#brotp: this is too far

[moonlightperseus]

(and you know) we're on each other's team

post 7x04 | buckley siblings | 525 words | also on ao3

“I kissed Tommy.”

Maddie, to her credit, does not choke on her coffee. She does however take way more of the hot beverage into her mouth than she intended and it burns as it goes down. 

“Or, uh, he kissed me and I—I kissed him back—because I liked it—liked kissing him. And we’re, uh, he’s picking me up Saturday—for a date.”

Maddie is aware that Buck is waiting for her to say something but her—looking for her approval brain is still trying to catch up, and all she can think to ask is— “Tommy?” 

“Yeah, y’know, uh, Kinard…” He trails off, staring at his hands.

Buck’s shoulders have hunched up and his entire posture is sinking in on itself in a way Maddie recognizes all too well, and—finally—her brain exits the loading screen it was stuck on. 

She reaches out to place a hand over his and feels him tense and then relax ever so slightly under her touch.

“Hey,” she says softly, waiting for him to meet her eyes, “I’m proud of you, this is a big thing to discover about yourself, and I’m so proud of you for embracing it. Thank you for telling me, Evan.” 

The tension drains from him completely, and Maddie gives his hands a gentle squeeze before retracting her hand.

“So, Tommy,” She leans back in her chair a bit and fixes him with her best inquisitive older sister gaze, “how’d that happen?”

“He came over to my apartment to, uh, apologize to me, actually, for ‘causing bad blood between me and Eddie’ which was—incredibly sweet but so backward because I was definitely the one causing any ‘bad blood’ with how stupid I’d been acting all ‘cause I was feeling jealous that Eddie was getting all his attention.” 

Maddie blinks, reminded why her brain had stalled out before, because—yeah, that was definitely not what she was expecting the follow up to her brother’s unusual behavior this past week to be.

“You were jealous—of Eddie?” 

Buck shrugs, “I mean, yeah, it explains why I was acting like a—and these are your own words—’fourteen year old girl.’”

“Right,” she studies him for a moment, he looks—at peace, in a way she’s not sure she’s ever seen him before, like a weight lifted from his shoulders. “And Tommy—he makes you happy?” 

“I mean all we’ve done is kiss and talk a little ‘cause he had to leave for a shift, but—yeah. I really liked kissing him, and I’m so excited for our date—like, I don’t think I’ve felt this excited about a date with someone since—since Abby.” 

Maddie softens, because for all her issues with Abby, she knows how important that relationship was to Buck. That this is important to Buck now. That the smile on his face is one she’s never saw when he was with Ali, or Taylor, or Natalia. 

That his happiness is something entirely genuine.

“Well, maybe just try avoid an emergency tracheotomy this time around?” 

Buck groans, burying his head in his hands, “I never should’ve told you about that.” 

[xnarlie-starlightx]

Created: MaxJefferson from DeviantArt

When things just gets more complicated for Maxine and her feelings, they’re certainly not that simple for her to rapidly explain towards Chloe. Still gets unsettle how her childhood friend would’ve react while Chloe certainly won’t care about it at all because everyone deserves happiness. No needed for Maxine to had nervousness since from the start.

“Good morning, Mark” 😘/😊

[userlaylivia]

@clubglee, @makeyouminemp3, @maya-matlin

1x20 // 8x13

[carolmunson]

always something there to remind me (s.h.)

summary: ten years after the sealing of the upside-down, you and your fiance steve head to a cookout to unwind during memorial day weekend. with steve on edge after a rough half sleep full of night terrors, you hope the day can be salvaged by seeing the party and just relaxing, but a violent thunderstorm changes those plans for the worse. pairings: steve x reader, lumax, edancy. heavy on the steddie brotp tho.

tw: 18+ as always. this story deals with themes of mental illness and ptsd, it is only intended for mature audiences. descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, internal and external (please be advised they are dramatizations). partner violence (unintentional). drinking/smoking. discussions of mental illness. very moody steve but very soft steve. features some tense arguments. smut, like, very loving and passionate smut. this relationship is not perfect, it's also a depiction of a moment in time in 1997. the emotional load was very much a woman's job and i personally think steve would be 'too proud' to be 'too soft' about his stuff. so there are parts that seem kind of 'eh' but -- that's just how things were sorta. gif by @kingofscoops

His pill case sounded like a rattle when you took it from the medicine cabinet, taking it into the kitchen where he was shrugging on his freshly ironed polo. The ironing board and hot iron still set up by the counter. The black stone contrasted nicely against your cherry wood cabinets that he installed two summers ago. That was when you both thought he might be getting better: the night terrors were less and less frequent, the flashbacks far and few between, he was less tense, less irritable. Seeking you constantly for soft touches and kisses, any kind of affection he could pull from you he'd take willingly. Two years ago was your two year anniversary -- when he finally told you the real story. Why he had all those scars, why he can't sleep, why he wakes up in a cold sweat crying. Why you'd never been able to figure out which health care company was providing him with so much medication and therapy when he was working part time at the hospital -- it's because it was the FBI.

It was two years ago where they took you to an underground office where they told you everything. Steve sat next to you, gripping your hand so tightly you thought it might break. They reassured over and over that nothing was coming back, that everything was over, but that Steve and his friends will likely never recover emotionally and mentally from what they endured. Four years into things now, you were both his fiance and his nurse. You checked in monthly with his caseworking team, but in these last few months, they've had nothing but shaky reports. You wondered if maybe his mind just isn't as sharp as it used to be -- you both just entered your thirties, maybe things get knocked loose quicker when you've been to hell and back. "Here, honey," you say softly, putting his pill case on the table. He looks at them and sighs, amber eyes lingering on the 'Saturday' section of the pill box. "Let me get you some wa--" "You don't need to give me my pills every day," he says -- it's soft and sharp, "I know I have to take them. I've been takin' them for ten years."

You offer him a tight smile, "I know, Stevie..." You trail off. 'It's important that he feels in control of the situation, a lot of his role when he was in this situation was to protect others. Try not to baby him about it, he might be fragile, but he doesn't like to feel like he is.'

"It's just...I don't want a repeat of last year," you quietly remind him. He had gotten too sure of himself when he started to feel better -- missing days, stopping altogether, off and on.

He reaches for the pill case and pops open the Saturday square, tossing the main five pills into his palm and then into his mouth. Pain, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, migraine, blood thinner. The heavy stuff sat in the cabinet above the fridge: Quaaludes, Oxycontin, Sumatriptan, Clozapine -- among others. Every day was a reminder to him that he didn't come out of this a stronger person. His dad let him know that at every visit, treating him like he had a son made of glass. "Don't," he says after he swallows, "Don't start with me."

Your eyes narrow in on the finger he puts up in warning and travels down to his big hand, a vein popping in his forearm and under the band of his watch. His bicep flexes against his polo, you follow it across the expanse of his chest and down the other arm, landing back on the pill case.

You knew last night what kind of day it would be this morning. Desperate reaches for you while he woke up from another nightmare, his damp chest up against yours while he hid his face in your neck. He hugs you so tightly to him so he doesn't float away, and you match his strength as best you can until he falls back asleep. Sometimes it takes hours of stroking his hair and soothing him before he feels safe enough to even close his eyes. In the years you've been together, he's been more and more embarrassed over these needier nights. 'It's just, baby -- I'm a man. I have to get over all this shit.'

"I'm not starting anyth--" "You are," he warns, eyes narrowing. He clenches his jaw, "Don't."

"M'sorry," you breath out. You take the pill case when he sets it back down and bring it back upstairs to the main bathroom. You refill the case before placing it back in the medicine cabinet with a sigh. When it closes you look at yourself in the mirror, no longer the fresh 26 year old he met at the hospital admin desk when he started his part time job as an assistant in the children's psych floor. Gaining hours towards getting his pediatric therapist licensure to help kids who were like him and his friends -- well, sort of. To some extent. You smooth over your button down dress, his favorite one in your closet -- navy blue with beige flowers littering the fabric. It flounces over you in dips and swoops, falling just under your knee. Another sigh and you grab your purse from the bedroom and slip on your sandals, clip clopping down the stairs where you hear him grab the keys. Another Saturday morning where the group gets together and just hangs out, even though Steve sees Eddie, Rob, and Dustin pretty often throughout the week. They've been doing it for years now, but the outside buzzed with the promise of summer, Memorial Day weekend making everyone feel more at ease. Everyone except Steve.

He slams the car door when he gets in the drivers seat, making you jump in the leather of his Lexus. He runs his hands over his jean clad thighs, having grown in size over the last six years with age and trips to the gym. 'I just wanna be in like, peak physical condition if anything tries to come back. I wanna be more ready than when I was a kid, y'know?' And while the muscle was certainly titilating, it made for a very wary you when things went left. "Don't be like that, Stevie," you say softly, your voice calm and gentle like it is with patients on the floor, "I promise I wasn't trying to get on your case. Do you -- I don't know, do you wanna just stay home?" "No," he snaps, looking ahead toward the road as he starts the car, "I didn't pack a cooler full of all the shit you made for this cook-out just the stay home." "Can you relax?" you ask a little harsher than you planned, "Are you even good to drive?" "I'm good. To drive," he says through gritted teeth, pulling down the street. "Are you sure? 'Cause -- Honey you -- you didn't sleep so good last night and I --" He hits the breaks hard, stopping short at a stop light turning to look at you, tilting his head a bit to glare at you down the slope of his straight nose.

"Drop it," he says, the tenseness in his voice sends a chill up your spine. "Stevie I'm not trying t --" "Drop. It." he warns again, "Don't make me raise my voice at you." "Don't talk to me like that," you say sharply while he pulls the car forward when the light turns green. "Then don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child," he snaps back. "Well maybe if you didn't have an attitude with me like one I wouldn't have to," you cross your arms over your seat belt and huff. He shakes his head slowly, tongue tight between his teeth. He thought he knew better than to fall in love with someone who had a tongue as sharp as his. "You're askin' for an argument when you say shit like that to me," he says lowly, the Lexus crunching over helicopter seeds while he navigates through the neighborhood. You see his shoulders rise and fall while he attempts to steady himself -- fuse lit and ready to blow. "I'm sorry," you follow up, a deep breath filling your chest. You uncross your arms to lean your elbow on the edge of the window, resting your cheek in your hand, "I didn't mean that." "You did," he responds, tight and frustrated, quiet. He hastily reaches into his back pocket with one hand, eyes still on the road. Steve pops a cigarette between his full lips and you sigh at the sound of the lighter flicking. “What’s wrong now, hm?” he asks while the cigarette dangles from the corner of his mouth, “What’s your problem?” “Nothing,” you say – it’s something. He takes a drag and blows the smoke out the open window, “It’s just that you bought that pack yesterday and it’s already half way gone. You always chain smoke when you –” “Give me a fucking break,” he snaps, voice raising with each word, “God, can you let me have fuckin’ anything?” “No Steve, I guess not. God forbid I look out for your heal–” you start sarcastically. “Look out for yourself, baby,” he says sharply into the rearview so you can see his glare, “I’m doin’ just fine without you on my back.” You bicker the rest of the way to Ed and Nancy’s house, he only raises his voice one more time. 

Eddie and Nancy's wedding was one for the ages, something about the mixture of straight laced and all over the place that made sense when they tied the knot. The pair, you were told, seemed unlikely until Eddie was in recovery after being removed from the Upside Down. He was down there for six months, tested on for another six. The Party and the older kids would visit him every day, keeping him updated and fed and hydrated. They'd cheer him on when he made advances in his mobility -- but for the most part he just needed rest. Nancy was working a lot, throwing herself into journalism like she always wanted, so she'd come to the hospital late. She wasn't really one for small talk so instead, she'd just read. She'd read aloud while he was asleep, her voice slow and calm -- stoic. Keeping him lulled like still water, she didn't even know if he knew she was there. One night, she picked up where she left off on the first installment of Lord of the Rings, continuing in her soft stoic voice. She watched him lay there with his eyes closed, breath steady, the beeps of the hospital machines in quiet rhythm with him. She at frist felt silly before she started, but maybe in his dreams he could hear her, and maybe just maybe if she does something fun, he won't have nightmares tonight. So she tries it...she puts on a silly voice for Samwise, and she continues with her silly voices. Gruff and manly for Aragorn, gleeful for Sam, some weird form of Scottish for Gimli. She bites her lip, smiling as she tries each one, shaking her curly head at her ridiculousness and stops. Then she hears it...the low rumbling giggle from Eddie in his hospital bed. "Keep going, it's funny..." he said with a grin, eyes still closed. "You can hear me?" she asked, trying to stifle her giggle. "I can hear you every night," he said, eyes peering open slightly, "It's the best." "Do you want me to keep reading?" she asked with a blush. He nods, a soft grin pulling up on his lips while he eyes closes again, "Only if you do the voices."

When you park in the driveway it's clear that the rest of the group arrived before you, their cars already Tetris'd into their places. Steve lugs the cooler out of the back seat with a grunt, hoisting it to rest on his broad shoulder. You roll your eyes at his machismo, like someone is watching him at all times and he has something to prove. You both walk to the back, the sounds of music and conversation and laughter bubbling louder and louder as you get to the gate of the yard.

A symphony of 'Heeeyyy!' and 'There he is!' and 'Finally!' come from the group as he opens the gate and you follow in toe. Eddie comes over quickly to help with the cooler, his hair still as long as it was when he was 20 – the only real updates being his five o’clock shadow and the ring in his nose. A few more weary tired lines by his eyes. His home made Iron Maiden muscle tee had a small sweat mark by the neckline – they must’ve been out here getting ready all morning. “Hey man,” he grins when the cooler gets set down, pulling Steve in for a tight hug. “Hey,” Steve smiles, patting his back hard, savoring the hold. “You alright?” Eddie asks when he lets go, putting a hand to his face, “You feeling okay?” Steve smiles tightly and nods but Eddie only half buys it, returning his look before turning to you. He comes forward, kissing both your cheeks with his full lips, scruff scratching at your skin, “Hi, sweetheart.” “Hi Ed,” you grin, watching everyone else come up to say their hellos. “Where’s Nance?” Steve asks, but his question is answered when she waddles out of the sliding door of the kitchen with a pitcher of lemonade. From the back, you’d have no idea she was seven months pregnant, but from the side – let’s just say, it was gonna be a real big boy. “Honey, what did I say?” Eddie calls out, walking over to her and taking the pitcher. “It’s not even heavy,” she chides back with an exasperated eye roll. You giggle at their bickering, listening to their sweet back and forth with a gentle ache in your chest. You wonder if Steve will be the same way when you’re pregnant. You wonder if the back and forths will sound so sweet, so innocent, so soft. Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the cooler opening, turning to look and grab what you can to put in the fridge inside. Steve takes the meat out to put by the grill and a few appetizers that you put together last nice. You take the icebox cake and chocolate covered strawberries, hurrying with them through the sliding door into the kitchen. “I know, mommy just thinks she can do it all,” Eddie coos, resting his hands on Nancy’s stomach while she slices cheeseburger toppings on the counter, “She just won’t rest, are you gonna be like that too? You gonna run me ragged? You gonna be just like mommy?” Nancy laughs and it’s half airy, half from deep in her belly, “Look, it’s just better if I’m active so that I’m not surprised by it when he’s born.” “I know,” he says, kissing her cheek, “I know. You still love me, Wheeler?” “Love you always,” she grins, blushing when she sees you come in with desserts, “Oh! Oh my goodness, let me help you!” “I got it!” you say, “Just hope there’s room in the fridge!” When everything’s loaded up you give each other a hug, watching as Eddie and Steve have a mildly stern conversation about who is grilling what. ‘It’s my grill.’  ‘And? It’s my meat.’ 

“Do you think they should just kiss?” you ask while you watch them. “Honestly, I feel like they need to at this point," she laughs, "Go on outside, I’ll be out in a few,” Nancy encourages and you make your way back out into the very early summer heat – mugginess starting to soak the air around you. Before you know it, you’re already being pulled over to the picnic table to watch a game of Magic the Gathering between Lucas, Max, Dustin, Mike, and Will. El doesn’t come back to Hawkins very much,so you’ve been told – she’s the only person from the group you haven’t met. “So is this like D&D?” you ask, resting your cheek against your palm while you lean on the table. “Yes and no,” Max explains, looking at her options, “It’s like…” “Like poker but D&D,” Dustin says, making Mike, Will, and Lucas snort. “I think that’s the easiest way to explain it to you,” Mike says. “I trust that,” you laugh with them. You’ve been consistently hopeless with trying to learn the mechanics of Dungeons and Dragons but still enjoy watching, loving it more when Steve decides to join a campaign. He lets loose in ways you’ve never seen when he does, smiling and laughing, free like a child in the summertime. The sun beating on your back suddenly disappears when you hear Steve come up behind you with a hand on your shoulder, “Can I have my glasses, honey?” “They’re in the glove box,” you say, turning around, “Why do you need them?” “Oh, is Erica making you read her thesis outline?” Lucas asks, “Just tell her to buzz off. She already passed it in.” “Sinclair – don’t be an asshole,” Steve gives him a look that can only be described as ‘bitchy’, “She wants some assurance. We need another psychologist in the family, and she’s obviously the only one smart enough to get it done.” “Rude,” Max deadpans, flicking her eyes up at him. “You’re rude, twerp,” he says back, he turns back to you after sucking his teeth, "My glasses?"

“I just said, in the glovebox,” you repeat, a little sharper than you meant to. He lets out a huff through his nose, looking at you like he can’t believe you’d get snippy with him before stomping off toward the gate of the yard. “Is he alright?” Dustin asks quietly, “I saw him on Thursday he just…I don’t know, he seems a little tense.” “He had a bad night,” you explain, toying at a splinter in the wood, “He’ll be okay.” The sun disappears again but not from the expanse of your fiance’s shoulders and chest, but from a thick cloud moving slowly across the sky. The relief from the heat is almost welcomed until you feel the humidity raise a bit in the air – a little too tight, a little too suffocating for your taste. 

The party is in full swing while Meredith Brooks’ ‘Bitch,’ blares from the boom box, Nancy and Max screaming the lyrics with abandon while the boys groan. You smile at how much fun they’re having, the afternoon going smoothly enough that you haven’t had time to notice how cloudy the sky had become. Your eyes linger on Steve, glasses on while looking at Erica’s thesis outline with her on the back porch. He had a pen in one hand and a cigarette in the other, the fifth one in the last hour and a half.  "You got something here," he says to her, tapping his pen while continues reading, "Your argument's really strong -- especially about the rates of homelessness, it's almost always trauma related." "Well -- I am me," she says. He raises his brows and nods in agreement. "Can't spell America without Erica," he teases. You watch him, how gentle he is and how he taps through outline, asking her questions about how she feels about the finished thesis, where she got it bound, if the articles he sent over were helpful. They speak in words you don't understand, but it's okay -- he looks calmer, brows softened while they talk, so encouraging. "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed --"

Eddie's rasp pierces the groups singing and conversation as he belts the lyrics next to his wife. Everyone looks up to watch him go, laughing as he does. "We should cover this," he grins, "Me and the guys, we gotta cover this at the next show." "So you can get boo'd off the stage?" Mike laughs. "So I can make sure your ass doesn't get in the bar?" he asks back. Mike scowls while Dustin laughs at him -- it's always smarter to not try it with Eddie, he'd always get you back ten fold. With a jolt, you feel something cold hit your hand, looking down to see a water drop splat against your skin. Then another, and another, and another. After the fourth or fifth, the rain starts to come down -- and then it starts to pour. "Alright!" Nancy calls, "Everyone grab something and head inside." The Party rises, wincing as the rain pellets down on them while everyone grabs a foil tray or covered Pyrex filled with food. You follow suit, hurrying inside with the undressed cheeseburgers and buns, laying them safe on the counter in the kitchen. Everyone else starts to file in, Steve and Eddie turning off the grill while the sky starts to darken significantly. The first rumble of thunder sends everyone's face to a flat line -- you wished Robin wasn't spending the weekend in New York City so that you'd have someone on the front lines with you and Nancy to keep everyone at ease. Nancy and Robin definitely had their moments but had a much tighter grasp on the world around them now.

A few flashes of lightening crack followed by deep rumbles of thunder. Boom, crack! Boom, crack, crack! You notice everyone resettle themselves around the kitchen table -- jittery, quiet. You sit down across from Steve while he looks down, following the woodgrain with his finger. You keep your gaze on his chest, watching for a tell -- he swallows the frustration he feels from having your eyes on him. "It's alright guys, just a storm," Nancy reminds everyone gently while she brings in the last of the food from outside. Eddie gets her seated before opening things back on the counter, the kitchen smelling like barbecue while he opens the foils. The conversations start around you again while you sit across from Steve, the tension sitting like a weighted stone in your chest. Another flash of lightning and that's when you notice it, the twitch of his hand. The thunder rumbles and he reaches up to rub his eyes with his thumb and forefinger under his glasses. Shit. "You okay, honey?" you ask him softly. He swallows, jaw clenching, "Mhm." "Okay," you nod, trying not to bring attention to it just yet, just incase it passes. The thunder booms again and he lets out a breath through his nose, he takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes more agressively. You tap your foot under the table and he can hear it, he can hear everything in the room -- the scrapes of foil on foil. The separate conversations. Eddie's laugh while he talks to Nancy. The clinks of silverware. Ice in cups. The drumming of fingers. Your tap. Tap. Tap. Tapping. Under the fucking table could you just stop tapping your fucking foot -- The next crack of lightening is so intense it shakes the house and everyone gets quiet. 'Just a storm', Nancy reminds, but her voice sounds far away. Thunder rumbles again in the distance and he swears when the lightening flashes through the windows it's red. He rubs his eyes again, a short burst of breath coming through his nose. 'Honey?' he hears you but its like he has cotton in his ears. The thunder rumbles again, the slick squelching of vines starts to creep into the sound of it. Another crack of lighting and the lights in the kitchen flicker. But when they turn back on Steve isn't with the group anymore. He's not even in the kitchen. He's back at the Creel House. 'Baby? Steve?' your voice is distant -- does Vecna have you? Did he find you? Is he taking you away from him? Steve whimpers, getting out of the chair, pulling at the roots of his light brown locks -- desperate to pull himself out of the memory, "Help, please..."

"I'm here, Steve," you say rounding the table while the rest of the group stands back, getting ready to help. Max grabs a boom box and Lucas runs to his car to grab his tapes with everyone's favorite songs on it -- just in case. Dustin approaches him slowly, hands out in front of him while Steve shrinks to the floor, back against the cabinets. "Steve, it's me, it's Dustin," he says calmly and slowly, "You're in Eddie's kitchen, Steve." But Steve only hears Dustin saying his name -- Dustin must be in trouble. "I'm coming," Steve says, eyes shut tight, falling further away. You watch as sweat grows on his hair line and neck, muttering a fuck under you breath. This was gonna be a bad one. "Honey, honey," you continue, kneeling down in front of him to ease his hands off of his hair, "You're okay, you're safe. I'm with you." 'Honey.' He hears your voice in the distance, searching for you in the blue black haze of the Upside Down, the thick particles of dust in his eyes. The slither of vines covers the walls and the floors while he ascends the stairs -- where are Nancy and Robin? Weren't they with him? "Nance?" You watch him call out for Nancy and she goes to get up but Eddie puts his hand delicately on her shoulder. He shakes his head no at her, "Just talk to him," he says to her. 'I'm here, Steve, it's okay!' 'It's okay!' But it's not Nancy's voice, it gets more an more deep, more gravelly, more like him. Steve flinches in front of you, soft 'no, no, no's slipping from his mouth. 'Stevie...' Where are you? Does he have you? 'S̷T̴E̶V̴I̷E̵.'

The sound of Vecna's voice booms in his ears, the thunder rumbling, the red lighting flashing to light up the house. You were never here -- Vecna tricked him. He breathes hard, looking around while the vines snake around, searching for him. "Okay, okay baby," you say hurriedly, watching him while he starts to hyperventilate. You raise your voice to get through to him, "Honey you gotta take some deep breaths for me, okay? Can you hear me?" Max and Lucas come back, smacking the tape into the radio and fastforwarding until Marc Cohn's Walking In Memphis crackles through the speakers. They both heave breaths while the song plays, leaning over the table to settle down from running. "You hear the song, honey?" you ask, "Can you hear it? Talk to me, Steve." You reach your hands up, sliding slowly up his chest to rest your hands by his jaw in a soothing touch. But for Steve in the Creel House, the vines have found him, slithering up his chest and around his neck, tighter and tighter against the wall. He tenses, big hands coming up and grabbing your wrists with a grip so tight you whimper. "No, shit, shit, shit! Fuck! STOP! NO! I CAN'T!" he panics, gasping for breath while his nails dig into your forearms and drag painfully downward why he tries to pull you away. "Ow, ow baby, hey, you're hurting me," you yelp out. He doesn't stop, eyes switching from tightly closed to open and unfocused while he reaches up to your biceps, clawing at them in defense. You reach out a final time. "Honey, honey, please, it's me," you say, tears balancing on your lower lashes while he rises, taking you with him. He handles you real rough, grabbing you by the shoulders and throwing you to the ground with a loud thud. And god does it hurt.

"HEY!" Eddie's voice booms out, gruff and loud like the rumbles of thunder outside. He gets behind Steve, pulling his arms close to his chest while Steve struggles against him. Erica and Mike hurry toward you to help you slowly up off the floor. You reel at first, wanting to run back to him. "Stay in front of her Wheeler," Ed warns, "You all stay right there." You stand behind Mike with Erica who takes your hand tightly in hers. You feel the pulse of pain in your arms when you look down -- gouges and deep scrapes, the blood shines in the line of the kitchen. You shake your head out of it and watch on as Eddie and Dustin do what they can to help -- the song continues to play in the background. "No, no," Steve whimpers, twisting his wrists in Eddie's grasp to break free, but in this state Eddie is stronger. He pulls him close, Steve back to his chest while they sink back down against the cabinets. "Shh," Eddie soothes, still holding him tight, "We got you, just listen -- you're in my kitchen. You hear the song playing?" Steve grunts, thrashing while Eddie hugs him tighter to him. "Steve, listen, listen to the song," Dustin says, "Focus on me and Eddie's voice, listen." Steve struggles, less intense than before, "Shh, shh, it's okay Harrington," Eddie soothes, rocking him slowly back and forth. "They need me," Steve cries weakly, breaths slowing while he pulls again at Eddie's hold, "Gotta save 'em..." "Steve," Dustin says again, getting closer. He rubs his shoulder slowly, pressing his thumb into the joint, "We're safe, all the kids are safe." "Safe..." he repeats back. Eddie sighs a little in apprehensive relief, letting go of one wrist to run a hand over his head, turning Steve's face into his chest and holding him close. "That's right, Steve," Eddie says softly, "Safe." 'Saw the ghost of Elvis, on Union Avenue, Followed him up to the Gates of Graceland And they watched him walk right through...' Steve can hear the lyrics, warbled and tinny in the Upside Down. 'Safe, safe, safe.' Echoing through the walls -- it gets dimmer. 'Now security they did not see him, They just hovered round his tomb...' Dimmer and dimmer. 'Almost over buddy, I can tell, we're right here. You feel Henderson?' A soft warm rub on his shoulder, the lyrics to the song, Eddie's voice. The sound of vines fade away, he hears the rain, it fades to black. "Walkin' in Memphis..." Steve whispers, half confused, while his eyes open and focus -- squinting in the light of the kitchen. Overwhelmed he looks around while the room tilts on it's axis. He grips Eddie's leg tightly to steady himself, he's breaths picking up again. "It's okay buddy, it's just us," Eddie says again, "You with me?" Steve nods, face cracking while he lets out a broken sob. You can only watch while Eddie flicks his eyes up at you in another warning to not come closer yet. Dustin let's go while Eddie starts to hoist him up, wrapping Steve's arm around his shoulder while he helps him to the guest room down the hall. "C'mon big boy," he says gently, "Let's get you some rest."

Things feel a little quiet after Eddie comes back from the guest room, he's tense -- no longer having fun the way he was before. His eyes are dark while he heads outside into the rain to have a cigarette. Lucas turns off the stereo and The Party sits back down at the kitchen table for a moment to decompress. They silently take out of the Magic the Gathering cards and start to set up again, Erica joins them seamlessly. When things seems a semblance of stable, Nancy gets up and takes your hand and leads you to the bathroom, "Let's check you out, alright?"

You sit on the toilet seat cover while Nancy takes out a first aid kit from under the sink. You listen while she hums the climax of Whitney's 'I Have Nothing' quietly, searching the medicine cabinet for some Bactine for your cuts.

"Are you okay?" she asks, taking both of your hands to outstretch your arms, she turns them to see the damage -- she tries to hide her face of disappointment but it's clear.

"I'll be fine," you say softly while she wipes down the gouges and scrapes, "I can take care of it Nance."

"No, you just -- just let me," she says softly. The Bactine stings -- so does the way she looks at you -- pitifully. You hear Eddie's boots clomp down the hallway before he shows up at the door frame of the bathroom.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asks -- you wish people would stop asking. They only ask when they see him lose control. You do this all the time, you take care of him all the time.

"I'm okay," you repeat, "A little banged up, but y'know. It's okay."

"Does he do that alot?" Eddie asks, his jaw clenching, "Does he hurt you a lot?"

"This is one of maybe...I don't know -- four times he's gotten physical with me during an episode," you explain, "And you all know about them."

"Does he hurt you when he's here?" Eddie asks, tapping at his temple.

"No, Ed, don't be ridiculous," you sigh, exasperated that he'd even ask.

"Steve's not like that, Eddie," Nancy says, "We've been over this." "Well, here's the thing Nance," he starts, tense, "We're ten years out of this shit and no matter how bad my shit got I've never put a hand on you like that. Ever." "Eddie --" "No, no, listen," he says, "I don't like that, and I especially don't like that happening in my house in front of my pregnant wife." "And what would you like me to do about it, Ed?" you snap, "I can't -- fuck -- I can't fucking fix him for you." "I'm not asking you to fix him," he says back, a pain deep in his chest coming through with his voice, "I'm asking you to be sure that you still want to be a part of this -- your wedding's what -- October? You really wanna be worrying about this?" "For better or for worse, right?" you ask back, choking on the lump in your throat, "That's the promise." Eddie tucks his lips in, his own eyes getting teary while he scans the gouges that Nancy carefully puts bandaids over. "Ice your hip and shoulder for the first couple days," he mutters, biting the edge of his them, "After a fall like that. Then heat." You nod, quietly murmuring a thank you. "S'what my mom used to do," he says under his breath. Eddie scans you slowly one more time, swallowing hard before pushing off the door frame and walking back down the hall. You hear their bedroom door click closed in the distance. "You know how he gets," Nancy says, "Stuff like that y'know -- that's hard for him." "I know." She takes a washcloth, running it under cold water before squeezing it out. Droplets fall on the fabric of her light purple maternity shirt, leaving dark people marks on the top of her belly. She hands it to you. "Here, for his head," she says softly, "In case he's not all the way back yet."

You creep slowly into the guest room, seeing him laying on his stomach with half his face buried in the pillow. His sculpted arms tucked under it to give him something to hold. "Baby?" you ask quietly, "You awake?" He nods with his eyes closed and you look him over -- big hulking man who needs to be held. He hates it but you can't help but love him for knowing he needs it. You put the wet face cloth on the side table, sliding down next to him while he moves over to his side. In one swift motion you've replaced the pillow -- arms wrapping tight around your waist and up your back, one hand molding over your shoulder. He hides his face in your neck and you can feel his tears on his lashes and cheeks. His shoulders shake while he cries for a while, cold sweat damp on his shirt and the back of his neck. You never check how long he cries for – as long as he does. “I’m here,” you say softly, nails grazing his scalp in a steady swipe, “I’m right here.” You adjust a bit in his hold and you feel his grip tighten slightly, a soft whine of desperation leaking from his throat. “Don’t go, please,” he begs softly. “M’not going anywhere big guy,” you soothe, “This wedding’s already put us ten grand in the hole. Where would I even go, now?” You hear a soft ‘tsss’ come out of him, a tug of a smile against the skin of your neck where he hides. 

“Oh, is that funny?” you joke, still coasting your fingers through his hair. He groans, letting his arms let go of you so he can sit up, you can see the tension in his body still. Steve looks down at you with tear stained cheeks and tired eyes, beckoning you forward with his fingers. You sit up for your thank you kiss, his warm palm cupping your cheek while he holds you gently in place. He kisses once slowly, then twice, three times – holding the last so you know he means it. When you break away he rests his forehead against yours, offering a few shallow breaths. You stand up off the bed while he sits off the edge of it, standing between his thighs. 

"Did I hurt you?" he asks softly. He asks after every episode ever since he did hurt you back when you first started dating. A swift smack to the arm that stung for a solid twenty minutes afterward with the amount of power he put into it. It welted. He cried for hours. He wrote you love letters every day for a week. 

You nod, showing him the scratches and bandages on your arms, "I think you thought I was a vine or something. You threw me. Like, to the ground. It was pretty hard."

His lower lip quivers, "No, no, no." “No, Steve,” you assure, trying to calm him, “It’s okay, you didn’t know. It’s alright, I’m alright. It was an accident.” 

His face contorts while the tears start again, his big hands reach out to your waist, pulling you close to him, "It's not okay, it's not alright."

His voice raises an octave while he cries, "I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay, Stevie, shh," you whisper to him, he pulls you in tighter, body shaking while pressing his nose against your cheek.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he cries, sniffling, "You know I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't," you say back, your own cry getting caught in your throat. He sniffles again, leaning back to face you, both of his hands cupping your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing the apples.

"I love you," he says with a depth and intensity that makes the lump in your throat give way. You cry with him and it breaks his heart, "I love you so much honey, you know I’d never…"

You nod, trying to calm your cry the way he was able to calm his -- so used to swallowing it up even though you'd beg him not to.

"I – shit – I have to tell you something," he says softly, hands sliding from your cheeks back down to your waist and then your hips. He looks down at the small triangle of mattress between you and the apex of his thighs.

"What's up, Steve?" you ask, running your hands through his hair again soothingly, "What is it?"

He lifts his head up, eyes shutting at the comforting touch, but when he opens them he looks defeated -- guilty, "I haven't been taking my meds at night. I was -- was flushin’ them cause I just -- baby, I don't know. I can't keep depending on this shit."

"Steve."

"I know," he nods, "I know...That's why -- that's why my shit's getting worse."

"You're not just taking this stuff to take it," you say, cupping his cheeks, "It's to keep you here. It's to keep you with me."

"I know," he repeats, voice cracking again, "I'll call my shrink tomorrow I promise. I'll get back on track. Fuck -- I'm sorry -- and I'm -- I'm sorry I was so mean to you this morning."

"It's okay," you nod, pressing a kiss to his forehead. You drop your hands and rub his shoulder, "I think we should go home, alright? We can get on the couch for the night and just rest."

"Okay," he says quietly, nodding. He slowly gets up off the bed, a little dizzy, using you for support. You both slowly walk out of the bedroom, Nancy peeking around the end of the hall.

"Everything good?" she asks.

You smile at her, "Yeah, I think we're gonna head home."

She smiles tightly, heading into the kitchen where the rest of the group still sits, eating and talking. Their heads turn when you both come into view -- soft eyes and smiles.

"I'm okay, guys," Steve nods, barely able to meet their gazes, "It's fine."

Nancy approaches you with a few tupperwares filled with food and dessert, "We'll get the cooler back to you on Tuesday."

"Don't worry about it," you smile, gathering the tupperware in your arms. You watch as the group gets up one by one to give Steve a hug goodbye. Their movements are slow and controlled, warning touches on his shoulders beforehand to remind him ‘It’s just me, it’s just my arms, I’m hugging you’. Soft mumbled words of support, nothing too loud – don’t startle each other. Wraiths of the friendship they all shared earlier. Rehearsed reactions to all of their sensitive needs – if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen all of theirs. And you had, once or twice. “I’ll get a copy bound for you,” Erica says while she hugs him. “You make me so proud, Sinclair,” he smiles. Nancy walks you both to the door and you turn, “How’s Ed?” “He’ll call later,” she nods, a look behind her eyes that matches yours. You hug goodbye, share quick reminders about food for the baby shower and a few crafty decoration plans before heading to the car with a very tired Steve. The rain patters on the hood of the Lexus while you both sit in the leather interior, this time with you in the driver's seat. He rubs at his temples with his eyes closed while you rifle through your purse for a sandwich baggie of emergency migraine medicine. “Here,” you say, handing him the pill, “Before it starts to get bad.” “Hmm,” he grumbles in agreement, popping it in his dry mouth to suck it down.  “We’ll be home soon, okay?” you say, hand coming down on his thigh reassuringly, “Just close your eyes for now.” 

He takes the tupperwares when you get out of the car, fishing his keys out of his back pocket while he does. His strides are long while you hurry up behind him, following him into the house only to bump into his back while he’s stopped by the thermostat to turn on the air. “Sorry,” you say softly. “S’okay,” he replies back, barely above a whisper. He puts the food in the fridge while you head upstairs to start a shower, a ritual you’ve both come to learn well after days or nights like these. You take out the good soap, the shower oil, all the aroma therapy you can to get him to ease up. Anyone else watching you get things ready would assume it was about to be a very sexy time for you. On the same coin, these showers are probably the most intimate moments you have with each other. He comes in as the room starts to steam and you help him ease off his polo, you start on the buttons of your dress while he takes off his jeans and socks. He helps with your bra, both of you shedding your underwear at the same time before you step in. Steve soothes almost instantly, his muscles relaxing under the hot stream, sighing further while he gets soaped up. You don’t have to be in there with him, but you do. He needs you so close so he doesn’t float away. His favorite part comes near the end, sitting in the flow of the shower together while you wash his hair. His eyes flutter closed while your nails scratch and massage him – he swears his hair is even thicker than it was before with all the blood flow you encourage. You wash his hair twice, then deep condition, holding him to your chest while you wait the five minutes it takes to settle in. He leaves soft kisses on your collar bone, on all the marks he left on you in Nance and Eddie's kitchen. He holds your hand, so you can’t float away. You both end up on the couch afterward, the leather groaning beneath you both while you lay across the deep seat cushions, you lay on your back, he lays on his side against you. The heat of his bare chest warms you through your oversized sleep shirt. His soft sweat pants tangle up with your bare legs. You let whatever’s on TV play – reruns you guess, you’re thinking about too many other things. “How’s your head, baby?” you ask while his eyes shut, leaning on your shoulder. “S’fine, better,” he says, he lifts your hand and kisses your fingers before placing both his and your hand on your chest over your heart. The ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dum lulling him to sleep. You half watch TV for however long until your own eyelids get heavy. You click off the TV and opt to turn the stereo on low, just so he doesn’t get lost while he sleeps.

You wake up to oldies, music your parents would listen to on records in the living room growing up – songs that came out a few years before you were born. Oldies. It's dark outside but you can still hear the rain. Steve’s already awake, just watching you while his hand smooths back and forth over your sternum. “You snored,” he says. “Good,” you reply quietly. You both snort out breathy laughs, feeling the warmth of his lips as they smoosh against your cheek. “How you feeling?” he asks, hand coming up to rest on your cheek, sliding down the side of your neck. “A little banged up,” you say, “Might bruise.” “M’sorry,” he says again, a tinge of guilty pink tinging his ears. “It’s okay,” you repeat for what feels like the thousandth time in the past six hours. “You looked really pretty today,” Steve says gently, almost sheepish, “I should’ve told you.” “You looked really handsome,” you say back, “But you were kind of being an asshole so I didn’t want to tell you.” “You should’ve told me, it probably would’ve cured my PTSD,” he says seriously but sarcastically, “Could’ve saved the entire afternoon if you just said how good I looked. Prob’ly wouldn’t have had an episode.” “You’re such an ass,” you laugh, smiling. He leans in to kiss you and it’s the kind that makes you too weak to stand. That kiss got him a second date, it proved that they said about old King Steve in highschool. On the stereo, Sherry Baby bleeds into Unchained Melody.

His hand reaches up under your neck to tilt you up toward him, tasting your tongue with his, guiding you with his kiss, “Angel…” he murmurs. He breathes through his nose while he keeps his lips pressed to yours, desperate to stay here in this moment, attached to you. “Steve,” you say softly, breaking away, “Stevie…” “Please,” he whispers, nuzzling your nose slowly, “Please.” “Lemme take care of you.” “I…” your thoughts trail off while he kisses your neck, sucking and nibbling gently at the spot just by the hinge of your jaw. He waits for your soft sigh, the tilt of your hips towards him – your allowance. He grins when he hears the air pass your lips, the realignment of your spine beneath him while he settles between your squishy thighs. His hands travel south, pushing up the hem of your big t-shirt to your waist, holding you there for a moment while his kiss takes over your mouth again. He tugs your cotton panties down, breaking the kiss while he sits up on the couch to slide them off your ankles. Steve looks down at you with an expression that makes your breath catch in your chest, serious – with supple lips, needy eyes. He leads himself back down again, big hands sliding down the sides of your thighs over your hips to your waist again. Instinctively, your legs spring up to wrap around him while his hips align with yours, feeling his strained cock in his sweats against you. “Jesus…” he whispers again, eyes fluttering closed. He buries his face in your neck while you rock slowly against him, the pressure and friction against the underside of his erection sending low volts through his body. “Mm-mm,” he grunts, shaking his head ‘no’ while mumbling, “It’s supposed to be about you.” “Well stop dangling it in front of me then,” you giggle quietly, he giggles too. The smile sends you reeling, his pretty teeth, the way his nose scrunches. He leans forward again to kiss, he just can’t stop kissing, can’t stop tasting your lips, feeling you against him. Steve’s hand reaches down to pull himself out of his sweats, pushing the waistband to the tops of his thighs while he uses the other to push one thigh out off the couch. “You ready f’me?” he asks huskily, tip dragging slowly from the pool of slick at your opening up in between your folds. He lets his thumb run in slow circles over your clit while he waits for your answer, your slow nod while you lean your head back on the arm rest gives him the okay. He eases himself in slow, the tip pushing past your opening with some resistance. “Open up a lil’, honey,” he mumbles quietly while he guides the tip in again, “Open up for me.”

Your little gasps float out of you and into the fuzzy part of his brain, gliding down his spine. You angle your hips upward, one thigh up against the couch cushions and the other dangling over the edge, spread as wide as you can. He holds himself above you with one arm, the other aiding in pushing himself further in, the tip finally breaching your core. He keeps guiding, slow back and forths while you ease open for him – taking him in, inch by inch. “Oh yes, mhm,” he groans to himself softly, “Thass–hmm-that’s it, angel.” He let’s go when he’s three fourths in, crowding over you, forearms on each side of your head while he strokes slowly to start – getting you used to him, accommodating his size. “That’s good?” he breathes. “Ye-yeah,” you breathe back to him. His mouth latches to yours again, feeling him guide your hands up beside your head, lacing fingers while he presses you deeper into the couch cushions. He keeps his strokes slow and deliberate, feeling every ridge of you inside, how you suck him in and hug him tight in place – but how he feels isn’t nearly as important. It’s the way your brows contort, the way you bite your lip, your whines into his mouth while he kisses you. Each slow thrust makes you coat him in a new flow of slickness. “C’mere,” he says into your jawline, letting go of one hand to sneak behind you at the waist, pulling you flush to him. The new angle makes you let out a whine while he hits a spot deep inside you, he grunts at the reaction, the feeling of you taking him in. His pace picks up the smallest tick, face centimeters from yours – your noses brush, lips barely touching while his amber eyes keep steady on yours. You let out short huffs, little whimpers every time the head of his cock pushes deeper with every roll of your hips. “S’nice, hm?” he asks, brows slanting, softening. “Mhm,” you squeak back, “S-so good, honey.” Your legs pull in again, socked heels resting on the top of his butt while he sighs at the change in pressure. “Thassperfect, god,” he hisses out, head dropping down to your chest, pressing sloppy kisses above your breasts while he gathers himself. He groans into your neck while wet warmth tightens over him, soft velvet walls coaxing him closer and closer to the edge. 

Steve’s shoulders flex while he balances on his forearms above you again, your forgotten hand taken by his, fingers interlocked. His face inches from yours while he looks at you, the way your eyes flutter, the soft parting of your lips, the high pitched  ‘Uhn, uhn, uhn, uhn,’s coming out of them — you’re so beautiful.

“So pretty,” he says to you, huffing a breath into a smile, “So pretty, baby.” 

You kiss him a thank you. You see him swallow when he breaks away, his eyes getting glassy. 

“S’gonna be okay,” he assures, nodding down at you, nose to nose, “We’re gonna be okay.” Slow thrusts  between statements. 

“Gonna get married,” he says, a groan flowing right down into your mouth while he kisses you, “Gonna be just like Ed and Nance, right?” 

You nod while his thrusts get more passionate, deeper.

“Yeah? That’s nice?” he asks, “Marry you? Take you just like this after the wedding?” 

“Yeah,” you gasp back, “Yes, Stevie.” 

“Give you a baby?” he asks in a low whisper into your skin, lips pressing against your cheek, his strong nose dragging against your cheek bone, “Give you so many babies. You want that?” 

“I want that,” you nod, face pinching while you feel yourself building up and up in a slow churn. 

“You want that?” he asks again, coming back to hover over you — tears in his eyes, “You want that with me?” 

You nod to each other while he embraces you in an old movie kiss, wrapping himself around you, pressing him to his chest while his thrusts get purposeful, controlled. 

“I love you,” he pants into your ear, “I’m yours, m’all yours.”

“I love you, too,” you rasp back, free’d fingers interlocking in his hair. He gets leverage on his knees, the leather of the couch squeaking under him while he repositions. Soft smacks of skin between you echo in the living room against the backdrop of the low stereo.   “Oh my god, Steve,” you moan out, “You’re – oh god you’re so deep.” “So deep, angel, Christ–” he huffs, trying to make a mental note of this position so he can remember it for October – really make it stick. His thought process stifled when your nails drag down his back, making his passionate thrusts quicken – a signature cocky smirk flick across his lips. “Mmm, that feels good honey?” he asks – he knows the answer. Your mouth hangs open in a silent scream, tears glazing over your eyes while he feels you pulse over him. Thank god the couch was leather. Watching you bathe in the afterglow of your orgasm he works you toward the second with ease, chasing his pleasure with each soaking thrust into you – so nice like this, so pliant – his little ragdoll. When he cums it’s deliberate, spilling inside you with your eyes on each other. You give one another breathless kisses, bodies interlocked, sticking to the couch in new found exhaustion. The phone rings. Neither of you get up to answer it. ‘BEEP. You’ve reached the Harrington residence – Did you forget my last name isn’t Harr– If you’re calling before October 1997 then it’s not just the Harrington residence yet but – whatever you know what I mean. Leave a message, we might call ya back.’

“Hey Harrington it’s Munson, um, just making sure you’re okay, man. Sorry I disappeared for a little bit there. Love you, call me back when you can. Bye.” 

thanks for reading. <3

[maranigai]

For the character meme. I love your hornsent OCs and thus wanted to know your thoughts on Messmer!

Ah, thanks for the kind words about my guys, I love them and I appreciate it so much! And what about Messmer... ho-ho, that's a tricky one. Anyways, let's go.

favorite thing about them

First of all, I have a lifelong weakness for morally ambiguous red-haired spearsmen, as sir Ornstein can confirm. But fine, that was a joke, let's get serious for a moment. The key thing for Messmer, the core of his story and his character, is love. He loves his mother - quite simple, isn't it? But in fact no, it isn't simple. Because he loves her, more than anything else in the world, more than himself. This love is bigger than any destruction and harm it brings, even to Messmer himself, this love is the reason for all things, it's the basis of all things. And Messmer can't hurt what he loves so much, he can't deny this love, he can't deny his mother, because if he does, what's next? It was everything. Literally everything. So of course he does things for her, some things that he likes, some things that he doesn't like, some things that he would never do if not her. I think I can relate with this after a fashion, but this is not what made me love his story and his character. I love it because in the end of the day that love was hollow. It wasn't enough to overcome fear, hatred and vengeance. It wasn't enough for Marika to save Messmer, and he realizes it...

least favorite thing about them

...too late. I don't believe that Messmer sympathized with the hornsent in a slightest during his crusade, but I do believe that he had his doubts that grew as time - and war - went on. I'm sure he, unlike most of the crusaders, knew the truth about the shamans, about his mother's vengeance - and his mother was everything to him, right? He had no reason to sympathize with savages capable of such horrific acts - and so he didn't, completely ignoring how horrific and savage he himself was. It was for his mother and the new civilized world she was building, so what's wrong with a little hypocrisy here? But the war went on and on and on, and the lands were shrouded in shadows, and the mother stopped answering, and Messmer and his army were left in oblivion, alone with the deserved hatered, far from everything they had fought for. Their purpose got blurred, their guidance faded, and I believe that's when Messmer began to ask himself - why? Why is he going on, why is he fighting? And he could have answered that question - but he didn't, because the answer was "there's no reason", because answering meant acknowledging that nothing he had done really mattered, that all his love and suffering was a waste. Eventually, he was not strong enough - brave enough - to admit it before his dying breath, which was too late. I can't say I dislike his ending (I'm writing it in this paragraph mainly because I'm too curious to see an alternative), but I still wish he could overcome his fear earlier, when it could still change something - though it's a FromSoft game, so obviously it's not an option given their brilliant taste in tragedy.

favorite line

It's always hard to pick favourite lines in a FromSoft game, because... idk, I just love the dialogue and the voice acting in these games. But if I had to choose, it would be...

Embrace thine oblivion, as shall I.

Just because how utterly summarizing it is, for both the character himself and for the whole Land of Shadow.

brOTP

My glorious boar-riding man Gaius! I just love how Messmer, mommy's personal machine for eradicating everything graceless, befriended artificial (!) graceless (!!) dude who was persecuted by almost everyone in the Lands Between and made him his deputy. It's also mentioned that they had common ground in that they both were cursed from birth, so their friendship seems to come from a genuine understanding of each other's struggle. In general, I think that this is an interesting adittion to Messmer's overall portrait and a bittersweet dynamic of two cursed beings finally finding understanding in one another.

OTP

Rellana, because I'm a hopeless fan of the "liege and their a bit too loyal knight" dynamic. However, I hc their relationships as unresolved/platonic because both of them put their duty in the crusade first, and it's generally not a smart move to show open love when you're surrounded by people who'd gladly take away everything you love as revenge. I also don't like it when Rellana is reduced to just Messmer's gf instead of a fearsome sorceress and military commander in her own right.

nOTP

To be honest, I have yet to see a pairing with him that would straight up frustrate me. For the most part, my reaction is just indifference. But if I had to pick one, it would probably be Godwyn/Messmer, just because there are so many so much more interesting dynamics for both of them.

random headcanon

He was the son of Radagon and Marika, born during Marika's marriage to Godfrey, and was officially recognized as a bastard (this is why he's sir Messmer and not lord Messmer). In the beginning Godfrey wasn't a big fan of him for obvious reasons, but over time their relationship became more tender; by the time of Godfrey's exile Messmer sincerely viewed him as father, even without blood relation.

unpopular opinion

I don't thing he had a close relationship with Melina - in fact, I don't think he was even aware of her existence. Fandom often portrays them as twins for some reason, but the "younger sister" can be centuries younger when we're talking about demigods - and in my hcs, she was. So no cute Melina&Messmer fanart for me.

song i associate with them

Белая гвардия - Песня рядового

I know, I know, the language and all that, but just trust me, the lyrics hits hard considering Messmer.

favorite picture of them

I really love this trailer-based art by IvyJinna

[helluvapurf]

*sips tea seeing HB "Mastermind" making its rounds*

...Sooooo, this latest episode's content definitely was... alot, in more ways than one lol .w. Don't really have the energy atm to do a full "Pros & Cons" list like my prior reviews, soooo... have some jumbled first impressions below lmao:

NOTE: Obv there'll be some spoilers ahead so do keep note of that... aaaaand like usual these ARE just my own personal thoughts at the end of the day, so *please* try to keep things civil if you disagree with anything below. Thank you. 🙏

WOO, nice to see some more Sins introduced on-screen! 🤩Satan is pretty rad with his cowboy dragon aesthetic, the sleepy sheep lady (Belphegor, I think?) looks cute, and I do like the idea of Leviathan being a two-head split creature (tho ngl, I kiiiinda wish her "pretty" half wasn't just a taller version of the Glam twins 😭 might just be the Bi in me talking hlhjk but... Viv y u so allergic to giving us pretty monster ladiessss-)

Great to see Asmodeus, Beezlebub & Mammon back all at once, and their courtroom getups were pretty cool~ 👀Loved Ozzie & Bee's lil friendship, along with Mammon being the most annoying brother-like figure to both Bee & Ozzie lmao

BLITZ'S (almost) FINAL SPEECH TO HIS WHOLE CREW PRE-EXECUTION (+requesting M&M to take care of Loona if he died), MY HEART- 😭😭❤️For all this man's flaws/past mistakes, there's NO denying how much he loves his employees & loved ones at the end of the day (& vice-versa on their ends)... hhhhh q-q

The inner-most squee I had at the Fizz cameo & his frantic worry for Blitz (+texting Ozzie to protect his best friend), aaaaaa~ TwT 💕💕 (*also semi-related side note; but YAY a lil Verosika cameo too (loving her twin-tail hairdo~), even showing fearful concern for Blitz's fate? Aww~ 🥺🩷Plsss let this be a sign her character's not completely done in terms of screentime, I'd SO love for more Blitz/Verosika bonding moments (to maybe a potential brotp forming) as he got with Fizz! 🙏🙏*)

Striker returns, yaaaay!~ 😍 ...aaaand he's mainly just there to act like a dumb grunt to Andre's plotting, oh... 😐'least his court getup's pretty snazzy though, loving the jacket~👌

Blitz + IMP finally getting to receive some hero treatments in the public (Impkind's) eye, fireworks, street celebrations, and potential new clients-included? Sweeeeet~ 👏👏

...well I'll be, Stolas actually getting some narrative consequences here?? 😲😲Standing up for Blitz's life, taking the blame for the Grimoire's misuse, accepting his punishment of the 100 year ban from his status, wealth & powers that were part of his life since forever... daaaaang, now this is some good character building here!~ 👀 Now, with such an honorable & grand gesture Stolas did for the sake of Blitz, their brief duet, and the end shot of them basically becoming roommates now that Stolas has nothing left... does this make me an official Stol*itz shipper now?? 🤩 ...Hmmmmmmmmm, nah lol 🤷‍♀️Now, okay I don't mean to sound like some negative nancy bitch or however, cause I AM proud of Stolas taking the lengths he did to protect Blitz & IMP (and now with him not having a fancy prince title anymore, this could potentially give him the chance to challenge his past privileged/classist mindset, living in the same social class as the same Imps his fellow Goetia society have long-oppressed). However, if there's anything I've learned from shows like Bojack Horseman... big grand gestures are NOT the be-all/end-all answer to proving romantic compatibility 👏👏

When it comes to any sort of relationship, romantic or otherwise... what should matter most is consistent, genuine care & support from one partner to another. And as far as we've seen from Stolas & Blitz's dynamic up til this point... imo, they really haven't had enough positive (non-sexual) bonding moments (save for stuff like their attempts at small talk at "Ozzie's", Stolas laughing at Blitz's sitcom jokes in "Seeing Stars", one photo of Blitz smiling while they slept), to justify them being some "destined-for-one-another" couple? 🤷‍♀️ Not helped by how both men were constantly avoiding & bickering at one another for most of S2 up til now... Iiiii can't be the only one who found it just a tad rushed Blitz was suddenly all "loving/domestic hubby mode🥺🥺" towards Stolas at the end... right? .w.;; Esp. in light of Stolas going through so much as he had to in one trial (+the realization of what'll become of his daughter, following said-punishment) ...he really, really shouldn't be in the mindset for tackling romance rn (at least til he continues to grow & heal better, down the line)... with OR without Blitz😔

....buuut yeah, thats just my own take on the matter; so ofc NO shade at all to those who are genuine Stolas/Stol*itz fans btw (thanks to this ep and/or previous ones), you're valid!👍👍For me, I'll still be vibing onwards with my own personal HCs/ships, so feel free to stay tuned for that if you're curious! :>

Now that we've finally got to meet Vassago upfront, Iiiii'm honestly a lil disappointed he was just... "there" in terms of plot-relevancy (even with all his previous trailer/merch hype)? .w.;; Don't get me wrong, I DO find it refreshing that Vassago's actually a nice guy, and that Stolas did have some genuine support in the Goetia society after all. But other than Vassago wholesomely cheering on Stolas by the sidelines... hmmm, I can't help feeling like not much would've changed had Vassago not been here at all, ngl 🤷‍♀️ Maaaaybe S3 might change things if he gets more spotlight there instead (esp with what I remember everyone theorizing of Vassago (possibly) becoming a 2nd love interest for Stolas .3. idk, part of me's kinda curious how that'd play out with Blitz in the picture- 🤔)?

Andrealphus's antagonist spotlight here... was fine, I guess? Idk, I can't say I've ever been too big a fan of Andre beforehand (mainly from his late-inclusion in the Stolas plot feeling a lil forced + him stealing the spotlight of what could've been interesting villain potential for Stella imo). Not to say I didn't find some of his hammy dialogue funny, along with enjoying the visuals of his ice magic... buuuut yeah, still pretty lukewarm towards him either way 🤷‍♀️could've also done without those creepy af comments about his sister as well... like bruh that in*cest shit wasn't funny the first time, whyyy keep bringing that back- 🤢

Speaking of Stella... ehhhhh, still a pretty flat character as she was in previous episodes (which I guess shouldn't be too surprising with this show's track record with female characters ngl 🤷‍♀️). Interesting to finally see an on-screen interaction with her & Octavia though (granted, not exactly on a good note given her evil smirk at the end... but I guess it does answer some HC questions I had previously of what their mother/daughter dynamic is like, hmmm... 🤔).

As for Octavia in-question... hhHHHH MY POOR BIRD CHILD T-T 💔💔Girl practically watched her greatest fears coming true (aka: Stolas abandoning her for the sake of Blitz), seeing what became of her dad on live-TV. Even if she obviously doesn't know the full story (esp with her mom & uncle pulling strings), its still SO heartbreaking when you consider her trailer sneak-peek ("You never loved Mother, you don't love me, you love him-"). And with only one episode left before S2 wraps up... ooooof, this ain't gonna be pretty ;-;

---------

-Hoooo yeah, that was alot of rambling my bad... but yeah, thats about as clear of thoughts as I have rn regarding "Mastermind". Even with some of the (admittedly) bloated cast, and some other narrative nitpicks I have with it... I'm honestly hyped to see how the upcoming finale will tie all these big plot points together! 👀🤞🤞

[bad-as-me]

Morgott for the ask meme!

hell yes my boy!!

favorite thing about them

Honestly, Morgott covers the bases for a lot of things I'm weak for in a character. I love a guy who is so single-mindedly devoted to a cause, especially one driven by a need to be loved, that the rest of the world and their own well-being falls apart in the process. Something about the inherent tragedy of someone choosing to die on a hill that nobody asked them to take on, that would really be in their better interest to let go of and start anew elsewhere, and yet you want so badly for their efforts to be rewarded in some way because you know it's all for love.

It's just so terribly romantic in a gothic sense. He reminds me so much of the description of the creature in Frankenstein: someone that tried so hard to fit himself into the image of what his maker wanted, who speaks beautifully and eloquently in contrast to his rough exterior, who boasts an intelligence and a competency that was likely learned while hidden from society. And yet we know in both situations that effort will never be reciprocated.

Also, he growls and purrs and has a giant fluffy snow leopard tail. How can I not be obsessed with him.

least favorite thing about them

His big beautiful horns are so hard to draw :'(

Honestly, he's one of those characters where even his flaws are incredibly interesting to me. I like that he refuses to give up his position of power! It's something he worked so hard for, and to his mind must be the only way he can stay safe in a world that he knows wants him dead. I like that he can't let go of the status quo! As his Great Rune tells us, Omen or not he is the rightful Lord of Leyndell. By all standards of the world they're in, he has every right to be proud of that title. And given the alternatives he's likely had presented to him (Rykard, Mohg, the Frenzied Flame), why wouldn't he believe that this stagnant existence is the best he could ask for?

He's the immovable object to our unstoppable force. There's a nobility in his commitment to that, however misguided it may be.

favorite line

"We are all forsaken. None may claim the title of Elden Lord. Thy deeds shall be met with failure, just as I..."

I love his monologue in the beginning of his fight, but the fact that this is the last thing he says just tears me apart on so many levels. It really hammers home how much of his targeted spite towards us is him projecting his own sense of failure to his lineage. He crawled all this way through the mud, gave every drop of his accursed blood for the Erdtree, and it still wasn't enough. How could we possibly have a chance when all his efforts were for naught?

No matter how many times I replay it, I always take some time just to sit next to him after he says that, listening to the rain over the capitol and the somber song of Leyndell. The city really feels like it's in mourning at that moment, all for someone they hated too much to truly understand.

brOTP

Mohg and Morgott!!! The gruesome twosome!! The dynamic duo! Every piece of art or fic that depicts them having some brotherly squabbles and shenanigans brings a little bit of life back into my eyes :')

OTP

As far as canon characters go, it's gotta be Morgott/Oleg. We love a good knight/master ship around these parts, and I think he deserved someone as devoted to protecting him as he was devoted to his cause.

Outside of that, well. I am writing an ongoing fic of Morgott and my Night's Cavalry Tarnished (who was never a Tarnished but a secret third option, but you know.) I think about them a normal amount.

nOTP

Mohg/Morgott. I just want them to have one single family relationship in their life that is remotely healthy man 😭

random headcanon

He's good with animals, and prefers the company of them to people. Most of his communication to the Night's Cavalry is through carrier falcon, but if he needs to summon them all for a meeting, he can do so with an instrument that's very similar to an Aztec death whistle.

Also, he recanted his blood through the Church of Vows. Him and Miriel have a good rapport with one another.

unpopular opinion

Respectfully, I disagree with both the "Morgott is basically the Lands Between's evangelical gay republican" take, as well as the "Morgott is a soggy baby virgin who will cry if you give him a cookie" take.

I think he is a living contradiction in a lot of ways. He is simultaneously an accursed Omen, the lowest of the low, while also having tangible evidence that he is the child of a god and of a powerful bloodline. He has held Leyndell together for more than long enough both to be aware of its corruption, and to be in a position to change it, but he can't allow himself to believe any of it needs to be changed.

He is too stuck on the idea that he needs to uphold the way things are - to prove himself "better" than his curse - to change anything. This is directly contrasting his brother Mohg, who has made an entire cult around acknowledging the unjust suffering he went through.

Like the sealing of his blood into a sword, he represses that truth, until he is so broken down that it is released all at once - painfully and without control.

Because of this, I think he would recoil at the idea of being an object of pity. He has done too much to earn a respectable position for anyone to tell him that he deserves better - even if it's true, and he should be told that.

song i associate with them

Oh god I have a whole playlist of them. But if I were to narrow it down:

Sonne by Rammstein

Momma Sed by Puscifer

Romans 10:9 by The Mountain Goats

Helvegen by Wardruna

favorite picture of them

I am not exaggerating when I say this illustration by tendermiasma re-wired my brain on a fundamental level

[nekrosmos]

*kicks in the door*

I'm here. Ask Game. Graves, go!

YEEEEEEEEEES I was hoping someone would send Graves my way, thank you Jack, mwah <33

Favorite thing about them

He's such a pathetic little man and I mean this as a compliment. Such high energy, so fruity, his texan accent ??? I'm so weak for a texan accent, so yeah that got me immediately. Also he's a yapper.

Least favorite thing about them

The war crimes 💔

Favorite line

"Ghost, that is not nice." I quote this one on a daily basis.

"Soap, you missed me? Well, technically you did, didn't you?" not being far behind.

brOTP

This fucker was getting along so well with Soap before the betrayal 💔 Now he doesn't deserve a BROTP

OTP

I ship him with an OC of mine 👉​👈​Their name is Aedeus, they're basically a femme fatale but make it transfem, and they top the life out of him <3 They're all I've been thinking about for months, their dynamic is so good teehee

Other than that, I love Graves and his Shadows. A lot.

nOTP

Graves / Soap is not my thing at all but work

Random headcanon

He's very much Bi in my mind but somehow still gives "supportive straight guy" energy. He's a little confused sometimes but he's got the spirit.

Also he's a greedy little guy and loves money way too much

Unpopular opinion

If I see another "Graves is actually homophobic and misogynist" headcanon, I will pass away

Song I associate with them

Don't have one for him specifically, but for him and my OC, I've got Joyride by Kesha :3c

Favorite picture of them

I know the second one is just his actor dressed as him but I don't care I'm obsessed with it

[artisticwizard]

Morgott for the ask meme

Favorite thing about them

I'm gonna try and keep rehashing of what has already been said about him to a minimum so I'll get it out of the way here. I love that he's big and soft and I love that he's a mean as shit crotchety old bastard with both a self-hating attitude and an ego. I did not get into elden ring intending to like him. He was a surprise blorbo for me. I love how Morgott is a proud creature and a scorned one all in the same time. To be honest, look around at any of the posts I've reblogged from people for this ask and I probably agree with 90% of their points. I think my favorite thing is the art people make around him. Every time someone draws him being soft and tender....He's so large next to their small tarnished and yet he holds them like glass....I'm gonna DIE

Least favorite thing about them

Hard to draw :( Also hard to roleplay :( Also I wish he was utilized more. hunting us in game alongside the nights cavalry. Wish his fight was a bit tougher too.

Favorite line

"Have it writ upon thy meagre grave:

"'Felled by King Morgott! Last of all kings." ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT LINE IS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER. In one sentence he disparages you as insignificant and elevates him as king. Not just King THE LAST. This lineage will die with him, this he states. And I think he's actually giving you credit here. This lineage will die with him, whether you are the one to kill him or you fail.

brOTP

I gotta go with his actual bro. I like the dichotomy between him and Mohg so much it makes me ill. I love how Mohg went full self love and Morgott went the other direction. This is one of the instances where I think fandom rather than canon has elevated their relationship so much for me. Especially fic writers. Elden ring fic writers write these two so goddamn well.

OTP

Morgott and the Tarnished. Everyone's Tarnished. People write and draw and create so many wonderful things around this old man. I also have a soft spot from him and Oleg. My Tarnished Wulfwyn and him is my brainrot OC x Canon ship that I think about CONSTANTLY.

nOTP

Him and Mohg. Even in a setting like this where incest is more normalized, it's just never gonna be my thing. No hate.

Random headcanon

You also get a Mohg headcanon built in. I've always loved the idea that Omen can take on traits of different animals, not just the horns. In my head Morgott took on more mammalian traits like ram-like horns, a long tail, and fur. Though I will not deny him his tiny baby wings. Mohg on the other hand took in more reptilian and avian traits like pebbled skin or scales and feathers and wings.

Unpopular opinion

Some people have this kind of....kicked puppy attitude about him that I don't agree with. He's soooo shitty and bitter as a character and he enjoys hunting Tarnished like he does. I'm not saying he's the cruelest demigod in the story, because he isn't by far, but I wish people didn't ignore his mean streak as much because it's soooo interesting.

Favorite picture of them Oh Dude So Many. This one by bora-in-tamriel makes me laugh whenever I see it, though.

[untildawn-secretsanta]

2024 Posting Guidelines

You have all day of December 23rd, 2024 to post your gifts (12:01AM MT until 11:59PM MT)!

If you need an extension, I will grant them without question, just let me know as soon as you suspect you may need one.

If you don't receive your gift by the end of the day, you can reach out to me the next day. I will do my best to contact people in advance if the person making their gift requests an extension.

General (applies to all):

Create a post on tumblr.

State the name of the individual your gift is for and be sure to TAG THEM.

Include whether you chose to work with the individual’s OTP, BROTP, or Favourite Character.

Use the specific guidelines for your gift (see below).

At the bottom of your post, be sure to TAG @untildawn-secretsanta. If you are unable to tag me (because tumblr does that sometimes), make sure you DM the post to me as I need to be able to find it.

Use the following hashtags: “#until dawn” “#until dawn secret santa 2024” “#udss2024” as well as the relevant ship and character tags (ex. “#Chrashley” “#Matthew Taylor” “#Climbing Class” “#Jossam”). If you are unsure about a character’s full name, or a ship name, let me know. You are welcome to add any other hashtags that you like, but those ones MUST be included.

PLEASE double check to ensure that your gift meets the requirements and follows the creation rules (I will include them below the cut on this post as a refresher).

Fanfiction:

If your gift is primarily written material, follow these steps while posting:

Complete the general guidelines.

Upload your gift to the fanfiction website of your choosing. If you are unable to upload to a fanfiction website, you may also use Google Docs which will allow you to use a shareable link, or you can post directly to tumblr. (If you use Google Docs, please make sure that your settings won’t allow someone else to come in and edit your work.)

DO NOT POST THE FULL WRITTEN PIECE ONTO TUMBLR WITHOUT A "READ MORE" CUT. I will not reblog long posts as they can be overwhelming! If you absolutely cannot upload anywhere else, you MUST use tumblr’s “Read More”.

Create a quick (three to five sentences) teaser or choose a snippet of the story to post to tumblr.

Below the teaser/snippet, be sure to include a link to the full story. It would be after this point that you would add the “Read More…” with the rest of the story, ONLY if you cannot upload elsewhere.

(Optional) If you have a cover, include that image on tumblr.

Images (Including Fanart and Gifs):

If your gift is an image OR a series of images (fanart/gifs for this exchange), follow these steps while posting:

Complete the general guidelines.

Upload your image(s) to tumblr.

In the caption, provide a quick explanation of the image (ex. “Since you listed your OTP as Chris and Ashley, I drew them drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace.”)

If you are planing posting from a blog URL that is different than the one you are participating under (using an art sideblog, for example), please let me know.

These guidelines are created to be a base for your post. You are welcome to add anything in addition to what was stated above, and you are always welcome to contact me should you require clarification on anything. Have fun creating!

Creation rules for a refresher below the cut:

CREATION RULES

Gifts are not to be posted (in part or in full) ANYWHERE until the exchange date (December 23rd).

CONTENT WARNINGS:

If you are creating anything with gore/body horror, please anonymously double check with your gift recipient to make sure they're okay with that!

Anything NSFW shouldn't be taken further than what the game does. We all know Jess' iconic monologue outside of the guest cabin, and I'd say that's about as far as it should go dialogue-wise. In terms of fanart, you can ask with me if you're unsure. This has never really been an issue in previous years, so I'm not too worried about it. I don't want to censor things super harshly, so if you have any concerns/questions, just ask!

CREATION MINIMUMS:

Word count minimum is 2000 WORDS

Art is a little tricky to create a minimum for, but try to put at least 3 hours into your piece. You want to present a finished drawing to your recipient! No sketches/super rough drawings, please.

OTHER:

Something I would like to touch on is the use of the W word. I think that if we are going to be celebrating Until Dawn, the least we could do is show respect by retiring the use of that word in our fanfic and fanart (many of you already mentioned this in your notes). Instead, I would like to recommend terms like monster/creature instead.

Also, please be careful to not whitewash Josh! Some photo references from the game can make him look pretty pale, so I recommend taking a look at photos of Rami Malek as well!

MODERATION STUFF: I'm currently heading home to see family and friends I haven't seen in months, so I'll be keeping busy and enjoying time with them over the next few weeks. Please be patient, and understand that I won't always be available. 🙏 If you don't hear back from me for over 24 hours, please send a gentle follow up! I have a lot of DMs on the go with all of you right now, so there is a chance that things may get lost. As always, any general questions about the exchange should be posted in ⁠#help in the Discord server.

‼️IF YOU ONLY READ ONE THING, LET IT BE THIS: IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO FINISH YOUR GIFT, LET ME KNOW ASAP!!! DON'T HIDE BECAUSE THEN I CAN'T CONTACT A BACK-UP AND YOUR GIFTEE MAY NOT GET A GIFT‼️

[homkamiro]

I LOVE THE TF2 MLP AU SM. it gives me sm nostalgia to when i was a kid and i and everyone in the fandom made pony aus of franchises we liked- im so happy cringe is dead and tradition is alive 🥹

ALSO THE INFECTION AU POST. GOOD SHIT;!;!!!!!!!!!! gore and body horror are inseparable from (hopefully only the mature part of) the mlp fandom and i felt so giddy jumping for joy kicking my feet up seeing that it had a resurgence!! Your post of this au with your tf2 ponies was my introduction to it!!! Nature is healinggggg

That post is BOMB. WE GOT: 1) HEAVYMEDIC ANGST. 2) PYRO & ENGIE ANGST. 3) BOOTS & BOMBS ANGST. 4) DADSPY ANGST. 5) SNIPER ANGST. ITS GIVING💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 and the way the disease spreads differently for all of them is so creative!!!!!! Engie wants to sever the infected body part but cant cus its on his back and he needs medics help for that (and med is way too far gone to do any operation), and scout doesn't want his wings severed even tho that would save him cus he still wants to fly!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also soldier misinterpreting the request is so good. And pyro wanting to help but not being allowed to cus they'd try to burn engie. Demo drinking himself to death cus he cant handle seeing his friend in the state that he's in. Sniper disappearing cus he wants to be with his parents during this horrible time even tho they have a strained relationship. Spy wanting his son to live through this so much that he's planning to sever his wings himself. And heavyyyyyy. Heavy breaking his heart everyday still taking care of medic knowing he's going to have to kill the love of his life soon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyways sorry for fuckin. Screaming in your asks and basically just repeating what you wrote sgjdjd. I just really love this au (and especially that comic with scout, medic and engie!!!) and the infection au post made me so nostalgic to the early days of the mlp fandom that the adhd went mental and i had to shout about it lol- feel free to not respond to this! Youre awesome! Keep doing you!!!!!!

(also youre really good at drawing gore????? Hello teach me pls)

WHAT A BIG FEEDBACK OHMYGODヽ⁠(⁠(⁠◎⁠д⁠◎⁠)⁠)⁠ゝ

Anyway I'm really super puper glad you liked my au!! I was a little hesitant to post it, since AU in AU sounds weird but I'm glad I thought otherwise - cringe culture should be dead!! Mix your hyperfixations it's good for your health!!!

AND AHHHHGGGGGH You noticed so many details thankyouuu🥺💗💗💗The best thing about this AU is that every ship and brotp can work so well in this story. Engie first helping Medic but then ending up being also infected??? Spy checking up on Engie and making him eat since he's too stressed to take a break??? Demo, Heavy and Pyro comforting each other after loosing their friends??? Spy and Scout both raging on Sniper for leaving like a coward??? Or maybe Heavy, as an earth pony, comforts Scout after he just got his wings amputated??? So many possibilities!!

Don't worry, I love when people are noticing all the details and just get,, really invested into my stuff, it really brings me joy and you made my day so much better!!🥺🥺I feel honestly a little insecure, since my pony designs and thoughts may not be the best, but I'm glad that so many people still like my mlp×tf2 stuff!! It's really endearing to know that finally something I like making is also likable to you!

About gore -- I have no idea😭I love gore but it's a pain to draw properly and scary, you'd need practice and references (I mostly use art references since yknow,,,real photos can make me sick)

[fumifooms]

Marchil crumbs part 5

Part 1 - Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

The anime has come and since I have my shipping goggles on I am going to notice so much. This part will be less spoilery for anime onlys (tho if you want to see me talk about why I ship them and why they’re complementary this is not a good part to start with haha). Edit: After completing this part I can confirm it’s fully anime-onlys friendly and spoiler-free! For manga veterans though there are still some fun tidbits to be found, some recontextualisations and new extra content.

Holy shit guys they’re mirroring each other in the mural and reaching out to each other AND looking towards each other?!!!! Their pose is so striking and like perfectly align?! Which means it was so intentional and the staff wanted to highlight them (for an aesthetic and/or narrative purpose I’m sure but it happened)! I will never let this go we won so fucking hard let’s goooooo we are so back

Character foils!! Dynamic duo!!

Soulmates!!

In the opening at 1:16 he looks at her to see if she’s really going to it as the most critical of monster food & muster up courage to dig into it himself lmao… "Marcille doesn’t look too grossed out, she’s picky so this food must be fine then" Aka treating her as a poison taster/good cuisine judge lmao

Doodle from the animation director (source). I should translate it but I’m procrastinating on it so uh director’s brotp? Anyways they hanging out look at them :]

Laios is thinking to himself there (he’s the one saying the subs), and in the meantime Marcille and Chilchuck talk, likely figuring out the money situation. Strategizing duo back at it again not wasting a second

In the beginning of ep 1, when Marcille is rambling about where they could go to get food and what to grab, Chilchuck listens with a big smile & even closes his eyes as they walk. The implication is that he’s thinking about food, but man the scene hits different now that it’s voiced and I remember that indeed Chilchuck is closing his eyes to her voice and enjoying hearing her talk and ramble. I may be too far gone into the marchil pit

I feel like already they’ve come far from when Chilchuck dreaded being alone with Shuro and Marcille, waiting for the Toudens and Namari to arrive.

Ok this might actually be smth I’m gonna complain about but I feel like blushes have been drawn too vividly so far. Why does Chilchuck look like he’s confessing when he tells her she’s not a burden and he didn’t mean to make her feel that way. It almost comes across as "Woah she cares what I think?" 💀 The banter ensuing is of course also great

Ep 2 was an episode centered on them both that had the "Magic/Traps are my domain, don’t interfere!" parallel… And now with ep 3 we’re back to them being haters together. That’s her emotional support man

In ep 4, it doesn’t show well with a screenshot but when Senshi talks about his unmanned vegetable stand with a treasure chest, while in the manga Marcille and Chilchuck both think the same thing, "That’s why that treasure chest akways had money in it…", but in the anime instead they literally finish each other’s thought. Talk about being on the same wavelength.

Ep 5 is a marchil goldmine actually, it showcases perfectly how much of a package deal they are lol. Always sticking close to each other. Glancing at each other during meals… They literally nod at each other before they try a bite to steel themselves. They exchange a serious thoughtful glance when Laios talks about Falin truly being gone atm. They argue a bit but they go right back to sitting right next to each other after the meal <3 My god I can’t deal with them they are so…… "Hate this bitch, not my friend" 3 secs later "Heyy bestie!!" Also he’s worried he brought her mood down after mentioning Falin. Made a post about ep 5 collecting even more screenshots.

Episode 6 my hero my beloved… Again I made a post about the ep collecting all my screenshots here, and even a clip! But this IS the marchil crumbs masterpost thus I must collect the major ones here as well. First of all, fun staff drawings for the first screening!

I already posted a screenshot from the trailer of when Chil had his head on his knees sitting next to her, but after seeing episode 5 I think it’s a fun and interesting trend to notice that they sit next to each other way unnecessarily close wow. They continue to banter a ton, she continues to be very casual with touch, and they’re really cute! I love just how much Marcille blushed damn- It’s really cute too when you remember with the bicorn chapter that Chilchuck teases Marcille BECAUSE he enjoys getting a rise out of her, flustering her and seeing her reactions. I support the teasing -> laughing because her reaction is over the top all-Chilchuck economy. Also she apologizes for having let him go alone and be gone for so long by helping him with sewing his cowl… Cuties

She looked so happy when he opened up about his age!… And then seemed… Disappointed? When he "truly was just a kid". "So you really are a kid! How boring…" This implies that her intent was to tease him for funsies… Ok lads we reached 30 pics see you next post, I’m gonna cover the "wake up clumsy head" manga-anime differences and we’re gonna go back to our usual spoilers yummy schedule.

Here’s Marcille cosplaying as a succubus in the newest Daydream Hour… She may not be a half-foot or have deep-set eyes but let’s be real I think he’d explode

part 6 here!!

[rocicrew]

clarissa mao !!

send me a character and i’ll list

favorite thing about them

she's the definition of poor little meow meow. i love her complexities and flaws. she's a rich spoiled heiress, she has enormous family issues. she tried to kill the family she would die for. redemption arcs in my opinion are not always well written but clarissa's does it for me.

she doesn't shy away from the fact that she has done terrible things for selfish reasons (when you look at it in the grand scheme of things). and while the way her father treated her explains her motivations, they are not excused by it. it is her who decides the person she was is gone, and she's going to spend her second chance making up for the things she'd done. it's honest and raw, and her arc shows that people do improve and change when they receive external support and build meaningful relations. while at the same time it says, some things cannot be amended. you can never bring someone back, but you can try to be good.

she is the subversion of the redemption achieved by one last good Deed or Sacrifice. by the time that happens, she's made peace with herself, with the consequences of her actions and it is a choice for the people she loves while she stops delaying the unavoidable.

least favorite thing about them

i find the lack of not revisiting her complicated relationship with julie a Crime. what do you mean after fighting alongside and joining the crew that found her sister, she would not understand her sister's motivation or want some closure re her death?

(tv wise: girl you Have the worst timing in s6. holden is falling asleep on the railing and you think ah a great time to revisit the horrible acts i did to kill him)

(additional sidenote: nothing more meaningful comes to mind at the moment, at least not something i can articulate well so...)

favorite line

Which meant Naomi had misunderstood. Clarissa had meant, I'm not afraid.

10000000/10 on the pain scale this line continues to haunt me. what an epilogue for her im-

(also her exchange with erich on the shuttle about letting people in their tribes without demanding that they prove they need them, and ending it with her prison sentence,,,,,,,,,, i'm rolling on the floor each time)

brOTP

is there any other answer between clarissa and amos ? i personally cannot see their relations as anything other than platonic with deep devotion. they saw each other's worst parts and decided there's good in there even if they can't quite see it in their own selves at times.

they're mirrors but also kind of foils at the same time ?? amos is never afraid while clarissa is all the time,,, let's not be monsters together,, i want to be there in your last moments,,, ah yeahh

OTP

i do not truly ship her with anyone. i can speculate about romantic dynamics, but it's not super far in the Shipping category. i do think she and bobbie would make out in the roci tho

nOTP

is kind of answered in the previous two ? i do not see her and amos' relationship being romantic (except maybe in the roci polycule kind of thing, which i'm still more drawn to the idea of her and bobbie or a complicated relationship with naomi)

random headcanon

i'm not sure how random it is, because it is a nickname she has in canon. but i personally hc that the roci crew over time begins to call her claire after babylon's ashes. peaches is primarily amos' nickname for her and it feels a step too far to use it. so claire is still a way to signal her new path.

i also believe she's a lesbian tbh

unpopular opinion

i have not seen too many opinions on her. i know a lot of people were put off of her in s3, (i have to say she grew on me later as well) but i can now say that she was Unhinged (in a compliment way)

also i think that there's a tendency for her to be portrayed a bit meek in the time after she's joined the roci crew which is the last way i'd personally describe her. she's quiet and reserved, yes, insecure about her place in that family, but she's also blunt and takes risks and has been shown to be incredibly intelligent and capable. and i think it takes away from her character with all her flaws.

song i associate with them

nothing comes to mind rn, i am also terrible at this kind of associations. always one or two lyrics throw me off.

favorite picture of them

the scene she's introduced, first up close and then the shot of her from behind with the navigation map of the maintenance shutte does thinks to the gifmaker side of me (if only the lighting wasn't so yellow)

[princesssarisa]

Characters ask: 12 dancing princesses

Favorite thing about them: The beautiful, romantic imagery of all the princesses venturing into a magical subterranean land where the trees are made of silver, gold, and diamonds, and then dancing through the night with mysterious handsome princes. I like the imagery better than the story itself.

Least favorite thing about them: That they let all the princes who try to discover their secret be beheaded. It's no wonder that retellings tend to omit this part and just have the failed princes either sent away in disgrace or imprisoned instead.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I like parties and music.

*I tend to be a freedom-seeker.

*I'm in no hurry to marry.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not a very good dancer.

*I would never let even one man be beheaded just so I could attend secret parties, let alone many men.

*I don't have any sisters, let alone eleven.

Favorite line:

From the Faerie Tale Theatre version, these quotes from the eldest princess Jeanetta:

"I have no patience for hearts and flowers and young men who brag about this victory and that. There's more to life than romance."

“The man of my dreams is a prince among men.”

brOTP: Each other.

OTP: Well, I hope the eldest sister will be happy in her marriage to the soldier, and I hope the others eventually find the right princes.

nOTP: Their father.

Random headcanon: For the Faerie Tale Theatre version, where all the characters are more sympathetic than in the Grimms' tale, I like @ariel-seagull-wings' headcanon that the princesses' parents were Cinderella and her Prince, now King. The eldest princess looks especially like their mother – since in this version she's played by Lesley Ann Warren, the 1965 Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella – and they've all inherited her love of ballroom dancing. But since Cinderella died, her grieving husband has become overprotective of his daughters, leading to the plot.

Unpopular opinion: I don't mind the fact that this tale is so rarely adapted, because it's not a particular favorite of mine, mainly because the ending falls flat. We never learn who the mysterious dancing princes were; there's just a vague statement at the end implying that they're under a curse, and that it's extended as their punishment for having danced with the princesses, but with no explanation of who cursed them or how they suffer from it. The princesses never redeem themselves for having caused so many men's deaths – at least in other stories with similar plot points, like Turandot, the princess has a transformative "learning to love" moment which is missing here. The eldest princess is married to the soldier as his reward, with no choice for her and no sense of romance, and this is portrayed as a happy ending, even though she and her sisters were willing to kill him rather than be forced to marry him.

So far, every adaptation I've seen has been an improvement, IMHO. First and foremost by removing the "every man who fails to learn the princesses' secret is beheaded" plot point, secondly by giving the soldier an actual romance arc with the eldest princess, and thirdly by changing the ending or at least giving it more depth. My introduction to the story was the anime Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics, where the princes turn out to be disguised demons luring the princesses to their doom, and the soldier fights them off and helps the princesses escape, earning the eldest princess's love by doing so. That twist might be melodramatic, but at least it gives the story a proper climax and emotional payoff. Then there's the Faerie Tale Theatre version, where the princes are dream figures created by the princesses in a magic ritual, and where the princesses' nightly outings are sympathetic, because their overprotective father needs to learn to let them grow up, go dancing, and meet young men in their own world. That's a good alternative too. (I don't have anything to say about the Barbie version because I've never seen it.) Basically, I think it's a story with great potential, but which needs adaptation expansion.

Song I associate with them: None.

Favorite picture of them:

This illustration by Elenore Abbott:

This illustration by Kay Nielsen:

These illustrations by Erroll Le Cain:

This illustration by P.J. Lynch:

These illustrations by Ruth Sanderson:

These illustrations by Kinuko Craft:

[shigayokagayama]

OH I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT. MS SUZUKI TOO IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR HER

Sexuality Headcanon:

hmmmm i can see her having bisexual swag

Gender Headcanon:

prolly just cis

A ship I have with said character:

i dont think this counts as a ship but i really would be SO interested in seeing how she and toichiro met precanon and what their relationship was like because from the info we got it feels like toichiro started normal and slowly got worse. what happened.

A BROTP I have with said character:

i think her and serizawa being friends could actually be really interesting. like damn that shit was crazy. anyway. wanna go for brunch.

A NOTP I have with said character:

her and toichiro post canon i just think itd be better for both of them if they just. didnt. like sometimes you go too far and permanently ruin a relationship that was important to you and you just have to live with that.

A random headcanon:

i feel like when she left claw she tried to take shou with her and he insisted on staying, at first just because toichiro was the parent he looked up to most and then as the years progressed it became more of a "i have to be the one to bring him back" complex that she could only watch.

General Opinion over said character:

i think shes really interesting and im so fucking sick of the vaguely misogynistic reading of her character as a bad mother who did something awful and unforgivable by abandoning her son with an absuive man (even though they never give toichiro half as much shit) like. if we are assuming that toichiro was abusive to them (which. i really REALLY think that wd arc was the first time he raised a hand against shou because that being the moment shou realizes his father is too far gone makes it way more impactful than it being a regular occurrence). is the implication she should have stayed with her abuser for her kid's sake. really think about what youre saying here.

[maranigai]

Do you still accept characters for that ask meme? I saw you only answered an ask about Messmer so far! How about Morgott for that ask meme? (not sure if asking DS characters counts since like 80% of info about them has to be manually hallucinated by the fan themselves, but I can if that's okay with you!)

Yep, I'm still doing character ask meme, Messmer simply was the only ask for me by now lol Also DS characters are fine too, of course they would be like 95% headcanon based, but that's why we love DS, isn't it?

But anyway, Morgott. My absolutely favourite of favourites of all ER characters...

favorite thing about them

First of all, Morgott is such a beautifully contradictory character. He's a demigod shardbearer and a cursed being, a proud monarch and a monster in his own eyes, a defender of all that is holy and a warlock shrouded in illusions. And all these things are actually logical and completely understandable given his story. Because, above everything else, Morgott is a broken creature, not as a result of his own deeds or guilts, but because of the things beyond his control, some ancient sins and crimes he's not aware of, some old vengeance that existed even before he was born. And this break, this pain, is a spiral, you know? Morgott hates his nature because he was convinced he's a monster, he supports the system that oppresses him because he believes that he's oppressed rightfully and this system is the best remaining option for the world as a whole, even if he and people like him have to suffer for it, and in doing so he causes even more harm, more oppression and misery for himself and everyone around. I love how he's a loyal, determined, faithful person, and this is exactly what makes him a villain in the story. He's an extremely tragic character, but completely consistent in his tragedy, his brokenness, and I have a deep weakness for broken things.

least favorite thing about them

I don't think there's anything I don't like about him as a character, I mean, he's certainly not flawless, but his flaws are what make him so interesting in the first place. So I say that my least favourite thing is his bossfight. Don't get me wrong, Morgott is one of my favourite FromSoft bosses in general, but I have a feeling that they made his moveset (super-complex and interesting) first, then remembered he's a mandatory mid-game boss and panicked to balance him to this level by drastically reducing his damage and hp.

favorite line

May the curse seep to thy very soul.

I just love his spiteful tone in this one, sorry.

brOTP

I could write Mohg or Godwyn here and it would be legit, but allow me to be more exotic this time and mention Malenia. They have many things in common, if you think about it: two cursed, yet somewhat noble beings, bitterly determined and endlessly loyal to their masters of choice. I can absolutely see how they can respect and understand each other, even if not sharing each other's cause. I also love the idea of a young, sick, not-yet-swordmaster Malenia and her Cool Big Brother Morgott, the only person around who takes her seriously.

OTP

Banished knight Oleg. Literally the mix of my favourite tropes of "liege and their a bit too loyal knight" and "my majestic, scheming wife and me, committing whatever crimes she wants me to commit today". Also Oleg dies before Morgott, so my inner angst enjoyer appreciates this as well.

nOTP

Mohg! I just can't see them as a pairing, their sibling relationships is everything to me. I'm also not a fan of Tarnished/Morgott, mainly because most of such arts/fics imply some level of self-indulgence and this just doesn't work for me (though I've seen several very cool works with this pairing too).

random headcanon

Three for the price of one: Morgott's hobby is creating clockwork automatons (a more detailed post about this hc); his favourite half-sibling is Malenia and this is mutual; he also shares Mohg's sense of fashion, but refuses to admit it.

unpopular opinion

While most people hc Morgott to be the elder twin, in my hcs he's the younger one (and the youngest of Godfrey's sons). Ironically enough, this isn't an important headcanon for Morgott himself, but it's an essential part of my perception of Godwyn and (especially) Mohg.

song i associate with them

Мельница - Что ты знаешь

My personal theme song for Morgott as the Veiled Monarch.

favorite picture of them

There're so many cool arts of Morgott that it's really hard to choose the most favourite one lol

So for now I pick this one by Cruentum_Noctis