#bros just like ��”hey barbie look at this!

[breadwithoutcheesefan1009]

I want Barbie to find out that everything’s fake and to be having a mental breakdown and then Ken comes out of nowhere and starts doing rollerblade tricks to cheer her up

[octuscle]

InstaMorph

InstaMorph was not actually supposed to be released in the AppStores. The beta test phase was not even close to being completed. But somehow the app had ended up in the stores. And even though it was an insider tip, an active user community quickly developed. Very few users were probably aware that what the app did was not just digital…

The way it worked was simple: people used Instagram as normal. But the comments were exclusively visible to Instamorph users. And the comments changed what you saw in the posts. Digitally. But also in the real world!

Steven and Ronald were not at all happy about being photographed by a magazine photographer on their way to the opera. Ronald's father, the two of them, was already thinking about calling him to file a lawsuit for violation of personal rights. By that time, the picture of the two of them had long been online with the caption “Young opera fans on their way to a glamorous premiere”. This sealed their fate.

The 2 of dem r quite kawaii, but they look liek they have a sticc up their ass

yea, a lil looser wud b dope.

the 2 of dem lacc the rite cocky attitude. The tuxedo is dope, but u have 2 fill it out

send deez 2 bacc 2 school! they need 2 mor yrs of lyfe experience. And they shud get it @ the gym

whomst the hell goes 2 an opera premiere? a movie premier wud b much cooler!

Steven and Ronald got dizzy. “Bro, do you also have the feeling that we've overdone it in training?” Steven asked his buddy. He gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Dude, you know you look even better in a tuxedo when you've pumped up your chest and biceps!”

Somehow still far 2 clean!

wat kinda movie premier is dis supposed 2 b? looks totally lame

wdy think of the red carpet @ a boxing match?

lit idea! and deez 2 r such fighters!

lit muscles and dope tattoos. Tht wud b poggers!

Their tuxedos vanished into thin air. Their hairstyles screamed “boy from the slums”. School education? Manners? The two of them became full-on jocks from the boxing gym!

“That's it!” “Let the muscles play!” “Give me a killer smile!” “Come on, do a double bicep pose!” Steve and Ron knew the drill. The camera loved them. And they loved the camera. Sure, they needed to work well together. Their business as personal trainers and fitness influencers could only remain successful if they were not only present on their own channels. An appearance like this before a boxing match was important for their image. And that's why they walked the red carpet half naked at 10 degrees Celsius with nipples as hard as steel.

I find dem boring

u name it, interchangeable liek barbie's ken

what if they wer older?

damn, thats a lit idea! such lit muscle daddies

silver foxes made flesh

hey, muscle dilf! show meh ur magnificent cock!

Steve and Ron smiled at the photographers and struck a pose. Most of the youngsters could have been their sons. Although, if they were their sons, the first question would have been who the mother should have been. Shit, they'd never stuck their cocks in a wet cunt. They were both into concrete asses and steel hard cocks. And apart from that, they would have beaten the sissies to the gym on the edge of the red carpet as teenagers. Steve and Ron were icons in the fitness scene. The two had already made a fortune with fitness videos and nutritional supplements before the word 'influencer' had even been invented. The two were in high spirits at the opening of the 100th branch of their Boxing Gym chain. It was going to be a great party. And plenty of fresh meat begging to be fucked by them according to all the rules of the art. Such bodies in combination with so much experience in bed could only be offered by these two. And the boys stood in line at attention for that.

[training4theapocalypse]

Thirsty (Adrian Chase x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: SMUT, Mutual pining, Romance, Canon typical descriptions of murder and violence, Dubious consent (they are both kind of drunk), Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Safe sex (male condom), Multiple orgasms

Summary: Your job restocking vending machines takes you to businesses all over Evergreen - including Fennel Fields where the cute busboy keeps making eyes at you. (Based on this ask by @kpopgirlbtssvt)

A/N: There’s a part where Adrian picks the reader up over his shoulder but he is a very strong boi, I am confident he could shoulder carry any thirsty MF. PS My toxic trait is that I slip a reference to Scotland in literally everything I write.

Masterlist

Tag list: @likeficsinthewnd, @she-wolf09231982,

Chapter text:

The muscles in your forearms ache as you drag your hand cart, stacked with cases of soda and water, up the ramp at the back of Fennel Fields. 

You wheel your final delivery of the day straight into their break room, as usual, and park your cart beside the vending machine, ready to start your restock. You’re greeted amicably by the staff, who know you well enough that they’re not surprised to see you. 

But one particularly familiar face spots you from across the room and practically leaps off his chair. Adrian Chase looks forward to your weekly trip to Fennel Fields, and today he can’t help but notice the glow on your face from hauling your delivery. He wonders what else makes your face glow like that. He bets he could.

“Hey, stranger,” you say, and he blinks at you as if snapping out of something.

“Stranger? It’s me, Adrian.”

You grin. You can’t tell if he’s joking or not but either way, you find it sort of cute. And, yes, Taylor warned you to stop flirting with the hot but kind of dorky busboy because he’s gonna end up catching feelings, but there’s something fun about getting him all flustered and making his cheeks burn.

“I know, Adrian. I could never forget that pretty face,” you tease. He turns slightly pink. There it is. “Thirsty?” you ask.

“Yup, and wait til you see what I got you.”

This has been your routine at Fennel Fields for a few months now. You pick up some speciality soda while you’re delivering beverages across Washington and Adrian brings you something- usually a snack or anything else he thinks you might like.

“Three… two… one.” At the same time, you pull the soda out from your bag and Adrian hands you a small, blue rectangular box.

A cassette tape. Aqua- Aquarium. 

“Adrian! This is so sick- it’s so hard to find tapes these days.” You flip it over to read the tracklist. “I fucking love Barbie Girl.”

“Me too! And I noticed your Walkman, so I thought you could use some more music.” He looks down at the orange and blue soda can in his hands, reading the label. “IRN BRU?”

“This is the weirdest soda I’ve found yet. It’s like bubblegum cream soda but it burns.”

He cracks it open, takes a sip and looks confused. “I think I like it?” He takes another sip. “It’s like my mouth hates it but needs more.”

“I know, right?” You put the cassette in your bag and open the vending machine.

“Thanks for the soda.” He nods at your tired arms as you start loading in your delivery. “Sick forearm pump, by the way.”

“Uh, what?”

“Yeah! You can totally tell you’ve been working on them- they’re huge.”

You raise an eyebrow. It’s probably meant as a compliment, but you’re not sure how you feel about Adrian talking to you like you’re one of his bros at the gym. 

“I mean- not huge! Like normal. But nice. And-“

“Have you seen Taylor?” You decide to step in before he can dig this particular hole any deeper. “I need him to sign for this.”

“What’s up, Cuz?” Taylor appears from around a corner. 

You hold out your electronic POS and stylus, awaiting his signature. “Just need you to sign this, then I’m done for the night.”

“Nice!” says Adrian “You got any plans after this?”

“Depends on who’s asking,” you tease him, a small balloon swells up in your chest with excitement. You’ve never been sure whether Adrian’s always so excited to see you because he likes you or if he just really likes soda. 

“Uh, me,  Adrian. Remember?”

“Hey man, what did I tell you about hitting on my cousin?” Taylor gives him a stern look. “Don’t you have a pregnant girlfriend to be worried about?”

You’re surprised, to say the least. The fact that Adrian has a girlfriend (a pregnant one at that) but he still goes out of his way to exchange gifts with you every week is kind of disappointing. It reaffirms your belief that there are no decent men in this town.

“Yes! I mean, no. We, uh, we broke up.”

“Because of the party you tried to throw her?” asks Taylor.

Aw, that’s kind of sweet.

“Uh, yeah, she did not appreciate the abortion party.”

What the fuck?

Taylor signs for the delivery and hands you back the device, giving you a meaningful look- I told you so. The balloon of excitement in your chest feels well and truly punctured.

“But I mean, I’m not hung up on her or anything. I actually dumped her.”

Yup, no decent men alright.

You and Taylor exchange glances. You can practically hear the wet raspberry of the balloon deflating completely. 

“I’d better go. Thanks for the tape, dude,” you say a little more coolly than you’d intended in your hurry to hide your dismay before wheeling your cart out of the break room.

“Hey, let me help you with that,” Adrian’s voice calls from behind you, but Taylor grabs the door before he can.

“I got it, man.” 

Taylor walks with you to the van. You lean up against the cab door in exasperation. Taylor offers you a cigarette which you go to accept, but he retracts the packet.

“Nuh-uh, let’s hear it first.”

“Fine,” you sigh. “You are so full of wisdom, as always, and I will forever heed your dating advice from now until the end of time,” you concede to Taylor, snatching a cigarette. He grins and lights you both up.

“Y’know what the weird thing is? I don’t think he ever had a girlfriend.”

You exhale a puff of smoke in surprise. “What was that about then?”

“I dunno. I caught him out here celebrating one night, and he made up a weird abortion party story. I think he was really out here dancing because Peacemaker came into the restaurant-“

“Peacemaker?! Jeez, isn’t that guy in jail?”

“Musta released him. But I think Adrian was being an excited fanboy and got embarrassed when I saw him. Dude’s a serial liar- I thought he’d come clean if I asked him about it in front of you.”

You lean your head back against the van. “Where are all the decent men in Evergreen?” You lament and start rhyming off, counting on your fingers. “They’re either obsessed with capes, racists, racist capes or racists who are obsessed with capes!”

“Well, speaking of capes, it’s getting dark. You better hit the road before you run into that nutcase, Vigilante.”

“Yeah, or the escaped gorilla,” you laugh, stubbing out your cigarette. 

“Put that in the trash or you’ll end up with a bullet in your head for littering.”

“I’ve charmed my way out of worse situations. Besides, maybe he’ll be the one to sweep me off my feet.”

“Vigilante? Or the gorilla?”

“Honestly, at this point, I’d take either.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following afternoon, your delivery route sends you off down the highway. It’s not a glamorous job, stocking vending machines at different businesses all over the place, but it’s easy, and you can listen to your own music. It takes you all across this little corner of Washington, and the more you see, the more grateful you are that you get to live in this beautiful, rocky state.

Even if there isn’t a single eligible man to be found on your entire route. You still feel a little crestfallen thinking about Adrian Chase. Why was he so intent on lying to Taylor yesterday? How deep does his Peacemaker obsession go if he was that embarrassed?

You pull up to the back of the Glan Tai bottling plant on the outskirts of Evergreen, put on your headphones and turn on your Walkman. You want to keep a low profile because the clients are much weirder here than the rest- Adrian Chase excluded.

They weren’t always like this. The facilities manager at Glan Tai was a friendly old man - Clive- who let you use their bathroom, and gave you filter coffee from a polystyrene cup to ease your two-hour journey home. Until one day recently, Clive wasn’t so friendly anymore. New management, you expected.

Head down, you drag your cart through the service entrance and make your way to their storage room. Aqua blasts in your ears as you wheel your way along the corridor. There are loud bangs and the ground vibrates slightly, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary in a site with heavy machinery. 

You get to the room where they keep the IT equipment, files and vending machine and start unloading. You feel a heavy hand on your shoulder and pull your headphones down around your neck.

“Oh, sorry Clive, I didn’t see you-“ 

You freeze, icy fear spreading through your veins as you find yourself face to face with - you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me - the escaped gorilla from the zoo.

You scream. Loudly.

Two people burst into the room, startling the gorilla. It backs away from you. For a second, you think they’re factory workers running to your rescue. But they slam and bolt the storage room door shut behind them.

“No! Unlock the door!”

They whip around and point their guns at you. You drop the case of water you’re holding and hold your hands up in surrender.

One of them, you recognise from the news. A man in a black and teal suit, armed to the hilt, with his face almost entirely obscured- except by a red visor covering his eyes.

It’s him. It’s Vigilante. And a blonde woman you don’t recognise. 

He lowers his gun and nudges hers away from your direction.

“Shoot her before she kills us both!” snaps the woman, irritated. 

“She’s not a butterfly,” says Vigilante, his voice muffled behind his mask. “I know her.”

He knows me? How?

“I’m just delivering water, I swear!” You beg her, looking between them. 

Just then, the gorilla appears from behind the shelves and launches the blonde woman across the room.

An involuntary yelp of shock escapes you again and the gorilla returns its attention to you. Thinking fast, you tip your cart forward, and the giant ape trips up on the cascade of cans and bottles.

“You didn’t think to tell us there was a gorilla in here?!” Comes the annoyed blonde woman’s voice from behind a broken table.

“I was preoccupied with the guns in my face!” 

The door to the storage room is blasted open and another woman bursts in, followed by none other than Peacemaker.

Adrian would lose his shit right now, you think to yourself.

Peacemaker looks at you through the eyeholes of his helmet “She’s clear, Adebayo” and the other woman lowers her gun. The gorilla gets up. “Oh shit!” says Peacemaker as it sends a swipe in your direction, sending you tumbling off your feet and onto the floor.

You cower in the corner as they fight the gorilla. Vigilante stabs it but it bats him away easily and does the same to the woman called Adebayo. Peacemaker launches himself onto the gorilla’s back but the beast throws him off onto the hard floor.

“Die, human!” 

Did that gorilla just speak? What have you gotten yourself into?

The gorilla raises its fists, ready to crush Peacemaker, when a man with an oddly patchy beard runs through the door, chainsaw in hand and proceeds to kill the gorilla, sawing it almost in half and sending blood splattering everywhere. 

A small winged creature crawls out of the dead gorilla’s mouth. The blonde woman gets to her feet and shoots it casually. What the…? Was that some kind of parasite?

The gunshot leaves your ears ringing but hearing your name whispered in your ear brings you back to reality. You blink stupidly at Vigilante, who is now crouched down inches from your face and you try to make out his eyes through the red visor. You know those eyes. But how? How does the mass murderer of Evergreen know you?

He hooks his arms under yours, lifts you to your feet and wipes the smattering of blood off your face. Your heart is racing as you continue to stare at him silently, dumbfounded. You know you should be scared of this masked man, who’s wanted on multiple counts of murder. But here he is, claiming he knows you, making sure you’re okay.

“What do we do with her?” asks the bearded man with the chainsaw. 

“Who, me?” you try and sound nonchalant. “I didn’t see anything. I’ll just get out of your beard- hair! I mean hair.” You go to put your headphones back over your ears but the blonde woman rips them off.

“Hey!” Vigilante steps between you and her. “Look, she’s cool. She says she didn’t see anything, so she didn’t”

“How do you know she’s not a butterfly?” she challenges Vigilante.

“X-ray helmet,” interjects Peacemaker. “No butterfly in that pretty little noggin.” He winks at you and Vigilante bristles, folding his arms in an irritated sort of way.

“Listen, I’ve got like four more deliveries today so…” You trail off as your body starts to go on autopilot. There’s an awkward silence as they watch you bustle around, stacking the blood-covered cases of water and soda back onto your cart.

“She’s clearly in shock,” says Adebayo, more gently than the blonde. 

“Hey, let me help you with that,” says a muffled voice from behind you.

‘Hey, let me help you with that.’

In the exact same cadence as yesterday. 

“A-Adrian?” you say hoarsely and you turn back around in time to watch Vigilante drop the case of water. “Adrian Chase?!” you repeat, your voice slightly hysterical. 

“No!” says Adrian unconvincingly but at the same time Peacemaker says:

“Godammit Vij. How does she know you?”

Adrian groans in frustration. “She delivers drinks to my job too!”

“That settles it- she’s a witness and she knows Vigilante’s identity. Adebayo, you need to end this. Don’t make her beg for her life like the other guy,” commands the blonde woman, clearly in charge of the team.

“Nonononononono,” Adrian stands in front of you with his arms folded. “No way. I am not letting you kill her.”

“That’s an order, Adebayo. Vigilante- move.”

“Wait,” says the guy with the beard. “She might actually be useful, Harcourt.”

Harcourt raises her eyebrows. “Well?”

“We’re looking for other leads, right? Other places where the butterflies are?” He looks at you. “Hey, water girl. Does this company have any other locations?”

“Y-yes,” your throat feels dry.

“Can you tell us where they are?” he asks.

“Will you let me live if I tell you?”

Everyone looks at Harcourt. She groans. “Fine. But we’re gonna need to figure out what to do with her to keep her from blabbering.”

“C’mon, she already said she was cool!” says Adrian.

“And you trust her?”

“One hundo percent.” He gives you a reassuring thumbs up.

“I wouldn’t trust his judgement,” says Peacemaker and you immediately feel faint. It must be obvious on your face because he backtracks. “No! Not that we should kill her! Definitely not. But Adrian would trust any hot girl. We can’t just let her go.”

Harcourt pinches the bridge of her nose as she thinks. 

“Vigilante,” she says finally. “I’m telling Murn that water girl is your responsibility. You’re going to keep her with you 24/7 until the mission is over. Any fuck-up, if she does or says anything that jeopardizes our objective, she’s dead and you’ll be doing black ops in Belize. Got it?”

“Cool, got it!” says Adrian enthusiastically, as if that isn’t the most horrifying thing he’s ever heard.

“Wait, don’t I get a say in this? I have a job! I have people who will be looking for me.”

“Do you want to cooperate or do you want to die?” 

“Which one do you wanna do?” asks Adrian.

If you hadn’t already figured out that Vigilante was Adrian Chase, that would have been the dead giveaway.

A few moments later, Adrian is leading you by the hand back through the factory to where your van is parked while you cover your eyes with one hand. He had suggested it after your knees almost gave way when you saw the pile of bodies at the door. And he liked that you had rejected Peacemaker’s offer to hoist you over his shoulder and carry you out.

“Oh, no… Clive,” you whisper, making the mistake of opening your eyes and seeing the old man crumpled on the floor, next to the coffee machine. You cover your eyes again.

“Watch you don’t slip in the blood here,” says Adrian gently, guiding you to side-step.

You groan. You think you might puke. 

“I can’t believe you killed all these people,” you whisper, wishing you could disassociate from this whole thing.

“We didn’t, not really- I promise. I’ll explain on the ride home.”

Harcourt instructs Adrian to drive your van, following theirs back to Evergreen. When you’re both out of earshot and in your van, Adebayo sits in the driver’s seat turning to Harcourt, Peacemaker and Economos. “Isn’t it kind of weird seeing Vigilante like this?”

“Like what?” asks Economos.

“Like, compassionate, sweet… not all hell-bent on murder?”

Peacemaker shrugs “He’s like this all the time. You should hear the way he talks about this other girl, his friend Taylor’s sister, or cousin, I think. He’s just a sucker for anyone who’s nice to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, you’re sitting on the couch in your apartment, waiting for Adrian to finish up in the shower.

On the drive to their headquarters, Adrian had explained all about their mission and how an alien race called ‘the butterflies’ had taken over the bodies of (and, therefore, killed) all those people in the factory long before Adrian’s team had arrived.

At headquarters, you had told them everything you knew about your clients at Glan Tai and had given them the coordinates for their other delivery location- a small farm thirty miles north of the factory. Murn seemed to be satisfied with your intel and approved of Harcourt’s plan to have Adrian keep you under close surveillance. Great. 

Adrian grabbed his go-bag from his Sebring and drove the two of you in your van back to your apartment, where you immediately ran to the shower, to try and rid yourself of all the negative feelings from today.

He now appears in your living room, fresh out of the shower in a pale blue t-shirt and jeans, looking much less out of place than when he was in his full combat gear. But he still stands awkwardly, not sure what to do with himself. 

“Thirsty?” you ask him. “I’ve got wine.”

“I shouldn’t. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on you.”

You find two wine glasses and place them on the coffee table. He sits on the edge of your couch. “What am I gonna do, Adrian?” You open up a bottle of red wine and start pouring. “I could barely stand seeing all that shit at the factory. Do you really think I’m gonna kill you?” You slide a glass towards him and start filling your own. 

He looks down at the wine but doesn’t touch it. You raise your glass. “To forgetting the worst day of my life.”

“The worst day of your life? Today was awesome!” He looks genuinely surprised that you’re not sharing his elation. “We killed a ton of butterflies, and now thanks to you, we know where they keep their cow.”

It’s a sentence that wouldn’t have made sense to you a few hours ago. And you hate that it does now.

“We’re saving the world,” he continues. “And you helped!”

You push his wine glass closer to him. “To saving the world, then.”

He takes a sip and screws up his face. “Do you have any beer? Ooh, or soda!”

“It’s in the van. And most of it’s covered in blood now.”

“Then this is great,” he says, a little too politely. 

“If you’re not used to it, the first glass tastes like acetone,” you tell him, draining yours. “But the second one…” You pause, pouring yourself another. “The second goes down real smooth.”

Adrian copies you and gulps down the red wine. You refill his glass, and he takes another sip.

“The second one isn’t so bad, actually.” He sounds surprised. 

You sink down on the couch next to him. “So now what?” you ask. He looks confused, so you elaborate. “What do you usually do with hostages all night?”

“You’re not a hostage!” He looks offended. “I’m more like your bodyguard.”

“Oh yeah? Who are you guarding me from? Your friends?”

He looks up over his glasses in thought. “Well, just Harcourt. And Murn. But it’s mostly to keep you safe from the butterflies.”

You take another drink of wine. Studying his face, you think he’s telling the truth. He really doesn’t consider you to be his hostage. As you look him over, you realise you’ve never noticed how curly his hair is before- he’s normally wearing that dorky little Fennel Fields hat. 

You’ve always thought he was cute in a wholesome kind of way but now that he’s out of his work uniform, you can appreciate that he’s, like, ridiculously, conventionally handsome. You wonder if he knows it. You wonder a lot of things about Adrian, especially now that, come to think of it, everything you know about him is probably a lie to keep his secret identity hidden.

“Truth or dare?” you blurt. 

“What?”

“Go on.” You gesture towards him with your glass. “We’ve got a long night. I want to find out more about you. Adrian. Vigilante.”

He looks excited. Maybe it’s the prospect of playing a game, or maybe he’s just happy someone wants to know more about him. Both sides of him.

“Truth then.”

“Does your pregnant ex-girlfriend exist?”

He groans and leans his head back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “No. I was just trying to cover how stoked I was that Peacemaker was out of jail.” 

You laugh, but your eyes linger on his exposed neck and the way his Adam’s apple moves when he talks.

He turns his head to look over at you through his wire-rimmed glasses. “I don’t think Taylor likes me.”

“Taylor likes you just fine,” you lie, sipping your wine.

“Truth or dare?” asks Adrian.

“Truth.”

“Has Taylor ever told you that you shouldn’t date me?”

“Ugh, fine. Yes. He told me not to give you my number.”

“Why?!”

“If you want to ask a follow-up question, then you need to take a drink. That’s the rule.” He does so- quickly. “Okay, fine. He says he doesn’t trust you because you’re always lying about things, and it kind of annoys everyone because you’re a bad liar.”

“Everyone?! I thought we were talking about Taylor?”

“If you want to be liked and have a secret identity, you need to be a better liar.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” admits Adrian, twisting the stem of the glass between his fingers. “Your turn, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

He thinks for a couple of beats. “I dare you to finish your drink.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“It was the only dare I could think of that wasn’t a sexy dare.”

The newly formed idea of Adrian asking you to do something sexy for him makes you pause. Warmth pools deep in your tummy as watches you, waiting. God, why does red wine always make you feel so slutty? You raise your eyebrows over the rim of your glass, and you drain the rest of the liquid. “Why don’t you want to give me a sexy dare?” you ask, setting your glass down.

“I dunno, don’t you think there’s kind of a power imbalance?” 

“That’s true. You are my bodyguard after all.” You nod contemplatively. “And I guess it would be awkward since you need to stay here for a few more days.”

“Oh, I meant-” Adrian cuts himself off. What he really meant would sound incredibly childish now. 

You get up from the couch to retrieve another bottle of wine from the breakfast bar that separates your kitchen from your living room. “Go on, what did you mean?”

“No, I meant what you said.” 

No, he didn’t. What he meant is that you have all the power because he has such a huge crush on you. And the way the wine is going to his head, he’s not sure he trusts himself to give you a dare without it having an ulterior motive. Adrian watches as you twist the corkscrew into the bottle with precision. Your chest jiggles in your tank top with the recoil of your arm extracting the cork, and it makes Adrian blush bright red. He discreetly adjusts himself in his jeans.

You bring the new bottle of wine over to the couch and sit down cross-legged, your back leaning against the armrest so you can get a better look at him without constantly straining. Fuck, he’s gorgeous like this, you think, as he gets comfortable, changing position so he can look at you too. In the soft light of your living room, you can make out that his cheeks are pink again. “Does wine usually make you flush like that?” you ask. 

“Uh, I wouldn’t know. Can wine do that?”

“To some people, yeah. For me, it just makes me feel kinda sexy.” You clap your hand to your mouth, watching Adrian’s eyes widen. “Ugh! Sorry, I wouldn’t have said that if I hadn’t had two glasses already.” You scoff and shake your head. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

The wine is making you feel bolder. “Have you had sex in your Vigilante costume?”

“Today?”

You almost choke on your newly poured drink with laughter. 

“Okay, that answers that question. In which case, I have a follow-up,” You take a sip, pointedly. “What’s Vigilante’s favourite sex position?”

“Oh, uh…” Adrian thinks back to when he last had sex as Vigilante, with Amber and Peacemaker a few days ago. “Any, I guess.”

“Any? C’mon, you picked truth!”

“It is the truth! I don’t take my mask off, or my suit if I don’t have to. So it always feels the same. Fun, I guess, but sorta uncomfortable. Funcomfortable.”

You smile and rest your head on your hand, elbow leaning on the back of the couch. “What about Adrian?”

“Is that another follow-up question?”

You acquiesce and take another drink but before you can even swallow he says “Missionary.”

“Boring,” you tease but he doesn’t seem fazed.

“It’s not. Not when you really like someone anyway. Missionary is fucking great - when you can kiss them, hold their hand, stare into their eyes…” He pauses, his green eyes burning into yours. “Boring is not being able to even taste someone because of my mask.”

You realise you’ve been holding your breath. You look away and exhale slowly, trying to steady the growing arousal burning hot, deep in your pelvic floor. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I-” When you raise your head again, he’s still looking at you intently. “I just realised I haven’t been fucked like that in a really long time.”

He shakes his head. “Yeah right! I bet you go on tons of dates.”

“I do,” you admit with a tilt of your head. “But did you know that like 90% of women don’t orgasm on a one-night stand?”

Adrian’s eyebrows knit together “That doesn’t sound right. Women always cum when I-”

“That’s what all men say, Adrian. But honestly, I don’t think a man has made me cum in, like, the entire time I’ve been single.”

“I could,” he says, matter-of-factly. It’s not a boast, it’s a simple statement. 

Honestly, you're not sure if it’s the alcohol or the vivid image you have of Adrian making you clutch at your bedsheets and moan his name, but something’s making the blood rush to your face and other parts of your body that you’re still desperately trying not to think about. 

“I’ll do it right now if you want?” 

He’s asking if he can try to make you cum as casually as if asking if he can help you restock the vending machine. It’s bolder than you’d expected from the shy busboy. Then again, you’d never expected him to be Vigilante either… maybe you should review all the preconceptions you have of him.

Your abdomen clenches. Fuck, you can feel how hot and sticky your underwear is as he blinks at you behind his glasses, waiting for your response.

You look at his face hungrily, eyes lingering on his lips, now stained with red wine. “Adrian, listen. I’m sure you’re very good, blah blah blah. But I just… I don’t want to set you up for disappointment. It’s kind of hard to make me cum.”

“Let me give it a shot. And if I can make you cum, you let me take you on a date.”

You stare at him, feeling your chest pounding as you contemplate his offer. There’s something about his voice that’s so sincere and so fucking desperate for you, your brain can’t think of a reason not to say yes.

“Truth or dare?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Truth.”

“Do you want me to go down on you? I’m really good at it.”

Yes! You want to scream- already stupidly soaking fucking wet at the mere idea of it. 

Instead, you squeeze your eyes shut and nod. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Yeah?” His tone makes you think that he wasn’t really expecting you to say yes.

“Yes, Adrian.” You laugh in disbelief. “If you make me cum, you can take me on a date.” He grins and you shift inelegantly, not sure how to proceed. “So… how do you wanna-”

Adrian pounces on you before you can ask the question, his red-stained lips crashing against yours. You kiss him back- hard. You’re thirsty for him, you realise, as you taste the alcohol mixed with the slightly metallic taste of his saliva. You want to drain him, drown in him.

He groans when you grab the nape of his neck and suck on his bottom lip. He can’t believe that you’re kissing him like this- like it’s you who’s been pining after him and not the other way around.

You pause, lips barely touching his. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to kiss you like this for so long,” you whisper.

“You- you have?”

“Adrian, I spend half my week trying to find you new kinds of speciality soda just so I have an excuse to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Realisation dawns on him. All this time he just thought you were really, really into soda. 

Adrian gives you one last deep kiss and pulls away. He gets on his knees on the floor, and the sight of him there, with his hands on your hips and his body between your legs, makes your cunt clench. You bite your lips in anticipation.

His fingertips hook the hem of your sweatpants. “Can I take these off?” You lift your hips, permitting him to remove them.

“Fuck,” he breathes, staring at your pussy.

“Adrian…” You mumble, suddenly self-conscious. Exposed. You try to bring your knees together, but he places a hand on each of your thighs, holding them firmly open. 

“You’re wet already,” he says, in a self-satisfied sort of way that makes your skin feel like it’s on fire. “When did that happen? Was it when I said I’d make you cum?”

You shake your head. “When I was wondering what kind of sexy dare you wanted to give me.”

He grins “I wanted to dare you to take your top off.” He traces a finger along your hot, wet folds. You gasp, feeling the calloused texture of his fingertip brushing up and down against your skin.

“Like this?” You lift your tank top up and over your head, tossing it aside and then you squeeze your tits together. 

He sits on the floor, lips parted slightly in awe. You feel like he’s looking at you like you’re the most-

“You’re the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Now you really are embarrassed but before you can respond, he dips the finger that was sliding along your folds into your pussy. You bite your lip to stifle the vulnerable, blissful sigh that leaves you.

“It’s okay- you can moan for me.” He reassures, pushing a thick finger in and up. You feel your walls squeezing around him in response. “God, you’re so tight around my finger.”

“Fuck-” you plead, as he teases you, gently stroking your g-spot. His lips haven’t even touched you yet and you already feel like you’re having to consciously stop yourself from cumming.

“You needed this, huh?” he asks and you watch as he kisses your inner thigh, sucking the sensitive skin there. You have to look away- just the sight of his jaw muscles moving as he traces his tongue along the crevice where your thigh meets your body almost sends you over the brink.

“Adrian, I’m- fuck-” After all your warnings about how difficult it would be to make you cum, you’re are shamefully close already- and Adrian knows it. Everything below your waist is hot and shaking and swollen as his finger curls up inside you, tapping rhythmically. 

“Wait not yet- I’ve got to taste you. I want you to cum on my tongue.”

Warmth envelopes your clit as Adrian opens his mouth and slowly glides his tongue over the bundle of nerves there, tasting you for the first time. He barely moves at all but you’re so close that just the pressure of his mouth on you sends the crashing wave of your orgasm rolling across his hot tongue. Your back arches and your walls clamp down around his finger. 

He lets out a groan, sending pleasant vibrations across your clit. 

“Shit, Adrian-”

Blinding lights appear somewhere between your eyelids and the centre of the universe. Your thighs tense as the pleasure shoots through your body, your pussy flooding his mouth between your legs. 

When you finally stop twitching he removes his tongue from you, giving you a moment’s respite. 

“That was, like, really easy,” he smirks as you run your hands through your hair in disbelief. “I didn’t even have to take my glasses off.”

“I’ve never-” You try to catch your breath, blinking at him. You’re not sure you’ve even made yourself cum that quickly before. “That’s never happened -so fast- ever.”

“I shoulda asked what two orgasms would get me.”

“Literally anything. Do whatever you want with me-” you babble, staring up at the ceiling. You pause to look down when you feel him remove his finger from inside you. 

And he takes off his glasses, ready to make you a fucking mess.

It’s the singular hottest action you’ve ever seen anyone do in your entire life- Adrian Chase is going to be the end of you.

He hooks his arms behind your knees, lifting your ass off of the couch and pulling you towards him. 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he says, mesmerised by the way your chest still heaves in the aftershock of your orgasm. Adrian buries his face between your legs, delving his tongue between your lips and exploring your entrance.

He pulls back for a second “I knew you’d taste so fucking good.” 

Fuck. 

You watch as he sucks on two of his fingers and sinks them deep inside you, up to his knuckles. When you repeat his name over and over, he answers by flicking his tongue over your clit.

You gasp at the sensation and grab a fistful of his thick, curly hair. His tongue rolls gentle circles around your clit as his fingers work in and out, softly stretching your pussy. Adrian takes his time now and it’s agonising. 

For so long he’s been having sex as Vigilante. Adrian’s missed this, the freedom of having his mask off. Of taste. And he can’t believe that it’s you that he’s devouring. 

Fuck, and you could lie here like this forever, just enjoying him exploring you, like he wants nothing more than to make you gush all over him and cry his name again. Normally you’d feel under pressure to perform, to give him that second orgasm he’s so determined to draw from you, but the way he’s taking his time, lazily swirling his tongue in circles, and curling his fingers into you makes you dissolve into a puddle.

“Fuuuck,” you whine helplessly, feeling the familiar sensation of you losing yourself, the heat that’s been slowly building deep in your core threatening to boil over. “Can we do this, like, the whole time you’re here protecting me?” Your eyes try to find his but he’s staring at your tits. His other hand is on your hip, fingers not quite stretching up towards you - as if unsure what the boundary is on touching you when it comes to this silly little deal you’ve made.

You pull his hand to your chest, encouraging him to squeeze you. He moans needily between wet, sloppy licks. The sound of him being so turned on just from touching your body, when you haven’t laid a hand on him yet sends ecstasy searing through you.

And it comes, whipping through your core and cracking like thunder. You squeeze your thighs around his head and he lets you set the pace, as you grind yourself wildly onto his tongue, his lips, his chin. Adrian groans in encouragement when you grip the back of his head, his fingers still pressing into your g-spot as you press yourself against his mouth. 

You cum hard again, your rocking hips eventually shuddering to a halt as he gives you a few last long, slow licks. The faint prickle of embarrassment you feel from letting yourself come undone like that vanishes when you see Adrian’s face light up, his lips swollen and sticky, totally enamoured by your now slightly dishevelled appearance. 

His mouth looks irresistible. You slink down off the couch to join him on the floor so you can kiss him desperately. Fuck, why did you ever listen to Taylor? You needed this. Needed him. You taste the sweet, salty juices on Adrian’s lips and on his tongue.

“I’ll admit-” you breathe, pressing your forehead against his. “- you’re like really, really fucking good at that.”

“Told you.” He leans on the couch and gets to his feet. “So, where’s your bedroom?”

“Uh, down the hall, across from the bathroom. Why?”

“Two orgasms and I can do what I want with you. Deal’s a deal.” Before your brain can catch up, he hoists you to your feet and over his shoulder, making you squeal involuntarily with delight.

Oh my fucking god.

Adrian slaps your ass and carries you through to your bedroom, tossing you onto your bed where you burst into a fit of giggles. He smells warm and clean, like your favourite shower gel he must have used earlier. He crawls on top of you and plants tiny kisses all over your lips, your cheeks, your nose- every inch of your face and neck peppered with his affection. 

He pulls off his T-shirt and - Jesus Christ, he has abs. But you also notice his torso is covered in scars and bruises, the evidence of his double life painted across his body. A streak of white scar tissue here, a purple welt there-

“Don’t girls usually ask about all these injuries?” You ask, tracing your hand down his chest.

“I usually keep my suit on.” He shrugs.

And that’s when you realise- he doesn’t just happen to have sex as Vigilante. He only has sex as Vigilante. You feel a pang of understanding, thinking about the way he so wistfully described missionary earlier. You’re the only one who’s seen him like this. Both sides of him.

Adrian undoes his belt buckle and looks down at you lying spread out of the bedsheets in front of him, still flushed and glowing. He knew he’d be able to make you glow like that.

He pauses. “Do, uh, do you have a condom? I wasn’t expecting to…”

You find a condom in your bedside drawer while he undresses and then you help to put it on him as you kiss the small trail of dark hair below his belly button. He’s big- bigger than what you’re used to. You’d really, really like to suck it, you think. But Adrian has other ideas. He guides you back to lie on your pillows and climbs on top of you.

Wanton anticipation bubbles over inside you, you sigh needily as he kisses your neck and brings his calloused hand between your legs again. He slides his fingers into your folds and you hear the wet sounds of him rubbing your slick on his cock. It’s greedy but you’re already impatient for him- you want to cum for him again.

He positions himself at your entrance and looks into your eyes. “You okay?” he murmurs.

“Yes,” you breathe. “Fuck me- please.”

The way you plead makes him twitch- he can’t take it anymore. The erection he’s had since you opened that second bottle of wine is throbbing. Adrian’s hips press into you and you feel his cock pushing through your folds, into your centre. A soft whimper escapes your lips as you feel him filling you up, the walls of your pussy struggling to accommodate him.

Watching your reaction, he double checks “Sure you’re okay?” 

You nod. Because it aches - but in the best kind of way. 

“Good,” he says. “Because you feel so good. Your pussy feels so fucking good around me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist. Fuck, he has such a slutty little waist, you think to yourself as he grinds into you, pushing deeper, the head of his cock pressing into your g-spot. You slip your hand between your bodies to touch yourself and he moans quietly in your ear.

“Oh my god, yeah. Fuck, rub your clit because I’m not gonna last long.”

He clasps your other hand, fingers intertwining with yours- half holding it, half pinning it to the bed. Your body writhes under him, leaning your head back into your pillows and he takes the opportunity to suck at your freshly exposed neck.

“You look so good taking it so deep like this,” he groans, tilting his head down to watch his cock slide in and out of you. “I can’t believe I’m fucking inside you.”

Everything he says makes the hairs on the back of your arms stand up. You feel so, deliciously full- the indecent slapping and squelching noises as he picks up pace and pounds into you only makes you wetter.

Your legs squeeze around his waist as your whole body tightens like a spring coiling, ready to be released. The friction of his body moves yours, driving you into your mattress, and putting even more rhythmic pressure on your fingers against your clit. 

“Adrian, I’m- ah, fuck- I’m gonna cum again.”

“Fuck, look at me. I want you to cum when I cum. Let it all out for me.”

You try and keep eye contact with him while bliss rockets through your body as his hips slam into you harder. It spreads from your centre right down your legs, now in a vice-like grip around him. You curse his name incoherently, your pussy tightening and releasing as you cum around his cock. 

“That’s it- fuckfuckfuckfuck-” His full weight collapses on you as he empties himself. You feel Adrian’s cock pulsing inside you as he groans your name and comes to a halt.

You both lie there for a few moments, Adrian breathing raggedly into the crook of your neck, his heartbeat and yours pounding against each other. Your euphoria is interrupted only briefly when he pulls out of you and disposes of the condom. 

Adrian returns to your bed and pulls you into his chest. 

“I am never listening to Taylor ever again,” you say, face pressed against his pectoral muscles.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, unless…” You tilt your head up to look at him. “You still want to take me on a date right?”

“Are you crazy? Of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Nevermind.” The dating scene in Evergreen has sucked so hard for so long, your first thought was that he might not want to see you again.

He grabs your face with both hands, trying to drum sense into you. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for months. You’re not getting rid of me.”

Adrian plants a kiss on your forehead.

Maybe there is a decent man in this town after all.

[dmwrites]

Grian didn’t choose the CuteGuy lifestyle as much as it was thrust upon him. He had made one joke (just one!) about how he could be HotGuy’s sidekick, CuteGuy, and Scar went nuts. Within a week, a shulker box had been delivered to his base, containing some flashy pink clothes, a huge bow with a deadly-looking quiver of arrows, and, most unexpectedly, a bedazzled pink flip phone. There was only one contact in the phone, so, with a sigh, Grian pressed the call button.

“Hello?”

“Scar, what is this?”

“Oh, so you found your CuteGuy readiness package!” Scar gasped excitedly. “What do you think? Do you like my big package?”

“Wording, Scar. And, no, I’m not going to be your sidekick! The CuteGuy thing was a joke, bro.” Grian held up the clothes and looked them over with distain, using his shoulder to prop the phone to his ear. “And pink really isn’t my color, much less hot pink.”

“What do you mean? You’re blonde, you’re basically like a Barbie, you’d totally rock pink!”

“I have an alter ego already, Scar, I don’t need another, much less one that wears… does this shirt have a heart-shaped cutout in the chest? Scar!”

“Oh please.” Scar scoffed. “Do you really think Poultry Man will make a comeback? Let’s all be honest with ourselves now.”

“Hey now, mister ‘HotGuy is like half of my personality’. PoultryMan was the blueprint of superheroes!” Grian put the clothes back in the shulker and closed it firmly. “Scar, this dress up game is going a little too far, don’t you think? There isn’t even a need for HotGuy.”

“You never know.” Scar said in a sing-song voice. “Listen, just keep the shulker and the phone- if I really need a sideki- backup, I’ll call this phone, okay? Please?”

“Fine.” Grian said. “It’s a good thing you’re my friend, or I’d burn all of this.” He hung up the phone and set it down on top of the shulker box. He sighed, shaking his head at the bedazzled and pink nightmare that sat on and in the box before him. He picked the box up and moved it to a shadowy part of his basement. Grumbot looked down at him, lights twinkling in a way Grian took as laughter.

“Listen, Scar never said a thing about me actually picking up the phone, so by technicality, I’m off the hook.” Grian felt a need to explain himself. “If he really wants a CuteGuy so bad, he can get someone else to do it or something. I don’t do sidekick. PoultryMan is main character energy.”

Grumbot just flashed his lights, and Grian wondered if the robot had even been listening at all. He sighed, turning around and gazing out towards the now-dull rift on the other side of the basement.

“Now, to something that really matters, what on earth do I do about this?”

-seven months later-

Much like young Issac Newton theorizing about gravity from an apple falling onto his head, Joe Hills also had an odd series of events happen to him when something big and heavy fell onto his head. But he thought “ouch!” instead of conceptualizing gravity, but that’s besides the point.

“Who is messing with me? Guys, now is not a great time… huh?” Joe looked all around, and his gaze came to rest on a red shulker box on its side, spilling stacks upon stacks of tnt onto the ground. Joe went to pick it up and saw it labeled as Grian’s. “Grian?” There was no answer.

So, Joe did what any good person would do, and gathered up all of the tnt, put it back in the box, and set off for Grian’s megabase, which he had only an approximation of its location. He did manage to find it eventually, or, at least, the amalgamation of Grian and Mumbo’s bases, and he dithered on the spot for a while, trying to remember who’s was which. He eventually just gave up and dove down into what he knew to be Grian’s basement, with that weird robot and rift thing. Luckily, both oddities seemed inactive, and Joe put the shulker box down in the middle of the room, and took out a scrap of paper to leave as a note.

Suddenly, a phone rang, echoing through the basement. Joe looked at the rift, then the robot. Neither seemed to a source of the ringing. It was coming, Joe found out as he looked around, from a bedazzled pink flip phone on top of a pink and horribly dusty shulker box. On instinct, Joe picked it up and answered.

“Howdy, Joe Hills from Nashville, Tennessee here, how can I be of service?”

“Cuteguy, it’s time! The time is nye! I- wait, Joe?”

Joe recognized the dramatic voice on the other end at once. “Scar?”

“Joe?”

“Howdy, Scar!”

“Wait, I thought I gave this phone to Grian.”

“Well, I suppose you did. I just happened to be by, dropping off a shulker box of tnt that he must have dropped by accident onto my head, and I heard the phone-“

“Hold on, I’ll be right there.”

Scar hung up, and Joe pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it in confusion. He considered leaving, he really did, but after a rather arduous debate in his head of how much time he could be spending on his pinball machine instead of waiting on Scar, he ultimately determined that time spent with friends was always time well spent. He had just come to that conclusion, in fact, when Scar crash landed right in front of Joe.

“Ahh! One heart, Joe, one heart.” Scar said, while Joe helped him right his wheelchair. “Now, where’s CuteGuy?”

“Who?” Joe asked. He took stock of Scar’s outfit, which was a tight black unitard looking thing with blue and orange details. “And what on earth are you wearing?”

“Well, I’m HotGuy, of course!” Scar straightened up, taking out a deadly looking bow and pointing it, clearly posing, which Joe took as the cue to make appropriate awed noises. “But every good superhero needs his sidekick, and I was hoping CuteGuy would have gotten my message.” Scar looked around, like this CuteGuy guy would be hiding in a corner or something.

“Scar, there is no one on the server named ‘CuteGuy’- I feel like Xisuma would have told us if he’d whitelisted someone new.” Joe said very seriously.

“What? No! Okay, Joe, listen,” Scar lowered his voice conspiratorially, and Joe leaned in, keeping an eye on Grumbot as he did- who knows who could be listening. “CuteGuy is Grian’s alter ego. Like how I’m HotGuy.”

Joe put a hand to his mouth in shock, to be polite. “You mean it was actually you who terrorized me all those months ago while I was building a sign for King Ren?”

Scar clicked his tongue in an awkward kind of way. “No time for that, Joe! The point is, I need a sidekick right now, and Grian is nowhere to be found. So, Joe, what do you say- wanna come be CuteGuy for a little while?”

Joe considered this. He had many questions, but Scar had a sense of urgency in his tone. And Joe did like to say yes to new experiences…

“Well, I suppose I could help you out Scar- I mean, HotGuy. But shouldn’t I be called something else, as CuteGuy is kind of more of a Grian thing? I wouldn’t want to invade his creative space.”

Scar rubbed his chin, thinking hard “Maybe… are there other adjectives that are like hot and cute?”

“Oh! I was named the sexiest Minecraft youtuber via a set of tumblr polls!” Joe exclaimed. “Sexy… guy?”

“Tumblr? What’s that, like a disease or something?” Scar asked.

“I- okay, so I could explain this simply, but even that might take a few hours within itself… if I say the words ‘Ball Pit’, does that invoke emotions within you?”

“Joe, we don’t have time!” Scar put a hand over Joe’s mouth. “Listen, I think G will be fine if you borrow the CuteGuy name and outfit. But we really do need to go- crime does not sleep!” Scar opened the pink shulker box and pulled out a couple of sets of clothes, holding them up to Joe and squinting. Finally, he shoved a bundle at him. “Go put this on, and I’ll meet you on Grian and Mumbo’s bridge. Hurry!”

Scar flew up, and Joe quickly changed into the violently pink clothes without much thought. It wasn’t until he flew up to meet Scar did it occur to him what exactly he had on.

“Scar, HotGuy, I don’t mean to complain, but is it really all that sensible to be fighting crime in a crop top and booty shorts? Where is the padding? And the armor?” Joe asked, pulling down on the crop top slightly.

“CuteGuy, in this life, you gotta slay in every way. We’re hotter and cuter then our enemies.” Scar lowered his sunglasses, gave Joe a once-over, and tossed him a huge, glittery pink compound bow. “Now, let’s fly. I’ll explain our mission on the way.” He took off, leaving Joe to put the bow in his inventory and hastily take off after him.

The pink phone began to ring as soon as Joe was coasting in the air, and he fumbled to pull it out of the bag strapped to his thigh.

“Howdy!”

“Alright CuteGuy, are you hearing me alright?” Scar’s voice was cool and collected, if a bit hard to hear over the wind.

“Loud and clear, Scar- I mean, HotGuy.” Joe could see Scar up ahead, and kept pace behind him.

“Fantastic.” Scar turned to give him a thumbs up and a cheesy smile. “Now, for this mission, CuteGuy, we’re heading for the lair of the biggest threat to the server, the goat himself, DocM77. Perhaps you’ve heard of him.”

“I… yeah, Scar, sorry, HotGuy, we’ve both known Doc since season five, of course I know him.”

“Good, good. Recently, I, HotGuy, teamed up with two esteemed revolutionaries to form the Buttercups, an elite team set to take down the goat once and for all. The camp has been set, but we need to send a message to the goat that we mean business. Doc may have fancy redstone, but we have determination, grit, and most importantly, obsidian. Oh, and we’re here!”

“Obsidian?” Joe asked, landing beside Scar on the floor of the perimeter, hanging up the phone. “I thought you were gonna say, like, a pipe bomb or something.”

“No, no, CuteGuy.” Scar pulled out a shulker box and set it on the ground. “We just want to be annoying to good ol’ DocM, not actually kill him. So, we’re gonna cover every surface down here in obsidian.”

Joe looked at Scar, then around at the yawning expanse of the perimeter. “I- yeah, okay. And we are the good guys here, right?”

“Of course.” Scar replied, smiling.

——

It took about five hours of painstakingly placing obsidian, but every surface within the perimeter was eventually covered, which was an interesting sight to behold. Scar and Joe stood at the mouth of Doc’s house, looking down into the expanse.

“I think we did good, CuteGuy.” Scar said, patting Joe on the back.

“This bow was surprisingly effective against slimes.” Joe replied, hoisting up the big pink bow.

“That’s the power of the veloci-tay.” Scar said with an understanding nod. “Now, let’s get out of here before Doc gets back.”

He’d hardly uttered the words when there was the distinct sound of someone coming through Doc’s nether portal. Scar and Joe turned around just in time to see Doc emerge from the portal, and freeze at the sight of them.

“HotGuy?” Doc breathed. “What are you doing here? You and your… actually, I don’t believe I’ve met your… friend?”

“Oh, this is my sidekick, CuteGuy.” Scar waved his hand at Joe.

“Name suits you, CuteGuy.” Doc winked at Joe. “Pleasure to meet you. Now, what was I- oh, what are you both doing in my base? Why does CuteGuy look guilty? What…” Doc’s mechanical eye suddenly flew from the socket, whirring into the air with small but powerful blades. It flew behind the two superheroes and looked down into the perimeter. The room went silent, and Joe watched Doc’s face fall, first into surprise, then anger.

“What the- what did you do? Obsidian?” Doc’s eye flew back into socket, and he actually growled at them. “You annoying-”

“CuteGuy, shoot him!” Scar screeched, hiding behind Joe.

“I- what- okay!” Joe pulled back the bow and aimed it at Doc. The arrow missed. Then another missed. Then Doc was standing right in front of him, glowering.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you’re a terrible shot.” Doc growled.

“Run!” Scar screamed, shooting into Doc’s face over Joe’s shoulder, and they both took off to the sky. Doc typed a bunch of angry and cryptic messages into the in-game chat, but didn’t pursue.

Joe and Scar landed on the bridge between Grian and Mumbo’s bases, breathing heavily.

“We did it! Our first mission as a duo!” Scar held out his hand for a high-five. “What do you say, Joe, want to take on the CuteGuy persona full time? HotGuy needs a good sidekick like you.”

Joe gazed into Scar’s grinning face, seeing his own, glittering pink reflection in Scar’s sunglasses.

“Absolutely not.”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Omg hey I woul like to request something ! Ken x Reader (male, if possible) where the reader teaches Ken about the real world and they're also very in love. Thank you very much !

When Ken returned to the Real World again, he had a vision similar to Barbie's--realizing his owner was nearby.

Instead of a child....it's you, an adult who (like Gloria) inadvertently projected your own insecurities onto him while looking at an unboxed Beach Ken doll in your attic.

When you were younger, you really wanted to play with it unlike other boys who had action figures and nerf guns...but you were sorta shamed into keeping it boxed, as your parents said it would be more "valuable" one day.

Similarly..Ken had been stuck in a box all his life, trapped in the role of Barbie's accessory until recently.

So there's an instant connection when you two meet.

To make a long story short, you're like "ohhh hey I guess I kinda fucked up your mental stability, bro...you wanna come over and we can talk about it, man-to-man?"

He was very eager to go with you and learn more about your world beyond all the patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

You tell him about using your "male privilege" for good, and one defining example was when a random woman taps him on the shoulder, looking terrified and almost in tears.

"H-Hi, um..this is gonna sound really awkward but can you two pretend to be my friends for a second? This guy has been following me-"

"Of course." You reassure her, before looking to the confused Ken and telling him to go along with it.

The creepy guy comes along and backs off when he sees you two standing there protecting this lady, and once he's gone, she thanks you with hugs before leaving.

"I think I did a good job." Ken turns to you for validation, eyes shimmering. "Was that good, [y/n]? I mean playing pretend is all I've ever done so-"

"Yep. You did great." You chuckle, patting his shoulder. "I'm glad she thought you were a safe person to approach."

He nods and is giddy the whole way back home, especially when you get into your car and show him the different mechanisms, with him clinging to every detail.

These life lessons you're teaching him, however, made him think back to the "Kendom"...and he admits to trying to reinvent patriarchy there and feels ashamed of how he treated the Barbies.

He didn't think he'd open up this quickly to you, considering he never had any "manly" talks with other Kens (besides beach-offs).

But besides you being his owner, there's something about you that just made him feel...secure enough to do so. Like he could tell you anything.

You listen and reassure him that acknowledging his mistakes was a great first step to unlearning those toxic mindsets.

With all of that finally hashed out, you decide to show him the simple pleasures of the real world. Like cooking, watching TV, playing video games, etc.

Just mundane things you regularly do, with Ken picking up on some of your habits/routines as well as having some independence of his own.

You two grow closer as a result over the next few weeks, and you began falling for him and his humor and his charming smiles-

Yeah, you're 100% smitten for this doll who crossed worlds to meet you.

But you're not sure if he felt (or even could feel) the same way, since he was made to love Barbie and was...clearly still getting over his "breakup" with her. So you left it be.

That changes when you show him some emotional movie where the lead male characters showed vulnerability (ie Good Will Hunting or Brokeback Mountain) and he unconsciously holds your hand as he stares at the screen, tears staining his cheeks.

While the credits roll, your heart melts as he looks at you with those pretty blue eyes, his watery smile persistent.

"Th-Thanks for showing me this, [y/n].."

"Of course, Ken. Now you know that us guys don't always have to pretend to be tough. We're allowed to have feelings." You rub your thumb across his knuckles, a sweet gesture which makes him blush.

On the subject of feelings, he realizes that the ones he has for you are...leaning more into romance than "bromance" (yeah you taught him that term and it's part of his vocabulary now).

He becomes uncharacteristically quiet when you ask him what's on his mind, before he leans in to kiss you on the cheek. Purely on impulse.

You're both flustered at what happened, yet he panics internally when you don't say anything, trying to get up to leave so you didn't see him cry over the stupid decision he made-

"Ken, it's okay." You take his hands, convincing him to sit back down. "I had no idea you swung that way, but I'm...actually glad."

"Glad? Y-You're not...mad or anything?" He sniffles.

"Of course not. I....was planning to come out of the closet sooner or later. I just didn't know when or how to bring it up, but....I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore, thank god."

"So...does this makes us boyfriend and g....boyfriend?"

"If you want it to be, sure. I wouldn't mind a handsome doll being the love of my life." You wink.

Ken mirrors your smile, relieved to know you reciprocated his feelings.

Then he gets stumped on something and his eyebrows furrow.

"Wait...what closet were you talking about?"

Oh boy.

You just chuckle and give him a kiss on the lips.

Falling in love with a Ken doll from Barbieland certainly wasn't on your bucket list....

But you're perfectly content with that.

[joeybsversion]

Jealous

Joe Burrow x Reader

Joe finds out about your past relationship with a famous NFL tight end

“Usually we talk about football, sometimes about life, and I’m always making fun of Jason.” Travis laughed. “But this week, we’re talking about a little something different on New Heights.” He raised his eyebrows. “Jason, you wanna let them know what’s going on?” He asked his brother.

“With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, there’s definitely lots of love in the air.” He winked at the camera. “Every week of February we are going to bring on an NFL player and his significant other and talk all thing L-O-V-E.” He spelled it out, causing a laugh from Travis. “Not our usual topic but I think we’ll still have some fun.”

“Damn right!” Travis joined in. “This week we have none other than the Ken and Barbie of the NFL world!” He began patting his hands on his knees, motioning for Jason to join in. “Drum roll please.” The pace got faster. “Please welcome Mr and Mrs. Burrow!” He cheered, causing applause from himself and Jason.

“Hey guys! Thanks for having us.” Joe laughed and took over the microphone.

“Bro, thanks for coming on! We’ve been looking forward to sitting down with you both!” Jason said. “You guys ready to just get straight into it?” He asked.

“For sure.” Joe smiled.

“Let’s do it!” You chimed in.

“First things first, give us a little rundown on your relationship.” Travis said.

“I’ll let you take this one away.” You motioned to Joe.

“Oh putting him on the spot!” Jason and Travis laughed.

“I wish I was being funny.” Joe laughed as he started “but we met at a Marvel movie brew fest.” You hid your face in embarrassment. “Super nerdy. Basically it was just a couple of hours of Marvel movie trivia and tasting different beers. But we ended up being on the same trivia team and thankfully I had some liquid courage and asked for her number.” Joe laughed.

“It’s true!” You chimed in. “It’s so embarrassing to tell the story.” You laughed. Travis gave Joe a hard time about it, causing a laugh from the whole group.

“We’ve basically been together ever since though.” Joe smiled at you.

“And let’s clear the air, Travis called you Mr and Mrs but you guys aren’t married yet, right?”

“That’s right. 6 years and still no ring.” You teased.

“You gotta get on that, Man!” Travis teased Joe. “I know a lot of people want to know how you manage a relationship with such busy schedules.” Travis changed the topic.

“It’s not easy.” You gave Joe a sheepish smile. “We FaceTime a lot when he’s on the road and try to spend as much time together as possible when he’s home.”

“Same with Kylie and I.” Jason chimed in. “Lots of phone calls and finding time, even if it’s 5 minutes to sit down and have a cup of coffee together.”

“Phone calls that get a little spicy?” Travis winked.

“I can’t help myself.” Joe answered and let out a shy laugh.

Your hand flew over your mouth, your face turning bright red.

“Hey you gotta find time when you can! Even if that means over the phone!” Jason defended, fist bumping Joe.

“NEXT QUESTION!” You interrupted, hoping to change the subject.

“How did you know she was the one?” Travis asked.

“I like being with her.”

“No shit.” Travis laughed. “Be more specific.”

Joe laughed, “It’s easy being with her. She understands me in a way no one else does. when I’m not with her, I wish she was there. When I am with her I want that time to last forever.”

“Awww, Joey.” You leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder.

“Get a room!” Travis joked.

“Hey bro, no need to be jealous! You’ll feel that way about someone one day.” Jason teased his little brother. “And just to think, it could’ve been her at one point.” Jason pointed towards you.

“That’s true.” Travis nodded. “We were a hot item back in the day.”

You started to laugh but we’re quickly interrupted by Joe, “What?” He asked and furrowed his eye brows at you.

“Yeah, Trav and I know each other.” You laughed.

“Before she was a Bengal fan she was a Chiefs fan!” Travis gave Joe a hard time.

Joes mood instantly changed. The rest of the interview was awkward, his answers were short, he was done joking around, and he barely looked at you or Travis.

Things wrapped up and you said your goodbyes and followed an angry Joe out to the car.

“What’s wrong?” You questioned as he backed out of the driveway and sped down the street.

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Travis?” He asked, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip on the steering wheel.

“It was a three month fling that I barely remember.” You laughed.

“Bull shit.” He countered.

“No, not bull shit.” You answered and then rode in silence for a few minutes. “Why are you so mad?” You questioned.

“I’m not mad.” He paused. “I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Anytime anyone looks at you or speaks to you, I’m jealous. I want all of your minutes and all of your words. I want all of you, all of the time.” He answered.

You laughed, unable to catch your breath for a moment. “Joey, you have me. I promise. There is no reason to be jealous.” You assured him. “In case my reaction to your idiocy, I love you. And only you.”

[ghastlyfilters]

𝐇𝐂𝐒 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 !!

pairing(s): implied randy meeks, billy loomis, mickey altieri + stu macher x gn!reader

warning: none, though some hcs that i have written might be a little modern than others!

RANDY

• Idc what y’all say, this man is OBSESSED with Funko Pops.

• Honestly, I feel that he’s well aware of the fact that he has an interest for collector’s items.

• Bro.. he would squeal if you took him to places like HMV or Hot Topic.

• When he was informed that the Video Store (his workplace) would begin to sell some Funkos of infamous movie characters since that was literally the whole theme of the place, he died off. HE. DIED. OFF.

• Billy and Stu have occasionally dropped by to rent some more horror movies, also teasing him about the pops and telling the whole store it was a.. kink? More Stu’s bad way of putting it, shall we say..

“Can you take their clothes off?” Stu asked curiously.

Randy began to get flustered as Stu proceeded to take the small statue out of the box, knowing he’d get another harsh telling off if his boss found out it was Randy’s “friends” ruining stock.

“They’re plastic dumbass,” Billy remarked. “It’s practically molded onto their figure.”

“Can you guys please sto-”

Stu snorted. “Well you can take the clothes off Barbie dolls and shit like that, can’t you? They even have parts.. uh- you know?”

“Wha- no, these aren’t like that-”

Randy was cut off once again as Billy spoke up and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the taller male. “You really stripped the clothes off of dolls just to investigate when you were a kid?”

Randy and Billy both shared the same look as Stu grinned wickedly.

…

And then it came. “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” Yep. Classic Stu.

• Wherever this mf goes, he always ends up eating a bag of potato chips. Nor you or his friends know where he pulls them from, but he does, he just does..

BILLY

• There is so much I could say about Billy Boy here..

(He’d most likely tell you to go fuck yourself if you called him that. Well, depending on who you are lmao)

• If you are the kind of person who loves that shitty trending pop music, you are probably better off hanging out with Stu for the day. Because Billy HATES it.

• He’s not particularly into heavy metal, i’d say more grunge. Stu bullies him for it but gets an ass whooping later so, eh.

• If he gets woken up in the middle of the night, he’s one cranky fucker about it. This man prioritises his sleep. He almost broke the cable to the house phone after Stu kept calling him one night, complaining on how he couldn’t sleep and that he wanted to go somewhere. After Billy not being able to get back into dreamland, he gave in. Pretty sure Stu ended up choosing the McDonald’s drive thru, much to Billy’s annoyance.

(That shit happens way too often but hey, who doesn’t like late night drives?)

• Billy wants a piercing but at the same time, he doesn’t? He’s not sure if he can really commit to it or not, but he does think people with piercings are cool!

• Plus his Dad would probably kick him out over something as stupid as that. Billy would just tell him to get bent either way lol.

• He can be quite a germaphobe. Sick people scare the living FUCK out of him.

• You have a cold? Aw, pity. DO. NOT. APPROACH. BILLY. LOOMIS.

• Stu accidentally sneezed on him once and Billy literally felt his heart stop. He showered about three times that day.. maybe more? Fuck knows, man.. 😭

MICKEY

• Something about him and the song Paparazzi.. IDK WHAT IT IS BUT IT JUST.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• He’s very open about his opinions, as we all know. If you dissed his fav movie or TV show, bam bam bitch he’s gonna answer you and he ain’t gonna be so fucking nice about it.. 🫡

• Literal Beyoncé stan. I swear whenever her music is playing and y’all are at a party, he def wants to have a lil boogie with you.

• Mickey is the one person you know to have a weird, WEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIRRRRRD obsession with black coffee..

HE LOVES IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH, YK?

• You, Mickey and Randy were all out at the mall once and some little girl ran up to him saying he looked like Edward Cullen?

Randy just had no idea how kids had the balls to say whatever the fuck they wanted, meanwhile Mickey didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or not..

“Vampires who sparkle like a fucking Hello Kitty sticker? Wow, new name for ya, Mick..” You giggled.

• Really spoiled, bratty girls with all their designer gear is a big no no for him, he just hates them.. 😭

• You catch him watching all the true crime documentaries. He even has books about America’s most popular serial killers. TONS, of books.

STU

• This man, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE FOLKS!!

• Stu is literally every personality combine. Like a lab experiment gone wild, honestly.

• He asks you the weirdest questions sometimes. They are so random and beyond unexpected lol.

“Wait, do you think clowns can also honk their di-”

• Stu has the most ridiculous obsession with boobs. Randy now calls him the titty monster anytime Jamie Lee Curtis shows up in the horror movies they’re watching.

• He was BORN a dog lover.

• Annoys Billy anytime he gets a new girlfriend.

• I can picture him eating anything blue raspberry flavoured he can find. CANDY GOO, BLUE SOUR PATCH KIDS, YOU NAME IT😭😭

• Has the best snack cupboard no one else can compare to having in their house.

• He’s the kind of guy to stick his tongue out to kids in public just so he can get a giggle out of them!

• Loves it when him and the gang go out to the cinema. Which is more often than you’d expect.

• Has like, the LONGEST list of cinema snacks when y’all are paying to get your food.

these men all have their differences, but all expect one thing. THEY BE FINE AS HELLLLLL (anyways, hope you enjoyed this little list of hcs i have for my favs. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!!! :D

[nabinabipumpum]

CAN I BE THE FIRST?-03 ᴹⁱⁿʲⁱ ˣ ᶠ!ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

Pairing - Kim Minji X f!Reader

Genre - Fluffy(?), angst(?), smau + written

Warning - mom and daddy issues, self-acceptance problems, homophobic parents, Y/n doesn't know how to deal with feelings, Minji thinks loudly(?)

Previous | Masterlist | Next

3 months ago…

After the meeting with NewJeans, everyone was in the minivan heading to the dorm, the four girls were talking animatedly as always while Y/n looked out the window, normally listening to music, but her mind was too far away to really listen to anything. Minji and Danielle's laughter went through her head, not knowing why she felt this way, she still thought it was just something that would pass, after all, everyone gets nervous around pretty girls. No, she never felt that way about anyone, she was just nervous because she was a fan of the group and having them so close made her uncomfortable. She completely ignored the heat in her body when she thought that maybe she was attracted, that wasn't true. A slight shake of her head to try to dispel that thought didn't go unnoticed by Miya, who was next to the feline girl.

“Is everything okay baby?” Y/n looked at the puppy dog look that the older girl gave her from the corner of her eyes.

“Yeah, just sleepy, you know.” lied, Y/n became great at lying. Who can blame her?

After a few minutes they arrived at the dormitory. The 5 of them sat in the living room as they talked about how cool it would be now that they also followed NewJeans. They were already friends with the girls from Le Sserafim, so they finally formed a complete group.

“Hyein looks so cool, even though she's young, she has a cool mood” Soorin smiled as she opened her bag of chips.

“Oh yeah, Hanni is your friend too, she’s so nice.” Miya had a can of soda with her.

“I think someone liked Dani too.” it was obvious that Hari would mention this.

“Did you really think Dani was cute, Kitty?” Mary looked at her, smiling lightly, finding it amusing.

"What? No… she… she just approached me and out of the blue… I'm her fan, that's all… I don't like girls anyway.” played with the her of his shirt

“Really?" why did Soorin look so surprised? “Stop annoying her” Mary diverted her attention. Just like a mother.

“Let's see Barbie” Miya shouted.

Two days after that, another performance brought the two groups to gether. Again, Y/n just watched as everyone talked, absorbing information. But her brain stopped thinking when she had the slightest exchange of glances with Minji. Her body heated up and she didn't understand why. She normally doesn't break eye contact, but why did she this time? She doesn't know, Minji has confused her mind without a single word.

“Hey, you’re quieter than Haerin.” Dani smiled as she sat down next to Y/n, not getting a real word in response, just a nod.

“Is it weird for you that all of your members are extroverted?” She smiled so warmly, Y/n didn't feel nervous.

“It’s different…” she agreed silently, waiting for more words “I got used to it.”

“I understand, I’m sorry if I made you shy the first time, you seem like a nice person.” Y/n agreed, opened her mouth to say something but a loud noise scared her.

“Bro, are you okay?” Hanni watched as Minji picked up the water bottle from the floor.

“Yes, it slipped out of my hand.” The conversations quickly resumed.

“Well, what were you going to say?” she caught his eyes again.

“You too… look cool” she murmured, but loud enough for the taller one to hear.

“OH MY GOD, you're so cute” basically screamed the last part, as she actually screamed the first one, which made everyone look at her. Y/n flinched but laughed lightly as she nodded as Danielle continued to throw a fit of cuteness. “Really cute” Minji muttered softly without thinking, but Hanni and Hari heard her, casting a sideways glance as Hanni smiled mischievously.

After that day the two groups really became close, Soorin was already friends with Hanni, but she became friends with the other 4 just as easily. It took Y/n a while to speak more than a whisper, but with the help of Mary and Miya, she managed, of course Dani and Hyein also always tried to talk to her more. Within two weeks, everyone was communicating on Twitter like old friends, even the two feline girls.

Y/n laughed lightly as Haerin showed Miya's answer. The two girls were choosing books and CDs at a random store near their dorms, which luckily (or not), were in the same building. Haerin looked at Y/n for a few seconds as she seemed focused on choosing books, until she finally showed one, displaying it with a trophy.

“That one looks cool, right?” the youngest agreed “What did you choose?”

“I just liked this CD, it looks cool, I hope it’s good.” showed the cover.

“Ashnikko? I didn’t know they sold her stuff around here, maybe you’ll like it, but don’t put it too high.” Haerin looked at the girl with confusion in her eyes “Many songs are explicit”

“Oh” the feline looked at the CD “Do you think I should change it?” the older one slowly agreed, “Ok.”

After helping each other look for more things, the two left and walked towards the dorms, happy with their new achievements.

“Unnie, can I ask you something?” the girl with black hair suddenly stopped when she heard the girl with slightly red hair now.

“It looks serious.”

“Not exactly, do you like Dani-unnie?” Y/n stared for a few seconds before laughing.

“Why do you think that?” they started walking again

“Well, just from the way you approached each other, almost everyone thinks so.”

“Almost everyone?”

“Minji-unnie of refusal”

“No, I don’t like Dani, do you like her?”

“No either, we’re just friends”

“That is good"

"That is?"

“Maybe, you’ll find out.”

After that day, Y/n and Haerin became a beautiful duo, with some staff and idols wondering if they were a couple. The answer was obviously no. Y/n saw her as a little sister, even though she was only 1 year younger, she felt like she should protect Haerin, maybe because she saw herself in her and was afraid that she would end up destroyed too.

“You and Y/n are really close now.” Minji handed a bottle of water to the smaller girl who laughed a little.

“We’re good friends, are you jealous?”

“From you? Obviously not”

“Not from me, from her.”

Yes, Minji was.

Y/n and Minji were side by side on the couch, both tired from the performance again.

“She looks pretty even though she’s tired and sweaty.” Minji thought, actually she muttered, what else should I say? Y/n has excellent hearing.

"Thanks." she muttered before taking another sip.

Minji stopped and felt her face heat up. Y/n felt the same, but she ignored it, she should have ignored it, she wasn't gay. Right?

When she arrived in her room, Kitty slammed the door a little too hard, which caught the attention of her other members, but they ended up not going to ask because they just thought she was in a bad mood, that was true, she was in a bad mood. Her mother always said that homosexual people go to hell, she didn't want to go to hell, the image of her mother flashed through her head, screaming about the vision she had.

-(“Are you crazy? Why were you so close to her?”

“We were just hugging, she’s the physical stock type, like my cousin”

“You know this girl kisses other girls, right? She’ll take you to hell with her!”

"Hell…")-

She doesn't want to go to hell, but what if it was because of Kim Minji?

A/N: All photos of girls are more for the imagination of the photos, not necessarily the characters will be the same as them. If anything is written wrong, I'm sorry, but it's Google's fault

Taglist 🏷️ (open): @gtfoiydlyj @cloudinwjns @yncoreee @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @ourlovesarang

[senoraackerman]

You & Nanami dating HC’s

If I had to do Gojo, I have to do Nanami as well. It’s the law

WARNINGS: none

•My babygirl nanami

•So kind and thoughtful

•Will ask you to tie his tie for him

•Eats you out anyday, everyday (go see my nanami pleasing you hc’s 🤭 *shameless promo*)

•Will buy you the thing you told him about months ago

•HE REMEMBERS 😩

•Loves writing you letters in your lunch bag before you go to work

•A little “hey hun, I hope work goes good. I love you- N”

•Tell me that is NOT so cute

•Y’all always talk things through when you both argue

•He doesn’t like ending things on a bad note

•Worsens your addiction of reading

•He will buy you any book you want.

•You both read the same books and write annotations on it, before switching to see what you wrote

•Loves when you draw little things on his newspaper (minus the penis you drew on the cartoon section. He did not find that funny. He is making sure you don’t hang out with Gojo anymore)

•You send him voice notes randomly. It can literally be “I’m taking a shit. Don’t call me”

•He sends a voice note back “Thanks for letting me know. I won’t enter the restroom when I come back from work.”

•Bro it ain’t even smell that bad wtf 😭

•Loves watching documentaries with you

•Especially the discovery channel on Disney plus (another shameless promo of my “going to the zoo with nanami hc”)

•You are his wallpaper. You happen to be looking at a painting in the art museum

•He is your wallpaper. Him being bombarded with butterflies from the date you guys went on a while ago

•Boosts your delusions

•“Did you see the way she looked at me?”

•Homie AGREES “Yeah, that was strange. What’s her problem?”

•Likes having painting dates with you.

•You painted a cute little snake and he painted a piece of bread. (Why’d his lowk look good…..)

•Will get you a blanket of your celebrity crush. Hands it to you all nonchalantly.

•Chris Evans blanket?

•Tell me why you both sleep with it 😭

•Will watch you play video games on your PlayStation

•Gets you another blanket of your crush on it

•Ghost from COD

•You ask him to cosplay as Ghost, not expecting he would actually do it as a surprise.

•The mask stays ON

•Makes the bed every morning

•Buys you your favorite snacks

•Matching Pjs because I said so

•Loves watching soccer matches with you; loves seeing you all angry at the tv (he finds it funny but doesn’t tell you that cause you will whoop him)

•Likes when you teach him your culture

•Spanish lessons? Yes 100% for you

•Dressed up with you to watch the Barbie movie

•You’re everything, he’s just ken.

•This is why nanami is SO babygirl.

•Ugh I love him

—————

A/N:

Requests are open! Please feel free to say something

The way this has more HC’s than gojos. I can’t help it, I’m a Nanamin stan by default.

Also these are the blankets I had in mind

IM SOBBING AT THE GHOST ONE WHY HE LOOK LIKE THAT

[jigujellee]

NEWJEANS AS JEALOUS GFS HEADCANNONS

a/n: just a fun lil attempt at hcs since i rarely do them,, to whoever requested this, i hope u enjoy my attempt 🥹 i'm sorry if they're not accurate jaldfadlfljdf

a/n 2: pics are not mine!! links to layouts used are listed below w respected @ <33

MINJI (pic/layout creds courtesy of @k1sseo)

so bro™️

i think when minji gets jealous she’s just quiet

and she could get a little snarky sometimes, but just a smidge

minji didn’t expect to come home to you and hyein laughing your asses off at some random tiktok you were showing her

for some reason she was very bothered by it even tho you guys were naturally close

you kinda took awhile to notice her standing there but you once you did, you were quick to wrap your arms around her

she’ll play it off and act normal but she’s def quiet and i think she’d look like she’s deep in thought about something

so when you ask her to do something with you, that’s when light bulbs go off

“hey wanna go grab lunch later” “idk why don’t you go with hyein instead”

then you drag her to lunch anyway and endlessly tease her for being jealous in the first place

you also tease her ab the fact that she got jealous over the YOUNGEST member 😭 like ma’am, you think we’re gonna catch a case????

“i didn’t press you for the jealous type bro” “just shut up and eat”

HANNI (pic/layout creds courtesy of @winuary)

every time i see/think of this girl she’s always smiling

so i think when she gets jealous she’ll still be smiling but like it’s def forced and looks fake

or if she’s not smiling then she 100% looks like this from that one live they did

either way that shit makes her stomach feel weird deep down

she’ll watch you and minji just monitoring your dance practice but you guys are just way too close together and minji’s shoulders brush against yours and-

“hanni, you okay? you’ve been zoning out for a while” and she just smiles again and plays it off

you knew something was up so when you’re back at the dorms that’s when you ask her and she shyly admits that seeing you that close w minji made her feel uneasy

you kiss her forehead softly and tell her she has nothing to worry about before pulling her into bed and cuddling w her for the entire night (even if ur arm goes incredibly numb cuz girlie does not move an inch away from u)

DANIELLE (pic/layout creds courtesy of @i04rei)

dani wears her heart on her sleeve she’s adorable

so yk she’s jealous right away

you and hanni just came back from the mall and you are literally so happy

dani loves it when ur happy!! but it also makes her kind of sad that she’s not the one making u laugh and smile like that :(

she’s pouting while on her phone and u immediately take notice

“are u watching sad edits of cats again?” “naURRRR”

“you just seem awfully happy when you’re w hanni” “well yes bc shes my friend” more pouting and ur just trying not to melt at how cute she is

“how about we go to our fav cafe tmrw after our sched and then we can go watch the barbie movie after?” “but you don’t like barbie” “i don’t like a lot of things but if you like them, then i’d be more than happy to do them with you”

she just melts and forgets all ab what happened earlier

ft. hanni minji and hyein in the background trying not to gag out loud

HAERIN (pic/layout creds courtesy of @venitly)

radio silence.

she’s already naturally quiet as is and she def does not speak her emotions compared to the others

so it takes you a little longer to figure out when she’s jealous vs the other members

after finishing a movie w danielle, she just blankly watches the two of you have deep conversations ab it

and honestly you confuse her jealous silence for her normal silence at first

but you start realizing the difference when she’s less affectionate with you (bc behind closed doors i think haerin is so affectionate like she deadass wont let go of you and is so touchy, needs to be holding you or be in close proximity w you)

“haerin, are you okay?” and she just nods. girl pls give us something to work with

she never really openly admits that she was jealous of you and dani but ur smart genius self put two and two together and connected the dots when u saw she was quiet around dani too but not the others

but bc she never outwardly said it, you don’t outwardly tell her not to worry or not to be jealous. instead you spend more time w her and getting her her fav snacks and whatnot and she appreciates it so much

haerin likes how you don’t need to be told when something bothers her, and when you figure it out, you always knew how to make her feel better without words

actions do speak louder than words and haerin knows how true that is with you

HYEIN (pic/layout creds courtesy of @v-ico)

i’m gonna go for a platonic type of jealousy for hyein

she wanted to show u a new app she downloaded but u told her u were busy learning the new choreo from haerin

and she just whines

not like an annoying child throwing a tantrum kinda whine but just in a “why do u alw have sumn better to do” typa way

when u finish w haerin ur quick to go back to the dorms to see hyein napping

and u lowk feel bad bc all she wanted to do was show u sumn

u decide to let her sleep but ur idiot self banged ur hand on her door while trying to close it and now u feel bad even more bc she woke up

“you’re back alr unnie?” “yeah i came here quickly so you could show me the app”

hyein is super excited even tho she jus woke up, and shes reaching for her phone and is tapping thru w such speed

you both spend hours on the app (i keep saying the app bc idk what kinda app it would be 💀 im thinking either a game or a photo filter app idk) before ur both scolded by minji for being on the phone all day

it’s literally giving when ur little sibling just wants to show u sumn cool but ur too busy and u feel bad

[fandomnsfw]

Doll House - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Prompt: Doll House by Melanie Martinez

Warning: None really...a little blood I guess? Mainly Fluff

Thank you to my Beta @lets-imagine-fanfics once again for fixing my screw ups! XD

ENJOY!!

******

You walked into the school, a smile firmly placed on your face as the girls spoke about their weekend. Jenny was talking about her date with Mark while Anna was laughing about something Hayley had said. You spotted your brother across the hall and waved as the girls started swooning over him.  

“Hey, big bro. How was practice?” You asked with a sweet smile.  

“It was good. Hey, what time is mom co-”  

“Yo, Xavier, you forgot your phone!” You heard a voice exclaim as he spluttered out the changing room.  

“Thanks, Stilinski.” Your brother laughed before pocketing his phone.  

“Hi Y/N.” Stiles muttered with a grin.  

“Hi, Stiles.” You giggled as he ran his hands through his hair which was still wet, from what you guessed was the showers. You walked off with the other girls who instantly started gossiping about your brother.  

“I dunno about Xavier but Stiles got hot recently.” Anna sighed, fanning herself before bursting into a fit of laughter along with the other girls.  

“Anna’s right, Stilinski buffed up and grew his hair out. He looked like the perfect guy, I mean if you get rid of the spazziness.” Jenny snorted, as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.  

“I gotta go grab something from my car before class, I’ll see you later!” You exclaimed cheerfully before making your way to your car.  

You took out a packet of cigarettes lighting one up before taking a much-needed drag. You felt yourself instantly relax. It wasn’t like you hated your friend it’s just they were very superficial and you had enough superficial people in your life to know that you’d never have true friends as long as you kept them around. You glanced at your phone as you took another drag from the cigarette.  

Mom - ‘Going out tonight won’t be back till late. Use the credit card to eat out.’  

Dad – ‘Working late tonight.’  

You snorted as you read your parent’s texts before throwing your phone into your Prada handbag. As you took another drag you heard someone speak from behind you.  

“You know that’s bad for you right?” You’d recognise that voice anywhere. That voice was attached to the man you’d fantasised about on a regular basis. Stiles Stilinski.  

“You know it’s rude to pry right?” You snarled as you took another drag.  

“Oh, so now that your friends and brother aren’t round you show your true colours.” He snorted sarcastically.  

“No, more like I don’t feel the need to act like a fake Barbie doll now my friends aren’t around.” You sighed as crouched down.  

“I used to know someone like you.” He chuckled, as he squatted down in front of you.  

“Lydia Martin.” You huffed with a laugh.  

“The love of Stiles Stilinski’s life.” You added sarcastically.  

“Oh, so you heard about that?” Stiles laughed, running his hands through his slowly drying hair.  

“Everyone knows. It’s also like everyone knows not to touch Lydia now because it’s like a written law that you two will end up together. Small town. People gossip.” You scoffed irritably.  

“Lydia’s in love with someone else. I’m over her. We’re friends. I know you were dating Kieran and everyone kept saying you two were the perfect couple that you’d marry each other straight outta high school but last week you broke up.” Stiles retaliated softly with a sad smile.  

“He didn’t know the real me. Seemed cruel to keep leading him on.” You muttered with a frown as you thought about your parent’s marriage.  

To everyone in this town your family was perfect and rich but behind closed curtains, your entire family was fucked. Your brother smoked weed constantly, your mother was an alcoholic and your father was a cheating piece of shit that brought his mistresses home.  

It’s not a family if you have to pretend.  

“You’re different from what I thought.” Stiles whispered, more to himself than you.  

“Why? Because I’m not perfect?” You huffed with a dark laugh.  

“No. You seem less…Doll-like…I feel like when I see you I’m staring at a fragile doll-like if I touch you or stare too long you’ll break.” Stiles sighs sadly, causing you to stare at him in shock. He hit the nail on the head. You put out your cigarette before glancing up at him with a sad smile.  

“Sometimes the things that go on behind closed doors are things that have to be hidden for the sake of the family.” You replied the words taken from something your mother once told you.  

“If you can’t be true to yourself then you’re not living. You’re just breathing.” Stiles shot you a sympathetic smile that should have pissed you off but somehow it made you smile back.  

“My mom drinks…” You started as you stared at the ground.  

“She does it to forget my dad’s infidelity.” You laughed your tone dark and hateful.  

“That’s fucked up, dude.” Stiles huffed angrily.  

“You’re telling me…My brother started smoking weed last year to deal with it but now it’s like half the time I see him…He’s fucking stoned out his mind.” You whispered, the pain now evident in your voice.  

“I’m the first person you’ve told about this aren’t I?” Stiles muttered as he stood up, holding his hand out so he could help you up.  

“Yeah. I’ve seen you with your friends…You’re loyal. I feel like I can trust you.” You stated as you stared into his eyes looking for any sign you’d just fucked up by telling another person about your fake family.  

“I won’t tell a soul.” Stiles chuckled a big grin on his face.  

“Thanks, Stiles. You’re lucky to have friends and a dad like the Sheriff.” You commented shyly.  

“You know my dad?” Stiles commented confusion in his voice.  

“Yeah, he’s brought back my brother stoned or drunk a few times. Your dad never books him for it because I have a feeling he has an idea what goes on behind closed doors. He’s a good man.” You muttered softly as you remembered the conversation you had with the Sheriff.  

“Thanks. I think so too.” Stiles huffed proudly. You giggled at his expression before walking off.  

“Bye Stilinski!” You chuckled over your shoulder earning an excitable wave from the boy in return.  

Over the next few weeks you hung out with Stiles after school, occasionally some days he couldn’t come due to plans with his friends but if he couldn’t hang he’d text you constantly. You’d grown closer and it made you happy to be able to talk to someone about your problems.  

You got out of your car grabbing your white leather Chanel handbag before spotting Stiles’ jeep pull up. You looked around to check that your friends or brother weren’t about before running up to him and jumping on his back, not realising Scott was at the other side of the car.  

“Good morning Sti.” You giggled as you kissed his cheek.  

“Good morning princess.” He retorted sarcastically before glancing at Scott who was now staring with wide eyes.  

“Stiles, why is Xavier’s baby sister kissing you?” Scott muttered making you now very aware of his presence.  

“I-I only kissed his cheek I m-mean…It’s not l-like I…ya know.” You stuttered nervously as you looked around to check no one else had noticed the display.  

“Hey, Y/N, breath he’s just shocked. He doesn’t care.” Stiles chuckled softly as he ruffled your hair, earning a glare from you as you fixed your hair.  

“No, I don’t mind, just wondered. I didn’t realise you two were friends…Wait! Is this the girls you’ve been texting constantly, that’s had you smiling every 5 seconds.” Scott laughed as he pointed at Stiles with an amused face.  

“No!” Stiles shouted quickly.  

“No!?” You snapped angrily as you glared at him.  

“I mean yes!” Stiles corrected earning an eye roll from both you and Scott.  

“How come you never talk in school?” Scott asked causing you to freeze.  

“I didn’t wanna drag her down to my nerd depths.” Stiles chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  

“Scott’s right, we should talk in school too!” You exclaimed as your heart started thumping nervously.  

“Y/N, you don’t have to-”  

“No, come on you can walk me to my locker!” You giggled plastering a fake smile on your face which you were sure Stiles could decipher by now. You linked arms with him and began walking towards the school.  

“Ha! No.” Stiles shook his arm out of yours shocking you and Scott.  

“I am not walking in there linking arms. I’ll look like your new gay bestie!” Stiles exclaimed dramatically causing you and Scott to burst out laughing. He threw his arm over your shoulder with a grin.  

“And walking in like you’re my new Bae is better?” You snorted as you wrapped your arm around his waist.  

“Don’t ever say Bae again or I’ll disown you but yes it's better.” Stiles laughed sarcastically, earning a slap to his chest from you.  

“I’d rather you really were my boyfriend but ya know.” You muttered under your breath.  

You walked into school with Stiles’ arm slung around you and it took all of 5 seconds before the whispers started. You kept your head up knowing if you lowered it, people would think you had something to be ashamed of.  

Scott glanced at you with wide eyes as if asking if you were okay but you just sent him a smile. He walked you to your locker where your friends were waiting. He gave you a hug before kissing your forehead.  

“Laters, princess.” He chuckled as you shot him a heart-warming smile.  

“Bye.” You whispered shyly and once he was gone the hyenas were on you so fast, you almost didn’t even see them move.  

“You’re dating Stiles!?” Jenny whisper yelled with wide eyes.  

“No.” You muttered quietly wishing you could say yes.  

“Then why did he call you princess and kiss you!?” Anna questioned angrily.  

“He’s a friend of mine.” You answered sweetly, trying to stop yourself from strangling each and every one of them. You ignore the rest of the questions and head to class as you took deep breaths and tried to calm down.  

When lunch came around you were worn out from all the questions from other students had been asking, so when lunch came around you went to the cafeteria and took your food to Stiles’ table. You looked around the table seeing no chairs so you just sat on Stiles’ knee. He made no comment as you started eating your lunch but you could see every one of his friend staring at you.  

“Why is Xavier’s sister sitting at our table?” Liam asked quietly.  

“I have a name too, Dunbar.” You huffed angrily as you shot him a frown.  

“Y/N, right?” Lydia asked sassily.  

“Yes, Lydia.” You answered just as sassily.  

“Woah! What happened to make you all pissy?” Stiles asked as he looked into your eyes.  

“Nothing.” You sighed as you looked away from his intense gaze.  

“Oh no, we’re not doing this again, princess. Tell me.” Stiles sighed his brow furrowing slightly.  

“I’ve been hounded none stop since this morning and I really want a smoke but I promised you I wouldn’t.” You pouted as you glanced at him briefly. Stiles nodded before picking up a fry and holding it to your lips without any more questions.  

“My question is why is she sat on Stiles’ knee?” Malia growled causing you to freeze. You remembered her and Stiles dating for a while but you were sure they’d broken up. Maybe you’d been wrong.  

“Why does that matter?” Jackson huffed obnoxiously.  

“There were no seats and Stiles is single and obviously her friend.” Ethan added earning a nod from Scott.  

You tried not to smile so you shoved another chip in your mouth. Stiles tucked your hair behind your ear sweetly before holding out his water bottle for you. You took it with a thank you before taking a sip. The rest of lunch went like this, though I could tell his friends felt a little awkward. Stiles reassured you they just had to get used to you.  

After you walked to your locker with him, he placed his hand to the side of your head against the locker. You glanced at him in suspicion before he leaned in and whispered in your ear.  

“Your girlfriends are staring from behind their books.” Stiles chuckled against your ear, sending shiver straight down your spine.  

“What, so you thought you’d make my life harder to explain by making it look like your whispering dirty shit in my ear.” You whispered back, purposely brushing your lips against his ear. He pulled back biting his lower lip to try and hide his smile.  

“I mean if you’d like me to make it easier I could totally whisper dirty things in your ear?” Stiles stated with a smirk. You let out a little snort even though you knew your cheeks were likely red but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.  

The rest of the day was filled with more questions and gossip but after spending lunchtime with Stiles you didn’t care. You head was filled with thoughts of him. Stiles had asked if you wanted to have dinner at his but you’d yet to go to Stiles’ house and you were honestly nervous. Would his dad be home? Would his dad like you even though he’d basically arrested your brother more times than you could count?  

At the end of the day, you followed Stiles home in your car with a nauseous feeling in your stomach from nerves but you ignored it as you pulled up and got out with your handbag. Stiles slung his arm over your shoulder which made you laugh remembering earlier in the day.  

You walked into his house following him to what turned out to be the kitchen. He grabbed two soda’s passing you one silently before his dad walked into the kitchen clearly shocked to see you in his kitchen drinking soda.  

“Hi, Y/N.” The Sheriff greeted with a small smile.  

“Hi, Sheriff.” You greeted politely, which made his smile widen.  

“Please call me Noah. I didn’t know you and Stiles were friends?” He questioned as he pulled out a bottle of water.  

“It’s a new development.” You laughed as Stiles looked between you and his dad quietly.  

“Oh, are you the new girl my son has been goi-”  

“Okaaaaay! That’s enough of that pops.” Stiles exclaimed with a glare.  

“Well, it’s good to see Stiles dating again.” The Sheriff huffed with a proud smile.  

“Oh, we’re not dating!” You squeaked with a blush.  

“God, no need to sound so offended.” Stiles snorted sarcastically.  

“The whole school thinks we’re dating if I was offended I’d correct them.” You replied, sticking out your tongue childishly.  

“Why does the whole school think your dating?” The Sheriff asked with a raised brow.  

“Cos Stiles put his arm over my shoulder when we went into school today, then at lunch he p-”  

“THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT!” Stiles shouted rather loudly causing you to jump.  

“Well, that sounds like an eventfully day.” The Sheriff chuckled you nodded cheerfully as he started asking about the rest of your day.  

You sat in the living room with the Sheriff while Stiles made tea. His words were fatherly and caring which made you smile down at your lap happily. He asked about your brother which you awkwardly answered but he didn’t judge you or bring it up after that.  

“So, you like my son?” The Sheriff questioned as he stared at you over his coffee.  

“W-What?” You squealed a blush making its way to your face for what felt like the millionth time that day.  

“He may be blind but I’m not.” The Sheriff chuckled causing you to laugh.  

“Yeah…He’s sweet and he accepts me for who I am even though my family is screwed up. He’s very affectionate too.” You giggle as you remember all the forehead kisses and hugs he’s given you.  

“It appears you’re just as blind as my son.” The Sheriff mumbled making your eyes widen as if you’d miss heard it.  

“Pardon?” You asked politely.  

“Nothing, anyway Stiles should be done soon why don’t we go and sit in the dining room?” The Sheriff asked with a smile. You gave him a nod and followed after him.  

You sat down at the table with the Sheriff as Stiles served up lasagne. After he’d done he stroked your hair. You looked up at him and he kissed your forehead quickly before sitting down. You smiled happily as you dug into the food. Stiles cooking was beyond amazing, which honestly didn’t shock you because you knew his dad worked a lot and his mom wasn’t around so you figured Stiles knew how to cook.  

“This is really good!” He exclaimed with a giggle.  

“It’s my mom’s recipe she taught me how to make it.” Stiles muttered with a smile. You leant over and ran your fingers through his hair before caressing his cheek with your thumb. He glanced over at you with a grin and nodded to you letting you know he’s was fine.  

“You two are so sweet!” You heard a female voice come from behind you. You turned round to see Scott and Mrs McCall stood there.  

“Mrs McCall!” You giggled as you ran over to give her a hug.  

“Hi, sweetie. I didn’t know you and Stiles had started dating.” You let out a dramatic whine as the Sheriff and Stiles started laughing.  

“How do you know my mom?” Scott asked as he sat down with a plate of lasagne.  

“Ermm well…” You flushed as you awkwardly pushed your food around.  

“Y/N wants to be a nurse when she gets older.” Mrs McCall supplied while wiping sauce off the Sheriff's cheek causing him to grin.  

“Really? You never told me that.” Stiles gasped as he reached out to hold your hand.  

“This town is kinda accident prone so I want to be able to help people.” You giggled but for some reason everyone froze, causing you to frown. You felt like there was something you should know but you decided to leave it for now and ask Stiles later.  

A few seconds later there was a knock at the door you stood telling them you’d get it but what stood at the door shocked you to your core. There stood Jackson and Ethan holding a bleeding man that looked vaguely familiar.  

“Oh my god! Get him in here!” You screamed urgently.  

“Stiles, can you get me warm water, alcohol and a towel please!” You screamed as they laid the man down on the couch.  

“Wh- OH MY GOD, DEREK!” Stiles screamed as he ran up to the man.  

“STILES TOWEL, WATER, ALCOHOL GO!” You screamed as you ripped off Derek’s shirt seeing several slash wounds it looked like an animal had mauled him.  

“MELISSA, I NEED YOUR HELP!” You screamed as you took off your cardigan and held it to the worst wound. Melissa ran in with Stiles following. You took the towel and water before cleaning most of the blood when you’d done you grabbed the alcohol and looked up at Jackson and Scott.  

“Hold him down.” Was all you needed to say before you began cleaning the wounds with alcohol the man thrashed around and roared but right now the fact that this man had glowing blue eyes wasn’t a problem or something you could get scared of, right now you needed to stop his bleeding.  

“Ethan, hold his legs.” You screamed as his legs started kicking around.  

“Melissa, hold this for now.” You said pointing to the cardigan on the vastly bleeding cut.  

“I need you to tell me how to help him. He’s obviously not human and right now I have no idea whether I should call an ambulance or wait.” You sighed as you looked at Stiles.  

“Werewolf. He’ll heal fast.” Stiles muttered but instead of questioning you nodded and turned to the Sheriff.  

“I need a needle, lighter and thread. Even if he heals faster, it’s not going to stop bleeding until I close it.” You stated softly before turning to Melissa.  

“I think we should stitch this one then bandage his torso just until the bleeding stops.” You muttered softly as if asking for her approval.  

“Well done, Y/N.” She muttered in a soft motherly tone that made you smile.  

After Melissa stitched him up and bandaged him, Derek passed out. You picked up the remaining vodka and took a swing earning a raised eyebrow from the Sheriff. You stood up and crossed your arms.  

“I just tended to a bleeding dying man who turned out to be a werewolf. I think I deserve it.” You sighed before turning to Stiles.  

“Explain. Now.” You snapped angrily. You weren’t angry because Stiles associated with werewolves you were angry because he didn’t tell you. You had thought he trusted you.  

“That is Derek Hale. He’s a werewolf.” He stated simply with an awkward smile.  

“That much I already figured out myself, thanks. How many of your friends are wolves?” You sighed knowing that going back a few years Stiles wouldn’t have been seen dead with Jackson but now it was like they had mutual trust.  

“That’s not my secret to tell.” Stiles sighed softly.  

“Scott, your one right?” You questioned as you turned to him.  

“How?”  

“My brother has been playing lacrosse with you since freshmen year. You don’t think I noticed when you went from asthmatic and benched to first line with perfect health and reflexes?” You snorted before turning to Jackson and Ethan.  

“Ethan and his brother turned up when people started dying last year. I’m gonna go with your one and Jackson…You and Stiles used to hate each other and now you seem to have this weird mutual understanding. So I’m gonna go with you too. So that leaves you.” You pointed to Stiles.  

“What, you can’t suss me out?” Stiles chuckled with his arms crossed.  

“No, I can’t.” You muttered angrily as you glanced at Melissa you way wiping away Derek’s sweat.  

“Derek Hale. Cora Hales big brother and has an Uncle called Peter. The family died in a fire 12 years ago.” You muttered as you stared at the man.  

“How do you know that?” Stiles asked suspiciously.  

“Laura used to babysit me…” You whispered sadly as you remembered hearing about her death nearly 2 years ago.  

“Derek probably doesn’t remember me. We only met once or twice.” You snorted as you remembered the huge crush you used to have on him.  

“I used to have a huge crush on him. He’s grown a lot since I saw him so I didn’t recognise him until you said his name.” You muttered as you remembered all the times Laura teased you.  

“Why does everyone seem to like Derek Hale!?” Stiles grumbled childishly.  

“Because he’s hot.” You, Melissa, Ethan and Jackson said at the same time.  

“Objectifying a man while he’s passed out from blood loss. Classy, Y/N.” You heard a gruff voice mumbled. You looked down to see Derek with one eye open.  

“I was taught by the best.” You chuckled before you felt an arm wrap around you. You looked to see Stiles glaring at Derek who raised an eyebrow at you.  

“No, we’re not dating!” You snapped at him but he sent you a smirk.  

“Shut up, I don’t need your opinionated facial expressions, Hale.” You huffed as Stiles snorted next to you, before kissing your temple affectionately  

“You grew up.” Derek huffed  

“I feel old.” He added making you laugh.  

“So who runs the pack?” You asked softly as you glanced at Stiles. Stiles raised an eyebrow at you as if asking how you’d know that a pack needs a leader.  

“I read a lot of werewolf romance novels, okay? Don’t judge me!” You huffed with a blush as everyone laughed at you.  

“That would be me.” Scott chuckled but his answer had your jaw hitting the floor.  

“Scott McCall is an Alpha?” You gasped.  

Months after finding out you’d been accepted into the pack as another human member. You had settled in with everyone else, you finally stopped caring about fake friends and pretending to be someone else.  

You were currently sat at a pack meeting with Scott talking away about a pack that had asked permission to pass through. You’d zoned out to stare at Stiles who was sat next to Scott with a serious expression. He ran his hands through his hair before biting his lip in what looked to be stressed out manner.  

Once the meeting was over you grabbed yourself a water from Derek’s kitchen with a sigh. You wanted to tell Stiles how you felt but you had no idea how. Maybe you should just kiss him? Or jump his bones?  

You laughed at the thought, earning a raised eyebrow from Derek who had come to put the coffee pot on. You shot him a grin before skipping back to the living room. The pack were setting up a film so you sought out Stiles, spotting him sat in the corner of one of the couches.  

You sat on his knee then looked up at him with a smile which he returned. You decided while the pack was busy you’d make your move. You leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before turning to the film with a blush creeping up your neck. However, as you finally started calming your heart, you were picked up.  

“We’ll be back in a minute.” Stile stated as he carried you to the kitchen bridal style.  

“Wanna tell me what just happened?” Stile asked seriously which honestly scared you.  

“I-I kissed you?” You supplied, though it came out more like a question.  

“Why?” He asked just as seriously as before.  

“Because I like you…if not m-more than th-that…” you stuttered your blush coming back tenfold. Just as you were about to get down Stiles cupped both your cheeks and planted a passionate kiss on your lips before pulling back and gazing into your eyes.  

“Thank god. I’ve wanted to do that for forever.” Stiles sighed before placing another kiss on your lips.  

“Would you do the honour of being my official girlfriend?” Stiles muttered with a small hopeful smile.  

“I would love to Sti.” You giggled happily.  

[call-me-maggie13]

What’s it like working in a male-dominated environment where everyone is between the ages of 17 & 24? I’m so glad you asked.

“Hey, how do I professionally tell [district manager] this ain’t it, Chief?” - my 19yr old site manager

“Bug race. Bug race. Bug race. Bug race.” - this chant went on for 40 minutes while they scoured for bugs to race in a maze they’d built

“Is my [literally anything] supposed to do this? {proceeds to show themselves doing something that they definitely should not be able to do} It kinda hurts when I do.”

[random screaming]

“What would happen if I ate this?”

{new guy tries to be chivalrous and hold the door for me} “dude, why’d you do that?”

“Because gentlemen hold the doors for ladies?”

“Man, she ain’t a lady. She’s Maggie. Doesn’t count.”

“Pulp fiction isn’t even a good movie.” - this got me kicked out of the group chat for three weeks

In the group chat: [monkey meme] [monkey gif] [monkey stock photo] [monkey trivia fact] [monkey video] [link to monkey video on YouTube] “munky munky”

“Maggie, my girl is mad at me and I can’t figure out why.”

“are you asking her bc she’s a girl?”

“No dude, I’m asking her bc she’s smarter than us.”

“I don’t think I’m straight. Have you seen Ryan Reynolds? Yeah… I don’t know anymore.”

“Did you know the new soap dyes your hands Barbie pink?” [holds up bright pink hands] cause I just found out!”

[more on the previous one] “bro that’s not Barbie pink, that’s fuschia!”

“No it’s not!” {argues back and forth before new guy joins in}

“I think it’s more of a periwinkle.”

“Bro, periwinkle is a purple. Have you never looked at a color before in your life?”

[random projectile flies past my head] “shit! Incoming!”

[random push-up contest]

“Do you think my dog knows I would die for her?”

“You guys know when [vague hand movement] just kinda [even vaguer hand movement] and you just [weird and vague hand movement]?”

“Bro, yes.”

“What were you listening to in your car when I pulled up?” [proudly] “the cheetah girls, bro!”

“Do you think I could take a badger in a fight?”

[random period of absolute silence that either lasts forever or is ended by a random scream]

[someone finds a stick] “you shall not pass”

“You are what you eat, right?”

“Bro what? We’re talking about baseball.”

After the entire staff had heard about me making friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert, I had 4 (out of 6) of them ask me to make them one.

“Do you ever just [like two minutes of complete silence], ya know?”

“I don’t think meeting God could even compete, dude.” - I have no context for this statement

“Sometimes, I just [heavy sigh] and sometimes it’s enough.”

“I need new songs to scream in my car.” [shows them Cruel Summer and DBATC by Taylor Swift] “Dude, make me a playlist. I need more songs like these!”

[loud clattering] “Oh shit. Don’t tell, [manager].”

Manager : “what’d you break?”

“Who decided our company mascot should be a pigeon?”

Manager gives vague answer about corporate and how we’re a car wash so it makes sense.

“Well, they’re dumb. I think our mascot should be a racecar.”

“Do you think I would get workers comp if I had a mental breakdown?”

“No.”

“Damn. Imma reschedule it for my day off then. Hey, [manager], can I have two days off back to back next week?”

“Do I get commission for the customers I scare away?”

“That’s the opposite of how commission works.”

“Well, I’m up to three today.”

[random old guy makes a comment about how women shouldn’t try to do a man’s job] “dude, acting like a dick doesn’t make yours any bigger.”

“Does anyone wanna watch Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper with me on Tuesday?” [everyone said yes] - we’re going to see the new Barbie movie together for “team bonding”

“Did you know that if you do this [proceeds to do some weird flippy thing that makes him fall], you can bruise all your ribs at the same time?”

After seeing a video of Taylor Swift diving into the stage at the Eras Tour : “dude, it’s a really good thing she’s a singer and not a swimmer because that was a bellyflop.”

“Wait. Is Hozier a lesbian?” - I have no context for this question

“If I was a worm, you guys would still play COD with me right?”

“No. We’d lose.”

“We could team up against him and beat his worm-ass!”

“Shit yeah! Then yes.”

[random dancing]

“I wanna jump in that puddle…”

“then jump in it?”

“Ok bet” [spends the last five minutes of his shift splashing in a mud puddle]

“Dude, my [12 year old] sister just got dumped by her boyfriend, what do I do?”

“Take her on a date, dude. I take my sisters out all the time because they should know how a dude should treat them.”

[random trauma dumping] “but yeah, lmao, right?”

Me: [chillin] [randomly gets picked up and carried] - this is an action I have approved, it is both hilarious and fun

“Don’t be weird about it, bro.”

“I’m not gunna be weird about it, bro.” [proceeds to be absolutely weird about it]

“What’s your favorite candy?” [tells them] [receives a two pound bag of my favorite candy the next day] “I’m sorry I yelled at you last week.”

[after he was invited to a party with drugs & alcohol] “My therapist said I shouldn’t do that anymore. It’s shit for my mental health.”

“Okay, bro. We can just play COD instead.”

[randomly tackling each other in the grass]

“Dude, I love you so much, bro. You’re an awesome guy to be friends with.” [proceeds to smack each other back and forth for like three minutes straight]

[complaining about how his seven-month-old is going through a sleep regression and he hasn’t slept more than two hours in a week] “dude, that sucks. I can ask my mom for tips, if you want?”

[random video clip sent in group chat] “wait, Maggie don’t watch that” [watches it anyways] “bro, that’s a video of you and your cat playing peek-a-boo, why couldn’t I watch that?” - I never got a response

[quiet giggling] manager: “what are you doing?”

“Nothing!” - they were hiding his clipboard

“Bro, Taylor Swift probably wrote a song about it.”

“That was literally so homophobic, it’s homoerotic.”

[in the group chat] “Y’all, I have news.” [all but one person responds asking about it] “I wanna wait until everyone responds” [four hours later, the last person responds asking about it] [ten minutes of silence] “oh, yeah. I’m gay.” - this man has been out for over a decade. Everyone already knew. This was not news.

[random tiktok link] [random tiktok link] [random tiktok link]

“Does anyone know how to use epilepsy?”

“Epilepsy? The seizure thing?”

“No the three dots.”

“Bro, that’s ellipsis.”

“I thought that was the exercise machine.”

“No, that’s an elliptical.” - I know this is a tiktok trend now, but this entire conversation was dead serious

“Do I need to go to the hospital if I got bit by a squirrel?” [everyone yells at him to go to the ER] [someone asks how he got bit by a squirrel] “I wanted to know if they were as fluffy as they look.” - he has confirmed that they are, indeed, as fluffy as they look but you most certainly should never attempt to pet a squirrel

“Bro look at this” [picture of something brutal and gory] “isn’t that cool?”

“I think I could be a professional driver.”

“Didn’t you break your axel by hitting a curb?”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t drive.”

[doiesfav]

Barbie or Oppenheimer - WAYV VERSION

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/n: stay tuned for dream version! And remember this is fiction and is just my point of view.

MASTERLIST

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kun

Believe me or not, this guy is watching barbie 100%, I mean he is literally barbie. Although the members would make fun of him (joking ofc) for not watching Oppenheimer lmaoo, also he would rock with the pink outfit he's gonna wear.

Ten

What do you think? Barbie ofc! Bro would do a commentary in the middle of the movie with someone LMAO, also when finished watching the movie would learn the ken dance thingy because he's in love with Ken (as he should)

Winwin

This mf would watch Oppenheimer but just because he's shy to go watch barbie alone, and if he did bro wouldn't even dress up in pink 😭He's just a shy pookie, I'll let him pass this.

Xiaojun

BRO, this guy is going to watch barbie as if it was the most important event in the world. Also would appear in the hottest pink clothes with Bella, bella is gonna wear pink clothes and maybe shiny shits matching with Xiaojun.

Hendery

I mean he would find Oppenheimer boring just by looking at what the movie is about so why not Barbie? After watching the movie he's gonna feel like Barbie and say ''Hey Barbie'' with that tone to every person he meets.

Yangyang

He would fall in love with Barbie and then buy a cd to play it at home. Also, he prob had old barbie dolls when he was a kid idfk why but I feel it and this guy is gonna buy a poster that says ''Mojo Dojo Casa House'' in his room.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thanks for the support and would appreciate reblog or follow!

[ru-fiction]

Playground Rivals: Ken x Male Reader

Chapter 2

Raquelle watched Barbie pull her younger sibling in, whispering something she couldn't hear. It bothered her to see them close, she knew they were friendly towards each other but her brother would tell her if he was friends with Barbie....

Right?

Raquelle watched as the smile on Barbie's face fell.

Raquelle had never seen a Barbie that wasn't smiling.

She found it annoying how they could be so happy when everyone else wasn't.

But she had never known her brother to hurt anyone.

At least not maliciously.

Barbie slowly drops Y/n's hands, backing up slowly. For a small moment she looked embarrassed but she quickly covered it up with a smile.

Kens usually did what the Barbies asked no matter what the task was, It was rare for them to say no but when they did, Barbie would just ask someone else.

Raquelle ignored this specific Barbie all the time, other Barbies mostly avoided her.

They had to have been friends. Raquelle wasn't stupid, that was too strong a reaction for them to not be.

Ken noticed Raquelle watching the two dolls in front of her. He tapped Y/n's shoulder nodding his head to the brunette. The boy turned to look at his sister, Her eyes widened at what she saw, he had covered it up with a smile and a wave but for a split second he looked....

Sad?

She lifted her finger gesturing for him to come back. Y/n gave Barbie a sad smile before heading back to his siblings, Ice cream in hand.

Raquelle stood as her brother and Ken approached. Ken took one of the plastic sundaes from Y/n and handed it to Raquelle, Y/n took the plastic ice cream cone away from him and handed the other sundae to Ryan who gave it to the Midge he was talking to.

"Thanks, Ken. Appreciate your help."

Ken smiles at Y/n, happy to have someone noticed his help.

"Happy to help."

Raquelle puts her arm around her brother.

"Alright. We're headed out."

Ryan turns to his sister annoyed, she was interrupting his conversation with Midge.

"Really, Raquelle. You wanna leave now."

"Yes, let's go."

"Ugh."

He gave her an annoyed look before shrugging, he smiled at Midge getting a smile back.

"You said it was tonight right?"

He gives her a wink and earns a giggle in return.

"Yeah, I hope I'll see you there."

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The drive to the house was quiet. Ryan kept trying to turn the radio on but stopped the moment Raquelle turned her icy stare on him.

Once they pulled into the lawn, Y/n quickly exited the car and headed to his room. Raquelle walked towards her cheetah printed couch, falling into it and letting out an exasperated sigh. Ryan made his way over to his twin and sat next to her.

"What's up sis?"

"Do you think we're being controlling?"

"Pfft, Pfft."

Ryan looked at Raquelle, one look in her eyes and he could see she was really battling with this.

"How could you think that?"

"How could you not think that?"

Raquelle was an insecure doll.

She tried hard to hide it but every now and then the mask slipped.

Ryan tried everything he could to talk her down when moments like this happened but sometimes even he couldn't help and that sucked.

Raquelle's face fell into her hands and her shoulders started to shake. Ryan got closer and pulled her into him, placing his head on top of hers.

People didn't cry in Barbieland and why should they? this was a happy place.

This should be a happy place.

"I just wish there was something I could do to make you guys feel better."

"This is enough."

"What about Y/n?"

Raquelle pulls back from her brother, a little glint in her tear soaked eyes.

"I think...I think I have an idea."

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Knock Knock

Y/n looks up from strumming his guitar watching the door to his room open revealing his brother.

"Hey little bro. I'm going for a little drive before the show and wanted to know if you wanted to ride."

The (h/c) haired boy thought about it for a second, He started to climb out of his bed and played his guitar back in its case. He went to his closet choosing to wear a dress shirt that was half red and half black, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a pair of black jeans and some dress shoes.

The boy headed towards the door, ready to leave. Ryan stopped the younger boy and handed him his plastic cologne bottle.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Ryan chuckles pushing his brother towards the front door.

The two climbed into Ryan's car and pulled out of the driveway. The sky was dark when they left the mansion.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Y/n looked out the window with a smile on his face, Barbieland was beautiful even under the moonlight. As the car pulled into the beach, Y/n looked around in confusion.

"What's going on?"

Ryan just smirks at the boy, exiting the car and motioned for the other to do the same.

"Seriously Ryan, what's going on?"

Ryan rolls his eyes before sending the boy a playful grin.

"Well... Raquelle and I got tired of you moping around in your room so we decided...Why not have dinner at the beach?"

"The beach. You and Raquelle?"

Ryan just grins when his brother sends him a suspicious look. The two keep walking on the long, pink beach until they reach a small table that was dressed in a blue picnic blanket, two chairs at the end of each side. Ryan points at the table, motioning for the boy to sit.

"Where's Raquelle?"

Ryan starts checking the watch on his wrist. He looks up for a short period then looks back down again.

"She's taking care of some business."

A brief moment passed when a shadowy figure started heading towards the two, the figure getting taller and taller. That was definitely not Raquelle. Y/n looked up at his brother who was pacing back and forth, Ryan eyes never strayed from the approaching doll.

"You really like to take your time don't you Kenny boy."

The blonde boy frowned at Ryan's comment then smiles again when he sees his favorite doll there as well.

"You literally set this up last minute. It's a long walk from Barbie's dream house."

Ryan grinned at that. He was happy the blonde could make it at such short notice, when he and Raquelle went to the party he looked miserable and instantly agreed to meet up with Y/n. He didn't like Ken, he seemed like a little puppy dog but Ryan could see there was a darkness there though he respected that he cared just as much as the twins did about the (h/c) doll.

Ryan looks at his watch again, he takes it off and throws it to Ken then throws his keys to Y/n.

"Soundcheck's in 30, I can deal with that all on my own. As long as you're there for the show on time, we're good."

Y/n looked surprised, he was slowly catching up on what was going on. His eyes glowed up in excitement.

Ryan was a perfectionist, He needed things to run smoothly.

The two always had to be at the venue early. Lights were checked at least ten times and sound was checked on repeat.

He worked hard to make sure his shows were as perfect as could be.

Too bad no one was ever there to see it.

Ryan ruffles the younger dolls hair before walking off leaving the two dolls to their own devices.

"Your brother's kinda intense."

"Yeah, he is."

Y/n frowned a little causing Ken to worry.

"He said dinner, there's not even any food here."

Y/n waited a little longer until he was sure the other doll had fully left the beach before turning the blonde with a mischievous look in his eye. He lifted the keys up and pointed his eyes to the direction of the car on the other side of the beach.

"Alrighty, we're headed to my house."

Ken looked panicked.

He had never been to Y/n house. It's not that he didn't want to.

But he knew how Ryan felt about him and he didn't want to step on anyone's toes.

"They won't be mad about me being there."

"Nonsense Raquelle likes you and Ryan..."

Y/n thought about it for a second.

"He'll get over it."

"If you say so."

Ken was still hesitant but he felt safe with the doll in front of him so why not. He tapped his fingers against the table, looking nervous.

"Do you think I could drive?"

Ryan was gonna kill him for this.

"Why not."

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

After a hectic ride courtesy of Ken, the two found themselves on the couch talking about Barbie's Party. It was something they did everyday since Y/n never went but the details Ken gave always made him feel like he was there.

"Then he was all like, 'I bet you can't do a backflip Ken.' And did his annoying hair flip thing with the sparkles."

Y/n just listened to him, watching as he told his story with exaggerated hand movements and eye rolls when it came to Ken.

"Sounds fun."

Ken looked at Y/n, eyes shining as he recalls the memory.

"It was for a while. I wish you could have been there though."

Ken grabs one of the boy's hands and starts playing with his fingers.

"Barbie was a little sad you couldn't make it."

Y/n looked down a little, he felt a little guilty that he turned her down but he didn't want to upset his sister.

"Hey now, none of that."

Ken starts to rub the back of the boy's hand.

"She understands. Plus she had the other Barbie's to keep her company."

The two sat in melancholy silence, Ken's eyes scanned around the room to see if there was anything he could do to cheer the other boy up. His eyes landed on a Keyboard in the corner.

"You own a keyboard?"

Y/n's eyes followed the direction of the other doll.

"It's Ryan's but I know how to play it a little."

Ken looked at Y/n with adoration and excitement. It made Y/n's heart melt when he looked at him like that.

"Can you show me how to play?"

"Why not."

The two smiled at each other before getting up and heading towards the instrument. Ken kept pumping his fists, excited to learn something new from his favorite doll.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ryan was backstage pacing, nervously looking at the clock on the wall. The backstage door opens to reveal the dolls he was waiting for laughing their little hearts out, He lets out a breath of relief.

"Alright you two, to the dressing room."

Ryan grabbed each of both boys forearm and pulled them to the dressing room, there was three outfits ready for them to wear.

"Why are there three?"

"Why am I here?"

Ryan pats Ken's back with a lot of force.

"How good are you at playing guitar?"

"Pretty good."

"Great, hope you have good stage presence Kenny boy."

Ken looks at him confused. Ryan walks to the clothing rack and throws Ken one of the outfits, Ryan sends his brother a smirk before getting dressed.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The stadium was dark but filled with different Kens each brimming with excitement. Raquelle looked around a satisfied smile on her face watching all the faces Light up when the stage started to glow in a red light, the blonde girl beside her was already bouncing on the heels of feet before the show even started...

Raquelle was proud of herself, it didn't take much convincing to have the Kens come since the Barbies only ever had girls nights but to be able to pull the girl beside her away from said night was no easy feat, lets just say the other Barbies definitely aren't pleased with her.

"I can't believe he didn't tell me about this."

Barbie looked at Raquelle with a big smile on her face. She actually smiled back.

"I mean you are a busy woman."

"Yeah, but.."

Raquelle puts her finger to her lips, signaling her to be quiet before pointing to the stage.

The flat screen on stage lit up, playing silent videos of Ryan playing his instruments. She rolled her eyes a little at that when red smoke started filling the stage. The platform at the bottom of the stage lifts up revealing Ken with a red electric guitar in his hand. He wore a mesh see-through long-sleeve shirt with a denim red cropped shirt that opened up and some black pants and platform boots, his hair was messy and had red glitter in it.

"Wooooo!!!"

"Let's goooo Ken!!!"

He smiled bigly hearing his name get called out by his friends, he starts playing the start of a tune when the spot light lands on him.

The lights around the stage start changing colors between red and orange. The other Kens start to get more hyped.

"I turn my cheer music up and I'm puffing my chest. I'm getting red in the face, you can call me obsessed. It's not your fault if they hover, I mean no disrespect. It's my right to be hellish..."

"I still get jealous."

A platform above the stage comes down slowly. Y/n stands on the platform with a black guitar that had small pictures of him and his siblings on it. He wore a red shirt with a black leather jacket and black leather pants and some black boots. A picture of him and Ryan now plays on the screen. Once he makes it on the stage Ryan runs out of the smoke filling the stage. He wore a black shirt with a red band jacket on top with black pants and some red dress shoes.

"You're too sexy beautiful and everyone wants a taste. That's why..."

"I STILL GET JEALOUS!!"

"You're too sexy beautiful and everyone wants a taste. That's why..."

Ken stomps his foot on the stage and it glows blue under his feet spreading towards the side of the stage and around. It surprised him that his color was represented on the floor, he looked at Ryan who only smirked at him.

"I STILL GET JEALOUS!!!"

Everyone starts clapping as the beat changes. Lights flashing white in the background. Y/n smiled as he played, this was the first time the Stadium had ever been filled up, let alone had people there to watch. Ryan walks up to Y/n and leans his forearm on the boy's shoulder.

"Oh no. See you walkin' 'round like it's a funeral."

The two boys walk up towards the front on the stage and down the stairs, Ryan motions for Ken to join them.

"So serious, girl, why those feet cold? We just gettin' started, don't you tiptoe, tiptoe, ah"

Ryan walks up to Raquelle who motions for him to pull Barbie on stage which he does. Y/n looks surprised to see his other friend here but happy none the least.

"Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a masterpiece."

Ryan motions to himself before winking at the audience then placing his arm around Barbie.

"You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with me."

Ken looks at Y/n ready to sing his part. He may have learned this in the last ten minutes or so but he thought he was doing pretty good.

"You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy."

Y/n winks at him when he notices his stare.

"But you movin' so carefully, let's start living dangerously."

Y/n remembered writing that part about Ken cause he was always worried about what other people would say about them.

"They won't understand."

"What would they say?"

Y/n didn't care about all that and after a while Ken started to care less about it too but there was still a little voice inside that he couldn't get rid of.

"TALK TO ME BABY!!"

The lights started flashing between red and orange again. Little golden flakes started falling from the ceiling.

"I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet cravin'"

The screen starts showing a video of Ryan and Y/n learning how to dance for the first time.

"Let's lose our minds and go plastic crazy."

"I-I-I-I-I, Keep on hopin' we'll eat the cake by the ocean."

The group goes up the stage again with Barbie this time. Ryan pulls her into a little waltz as Y/n and Ken dance by each other. Ken's hair glitter going everywhere.

"WALK FOR ME BABY."

"I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi."

"Let's lose our minds and go plastic crazy."

"I-I-I-I-I KEEP ON HOPIN' WE'LL EAT THE CAKE BY THE OCEAN!!"

Ryan holds a note spotlight on him. Y/n shakes his head at his brother before changing the beat again. Golden glitter spreads from a cannon to the stage, the background changes orange, the screen now shows Ryan and Y/n's names in big glittery letters.

Ryan goes to his brother's side and pulls him in a side hug, shaking him as he does so.

"We go together, Better than the birds of a feather, you and me."

He ruffles his hair.

"We change the weather, I'm feeling heat in December when you're 'round me."

Ryan tries to moonwalk, it looks so goofy but the audience loved it. Y/n does the moonwalk too, actually nailing it and getting a bigger reaction. Ryan frowns but there's a playful look in his eyes and Y/n smiles at that.

"I've been dancing on top of cars."

"Stumbling out of bars."

"Follow you through the dark, can't get enough."

Barbie starts doing the Shakira hip shake and Ken starts stomping and clapping his hands, guitar hanging off his shoulder.

"You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain and baby, you know it's obvious."

"I'm a sucker for you."

The lights start flashing again, Red, blue, orange, pink, purple.

"Say the word and I'll go anyway blindly."

Barbie puts her arm around Ken, jumping in excitement.

"I'm a sucker for you."

"Any road you take, you'll know that you'll find me."

A video of a firework starts playing in the background.

"I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things no one knows about you."

"About you."

Barbie starts acting out the song.

"About you."

"About you."

"And you're making the typical me, break my typical rules."

Ryan makes eye contact with Ken as he says that.

"It's true."

"I'M A SUCKER FOR YOU."

The show ends with glitter flying from the cannons again, the audience cheers as the lights go out. The four on stage laughing but clearly out of breath.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"OH MY PLASTIC!!!"

Raquelle runs up to her brothers backstage pulling them both in a tight hug.

"Ugh, I'm so proud of you two."

She pulls back and hits Ryan upside the head.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"No reason."

She shrugs and winks at her other brother getting a small laugh out of him and a glare from Ryan.

"We should celebrate. Yeah?"

"Hell yeah."

Raquelle turns to the other two and pulls Ken in a hug.

"You were awesome."

Ken smiles at her as she pulls back, she gives Barbie a nod before motioning to the door.

"Alright, Dinner at our house."

"For real this time?"

She nods causing the (h/c) eyes to light up and joy, he quickly runs out of the building in the direction of the car with Ryan on his tail. Raquelle heads to the door before turning back.

"Aren't you coming?"

The two dolls point to themselves getting a head nod in return. They smile at each other before racing to the cars themselves. Once there everyone gets in.

"Can I drive?"

"No!!"

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"Hahaha"

[computationalcalculator]

I received your reblog about the highest grossing films of 2022, 2023, and 2024. I teach popular culture. Do you mind if I use those in class?

I mean, I don't strictly mind, but I'm just using the screencaps from the wiki articles for 2022, 2023, and 2024. You should probably grab a new copy of the 2024 one, since it's a few months out of date - though hey, you're in luck, the only change is Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, which is also a sequel.

I also made a couple of mistakes in labeling, namely The Batman (2022) isn't really a remake, and would be more accurate to label as a franchise or an established property (and I'd probably label Barbie (2023) and The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) the same way), and while Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) is a sequel, it is not part of the MCU. You'll want to fix those.

You might also find it useful to look into specifics on Sound of Freedon (2023), the QAnon one, since there's a good chance someone will ask.

(On the off-chance you're interested in using a picture of the actual post, if you're teaching to high school students or younger, I would suggest blurring or blocking out both my and the OP's blog names, since we both post or share NSFW content, and obviously do not want children following)

@wolfertinger666 anything I missed that you'd like to add? + permission for the asker, since it was originally your post?

[manysmallhands]

Top 10 Albums of 2023!

This was all supposed to work out differently. As i recall from the now long distant past, my original plan was to do a countdown where i put up one post a day throughout December. However, I got Covid on December 1st and that plan immediately became lame and useless. After that, my assumption was basically that i wouldn't be able to do any of this, but i got better more quickly than i'd anticipated and found myself working on these reviews in bits as the month has gone on. So, having rushed through all the the song blurbs that i wanted to do, here i am on New Year's Eve with a more or less finished Top 10 albums to put up.

The only problem is that there are ten quite lengthy reviews here and the vibe is already pretty tl:dr. But tbh that's fine: there really is only my girlfriend who ever reads everything (and i believe her, trust is what love is all about after all) so for anyone looking at this and thinking blimey, that's a lot of text, my advice is: you don't have to read any of it. Just look at the albums, scan thru to see if it sounds like something you might like and give one or two of them a listen if that looks like the case. The words are really just to keep me occupied but i'd like to hope that someone likes some of the records.

I said yesterday that i would reveal what the best one is and so I am now delivering on that important promise. The best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Anyone who follows me on whatever platform already knows that the best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Don't make me say it again.

Barbie - The Album

Few people have seemed much interested in the Barbie soundtrack, other than the punters who kept it atop the compilations chart for four months. I, as ever, channel the spirit of the populous. The sound is basically 80s synth pop updated for a modern audience  - the likes of Haim and Ava Max slot in predictably well - but its the extra dimensions created by how the artists interact with the film that provide some of its more interesting aspects. Sam Smith’s Man I Am reflects a surprisingly LGBTQ Ken despite protestations (certainly its "I'm not gay bro, but..." T-shirt is prompting a lot of questions already answered by the shirt), while Billie Eilish dwelling on life as a manufactured product makes for interesting and uncomfortable parallels in What Was I Made For. Mark Ronson’s plasticky production suits its subject to a tee, further cementing the conceptual unity of the project.

Star turns abound throughout the album as A-listers like Dua Lipa and Lizzo bring their best games alongside some terrific and unlikely downcard cameos. What Was I Made For? and Dance The Night were both deserved #1s, but the pacey pop punk of GAYLE’s Butterflies and Dominic Fike’s breezy, hook laden Hey Blondie are as much highlights as any of the bigger names here. Special mention should be made for Ryan Gosling’s I’m Just Ken, a blockbuster 70s rock number that, whilst puncturing the wider stylistic template, is batshit and hilarious enough to more than justify its place as well as netting him a surprise hit too. The quality lapses once or twice (Tame Impala in particular are bloody awful) but by the time Ava fires the final laser I’m generally happy to go back and start all over again. With banger after banger here, my verdict is in: the Barbie soundtrack is *Charli voice* HOT!

Claire Rosinkranz - Just Because

While this has been a year that I’ve gotten more fully into pop, it took a while for me to find many new albums that I’ve been interested in. This may partly be to do with me clinging to an idea that LPs ought to be substantial beyond having good hooks and charm. In truth, all I needed to do was revert to my indiepop training, where bands have never knowingly been fussed about having any great weightiness. But even so, it took Just Because to make it clear to me that no, you really don’t need any grand vision at all: a high number of great if frothy pop songs will do just fine. It’s a record which bounces from banger to banger in an endearingly sunny style, with each tune so catchy that their lightness becomes a strength rather than a weakness.

Rosinkranz’s voice seems to mark her out as one of the many Billie clones who populate the current pop scene but her musical ambitions are both simpler and more instantly engaging. Not yet 20, her songs have an element of schoolyard whispers which add a welcome silliness here and there, but she also plays with the intensity of youthful emotions to make them a little heartrending even as she goofs off. Highlights include Dreamer, a break up song where the vocal makes it clear that she’s far from as done as she says she is, and Wes Anderson, which offers some sombre advice but packages it in a song so sweet that you’d never know. But in spite of all this it makes no end of year lists (well, maybe just the one), being merely a lovable set of songs that are very hard to forget. Need it be more? I don't believe so.

Doja Cat - Scarlet

Mired in discourse throughout the year, Doja Cat still found time to make a chart topping single (Paint The Town Red) that took the world by storm and a cracking album which, sadly, did not. Scarlet was in my opinion the better of the two: largely ditching the afrobeat pop of Planet Her, Doja staked her claim as an old skool rapper and brought it off pretty well, mixing hard rhyming with her more scattershot pop delivery and sounding entirely comfortable wherever she landed. While flitting musically between modern RnB and neo-soul grooves, her subject matter was largely taken up by how much she hated her fans, a bold strategy that found her shedding support even as blistering tracks like Fuck The Girls shaped up as some of my favourites of the year.

Whilst I’ve found myself uncomfortable with both the company that she keeps and the views which she may or may not subscribe to (i feel safe in saying that she's a right wing edgelord but i suspect that’s the least of it), Scarlet is such a good album that I’ve found myself, if not making excuses for her, then at least deftly navigating around my distaste in order to keep listening to it. While Agora Hills often reminded me how serious she is about her scumbag of a boyfriend, it’s still a song that can submerge me in its beauty entirely; while some of the complaints from her online audience are less easily dismissed than others, it’s more comfortable just to think about the morons calling her a devil worshiper, especially when she mocks them so wickedly on the elegant Skull And Bones. Am I the problem? Maybe I am: it’s a place I often find myself in with hip hop, where faves are frequently problematic and exceptions beg to be made. As such, I can not wholeheartedly recommend this record to people who might want to take a principled stand against some of her bullshit. I can only say that, as a musical talent, there was no one better all year.

Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard?

After 2021’s fairly middling brace of albums, Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd always felt like it was going to be a return to form and this time the faithful were not disappointed. It was another epic and sprawling record which unfolded like a cross between The Bible and a 50s musical. While changeable in style, ranging from hammy country ballads to trap beats and beyond, the thing that springs to mind most often is the Great American Songbook, as Lana takes the melodramatic grandeur of those standards and soaks them in her own messy and complicated worldview. This draws in family, romance, the future, her relationship with religion and how it all scrappily fits together, ranging widely and wildly across 75 extraordinary minutes.

Much of the album feels like it’s being broadcast from a kind of dreamworld, although one that overlays with reality neatly enough. Lana’s dismissive “if you want some basic bitch go to the Beverly Centre and find her” line undercuts the mood on the otherwise lush and evocative Sweet but the impact is hilarious rather than jarring, a perfect marriage of the strange and mundane. In contrast, the brooding A&W initially brings that realism to a far more uncomfortable level, before goofing off wonderfully in the second half in a way that only Lana ever really dares to do. Much of the record feels like it's creating its own language, as key phrases (“let the light in”, “when you know, you know”) are repeated and musical themes come back around in strange modulations. All in all, while perhaps less satisfying as a pop record than Norman Fucking Rockwell, Did You Know… feels like her most complete statement on a personal level yet, whilst still working well within the broader world that she’s spent over a decade constructing.

Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We

Despite liking the odd song or two, I have until now been largely immune to Mitski over the full length of an album. But The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We has a much more organic sound than I’m used to hearing from her, well adrift from the polished guitar rock of her big 10s records. Instead, it takes many of its cues from classic folk and country, occasionally lush and expansive, often determinedly sombre but always at a distance from the areas where she’s generally been at home. Opener Bug Like An Angel is a brooding scene setter, where Mitski unveils the terse and grumpy presence we will grow familiar with over the next half hour. The main elements of the album are already in place - the spare instrumentation; Mitski’s extraordinary voice, hard and intransigent but still full of yearning; the occasional, overwhelming interjections from the wings. It all creates a distinctive atmosphere, extremely intense but intimate too: we’re allowed into Mitski’s world but there’s a lot to take in.

Lyrically, the songs are both heavily allusive and extremely personal, like hearing ancient parables told by the characters from the story. Surprise hit My Love Mine All Mine seems to sit apart as a relatively standard love song but a closer listen reveals deeper layers; the placing of her love as something independent from its object makes it feel more of a piece with the album’s other enigmas. At a time where Mitski seemed to be cooling on being a rock star, The Land Is Inhospitable adds a new twist to her long musical journey, seemingly presenting a more intimate portrait while in fact retaining most of her essential mystery. As an album, it really is quite something: what that is I’m less certain of but I like it regardless.

Olivia Rodrigo - Guts

Tho I wouldn't have called myself a hater (I don’t think I would have been bothered enough), I don't really like Olivia’s all conquering debut Sour, which I thought a bit too one-note and overpopulated with slushy ballads. But by the time Guts came around I was open to listening again, drawn in by its excellent singles and primed for a different experience. Vampire, the best of them and more or less of this year, was a fantastic example of taking something that Olivia is clearly very accomplished at (the grand piano lament) and then, rather than running that into the ground, instead using it as a springboard for an entirely different idea. Get Him Back and Bad Idea Right hark back to earlier guitar based tracks like Brutal, but on Guts they form a much more substantive part of the album, cementing its brand of addictive pop grunge and working up a much goofier version of her messy teen persona.

Elsewhere, the ballads did in fact return. Some have speculated that this may have been a bad idea (right?) but for me they’ve been growers, particularly the likes of Lacy and The Grudge, where Olivia explores the bitterness of youth and uses it to tear holes in the people who’ve wronged her. But if I’m honest, it’s the rockers that I’m usually waiting for: whether the new wave pastiche of Love Is Embarrassing or autumnal Cure homage Pretty Isn’t Pretty, each one feels like a mini-revelation and it’s the style that I hope she leans on most in the future.

Palehound - Eye On The Bat 

Palehound have been around for a while now and every so often I’ve given their records a try and haven't really managed to connect with them properly. Eye on the Bat has been the first exception, though whether that's because it’s any better than the others or I just made more of an effort with it I don’t know. Its template is certainly well worn in the indie world - country rock with varying degrees of aggression or melodic sweetness - but there’s still a lot here that grabs my attention, especially in the charming indie pop of the title track and the heart-rending melancholy of Route 22.

But the thing that caught my ear the most was Ellen Kempner’s disarming honesty, with much of the album spent documenting what sounds like a deeply messy break up. Whether she’s bitterly picking through the fall out on Independence Day or remembering some hilariously embarrassing bedroom scene on opener Good Sex, Eye On The Bat's almost diaristic view is mesmerising throughout, making you warm to Kempner even as she works thru some of her own worst traits. And aside from anything else, her understanding of relationships underlines her strengths as a lyricist, as she dissects their complexities with wit, sympathy and occasional anger to capture all the stuff that transcends whatever we were hoping for in the first place.

Poppy - Zig

After the wild ride that commenced with 2020’s extraordinary pop/metal mash up I Disagree, Poppy has journeyed thru indie rock, goth and punk to wind up back where she started, only not quite. Zig may represent a return to pop - indeed it’s produced by Weeknd affiliate Ali Payami - but it’s one that’s filtered thru all of the places she stopped off along the way.

The crepuscular grind of Church Outfit and Knockoff sound like more danceable versions of the I Disagree sound, while the crunching title track suggests that she can still go as hard as ever. But there are nods to a lighter side here as well, particularly in the strong trio that wind up the album: The Attic recasts her sound in a euphoric drum n bass clatter whilst closer Prove It kicks up a remarkable blend of manic hyperpop and gentle electro-balladry, whilst still working in the rich emotional palette that she’s developed in recent years.

In one sense this is a huge departure from the frenetic punk of last year’s Stagger EP but the vibes here stake out territory that you’d still find oddly familiar. Some of the gothy ballads are less immediate than other songs but nothing on Zig is boring, just varying refinements on her ever evolving musical journey. The critics were split, occasionally rattled and sometimes just plain baffled, but that’s only to be expected by now. Poppy follows her own plan and rarely sticks to the same tune: in truth it’s a privilege just to be a witness to the chaos.

Sweeping Promises - Good Living Is Coming For You

One thing that I find missing in a lot of modern guitar based music is snappy songs with good catchy hooks. While Sweeping Promises appear to place their focus elsewhere - their high concept sound is best understood as someone broadcasting direct from 1979 through a wristwatch speaker - their second album still finds time to deliver fully on the tunes. Good Living Is Coming To You is steeped in bubblegum melodies and memorable choruses, with songs that become earworms before you’ve even registered how catchy they are. 

More than anything, it's dominated by Lira Mondal’s imperious vocals: whether it’s in the cascading harmonies of Throw Of The Dice, the fierce yells and hisses that close out the title track or her sweet voiced switch-outs on Ideal No, her character springs out of every song in a way that few singers ever really manage to impose. While you might think that the post punk era has been mined to death by now, Sweeping Promises drag new life into it by going back further: their sound may be heavily rooted in a specific moment but the elements of songcraft often have more in common with 60s girl group classics than gnarled art rockers. Ten bangers and no filler: Good Living Is Coming For You is everything I wanted from it and more.

Wednesday - Rat Saw God

While the queasy vibes of 2021’s Twin Plagues are still high in the mix here, it was the welcome injection of melody on Wednesday's third album that managed to alert the media. That lightness was more apparent in Karly Hartzman's lyrics than you might notice on a passing listen too: though often praised for her grimly amusing takes on middle American backwaters, the key to them was her deceptively soft touch, casting a sympathetic eye over grisly scenes even as she retained their gnarlier undertones.

Single Chosen To Deserve, with its crunching chorus and heartwarming romantic turnaround, feels like the designated big moment from the record but in reality Rat Saw God has an embarrassment of riches. Quarry in particular, with its Waterloo Sunset-esque signature and matter-of-fact dissection of grim local gossip, is an almost pop version of the most haunting aspects of Hartzman's craft, while the washed out bounce of closer TV in the Gas Pump pitches a lonelier scene in a similarly gorgeous manner.

This is not to forget that Wedneday can still rock extremely hard when they want to, especially on the brutal 8 minute Bull Believer, an ambitious multipart epic that ends with Hartzman screaming “FINISH HIM!!!” repeatedly over the chaotic finale. But while Rat Saw God brought this kind of sawtoothed sound back to widespread acclaim, its real trick was how it sugared the pill just enough to get it past even the most determinedly sweet tooth.