#brokendefender

[thawedpatriot]

@brokendefender bc ily

there’s years of words caught in his chest, a mix of apologies and arguments and endearments that he wasn’t able to formulate coherently enough to ever get it in writing to send. he’d been waiting for a call, the phone had been the best olive branch he could muster while on the run from the government. but when the phone finally rang, it hadn’t been tony on the other end of the line. and so he waited even longer; the world turned to ash and suddenly he didn’t know if tony was around to wait for anymore.

but now he’s here, alive-- though just barely it appeared. he moves forward to touch him, to place a hand on tony’s arm on autopilot, before caching himself. was he allowed this? was he within his rights to touch him? to reach out?

so with his hand hovering in an uncertain place between them ( he never wore doubt well ), features pinched but the shine in his eyes undeniably there due to relief, steve lets a single syllable wobble past his lips.

“--hey.”

[nocaptainnomore-blog]

&@brokendefender

    Steve does not want to be here. Correction, he is not proud to be here. Rhodes got him an interview in a garage. He needs a job, he’s not stupid, he knows he needs it. And yes, he does have money sent by the Army every month but it’s not enough, it’s barely anything. They gave him medals & a pension but they left him damaged, broken and nothing can ever fix that. But he tries not to be bitter, it’s not a good look on him. Plus, it has no purpose whatsoever. So he swallowed this bitter pill ( or tried to, at least ) before looking for a job. And everybody is kind, they all want to help Captain Rogers ( war hero, veteran ) but then, he has sick days, he can’t do much of anything with his bad leg, with his bad hip and soon, he becomes a nuisance. He’s not mad though, he was paid to do a job, he didn’t do it, he was fired. It’s how business works. Alas, he still needs a job.

    Rhodes is a good man, an excellent soldier & a friend ( or at least, the friend of a friend ). He knows Tony Stark ( a mecanic apparently though the name is the same as the one stamped on the army's weapons ) and this one has agreed to meet him. Steve has no hope of getting the job. He will come to explain his physical condition, his incapacity to be totally reliable & the man will kindly tell him that this will not be possible. After all, what good can he be in a garage ? Still, Rhodes arranged everything and it would be extremely rude to not go, to waste this opportunity. That’s why he’s walking in the center of New York, white shirt and blue jeans on, trying to find his way toward the garage. He knows that he has already come to this part of town but, at the same time, he feels lost, like everything has been moved around. He sighs, relief flooding him as the garage finally appears. 

    Taking a deep breath, he enters the shop. It’s still early in the morning but a look at his watch confirms that he’s right on time. His gaze wanders around and he wonders if, maybe, he made a mistake ( his mind may have remembered the wrong day or the wrong hour or it is not the good shop ). Doubt distills itself in his blood, sinuous, dangerous. But someone appears, back to him. “ Excuse me, sir ? I’m looking for Tony Stark. ”

[fxlconsnest]

“What do you believe in?”

late nights || accepting !!

‘ PEOPLE, ’ sam says, without missing a beat. easy as breathing. ‘ yeah yeah i know, maybe  they don’t always do right by each other. but what else do we have at the END of the day ? ’

[auntlarb]

tony doesn't wike it and he's gonna fund her funeral and make sure peter is taken care of. I would say more but I, too, am sore and in pain a—

how does your muse react to may dying // no longer accepting // @brokendefender

This girl even got these bois paying for her funeral. Bless. An icon.

[timelessoldier]

happiest of birthdays to my beloved granddaughter @getwebbed / @fearfeeling / @brokendefender !! remember to send knox all the love in the world today everyone !! she so deserves it. 

[thcwebhead-blog]

@brokendefender​ -- starter.

a excited gasp left parker’s lips at the mere sight of the lab that tony uses within the base. it was as if peter was in a dream of some sorts and he was practically in heaven. he wanted to test out so many things in the lab-- but apart of himself restrained because knowing his luck-- he’ll brake something and with his current situation? he doesn’t have the money to pay for it.

“ gosh tony, you really know how to impress someone-- ”   he finally broke the silence after staring in awe at the lab, “  like to think you use this stuff everyday?  ”

[inimitble]

he groans as he wakes from what feels like a century old slumber. brows furrow and head tilts to the side. these aren't his bedsheets. this isn't his pillow. eyes open , vision blurred. mouth is set in a frown as he blinks once , twice , and looks down at the IV in his arm , and then up again. there's a familiar figure sitting there next to him. " steve ? "

               he  doesn’t  know  how  long  he’s  been  staring  at  the  wall  across  from  him.  steve  rogers  has  been  a  statue ,  only  coming  to  in  order  to  ask  the  doctor  and  nurses  questions.  they’ve  tried  pulling  him  away  (  shouldn’t  you  eat ?  shouldn’t  you  rest ?  )  but  their  efforts  have  been  for  nothing.  the  others  have  come  as  well ,  knowing  that  his  refusal  to  leave  stems  from  him  not  wanting  tony  to  wake  up  alone.  shifts  would  be  logical …  if  they  were  completely  right.  yes ,  steve  doesn’t  want  tony  waking  up  alone.  but  he  also  feels  responsible.  not  just  as  the  ‘  leader  ‘  of  the  team  (  co - leader ,  every  time  someone  brings  it  up ; he and  tony  are  in  this  together  ) ,  but  as  the  other  man’s  friend.  as  the  one  that  didn’t  get  there  in  time.  as  the  one  who  feels  like  he  has  the  most  to  lose  if  tony  doesn’t  wake  up—

               his  name.  he  blinks  before  turning  his  head  and  meeting  the  other  man’s  straight  on.  ❝  tony—  ❞  steve  is  standing  and  moving  before  he  realizings ,  wanting  to  bring  the  other  man  into  his  arms ,  wanting  to  see  for  himself  that  he’s  okay  because  doctors  may  be  professionals ,  but  he’s  his  friend.  instead ,  he  forces  himself  back  into  the  chair ,  rubs  a  hand  roughly  over  his  mouth  as  he  utters  the  words  ❝  thank  god.  ❞  and  then  louder :  ❝  you  scared  the  shit  out  of  us ,  tony.  you’re  in  the  medical  wing.  enemy  had  an  emp  gun  with  a  little  more  kick  than  the  suit  was  used  to.  you  fell.  hard.  ❞

[avenginghawk]

“ don’t know what you’re talking about. ”

                ❛ ─ oh really? that’s too bad, perhaps it’s got somethin’ ta do with you not listening to a damn word i said to begin with? in which case, that’s your LOSS, stark. ❜ 

@brokendefender

[dieamonster]

@brokendefender continued

         **JESUS ,**  who hit him in the head with a frying pan ?  tony coughs ,  pushes himself to sit up ,  grimacing with a hiss between gritted teeth.  the pain is almost jarring ,  the one in his chest.  ribs ,  maybe.  it’s all been bandaged ,  but that doesn’t stop it from hurting.   ❛   i’ve rested enough ,   ❜   he argues ,  hand lifting to rub at the back of his neck.  if he’s woken up ,  there’s no chance in hell he’s about to go back to sleep.  tony’s not the type to close his eyes and slip back into slumber ,  not the type to let an injury or two keep him bystander.   ❛   sorry ,  doc.  got places to be and things to do.   ❜

“you are not going anywhere, stark.” reaching over, otto places a hand on the other’s shoulder, guiding him back down. dark eyes soften, though it’s hidden behind his sunglasses. “you can still give orders from this bed, and right now, that is all the avengers can ask of you. and i will make sure that IS all they ask.”

“you are useless like this, stark, but better alive than dead.”

[bornsoldier-arc]

@brokendefender  ♡ ‘d for a starter !

                 steve has always been able to exercise a... certain level of patience when it came down to it. however, where anything tony was concerned, it was as if he had to exert twice the effort not to offer strictly snarky remarks. it wasn’t as if they’d have not been deserved either! but the captain had to be the one to take a step back and realize that he had to choose his fights with stark. otherwise they’d argue from sunrise to sunset... probably all through the night too seeing as SOMEONE had to have the last word.                “ are you only capable of talking about yourself today or is it going to become an actual every day thing? ” 

[oncecaptain-blog]

@brokendefender lyrics starter

                    ❝ just breathe in and hold on. ❞ he does his best to not let the panic show. because after everything that’s happened, everyone gone, the universe is a halved beast, the avengers a halved beast. tony has only just gotten back. steve puts pressure on the wound, and gives tony a shoulder to lean on.

[thawedpatriot]

“You’re always number one.”

he’s being ridiculous, he knows he’s being ridiculous. but that doesn’t stop him from venomously eyeing the small array of people schmoozing with tony from across the room.

he’s working, he’s being paid to guard tony for the duration of this charity gala, so he shouldn’t be focused on how much it bothers him that one of the woman speaking to tony is practically hanging off his arm. he’s on duty, not here as tony’s plus one. besides, it’d be stupid to get jealous over this, he’s more mature than this, right? yet there he stands, stewing as he waits for the bartender to slide the drink orders across to him, eyes fixated on the gaggle of people surrounding tony. he couldn’t have been subtle, but at least he could pass off the staring as just being really intense about his job. yeah, that’s it, he’s just taking his work seriously and is considering that each member of said gaggle could be potential threats to his clients safety. that’s definitely what this is. the woman clinging to him could have ulterior motives, so could the man staring at him like he was prey. steve has no doubt that they each wanted to use tony stark for their own personal gain in one way or another, admiring the wealth more than the man, but it was easy enough to formulate ways they could be legitimate threats when steve’s imagination ran away from him.

it’s not until the woman steps away to chat tipsily at another man in the gaggle that a tall man a couple years his junior steps forward and slips a hand to tony’s back. steve’s scarcely aware of the bartender passing a drink in his direction, eyes boring into the hand that moves its way to the small of tony’s back, white noise filling his ears. this is stupid, he reminds himself, even as he snatches the glass up into his hand and marches over. he’s just doing his job, watching out for tony’s safety; he’s just bringing him his drink, totally professional.

“—excuse me,” he interjects, interrupting whatever speech or elevator pitch the man had been in the middle of, his own hand slipping lower on tony’s back as a smile that would rival a sharks slips across his face, “here’s your drink, mr. stark.”

the man retracts his hand, expression souring, plan foiled by the presence of towering bodyguard. tony appears oblivious, smiling as he takes the glass from steve’s hand, thanking him. steve backs up, eyes never leaving the well dressed stranger for a moment, a silent warning, and after lingering for a second longer he drops his hand from where it had rested comfortably on tony’s back, an unusual display of intimacy while their relationship is still under wraps. it’s been steve who’s been insisting it’s in their best interest to keep things quiet, wanting to avoid more media presence than necessary— it could be unsafe for further paparazzi attention to be drawn to tony, and that’s the last thing steve wants. it’s his job to keep tony safe, this includes his reputation. he can’t fail because his emotions are in the way.

but it’s moments like this where steve wishes people knew, even if to get some people to back off at events such a this. it wouldn’t deter all of them, he knows this, but it’d deter all the somewhat decent people. as he moves away, heading back to his post by the bar, he can feel tony’s eyes on him. privately, he feels pleased with himself. it takes roughly ten minutes for tony to dismantle the group and break away to join him by the bar, the smile on his lips more genuine now than it had been earlier. there’s a knowing glint in the others eyes, steve can see it through the glasses just like the way tony saw right through him. the smirk on his lips calls him out, and steve can’t help but return it sheepishly. maybe he hadn’t given tony enough credit in assuming he wouldn’t pick up on the jealously that radiates off of him in waves. he aches to close the distance between them.

“you’re always number one.”

words soften steeled exterior, and steve feels his heart warm his chest. oh, he hadn’t expected to care about this man so much— never dreamed that affection may be returned. yet here he is, smiling broadly at tony like a lovesick fool. what he does next is out of impulse alone, acting upon emotion alone; it’s risky, given the highly public location, but he ain’t concerned by that right then and there. reaching out, he carefully removes tony’s glasses from his face, tucking them into suit pocket before extending a hand out in invitation.

“may I have this dance, mr. stark?”

tony appears stunned, glancing around them briefly before giving him a look that questioned whether or not he was sure about this. steve can’t blame him, for the stink he’s put up about keeping their relationship hidden from public eye. but standing there, staring at tony with his hand hovering there between them, he doesn’t care. it’s he easy enough to insist this is the easiest way to cover him, to ensure his safety, that the closeness would make it easier for him to shield tony should trouble arise. but that’s not where his mind is. instead, he’s just thinking about how pleasant it would be to have tony in his arms, dressed this nice, to the soft music a grand piano is churning out.

then tony takes his hand and smile splits into grin. it felt right, like the world was clicking into place at long last. gently, he pulls tony out to the dance floor and assumes leading position, hoping the scarcely knowledge tony had leant him would serve him well now, or at the very least allow him to spare tony’s toes.

they settle on swaying, and eventually the nervous energy in tony’s posture dissipates, replaced by ease and familiar smile, the warm kind steve has only seen when it was just the two of them. he is aware of the eyes following them, scrutinizing, speculating— he reminds himself that these are people tony will see regularly, that the same people attend these types of events. it’d be best not to ruin a reputation this way, he’d hate to be the cause of it.

“is this okay?”

The question leaves his lips, barely a whisper to be heard over the music, but he knows it’s been heard by the way tony rolls his eyes fondly and nods.

“yes, steve, this is more than okay.”

it lessens his concerns some, allows him to nudge them aside and focus on the present. the present where he was beaming at a man who could be his future.

[timeforgcda]

"Everyone leaves. It's okay. I'm cool with it."

misc angst . accepting . @brokendefender

“No, Tony, you’re not and I’d appreciate if you stopped lying to my face.”

God, Steve hated admitting to himself just how tired he was but he also came to a point where he no longer knew how to fight for their relationship.  Everytime he stepped forward, his lover pushed him back several more steps.  All they did was fight despite any efforts made otherwise.

“I was there.”  Eyebrows pinch together, desperately searching for any sign of the man he fell in love with.  Steve was still in love.  That was never going to change but how much was too much?  When did you wipe your hands and walk away?  Staying wasn’t doing any good.  Love could only do so much.  Someone had to want the help before it could actually be given and the soldier had no idea if that was the case anymore.

“I pulled you out of that goddamn cave.  Remember?  I swore I’d never leave your side and who was there when you woke up in the hospital?”  Tears burned down his cheeks.  Weeks - months - of pent up frustration finally spilling over in a jumble of words he regretted even as they spilled over his tongue.  “Me.”  Not that Steve wanted a trophy for it or anything.  All he hoped was the action was an illustration since, at the time, they’d essentially been strangers.  Steve would walk through any number of fires to keep Tony safe.

But, how did you save someone from them self?

“Maybe one day this can work,” Steve feels his jaw clenching.  Fingers curl into fists.  He didn’t know how to give up.  So, why was he walking away from this?  Sharpened claws dig through bone to grasp around his heart and give a meaty yank.  “Right now I don’t think I’m the person for you.”

[irnqueen]

@txtbooknarcissism | continued from here

Pepper falls silent for several long moments, gazed fixed on him. ‘Sorry’ seems to be his new favorite word, as she hears it more than anything else these days. Her arms cross over her chest defensively, as if she were trying to protect herself from him.

“What about me, Tony?” she asks him, her voice soft, barely a whisper. “What about us? After all we’ve been through, don’t we deserve a chance at happiness? What am I going to do if the time comes when you don’t come back from your mission because you were trying to save everyone? Don’t you know how much I need you?”

[ofvallianceandvillainy]

brokendefender replied to your post “[ Quick question. Is it just me or are all of my icons super pixely...”

i have 1920x1080 and it's fine on my screen. you might want to check like your display setting and see if it's at 100% scale instead of like 150% (right click on desktop → display settings → change the size, apps, and change the size of text, apps, and other items)* if ur on windows

[ bless your soul, my friend, that was the exact issue. I had it on 125% and once i tuned it down to 100%, everything looks smooth as butter! it just might take me a while to get used to things being a bit smaller xD but thank you so so so much for helping me solve the issue! i owe you big time ♥ ]

[timelessoldier]

thank you for everything. I know we always joke around about you being my mom and I'm your daughter, but ... I mean, you really are someone I look up to. when I feel like absolute shit, you're willing to listen. I never feel like I can pay back all the time you've spent listening to me rant, but I know the least I can do is show you the love and admiration I truly have for you. every "I hope you have an good day/weekend!" is from the bottom of my heart bc you deserve it. (1/2)

I know that neither of us are the type to actually really discuss any personal issues, and I’ve mostly been the one to come to you for help, but I just need you to know that if you ever need anyone? I’m there. I’ll always be there. I know I’m not your closest friend, and I don’t expect that, but I’ll always be one of your support pillars. you deserve to be healthy and happy. I would ? do anything ?? to ensure that. and if there are days you’re too tired, I’ll be strong enough for the both of us. (2/2)