#broke n' heartless films

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CRIT! Cyber Party Massacre (2018)

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Lost In Translation

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: you dated during the first Spider-Man movie, broke up after the second, and now things are awkward as you come back to film the third

Masterlist

“Hi mom.” You said as you picked up the phone.

“Hi sweetie. I wanted to call and check in on you. Are you nervous for you first day back on set tomorrow?”

“No.” You shrugged. “Why would I be?”

“Because Tom will be there and you haven’t seen him since your relationship ended in flames last year.” She said simply. “Plus, you guys have to act like a couple and kiss again which I imagine is probably going to be super painful for you since he was your longest relationship and you thought you were going to marry him.”

“Shit, mom. When you put it like that, I’m super nervous.” You frowned and sat up.

“It’ll be okay.” Your mom assured you. “I’m sure it won’t affect your performance. Even if you think about how you were falling in love with other while filming the first movie and dating while filming the second movie, which perfectly reflected the relationship your characters were having on screen.”

“Mom, you are so bad at this.”

“Just relax. The fact that you guys haven’t spoken since he abandoned you in a hotel last year is not going to effect your ability to act like a loving couple in the biggest blockbuster of the year. You have nothing to worry about. Just don’t get inside your head.” Your mom said like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Right.” You laughed nervously. “How could I possibly do that?”

On the other side of the world, Tom was getting a phone call of his own. He saw Jake Gyllenhaal’s contact name pop up on his phone and lifted it to his ear.

“Bitch, you better not be calling me up to break me like a promise.” Tom said when he picked up.

“I called to see how you were doing.” Jake said. “I know shooting starts tomorrow and it’s probably really hard for you to do it without your true love by your side.”

“Yeah.” Tom sighed. “Filming with Y/n after our breakup is probably going to be really hard.”

“I meant me.” Jake replied. “I wish they brought my character back so I could be with you. Remember, even if I’m not there physically, I’m with you in spirit.”

“Thanks.” Tom said flatly. “This was almost helpful.”

“You sound nervous. Is something on your mind?”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to play Y/n’s boyfriend after the way things ended between us. She hates me.” Tom sighed sadly.

“Did she say that?” Jake asked.

“No. But she hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year.”

“Well in the name of being honest-“

“Oh God.” Tom gulped.

“She probably does hate you.” Jake continued. “What happened between you guys anyway? I thought you were in love.”

“We were. It was all my fault that things got messy between us. I totally fucked up.” Tom admitted.

“How bad was it?” Jake wondered.

“Really bad.” Tom frowned. “Worse than not showing up to her 21st birthday party bad, you heartless bitch.”

“What was that?”

“Sorry.” Tom said quickly. “Forget I said anything.”

“I remember how you guys used to act around each other. She really loved you, man. Anyone could see that. Whatever you did, she could still forgive you. You just have to make it up to her.” Jake advised.

“How?” Tom groaned. “She’s blocked me on all social media and ignores all my calls.”

“She can’t ignore you on set.” Jake reminded him. “You just have to show her that you’re sorry and that you’ve changed.”

“How do I do that?” Tom wondered.

“Just be there for her in all the ways you weren’t before. Show her you’ve grown up and learned from your mistakes and deserve her now.”

“Wow.” Tom blinked in surprise. “When did you get so good at relationships?”

“When someone writes a ten minute song and short film about you, you do a little self reflecting.” Jake admitted.

“Thanks for the advice, mate.” Tom smiled. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Good. If I don’t answer, I’m probably at an indie music concert. You should come with me sometime. They’re really cool and-“

“I gotta go.” Tom cut him off and quickly hung up.

The next day, the cast and crew stood in a circle, ready for the first day of filming. You made eye contact with Tom on the other side of the circle and felt your entire body heat up. He felt his heart crack a little more when you looked away. Seeing you for the first time since the break up made him feel dizzy with all the emotions that hit him at once. You quickly looked back at him and this time, you let the eye contact linger.

“Welcome back everybody.” The director said. “I hope you’ve read your scripts and done your homework. We have the potential to make this the best movie yet. And of course, that’s a big thanks to our incredible leads.”

The cast and crew pushed you and Tom towards each other until you were standing next to each other. You avoided eye contact with each other as you awkwardly bumped shoulders.

“The romance between the two of you is the backbone of this movie, so it’s a good thing we cast two actors with such an inspiring and passionate love for each other. You two have never let us down before and we know you won’t now. If it’s okay with everyone, I’d like to get this thing started.” The director concluded his speech. Everyone clapped as they looked at you and Tom, which made the impossibly awkward situation even worse. The cast and crew dispersed, leaving you and Tom alone together.

“Hey. That was kinda awkward.” Tom laughed nervously. “I guess everyone thinks we’re still a couple.”

“It’s good to see you.” You smiled tightly at him.

“You too.” He melted instantly. “Really good, actually. I’ve really missed you. I tried calling you but I think your number changed.”

“It didn’t.” You shrugged. “I blocked your number.”

“Oh. Right.” He smiled weakly. “That’s probably a good thing. I’ve probably left you over a hundred drunk messages in the past year. I really miss you, darling. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about-“

“Let me just stop you.” You cut him off. “I’m not here to have some magical reunion where we run into each others arm and forget the breakup ever happened. We broke up for a reason. We just don’t work, Tom. We’re not the right people for each other.”

Tom’s jaw dropped a little at your bluntness but he quickly gathered himself.

“I disagree.” He said simply.

“I don’t really care.” You matched his tone.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry about the way things ended between us.” Tom began the apology he’d been holding in. “Breaking up with you was a big mistake. I was drunk and tired and an idiot and-“

“And I’ve moved on.” You shrugged. “I forgive you for everything.”

“You do?” He asked skeptically.

“I have to. I can’t live in the past forever and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do if I hold a grudge over that night. We dated, we fought, and we broke up. It happens. Let’s just move on and be professional.”

“Professional?” Tom furrowed his eyebrows at how calm you were being.

“Yeah, professional.” You nodded. “We’re just coworkers doing a job. That’s all. I can pretend to be in love with you for the next five months. I’m an actress, after all.”

Every word you said broke Tom down a little more. He stared at you with an open mouth as he internalized all of your words. Actress, coworkers, pretend. Every word hurt him more than the last.

“Our relationship has never been professional. We used to sneak off to make out behind sets all during the second movie. And we had giggly, cuddly late night movie nights all most every day when filming the first movie. You and I have always been more than coworkers.” Tom said as his face heated up. He was mostly trying to convince himself that it all happened, because the coldness he was receiving from you now made him feel like you weren’t as torn up over this break up as he was. You seemed perfectly fine whereas he hadn’t slept in months.

“Not anymore.” You shrugged, deflating Tom even more.

“You really don’t feel anything for me anymore?” Tom asked, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

“No. I don’t.” You looked him right in the eye and shook your head.

“Oh.” His nodded slowly as he eyes fell to the floor.

“MJ. You’re needed in hair and makeup.” An intern said as he passed you by.

“Thanks. I’ll be right there.” You smiled warmly, a complete 180° from how you were treating Tom.

“See you around?” You asked Tom with a lightness in your voice as if he were someone you just met today. He stared at you blankly as he fought the urge to cry, a fight he was losing.

“What?” He slowly came back to reality. “Oh. Yeah. See you around.”

You gave him a curt nod before walking away. You made your way to the makeup trailer and shut the door behind you before immediately bursting into tears.

“Welcome back you sexy - oh my God.” Your makeup artist stopped mid sentence. “What happened to you?”

“I just told Tom I didn’t have feelings for him anymore.” You cried and sat down in your chair.

“Oh. I thought you did?”

“OBVIOUSLY I WAS LYING!” You screamed. Your makeup artist gave you a surprised look and you quickly wiped your face.

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered. “I’ve been holding that in all morning. Of course I still have feelings for Tom. I have been in love with him since 2016 and that has never changed. He’s just not allowed to know that.”

“Why not?”

“Because he broke my heart!” You screamed. You quickly smoothed your hair and wiped your face to collect yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly. “He broke my heart.”

“Has he apologized?”

“Yes. Like a thousand times. He’s left me so many drunken voice messages about how much he regrets our break up. He thinks I haven’t heard them.” You sighed as you pulled out your phone.

“Have you?”

“Yeah. I listen to them when I work out.” You admitted. “It really pushes me, you know?”

“Oh honey. That’s not normal.”

“I thought I’d be over him by now. What’s wrong with me?” You groaned and reached for a tissue.

“Maybe you’re not over him because you’re not supposed to get over him.”

“What do you mean?” You wondered.

“You said you’ve been in love with him since 2016, right? I saw him in 2016. He was a gangly little nobody with a frog in his mouth. But he has always looked at you like you put the sun in the sky. Even in 2016. And you used to wear bomber jackets to set every single day.”

“They were really popular back then.” You sniffled.

“What you guys had was real love. So maybe you’re not supposed to get over him. Maybe you guys had to fall apart so you could fall back together.”

“Maybe.” You nodded. “I kinda just gave him a whole speech about how over him I was. If I take him back now, I’ll look pathetic.”

“So make him beg for it. Make him prove that he’s changed and ready for a relationship now. And when he does, he’ll be yours again.”

“When did you get so smart?” You smiled at your makeup artist.

“I have a PHD.” He smiled proudly.

“You do?”

“Pretty huge dick.” He winked at you before getting out your makeup bag. An hour later, you were dressed and in makeup, all traces of your tears hidden under concealer.

“Miss Y/n.” An intern asked as they knocked on the door. “You’re needed on set.”

“Thank you. I’ll be right there.” You called behind you checking your reflection in the mirror.

“Remember. Make him beg. No cracking.” Your makeup artist said as he put one last bit of powder on your nose.

“No cracking.” You nodded. “I can do that. It’ll be easy.”

You walked on set with your head held high, determined not to ruin your makeup. You saw Tom standing in the middle of the high school set, dressed in his Peter clothes. His face lit up when he saw you and he gave you a friendly wave.

“Okay people. We’re gonna start with scene five b.” The director said from his chair. You frowned and flipped through the script in your hand, vaguely remembering something about that scene.

“Scene 5 b? Isn’t that…” Tom trailed off and made panicked eye contact with you as the realization hit you at same time.

“The kiss.” The director smiled. “I want this to be really special you guys. This is the first time your characters interact in the movie. It’s a reminder to the audience how in love you two are.“

“For fucks sake.” You mumbled as you handed your script off and avoided eye contact with Tom.

“Remember, this is the first time we’re seeing Peter and MJ kiss in the movie. They’re in an established relationship now. They’re comfortable with each other. They’re sure of who they are and what they mean to each other. I want to see you two kiss like you’ve done it everyday of your lives. Who am I kidding? You guys got this.” The director chuckled as he sat down in his chair. All while he was talking, you and Tom made quick awkward glances at each other, always getting caught by the other.

“We got this.” You whispered to him. “We got this, right?”

“We haven’t kissed in over a year.” He whispered in a panic. “Which way does my head go?“

“To the left. Stop overthinking it. Your kisses get sloppy when you overthink it and that’s not gonna translate well on camera.” You hissed before walking over to your locker. Tom walked to his mark and gave you a worried look, which you returned with a stare that told him to relax.

“Action!” The direction called. Tom plastered a smile on and walked over to your locker.

“MJ!” He exclaimed in his American accent.

“Ah!” You jumped and shut your locker. “You scared me.”

“Sorry. I just woke up really excited.” He grinned and bounced on his heels.

“Why? Is something important happening today?” You played coy as you shut your locker.

“No, nothing important. It’s just the day we hear back from our top choice of colleges.” Tom replied sarcastically as he rested his hands on your hips.

“I’m kidding.” You rolled your eyes. “Have you gotten your letter yet?”

“No. I told May to text me the minute the mailman comes. Have you gotten yours?”

“I have, actually. That’s why I’m standing here and having a normal conversation with you and not mentioning my college plans.” You said with a sweet smile as you played with the strings of his hoodie.

“So sarcastic.” He teased and leaned in.

“Who me? Never.” You scoffed before filling in the rest of the space. Your lips connected in a kiss for the first time in almost a year, sending sparks through both your bodies. You couldn’t fight the way you naturally melted into him no matter how hard you tried. Tom had to keep himself from getting completely swept away in the kiss by reminding himself that it was just for the scene. You pulled away shortly and looked in his eyes, seeing flecks of regret and hope swimming in his irises.

“We’ll get them soon.” You quickly said your next line. “Don’t worry. Just try to relax.”

“How am I supposed to relax when we’re finding out if we got into MIT or not today?” He whined and rested his head on your shoulder.

“I don’t know. Do your best.”

“If only I had a pretty girl with pretty lips to distract me.” He pouted as he picked his head up.

“If I see any, I’ll send em your way.” You replied. Tom rolled his eyes at you and you pulled him into another kiss, letting it linger this time. He conveyed his best wordless apology as he kissed you, even giving your hip a gentle squeeze the way he always used to. Everything you ever felt for him came rushing back as you kissed him. You pulled away before you got too lost in the moment and rested your forehead against his.

“We’ll check the mailboxes as soon as we get home, okay?” You said softly.

“I like it when you call our apartment complex “home”. It makes me feel like we live together.” He smiled.

“Well MIT does have co-Ed dorms. Maybe one day, we will live together.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Is that an excited smile?” He pretended to gasp. “Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“Shut up.” You playfully hit his arm before going in for another kiss.

“And cut.” The director called. “Great job guys. The magic is still there.”

You pulled out of the kiss and stared at Tom as the rest of the room melted away. He looked at you with fond eyes and a soft smile as you stared at him with a stunned expression.

“Funny.” He said quietly. “I was gonna say the same thing.”

You practically jumped out of his arms and discreetly wiped your mouth as you remembered what your make up artist said. No cracking. Not until he proved that he had changed.

“Back to one!” The director called out. You looked at Tom and internally groaned at the thought of doing that all over again. He gave you an almost sympathetic smile before getting back into position.

You filmed a few more scenes throughout the day, luckily none of them requiring you to kiss. You didn’t speak between scenes, which was more your choice than Tom’s. Every time he tried to make a joke or tell you something, you would just give him a fake smile and look away. His heart broke every time you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

After wrapping for the day, you thanked the crew and went back to your trailer. Tom made the impulsive decision to follow you to your trailer and knocked on your door.

“Oh. It’s you.” You said flatly when you opened up. On the inside, your stomach was erupting in butterflies at the sight of him at your door. You’d been ignoring him all day and it clearly got to him. Watching him relentlessly trying to get back in your good graces made it all that much harder to pretend you didn’t love him anymore.

“Hi.” He smiled, not letting you see how much your disinterested tone stung him.

“Did you need something?”

Tom stared at you for a moment, forgetting what he came to talk to you about. He still couldn’t believe he was talking to you after almost a year of radio silence and he didn’t want to mess up again.

“Are you okay?” You waved your hand in front of his face. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine. Someone just hacked into my Etsy account.” He lied. “Could I come in?”

“Oh.” You pretended to be surprised. “I guess so.”

You stepped aside and let him into your trailer, anxiously awaiting for what he had to say. Tom awkwardly sat on the couch and looked around, feeling the torture of trying to make small talk with someone you used to love.

“So what did you want to talk about?” You folded your arm and tried to look as bored as possible.

“First, I wanted to thank you for being so cool this morning. I honestly thought you were gonna throw a drink in my face or slap me.” He laughed nervously. Your indifferent expression didn’t budge so he quickly stopped laughing.

“Not that I think you’re violent or bitter or anything.” He quickly followed up. “I was just shocked at how civil you were being with me after the last time we spoke. I believe your last words to me were “fuck you, Tom.” Which, of course, I complete deserved.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. When you didn’t say anything else, an awkward silence filled the room.

“Weird day, huh?” He said after a beat of silence. “I almost forgot what it felt like to kiss you.”

“I was-“

“I’m lying!” He blurted and stood up. “I didn’t forget. I could never forget how it feels to kiss you. I didn’t mean that.”

“I said nothing.” You reminded him in light of his outburst.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed and sat down again. “I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I’m so scared of saying the wrong thing and messing up the sliver of friendship we have left.”

“Tom.” You sighed and scratched the back of your neck.

“It’s just so hard to act like I’m in love with you on screen when I know you hate me off screen.” He said quietly as he stared at the ground. You felt guilty for torturing him all day when you saw just how broken he was. You wanted him to feel the pain he put you through, and it seemed like he had. You took a seat next to him on the couch but didn’t let your bodies touch.

“I don’t hate you.” You told him. “I’m just not in love with you anymore.”

Tom froze when he heard you say this and felt his stomach drop. He looked at you and gave you a soft, sad smile.

“That’s so much worse.” He told you. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you looked at him, feeling an overwhelming urge to hug him and tell him everything was forgiven.

“Are you still in love with me?” You asked him.

“Of course I am.” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re the love of my life.”

“Then why did you break up with me? You never actually told me why. All I got was a text.” Your voice cracked as all the painful memories flooded back.

“I know.” He sighed. “I’m such an idiot. I wish I never sent that stupid text. I knew I was never going to be able to do it in person so I took the cowards way out. I’ll never be able to apologize enough. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

You could barely hear his apology as your mind brought you back to that night. You remembered the night your relationship ended perfectly. Almost a year ago, you did your final day of interviews for the press tour. You went out for drinks with the cast afterwards and everything was fine. Tom had left the bar before you, claiming he didn’t feel well. An hour later, your phone buzzed with a message from Tom. When you went to the hotel room to talk to him, he was already gone.

You pulled your phone suddenly out and clicked on Tom’s contact. After scrolling up for a while through all his apologies, you found the text.

“I can’t do this anymore. We’re over. I’m sorry. T.” You read the text out loud with zero emotion in your voice. Tom crumbled when he heard it and let out a defeated sigh.

“I blocked your number after I read that text. Then I unblocked it a month later.” You said, voice still neutral.

“So you got my calls?” He asked as he picked his head up.

“Yup. And all the drunk messages.”

“You never picked up.” He said softly.

“I never wanted to hear what you had to say.” You shrugged, twisting the knife even more.

“I can’t blame you. I was a dick that night.”

“Yeah. You were.” You agreed. You suddenly got off the couch, not wanting to be next to him for another second.

“What’s wrong?” He wondered at the sudden movement.

“You broke up with me over text and then flew home without me. That’s what’s wrong.” You said as you folded your arms.

You felt all the rage from that night return to you. You looked around your trailer and grabbed a clementine before launching it at Tom’s head. He caught it and looked at you in surprise as you began to throw more fruit.

“You are such a dick!” You hissed. “We were together for three years and all I got was a text message saying it’s over? Who does that?”

“I’m sorry!” He said as he caught a banana. “I don’t know what I was thinking. And stop throwing your welcome basket at me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” You snapped and threw another clementine.

“Can we not fight right now? I just wanted to have a civil conversation.” He groaned as he caught the clementine.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll come back when it’s a more convenient time for you to explain why you end our three year relationship over text. Fuck you.” You threw a banana at his head and turned to leave.

“There she goes. Storming out of a room instead of talking like an adult. I’m glad to see you haven’t changed.” Tom grumbled, making you freeze in place. He instantly regretted it as he watched your body language go from angry to furious.

“What did you just say?” You asked as you slowly turned around.

“Uh oh.” He gulped.

“You think I’m the one who can’t talk like an adult?” Your voice was thick with rage as you pointed to yourself.

“I’m just saying.” Tom said without looking at you. “I’ve been trying to be nice to you all day and you won’t even look at me. I didn’t expect us to magically fix our relationship in one day, but I thought we could at least be friends.”

“How can we be friends?” You asked him. “You ended our three year relationship in three sentence text the second our press tour ended. And then got on a plane without me. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I felt like I had fallen out of love with you. I wasn’t happy anymore.”

“But you never mentioned that before hand.” You reminded him. “You sat beside me in interview after interview in a million different cities and never once mentioned how you were feeling. You acted like everything was fine and then sent that text out of nowhere. How long did you feel that way before you told me?”

“I don’t know. A month? Two, maybe.”

“Two months?” You laughed sadly. “And you didn’t think to tell me before that night?”

“I didn’t want to make the press tour super awkward and messy.” He explained. “It would have broken the fans hearts if we broke up right before the movie came out”.

“Wow. Thank God you protected the fans feelings. I can’t even imagine how they would have felt about an unexpected breakup.” You said sarcastically before throwing more bananas at his head.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. And stop throwing bananas at me!” He whined. “I just didn’t want to break up with you and then have to pretend we were friends for a month while we promoted the movie.“

“So you dump me via text the second the press tour ends?” You scoffed. “And then leave me behind with no further explanation?”

“It couldn’t wait.” He shrugged helplessly. “I’m sorry.”

“God. I’m that awful to be around that you couldn’t wait until we went to our home to end our three year relationship?” You asked as hot tears of embarrassment fell down your face.

“Why do you keep reminding me how long our relationship was?” He genuinely wondered.

“Because it was three fucking years!” You screamed. “And you dumped me in a fucking text!”

“Can you keep your voice down?” He asked quietly. “Don’t cause a scene on set. I thought you wanted us to be professional.”

“Don’t cause a scene?” Your eyes widened at his audacity. “I’m about to break every bone in your body and flush you down the toilet.”

“Real mature.” He rolled his eyes. “Could you actually do that? No. Right? Don’t come any closer.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t get to tell me anything. Fuck you, Tom.” You spat. You turned to leave again, but he was too quick with his comebacks.

“Wow.” He said sarcastically. “That sounds familiar. It’s almost like it’s exactly what you said the last time we spoke”.

“What are you talking about?” You folded your arms. “I didn’t say anything after you sent that text message. You got on a plane and left, remember? That was the last time we saw each other.”

“No it wasn’t.” Tom frowned. “Don’t you remember when you came home early?”

Your mouth went dry as you suddenly remembered the actual last time you ever saw Tom. It was a few weeks after the text message when he walked into your shared house to collect the last of his things. Unbeknownst to him, you were there doing the same thing.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Tom stopped in his tracks when he saw you. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“I own this house.” You said flatly.

“No, of course.” He nodded. “I just thought you were still filming in Atlanta.”

“We wrapped early.”

“Oh. Congratulations on wrapping.” He smiled. “What’s the movie called again?”

“Don’t do that.” You sighed.

“Do what?”

“Act like you care. You don’t need to make small talk with me. I was just leaving.” You said as you picked up a cardboard box with “clothes” written on the side. You moved past him without making eye contact but he stopped you.

“You don’t have to go so soon. We could sit and talk if you want.” He offered, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt.

“Why would I want that?”

“Because we haven’t seen each other in a while.” He said softly, caught off guard by your attitude towards him.

“Yeah?” You tilted your head. “Whys that?”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “About everything. The text, leaving you, all of it. I’m so sorry.”

“Tom, what the hell happened?” You asked sadly. “I thought we were in love. I thought things were going really well between us.”

“They were.”

“So why did you leave? You just left me behind like I meant nothing to you. I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to understand where it all went wrong, but I can’t figure it out. What happened? Was it me? Did I ask for too much?”

“No. No, it wasn’t you. It was all me. I thought I lost feelings for you but that’s not the case. That was never the case. My family started asking me about proposing, and then we got asked about marriage practically everyday on the press tour. Things got so real between us and I got scared. I panicked and I broke up with you so I wouldn’t have to admit to myself that you were the most and only important thing in my life. I’ve never had another person mean that much to me before and I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared of fucking it up that I-“

“Fucked it up?” You cut him off.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I did. Big time. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Being away from you made me realize how much I love and need you. I thought I was doing the right thing by breaking up with you, but I wasn’t. I thought I wasn’t ready for putting someone else above everything else, but I was. I thought-“

“I thought I was gonna marry you.” You cut him off again. You didn’t exactly say it to him, more so to yourself as you looked off in the distance. You looked down at the box in your hands and adjusted the weight before looking at him again.

“We were both wrong.” You shrugged before you walking out.

“Did you just replay it all in your head?” Tom asked you, bringing you back to reality.

“How’d you know?” You asked as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“You have the same look on your face as you did that night.” He noticed. “The look that’s been haunting me for the past year.”

“I totally forgot about that night.” You realized. “I forgot you said all those things.”

“Now you know that the breakup never had anything to do with you. It was all me. I ran scared.”

“Yeah, I know.” You smiled softly. “I was there.”

“I never deserved you, did I?” He asked. “I wanted to ask you for a second chance but honestly, I’m kinda rooting for you to end up with someone else now.”

“Don’t bother.” You sighed and sat beside him. “I don’t want anyone else. I’ve been lying to you and myself all day. I’m not over you. I’ve been in love with you since 2016. That’s never changed.”

“Really?” He asked hopefully.

“I don’t think it ever will.” You admitted with a shy smile.

“But you just yelled at me.” He frowned. “And threw a bunch of fruit at my head.”

“Yeah, I did.” You smiled proudly. “I needed to get that out of my system. I was holding that in for a long time.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you get that all out the first time.” He said as he took your hand. “I’ll never forgive myself for the way I ended things. Our relationship meant a lot to me and I ended it like it meant nothing. You deserved so much better than that.”

“Thank you for admitting that. It makes it easier to forgive you now. Especially after I got all of that off my chest. And throwing the fruit really helped, actually.” You said with a soft smile. He returned the smile and felt the awkward, icy tension melt away. He realized he was still holding your hand and went to pull away, but you held on.

“Where do we go from here?” Tom asked quietly as he rubbed soft circles on your hand with his thumb.

“Honestly, I don’t know. We were heading towards marriage a year ago. Then we didn’t speak for a year. And I just threw a bunch of fruit at you before telling you I was still in love with you. I’m not sure what the next step is.”

“Maybe there is no next step.” He shrugged. “Maybe we just take this one day at a time.”

“Where do we even start?” You wondered. You looked at each other for a minute as if you were seeing each other for the first time. And suddenly, you were kissing. It wasn’t you or Tom who leaned in first. It was a mutual decision made by human nature. You missed each other. You really missed each other.

“Let’s start there.” Tom said against your lips when he pulled away.

“Yeah.” You smiled softly. “That seems like a good place to start.”

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[daddyjackfrost]

Hello, is it okay to request for an angst? You know where the reader is always the victim of heartbreak, well i think its time to turn the table around. I wanted to request something that it's the boys turn to get heartbroken. Something about their s/o being a two timer, or she doesn't care about their feelings at all.

now this, this is diabolical. i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get to it! life’s just been a bit hectic rn. anyways, i’ve chosen tsukishima for this one. not because i think he would be a cheater, but because he seems like someone who wouldn’t “care” that much in the relationship. let’s get on w it, yeah?

f!reader, aged up!

warnings: angst 😃

You stared at the notebook in your hands. You had promised Akaashi you would throw it away. You had told yourself to throw it away every damn day, and yet, here you were.

  Clutching papers that were bonded together by your own tears.

  This notebook, the one titled ‘'One Heartbreak Away’ were all your heartbreaks. Now, it wasn’t just a notebook for all the failed relationships you had dealt with, this notebook had all your heartbreaks.

  Every time your heart had broken was listed somewhere in the papers, and you weren’t ready to say goodbye to those memories yet.

  You were sure that if you had thrown away the notebook, you wouldn’t have been the heartless fool you were now. Too many broken hearts later, and you were now the heartbreaker. It had gotten easier for you to detach yourself from your feelings, and any time you felt yourself slipping, you would simply walk away.

  When you had met Tsukishima, you knew if his personality. Snarky, cold, sarcastic Tsukishima. Pretty soon, you two had become friends. You understood his humor and shared a lot of the same interests, and that made him find you interesting.

  It had been almost 8 months since you and Tsukishima had met. You both were dangling on the edge of ‘dating or not dating’ and while you didn’t necessarily care, you knew your friends were fed up with it.

  You liked Tsukishima, you did. But you weren’t looking for a relationship. Especially not with someone like him.

  Tsukishima, however, didn’t feel the same way. He liked you. A lot. It was almost laughable how much he liked you, and he had no idea that you didn't feel the same way.

  You stared at the 6'2 blonde man in front of you with indifferent eyes. His figure loomed over yours and you slightly tilted your head up to meet his brown eyes that shined with angry rings of gold.

  Tsukishima pushed up his glasses with two fingers and crossed his arms.

If you hadn't known him well, you wouldn't have been able to tell how irritated he was. His shoulders were rigid and his jaw was clenched. His hair had grown a bit and was now in his eyes.

"You're annoying, y/n."

A humorless bubble of laugher erupted in you and you shook your head. You had heard that phrase so many times you could practically repeat it in any language.

  When Tsukishima noticed his words did nothing to affect you, his scowl deepened. He had wanted you to get angry, storm off, so he didn't have to deal with you at the moment. He rather apologize to you the next day, after you both had cooled off.

You had commented on how negative he was all the time, and he blew up.

Proving your point.

You knew you were a hypocrite for pointing out his negativity when you carried an immense amount of negativity and hatred in your own heart, but unlike Tsukki, you were good at concealing it.

"Is that all you got? You're boring, Tsukki."

Tsukishima's jaw clenched again. You wanted to rile him up, you wanted him to get angry. You needed him to get angry so you could use it as a reason to leave. You didn't want to get too attached to him.

  You couldn't.

Tsukishima scowled. He had no idea why you were being such a brat, but it was pissing him off. All he wanted, was to watch a movie with you. He had come to love watching horror films with you--mainly because you actually enjoyed them.

"I don't know what your problem is, y/n, but you better lose the attitude."

Your lips tipped up, loving the challenge and the slight crack of confusion in his words.

  "Or what?"

Tsukishima's eyes narrowed and he let out a scoff.

"Or I'll leave."

With that, your lips tugged into a full-blown smile. Tsukki's eyes narrowed at you and his anger washed away, leaving confusion.

  You took a step back, leaning against the wall. You crossed your arms and tilted your head. A whirlpool of pain was all you could feel in your heart, but you knew you needed this.

Tsukishima was a hothead, blunt, and arrogant, and he was the exact kind of guy that would break your heart and not give a single damn about it. So, before he could, you knew you had to beat him to it.

"Leave then," you stated. 

Your eyes burned with disinterest, and Tsukishima felt like you had smacked him.

  "Leave. I don't want you here, and you don't want to be here. So leave."

Brown eyes stared at you. Tsukki didn't move, didn't even breathe. Your words seemed to have flown over his head, but he heard you, god, he had heard you.

"What?"

  You shrugged. "Leave. I'm sick of constantly bickering with you. It's annoying."

Crack.

Was that his heart? Tsukishima couldn't tell. His head was filled with too many thoughts, and the sound of his own heartbeat was making everything incomprehensible.

  "Are you-" Tsukishima swallowed and cleared his throat. "What are you doing?"

You shrugged, playing with a piece of your hair. "Breaking up whatever we are."

  Crack.

Tsukishima looked into your eyes, trying to find a sign of anything. He knew you sometimes had tended to go overboard, but he couldn't find any remorse in your eyes.

  No guilt.

No love.

Just indifference, to him. For him.

Tsukishima took a small step back. He had lost his composure and wasn't going to force a cool facade. He was too focused on the possibility of losing you to care.

"You're not serious..." Tsukki noticed how you just tapped your foot. "Are you?"

You groaned. Was he really this dense? The better part of you, the human part of you whined at you. You could have really loved Tsukishima, but you weren't looking for love. Plus, you were sure that you were unlovable.

Past boyfriends, family, and friends had proven that to you.

  "I'm completely serious," you replied. "I don't actually like you Tsukki." You saw the paled skin man inhale a sharp breath and you forced out a cold laugh. "Did you honestly think that I would be with you?"

Crack.

Tsukishima took another step back, his facade completely fading and you were greeted with a slightly hunched man, his eyes filled with hurt.

"You..." Tsukishima couldn't even form words. Was he completely looking into things the other way? Was he being too hopeful? Were your signs of affection just friendly?

You stared at the blonde man in front of you. You could tell that he was in his own head. You knew all too well what that felt like, and your heart screamed curses at you.

You leaned off the library wall. Just because you were broken inside didn't mean you had to break another.

  In fact, you were doing him a favor.  

You took a few steps closer to Tsukishima, and your heart broke when the blonde instantly lifted his head and slightly flinched at your closeness.

Tsukki stared at you with wide eyes, glazed with unshed tears. He didn't want to cry, but your words had picked apart the stitches that held back his own insecurities.

  You hesitantly put your hand on his shoulder. Tsukki's eyes were trained on you, his body was rigid.

  "You're— You're a good guy, Tsukki. But I don't like you. I can't. I won't love you the way you need me to."

Tsukishima frowned at your words.

  You took a small breath and then smiled at him.

  "I can't accept your heart. I can't hold it with love and tenderness. I don't hold hearts, Tsukki. I break them."

You dropped your hand and walked past the volleyball player.

  You only manage to take a few steps when his deep voice stops you.

"So, what? You're just gonna run every time you think you may fall in love?"

His voice was hoarse and held a tinge of disbelief. His voice wavered and you hated yourself for hurting him, but you were glad you weren't in his position.

  You didn't turn around when you spoke.

"Yes. Love just isn't for some of us, and I've learned that the hard way."

With that, you walked away from a broken man. 

well that was fun. 

header credits: @artistslayouts

taglist: @h-grangerstudies (msg me if you’d like to be added to my taglist!)

daddyjackfrost © 2021 | all content belongs to me, do not modify

[yuta1forme]

like magnets | ten

summary: in which you and ten are up and coming choreographers who are forever at each other’s throats. but maybe fighting is just an excuse to get close.

pairing: ten x reader

genre: angsty fluff

warnings: some swearing, alcohol mention, loads of bickering

length: 4.3k

tag list: @sly-merlin​ @animegirl366​ @yonoohcore​

He’s confident to the point of arrogance. He knows exactly how to get under your skin. When the pair of you start fighting, all the other dancers make their way out of the studio, not wanting to get involved in another explosive Y/N-Ten showdown. He counters your every suggestion. He always has more critique for your performances than praise. 

And yet, he is the best dance partner you could ever ask for. He matches your poise with his passion. In dance, you both have found a middle ground. 

When Ten first joined the studio you really wanted to like him. He was a young, up and coming dancer from Thailand. What you had not seen coming was that besides being the same age, you and Ten had precious little in common. The day you first met Ten, you had decided in less than ten seconds that you two would never, to put this lightly, become the “best of friends”. 

You had entered the break room of the studio that day, late and soaking wet because of the heavy downpour that had begun the night before. Hungry and disgruntled, all you had wanted to do was to grab a steaming cup of green tea and the last of your favorite jelly doughnuts. Only the thought of those jelly doughnuts had you hanging on during your hour and forty-five-minute long journey to work this morning. They were your emotional support food, your one and only indulgence. After almost three years at the studio, all the other dancers knew not to touch your jelly doughnuts. All except for the bucket-hat wearing Thai newbie who clearly hadn’t gotten the memo. 

“Those were my doughnuts”, you had barely managed to huff out, focusing your mind on not raising your voice or worse, bursting into tears.

Now, if he had just apologized for eating them without asking you first, you both might not have started off on the wrong foot. No, the fucker just shrugged and said, “Didn’t see your name on them”. No shame in his eyes, not an ounce of regret in his voice. The powdered sugar from your doughnuts still around his mouth and dusted over his all-black ensemble. That fucker.

“So people just waltz into a room and eat someone else’s snacks where you’re from?”, you asked, your pitch becoming shriller with annoyance. 

“No of course not. Because where I’m from, people don’t leave their snacks where everyone can see them, without putting their name on it first”, he replied, cool as a cucumber. 

Taeyong had entered the break room at this point. He took one look at the powdered sugar on Ten’s face and the eyes-gonna-pop-out expression on yours and connected the dots. As one of the senior choreographers in the studio, Taeyong had developed a sixth sense for sniffing out conflicts before they broke out. 

“Y/N! I see you’ve already met Ten! He’s the new dancer from Thailand. Ten this is Y/N”, Taeyong had prompted by way of introductions, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and inching closer to the door he had entered from. 

“Oh, you’re Y/N. The one who choreographed the last Pink Cashmere comeback, right?”, Ten had asked, suddenly sitting up straight. Seeing that your conversation was turning civil, Taeyong had left the room just as quietly as he had entered it.

“Yes, that would be me”, you had responded. That was your first time working with an idol group and was a milestone in your career. You had spent weeks running on pure adrenaline and Americanos (and the occasional jelly doughnut), spending day and night listening to the new comeback track, reviewing concept photos and looking up old performances to get their style down just right. When you watched the girls perform the choreography for the first time, you were so immensely proud of yourself, you hadn’t stopped beaming for days. 

“I should’ve known it was you, it had your signature footwork style all over it”, Ten had said, nodding his head slightly. You had felt flattered at that, surprised that anyone had even picked up that you had a certain trademark in your choreography.

“But, I thought it was too showy if you know what I mean”, Ten had continued, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, a slight frown on his face. 

You were almost embarrassed at how much his words affected you. While you were used to internet trolls taking jabs at your work, it was something entirely different to hear full-blown criticism from your peers. As the youngest choreographer in the studio, you rarely got challenged when it came to choreography, with most of your colleagues wholeheartedly encouraging you to spread your wings and grow no matter the outcome. It probably was not intentional on their part but it had become a fear of yours - what if nobody would outwardly challenge your decisions because they thought you were too weak to handle the truth?

Still, you felt a need to defend your creative decision. You needed to stand up for yourself. “The girls are great dancers and I thought a more challenging choreography would push them out of their comfort zone. Sooji and Maya were actually part of a hip-hop dance crew pre-debut. They were itching to try out a new concept”. 

“But why not use more formations in the dance? It’s an eight-member group. You could’ve used that to your advantage”, Ten had countered. He made a good point. But you didn’t want to concede to him. Who did this man think he was? Walking in here and questioning your vision as a choreographer?, you though to yourself.

“Most of the other girl groups that came back around that time had similar songs but only Pink Cashmere had a distinct choreography. I wanted to make their choreography memorable”, you had said. 

Ten had remained quiet for a while. “I didn’t think of it that way”, he had replied, a thoughtful look on his face. “In that case, I think you succeeded at whatever you set out to do with that choreography.  It was definitely memorable, Y/N.”

He turned his gaze up towards your face and flashed you a sweet smile. He looked like a whole different person, almost innocently brushing powdered sugar off his cheeks like a mischievous cat who had just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have done. 

Your whole first interaction with Ten had confused you. First he walked in acting like he owned the place, critiquing your choreography as if he was a veteran dancer. But then he had just as easily praised your abilities. But at the back of your mind you had this nagging feeling that whatever Ten had said to you was not in an effort to undermine you, unlike some of the backhanded compliments delivered by your peers. He had criticized you because he thought you could take it, because he thought of you as an equal. And you kind of enjoyed that.

Arguing with Ten became a part of your everyday routine thereafter. So did labelling your snacks with your names and leaving passive-aggressive messages on post-it notes.

At nineteen, you gave up a full-ride scholarship to a prestigious law school in your country and moved to Seoul with a single suitcase and your old school backpack in hand. Your family had threatened to cut off contact with you if you left the country, but you left anyway; Your passion for dance was stronger than your fear of losing them. Dance was your first love. You lived and breathed it. Like hell were you giving up on your first love that easy. 

You worked odd jobs during the day and filmed original choreographies for your YouTube channel during the night. After struggling for over a year, your hope slowly dwindling, you got a notification that changed your life. Kim Jongin, one of South Korea’s ballet prodigies had shared one of your videos on Twitter. Your subscriber count had quadrupled overnight, with hundreds of thousands of commenters dubbing you a “prodigy”. Fate brought you to Jongin, who then introduced you to Taeyong, who brought you to SM studios. 

It was a dream come true - for years you had only struggled, floating in dark and murky water, swimming forward towards a hazy future. Now, you had thousands of fans, dozens of supportive friends, and a solid foundation from where you could dream. Your friend Hendery liked to joke that you would need more than twenty-four hours a day if you wanted to do everything in your planner. And truth be told, he was right. You had given up a lot to pursue your dreams. Given up on your family, most of your friends, your home country. You wanted to make sure it was all worthwhile. So you wanted to spend every day making the most of the opportunities that you now had. You went to bed each night with a head full of ideas and woke up every morning with the fire to bring them to life. 

Of course, dedicating your life to your craft came at a cost. The rest of the world had not stopped moving just because you decided to make dance your life. This dawned on you one rosy Valentine’s Day evening, when you, date-less for the fifth year running, quite naively decided to scroll through Instagram. Amongst the sea of pink, flowers and picture-perfect happy couples were two faces that made your stomach instantly drop - your ex and a stunning woman posing for the camera with their fingers intertwined. On her ring finger, a diamond the size of a blueberry. 

You remember the day you broke things off with your ex like it was yesterday. You were at the airport, waiting to get on your flight to Seoul, positively buzzing with nerves. You had waited until you were seated on the plane to send your ex a rather heartless text message saying you were breaking up with him to find yourself and that it was best if he forgot you. Very dramatic, even for you. But you were nineteen and had just watched ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’. In return he had left you an equally dramatic voicemail, pleading with you to not end the relationship and proclaiming that he would never stop loving you. You had all but laughed at his message then.

You weren’t laughing anymore though. He was happily engaged, while you were lonely, lying in bed on Valentine’s day in a pizza grease-stained sweatshirt. You had spent the last few years working relentlessly which had given you a career that you could be proud of, friends you could rely on. But besides the occasional fling here and there, you didn’t have much in terms of a romantic life. You guessed you deserved this, that karma had finally caught up to you.  Didn’t stop you from feeling like shit though.

So you did what you always did when you felt particularly shitty. You went down to the studio, turned the music on full blast and dove right into a new choreography. You were freestyling, too lost in the moment to hear the door creak open.

“I gotta hand it to you, Y/N, that was pretty impressive!”, a male voice exclaimed. You had spun around expecting to see Sicheng or Hendery at the door. Instead, you were met with a tired but rather amused looking Ten.

He was dressed in a white silk shirt and a pair of black slacks. You noticed the roses in his hands, slightly wilted but still beautiful nonetheless. He was clearly dressed up for a date. He looked striking as always but you didn’t linger too long on that, thinking that it was your romance deprived mind projecting thoughts onto the first attractive male it saw. 

“What are you doing here? It’s Valentine’s day, don’t you have a crowd of screaming fans to attend to?”, you asked sarcastically.

“One date. And they stood me up, actually”, he replied with a bitter smile. He must have been quite upset if he didn’t have a snarky response for you.

You were truly taken aback. Ten? Getting stood up by someone? Ten, who could charm the socks off of anyone he set his eyes on, getting stood up on Valentine’s day? 

“But how?”, you blurted out, instantly regretting it when you saw the quizzical look on Ten’s face. Yet you foolishly continued mumbling, or rather digging yourself deeper into a hole.

“I mean, you’re just...so...you”, you said vaguely gesturing at his whole form. From his boyish good looks to his ability to sweet-talk, Ten’s charms were undeniable. Ever since he joined the studio, the number of signups for the afternoon classes had doubled. Dozens of people would come to the studio every day, just to catch a glimpse of him. And he indulged them all too, flashing them his signature grin or paying them a cheeky compliment. If only you weren’t all too familiar with the way he could run his mouth during an argument, you too might have fallen for his charms. 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Y/N, but I’m not quite the Casanova you expected me to be. But I will take that as a compliment”, he said with a wink that had you resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here though”, you mumbled out.  

“I like to choreograph at night. I think I’m my most creative after midnight. Besides I just got my heart broken and I should channel that emotional energy somewhere right?”, Ten said feigning nonchalance. You could tell he was genuinely upset from how his night had played out and couldn’t help but sympathize with him.

“Well, I’m here for reasons along similar lines. You could join me? Help me choreograph this new freestyle piece I’m working on?”, you had asked. 

Ten cocked his eyebrow at you, clearly not expecting you to extend an olive branch to him in this manner given how you were still being snarky with him five minutes ago. But he accepted your offer nonetheless.

You both entered your element pretty quickly, letting the music move your body freely. You worked out a simple choreography, cheering for each other when you came up with a particularly impressive move. You were having fun, even though you wouldn’t admit it to yourself. At least you hadn’t thought of your ex in the last couple of hours, mind completely occupied with the thought that you and Ten surprisingly made good dance partners. Perhaps the friction between the two of you translated to great chemistry when you were dancing. Taeyong would be pleased to know that.

“I’m beat”, you exclaimed, slumping down on the floor after the final round of practice. Ten sat down next to you, resting his back against the mirrored wall. The pair of you sat wordlessly for a few minutes, letting your heartbeats slow back down. You lay flat on the floor, too physically exhausted to move. As soon as you closed your eyes, your traitorous mind brought back the images of your ex’s engagement and you groaned loudly.

“Long day?”, Ten asked, giving you a slightly concerned look. You just chuckled bitterly in response.

“Want to talk about it?”, Ten pried in an almost uncharacteristically gentle voice. You wondered if he had ever spoken to you in that tone before. 

“I don’t know if we’re close enough to have little heart-to-hearts yet Ten”, you replied. There was an invisible wall between you and Ten that you were just not ready to tear down. The thought of sharing embarrassing details about your love life with someone you could consider a frenemy at best, too jarring. You didn’t miss the way Ten’s shoulders slightly slumped at that. You hadn’t meant to sound harsh, yet you felt somewhat guilty.

“But…maybe we are close enough to have a drink together?”, you asked, suddenly emboldened by a rush of confidence that confused even you. You took his cheeky smile as a yes.

You spent the rest of the night drunk and giggling with Ten. The thoughts of your ex were long forgotten. Perhaps you could learn to do more than merely tolerating Ten’s presence. Perhaps you could learn to enjoy his presence too.

Soon it became a ritual - if you and Ten were the last ones left in the studio, you would grab some beers and head to the roof. It was such strange departure from your usual selves that you often wondered why it was so easy for you to enjoy his company sitting under the stars like this when you would be at each other’s throats the rest of the time. 

Over time your conversations had gone from discussions about art, to plans of travelling the world, what you were currently binge-watching on Netflix, and everything in between. Still, there were some topics that you both steered clear of - talk of family and love lives was seemingly off the table.

Until one night after a couple of drinks, when Ten pulled his phone out to show you a picture of two women, one older and one younger. The striking resemblance between the faces in the photo and Ten confirmed that they were indeed his mother and sister. His sister was clad in a dark blue graduation gown and his mother was holding a beautiful bouquet of light pink roses. 

“She graduated last week, my baby sister”, Ten said practically glowing. The proud look on his face was a testament to the close relationship he had with his sibling. 

“You must miss her a lot”, you said, voice barely a whisper.

“All the time. My family are my biggest supporters. I don’t think I would have had the courage to move out here on my own if it weren't for their encouragement”, Ten answered. 

You hadn’t spoken to your family ever since you came to Seoul. In the past, the longing left a pressure in your chest that sometimes made it feel like your throat would close, choking you on your guilt. Now, it just left you numb. 

“What about you?”, Ten asked, cautiously prying into your personal life.

“What about me?”, you countered, diverting your gaze away from the man sitting next to you, instantly wary of how much you wanted to share about your past. 

“What about your family? Your old home?”, Ten asked. 

It couldn’t hurt sharing with Ten, right? It’s not like what he thought of you really mattered to you. Right?

“I actually don’t keep in touch with my family any more. They weren’t too keen on me becoming a dancer. It’s been, what, three? Three and a half years since I last saw them. When I first left home for Seoul”, you said, trying your hardest to suppress any trace of emotion in your voice. You kept your gaze focused on the city skyline ahead of you, too afraid to turn and see the expression on Ten’s face. You wondered what he thought of you, whether he thought you were stubborn. Worse yet, whether he pitied you.

After a few moments, Ten broke the silence. “I guess sometimes, not having a family is better than having one that doesn’t love you for who you are. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t possibly know how you must have felt, all these years. But I want you to know that the people who love you now, love you without any agenda. Not because they are related to you by blood, not because they are obligated to love you. But because they just love you”, Ten said, eyes shining with an emotion you didn’t know how to react to. 

“And they could be your family too”, he finished in a voice that was so warm, so gentle, you wondered if this really was the Ten who stole your jelly doughnuts when you first met.

You were speechless, processing his words for what felt like hours but was probably just a few seconds. Then you did the only thing your impulsive mind could think to do - you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. In response, he wrapped you up in his embrace. You stayed still, focusing on the faint scent of his cologne on the sleeves of his hoodie. You breathed out a thank you, soft as a whisper. Whether or not Ten heard you, he moved his left arm slightly, gently stroking your hair and continued to chatter on about some entirely different topic. 

You knew that once the sun came back up and both of you returned to your lives inside the studio, this little moment would not be brought up in front of anyone else. That moment was just for the two of you to share and bury deep within your hearts.

You knew you were in too deep one day when Ten gave you a friendly smile in passing while making his way to the break room, and you felt your cheeks and neck heat up. You had finally let the Thai dancer charm his way into your heart. 

Typical Y/N, you thought to yourself, Falling in love with any cute boy who gives you attention. But he wasn’t just any cute boy. It was Ten. Ten, your frenemy turned close confidant. Ten, who would send you pictures of cute animals he saw on the street just because you once told him you wanted to adopt a cat. Ten, who took you dancing to a club in Hongdae when you were feeling low and all but carried your drunk ass back to your home. Ten, who over the last couple of months had heard every single one of your deepest insecurities and had still chosen to stick by you. Ten who had just left a box of jelly doughnuts in the break room, next to a post-it note with your name on it. To make matters worse, you were supposed to start working on a new collaboration together this week, a contemporary piece set to an R&B slow jam. How were you meant to work with him all week when you could barely make eye contact with him? You had to physically restrain yourself from facepalming.

You spent the week, evading conversation with him beyond work and some small talk to fill the silence. But none of your usual banter. You had even turned down his suggestion to grab dinner together several times that week, to the point that even typically non-confrontational Sicheng had picked up that something was off.

“Why have you been avoiding Ten all week? I thought you guys had given up fighting?”, Sicheng asked after he cornered you one day.

“Avoiding him? Now, why would I do that when we’ve been working together all week?”, you had chuckled nervously, desperately looking for an out from this conversation.

“He’s been sulking around since Tuesday, Y/N. He said he doesn’t know what he did to upset you”, Sicheng had asked you sharply. 

The guilt in your eyes must have been apparent because Sicheng dropped his voice into a gentle whisper for what he said next. 

“I know the two of you are as good at dancing around your feelings as you are at dancing on stage. But maybe try talking to him, Y/N? I think right now, you two might have more in common than you think”, Sicheng told you as he gave you a knowing look. 

The day of the performance shoot came and there was a noticeable awkwardness between you and Ten. You decided to cut the tension by apologizing to him, citing the nerves for the performance as the reason you had been on edge the whole week. Whether or not Ten believed you, he accepted your apology and wrapped you up in his arms. You wished you had psychic abilities so you could read his mind. Did he have the same butterflies in his stomach right now?

As soon as the music started any nervousness you felt around Ten melted away. Dancing with him was like second nature to you by now. The song started with you on stage alone, dancing under the single spotlight illuminating the stage. You could see him out of the corner of your eyes, following your every move and observing you with nothing short of adoration. You left the stage for Ten’s solo and you could feel the goosebumps on your skin from watching him perform. He was absolutely stunning, moving fluidly through the movements as though he was painting with his body on the canvas of the stage. You joined him on stage for the chorus, dancing apart but facing one another as though mirroring the other’s movements. Through the bridge you inched closer and closer to one another. You felt your heartbeat beginning to rise from the proximity. 

Both of you could communicate with each other with your eyes alone. You danced perfectly in sync with one another, pulling apart only to fall right back into each other, just like magnets. So different yet inseparable. You could see it in his eyes, when he looked at you, that the emotion in his mirrored yours. You knew you weren’t imagining it when he audibly gasped as you melted into his embrace for the final move. His heartbeat was racing a hundred miles an hour, just like yours. The pair of you stood there, lips just a few millimeters apart, breathing deeply as the studio erupted into thunderous applause. You were no longer afraid to admit to yourself and to the world, that you had it bad for Ten Lee. 

And when he kissed you on the rooftop that night, you knew that he had it bad for you too. 

[justinhubbell]

I was listening to the Dead Meat Podcast (a horror podcast on youtube or wherever you get your podcasts) and found the latest episode is on Godzilla 1954! It's a really great dive into the culture surrounding the original movie's release and I was reminded of your love for Goji, so thought I'd shoot you a recommendation 💚

Oh no...not again...

I have a joke about Godzilla that I often tell, and though that is how it’s meant to be taken (as a joke) it rings true for me. Ready?

In total there are 32 Godzilla movies, and one of them is good.

Now before you get your breeches in a bunch hear me out. This fact doesn’t lessen the Godzilla franchise by any means. In fact—if anything—it strengthens it. What other movie can you possibly name with 31 sequels? There is none.

Every Godzilla fan knows that the point of these movies was not to best the original 1954 “Gojira,” but to make stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks...

...with the consequence being that all other Godzilla movies are more or less delightfully campy. In other words, bad.

When Gojira was made Toho Studios—and the Japanese economy at large—was hanging on by a thread. With Gojira they had lightning in a bottle and you better believe they C A P I T A L I Z E D on that -ish! But make no mistake...

Gojira 1954 is the best Godzilla movie ever made.

In no other Godzilla movie is the loss of human life taken so seriously. In no other Godzilla movie are the ramifications of nuclear experimentation presented with such deadly sobriety. This is not just a monster movie. It is a time capsule. It is—in my mind—a legitimate horror film. This movie is violent and the violence is not treated as entertainment.

THIS scene from Gojira makes me cry

THIS scene from Gojira makes me cry

The “Prayer for Peace” song by a children’s choir—you guessed it—makes me cry

[Note: Shinkichi‘s near-death rescue off the coast of Odo Island also makes me cry but I couldn’t find a still of it]

Make no mistake at its core Gojira 1954 is a film about death.

In no other Godzilla movie do we HEAR the monster is before we SEE it and the reveal is I C O N I C

ICONIC ICONIC ICONIC. EYE. CON. ICK.

And BELIEVE me when I say that I haven’t even gotten to the film’s score yet and I’m not going to because HERE is my main point and I’m TURNING HEEL

When Godzilla 2014 was in the works [I was] thrilled like most people, but wary. As it turned out I think the “snub nosed thicc boi” design they came up with is pretty much excellent.

But when I saw the movie I was beside myself with ANGER when story implies that we (Americans) were testing nuclear weapons off of Japan not to kill people but a monster.

This revisionist history is heartless and insulting and we did it to the original film ALSO

Entire scenes from Gojira 1954 were stripped from the American release and replaced because of so-called “Anti-American sentiment.” I still have a place in my heart for the The Raymond Burr “adaptation” because—like so many before me—it was my first introduction to Godzilla. But for them to carry out the same crap in 2014 broke my heart and for this reason

I do not consider American Godzilla movies canonical in the slightest.

They are pro nuclear. They are pro military. They are anti history. We sacrifice TOO MUCH in the name of entertainment and frankly a line was crossed with me that can’t be undone. And If I sound like a stick in the mud I don’t give a damn. HEEL TURN.

NEVER forget that Legendary tried to kill Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi‘s “Shin Gojira”

They wanted us to ONLY watch their version. They made it DIFFICULT to watch that movie in theaters! You might have missed it! and so it was ESPECIALLY delicious when despite American Capitalist tampering Shin Gojira went on to be one of (if not the) highest grossing Godzilla movie since King Kong vs Godzilla 1962 (please don’t get me started on this movie) HALLELUJAH HOLY SHIT WHERE'S THE TYLENOL!!!!!

[thunderheadfred]

We finished all of Hannibal and of course I have Thoughts but they’re obviously pretty spoilery and I’m too lazy to get my computer out and write a real post with a read more, so suffice it to say

The s2 finale / s3 opener was so committed to pulling the rug out that it forgot that Hannibal does in fact have priorities other than spraying as much blood on his carpet as possible, and the show (and Will???) immediately forgives him for throwing a heartless murder tantrum because awwwww, look, he made bad art out of a dead guy. he’s sowwwyyyy

this show fridged the same character THREE. TIMES. and not even in the funny literal way

I have So Many Thoughts about how they bungled that... but again, spoilers. Let us just say that if I ever wrote a fix it fic, certain someones would be A) not murdered for cheap shock value and B) doing the stabby stabby themselves, because “gutted” as a literal metaphor is exactly the level of beat-you to-death non-subtlety this show truly deserves

Season 3 was definitely more competent and less Halloween Spooky Bin but they just couldn’t resist having that ONE super extra (ARTICULATED?!?) craft project corpse. Did Will post it to his Insta stories or,,,,,,

Everyone is now a Batman villain. E ve r y o ne. Apparently interacting with Hannibal for any length of time will turn you into a ruthless, well-dressed psychopath. It’s transmissible.

Thanks for attempting to give us Hannibal’s boo hoo sad back story I guess? They seem to have given up halfway, explaining fuck all just so they could randomly add Chiyo the inexplicable super-sniper as a flimsy deus-ex-machina and then completely forget about her again? I read the Harris novels approximately ten thousand years ago and I can’t remember if she even exists in the books? God are we in the expanded universe now is that what’s happening

I guess breaking your spine turns you gay and nets you a trippy sex scene with your hot rich future spouse. Conclusion: Will Graham needs his back broke

I have no idea what was going on but I cheered when Chiyo pushed Will off the train. See above.

Hannibal was scarier in this season, like actually kind of legit scary again, even tho they just lifted a bunch of lines verbatim from the Ridley Scott film and used them less effectively while somehow bending the timeline into an AU pretzel but hey, that ice pick scene still got me good. n-ice

Tara from True Blood!!! She was great. Protect her

I really wanted to love Armitage as Dollarhyde but... I didn’t. I can’t tell if it was the direction or just his performance but it just.... didn’t work for me. Still INFINITELY preferred him over the freak of the weeks from s1-2, holy shit. Can’t imagine why.

I cannot BELIEVE someone’s non-con Verger Manor pwp torture porn got put on network television. I cannot BELIEVE real life actual actor Mads Mikkelsen—who has no right to look that put-together while naked, branded, and hog tied—has actually paraded himself around in the viscera of AO3’s ugliest tags for our entertainment like it was a sexy negligee

Gillian Anderson is a GIFT and I love every second she spends in anything. The crush is real, but that still can’t fix that her character made zero sense in s3, at all.

That said, Bedelia and Will sniping over Who Gets To Be Hannibal’s Tortured Love Interest was A+ trash

The whole last episode(s) is worth all the mess. Why couldn’t that have happened earlier. Yes I WILL watch a season 4, I don’t care how sloppy it is. This show is built of ridiculousness, I do NOT care. Netflix, please make it worse somehow. I dare you.

My husband spent most of this experience yelling at Will and Hannibal to kiss whenever they were onscreen.

[secondhand-trash]

The Wizard’s Castle on the North

@shinsoubowl​ Week 2019 Day 7 (Fairytale au)

A/N: The last day and hands down the most fun to write! The plot is based on a short from the French animated film Princes et Princesses which has some of the most beautiful animation I had ever seen! 

Pairing: wizard!Shinsou Hitoshi x reader

Description: Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a wizard who lived alone in his castle on the north of the kingdom. The people of the kingdom hated the wizard, and so the king made an order that whoever could enter the wizard’s castle could be married to his heir and become royalty.

Word count: 4633

Playlist:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s - Remastered//Henry Manchini

The First Thing You See//Bruno Major

Rhiannon//Fleetwood Mac

-

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a kingdom that was ruled by a great king. The people loved their king and under his rule, the land prospered and the people lived in harmony. The king’s son, the handsome young prince, admired by all those across the land, was in training to become the heir to the throne and carried on with his family’s legacy.

On the north of the kingdom, passing through acres of woods and away from the capital of the land, there stood a castle. Even the fierce beasts that inhabited the woods did not dare to go near the gloomy fortress, not to mention the people that lived in the villages near the woods. The sky above always seemed to be covered by grey clouds and black crows circling the many towers of the grand building. In the castle, there lived a wizard. It was rumored that the wizard was one of great powers, and he had enchanted his castle so that no one was able to ever enter his home.

The people of the kingdom hated the wizard.

In all fairness, the people didn’t really know why they hate the wizard but they just did. There were rumors of how cruel the wizard was and the horrible crimes he had committed. Some whispered that he hid in the deeps of the woods inside the protection of the high walls because he was cursed that all those who see his face would be turned into the crows and those birds that circled the sky of the castle were once humans who stumbled into his residence. Parents would tell their young children that they must behave and return home before sunset, or else the wizard who lived in the castle on the north would capture them and eat them alive. Many, many tales about the heartless wizard spread among the streets and lanes of the kingdom. No one knew if they were true or not but again, people were too afraid to find out for themselves. It was much easier to hate someone than to see if they were worth hating.

The great king was especially concerned about the wizard’s castle on the north. It brought fear to the people and fear wasn’t good for ruling a peaceful kingdom filled with kind-hearted people. Having this piece of land where no one could enter simply would not do and he must do something about.

And so an order was made to all the people of this kingdom that whoever could enter the wizard’s castle would marry the handsome prince.

The order shocked everyone from the nobles to the farmers in the countryside and who would succeed in entering the castle quickly become the talk of the country. Many who admired the prince or yearned for power eagerly marched their men and horses towards the north of the kingdom.

“I’m going to enter the wizards castle.”

“What?” your mother looked at you in shock as you nonchalantly mentioned. You were not a noble or a knight by any means, only an average peasant who gathered on the hill near the castle to watch as the first challenger set up their weapons and army. “You are never going to make it! You don’t have any arms or any way to break through the gates!”

You bite your tongue and didn’t say a word, only staring at the distance where the first attempt at breaking into the wizard’s castle unfolded. They wouldn’t know and even if you did tell them, no one would believe you but you had a plan. For now, you ignored the nagging of your mother and continued to watch.

The first person to make the challenge was a knight. People said that he had gone to battlefields and the enemies would shiver at the mention of his title. The knight stood afar as his men lined up in front of the main entrance of the castle, holding a gigantic wooden column on their shoulders.

Once the soldiers blew their horns and the knight swung his shining sword to give his command, the men roared and banged the column at the tall, heavy door to the wizard’s castle. You could feel the ground shook at each bang at the door and soon enough, the door slowly creaked open and the men charged into the castle as the crowd cheered.

“See? I told you that the chance isn’t yours to take!” your mothered chirped as she watched the soldiers barged through the doors in anticipation. You didn’t even spare her teasing words any attention as you fixed your stare at the tallest tower of the castle. When everyone was busy focusing on the knight’s attack, you seemed to be the only one who catch a glimpse at the hooded figure who ran past the high walls and up the tower.

You turned your gaze back to the main entrance where the soldiers went when you heard the loud gasps from the crowd around you. The many soldiers, each brave and chivalrous in their own rights, were screaming as they ran out from where they first entered the castle. There were flames bursting from the large doorway as the men escaped and the door shut in front of everyone. You could only imagine what happened to those who did not make it out on time.

“It’s a curse from the wizard!” The muttering from the crowd grew louder and louder, passing straight into the knight’s ears and he gritted his teeth in anger. He didn’t care about the failure, he wasn’t the one who was burnt by the fire after all, but his pride and reputation was severely wounded, and there was nothing more important to a knight than his glory.

As the knight marched away with the little men he had left, your mother leaned towards your ear and whispered, “Still think you can enter the wizard’s castle?”

“Of course,” you replied, “I have a plan that wouldn’t go wrong.”

The second person to arrive in front of the wizard’s castle was a general who brought with him canons and weapons that the people of the kingdom had never seen before. You heard from the people around you that the general was sent by the royalty of a foreign kingdom who hoped to marry their princess to the young prince. The general was wiser and more calculated than the knight who just faced his defeat, none of the foreign army went anywhere near the castle. Instead, the general had archers lined up on the hills that faced the building and lit the arrows on fire.

At the roar of their leader, the archers shot the arrows straight into the sky and towards the castle. The arrows landed behind the brick walls of the grand building and smoke quickly started to rise from within. The fire was not put out and the cracking of the flames could be heard even from where you stood.

“Look at that! I’m sure that they could enter the wizard’s castle this time round!” the person behind you exclaimed and pointed at the growing fire inside the castle.

You searched for the hooded figure on the walls of the castle. He ran down from one tower to another and as he sprinted, the edge of his hood blew up to show the strands of purple underneath. He stopped at what seemed like a huge wheel at the side of the castle and started turning it. A few large poles quickly appeared from the top of the castle and water poured out from it, putting out the fire.

The sky was covered by smoke as the water came in contact with the heat and everyone suddenly lost sight of what was going on. As the people coughed and tried to clear their vision, the loud screech from the hills broke through the air and quickly captured everyone’s attention. When the smoke finally started to clear off, you could see the many arrows that shoot across the sky back at where the army was standing by and the soldiers scrambled to find cover.

So it seemed that the wizard made good use of the present from the opposing forces.

The general quickly ordered for his troops to leave and the hills started to clear out of people as the soldiers darted away from the arrows flying towards them.

Your mother looked at you with worry written all across her face, “Are you sure about your plan?”

“Of course,” you said without even batting a lash, “I’m positive that it would not fail.”

Many, many different groups of people came and went in front of your eyes as no one managed to enter the wizard’s castle. Among those people, there was some of the most powerful people walking in the kingdom. Wealthy merchants, intelligent scholars, brave challengers of different sorts, all of them walked up to the tall walls of the castle with their heads high in confidence and left with nothing but the plain urge to stay alive. The longer the process continued, the more people were convinced that the wizard’s castle was cursed and it was impossible for anyone to get in. “The wizard is simply too powerful.” someone in the crowd said and everyone murmured in agreement.

“I’m going.”

“What?” your mother shouted and caught the attention of many around you as she frantically held onto your arm, “You can’t go! Didn’t you see what happened to everyone who went? You will not make it out alive!”

You tried to assure her that you would be alright but she latched onto you, “Please don’t go, I beg of you...”

You patted the back of her hand and pulled away from her grasp, “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

The people around you whispered to one another as you made way past the crowd, you even heard snickering at some point.

“They are nothing but a peasant, they will ran out screaming so fast.”

“Poor thing, I’m sure they won’t make it out alive!”

You ignored all the things they were saying behind your back as you kept walking. The crowd’s muttering only got louder as you started heading up the path towards the wizard’s castle. You did not seem to carry any weapon, you weren’t the most well-built person out there and you certainly did not know any magic. Where did you get the confidence that you could do better than all those who failed just earlier?

People held their breath as you got closer and closer to the door, nervous to see what the wizard’s curse would do to you. Your mother nearly started crying as you stood in front of the door, closing her eyes tight and not dared to witness what would happen to her child.

And then you knocked.

The sound echoed through the woods. Nothing happened for a while and suspense filled the air. Everyone’s jaw dropped to the ground as the heavy doors slowly opened and you walked in.

The doors slammed shut after you got in and you took a glance at your surroundings. For the home of someone who was supposed to be ruthless, it sure looked a lot more domestic than you expected. There were books littering across the floor and the main hall was illuminated by glass bulbs that you had never seen before. You walked closer to one of them to take a better look and saw that there was a glowing wire inside of the glass, was that made with the wizard’s magic?

“You knocked.”

You snapped up upon hearing the voice from the top of the staircase to see a man with a black hood shadowing his face. You had wondered what the wizard would be like and the deep, husky voice that passed through your ears left a much better first impression that you thought.

“Nobody has ever knocked.”

“I figured that it was the polite thing to do.” you tried to be at ease as the wizard ascend from the stairs and walked towards you.

You were afraid that the wizard was offended by the way he stayed silence. Tensing up as he stopped in front of you, you almost thought you had made a mistake with your hearing when you heard a laugh from under the hood. “You are the first person to think of asking for my permission,” the wizard said in amusement, “and for that, I thank you.”

Your eyes widened as the wizard pulled off the hood. When people spoke of the wizard, they always described him as an old man or an ugly person but that could not be any farther away from the truth as the man that stood in front of you was neither old nor ugly. The wizard that people so feared of did not look that much older than you and if you were being honest, he was actually rather easy on the eyes.

The man ran his hand through his untamed hair that was poking out in every direction and said almost sheepishly, “Sorry for the way I look, I really wasn’t expecting any guests. I’m Shinsou.”

You mentally smacked yourself for being shocked that the wizard had a name. Of course he had one, everyone had a name. People were so used to calling him nothing but ‘the wizard’ you had forgotten that under the many rumors, there was an actual person with a life and a story living in the castle on the north.

“Do you live here on your own?” you asked as you shook his extended hand.

“Yeah, it’s only me after my mentor left years ago.” he noticed that you were trying to hold yourself back from looking around and tentatively asked, “Would you like a tour around the castle?”

The wizard smiled for what felt like the first time ever in his life when he saw you nodded your head eagerly at his offer.

The castle was even bigger on the inside then it seemed to be when you looked at it from the outside. Following Shinsou closely, you felt like you had been walking for ages in the twisting hallway before he finally came to a stop. He pushed the door open and you were at awe at what you saw.

All you could see around the room was books. Tall shelves occupying each wall and filled with books from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. In the middle of the high ceiling was what looked like a chandelier but made with the same glass bulbs as the ones in the main entrance. There were blueprints and drawings scattered across the floor and a large desk place at the corner.

“This is my study where I plan all the construction in the castle. It’s really just me here so I have a lot of time to come up with different knick knacks.” Shinsou said as he picked up one of the scrolls on the shelf and rolled it out on the desk. “Wizardry is fun and all, but it can get boring very quickly if you just conjure things out of thin air all the time.”

You pointed to the chandelier hanging above your head, “So those glowing bulbs aren’t enchanted?”

“Oh, no,” he rummaged through the drawers of the desk and pulled out one of the smaller bulbs you had seen before and placed it on your palm, “I was annoyed that the candles kept blowing out so I tried to make something that would last longer.”

He felt his heart swelled with pride as you inspected the light bulb curiously, it had been a while since someone showed genuine interest in what he did. “I don’t really blend in well with people so I try to make sure that I can get everything I need in the castle.”

You thought that you would not be more amazed each time you stopped in front of a new room but the wizard’s castle did not fail to leave you speechless each time you enter a new part of the castle.

Shinsou showed you the living room and it was the coziest place you had ever been in. There were cushions everywhere and the fire place was crackling, emitting a warm glow to the entire room. He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment when he admitted that he did use a bit of the magic he was taught to keep the fire place burning all year long but quickly added that he was finding a method to still keep the fire without using log.

You nearly tripped when you felt something bumping your ankle and squealed when you looked down to see a black cat rubbing its head on you.

“Oh, hello, how did you get in here?” Shinsou cooed as he bent down to pick up the cat, “I usually don’t let the cats come in here because they get fur on all the furniture.”

Your eyes lit up at the mention that there was more than one cat and made it your mission to find everyone that was hiding in the corners of the castle as he toured you around. Although Shinsou claimed that the cats hid themselves very well, you managed to catch glimpses of the glowing eyes in the dark gaps and the tip of their tails poking out from under the furniture from time to time as you walked.

“Strange,” Shinsou mumbled under his breath as he saw you gingerly petting one of them who was napping by the window, “they usually don’t come out at this time of the day.” He supposed his cats were just as curious about his guest as he was. He sighed and thought to himself that these felines were too smart for their own good as the orange kitten that was curled in your arms flashed its owner a smug look while you cooed at it.

You frowned when you let the cat go and the feeling of fluffy fur lingered on your arms. Being back in the main hall once again, you stretched as you felt the sore muscles on your back from carrying the kitten for too long. “Was that all of the castle?”

Shinsou turned to look at you, his hand still holding onto handle that opens the door, “Oh no, we barely went through half of it. You haven’t even been in the towers and the underground.”

“Oh.” his heart dropped at the disappointment in your voice but he also couldn’t help but feel flustered at the idea that you actually didn’t mind being around him.

Truth was, he would love it for you to stay just a little longer. He was so deprived of company for such a long time that he had forgotten how nice it was to talk to someone who could give responses that was more than a meow. But the people outside would probably be worried sick of you if you didn’t return before sunset. “I would love to show you the rest of it but it’s getting late and I’m sure it’ll be late at night after you’ve seen everything.”

“I can stay the night.” his eyes widened at your quick response. You lowered your head bashfully at how rude you must sounded to invite yourself into someone else’s home like that. “If it’s fine with you, that is.”

Shinsou had to physical pursed his lips together from stopping himself from grinning ear to ear as he took you to one of the many spare guest rooms that were never used in his castle.

Flopping onto the large bed, you let out a content sigh when you felt the soft covers touching your skin. It was definitely a lot more luxurious than the linens you were used to sleeping on back home. You relaxed your tensed muscles, all that walking made your legs really tired. When you said you were going to enter the wizard’s castle, you never thought that you would end up enjoying your stay. You did it mostly out of curiosity and spite that everyone thought you could not do it but the wizard was actually a really nice person and nothing like the tales you had heard. The more you spent time around him, the more you realized that he was not that different from any other person of your age which led to the million questions swimming in your head as to why people hated the wizard so much.

You never stopped pondering that as your eye lids got heavier and heavier and you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of all the things that you would do the other day.

“There is a place I must show you.”

You looked up at Shinsou as you rubbed the black cat that was rolling on the ground. If yesterday was a day full of eye openers, then you could safely say that you had been treated to nothing less than wonders the following morning once you woke up. He led you to the astronomy tower where you saw the most fascinating charts and records on the way stars move, you thought his study was already impressive enough but then you were shown to the library and you didn’t even know that there were so many books in this world, there was a glass house at the middle of the castle that allowed plants to grow all year long even when it was winter and you were convinced that it was magic despite Shinsou’s denying smirk, and so much more. The things you had seen were already more than anything you could imagine and seeing that excited look on his face, you almost felt giddy at what he was so eager to show you.

“You know how the entire castle has access to water?”

“Yeah,” you said as you carefully followed him down the spiraled staircase with a hand on the cold tiles of the wall for support. You remembered the pipes that released water when the foreign general tried to burn down the castle and it shocked you when you twisted the facet in your room to see clear water coming out of it last night. “you said it isn’t wizardry but honestly, I’m not convinced.”

He chuckled, “Which is why I’m taking you to where the water comes from.” He stopped in front of a door that looked a lot more worn out than the other ones in the castle. There were a few cracks at the joints of each wooden board and a few darker patches splattered across the door.

He opened the door and you were left speechless.

When he said “where the water comes from”, you weren’t expecting a lake to be hidden under the grand construction that was the castle. There was small boat tied to the platform and you took Shinsou’s hand as you carefully stepped onto the boat, its body rocked gently as you sat down and you had to hold onto him for support.

Something about his strong, steady hold on your forearm felt right.

He rowed the boat to the middle of the lake and you looked around as the boat glided through the water, creating ripples on where it passed by. The lake was inside what seemed like a rock cavern and the mineral that made up the cave gave off a magical glow that you could not begin to describe. If you look closely, you could see that some of the rock actually had a glimmer to it when the ray of light from the cracks shine on it.

“It has been a while since I come down here,” Shinsou said amidst the soothing sound of the water moving, “I don’t really come here unless I have to fix the pipes.”

“Why not? It’s beautiful in here.” you said as you leaned on the side of the boat, completely at awe of the way the ripples of the water reflected onto the top of the cave.

“It gets awfully lonely sometimes,” he looked down and smiled, “when you see such views but there was no one to share it with.”

The knot in your stomach tightened at the way his smile did not reach his eyes. “Well,” you tried to sound as cheery as you could, “good thing you’re not alone now!”

“But you have to leave soon, don’t you?” Shinsou chuckled and somehow it sounded empty, like nothing but an echo of what laughter was supposed to be,”Besides, you got into the wizard’s castle! You will be marrying the prince in no time, they must be planning a celebration of some sorts.”

“But-” I never wanted to marry the prince.

You were cut off by the sudden sound of horns echoing through the cavern, your reflection on the serene surface of the lake faltered as it shook under the vibration from the walls. “It’s the king, they must be here for you.” Shinsou looked up and said, pulling his hood down once again, “You should go.”

Leading you to a balcony on top of a tower, Shinsou stopped in front of the door and smiled, urging you to go on. You took one final look at the wizard before pushing the door open. The loud cheers of the crowd was the first thing you heard as you stepped out of the door. You were slightly overwhelmed but still managed to put on a smile and wave.

“Our child of the kingdom, you had entered the wizard’s castle and showed us your great bravery.” the loud announcement of the king’s messenger flowed from the top of the hill straight to your ear, “As promised, this act will grant you eternal glory and your name will go down in the kingdom’s history as the other half to his majesty’s heir.”

The crowd roared once again and you raised your hand to calm them down. You had never spoken to such a large crowd before, not to mention to the people of the king’s court. You stopped your hands from trembling by holding onto the rail of the balcony. “Thank you. I am not worthy of such praise and I will be forever grateful for his majesty’s offer...”

You took a deep breath,

“...but I will not marry the prince.”

Everyone gasped but you ignored the crowd and continued, “Because it is the wizard I’m in love with.”

All was silence as the people of the great kingdom let the words they just heard settle in, none of them could believe what they heard until the silence was broke by a loud laugh from behind you, a laughter that was clear and joyous like silver bells. The last thing people could see was a hooded figure pulling you into the tower before the door slammed shut.

As the door swung back, you were pulled into a tight embrace by the man you fell in love with in just two days. His head buried at the crook of your neck as he never stopped laughing, for someone chose to stay with the horrid wizard who lived in the castle on the north of the kingdom instead of marrying the young prince that was loved by many. You smiled at the sweet sound that was ringing at your ear and wrapped your arms around the wizard’s waist, thinking of all the things you could do together from now on.

There had never been another person who could enter the wizard’s castle on the north ever since.

[joonsrack]

+Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon

+Genre: SFW (this chapter), E2L, attempt at crack, slow burn, WIP

+Word count: 1.2k (this chapter)

+Chapter: Prologue | 1 | ?

+Rating: General audience (this chapter; rating might go up as story progress)

+Warning:  No warning for now, except maybe the fact that i’m trying my hand at crack

+Summary: 

Celebrity chef Kim seokjin needs to salvage his reputation after being dragged in the news paper as a heartless monster out to make people cry. Enters his agent with the worst idea ever and one Kim Namjoon, the worst cook ever.

(Or: Jin is a Korean Gordon Ramsay and Joon is the bane of his existence.)

+A/N: Hello. This is for the Luv Library Collab - Culinary & Cuisine, which was due like ten days ago.... anyways. This was supposed to be a one shot but i realized i wanted to explore this plot more, so it became a WIP. I’m really proud of what the prologue came out like, heres to hoping i can pull this off during the whole thing :P

Seokjin slaps the paper down on his manager’s desk, looking like the perfect picture of confusion and exasperation. The phone is ringing in the background, as it has for the past twenty-four hours, slowly dragging him ring by ring down into insanity.

“Why are you showing me this? How is that any different than all the other times?”

Yoongi sighs deeply, not looking away from the new lamp on his desk; the fifth one this month.

Some people stress-clean, some stress-bake; Yoongi stress-shops light fixtures.

“This,-” he stresses, “is very different than all the other times” He purses his lips for a moment, finally sparring him a look after wiping away at an imaginary dust from the lampshade. “You made Jeon Jungkook cry.-”

“ Allegedly! ”

“- He’s the nation’s baby. The public wants your head” He says, picking up the magazine and waving it lethargically around for emphasis. “There will be blood to pay”.

He throws the magazine back at Jin, Jin catching it in extremis. On the first page is in big bold yellow letters: Celebrity chef Kim Seokjin bullies nation’s sweetheart Jeon Jungkook. Then in smaller characters: Has fame gotten to his head? There’s a screenshot of the tweet taking up most of the front page, looking very dramatic for what it really is.

“He asked me to rate his cooking and showed me dog vomit, what was I supposed to do?!” Jin asks, voice reaching high proportions. He doesn’t whine. He’s an adult. 

“Not asking him if this was the digested version would have been a good start.”

“And be kind to someone with an anime profile picture? In which universe?

“Couldn’t you see the little blue verified sign by his name?”

“ Anime. profile. picture. ”

Yoongi doesn’t answer, and Seokjin can’t hold back a groan. All of this happened because of the devil that is Jeon Jungkook. He knew exactly what he was doing, faking those tears during that live. Now his fans are onto him, making his life miserable.

“I merely told him his food looked like shit, but his fanbase- they’re” He pauses, shivers. Yoongi gets this unfocused faraway look in his eyes, probably going through some serious PTSD of all the time Jin set off idol’s fans. 

The phone rings, cutting through what probably is some very violent flashbacks. Yoongi fiddles at the lamp switch nervously, turning it on and off a few times to help keep his calm.

It’s the ring too many, and Jin rips the cord out of the phone in a flare of exasperation.

Under Yoongi’s startled stare, he lets his body sag on one of the couches, using the magazine to shield his eyes. Artfully, mind you; he’s not being dramatic, he’s being emotionally expressive. This situation is emotionally draining, and he needs to lay down for a sec. This probably the biggest crisis since he started gaining popularity, bigger than the time he accidentally asked Brad Pitt for nudes on twitter (Accidentally meaning he was drunk. Or so that’s what the public believes).

There’s a stretch of silence, both men contemplating every decision that led them here, in this office, with this pesky problem that is Jeon Jungkook faking tears on one of his lives to get back at Seokjin for calling his food ‘ animal regurgitation ’.

“Do you think this is the right hue for my office?” Yoongi asks distractedly, breaking the contemplating silence.

Jin sits up, letting his weight rest back on his elbow. “In all honesty it makes your head look big.” 

Yoongi’s eyes go sharp, taking badly to Jin’s criticism. He purses his lips, eyebrow arching to complete the look.

“Anyways, I found a solution.” he says, an evil glint appearing in his eyes.

“You did?” Seokjin asks, fully sitting up as confusion and worry mix in his guts. His agent waited all this time to bring it up, that just can’t be good.

Yoongi nods slowly, a mean smile stretching his lips. “I was unsure if it was the right one until now, but I think it just might be the thing to help us out of our little situation.”

“Oh?” Jin says, gulping loudly.

    “Oh, no.” Namjoon says, looking quite pale. “Absolutely not. I’ll get sued. We’ll get sued.”

“Come on now, Joonie. Think about it. It would be a good opportunity to promote your new album-”

“Playlist.” Namjoon corrects Hoseok, who ignores him.

“-Plus it’ll make you look relatable in the public’s eyes.” 

“How is me being an agent of destruction in the kitchen relatable in anyone’s eyes?”

“Look, all you have to do is go there, try not to chop your fingers off, make sure at least one of your dimples is visible at all times, and then you’re done.”

“Ok but what about my dignity? How can I ever rap about having an automatic dick if the whole nation learns I’m a useless adult.”

“Oh baby,” Hoseok says, a playful glint in his eyes. “You broke three pair of sunglasses in front of your fans last month. They already know.”

Namjoon grimaces.

“This is on a whole other level of public humiliation, Hyung. Me, in a kitchen, cooking.”

Hoseok sighs, rounding his desk he was leaning on to ruffle through the papers covering it. He’s usually a neat freak but they’ve been very busy with his last release. He grabs something from under a pile of paperwork, letting out a victorious ‘hah!’.

“There,” He says, holding out a brown envelope to Namjoon. “-It’s the proposal. Read it, and think about it, but I sincerely believe this could be a good way to promote your album.”

“Playlist.” He corrects, more resigned this time. 

His album hasn’t been doing too well; not bad, but not good either. They’re having trouble gaining traction, his agency on the smaller side and struggling to be taken seriously. He’s grateful for everything Hoseok is doing, and this is no exception. He knows he needs to do this, dignity or not.

Until something catches his eyes in the first few lines. There’s the title of the show, the producer name, the dates of filming, a slight summary of what the show is about, and then:

MC: Kim Seokjin

Because life hates him. 

His heart goes double his regular rate, hands becoming sweaty under half a second. His clothes seem suddenly too tight, too warm.

He can still remember, on that faithful pre-debut evening, lounging in his bunk bed while watching his favorite youtuber talk about himself.

It was before Kim Seokjin went mainstream and landed himself his own cooking show. Back when Eat Jin, his channel, had under 400k subscribers, and it was mostly videos of him cooking his favorite food and then gorging himself. This particular video was a Q&A, and for some reason he couldn’t understand, Namjoon was fascinated by this man, so of course he was watching it attentively. He was funny, handsome, charmingly witty in his answers. 

But it only took one sentence from Jin for Namjoon to finally understand exactly why he was so obsessed with the man:

“I like it. When my mouth is full of food. Because when I swallow, a large amount of food goes down and it feels like I’m almost going to choke- I really like that feeling.”

Namjoon had dropped his phone from the top bunk, too busy having an epiphany to even notice the sound of it smashing on the floor.

His sexual orientation was never the same after that night. 

And now he was going to lose his dignity in front of his gay awakening catalyst.

[dramaqueeenamby]

Waves [AU]

A/N: Well, you heartless bitches asked for this, so here it is. Part 1 of 2. Only tagging the few of you who expressed interest (that I can remember lol) as I don’t want to spoil anyone else’s perfect couple. 

Words: 3K

Warnings: Angst, over the top shit, etc. 

TAGS: @purple-apricots @sisterwifeudaku @idilly @honeyybey @letsshamelessqueen-m @certified-kneegrow

WAVES

Summer and Chris always had a playful type of relationship, one where insults would fling back and forth, but always with the understanding that it was all in jest.

Neither ever took anything that was said to heart.

Even when Summer told Christopher to "fuck off" and "go away," he never obliged because he knew that she didn’t really mean it.

They had an understanding. They could read each other better than anyone else in their lives could.

So, when Summer started to pull away, he noticed it immediately. As she was in the middle of filming Black Panther 2, across the globe, the physical distance put a strain on things. The twins missed their mom, and while Chris would never try to say that Summer didn’t miss the kids, something was different.

Typically, she tried to visit at least once or twice a month while being away, but this time, she said that it would just be "too hard." And, really, he understood that. Marvel’s schedules were grueling. However, he felt as though she was avoiding something.

Some…one.

On several occasions, he asked her if everything was okay, and each time, she’d smile and reassure him that she was just exhausted. At first, he believed her. Why wouldn’t he? She was his wife. He trusted her with his life, and vice versa.

Eventually, Facetime and phone calls were no longer enough for the kids. They needed to see their mother in person, and really, Chris missed her just as much.

So, he decided to surprise her, flying down with the kids to Atlanta, waiting for Summer in her rented condo. It was a wonderful surprise, Elysha and Emmett glued to their mother the whole evening, talking a hole in her head, filling her in on everything she’d missed while away.

Chris was pleased. The twins needed that. However, he also needed some alone time with his wife. So when the Hemsworth kids finally went to sleep, and he attempted to make love to her, he was most definitely surprised when she rejected his advances.

"I’m tired, baby. I had a long day on set. Maybe tomorrow." With a quick kiss on the lips, Summer brought the comforter up to her neck, turned on her side, and fell off to sleep.

That was another thing.

He couldn’t even remember the last time Summer didn’t fall asleep on his chest or nestled into his side.

Still, though….he ignored it. He believed her.

And then, the next day, Summer overslept. Rushing out of the house, she left her phone behind.

He was in the middle of fixing the twins breakfast when it lit up, notifying her that she had a new iMessage.

T’Challala 😜😜😜

He frowned.

Who….

"Chad?" He spoke to himself, ready to ignore it when it chimed again. Another text from Chad. Still, though, he tried to ignore it.

On the fifth chime though, he couldn’t help it. Grabbing it, he used his fingerprint to unlock it and opened up the thread with Chadwick.

Where are you?

Ryan is going to have your ass for being late.

I thought we were supposed to meet before filming began?

Chris’s frown deepened, but he tried to sway his suspicions. It wasn’t out of the norm for co-stars to rehearse together, especially considering the close relationship between Chad and Summer’s characters.

But then….Chris absentmindedly scrolled up to read earlier messages, and the more he read….the more upset he became. It started out harmless. However, it quickly transitioned into more inappropriate conversations. Flirting. They were flirting with each other. Heavily.

And then, he reached the explicit ones, the ones that referred to the actual acts. Sexual encounters between his wife and Chadwick, someone he thought to be a friend.

Everything that happened after that…it was really a blur. He called over a friend who lived in the area to stay with the twins before he hopped in the rental car and sped over to the set, breaking almost every traffic law.

Actually getting onto the set wasn’t a problem. He easily made his way through security and forced brief hello’s to the people he walked by. The closer he got, the more enraged he became. And when he finally reached them, saw them sitting next to each other, Chadwick whispering something in Summer’s ear, he lost all sense of self-control.

"Son of a bitch."

Summer’s head snapped in the direction of her husband as did Chadwick, but even the trained martial artist and his impressive reflexes weren’t fast enough for Chris. With one swift motion, Chadwick was yanked out of his chair as Chris’s fist connected with Chadwick’s jaw in a blow that sent him flying onto the ground.

"Christopher!" Summer stood in shock as Chris waited no time in jumping on top of Chadwick, continuing to rain his fist on top of a confused Black Panther. "What are you doing!"

"Did you think I wouldn’t find out!" Chris continued to shout as his fist repeatedly connected with Chadwick’s face. Chad made fruitless efforts to separate himself from the irate Australian, but it was no use. Chris’s size in conjunction with his rage were a recipe for disaster for the South Carolina native. "Answer me, you fucking bastard!"

"Baby, please!" Summer cried, trying to grab her husband by his forearm as security attempted to intervene, one of the guards trying to move Summer away only for her to push them away. "Christopher, you’ll kill him!"

"I don’t give a fuck!"

"Christopher, please," she plead, thankful as four guards finally pried him off her nearly unconscious costar.

"How long?"

Summer couldn’t breathe. She felt as though there was an insurgent of pressure being placed on her throat, making each breath she took that much painful. "Baby, please-"

She jumped back in fear as he kicked over the closest object, a filming camera."How long, Summer!"

At that point, she wasn’t even thinking about the crowd watching the scene unfold or the on-set parademics who were attending to a bleeding Chadwick. Her only concern, her only care, was for the distraught man in front of her, whose eyes were filled with the undeniable pain he was masking with pure rage.

"Answer me!"

Pressing her lips together, she dropped her head in shame, holding onto her stomach. "T-t-hree months."

Silence.

Summer felt like she was going to pass out.

"You bitch." Her heart throbbed from the ruthless tone of both his voice and his words. Never had he called her out of her name. Ever. "So what, you film for a few hours, go back to your hotel and call up me and the kids and pretend like give a fuck about us-"

"I love you," she croaked, wincing as he kicked another object.

"Bullshit!"

"Baby," she tried to grasp his face only for him to shove her away. "Baby, please-"

"How could you do this, Summer? To the kids?"

"Baby, can we discuss this somewhere priv-"

"Why? You don’t want everyone else to know you’ve been fucking your costar, your married costar?" Chris was purposely raising his voice as to attract as much attention to the situation as he could. He wanted to humiliate her, just as she’d done him. "Then again, you could clearly give two shits about wedding vows-"

Her jaw trembled. "That’s not true."

"Oh no?" His eyes widened in disbelief as he moved closer to her, staring down at her. "So then tell me why-how the fuck you could do this?"

"Baby," Summer reached out to touch his chest only for him to pull away from her.

"Don’t touch me, Summer," he whispered harshly. "You disgust me."

"I swear to you, Christopher, it meant nothing-"

"Then why the fuck has it been going on for all this time, Summer? Huh!" He shouted. She cried harder. "You’ve been fucking him all this time, and now you really want me to believe that it meant nothing?" His volume lowered, and while Summer thought she’d be grateful, she saw that it only lowered because of the emotion seeping through the anger. Never had he looked at her with such pain. Ever.

The fury that coursed through his body briefly broke. "I love you." The way his voice broke halfway though ‘love,’ the devastated betrayal in his normally vibrant blue eyes, the slump in his posture as he stared at her with a plethora of questions and emotions.

Summer had never so strongly desired for the earth to swallow her, to rip her from this nightmare that she called a reality. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Deep down, she knew that she would be exposed.

"What’s done in the dark always comes to the light."

Grandma’s words never rang truer than in that very moment.

"There’s nothing, nothing, Summer, that I wouldn’t have done for you." Summer was no longer concerned with the audience even though most of the onlookers had dispersed as not to invade on a clearly private and intimate situation. However, what unnerved her was the way in which he was talking.

In past tense.

"You’re upset, and you have every right-"

"Don’t fucking patronize me, Summer."

"I’m not," she croaked, clasping her hands in front of her and closing her eyes. "I swear I’m not. I just-let’s talk-"

"For what? The kids are staying with me."

Her eyes shot open. "W-what?"

"The house is just as much yours as it’s mine, but I’m not uprooting the twins, so you can pack your shit-"

"W-w-wait." Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult for the Academy Award Winner, and her vision was all but a haze as her tears clouded her eyesight. "Wh-what are you saying?"

Chris stilled, turning his head to avoid the conflicting emotions that we’re making his communication that much more irrational. "What the fuck do you think I’m saying, Summer?" He forced himself to look at her, the woman he’d promised and given the world only for her to scoff and demand the universe instead. "It’s over. I want a divorce."

She scoffed, almost falling back. "N-n-no. You-you don’t mean that-" Summer laughed, delirium settling in as her preferred defense mechanism. "We-we can work through this.

"No, we can’t," he replied coldly as she dubbed over, breathing heavy and sporadically. "This-this is beyond repair."

"Don’t say that," she cried, shaking her head. "P-please don’t do this."

Chris scoffed, finally allowing the tears he’d been holding back to fall. "I didn’t." A beat. "You did."

——

Panting, sweating, eyes bloodshot and wide, he looked around the dark space, the only light emanating from the moon that dimly shone through the wall of windows on the other side of the room.

In a panic, he glanced down and to the side, shutting his eyes in silent relief. Summer laid there, turning on her side, most likely because his abrupt movement pushed her off his chest. As she shifted her body, trying to find a comfortable position, he both told himself to leave her be while reaching over to wake her up.

"Summer, he whispered, his large hand gently shaking her shoulder. When she moaned and failed to move, he increased his volume. "Summer, wake up."

She whined, moving her shoulder to shake his hand off, mumbling incoherent words.

He sighed, running his hand over his face. "Honey, it’s important."

Summer also sighed, turning on her back, eyes still closed. "Is it the kids?"

"No."

"Then fuck off, Christopher. My jaw is still sore."

He rolled his eyes and moved on to plan B. Kicking the blankets off, he reached over, lifting her up in his arms and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Christopher!" She groaned, hitting him on his back as he walked them over to the sitting area in the separate part of their large master bedroom. "I hate you."

As soon as he placed her down on the sofa, she was on her side, attempting to go back to sleep.

Chris pinched her calf, prompting her to kick him before he lifted her legs and sat down beside her, allowing her to rest her calves on his lap.

"Sweetheart, I just had the worst fucking dream."

"That I stabbed you in your eye for waking me up? Give it time. It just may become your reality."

"You cheated on me."

At that, Summer’s eyes shot open. Eyebrows furrowed, she sat up a little, supporting her weight on her elbows. "What?"

Chris kept his eyes forward while his fingers grazed her smooth legs. "With…Chadwick."

Her eyes doubled in size. "Wait a minute." Chris watched Summer sit up all the way, removing her legs from off his lap so that she could sit on them, placing her closer. "Run that by me again."

"You two had been having an affair for months. I showed up with the kids to surprise you while you were filming, and you left your phone, so I saw the texts….."

"Wait, Chadwick as in Boseman? As in married and just had a whole baby, Mr. Boseman?"

"I showed up at the set and kicked his ass-"

"Like on the actual set set?" The more she heard, the harder it was for her to believe. "Whew chile. The dream ghetto."

"You and I got into it, well, really, I was furious-" he stopped when he heard snickering. "What the hell, Summer?" She was laughing. Literally, genuinely, wholeheartedly laughing. Hand over her mouth, Summer was clearly humored by the whole scenario. "This shit isn’t funny."

"No, it’s fucking hilarious." She corrected, wiping at her teary eyes. "Can you imagine me messing around with Chad’s cranky ass? Love him to death, great guy, but he can be a bit boring-"

"What exactly do you love about him?"

"Chris." She rolled her eyes, clearing her throat to get back to the topic at hand. "Really?"

"It’s a legitimate question."

She pushed her lips together and tilted her head to the side. "Is it though?"

Chris’s eyes fell over to the nightstand on her side of the bed. "Would you let me see your phone?"

Summer paused and chuckled. "That’s funny." She waited for him to say something, to join in on the joke, but he never did. "Christopher…" The Australian gleaned from the way his wife pulled away from him, her shoulders dropped, and eyes wide with surprise, that he’d perhaps gone too far. "You…do you not trust me?"

He reached over and pulled her back into his side. "Of course, I do."

Summer pulled away and climbed off the sofa. "It doesn’t sound like it."

He sighed. The last thing he’d meant to do was hurt her, and it was painfully evident that that was exactly what he’d done.

Standing up, he looked to see her laying on her side, on the bed, back toward him.

"Summer…." She remained quiet. "Honey-"

"How could you even allow yourself to think that I would-that I even could cheat on you?" She finally spoke, leaning up on her elbows to look at him. Chris turned his head to keep him from seeing the tears glistening in her eyes.

"I didn’t mean it like that-"

"Then how the hell did you mean it?" She demanded, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. "Because it sure as hell sounded like that."

Gently grasping her by her arms, he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms and securing them under her chest. "Summer, listen to me." He pressed his lips into the back of her shoulder. "And I know that our schedules have been hectic the past few months-"

"So what, because I don’t see you for a little while, you think I’m just going to seek comfort in the arms of another man?" She murmured, Chris noticing the decreased hostility in her voice as a sign that she was calming down.

"I just-I want, fuck, I need you to know, to always know how much I love you, and that I never want to do anything to make you feel unloved or to push you away."

"You won’t, Christopher," she sighed, placing her hand over his. "Unless you wake me up again because of some crazy ass dream, then I’m leaving your long neck ass for the pool boy."

"We don’t have a pool boy, Summer."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "I didn’t tell you." She yelped as he flipped them over so that she was on her back, his body hovered over hers. "His name is-"

"I don’t give a shit," he abruptly cut her off, kissing along her jaw, his hand moving up the side of her thigh.

She pouted. "Very rude, Mr. Hemsworth."

"My apologies, Mrs. Hemsworth," he chuckled, ripping off her underwear in one swift swipe. "Allow me to make it up to you."

Chris went to pull her shirt over her head when she stopped him. He frowned as she brought her hand to his chin, forcing him to look at her. "Hey." Summer lifted her other hand to his face, pushing back the short strings of hair that slightly grazed his forehead. "It’s you." He gave her a faint smile. "Always you, baby."

He pecked the top of her breast. "I love you."

She smiled and licked her lips, allowing him to lift her shirt over her head. "I love you too, Son of Odin."

He groaned. "Summer."

"Sorry," she laughed, quickly switching positions so that she was on top of him. "Allow me to make it up to you."

And that was exactly what she did, all while managing to avoid Chris looking through her phone…..

[kpopnatalie]

The Last Of Us |BTSxREADER|

Chapter 1: The Infection

Y/N’s POV

Ever since I was a little girl I was always scared of zombies or the thought of an apocalypse happening. I was always told that it would never happen, but I guess they were wrong.

3 years ago a virus broke out, it was said that it may have started at a mental health institute or a hospital. Either way the government had special scientists test on the people for who knows what, but by the looks of it something went terribly wrong and that is where the virus started. So here I am stuck in Boston, but hey don't get me wrong I love Boston it's a beautiful place...well it was until the infection started and everything pretty much got destroyed.

I am from Utah, USA and this was my first time truly leaving the state. I was 14 when I got here and then the terrible outbreak happened. After 3 years I am still here. Alone. My family died and all I could do was run and cry, cry and cry. I wondered, "How am I still alive." Because if I am honest I am not one of those smart, intelligent, or strong people you see in those zombie films that survive. So how am I here? I guess God just didn't want to take me just yet.

But now I am smarter and braver than ever, my name is Y/N L/N and I am 17 years old. I am surviving for my family, but not living. How can I when those Clickers are everywhere? You see, after the outbreak of this 'virus' the government took total control of the country. They said it was the only way to protect its citizens. But I am calling B.S. on that one because they use so much force against us. We also have a curfew which is 7 pm to 7 am. And if we are caught outside they send us to jail. Our currency now is ration cards, that is how we trade among ourselves. The military also keeps a close eye on us.

I have some 'friends' or should I say people who owe me favors. You see here, we must be heartless and cold to survive and taking favors of others is great, other than I actually have to do something. I have bought food, given ration cards away, fought side-by-side, and somethings that are just not worth mentioning. And now those people owe me. Now that is how I live.

This town is like a wasteland, it is rundown and looks old. Man, I feel so bored here...wait I know I should visit one of the few friends I truly have, Jungkook, he is actually Korean and was in a famous boy band, but I will let him tell it. Also, he doesn't know that I actually know he was a celebrity. He likes a private life now. He is also the one who saved me 3 years ago. I owe him one.

I was going to leave when I hear my door open. "Hey Y/N, what are you doing?" Yes, I taught him how to speak English better.

"I was just going to go and visit you. I was bored and didn't have anything better to do." I say while smiling.

"Well I sold some of our drugs and we made all of this." There he holds a stack of ration cards. Wow, he really sold a lot. Before you start calling us drug dealers we actually sell medical drugs for sicknesses. It is hard to find these and sometimes we have to steal from the military.

"Wow, that really is a lot of ration cards. I am actually surprised that you were able to pull it off." I say with a smirk on my face.

"Wha-what? You question my amazing abilities? I am truly offended right now." He says with a pout. I start laughing.

"Well, I think we should go find Richard because he has something of mine and I want it back," I tell Jungkook in a serious tone.

"You mean ours?" Jungkook says with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah yeah, let's just go," I say while walking out the door.

"So he is in the 4th- " Jungkook begins.

"Fifth." I correct him.

"Oh yeah, the fifth district." He says chuckling.

As we walk to the border you can see graphite and tags all over the walls. 'Butterfly will never surrender' or 'We will Never Ever Give Up -BUTTERFLY' Butterfly is a rebellion against the government.

We make our way to the border and it is blocked by a high barbed wire fence and a military guard on both sides. "I got this," I say to Jungkook. He just nods his head.

"What is your business here Miss?" The guard questions me.

"I just came to visit a friend of mine that's on this side," I tell him innocently. I hand my ID booklet to him and he checks it.

"Okay, you may go." As the door was opening an explosion goes off on the other side. "Lockdown NOW!" Says one of the guards and the door start to close. I and Jungkook back up and hurry inside.

"Where to now?" Jungkook asks me. I remember that a man named Steve knows a secret passageway underground and he coincidentally owes me something.

"You see that old looking building right there?" I point to it which is on the corner of the street.

"Yeah I see it, but what about it?" Jungkook asks. Man, has he never heard of Secret Steve?

"That is where we are going, there is a secret passageway over there." He looks surprised and then he dashes for it. Wow, so he is just going to leave me here? I sigh and run after him. "Wait up Jungkook!"

I make it in the building and I quickly hit him. "So you would just leave me just like that?" I ask him in an angry tone.

"Haha, it's not my fault you are slow and short." With that, I just leave him.

I make my way down the hallway and turn left. There I see a living room with Steve just casually sitting down. "Hey Steve, so where is that secret passageway that you are so well known for?" I say while walking around the room touching things with a disinterested face.

"Ha, like I would tell you about it." So he wants to play it like that. Okay, fine two can play at this little game of his.

"That is funny of you to say when I was the one who single handily saved your daughter. If I had not stolen that medicine from the military base she would have been long gone. It would be a shame if the military found out who stole their precious medicine from them, you know, and it was a 100 percent not me right? Because you put me up to it so God forbids they find you and execute you as punishment. You agree with me right?" I put a cold expression on my face. I truly wasn't afraid of telling the guards that he stole it from them. This world made me cold. Only Jungkook truly brings joy to me. I wonder where the rest of Bangtan is, he won't talk about it.

"You wouldn't dare, would you?" He says loudly at first while standing but then gets quieter after he says the last part. It was as if he realizes that I would.

"Do you want to test it out and actually see? I am not afraid." I walk closer to him and smirk.

"It is behind the bookcase." I smile and nod to him.

"Don't worry sir, she won't hurt your daughter," Jungkook says, reassuring the man, "but about you, well I am not too sure about that," Jungkook says with a smile. The man looks petrified. "Have a good day sir." Steve sits down and stays quiet.

"Hey, Jungkook can you help me with this bookcase. It is heavy." I tell Jungkook while I was having troubles pushing it. He chuckles and nods his head.

"Where would you be if I wasn't here?" He says while pushing the bookcase to the side. I look at the hole and jumped in.

"Dead," I say and I land safely. I hear a thump and turn around. Jungkook smiles at me.

"Let us look for supplies that we may need," Jungkook says as he leads the way. I just follow behind. I better get back what Richard took from me. He knows that those are not his to take or better yet sell. I swear if he sold it I will kill him myself.

Previous | Chapter 2

[tumblunni]

Help bunni decide a cosplay!

Sadly im probably gonna be missing the gaming con thats happening soon thanks to all the dentist stuff and sister stuff leaving me flat broke. But im gonna aim to go for the film amd comic con in march, even if its more of a marvel and dc thing with only occasional other stuff. But the nice shopkeeper i befriended at christmas will be there! Also if i go to one thats a little further away i have time to attempt to make a cosplay maybe? The only problem is that i still have no idea what to pick!

* Idea 1: Magma Admin Tabitha, because i look almost exactly like him and itd be less pressure worrying about my self being innacurate no matter how accurate the costume is. Negative side is that the costume is quite complex and would probably be really hot and heavy wearing two layers and then a binder underneath. Unless i can manage to make some sort of fake turtleneck jumper thats more breatheable?

* idea 2: team galactic grunt! Cos theyre my faves of faves! Also i already have the hair lol. Not sure exactly what material to make the uniform from though, whats affordable but still cpuld look like spacesuit stuff? Also id be worried about people making fun of me for being fat and cosplaying a thin character.

* idea 3: team skull grunt! Cos theyre my second favpurite team and there's at least one chubby grunt in the anime. However both a downside and an upside is that its sort of a "casual cosplay"? Would be very easy to make and i might feel guilty i took the easy option.

* idea 4: C H A R O N. Pluses: it my fave character in all of fiction forever. Minuses: its hard to dresd up as an accurate grandpa withput wearing complex makeup or a latex mask, both of which are really uncomfortable and look awful. Also embarassing to dress as an accurate grandpa, alas! Kinda embarassing even to dress as him without the gramp makeup and bald cap and stuff, cos anyone who knew who he was would know he was a grandpa. "Why do you like a grandpa?" says rational person number 258, and bunni dies of embarassment

* idea 5: pokemon gijinka? Plus is that i can make up the design so nobody can ever tell me i'm wrong and if i cant find the rigjt materials i can always improvise. Minus is that i have NO IDEA which pokemon to pick! So many good ones!!! And aaa i cant really do my gijinka rotom oc Gizmo cos i really don't think the whole design would work on me when im a different body shape, skintone, hairstyle etc.

Idea 6: gijinka of some other fave monster from another game?? Cos pokemon gijinkas are common but heartless gijinkas are less so. Also way less monsters to choose from! But less of a chance of being recognised unless i just pick the basic Shadow :/

Addendum idea: floaty pal? I was thinking i could possibly have my rotom plush on one of those nearly invisible strings and figurw out how to wire it down my sleeve so i could make it move. But thatd probably require a lot more smartness than i have!

So aaaa does anyone have any tips? Or any of these ideas sound good to you?

[neo-cherryy]

“I Need a Heart” || Colby Brock

Request: @justmeabbbby – Colby x reader story where reader dresses up as Dorothy for a Halloween party

Tense: 3rd person

Summary: Colby dresses up as a scarecrow and goes to a Halloween party to find his ex, however he may found the Dorothy who could help him find a/fix his heart.

A/N: It’s really short and it sucks but my Ask box is spazzing out lol, but still request if you have anything you want me to write about Xx

Colby had been convinced into going to a Halloween party on a pretty cold night. He had realised that his ex-girlfriend was going and instantly decided in wanting to go. He wasn’t quite over their relationship, even if she did treat him like a property and not a physical being. None of his friends liked her but just dealt with her for Colby’s sake, but none of them realised that he was only going in attempts to rekindle their relationship.

He walked in, almost immediately searching for her. When he saw her from across the room, he slyly made his way over and away from his friends. He knew if they saw then they’d try and stop him.

“Hi,” he said, smiling and tapping her on the shoulder.

“Oh,” she said, turning round disappointed when she saw that it was Colby. “Look at that, you’re a scarecrow,” she said, practically taking the piss and almost spitting out poison.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor. “Can we talk?” she laughed loudly, catching the attention from a few people.

“No,” she said plainly. “I don’t have time for this,” she then walked away, drink in hand and arms linked with her friends. Colby hadn’t realised that (Y/N) was watching painfully from a distance, after the girl had gone she decided to walk up to him.

“Hey,” she stood casually, not making any eye contact. Colby had turned round and looked amused at how both of your outfits fitted. “That looked like she bummed you out pretty bad,” she nodded towards where the girl originally stood.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. “She broke my heart really bad, I guess I hoped to fix it, you know?” she nodded and looked up at him, holding a reassuring smile on her lips.

“It takes time, trust me, but you’ll be fine,” she waved him off. “We all are eventually.”

“Well, you are Dorothy tonight,” he stated, pointing towards her attire. “And I’m a broken, heartless scarecrow, so maybe you could help me find one,” she shook her head and laughed.

“Maybe,” she took a sip from her drink. “But I can only lead you to the main man, we all have our own wishes.”

He smiled down at her, and gave her a softened look. “Perhaps we could go for dinner sometime before we went to see this main man.”

She shrugged. “If it’s free food then I’m down.”

                                                           ***

The two had left the party as Colby didn’t want to stay any longer, just to stare at his ex-girlfriend making out with other people. They were now sat in a small milkshake diner across town, not too far from where the party was.

“That’s such a stupid thing to do,” she said, stirring her milkshake with her straw. “Did you guys not get arrested?”

“No, the best part- well not the best part- but anyway, was that it wasn’t actually police. We think we were getting led somewhere to be killed,” he said, becoming excited but also pretty self-aware. She was listening intently, drinking from her milkshake almost like someone watching an intense film would eat popcorn. “And right when we drove away, some guy was stood in the road almost waving and trying to get us to stop. It was insane,” she looked out the window, instantly becoming conscious of their surroundings. “We’re fine,” he touched her hand that held her glass, which caused her to turn and look at him.

“You’re fucking crazy, man,” she laughed. “But sounds legit, so how come this girl didn’t work out?”

He sighed. “Other guys, kinda the usual for me. She was interested in having more than one, rather than just sticking with me. When I say it now it makes me realise, but feelings suck and don’t go away that well.”

“I feel you,” she rolled her eyes. “But like I said, you’ll get over it soon, everyone is okay eventually.”

“Cheers, Dorothy,” he raised his glass up slightly to touch it to hers.

“Cheers, Scarecrow.”

[bananxjin]

...I’m In Love With You // Mark Tuan  Reader

|| List ||

|| One || || Two ||

Word Count: 1,755

Synopsis: Reader feels like her relationship with Park Jimin is coming to an end. Thankfully, her best friend and co-worker, Mark Tuan is always there to pick her up.

|| Fluff/Angst ||

Chapter 2: Mark

☆

“Thank you for yesterday, Mark.” (y/n) said as we sat in the quiet conference room, sipping our morning drinks. I smiled at her.

“You really don’t have to thank me.”

“But I do! You really helped and I’m feeling so much happier today!” She beamed.

After we finished shopping last night, I took her back to my apartment. We made dinner together even though I insisted that she’s my guest and I’d feel rude letting her help me, but she was persistent.

“I’m usually used to making dinner by myself.” I told her. “I am too!” She laughed as she continued to cut up the carrots. I hummed as I brought the water to a boil before pouring the rice into the pot. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. I really don’t mind if you want to go lay down or take a bath or-”

I’d stopped mid-sentence when she hugged me from behind. I could distinctly feel her arms around my waist and her cheek against my back. “Thank you for caring for me, Mark. But I promise, I don’t mind at all.” She’d murmured, her hugging becoming just a little more snug. I couldn’t help the smile that had spread across my face as I’d wrapped my hand around hers, “If you’re that sure, then.” I mumbled. I’d be lying if I said that that moment we’d shared didn’t have any effect on my heart or my feelings for her. Her very presence in my apartment made me just a little more conscious of my surroundings.

A little more conscious of her being.

I couldn’t even believe I’d offered for her to come over. It was like my mouth was able to work faster than I could think, and it just sort of… Came out. “Stay with me tonight.” God, that sounds so much more intimate than it should, and of course I didn’t mean it in that way. She’s been my best friend for several years now and she just discovered something that could very well likely ruin her relationship. I would’ve felt heartless just leaving her at the train station to cry her eyes out in the pouring rain.

After dinner, I listened  while she let all of her feelings out. She cried harder when she thought back to how she had to see Jimin be affectionate with another woman. All I could do was hold her and stroke her hair as her tears dampened my sweater. For most of the night, she was sat in my lap and her hands either tucked in between her thighs or when she was really upset, she’d wrap her arms around my waist. I didn’t mind, I just wanted her to feel better, and I felt awful that there wasn’t more that I could offer to help her.

It upset me to think that anyone would hurt her in the first place and hadn’t it been for her comfort being my first priority, I would’ve went straight to their apartment and socked Jimin right in the jaw. She’s such a sweet, wholesome person. She’s the type of person who’s always giving and never expects anything in return. Her smile and go-lucky attitude makes it hard for you not to be happy when she’s around; just her very presence in the room makes the air feel lighter. That sounds cheesy, and maybe I’m just biased, but regardless I know she didn’t deserve this, and no matter what their problems are (or were) like at home, I don’t think it validates Jimin going behind her back.

She eventually fell asleep in my arms last night, and I carried her to bed. I tiptoed back to the living room as I didn’t want to wake her up. I got an extra blanket and pillow from the linen closet and I started to lay them down on the couch until I heard (y/n)’s soft voice behind me.

“Why are you sleeping in here?” She asked in a voice that was barely audible. I smiled at her, “Well I wasn’t about to make you sleep on the couch.” I chuckled.

“Sleep with me.”

My eyes widened and I immediately looked away from her. I heard her giggle, “Not like that, Mark! I just… I want to be close to you tonight.” She explained to me, her voice getting softer towards the end. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, and you being around… It just makes everything better.”

I could say the same for you.

“I just uh… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” I replied, pulling at the hems of my sleeves. “I won’t be uncomfortable, I just need someone.” She told me. Her cheeks turned a light pink as she looked down at the floor. I smiled and walked up to her, embracing her in a comforting hug.

“I’ll do it for you then.” I whispered softly against her hair.

“Mark? Mark?” (y/n)’s voice broke my train of thought. She smiled softly at me before shifting her eyes back down to her mug. Her finger lightly danced around the rim. “I’m sorry I think I spaced out there for a second.” I admitted. She giggled, “It’s fine. I asked if you were sure it’ll be okay with your girlfriend that I stayed the night with you?”

My eyebrows knitted together and I gave her a quizzical look. “What girlfriend?” I chuckled, “(y/n), you know it’s been a long time since I’ve dated Anyone.”

She shrugged and diverted her gaze away from me again. “Where’d that come from anyway?” I questioned, a slight lilt to my voice. She sighed, “Curiosity.” She replied, growing quiet. I figured yesterday’s incident was still on her mind and the whole scene would leave a scar. I silently debated with myself whether or not I should address the elephant in the room.

“So… What do you think you’re going to do?”

She shrugged and released her mug, and letting her hands settle in her lap. “I figured I’d go back tonight and try to talk to him. If we can’t work things out, then…” She trailed off into silence.

“You can stay with me.” I blurted out once again. I mentally cursed myself, of course I want her to stay with me. I have such strong feelings for her and i want to know that she’s going to be okay, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to take advantage of her in a vulnerable situation. I just know she doesn’t have anywhere else to go, and I’m not about to let her pay out a bunch of money to be living out of a hotel for God knows how long.

Besides, if Jimin were to lash out at her, I’d be there to have her back.

(y/n) was staring at me with wide eyes; shock written all over her face. “Mark, I couldn’t.” She hissed, bringing her voice to a silk whisper lest we wanted any of our coworkers eavesdropping on our conversation. “I don’t want to become a nuisance in your home-”

“How many times could I possibly tell you: You’re not a nuisance. It’s a pleasure spending time with you-”

“Okay, well what would our co-workers think if they saw us coming in together everyday?” She sighed as she propped her cheek against her hand. I smiled at her, “We don’t have to come in together. I’ll let you go in first, and I can wait by my car for a couple of minutes.” I suggest, “I park over at the train station anyway so it’ll be like nothing is out of the ordinary.” I explained with a satisfied smile on my face.

Her face was one of melancholy, her lips tightened into a thin line. “Only if Jimin and I can’t work things out.” She told me.

“Only if you and Jimin can’t work things out.” I repeated back to her while maintaining my smile. I didn’t want her to think anything was wrong, but I’d be surprised if she actually chose to stay with Jimin despite him having an affair.

“What are you hoping will happen?” I asked, leaning in just a little closer. She shrugged and her eyes darted away from mine. Her shoulders seemed to tense up at the thought. “I… I’m not sure. I want things to work out between Jimin and I.” She sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I want things to be the way they were when we first hit it off, but I have this sneaking suspicion things will never be like that between us.” She continued, “Ever again.”

I frowned and walked around the table so that I could hug her, “It’s going to be okay, (y/n).” I whisper against her hair. She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my shoulder, “No matter what happens, everything’s going to be okay; you’ll be okay.” I tell her. She makes a small sniffle and nods her head against me. “Thank you for always being there for me, Mark.” Her voice cracks. My hand gently strokes her hair, “You know you can always count on me.”

6:45pm

(y/n) had chosen to take the train home and she said she’d call me if she needed me. I’d just finished preparing the salad when my phone went off.

“Hello?”

“Mark…” (y/n)’s voice cracked and she sniffled. She sounded like she’d been crying for awhile. I turned the stove off and placed the salad in the fridge. “I’m getting ready to walk out the door. Are you okay? Are you safe?” I bombarded her with questions, grabbing my keys off the counter and heading for my car.

“Mhm, I’m just… I just need you right now.” She her voice got higher like she was trying to hold back from crying again. “I promise I’ll be there soon.”

“I walked back to the train station near the apartment. Just please hurry.” She hiccupped.

Within fifteen minutes, I was parked outside the station. I ran up to the platform where I saw her huddled against one of the posts with her purse and duffle bag held tight against her. As soon as she saw me, her face scrunched up like she wanted to cry again. I immediately ran to her and embraced her in a tight bear hug. She clung to me like she had the night before as she released all of her tears and frustration into my sweatshirt. I could feel her fingers gripping tightly onto the fabric as I cradled her head in one hand and held her snug against me with my other arm. We didn’t say anything to each other, she just needed to let it all out. She just needed comfort.

I’m so sorry, (y/n)...

Okay I wasn’t planning on posting this tonight, but guess what! Here it is! Sorry it’s been so long! I’ve had writers block plus a lot has been going on with school. (I’ll be working at a film festival next weekend, can y’all believe that?!) Anyway! I hope you enjoy!

♥Rei

[unfortunatelysirius]

Winter’s Kiss [Newt Scamander – Pre-Hogwarts]

♥ PROMPT ♥ [Requested] She would never be a disappointment to him. ♥ A/N ♥ Hopefully, lovely anon, this wasn’t complete shit! If it was, just be honest with me about it and I’ll redo it, lol. I really am praying that you’re alright with me making Hogwarts the setting! For some reason, I feel more comfortable in having my imagines set there. Hope you enjoy, though. Love you, darling! xx :] ♥ WARNINGS ♥ Swearing, Fluff ♥ WORD COUNT ♥ 1563

IT SHOULDN’T HAVE SHOCKED HER. Quite frankly, she should have bloody well expected it. Professor Goldberg was a blunt, formidable man, filled with hollow anger and steely-gazed facades. Y/N knew this—she knew this. People warned her, told her to keep her head down and avoid contact. He’ll hurt you, they’d whispered. You’re insecure and vulnerable; he preys on students like you.

He was the Slytherin Head of House, a Potions Master. He was arrogant, thinking himself so mighty that he could bloody well pass as the saint Merlin himself. He was also cold, vicious, and downright cruel. All three were traits he used as weapons against Y/N’s sensitive persona. He was a fitting model of Slytherin stereotypes, and this did not fare well with Y/N. It felt just as unsettling to Newt Scamander, her best friend and Potions partner.

She honestly hadn’t met to lose her scroll on wolfbane, but she was running a tad bit late to her first class of the day and when she checked in her bag for the crumbled parchments, her heart fell heavy at the barren bottom of her knapsack. Her breathing went frantic and she eyed Professor Goldberg, then her knapsack, then the devil incarnate—again. She knew his cruelty would not overlook her forgetfulness.

When he came by her table to collect more papers, he halted. His beady eyes, obscured by the half-moon glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, narrowed in on clasped hands. There wasn’t a scroll covered in scrawl anywhere in sight.

Professor Goldberg sighed in annoyance. “You are a disappointment to me, Y/N,” he said coldly. “Detention with Gamekeeper Rhys tomorrow night, 8 o’clock sharp.” After collecting Newt’s paper, he moved past their table swiftly, not giving Y/N another glance.

Y/N’s eyes brimmed with tears, and though she very much wanted to leave the classroom and flee back to her dorm-room, she knew it would only worry Newt. With a small bit of tension still flickering at the edges of her mouth, she smiled and went back to doodling on her parchment.

Newt was staring at her out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t believe how heartless Professor Goldberg had been towards her, how rivetingly cruel. It was rather expected for him, especially with his evident disdain for Y/N, but it didn’t make it any less wrong for him to criticize Y/N at every turn. Even though Newt was a Hufflepuff through and through, he still had an urge to scowl and shout at the rigid potions master for being so bloody rude!

“Are you alright, Y/N?” he quietly asked Y/N, eyes concentrated on the side of her face.

Without a glance in his direction, her lips forced themselves into a cheeky grin. “Peachy!” she chirped. Anyone could see her demeanor wobbling. Newt needed to do something.

And fast. ———– Y/N was wondering the grounds when Newt suddenly appeared in front of her. He was breathless, cheeks puffed out in exhaustion, and the yellow scarf he usually wore tight around his throat was loose and hanging. When Y/N raised an eyebrow at him curiously, taking great interest in his disheveled appearance, he gave a grin.

“I have a surprise,” he said eagerly. “You want to see it?”

Y/N pursed her lips. She looked at him, and her face was saturated in anxiety. Her eyes blinked at him owlishly. “A surprise?” she echoed. A nervous smile slowly formed on her lips. “Not a bad one, I hope?”

Newt’s head went back and forth frantically. “No, no—it’s a good one, I promise! You’ll like it,” he said, voice lowering on the last few syllables.

Y/N’s eyes softened just the tiniest bit. “Okay,” she said. When Newt reached over and grabbed hold of her hand, a slight flush appeared on her cheeks. Oh.

“C’mon,” Newt said eagerly. “You’ll love it; I just know it.”

The pair walked all the way to the Quidditch pitch, in which several renovations were occurring. The only clear spot was the center, where a patch of sheer-green grass and a picnic basket awaited the two. There was a strange contraption hanging above, like a mix between a tapestry and canopy, and it was fluttering in the wind. A noise was heard, too—sounding like a Muggle projector, used for silent films, but also like a phonograph, clicking and zipping with the promise of recorded compositions. Newt beamed at the look of awe scattering across Y/N’s features and squeezed her hand for reassurance.

“This is beautiful,” Y/N whispered, turning to look at him. Tears were gleaming in her eyes. “You… you did this for me?”

It broke Newt’s heart to see the disbelief on her face, to hear the fear of rejection in her voice. He reached forward and cupped her cheeks, gently pulling her closer. Like a marionette, she stumbled towards him, eyes transfixed on his. “Professor Goldberg doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” he told her firmly. “You’re so beautiful and so… so smart. You shouldn’t listen to him, Y/N. You shouldn’t sell yourself short because of a few words from a prejudiced git. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Y/N’s bottom lip trembled and she quickly threw herself into his arms. For a moment, Newt remained in a position of shock, but the feeling of her shaking body in his arms had him returning the hug. He buried his head into her neck, pressing a small kiss to the inner crevice where her jugular rested.

“Thank you, Newt. Thank you so, so much,” Y/N said.

“Anything for you, love,” Newt whispered back. “Now, how about that picnic?”

Y/N sniffled, wiped at her nose, and pulled back from Newt’s embrace. She looked up into his eyes shyly, tucking in a piece of hair that was slowly unfurling from its fixed position. “Yes, please.”

Newt gently held Y/N’s hand and led her over to the middle of the Quidditch pitch. There weren’t any wizards nearby, so the renovating had to have been over for the day—and Y/N was pleasantly surprised by the atmosphere. There was a light winter breeze and some snow sprinkling around, but none of it was laying—and Y/N could feel a tint of red forming on the tip of her nose.

It was a beautiful scene. Very romantic.

Y/N fell into a crisscrossed position on the blanket, and she folded her hands into her lap. A giddy grin was splattered across her face.

Newt reached into the picnic basket sitting beside them and pulled out a small container wrapped in aluminum. At the curious glances Y/N was sparing the container, Newt unraveled the aluminum to reveal a still-steaming pumpkin pie, the crust golden with honey and butter and light cuts in the middle.

“I asked the house-elves to make it,” he explained to Y/N. “Perks of being a Hufflepuff, huh?”

Y/N shook her head at him, but a smile was playing on her lips.

The two ate in silence for a bit, listening to the repeated scratching of the apparent phonograph and enjoying one another’s presence. The pumpkin pie was absolutely delicious, and there was a second piece served to both of them just for the hell of it; Hogwarts had an abundant supply, and it wouldn’t hurt for a single one’s wasting if it truly didn’t go to waste.

Y/N stared at Newt, a few crumbs of pie decorating the skin around her mouth. “Thank you, Newt,” she said quietly. “Professor Goldberg… he really hurt my feelings.”

Newt swallowed his last bite of pumpkin pie and smiled at her. He reached forward and wiped away the crumbs with the base of his thumb. “No problem, love,” he said. “You don’t deserve to be put down by anyone, lest of all a professor.”

“You’re the best, Newt,” she continued. “I… I love you for it.”

Newt froze on serving himself the last slice of pumpkin pie. A look of utter shock replaced the blissful expression painted across his face. He stared at Y/N, wondering if he’d heard that right.

“L-Love me for it?” he repeated.

Y/N nodded her head frantically. “You’re just so amazing. You’re so selfless and kind and sweet and just—you’re so, so lovely. I love you. I love you so damn much that it hurts. You do all these things for me… things I’d never expect of anyone, let alone you—my best friend.”

Newt nearly had himself a heart attack when Y/N grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss. It was a simple peck, one without vigor but still bearing a lot of passion, but Y/N looked breathless and content the second she pulled away. Newt was staring at her, his eyes wide with alarm.

“Wow,” he finally managed. Y/N let out a giggle, and Newt slowly regained his composure. “I-I love you too, Y/N. I’d do anything for you—give you the entire world—just to see you smile. I really would.”

Y/N’s heart took another leap as they kissed yet again. And this time, there was a flurry of snow to sprinkle their hair and fill their kiss with the icy passion of a thousand moons.

[sleepywinchester]

Behind The Story S2 | Pt. 17

Summary: The reader and Jensen fly together back to LA,

Author: sleepywinchester {prev; deanwinchester-af}

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Gen and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader (Nina Dobrev = Faceclaim)

Words: 1.3k+

Warnings: Angst.

Beta: @waywardlullabies

Disclaimer: NO HATE TOWARDS DANNEEL!

Note: Hope you guys like this one!!!

Title: For Our Daughter’s Sake

MASTERLIST

Instead of having your mother fly to San Diego with JJ, Jensen traveled back to Los Angeles with you. Having JJ around wasn’t the smartest idea with all the media that was in San Diego.

It felt weird being next to him for the short flight. There was so much history between the two of you, yet neither could form a non-awkward sentence.

“Do you think we can make this co-parenting work?” Jensen broke the silence.

You looked at him, “I mean… We have to. For JJ.”

Jensen’s eyes lit up at the sound of her name. “Yeah,” he smiled slightly. “I miss her.”

“She really misses you,” you said. “She always says da-da all around.”

He smiled, glad his daughter haven’t forget about him. You guys didn’t talked much the rest of the flight. Once in LA, you two drove straight back to your place.

“Hey sweetheart,” Jensen greeted your daughter with a bright smile.

She smiled and giggled, extending her small hands to the air towards him. “Da-da,” she said.

Jensen lifted her up, kissing her rosy cheeks and hugging her. You took the moment in for another second before walking out of JJ’s room and into the living room. You met with Shay, who was checking up your agenda. She looked up to you with worriness in her eyes.

“I’m okay,” you gave her a weak smile, taking a seat next to her.

Only a few people knew the real reason behind yours and Jensen’s separation, Shay being one of them. She was hesitant when you asked her to go home and take care of JJ until you got there. You didn’t want to your mother to face Jensen. It was a drama that you weren’t ready to face.

“He just wanted to spend time with her… I-I couldn’t say no.” You sighed.

Shay nodded once and turned to her computer. “Do you want to go get lunch?”

You looked at her, “Yeah. Kill some time while he’s with her.”

“My point,” she smiled.

You walked upstairs to see Jensen sitting in the floor playing with JJ. You couldn’t help but smile at the scene happening in front of your eyes. He looked up and smiled as well.

“Um,” you put a lock of hair behind your ear, “I’m going to grab lunch with Shay…”

“Oh,” Jensen held onto JJ, “do you want me to leave?”

“No,” you quickly said. “You can stay here while I go out…”

Jensen cracked a smile, “Okay. See you later.”

“There’s some of her food in the fridge if she gets hungry and all her supplies are in that closet,” You pointed at the set of doors next to him. “Call me if you need anything.”

He nodded once before turning his attention back to JJ.

You and Shay decided to have lunch in a nice restaurant in Downtown, Los Angeles. When you hired her, it was because of her good skills and personality. But you never thought that you’d also find a great friend.

“Welcome,” the waitress greeted.

You smiled to her, “Hi.”

Without wasting anytime you and Shay ordered and were waiting on the food.

“So…” Shay put her glass of water on top of the table, “Are you accepting the role on Arrow?”

“I already did,” you flashed a grin, “it’ll probably going to kill me but it’s only like two episodes.”

Shay instantly smiled, “I’m so excited! You’re going to be cat-woman!”

“Shhh,” you glanced around, “it’s a surprise.”

She huffed a laugh, “Alright. I’ll calm myself.”

The food finally came and you both began to eat. It was in that moment that the table behind you was occupied by two new customers. They were talking and laughing at something one of them said.

“I’m telling you,” the woman said, “it was like low hanging fruit.”

Her friend giggled, “I can’t believe you did that... went into his bedroom, made him drunker and pretended he slept with you? Kudos to you, bitch.”

Your eyes shot to Shay, who was listening to their conversation.

The woman laughed with a disgusting pride regarding her action. “I’m telling you,” she paused, “I’m just waiting on filming to start, to start on phase two of my plan.”

“Which is…?” The friend asked.

“Get myself pregnant by someone else and say it’s his.” She said proudly.

“That’s very low, Claudia.”

When you heard that name came out of the other woman your blood pressure increased. You wanted to stand up and confront her but something inside you knew it wasn’t the right time.

“I don’t care,” Claudia spat, “they already called off the wedding. Jensen Ackles is going to be mine,” she said, “I guarantee you that.”

“That’s it,” you growled and stood up. Shay quickly followed your lead.

You turned and stood in front of Claudia’s table, glaring straight into her face. If you could take a picture of her face in this moment, you’d do it. She looked back at you with wide eyes. Claudia wasn’t apologetic but she was surprised of your presence. You scoffed feeling stupid for ever thinking Jensen cheated.

“Of course it was all a fucking lie,” you growled at her.

Claudia took a deep breath, “It wasn’t-.”

“Shut the hell up!” You shouted, pointing at her. “I can’t believe you planned everything!” Your voice was getting louder and with it having everyone’s attention. “I can’t believe you making believe that!” She was about to speak when you grabbed her red wine and threw it over her white dress. The splash covering half of her face and chest.

“Bitch!” She stood up.

You felt the flashing cameras around you but there was no care in the world.

“You’re the only heartless bitch in this place,” Shay shouted behind you. “Let’s go, Y/N.”

“I can’t believe this,” you said glaring at the road while Shay drove back to your apartment. “She made everything up,” you scoffed with unbelief, “she-,” a tear fell down your face and looked back to Shay, “Jensen didn’t cheat.”

Shay nodded holding onto the steering wheel. “This is crazy.”

You shook your head, feeling utterly stupid. “How am I supposed to look at Jensen? I broke up the relationship, I called off the wedding!” You said. “Things are never going back to the way they were… It’s-,” you covered your face with both hands.

“Hey,” Shay said and you looked up. “You guys love each other, yes it will take time but you can make it work.” You shook your head. “Yes you can, Y/N, but first you have to sit down with him and tell him the truth.”

You took a deep breath when Shay pulled over by your complex parking lot. You looked for the right words to say as you walked towards the elevator.  Your eyes met with Shay who is equally nervous as you are in this moment.

“You ready?” Shay said.

Taking another deep breath in, you nodded and walked out of the elevator.

“Home so soon?” Jensen stood up from the living room floor. He’s holding JJ on his arms, softly swinging her around.

“Yeah,” you said, “I-,” you swallowed, “We have to talk, Jay.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your words and sudden serious tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Um,” you turned to Shay, “can you hold JJ for a minute?”

“Sure,” Shay quickly said and took JJ from Jensen’s arms.

He clenched his jaw, “You’re scaring me, Y/N. What’s wrong?”

“I ran into Claudia,” you said sitting down at the diner table.

Jensen’s expression quickly changed into a more serious and angered one.

“What did that bitch say to you?” He growled.

“She said the truth,” you said. “She was bragging with her friend about how she tricked you into thinking you two had sex…”

In that moment Jensen’s eyes widened, filling with relief and hope. “What?” He mumbled.

You nodded, cracking a small smile. “She confessed… You-,” a tear ran down your cheek, “you never cheated.”

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[artificialqueens]

See You in April Ch. 3 - NQOTB (Trixya)

A/N - Hey guys, hope you enjoyed Chapter 2. The Queen of indecisiveness has struck again, and we’ve gone straight in for the kill with “The Talk.” Last Chapter I think I was attacked by a glitch in the matrix and some parts of the last couple paragraphs got cut off so I’ve put them at the beginning here to make up for it :)

Buckle up and experience 4K of pure, unadulterated angst. 

*generic female voiceover artist* “last week on See You in April…” 

He noticed Trixie shifting uncomfortably on his feet and realised his internal monologue of all the things he wished he could say had probably gone on for too long and that the frustration on his face was becoming clear. He couldn’t think straight. He had to end this conversation now before it became an external monologue and he said something to hurt his favourite person in the world.

“Well you know, I’ve never really had a favourite movie… just a top 10 that I watch in rotation.” Katya could feel himself distancing as he always did. Don’t do it. Show him that he’s all you want. “I don’t really believe that anyone ever has just one perfect… movie… for them.” Yes you do. “I think that there are lots of movies that can make you feel the same way that your favourite movie makes you feel.” You can still feel him touching you, you liar. “I don’t think you should get too attached to a film, to be honest.” You love him. You’ve loved him every day for the past three years. “I think maybe you should ask, uh, Dan? Yeah, Dan. You should ask him what kind of movies he likes on your date next week.”

He wanted to punch himself in the face the second he finished speaking. But he had done the job - Trixie was nodding his head and pushing an empty plastic cup that had fallen on the floor last night with his foot. He carried on glancing down at his feet when he spoke, the defeated tone in his voice clear as day.

“I see. Yeah, I think you’re right. Like you said… I need to get out there a bit more. See some more movies.”

Now or never, Barbra. Looks like you’ve chosen never.

*

Six months later

Trixie cautiously put one foot into the apartment as if he were dipping a cautious toe into a cold pool. He had been here so many times, but his mind hadn’t been there quite yet - he was always looking forward, thinking of the next gig, the next filming day, the next date he had with his boyfriend. Boyfriends. Katya stood in the hallway for a second and shuffled on his feet. Trixie could tell he didn’t really know what to say to him for the first time in his life.

“I'm… gonna get in the shower quickly. If that’s okay. I’m super sweaty from the journey and I need to wake myself up a bit. You can make yourself coffee if you want? Uh - pay no attention to the broken mug. That was a thing. I’ll sort it out in a bit.” The blonde man darted left into his bedroom and shut the door behind him, leaving Trixie standing there in solitude without having said a word in response. “Uh, yeah, sure. See you in a minute” he called out and made his way into the lounge.

He had never paid enough attention to the minute details of his friends apartment. Did he always have this record player? What records did he even play? He was pretty sure they didn’t put German industrial house onto vinyl but if anyone could find a copy, it would be Katya. He gazed around now to the nooks and crannies that he had never thought to dissect; the stack of videotapes containing grainy footage of all the Russian Olympic gymnasts of the 80’s and 90’s in the corner, a collection of crystals soaking up the ever-cascading sunset on the window ledge, the cowb– the cowboy hat. Trixie had worn it the day she was eliminated (for the second time) from the show that had crashed their lives together. And now it was here, on the wall, right above his head and the couch. A faltering beam of sunlight was coming through the window, and Trixie could see a couple of hairs in the light that were stuck in the weave of the hat that had come from the dark wig she wore that day. He reached out to touch it, but it was just out of his arms reach. Seems fitting.

He walked into the kitchen and padded over to the coffee machine. I pay $300 for this and that fool hasn’t even learnt how to put the beans in properly?” He should have known better than to buy the older man something like this to impress him, such a fuss. He was far too free-spirited to be in awe of a coffee machine. Trixie watched the coffee drip down into the jug laboriously and eagerly poured himself a mug as soon as it was done. The hot liquid coated his empty stomach like a fur coat in winter, and he could feel the caffeine take a hold instantly. God, when did he last eat? Or sleep for longer than half an hour? He couldn’t even tell you what day it was. The past 6 weeks had just felt like… a permanent Monday.

He heard the bedroom door click open and Brian walked in, vigorously drying his hair with a towel.

“Penny for your thoughts, mama? Wanna tell me what you’re thinking?”

Trixie stared up at the man in front of him. He tried to look for any physical signs of what might have happened to him over the past 6 weeks, but all he could see was his silly little soulmate standing there with a silly little grin on his face. It was always a surprise seeing him in his most natural state, stripped of all the paint and cloth that turned him into the Russian woman he met three years ago. He still found it incredible how the man could transform - not just physically, but characteristically, and still remain the same fantastic human being with those piercing blue eyes that sucked him in every damn time. He stared into them until they started staring back with an inquisitive squint and he remembered that he had been asked a question. He shook his head, partly in answer and partly to snap himself out of it. He had to try and stay focused.

“If I did, we would be here forever.”

“I’ve got time.”

The younger Brian bit his bottom lip, pondering where to start. He had envisioned seeing his friend again so many times, laid awake imagining where he might be and what he might be doing, but he hadn’t exactly thought through what he was going to say when he saw him. Being the rational and chill woman he was, Trixie had spent pretty much every night panicking that Katya was somewhere in the world doing something, or someone, he shouldn’t be. Getting himself in trouble. Doing things he had been strong enough to not do for a long time. He had tried calling his phone every day, and every day he would hear the same voicemail of Katya saying some shit in Russian and then laughing down the end of the receiver, followed by the inevitable beep to leave a message. He hadn’t expected the phone to actually ring today, so when it did he panicked and made his way to his apartment as quick as he could. He saw his friend get out of Amy’s car and make his way inside from the bar across the road, and decided to wait a while until he followed him in. He got to the door, froze, and sat down to collect his thoughts and calm the fuck down. That’s when Katya had opened the door.

“Where were you going?” He finally asked the blonde.

“You mean where have I been, or…?”

“No, I mean just now. When you opened the front door, you looked like you were in a rush to get somewhere.”

“I was, but it just so happens that it doesn’t matter now.”

Trixie’s mouth twitched into a slight smirk as he hoped that meant he had been on his way to see him. Then he remembered he was the one that was supposed to say something next and his tongue suddenly forgot how to work. Katya looked at him intently, reading his face.

“So. One hundred and sixty five texts, huh? Were you trying to get an advertising deal with AT&T?”

“You think I’m some kind of animal? Verizon, bitch.” Katya’s wheezing laugh broke the tension and Trixie found himself smiling properly for the first time in weeks. He could always count on his best friend to laugh at him as well as with him. “Listen, I… uh…”

“…You wanna know where I’ve been and why I’ve been there?”

Trixie was taken aback by how willing Katya seemed to be to have this conversation.

“I mean… yeah. But what I was actually gonna say is I know that it’s not my business. And I know I shouldn’t have been so caught up about it. I was just so scared that you weren’t okay that I went a little bit, uh… well, bat shit crazy would be a good phrase.”

Trixie could feel his cheeks warming up as he remembered some of the things he had done over the past six weeks. He’d never listened to more Johnny Cash in his life, he’d been performing to Lana Del Rey songs, he was drinking almost every day. He told everyone it was because Dan had broken up with him but only he knew that he hadn’t really cared about that at all. He knew what Dan was going to do the minute he walked into his apartment that day, and he just sat there staring at the blank television screen and playing with a hangnail. He barely even listened to what he was saying to him, the reasons he was giving. Because he knew why, they both did. He let him finish, picked up the bag his now ex-boyfriend had already packed with the stuff Trixie had left at his apartment and left without so much as even looking back. He had never felt so… relieved. Relieved that he didn’t have to carry on pretending. That he didn’t have to be the one to break it off and look like the heartless dickhead. That he didn’t have to keep closing his eyes to imagine blue ones staring back at him and blonde locks of hair twisted into his fingers in the dark heat of the night.

A cough from the blonde jolted Trixie back into his stream of consciousness. Brian was nodding in slow motion to himself, the cogs of his brain visible in their desperate efforts to think of what to say next.

“I wouldn’t say that is entirely true. I do think it is partly your business where I go, especially if I just fuck off like that. So I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But you know me, mama, I’m a creature of impulse.” Brian flipped a lighter over and over in his hand as he spoke. He shuffled on his feet restlessly before he jumped up on the side, and Trixie knew he was trying to control the anxiety that was starting to brew, as it always did when a conversation between the two turned serious. “Where do you think I went?”

“I thought you might have gone home at some point. I did a gig in Boston three weeks ago and I went to your mom’s house to see if you were there.”

“Oh yeah, Amy told me about your little visit.” Trixie looked up to find Katya smirking at her. He’s enjoying this, isn’t he?

“Oh man. Can you tell her I’m sorry? I really shouldn’t have pestered her like that, with all the emails and the texts and the -”

“- drunken phone calls?”

Fuck. “I forgot about that. For god’s sake, I’m a mess. I… I called you too, didn’t I?” Foggy recollections were now making their way back into Trixie’s mind. A bar in Tennessee, a whole bottle of bourbon, a random dirty blonde guy with blue-ish eyes taking him into a bathroom stall and then Trixie leaving as soon as he realised he couldn’t fill that void. A phone call. Shouting. Wait, he shouted at the guy on the street, right? Or was he shouting down the phone? He cried, he definitely knew that. But was it because the call never went through, or… it was hurting his head just trying to remember.

“Yeah, yeah you called me. You left a voicemail, that was interrupted by a halftime show of you fighting some random dude.”

“The guy! Yes, I remember that. What did I say? Oh god, I don’t even wanna know. If I was a cunt please don’t pay any attention, I was so wasted I would have said anything. I promise I didn’t mean anything I said.”

Katya’s smirk looked like it had been slapped off of his face in half a second.

“Was I that bad?”

Katya snapped back into the conversation and quickly plastered a smile back onto his face. “Uh… yeah, yeah you were a total asshole. It’s okay though. Too good to be true.”

“What does that mean?”

“I… nothing. I thought maybe it was a call from a drunken mind speaking a sober heart, that’s all. But it’s okay, honestly.” Katya poured himself a coffee and chugged it, the nerves showing in his shaky hands. “So, uh, how’s things with Dan?”

“He’s gone, it’s whatever. What did I say on that voicemail?”

Trixie saw Katya’s jaw muscles clench shut, and he knew that his walls were about to come rushing back up. Let me in. Please. He exhaled quickly and shot Trixie an annoyed glance.

“It doesn’t matter what you said, you just told me you didn’t mean it. And what do you mean he’s gone and it’s whatever? Is that what you came over here to talk to me about, that you’ve broken up with him like I’m supposed to be happy about that? It’s whatever? Six weeks ago you were thanking me for covering your fucking tracks so that he wouldn’t find out that you only went out with him because I told you to.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I stupidly encouraged you to go on a date with him and now look at where we are. Six months later and still both just as miserable as we were before. I tried to not see you as much, I tried to keep it on a professional level. I even invited the both of you out for dinner. You argued, he left, I came home with you. Held you in my arms and kissed you to sleep. Looked like a fucking fool the next morning when he turned up with a bunch of flowers and an apology and you were shoving me out of your bed and into the shower before you opened the door to him. I went to the other side of the fucking world to sort my head out, did yoga all day every day to block out what your collarbone felt like on my lips and instead it made me focus in on everything even more. I tuned into my inner core and it turns out you’ve managed to bury your way in there. God damn it.”

Katya jumped off of the kitchen counter he had been perched on and walked into the living room, pacing up and down. He grabbed his Rose Quartz and stroked the smooth side with his thumb. Trixie got up and slowly followed him into the living room, sitting on the couch. He was trying to read the other man’s face for a sign of what to say in response, but he was looking down at the floor and muttering to himself as he paced. Looks like you were wrong on this one, girl. A yoga retreat… other side of the world… because of you.

“So that’s why you left? Because of that night and the text I sent you after?”

“Yeah, it was because of that night. And every night before it. And every day. I can’t do this anymore, Bri.”

Trixie swallowed down a lump that had formed in his throat.

“What, you don’t wanna be friends? You don’t wanna be in my life anymore?”

Katya stopped pacing, and faced the younger man sat down in front of him. He sat down on his knees and stared Trixie straight in the eyes. “I want to be in your life, every single day of it. But I don’t want to blur the lines that you wanted to set and then spend those days watching you with someone else and then feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack every time you break up with someone. I told you to get out there for a bit but I didn’t mean get out there and go away from me. I knew the second I finished talking that day that you would go on that date and fall in love with him. I knew you didn’t want me, it was just because you were lonely and drunk and confused, that’s why I didn’t let things go too far that night. Because I knew you would regret it. But I didn’t know that telling you to go on that date would make you push so far away from me as a friend too.”

“Are you kidding? You pushed away from me!” Trixie knew that came out a lot louder than he meant it to, but the hurt that had built up over the last six weeks was slowly making its way out. The desperation he had felt, the need to see Katya and make sure he was safe had now been satisfied, so he had room for his anger to come bursting through. “You are the one that pushed away from me after that night in Palm Springs. Gave me all that bullshit about not wanting to commit to one person. Told me to go on the date with Dan. You are the one that spent two months after that trip spending time with everyone else except me. I had to see picture after picture of you with Violet, and I would spend all night thinking about you and your rotation of guys that you can fuck without all this bullshit and drama. You are the one that wouldn’t be in a room alone with me for weeks. Okay fine, I agree, I shouldn’t have invited you back to mine after the argument with Dan. And I shouldn’t have asked you to lie to him. But for the record, he split up with me. I didn’t make that call, he did. He said he couldn’t be with me any more. What the fuck did you expect from me anyway, Kat? You made it clear - you don’t want this. Not in the same way I thought I did, anyway.”

“The same way you thought you did? So you don’t feel that way any more?” Katya’s eyes were now burning holes into Trixie’s with their intensity. Something had changed in the way Katya was looking at him, and a knot formed in his stomach as a lie formed on his tongue.

“No. I don’t.”

“But you’re not with Dan any more?”

“No. I’m not.” Stop staring at me.

“And he broke up with you?”

“Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

“Why did he break up with you?”

Because I have fallen in love with you and I wasn’t even trying to hide it from him after you left. “Same as always, touring got in the way.”

“And you don’t have feelings for me.”

“That’s right. You said it. I was drunk and lonely. And you were just there.” You were there too, Trix. You felt it. You both did.

“And you told our friends that what happened at Palm Springs was just a bit of temporary fun.”

“That’s what it was, wasn’t it?”

“But you didn’t like seeing pictures of me with Violet because you thought we were having sex?”

“N-no, it wasn’t because of tha-”

“-but you don’t have feelings for me? All your outbursts and love songs and texts since I’ve been gone were normal because you don’t have feelings for me? And you said ‘I love you’ down the phone because you don’t have feelings for me?”

Fuuuuuuuck.

“You can say I love you to your friends. I say it all the time.” Trixie’s heart had fallen into his ass. He was surprised he could even form a sentence, his heart was pounding so loudly it was drowning out all thought. Three years of will they won’t they and your big Ross and Rachel moment is one you were too wasted to remember?!

Katya stared at him for a few seconds more, and quietly got up to walk over to the window ledge. He picked up his phone and without saying a word, pressed play on his voicemail. They listened in silence as Trixie’s memories came screaming back to him. Katya kept his back to Trixie as he spoke.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but to me that sounds like someone who sounds very confused, conflicted and unsure of their feelings. But it definitely does not sound like someone who doesn’t have any feelings for me at all.”

Trixie’s head sunk into his hands as his brain scrambled for the right words to say. All he could think of was the truth.

“I don’t know what this feeling is, but I do know that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Katya turned around. “I thought I had lost you forever and then I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t breathe for six weeks. I’m barely breathing now. But I don’t know what that means.”

Katya exhaled for the both of them, and sat back down on the floor, his back up against the wall. “What do you want, Trix?”

“I want to go home and sleep for a whole night for the first time in almost two months now I know you’re safe and not laying in a ditch somewhere.”

“You’re the one that’s gonna be found dead under a mattress, you pig.” Katya smiled weakly at the younger man. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I really am. If it had been the other way round…”

“I know. I wasn’t done - I want to go home and sleep, and then I want you to come to my gig tomorrow. Last night of Ages 3 and Up, loads of bitches are gonna be there. It will be fun.” Katya opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself and clamped his teeth shut again. “Just think about it. No pressure, just a friend showing his face to support another friend.”

Trixie got up from the couch and walked over to Katya, sticking out a hand to help him up from the floor. As he helped him up, Katya lost his balance and grabbed onto Trixie’s hip to stop himself from falling. He steadied himself but his hand lingered, and he stared up into Trixie’s eyes intently. Trixie kept the gaze, trying desperately to ignore his knees weakening as he lost himself in two tiny oceans before him. He reached down with the back of his hand and lightly stroked Katya’s cheekbone. The smaller man shivered underneath his touch.

“You should have let me choose now.” His hand dropped back down to his side as he turned around and walked out of the apartment, racing to the front door before Katya saw the salted tracks starting to run down his face.

*

Trixie shut the front door of his apartment and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Katya. The exhaustion of the past few weeks had finally hit him and he could barely think straight. He needed to sleep. Katya. He dragged himself into the shower and allowed the warm water to soothe his aching muscles, finally relaxing for the first time in weeks now he knew his friend was safe. Katya. He turned off the faucet and shivered at the cool air of his bedroom hitting his damp skin. His body remembered just how exhausted he was and he collapsed onto his bed, pulling the covers over him. Katya?

04/04/2017

20:09pm Katya: I’ll be there.

Trixie kissed the screen of his phone and, for the first time in a long time, allowed sleep to take him into aquamarine dreams.