#bro im 😭❤️ at all the nice asks
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sunrizef1 · 10 months ago
Text
All the boys PT2
Pairing: Jude Bellingham x reader, Logan sargeant x sister!reader, f1 grid x reader
Summary: who is reader soft launching???
A/N: yay part 2
Fc: Hannah Harell
Pt 1
___________________
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant carlossainz trentarnold66 and 7,303,667 others
yourusername ❤️💋🌹
user1 WHO IS HEEEEE
user2 y/n please 😭
user3 oh look, it’s litteraly Carlos
↳ user4 it’s actually Oscar
↳ user5 that’s Daniel idc
judebellingham 🤨
user6 i don’t even care who it is, they’re so cute
↳ user7 ikr im so happy for her
trentarnold66 😜
↳ yourusername bro why r u here
↳ trentarnold66 girl shut up
↳ yourusername gtfo
user8 ^^^ what is happening with Trent 😭
user9 JUST TELL US WHO HE IS ITS BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS
user10 she’s so fine
Yourusername
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liked by logansargeant masonmount and 5,445,708 others
yourusername happy bday big bro! Please don’t lose ur job, I only talk to you for paddock passes. In all seriousness, I love you and thanks for being the best big brother a girl could ask for ❤️❤️❤️ (surprised you’ve kept it a secret this long).
tagged logansargeant
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user11 WHAT
user12 BROTHER??????
user13 they’ve been related the whole time? 😭
user14 happy bday Logan
judebellingham happy birthday Captain America
↳ logansargeant thanks mate
liked by yourusername
user15 Jude lmao
oscarpiastri thank god you’ve said it, one less secret for me to carry
↳ yourusername so dramatic
↳ oscarpiastri you try keeping a secret for 15 years. You’d be dramatic too.
↳ yourusername 🙄
user16 siblings????
TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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liked by judebellingham carlossainz and 6,788,010 others
yourusername already drunk but f it we ball
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user17 just the most American caption you’ve ever seen
user18 still shocked from this morning
user19 is she there with her boyfriend???
trentarnold66 ur man is looking 4 u
↳ yourusername y u talking 2 my man
↳ trentarnold66 girl idk im just as drunk as u
↳ trentarnold66 being fr come get him tho
↳ yourusername omw pookie
user20 wait is Trent with them too?
↳ user21 he’s friends with max so probably, yeah
user22 I need pics from the rest of this party asap
oscarpiastri piccreds: me, tf? I didn’t suffer through you making out with your bf in the backseat for this.
↳ yourusername guys, Oscar took the pictures. Everybody clap 4 Oscar.
↳ oscarpiastri I’ll excuse the sarcasm on you being drunk
↳ yourusername boo 🍅🍅🍅
user23 oh she’s so drunk
user24 so her boyfriends there
yourusername added to their story
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↳ trentarnold66
DELETE DELETE DELETE
↳ masonmount
LMFAO
↳ oscarpiastri
Hey girl, this isn’t ur close friends
TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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liked by trentarnold66 judebellingham and 11,001,432 others
yourusername i may have been drunk but I wasn’t wrong (ily Jude, happy 4 years)
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user24 FOUR YEARS!?!?!?!
user25 the caption lmao
user26 she for sure wasn’t wrong
judebellingham ily2 ig 😒 (happy 4 years❤️)
user27 I’m in love with both of them tbh
user28 I’ve thought she was soft-launching Oscar this whole time dhmu 😭
↳ oscarpiastri no I’ve unfortunately had to witness their gross relationship for years now
↳ yourusername you should learn to be nicer
↳ oscarpiastri don’t make out with him in front of me whenever we’re in the same car anymore and then I’ll be nice to you.
↳ yourusername 😒
user29 what????!!!! 😭
logansargeant woohoo
↳ yourusername 🤨 enthusiasm please.
↳ logansargeant woohoo!
↳ yourusername thx ig
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1K notes · View notes
maplesyrupsainz · 1 year ago
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙ur my northern star | CL16˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: charles leclerc x singer y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship, relationship on the rocks
warnings: fluff!! mention of violence aka punching 👊 thts all. this is part 2 of coz i cant sleep in hotel rooms <3
summary: in which they do all they can to try to mend the broken parts in their relationship
a/n: did anyone even ask for a part 2 be real but i couldn't leave it like i did so i hope u like it regardless 😭 sorry to lando norris for making him my enemy but also am i sorry
song
fc: holly humberstone
my masterlist
part 1!!!
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instagram ->
f1updates
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liked by ynupdates, user1, and 2,046 others
f1updates charles leclerc spotted out recently with friends following crash in the monaco grand prix and his alleged breakup with y/n y/l/n.
tagged: charles_leclerc
view all 739 comments
user1 i miss y/n
user2 why are we in charlesy/n limbo rn
user3 fr i jus need to know what's going on
user4 he's better without her imo
charles_leclerc posted a story
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liked by pierregasly, lilymhe, and 21,046 others
lilymhe sending u all my love
charles_leclerc thank you lily
lilymhe have you spoken to y/n?
charles_leclerc i will see her when im back in monaco, i believe she is waiting for me before returning to the uk
lilymhe ❤️❤️
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, arthur_leclerc, and 47,024 others
yourusername so dont drive away .. u dont know how much i need u
view all 2,839 comments
landonorris meow
yourusername strange boy
landonorris :)
user5 he is never beating the norizz accusations
user6 i miss u y/n
yourusername miss you all, working on some stuff :)
user7 😭 i jus know that any new y/n music is going to break my heart
arthur_leclerc maman asked are you coming to dinner tonight
yourusername well of course
user8 OH???
user9 charles probably isnt there isnt he in paris this weekend with pierre??
user10 THE CAPTION??!
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, landonorris, and 428,020 others
charles_leclerc 🇫🇷🥖🥐☕️❤️
view all 5,934 comments
user11 so nice to see charles doing well 🥹
pierregasly eiffel for u
charles_leclerc nice one
user12 we miss you charles ❤️
user13 i need him & y/n back together 😭
user14 leave him alone on his own post fr
user13 doubt he's reading all the comments 👍
f1wagupdates
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liked by landonorris, user11, and 1,034 others
f1wagupdates lando norris and y/n y/l/n seen out together in monaco today following y/n's breakup rumours from charles leclerc.
tagged: landonorris, yourusername
view all 658 comments
user14 grid bunnyy
user15 can a girl not have friends now
user16 scummy after leaving the paddock after charles' crash
pierregasly no way lol
user17 pierre??
user18 pierre's comment lolll everyone knows lando has been thirsting for y/n since before her & charles got together
user19 embarrassing like she does not want you bro
landonorris
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 398,727 others
landonorris celebrating for celebrating's sake
tagged: yourusername
view all 4,020 comments
user18 urmm?
yourusername such a fun night out i rly needed some fun with friends <3!!
liked by charles_leclerc
pierregasly hahah delete this.
arthur_leclerc for real
landonorris ?
yourusername private texts exist
pierregasly sorry y/n/n
user19 omg
user20 are they all arguing or is it a joke hahah
post deleted by landonorris
twitter ->
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f1wagupdates
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 5,045 others
f1wagupdates charles leclerc and y/n y/l/n seen tonight in monaco sharing a tender embrace outside a restaurant following a meal together. sources say it seemed like an emotional conversation and are not sure of the outcome. we are sending all of our love to charles and y/n at this time!
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
view all 2,894 comments
user28 OH MY GOD MY PARENTS
user29 omg i feel so awful for them going thru whatever this is in the public eye😭
user30 my poor y/n/n
user31 she's been fine frolicking with lando lol
user32 i think if charles is ok with her then nothing happened lol.
user33 my favourite f1 couple of all time
user34 she's the best wag fr
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f1wagupdates
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liked by lilymhe, pierregasly, and 8,035 others
f1wagupdates sources claim they caught charles leclerc and y/n y/l/n out in monaco tonight kissing! alleged rumours due to images not being clear enough to prove identities but we have our fingers crossed for the couple
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
view all 2,594 comments
user42 omg i hope this is real
user43 my babies🥹🥹🥹
user44 my parents🥹🥹🥹
user45 hope this is fake lol im tired of her
user46 lol why?? she hasnt even done anything
user47 she cheated on charles
user48 SINCE WHEN???
user49 some of u need to keep y/n's name out ur mouth
yourusername
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liked by yourbff, pierregasly, and 44,034 others
yourusername my lifelines .. london is lonely so lonely without uuu
tagged: yourbff, lilymhe
view all 2,473 comments
user50 i thought she was in monaco
user51 i think she is it's jus a reference to one of her songs
yourbff i love you & i am so proud of u
yourusername thank u my sweet girl!
lilymhe u own my heart
yourusername and im never giving it back
user52 i love y/n & lily's friendship ❤️
user53 the best f1 wags of all time
user54 omg she's just a girl like us guys
user55 no fr she is so cottagecore cosy girl
twitter ->
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yourusername posted a story
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liked by yourbff, lilymhe, and 4,935 others
yourbff i love you
yourusername i love you more
lilymhe I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS
yourusername me too come over ASAP
lilymhe posted a story
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 8,304 others
yourbff posted a story
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 827 others
charles_leclerc posted a story
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 78,903 others
yourusername ❤️
landonorris can we talk soon?
charles_leclerc fuck off lando you've done enough
messages ->
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lilymhe
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 98,934 others
lilymhe beautiful night for a beautiful girl
tagged: yourbff, charles_leclerc, yourusername
view all 5,294 comments
user59 WTF CHARLES AND Y/N KISSING
charles_leclerc thanks lily
yourusername i giggled
lilymhe (re-)hard launching you guys cause u wont do it urselves
user60 omg my parents made it
user61 the way i love these ppl LOL
user62 my parasocial relationship with someone else's relationship is insane
alex_albon beautiful is one word for it
yourbff for the record i do not feel beautiful today
alex_albon you dont look it either
lilymhe take that back you evil boy
twitter ->
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 87,483 others
yourusername my new song "into your room" is out now & available on all streaming platforms! this is the second single from my upcoming debut album thank u so much for all of the support i couldn't do any of this without u all ! live show announcements next i think?;)
view all 6,825 comments
user67 OMG AN ALBUM
lilymhe SO proud of u cant wait till i can watch u live on ur own tour🥹
liked by yourusername
user68 so glad i discovered u y/n ur so talented
user69 LIVE SHOWS PLZ PLZ❤️
user70 i will follow u ur my northern star😭
user71 throwing stones at ur window to get u to notice me😭
charles_leclerc ❤️
liked by yourusername
user72 without u my soul is eternally doomed ur the centre of this universe my sorry ass revolves around you😭
user73 the way charlesy/n gave us the best songs
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 240,024 others
charles_leclerc the rumours are not true
view all 87,994 comments
yourusername i love you
charles_leclerc i love you and that's the only rumour that will ever be true
user74 MY PARENTS ARE BACK FOR GOOD
user75 never been so happy in my life
pierregasly thank god
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername
lilymhe i knew u guys would make it <3
landonorris happy for u both
*comment deleted by charles_leclerc*
THE END ❤️
892 notes · View notes
captain-pheonix · 2 months ago
Note
Hi this is a silly question but I really like your stuff and I think you're cool and really swag writer so I was wondering if you could do one with the TF2 mercs (and maybe miss Pauling, whatever you want) with a reader who boxes? Can be romantic or platonic, and the gender can be whatever you find easier to write. Ok, thank you ❤️😭
Mercs + Pauling (romantic and/or platonic) x gn!reader who likes boxes 📦 (HCs)
A/n: AHHHH TY ANON ILY 🫶 This isn’t weird at all, seriously, I am a certified creature and you have 100% come to the right person. I collect Apple product boxes and if I’m being honest if I lived by myself I’d just collect boxes regularly. Im making this gn!reader that can be read as platonic or romantic! Hope you enjoy!!
BIG EDIT: HOLY SHIT ANON IM SO SORRY I CANT READ YOU MEANT A READER THAT BOXES NOT A READER THAT LIKES BOXES IM GONNA CRY 😭😭😭😭 IM GONNA MAKE ANOTHER POST FOR A READER THAT BOXES IM SO SORRY
Warnings: none (boxes jumpscare, graphic depictions of cardboard)
Pauling
• Girlie is like “huh” but doesn’t really care because all the other mercs are equally if not more insane (and we all know the admin is, too)
• When she finds out, she finds it kinda funny, gives her a tiny break from being a workaholic 25/8
• “What do you find so fascinating about them?” Ms. Pauling says, genuinely curious. You explain that they’re just nice, they itch your brain the right way, and just like how a child sees one of those huge appliance boxes. “Oh, yeah, that makes sense, actually. Interesting. Never would have thought about that.”
• ✨the box hoard TM✨ is probably just in a corner or a closet somewhere
• She’ll probably ask if she can have any because they’d be really nice for sorting paper work
• Up to you, but maybe you give her a few you don’t like as much
Sniper
• bro is confuzzled
• thinks you’re crazy
• exits the room
• (no)
• like Pauling, he’s a bit confused, but after explaining how it’s like that feeling you get as a kid seeing a package arrive in a huge box, he understands it a bit more
• probably a little weirded out by your ✨box hoard✨ anyway
• calls you a cat 😞
• I feel like he’d be the kind who might get annoyed at the box board being around, thinking it takes up space and it needs to be tidied
• might get something to help you organize the boxes
Scout
• finds it absolutely positively hilarious cannot stop laughing
• “What? You like boxes?”
• Shoves you in boxes because it’s funny 😔
• after explaining the whole “it just sorta itches my brain like when a kid sees an empty box something was in” thing, he’s like “oh my gosh, that totally makes sense, actually!”
• 10/10 would just chill in one your boxes even if it’s a little small
• weird but wholesome headcannons that you two would fall asleep/cuddle in your boxes together
• honestly though after a while I feel like he’d join your box hobby
• he might ask for the boxes after someone gets a delivery or orders something just for you
• drawing on the boxes!!!
Medic
• Blud is like “ok cool”
• prob gives you boxes leftover from shipments of medical supplies like plastic bits (I wouldn’t take the ones from his shipments of animal organs 😬)
• those boxes might smell like the med lab 😔
• but I mean if you enjoy his scent or something then it’s probably a nice reminder
• when you talk about how a kid would react when a giant box shows up in the mail and how it never went away he gets it
Pyro
• you know for a fact bro is playing with them
• completely understands right off the bat you do not have to explain anything
Spy
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• boxtrot taunt
Demo
• too drunk to give a shite
• you may or may not find some bottles in the boxes
Engie
• May have some boxes kicking around to give you
• kinda doesn’t get it but when you explain he’s just like “ok then guess ur just quirky like that”
Soldier
• I’m gonna follow Electrro64rus and say this man is crazy about boxes
• very excited when he finds out you like collecting boxes
• don’t have to explain why you collect boxes, dude is just excited to also participate
Heavy
• utter confusion
• even when you explain it still utter confusion
86 notes · View notes
imaginesig · 3 months ago
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"I just don't understand / how you don't miss me / in the Black Dog"
Ralf Aron x singer!reader
SMAU
After 3 years, is your relationship as dreamy as it looks?
All songs mentioned are linked at the bottom. Originally I planned this to be a Zak O'Sullivan smau, but then I figured Ralf's age fit better (I also wanted to write for him anyway so its fine) but any ideas for Zak are appreciated
f2_updates
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liked by user6, user76, user9, and 823,939 others
f2_updates: beloved couple Y/n L/n and Ralf Aron were spotted in the paddock today to supports Paul Aron
tagged: no one
user1 they look so good!!
user2 Ralf might not race but they're gonna show up like he does
user3 best dressed couple
user4 my fav (unofficial) wag
user5 idk if it was planned but the monochrome black and whit fits ate
user6 right?? Like they weren't matching but it was coordinated nicely
user7 that made it cuter honestly
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aronralf posted a story!
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Caption: so proud of you @/paularon_! I'm so happy I got to see your podium in Monaco in person and celebrate with you
ynln
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like by zak.osullivan, paularon_, user4, and 829,293 others
ynln: little bro got a podium AND Zak won, officially the best trip to Monaco ever!! I'm so so proud Paul (and Zak, what an incredible race). I couldnt have asked for a better tour send off 🖤🤍
tagged: paularon_, zak.osullivan, aronralf
paularon_ thank you for coming!! It means the world
ynln I'd never miss if possible 🫶
zak.osullivan thank you!
ynln this was def one for the books!! But don't party to hard
aronralf stunning ❤️
ynln ❤️
user1 im choosing to take the heart colors as a sign that their outfits were pre-coordinated
user2 awww not her celebrating Zak too 😭
user3 she cheered so hard the entire time
user4 Y/n really became a grid mom for the prema (current and former) boys
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ynln posted a story!
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caption: (2) pre-show date at our spot @/aronralf
aronralf posted a story!
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caption: Ma armastan sind @/ynln ❤️❤️
replies
ynln
Ma armastan sind ka
thank you so much for coming!! It felt good to know you were watching ❤️
nothing is more beautiful than watching you do what you love
paularon_ posted a story
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caption: you're a killer @/ynln
replies
ynln
that picture is so cute!! Please send it to me
*1 image*
you were fantastic
thank you!! It means a lot you flew out to be here
you would and have done the same for me
zak.osullivan posted a story!
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caption: you're a star @/ynln!!!
dinobenganovic posted a story!
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caption: 💜🤍🩵 @/ynln
olliebearman posted a story!
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caption: @/lettiemng, I had a magical night with you! Thank you @/ynln
juanmanuel posted a story!
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caption: great music, great night @/ynln
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ynln
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liked by aronralf, user54, gracieabrams, and 983,832 others
ynln: London, thank you for being an amazing opening crowd!! It is always so special to know that this entire set was a surprise and get to experience your reactions live!! Next stop, Dublin 🫶🫶
tagged: no one
aronralf ❤️💜
ynln ❤️💜
sarbinacarpenter looks amazing! I cant wait to go
gracieabrams loving the purple!!
user1 how am I supposed to be normal knowing this concert was attended by her grid family
user2 omg the confetti!!!
user3 I cannot wait for my show
user4 ugh im so upset the US leg is so far away
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Time Skip-- a couple shows later
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Time skip- a few more shows
ynln
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liked by user43, user53, user1, and 928,392 others
ynln: Paris what a lovely crowd you were!! This last show has made me not want to break at all, but alas I must rest up before the US leg begins 🫶🫶
tagged: no one
user1 fingers crossed this break helps her relax and let the "Begin Again" incident be a one time thing
user2 yay!! I was missing Y/n and Ralf content
user3 my show is coming!!!
user4 get your rest, it is deserved 👏👏
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ynln
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liked by friend1, dinobeganovic, user5, and 983,939 others
ynln: same time next week??
tagged: friend1, friend2, friend3
user1 LYRICS?? Y/N DO YOU SLEEP??
user2 fr girlie is supposed to be on break and rest but here she is writing
friend1 same time every week??
ynln omg please
friend2 its been so great having you home!!
ynln ive missed it so much
friend3 you so owe me an uno rematch
ynln its on
user3 no Ralf?
user4 lets not assume anything, she went home and he's probably busy with racing responsibility, plus its only half way through her break im sure they'll be together soon
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f2_updates
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liked by user4, user8, user43, and 823,929 others
f2_updates: Paul Aron and a mystery women have stopped by to cheer Paul Aron on!!
tagged: no one
user6 oh he brought a friend
user7 they didnt look to romantic so thats my hope
user1 ok ik we collectivy agreed not to stress about the Y/n crying situation but between that and now her not being seen here is getting to me
user2 wdym Y/m missed a Paul race?? Y/n never misses a Paul race??
user3 great results today!!
user4 always a good day when the Aron brothers are in the paddock
user5 thats my championship leader!!
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ynln
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liked by friend3, user5, zak.osullivan, and 893,939 others
ynln: I have missed you guys so much I decided to gift a piece I wrote first half of my break to hold us all over until we get this show back on the road. It's a piece that I didn't expect to write but I did! "The Black Dog" will drop tonight at midnight
tagged: no one
zak.osullivan a masterpiece I know it
user1 the black dog?? like her and Ralfs special spot??
user2 she read the twitter rumors and said "let me put these to rest real quick"
user3 im so excited, no one loves a RalfY/n love song like me
user4 it'll make a great addition to my playlist
user4 I love the golden look
user5 its very summer
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ynln
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liked by dinobeganovic, user54, sabrinacarpenter, and 893,939 others
ynln: I have been overwhelmed and moved by the support for "The Black Dog." The healing process has been greatly aided by your love. I decided to give into the urge to release the songs written during this tour and break in an EP. Enjoy my new EP "Golden Days" out midnight!!!
tagged: no one
user1 I fear I won't be able to take more heartbreak
user2 beautiful visuals
user3 do we think its called Golden Days because she's looking back on those days
user4 omg and despite her getting to be home and see old friends its still not as light as it appears
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ynln
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liked by dinobenganovic, user43, zak.osullivan, and 829,093 others
ynln: thank you Saint Louis for a warm welcome back!! It's a new leg and a *slightly* new setlist. It was an honor to go on this emotional rollercoaster with you all and I cannot wait for Madison Square Garden 🫶🫶
tagged no one
user1 best night of my life
user2 when I tell you I screamed by head off when she added the new songs
user3 I dont know if ill survive my show
user4 what a intimate setting it was, her emotions were raw and she connected with the crowd in the high and low parts
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ynln posted a story!
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caption: I've spent these past few days in New York (and a pilgrimage to see Harry's banner) just thinking about how blessed I am to get to play a sold out show at MSG!! If you asked little me, I never would have imagine id be on a completely sold out tour much less MSG!! Its a dream come true, and tonight lets rock 🫶🫶
f2_updates
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liked by user1, user7, user3, and 928,929 others
f2_updates: F2 drivers have seen entering Madison Square Garden in New York alongside Ralf Aron with potential new girl. Rumors saying that plenty familar faces were going to spend a bit of their summer break to celebrate singer Y/n L/n's accomplishment now seem to be true
tagged: no one
user7 OMG GLASSES PAUL HAS BEEN SPOTTED
user1 stop this was so sweet until the very last slide
User8 fr Prema family Reunion ruined
user9 I would've been just fine with Zak, Dino, and Paul- ralf could've stayed home
user2 the way id burn his house down if I could
user3 awww the videos of Dino and Elvira dancing to the opener are adorable
user4 fr when will it be my turn
user5 the audacity to bring your new girl to your ex's show
user6 fingers crossed Y/n doesn't know (until after at least)
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ynln
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liked by dinobeganovic, aronralf, taylorswift, and 923,920 others
ynln: what a night! I dont know how ill move on from finally accomplishing a childhood dream, but after some celebration im sure ill manage. Thank you to everyone in the crowd tonight, you were electric 🍾🫶
tagged no one
friend1 the cowboy hat >>>
taylorswift my imagination didnt give that mashup justice!! You were amazing
dinobeganovic best way to spend summer break
zak.osullivan officially becoming a groupie
friend2 you are a star!!
sabrinacarpenter congrats babe!!!
comments have been limited
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Begin Again by Taylor Swift
The Black Dog by Taylor Swift
loml by Taylor Swift
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart by Taylor Swift
Come Back... Be Here by Taylor Swift
The Great War x You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift
The Black Dog x Come Back... Be Here by Taylor Swift
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melancholysway · 2 years ago
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Okay okay I know your ask is closed but this idea has been eating away at my for a week now
Alright so imagine the reader is a feline mutant, could be a house cat or a big cat mutant whatever you imagine, and they’re cuddling with their turtle and they start kneading, making bread, their paws into said turtle while they sleep. How would the boys react to that? Cause it just seems so cute, especially if the reader gets embarrassed by it.
preferably 2007 or Rise, cause I’ve also seen you mention your desire for 07 requests
I’ve read a bunch of your posts and I’m sure you can do my request wonderfully, now you make sure you take care of yourself and if this is too much for you right now I can wait ❤️💖
I JUST SAW THIS & I THINK THIS WAS THE BREAK I NEEDED BC HUH
Yes YES YES
If your request hasn’t been fulfilled yet, IM SORRY BRO IM TRYING FR FR😭I think I jumped at this bc it’s just a short shot & I literally have to mentally prepare myself to write a long shot
Also me using the same 4 gifs of the guys bc there’s barely any TMNT 2007 gifs 😫😫
TMNT 2007 Headcanons: Baking Biscuits (Cat Mutant!Reader)
Leonardo
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This turtle loves every second of it
Tries to catch you all the time kneading, he’s infatuated with how normal cat habits fall onto you
How turtles have things like chitters(?) & mating season, he likes to see you have cat qualities
You knead the ends of his mask a lot
Cats sleep a lot, so I think you’d fall in between sleeping for a full 8 hours all the time no matter what
And once you wake up, Leo’s gone(in the event you stay the night or share a bed,) but he always leaves an extra blue mask for you to knead while he’s training or meditating
Like how turtles enjoy their shell to be scratched, you’ll definitely both have a set time where you just love on each other like that, where you just cuddle and scratch while he rubs your back
That’s so cute omfg wait I might’ve just did sum
Raphael
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Won’t ever tell you, but he feels it while sleeping
So much so that he’ll have a dream of you kneading on or around him
We all know he’s a cat lover
Guys that love cats >>>
But anyway, he’s already fond over you and protective
Also I hc that he feeds the stray cats around the city & the best part is watching them make biscuits in an alley
So to see you do it is the cutest
Raph is a known heavy sleeper, so he doesn’t awaken that easily
HOWEVER (comma)
He would not mind it at all if he woke up to you trying to knead on his shell before he rolled over
Also if he does wake up, he’ll lay on his stomach for easy access to his shell for you
Also doesn’t tell you if he’s awake, he’ll wait a few just to hear you purr while baking those biscuits
Donatello
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Donnie doesn’t sleep
However (comma) he wouldn’t mind it if you kneaded next to him while he was working on something
My cat usually kneads right next to me and buries their head on some part of my body, so if you do so, Donnie seriously doesn’t mind
In fact, he loves it! Just feeling you next to him is all he needs
Actually, since Donnie doesn’t sleep, I feel like he would take a cat nap (no pun intended) via bread kneading
He thinks of it as a nice massage. Although kneading is usually on a blanket or something, Donnie’s shoulders are free real estate for kneading
Michelangelo
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He notices right away
He’s not a heavy sleeper idc RAPH is 😭NOT Mikey
He immediately does the lil head pat
Also likes to joke around about it
“Guys please stop ordering biscuits Y/n’s been baking for hours please they haven’t seen their family in weeks”
That line. All. The. Time.
Is definitely the most physical out of the four brothers
Meaning he’ll absentmindedly pet you or rub your back knowing you enjoy it as if you’re a non-mutant cat
If you get a little embarrassed (especially if done around his brothers or April/Casey,) Mikey would just switch and do it in private
But tbh he just wants to show off his cute s/o to everyone
Gifts you a (very fluffy) orange blanket of his exclusively for kneading and baking those nice loaves of bread
Since being a mutant feline, your nails will naturally be sharper than average, so he always (attempts to at least) stitch the blanket back up for you?
//
Taglist:
@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside
Masterlist
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mad-c1oud · 6 months ago
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MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:
The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD
I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle
In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️
on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS
when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH
The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS
“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.
How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner
How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)
Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.
GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI
The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(
God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//
The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)
Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//
That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.
“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE
When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice
Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)
“My cucumber” ….
When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)
sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT
💖i hope you fee better
DUDE 😭😭😭
This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…
Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude
To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…
The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—
And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3
YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao
i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….
One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3
Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to
Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha
Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333
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superpyodan · 3 months ago
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what was Kenny's first impression of Alex when they first met? :) and vice versa as well
please excuse how incoherent this will probably be, i’m on my phone 😔 but. OMG! what a fun question!!!
below the cut bc this is long
so, just in case you aren’t aware? Kenny & Alex meet on Kenny’s firstttt day in Pelican Town. Alex goes to Kenny’s house with Haley to drop off some gifts from Evelyn. blah blah blah, whatever
Kenny’s first impression of Alex was… Unimpressive? Unimportant? Sorry, I’m running on very little sleep and idk what the right word is rn 😭 He didn’t think anything specifically of who Alex was as an individual apart from the fact that he was cute, physically. But Kenny’s not really a love-at-first-sight kinda guy, PLUS like . the Gay Thing. So it was just “Ok, Alex is nice, and he has a nice face” and that’s kinda it. it was a very surface-level interaction, yk?
HOWEVER. I would argue that Kenny’s true “first impression” of Alex was actually the SIXTH!!! time they met — At Haley’s birthday party. before then, Kenny was like “ok he’s just a prettyboy jock, nothin’ too crazy”but it was at Haley’s party that kenny ended up in the realm of“hmmm. this guy is Interesting…”
Not in a “i’m in love with him” way, but in a “this guy obviously has some depth and i’m interested in finding out more”. Alex struck him as sweet, emotional - Perhaps a little anxious? Kenny loves to do a motherly “caring for other people” thing, so the fact that he kinda had the opportunity to do that for Alex dragged him in. But also, Abby was very obviously planting seeds of romantic attraction between them 😭 Kenny just couldn’t see it yet.
it’s not very often that Kenny initiates conversation or friendship on his own terms. usually people just adopt him (see: Abby). but when someone shows any hint of emotional baggage ???? he’s SOLD
Alex’s first impression of Kenny was something along the lines of, “oh no”
😭😭😭 LMFAO please, that sounds like a joke or an over exaggeration but. Alex, at that point, was very aware of the complications regarding his sexuality, and had been very actively pushing it all away for a loooong time. Alex’s first impression of Kenny was somewhat similar to Kenny’s of him, with the added extra of repressed gay panic, because Alex, unfortunately, very much IS a love-at-first-sight kinda guy, i fear��💀
Alex’s real “first impression” would have been the second time he met Kenny. Dude. Kenny gave him a bottle of water and from that moment onwards, Alex was like 🥺💧🥺❤️💧🥺🥺💧💧❤️🥺❤️💧💧🥺❤️🥺❤️💧🥺❤️ (MEGA REPRESSED MODE)
i don’t even know what i’m talking about anymore. this is so long and im so sleep deprived, bro 😭😭😭😭 if you need clarification about anything or have any more questions, please let me know!
thanks for the ask :3
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alharringtonfan · 10 months ago
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hey it’s the one anon from before, I finally made an acc on here just to give ur stuff love LOL. I spent an hour going through your google drive and it was so much fun. Thank you for sharing all of it ❤️ ur so funny bro (extra happy bc we share so much tmc opinions haha)
OMG IM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING SOONER I had to drop Cesark for a bit and get my ass to study a little 😭
Also thank you so SO much! You don't know just how happy I am to hear that! Making an acc just for me? Whaaa???? That's crazy! It's so nice to know you've liked my stuff, I made them specifically to share with people like you, and I'm so glad to know someone spent PRECIOUS TIME OF THEIR LIFE to go through it! I hope you stick along for the ride, hahah! Feel free to make requests, asks, or critiques of any kind!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷
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yanteetle · 2 years ago
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THE SIBLING KIDDNAPPING ART TO SO GOOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND BRO I LOVE IT SM
ALSO THE WAY U DREW THE STANCES AND EVERYTHING GIVES ME THE “I LOVE MY SONS SM” REACTION AGHAJDKFDN ITS RLLY GOOD IM TRYING TO SAY ITS RLLY GOOD
Okay I'll be VERY honest when I say that asks like these are the sole reason I'm still here drawing for people 😭❤️ thank you so much!! This really made my day better, and I'm very grateful my art was able to give you those reactions!! ❤️ I've been overwhelmed by hate recently, so my productivity is at all all time low, but little things like these warm my heart and I really appreciate you sending this in :) please have a nice day and take care, okay? ❤️
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theyluvkarolina · 5 months ago
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౨ৎ SOMETHIN’ STUPID ౨ৎ
masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!
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SUMMARY౨ৎ Being Max’s strategist is a experience you’d cherish forever. The constant laughter, friendly teasing, shared smiles after wins, is also something Max would never change. But in Max's case, he see’s nothing of this as simply friendly. But sometimes, words are best kept to oneself.
PAIRING ౨ৎ Max Verstappen x Strategist!Fem!Reader
WARNINGS ౨ৎ some photos of kelly get used but i blur out her face, rejection, ANGSTY 🥴🥴, a very slight song fic? (they are listening to it so not really a song fic)
A/N ౨ৎ So so sorry this took longer than expected! My schedule was not my bestie last week 😞 but i have a very special note for my pookie bear ash at the bottom 🫶🫶 (FOLLOW HER ON @maxtermind !! SHE HAS AMAZING WORKS)
1K EVENT MASTERLIST
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INSTAGRAM 2021
y/n_rbstrat ✔︎
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, danielricciardo, and others
y/n_rbstrat Max. Maxie. Max Emilian Verstappen ladies and gentlemen, your 2021 World Champion. I’m so lucky and proud to have been your strategist and I pray it’s this way for years to come. Seeing you grow along with me is something I’m forever grateful for. I love you so much, my best friend 🩷
tagged ; maxverstappen1, redbullracing
2,409 comments
username1 STOP THE MAX CELEBRATION POST :(
username2 what if i started crying rn
username3 “I love you so much, my best friend” hurt.
→ username4 NO BC WTF DO YOU MEAN FRIENDS??? Y/N HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE LOOKS AT YOU?? → username5 max is punching air.
maxverstappen1 ✔︎ couldn’t have done it without the best strategist ever ❤️
→ y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ and i couldn’t have done it with the best driver ever 😊 ❤️ → landonorris ✔︎ fucking hell just kiss already → username6 HELP LANDO → username7 bro had enough → landonorris ✔︎ trust me if you see these two all the time in person and refuse to acknowledge their feelings, you want it to be done with. → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ what are you talking about?? → landonorris ✔︎ you know. → username8 if they don’t get together i think i might throw myself off the highway → charles_lelerc ✔︎ “best strategist” huh?
username9 max and y/n hugging is my roman empire.
username10 we are all delusional for y/nstappen.
maxverstappen1 ✔︎
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liked by y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others
maxverstappen1 truly unbelievable. i want to thank red bull, my family, friends, y/n, and everyone else for their support. 2021 World Champion 🏆 🎉
tagged ; y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing
5,305 comments
username11 Y/N GETTING HER OWN MENTION HAS MY HEART 😭
username12 if they don’t date i might cry
username13 the hug 😭 ❤️
username14 i feel so single rn
charles_leclerc ✔︎ congratulations! i hope you remember our deal 😉
→ landonorris ✔︎ why wasn’t I informed about this deal??? → georgerussel63 ✔︎ we all know you can’t keep a secret lando → alexalbon ✔︎ says the one that follows gossip accounts and asks us if we know stuff in the gc. → georgerussel63 ✔︎ im not as bad as charles and pierre… those two do it in public WITHOUT SHAME 😒 → pierregasly ✔︎ DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS → username15 HELLO WHAT IS ALL OF THIS?? → username16 NO BECAUSE I NEED TO BE PART OF THIS F1 GROUP CHAT 😭
y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ stop it max i’m going to cry!! im so proud of you! i would never trade my favorite driver for anything in the world ❤️🥹
→ danielricciardo ✔︎ favorite driver??? what the hell am i?? 🙄 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ the side piece now that you left → danielricciardo ✔︎ uncalled for. → y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ be nice boys pls :( → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ yes ma’am → danielricciardo ✔︎ simp → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ i didn’t know being nice was me being a simp → danielricciardo ✔︎ mate, i saw you literally carrying all her things into the paddock?? you never did that for me → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ last time i checked she’s MY ENGINEER → danielricciardo ✔︎ ugh whatever you say… → username17 guys idk about you but i think max only likes y/n → username18 the way he doe everything for her and she doesn’t see this as love 😭 → username19 i mean she did say in a interview she wasn’t looking for any relationships because of how good her career is doing → username20 idk about anyone else.. but I feel like the day max confesses is the day their relationship comes crashing down. → username21 DON’T START SAYING THIS BS NOW.
TWITTER
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IMESSAGES
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TWITTER
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In Person
The heavy, thumping bass reverberates through the walls as you stand in the corner of the club. The club was never your thing. The floors constantly holding spilled drinks and other concoctions, the smell of BO and alcohol overwhelming your senses, the crowded atmosphere filled with sweating people… safe to say if it weren’t for Max dragging you out to be with the team celebrating you would be wrapped in blankets watching some sort of trashy reality TV show.
Max finally made his way over to you, a wide grin plastered on his face, clearly in his element here. He took in the sight of you. Every curve of your body, yevery way your hair falls, the way your eyes twinkle slightly when you notice him, the look of your red lips. He can never get tired of it.
"Hey, glad you made it out," he shouted over the music, the classic rasp in his voice showing as he clapped you on the back trying to hope you haven’t noticed his staring.
You managed a weak smile, feeling out of place amidst the pulsating energy of the club. "Of course," you replied, slightly raising your voice to be heard, “ you think I’d miss celebrating your Championship win?”.
Max gave a smile, “Never. Besides, if you said no, I’d find someway to get you to come over here.”.
You raised a brow at his statement. “Really? How so?”
Max let out a hum as he sloshed his drink in his cup. “Hm… I’m not too sure. Not seeing the cats are a good place to start.”, a smirk tugged at his lips.
Your raised brow turned into a furrow in disbelief, “You wouldn’t dare… not Jimmy and Sassy… they love me!” You exclaimed while Max gave a laugh, running his hand through his blonde stands, well more of him doing a hair-tuck to his nonexistent length. The conversation soon comes to a halt, although the music is booming, it felt as if it is just you and him in the entire world at the moment. It was your own form of silence. A comfortable one.
"How about we get out of here.” He suggested, breaking the silence.
“Leave? Max, we just got here! You said-“
“I asked you to celebrate with me, I never said where. It’s my Championship win after all.” He smiled, his eyes wrinkling from his proposition. “We only met here because this is where the team would be. It’s not as if they would notice we’re gone anyways… they are too wasted to even think.”
You tried to hide your smile but failed as Max extended his hand pressing it against your back, his eyes shining with mischief.
"Come on, let's get out of here," he urged. And suddenly, the pulsating energy of the club faded into the background as if the world outside those doors was beckoning to you.
You both stepped out into the cool night air, and beyond the hustle and bustle of the city, there was a strange serenity. It was as if time slowed down, and you found myself feeling more alive than you had in a long while. Max’s hand felt warm… reassuring… friendly. A steady presence in the midst of the urban chaos.
Being a woman in the industry of Formula One caused many controversies, let alone being a engineer to one of the possible best upcoming drivers in the history of the sport. From the sexist comments from other Formula One fans, to even your own people, co-workers in the workplace. Their degrading looks given to you if you even tried to hold a conversation with them was enough to be said. It wasn’t until a response to a interview did others begin to take you seriously. One that Max himself gave.
`· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑
"Max, how do you feel about having a new, female engineer like Y/N on your team, especially during such a critical incident like the one with Bottas in Hungary? Do you think her gender affected her performance under pressure and can contribute to this race in Belgium? I mean, women are known to crack more under pressure then men.“ The interviewer asked as the room went quiet, a singular cough reverberating in the room from the tension of the atmosphere becoming so thick you can cut it with a knife.
“Excuse me?” Max questioned, his voice holding a tone filled of disbelief and slight disgust.
“I said, Max, how do you feel about-“
“No, no, I understood what you said I’m not deaf.” Her cut the journalist off making the journalist pause his speech and hold his tongue. “Look, I couldn’t care less about her gender. What matters to me is if she can do the job, which she’s been doing remarkably well. And as for the incident with Bottas in Hungary, she handled the pressure just like any other competent engineer would. It wasn’t her fault. I’ll take the blame for it. Her gender has nothing to do with it. If anything, it adds a fresh perspective to our team, and that’s a good thing. Now if anyone has any other questions like this asshole over here, I would pick another question to do.”
No one dared to speak of you the way the interviewer did.
After the interview, you approached Max who happened to be watching over some data from the sim. Blue eyes focused with such intensity that he didn’t even notice you.
”Max, I wanted to thank you for standing up for me in there. It means a lot to have your support." You commented softly, not wanting to disrupt him due to Max being known for his rather… straightforward and blunt responses.
"No problem. We're a team, and a team supports each other. Your gender shouldn’t matter in the first place. It’s all about weather you can do your job and your doing just fine.” He said matter of fact.
You nodded, feeling a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. You weren’t used to it one bit. But it felt amazing. As if you can actually walk somewhere and not be treated as if you were a piece of dirt.
”Thanks you... I'm glad to be part of this team, and I'll keep giving my best."
`· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑
A tender look graced your face as you remember the memory, finally gaining a friend in the hell of a industry, but you wouldn’t change it in the world if it meant that you got to meet Max and work with him. While you both walked along the quiet streets, the sounds of the city and the soft glow of the street lights enveloping us in a kind of magical cocoon.
“So… where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” was his only response, making you roll your eyes.
You two continued walking until you reach a secluded area on the white, sandy beach of the UAE. You look up to the dark, noir sky. The sun was long gone and the only shine that hits your skin was the moonlight, complemented by the clusters of stars crafting their own soft glow. Max stared at you as if you were some sort of marble statue, hand crafted by the Greeks.
How can someone be so beautiful?
The humming song from a nearby restaurant or bar was the only sound heard. It was a gentle melody, one that fits the mood so far into the night.
"Care to dance?” Max finally asked, snapping you out of your trance.
“Dance? What are we? In our early 20’s?” You teased, eyes meeting his blue eyes that glisten like the moon’s reflection in the oceans waves.
"Age doesn't define how we have fun," he retorted. You couldn't help but snort a bit, feeling the lightheartedness of the moment.
"Alright, why not?" you agreed, letting him lead you to a spot under the faint light of a nearby lamppost. He placed his calloused hand onto the small of your back, close to your hip just as he did to lead you out of the club, then leading your hand to be placed onto his shoulder
As the music enveloped you, you swayed to the gentle rhythm, feeling the warmth of the sand under your feet and the cool breeze from the ocean as his eyes meet yours.
`` I practice every day, To find some clever lines to say, To make the meaning come true ``
“I’m proud of you you, y’know that?”
“You’ve told me once or twice.”
“It’s true though.” You reassure.
“It’s just as true as me saying how beautiful you are.”
`` But then I think I'll wait Until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you ``
You let out a chuckle. “Smooth Max Emilian Verstappen. Very smooth. Practicing for some girl that caught your eye or something?”
His eyes slightly widen before losing contact with yours, “Maybe I am…”, his cheeks being brushed with a slight red.
“Well she must be a lucky girl. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
It goes faint.
`` The time is right, your perfume fills my head The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue ``
“Can-…” Max starts glancing back at you before cutting himself off choking on his own words.
“What is it, Max?”
“Godverdomme… can I tell you something?”
“Anything. I’m you friend after all.”
Friend.
`` And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you" ``
"I love you.”
“You… you what?”
Your movement stops.
“I love you Y/N. So much. Ever since you walked in the office I-“
“No… no no no… “
“…What?”
“Max… please tell me your messing with me…”
He is just your friend. But you’re his everything.
TWITTER
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A/N 2 ౨ৎ Ash, my love, my pookie, the love of my life, you my love re the reason I’m here today. If it weren’t for you reaching out and becoming friends with me in March, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Whether it be reviewing our work together, watching GP’s together, sending THOSE edits to one another, and even just random rants and talks, I’m glad it was you who I was with when I started my writing journey and I wouldn’t change a thing. I really hope you like this fic, I def tried my best with it 🥹🫶 LOVE YOU LOTS LOVELY 🩷
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corrodedcoffins-blog · 7 months ago
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Second Chances
masterlist
note: this fic started cause i was listening to 'tattoos' by renee rapp and thought of trevor
warnings: angst with a bittersweet ending, smut, fingering, fem receiving!oral, p in v, unprotected sex (be safe!)
word count: 7.1 k
♡ summary: Reader giving Trevor another chance, after his already second chance and a complicated history. Right on the cusp of releasing her debut album
♡ Trevor Zegras x Hughes!reader
request ✗
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yn_hughes
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liked by elblue_06, jackhughes, and others
yn_hughes: thought it was about time to get this off my chest...
my album 'second chances' is out October 14!!! pre-order now, my loves <3
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jackhughes: so proud!!! (i hate casual and i wish i never heard it)
lhughes_06: and bad idea right...
quinnhughes: don't remind me
yn_hughes: be nice to me!!
jackhughes: god forbid we don't want to listen to songs about you hooking up with someone
lhughes_06: he was so close to typing a name there, i watched
quinnfebrey.nothughes: all this means to me is we're getting some horny bops!
lukeypookie: don't tell my mom?!?!! what?!?? 😭
quinnhughes: so proud of my little sister ❤️❤️
yn_hughes: thx q 😭😭😭
taybrina.stan: I Hate Boston being the only one with caps????
lhughes_06: ig i have to say im proud of you too or i'll look like a bad bro
yn_hughes: cause this doesn't make you look like a bad bro at all 🖕
iloveyn.besthughes: i love that y/n has some of the strongest hockey blood running through her veins yet she becomes a musical theatre nerd
yn_ismygirl: releasing the album on the duck's first official home game of the year... my girl's not subtle
iworkhardonusernamesgivemethisone: 'now that we don't talk' is gonna be pettyyyy
elblue_06: Love you honey!!! So proud of how for you've come!
yn_hughes: love you too mom ❤️
i.couldnt.be.more.wrong: stranger sounds SAD
edwards.73: this mean i have a chance now?
lhughes_06: when did you ever????
yn_hughes: 😉
lhughes_06: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????????
iloveknitting: i don't wanna listen to I Hate Boston i know im gonna hate trevor after...
lizhere.idoloveknitting: am i the only one excited for girl i've always been???!!!
markestapa: plot twist skinny dipping is about me
yn_hughes: shhhh 🤫
lhughes_06: im over the whole you flirting with my friends thing, move onto jacks
yn_hughes: been there, done that
cole22.unoriginal: "been there, done that" is crazyyyy
cheifs_87: i just know i'm gonna relate to i should hate you a little too much
ishouldhatethem: same...
-
2017
The chilly summer breeze brushed the girl’s legs, causing her to wrap her cardigan tighten around herself. Readjusting her footing on the roof, she sat down, looking over at the large group of boys around the fire, she could smell it from here; the fire not the boys.
She looked along the roofs of the neighbouring houses and wondered if they ever went on their roofs. Could they see her now from where she could see them sitting around their picnic table in their backyard? She went through the possibilities in her head, what would happen if they could, what she would do if she knew for sure they couldn’t see. But her thoughts were soon interrupted by the shuffling of another person getting on the roof, she turned her head to meet the eyes of Trevor.
Trevor was her twin brother’s best friend and teammate, and though Jack never explicitly said they couldn’t date and would act overly grossed out when Trevor flirted with the girl, she felt like she was in some way betraying him for the thoughts she had, quite often, about Trevor. He had some sort of power over her, like he just took the logic clean out of her head.
“Hey- um Cole asked where you were, so I came looking for you.”
It disappointed her more than it should that it was Cole who alerted him of her absence and not the boy simply missing her, or noticed she didn’t add her usual commentary.
“Oh well, you found me.” 
That was embarrassing. Who even says that if they’re not in a book or movie? But obviously Trevor didn’t find her response that awkward since he sat down next to her. But the awkwardness quickly found her again at the situation of sitting next to the boy she really liked when she couldn’t think of anything to say. Her brain was completely blank. But Trevor, as he often did, cut the awkwardness that was in the air.
“So why are you up here?” He said, his hands rested on his bent knees as he looked up at the stars in the sky that night.
“I don’t know, just.. Didn’t feel like it tonight.” 
It was silent again. Was he offended? Felt like what she said was a hint for him to leave? Because it definitely didn’t want him to leave, she would never forgive herself if she messed this up now.
What she didn’t know was that a completely different, yet very similar, anxiety was eating away at the boy’s thoughts. Come on. Do it! This is a perfect chance! You’re alone, and the stars are out, and her face is lit up beautifully by the campfire that was down in the yard. It was romantic. And he would never forgive himself if he missed this up now.
“Well, I’m happy that you didn’t.” And he messed it up.
He was happy she didn’t feel up to hanging out with them tonight? Did he hate her company that much that the prospect of seeing her even in a group setting was a nightmare?
“That- that came out so wrong! That’s not what I meant at all, really! I meant that I’m glad I found you up here. Where we’re alone, and that means I can do this.”
Looking into her eyes he began leaning forward, he gave her a look as if to ask if it was okay, she nodded and let him join their lips. His soft lips against hers, if she wasn’t on a roof and at a risk of falling she thinks she would have completely melted into him. Keeping her feet planted firmly, the girl brought her hands to Trevor’s neck after he wrapped his arms around her waist. 
Now she’s had her fair share of kisses before, but nothing quite like this. She felt light, like she could float up to the sky at any second. But more importantly she felt safe. She couldn’t imagine a time she wouldn’t feel completely safe and warm and happy with Trevor.
They broke away from the kiss after a moment, though they didn’t go far, their foreheads rested against the others. His hands rubbed up and down her back under the cardigan, his hand stalling and the strip of skin between her jean shorts and crop top met, but only for a moment before it went back to the up and down motions. Her hands were busy with their own movements around his neck, down to his collarbone, and grasping his shoulders.
Trevor finally broke apart the moment of silence, “This mean we can do that more often?” 
If it wasn’t for his winning smile, she would have had a better chance at the stoic face she was trying to put on. But Trevor did have a winning smile, one that always caused her to also smile. 
“I want to take you on a date.” She may have kissed her fair share of guys, but she’d never been on a real date. One where she got asked, and got picked, and dropped off with a goodnight kiss at her front door. Where she would then tell her mom every second of it over ice cream on the back deck. She wanted that. She wanted it with Trevor. She couldn’t imagine her first real date with only one but Trevor.
“Okay, I’m sure I can clear my schedule.” “So glad you’ll clear your busy, busy schedule for me. It’s an honour.” “It should be! I don’t do that for just anyone!”
They ended up staying up there the remainder of the night, well at least until she heard Jack calling their names. Sharing soft kisses between their laughter. Trevor was definitely not just anyone to her. And she doesn’t think he ever will be.
-
2019
Driving in her car, she was coming from where she was living currently in New York to Boston. She liked Boston. It had a charm about it, and she was there to visit her boyfriend, Trevor, though these days ‘boyfriend’ seemed like a loose term. They don’t talk like they used to, it’s really both of their faults, they’re both busy. Trevor is university in Boston, focusing on Hockey and working hard to get to the NHL next year, and Y/n is working harder than ever after getting casted as Regina George in Mean Girls the musical on broadway. 
But these days it felt as though she was the only one putting in effort, it was always her calling him, and her driving to him, never the other way around. It’s felt like forever since she’s gotten a call from him. Which is why she was going to Boston now, wanting to clear the air and get them back to how they used to be. She was so naive.
She knocks on the door to Trevor’s dorm, and before she can knock for the second time the door swings open, her boyfriend standing with a smile on his face and his arms open wide for a hug. His arms wrapped around her waist, back where they belong, and her's come to link behind his head at the nape of the boy’s neck. Their faces in each other’s neck, both taking in the soft scent of each other, ones they’ve missed deeply.
“Hi.” “Hi.” They whispered, if their lips were anywhere except brushing each other’s ears there would be no way they could hear each other. Trevor swayed them back and forth slightly before he gave her body one more big squeeze and let go.
It was perfect, it was heaven. So perfect Y/n almost forgot that they even had problems in the first place. That’s how it always was with Trevor though, he wasn’t good at long distance, he never put in the extra work long distance needed.
It wasn’t until a couple hours later, after Y/n and Trevor had caught up and gotten settled on his bed together. Y/n’s head rested on his chest, she couldn’t only hear but feel his heart beat. It was domestic and safe. That’s why it hurt her own heart to have to bring up what she had to bring up.
“Trev?” “Yeah?” “I wanted to talk about something, but I don’t want you to get mad.” “I won’t. I promise.” He promised.
So there they were. Why did they always end up like this? Screaming at each other. Neither wanted to be doing this, so why did they always do it?
“I never said it was your fault!” “Really?! ‘Cause that’s basically what you said!” “Don’t put words in my mouth!” 
Trevor was pacing back and forth in front of his dorm door, while Y/n sat on the edge of the bed they were previously cuddled in. Her head in her hands, yelling at Trevor while her voice projected to the carpeted floor.
“You said I wasn’t putting effort in our relationship?! In case you haven’t noticed, I have my own life! I’m busy! With hockey! With classes! And wasn’t it me that asked you to come here this weekend?!” 
She picked her head up, now getting heated, “Oh yeah, when I called you! Then I drove up here! To see you!” “What does it matter who called who?! And who drove where?!” “Because it’s always me!” “It’s not always you.” “Have you seen my apartment, Trevor? Not just on facetime?!... No! You haven’t!”
After a couple more back and forth points, both defending themselves and blaming each other without listening back. Y/n was now sitting criss cross on Trevor’s bed while the boy sat in his desk chair. The pizza they had ordered was sitting next to her on the bed, half eaten.
“Trevor, I haven’t even met your new friends-” “They’re not important.” “But shouldn’t you want me too? God forbid you’re not the centre of attention.. And you don’t- You used to tell me you loved me five times a day, sometimes more.. You don’t do that anymore.” “I’m busier now.” “Busier than when you were on team USA?!”
That shut him up. His head dropped to his hands, elbows rested on his knees. Licking his lips he picked up his head again to look at the girl, the sadness was written all over his face, they both knew what was coming. After a moment the words they’ve both been thinking for the past hour were spoken into existence. 
“Maybe we should break up…”
After a minute she dared to look at the boy, his head was back in his hands, looking at the floor, his hair flopped over his face to hide the tears she knew were there. A small puddle from the splashes was her give away, that and the fact that no matter what she will always know Trevor better than anyone.
And she knew that walking out was what Trevor needed, they could talk another time. But Trevor, and herself, needed time to think.
Getting into her car, she stared at the car that was parked in front of her. Staring at herself in the reflection was the only reason she knew she was crying, the glimmer of the tears fell down her cheeks, they tickled slightly when they reached her neck. Her head fell against the wheel, it was like she lacked the strength to hold it up any longer. 
Rifling through her purse she finally felt the soft case on her phone, opening it to her contacts she started scrolling till she saw her mom’s contact with a red heart next to it. Just as she was about to press down on the phone, she stopped herself. 
She couldn’t call her mom, one because it was far too late, though that’s never stopped her before and her mother always picked up. But the real reason, reason two was that her mom was dealing with far too much right now, dealing with only having one baby at home, Luke, and the weight of knowing Jack was having a terrible rookie year. She couldn’t give the woman more to add to her plate.
It’s always been that her problems were her mom’s problems, her scars are her mom’s scars. But right now, she would rather her mom think that she’s fine while she was hurting more than ever, than make this another thing to keep her up at night. She didn’t need that, and after what she’s done for the girl, she didn’t deserve that.
So she drove. Where? She had no clue. She just drove, thinking about what she could have done differently, what Trevor should have done differently. There were so many things he should have said. But those were things he’d never get to say to her.
She finally stopped at an empty parking lot. The girl was meant to be sleeping at Trevor’s dorm tonight, so she supposed she had to set up camp. Thank god she had a couple blankets and pillows in the back. Getting out she set up a place to sleep in the back of her car. Now left with her phone and her thoughts.
Opening the notes app she got to writing. Writing songs was always something she did when she had to work through her emotions. Yet all she seemed to be able to write was, ‘I hate Boston’. It wasn’t Boston’s fault, but with how she was feeling now she would always remember this place as where she got her heart broken. 
-
2021
“Mom, seriously I’m fine with this.”
Of course she wasn’t fine with this, Trevor is now living full time an hour away from her. And obviously she knew this was going to happen eventually, so she should have known better, but that’s besides the point.
“You know I worry about you.” “I know, but I’m fine, mom.”
Ellen was calling her everyday to check in, she knew her daughter was hurting, she could hear it in the girl’s tone, no matter how many ‘I’m fine’s and ‘don’t worry about me’s she knew. Y/n naively thought she was fooling the woman, she didn’t want to worry her mom over the pain she was feeling from a guy she broke up with two years ago.
“Okay. I love you, honey.” “I love you too, mom” 
In her mind, what Ellen didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.
She was so fucked up. Out with her friends in LA, going into bar after bar, she needed to clear her thoughts, which worked as she couldn’t hear them anymore. Which is probably why she ended up texting Trevor whom she hasn’t talked to since the summer a couple months ago. After she put her phone on the table she quickly picked it up again at the sound of her ringtone.
“Hey Trevor!” “Hi. Did you mean to send that text to me?” “I don’t remember what did it say?” “From what I can make out it says, ‘hey can I come over?’ though most of it was spelt extremely wrong and that’s coming from me.” 
It was like old times, no awkwardness, that was the nice thing about Trevor he always knew how to get the awkward tension from the air.
“Yeah, that was the one I meant to send to you.” She also texted Luke, saying how much she missed him, she would hate it if she accidently sent that one to him.
“You wanna see me?” “Yeah!” “For what?” 
They both knew what she wanted to come over for, but better be safe than sorry. 
“You know.” After a moment of silence, he responds, “Okay” and sends over his new address.
Not wanting to track down her friends, she left, texting them in the uber that she left and was going to sleep, it technically wasn’t a lie she was going to sleep, eventually, but she couldn’t tell them she was going to see Trevor because they would try to stop her. She was drinking water in the uber wanting to sober up by the time she got to Trevor’s, and as her head was clearing of the cloudiness the alcohol brought her, she knew it was a bad idea. Of course it was a bad idea. Hooking up with an ex is like rule 101 of breakup etiquette. And that she probably shouldn’t, but… Fuck it, it’s fine.
-
The man buzzed her into his apartment building, she made her way up to the second floor, and all the way to his door she couldn’t help but think this was a bad idea, it could only end badly. But what if it didn’t? What if it ended good, really good?
She only knocked on the door once before it opened to show the smiling boy. God, when she looked at him, all the thoughts of this ending badly left. He looked good, he looked hot, she’s sure she’s seen better but in that moment, who cared? 
She pushed him in the door, shutting it behind her and let Trevor push her up against it. She couldn’t hear her thoughts again, no longer drunk of alcohol but drunk of him. His hands travelled south, starting at her waist then over her hips and then stopping at the hem of her skirt, now travelling back up this time under her clothes. 
“You’re not still drunk, right?” “No, I had like five waters on the way here.” “Good.” 
His hands went to the backs of her thighs, lifting her off the floor, her legs went around his waist and her hands were now more secure on his shoulders to aid him in carrying her. They made their way onto the couch, Trevor laying the girl down on her back before climbing on top, leaving kisses up her body until he met her lips. He paused slightly, was kissing too personal? Yes. 
Instead he decided to kiss her neck as his hands made their way to push her skirt up farther and hooking his hands around the waist of her panties, between soft pecks on her neck and chest, he asked, “You’re sure.” “God, Trevor, would I have gotten in an hour long uber ride if I wasn’t sure?” “Just have to make sure.” Thinking that was enough, the girl waited to feel his lips back on her and his hands back to their movements, and when she felt no such thing, she opened her eyes to look at the boy that was already looking back. He had a teasing smirk on his face and a look on his face as if to say, ‘go on’. She knew what he wanted so she did it, if she wasn’t this eager she would have teased him back but alas, “Yes.” “Good girl.”
After getting her panties off and out of his way, the man brought his hand back up to her cunt, he left feather light touches around her hole, teasingly inserting the very tip on his middle finger only to leave her empty again after a second. He brought his finger to his mouth, wetting it with his spit before going back to her cunt and rubbing a tight circles on her clit. The weight of his fingers caused the sensation to run from the tips of her toes to a feeling deep in her stomach. 
“Ohh, Trev, please.” 
His unoccupied hand nudged the hem of her shirt off as a sign to take it off, which she did, he then slipped his hand under her back to the clasp of her bra, slipping it off and throwing it onto the coffee table next to them. Now playing not-so-gently with her nipples, rubbing the hardened buds between his index finger and thumb while tugging slightly. Without concern he inserts two fingers, now using his thumb on her clit sporadically. Which caused the girl to moan his name, even louder when his mouth attached to her nipple. 
“Trevo-ohh, more- please more!” 
Slipping his fingers out of her and bringing them to his mouth, he tasted the tanginess of the girl, something he missed. After cleaning his fingers off her precum he took off his own shirt, finally levelling out the clothes-to-bare skin ratio that till he started unbuckling his pants wasn’t fair. 
After getting his pants and boxers out of the way, Trevor rubs the head of his cock up and down the girl’s wet folds, gathering her precum to help him slip in easier. Without warning the man thrusted into his girl’s cunt, “Ooh, baby, still feel so fucking good.” If she wasn’t completely thoughtless from his dick being inside her she would have definitely overthought the man’s use of the pet name, she’ll overthink later.
Getting himself into a perfect pace for them both Trevor brought his lips down to her neck again, suckling and leaving lingering kisses to her sweet spot, finding it effortlessly even after all these years. It was like nothing had changed. Later on the ride home she would realise that in fact everything had changed.
“Trev, I’m gonna-ahh” “Me too. Let go, baby.” 
He hit a new spot deep inside her when he brought her knee up to the girl’s shoulder, he could feel the girl squeeze around him. And after a few more thrusts he felt the gush of her cum dripping out of her and around him. He tried his best to last longer to elongate her orgasm, but from the feeling of her cumming he quickly slipped out and came on the girl’s stomach. 
Resting on his knees, head falling back as he caught his breath, he got up walking to the bathroom, he came back clean and wearing his boxers and a warm wet towel. Coming back to her, he kneeled between her legs once again, whipping the warm wet hand towel through her folds to clean the girl up. 
“Ahh” “Sorry, baby, I’ll try to be gentle.”
He continued to clean her off, slipping her panties back on her when he’s done. He also helped her slip on her shirt, both forgot about her bra, but truthfully she didn’t even want to think about putting it back on in her tired state.
“We should do this again.” He joked to break the awkwardness of hooking up with your ex.
“You know we don’t work, Trev.” “No I mean.. Just this.” 
-
So they did. And at first it was good for a while. They agreed it was casual, that there would be no attachments. They met in some random parking lot because Trevor’s roommate was home, Trevor’s head between her legs. Licking between her wet folds to clean off her cum. When he had gotten all that he could he sat up and crawled over to his seat, whipping his mouth with his sleeve when he sat back.
“You taste so good, baby.” He said while he leaned over the console to place a kiss on her lips that left an anger bubbling in her chest, how could he say they weren’t together when he would kiss her like that, “Let’s get in the back.” 
They both got out of the car, Trevor faster than the girl who was still recovering from her orgasm. He opened the truck, getting in and helping the girl get in after him. Cuddled together like old times, she could almost pretend that there was love. Neither talked, that’s how she liked it at the moment then she could pretend it truly was like old times and they were in love again, and that they would talk about moving in together next season. But they couldn’t. Because they were just casual.
She really did like the idea of being casual and having no attachments at first, but it’s Trevor. She could never be just casual with Trevor. How could they be casual when her favourite clothes lived at his apartment? How could they be casual when Ava called her every time she needed advice from an ‘older sister’? How could they be casual when his mom invited to stay with her in Long Beach while she was there to see Trevor? How was that casual?
Trevor was good to her. He really was. Because in his man brain they were casual. But she couldn’t lie to him anymore. She hadn’t written a song in forever, too afraid of what would spue out of her mind when she picks up her guitar.
“Is this still just casual for you?” 
His head turned towards her, like it was slow motion in a movie. He looked at her like he was hurt. Why was he hurt?
“Y/n, we shouldn’t talk about this now-” “If not now then when?!” “Y/n-” “No, really, Trevor. When? When?!” 
He brought his knees up to his chest, his head resting in his hands between them. She could see the deep breaths he was taking by the rise and fall of his back, “We said no attachments, baby.”
“It’s us, Trevor! Did you seriously think we wouldn’t have attachments?! I can’t keep doing this-” “What?” “That fact that tomorrow I could wake up and you could decide we’re done! That scares me! The fact that I have no idea if you'll just let me go at any moment!” “You know I wouldn’t do that.” “Do I?! Because, honestly, Trevor, it feels like you’ve never loved me. That you just want sex. And I can’t do that anymore, I want more! And if you really can’t give me that.. Then I have to let you go.” 
She couldn’t do it anymore. Acting like this was what she wanted. She didn’t want to pretend he loved her anymore. She honestly doesn’t even know why the silence from him still shocked her. But fuck did it anger her more.
“Talk, Trevor! Talk!” Shaking his head as he starts, “You knew I didn’t want a relationship when this started! So don’t go blaming me for this! I’m just getting my career started, and I can’t have a girl to distract me right now.” “...That’s what I am to you? Just a girl?” “Y/n, c’mon, you know I didn’t-” “No! Don’t back track now! I’m just some girl to you! I’m just some girl you bang on your couch sometimes!”
Getting out of this, she walks to her car in the next space over, reaching for the handle she hears, “I just don’t know you anymore.” The scoff that came from her lips was louder than intended, but at this point she didn’t care, “Bye, Trevor.”
She left that parking lot as fast as possible, blew through a red light to get onto the 405. She couldn’t help but think ‘what if she got in a car crash tonight’ nothing good came from thinking of stuff like that but she often did, and if she did crash tonight, she thinks that she would regret Trevor. It hurts her to think that after all they’ve been through, she regrets him and all the time she spent thinking of him. When he clearly didn’t think of her as much.
She thought about all the things he put in front of her time and time again; hockey, his team, sex, they all seemed to be more important to him. As time went on between them, she could feel her importance to him slip away. From that first night in his new apartment to now, she had fallen far down his list of priorities. 
The houses along the road caught her eye, a couple was sitting out on their deck. It reminded her of the night her and Trevor first got together on the roof of the girl’s house, just outside her bedroom window. That felt lifetimes away, she almost forgot her and Trevor ever felt that strongly about each other at the same time. It felt like anything would remind her of Trevor. He was very well acquainted with the back of her head, he’s basically lived there since they were sixteen. 
But she should hate him. He didn’t even try to fight for them, both times! She felt stupid, how could she still love a man who clearly didn’t feel love back, lust maybe, but not love. It wasn’t logical, nothing really was  with her in regards to Trevor. It was as if he took the logical half of her brain, a power he's had over the girl since a young age. Around him she could only lead with her heart, never her head. And that was the half she desperately needed around him. The half that did hate him, and didn’t want to make excuses and forgive him, because that’s all she wanted to do at that moment.
So she did the only thing that always helped her. She called her mom. 
The line only rang a couple times before Ellen picked up, and since she had no idea of the distress her daughter was in she thought this was just like any other of their phone calls, “Hi, honey, how are you?” 
As soon as the words passed through the line, the tears in the young girl’s eyes started falling harder, “It’s over.” 
Ellen and Y/n always had a special relationship, growing up Y/n didn’t have many friends that were girl’s, the fact that they moved around a lot for the boy’s hockey careers, and she has always had a hard time making friends. She mostly hung around with her brother’s and their friends, who soon became her friends. One good thing that came from that though is the strong relationship she has with her mother.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?” On the other line Ellen made her way outside, out of ear shot of anyone else in the house. “I’m alone, hun, get it all off your chest.”
“He never puts me first. I don’t know why I ever thought he could, why I ever thought he could be serious about us. And after all these years, he can’t say he loves me.”
“Maybe, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I think it’s what you need to hear. Maybe this is for the best. If a boy can’t put you first, he doesn’t deserve you.”
She thought about that all night, till she fell asleep, but when she woke she thought about it more. Those words repeated in her head for weeks. She kept telling herself that more she gave him, more love, more commitment, he just wanted her less. They didn’t want the same things. Maybe they never would.
And one morning she woke up, and she felt better. The girl still called Ellen everyday. And everyday her mother told her things would get better, and at first she thought this was just a comforting lie a mom has to tell her daughter. But today? Today was the day things started feeling better. It was a weight of her chest. 
That day she picked up her guitar. She got it all out, something music always did for her. And it felt nice. So nice.
-
2023 (summer)
This was the first time Trevor would be at the lake house at the same time as her since the summer of 2021. She had expertly avoided him, spending summers with her friends until she got word from Quinn of Trevor’s schedule. But this year things were different, her best friend is on a trip with her boyfriend in Europe, and even asking very nicely the couple said ‘no’.
And don’t get her wrong, she looked for every other option, but none were there. And she couldn’t just stay home for the summer, she knew her brother’s wouldn’t say anything but it would upset them that she doesn’t come see them during their only time off.
So she was going to see Trevor after years. Well not like it’s been years, they saw each other from time to time at hockey events and whatnot, but it’s been a couple years since they’ve been in the same place for an extended amount of time.
Jack, Luke, and Quinn were outside now, he supposed this would be a good time since they were all there and alone. Most of the other guys were on the other side of the yard playing a casual game of football, but knowing the group it wasn’t casual. He sat down between Jack and Quinn, Luke across from him, he took a quick sip of beer not quite knowing what to say.
“Yes?” Quinn was the one who decided to bite. “Y/n’s coming tomorrow?” “Yeah.” The oldest brother said, harshly, he didn’t know exactly what happened. Y/n would usually go to her friends or their mom about things like that. But that doesn’t mean he hadn’t heard, and seen, his fair share of the lasting effects the break up had on the girl.
Realising where this was going Luke got up, his hands on his knees and he mumbled something only Jack, who was closest to the boy heard, “I’m not dealing with this shit.”
“What about it, Z?” Jack just wanted to get this over with, he knew it was coming, he knew his best friend would ask about the girl before she arrived, but he wished it happened when Quinn wasn’t around, it would save him a headache. 
He tried to play it cool, acting like he was just stating a fact to start small talk with no ulterior motives, but they all knew that was a lie. “I just- I was wondering how she is. What she’s up to.” Jack half-expected Quinn to blow his head off at the words, he was always the most protective over their sister. Personally, Jack didn’t care about that, maybe it was because they were the same age, but if he could take care of himself he knew Y/n could. But instead the eldest calmly got up, patted Jack on the back and left without a word.
“Is she good?” “Yeah. She’s good.” “Good.”
Jack didn’t know if he was supposed to say what he was about, but it was already coming out of his mouth when he thought of the consequences, “She’s releasing an album actually.” The boy’s head shot to the side, to look at Jack fully, he only had one question he wanted to ask, Jack didn’t even let the boy get a word in, “Yeah.” 
-
The air in Michigan felt different than in LA, and not just because of the air pollution, Michigan felt like summer. She could feel the change from their usual weather of late winter that slowly seeped to spring then into summer. 
Ellen and Jim had picked her up from the airport, which was good because she didn’t have to get an uber but also because she could actually catch up with them without her brother’s interrupting. 
“Trevor’s here y’know.” “I know, dad.” “Is that okay?” “I’m happy without him. And I want him to be happy. And I want us to be able to be friendly.” It meant a lot when her father checked in on her, not that he didn’t do it a lot, he did. But right now, she needs it.
The three pulled into the driveway of the lake house, and as soon as they did the girl got out of the car and ran through the house to find everyone. After checking the living room, kitchen, and the den she found the large group of boys outside.
She tackled Luke into a hug, he was closest to her, “Hey, Lukey!” Luke mumbled back since her hug was so tight that his face was shoved into her shoulder, “Hi, Y/n.”
After all the hello’s with her brothers, all very similar to the one she had with Luke, she said hello to her and Jack's friends, Quinn’s friends she’s known as long as she can remember, and Luke’s new College friends, she hadn’t met them yet since she hasn’t been at the lake house. Then of course, after she met someone named Dylan, Trevor caught her line of vision.
And all the work, all the crying, and screaming, and fighting with herself that she made the right decision, all the progress she made, gone. She felt the same as she had the night in the parking lot, and the time in his college dorm. Helpless, helplessly in love with him. Just as she’s always been.
“Hey.” “Hi.”
Both took a deep breath, and it was as if their eyes were glued to each other, they never left. Jack spoke, wanting to give the (ex) couple some privacy, though that didn’t exactly go to plan, “Okay. Um- food in the kitchen.” “Yeah, that sounds good.” The girl said, quickly pulling her sunburn gaze from the boy to make her way back into the house. 
“Some history there?” Dylan asked, as he and Luke walked up the steps up to the house.
Y/n successfully avoided Trevor all day, which wasn’t her original plan but after him tearing down all her hard work of getting over him with just a little eye contact and one word, she was scared of what a conversation would do.
So after a long day of not talking about and trying not to think about him, she sat outside her window to think about him. The roof was her favourite place at the lake house, a place she could think. 
It was a place that reminded her of Trevor.
How, even after everything, did she love him? After he repeatedly didn’t put her first, didn’t think of how his actions affect her, didn’t want to love her. How did she love him?
She wished they could just strip their history bare and start over. Now that they’re older, they both have careers of their own, maybe it could work this time? 
The sound of the bedroom window being pushed further open and shuffling cuts the girl from her thoughts, looking over she sees the very boy that has occupied her thoughts since they were fifteen.
“Hi.” “Hi.” 
The boy sat next to her, he left what he thought was an appropriate amount of space between them. Sitting next to her was more nerve racking than he thought, swiping his clammy hands on his knees, Trevor tries to break that awkward tension. 
“I heard you’re writing an album.” “I am.” “I’m proud of you. I know that’s what you’ve always wanted.”
Turning her head from where her eyes were previously staring down the horizon in an act to distract her from making eye contact, she looked at him. Took in how he wasn’t looking at her, maybe he was as nervous as her, and his lips that were between his teeth as an anxious tick, his eyes that never stayed in one place for long, he really was beautiful. She’s always thought that.
“Thank you, Trev.” 
After a couple too many moments of silence she decides to ask what she’s been waiting to ask, “Where’d you hear that?” “Oh, Jack mentioned it.”
She wishes it was from him asking her brother about her, but realistically Jack probably said something about it to the group and Trevor just remembered. But it didn’t take away from the fact that he remembered that being a singer was always her final goal, and the fact that he was proud of her. He may not know it but that meant the whole world to her.
“I- Y/n… I’m sorry.” Y/n opened her mouth to say she too was sorry, but was  cut off by the boy, “No please, I need to talk.” Closing her mouth, she nods a ‘yes’ and lets him continue, “I never should have treated you the way I did, and I’m not just talking about Cali, I’m talking about Boston too. I- You mean so much to me, and I never told you that. And I should have. I should have told you every single day how much I love you and how much you mean to me, no matter if we were in the same bed or across the country, I should’ve told you that everyday.. But I do regret it everyday that I didn’t. That I just let the best, most talented, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous girl in the world go. I was a fucking idiot. I regret that every fucking day.” Trevor can’t help it as he lets small tears fall from his eyes and down his cheek. 
“I really did love you. I guess I just- I was really bad at communication, and I was under a lot of pressure with hockey, and that’s no excuse I know! I just what to explain my fucked thought process. I was under pressure and I felt like I couldn’t manage a relationship, but I also felt like I couldn't not have you in my life. And I want you to know, that was never casual. It’s us! Nothing with us is casual.
“And when you broke things off, I’d never and don’t think it’s possible to feel worse than how I did then. I was so fucked that coach sent me to therapy! Which is why I can say all this stuff now.. I just need you to know that, I’ve changed. And even though I don’t deserve it, if you gave me a second chance.. I wouldn’t fuck it up this time.”
Maybe she was fucked, but she believed him. But could she give him a second chance? Or rather, a third chance. After everything he’s done? Could people change? Maybe they could. She never would have pegged Trevor for the therapy type, but he went. She’s gone to therapy, has for years, and it’s helped her. Made her into a better version of herself, maybe it did to Trevor too. But could she take that chance? Risk getting hurt by him again? 
Of course she could. It’s Trevor.
“I want to give you another chance. But it’s gonna take a lot more.” “Like what? I’ll do anything.” “If we can be friends this summer, and continue going to therapy when we get back to California, and we both try and work hard to make this work. I would.” “Done… I don’t know if  this is in the clear for ‘friends’, but I want you to know that I love you.” “I love you too.”
Taylor Swift once said that they’re ‘relationships that are never really done’ that was them. No matter how many years it took, no matter how many chances, and wrong timings they had, their narrative will never truly be over.
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chenlesfavorite · 2 months ago
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i’ve been way too level headed in my recent asks but chenle is about to GET IT and NOT in the good way. he’s making my eye twitch, i want to pummel him through the screen. he needs an intervention NOW his besties need to get in there and knock some sense into his big ass head (i say with love).
as for y/n sweetie i get it “we accept the love we think we deserve” but come on stand up they’re just men (even if he is an incredibly attractive biker) at this point i say we throw in the towel until chenle gets to groveling and i mean he BETTER G. R. O. V. E. L. hands and knees, ridiculous ass gifts, COMMUNICATION, quality time he doesn’t FUCK UP!!!!! i want to see this man SIMP like no man has ever before him and only THEN will i be happy with him. we got the ji redemption ark chenle needs to STEP THE FUCK UP before SOMEONE decides to take his girl. ☀️
(i hope you’re doing well i’m really proud of you and your story, it’s getting so much love. i fully understand what you mean about got my ion you but for what it’s worth i think it’s good because not every relationship is the same. everyone goes at their own pace and so it’s nice to see straightforward every once in awhile. also i’m not ready for this story to end either but i just know you’re cooking up something good with the love consultant idea and i will be waiting to hear which of the boys needs help ❤️)
OUUU HE BETTER WATCH OUTTT😭😭🙏🙏 CUZ U ARE NAWTTT PLAYINGGGG‼️ we should all gang up on him and beat some sense into him 😁 (with love ofc as u said!!)
THEY’RE JUST MEN. EXACTLY. 🙏 you don’t need a man in ur life!!! in fact ITS BETTER TO NOT HAVE ONE IN UR LIFE CZ FUCK THAT‼️
OH TRUST. HE WILL BE SIMPING HAAARDDD, like he’s gonna be on his hands and knees for her EVERY HOUR, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY SECOND. y/n will make sure he never fucks up again. 🙏 she’s literally gonna be training him like he’s in the NAVY
GET UR GIRL BRO, SHE’S WAITING FOR YOU🤭
yess im doing well!! ty for asking 🫶 hope you’re doing just as good!
im really overwhelmed with all the love and support night rider is getting like WOW😭 u guys r truly the best and i love y’all SO MUCH :(( <3
OOHH so true, every relationship goes differently, some may be slower and some may be faster 🤔
i am cooking up something indeed… 🤭 it’s gonna be a pretty cute and silly smau that’s for sure!! i can’t wait for yall to start reading it hehe
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ppnuggie · 2 years ago
Note
Hello :D I'd like to make a request if that's ok, I made sure to read the rules and masterlist before requesting ^^
May I please request a headcanon of city hunter, scar and celtic (separately) with a gender neutral s/o who likes skulls that look similar to dinosaur fossils especially carnivore types (like a t-rex <3), but their quiet about that subject to others because they think it's childish-- I hope this one is ok,, take your time in writing and make sure to rest, thank you ! <33
      PREDATOR x gn human reader
    『  city hunter ,, scar ,, celtic ,, gender neutral human reader 』
  -> boys w/ a gn human s/o who likes skulls of carnivores
  — fluff ,, sfw ,, crack
  — omg 🥹🥹 my first predator ask !! tysm for requesting omg 😭❤️❤️ and for reading rules ,, im ,, 💍 😤 makes me rlly happy tbh :D tysm tho !! im tryna get some sleep in but school’s starting back up 😭💔💔 posting this today bc there desperately needs to be more predator content ,, and i got a boost of motivation 💀 i didnt realize it said ‘similar to dinosaur fossils’ so i just any sort of carnivore skull in general 😭💔💔 so sorry
city hunter ::
• he wouldnt know if you liked them or not ,, just dropping anything he thought you’d like off at your door step tbh
• he did ,, however ,, notice how you’d put the skulls he dropped off somewhere in the open ,, where they could be observed
• he felt quite proud ,, puffing his chest out as though he had saved your life ,, planning to bring more for you to put up
• he does get a bit cocky tho 💀 bro came home beat up and instead of patching himself up and prevent you from having a heart attack ,, he simply presented a xenomorph skull ,, polished and shiny all for you
• thats when you had confessed your liking towards the skulls he brings you ,, only enlightening and feeding into his ego
• he purrs softly and hugs you from behind ,, though youre quick to scold him bc hes still injured n stuff😭 mf fix yourself up first at least smh
scar ::
• scar is more observant then city hunter is ,, though hes still young and not as smart to know if you like skulls or not
• he does talk and share stories about his brothers’ achievements ,, celtic and chopper ,, how theyve got a small yet nice collection of different trophies ,, chopper more though since he does wear some of them to show off
• the more he talks about his brothers’ trophies and his as well ,, he starts to notice you might have a somewhat fascination with them 🥴
• until he eventually gets you to admit you liked hearing the stories and seeing the skulls in person ,, though it was somewhat of a muttered confession
• he didnt mind you were shy about it ,, but he would never think of it childish to like something ,, only bringing his trophy collection so you can see his accomplishments
celtic ::
• although he is older then scar in a way ,, hes about the same as city hunter when he comes to noticing things about you 💀💀 just give him a moment ,, hes trying
• and like city hunter ,, he doesnt really consider whether or not you like seeing skulls of other creatures and just humans in general ,, only showing you his new trophy
• and instead of getting a kiss that he was waiting for and expecting to happen 😤🙄 he just got scolded for his injuries
• though when you do take a fascination in the skulls he shows ,, it only makes him more determined to bring more back for you ,, to do better on his hunts and prove himself worthy of being your mate
• he purrs when you get excited about seeing a new skull hes brought back ,, fishing it out and presenting it ,, as if it were about to be put in a museum
• give him a kiss for his accomplishments 🥹 he needs it tbh
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delcakoo · 2 years ago
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KOOKIE I HAD THE BEST DAY TODSY WTF?!
OK FIRST I HAD MY FIRST FULL PERIOD WITH MY SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER
OMG HE’S SO GIRLBOSS 😤😤😤😤😤 HES A FEMINIST, ANTI RACIST, ANTI SEXIST, ANTI HOMOHOBIC, ANTI MISOGYNY 🤧🤧🤧🤧 NOT TO MENTION HE HAS A PRIDE FLAG WITH ALL THE COLORS AND A BADASS SNAKE TAT 🤭🤭 🫶🏽
He’s Asian American, or half Filipino and half American. AND HE DOESNT SUGARCOAT HOW BAD AMERICA IS LIKE TWO MINUTES AFTER WE WALKED IN HE STRAIGJT UP SAID “WE STOLE THIS LAND FROM NATIVE AMERICANS AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE AMERICA FOR THAT.” LIKE HELLO?! YES STAN!!!
He’s so SOCIALLY AWARE about cultural incompetence and appropriation!!! He appreciates black brown and Asian communities so fucking much and it’s like, yes!! FINALLY!! He also has so many Roe v Wade posters BECAUSE HE BELIEVES ABORTION IS A HUMAN FUCKING RIGHT‼️‼️‼️‼️ he talked about how rock and roll is literally from Black women, a church sister moved really fast on her guitar and BAM ROCK AND ROLL and he outright admitted that white people appropriated the heck out of it and made it a “white thing” 😨
Since he’s half Filipino, he has this fish hook (?) necklace and tattoo because it honors his leadership. And he said when people ask him “omg u have a Maui necklace” he feels bad because his culture is reduced to a cartoon character!!! And I made so many connections with him in terms of cultural disrespect. I said that it’s sort of like jasmine bc I said “when I complain that there’s no south Asian representation in media someone and their mother has to tell me ‘what about jasmine/Aladdin’ these media are never culturally accurate. Bc aladddin is literally made of Turk, Desi, and Arabic culture mixed in to one to give white people “ a taste of south Asians 😜😍” and I said that and he was like “RIGHT, ITS SO FRUSTRATING BEING REDUCED TO SOMETHING THATS NOT CULTURALLY ACCURATE.” AND I WAS LIKE?! HELLO HE’S SO AWARE ABOUT CURRENT MEDIA LIKE MY OLD HISTORY TEACHER COULD NEVER 😩
NEXT WE WERE READING THESE POEMS AND THE TOPIC KF MISOGNy and you wanna know what he told the boys?!
��All you little boys here, if you wanna be a REAL man in the future then being a REAL man is not putting down women. Women have to right to speak up and put you in your place if you’re being rude, which men have a long history of doing. If you ever disrespect a woman gouge your eyes out and be ashamed. I don’t wanna see that Andrew Tate behavior in my classroom. I also don’t thing your mothers will be happy you spend your life on sexism and misogyny, so If you don’t wanna explain your actions to your own mother, i demand you change your mentality if you haven’t already.”
LIKE HELLO?! HE KNOWS ABOUT ANDREW TATE?! I JUST KNOW HE WOULD EAT UP THAT H0E IN SECONDS
He’s my new fav teacher no questions asked.
Also my playlist KEPT PLAYING MY FAVORITE SONGS?! Like it must be that I followed you and realized that your so amazing that I got all this good karma 🥵🥵🥵
ANYWAYS ILYSM KOOTI FRUITY 😍😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 HOW WAS UR DAY?!
KUMA. IM GOING TO SNEAK INTO YOUR FUCKING SOCIALS CLASS. IM ON THE WAY RN BROOO UR TEACHER SOUNDS AMAZING AGHHHH HE SOUNDS SO COOL ???? LIKE ITS SO RARE TO MEET AN ADULT LIKE THAT IN GENERAL AGH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU IM JEALOUSSSSS 😭😭
bro just the name andrew tate makes me furious i’ve only seen a few clips of him because i genuinely cannot listen to the shit rhat comes out of his mouth 💀 so happy he got his platform taken away BUT AGHH UR TEACHER SAID NOTHING BUT FACTS. SO TRUE BRO ESPECIALLY ABORTION. ANYONE WHO THINKS ABORTION SHOULD BE ILLEGAL NEEDS TO GET TF AWAY FROM ME LIKE ABSOLUTELY NOT 🥰🥰 as he should he would be my favorite too ☝️💯
OMG YES WHATRE SOME OF UR FAVORITE SONGS I’D LOVE TO LISTEN TO THEM 🫶🫶 and yeah that was actually me i personally told ur playlist to play the bops!! 💯🥰 ur welcome!!
ILYT KUMIE WUMIE 💖💯🫶 MY DAY WAS GREAT IT WAS SI NICE AND SUNNY AND AND IM SO EXCITED CUZ SPLATOON 3 CAME OUT WHICH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR OVER A YEAR. IM GONNA PLAY IT ALL DAY MWAHHAHA
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slaytimesover · 3 years ago
Text
Getting the C**NTS back together
—————
made up text chat between the euphoria gals, set after the finale & minus (SPOILER) fez getting in the shootout
I JUST WANT MY GIRLS TO BE HAPPY BROOOO
content: wholesome, tryna be realistic w how they text
—————
March 1st, 2021
Maddy: hey anyone
add cass back i still have the bitch unadded
Kat: bro don’t u know her username
Maddy: no this is my new phone rmb
literally showed u in class today:/ rude mf
Kat: shit sry babe
Maddy: </3
*Kat has changed the chat name to cassies hot tub vomit💯💯*
Maddy: HAHAHAHAAAAA GTFO
BB: 🤣🤣🤣Funny ash Nahhhh Kat
Jules: uMM bro how come idk anything abt this…
story time ???
*Kat has added Cassie*
Cassie: Um what the fuck guys….
Kat: SORRY CASS THE OPPORTUNITY WAS RIGHT THERE
BB: Can still Smell that shit on me ICL🤣🤣😂
Maddy: 💀💀fucking helpppp
Jules: I STILL NEED THAT STOYTIME ???
Cassie: Can I ask what the hell is going on
Is this new or smth? Also the names not funny
Jules: new as in … like 3 months old then ye
Cassie: WTF
Not a single one of yall has talked on the other chat for ages is it bc u guys were fucking here?
BB: Ya we have
Jus like u banged Nate for Ages n Shi 💀💀
Kat: out of POCKET
Maddy: LMAO BARBARA
Jules: PFF
no hard feelings tho cass :)
we all wanna meet up soonish
Maddy: yup friday at 8, my place
sorry this fkn introduction was brutal but babe we wanna properly get together again
all 7 of u cunts
Kat: 7? there’s 5 in the gc🤨🤨
Jules: wait wait wait can we like BACJTRACK to the cassie hot tub thing??
Cassie: No Jules we really can’t
Also Maddy are you sure?
Maddy: girl puked her guts out at my party after drinking herself half to death <3
sent me into fkn cardiac arrest ill tell u that
love u though babe
and yes ofc. we outta put this past us
Cassie: MADDY!!! Girl!!!!
Jules: LMAO POOR CASS
no shame in it weve all been there ❤️
Cassie: Shut upppp
Tell me if I’m ever gonna hear the end of that story…
Maddy: @Kat forgot to add em but i want rue rue & lex there too
going full out bitches
Kat: cass keep dreaming lolll
BB: Jule boutta see her Ex Yooooo😫😫
Kat: fuck fuck oh yeah
are yall cool now? i saw u two tgt after the play
BB: Play was Fire Though Lexi Ate🔥🔥🔥
Cassie: …
Jules: uh
well
that’s the question 😃
Maddy: jules b what happened?
Kat: yeah ive been meaning to properly check in holy crapp
Jules: we aren’t seeing each other anymore in that way, & maybe its for the best but im still processing it yk?
it was… weirdly calm even after the intervention bullshit went down
ig we had an unspoken agreement that we shouldnt be together
even if theres still love between us
its hard to tell where we stand is all im sayin
Kat: shit dude i hope ur okay
Maddy: yeah…
so much respect for u
itll get better n itll be worth it <3 i promise
wish i coulda realised that on my own, ur fuckin fearless
Cassie: I hear you Maddy
I’m happy for u Jules
BB: Go Jule 🙏
Cassie: I mean, if ur all okay then I’ll come
I really want to make amends I don’t know what had gotten into me
I feel terrible
Maddy: a friend told me that in her experience, it was just the right amount of attention at the wrong time, yh? anyways girl i kno u deserve amother chance even if u fucked up
& jules
same goes for u n rue, how abt we all hang out like old times and see where it goes on from there hm? pretty pls
Jules: i cant promise that itll nott be awkward but im down mads!
Maddy: bettt
*Maddy added Rue and Lexi*
Lexi: uh hello
what is this gc name 😭 don’t remind me omg
Kat: 😹😹
Maddy: okay listen up girls, my house 8pm friday, not optional so clear ur shit. no excuses.
& im talking to u lex with that fez mf
Lexi: noo stop💀
BB: She Blushin through the screen on Godd LOL
Rue: wait hey what’s going on
Maddy: rue rue
we wanna come together like the olden days & properly have a girls night
think we deserve a celebration after the shit weve been thru this year
Lexi: really?
thats sounds so nice I like that !!
Kat: ur play def sealed the deal for us dude<3
we fr just need a big catch up & some actual fun
Jules: literallyy
Maddy: everyone in fr?
Lexi: yess
Cassie: Yes
Jules: yep!
Kat: ofc
BB: Yass
Cassie: Rue?
Lexi: um I think fez just took her phone hold up
Jules: NOT YOU WITH FEZ AGAIN AHHH
Rue: YO WHO THE FUCK IS CASSIE AND WHY SHE THROWING up in the bathbutt
Kat: man said bathbutt😭😭
Rue: TUB*
Tu(/(/)£&&&@&@&&&@@@@@@@
Sorry55555555555555 that was fe££&&
FEZ TOOK My phone sry guys
Maddy: sadly were not inviting fez </3 shame we can’t meet the bf lexi but rue come join us brooo
Rue: i mean…
we can try
lotsa shit went down between us tho are u all good?
Cassie: Yeah, & we can just take it step by step anyways
Jules: yepp, i wanna see u all
no matter what
Rue: well
ill try n be there
so sure guys:)
BB: YOOOO It Worked
Maddy: ahhhhhh! cant fucking wait
god i missed this bs<3
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lovemars · 2 years ago
Text
hm. time to psychoanalyze myself i think. cw traumadumping cw long ass post cw oversharing 😭
the srs cws are talk of sex and stuff but in a sad way not a horny way, sa, men on the internet being gross, bad coping mechanisms, etc
like. idk. i was thinking abt this last night and now im thinking abt it more and like. i feel like. the way i appear in headspace and stuff is just. completely based after. OH MY GOD SOFT BOY CAME OUT? um. sorry it just came on shuffle. ANYWAY. 😭. i feel like how i appear and everything is just based off of like our brain trying to be attractive to- well men mostly. other genders nd stuff but mostly men Specifically cis men. and like. literally none of us actively want to have cis (esp cishet) men attracted to us ❤️. but its like, i know Why like i know its cuz one of my roles is a sexual alter and our brain made us appear the way we do in headspace as part of it trying to keep us safe etcetc WHATEVER i dont care 🫶. like. i literally even- like for instance when we were dating our ex i remember trying to like. be attractive to her and make her like me/us even tho like. i was uncomfortable as fuck and like. i did the same with redacted from irl and just didnt set boundaries at all- no thats not true we definitely did set boundaries. i was just bad at enforcing them- i guess cuz i was like. idk completely lost in this mindset of like, not being able to say no and not feeling safe and feeling like it was my only purpose inguess?
and then like- i also feel like. imean i dont really get the love languages thing but if i had to pick one it would definitsly be words of affirmation and like- i feel like. okay 😭. im not a good person by. whoever the fuck uhh. pat the bunny i think? plays in the background. like for years and by for years i mean ever since 4 days after i turned 18. my thing had been like. posting on reddit . in various subreddits that like, Well the men in them are not very nice to me or to women . and like. i feel like that ties back to the words of affirmation thing cuz i was like intentionally seeking out people who would hurt me (<- which also ties into being a persecutor). and i dont do it anymore because months in the getalong shirt with nik made me feel bad abt it 😭 and then i started to realize that i like when people are nice to me actually. and then i was like Huh maybe tjats not super healthy for me probably. (it is not). well and thats the reason im banned (by nik) from reddit and sex with cis people forever.
but like. 😭 SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. writing a damn novel here. ANYWAYYYY. the whole posting images on reddit dot com -> talk to creepy men on reddit dot com -> intense self hatred and shame -> nik fronts and freaks out and deletes everything -> i feel bad -> i do it again next time i feel like making myself feel terrible on purpose for fun Spiral. like. ive spent all this time gojng down that spiral and now its like. bro i jusr want someone to be nice to me. like i spent ages convincing myself that actually i didnt care abt the shit those men were sayinh & that i liked it and now im like. i literally dont. like. i dont wabt someone ive never spoken to who didnt even say hi or ask what im ok with to say like. waves hand. stuff im not repeating just make up something genuinely disgusting and a bit terrifying and ive probably heard it. and now i dont even KNOW like. what i want i guess. idek my sexuality cuz ive never bothered to think abt what i want cuz i was too focused on what people i dont like/am scared of/etc to think abt how i felt. which in retrospect. bad and scared and. etc.
anyway. idk its just dawned on me the other night how much of who i am is wrapped up in how much i want everyone to like me all thw time and also how much i dont like myself. and like im working on it. and if working on it means thinking about drm from minecraft youtube ******* ** ** ***** so be it i guess 😭. idk man if nik can read dr*amnotnap fic and call it coping i can thirstpost abt drm in my head. idk.
ig im just. now that im able to be more normal and rational and stuff im able to see like. damn i was really bad at dealing with my emotions and tried to do that in ways that were not healthy for me or anyone else. and now all my sense of. who i am is wrapped up in that i guess. which sucks. and im working on it . SLOWLY! but im working on it
tldr: damn this guy should probably talk to a therapist abt all this shouldnt he. well thats okay at least hes hot
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