#bro i swear to god. has job hunting always been like this

[lokh]

does anyone actually build a detailed linkedin profile. you've got to be fucking with me

[joyful-soul-collector]

ooh what's lockwood and co about should i watch it?

WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK THIS HERE WE FUCKIN GO BROS

So Lockwood & Co is a netflix series based on a book series of the same name. Essentially it's about ghosts and ghost hunters, but with a twist: It's set in our time, but not our time as we know it.

Basically, around the 1970s, ghosts just like. Appeared. For no reason we've been able to figure out. People would die, and their malevolent ghost would come back, especially if they died in a particularly traumatic way. They called this The Problem. The thing about these ghosts, is that if they touch you, you die, and if you make eye contact with one for too long, you become Ghost-Locked, which basically send you into a coma. We're not sure what Ghost-Locked victims see in this coma but they always look horrified so we can assume it's not great. There seem to be 3 types of ghosts: Type Ones are what you normally picture for a ghost, Type Twos can make illusions and are more powerful, and Type Threes are incredibly rare and they can talk and communicate with certain people.

Then there are the ghost hunters. Now ghost hunters are always children, usually teens, because as you grow older you lose your Talent, your ability to sense ghosts/death. There are 3 types of Talents: Seeing, Hearing, Touching.

Another thing about this world is that there's no Internet. You can see in the theme song piles of old broken computers, and I'm not sure it's explained yet WHY the internet was never invented, but we assume it's because of The Problem somehow. But this means that the newspaper and news on tv is mainly how information gets around, and any research done has to come from a library and books.

So basically in this world there are companies that pay teens to hunt for ghosts and get rid of them. The companies are usually run by adults though, so it's fraught with awful shit, they often treat these kids like they're just tools and not like they're actual people. Often the kids don't actually get paid themselves, because their parents can control where their money gets paid to, so parents will send of their kids to ghost war and rake in the money safe at home. Capitalism god ahold of The Problem and figured out how to make hella money of of it, so a lot of these companies that are supposed to help people are actually super corrupt and awful to their employees.

Unless of course, you're Lockwood & Co

These dorks look at em

50 years after the start of The Problem, Anthony Lockwood, the guy on the right, is an orphaned teenager who decided he wanted to start his own ghost hunting company, and the "Co" part of the name includes the two on the left, George Karim and Lucy Carlyle. They run their own 3 person company free from exploitation from adults, which other companies (run by adults) really really hate. Lockwood has a Seeing Talent, Lucy has a Hearing Talent, and George has a Touching Talent.

Basically, these 3 kids are hired for a job getting rid of a ghost, only they find out that this ghost is one of a woman who was murdered, and not of a guy who fell down the stairs like they thought. They look deeper and deeper into this murder mystery and keep uncovering shit that other ghost companies do NOT want them to be uncovering. Things that go beyond exploitation of kids, more murders, weird artifacts, things that might even explain the origins of The Problem itself. So Lockwood & Co decide they want to figure it all out, or die trying.

This show is heartwarming, it's funny, its mysterious, it's got ALL THE FOUND FAMILY VIBES and I think it's a real hidden gem in the piles of TV shows on Netflix. It's been in the top 10 shows on netflix for a bit, but I've never really heard anyone talk about it, I just stumbled upon it when looking for something to watch one day. All in all, yes, you should definitely watch it please please please do it, I swear to god of Netflix cancels this show I'm going to riot

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[mystech-master]

F/GO High School/Modern AU BS

Me and @rex101111 have been talking about a modern/HS AU ft. as many Chaldean servants as possible. Here are the ideas we came up with (I am pretty much cut and pasting our message convo, so this is a mixture of both me and Rex's ideas):

Gil is the douchbag Senior everyone hates but his dad owns the school or whatever so he can do whatever he wants. The only decent person who willingly hangs out with him is his childhood friend Enkidu who's hoping he can un-douch his bro. He has kid Gil as his little brother and Caster Gil as his older bro who both agree that he sucks (Gil is the loser middle child of the family), Caster Gil wonders what Enkidu sees in his shit head brother. "He's too good for you." "Blow it out your ass." "One day he's going to wise up, see how much of a shit you are, and when you're all alone don't come crying to me." Caster Gil is in college studying political science, Kid Gil goes to a fancy boarding school. Archer Gil goofs off and throws parties

Scathach is a swimming class teacher, mainly b/c I recall underwater training being a part of Cu's regiment under her tutelage. People were jealous of the Cus for like two seconds when they find out the swim teacher is their mom, then they see her having them do an extra twenty laps and ignoring when OG Cu starts floating in the water. "CU DIED!" "YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!" while Scathach is like "you have two seconds to stop playing around before I ACTUALLY drown you" and he's back to doing laps.

Yeah with 4-5 Cus (if you count Setanta from Arcade) that is like 5 brothers.

Nightingale as school nurse, she is friends with Asclepius who works at a hospital associated with the school (strictly professional, but the students think otherwise).

Side note, keep in mind you can have multiple servants be the same type of teacher, just for different classes/grades.

King Hassan is the old Religious History teacher. Every one thinks he's older then the rock is the school is made out of. He has a scary face and a scarier voice but most students consider him the most fair and patient teacher in the whole school. He always gets a lot of food gifts before Ramadan form the students. (A few students, such as the Guda twins and Mash, call him gramps.) The other Hassans are his grandkids, like actual grandkids. He's super strict with them because he expects a lot from them. He always praises them when they do well though. He made sure they ALL got into his class and they've been living in fear ever since. They love their grandpa but by Allah they know not to disappoint him. The only one to ever get out of anything is kid Hassan (one of the hundred face). Cursed Arm is oldest, then Asako (the main hundred face), then Serenity.

"I am very disappointed in ALL of you, have you all lost your heads? I swear I-*to kid Hassan*-ah no Habibi not you you're fine here have a candy-*back to the rest*-I KNOW you're better than this!"

VERY traditional guy, Cursed Arm mutters "Oh for God's sake" while doing a pop quiz and King Hassan looms over him and growls, "No Blaspheming In This Class Room"

For the various Artoria/Arturias, I imagined Lancer and Lancer Alter being sisters, so Saber Alter is a cousin. That leaves everyone else to just be sisters with one brother. Mother Lartoria owns a casino and gas her own yacht in reference to the summer event where she became a Ruler. If you want MHX could be a part of the family as a massive fucking Star Wars nerd. MHXX and MHX Alter are her mom and sister (so MHXX is a third sister for the two Lancer Artorias)

For Irisviel, I remember in one of the Nero Fest things that she was called Therapist Iri. Maybe she starts to get into that b/c she wants to help her adoptive son Shirou (instead of a big fire like in Zero it can be an orphanage fire thing, similar situation but a much smaller scale) , so she is the school therapist/psychiatrist. Like Maruki in P5 Royal.

Iskandar died in his 30s, Waver is around his 30s as Lord El Melloi II. The two are old college friends who still hang out and Alexander is Iskandar’s kid.

If you guys want you can see this as the two being gay dads since I know that ship is popular.

Fran had an abusive father before Babbage and Moriarty got involved. In the og story, Frankenstien has a scientific mindset like his creator, here Fran has a talent in the field, but she also hates it b/c it reminds her of him. Like imagine being talented at the thing your abusive parent was good at/known for. Moriarty tried to get it into her that SHE'S the one with the talent, not her college dropout bum of a father, "From you tell me of him Victor couldn't engineer his way out of an argument with a cat, you have a magnificent mind my dear, not letting it flourish to spite him would be a horrible waste...it's your talent, your skill. Not his." He smiles that smile she loves that scares every one but she knows he only smiles like that when he is absolutely convinced of something, "and you can out perform him without breaking a sweat."

Moriarty teaches Fran sign language while Babbage teaches her some engineering.

Jekyll is going for a major in medicine with a minor in law (in the actual irl story Dr. Jekyll was a doctor in medicine and law).

For science associated servants, you got da Vinci, Babbage, Edison, and Tesla as possible science teachers.

The Jeanne sisters. Without the Avenger BS, the reason Jalter (or Joan as one series of fics calls her) could hate her here is just inferiority complex and being compared to her perfect saint big sister all her life. Joan does have her talents, based on the summer event an, but again she doesn't acknowledge her own talent b/c of her always being compared to her older sister., in the 7 counterfeit events she is a really good artist. And it is the typical thing of Jeanne actually being scared out of her wits of being less than perfect because of all the expectations thrust on her. She gets one A- and runs to the bathroom crying and Joan has to swallow her pride and actually have a conversation with her sister for the first time in years. Jeanne Alter lily puts up Christmas decorations super early, much to Jeanne Alter/Joan's displeasure.

"IT JUST TURNED NOVEMBER CHILL TF OUT!"

"CHRISTMAS!"

Martha is Jeanne's BF since middle school and has this HUGE dog that scares everyone and growls at anyone expect Martha and Jeanne. She calls him Terry.

Rex loves Penthesilea. and we talked at length about the situation between her and Achilles. Can you not tell that he likes a woman who can kick his ass *gestures to all of his Baiken posts*

Rex's idea: I think they had a fight when they were little and Achilles, being a little shit back then, made fun of her for being a girl, and Penth has been sore about it ever since. She keeps running into big misogynistic meatheads that reminded her of that and she just got angrier over the years. She's a wrestler and can knock out just about every dude in school by herself. Achilles is very regretful about back then and wants to apologize but Penth ain't having any of it.

My idea: I thought they were on opposing HS sports teams and when Achilles handed her ass to her he forgot to drink his respect women juice and then Penth got all pissed.

In this AU, Penth and Hippolyta's dad was a general who taught them how to kick the ass of men twice their size since they were seven or something.

Penth surprises everyone when a festival comes up and she gets picked to be the one to organize everything...and does a spectacular job. Another surprise is that she plans on being a business major when she goes to college (Obligatory Amazoness CEO jokes)

Bedivere is the Arturia Pendragon family butler with a prosthetic arm. He's also the security guard, last guy that tried to steal something or cause trouble got slapped right out of the window he sneaked in from.

Francis Drake and Artoria Alter Lancer are work friends (referencing them both being associated with the Wild Hunt in F/GO's lore).

Beni-Enma is the short and shorter tempered lunch lady, last kid who mouthed off at her during lunch got smacked upside the head with her spoon. She's sweet, but if you're in detention and have to help her in the kitchen she's a mini Gorden Ramsey, "IT'S RAW DECHI!!!" She can also come into the home EC class where Shirou is her best student. Also her roasting of the other girls like in her quest. Getting Fs in Beni's class is the worst, because it isn't just an F, it's a meticulous dressing down of exactly why letting into a kitchen should be considered a war crime, dechi.

The three Avenger Nobus are three different people. 1st Ascension is basically Archer Nobu, then you got Oda Kipposhi, and then the mom is Ascension 3 with Demon King Nobunaga. The youngest Ascension 1 Nobu is a musician. Demon King Nobu is one of those "super scary but also super polite people that only makes them scarier" type, basically a female koei Nobunaga from samurai warriors (check out some cutscenes form the games with him, he's a treat).

Imagine Demon King Nobu mom in a business suit.

Suzuka Gozen and Sei Shonagon are the textaholics who always talk in slang to the point of it sounding like they speak a different language. Murasaki is the librarian but Sei is like that ONE student who just makes her job so much harder.

Every week it's "No phones in the library Miss Shonagon." while Sei rolls her eyes and types out twitter post like "fugly ol librarian at my school needs a life lol"

Oui Katsushika is a gifted art student, and her dad (not a floating little octopus), is just a normal dude with a squid/octopus like beard. She's the teacher's pet in De Vinci's art class.

Eresh and Ishtar come from a rich family, Ereshkigal is the older sister so she had a shit load of responsibility to take over the family business while Ishtar basically gets to party her life away. Rin is the cousin they each try and swing their way. Eresh wants Rin to keep up her studies and get into a good university, Ishtar wants Rin to loosen the fuck up and admit that she likes that scrawny Emiya kid already.

BB is the host of a talk show downtown so she is kind of an absentee mom. Meltryllis has prosthetic legs that she specifically asked to be made into stilts b/c she wanted to be taller, and Passonlip has a massive rack that makes life difficult (either people staring, people assuming she's gonna be a home wrecker b/c said staring must be intentional, etc.), and of course he also has prosthetic arms to match her canon claws, obviously not as massive.

Hijikata is a very serious police officer but his wife Carmilla just uses this to have fun in the bedroom. They have two Dobermans. Hijikata's route has him patrolling near the school so most of the kids know as that scary police dude that has a picture of his wife in his pocket. One day a famous Idol called Eli-chan~ (yes spelled with the ~) is about to perform in the town and the kids can't stop talking about her, so Hijikata overhears. But, being the serious dude he is he shrugs it off until he sees a picture of this "Eli-chan~" and realizes it's his sister-in-law that came to visit and suddenly the influx of parasitic paparazzi near his house start making sense.

Carmilla: "Now you see why I hate them?", Hijikata: "No you cannot send the dogs after them honey."

She almost ran one of them over in her, very expensive, car and when that reporter says she should be locked up Hijikata corrects that would only happen if she had hit him...and she would be fined. For littering.

Okita Alter being Hijikata's partner, while Okita is her younger sister who's looked up to Hijikata since she was a little kid but she has asthma and such so she's afraid she might not get accepted.

Sigurd owns a metalworks shop (referencing his myth where he was raised by the dwarf Reginn), he met his wife Brynhildr when she was disowned by her overly controlling father.

Ozymandias, Nitocris, and Cleopatra are all the high board members of a company. Nitocris specifically got wind of Scheherazade's abusive husband situation and after getting said husband arrested, she offered Scheherazade a job.

Atalanta is a college student/TA who worked with Achilles' dad who ends up at their HS for a program or something, Achilles' dad has told him a lot about her.

Amakusa Shirou is an uncle married to the CEO of Babylon Gardens Pharmaceuticals, Semiramis. Semiramis herself is kinda chill if REALLY scary. She had to be pretty cutthroat to get to her position in the company, but Amakusa Shirou helped her mellow out, but she is still a massive tsundere.

"You know you COULD poison their lunch." "Semi, dear, I'm not going to poison my coworker's sandwich for being an ass." "It wouldn't kill them! Just a bit in their peanut better and they'll be stuck on the toilet for a week, no harm no foul."

Rex initially said Taiga would be an overly enthusiastic gym teacher but then I remembered that she was a homeroom/English teacher in Fate canon, but either or can do if you wanna be unique.

For Quetzalcoatl, Wrestling club supervisor when she isn't the senior year gym teacher. Some of the male students laughed that they didn't think a woman would know anything about wrestling. Two piledrives later, the students have earned a new appreciation for the importance on how not to be two pieces of shit. She's big on Lucha as in canon and during Halloween she gets JAGUARMAN to have an exhibition fight with her. They make a show of it but later on Taiga admits that Quatz could have CRUSHED her if they were actually fighting. She takes the wrestling club out for homemade Mexican food after tournaments

For Siduri, there's a bunch of rumors she's dating Caster Gil but it's strictly professional, Caster respects her too much to consider that. Archer Gil hits on her relentlessly, she manages to wound his ego more severely then anyone else simply by being unfailingly polite in her rejections and treating him like what he is, a teenage punk jumping higher than he can handle to land.

Ibaraki is Shuten's adoptive little sister after she was taken from an abusive mother, hence why Ibaraki looks up to her. Ibuki is either Shuten's big sister who had to take on a guardian role, or just her mom. Shuten and Ibuki have a bit of a strained relationship because Shuten saw the way Ibuki acted as they grew up, taking more and more responsibilities onto herself and refusing any distractions. And she decided that her biggest nightmare is to wake up one morning and realize she's turned into Ibuki so she tries to do everything to avoid that, hence their relationship not being the best. Ibaraki is kinda stuck in the middle because she wants to side with Shuten but she sees where Ibuki is coming from. Messy.

Caren is still Kotomine’s daughter, but he isn’t a good dad and in rebellion she sleeps around despite being a woman of god. Including sleeping with local punk Angra Mainyu. Angra Mainyu seems like a bad guy but he has a shit load of issues due to being blamed for everything going wrong in his old town, eventually coming to believe them and thinking he will cause nothing but problems. Caren banging him gives him a type of closeness he’s never felt, but under very warped circumstances.

For the Tamamo family, Vitch totally fucked her way up a corporate ladder or something, imagined Tamamo Cat working at a Cat Cafe if she were a Student. Tamamo no Mae accidentally fed her prev BF a food he was allergic too, and that kind of haunted her and scared her rep. IDK basically she seriously fucked up a previous relationship, either on purpose or accidentally, and that kind of hurts her deeply so she wants to start over with Hakuno.

Nero and Tamamo no Mae are rivals over this one guy.

Kiichi Hougen is the adoptive mom, Benkei is the family friend/uncle, Taira is Ushiwaka's older sister. Taira isn't on the best of terms with her family, some drama way back caused a rift and nowadays Ushi is the only one who's willing to talk to her and visit. Benkei never lets her go alone because he doesn't trust Taira one bit. Taira and Ushiwaka are Kintoki and Tomoe's cousins (I say Tomoe b/c apparently her husband and Ushiwaka were half cousins, with their grandpa having kids with their grandmas. I tried to make a whole family tree out of a few servants).

These are the ideas we had the most to talk about, if you guys have any suggestions for your fav servants in this AU, let either me or Rex know. Or just reblog and say them here. Who knows maybe you have a much better idea for a Servant we already mentioned.

[starryseo]

phone number. | yang jeongin

pairing ↠ jeongin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just a fluffy barista au!!

wc ↠ 3229

summary ↠ jeongin likes you a latte.

warnings ↠ just jeongin being cute and in loooove. its cringey.

a/n ↠ barista!jeongin bc who doesn’t love cafe aus?

cafe glow is well-known around these parts of town bc it has such!! great!! food and drinks!

it has a real homely feel so a lot of student from the nearby schools/ unis come here

and it’s a pretty big cafe so there’s a lot of space for ppl to come in and chill, whether that be large study groups or just individuals trying to cram for upcoming tests

that homely feel?? it’s bc of all the youngsters that basically run the cafe

it’s officially owned by mr and mrs bang, but their son, chan, manages this cafe a lot since they’ve got a few other places in town to run

chan loves recruiting teens to work bc, despite their hyperactivity (esp the lot that are currently there), they’re a lot less work to deal with than grumpy adults complaining abt wages

so!!

just a few months ago, jeongin started looking around for places to work at

let’s get that bread bro

he spoke to a lot of the nearby businesses like the florist, library and pizzeria but as soon as he entered glow and saw a blond guy downing shots of black coffee as he made different drinks, he Knew he wanted to work here

he headed straight to the counter (ok ofc he waited in line first but who cares abt that)

“welcome to glow, what can i get ya?”

“hi, i was wondering if you were hiring?”

“so,” the guy - nametag reading Felix - began, leaning forwards on the counter, “you wanna join the glow gang, huh? have you got what it takes??”

maybe he should’ve thought more clearly abt this-

“felix are u creeping out kids again?? i swear this is the last time i leave you on counter duty” the black-coffee-drinking blond huffed, wiping his hands on his apron as he left the coffee machines. he nudged felix out of the way, pushing him to the machines before he turned to jeongin. “i’m sorry abt him, i don’t know why i still keep him around”

“i heard that!”

 “anyway,” the blond - nametag with Chan printed on it - grinned, “what can i get for you?”

“a job here would be great”

“you really wanna work here,,,, with that?” he pointed over to felix who looked back with a frown

“yeah, it seems pretty fun!”

“you got a cv on you?”

jeongin is a Prepared Boi. before his job hunting run he printed off multiple copies of his cv so he handed it over to chan who briefly looked over it

“when can you start working?”

“when do you need me to?”

chan let out a chuckle at that, pocketing jeongin’s cv, “swing by tomorrow at 4 and we’ll work that out, yeah?”

jeongin went home a Happy Boy and the next day at exactly 4:37 he had landed himself a sweet job at cafe glow

ever since that day a few months ago, jeongin had been learning the ins and outs of the cafe

he’s learnt all about where felix hides his ‘secret’ stash of sweets, where to kick if the machines ever go down and jisung’s ability to not stop talking

jisung’s the guy in charge of training jeongin bc chan doesn’t trust felix with another human’s life and minho, an older uni student that works here part time, is way too busy flirting with customers to get more tips those uni fees won’t pay themselves u go bby

and chan himself already has a lot to deal with since he mainly works in the kitchens

so jisung has taken jeongin under his wing and taught him how to make all drinks (despite there being a manual for this) and how to deal with the customers

and even tho jisung is only 5 months older than jeongin, he n e v e r misses an opportunity to baby the hecc out of him

“what are the different cup sizes we have?”

“uh,, small,, medium and large??”

“goSH jeonGIN you’re so smART!!!! ily!!! what cAN’T you do???”

jisung’s overdramatic as hell but he means well

and it’s always funny when jeongin teams up with felix (still a pretty rare occassion) to prank jisung

one day jeongin had a test after school so he couldn’t come by

and ofc he let chan know this in advance but he and felix decided not to tell jisung

jisung was waiting around for jeongin to come and he literally almost started crying when felix told him an hour later that jeongin wasn’t gonna come

“,,m,y bab y ? jeonginnie??? wh at do u me an,, he won’t com,e??? felix you a s s don’t l i e to m,e,, :((((”

they even got minho to record the whole thing not for free ofc, and minho’s services are n o t cheap, but it was totally worth it

felix screenshot jisung’s crying face and it’s now the display picture of their glow gang group chat

which btw never shuts up bc: during the day (and work hours) felix, jisung and jeongin will be spamming it, during the evening minho will complain abt all the uni work he’s got to do, after dinner time the youngsters are back on it sending memes until like 2am, and then by 4am chan finally gets on and complains abt the boys killing his storage with their dumb memes & he gives any updates abt the next day’s schedule if need be

it’s a great system, hella wild and random, but jeongin loves it nonetheless

now for the part where u, dear reader, come in!!

it’s just an ordinary day, a bit quieter than usual but jeongin’s not complaining bc it gives him time to finish off some of his hw while he’s at the till

he looks up when the door chime rings and

(°ロ°) ! 

he’s vvv obviously staring at u as u walk in, his pen drops on the counter and his mouth is :0

damn yn you’ve broken jeongin

but does he care???

yes

is he stopping?????

also yes but you’ve already seen his dumbstruck face and he realises he was caught just staring at u when u walk up to him with a shy smile on your face

he doesn’t know what’s come over him

and he doesn’t mean to be some typical teenage boi straight out of a high school drama

but u just look so pretty he couldn’t help but?? go heart eyes??

he’s trying not to lose his cool when u finally reach the counter

“hi!” he grins, “welcome to cafe glow, what can i get for you?”

you order your drink and watch as jeongin types away at the computer

he’s rlly hoping the screen blocks his blush bc he’s still (´♡‿♡`)’ing and he’s pretty sure he can feel his blush at this point

“is there anything else i can get you?”

your number

he finds your thinking face so cute!! the way u bite ur lip a little as your eyes glaze over the sweet treats they have on display

he d i e s when u look back up at him and ask, “anything you’d recommend?”

he keeps his cool as he says some of his fave desserts, and you choose the cheesecake

“alright! will you be eating in or is that to-glow go”

his heart swells when u laugh at his pun but he’s highkey dYinG inside bc he wants u to stay for just a little longer

he almost cries when u say you’re eating in bc !!! yes!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! maybe he could try talking to you!!!!!

“sweet! take a seat anywhere, your food will be made shortly!”

when u go to pay for ur food he’s internally hating felix bc he swears all these mushy feelings he’s experiencing are bc felix made him watch back-to-back romance films

he’s taken money from a lot of customers but he’s never, n e v e r, wanted to just hold their hand and he’s honestly so close to just never letting go of yours rn but he mentally slaps himself

pull it together jeongin u dumbass

when u tell him to keep the change he’s just

s i g h can u get any more perfect

he yeets felix out of the way from the coffee machines and towards the till

“role change, i’m bored!”

“but chan banned me from the tills, he’s gonna kill me!”

“i’ll get jisung on you”

“uGHhgHGHghhhhh”

he’s halfway thru making ur drink when minho sliiiides next to him and slings an arm around his shoulders

“so, innie, who’s the cutie you’re serving?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

from his short time working here he knows that minho is in love with any kind of gossip and there’s no point in lying to him

esp not with this massive blush on jeongin’s face that’S STILL thERe bc jeongin peeked over and saw you taking out textbooks which means you’re gonna stay here for lo n g er than he thought

and he’s got this huge grin on his face :D

and no one’s ever that happy making coffee

esp not when felix is right next to them singing along to the twice song playing in the cafe

god knows who put felix in charge of the cafe playlist

an y w ay

“does our baby innie have a,,, crushhh on a certain someone???”

“noooooookay maybe? idk i just met them!!”

“:0!!!! our baby’s iN LOVE!!!”

minho said that so loudly!!! jeongin peered over minho’s shoulder and saw that y o u had looked up at the exclamation and he let out a sheepish laugh to try and make the scene look normal

u just grinned at him and he almost swooned

minho’s shouting alerted jisung who deadass ran from the other side of the cafe

jisung, out of breath: wh-what do u mean,, in love,,,??? you’re too young for that ://

even chan popped out from the kitchen. “jeongin loves someone?? how cute, who is it- felix, what the hell are u doing there, didn’t i ban u from the tills??”

“blame loverboy!”

“gUYsss :((( let me wORk!!”

“u do u, innie, go get ‘em tiger!” minho said, smirking as he took a step back

the other boys stayed quiet as well, chan filling up the front display with the baked goods he freshly made

jeongin quietly got to finishing off ur drink and grabbed a cheesecake slice to carry over to you

“h-hey,” he started, placing the plate and drink beside your textbook, “sorry it took so long,,,”

“that’s alright,” you smiled and all his worries literally washed away, “was everything okay back there?”

“yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly, “minho’s just easily excited and nosy, a terrible combination really”

u laughed at that and he grinned, his nerves easing away

“u guys seem really close,” when he saw u quickly look over to the counters he turned as well, just in time to see all four of them rush to try and act natural (altho jisung just dropped to the ground so he’s really a lost cause)

“they’re really crazy, but they do mean well,” he grinned, “except felix, avoid him at all costs”

“i’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled when jeongin pointed out who felix was and felix just glared back at him, as tho he knew jeongin was talking shit abt him

“well,” he started, realising he should go bc a big group of customers had just entered, “i’ll leave u to it, i hope u enjoy ur food. let me know if u need anything else!”

he headed back to the counter, a HUGE grin on his face, he’s so glad his back is to u bc he’d be so embarassed if u saw

it’s bad enough minho saw and is non-stop teasing him abt it now

throughout his shift minho was just taunting him, cooing “innie’s in love~”

as he was dealing with other customers and running around the cafe, he’d make quick eye contact with u and each time he did, u let out the softest smiles, he’s pretty sure he’s never smiled this much

abt an hour later when the rush had died down, jeongin looked over to see that!!! u were still there!!!!!

he fixed up a quick mango smoothie, smth he always found super refreshing, and headed over to your table

“h-hey?” he tapped your shoulder when he noticed u had your headphones in

“oh, hey! i, uh, i didn’t order this?”

“yeah, it’s,, it’s on the house, thought you might need a pick-me-up, you’ve been working rly hard”

“ahh thank you!!!” u grinned at him so cutely, “would u like to sit down?”

he nodded too enthusiastically but he hopes u didn’t pick up on that ((u did)) as he sat down opposite you

for the next 30 mins? hour?? neither of u know

u guys just talked

he’s thanking god that there was no rush in customers bc he enjoyed spending time just talking to u

the conversation seemed to flow so?? naturally???

he found out ur name and that u go to a nearby school sadly not the same one as him

and u were taking the scenic route home instead of ur normal walking path or using the bus which is why he’d never seen u before

he’s so glad that fate brought u here today tho!!!! eternally grateful that u made that wise choice!!!

when ur phone buzzed with a message from ur family he finally realised that it was getting late

he watched almost in tears as u packed ur stuff up, thanking him for the drinks and snacks that he definitely didn’t steal from felix’s hidden stash

he went back to the counter, stars in his eyes as he leaned against the counter, opposite minho who was chilling by the till

“so, how’d it go? did u get their number??”

jeongin: (❤ω❤) 

jeongin, 0.02 secs later: ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

felix, jumping in: “pls don’t tell me u spent all that time,,,,, and u didn’t get their number-”

minho: “loverboi was too busy making moves, eh?”

jeongin’s mood instantly dropped and he was so close to just headbutting the counter then and there

what if u never come back????

what if u came back when he wasn’t there?????

what if you’re on ur way here but then u see another cafe and u go there instead and fall in love with a barista there???????

jeongin’s 2 seconds away from pouting for all eternity when chan comes over and pats him on the back, “i’m sure they’ll come back!”

jeongin’s praying the old man’s right

and he is!!!!!!! cliche ik

u didn’t come back the next day which broke jeongin’s heart and he was honestly so close to losing all hope bc he’s incredibly dramatic like that

but u come back the day after!!!

jeongin’s wiping down a table when u enter and u spot him instantly and wave

he waves back but the cloth he’s holding slips from his hand onto the ground

and he rushes to pick it up but hits his head on the table when he tries standing up again

and he’s in so much pain but he just nervously laughs it away esp when he sees ur half worried, half trying-not-to-laugh-aloud face

when he sees u walking to him -- not the counter -- he’s counting to 100 in 3 seconds to try and calm himself down to not look like even more of a fool

“is the table okay?”

“yeah, i’m alri- hey, rude!” he pouts, faking a sniffle and rubbing his head

“i’m kidding, jeongin” (he had to bite his lip to not squEAL when u said his name) “are you okay? that looked painful :((”

“i’ll live,” he fake sobbed, rubbing away imaginary tears with the cloth in his hand before he realised what he’d just done and dropped it on the table in disgust (he highkey dieddd when u laughed at him again) “ew, i’m sorry you had to see all this”

“it’s fine,” you grinned, scrunching ur nose when u saw the wet smears on his face, “but u got a lil smth there” u pointed to ur own cheek

jeongin wanted to CRY

he knows he’s a cute boi (he uses this to his advantage whenever he can)

but rn??

he knows he looks like the epitome of a grade A DumbassTM

he just let out the longest s i g h

“i’ll be right back!”

he rushed off to the back and sorted himself out (and quickly iced his head)

he came back out to see u sitting down at the same table as last time

as soon as he came thru the doors u looked up and held out thumb, an eyebrow raised

and he reciprocated the gesture, telling u he’s all okay now!

he found it so cute that u cared!!! his heart: on fire!!

felix walked right to him, pulling him along to the coffee machines as he told him ur order

“u owe me one now loverboi!”

jeongin prepped ur food and took it to u like last time

but this time u initiated the conversation

“felix isn’t all that bad, y’know?” you said, holding onto your hot drink as it warmed ur hands up

“for now,” jeongin started, “trust me, if u ever have the misfortune of seeing him act cute, you’ll regret ever saying that.”

your nose scrunched as you imagined that -- jeongin gasped when he saw and then prayed you didn’t see that -- before you let out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard, “yeah, i can’t imagine that looking nice”

you two talked for a bit more until jeongin had to get back to the counter and take orders

he popped up at your table when he could, offering felix’s sweets and a refill

“do you treat all your customers like this? free drinks isn’t good for business, y’know?”

he went bright red at your teasing bc “nope, you’re special!” -- his eyes went w i d e when he said that and, if it was possible, his cheeks went redder -- but god, was it worth it bc your eyes sparkled and your blooming blush was so pretty he was starstruck

he cleared his throat, let out the most nervous chuckle ever, put the lemonade on your table before diving behind the counter

he could practically hear minho’s smirk from all the way over here

great.

it took a little while longer for him to psych himself up to go over to you again after that disaster

but seeing you pack up your bag made him forget everything and run up to you

“hey, you’re done already?” he asked, pouting as you put your last book away

“yeah, i’ve gotta help make dinner soon,” you replied, fixing your bag over your shoulder, “thanks for the drink, it was great!”

“y-yeah, no problem!” you loved his drink!! score!!!! “come again soon, yeah?”

“definitely,” you winked -- you winked, god his heart was weak -- before waving and taking your leave

felix slid up next to him, throwing his arm around jeongin’s shoulders

“pls tell me you got their number this time”

shit.

the top gif is jeongin’s face right now

[ectoplasmicbutton]

Ghostly Mysteries- Chapter 2

For the most part, Danny knows when someone is suspicious of him.

It comes with the job, sure, but sometimes he can understand what other people in the room are feeling. He confided this to his friends once, and they believed it was a new power. They dubbed it “Empathy” and tested it out on a few hormonal teens. Together, they discovered that Danny has the ability to feel others emotions.

Its partially disturbing, because sometimes it takes a moment for him to realize that the emotions he is feeling are someone else’s, not his own.

But, like most of his other powers, his friends had been right at his side, helping him to learn how to control and make the most of his new ability. Now, he can single out a specific persons emotions and know—for the most part— that they’re not his.

But, suspicion had been an emotion that he’s taught himself to look out for. He felt it occasionally during high school drama, during couples he’s walked past on the street, hell-even when one of his parents machines goes off on him does he feel a flicker of suspicion from them.

Needless to say, he knows suspicion when he feels it, and this Dipper kid is no exception.

But right now, he had more things he needed to worry about. Like how to get home, if his friends are okay, if Wulf was okay, if this was even his own dimension!

‘Deep breath, Fenton’, Danny thought to himself, ‘Focus on one thing at a time. I need to find Wulf, if he’s not being hunted by Walker as we speak...’

With a movement no one really expected, Danny sat up.

Danny regretted sitting up.

His wound roared in agony and he let out a pained gasp, but he fought on. It would be healed is maybe a few hours anyway, so it’s probably fine, right?

That is, until he felt multiple pairs of arms try to stop him from walking.

“I need to go,” Danny managed to grunt out through the pain, “I have to...”

“Okay, dude, chill,” The redhead-Wendy- spoke up, “You need rest with a cut that nasty, especially with how deep it is. You can stay here til’ you’re better.”

Danny sighed, knowing there was nothing to be done until everyone was out of the room.

“Hey, you two,” She turned on the twins, “did you call an ambulance at all?”

There was a moment of silence before Mabel face-palmed. “This is it, bro-bro,” she cried dramatically, “We’re devolving.”

“Mabel, we’re not devolving.” Her brother only partly comforted his twin, “I had thought of it before deciding against it.”

“Oh! Can I ask why..?” Wendy gave Danny a few more pillows for him to be comfortable. With them, he was able to sit up against a cabinet to observe the conversation through slightly hazy eyes.

“I thought it was like...” Dipper’s eyes flashed over to Danny, hitting him with another wave of suspicion, “...a thing.”

“A thing?” Mabel asked.”

“A thing.”

“A thing...” the twin raked her brain, “OH-a thing!” She smiled, winked, and did finger guns at Dipper

Dipper smiled at her understanding, “Exactly. Thank you Mabel.”

Danny squinted at the odd interaction.

“Okayy,” Wendy shrugged and decided to move on, “hey, do you have anyone we can contact to let them know you’re alright?”

Danny hesitated, “Um...yes...? Would it be alright if I tried to call them myself?”

Wendy smiled and nodded, “Of course! Do you want us to stay in the room or-?”

“I would like to be alone, please.” His response was immediate.

“Alright, you heard ‘em kids. Everyone out. You too, Soos. Don’t think I forgot about you-you may be quiet but you’re not invisible.”

After four people had cleared out, Danny was alone in the room.

Digging around in his pocket, he pulled out an old, cracked iPhone. He frowned at the multiple missed calls and texts from his parents, his sister, his friends, even Vlad had sent a few.

He decided to try Jazz first. If theres no signal, he can always try his Fenton Phone.

He really wasn’t expecting it to work. He really wasn’t, so imagine his surprise when on the first ring, Jazz picked up.

“Danny-?!”

“Hey Jazz...”

“Oh my god, Danny! Where are you! We’ve been searching everywhere! God-I’ve been so worried! Are you alright? What happened? Why-“

“Jazz-I’m okay. I’m fine. Well, for the most part. Things got a bit sticky with Wulf and Walker and I’m in Oregon right now. I’m coming home as soon as I get the chance, believe me.”

“God, I just- You’ve been gone for *two days*, Danny. Not a word, not a call, not a note, you just vanished! Sam and Tucker had no idea what happened, we spent *hours* looking in the Ghost Zone for you...”

“I..” Danny bit his lip. He couldn’t keep doing this to his friends and family, it wasn’t fair to them, “I’m sorry, Jazz. I’m so sorry... When I get back I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to you guys, you don’t deserve this.”

“Danny it’s just..” he could imagine her running a hand through her hair, and he could *feel* her stress through the phone, “..a lot. Where are you in Oregon? I’m coming to get you.”

“No! No, I can’t leave yet. I need to find Wulf and make sure he’s safe from Walker. I promise, I’ll come back as soon as I’m done. Don’t worry about me, alright? I’m fine. I’ll be back soon, please tell everyone not to worry. I’m so sorry, Jazz.”

“Danny, you can’t just call and expect us not to come get you! You’ve been gone for two days Danny-“

“I know- and I swear I’ll come right back when I’m done, but Wulf *needs* me right now, Jazz. He’s in trouble, and who am I if I can’t help someone from a couple of ghosts?”

A moment a silence passed between the siblings before Jazz sighed, “...alright. I don’t like it, I doubt Sam and Tucker will either, but I’ll try my best to cover for you until you get home.”

Danny let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Jazz, you have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, little bro. Please-stay safe. I love you.”

“Ew Jazz! Gross!”

But even through that response, she knew he loved her too.

A few words later, they both hung up.

Danny sighed, holding his head in his hand and debating if he wanted to call Sam and Tucker, when the door opened again. Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel walk through.

“Hey! So? How’d it go?” Wendy asked, sitting down by the register and putting her feet up.

Danny shook his head, “I’m.. gonna have to stay in Gravity Falls for a while.” He didn’t go on to explain why that was so, but Mabel didn’t miss a beat.

“You can stay here!” The twin cut in, flashing her braces, “Theres a couch in the other room you can use! Plus, I’m pretty sure Grunkle Stan wouldn’t mind!”

Danny frowned, “Are you sure? I don’t wanna intrude...”

Before Danny could say anymore, Mabel opened her (apparently very large) mouth and yelled, “GRUNKLE STAN!! A CUTE BOY IS STAYIN’ OVER FOR A FEW NIGHTS IS THAT ALRIGHT WITH YOU?”

A distant voice responded through the walls, “He got any money?”

Mabel pursed her lips, eyed Danny, then (without asking if he had any money), yelled back just as loud, “uhh...YEAH DUH?”

“Alright!” the voice responded, “He can stay!”

“Okay, you can stay, Danny!” Mabel grinned at him, unaware of his ringing ears. Silently, he cursed his advanced senses.

“Thank you.”

—————————

end chapt. 2

[the-redcrate]

2017 Teen Wolf Mix-Bag Rec List

Hey, ya’ll. I decided to list off 8 of my favorite fics from the Teen Wolf fandom posted/completed in 2017. All pairings and ratings are listed. As always, check the tags before you decide to read the fic.

Derek Hale/Chris Argent: 

Anchor by thegeminisage | rated E | complete | 55k

Derek insists on coming along with Chris Argent and the Calaveras on the hunt for Kate, so he can see her dead for good. While following her trail back to Beacon Hills, they come to understand some hard truths about both each other and themselves, and struggle to find the reason why, after losing nearly everyone they've ever loved, they're still here.

Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Ready for Those Flashing Lights by rightsidethrough | rated T | complete | 5k

Being a college student is hard, especially when you have a more obscure major (if only because the price of your textbooks seem to be geared to how many times you can break down and sob hopelessly while in the campus bookstore).

So when Stiles is given the chance to make some quick money, well... he'd be an idiot not to take it, right?

All he has to do is stand there and look pretty and let the photographer do his job.

...oh, God. Stiles has made a Horrible Life Decision.

Glass Slipper by Green | rated G | complete | 997 words

Peter meets Stiles and is smitten. Stiles has to leave - but leaves his phone behind.

Littlered and Alpha5 by Triangulum | rated E | complete | 9k

Stiles could say that he's a grower not a shower, but that would be a lie. On a good day, fully erect, he's three inches long. Okay, two-and-a-half. Whatever, it works for him. It's what got him into camming in the first place. There's a very specific clientele out there that's looking for exactly what Stiles has. The lithe, gay guy with a small dick is a very niche market and Stiles has managed to carve out his own place in it. The fact that he's a virgin only helps.

Or

Stiles is a camboy and Peter is his best client.

Show Me by Twisted_Mind | rated E | complete | 3.8k

 Peter smirks, and yep, yes, that is in fact an eyebrow piercing, which not only increases the sass—which should not be possible, that’s gotta break at least three laws of physics—but is also outrageously hot. “Nothing important.”

 And then Peter turns to head into the study, where they’ve been translating the bestiary, and he catches sight of the bar running through the cartilage of Peter’s right ear. His dick twitches and begins to fill, because hello, heretofore-unknown kink.

 Peter, of course, notices. And says something, because he’s rude like that. “Why, Stiles,” he purrs, turning around. “See something you like?”

Theo Raeken/Liam Dunbar

in the valley of your heart by crownedcarl | rated M | complete | 6k

Theo dreams that his hand is being held in a soft, warm grip. For a split-second, he could almost swear it’s the realest thing he’s ever felt, but then the darkness drags him under again, back down to the depths.

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

All of me uncharted by ANTchan | rated E | complete | 13k

I have this fantasy.

And maybe it's Stiles' favorite one. And maybe it's been buzzing under his skin for the longest time. So he makes a post about it. There’s nothing shameful about that. That's what blogs like this are for. He expects most of the responses he gets - the supporters, the enthusiasts, the creeps.

But the simple message: Would you trust me to give you that?

After that, all bets are off.

Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Disabling an Ultimatum by TriDom | rated E | complete | 8k

Chris can't tell Stiles no. Maybe it's not that he can't tell him no, but he doesn't want to. Call him old fashioned, but he believes if you love someone you should let them do what they love, regardless if you like it or not. It's not always easy to do, but he isn't a hypocrite.

Meaning that when Stiles is ready to get back on a motorcycle after a bad accident, he knows it not his place to do anything, but support him.

He can't help it that Peter doesn't feel the same way.

BONUS RPF

Dylan O’brien/Tyler Hoechlin

It Took Us Till Today to Get Here by turningterrific | rated E | complete | 27k

Dylan hears the cackling laughter behind him and slams his laptop shut.

“Too late,” Julia says as she flops down on the couch next to him. “I already saw.” She grabs the remote away from him while he’s distracted and changes the channel from the Mets game to something else unworthy and unMets-like.

“You saw nothing,” Dylan sniffs and pretends to care a lot about the text that vibrates his phone.

She laughs again. “I saw you looking at Hoechlin Superman pictures. Again.” Her grin is huge and Cheshire cat-like.

“I keep up on show business news,” Dylan says, unsure why he’s attempting to even pretend like she’s wrong. “He’s my bro. He’s Superman. It’s a thing.”

Julia nods. “It’s definitely a thing.” She smirks at him and flips through the channels like she has to see them all in under a minute. “Hoechlin looks good enough in that suit to turn a gay girl straight and a straight boy gay.”

or

Dylan visits Tyler, they go to a lake, they eat and watch TV and Dylan pines. Oh, god the pining.

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[saawek]

(Don't answer this yet) --we are now in the future where your brother have already seen 12.12 or the mixtape episode-- Tell us what he thought about it!!!!!

Today in “The adventures of my Bro the Casual Viewer”

GUESS WHAT ANON FROM MONTHS AGO, WE ARE IN THE FUTURE NOW! 

first post about that here and here and here / tagging @tinkdw @casanddeanwinchester @chibi-lie @captainhaterade @eriquin @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse

It’s very long so blah blah about s12 and destiels feels and nonsense under the cut!

/!\ ATTENTION PLEASE/!\ Before anything I think it’s very useful to remind everyone that :

my brother and I aren’t living together anymore so I can’t actually influence him that much since we watch the episodes separately. 

His experience is much “i watch the episode then I forget about the show until the next episode” CASUAL VIEWER 

He also doesn’t have the fucking heteronormative goggles since his sister is a raging pansexual and his father is remarried to a man and grew up in an homophobic family.  

And his fav character are Gabriel, Crowley, Lucifer (s4 - s5) and dorky Castiel sometimes. He wants to punch the brothers usually (Castiel too but less) and just want the funny episodes. SO NOT A SHIPPER AND NOT A TFW LOVER 

this is for fun lol #laugh >.>

NOW Today in “The adventures of my Bro the Casual Viewer” 

OVERALL ON THE SHOW : he’s more interested in the plot than in the characters really. And he wants it to be clear. He’s watching to have a good time and take a break, all the character studies are useless for him. 

Let’s do it ! S12 : 

Below only his words, mine are between ( )

12x07 rock never dies : wtf lucifer, are you a fucking 2yo throwing a temper tantrum bcse daddy isn’t home to give you candy? You remember the time when he was a good character? Because, i don’t. [about the brothers] nice the leather jacket! 

“lumberjack pffff good one”.

aw Dean left his wife and his mistress at the door *irony intensifies* Cas is not the fav anymore lol (yes he saw the drowley too and was kinda “i’ll do as if i didn’t see it, thank you bye”)

Mid Season Break. Guess what ! CAS WILL BE ALL SAD AND CRYING BECAUSE HIS HUMANS ARE GONE HA HA HA (i told you he doesn’t care about the characters!)

12x09 : AAAAW He get out of prison and call his boiyfriend first thing, THAT’S SO CUTE URGH *vomitting noises* And damn, I’m not like that after so much weeks not shaving. Tss

12x10 : SUBTLETY IS FOR THE WEAK. Lol but srsly guys, the fucking seat. They should push more it will be an orgy. You weird people must have had ideas with the three of them no? But looks more like Sam is playing gooseberry again. You must relate no, Saawek? (okay i won’t explain to him what wincestiel is and yes he was so disgustingly in love with my best friend/first girlfriend I srsly relate with Sam on this one) Dean should just sit on Cas’ lap if he wants the dick so bad. (omg i died)

And angels are stupid. If humans die when nephilim is born WHY ARE THEY HUNTING THIS HUMAN FOR HAVING HAD A NEPHILIM BABY. stupid stupid stupid

Dean making silent treatment to Cas : “Even my GF doesn’t do that.”

him when the silent treatment was going on

12x11 : A TRUE SPN EPISODE AT LAST (meaning one where there is no complicated plot, no mary, and just funny and tragic shenanigans.)

12x12 (at last!) GOD this one is really cool! Cas is hurt, poor chap, he’s really got no luck recently hm. Ugh disgusting black goo. Mary is still not dead yet? tss. 

I love you, lol. NO HOMO THOUGH. tsss. *irony intensifies*

We are Family, lol, i don’t do half he does for family. (elnawen if you read this I SWEAR DON’T DO THE JOKE)

Wait. Pause on the arrows in the cave… are these heart shaped arrows, like  cupids arrows? In the ‘i love you episode’? (yes it’s the “ILY episode” in his mind, the name or the number don’t matter) God it’s some hardcore queerbaiting. 

(otherwise the i love wasn’t groundbreaking because “we know dean and cas love each other duh”, it also almost went unnoticed because of the action with yellow eye dude. But the arrows were not, which baffles me.) 

12x13 : CROWLEY AND ROWENA, YES. (which was yes until) Why always women and rape *sighs* It was good though, I miss good Crowley.

12x14-15-16-17-18 : (not much to say except a deep hate for how Crowley is acting this season. And Lucifer is boring) “Lucifer’s arc has gone from “i wanna do whatever i want” to “i want a baby” too fucking fast. I don’t care. BMoL are boring. This season is only here to prepare the next big bad.”  Crowley is so stupid this season, he’s useless.

12x19 : When Cas left with the Nephilim : “I GUESS DEAN HAS JUST BEEN DUMPED, HA HA HA, too bad”

The Mixxtape of doom : “………………..okay it’s cute. Dad used to do that for Mom.” (he would even record vhs with her fav movie moment. I’m waiting for dean to do that now)

actual footage of him “raiiiiinboooow”

12x20 : Max/Alicia parallels : dude, it’s not even subtle anymore. (What do you think of the gay dude?) Parallels with the bro, Dean gay or bi (he tries to make the difference) blah blah. NOT SUBTLE.

at this point he’d randomly shout “gaaaaay” every time he saw max or dean lol

12x21 : Eileen died : “Aw Sam… no luck! too bad for you. No GF this season! Ha ha ha. Just like your brother he he” (yes he has no emotional attachment for characters BUT he does a cas/eileen parallel without being prompted on it, i’m so proud) 

And Mary dies too? No? Not yet? Tss. (he doesn’t hate mary, he just doesn’t care if character is not Gabe/Crowley or Cas)

God what was the thing with lucifer at the end? even the subtitles were saying “wtf”, I am saying wtf. WHAT THE FUCK? It’s like the Gondor has lit the fires or what. It’s almost as bad as the ice effect in the ‘The Flash’ episode!! Its like a looney tunes episode! OR AN ADD FOR VIAGRA OMG (he then tried to make me apply for a fx job for spn)

12x22 : Oh cool it’s nice. Surprised Mary’s not dead yet. Fake Angel Brainwasher Lady is though cool! (ps he means the fake naomi aka Toni, he’s not good with names of secondary characters / BUT cas/mary parallels spot on unconsciously!) good episode, good action, not boring. Aw cute hug. Just a Cas and everything is perfect. (i swooned, btw you can find it here)

12x23 : I HATE IT. for Crowley mainly, (Rowena has been totes forgotten lol) Cas is dead but he’ll come back. (at this point we agreed it wasn’t possible bcse financial reasons) I want to know why he’s dead though bcse he’s dead for a reason and i want to know what. I LOVE IT (we share the same opinion)

More general things to say :

He thinks destiel is just to dudes (jensen and misha) playing gay on screen for funsies and fan found that awesome and wanted to have lgbt representation . It got out of hand and now the show is doing it on purpose. Queerbaiting or eventual endgame, though? He doesn’t know and doesn’t care. 

His words “Destiel can become canon I don’t give a shit. They kiss it’s okay, now next episode, I want to see the plot”.

But in conclusion my bro watch spn with other dudes who watch like once a month when they don’t miss the episode, and they kinda all see the “not gay dude who is gay for the angel dude”. They just don’t care.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND IT’S ONLY FOR FUN. And I’m not preaching destiel is canon because it would be twisting my brother’s words. I’m just having a good time sharing all the little things that might make us laugh :)

(psst destiel does exist)

[shaylasucks]

Get to know me meme

Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as you want

tagged by @mitchkat1 (omg i have been on this site for two years and this is the first time someone has ever mentioned me in a post)

1. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi. Duh. 

2. Disney or DreamWorks? I don’t even know the difference. The companies just sort of meld together

3. Coffee or tea? Tbh neither. I’m a milk kind of gal.

4. Books or movies? Books because they leave for room for visualizing character differently and that leaves more room for creativity and shit

5. Windows or mac? idk im using windows, i dont own a mac

6. D.C. or Marvel? I love them both, but I’m gonna have to say DC. The acting is worse, but the plots and character depth is better.

7. Xbox or PlayStation? I’ve only ever owned an Xbox 360 on which I always play TWD, Halo 3, or GTA 4. Occasionally FIFA 16 if im feeling rebellious.

8. Dragon age or mass effect? what to the who now

9. Night owl or early riser? whats a morning again. yeah night owl.

10. Cards or chess? ummmm cards because i always lose chess. im not patient enough

11. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate for sure my dude

12. Vans or converse? NEW BALANCE ALWAYS AND FOREVER BABY

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? what

14. Fluff or angst? no comment

15. Beach or forest? neither. i hate the water and sand, but i also hate bugs and plants and shit.

16. Dogs or cats? dOGGERS

17. Clear skies or rain? rain smells better, but i get depressed so idk??

18. Cooking or eating out? eating whom?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nah im kidding. eating out even though i always get sick.

19. Spicy or mild food? i would say that i love spicy food, but really just White People spicy food. so mildly spicy.

20. Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? halloween > chanukkah

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? too cold. 

22. If you could have a superpower what would it be? mIND CONTROL CAN I GET A “HELL YEA”

23. Animation or live action? animation of course.

24. Paragon or renegade? what

25. Bath or shower? a shower and THEN a bath and i watch TV is a 10/10 spa day.

26. Team Cap or team Ironman? I haven’t gotten around to watching Civil War ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but team cap b/c he is so Pure

27. Fantasy or sci-fi? dont make me choose

28. Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they?

do most people have, like, every day quotes???

29. YouTube or Netflix? netflix, even though they removed Doctor Who @netflix smh

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? perry johnson

31. When do you feel accomplished? when i do something independently and it isnt disastrous 

32. Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Wars

33. Paperback books or hardcover books? hardcover

34. Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? no spoilers im in the middle of the Cursed CHild and havent watch fantasti beatststs yet

35. Rock or pop music? rock. i have a burning hatred for pop.

36. What is the most important thing in your life? other peoples approval of me

37. Mountains or sea/ocean? my bedroom. im scared of heights AND swimming.

38. How do you express yourself? drawing cartoons, and using words which sounds stupid but i talk a lot

39. What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? The Magic Treehouse was the first book i read on my own for fun, and got me into reading. thank you mary pope os-something.

40. What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? my element is this bad boy

41. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? heaven. 

42. If you had any job in the world, what would it be? an accomplished artist or voice actor or author 

43. (eyy im making up a question): any funny stories to tell?:

once when i was in maine with my friend, we were hunting for toads in the middle of the night and a squirrel climbed up her leg and then started chewing on her, and then more started coming (like six, they were going to kill us i swear to god) and then she kicked her leg and it went fucking F L Y I NG and it just went off in the distance and we were all screaming and it was amazing and horrible all at once

uhh so im supposed to tag people to do it?? idk anyone i dont have any bros on this website so here are some names @keith-and-lance-do-cool-things @omgpieplease @badpjoideas

[moviessilently]

Stage star Lenore Ulric brings her signature role to the screen in this melodrama set in Canada. We have Mounties, trees and bloody revenge. The usual Hollywood Canadian wilderness picture, in other words, but we have the added bonus of a super Mountie and a location shoot in Yosemite.

Home Media Availability: Released on DVD.

This is my contribution to the O Canada Blogathon hosted by Silver Screenings and Speakeasy. Be sure to read all the other reviews!

Go get ‘em, tiger!

I do love Mountie flicks and I know I’m not alone. What’s not to love about noble gents in great hands tracking down evildoers? Unfortunately, the quality of Mountie pictures can be described as spotty at best. For every piece of quality entertainment, we have a few bombs. For example, Nomads of the North features Lon Chaney as a sexy fur trapper. Really. Where the North Holds Sway is essentially a western with more flannel. See what I mean? Well, let’s see if this picture will make up for the bad ones.

Will Forrest Stanley’s Mountie win us over?

Tiger Rose is an adaptation of a 1917 stage play written by Willard Mack (you can read a public domain copy here) and produced by the famed David Belasco, who had quite a number of western and wilderness pictures in his repertoire. Warner Bros. scored a casting coup when they obtained the services of Lenore Ulric, who had created the role of Rose on the stage and had not been seen in movies in six years. The film was subsequently remade as both a silent and a talkie as a 1929 Lupe Velez vehicle but, alas, the remake is not on home video.

(I should note that the version of the film I saw runs for just one hour. Tiger Rose as originally released ran for eight reels, which would be eighty minutes at minimum and likely far longer. The storyline is smooth and I did not notice any particularly large holes in the plot.)

The things you find when you go fishing.

The film opens in a quiet Canadian trading community that bears a shocking resemblance to Yosemite. (Mainly because the exteriors were shot there. Whodathunkit?) Sergeant Michael Devlin (four-time Marion Davies leading man Forrest Stanley) is a Mountie’s Mountie and he comes riding hell for leather into town. He has fished a half-drowned woman (Lenore Ulric) out of Loon River and turns her over to the kind locals for some first aid.

We know that this young woman has been through a lot because she looks like this:

I wish I could look that good after almost drowning.

Yipes! When they say “waterproof” on the mascara bottle, they mean it! And who made her hairspray? Color me impressed.

Devlin tells the story of his brave rescue in flashback and it strikes me that this would have been a far more impressive opening scene for the film than shots of the great outdoors. Devlin races on horseback to catch up with the woman in the water—she’s caught in a current heading for a waterfall because this is a melodrama—and then he dismounts and throws himself off a cliff into the river below. That is some grade A stunt work and it’s a pity that the suspense is spoiled by using the flashback structure.

Now THAT is what I call an epic rescue.

Anyway, the young woman is named Rose and she likes to hunt and swear in the most adorable way possible. Devlin is interested but Rose falls for Bruce Norton (Theodore von Eltz), a dashing engineer. (Not there are two words I never thought I would type in the same sentence.) It’s love at first sight but Bruce is on a mission: he has tracked down a nefarious bad guy-type and he means to kill him for the sake of someone called “Helen.” There’s a suitably violent struggle for a pistol and Bruce ends up shooting his target, one of the local doctors.

When confronting one’s arch-nemesis, one would think one would be on the lookout for hidden weapons.

Another local doctor (this town is flush with ‘em, it seems) examines the body and delivers a mysterious proclamation. It seems that everyone in this picture has decided to become Lemony Snicket. The second doctor is played by Sam De Grasse, noted villain of Fairbanks flicks, and he sets out to help Bruce… or does he?

Devlin receives news of the murder and springs into action. He takes his trusty rifle and is able to wing Bruce lickety-split. Bruce is in a pickle as a storm is coming in and Devlin’s posse has the area surrounded. He takes refuge in Rose’s cellar, where she and the doc discover him a bit later. But Devlin hasn’t given up the chase and it’s going to take a very clever plan to evade our unstoppable Mountie.

Bruce learns that Devlin plays for keeps.

Will Bruce get away? Do we really want him to get away? I mean, that Devlin guy is pretty cool. In any case, find out in Tiger Rose!

Lenore Ulric does well overall but her Broadway experience causes her to play things in a broad way. (Get it? Get it?) It’s not too distracting but there are a few scenes in which her gestures get out of control and I wish I could assure her that we saw her in the nickel seats. She also applies her makeup with a trowel, which is distracting alongside the more subtle cosmetics of her costars and the general grit and outdoorsiness of the picture. (Makeup in the silent era was wildly inconsistent but the basic rule was that the actors should try to match one another in general amount and application.)

I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more lipstick.

Ulric is further hampered by silly title cards that attempt to mimic French Canadian dialect. And does her background ever amount to anything in the picture? It does not. I am on record as hating dialect title cards and unnecessary dialect title cards are even worse. Frankly, it’s amazing that Ulric manages to rise above the silliness.

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Let’s face it, Rose’s motivation is a little weak. She met Bruce the day before and had a flirtation that lasted all of five minutes, that hardly seems like a good reason to risk everything for him. But… this is a melodrama. Love at first sight is a staple. What’s more problematic is the fact that her contributions to the story are pretty much superfluous. The doc and Bruce would have escaped on their own and the ending of the film (being intentionally vague here) would have been essentially the same with or without Rose. Yes, it’s fun to see a silent heroine wield a pistol but it’s not unheard-of. (See Back to God’s Country, a smashing Canadian wilderness picture in which Nell Shipman saves the day with firearms and a killer dog.)

For Helen – You will always be in my heart, In my mind, And in your grave.

Theodore von Eltz is okay as Bruce but the film misfires when it plays Button Button with his past and motivation. It would have been far more believable if he had confided his sad tale to Rose. As the film stands, the leads are forced to run around being terribly mysterious when any normal person would be asking some questions. “Um, why’d you shoot the guy? I know the doc said you had good reasons but I’d kinda like some clarification. Also, do you shoot girls? Asking for a friend.” Look, this mournful “Oh, my horrible past that I will not clarify!” stuff is amusing in A Series of Unfortunate Events but it gets rather tedious in a drama.

This looks like a job for… Devlin the Super Mountie!

I usually find Forrest Stanley to be a bit on the dull side but I really liked Devlin the Super Mountie. He doesn’t show up much in the beginning but every time he does, he performs some splendid stunt, strikes a heroic pose and otherwise shows himself to be Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. In our world of gravel-voiced antiheroes, Devlin’s unabashed good guy-ness is a positive breath of fresh air and Stanley manages to do it all without coming off as sanctimonious or trite.

No villain is safe on Canadian soil!

Devlin’s whole “unstoppable manhunting force for good” act just gets better and better as the film progresses. I don’t know about everyone else but I was definitely rooting for him to get his man. The fact that Bruce’s motivation is not revealed until the finale makes him a rather opaque hero, which in turn makes Devlin’s straightforward lawman stuff even more appealing. Why were there no Sgt. Devlin of the RCMP spinoffs? Come on, people, you missed a huge opportunity!

Looks trustworthy to me.

I have to say, though, that the casting of Sam De Grasse really threw me off. Here’s a man who can make picnics and candy and flowers look sinister and he spends the entire picture lurking about in a most ominous manner. I kept expecting him to stab Bruce in the back or something.

Legendary cinematographer Charles Rosher makes the most of the films Yosemite locations and the cast is frequently posed against lovely natural backdrops. Hey, if you’ve got it, you flaunt it. He does equally well with the moody shadows of the nighttime storm scenes. The man was good, is what I’m saying. Check it out:

When interviewed by Kevin Brownlow for The Parade’s Gone By, Rosher revealed the film was significant in his career as it was the only time movie mogul Harry Warner ever gave him (or anyone else) a bonus. Lenore Ulric was due back in New York for rehearsals and if the film was not finished in time, the entire crew would have to follow her to the east coast and finish making it there at great expense.

She has a schedule to keep and you do not want to cross her.

Director Sidney Franklin was too nice to rush things along so Rosher took over the role as expediter and the picture was finished on schedule. Ulric got to New York in time, Warner Bros. didn’t have to move production across the country and everyone was happy. Harry Warner personally thanked Rosher and told him that shooting in the east would have added $25,000 to the film’s budget. There was a funny bit of business where Warner wouldn’t let go of the check but Rosher got his bonus in the end. Fully deserved too, I might add.

(Rosher also received a telegram from Belasco himself complimenting him on his camera work. Rosher claimed it was just because Ulric, a Belasco favorite, liked her closeups.)

In the cellar, out of the cellar, in the cellar… make up your minds!

But back to the film as we need to discuss some significant flaws. The main issues of the story come from the script. Its stage roots show particularly in the third act as the story’s setbound nature becomes obvious. The leads scamper from the house to the cellar to the house to the cellar to the cabin to the house. Rosher and Franklin try their best to open things up with shots of the great outdoors but there’s only so much that can be done and the story ends up feeling a bit claustrophobic.

No, sitting under a staircase doesn’t count as a scene change.

(Spoilers Ahoy!)

The finale of the film descends into absolute Victoriana, coincidences and all. It turns out that the doc was Bruce’s brother-in-law all along and it looks like everyone is going to get away when Devlin reveals himself and begins to make his arrest. Rose springs into action and holds Devlin back with a pistol while Bruce and the doctor escape. This means prison for Rose but after holding Devlin prisoner all night, Bruce returns to turn himself in and save her from sacrificing herself. Why they didn’t just tie Devlin up and all escape together, I have no idea. In any case, Devlin is moved by the gesture but he still arrests Bruce.

Hurray! You know, for people whose Hollywood motto is, “We always get our man,” the Mounties certainly seem to let a lot of fugitives go. I’d complain but then I remember that I almost never get my mail delivered during snow, sleet and dark of night. Hollywood needs more realistic mottos for its government organization. “We always get our man unless he’s dating that girl we used to like.” Well, not this time! Devlin remains a Mountie’s Mountie and thank goodness. Of course, Bruce just gets a few months in the pokey, which kind of retroactively nullifies the urgency of his escape. “I need to get away! I can’t serve six months! It’s inhuman!”

(End Spoilers)

Goodby and good luck in your new life, Rose. I planted cocaine in your dog sled.

Is it worth seeing? Oh, definitely. Tiger Rose is as corny as can be and no Mountie film cliché is left out, though some are twisted about and played with. Also in the plus column, the cast is game, Rosher’s cinematography is gorgeous and it’s all in good fun. If you get into the spirit of the thing, I think you’ll have a great time. It’s one of the better Mountie flicks of the silent era.

P.S. #TeamDevlin

Where can I see it?

Tiger Rose is available on DVD from Grapevine.

Tiger Rose (1923) A Silent Film Review Stage star Lenore Ulric brings her signature role to the screen in this melodrama set in Canada.