#bro i KNOW no one cares but theres a slim chance someone will

[i-write-but-cant-spell]

well i have no excuse for how this part two is literally three years late but liek its here???

After this you go back to your friends and upon seeing that you were now in worse condition than when you had arrived they decided to bring you home and you all spent the rest of the night laying on the couch and vegging out to your favorite foods and films.

Phantom on the other hand was now having to deal with his incessant brother Nate pestering him as to who you were and why he seemed to show a larger interest in you than usual.

Nate sat on phantoms desk nearly scattering and wrinkling the piles of paperwork phantom had chosen to surround himself with in order to chase away his thoughts of your tears and the emotions they and your touch had brought to his long dead heart. “I don’t understand you bro if you have feelings for this person why don’t you just go and chase after them? If it were me I would have asked them out ages ago I mean I personally haven’t felt anything in years and think its a total waste of energy or feel the same emotions we did when we were human. Buuuuut if you as opportunistic and cold as you are are feeling some semblance of emotion for the first time since your early human life than you should pursue those feelings.” Nate lectured with a joking tone but a true wisdom that phantom thought beyond his childish naive younger brother.

Phantom sighed rubbing the side of his skull in a desperate attempt to chase away the pain that was forming in his skull due to the copious amounts of paperwork he was currently managing along with the annoyance his brother and his newly rediscovered emotions were presenting him with. “ I do not have feelings for them thats absurd. They’re merely someone who’s skills I hope to one day acquire just like any other person in my collection. I have no emotion or attention towards them beyond that goal. I have just become bored with their talent and therefore no longer need to pour my hard earned time or resources into achieving their particular talent.” Phantom snapped attempting to convince himself as much as he was attempting to convince Nate.

“If that were really the truth you would still be pursuing them relentlessly instead of attempting to avoi them as if they were one of the great plagues. I know you bro and I think you forget that fact some days; I have known you for centuries I have seen you pursue souls of talent through hell or high water and the chances of you “getting bored” of one of your souls and just suddenly deciding to up and remove them from your life is slim to none. You have pursued souls until the day they have died offering them eternity on their death beds; you would not pass up an oppurtunity to gain a talent once interested. Theres somethign special about them. Maybe not to me or to others around us but there is somethign deeply special abotu them to you. You care about them be it in a platonic or romantic light thats for you to discover; but I will tell you that if you do not purse them soon than you can and will lose them.” With that Nate got up fro phantoms desk before teleporting leaving a plume of dust and charcoal that Phantom would inevitably be forced to have professionally cleaned out.

Phantom sat at his desk debating Nates words for hours; He knew that despite how idiotic he could be at times that his brother was rather emotionally intelligent for a demon and that if he did not act soon he would lose any chance he had at forming a relationship with you. He leaned back in his chair staring at your contact in his cell phone the goofy picture you had made your photo staring back at him as if mocking what little heart you had managed to force his demonic body to develop. “Fuck this” he groaned running his hand through his hair before inevitably hitting the call button. He listened to it ring before inevitably being sent to your voice mail. “Y/n; it’s Phantom. I’m- I’m calling to apologize I have a lot of things to talk to you about and I’m hoping we can do it over dinner? My treat of course as always; we can go wherever you’d like just please call me back as soon as you feel like you can answer this. I- I love you good bye.”

Phantom head cannons with a short scenario because I love him. This is a part one with how you guys meet and how your relationship develops plus some angst cause I’m known for making my fanfics as sad as possible. (I’m sorry if these are bad its literally the first time ive written a fic since like 2018) also these are short and not super edited but I may do a part two and make it better later I just really wanted to get this one out here!

When you guys first meet he is only really thinking about forming a deal with you and gaining your talent (as he does)

You however think he’s kind of pretty and he’s super polite so you start to try and actively befriend him!

And boy is so confused he’s like “what are you doing?” “Making us friendship bracelets!” “Oh-“ he just doesn’t know how to handle it

Phantom is also really not used to having friends so like you have to schedule most hangouts that dont have to do with your talent.

Eventually just before he’s going to ask you to sign a contract he is sitting in his office and editing the contract he has planned out for you when suddenly he gets a feeling he doesn’t recognize.

Him? King of deals and lover of talented souls and taking what he wants has a feeling? And its negative? And its about you????? Cue one really really confused and apprehensive fancy man.

He instantly starts to avoid you going so far as to even have you banned from the establishments that you know he owns (aka his night gigs like his clubs) and of course youre hurt cause he’s your friend and suddenly none of your calls or texts are being returned? Soon after this you realize your own feelings when you feel your heart sink at the idea of him being sick of spending time with you. So you of course find yourself at a club in the neighboring town because your friends dragged you out to get over him. Little did they know that he also happens to own this establishment. In their defense you didn’t know either until youre tipsy and crying your eyes out looking for the bathroom only to run straight into the man that’s making you feel so very upset.

“Y/n? Why are you crying? You look exhausted come here lets get you to my office and get you some water.” Phantom speaks gently as hs grabs your shoulders tenderly like you might shatter if he held on just a little to tight. you sniffle brain fuzzy with pain and the alcohol you had consumed earlier. You nodded in between hiccups and failed attempts to stop your insistent sniffling. He slowly begins to guide you to his office through twists and turns that make your liquid filled stomach turn and your blurry eyes spin.

You finally pass through a door into a cozy office as phantom guides you gently to the couch before sitting you down and handing you a bottle of water he seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. “here drink this, I dont want you getting dehydrated,” he spoke gently pushing the plastic bottle into your hands before gesturing for you to take a sip. You sip the water the coolness helping to soothe your etching throat and calm your burning skin. Well calm the burning everywhere outside of where phantoms hand laid still on your shoulder. In fact his whole presence felt burning as if he was a human space heater.

“You can stay here as long as you’d like, i have to go attend to business,” phantom stood removing his hand from your shoulder as he moved to the door still avoiding looking at you as if you were something that disgusted him. “N-no do-don’t go,” you exclaimed grabbing his hand as if that would somehow ground him to the spot. As if it would bring him back to you and the breakfasts you used to spend in cafes talking about anything and everything.

“I have to go ms./mr./mx. L/n, I’d greatly appreciate it if you released my hand and allowed me to go to my meeting,” he said gripping his fist that you didn’t have a hold of into a tight ball as he felt his long dead heart burn in his chest. “Fine but please, just look at me?” You whispered not realizing just how broken you felt until the choked words left your mouth. “Y/- L/n this is highly unprofessional of you please collect yourself and then get yourself home. I also would like you to avoid this and other business in my possession in the future, Good night.” Phantom said negative emotions lacing his voice as you felt more hot tears roll down your cheeks as you stood shakily letting go of your hold on phantoms hand before clutching the hand to your chest as if the memory of the contact coudl heal the pain you felt. You collected yourself enough to walk out the door before collapsing to the floor in the hallway gasping as tears ran down your cheeks; your lungs and heart burned in your chest as if they were on fire. Little did you know that phantom was sitting against the other side of the door in no better a position than you as he held the hand that you had gripped just moments before to his chest. And for the first time in many life times phantom cried.

[trylobite]

ok so i was tagged by @tantamount-treason to do this lil thing??? and ive been blessed w a bunch of new besties lately and im bored <3

1. vulnerability is..

i think most people see vulnerability as a weakness because thats what the media has always portrayed it as, but its really a strength in my opinion. being afraid of vulnerability can be so isolating and prevent us from forming solid, intimate relationships with people. learning how to be vulnerable and embracing vulnerability is learning how to understand ur emotions and how to project them in a way thats authentic. it sounds like bullshit but i swear once u realize being vulnerable is actively choosing to be open and honest about ur emotions ur life can get so much easier

2. you’re called to do something brave, but your fear is real and stuck in your throat. what is the first thing you do?

honestly…. doing something brave… being the overthinker i am that wording is leading me to believe that something perilous is involved and i just dont do well under pressure so probably i would cry and panic :) and do like a cute quick little pros and cons list idk this feels like a very time sensitive thing and thats just not my strong suit

3. what is something people often get wrong about you?

that im super confident and social and that i can easily talk to anyone. while i understand why people think this way, im actually only talkative because im nervous and dont like uncomfortable silence so im overcompensating by making pointless and fast paced conversation.

4. whats the last show you binged and loved?

maybe the good place or big little lies! i rewatched them both recently and theyre just literally perfect shows idk

5. give us a film you really love!!!

AHHH i have so many wtf um…i really enjoy the 2018 smash hit box office ball buster “ophelia” with rey from star wars (ms. daisy ridley) its just so good and it was all i could think of at the moment but i have so many movies that id die for and love so much so i dont think its fair to rank them

6. a concert you’ll never forget?

i went to atlive last november to see cage the elephant and greta van fleet but metallica was headlining. i assumed the metallica fans would be kind and caring but these specific fans were the exact opposite and ruined the experience for me sadly and ill never forget it since it was my first time seeing cage and theyre my favorite band in the universe :/// but thankfully i did get to see their performance as well as gretas and they both did awesome!!

7. whats ur favorite meal ?

bro i couldnt even tell you… some soup or bread idk hot girl meals u kno the drill

8. whats on ur nightstand right now?

ok so context. my nightstand is a three tier corner shelf so i put like my drinks n shit on there sometimes and like my rings but its mostly for decoration so right now on the top shelf we have 2 edward scissorhand funko pops and a fishtank cool tree decoration and an incense burner that looks like a japanese tower thing? and also a dobby figurine, then the next shelf down we have a shelf dedicated to frog memorabilia and has a salt lamp on it and then the next shelf down has some stuffies and books and a sketchpad!!

9. give us a snapshot of an ordinary moment in your life that brings you great joy.

this is hard bc i think i dont take the time to actually reflect on all the small simple things that bring me joy very often but recently ive started coloring in childrens coloring books (not the adult coloring books those r too elaborate) and that brings me so much joy. showering and being in the shower also brings me so much joy and peace i just feel so cut off from the world in the shower its nice :’)

10. what is one thing you’re deeply grateful for right now?

my cat! her name is newspaper but also bestie. like newspaper is her official name but i literally only call her bestie and she likes it. also my frog willie nelson i love him so much and i hope he lives forever and is immortal and rules the world. i also am thankful for books for being a place for me to run to when i feel really bad bc thats been happening kinda alot recently. OH and ofc for all my new pals as well as my old jackass pals aka my bff, boyfriend, husband, and life coach johnny knoxville aka pj clapp my angel <3

literally if anyone read all of these shit ramblings i will give u a big ole kiss on the cheek with consent bc thats fucking crazy and most of it was probably illegible so thank u

i dont really like tagging other ppl in these things bc it feels like a call out but ill do it anyways bc i wanna hear what u r gonna say <3 @viva-la-jackass1 @count-ravioli

[flickerofcalum]

once bitten, twice shy | part two

part 1 // shoot me a message if you wanna be added to a taglist!

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“It was the craziest thing, bro. One minute she was throwing a drink in my face and the next thing I know, she’s got her hand down my pants and her tongue down my throat. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it was confusing as hell.”

Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on Michael’s couch, listening to him recount the previous evening’s events to Ashton and Calum, Michael hadn’t stopped talking about hooking up with Olivia since they stumbled into his parents’ home early that morning, but thankfully, he’d mostly been too distracted to really pay close attention to his friend anyway. He was unable to stop thinking about his run-in with Brinley the night before.

When he’d decided to come home for Christmas, he’d prepared himself for the worst. He’d known immediately that she wouldn’t want to seem him and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. The two of them had been together for such a long time, had their whole lives planned out with each other, and Luke had selfishly flipped the script on her at the very last minute. He hated himself for it every day.

And god, he had missed her the entire time he’d been gone, but it felt even worse now that he’d laid eyes on her. Brinley had changed so much in their time apart – she was even more gorgeous, which he really hadn’t ever thought would be possible. Though it may have been a little creepy, he’d spent half the night watching her from across the room. He couldn’t stop picturing her long legs in the red dress, the cute way her lips curved up into a smile whenever she’d teased Calum, the delicate blush on her pale cheeks whenever someone gave her a compliment.

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“Earth to Luke,” Ashton’s fingers snapped in front of his face, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Are you alive in there?”

Luke blinked a few times. “Sorry. I was just…thinking.”

“About Brinley?” Calum questioned bluntly, raising a dark eyebrow at him. Luke had never really been comfortable discussing Brinley with Calum, and since their break up, he’d tried to avoid the topic all together. While the dark-haired man was one of his best friends, he knew that Calum’s history with his ex went back further than Luke’s history with either of them.

Luke chewed on his bottom lip, scratching his fingers along his stubbled jaw nervously. “I just didn’t think that seeing her again was gonna be so hard, you know?” He sighed a bit. “And she wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Well, you did abandon her right before the two of you were supposed to go off to college together, mate. Can you really blame her?” Michael pointed out, barely looking up from his phone. Luke shot him a glare. He didn’t really need a reminder of what he’d done to Brinley. It was already on his mind more than he would ever admit out loud.

Ashton reached over to pinch Michael’s thigh, eliciting a shriek from red-haired boy. “Not helping, Mike.” He looked back at Luke, his eyes soft and pitying. “She probably just needs some time.”

Luke shrugged sadly. At the party, Brinley hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough – the chances of her changing her mind about wanting to speak to him were probably slim. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that Brinley was still in love with him. Not only was she beautiful, but she also was incredibly smart, talented, funny, and had the kindest soul out of anyone Luke had ever met. If they hadn’t already, it was only a matter of time before someone else came into her life and swept her off her feet, treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Luke was afraid that he was too late.

“She looked good, though, right? Like…she looks like she’s happy,” Luke said finally. Even if she was never his again, that was all he wanted for her.

He watched as Calum shared a look with Ashton he couldn’t quite read before he reached over to pat Luke’s thigh. “Yeah, man. She’s happy.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The cold air stung his skin as he walked outside, causing him to curse under his breath. When he’d promised his mother he’d come home for the holidays, he’d forgotten how goddamn cold it got there. He didn’t have a lot of warm clothes since he lived in Los Angeles, so he wrapped himself up in one of Jack’s old winter coats. There was a gap between the sleeve and the gloves he was wearing, but it was better than nothing.

Normally, Luke avoided going outside at all costs in the winter, but after being locked up in his childhood bedroom for nearly a week, his mother forced him out of the house with a grocery list. Worst of all, he was without a car, so he had no choice but to make the small trek to the store on foot. It was only about a ten-minute walk, but the frigid weather made it feel like hours.

His cheeks and the tips of his ears were red by the time he arrived at the store. The heat was blasting, something he was grateful for when he walked inside. He grabbed a cart and furrowed his brows as he looked at his mother’s list. It occurred to him that he hadn’t been grocery shopping since he moved to Los Angeles. Most of the time, Ashton took care of that sort of thing or they ate take out. “Milk, egg whites, cereal…” he mumbled to himself underneath his breath as he wandered down the aisles, putting the items in the cart. He was pretty sure he had grabbed the wrong brand of cereal, but it was his mother’s own fault for sending him here.

He stood in front of the milk, thoughtfully looking between all the different types. His mother had been on a health kick lately, so would she want almond milk instead? Was he supposed to buy the store’s off brand version since it was cheaper? Luke had been standing there for far too long whenever he heard his name called out by a sweet little voice.

Brinley turned the corner, an exasperated look on her face as she tried to stop her little sister who was barreling towards Luke. He took in a sharp breath as he saw her. She was only in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, her hair thrown messily on top of her head, but she still looked as beautiful as ever to him. “Mallory, no running! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The man grinned as he bent down to Mallory’s level, catching her when she launched herself into his arms. Luke had always had a soft spot for the younger girl, partly because she was the spitting image of her sister. He was a little amazed at how much she’d grown since he’d last seen her, a heavier weight against him than he was used to.

“There is no way you’re Mallory,” He said teasingly. “You are far too big to Mallory.”

Mallory rolled her eyes, propping a hand on her hip as she looked at him. “That’s ‘cause I grew up, dummy.”

“Mallory, be polite,” Brinley chastised. She locked eyes with Luke for a moment before she looked away with flushed cheeks.

Luke turned his attention back to the younger girl. “My apologies, Ms. All Grown Up. Who said you could grow up while I was gone, hm?”

His smile only grew as the little girl giggled, revealing her missing tooth. “I can’t help it!” She insisted, gripping Luke’s hand once he stood up.

Looking at Brinley again, he dared to speak. “It’s good to see you. It’s a shame we didn’t get to talk at the party.”

Brinley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. “Oh, well… you know, Olivia kind of loses her mind when Michael’s around. I had to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Right,” Luke said with a nod, looking back down as Mallory started tugging on his sleeve.

“Luke, Luke! I’m in a Christmas play at my school. I play an angel!” She said excitedly.

Luke grinned. “An angel, huh? How fitting,” he teased, smoothing down her hair.

Mallory rose up on her tiptoes to speak to him. “Will you come see it?”

Brinley coughed. “Mal, I’m sure Luke is really busy…”

Although he knew Brinley didn’t really want him around, he hated the idea of disappointing Mallory by saying no. “I’m actually really not that busy,” he blurted out, chewing on his lip again. “I’d love to come, Mallory. If it’s okay with your sister.”

He felt only slightly guilty as Mallory turned towards her older sister with big eyes, a small pout forming on her lips. “Can he come? Pleaseeee?”

The older girl let out a sigh, giving Luke an exasperated look. “I guess so. Can you let me talk to Luke alone for a second?”

Mallory’s smile was wide as she hugged Luke around his legs for a moment. “Bye Lukey!”

“Bye, petal,” Luke said fondly.

He bit his lip as Mallory ran back over to their nearby cart, pulling the doll she’d left inside out. He’d gotten enough lectures from Brinley to know when she was about to chastise him about something, so he prepared himself as he looked at her. “Brin, look…”

“Don’t call me that,” Brinley snapped, holding one finger up to cut his sentence off.  Her gaze felt like it was piercing right through him and he had never felt quite so vulnerable in his life. “I know we’re going to be seeing each other a lot over the next few weeks, but I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in reconciling with you. You can come to her play, and we can be civil when we’re with our friends, but I don’t want anything to do with you other than that?”

At her words, Luke felt his heart jump into his throat. While he didn’t necessarily expect her to jump back into his arms, he at least thought she’d be willing to talk things out. “Can’t you just give me a chance to explain?” He said, a bit more pleadingly than he would’ve liked. “There’s so many things I have to say to you if you’d just give me five minutes.”

Brinley let out a humorless laugh. “If you wanted to explain yourself that bad, you would’ve done it by now. You can’t just show up here after all of this time and expect me to just bend to your will and listen to you.” She insisted. “I just… I just want to forget everything that happened between us. I’m done, I’ve moved on. And I suggest you do the same.”

Luke gaped after her as she stalked back over to Mallory. He’d been on the receiving end Brinley’s anger before, but he had never experienced her being so outwardly harsh. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest as he watched her walk away.

As he finished up the rest of his shopping, he felt numb, like he was on autopilot. The wind blew the cold air harshly around him as he walked, but it barely affected him. He’d always known that he’d fucked things up with Brinley, but it was starting to hit him that things between them were messed up beyond repair. The girl he loved wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and it hurt.

So, when Luke got home, he quickly put away the groceries before retiring to his room to deal with his feelings the only way he knew how. He locked his door, grabbed a notebook, and started writing.