#bro I literally have no god damn words to describe how fucking cool this place is

[hepatitisneedle]

push me and then just touch me till I get can my, Satisfaction

[shinsorokiri]

UA Idol | Chapter Thirteen

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 2,414

Warnings: Language, dense Shinsou and (Y/n) (the usual)

A/N: Hey I finished it! I’m sorry again for having to change the upload day, I’ve just got lots going on but this is honestly a way for me to let off steam and kind of relax so I don’t want to put it on a hiatus. Besides, after the show that I’m in is over in October it’ll be easier for me to start posting again! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I wish I could have made it a little longer, but it is kind of a filler full of fluff. Hopefully the next one will be super long since it’ll be the performances. Enjoy!

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By the time you two had finished piecing your song together, it was literally the next morning. To be fair, you had decided on what lyrics would be sung when along with adding some beat to it and decided you were both going to play the piano and alternate with each other. When you sang, you were playing, when he sang, you were playing, and when they two of you were singing together, you were both playing. It was wild. And you couldn’t wait to perform it. “Do you think Mina and Denki are still up?”

“I have absolutely no idea. Hold on, I’ll text them,” you say, pulling out your phone and sending a text in the little group chat the four of you have. Surprisingly, Denki texts back almost immediately. “Uh… why did Denki just say ‘is that you god? please… save us… we’re in the stairwell… we’d do anything,’?” Shinsou asks, and you laugh. “I think it means he didn’t sleep and he wants us to go visit him and Mina. I could be crazy though, I don’t know,” you say and Shinsou rolls his eyes. “Let’s go, it’s time to see what these two dramatic assholes are doing.”

You and Shinsou make your way to the stairwell, immediately spotting Mina and Denki hunched over on the steps. “You two have to deal with this every day?” Mina groans, spotting the two of you. You look at each other then back at them, shrugging. “Yeah, when I was about fourteen I got used to it,” Shinsou says. “This is Hell,” Denki groans and you and Shinsou sigh. “I think you can survive this one, tiger,” you say and he gives you a smirk. “You should not have called him that, look at his smug face, look what you did,” Shinsou says, motioning furiously at Denki. You chuckle, shrugging while he huffs at you. He was cute when he got annoyed. Especially when he was being lowkey jealous, even if he knew that you and Denki would never amount to anything but friends. He couldn’t help it, I mean his basically perfect best friend who just so happened to be smirking at his basically perfect crush I mean seriously, if you two got together it would literally be painful how perfect everything would be. “Tosh, bro, stop glaring at me, I’m not gonna steal your girlfriend,” Denk teases him, and you both turn bright red. “SO UH,” Shinsou clears his throat, trying to play it cool and not like he just screamed, “Why did you want us to come here?” “Tell us if this sounds good,” Denki says, sitting up and pulling Mina up along with him. “Well hold on, what are you guys about to sing?” you ask, sitting on the stairs and taking up the spot they were just occupying. “Well we didn’t wanna do a love song because I mean, I’m not into… his kind, so we decided on something hot that both of us could sing about and have it be okay,” Mina says, and you grin. “And what would that be?” Shinsou asks, plopping down right next to you. Weird how his lavender scent always made everything hazy around you. Guess you just like it that much. And it’s not like you couldn’t pay attention to what was happening, you could. In fact, everything was just better when you were seeing the world in lavender. “We settled on break up with your girlftiend, i’m bored,” Denki says and you and Shinosu make a “makes sense” face at each other. “Sounds very you two,” Shinsou says, and Mina blows him a kiss. “Thank you!”

“Sing the damn song.”

“Okay, okay,” Denki says, and then he begins strumming the beginning of it on his guitar. You grin, the way he was picking and strumming it was very satisfying and fitting to the way they wanted to perform it. And of course, the two of them singing together was gold. I mean, they just sound good together, and the fact that it kind of looked like Denki and Mina were trying to get the same girl to break up with her girlfriend because they were bored was truly a work of art. It was also nice to just see them perform a song together and have fun with it. “I, for one, think that’s the perfect song choice and way to play it,” you tell them, and they grin at you. “Thank god. If y’all didn’t like it, I don’t know what the hell we would have done,” Mina says, and Denki nods, setting his guitar back down. “It’s a very sitting song choice for the two of you, not to mention you sound great together. So there’s that,” Shinsou says, giving them a thumbs up. “So what did you two come up with?” Mina asks, and you look at each other. “Should we tell them?”

“I don’t know, maybe we should just keep it a surprise.”

“A surprise?” Mina asks, her eyebrows furrowed. “You realize you have to sing a song on the list for this one?” Denki says. “Yeah, we know.”

“Who said we weren’t?” you ask, and Mina and Denki give you a confused look. “If you were, then just tell us what it is.”

“Who said we were just singing one,” Shinsou says with a shrug, and Mina and Denki look back and forth between you two. “What the hell does that mean?” Mina asks, and you laugh. “You’ll see, it’s unfair to know and not be surprised like everyone else, now is it?” you wink at her, and she sighs. “Whatever, you two are fucking weird. When do people start singing?” Denki asks, and you glance at the time on your phone. “Well, it’s six in the morning and the first group goes at three in the afternoon. So, you have nine hours, however if you want to sleep it would probably take like five to ten minutes for you to get a ride back to the hotel and fall asleep and then there’s soundcheck for everyone from two and on and I know that the both of you probably need an hour and a half to get dressed and do your hair and–”

“It actually takes me two,” Mina interrupts. “Yeah, and it takes me two and a half. This hair doesn’t get styles perfectly by nothing happening to it,” Denki says, and you sigh. “Okay whatever. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. You both have around, oh I don’t know, like four hours of sleep before you would need to be back here and ready to perform.”

“Okay! I’m down, by guys, see y’all later,” Denki says, immediately sprinting outside. “WAIT FOR ME YOU MAN WHORE,” Mina s c r e a m s, chasing after him. “The two of them are very… interesting,” you say, earning a laugh from Shinsou. “Yeah, that’s certinaly a word to describe them.”

“You know, I would say we should get some sleep, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know if I can. Like, yeah, I’m tired but I mean… I’m still anxious about this next performance,” you say, and he nods. “I get it…” he says before dropping off. He begins thinking before he stands up and pulls you back to the practice room the two of you had been at all night. “Shinsou, I don’t think we need to practice anymore; our voices could get hoarse and shot and it would be bad for–”

“We’re not practicing, we’re getting some sleep. If you’re tired, then you’re getting sleep,” he says, turning the lights off and locking the door. You stare at him as his phone light illuminates his face. You know he’s only setting an alarm, but the way that the light is hitting his features is beautiful. He somehow looks like an angel even when the light is coming from underneath of him and just barely illuminating him. The way you felt about him was not good, you had sworn to yourself that you would never catch feelings like this for anyone ever again. Love is a dangerous and painful chase, and you were tired of trying to keep up with it. But you couldn’t deny that you thought he was a very attractive man with a very attractive personality. And you also couldn’t deny the urge you got to kiss him every so often. “Alright, I have the alarm set for noon, that gives us a chance to be up and ready for when Denki and Mina get back here. I texted them to bring us some clothes, so we look presentable and don’t have to run back and forth to the hotel. Now, lay down, the producers gave us this pillow and blanket and I think you should use it,” he says, handing them over to you and turning his phone off, enveloping the two of you in darkness. “Uh, no you deserve it,” you say, shoving it back toward him. He sighs. “(Y/n)… I can’t use these when I know you could use them. I would feel too guilty,” he says, literally throwing them back at you. Now it’s your turn to sigh. “Alright… so… I have an idea, but if we do it, it doesn’t leave this room and we do not turn the lights on so the producers can see us.”

“I’m listening.”

“Okay so… there’s only one blanket and pillow so how about we… y’know… share…?”

He stares at you for a moment through the darkness, and you can’t necessarily see him, but you can feel the intensity radiating off of him. “…Share?”

“Yes. Like… I don’t know… cuddle… I guess?”

Thank god it’s pitch black. You’d probably die if he knew how red you were right now. You absolutely cannot stop blushing. This was 100% something you wanted, but you didn’t want to admit that outloud. Little did you know, Shinsou was in the exact same boat as you. He was just frantically trying to get his heartbeat to calm down before you would be able to hear and feel it from close range. “Uh… yeah, yeah sure. Okay. Good thinking,” he says, performing his signature neck scratch. But you couldn’t see it. Did you visualize it though? Oh absolutely.

You laid, down placing the pillow under your head. Before you could place the blanket over yourself, you felt another head hit the pillow, and suddenly you felt someone else’s breath hit your face. Damn, he was literally so close. What the fuck. What the fuck. You feel the blanket being placed over your body, as well as an arm. A really strong arm that you know is Shinsou’s because even though he hates going to the gym, he’s literally trained in karate which is really cool and also really hot because he’s really in shape and yeah, uh, stop thinking about that right now. You’re too nervous about him feeling your heart about to beat out of your chest to realize his is beating just as fast. You tried to push back these thoughts, and in doing so you were reminded of some aspects of your past relationship. But no matter how long you tried to dwell on those thoughts, you always came back to Shinsou. And his warm smile. And his embrace. And his scent, and his demeanor, and his humor, and, well, him. And just thinking about him and feeling his warmth had your eyes slowly shutting. And you were craving more warmth from him. Or maybe you were just craving him. And as much as that thought would scare you, right now you don’t care. You just know you feel safe and comfortable in his arms.

But the fact that he actually has you in his arms right now is crazy to him. It’s lowkey a dream come true, but he knows he can’t really comment on it. This was just a way to ensure you were both comfortable. Obviously. No other intentions behind this. And he may not be able to see your face right now, but he can feel your breath hitting his nose, and it causes him to smile. He could only imagine the look on your perfect face right now. He wished he could see it, but the lights had to be off so no cameras could spy in on the two of you and try to get some juicy gossip for the episode. The two of you lay like that for quite some time, and he only hopes you fell asleep. He has intense troubles with it, and even though he knows that you struggle with it too, he’s worse. But somehow, knowing your with him is way more comforting than any of his cool down rituals, or any of the sleepy time tea he drinks or even the melatonin he takes when his insomnia gets really bad. And he feels himself getting tired. Crazy the affects you have on him.

Before he starts drifting off, he feels you bury your head in his neck. Of course, it surprises him, but when he feels the steady breathing coming from your body, he knows you’re asleep. He can’t help but smirk knowing that you wanted to be closer to him in your sleep. He wanted you to be closer too, so that’s why he tightened his grip around your body and closed his eyes. He could get used to this feeling.

Of course, he also had the nagging fear in the back of his mind about falling in love again. He was afraid that with you, that would be possible. Now yeah, he’s had shitty relationships, but the relationships weren’t the thing he was scared of. The majority of the people he loved, and even loves, in his life had all left. And he didn’t want that to happen with you. He never planned on it to happen with anyone ever again. But right now, with you asleep in his arms, that fear was pushed to the very back of his brain. All he could think about was how happy he was in this moment. And for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep with a smile on his face. You two were able to sleep long enough that you both had dreams.

Too bad neither of you will ever tell the other that they were about each other.

[tenshindon]

Have you gotten Yamcha for the ask game yet? Or Tien? 😊

i have received Neither Chaps !!! So I will now do them both :) Pause on that :) gonna put this under a Read More since This Will Be Long <3

Yamcha:

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Uhhhh A Lot Of Reasons. Like. A lot. BUT I will be brief and say I like him because as a kid I always thought he looked cool and I always thought his first fight with Goku was radical. With My Big Man Brain Now I love him for just how sincere of a guy he is? And how loving and friendly and supportive? And I make fun of him for it but the wolf aesthetic genuinely is really cool- not to mention how he loves to change up his outfits and hairstyles!

Why I don’t:

I have no reason to hate this man. Like none exists. In The Most Platonic Way Ever he’s literally the perfect man and I would take him home to meet my mom and even then she would be happy with me dating a man if it was Yamcha Dragon Ball.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

I have so many favorite Yamcha moments and ergo episodes good god help me BUT I will name ONE off the top of my head so I’m not stuck here forever and I really love the baseball scene in Z for Many Reasons it’s just so good it plays on loop in my brain 24/7 so I Will Say episode 10 of DBZ :)

Favorite season/movie:

The Tien Saga.... legendary.... yes he did get his leg broken but everything before AND after that??? Immaculate. Perfect. Astounding. No The Tien Saga Is Not Therapy But I Will Use It As Such

Favorite line:

Anything Yamcha says is music to my ears and is pure gold, and aside from The Iconic “Looking good, Tien!” quote from Budokai 3, I gotta say my actual favorite quote??

“No big deal. Bones heal, just like everything else.” -Yamcha to Tien in reference to his broken leg after the 22nd World Tournament

Like. It’s SUCH a simple line but it’s SO telling of Yamcha’s character?? Tien literally broke his leg with no concern of the long-lasting effects of doing so, not to mention his dickish behavior beforehand towards Yamcha beforehand. So for Yamcha to just be ready to forgive him at the drop of a hat when he sees Tien’s seem sincerely apologetic? Dude no one talk to me I’m going to write an essay again.

Favorite outfit:

I Mean This In The Most Platonic Way Part II but Yamcha can make Literally Any outfit and hairstyle look good it should be illegal. However I am legally required to choose One (1) outfit and at this point we should all know how much I adore the desert bandit fit of his. It’s just such a classic and cute look to him (not to mention The Sword <3)

OTP:

Oh You Know :) but if you don’t it’s Yamcha and Tien- even as just Friends They’re So Good I’m Going To Write An Essay like god I want what they have so badly.

Brotp:

I love his relationship with Puar, like I genuinely would love a small arc dedicated to how they even became friends in the first place since their origin together is so mysterious yet intriguing? But aside from The Obvious answer I love his brotherly relationship with Goku and Krillin! Unfortunately that relationship wanes as they all get older but I’ll always cherish the moments where he radiated such Big Bro energy.

Head Canon:

I’ve got a dumb amount of headcanons it’s terrible BUT I think my favorite headcanon is that Yamcha’s leg never properly heals after the 22nd Tournament.

Unpopular opinion:

I. Have a lot. Of unpopular opinions. Just genuinely loving Yamcha’s an unpopular opinion in of itself BUT One of my unpopular opinions is that Yamcha’s a flirt, a cheater, and promiscuous. If he’s ever portrayed as a flirt towards women, I can give it the smallest pass in the world that he’s trying to cope but even then that’s such a stretch in my opinion- and I guess this is on top of being a headcanon but Frankly I don’t think Yamcha’s ever even kissed anyone- he’s playing the long game everyone he’ll get his kiss on his wedding day btw that’s like. Partially a joke; I joke around a lot that Yamcha’s Super dedicated to the whole Nothing Until Marriage idea lmao.

A wish:

For the love of God Yamcha pack up your shit and Puar and just move in with Tien your apartment’s shit.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Honestly? I kind of don’t want Yamcha to get a girlfriend? But I also DO because he wants that the most in life and it’d be great to see SOMETHING nice happen to him!

My only gripe with him getting a girlfriend (and hopefully then a wife) would be that his girlfriend wouldn’t be that well defined of a character and she’d just be said in Passing Mentions.

5 words to best describe them:

Perfect, immaculate, loyal, courageous, lovely 

My nickname for them:

Furry, Dumpy, and Wolfie!

Tien

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Again I Have A Lot Of Reasons BUT I love how like. Deceiving he is as a character. Like ask anyone and 90% of the time people will say Tien’s smart and serious and No Bullshit but no he is exactly the opposite he’s dumb as shit in any department outside of farming and fighting and he’s such a lil’ jackass when breathing next to Yamcha. 

Sincerely though, I absolutely love his character development- it’s one of my favorite arcs in Dragon Ball to be honest but That’s An Essay For Another Time. I also love how funny he can be, intentionally or not, and he’s surprisingly really relatable at times? And just his dedication to fighting’s really neat too; at this point he MUST know he can never be stronger than Goku but he still tries nevertheless and that’s really indicative of his bullheaded personality.

Why I don’t:

You could not pay me to dislike him I’d sell my kidneys for Tenshinhan.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Any episode from the gang’s escapades on King Kai’s planet good lord save me. That’s where Tien’s existence shines the best it’s so good.

Favorite season/movie:

His own saga man like. As much as I LOVE Redeemed Tenshinhan I also love how much of a jackass he was like why was he like that LMAO

Favorite line:

Again, aside from The Iconic x2 “Looking good, Yamcha!” quote, I gotta say it’s:

“Yes... sir! <3″ -Tien preparing to strike Goku with the volleyball fist during the 22nd World Tournament.

Also “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. This seems too dangerous for them.” -Tien to Gohan during the Resurrection F saga

Favorite outfit:

Like Yamcha, Tien’s outfits always hit. Not a SINGLE one misses. BUT I gotta say I love his classic tits-out look- more so for the fact I like how he shows off his scar as a kind of way to say he’s moved on from the Crane School like Damn Son you love to see it :,) Deep reasons aside, my second-favorite outfit’s got to be the Buu Saga listen man everyone just had the Hottest outfits in the Buu Saga you can’t blame me.

OTP:

Oh You Know :)

Brotp:

Tien has Two (2) friends in his life man the pool’s small but even if it WAS larger I would say Chiaotzu anyway LMAO. Love them dudes man.

Head Canon:

Tien is just. Terribly academically and socially stupid. The Social Ineptitude isn’t even a headcanon that’s just fact but when I said he’s stupid in every department But Fighting And Farming I meant it. Flirting with Tien is a nightmare. If you’re not Yamcha or Chiaotzu joking with him is a headache. He’s only smart in the vocabulary department other than that he couldn’t tell you how many planets are in the solar system. He’s dumb as rocks but is smart enough to convince everyone around him he’s smart because he knows what picayune means.

Unpopular opinion:

I have nothing but love and respect for Krillin, but it makes like. No sense to insist Krillin’s the strongest human on earth. Tien does not go hard on that grind 24/7 just for everyone- writers included- to reduce him to such trash when fighting. But why pit two kings against each other you know?

A wish:

Please just give him one good sexy fight that’s all I’m asking for. Also Tien PLEASE use the solar flare you dumb motherfucker YOU INVENTED IT??? Actually all of my wishes are fighting related but yeah Tien for God’s Sake acknowledge how crazy your move kit is and fuck it UP MY GUY.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Tien please don’t get a random wife I fortunately cannot see that happening but for the love of God Toei if you make that happen I will actually commit arson. Any other fear I could have either has come true or cannot happen.

5 words to best describe them:

Deceivingly smart dumbass I love

My nickname for them:

Headass, Slap Head, My Man/s, Bald Motherfucker, Polyphemus Headass (I know Polyphemus is a cyclops but shush), Four Arms, Machamp, Stitch, Roach, King, and Ikea Dresser

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #395

“suicide? i’ve already died  /  it’s just the funeral i’ve been waiting for”

Have you ever met a famous political figure? No. Have you slept for longer than usual today? Ugh, no. I officially have my APAP mask for my sleep apnea, and I chose the one that covers my nose and mouth considering it varies which I breathe from when I sleep depending on congestion. It is very hard to get used to. When is the last time that you experienced rejection–literal or imagined? Hm. Is there an artist or celebrity whom you admire for their craft but take issue with their personality or politics? Yeah, such as Marilyn Manson. He's a pretty gross person but by god do I love his music. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomically correct heart. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yes. What do you do to celebrate Earth Day? Nothing. :/ I wish I could think of something to do for it. Have you ever had someone try to intentionally bully you to suicide? Bro what the actual fuck. No. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My nephew Ryder. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I've kissed a girl and it felt pretty great, so. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: 1.) a snake; 2.) a huge meerkat collection; and 3.) an APAP machine. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? My snake, I think. Describe your feet: Ugh, the worst. My feet are horribly callused from when I used to walk all the time. I have small toes. What’s a pretty bird? Peacocks. Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? Just about everything. .-. How do you like your hoodies? Loose/oversized. Can grills be sexy on a guy? They're hideous, if you want my honest opinion. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. How fucked up are those, honestly... I really hate the concept of teaching children that they have to tell some random guy things they feel bad about and let him ask God to forgive you or else you're going to Hell. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. Can you do a backflip? No. Where are the last three places you went? The TMS office, a gas station, and my sister's house. Do you consider yourself a flirt? No. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? I actually don't know, but at least close to 30 now for sure. I just know we were both in high school, but he failed I think two years. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Guess who, lmao. Which YouTuber seems uber-confident? Mark is a very confident person. I envy 'im for that. What is the funniest YouTube video you have ever seen? I watch YouTube like... constantly, so I've seen thousands upon thousands by now. I really don't know. Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? No, but that's like a dream marriage venue for me. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't think I ever had a boring one. Man, I miss those. Do you enjoy watching videos of babies being born? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Does ANYBODY? Are you a hoarder? No. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? I would say liposuction, but I honestly want to lose the weight myself. If/when I lose the weight I want to, I am 110% getting loose skin removal at LEAST on my stomach because I feel hideous with it. Also if I achieve my weight loss goals, I want to get a breast lift. Weight loss-related things aside, I'm pretty serious about getting laser hair removal on my legs because I HATE shaving and my legs are VERY hairy, and the hair is dark, so I'm extremely self-conscious about it. Are you the type of person who asks a lot of questions? It depends on who I'm asking. With some people, I'm afraid to look stupid if I ask too many. How many states have you visited in your lifetime? If you're excluding the ones I've merely driven through as well as lived in (which is only one), I've visited Ohio, New York, Florida, Virginia, Tennessee, and Illinois, so six. I MAY have been to Michigan as a baby, but I don't remember. What is your biggest fear for the future? Ending up homeless after Mom passes. I'm scared my family will give up on me, which is completely unrealistic, but I'm terrified of living on the streets. Do you like seafood, or not so much? I only like shrimp. Have you ever cried from being so nervous? Oh, certainly. What is your favorite book series, if you have one? Hm... of all series I've ever read, probably the Shiloh trilogy. I adored the books and the movies. Have you ever had a parasite before? NO NO NO NO NO, DON'T MAKE ME IMAGINE THIS. I am PETRIFIED of parasites. Do you have a big heart when it comes to animals? Absolutely! Have you ever put your pets in a kennel for a while? I actually don't remember? It's possible when we've gone on an extended vacation, but I'm unsure. Whenever we've gone somewhere, friends have normally taken care of our animals. Where is your favorite place to buy clothing? Hot Topic or Rebel's Market. Do you enjoy listening to older music? I love classic rock and metal. What do you think is the most stupid song out there right now? "WAP" for fucking sure. I haven't even heard the whole thing, and I don't EVER want to. As a child, did you ever want to become a mermaid? Nah. Ariel was my favorite princess, but I wasn't obsessed with mermaids or anything. Can you compose sentences in any other language than your own? Some German, yes. Mainly just the basics. Have you ever met someone who was really racist before? Yes, many. -_- Do you have any celebrity autographs? No. If you could be a Disney character for a day, who would you be? Maybe Kiara from TLK. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Black. Did you ever build furniture forts as a child? Oh yeah, lots of times! I sometimes even pretended they were burrows and I was a meerkat, ha ha. What kind of dog is your favorite? I have a beagle bias. Do you prefer water or land? Land. Have you ever had a seizure? No. Do you plan on losing weight any time soon? Hunny, I've been trying to since 2016. -_- I lost like 70-ish pounds through 2017-2018, but recently I've gained almost like... all the weight back and it is upsetting beyond words. Have you ever been in a heated pool? Uh, a hot tub? Yes. Are you looking forward to anything? Getting Venus' terrarium, finishing TMS so I can maybe get a job, visiting Sara again... What was your GPA in high school? Over 4.0. Do you require a lot of private time? OH yes. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I hope achieving a sense of accomplishment and becoming content with my hopeful career, marrying a fantastic partner, and having a family of lovely pets. If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? I'll go through the very few I deeply enjoy: 1.) Mozart in Meerkat Manor; 2.) probably Hyde from That '70s Show; 3.) perhaps Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist; 4.) Jerome from Ginga Densetsu Weed; and 5.) Shiro from Deadman Wonderland. Did you use to watch Blue's Clues? OH yes. I loved that show as a kid. Do you stutter when you get nervous? BADLY. Your lunch consisted of...? What DID I have... uhhh OH leftover pizza. What is your favorite kind of chips? Hot, crunchy Cheetos. What is the best way to tell someone that they stink? I wouldn't. Do you have any embarrassing usernames? Some from the past, yeah. Do you have a backpack in a shape of an animal? No. I found a meerkat one once, but it was way too small for me to use in school. :( I was so disappointed. Have you ever waxed your legs? No. I've waxed my upper lip and eyebrows, but especially with how long and thick my leg hair is, I think waxing there would be excruciating, so no thanks. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No, but I would if it had a cool design. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? No, and I wouldn't. Children generally don't have a strong enough grasp on when profanity is appropriate and not. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? This is VERY common. Like right now, my right arm is the Sahara with how dry and raw it is. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? Nah, got no reason to. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No, because I know I wouldn't like it; I don't like lettuce on my burgers. Do you feel like you’re judged for your looks? For my weight, yes. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just one? Poverty is high on the list. Just... no one should have to live like that. Do you like Wendy’s frosties? After they thaw a little bit, oh yeah. It's physically impossible to drink them for a good few minutes because they're so damn thick.

[sailorhyunjinz]

hi cherry a little vent if that's OK w u

so on this app I had 2 people who I had notifs on for, you and my fav sfw writer right? over time though I realized I didn't actually like that person as an author I just got really attached because they were the first blog I was anon on and they responded well. but like 👁👄👁 recently they've been downplaying skz alot tbh and I don't mean in a critique way, in a way where they were saying certain things were just plain bad with little to no valid explanation and just being overall nasty? I think that might be what made me realize that I didn't actually like them a ton tbh, I unfollowed them today cause I got a notif from them and it was a post saying the song that is currently my favorite was bad and didn't deserve a mv :// obv that post wasn't directed at anyone I just think I got tired of only seeing negative things about the boys when I open their blog. I also would find myself going directly to ur blog after reading shitty stuff on their blog because this place is just a place full of general excitement and support, I really enjoy it. but anyways uh, I wanna thank u for being such a cool author and for supporting the boys the way u do :) the author I'm referring to was never directly slamming on the boys themselves, but they just never seemed to have anything good to say yk? I really enjoy being here way more

also congrats on now being the only blog I have notifs on for luv <3

ok end rant//

anyways

my sleep schedule is still utterly fucked in every way, I got distracted trying (and succeeding!!) at making a Kandi cuff but by the time I was done it was 4:30 am so now im just chilling watching anime for now till I feel like getting up for school. since it's so early maybe ill stop at mickydees otw 😌😌

also, I've been streaming literally all day and the new album is SO GOOD BRO SJDJJXDHE

I was expecting something really sad from silent cry and star lost but BRO?? 10/10 think star lost will be the Blueprint of this era

and CHRISTOPHER? mans said nah fuck the shirt yall get bandages take it or leave it

AND I MEAN OBVIOUSLY TAKE IT

also I don't think words can express how down fucking bad I am for seo changbin like 😫😫 please Mr seo just one chance

and like skz making us think the beginning of the unveil for domino was the beginning of the song feels like they're laughing at us rn like zjjxjd ALSO DOMINO IS SO GOTDAMN FUCKING GOOD HOLY FUCKING DUCK the like high pitched thingy he does for like two syllables (idk how to describe it I'm sorry??) is SO HOT I CANNOT

awwwh >:((( DAMN I FEEL SO HONORED BRO THANK YOUUUU <33 ah but i kinda feel bad for your phone HASHSAH WHEN I START SPAMMING SHIT- nah but seriously thank you <33

i mean i can understand that its not everyones favorite album, i really liked it but we cant all have the same opinion can we but theres a difference between constructive criticism and just being mean SO im happy that you noticed the difference and just kinda,,, dont try to associate with people that dont have anything positive to say.

my god your poor sleep schedule,,, DONT U HAVE SCHOOL?? HOW THE FUCK DO U EVEN SCHOOL BRO

also yes can we just say that both silent cry and star lost are amazing songs?? i really like songs with those kinda,,, vibes so i was pleasantly surprised and i just think that everyones vocals fit those songs as well <333 but if we talking favorite song here mine is probably cheese?? idk something about that songs is very unique,,, its fresh, it doesnt sound like anything ive heard before and the concept is very cool and fitting for skz so i just love it, love love love!!! <33

[araliyaintheskywithdiamonds]

How Sometimes, A Little Meddling Goes A Long Way - A CrissColfer Fic

Anonymous asked: Are you still taking promts? I was wondering if you would write an early CC one- them being extremely flirty and the rest of the cast has had enough of them being oblivious

Here you go! AO3

Word Count: 1807

“So,” begins Lea as she flops down on the couch next to Chris, resting her chin atop her propped hand expectantly. “What’s all of this I’m hearing about you and a certain special man?”

Chris peers at her over the top of his glasses, his fingers still typing out the last of a sentence on his laptop. “I don’t know where this rumor’s coming from, but by all means keep going- a fictional love life might make up for my lack of a real one.”

“I’m being serious, Colfer!” she replies indignantly. “And I can’t believe you haven’t told me!”

“I haven’t told you what?”

“You and-” she drops her voice down to a low whisper. “Darren?”

Her dramatics are verging on comical, and Chris laughs. “We’re literally in my trailer, Lea, no one’s going to hear us. Not that there’d be anything to hear anyway, since me and Darren are nothing but friends?”

“Uh-huh,” Lea nods like she’s entertaining him. “You said that like a question, by the way.”

Chris rolls his eyes and shoves at her. “I’m not questioning anything. Besides, he’s straight.”

Lea just smirks like she knows something Chris doesn’t, and gets up to leave. “Surehe is,” she says, before winking exaggeratedly and descending the trailer steps.

What was that supposed to mean?

It’s Naya who confronts him next. Chris is at one of the Craft Services’ food trucks, making a rather difficult decision between sweet and savory bagels, when she threads her arm through his and says, “Hurry up and pick something because we are going to have a talk.”

Chris stares at her in terror- Naya’s talks usually involve his sex life and whether it’s fulfilling enough, and whether he needs help finding hook ups (since he’s too young to go to bars) because she has totally got contacts. She is remarkably like her character in that sense, and it’s quite terrifying (or useful, depending on how you see it) for anyone who has to experience it.

He hastily chooses a plain bagel, (“Boring, Christopher,” Naya admonishes), and he finds himself being dragged off behind one of the trucks, away from the picnic benches where the rest of the cast and crew sit for lunch.

Chris has taken one bite of his bagel when he hears, “So, how big’s his dick?” Immediately he chokes on said bite of bagel, and looks up at Naya through his watering eyes. She’s smiling slightly smugly, though her eyes are warm.

“Whose dick?” he asks petulantly. “What is this sex life I’m having that everyone’s apparently talking about?”

“Nuh-uh, Christopher, you don’t get to play all innocent with me,” Naya says. “I’ve seen enough of your exotic dancing to know exactly what those hips can do.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m getting any!” Chris fires back, and wait, why is he trying to prove that he’s not having sex?

“Okay, so explain to me what’s going on between you and Darren, then. Don’t try and tell me you’re just bros.”

“Yes, we’re just bros,” Chris says grumpily. Naya raises an eyebrow. It’s true, though. If bros stay the night at each other’s houses, and nap together, and like to kiss each other on the cheek and occasionally end up spooning on the couch when they’re too tired to go to bed and-

Oh.

Naya apparently sees the recognition in his eyes and she punches his arm in congratulations. “Damn, Chris! Those sweatpants of his hide like, nothing- you are one lucky bastard!”

“We’re not fucking!” Chris yells after her, but she’s already stalking off in her flouncy Cheerios skirt, smacking his ass as she passes him by.

A PA nearby clutches her clipboard and eyes him confusedly, and he hurriedly makes his way back to the picnic tables before his face can burn up any more.

Darren likes Chris. As in he likes Chris. He totally wants to kiss him, and wake up next to him, and do stuff with him, and just be the one Chris comes home to, but all of those feelings are kind of terrifying because Chris doesn’t seem to want him back. And Darren’s not good with dealing with feelings that aren’t returned. They kind of leave him open and vulnerable and kind of dejected, really.

It’s also not fun seeing Chris flirt with the hot sound guy, his eyes crinkling every time he laughs at something the the guy’s said. Like, that’s totally a downer. Only Darren should be allowed to make Chris laugh like that- so much that you can see a hint of his cute little teeth.

And that’s what he’s doing on a Tuesday morning- sitting in one of the chairs in their makeshift auditorium, glaring peevishly at the sound guy, who has the audacity to smooth the lapel of Chris’ costume suit.

Dianna’s voice cuts through Darren’s grouchy reverie. “If looks could kill, Martin would honestly have dropped dead by now.”

“Who’s Martin?”

Dianna snorts, and somehow, because she’s Dianna, she manages to make the sound elegant and dignified. “The boom operator. The one who’s currently talking to Chris.”

Darren huffs and tries to be noncommittal, but Dianna sees right through him. “You’ve just got to ask him, you know. He’ll say yes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Di.”

“Sure you don’t.” She pats his knee sympathetically, and pulls out her phone and the conversation’s over.

Darren goes back to staring at Chris.

Kevin’s the next one to tackle him about Chris. Darren’s friends are cool and all, and he loves them to pieces, but they can be ridiculously persistent.

“Ya’ll are dating, right?” Kevin asks from across the empty seat. Chris has gotten up from sitting between them to grab a drink of water, not before giving Darren’s hand a squeeze.

“Nah, man, we’re just friends.”

Kevin raises an eyebrow skeptically. “You do realise that’s what they all say?”

“I’m serious, dude! Besides, he doesn’t really want me like that anyway,” Darren concedes, stopping himself from running a hand through his Blaine hair.

At that moment, Chris comes back, handing Darren one of those adorable mini bottles of water. He leans across Darren’s lap to give one to Heather as well, and in that movement his hand grips Darren’s thigh tightly. Not knee thigh, but like close-to-crotch thigh. Darren can feel his face heating up as he blushes.

Damn his father’s super white genes.

Kevin laughs. “Either you’re blind, or I’m seeing things, Criss.”

When Chris arrives at the restaurant, there’s no one there. A solid chunk of the cast has agreed to meet up for dinner at one of their favorite places, surely not everyone’s late? The room is like, barren. Sure, it’s not uncommon for them to book out the entire place- because there’s so many of them and it’s easier to avoid the paps, but Chris definitely isn’t early- they’d said 8 and it’s now 8:30.

Suddenly Darren’s walking into the restaurant, sweating slightly with the humid L.A. air.

“Heya, Chris,” he says amicably, leaning up to press a kiss to Chris’ cheek. “I’m not too late, am I?”

Chris ignores the swooping sensation in his stomach. “Not at all. It seems like we’re actually early compared to everyone else.”

“Not even Jenna?” Darren asks, peering around Chris to stare at the quiet dining area. Even the desk at the front of the restaurant, where your name gets ticked off for reservations, is empty. “Jenna’s never late.”

“Even Jenna,” Chris confirms. They then both startle as a waitress appears seemingly out of nowhere beside them, holding a notepad.

“Chris Colfer and Darren Criss?” she asks, eyeing them both.

Darren breathes out a shaky, “Holy shit, that was scary as hell…” while clutching his heart as if he’s just had a stroke.

Chris rolls his eyes and addresses the waitress, who looks nice enough. “Yep, that’s us.”

“We’ve got a table for you two. Come with me?” She sets off quickly- probably to get away from Darren, who’s still breathing heavily and staring at her like she just teleported.  

“Did she just say, us two?” Chris asks Darren (once he’s calmed down), as they follow her through the restaurant.

“Uh, yeah? I mean, we’re here for dinner aren’t we?”

“Well, the way she said that was like it’s just us two.”

Chris’ suspicions are confirmed when they arrive at a quaint little table for a pair, adorned with delicate cutlery and flickering candles. “Oh my god…”

“Wait- what?” Darren stares at the table confusedly, and then back at the waitress who’s pulled out their chairs for them and stalked off to get their menus. “Why are we at a table for two? The place is empty- there’s a twelve-seater like, right there.”

“What do you think, Darren?” Chris breathes. His eyes are wide and he’s slightly paralyzed.

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you- ohh.”

“Yeah.”

Darren turns to face him, eyes a million times brighter in the dim light of the room. “Are we- did we just get set up? On a date?”

“I’m pretty sure we did.” Chris feels the blush rise with the implications of what’s just happened. “Oh my god, I am going to kill Lea. Or Naya. Or whoever the fuck it was.”

“I thought it might’ve been Kev or Dianna,” Darren laughs. “Could’ve been all of them, actually. They’ve all been on my tail about asking you- oh.”

He drops off prematurely, apparently finding something interesting in the designs on the tablecloth.

Chris feels like his stomach might fall out. “Asking me what?”

Darren waits a moment before looking back up at him, eyes glowing amber. “If I’d brought you here, and gotten us a table like this, in an empty restaurant, would you sit down with me?”

“Like-” Chris’ throat feels dry. “Like on a date?”

“Like on a date,” Darren confirms.

“Would you have meant it?” Chris whispers.

“With everything I have.”

Their hands have somehow met between them, and Chris stares at them, pale against tan, the way their fingers connect.

“Good thing we’re in the exact situation you just described, then.”

“Exactly.” Darren tugs Chris down to sit opposite him and they kind of just look at each dazedly other for a moment.

Chris remains shellshocked, until he’s suddenly laughing, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “I can’t find it in myself to be mad at those meddling assholes.”

Darren snorts. “I reckon we’ll have to send them flowers or something.”

“Yeah, we will. After this date, though.”

Darren’s resulting smile lights Chris up inside for the rest of the night.

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[fae-fucker]

Shatter Me: Chapter 7-9

Chapter 7

Juliette angsts about all the stuff she remembers from the time before the dystopia and about the fact that Adam isn’t speaking to her. I can’t remember why he’s pouting and don’t care enough to go back and look.

Juliette angsts some more about stuff we already knew about, like how her parents hated her and nobody knew why her touch was so bad. 

She is a walking weapon in society, is what the teachers said. We’ve never seen anything like it, is what the doctors said. She should be removed from your home, is what the police officers said.

Why is everyone in this world such an asshole?

I mean, sure, I get that it’s scary that a person can cause such horrible ... uh, well I dunno what, exactly, but this just feels forced as fuck. I’m hoping Juliette is an unreliable narrator and that there were nice people in her life, because making it seem like everyone hated her is just so ... cliché. 

It was obvious that this child, this BABY, had no control over her powers, and I don’t believe for one second that nobody took pity on her. Humans always want to pet things that can bite their heads off, and I can’t see how nobody would care for an actual human child who clearly had no control over what she was doing. 

But whatever man. Gotta make it seem like Juliette is all alone in the world so let’s just make everyone else a total asshole!

Anyway, turns out that Juliette was dragged away from her parents at the age of 14 after accidentally killing someone. Wait, she’s 17 now, and she’s been locked up for 260-something days, which isn’t even a year. So where has she been between here and when she was taken away?

I guess we’ll find out!

Suddenly the door opens and some dudes come in with guns pointed at them,

I’m still frozen in place. I should move, I should lift my arms, I should spread my feet, I should remember to breathe. Someone is cutting off my neck.

See, there it is again. This reinforces the idea that Juliette doesn’t actually believe the bullshit she spouts (if she did, she’d be imagining she’s choking to death and acting as such), so if we assume her “””””””””poetic”””””””” thoughts are just thoughts and not actual beliefs, then her stupid narration isn’t a result of her isolation. 

So it would be offensive to pretend her narration is supposedly the only product of 260+ days in solitary, but if it’s NOT EVEN THAT, then it’s even MORE offensive because she’s basically perfectly sane and has suffered no ill effects from this LITERAL TORTURE at all. 

This book is a fucking mess. 

Anyway, the dudes beat Juliette up for shits and giggles I guess, and she thinks they placed Adam there because she was supposed to be killed and he was going to get her cell. 

Someone is laughing. “Well aren’t you a little shit?”

That someone is me, because this is the silliest thing to say and apparently it’s supposed to be insulting or intimidating?

I call my friends “little shits”. 

“She’s not even crying,” someone adds. “The girls are usually begging for mercy by now.”

Oh man. Even this book manages to get some dumbass NOTLIKEOTHERGURLZ bullshit in, huh? 

LOOK HOW STRONK AND STOIC JULIETTE IS!!! SHE’S NOT EVEN BEGGING FOR MERCY, SHE’S TOO DIGNIFIED AND NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER IDIOTS WHO WANT TO LIVE!!!

The dudes make them both leave the cell to take them somewhere.

I can’t distinguish words I can’t understand the sounds I’m hearing the blood is rushing through my head and my lips are 2 blocks of concrete I can’t crack open.

[...]

I hope they kill me soon.

Same.

Chapter 8

Juliette wakes up in a room. What a surprise, huh?

Some military dude tells her to get up and follow him. 

He looks about 25 years old, blond hair cropped close to the crown, shirtsleeves rolled up to his shoulders, military tattoos snaking up his forearms just like Adam’s.

Oh. 

God. 

No. 

Adam steps into the doorway beside the blond and gestures with his weapon toward a narrow hallway. “Move.” 

Adam is pointing a gun at my chest. 

Adam is pointing a gun at my chest. 

Adam is pointing a gun at my chest.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN.

Adam is a soldier. Adam wants me to die.

Can’t blame him.

Death would be a welcome release from these earthly joys I’ve known.

I think at this point you’re so annoying that even Death doesn’t want to deal with you.

She’s taken to a room and ... Oh? What’s that I hear?

IS IT A HOT DANGEROUS BAD BOY HERE TO BE THE ACTUAL LOVE INTEREST?!

“Juliette Ferrars.” [...] “Weston, dim the lights and release her. I want to see her face.” The command is cool and strong like steel, dangerously calm, effortlessly powerful. 

[...]

I’m immediately struck by his youth. He can’t be much older than me. 

It’s obvious he’s in charge of something, though I have no idea what. His skin is flawless, unblemished, his jawline sharp and strong. His eyes are the palest shade of emerald I’ve ever seen. 

He’s beautiful. 

His crooked smile is calculated evil. 

[...]

His suit is perfectly pressed, his blond hair expertly combed, his soldiers the ideal bodyguards. 

I hate him.

[...]

His green eyes are almost translucent

His name is Warner. He acts like your typical snarky, evil, but secretly damaged love interest. 

Warner Bros. asks Adam (whose last name is Kent, if you’re interested) what he thinks about the impression he’s made on Juliette.

Adam says nothing. He doesn’t look in my direction. His body is erect, 6 feet of gorgeous lean muscle, his profile strong and steady.

“I know I’ve been in solitary for 260+ days, but what girl wouldn’t cream herself in the presence of gorgeous lean muscle, especially when she thinks she’s about to get murdered? I mean it’s only natural.”

The same arms that held my body are now holsters for lethal weapons.

Buckets for eyes and holsters for arms. This guy isn’t a human, he’s a Dalí painting.

Juliette asks if they’re about to kill her, and Warner says that he has a proposition for her. 

Is he gonna ask her to be his weapon or some shit.

Chapter 9

Warner Bros. tells Juliette that he’s been studying her for some time and wants her on his team so she can touch his enemies to death or at least intimidate them with the threat of her Bad Touch. 

“What?” A broken whisper of surprise.

Me reading this dumbass book.

“I’d been considering it for a long time, but I wanted to make sure you weren’t actually psychotic. Isolation wasn’t exactly a good indicator, though you did fend for yourself quite well.”

[...]

“I sent Adam to stay with you as a final precaution. I wanted to make sure you weren’t volatile, that you were capable of basic human interaction and communication. I must say I’m quite pleased with the results.”

Yeah, see? Solitary for 260+ days, which is literal psychological torture, didn’t do much to affect Juliette’s mind at all! She’s just so strong!!!

I love how this book acknowledges that “isolation” (SOLITARY CONFINEMENT) isn’t a “good indicator”, but then wiggles out of having Juliette turn out to be actually mentally ill as a result of this anyway. WOULD WANNA HAVE ANY ICKY CRAZIES ON THE CAST NOW, WOULD WE? OH BUT LET’S HAVE HER WAX POETIC ABOUT HOW SHE’S A SHATTERED RAINDROP, THAT’S JUST PRETTY AND DEEP AND CLEAN, NOT LIKE ACTUAL MENTAL ILLNESS.

I hate this fucking book. 

Someone is ripping my skin off.

I fucking wish.

Warner says that since Juliette got so attached to Adam, he’ll basically force Adam to be in charge of her at all times. Juliette angsts about how Adam didn’t actually care about her at all and wah wah, how sad, this boy she met a couple of weeks ago doesn’t actually give a damn about her!

I would excuse this as Juliette getting attached to the first person she meets in a long time, but we’ve already established that she’s not actually very affected by solitary confinement at all -- and her stupid comments about how hot he is don’t fucking help -- so this just feels forced. 

Warner says that if she works for him, she’ll live in luxury like he does.

“But if you choose to disobey? Well . . . I think you look rather lovely with all your body parts intact, don’t you?” 

I’m breathing so hard my frame is shaking. “You want me to torture people for you?” 

His face breaks into a brilliant smile. “That would be wonderful.”

The world is bleeding.

No that’s just my eyes. 

Holy shit, this book is so hilariously edgy and try-hard. We get it, Warner is sexy and morally grey and being evil is hot and Juliette is all sad about having to murder people, no need to clobber us over the head with this nonsense and meaningless, empty imagery.

Like, seriously. What is “the world is bleeding” supposed to convey here? What does this mean to Juliette? What emotion is she trying to describe, what are we supposed to take away from this sentence? What relevance does it even have to the previous information presented?

“Show her what she’s missing, would you?” 

Adam answers a beat too late. “Sir?” 

“That is an order, soldier.” Warner’s eyes are trained on me, his lips twitching with suppressed amusement. “I’d like to break this one. She’s a little too feisty for her own good.”

[...]

“You’re a monster.” My voice is too even, my body filled with a sudden rage. “Why don’t you just kill me?” 

“That, my dear, would be a waste.” He steps forward and I realize his hands are carefully sheathed in white leather gloves. He tips my chin up with one finger. “Besides, it’d be a shame to lose such a pretty face.”

I try to snap my neck away from him but the same steel-toed boot slams into my spine and Warner catches my face in his grip. I suppress a scream. “Don’t struggle, love. You’ll only make things more difficult for yourself.” 

Can’t wait for Warner’s bullshit redemption arc and for Juliette to either literally or figuratively suck his dick later. 

It’s ok though! He [pick an excuse here from the options presented below]

1) feels bad about this

2) is brainwashed

3) has to do it for her own good

4) doesn’t have a choice

5) will be justified later

6) will be forgiven later

Well, whatever. The chapter ends with Juliette being left in Adam’s care. 

I hate this dumb fucking book.

[petepepsi]

My First Fanfiction (AKA: Why Did I Think of This When I was Nine Years Old What the Heck)

A bit of background first:

When I was in like 3rd/4th/5th grade, Phineas and Ferb was the greatest thing in the entire world (followed by Smash Bros and pumpkin pie, respectively). I loved that show more than anything ever.

During this point in my life, I also discovered ~*~the internet~*~. Once on ~*~the internet~*~, it was rather inevitable that I would look up Phineas and Ferb on Google Image Search.

One glorious day, I found a picture I really liked. So, wanting to get a better look, I clicked on it. It was at that point that I discovered something that would change my life forever.

KictserAsh on Deviantart. AKA imaginashon on tumblr, but little wee baby Skyler didn’t know what Tumblr was (thank god). AKA: Literally the Biggest Inspiration in my Whole Damn Life. (and now they work on mml ain’t that neat)

I went through their ENTIRE Phineas and Ferb gallery, loving every single piece. I also found some of their written work, and oh boy you bet little Skyler LOVED that.

So I read like everything on their account. And those stories inspired me. They still do, actually (and so does their art everything they make is really good you should go look at their blog/gallery please).

So here’s where we get into the fanfiction (adding a readmore b/c this is about the get REALLY LONG)

TW: talk of death, and swearing.

To put this story into EXTREMELY simple terms, the plot goes as follows: (sidenote: characters are like 16 in this) Ferb dies, and Phineas’s friends help him get back on his feet afterwards (along with a more supernatural friend).

Now, you’re probably thinking: “Skyler, that’s not too weird of a fanfiction.”

That’s where you’re wrong, but I’ll get to that later.

You see, the story begins at Ferb’s funeral (loosely inspired by the fact that I had recently gone to a funeral, so this was pretty legit). Very well-described, from what I remember. The family gave little speeches, it was nice.

Then, the next chapter was Phineas at home (alone) in his room at like four in the morning. This was when we found out how Ferb died. It was some kind of industrial accident (a giant machine fell on him yikes). It was the “project of the day” that P and F were working on that caused Ferb to fuckin die. This part I remember the least about when it comes to the specifics, but I do remember reading it over again in 7th grade (before the computer I wrote this on became deader than Ferb) and thinking that the scene sounded “vaguely like someone contemplating suicide, but in a more child-friendly way.”

The next chapter took place about a week later, from the perspective of Phineas’s friends (Baljeet, Buford, Isabella, and Django i don’t know why Django was there instead of any other character shut up) They were all going to visit Phineas, because “he hadn’t left his house in over a week” and, apparently, that was very unlike him. So they go up to the house, and there’s a tiny little description of the backyard, where, I shit you not, I wrote: “There was still blood on the grass.”

So cut to later that chapter, and Phin’s pals are trying to help him out, but he’s having none of it. He locked himself in his room, and won’t talk to anyone (except in depressed sighs).

Here comes the best scene of the whole story.

So during this part, Baljeet is very quiet, and I certainly made sure everyone was aware of that (I was never subtle, but then again I was eight). Eventually, Isabella and them give up, and Baljeet gets fucking piiiiissed. In a shocking display of strength, Baljeet BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR IN A FIT OF RAGE. And that’s where the chapter ends.

I can’t remember what happened in the next chapter (I believe it was some silly ghostly shenanigans with Ferb  even back then, i was a “master of comedy”), but the one after that was where the plot happened.

So, being a fourth grader, I had at this point in my life discovered “Ouija Boards.” And little Skyler thought that was so cool, until her mom told her a really spooky story about Ouija Boards, which deeply traumatized little Skyler. Little Skyler, having no way to express her emotions other than writing, decided to use this terrifying experience and turn it into something “nice.”

So the gang uses a Ouija Board to chat with ghost Ferb (never thought I’d write that sentence), and things go all right for a bit.

Key words: a bit.

So Django and Co. leave, and Phineas is home alone once again. Well… he’s not really alone.

Phin grabs the Ouija Board, and (breaking the ONLY RULE GOD DAMMIT PHIN) uses it alone.

Here is where we meet the coolest motherfucker ever. His name?

I have no idea.

I wrote this a long time ago, and his name must’ve been pretty dumb for me to push it out of my mind like that.

For the sake of convenience, his name is Todd (b/c why not).

Now Todd was my first ever OC. He's a ghost who wishes to return to the human realm. I remember him looking like "a strange eight-foot tall vaguely humanoid figure with four ribbon-like appendages protruding from his back. His body was completely black, aside from his eyes which took on the appearance of glittering rubies. Aside from the eyes, his entire body looked to be made of pen scribbles, like someone had scribbled over a picture of someone they disliked and then transformed it into a 3-D image.“

Now, you’re probably thinking, “How the heck was Todd going to return to the human realm?” Well, according to my made-up ghost rules, all he needed was a willing host. The “host" offers you their soul, and you take it, giving you not only a physical form, but a slave for all of eternity! It’s a pretty swell deal, tbh.

So Todd, posing as Ferb (reminder that poor lil Phin can’t see the Eldritch monstrosity that he’s communicating with), tries to convince Phineas to give him his soul (using very different terms).

It’s sorta like “Oh hey yeah, you’re sad, but you can fix everything. You can save me. Then everything will be normal again.” And Phineas, being the “uwu innocent naïve cinnamon roll” totally believes him.

Phineas is about to accept “Ferb”’s deal, when suddenly - WHOOSH! The lil Ouija disk thing flies out of his hand (and out the window), and the board flies up and slams down against the floor (as if someone threw it down there hint hint), shattering on impact.

Now, Phineas is fucking distraught over this, but instead of exploring that shit, I zoomed on over to the next chapter.

Chapter six seven who gives a fuck, begins before the previous chapter, and takes place from Ferb’s perspective (because I remembered that he was a character who existed).

So Ghost Ferb (Gerb? Fost?) is chillin and thinkin about ghost shit, when he “senses the Ouija Board being activated” (b/c that’s a thing ghosts can do). Ferb, thinking “Phineas what the shit you broke the only fucking rule goddammit,” goes to make sure no other spirits are fucking shit up, when lo and behold…

IT’S TODD

So Ferb doesn’t immediately rush in, he stands outside the door thinking, “Who’s this bloke and what does he think he’s doing? I’m gonna go all medieval on his metaphysical ass.”

Ferb listens to his plan (which he is saying out loud because he’s the bad guy), and thinks “Phineas isn’t gonna fall for this.” Then, he hears Phineas agree and he’s like “WHAT THE FUCK, PHINEAS” and then runs in and using his extremely inconsistent influence on the material world, throws the Ouija disk out the window and smashes the board on the floor.

As one could assume, this makes Todd fuckin pissed. However, instead of beating the shit out of Ghost Ferb (b/c really, what would that accomplish?), he leaves, warning Ferb that “he’d be back.”

then i never continued the story the end

Just kidding. Well, not really.

I never actually continued the story (it was at this point I got kinda out of the PnF fandom and more into video game and stuff), but I did have more stuff planned out. But I literally can’t remember any of that shit. And since the computer I wrote this work of art on died, I can’t exactly look it up. But I don’t wanna leave you like this.

So here we have…

the extra shit that i didn’t put into that long-ass description

Django’s speech on the importance of art. This was just kind of a thing that randomly occurred while the gang was on their way to Phineas’s house.

Ferb’s very inconsistent power over the material realm. I’m not exactly sure where I was trying to go wih this, but basically Ferb had some magic powers that let him interact with the physical world (i.e. knocking over stuff, levitation sometimes, etc.). This is sort of a regular ghost thing, but my story had a neat little twist. Ferb could only use this power at the Flynn-Fletcher household, because it only works at the place the ghost considers “home.”

the stuff i never actually wrote in the story itself

So, before I get started on the story parts of this, I should tell you Todd’s Backstory.

Todd was alive back in modern day. He was like one or two years older than Ferb. When he was younger, he was in some sort of academic competition against Ferb and Ferb won. This caused Todd to hate Ferb with a burning passion, and basically create a grudge so strong that only an extremely stubborn crazy determined teenager could hold it.

About a year or so before the story takes place, Todd died in a car accident after a distracting “beam from the sky” caused him to drive into oncoming traffic (It was highly implied that the beam was from one of Phineas and Ferb’s machines can’t believe phineas has a fuckin body count). It is revealed that (using the powers of “evil ghostly revenge”) HE caused the machine to fall on Ferb, and now he plans on getting revenge for Ferb beating him in all those academic competitions.

And yeah, that’s it. My first fanfiction. Hope y'all enjoyed this trip through my eight/ten year old psyche.