#britsh comedy

[hezigler]

Monty Python Communist Quiz sketch

It is an indictment against the British that the members of Monty Python have not been knight. They have been the Beatles of comedy.

[gemsofgreece]

10 best animated movies to watch in Greek

One of the best ways to practice a language is by watching a movie. Even more so, watching an animated movie dubbed in your target language can be really fun and useful, as these movies tend to include jokes (even inside jokes specific to the language) and songs. So, without further ado, here is my personal list of 10 best animated movies to watch in Greek.

10. Shrek 2

The reason I am recommending Shrek 2 instead of Shrek is just because I have the - maybe not standard, but certainly not unpopular - opinion that Sherk 2 is overall a funnier movie than Shrek. The Greek dub maintains successfully all the witty and somewhat adult-oriented humour. The voice casting done for characters like Donkey, Puss in Boots and Gingy is memorable and accurate.

9. Lion King

The voice casting is really good. Adult Simba has a sympathetic voice, Mufasa has a superb kingly radio voice, the hyenas are hysterical, Zazu is funny too, Nala's voice is warm and womanly. I also love Scar's voice. Scar has a sinister voice but it's a weaker, not as “thick” a voice as Mufasa’s, just like Scar relied on the evilness of his mind and not his muscles. Timon and Pumba's dub is iconic. Greek Can you feel the love and Be Prepared are fantastic versions of the songs. And Greek Mufasa just steals every scene vocally, especially those when he appears in Simba's memory.

8. Monsters INC

Another amazing voice casting for all characters but we all (Greeks) know that this is one man's show. Christos Hatzipanayotis just KILLS it as Mike Wazowski. I believe Greek Wazowski is much funnier than the original. Also let's remember "Fovízume yatí sas frondízume" lol the Greek "We scare because we care (for you)"

7. Finding Nemo

This dub did something special with the casting. It casted as Marlin and Dory two actors that had already worked together in a super famous comedy series as a couple. As a result, their chemistry is off the roof and Dimitra Papadopoulou's voice is incredibly accurate for Dory's character. Dory's whale language is hysterical and I also love the incredibly relaxed voice actor they found for that turtle reincarnation of Bob Marley. All other casting is good too, except I want to slap the extremely nasal Nemo.

6. Sleeping Beauty

Although I love this movie dearly and I really like its Greek version, I actually place it that high because I have found it to be really popular with foreign people. Some say they like Aurora's song better in Greek, which I find interesting as I really love the original. It is surely a masterful work though. It is an old movie and the Greek actors speak more elegantly, more sophisticatedly like people tended to, back then. The voices suit properly an aethereal princess and her dreamy prince, the fairies have these warm, elderly, ladylike voices and Maleficent also is imposing and very cold.

5. Aristocats

This is a perfect example where it is clear that both the voice casting directors and the actors worked their asses off. Every actor chosen is simply ideal for their character, including the kittens, Edgar the evil servant, the diva, the super SUPER old lawyer, the tomcats, Lady is so prim and proper, Uncle Waldo and the goose nieces with their Britsh accent Greek lol BUT. I have no idea how it dawned on them to make the dog couple have a comedic Heptanesian island accent but whoever that was, they were a bloody genius. Not only it's impeccably performed, it's twice as hilarious when you see them in an old Parisian environment speaking some really strong Heptanesian out of nowhere. The dogs in the original do not have any particularly heavy accent to my understanding, so if you watch the original after you have watched the Greek, you won't even understand they are supposed to be funny. I love that the Greek directors took the uneventful speech of the dogs and were like "Clearly, we 're gonna make them speak extreme Heptanesian" XD

4. Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron

Spirit has mostly narration and songs, it has very few dialogues. Its songs are amazing though and they really make a difference in the movie. In the Greek dub, both the narrating and singing role was given to singer - actor Yannis Savvidakis who is very talented. Not only he performed those songs wonderfully but I liked how well it maintained the feel of rock ballads coming from America, despite being sung in a language from a place that has nothing to do with any of this.

3. The Emperor's New Groove

Okay, we reached the Golden Triad. The Emperor's New Groove is, simply put, the best Disney comedy to date. If we consider that the Greek version is funnier than the original, as I strongly believe, you get a comedy for the ages. The voice casting is PERFECT. Every voice chosen is like it was created for the character, the characters get life and personality through the vocal performances. Kuzco sounds blasé, egocentric, sarcastic and you want to slap him silly, Kronk sounds like a soft dumbass himbo which is what he is, Pacha is your everyday good-hearted peasant, Yzma is killing it as the old ambitious narcissist. The humour is awesome and tranferred ideally into Greek comedy. It just works on every level. I can't explain it more, it's just perfect. While this movie is unfairly obscure and underrated on a global level, in Greece it was a hit and people still remember quotes by heart, exactly beause the dub was so god-tier level.

2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Okay. The dub of dubs. The Dub of Notre Dame. Seriously, this is a masterpiece on every aspect. Again, this is better than the original. Esmeralda has a sensual, really beautiful speaking voice and an outstanding singing one (Alcestis Protopsalti y'all), Frollo has an ideal casting in that he sounds like a bad person but in a totally realistic way (as he is also a very realistic villain) and he sounds so very sophisticated, very elegant. Sinister and elegant, which makes total sense as in the Disney version he is the supreme justice minister of Paris. Quasimodo is voiced by Sakis Rouvas (a sexy singer with a soft voice), who a few found like a somewhat odd pairing but it works perfectly since Disney's Quasimodo is soft, sensitive and considerably sophisticated as well. Clopin's singing is done by tenor Konstantinos Paliatsaras. The songs in the Greek version are in my opinion better performed than in English. Hellfire is quite possibly the most loved villain song in Greece. A small example to understand the level of perfection; the intro song "Bells of Notre Dame" has an extremely difficult ending note that only a few versions globally managed to hit. Even the original singer struggles with the note, he hits it but a little weakly, he is very supported and almost covered by backing vocals. In other versions, even this is not possible at all and singers just skip the note. The Greek version by Paliatsaras is one of the very few where the note is hit correctly, he essentially rips it apart, but I think it is also the only version (unless something escapes me) where the lyrics were different in a way that it made a difference to the singing. All versions I have heard are a variation of the original "bells, bells, bells, bells" which prepares the crescendo / raise of the pitch and then, "of notre DAAAAAME". Greek is the only version I have listened to where a full sentence is delivered effortlessly, without a repetition of "bells". "Ke ihún pandú kambánes stin karthyá tis panaYAAAAAS". It's a full sentence instead of a convenient one-syllable word over and over. Of course, it had to be done because the word for bells in Greek (kambánes) wouldn't work but it still was a harder thing to deliver than the repetition and it was accomplished even better. Okay, in short, Oscar worthy dub. Perfect in every way. I am in love with it, you can tell. The only reason it is not first is because the first spot had to be saved for the obvious one.

1. Hercules

The obvious first spot. Of course, it doesn't take it without deserving it. Greeks really made sure to give this one even more attention to detail. So, it doesn't only feel like it's natural, it also IS the most natural one, as contemporary languages go. All voice casting is once more ideal. Hercules, or Heracles as he is of course in Greek, has a sensitive, warm, sympathetic voice. They did a great thing with Megara when they gave the role to Evridiki who has a more mature, seasoned voice which fits Megara's character and not like a girly, princessy, out-of-place voice. Famous comedian Lakis Lazopoulos steals the show in all his scenes and they are MANY, since he plays Philoktetes and Pain AND Panic, all three of them! But he can't steal the scenes where Hades is in, as Konstantinos Tzoumas is in reality the big star of the movie. First and foremost, you watch this movie for Hades. One more fantastic detail in my opinion is what they did with the Muses. So you know, the original movie Muses are singing a liberal style of American gospel. Instead of ditching it as unfitting and entirely inaccurate, the Greek directors played along with it. Most notably, one of the Muses is voiced by Julie Massino, a vocal coach and singer born and raised in the US (I don't know if she has Greek descent) who lives and works in Greece, so she has a natural and strong American accent in her Greek! I just found this so cool. It is a really cool dub. They knew the stakes were very high and they delivered down to the very last detail.

*We really had to title this: Heracles - Beyond the Myth...!

[adventure-showdown]

#regeneration Libirations and the Korven should be winng this#this is the battle of the K9 pilots#one of them is K9 and Sarah Jane do Hot Fuzz but played straight and not as comedy#and the other (Regerations) is like K9 regenerates (time lord style) and now he has to fight cops becauseACAB#the fascist british government sends it best agents to capture and kill K9 and his good pal Starky (noted cyberterrorist#and Guerrilla revolutionary)#vote for the kids show which tells you ACAB#it also tells you the Britsh government is just itching to get its hands On a new empier anyway they can (@familyparadox)

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 2 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

K9 and Company

Synopsis

Sarah Jane Smith is looking forward to a quiet Christmas with her aunt Lavinia in the sleepy village of Moreton Harwood. When she arrives, she finds her aunt missing and a surprise gift from an old friend waiting to be opened.

Sarah, K9 and her aunt's ward, Brendan Richards, are caught up in the affairs of a mysterious cult who practise the black arts and are preparing for a human sacrifice.

Propaganda

the episode itself may be dull, but the theme tune, it deserves to win for that alone (anonymous)

Regeneration/Liberation/The Korven

Synopsis

In 2050 London, Starkey and Jorjie are trying to escape the police. They take refuge in a large detached house, the residence of reclusive scientist Professor Alistair Gryffen and a robot dog named K9. After the battle with the Jixen, K9 performs a costly sacrifice that forces him to regenerate into a brand new body, but his mind may not have weathered the process.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

[schlock-luster-video]

Today in satirical science fiction movie history: on May 30, 1985 Terrry Gilliam's Brazil debuted in Argentina.

Here's some art to mark the occasion!

[asleepdepriveddumbass]

Hello yes

I need a very posh British hangover esc movie w Jack Whitehall and Jack Cutmore-Scott playing Brothers

...that is all

[lovefleabagandthepriest]

Just started watching the first episode of BBC Three comedy from 2010+

Him & Her

& Russell Tovey is adorable and funny!

Been watching lots of Andrew Scott stuff over the last month and a half due to Fleabag Season 2, obvi, 😊 👍and this / Russell Tovey comedy stuff seems kind of similar / or like six degrees of separation related things to watch, and actors that are in the same projects

Sooo new show potentially for me to binge on 😄 🙌✨

Roll on episode 2 ✌️🍿🖥

[ohneweiterebedeutung]

Sometime early this year the lovely and seemingly endlessly patient @jcamilov06 tagged me to showcase twelve favourite shows with gifs

In no particular order and preselected by tumblr-gif-availability (thank you lovely gif-makers on here, thank you very, very much!♥♥♥):

@vodeaare @schnaf @hannobehrens @schoefisch @nevensubaetic @sifflet :) @ramosalaplaya (...) @berg-gry @matchlessfootball @eafay70 please ♥

[frankierogothdad]

There's nothing as dumb and brainless as The Mighty Boosh but it's early 2000s nonsense british comedy and it's not everyone's cup of tea. There's a couple of live shows on youtube if you want to give it a shot without the commitment (Live at Brixton, Future Sailors Tour) and the series has standalone episodes anyway.

the mighty boosh is PEAK dumb British comedy I absolutely love it!! Thank you!!

[crushondonald]

"Daniel, will you please turn around and take me to the station? I wish to go back to London."

"I'm not takin' you back to the station to go back to London. You're staying with me."

"I don't care how good your surprise is, nothing is worth a ride like this."

"You know what your problem is, Brett? You're getting soft. Living in London is doing it to you, making you a softy. You stick with me, 'cause the surprise I'm gonna show you is gonna knock your eyes out."

"Well, that shouldn't be difficult, you've shaken them loose already."

TONY CURTIS and ROGER MOORE having fun on the set while filming an episode of the classic Britsh action-comedy series THE PERSUADERS! in 1971.

[total-distraction-babes]

I was tagged by @dear-goodbye Thank you for the tag!

Do you make your bed? Yes, well sort of haha I usually sleep on the floor (don’t judge me, I like it.) but I fold my bedding up and put it somewhere. I think it’s important to make your bed, back when I slept in my bed every night I still made sure to make it. 

Your favourite number?  When I’m asked I usually say “4″ but I don’t really have a favourite. 

If you could go back to school, would you?  Nooooo. I mean, maybe? If I could go back and be a better and smarter person, then I would like to go back and do a few things differently but while I liked school for the most part I was also a really messed up person mentally and made a few mistakes. 

Can you parallel park? 

A job you had that would surprise people? Uhh...? I don’t know. I used to do a paper route for years. Some might find that surprising. It wasn’t a bike one like you see on TV, it was in a car. My brother or mom would drive and I would fold. It surprises people how much I can carry because I grew up hauling bundles haha.

Do you think aliens are real? Yes. It is a vast and ever-expanding universe. To think we are the only ones is ridiculous. And I would 10/10 go on an adventure with an alien if they asked.

Can you drive manual? See gif above 😆

Guilty pleasure? I don’t think I have any? I try not be guilty of the things I like. I guess if I had to pick one it would eating waaay too many Hot Cheetos while watching a documentary or drama and playing on my phone. 

Tattoos? None. I don’t think I could ever commit to one. I have decided if I ever have to get one I would get either “Thoschei” in small print or a simple letter “a” to say, “Yes, I do have A tattoo.” but then I found out Harry Judd had the same idea haha

Favourite colour? Purple. I love it. I love all colours really, red is another one I love and wear a lot. I have grown to have a love of yellow as well. Blue and green are also pretty. I do like all the colours but purple is my favourite. Perfect place for a Jason Orange joke.

Favourite type of music? AHHH! NOOOO!!! Don’t make me choose. I love all music. It’s all brilliant! Currently, I’ve gotten back into 80s synthpop and have been listening to loads of Human League but I do love all music. Country, rock, pop, punk, electronic, DJ mixes, jazz, classical. You name it, I’ll listen to it. 

I do have a soft spot for the late 60s through the late 80s and swing music though. Those are the ones I go to if I don’t know what I want to listen to. 

Things people do that drive you crazy? Litter. I don’t see the point or why anyone would do that. When people belittle others. When people make excuses for their significant other instead of leaving them or trying to change things. When people kill insects because they make them uncomfortable. When people go trophy hunting. When people are abusive. Keeping other people in slavery. There are lots but I know most humans are mostly good people trying their best so I trust that we are heading in the right direction.

Do you like doing puzzles? I like doing crosswords occasionally or sudoku but I’m not a massive fan of jigsaw puzzles. It would be fun to do with friends though as long as no one was too serious about it, you know?

Any phobias? I like to say I have three fears: heights, clowns and Gary Barlow.

On a more emotional note, I fear myself most of all. I fear I’ll never be able to escape from this life. I fear I’ll go back to hating myself. I fear I’ll go back to hurting myself. I fear I’ll ruin everything again. I fear I’ll go back to self-sabotaging and bring everything down with me. The biggest threat to my life, safety and happiness is myself. How can I not be afraid of that?

But that’s a bit heavy and would get me weird looks at a dinner party so heights, clowns and Gary Barlow it is.

Do you talk to yourself? “I love talking to myself, it’s the only sure way I’ll get to have an interesting conversation.” I like to talk to myself or sometimes I’ll monologue quietly to myself while walking, it’s good to get the clutter of thoughts out.

Favourite childhood sport? afjkfjkbsvjdkbsig sport??? I never liked or played any sports. I did use to bowl while my siblings were in a bowling league but I hated the noise. Also didn’t like going to my siblings’ basketball, softball and baseball games. I did enjoy trying to play badminton or tennis back when we had a net in our yard. I was never very good at it though. 

What movie do you adore? Music & Lyrics. I swear that movie was made for me. Had to be. It’s too perfect in every single way. I relate to the leading lady so much that when my friends kept talking about how adorable and great she is, it made me realise I was adorable and great. 

It’s about a writer who likes older men (not specified but come on, if you’ve seen it you’ll understand) who meets a struggling Britsh ex-popstar who can only write music and she can only write lyrics. And it stars Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. The soundtrack is amazing and it’s one of the few romantic comedies where I actually fully believe the couple gets to live happily ever after. They are MADE for each other. I’ve loved it for years. And now I have to rewatch it haha. Seriously, it’s great. I don't think anyone could love me and not love that movie. 

Coffee or tea? TEA. TEEEEAAAAA. TEA. Tea all the way. Tea is amazing. I love it. I have like 40 different kinds right now. I drink it every day. I briefly had to choose between giving up tea and feeling faint sometimes and I chose tea. Luckily my iron levels are good again so take a fucking sip, babes. We’re drinking tea morning, noon and night. I’ve got a tea for anything. I even have teas I reserve for emotional situations. Herbal tea makes the world go around and if you are my friend and even remotely open to drinking tea I will have you drink multiple different kinds and ask you a hundred questions about them. God, I love tea. I would rather die than not have tea. Thank you to all the people who grow, package and sell tea. Thank you to all the people who have worked to make tea what it is today. I want to volunteer on a tea plantation and learn about how to grow it, harvest it and everything that needs to happen to make tea. Tea is the real love of my life to be honest. Sorry future comedy partner. Sorry to my future lovers. Tea has always been there for me and will always be there for me. If I have to die, let it be with the taste of tea on my lips.

So, yeah. Tea.  

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? When I was really young, 3 or 4 (maybe even younger?) I wanted to be a dancer. I wanted to go to France and learn ballet and other traditional dances. I thought they were beautiful, motivated and talented. I wanted to be like them. But my parents would never let me go to a boarding school for dance in France much to my disappointment wah. I blame my childhood obsession of Madeline to be the reason I wanted to go to a boarding school in France to be honest. I don’t know if that had much to do with the dancing but that was 4 year old me’s vision of the future xD 

I will take a dance class in France one day, though. Even if it’s only a one day class. It’s happening. It’s inevitable.

This was long so if you read all of it, thank you! And thank you again for tagging me!! 💙💗💚

I’m tagging: @how-the-mighty-fall @cry3tearslikej3t @jtgd-dylm​ @effulgentcorruptedpov @obv10usly @blueberry-beanie @slowlygettingouttamyhead2 @bloggish @asparagus-is-in-season and anyone else who wants to do this. I want to know more about other people’s lives and inner thoughts. (I know some people have already been tagged or will be tagged twice but oh well hahaha) 

[dykepaldi]

i know that Every Britsh Actor Ever has been in doctor who but i just watched a comedy called w1a that seemed to have an entire cast of minor dw actors. meaning, joan redfern, psi, dorothea ames, the captain from 'the curse of the black spot', the mum of the girl from 'fear her', and a guy who was in 'tooth and claw', all working together in a bbc office, with the tenth doctor narrating. it was weird.

oh, and a tardis in the background at one point.

[outsidersmusic]

”The Music Room”

by Belbury Poly featuring Moon Wiring Club

--

Hauntology is one of my favorite sub-genres of experimental music. The term might sound artsy for some. None the less, the music by Belbury Poly is a treat for anyone who loves Electronic music from the UK. “The Music Room” by Poly featuring fellow UK electronic artist Moon Wiring Club is a recent new single. 

The track begins with warped sounds but the tempo picks up soon after. The synths loom in the background giving the track an eerie coolness. A common trait of hauntological music is nostalgia. For me, “The Music Room” could be a show tune or a theme for a silent comedy film. The song ends in traditional Belbury Poly style which consists a sample of, presumably, an old Britsh television program. 

This is entry is slightly different from what I usually post. But for anyone who loves electronic music and wants something different, give this track a shot. 

Enjoy!

[happylittlebeing]

This dude is hilarious and his podcast is fucking brilliant.  If you like fast-paced humour, check out The Andy Field Experience on BBC Radio 1 through the Kench Podcast  He is completely random

[robertomasi71]

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Bloody fool! You should never mix your drinks! #withnailandi #richardegrant #paulmcgann #1987 #britsh #black #comedy #film

[mikethemod]

Track Thursday

Tonight we are marathon training at the athletics track in Norman Park in Bromley. This is my hour, the hour when I am at peace in my mind, the hour that flies by without a single unwanted thought or worry. My first ever visit to an athletics track was in 1976 at Erith, the home of Bexley Borough Athletic Club. Peter White was gliding silently and effortlessly over the cinder surface. I say effortlessly, but I soon came to realise he was actually hurting inside. Ever since that day I have had this love/hate relationship with the orange oval - love being there, hate the nerves before a race. Here is a photo of the early days, probably a Kent Colts and Boys League meeting with Blackheath Harriers, Bexley, Medway and Ashford. I’m no 1 on the inside lane, tucking into the pack.

Anyway back to marathon training. Tonight we will have about 40 Petts Wood Runners arriving between 7:30pm and 8pm. There will be much nervous chatter about what the evening session will have in store for them. Many of our group will not have not ventured onto a track since their school days - and, as they walk across the park towards the home straight, their initial thoughts may well be that they don’t want to go near one again. And this is because they will be watching the wonderful Britsh Olympic Finalist Sprinter Dinah Asher-Smith going through her paces under the eagle eye of coach John Blackie. His sprint group is second to none in this country, and boys and girls with very powerful physiques skate down the track.

At 8pm, as the Blackheath and Bromley National Cross Country Champion girls leave the track, we gather together by the finish line. During marathon prep we drop the running form drills and start the session with a 15 min tempo run. This is a run of 15 mins around the track at a pace the athletes find it just about comfortable to talk at. As each lap passes, I will call out either their equivalent 10k time or their marathon time. This is to ensure that every week they get to run at their own marathon pace at least once. A schoolboy/girl error would be to turn up on marathon race day and start off too fast! But no one does that do they?!!! 

We have a wide range of abilities, with Parkrun 5k times of 37 mins to 16 mins, so by the end of the 15 mins some will have run 10+ laps while others will be on lap 6. When the 15 min whistle blows to signal the end of the tempo run, the runners all make their way to the finish line to start the session. At this point they should feel very ready to train and not be bending over with their hands on their knees. Tonight’s session is 5x1k (2 1/2 laps of the track) with 90 secs recovery. The slower runners will do 5x800m. As the intervals are 2 1/2 laps long, the runners will stop at either the finish line or just before the last bend and the scene can then become a confusing blur of runners. I will stand and observe the running gait of those who pass me and I will amble around the inside of the track, in the opposite direction of the runners, giving them cues to improve their running efficiency. As the session continues the talking will subside, the faces will become drawn and the coughing and spluttering will become more ugly. The runners’ steps will become heavier - until they near me when, all of a sudden, they lighten again ;-).

As the session comes to a close, the runners will have their hands on their knees or they will be draped over the fences. Within 45 seconds, however, as we begin a collective cool-down stretch and Paul Whelan starts his one-man comedy act, smiles will return and everyone will start discussing the upcoming ‘Sunday long run’. Runners will then make their way back to the car park as the floodlights are switched off.

[matchboxguns]

Can You Hear Me?

(I wrote this a few years and a few versions of me ago)

There’s this book called The Science of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, which is actually more about science than it is about The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. What the book (let’s call it The Science) did was to examine some fictional tech-y stuff in the novel (let’s call it The Guide) and use it to discuss and explore current trends and developments in science and technology in the real world. There’s even a chapter in The Science about quantum mechanics.

- SIDENOTE: The Guide is a sci-fi/comedy novel by English (or is it Britsh? Not sure) writer Douglas Adams. It tells the story of one Arthur Dent and his interstellar misadventures after planet Earth was demolished to make way for a “hyperspace bypass” –

There is one chapter in The Science that was about the Babel Fish: a fictional yellow fish in The Guide which is also something that the characters put inside their ears for them to understand alien languages. That chapter went on to talk about actual computer translators we have and the difficulty, or if not, the impossibility of words to be accurately and faithfully translated in other languages. Case in point: there is a bunch of foreign words and phrases that, while they can be explained using another language, like in Mongolian, they do not have any exact counterpart in the Mongolian language. The idea or the definition of the word can be translated, but the word itself cannot.

Just as languages differ in all parts of the world, so are our ways of knowing the world, seeing it, interpreting it, and how we use words to identify, describe and remember it. So perhaps most of the time the words are translated but the idea is not there anymore, like trying to translate a sentence word by word by word it starts to lose its meaning. Or, the idea is there, but the manner of designating words to it is so infuriating it kind of makes translating it futile in the first place. Like German philosophical texts translated to English. Same goes to any translated texts discussing Marxist principles. Seriously, I dare you to read them.

Not only that, we have our own biases too – we have different tastes, interests, upbringing, and reactions to One Direction songs. Everything about everybody is personalized; each with varied appearances and distinct flavors, so we follow our own rules in using words, for the most part.

These two things then brought about, in my view, one of the most important things we have to deal with on a daily basis: understanding. If you don’t believe me and you want a concrete example, please refer to John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and all of the relationship books that tell you how to better understand your lover by knowing what they actually mean when she says, “I’m fine” or when he says, “It doesn’t matter.” Or better yet, refer to the times when you said or someone said to you, “Huh?” or “What did you say?” or “What do you mean by that?” The hard part is, there’s no Babel Fish to help us, and most of the time we are left to our own devices.

I have to grapple with this problem every time I have to explain a certain topic or a certain case to our professors (Socratic Method, by the way, is a fun way to die inside). I would say, for instance, that “double jeopardy cannot be applicable in the situation you gave, sir, because of these reasons…” but somehow the disgruntled professor, probably because of the words I used and how I used them, thought I had a different answer and proceeded to call me a moron. See what I mean? You tell someone something thinking he understood the point only to find out you were wrong.

John tells Jane something about power tools in great detail and intense passion only to find out later that Jane is a) annoyed and confused because she didn’t get it; b) zoned out and started doodling toothed spiders, or; c) went out for lunch because she couldn’t care less. The part that you know and want to say to another person that gets entangled with words and your personal limits is the “lost” in “lost in translation”; there is an invisible, almost impenetrable barrier between what you are trying to say and what the other person is hearing.

Which brings me to today. While I was having some small talk with the guys I’m sharing an apartment with, for some reason brought up the fall of the USSR as a topic. I basically volunteered to explain what I can remember about it, and I got the impression that either they didn’t quite get it or they just didn’t care. I’m not really sure, though. I couldn’t tell from the look on their faces.

If they didn’t care, I don’t blame them. We have different styles, varied tastes, and sometimes diverging interests. I mean, I really can’t get behind sports, cars and math. We only pay attention to the things we know and approve of so much that we start to have difficulties understanding everything else. And it’s fine. We don’t have to know and understand things we don’t normally pay attention to unless it’s a matter of life and death, so no losses there.

If they did care but didn’t get my little spiel, still I don’t blame them for it. I am notoriously known for metaphorically eating words (which, by the way, metaphorically tastes like a metaphorical grape), which means that every time I talk it sounds like there’s a muffler jammed in my throat area.

Which is funny, because I have this mental picture of an idea of myself happily drowning in symmetrical abstractions and mind-shattering statements and that I’ll be able to explain all of it with clarity and conviction to anybody. But then, reality happens: so little words, if any, come at all. It’s a hardcore “sound and fury” moment, when I think about it. Two possibilities exist: either my communication skills are whack, or I am a faulty computerized translator – I understand what I understand, but turning them into things other people would understand, well, that’s where the glitch is at. Maybe I’m both.

It’s just not only in my words; it’s in my actions as well. Earlier tonight I was watching one of the guys who had the misfortune of hearing me talk about the Soviet Union and another guy play volleyball. Just the two of them. It’s not an uncommon occurrence seeing people play volleyball on the streets on this side of the planet.

Anyway, I was in high spirits (which, surprisingly, does not happen to me very often) so I started goofing off. Then one of the guys, the one who was with me when I talked about the USSR, snapped, telling me, “but you’re a law student.” He was implying that I should be a formal, reserved, brilliant ice king, like every great lawyer that ever existed, not like the incontinent freakshow with a bad posture and possibly a speech impediment dancing like an electrocuted giraffe right before his eyes. Funny thing is, I didn’t think I was being immature or anything. I just wanted to enjoy my otherwise lackluster night.

It’s probably just that most of the time you think you’re doing something or saying something this way, but the whole world sees you doing or saying it that way. Maybe some of us won’t mind that because they generally don’t give a damn about anything, but at some point we’re all going to have to reach out to others. “Man, by nature, is a political animal,” or “Homo Politicus,” as my college lanyard would put it. We’ve been hardwired to connect, to reach out to somebody. And in order to truly connect, we’ve got to understand. But I guess there would always be a dichotomy between how you see yourself and how the world sees you.