#british kristen having a thing for fabian?

[pinkb00bsocks]

this side of the table never misses

[soullessduck13]

I think one of my favourite things to think about is the bad kids are all different races and can speak different languages, and how that affects them/the people around them, and maybe I just like thinking about them switching to a different language or not being able to fully speak one language when tired etc

Idk how it is for people who have grown up in one place but spoken a different language at home, at least not fully, but I do know what it’s like learning a different language at a young age and then befriending and talking to people who speak it as their native language.

Long post

Riz and Adaine are the most interesting to me, because I think Goblin is such a complex and different language compared to most others, it includes a lot of hissing, grunts, growls, ear movement and facial expressions and I think that it was the only language Riz knew until he started school, and he quickly picked up on common because Pok and Sklonda started speaking it with him too, I think it’s easier for goblin children to let out garbled noises than form full sentences and I don’t know if this makes sense but just hear me out.

Then obviously, Riz speaks more common than anything else, but during spring break Sophomore Year he hisses instead of telling someone to fuck off and it was much easier, basically meant the same thing to it’s just that no one understood, and then in Junior Year whenever he’s annoyed, stressed, etc etc he just hisses and growls and glares and I think the others tried to learn but it’s a complex language!! It’s very difficult to learn the difference between one hiss and another one.

ADAINE!! She has an accent (british) and had a hard time learning Common, not because it was hard to learn but because her family wouldn’t let her? She had tutors from Fallinel growing up and then around 8-9 she started learning common but didn’t get any real practice until around 11, the accent is noticeable when she talks but it’s not something anyone points out. She also loses her words a lot? Confuses how to word sentences exactly because it’s different in Elvish, mixes up different sayings, forgets words entirely too (me core). Sometime during Freshman Year she starts speaking exclusively Common with her family and now she only really speaks Elvish during combat and Aelwyn/sometimes Fig.

Fabian can’t speak Elvish, but he can understand it. Hallariel was most of time too drunk to properly teach him, but I imagine Cathilda tried and Bill would sometimes mention something to Hallariel in Elvish, it’s very like,, “Yeah I can understand all of it, but I can’t speak it fluently” and I think he wants to try after getting more connected to his mother’s side of the family.

Fig spoke Elvish growing up, but she started going to Daycare pretty early and speaks Common just as fluently as anyone else, but she slips into it whenever talking to her mom or Gilear. At least before the horns grew in, after that she stopped speaking Elvish as a form of rebellion, but she picked it back up in Sophomore year. I think she’s the least likely to confuse words and she often helps Adaine with words in Common whenever she loses them.

Gorgug cannot speak orcish, he can barely understand it. But he can speak Gnomish and it has surprised people more times than he can count. Again, he can’t fully speak Gnomish, mostly bc Digby and Wilma spoke Common with him growing up, but I think he can read it because a lot of their instructions and books are in Gnomish so he just learned how to recognise letters and words and string them together into sentences. Digby and Wilma stopped speaking Gnomish bc they cut the rest of their family off to protect Gorgug btw

Kristen can only speak Common and before going to Aguefort she was upset about it because she couldn’t preach to the people who could not understand, now she’s upset because she can’t properly gossip with her friends.

[amorhedera6]

the bad kids as pixie hollow fairies

psa: i’ve only seen the movies and i haven’t read the books, so if you’re a book person pls bear with me.

gorgug thistlespring - tinker fairy

tinker fairies are known for ingenuity and creation. they make all kinds of tools and contraptions to help their friends lives easier. they mend things, create things, and their signature color is green. it just makes sense.

kristen applebees - light fairy

also fairly obvious. with kristen’s connection to the sun through her family and the moon through tracker, this one was bound to be. light fairies can bend sun or moonlight, keep pixie hollow aglow, and are known to make rainbows. the mechanics of species don’t exactly line up, but i could see a young kristen being a sunlight fairy, devoted to keeping the sun filtering in the direction it was meant to and keeping everything a light. a growing kristen would work instead with the moonlight, training fireflies, and keeping a lantern of moonlight that keeps darkness from being threatening.

fabian seacaster - water fairy

he lives in a boat, people. what else was there? water fairies and manipulate water, shape it, control it, and also are often found seeking boats in the waters. they can create fountains and communicate with water-animals, often assisting fish and tadpoles in learning how to swim. imagine the hangman as a fish. come on.

fig faeth - animal fairy

animal fairies are known to interact with and feel the emotions of any animals in pixie hollow. they are also known to be the most emotional fairy type, as they are feeling others emotions. they help animals reach the mainland and are skilled trackers. fig’s constantly summoning animals (sexy rat, the daymare), comparing herself with animals (the “german shepherd” mode), connecting with animals (giving a dog a bardic at the black pit, the pet oyster that she supposedly carried around for weeks in freshman year) or pretending to be an animal (orangutan at loam farm), and i think that the mask gorgug gifts her for moonar yulenear is an extension of that. fig’s very very caring for all her friends, and i think that would easily extend over to animals.

riz gukgak - fast flying fairy

fast flying fairies have control over winds, can create breezes, go up to triple the speed of a normal fairy. they also carry bigger wings, which might, in turn, make them look smaller. such speed would be incredibly helpful for stealth, when trying to get away from someplace and hide quickly. i think riz would fit will here as someone who’s constantly running around searching clues, not sleeping, doing the most that he can. he needs extra speed to keep up.

adaine abernant - frost fairy

i think adaine being a winter fairy makes a lot of sense, with her family being ambassadors from fallinel. maybe the winter fairies are just british. a forst fairy can create frost from their fingertips, or if they are particularly skilled they can conjure it from anywhere. they can freeze plant life, make icicles, and need to keep cold in order to live. with adaine pulling a wand of frost out of her jacket in freshman year, her personal connection to basrar’s ice cream shop, and her most prominent color being blue (the school uniform of hudol, her denim jacket, her eyes, her sword, her character art even has her magic depicted as blue), i think she makes a perfect frost fairy.

i have no idea what kind of story this would make, but i love it. like a small flock of fairies accidentally getting lost, leaving pixie hollow, and having to find their way back from neverland while accidentally fighting a dragon? idk i just love them thanks

[jadeinretrogrde]

My Favorite Fantasy High Things

Lassos on Night Yorbs and straight British Kristen

Bitter Copperkettle and maximum legend

Complicated women podcasting

These are a few of my favorite things

Vultures with go-pros and oodles of strudels

Bad baby milk and tartar sauce in the pool

Goddesses with secret names

These are a few of my favorite things

Wanda Childa death scene productions

Buttered ramps and presidential shrimp jumpin’

Pirate ships that fly and dildo washing machines

These are a few of my favorite things

When the rage crystal bites

When Gertie’s bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Jace I don’t feel good and loser says what

See you at Basrar’s and honor the cock

It’s all love now and Lucy Frostblade

These are a few of my favorite things

Declarations of love written through time and space

The last stand exam and notify anyway

I don’t know if you heard me I said blimey

These are a few of my favorite things

Hey girlie and love exclusively to cats

There are no grounds and a flute for summoning rats

Four different dogs and you suck at pvp

These are a few of my favorite things

When the ancestral curse bites

When the stress token stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Do you have a fucking warrant and cold mango soda

Banks that give you your nemesis quota

Badidas and Zac Oyama DM-ing

These are a few of my favorite things

Fabian hit me and ice feast fiasco

Squeem with cortados and Riz chain-smoking tobacco

Ally Beardsly with a natural twenty

These are a few of my favorite things

Merry Moonar Yulnear and a barrel of diamonds

A ghostly rouge teacher and cowboy salsa hats for dining

Briefcase dimensions with your ex playing games

These are a few of my favorite things

When the spy's tongue curse bites

When the pride armor stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite fantasy high things

And then I don't feeeeeel soooo bad

[ominous-horse-noises]

final finale thoughts!!

things i loved about the finale

QUEER GODDESS PATHEON YEAAAAAAH!!! i thought it was such a good way to find a happy medium between kristen committing to a worldview that felt authentic and nuanced without being catholic™ about it

everything to do with the scene of Ankarna trying to offer retribution to each of the bad kids, and each of them making peace with past wrongs instead of continuing to stew in it. i love growth!!!

FIG AND KRISTEN MIRRORING ANKARNA AND CASSANDRA

everything to do with mazey and fabian. of all the fantasy high couples aside from fidayda, these two feel the most like they make sense together- they have similar interests, they have similar values, fabian had a crush on her even when she was being 'uncool' (eg. twister) and how mazey actually picked up on that and appreciated the way he used his perceived coolness to extend it to others who might be picked on otherwise. this is the couple i most hope go the distance even post aguefort adventuring academy (again, aside from figayda ofc but i literally cannot imagine those girls breaking up over anything)

fabian's fetus sibling outnemesising him despite fabian building an animosity towards them the whole season before they were even conceived. peak fantasy high insanity

controversial but i thought the maryann/gorgug being introduced and canonised in all of 15 minutes was hilarious. it was very teen of them in a way that felt authentic. my ideal scenario for them is an end of year fling that becomes amicable exes bc they truly have nothing in common beyond thinking the other is hot (real of them) but i dont have a strong opinion on whether they should break up or not

also maybe controversial but i like that kalina is straight up bloodthirsty. she felt like an equal opposite to bakur- rather than being a devoted servant who became corrupted by proxy, she was trying to corrupt her deity into a form she preferred. thematically it extends to the complementary opposites thing ankarna and cassandra have going on (though i get it might be a reach).

"... thats a four. you know what it's for we don't have to talk about it"

squeem

riz coming in clutch with the character arc right at the last moment. i joked ab his neuroticism being part of his natural swag, but im glad murph not only made sure riz FINALLY addressed the way he was burning himself out, but also that by extension, he was burning out both fig and kristen bc riz has a very calculated idea of 'success' and while he had the best intentions, those two dont fit neatly into it

THE HOLD PERSON OVER THE LAVA??? RIZ'S 'very good on paper, but no practical application."??? i screamed

a second blimey-related divine intervention roll by K2 leading her to getting pinnochioed into a real straight british girl, in real non-dnd britain, is the best thing thats ever happened in fantasy high. a simulacrum was so powerful brennan had to do the dnd equivalent of sending her to a barn upstate.

adaine and aelwyn talking about killing their mother over icecream can be something that is so personal...

siobhan's incredible play with the earworm??? phenomenal, i gasped out loud

fig maybe moving into fabian's house even after she drops out so fabian won't be alone again... what if i threw up blood actually

i liked kipperlilly copperkettle being confirmed to be rotten to the core. 'the ritual looks very different when one accepts rage willingly' GOOD!!! i like evil ambitious teenage girls who try to burn the world down to get what they want. i get why they didnt bring her back, that detail definitely cemented her as in the zayne/penelope category of 'past villains who could possibly be redeemed'

FIG AND AYDA MY LOVES!!! sorry but not even the lesbian goddesses are doing it like these two. brennan put his whole pussy into creating ayda aguefort and my life has been changed forever

zac once again dming K2's alternate universe campaign

things i hated

ik it was payoff to the running bit and it made me cackle when it was revealed, but the implications of hallariel and gilear having a baby are so bad to me. fig talks up gilear a lot, and sure, he came around to being a good dad to her, but gilear has objectively been a shit stepdad to fabian and hallariel... is hallariel. its got to sting was watch your mom be basically catatonic for your entire life, and then suddenly prove that she was capable of being an present mother the whole time- just not for you. im hopeful that senior year will address this though!! lou has always been so good giving his characters' weighty emotional arcs that feel satisfying

i dont like the implication of trackerbees getting back together. i never thought bladebees was good beyond a realistic rebound, but trackerbees was SO codependent together, i dont think its a coincidence that kristen had her best emotional intelligence moments when forced to think things through on her own. tracker always struck me as kind of a 'fixer' type, like she feels most comfortable with someone she can act caretaker-y to (hence bouncing off kristen to another girl who had similar issues). i really reaaaally hope they dont regress back into their s2 dynamic

ruben's memory wipe. i thiiink the implication is that those who were the most willing to follow through on porter's orders maintained more of their memories bc they were in control of themselves and those who didn't were compelled into obedience (which might be why ivy and oisin remember more), but it wouldve been nice to actually see the lucy/ruben close friendship brennan said they had with him sobbing and apologising to her

it felt very weird that kristen didnt get some kind of resolution to her yearlong gentle prodding at bucky?? i think ally got sidetracked with the possibility of kristen getting back together with her ex that it kind of slipped from their mind (maybe bc to them the ankarna vision of her upbringing was kristen resolving her feelings towards her family but still), but considering all of elmville was coming apart, i feel like bucky's faith could've been swaying into doubt pretty easily. idk maybe bc ive become a trackerbees hater over the season but it felt annoying that that was what ally focused in on and not their character's more meaningful relationship with her little brother

[pliablehead]

one of those tiktoks that’s like a bunch of people talking to the camera at the start of the party but it’s like—

“hi, I’m—real, original, real Kristen, and I think that… British Kristen is gonna be the most drunk.”

“Hi I’m (huge finger-quotes, pointing obviously to a bass guitar resting against the wall) ‘Kristen Applebees,’ wink, and I think that normal Kristen is gonna be the most drunk.”

“Hi, I’m Kristen’s flatmate, and I think that British Kristen will probably be the most drunk. —Also not everyone from Fallinel says ‘blimey,’ just because they’re from Fallinel, I wanna be clear—“

(high-pitched mocking voice) “Hi! I’m Teddy Bear Kristen! Kristen’s special teddy bear! I think the most drunk person is gonna be Fabian, because that’s how drunk he’s gonna have to get if he’s ever gonna try to explain the whole thing with British Kristen to Mazey, and it’s actually astonishing that Kristen’s managed to cockblock me—um, him, on yet another level, and—“

“Hoi, oi’m Bri’ish Kristen, and I—“ (bends off-screen to be violently ill while still visibly clutching a Fantasy Guinness) “—Blimey—“

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 17

It’s Emily Axford’s World, We’re Just Living in It

Welcome back to Fantasy High where this monster 3+ hour bombshell of an episode is dropping during one of the busiest weeks of my life! There is SO much going on in this episode that I’m absolutely going to have to speed through things to get this out before the next episode but I’ll try to hit on all of the most important points. OK, ready, set, let’s go!

We closed out last ep in the middle of downtime where we learned that Jace had a scar from being infected with a rage crystal shatter star and from there we still have a bunch more downtime to get through. Highlights!

Riz investigates the footage from the crystal cam and again has the feeling that he needs to go back to his office and check out any open-ended clues because he’s missing something. 

Gorgug tries to work on a way to harness the power of the Night Yorb’s darkness since it’s trapped in his van since they’ll probably be fighting a solar deity soon. He does mention it to Henry but not why he’s doing it. He also looks into the Cloud Rider and confirms with the Aviation Club goblin kid that it would be powerful enough to lift the Hangman (referring not to the motorcycle, but to Bill’s ship which is now Seacaster manor). 

Fig writes another Ankarna themed song and rolls an insane 37. That’s powerful enough that she’s able to commune with Ankarna in her dreams. She calms the distressed Ankarana with the paladin spell Atonement and by commiserating that both of their girlfriends are “out of town”. Ankarna calls Fig her hero and says that “She’s always known” before she wakes up. 

Fig keeps haunting Ruben's dreams but they're abjured so she can't straight up talk to him. In his dream, she sees his house in Elmville and feels rage as well as fear. She sees a glade in Far Haven Woods and a scared pre-emo Ruben which makes her think that that's where they did whatever they did to kick things off and that maybe the old Ruben is still trapped somewhere. 

She then goes full Emily Axford and–along with the help of Fabian, British Kristen, Gorgug, and Adaine–goes to Ruben’s house and FAKES THE DEATH OF WANDA CHILDA BY KIPPERLILLY. Once she’s “dead” Adaine casts Enlarge on Gorgug and throws a cloak on him so he can take her away the in the same way Buddy’s body was taken away. It’s the performance of a lifetime with a 34 but the craziest part is they know someone was watching through the window but they have no idea who it was. InSANE. Imagine if it’s just Kipperlilly watching from Ruben’s window like ???????

Finally she gets Eugenia to design a tattoo for Fabian’s bday that will let him cast Ghost Step. She’s gonna secretly tattoo it on him because sure why not. 

Kristen talks to a very stressed Jawbone who has been dealing with a lot of angry kids lately which is, como se dice, troubling considering the whole rage god situation. She downloads him on everything going on and reveals that she was gonna try to have British Kristen steal files so she can see if the addresses of the angry kids form a 24 pointed star but instead she helps Jawbone clean his office and asks if she can have the addresses. He can’t give out student info but he says he’ll check a map and see if they form a star as well as checking on Jace. Kristen tells him to be super careful because the last teacher they talked to was Yolanda, RIP. (He also mentions the Sophomore Year Hotel Cav fight as being a weird thing that happened and the murder attempt of Lydia–things that we’ve already flagged as loose ends. We’ll get back to this).

Bobby Dawn is freaking out because they can’t find Buddy’s soul in corn heaven. Kristen reveals that he’s not in corn heaven and in fact is following a new god (after confirming he doesn’t have a rage crystal). Bobby Dawn thinks he’s being punked–especially once Kristen says the new god is her god’s ex-wife–but Kristen is being pretty sincere (so sincere that Murph is melting into a puddle anticipating she’s about to give the game away to one of their least fave NPCs–imo, she didn’t give away anything game ending but she was def playing with fire). Bobby tells Kristen to call him if there’s anything he can do to help find Buddy and Kristen dips to go talk to “[her] friend Murph.” Not Riz, Murph the irl guy, lol. As that happens, Bobby goes to have a whisper convo with his wife Pam who is also there. Suspicious.  

Riz/Murph makes the connection that Lake Shimmerstone is called that because of the gem filaments that flow from the Mountains of Chaos. It's a classic "no rolls necessary" moment. 

Kristen finally checks the bylaws and sees that the major change made was that there is no longer any inaugural period post election. So once the votes are counted, whoever wins is president right away. It was a change by Mazey requested by a faculty member--they think Jace. 

Kristen checks on her brother finally and it doesn't seem like he has a rage crystal but he's pretty bummed that he hasn't been able to convert any of his friends despite being a good paladin. He's also having a little existential crisis because he has non Helioic friends who don't actually seem like scary heathens. But then he was warned that sin might be tempting. Kristen tells him that she understands and that he has to decide whether he knows himself better than their parents. She says she's always around to talk. She then does a Relaxation roll and loses 3 stress tokens! Brennan also has her roll a d6 for the Relationship track roll with Buddy and on a 6, loses her final stress token!

Like Fig, Kristen also gets to commune with her goddess. Cass says that she's trapped and the king will come to Spyre. She says her wife's "fiery hand" grasps her in death and she has to protect her from the upcoming destruction--but she can't do it as herself. She tells Kristen that Ankarna has a champion as well and when Kristen asks who Cass says she already knows the champion. Finally, she urges her to look into what Kalina said because there was to be a good reason for her saying Ragh’s name. 

I’m going to leave the bullets for a moment (largely because Tumblr gets mad at blocks of text that are too big) to say that Adaine and Fig go to Ayda’s geocache and find an insane amount of spell components which would have been super useful earlier in the year. It also has instruments for Fig including a new bass that Brennan says he’ll get Emily the item card for ASAP. Back to bullets!

In his research, Riz finds the location in the Mountains of Chaos of the Temple of the Fallen Sun where Lydia's party members stopped in their travels. 

Riz looking into the Loam files sees that the person they're after must have had some ability to stun their opponents which is probably the reason for the lack of defensive wounds. He also learns that Ruvina's festival was called the Festival of Frost which sounds a lot like Frosty Fair. 

He finds some text about something called the War of Shattered Stones which apparently took place around when Ankarna's domain changed. 

On a hunch that there is more going on with the rat grinding than meets the eye, the whole gang takes a field trip to Lake Shimmerstone and Riz finds evidence that at some point the Rat Grinders were taken here while a massive giant was fighting deadly monsters. That doesn’t make sense so they call in some rats to question who tell them that there was a giant fighting these monsters and basically leaving the killing blows to the Rat Grinders so they’d get the XP–which is mechanically insane diegetically but we’re gonna ignore that. The rats also confirm that this was when Lucy was still around. The Bad Kids think that the RG’s made a deal with this giant (who the rats say is a guy btw) to get powered up and they got crystals as their end of the bargain. 

OK, that basically wraps up downtime. One more piece of business before we head to the Temple of the Fallen Sun! Zara has a talk with Fig where after heaping praise on her, she passes along a message–the appearance of a surprise meteor shower which was arranged by Ayda and is the most romantic thing ever. I won’t recap it, just watch it yourself. I can’t do it justice. Before Fig leaves for some hot tub time, Zara asks about Fig’s evaluation and Fig assures her she already turned it in. 

Time for a griffon road trip! And strap in because this is a MEATY lore dump. Sandra Lynn brings everyone on griffons to the Temple of The Fallen Sun and Riz brings his files because he can’t shake the feeling that he’s missing something. 

They find this infernal temple littered with humanoid bones and Fig can tell with her divine sense that it's a temple to Ankarna. There is a place where Ankarna’s name was destroyed and replaced with a Ranger’s symbol that says: Do Not Enter. Fallen Temple. There’s also evidence that someone tried to rewrite Ankarna’s name but it’s not her actual name. It’s the glyph that means her but isn’t her actual name. Which suggests that there’s a group of Ankarna followers that are trying to do stuff involving her but that don’t know her name. 

Everyone who can loads up on Truesight and See Invisibility before they enter the temple. There are a bunch of pretty good Investigation checks but, in particular, Riz gets a 32 and Fig gets a Nat 20.

Fig sees a vision (and Adaine can see it too--I assume as elven oracle she can just piggyback on anyone else having visions lol) of two giantkin wearing robes with a sun emblem being executed by armored individuals wearing robes with a fiery emblem on it. This temple was built right when Ankarna's domain was changing. They’re seeing the old priests of Ankarna being executed by the new ones. 

It's clear that this temple was built as a part of a state religion--the focus on conquest and strength is very empire-y. Adaine sees some writing in Giant and casts Comprehend Language so she can read it. There’s a bunch about the War of Shattered Stone and some new stuff about the temple being built for the glory of the House of Sunstone. They walk through the temple and see all this awful equipment for torture and execution. They get the sense that this is where Ankarna was changed. Her new followers did a bunch of heinous stuff in her name to force her to become infernal. As above, so below and all. 

Adaine casts Legend Lore and Brennan basically salivates. 30 seconds later, Riz rolls a Nat 20 to Investigate his files. So we’re about to crack this whole thing wide open folks. Let’s do this!

Fig and Kristen explore a chamber and Kristen's shards glow so bright she has to wrap fabric around them so they don't hurt peoples' eyes. They realize that their goddesses have been in this room together before. It's where they got divorced. Fig sees a vision of a bunch of Cass's followers dropping their weapons and backing up slowly and then being brutally slaughtered by the new guard of Ankarna. 

Adaine's Legend Lore starts: Sunstone was the top clan of the giants and conquered all the others--Thunderfist, Hornspear, Moonspeak, and Frostblade (Lucy’s ancestors). Ships got better which meant people started mingling and so did their gods. Ankarna and Cassandra got married. Things were good for a while but the leaders of the church of Sol didn't like having two sun gods in their pantheon so they whispered in the ears of some of the Sunstone guys that maybe conquest was the way to go (this was when they started conquering the other clans).  

Clan Frostblade rose up to fight because Ruvina was so concerned with stopping her sister and at the sundering of the Cliff's of Colcath, House Sunstone was destroyed. 

At this point, Riz realizes the thing he was missing in his files and it’s the thing we noticed ages ago. The weird moment in Sophomore Year. How did Ragh get cursed so he could see Kalina in the first place? Brennan plays the clip, looking like the cat who ate the canary. Porter did “Barbarian Healing” on him. That’s not a real thing. Lay on Hands is though. Porter is the one who infected Ragh. Emily, who has hated this man from day one, is LIVING. 

Back to the Legend Lore: The sundering of the Cliffs of Colcath. Sundering as in breaking. As in Cliffbreaker–Porter’s last name. 

They start putting things together. Him telling Fig he's a paladin to his ancestors. Gorgug sees him smite a giant stone with the force that would be needed to fell a bunch of trees in the woods. Disasuding Fig from being a paladin of Cass. His connection to Jace from the start. The large figure healing Buddy? He’s big as hell and Paladins can revivify. And Ankarna telling Fig that she’s known all along. 

The Legend Lore Concludes: After the sundering at the cliffs, the remaining Sunstones changed their names (to Cliffbreaker) and went into hiding. The Frostblades destroyed Ankarna's name to free her from the corruption (but I guess that went a little too far and backfired). The name was lost but a lot of Ankarna's true followers waited for her return. That includes Bakur who the Bad Kids realize was trying to bring back not infernal, ragey Ankarna but sunny justice Ankarna. But he was stopped by her mortal followers. 

Sandra Lynn watching all of this is like, “Well shit,” and points out that if the world isn’t already in chaos they must not have everything they need yet. The Bad Kids figure the opposition must be missing the name and a successful election. The election is in four days so that’s how long they have to stop it. In one final sick fusion of bard and paladin, Fig uses a riff from her base to uncover an older image of Ankarna and Cassandra pre-corruption and then they head back home. 

(Note: This comes up later retroactively but before they leave, they also check for footprints and see recent ones of Porter, Jace, and Buddy. It looks like they teleported in.)

Kristen casts Sending to warn Jawbone that Porter is bad news and then they speculate some more. There was a question in an earlier episode about what does it actually mean that Ankarna died in the Red Waste. They figure out that it means that the last follower who remembered her name was killed there. 

They talk to Bakur who says again that he was betrayed by Ankarna’s mortal followers. He also mentions that even in her infernal state, she would refuse to grant her followers spells when they had plans to hurt her sister or wife (even when Ruvina’s followers were attacking her). 

Bakur realized that Ankarna's followers were interested in her power but not in her. Bakur also overheard conversation from Lydia's party that said that Ankarna needed to be remade in a place where a god has been borne. A god. Any god. Riz flashes back to Kipperlilly Jawbone asking where Yes! was borne. 

Fig with some help from Adaine makes a fake version of Ankarna's name to give to Porter--Bacharath written in Giant. While Fig goes to give this to Porter, Adaine is hiding outside with Detect Thoughts on and Riz is hiding nearby invisible and recording.

Fig finds Porter and tells him and she found a new god and found her name but it’s annoying because she can’t read Giant which she needs to do to rez the god. She does it really casually and acts like it’s no big deal and Porter tries to play it cool but Adaine can tell with her Detect Thoughts that he’s chomping at the bit to get that name. She makes sure that Fig crits on her Deception with a portent. He (not at all) causally offers to help Fig translate and snatches the piece of paper from her. Fig then challenges him to spar and he agrees. Brennan asks for a Con roll and when Porter stomps his foot, everyone is immediately stunned (remember the mention of the stun effect and not defensive wounds earlier). Everyone but Riz who rolled a Nat 20. So he keeps his Invisibility. He also gets a high enough luck check to feel that there is someone else invisible nearby, close to Fig and Porter (note: later, Brennan tells Adaine that while she had Detect Thoughts up, for a moment she could detect the thoughts of an invisible KP). 

The last thought Adaine gets from Porter as her concentration drops on Detect Thoughts is, “Did I lock the office?”

Porter helps Fig up and doesn’t actually fight her but it feels like they just saw Porter do a Legendary Action which is a weird thing for a teacher to do–even a strong one. Fig asks what the hell that was and Porter plays it coy, saying senior year is gonna be really exciting. Riz is absolutely not having that non-answer and Misty Steps into Porter’s office. With his high investigation, he just finds everything so back to bullets:

There’s a note where he’s intimidating Halo St. Croix (the paladin teacher) into letting him teach the multiclass paladins. 

There are MCATs signed for him to teach both Lucy and Buddy paladin lessons. 

There’s an encrypted message between Porter and Bobby Dawn where Bobby is basically saying he’s very happy for Sol to remain the ONLY god of the sun in town but a new war god? That could be OK. He also suggests Porter look into Devil’s Honey for his plan. 

There's medicine to help with a psychosomatic allergic to feline dandruff (prob Kalina related). 

There’s filo dough–the kind you use to make baklava (a honey based dessert). 

There’s a leather cord, probably used in the casting of Spy’s Tongue Curse than smells rank. 

There are tons of blenders full of whey, protein powder, and ambrosia–food of the gods. Together, they piece together that mortals aren’t supposed to eat ambrosia because it kills them. Not in a violent way–they just ascend to the afterlife. They figure that Porter is basically eating god supplements, with the intention of supplanting Ankarna and becoming the new god of rage. Explains why he suddenly has legendary actions. 

There’s some cryptic, vague communication with the Rat Grinders which doesn’t give much away but is enough to tip them off that Ruben’s house is the place where they plan things. 

With that they go to investigate Ruben’s place. Before they go, Riz sets up a dead man’s switch that will release evidence if he doesn’t stop it–just in case they get trapped or held up or something. Adaine also calls her sister so she can cast a bunch of protective wards on Fabian’s place–she’s a master abjuration wizard after all. 

Riza goes in first and disables all the traps in Ruben’s house which means they won’t get caught but the RG’s will know someone was there later. Here’s everything they find and, like the rest of this episode, it’s a lot:

Adaine finds Oisin’s workstation and most notably finds a picture of his dragon ancestor hanging out with Kalvaxus, some notes about the Cloud Rider, and notes about stealing summons from other people (remember Adaine's mephits going haywire at Fabian's party). There's also some notes about a way to write telekinetically on the inside of a sphere. They’re not sure what that means. 

In Ruben's sound studio, they find notes from Porter helping Ruben write the song Get Mad--the song he did at Frosty Fair. 

Gorgug hacks into their private servers and sees all their communications. KP insists that they only call Cass the Nightmare King and (presumably) refers to Porter as the "Big Guy". She says he wants the Nightmare King and should have her locked down sooner rather than later just as soon as she shows herself in the Astral Plane. There's also stuff from last year where KP is really excited. She says the Big Guy has been looking out for them for a while and she's hyping Lucy up saying she gets to be the champion (something we know she didn't want). KP is specifically excited that this will allow them to keep up with the Bad Kids. Jace is also mentioned as a conspirator under the acronym JSD which isn’t slick at all lol.

Kristen sees evidence of Buddy helping with a ritual and stuff about where a god was "borne" (spelled correctly) so clearly they know a lot about what's going on. She also finds out what KP wants to do once she's President: she wants to shut down Aguefort as a school forever which will nullify the protections and wards it has centered on it, the big one being that Elmville can't be moved to any other plane of existence while school is in session. They think the Rat Grinders want to teleport the whole town–perhaps to set up a divine domain. Which would need followers–specifically angry followers. IDK about y’all but I feel like being randomly teleported to the Astral Plane would make ME pretty angry. 

There are texts post Lucy but pre Buddy where they're like what are we gonna do now? There's a "We're all in this together now" vibe (like some kind of twisted High School Musical) and they resolve to "talk to the Big Guy"

We learn Buddy was chosen for the same reason Lucy was a good candidate���connection to Ankarna. Lucy because Ruvina was her sister and Buddy because of similar domains (Helio’s domain is a Solar offshoot). Also I didn’t mention this before but Buddy did *not* know what he was doing. Oisin and Ivy are joking about his cluelessness behind his back (Booooo I was rooting for you dude). 

There’s a message from Jace telling them to stop antagonizing the Bad Kids even though they want revenge which leads the Bad Kids to question what they ever did to them. 

In Oisin's room they also find a lot of stuff about dragons and an image of a fetal god being protected by the Nightmare King. Also they remember how cloudy the Nightmare King's realm was (maybe a cloud rider connection?) 

Deep breath, this is a lot of stuff and we’re almost done. 

There's stuff about the Thistulespring tree and Ruben’s song spreading the rage vibes that represent the crystals in the ground. 

They realize that Porter is probably using the Devil's Honey to lie to Ankarna about his intentions as he's communicating with her.

They see that for the ritual they needed a body (Porter), Ankarna's name, the protective storm of the NIghtmare King, and his name inscribed by the champion of the old goddess. They realize that’s why Zara never got her eval. Fig is the champion and she did Porter and Zara’s eval on the same sheet which he swiped for this ritual. He literally made Fig a paladin so he could get what he needed. Diabolical. Aguefort needs better hiring practices. 

OK. Phew. Finally done. They head out and the next day is election day. Porter isn’t at school that day which is not surprising but is concerning. They don’t see the RG’s either. After school it’s time for the big party/election at Fabian’s place. Mazey gets a booth set up and Jawbone is there as faculty to make it legit. Aelwyn has warded up the place. Fig is there as Wanda cause she’s a maniac. Adaine is casting Detect Magic continually at the voting booth to watch for shenanigans. Also Ragh shows up and he aced his tryouts! He’s gonna be a profesh bloodrush player! Hoot growl all around!

But Riz (and honestly Murph) is unsettled. Everyone’s at this party where Fabian’s victory is a sure thing? All in one location together? Rat Grinders nowhere to be seen? This is WAY too easy.  

Which is Brennan’s cure to drop the other shoe. 

Things are just like Adaine's visions...until they're not. The sky was always clear in her visions and now storm clouds are brewing. She gets a Sending spell from someone, "You didn't see the storm coming? Must not be a very good Oracle." Oisin. Suddenly, ping pong balls with runes inside of them start raining down from where they've been stuck in the unkept Seacaster manor for months. From when Oisin "missed" his shots. Telekinetic writing inside a sphere. Runes inside ping pong balls. As they fall, there's a sudden lurch. Winds kick up and Seacaster manor is flying above Elmville. Everyone rolls initiative! 

I’m not doing proper Honor Roll/Detention this week because this was such a long episode and I'm exhausted. Honestly, Honor Roll for me for getting this up in time. Detention for Fabian for not using is 10k gold allowance to have someone clean his house in the past 9 months. 

Random Notes

Gonna just stick to a few plot relevant ones to keep this brief. 

Re: Adaine not seeing the storm in the same way that the previous oracle couldn't. I wonder if that’s just a blanket thing that weather evades predictions or if they did the same thing that was done during Kal’s plan to evade that oracle's sight before Aelwyn sunk her ship.

I don’t think I made it clear but Porter def killed Yolanda according to this ep. 

Porter’s Legendary Action is able to stun someone for multiple rounds which in combat would be devastating. 

I’m shocked they never tried to talk to Ruvina at any point during the campaign. 

I am still VERY concerned about Riz being made staff by Jace and given silver. That feels suspicious given we know he’s on Team Porter Ascension. 

I didn’t get into it because it was nebulous and would have messed with the flow of the recap but there was something there about teleportation circles and the Rat Grinders continually casting teleport to make a circle and maybe that’s how they’re gonna get Elmville into the Astral Plane. Just mentioning it in case it comes up again.

I don’t think we got closure on the “where the god was borne” thing. Because borne means carried, not created, right? I wonder if Seacaster manor would count because the corpse of Yes! Was brought there by Ankarna. 

The Rat Grinders and Porter have at least 2 obstacles they don’t know about. They don’t have the real name (unless they got in since Fig gave Porter the fake one) and Fig is literally domain squatting on Ankarna’s domain. She already called dibs so any claiming will have to go through her. 

I think it’s really nice that Adaine tried to do a relaxation track for Kristen. Handshake meme, her and Riz.

Emily insisting so hard and consistently that Porter was evil that Brennan just made him evil has some real as above/so below energy lol.

[heliza24]

Processing thoughts on ep 6:

I did love how Brennan kind of engineered Osion and Ivy to be appealing to Adaine after Siobhan reacted to Kipperlilly (something about American + hidden wealth and British but cockney seems designed to disarm her class based defensiveness). Ivy also feels like an off brand version of Aelwyn, perfect (in the worst way) for Fabian. And that decision between Ivy and Mazey! I do hope we finally eventually get some sincere romance out of Fabian. He has such a classic teen boy thing where he talks a big game but then is very afraid of emotional (and maybe even physical) intimacy. It would be cool to see him move through that.

So we know that the pit fiend in Lydia’s chest was working to resurrect a god, and it didn’t work because he didn’t attempt the ritual at a god birthspot. I wonder if whoever brought the mysterious god back now (maybe also the source of the anger crystal things from the mall fight?) did it in the nightmare forest/sylvare after Cassandra was reborn there. Also “I’m hurting him always with my anger” I 💜 Lydia, Crip badass who is tough as hell. I wonder how anger plays into this resurrected (?) god. And is this god maybe the same domain as Lucy, disposed of cleric from the Rat Grinders? So many loose ends this week.

The call with Tracker was a perfect story moment I think. Tracker/Brennan really crystallized the problem with Kristen: she tried to move on from Helio without processing what that meant. And she never faced up to the fact that a path you forge yourself is more rewarding, but it requires real work. That could have been a real parting conversation, but something about the way that Brennan hinted at a hidden motivation for Tracker makes me think we’ll see more of her this season, although how her relationship with Kristen will evolve I really don’t know. And her new girlfriend is definitely up on the “loose ends” board.

Also VIP award to Murph this week for making the connection that the Rat Grinders might be trying to get the Bad Kids kicked out of school, and for remembering the pass/fail thing after a party member leaves.

I think we’re starting to circle in on how the rival adventuring party and the God Drama (TM) intersects (the missing cleric feels key) and I’m excited to see that. I’m also excited for downtime mechanics that have been carried over and expanded from TUC2, and to see how that reinforces the anger/burnout/stress themes.

[dimension20quotes]

Fantasy High: Junior Year Episode 19 Quotes

Back to all Fantasy High: Junior Year quotes

"Fabian, do you have a place you were hoping to live?"

"Honestly, her mini's not that hot."

"I'll take another dad."

"I'll tell you right now. I'm gonna lose my virginity to that girl there on a rug I make from your skin with the weaving tools that I will make time for!"

"I'm Figueroth Faeth and you wasted my fucking season! You were a waste of time!"

"Officer Kristen was a Tracker sex thing. Officer Kristen was not a cop thing."

"Set timers to 'we're gonna win'."

"She got more British in death!"

"Well, even cowgirls get the blues."

"You had your chance to live and now I'm gonna skin you alive."

"You're a freak! This is what grinding does! You might have a high level, but you suck at PVP! You suck at this game!"

[queerpiratebrainrot]

I am in fact writing down my thoughts on the new FHJY ep (Untapped Rage) here, sooo have fun!

I completely forgot about the whole Sandra Lynn's ex thing! And it's BOBBY DAWN?! Damn

"Sandra Lynn, messy! I love her" - Same Adaine/Siobhan, same

Sklonda going "I talk to her every once in a while, we get drinks and talk about having wonderful, great kids who are doing great adventuring"

Yea, those two are absolutely ranting about how reckless and overworked their kids are and "bless them, but can they never just act like normal kids?! Why must they keep dragging themselves into this shit??"

"Pundle, when are we getting that beer?" I want them to so bad!

Attend graduation FIG WHY did you say it like that? But yea, def there's gonna be some shit going down there!

"Not so secret secret society" - I haven't finished The Seven yet, but is it not so secret cuz dear Penny Luckstone cannot keep a secret? I'll find out soon!

GORGUG COMING THROUGH with that root question! And then Ally critting immediately again! Rootwarden trees are so cool!

"Uuh GERTIE is a ranger!" Hell yea Adaine, help your friend flirt and get together with your other friend's nemesis!

"She has doctor's appointments to go to!"

Fabian gets a text from Gilear asking abiut the babyclothes! This is honestly my favourite bit so far

BUCKY ISN'T ATTENDING CLASSES? ooeeeh

Aelwyn moves back to Mordred Manor! Her being SO mean to Kristen immediately, after Kristen is kindly was rude to her! Just Kristen, Fig, Adaine and Aelwyn all acting Peak Siblings, Big Slay

"You guys don't have to livestream this"

"What's up bitch, I cast legend lore on you and nothing came up" - I adore Petty Butch Adaine so much!

THE LEGEND LORE SPELL! I love him

Riz being of legendary importance due to summoning the night yorb is iconic, as is him realising he's on the night yorb wikipedia

"Two in one year, that's embarrassing for you, huh" PETTY ADAINE AT IT AGAIN

The British Straight Kristen Bit is great

Mazey's family being in a labyrinth in the red waste! HA, fantastic! And I love Fabian and Mazey's date! So sweet :)

AYDA LEFT ANOTHER MESSAGE/BOX FOR ADAINE AND FIG! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!

Adaine and Sandra Lynn interaction was so sweet!

JACE'S EYES FLASHING RED DAMN, i cannot wait to see more! And go to the mountains of chaos!

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and The Name

"There's no cock on this one!"

This episode is bananas. In a great way. Like, this is the kind of quality story-telling that we don't get from television anymore. Not because the writing sucks; studios just don't produce long-running shows anymore…outside of procedurals. And you can't get this kind of lived-in universe, complicated relationships and drama that comes with it, and seed-planting-and-reaping that Fantasy High has done if you don't have the episode numbers and the seasons to back it up.

Yes, I know that Fantasy High is only on its third season. But we've had off-shoots and one-offs that count as filler episodes. Episodes that may not have moved the story but have definitely grown the characters, colored the world.

Anyway--

This episode is bananas. This season is bananas. And it's all thanks to the episodes that came before. The bits that spun into something bigger. The throwaways that became whole entities. And, most especially, the foreshadowing that was allowed to wait and mature at the right time.

Ayda's love letter during the meteor shower? Epically romantic. But the words that composed it wouldn't have the same impact had we not waited the years between Junior Year and Sophomore Year.

The "Mmm Whatcha' Say" outside Ruben's House; Kristen's touching scene with Bucky, and Cassandra's message; Fabian feeding someone fried rice that's been out in the sun for days; Gorgug going full hacker; Kristen 2 being British AND straight? These are just some of the bits that gave the more plot-bound scenes more gravitas. More impact.

Fig's vision at the Temple of the Fallen Sun; Adaine failing at her Elven Oracle job yet stringing together the legend and history of Ankarna; Riz being so good at being a spy--

And then Brennan cues in the footage of himself from 2019/2020. Of Murph asking how Ragh was able to see Kalina. Bringing back the question of "what the fuck is Barbarian Healing?"

The curtain reveal of how Brennan sold Emily on playing the same character--and it's not the Gilear curse after all. Although it plays into the whole thing.

The Bad Kids have gone a long way. The Intrepid Heroes? Even longer. They've grown. We've grown. And I thank the universe that there are still creatives who are doing proper long-form storytelling.

Thank you, Dimension 20. Thank you, Dropout.

And now we're gonna have to wait one whole week for the next episode. We're finally going to find out what Ally does that breaks Brennan.

I can't wait to see how this all plays out.

[unsleepingtales]

I am home for passover so I might not get to watch the whole thing in one go but regardless it’s time for episode sixteen!!

I’m so excited to finally get some backstories!!

They all look Great today.

Oh! Fun!

Thank god they’re looking at her file

Kipperlilly loved her friends :(

SHE CAME UP WITH THE NAME 😭

Oisin and Ivy pitched the ratgrinders :(

Did jace fucking kill these children

Something happened in those mountains

When you start saying a thing.

You really do gotta honor the cock.

BEARDSLEYYYYY

A grim whisper of banana pancakes

OH MY GOD THEY WERE RIGHT I SAW SOMEONE POST ABOUT THIS THEORIZING THAT BOBBY WAS ONE OF SANDRA LYNN’S OLD PARTY MEMBERS FUCK

Sklonda x Sandra Lynn you will always be special to me <3<3

Return of the van!

Beardsleyyyy

That’s so cool. That tree thing is so goddamn cool.

If they’re fucking with Gorgug’s house I’m gonna be so pissed off

Gileariel baby real <3

Brennan thank you for reminding Ally to talk to Bucky

Did Aelwyn get another five cats. Didn’t she have ten.

Yayyyy Aelwyn’s back <3

Fucking brutal

(vaguely British accent) I’m Kristen

I love how IMMEDIATELY Ally went in on the simulacrum

Hey I cast legend lord on you and nothing came up. Yeah.

AnUs mention!

I love that we all know these details about how wikipedia sorts things

Brutal! Honestly! The Abernant sisters don’t pull punches!

This is a joint ☺️

One of my favorite things about watching the intrepid heroes is the physical comedy. It has definitely informed my physicality when rping and playing d&d

Bitchhhhhhh

Mastermind Rogue!

Hard cream soda oh god

Rizwalda 😭

Fascinated by the teacher evaluations. What mechanic purpose does this serve. Or is it just to immerse the players further in the school thing.

Second Kristen is straight because real Kristen thinks British people are straight

You need to respect my life!

Official date!!

What are you DOING

White knuckling control of the date setting

Yessss I love the pun

Ally’s thousand yard stare at the mention of the buzz saw

RIZ IS PAID FACULTY FABIAN REMEMBER THIS PLEASE

I love the chill music that plays when we see Mazey

Gertieeeee

He’s such a good friend

Brennan’s so good at the seething face

My bank tells me 😡

Corsicaaaaaa

They’re so married

Adaine’s little ice cream party what if I cried

Sandra Lynnnnn

I’m not very good at being a kid. Oh god. FUCK.

‼️BIDEN MENTION‼️

I can be competent because you guys are there when I need you 😭

Oh my god. Mothers and daughters and mothers and daughters and mothers and daughters.

It’s alliterative!!

Poly Zara! <3

I do actually love the reading of the comments

Liar. Frumpy. Wrong.

Damn alright I guess that’s all for this episode of dimension20

Looking forward to next week! I will have just gotten home from a concert that I will be going to after a transatlantic flight that morning and also I’ll be done with essays one way or another so I’ll be all kinds of loopy!

[unsleepingtales]

When I saw that this episode has the biggest lore dump in d20 history I literally did Kermit the frog’s yaaaaaaaaay

Anyway. Episode 17 fhjy reactions!! This could be a short one bc I’m exhausted or it could be a long one because the episode is three hours long and has a lot of lore. The only way to learn is by playing and the only way to begin is by beginning so without further ado!

I having a great night I just got home from a concert and my food gets here in five minutes and I get to watch this!

It’s a sunglasses episode I see

Mazeyyyyy

I feel like having a polling booth at the party is somewhere along the line of voter intimidation or coercion or bribery or something but maybe I just take student gov too seriously

Awwww Adaine

Ooh yay my food is here

Bloke mode Kristen <3

Sklondaaaaa

Porter really wants a good eval lmao

Zac Oyama is so smart

Hi Sprak!

EMILY

EMILY AXFORD THE WOMAN YOU ARE

God I love that song concept so much

🚨ANKARNA ART ANKARNA ART🚨

She misses her wiiiiife

I neeeeed to know what Fig’s paladin oath is

We need high concept albums back

Fig once again psychologically tormenting another person

Kipperlilly’s house maybe?

BRITISH KRISTEN ART?????

Oh my god that’s horrifying. Not K2 😭

Ally and Lou!!

(bad English accent)

Rain on the dome!!! That’s so pretty

MM WHATCHA SAYYYYY

OHHHH Siobhan you are so smart

Love that Eugenia Shadow is a tattoo artist

Fabian is thinking So hard about how he’s gonna die before his mom and potential siblings

They’re so teenaged

Her CRISPS?

Yeah past a certain level of stress it really is hard to calm back down

Host a pool party

Awwwww

Oooooooop

Kristen. KRISTEN.

Oh god

Murph is so stressed

Yayyyy Bucky interaction time <3

Oh Brennan is so good at character physicality bc I can SEE Bucky getting angry

Bucky become a paladin of Cassandra pleaseeeee

Sweet boy

Yayyyyyy

Awww ayda

Augh things are Happening

Frosty fair?!

I love that everyone immediately knew what was happening when Lou started pretending to play pan pipes

And THAT’S why it’s a joke

AYDAAAAAA

We have been on our way to save us since before the lights of our world were first lit ❤️❤️

Emily staring STRAIGHT into the camera after the hot tub line

Sandra Lynn Faeth the woman that you are…

This is the kid who puked in a backpack on the first day

She does WHAT

Awww puppy hangman

(Brit-ish) 💀💀

Oi!

Litchrally

Oh fun!

So Fig’s oath almost definitely has something to do with Ankarna

Is it possible that Fig is the champion of Ankarna that Cassandra was talking about?

God we’re only halfway through the episode

The house of sunstone! Neat!

Oh goddddd

🚨EDGAR MENTION🚨

Yesssss nat20 investigation + legend lore <3

Honor the cock!

Oh shit

That’s so cute

Frostblade!!

Was it Sol????

Yeahhhh okay

Oh that dome projection is very startling

FUCK!!

CLIFFBREAKER MOTHERFUCKER

Weren’t they implied to be fucking

Jesus

Oh my god

I love paladin mechanics so fucking much

Oh she’s so beautiful

LOOK AT THEMMMMM oh god they’re so lovely

Ohhhh she could never let them harm her sister or her wife

A GOD WAS BORN IN THE GYM AND GRADUATION’S GONNA BE IN THE GYM

Ok good thank you

Yeah ok please enquire about why the polling place has to be at Fabian’s

Ally. Allyyyyy.

They’re such a good team guys. They’re great at what they do.

“A really dark time in my life” <- two weeks ago

Oh she’s so good

FUCK

Moon Murph!!

Ooh child! Things are a gonna get easier!

Arcane Tricksters are the best man. I love arcane tricksters in actual play I love playing arcane tricksters myself

I wanna be so authentically myself that it’s disruptive <3

OOH BABYYYYY

You know they’re eating baklava in church!

Loreeeee

Yeesh

Oh god what kind of speech does K2 give

FUCK

The booth is outside the boat

Ohhh that’s why they had the rain animation

OH MY GOD THAT IS A DIRECT TWISTING OF ADAINE’S LINE FROM SEASON ONE

“Well she can’t have been a very good oracle if she didn’t see the storm coming”

Oh my god this is insane

Ok. FUN.

[jq37]

Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter. 

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell. 

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately. 

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild. 

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons. 

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose. 

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was. 

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person. 

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world. 

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later. 

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting. 

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting. 

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask. 

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant. 

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!