#bringing forms(ideas) from world of Forms into the material world

[prettyboykatsuki]

tw for very very brief mentions of rape and incest and other taboo subject matter - only brought up for discussion.

i feel like it is kind of beating a dead horse when i bring up the relationship between fiction, reality, and the exploration of dark/taboo. given the nature of my blog and the change it's made over time—it's brought up repeatedly many times and in many context in which im forced to defend.

outside of that though, i have never really taken a moment to thoroughly break down the reason (or one of them) i find the it important which is the idea of fictional exploration as a sort of third space of processing and development.

there are many arguments surrounding the exploration of taboo relationships, ideas, and incidents in fiction built on the basis of morals. our greater, societal infrastructure relies on the idea of morality to justify any and all material violence. whether that violence be physical harm, systemic injustice, or psychological / verbal abuse etc.

there's a quote by frank bidart that goes "you can convince human beings to do anything if you convince them it is moral" that i think of often when we debate about what is moral and why. all people are equally capable of committing great material harm to other people if they are under the impression they are in the moral right.

so you examine morality as a mechanism for forming social contracts. it is largely debated whether or not morality is subjective or objective - but regardless of either thing, it is a fundamental part of creating a social circle. big or small.

human beings are also naturally social creatures. we want the approval and attention of our peers and we want community. and it will cause us to act in ways, whether that be conscious or unconscious, that are unsavory. whether that be passivitiy to maintain the status quo or othering another person in order to gain social status or favor.

a lot of the people who are staunchly against any forms of taboo in the exploration of fiction are people engaging with this kind of social behavior. at the core of there reasoning, they are seeking solace with peers over a sense of moral superiority all while not contributing anything materially—except often the verbal abuse and harassment of the opposite party.

none of this is very novel for me to point out. there are also plenty of other things that contribute to why this kind of debate happens online so frequently, particularly a strong taboo towards any all sexual content stemming from old-school religious conservatism and other fascist ideas etc.

but i bring it up because of how it relates to my feelings about the concept of fiction as a sort of third space in the same way the internet is a sort of third space.

engaging in this kind of moral crusading online is done by people who are seeking out social spaces that connect them to other people. this is especially true online as the internet has become a third space for people to interact with others that share similar interest and views. they do this to have a space to reaffirm themselves and their morality.

most importantly, they do this because the internet is an easily accessible space to like-mindedness and self-assurance. it's unreliability is overshadowed by the fact that young people engaging in this kind of critique can get ahold of their peers easily this way. humans are social. they seek companionship and our real life third spaces have become more and more sparse over the years.

so, online spaces have become a place for people to process their social development and their emotions with their peers.

now there's an understanding—that people need a way to process their internal world, concepts and ideas somehow.

but there are social contracts that can't be broken in these online spaces. though they are meant to be an escape from the constraints of real life, you are still subject to scrutiny and at risk of becoming a bad actor that is shunned by their own online community and circle of friends.

on top of that, if human beings are capable of committing horrific acts of violence, they are just as capable and if not more, of experiencing that violence in their lives. this also requires processing similar to the normal, everyday social processing people do online.

this much is obvious, even to many people who oppose the idea that fiction doesn't equal reality. you'll often hear them utter words about seeking counseling / therapy underneath posts involving dark subject matter.

but then, there are social contracts of acceptability and palatability. and more, there is inaccessibility.

all human beings are subject to some form of violence or some other type of struggle. whether that be in their class, race, or sexuality - the average person has material conditions and complex emotions that can't be neatly resolved nor shared comfortably with their peers.

everyone needs space to air these aspects of themselves out healthily. you are automatically going to experience a specific amount of negativity in your life that requires an outlet and there is no real way to find a universal solution to answering those feelings. unresolved, it can lead to substance abuse or suicidal thoughts/

and there is no universal, easy to access place for people to unilaterally express and process their feelings and thoughts.

but there is writing fiction.

this, to me, is the one argument that i think is important to bring it up but rarely does. because there are many angles to approach this discourse and this is just one of them.

writing is also a kind of third space. a place to communicate that isn't home or work. a third space in to connect with and break down these emotions—somewhere that can be shared to find camaraderie. it can also be shielded to hide away from the scrutiny of your peers. it is a place where you can inadvertently process these great, overbearing emotions that is neutral and welcome to all.

and it's not that fiction can't cause harm at all. because it certainly can and has

but the very presence of taboo is not the sole cause of harm in what makes something fictional hurtful. propaganda and insensitive messaging and all the ways fiction can hurt people exist with in a predefined context and social climate. that kind of harm spreads through massive scales of government and print and makes its way onto shelves.

more than that, human beings have a sense of morality. it is agreed upon that rape, incest, violence and murder are materially harmful. in the misplaced desire for censorship, it seems people are attempting to affirm this by monitoring works of fiction that have this subject matter at all.

but in that monitoring, you are taking away what makes these kinds of spaces comfortable - which is a lack of hostility.

if you believe this to be the most optimum solution, i implore you to critically examine whether or not you think it morally correct to take away from someone the means to process their emotions. and if you believe still, that it's the best thing to do for all parties i next ask, how will you then make space for them? what space will replace this one?

what are the other solutions have the same level of access to all? can you implement a space for someone with no other healthy outlets, to vent and untangle and smooth out these feelings, without requiring the hypothetical labor of someone else? can you promise you will be able to provide something that offers a similar catharsis for the often deeply complicated feelings being addressed (whether that be directly or indirectly) through the presence of themes like incest, rape, or abuse? can you provide another alternative to the repetitive behaviors of trauma that insist on recreating / imagining these harms in a controlled environment over and over again?

to be clear, it is unnecessary and against my beliefs that you must have experience those things directly to write about them. in fact my point is the opposite.

the thematic concepts that come along with the taboos are the catharsis themselves. a person with a disconnected trauma about neglect or abandonment finding healing in the themes of incest about forbidden love or love that goes against all. a person with no trauma at all, who longs to be free from the daily life stresses of work may find catharsis in the writing of rape which strips autonomy and choice.

human beings are complicated. these examples may feel extreme to you. you are welcome to view them that way. that is your right.

but for other people it is a good solution, one of the best solutions - to strip down these desires bare and explore them where no one is being hurt. where they do not hurt themselves materially or anyone else. art is one of the few spaces you have for yourself. you can argue that distribution is the problem—but if you are able to identify when it is wrong, does your moral superiority extend so far as to believe that that's something only you can do?

and most importantly - are you prepared to take that space from them and provide other outlets? do you think it fair to prevent people from safely having access to something that you, yourself, depend on heavily for social and emotional affirmation?

are you willing to hold space for them when no one else can or no one else will?

[hhhhleb]

getting to know each other

they got stuck in the Void(?) for an indefinite period of time…without Ink's brush and vials.. they have nothing to do but talk i guess..(more thoughts in tags)

related to this thing with sci and this red ink thing

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[astrocafecoffee]

Part of fortune in natal chart 💫

❤️ FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY , ENJOY ❤️

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💖 MASTERLIST

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♥️ POF in 1st house/Aries :

- Part of Fortune in the 1st House can give you a subtle magnetism that draws opportunities to you, sometimes without conscious effort. Your energy, charisma, or physical presence can create circumstances where good things simply fall into your lap as you move through the world. This can apply to both personal and professional opportunities, and it's more about the vibe you project than any specific action you take.Since the 1st House deals with your physical presence and the way you move through the world, luck can come to you in bursts, often out of nowhere. These shifts might not always come gradually but could be more of a life-changing event type of energy, bringing sudden success or visibility. Also, you could find that your natural flair for speaking, teaching, or entertaining brings both pleasure and rewards. This can include attracting positive attention or gaining recognition without trying too hard. While the Part of Fortune in the 1st House brings charisma and opportunities, it can sometimes inflate the ego or create a false sense of invincibility. You may feel that things will always work out, or that your charm and presence will be enough to win you over in all situations. This overconfidence can lead to overestimating your abilities or neglecting other important factors in decision-making, which could cause setbacks if not kept in check. With the Part of Fortune here, you may find that major periods of personal transformation,like a change in your appearance, identity, or outlook on life bring sudden bursts of good luck or fortune. This could be moving to a new location, changing careers, or embracing a completely different lifestyle, and each reinvention could feel like a fresh start filled with new possibilities.

♥️ POF in 2nd house/ Taurus :

-The 2nd House governs financial matters, but with the Part of Fortune here, luck may come through developing self-sufficiency rather than relying on others. your most prosperous times happen when you are working independently or generating your own income, often through practical, steady methods. Resource management and the ability to make the most of what you have can bring you good fortune. While others may struggle with managing finances or accumulating wealth, you might find that you have a natural talent for budgeting, saving, or making the most out of limited resources.you may gain financial stability through physical possessions like real estate or art, or by developing a marketable skill or craft that holds value. The more you invest in your personal abilities, the more you are likely to be rewarded.The Part of Fortune here can sometimes bring unexpected financial gains, especially when you least expect them. These might not always come in the form of a large sum of money, but rather as opportunities that lead to long-term wealth or growth. You might receive a bonus, a inheritance, or even gifts that unexpectedly improve your financial situation.People with this placement often experience good fortune when they detach their self-worth from material possessions and learn that true value lies within. You may experience setbacks or delays if you focus too much on material accumulation, and fortune tends to favor those who find balance between their inner and outer worlds.

♥️ POF in 3rd house/ Gemini :

-The 3rd House is all about how you express your thoughts and ideas, and with the Part of Fortune here, you may find that verbal expression or the ability to communicate effectively can bring you good fortune. Whether it’s through writing, speaking, or teaching, the way you convey your ideas is a direct channel to success. Your words may have an impact on those around you which automatically opens doors and creates opportunities that wouldn’t otherwise arise.You may also be lucky in how easily you grasp new concepts and ideas.you attract opportunities when you step out of your usual environment, whether it’s business travel, a spontaneous trip, or even frequent travel within your local area. Even seemingly insignificant movements can bring important insights or new connections that impact your life positively.your fortune is strongly tied to your ability to tell stories or express yourself through the written word. Whether you’re a blogger, author, journalist, or someone who enjoys personal journaling, there may be luck and success tied to the act of sharing your thoughts and ideas with others.Try tosatisfy your intellectual curiosity and pursue a range of topics or subjects that spark your interest. This can lead you to uncover new opportunities in unexpected places.Teaching or sharing your knowledge is another area where you may find luck. Whether it’s formal education, mentoring, or casual instruction, you might experience good fortune when you help others learn.

♥️ POF in 4th house/cancer :

-People with this placement often find that their greatest source of luck comes from a nurturing home environment. This doesn’t necessarily mean you must come from an affluent background, but rather that having a safe, supportive, and stable home provides a foundation for all other areas of your life to flourish. If you have a strong emotional connection to your home, fortune may flow more freely into your life when you prioritize the comfort and harmony of your living space.Luck could come through inheritances, family business, or ancestral traditions that offer unexpected opportunities or stability. Even if your family doesn’t have monetary wealth, there may be wisdom, support, or connections that you inherit and that bring good fortune. Understanding and honoring your ancestral legacy can help unlock deeper layers of fortune.People with this placement might find that owning or working with property brings good fortune, especially if it’s connected to their roots. Whether it’s investing in property, owning a family home, or returning to your roots (a hometown or country), there’s a potential for prosperity through real estate or land that is deeply connected to your personal history.you may find luck in more introverted, quiet, or private pursuits. Activities that occur behind the scenes, away from the public eye, can bring the greatest rewards. This could involve working from home, engaging in introspection, writing, or pursuing hobbies that allow you to nurture your soul and emotional life. Part of Fortune here might find success or luck in careers or activities related to emotional healing, psychotherapy, or working with others to resolve family trauma or emotional wounds. You might experience challenges or karmic patterns related to family dynamics, but working through these lessons, whether it's about independence, healing, or family unity ,will ultimately bring you greater prosperity.

♥️ POF in 5th house/leo:

-One of the most significant manifestations of the Part of Fortune in the 5th House is that creativity and self-expression are powerful conduits for good fortune. You might find that your artistic talents whether in writing, painting, music, or performance are directly tied to your luck. The more freely you express yourself in a creative way, the more likely you are to attract opportunities, recognition, and successyou may find that you are more fortunate when you bring fun and spontaneity into your life. This placement often rewards joyful interaction, so the more you let go and have fun in relationships, the more likely you are to attract positive energy and serendipitous events.The 5th House governs children and parenthood, so the Part of Fortune here suggests that having children or being involved with them can bring significant blessings and good fortune. perhaps you have children who bring unexpected joy and opportunities. Alternatively, if you're not a parent, your involvement with children, such as through teaching, mentoring, or charitable work, could be a source of good fortune and personal growth.good fortune can come when you are free to express yourself authentically and creatively, without restraint or inhibition. The more you align with your true self, whether through your personal style, artistic endeavors, or hobbies, the more likely you are to encounter opportunities. Good luck.

♥️ POF in 6th house/Virgo :

- People with this placement often find that they experience good fortune when they are helping or contributing to others well-being, whether through their work, volunteering, or personal relationships. The more selflessly you give, especially in service-oriented roles, the more you may find that opportunities and rewards come your way.good fortune comes when you take care of your health or when you focus on wellness and preventive care. People with this placement often find luck in health-related fields, whether it’s by working in healthcare or simply through adopting a healthy lifestyle. By taking care of your physical body and being mindful of your well-being, you may experience more energy, vitality, and prosperity in other areas of life.Some people with this placement may find good fortune in careers related to holistic healing, natural remedies, or other alternative therapies. Energy work, herbalism, and even mental health counseling may offer paths to both personal fulfillment and external success.you may find that you create opportunities for yourself when you focus on making other people’s lives better. Teaching others how to improve their health, habits, or work efficiency can attract recognition and personal rewards.This placement may also suggest that your work environment plays a crucial role in attracting fortune. You could experience luck through a positive and supportive work atmosphere, where you are able to collaborate well with colleagues and contribute meaningfully to the team.

♥️ POF in 7th house/libra :

-Individuals with this placement often find that they are most successful when they work with others. You not a lone wolf, instead, teamwork and collaboration bring you the most fulfillment. Whether in business or personal life, their fortune is often linked to the people you partner with. This could be in the form of a supportive spouse, a helpful business partner, or even a mentor who helps you achieve your goals.You may find that you naturally gravitate toward individuals who help you grow, succeed, or feel fulfilled. It’s as if the universe aligns you with those who bring out your best qualities and help you thrive, whether in personal relationships or professional networks.If the Part of Fortune is here, it might mean that you have a natural ability to mediate or bring people together in a harmonious way. Your fortune could come from playing the role of a peacemaker, whether in personal relationships, family dynamics, or business negotiations. This ability to create balance and find common ground with others can often bring you opportunities and success.You may find that you are lucky or successful when it comes to contracts, agreements, or any legal matters. This could include things like signing beneficial deals, receiving unexpected support in legal matters, or finding success in professions that deal with law, negotiation, or partnership-building.

♥️ POF in 8th house /scorpio:

- 8th house is all about transformation,the kind that comes through major life changes, endings, and new beginnings. People with the Part of Fortune here may find that they get the most luck when they go through personal growth, or even when they face intense life changes. You might notice that whenever you go through a deep, sometimes difficult transformation,whether it’s emotionally, financially, or spiritually,that’s when things really start to fall into place for you. Your fortune could be tied to your ability to rise from the ashes and transform yourself into something new.You may find that your good fortune comes when you tap into your intuition or explore things that are usually kept behind closed doors, like psychology, astrology, or deep research. Trusting your gut can lead you to lucky breaks that others might miss.you have a natural ability to see the hidden motivations of others or a talent for working in fields that require deep psychological insight such as therapy, counseling, or investigative work. Your emotional intelligence and ability to understand what others are really thinking or feeling can bring a lot of opportunity your way.Also, you may find that successful relationships with powerful people, or those who have resources or influence, can bring you a lot of luck. This could be a mentor, a business partner, or someone who can help you level up. Being in the right place at the right time, with the right person, can really push you toward success.With the Part of Fortune here, you could find that your fortune is somehow connected to previous lifetimes or past experiences you’ve had with other people,whether they’re family, close friends, or significant others. You might not even realize it, but these deep, transformative relationships are helping to shape your path to success and bring you good fortune.also, you are lucky when it comes to things like inheritances and shared finances.

♥️ POF in 9th house/Sagittarius :

-your luck often comes when you step outside your familiar surroundings. Travel, whether it’s across the world or just going somewhere new and unfamiliar, can bring you good fortune. It’s like the universe rewards you when you go on a journey, whether it’s a physical one or a journey of the mind. You might notice that new opportunities or positive changes come when you explore new cultures, meet new people, or discover new places.The 9th house is also the house of higher education,philosophy, higher learning, and wisdom. People with this placement often find that their fortune comes through learning or gaining deeper knowledge. Maybe you’re someone who’s drawn to going to school, taking advanced courses, or learning something new that challenges your worldview. your luck can come from people who help you see the bigger picture, who introduce you to new ideas or philosophies, or who inspire you to grow and stretch beyond your limits. you might find that your good luck comes when you write, teach, or share your wisdom with others—whether that’s through books, blogs, lectures, or podcasts. You might have a natural gift for communicating ideas that can reach a wide audience, and when you express what you know, it brings rewards and recognition.meditation, spiritual practices, or even just exploring new philosophical ideas can open doors for you. You might notice that the more you connect to something bigger than yourself whether it’s through a spiritual practice, philosophy, or worldview the more your life feels blessed or abundant.

♥️ POF in 10th house/Capricorn:

-If your Part of Fortune is in the 10th house, it’s likely that your good fortune will come when you connect with important people or influential figures in your career or public life. Networking, socializing, or even forming partnerships with powerful or high-profile individuals might bring unexpected opportunities your way. The more you engage with the public sphere, the more you will find avenues that lead to good fortune.people with the Part of Fortune in this house often find that their success and fortune grow steadily over time. This isn’t a quick-win placement, it’s about building a solid foundation and working toward something that will pay off in the long run. You could find that your fortune comes through slow, consistent progress in your career or long-term projects that eventually bring significant rewards.The 10th house can also relate to the idea of becoming a master or innovator in your field. The Part of Fortune here suggests that you could find good luck by pushing the boundaries and creating something new or unique in your career. Whether you’re inventing something, leading a groundbreaking project, or simply honing your skills until you become the best in your profession, your fortune may come when you break new ground or achieve mastery in your area of expertise.for some people, the Part of Fortune in this house may suggest that they inherit their fortune, success, or opportunities through family connections or ancestral ties(10th house also relates to your father). This might not be as obvious, but you could find that your family’s history, social standing, or connections play a significant role in the opportunities that come your way.While building a good reputation is important, if you’re too concerned with your public persona, it could take away from the authentic pursuit of your goals. Don’t let your ambition for success or recognition cause you to neglect the inner work needed for real achievement. All the best.

♥️ POF in 11th house/Aquarius:

-The 11th house is all about community, but it's not just any community,it’s about being part of a group that has a shared vision or goal. This could be a professional network, a spiritual group, a political movement, or even a hobby group where everyone works toward a common cause. With the Part of Fortune here, you might find that your best opportunities arise when you connect with people who are as passionate about something as you are, and together you create something impactful and rewarding. you may find that your fortune comes from being involved working in tech, or contributing to innovative ideas. Whether it’s through social media, technology startups, or digital communities, your good fortune may lie in embracing the future and connecting with new, forward-thinking industries or trends.you may find that your good fortune grows when others see your efforts and appreciate your role in making the world a better place. Your recognition may not always be immediate, but over time, it brings rewards and fulfillment.People with the Part of Fortune in the 11th house often find that their luck comes from friendships with people who are different, who might be unconventional, progressive, or ahead of their time. These friendships bring growth, ideas, and opportunities that wouldn’t have come through other relationships. You may find that the people you meet along your journey,especially those who have unique or innovative perspectives,play a big role in bringing good fortune into your life.But,You might sometimes be so focused on the bigger picture that you lose sight of practical steps or details. It’s important to balance your dreams with action and grounded decision-making to ensure your fortune comes in a sustainable way.

♥️ POF in 12th house/Pisces:

-The 12th house is the house of hidden emotions, fears, and sometimes even past life karma. With the Part of Fortune here, you may find that your luck increases as you work through deep emotional wounds or subconscious patterns.Sometimes your biggest breakthroughs come from dealing with what is hidden beneath the surface.People with the Part of Fortune in the 12th house often have an affinity for the unseen or intangible. Whether it’s working with things like intuition, dreams, or art, your fortune tends to come when you engage with things that can’t be touched or easily explained. You might find success in creative pursuits, in fields like psychology or spiritual counseling, or in any profession where you’re working with ideas or energies that are not immediately obvious to the outside world.You may find that you thrive when you work behind the scenes or in more isolated roles. With the Part of Fortune here, one key to unlocking your good fortune is to confront and release self-sabotaging patterns or beliefs that may be deeply ingrained in your subconscious. This could be a process of undoing limiting beliefs from your past, or even past-life karmic patterns that might be influencing your current life. Once you confront these hidden blocks, you open the door to greater prosperity.The 12th house is about retreat, but it’s important to remember that you also need connections to the outside world. Spending too much time in isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness or disconnection, which might block the flow of your good fortune. Balancing time alone with meaningful social interactions is key to making the most of this placement.

Thanks for reading 💫

- PIKO 💖

[worldlxvlys]

Hi honey can you do a text with Matt like he likes the reader and the reader likes him but they are to scared to confess and they make really sexual and suggestive comments and jokes to each other ✌🏼 I love you 💋 Matt is kinda subby and like touches himself to her messages imagining it’s real

Love you,🥰

I have a lot of ideas so just let me know if you need any 💋

texts w/ bsf! matt (part 2)

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: smuttttt, hand job, masturbation, fantasizing

a/n: pls don’t ever stop giving me ideas this ate

previous part !

want me to help ?

any sense of self-control that i had completely left my body when i saw the sentence.

i read it over again and again, trying to figure out whether she was joking or not.

as i let my mind wander, i began to palm myself through my boxers lightly.

i thought about her face, how pretty it would look scrunched up in pleasure, while she chased her orgasm.

suddenly, i felt my phone vibrate in my hand, bringing me back to reality while i began to read the text messages.

i’d spit on the tip and watch you squirm while it dripped down.

“fuck” i sighed out, rubbing myself through the thin material as i imagined her staring up at me, her hands massaging my thighs.

my hips jerked up into the air at the thought, almost as if i could feel her teasing touches.

part of me felt guilty, imagining my best friend’s face inches away from my dick.

but if she didn’t want me to, why would she send a text like that? when we’ve flirted in the past, it was usually all jokes.

but this felt different. maybe it was the morning wood and horny state that i woke up in causing me to misjudge her intentions, or maybe she was teasing me on purpose.

either way, i had no plans of stopping myself from basking in the moment.

besides, if i have my boxers on i’m not technically touching myself to the thought of her…..right ?

i’d give you a few good pumps, squeezing the base and twisting my hand around you.

god, what was she doing ?

i began to apply more pressure to my crotch, pushing and rubbing more and more aggressively.

she was driving me crazy, it’s almost as though she wanted me to drive over to her and fuck the living shit out of her.

and with that thought, i found my mind wandering off again.

i imagined the way she’d scream my name, the way her ass would jiggle while i fucked her from behind while her legs trembled.

then i’d swirl my tongue around the tip teasingly before taking you into my mouth.

she just loved to tease me. i wonder how she’d feel if the roles were reversed.

what would she do if i rubbed my dick against her thighs ? or her stomach ? each time, managing to just miss her pussy ?

would she be a moaning mess under me, whining and crying for me to do something ?

maybe she’d grab my hand, forcing me to pump myself a few times before finally pushing into her.

i’d take every inch of you, deep throating your cock.

i was so lost in my own world, i hadn’t even realized how close i was until i was bucking my hips up into my hand, with quick gasps and curse words flying out of my mouth.

“fuck, fuck, fuck” i whispered out as my hands flew around the sheets, desperately trying to find something to hold onto.

i let out a cry of her name as i came inside of my boxers, forming a wet spot on the light-colored material.

i took in a deep breath, attempting to calm myself when i got another message.

wouldn’t stop until you begged me to.

i’d let you cum all over my face while your legs shook and your body twitched.

i quickly pulled my boxers down, throwing them haphazardly across the room.

my hand immediately flew to my dick, spreading the remains of my orgasm around, making me let out a small whine.

i began to pump myself quickly, imagining how pretty she’d look while thick spurts of my seed flew onto her face.

my eyes were scrunched up, toes curling inward while i pushed through the overwhelming amount of pleasure building inside of me.

soft whimpers fell from my mouth, as the wet sounds of my hand sliding around my dick filled the room.

my head flew back as my phone fell from my hand and onto the bed.

i imagined her on top of me, bracing herself with her hands on my knees as she rode me.

“you wanted me so bad? getting off on my text messages like a little slut? sit there and take it”

“i can’t, it’s too much” i cried out, fisting the sheets as tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.

“you can and you will. take it”

i shook my head vigorously, taking my bottom lip between my teeth. “i can’t-” i started.

she’d loop her fingers into my hair, yanking my head towards her chest.

taking the hint, i’d bring my mouth to one of her tits swirling my tongue around her nipple.

i was ripped out of my fantasy quickly, as my hips began to stutter.

i let out an embarrassingly loud whine as my load spilled out of me, covering my abs and thighs.

my body trembled, muscles contracting and relaxing as the aftershocks ran through me.

“holy shit” i whispered as the reality of the situation hit me.

i just jerked off to my best friend’s text messages.

and that was the hardest i’d ever came before.

i fucked up.

🦋🦋🦋🦋

yayyy double update bc i love you <333

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nicksmainbitch @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[elysiansparadise]

Aspects of Jupiter in the composite chart

🧡Jupiter conjunct Sun: It is a relationship that will give you many positive lessons and in addition to that there will be a lot of growth together over time. They feel happy with each other, even a little luckier if they are together. They see life with better eyes and feel that there is a lot of compatibility in terms of ideals. They feel fulfilled, as if they were lacking nothing either materially or emotionally. They teach each other things and the arrival of the other into their lives is accompanied by blessings and opportunities. Comfortable with each other and do their best to understand each other regardless of existing differences.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Moon: In this relationship there is an abundance of positive emotions, patience, generosity and support. They spread good humor easily and will feel happier and more sensitive in each other's presence. This relationship will bring many positive lessons, a lot of personal and emotional growth, and you will finally feel understood and very loved. Even if they are not very expressive in their daily lives, the other will make them bring out their emotional side and make them see inside their inner world. There will be a lot of love and a strong sense of friendship. They will be able to form a bond of trust and will see each other as reliable. 

🧡Jupiter conjunct Mercury: Both will bring many important and positive lessons in each other's lives. Long, deep conversations await you in which you will feel what it is like to connect with someone on a deep level. They will awaken each other's curiosity, as well as inspire good feelings in each other. Laughs will never be lacking, you will notice how a smile appears on their faces after talking to each other. They will feel that the other appreciates their ideas, they will feel listened to and they will do their best to understand each other regardless of their differences. They will see in each other a good advisor who is always willing to support them.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Venus: Love, understanding and good humor will abound in this relationship. It is likely that both will please the other a lot even without intending to, they will feel happy and very loved by the other. Their love will grow more and more. They will learn positive lessons from this relationship, they will learn what it is to be loved and to love. Whether we see the relationship from the outside or inside, the love and adoration they feel for each other will be obvious. It seems that they both worship each other, that they admire and feel pure affection for each other. 

🧡Jupiter conjunct Mars: Both parts may feel that they achieve more together than they could individually, in addition to having a strong motivation to achieve their goals together. You will feel more animated and energetic with each other. A lot of compatibility and sexual attraction, they will enjoy exploring a lot with each other in the intimate field. They can be very sexual and have sex more frequently than usual or than in previous relationships. This couple will have a very positive vision regarding their future together, they can enjoy doing new activities together. A great indicator of travel and a lot of growth and motivation.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Saturn: Here we find a strong couple, who will constantly seek to grow together, understand each other better and progress together, hand in hand with each other. There is a deep desire to do things well, to give others support and perseverance. This couple will set long-term goals and, with enthusiasm and dedication, they will go after them. They will want to go far together, last a long time by each other's side and achieve many things next to each other. There is a strong desire to see others well, to see them fulfilled and happy. A very mature and stable couple who will be able to overcome obstacles.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Uranus: They feel excited about each other, happy and very optimistic about the idea of ​​a future together. They will experience many great changes next to each other and, with this relationship, they will learn to be more independent. The other will encourage them to be themselves and be authentic, which will bring them great things and opportunities. Both will experience a lot next to each other and will live exciting, fun and new experiences. They will greatly change the way of thinking and living each other's lives, and they will see their arrival as an awakening or a realization.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Neptune: This is a relationship full of idealism, dreams and a tendency to inspire the other greatly. Both will seek to make this relationship something deep and meaningful for both of them, they will seek to know the soul and inner world of the other. They feel a strong spiritual connection, a sense of being perfectly aligned with each other. A lot of idealization and fascination with the other, coming to see themselves as someone great and whom they treasure. They dream big with each other, together they feel that everything is possible and that they can make everything they ever wanted come true.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Pluto: Both will make profound significant changes in the other's life, they will be something new, an impact on the other's life and they can give meaning to many things that seemed foreign to the other. Great source of inspiration and motivation for the other, a relationship in which they empower each other and feel a lot of pride in each other and their relationship. This is a serious and very influential relationship for both parties, they can achieve a lot of success and feel very connected next to each other. A powerful magnetic attraction to the other from the beginning.

🧡Jupiter trine Sun: Good humor abounds in this relationship, they feel more positive with each other. They work very well together in any aspect of life and can achieve and achieve many things side by side. You trust each other a lot and will always want the best for you as a couple. They will support, listen and advise each other. You bring out the best in each other and tirelessly support your partner's dreams and goals. 

🧡Jupiter trine Moon: There is a strong affinity, from the beginning they could feel a lot of liking for each other. They are both kind, gentle and more outgoing with each other. They see each other as each other's teachers and will always give advice if they need it. They are very receptive and understanding of each other's emotions and displays. They may have similar beliefs regarding various aspects of life. They will share a lot together and will be generous in every way.

🧡Jupiter trine Mercury: It's impossible for them to think about each other without letting out a smile. Many long conversations that are not only deep and inspiring, but fun and make them feel comfortable. Ease of resolving any misunderstanding or issue that may arise. They have very similar ways of thinking regarding their ideologies, morals and deeper issues such as religion or spirituality. Huge chances of taking trips together. They feel that they can be very open and transparent with each other.

🧡Jupiter trine Venus: Both of them finds opportunities to grow and expand both individually and together. Good humor, sweetness, laughter and mutual support. They will be each other's confidants, understanding and compassion will flow. They will live many adventures together and learn a lot with each other by their side. Satisfaction in all aspects of the relationship. They will care and seek the well-being of the other. You can see each other as husband/wife material.

🧡Jupiter trine Mars: This is a relationship full of adventure, fun, and strong companionship. They encourage each other to go after what they want, they motivate each other and they feel more energized with each other. They work very well together whatever the project and bring insights and new perspectives to each other. A lot of attraction and sexual affinity. In this relationship they will feel that they make a lot of progress individually and are inspired to grow and improve.

🧡Jupiter trine Saturn: Here there is a perfect mix of energies, this relationship alternates between the seriousness and commitment that both feel, and the joy that they evoke in the other. Growing deep and unconditional support and true admiration for each other. Stability and reliability, both will work hard to make the relationship an enjoyable journey for both. They see themselves together in the long term.

🧡Jupiter trine Uranus: This couple can experience many positive changes since being together, from changes in old and harmful beliefs, to changes in the way they see and live life. They will be taught to appreciate things that previously went unnoticed. They want to teach each other new and positive things about relationships. Lots of travel, fun and a feeling of being at a great point in their lives.

🧡Jupiter trine Neptune: They both feel inspired and delighted with each other. There is a naturally giving, empathetic and devoted attitude towards the other. Life together feels like a dream, because they feel that the other genuinely wants to see them well and supports what they propose and desire. There is a feeling that they connect very well and understand each other like no one else.

🧡Jupiter trine Pluto: They will bring many positive and profound changes to each other's lives, from positive changes in their personalities, ideologies or lifestyles to the feeling that things in their daily lives flow and go in their favor more than when they were not together. Both will feel drawn towards the other and will feel deep admiration and respect for the other.

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🧡Jupiter sextile Sun: They inspired each other's trust from the first moment and from the first interaction they could feel their chemistry. The other inspires them, brings them joy, and immediately puts a smile on their face. They will grow together as a couple and will shed some light on the life that the other was leading at that time before they met. Adventures, growth, fun and abundance in all aspects of the relationship are things to expect from this relationship.

🧡Jupiter sextile Moon: In this relationship, both will be willing to always encourage and cheer up the other. They will help each other develop more self-awareness, greater confidence and acceptance of their emotions.They trust each other strongly, knowing that they both have the best intentions for each other. They will teach the other to treat themselves more gently and to relax more.

🧡Jupiter sextile Mercury: This couple communicates in a positive and cheerful way, both give the other an optimistic and a new vision of situations. They both enjoy deep, philosophical conversations, enriching their relationship through mutual learning and intellectual exploration. They will never run out of topics of conversation, as both may feel particularly chatty with the other. They will positively influence the lives of each other.

🧡Jupiter sextile Venus: Both will want to enjoy and share together, they will celebrate each other's victories and happiness. Assets and wealth can be gathered without problem. Both of them will love to spoil each other in every possible way. This relationship makes them feel optimistic, happy and comfortable. They may see an increase in luck in their lives since they met each other. They will look to do little things that always put a smile on each other's faces.

🧡Jupiter sextile Mars: In this relationship there are no empty promises, they will always try to fulfill what they guarantee to the other. Confidence, joy and motivation. Life next to each other will never be draining or tiring. You will notice that the other will subconsciously inspire you to open up to new things, to take those leaps of faith and from all of this will come gratifying memories and experiences for both of you. They feel supported by each other.

🧡Jupiter sextile Saturn: Not only will you want a future together, but you will feel from a deep part of your heart that this is the right person. A desire to grow together, to be there for each other and to achieve many things. Long-term plans that are easily carried out. They feel each other's support when they share their goals and give each other that feeling of companionship and commitment.

🧡Jupiter sextile Uranus: Here both will be fascinated with each other's personality and ways of thinking. They will respect their independence and will cherish each other's authenticity. They will experience great things together, joy and novelty will be important themes in this relationship. Both will feel the freedom to be themselves with each other. They feel that they can put aside their barriers with their partner.

🧡Jupiter sextile Neptune: Connecting will be very easy for both of you, both emotionally and mentally. They have similar visions of life and are easy to understand others in the few areas in which they differ. They awaken the altruistic, sensitive and affectionate side of each other. They will seek to experience beautiful things next to each other and dream of a future together.

🧡Jupiter sextile Pluto: They will feel that their plans are working out in their favor and they will feel that their goals are more achievable hand in hand with each other. A strong and unwavering support that makes them a very strong couple, capable of overcoming any adversity with resilience. They feel a deep respect for each other and that leads them to appreciate and be dazzled by the other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Sun: They will have a lot of spiritual growth and this relationship can change their views on relationships for the better. They will feel satisfied and happy with the presence of each other in their lives and they will learn to enjoy life a little more. They know that they want to enjoy their partner and relationship in the present. They are inspired to live present at its fullest.

🧡Jupiter opposite Moon: Subconsciously they will brighten each other's day. They will be different but they will teach each other to enjoy the little things in life. They can be very optimistic with each other and always support their dreams, regardless of whether there is realism in them or not. Tender towards the other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Mercury: Great differences in the way of thinking will bring new perspectives to the other. Different beliefs, religions or visions of these. A lot of communication between you, you can appreciate each other's opinions despite the little similarity with the other. Despite this, they can be great company for each other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Venus: Both will always seek to maintain good humor and calm with each other. They may have different ideals of love. Fun and a lot of affection between both, they can fall into giving a lot to the other, which can be a problem if there is no balance, since one party may feel that they give more than the other. It is necessary to establish boundaries.

🧡Jupiter opposite Mars: In this relationship they will learn to balance their energy, working on the relationship constantly and gradually, without rushing. They both get excited just thinking about each other. They may think that the other person is very attractive although different from them.

🧡Jupiter opposite Saturn: There is strong support for each other and many times they will tend to place the other's feet on the ground. One of you may be more serious while the other is more easygoing. These differences can be a problem if you don't keep an open mind, but they can contribute a lot positively to each other's lives.

🧡Jupiter opposite Uranus: They are very different from each other but that does not diminish the fascination and curiosity they feel for each other. They feel that the other has something special that attracts them, even if they don't understand exactly what it is. They are inspired to be authentic and themselves.

🧡Jupiter opposite Neptune: Both of them will give a lot of themselves to the relationship, and it is crucial that they establish a balance. They will be very devoted to each other and will have the feeling that this relationship was meant to be, which can make them closer to each other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Pluto: Intense and irrational attraction, they will see the other as someone very capable and strong, even resilient and admirable. It can create a certain tension between you that awakens intense emotions, sensations and thoughts. There may be some competitiveness.

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🧡Jupiter square Sun: They both learn to relax and not take things in a hurry in this relationship. They enjoy every moment as a couple and can feel very optimistic about their future together. One of the parties (or both in some cases) may find it difficult to take things seriously. The aspect does not eliminate the good qualities of Jupiter.

🧡Jupiter square Moon: It is not usually a very big problem, but it can cause the other person not to want to disappoint the other or demotivate them regarding the relationship. There will be a lot of fun and an atmosphere of joy, there may be a slight touch of idealization.

🧡Jupiter square Mercury: This aspect does not take away from the abundant communication between you, but you may feel that sometimes you go around the bush or do not reach a definitive conclusion. You may think that the other person thinks very differently than you in some areas, which can be a problem if you are closed-minded.

🧡Jupiter square Venus: Difference in values ​​and priorities. Despite this, love is very strong and they are capable of giving a lot for each other, they have a lot of faith in the relationship and can place expectations on it. Adoration and a lot of appreciation, they can find the other attractive and interesting. They may have very different ideals of love and ways of loving.

🧡Jupiter square Mars: The attraction between the two is undeniable, the other's attitude will seem sexy and striking. They may have a tendency to rush into making decisions and even feel that the pace of the relationship is too fast. There may be differences in beliefs or ideals. And you two will probably want to accomplish a lot quickly as a couple.

🧡Jupiter square Saturn: They may have a different way of acting when it comes to their plans as a couple, one may be more idealistic and the other more practical and slow. It is necessary that they establish a balance and adapt to each other occasionally. The other may still feel admiration, because despite being different, they perceive each other as mature and wise on many occasions.

🧡Jupiter square Uranus: There can be very different ideologies, and in general they can have a very different way of behaving. They both unexpectedly entered each other's lives, and with them they brought many big and sudden changes. Both of you may need a lot of time alone and it is something you have to communicate to avoid misunderstandings.

🧡Jupiter square Neptune: They idealize each other a lot and their future together. There is a lot of mutual charm.They will awaken each other's sympathy, compassion and affection too quickly. Make sure you promise things you can keep and be clear about what you expect from the relationship.

🧡Jupiter square Pluto: They will bring many changes to each other's lives that will take them out of their comfort zones. They may be very closed or distrustful at first, but develop a growing respect for each other that makes them see themselves as people they should not mess with. They recognize the strength and power of the other.

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Astrology Observations 08/12/2024

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

Your Sun Sign as a Kid and as an Older Adult

 

Aries

Kid: Aries as a kid is a dreamer, the kind to escape in the corner of their room envisioning all that they wanted to unfold in their future. They loved solitude, as they felt they could be in their own world without interruption. They felt so intensely connected to their imagination that it became a focal point of their childhood. They begin to look at the school kids, excited by all the possibilities to bond with different people. They fell in love fast with their crushes, thinking of them constantly and hoping that they could experience the romance of their lifetime. The Aries child has a big heart and often can put their needs to the side to help another person in need. Innocent children who needed shielding from the harsh realities of the world. They desire much affection and reassurance from their family and friends.

 

Older Adult: Once the Aries becomes an older adult, their exuberant energy and impulsivity begin to slow down. These people begin to vibe and chill and don’t find themselves worked up by the usual. They focus more on stabilizing their lives so they can experience all they desire before they pass. Being around those they love makes them feel grounded, and they find that they have had enough thrills to become more routine. They begin to balance their ambitions with time for leisure and can find that vacationing, being out in nature, and tending to their home bring them satisfaction.

 

Taurus

Kid: As a kid, there was a surge of energy felt in your body, so it was easy to become irritable. You often went into your room and focused on whatever peaked your interest and couldn’t be bothered by others. You felt that whatever you wanted must be yours, and so any desire you had, you were in pursuit of. You often felt that you needed to do something, get your blood rushing, and, at times, enjoy the thrill of life and adventures. You fell easily for your crushes and often wanted to speak and spend time with them, though you had many and plenty of crushes. You may have been moody, but you were also very excited to share your positivity.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult Taurus, you have a knack for speaking. You can communicate effortlessly and may turn to public speaking, writing, and conveying information to others. You become engrossed in all of the new things you discover and find that the internet is your best friend. You enjoy going out to meet new people and may desire to change your social circle. You find that boredom sets in too easily, and so you go off to scram for your next adventure or form of stimulation. You may find that your best ideas come to you in the middle of a conversation, and you may venture into taking classes, going back to pursue another degree, or finding free courses. The library is also another one of your interests, or just purchasing books. For fun, you’ll explore new places locally.

 

Gemini

Kid: As a child, Gemini, you were reserved and chill. Oftentimes, you lay back and let others be the stars of the show. You were picky and hard to please, oftentimes stubborn. Your parents may have had a hard time convincing you when you didn’t want to do something. You could’ve thought you were far more mature than your peers and wanted your parents to give you access to things that weren’t age-appropriate. You easily got bored of your new toy and wanted new things fairly fast. There is some sort of satisfaction that the Gemini child gets from being surrounded by material possessions. There is also a deep desire for the Gemini to feel stable and to have a very fixed routine that they follow. It takes longer for the Gemini child to form a crush and to talk to their crushes.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult Gemini, you begin to crave the smell of a freshly baked pie in the oven, the softness of your bed, and a nice hot shower at the end of the night. Nothing brings you more joy than your family, and you often feel delighted being around your children, partner, and grandchildren. You look at your home as a safe haven and may find that you want to renovate or improve it. Warm and sentimental, memories mean everything to you, and as much as you enjoy making them, you also enjoy the nostalgia of reviewing them. You feel your emotions much more, and that allows you to gain more insight into yourself and others. You lounge around on the sofa with your phone in your hand and a hot tea, talking about your day. You find that stability is what makes you feel at peace, so you secure your spot at your job and make sure to keep your savings.

 

Cancer

Kid: As a child Cancer, nothing peaked your interest more than people and your environment. You wanted to explore your hometown and make new friends. You were full of ideas, and your friends were always up to the things you wanted to do. Everything was interesting to you, and you found that there were many questions you pondered. You may have always needed an answer to some new theory or question in your mind. With so much going on mentally, journals were your best friend. Writing allowed you to get it out of your head and on paper. You were the child going from one thing to the next because you hated the feeling of being bored. The most exciting thing was taking a trip somewhere, whether to the beach, your family's house, or the zoo. Going the distance for an experience was exciting and a hallmark of your childhood.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult with cancer, you find that you enjoy being recognized. You no longer want to hide and can enjoy putting your talents, creativity, and style boldly out there for others. You enjoy compliments and luxury. You aim for the highest quality items, and you find that your big heart is incredibly devoted and generous to your loved ones. Warm and affectionate, you thrive during family gatherings or in your career as you make strides towards success. Your glow becomes infectious, and you age like fine wine. People love your positivity, and you gain a lot of new friends and suitors.

 

Leo

Kid: As a kid, nothing excites you more than coming home to your favorite food. The scent taking over your house made you feel at home and delighted to exist. Family meant everything to you, and you enjoyed time with your grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings. Sensitive at heart, you cherished every new friend you made. The holidays were an exciting time for you and a hallmark of your childhood. In the midst of the busyness, you took time to indulge in your imagination.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Leo, you find that you want to refine your life. Everything needs an upgrade, and you’re very particular in your aesthetic and taste. Your focus may turn towards being of service to those around you; you may be the one people call on for assistance. You find that you get intrigued and more pragmatic towards your career goals, and you may switch into a field where you can learn and advance. You are not easy to let people in, and you compartmentalize your life. You may have work friends, but outside of work, you tend to tread a different path and present a different character. You become organized and want to put your best self forward.

 

Virgo

Kid: As a kid, you were multi-talented and incredibly creative. People often rejoiced in hearing your ideas, and you had an infectious smile and aura that made people fond of you. You were generous, offering yourself and your possessions to others. With such a big heart, it was easy for teachers, parents, and friends to like you. Playtime was very exciting, and you enjoyed exploring your mind through play. You enjoyed affection, affirmations, and compliments. You stood out and did things others wanted to do for themselves.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Virgo, you find that your taste expands. You have an eye for beauty and art. You may find that you’re drawn to the field of the arts and that you have a desire to upgrade your fashion and style. You enjoy socializing and find that you get along with all different kinds of people, but harmony in your relationships is prioritized. Your social circle widens, and opportunities to travel, be promoted at work, or go out around town open. You find that people are drawn to you without you doing much. You care a lot about others and are constantly looking to improve the circumstances or the world. You find partnership very important and focus on deepening your bond or finding your soulmate.

 

Libra

Kid: As a kid, you enjoyed reading a lot. Your source of entertainment was learning, and it felt great to be able to read up on different subjects. You were the kid watching everyone else, observant of your surroundings; you were trying to make sense of the world around you. Kind and manner-able, you followed directions and were sweet to other children. You often looked to others to see what was appropriate behavior, and you found out quickly what you needed to do in order to fit in. You wanted to do well at everything you did, and a simple art project encouraged you to bring out all your technical skills. You wanted to impress others with your ability to surpass expectations.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Libra, you seek to gain status in this world. You’re not the person who wants to flaunt it; instead, something intense and intrinsic tells you you need to make a mark on this world and leave behind a legacy. You begin to pick up momentum, determined to work towards success. In the meantime, you also have a deep desire to search for the truth, and your spiritual beliefs may shift. You may find that you go through a transformation unexpectedly that shifts your perception of the world and makes you feel and see things much deeper. You can start to grow distrustful of people and become more private with yourself. It can be hard to gain access to you as you have a different perception of your relationships.

 

Scorpio

Kid: As a kid, Scorpio, you are a social butterfly. You love being around others, especially your friends who you chat the day away with. You enjoyed the luxuries of life as a kid: dining out, movies, parks, etc. You love having a good time and being out and about. Receiving gifts and new things excited you, and the more possessions you had, the more content you felt. You were always there for those you felt were not getting what they deserved because you believed in their well-being. You enjoy dressing up, changing, and experimenting with your style, and you loved romance films and had many crushes.

 

Older adult: As an older adult Scorpio, you give zero fucks. You don’t care what people think of you because your pleasure and enjoyment are what matter, and you’re going to do the things that fulfill you. You may find that you start to look at your beliefs and may start to ponder questions of life that you haven’t examined before. You may feel the need to join a religion, turn to spirituality, or go through a period of reinventing and finding yourself. You laugh loudly and have a lot of fun; distant lands and traveling locally both sound exhilarating. You’re less rigid and more open and perceptive, allowing others to understand your inner workings more.

 

Sagittarius

Kid: As a kid, you were interesting; leaving you alone wasn’t hard because there was a level of maturity you held at a young age. You were also quite introverted, always scanning and analyzing those who came close to you. You were the chill kid, but deep inside was an entire world no one knew about, and you were firm with that. You kept it to yourself and explored it on your own. Oftentimes, as a kid, you were stuck on carving out your own path, which could’ve led to either an interesting group of friends or a more lonesome social life. You were interested in an array of fascinating topics, and you constantly wanted to learn and know more.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, you get serious. You mean business, and you want to be the boss and at the top of what you do. You don’t have time to wait on the sidelines; you need to be at the forefront. Stability means everything to you because you want to enjoy your retirement. You like to be around material possessions, and you find that you are more into quality than quantity. You are honest and direct in how you speak, but you don’t have time for the fluff; you want to know what is true and real. You find that you have an easier time handling responsibilities.

 

Capricorn

Kid: As a kid, Capricorn, you were hungry for knowledge. Nothing makes you feel more at home than learning more and getting deep into your studies and interests. You were hardly satisfied with scratching the surface as you plunged deeper and deeper into your curiosity’s. You often said whatever was on your mind, which could make for great humor or a lot of awkwardness. You always wanted to experience more, and you had a deep desire for total freedom. Outside of your fascinations, you were lighthearted and fun. You boosted people’s mood just by being around, and they were cherished for your strong personality.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Capricorn finds that routine is frustrating and that, after all, accumulating possessions isn’t as satisfying. The Capricorn starts to deviate from their goals and starts thinking large. They realize there is a whole world out there, and what part do they play in creating a better society for the next generation? The Capricorn takes their material possessions and donates them, does volunteer work, and advocates for other disadvantaged people. The Capricorn finds that they become interested in new technologies and different communities that they’ve never been apart of. By increasing their social presence, Capricorn gains a lot of new and unique friends with whom they can share their ideas.

 

Aquarius

Kid: As a kid, Aquarius, you were studious. You followed the rules, did what was told, and wanted to exceed expectations. You were reserved and often preferred to be in the background. You talked in a direct way and may have enjoyed extracurricular activities and being challenged. You gained a lot of awards, medals, and badges. You weren’t focused much on crushes. You were often more mature in acting or looking than those around you. You kept how you felt to yourself.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Aquarius, you find yourself connected to your spirituality a lot more. Your connection to others in your life is a strength, and it’s as if you feel life has transformed for you. You begin to feel your emotions more intensely, which leads you to stray off to yourself to escape into your own fantasy world. You could really find that your inner world is far more fascinating than the world outside your home. You discover sides to yourself that you haven't, and you strengthen your relationship with your partner or find yourself in search of your soulmate. The artistic side of you shines more, and you can feel that laying low and occupying yourself on your own feels a lot more fun.

 

Pisces

Kid: As a kid, you stand out; you’re sort of an odd ball in your own way. People find you interesting, and you might even be puzzled by yourself. There is a level of surprise and unpredictability that comes with it. You often, at times, rebel for the sake of it. You love meeting all kinds of people and enjoy learning about others and their lives. You find that you don’t want to tie yourself down much and enjoy grandiose ideas. When you have one, you’re sure to tell everyone as well. At times, you detach from your own world and can seem a bit disinterested in life and others.

 

Older Adult: You find that you have come out of your cave and made your mark on this world. One day things change, and you have a certain boldness that shocks others. You start manifesting and creating the life you want, and all of the things you mentioned finally sprout. You go through many phases before finding the path to what you truly feel resonates, and you’re always cheerful, making others smile. You find that you can assert yourself and your boundaries easier.

 

 

 

 

Why These Pairings End Up Together

Aries- Virgo

These signs both have a focus on goals and desire loyalty.

Taurus-Libra

These signs share sensitivity and a mental connection.

Gemini-Scorpio

These signs are both powerful, one determined to gain success and the other determined to influence.

Cancer- Sagittarius

These signs both go after what they want and value honesty.

Leo-Capricorn

These signs are both independent and confident.

Virgo-Aquarius

These signs both desire a better world and share a spiritual bond.

Libra-Pisces

These signs are both artistic and in their own worlds.

Scorpio-Aries

These signs are both strong and powerful leaders.

Sagittarius-Taurus

These signs are both physical and spiritual.

Capricorn-Gemini

These signs both speak their minds and have influence.

Aquarius-Cancer

These signs both are visionaries who don’t mind taking their time to make things great.

Pisces-Leo

These signs both are creative and involve themselves with others very well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[diejager]

Bittersweet Devotion pt.2

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

Cw: angst, heartbreak, mention of cheating, mention of death, no happy ending, apology, tell me if I missed any. wc: 9.3k

Previous

Your universe, Earth-XXX, was a parallel one to Earth-616 in some sense. You had a Peter Parker, a Gwen Stacy and a Mary Jane Watson, it had everything down to the death of Ben Parker and the devastation it brought to your friend. It was the same year as Spider-Man 616’s world, it had the same political standing and same history. Your world, like many others, was a near carbon copy of 616, down to the smallest things; but like others in the spiderverse, you had differences. Some were minor changes in the course of its canon story, others were major changes in the characters and the era.

You - like Miguel, Miles, Jess, Hobart (he liked going by Hobie), Patrick and Patriv - were one of those major deviations in the original canon. You didn’t exist - or so you thought - in Peter B. or Peter’s universe even though you lived in the same year. The reason might be that in the reality, the sum of all potential universes that paralleled each other, created the multiverse - the Spiderverse. 

The concept of it seemed strangely unlimited, the infinite possibilities to a different ending or a different start for its world. The multiverse was, in some sense, as old as time, a culmination of everything made imaginable by man. Found in ancient texts - the Puranas, ancient Hindu mythology - that expressed the infinite number of universes with their gods and principles. Whereas Persian literature - tales - touched the idea of learning about alternate universes that were similar, yet distinctly different from theirs. 

Misconstrued by many, the strangeness of it was deemed a danger, the unknown possibilities were feared by people of older age, but venerated in the past as it was in the present for the unfathomable possibilities. It exists in fiction, where they borrowed the idea of many worlds within a reality from myths, legends and religion. Heaven, Hell, Olympus and Valhalla were all reflections of a familiar world, a material realm for the blessed, the sinful, the gods, and the worthy. The similarities sometimes frightened you, how close the people were to knowing of the reality you all lived in. The tangibility of crossing worlds and bringing about chaos to every string, every realm, every material form of the multiverse. 

They, after all, were real, Hell as much as Heaven in your universe. Gods from every religion, either monotheistic or polytheistic, some you’d personally seen are Thor and Loki, brother and sons of Odin the Allfather, and the God of Thunder and Mischief respectively. Another was a big crocodile lady, Ammit, from what you’d heard from the all-knowing Dr. Strange. From God to Norse and Egyptian gods, from angels and demons, and from humans to mutants, your plane of existence was as wide as it could go without drifting off the edge and causing a mass domino effect within the multiverse.

You were curious, naturally so for a scientist, exploring the worlds that felt familiar to you but you hadn’t truly grasped -  different, yet similar. You hadn’t given a second thought to exploring yours. After all, why explore yours when your horizon was as broad as you imagined it, unperturbed by any limits when it came to the multiverse? The eternal and unlimited growing number of realms in your expanding reality.

Perhaps that was the reason why you hadn’t known your universe had its own Miguel O’Hara. You rarely came back for anything, you had everything you’ve ever wanted in Nueva York, Earth-928. You have friends who could truly understand you, people who stood beside you when you fought, youngsters who looked up to you for mentoring and a dream- or it was a dream. Dreams, not dissimilar to wishes, were hopeful, naive in a way, they came and went. Some dreams would come true, while others fell, like the fallen stars that crossed the night sky.

Yours simply happened to be a fallen one, one not meant to happen and become greater. You let it go after he dropped you, after he turned his back and let his mouth run unperturbed. He brought her up, someone he swore he would remember but left in the past. A new chance to become something, to become whole again, and Miguel took it. He wanted to start anew, fresh with someone he never met, you wanted the same; you both had what you wished for, until he put his foot down, cutting the thin web that connected both your lives.

It broke your heart. Months of patience and anxiously stepping around each other, nervous about breaking the trust freshly built between you both, lost in a few weeks. You were brittle, heart fractured and threatening to fall further apart if someone was any crueller to you. The smallest glare, the tiniest scoff or the weakest remark would send you reeling into the abyss of heartbreak and the throes of anguish. Yet somehow, you found yourself being led away by a copy of the Miguel you loved. 

He mumbled apologies as he held you tightly, his arm over your shoulder as he cradled you under his umbrella, hastily urging you to follow his guidance. If it were any other person, you would’ve been wary, cautious of any strangers that touched you so closely and chaperoned you so quickly; but this was Miguel, a man you trusted and that you still trusted wherever he came from. Earth-XXX’s Miguel O’Hara was still similar to the one you knew, someone you could trust. You did.

He led you to his flat, someplace near Alchemax’s building in Manhattan, a safe neighbourhood for the richer citizens of Manhattan. A cozy place of neutral tones and muted colours, yet warm as he welcomed you - a stranger as of yet - into his home. He had machinery strewn around, reports stacked on his coffee table and smaller things he had been tinkering about decorating his home. As a geneticist, he liked to play with machinery, having drawn his designs and models, built his creations from scratch and worked from the base programming to make something better. At least Miguel from Earth-928 did, and it seemed this one did as well. 

You stood in his shower, where he left you in a frenzy to bring you dry clothes, drying out your hair with the towel he motioned you to use. You doubted that he had anything your size, his broad shoulders and his towering height, nothing he had in his draws - and the boxes he stowed away in his closet - would fit you. They would drag down your ankle and sit low on your collar. Granted, you were soaked down to your socks and had no temporary clothes to cover yourself with during your stay. 

You had stripped from your soaked clothes and patted down your wet skin, shivering from the cold that clung to your bones even after Miguel had increased the heater in the small confines of the bathroom. It was small but big enough to move around and stretch your arms comfortably. You hadn’t felt the cold until he brought you to his bathroom, the numbness of the past months weighing heavily on your shoulders and the bleeding of your heart made everything seem so meaningless. The colours draining from the world around you, a once bright New York turned grey, the monochrome tones of black and white mixing and interlacing to form even more boring shades. 

The vibrancy and life you once saw around you dulled and died suddenly, like the winters brought by Demeter’s devastation and sadness when her daughter was taken from her, stolen from the berth of flowers she liked frolicking about. How Demeter doomed the world to see her pain, to feel how she felt in the moments her daughter had to return to her husband than stay with Demeter. You felt laden by your faults and his actions. Doubtful of your relationship, of what led you both to such an ending. Had you been clearer or more forthcoming about your emotions, or had you confronted him for his behaviour, would you still be in his arms? 

Were you at fault for missing something you had relied on as comfort and safety? Could you be blamed for his reaction to your meddling in his affairs in the Society? Could you blame him for dropping those words on you? After all, being reminded or compared to a past lover was anything but gentle, the gut-wrenching envy and betrayal you felt flash through you was nearly drowning. It made you feel lacking, to be reminded of his old flame, the one he was about to marry and the person he seemed to love before all. Could you even compare to what she was; what she did? (Dina had cheated on him, you knew that, but he was truly happy in their moments of pleasure and domesticity. They were a family until she died.)

You were drowning in your self-made sorrow when his voice called you, grounding you to the room. Standing before a door, naked and shivering, arms wrapping the damp towel around your shoulders. He called again, cracking the door open to pass you the - his - clothes he thought would fit you. He coughed as you took your temporary wear, your cool fingers brushing his warm ones. It was a sudden and jerking contact, you pulled back jerkingly, a shamble of an apology and a thank you flew from your tongue. His chuckle was a reassurance in the complete quietness of the flat, his low voice reminding you of better times. 

The sweater hung loosely around you, dipping down your collar to expose your shoulder. It was warm, the cotton used to make it still soft after being stored away and the soothing scent of spice and pine deeply integrated into the fibres. The pants were stretched around your hips, the tight fabric thin and flexible under stress, hidden under the long shirt. The legs, however, swayed loosely around your limbs, too big for your calves, but tight enough to hug your thighs. He had certainly made sure to bring you clothes that would fit your frame. You hadn’t attempted to smell his pants, you thought it would’ve been too intrusive and disgusting to do so if only to smell a remnant of Miguel on his as you did on the sweater. 

Miguel was waiting for you in the kitchen, his back turned to you as you ambled towards him. His shoulders loose and back relaxed in the presence of a stranger made you appreciate how good-natured he was in most universes you’d been to. He turned his head, gesturing you to sit on the chair facing him on the island as he returned to something he was making while you changed. 

“I hope you don’t mind hot chocolate,” he started, voice light and hopeful as he turned to you, cup in each hand as he moved to stare at you. “I’m not one for tea.” He slid the warm mug into your hand, eyes watching your expression as he slowly sipped on the hot beverage. 

His eyes squinted slightly when your lips curled upwards, a smile hidden by the steaming mug. You cupped the mug, feeling the warmth of the freshly brewed drink, the steam rising in soft curls and melting in the cooler atmosphere. Tentatively, you brought the rim to your lips, slowly tilting the cup. The powerful taste of chocolate hit you strongly, the sweet and dark liquid melting the tension in your muscles until you could curl over the table with an appreciative sigh. 

“Thank you…” you knew his name, wanting to call him, but his reaction would be unwanted, the shock, fear and suspicion that would fill his beautiful, brown eyes. So you slurred your words, dragging out your voice until he could tell you his name himself.

“Miguel. Miguel O’Hara, ” he nodded, cocking his head upwards, pointing at you with his chin. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Hey every time I want to call you.” His lips broke into a cheeky smile, teasing you when he saw that you’d comfortably melted into the drink and his island chair. He wanted to ease the tense atmosphere from before into something much calmer, to help the accumulated tension in your shoulders to fall like the rain that clouded the streets of New York.

You let out a hoarse chuckle, your throat still fresh from crying, and told him your name, trying to stabilise your shaking tone. His cheeky smirk tugged at your heartstrings, you hadn’t seen Miguel laugh or smile this freely in months. You missed it. The casual banter you shared and the on-and-off insults you’d hurl at one another, all good-natured insults meant to rile him. 

“Thank you, Miguel,” you nearly choked when you uttered his name, the wound still so fresh and bleeding it slip from your tongue easily. It brought up so many memories, both painful and joyful. Your eyes glazed over, tears threatening to fall once again, to paint your cheeks with agony that you - him, or perhaps both of you - had brought on yourself. “Thank you…”

Miguel hummed sympathetically, eyes staring down at his drink, deep in thought. Perhaps he was thinking of a way to invite you to share your problems, to tell him why you broke down on the street in stormy weather. Or maybe he was thinking of the fastest way to kick you out, to get rid of the mess you became. The silence, however, was reassuring, calming the nerves that followed the eerie calmness of Miguel’s den or the loud, hectic atmosphere of the Society. His warm, worrying gaze grounded you, the softness behind his concerned stare was heartwarmingly nostalgic.

“Difficult breakup?” His words seemed hesitant, unsure of his conclusion to the cause of your appearance. Unknowingly, he had struck gold, pinning down the right problem in your life with a few observations. Of course, he was observant and aware of his surroundings, why else was he so willing to bring you into his home? 

“How’d ya know?”

His sigh was telling, the deep, concerned and tired breath was only used when he knew that you wouldn’t tell him what ailed you, like the groan of a disappointed, yet worried father. 

“Because I know how it feels,” he says slowly, pensive over his words, picking them carefully to not damage you further than your ex had. He knew the pain of a harsh breakup, the pain and sorrow that followed, like a dark cloud that hovered over you whenever you were awake. 

“Why?” You croaked.

“Why?” he parroted, frowning at your question.

“Why did you invite me in? I’m a- a stranger to you, you don’t even know me. What if I’d been acting to mug you or potentially kill and steal from you? What’d you do then, Miguel?”

“I know the risks, but you didn’t, didn’t you? And wouldn’t, you don’t look like the person to harm another.”

You scoffed at his words. Didn’t and wouldn’t didn’t mean you would not do it later after gaining his trust, to stab him in the back after he helped you and nursed you. The simple, naïve idea that you didn’t look like a violent person was mind-blowing, it was stupid. How could he know if you didn’t mean harm later on? Like how Miguel never meant to harm you - he loved you - and yet in the end, he had. 

“That’s naïve,” you muttered, eyes closed as you drank the cooling beverage, the sugary drink trickling down your throat. 

“I’m confident in my ability to read people.”

He did seem confident in his ability, the straight back and the strong gaze in his eyes showed; and, maybe because you knew from experience that Miguel was observant and careful, he hadn’t gotten where he was by simply trusting people and following the herd. He tested and made mistakes, he learned from them each time and found a way to use it to his advantage. The Miguel you saw in every universe was similar in some ways, their good nature, their cunningness, their bravery and their intelligence. All aspects known to characterize Miguel O’Hara in all universes he existed in. 

You conceded to his will, head bowed and shoulders slack. You breathed shallowly, swallowing the lump in your throat:

“Yeah, what gave it away?”

You thought it would be the last of him you’d see in your life, you wished it wouldn’t, that you’d see him over and over, to feel what the Miguel from your universe had to give, but you knew it was wishful thinking, a wish thrown to the stars. Logically, he had no reason to call or text you after exchanging numbers days prior. He promised to call you, and he made you promise to call him if anything ever resurfaced, be it pain, anger, heartbreak or hate. You, instinctively, believed his word. 

You hated yourself for falling so easily to another Miguel, how you bent to his words and the sweet promises he uttered that night. There was no sign that he would keep his word, that he would see you again after your breakdown, except for his words and your belief in him. Then it wasn’t misplaced, all the trust and belief you had, since he called you, asking to meet up at a cafe. Miguel had set up a place and time for you when you replied with a croak, still feeling down. He had whispered reassuring words to you, urging you to meet him - he explicitly told you he’d feel offended to be stood up - and spend some time outside. The air was fresh and cool for an autumnal month, it wasn’t too cold that you were forced to wear a thick jacket, but it wasn’t warm enough for you to go out in a simple shirt. 

You were hesitant to take him up on his offer, knowing how easily you could rebound. You’d crash into Miguel’s open arms, searching for the love and affection he fed you like a lovesick puppy, but, then again, Earth-XXX’s Miguel was similar, yet different from his variant. It would be a lie if you told yourself you didn’t miss him, the soft smiles, the gentle touches and the affectionate words. You had spent so much time as his right-hand Spider that it felt odd not seeing him the following morning. It was a routine you’d formed: waking up in his bed, kissing him good morning, getting to work together and eating together. Everything you’d done in the past years was with Miguel from Earth-928 the routine, the rigidity, it was grounding, it was the only semblance of normalcy in the world you lived in.

Now, you had to face the possibility that you were too broken to see another Miguel, to hold a casual conversation and form coherent and normal sentences. The purposefully slow steps you took to the cafe picked after having a moment outside the glass front were telling in itself. You swallowed the little amount of saliva in your throat to soothe its dryness and walked through the doors of the quaint establishment. It was painted in calm, brown tones, rustic in design with a warmth that rivalled the comfort of your bed. It lifted a bit of the tension you had, shoulders slumping slightly as your eyes searched for a familiar mop of brown hair.

Laying against the brown sofa, he stared out of the wide window from his booth. The warm, morning lights caressed his cheeks, lighting up the sharp edges of his jaw and nose. He was sculpted in perfection, like the youthful beauty of Adonis, crafted with the meticulous and attention-catching hands of an artist that created what was thought to be a god’s beauty. You could spend your days watching him, catching every little detail of Miguel’s face under the changing lighting, but you were standing near the entrance and he was waiting for you. His words echoed in your mind: “Don’t forget about next week, I miss seeing you.”

His eyes flickered to you, blinking as he turned to you, flashing a smile. You returned the sentiment, a shaky smile lifting the corners of your lips. You sat across from him, eyes wandering the cafe to stare at anything but him, lest you wouldn’t be able to stop the rush of emotions that would light your face in a flush. He uttered your name, greeting you in a friendly manner. You nodded back, muttering his name, pushing down the wince whenever you said it. 

“Chocolate.”

The still-warm cup stared at you, light steam wafting over the reflective liquid. It was full, unlike Miguel’s cup, and drank down to the middle of the container. 

“Thank you.”

He probably wouldn’t let you repay him for the hot chocolate he bought you, the smile he gave you told you as much when your eyes flickered between his and your cup. The hot chocolate was a reminder of your night in his flat, where he lent you his shoulder to cry and his ears to listen. Embarrassment seemed to flash whenever you recalled the memory, how vulnerable you were to him, your walls broken down and your heart open. Though, Miguel didn’t seem to mind your fragility, giving you as much time as you needed. 

“How are you? I wanted to give you a few days to think before meeting again, I thought you might’ve needed the time alone.”

You nodded lamely, fingers curling around the warm porcelain, back slumped into the booth to hide from his knowing eyes. He was right, you had needed the time alone to clean yourself up, scour through your memories and tend to whatever mess you made of yourself. You were thankful. The last few days had brought revelations, how - both of - you had ignored the signs of a rupture in the relationship and continued to push on, like crossing a crumbling bridge. 

“‘M doing better. How- and how are you?”

He smiled at your attempt, you were trying on your own after a few - forced - encouraging words from Miguel. Maybe you’d learn to live with the pain, coexisting with the numbness that filled you until it dulled to a point where it would be barely acknowledged by you or anyone in your vicinity - where it wasn’t painted on your face with bright colours. Or the pursuit to forget it, pushing it into the farthest corner of your mind and heart, painting over the crack with glue. As long as you wouldn’t drown in your sorrows, ending up playing with dangerous substances to stay afloat while your mind sunk deeper into addiction and denial. 

He wouldn’t let you get that far, Miguel understood you and he lived through it as you did. Although his was a more violent breakup - she had cheated on him, his explosive reaction was natural - than yours, he hadn’t relied on anything but self-meditation and a lot of thinking. Like a friend - you were one by his standards, he’d invited you to his flat, you’d seen his organized chaos and ranted about your life while he comforted you with his shoulder and a cup of hot chocolate - he would stay by your side, hoping his support would be enough to help you.

“Great so far.”

His grin - somehow - grew even larger, enthusiasm gleaming in his eyes. 

Oftentimes, Miguel would be the one to call you, your phone ringing in the afternoon of the day prior with his soothing voice on the other end of the line. He spoke easily, finding the time to invite you out for the simplest reason, to talk, to make a drink, to have fun, and - your favourite by far - to see you. His initiative had you trying to double your efforts to heal, reaching outside of your boundaries and texting Miguel whenever you had a moment to yourself. You felt guilty that he was always the one to plan these outings, so you promised yourself that you’d become a better friend than you currently were. You even remembered his teasing tone when you called him for the first time:

”Aye, finally. I thought you’d never call me, chica. I felt neglected, thought you had forgotten about me for a second there.”

It started with the first coffee date, bickering about who would pay, pushing your card before the other while still seated at your table, frowning stubbornly and throwing promises about letting the other pay next time. Either way, Miguel rarely let you pay, coming atop as the winner of your little fight with his strength and height (you couldn’t exactly put all your force into your push, it could break bone and bruise the skin.).

Then it would be random meetings on the streets that would lead you to a random bench at the park, basking in the other’s presence, retelling your day and him nitpicking anything he could with a ridiculously criticising frown. He was playing, you knew he was. You did the same after you’d gotten more comfortable talking to him, it became easier to see him as a different - as his own - person. A few hits on the shoulder left and right, but it was mostly laughter at ridiculous expressions made to emphasize your disdain for a certain event.

The months that followed were a blur to you. Rather than going to a cafe or the park, you went to restaurants and crashed at one of your flats, yours if he wanted to play games and lounge about with food and drinks, and his if you wanted to watch movies (he had the best television you’d ever seen, such high definition and speed.) and tinker away at his inventions and theories. He was certainly happy that his new friend was another scholar in the field of genes and engineering (you were mostly into engineering than genes, but you knew a few things that you’d found interesting.). You could both gush - scientifically - about the possibility of gene splicing and lab-generated mutations in humans, like the mutant superheroes. 

You’d taken some liberties and went drinking, meeting at the same bar biweekly to relax after a few hard days at work. It served to loosen your nerves until either of you felt comfortable to chat up a storm about the most random subject. It’d been about the odd dent on the rim of his glass; then it’d be about how the sky was grey this week, there weren’t any warm, yellow rays blaring down on you when you went out; or it’d be about the distasteful cut of a man’s moustache. Drinking loosened your tongues, some words were said and some sentiments were shared, but none were truly taken seriously knowing you were tipsy - nearing drunk - those nights.

Every time you saw Miguel, you felt like you were rediscovering a part of yourself as well as him, the thing that made him so distinct and loveable. Miguel was expressive and honest, he slowly and gently let you down from whatever high you were, the pillar you needed to stand again after falling. He was so much different. It used to pain you how much they looked alike, but character-wise, they were like the two sides of a coin. It made you appreciate the delicate intricacies that made the multiverse.

You won’t - can’t - deny that you’ve grown fond of this Miguel as you did with the other one, but you couldn’t let yourself love him. He didn’t deserve someone broken and hashed into many lives: the masks you wore, the things you did, the secrets you hid, and the things you could do. He didn’t deserve someone who could bring him to his death; dying simply because he was connected to Spider-Woman; beaten simply because he knew Spider-Woman; kidnapped simply because they deemed him useful as leverage. All things that could go wrong haunt you. Miguel was human, he wasn’t a Spider, he wasn’t a superhero, and he wasn’t a vigilante. He was Miguel O’Hara, the geneticist working at Alchemax, with a brilliant mind and a kind heart. 

You cherished every part of him. That’s why you can’t let your heart lead, dedicate how you’d react to Miguel after the months you spent together. He was so close, yet so far; he was touchable, you could hold him, kiss him and hug him, but he was unattainable, you couldn’t tell him how much you loved him. You watched him with hidden love, showing your affection as platonic, a friend watching another. You had hardened yourself to your heart’s cries, for loving Miguel was a dangerous game-

“I- what?” you gawked at Miguel, wide eyes and mouth agape. You were shocked at the words that left his mouth, his soft, wet lips moving as he repeated the words.

“I love you.”

His cheeks were flushed, burning a soft red, it trailed to his ears and nape. His open collar - his jacket hung on the back of his chair and his shirt clung below his collar, a skin-tight shirt that hugged his sculpted chest sinfully, it hid little to the seeing eyes of the crowd and your drunk self. His sudden words had all but sobered you, shaking you into clear lucidity of his confession.

“You… love me?”

He blinked dumbly at you for a second, as if taking the time to absorb what he told you and what you repeated. Miguel was tipsy, not drunk. He smiled and nodded, a bashfully affectionate grin on his beautiful lips.

“Yes, is it so hard to believe, chica?”

He often called you chica, you thought it was a friendly term of endearment between friends (truthfully and regretfully, you knew little of Spanish, even with being in a committed relationship with an Irish-Mexican.). You just realised it was his pet name for you. All this time, he had given you his heart, and yet, you had denied him of yours. He was more playful and less burdened by life, it made him more teasing and smiling. The term chica somewhat made sense, a cuter and more playful way of calling someone you loved than the deep-meaning ones like mi cielo and mi vida, a play of words like a small secret between you. This secret hid behind names given between friends, a well-kept one, close to his chest but gifted to you. 

It might’ve once been - started - as friends, but it grew and festered in his heart until he found the time to express himself, to tell you how he truly felt for you - how he grew to care for you. He deemed this moment fine, bordering tipsy and nearing drunk, he’d be open, brutally honest but still aware of the words that left him. He wasn’t a lightweight anyway. 

You wanted to tell him you also loved him, but you couldn’t do it, mouth slightly open and eyes glazed with heartbreak, you simply stared at him in hesitancy. You opened your mouth once to reply and closed it, open and close, again and again until all you could do was stare at him. How were you supposed to answer him after the bomb he dropped? 

”Yes! I love you too!”

”Oh, Miguel, I love you too.”

”I- I love you as well.”

There were so many ways to express your feelings to the man who confessed, but none seemed to convey the true emotions that lay in your heart. You wanted to tell him you learned to love again thanks to him, that the time spent with him had made you open your eyes to the beauty that you were blinded by the pain and you slowly grew to care for - love - him as much as you did with Spider-Man 2099. He had the same smile, the same mind, the same heart, but he was more innocent, less burdened by disaster and happier. 

So you simply nodded. It made his smirk grow.

“Aye- would it be better if I called you ‘mi tesoro’ instead? It’s more straightforward, no?”

Even now, his words were light and playful, his tone affectionate as he leaned closer to you. You could see the mischievous glint in his warm, chocolate eyes (you thought that was why he liked serving you hot chocolate, it reminded you of his eyes.) and the curve of his lips as they moved to form words. You were transfixed by his beauty, mesmerised by the comforting hues and the sharpness of his cheeks, missing how close he was to you. 

“Or maybe-”

Softness caressed your lips, a plush, warm feeling that made you flush. He was kissing you, those pretty lips on yours. Your breath stuttered and you froze, but it didn’t stop Miguel’s initiative, a hand cradled your nape, holding you in place as he pushed himself closer to you. He moved against you, tongue slipping from his mouth and tentatively laving over your bottom lip, asking for something. 

He was so warm, so caring. You could just close your eyes and follow his lead - you did. He pushed harder, yet the kiss stayed soft and passionate, he lightly nipped your lip and soothed the stinging with his warm tongue, beckoning you to open your mouth for him. Your lips parted, opening up for Miguel to dive in, muscle meeting yours halfway and curling over yours. He still cradled your head, fingers running through your loose hair and tilting your head backwards, giving him more space to show you how much he loved you. Your arms, somehow, found themselves wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close to you as he was pushing himself against you. 

His kiss was loving, his hold was careful and his touch heartwarming. You almost regretted having to pull away, but you had to breathe, your lungs starving for air after having been devoured by Miguel’s adoring kiss. The moment you opened your eyes (you didn’t know you had closed them while you kissed), his smile greeted you, a lovesick one bubbling with unending joy. You almost choked from how it fit so well on him. 

“That’s- that’s one way…” you spoke between breaths, chest swelling with every erratic pant, matching his similarly worn-out breathing.

That was all he needed from you. Your kiss was enough for him to know you loved him the same, a patient and gentle love he was willing to give you. Your heart pulsed strongly, lips curving and eyes squinting, you pushed yourself closer to his heat, his all-encompassing warmth that wrapped around you when you wanted to feel safe and loved. Your world couldn’t be any brighter, like the vibrant colours of blooming flowers when Persephone was given to her mother, where the snow melted and colours washed over the lands once more, painting the blank white and dead grey in joyous tones. It glowed brightly and warmed you like the summers that followed the melting ice, the clear, blue skies of Olympus and as freeing as the soaring hawks and skipping elks.

Letting go was far harder than loving. To let the person who you let in leave felt emptying, it left a gaping hole in his heart. Where it was once calm, struck a raging storm of rejection and regret, crashing waves the size of Poseidon’s rage and violent storms the strength of Zeus’ retribution. It hurt watching you walk beside a variant of himself, a happier and lighter version of him without his mutations or duty. You were the Spider-Woman of your universe so there wouldn’t be a second one unless there was a catastrophic canon divergence. 

He hadn’t followed you at first, respecting your wishes of being left alone. He had to give you that much, at least, after those months spent beside his ignorant ass. He hadn’t seen it until it was too late, lost under the weight of his duty and fears that he’d forgotten he had people who cared, who felt, who loved. It was too late, it was always too late with him. If he couldn’t fix his first mistake, who’s to say he could fix this? He couldn’t save his first daughter or his second’s universe because it was falling apart. He couldn’t save anyone because he hadn’t realised his mistake in interfering in canon events, and he lost you because he couldn’t stop his vitriol, his violent temperament that had pushed you away. He always took things for granted until they were lost to him. 

Was it two or three weeks before he decided to check up on you? He didn’t know anymore, the weeks blurred until he finally amassed the courage to go against everyone’s words. Through the flat hologram of his orange screen, he watched you lament on your own, body curled into itself and shoulders shaking. Your sobs were heart-wrenching to watch while he had no means of contacting you; you would’ve reacted more strongly and aggressively if he’d contacted you after leaving. 

So he watched.

You stared vacantly from your window and left only for the bare necessities or to act as Spider-Woman. Crime never slept so you couldn’t stop even in your time of need. You swung from building to building so gracefully that Miguel was hypnotised by your grace. He watched these moments as a reminder of the missions he took by your side, webbing and catching anomalies all across the multiverse with fearsome speed and accuracy. You both had made a fearsome team, but that time was over, it was a memory long forgotten. 

So he watched.

Your flat was cold and empty, the space filled with spectres of memories, the cool rooms vacant of life that used to fill them with warmth and happiness. It was saddening from his perspective - the observer, the watcher and the reader of your story - of your time spent alone. He wanted to tell you that you weren’t alone, that he was watching you from afar, a silent protector that would only act if you were in imminent danger - as long as it wasn’t part of the canon. 

So he watched-

Besides you was Miguel - not him, another one - and he looked much too comfortable by your side for his liking. His variant seemed much too close for a friend, moving from sitting before you to beside you, arm slung over your shoulders and leaning back and, sometimes, towards you at a breath’s distance. He turned green with envy, a vicious monster brewing inside his body with the threat of bursting out, clawing at his chest. The other was too close to you for his liking. 

He watched as his variant bought you drinks - always, however long and loud you’d complained and fought, he never let you pay in the end - and paid for your dates. He abhorred it. How happy you looked with the other him. How calm and satisfied your smile was. How close his variant was to you. He wished he was at the other’s place, taking his rightful place beside you. He would kiss you, smother you in love and give you whatever you wanted, whether it be a hug, a kiss or his time, he would’ve given them to you. He wouldn’t dance around the edge of your affection and his love like he was doing, like a man unsure of his feelings and anxious to act on it. 

He thought the other Miguel was a coward - though he knew he wasn’t. He wanted to blame his variant and find fault for anything he did, but they were still the same person. He was Miguel O’Hara as much as he was. He wanted, but couldn’t, especially after seeing how both loved you the same, having a similar type. They were so much alike that he could’ve replaced his variant, yet so vastly different in other manners that he would’ve stood out. His history, his trauma, his curse, the other had none of them. He was normal while he was Spider-Man, a stronger, more brutal version of Spider-Man. 

Granted, he loved you with every fibre of his being, but he had never showered you with as much love and affection as the other, having his character muddled through long hours of work and long-lasting tragedy. You were another of his tragedies, where he found love again and lost it by his own making. He would have left too if the Society didn’t depend on him, leaning towards him for support and help in protecting the multiverse. It was something he couldn’t sacrifice for his whims.

So he kept watching and let his heart crack and envy fester.

He watched you grow even closer to him, shoulders and hands occasionally touching, making you jump and blush. He watched you move from simple coffee dates to full-blown restaurants and bar dates, drinking and eating at your leisure - something he could’ve never provided you. He watched you wobble around when you were drunk, your arm over his shoulder and his around your waist, supporting your drunk weight. He watched you kiss, the other pressing your bodies together and you reciprocating the loving embrace you had once given to him. 

He felt like crying. He was crying, silent tears rolling down his sharp cheeks in slow, thundering waves of his heartbreak. He clung to the desk, claws unintentionally popping out and bending the metal under his fist. The sound ripped through the silent room like the image that ripped through his heart. He was alone in his grief, shoulders slumping and arms shaking with the intensity of his emotions. He had locked the door, barricading it with a busy, do not disturb sign, warning the others that he was occupied and wouldn’t be reached unless there was an emergency. 

“Miguel…”

He’d forgotten Lyla was here - she was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, with your help he had given Lyla an upgrade in her system that gave her access to every Spider that had the watch. She had access to every file in the database and his secrets. Lyla was loyal to him as much as she was to you, respecting your words with a promise of her own to leave you alone. That, however, didn’t mean that she wasn’t privy to his pains, watching him while his eyes were stuck to your universe’s screen, giving him some comforting words that were meant to lift his spirit. It never worked but the intention was there. 

He couldn’t look at her, still facing the hologram of you kissing. He felt the surge of too many emotions to be able to think clearly, his self-control tethering on a thin line of fragile web. If he turned, he would explode on Lyla, giving her the brunt of his suffering even though she didn’t deserve it, she felt and laughed as much as any other human. He remembered programming in emotion with you, laughing about how much she would be as teasing and annoying as you. Lyla was another gift to him by you, so it would hurt him more. 

“Miguel-”

“Don’t- Do not say another word.”

For a man in tears and pain, his voice was curt and stoic, playing the leading figure he’d taken for so long. It betrayed his shaky figure, fingers crushing the metal loudly and shoulders jerking with ever-wrenching choked sob. His world was crumbling around him, rippling and cracking from the seams and folding into itself. The control of his state was failing miserably as he kept staring at your mirthful smile after the kiss. It tore him apart knowing he pushed you further away and into the arms of another. It hurt him deeply. 

Through everything, he heard Lyla whisper a small sorry before she popped out of existence, her small holographic body vanishing along with her orange light. Gone was her familiar light, gone was the nostalgic memory of programming her, and along her, was the support of another person. He was truly alone in this moment, to fall on his knees and let himself drown under the weight of everything. 

If your love was a tangible thing, he would’ve cradled it between his warm palms, holding it tightly to his chest to feel the soothing effects you had on him. Like a balm to burns, you cooled the searing pains that the world inflicted upon him, the warm blanket that covered him when he needed rest and the pillar that held him when he fell. He’d lost something he couldn’t gain a second time, clutching his head in his misery, drowning and howling.

It felt surreal until it wasn’t until it all sunk in. He truly couldn’t grasp the utter loss and betrayal he felt. The realisation that he truly lost you to none other than himself. The irony of it all slashed deeper, how he drove you closer to another him by his own doing, making you love a Miguel with more gentleness, more kindness and time than him, Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man from Nueva York, Earth-928. Everything he had was lost in time, his spiralling thoughts of loss and misery clouded his vision, bringing tears forward in bigger waves. 

Was he doomed to lose everything he cared about? Was he bound to love and lose? Why couldn’t he have a happy ending like everyone else? Was it because he was different? Perhaps it was, there were other O’Hara Spider-Man, but none were mutated like him, a product of self-infliction and sabotage - none had their DNA spliced and mixed with a spider’s. He was simply too different from the others, they were lean but still had a strong musculature, muscles tightened to create more strength and defence; none were big and broad as he was, with rough edges and mean streaks. They were nice and happy, faced losses of their own, but always came out on top (there were some minor - sometimes major - variants of Spider-Man here and there, but they all had some similarities in their stories of becoming.). He saw the devastation and grasped onto the thinnest silver lining he could find, holding onto it to stay afloat while others thrived where they were. 

Maybe it was truly because of him. He was realistic - near cynic -  he couldn’t see things optimistically, life had made him that way. The silver lining he saw in things was small, nearly extinguished by his near-pessimistic way of life. Did that have an impact as well? It most likely did, at least partly. Fate had given him a bad hand in things, he couldn’t be completely blamed for how things turned - or so he thought, hoped. A man wasn’t only the result of what he’d done, but also of what he was given. When push comes to shove, Miguel acted in a way he thought meant well for him and the others even if it didn’t seem like the right decision at first. He rarely doubted his actions while he did them, only after, could he let himself face the consequences of what he’d done. Miguel simply didn’t have the pleasure of waiting. He needed to act when it was called.

If he had waited, if he had been patient and sought out others for support, if he had spent time thinking before acting, would he still have his little girl beside him? Would he still have you in his arms? If he had shown you more affection, would you have still loved him?

Did you still love him?

Miguel didn’t know what he was doing. Standing before your apartment door in civilian clothing and a bouquet of twelve, beautiful white tulips - the meaning not lost to him. It was an attempt at apologizing for his mistakes, a desperate one led by heartache. He brushed his hair back, trying to look as kept as he could in his situation: dark bags and sickly skin, tense muscles and sore back. This was a daring move from him, it would end up catastrophic if the Miguel from your universe saw him at your front door; but he checked, making sure his variant was elsewhere before opening a portal to your place. 

He hadn’t moved in a while, listening to you move around your flat, the sound of your soft steps shuffling from behind the door, a wall between you and him, reminding him that he wouldn’t be able to cross it unless you welcomed him. He held the bouquet in one hand and knocked with the other, his knuckles hitting the wood softly and hesitantly. There was a pause between every knock, drawn by his nerves and the anxiety that gripped him. 

You moved and closed in on the sound at the door. He saw your shadow dance under the small gap on the floor and pause. You knew. You knew it was him even without peeking through the peephole, your spider-sense aiding you in recognizing the unknown. Although your hand rested reluctantly at the knob - perhaps still too raw from your break as he was - you opened the door for him, figure small and apprehensive. 

“Miguel,” you muttered his name, greeting him with a slow nod. You stepped back and opened the door wider for him, he took it as a good sign that you let him in rather than shut the door in his face.

He nodded back, saying your name. He took a step forward, foot breaking the barrier to your flat. The second one ensured he was fully invited, both feet strongly rooted on your side of the door. He wanted to make himself smaller, to appease you, but he knew you wouldn’t have liked that. He squirmed under your stare, a mix of curiosity and concern. 

He nearly sighed audibly when you gestured at him to sit and he moved to the sofa he remembered sleeping on with you, cuddling under a warm blanket while you watched a movie. He knew your home by heart like you knew his, the memory washed over him with melancholy. You sat on the armchair to his left, your back to the kitchen. He swallowed thickly and handed you the bouquet, freshly cut tulips glistening with pearly drops under your lights. 

Your shoulders shook as you leaned in to take the bouquet, jolting back when your fingers grazed him. Feeling your skin felt invigorating, it breathed back life into him, even slightly. You thanked him with a slow nod, seemingly unsure of what to make of it. Was it a gift? Was it an apology? Was it a farewell sign? He figured your mind was running in circles trying to understand the meaning of the pretty bouquet he handed you. You were always an overthinker, but your mind worked brutally well. That’s something he always appreciated about you. 

“I-” Miguel started, seemingly stopped by something that he couldn’t get out of his throat. Maybe a ball of dread or needles of anxiety, but it held him from giving you the words he spent nights thinking over, to give you the message he built from the deepest crevice of his heart. “I’m sorry, (Name).”

You stared at him, understanding that he needed a moment of silence to truly convey his feelings. You hadn’t uttered a word since he first started, expression neutral, not betraying whatever brewing storm you locked inside of you. He was grateful, truly. 

“I know- I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I’m really, really sorry, mi vida.”

He sensed you tense, the muscles of your back contracting and rippling under your shirt. Every unseen fibre moving was bare to him, he could see and feel better than most, if not, everyone else. 

“I acted out of anger and lack of sleep, but that doesn’t mean you deserved that- never. I just, my mutation makes me more animalistic, more… aggressive than the other, and I hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of that and I can’t always blame it on my mutations. I should’ve been able to control myself. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you in those ways.”

He lowered his gaze to his hands, the calloused pads of his fingers rubbing his palm, trying to coax himself into relaxation. Although your breathing softened, a calm breeze in an atmosphere thick with tension, he didn’t dare look up and see the face you were making. 

“I was a bad boyfriend and a horrible friend. I’m- I’m not asking you to forgive me, I don’t want you to forgive me, but- I just needed to tell you how much I regret hurting you. I want to apologise, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know how to fix this.” He breathed deeply, collecting every ounce of confidence and honesty to brave your reaction. “I’m sorry, mi cielo.” 

He shuddered, body rippling with his pained breath. He hadn’t realised how painful it would be to face you with his fears and confession, with the threat of abandonment and rejection fresh in his mind. He was a man of pride and strength, rarely facing anything with trepidation and hesitance. 

“I’m really sorry, mi cielo. I’m so, so sorry.”

He sat in silence, letting it hang over him like the blade of a guillotine, silent and brunt. Perceiving the flash of the sharp blade before it fell on his neck, sentencing him to a quick downfall with a long, lasting agony that would sting his neck as long as it would hurt his heart. The French used it for executions, the thing that spelled people’s end. At its height, it was used as an apparatus to behead traitors or people who were deemed dangerous to the people of the new republic. Down the blame went and off the head popped, like it would happen to Miguel if he wasn’t prepared for it. He truly didn’t know whether he had prepared for his rejection, for the death of his heart, to watch the flickering sparks of his flame wither out.

“I’m sorry too, Miguel-”

The rope strained, knots twisting and rippling in the tightness of the pull. It shook, whipping in the air as it straightened completely, held closely by the hand of the executioner. The wind blew but it was sturdy, withstanding the violent gales that slammed against the body of it.

“-it means a lot that you came here to apologise- ”

The crowd was filled with silence, the emptiness of the area a mock of a ghost town. Abandoned to be sentenced to death without anyone to witness. They deemed him not fit for their acknowledgment before his death, before the sparks of his life extinguished. His fate wasn’t worth their time, unlike the poorest criminals who stole for money, unlike the richest pigs who fed from the poor with their silver spoons and golden crowns, unlike the cruellest killers who gutted and left men, women and children to bleed out, and unlike the guiltless innocents cursed for something they hadn’t committed. 

“-but, I can’t.”

The rope was let loose, its tail flying and whipping in the air as the blade descended with its weight. The wood chafed against its support beams, yet it flew gracefully and rapidly, singing the doom of its prisoner. The blade gleamed under the moon’s bright light, the silver whispers of peace and sleep deaf to his ears.

“I can’t love you anymore.”

It cracked down on him, his life flashing before him as it cut into him. Severing his control over his body, putting out the dying embers of hope. He clung to desperation in his last moments, wishing to relive the moments of happiness, bright oblivion and cherished love. 

He wished that he could’ve seen your shadowed figure hidden in the darkness, tears lining your cheeks as you watched him take his last breath. The only person who came to see him leave, the one who he would’ve burned the world for. In the end, after everything he’d done, you still gave him a small moment of your time to witness his fall, you deemed him worthy of such an act. You offered him your kindness. 

My extensive tag list of extremely patient people pt1.:

@iseizeyourmom @raynerainyday @etherealton @sciencethot @coffee-obsessed-freak @thesecretwriter @beepboopcowboy@bontensh0e @aikoiya @allysunny @fandoms-run-my-life @brittney69 @aranachan @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @konniebon @starlightaura @redwolfxx @aniya7 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @bvbdudette @wwwelilovesyou @wwwellacom @akiras-key @bobafettbutifhewasgay @opiplover @rinieloliver @uniquecroissant @yas-v @xrusitax @blkmystery @darherwings @ariparri @notivie @vr00m-vr00m @battinsonwhore05 @irishbl0ss0mz @mivanda @saint-chlorine @livelaughluvmen @battinsonwhore05 @notivie @lililouvre @giasjourneyblog @ykyouluvme @skullywullypully

[sleepinghypnos]

Female Idol/s x Named Character

(You can insert yourself as the Protag…)

Tags: Smut

Genre: Threesome (Kinda?), Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Female Idol x Named Character (Reader), Cum swallowing, Facial.

Red Velvet Joy & Wendy x Han Jin-woo (Protagonist.)

3rd Person’s POV

Han Jin-woo is a mixed, his mother was pure Korean while his father is Italian-American, His parents decided to live in Korea. He was just 12 years old when his whole world came crashing down. His parents, who were his only family, died in a tragic car accident. Suddenly, he found himself alone and without anyone to turn to.

As an orphan, Han Jin-woo was living with their family’s butler in his house. The butler gave Han Jin-woo knowledge he has to know about his parent’s inheritance. Despite the difficult circumstances, he refused to let his past define him. He was determined to become successful and create a better life for himself.

At the age of 18, Jin-woo received a large inheritance from his parents' estate. Most people would have squandered the money on material possessions and luxuries, but Jin-woo had bigger plans. He used the money to start his own business.

With his sharp business acumen and natural leadership skills, Jin-woo's company quickly became one of the most successful in South Korea. By the age of 26, he was the CEO of a powerful company.

Due to his interest in the Entertainment Industry. He had a vision to merge two of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea, JYP and SM, under one umbrella company. Many thought it was an impossible task, but Jin-woo was determined to make it happen. JYP and SM Entertainment are both facing a huge crisis due to staff negligence, improper management, and backlashes about the songs they produce for their idols. This is the key for Han Jin-woo to devour the entertainment giants.

Through months of intense negotiations and strategic planning, Jin-woo managed to bring JYP and SM together under one company called Deicide Entertainment. The newly formed company became an overnight success, dominating the entertainment industry with its wide range of talents and production capabilities. Jin-woo's name became synonymous with success and his company became a force to be reckoned with.

Not only did Han Jin-woo successfully merge the two companies, but he also revitalized the dying image of idols in JYP and SM, then turn Deicide Entertainment into a multi-faceted media conglomerate that now produces music, dramas, films, and manages some of the biggest names in the industry.

Apart from his business acumen, Han Jin-woo's towering height, chiseled features, and fit physique have also made him a heartthrob in the entertainment industry. His striking looks coupled with his success have made him a desirable figure, and it is no secret that he has had his fair share of romantic encounters. In a society where the personal lives of public figures are heavily scrutinized, Han Jin-woo's sexual activities have sparked controversy and gained him a reputation among his colleagues. However, he remains unapologetic and believes that his personal life has no bearing on his professional capabilities.

2nd Person’s POV (Named Character)

You step into the dimly lit dance practice room, the scent of sweat and determination filling your senses. As the CEO of Deicide Entertainment, you had often visited this place to check in on your artists and make sure everything was running smoothly. Today, you were specifically here to see Red Velvet and their upcoming comeback.

At 28 years old, you had already achieved great success in the entertainment industry. Your company was known for its innovative ideas and with the merging of JYP and SM Entertainment had taken the industry by storm. You were a force to be reckoned with, both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

As you enter the room, you spot the girls of Red Velvet practicing their choreography. They were your top girls, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride and excitement at the sight of them. But your focus quickly shifted to two members in particular, Son Seung-wan, or as the world knows her as Wendy and Park Sooyoung also known as Joy.

Wendy was known for her powerful vocals and graceful dancing, but in that moment, all you could see was her glistening with sweat as she moved to the music. Joy on the other hand has seductive voice and charismatic aura. They stopped dancing and took a break. And as if sensing your gaze on them, they greeted you together with the other members.

You couldn't resist any longer, your desire for her taking over. You walk towards to the two people that caught your attention, ignoring the startled looks of the other members.

“Follow me, both of you.” You said and greeted the other members of Red Velvet, the two girls followed you to your office.

“Lock the door.” You calmly said and Joy immediately locked it, you wrap your hands on Wendy.

Wendy doesn't resist, her hands instinctively finding their way to your neck, pulling you down for a passionate kiss. The smell of her sweat and the sound of her breathless moans only fueling your desire. You press her up against the glass window wall in your office, your hands roaming over her body hungrily.

With a smirk, you lean down and whisper in Wendy's ear, “Why don't you suck my cock, Wendy?”

Without any hesitation, Wendy kneels down in front of you, unzipping your pants and pulling out your throbbing shaft. Her eyes widen at the sight of it, “the rumors about you really is true.” Wendy said and she bites her lip in excitement. She wraps her soft lips around your girthy 12 inch cock, sucking and licking it with expert skill.

You groan in pleasure as Wendy's hot mouth engulfs you, her tongue swirling around your head while Joy watches from behind her. When Wendy pulls back for air, Joy takes her place, eagerly taking your cock in her mouth and deep-throating it. They take turns pleasing you, choking and gagging on your massive cock as they moan in ecstasy.

As you reach your peak, Wendy and Joy playfully fight over who gets to swallow your load. In the end, they both get a taste, as you have obscene amount of load, their faces are half-covered and mouths are full, you can't help but chuckle at their competitive nature. As they clean you up.

“Joy, lie on the couch and spread your legs.” And before she knew it, she was lying on the couch with her legs spread, while you knelt in front of her. Joy felt her face flush with embarrassment, but also a sense of excitement.

You wasted no time, as you eagerly began to perform oral pleasure on Joy. Joy couldn't help but let out a loud moan as your skilled tongue worked its magic on her. She had never experienced anything like this before, and it was driving her wild.

As Joy moaned and writhed on the couch, Wendy could only watch in arousal. She wanted to join but she couldn't deny the intense desire that was building up inside her as she watch her group member enjoys herself.

After a few minutes, you pulled away from Joy, leaving her gasping for air, she reached her peak and now quivering. You set your eyes on Wendy, she aroused and horny, since you are generous, she also get the oral pleasure she deserves. Now both of the idols were wasted just by your tongue alone.

But before Joy could even catch her breath for a little longer, you positioned Joy in all fours, she wasn’t ready to take you inside of her. Being considerate, you slowly entered her, and Joy couldn't help but cry out in ecstasy. Wendy's eyes widened in shock as she watched how your cock entered Joy’s pussy.

Your thrusts became faster and more intense, and Joy couldn't contain her pleasure any longer. She was moaning loudly, screaming your name as she reached her peak. “Yes! F-fuck! Fill me, please fill me up! Breed me until I’m bloated.” You followed soon after, both of you collapsing onto the couch in a state of pure bliss. Filling Joy’s womb with your virile seeds.

Wendy is waiting for her turn patiently, you can’t let a woman wait and you lead her to the carpeted floor and she willingly lies down. You look at her, admiring how perfect she looks. You start to undress your top.

As soon as your bodies connect, you feel a shockwave of pleasure course through your entire body. You start to penetrate her slowly, taking your time to make her adjust to your size. Wendy's moans fill the room, and you can't get enough of her. You increase your pace, and she starts to become a wreck under your touch. She loses control, and all that is left is sheer ecstasy.

You are thrusting in and out, letting her feel your weight and muscular physique against her petite body.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the air, along with Wendy's moans and gasps. You can feel her reaching her peak, and with one last powerful thrust, she squirts, making you both gasp in surprise.

“I didn't know you could squirt,” you say, while caressing her face.

“I didn't think I could do it either,” she replies, panting. “I'm filling you up just like what I did to Joy,” you say, referring to one of Red Velvet's other member lying on the couch just happily watching.

Wendy nods, surrendering to the pleasure you are giving her. You continue to pound into her, pushing her to the edge over and over again. As you feel your own release approaching, you thrust deeper and came inside of her filling her to the brim. You pull out and watch as your cum flows out of her.

Joy eagerly uses her mouth to catch it all, making you groan in satisfaction, she shared the cum she collected to Wendy by kissing one another.

“Relay my message to Irene after you met with your co-members later.” You said to the girls still kissing. But they nodded because they already knew what the massage was. It’s Irene’s turn…

A/N: I don't know what to write so here, sorry for ghosting those who wants the continuation of the Bodyguard Series.

[inkmonster21]

Can you please with a cherry on top write. (Au where Cornelia died after blue eyes birth) Where Caesar is thinking of having reader as his mate but Koba keeps saying she will hurt the colony and baby blue eyes so when blue eyes normally goes to reader during the day Caesar takes him to another female ape and reader is confused and hurt but doesn't say anything until blue eyes sneaks away to be with reader and then Caesar realises reader is perfect mother and mate material. Thank you. :)))))))

And I just don't Koba. 😒

Okay… this is my VERY FIRST time writing for Caesar. I think I like it… I hope you do!

~

Motherly Instincts

Caesar's grief was palpable as he mourned the loss of Cornelia, his mate, and the mother of his child. The pain of her passing was a heavy burden on his heart, and he struggled to come to terms with the void she had left behind. Though Blue Eyes brought joy to his life, the absence of his mate left a deep sense of sorrow and emptiness within him.

Your journey started soon after, with Maurice finding you abandoned and in dire straits, your life hanging in the balance. You were emaciated and weak, struggling to survive on your own. Maurice, filled with compassion and care, stepped in to rescue you, bringing you into their family and providing the love and nurturing you desperately needed.

Blue Eyes, took an immediate liking to you. With small, delicate hands, the infant would reach out, seemingly drawn to you. Your presence would bring a ray of light into the weary days, your smile able to brighten the darkest of moods. Your connection with Blue Eyes was instantaneous and deep, a bond that would only grow stronger as time passed.

One particular morning, Caesar sensed a subtle but profound shift in his heart. He stood watching Blue Eyes with you, witnessing the bond between you and his child. There was a tenderness in your interactions, an affinity that stirred within him. As he observed the two of you together, he felt a protective instinct flare up deep inside him, recognizing that your connection with Blue Eyes went beyond mere friendship.

Caesar observed you interacting with his son from his spot next to Maurice. He couldn't help but notice a small smile forming on his face as he watched the gentle way you handled Blue Eyes.

Maurice, perceptive as ever, noticed Caesar's expression and signed to his friend, "Human treats Blue Eyes well…. be good mother… and mate." There was a hint of playful teasing in his sign.

Caesar's response was nonchalant, signaling that he wasn't opposed to the idea at all. He had grown fond of you, engaging in personal conversations and even sharing meals together. The bond between the two of you had grown beyond mere acquaintance, and there was a sense of comfort and familiarity in your interactions. Caesar recognized the potential the idea held, a thought he couldn't dismiss.

Koba, on the other hand, had a completely different perspective on the matter. His attitude towards you was one of caution and wariness. He seemed to view you as an outsider, someone who didn't quite fit into their world. His distrust was evident in the way he observed your interactions with Blue Eyes and Caesar, a constant skepticism lurking behind his gaze.

Koba points down at you, a look of disdain in his eyes. He motions to you with a sense of accusation, his signs conveying his distrust. "Human...ruin...home..." he signs. The message is clear - Koba believes you are a threat, someone who will destroy their way of life. He warns of your potential to tear their home apart.

As Caesar continues to watch you, his heart is torn between two conflicting desires - the safety and stability of the colony, and his own happiness, a rare sentiment for him to consider. The decision he needed to make weighed heavily on his mind, as he grappled with the opposing forces pulling him in different directions.

You can't help but let out a laugh as Blue Eyes cling to you, refusing to let go. You try gently to peel his small hands away, attempting to tuck him into his nest for the night.

"You have to go to sleep," you tell him, a mix of sternness and affection in your voice. Blue Eyes, however, is stubborn, holding on to you with a strong grip, unwilling to give in to your attempts to make him rest.

Caesar enters his home quietly, catching you amid your struggle with Blue Eyes. A soft smile graces his lips as he observes the scene before him, and he speaks softly. "He likes you," he muses, his voice filled with gentle warmth. The sight of you trying to put the stubborn Blue Eyes to sleep seems to bring a touch of amusement to Caesar.

As soon as Blue Eyes notices Caesar, the youngster eagerly dashes towards his father, enveloping him in a loving embrace. You watch the heartwarming moment with a flutter in your heart, appreciating the undeniable bond between father and son. Caesar reciprocates the embrace, his strong yet gentle arms wrapping around Blue Eyes. It's evident in this interaction that Caesar is not only a great leader but also an incredible father, effortlessly balancing his responsibilities with affection and love towards his child.

Caesar hums softly as he picks up Blue Eyes, settling the young ape onto his hip. He turns his gaze towards you, his eyes filled with both tenderness and a hint of concern. “He gives you… trouble today?” he asks, referring to Blue Eyes’ stubborn refusal to go to sleep.

You shrug and let out a small laugh, explaining the situation. "He just doesn't want to go to sleep," you say. As you ruffle the soft fur on Blue Eyes' head, you add, "He's just being stubborn." Caesar nods, a mixture of affection and understanding in his eyes. He knows his son's stubborn nature all too well.

Blue Eyes, perched on Caesar's lap, glances at you and extends a small hand, signing a "stay." His request is simple and endearing as if he doesn't want you to leave.

Your heart swells as Blue Eyes looks at you, signing his small hands to ask you to stay, but you know you have to go back to your own sleeping space. "I have to go to my own nest, Blue," you tell him gently, a hint of regret in your voice.

Caesar's words come out swiftly, his mouth moving quickly before his mind catches up. His eyes widen slightly as he realizes what he's just said, a sense of surprise and mild embarrassment evident in his expression. "You could... stay," he repeats, his voice laced with a mixture of uncertainty and unexpected invitation.

Silence hangs in the air as Caesar's words linger. It's a moment of realization for both you and Caesar, as the weight of the unexpected invitation settles in. The usually composed ape king seems momentarily caught off guard by his suggestion, his gaze locked on you, awaiting your response.

As Caesar's words hang in the air, your eyes widen in surprise. You grapple with the question of his intentions - did he truly want you to stay, or was he simply trying to appease his son? It's difficult to hide the fact that your own feelings for Caesar have begun to bloom, a secret that's becoming harder to keep hidden. The tension between you and Caesar is palpable, waiting for your response to his unexpected invitation.

Silence once again blankets the space between you and Caesar, the air thick with anticipation. The usually composed ape king keeps his gaze fixed on you, his eyes searching your face for any hint of how you are feeling about his proposal. He appears to be silently pleading, hoping you'll accept his invitation.

“If you want.” Caesar's eyes flicker with a mix of relief and anticipation at your response. The tension in his shoulders eases slightly, a sense of hope and a hint of vulnerability in his expression. It's clear that Caesar is silently yearning for you to stay, his desire evident in the way he watches you.

Blue Eyes, seemingly sensing your decision, crawls into your lap and snuggles against you, seeking the comfort of your embrace. The young ape's gesture is sweet and poignant as if expressing his approval of your decision to stay. Caesar watches the interaction, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips.

You glance down at Blue Eyes, who is now comfortably snuggled in your lap. A smile graces your lips as you gently speak to him, asking, "Now you ready?" The young ape responds with a soft, satisfied murmur, appearing more relaxed and sleepy now that you've agreed to stay.

You move to the back, cradling Blue Eyes gently in your arms. You hold him close, snuggling with him until he finally drifts off to sleep, his little body relaxing and his hold on you loosening. The sight is heartwarming, as Blue Eyes finds comfort and security in your presence, his sleepy form at peace in his nest.

You press a gentle kiss to Blue Eyes' forehead, a tender gesture of affection. As you slowly move to exit the nest, a sense of satisfaction fills your chest. The sight of the young ape sleeping peacefully brings a smile to your face, a sense of accomplishment in having helped soothe him to sleep.

As you step back into the firelight, your mind is abuzz with thoughts, contemplating the significance of your decision to stay. Caesar remains seated by the fire, waiting for your arrival with a mixture of anticipation and curiosity. The air between you seems to crackle with tension, the weight of the moment palpable.

The moment is interrupted by the sudden appearance of Koba, his ominous shadow casting a presence in the doorway. He stands there, silhouetted in the darkness, his figure a stark contrast against the flickering firelight. His presence is unexpected, adding an extra layer of tension to the already charged atmosphere.

Koba's gaze settles on you, his eyes filled with a cold suspicion that has lingered since the very beginning. The sight of you in Caesar's personal space, in his nest, seems to heighten his distrust. It's clear from the way he looks at you that Koba is more convinced than ever that you are a threat, a danger to their community.

You can't help but feel small and vulnerable under the intense glare of Koba's gaze. His suspicions and wariness towards you are palpable, and it's clear that his presence at this moment is not a simple coincidence. His eyes follow your every movement as if silently judging your every action.

Caesar, aware of the tension in the air, rises to his feet, addressing Koba directly. "What is it… Koba?" he asks, his voice calm yet firm. Caesar's stance is one of composure, but there's an edge to his words, a subtle warning to the other ape.

The moment hangs in the air, a triangle of tension forming between you, Koba, and Caesar. The ape king waits for Koba's response, his gaze fixated on the other ape's face, his body language displaying a mixture of authority and caution.

Sensing the mounting tension, you take the initiative to stand, intending to leave the situation. "Um, Caesar," you say, your voice somewhat shaky. "I will just see you tomorrow." You make a move to exit, but before you go, you turn to Caesar and bid him a soft, "Goodnight." The atmosphere is thick with an uneasy energy as you navigate past the two apes, attempting to distance yourself from the intense exchange.

As you leave, Koba's gaze follows you, his eyes filled with a mixture of hostility and disdain. The sight of you descending back to your home, your status lower than his, seems to only fuel his suspicions and dislike towards you.

Koba, his voice dripping with venomous suspicion, questions Caesar, "Why…human here? In...Caesar...home?" His words are laced with distrust, suggesting that he can't fathom why you're in Caesar's personal space. Kobo doesn't trust your presence in the ape king's home.

Caesar's response is firm and straightforward, yet tinged with a hint of protectiveness. "Blue Eyes wanted her... here," he repeats. Despite the simplicity of the answer, there's no denying the protective tone in his voice. Caesar's decision to allow you to stay is rooted in his son's comfort and desire for your presence.

Koba's scoff carries a hint of ridicule as if the idea of Blue Eyes being the sole reason for your presence seems unlikely to him. He poses a question. "Blue Eyes... or Caesar?" The implication is clear - Koba suspects that Caesar's desires, rather than just his son's need, are at play in your presence.

Caesar averts his gaze from his friend, Koba. Despite the challenges Koba presents, his loyalty and contributions to Caesar cannot be denied. The ape king seems caught between his trust in Koba and his feelings regarding your presence. The dilemma is evident in his expression.

Caesar's voice takes on a persuasive tone as he defends your presence, "She is helpful... with Blue Eyes. She cares... for us." There's a hint of determination in his words, a conviction that your presence has been beneficial for his son and the community as a whole. His argument suggests that your role in caring for Blue Eyes is a valid reason for your accommodation in his home.

Koba's scoff becomes louder and more pointed, his words taking on a harsher tone. "She will... kill. us all... all... humans do!" The ape's distrust and skepticism towards your kind are evident in his statement. He strongly believes that humans, like you, pose a threat that cannot be ignored. The weight of his fear and suspicion hangs heavily in the air.

Koba presses on, his tone growing more intense, "You wait... too long... and Blue Eyes... will be... gone... be... her fault." His statement takes on a sinister quality as if he sees your presence as a ticking time bomb for the safety and well-being of the younger apes. Koba's belief in your destructive nature is clear, and he seems convinced that you pose a significant risk to the ape community.

Koba's words hit a nerve in Caesar, igniting a spark of fear within him. The king of the apes, although hopeful for humanity, has had more negative experiences with humans than positive ones. The stark reality of this imbalance weighs heavily on Caesar's mind, and Koba's warning only serves to further deepen the ape king's doubts and reservations.

As Caesar ponders Koba's words, a wave of uncertainty washes over him. Perhaps Koba does have a point, and your presence could be detrimental to the colony or even to himself. Doubts begin to cloud Caesar's mind, casting a shadow over his previous conviction to keep you near.

Early in the morning, you approach Caesar's dwelling, making your presence known before entering. You knock gently on the threshold, your heart fluttering with a mix of anticipation and nervousness. The moment feels significant, as you prepare to enter Caesar's private space and be closer to the ape king.

You greet Caesar with a warm smile as you spot him basking in the sun while gazing out over his land. "Good morning," you say, your voice soft yet cheerful. The sight of Caesar in this moment, seemingly at peace amidst the beauty of nature, evokes a sense of calm and awe within you.

You notice Caesar's silent nod in response, but there are no words exchanged. You instinctively glance around for Blue Eyes, your eyes searching for the young ape's presence. However, his absence catches your attention, leaving you curious about his whereabouts.

You ask the question that lingers on your mind, "Where's Blue Eyes?" Your voice carries a hint of concern, as you wonder about the young ape’s whereabouts. Caesar continues to gaze out at the landscape before replying, his voice steady yet tinged with a hint of melancholy.

Caesar's response answers your question, "With Ginger… With other young." There's a tinge of melancholy in his voice, and he doesn't turn to face you. The mention of Blue Eyes spending time with the other young apes and Ginger stirs an unexpected pang in your heart.

“Oh, okay.” You approach Caesar, attempting to engage him in conversation or perhaps suggesting an outing, but Caesar's response is curt. "No... very busy," he says, shaking his head. The firmness in his tone and the lack of eye contact suggest that he's preoccupied and not particularly interested in conversation or spending time together at the moment.

Caesar moves past you without another word, his footsteps echoing with a sense of firmness. The sudden departure leaves you standing alone, baffled by his aloof behavior. You're left with a mixture of emotions - confusion, disappointment, and perhaps a hint of hurt at the abrupt end of your attempt at connecting with him.

As days pass, you notice that Blue Eyes is consistently sent with any female ape except for you. This repeated pattern doesn’t escape your notice, and a feeling of unease starts to take hold. It becomes clear that there’s a deliberate effort to keep you apart from Caesar's son, and the reason behind it remains a mystery. The thought that something might be wrong gnaws at you, and you can’t shake the sense that there's more to this situation than meets the eye.

You try to think of any possible reason for the sudden distance. Did you do something wrong? Were you disrespectful in some way? No matter how hard you wrack your brain, you can’t come up with an answer. The lack of explanations and the persistent sense of exclusion leave you feeling confused and frustrated.

Caesar walks by you once again, his eyes avoiding direct contact. There's a sense of detachment in his demeanor as if he can't bring himself to acknowledge your presence. The indifference in his gaze is palpable, leaving you feeling invisible in his world.

At dinner, Blue Eyes attempts to make his way towards you, Koba intervenes, quickly stopping the young ape. "Dangerous," Koba hisses, his finger pointing in your direction. Caesar observes the scene, seeing the confusion in his son's eyes and the clear desire to approach you. Blue Eyes' longing to find comfort in your presence is evident, and the situation tugs at Caesar's heartstrings.

As you discreetly excuse yourself from the gathering, Caesar's eyes follow your movements, noticing your early departure. He's aware of your absence, even if he doesn't express any reaction outwardly. Caesar watches as his son, Blue Eyes, follows your path, sneaking off in your direction. The young ape's determination to find you is evident and Caesar can't help but observe the connection between you two.

Caesar rises to his feet, his attention now fully on following after you and Blue Eyes. His instincts kick in as he realizes the need to keep an eye on the young ape and the dynamic between you two.

Caesar continues to watch as you both approach your humble dwelling, situated at the very bottom of the colony. The location is not lost on him, as the desolate and cold surroundings stand out starkly compared to the rest of the colony. The physical distance from him adds another layer to the complexity of the situation.

Caesar wants you closer to him, not just physically but emotionally as well. The realization of this desire adds an extra layer to Caesar's complex feelings towards you.

Blue Eyes, feeling the effects of being separated from you, clings to you desperately, hooting and crying in distress. It's clear that the little monkey is overwhelmed by the situation, and the physical separation from you has taken its toll. The young ape seeks comfort and reassurance in your presence.

You regard Blue Eyes with a soft smile, but sadness lurks within your heart. "You're not supposed to be here, Blue," you gently remind him, your voice filled with a mix of concern and warmth. It's clear that you understand the complexity of the situation, and the fact that the young ape shouldn't be at your dwelling alone adds an extra layer of worry to your expression.

A deep voice pierces the air as Caesar steps into your home, the dimly lit surroundings casting an air of mystery. He speaks with a hint of regret, his words carrying the weight of his realization. "seems... I have been foolish," Caesar admits, his voice filled with a mixture of introspection and remorse.

As you look up at Caesar, a mix of confusion and surprise shows on your face. The sudden appearance of the ape king in your home after the distant treatment of the past several days puzzles you. With Blue Eyes in your arms, you explain, "He came to me." There's a hint of defense in your words as if you feel the need to justify the situation.

Caesar responds with a soft smile, his demeanor slightly softening. His words carry a tone of understanding, "I know." There's a subtle admission in his acknowledgment, suggesting that he knew all along about his son's actions.

Caesar takes a step closer, his movements deliberate and somewhat intense. The distance between you both shrinks as he moves closer, his gaze fixed on you.

The air seems to thicken with tension as Caesar comes closer, his proximity sending a shiver down your spine. His presence is both authoritative and intriguing, and you can't help but feel a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. In the dimly lit space, the power dynamic between you and the ape king is palpable.

Caesar's voice breaks the silence as he regards the sight of Blue Eyes clinging to you. His words carry a hint of resignation and understanding. "He needs you," Caesar murmurs, his gaze fixed on the young ape's desperate hold on you. He's acknowledged the bond between you and his son, and the depth of Blue Eyes' attachment to you.

Caesar's expression falters, and it's clear that there's more he wants to say. His eyes remain fixed on you and the child, a mix of emotions playing across his features. There's a conflict within him, a struggle between his thoughts and his words.

Caesar's voice is soft and hesitant as he utters his words, "I... need you." The statement hangs in the air, filled with vulnerability and a hint of uncertainty. It's a confession that seems difficult for him to vocalize, suggesting that his dependence on you runs deeper than he anticipated.

Caesar's hand moves gently to cup your face, his palm warm against your skin. His gaze locks with yours, and the intensity of his eyes pierces through the dim lighting. There's a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, a hint of raw emotion that betrays the stoic ape king's usual demeanor.

Caesar moves closer, his head descending to meet yours. In the intimate space, your foreheads touch, and the connection between you two becomes electric. The touch is filled with a potent mix of passion and vulnerability as if he can no longer resist the pull between you two.

Caesar's voice is firm yet gentle as he speaks, his words carrying a sense of finality. "You will stay... with us... from now on," he says, his head still pressed against yours. There's a subtle possessiveness in his tone as if he's claiming you for himself and his son.

The realization of being a family with Caesar and Blue Eyes settles upon you, a powerful notion that fills your heart with a mixture of joy and responsibility. The idea of the three of you together as a unified unit strengthens the connection between you all, forging an unbreakable bond built on love and loyalty.

[cursedcola]

Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle (Here!), Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia(Pt.1)(Pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. I've been thinking about maybe programming a small fan-made mini-otome using these ideas. Just for some practice for school while also being self indulgent hehe

Azul Ashengrotto

Fortune. Azul is one fortunate soul. At least, not he thinks himself to be.

and to think that it's because of sheer luck. He did not work for you. He did not climb or claw or plan for you. He did nothing.

No, you chose him. You saw him at his lowest and decided that he was worth becoming friends with. You actively sought him out...just to spend time at his side. Regularly. You enjoyed Azul's company

and over time, he grew to enjoy yours. Immensely. Like a giddy school-girl, his heart fluttered at the thought of you and all his notebooks were covered in doodle hearts.

This was it for him. Azul is a one and done kind of man. It’s you or it’s no one. Which means that it obviously is going to be you because hello??? Azul is not a quitter.

During your younger years as students….he may have been a bit too ambitious. In other words, Azul has proposed many times

And in turn has been rejected. Many. Times.

It began passively. He’d mention here and there his future plans for after schooling. Try to talk himself up, yeah? He’s going to be a big business man, isn’t that just perfect husband material? He can take care of you easily so there’s no need to stress.

Naturally you pushed off these moments as daydreaming and casual joking. Nothing serious. So he ups his game. It just so happens that he mistakenly got a bridal magazine in the mail…oh, look at these dresses and suits! So fancy. So beautiful…oh, you would look absolutely darling in one.

….oh sweet merciful seven please take the HINT. He is LITERALLY throwing himself at you

He ups his game. Again. A romantic candle lit dinner for two. The works. Jazz music, slow dancing, good company, and the casual proposal y’know just your average date.

You have to be doing it on purpose

In your defense. He did not flat out say “will you marry me,” because he chickened out. Instead he asked if you’d like to live with him after graduation as…roommates.

The world is out to get this poor man. It is. It truly just wants him to crash and burn in embarrassment. The way you laughed and went “I think we’re a bit more than that, don’t you think?” HAUNTS him

He screamed into his pillow that night. For hours. Floyd still gives him shit for it

Life continues this way. For reasons unknown…he just couldn’t bring himself to be direct. Which is so unlike Azul considering he spent years toughening himself up.

Maybe deep down he did fear that things wouldn’t work out. A merman and a human…what if you did not want to lige in the sea? What if his body could not sustain human form for long term? Maybe he wanted you to take initiative and prove him wrong. Eventually he did give up.

At least until you both aged into the “roommates”he dreamed about. There were trials and compromise. He never thought to have two homes, one by the ocean and one literally inside of it. Life was perfect….just without the title. And on one random night, Azul thinks “One more time,”. No elaborate ruse. No trickery to get you to ask him. Just….

“Will you marry me?,” Azul whispered into your shoulder. You both lay together in your shared bedroom with nothing but the sound of crashing waves coming in from the outside. Your steady breathing halts, proving that you heard him. With a sigh, he reaches to massage your scalp, “I do not know if you have realized by now…no, I am sure of it. No one is that dense. I won’t pry for why you have ignored my past attempts…all I ask is that you answer this. Will you marry me, (Y/N)? Having you at my side has truly made me the most fortunate man alive,”

{ A black pearl over a gold band. One of the most ultimate displays of wealth. Azul is well aware that this is not the traditional pathway. He could have easily acquired a ‘genuine’ Pearl, perhaps a diamond - but no. You are a rarity. A true jewel. Only a ring worthy to reflect that is worth buying. You were the most unexpected thing and are now the most cherished. This ring represents that,}

Jade Leech

The want caught him by surprise one day, which is rare. Jade is never thrown off guard. At least, not easily.

Then again, you have always been the most difficult person for him to predict. Something he finds very charming since there is always an upbeat atmosphere wherever you go. If his days were a dimming flame, you would be just the right amount of Co2 to spark some fun - not that he would easily admit to it.

Albeit so, Jade is not blind to his emotions. He hides them well underneath a polite smile - but they are there. He is aware of them.

Which is why he snatched you up early on. A relationship was the last thing he thought to find on the surface (or in general, honestly), but Jade knows what he wants when he sees it.

He merely asks you on a date with confidence. You accept, and the process repeats until an unspoken bond formed between the two of you. Not a soul in the nearby vicinity would dare make a move on you with his lingering presence. Jade was pacified, entertained, and happily content with your circumstance.

A circumstance that Jade gets maybe a bit too comfortable with. Just like surprise, it takes a lot for Jade for feel secure. The only person he has truly felt that with is his brother. This lack of overbearing responsibility, where something is being unspoken. No ulterior motive or underlying tone in your actions that make him have to over-analyze.

In the beginning he thought of your bluntness as an extra entertainment factor. Something that he could count on to make those brief unpredictable situations amusing. Yet, as time passed he notices that it's comforting. When he's with you, Jade turns his brain off. Not entirely, of course. He still needs to throw in witty quips and fluster you at LEAST twice per day.

but it's different. It's a different comfort than what he feels with his sibling or with his friend. It's new, and strangely similar to how he feels when he forages while hiking. Perhaps finding peace in another person...maybe there is merit. Hah. Yet another surprise.

On an evening long past curfew, Jade was tending to his botany collection and miniature greenhouse. You sat on his bed, watching videos on your phone. It was almost like you weren't there with him, yet not since he felt your presence. However, there was no pressure to talk or be attentive. He found himself enjoying your presence alone, and it slipped.

"If this is how our days will be when we live together, then perhaps sharing one life is not as inconceivable as I once thought," he said amidst trimming one of his herb plants. Jade turns curiously when he hears a thump from behind, and sees you gawking at him. You had lost your grip on the cell phone, and it fell to the ground.

He eyes you suspiciously. What's startled you? He doubts that any video could render you speechless.

....he spoke aloud, yes? Not in his head. Now it's Jade's turn to lose his composure.

Another surprise, but this is his own doing. Jade has not had a slip of the tongue since his childhood. Even then it was rare. He's never experienced this kind of mess-up...yet, you don't appear appalled.

Jade places the clippers down, and coughs into his gloved hand, "well, it appears I have gotten a loose tongue. It must be from your influence, no doubt". He stands, and moves to sit next to you on his bed, "I've never spoken out of place before, you know. Do you know what this means? I've become weak...and perhaps it it is time you take responsibility for these newfound emotions. I fully intend for many moments like these to happen, and for you to not leave my side. When it is time to leave this place, I believe you will join me. No, I am certain of it"

{An eye of lapis. A reminder that he is always watching - waiting, to see you again. The gem is not see-through. It’s a tough stone. Yet it is beautiful and is appreciated nonetheless. Enough said}

Floyd leech

At first, you believed him to have an obsession. Many did, actually.

The judgement isn't uncalled for either. Floyd's emotions towards you are very strong. With the way he loves to tease and follow you around - he's got a deep attachment. He's always demanding your attention, pulling you from your duties, starting trouble, and nosy. Floyd is oh so nosy and into everything in your life.

You're a toy. His little Shrimpy. The plaything that he absolutely adores and loves to watch. You're the Friday night sitcom to his late-90s grandma.

That's how you see it because that's how he portrays it. With others in agreeance, it is easy to overlook the small undertones in his actions. Especially since he's a touchy and emotional person normally.

Somehow, Floyd had himself tricked as well. He didn't akin his emotions to obsession, but he did think that you were a toy that he would

eventually out-grow. At the start, it really was just a game for him. He liked your reactions and therefore decided to keep you around.

Yet, he never got bored. Eventually the fun events around you stopped being what he found interesting, and instead he liked you alone. Floyd being Floyd instantly tried to confess this, not wanting to waste another minute. Yet you never believed him.

He brushed it off. You'd come around. Not a day went by without him by your side. To the average onlooker (and you, to Floyd's dismay) this still appeared normal. Weeks past by like nothing.

Only the people closest to Floyd see the small giveaways. Like how he glares holes into the mirror portal every morning, or gets snappy with customers if you take too long to visit the Monstro Lounge at night. There's a booth saved, every evening with no student brave enough to go near it unless they want their head chopped off.

When he gives you a 'squeeze,' he never wraps his arms around your stomach. He instead smothers your head and goes tightly around the shoulders. Your squeezes are special. He loves them.

or the name 'Shrimpy'. How he says it to you in public, but in private he occasionally lets your real name slip out. This normally happens during moments when he feels "bored,"(i.e has nothing to talk about) or lighthearted (the rare moments when you get him to relax). Floyd has never said that name with anything other than a positive emotion, despite his mood swings. Shrimpy is his calling card for you, and only his. Yet your name is different. He feels a tummy-twisting kind of weird when he says it.

but the biggest change is Floyd's attitude towards danger when it comes to you. Before, he thrived on it. He liked to hear your stories and be part of the fun. He took joy from the scary adventures you got wrapped into; heck, he was one of them.

Now he gets morbid. Not like how he was before, with eerie threats and a suspenseful aura. He never actually acted unless told to do so, since the over-blots and delinquent students were your problem, not his.

One afternoon, you didn't show up to have lunch with him. That already made him irritable since you know better than to no-show. Did you want a squeeze? Huh, Shrimpy? He'll give you one later.

Then two students come in, all snickering and acting suspicious. Strike two. Now Floyd is upset AND annoyed. Others in the area can feel the animosity in the air.

"Did you see their face? Psh. That'll teach some snot-nosed no-mag to act all mighty. If they know what's good for them, they'll go back to whatever sh*t-hole they came from alrea-" The no-face couldn't finish his sentence. Not with one of the infamous Leech twins gripping his arm tight enough to snap bone.

Floyd smiled, "oh~ So you're the reason my little shrimp isn't eating lunch with me, aren't ya? So. What'd ya do? C'mon guys, I want to know what 'lesson' ya taught, " as Floyd spoke, his grip gradually tightened and he stared straight into the other student's eyes. Each word came out harsher than the last.

They broke quick, as he suspected. With a rough shove Floyd pushed them aside to find you. He had their faces memorized. Let them live in fear for a bit until he collects due payment. For now?

Floyd finds you at your home. He doesn't bother to knock and bursts through the front door, only to see you nursing a black eye on the couch with some ice. He wastes no time in taking it and kneeling in front of you.

Floyd holds the ice to your eye - a bit too harsh- and clenches his jaw when you wince. You won't meet his eyes and it only pisses him off more, "Oi. Look at me," and you do with your one eye. "Why didn't you call me. Why'd you not show up," You sigh and reach a hand to cover his, "because I knew you'd be pissed... I handled it, okay? No need to fake the whole 'I will protect you, my little Shrimpy' scenario. We both know that's not your thing, "

You're wrong. It's not a scenario. You can dismiss his flirting all you want, but even Floyd has a limit. Do you not see how absolutely wreaked overhearing those airheads made him? He's going to do worse than you can think. He won't kill them. No, he'll make sure that no one messes with you anymore. You can't see it, but on the inside he is over it. Done. Finished. Officially has 0% patience.

"Did you know that every time you spout crap like that, it pisses me off? I don't 'act,' because that's boring. I'm not lyin' when I say I like you, and you better start believin' it because I'm over the niceties. If someone messes with you, they mess with me. You're in deep (Y/N) and I'm not letting go, so wait here while I handle some little pests. I love ya. I act this way BECAUSE I love ya. Quit denying me already,"

No one will ever mess with you again. Not with the sparkly little gem on your ring finger, tying you to one of the largest and most threatening groups in the undersea world to date.

{ An aquamarine tear. In all honesty, Floyd did not put much thought into his gem. It sparkled. It is the color of his hair streak (or close to it). He imagined it on your finger and thought that it would stand out - ensuring that anyone and everyone could see it. He thought of your possible expression upon seeing it, and was sold}

[hamsternella]

Have you seen that anime about the elusive samurai?? Could you write something with a reader who is a hashira and acts like the protagonist? +yandere pillars and muzan/other demons🤭

[PART 1] Yandere!Hashiras (+Muzan and demons) x Elusive!Reader

cw: yandere themes, stalking, blood, gore, violence, forced relationship, mdni

SO SORRY but it doesn't allow me to put more images, so here is the link to the second part where the demons + muzan are included: HEREEEE

TIP JAR

Ubuyashiki could be a man capable of predicting the future, and thus save himself a great deal of trouble that would jeopardize the safety of his family or his company of Pillars. But all people have a breaking point—and you were, without a doubt, that point.

No one really knew when you became a Pilar. Not even Ubuyashiki himself was sure. This was because of your elusive and confusing nature; the way you seemed to totally detach yourself from everything and everyone, all the time. You were not a bad person at all. You were just... misunderstood, let's say.

You accomplished all your missions on time, and you were undoubtedly a defender of your people with all your heart and pride on the edge of your sword. You were also known as the 'Elusive Pillar', due to your obvious nature. If anything, the real reason you were still alive was because of your enormous ability to dodge and escape from dangerous situations instead of attacking.

If a demon recognized you, the others knew there was no way to beat you: you were going to make them desperate, and eventually their hunger would turn to frustration. People loved you unconditionally for that reason. It was even funny.

To Ubuyashiki and the other Pillars, the reason for your loyalty to the cause was unknown. Why on earth had you become part of the team? No, indeed, how did you even manage it?

You could go against the evil of the world, the injustices and the demons; but not for a murderous hatred, and much less for money, because clearly your salary was the lowest. Your interest was nil. During fights you preferred to work alone, because you enjoyed the chase and the weight of death on your heels.

And you always laughed. Always. God help us, because at this point you even looked like a crazy person.

Otherwise, you were almost never with Ubuyashiki and the Pillars. Who knows where you would be fulfilling missions; eating or sleeping at night. It was difficult to contact you because even your crow had had enough of you—a peck on your head and never came back. Trusting someone lonely and who seemed to play between life and death was too much even for the natural course of the universe, if even a crow didn't want you around.

But as much fun as the idea of continuing to play blindly with death was, duty eventually came to your door, materialized in the form of Ubuyashiki's crow. The animal announced the arrival of new subjects and a demon that promised scientific advances; and the truth is that it was impossible for you to contain your curiosity.

Your approach to the team not only led you to reconnect with the Pillars, and thus take back the place that belonged to you, but also to meet special demons that promised another kind of glimpse of what was your good friend. The most loyal, honest and eternal companion.

Death. Or maybe something more—something terrible.

Gyomei

The Stone Pillar considers you a necessary member, but condemns your childish attitude. He does not believe that your uprooting will bring positive things, both for you and for them; and he fears, of course, for your safety when you fail to report your condition after many months away from home. Gyomei thinks you could do with some training to forge some character in you, and asks Ubuyashiki to allow him to be your teacher.

Needless to say, the decision doesn't seem like a good idea to you. For the first few days you disappear again; and if you return at all, it's to steal some food from the kitchens and to play with Nezuko, who turned out to be a pleasant companion with whom you can enjoy a moment's peace. Gyomei catches you in the act, but holds back and says nothing. He secretly begins to discover facets that he thought were alien to you—and he begins to like that. His perception of you eventually changes.

Gyomei would gradually become a silent stalker. That would lead him to take advantage of the information he gets from you in your vulnerable moments, in order to connect with you when he can catch you in the middle of your escapades. He uses his wits to avoid being discovered; and although guilt weighs on his conscience, a strange pleasure settles in his heart.

With the delicacy of a petal against the lips, Gyomei rests his against your ear on the coldest nights; sighing sensitive words of encouragement, finding morbid satisfaction in how you melt and surrender yourself before him. When you decide to give him a chance, finding in him a sensitive soul who understands you incredibly, you end up undressing your soul, and you share with him part of your past. Why you are like this.

The story of your family being slaughtered brings the Stone Pillar down completely. You tell him how a distant relative betrayed your parents, selling them with no shame. You survived by the grace of the Gods; while your siblings ended their own lives, terrified that the same demon might return for them. Over the years you found it impossible to end your life as they did. There was something inside you—a flame. It wasn't courage or honor; neither was it a thirst for revenge. You simply wanted to live.

Gyomei understands that you and he are somewhat alike, and if that alone doesn't fuel his craze for you, the fact that you are so fragile definitely does. Fragile for him, at least. A voracious hunger begins to take hold of his being; the need to contain and possess you, to never let you escape again. The idea that you still want to savor the brush of death and enjoy the chase burns within his heart. Gyomei can't believe you're going to go on living like it's nothing; even after that night he confided his past to you too.

Gyomei would be a soft yandere. He doesn't use brute force to keep you in line. He prefers to mold you emotionally and psychologically. He would know how to follow you silently; he would use all the information he gets from this to get you, to make you need him, and maybe make you more docile and to never escape from there. From him. He would use your past misfortunes to brainwash you, considering that he loves your dependence on him.

Gyomei doesn't mind if you remain a Pillar. Although if in the end you decide to give that up he wouldn't mind either…

Tengen

Tengen considers you a curious specimen. He finds it fascinating to meet a person as agile as he is, who seems to understand the techniques of a speed fight. Imagine the surprise that engulfs him when, challenging you to a race, he finds that there is no way to track you by sound—you are quick and delicate as a leaf in the wind.

Nevertheless, the Sound Pillar feels conflicted with other facts. For example, that your loyalty to Ubuyashiki is merely a matter of convenience, since for you none of this is part of honor or revenge directly as they are; and eventually, Tengen feels both distrustful and fascinated at the same time.

How are you supposed to relate to him if the guy is giving mixed signals all the time? As the weeks go by you decide it's best to ignore him—and Tengen, of course, hates that. The frustration of not being able to be with you, since you run away all the time, leads him to put aside prejudice in order to enjoy training and racing with you. On one of those days he finds Gyomei spying on you, and the Sound Pillar can't hide a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't annoyance; the truth is that he was also intrigued to know what you were doing in your free time (which was technically almost all the time).

Tengen would be slow to realize that he is falling on his knees before you. He thinks it's because he has found a good partner, with whom he can enjoy many fun times. But the truth is that it's hard to control his feelings when he discovers that Gyomei has managed to have you in the palm of his hand; not only getting honest about who you are, but also monopolizing your time by becoming your teacher. An accumulation of jealousy leads him to eventually accept that he has begun to like you. You know—more than a friend.

I said it would take him a while to figure it out, didn't I? I hope you know how to prepare yourself very well for when Tengen accepts the inevitable. There's no turning back when he decides there's no reason to hide or repress his feelings for you. The Sound Pillar does everything to hinder your encounters with Gyomei; and even proposes to help you in your training when he notices how close you are to the Stone Pillar. Although it pains him to accept that you appreciate his partner, Tengen understands that he can't simply force you to stop talking to him.

The truth is that I don't think Tengen is a violent or extremely jealous yandere. Of course, as his obsession with having you to himself increases, so does his jealousy or harmful thoughts if he finds you too close to Gyomei, for example. But like the Stone Pillar, he is incapable of laying a hand on you… at least in violent terms—because sexually speaking, the Sound Pillar is increasingly thirsty. Unlike Gyomei, who finds pleasure in the emotional control he has over you, Tengen prefers to be physically dominant and have your attention and devotion on him at all times.

The day he discovers something from your past is the day you can consider yourself lost. Tengen will try everything in his power to familiarize you with his wives —always imagining that you could be among them, as a partner, good friend and lover—, and thus bind you emotionally; taking advantage of the fact that Gyomei opened a past wound. Tengen wants to show you that he can help you forget the pain with his great qualities. Sex, money, fun... Anything you want, he can give you. Do you want to cheat death? He will help you with that! Of course, then you have to be good, and return the favors... And who are you to refuse a good friend?

As long as your attention and adoration are on him, Tengen has no problem with you remaining a Pillar and talking to others. But at the end of the day he must always be your priority! Because, when you have to leave your post, you have to know how to satisfy him to fulfill your role by being at home with everyone else.

Yep, he's made up his mind. He has to be fast if he wants to get you. Even faster than you.

Kyōjurō

Well, let's see. You didn't like this guy at first. What the hell with that smile? And that voice? God, if anything he can seem like someone so nice, but the first moment he meets you the only thing that comes out of his mouth is: 'I don't accept your ways! But I welcome you, Elusive Pillar!’ And that's not a bad thing—please don't be misunderstood. You didn't expect them to open their arms to you as soon as you arrived; you understood it was going to be difficult if they'd hardly ever seen you in their lives. But this guy was something else.

Although Kyōjurō is not entirely convinced of your participation in the cause, you two now have Tengen in common. He appreciates you both very much, and the Flame Pillar notices it; so he tries with minimal interest to relate to you in order to understand what it is that fascinates others so much. It doesn't take him long to become equally fascinated with your agility and wit. You're quite charming, too! Suddenly Kyōjurō's smile grows naturally—his heart vibrates with excitement as a new day begins with your face in front of his.

The Flame Pillar is a typical sunshine. You quickly grow fond of him, and deeply appreciate his company. At first it was hard to put up with his yelling, and let's not even get started on how hard it is to talk to him because of his poor hearing. But other than that, Kyōjurō is a real sweetheart of a person that you love spending time with; you play together, eat together, and he even supports you unconditionally in your training and everything you do... until these same goals begin to pull you away from him.

You can't wish for things so different from him! The Flame Pillar loves your way of dealing with society's problems —demons or crime in general—, but he knows that sooner or later your true goals are going to lead you to not concentrate all your energy on your training, and with that, to move away from him and the cause. Kyōjurō wants you to stay with them forever... Well, the truth is that he wants you to stay with him forever, rather.

The Flame Pillar knows how to use his charm on others to drag shame and guilt on you. How do you go against the ideas of someone as respected as him? Impossible! Imagine how hard it is to start missing training, meals or meetings when everyone is betting on your participation because of Kyōjurō; the way even Ubuyashiki eats the story that the Flame Pillar puts on the table for him. Gyomei himself proposed it, and Tengen fully supported it.

‘Master! This person is very valuable to us, but it is difficult for them to accept it… Their past haunts them—the pain of loss and distrust of themselves. They are afraid! Master, please propose Elusive Pillar's compulsory and absolute participation with us! We are their friends and we want them to take command of their territory and responsibilities as a Pillar.’

Kyōjurō is an extremely possessive yandere, but not jealous. He loves to imagine that it will be practically impossible for you to escape if everyone starts to get familiar with you. Maybe you'll find a better goal if you see that everyone loves you! Why wish for death, when there is a huge and powerful family that can bring you greater pleasure? Besides, it would be a shame to jeopardize your abilities for an unnecessary whim such as playing with fate; always between life and death, escaping from those who can appreciate and love you.

The Flame Pillar is a delusional man. It doesn't matter how much you show your discomfort; nor how much you fight or escape countless nights, when everyone is asleep. He really believes you do it because you're afraid of the truth: you need them, and especially him. You crave affection, protection and unconditional support. You long for someone like him—a person capable of providing for you in all the ways you lack in your own capacity. But don't be ashamed! Kyōjurō will do whatever it takes to make sure that your ideas —and your legs, which really would be a shame if something were to happen to them— don't get in the way of the dazzling future that awaits with your new family... and partners, too. The Flame Pillar has no intention of abandoning his own yearnings with you.

Giyū

Giyū doesn't give a shit about you. The truth is, he doesn't agree with your actions, and disinterest is his first response to anything to do with you. So what if you're agile? So what if you're resourceful? What good is it if others fight to get Ubuyashiki's word to keep you locked up and forced to work on other terms? Giyū knows you're not going to take it seriously one way or the other. You're not even here for money, food or shelter—you're here for fun!

The Water Pillar finds it offensive that you show your face every morning in the main yards. Your hand on your sword and your back straight; eyes attentive to everyone and everything. He doesn't quite understand your dynamic either. Why are you so good at EVERYTHING you do when you fight? What is your purpose? Giyū feels that the world becomes three times more confusing when he must leave on a mission with you, and until you have the demon stressed you don't give even one cut with your sword. NOT EVEN ONE.

In spite of everything, he cannot deny that the Gods are on your side because of the way you dodge death with every step you take. Every leap is minutely calculated; every turn, every laugh, even. You dare not waste air—your breaths are precise and clean. Your technique is immaculate.

The Water Pillar swallows his prejudices when you end up saving his life. You decapitated the last demon with simplicity, smiling sweetly at him. Giyū didn't know the reason, or maybe he wanted to ignore it; but from that day on he had to give Kyōjurō the reason. To the things he and the others whispered about you on the sly. Because yes, just as you read it: Giyū might be as frustrated as he wanted to show, but he couldn't shake the charm of your smile and the impact of your presence around him.

Don't think this will make him want to spend time with you anyway. This guy is going to go on for a while ignoring you after he greets you in the morning. His eyes will roam over your figure, his hands will trace the fabric of your haori when you least expect it, and maybe he'll allow himself to take a walk to catch you sneaking around playing in the trees, wanting to hear your laughter... But nah, don't think it's because he's interested in you. Right?

Giyū is extremely weird. He doesn't understand that he likes you; and when Tengen makes a joke alluding to it, the Water Pillar can't help but feel deeply hurt that you don't even care about that. The feeling passes, but the disappointment there lingers. Giyū is embarrassed and confused. What is wrong with you? What is this unhealthy interest? The walks among the trees increase; and it's all about learning more about you and discovering what drives him so much to you. It's just that. It really is.

The thing with Giyū is this: the guy ends up coming to the conclusion that it's all due to pure and simple admiration for you. Nothing more. He talks it over with Kyōjurō —for he doesn't trust Tengen and his humor; neither does he trust Gyomei and his need to keep all information concerning you to himself—, and with a bit of manipulation here and there is where the real trouble begins. The Water Pillar is a new man.

Giyū would take a long time to demonstrate his yandere nature, but once he does, for you it's where hell on earth unleashes its first waves of heat. A warning. The Water Pillar is possessive and jealous, but he doesn't communicate it with words; he prefers to punish you physically with light activities, and humiliate you with a kind of ice law to make you feel lonely. Of course he'll join in with the others, and take advantage of this to gain your attention and affection, so that he can get inside your head and manage you as he pleases. And, hey, don't tell anyone, but... Giyū doesn't enjoy having to share you.

His darkest dream is that something terrible would happen to you, to those beautiful, fast legs, so that you would abandon your post and he could lock you away from the world. You would be just for him—to discover together other kinds of morbid pleasures that don't have to bring you so close to death, and thus away from him.

Sanemi

I'll keep it short and clear with this guy: it's going to hurt like hell, and where suffering is optional, with him it's inevitable and unstoppable. Your encounter with the Wind Pillar begins and ends with a fight, where he refuses to 'team up with someone as hopeless as you'. Just as you thought sensibly about Kyōjurō you did so with Sanemi, but of course you came to be offended by his violent behavior. The discomfort was such that you ended up running away for the whole day; terrified at the thought of having to share another space with him.

Sanemi doesn't exactly hate you, but he doesn't appreciate you either. It's a middle ground... that always ends with an explosion on his part. Screams, fists in the air; occasionally your terrified face. That's funny to him—your grimace of terror. You can be unstoppable to demons, and maybe charm others with your wit or shit whatever it is you hide up your sleeve, but he'd rather keep the charm of your fear to himself. You're so small and easy to take down with a scream. You are pathetic.

The Wind Pillar would be one of the most difficult to conquer/accompany. Relating to him means that you're going to have to put up with banging and yelling; although if you decide to walk away, he will eventually find out one way or another about your past. At first it's annoying mutterings, all coming from what he considers to be your 'pathetic followers'. Then the odd encounter with Kyōjurō, where Sanemi can't ignore honorific mentions of you and your achievements in battle; as well as your amazing personality and authenticity. To the Wind Pillar all this is pure garbage. Why should he be interested?

'They are pathetic. Are you telling me that they come to take part in a cause for the fun of it? So what if they fight and defend? It's the minimum and indispensable; I'm not going to applaud them. Nor do I find much merit in them being fast or agile... How else are they going to survive if they're not? Fuck them—with their ways of doing things, here and there. Whatever. I don't want to talk about this again, Rengoku.'

It gets to a point where Sanemi can't get over the frustration. His partner's voice keeps drilling into his head—his words about you; the way you 'so well' fight or handle yourself around, melting into the environment as you carry yourself with simplicity and divine graces... Needless to say, at night the Wind Pillar corners you after witnessing your training. The result? A 'let's fight, you piece of garbage', and a beating that leaves you stone dead for a week. It is humiliating for Sanemi to have to accept what others whispered in the shadows: you were charming. And not just charming, let's be honest; also fast and agile.

Like Tengen, the Wind Pillar would begin to let go of certain prejudices in order to spend quality time with you. In other words, simple training. Sometimes also because of how easy it was to be with you even in the silence, thanks to that way you have of being: so calm, but at the same time on par with the flow of life. It's as if you are aware of things that humans normally ignore. Sanemi didn't know how to explain it—it seemed complicated and therefore annoying. He preferred not to be annoyed with you; who knows if he would end up beating you to a pulp again.

Kyōjurō seizes the opportunity and leaves the rest of the work in the hands of Gyomei, whom Sanemi deeply respects. The latter gives him an account of nefarious events that end your family's story, and of the real reason behind Ubuyashiki's words regarding your new role in the cause. The Wind Pillar since then keeps seeing you with different eyes; his own heart spinning as he imagines your small figure —that of a creature; a child— facing such macabre scenarios. He understands on the one hand why you act the way you do. The image of his own brother dancing in his mind, with bitter memories tangling with yours. He's going crazy and the feeling is strange.

Sanemi will begin to silently admire you. With that comes other particular things, like his drastic mood swings; being bitter, maybe angry at something or someone, and then an appearance from you keeps him shy or silent. It's strange to you—but you don't question anything about it. You love being able to have a normal coexistence together with Wind Pillar, whom you admire greatly for his strength.

Sanemi, along with Iguro and Shinobu, would be the most dangerous once their yandere natures come out. The Wind Pillar is quick to understand that he wants and NEEDS to protect you. He is capable of anything for it, even hurting you enough to cripple you. He is a passionate lover; he wishes he could hold you in his arms, and can only bear to share you normally with Iguro; filling his head with ideas to set his eyes on you. So watch out, because Sanemi is going to do the impossible to make you understand (physical, psychological or sexual punishments. All of it). Maybe it's time for him to share more time with Tengen—something interesting could come out of it to try out with you.

Iguro

How come? Sanemi's on his knees for you? The Snake Pillar feels like the world is upside down when he finds his friend's lost eyes for you. And why is that, by any chance? He doesn't quite understand; but he's willing to find out. Of course it's not easy, considering that even with your reduced schedule due to training and meetings you're still on the run and doing your own thing. In dark times, in pain and illness, you are still you. He admires that very much.

Iguro is another dangerous yandere who accepts his own nature without shame. As soon as Sanemi fills his head with topics referring to you, he marches and includes himself in your routines to learn more about who you really are and the things that make you up. For you it's awkward, of course—the encounters are forced. Iguro judges you all the time, though he soon realizes that you're not at all like Giyū: someone haughty who passes over others. It's a relief to him. How could he have doubted his friend's judgment?

The Snake Pillar invites you to trainings, either alone with him or even when the Wind Pillar is available as well. It's hard for you to keep up when they attack you so eagerly. You can tell how much fun they have with you, fascinated by your movements and your charm when you get caught up in the moment; for Iguro it's a feast for the eyes and ears, with your laughter vibrating in his memory when you're not there. It doesn't take long for the Snake Pillar to feel repulsed by his feelings for you as they begin to emerge. He finds it bold on his part; considering himself unpleasant and unable to live up to you.

Just like Giyū and Gyomei, Iguro will start stalking you to satiate his need for you. In one of those many silent pursuits he'll end up hearing a couple of curious murmurs from the others, and as if his fascination for you wasn't enough, with whispers about your past and a couple of more private details he ends up accepting that he can't —nor wants to— tear you out of his head. From here the stalking increases, and you know he's there, but you don't say anything. You think it's halfway understandable; you weren't going to be marching with freedom so easily yet. Although the reason you had in mind was totally different from what they had.

Once the contempt stage passes and your words of encouragement reach the Snake Pillar's heart, considering that your friendship with him increases over time, Iguro will be more than willing to be faithful to you completely. He will attend to your needs whenever he can and you need him to; he will give you emotional support, as one would imagine a man devoted to his lover; and he will be defending the territory around you like an animal. He is a possessive yandere, and quite violent with the reason of his obsession if he doesn't get what he wants: your attention and reciprocation. Needless to say, just like Giyū, Iguro hates having to share you. When he learns that Tengen has plans to take you into his domain to fulfill alongside his wives, fury consumes him.

The Snake Pillar is not entirely okay with you continuing to take on your responsibility as a Pillar. What's more, with the Wind Pillar they had wicked conversations; full of plans on how to get you to retire forcibly. At first it's a soft thing—the sweetness falling from his lips like a whisper. As desperation takes over his mind, and with it bitter fantasies where he loses you completely, Iguro loses patience and accepts Sanemi's help to humiliate and break you mentally. Who knows... maybe even this will lead you to despair; and with it, to a terrible accident.

But you don't have to be afraid! Iguro has suffered for a long time from confinement. He understands that your charm comes from that beautiful freedom, with which you can walk around and sing for him. Iguro loves to hear your laughter. So when you retire, he will be more than willing to accompany you and keep an eye on you; always attentive to your needs, and then you can calmly return home, where you will lie for the rest of your life in a quiet and safe routine, far from death. The Snake Pillar trembles with excitement, unable to process how happy it feels to dream of that future where he has you tamed. Where you are docile and always by his side.

Muichiro (platonic)

Muichiro forgets you as soon as you introduce yourself after a meeting. The Mist Pillar, who is just a child at your side, not even acknowledges you from then on; passing you without greeting, losing his attention on the shapes of the clouds, and remaining silent, his eyes fixed somewhere when you speak to him. It's strange—but you don't question much else.

The only way I can see this boy ending up obsessing over you is after a messy fight. Not that he will be immediately attached to you; but he will certainly remember your face and voice clearly when you have saved his life. It's as if you've reached a weak spot inside his mind, in a dusty corner. The honorable way in which you risked your life to save a couple of children from several hungry demons, with a speech directed towards the Mist Pillar and his behavior, undoubtedly interfered with a barrier in his heart.

Muichiro is jealous, but only if he loses his priority for attention. If you put him at the top of your agenda, rest assured that you won't have to deal with his bad temper, which is pretty funny—but don't let his tenderness blind you. The Mist Pillar may do unpleasant things, never directed at you, in order to have you all to himself.

The loss of his family at such an early age, and in a traumatic way, leads Muichiro to cling to you in order to feel the normality he lost years ago. At the beginning it's something soft: glances, smiles, training sessions together, meals... By the time you realize it, you have the Mist Pillar inside your territory. It's like having a little brother. It's tender, but over time it becomes insistent.

Kyōjurō takes this opportunity to try to mimic Muichiro within your family picture—convince your brain that the wounded boy could be saved by you, just as you never could with your own siblings. It's cruel, but at the end of the day it works successfully. You may not see the Mist Pillar as normal at all; but he is patient, and he is willing to pull the strings to force you to like him if necessary.

Muichiro is a soft yandere, who enjoys being affectionate and receiving equal treatment. Like others of his peers, he doesn't quite agree with you being a Pillar; but he also can't imagine a future where he can't fight by your side. He loves to watch you dance among the leaves, moving your legs almost as if you were flying—never touching the ground enough, looking like a bird about to dart toward the enemy with the edge of your sword as its beak.

But as much as he adores you, Muichiro understands that he has to take care of you if he wants to continue to enjoy your presence and your affection. The way? By ruining your wings a little... just enough for you to flap them when he wants you to; but to make it impossible for you to fly away. You'd lose the charm if you have to be put in a cage, no matter how much others think it's optimal.

The Mist Pillar has dark ideas, but they are born out of the fear of losing you. From his affection for you. He is mostly someone tender and possessive, willing to mental manipulation rather than physical punishment. The latter would be the one he would never choose, unless you force him.

Shinobu

Sadistic and unstoppable. That's how Shinobu can be described. She would have been obsessed with you long ago, perhaps since you arrived with the other Pillars; but she would not be close to you completely until time passes, and with the arrival of Kyōjurō and his confirmation about the popular interest in you is when she decides she might join the plan.

The Insect Pillar is someone who enjoys good conversation, medicine and peace. She is too quiet and can barely care deeply about anything other than her job as a Pillar. Other than that, forget about it. So imagine her surprise when she learns of your arrival—Ubuyashiki's words echoing in her head as she prepares everything to inspect your health.

Suspicion blossoms first. Shinobu doesn't quite buy the reason you became a Pillar, but feigns understanding about your case and listens with sincere interest to your anecdotes. Discovering that you have traveled and fought around many new places, with demons of all kinds and a secret past, begins to sting deep inside her. At the beginning it is just that: curiosity and distrust. She refuses to so freely allow anyone who has been away for so long. I mean, you're the first Pillar in history to have been away from their post for so long! What's the point of that?

Because you have to attend often for the beatings Sanemi gives you, or for regular checkups for health issues that Ubuyashiki is concerned about, Shinobu finds herself starting varied conversations with you, because she finds you a good companion. You learn new things about medicine, and impart to her techniques you learned far away, having to meet doctors from hidden villages. The Insect Pillar considers you an interesting and powerful member.

The moment where Shinobu starts to like you is unclear. As if that wasn't enough, her signals are confusing, and she doesn't fully share her feelings with you or anyone else. To you, the Insect Pillar is terrifying with her empty eyes and inaccurate temperament. To her, you are charming and interesting; with a bright personality that helps her dispel anger and sadness.

You don't often see the Insect Pillar, but she is always one step behind you. There's no escaping when her obsession grows and is fed by Kyōjurō and the others. Just like Iguro and Giyū, Shinobu is a potential stalker, feeding her delusions with whatever she can gather from your daily routines. These same fantasies grow with the help of her companions, and it won't be long before she starts using her poisons to create new drugs to use on you.

Shinobu has no problem using physical punishment. What's more, her regular talks with Sanemi always end with a topic referring to you. She agrees with the Wind Pillar about leaving you immobilized so that you will never again endanger your life by being a Pillar. Needless to say, she is not easily moved; there would be no way for your tears or pleas to do anything in her heart.

The Insect Pillar has lost someone very special in a cruel way at the hands of a demon. Of course, you are much more agile and quicker, able to play with death without fear climbing up your back. But how long until your legs fail? How long until no one can ever hear your voice again?

Birds continue to sing even inside their cages.

Mitsuri

The Love Pillar is enchanted by you from the first moment she lays her eyes on you. She is fascinated by your ways: from the way you run, to the way you train, to the way you laugh or fight. Everything about you is incredibly cool and, of course, attractive. How could anyone hold back when they see your smile? Even your voice and shyness when Ubuyashiki introduces you to the whole team is charming.

Mitsuri is by far the Pillar you like the most besides Gyomei. Both are sweet and understanding; although just like Kyōjurō, the Love Pillar is delusional about what you want, and what she thinks is really what you should want. You don't pay enough attention to everything she says about it; you don't think there's anything you need to change. You are very clear about what you want and what you don't want.

Mitsuri doesn't agree with your escapades at all. She loves to see you being happy, and especially if it's because of her that you laugh so beautifully. But is it really necessary for you to seek such cruel things as death to give your life meaning? What is it that you are really looking for, deep down in your heart? The Love Pillar is worried that something terrible will happen to you and you will no longer be able to use your legs. It would be unfortunate if you could no longer dance and train together.

Unlike other Pillars, this girl wouldn't find satisfaction at all in having to hurt you to make you stay. Mitsuri prefers to use words... and well, let's be honest, maybe a LITTLE bit of force—but only to scare you. For her the best thing is to have you psychologically handled; the purest emotions, such as love, will keep you tied to her with honesty.

The Love Pillar has no problem sharing you—the more the merrier! There may be Pillars that she likes more than others, but in general she doesn't believe in having preferences when it comes to taking care of you and loving you. Mitsuri is not jealous; her security reaches to the skies, and her concern to have you satisfied is greater than any other negative feelings that could take place in her regarding your other partners (even if you don't think they are, but now you have them!).

The truth is, it would be hard to tell when she becomes obsessed with you. The Love Pillar may seem casual in showing her love for you, but it only takes a moment of desperation where it seems like you're going to vanish from her life to find her obsessive nature. Mitsuri is capable of crying, begging, and in one last —and terrible— instance even outright manipulating you, just so you won't leave her side.

The Love Pillar is very sweet and attentive, but also capricious. If it were up to her, she would do everything she could to be glued to your side so she could kiss you, hug you and live as your shadow. Her biggest dream? To have a family with you, of course! Imagine how beautiful the two of you would look together; a beautiful western style house in the background, with a traditional garden where you could sit and eat pancakes and watch Muichiro train, who of course is part of the family and Mitsuri already adopted —secretly— as your little brother.

But I would like to, you know, give you a little warning. Notice well how much Kyōjurō starts to impact on Mitsuri. Especially if you decide to reject her attempts; because then her obsession would become violent, and that means that maybe the impact on you would no longer be solely psychological. I tell you this in case you cherish your legs very much, for example. I don't think you would want to lose them.

Just as I don't think they would like to lose you.

[crystalsenergy]

🩵 Uranus in Aquarius through houses - brief Astro Notes ♅ ♒ 🩵

Uranus in Aquarius, unlike previous generations of Uranus, carries Uranian traits with greater openness and ease. This means that people born under Uranus in Aquarius tend to flow much more easily with Uranian energies and lessons, as there is no conflict between the sign and the planet—after all, Uranus rules Aquarius.

Furthermore, from the perspective of New Age Astrology that I strive to promote, individuals born under Uranus in Aquarius likely bring the potential to anchor more energies of originality and new movements, rather than solely adhering to the traditional and established norms.

Uranus brings innovation and growth. Expansion.

🪞

Uranus in Aquarius in 1st house

A strong desire to break free from traditional roles and expectations can lead you to carve out a very unique personal identity.

You might have a highly original approach to self-expression and appearance. People often see you as eccentric or ahead of your time.

Your personal style and appearance might frequently change, reflecting your innovative and eccentric personality.

You may frequently change hairstyles, adopting unique fashion trends, or creating a signature look that becomes iconic.

You might possess an "electric" presence that draws people in and makes a lasting impression. People find your energy stimulating and inspiring.

Your birth or early childhood might have been marked by unusual circumstances or significant changes that set the stage for your unique life path.

You may experience sudden shifts in your sense of identity, leading to transformative changes in how you see yourself and present yourself to the world.

🌿

Uranus in Aquarius in 2nd house

Your inner values can change over time.

There could be a knack for spotting groundbreaking ideas and trends before they become mainstream.

There can be a sense of detachment from material possessions, valuing freedom and independence over wealth.

A sense of detachment from traditional materialism can lead to a more minimalist lifestyle, where freedom and flexibility are more valuable than owning many possessions.

You may find unique ways to earn money, such as through technology, unconventional careers, or unusual investments.

Your sense of self-worth might be tied to your ability to innovate and think outside the box rather than traditional measures of success.

🗣️

Uranus in Aquarius in 3rd house

Traditional educational paths may not appeal to you; instead, you prefer learning through unconventional or self-directed methods.

You might communicate in highly original ways, often using technology or new media to express your ideas.

You can experience sudden flashes of insight and innovative ideas, often appearing out of nowhere.

🧬

Uranus in Aquarius in 4th house

You value personal space and freedom within your home environment, often needing room to express your individuality.

There could be a history or need of rebellion or eccentricity in your family, influencing your sense of home and belonging.

Your home life might be unconventional, perhaps living in an unusual setting or with a non-traditional family structure.

🎨

Uranus in Aquarius in 5th house

Your approach to creativity is highly innovative, often exploring cutting-edge art forms, technology, or experimental methods.

Your hobbies and leisure activities are likely to be unusual or ahead of their time, reflecting your inventive spirit.

🩺

Uranus in Aquarius in 6th house

Routine work environments might feel stifling.

There is a tendency to challenge traditional workplace norms and introduce innovative ideas.

Interest in alternative health practices and / or cutting-edge medical technologies can be prominent.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑👩‍🤝‍🧑👩‍🤝‍👩

Uranus in Aquarius in 7th house

You excel in collaborative efforts that involve innovation, technology, or social reform.

You may attract partners who are eccentric, innovative, or rebellious, reflecting your own Uranian qualities.

There can be a strong rebellion against traditional relationship roles, favoring equality and a non-hierarchical approach.

Technology plays a significant role in your relationships, from how you meet partners to how you maintain connections, for example, meeting a life partner through an online platform or maintaining a relationship via virtual reality or other advanced communication tools.

You seek partners who are unconventional and value independence. Traditional relationships may feel restrictive.

Partnerships can undergo sudden and unexpected changes, requiring flexibility and openness.

Your approach to partnerships, both personal and professional, is likely to be unconventional. You may be drawn to relationships that allow for freedom and individuality.

🌑

Uranus in Aquarius in 8th house

You are interested in revolutionary approaches to transformation.

You are interested in unconventional psychological methods.

Shared finances and resources can be subject to sudden changes, requiring adaptability.

Inheritances or shared resources might come through unusual or unexpected means, such as digital assets, intellectual property, or non-traditional bequests.

You might be drawn to exploring taboo or unconventional subjects related to sex, death, and rebirth.

A deep fascination with esoteric sciences, metaphysics, and unconventional spiritual practices might drive your exploration of the unknown and hidden aspects of life.

You might have a unique and revolutionary approach to personal transformation, embracing methods such as self-acceptance through experimental therapies, or cutting-edge psychological practices.

Technology plays a significant role in your transformative processes, possibly using advanced tools and platforms for deep psychological and emotional work.

🚵📚

Uranus in Aquarius in 9th house

A strong need for freedom in your beliefs and philosophical views can lead you to resist dogmatic or rigid ideologies. You value open-mindedness and the ability to explore various perspectives without restriction.

Your beliefs and philosophies are likely to be unconventional, often challenging traditional or mainstream views.

Your spiritual and philosophical views are likely to be progressive, rebellious, or futuristic. You may follow or create, for example, a new-age belief system that incorporates advanced technology or futuristic concepts.

You are prone to experiencing sudden and profound epiphanies or insights that can dramatically alter your worldview.

You are drawn to alternative forms of education, such as online learning, progressive institutions, or self-directed study.

Travel experiences can be unconventional or involve unusual destinations, promoting personal growth and broadening perspectives.

Your worldview is likely to be global or even universal, transcending national and cultural boundaries. You may feel a deep connection to the idea of a united humanity or even to extraterrestrial civilizations. (I'm Uranus in 9th house and I relate to this a looot.)

👨‍🎓👩‍🎓🏢

Uranus in Aquarius in 10th house

You may experience sudden and unexpected changes in your career, requiring flexibility and a willingness to adapt.

Your career trajectory can be highly unconventional and non-linear, with sudden shifts and changes that may seem unpredictable to others.

You are seen as a trailblazer in your professional life, often challenging the status quo.

You might be seen as someone who challenges norms and introduces groundbreaking ideas in your field.

Your unconventional approach can sometimes lead to public controversies or resistance, as your ideas and methods might challenge the status quo.

Your career goals are likely to be visionary and aimed at creating significant, long-term change rather than short-term success.

Leading a global initiative to bring renewable energy solutions to developing countries, significantly impacting global sustainability efforts.

👥

Uranus in Aquarius in 11th house

Your social circle consists of unconventional, forward-thinking individuals who share your progressive ideals.

Friendships can be revolutionary in nature.

Mutual support in personal growth can be extremely important to you.

You are drawn to social causes and community projects that involve innovation and aim to create significant societal change.

Your social circle is likely to be tech-savvy and forward-thinking, often consisting of individuals who share your interest in innovation and progress.

You may form friendships through online communities, social media, or tech meetups rather than traditional settings.

Social dynamics in your friendships and groups can be unpredictable, with sudden changes in alliances or group structures.

You are drawn to community projects that involve innovation and forward-thinking solutions to social issues.

🌌

Uranus in Aquarius in 12th house

Interest in unconventional healing practices and psychological exploration, often involving alternative methods.

You might have hidden eccentricities or secret interests that you prefer to keep private, only sharing with a select few who understand your unconventional nature.

Your dreams and unconscious mind are a source of innovative ideas and insights, often ahead of their time.

Your innovative and rebellious ideas might be kept hidden or operate behind the scenes, influencing events in subtle and unexpected ways. For example, being a silent partner in revolutionary social movements.

You may experience sudden and profound spiritual insights that transform your understanding of the unseen and mystical aspects of life.

An interest in unconventional healing methods, such as energy healing, quantum healing, or using technology for spiritual and psychological wellness.

Your subconscious mind might harbor disruptive or rebellious patterns that surface unexpectedly, leading to periods of inner turmoil and transformation.

There can be a revolutionary approach to compassion and humanitarian efforts, often working behind the scenes to support radical social change.

[onlyangel4]

desperate times call for desperate measures. toto wolff. part 2.

sugar daddy! toto wolff x reader

you are a struggling artist trying to live instead of just spending every moment worrying about money. toto wolff is the loneliest rich man in the world, when you find each other you are exactly what the other needs.

warnings- 18+, cursing, discussions of financial struggles. sugar daddy relationship. age gap relationship (reader is around twenty five. smut. Fingering in a private public place (I know it doesn’t make sense but trust me it will). for this toto has been divorced for three years.

part one // part three

“if you don’t stop pacing I’m going to get whiplash”, anna complained as she looked at your obviously worried form pacing back and forth in your tiny apartment. she was here for emotional support while you got ready for your first meeting with toto, something that caused an awful lot of anxiety to bubble up within you.

“i can’t help it, i’m just nervous”, you spoke as you looked at your friend hoping for some sympathy. anna stood from her place on your bed and placed a hand on your shoulder slowing you down to a halt.

“just focus, your hair and make up is done, what are you going to wear?”, anna questioned bringing your focus back to the here and now. you were forever grateful to have someone in your life that could ground you in the way that anna did. you would be lost without her.

“well, he sent me a box, he told me to only open it when i was ready to get dressed”, you explained and you could have sworn you watched anna’s jaw drop. “i told you, he is rich anna, he said he didn’t want me to worry about anything”, you explained but anna was already in your cupboard searching for the box that you had just mentioned before she thrusted it into your arms.

“come on open it”, she practically begged making you playfully roll your eyes at your friend before you did as you were told, pulling at the bows holding the box together. as it opened you were met with the most gorgeous pink satin material. on one of your first conversations with toto you had mentioned to him that your favourite colour was pink, so when he was picking you out a dress he knew exactly what to go with. you unfolded the dress, it was a figure hugging floor length gown with a high slight on your left leg, all held up by straps with the tiniest pink pearl details running along them.

this was quite possibly the nicest piece of clothing that you owned and it was clear that anna agreed, “fucking hell y/n, i’m this close to breaking up with tom and getting on that app”, she joked making both of you laugh. you quickly pulled the dress on with anna’s help to not ruin your already done hair and make up. once you were finally ready you looked at yourself in the mirror, this was the prettiest that you had felt in a long time. You felt first date ready, if this could even be considered a date.

“question”, anna piped up pulling you from your thoughts, “what the fuck are you going to wear on your feet, sketchers will not go with this”, she spoke. she was right, you didn’t really own nice shoes, you brought comfortable shoes that you knew would last a long time so you did not have to re buy them. but you did have an idea, you rooted through your closet and found a shoe box containing a pair of silver heels, these had been your prom shoes and you had hardly worn them since, but they were perfect for the dress.

anna left your apartment when you were all ready leaving you in front of the mirror just looking at yourself, it really didn’t feel like you but you liked it, the person in the mirror was just the rich version of you. a knock at the door alerted you that your ride was there and you grabbed your handbag and went over to the door. you were met with a man dress in a suit with a friendly smile on his lips, “y/n?”, he questioned and you nodded, “toto sent me to come and get you, follow me please” and once again you did as you were told.

///

spoiling you was toto’s number one priority, from his conversations with you he had learnt that you did not grow up with much and as an adult you lived with whatever you could afford but you never got to experience the luxury in life. toto had grown up with money, he was used to nice things. They were not special for him anymore. but watching someone else experience that luxury, now that would be special. especially if that person was you.

he may have gone a little overboard, but who could blame him? this was his first time having someone to spoil in three long years. he had spent hours online looking for the perfect dress to buy you. he had his personal driver pick you up in an incredibly nice car. and he had booked out the small private dining room at the ritz, asking to be left uninterrupted unless they were bringing foot. he wanted to be able to have this time with you in private, he wanted you two to be away from any prying eyes, so the private room was perfect. it may have cost a lot but that was nothing to toto, he would drop that money on you in a heartbeat.

toto was sat in the dining room at the single table that had been placed there. he had a bouquet of pink flowers at his side ready to give to you. he had planned it all perfectly it was going to be perfect but toto couldn’t help the nerves that he was feeling. these nerves than worse than those that he felt on an important race weekend. he was really nervous, he wanted to make sure this went well, he hoped that you would like him the way that he knew he would like you and then you would be able to continue this less than traditional relationship dynamic that he was desperate for. He would be able to look after you.

his head snapped in the direction of the door when he heard it open and sure enough he saw you stood there in the dress that looked a hundred times better on you than it did on the models on the website. he stood from his seat to approach you, “you look beautiful y/n”, he spoke offering you his arm to which you flashed him as smile and held onto it approaching the table.

“it is all this dress toto, i don’t think i have ever owned anything this nice. thank you”, toto couldn’t help the pride that swelled in his heart when he heard you thank him.

“anytime schatzi”, he spoke looking at you, “that is what I am here for”

seeing toto through a phone screen and seeing him in person were two very different things. ihis man was a giant, his towering height and broad shoulders gave him such a dominant vibe something that you found incredibly attractive and the way he looked at you made you weak at the knees. he looked at you like you were everything, his eyes trying to work out every single detail of your face and commit it to memory. yes, he was almost double your age but you did not care, he was one of the most attractive men that you had ever seen.

“i hope you don’t mind but i ordered a bit of a tasting selection for us that way you get to try everything”

“i don’t think i would have been able to pick if you asked me to order, i have no idea what half of this stuff is. i’m used to chicken nuggets and chips” you spoke and he chuckled softly finding your opposing lifestyles very endearing.

you and toto continued on this little meeting just talking about all sorts and drinking wine as you did so. You felt comfortable in his presence, like he could protect you from anything. you told him all about anna and your friendship with her and her boyfriend while he told you about his children. you listened intently enjoying learning about the man. yes you could have googled him but you saw no point in it. you wanted to learn who he really was. not who the internet thought he was.

there was a moment where the vibe between you switched from friendly to something a little different. you had been talking to him and using your hands as you talked, a quirk that you had whenever you were a little nervous. and one of your rings had fallen off your finger and onto the floor so naturally you bent down to grab it but toto had beaten you to it and gotten to the ring as it rolled to his feet. when you sat back up straight the strap on your dress had shifted down your shoulder revealing more of your breast to him and toto’s mind almost short circuited right there, you were pulled from his dreams. he was sure of it.

toto stood from his seat making his way over to you, his fingers gently ghosted over your shoulder reaching down from the strap of your dress, pulling it back to its previous place. he then reached for your hand, “here you go babygirl”, he spoke in a hushed voice as he slid the ring back onto your finger his eyes looking deeply into yours as he did. you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you looked at him, trying to control all of the not so family friendly thoughts that were currently racing around your mind. your eyes flicking down to his large hands for a moment, thinking about what it would feel like to have them roaming over your body, touching you in ways you could only imagine.

toto still had your hand in his and he decided to be bold, he pulled you to your feet and he then took a seat where you had been sat. he gently patted his lap, giving you the choice, if you were uncomfortable then he would just let it be call his driver and ask him to take you home. but you were not uncomfortable. instead, the idea of sitting in his lap made your heart race in your chest. you gently moved to perch on his lap, his hand on your lower back as your body rested against his toned chest. “this is where you belong darling”, he whispered into your ear as his free hand sat on your thing gently rubbing circles on your clothed skin.

toto continued talking to you, asking you questions about your life, your likes and dislikes, he wanted to know it all but your brain had gone to mush, you were sat on the lap of an incredibly attractive, powerful, older man. it was like all your dreams had come true and you did not know how to keep your composure.

“are you alright there darling”, he asked in between his questions and you nodded your head but it was clear that he was not satisfied with just a nod. his hand moved from your thigh to your chin tilting it upwards to look at him, “use your words doll, what are you thinking?”, he asked.

“i’m okay toto”, you spoke quietly, “this is just nice, i haven’t sat like this with anyone in a long time”

“i know darling”

his hand moved back to your thigh but this time on the one with the slit in your dress. his hand gently moved under the fabric and you gasped softly, you turned to look at him but he had craned his neck to kiss you. it took your breath away as you kissed him back just as passionately feeling his hand find your panties . he slowly pulled away to look at you, “you are beautiful doll”, he spoke as he moved his lips now moved to your neck kissing  up and down your skin as his hand moved your panties to the side.

“please”, you whimpered.

“please, what?”

“please touch me”

that was all the invitation that toto needed as his fingers quickly found your clit, his knee had wedged in between your thighs to keep them apart and he used the slit in your dress to allow his hands entry to your sensitive spot. His fingers rubbed at your clit, soft moans falling from your lips. toto was taking it all in, watching over your shoulder seeing the way your cunt was already glistening for him. god it drove him crazy. he wished he could just fuck you right there but he had other plans. toto moved your dress up to bunch it around your waist allowing him to wrap his arm under your leg, this allowed him to be able to push a finger into you and he could feel the way you clenched around his hand, oh he wished he could feel that on his cock. toto knew exactly what to do to pull those delicious moans from your lips as your head laid back against his shoulder. you were in such an intense feeling of bliss as you felt your orgasm begin creeping up on you.

“toto”, you warned

“i know schatzi, just let go for me”

and you did just that, coming undone your chest heaving up and down as you turned to kiss him, much softer this time, gentle, almost loving. you slowly pulled away. toto pulled your panties back over and your dress down.

“what about you?”, you questioned and he chuckled softly. “as much as i would love to take you to a room upstairs, we have a plane waiting for us, we are going to spain to visit ares del maestrat, you said you wanted to go so i am going to take you. so we can’t get too carried away here”, he spoke and your jaw fell to floor, so this was what real princess treatment felt like.

[venerawrites]

I saw the post where the anon asked for relationship hdcs for before/after the war this morning and I wanted to ask for something similar but make it sort of a spin-off where they broke off bc of his toxic behavior pre-war and then they meet again after it? I hope the anon don't mind me LOLOL i just loved the idea

author's note: I love the exes-to-lovers trope and I was about to go with that at first, but then I decided it's better if I kind of leave it with more of an open ending x For anyone wondering the post anon is talking about, the headcanons this imagine is based on. Hope you enjoy! <3

Loving him was never meant to be easy.

In fact, you often felt like it is shameful. He was cold and cruel, with heart poisoned by hatred. His desire for revenge has become a scary obsession, one which was pushing him closer and closer toward the edge of his sanity every single day.

People were scared of him, you knew that. "The Demon with the Red Eyes", they called him. His name had become a forbidden curse, one that should never be mentioned out loud or it may summon his presence from the shadows. Parents hugged their children close when he walked down the dirty village roads and merchants lowered their heads, hoping he would pass by without a glance. He had became a legend of fear, a nightmare in the shape of a man.

Once upon a time the village you lived in was a peaceful haven - tucked away in the mountains, it was one of the few places where there were no ninjas. Instead of warriors, the people here were craftsmen - they were born and taught to create, not destruct. Blacksmiths forged fine blades from rare metals, making some of the highest-quality weaponry anyone can own. Weavers produced fabrics, so beautiful, every village and clan leader across the lands wanted their garments made from them to show their status and wealth. Over the years, these talents had secured not only peaceful relationships with other villages and nations, but also provided protection to the locals from the turmoil of the outside world.

Rogue ninjas rarely passed by and even when they did, they were not interested in attacking or stealing. They knew that destructing one of the main providers of materials to all the nations would bring only trouble, one that is not worth the headache if you are already a wanted criminal.

But nothing good can last forever and for your village the end of the peaceful times came in the form of Sasuke Uchiha.

It was a late summer night when you found him heavily bleeding on the forest ground near your house. Thinking back, you should've paid more attention to the small crest on the back of his shirt, before you dragged him back to your house. Because barely an hour passed before you found yourself pressed against the wall, the cold metal of his sword barely scraping the delicate skin of your neck.

"Give me one reason I should spare your life", he said calmly, yet his crimson red eyes narrowed as he stared you down. It was then the realisation of who you actually brought home hit you.

"Because I spared yours...", you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper. Your answer seemed to amuse him and he let out a loud snort, his head leaning to one side. Not only you didn't beg for your life, but you also seemed to find the confidence to provide cheeky answers.

The boy didn't say anything else and you closed your eyes when you felt his blade pressing slightly harder against your skin, making a small cut. Before it can actually harm you, however it retreated completely. You stood there panting, one of your hands immediately moving toward your neck, wiping the small drop of blood that was slowly running down to your collarbone.

When you opened your eyes again, he was gone.

Months passed, yet the memory of that brief interaction haunted you like a ghost. There was something about him, something you couldn't really place your finger on, that allured you like a moth to a flame. Growing up hearing the rumours of a powerful Leaf Shinobi, who abandoned his home and his friends to seek power so he can kill his brother, you have always imagined him as big, scary, monster-like human. Someone who can justify the horror stories the people told about him.

The boy that you brought to your house, however, was too... perfect. His eyes glowed like rubies, making your breath hitch in awe, rather than fear. His skin, despite being covered with small scars and cuts, looked too soft to be one of a warrior. He was beautiful, no denial about that, but the aura of his presence was what mesmerized you. It was unlike anyone you've ever met before. It was powerful, demanding your whole attention and making you feel almost unsignificant in comparison.

Two seasons passed before you found him laying on your couch after you came back home from work, his white shirt painted red from the flowing blood from his abdomen. He didn't even bother to look at you when he heard you gasp and drop the bag with groceries on the floor, instead acknowledging your presence only with a few simple words:

"I need stiches."

Your mouth opened, intending to argue that you are not a healer, but before any sound could come out, your eyes met his and something inside of you broke. His gaze, as black as night, looked like he was silently pleading with you - something he had no guts to do out loud. Before you could think twice about the potential consequences of saving him a second time, you rushed to grab your medical box and sat on the floor before him, starting to delicately work on his skin. He guided you through the process with low voice, his rough fingers wrapping around yours when he noticed them shaking before scolding you for not keeping steady.

"If I knew you were so incompetent with simple tasks that even a child could do, I wouldn't have wasted my time coming here."

One thing about Sasuke is that he was not the type of man to spare your feelings. In fact, with time you noticed the he was taking extra minute before saying something, almost as if he carefully weighting and choosing the words that would sting the most. He seemed to find a certain dose of pleasure in it, his lips barely twitching upwards when you fire back insults at him, telling him he knows where the door is.

Yet time and time again, he found his way back to you. Of course, it was never accompanied by an apology for the way he treated you. He was not the type to apologize or admit fault. Instead, his visits were always paired with a demand. "Heal me", he would command you, before throwing his sword and shirt to the side; or "Let me stay for a while, I need to rest", before entering through the door uninvited. Your home has become a place of solitude, one where he could forget the pain, the lust for blood and the constant headache of having to deal with his old teammates from Konoha, even if it was for few days.

You were not one to hold back against his sharp tongue, matching his words with equal fire. "Ungrateful prick", you would say loud enough for him to hear after he sought your help once again after he was wounded, "This is the last time I am taking care of your stupid ass. Next time I am letting you bleed out on the front porch! I don't care!"

But you did care and it was never 'the last time', no matter how many times you repeated it. And the cycle continued: sharp words would be followed by mutual frustrations and him disappearing for a few weeks, before he found himself entering through the front door once again. You try to convince yourself you hated him, yet you kept leaving your home unlocked, a silent invitation for him to keep reappearing into your life.

It would've been easier to cut him out forever, if it wasn't for the rare glimpses of softness he showed you. The moments when his guard dropped, even if it was just for a bit, revealing that behind his cold exterior, he was just one broken boy. The way he would subtly press his cheek against the palm of your hand when you clean the wounds of his face, silently seeking your warmth and comfort. They way his eyes would soften while he listens to you ramble on and on about the rainy weather which makes it impossible for you to go and work out in your garden. The way he fixed random stuff in your house, after your complained you couldn't really work well with a hammer or that one of the chairs was wobbling, yet the local handyman was too busy to come and take a look.

These moments, so rare, yet significant to you, made it impossible to break this toxic circle you both found yourselves into. Slowly, he became such a constant in your life that it was impossible to even imagine not having him around. He had his own shelf in the wardrobe, where a few of his shirts were folded neatly, though he never explicitly asked you for a place to keep his things. His cup always sat turned upside down near the sink and he often brought "souvenirs" - random, odd trinkets - from his travels across the villages, carefully placing them on the small wooden rack next to the fireplace.

And in a weird way, you didn't mind. Instead, you found yourself doing small acts of care for him, things he never asked or expected you to do. You planted a small corner of your garden with tomato seeds, just for him, so he can have fresh food whenever he visited. You packed cooked meals for him and his teammates, despite never meeting them. You washed his clothes and folded them, so they were ready to be used next time he came. You adapted to his small habits like waking up at five o'clock every single morning and having jasmine tea for breakfast, so it was always ready by time he finishes his morning training.

The balance you managed to strike between the words of resentment and the gestures of gentleness was as delicate as a thread about to snap. You knew it cannot last forever, not when you were witnessing him falling deeper and deeper into the darkness of his own hatred. The closer he was to finding and killing Itachi, the further he drifted from the Sasuke you knew. But you clung to the hope it is not too late for him, that once he had this final battle he was preparing for so long, he would be free of the rage that consumed him and would see that the peace he so badly wanted, could not be achieved by spilling blood.

But that same battle turned out to be the beginning of the end. For both of the little sanity he had left and of the whatever bond you had between you.

When he came to your house that night, you almost did not recognize him. Not because he was covered in dirt and dried blood, because at this point you were used to seeing him like this, but because you have never seen tears in his eyes before. His battered body collapsed in your arms and for the first time, he opened the gates to his past and told you all about his family. In the past he has mentioned bits and pieces, but never the full story. Between shuddering breaths, he recounted memories from his childhood - the playful afternoons with his mother, the training sessions with his father and brother and memories of that one night that turned his whole life upside down.

"Everything I believed, it all turned to be a lie... I..", the words fell like broken whimpers from his mouth, not forming full sentences, yet you knew better than to answer. You just held him in your arms, letting him pour all his pain, frustration and guilt, hoping that this would ease the weight of the burdens he'd carried for so long.

But what you thought was a light in the end of the tunnel turned out to be flashing red warning of what was to come. The idea of revenge persisted, this time against his former home and its leaders. His words became sharper, his presence colder and there seemed to be a new fire of hatred burning inside of him, one brighter than before. The rare glimpses of care and protectiveness that he has shown to you before, now spiraled into unhealthy paranoia of someone coming after you.

"What exactly are you doing?", you asked one day when you came home only to find him pulling your clothes out of the wardrobe and putting them into a leather bag.

Sasuke didn't even spare you a glance, his jaw tight as he continued packing with swift, urgent moves. His hair was sticking in different directions and he had dark bags under his eyes, indicator of the many nights he spend laying in bed wide awake.

"You are coming with me."

These five words caused a shiver to run down your spine. Without thinking, you lunged forward, gripping his wrist mid-air as he was reaching to pull more of your belongings. His head turned sharply toward you, his eyes narrowing as a warning for you to back off.

"Sasuke, just stop!", you snap, retreating your hand but still standing your ground, "Tell me what is going on!"

The young Uchiha stared at you for a minute, his gaze boring into yours, before he let out a loud scoff and turned his attention back to packing. He was just about to reach for a pile of your shirts, when you slapped his wrist away, annoyed at how he seemed to ignore not only your words, but your whole presence.

"Sasuke, I said stop! I am not going anywhere!"

Your words hung in the air, firm and final. He turned toward you, making a small step in your direction so you were chest to chest. You could feel the heat radiating from him and for a moment the whole room felt too small, almost as if shrunk with the intensity of his inner fury.

"I am not asking you", he hissed through gritted teeth. Before you can reply, his fingers found their way to your jaw, gripping at as he held your gaze with his, "You are coming with me, whether you like it or not. It's not safe for you here."

The pressure of his grip made you wince, while your hands pressed against his chest, trying to push him away. But he was always bigger and stronger than you, and while you have spent countless nights admiring his physique, now you cursed his strength and size.

The darkness of his eyes transformed into glowing red, his silent way of showing that he meant what he was saying.

He was not about to leave you here, not when you belonged to him.

"Sasuke!", you cried out, pressing against his chest with more force, but he remained unmoving, "Stop! You're hurting me."

Your words seemed to fall on deaf ears, his grip on your jaw tightening. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip and you gulped at the feeling, your whole body tensing one he pressed his forehead against yours.

"Don't you understand?", he asked, frustrated at the way you pushed him away. His voice was laced with a mix of desperation and annoyance, the volume of it rising with each word he spoke.

"I'm doing this for you, for US", he stressed on the last word, his head moving just an inch away so he can look into your eyes again, "They will come for you! They will use you as leverage against me and I can't-"

"Freaking hell, who is they? What are you talking about?"

The questions seemed to annoy him and instead of loosing his hold on you, he fingers dug tighter, almost as if he was scared you may slip between them.

"Who is they?", he growled, shaking his head, "It's freaking everyone! All the villages, their leaders, every damn rogue ninja out there who is after the bounty on my head... they will all come after you! I can't let that happen! I WON'T let that happen."

With both hands gripping the front of his shirt, you finally relaxed in his grip and allowed yourself to actually look at him.

And then your heart clenched in fear. It wasn't because you were scared of his dark predictions or the possibility of any of his enemies getting to you. No. What you were scared of was that after seeing the way his body shook and heard how his voice trembled, you had to accept the one truth you tried to run from for a very long time.

That the the man you fell in love with was no longer there . The Demon with the Red Eyes was all that remained.

With one final, stronger push you managed to free yourself from his hold and you didn't waste even a second in putting some distance between you. Your hand moved to your face, rubbing the sore skin while you held your eyes glued to the floor.

Even the sight of him was too much to bear at this moment.

"Stop resisting and just listen to me-", he tried to reason with you, but his attempt did nothing more than make you sick in the stomach.

"Stop, just stop!"

"I am trying to protect you-"

"You can't protect me from yourself!"

The words felt like a slap to the face and he stumbled a step back, his face twisting into a hurt expression. It was a look you've seen only once, almost two months ago when he cried in your arms after killing Itachi, one that you thought you may never see again. It pained you too, seeing him so fragile and knowing you were the reason for his disappointment and distress.

But just as quickly it showed, it was gone and replaced with his usual mask of coldness.

"You think you need protection.. from me?", his tone was even, laced with irritation as he studied you from the opposite corner of the room. His fists clenched, the urge to just grab you and drag you with him getting stronger and stronger. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer to the question, not when he already knew the answer was a positive one.

"I thought...", you managed to say before closing your mouth again and moving your head to the side. The heaviness of his gaze felt like a unbearable weight on your shoulders, one which could crush you any second now.

"You thought what?", he pressed, his head tilting to the side, "What did you think, huh? That I would stay in this silly cottage in the middle of nowhere and garden vegetables all day long? That I would just forgive and forget the people who put not only me, but also my brother through hell? The people who took everything from me?"

You watched him walk closer, shortening the safe distance you've put between you just a few moments ago. Was this what you thought? Was this what you wanted? To be honest you didn't know... The fragile illusion of your domestic cozy life, accompanied by you falling in love with the idea of someone who you thought you knew, had shattered so quickly, that you didn't know what you thought. Or wanted.

Perhaps it was your fault. You invited a monster into your life and now the consequences of your actions finally caught to you. Was there really anyone to blame but yourself?

After a minute, you managed to gather your thoughts and you looked up at him, forcing your gaze to meet his despite the overwhelming desire to just turn around and run as far as possible from him.

"I thought that there may still be hope for you", you said, your head weakly shaking from side to side, "But I was wrong. You are too far gone... and I can't let you drag me with you."

Sasuke remained silent, his red eyes studying your face, searching for any signs of insecurity, any crack in your resolve. And when he found nothing, he couldn't help but clench his fists by his side. For a moment you thought he may lash out at you, but instead, he simply turned his back to you, walking toward the door with heavy steps.

"You've always been like this", he said flatly, stopping once his hand reached the doorknob, "Naive, stupid little thing... thinking the world is just flowers and goodness. Living in your little pink bubble and having no idea of how the real world works."

His voice sounded like a snake's hiss, low, yet venomous, each word dripping with disdain. He stood there for a few more seconds and you saw the muscles of his back tensing under his shirt. But when you thought he will turn around and say something else, you were met with nothing but his retreating figure, followed by the loud slam of the door.

He was gone. And this time, the cycle was broken.

.

7 years later, after the war...

.

Fate is a funny thing.

Growing up, you thought you would never leave your home village, let alone wander across unknown lands and dipping your toes into unknown cultures. After all, with so much cruelty and bloodshed happening, why would you leave your safe home?

Unlike many others, your village flourished during the war - the fine weapons the locals produced were in a high demand and the orders for them came one after the other. Business boomed, and what had once been a quiet place untouched by the chaos of the outside world, suddenly became a hub of activity. And while the people tried to continue their lives as normal, it was a fact that the village was now a central player on the global chessboard.

The decision to leave such a place during a time of conflict was not an easy one - this was your home, the only security you had. But seeing the people you loved and cherished create weapons, used to further fuel the war happening beyond the village walls, has shifted something inside of you and the way you looked at the world. Maybe all this time, Sasuke was right, and you did indeed lived in your own pink bubble.

The times were unforgiving, the people as well. The Uchiha frequent visits did not go unnoticed by the locals, especially toward the end of your "relationship" when they were happening every few days. As expected, none of them was willing to show any sympathy toward him or you, for that matter. The reputation that preceded Sasuke has always been tainted by his past and soon that reputation threw its shadow onto you as well.

Within a few months after he left forever, you were no longer viewed with the same regard as you once had been. Whispers followed you in the streets, and eyes watched you with suspicion, but always behind your back. The once warm greetings were replaced with cold indifference, and the stall where you continued to sell your vegetables for a while turned from one of the most crowded places on the Sunday market into an abandoned wooden table covered with your fresh produce that nobody wanted.

It hurt. You were once a part of this community and some of the people felt like family. Like the baker Pow, who always made sure to add olive oil and some lemon juice to at least one of his breads, because he knew this was how you liked them. Or the shoemaker Nara, who always made the same model of shoes for your birthday since you were ten and at this point it was some sort of a joke between you two.

But now these people had cut you off, leaving you alone with nothing but memories of what it feels to belong to something. The people you had grown up with, shared meals with, confided in, had now become strangers.

Sasuke Uchiha shattered not only your heart, but your whole life.

And were left with no choice but to leave.

Ironically, that turned out one of the best things that ever happened to you. You met many people during your travels and picked up many different skills. Your knowledge about plants has landed you the opportunity to work under the supervision of well-known botanists, exposing you the real wonders of the world. Under their mentorship you grew as rapidly as a flower - you hungrily soaked knowledge and cultivated it, eager to one day have your name known alongside those experts who you looked up to.

New friendships were formed and new loves were experienced along the way. Life still had ups and downs, but you were more confident now, more resilient, and better equipped to handle whatever came your way. The future was full of surprises, ones that you often embraced with open arms. Every day was different and you were always eager to see what the next one would bring.

What you didn't expect, however, was for fate to meet you with the last Uchiha once again.

It happened when you least anticipated it, in the most ordinary of places. You traveled to a remote village to assist one of your mentors in delivering a lecture about herbs that can be used in medicine at the local academy. This was your life now: sharing your knowledge, working alongside brilliant minds and helping inspire young students to follow the same steps. And while you usually didn't pay attention to the faces in the crowd, too focused on delivering your presentation, the onyx eyes you used to love so much were impossible to miss.

Sasuke stood in the same corner throughout the whole session, not daring to approach you till the end, when it was only you and him left in the room.

"You are hard to find", he stated, the faintest ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He looked different - older, for sure, but also with calmer and more mature aura. He was dressed in all dark and his hair was longer, covering one of his eyes.

"But you still did", you stated blankly, turning your attention back to putting the jars of dried herbs in your bag.

"I've had to do my research."

The words hung between you, as he lingered behind you, silently watching you putting away your stuff. Just like him, you have changed. There was no trace of the fiery, yet insecure young farmer that had saved his life so many times years ago. Instead, now you stood proud and confident before him, a testament to all you’d endured and achieved since those days.

After a few minutes of silence, you finally turned around to face him.

"What are you doing here?"

His gaze held yours, his eyes softening just the tiniest bit as he followed the lines of your face. Gazing at the person he had dreamed about for so many years felt almost too good to be true ... and for a moment he needed to just take it in, make sure you were really there before him.

The man lifted his left arm to reach for his bag and this was the moment you noticed it was the only one he had. You tried not to stare, but your throat involuntarily stiffened at the sight. Sasuke Uchiha, the strongest man you've ever met, the inspiration that has inspired so many legends across the land, had suffered a loss just like many other during the war. Another reminded that he was just a human, like the rest of the world.

He must have noticed your staring, because the moment he pulled one of the books you co-written with another botanist, he adjusted his cloak and hid the front of his body from view.

"I've read your book", he placed the book on the desk between you. His eyes moved a few times between the cover and your face, trying to find the right words to express the storm of feelings that was brewing inside his chest after seeing you for so long. Funny how on the way here he thought about all the things he wanted to say if he actually find you, yet now he was now unable to mutter even a word more.

"Thank you?", you raised a brow, unsure how to respond.

Sasuke has always been a man of action rather than one of words. In the past, you learned how to read the smallest twitches and movements of his body in order to guess what he is thinking. But as you watched him now, all nervous and unable to hold your gaze for more than few seconds, you felt like you were looking at a stranger.

"I am sorry", his suddenly said and you felt your breath hitch. You blinked a few times in surprise, unsure if you had heard correctly.

He lifted his eyes to look at you, before clearing his throat:

"I am sorry I treated you the way I did. I am sorry I was so blinded by my anger and hate to actually listen to you. I am sorry I left", with each word you felt your chest getting tighter and heavier with all the emotions you had thought you buried long ago.

"The thing I am most sorry about is that I couldn't protect you... from me."

The wound you thought has healed a long time ago was wide open again and you had to grab the edge of the desk to keep yourself from collapsing before him. Never have you even hoped to see him again, let alone hear him apologize. It felt almost like a dream, and you had to blink a few times, just to make sure his appearance was not just a sick joke your mind has decided to play on you after a long day.

After waiting a few minutes for a response which never came, Sasuke let out a soft sigh, before making a few steps toward you. His fingers twitched, the need to reach out and touch you almost overwhelming, yet he held back.

"I am proud of you. You came far.."

The man offered you a small smile, one which you could not really return because of the state of shock you were still in. It all felt surreal, like a tsunami of unresolved feelings, memories and unsaid things hitting you all at once.

"You don't have to say anything", he said after noticing the struggle you faced in trying to convey your conflicted feelings into words, "I don't expect you to forgive me or to forget what I did to you. But I just... needed to see you. At least one last time."

He was just about to turn around, when your free hand reached for his arm and you wrapped your fingers around his wrist.

"Wait!"

He paused, turning his head to look at you. For a moment, you felt silly and vulnerable, unsure of why exactly did you stop him or what you should say to him.

"Don't go. Not yet. Just..."

Sasuke's expression shifted slightly and his features softened slightly as he gazed down at you. You could tell this was not the response he expected. Maybe deep down he hoped you were the same fiery person as before and that you would just throw a jar of dirt at his head for putting you through so much. Or that you would scream at him and just kick him out. Maybe that way it would be easier to actually cut the fragile thread of memories that still connected you. But you were not ready to do that yet.

"Would you help me pack the things back?", you nodded your head toward the bag of jars and pile of documents that were still sitting on the desk. As usual, your mentor decided to leave earlier, leaving all of the clearing up part to you.

"Maybe we can go to the local teahouse after. To catch up... for the old times' sake."

Your fingers withdrew from his arm and you took a step back, putting some distance between you. His one visible eye followed your figure and slowly he nodded his head.

Deep down you both knew that this may not be the best thing to do. You were both different people now, yet the memories of your shared time was bound to haunt both of you no matter how hard you tried to pretend it didn't happen. While you both grew and changed, he was not fully healed yet. And neither was you. You still had much to grow, to learn, to see.

Fate was indeed a funny thing. It intervened your paths before and for better or the worse, it was doing it again. And you couldn't really know if you should allow it, but who were you to get in its way? Perhaps this time it would be different. Or perhaps you would just go back in time, ending in the same position you found yourself seven years ago.

But as he stood next to you, silently organizing and packing the last few documents left on the desk, you knew you had to just allow life flow and embrace any change or challenge it threw in your way. Even if its name was Sasuke Uchiha.

cc artwork: Shan Yanan

[grimoirey]

✨ Tarot Numerology ✨

ONE

The Leader

Numerology Meaning:

The number 1 is about initiation, originality, and stepping out into the world with purpose. As the first step out of infinite potential (zero), 1 stands alone, symbolizing individual identity, willpower, and the courage to create. Historically, 1 is the mark of primal force—the singular essence from which everything flows. In numerology, it’s the energetic core of independence, ambition, and the spark to innovate.

Tarot Perspective:

In the Tarot’s pip cards, the Aces of each suit carry this singular, potent energy. They represent pure forms of the suit’s element—raw potential that holds all possibilities within it, waiting to be expressed. Just as 1 represents an unshaped force, each Ace is a pure idea, whether in action (Wands), emotions (Cups), intellect (Swords), or physicality (Pentacles). These Aces invite us to seize opportunities with confidence and be bold in our pursuits.

TWO

The Diplomat

Numerology Meaning:

The number 2 brings balance, harmony, and relational awareness. It’s about duality—the first reflection, the dance between two forces, and the desire for unity and partnership. Historically, 2 has symbolized the divine feminine, yin energy, and the space of receptivity. It’s a number of gentle strength, peacekeeping, and the intuitive drive to connect.

Tarot Perspective:

In the pip cards, the Twos depict the ways we connect, reflect, and balance in each element. Whether it’s a decision (Swords), a new partnership or harmony in emotions (Cups), steady progress in material pursuits (Pentacles), or a balancing act in action (Wands), the Twos reveal how we respond to relationships and decisions. Like the number 2, these cards emphasize the quiet strength in collaboration and the subtle wisdom of patience and timing.

THREE

The Creator

Numerology Meaning:

The number 3 is a dynamic, expressive force of creativity and expansion. It’s the fusion of the initial two energies (1 and 2) into a creative whole, representing communication, growth, and joyful expression. Historically, 3 is connected to the principles of birth and development, a number that thrives in social and creative environments, promoting joy and fertility.

Tarot Perspective:

The Threes in the pip cards embody this energy of creation and growth. In Wands, it’s the first steps toward actualizing dreams; in Cups, it’s celebration and community; in Swords, it’s the understanding gained through pain or loss; in Pentacles, it’s teamwork and craftsmanship. Each suit shows how 3 encourages us to move beyond ourselves, combining effort with passion to shape something new.

FOUR

The Foundation

Numerology Meaning:

4 represents stability, structure, and reliability. In numerology, it’s associated with the four elements, directions, and seasons—grounding forces that bring order to life. 4 is practical, focused, and foundational, favoring systems, organization, and discipline.

Tarot Perspective:

The Fours in the pip cards manifest as the foundational aspects of each suit. In Wands, it’s the grounding of achievements; in Cups, it’s emotional stability or contemplation; in Swords, it’s rest and mental recovery; in Pentacles, it’s financial stability or holding on to resources. These cards show how 4’s stability brings a solid base to each element, though it sometimes carries a sense of inertia, requiring a conscious effort to move forward.

FIVE

The Adventurer

Numerology Meaning:

5 is the number of freedom, movement, and change. It introduces the unpredictable, challenging us to adapt and expand our horizons. Historically, 5 symbolizes humanity’s sensory experiences and the drive to explore. It thrives on energy, pushing limits, and living in a space of constant discovery and sometimes disruption.

Tarot Perspective:

The Fives in the pip cards embody this restless and sometimes chaotic energy. They represent conflict (Wands), emotional hardship (Cups), mental challenges (Swords), and financial strain or material lack (Pentacles). Each Five brings tension or discomfort, urging us to confront, question, and adapt. In this way, they reflect 5’s adventurous yet unpredictable spirit, which, while challenging, drives growth and resilience.

SIX

The Nurturer

Numerology Meaning:

6 is harmony, nurturing, and responsibility. It reflects compassion, community, and a balanced home life, often associated with service and love. Historically, 6 has been seen as the number of perfection and balance, promoting healing and relationships.

Tarot Perspective:

The Sixes in the pip cards capture themes of restoration and connection. Wands shows victory and public recognition, Cups delves into nostalgia and shared memories, Swords highlights journeys and transitions, and Pentacles reveals generosity and material support. These cards express 6’s nurturing energy, reminding us to cultivate harmony, support others, and seek peace within and around us.

SEVEN

The Seeker

Numerology Meaning:

7 is introspective, spiritual, and analytical. It represents the quest for deeper understanding and the mysteries of life. Historically revered as a sacred number, 7 embodies wisdom, inner strength, and a desire to understand the hidden truths.

Tarot Perspective:

In the pip cards, the Sevens show moments of introspection and the need to go beyond the surface. The Wands reflect perseverance despite challenges; the Cups present illusions and choices; the Swords show cunning or strategic thinking; the Pentacles emphasize patience and evaluation. Each suit’s Seven prompts us to dig deeper, calling for self-reflection, and urging us to align with our own truth.

EIGHT

The Achiever

Numerology Meaning:

8 is the number of material mastery, strength, and accomplishment. It’s associated with abundance, power, and the balancing of spiritual and material realms. Historically, 8 reflects infinity and the natural cycles of life, emphasizing responsibility and resilience.

Tarot Perspective:

The Eights in the pip cards reveal how each element achieves mastery and balance. In Wands, it’s momentum and fast-moving energy; in Cups, it’s emotional resilience and the courage to leave behind what doesn’t serve; in Swords, it’s mental entrapment that requires strength to overcome; in Pentacles, it’s diligent, focused work. These cards embody 8’s ambitious and disciplined energy, showing how mastery demands persistence and often involves sacrifice.

NINE

The Humanitarian

Numerology Meaning:

9 represents universal love, wisdom, and completion. It carries a sense of fulfillment, reflection, and the giving back of one’s learned insights to others. Historically, 9 has been seen as the number of the elder and the humanitarian, encouraging selflessness and empathy.

Tarot Perspective:

In the pip cards, the Nines reflect both the challenges and fulfillment of completion. Wands depict resilience despite near exhaustion; Cups offer emotional satisfaction and wishes fulfilled; Swords show anxiety and worry; Pentacles celebrate material success and independence. The Nines hold 9’s humanitarian spirit, reminding us to connect deeply with our experiences, learning and growing as we prepare to move forward.

TEN

The Whole

Numerology Meaning:

10 is a number of fulfillment, closure, and the start of a new cycle. It represents both the ending and beginning, incorporating the dynamism of 1 with the boundless nature of 0. Historically, 10 has been the number of the “great wheel,” symbolizing the completion of journeys.

Tarot Perspective:

In the pip cards, the Tens express the culmination of each suit’s journey. The Wands bring the weight of success and responsibility; Cups bring emotional fulfillment within family or community; Swords depict the finality of mental strain; Pentacles reflect the legacy of material wealth and stability. Each card carries the essence of 10 as a cycle that has reached fullness, preparing for a new phase with both the wisdom and challenges of what came before.