#brine-in-my-eyes

[muppet-facts]

trick or treat! (if ur still doing it... eheh)

Treat! The Nine Inch Snails from Muppets Tonight!

[mugenfinder]

eh why not. Trick or treat!

I don't know what I'm giving out until I give it so,

Enjoy

[flowerbarrel-art]

hii i like the fairy drawings youve been making :} where did the triple threat fairies come from?

(Thanks for waiting, sorry I took so long to answer though!) Aww, now I wish fairies had been in West of Loathing instead of just Shadows Over Loathing. They still would’ve been dangerous and violent but it would’ve been cute to see them in teeny cowboy hats like Louie’s. But anyway, yup! You can do that. Have fun with it! 👍

In the game some fairies use melee weapons and Ellie would be one of those (she’d use a mini stop sign if she could). She uses magic but is still pretty strong and trains a lot so she can help defend the colony if any animals find their nests, so she’s pretty muscular and would have a female wrestler body type, like Jazzy Gabert (one of the only wrestlers I know about).

(West of Loathing fairy Ellie)

[barnabybugspeopleonline]

god bless this american soil baranbybugspeopleonline you are doing our country a favor by spreading the word of th aquabats to the best t4t couple tournament on tumblr.com. may your journey be well and healthy. and keep the fight up! american needs you!

signed.

- the president of the whole USA (like all of it)

THE ENTIRE PRESIDENT IT'S AN HONOUR

[fionacle]

i just realized youre the one who uploaded the jerma IM KILLING YOU video clip and also a woy fan so thats just awesome + awesome combined into a person

i enjoy seeing another person who likes both things as well, haha!

hater when wander. or killbot 86 when target

[thehappiestgolucky]

thinking about dragonsplague

[the-terrible-theys]

found a tier list thing for ranking all the wks creature power suit designs and figured it’d be fun :)

tier list maker is linked here if you’re curious

anyway here’s mine!

edit: i keep getting notifs for this so i wanted to add that the tiermaker was done by @/galmiahthepigeon !

[emocatkeith]

*TW: Blood & Mosaic-ed Gore*

so i may have caved in and,,,uh, made a tadc oc lol. was originally going to have one of those "fisher price talking phone" characters but i went with the sea monkey idea instead since i wanted to do a more aquatic themed character

got any questions for zim? ask away! i love answering questions

btw this is what the bottom drawing is referenced off of lol

[deathfeigning]

wormie + photobombs from opal and blink

[ittybittybumblebee]

New Guy could easily a tragic character if you think too long about isome things abt them but Zeyre not theyre genuinly not they could be but. AUGH i fhav a lot of feelings about guy you dont underSTAND shes a cartoon character she operates on funny cartoon character software you cant break him like that you COULD but hes a silly bendy straw you cant unbend it you cantAugh thats not . AUGH AUGH AUGH silly character runnign from everything but is genuinly having fun in life even thought theyr being an asshat and destroying stuff n playing harmful pranks in every town they come to n stuff lmao how canni even begin to convey this you dont GET IT

Its SILLY

SHES a CREEP hes A WEIRDO THEY DONT BELONG HERE

and thats fine By Xer. Completely. They exatterate and draw attention to it in every way possible and its part of its defining qualities that xe celebrate it and are happy in his own freaky way AND

And

And t tthey fucking HATE people they dont like you but if you met it screaming running down the sidewalk she would stop and say HIIIIII GIRLIEPOP DRANK ANY WINDSHEILD FLUID LATELY? YOU FREAKIN SHOULD DUDE ! ITS BONKERS NASTY (GOOD) BYEEEEEEEEEEE

Do you Get me you Cant get me the way i need you to . AUGH

Anyway thats all im going to go have pizza for suppperrrrrrrrr haha lol

* Im screaming at you btw and then turning around and walking away visibly shaking like i have the whole big whide world on my shoulders and its Crushing me to smithereeens

[timeisacephalopod]

I love my mom but sometimes, for lack of a better way to put it, she acts like an entitled boomer. It's already a peeve of mine when people bitch about kids and what they're bitching about is kids doing completely normal, expected shit for kids to do but my mom takes it a step further and implies my nieces doing normal kid idiocy is like a personal failing and ok. Look, my youngest niece is rammy as hell this kid is a bowling ball and she's here to win, but she's seven. I expect seven year olds to be Like That and be empty head no thoughts until they break something, that's normal. No sense in getting pissed off at a seven year old for acting exactly the way you'd expect them to, but the thing that extra pisses me off is that instead of just making peace with this and teaching any of my nieces where they went wrong and how to fix it my mom just kind of expects literal children to be able to just get some verbal feedback and figure it out?? Like come on now, I have 2 siblings surely she should know zero kids are equipped to get not very useful feedback and figure out how to apply it to everything??

My oldest niece gets it the worst and every time my mom says shit about personal responsibility I want to roll my eyes so hard they pack their bags and go on a vacation to Hawaii because my niece is 12 (almost 13)- if she's not taking 'personal responsibility' then someone didn't teach her how to or at least not in a way that stuck and worked for her. It's actually the adults personal responsibility to teach a child how to develop emotional maturity, not for a kid to be grated about all the damn time like any 12 year old is equiped to be The Most Emotionally Mature Ever. Problem being my mom is NOT good at taking feedback on parenting so if I say anything I gotta wrap it up nice and sweet and make sure it comes off almost more like offering advice rather than criticism, which irritates me because "if your so pissed off about this behavior why don't you do something about it and NO not the only thing you've been trying for years and complaining doesn't work because fucking obviously why do I have to explain this to someone who surely knows far more about parenting than I would" is a lot easier than my methods that aren't working any better than my mom's.

[kamitv]

Suguru walking in on you pleasing yourself would probably go something like…

“Well, shit. Didn’t know I had such a slut for a wife,” He’d comment mere seconds after walking in on you.

You’d be laying on your stomach, back arched, knees bent, legs spread, and a hand in between your legs as you fuck a rather lengthy dildo into your sloppy cunt. Your husband, who you weren’t expecting to be home so soon, seems anything but surprised to catch you like this.

If anything, Geto barely tilts his head as he approaches the bed and then cracks a smirk, “Look at this pussy… fuuck, she’s drippin’ all over the place. All because of some stupid toy?” As he makes his comments, he’s unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the side.

“Suguu… S’not ‘cause of the toy,” You huff out with a pout, shamelessly staring at your husband as you continue pleasing yourself. “I missed you.”

“Yeah? Y’Missed me baby?” He’d tease, not even bothering to take his shirt off as he can’t help but reach forward and swat your hand away from the toy stuffed inches inside your cunt. He’d purposefully drag the item out of you, listening to that filthy squelch before brining it to his mouth and licking your taste off. “Mmh. Couldn’t even wait f’me, huh? Were you missin’ me or my cock, princess?”

You let out a heavy sigh and wiggle your hips back a bit, begging for him to give you something-, anything, “Both Suguru.”

“Needy ass girl,” He’d scoff in response.

He’s actually rather kind when he catches you pleasing yourself. Which is how and why you ended up with his cock inside you not too long after he’s come home.

Geto doesn’t really like knowing you were getting off without him but at the same time, something about coming home to you whining his name as you imagined he was fucking you instead of some toy kinda turned him on. He wondered how often you did this kinda thing.

And so he decides to ask you while he’s stuffing your cunt full of his thick cock, “You fantasize about me often, baby?” He hushes out to you, staring so deep into your eyes that it makes you feel embarrassed all over. His tone is so soft and loving with you too that it just makes you shudder beneath him as if he’s not fucking you at such a merciless pace right mow.

All you can do is nod as your jaw hangs open, “Uhuh… mmgh, I-, hah, think about you a-ah, all the t-time, Sugu.” Your words come out in between moans but that only fuels his arousal.

The way his lips curve into that knowing little smirk has your nails scraping against his back before he lets out a low hiss. “Fuck. You imagine my cock’s inside you when m’not even here?” Geto asks rhetorically before shifting his hips and hitting that one mushy spot inside you, “You replay our moments together, huh? Maybe we should record it one time so you have somethin’ better to get off to.”

Your legs squeeze around his waist and he notices your back arching up off of the bed. Geto thrusts in harder and faster, eager to watch your face twist up the same way it was moments ago before he’d caught you— he’d never let you feel that euphoric sensation more with some toy instead of his cock. Not that he’s jealous, of course…

“S-Sugu,” You choke out with how rough his hips grow against yours.

His head tips down into the crook of your neck and you can feel his fat cockhead knocking deeper and deeper into your sopping walls as his strokes become more calculated-, passionate almost. “Mhm, I know baby, I know,” He coos against your skin, his breath hot and tone almost hoarse, “M’right here,” God, his gentleness was a complete contrast to those mean hips of his.

Even the way his hands traced along your arms in search of your hand to grab had you so utterly weak.

“Y’missed this right?” Geto whispers hotly as he shifts his lips up to the crown of your ear, “Missed how I treat this pussy, huh?”

Your neck arches as you toss your head back and you feel his fingers squeeze onto one of your hands whilst he presses it down into the mattress. Moaning quiet little babbles in agreement to his soft-spoken yet lewd words, your cunt gushes around his aching cock, almost invitingly encouraging him to continue talking like that.

And who is he to ignore such encouragement? Pressing against your ear again, he starts fucking you a little slower but noticeably harder, “Agh… Missed you too, pretty girl. Hah, missed how she,” He emphasizes that word with a heavier thrust, “Takes me so fuckin’ well-, shit.”

Then he moans into your ear and you think you cum at the sound alone. So clear and provocative, echoing in your ear and making your mind go blissfully blank. “Ha-ah… ngh, Suguru, I… mmh..” You moan as his cock splits you open so deliciously.

Hell, that’s all you could do. Geto weighs his body down against you, pinning you to the mattress completely as he drags his cock almost all the way out of your twitching pussy just to give you a seconds rest. Not that it really helped as he slipped his dick right back into you, his jaw dropping and a filthy moan leaving his wet lips at the way your cunt feels so utterly soaked and warm wrapped around his cock.

Geto swears he could fuck you like this for hours and hours and hours but he’s too eager to see other things.

“Gonna have t’show me how you fuck yourself one of these days, love.” He huffs out breathlessly between thrusts.

You quickly start shaking your head at that—lost between reaching your high and processing his words, “N-No…”

“No? Oh c’mon,” He puts on this pout to mock you, “You don’t wanna show me? We’re married… I’ve shown you how I touch myself when you’re not around, why can’t you do the same, hm?”

“S’embarrassing…” You mumble with your lower lip poking out so deliciously that it makes your husband smirk.

“Aw, it’s embarrassing?” He teases, “Baby, I like it when you’re embarrassed. Plus, you looked so fuckin’ cute tryin’ to fuck yourself without me. Could’ barely take that piece of plastic ‘nd it’s smaller than my cock.”

“Sugu-“

“M’just sayin’…” He shrugs, “I want you to put on a lil’ show f’me. You can do that can’t you?” You’re shaking your head all over again and he frowns, “No? But baby,” His body presses down against you as if to emphasize his words and you could feel his tip pressing into your sweet spot, “C’mon, don’t make me beg for it.”

“I-I…” You’re left stuttering and moaning as your eyes travel to the back of your skull, “Ah, Suguru-, mgh…”

“Or would you rather me demand it, huh? Should I tell you you’re gonna show me what you were doin’ with that toy before I got here?” Geto pants into your ear, his lips brushing against your warm skin as you nod frantically in response. “Yeahhh? Alright then, gimme one more ‘nd then you’ll put on a lil’ show for me, ‘kay?”

[shycoconutt]

It isn’t until you’re laid out underneath him, face burrowed in Nanami’s neck, hands gripping onto his biceps for dear life as he ruts into you, that you notice it.

Right there, where the peak of his shoulder meets his trap muscle, the pale skin decorated with hundreds of small freckles, appears an unnatural, angry indentation.

As you feel his cockhead ram into your cervix over and over, you fixate on this point, eyes going a tad cross eyed as you process what’s in front of you.

“The sword I carry on my back and my duty as a sorcerer is the cross I choose to bear.”

You don’t notice the small bead of drool that escapes the corner of your mouth, or the way your hand instinctively wraps around from behind his back to press the pad of your middle finger into the small divot.

Your eyes widen and your pussy pulses at the small whimper he gives you in response.

Your touches are light at first, but you need to know more. Holding fully onto his shoulder now, you press two of your fingers firmly into his meaty flesh.

The noise that escapes his mouth in reaction to your touch is uncharted territory. Somewhere between a moan and a cry, Nanami folds you fully into a mating press, snapping his hips into you unrestrained.

You understand completely—the mental, emotional and physical toll his line of work has on his being. He is the strongest man you know, but even he needs support. That is your duty, and you give it your all.

“That’s it, that’s it, Ken,” you coo while wrapping both hands around him, pressing with all your strength into his shoulders as he cries out, “release all your tension. Give everything to me, I can take it.”

It isn’t long until he’s dumping all of his thick seed into you, coating your slick walls. He collapses on top of you, more small spurts escaping in the aftershocks.

Wanting to keep him close, you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his torso, giving his whole body a playful squeeze. His half-hard length remains in you, keeping you plugged with his essence. You can feel the pressure of a small bulge inside your lower tummy. You’re full of him, just how you like.

Nanami softy clears his throat, willing himself to speak.

“Do you, uh, do you mind massaging my shoulders while we lay here? Your touch is heavenly, darling.”

You smile and hum in response, softy beginning to work at him while he shifts lower to take one of your nipples gently in his mouth.

For hours you two lay there while he softy suckles your tits and you relieve any remaining tension in his body. Every once in a while, he slowly grinds his cock into you, brining you both to multiple climaxes over the course of your lazy afternoon together.

[walkeddeath]

"i come from strong stock. my grandmother bounced back from an autopsy."

❝ .... see now like i actually can't tell if you're fuckin' with me or not, 'cause like, somethin' tells me that might actually have happened. do i think it did? no not at all but like... there's a possibility. like i mean, it wouldn't like, surprise me if it did. ❞

[alnilaem]

cw for kidnapping and emotional manipulation

-

Ghost spots a bird across the pub with her wings clipped. She trembles as she watches her friend disappear into the sea of gyrating bodies, holding onto a man she just met and is deciding to abandon her for.

“You don’t mind, right?” Her friend had asked.

She chirped ditheringly. “Um… sure, yeah. You go have fun.”

A fickle smile split her cheeks. A warm wash of liquid glossed her eyes.

Ghost watches her watching her friend. Sadness is written into her features. That type of sadness so deep-seated you feel it crushing your ribs, denting your heart. She sighs and hangs her head, staring down at her drink. Her ice cube has melted, the salt crusting her rim having hardened. Her shoulder start to shake.

Ghost decides it would be remiss of him to not check up on her. The bird with frilly feathers and bent wings, wounded, too feeble to fight back.

He throws back the rest of his drink. He doesn’t wince at the burn, but still, Ghost’s face puckers into something different. Something mean as he approaches her and lays his elbow on the bar’s sticky countertop, splitting his hand across the top of her spine.

“What’s a bird like you doin’ all alone?”

She girdles. It’s like she’s been folded in two and hung out to dry, the way she shrinks into herself and flexes her shoulders.

His words hang stagnant for a few seconds. Perhaps it will make him lose interest and slip away, but Ghost is a persistent one. The badges embroidered into his uniform are a testament to that.

He passes his thumb over her neck. She shivers.

“I… um. Well, my boyfriend’s in the bathroom.”

Ghost almost chuckles. The bird says it with such skittish conviction that surely, not even she believes it.

He grunts. “It’s rude to lie, y’know.”

She gulps. “My friend’s with me.”

“The one that just left you?” He asks. “A pretty shit friend, if you ask me. A bird like you deserves someone better.”

She purses her lips because they begin to quiver. She tries shouldering him away, tries blinking back the fat tears of brine that threaten to thaw and slip down her cheek. Her voice is distorted with discomfort and self-pity when she replies, “That’s stupid. I just want her to be happy.”

“And her?” Ghost prompts. He distracts her with his rough lilt as he slips his hand low, into the divot between her ass and waist. “How often does she fuck off with the men you fancy?“

She flinches. It’s the sudden recoil of her muscles, and her mind’s attempt at getting away from him.

“I-it’s not like that.”

“Yeah?” He asks. “It’s not like she leaves you alone every time you go out, lookin’ like a dolt when she finds someone more fun?”

She swallows thickly. Her lips warble around her next words. “… Sometimes, I guess.”

Ghost’s cock jumps. The fat mass pushes against his jeans, angled towards her.

“Yeah,” he croons. “I know how hard it can be. Why don’t you come over to my flat, huh? Give ‘er a taste of her own medicine.”

She inches away. Ghost only holds her tighter, gripping that broken little wing of hers and doting on it.

“I don’t… do that stuff. Sorry.”

Something primal in Ghost barks. That stuff. She’s never taken dick? Or never taken dick from a stranger? Either way, Ghost’s cock stirs and starts drooling on his thigh. She can probably see it. That blotchy stain on his jeans under the mellow lighting.

“I play nice, bird,” he mutters. “And wouldn’t it be nice to get back at them? Your mate? All those blokes who ignored you?”

She squeezes her thighs when Ghost settles his hand on her ass. She has trouble pulling them back apart, her thighs that is, as they’re adhered with slick.

“I asked you a question. Wouldn’t it be nice?”

“I guess so…” she whimpers. Keening into Ghost’s whispering touch, the heat of his cock.

He pulls a wad of cash from his pocket and slams it onto the table. He stands up, looking something like a predator on its hind legs, and pulls her from the barstool.

“Let’s go, pretty bird,” he leashes his hand around the base of her neck, leading her outside and into his rust-spattered truck. “You deserve it.”

A stroke of heat licks up her innards. She’s already dazed by the time she’s in his truck, preening as he splits his hand across her leg and digs divots into her thigh, kneading her supple flesh. She’s bleary eyes and impaired on arousal as they drive past the city’s margins and into the outback, the roads turning pebbled.

She’s too excited, too sweet to heed Ghost pulling her out of his truck and hauling her into a neglected flat.

She only feels his hands on her, big and warm. And the cool carbon steel of handcuffs locking around her ankle.

She smiles.

[wcters]

𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗡 𝗢𝗨𝗧

pairing: lando norris x fem!driver!reader

word count: 1.2k+

summary: your boyfriend is there as you crash out in a race

warnings: pda, some swearing, injury mentions, protective lando, i guessed on some stuff | i do not know how certain things work in f1 so if i messed that up i am sorry 😚😔

Your pre-race playlist filled your ears as you leaned the side of your body against the wall of the track barrier. Even though you’d done this so many times before, it doesn’t lessen the nerves in your body. It wasn’t even your first time on this track, yet it had you picking the skin off you fingers as you zoned out.

You were pulled out as someone came up behind you and wrapped their arms around your waist, grabbing your hands and holding them in theirs. You knew who it was right when you saw their hands. You looked behind you to see your boyfriend. You freed your hand from one of Lando’s and took out an earbud. “Stop picking.” Is the first thing you heard out of him.

“Sorry,” you replied as you took the hand still holding his and brining it up to your mouth and kissed his knuckles, “just nervous.” He smiled softly at you and turned you around to pull you into his chest. “I know, but you’re going to do great.” “So I guess you see the future now, yeah?” You joked. He shrugged his shoulders, “one of my many talents.” “Sure.”

Lando had come to see you race because it was the one race that didn’t take place at the same time as his did. The Bahrain Grand Prix had just taken place about three days before. He had taken a day to himself before he came and joined you in Jeddah. It was challenging with both of your schedules but you made it work, you always did. You both knew the risks and the troubles of two F1 drivers dating, and you both were prepared.

He poked your cheek. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” He asked you. “Yeah. Just have a feeling something will go wrong today.” You said lowly as you looked at the cars on the track. “You’ll be fine, y/n. You’ve had this before and nothing happened.” You nodded into his chest as you breathed in and out. Right as you pulled away your race engineer came up to you and told you it was time. Lando kissed you and wished you good luck as you handed him your phone and earbuds and put your mask and helmet on.

Time passed quickly ━━ probably because of the adrenaline ━━ and before you knew it you were in your car watching the lights. Your hands felt sweaty under your gloves as you didn’t dare to blink. You didn’t want to miss it. As the lights went out, your car came to life and you sped ahead. That feeling of something going wrong was still there but you tried to shake it off and focus on the race.

Lando was in the garage with your engineer and mechanics, eyes peeled on the screen. He noticed how shaken up you were and he was worried. Like he said to you, you’d felt this before but this time he could tell something about it was different. His hands were shaking as he kept his eyes on you and talked to your engineer to try to calm himself down.

Your voice interrupted his senses as he watched you enter your 24th lap. “Somethings up with the tires, I’m getting no grip.” His eyes flicked to the man beside him. “Noted. See if you can hold on a little longer.” Your engineer’s voice filled your ears. “Got it.” Lando was left alone after that as your engineer got up to talk to the mechanics.

When the big screen showed your car, Lando got worried. He saw how little traction your tires had and how you were slipping on your turns. He could hear the commentators voice as well commenting on that as you finish the 27th turn and get ready to start your 25th lap.

As he watched you speed up the track, he didn’t even notice until after it happened. As you tried to turn on the first turn, you tires skidded across the track and you couldn’t complete the second turn, causing your car to crash into the barrier. It didn’t look too bad, but all Lando could hear was silence and all he could think about is if you were okay.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Your engineers voice cut into the silence of the radio. He got even more worried when you didn’t answer. “Y/n? Baby?” Lando asked into the headset. More silence. He turned around to see if anyone knew what was happening until he finally heard your voice.

“Doing great.” You grunted. “Nothings broken ━━ I don’t think ━━ but my side does hurt. I think I might’ve bruised it when I hit the barrier.” Lando sighed it relief. He was right, it wasn’t too bad. Nothing was broken and you thought it was just a bruise.

“The safety car’s been deployed and it heading your way. Don’t go running anywhere.” You engineer instructed you. “Not going anywhere,” you joked with a light laugh before a hiss came out. With only some trouble you eventually made it out of the car and sat against the barrier to wait for the safety car. You could tell that Lando was worried by the sound of his voice . . . and because you know him. You and him were on the same wavelength, if you could describe it in any way. You felt things the same, and because of that you knew how the other was feeling. You felt the same when he crashed in the Las Vegas GP. It was almost the same too, you spinning out and hitting the barrier. It was entirely coincidental.

You sighed in relief when you saw the safety car ━━ you were ready to get out of there. Your side hurt like a bitch, way more than it did before, and your legs were starting to get tingly. The adrenaline must be wearing out. Lando never turned his gaze away from the screen as they put you in the safety car. He knew you were in good hands, but it ultimately didn’t matter to him. Anything could go wrong.

Lando was right beside you when you got out of the safety car and taken to the doctors on site before you were taken to the hospital. As you were in getting checked out the the doctors, Lando was rambling. “They should’ve taken you off the tires when you told them. They should’ve taken it more seriously. If they had then ━━“ You interrupted him by putting your hand over the one that was holding yours. “It’s fine. If I had felt more nervous I would’ve boxed anyway. Plus, Will would’ve done the same and you would be acting like me. It’s not their fault.”

He sighed, and you knew he knew that you were right. “I know, I just worry.” You kissed his hand, “I know you do. And I do too when the same things happen to you. But I’m fine. They’ll take me to the hospital where they’ll double check I have no injuries. If it makes you feel better I’ll even let you check.” You joked. He laughed and shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

The doctors eventually told you that you were good to go to the hospital. Nothing looked too bad, but it was standard procedure. You sat up with a groan and Lando immediately made a face. You shot him a look. “C’mon, I’m fine.” He didn’t agree. You rolled your eyes. “Let’s go, you’re coming with me to the ambulance. Maybe they’ll let you turn on the sirens.”