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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Kids Have Terrible Timing (Biadore) - Sarcastacnt

Summary; One of Roy and Danny’s two daughters has a tendency to get over excited at the smallest things and at the worst possible time for her fathers.

“We can always return her right?”

“See, this is what happens when we trust your genes. Let’s take a second to notice how the spawn with my genes is basically a Saint compared to her sister.”

Danny pulled a face and whacked Roy with a pillow. “Not what you said when she ruin, how many of your gowns was it again? 9?”

“It was 15 and you know it.” Roy grumbled still puzzled at how the then five year old Sabrina had gotten a hold of the gowns, let alone figured out how to work his sewing machine. Something that still eluded Danny.

“Let’s just agree that they’re both evil in their own special ways.” Danny offered, trying desperately not to laugh at the pained expression on Roy’s face.

Roy snorted, “Not much longer until they go through puberty. That’s when we cash in all those offers to babysit from Shane.”

Danny groaned and flopped down dramatically against the bed. “Two teenage girls in one house. What the fuck were we thinking?”

Roy shrugged, “Probably that at least one of them would be a boy.”

Danny laughed, “At least then they wouldn’t bug to borrow our drag. Well, your drag.”

Roy laughed at the memory of the two dark haired girls gasping in disbelief at the room full of princess gowns and lumberjack clothing. “Still can’t believe how good that read was, fucking lumberjack.” He was still snickering when Danny decided he was no longer comfortable laying on the bed.

With a surge of power from his left leg he moved to straddle Roy’s hips. “You’re the one who married a lumberjack Haylock.”

Roy automatically dropped his hands to rest on Danny’s thighs. “You married a princess, least I’m still gay in this version of reality.”

Danny snorted, “Whatever, that makes you a princess, least I’m still a man.” He leaned forward and licked Roy’s neck before whispering in his ear. “Although every single time I’ve fucked you while you were dressed as a princess was hot as hell. You really should let me fuck you in drag more often.”

Roy let out a groan as Danny squirmed on his lap. “Why would I put a bunch of clothes on for sex? Doesn’t being naked make everyone’s lives easier?”

Danny began kissing Roy’s jaw, taking a familiar path down to the collar of Roy’s shirt. “I meant when we preform asshole.” He said as he started to work the buttons of Roy’s shirt open.

Roy rolled his eyes, “Because normally after we preform you’re so fucking horny that you beg to get fucked.” Roy brought both hands crashing down on Danny’s ass, “Remember?”

Danny started to kiss his way down Roy’s chest now that the button down was pushed open. “Fuck yeah I do.” He looked up at Roy, eyes gone a little glassy with arousal. “Speaking of which, it’s been quiet for almost an hour. We should probably take advantage while we can.”

Roy chuckled and began to tug at Danny’s shirt. “You’re absolutely right.” When Danny didn’t move to remove his shirt quick enough, Roy rolled them so he was on top. He quickly pulled off the light sleep pants Danny wore and began stroking the already half hard cock. “Doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?” he teased before taking Danny’s erection into his mouth.

“Never has.” Danny admitted before groaning at the very talented tongue that was quickly turning his brain to mush.

Roy held out his hand, without stopping the blow job and Danny reached blindly for the small bottle of lube on the nightstand. He pushed it into Roy’s hand before letting his head fall back against the pillows.

Wasting no time, Roy lubed up two fingers and pressed them into Danny. It only took a few thrusts before Danny was demanding that Roy ‘stop fucking around and put your dick in me!’. With such a sweet request, how could Roy refuse? He pushed his own sleep pants down and lubed up his erection before taking a second to tease Danny’s entrance.

“Fuck me Roy!” Danny demanded, his hips lifting off the bed in frustration.

“Fine, but next time we have time I’m gonna make you pay for being an Impatient bitch.” Roy said as he grabbed Danny’s hips and started to push himself inside-

“DADDY!!!”

*CRASH, SLAM, BANG*

Roy didn’t know how he did it but somehow he got both of them covered up under the blanket before 6 year old Stevie managed to scramble up on the bed.

“Stevie remember how we talked about knocking? And you’re not listening to me at all, are you?” Roy sighed as he swung his legs over the far side of the bed and pulled his pants up. Danny had no chance to pull anything on, Stevie was not only on the bed but sitting happily on Danny’s stomach.

“Daddy! I found something cool! You gotta come see this!” the little girl had a big grin on her face as she waved her hands in the air. Stevie’s grin was an exact match for Danny’s (pre lip injections, of course). In fact Stevie was the spitting image of Adore, especially on the odd occasion her fathers put her in make up. Not only was the physical resemblance strong but both Stevie and Danny were two of the loudest people Roy had ever met.

A quiet knock at the open door caught Roy’s attention. He looked up to see blue eyed eight year old Sabrina shaking her head in exasperation. “Sorry dad, I tried to remind her to knock but…” she trailed off with a shrug, gesturing to the excited noises coming from the bed as Stevie and Danny talked about something Roy couldn’t quite catch.

Roy chuckled, “It’s okay, I understand my love. What were you two doing anyways? I thought we said goodnight an hour ago.”

Sabrina walked around the bed, giving it a wide berth. She had walked too close to the bed once during a similar situation just in time for Stevie to launch herself off the bed (much to her fathers horror) and land on not only her feet but her sister’s as well. “I showed her a book.”

Roy ached an eyebrow, “Why is she so excited about a book.”

Sabrina made a huffing noise as she crawled up on the bed to sit next to Roy. “There were no pictures in it.”

“You’re telling me your sister is losing her mind over a book, without pictures?” Roy could feel his eye start twitching.

Sabrina nodded, “Are you sure she’s really my sister?” she eyed Roy suspiciously.

Roy sighed, they had this conversation every few weeks. “Yes Rini, you both have the same mother, remember?” Roy remembered the initial thrill when they discovered that the surrogate they had used for Sabrina was more then happy to take on another pregnancy for the pair when they decided to expand their family a year and a half later.

“Are you really sure? Did you check?” Sabrina grilled her father as she watched Stevie and Danny (who had managed to pull pants on while he was distracted with Sabrina) rush out of the room to get a look at this ‘amazing book’ that Stevie had discovered.

“Yes Rini I’m a hundred percent sure she’s your sister. Besides she acts just like Dad, doesn’t she? I promise she’s part of this family.”

Sabrina frowned, “Whatever. I’m gonna go make sure they don’t break my stuff.” She hopped off the bed, her long twin braids floating behind her as she stormed off after them.

Roy fell back into bed and began laughing uncontrollably. He had no idea which part of the last five minutes he found so funny. The interrupted sex, Stevie’s excitement over a book without pictures or Sabrina’s continued irritation that her sister was insane.

Tears were streaming down his face, high pitched giggles still escaping him and abdominal muscles cramping when Danny returned.

“She’s nuts.” Danny proclaimed as he flopped down next to Roy.

A minute later, Roy managed to get his laughter under control. “Was she really that excited over a book with no pictures?”

Danny nodded, eyes wide in disbelief. “War and Peace! I didn’t know books could get that big! That shit’s more complicated then anything I ever read!”

Roy nodded, “Katya was reading it last time her and Trixie were over with their hellspawns. She probably forgot it here.” They almost always used drag names when referring to Brian and Brian just to save themselves the confusion.

Danny snorted, “Least we had time to breathe between kids. I don’t know how they managed 3 at once! Like who even has triplets?”

“Trixie and Katya do, poor bastards. If two teenage girls seems like a nightmare waiting to happen, imagine three hormonal teenage boys. The structural damage alone may just bankrupt them! If those two weren’t bald already that’s what would finally do it. Trying to figure out how much to add to the budget for household repairs every week.” Roy mused, choosing to ignore the fact that while he and Danny did in fact have one less kid, one of said kids shared genetic material with Danny. Roy hoped, not for the first time that Stevie calmed down as she got older. Last thing he needed was one of his daughters proudly proclaiming to be a ‘messy slut’. The thought of the generally sweet (if loud) Stevie strutting around in a mini skirt and low cut shirt made Roy shiver in fear.

“We’re never gonna have sex again, are we?” Danny half heartedly complained, lacing his fingers with Roy’s as they looked at each other with tired smiles on their faces.

Roy released Danny’s hand and rolled so he was on top of his husband. “So dramatic.” Roy teased as he captured Danny’s lips in a breath taking kiss.

It wasn’t long before Danny was a moaning, begging mess under him. Roy sighed in relief as he entered Danny roughly, rather pleased with himself for the broken sound that tore itself from Danny’s lips.

“DADDY!!!!”

“I’m taking her back!” Danny proclaimed loudly as Roy pulled away from him and managed to get their pants back on before Stevie came flying into their room again. This time she was screaming something about the ‘coolest bug ever!

Wasn’t parenting fun?

A/N Thank you to the annon who requested a kid fic where Roy and Danny keep getting interrupted. Swore I’d never write one of these but hey, here we are! I’m also tempted to continue this but for the moment it stands alone.

The girls names; Stevie is named for Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame and Sabrina is name for an alternative name for a boat neck collar. I know nothing about fashion so that’s what a quick Google search pulled up.

As for the teasing each other about which kid has which genes, it doesn’t mean they love either kid less then the other. I think most parents like to harass their partner about who is responsible for which less desirable trait their off spring demonstrates. Like when Sarabi says to Mufasa in The Lion King “Before sunrise, he’s your son.”

#rpdr fanfiction #biadore #adore delano #bianca del rio #canon compliant #parenting au #kid fic #married #fluff #almost smut #request fic #sarcastacnt

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iwillsithereandtrytocontribute · 4 years ago

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No Happy Ending

Masterlist Ao3

Pairings: Implied Lyfrassir Edda/Marius Von Raum

Warnings: Major character death, Mechanisms-typical threatened violence, Coughing blood, Thoughts of suicide,

Don’t worry, I don’t describe the death in a ton of detail, but be warned.

This is my first fic for the Mechanisms fandom. I was listening to The Bifrost Incident again and thought "Hey I've seen a bunch of content where Lyf survives and meets/joins the Mechanisms. What if they didn't survive?" And because I had to deal with that thought (it's a Mechanisms album let's be real) now you get an hour's worth of straight stream of consciousness. Enjoy! :)

“Log of Lyfrassir Edda Inspector- oh that doesn’t matter anymore I suppose. Just Lyf then if anyone actually listens to these when I’m gone.” Lyf coughed wetly into their hand and stared somewhat disinterestedly at the blood that splattered across it. They took a moment to catch their breath. “This will be my final entry I imagine. None of the ship’s functions have worked correctly in weeks.

“First it was the-” they were cut off by a sudden blur in their vision. It took a moment for Lyf to realize they were still holding the recorder. “The navigation systems went down first, then one by one various systems shut down or broke. I am nearly out of food and water and the oxygen pumps stopped almost an hour ago.”

Lyf stared at their hands, shaking and covered in their own blood. “I know I was touched by the outer gods. Even I wasn’t fast enough to escape their grasp completely. But I know they will not save me. I wouldn’t want them to if they could. Perhaps in a moment of weakness I would fall to them as Odin did, but here in the cold of space I don’t even have the option. It’s for the best.”

They gazed at the sputtering lights around them, the broken gauges and stuck knobs. They had been tempted just to end it many times, but something always stopped them. If Lyf had been more foolish or perhaps just slightly less stern they might have called it hope. Hope that they could flee and survive. That they could take advantage of the gift Loki and Sigyn had given the Yggdrasil System with their lives. But they were austere as ever and chalked up their perseverance to nothing but fear of dying.

And Lyf was afraid to die. Even here, even now, as they felt the end approaching as they had for weeks now. They were afraid. They realized the log was still running. They might as well spend their last hours leaving something to be remembered by.

“The recordings of my findings and the events of the Bifrost incident are all here. You may even have listened to them if you’re listening to this. I sincerely doubt there will be anything left of my home system, not after what Odin released there. They might even leave there one day, consume the rest of everything. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be long dead.” Lyf laughed. A short bitter laugh that turned into another wracking cough.

“I didn’t have much on Asgard to be perfectly honest. No family to speak of, few friends. The one constant I had were those blasted Mechanisms. I suppose they’re the reason I lasted long enough to make it all the way out here instead of being trapped in that psychedelic hellscape. They’re the reason I asked for a transfer from the prison to transport police. The amount of violins I confiscated from Marius,” Lyf said as an afterthought.

“They always disappeared not long after I left them. I guess Von Raum and the others could always have escaped. They must have wanted another story .” Lyf put more malice in their voice than they felt. It was hard to feel real anger towards the Mechanisms, other than maybe Jonny. He was a piece of work, Lyf thought with a grimace. Jonny had taken the longest to capture and the most work to contain and recapture. Everyone knew- had known someone who’d been killed or injured by Jonny d’Ville. Lyf couldn’t say they had any love for the man.

Ivy, they could respect. She was incredibly logical in a way they found endearing. Raphaella la Cognizi scared them. True, Lyf had a ton of respect for her, but she was the closest thing they had ever known to a mad scientist before Odin. Brian was nice, as was Marius when he wasn’t being an idiot. Lyf had only called him Von Raum to annoy him, so Marius had responded in kind. A smile tugged at the edges of Lyf’s lips even as they struggled with each breath they took. Ashes and Tim scared him the normal way. The “We will destroy everyone and everything you love with a smile if you wrong us” way. Stay on their good side, and they’re nice enough. And the Toy Soldier… Lyf didn’t like thinking about the Toy Soldier. It unsettled them.

Lyf wasn’t sure how much of that they’d said aloud, if they had said any of it. Oxygen deprivation was really getting to them. They gave a tired smirk at the monitor above them as if any of the cameras still worked. “If the Mechanisms ever get ahold of these my message to you is; fuck you ,” they said with feeling, before doubling over in another coughing fit.

“I don’t have much-any time left,” Lyf rasped. “I-I Lyfrassir Edda signing off for what is likely the last time.”

They clicked off the recorder and set it down on the table by the chair they were sitting in, next to a small pile of similar recorders. Lyf took the deepest breath their air-deprived lungs would allow and closed their eyes.

In the greatest mercy the universe would ever bestow upon Lyfrassir Edda, it allowed them to die in their sleep. One might even have been able to call it peaceful.

Drumbot Brian stood on the bridge trying to puzzle out where that beeping was coming from. Nastya had added a lot of systems to Aurora before she left and well… Brian hadn’t had nearly long enough to learn them all. Finally he managed to find it. Ah a radar… thingy. He wasn’t really a pilot. Why was he the pilot? He would be much better as the doctor seeing as resurrection was his thing. Brian made a note to bring it up with Jonny or maybe Ashes seeing as they were the quartermaster (not that they ever did any quartermaster-like duties). The increase in beeping brought Brian out of his thoughts. That looked like a ship. Floating in the middle of nowhere?

Brian shrugged and left to go find Jonny. He always threw a fuss if he wasn’t the first one notified of anything and Jonny throwing a fuss generally led to him quite literally shooting the messenger. Brian didn’t much feel like dying today.

He found Jonny in the library, which was strange. He typically avoided books like a plague and Ivy hated having Jonny in there. Jonny gestured Brian over as soon as he saw him.

“Come on. Come on ,” Jonny whispered furiously as Brian took his time walking to him.

“Who are you hiding from this time?” Brian asked loudly. Jonny glared daggers at him. Ah well, he was starting to think antagonizing Jonny today would be worth getting shot.

“Ashes. I might have stolen their favorite hat.”

“So you’re hiding in the library.”

Jonny gave Brian a knowing look. A look that made Brian wish he had the eyebrows to express his disdain, because that look said that Jonny thought he was doing something really clever. 8 times out of 10 he was wrong and the other 2 times ended up with someone dying. “Exactly. Ashes is banned from the library, too much flammable materials or something or other.”

“That’s why you’re banned from the library too.”

“Exactly why it’s the best hiding spot.” Jonny peeked around the corner at the sound of footsteps outside, hand over the gun at his side. He caught a glimpse of Raphaella’s wings as she passed the open doorway.

In the split second Jonny was turned away, and therefore less distracting, Brain remembered he had for once actually been looking for Jonny. And that it might be somewhat urgent. Oops.

“Uh Jonny?”

“Uh-huh. What?” Jonny wasn’t paying attention to him.

“There’s a transport ship outside.”

That got Jonny’s attention. “Any idea who?” he asked with a grin that meant he was in the mood to shoot someone. Brian shrugged inwardly, as long as that person wasn’t him.

“No clue. Looks familiar, but I can’t place it.”

“Lovely.” Fight with Ashes forgotten, Jonny strode out of the library whistling Tales to Be Told and Brian walking just behind him.

They arrived at the bridge to find the ship had drifted even closer, or maybe the Aurora had gotten closer, it was hard to tell. Jonny studied it for a long time before snapping his fingers a couple times as he tried to remember where he remembered it from.

“That’s from As-as something.”

“Asgard?” Brian asked. Jonny nodded.

“That’s the one.” He put his foot up on Brian’s chair and rested his elbow on his knee. “Wonder what it’s doing he- Hey Brian, when are we in relation to the whole Yggdrasil system collapse thing. The Bifrost Incident? We were going to make a new album out of that story right?”

Brian checked one of the monitors, halfway surprised that Johnny remembered the Yggdrasil System. Although, to be fair, they’d been there for almost a century and even he couldn’t be drunk the entire time (events 300 or so years in the future ago were outliers and so could not be counted).

“We’re a couple months after. Why? You think someone escaped the train?”

Jonny shrugged. “No idea, but we might as well get the rest of the crew up here.” He turned and pressed a couple buttons until he found the comms. “Crew of the Aurora,” he exclaimed with his usual gusto, “this is your Captain speaking.”

“FIRST MATE!” They heard Tim scream at the top of his lungs from the armory. The armory wasn’t too far from the bridge and damn could Tim scream.

“ Captain. We’ve found something rather interesting, a transport vessel from the Yggdrasil System. If anyone would like to come with us to take a look get up to the bridge. You have five minutes.” Jonny poked a couple more buttons until it seemed like the comms had shut off.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Tim, Marius, Ashes, and the Toy Soldier.

“We didn’t invite you,” Jonny sneered at the Toy Soldier.

“I’m just happy to be included!” the Toy Soldier said happily, oblivious as ever. Johnny rolled his eyes.

“Right. Can we dock it or something?” Ashes asked, leaning on the door-frame with their hands in the pockets.

“Aurora?” Brian asked tentatively. The Aurora was unreliable at the best of times and now that the only person she would always listen to was gone, she was testier than she’d ever been. Still, they heard the satisfying clunk and hiss of the airlocks attaching and sealing. The doors slid open to reveal a small ship.

Close as they were, it was clearly Asgardian design, all sleek edges and intricate grooves. For a transport vessel, it was decent quality although obviously not built for the kind of travel it had been doing. Jonny stepped in first. Well… his gun went in first while the rest of him followed. The Toy Soldier trotted in behind him and the rest followed in a sort of amorphous blob.

There was just enough space for the 6 of them to fit in the largest of the two rooms. Everywhere they looked was broken equipment, a frankly impressive array of destruction for this thing to have gotten as far as it had when it wasn’t built for out-of-system travel.

“There’s no way anyone from that system could have survived this much system failure,” Brian whispered as if the likely dead person in the other room could hear them.

“They could have been, what was it? ‘Touched by the outer gods?’” Jonny asked.

“Who came up with that line?” Ashes snorted.

“Me,” Marius said distractedly as he moved towards the table by the door. There was a small mound of recorders on it. He pressed play on one of them. The sudden sound made everyone jump. Then they heard it.

“Log of Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda New Midgard Transport Police. I was able to barter for a transport ship. I’ve spent most of my savings on this, food, water, and fuel. I have some left over that will hopefully last me until I can find work in another system. Already things have begun going wrong. I brought my recordings of the Bifrost incident with me, I don’t think anyone will believe if I didn’t, and attached to the last one are some messages we’ve been receiving on various frequencies from everywhere in the system.

I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. I just left a copy of the recordings and got out of there as quickly as possible. I think I escaped the worst of it, though the nightmares I’ve been having are certainly nothing of this world.

If I don’t stop, I might survive this. I might survive this.

Log ends.”

The Mechs stared at each other for a moment before Marius shoved his way forward and thrust open the door. In the pilot’s seat sat Lyf, their eyes closed, blood spattered about the small room. Their uniform was long past wrinkled and blood-stained. Their dark skin was the palest Marius had ever seen from them.

Marius had seen war. He had been through horrors, and committed such atrocities in kind. He had thought that his many centuries of mechanization would have made him desensitized to death by now, and it had. But it was so much easier to come to terms with Lyf’s death when they weren’t laying in front of him, covered in their own blood. This touched him deeply, in a way he couldn’t remember feeling before.

He didn’t remember walking to the medical bay, but he must have because here he was. Lyf lay on the table that they usually put their dead crewmates on to wait for the resurrection process, but there would be no resurrection process.

Raphaella had come in sometime during the time Marius had been in there and given her verdict. Lyf could not be mechanized. They had been dead too long and even if they hadn’t been, the touch of the outer gods would not have allowed for mechanization.

And Marius was alone again.

Alone with a corpse that would never walk again. That would never tell him, and Marius smiled slightly at the memory, to shut the fuck up and put the goddamn violin away, again. Lyfrassir Edda was gone. For good.

They listened to the tapes. All of them. All of the Mechanisms had known Lyf and most of them had even liked them. Besides, they weren’t entirely cruel and oblivious. They knew this was something Marius needed. Not to mention it helped with the whole album-writing part of their gig.

Marius listened to those tapes. He listened to them over and over again until he had them memorized. Well, except for the final recording. It hurt too much to listen to it more than once.

Marius always had the one of them that approached immortality with the most skepticism of the Mechanisms. How disappointing that he had been right.

Let me know what you think! If you like to be tagged in other works in this fandom (or others) or have any questions my inbox is open. Stay safe! :)

#the mechs #the mechanisms #lyfrassir edda #drumbot brian #marius von raum #ivy alexandria #raphaella la cognizi #gunpowder tim #ashes o'reilly #the toy soldier #the bifrost incident #jasper writes #jonny d'ville

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years ago

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Guardian of creatures; AU! Queen x oc female x reader Chap. 7.1

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well do I have an update for you now this chapter is PRETTY LONG so I apologize in advance, which is why this chapter has been broken up into 2 parts. Now I would like to thank some users who have helped me with the face cast decision in each of the family members and I think it’s safe to say for certain characters some of you will already get (hehehe). Now like I said this is a lot because it contains background info on our two main leads John and Serafina and now for the warnings.

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, child abuse (WHICH I THINK IS VILE which is why I’ve put a trigger warning in my taglist below so anyone with that blocked from their suggestions may not be able to read this chapter).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@queen-paladin

@dancingcoolcat

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@kinole009x

@wormzteef

___________________________________________________________

Chapter 7

The truth of Serafina Black and John Deacon

*May 28th. Nighttime 3rd Person POV*

It was a full moon tonight; the spring wind softly blew against the trees outside and across the grand lake which rippled in the wind’s direction. Inside the manor however was a different story.

At around 1:30am, the walls began to tremble, almost as if it were crying. The moving pictures soon became fearful as they felt their portrait homes shaking with the walls. The wooden snake décor along the stairs was now hiding itself down on the ground trembling in fear. The lights soon came on one by one down a certain hallway and a long snake like tail slowly slithered down the hallway.

Freddie had come up from the basement, sensing and knowing just exactly what was behind the house acting like this, especially since this wasn’t the first time to happen. He slowly continued down the hallway and faint whispers from the pictures began to echo out.

“Back to bed. All of you. Stop gawking and back to bed. Come on now back to bed.” He told the pictures as he slithered past them till he saw Brian standing at the last door. When the Naga now stood beside the Elf lord, Brian opened the door and inside they saw the culprit behind the house’s anxiety.

Lying in her bed was Serafina, tossing and turning as her whole body was caked in sweat. Whimpering frightenedly like a lost puppy.

“This is the worst I’ve seen her.” Brian whispered softly.

“It’s another big milestone this year Brian. Those are always the hardest for her.” Freddie merely replied. “As always do not let John come into this room, and also keep our Knight away from this wing. They don’t need to see her like this.” Freddie soon slithered into the master bedroom of John and Serafina.

When the tip of his tail entered the room, Brian closed the door and stood guard of it.

Inside the dark bedroom, Freddie slowly slithered towards Serafina, all the while looking at the walls as they began to burn and boil up like sores.

He then stared at the young witch who was still tossing and turning, trapped in her own mind like a caged animal. His forked tongue tasting the air as he could literally taste the heat in the room as well as Serafina’s fear and anxiety rising higher than he ever saw before.

When he got right up to her bed, his hand slowly reached out for her and as he touched her wrist, he was suddenly hit with a vision. All around him he saw nothing but fire. A blazing hot fire surrounding a cozy little home.

He also heard various levels of screaming. Ranging from ages of either a full grown men, women, young adult men and even small children. They were filled with nothing but pain and sorrow.

Flashes of green lights also shot up at him and Freddie knew all to well just what that green light meant.

As Serafina kept whimpering and panting away, Freddie tried to call out to her trying to get her to snap out of her nightmare. Then with one final call, he managed to get Serafina to wake up and the both of them were now gasping for air. Freddie lying across Serafina’s legs exhausted from the vision he had seen while she looked up and saw Freddie lying before her.

“I—I s-saw it. I could…..feel their pain…….hear their screaming.” She choked out frightenedly. Freddie composed himself and stood beside her.

“It was only a dream.”

“No. It was a memory. Like your visions I—could see everything. Feel. Everything.”

“Visions like mine have dire consequences. Now you are indeed the most powerful witch I have ever known, your powers of the mind alone can convince anyone—”

“No Freddie it’s not my powers, I know what it is. Just like last year these memories continue to burn into my brain. And they’re getting worse!” she pleaded to the Naga. “I thought the Hydra test cured me of this.”

“It did. Instead of degrading yourself with your guilt every day you’ve only resorted to doing it once a year. And you know it wasn’t you’re……”

“You don’t know what it’s like to be the last of your family by murder! To know that you were forced to stay alive while your own family dies!”

“Actually, I do.” Freddie told her in a low, serious but velvet-like voice. The young witch looked at the Naga as he continued, “For the very same bloodline that took your family away from you, took mine as well. One man, slaughtered my entire race. And I was forced to live with that.”

Serafina’s eyes filled with tears as she lay back down, her back facing Freddie and her hand clenching her pillow.

“I should never have let John take me away from home.” She whimpered out as tears dripped down her face. There was a moment of silence in the room, except for the faint sobs that came out of Serafina’s lips. She soon felt coils beginning to wrap around her. She was taken out from her blanket and soon found herself wrapped up in Freddie’s coil.

Instead of squeezing her nearly to death like he’s done to millions of others in the past, he kept a comforting embrace around her as he now wrapped his arms around her. Holding her like a parent holds a crying child. Looking down at her, he could see that she had now mentally reverted to the frightened child she once was when she first had to deal with this.

“Being the last of your family is a lonely, dark path.” He gently cupped the side of her face while the tip of his tail tucked the strands of hair that stuck to her face out of her eyes. “You will learn why it was you that survived. And when you do……you will know peacccce.”

She looked up at Freddie and saw as his eyes began to shift in a hypnotic pattern.

“You can mourn in the morning. For now, ssssshhhut your eyes. Ssssslip into sssilent ssslumber.” her eyes slowly began drooping tiredly as she couldn’t look away from Freddie’s gaze. Finally her eyes shut and the house was now at ease.

Freddie kept her in his coils for the rest of the night and stood guard over his young red witch. He looked out of the balcony up to the stars and for the first time in what felt like eons, a single tear slipped down Freddie’s face as he stared at a specific constellation in the sky.

*2nd Person POV. The next morning*

After you wake up and make up the bed, you walk down the stairs to see that for the first time since you moved in, breakfast hadn’t been made. In fact no one was in the kitchen.

“Serafina? John?” you walk through the house but in each room you could see that no one was there. “Hello?” you then go out into the backyard. Thinking that maybe they could be in the gardens, after all it was a beautiful day today for gardening.

“(Y/n)?” you turn around and there stood Brian. His face looked shocked to see you out here in the garden.

“Brian there you are. Where’s everyone else? Was there another problem at the club?” you ask him.

“N-no. No. I—I thought you had your internship today?”

“I only work Monday through Friday. Today’s Saturday Brian.”

“Bollocks.” He muttered.

“Is—everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. No need to worry your head dear one.” He tried his best to assure you.

“Great cause I was hoping Serafina could teach me how to do some transfiguration. John told me she was always the best at it and even taught him. I’ve always wanted to change into my favorite animal. Where is she?”

“Umm (Y/n). I don’t think today’s a good day for a magic lesson. Let alone the rest of the week for that matter.” He muttered the last part.

“Why?” you question with a tilt of your head. Brian looked towards the gardens and sighed heavily.

“We didn’t want you to see this but…..there’s no use in hiding it.”

“Hiding what? Brian you’re starting to scare me here.”

“There’s no need to be frightened mellon. But just promise me that when we find Serafina you won’t speak a word to her. In fact don’t even let your presences be known to her.” His tone that always filled you with warmth and comfort now gave you anxiety.

He places a hand to your shoulder and guides you deep into the garden. Further than you ever went before until your eye caught the sight of Serafina and Roger standing close together under a large willow tree.

Play video

Roger had an arm wrapped around Serafina but this didn’t seem like Roger trying to make a pass at her. It was almost like he was trying to comfort her or something. Brian presses his finger to his lips as he gestures for you both to move closer. You both crouch down behind the shrubs and through the green curtains of the willow you could see Serafina in a state you had never seen her before. Normally she always appeared motherly, welcoming, and caring to those around her. Like she was the kind of woman who would never betray your trust or break you down.

But all that stood before you now was a shell of the woman she was. Her red eyes were now red with shedded as well as unshed tears. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere as she just stood there frozen in time in that broken state of hers.

Roger tried his best whether nuzzling her or even giving her a comforting kiss to get her to snap out of it. But she was long gone. Lost in her mind.

You turn to Brian confused and sad wanting to ask why Serafina was this upset but he once again pressed his finger to his lips before pointing back towards them. It was then John soon arrived at the Willow tree. His expression solemn and eyes full of regret as he stared at his wife.

Roger turned to John and glared at him but before he could do anything, that’s when Serafina turned to John. Her expression never changing as she stared at him with solemn, broken eyes. Roger backed off as John slowly walked towards her.

The couple stood silently before each other. Not one of them saying a word. It was then John fell to his knees, his head bowing in shame before Serafina. He stayed in that position and you watched as Serafina just looked down at him.

She then raised her hand up and a red beam of light started to form from her palm as she looked like she was about to strike John down. Your heart began to race with anxiety, was she really gonna strike him when he was unarmed? Not even wanting to fight? And why did John seem to want this to happen?

But when you saw Serafina’s hand tremble and shake you knew then she wouldn’t do it. And it was only confirmed when she closed her hand into a fist before turning away from John as more tears seeped down her face. Her biting her tongue to keep from sobbing.

That’s when Roger came back, this time in his horse form. Serafina wrapped her arms around Roger’s powerful stallion neck and he lowered his head onto her shoulder.

You and Brian were now back at the mansion in the living room. A cup of tea was in your hand as Brian prepared himself his usual cup of wine.

“I’ve never knew Serafina could be so broken like that.” You muttered solemnly.

“She tries to keep her optimistic and motherly nature. But on this day, she can’t help herself. Be thankful she’s only managed to keep it for this day. When I first met her, she was like that almost every day.” Brian said before taking a sip of his wine.

“What happened to her that made her so broken?”

“Today is the 900th anniversary of the day she and I had something in common.” Freddie’s voice spoke up. You quickly turn and surprisingly for the first time since you’ve been here, Freddie had come out from the cave of the basement and was now slithering towards you all.

“And what is that?” you ask the Naga.

“To tell you that would take forever. But if you wish to truly know, follow me and you will see what I’ve seen.” He slithered away. You turn to Brian completely confused.

“Does he always speak like that?”

“Nagas always love to speak in riddle-like manner. It’s just their nature. But you should go with him. He can tell you more than even I ever could.”

“You really think I should go with him?” he nodded. You let out a whine as you stand up and you muttered. “I don’t want to though! He nearly killed me last time I was alone with him.”

“But he didn’t. Trust me if Freddie really wanted to kill you, he’d never let you know.” Brian said sternly before trailing off in a darker tone.

Swallowing the last bit of your tea you set the cup down and walk in the general direction that Freddie had slithered off to. You heard his voice in your head telling him to come up to the attic.

When you got there, all around there were additional shelves filled with even more ancient trinkets, spell books, weapons, and even some wizard photographs (apparently when wizards take pictures with a camera, the pictures move about in that moment in time).

You then see Freddie standing right before a beautiful fountain. The bottom of it was pure stone and trailing up towards the top was an intwining pattern that resembled tree branches twisting and turning over each other. A silver bowl encompassed the top part of the fountain, shining as bright as a star in the sky.

“A gift of the Eldar. Brian’s grandmother’s mirror. This shows you things that were, things that are, and some things…..that have not yet come to pass.”

“Is this how you see the future?”

“I’ve been seeing the fates of all creatures long before this fountain was created. But when Brian was able to bring this along, with a little bit of my magical knowledge, I helped improve on just what this fountain can do.” He pulled out a tall silver pitcher and poured the water that was inside it into the fountain, while with his tail, it reached over to one of the shelves and took out a small vile with barely a quarter of what looked like water.

“What’s in there?” you ask him. He put the pitcher down and took the vile from his tail and responded.

“The key to you seeing what all has been in the lives of your teachers. This my darling, are the tears of Serafina Rhea Black and John Richard Deacon.” He then opened the vile and tilted it over the fountain and soon the two teardrops fell into the fountain.

He turned to you and gestures towards the fountain. Slowly you walk towards the fountain and look at Freddie. He gives you a soft nod telling you to look into the fountain. You look down at the water to see ripples forming and expanding throughout the entire fountain. Smoke began to form from within the water and all of a sudden it felt like you were being pulled in.

It was so fast and so quick you almost didn’t even know what was happening. Until finally you landed before a large forest. The sun was shining high above the sky, birds were chirping and flying about through the forest trees. Suddenly you heard the sound of a child’s giggle.

Coming out from the trees was a young girl around 5-6 years old. She had very long black hair, right about to her mid-back and she was chasing a butterfly. Her bright brown eyes gleaming with child-like innocence as she chased after the butterfly.

“Hey wait! Come back! I just wanna play!” she called out to the butterfly before chasing after it once more. For some reason this child looked familiar to you but you couldn’t place your finger on it.

“She looks different. Especially to how you know her now but it is her.” Freddie’s voice said beside you. You look to him before turning back to the little girl. Your eyes widening in realization!

“Wait that’s….that’s Serafina!?”

“Indeed it is.”

“But her hair’s not red, nor are her eyes.”

“All will be explained further on. Keep watching. This was the day that changed both their lives forever.” You both continue to watch as little Serafina run after the butterfly before crouching down in the tall grass as it now landed on a boulder before her.

“The mighty huntress……has cornered her prey.” Serafina whispered lowly. You watch as gets into pouncing position and she leaps over the grass but over shoots her mark and soon knocks into someone.

A boy around a year or 2 older than her. He had short brown hair but there was no mistaking from those eyes of his. That mix of blueish grey, this was John Deacon as a little boy. The two of them rolled around till Serafina ended up on top of him and the two of them groaned in pain.

“Sorry. I—get a little enthusiastic when I chase after butterflies.” Serafina apologized. You saw as little John Deacon just stared up at little Serafina in pure awe.

Like she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

A light blush blossoming across his chubby face.

“What’s wrong? Can’t you talk?” little John’s stunned face continued to grow redder. “Hey, I don’t bite.” Serafina told him assuringly before getting off of him. “My name’s Serafina. What’s your name kid?”

“Pretty.” You hear him whisper.

“Pretty? What kind of a weird name is that?” Serafina asked with a tilt of her head.

“Wha? No. No I mean……my-my name is-it’s I meant to say. John. My name is John Deacon.”

“You’re part of the Deacon family!? My daddy says I need to be careful around you.” she said stunned before trailing off lowly. You watched as John’s expression grew sad and he lowered his head in shame. And you thought you saw tears in his eyes but that’s when Serafina suddenly exclaimed. “I like you!”

“What? But didn’t you hear my last name?”

“Yeah I did. My cousins Fred and George Weasley say that they’re stuck up trolls that don’t know how to have fun. But you seem like you do.” She then poked him in the chest before jumping back from him. “Tag you’re it!”

She jumped in circles around John who just looked at her confused.

“What are you doing?”

“Wizard tag. I tagged you now you gotta come tag me!” Serafina giggled happily as she continued to hop around him. “C’mon don’t you know how to play?” when John looked down once again, Serafina stopped hopping and stood in front of him. “Ohh.” She said solemnly.

“Mother and Father don’t allow fun.” Serafina then began to ponder for a moment before she exclaimed.

“I got it!” she took his hand and dragged him out of the forest.

“Wh-where are we going?”

“To the masters of fun. They’ll show you how to have fun!” they soon disappeared from sight.

You and Freddie stood there and you say to him.

“She was pretty resilient as a child wasn’t she?”

“Serafina always did want to get her way. And being the only child from her mother and father she did get that. But it was a good thing she persisted in wanting to being friends with John. His family is……to put it lightly. Not a great bunch of characters.” The scene then faded away into smoke and now you stood before a large mansion of some kind.

Unlike the mansion you currently lived at, this one was dark and gloomy. Hardly any light came in through the windows (even though they stood as high as the ceiling). A large fireplace was to your right and up above you a large diamond crystal chandelier.

Suddenly coming around the corner was John who looked much older this time (roughly around 11 or 12 years old) but you watched in horror as a woman dragged him by his ear before tossing him down to the ground and she hissed out.

She seemed to be around her 40’s maybe 50’s and wore a long black raggedy dress with a black corset around it. Her hair was dark brown like John’s, and it reminded you of Brian’s to a degree but her hair was almost unkept and madded around her face like a rat’s nest. What really frightened you the most were her eyes.

Her dark brown eyes that almost appeared black were just wide with insanity. Even the most insane person that had ever been convicted and had those same crazed eyes couldn’t compare to the eyes of the woman before you.

“You’ve been with that filthy half-blood again weren’t you?”

“No I—”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!!!” she screamed at him. Hearing her voice was like hearing nails running down a chalkboard. It almost made your ears bleed and send fear up your spine. “You know it’s never good to lie to mummy Johnny boy.” Whoa wait what? This crazed psychotic woman was John’s mother?!

You turn to Freddie, your eyes filled with shock and he nodded once to you.

“So why don’t you tell me again, were you with that filthy half-blood?” she hissed at her son’s face all the while holding a knife!? A freaking knife at her own child!

“What is with all the shouting now Bellatrix?” a deep baritone voice echoed through the walls. Soon a very tall and lean man soon came into the picture. His posture showed that he held great status and power with his hands behind his back as he slowly walked towards the woman known as Bellatrix and John. He had long platinum blonde hair that went down to his back and piercing blue eyes.

“Ask your son Ronan. I caught him gallivanting with that insult of a witch Serafina Black!” Ronan soon turned to his son. John fearfully turned to his father who only looked down at him like he was an insect.

“And what were you doing together?” he asked John. When John refused to answer his father all he got was a hard slap across the face sending him to the ground.

Alright that’s it! You race towards John’s father to tackle him to the ground when Freddie’s tail wrapped around your waist.

“Let go of me I’ve got to help him! They can’t do this to him this is child abuse Freddie!”

“These are the shadows of things that have been. The past cannot be altered nor changed not even erased. No matter how much we try to bury it.” You slump down and watch helplessly as John tries to pick himself back up.

“They were skipping along holding hands making lovey-dovey eyes at each other. And I even saw John give Serafina a thistle.” Soon a young teenager that almost resembled his father to a T said as he came strutting in the manor. “Honestly it made me feel sick to my stomach.”

“Well done Draco.” Bellatrix whispered to the teenager’s ear almost seductively. You made a disgusted face as you turn to Freddie, questions buzzing through your mind like a swarm of bees.

“His older brother Draco. And Bellatrix is incapably of showing real motherly love as you can see. She’s unquenched by her bloodlust and any love she may try to show comes out as lust. Like for her eldest son whom she molded into the perfect killing machine.”

“How could John have remained the type of person he is today with a family like that? If that had been me I would’ve been locked away in some asylum or thrown in prison for the crimes I would’ve committed.”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Freddie told you. You pondered and pondered till it finally came to you.

“Serafina.” He nodded and the world around you vanished once again into smoke and a new picture was formed.

This time however it was a large field in front of you. Nothing but green as far as the eye could see. A little farm was just to the corner and you could hear the sounds of horses, cows, chickens, ducks and pigs. When you turned around you saw what looked like a stack of houses on top of one another.

Wooden and all with many doors, windows and finally the stereotypical triangle-shaped roof with a little chimney on top. The sun was high above the sky on this beautiful sunny day but there wasn’t any people around or showing up yet.

“Where are we?”

“Welcome to the Burrow. The home of Serafina and her entire family.”

“Just how big is her family to live in a house like that?”

“Remember darling they’re wizards. Not everything is as it seems.” Suddenly something landed behind the two of you and drove right through you both. You at first were startled as you tried to make sure you were still there but then you remembered what Freddie said. That this was in the past and nothing could see or hear us, so it would make sense that nothing could really touch you.

“There they are right on time.” Freddie said. “This happened the next morning after what you just witnessed.” The carriage soon came to a stop and coming out of it was Serafina and John along with two teenage boys.

Identical twins with the brightest red hair you had ever seen on anyone else. It came down just short of their shoulders and they grabbed John’s stuff from the carriage while Serafina checked John over before taking his hand and leading him towards the Burrow. The four young wizards walked quietly towards the house when you turned to Freddie.

“Go see.” You follow behind them and when you entered inside, it was like visiting a cozy cottage. Antiques of pottery stacked along the shelves, a cute little table was set up with a plate of biscuits at the center. And of course like Freddie said the house did seem to be bigger on the inside.

Not as big as John’s manor home but it was homey enough. Like being wrapped up in warm hugs homey with enough space to walk about.

“Do you think it’d be alright if we had some of these?” Serafina whispered.

“Yeah mum will never know.” whispered one of the twins. The three of them take the biscuits but Serafina grabs two and hands one to John.

“I—know it’s not much. But it’s home.”

“I’ve been here before Serafina. And I love it every time I come here. Thanks for getting me out of there.” He reached out and took the biscuit from her hand but allowed his fingers to linger on her hand a bit longer which made Serafina blush.

Oh my god how can these two kids be sooo cute together!? It was then you heard the sound of frantic footsteps and soon coming out from the corner of the stairs was a stout woman with long ginger hair. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she spoke with a shrill in her voice.

“Where have you been!?” immediately Serafina and the twins hid their helpings of biscuits behind their backs as they stared like a deer in headlights at the woman before them. When her eyes turned to John, they softened up and she came around as she spoke in a real motherly voice. “Oh John. How wonderful to have you back dear.” She then turned her attention back to Serafina and the boys, her hands at her hips as she lectured them. “Beds empty! No note! Carriage gone! You could’ve died! You could’ve been seen! Of course I don’t blame you John dear.” She spoke softly to John.

Her face then turned immediately concerned as she saw the bruising around John’s face.

“Oh, dear what happened to your face?” she walked up to John and cupped the side of his face, gently stroking the bruise which made him softly hiss in pain.

“He hit him again Aunt Molly. And they put bars on his window.” The twins nodded in agreement. Molly continued to look John over and sighed.

“Alright, I’ll overlook this just this once. But be thankful I’m not your father cause otherwise you’ll have bars up your window Serafina Black.” The twins stared down at Serafina wide-eyed. “Come now John. Little bit of healing and then time for a spot of breakfast.” Serafina’s aunt guided John to another part of the room when her voice suddenly called back. “And you three put those biscuits back on the plate less you get the swaddle!”

Immediately you saw Serafina and the twins put their biscuits back on the plate and race back up the stairs.

As the scene went on you watched as Serafina’s aunt pampered John at the table telling him to tuck in as a large breakfast was now being set down along the table.

Another set of footsteps came walking down the stairs and soon a beautiful young woman with the same ginger hair color and honey brown colored eyes came down and she said.

“Molly have you seen my wand?” she asked in a warm, soft voice.

“Yes sister it was on the cat.” Molly told the young woman. When she saw John sitting beside Serafina at the table, her eyes slowly widened in fear.

“Hello Mrs. Black.” John greeted her with a smile. Wait so was this…….Serafina’s mom? No wonder where she got her beautiful looks from, this woman was beautiful. Ethereal almost like an angel.

“Young lord Deacon. What-what-what a surprise to see you here.” She then immediately raced off out of the kitchen.

“Did I do something wrong?” John asked confused.

“Don’t worry about my mum. She’s always been freaked out a lot lately. In fact I think it was around the time we met. But I wouldn’t worry about that. She can sometimes act a little crazy at times. This one time Fred and George slipped this garden snake into her pillow and she refused to sleep in her bed for a month. My dad was not pleased about that.”

“Now, now Serafina don’t go insulting your mother like that. She loves you and you know it.” Her aunt Molly lectured her.

“Morning everyone!” a man’s voice called out. Soon coming through you was a stout man wearing the a green cloak and the traditional pointy wizard hat on top of his head. It was the same color of dark green as his cloak but was worn down after probably years of being worn.

“Morning dad! Uncle Arthur! Arthur!” you heard everyone in the room chorus out.

“What a night! Nine raids. Nine!” the man known as Arthur said excitedly as he crossed across the kitchen to set his stuff down and take off his cloak and hat.

“Raids?” John questioned to Serafina. She swallowed her food and said.

“You remember John, my uncle works with the Ministry of magic. In the Muggle artifacts office.”

“He loves muggles.” Said one of the twins that was with Serafina earlier.

“Thinks they’re fascinating.” The other twin joined in. Arthur went up to his wife and kissed her cheek before taking his seat at the head of the table.

“Well now,” Arthur said as he took his seat. When he took notice of John sitting next to him he said, “Oh well John Deacon welcome back lad.”

“Morning Mr. Weasley. Hope I didn’t come at a bad time.”

“Nonsense. Besides I was wondering when your next visit would be, when did he get here?” Arthur waved off nonchalantly before digging into his breakfast.

“This morning.” Molly answered as she turned around from the oven. “Your sons and niece flew that enchanted carriage of yours to Leicester and back last night.”

“Did you really?” Arthur said in awe. He then turned to his twin boys and asked enthusiastically, “How’d it go? Was it…..” as the twins began to talk over about how it worked out well, their mother stepped into the conversation.

“Arthur!” Molly scolded him as she slapped his arm and giving him a lecturing look.

“I mean……that was very wrong of you children! Very wrong indeed!” Arthur said in his best lecturing voice.

You saw as John and Serafina look at each other before smiling secretly at each other holding in their laughter. Now that you’ve got more questions you stepped outside the house to see Freddie right by the pigpen.

“No wonder where she got her motherly side from. She’s almost exactly like her aunt. Serafina’s got a great family.” You heard Freddie softly laugh before it grew and he was now laughing hysterically.

“Great? Great is a loose term when describing families.”

“Well at least they treated John like one of their own. They were way better nurturers than his poor excuse of parents!” you exclaim at the Naga.

“That is true but Serafina’s parents weren’t any better than John’s were. I assume you’ve met her mother in there correct?” your anger faded as you say outloud.

“She did seem pretty freaked out about John. And Serafina said that it happened right after they met when they were little. So what is this really a Romeo and Juliet situation?”

“To a degree. It’s not so much as rivalry families. When one of John’s many great grandfather’s became the Sorcerer supreme, he sought out a hierarchy based line. In which Pureblood were respected and revered almost like Gods, while everyone else of either Half-blood or hybrid blood, in their case anyone born with a muggle parent, were deemed less worthy. But if you had a certain skill set then you were seen with a slight more advantage than the other families. But only by much.”

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yeetingmyfeeling · 4 years ago

Text

Express Part 1 (Brian)

I have a feeling this may get taken down, or something of the sort. I warn, this is very, very dark. So head my warning, if you are sensitive to triggering topics, do not read.

Such as: self harm, suicide, child abuse, paedophilia, eating disorders, transphobia, homophobia, abliest.

I let out a jagged breath, my shaking hands carting through my hair, gripping the ends. I swallowed heavily, forcing down a painful sob. Tears cascaded down my face, landing on my thighs with little splats. I sat on the edge of my bed, my toes gripping the carpet beneath my feet. I leaned over and grabbed my phone. One in the morning.

I wiped my arm over my eyes, sniffling loudly. I just needed to calm down, before my dad heard me and yelled at me. He looked around my dark room, finding a box of tissues, I started to wipe at my face. I found a water bottle and took a good few gulps of the cold liquid.

Eventually calming down, I now lay under the covers, having a gentle throbbing in my head and my body. At least I just cried this time. My phone vibrated with a message, so I quickly checked it.

Moo: Hey dude, you up? I really need someone to talk to.

I bit down on my lip, breathing through my nose. I was quick to respond, knowing my friend, my crush, was upset. Around four in the morning, he went to sleep. I stayed up, plagued by my thoughts. At seven, my alarm went off. I went to school, having no choice. Brock didn’t show up.

~~~~~

We were hanging out at Tyler’s house. It was a Saturday, and everyone happened to be free. So Tyler offered, and everyone came. We all squeezed into his living room somehow, and everyone was doing their own things.

Evan, Jonathan, Tyler and David were all playing Mario Kart. Loud shouts and screaming was heard. They took up the couch, all of them leaning forward so they could see the screen better. Marcel and Scotty were sharing an armchair, Marcel half in Scotty’s lap. They were laughing at the four idiots. Antony was leaning over the couch, annoying the gamers. Brock was laughing, trying to get Anthony to stop.

I sat on the floor, almost in the corner. This always happened. I did try, I swear I did. I always tried at the start to join. I was loud, happy, smiling, making funny voices. Then Tyler called me annoying, and said I was too loud. David told me to shut up, saying I wasn’t funny.

No one else stood up for me, most even agreed. Even Brock said I was getting kind of annoying.

I looked at my friends around me, feeling pain build up in my chest and a burning in my throat. I stood up slowly and made my way out, knowing no one noticed. I went to the bathroom and sat on the floor just trying to control my breathing and calm my mind.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

I stood up and made my way out, my chest getting tighter and tighter. I was right, no one noticed me leave. “I’m gonna go guys,” I spoke, just loud enough for them to hear over the yelling. The only response I got was a salute from Brock.

~~~~~

“Ashley!” My dad growled, making me look up in confusion. We were having a normal conversation, why is he suddenly angry?

“Can you do anything right Ashley?” Mum asked in a yell. I looked at her in confusion. “Don’t give me that fucking look!”

I went to say something, but was interrupted by mum again. “Are you talking to that boy again?”

“That boy…?” I asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“That pedo,” Mum explained in a sigh. “Craig.”

I looked down at my lap, tears welling up in my eyes. I hate when they mention him. It was a mistake. I tightened my hands into fists, my bitten off nails digging into my palms.

“Well!?” Mum yelled. I just shook my head. She stepped forward and gripped my shoulder, pushing me back and pinning me against the couch. My eyes widened in fear. “Answer me you fucking disgrace!”

I swallowed and shook my head quickly. I could feel the tears threatening to fall. “N-No mum!” I croaked out. “I don’t talk to him!”

“What about the others?” She asked, still gripping my shoulder. It was starting to hurt.

“No,” I said again, avoiding her eyes. She sighed and pushed away from me. She left the living room, going back to the kitchen to cook.

Dad stood up, coming over to me. He held out his hand. “Phone.”

“Wh-What?”

“Give me your phone, brat!” He yelled, making me flinch. “Then get your computer, and whatever other shit you have. Bring them to me or I’ll fucking break them, then you!”

~~~~~

I sat at the desk, we were in class. It was a test, as the school was going through test week. I sat, staring at my paper. My leg was bouncing, and my hand gripped the pen tightly. It was just a maths test, but my brain couldn’t work anything out.

When I stared at the paper, the words and the numbers would start blurring and mixing together. I had to blink to get everything to go back to their spots, but even then it didn’t make much sense. A headache was starting to build up, one that made my whole head hurt.

I nervously looked around the room, feeling like everyone was staring at me. No one was looking at me, everyone was focusing on their test. I looked over at the teacher just as he looked at me, making me look away quickly.

I breathed out heavily as thoughts swam through my brain. I tried to focus on the words on the page.

If Sally had five oranges, and Tim had seven…

Dumb. Stupid. Not good enough.

Find the value of X in…

Idiot. Retard. Brainless.

If you put these two numbers together…

Useless. Unneeded. Unlovable.

Subtract twenty-six from…

Ugly. Fat. Whore.

It took Amanda eight minutes to get to the train station…

He never loved you. He was a liar. A pedophile.

What is the formula for…

He is going to find you.

What do you get when you…

You are a monster.

I finished my test reasonably quickly, and before anyone else, like I usually do. I raised my hand, and the teacher came over. I gave him my finished paper then left to go to the bathroom. I needed to relax, calm down. To stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about him.

~~~~~

I don’t remember what happened, and I don’t fully recall how I managed it. But here I was.

A sat on my bed, blankets and pillows strewn everywhere. The rest of my room was an even bigger mess. There was trash and dirty clothes laying everywhere. As well as empty, or even half full, cups, bowls and plates. Through the smell in my room, I knew I left something with milk in here. There were papers and school work thrown everywhere, as well as broken objects and cables. A few books lay scattered on the floor as well.

I don’t remember much of the past three weeks. They were all such a blur. All I remember is the gentle hum of my brain working too quickly. All I know now, is I’m on my bed, only in my boxers, and my bodies a mess.

I stood up shakily, my body nearly giving out. I grabbed my phone from it’s current spot on the floor. Four in the morning. I staggered over to my mirror, turning my lamp on along the way. I risked a glance at my body.

My face was pale, with undertones of red and yellow. My eyes bright red, and my cheeks shiny from my tears. I stared at my chest, feeling more tears well up. I averted my eyes to my arms. I had thin, red lines across my upper arms and wrists. Some deep, some shallow. Some red in agitation, some still bleeding. I had the words ‘shut up’ sharpied down my arms. My thighs were worse. There were more cuts, all of those deep, some still bleeding. Words were sharpied from my hips to my knees. Insults, comments, statements.

I sniffled and looked for some sweatpants, only finding a dirty pair. I slipped those on, as well as a clean jumper I found. I climbed into bed and set my phone up to my speaker, playing some soft music. Rolling over. I slowly fell asleep.

~~~~~

I stared down at my dinner, feeling my throat start to burn. It smelt so good, and it looked like it would taste amazing. Yet, just the taste of eating anything made me feel sick. I felt like the second I put a forkful in my mouth, I would instantly start throwing up.

I took a quick glance down at my body and cringed. My thighs were large, taking up so much space. My hips sticking out, and I could see my stomach over my pants. I looked up, seeing my mum look at me.

I swallowed down my insecurities and gave her a smile as I started eating. It was pasta, I love pasta. This tasted like ass, even though I know my mum is an amazing cook. I just couldn’t eat.

I ate half of my dish, soon getting full. My dad gave me an earful for not eating all my food. I put my plate out in the kitchen, then went straight to my room and to my bed.

No notifications. Sounds about right.

I roll over in my bed, staring at the wall. As always, my brain goes back to him.

I wonder how he’s doing, is he alive? Does he still think about me? He moved on pretty quickly. He probably lied to that other guy, like he lied to me and everyone else.

I wonder if he ever did actually kill himself?

I should. I should do it before he finds me, and does to me what he did to his cousin.

Craig made a promise.

Even if he’s a liar, sometimes pathological liars tell the truth.

And a promise is a promise.

#banana bus squad #banana bus crew #vanoss crew #brian hanby #the gaming terroriser #moo snuckle #vanossgaming #i am wildcat #dark #rant

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theparanormalperiodical · 4 years ago

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9 REAL Curses That You Gotta Know About - Even If You’re Not Exploring An Ancient Egyptian Tomb This Weekend

It’s the 17th February 1923.

We are somewhere in Cairo, staving off the heat of an Egyptian Autumn.

We’re waiting. We’ve been waiting since 1915.

In a silent, swift moment the seal to Tutankhamun’s tomb is broken, and one of the most valuable pieces of history is finally passed to the hands of the historians.

But it wasn’t just the secrets of the past that were unleashed when the seal was broken.

Within 12 years, 8 of the explorers that accessed the tomb were dead. By taking their first steps into this place of rest they had unknowingly released what was to be known as the Curse of the Pharaohs.

Ever since the 19th century British explorers first disturbed the pharaohs, a legend gained ground that claimed anyone who disturbed an Ancient Eypgtian mummy was to experience serious misfortune, illness, or even death.

And ever since they returned home with their spoils of the treasure was this claim proven correct, especially with the supposed curses detailed within the once hidden tombs themselves.

EDIT: Obviously this curse is founded more on the British media sensationalising exoticism, a common tactic of Imperialists in their racist agenda, so be far more wary of that than any old legend.

But what exactly was this curse? And were there any other curses that we should be aware of before we break into any other uncharted tombs?

What Exactly Is A Curse?

It’s founded some of our favourite urban legends and it is still used to stereotype certain communities - but it turns out that they’ve had this reputation for centuries.

In official terms, a curse is a wish that imposes adversity on a person or group of people, an object, or a place. Specifically, it is related to wishes made effective by supernatural circumstances, whether they’re enforced by spirits, or conjured via magic.

Regional divergences also exist, with jinxes belonging to African American Hoodoo, and hexing being a resident of Germany.

Convinced you’ve been cursed?

You have two options if you want to break the spell. One, you can either perform elaborate rituals specific to said-curse, or two, you can pray, like, a lot.

How helpful.

Not sure how you got cursed?

You’ve most likely encountered one of three things:

There’s the cursed objects - if you’ve been rooting through forbidden tombs or looted from a sanctuary, you might’ve brought a curse home, too. This curse typically amounts to bad luck, or the manifestation of strange phenomena.

Then there’s the curses from Ancient Egypt which are often associated with those that disturb mummies in their eternal slumber. The 19th century exploration of Pharaoh’s tombs revived this concept, and would allow the proliferation of our pop culture curses.

And then there's the Biblical curses. They don’t pause for breathe when cursing each other in the Bible, but thanks to my year 8 Religious Studies, I can tell you that at some point snakes and/or Cain was cursed.

(I’m sure Ms Comber would be ashamed knowing I can just about provide a tl;dr of the first few chapters of the Old Testament before the big plot twist.)

What Are The Most Famous Curses To Date?

#1 - The Curse of Tippecanoe

Our scene is set in 1931.

The brains behind Ripley’s Believe It Or Not - the bestselling publishers of unusual and slightly unnecessary facts - might not have much to report in the pre-internet age, but they were the first to note a rather peculiar trend:

American Presidents elected in a year ending in zero were to die whilst in office. This was later adapted to new, uh, data, which suggested years divisible by 20 (e.g. 1920, 1940, etc.) actually followed this trend.

And beyond the publishing date of this thesis in the early 20th century, this theory had been proven correct.

Think of an iconic president. You know, the ones that have changed history and haven’t suggested one consume bleach like shots of tequila on a two-night bender in ‘biza.

They’ve probably been a victim to this curse.

Lincoln. Mckinley. Roosevelt. Kennedy. Even Reagan and Bush followed the trend, but survived their own assassination attempts.

Question is, where does this curse supposedly come from?

William Harrison was killed only a month after being sworn into office. Elected in 1840, he waged war against a Native American tribe over problems concerning land ownership. Also known as Tecumseh’s War, this was a battle over an attempt to regain land against the American government, and it culminated in the Battle of Tippecanoe.

Harrison won this battle, and ‘Tippacanoe’ became a favoured nickname of the president.

However, shortly after the battle, one of the men at the fore of the Native American side cursed Harrison. We might not know the exact terms of this curse, nor if he wanted such a timely effect to take place, but with an election on the cards this year this thesis is due to be tested.

#2 - The Kennedy Curse

Kennedy might’ve already fallen victim to the curse of Tippacanoe, but it turns out that wasn’t quite enough. The thing is, this curse doesn’t necessarily affect just JFK. It affected everyone around him.

The Kennedy Curse allegedly prompted the deaths, accidents, and variety of other problems that have haunted the Kennedy family since before JFK even took office.

Due to the fact that some recent tragedies has supposedly been related to this curse, I’m going to refrain from coughing up each incident, but here’s a few to convince you:

Joseph Kennedy was the first victim in 1944, and died in a plane crash over Suffolk, England.

Kathleen Kennedy met a similar fate in 1948 after a plane crash.

Robert F Kennedy was killed on the night of his Senate victory in 1968.

David Kennedy died of a drug overdose in 1984.

Michael Kennedy died in a skiing accident in 1997.

John F Kennedy died in a plane crash in 1999.

Rosemary Kennedy had a lobotomy and was mentally incapacitated for the rest of her life until her death in 2005.

#3 - The 27 Club

The passing of young people is a tragedy we can’t quite wrap our heads around. Heck, belief in the supernatural is partially founded on how we can’t quite comprehend just losing someone, and that just being it.

Finality is an impossible concept to grasp.

And it’s why we turn to things like curses to explain away our pain and to make sense of it all. The 27 Club is a prime example of this.

A remarkable amount of the most famous musicians, artists, and actors to date have all died at the age of 27.

Like, over 50.

Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, and Jim Morrison are just a few of the figures that represent the phenomenon, a phenomenon which has been referenced countless times in popular culture.

Some researchers may have disproven the alleged curse, but with the 4 founding members dying within a 2 year window (Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison), suspicions will always be roused.

#4 - The Curse of the Iceman

Popular culture phenomenons might form some of the most famous curses to date, but they really started with ancient legends. And this one is one of the most well-known claims of the awakening of a long-dormant curse.

Oetzi was found somewhere in the Alps in 1991.

No, this isn’t the name of some lovable character destined to have his own Netflix series; this is a corpse preserved by the icy temperatures of the mountain range in Italy. And this corpse is from 3100 or 3400 BC, or the Copper Age.

Given the value of this shocking discovery, numerous scientists took the fore in their investigation into Oetzi. But many of these scientists also died as a result of the supposed curse put on those that dare disturb Europe’s oldest natural mummy.

7 scientists that collaborated in the removal and examination of the corpse died in a suspiciously short window of time.

#5 - The Curse of Timur

Some of the world’s most famous curses have affected small groups of people. But this curse was a tad more far reaching.

Like 7.5-million-people-far-reaching.

Emperor Timur was a Turco-Mongol leader from the 14th century and established a highly impressive empire: the Timurid Empire. And this empire was so impressive that Stalin himself took direct inspiration from him.

That’s why he wanted the body of the emperor exhumed from his Uzbekistan tomb for investigation by Soviet anthropologists.

(There’s no explanation why, but the Soviet Union did many things we can’t explain.)

Locals protested, fearing a curse that reportedly started in 1740 when an Afsharid ruler took a slab from his final resting place to Persia. His son instantly fell ill amongst a host of other problems affecting his rule, prompting his advisors to convince him to return the slab of jade back to the tomb.

If the rumours weren’t enough to convince them not to break into the tomb, you’d think the warnings on there would do the trick:

"When I rise from the dead, the world shall tremble."

"Whomsoever opens my tomb shall unleash an invader more terrible than I."

Three days after the exhumation began, Hitler launched an operation that would figure as the largest military invasion on the Soviet Union to date.

#6 - The Superman Curse

Numerous films have been labelled with an alleged curse or a haunting. The Exorcist might be the most famous example of this - you know, with that severe fire burning down the set at one point - but a more specific curse can be attributed to those who played the lead in the Superman franchise.

George Reeves committed suicide in 1959.

Christopher Reeve became paralysed in 1985.

Lee Quigley died at 14 due to solvent abuse.

Kirk Alyn’s career met a dead end after his role.

Marlon Brando experienced a series of unfortunate events after his role.

Margot Kidder encountered serious issues with her mental health after her role.

Even the crew operating on the films experienced similar issues both on-set and in their personal lives.

#7 - The Hope Diamond Curse

It’s the most famous jewel in the world, weighing no less than 45 carats and passing between the hands of French kings and British bankers alike - but it’s value is far more supernatural than the $350m price tag.

It is said that a curse is attached to it, a curse that brings misfortune and accompanying tragedy to those that own or wear the gem.

Suicides, murders, executions (most of which were hangings), being ripped apart by wild dogs and various other mobs… Just wear the earrings next time.

Today it is on exhibit at the National Museum of Natural History in the US.

#8 - The Curse Of The Chicago Cubs

Bill Sianis lived an interesting life.

A Greek immigrant to the USA, he owned a tavern in Chicago affectionately named the Billy Goat Tavern. And it was this peculiar name that led to the curse that until recently haunted the Chicago Cubs.

Sianis took his pet goat to one of the games in 1945, a game that was a part of the World Series. But due to the odour of Murphy the Goat, he was asked to leave for the sake of the other fans.

“Them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more”

He declared this shortly after discovering that he would in fact have to leave.

This curse lasted 71 years, and mysteriously ended in 2016 after numerous attempts by fans to utilise rituals - mostly involving goats which may or may not be alive - to release the team from their magical confines.

Numerous goats have been brought to games with declarations claiming to reverse the curse being used, and even Sianis’ family members have done their bit in attempt to lift it. Yet despite these attempts - and that severed goat’s head sent personally to the owner in 2013 - some good has come from the curse.

Many charitable efforts have sprung forth from this legend, such as Reverse The Curse donating goats to those living in poverty in Third World countries.

#9 - The Curse of Turan

Now this is an interesting one.

Allegedly, the whole population of Hungary has been under a curse for many centuries, a curse that has two potential origins:

The first took place during the Christian conversion of the country in 1000 AD, from which those supporting the old religions of Hungary (Paganism and a mix of other minority religions) cast a curse that would affect Hungary for evermore…

(More… More… Mo...)

Or 1000 years, suggesting the curse might have been lifted already.

Alternatively, it could be a curse created or rumoured to exist during the failed revolution of 1848 which evoked a great sense of pessimism that is a reported symptom of the curse.

Although the previous curses mentioned in this article have a striking number of coincidences one can’t help be interested in, this one is a little, well, vague.

Sure, Hungary - like most countries - has experienced a number of tragedies over the last 1000 years, from the devastating impact of war and invasion, to foreign control, but how far can we pin suffering caused by imperialism on that of a curse?

The high suicide rate which ranks as 6th in the world might not point to a supernatural cause, but the rather darker reality of depression.

(Yeah, I agree, I should’ve finished this article on a cheerier note.)

Well thank god that’s over!

Want to read stuff that’s less depressing and more delightfully spooky? ‘Course you do. Then go check out my other articles about all things horror and hauntings.

I even post a new real ghost story everyday.

Stay spooky!

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kathyprior4200 · 5 years ago

Text

Alastor Interview

Part 1: “I’ll Steal The Limelight!”

On a TV screen, the 666 News logo appeared in neon outlines. A skeletal blonde woman was sitting at a desk, wearing a red dress and a pearl necklace. She had wide eyes, sharp teeth and bright red lipstick on. She was the news anchor of Hell, Katie Killjoy. Next to her was a man with a face mask for a face. He had short white hair and wore a business suit. He was Tom Trench.

“Good afternoon to Hell’s First Circle!” said the woman. “I’m Katie Killjoy.”

“And I’m Tom Trench,” the man added.

“Another drug dealing brawl is taking place by the 666 Store along Maim Avenue and Broadslay Street.”

The image showed a tall great white shark wearing a teal suit and an anchor necklace, snarling at a tall black spider wearing torn jeans and a t shirt. Both started fighting, the shark chomping at the spider, almost biting off his neck.

“That’s right,” said Tom. “The loan shark wasn’t very happy that Black Widow the Third didn’t pay him back for the bag of cocaine. Instead, he got high off the cocaine, stole the shark’s stash of meth and sold it to an arachnid mafia at an even higher price!”

The spider screamed as the shark opened his maw, rows of sharp teeth shining.

“Looks like Black Widow is in the jaws of fate this time,” Tom added as a loud snap shook the miniature screen.

The screen changed to a red wall displaying plaques with fancy papers taped onto them. “Employee of the Month” was printed in headline format at the top and a row of smiling black and white pictures of Katie.

“Now for a special public program, here at 5! To commemorate me earning “Employee of the Month” for the tenth time in a row this year, me and Tom will be answering a series of questions in an exclusive live interview!”

She fluffed her short hair.

“You may be wondering why 666 News is Hell’s number one news station. Well now, you can get a sneak peek behind the scenes as I explain to you folks how my hard work and stylish outlook made all of this possible!”

She spread out her arms with loud cracks, bonking Tom Trench in the head.

Tom Trench rubbed his head as Katie moved her arms back and put her hands together in front of her.

“If you would like to apply to be part of the set and news crew, please call the number on your screen, 1-800-666–NEWS or go online at 666news applications.com.”

“Gays need not apply,” Katie added, with jazz hands.

Fast rapid music followed as the logo appeared again, and the words “Exclusive Interview with Katie Killjoy (and limp dick Tom Trench)!” appeared in stylish gold letters.

After the I.M.P. jingle played, the screen cut back to the two news anchors sitting at their desks.

A rapid knocking sounded from Tom’s left.

“Oh, that must be our two never-before seen interviewers,” Tom said. “Brain Brimstone and Cecilia May! Come on in!” He stood up.

The sound of footsteps, muffled grunts, and dragging steadily grew. Two shadow figures were thrown off-screen with thuds on the floor. Tom Trench took one look at the third figure and took several steps back. He breathed out loud in surprise.

Katie scratched her nails on the desk and looked over. “What now, Tom?!”

“Why hello there, news people!” said a loud radio voice. “Fancy seeing you here!”

Both of them were staring into the pale, red-eyed face of Alastor. He wore his usual long blood red dress coat, dark pants and black shoes. Dark gloves covered his four clawed hands. His hair was red and black and two small antlers were sticking up from his head between two furry tufts shaped like deer ears. A monocle rested under his right eye, connected by a thin chain.

“What a splendid surprise!” Katie chirped, looking at the camera. “The one and only Radio Demon has decided to join us for the interview. I hope he has some good questions up his sleeve, ‘cause I’d be more than happy to answer them.” She smirked and swayed her hips suggestively.

Alastor laughed forcefully. “Nonono, that’s not what I came here for. You see…” he mentioned to the two demons in the background, slowly getting up. “I came across those two fellows who were chatting about interviewing someone important. Seeing how easily bored I can get, I decided to follow them to your station to see what all the commotion was about. It was pretty funny seeing the terrified looks on their faces when they turned around and saw me. They were going to come in, but I brought them here for you. Wasn’t that so considerate of me?”

Katie and Tom Trench looked at each other, worry on both of their faces. Katie cleared her throat and cracked her neck, standing up. “Well, then, shall we get started? Take a seat and let’s begin with your first question.”

“Sure,” said Alastor, not moving, a smile on his face. “Here’s one, may I take things over from here? I’ve been bored as usual and I believe it’s my turn to provide some fun for the sinners.”

Tom Trench gulped, whole Katie narrowed her eyes.

“Excuse me, sir, but this is my program. I’ve been named the best employee and news anchor for ten months now! This is a perfect way to increase the good ratings! I’m the star who answers the questions, not you.”

She blew him a kiss. Tom’s eyes grew wide as he realized Katie’s big mistake. He shook his head, but Katie ignored him.

“My dear,” said Alastor, leaning closer, eyes glowing. “That wasn’t a request. This is my show now. Broadcasting on the radio is fine and dandy, but I enjoy looking for new entertainment platforms.” His microphone staff lit up.

Katie gave him a side hug. “My time is money, good sir, so I suggest we get started.”

A low growl rumbled from Alastor’s throat. He forcefully shoved her away. “Touch me again, and I’ll break your already broken body.”

“Why I never!” she responded. Katie transformed into her insect form, eyes glowing, pinchers out. “Get out of my studio!”

Alastor’s eyes turned into red radio dials. He spoke in a low voice. “How about, no. If any dumb Dora needs to get out, it’s you.”

Before Katie could react, she found herself ensnared by a couple black tentacles snaking around her feet, one wrapped around her right wrist.

“Let go of me!”

Tom Trench was yelling and hanging upside down by more tentacles grabbing onto his legs. Katie tripped in her red high heels and fell to the ground. A flaming portal formed from the floor nearby. Katie dragged her nails into the floor, scratching sounds piercing the air as she was pulled in further against her will.

“Why won’t anyone help me?!” Tom yelled as he was swung in the air as the crew fled the scene.

Katie swore loudly and screamed again as she fell through the portal.

Monstrous roars and yells came from below. After a few minutes, a tentacle flung Katie back up and onto the floor. Her body was shaking and her dress was torn. There were cuts all over face and arms. Her eyes were briefly red, her pale face full of fear.

She stood on shaky legs and mumbled to herself.

“Those visions…my studio gone…crushed again…they rejected me…”

Alastor’s shadow let out a bone-chilling laugh and spoke in reverse: “.der ni dalc nomed eht eraweB”

Katie had gotten a glimpse of her worst subconscious fears and her past. Her parents comparing their worthless daughter to beauty patents in magazines…being fined for animal abuse…the press badmouthing her after being on air for the first time…a wealthy boyfriend rejecting her for a brunette model…smoking and gasping for breath…cameras and machinery falling and crushing her to death…

But her worst fear at the moment was a red and black haired man, glaring at her with glowing red eyes. She screamed and scurried out of the room. Tom Trench was thrown by a tentacle out a window, glass shattering. The portal in the floor closed.

“Apologizes folks, but now that those two are gone, it’s time to begin my show with those two over there.”

Alastor’s shadow appeared and floated around him. With a snap of his fingers, the 666 News logo on the wall was replaced with large red letters reading “The Alastor Show!” The two demon interviewers hovered over in the air, surrounded by red auras. They were dropped into leather chairs. The desk vanished and Alastor sat in a tall leather chair of his own, with antlers extending from the top.

He beamed at the two in front of him. He stood up and walked over to Brian Brimstone. “The name’s Alastor, it’s a pleasure meeting you. And you are?”

“Brian,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Great to have you here. And you, what’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Cecilia.”

“Pleasure to meet you as well!”

He sat back down. “So you’re here to interview me, yes? Well feel free to ask whatever you’d like. No pressure or anything. But I do warn you, the price for asking any personal questions, is your souls. Are we good?”

Both nodded.

“Excellent! To make this even more entertaining, I’ve invited some fine imps from Immediate Murder Professionals to join us.”

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie opened up a portal to Earth, a circle of flames between space and time.

“I paid them several souls to create an opening for the living world. Thanks to them, I can now broadcast this interview to those on Earth. While I provide some dad jokes and murder broadcasts for a while, these two here will travel to Earth and talk to the human mortals. If they have any questions they’d like to ask me, then my two associates will report back to me in the next hour. Have fun, you two!”

Brian and Cecilia were tossed into the portal off screen.

“By the way, did you hear about the day two radios got married? The wedding was great but the reception was awesome!”

He laughed out loud as a shadow spirit did a “ba dum tis” sound effect on a drum set. “Hahaha! Oh that one never gets old! For my radio listeners out there, just a reminder that my show starts Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 6:06 AM. Get it? A M.” He laughed again.

“Tune in after the break. The Alastor Show is proudly sponsored by: “Dan’s Cannibalicious Cooking Segment. It’s Damn Delicious! By Murder King’s large Fat Nugget Bacon Burgers. The Perfect Snack for a Heart Attack. And by Princess Charlie’s Hazbin Hotel. The place to stay to wash your sins away!”

Part 2: “I’ll Make Music!”

“Welcome back everyone!” Alastor said happily. The two interviewer demons scurried out of the portal and took their places behind the camera in their chairs. The interviewers, obscured by darkness flinched as Alastor’s shadow hovered between the chairs, growling and showing sharp teeth. Antlers extended from the shadow’s head. Alastor continued. “As you can see, my two interviewers just came back from their journey to talk to the humans. They now have their questions ready. So, without further ado…let the show begin.”

Brian cleared his throat. So…uh…we picked up several questions for the humans and…those in an exclusive group seem to know a lot about what goes on in this version of Hell. They call themselves “Hazbin Hotel fans or supporters.”

Alastor shook his head and chuckled. “How can any mortal possibly know about the Hazbin Hotel?” He spoke in a low whisper. “It’s nothing more than a pit and a joke if you ask me.” He spoke up, “But hey, I was happy to help out and rejuvenate the place. I just summoned Husk and Niffty, my associates to help assist Charlie and her friends. I believe they are named Vaggie and Angel Dust. I was there to seek out entertainment, to find a cure for my nagging boredom.”

Alastor’s shadow laughed. “.enorht s’reficuL ekat ot nalp ew dnA”

Understanding his shadow, Alastor whirled around and spat, “Shut it!” The shadow apologized in French and retreated.

“Where were we? Oh of course. The Hazbin Hotel. You say people know about it? Probably from I.M.P. I imagine.”

“No, sir. They say you’re part of a show they watch.”

Alastor chuckled. “Aren’t we all the stars of our own shows? For me, there’s an audience out there just waiting to see what I’m capable of. Like I say, the world is a stage!”

Cecilia turned to Brain in the darkness, “Don’t try and explain it to him. We’re breaking the 4th wall enough as it is.”

Alastor’s microphone staff lit up. “Hello there, fellow humans! I’m your host, Alastor, the only and only Radio Demon! I can’t really see you as I’m in the fiery depth of Hell, but I hope you’re doing swell wherever you live.”

“And the 4th wall has been broken,” Brain muttered.

“Now that both demons and humans can witness this interview, let’s get started. Now, state your questions.”

Cecelia looked at the list.

“Question 1: What instruments do you like to play?”

“Glad you asked,” said Alastor. “I enjoy playing the piano, trumpet, and saxophone. Electro Swing and Jazz are my favorite types of music.” Shadow spirits rose up from the ground and began to play a jazzy tune. He moved his body to the beat and hummed along. “Music has always been central in my life. Growing up in New Orleans back in the day, jazz was everywhere there. Singing and dancing was my way of bonding with people, plus it was a great hobby to do in my spare time. Well, besides murdering people and eating them.”

Alastor’s eyes lit up. “Oh ho ho ho ho! I have a special surprise for you folks. With the help of Blitzo and his crew, I was able to track down a curious British fellow who had invented a very unique musical instrument. What was his name again?”

Blitzo looked up from a computer. “LOOK MUM, NO COMPUTER.”

“No need to shout it out, good sir. Are you sure that’s his name?”

“It’s written in all caps. That’s what he calls himself.”

“Whatever. Mortals sure are strange. Anyway…”

He snapped his fingers and a large object was covered with a black tarp. I present to you…one of my favorite instruments to play, when no one’s looking…”

The shadow spirits did a drum roll…

The tarp was lifted away into the air…

“The Furby Organ!”

It was a grotesque combination of an old fashioned organ and a children’s plaything. The organ had a wooden stool to sit down on and a row of white and black piano keys. The frame was polished oak.

Six long rows of colorful furry robotic toys stood close together like toys displayed in a shop. The furbies had long soft ears, yellow bird becks for noses and little mouths that could open and close. Their large plastic eyes opened and closed at random…their eyes looking disturbingly like human eyes. They all had soft furry feet to hold them upright. Their fur was a variety of colors: gray white, blue and black, brown, orange and red, and yellow. There were 44 furbies in total, all hooked up by a complex array of colorful wires criss-crossing in the back of the machine.

Below the furbies was a series of round metal knobs with notes as letters written in silver sharpie below them. Slightly larger knobs were off to the right. One of the switches was labeled “wake” another, “vowel” and another, “loop.” “LOOK MUM, NO COMPUTER” was written on the front.

A tall white young man stuck out his head from the portal with a shocked and angry expression. His hair was dark and slightly messy.

“Hey, you there! I saw you and some gazelles steal my instrument the other day. I’d like it back!”

Blitzo fumed. “It’s imps to you, ya piece of…”

“Ha! No,” Alastor cut in, pushing Blitzo back. “I believe this marvelous organ belongs to me now. You’re smart. Go make another one.”

The YouTuber stood, flabbergasted. “You don’t know how much I spent on those furbies!” he exclaimed. “They’re rare to find. I wanted to find a use for them and I’m still not done with it.”

“I must say, I’m quite impressed with your work,” Alastor mentioned, running his hand on the polished wood. “It looks done to me. Go make me some more, and I might consider sparing you.”

“What?! What the heck even are you?” the man asked.

“Alastor, Radio Demon, pleased to meet you! Now sit back and enjoy the show, No Computer Man!”

“That’s not my name…” he began, before he was held in place with a yelp by several shadow spirits.

Alastor sat down at the stool as the camera was focused on him.

“Please sir,” said the YouTuber. “Just let me have my machine and I’ll be on my way.”

“Sure, okay, go ahead,” said Alastor. He waved his hand and the silver letters changed to red on the black front structure. “LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER” changed to “ALASTOR RADIO DEMON.” Red voodoo symbols decorated the front and sides of the instrument. “But first, I’d like you to hear me play my favorite song, “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile! Congratulations, human…you’ve got a front-row seat!”

He moved his eyes over toward a switch to the far right of the machine. Below the switch read “Collective Awakening,” in silver letters.

He hovered a long finger over the switch, his grin growing wider.

The man’s eyes widened in fear. “No, no, don’t…” He couldn’t explain where his internal fear was coming from.

But he knew the answer soon enough once Alastor flicked the switch upwards.

All at once, the furbies came to life in a high-pitched discordant. The ears, eyes and mouths of the toys moved on their own accord. The furbies’ voices overlapped each other, almost sounding like screams. A few furbies were still and asleep, unaware of their Matrix-like fate of being part of a musical machine.

Alastor sat down on the stool and laughed. He played around with the knobs and notes. The furbies’ eyes glowed red. He turned the loop button and the furbies screeched and stopped in mid sound. He began to play the keys expertly with his fingers as he sang out loud in his radio voice:

“Hey Hobo Sinner, hey Dapper Winner

You’ve both got your style

But brother you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

“Your clothes may be, Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But brother, you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

He snapped his fingers and Rosie, Mimzy and Charlie were lifted up from portals via tentacles. Charlie looked around, her pale face framed by her blonde hair, red circles on her cheeks.

“Alastor…what’s going on?!”

“My lovely companions!” he introduced.

Mimzy giggled and danced along. Rosie, having agreed to the plan prior, also hummed along.

The three of them did the backup sounds: “Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo…”

“Who cares what they’re wearing

On Maim Street or Inferno Row

It’s what you wear from ear to ear!”

He held up two severed ears…

“…and not from head to toe…”

A severed head and toes appeared in his other hand…

“That ma- ah- ah- ters…”

He took several bites of the human flesh and swallowed, playing a solo with the shrilling and singing of furbies. LOOK MUM, NO COMPUTER shut his eyes tight, trying in vain to get the shadows off him. Alastor tossed the parts aside for the imps to retrieve, along with a bag of souls and coins at the imps’ feet. He cleared his throat as he played some more.

“So room and board, so Overlord

So long for a while

Remember you’re never fully dressed without a smile!

It doesn’t matter how you dress…

Though you make look the best…

You’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Charlie took one look at the furby organ and screamed. “What in Satan’s name is that thing?!”

“My fabulous furby organ!” Alastor exclaimed.

“It’s my invention!” the YouTuber yelled, eyes open.

“Who’s that?” Charlie asked.

Alastor ignored her and finished the song. The furbies talked and moved their mouths in a frenzy before falling still.

Audience clapping sounded from the microphone staff as Alastor stood and bowed.

“Thank, you, thank you! I hope you all enjoyed my little performance. Now to send everyone home.”

He snapped his fingers and the shadows gently carried LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER back through the portal and into the human world. The portal closed behind him, leaving the YouTuber with nothing but a pamphlet advertising the Hazbin Hotel. Under the pamphlet was a hard piece of paper with detailed instructions on how to build another organ made of scales and sea creatures…complete with Baxter’s signature.

Charlie protested but she was soon sent back to the Hazbin Hotel through another portal. Mimzy waved goodbye and Rosie led the way out the door.

After playing several more songs, Alastor snapped his fingers. The organ vanished back to his interdimensional lair and the imps were sent on their way.

Part 3: “I’ll Annihilate Your Assumptions!”

“Alright, next question,” said Brian. “Question 2: Why were you made asexual?”

“Pardon me?” He titled his head in confusion.

“Asexual. Aromantic. Not interested in love?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that. Where did those peculiar terms come from?”

“Well, don’t you know about heterosexuality and homosexuality? Being straight or gay? Everyone uses them.”

Alastor shook his head. “I’ll never understand the random out-of-the-blue labels that you modern folk use. Asexuality? That didn’t exist in my time.”

Brain stared, confused from his seat. “Ok, boomer.”

Alastor snapped his fingers and an explosion tore open a hole in the wall right behind Brain. He yelped in fright.

“Was that a good enough boom for you? Angel Dust told me that “ok boomer” was somehow an insult. I could make you explode, oh that would be fun!”

“Nononono! I didn’t mean anything!” Brian called, in a stuttering voice.

“Alright, let’s fix that wall,” Alastor mentioned.

He snapped his fingers and the formerly broken white wall became a repaired red wall with golden antler designs on it. A black and white picture of a dark skinned woman hung nearby.

The camera focused on Alastor walking up to the wall where the picture was and briefly embracing it.

“Hey, I gotta get my hugs sometime when I’m alone.” He stood up and walked back to his seat. The picture disappeared.

“Alright, about this “asexual” business. Let me explain the best way I can,” said Alastor. “When I was alive, nearly everyone assumed that men liked women and vice versa. Those who did behaviors outside the norm were arrested or imprisoned. At the earliest, that “heterosexuality” term…meant someone with an abnormal passion for the opposite sex. There were no official terms…you were either accepted or condemned by others. As for me…I wasn’t interested in men or women. Dealing with messy emotions and meeting other’s expectations wasn’t worth my time. Sure, I had my fair share of friends male and female…and yes, I did enjoy flirting and touching the ladies. Kind of amusing and pathetic how they could fall for me just like that. Humanity…so gullible! So easy to dance with the women, give them compliments, lure them into my house, and then watch as they screamed for their lives in my basement. I’ve found dames to be the much more tender gender…”

He licked his lips.

Brian and Cecilia shivered in their seats, legs ready to spring and flee.

Alastor shook his head, and spoke back in his normal voice. “Oh sorry about that. I got lost in my thoughts. So, what was the question again?”

Brian repeated it.

“No one is “made” into anything. I was born who I am and then was raised with certain beliefs. Were you born to love the opposite sex? Was I somehow destined to become a demon? No one really knows the answers.”

A pause.

A narrowing of red eyes.

“I can sense that these questions are becoming more personal…”

“Okay, okay,” said Cecelia in a trembling voice. “We won’t ask anything else…”

“On the contrary, it’s quite enjoyable to let my thoughts out,” he said. He snapped his fingers. The doors slammed shut and the locks clicked into place.

“Stay tuned for more, next time on The Alastor Show. For now, you can only imagine what fate I have in store for my guests.”

His microphone blinked off and the TV screens burst into static.

Brain and Cecelia found their arms and legs pinned down by red magic.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you guys escape. Wouldn’t want anyone to taint my reputation by revealing personal details. I mean, heheheh, you still have lots of questions to ask me, and I wouldn’t want to be dismissive of your hard work. But how to dispose of you when the interviews end…”

The shadow hovered by Alastor and whispered in his ear.

“.senob rieht htiw yalp nac sllod oodoov eht dna meht no tsaef em teL”

“Oh, that’s a great idea, Rotsala! Then again, I always have great ideas.” The shadow grinned and sat in a shadow chair beside Alastor.

“In regards to your strange question…why would I love anybody down in Hell?” He burst into laughter. “They’re all a bunch of lost causes anyway! I do make deals here and there but I just use people for my own entertainment. I’m not interested in any sexual activity. Those like that pervert Angel Dust…they can just do their own thing far away from me.”

“But,” he continued, “I will say this. I don’t want to see dear Charlie and her friends get hurt. Especially by my rivals Vox and Valentino and other sinners and demons. I should be the one who decides what to do with them. Those who harm me or my associates would be in for a rude awakening.”

“Um,” said Cecelia. “You’re not gonna…you know…”

Oh, don’t worry, they’re still safe and sound at the hotel. I’m just taking a break. Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here…”

He paused…

“I would just get bored again later,” he said in a normal voice.

Cecelia and Brian looked at each other.

“What?” Alastor asked with a smirk. “You thought I was going to say something else?”

“The fans do love it when you’re creepy…” Brian mumbled.

“What was that?”

“N-nothing.”

Alastor held out his hands and a plate of shrimp, sausage, rice, and vegetables appeared on a small table that emerged from a small portal.

“Jamabalya?” he offered with a smile. “It’s my mother’s special recipe.”

The two demons dug in off screen while Alastor enjoyed the dish as well.

“Yes,” said Alastor after they had finished eating. “I’m affectionate with my friends, but I’m not into sex and romance. I assume that not many humans or you demons understand that.”

“Uh…yes we do,” said Cecelia, her voice trembling. “Yeah, I have a friend who’s not into romance…”

Alastor held up a hand. “Of course you wouldn’t. None of you would. Only I can understand my feelings and aversion to intimacy. My Creole heritage, my love of Hoodoo, Voodoo, the radio, and theater…the thrill and desperation when I hunted my own kind during the Depression…No. I’ll remain an elusive enigma to all of you.”

Part 4: “I’ll Tell You About The One I Truly Love”

“Is there…anyone you do love?” Cecelia asked.

“Like I said before,” Alastor mentioned, “I don’t care much for anyone in Hell. However…” His red eyes took on a faraway look, the shades of red descending into darker shades of red, until ending at black holes.

“I loved my dear mama with all my heart. Back when we lived together in New Orleans in a small house by the bayou not too far from town. Others called her by her name, Loretta Duvalier. Beautiful lady, dark skin, black curly short hair, loved to wear red cotton dresses and dapper hats.”

“Wow,” Brain breathed. “I didn’t know she had a name.”

Alastor scoffed. “I didn’t know you had an identity, but here we are. As a matter of fact, no one else knows what you and your friend look like. Even the camera doesn’t want to know.”

“Why you disoriented, deer-brained…”

Brain strained to lift up his arms in the darkness, reaching for the camera in vain.

“Goodness, don’t wear yourself out just yet,” Alastor chuckled. “I still have more to tell you!”

“You have no soul, redhead!” he sputtered out.

“That’s because I need live souls to warm me up,” Alastor retorted. “Be patient; you’ll be next soon enough.”

Brain stilled in defeat.

“That’s better. Moving on.”

He cleared his throat. “In case any of you are wondering what I looked like as a radio host and serial killer as a human…”

Morphing from shadow, was a black and white picture that appeared in Alastor’s hand. It briefly revealed colors. A young man grinned widely, wearing a white buttoned shirt, a sandy red shirt over the white one, dark gray pants and a black bow tie underneath his pointed chin. His hair was short and brown, with a faint reddish tint that sometimes shined in the light. Light brown skin, brown analytical eyes, and a pair of round glasses. He held a dark gray hand-held microphone in his right hand.

“I…thought you were white…” Cecelia added. “All the fan art and the comics say you are.”

“What exactly is ‘fan art?’” he asked. “You seriously want to believe what is portrayed in the human world? And just after an hour? You’re even more stupid than I thought.”

“I am part French, part Creole,” he continued. “My race and my personality were several reasons why I was bullied throughout my school years…and my working life. You two should be grateful to be getting these facts first hand. I almost never tell these to anyone.”

In a blink of an eye, Alastor walked over and twisted Brain’s arm hard.

A wailing wheezing scream followed a millisecond after the sickening crack. Moments later, he did the same thing with one of his legs. The demon yowled again.

“Heh, it seems that my stories cost you an arm and a leg to listen to,” he smirked. The smiling shadow spirit did the “ba dum tis” sound effect on the drums again.

“Anyway, back to my dear mother, Loretta. She once made a recipe for Jambalaya that nearly killed her. Mind you, this was before she died from an illness and I had her for dinner in despair. You see, several of the voodoo deities liked to consume rum, blood, and gunpowder in the legends. She had a bit too much Southern Comfort drink and she put gunpowder and wasabi sauce in the jambalaya. The stove was on and some of the powder exploded in her face. I warned her not to eat it, but she decided, with her face all charred, that she would taste test it. The wasabi sauce almost gave her a heart attack and I had to take care of her for a while. But when I tried the dish…it was so spicy and so splendid!”

He burst out into laughter.

“Oh,” said Brain, through pained gasps. “That’s what you meant when you said that her recipe nearly killed her and that the kick was right outta Hell.”

The shadow spirit did the drum effect again.

“That’s seriously getting annoying,” Cecelia complained.

“And so are you,” he retorted before continuing.

“My mom told me that her mother was a well-respected Voodoo Priestess and Hoodoo oral traditionalist. She followed in her footsteps, though like many women during the time, she worked in second-class jobs, not very well-paid. I remember her warning me not to delve too deep into the dark Loas and evil magic. She also said, “Never resort to cannibalism unless as a last resort.” Well, she only ate one human who had already died of starvation, and that’s when we had no food for several days. When it came to the Great Depression…it was both survival and the thrill that got me into cannibalism. Oh the irony!”

“W-where is she now?” Brain asked.

“In Heaven, of course. She went there because she was pretty much the only light in my human life. She comforted me after my father and uncle…took advantage of me. My father and uncle were sent to Hell for obvious reasons.”

His smile appeared strained.

“You know…it’s okay to show emotion other than happiness all the time,” Cecilia said.

“Frowning makes one weak,” Alastor replied. “Both my parents told me that. I’ll never forget mother’s saying she often used, “Always remember to smile, Alastor. You gotta appear confident and fully dressed to others.” I can see why she told me that, with the racism and the lavish-centered culture back then…”

“Will you ever get to see her?” she asked.

“Not with being stuck down here,” he replied. “Charlie’s whole plan of “redemption” is a big joke. But, since she’s nice enough, I still want to help her out…for entertainment, of course.”

“I bet you secretly want her plan to work so you can go back to Heaven to reunite with her!” Cecelia claimed. “He wants to dance with Charlie and love her forever and ever!”

“Or,” Brain countered. “He wants to lure her into a sense of false security so he can take over Hell and be king!” He spoke in a high voice, “Oh Charlie, if only there was someone who actually loved your hotel and ideas!”

Radio static filled the room. “Assumptions, assumptions,” Alastor growled. “I tell you facts about my life and here you go making up stories to fit your puny ideals! You’re even lower than the mortal humans. I’m usually very kind and patient…but I’m literally this close to ripping your eyes out and leaving your corpses for the voodoo imps to feed on.”

“.ti od ,erofeb dias I tahw s’thaT”

“That’s what I said before, do it.”

“Not now,” Alastor hissed to his shadow.

He turned back to them. “Only questions come from you two. Not another word, unless you want me to use your tongues for decoration.” His voice lowered. “You hear me loud and clear?”

Both interviewer demons nodded.

“Good. Now, let’s move forward.”

Part 5: “I’ll Describe Rosie and Mimzy, My Fellow Female Friends!”

Part 4: “About Charlastor…”

Part 5: “About RadioDust…”

Part 6: “Other shippings?”

Part 7: “Gender and race of my victims doesn’t matter”

#hazbinhotel #alastor #furbyorgan #radiodemon

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years ago

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I'm not sure if you've ever been asked this but (and this is totally ignoring all ethical questions)- do you think a yeerk could bring back Loren's memories from before the crash? They seem to have far more control of their host's memories than the hosts do...

First question: does Loren want her memories back?

Maybe this seems a little odd to ask, but… she’d be remembering a lot of pain and fear, maybe a few good-ish years where she’s with Elfangor or raising baby-Tobias, and a shitton of trauma. Losing your (traumatic) memories can actually be good for you. Psychiatrists are developing therapies using drugs and/or ECT to help patients with PTSD and phobias deliberately remove certain memories. The minuscule number of participants who have successfully completed the still-experimental versions of these therapies have seen considerable upticks in quality of life.

Setting aside the science for the sci fi, it’s also notable that Loren does not regain her memories when she morphs. We don’t know how morphing tech works precisely, of course, because it sometimes heals long-term damage and sometimes doesn’t. But my headcanon has always been that it has to do with user motivation and self-image. A couple examples:

Alloran still has battle scars even after morphing because he’s Mr. Old School Warrior Code, and considers them a point of pride.

Ax doesn’t develop battle scars during the war because he grows up in a constant state of siege as part of a team with a whatever-works mentality, and has little time for outdated conceptualizations of honor.

James’s nervous system starts working again after morphing because he wants to be nondisabled and sees himself that way.

Collette’s nervous system doesn’t start working again after morphing because she identifies as disabled and is happy that way.

Tobias can’t heal his broken wing with morphing in MM2 because he’s still new to morphing and struggling to break away from the predator mentality of “you get hurt, you tough it out or you die.”

Etcetera, etcetera. If we take that explanation as given for the moment, then it’s pretty striking that morphing heals Loren’s eyes but not her memories. She says outright that she didn’t want to take care of a kid, and doesn’t feel up to the responsibility of being a mother (#49). She’s also had 95% bad experiences with aliens, between being abducted by everyone from skrit na to Chapman and being dragged into some intergalactic war multiple times. Healing her eyes helps her get away from the ableism and underemployment facing most blind Americans; healing her memories doesn’t necessarily get her shit. She may or may not make a choice somewhere in there. And even if she doesn’t, there may simply be nothing left to find.

Second question: What would a yeerk know that Loren wouldn’t?

Yes, we see that yeerks read hosts’ memories. And it’s true that (at the very least) Temrash 114 can choose which of Jake’s memories Jake will focus on at any given time. However, we see no evidence whatsoever of yeerks having insight into hosts’ minds that the hosts themselves lack. In fact, the opposite might even be true; there are several moments with Eva pointedly using knowledge about Edriss that Edriss herself lacks (Visser) but Edriss simply doesn’t get Eva, nor does Temrash ever start to understand Jake. So if Loren doesn’t consciously remember these events, then there’s no sign that the yeerk would be able to do so either.

To swerve back into science: there’s also the fact that brains don’t “hide” memories that they’ve successfully stored. If you can’t retrieve it, usually there’s nothing left to retrieve. You can have a “feeling of knowing” about a test item and later have the answer come to you with no further prompting, but if you don’t even have that feeling, then you probably don’t have the answer stored anywhere in your noodle. Contrary to media depictions of amnesia (*cough* MM1 *cough*), there’s no such thing as a cure for traumatic amnesia. (Dissociative amnesia is another story, but I digress.) Loren sustains a blow to the head, either through a car crash or a violent controller or a violent controller-caused car crash, and that’s where her memories go. She tells Tobias that she had to re-learn how to swallow and brush her teeth afterward (#49). Re-learn, not remember. That’s a pretty accurate summation of traumatic brain injuries. Once the skills are gone, they’re gone. It turns out brains (probably) do grow new cells even through adulthood, and even hints of neurogenesis are SO FUCKING EXCITING for people like me who study brains. But the fact remains that memories destroyed through trauma are usually, well, destroyed.

Quick personal example: when I was 16, I got a concussion. How? No idea, because the concussion itself caused me to forget how it happened. I know I was skiing at the time — waking up on a ski slope with a dented-in helmet was a pretty strong context clue — but I’m never going to know if I misjudged a turn, slipped on ice, collided with a person, hit a tree, got struck by lightning (okay probably not that) or what. My brain went into emergency shutdown mode after I did the equivalent of spilling a soda on its keyboard, and the Microsoft Word document I had open at the time (AKA my working memory) didn’t have time to convert to ROM (AKA go through my hippocampus into long-term storage) in the process. What happens to Loren isn’t the equivalent of spilling a soda on one’s keyboard; it’s the equivalent of throwing the whole computer off a forty-foot building into the ocean. A skilled IT tech and a hell of a lot of work might get that thing running again, but if you think there’s a chance in hell that the family photos stored on your hard drive are gonna be found and restored, then you’ve got another think coming.

Tl;dr: Given what we know about real brains and about Your Brian on Morphing, I’m not convinced that a yeerk could help Loren if she even wanted help.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #loren fangor #ableism mention #neurology #morphing #asks #anonymous #please don't fucking at me about the electroconvulsive therapy #if all of your information comes from hollywood bullshit #if you're a trained practitioner well versed on the controversies then i'd love to talk #but i don't have time to debate with ignoramuses who have seen 'one flew over the cukoo's nest' one too many times #read the literature and then get back to me

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elescambray · 4 years ago

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Harry Hood

It may be controversial within the Tumblr world to out myself as a Phish fan. But amongst the band’s tight-knit community, I’m not exactly ruffling any feathers when I say that one of my favorite Phish songs is “Harry Hood.”

For the uninitiated, here’s an excerpt from the song’s history page on phish.net:

“In 1985, Mike, Fish, Page and friend Brian “Miles” Long lived in a house on King Street in Burlington, directly across from a regional Hood bottling plant. The plant’s pair of huge milk tanks bore Harry’s smiling face, his grin illuminated at night by streetlight. “Harry Hood” was inspired by its namesake, the signature character of the Hood dairy company’s advertising campaigns. The little animated milkman in the fridge would proudly rattle on about his company’s dairy products when the “unsuspecting” folks opened their icebox doors. But what happened to Harry when the refrigerator door closed? Brian Long was the first to ask the question that has passed the lips of virtually every Phish fan. “Harry! Harry! Where do you go when the lights go out?”

When Trey and Fish traveled to Greece in the summer of ‘85, they experienced a tumultuous series of events involving a sea storm, a capsized raft, and lots of super-clean “chemists’ reserve” LSD. Following their return to safety, Trey wrote several chunks of new music inspired by the adventure. Back at the King Street house, a former tenant apparently named Mr. A. Miner was still receiving mail. One piece caught the band’s collective eye, a form letter bursting at the seams with Miner’s name, telling him, “Thank You, Mr. Miner.” It is from these relatively nondescript circumstances that one of Phish’s most beloved songs was born. “

Lyrically speaking, it’s not quite “Tears In Heaven” level, but that’s Phish for you. But in my first actual post on this blog, I want to discuss what this song means to me. And maybe on a beach in Greece thirty-five years ago, Trey was thinking the same thing. Probably not, but who knows.

As a child, I remember playing this game. Closing the refrigerator door, while trying to catch the precise moment that the light goes out. Can I do both? In my parents’ fridge at least, this task seemed impossible. In “Harry Hood”, Phish poses the question: what does happen to the contents of our refrigerator when the door closes and the lights go out - specifically to this beloved dairy mascot?

The song first “clicked” for me while I was running on my local track in a torrential downpour. During the song’s triumphant peak, I left my body. I wasn’t affected by rain or fatigue or stress. I was gliding. It was then that my love affair with the song took root.

This experience in a way provides a basis for my interpretation. Maybe it’s my penchant for attributing deeper meaning to the mundane (perhaps unnecessarily so at times) and maybe it’s my affinity for the “psychedelic” way of thinking and line of inquiry it entails, but I take the song as an analogy for life.

In the context of the song, we are all “fridges” with a bunch of stuff inside of us. Fears, dreams, anxieties, cravings. Relationships and friendships, family, material possessions. But what happens “when the lights go out” - when all of that goes away? What are we left with?

And Phish has the answer: “Harry!”

During one of the sittings at a recent meditation retreat, a cartoon figure emerged to help me through a particular rough patch. My brain - who has been fed a healthy dose of cartoons and television over the years - rationalized this abstract concept and gave it a familiar shape: Jiminy Cricket.

In Pinocchio, Jiminy serves as the titular character’s conscience. While that was also my initial interpretation at the time, I now understand it to represent something that is equally difficult to pronounce for me (hell, I even conflate the two when speaking - even if I can explain how they are fundamentally different): consciousness.

When you strip away everything, what are you left with? Buddhists say nothing, I say, “Yes, but not quite”. Sam Harris posits that you are left with “consciousness and its contents.” I like that. Better still, if you’re like me and want things broken down in easier to digest chunks, you might prefer Phish’s response.

Awareness or consciousness or Harry Hood is all that we have. Beneath every layer of being lies something at the center. Western religions and - to a lesser extent if you really understand its teachings - Hinduism confuse this with an eternal individual soul. But consciousness does not have any attributes. Emotions, feelings, experiences - everything just arises within it. Within this nothing, everything appears. And we are just witnesses to it.

This could be deeply troubling to some. We cling to who we are as a person - our preferences, our grudges, our “qualities”. But we are not any of these things. At our core, we are consciousness. We are awareness. God is consciousness. God is awareness. Or, if you prefer to be agnostic and don’t like to drop the big “G”, feel free to use the double “H” instead.

All of us are sometimes caught in a storm - whether it’s on a track or out at sea. We all have to face the vicissitudes of life. Conversely, we all have things to celebrate. And they can be equally as harmful when we cling helplessly to such positive memories and experiences.

Beneath it all, there is something more real. There is a peace and tranquility that can be attained in fleeting instances. Or in prolonged experiences like my meditation retreat. Or on a particularly scenic hike. While running in the rain. While watching one of your favorite bands in concert at the most famous arena in the world. While goofing off with friends at a college house. While driving through pine-covered mountains that stretch as far as the eye can see.

You aren’t your emotions. You aren’t your experiences. Hell, you aren’t even your self as you understand it. You are awareness. You are consciousness. Nothing more.

While this is destabilizing to some, I argue that this alternative is better. Because when you break it down, after all the food spoils and the lights go out, there is something that is still there. There’s something that lies beyond all that. And every blissful note in a delicious “Harry Hood” jam is a reminder to me of just that.

That cartoon milkman is always inside of us. He doesn’t go away when it gets dark. He is always there. That peace is always there. We just have to train our minds to live from that place. A place where nothing can hurt us. Where we don’t always just live for the exhilarating, exciting moments. And if you live from this place - it might seem contradictory - but your life takes on new meaning. Colors feel brighter, love feels realer, your senses come alive, and music blossoms into a symphony of wonder and joy. You start living life as if for the first time.

And that is something that you can feel good about.

Favorite versions of “Harry Hood”: 12/29/2016, 8/2/1997, 2/28/2003, 10/23/1994. Comment below with your favorites!

#phish #harryhood #music #lyrics #jam #buddhism #hinduism #existentialism #concerts #essay

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hunnywrites · 5 years ago

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Arcade Dreams: Chapter Sixteen

Summary: There’s a new girl working at the Palace Arcade and Hawkins’ Family Video. Billy can’t stand her, and the feeling is mutual. No matter what everyone else seems to think.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: We’re gonna see good ol’ Brian Jean in this chapter! Here’s a bit of fun fluff because the next chapter is gonna be rough :)

Working at the Hawkins public pool really wasn’t that bad of a job. It was at this awkward point in time between Christmas break and the weather finally becoming warm, so there really weren’t too many people around aside from the occasional swim class. Teddi had been able to take on her own class finally. Every Saturday morning she taught a group of five year olds the basics, albeit not with the same instant success as Billy.

Her class had ended about half an hour before. A few of the kids were still splashing around in the shallow end while they waited for their parents to pick them up, and Teddi was perched up in the lifeguard’s chair waiting for her shift to come to an end. Then she could swing by her house and change, rent some movies from the video store and head over to Billy’s to help him with Max’s sleepover. All in all a pretty laid back day.

She noticed Brian Jean walking in. She ignored him. He was just there to pick up his brother, and he’d be out of her hair once again. Teddi didn’t feel any real resentment towards Brian. She hadn’t even wanted to go on that date in the first place. If anything she was more annoyed with Cheryl for ditching Billy to screw around with Brian. She didn’t really like Brian though. It was easy to see now that his whole nice guy act was just that: an act.

Teddi supposed Billy was a bit guilty of the same thing. He’d put on the charm whenever a cute girl was around. But the way Brian did it was a bit more...sinister somehow. Billy wasn’t really as unassuming as Brian was. Or maybe she was just mad that she hadn’t been able to see through it herself. She didn’t know. Billy was more upset than she had been about the whole thing. Once they got back to school Billy was nearly constantly trying to pick at Brian to get on his last nerve.

“I’m supposed to let him fuck with you and get away with it?” he had asked. “It’ll be fine, Ted. He’s a soccer player. I’m not afraid of him.” but it was more than that. Teddi didn’t want to Billy to solve all his (or her) problems with his fists. If he’d gotten in trouble for fighting it would’ve been a lot more than just being sent to detention where he could sneak out and no one would be any the wiser. He’d get suspended. And that would mean Neil finding out. And Teddi was not gonna be responsible for Billy having to deal with Neil over something so pointless.

Eventually he let it go after she had to actually forbid him from doing anything. Of course not after he keyed Brian’s car while they were in the parking lot after school waiting for Max. While Teddi definitely didn’t approve of it, she had to admit it had been pretty funny.

Unfortunately Brian still seemed pretty interested in her regardless of her attempts to ignore him. He was honestly starting to make her feel a little uneasy. He was just sitting there on the bleachers looking at her. God, just take your brother and go, freak, she thought. Teddi turned slightly in her seat in an attempt to get rid of the creepy feeling she had. She could maybe call Freddy over and tell him what had happened. He’d definitely kick Brian out. But that seemed so silly. She would just ignore him.

She let out a loud sigh of relief when she saw Katie headed her way. “Happy to see me?” she asked Teddi with a laugh.

Teddi climbed down from her chair. “You have no idea. I gotta get outta here. I’ll see ya later, Katie!” she threw a wave over her shoulder and nearly bolted for the locker room. She made quick work of changing. She could grab a quick shower at home. Whatever it took to make sure she could get out before Brian could corner her again.

Unfortunately that plan didn’t work out. “Uh, hey Teddi…” Teddi rolled her eyes, but didn’t stop as she walked past Brian. He followed after her. “C’mon, Teddi. Can I just talk to you for a second?” he asked.

“Fuck off, Brian.”

“I’m sorry about the party, okay? I was a dick. Can’t you give me another chance? Maybe we can get together for Valentine’s Day or something.” he offered.

Teddi stopped and turned towards Brian before she let out a heavy sigh. “Look, I know this might be hard for your tiny brain to process, but I’m not interested. I was never interested. I was just being nice. And you rewarded me by screwing my friend’s date and abandoning me. So, no. I don’t want to do anything for Valentine’s Day. I don’t want anything to do with you at all. So leave. Me. Alone.”

When Teddi said that Brian was dumb, she meant it. He was clearly incapable of reading very obvious signs. As Teddi turned once again to leave, Brian grabbed her by the arm. “I’m not done talking to you!” He pleaded.

Teddi wasn’t a violent person. She really wasn’t. She’d told Billy time and time again that violence wasn’t the answer. If anything this was her father’s fault. Brian grabbing her arm with the amount of force that he had sent a jolt of fear through her. It triggered her fight or flight senses immediately. But Brian wasn’t her father. She could fight back. So Teddi whirled around and sent her fist flying upwards towards Brian’s nose with as much force as she could manage. There was a sickeningly satisfying crack.

Brian let out a yowl and his hands flew up to his nose. “You bitch! You broke my nose!”

Teddi couldn’t help but let out a laugh. She pressed her lips together and covered her mouth to keep herself quiet. “I told you to leave me alone.” she said with a shrug and a smile. She didn’t care that everyone at the pool had seen. He deserved it. A few of the moms were watching in shock as Brian dabbed at his bloody nose, groaning and moaning to himself. Katie was stifling her laughter up on her chair and Freddy was at a loss of what to do. Teddi took that as her sign to leave.

She held her composure until she was safely in her van. “Jesus Christ.” she muttered, shaking her fist rapidly to try and get ring of the stinging feeling in her knuckles. The skin was red and irritated and she was sure that it would probably bruise. As bad as she may have felt for hitting Brian, she couldn’t lie and say it hadn’t felt a little nice. It would definitely get him off of her back from now on.

She just had to hope that she wouldn’t lose her job over it.

---

“Max, do you have to listen to that shit so loud?” Billy asked, shoving her bedroom door open. Neil and Susan had left about an hour before. Now Max and El were jumping on her bed, hair brushes in hand as they sang along to Total Eclipse of the Heart. He wanted to blow his brains out.

The pair stopped jumping almost simultaneously and looked at him. “What’s wrong with Bonnie Tyler?” Max asked.

El grinned. “Probably reminds him of Teddi.” she teased, her and Max falling into a fit of laughter.

Billy let out a groan. “Just turn it off. Or I’ll turn it off.” he warned, turning and stomping back down the hall towards the living room. The stereo shut off and the sounds of the two giggling girls quickly following after him filled the house.

“When’s she coming over anyways?” Max asked. “Did she get the movies? Did she say what she got? Is this like a date or something? We can go hang out in my room if it is.”

Billy ran a frustrated hand over his face. He didn’t think there was anything in the world more annoying than teenage girls. “I don’t know, Max. She just said that she’d be here after work. And it’s not a date. Can you two shut up with that already?” the two looked at each other and giggled almost as if they had shared some joke telepathically.

It was starting to get dark out. Teddi probably should’ve been there a few hours ago. He figured that it probably had something to do with what happened at the pool. Freddy had called him a little earlier to tell him. “Dude, you will not believe what happened. Teddi totally decked Brian Jean!”

Billy had only felt proud for someone that wasn’t himself twice in his life. The first was Max. He worked hard to make sure Max had a thick skin.That she wouldn’t take shit from anyone. And sometimes he thought it could be a little too thick. But that night at the Byers’ after he’d woken up back at home with bits and pieces of the night’s events coming back to him he could help but feel a little proud of the way she had stood up to him to protect her friends. He could have gone without her threatening to turn his dick into mush, but he was still proud.

He was definitely proud of Teddi. She was always so passive when it came to...well, anyone that wasn’t him. Always avoiding confrontation. And he understood it. It was an easier route to take at home. But when Freddy called him to say that Teddi had broken Brian’s nose he felt a huge wave of pride.

The doorbell rang, and Max jumped up to answer the door. Teddi was finally here. She had bags from Melvald’s and Hawkins Family Video hanging on her arm and she was balancing three pizza boxes in her hands. “Hey, Maxamillion! The party’s here!” Billy got up to help her with the pizzas as she handed the bags to Max. “There’s our movies and some candy. Mrs. Byers told me to tell you guys she said hi.”

Max and El both made quick work of dumping the bag of candy onto the floor in front of the tv as Billy and Teddi went into the kitchen. “So,” Billy began with a smirk. “How was work?”

Teddi froze for a brief moment. “...It was fine.” she said with a shrug.

Billy set the pizzas on the counter, leaning against it and grinning over at her. “Really? Nothing interesting happened?”

Teddi’s eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. “...What do you know?”

“Everything. Freddy called me about twenty minutes ago,” Teddi groaned. “Is that why you wanted me to stay away from Brian? You wanted to handle it yourself?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“No,” Teddi sighed. Billy watched as she fidgeted nervously in front of him. “I was just gonna ignore him, but then he grabbed me and...I don’t know. I think I might be wound a little tighter than I’ve realized.”

Billy held his hands up. “Wait, wait. He grabbed you? What do you mean he grabbed you?” the next time Billy saw Brian he’d have a hell of a lot more than a broken nose.

“I thought Freddy told you everything?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Apparently not. Why the hell would he grab you?”

Teddi let out another loud sigh and hopped up onto the counter. Her legs swung back and forth slowly as she picked at the hole in the knee of her jeans. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. He kept trying to ask me out so he could make up for the party. Something about Valentine’s Day,” Billy let out a snort and rolled his eyes. “But I told him I didn’t want to and he wasn’t taking fuck off for an answer…” she covered her face with her hands and let out a loud groan. “I just wish I hadn’t decked him in front of everyone.”

Billy scoffed. “I wish you had done a lot more than that. Too bad I wasn’t there to see it, though. I bet it was pretty hot.” he smirked.

Teddi bit down on her lip to keep herself from smiling. “You’re a bad influence, Hargrove.”

“You know it, Baby.” he grinned.

Teddi’s cheeks flushed a little before she hopped down from the counter and walked over to the pizzas. “I’m starving. I got a cheese for the girls and I got us two pepperonis since you put away food like a bottomless pit.” she teased.

Billy held up an arm, flexing and patting his bicep. He relished the way Teddi’s blush grew deeper. “Gotta feed the machine.”

She laughed. “The machine? Do you ever hear yourself? Oh, who am I kidding? I bet you love to hear yourself talk.” she giggled, sticking her tongue out at him and grabbing a slice of pizza.

His response was cut off by Max poking her head into the kitchen. “Can you guys stop flirting for two seconds so we can watch the movies? This is so boring.”

“Max…” Billy began.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up, Max.” she said in a mocking tone before disappearing into the living room. Teddi only smiled at Billy before she piled two more slices of pizza onto her plate and followed Max.

“Alright, so since El isn’t a big horror fan I picked up Midnight Madness and Splash,” Teddi announced. “And don’t even think about complaining, Hargrove. It’s three against one. Ladies night means we watch Splash.”

Billy groaned loudly and dramatically as he flopped down onto the couch. He’d rather tear his own eyes out than watch some chick flick. He’d sat through a few on dates, but it was a small price to pay to get to feel up whatever girl he’d taken out that week in the theater. And that definitely wasn’t gonna be happening with Teddi. Especially with the gruesome twosome around.

If he was honest El was probably his favorite out of Max’s friends. He still didn’t trust Lucas completely and Mike and Dustin annoyed the shit out of him. The Byers kid was okay. But there was something about him that gave Billy the creeps. El was quiet for the most part. She didn’t talk back like Mike always was (even though he was constantly trying to weasel rides all around town from him) and she wasn’t always babbling incessantly about all that weird nerd shit they all liked.

Still, Billy would’ve preferred it if the two of them weren’t there so he could try to put the moves on Teddi. Yeah, like that would work anyways, he thought bitterly. If all his flirting so far hadn’t worked, he definitely doubted that whole yawn and stretch trick would work on her like it did the other girls. So instead he crossed his arms firmly across his chest and pouted. He only moved to light up a smoke halfway through Midnight Madness.

That hadn’t been such a bad movie. He’d gotten a few laughs. He’d also caught Teddi watching him a few times whenever she knew a funny scene was coming up to see if he’d laugh or not. She almost looked proud each time he did. Like she had his approval.

Splash however...was a nightmare. God did he hate it. But he wasn’t surprised Teddi had picked it out. Some idiot finds a mermaid and falls in love with her. It had Weird Girl written all over it. They were about halfway through the movie when he finally complained. “This movie sucks,” he spat, a cigarette between his teeth. He lit it and tossed his lighter onto the coffee table. “You can’t even see anything! What’s the point of having her topless the whole damn movie if they’re gonna just cover her up?”

Teddi scoffed and gave his arm a soft shove. “Of course she’s not naked! There’s impressionable eyes in the room.” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Billy grumbled loudly.

Max turned to face the two of them with a smirk. “Yeah, Billy. Save your nudie movies for when it’s just the two of you.” she and El fell into a fit of giggles. Billy glared at the back of Max’s head. He grabbed a handful of the popcorn Teddi had made in between the two movies at threw it at the back of his step sister’s head. She only laughed.

He glanced over at Teddi. She was trying not to laugh herself. But her cheeks were flushed. She patted Billy on the shoulder. “It’s almost over,” she promised. There had only been about a half hour left. To Billy it had felt like ages. Max cracking jokes about how John Candy’s character was gonna be Billy in about twenty years definitely didn’t help either. When it was finally over Teddi stretched and fell back into the couch. Her head lolled over to look at Billy. The corner of his lips turned upwards. She smiled back at him.

“...I should get home,” she sighed. “I told my mom I was working an extra shift at the arcade. I don’t want her getting suspicious.”

Max and El whirled around. “What? You just got here!” Max complained.

“Max has board games!” El argued.

Teddi let out a whine like groan and scrunched up her nose. “Believe me girls, if I could sleep over I would. Maybe next time, okay? I’ll bring more chick flicks.” she grinned over at Billy. He rolled his eyes.

“How ‘bout you guys clean all this shit up, huh? And tell Teddi thank you for the movies.” God, he thought with a hint of disgust, I sound like Neil. Max and El both said their thank yous, hugging Teddi before running off into the kitchen with the remnants of popcorn and pizza.

Teddi returned both tapes to their cases and smiled over at Billy. “You gonna be able to handle them on your own?”

“Maybe...maybe I’ll sneak some nighttime cough syrup into their Cokes,” Teddi shot him a look and he waved a hand at her. “I’m kidding...thanks for this. Coming over and all.” he shifted nervously, his hands in his pockets.

Teddi shrugged. “It’s no problem. They’re fun kids. Plus I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I really enjoyed forcing you to watch Splash,” she laughed. Billy let out a short laugh. “I’ll see ya...probably tomorrow.” she said, her laugh a bit more awkward this time. Billy nodded and followed her to the front door. He opened it for her and gave an awkward wave.

“Later, Larsson.”

“Later, Hargrove.” she grinned, turning and making her way to the curb where her van was parked. Billy shut the door after her van disappeared down the street. El and Max were watching him from the hallway.

“Oh, Teddi I love you!” Max said in a deeper voice that Billy assumed was supposed to sound like him. She grabbed El by the shoulders. El laughed and matched Max’s movements.

“Kiss me Teddi!” she repeated in the same ridiculous tone before they fell into another fit of giggles.

Billy rolled his eyes and glares at the two girls. “Isn’t it time you little assholes go to bed?”

Max raised an eyebrow. “It’s ten o’clock, grandpa. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” She asked, taking El by the hand and pulling her down the hall to her room. He could still hear their laughter and he let out a groan, falling down onto the couch. He flipped on the TV and mindlessly flipped through the channels. He hated sleepovers.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x oc

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loyalflutist · 5 years ago

Text

Scarlet Carnation - Chapter 1 (F!Byleth x Edelgard)

Collaboration with @datsexykiwi

A/N: Thank you, everyone, for giving this series a chance! Here's Chapter 1. For the sake of our collaboration effort, my co-writer and I will be alternating through who writes the chapter. (i.e. Chapter 1 is mine, Chapter 2 is hers, Chapter 3 is mine, and so forth.) If it makes anyone feel better... her part is fluff. Hope you enjoy this chapter! I enjoyed writing it. :)

Kate’s A/N: Fluff comes later, but for now, suffer by the hands of this angst spikeball. By the way, chapter 2 is already done. ;)

----

Time is an intricate concept. It was amorphous, yet widely accepted as common knowledge. Alongside the topic of space, metaphysicist and scholars from various backgrounds ponder long and hard about it. Ordinary civilians and nobles too held the ability to muse about time. Everyone came to the conclusion that time is precious regardless of their statuses.

If one second is just as important, what impact does five years have?

The teal-haired evenly paced with the remaining Black Eagles; Edelgard led them around the monastery. Byleth felt the sun’s gentle rays brush upon her cheeks as her hues skimmed the premise.

Time is changing.

Everything stayed the same… almost. Destructions left piles of broken structures. Patches of grasses that happily grew at its own pace were deliberately scorched into fine particles. Classroom furniture and materials unfit for use were clumped into one heap. Additional wooden frames and ballistic weaponries plagued the surviving blueprints of the monastery. Students that once brought childish joy to the premise now introduce maturity with heavy hearts. Small chatters mulled in the background. They all came from Ferdinand, Dorothea, and Petra. Soldiers that they passed by sealed their lips at the sight of their ruler and a familiar figure. Some had the guts to even make remarks about the ex-mercenary during their presence!

“Hey, isn’t that Lady Edelgard and the Professor?”

“Yeah… wasn’t she supposed to be dead though?”

“I’ve heard.”

“Speaking of that, I was told that Brian and his friends were patrolling the outskirts when they were attacked this morning!”

“What?! By who?”

“A ghost.”

“...are you serious?”

“I am serious.”

“Oh, please. It was the Professor who knocked them out.”

Whispers eventually became audible enough to reach their ears. Not that the soldiers, visiting civilians, and staff cared much about it. If they had the chance, they would gather into one of the lecture halls and engage in heated debates! Plenty of them shared theories about the teal-haired. Some describe her as a supernatural force. Some admit that she is a hallucination. Others were hopeful for her visitation.

It was all a blur. No abstract art could capture this moment. Byleth’s jawlines became prominent as weights like sandbags were chucked on her shoulders. If she were to be honest with her feelings, she wants to find her private quarter, hole up in there, and never come out.

“I think I understand how Bernadetta feels.”

“Professor?” Edelgard glanced over at her professor. She blinked. Then, the older woman faintly smiled and looked elsewhere. “Don’t worry. I will clear up the confusion.”

“You will?”

“Of course. I’m the emperor.”

Ordinarily, Byleth would reach out and ruffle Edelgard’s hair. She would allow her fingers to run through the white locks as a cheeky smile flash.

“Aren’t you a good girl.”

Or so she would say. Instead, she felt the corner of her lips twitch. It wouldn’t be right. She cannot do that. A tender act between a teacher and a student doesn’t exist anymore. The fact that this student, who was once a house leader, who exclaimed about a monstrous desire for gorging on sweets, is now a guiding light for these souls.

Edelgard is not little anymore. She’s become a big girl-- No… She’s become a mature woman fit to lead her nation. Edelgard is now an emperor.

“...”

Byleth pressed her fingernails against the palm of her hands; a tinge of regret settled in her stomach. There was that promise she’s made with Edelgard…

Alas, her thoughts came to an abrupt screech once Petra placed a hand on her shoulder. The Brigid princess diverted her mentor’s attention to basic observations. Light-hearted stories of her interaction with the increasing number of foreigners and refugees on the monastery’s ground. It appears that she and Dorothea were quite popular with the children! Though from the corner of her eyes, Byleth’s hues caught a glimpse of the pair holding hands. Fingers intertwined, the songstress squeezed her comrade’s hand.

‘ ...Have they always been this close before? ’

Anyhow, they continued to traverse throughout the monastery’s ground. Much to Byleth’s optimism, most of the features she frequents were intact.

“I know you love gardening, Professor, so I’ve been trying my best to keep all of the plants watered,” Dorothea twirled her index finger in the air; a wink accompanied her action. “I took extra care with the scarlet carnation you and Edie have planted together.”

Planted? Byleth tilted her head, eyebrows arched.

‘ I planted a flower with Edelgard…? ’

Something wasn’t adding up. Her brain scrambled through its memory bank. It tossed and pulled on various sectors, only to no avail. The ex-mercenary rested a hand on her temple. She furrowed her brows. Without a memory of the past, we cannot operate in the present or think about the future. If her perseverance results in blanks, then how was she supposed to answer to the songstress?

“If it weren’t for you, I’m sure those flowers would have died five years ago,” Edelgard answered in her stead. She shot a glance at her teacher. There was that brilliant radiance from the noble’s direction again. “Isn’t that right, Professor?”

“...I don’t remember planting them. Not with you.”

Edelgard chuckled and temporarily cupped her own chin. “You must have forgotten. I can’t blame you as you were considered dead for five years.”

‘ Dead… ’

The tendons on her neck bulged, her pulse visible. She will never get used to hearing that terminology. Though they were uttered plenty of times when she was a mercenary and as an instructor, she never had the status badged on herself. Even if her ears are probably lying to her, the word “death” associated with “Byleth” was unreal. She moistened her dry lips.

‘ This is unsettling. ’

They entered into the shed. One of the two caregivers bowed to the group. When they spotted Byleth, their eyes widen, but silence followed. Whether it was out of respect or fear, Byleth was unable to determine the cause. At least she did not have to deal with the cannibalistic gossips.

“Professor, I think you should see them for yourself.”

Edelgard took ahold of Byleth’s hand. She carefully guided the taller female deeper into the structure. Ferdinand, Dorothea, and Petra exchanged looks. The male rubbed the back of his head with a nod. As if on cue, the other members of the Black Eagle Strike Squad from behind dissipated from the area. Responsibilities may not go anywhere, but time is unforgiving. Besides, the three unanimously agreed to let Byleth catch up with their ex-house leader alone. Nothing hurts more than being likened to a buzzing fly.

As they slipped away, Byleth slowed to a stop once she saw the flower. Scarlet carnation. A sense of familiarity, yet she continuously drew nothing from her memory bank. It was as if her instincts told her that this was a reunification necessary for both her and Edelgard.

“It’s pretty.”

Blunt compliment flung out of the teacher’s mouth. Edelgard’s ears perked as she leaned down to scrutinize the object of interest. The emperor’s fingertips soon brushed amongst the petals; her eyes were fixated on the plant.

“It has grown strong since the day we have planted.”

“Was it weak before?”

“You could say that,” the white-haired retracted her hand. “It was the slowest out of all the flowers we’ve grown, no matter how much we fertilize and water.”

“A flower that blooms the latest blooms into the most beautiful flower of them all.”

Edelgard chuckled. “I never expected to hear that from you, my teacher.”

“...”

Perhaps it was for the best that she lacks the ability to showcase her emotions. The inner turmoil would repel the Edelgard if it ever manifested. Conservant recollection stained the carnations. Byleth clenched her fists. How could she ever forget? Those were the words not only her father echoed, but she echoed too. Her first friend outside of her seclusion from the mercenaries. The first friend she’s made… Who was it? Violent, black ink actively scribbled on the child as the small Byleth took their hand. Just… who was it?

“It was something I told someone when I was young.”

Alas, the past is the past. There is no point in mulling over an event that no one could confirm. Maybe she should ask her father, Jeralt, about it. Speaking of Jeralt… Burning questions that boiled her inside threatens to leak into her other organs. It has already reached her fast-beating heart, her respiration for her lungs, and constricted parts of her stomach. Too many needs to be asked about the five-year gap. When they bid their farewells to the caregivers and parted from the shed, Byleth opened her mouth.

“I have been meaning to ask this, but where is Caspar, Bernadetta, Linhardt, and Hubert?”

“...”

The goddess must’ve pressed the pause button. The alumni had stood a few steps beyond her teacher. Standing on the brief stairways that connected the pathway of the dormitory grounds and garden, Byleth bore her eyes onto the girl’s back. Edelgard’s shoulders were tense. Back stationary, the white-haired uttered her answer.

“Caspar betrayed us.”

Caspar? That boy? The one who playfully slugged Byleth’s shoulder with every chance he’s got? The hardworking student who trained almost every day in the training ground? The noble sensitive to those he’s surrounds with?

Impossible.

That’s impossible.

Improbable.

Ridiculous.

“...that’s not right.”

Edelgard finally turned around. Those eyes were not shining. It was like a plastic doll, eyes dazed and distant. It looks as though her consciousness may have been elsewhere at this moment. Were they in her head? Or were they somewhere else? She faintly smiled as her dead gaze fixated on Byleth’s. Articulations and connotations dripped with pure disgust.

“It’s the truth. He is now fighting for Dimitri.”

“Dimitri…”

“I’ve only told you a bit about the conflict, did I?” her eyes clouded. “He has joined the Kingdom of Faerghus.”

Further explanation came to light. Ever since Byleth’s unofficial vacation into the black world for five years, Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude waged war with each other. The one who initiated was none other than Edelgard von Hresvelg. She and the Black Eagle Strike Squad led the battalions into a gruesome conflict to take over the Officer’s Academy. Various members of the Knights of Seiros blockaded their pathway. Fountains of blood littered the premise. Cries for numerous deities and reasons tarnished the atmosphere. Soundwaves from projectiles and crumbling features shook the ground. It was a complete nightmare. Yet it was not for naught. Byleth was a key player just like Rhea was a key player to the church.

Rhea and other members of the Church of Seiros joined hands to defeat Edelgard. Claude acts as a middleman. No one from his side dares step foot into the rising tension with no threshold. Unfortunately, his shrewd nature paints a different light on the Leicester Alliance. Half of his nation is divided into those who support the Kingdom of Faerghus and those who support the Adrestian Empire. Winning his people over would be an impossible feat.

She must have bonked her head so hard in the battle if she could not recall ANY of these details.

“Caspar did not agree with my tactics, so he formally told me that he was leaving,” Edelgard forcefully chuckled. “Perhaps the same could be said for Bernadetta and Linhardt.”

“They also joined Dimitri?”

“Fortunately, no. Reports from our scouts told us that they are in the Leicester Alliance. It’s likely that they are seeking shelter for the past five years.”

It should have been a relief. That should have soothed the powerful organ that savagely rapped upon her chest plate. In lieu, Byleth felt her mind transcend her physical self and watched the dissolvement of her former students. Caspar, Bernadetta, and Linhardt… She gulped.

“What about Hubert?”

Edelgard’s beam faltered; her body radiated the exact opposite of confidence in aura.

“...he died.”

“...”

‘ This has to be a nightmare. ’

She wished to know more about his death. Alas, that would not be wise. A shadow had washed over the emperor’s features. The man who wholeheartedly devoted faith and affection to his princess… the man that fought together with her… the man’s true nature of remaining as her loyal servant… it was gone in a puff of smoke… and the older woman was not there to witness it.

“I… didn’t know.”

“It’s natural you don’t know. I bet you didn’t even know that we have Leonie, Sylvian, and Lysithea with us either.”

Leonie Pinelli and Lysithea von Ordelia from the Golden Deer House. Sylvain Jose Gautier from the Blue Lions House. Those were some surprising addition to the empire’s war efforts.

“Your father had also died.”

The teal-haired immediately placed a hand over her chest. Her vision began to strobe in and out as more information poured into her skull. There was also the news of her father’s death… Jeralt. Her throat tightened and her breaths shortened. She barely kept ahold of her heartbreak. Oh, Jeralt! The very person who had raised her since she was an infant! He had been slain by none other than Those Who Slither in the Dark! She squeezed her chest, nails scraping at the metallic plate.

“...”

She wanted to say something. Byleth’s knees nearly gave in and almost made her crumple into a disheveled heap. Not only was she absent for Hubert’s death, she was also absent for the person she calls family. Her jawlines were prominent as she rapidly blinked. How could she have forgotten? Whatever she had done in the previous battle, she shouldn’t have been careless! This vital fragment of memory should have never been forgotten!

Then, a singular chortle slipped from the other’s direction.

“Everyone is leaving me.” A solemn tear fell down Edelgard’s cheek; her body looked calm despite how tangled her mind was. The false grin became unbearably wider as shaky waves of laughter were produced in abnormal intervals. “Even you.”

“!”

Byleth immediately reached out for Edelgard. Without thinking, she pulled the girl into a tight hug. Was it to comfort the student? Or was it to comfort herself? Arms wrapped around the red noble, she brought her hand up to the girl’s head. She pressed the woman against her chest as close as possible.

“I’m sorry, Edelgard.”

“You think an apology is enough…?” she buried her face into the ex-mercenary’s bosom. The red fingers curled inward, digging the armor’s tips into Byleth’s back. Edelgard shook her head slowly. “I’ve waited five years for you. Five years…!”

“I’m sorry…”

“Do you know how much you’ve hurt me?”

“I’m so sorry…”

“It hurts...! It really hurts, Byleth!”

“I’m… so sorry…”

Agony. Sorrow. Scars. Those five years felt like hours. Those five years felt like centuries for her. Hot torrents of grief coursed down the girl’s face as her sobs became apparent.

“I’m scared of being alone again…”

Byleth felt tears prickle from the corner of her eyes. She was never one to cry. No matter the circumstances, nothing tickled her lacrimal glands. Not even the deaths of her mercenary comrades would cause her to shed a tear. The sight of her star student melting into a blubbering mess succumbs into an irresistible temptation to collapse. Accompanied by the horrific news of Jeralt’s fate?

‘ Why…? ’ A subdued choke crawled past her lips. ‘ Why did I wake up to this nightmare? ’

As much as a great tremor overtook her, Byleth avoided confrontation with her own emotions. At least, for now. The shivering young lady in her grasp needed her. It would do them no good to have the two shatter into pieces at the same time. There would be no one to pick up the shards. Soft, tender hushes traveled to the noble’s eardrums as she quickly rubbed her back.

“I didn’t mean to leave you alone…” Byleth chewed her lips. “I won’t leave you alone ever again.”

None dared to move from their position. Passing soldiers and comrades spotted the two but respectfully left them to their own devices. Even Ferdinand, Dorothea, and Petra, who peered from the corner in secrecy, felt their heartstrings tug. Just like Edelgard, they wished for their Byleth to return to the monastery. The loss of their professor damaged their morales. Who knew how important the teal-haired was to their life? However, none of them were as devastated as Edelgard herself.

Rumors of her insanity held some truth to it.

A wild beast in vermillion traveling all over Fodlan. Missions granted to students like Sylvain and Leonie expanded their search in enemy territories. Frequent visitation of the historical battle between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros at Garreg Mach Monastery’s outskirts were made personally by the noble. Feminine howls instilled with misery spread across the desolated premise. Morales was driven even harder into the dirt as the war’s stalemate prolonged.

Describing this as a nightmare was an understatement.

Ferdinand lips curved downward.

What would have happened if she did not return…?

“I’m afraid Lady Edelgard would have to step down if our professor did not return,” Ferdinand mumbled to his friends indirectly. “As her advisor, if she were to continue on this pathway, I would have to forcefully remove her.”

“Thank goodness for our teacher. I wouldn’t want to see that.”

“I agree with you, Dorothea. Had the professor not come, perhaps we would have many troubles for the future.”

“What are you three doing here?”

“!!!”

Behind them, an older woman crossed her arms. Shamir sharp gaze pierced their vulnerable sides as they slowly turned to look at her. Not that they had much of a chance to fully see her. The mercenary hovered over their squatting figures. She shot a glance around the corner. A faint “huh” was heard.

“So, the professor did come back…”

The woman, who was once known as the Knights of Seiros, betrayed the organization for the sake of following one person: Byleth. She would even leave her trustworthy companion, Catherine behind. Bickers, competitions, ridiculous story time from Catherine, lustful nights they’ve shared… Those were all gone in a single day. Shamir kept her features firm as she muttered,

“You are an interesting one.”

The four eventually slithered back to the background as Byleth and Edelgard shared a private moment. It was a well-deserved reunion for the two.

[ Some time later… ]

“I knew you would come back, Professor.”

Sylvain’s weary smile formed as Edelgard and Byleth were approached by the tall male.

After the two had separated from the hug and spent a tender moment of easing each other’s worries, the warrior squeezed into their bubble. Alongside with him, there was Lysithea and Leonie. Almost as if on cue, the orange-hair leaped forward. She immediately tackled the ex-mercenary with a large grin. A small “oof!” came from Byleth’s mouth as her back collided with the dormitory ground’s pavement. Stars temporarily swam in her vision as the grown student squeezed her.

“I knew you would come back!” she exclaimed. “It would be a shame to have my rival stay dead.”

“Leonie! That isn’t how you should greet our professor!” Lysithea came between the two. Almost in a comedic fashion, she tore them apart from each other with a scowl. “I swear, I don’t know how to deal with people like you. Are you okay, Professor?”

“...”

Streaks of memories were aroused. Lysithea, Leonie, Sylvain… They haven’t truly changed, have they? She nodded to the white-haired and propped her upper body up. Three of them… even in the heart of war, even with their betrayal to their nations, how could they be so... cheerful?

Almost as if he had read her mind, the young man walked over to his mentor. He extended his hand.

“It’s because of you and your decision to stay with Lady Edelgard. We trust in your judgment more than our own house leader.”

After acceptance and a pull, the two were in close proximity. Like the gentleman he is, he brushed off any debris from her shoulders. Sylvain’s other hand eventually held a part of her hair’s end; his fingers slowly letting them fall back to her shoulder bit by bit. His eyes narrowed.

“I’m surprised that your hair went back to normal… Not that I didn’t like your old look. I actually prefer your original color.”

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, you’re right! Did my rival hate her new hair?”

“Ugh, I doubt that’s the reason why.”

‘ They’re talking about my hair again... ’

Before she could ask, a familiar figure entered into her field of vision. An older male cupped his chin, a book held in his other hand. Incoherent mumbles resonated from his throat as the staff headed in the direction of his office. His next step after the last froze mid-air. Slowly, the gray-haired individual cocked his head towards Byleth and Sylvain. His eyes nearly boggled from its socket; the person making a quick adjustment to his monocle.

“Ah-- Professor Byleth… After five, long years, you’ve finally returned to us.” That voice belonged to no one other than the researcher, Hanneman. Edelgard, Sylvain, Lysithea, and Leonie ceased their exchange at his presence. Once again, as if on cue, the three alumni outside of the Black Eagle House left; the other half were left behind. Hanneman beamed as he neared Jeralt’s child. “Can’t say that I’m not happy about that news. It’s been a while since we’ve last had any positive news.”

“It has been five years, or so I have been told.”

“You are correct. Though I must say, you do seem a bit different than I remember.”

“?”

What could he mean by that?

“Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I sense that you--”

“Professor Hanneman, I apologize, but I remember we have an urgent matter to attend to.” Abrupt. Straight to the point. Edelgard was known to be a hot knife slashing through butter. In this case, Hanneman was the butter. Byleth glanced over at the emperor. Stoic, ruthless, and displeasure were displayed on her facial features. It contradicted the image that Byleth had of her when she was a student. “I suggest you return back to your research.”

Truly a ruler to lay one’s life to.

Hanneman let out an amused hum. “Very well. If you insist.” His eyelids closed as he directed a smile at the teal-haired. “You have a good day, Professor.”

“...”

‘ If only Sothis was here… ’

Questions may have been answered about the gap, but there were still potholes to fill in. Although it may be impossible to cover all grounds, the next best course of action is to have as many of them treated in one day. Unfortunately, it seems that Hanneman was unable to deliver his theories to the teacher. Perhaps she should stop by his office sometime tomorrow. A faint huff came from the instructor.

“Is there something wrong with my hair?”

Edelgard raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“They kept mentioning that it was different before. Did I… Did someone dye my hair while I was asleep?”

“When you were bestowed with the powers from Sothis, your hair color had changed.”

Ah, that was right… Edelgard confirmed that Sothis’s disappearance was because she had lost her abilities with the green-haired. There was an issue with this explanation, though. Byleth had absolutely zero memory as to how she received power from the female she could only sense. If she went along with the noble’s line of reasoning, she should have been able to see Sothis by now, right? The alternate hypothesis had to be rejected due to the results.

Byleth rubbed her temple.

This was incomprehensible. News of Hubert’s and Jeralt’s deaths was beyond depressing enough. Now she had lost Sothis, and has no idea how she was flung to the future by five years. Just how perplexing can this situation get?! A migraine might just knock on her door anytime now…

“Professor?”

She snapped back to reality. The ex-mercenary’s eyes trailed over to the white-haired. Concern scribbled all over the woman’s face. This prompted the professor to retract her hand and shook her head.

“I was just thinking.”

“Thinking?”

“Yes. However, I’m afraid I might get a headache if I do so.”

“I, uh, see…”

“Anyway, what was this urgent matter we have to attend to?”

“Oh, it wasn’t THAT urgent.”

“...”

There goes that signature blank guise. The noble could not help but ease her tense shoulders. Then, she took ahold of the older woman’s hand.

“There is something we can do.”

“?”

“Say, it has been a long day for you. I know you might be tired, but would you like to have some tea with me before it gets dark?”

“Of course.”

A genuine smile blossomed on Edelgard’s face. If she could sparkle, it would illuminate the entire ground with its bright rays! Maybe it might blind Byleth’s sight too! Alas, it must be a blessing that no one possesses such nonsensical abilities. Besides, there was nothing wrong with having a little downtime. Today was an eventful day. From waking up in the outskirts of the monastery to gaining newfound knowledge of the incidents that transpired, it was a lot to take in in less than 24 hours.

The older female was taken to her own dormitory room. Usually, tea parties and private conversations were held in the field outside of the cafeteria. However, this evening was a little different. It had to be hosted elsewhere, lest they be noticed by the others. The professor may have been generally accepted by her students, but it did not mean the same for patrolling soldiers and guards. Blatant gossips would ruin a sweet moment yearned by the emperor.

Everything was still intact in her room. Destruction from the mission to reclaim the premise left the dormitories mostly untouched. To her pleasant surprise, Edelgard mentioned that she and Lysithea would take turns cleaning and tidying her bedroom. (Were they clean freaks?) Not a single centimeter of dust or debris were spotted on her supplies and furniture. At least that shaved off the rest of her evening for their sudden tea time.

“It’s surreal to have you by my side once again,” Edelgard remarked. White teacup in both hands, she allowed the steam to lazily waft into the air, her eyes fixated on her mentor. “I can only hope this doesn’t end up as a dream.”

On the mattress, Byleth lowered her cup after a sip.

“It’s surreal to have fallen asleep for five years. I hope that it is a dream.”

“You tease.”

The two females chuckled as they returned back to their drinks. Silence tailed afterward, but only momentarily.

“As you well know, I’m perfectly capable of commanding the army by myself,” the noble confessed; her thumbs rubbing among the porcelain's surface. “However, when you’re around, it’s somehow different.”

“?”

“I’m… not sure I can properly explain it. I suppose your perspective on the battlefield is simply sharper than mine--”

“You don’t need to beat around the bush.”

“Huh?”

“I know how much you’ve missed me… and I miss you too.”

There was a pregnant pause. Not even five seconds completely ticked by when redness flushed to Edelgard’s cheeks. Although her ears were hidden behind the new hairstyle and horned crown, it was obvious that they were rosy as her face. Words might express many types of emotions and might clarify them. Ergo, it might not be necessary. The vermillion female said plenty with her body. Byleth shifted her gaze away from the noble and took another sip.

“I’ve been meaning to ask this, but… you seem different.”

The remark almost instantly cooled off the heat from her face.

“I do?”

“Yes.”

“...”

Byleth forgot that her face hardly showed signs of context to her emotions. She hastily added,

“...I meant, in a good way.”

A deep and long audible breath exited out of Edelgard’s mouth. She lowered the cup and shook her head; the color pink now splashed upon her features.

“Don’t scare me like that, Professor! I thought you were disappointed in me.”

“Nonsense. Why would I be disappointed in someone that has grown up to be a beautiful emperor?”

This flirt--! Whether she was aware of it or not, Edelgard surmised she was the latter. One hand was brought up to conceal parts of her face as she mumbled incomprehensibly. Byleth is a sly woman. A really sly woman… and this is part of her that she so dearly misses.

“Still, I’m afraid I broke our promise.”

“Promise?”

Byleth nodded.

“You don’t remember? I promised to be with you when you become an emperor.”

“...I must’ve forgotten.”

How the tide has turned. Now, it was Edelgard who had forgotten about it. It was a promise that Byleth would never let it slip. Then again, it would be unfair to compare her memory lapses with Edelgard’s. Their circumstances were far too drastic to level out. Still… Byleth’s knuckles whitened as she placed the cup aside on a nearby nightstand.

“I’m sorry I missed your inauguration.”

“...That’s okay.”

A wave of drowsiness abruptly slammed into the older woman. The teal-haired felt herself yawning. She stifled it, only for the burst of air to create a strange sound effect from her trembling lips. Edelgard rose her brows and widened her hues. Shortly afterward, she began to heartfully laugh.

“Perhaps it is time we call it a day, my teacher. It has gotten dark outside.”

She was right. Their conversations, which felt like mere minutes, turned out to last until the sun fully settled. Stars twinkled in the distant as the noble got up from the mattress. She gently placed it on the same nightstand and smiled broadly.

“Good-night, Byleth.”

“Wait.”

Right when the white-haired cracked open the wooden barrier, Byleth came from behind and wrapped her arms around the student. Coziness trickled into both members as their heat was mutually shared. She rested her chin on the girl’s shoulder, her dark hues eyeing her reaction. Edelgard retained the discoloration on her cheeks; her irises flickered to the source.

“...Professor, I hope you understand that I cannot stand here forever.”

“I know.”

A squeeze. Then, she broke her hold on the ex-house leader. Regrettably, the warmth mellowed out. She glanced over her shoulder and watched her tactician wave.

“Sleep well, Edelgard.”

That was the last she saw that night. The door clicked closed and it separated the two apart. Metallic footsteps clomped on the ground until it fades into nothingness. For Byleth, she felt another yawn incoming. A deep inhale was made, and it was followed by a long exhale. She hardly bothered to cover it up.

‘ I think I should take a bath before sleeping. ’

There was a nearby sauna to many of the staff and students shock in the past. Now that it was occupied by the military from the Adrestian Empire, the number of participants in cleansing their soul and body should decrease. Byleth rummaged through her chest and, thankfully, found the necessary items for a deep wash.

‘ I wish I could’ve invited Edelgard. ’

Maybe that could be for tomorrow. After speaking to Hanneman about the matters he wanted to mention, it would be perfect to take a bath with the royal woman. It has been far too long since she had last helped each other wash. (Mostly due to Edelgard’s fear of showing off her experimental scars and surgeries from her past.) Byleth shrugged her shoulders, hung her large overcoat on the door, and walked out of her dormitory room.

‘ Still… I can’t believe I’ve leapt five years into the future… I wonder what Sothis would have to say about that? ’

Meanwhile, as Byleth satisfied her sanitary and sleepy demands, Edelgard promptly returned back to her dormitory room. Located on the second floor, the nobles were always granted the grandiose bedrooms commoners yearn for. They had to differentiate themselves between the lower class. It did not matter what sort of relationship they had with each other. They were of different leagues, and many made sure to make that distinguishable.

The hallway was empty. Ferdinand, who was the only other occupant, is currently absent. Perhaps this is an act from the heavens. Edelgard prefers not to answer his interrogative questions. At least, for now. It would be impossible to run away from his curiosity and uncertainty about Byleth.

Byleth

Clothes stripped, armors hung, and weapons deposited to their rightful place, she flopped on the mattress. Its soft materials easily cushioned her weight as she shifted. The young lady eventually laid on her side. A small candle lit the corner of her bed. Nearby, there was a dark overcoat. Close inspection reveals the necessity for stitches and improvement over its patchwork.

Byleth

Her fingers dug into the cloak as her white blanket draped over her naked body. Edelgard began to toy with one of the loose threads from the overcoat; the object of interest twirled in-between her index and middle. Reminiscence of her past with her professor crawled vividly in her mind. The warm touch, the hand-holding, the comforting embrace… She dryly swallowed.

“Byleth… ” she buried her face into the thick material. Patches close to her eyes moistened as a burst of exhale slipped past her lips. “Byleth, I miss you so much...”

#loyalflutist #datsexykiwi #scarlet carnation #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #chapter 1 #fan fic #fan fiction #collaboration #edeleth #mentions of four new characters mwahahahaha #series

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fluffyunicornofdanger · 6 years ago

Text

Living a Little Part 3

A/N: This took a while because I was having a tough time writing and all that. The fourth part should be out in a week or two. @waymorecake4me and @rogertaylorsbitontheside have been a big help with this series. And I’m so glad to be able to bounce ideas off of them. I will have a few one-shots out soon and I will be posting something more about that to see which one you guys want to be done first. Requests are open for headcanons and one-shots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

70s!John Deacon x Reader

Summary: You get dragged out of your comfort zone by your roommate, even though she knows you never go out, due to your studies, to a rock concert. Of all places. But maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all, when you met a very interesting, certain bassist. And he just so happens to find you interesting too.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Language

The studio was buzzing with music as John walked down the corridor.

After his date with Y/n, he had to go get his car checked out because it was making weird noises. It sounded like he was running over rubber ducks, but when he would stop and get out to check, there were no ducks in sight. Roger told him that he didn’t need to go see a mechanic, but John was done listening to his advice when it came to cars as Roger was the last one to mess with the tires and therefore it was his fault. But no matter who’s fault it was, it had caused John to be a few hours late to recording. Something Freddie never liked despite, always being late himself.

He stopped in front of a door where the music was coming from, brushing his hair behind his shoulders before he wrapped his hand around the door handle, quietly trying to sneak it open. Apparently he hadn’t been quiet enough though, as the eyes of Roger and Freddie turned to him, both full of excitement. They rushed from their chairs and were jumping around John within seconds and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. It was a little overwhelming.

“How was the date? Did you like the restaurant? Tell me about the tea,” Freddie rambled on as Roger scoffed at the questions. He clearly had something else in mind.

“Better question is did you two shag? Was she good? How about her arse?,” Roger inquired, earning a groan from Brian who sat in a chair at the far end of the room, trying to focus on his book.

“Now, what kind of questions are those Roger!?!” Freddie turned to the blonde, swatting his shoulder. “It’s not like you’re going to get with her!”

John watched as Roger turned to Freddie, ready to throw an insult at him. The looks that washed over their features were ones that both John and Brian had witnessed before. They always meant the two friends would be bickering back and forth for hours, no end in sight. John slipped passed them as Freddie brought up something that Roger had broken the day before.

They were such children.

Brian gave his friend a sympathetic smile, shutting his book, as he patted the chair next to him, inviting the man to sit with him. He didn’t plan on bombarding John with questions, at least not the ones that Freddie and Roger asked. There was much more to a date than tea and sex, something the two couldn’t wrap their heads around.

John fell back into the chair, blowing his hair out of his face. “Do they ever stop?” He gestured to Roger and Freddie, who had since moved their argument to the sound booth. Thank god.

Brian shook his head, curls bouncing about. “I don’t think they ever will,” he let out a sigh before turning to his friend. “How was the date? You seemed rather happy before they jumped you.”

John let out a light laugh, thinking about his date with Y/n.

It had been one of the most amazing dates he had ever been on. Freddie and Roger wouldn’t have liked that answer very much as he hadn’t been on many dates. Girls just didn’t flock to him like they did to his friends, but he was perfectly okay with that. After just one date, just one hour of talking, his heart was telling him that she was the one. Of course, his brain didn’t want to believe it, finding holes in the whole thing, but that didn’t stop him from feeling warm inside. It didn’t stop him from feeling like he had known her forever when they had only just met two days before.

John could still see the way that Y/n circled her fingers around the rim of her cup as he told her the story about Roger and Freddie ganging up on Brian. But there was a glitch with the image in his head. He thought, at the time, that he had seen her smile and laugh with him, nodding at the moments that were only meant for listening. But the movie that was playing in his head didn’t show her laughing along with him, it showed her looking out the window beside their table, her face paling. He shook his head, trying to remove the image. That may have been what he remembered, but it couldn’t be. She had been paying attention to him the whole time. There was no way that she wasn’t.

“You alright, mate?” A long thin hand waved in front of his eyes, a concern looked plastered on Brian’s face.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “I was just thinking about something. But the date was amazing,” he quickly changed the subject, a smile danced on his lips.

The guitarist laughed, sarcasm in his voice, “I couldn’t tell. It’s not like you haven’t been grinning like crazy since Devin gave you her number and that smile seems to have only grown bigger since having brunch with her.”

John nodded, smiling at the ground. That image of what could have been fear washing over Y/n’s features playing in his mind. He brushed it aside once again. It was probably just his brain playing tricks on him. Maybe nerves, even; stress. He probably just needed to drink more water. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll ever stop smiling with her in my life.”

Brian’s eyes went wide at his words. “You got a second date?”

He hummed in response.

His friend leaned back against his chair, “Where are you two lovebirds going to go?”

John hit his arm lightly, not wanting to cause any damage, for he would never hear the end of it from Freddie and Roger. As much as they beat on the poor guitarist, it was frowned upon for anyone else to. Even John. “We’re no ‘lovebirds’.”

Brian nodded, rubbing his now tender arm. “Alright, maybe the two of you aren’t, but you sure as hell are lovestruck. Cupid definitely shot an arrow at you.” However, this time he saw John’s fist coming and was able to dodge it before turning back to his question. “Whatever you two are, at the moment, where are you going on a second date?”

John shrugged.

He hadn’t put too much thought into it. But it’s not like he was given the chance, he was jumped as soon as he walked into the studio. God, it was exactly how groupies jumped at Roger after a show. He wondered how the man could handle that, it was almost suffocating.

“You should take her somewhere nicer than a corner cafe,” his friend suggested.

“Like where?”

Brian thought from a minute. Tapping his index finger against his check. “Maybe you two could go on a picnic. Those are always fun. Plus, you’d be out in nature. Beautiful scenery,” he noted.

John bit his lip as he thought it over. He couldn’t deny, it was a good idea. They could sit and talk for as long as they wanted and they didn’t have to worry too much about other people. And it wasn’t too serious. If there was anything that he had learned about Y/n on their first date, it was that she wasn’t a very serious person. And maybe being out in nature would be a nice break from the clinic and class for her. He knew that, for him, it would be a nice break from the studio and the band fights, that seemed to occur everyday.

He nodded, “I think that's what we’ll do, thanks Brian.”

The man shrugged. That’s what friends are for. “You should go call her then.”

Brown locks twirled through the air as he shook his head. “I think that can wait. We should-” He pointed to the sound booth where Roger and Freddie had now begun to throw things at each other. Although, they were small items, like pens and pencils, John knew that they would get larger. “-probably take care of that first, don’t you think?”

Brian groaned as he got to his feet, following John into the sound booth. It was just like any other day. Making music and breaking up fights.

*~~~*

A sigh escaped her lips as she fumbled with her keys.

Work had been as difficult as usual. People yelled at her for problems that weren’t her fault and she got a few paper cuts from looking through files. Just a normal day in the clinic.

Well… it should have been.

On a normal day, a tall, dark haired man that she used to know wouldn’t have walked in. He wouldn’t have come up to the counter and try and make conversation with her. On a normal day, she would have probably talked to a sweet old lady with eye problems or a small child with a little cold. But neither of those things had happened. She was stuck with an alternative that she never asked for, as it was what nightmares where made of.

Y/n pushed the door open, trying to think of something other than her encounter at the clinic. She was making it out to be worse than it was, that’s the belief that she settled on. It wasn’t that bad, it was only as bad as she let herself think. Closing the door, she rested her hand against the smooth wooden structure while trying to slip her shoes off. Once they were off, she shrugged her jacket off her shoulders and placed it on the coat rack before heading to the living room.

She walked in to see Alice on the sofa with her cross stitch in hand. She was so deep in thought, trying her hardest to not prick her fingers and screw up the purple rose she had been working on for the past week, that she didn’t even notice her roommate plop onto the chair next to the sofa. She muttered a string of curses, having to go back and fix something while Y/n threw her legs over the arm of the chair, blowing out a breath.

“If you keep up with that thing-” She pointed to the cloth Alice held in her hand. “-you’ll probably be drained of all your blood,” she commented.

Her roommate whipped her head away from her project, “When did you get back? Wait, wait, wait. How was the date?” She asked, setting the cross stitch in her lap.

Oh god. That was a tough question. There was no doubt in her mind that the date was spectacular. John and her weren’t close enough for people to think much of their relationship. They weren’t even close enough for her to think much of it besides the fact that she wanted to see him again. But even so, she felt comfortable with him. It might have been due to his warm laughter that filled her with butterflies or the smile that he gave her that distracted her from her thoughts. All she knew was that he made her feel safe.

And if that wasn’t a good reason for a second date, then she didn’t know what was. She needed a relationship where she could feel safe and comfortable.

A smile washed over her as she ran her tongue over her lips, trying to contain it. “I… um, well, it was good,” she stated. She knew if she opened up about her feelings of the date, or of John, then Alice would be all over her.

Alice frowned, not believing a word of what her roommate was saying. “Don’t you lie to me, Y/n. It won’t get you anywhere,” she pointed a finger at her.

“Fine.” The smile finally broke out, making her y/e/c eyes light up. “It was way better than good. It was great. It was fucking fantastic. I don’t think I’ve been on a date that went that well in… ever.”

“That’s better. And I’m glad it went well, it seemed like you really liked him while you two were on the phone,” she grinned, picking up her cross stitch again. “So, are there plans for a second date? I assume there are,” Alice raised her brow.

Y/n nodded, staring at a painting of a couple birds sitting on a tree that Alice had hung up a few weeks before. It wasn’t the prettiest painting in the world, there were a few spots where the paint on the canvas was starting to peel and the golden paint on the frame was starting to fade. But it was better than the ugly old clock that had been hanging in it’s spot. “John’s supposed to call when he finds a place.”

Her voice must have sounded off, distracted by the painting, as Alice looked at her with worried eyes. “Y/n, are you alright?”

Her eyes fell from the painting, going to her hands to see that she had been fiddling with her fingers the whole time. She let out a sigh. Of course, she wasn’t, and her own body gave it away. Her body decided way before her brain that she was anything but alright. The world was anything but alright. “I saw him today. I really saw him today.”

Alice’s face fell at the realization of who her friend was talking about. “Charlie.”

She didn’t need to see the nod in response to know that she was right. Y/n had sworn that she had seen him a few weeks back. They had been walking to a class that they both had together when she spotted a man that looked like him. Alice assured her that it was only the light playing tricks on her and that it was nothing. The man had moved his head away from them before they could get a good look. And the odds of them spotting him, running into him, were slim. He lived in America for god sake.

“He’s apparently going to be staying in London for a few weeks and may even end up moving back,” Y/n played with the hem of her shirt, shifting in her chair.

“Oh, well that doesn’t mean you’re going to have to see him,” Alice told her. “I mean, you only talked to him once. That doesn’t mean you have to ever again.”

Y/n shook her head. Alice just didn’t get it. She may have hated Charles when they were together, and she may have thought that she knew the shit he pulled, but she didn’t even know the half of it. And she would probably kill him if she found out, Y/n just didn’t have the energy for that. She didn’t even have the energy to put up with that man or to really think about him. It had been so peaceful, so refreshing to have him out of her life and to have her mind cleared of the memory of him.

But now he was back.

And she knew better than to think that he would stay out of her life. People change, but they don’t change that much.

“You don’t understand, Alice,” she began. “John and I were sitting at a window table at Mickie’s and we were having a great time. And then I turned to look out the window and he was standing right across the road. This wasn’t like the last time. The light wasn’t messing with my vision and I wasn’t sleep deprived. Everything was perfectly fine and then I saw him! I looked at him and then he looked at me.” She threw her hands up in the air, dramatically. “I didn’t even know what to make of it and it’s not like I could tell John about it. What the hell am I supposed to say?”

Alice opened her mouth to answer, but was quickly cut off. Y/n clearly didn’t want her answer.

“Nothing! There is nothing I’m supposed to say. Because I would pretty much be overreacting!” Her head fell back in frustration. She didn’t know what to make of any of it. She had left Charles in the past and that's where she had wanted him to stay.

Alice stood from her chair, going over to her friend and grabbed her hand. Rubbing circles over her soft skin, she signed. “Y/n, it’s not the end of the world. Not yet, anyway.”

Y/n nodded. She was just overreacting. London was a huge city and if Charles did in fact move back like he said he might, then the chances of them running into each other were slim. They probably would only ever see each other in passing and she could grow used to that just like she had grown used to not seeing him everyday. Alice was right, it wasn’t the end of the world.

The two sat in silence as neither knew what to say, let alone what to do. It had been so long since either of them had to deal with Charles. It had been so long since he had crossed their minds.

The silence was broken by the ring of the phone. Alice signed, dropping Y/n’s hand before walking to the phone that sat in the hallway. Going to the receiver, she picked it up, tapping her nails against the cold surface. “Hello?”

“Alice?” a voice questioned through the phone. A familiar voice. “I’m surprised you and Y/n still live together. I thought you would have driven her away a long time ago.”

Anger boiled beneath her skin as she continued to tap her nails against the table the phone receiver was resting on, but harder. “Charlie.” “That’s right.” His smile could practically be heard through the line. “Can I speak with Y/n?”

“Only if she wants to talk to you,” she seethed. Even though she thought Y/n was overreacting about Charles, neither of them wanted him around. Alice had seen how he treated Y/n and she knew that her friend was better off without him.

She set the phone on the table, taking a deep breath before walking back into the living room. Y/n was not going to like what she was about to tell her. It would probably just make her worries worse. And she knew that it wouldn’t help her stress from school and work. When she entered the living room, Y/n was still slung across the chair, playing with her fingers. She looked like she had calmed down a bit.

That was all going to change.

Alice cleared her throat, causing her roommate to whip her head in the direction of the noise. “Um… Charlie's on the phone for you.”

Y/n groaned, running a hand over her face. What did she do to deserve this? More importantly, though, how did he get her number? Those questions didn’t really matter as she set her legs on the ground and pushed herself out of the chair. Trudging out of the room, her eyes landed on the phone that was face down on the table.

She didn’t want to pick it up.

She had just come to terms with the fact that she had seen the man for the first time in years. That she had talked to him for the first time in a long time. That had all settled down in her brain, taking her nerves away. But now all her feelings and her nerves were back due to the fact that he was on the other end of the line.

She could easily place it back on the receiver, ending the call. If she ever saw him again, it could be blamed on a bad connection.

Against her better judgement, she carefully picking the phone up and placed it to her ear. “Charles?” She breathed into the phone. The response she got was light laughter.

“Charles? Really, Y/n? What happened to Charlie?” the man questioned through the line.

Y/n sucked in a breath. Not a single ounce of her missed talking to him. “What do you want, Charles?” she ignored his question. Even if he begged, she would never call him ‘Charlie’ again. Nicknames like that were reserved for people that loved and cared about you. And she neither loved, nor cared for the man anymore. Therefore, he was no longer Charlie in her books.

“I was just wondering,” he drawled. “If you want to get drinks with me this Friday?” He paused for a second before continuing, “It would be nice to catch up.”

Out of all the reasons he could have called, he called to find out if she wanted to get drinks with him. That was one of the last things she wanted to do with him.

Before she could stop herself, a laugh escaped her lips. She was in a fit of laughter, before she knew it and was trying her hardest to compose herself. Y/n took a deep breathe before returning to his question. “I’m not going to spout some bull shit on how I would love to but I’m unfortunately busy. I’m not going to do that because I think we both need to be honest with each other.” She twirled the phone cord between her fingers. “I don’t want to get drinks with you. I don’t want to get dinner with you and I don’t want to get anything with you. And I most certainly don’t want to catch up.”

The line went silent, which was a nice surprise. Y/n had thought that Charles would ramble on about reasons why they should get drinks together, but he didn’t. He was silent for a good second or two before he breathed through the phone. “Alright.”

You could practically hear how tense he was since he probably wasn’t happy to be turned down.

“And, Charles,” her tone growing stern. “Don’t ever call me again.”

Not another word was shared between them before Y/n placed the phone back on the receiver. She rubbed her cheeks, trying to do something to help her relax. She hadn’t realized how tense she had gotten while talking to him. Alice should have just hung up the phone because they both knew that Charles always wanted something.

Y/n was just about to turn to go back to the comfort of the living room when the phone started to ring once again. She groaned, thinking that it was Charles probably calling again to give some lame ass excuse on why they needed to get drinks. No excuse, none at all, would make her sit anywhere near that man.

“Charles I thought-” she pretty much yelled into the phone before she heard music come through the line. “Oh, god. I’m sorry.”

A familiar laugh rang through the line, making her heart flutter. “Clearly you haven’t had the best phone calls today.”

She could only shake her head. “You could say that. Did you pick a place for our second date?”

John laughed, probably nodding even though she couldn’t see it. “Um, yeah. I did. Ow!” he yelped into the phone, causing Y/n to move the phone a little ways from her ear. She didn’t need to see Charles and go deaf in the same day. “With a little help.”

Y/n didn’t need to see him to know that one of his bandmates probably whacked him for not giving credit. She smiled at the thought. Alice would probably do the same thing, though. Probably elbow her in the ribs and Alice had boney elbows, so it would hurt. “Ah, okay,” she laughed. “So, where is this place where you will learn if I have a sister or not?”

“I kinda forgot that you owe me that information,” he chuckled. “But I was thinking of maybe a picnic?”

Her eyes lit up as his words hit her ears. She hadn’t gone on a picnic since she was a child. It was always something that her family would do after church on Sundays if the weather permitted. But that tradition faded as she went off to university and her parents split. But she loved the idea of sitting on a blanket under the warm sun. “A picnic?”

“If you want to go somewhere else or if you’re not an outdoorsy person then we can do something else,” he rambled on.

“John,” she interrupted him. “A picnic sounds like a lovely idea.”

He sighed in relief through the phone.

“Where and what time am I meeting you?”

“Is Mickie’s far from your place?”

Y/n shook her head. “No, it’s just a quick walk from my flat.”

He hummed, taking her answer into account. “Alright, then how about we meet there at, oh, one. I’ll bring food and all that, you just show up.”

Y/n narrowed her eyes at Alice who had just appeared in the hall with a huge grin on her face. Turning away from her, Y/n smiled into the phone, “That sounds good to me. We got a time, we got a place, how about a day?”

“Oh, yeah,” John breathed out. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at his little realization. “Would Friday work for you?”

She tapped her fingers against the table, thinking over her schedule. She had a class at 9:30 that day and had to be at work at noon. Y/n knew that Diane would be more than happy to take her shift at the clinic, but Dr. Smith would never let her hear the end of it. He would probably make sure that she covered for everyone else for a months, whether she had classes or not. “Um, can we do Saturday instead? I have to be at work at noon on Friday, but I have Saturday off.”

Faint yelling could be heard through the line, causing a delayed answer from John. He let out a sigh, “Yeah, yeah. That works for me.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you then,” she bit her lip, all her stress fading into excitement.

The yelling got louder, John mumbling incoherently into the phone. “Yeah, I’ll see you then if I don’t get thrown in jail for murdering my friends first.”

“Don’t do that,” she smiled. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Setting the phone back on the hook, she turned to Alice who hadn’t budged. Alice may have cared about what Y/n wore to the first date, but now it was Y/n worried about what she was going to wear to the second. It was stupid, really. It’s not like he should care about her wardrobe, her personality was what mattered. But she liked John enough, probably more than she was willing to admit, and she wanted to looked good for him. She wanted to look like a woman that was good enough for a rock star, even though she knew she was far from it. “What am I going to wear?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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sammyspreadyourwings · 6 years ago

Note

Okay so - maybe a Maylor angst with number 24, with a hurt Brian? How does it sound?

24) I thought I’d never see you again

CW: Death, mention of injury

Reincarnation AU? Reincarnation AU.

Circa Future

Brian didn’t know the steps were icy. He might have guessed because of the rain from last night and the cold temperatures today, but he didn’t really think about it. That is until he was staring up and the London gray sky and waiting for the worrying twinge on his side to go away. The ringing in his ears is the worst.

Someone leans over him. He has a second to notice stunning blue eyes before it feels like he’s tumbling down the steps again. Memories, years and years’ worth, batter against his brain, free from where they were locked away. Emotions, feelings he hadn’t even considered drift into his heart ranging from elation to sorrow to love to regret. Brian has to choke back a sob, but the intensity of what he’s feeling forces it out anyway.

The man on top of him – No he knows the name give him a second. Is crouching over him, one hand by his head and his eyes closed against the intense wave that must also be feeling. Brian notices tears drop to his cheeks, but he’s too enchanted and dazed to even considering wiping them away.

Eventually, blue eyes flutter open again. Brian feels himself soften as he gazes into them again.

“Hi,” he wheezes out.

Oh right. He fell down steps. That’s probably a broken rib. He’ll deal with that in a second.

“Hi,” the man smiles.

Roger! The name floats to the front of his mind. Roger still has that easy smile that Brian fell in love with so many years ago. Longer than he can think about right now. The features have changed though, in this new life of theirs. His blond hair as more of a wave to it he can tell even though most of it’s in a ponytail, and there are freckles across the bridge of his nose. Eyes are always the same though. That’s how you know.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” Roger whispers.

The pure ache in the voice hurts. Nearly as much as his side. Brian reaches up one hand to trace across the new constellation. He wonders how differently he looks to Roger. Roger lifts one hand to play with his curls.

“They’re looser now,” Roger mumbles.

A sharp lance of pain reminds him that he’s injured, “uh, do you think you can help me to the clinic?”

Roger’s eyes go comically wide, “I don’t believe you.”

“You saw me fall down the steps.”

It makes Roger laugh, and Brian feels the rush of love press against his heart and he’s sure that it has nothing to do with any injury. Roger helps him up to his feet, and then its like they can’t stop touching. They head towards the clinic, having to stop every few minutes to just absorb everything from the person next to them to the memories floating around in their head.

They go back to Roger’s flat after the clinic. Brian’s side is wrapped, and salve rubbed over it to help with the bruising. At least he hadn’t broken anything like he feared he had. Memories are slowly settling in, and they all seem to be at the tail end of his former life.

Roger for his part, seems content to wrap around his waist and never let go. Brian tugs the hair out of the rubber band holding it back and it falls softly to Roger’s shoulder. He was right, it is wavier now.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” Brian echoes the statement from earlier.

“Statistics weren’t in our favor,” Roger shrugs, “but it worked out.”

Brian spares a thought to John and Freddie. They’ll have to look for them.

“God, I missed you,” Brian breathes.

“How long after?”

He tilts his head back in thought. Roger’s fingers trace the underside of his jaw, which he can tell now is the slightest bit narrower.

“Not long,” Brian replies, “only a couple years. I couldn’t do it without you.”

Roger bends down to nuzzle at his collarbone. They hadn’t had this in their previous life, it wasn’t so much they missed their chance as they agreed that they’d just stay by each other’s side. This time, there wasn’t pressure from society or strings of wives and girlfriends. He thinks they may have to find Jim for Freddie and Veronica for John. Maybe he and Roger would be enough.

“You’re thinking about them?” Roger presses kisses along his neck.

“Yes,” he breathes, “we can do this all over.”

Roger sits up with a frown, “just Queen?”

“No, everything. Us. Freddie. We can be there for John.”

Something makes Roger’s lips quirk up, “we don’t have Red Special.”

Brian wonders if he could convince the person keeping her to give her back. Then he shakes his head, he’ll build something new. They won’t be Queen again, too much heaviness in that legacy.

He pushes up, a small wince when his side reminds him, he’s injured it, and presses a kiss to Roger’s lips. They playfully nose and kiss at each other. Brian presses another kiss, more serious this time and Roger notices.

“Please don’t make me live without you again.”

The memories are still vague, but he can tell how gray they are to the ones before. They match the years after Freddie’s death and John’s retirement. Even without knowing the exact situations, he knows that he hadn’t handled it as well as he could have, and he can’t think the word now, not with Roger in front of him. He’s heard of people dying from broken hearts and he half expects that’s what happened to him.

“If you promise the same.”

Brian drags a hand away from his curls, and presses a kiss to the ring finger, “I swear.”

Roger mirrors the action.

#Maylor #ask meme fill #prompt meme fill #drabble #Anonymous

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onlydogscanhearme · 6 years ago

Text

Breaking Free (Roger Taylor/Brian May)

Summary: Roger has been keeping his darkest desire a secret, until John finds the clothes he’d thought he’d hidden so well. Warnings: Roger wearing women’s clothing, feminization, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending. Chapters: 2/? Word Count: 1,779 Links: Chapter 1, AO3

They were silent as they headed down the stairs of Brian’s building and out onto the street, neither of them speaking as Freddie bundled Roger into the van outside and staying quiet all the way back to Freddie and John’s apartment. As soon as they were in, Freddie locked the front door and nudged Roger through into the lounge. As soon as they were in, Freddie pulled Roger down onto the sofa with him.

Uncharacteristically, Roger couldn’t force his mouth and his brain to cooperate. What was he going to say? How exactly was he meant to get out of this one? Freddie had covered for him very well, but he still had to explain. And there was no way to do that without telling the truth.

The truth being that he was perverted. That he liked things that were wrong, unnatural and just plain weird. No matter what, he was going to lose Brian. It didn’t matter how he phrased the truth or if he told a lie, the long and the short of it was that he was going to end up losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He felt his body twitch and subconsciously leant closer to Freddie, who automatically wrapped his arms around him. It was strange for Freddie to be silent for so long, but fuck, was Roger glad for it. It was giving him some time to sort his thoughts out, jumbled and racing as they were.

And it wasn’t like Roger thought he could get away with this forever. He’d imagined being caught numerous times; he’d just sort of hoped that he had more time to come up with an appropriate speech. Reasons, excuses, apologies. Anything that wasn’t him being reduced to a shivering mess unable to speak. Oh, and facing the loss of his boyfriend. That would be good too.

Roger had no clue how long they sat there in silence, only that the sun had started to set, leaving the room in a weak light, long shadows coming through the window and the sky the same dark and dingy colour Roger was feeling inside.

“Fred?” It was the first word that Roger had spoken in hours and he wasn’t surprised to find it totally void of emotion. Stronger than he’d expected, sure, but still weak.

“Yeah?” Freddie stirred as though he’d been dozing, but he was attentive as soon as Roger needed him. His hand resumed its stroking of Roger’s shoulder, calming the younger man almost subconsciously.

“They’re mine.”

Silence. Deafening silence.

“The clothes,” Roger clarified. “And the make-up. I bought them for me. I wear them sometimes. Mostly around the house when Bri isn’t there.”

Roger nearly choked on his boyfriend’s name, but now he’d started spilling everything he just couldn’t stop.

“I’ve been out like it once. There was this bar round by uni that Tim took me to once or twice.” And wasn’t that a lovely memory to bring up? Well, if he’s feeling like shit, he may as well drag everything up at once.

“I could never get the look quite right. Never liked being on my own either. Preferred it when I was at home. Even by myself at home was better than being out and alone feeling like a freak.”

God, he was pathetic. Freddie must gave always thought that Roger was a little bit weird, but Christ, now he had the proof. Roger was a freak. Even as eccentric as Freddie was, he didn’t do shit like this.

Oh well, now that Roger was talking and confessing, he might as well continue. He’d never told anyone any of this before, never dared to share this side of him for fear of ridicule.

“I would pretend… I do pretend I’m waiting for Brian.” He sniffed loudly and turned his head, shifting closer to his friend. “I put on the make-up and curl my hair, put on a bra and tuck one of his shirts into a skirt of mine. I'll walk around the flat doing the housework or some shit. It got so easy to pretend that Bri would come home and–,” he cut himself off as his voice finally broke and the tears came.

“Oh, darling.” Freddie tugged Roger so that they were almost one, tucking his head into his neck as he pressed kisses to Roger’s messy hair. “How long?”

“Always.”

Roger could remember the first time he’d found out that it was actually a thing. It was back when he was dating Tim, on one of their dates at the pub near the older man’s pub. It had taken the surprisingly-innocent Roger nearly half of the evening to realise that all of the beautiful women in the bar weren’t actually women.

Roger had gone back the following week, not sure what the feelings were stirring in his stomach. It had taken a long time for him to realise that it was longing. And it wasn’t longing for the men themselves, but rather the freedom that they had. It was a want for the way they looked so soft and feminine, how their masculine features were made to look so delicate. Roger had been exposed to something he hadn’t known he’d wanted and as soon as he had seen it the want was never going to go away.

There was something about the short clothing and long hair that Roger wanted desperately. So he’d gotten it. Piece by piece, he’d built his collection. It was only tiny, but Roger couldn’t risk anyone finding it. The way the tights slid against his legs and the feeling of the bra around his chest. His hair was already long, but when it was curled so carefully to frame his face he felt amazing. He liked the way his eyes looked when outlined with dark liner and how much bigger his lips looked when they were shining with sticky lip-gloss.

“He’s going to leave me.”

Freddie was quick to soothe Roger, lifting a hand to cradle blond hair. “Of course he won’t. Brian loves you.”

Roger scoffed, though the sound was weak and lacked impact. “Enough to put up with this?”

More silence. Roger knew that wasn’t a fair question to have asked because as much as Freddie would want to say yes - like anyone would - there was no way that anyone could promise that. Because what Roger liked wasn’t exactly normal, was it? There was no knowing how someone would react to this. Especially when Roger had been lying by omission for so long.

“At least you aren’t cheating.”

Roger let out a wet chuckle, small and humourless. Freddie tilted his head and rested his cheek atop Roger’s crown.

“Have you got much?”

Roger shrugged. “A couple of bras, five skirts. One make-up set that I’m pretty sure was left by a girl after a party or something. No wigs though; I like my hair.”

“As you should, darling. There’s no need to cover your lovely locks.”

They fell into silence, only broken by the occasional sniffle from Roger and the gentle rubbing of Freddie’s palm against Roger’s shirt.

“Are you okay?”

Roger swallowed thickly and gave another little shrug. He bit his lip and turned his face even more into his friend’s chest. “I really don’t want to go back.”

“I know.” Roger closed his eyes as Freddie started stroking his hair, shoulders slumping. “But they’ll want to talk to you. We did kind of rush out of there.”

“I really, really don’t want to face them tonight.”

“Okay.” Freddie let his head fall back to rest against the sofa cushions and Roger could have cried with relief.

“Thanks, Fred.” Roger’s voice was almost inaudible, but the tiny kiss he felt against his crown and the squeeze of his arm told him Freddie had heard.

How Roger got any sleep was beyond him. His stomach was in knots and his hands had not stopped shaking. He woke up on the couch feeling like he’d been on a three-day bender and winced when he opened his eyes.

“Morning, gorgeous.”

Roger groaned as he sat up and looked over to Freddie in the doorway to the kitchen. “Morning, Fred. God, I feel like shit.”

“Well, you look as amazing as always.”

Roger managed a half-smile at his friend as he raked his hand through his hair. It was well past his shoulders now and needed a damn good brush after a night lying on the sofa. No matter how it looked, his hair was something that he honestly loved. When he had been younger and living under his dad’s roof, he had always been made to have it cut short. Mature, his dad would bark at him. It was professional and manly. The hair style of a member of a respectable family who would go on to do great things. The style that Roger had chosen now would have made his father have a fit – if he’d ever seen it. His long locks were definitely something representative of each artistic person, the very sort his dad hated. They had they added bonus of making Roger look very feminine in certain lights or even like a woman from behind. His hair was just so him and Roger loved it. He loved brushing it out, loved tying it up and letting it fall back around his shoulders at the end of the day. He also adored the way that Brian tangled his fingers in his hair as he fucked into him hard and deep. Roger shook himself out of it and twisted his hair into a loose bun at the back of his neck.

“Did John come home last night?”

Freddie shook his head as he walked into the living room and handed Roger a steaming mug. “No. I assume he stayed with…”

“Right.” Roger nodded when Freddie trailed off. “Of course.”

Freddie took a sip of his own drink as he sat down on the armchair opposite his friend, waiting patiently for the other man to start talking.

“Are you going to tell them?”

“No.”

Roger smiled slightly at how quickly Freddie replied.

“Of course I wouldn’t, Rog. But you will.”

Roger’s head snapped up. “What?”

“I know you, darling. I know you and I know them. It’ll be okay.”

Roger’s fingers tapped out a rapid staccato on his mug, knuckles white and forearms tense. He wanted to deny it. Wanted to run off to Mexico and burn off his fingerprints. But he knew deep down that Freddie was right.

“Where do I start?”

“Well,” Freddie said kindly, leaning back and crossing his legs, “you can start with me.”

#my writing #breaking free #maylor #brian may #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may x roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #brian may imagine #rogerina taylor #rogerina

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loquaciousquark · 7 years ago

Text

Critical Role Wrap-Up Tell-All, Summary Post

Missed the first few minutes, but here we go! New campaign starts Jan. 11! No episode next week for Christmas.

First round of questions: Episodes 1-23: The Underdark.

They trusted Clarota more than Kima because the girls were super proud of finding him and they liked the underdog story of befriending the cast-out. Travis brings up writing “I don’t trust Clarota” five weeks running.

Matt designed the entire duergar city around the stronghold (including social encounters) that they missed. They also saw a shimmering portal to the Far Realm that they could have used but bypassed.

Matt had multiple layers for the actual pyramid he’d envisioned as a dungeon crawl, which the players completely bypassed by flying up & dropping a giant on top of it.

Re: Vax’s insight check on Keyleth: the DM said that Keyleth seemed unsure, scared, and cut off from the surface. Liam found that was the first time in the entire campaign he didn’t feel Vax questioning Keyleth’s decisions. This may have been the beginning of the crush. (Sidebar: Marisha is wearing a slate blue dress, gold heels, and stockings, and looks stunning.)

The Earth Ashari visions occurred right after Keyleth killed the kid in terms of plot. She was having a hard time with magic & spells out of fear, and Marisha used it as a catalyst to have her come to terms with the costs of inaction. “You figure it out or you die.”

None of the players felt there was much of a change in their characterizations in transferring from the home games to the show. This is also the point they switched to Vox Machina instead of the SHITS. Taliesin feels they would have done this in universe even without the show; Laura felt it was driven by the knowledge they would be streaming shortly.

Matt: “It would have had to have been a lot of work and roleplaying” to get Clarota to turn on the Elder Brain, but it was not impossible. Laura: “He’s Hugh! From Star Trek. :(”

Percy flashed his name so much in the beginning in an effort to put out feelers for information. Matt points out that what happened to the de Rolos was kept very quiet outside of Whitestone--the Briarwoods circulated a rumor that the de Rolos had gotten ill and died and their close friends had taken over. Percy would have been assumed to be a distant relative if recognized at all. “Who knows the name of the royal family of Nova Scotia?”

Ashley wanted Pike to be stronger after she died so that she could offer more to the fights than just healing. She felt that spending time on The Broken Howl would have improved her strength. (Brian tells us that Ashley lived on a boat for a while as a kid and knows her way around ships, which surprises some of the cast too.)

Percy had to make his bullets (as opposed to Vex having to buy arrows) because bullets don’t exist in this world. Vex also bought a thousand arrows right before the show started and put them in the bag of holding, and Matt was glad not to have to track it.

Liam thinks the real feelings for Keyleth may have started with the whisper, but does remember intending to keep it very very quiet up until Vax almost died in the Briarwoods arc.

Grog has no idea where/who his mother is. In the herd, you love who you love, have a kid, and teach the kid to fight, and he did not care about her existence until he met Pike and learned what a nurturing relationship could be like.

Matt forgot Grog’s last name was Strongjaw because they didn’t use last names much in the home game. That his dad’s name was Stonejaw was a complete coincidence that wasn’t put together until much later.

One of the members of the Arcana Pansophical was the one who put out the contract on the rakshasa. The idea was that they were working on a portal that connected to the Nine Hells and needed parts for the ritual (either not understanding or caring about the cycle of revenge).

Matt already had the Kima/Allura relationship in his mind from the second session ever in the home game. He had envisioned a past possible fling, but the Underdark arc allowed them to rekindle their relationship. He had no idea that they would become so beloved in the fandom.

Marisha had no idea that Keyleth’s antlers would become so iconic. In the home game, she had an undescribed circlet that was the last relic from her mother, and Kit Buss was the one who drew it as antlers. Kit also created Vex’s feathers, and everyone wove them backwards in time to create them. Kit also created Percy’s four-lens glasses.

Matt designed the Thunderbrands to be allies in the journey in the Underdark, including sending a Thunderbrand family mage along with them--there was a lost family member they were supposed to find. (Instead, VM attacked their wards with magic and Scanlan snuck inside while invisible for no reason, so that plot thread died.) They did find the necklace that belonged to this person.

When Ioun was wounded during the Calamity, her followers had to go into hiding (including Osysa, who is apparently quite old). Matt envisions them as equivalents to modern-day truth societies that emerge, disseminate truth, and go into hiding again. The Slayer’s Take is a cover for this society.

Matt declines to divulge the location of the other Horn of Orcus, as it still exists in the world. :O

CR Stats Break! 10,819 total rolls throughout the campaign, 548 total natural 20s, 497 natural 1s. Most natural 20s: Vax with 107, Percy with 104. Most natural 1s: Vex with 76, Vax with 61. Travis gets great delight out of Laura’s dice’s betrayal.

Episodes 24-48: The Briarwood Arc.

Seeker Asum’s dinner plan (before Vax ruined it) was to find proof that the Briarwoods didn’t actually have the political power to build the bridge over the Searing Channel to Wildemount.

Travis, re: the shaving of half of Grog’s beard--”That was a pretty hot moment.” That kicked off months of Grog trying to get Vax back. “A new world order had started.” However, Vax was too slippery and often frustrated Grog. Liam didn’t realize how furious Travis was until much later. “It was magical, I figured it would just come back! I thought it was tit for tat. I was wrong.”

The woman Percy saw with his natural 20 was just a hunter citizen with her wolves, which was intended as an opportunity to either gain information about the state of the city or (if it had gone poorly), a chance for her to report back to the Briarwoods and given them an advantage over VM.

Liam genuinely thought Vax was going to die during the Briarwood attack. He intended it as a monologue to exit the game. (”The stuff with Kiki had started, but Vax’s world was still 98% his sister.”)

Sam knew Percy’s gun had to be destroyed because he “did crazy shit with it and--weren’t you marking stuff off it all the time? That’s weird!” Everyone enjoys the memory of Percy/Taliesin’s real shock and upset. Sam genuinely hadn’t thought he would be upset at all and was surprised at how mad he was. Taliesin is still upset he never managed to build another one because of how priceless it was. “It was priceless! It was--Two magical elements welded into--oh, Lord!” Matt says the only other way to break the curse would have been to go kill Orthax in the Abyss. Taliesin points out that means Orthax is still out there. Matt: “As far as you know.”

Matt wants the new story to be wholly unique and new. There will be VM choices that will affect the world, but it won’t be a direct continuation.

Taliesin only told Matt that the Briarwoods murdered his family & deliberately kept it as limited as possible. He didn’t know anything about them. (Matt points out it’s good to only write as much as your character knows when creating a backstory.)

Matt: Delilah was a lesser mage working at an academy in the Dwendalian Empire (they were minor nobles), and her husband had gotten sick. She went to find a cure & found one, but by the time she got back, her husband was dead. She was so distraught she began “screaming into the astral sea and one day, a whisper answered back, ‘I can help you,’” which was Vecna. These whispers continued, leading her to one of Vecna’s old laboratories (guarded by an undead creature so old he’d forgotten his own name), where she found the secrets of vampirism in exchange for now owing Vecna her life. However, because of her toying with illegal necromancy, they were pursued, discovered, hunted, arrested, escaped, and hunted again for execution, which is why they fled the empire to the Menagerie Coast, which is where they ran into Ripley who was fleeing her own hunters. They began working together there and had heard about Whitestone, so this is where they began getting them to take their guard down (since Whitestone had gone to such lengths to cut themselves off politically). Taliesin notes that he’d not intended to give them supernatural powers, but during their creation he had thought of a ghost story in New Orleans where survivors of a horrible fire got into a coach and left, even though they shouldn’t have been alive, so he enjoyed the similarities in the tone of their love story.

Vex had feelings for Percy already at this point. “Darling, take the mask off.” She also thinks the darkness attracted her to him more.

Percy didn’t know the voice in his head was real. The smoke in the show was the first time it had ever happened. Liam notes they’d never had any hints of demonic power in the home game. Matt says the demon would never have manifested until Percy confronted someone directly from his revenge list.

Trusting the DM with your stories and mysteries is half the fun, according to Laura. Matt feels it gives him the opportunity to collaborate with the players.

Sam: “The first session [of the new campaign] is just going to be asking Travis why he’s talking like that.”

Keyleth was close to leaving the party at the beginning of this arc. She had issues with some of VM’s moral decisions and felt she had to continue her Aramente.

If Ripley had been left in her cell & was unable to escape, and they had figured out who she was, she would have done everything in her power to convince them she was as used and abused as everyone else (such as Cassandra) until the first opportunity to escape.

The dead de Rolos were left in public in Whitestone after the coup (they were the first to hang from the Sun Tree) in almost the exact same arrangement Matt used for the VM effigies later. VM did not ever fight their skeletons. Percy: “It’s just one more ghost story for that bloody castle. It’s highly appropriate for Whitestone.”

Ashley likes to think Pike’s ability to astral project is because she’s special to Sarenrae, but feels it’s just a reality of her city/film situation.

Matt says Delilah’s ritual actually succeeded, that she just didn’t know what she was looking for. She created the siphon, which was the whole purpose of the ritual. VM might have discovered that it had been successful if they’d spent more time with it. Delilah realized later (after reincarnating into her clone body) that she had fully done her part and Vecna was pleased.

Re: Craven Edge: Travis had no idea what a sentient weapon was and was just entranced with the description of the fancy sword. He was excited when Percy got nervous reading the card and was completely surprised when Matt began talking. “Grog was just enjoying this new friend that helped him shish-kabob people really well.”

Matt intended the acid trap to be broken by strength towards the wall, blocking the acid chutes, or by using another button on the wall Vax didn’t find. No one remembers how they actually got out.

If Scanlan had learned of Kaylie first before she found him, he would have probably run away from the information.

For Taliesin, the final barrel on the List was meant for “Percy’s acknowledgement that the List was not the end,” that this was an unending cycle he was starting. The empty barrel was meant to be the start of a brand new List, that he had started a revenge run that would never end. Percy was glad to kill thousands of people indirectly to kill these five directly--he knew what he was doing the whole time in the creation of these deadly weapons, which is part of why he says so often that Percy is a terrible person. (He clarifies it was never intended for himself.)

Vex got Simon back by flirting with the guards. “There was a lot of winking involved.”

Matt had always intended Cassandra to be the final name on the gun. Matt didn’t know Taliesin had intended the same thing in re: revenge not ending and reveals that if he’d killed those six, another six would have appeared. Tal and Matt are both delighted by this reveal of their minds working in the same direction. (Sam: “I knew that. I knew aaaaaaall that.”)

Marisha hadn’t intended Keyleth’s leadership to begin to emerge here (the roc, the skeleton army), and thinks Keyleth didn’t fully believe it herself until she got the mantle. She does remember the kraken fight as one of the first moments she forced herself to step up and take responsibility. Liam notes her decision to take as many as she could at the end of that fight as a good leadership moment.

Marisha asks Matt what would have happened if she hadn’t rolled a natural 20 on the ziggurat. Matt says the DC was an 18 to resist the impact--if she hadn’t, she’d have gone through, taken a ton of damage, and been thrust into the Shadowfell on the outskirts of Thar Amphala. It would have changed the story if Keyleth had survived the damage to return safely & reveal Vecna’s plot early. However, no one would have even known she’d been gone. Matt realizes belatedly that it would have been horrible to have such an emotional success on this arc only to have a beloved character suddenly disappear without warning (if she’d failed the DC and died in Thar Amphala). When they’d finally gotten to Thar Amphala at the end, there would have been an undead Keyleth to fight.

CR Stats Break! 50,074 damage dealt in total. Most damage taken: 5646, Grog. Most damage dealt: 10,038, Grog.

Episodes 39-83: The Chroma Conclave!

Matt had decided who would die in Emon before the attack. He wanted a central figure (and a powerful ally) to die to emphasize the danger. The most brave, resolute members of the Council were the most likely to throw their lives away.

Liam doesn’t know if Vax would have left VM if the Conclave hadn’t attacked. He would have been conflicted, tap-dancing around why he was there. The prank war with Grog had escalated into head-butting; Vex would have left with Vax if he’d firmly made the decision, even if she didn’t like it.

The attack was just a coincidence with being the same day VM messed with the orbs. It was all long-planned by Raishan. However, the orbs allowed Thordak & Raishan to recognize VM as meddlers & to get information on them earlier than otherwise.

Matt had planned the Conclave attack since Krieg’s original introduction. Coincidentally, if they were still playing at the home game pace of once every six weeks, that would have been this weekend.

Percy was calm in the Grog fight because he knew what was in all the bottles/kilns and because he knew he could give Grog disadvantage on every attack. He would have set him on fire/acid and blinded him as quickly as possible. Liam thinks Grog would have still turned Freddy into paste.

Gilmore was one choice from dying when they found him. If they’d gone for the treasure, he would have been dead by the time they found him. It was meant to be a crux choice in learning what it meant in moments of crisis to choose against your own greed. Liam points out that the last times they had dealt with death at this point were the home game and Vex’s death. They had no idea what the rituals were or really what they entailed; they had no idea what permanence it would have. Every death was rough, but in the beginning it was very unsettling.

Vex found a bunch of love letters from Gilmore and his first boyfriend under Gilmore’s bed. It was good confirmation they were in Gilmore’s actual room. Matt says it was another Marquesian (Markeesian?) boy that he would have had to name on the spot if pressed.

Vesh was “a dangerous entity for the levels you were dealing with at the time.” Vex’s resurrection ritual piqued her interest and would have resulted in her turning her eyes to VM if the Raven Queen had not intervened. Matt: “So much turned on that choice!” Also Matt: “Vesh isn’t necessarily a god, though she likes to say she is and Kashaw believes she is.”

The boon of the Dawn Martyr was a huge part of Pike feeling important in battle/getting the courage to be in the middle, knowing it would be okay if she got knocked out a few times. Grog, tearfully: “It’s not okay!”

Sam asks who the guy she was in love with for the second time. Ashley ignores him. “Oh, I heard him, I’m just not acknowledging it!” Everyone, including me, dies a little inside.

Matt envisions Kevdak getting the Knuckles by chance, by beating the previous owner to a bloody pulp. (Kevdak was not the herd leader at the time.) He had no aspirations beyond taking what he wanted and expanding the herd. Then the Conclave attacked and distracted the guards of Westruun, and he saw this as an opportunity to carve their way into the city. He saw himself bending Umbrasyl to his will later once the herd was stronger.

Ashley interrupts the timeline to ask Matt about what was in Senokir’s box because she can’t stand it anymore. She forgot to tell Matt she wanted to go look for it during the plot break and has been kicking herself the whole time. Matt confirms it was legitimately, 100% his wife’s ashes. “Let this be a lesson to you; not every NPC is out to get you.” Ashley: “I still don’t believe you!”

Liam had planned on multiclassing into Paladin even before the Raven Queen’s tomb. He saw purpose he lacked in Pike, then began to consider it when Taliesin made an offhanded comment about him going cleric. Liam alludes to a rough time in his personal life and talks about an out-of-game meeting where he was very, very upset with how the game had turned that day in the tomb. “It was heavy on top of my heavy, and I was not happy.” He says he wouldn’t change it for anything, now.

Liam asks Matt about Fate-touched. Matt says he knew Liam was going through tough stuff and wanted to give him a little hope in the middle of personal difficulties. He had no idea when it was going to come up--he’d envisioned later in the story when they were dealing with more divinity, that one of the gods then would have commented on it. Liam gets up and briefly bows at Matt’s feet.

Laura asks if there are more cookies and is given permission to get them at the break.

Travis had no idea if he could win solo against Kevdak, but wanted to start the fight that way. He got to face him on his terms, and that was all he wanted. Matt says he could have actually won the fight, but the dice were against him.

Laura doesn’t think she deserved that change in alignment. “All I did was steal a broom! I was gonna give him a whole bunch of dragon scales but he walked away too fast!” Liam is shocked Vex’s alignment changed and Percy’s didn’t; Matt says thoughts don’t necessitate alignment change, but that shooting the kid through the hand put him very, very close. If Laura had stolen the broom for a greater purpose, he wouldn’t have changed her, but it was purely selfish. However, he feels alignment shouldn’t guide roleplay, it should be reactive to the roleplay. “It’s not a big deal.”

Sam reads the letter he wrote to Pike. [Edit: transcribed here.] My fingers wither in anticipation. I can’t keep up. He tells her his age and says he realized his soul would be forever incomplete the moment he met her. It’s a darned good letter and Sam comments on that: “Jesus, this is good.” He compares her gloriously to the sun and asks her to protect Kaylie. “Don’t you see? This whole time, I thought I was chasing a lover, but instead I was chasing a mother for my child. You are the savior for my daughter I could never be. In death, my heart will be beside you in Kaylie.” Sam legitimately tears up reading the end and I do too, a little. Wow. Travis: “Don’t you feel bad for reading that early?” Ashley: “Nope!”

Matt intended certain vestiges for certain players, but didn’t have plans for the Ward, Cabal’s Ruin, or other open-ended vestiges. He didn’t know who would take the Ward. Laura’s still bitter about the wings.

Re: Percy’s death ritual--Taliesin planned to ignore any attempts to call upon a god to help him. He was looking for reasons to come back, but thought it would be a great end to Percy’s character if it panned out that way. Elements of Taliesin’s next character started originally as Percy’s replacement.

Raishan was trying to do an ancient variant of Speak With Dead with Thordak’s corpse. She was concocting an intense version that tortures and forces information that would be true. She wanted the secret to getting rid of her disease and got Opesh’s lair location, then the rest of the information she needed once she arrived at the lair. (Matt confirms the soul curse on Raishan was real, and that she can see truth, which is how she knew Thordak genuinely knew how to cure her.)

Eggs: Thordak was mutating, becoming something new. The Soul Anchor began to change him in the Fire Plane & allowed him to asexually create progeny (”like Jurassic Park!”). They were a new elemental species. “We killed them all!” “As far as you know.” “Oh no!”

CR Stats Break! 86 total Grog rages. 3658 healing from Pike. 474 Vex arrows shot. Percy misfires: 36. DM facepalms: 264. Keyleth beast shapes: 110 (most used: 15 Earth elemental). 136 Scanlan inspirations, and every one of them gold. Vax: 21 one-shot kills. (Tal: “21 friends we never got to make.”)

Episode break, featuring guest stars! (No actual break, which means that bottle of water I drank earlier is now only suffering.) Attending tonight are Darin de Paul (Sprigg), Mary Elizabeth McGlynn (Zahra), Will Friedle (Kashaw), Jason Charles Miller (Garthok), and Noelle Stevenson (Tova).

On the biggest difference between the show & their home games: Mary & Will had never played before, so it was all new to them. Both preferred learning by fire. Darin feels it’s ultimately acting, “yes, and,” and loved it. Noelle points out that people are a lot more invested in her character than other players would be in a home game, and enjoys that feedback. Will agrees, since he never cared about anything like this before playing himself. Darin: “When you play at home, you don’t get fanart.” Mary loves the community & shared world-creating. Jason loves “what happens after” the game and how people can love your character more than you.

Mary was terrified on her first game. Her whole philosophy was, “Don’t kill the team. Don’t kill VM.” However, since she was so comfortable with Laura & Travis, she felt free to make mistakes. Will’s philosophy was to “smile, nod, and shift papers like I know what I’m doing.” At one point, Wil Wheaton told him to “turn undead” & he had no idea clerics could do that. However, when Will and Mary got to go back on the show, they spent time ahead teaming up and figuring out what their bond was, and that’s how their relationship started.

Darin’s first live show on set was the one where Kash kissed Keyleth & he dreamed of being part of that world. Will had no idea what he was doing would matter to people and thought it was tons of fun seeing the huge reaction to the kiss that he hadn’t expected. Zahra decided she would be pregnant right before they came onstage the last time, and Will loved the idea and told her to roll with it.

Jason has the CR theme as his ringtone. He enjoyed the uneasy tension of the truce with VM but expected foul play if the relationship had continued. He was surprised by the instant feedback of Twitch chat (Liam had it open on his phone during his game) being happy he called for an attack of opportunity.

Noelle jokes she wished she’d played a shopkeeper so she could have gotten into her episode earlier, but found it very intense once she arrived. She created Tova as something of a “burner character,” so that she would be okay if she died, but was glad she survived. She didn’t want to step on any big moments for the team and wanted to help them get to their next fight. She was glad she was there for their last scene--it felt important and was cool to see. She laughs about running the bear society from Marisha’s oneshot.

They all comment on the excruciating wait to be introduced in each episode. Will comments on the reality of being a guest star and being okay with dying for that reason, but also being terrified they might take someone from VM with them.

Will, Brian, and Mary had a death pool going for the final fight.

Sprigg’s theme of redemption was intense and unintended. Brian comments on Sprigg existing 37 years ago in the game with Matt’s mom; Darin loves that he intended him to be a Fagan character who steals everything, but ended up having a wonderful exit while arguing with Ioun. Darin loves funny, tragic characters and loves that Sprigg got to have his hero moment.

Mary mentions how surprising emotional moments could be (specifically mentioning Vex’s resurrection) and the complete investing of yourself in your character. Mary points out that she’s not a writer--this is one thing she has created herself, and she’s very proud of it. Darin: “It’s as special for all of us as it is for you.” Jason had someone yell, “We love you, Garthok!” at a concert. Will knew Matt from Thundercats and everyone else a little, and he loved the games, but he treasures the friendships he developed with the game’s players more. Darin deeply treasures the moment he had with Marisha in his game.

Brian remembers Darin taking pictures of the TM set the first time he saw it.

Will: “A good story is a good story.” Noelle: “There’s a universal nature to D&D.” The first time Mary met Noelle, Mary was wearing a d20 necklace and they bonded over both playing tiefling warlocks. Brian loves the idea of mainstream entertainment being about creation, not just observing.

Episodes 84-99: Taryon Darrington!

If Revivify had been successful, would Scanlan still have left? Yes--it was the act of dying, not really the circumstances of waking up, that put him over the edge. “There was a long buildup to him leaving.” He felt unloved & between Kaylie and the drugs, and the terrible streak of loss/dying, he felt nothing was going well. The prank on waking up felt poorly timed, but he admits he probably would have done the same to someone else if the situation had been reversed.

VM could have killed the kraken, but the lodestone sources that maintain the Water Elemental rift & keep Vesrah aloft would have lost power over the next five or so years. They’d have had to find another kraken & lure it back to preserve the city and the rift.

Pike was able to say most of what she wanted to say at Scanlan’s leaving in follow-up games, but Ashley as a player was sad that she was gone when he left and came back to “a new guy. I wanted to play with Scanlan!” Once Pike got up the courage, she was able to say what she wanted, but doesn’t feel she would have changed his mind at the time. Sam: “She absolutely could have stopped me. She was the only one.” Sam notes the rest of VM (esp. Vex) did persuade him to go with Kaylie instead of alone.

If Keyleth had failed her Aramente, she would not have been allowed to try again. She would have been allowed to join a council, and someone else would have gone to the Aramente instead. It’s not blood-determined--someone else worthy could have gone instead.

Tary’s wealth had little effect on tempering Vex’s greed. “Once she got money, then she mellowed.” Sam: “That’s how rich people work. They get money, and then they stop.”

(Funny aside where Brian forgets who Hotis is, confuses the rakshasa with the Pit Fiend, and Matt immediately pulls out the Pit Fiend’s name as Utugash.)

By the next time Hotis would have come back, the campaign would have been over (i.e. Vax would be gone), and his rage would have turned towards Ashley.

Vax’s Invisibility Ring was the only reason Tova survived.

Sam had no exact plan for Scanlan’s return, but only intended Tary to last one or two sessions before dying. However, “Tary was so dashing and charming and everyone fell in love with him instantly” that he lasted a little longer. Scanlan went back to Ank’harel for revenge, but it took some time for the two guys who wronged him to come back to town. He took their antiques counterfeiter away from them, publicly shamed them via the Meat Man, and chased them out of town. He and Matt did a whole series of rolls in which he identified the counterfeiter, chased them out, and created this small power vacuum, and when Matt asked what he wanted to do, he decided to step into the role himself.

The soulstones from Dis weren’t meant for much besides the temporary rush right before battle. (This makes me think of a really creepy 5-hour energy drink.) Vex still has one in her inventory.

Percy never wanted to kill Scanlan after the scrying eye; he wanted to sneak in, cripple him, take all his stuff, and tell him to never come back again. Percy didn’t like that he’d taken a vestige and other stuff from the house and felt he’d not deserved any of it. (Liam: “Neutral good, folks. Neutral good.”)

None of Grog’s lady friends were “the one that got away.” Liam, then Sam and Tal shortly after: “Nymph! Nymph! Nymph! Nymph!” and Travis reveals they didn’t sleep together. Grog was very meek and intimidated; Matt was mostly trying to make Travis uncomfortable in his own kitchen. Travis: “He just wanted to let you wonder for five years.” “Who, Grog or Matt?” “Yes.”

Laura reveals Vex & Percy briefly broke up during the break, then married each other quietly in front of the Sun Tree with Trinket.

Feywild theater: if you’re found listening to the theater without being a member, they converge on you to make you a member (e.g. pull out your soul and force you into it). However, there are members that have sought it out by choice.

Vex & Percy were out on a loch, talking about marriage and not wanting to be Vax & Keyleth, and decided to just go for it. The priest from one of the temples performed the ceremony. Tary knew first because he was in the same house. Liam: “Probably one of the biggest heartbreaks of the entire campaign. If there had been any other circumstances, [Vax] would not have known what to do with himself.”

Scanlan never heard Pike talking into the earring. :( However, he did do a fair amount of praying to Sarenrae “on his Aramente.”

No one found Scanlan during the break. Ashley and Grog were the only ones who seriously searched for him (everyone else decided to give him his space), but they didn’t look far enough, only staying in Emon & the surrounding area.

Scanlan never shot the gun except for that one time at the end.

Laura doesn’t even remember telling Vax not to get married without her. Va wouldn’t have been bitter or angry, just would have asked “why.” Liam says it would have been different if Vex had not specifically said not to get married without her. Laura’s genuine agony gets even worse for not remembering it. “I’m a terrible person!”

Marisha points out it’s another facet of Keyleth’s struggle to not waste time on inaction. “If you love someone, go marry them RIGHT NOW.”

Keyleth feels the Spire best serves the world by being in her hands right now, but has considered donating it to Melora’s followers after death.

Ashley would have enjoyed playing an evil Pike if the Trickfoot curse had been real. “That would have been fun!”

Matt: if Tary had not rolled well on his final roll, it would have been the end of the Darrington family unit: “an unfixable divide between him and his father. His mother would have had to choose; it would have sundered the whole family.” Matt had actually forgotten about the fate die. “You can’t call it a fate die more than that fucking moment!”

Laura sidelines to ask about Vax’s favor to the hag. Matt had had plans for it, but by the time it came time for him to try to use it, Vax already belonged to the Raven Queen and she wouldn’t try to interfere with that. “It’s a lost investment.”

Grog was not angry at Scanlan at all until he came back, disguised, with a new barbarian at his side. “An idiot, a barbarian, a half-ass imitation of Grog. I was ready to pick Scanlan up and smash his brain into jelly.”

CR Stats Break! Most-cast spell per character. Keyleth: 43, Transport Via Plants. Scanlan: 47, Healing Word. Percy: 27, Hex. Vex: 80, Hunter’s Mark. Vax: 25, Lay on Hands. Pike: 40, Guiding Bolt Up the Butt? No, Cure Wounds. (Aw.) Grog: 18, Enlarge.

Episodes 100-115: Vecna!

They could have acquired boons from each deity they tried to talk to, but others they didn’t have a strong connection to would have required research, searching, and time Vecna would have used against them. If they’d gone for a fourth deity, Vasselheim would have been destroyed and Vecna would have begun to understand his powers after achieving his miracle. If they’d gone for a fourth trammel, his power would have spread beyond the oceans. Matt thinks they struck the perfect balance.

Scanlan stayed so long in Ank’harel because he had to wait for the two guys to return, and while he waited he got a taste for “crime power!” and decided to stay. “Tastes like pleather.”

A lot of Pike’s feelings started with the letter, but she and Scanlan did flirt slightly in the home game. She didn’t take it seriously because she didn’t think he was serious until the letter. “That letter is very intense.” When he left, she realized how much she cared for him and missed him, and when he came back she thought he was more mature and maybe the time had passed. It was a slow climb after the letter.

Matt declines to say where Vecna keeps his phylactery. “That’s not campaign information, that’s world LORE information!”

Vex took the name “de Rolo” after her marriage.

When the Knuckles were resonating, it was because they were close to the surface from which they were carved (the earth titan), and because they had a structural extra bonus to sieging the titan from the inside. They could have slowed down the titan by attacking its legs, but that would have alerted Thar Amphala and they’d have had an uphill fight the rest of the way. They had lots of options to stop the titan.

Percy was not troubled by Silas’s escape. He’d transferred that angst to other people and felt at that point they could handle him if he attacked again. “It was never about Silas.”

The Death Knight was the nameless servant that had been keeping Vecna’s laboratory for countless centuries, rewarded for his service.

If he could have, Vax would have said goodbye to (at least) his father, Korrin, Gilmore, and Velora.

Marisha feels Keyleth was at last ready to lead her people by the end of the campaign. She had made her peace and was ready to be done. Brian: “Heavy is the head that wears the antlers.”

Matt guessed what Sam wanted to do with his level 9 Wish spell in the final battle. Sam had asked him about its limitations ahead of the game, and he tried to answer in general terms in case he was wrong. He didn’t realize the exact implications until the moment Sam used it as Counterspell. It’s one of Matt’s favorite moments of the game. Sam: “Great. Awful.”

Scanlan can’t reconcile his immense power with being unable to save his friend. He feels he ultimately failed, but suspects that in his older age he will realize it’s okay to fail & you don’t have to succeed at everything to make a difference in people’s lives. He’ll try to be a hero for his wife & his kid, and he still might use Wish every once in a while to see if he can get a message to or from old Vax. Liam: “Vax would never have seen that as a failure.”

Matt: “I imagine there are a lot of stories told about Vax’ildan and what he did.” Sam: “It’s okay not to be the best at everything. It’s okay to do what you do.”

The opposite side of Entropis had ancient holy relics that had been destroyed (the site of the seed that ascended Vecna).

Percy wanted to save Vax by selling his soul, get the punishment he deserved, and use the contract to get something out of his certainty he was going somewhere awful anyway. Then the moment of uncertainty crept in and he wondered why he kept making all these awful deals. Matt says that was one of his favorite Percy moments of the whole show & that he loved how he could see him break.

Matt says both Percy and Scanlan could have gotten the Wish off in a way that could have possibly circumvented the RQ’s will, but Liam had no idea how that would have played out, because in his mind the only way he could live was if the RQ gave him her blessing.

Re: reading--Grog just wanted to get smarter.

Syldor was grieved at Vax’s death & regrets the treatment of his children--he’s been spending a lot of his life trying to reconcile the choices he made in how he raised them with the pride at what his children have accomplished. “He’s learned a lot of lessons” and is doing the best he can do improve acceptance of outsiders in Syngorn society.

Vex feels she made peace with Syldor after having five kids with Percy and beginning to understand what having children means--it became important in a different way to reach out to Syldor.

Matt feels Vax is able to reconnect with his mother occasionally, but also prevents loneliness for the small mortal sliver left in the RQ & doing her will. He declines to explain the ethereal further.

The titan could only really be damaged from the inside.

Keyleth tries Speaks with Animals on the large raven that visits after a long, long time, without expecting the results she hopes for. “Almost better to keep the illusion that it’s Vax, rather than have the confirmation that he was never there at all.”

The Bag of Holding contained at the end: “silverware, candles, caltrops, handcuffs, stones, dried poo, some armor, the big black sapphire, bottles of wine. It was like a busted-up Home Depot.”

Liam declines to answer how Vax felt after his death, but in the moment itself he felt very heavy and very full. He knew his sister was taken care of.

FINALLY. Pike’s other love interest was....drumroll... “For a very long time, it was Percy.” She felt that through her faith and the light she had from Sarenrae that he was a marked man, and she did so much thinking and praying for his soul that everything became very confusing for her. She feels now, though, that it never would have worked out between them, and that somehow in the end, “...it was always Scanlan.” Tal: “He was oblivious, man.” Sam: “Even Tary was in love with that guy! He’s the worst!”

Favorite moments. Travis: "Dropping on Kevdak.” Liam: “Saying goodbye.” Marisha: “Cherry blossoms, and the tree.” Sam: “Cows.” Laura: “Talking to Trinket for the first time.” Sam: “Trying to kill Trinket for the first time.” Liam: “Gilmore stabbing me.” Marisha: “The hanging tree.” Taliesin: "Letting go when Ripley shot me. Realizing that Percy was in love with Vex. I’d never had a PC turn on me like that before that moment.”

Sam realized at the end that while he’d always imagined Scanlan spending his days telling their stories grandly, his favorite moments in the end were just healing his friends, impressing his friends and making them laugh. Marisha thinks about the cannonball contest, and Liam loved that Sam played the whole last fight against the gods with one hand held behind his back. Matt thanks Sam for playing bards to their full power. Ashley thinks about her first game, and how personal it was. How it changed her life.

Matt finds it strange that he’s a 35-year-old man who has spent his whole life trying to make something, and who genuinely believes the greatest thing he has ever accomplished is this story he’s told with his friends.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #matt mercer #talks machina #kind of #very very very VERY long post #cr spoilers #vox machina #epilogue of sorts

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