#bri has as well but i need to sit down and think a bit harder with her

[fluffghostrp]

slowly coming off of hiatus, mainly active on @strikelip atm.

i've got things figured out now, so activity'll probably either dip in early october... or be higher. we'll see.

[milesdickpic]

Goose and Carole: The Alternate Universe Pt. 3

Click here to see the master list

Hey, besties. This is an impulse post for everyone's well-being. I know we all need a little something happy that can counter the recent chapters of HLG I have released! So without further intro... here is our Leia's first birthday! ❤️ (a birthday post for my birthday 🥹) I love you all so much! 🫶🏼 Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

A/n: It's Leia Rey's first birthday. She is going to be showered with gifts, but little do you and Bradley know... She has a gift for you all too 🥳

Word Count: 1.5k~ sowwy it's short 🥺

Warnings: cursing, but so much freaking cuteness you might throw up 😭❤️

Please don't take my work, I will find you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leia’s first birthday was coming up. You and Bradley had been hard at work trying to get everything ready for it. It was going to be cowboy/cowgirl themed. You and Bradley decided it was going to be called, “Leia’s First Rodeo.” Nick, Carole, and Mav helped you and Bradley with the workload. Carole especially, she practically was at your’s and Bradley’s house every day helping you do party favors and whatnot. 

“She’s gonna be one already, babe. Where has the time gone?” You and Bradley were laying in bed the night before Leia’s party. Bradley was gently rubbing Leia’s back as she slept on his chest. He looked over at the clock. “0000, sweetheart. It’s our baby girl’s birthday.” He kissed the top of Leia’s head and started to sing happy birthday to her in a whisper. 

You rubbed Leia’s back and smiled at her and Bradley as he sang to her. She was facing you and it was as if she could hear her daddy. She started to smile in her sleep. 

“Oh Brad, look!” You said in an excited whisper. “She’s smiling.” You rubbed your index finger against her cheek. “Our pretty girl.” You leaned into her and kissed her lips. “Happy birthday, Princess Leia.”

The next morning you woke up to giggling. You opened your eyes slowly and looked over your shoulder. You saw Leia sitting up on Bradley’s stomach. He was holding her hands and making faces at her. She was giggling and bouncing on his stomach. You watched as he picked her up and held her parallel above him. He brought her up and down, every down he placed kisses on her face making her squeal. When she squealed really loud Bradley gasped. “Oh, my little love. You have to be quiet Mommy’s asleep.” 

You turned around all the way and smiled. Bradley and Leia both looked over at you and then back at each other. They had the same guilty facial expression. “Uh-oh, Leia. We’ve been caught.” Bradley blew a raspberry on her tummy and laid her down in between the both of you. 

“Are you ready for this party babe?” Bradley smiled at you. 

You nodded. “Let’s get this rodeo started.” You started to giggle.

~~~~~

Bradley had invited some of his close friends from work. Mav, Carole, and Nick invited some old friends. You invited your best friend Bri and her boyfriend. 

Bradley came down the stairs with Leia on his hip. He had his whole outfit on and ready. He tipped his hat to you and winked. "How do we look, honey?"

You raised your brows and bit your lip. You made your way over and placed a kiss on Leia's cheek. You fixed Bradley's hat and winked at him. "You are sexier than socks on a Rooster." (hehehe 😈)

He hummed and got closer to you. "Huh, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, mama." You started to giggle. "Although, I think I look sexier with just socks on." He winked and you started to laugh harder. Then the doorbell rang. Bradley placed a kiss on your head and gave you Leia before he went to open the door.

Nick, Carole, and Mav were the first ones to show up. Nick was wearing a whole get-up with Mav. From the cowboy hat down to the boots. They came galloping into the house. Mav was holding up a gift bag as he came over to greet Leia. 

He picked her up and kissed her cheek over and over again. “Happy Birthday, my little Leia!” He continued to attack her with kisses until Nick took her away from him. 

“All right, Grampa Goose’s turn. Step aside, Mav.” He tossed Leia into the air and blew a raspberry into her cheek. “Happy birthday, my favorite girl!” He pointed at Bradley. “Not you this timed, squared. My other little girl.” He poked Leia’s belly causing her to giggle. 

Bradley rolled his eyes and went to go help his mom carry in some gifts for Leia. Nick and Mav came up next to you with the biggest puppy dog eyes. You looked at them both confused. 

“Can I help you, boys?” You started to laugh. 

“Can Leia open our present now?” Mav gave you a pouty lip and held his hands to his chin. 

Nick nodded. “Yea, y/n. Pretty please.” He put his cheek next to Leia’s and gave you the biggest pouty lip. 

You started to laugh and Bradley came over. “What the hell are you two doing to my wife?” He started to laugh. Carole came over and slapped both guys on the back. 

“Oh! Would you two stop!”

They both stood up and rubbed their backs. “Ow.” Mav furrowed his brows and looked at Carole. 

“Ouch, honey. That wasn’t very nice. I’m holding Leia.” Nick pointed at Leia as she sat against his hip. Carole squinted his eyes at him and took Leia from his arms. 

She punched him again and he flinched against it. “OUCH!” Leia started to giggle. 

You looked at Mav and Nick as they winced at their pain. “She can open ONE.”

They high-fived. “YES!” They brought over the gift bag to Leia and cooed at her. 

Carole held her in her arms and bounced her up and down as Mav and Nick covered her in kisses. “Happy birthday, Leia!” The three of them said at the same time. 

“Open the present, baby!” Nick helped her pull the paper out of the bag. 

Mav pulled out the little pink boots for Leia. “Oh my gosh! What’s this, sweetheart?” Mav gasped as he showed them to Leia. You and Bradley sat back against the counter and watched as the three of them showed Leia her first gift. 

“How about we try them on, sweetheart?” Mav raised his brows at Leia. He slipped them onto her little feet. “Oh, they’re perfect!” 

Nick and Carole clapped for Leia as she kicked her little feet. “Yay!”

Nick pulled out the next present, “There’s more, little Leia!” He poked her belly. He pulled out a matching pink cowgirl hat. “Ooooo! Your first hat, honey!” He placed it gently onto her head. Leia smiled big. “Oh, you are the most beautiful cowgirl I have ever seen!” Nick placed a kiss on her cheek. Mav grabbed Leia from Carole and held her up to show you and Bradley. 

“She’s ready for this hoedown!” You and Bradley clapped and Bradley went over to grab his daughter. He kissed her over and over again as they all crumbled at Leia’s outfit. 

~~~~

Everyone had finally arrived at the party. Everyone was dressed accordingly. It was finally time for Leia’s cake. She was sitting on the floor with Bradley’s friends playing with toys. She kept handing her toys to Bob and Fanboy. She loved when they made noises with her planes and flew them around. Phoenix and Payback were making radio calls acting like they were the pilots in the planes. Hangman held onto Leia as she was standing trying to grab the planes from Bob and Fanboy. Coyote laid back against the couch and watched as they all were entertaining the birthday girl. 

You and Bradley came over and were ready to steal your girl for her cake. Bradley squatted down and held his hands out for Leia. You, Nick, and Carole stood behind him. “Come to Daddy, sweetheart!” Bradley gave his daughter a big smile. 

She had yet to take her first steps. Bradley was always practicing with her but she would always fall before she took her first step. Hangman held Leia as she took steps to Bradley. He eventually let her go and she was standing on her own. 

“Holy shit.” Bradley watched as Leia gained her balance. Every guest in the house watched on. 

Mav watched closely with wide eyes. “She’s gonna do it. Holy shit.”

Leia wobbled slightly and took a little step. Bradley opened his mouth wide. Everyone stayed quiet as they watched Leia take another step and then one more before falling to her butt. Everyone erupted and Bradley swooped Leia into his arms and covered her in kisses. “You did it, babe! You took your first steps, sweetheart!” You and Bradley cried and gave Leia kisses. Nick came over and attacked Leia with kisses. 

“You did it, Jedi! You walked!” He grabbed Leia from Bradley and he and Carole covered her in kisses. He held her up to everyone. “WATCH OUT EVERYONE, WE HAVE A WALKER ON OUR HANDS!”

~~~~~~

Bradley finally made his way to Leia’s high chair and placed her in it for her cake. You placed her smash cake in front of her and lit the candle. You and Bradley stood behind her high chair as everyone began to sing happy birthday to Leia. You and Bradley blew out her candle and gave her a kiss on her cheeks. You both kissed her so hard to squish her cheeks and gave her a little fish face. 

Everyone clapped and cheered for Leia as she dug into her cake. You and Bradley knelt down next to her and she each fed you both some cake. Bradley kissed Leia’s messy face and smiled. 

“Happy birthday, princess. Daddy loves you so much.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AHHHHH! We all got to experience her first birthday! I hope this all helped a little with the pain I've been putting you through. I love you all! See you in the next post! 🫶🏼

Leia's first birthday party guests are in the comments 🤠🥳

[celestialhrry]

Paparazzi

The one where Y/N and Harry’s daughter, Brielle, is at the rambunctious age of three and thinks she can protect herself in any situation. She ends up getting swarmed by paparazzi and fans when they try to go out for a nice lunch in town.

Y/N’s POV

“Y’almost ready m’love?” Harry says softly, walking into the master bathroom, a squirming Brielle wriggling around in the grip of his muscular arms. You nod your head yes and give him a quick kiss on the lips while walking towards the closet to get your shoes on.

“Elle, I need you to cooperate with Daddy, okay? If you don’t, it’s going to make everything harder for you.” Harry tells her when she tries to squirm out of her arms. “No! Let me go, Daddy!” She yells at him and hits his arm. That’s when you step in.

“Hey! We do not hit, Brielle. That is not very nice. What do you say to your Daddy?” You say, raising your voice slightly at her. You notice a single tear fall down her cheek and you immediately feel guilt take over you. “I’m sorry for hitting you, Daddy. I promise I won’t do it again.” She says, squishing her face into his neck.

“‘S okay, pretty girl. ‘T was jus’ a small mistake ‘s all. I still love you, angel.” He says, placing a small kiss on her cheek.

“Baby, we just don’t want you running off while we are out in public and we want to try and reinforce that while we are at home so that you learn in a safe place without any hazards, okay?” You say and she nods her head, little sniffles escaping her nose. You take Harry’s hand in yours and head downstairs towards the garage to head downtown.

The three of you arrive and you can hear a very excited Brielle in the back seat, knowing she is super hungry. “‘Ve got her, baby. Y’stay right there, okay?” Harry tells you and you nod your head in return. He gets out of the car to help Brielle out and rushes over to open your door like the gentleman he is. He offers you a hand and you gladly take it, stepping out of the car and onto the ground.

“Bri, honey, y’need t’hold Daddy’s hand, please. Don’t want y’runnin’ off now, do we?” Harry says but Brielle ignores his statement and runs off anyways.

“Brielle Jane Styles, get back here right now!” You yell at her but she doesn’t oblige to your calls. Harry doesn’t even think and starts running after her, him obviously being faster and scooping her up in his arms just before she ran into the busy street. You see him giving her a lecture and decide to keep your distance until he’s done with his chat.

You notice him look over at you and that’s your sign to make your way over to him. As soon as you reach him, he interlocks his fingers with yours, Brielle in his other arm. As a family, the three of you walk over to the restaurant and walk inside. Harry tells the hostess that there are three of you and she leads you to a table outside, Harry placing Elle down in her chair before sitting down next to her. You sit across from Harry and place your purse on the chair next to you.

“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Brielle says to Harry in a quite loud voice. “Okay, m’angel. We’ll get y’somethin’ t’eat in just a moment.” He says, brushing the hair out of her face with his fingers.

The very kind waitress comes by your table a few minutes later to take your orders. I find it very kind that she didn’t try to draw attention to us just because it’s Harry Styles.

-

You get up out of your chair while Harry pulls out an unreasonably large tip for the waitress as well as writing a little note on the receipt to tell her how kind she was. Harry picks Brielle up out of her chair and follows you. We walk out of the patio area and down the street to explore around town for a little bit.

Harry apparently has the confidence to put your daughter down without having her hold his hand so she doesn’t run away or anything like that. You turn towards Harry and capture his lips in a kiss before starting some small talk with him staring intently into your eyes.

A few minutes later, you suddenly hear the shutters and flashes of cameras and a mob of fans. You look around and notice that you don’t see your daughter anymore. You hear a cry from inside the mob of fans and paparazzi. You and Harry both look at each other with worry. You know that cry from miles and miles away. That’s Brielle.

Before you could even think, both you and Harry are running towards the mob, pushing through all of the fans and paparazzi. “Excuse me, babe. Sorry.” was all you were saying to get to your daughter as fast as possible and without injuring anyone. You finally reach the middle of the crowd, seeing Harry crouched down next to your daughter. You decide it’s your place to let these paparazzi and fans know what they did is so disrespectful.

“Hey! Everyone listen up! What you did to my daughter is so utterly rude and disrespectful! She’s only three for crying out loud! She is going to have this memory engraved in her mind forever because it’s so scary. I’ve been mobbed by you guys thousands of times and every single time, I also get scared. So please, I ask you to give us some space and leave our daughter alone.” You vent and they all slowly start to walk away.

“Shh, come ���ere, my love. Can y’show Daddy where it ‘urts?” He says lifting his daughter up in his arms and setting her down on the nearby bench before crouching down in front of her. Elle points to her knee, tears streaming down her face. Harry rolls her pant leg up and sees a very large scrape on her knee.

Once you see that, you frantically dig around in your purse for a wipe to clean it as well as a bandage. You find both and walk over to them to find Harry comforting your daughter in any way he possibly can. “Mommy, it’s hurting really bad.” Brielle says, her tears continuing down her face.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this happened. Can you let me clean and bandage your knee?” I ask her and she nods her head. You very gently wipe down her knee, making sure not to press down to hard. You hand Harry the bandage and he places it on her knee. You lift her up in your arms and the three of you walk back to the car to head home.

-

“Harry?”

“Yes, love?”

“Do you think that’s ever going to happen to Brielle again?” You say and he joins the bed with you, pulling you into his chest. He runs his fingers through your hair, making you close your eyes.

“‘M sure it will, m’love. But we will make sure that it doesn’t happen anytime soon.” He says, placing his lips on yours and lingering for a few seconds before pulling away and holding you impossibly closer to his chest.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you more, pretty girl.”

[kuroopaisen]

dawn. (sakusa kiyoomi)

➵  even monsters should have someone to bring them flowers.

wc: 3k

warnings: gn!reader, vampire!sakusa, visceral depiction of raw meat?

a/n: the biggest of thank yous to ren, as usual :( she doesn’t even like fantasy aus and yet she’s beta’d a fair chunk of them. as always, her advice is invaluable, and she helped polish this into something worthwhile. 

A note on the table.

The only sign you’d been here. That, and your lingering scent – warm, golden, comforting. 

He was almost sad that he’d missed you.

But the words in your letter would have to tide him over until your next conversation.

“Good morning! I hope you are well-rested this evening. I have left this meat here as requested. I couldn’t help but wonder what dishes you make with it. Are you much of a cook? If not, I am happy to try and prepare something for you. I cannot guarantee that it will be to your taste, but I will try my best!”

He let his eyes linger on it for a moment. He wondered how his chest might feel, if he was fully alive. Tight, maybe. Fuzzy.

Now, the thrum of emotions just made his senses sharper.

And that made him uncomfortable.

He turned his eyes to the parcel sitting to the side of your note.

He unwrapped the paper packaging with a trembling gloved hand.

The ripest cut of the belly. It sat in a pool of its own liquids, a crimson slab marbled with white. He knew that there wasn’t a sufficient amount of blood in it – but it’s all he could handle. All he could stomach. 

He took a deep breath. The air in his lungs did nothing for him, but some habits were harder to break than others, even if it had been a couple hundred years. 

He picked up the meat with both hands, holding it just shy of his mouth. His face crinkled as the scent filled his nose, putrid, offensive, intoxicating. 

It’s disgusting. But it’s what he had to do.

He sunk his fangs into the meat, the damp flesh pressing against his chin. He could feel the juices running down his chin, and he shivered. His eyes fluttered shut, perhaps in some attempt to steel himself. 

It’s not blood. It wouldn’t sustain him.

Instead, it would just make him sick.

This meat, this scant amount of blood threaded throughout it, wasn’t enough to sustain him. But he’d rather go hungry than go out for a hunt, either for animal or human.

The thought was absolutely abhorrent, both in its ethicality and hygiene.

This meat was not enough to sustain him. But it would stave off the hunger, at least for a few days. At least until the next slab of meat, when he would feel this all again.

He’s trembling as he drank, hoping, wishing that it would be over soon.

A loud gasp sliced through the kitchen.

Sakusa tore his fangs out of the meat, his head whipping around.

You were stood in the doorway, eyes wide and hands clamped over your mouth.

At your feet laid a bunch of sunflowers.

You stared at each other for a long moment.

What was he supposed to do? To say?

He knew what he looked like. Sharp fangs poking through his lips, red staining his chin, the veins running along his jaw dark beneath his skin as he fed.

“Sakusa, sir…” There was a tremble in your voice. He despised the sound.

“Get out.”

“Sir—”

“Get out.”

You knew now. You knew that he was a monster. That he was disgusting. You’d seen it with your own eyes – eyes full of terror. Eyes he’d never wanted to look at him like that.

You waited for just a moment. And then you were gone.

Sakusa let the meat fall out of his hands and plop onto the wrapping. His appetite had entirely disappeared despite the fact he wasn’t nourished. He closed his eyes, trying to round up his whirling thoughts. 

You’d seen him. You’d seen him in all his disgrace. You’d seen him as the monster he was. 

He swallowed roughly, turning his gaze to the doorway. 

The sunflowers were where you’d dropped them, scattered across the floor.

Were they why you’d come back? You shouldn’t have been here. You should’ve left after finishing your jobs.

But it was just like you to bring him flowers on a whim.

He sighed, stalking over to them and picking them up with a grimace. The least he could do was to give them some water.

✧ ✧

Vampires didn’t need sleep, but Sakusa liked to pretend he did anyway.

He always had. He just did his best to quiet his mind, lying under his covers as he waited for the hours to ebb by. He couldn’t leave the house during the day; if he tried, he would simply shrivel up and crumble in the sun.

He’d tried facing the sun, once. The burn had been unlike any pain he’d felt before.

And yet sometimes he'd leave the curtains open, just a crack. And he'd lie on the couch, watching the light filter in. Sometimes, he'd even let himself remember what the sun felt like.

But every evening, he had to ‘wake’ as the sun set, watching the light shrink away from him.

That evening though, something was different. Something shook him from his self-induced slumber with an abrupt shock.

That scent. Blood.

He shot to his feet, head whipping around in the direction of the smell. It was heavy, oppressive, so thick that he couldn’t think of anything else.

He stumbled into the kitchen, hoping, begging that he might find some relief.

In the middle of the kitchen table sat a bucket. Sakusa took a series of slow, laboured steps towards it, gripped by some half-conscious fear.

A letter laid next to it, written in a familiar scrawl.

“Sir, I admit that I am confused as to how to comprehend what I saw yesterday, but if my suspicions are correct, then I believe this will do you more good than a simple cut of meat. If my imagination has gotten away from me, then simply ignore this – my father told me that mixing this into the dirt makes for a fantastic fertiliser.”

Had you really brought him a whole bucket of blood? There was more than enough here to sustain him for a week – maybe even two. How had you gotten your hands on it? How had you snuck it into his house? How had you felt, lugging this foul liquid all the way to his estate?

He closed his eyes, trying to quell the thoughts tearing through his mind.

He looked into the bucket. A dark shadow stared back.

He’d forgotten what he looked like. He’d forgotten how his dark, curly hair framed his face, how two dark moles crowned his forehead, how dark and deep his eyes were.

This was the monster you’d seen savaging a slab of meat in the kitchen. This was the monster that you’d somehow gotten your hands on a bucket of blood for. This was the monster you’d given a reprieve.

On the other side of the bucket sat a vase of sunflowers; the ones he had arranged the other day. He could swear they looked fresher than yesterday.  

✧ ✧

That awful, intoxicating scent.

He had awoken to that small three times this week. But on that Monday morning, he wanted to see you. To ask you the questions that had been hounding him through his days. 

He stood at the far end of the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest as he slouched against the wall. 

You were humming to yourself as you walked in, your knuckles blanching as they gripped onto the handle of a deep bucket. 

You flinched as you caught sight of him, your eyes wide and owlish. The jolt caused the blood to slosh around in the bucket. Sakusa feared, for a moment, that it would splash on the floor.

You placed the bucket on the floor and bowed sharply.

“Where did you get that?” Sakusa asked, his voice low and sharp. He suspected that you would interpret his tone as an angry one. In truth, he was frightened more than anything. Frightened of how this conversation could go. 

You straightened up, fixing your eyes on him. They were still wide, still afraid. It almost looked like they’d pop out of your skull. “The butcher… they drain the caracsses before, you know…”

Ah. Your body language, your scent. It all screamed of discomfort. Distress, even. Of course you would feel that way, talking of such things. You were much too sweet for such talk.  

This was his fault.

But you continued.

“So, when I saw you in the kitchen that day, I thought that…” You finally dropped your gaze. He was grateful.

“I know,” he murmured. “I read your note.”

You looked up at him again, a new expression on your face. He realised, not without some surprise, that it wasn’t fear. Perhaps something closer to hesitation.

“You were quick to make such an assumption,” he muttered, looking up at the ceiling. Sakusa wouldn’t lie to you; not when you’d gone through all this effort for him. Though, perhaps he should tell you that it was safe for you to leave his employ, if you wished.

“Well, it didn’t come out of nowhere, did it?” You smiled gently, tilting your head at him.

His head snapped around as he raised an eyebrow at you.

You giggled. It didn’t sound intentional, and you cut it off quickly. But he was glad to have heard it. 

“You’re most active at night, you seem to actively avoid the sunlight, you’ve always kept a distance between us…” There was a hum in your voice. A pleasant sound, but an out-of-place one.

He frowned. Your last piece of evidence had little to do with his affliction, but he wasn’t about to point that out. He would’ve kept that distance regardless; perhaps he would be even more stringent with it, if he was still human. But it was of no matter.

“So, you’ve suspected I was a monster for a while,” Sakusa sighed. “And yet you kept coming back?”

You bit your lip, folding your hands in front of you.

He scoffed. “That was foolish of you.”

“Well, I…” You swallowed, scratching the back of your neck. “I… I thought you seemed lonely.”

Something about those words set his heart aflame. Him? Lonely? What right did you have to say something like that?

“And… and you’ve never tried to hurt me,” you mumbled, interrupting the rage swelling in his chest. “If you wanted to… to drink my blood, or, or…” You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. “Well, you would have done that by now, wouldn’t you?”

You’d been tending to his house for the better part of a year. The longest anyone had.

He just frowned, looking away from you.

But you weren’t done.

“And… well, you wanted me to bring you meat, right? Which means��� you probably weren’t hurting anyone else,” you bit your lip, tilting your head at him. “It may be foolish of me, but… I didn’t want to judge you for what you are.”

“For being a monster, you mean?” Sakusa snarled.

He couldn’t stop himself. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but he knew he sounded repulsive. He wanted to push you, to stop you from looking any closer. From seeing how horrible he truly was.

You looked at him for a painfully long moment. A moment he wished would shatter.

“You’re not a monster.”

“I’m disgusting.” A hiss. A baring of fangs. Responses made on instinct.

“And yet you won’t feed on humans,” you murmured, eyes scanning his face.

He faltered. Were the fangs not enough to make you turn and run? Was the bucket of blood at your feet not enough to make your stomach churn?

“Would a monster hold back like that?”

Would they? He couldn’t say.

“And besides,” you said, taking a tentative step towards him. When he didn’t move, you picked up the bucket and made your way for the kitchen table. You heaved the bucket onto it with a little grunt.

 “Even monsters should have someone to bring them flowers,” you smiled, nodding at the centre of the table. A vase, playing host to a small bunch of sunflowers.

“I see you haven’t brought any today,” he murmured, his eyebrows knitting together.

“I knew I wouldn’t need to,” you replied easily, leaning over to feel one of the petals. “You always look after them so well.”

He finally looked at you. You had the softest of smiles on your face. You didn’t look scared, or appalled, or upset. You were the perfect picture of contentment – just someone admiring the simple beauty of a flower.

A flower he had been responsible for nurturing.

Perhaps, there was still some humanity in him.

The thought was almost as soothing as your smile.

✧ ✧

You were terrified.

There were many whispers about Sakusa, and you’d heard them all. Even before you’d taken over the job of tending to his household, you were well-acquainted with the stories of this strange, pale man who lived alone in an excessively large mansion. A mansion that, except for a handful of peculiarities, was empty.

Previous housekeepers had nothing bad to say about him, but it was obvious they were unsettled by how strange he was. Apparently, he was a stickler for cleanliness. And yet, that wasn’t even the strangest thing about him.

You had almost decided not to take up the job, back when you’d first started. The thought of being in this big house alone with such a strange man had genuinely frightened you – but, as the story always goes, you needed the money.

After meeting Sakusa for the first time, you came to the conclusion that he probably wasn’t dangerous. Shy. Awkward. Intense. But not dangerous.

And maybe that really was foolish of you. That word had snuck back into your mind over and over, always in that harsh tone of his.

But you knew loneliness. It had carved a home inside you, a well so deep it could never overflow.

And in that strange, reticent man, you saw it. The face of a man who sheltered a deep, relentless loneliness; perhaps harsher and heavier than the one you knew. It was like he wanted to reach out, to find that sense of connection and understanding, and yet was too afraid to.  

Sakusa had never hurt you. He’d never made any move to seduce you, or trap you, or manipulate you. There were no stories of him having done that to anyone else either.

So, maybe you were being foolish. Maybe this was dangerous.

But you wanted to give him a chance. To extend a hand.

And that was why you had stayed later, with the intent of catching him.

You sat on the couch next to him in a tepid silence. You weren’t quite touching, but it was the closest he’d been to a human in a long, long time. He flinched, but he didn’t move away.

“May I?” You murmured, eyes flicking to the hands clenched in his lap.

Every instinct was screaming, a muddled cacophony of wants and fears.

Sakusa nodded, driven by something he didn’t quite understand. Something, perhaps, that he’d forgotten about long ago.

You gently took his hand in yours, easing the tension in his grip by running your thumb over the back of it.

“How long have you been like this?” You asked, looking right at him. You wanted him to know that you saw him, that you acknowledged him.

“Two hundred and forty-seven years.”

“Have you avoided people all that time?”

He looked away from you. In truth, he had avoided people long before he turned. 

You pressed your lips together, running your thumb over his knuckles. “Are there not… others like you?”

“There are,” he murmured. “And I want nothing to do with them.”

You bit back a smile, thoroughly amused by the dismissiveness in his tone. “Why?”

Sakusa frowned. The life of a vampire was invariably a life spent in solitude. As a rule, they weren’t the most social of creatures; and quite frankly, Sakusa was proud to be an outcast. But he wouldn’t bore you with the details.

“They’re all insufferable,” he mumbled.

You giggled. “How so?”

Sakusa pressed his lips together. There were many reasons to avoid covens; anxiety, petty politics, filth. Being around those who were just as disgusting as him – and who didn’t care about that. Who lived openly and freely as the monsters they were. Feeding on humans. Fighting amongst themselves.

Yes, covens sounded hellish.

But some part of him feared that maybe it was because he was afraid of connecting. Of reaching out. Of being seen – seen as the abhorrent creature that he was. To be around other vampires, to partake in their way of life, meant finally, truly facing the fact that he was a monster. That he was so, so far away from the human world.

From your world. You, who was sitting here with your hand wrapped around his.

“Why are you doing this?” He murmured, staring into the fire. The fireplace had been merely decorative until today. But he hoped that it was bringing you some warmth. He couldn’t tell how cold these early hours of the morning were. Everything was cold, to him.

“Doing what?” You asked, tilting your head at him.

He frowned. “Being so… so…”

He couldn’t find the words. Couldn’t shape them.

But you understood. He could tell, from the gentle look in your eyes.

“I want to get to know you,” you hummed, smiling at him.

He wanted to tell you that was foolish. That you were wasting your time. That he didn’t deserve you. But he had a feeling you would refute all of those points. That you’d smile and tell him that none of those things mattered. You were such a strange human.

“And,” you murmured, looking down at your entwined hands with a touch of red on your cheeks, “this might be selfish of me, but… I want to see you smile.”

And you got stranger. Every time you open your mouth, you would say something so odd. But it’s not unwelcomed.

He thought that you were something like the sun.

You gave off a certain warmth; the type that begot growth. It was a warmth that others could flourish in, that would give them the love and care that they needed. Perhaps this was the closest he would ever come to sunlight again.

Maybe he was ready to welcome the sun.

[queenmylovely]

Hey hope you're well 😊 i think the holiday advent idea is lovely! Id like to request something that just popped into my head if you would like to write it, no worries if not 😊 So I was thinking Queen are doing an album release party which also happens to be on new years eve and you work for a music magazine and have to interview the band members, you're nervous because its Queen and obviously you're a huge fan, and have a crush on rog 😁 and you bump into him before the interview and he has his flirt on but you're trying to stay professional because you know you have to interview him later, and then after the interview (which incldues a few suggestive comments and a bit of teasing) you bump into each other again on the dancefloor just as the clock strikes 12! 😁 sorry if its a bit cheesy but i think you could put your own cool spin on it😁 💕

bonus holiday advent post! since this was nye themed, I figured dec 30th was the perfect day to post it. Anyway, I really liked this and had fun with it so I hope you like it as well! (no warnings, 1.9k)

☆☆☆

Walking into a giant ballroom filled with lights, music, and people, you tried to take it all in and calm yourself with a deep breath. There were quite a few people you recognized and many you didn’t, but none of them would recognize you. This was your first big assignment for your magazine, after your editor had finally seen your worth when you filled in for a sick coworker at a Fleetwood Mac concert a month ago. Now, you were at a release party for Queen’s new album, News of the World, which they had decided to host on New Year’s Eve.

It had been one thing to go to a Fleetwood Mac concert and do a review, but going to a release party and actually interviewing the band was a whole nother level, and you were trying not to freak out. Not only your dignity, but your career, depended on you being able to hold yourself together professionally before, during, and after the interview. All of this was going to be harder as well considering you had a massive crush on the drummer, Roger Taylor. You had yet to see any of the members of the band on your initial survey of the room, a fact that you were glad for, and hoped that you could keep a relative distance until the time of the interview.

As per the directions of your editor, you had gone out and bought a nice outfit for the occasion with the company credit card. You had tucked your press pass into your clutch as soon as you were through the doors in a further effort to fit in, grabbing a glass of champagne from a waiter for the same reason.

Skirting around the edges of the room until you came to a group of high tables without chairs, you stood at one, content to people watch and get a good feel for the energy of the party so that you would be able to convey it well through your writing. Most people’s clothes ranged from cocktail party to black tie, though a couple were wearing something akin to circus performer costumes. This would have been confusing, but you had read and heard lots of far stranger things about parties hosted by rockstars, so you just accepted it.

You had finished your glass of champagne a few minutes ago but had decided not to get another so you could stay alert for the interview when you saw someone walking over to you out of the corner of your eye. Turning to greet them with a smile, your stomach dropped when you realized who it was: Roger Taylor.

“Hi,” you said, hoping you sounded normal while you fell to pieces on the inside.

“Hi,” he said with an easy smile. He held up one of the two champagne flutes in his hands, “Looked like you needed a top up.”

You bit your lip and hesitated for a second, but figured you just wouldn’t drink it all and accepted, clinking your glass with his and taking a sip.

“So, I don’t believe we’ve met,” he said, looking you up and down in a way that made your cheeks feel hot. “What’s your name?”

You told him just your first name, in case he knew who was interviewing him later. Even though you were completely flustered, you were going to use this opportunity to see what he was like not during an interview.

“I’m Roger,” he replied.

“I know,” you told him and he smirked, but since it was playful you laughed.

“So do you always stand off to the side alone at parties?” he asked as if he were just curious, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes, “I like observing.”

“Hmm, I’m more of a partaker, but I’ll give it a try,” Roger said, coming around to the side of the table you were on and standing right next to you, the front of his left shoulder just inches behind your right one. You could practically feel the warmth radiating off of him but took another deep breath in to center yourself.

“So what exactly are you observing?” Roger leaned in to ask, his breath tickling the hair at the nape of your neck.

“Actually,” you said, turning to him quickly so he had to tilt his head back to avoid knocking your heads together. You suppressed a laugh, “You could probably help me out. I was wondering who those people are.”

Roger reluctantly broke eye contact with you to follow where your hand was gesturing, making a sound of understanding when he recognized who they were, “oh yeah, a couple years ago Fred went to some circus afterparty or something and ever since he’s invited whatever circus performers are in town to our parties because ‘we need them to offset all the boring executives.’”

He did a bit of an impression of Freddie Mercury that made you laugh, which he seemed to like.

“You know, I haven’t seen any of your bandmates in the crowd yet,” you said, hoping more conversation would distract you from how close he was and how interested he was making it clear he was.

“Well let’s see, last I saw Deaky he was up by the speakers; the man loves to dance. And Brian was over by the bar when I left him. Freddie could honestly be anywhere, but actually he’s wearing almost exactly the same color blue as you,” Roger told you, lightly touching the fabric of your dress, his palm just barely resting on your waist.

He watched your reaction, waiting to see what you would do next, whether you would welcome the contact or brush him off. You looked at his hand, then up at him, feeling his fingertips tense ever so slightly when he saw the look in your eyes. But you weren’t quite sure what to do; on one hand Roger Taylor’s hand was on your waist, on the other, you were supposed to be interviewing him very soon and any sort of fraternization wouldn’t be very professional.  

Before you could decide, someone walked towards you and you looked over to see who it was, Roger withdrawing his hand at the same time.

It was the man who you had set up the interview with, Jim something? You weren’t sure that he had seen Roger’s hand, but you really hoped he hadn’t.

“It’s time,” he said with a small smile, gesturing a hand towards a pair of couches you could see on the other end of the short wall of the room.

“Can’t the interview wait Miami, I’m in the middle of a conversation,” Roger asked, a bit of whine making its way into his voice.

“I actually was talking to her, but yes, you’ll have to come along as well,” Miami replied shortly, turning and walking away, not waiting for you two to follow.

Roger turned to you, his eyebrows practically to his hairline, “You’re the reporter?”

You started walking and Roger kept up pace with you, “Yes.”

He laughed wryly, “Oh you’re good, aren’t you?”

“You’re the one who approached me, actually,” you reminded him with the raise of a brow.

“Well-- I--” Roger spluttered, trying to find his way out but failing before you had reached the rest of the band.

You smiled brightly and introduced yourself to the other three, sitting opposite of them on the other couch. They exchanged glances between you and Roger, especially when he elected to sit next to you rather than squish in with the three of them, but didn’t say anything.

From there, the interview actually went really well. Roger didn’t seem to harbor any resentment that you didn’t tell him you were going to interview him. If anything, he was more open with his flirting, making little quips and innuendos that led to a lot of ducking your head. A couple times the others intervened with a “Sorry about him, darling” from Freddie, a couple of pointed throat clearings from Brian, and a somewhat subtle kick in the shin from John. Truthfully, you wouldn’t have minded what he was saying except that you were trying to act professional in front of his bandmates and their manager, as well as get your story.

But overall, the four of you got along great, falling into a good conversation rather than an awkward interview. They appreciated that you asked informed questions about their music, which you were happy about because you had done a lot of research in preparation. Another favorite topic was fashion and you and Freddie spent a good five minutes raving about the boutique you had bought the dress from. It was kinda sad to be done with the interview, but Miami intervened, telling the band they had to get back to meet with some executives.

While they went and did that, you went to the hallway, doing a quick happy dance at how well it went before finding the phone and calling your editor.

---

Brian and Freddie were taking the brunt of the interest from the executives as they had written the most songs, so Deaky turned to Roger and nodded towards the hallway where you were visible, talking on the phone.

“Bet she’s telling her editor all about how Roger the womanizer wouldn’t stop hitting on her during the interview,” he said sardonically.

Roger’s smile from seeing your excited gestures fell, “What?”

“I’ll just say that Fred and Bri will be disappointed if the interview isn’t focused on our music,” Deaky said, a warning in his tone.

Roger swallowed and nodded in understanding.

---

By the time your editor had let you off the phone, it was only about ten minutes to midnight. You made your way through the excited crowd to the packed bar, hoping to grab a drink in time for the New Year. It was taking a while but you were still smiling to yourself about the interview when you felt a tap on the shoulder.

It was Roger, once again holding two flutes of champagne.

“Need a drink?” he asked, his smile almost a bit shy.

You grinned back and accepted, cheersing and taking a drink with him.  

“So--”

“So--”

“Oh go ahead,” Roger told you.

“I was just going to say sorry that I didn’t tell you I was a reporter, if you want anything to be off the record, just tell me what and I won’t print it,” you told him quickly. “What were you gonna say?”

Roger huffed a laugh, “Just that I’m sorry if I distracted from the interview. I should’ve let you do your job.”

“I think a lie of omission and unprofessionalism are about equal offences. No hard feelings?” you asked, looking up at him.

He nodded, sticking his hand out for you to shake. You grasped it and couldn’t help but notice how warm he still was, and how the calluses on his fingers from drumming felt against your hands. Then Roger pulled you forward by your hand and you stumbled, laughing, until you had to let go to steady yourself with a hand on his chest.

You looked up at him, searching his gaze. His hand came back to your waist tentatively and you nodded, almost imperceptible, but he saw and a small smile graced his lips. Then you heard the crowd start the countdown around you and you smiled wide.

They got to one and yelled Happy New Year!, the sound barely reaching your ears as Roger’s lips pressed to yours, tasting sweet like champagne.

★★★

tagging bc it’s long: @drowseoftaylor @caborhapch @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands @stardust-galaxies @theblossomknows   

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Into the Void

Chapter 3

Word Count: 4,907

A flash of light and then a cold, wet nose is in my face waking me up. The first thing I see is Chica's face staring me down. I smile at her and go to sit up, forgetting where I am. I yelp as I bash my head against the underside of Mark's bed. I rub my forehead as I put my head down. A chill goes down my spine as I remember what happened last night.

Mark would have told me if his house was haunted. He knows how I am about spooky things. That's why I can't play horror games by myself. I'm trying to convince myself that it was all just a dream when a face pops over the side. "Bri? What are you doing under my bed?"

"Haha. Yeah about that," I scoot out from underneath the bed until I can sit up properly. I'm not really sure how to explain, so I hesitate before facing him. "Um, I either had an absolutely terrible nightmare, or your house is haunted as fuck."

Mark just stares me down as I pick up the pillow and blanket. He is trying very hard to remain calm, but I can tell something is wrong. "Are you telling me this place is haunted? If it is, I'm sleeping under your bed every night while I'm here. You know I can't deal with the spooky." I try to make a joke about the whole thing, but his reaction is freaking me out.

He gives me a forced laugh." I think I would know if this place is haunted. I've lived here for how long? Nothing weird has ever happened to me. It must have been an awful dream. Come on, let's get breakfast." He chuckles and starts getting up.

I head back to the guest room and throw the pillow and blanket on the bed. I close the door and start getting dressed. Well, that was strange. Mark must be trying to freak me out. Must be another prank of his. I shake my head and go to the bathroom, bumping into Sean along the way.

"Something smells amazing," I say as I walk into the kitchen. The entire kitchen smells like bacon, and I see Mark making pancakes. I look over at the spot where I left my cup of milk, but it's gone. Maybe it was just a dream after all?

"Ha. I figured I should step up my game. Otherwise, Amy might kill me for being such a bad host." Mark turns to look at me briefly before turning back to the stove. Sean laughs at that. He pulls out a chair from the island for me.

"I can't wait to tell her that ye left Bri hanging at the airport. She'll do more than murder you." Sean smiles at me with a glint in his eyes.

"Hey, I said I was sorry. I really did get caught up in recording." Mark pouts as he starts putting pancakes onto plates. I grab mine and start drowning them in syrup. "I believe you, Mark. If I didn't, you would be dead by now." All three of us laugh at that.

We all joke and tease each other throughout breakfast. Eventually, the talk turns into what we'll be doing for the next couple of weeks. Mark and Sean prerecorded enough videos that we'll be able to just hang out for several days, but they still want to do a few collab videos. They try their hardest to talk me into doing it with them, but I'm not sure if it's something I really want to do.

After breakfast is done and the kitchen is cleaned, we head into the living room to watch a movie. We decide to watch Avengers and make ourselves comfortable. Mark and Sean are cracking jokes about Fury when I decide to look at the comments from the stream yesterday. I'm curious as to what people are saying about my surprise appearance.

I'm scrolling through comments and see that a lot of them seem to find me funny. People are giving timestamps of when I start my karate chop freak out, but not for the reason I'm expecting. Most people are screaming about a Darkiplier appearance and theorizing that I have something to do with it. I go to the time people are talking about and play the video.

I see myself walking towards the door when all the color in the video turns grayish. Mark and Sean are oblivious to what's happening behind them. One second, I'm alone at the door the next, a figure is behind me. The figure is taller than me and wearing a black suit. You can't tell what exactly is happening since we are so far away from the camera. There is a faint red and blue layer over the figure as if the camera was picking up echoes of them that are out of sync. All of a sudden, I spin around, karate chopping the place that the figure should have been.

The video goes back to normal, and Sean looks back at me, laughing. I pause the video and just stare at my phone. I rewatch that part again in shock. I look up at Mark and Sean. "Guys, pause the movie a sec."

"What's up?" Sean asks as Mark pauses the movie.

"Did you do anything to the stream after it ended?" I hold up my phone as though that should be enough of an answer.

Mark just takes my phone and watches the part that I'm talking about. Sean is watching over his shoulder and the look at each other. Sean goes back to his seat and starts doing something on his phone. "Yeah, you were asleep when I got done with it, so I didn't have a chance to mention it to you. The fans have been clamoring for another appearance and it just seemed to fit in with your actions." He shrugs and hands me back my phone.

"Oh, um, ok." Something was definitely up with both of them but Mark's explanation made sense. Mark continued the movie but neither of them seemed as interested in it now. They kept looking at each other. Mark caught me staring at him a few times and every time would give me a goofy smile.

When the movie ends, both of them get up. Mark hands me the remote, looking at me weirdly. "Hey, Sean and I have to do a few videos, so you're welcome to whatever. It'll probably be a few hours before we're done so feel free to do whatever you want. I have some consoles hooked up if you want to play games." They quickly leave before I can say anything.

Something is very wrong and I was going to find out exactly what it is. I've been friends with Mark long enough to know when something is upsetting him. With all the weird things happening in this house, I was not going to be left in the dark.

I wait about 10 minutes before I put on a random movie and start sneaking upstairs. I can hear Mark and Sean arguing about something as I get to the door, but not what they are saying. Very carefully I open the door a crack and their voices flood the hallway.

"Ye need ta tell her the truth. Ye're puttin her in more danger by not sayin anything!" Sean's accent is getting thicker with every word.

"I can keep her safe! I'll make a deal with him if I have to! Besides, you don't have any room to talk. You told me you had Anti under control, but now you're saying she saw him in the mirror?"

"He's been fighting me more the past couple a weeks. I don't know what she saw bit if ye had seen her face. It was like she was waiting for something ta jump outta the mirror. I can make up an excuse and go home, but it'll be harder to explain if ye send her back when she just got here." Sean's voice softens as worry thickens his voice.

Mark sighs, "How am I supposed to explain this, Sean? Oh, hey Bri? That weird shit that you've been seeing is really Dark and Anti. Oh, you know, our alter egos, that are actually real. Not sure what they want with you, but you need to leave now.

Upon hearing this absolutely terrifying conversation, I quietly close the door. I'm damn near hyperventilating as I run through the house and out the back door. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck What do I do with this? They be hot, but if the videos are anything to go by, they also be outrageously dangerous and not worth it.

My breathing is erratic as I panic. I start walking around a tree, counting my steps, to calm myself. It won't do any good if all of us are freaking out.

If this is actually real, then what could Dark want with me? I haven't seen Mark in person in so long. I don't live close by. There was no real advantage to going after me.

I must have done something absolutely terrible in my past life for me to get this much bad luck in one lifetime. Couldn't even make it one day without something shitty coming up. My panic is gone but I'm far from calm. I put my back to the tree and sit down.

I can hear an occasional shout from the boys but for the most part the house is silent. I sigh and think about my options. If I run now, I will always be looking over my shoulders. Not to mention I'll never forgive myself for taking the coward's way out.

I feel something caress my arm, but when I look, there is nothing near me. I decide to trust my gut and start talking. Either he is there or I'm crazy and I'll just be talking to myself. I lean my head back against the tree and try to look as nonchalant as possible.

"Are they still arguing about how to deal with you two, or are they actually recording now?" Silence fills the air and seems to last for eternity. I stare at the ground for a few moments. "It's rude to ignore someone when they're talking to you. I thought you had better manners than that, Darkiplier?" A cold breeze rushes by, and the world starts to take on a gray tinge.

I look up at the sound of slow clapping. "Well, well, well. Look who has found her courage. I wonder what could have changed that?" Dark puts his arms behind his back and smirks. He looks exactly as he'd in all of Mark's videos, down to the slight echoes, that spasm at odd times. He cracks his neck and looks down at me, only a few steps away.

"I thought it was a ghost haunting Mark's house. I tend to be a chicken when it comes to things like that. You, on the other hand, don't terrify me. I know who you are and that takes away the fear factor." I stare him down as I stand up and lean against the tree. "Now, are you going to answer my question?"

"If that's what you were planning, you would have done it already. Instead, you're being a dramatic bitch and trying to scare me. Now knock it off and answer the question or I'm going inside." I poke him in the chest to show I'm not afraid of him.

Dark stares at me for a moment and then takes a few steps back. "They are indeed recording. I expect they won't be done for some time." I sigh in relief. I really didn't want them to come looking for me while Dark is still here. Who knows what would happen?

"So, why are you harassing me? Is it because I'm here and you like freaking out Mark?" I cross my arms and try to ignore the shadows that are gently tugging at my clothes in different places.

"Oh Bri. I've been watching you for quite some time. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment. For you to finally make an appearance here. I have such big plans for you." He smiles and there is so much malicious intent in it.

It enrages me that he stands in front of me, acting so high and mighty. Trying to intimidate and threaten me, like I'm just a pawn in his stupid games. I don't even think as I step forward and slap Dark as hard as I can. "I will not be a pawn in whatever game you're playing! All I wanted was to get away from my shitty life and spend some time with my best friend, AND YOU ARE RUINING IT! Now run back to whatever hole you crawled out of and stay there!" My breathing is heavy and I stand my ground.

I am entirely unprepared when Dark quickly strikes, wrapping his hand around my neck and lifts me into the air. His hand squeezes my neck and I claw at his hand, struggling to breath.

"You have no say in what happens, little girl." Dark glares at me. I think I might have pissed him off. Oops. "I will do as I please! The more you fight me, the more pain you will incur. I applaud you for attempting to stand your ground, but I wouldn't tempt fate, if I were you." He throws me to the ground, where I stay, trying to relearn how to breath. I feel a foot on my back, pushing me into the ground, on my stomach. I struggle to get up, but Dark is far stronger than the average man.

"Two days!" I struggle to get even those words out. The pressure on my back disappears and I roll over, to find him crouched next to me. His hands are clasped together and he is looking at me with a question on his face. "Give me two days of uninterrupted hang out time with Mark and Sean, before you do anything else. I'm supposed to stay for a few weeks. That still gives you plenty of time to do your spooky act. That also includes Anti. Tell him to stop fighting Sean until the two days are up."

That dick had the nerve to laugh. A full throated, throw your head back, kind of laugh. "Trying to make a deal are we? You can't make a deal if you hold none of the cards."

"I can just leave. Pack up all my things up and leave before the guys are done. What would happen to your precious plans if I did that? You said it yourself. You were waiting for this moment, when I came to visit Mark. Mark would understand if I left." I slowly stand up, rubbing at my sore throat.

Dark stands and looks at me as if I'm a dog that just learned a new trick. "It would appear you hold a few cards after all. If I do this, I want a few things in return. You won't tell either of them about this conversation. You won't leave before the second day is up. Last but not least, you won't fight me when the time comes."

The first two I expected but not the last. If I do this, I am essentially giving up. Sure, I can try to outsmart him, but will I be able to? I don't even know what Dark has planned. I think about it for a few minutes, but I had my choice the moment Dark had stopped talking.

"Fine. Starting tomorrow I get two days with the guys with no interference from Anti or you. After that, I'm yours." I sigh as Dark gives me one of his smiles. A smile I've only seen in a Darkiplier video. Charm oozes from him as he takes one of my hands and kisses the back of it.

"I look forward to our next encounter, Bri." He walks behind me and when I turn around, he's not there. The world is full color again and the only trace of Dark, is the pain in my throat. I take one last look around the yard and then go inside.

I head to the bathroom to make sure there's no bruising on my neck. There's no discoloration, for which I'm thankful for. I may have made a terrible decision but I've bought myself two days before the shit hits the fan. I put on a smile and head towards the recording room. I don't hear any yelling coming from the other side, so I just barge in.

I run smack dab into a chest as soon as I open the door. Quickly backing up, I see I ran into Sean. "Ope. Sorry about that. I didn't know anyone was standing next to the door." I rub my poor nose.

"Ha. That's ok. We just finished up and I was about to head downstairs. Did you need something?" Sean asks as he backs up.

"Well, I figured it's about lunchtime and was wondering if you guys like pizza? My treat." I see Mark's head swiftly turn at the sound of pizza. Sean follows me as I walk over to Mark. "That sounds like a great idea! I'll order if you buy. We can go swimming after we eat."

"Sounds like a great plan. I was ogling your pool while you guys were up here." This will also give me the chance to appreciate the fine artwork that is Sean McLoughlin. Mark is nice too, but he is like my brother. Would feel really weird to ogle him.

I run to my room to get my wallet. I find it quickly enough and rush back. Mark is already on the phone, so I just hand my card over to him. Sean is sitting on the couch in the back of the room, so I go over to him. "Hey, I'm going to go set up the living room so we can play some games while we wait. Care to join me or do you need to finish up in here?" Sean gets up and looks at his buddy for a minute. "I'm finished with my stuff. I think we're going to edit the videos tomorrow, since we already have material we can upload today. So, lead the way m'lady."

Chuckling, I make my way out to the living room. Sean gets us drinks while I hook up the ps4 and start browsing games. "Ooo. We can play Jackbox! I play it with Mark occasionally, when he does a live stream."

"I'm game. That's always a fun game to play." He sets the drinks on the table. He seems much more relaxed than before. That subtle sense of tension is gone. Dark must have been able to talk to Anti. Good, that means Dark might actually stick to the deal. Mark joins us about 5 minutes later. "Jackbox huh? Always a great pick." He flops down on top of me while Sean sits in the chair. "Geez, Mark! Haven't you heard of personal space?" I laugh and push him on to the floor. Sean starts cracking up and Mark just pouts.

"Well, yeah, but you're just so comfy." He sits on the far end of the couch and spreads out. We get the game going and play until the pizza gets here. We continue playing while we ear, all of winning a fair amount.

After lunch, we clean up and then go change into our swimsuits. After I get my swimsuit on, I put my hair into a ponytail, so my hair doesn't get in the way. As I make my way into the kitchen, I hear shouting outside. Mark and Sean are already jumping into the pool while Chica is laying under a tree in the shade.

I take a running leap towards the pool. "CANNONBALL!" I scream just before I jump in. I land in between them, causing a tidal wave to hit them both. I start laughing the moment I break the surface.

"The look on both your faces was hysterical. Just sheer terror. Did you think I was going to jump on one of you?" They are still wiping their faces. "Well, that's what it looked like from our angle!" Mark starts laughing and splashes me. The antics don't stop for a few hours. By the time we go back inside, it's 5 in the afternoon. I'm looking through the cabinets and fridge for something to fix, when a towel is placed over my head. I'm laughing and take the towel off to find Sean behind me.

"Watcha lookin for?"

"I was thinking about making tacos. I'm just checking if I have all the ingredients. Looks like someone needs to make a grocery run. Go get changed and see if Mark will go with you to the store." I start winding up the wet towel as Sean slowly backs away. He yelps and takes off running as I crack the towel in his direction. I hear him laughing as he gets farther away. I find enough beef in the fridge to make enough for the three of us. Thankfully, Mark has taco seasoning, so I don't have to wait to get the meat started. All we really need is stuff for toppings. By the time I find a pen and paper, and write down everything down we need, Sean and Mark are back.

"You don't have to cook Bri. We can always order something." Mark grabs the list from my hands and skims over it. "Oh no! I'm not eating takeout everyday while I'm here I want real food too." I waggle my finger at him. "Okay. It was just a suggestion." He chuckles.

"Are you coming with us?"

"Na. I'm going to get started on the meat. It should be done by the time you get back."

"We won't take long." They head out the door and I go upstairs to change into actual clothes.

When I get back in the kitchen, the lights start to lightly flicker. I sigh as I get skillet out and turn on the stove. "I would say it's rude to come over unannounced, but I guess this is you announcing yourself." I continue prepping everything before turning around. As I expected, Darkiplier is standing on the side of the island. The world is lightly tinged gray again. Dark is smiling and gently leaning against the island.

"How homely. Cooking dinner as if you've always lived here." His tone is slightly condescending.

"Like I said before, I'm not eating takeout for every meal that I'm here. Are you hungry? Do you even eat?" I'd never thought about it before, but it doesn't hurt to be polite.

"I can eat but I don't need it as a sustenance." My question seems to have thrown him off. I chuckle to myself as I get something out of the freezer and throw it at him. "Yeah, well, eat a Snickers anyway. It might make you something other than a condescending bastard." Dark avoids the candy and slams his hand down.

"Do you think this is a game!! That I won't hurt you now, just because of our deal? Well, I'll let you in on a secret. Our deal doesn't start until tomorrow. I still have until midnight to do what I want with you." An echo of him screams briefly as he walks towards me. I know I should be terrified, but I just can't Instead, I focus on getting the meat into the skillet. The skillet is hot enough that the meat immediately starts sizzling. I can feel Dark glaring at me and the tension is rising.

I'm 99.99% sure he is waiting for me to break the silence. I have no idea what to say, though. He pretty much just threatened my life. How do you even respond to that? I'm going to do what I do best, and pretend he isn't even there. I get my phone out, get on YouTube, and put on my Darkiplier/Antisepticeye song playlist.

I put the volume on full blast and pro my phone against the wall, where I can watch the video. Singing along to the fan edited versions of different songs, I continue to cook. After a few songs the atmosphere seems calmer. If it wasn't for that weird, gray tinge, I would say it's because Dark has left.

I continue to sing and ignore him. The boys should, hopefully, be back soon. I'm not sure how far the store is, so they could be gone for another 30 minutes. The meat is almost done, so I turn to start looking for a strainer, and bump into Dark. My breath hitches and my heart starts racing as I look up at him. His face is neutral as he steps asides. When he's like this, you can almost forget what giant douchebag he is. I start blushing and quickly grab the stuff I need. I put a bowl in the sink and put the strainer on top.

Just ignore him. Pretend he doesn't exist and everything will go back to normal. I take a deep breath and go to grab the skillet off the stove. A mitten appears in front of my face, just as I'm about to grab the skillet. I look up at Dark but he doesn't say anything, just holds the mitt in front of me. Watching him is like watching a predator hunt its prey.

Focused.

Patient.

Entirely unnerving.

"Uh, thanks." I hurriedly put the mitten on and take the skillet over to the sink. I dump the meat in the strainer and wait for the grease to drain, before putting it back in the skillet. Once on the stove, I dump in the taco seasoning and stir it up a bit. I turn the stove down so it keeps the meat warm but doesn't keep cooking it. I take a quick peak at Dark, who is still watching me, and then grab my phone. I turned my playlist off and switched it to a more classical playlist. Sure, I can't sing to these songs but he seemed to be a Mozart kinda guy.

I refuse to see what his reaction is as I put my phone on the counter. I grab a sheet tray, put the hard tacos on it, then put them in the oven, and turn the oven on. There's nothing else for me to do until the guys get back, so I go sit on a stool that's on the opposite side. Checking my phone, I see that Mark texted me saying they were on the way.

Oh, thank you so much, sweet baby jebus. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Two visits in one day, from a guy I didn't even know existed, has been exhausting.

"The guys will be here soon. Are you sticking around for the show or you gonna pull a disappearing act?" I stare him down and really hopes he leaves. The less time around him, the better.

"Remember the deal, Bri." Dark stares at me for a moment with his hand out. I'm about to question him, when a Snickers appears in his hand. Without another word he walks off into.... Nothingness. He just disappears.

I just give a sigh of relief as the grey tinge leaks away. "Dark, you may be hot as hell but you are so damn dramatic." I mumble to myself as I look towards the spot where the Snickers landed. Sure enough, it's gone. "Dramatic." I chuckle.

As I'm pulling out the taco shells, I hear the door open. "We're backkkk!" Sean yells out.

"Took you long enough! Thought I was gonna have to eat by myself!" I walk into the living room and see Sean and Mark struggling to get into the house.

"We did some actual shopping. Not just what was on the list." Mark huffs as a bag gets stuck on the coffee table. I squeeze past them both so I can shut the door.

"Good! Means I don't have to rely on takeout for food." I laugh as I take some of the bags from Mark. "Are there any more groceries that need brought in?"

"We are men! We bring everything in, in one trip." He huffs as though he is offended.

"Multiple trips are for pansy's!" Sean chimes in from the kitchen.

I'm laughing as I close the front door. "Okay. I got it. I'm sorry I asked. I won't do it again."

I start pulling out the stuff for toppings and get it ready as the boys put everything else away. When we are done, we start making our plates. Dinner passes relatively quickly with our joking and seems to be over before we know it. After dinner and we clean up, I decided to say goodnight to the guys and head to bed. Yeah, it was only 8:00 by the time I got in bed, but I had an exhausting day. After taking a shower I jump into bed and turn off the light.

I'm super excited for these next two days.

[thecharliebaker]

Emma’s Court Hearing | 22nd October

Charlie: It had been a long morning and every time he tried to grab his coat to leave the house, Lottie started screaming her head off and wouldn’t settle. Then Jocelyn was asking him a million and one questions and Hope was fussy and Sophie had had a bad night and he was worried about Ruby... but of course he was going to be here for Emma, especially today, so he eventually got out the door and into the car and headed off, arriving probably dead last. “I’m here, I’m here. Sorry..” He shook his head, giving Josie a little hug hello and then moving to wrap Emma up in his arms next. “Hey, you.. you ready?”

Eric: Eric shook Brendan's hand before placing his hand on the small of Imogen's back. "I'm here if you need to leave at anytime. I've got you." He whispered to her, kissing her head gently.

Brendan: He shook Eric's hand as well. It was what they did, being Matthews men. "Well she seems like she is a friendly. Which is good thing I think." Looking over at Charlie, he gave him a nod. It always seemed like there was tension between them because of Lydia. But they were in each other's lives and not just because of Lydia but because of Josie and Emma.

Elliot: "I'm here." Elliot came up to the group, wrapping an arm around Nina to hug her. "I'm here for support not as a cop today." Which was true, he was there for that. He knew how much his daughter loved her wife and plus Emma was family.

Emma: Emma looked over at Brianne and took her hand gently. "It's going to be okay." She told her softly and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Looking over at Steve for a moment. "Yeah, I think we are ready." No matter what today brought, she knew that she did the right thing. Killing him. And she didn't regret that at all and never would.

Steve: Steve nodded his head a little bit. "Okay, so as discussed. We will have our opening statements, Charlie they will probably call you first and then they will call the officers that responded, and then Nina, now they might ask if you believe Emma married you this way you couldn't testify against her, now Imogen they will bring up your past relationship with Emma, why did you guys break up and things like that. They might even bring in Lauren and Noelle. Which brings us to Douglas Hannah, who not only hit Emma but her wife as well, it works in our favor cause he has already confessed the Hale's hired him to take care of their problem. Then that brings us to you Bri, if you are up for it.  And then there is Martin Hale, he was the biggest key in this case cause of his DNA that matches the twins." Steve told all of them as they moved inside. "Emma your statement will be last and I'm going to try everything in my powers to make sure you go home to your family."

Charlie: He nodded, hating to even think of that night because he got so angry and he didn't think it was fair Emma had to relive it... but of course he was going to be here and do what he had to.

Nina: She leaned into Elliot, needing to feel the comfort. She hated this and she hoped that Steve would be able to do it... that Emma would come home.

Brianne: She looked over at Emma, trying for a slight smile. "I hope so." Hopefully Emma was right and it would all be okay. She knew this was harder for Emma but she was having a hard time knowing what she was here for. She listened to Steve as he talked and she nodded. "I can do it." She said.

Emma: Emma leaned into Charlie for a moment before moving to walk with everyone else. Looking over at Brianne. "I believe in you." She told her, before taking Nina's hand again.  "I love you." She told her softly. No matter what happened today, she needed Nina to know that and believe that.  Moving into the courthouse and into the room that the proceeding would be at. Emma took a seat where Steve told her to do so. When they judge came in, they all stood up and then sat down. The judge looked around for a moment after sitting down. "I do not need or want this case to turn into a spectacle. I will have anyone thrown out that causes a scene. We are here to determined the fate of Mrs. Everet-Williamson for the murder of Duncan Hale and rape of Mrs. Everett-Williamson by Duncan Hale. We have Mrs. Emma Everett-Williamson present and Mr. Steve Bates representing her. For the Hales, we have Mrs. Victoria Hale present and Mr. Scott Glass representing her and the family. Opening statements."

Steve: Steve listened to the opening statement by this Scott Glass person, he wasn't sure how good of a lawyer he was because he had never heard of him. But he was a big deal in Liverpool and apparently was friends with the Hale's, which is why he took the case. Considering that they didn't have any money now. Thanks to Brendan. After he was finished, Steve stood up and moved into the center of the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, your honor, my client Mrs. Emma Everett-Williamson may not be innocent of these charges against her, she is an outstanding citizen, a protective mother and loving wife. But she acted out of fear and self defense one night. My client didn't act out of malice, she didn't actively seek out Duncan Hale in any way like they want you believe.  My client was afraid that Duncan Hale would attack her again or worse. She was not only protecting herself but her children as well. When the Hale's found out she was pregnant, they sent that man right there." He pointed over to Douglas for a moment. "To either hurt Emma and cause her to lose the babies or kill all three of them. My client, Emma Everett-Williamson was acting out of fear and protection just like any parent would. Thank you." He moved to sit down next to Emma again. They called Charlie up and after the other lawyer was finished, Steve stood up and moved into the center of the room again. "Mr. Baker, can you take us through your day all the way up until finding my client, your daughter in that alleyway."

Charlie: He felt a bit less uncomfortable with eyes on him nowadays, more like himself again, but this was definitely an uncomfortable situation. "Well, I was working. I was supposed to meet her for dinner, with Nina. I would have met her at the centre but she wanted to walk so I waited. She didn't turn up on time. Then more time passed and I thought maybe she's gotten caught up with work or something..or maybe she had lost track of time. So I started walking. I figured I'd meet her coming along the path... I assumed we'd just meet in the middle." He cleared his throat and glanced down, shaking his head. "It had snowed pretty badly, it was dark. I didn't see her. There weren't any lights on at the centre so I turned back again. I heard crying, I think. I don't really remember." He dug his nails into his palm, looking up over the room, finding his gaze on Victoria somehow. "She was lying there in the alley. All roughed up. Some disgusting bas--... someone had clearly hurt her." He turned back to Steve. "I picked her up and I carried her away."

Steve: Steve listened to him. "I see." He glanced over at Emma for a moment, seeing Nina's hand on her shoulder and her own over hers. "When you found Mrs. Everett-Williamson, you took her right into the hospital correct?" He glanced back to Charlie. "And the did the doctors confirm that she had been attacked, and raped by someone? Where you there when she talked to police? If so can you describe how my client was at that time?" He questioned, knowing how hard these questions must be. "I'm sorry, if these questions are rough for you, Mr. Baker. I really am."

Charlie: He shifted uncomfortably, hating to have to relive this so god knows how Emma felt. He nodded. "Yes, I did." He said, crossing his arms. "The doctors did confirm it." It had been quite obvious and he was feeling the anger come back just thinking about it. He was the same when it came to Ruby, this was one thing that just took over him completely with anger. "Yeah, I was there. She was clearly... distressed. In shock. Hurt." Charlie frowned.

Steve: "I would like to bring to the courts attentions exhibits A, B, C and D. Exhibit A is copies Emma Everett-Williamson hospital record from that night." He handed some copies to the judge and juries. "Exhibit B, C, and D are the photos that officers Darren Walker and Bianca Averina took." He glanced over at Charlie. "One last question Mr. Baker, do you think that if Duncan Hale was still alive, he would go after your daughter again?"

Charlie: Charlie looked back at Steve and nodded without hesitation. "I have no doubt in my mind that Duncan Hale would have gone after her again if he was still alive. I believe that he wouldn't ever have stopped."

Steve: "No further questions.

[disasterdeacy]

Roger convinces Brian man-scaping is a requirement to date younger women...

Ooohhhhhh I love this!

(Using this pic bc it’s cute asf and I love two (2) legends)

Okay, so as soon as Brian and Ania split, Rog is hardcore trying to get Brian back out into the dating scene, but before he can even give him any advice you show up like that one scene in Lilo and Stitch?

Anyway, Brian is head over heels for you, and wants to be with you more than he has ever wanted anything in his life, ever. 

But, you’re in your early 20s and he doesn’t want to scare you away or ruin the friendship he’d built up with you, so he just keeps his mouth shut.

Except for when he’s talking to Roger.

ohhhhh boy and does Roger love it

He is always there for Brian to vent to, to spill his insecurities and how he doesn’t think he’s worthy of  you, or attractive enough for you, or just... good for you.

But Roger just LOVES it, because Brian was there for him when he was going through the same thing with Sarina. 

Sure Sarina isn’t 50ish years younger than Roger, but she is still 20+ years younger than him, so he went through the same insecure moments.

This man is hardcore the biggest hardcore shipper of you and Bri, and would do absolutely anything to see the two of you together

After all, he hasn’t seen his best friend this happy in decades, and y’all aren’t even DATING yet, so he can only imagine what it’ll be like when Brian finally drops a set and makes a move.

speaking of dropping a set...

When Rog and Debbie divorced, he never thought he would remarry, or find anyone his own age, much less 20+ years younger than him...

But then he met Sarina and the rest is history, but that didn’t happen without his own little insecurities.

so he knows exactly what Brian is going through in terms of questioning his own attractiveness, and for some reason our sweet blind melon decides that Brian had to manscape in order for him to feel attractive...

Now, Brian had NEVER done anything like that, sure he kept himself neat and tidy, no rainforests below the belt, but he had never been.. bare before, and he was rather nervous to give it a go, because, well.. a razor down in that area is gonna cause some anxiety.

So when Brian calls Rog and tells him that he’s managed to convince you to have dinner with him at his place, Rog is in his car with his shaving kit before Brian can say that you’ll be over at 7.

Our poor baby Bri doesn’t even have the faintest idea about how to even start, so Rog slips his phone under the door with a step by step instructive youtube video pulled up, ready to educate dear Dr. May.

Trimming goes well, but once the actual shaving needs to start, Bri has to sheepishly ask his oldest friend to come help him.

After all, it was HIS idea, the least he could do was help him not end up with tiny cuts all over his balls. 

Roger just chuckles and concedes, after all, what kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t help Brian get L A I D. 

It’s definitely a sight that should never been seen again, and Roger is rather pleased with himself after he’s done... and he swears Bri to secrecy, although they both know that as soon as the drummer is out the door, Brian is calling John to laugh about the whole thing. 

Anyway, the whole ordeal does make Brian feel a bit more confident, after all, Roger had told him that manscaping was extremely popular with all of the young “kids”, and you would find it extremely attractive, so why wouldn’t he feel better?

He’s so frazzled about the fact that you’re coming over in a few hours, that he has to cook you an amazing 5 star worthy meal, that he forgets to moisturize his poor boys after his shower.

You are just as nervous as he is, changing about 7 times before you finally decide on an outfit that you deem appropriate enough to be labeled as “I definitely want to fuck you, but I also want you to know that I’m a ~classy~ lady”. 

You arrive at Brian’s precisely at 7, not wanting to seem too eager, although you did sit in the tube station closest to his flat for about 20 minutes freaking out and crawling out of your skin...

After all, what the hell did someone like Brian, successful, talented, intelligent, attractive, mature... see in you?

You’d met at Save Me where you decided to volunteer at after you moved to London, and you and Brian had hit it off immediately.

You’d been the one that he talked to about his divorce, how he felt, how he was going through a lot, trying to readjust...

You were there for him and you loved him more than a friend should, but you hadn’t been expecting him to pop into your unofficial office at Save Me HQ with a whole ass orchid and ask you to have dinner at his place, as a date. 

Your heart 100% almost exploded, and you were immensely proud of yourself for getting a yes out to him while you internally were doing a conga line.

Now, you were walking up to his door, hands shaking a little, feeling like you were going to puke from nerves

Brian wasn’t doing much better inside.

He’d made the pasta dish you’d mentioned loving, complete with your favorite sourdough from that little bakery in Fulham, and enough Rekorderlig berry cider to sink a ship. 

The table was set and it looked great, and despite the nerves in his stomach, he was feeling good about everything...

And then the itching started

Right as you rang the doorbell

fuck

He tried to ignore it, willing the slight uncomfortable feeling to stop, to go away and come back later.. but it didn’t 

oh no, the whole time y’all ate and laughed, sharing sweet glances full of unbridled desire and affection, his balls felt like they were going to fall off if he didn’t scratch them soon.

But he wasn’t about to do that in front of you, god no,

So he simply wiggles in his chair, laughing as you tell him the story of you breaking into your old high school with a friend when you were in college, his head falling back when you manage to squeak out the part of you having to call the fire department because your friend got stuck in the trophy case...

He hopes that you’re too blinded by the tears from your story to pay attention to his wincing and wiggling.

He was wrong

You raise your eyebrows as you take a sip of your drink, concern and confusion washing over your face as you see the uncomfortable look on Brian’s face.

“Bri, are you okay? I-I can go if you need me to..”

You really REALLY don’t want to leave, goddamnit you never wanna leave, but Brian didn’t look too good.

His face was pursed in an uncomfortable grimace, his hands gripping the arms of the chair he’s sat in, and he’s flushed all the way from the start of his white curls on his head, to the ones on his chest.

Once he hears your words, his eyes widen and he panics, waving his hands at you.

“No! God no, I don’t want you to leave, I j-just..”

God, this was embarassing.

He drops his head into his hands, flushing even harder before he hears your chair slide against the floor and feels your hand on his thigh as you kneel beside him.

He risks looking at you, hazel eyes soft and slightly wide when he sees the gentle smile on your face.

“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything Brian... If this hasn’t turned out the way you wanted it to, or if you’d rather just be f-”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence before he leans down and places a gentle kiss to your lips,

He hadn’t been planning on doing it, but he needed to do SOMETHING to prove to you that he wanted you and wasn’t acting weird because of you.

Brian knew 100% that you wouldn’t judge him or make fun of him for the true reason of his uncomfortable writhing.

You’re shocked by the kiss, but it doesn’t take long before you’re responding, threading your fingers in his white curls, smiling into the action before pulling away just a little.

“Okay, point taken...But why are you acting so strange honey?”

The term of endearment comes out before you can stop yourself, and Brian just blushes deeper, sighing a bit as he looks at you with sheepish eyes before explaining the whole situation to you.

He is FULLY expecting you to laugh or call him ridiculous, so he’s a bit shocked when you tell him to take you to his room, which he does without hesitation.

You tell him to take off his pants and underwear before you turn around and go into his ensuite bathroom, searching for every single moisturizing salve you can find, as well as wetting a cloth in cool water.

When you return from the bathroom, Brian is blushing like mad, completely naked from the waist down.

If you hadn’t been in nurse Y/N mode, you would’ve probably joined him in flushing like a goddamn tomato.

He looks at you curiously, brows furrowed when he sees the items in your hands, an unspoken question written clearly on his face, causing you to chuckle as you sit everything on the bedside table before climbing in beside him, pushing his shoulders back until he’s flat on the bed.

“Society pressures women into doing this from the time we’re able to grow hair, I’ve picked up a few tips for razor burn and itching honey.”

He chuckles breathlessly, eyes wide when you lay the cool wash cloth over his cock and balls, sucking in a shaky breath at the feeling.

“Y-you don’t have to do it for me i-if you don’t want to, I mean, that is totally your personal preference, but y-”

You don’t let him continue, smiling as you place a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling both your lips and the cloth away as you begin applying the first moisturizing cream.

“Neither do you Brian, you’re perfect for me just the way you are...”

You smile down at him, eyes as soft as your touch.

“I will say though, Roger did an incredible job... maybe he should change his day job?”

The two of you laugh, and when you’re finished with your impromptu rescue of his bollocks, your return everything to the bathroom before returning to Brian, curling up beside him and falling asleep.

The next week Bri invites  you to a BBQ at Rog and Sarina’s, and upon sitting down for dinner, you wink at Brian, taking a sip of your wine before looking over at Rog, mischievous twinkle in your eyes.

“So Rog, where did you get your shaving kit? Brian tells me its absolutely spectacular.”

[queensdivas]

Gaelhar (Brian May Fluff and Smut

https://ohmybribri.tumblr.com/post/187487202410/johndeakys-bonus-hes-so-fuckn-cute-that-i

Before y’all even start reading. The amount of science I’ve put into this thing is not accurate! I never thought I’d have to say this but it ain’t accurate and I’m only going off what the internet tells me. (AKA NASA’s website.) But I tried my hardest and I hope y’all enjoy! 

Present Day Bri! 

Warnings: Some swearing, SMUTTY SMUT IN THE END!  and ya know. It’s a short so get some fluff up in here!

World Count: there’s a lot because I couldn’t stop writing. 

Request are open, if you’d like to be tagged in all the rest of my shitty writing let me know! I hope you all enjoy!

@mexifangorl @i-live-for-queen @leah-halliwell92 @its-funny-til-its-not @brianmydear @teathymewithben @hodgepodge-of-rog @rogahloveshiscar @bonafiderocketqueen 

~~~~~~~~

4:15 am...day two of being up for more than twenty four hours! Because if it’s the one thing I love to do is to put myself through hell for work! My body felt like putty at the moment and my eyes felt more dry than the stupid desert! God why do I do this to myself? Why? Because when you volunteer to pitch the entire project to all the head honchos of NASA you’ve gotta suffer a little bit. 

The new project is that one of the moons of Saturn actually turns out to be another Mars if the readings are correct. We all know that Mars was once a vast home billions of years ago. And it looks like one of the moons is either going through that same progress or is almost done. We call this moon S/2004 S 13...or Gaelhar is what I like to call it.  

My station of four computers were the only sort of light from the room since having these on and the regular lights were just to blinding for me. One was the entire moons structure, the second one had all the engineers layout of Rovers mechanics, the third being the layout of the ship that’s going to be delivering the rover, and the last one for music. Never thought all of Puccini’s opera would be so damn entertaining! 

“Sybil! What are you still doing here?” Ray asked as I looked up from the computer to see him and some other man in the doorway. Taking off my glasses to rub my eyes a little bit to give them a brief moment of rest. 

“Rewriting Brahes book on the galaxy because I have absolutely nothing else better to do with my life!” Realizing that my coffee cup was dry as a bone and finally got up from my office chair. Luckily my smart ass thought it would be a good idea to have a coffee machine right behind me. Coffee cup number 8..and should probably order some sort of food. 

“Dr. Bruch. This is Dr. Brian May from England. And this lovely ray of sunshine is Dr. Sybil Bruch. Basically what keeps NASA up on their toes most of the time.” I looked like a demon in front of this random scientist...but who looked extremely handsome and a comfort from staring at a screen for hours upon end. Adding a shit ton of French vanilla cream to the coffee as Ray kept buzzing around this Doctor. 

“She is working on the pitch for the new rover to land on one of the moons of Saturn.” Drinking a gulp of the coffee as Brian’s eyes widened with curiosity. 

“So we’re just skipping over Jupiter then?” He asked as I sat back down at my desk to put my glasses back on. 

“Not exactly.” Moving around in your chair to the first computer so he could start reading about Gaelhar. He was in complete focus and something about him reading this was comforting. Wait why is he even here in the first place? 

“May I ask why you’re here?” Asking him as he looked over to me with a soft genuine smile. 

“Heard about your little project from a fellow colleague of mine and..well..” Did he come to take over? Did this fucking colleague think I couldn’t handle all of this!? I don’t need some random doctor coming into my workspace to take over! WHo the bloody hell does this bimbo think he is!?

“Well I thought I’d come and take a look...not trying to take over your project or even step in. He just kept telling me how it was going..I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your..

“NO no you’re fine. Just you came out of the blue and wasn’t ready for someone else to take a look yet..” The awkwardly laughing at each other as I put my mug down then grabbing my stylist so I could show him the rover. 

“Haven’t gotten a name yet for the rover but here it is.” The 3D image of the rover appeared on the screen. He nodded as he looked closer at the Rover and smiled at it. 

“Ethos.” 

“What?” 

“Name him Ethos. I’ve always liked the name Ethos and its very unique for this little bugger to be going off to Saturn.” Ethos..definelty has a ring to it. Well if it doesn’t officially get called Ethos. I will call it Ethos, just like how I call it Gaelhar. 

“Ethos it is.” Nodding as I typed the name onto the top of the file. Ethos the Rover. 

“What’s going to power Ethos? Solar or wind?” Enlarging the picture of the wind turbine that was attached to the back of Ethos. It was a little smaller than him but would be able to power him for a few years. 

“The weird thing about Gaelhar is that it’s more windy than you’d imagine. Past satellite readings say it’s about 332 mph on average. And with that amount of power it can produce for Ethos...he could go on for a decade possibly.” He smiled at me as I looked into one of my filing cabinets for the file on Gaelhar. 

Would..would he want to read about Gaelhar? He seems genuinely interested in the whole project itself. Or it could be just the lack of sleep would be doing it. Both. Let’s go with both! 

“Were you wanting to read more on Gaelhar? On what we know at least?” Handing him the file on Gaelhar then setting up the rough draft of the powerpoint presentation of what I got so far. 

“So you say it was once like Earth?” He began the PowerPoint as I rested my hand on the desk then putting my cheek against it. Giving him a nod to his question as I slowly began closing my eyes. Maybe just five minutes of sleep and I would feel one million times better. 

*Brians May P.O.V.*

She was out like a light when I got done reading the rough draft of her presentation. With goosebumps running up and down her arms when I realized it was almost 5 am. For me I would be up and ready to go for the day. Taking off the coat I still had on then placing it on top of her shoulders so she could stay warm. Should I take off her glasses? My hands reaching slowly for her glasses to gradually take them off her face then laid them down next to her. 

It feels strange to be sitting next to someone whose work has done so much for the space community in the past few years. Reading her research papers, some of her books, and even online lectures when she would teach. Not to mention it’s shocking that she’s not going absolutely berserk since I’m.. well ya know. 

Going into the powerpoint to start editing her first slide to make sure the introduction would be very gripping. Not the first time I’ve had to stand in front of a crowd to do a presentation. Is it weird to admire someone and their work even though you’ve never gotten the chance to meet them. Till now. 

She blinked a few times as she was looking around to still see me working on her PowerPoint. Rubbing her tired eyes then reaching for her cup of coffee that was still a little hot. 

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to..” Trailing off as she noticed my coat was on her shoulders and formed a little smile in the corner of her lips. Going back to typing as she leaned over to see what I was working on. 

“They’re gonna ask you why they should invest in this instead of Mars.” She sighed as she got up from the chair to her phone. 

“Might as well pack it up because this won’t get any sort of funding.” She told me as I spun around in the chair with my arms crossed. Goodness! What kind of confidence is that!?

“Sybil! What sort of attitude is that to have for this project?” Her eyes widened a little as she took a sip of her coffee. 

“Well everything is about Mars now. Gaelhar would be more suitable for humans to go there than Mars and you have the evidence right here.” If it’s one thing I can’t stand in this world is when a bunch of power hungry councils decide to make stupid decisions. Like the damn council who decided Pluto not being a planet anymore was absolutely ridiculous! 

“Thank you for the confidence boost..just going up in front of them to pitch this idea is a lot harder than it sounds. Yes I did presentations in school all the time..but never had to basically tell them they need to fund this because this could be habitable for humans since we’re screwing up this world so badly..I’m sorry I don’t mean to vent..I think I if I just get back to work then I’ll feel a little better.” One last sip of coffee she took as she put her glasses back on to start reading through her notebooks. 

“Would you like some breakfast or something? I can make ray get you some delicious sort of fish breakfast or anything.” She looked up from her notebook to start flipping through her phone to find a breakfast place to deliver. 

“Anything really. Is the tires on Ethos going to last a few years on Gaelhar?” Asking her as she pulled up the material for Ethos. 

“It’s got natural rubber with steel chords wrapped around it. Not to mention we’re going to equip the little guy with spikes so if he needs to stop to collect data, the wind won’t move him away.” The image enlarged on the screen as she was pointing at its tires. 

She’s a beautiful..gorgeous genius! 

“Would..would you be willing to stay for a few days to give me a hand or so?” Asking me as I quickly nodded in agreement. 

*One Week Later. Sybil’s P.O.V.*

Okay. Okay. I can’t tell if I look okay! Checking myself out in the mirror for the hundredth time. It was a bright yellow dress that was flowing all around me till it reached the upper half of my body to fit like a glove. The neckline was tight and it allowed to show more of my back. What’s going to sell Ethos and Gaelhar? Sex. 

Slipping on my white heels as I heard the front doorbell ringing. Guess that’s Brian. He has been such an absolute doll and gentlemen with this project these last few days. Constantly staying beside me and helping to make sure this project is sellable to the board. Not to mention we spent last night going over the details and basically running through the presentation as many times as I could. 

Grabbing my clutch as I walked down the stairs of my house then fixing any last details before I expose my tired ugly self to him. Opening the door to him to see him in a dark purple and black velvet suit with a very exotic galaxy tie on. He looked..absolutely smashing! 

“Well Brian. I must say you clean up very well.” Smiling as his eyes widened at the brightness of my dress. 

“Probably should’ve worn something space related. C’mon in.” Moving out of the way for him to walk in and have a long look around my apartment. 

“I actually got you something if you don’t mind.” Closing the door behind him as he reached into his suit pocket to pull out a box. Opening it to reveal some sort of pendant. Holy shit is that real gold? 

“Brian please tell me you didn’t spend that much money on me?” It was a large circle gold pendant that had nine holes drilled out of them. He got the whole damn solar system including Pluto. (It’s a planet. Deal with it.)

“Think of it as a momento for this hectic week of constant working. Not that it hasn’t been absolutely fun because it’s been a while since I’ve worked hard like this.” It kept staring at me like some sort of apple. Do I take it? It’s gorgeous and I don’t want to seem like an absolute bitch for just taking it. But why did he spend that much money on me, and not to mention that how on earth did he get that much money!?

“Bri I..I can’t..” He was already taking it out of the box and motioned me to turn around so he could clip it on. When he clipped it together, turning back towards him as we were standing close to each other. Is it weird to be attracted to someone who you've only known for a week? I thought attraction moved slower than that..It felt so..so wonderful. My heart was bursting out of my chest, goosebumps traveling up and down my back, to finally the tip of my toes curling in my heels. 

“Thank you Brian. I really..I have no words.” My blushing face was an absolute mess as we didn’t move from our spot. Knowing that we had to go so we wouldn’t be late. 

But his kindness..his confidence..it’s so wonderfully refreshing. His lips were so lush with life..even his eyes were glowing with life. Is it bad that I want to kiss him? 

He must’ve felt the same as he reached his hands up to my cheeks to cup my face. His temple resting against mine as my hands wrapped around his wrist to feel the spark light. Till I felt something cold against my cheek to see a gold band around his left hand. Oh my god he’s married! He’s married and he’s holding my face like this!

“Oh my god I’m sorry.. I.. I had no idea you were even married. God I must look like some kind of whore to you.” Taking a step back as he turned his hand into his direction. I don’t cheat with married men.. well I don’t cheat in general mostly because I don’t have the time for it. 

“Yes we have to go.” Taking a step away from him to grab my clutch and house keys. We were carpooling but now that he’s married..I’d rather drive myself at this point. Locking the door behind us as the SUV was sitting on the curb, with the driver smoking a cigar. Might as well just get this over with...

The car ride was absolutely silent with the only radio playing to cover up the awkward silence. Glad to know I was about to kiss a married man..and that he gave me a massive galaxy pendent that’s weighing me down like a rock around my necklace! Please let us just get there faster so I can just go home and eat ice cream. My stupid ass thought he and I were about to hit off together..he’s older than me so why would I even think I would have a chance. 

We pulled up to the curb as I opened the door of my side to see Ray running up to me with his tablet. All excited and wearing his lucky peacock bow tie wrapped around his neck. 

“Sybil! Sybil! Thank every thing on the planet that you arrived. The board wanted to hear your presentation right now. Get your butt out of the car so we can start this and eat those delicious tiramisu they made!” Practically dragging me out of the car as Brian was already left behind. 

Standing on the side of the stage as I was preparing myself mentally for this presentation. Brian appeared behind me but I wasn’t turning around since the man is married! How could I even..my eyes peeked from the corner of my eye to see that..gorgeous man smiling right behind me. My fingers grabbing the pendent to turn around and give him a smile. 

“Thank you Brian. Wish me luck!” Just try to get rid of the sexual tension with just being absolutely nice. Should just go away within the speech. 

“Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you Dr. Sybil Bruch.” Oh my god everything is happening so damn fast! The heart is racing again and I think my eyes are going to roll in the back of skull! Brian put his hands on my shoulders then placed a soft kiss on the back of my head. 

“You can do this. You can be anything you want to be, just turn yourself into anything you think you could ever be.” Why the hell did that sound so damn familiar? Whatever it’s from it somehow helped. Walking out to the podium as I was giving the board a few soft smiles. Moving the mic a little as I looked upon the crowd. 

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I’m so excited that you’re here this evening to hear about this brand new project our department has been working on for many months now. Today I will be discussing one of the moons of Jupiter known as S/2004 S 13. What we call it now known as Gaelhar.” Stopping for a second as Ray pulled up the PowerPoint. My eyes drifted over to Brian as I gave him a warm smile with him sticking up his thumb. 

“Thanks to the glorious efforts of engineers, fellow astrophysicists, and even a very well known scientist by the name of Dr. Brian May. We have discovered that one of the moons of Jupiter was once just like Earth before us.” Stopping again to see Brian in complete awe to the side of the stage. My hand reaching up to the pendant to hold it for a second. 

The presentation went fantastically to the point I even got the board to clap even more than usual. Brian, Ray, and I were in a small circle talking amongst each other trying to keep myself from going in some sort in an anatomical state. Is that even the right word at this point? For once..I could give two shits if Brian were to kiss me now. He’s the only one who has been there for me during this past week and if it were to happen I wouldn’t fight it anymore. 

Ray noticed one of his friends for it to be just Brian and I downing on tiramisu which was provided for free by the board. We kept glancing back and forth..waiting for one of us to say at least something to each other. 

“I wanna apologize to you Sybil. It wasn’t right to me to try to make a move on you and being married. Wasn’t the right thing to do and..” My fingers moving up to his lips to stop him from speaking. Giving him a smile of approval as my fingers glided over to his cheek. 

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for this project this past week..I..I.

“Dr. Bruch. Have you got a moment?” Dr. Alexis Faulk came up to us as I slipped my hand down then handing him my plate of tiramisu. He’s the head of the board and if he’s coming to me this early we should be able to finally start! 

“Dr. Bruch. As much as we love this project you and your department has worked very hard. It’s just not something that’s worth our time or interest. We’ll definitely keep this on record so when the time does come for us to head out to Jupiter we now have a plan. Thank you for the lovely presentation and now you don’t have to worry about that. See ya at the office Monday morning.” He nodded to go back to the fellow board members. 

His words stung all over my body as if wasp were all stinging me at once just for the pleasure of it. My throat tightened to the point I couldn’t even breath. I refuse to cry because he’s kind of right in sense..why go out to Jupiter when Mars is right around the corner! Exactly! Now I want wine...and ice cream. God I sound so damn depressing. 

Brian placed the plates down as he came over to me. But I didn’t want to be coddled at the moment or even touched..just..I just wasted months of my life on this big project that won’t even be used in my life time! And not even in my child’s lifetime! Moving past him as I was leaving the gala to go home and get absolutely drunk! Walking out to the parking lot where the vast amount of SUVs were all over the place as I tried to find ours. 

“You okay Sybil?” Brian caught up as I found our car with the driver in smoking a cigar. 

“To my home please.” Ignoring his question to have the driver climbed into the car. Before I could even climb in Brian stood in front of the door. 

“They said no didn’t they..” Nodding to him as my eyes began to water as my throat was beginning to swell again. He reached out to me as he engulfed me in his warm embrace. It felt so damn comforting to feel his warmth but the tears were continuing to roll down my stained cheek. 

“Sybil..Sybil look at me.” Looking up as he held himself up in such confidence. 

“What you’ve done is remarkable. It is something no one else could’ve ever done in their life. Not even I could do such a thing and you’ve done the impossible. Yes it’s horrible that they said no. But you went up there against the world and you did it! Be..be..” Our lips crashing against each other as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Pulling me in closer to him for his hands to squeeze my waist. Stopping to catch my breath as I was shaking a little bit. 

“Let’s get you home.” 

Arriving back to the house as we climbed out of the car then giving the driver a great tip. Unlocking the door to the house as we walked in to throw my clutch on the ground in anger. 

“I’m sorry Brian..I shouldn’t be acting like such a child in front of you but I’m..” He was taking off his jacket as I leaned against the couch. The tension was basically to thick you couldn’t even cut it with a knife. 

“Brian..make me feel something..Please just make me yours for a night...make me feel like I’m so much better than what that ass hole board.” Attacking me like a lion. His lips were warm, soft, and tasted like beautiful rose wine. Our tongues entering each other’s mouth to swirl around each other. Moans coming from both of our mouths and our hands tracing up and down our bodies. 

My hands ripping the front of his shirt opened for my nails to dig into his chest. His beautiful lips moved from mine then onto the bottom of my ear. Nails digging into his chest as ecstasy poured over my vision. 

“You’re so damn beautiful..” I could feel his hands moving up to the back off my dress to the back of my neck, ripping the neck strap so my dress would basically pop down. 

“Mhmm...God..” His hands beginning to squeeze my breast as my legs began to wrap around him. My body was absolutely melting in his touch as his long fingers squeezing my breast, pinching my nipples. 

“I wanna..” Couldn’t even finish what I wanted to say. He was already on his knees pulling down the rest of my dress so I would be standing there in only my underwear. 

“You want me to taste you?” Asking with his eyes widened before me. Nodding as he moved my panties to the side, then lifting my leg over his shoulder. 

One little lick already made me gasp. How can such a man have that much power over me. Another little lick over my clit till he wrapped his mouth over my entrance. At first his tongue was flicking my clit with no means of stopping. Faster..faster..my hips began moving slowly as his grip around my thigh tightened. His eyes were primal as his tongue moved down to my entrance. Not entering but was acting like some damn lizard. In..out….waiting for a second. In...out.. 

“Brian..please don’t tease me..” I was begging as if my life was depending on It. His eyes glued shut as he was absolutely devouring me like a man thirsting after water in a desert. My moans were filling the house so loudly that my neighbors might be wondering what’s going on. 

“So delectable..” Whispering as I could feel it building up so quickly. 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck..Brian..Brian so close..” The first time Ive came..fuck fuck fuck. He removed his mouth to slowly insert his middle finger inside of me to pump as fast as he could. He put his tongue back onto my clit so I would be sent over the edge as quickly as I could. 

“Just let go..let go..” He said between flicks as I inhaled a large breath. Yanking his hair by accident as it released as over his fingers and the tip of his tongue. My body shaking to the point I almost fell onto the couch itself. He popped up to keep me a little steady as I stood back up from the couch. 

“We’re going upstairs.” Dragging him by his ripped shirt up the stairs but stopping every few steps to keep kissing each other and for me to grab his humongous bulge on his pants. He kept moaning till we reached the top of the stairs..but I couldn’t even wait anymore for him. 

Kneeling down as I unbuckled his pants to yank them down and take him straight into my mouth. I’ve never craved anyone like this in my life. His cock was glorious to have and was something I’ve enjoyed in my mouth. My tongue swirling around his tip as I sunk the rest into my mouth as fast as I could. 

“God..take it easy..” He chuckled as he had to lean against the wall. His right hand grabbing a handful of hair to start giving it a gentle pull. Nothing like how I yanked his for when I came to quickly. I want to please him...God pleasing him would give me even more pleasure in my life. Gripping his balls with my free hand which caused him to let a moan out and chuckle. 

Taking his entire length in my mouth for him to gasp as I moved my hands from his balls to the top of his chest so my nails could scratch down his chest. But stopping me to hold my hand as I continued to deep throat him. 

“Fuck fuck fuck..stop.. you..have to..stop..” My head moving as deep as it could each time so he would cause his eyes to roll in the back of his skull. His precum was beginning to pour as I stopped sucking for my tongue trail from the base to the tip, licking up his precum. Hoisting me up onto my feet as our lips began dancing around with each other again. 

Walking backwards into the bedroom as I fell back onto the bed as he stood at the edge of the bed. My hands reaching out for him as he climbed back on top of me then aimed his member towards the entrance. Waiting no time as he slowly inserted himself inside of me. 

“FUCK!” Squealing as he was stretching my walls. My legs wrapping around him to push him in further. God it hurts but it feels so fucking good my god. He placed his head on my shoulder as he began thrusting himself at a slow pace so he could stretch every inch of me. 

“God yes..Brian..” Laughing for a second as his lips began kissing my neck again with his cock beginning to pick up the pace. He’s moving to slow! I wanna ride him! My hands grabbing his shoulder to push him over onto his back. 

“Let me ride you..I wanna ride you till you fill me..” Pointing his member up as I slid down onto him. His eyes rolling into the back of his head as I began bouncing hard on his cock. Not fast. But slamming myself onto his cock for him to get completely lost. 

“Does it feel good?” Smiling as he smacked my ass hard to make me laugh. Smacking again to treat him a little as I tightened myself somehow. His eyes rolling into the back of his head as I began bouncing faster. I want him inside of me..

“C’mon Brian..Take me..” He grabbed my arms to pull me down to him so he could kiss me. Desperate kisses as he began thrusting hard into me. It felt so damn good to be penetrated so damn hard and so damn fast. 

“Yeah you slut you like that?” Nodding as I wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt myself boiling up again. He was getting so close to I could feel it! Yes yes yes. 

“Yes I love it..yes Brian please!” Our lips against each other once again as I tried to taste every inch of his lips. So soft..so damn beautiful! 

“Go go go go go..oh my god Brian yes!” He was smiling as he was smacking my ass and digging his nails into it with his final amount of thrust.

“Yes Sybil! Cum with me...cum with me please..take me as I take you!” He shoved himself as far as he could inside of me as I felt his cum pouring inside of me! HOLY FUCK!

“Brian!” I screamed as he held me close to him as he emptied himself inside. It felt so damn glorious to be filled with such a mans cum! A genius to take me to bed...to fill me..thank god. 

Climbing off him as we laid next to each other, my head resting on his bicep as we tried to catch our breaths. My body is still adjusting to the feeling of cum inside of me..the orgasm still riding my body. Looking up to him as he looked down upon me. Looking at his left hand to slip the ring off he wore to place it on the nightstand. Moving myself back up to him to place my hand on his cheek.

“You sure..?” My thumb rubbing a small circle as he grabbed it then kissed my palm. 

“Yes.” Attacking his lips with mine again as he hoisted me back on top of him. A night of ecstasy is all I need..and with him..I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[moviestorian]

Queen on Fire - Live at the Bowl 1982 concert (Hot Space Tour) LIVEBLOGGGGGGGG

As promised! :) Initially I was supposed to go directly from Montreal to Wembley, but dear @his-majesty-king-mercury convinced me to do Live at the Bowl before, and I’m glad she did!

Background: The concert is dated at June 5, 1982. As I wrote in the title, it was part of the Hot Space tour and was initially supposed to be played at Arsenal Stadium in Highbury. A day before the gig Freddie had a nasty fight with his then-boyfriend who had bitten him between a thumb and forefinger.

Let’s begin! - ugh Hot Space - but hey, it's gonna be fun! It's Queen, and Queen always puts the bestest live shows! - oh wowzie, this is mah first liveblog since April, long time not seen right? - my pizza's ready, my coffee's ready, my dip is ready - I think I can start watching now - Ooo wow, this concert lasts an hour and 43 minutes? I would die if I had to play on stage for that long - I can already feel the enthusiasm!!! The ENERGYYYY - FLASH AAAAAAHHH AHHHH - they're leaving the plane and look so hella cuuute - oh hi Crystal! oh hi Phoebe! Great to see you all! - gotta say... Freddie's outfit is fabulous. - Brian: plays the guitar and jumps the Crowd: HELL YEAH - I'm only 3 minutes in and my current mood is: fuck the critics whoever trashed Queen and disrespected their music skills - WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU - I love the fast version, slaps 100 times harder than the studio version - Deaky looks awesome in blue, I mean I already noticed that when I watched Rock Montreal, but let me reiterate - It's only been 5 minutes but let me tell you...not enough zooms for Roger - Freddie's in a good shape and form... not that I'm surprised - ROGER - cute red little scarf on mah boi's neck - THE FIRST FREDDIE AND ROG INTERACTIONS, I LIVE, I'M HAPPY - "hello everybody" "hey hey hey" good time to miss Freddie - Action This Time... Anyone surprised that it sounds better live than on the album? - ROGER'S VOCALS HOTDAMN - Brian's hair is floofy as usual... why am I acting like it's an unusual thing - I really really miss hearing Freddie and Roger together... POWER DUO - the synths get introduced... I neither love nor hate it tbh - okay not Queen related but the pizza is not bad, for a frozen one - Freddie, you feeling too hot for that jacket? And you Deaky, too? Get undressed, babes, I certainly don't mind - Play the Game! I love this song... Also Freddie playing on a piano is a blessing to us all - He really puts his soul into this one... Bless this man - Brian's backing vocals always sound so soft... My tenor angel - THANK FRICKING GOD THE SYNTHS IN THE BACKGROUND ARE BARELY AUDIBLE - LOL FREDDIE - he put a towel on his head I'm XDDDD what a legend - this and the famous plastic bag is a thrilling saga - AAAAA YOOOO - LMAO at Freddie throwing his...water?beer? at the audience - *Hot Space apologist speech* :P - we're at the funky part, I guess... - Brian and John's synchronized movements :)))) - ah okay it's Staying Power... I forgot what the song sounds like - Roger in black... I'm swooning - Roger has a nice closeup view on Freddie's butt, I mean back :D - This is not bad, but I'm gonna bet that I'll forget what this song sounds like again in less than two hours - John's haircut is cute and adorbs :D - OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Somebody to Love!!!!!!!!!!!!! - The intro...sounds so sublime, soft, and raw at the same time - I love that it sounds slightly different, depending on the concert - This is really emotional... We shall see how it goes, but so far it surpasses even the god tier Montreal version! - Forgive me for not saying too much now... I'm fully sunk in the sheer beauty of this sincere performance - Love Roger's drumming and the crowd clapping to the beat! - "I like it" ME TOO FREDDIE - I wish we could hear Roger a tiny bit better! I love the crescendo part - That was beautiful :') - Now I'm Here!!!! asjgashasashjgas - I love it when they perform it at higher speed - The jumping crowd fairly represents what my brain cells currently look like - I hella love Roger's drumming in this song - well not just this song but y'know - Freddie...what was that??? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THAT FINGER??? - hehe you can tell that Brian's very into it :D - Brian trying to get Roger's attention... Rog is, however, fully dedicated to his drums :D - Freddie lying down after the song is a post-exercise or post-dinner mood - "Let's play a game" YES SIR - yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah - "Go pretty boy, go" I'm SOFT - hear that bassline? YES ME TOO - (it's Dragon Attack if anyone's wondering) - Freddie Mercury: lead singer AND fitness instructor - wish I could make some screencaps, alas I'm watching this online so it would take too much effort so here we are - Fred, let BRIAN PLAYYYY nooo don't distract him! - out of context those cuts and shots look like John is jealous of Freddie and Roger XDDD this is gif and meme worthy (around 39 minute) - btw probably no one is interested because you came here for the Queen concert liveblog, but I got my period and I'm starting to feel it - IT SUCKS - ooooo Brian speaking! His voice is so soothing, I could listen to him all day and it would probably calm my nerves - acoustic guitar...I'm already in - WHY SO QUIET THOUGH - Love of My Life, I'm cry - Everyone's singing along from the very first line... this is beautiful - Everyone united by this song's pure beauty :))))) I'm not crying you are - Do you sometimes think about Brian playing the acords for this gorgeous track and there is no Freddie sitting beside him? - Yeah, I hate myself for that thought too - I might be a little bit emotional - No wonder it was this particular song was the one that finally convinced Bri's father to FINALLY accept his son's career - Brian's gentle smile I'm :') :') :') - *clap clap clap clap* SAME - We're at Save Me now... Are we doing a crying compilation or what? - This is almost as bad as the Queen Forever album I recently bought.. TOO EMOTIONAL - Don't get me wrong, I ADORE Save Me - But this is too much - Almost 50 minutes in and Freddie's voice is still STRONG AS A BELL - Remember what I said about the "fuck the critics" mood? Yeah the mood is back - Even the cute Roger/Freddie interaction almost makes me cry I'm agsahjhsAAAAAAAAA - I need a more lighthearted now BLEASE - I'm a tough cookie but when I have Queen feels very little can help! - Is this Back Chat? OH GOD - Please bring me back to the crying mode, I DIDN'T MEAN THIS - (I'm sorry Fidan and all the Back Chat fans over there, I'm not a huge fan of this song :-*) - We get a nice view on Roger's back, though *Lenny face* - The synths sound like a main theme for some mystery-drama tv show from the 1980s XDDD - I forgot how long this song is... - Get Down Make Love *insert Lenny face again* - Okay I gotta admit... lyrically this song is a mess and borderline cringey in the first verse, but I really like it musically - I GIVE YOU HEAT - I GIVE YOU MEAT *three Lenny faces* - Okay, let's just listen to the song and pretend we all forgot the English language, maybe? - That mid parts always makes me feel like I'm about to be abducted by aliens - Thank God I don't do drugs, I would start thinking I might be hallucinating - I assume that Brian's guitar solo starts now? - Nice intro! - And Roger gets time to breathe, the boy needs his oxygen - Actually, this may be one my favourite of Brian's guitar solos? - Brighton Rock :))))))))))))))) - Brian's hands are very pretty - oh noooooo - an error? - poor Bri - that disappointed guy who screamed "No" when the guitar stopped playing :D - thankfully he issue quickly got solved! - hi Roger, nice to see you back <3 - It's Roger's time to shine! - YEs, Under Pressure! - The Montreal version is gonna be hard to beat, though - Let's see - uu I like Fred's red jacket! - ...do you have any shirt underneath, though? Naughty boi - he does not LOL - "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH" - let me tell you again...Roger's mic is definitely not turned loud enough - This is great but still, I prefer the Montreal one - That beer always amuses me XD - Freddie, you want us to slap your ass? - Oh no, he's just announcing Fat Bottomed Girls XDDDD - "I was just a skinny lad" the editing team: cuts to the camera angle which shows Brian first and Freddie after him - Roger's "oooh" is funny because he's really into it :D :D :D - Freddie is now a pole dancer, he changed profession - The crowd, always cheering when Freddie gets undressed :P - I sense Crazy Little Thing Called Love incoming! - yes it is Crazy Little Thing! - Freddie's joke about the three guitar cords XDDD - This song always slaps - "she drives me crazYY" - ReAdY fReDdIe - FREDDIE PLS STOP FCKING YOUR GUITAR - this is pretty - BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY YEAH - he sounds so soft :)))) - and now so raw - "Momma UwU" - can't unsee this fricking meme now ajsdhjgdhjds - My favourite guitar solo :')))) - they actually played the video??? - I miss spaniel haired Deaky tbh - *instense drumming* *fireworks* - Oh Brian is wearing this cool shirt he also wore in Montreal! - jumpy Deaky...too bad you can onnly see him from the distance - GONG - that was sexy - Roger hitting that gong in the black outfit is sexier than shirtless Rog hitting the gong, change my mind - TIEE YOUR MOTHER DOWN TIEE YOUR MOTHER DOWN - There's only some 15 minutes left... The time always passes so quickly when I'm watching a Queen concert - Another One Bites the Dust! I've been waiting for thiiiis - Deaky: happy jump - He knows it's his time to shine - wait a second, when did Roger change his shirt? - I need a good closeup - Freddie be like *imma slap my thigh now* - ooo I see Roger's Japanese shirt now! It's pretty cool! - Brian looks great too - Those flashing light are kinda migraine-inducing, thankfully I don't have an aura today - SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER heartattack - Looks like Freddie is flirting with Red Special :P - they're going absolutely crazy XD - WE WILL ROCK YOU DRUMLINE INTENSIFIES - LOL the sombrero on Freddie's head :P - ups mr editor dropped a frame - And now we're truly heading towards the end... I'm gonna start associating We Are the Champions with farewells soon - Well done, boys - I know I say it every single time - But you can't stress this enough - :)))) I'm glad I did this liveblog - They look exhausted but very satisfied :))) - Bye bye!

Next time I’ll be doing Wembley 1986, hopefully soon!

Tagging all the people who expressed their wish to read my ramblings. :) Enjoy!

@his-majesty-king-mercury, @x5vale, @radio-ha-ha, @mephisto92, @39-brian, @melisa-may-taylor72, @silapril, @kitty-rushes-in, @lydiannode, @an-abyss-called-life, @litsy-kalyptica, @importantmuggoophero, I hope I didn’t forget anyone! ^^ Comments are nicely welcome! :3

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Favourite Sweater

Pairing: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: The reader gives away her own secret relationship to her brother just through a sweater

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Hey guys! This is my entry for @bensroger ‘s 3K writing challenge - congratulations my love you deserve all the followers and so many more you wonderful, talented human!!! I had prompt 22 - “I’m sorry I stole your favourite sweater… But it smelled like you and I missed you while you were gone.”

“You know, Roger has a jumper just like that one,” it was a passing comment, one that would have seemed nonchalant in any other situation. But to Y/N, it made her heart hammer in her chest as her eyes dropped down to the soft material covering her skin. “It’s his favourite one, but I think he lost it before the tour or something,” John continued. Y/N swallowed hard and let out a fake, forced bark of laughter.

“Guess we both have good taste,” she said and John chuckled, nodding.

“Must be,” he agreed.

“Where is Roger anyway?” She asked, trying hard to sound casual about the inquiry. 

“He went to get food I think,”

“With Bri?”

“Yeah,” John confirmed her brother’s whereabouts.

“What have you been working on, anyway?” She asked.

Y/N and John had been incredibly close ever since he joined the band and formed Queen. The two of them had become fast friends and Y/N often joked that the reason she came to visit them so often was not because of her brother, Brian, being the guitarist, but was instead because of how much she loved John.

John tended to confide in Y/N about the songs he was writing, proposing them to her before going forth and showing them to the rest of the band, seeking her approval before he did anything more. Y/N had pointed out on various occasions that John was a fantastic song writer and so didn’t need her opinion on the song, he had to just believe that it would be a good one, as they always were.

And Y/N told John everything, he was basically just another brother to her by this point. She complained to him about guy troubles, confided in him when her past boyfriend asked her out and, later, cried on his shoulder when said boyfriend dumped her.

So yeah, they were close with very few secrets between the two.

And the secrets that Y/N had kept hidden from John, Brian almost certainly knew.

There was only one secret that she hadn’t told either of them. And that secret was Roger.

She loved Roger with everything in her. And he loved her too, much to her joy and mild surprise. The two of them had been seeing one another for six months by this stage and Y/N often found herself to be at Roger’s home much more than her own. 

But the two of them were terrified of the reactions of the rest of the band. Brian would be furious. Y/N and Brian were much closer than many siblings and she did tell him everything and he did the same - he had made it very clear that he disliked the idea of Y/N and Roger getting too close. Brian was terrified of Roger breaking Y/N’s heart so them being a couple would not go down well with him.

So the two of them kept it to private meetings, secret rendezvous in little out of the way cafe’s and restaurants in areas that no one know who they were. Only that, now, everyone knew who Roger was, which made keeping their pretence up even harder.

“We bring food!” Brian calls into the studio and John stands up with a cheer.

“For us too?” He asked hopefully and Brian entered to where they were sitting, Roger behind him.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re not that mean,” Brian assured him, placing the bags of take away on the coffee table. “Where’s Fred?” 

“Left a little bit after you did with Prenter,” as John and Brian engaged themselves in deep conversation, Y/N looked up to see Roger’s eyes already on her, adoration swimming in them as he stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m going to find some plates for the food,”

“I’ll help,” Roger agreed, following her out the room. As they walked down the hallway towards the kitchen area, their hands linked together and Roger squeezed hers, a smile emerging on his face.

As soon as the door to the kitchen closed behind them, Roger spun Y/N around so that she was facing him and his hands were placed on her waist. 

“Hey,”

“Hi,” Y/N smiled, pushing herself up onto her toes to kiss him.

“I’ve missed you,” Roger said, the words muffled against her lips.

“You saw me this morning Rog,”

“Yeah but you were leaving my apartment so it doesn’t count,” he whined, hands playing with the hem of her sweater. “I like your jumper,” he said and Y/N giggled, heat rushing to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I stole your favourite sweater… But it smelled like you and I missed you while you were gone.” She said, moving her face so it was buried in his chest. Roger chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest, and his hands went to her hair, gently teasing out the knots.

“You’re impossible to be mad at, Princess,” he sighed and Y/N giggled.

“It’s a talent,” she declared.

“God I love you,” Roger sighed, moving one of his hands from her hips to gently cup her face instead, tilting it up so that he could kiss her.

“I love you too, Rog,”

“I want to take you out tonight,” he said, watching as she untangled herself from his embrace to turn and collect some plates for the takeaway.

“Where to?” She asked and Roger shrugged.

“Anywhere, really. I just want to see you tonight to be honest,” Y/N laughed at how adorable he was acting and sent him a smile over her shoulder.

“You’re not allowed to be that cute,” she informed him and Roger smiled, closing the gap between them and snaking his arms around her waist again, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Trust me, Princess, you’re definitely the cute one in this relationship,”

The two of them walked back down the hallway, hands still linked up until they became visible to the two men in the room, when they dropped their hands and moved an acceptable distance away from one another.

“Hey, isn’t that your jumper, Rog?” Brian asked as they finished eating and Y/N began to clear the dishes away. His eyes were fixed on the comfortable sweater and Y/N froze.

“Yeah it looks a lot like his, doesn’t it? I said the same thing,” John laughed but Brian shook his head, a deep frown in place.

“No... that is your jumper, Roger. Isn’t it?” He was daring Roger to disagree. Roger hesitated, looking at Y/N for back up. John gasped.

“Are you two together?” He asked, looking between Roger and Y/N.

“We can explain,” Y/N cut in. She felt as though her cheeks were on fire. She locked eyes with Roger, a pleading expression on her face and it seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was previously stuck in and he let out an awkward cough.

“Yeah, um. I walked her home a little while ago after the pub, remember?” That was party true. He had indeed walked her home - but it had been to his home instead, where she had then spent the night wrapped up in his embrace. “It was cold so I let her borrow my jumper,” Roger shrugged, his face was redder than Y/N had ever seen it before. “No big deal,” he briefly locked eyes with Y/N - long enough for him to shoot a panicked look in her direction.

“Roger, you’re a shit liar,” Brian said, glaring at his friend. He turned it onto his sister. “And you, you promised, Y/N. How long have you guys been sneaking around behind my back?” He asked before whirling around to John. “Did she tell you?”

“No, no I had no idea,”

“We didn’t tell anyone, Brian. We wanted you to know first we just... didn’t know how you’d react,” Y/N’s hand was itching to latch onto Roger’s but she restrained herself.

“How long?” Brian demanded again.

“Six months,” Y/N whimpered out, blinking back tears. Brian had never been properly angry with her before to the point at which he was shouting.

“Six fucking months?” Brian repeated, his hands clenching into fists. Roger stepped forwards so Brian’s gaze moved on to him.

“We wanted to make sure that it would... work between us before we let the world know,” Roger added. Y/N could feel his concerned gaze on her and she bit her lip, keeping her eyes trained on her brother. Brian clenched his jaw, staring between the two of them.

“Will it?” John piped up from behind Brian. “Will it work out?” Brian looked back at his sister with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah,” she whispered, looking at Roger, a smile tugging at the sides of her lips. “I think it will,”

“It definitely will,” Roger agreed, his eyes softening with love as he looked back at her, moving his hand so that their pinkie’s were laced together.

“I’m not happy about this,” Brian told them. “At all.”

“I love him, Brian,” she said hopelessly. Brian watched her for a moment before turning to look at Roger.

“And you?”

“I love her more than I could ever express,”

“Fuck this. I’m going home,” Brian sighed, collecting his things and leaving the studio. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” John huffed, glaring at his best friends.

“Sorry, Deaks,” Y/N said with a shy smile. John rolled his eyes.

“I guess I’m happy for you,” he conceded, trailing off and allowing his thoughts to hang in the air between the three of them. “I’m going to make sure Brian’s alright,”

“Does this mean we’re in the clear?” Y/N asked, turning to her boyfriend as John also left, the door closing quietly behind him. Roger allowed a hopeful grin to cross his face.

“I guess so,” he agreed, kissing her tenderly. “I love you so much,”

“I love you too,” she smiled. “But now that they know, that does mean I own this jumper, right?”

[seouledbysisi]

Something New

Chapter 21

Jae pulled up into a large apartment complex. He killed the engine and grabbed Sasha’s hand to kissit gently.

She looked around her surroundings. She felt a bit on edge. It had been a silent drive & he insisted on surprising her with something. Surprises gave her anxiety.

“Who lives here?” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not really in the mood for company.” Sasha sighed.

Jae chuckled lightly. “Well get in the mood.” He opened the drivers side & hurried around to catch the door for her. “Stop pouting and come on!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s just amazing to me that you’ve been hella busy for two weeks straight. We’ve barely seen each other yet you want to bring me to some random person’s house to hang out. Shouldn’t this day be about me since you finally have the time?”

Jae cleared his throat. He wasn’t in the mood for arguing. “Can you just please get out? I promise this will be a good day.”

She pulled the lipstick out of her purse to refresh her lips. “You owe me.”

She pushed past him as she stepped out the vehicle & walked ahead of him.

He jogged behind to catch up with her. “I can’t hold your hand?”

“You could have if you had have made this day about me. Oh well.” She crossed her arms. Sure she was being a brat but she really had missed him. He would have early mornings and late nights. By the time he’d make it to his mom’s house, they’d both be tired. And that was when he paid his mom’s house a visit.

They took the elevator up to the ninth floor.

“Let me guess this is one of your rich childhood friend’s home?” She asked with a attitude.

Jae shrugged. “I wouldn’t say rich.”

Sasha smirked. “Look at you being modest.”

The elevator dinged. Jaehyun led the way to the correct apartment.

905

He keyed a code in which unlocked the door.

“And why do you have the code to someone else’s apartment?” This whole day was getting weirder and weirder.

Jae simply laughed and pulled her into the apartment.

She was amazed at the decor. Whoever lived there had great taste or paid someone else who had great taste.

“Wow!” She spinned slowly to get a good view of the entire front room. “Who lives here, Jae?”

“We do.” A familiar voice sounded from the far left near the steps.

Sasha whipped around fast to see Ivy and Johnny leaning against the stairs. “Well done Johnny!” She clapped.

Ivy giggled. “I don’t think you understand. . .”

Sasha raised an eyebrow. “How hard is it to understand that Johnny got y’all a nicer place?”

Jaehyun grabbed her hands. “Babe, this is all of our place.” He had the biggest grin on his face.

Sasha looked around the living room once again. “Huh?” She was dumbfounded.

“Me and Johnny decided that we’d invest in a home that would be big enough for all of us. There’s four bedrooms plus a den.” Jae couldn’t stop smiling. Although part of him was scared she was going to shoot this idea down.

“Our bedrooms are down here. Ours on this side and yours across there.” Ivy pointed across the living room.” “And two extra bedrooms upstairs. One for Hendrix and-“

Sasha cleared her throat. “Don’t finish that sentence because I know where you’re going with it. I’ve come to the realization that I’m not having kids and I’m finally at peace with it.”

“I just have hope for you, sis.” Ivy pulled her into a hug.

Sasha forced a smile out. “Let that dream go. Plus you’ll have more that I can love on all the time.”

Johnny began to choke. “Oh God no. Not any time soon. Henny is enough!”

Ivy slapped his chest. “We’ll have more right now if I say so!” She yelled at him.

Johnny’s eyes widened. “Yes ma’am.” He answered with sarcasm.

“So are you in?” Jae asked with hesitation.

Sasha thought for a moment. “Do I really have a choice? This ring sort of bounds me to you. I go where you go.” She giggled. “Plus this apartment is Bomb!”

Ivy squealed. “Isn’t it?! They did so good with picking it out. I was shocked.”

“Who decorated?” Sasha asked as she eyed the two men.

“Us!” Johnny & Jae both answered at the same time.

Ivy burst into laughter. “Now the truth!”

“Well we hired someone but we gave her the vision and she brought it to life.” Johnny finally admitted.

Jae smirked. “So therefore we did it.”

Sasha rubbed his face. “Sure you did, babe.”

Brianne

Brianne walked the streets of Seoul, just to familiarize herself with the surroundings. She hadn’t fully decided to move there yet but she did have a couple of interviews lined up there. She figured it couldn’t hurt to check things out. She had missed her friends and maybe being closer to them would make her life better.

The sun was finally starting to set. She could smell the strong aura of fresh coffee beans being grounded. She squinted her eyes to see if she could find where the scent was coming from.

Bella Café

“Perfect!” She ran across the street to get to the entrance. It was winter so a hot cup of coffee was the perfect pair to this cold weather. As she stepped inside it wasn’t many patrons. She didn’t mind though. She just wanted to sip her coffee in peace.

“What can I get for you?” The guy at the register asked.

Brianne scanned over the menu. “I know I want some of that lemon cake, and maybe a vanilla latte?”

The guy smiled. “Cold or hot?”

“Definitely hot.” She inhaled the scent some more. She loved the way coffee made her feel. It put her in her happy place.

He gave her the total and waited for her to fetch her money out of her purse.

A male’s voiced spoke in korean from behind her as she noticed him hand the cashier a credit card.

Brianne turned around slowly. She knew the voice but thought maybe she was simply dreaming. “Taeil?” She whispered almost praying that he didn’t hear it.

He gave her his pure smile. “In the flesh.”

She was stunned. He looked the same. Nothing had changed. Still as handsome as she remembered. Still as sweet and humble as she remembered. Emotions began to crash into her like a bowling ball searching for pins.

“Shall we sit? Or are you leaving?” He asked with that same smile.

She wondered how in the world could he smile at her the way he was when she had shattered his heart years ago. “S-sure.” She grabbed her cake and drink and took a seat in a far corner.

“You must be visiting the girls?” He asked.

Bri took a deep breath. “Sort of. I also have interviews here. I’m contemplating on moving here.”

Taeil nodded and looked away. “It’s funny. I wanted you to come here with me and nothing worked. Now years later you’re here. It’s just funny.” His voice trembled a bit.

Brianne sipped her coffee. “I’m not the same girl I was back then. I was selfish.” She admitted.

He shrugged her statement off. “I get it. You wanted to live your life. . .without me.”

“I needed to live my life without you.” She voiced. “I know that sounds cruel but I needed to know who I was without anyone. I went from being in love with my best friend to realizing he would never love me the way I needed him to. Then he fell for my close friend and then you came along and pieced me partially back together but it wasn’t enough. I needed to find myself, and love me before I could let anyone else do it.”

Taeil seemed a bit taken back. “You were in love with Jaehyun? I never knew.”

“We grew up together and he always protected me so I guess over time I grew emotionally attached so when he left out of nowhere it was hard for me to cope; and when he came back it was even harder because he giving Sasha all the attention & I felt like he’d left me in his past.” Bri admitted. “Senior year was hard for me. I know I never said it but I felt it.”

Taeil stared at her for a moment. “Well every year after that has been hard for me. I’m glad you found yourself though.” He stood to leave.

Bri caught his arm. “I don’t want you to leave like this.” She wiped the tears from her face.

“You don’t need me. It’s time that I accept it.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t tell you all of that for you to feel neglected or useless in my life. I told you that because you needed to know the truth. If I hadn’t have experienced life without you, I wouldn’t understand how precious life is with you, Taeil.”

His eyes were glistening from years threatening to escape. He covered his face.

She pulled him into a hug. “Believe me I’ve missed you, Taeil.”

“For what it’s worth, I am glad you’re doing well for yourself.” He rubbed her shoulder softly.

She gave him a small smile. “Thank you. Let’s not go years without speaking again.”

He simply nodded.

Sasha

She tossed and turned all night. She had broke out in a cold sweat. Her stomach felt sick all of a sudden. Had to have been that takeout from earlier. She ran to the bathroom and sat in front of the toilet. Her stomach was turning flips.

Jaehyun rolled over & noticed that the bed was empty on her side. “Babe?” He called out in a groggy tone.

She whined a bit. “Jae do you have anything for an upset stomach?”

He jumped out of bed quickly. “Ginger ale?” He sang thru the closed door.

She pulled herself off the floor and opened the bathroom door. “Will you fix me some?”

“Of course!” He rushed out the room.

Her phone pinged. It was a notification from her period tracker app.

Did you forget to input your period?

Your period is seven days late.

She stared at the screen for what seemed like forever.

Jae stood over her reaching the glass out to her. “Babe, you good?” The expression on her face was as if she’d seen a ghost.

She simply nodded in silence.

The end

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 18B

Half an hour later, cleaned up and dressed nicely, Miles strolled down the stairs, Alex in tow. “Why do you keep walking behind me?” he wondered.

Alex smirked. He still couldn't shrug that feeling of happiness. Not that he wanted to. It clung to him like a second skin. “I like the view from here.”

Miles tossed him a dirty grin over his shoulder. “Careful, or our friends might figure out that you fancy me a bit.”

“Let them, I don’t care.” Alex couldn’t imagine not having Miles, and the harder he tried to stay away from him, the less he succeeded. The more he tried to reason with himself that giving into Miles was a horrible idea, the less his heart paid attention.

And he felt his arguments slipping away from him. How could he say that they wouldn’t find time for each other when it was so easy lately to find time for each other? How could he reason with restlessness when he only ever felt it in the absence of Miles? How could he claim to be selfish in the presence of a partner when Miles’ presence made him anything but that?

What if Taylor had it wrong? What if he could make it work? If he hadn’t ruined Miles’ life by now, didn’t that mean that maybe he might not ruin it at all?

“You okay?”

Alex blinked. “What?”

“Got quiet there all of sudden.”

“Oh…just…thinking.”

Miles fell in step next to him, slung his arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. “Stop doing that. Thinking. It’s not good for you.”

“Oh really?” chuckled Alex.

“It’s a party. We’re here to notthink,” he explained to him.

Zack, Matt and a few others were sitting near the pool and waiving at them. Miles led Alex there. “Should we decide on a codeword before we sit down?”

“Codeword for what?” asked Alex, confused.

Leaning in, brushing his lips against Alex’s ear, Miles whispered, “For when you need me so badly that it’s tearing you apart. A codeword that lets me know that I need to follow you and do something about your state.”

Alex struggled for air. He was trapped in a weird mixture of amusement and arousal and as he was laughing, he couldn’t help but pinch Miles’ butt. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“It’s why you love me,” quipped Miles.

The words came out so fast and so naturally that it startled them both. Alex could tell by the look in Miles’ eyes. “It’s true,” admitted Alex after a beat. Their eyes locked, until the calls and whistles from their friends became too loud to ignore.

“Well, what did we miss?” asked Alex as he sat down next to Miles.

“Nothing much,” said Matt, placing two full bottles of beer in front of them. “David was telling us about his upcoming wedding. Big party across the pond.”

The David in question sat a few seats down the large table. “Huge thing. Can’t wait to see you all,” he said. “Sure you can’t make it, Miles?”

“We already locked down the gigs in eastern Europe. I’ll fly out and celebrate with you later this year. Promise.”

“Do that,” agreed David and the two of them got lost in a discussion about some band they’d heard. Some others joined in as well. Alex, meanwhile, enjoyed just sitting there. He’d never felt the need to talk much. He rather liked listening to stories.

He also liked that Miles had his arm still slung over his shoulder and was absentmindedly playing with a strand of hair at the back of his head. It was innocent, really, but also not. It was full of intimacy. It was a gesture that let everyone know that Miles had that certain special privilege that allowed him to touch Alex in public, that allowed him to venture into his personal space and get comfortable there. It was a touch that let every know that Alex was his and Alex very much loved being Miles’. He also enjoyed having the same privileges and so he reached out, placed his arm over Miles’ shoulder and lightly ran his fingers through his friend’s hair. To know that he was allowed to do that, to just touch him whenever he felt like it, was giving him a strange sense of accomplishment, like he must have done something right to deserve that. Miles flashed him a brief but bright smile before returning to his conversation.

Matt leaned over towards Alex. “So that thing that I saw, whatever that was, does it mean that you and he are a thing now?”

“It means,” said Alex, “that we forgot to lock the door, which won't happen again!” He checked and found everyone else still locked in a discussion. He lowered his voice. “And no, we're not. He and I…” How was he supposed to define something that defied all common definitions? “We're just friends, only…not just friends.”

Matt nodded towards the poolside and Alex got up and followed him there. “You know he wants to be with you, right? I care for the both of you. I want my friends to be happy.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm for my love life,” snickered Alex, “but he, too, believes that—”

“He believes that's what you want,” interrupted Matt. “And he's as scared as you are…”

Alex rolled his eyes but as he listened to Matt’s ramblings, his attention was drawn back to Miles. He was still in the midst of an avid discussion with their friends, but every now and then his eyes strayed towards him. Not for long, just a second or two, until he caught himself and looked away again. His friend’s fingers, however, remained fixed in one place – the neck of his beer bottle. And his thumb and index finger were slowly, gently, absentmindedly travelling up and down the damp glass. He was jerking off the damn bottle and didn’t even realize it! Alex couldn’t stop staring. He really shouldn’t have laughed at Miles’ suggestion of a codeword!

“Stop drooling!” Matt snorted. “For two people who are so worried that sex might destroy their friendship, you're awfully eager to get it on!”

Alex was dumbstruck. He wanted to object, to call Matt out for his words, but the guy had spoken the truth. And he hated being confronted by the truth, especially when it was a truth he refused to acknowledge! “We're not— That's not…no?!”

“Speechless?” Matt scoffed. “Figures.”

“Out of all the people, you're the one who should understand why I'm scared! You and Bri were friends before you got together. And now you're divorced. If you hadn't gotten together, you'd still be friends!”

Matt shot him a harsh glare. “Listen up, Al! I love you dearly, but you're a fucking idiot! I would do it all over again, exactly the same way, If I could. Even knowing how it will end. I wouldn't want to miss a single memory I made with her. We didn't succeed and that hurt. I moved on and I'm happy again. But while it was good, it was incredible. So no, I don't understand.”

Alex looked away, ashamed. “I'm sorry I said that. It was bad. It's just…she's no longer in your life. And if Miles and I were to mess it up, he'd no longer be in my life.”

“You don't know that, Alex. Think about it, you kind of messed it up already. And he's still there!” Matt gave his shoulder a playful punch.

Well, not that playful. Alex winced. “OW!”

“Oh, toughen up! You're such wuss lately!”

Alex punched Matt's shoulder and when he winced in pain, Alex raised his eyebrow pointedly. “Sorry, did that hurt?”

“Fine, I take it back!” Matt chuckled. “Let's grab some food. Before you tempt me into throwing a real punch.”

“Think you can deck me?” Alex grinned as they made their way to the large BBQ grill. “Try, I dare you, Helders!”

“Someday, Turner. Someday.”

It was well into the night when Alex found Miles on one of the oversized loungers by the pool, gazing up into the clear night's sky.

“One of us always ends up doing that.”

Miles turned to smile at him. “Want to watch the stars with me?”

Alex got onto the lounger and climbed behind Miles, who in return got comfortable between Alex's legs. Leaning back, he rested his head against Alex's chin and tugged Alex's arms around his torso. Alex was only too happy to accommodate him.

After a while of silently watching the firmament, Alex posed a question he'd been wrecking his mind about for days now. “How about a new couch?”

“You don't like your old one anymore?” Miles dipped his head backwards, trying to meet Alex's eyes. “Do you ever even sit on it?”

“Maybe,” suggested Alex, “if I liked it more, I would sit on it more often. I could watch TV on it. Or…nap.” What else did one do on a couch?

“Make out on it?” grinned Miles.

“But you're never around to make out with,” countered Alex. The thought of making out with anyone else never even crossed his mind. “I think you should visit me more. At least once a month. And I could visit you once a month. That way we would see each other at least twice a month.” A grin lit Alex's face. “And if we agree to meet a third time at whatever random place you and I might be at any given moment, we would see each other at least three times a month.” And if we moved in together, a voice whispered faintly, we'd see each other much more often than that. But Alex didn't dare to say that out loud. They weren't together! Where did that thought even come from?!

Miles shifted, tried to get a closer look at Alex. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“I'm just saying that…” Alex wasn't sure what he was trying to say. “We should see each other more often, is what I'm trying to say, I guess.”

Miles nodded as his attention returned to the stars. “I'd like to see you more often.”

A smile settled comfortably on Alex's face and he began to run his fingers lightly up and down the back of Miles' hands. “It's been two years and ten months since the last time we've done this.”

“The night I kissed you,” remembered Miles. ”So much has happened since then.”

Alex nodded. He felt his friend slightly stiffening in his arms. “You're okay?”

“I'm going to ask you something.” Miles began to fidget. “But you need to be honest with me. Even if it hurts my feelings. It's one of those times where I can tell when you lie.”

Alex covered Miles' hands with his and linked their fingers reassuringly, steadying them. “I promise.”

Miles took a deep breath. “Was there ever a moment when you regretted that I kissed you? Your life would be much different if hadn't done that. You could still be with Taylor right now.”

Alex caught Miles’ eyes as he tugged him further into his arms. “When you kissed me, you showed me that there was an entire world out there that I had never even glimpsed at. Your lips introduced me to a whole new universe. You took away the limits of my life and made it endlessly more exciting. If there is one thing I regret, then it's not kissing you back that night.” He dipped his head forward, gently kissed Miles and beamed at him. “I'll be forever grateful that you kissed me.”

Miles smiled at him so bright, so full of emotion and happiness that Alex’s heart beat faster and it brought back another memory of that night. He smirked. “Did you know that your kiss lasted five heartbeats?”

“What?” Miles turned slightly, adjusted in Alex's strong arms. His eyes crinkled in amusement and something else, something Alex couldn't define. Was this how love looked like in somebody else's eyes? “You counted them?”

“I did. I couldn't possibly not. My heart was beating so loud in that moment. But I don't know if it was beating fast or slow. I lost all sense for time. Afterwards, as I tried to sort my thoughts, you leaned back and whispered that you'd fantasized about doing that for a while now.”

Miles' eyes went wide. “So that's what that line was about! I don't remember whispering anything to you.”

Alex wasn’t surprised. “Well, you promptly fell asleep and left me sitting there, counting the stars, trying to make sense of it all!”

“Did you make sense of it?”

“Never did,” admitted Alex. “I still don't know why you did it.”

“I couldn't not do it,” Miles said. “Sometimes I think I was meant to kiss you that night.” He frowned as he rolled on his stomach, facing Alex as he laid on top of him. “My fantasy was kissing you. I know you said you’ve fantasized about me, but you never gave me any details! What, precisely, did you imagine when you let your mind run free?”

“Oh, wouldn't you like to know?” Alex laughed. He brushed a strand of hair from Miles' forehead. “At that point, when I wrote the song? I had very virtuous fantasies about you and me, about chaste little kisses in shadowy corners. Nothing dirty.” He placed a lingering kiss on Miles' lips.

Miles turned back around with a smile, getting cozy between Alex's legs again. As he snuggled his head back against the side of Alex's face, he resumed watching the stars. “And later?”

“Later?” Alex nuzzled Miles' cheek, craving the sensation of his slight stubble as it lightly scratched the tip of his nose. “You mean, did my fantasies dip their toes into the dirty pond? Well, there's one I rather like,” he hushed, trailing one hand down the front of Miles' abdomen, “want to know about it?” He felt Miles nod shakily. Alex traced the outlines of Miles' pecks through his shirt. “You're on stage, playing a song, standing in front of the mic. It's a hot day and you're covered in sweat. Everyone's loving your show. And I'm watching from the side of the stage. Until I can't take it anymore.” Miles was growing restless and Alex felt spurred on. “I walk out and stand in front of you but you're forever the professional performer and ignore me. So, I drop to my knees and undo your zipper. I take you out and find you hard and leaking and I swallow you completely, right there, on stage, in front of thousands of people. And I suck you off so hard…” Alex dug his hands into Miles' hips as he squirmed in his arms. He nipped at his neck, then sucked hard on his skin, leaving a mark. “Dirty enough for you? I got more,” he offered, his voice thick and raw.

Miles grabbed his hand, entwined their fingers and placed it on top of his erection. Alex grinned victoriously. “This has turned you on, baby!” Alex pushed their joined hands down, rubbed Miles' cock through his jeans. He tried to get his own bit of friction by pushing himself against the back of Miles' butt, grinding. Their movements turned frantic, urgent, until—

“This looks like fun,” said a female voice, towering above Alex and Miles and disrupting them in the most unwelcoming of moments. “Mind if me and my friend join in?”

Blinking, trying to make sense of the voice and groaning irately at being disturbed, Alex looked up and glared. “I don't share. Get fucking lost!”

He heard Miles chuckling. “We forgot that it's that kind of party,” Miles reminded him in a bout of laughter. “Should have brought that door sign with us.”

Alex groaned, giving up on grinding and stroking, instead resuming to cuddle. “Maybe we should keep the sexual acts behind closed doors, at least for the duration of this party!”

Miles succumbed to laughter.

As Alex watched Miles’ laughter die down and his focus for the stars return, something occurred to him. Something he needed an answer for. Right away. “Miles?”

“Hm?”

“Do we share?”

“What?” Miles looked up over his shoulder, giving Alex the strangest look.

“I mean, I know I don't want to share. But I can't speak for you, can I?” Alex struggled to find the words for what he was trying to ask. Well, he knew what he wanted to ask, but that would require defining them. Which, as was obvious, was a bit complicated.

“Are you asking me if we're exclusive?”

“Well…” Alex rolled his eyes. “We're not a 'we' in the average sense of the word 'we', are we?”

“You're confusing me.”

Alex grunted. “I'm confusing myself! Are we exclusive?” He blurted again. Impatient. “This thing…whatever the fuck it is, is it just us?”

Miles' squinty look of perplexity made room for a slow smile. “Al, whatever the fuck it is, it is just us. No sharing. No one else. Just you and me.”

Alex wrapped his arms possessively around Miles and nodded. “Good. I'm happy we cleared that up.”

“Me too,” grinned Miles. “Remind me to cancel my other dates for the week!”

Alex bit down on Miles' neck. “Not funny!”

“I think it's very funny.” Miles wiggled deeper into Alex's arms. “But you can rest easy. I'm all yours.” Taking Alex's hand and bringing it to his lips, Miles kissed the back of it.

Forever? Asked that faint voice in the back of Alex's head. He pushed that thought away, once again. Instead, he watched Miles as his attention got lost in the sky.

“Still trying to arrange the stars into a song?” He'd come to find that Miles enjoyed watching the night's sky even more than he himself did, which was remarkable.

“I'm trying to catch their tune,” spoke Miles and took one of Alex's hands in his. He lifted it up, aligned their index fingers and pointed at a star. “See it? It's twinkling. All the stars are. But sometimes you have to look a long time to catch it.” His cheek rubbed against Alex's. “I think the stars are listening to a silent melody and dancing along to the tune. One day I'll figure out what it sounds like,” he said and pecked Alex's cheek.

“Go on a date with me.”

Miles sat up, stunned. He turned, looked at Alex in shock. “What?”

“Tuesday night, when you're in Paris, go on a date with me.” Alex leaned up as well. He placed his hand on Miles' face, cupping it gently. Even though his question had visibly startled him, Miles leaned into his touch as though it was the most natural thing in the world. And it brought a moment of calm to him. But as Miles remained silent, Alex got nervous again. His voice turned quiet. “Say yes, Miles. Please.”

“If I do…” Miles swallowed hard, his words were unsteady. “What if I like it? What if we like it? What if we want to go on another date?” He sounded as shaken as Alex. “What then?”

Alex took a trembling breath. He was startled by his own words. “Then we go on another date.”

Miles' voice got even more jittery. “What if we like that, too?”

He knew what Miles was asking and reached for his hand, squeezing it. Feeling him return the gesture, Alex got a little braver. He dared to smile. And touched Miles' nose with the tip of his own. “What if we can make it work, Miles? What if we won't mess it up?”

Miles pressed his forehead against Alex's, sounding breathless and full of emotion. “Do you really want to try?”

“It's all I want!” Alex kissed him. “I can't be without you anymore!” Another kiss.

He hadn't meant to ask him that. Hadn't planned on asking him out. But as he was holding onto Miles and listening to his musings about stars and silent songs, he'd realized that no matter how hard he would try, he'd never be able to let go of him again.

He couldn't imagine a day where he wouldn't want to feel his lips, taste his kiss, listen to his thoughts and get lost in his shiny big eyes when he smiled. And all of sudden, it didn't matter anymore that he was scared and nervous and unsure how to actually do it all – this whole happily-ever-after thing was new to him, after all. The only thing that mattered was knowing that Miles would be there with him, all the way, right down to the very end.

And if the end should ever arrive, they'd manage that together as well. They would remain friends forever. There was no longer a shred of doubt in Alex's mind. For he had finally understood. Love wasn't about succeeding or failing. It was about seeing the other one smile. And making Miles smile was something Alex could easily do for the rest of his life.

“I need to hear it, Miles. Say yes,” Alex pleaded again. “Tuesday night. Dinner and a movie. You and me.”

When Miles gave him his big, happy smile, Alex felt the floor beneath him disappear. And when Miles finally said yes, Alex felt like he was flying for the first time in his life.

Spoiler Part 19:

“I want you,” rasped Alex, leaning in to nibble on Miles’ earlobe. “Right here.” One hand fisted Miles’ tie. “On the muddy ground. In the rain.” 

[avis-writeshq]

Shawn Mendes x Reader: Like To Be You

Here’s a fic to make up for not posting recently ;-;... eh, it’s... long?

Requested: No

Warnings: Angst and crude language I suppose.

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader

Other: Based on the song “Like to be you” by Mr. Mendes >.< Y’all, I ain’t saying Shawn is that big a Baka that he wouldn’t help his s/o with her stuff… Imma just put that out there.

Word count: 2,489

 Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

(N/N): Nickname

(B/F/N): Best Friend’s Name

B/F/N/N): Best Friend’s Nickname

Two years. You and Shawn have been dating for two years. You would have thought that sometime during those two years he would have taken some time off to spend time with you. You would have thought that he would have taken some time off from the tours, took some time to relax, and just do nothing for a few weeks. Heck, even a few days would have been enough for you. But for almost the entirety of those two years, he was either at the studio, partying, or touring the globe.

You were proud of him. Of course, you were! You were proud that he found something he loved as well as millions of people. But sometimes you felt as if he didn’t even care about you. The first year he would apologise and make it up to you the next day, just spending a few minutes to talk to you, take you to a coffee shop for lunch, go to the movies to snack off the popcorn... He would take the time to kiss you goodnight and even that was enough. But lately, things weren’t up to par.

He spent 4 months on tour. Four freaking months without seeing him. Sure, you called each other, but every time your conversation was cut short.

“I’m really sorry, but the soundcheck is happening in five.”

“I’m sorry, baby, but the makeup crew needs me.”

“Sorry, honey, but I have to go.”

“Can we talk in the morning? The concert was draining.”

No more apologies. No more ‘making things right’. It was all ‘I have an excuse to leave’. You pinched the bridge of your nose as you stared at your phone. Without Shawn, the condo felt emptier than usual and you couldn’t take it. More than often, you would leave the apartment by 7 in the morning to go to work and return at 9, just so you can avoid it.

The café you were in wasn’t very busy, and for that you were thankful. You didn’t need people asking questions as to why you weren’t with Shawn or some random crap like that. You bit your bottom lip in agitation. You didn’t need this right now. With the stress of work and keeping food on the table, you didn’t need more stress in your life.

***

Shawn came back to the condo at the end of the tour, exhausted beyond his mind. After all, how could you expect him to not be with his partying until 2am and greeting his fans all the time? But that was 2 weeks ago. Surely he had time to get used to being home. His living standards were definitely up to par; he didn’t put away his dishes, turn off lights after he leaves the room, he doesn’t even pick up his socks! But you promised yourself to be patient. He has always had it harder than you, so you might as well try to be understanding.

“Hey Shawn,” you smiled as he came out of the bedroom, 7 o’clock in the morning. You were wearing your usual work clothes and was already packing your lunch and breakfast in your bag. Shawn stayed up late that night at Brian’s house, despite the fact he had work the next day. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, (Y/N), just really tired.” He let out a yawn, “I might take the day off today.”

At those words, you perked up. “Really?”

“I’ll try. I’m going to call Andrew. I’ll be right back, hun.”

You nodded as he retreated back into the bedroom, phone in his hands. Maybe now you could spend time together. Maybe go to the movies. He was always a Marvel fan, wasn’t he? Far From Home was released a few days ago, why don’t you go watch that? Before you could even think twice about the option, Shawn emerged from the room, letting out a huge sigh.

“How’d it go?”

“He said I could stay home,” he said, running a hand through his curls.

“Great!” You grinned. “Do you mind helping me with the dishes?”

“Why can’t you do them?”

Your smile faltered for a split second before you let out a breath. “I have to call my boss so I can have a day off, to spend more time with you. Besides, I’ve been living alone for the past few months and you barely did anything to help…” you trailed off, biting your lip.

“I’ve been touring the world, remember?” Shawn rolled his eyes. “I need a break.”

“It’s just a few dishes,” you mutter under your breath, “helping out isn’t going to kill you.”

“Then why don’t you do it? You’re making a big deal out of this!” His voice was starting to rise and you flinched slightly.

“Shawn, I was just asking you to help out,” you closed your eyes tightly. Why didn’t you just put the dishes away yourself?

“I’ve been away for 4 months and you’re mad at me for not helping out?” You could hear the agitation in his voice. “You don’t understand what I do!”

“Shawn-” You pleaded, tears prickling your eyes.

“I’m fucking tired, (Y/N)! You could at least help me!”

“I don’t want to fight about this…” you mumbled, looking away. Your attention was drawn to the clock that was already pointing at 7:15. “Crap, I’m going to be late!”

“Wait, (Y/N)-”

“I have to go; my boss is going to kill me.” And with that, you picked up your bag and bolted, thankful for the quick escape.

“(Y/N)-” But you were already gone.

Shawn let out a deep sigh, putting away the dishes that you left in the sink. He was an idiot. The plate on the counter had breakfast all ready to go; an apple cinnamon muffin with a cup of coffee. A small note beside it caught his eye and when he read it, guilt was pouring out.

‘Don’t work too hard! With love, (Y/N)’

The 24-year-old groaned, tugging at his hair. This wasn’t how he intended this morning to go! Why didn’t he just help you out? He wasn’t going to do anything, anyway. He was on tour for 4 months with minimal contact with you. He should be helping and loving you with every fibre of his being! Not making a mountain out of a molehill!

He grit his teeth in frustration. When you get home tonight, he was going to apologise and do everything in his power to fix things. But you never returned home.

***

“Thanks for letting me stay over, (B/F/N),” you smiled, tugging your work bag.

“What are friends for?” She grinned back, carrying a pillow for you. “What happened between you and Shawn?”

You groaned at the thought, plopping yourself down on the couch. “We had a fight. You know how he’s been on tour lately?”

Your best friend nodded thoughtfully, “to Europe, right? I thought he would have called you.”

“Yeah,” you roll your (E/C) eyes, “for five minutes. But now that he’s back, he wouldn’t even help me put away dishes.”

“Well, that sucks,” she sighed, sitting next to you.

“But it’s my fault, anyway. I should have just done them myself. He’s been on tour for 4 months. He’s tired. I should understand,” shaking your head, you hug the pillow. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough for him, (B/F/N/N).”

“(Y/N) (L/N), don’t ever say that about yourself. It isn’t your fault for expecting him to pick up some slack and it definitely isn’t your fault for causing the fight. And you are more than enough for Shawn. You’re kind, sometimes too kind, smart, beautiful… need I go on? You coped for months without him. If anything, he’s a trash boyfriend,” she shrugged, hugging you by the shoulders. “He didn’t even ask about your day when he called?”

“Not exactly…” you trailed off, and, seeing (B/F/N) disapproving stare, you quickly covered your comment up. “But he was really busy! Andrew kept calling him to fix something up… it’s really not a big deal…”

(B/F/N) let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Brian called, though. Shawn’s worried about you. You missed 4 of his calls.”

Your eyes widened in realisation, “really? I didn’t know.” Rummaging through your bag, there really were 4 phone calls as well as 8 text messages, 5 of which were apologies. You sighed, putting the phone down onto the couch.

“You aren’t going to call him back?”

“What if he’s still mad at me?” You bit your lip. “What if he just wants to finish the argument?”

“Why would he still be mad at you? (Y/N), if he’s still mad at you, he wouldn’t have called.”

Clenching your fists, you avoided any possible eye-contact, your anxiety shooting through the roof. “You know how long Shawn holds a grudge for…”

“And you know how much he loves you,” (B/F/N) pointed out. “(Y/N), you have him wrapped around your finger. He’s completely smitten with you!”

“I don’t know… he seemed really mad…” you frowned, leaning into the couch, flashing back to his frustration.

“Look. If you need space, you got it. Just… call him when you’re ready, okay? Don’t leave him hanging.”

“Yeah… okay.”

***

“Shit, Bri, I messed up big time,” Shawn groaned, collapsing on the couch. “I should have called her! I should have just done the stupid dishes for fuck’s sakes.”

“Mmhm,” Brian nodded, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to pretend that you didn’t mess up, because you did, Shawn.”

“But she doesn’t know how hard it is to be… me!” He scoffed, “I’m the one touring the world all the damn time!”

“And she’s the one you’re leaving behind every year to tour the world. She had to work, sleep alone, and all the while you didn’t call her,” the man huffed. “Why can’t you get it into your thick skull that she’s got it harder than you?”

“Because she doesn’t! You don’t know how much I missed her, how much I wished to be back here instead of thousands of miles/kilometres away from her!”

“Then tell her that, Shawn!” Brian let out another frustrated sigh. “You love her, don’t you?”

“More than anything.”

“Then talk to her, but maybe not right now. She’s probably still upset.”

“Right, yeah, of course. I’ll go tomorrow.” With that, Brian left him to his wallowing.

Shawn tugged at his hair, guilt clawing at his heart. He should have helped you. He loved you more than anything, and he made you run away. He shouldn’t have complained, but he did it anyway. He was so used to having people do things for him that he never even bothered to do things himself! He rubbed his face to calm himself down. He needs to apologise to you before he messes things up even more for both of you.

***

“Sometimes I’m kinda grateful that Shawn is such a huge rock star,” you admitted as you stirred the pot of soup. You were helping (B/F/N) with dinner as a thank you for letting you stay over. Your phone was in your pocket, earbuds blasting out a song.

“Why’s that?” She asked, looking up from her book.

You shrug, turning your attention back to the soup, “I can listen to his voice whenever I want.”

The woman burst into laughter, rolling her eyes. “You really are smitten, (N/N). I can’t believe Shawn would pick a fight with you. You’re so precious.”

At those words, you scoff, turning down the heat of the stove and moving to wash your hands. “I am not precious, and I am certainly not innocent. I’ve done more things with Shawn than you have in your entire life.”

(B/F/N) let out a mocking gasp, a small notepad flying your way. You snickered, dodging it with ease. “(Y/N), you’re such a freak!”

“You love me, really!”

A few hours later when you were sitting on the couch, your phone buzzed with another notification. (B/F/N) was already asleep, but you were reading a chapter of your book. Picking up the phone, a small smile made its way onto your face as you read the text.

Shawn <3: Goodnight, baby

Shawn <3: I love you

You rolled your eyes, typing back a quick response.

You: ILY 2

Chuckling to yourself, you put your book down, “what a sap.”

***

By 7 o’clock in the morning, you were awake, a fresh plate of pancakes and strawberries on the counter. You weren’t very tired, even though you stayed past midnight reading your book. You were strangely energetic, having woken up at 6:30. You were just about to call (B/F/N) out for breakfast when the doorbell rang.

“Were you expecting someone?”

“No…” she groaned, rubbing her eyes. “Who in their right mind would be here at 7 o’clock in the damn morning?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged.

The doorbell rang again, followed by a knock.

“WHO’S AWAKE AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR?!” (B/F/N) demanded, glaring at you.

Raising your arms in surrender, you went to open the door, only to be met with a familiar pair of brown eyes. Only, instead of the usual cheekiness, they were red from tears. “Shawn?”

“(Y/N)! I thought you weren’t going to open!” He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. He wasn’t wearing his usual black jeans and t-shirt. Instead, he was wearing sweatpants and his Harvard jumper.

You frowned before opening the door wider to let him inside. “Shawn, what’s wrong?”

“Everything! Dammit, (Y/N), you leave without saying anything, barely responding to my text and sh-” he quickly caught himself before looking you in the eyes. “You were right. (Y/N), you’re always right. I should have just helped you out. You were living alone, and I barely called! I should have done something!”

“What? No, you’re right! I have no idea what you do or how you do it. You‘re exhausted beyond your mind and I should have helped you out. I should have known that you were tired and I should have done something about it.” You squeezed your eyes shut. “You’re touring the world, Shawn! I should be more supportive.”

“No, baby, you are supportive. You’re always so good to me. You do everything back home. If you weren’t there, I would have no clothes for months and the only food I’ll be eating is cereal.”

You manage a small giggle through your tears, “you really are hopeless when it comes to food.”

“What I’m trying to say is… I’m sorry. I’ve been a trash boyfriend and I should have helped you out more.” He offered a small smile and he barely had any time to react when you wrapped your arms around his waist. The curly-haired man let out a sigh of relief, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Shawnie.”

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

My baby does me.

Summary: Everyone assumes you're the sweet, innocent one- but only Brian knows what you're really like.

Warnings: This is a fucking kink fest. Like the kinkiest shit I've ever written. Lotsa smut. Brian has a degradation kink and a praise kink. Dom!Reader and Sub!Brian. Little bit of BDSM. Swearing. Voyeurism. Exhibitionism. Unprotected sex is not cool- you know what is cool? Condoms. That's why both cool and condoms begin with a 'C'. Please use one. Also please don't read if your under 18.

A/N: This is my second fic for @fredthelegend's writing challenge and all I have to say is- Good lord. This is just a fuck fest idk what to tell you but I'm going to soak in a bath of holy water for the rest of my life. Enjoy! 💖 Lyrics are bold italics!

My baby

Baby does

My baby does, me good

Brian was glaring at you from across the dinner table. He always could see passed those innocently batting eyelashes and the 'butter wouldn't melt' smile. You knew exactly what you were doing and you were doing in front of all of your friends.

It was John's idea to get away for the week. He had a friend who owned a holiday cottage that had barns converted into rooms, in the cottage itself there was already three. So that's how you and Brian ended up going along with John, Veronica, Freddie, Jim, Roger, Dominique, Mary and David.

Brian bit down on his lip and shifted in his seat ever so slightly feeling you rub your heel clad foot against his leg. "Oh! Brian and I were walking home the other night and he told me dozens of facts about stars and space that I didn't know!" You smiled while taking with Veronica and Roger. You turned your head to look at him. "Didn't you, Bri?" You asked with a sweet smile. Brian hummed, your foot was going higher up his leg and he tried to push it away but he wasn't strong enough to resist you. You kept your relaxed and innocent demeanour while the part of your body that was under the table was about to do the imaginable in front of all your friends. You harshly pressed your high heel against his- already hard- length. "Didn't you, love?"

My baby

Baby does

My baby does, me good

He shut his eyes and rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. "Y-yeah!" He managed to spit out and you pulled back.

"Is everyone finished?" Mary asked "Y/N and I will grab dessert!" You followed her to the kitchen, shooting Brian a small grin as you stood up. He kept his eyes on you the entire time. Mary had her back to you and you were putting out the ice cream, you glanced up and noticed Brian staring at you. The corner of your mouth twitched upwards and you mischievously scooped up a bit of ice cream from your bowl with your middle finger and sucked it off your finger while keeping your eyes firmly locked with Brian's. He swallowed hard and his grip on his napkin tightened- especially when he saw some ice cream drip down and you licked the entire length of your finger with the tip of your tongue. It was resembling something else entirely at the moment. Brian's cock was twitching at the thought of you doing that to him.

You sent him a wink and he grabbed his drink- downing the entire thing.

Your sultry persona disappeared when Mary turned around and you chatted away- acting as if nothing had happened. That's what got to Brian the most- that's why he happily and easily submitted himself to you. How innocent and pure you could be when really you were the biggest minx on the planet.

The only one that could bring him to his knees.

My lady

Understands

Understands me right

She understands me

You walked through with Mary and placed the bowls down in front of everyone, letting out a faint snort of laughter when you glanced down at Brian's trousers. You moved around the table back to your seat, shaking your hips a little just to keep Brian's eyes on you a little more- as if you needed to, he had barely blinked he was looking at you so much. He had been desperate for you all day- all week. He was being slowly tortured as a form of punishment.

After dessert and a few drinks you headed upstairs first to get ready for bed, eventually Brian joined you and softly shut the bedroom door behind him. You were wearing a satin nightdress with one of his dressing gowns.

Brian had to bite down on his fingers to stop himself from reaching out and touching you- he knew what would be underneath just waiting for him. Nothing. "Y-you really had to bring that one and wear my dressing gown with it?" You knew just what he liked and you loved making him suffer.

She understands me

Understands me right

Mmmmmmm

My baby cares

She really cares

You turned with a smirk on your face "Of course I did. It's all part of your punishment, love." You sauntered up to him "You know you can look," you pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, purposely missing his lips. "But you can't touch." Your warning tone made Brian whine. "Especially not with two other couples in the cottage- you're so loud you'd wake them up." You teased with wink and traced your fingers over his jaw and then his lips. Brian parted his lips slightly and you slipped two fingers in, he was happy to have any sort of contact from you and he softly bit down on them. "Tell me how much you want me," you asked, looking at him through your lashes.

You pulled out your fingers that were slightly coated in Brian's saliva. "I want you so bad. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you the other day- I was just so desperate for you!" He remembered that night and it sent a chill down his spine how much he had disobeyed you. You had been working late and explicitly told him not to get started without you but when you got home, you found him on the bed with the back of his head buried into the mattress and his hand on his cock.

You had denied him any sort of contact with your body and it was driving him mad.

Back in the bedroom you were sharing in the cottage, you stepped back a little and Brian watched as you slipped the fingers that had just been in his mouth under the hem of your nightdress. You let out a small delighted gasp- emphasising a little just to torture Brian even more- when you slipped the two fingers inside you and pulled them back out again. "And I'm soaking- such a shame," you devilishly grinned and gazed and Brian as you licked your fingers. "Oh well...goodnight Bri, I love you dearly." You pecked his lips, he could faintly taste you on your lips. You got into bed, Brian stood in the spot for a moment, trying to compose himself before eventually joining you.

"I love you too," he murmured and kissed your temple before shutting his eyes.

She knows what's really right for me

Does me good then she hurts me so

She winds me up then lets me go

Turns me on and then tells me no

Brian was tossing and turning all night. He was unbelievably turned on and frustrated. He got up and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water- it was half two in the morning and the cottage was silent. You could hear a pin drop. Brian took a mouthful and then sighed into the glass. "I was sad when I didn't see you beside me." Brian almost dropped the bloody thing hearing you.

"I just needed to grab some water," he explained and turned around noticing you hugging his dressing gown around you. "You okay? Want a glass?" He asked. You smiled and shook your head in refusal, wandering up to the dining table you were all sitting at earlier.

"This is such a nice dining table don't you think?" You asked, brushing your fingers over the top of it.

Brian shrugged a shoulder "Yeah, I guess." He wasn't a table expert. He raised a brow then you sat up on it, your legs dangling slightly.

"Everyone knows what you do at the dining table..." you trailed off with your eyes boring into Brian's as you slipped off the dressing gown. Your satin nightdress was gone and just as Brian had predicted- nothing was there. "You eat." You darkly spoke and spread your legs.

Brian gulped "H-here?" He whispered "Now?!" He found himself walking forward and staring at you in all your glory. "We can't!"

You hooked your feet around the back of Brian's things when he was close enough and pulled him towards you with the strength in your legs. "We can and you will." You gripped his jaw and looked up to him with a sultry gaze. "Here's what's going to happen...you're going to get on your knees like a good boy and fuck me with your tongue before you fuck me with your cock." Brian whimpered. You talking dirty just made him agree to anything you wanted more. "Yes?"

"Y-yes," Brian shakily whispered out with shut eyes. You sunk your fingers into his jaw a little harder "Yes ma'am!" You released your grip on him and watched as he fell to his knees in front of you before leaning forward and gently running his tongue up the length of your slit. You hummed contently and stroked Brian's hair before gripping onto it tightly and pushing him towards your heat. He let out a small grunt but quickly got to work, licking your clit and then sloppily kissing your soaking folds. He was thrilled to have you again after so long.

"You've missed this haven't you?" You breathed out and let your head fall back a little. You let out a faint moan, being cautious not to wake anyone as you pushed Brian's face further into your pussy. "More." You demanded "I want more." Brian didn't even care about breathing at this point- he only cared about making you happy. Before you felt yourself getting a little too close to your peak, you pulled him back by the hair and he desperately gasped for air. He stood up and steadied himself slightly on the dining table while you kept your eyes fixated on him. "Tell me what you want."

Brian felt a chill go through his whole body at the tone you used. It was almost enough to make him orgasm right there and then. "I want to cum inside you, please. God, I want it so bad!" He pursed his lips and cried out his plea with irresistible puppy dog eyes.

"You have such a filthy mouth, baby..." you peppered the most faintest, delicate kisses on the skin around his mouth, tasting yourself as you did. "Fuck me."

She's just a pussy cat

My baby loves me

My baby loves me ooh

Brian didn't have to be told twice and pulled down his pyjama trousers and boxers just enough to get out his cock and then effortlessly slid inside your tight heat. He let out a loud groan into your shoulder as he began gently thrusting his hips- trying to savour the moment. Small whines and yelps fell from his lips and his hold around your waist became tighter.

You softly cupped his cheek and made him look at you "You've been so desperate for me, haven't you?" He nodded with his lips trembling. You smirked and playfully dragged your tongue over his mouth, he opened it and desperately collided his with yours. "Oh you're barely going to last, aren't you my baby boy?" Brian moaned and squeezed his eyes shut- he couldn't speak at the moment- all that left his mouth were moans. He gripped on to the table as his thrusting became harder and rougher, his nails and yours scraped away the wood and varnish. Your back arched slightly giving Brian perfect access to your breaths, he ran his tounge over your nipple and softly sunk his teeth into it, making you moan with a smirk. You sat back up a little and pressed your lips to his "That's alright because you're going to be cumming all night until you're on the verge of passing out." You sweetly and innocently spoke which sent Brian into overdrive, his hips thrusting faster than they had ever done. "Are you enjoying this?" You grinned and grazed your teeth over his neck, biting down on certain spots like he was your own personal chew toy.

"Yes! God yes!" Brian moaned and kissed you. "Am I being a good boy? He asked, almost pathetically as he was so ruined.

"Such a good boy for me!" You purred and delicately brushed the hair out of his eyes. It was sticking to his forehead with sweat. "God! My pussy fucking loves you inside it. Almost swallows your cock whole." Brian loudly moaned at your words and you tightly clamped your hand around his mouth. "Fucking shut up."

"Hello?" It was John.

Brian went to pull out but you gripped his hips even tighter and moved your hands rhythmically so he kept fucking you. Your eyes bore into his as your nails sunk deeper into his flesh- he was a mess already and you had barely even started with him. "Keep yourself quiet!" You hissed in a whisper and Brian placed both hands on his mouth to shut himself up. The glare you were sending him was deadly- a mix of thrill from the danger of getting caught, lust and power. You could hear John leaving the kitchen. "Fuck!" You quietly groaned and came on his cock with a silent scream, your face perfectly contorting with pleasure.

Brian lasted about five seconds after that and came with a shuddering cry, his thrusts becoming sloppy before he eventually pulled out. "Jesus fucking hell," he deeply panted and wiped away the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand before pulling up his boxers and trousers.

You got off the table and wrapped the dressing gown around you again. You could feel the remains of Brian dripping down the inside of your thighs. You tutted and pointed at the table. "Look at the mess you've made, baby." Brian glanced at the patch of your juices mixed with his cum. He went to the kitchen and found some wipes. "Oh no!" You devilishly grinned "You'll need to clean up the cum on this table...with your tongue first." Brian let out a shaky breath. "When you're finished, you can follow me upstairs on your hands and knees like the good boy you are." You gripped onto his jaw. "Get to work."

Brian swiped his tongue over the sticky substance on the table and you watched him desperately clean up every last drop before wiping it with some wipes. When he swiftly tidied up, he slowly got onto all fours in front of you. You narrowed your eyes slightly and cocked your head to the side. "What?" Brian asked. "What's the matter?"

"You're missing something..." you murmured before a lightbulb went off in your head and you pulled off the tie that was around the dressing gown and placed it around Brian's neck.

"W-why?" Brian asked as you tied the piece of thin fabric around his neck.

"Because last week you acted like a little brat and couldn't fucking go a few hours without waiting for me." You bent down slightly so your face was level with his. "Because you're a bitch. That's why." You gritted out and little dots of spit hit his face. "So you're going to be treated like one." You twisted the tie between your fingers and tugged him along- he crawled on his hands and knees behind you and all the way up the stairs. As much as it was torturing Brian- he was loving every single second. When you reached your bedroom you untied him and motioned him to get onto the bed. "I only brought one of my toys with me," you pouted and headed to your bag, pulling out the shiny handcuffs and letting them dangle off your middle finger. You looked at them before dramatically sighing. "I don't have our favourite..." you looked at him through your lashes with a toothy grin. Brian almost growled. Our favourite. He had a very strong love hate relationship with the thing you were talking about. Your whip. "I'll have to use the next best thing." You pulled off the belt that was still around his jeans that he had left on the chair in the room. Brian went wide eyed. You smirked and crawled over the top of him- his belt was between your teeth. You straddled him and placed his wrists in the cuffs and secured him to the bed, pulling off every piece of clothing he was wearing.

My baby cuffs me ooh

One day she'll tells me that she cares

Another day she tells me she don't love me

She really really does me

"Keep as quiet as you can now, my baby boy," you purred and turned him slightly before whacking his bum with the leather belt. Brian groaned and shifted in the bed slightly. "Now you're going to count to ten and I'm going to spank you- if you lose count you'll have to start all over again." You grinned, almost patronisingly. Brian tentatively nodded and braced himself.

"One..." he whispered and gasped feeling the cool leather hit his skin, leaving a searing, hot, red mark behind. "T-two," another hit and he moaned. "Three," he gritted out and bit down on his lip, almost drawing blood. "Four- fuck!" He yelped. He managed to make it to eight before repeating himself.

You tutted with the biggest smirk on your face. "You know what..." you put down the belt and turned him onto his back before straddling his thighs and gently caressing his sides. "You've been such a good boy that I'll let that slide. But just this once!" You warned and got up to grab the keys to the handcuffs, leaning over Brian and slowly unlocking them. He seized the opportunity of having your breasts near his face again and leaned up slightly, brushing his tongue over your nipple and gently sucking on it. You gasped at the unexpected contact. "Oh god..." you groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "That's good, Bri, baby." He kept doing it, softly moaning and mewing against the sensitive skin around your nipple causing you to moan out his name. "Brian...oh that's a good boy, Bri." You pulled back and tossed away the handcuffs that you had eventually removed. He sat up eagerly in bed like a puppy about to get a treat. You soothingly rubbed his wrists and looked at him with a sinful gaze "You're going to do as I ask and fuck me into this mattress- understood?"

"Yes ma'am," Brian grinned and pounced on you, attacking you with hot, passionate kisses as he thrusted his cock inside you once more- getting a groan out of both of you.

As his pace began to pick up, so did the volume of his moans. "Shh..." you placed your hand over his mouth. "We don't want everyone to know how much of a needy little slut you are," you smirked and Brian moaned again at your words. You said some of the most poetic things at times, but the things you said behind closed doors were some of the best words Brian had ever heard leave your mouth.

"Again." Brian begged.

You raised a brow "What do you me-oh! Fuck!" You gasped feeling his length being driven even further into you. "What do you mean?"

"Call me a slut again, please! I'm fucking begging you, Y/N- ma'am!" Brian quickly corrected himself- he was in such a state he barely knew what he was saying.

"You're a fucking slut, baby boy." You moaned and writhed under him. "The best slut. Oh shit! Good fucking god!" You moaned into his shoulder as his hips frantically buckled. "Bri, I'm so fucking close." You slapped his ass and he brokenly yelped- it was still red raw and stinging from earlier. "I'm so close!"

"Me too," he grunted "Cam I cum? Please? Please say yes!" He sloppily begged again.

You grinned "Since you asked so nicely," you latched your lips against his before something inside you snapped and you came- your whole busy shuddering under Brian's. You were both still being cautious of the others that were sleeping. "Cum for me, baby." Brian moaned into your mouth as he came undone inside you once again. "Mhmm good boy. Such a good boy." You praised and Brian grinned, slowly getting off of you. You showered him with gentle kisses and let him curl into you as your dominating side became dormant once more. "Are you sore? Was I too rough? I brought your favourite- chocolate buttons!" You smiled and gently pecked him on the nose "Do you want anything at all?"

"No," Brian contently hummed with a tired smile on his face. "Not right now. I just want you to hold me." He looked up to you and you both shared a short, sweet kiss. "God you were amazing- as per usual...ma'am" he flirtatiously purred and bit on his bottom lip.

"Oh Brian you're playing with fire now," you shifted yourself down the bed a little, still holding Brian in your arms. "Trying to get me all riled up again?" You kissed his temple and he yawned, making you smile. "Seriously, love, get some sleep. You did good tonight. I love you. I love you so much." You whispered and stroked his hairline as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you too." He sounded exhausted. You had well and truly worn him out between the thrill of getting caught and mind-blowing sex. He knew when he woke up you'd be completely innocent in the eyes of everyone again, and yet, be a dominating minx when you had the chance. Just the way Brian liked it. If he told anyone what you were really like- they'd never believe him.

Ooh, people do you believe this? Do you?

Oo ooh, ah

Ooh ooh ooh

"Morning all!" Freddie greeted "Sleep well?"

"Oh yes!" Mary grinned "It's so peaceful here and all the fresh air had me out like a light!" She giggled and sat down at the table with everyone else. Veronica and John were the first two to get up so made a start on breakfast for everyone. Brian was sitting next to you with his hand on your knee, every so often you'd send each other a loving glance.

Roger narrowed his eyes at the patch of damaged wood next to his plate and rubbed at it.

"How did these scratches get on the table?"

Ooh she really really really really really really aah, does me, hey

———————–————

Tags- (Tag list is open! Just let me know if you want to be tagged or not or if I've forgotten to tag you!)

@rrrogah-tayluhh @rogerofmylife @phantom-fangirl-stuff @pyrotechnic789 @deacytits @mercurys-bike @happy-at-home @mhftrs @dannydelay @queenismylifenow @whitequeen-blackqueen @stateofloveandvedder @blondyfel @mespetitestortues @trickster-may @xtrashmammalstefx @the-garnet-rain @makapaka11 @killerqueenbucky @hodgepodge-of-rog @fredthelegend @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine @bowiequeen @princessleiaqueen @asgardpapi

[megalony]

Piecing together- Part 1

This is a dad! Roger Taylor series I am working on which is a follow on from Fractured Pieces.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @rogahs-drowse

Summary: Roger is a single dad to James who is the centre of his world, but has a lot of medical problems/ illnesses.

Fractured pieces masterlist

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Leaning his head to the side, Roger folded his arms over his chest as he leaned against the kitchen counter behind him. His brows raising as he looked at his boy, clearly but silently asking if he was lying or not.

James wasn't the type of child who would lie unless it was simply to play a joke on Roger which he knew was fine. But Roger knew if James got anxious or didn't want to do something or go somewhere he would exaggerate a little which he what he sensed James was doing now.

Roger had known when he had first started taking James to preschool that it was going to be much harder when taking him to primary school. James didn't like to go anywhere without Roger and it had taken time for him to be fine with going to playgroups without Roger having to be there with him. But school was different. School was where James had to be in class with others where teachers tried to encourage the children to talk to one another. School was where James couldn't sit next to the bookshelf and read in solitude.

It was a place he was going to have to interact with people his own age and with the teachers and that was something he didn't want. It wasn't just reading stories and drawing and playing games, it was learning and James preferred to do that with Roger.

Recently the band hadn't been busy making an album. For the past year, they had done one tour and that was it, they had been on a break as it were which they all desperately needed. Now they were trying to get back into their groove to work for Live Aid in two weeks. So Roger had been home and with James almost every day and he loved it. Roger had been showing him some basics for English, maths and had told him what he would be doing at school. And James had loved it because Roger was the teacher.

But Roger knew he simply couldn't homeschool James because he didn't go anywhere. James only had two friends from the playgroup he went to and he rarely saw them. He would never go out if he was homeschooled and Roger couldn't do that to him as much as he desired to wrap James in bubble wrap and keep him at home.

It had been two days since James first started primary school and he was finding it difficult. He hated mixing with others and having to sit with other kids, he was too busy panicking to concentrate properly and he wasn't allowed to keep his bag on. His Queen bag holding his medication had to be kept in the cupboard with everyone else's medication but the teacher had purposely sat James near the cupboard so he wouldn't panic that someone else would snatch the bag when he wasn't looking.

"I'm not fibbing." The seven-year-old pouted as he had puppy eyes that almost always made Roger crack.

Roger pushed himself off the counter with a sigh as he moved to bend down in front of his boy, motioning with his finger for James to spin around. The little boy sighed in relief that Roger was taking him seriously as he turned so his back was facing the drummer.

One of their usual routines taking place as Roger lifted James' shirt and jumper before pressing his ear against James' back. Listening to him taking deep breaths so he could see if his breathing sounded laboured or hard or if there was any crackling that suggested an infection. Roger had to admit it sounded a bit more forced than usual but there was no crackling and nothing to suggest there was anything wrong. James said there was no pain in his chest, it just felt a little harder to breathe than normal.

"Take these to make sure you don't get an infection." Roger reached into the black Queen bag that was sitting on the table, pulling out a small silver sachet and taking out two circular pills from it to hand to James. It was a precaution to make sure if there was an infection or a cold that it wouldn't get any worse. "You're still going," Roger stated when James frowned but did as told anyway.

"But daddy-"

"Buddy, you're having a checkup on Monday. If something's wrong then the doctor will find out but for now, you're perfectly well enough for school. No buts, come on go get ready." If there was something wrong or James was really ill Roger would let him stay home but he knew James was trying to exaggerate so he didn't have to go because school made him panic.

Roger couldn't do anything about James' anxiety, he couldn't take it away from him and he couldn't do much but comfort him and try and get him to go to school. The more he went the less he would panic about it because he couldn't be homeschooled with Roger's work and his social anxiety that needed to be taken into control now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I think we need to get you a new bag." Roger commented as he rested his hand on James' back between his shoulder blades. His blue eyes looked over the bag that his boy had had for roughly four years now, a bag that he had used almost every day since he first got it.

Being the one in control of his medication and making sure he remembered that made James feel happy, it made him feel like he was grown up even if Roger was the one to tell him what to take and how many and when to have the medication. But he always had his black backpack with the silver Queen logo on the front.

The right strap of the bag had almost snapped and Roger had haphazardly sewn it together twice already and now the left strap was beginning to tear. The zipper was worn out and there were threads pulling loose here and there which made it look tattered but loved from how much use the bag had seen over the years.

Leaning his head up to look at Roger, James shook his head in protest. He knew the bag was worn out but he didn't want another one, he liked this one.

Reaching into the bag, Roger grabbed the bottle of orange juice as the pair of them approached the middle of the vast hall that was filled with equipment for the band. They weren't recording anything they were simply practising their songs and anthems for Live Aid so they didn't need a studio, they had found a music hall that would let them practice every day for as long as they needed.

The floor was rather old and wooden but the room was bare and let them fill it up with the drum risers and the drum kit, the guitars, a piano and a lot of amps and speakers and microphones.

"Alright, sit anywhere you want buddy but make sure you drink some of this." Roger handed the bottle of juice to James who nodded, trotting over before sitting himself down to the side of the circle of instruments where he had a view of them all. Roger had taken a small break to head to the school and pick James up when he finished but they still needed to practise so he brought him along to practise. It was easier than getting someone else to take James and then drop him off home later. Roger got more time with him this way.

He wanted to make sure James kept his fluids up as well, with how little he ate he needed to at least keep hydrated and he had a few snacks in his backpack in case he go hungry.

Roger kept drifting his eyes over to James as the band started to practise, of course they weren't anywhere near ask good as they normally were but they hadn't played together in almost a year since the tour they did was right after they did their last album last year. They had to practise to get better and they were confident that they would be as good as usual or even better within the week or so.

Leaning down to his right, Roger grabbed the water bottle resting near his seat as he watched Freddie head over to talk to James for a while since they were taking a break. His head turned as he started to have a drink, looking up at Brian who was standing next to him, leaning against the wall behind the drumkit.

"How's Cath?" Brian suddenly questioned causing Roger to dip his head down as he placed the bottle back on the floor beside his seat.

He knew there would be a reason for Brian coming to talk to him and he had prayed that this wouldn't be the topic that Brian wanted to talk about. Cath was someone who worked at the studio in London they normally went to and all the boys knew that Roger had been out with her a few times but to Roger, it wasn't that simple.

He wasn't looking for a relationship.

"Okay I think, I haven't talked to her in a week or so." Roger shrugged his shoulders, watching carefully as he noticed the change in Brian's eyes and stance as he seemed to frown.

Brian wanted Roger to find someone, he wanted him to be in a relationship because although he knew Roger didn't need someone to rely on, he knew the drummer had always liked being in relationships. He liked someone to talk to, someone to challenge him on his views and to talk to about music or politics. Roger was always one who used to want to be with someone and since (Y/n) passed away Roger hadn't been with someone seriously. He had had the occasional fling here and there but not a relationship.

"Don't do that." Roger huffed, leaning his head back against the wall as he twirled his drumstick between his fingers.

"What?"

"Pout like I just turned you down for a date. I know you want to 'fix me' Bri, but I don't want to be with Cath."

Brian seemed to have a desire to fix things for people and although that was a good trait to have, Roger didn't want to be fixed. He didn't want a relationship because he wanted (Y/n) and he could never have her back. Cath was nice, she liked politics and music and she worked close to him which was a good sign but she wasn't (Y/n). She hadn't been his best friend for ten years, she hadn't been that person that knew Roger inside out, she wasn't the girl he had an affair with. She wasn't the one who passed away having his child.

Roger was pining over someone he couldn't have and even though Roger was getting over the sorrow and the desperation to have (Y/n) back, he didn't want a relationship.

He had been married and it didn't work out, he finally got to be with the person he loved and she passed away. He didn't want any more heartbreak because he wouldn't recover and he didn't want a relationship that he had no time for and that he didn't need to sustain him. He was fine being single with the occasional one night stand here and there.

"I don't want to fix you Rog, I want to see you happy. You think you don't deserve a relationship because of (Y/n) and you think you can't be in one because of James-"

"There's a difference between believing I don't deserve one and believing I don't want one. (Y/n) was it for me, if I can't be with her then I'm fine just me and my boy." Roger wasn't drowning in sorrow and guilt that made him believe he didn't believe to be with anyone else in his life.

At one point, Roger did think that if he got into another relationship they would get hurt and he would feel more heartbreak. And another time he did believe he didn't deserve to be with anyone else because God had let him be with (Y/n) for such a short time before snatching her away. But now Roger knew everyone deserved to be with whoever they wanted but the difference now was that he didn't want that.

"And when James gets older?"

At the moment it was clear Roger was focusing on being a father to James which stole the time he had for being in a relationship. James was ill, he needed that extra bit of care that Roger was more than willing to give. If he was with someone he would have to explain how James had to have different medications, that he couldn't eat dairy, that he had to have all these different appointments and how he didn't want to go to school.

He would have to explain everything to them and they would have to realise James would always come first in every scenario. He would have to tell them how if James was ill Roger had routines and explain those routines. He would have to say that when James couldn't sleep or he was sick he laid with Roger and they chatted away or Roger just held him until he felt better or fell asleep.

Roger was both a parent and carer to James and it meant he didn't have time for a relationship and he didn't want one right now either.

"Brian, don't take this the wrong way but please stop. I've almost lost him twice and I can't feel that again, alright? He's everything to me so yes, I'm not looking for a relationship because I want to focus on him but when he's older I might want to be with someone or I might not. Right now it's me and him, no one else."

When James was born Roger thought he was going to lose him and he knew if he did he would be left on his own. He lost (Y/n), he couldn't lose his son as well. when James got pneumonia Roger came close to losing him again and he was not going to feel that again, he wouldn't allow it to happen. So he was focusing on making sure James was okay, he was healthy and he was happy. James never asked why Roger wasn't with a partner and James clearly loved being Roger's world and being at the centre of his world and Roger loved it too.

He didn't want anyone else in the mix at the moment, he just wanted it to be him and his boy. But Roger would admit he knew he wasn't always going to be caring for James. He would grow up and do his own thing and be his own person and Roger would never want anything else. Right now he wanted to get James to that point and when it happened Roger might look for a relationship.

But for now, it was just him and his boy.