#brendon’s voice is seriously sexy

[vengeancevixen]

Brendon had to play the guy with confidence and cockiness to sell the band after the split, the whole fake it until you make it advice he always gave, from a guy who struggled with depression and anxiety and it took years to feel comfortable in his skin. It’s kinda funny to me that people actually believe he’s an egomaniac in real life.

[vengeancevixen]

I’m in!

[dirty-urie]

Date Night

Third Person

Brendon x Sara (OC kinda)

College AU

PWP Oneshot

NC-17

5.4k Words

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story using the names and/or likeness of at least one real person. This is intended for entertainment purposes ONLY. Please do not share or bring up my work with anyone other than fellow fans. Any similarity to real-life events involving these characters that have not been shared with the general public is only coincidence. Just because I’ve included something in my fics does NOT mean I condone, support, or encourage that behavior, language, or action in real life. Please practice safe and consensual sex practices, and just be a good person.

Warnings in Order of Appearance: Real Person Fic, Crude and Vulgar Language Throughout, Mentions of Alcohol, Brief Joke About Forgoing Contraception, Talk and Consumption of Pornography, Unprotected Oral Sex, Female Receiving Oral, Intercourse, Male Receiving Oral, Female Masturbation, Use of a Non-Sex Toy as a Sex Toy, Minor Social Anxiety

Author's Notes:

1. I spelled Sarah's name wrong on purpose because I felt bad writing porn about her. Brendon's technically permitted to write about him, so I'll do that without guilt (okay, with some guilt, but I feel guilty about everything. I have anxiety), but I respect Sarah too much to do that to her. That being said, I didn't want to use a random name, so I decided on a middle ground. Here's Sara, who is both not a real person and also not not married to Brendon Urie in real life. Schrodinger's OC. Okay, thank you for putting up with me.

2. I don’t know if I’m going to write any more third-person fics. I know they’re not really that popular, but for some reason, this spoke to me in third, so I embraced that. Anyway, give it a chance, and if you don’t like it, give whatever I publish next a chance.

3. This used to be split into two parts because I uploaded it on mobile, but I have since condensed the two parts, and now the whole thing is on this post.

Brendon fumbles with his keys as he unlocks the door to his apartment. Sara won't be there for another little while, but he's anxious to get inside anyway. His roommate is away visiting his family for the first time in nearly two months, and he hasn’t gotten any real alone time with his girlfriend since then. It’s hard, and Brendon knows Sara’s been struggling too because she spent their whole coffee shop study-date the day before whispering to him about how she's been practically crawling out of her skin. Brendon shivers at the memory of her hot breath against his ear as he slams his front door shut and hurries to his bedroom.

He's thinking about all the nasty ways he wants to get back at her for getting him so worked up in public when, speak of the devil, his phone buzzes, and Sara's name pops up in the caller ID. Actually, "Brunette from Creative Writing" pops up, but he swears he'll change it one day. Sara jokes that they'll be married with a whole flock of adult children, and she'll be calling him from the bingo hall as "Brunette from Creative Writing." God, he fucking loves her.

"Hey, babe, I just got home," he says after he hits the answer button.

"Okay, I just got out of my lecture, but I'm stopping by my dorm to grab my duffel bag, then I'm going to the drugstore to get condoms that aren't the shitty university clinic ones, so I won't be there for almost another hour," she tells him.

"Noooo, just come straight here. You can just wear my clothes all weekend. And condoms are so unnecessary; I'll just pull out," Brendon whines.

Sara laughs into the phone, knowing he doesn't mean any of that. "Oh sure, in that case, I'll come right over. Did you want to pay me $400,000 to raise a child in cash or check?"

"Uh, check, but you're gonna have to wait a bit to cash it," he replies.

He can practically see her rolling her eyes, even through the phone, "I'll be there in an hour, but I'll bring you something fun from the drugstore," she says.

"Fun like sex fun or fun like gum from the checkout stand fun?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, love you, bye!" she tells him through the phone before hanging up.

"Love you too, babe," he says sarcastically to no one. He walks into his bedroom and makes sure it's spotless. He doesn't want anything whatsoever to get in the way of fun, sexy times once Sara gets here.

His apartment is clean; he has wine and groceries in the fridge, enough money saved up to rent a movie and order dinner later, and no homework, so once Sara shows up with the condoms, he’ll be good to spend the entire weekend at home with her. With nothing else to do, he climbs onto his bed and grabs his laptop. No harm in a little pre-gaming, he figures, pulling up his favorite porn website while he waits.

He clicks on the first video without too much thought. It’s a girl, one Brendon recognizes, wearing a tiny thong and nothing else, and playing with a small bullet vibe while her boyfriend watches. She’s wet, probably just with lube and not actual bodily fluid, he realizes, but at least they bothered to make her look physically aroused at all.

He gets invested in the video, in the new toys that the boyfriend hands her, in the way both of their arousal grows as time goes on. He gets so engrossed that he’s beyond startled when Sara interrupts with, “Starting without me?” eyeing the erection already straining through his jeans.

Brendon laughs with glee now that she’s finally here, “No, no, no, just passing the time while I wait for you. No touching yet, see," he says, holding up his hands and waving them around before pausing his video.

"Well, don't stop on my account," Sara scoffs. "I don't mind you starting without me as long as I'm there when you finish," she murmurs.

They both moan, Brendon in response to her words, Sara in response seeing Brendon's cock twitch in his pants, “Ah fuck, babe, that’ll be sooner than I’d like if you keep talking like that.”

Sara climbs in next to him and snuggles against him so that she can see his computer screen, “Ooo, she’s hot,” she says, pointing to the girl now getting eaten out by the guy who, coincidentally enough, doesn’t look dissimilar to B.

“Yeah, I like a lot of her work,” Brendon says back, disinterested in the video playing on the laptop now that Sara’s actually there in the flesh “hey, you should take your pants off,” he suggests, totally smooth and subtly.

“You’re such a guy, B. No ‘how was your day? Are you hungry? Can I get you something to drink?” she teases.

Under normal circumstances, Brendon would object to such slander on his impeccable moral character. But, well, there’s not a lot of blood in his brain right now, and he knows that she would just respond with more teasing, further delaying the Fun Sexy Times, so he rolls to his side and kisses behind her ear, pressing his cock against her leg in an attempt to tease her into pliability. It works; she melts, whimpering a little bit as heat pools deep in her stomach when she feels just how turned on Brendon is. “You feel so nice, B. Bet you’d feel nicer without this layer of denim between us. Can you help me?”

Brendon unbuttons her pants and moves down to slide them off her body, moving his mouth along the newly revealed skin as he works them off. He’s paying so much attention to the warm flush of her thighs that he almost misses her panties: dark red lace, even darker where she’s soaked through them, and so delicate that they’re nearly see-through.

“Oh fuck, babe, that’s gorgeous. Are you wearing a matching bra?” he asks.

She answers by sitting up and pulling off her t-shirt, revealing the same thin lace. Her nipples are hard, practically poking through the delicate material.

Brendon settles back on his heels to fully take his girlfriend in, now stripped down to just her matching bra and panties set.

Sarah grins down at him, “Why do I get the sense that I can expect this set in every color for my birthday? Although, I know for a fact that I can get the same reaction from you wearing full-coverage high-waisted granny panties,” she thinks aloud after seeing Brendon’s wide-eyed awe.

Brendon isn’t paying attention, though. His mindset shifted from the fun and playful sex they usually have to lust-fueled passion as soon as Sara took her shirt off. Don’t get him wrong, they have great sex, but they normally have to do it fast and quietly and spontaneously, so they’ve gotten good at not taking themselves too seriously, at laughing at Brendon’s old superhero boxers, and then getting to business. Now that he has the chance to really take his time to appreciate, no, worship her as she deserves, he wants to do it right.

He moves off his heels and crawls over her body, supporting himself with one muscled arm as he moves in to kiss her. She picks up on the change in mood immediately, grasping the back of his head to deepen the kiss. He’s throbbing against her thigh now, even through his jeans, and she’s worried that she might come just from feeling him.

She, too, loves their normal sex, but even though it’s fun, it can’t always be as intimate as either of them would like. And it’s a shame too because as good at Brendon is at fucking, banging, screwing, whatever, he’s damn good at making love. At making sure she’s safe and supported and in absolute bliss, even when they’re hooking up in someone’s bedroom at a party, but especially like this when they’ve got hours and total privacy.

When her moans increase in pitch and frequency, Brendon crawls back down on the bed and settles between her thighs. “Darling, these panties are a gift to humanity, but I’m afraid they’re going to get in the way of some things I have planned. You don’t mind if I take them off, do you?” he says, voice deep and gravelly. He mouths against the soaked fabric while he waits for her response.

After taking a moment to collect herself and catch her breath, “God, Brendon, please, I need your mouth, fingers, cock, something,” she whines.

Now that he has her permission, he moves his mouth from her core to the waistband against her hip and bites it, just letting his teeth scrape her skin as he pulls down. Whether intentionally or not, Sara arches her back up, making it easy to slide them all the way down her legs. He kisses her way back up her legs, but instead of stopping between her thighs, he keeps going up. He licks up across the flat planes of her stomach all the way until he reaches her bra. Just like with her panties, he mouths over the fabric first, inching up slowly before sucking on one of her nipples through the lace.

As much as he loves how her breathing gets faster and heavier just from that, he can’t resist the actual mouth-on-skin that the low cut of the bra allows. He sucks a pink mark on each breast and then moves to lick and suckle gently on her neck. They’ve both agreed that they’re not middle schoolers and visible hickeys are beyond tacky, but they both go so wild from neck stimulation that it can be hard to resist spending a few minutes sucking a licking at the rapidly-beating pulse points.

As much as Brendon wants to keep teasing, Sara’s squirming like crazy, and he’s worried that if he kept going in the same way, she’d come before he got to touch her for real. He finally settles between her thighs for real this time, kissing and sucking gently on her vulva for just a second or two. Sara is quivering by the time he moves down to suck on her clit. As soon as he finally makes contact with the sensitive hood, she screams out in ecstasy, taking full advantage of Brendon’s roommate’s absence. He sucks around her clit just like her nipple, a few short staccato bursts followed by long, drawn-out pulls. He moves his tongue gently the whole time to stimulate her further.

Both of her hands are tangled in his hair, tugging hard when he moves from sucking on her clit to licking across her entrance. He licks across the opening in broad strokes before his tongue enters her, rubbing her clit with his thumb the whole time. He waits until her thighs are clenched tight around his head, and she’s bucking up against his mouth before he slips two fingers inside to rub over her g-spot.

“B, stop, I’m gonna fucking come!” She shrieks.

He lifts his head without slowing his fingers, “You don’t wanna come?”

“Want you to be inside me when I do. Inside me for real, not just fingers,” Sara pants, trying hard to distract herself from her building arousal.

As much as Brendon’s disappointed that Sara won’t come on his face, after all, he’s been hard for over an hour now, and he would love to get out of his restrictive jeans and get a little more stimulation than rubbing himself against the bed.

He crawls out of bed and peels his shirt off. Now it’s Sarah’s turn to marvel at her lover. His cheeks and chest are flushed a deep pink from the exertion and arousal, his face is shiny with spit and her juices, and his cock is tenting the material of his pants.

Sara strokes over herself lazily, it’s not nearly as good as Brendon, but it’s something to take the edge off while she watches Brendon unbuckle his belt to strip his pants off. He’s moving slowly on purpose. He always did love to put on a show.

Once he’s down to his black boxer-briefs, he asks Sara where she put the condoms when she came in.

“B, I love that you’re so distracted by me, but the bag is right next to you on the nightstand,” she answers.

“Hey, I’m not wearing my glasses. That’s not fair,” Brendon replies softly. He turns and opens the plastic bag with the drugstore logo on the front. Sara laughs when his eyes visibly widen. “Should I be scared?” He asks, holding up a large vibrating dildo.

Sara laughs. “No, love, I just wanted to get some toys I could leave at your place,” she answers as he pulls out a bullet vibe, two different types of lube, a cock ring, massage oils, whipped cream, a multi-pack of condoms, and yes, gum from the checkout stand.

“...I may have gotten a little carried away in the sexual wellness aisle,” she admits.

Brendon’s eyes are still the size of saucers, “God, no kidding, babe, this is all incredible,” he says, stripping off his boxers and opening the box of condoms to tear a packet open with his teeth. It’s a bad habit, and usually, Sara would scold him, but she’s so worked up that she spreads her legs in anticipation anyway. Her mouth goes dry while he strokes himself with lube before he rolls the condom on.

He finally, finally, finally settles over her. “Is this position okay?” he asks.

“It’s perfect, baby; I love getting to see your face when you push into me,” she answers, whining as he drags his cock across her opening.

That’s good enough for Brendon. He rocks forward into her slowly, partly because he’s a tease but partly because he wants this to last as long as possible. After pushing in deep to rub back and forth across her g-spot, he starts thrusting in earnest, relishing her moans and pants.

“Oh B, you feel so good,” she cries out.

“You feel even better, love. Squeezing so nicely around me. So tight and wet,” he says.

Sara scratches down his back in sheer bliss. Brendon’s rhythm is steady, but he’s moving just slowly enough that they can both relish every thrust without feeling overly needy or impatient. She pushes her thighs together to feel him even better inside her.

His thrusts falter for a second, and he chokes out a gasp. “Love you, love feeling you,” he groans, “but it’s been nearly a month since we last had sex, babygirl. If you keep that up, I am going to come.”

She relaxes her thighs just a little bit. “God, I love how sensitive you are right now, babe, responding to my every touch so much. I love you collected and composed too, but it’s such a treat having you so weak for me,” she marvels, stroking the back of his neck.

A shiver goes down his whole spine, and he devotes all of his energy to not coming. “I haven’t touched myself since we last had sex,” he admits, “I figured if my sweet girl couldn’t get off, I couldn’t either. It’s been such a challenge, but fuck, it was worth it. I’m so on edge for you.”

She tightens around him, moving her hand to touch her clit. “Shit, Brendon, that’s so fucking hot. I’m just thinking about you late at night, hard and aching thinking about me, but controlling yourself so it could be all the better when we finally reunited. Did you ever cheat? Did you ever jack yourself but force yourself to pull away right before you came to roll over and go to sleep? God, I bet you had so many dirty dreams. Bet you woke up humping a pillow because your body needed to get off so bad. Bet you’d struggle to hide your hard-on in public when your mind wandered even just a little. Such a dirty needy boy, but so so good for me, aren’t you?” she pants out, squeezing tighter as she talks.

He laughs, “You know me so well, sweetheart, all of the above is true. My roommate was thrilled to have all the hot water for himself this month because… I took a lot of cold showers. I’ll leave it at that. Now, if you don’t mind, I believe you’ve taken my job,” he says, replacing her hand on her clit with his own.

Sara falls back and goes rigid, crying out. He circles his thumb faster as the pace of his thrusts picks up. “I’m gonna come!” She shouts.

“Do it, come on me,” Brendon whispers.

Sara contracts around him, shrieking and convulsing as she comes on him before melting back onto the bed.

Brendon leans down to nip at her shoulder and then kiss her lips. “Good, baby?”

She nods, eyes closed and still panting hard.

“I’ll give you a second,” he murmurs, mostly to himself before pulling out and collapsing down next to her. He strokes over himself while he waits for her to come back down to earth, still rock hard.

“Shit, B, you still haven’t come,” she finally realizes, “do you want me to blow you?”

His cock twitches at the thought.

“Or I could ride you? Let you watch my tits bounce as I fuck you?” She suggests.

“That one wanna be back in that perfect cunt.”

Sara moves to straddle him, rubbing her clit against his tummy and kissing him before moving back to settle on him for real. She lets him thrust up into her a couple of times before moving herself, relishing the way his muscles tense under his flushed skin.

Brendon loves being ridden. He wouldn’t say it’s his favorite position, but it’s up there. It’s even better when Sara takes her bra off, as pretty as it is, and he gets to see her entire naked body. She gets herself at the perfect angle and rides him as hard as she can.

“I’m really not going to last long,” he warns.

Sara tangles her hands back in his hair just like he loves. She’s pulling out all the stops to get him to come. “God, B, me neither, I didn’t think I had it in me, but I’m right back on the edge. Just rub my clit, and I’ll come.”

He moves his hands from her ass to touch her clit.

She shudders, “B, I’m gonna come!”

“Me too,” he grunts out, “do you want me to pull out?”

“No, wanna feel your hot come inside me, even with the condom,” she answers before coming again. Even harder this time as waves of pleasure roll through her entire body.

The rapid contractions around his cock trigger his own orgasm, and his entire head goes blank as he gets lost in the sensation. Sara collapses and situates herself in his arms just as they’re both starting to come down.

He moves, but she stops him. “Honey, I’ve gotta,” he starts, but she whines and shakes her head, knowing exactly where he’s going, “I’ve gotta pull out so we can clean up and eat dinner. Round two after Italian?”

She finally nods but wraps her legs tighter against him anyway, “just two more minutes. Then we can go be romantic.”

***

“Sara, sweetheart, food’s almost here,” he whispers thirty minutes later. He’s wearing pajama pants with no shirt, and his torso’s still wet from the shower he took to rinse off. “Do you wanna go get yourself cleaned up while I set up the coffee table to eat?” He asks.

Sara shakes her head, “I get clingy and needy after sex-”

Brendon cracks a grin because he knows this, of course.

“So you’re stuck with me for the next couple of hours,” she finishes.

“Mm, that’s fine with me, babe. I just want you to be comfortable,” he responds, kissing her forehead.

She moves up into the kiss and realizes that a shower might be nice after all, “Actually, I am a little sticky. Come into the bathroom with me?”

“Anything you want, love,” he says, scooping her up and carrying her to the shower.

He turns the water on for her and then goes to sit on the counter while she rubs off the sweat under the spray. “B?” She calls.

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s nothing fancy, but when you rubbed my clit in little circles, I nearly died on the spot. Normally when I’m alone, I just stroke back and forth, but god, it felt so good to feel something new,” she says. Brendon doesn’t respond immediately. “B?” She calls back timidly, shy now. “B?”

She’s getting worried that he left without her hearing, so she pulls back the shower curtain and has to choke back a moan. Brendon’s still sitting on the counter, his head tipped back on the mirror, palming over himself through his PJ pants.

“God, Sara, sorry, I just love hearing how I make you feel, and I couldn’t help it,” he tells her.

Sara shuts the water off and walks across the bathroom to Brendon, paying no mind to how she’s dripping all over the tile. She yanks him up to his feet and drops to her knees on the padded bathmat in front of the sink. She pulls his pants down just enough- no underwear, she observes without surprise- and takes him in her mouth, getting him slick enough that she can stroke him to total hardness with her hand. Once he’s fully hard, she takes him back in her mouth and sucks hard, making his knees tremble. She bobs her head up and down, stroking him with her hand when she doesn’t have his whole length in her mouth.

He’s bracing himself against the counter to stay upright and not buck into her mouth. She moves down to just stimulate the tip while quickly stroking over the rest of him.

“Can you come for me? Food is going to be here any minute,” she says, looking up at him with big eyes.

“You playing with yourself down there, baby? Getting all wet from sucking me off?” He asks, the dirty talk getting him closer to the edge.

“Oh, you know it, gets me so hot, making you feel good. I wish I had one of my new toys, though,” she pouts before licking his dick again.

Brendon gropes behind himself blindly, trying to find… well. It’s not a vibrator, but it does, well, vibrate, he thinks, hitting the button on his electric toothbrush. He hands it to Sara, who puts it between her legs without hesitation, pressing it against her clit.

She goes weak, moaning a buzzy hum over his cock while she sucks. She knows he’s close by the way his balls are drawing into his body, so she goes ahead and lets herself go. Tightening the pressure around his cock.

“Shit, babe, I’m gonna come,” he warns, hips bucking. “Can I come in your mouth or…?”

She holds up a thumbs up, and he comes, most of it staying in her mouth, but some ends up dripping down her chin. She swallows, and Brendon hands her a wad of toilet paper to wipe off the rest with.

He tucks himself back into his pants and then helps her back to her feet.

“Can I have my toothbrush back, love?” He requests softly.

Sara blushes and takes the still-vibrating toothbrush out from between her legs, “Sorry, I forgot I still had that.”

“No worries,” he responds with a soft chuckle, kissing her forehead. He takes the toothbrush and turns it off before rinsing it off under the sink. “Gosh, you did a number on this thing. It’s soaked,” he marvels, “My perfect messy girl.”

Just then, there’s a knock at the door. “Perfect timing, must be the food. I’ll deal with that while you get dressed?” He suggests, and she nods, still a little dazed from the orgasm. Well, orgasms, plural.

She goes back to his room, where she stashed her bag and rummages through it for her pink silk slip nightgown. It’s super simple, just spaghetti straps with a straight-across neckline and then deep pink fabric straight down to just below her ass, but Brendon loves it. She suspects it’s just because she can’t move very much without flashing her butt, but he insists that the slip itself is gorgeous.

As she’s getting dressed, she hears the door open and Brendon apologizing for his relative state of undress, saying he just got out of the shower. Brendon’s naked more often than he’s clothed, so Sara just shrugs it off until she hears a giggle and flirting coming from the delivery girl.

Brendon stammers out that he has a girlfriend, but he’s flattered, but that doesn’t seem to be deterring the delivery girl, who makes an extra point to linger her hand on Brendon’s as she hands him the food. Sara strides out of his bedroom, “Hey, B, have you seen my panties? I can’t find them in your bed or your bathroom or the kitchen or the sofa, so I wonder if I left them in your pocket during our multiple rounds of lovemaking,” She calls before pretending to spot him and the girl for the first time by the door. She scootches in next to him and kisses him on the cheek, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on her face. “My apologies, didn’t know you had a guest,” she lies, shooting death beams at the delivery girl whose hand is on Brendon’s bicep. The girl retracts her hand, and Sara grabs a twenty-dollar bill from her wallet on the doorside table to tip her. Sara knows Brendon would’ve already tipped her on the website, but this more of a ‘please don’t touch my boyfriend without his consent tip’ than a ‘thank you for your work tip.’ “Have a nice day, ma’am,” Sara tells her, shutting the door.

Brendon smirks, but there’s a weariness behind it, “Way to save the day, baby. Getting possessive?”

“No, I love it when others check you out. Just validates how hot I am for you. You just sounded like you do when you get overwhelmed at the grocery store, and I figured you were feeling a little claustrophobic,” she explains.

Brendon nods. “I don’t mind a flirt, but she was getting way too handsy. And even then, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world; I just felt a little vulnerable being shirtless and all. She probably just wanted a big tip. I bet that works for her a lot. And y’know, I probably shouldn’t have been shirtless at all. If I was in a restaurant, they’d have every right to kick me out, so really, I’m lucky she didn’t blacklist my address,” he rambles, turning to get plates and silverware from the kitchen.

Sara touches his shoulder and grabs the bags of food from him. “Hey, B, you don’t need to justify your feelings, okay? I get it; she was in your space. Both your personal space by touching you and your physical area by being near your home. But it’s sweet of you to give her the benefit of the doubt. You’re probably right, I would guess that works with nine out of ten guys; she was cute. And hey, I gave her a nice tip to get her to go away, so it worked on us too.”

“And you got to brag to a stranger about our hot sex life, so it really did all work out in the end,” Brendon half-jokes, and she’s happy to observe that any panic seems to have left his body.

“Mhm, my favorite hobby. Maybe we should order dessert, and I can change into something even more slutty. This shows my ass so nicely, but my chest is totally covered,” she suggests, and he cracks a real smile for her. “Seriously though, you’re totally good?”

“Yes, ma’am, everything’s perfect,” he responds, and he’s telling the truth.

“Good, let me set up dinner then. You go relax on the sofa,” she orders.

Brendon goes to sit on the couch, knowing better than to deny a direct request. Sara plates the food and brings it to the now dim living room, where Brendon’s lit three candles in the center of the table.

“Awww, how romantic,” she praises, settling against Brendon with their food.

“I had more romance planned, I promise, I just weighed my options, and I cared more about snuggling with my girl than trying to overdo it on decorating the living room,” Brendon responds. “I do still have wine in the fridge if you want that?”

She twists around to kiss him. “The romance level is perfect. Consider me totally romanced. I think I’ll wait on the wine until later if that’s okay? It’ll make me sleepy, and I’m still interested in a round two,” she says, resting her hand against Brendon’s thigh.

“Whatever you want is fine with me, love,” he says, sighing contentedly.

***

“You’re falling asleep, babygirl.”

“Am not.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

Brendon smiles, “Do you wanna keep watching the movie, or do you wanna go to bed? If you’re sleepy, that’s fine, but we’ve gotta move to the bedroom then,” he murmurs.

Sara moves off the couch and stretches, turning on the light. “I’m not even tired; I took a nap earlier. It’s just the dim lighting and carb surplus. C’mon, let’s keep watching, it’s only 10 and we’re not even to the, ‘paint me like one of your French girls’ scene.”

“Okay, if you insist, then we’ll soldier on. I’ll get dessert,” he agrees, getting up to head to the kitchen.

“Ooo what’s for dessert?” she asks.

“Cannoli and coffee,” he responds.

Sara moans playfully. “God, Brendon, I’m so turned on right now.”

Brendon rolls his eyes. “I’ll try not to take offense that you’re more attracted to sweets than me.”

Sara wraps her arms around his waist from behind him. “I’d choose you over cannoli any day. Someone could offer me a thousand cannoli and I’d scoff in their face and then go kiss all over you. I love you, babe. Thank you for a great date night,” she says before spinning him around to kiss him.

“I love you too,” Brendon whispers against her lips. “Tonight was wonderful, and I owe it all to you.”

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Lovers By Chance, Goth By Choice | Snape x OC

{parody fic, based on my immortal :p another thing I found deep in my google drive. thought it deserved to see the light of day. one of my best friends requested this while intoxicated and I just had to write it. don’t take it too seriously lol} 

Warnings: Smexy Themes uwu

Time/Era: Lightning era :)

Word Count: 1.1k shes long ^.^ like snapes dick

Summary: After Arvil Willow Way Urie gets put into detention by Professor Snape, things happen and no one sees it happen </3

Request: Please write a fic where snape kisses me in front Of everyone and doesn’t care who sees. I have like three names and i am GOTH. 

A/N: Rawr i <3 prof snape SM! Thx for the request </3 enjoy babey!!!!! WEEEEEEEE

masterlist

Hi. My name is Avril Willow Way Urie and I am goth, incase you couldn’t tell. I LOVE panic! at the disco, Brendon Urie is basically my husband. I’ not related to him no matter how similar our names are but I really wish we were because hes the sexiest man I have ever seen in my life. Anyway, I have short black hair that is cut uneven because it is CURLY and it doesn’t matter. The uneven cut represents my chaotic emotions. You wouldn’t understand them. I am gothic, and NOT a prep. If you call me a prep I will get very angry and flip you off everytime I see you. I love fishnets, like I am wearing today. Today I am wearing a ripped mayday parade shirt with a skirt that has planets all over them. I wear planets because i like space and i am SMART!!!!!!!!1 I have my big platform boots with ripped red fishnets under them. My eyeliner is smudged all over my eyes from crying. I am EMOTIONAL that is why i am emo. My nails are long and sharp just like draco likes. Did I mention I’m dating draco malfoy? Aka the HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE besides brendon urie. (A/N: If you don’t like panic! You are a PREPZ and I dont lik u)

“Miss. Way-Urie I will not have someone talk to me like this. Detention tonight at 8!” Professor Snape screams at the top of his lungs. 

“Omg wtf??? I’m just talking to my super sexy boyfriend Draco! What are you? Jealous?” I smirk, tucking a jagged piece of hair behind my pierced ears. I have 8 piercings in each ear and my tongue also has a stud in it. 

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS!” Prof snape started crying making his black liquid eyeliner drip down his depressed face. Maybe he was emo like me. Prof are NOT emo tho so idk. My face grew sad and I started crying. This made draco angry. 

Draco was wearing a bleach tie died (A/N: get it? Died because im goffick) MCR shirt and acid washed jeans that were half black and half neon pink. Boyz can wear pink, you kno. It’s ok he’s just very in-touch with his emotions. His hair was pulled into big spikes on top of his head n they were died blue. He wore his red contax which made him luok even more goth.

“DONT SPEAK To MY SUPER SMEXY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT YOU TOE!!!!!” DRACO sobs, standing up and pushing me behind him. My big platform leather boots jingled and i almost tripped. 

“DRACO YOU PUSHED ME!” I gasped and started crying harder. Big black striped of makeup stroleld down my face like a galaxy. Im like space remember lol

“I”M SORRY BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” Draco sprinted out of the room but left his chain on the desk. I grabbed it with my long nails and dashed after him. I fount him gasping for air against the piller. 

Herminny Granger came up and shoved me to the ground. She giggled and ran away. Fucking prepz. I put my middle finger up at her. 

~Time skipz to tonight lol~

“I have to go, draco” I gasped, looking depressed. 

“What? Are you inliove with professor snap or something?” draco weaped while singing “im not okay” my mcr. 

“So what if i am?” i said sneakily, closing my closet. I wore a big poofy dress with ripped black material and corset stuff on the front and back. My lips adorned blood read lipstick and my eyes were dead on the inside. I hummed dear maria count me in as i got dressed. Draco turned around so he wouldnt see me change because that is PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pushed draco over so he hit the floor and walked into prof snap’s office. 

“SNAPEY!” I yelled. He was in the corner looking sad and depressed, watching rain fall from the heavens. 

“Oh. hello there.” he ejaculated as his long nose pointed in my direction and i felt tears wheel in my eyes. He stood and pulled off his cloak to reveal a fall out boy t shirt and ripped skinny jeans with doc martens and chains and zippers everywhere. 

I GASPED “YOURE GOFFICK???????” I was stunned and he strutted over, shaking his thick, juicy, greasy ass. 

“Yes, and emo and goth and punk and and alt and and indie and underground and a soundcloud rapper and in love with you.” He towards over my small frame and looked into my dark black and silver with small golden flecks orbs. I gasped and almost fainted. 

“What about draco?” my voice shaked as he started singing death of a bachelor by my favorite band, the hot panic1

“Forget about that dog poop bag. You are all i need please marry me and become Avril Willow Way Urie Snape.” His mouth covered mine and i moaned into his lips. His tongue fought mine for dominance and his long ring covered hand found my ass. I gasped as he squeezed me and looked at his neck. 

“Is that a stick and poke of a safety pin snapey?” I twirl his long, emo black, greesy hair inbetween my fingers. 

“It symbolizes my hate for the patriarchy and my love for you” 

JUST THEN DRACO WALKED IN AND PUNCHED SNAPE

“SHES MINE GRANDPA!” he yelled, throwing me over his shoulder! I moaned at the feeling and sobbed to be let down. He set me down and looked into my dead orbs with his blood red orbs. He was sobbing

“Snapes your gpa?” i groaned

“No” draco said back

“Oh” i winked

“But youre still mine” draco twerked 

“No thanks. I love snap now”

Draco screamed and ran into the wall while hermiomy recorded and ronuld farted in response. Everyone in the hall started laughing. 

“NO STOP I LOVE HIM!” I wheezed, throwing myself onto the floor in a big heap

Then I stood up and decided i had to go. The end

[loverontheleft]

The Honeymoon Ones (15)

AU with PFTW!B. Fluff and smut. Parts 1-14 on my Masterlist.

Brendon x reader. Warnings: So...we’ve (@beautiful-tragic-fallout) created a points system for smut.

0.25 for handjob

0.25 for fingering

0.5 for blowing him

0.5 for going down on her

0.75-1.0 for sex, vanilla

1.5-2.0 for sex, advanced positions

3.0 for bondage, spanking, other kinks, or public sex.

This chapter has a score of 2.75 (I’m adding 1 point for discussion of public sex), along with dirty talk, general language, and discussion/planning of condomless sex. Be smarter than them.

Word count: 1.9k

-||-

“I’ll have you know,” Brendon murmurs in your ear as he rolls over on top of you the next morning, “that you are the best woman I have ever known, you are so insanely sexy, and I am so fucking happy to be with you.”

You raise an eyebrow, grinning at him sleepily. “Naked in bed?”

He rolls his eyes and lets out a huff of a breath in mock exasperation as he flicks your thigh. The affection is clear and you cuddle into his arms as he holds them out to you. “No, Ko. I mean, yes, obviously, naked in bed...but in general. Waking up with you. Spending my days with you. Spending my nights with you. Makes me so excited to get you home and do real life together too. Don’t wanna rush our time here, because this is amazing, but...real, everyday life with you. I want it. Want you.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your eyes well up and you press your face into his neck, sniffling a little. “Baby?” Brendon sounds worried and you take a shuddering breath as he strokes his hands down your back. “Honey, what is it?”

“I just worried this was - you were just - for the trip.” Your voice is small and ends in a sad gasp, and Brendon wraps his arms around you tightly, murmuring into your hair.

“Ko, did I or did I not ask you to be my girl last night?” You mumble that he did, and you can feel his lips curve into a smile. “Right. And what did you say?”

“Yes.” The word is a squeak and Brendon lifts you up so you’re meeting his eyes.

“Did you mean it?” He’s serious, searching your face, and you nod. “Good. Because I meant it too. Don’t doubt my intentions, baby. You’re my girl, for as long as you’ll have me. It may have taken me some time to get it right, and there were some detours along the way, but now that we’ve figured it out, I don’t intend to walk away.”

His thumb is brushing over your lips and up to your cheek, and the look in his eyes is so soft and sweet that all you can do is fling your arms around his neck and kiss him fiercely. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips, and he wastes no time telling you the same.

“Breakfast should be here any minute,” he tells you, groaning as you push him onto his back and press needy, open-mouthed kisses down his neck and over his chest, moving steadily lower. “Ko, sweetheart, you don’t have to - oh my god,” he moans when your lips close around his cock, suckling to get him fully hard. “Baby, you’re so good at this - fuck, yes baby, just like that.” His voice is a soft sigh and you purr in approval when he slides down the mattress to make it easier for you.

One of his hands lands gently on the top of your head, and you meet his eyes, nodding a little. He groans your name again, gasping as he guides your mouth lower. “You’re such a good girl,” Brendon declares. “You are such a good girl for me.”

You bask in his praise, letting your tongue explore the length of his cock while your mouth slides teasingly over him. You love how he fills your mouth, sliding down the back of your throat when you’ve taken him entirely. You love how his hips rock as if he needs more of your mouth the same way you need more of his dick, so you’ve learned on the spot how to adjust your breathing and swallow him down. He loves it. He loves how you lick the tip of his cock all over and urgently stroke him into your mouth even more though. You love the desperate cry that falls from his lips when you suck at the tip, blinking up at him sweetly.

“Fucking shit baby, you’re gonna make me come,” Brendon hisses, back arching and fingers tugging at your hair. “You’re so damn good at sucking my cock; you’re gonna make me come in your mouth.”

The knock on the door startles you both, but Brendon regains control and calls out that they can leave the tray. He’s got both hands in your hair, thumbs framing your jawline, gasping as you hum around him. He instinctively thrusts into your mouth, groaning an apology when you gag a little. “Fuck, baby I’m so sorry - are you okay? Sweetheart, you don’t have to —”

“I didn’t mind, B. Just wasn’t ready. I’m good, promise.” You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and slide up to nuzzle his shoulder. “How do you want to come?”

“Oh fuck, baby, I just need to come. You’ll be a good girl and make me come?” He’s got his fist wrapped around his cock, pumping slowly. “I need you, sweetheart. I need you to make me come.” You sling a leg over his waist before wiggling back onto his dick.

“Jesus,” Brendon groans, wrapping an arm around you and guiding his cock into you. “My girl has the best pussy. So tight, so wet; fuck yes, let me bury my dick in this perfect cunt.”

“Bren,” you gasp, tightening around him at his words. “Nipples - clit - please!” He nods and slides two fingers into your mouth, telling you to be good and get his fingers nice and slick. You suck greedily, crying out in pleasure when his thumb from his other hand begins rubbing delicate figure-eights over your clit. “Don’t come,” you finally whisper as he slips his fingers from your mouth.

“What?” Brendon groans the word, still thrusting into you urgently. “Baby, no — I gotta. I gotta come, please.”

“You will,” you assure him, bending over to caress his face and press a soft kiss to his parted lips. “You will, B. But not yet.” He makes the saddest, most desperate sound and you kiss him again, letting your tongue tease his as you clutch his shoulders. Then it hits you. You were so desperate for his cock that you didn’t even— “Brendon,” you murmur against his mouth, trying not to let the panic lace your words. “We’re not using a condom right now.”

His thrusts falter, his eyes go wide, and you slide off of him, letting your legs splay to either side. You rest your head on his chest and he can feel you trembling. “Ko, sweetheart — are you okay? It’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” he soothes. You nod against him and he wraps you up in a hug. “It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m so sorry, Ko. I should’ve realized — I just got carried away. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you reassure him. “Just — I got carried away too.” You press closer, letting out a shaky breath. “I feel like such a tease,” you admit. Brendon chuckles a little and nuzzles the top of your head. “I really did plan on letting you…until I realized…”

“I know, baby. I know. You’re my good girl, huh?” You nod meekly, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I know you didn’t mean to tease me like that. But I’ll admit, I’m kinda into it.” You lift your head to give him a questioning stare. “No really, I am! Delaying the moment is only going to make it that much better.”

You curl into his side and palm over his cock, still hard and resting heavy against his stomach. He presses his hips up, sighing in pleasure when you rub your thumb over the tip. “I could — if you wanted to come in my mouth,” you offer, and you watch him think about it and feel his cock twitch under your hand.

“Think I wanna wait til I can be in that gorgeous pussy,” Brendon finally decides, wrapping his hand over yours so you’re stroking him together slowly. “Really tease myself. You know we’re out of condoms?”

The question slams into you and you groan in frustration, falling onto your back. “Fuck,” you whine, pulling the pillow down over your face. “Fuck, we need more. Need. More.”

Brendon laughs softly, nudging the pillow out of the way so he can stroke your cheek. “Well, we do have that wine tasting today. We can always stop on our way back at a drugstore.” You can feel the smile on your face as you nod eagerly. “Sounds like a plan. Breakfast then, Ko?”

He slides from the bed and you watch in awe as he crosses to the door, gloriously naked. The sun is shining in from the balcony and his body glows with the natural light. You want to haul him back into bed, kiss every inch of him, and say fuck the condoms, but you know it’s not a good idea, as fun as it would be.

So you’re surprised when, as Brendon clambers back onto the bed with the breakfast tray, you pull him down for a long, heated kiss and whisper against his lips, “just because you can’t come in me doesn’t mean you can’t fuck me.”

He’s surprised too, and you bite your lip. “I just mean...as long as you don’t actually — until we get condoms, right?” You can feel yourself blushing and Brendon is still staring at you. “It could be fun. Drag out the tease. Or - nevermind, forget I said anything.” You shove a croissant into your mouth and try to disappear into the bed.

“Ko, that is so fucking hot. I — are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable…” Brendon’s looking at you seriously and you meet his eyes again. “We’re not sixteen; we know the pull-out method is not valid birth control.” You laugh at this, sliding the tray off of his lap and straddling him.

“No, you’re right. But this week isn’t…the risk is practically zero for that and I’m on the pill anyway so…” you’re toying with the hair at the base of his neck, and he relaxes under your touch. He’s still half-hard, and you think about rolling down against him.

“If you’re sure, then I’m not going to say no. You’re my girl and I want to keep you safe. But I’d be lying if the idea of teasing myself all day, getting to fuck you out there, even for just a minute or two, where anyone could—” Brendon stops talking, realizing that you never said anything about being out in public. “I’m sorry, I thought — you didn’t mean…nevermind.”

It’s your turn to stare at him and the wheels are turning in your head. “That could be really hot,” you agree. He’s tense, listening as you take a deep breath and consider. “I’d need to wear a dress. I didn’t exactly mean that when I offered — but now I do mean it. Just enough to keep you hard and needing to come all day...sneak off somewhere, or find a deserted alley, or…” you're still musing over the possibilities when you kiss him longingly. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Brendon sounds a little stunned, but you just tug his hair and drag your nails down his chest, whispering it again into the embrace. “Fuck yes,” he groans, nudging the tray over further so he can roll you over and press you down into the mattress. “Fuck yes, you’re incredible.”

[vengeancevixen]

Oh, my!

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Not Superficial - Brendon Urie x Reader

Request: , I was wondering if you could do a Brendon Urie x reader where the reader used to go to schol with Brendon and she liked him but he didn’t like her back because she used to be nerdy, wearing glasses, braces, acne etc. But now she’s like a smoking hot chick and he realizes what he missed out and they get together in the end? And the way they meet is she actually went to the concert and she had VIP passes so they meet backstage and all. Please and thank you. Can’t wait to see what you write. Summary: The Reader and Brendon went to school together, now they meet again at one of his concerts. Reader: female Word count: 1 178 A/N: I’m gonna say it upfront: I feel uncomfortable with this request. The idea that it takes a complete change of looks to please someone is not a message I want to send. Please remember, and I mean this not only for girls, but for boys and everyone else too, if someone rejects you because of your looks, it’s their loss, as painful as it is in that moment. That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to actively change stuff about yourself that you don’t like, but you shouldn’t do it for anybody but yourself.

Backstage was a lot more hectic and cramped than you had imagined. It had been pure chance that your best friend had managed to get some of the super rare backstage VIP tickets, and now you were nervously waiting to meet the band.

Over the last months everyone, who had not yet known Panic! at the Disco, had been bombarded with the new hits that were playing on every radio station. But you had known Panic! since the beginning, hell even longer, considering Panic! now equaled Brendon Urie.

Brendon and you had been to school together. The dorky boy had always held a special place in your heart, even before all the music and touring and money and fame. But at the same time you knew that while you had spent your time in high school thinking about him all the time, he probably had no idea who you were. Honestly, sometimes you felt like you did not even recognise yourself anymore.

Back then you had had the worst skin problems, the kind that not even the doctors were able to help you with. That alone had been enough for most of your classmates to stay far away from you, and the thick glasses, and the braces had not made you feel any better. Of course, as if fate had wanted to play a joke on you, your skin had gotten better almost as soon as you had left school, and because you had still grown a little, your eyes had gotten better too. Usually you still wore glasses, but for the concert tonight you had been too scared to lose them between all the dancing people, so you had put in contacts instead.

Nervously you tucked at your black shirt. While sometimes you felt like your story resembled the one of the ugly duckling, you still did not feel like you had turned into a majestic swan. Next to your best friend you were still the grey, little mouse, but if you were honest, you did not want it any other way. That did not mean though that you had not made sure to feel comfy, and maybe even a little sexy tonight. The simple black shirt nicely hugged your body, and the ripped jeans perfectly contrasted your red converse. Around your neck dangled a short necklace with a little moon on it, and your hair was, while appropriate for jumping and dancing around, styled with a little hair pin with a red crystal on it.

You were so deep in thoughts, thinking back to the time in school, how your seventeen years old self would have gotten a shock if she had seen how much would change for her that you did not even notice that the band had come into the room, in which you had been waiting along with a few other fans.

Only when your friend tucked at your wrist, you snapped back into reality.

Mike was the first one to talk to you, and with a wide grin he signed your ticket, before he moved on. Nicole was next. You talked to her for a while, and were amazed by how kind she was. Just when she started searching for her phone to show you a picture of her dog, Dan walked up.

“No, no, no,” he interrupted, “you’re not gonna start showing any pictures of dogs. Once she starts,” he turned to you, “she will not stop.”

With a wide grin he wrapped his arm around Nicole’s shoulder, who smiled apologetically.

“Want us to sign something?”

Quickly you handed them your ticket for them to sign as well, and they moved on to the next fans.

That meant the only one you had not talked to yet was Brendon. Curiously you looked around the room, and found that he was just saying good bye to a group of girls. When he spotted you at the other end of the room, he looked surprised but immediately walked over.

“(y/n), is that you,” he asked with a wide grin.

“Uhm, yeah, didn’t think you’d remember me,” you smiled back slightly embarrassed.

“Man, it’s been ages!”

Before you even knew what was happening, Brendon had pulled you in for a hug, which you returned confused.

“I have to admit, I almost wouldn’t have recognized you. Where are your glasses,” he asked, taking a good look at you.

“Contacts,” you answered quickly, not trusting your voice to say anything longer.

Damn, you really were not the only one who had changed over the years. Brendon had definitely grown up too, and as stupid as it made you feel, you really had to admit that he was incredibly attractive now.

“Damn, I loved the glasses,” Brendon almost looked a bit disappointed.

“Excuse me, what?”

Not sure if you had understood him correctly, you looked at him wide eyed.

“Your glasses, they were super cute! It’s a shame you don’t wear them anymore.”

“I do, just not for concerts,” you answered, not sure how you had gone from worrying about him not recognising you, to him complaining about the lack of your glasses, “if that’s any consolation for you.”

“Oh, trust me it is,” he laughed, “listen, I think we’re running out of time here, but… I’m in the city for a while, maybe… would you like to meet up sometime? Catch up and all?”

“Sure, it’s just-“

“Oh shit, you don’t have a boyfriend do you? Or someone? Aw man, of course you do.”

Wide eyed you watched as Brendon’s expression went from excited puppy to disappointed.

“No, I don’t but-“

“You don’t?”

“No, I’m not in a relationship,” you laughed quietly, “I just didn’t think you would even know who I am.”

“Not know- not know who you are? (Y/n), I had the biggest fucking crush on you in school, seriously. Just absolutely no courage to ask you out! Don’t think that now that I do have more confidence I’m gonna let that opportunity slip through my fingers!”

“You-“

Your mind was still hung up on the part where Brendon had said that he once had a crush on you, but before you managed to stutter out a question, a man announced that the time was up, and the band needed to get ready to go on stage.

“Here-“ Brendon pulled a laminated card out of his pocked, that granted him entry to all the backstage areas. “Meet me here again after the show, I’ll tell the guys to let you in, okay?”

“Brendon, come one! Time to go!”

One of the security guards shot him an unnerved glance.

“Take this, see you later.”

Quickly he pressed the backstage pass into your hand, making sure to close your fingers around it, and gave you a quick good bye hug, but not without quickly kissing your cheek.

“Have fun,” he waved as he ran out of the room, following his band mates, leaving you standing there, completely dumbfounded, still holding the backstage pass. You could have sworn there was a dust of pink on his cheeks.

~*~*~*~

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes @angelevansfall @rene-royale

[meangirlsx]

So I saw Mean Girls last night and I have some things I wanted to share with you all:

Everyone is hotter in person

Literally everyone

It shouldn’t be possible and yet it is

We know Barrett is a belting queen but HOLY SHIT

She make it looks like it’s easy and she sounds even more amazing live

She’s adorable and hilarious and intimidating all at the same time

Everything about Erika just screams Disney princess

Her voice, her smile, her mannerisms, her personality, everything

Grey accidentally spit in her face at the beginning of the show and she reacted in character like she didn’t want to make him feel bad but she couldn’t not wipe it off

All of the dancing is INCREDIBLE

Every single member of the ensemble puts their whole heart and soul in it

I want their wig master to do my hair every day

Seriously there were so many gorgeous hairstyles and specifically a lot of impressive braids

I wouldn’t mind the costumer dressing me every day, too

Devon was on for Gretchen and she was actual human sunshine

She was so adorable and SO outstanding

Jonalyn is also actual human sunshine

And lowkey she has amazing abs

Becca was on in the ensemble and she is SUCH an incredible dancer

Ixchel was also on and she is totally hilarious

We know Taylor is also a belting queen but HOLY SHIT 2.0

She just wails on her notes and makes it look effortless

And god she embodies Regina so well with the strut and the stage presence and you don’t want to look away

When the Plastics do their slow-mo walk in the mall, Kate pretends to roll her ankle very dramatically and then signals to the audience that she’s fine, all totally still in slow-mo

The cast has said they can see everyone in the audience because the set has so many LED screens

We were in the front row and I can confirm they really do look at you

Kate and I stared at each other for a few moments when she was laying upside down on the floor of Regina’s bedroom and truly I have been blessed

She is lethally funny but also gives Karen a really grounded, authentic feel

The ensemble talks about how their characters have story arcs throughout the show that can change, like one week two characters will be dating and the next week you could see them break up

You can definitely follow these if you’re looking for them

Like Riza’s character, Sophie, had a huge crush on Aaron at the beginning of the show

And I think it was Jonalyn and Brendon who kissed in the school hallway like halfway through the show

They might have tracks on the floor to help guide the desks and other smaller set pieces that roll on and off but the aim is just so impressive

Like someone will just push a couch off toward someone in the wings ready to grab it and they never miss

They also throw so many different props to each other and I know that takes a lot of practice and they will drop them at some point but it’s so coordinated it’s insane

Nothing can prepare you for seeing Sexy Abraham Lincoln and Sexy Corn in person

Or for seeing Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt smack her own ass tbh

Erika and Barrett had a fight with either imaginary swords or light sabers during Revenge Party (at least I think that’s when it was)

Erika puts so much humor and emotion into her little sung narration moments

After the Mathletes try to rap at the talent show and Principal Duvall shuts them down and they’re goofing around for a few more seconds, Nikhil looked at me and quietly said, “Call me” and then did the same to another girl a few seats over

When they’re displaying photos of the disaster ending of “Rockin’ Around the Pole,” it looked like they just photoshopped Devon’s face onto Ashley’s body, but I could be wrong about that

We never really see Regina being friendly and appreciative with Gretchen, but after Cady’s taken over and Gretchen has her reprise of “What’s Wrong With Me?” outside of the school, Cady comes back on and asks if she’s coming with her, and Erika has this sweet smile and fondness in her voice that’s a nice distinction from Regina’s reign

“Whose House Is This?” really is that lit and wild

Kyle’s part in “More Is Better” sounded exactly like it does on the album except for one note at the very end

Kyle gives off such a strong awkward-but-genuinely-sweet sort of Disney prince vibe as Aaron

I want to know how Taylor manages to throw the papers so perfectly in “World Burn” so that they cascade back down because it’s magical

After Regina’s hit by the bus and Janis and Damian are talking to the audience, when they bring up that Regina was technically dead for 15 seconds, Barrett just keeps making faces and gestures as if to say, “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

Also other than those asides to the audience, there’s almost no time that Barrett and Grey have onstage where they’re not touching each other in some way

And it’s almost always really cuddly, like hanging over each other’s shoulders and hugging

Their comedic timing together is truly unparalleled 

Grey really just gives it his all and puts his entire goddamn heart on that stage

And oh my god he really is That Funny

And afterwards, at the stage door, he was just so nice to everyone

You can tell he really loves the fanbase

Kyle was also really nice

Let’s be honest everyone who came out was really nice

After my dad took a picture of me with Kyle and we thanked him, Kyle put on this adorable goofy grin and said, “Thanks, Dad!”

Nikhil asked the name of every single person who wanted to interact with him and he would repeat it back, usually with some nice comment about the name like he just wants everyone to know he appreciates them

Jonalyn was so sweet and she gives off such a Disney princess vibe, too, and you can tell she has so much love to share with everyone

People always scream when a cast member comes out to stage door, but when Devon walked out, it was like twice as loud

Devon’s immediate response was to give this huge smile and wave to everyone and really excitedly shout, “Hi, guys!”

She asked everyone she talked to how they were doing and genuinely wanted to know the answer

Collins and Riza also came out and were really friendly with everyone

That’s everyone who came out to stage door

Seriously the show was phenomenal

Every cast member was stunning and every technical aspect of the show was kind of mind-blowing

I swear I’ve never felt more bi than watching this entire cast

If anyone needs a friend to talk to about this show at any point, I’m officially more obsessed than I already was and am literally always happy to talk about it

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

band rant:

okay, so. i never get involved in band drama nowadays bc like who has the time for that? but i felt like i had to say something on this topic.

today i woke up to being tagged on a fb article about how absolutely disgustingly creepy and inappropriate fans are being at p!atd concerts, when brendon urie does a big walk through the crowd during the song death of a bachelor. the thing that disturbed me the most about the people that lick or kiss him or do other creepy/concerning things (without his consent) is that they’re literally adults in their 20s, or at least that’s what people were assuming in the comments on the article, who should know that this stuff is creepy asf.

like don’t get me wrong, it took me literal years in my teens to realise that my attitude towards brendon and other band members (who I won’t mention by name here, but y’all know who they are by now) was creepy. 

 I’d make jokes about turning up their shows naked under a trench coat or how if i ever lived in the states they’d all have restraining orders out on me bc i’d follow to them to their houses and shit. hell, I even made a joke coming home from a concert once that i wouldn’t wash my hands for a week bc i touched one of the guitarist’s guitars and their hand at a show in 2009 (y’all can all guess who that was). i cried for an hour on the way home, bc i did actually wash my hands after that show. seriously 13/14yo me was a fucking freak when it came to her fave bands. 

but the difference between me and these creepy presumably 20something women who should know better is that i was a kid who didn’t know any better and thought these jokes and other ones i made (like tagging a particular band’s members on my crotch and my very non-existent bewbs (*teenaged sniggering*) at that point, on my myspace with sexual tags) were funny and not creepy. when on the contrary, they were really, really fucking inappropriate/creepy and NOT FUNNY (bc these guys were in their fucking 20s (!!!!!!) and i was a literal goddamn child in high school). 

it wasn’t until I was about 15/16 however, that i realised that i wouldn’t like some random kid turning up on my lawn to scream at me or turning up to my shows naked etc. but younger me thought her fave celebs owed her their time and stuff.... when they don’t. at all. in any sense of the matter. and yes, when I found those mentioned myspace tags at 18 when I went through my MS before it got deleted: I WAS FUCKING MORTIFIED. DO NOT DO THAT SHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. EVER. PERIOD. 

finally, to finish this part of the post, the topic of consent wasn’t as openly discussed 10 years ago, back when i was doing this shit. if it was ever was discussed, it wouldnt’ve been like it is now, and I would’ve been to selfish and young to care about it tbh. bc after all, teenage me was an asshole. it’s only recently, (meaning like 2013), that I started to better assess my behaviours towards famous people (especially my faves/idols/role models) and my ignorance of their obvious non-consent in these scenarios.

the very same goes for these incidents. like, who the fuck wants a completely random stranger (and especially one that should know better by now) randomly kissing them or licking them???? what the fuck????? and then other weird things like intentionally grabbing their face etc??? i don’t fucking care if you’re inebriated (bc it’s a concert and if you’re over 18 in aus or over 21 in the US, why wouldn’t you have a couple of drinks? but this is currently happening on p!atd’s US tour) while you’re at p!atd shows. i don’t fucking care if you think that brendon urie is “my (your) baby! <3 *sigh* 😍😍😍😍😍😍” (girl he ain’t your baby, let me tell ya.) and “oooh my ovaries!!!” 🤤🤤🤤😩😩😩 (idk what constitutes as a swooning emoji lol) or any other weird fangirl nonsense speak shit you want to throw at me, because:

THIS SHIT IS CREEPY ASF. IT. NEEDS. TO. STOP.

like for the women apparently doing this, think about it this way: if some creepo dude in the club starts kissing you when you’ve repeatedly told him to fuck off or whatever.... or just randomly approaches you for a hug; you’d be grossed out and uncomfortable right? now stand in a famous person’s shoes, at their shows meeting fans and having them doing this to you. how do you feel? surely you feel exactly like you do when that creepy fuckwit dude gives you an unsolicited/unconsented kiss at a bar. or when someone touches you in general without your consent.

brendon has literally told the p!atd fan base on multiple fucking occasions about HOW UNCOMFORTABLE, UNEASY AND FUCKING CREEPED OUT HE IS when random fans kiss/lick him or do other creepy fucking shit like grabbing his face without his consent. just because he’s famous, and you love him soooo much XDDDD, or just bc you’ll probably never see him again after the concert or whatever other weird bullshit justification(s) y’all wanna give, DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT.  I REPEAT: THESE REASONS/JUSTIFICATIONS DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT.

he has told you stop again and again. pls just stop. just because brendan urie is famous, it doesn’t mean that his safety and personal space should be violated in this twisted manner. obvs you could say that “hey he should expect this when he interacts with a crowd bc he’s famous. he should just deal with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but why should he? he should not have to deal with this, when he has requested again and again for it to cease. just grow the fuck up and respect his boundaries, yeah?

anyway the point of this rant is that you should fucking respect your faves boundaries, safety and requests to stop any fucking behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable y’all. just be decent human beings yeah?

rant over.

an addendum: if you’re a woman or just generally a person who condemns and considers entitled male fans who scream things like “HEY SEXY WANNA MARRY ME?!” or “I WANNA FUCK YOU!” at female solo acts/female lead singers like idk lady gaga or hayley williams (paramore) etc or any other weird shit that happens to female acts as creepy... but you don’t think literally grabbing someone’s face or even licking your finger before you touch a stranger (which was another weird thing a fan did at a p!atd show).... all because it happened to a man; then take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror and look at your fucking hypocritical bullshit. because this is the exactly the same shit as what happens to female acts.

so in short, you’ll stand in solidarity with female acts and agree that this is unacceptable behaviour (bc feels as a woman, right? and women are TIRED OF THIS Y’ALL), but you won’t stand with a guy when it happens to them? that’s fucked bruh. y’all need to sort out your priorities and shit STAT. learn that this behaviour is fucked up and unacceptable etc from both genders (or all genders if you’re non-binary or trans etc) and on all fronts. again, I’ll assert that you just have to be a fucking decent and normal human being in this instance. and *elle woods voice* is it really, like, that fucking hard?

[vengeancevixen]

Love them 🤍

[iwriteficsnottragediesladies]

Excited

Request: A fluffy one with Beebo and y/n and she’s losing her v to him but he’s like super gentle but super sexy at the same time and it’s cute but also smutty 😭😭😭😭😭😭     

A/N: hopefully you’ll enjoy this nice little smut-fest! There’s one bandom reference, so comment if you find it (Hint: It’s from a youtube video of Brendon). (And no, it’s not drunk history :) )

Kissing Brendon ranged from slow, gentle and passionate kisses, to deep, desperate and hungry make outs. It depended on the mood you were both in.

Tonight was a mixture of both. You were too excited to be gentle, but too careful to be desperate. Brendon was undressing as he straddled your lap, while you stripped down to your underwear, eager to return to your hot kisses. You pull him back down to you until your lips meet.

His hand explores down your body, slipping his fingers underneath the waist band of your panties. He snaps the elastic against your skin and your body reacts to the sensation. His boxers were wet--you had soaked through your underwear a long time ago. He grinds his hips down onto yours and you sigh, rolling your hips in response. He places a hand on your cheek and gives you a sweet kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says quietly in your ear.

In that moment, something suddenly becomes clear: you want to lose your virginity to Brendon.

Now.

He knows you’re a virgin, and you know he is not. He’s never pushed you to do anything until your were absolutely sure. Now you’re sure.

“Bren,” you call to him softly. He slows to a stop. “Do you have a condom?”

“Wha-” he looks down at you, confused, “Um, yeah, yeah, I do, what do you--”

“Go get it,” You interrupt him coolly.

He looks at you like you’re crazy. You lift an eyebrow. He remains frozen.

“Get the condom, Brendon,” you giggle.

“Oh, okay, um,” He started to move, leaning over to the night table and producing a condom from the drawer. He places the packet on the bed and you pull him back down for more kisses. Your hands explore his body and you raise your hips, rolling them against his. He can’t help but exhale shakily, nearly moaning. He becomes lost in touching you again, grabbing one of your breasts and toying with your nipple.

He is placing kisses on your neck and you speak into his ear.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathe. He stops and looks to you.

“Y/n, you d--, I don’t h--,” Brendon stumbled.

“Brendon,” You say slowly and confidently, “I want to have sex with you.”

He just gazes at you. He looks for any uncertainty or anxiety in your eyes, but doesn’t find any.

“Are--are you sure?” He asks cautiously.

“I’m sure,” You nod.

“You’re ready?” He clarified.

“I’m ready,” you reply, a smile appearing on your lips, “And there’s no other person I would rather be with than you.”

“I love you, Y/n,” He said.

“I love you too, Brendon,” You melt.

“You’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” He double checked.

“Yes,” You nod with a gentle smile. You love how much he cares about you and making sure you’re comfortable. It should come as a standard for all men, but it doesn’t. You feel so lucky to have Brendon. You both shimmy out of your remaining clothing.

He opens the condom and strokes it onto himself. You can tell he wants to be completely gentle and careful, but you can also see an excited glint in his eyes. He leaned down and smiled softly.

“Are you sure?” He asked again. You were nervous, but you were definitely ready. When he would go down on you or finger you, you really liked him to be rough, so you’re not exactly sure what to expect from yourself during actual sex.

“Yes,” You reply, but knowing he still was hesitant, “Brendon, please.”

“Okay, tell me if you want me to stop,” He looks deeply into your eyes and you nod. He guides himself in, slowly and gently, watching your expression closely.

You shut your eyes tight at the stretching pain you felt. Brendon quickly checked in with you.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” he asked with concern. You strained a bit and tried to relax yourself.

“Yes,” You replied.

“Do you want me to keep going?” He asked.

“Yes,” You said again.

He started to slide further into you until he was flush against you. You let out a little squeak and bit your lip, eyes slamming shut.

“Y/n,” He asked urgently, “Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head.

He is not at all convinced by your hesitant answer.

“Y/n, look at me,” He directed you softly. You open your eyes and see his concerned expression. “Breathe, sweetheart,” he directs you.

You realize you’ve been holding your breath and exhale. You felt more comfortable now and Brendon is relieved when he sees your face soften. He asks his next question slowly, emphasizing each word. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you reply, exhaling again. He paused, reading your face to make sure you were telling the truth.

“Do you want me to move?“ He asked you.

“Yes,” you repeat.

“I’m going to go slow, okay?” He reassured you. You nod.

He withdrew slowly just a little before sliding back in.

As his hips met yours. you shifted underneath him and gasped with your eyes floating shut. Brendon panicked, ready to pull out completely.

“Y/n? Am I hurting you?!” He asked quickly, “Do you want me to stop?”

Little did he know your reaction was one of intense pleasure. The friction of his stomach hitting your clit while feeling so full was intoxicating. It was a bit of a foreign feeling, but it was so satisfying. You’re not sure what to say to Brendon.

“N-no,” You sigh with a smile playing at your cheeks, “So good.”

Well that turned around in way he didn’t expect it to.

“D-do you want me to keep going?” He asked hesitantly, incredibly turned on to see you so pleased.

“God, yes,” you exhale. Brendon happily complied.

He was still so gentle. He felt a little selfish, enjoying how tight you were. He hears your breath starting to shake.

“Are you still okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” you reply. The look on your face told him all he needed to know anyways.

Your breathing is soon in time with his thrusts. Brendon was placing kisses on your neck. You speak into his ear.

“Bren, faster,” you suggest.

The hair on Brendon’s arm stood straight up.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you?” He murmured to double check.

“Mhm,” You replied.

He began to pick up the pace just a little, wanting to be careful.

“Y-yes,” you stutter. You lay your head back and close your eyes, soaking this new feeling in. “Please yes,” you encouraged.

Brendon sees your euphoric expression and speeds up a bit. It only brightens your face and Brendon is so fucking turned on by how you respond to him. You open your eyes and catch him looking down at you. You comb your fingers through his hair and bring his lips down to yours.

The heat of his breath on your skin caused you grip onto his back. He speeds up at the sensation and you have to emerge from the kiss for air.

“Fuck, yes,” you gasp. Brendon gentle nibbles at your collarbone. “Brendon,” you sigh longingly.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Brendon whispered. The words and the way he growls them makes you want him to fuck you so hard.

“Oh god, Bren,” You can tell you’re losing any and all sense of decency, “Fuck me,”

“Baby,” he says, hesitant to comply with your request.

“Harder,” you plead, “Bren. S-so good.”

The desperation in your voice convinces him. He starts to go a little harder, carefully gauging your response. The change is very well received.

“FUCK,” you call out, “Brendon, yes.”

Brendon can hardly stand you moaning his name like that. It only fuels him further.

“S-shit Y/n,” he grunts.

“Ohhhhh,” you shake. You grab his ass.

“Uh!” Brendon reacts to your touch, “Oh fuck.”

“Harder,” You beg, “Oh fuck me h-harder.”

“Y/n,” Brendon strains.

“Please, yes,” you shouted out. You were so close--you needed it.

Brendon starts doing fast, short thrusts.Your legs latch onto him and it brings him further inside you.

“FUCK right there!” You cried blindly, “Bren!”

“You gonna cum, baby?” He asks, his voice thick, dripping like honey.

“God yes!” You moaned, “Oh god... Oh, I’m gonna cum. Oh--OH!”

You couldn’t help but scream.

“FUCK BRENDON!” Your voice devolves into incoherent moans. Brendon finishes just at the sight of you writhing underneath him.

“Oh fuck! Y/n!” Brendon yelled, “fuck, fuck!”

You feel more warm inside you as you realize Brendon is filling the condom.

Your movements are uncoordinated, hips grinding aimlessly, arms thrown around each other.

Happy sighs painted your breath as you begin a slow spiral down from your high, enjoying every moment. Brendon lays himself down on you in exhaustion before rolling off beside you. He runs his fingers through your hair and brushes it from your face.

He is whispering soft praise. His words become clearer as the static cleared from your ears.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. You did so good. I love you so much, sweetheart, so much.”

“Love you so much, Bren,” You replied. He kisses your forehead and you smile lazily. Jesus Christ, wasn’t the first time for girls supposed to be kind of bad? You’re pretty sure that was the best orgasm you’ve ever had. You sigh. “Shit, you fucked me so good.”

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you giggle, “Goddamn, was that as good for you as it was for me?”

“I’m going to go with ‘fuck yes’“ He replied, His expression faded into seriousness. “It was okay, though? Did I hurt you?” he asked with concern.

“It was more than okay, Bren,” You responded and gave him a devious smile, “And you know that’s how I like it anyway.”

He smirked at you.

“It was better than I could have ever imagined. I’m so glad it was you.” You smiled up at him.

He looked at you, knowing full well that his whole world was laying in his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” you replied.

A/N: A moment of silence please to mourn the fact that we are not the reader. Tragic. Anyway, I hope you had some fun! Like/reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

[thesinglesjukebox]

PANIC! AT THE DISCO - SAY AMEN (SATURDAY NIGHT) [4.71] No Beebos were harmed in the making of this blurb.

Claire Biddles: Maybe it's because I've been obsessing over the latest season of American Crime Story, but I've been working on a theory that Panic! at the Disco is the Ryan Murphy-verse of pop: slick and sexy, with its violence and dirt shrouded in gloss, hitting the same four or five narrative beats in slightly changed-up costumes every time -- all starring an extremely handsome straight boy with perfect hair, playing just camp enough to titillate the boys and the girls and everyone else. The formula is polished to within an inch of its life, but if you love it already then that doesn't matter -- you're weak for every new iteration. I love it already, and when Brendon Urie begs "Mama can I get another amen?" I know it's empty cultural calories but I'm still going to eat it up and lick my plate clean. [8]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Antics. Sensationalism. Vibrant melodrama. Vibrato. No notes! Just vibrato and melisma and histrionics to the point of hernia. Urie remains one of the least charming singers of all time, but utterly satisfied with his helium-engorged prancing. Any real joy burst out of this band in a foul sputter a long time ago, yet still it endures. [2]

Katherine St Asaph: Let's see what's bubbling up here: "Dream On"; Kanye West but mostly "Power," country music but mostly just the titles, I'd say Fall Out Boy if doing so wouldn't murder my inbox, "Potential Breakup Song" improbably. This all adds up to a certain something I can't take seriously. [4]

Julian Axelrod: On one hand, Urie's crafted a more effective sports arena anthem than his contemporaries Fall Out Boy. The chopped-up vocals, cavernous drums, and marching band horns are more Monday Night Football than Saturday Night Fever, but hey, I can't begrudge a band for chasing that sweet syndication money. On the other hand, if fucking "Young And Menace" is the new benchmark for jock jams, we've gotta raise our standards. [4]

Stephen Eisermann: Brendon Urie's attempt to reconcile his Mormon past with his musical output makes for an interesting premise, sure, but the song doesn't make enough sense for it to really work. [6]

Alex Clifton: "Say Amen" is more of the same from Panic! at the Disco--thrilling, theatrical, never quite comes together as much as I want it to--but something about Brendon Urie's voice always sells me on his music. He's got one of the most glorious voices in modern pop, with a huge range that's deeply expressive and makes it all sound so damn easy. [5]

Alfred Soto: It's not as if we couldn't listen to another band besides The 1975 doing histrionic post-post-post punk jive, and Panic! got there first. But "Say Amen" plays like wannabe Sia. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[dweebobeebo-blog]

Vegas

this is actually based off a dream i had not to long ago, the dream is literally burned into my mind

Warnings; None

People mentioned; Zack, Dallon, Dan, and Kenny

Y/h/n (your husbands name)

Having been a panic! Fan since the age fifteen and having always wanted to go to a panic concert or even just meet them all in public it never seemed to happen, I got married at eighteen, wasn't my brightest idea in my book but then again you're only young and dumb once.

Being 24 now, practically begging my husband to come with me to the panic concert, he agreed reluctantly, I squealed and danced around like a little girl something he wasn't to fond of me doing. Being seven years older than me is sometimes a curse because he doesn't exactly Always Know how to let lose and have fun. He always would poke fun at me when I would be' immature and acting like a twelve year old girl'

We weren't always the happiest married couple put there we've had our fair share of three fights a night, I made sure to look exceptionally better than I usually do, him wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Wow great effort

"A/G/N are you ready!" I shout from the front door, he groaned angrily and stormed out to the car well okay.

When we got to the concert, it was packed. I honestly couldn't wait to see them live for once I k now I'm fucking 12! We got to our seats and made very little small talk, him mainly on his phone talking to his 'guys' I was talking to a couple people next to me

"You're seriously so pretty!!"

"Oh thanks, I'm Y/n by the way" I smile at the girl

"I'm Sabrina and this is Connor my friend" Sabrina says we  continue to talk until the show starts and once it does Sabrina Connor and I are dancing and singing like a bunch of fools, Connor then started recording Sabrina and I

"We have to exchange numbers!" We sat at the same time with a laugh , I look at my husband to see him with a weird annoyed look, pop punk, or punk in general wasn't his thing.

They start to play 'lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'

I grin and sing along to it Sabrina and I doing some of what we would call sexy dances, having being fairly close to the stage we know damn well they can see us! Oh well, I wonder how it feels to he back in his hometown.

When the show was finally done, y/h (chosen name) went straight to the car probably lighting up a cigarette, Sabrina and I decided to linger and look around some merch. We heard some girls screaming and we looked, the group was walking out to talk to some fans and take pictures, Zack staying close to them, we continued looking and I was bumped into

"Woah shit I'm sorry!" I recognize that voice it's Brendon

"Hey it's okay little bump or punch never hurt anyone" I laugh, his face Instantly lit up

"Good I'm still sorry" he smiles "did you enjoy the show"

"We did, but my husband didnt" I laugh "you did good"

"Thanks! See yah round ..?"

"Y/n" I smile

"See yah around y/n" he patted my shoulder and they left, Sabrina looked at me and smiled I just rolled my eyes and we went outside Connor was by my husband.

"He was intruiged by you" sab says "you were intruiged by him"

"Sab were both married shush", we offered to give Sabrina and Connor a ride home, we made sure to give each other our numbers

×× "I'm stopping to get gas want anything from inside" I ask

"No thanks though" he replies, I nodded and went inside to pay for the gas and me a drink, I was parched I didn't want to go home just yet but he does. I pay and turn around hearing a group of laughter coming in, the group of attractive married men again I laugh to myself

"Oh hey I bumped into you at the arena" Brendon speaks up

"Oh hi" I laugh "yeah."

"Where are you headed ?" Dan speaks up

"Home. The Mr isn't happy I drug him to the concert tonight " I sigh

"How long have you been married?" Brendon asks

"Since I was eighteen he was twenty-five" I mentally slap myself " I could kick myself for doing that"

"Woah" they all say "thats young"

I just nod and laugh, and we talk some more

"I should go before he gets even madder" I grumble "it was nice meeting you all!" They opened their arms for a hug and I Glady accepted it I finally got to meet panic!

When we got home, he went to bed thank God. He had to be up at six anyways. I sat in the living room with the tv on it being the only light source besides my phone

I sigh, I can't seem to get what sab said to me walking out to the car, was he really intrigued? Enough to go past his wife..? I decide I would text her and see what she thinks

Me; it's y/n sabrina, I can't get what you said out of my head

I scrolled through twitter to see a bunch of stuff about the concert, I got a notification from someone following me back, I went and looked. Did Dan just follow me back? Huh I must be dreaming. I shrugged it off and went to Instagram

Sab: he had an intrigued look when he saw you! I wouldn't lie

Me: we saw each other at the gas station we all talked. Dan just followed on Twitter as well I think I'm dreaming :p

I get another notification from Twitter this time it being a dm and some more people following me. Yup that's it this is definitely a dream

Danpawlovich - you're y/n from the show right the one Brendon bumped into? Dandilionbaby- actually yes! How'd you find me so easily ? :P Danpawlovich- your picture i had to contact you, Brendon was well I don't know how to say this but into you a bit? Dandilionbaby- he's married ? And I am too Dan, thanks for telling me this though he's a interesting man..

I want to know why people are saying this, why does they think he's intrigued by me? He's married to a beautiful woman.

Danpawlovich- well he is intrigued, he wants to chat more. And meet up. He's always here in Vegas a lot. :p why not you can he good friends!

Dandilionbaby-well maybe! I'm headed to bed maybe tomorrow we can have lunch :)

I head upstairs, plugging my phone in and changing, brushing my teeth and laying down right before I doze off Dan replies

Danpawlovich- we all agreed and said yes! Just let us know when tomorrow!

Dandilionbaby- sounds great!

What the hell is happening right now? We run into each other ones at the show, then after at the gas station and not even and hour later his drummer Dan finds me and messages me. This has to be a damn dream.

××

I woke up around ten, my husband didn't even try to wake me to say goodbye he's so mad about me making him go, I grabbed my phone and saw a message from Sabrina and Dan

Sab- now I'm intruiged! :P I feel like a little girl again

Me- so do I!

I laugh and realize I probably shouldn't seeing how I'm supposed to have lunch with the guys, I grab a cup of coffee instead

Danpawlovich- we need it to be low-key is that fine?

Dandilionbaby- of course! If you would rather I can make us lunch here at my house?

I run upstairs to the master room and change into jeans and a nice shirt

Danpawlovich- won't be a bother? We don't want to intrude

Dandilionbaby- husband is at work and of course it won't be don't be silly Dan I would love it. Mi casa su casa

I laugh to myself and start cleaning around the house, I'm so glad we don't have animals or kids right now but I do get rather lonely when he's at work

Danpawlovich- if you insist! Just send me your address we will be there shortly love

I sent him the address, and picked up some more, throwing my hair into a messy bun. I was nervous to have these dudes over we just met. It's so odd. The doorbell rings and I rush to get it, seeing them all in back jackets and sunglasses, i open the door and smile

"Come in come in" I say, and they Do, taking off their hoods and sunglasses "welcome to my lonely yet humble abode"

"It's nice" Dan speaks, they follow me to the kitchen where I take out the pizza I made

"So why did you actually want this?" I question them putting slices on the plates and setting them down in front of the boys

"You were so chill, you're cute but yet lonely " Brendon says " I admire the chill fans"

"Well thanks Brendon" I smile and sit down  "I am rather lonely. Not having kids or animals I don't have much to do"

"Well consider your day booked!" Dallon says "the Mr won't mind will he?"

"No and I don't care he didn't speak to me for the rest of the night" I scoff

As the day went on, the guys had me I'm tears from laughing so hard, it's like I've known them forever. But the more I around Brendon the worse the urge to kiss him gets.

"We're going to the strip tonight why don't you come" Brendon suggests

"Yah it'll be fun!" Dan says

"Sure okay what time?" I ask

"Around about 8 we can pick you up" Brendon says with a smile I just not "great we gotta get going though see you later"

"Bye guys !" I hug them all when they leave I clean the kitchen, knowing it'll take me forever to find out what time wear I go rummage through the closet, settling on some jeans that make my ass look great and a shirt that showed not to much cleavage but not to less and it looked good

Me: hey honey, I'm going out tonight with some friends you can go see the boys if you want :*

I hoped into the shower, washing everything better than I normally would something I've always fine before going out, when I'm done I dry off, starting on my hair making it wavy, doing little to none makeup

××

It's almost eight, my husband is home fucking around on his phone and playing video games, not even. Remotely caring I was leaving.

Danpawlovich- we on our way don't forget your id!

Dandilionbaby- of course not!!

I put on my heels grabbing my purse, grabbing my keys in case he locks the doors before I get home which he probably will

"I'm leaving honey" I say leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek, he just nods and rubs my hand. I walk out and sit on the porch steps waiting for the guys, when they pull up I stand up dusting my bottom off and walking to the car

"Hey you!" Dan smiles "you look good"

"You really do" Brendon and dallon add at the same time

"Awh thanks ! You all look nice as well" I say I nudge Kenny and Dan making them chuckle "so cheer me up what's going on tonight?"

"So casino, gamble a bit, eat drink walk drink some more" Kenny says "your feet will kill you"

"Eh I'm used to it. Practically forced to wear heels when I go to a business dinner with Mr. " I sigh

"No fun" brendon says. They turn on the radio and blare the music and we all dance and sing along

When we reach the strip and get out, they look like body guards for me, I laugh to myself when Kenny holds the door open Dan and Dallon on both sides of me holding their hands out so I take them and step out of the car

"Why thank you gentlemen" I laugh

"Your highness the man awaits" they laugh Zack and Kenny show casing Brendon like show girls, we all break into a fit of laughter.

[loverontheleft]

Ready to Leap - Chapter 44

AU with B as a band teacher and reader as an English teacher. Fluff and smut. Chapters 1-43 can be found on my Masterlist in my bio.

Brendon x reader. Warnings: So...we’ve (and by “we,” I really mean @beautiful-tragic-fallout) created a points system for smut.

0.25 for handjob

0.25 for fingering

0.5 for blowing him

0.5 for going down on her

0.75-1.0 for sex, vanilla

1.5-2.0 for sex, advanced positions

3.0 for bondage, spanking, other kinks, or public sex.

This chapter has a score of 6.5, along with baby talk (discussion of the child, not talking like a baby, but no judgment if that’s what you like) and floooooooof. S’soft.

Word count: 6.4k

-||-

“Brendon!” You shriek, giggling as he smears the cake batter across your lips before swooping in to kiss you longingly. His hands close over your hips and he lifts you up easily onto the kitchen island, moving to stand between your legs and deepening the kiss.

“Hi,” he murmurs when you part for air. He grins at you, eyes heavy, and brushes your hair back over your ear affectionately. “How’s my pretty girl?” You nuzzle into his touch and blush a little. “Pretty girl is blushing…” Brendon comments, stroking your cheek. “What’s pretty girl thinking about?”

“How sweet my husband is,” you say swiftly, squeezing his hand. “How good to me he is.” You move his hand down to your stomach so he can feel the soft flutters there. “How much I love him for baking me cake at 11 pm.”

“Listen,” Brendon says seriously, thumbs rubbing soft circles on your stomach. “If my wonderful, gorgeous, pregnant wife wants cake, then my wife is getting cake.” He grins now, kissing you again gently. “No matter what day or time it is.” He pauses now, sucking lightly on your lower lip, tugging with his teeth and making you moan. “There she is,” he murmurs, pressing closer so he’s flush against you. “There’s my pretty wife, moaning for me like I love.”

“Tease,” you manage, slipping a hand down to the side and in between your bodies to squeeze his cock. When he grunts and rocks forward into your palm, you smile. “There he is. There’s my sexy husband, rubbing his dick against my hand like I love.” Brendon groans and tears his lips from yours, burying his face in your neck. “I know you need it, baby,” you purr, flexing your fingers. “I know you want it.”

“I do,” Brendon murmurs, nipping at your earlobe. “I do want it. I do need it. Need your hand, mouth, pussy...need something…please, Angel, give me something.”

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” you tell him, hooking your legs around his waist and nudging his sweatpants down with your ankles, whining when his dick frees itself and brushes your inner thigh. “I need this cake batter.”

Brendon blinks slowly, his face a blend of arousal and confusion. “I thought we were gonna- baby, my dick is out-“

“Ssssh,” you murmur, pressing your lips to his as you take a spoonful of batter and drip it into your hand. He inhales sharply when you wrap your hand around him, dragging to coat his length. He starts to speak and you squeeze, both of you moaning when he twitches in your hand. “Now I’m gonna suck your dick.”

“Okay wait wait wait,” Brendon protests, both hands on your shoulders. “I’m not - saying no. I’m definitely not saying no. I just - I don’t want you on your knees in the kitchen.”

You tilt your head to the side, considering. “Then - go to the living room and stand in front of the couch. I’m gonna kneel on that.” You giggle when he bolts to the living room then doubles back to help you down from the counter. Once you’re steady on your feet, he wraps an arm around your waist and walks with you to the living room. Carefully, he helps you settle on the couch, kneeling and facing him. “Commere,” you tell him, tugging his dick gently. He obediently steps closer and you waste no time in slurping a long trail up from the base of his cock to the tip and closing your lips around him.

“Shit,” he hisses, grunting and clutching at your head but not pushing you or holding you in place. “Your fucking mouth, Y/n…” and you purr happily, suckling at his cock to clean all of the batter off. “Fucking cravings,” Brendon murmurs, letting his head roll back as you press closer, taking him deep. “Fucking love you and your cravings Y/n...wanna give you everything- oh shit, baby, yes-“ and his hips buck forward slightly; he’s unable to help himself as you press your lips to his pelvis and swallow, knowing he loves when your throat tightens around his cock. “Gonna make me come if you do that,” he pants helplessly, hands tightening in your hair.

The only sound you make is a low moan of satisfaction and the vibrations roll up his body, making him double over and grunt as the first wave of his climax rips through him. You taste him as he comes; his cum a perfect blend of flavors with the cake batter - you can’t help it. You moan and start swallowing around him repeatedly, purring when he cries out, pulls his hips back while telling you it’s too good - he can’t- and comes all over your tongue, thick and hot. Your mouth is filled; you suck greedily and let your tongue move rapidly over the tip; you’re silently coaxing him, begging him for more. He gives you more.

“Such a good girl,” Brendon moans as you give one last final suck and pull back, licking your lips. “Such a good girl, Y/n.” You smile up at him, and he grins down at you affectionately. “So good for me. So pleased with herself…” Brendon runs a hand through your hair, smiling when you arch and press your head into his hand. “My sweet girl. What can I do for my sweet girl?”

You lean back against the couch, face reflecting your deep thought. When you meet his eyes, the seductive look in yours brings him to his knees in front of you, reaching for you longingly. Your lips part and before you can speak, his mouth is on yours and he’s clambering onto the couch, clinging to you and kissing you deeply. You moan and reach down to grab his softening cock, rubbing your thumb over the leaking tip. He groans and slips a hand between your spread thighs, hissing in pleasure against your lips when he feels how wet you are, cock twitching in your hand. You pull back and stare at him, chest heaving as his fingers slip into your heat. He tells you, voice husky, that he’ll do anything for you. Anything you want. You grin and bite your lip. “Finish that cake?” Your voice is soft and you stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Brendon stares at you for a moment before laughing and nodding. He steps carefully off of the couch and removes his fingers from between your legs; you both moan when you see how slick they are. Wordlessly, he slips both into his mouth and sucks. When he’s popped them out of his mouth, he leans down and kisses you gently. “You rest here, baby. I’m gonna go throw that cake in the oven. You just rest right here. I’ll be back,” he promises, cupping your cheek tenderly.

-||-

“Wha’ happened?” You’re bleary-eyed as you sit up, blinking and yawning. “Something smells - cake!” Your eyes snap open as Brendon comes into the living room, a plated chocolate cake in his hands and a container of frosting tucked under his arms.

“Hey pretty girl,” he says with a soft smile. “Cake is done. Didn’t know how much - or if you even wanted - frosting…” and with that, he sets the cake on the coffee table and places the frosting container with a spreading knife beside it. He settles on the couch next to you, brushing his lips over your forehead. “You still want cake, love?”

You muffle a yawn and nod, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Just a little bit.” He nods, smoothing your hair, asking if you want frosting. “Barely any- just the teensiest bit...thank you, baby…” you yawn again and close your eyes. “Sleepy…”

“My sweet, sleepy girl,” Brendon whispers, wrapping an arm around you. “Why don’t I frost this cake, wrap it up, and you can take another little nap with me? We can have cake when we wake up.” You make a soft sound and he smiles. “Wait here, Angel.” He stands up again, gathers the cake and accouterments, and heads back to the kitchen to take care of it. “I’m coming back,” he calls after a moment, and you hear the fridge door close softly followed by his gentle footsteps.

“You’re back,” you purr lacing your fingers around his neck when he sits back down beside you. “You came back.”

“Babygirl,” Brendon whispers, kissing you softly. “I’m always gonna come back.”

-||-

“This-“ you moan, taking another bite, “is the best damn cake I’ve ever had.” Brendon laughs and kisses your cheek, asking if that’s true or if you just really wanted cake. You glance at him and raise an eyebrow. “Does it matter, Urie?” You grin. “Either way, it’s highly satisfying.”

“An excellent point, Urie,” he replies, tugging on a lock of your hair fondly. “Have I mentioned how much I love that you’re my wife? Don’t get me wrong, I do miss ‘Milton’ because of the paradise connection, but I really love - this is going to sound bad - love that you’re mine - my wife, I mean, and got my name. Love looking at you and hearing people call you ‘Mrs. Urie.’ Fucking love that you’re my wife.”

You smile and pull him close to kiss him softly. “Doesn’t sound bad. Fucking love that I’m your wife, too,” you say, bringing both of his hands down to your stomach. “Fucking love that you’re the father of this child.”

“Me too,” Brendon murmurs, kissing you again. “Me too, honey.” You’re both silent for a long moment, breathing each other in, hands roaming and lips caressing. “Can I take my gorgeous wife to bed?” He’s leaning his forehead against yours, eyes dark. “Wanna take my wife to bed and show her how much I love her. Wanna eat her out and feel her pretty pussy all over my face when I make her come for me.” Your breath hitches and he grins. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” you whisper, nodding eagerly. “Yes, please.” Brendon smiles and helps you to your feet, wrapping an arm around your back. “Love your hands all over me,” you tell him.

“Oh babygirl, and I haven’t even really started touching you,” Brendon murmurs in your ear, tugging at your earlobe lightly. “Just you wait. Gonna make my wife come so good from my touch.”

-||-

“Ooooh- fuck, Bren-“ you’re writhing in place on the bed, feet planted on the floor and legs spread wide. He’s kneeling between them on the ground, both hands clutching your thighs and licking and sucking urgently, moaning against you and you can feel his hips bucking against the air, desperate for friction. “Baby-“

“Uh huh,” he groans, fingers flexing into your skin as he lets his tongue go deep, wiggling teasingly to really taste you and get you on edge. “Sound so fucking good-“ he grunts, placing hot, wet, suckling kisses along your inner thighs. “Sound so good when I eat your pussy, Y/n. Lemme hear you, make me believe you need it.”

“Oh fuck fuck fuck,” you pant, spreading your legs wider and scooting further down the bed so he can have better access. “That’s it, baby, that’s it, eat my pussy baby, make me come, B, make me come!” Your voice is high and strained and you’re tangling your fingers in his hair so you can hold his face firmly against you and roll your hips forward.

“Such a- fucking - good girl,” Brendon moans, letting one hand travel higher to slip two fingers deep into you. The contact makes you squeal and he nips at your thigh. “My good girl knows what to say if she wants to come.”

“Oh- fuck- please!”

“You know what to say, babygirl.” His voice is low and controlled but you know his eyes are dark and his lips are slick and swollen with you. You know he wants you to come. “Say it. Tell me what you want.” He gives one last teasing lick and it pushes you over the edge.

“Oh- Brendon- shit- now!” Your eyes roll back as your thighs close around his head and hand. Your entire body is trembling, spasming under his touch and you’re shrieking, quickly-sucked fingers tugging at your nipples while your thighs keep his mouth working. “Yes yes yes yes!”

He’s silent except for the sinful slurping and sucking noises he’s making and the way his breath catches whenever you rock forward. When your body comes to a still and you’re breathing hard, he pushes back, kissing and licking all over your inner thighs, slick with your climax. “Hey, baby,” he says with a chuckle once he’s sated, crawling up into bed beside you and helping you inch up the bed towards your pillow. You moan incoherently, groping for him, gasping when you see his face, flushed and slick from the bridge of his nose down to his chin and your climax smeared across the entire width of his face. “Told you I was gonna make my pretty girl come hard,” he murmurs, tilting your head to meet his lips. “My pretty girl came so hard...probably worn out, huh?”

“Uh huh,” you groan, rolling onto your left side, the position most comfortable for you lately, snuggling into him. “Need sleep. Don’t go anywhere. Just hold me.” You yawn once and, as soon as his arms are around you, promptly fall asleep.

“Sleep, my Angel,” he whispers, tugging the covers up over you both as his other hand strokes your stomach gently. “Not gonna go anywhere, honey.”

-||-

“Brennnnnn,” you whine, eyes still closed. “Too early.” You squeeze your eyes shut tighter as your husband stirs behind you, hand still resting protectively over your stomach. “It’s too early for the sun,” you protest, wincing when you open your eyes slightly.

“Babygirl, I don’t know that there’s much I can do about that,” Brendon murmurs, voice thick with sleep. “I can get blackout curtains but that’s not something that can happen at this exact moment…” he pauses, glancing at the alarm clock. “It’s 7:30. Do you need me to do anything for you, my love?” When you shake your head, he pats your thigh affectionately. “Then let’s try sleeping a bit longer, honey. It’s Sunday. We can sleep in. Close your eyes and rest.” He yawns and you sigh, letting your head sink down into the pillow.

“She keeps kicking- not gonna fall back asleep,” you groan, moving his hand back up so he can feel. “Pressing against my rib cage...she’s needy, just like her mama,” you say with a soft laugh.

“Love both of my needy girls,” Brendon says, kissing the back of your neck. “Haven’t said it lately...Glad we got the gender confirmed too...your students were so sweet to throw us that party, baby…” his voice drifts off, and you nod, letting your mind wander back two months to the memory.

-||-

“Are you sure you won’t be disappointed?” You look up at Brendon anxiously, holding the board book Anna presented to you. He smiles at you reassuringly and opens to the first page, reading aloud.

“Brendon and Y/n couldn’t wait for Baby Urie to arrive - they counted down the months; nine, eight, seven, six, five…”

You turn the page, continuing and grinning when you see how the class has gathered around. “Should they buy a tiny suit or adorable dress? Right now, though, they both could only guess.”

Brendon laughs when he reads the next page. “Should they paint the nursery pink or blue? They just weren’t certain which color would do.” He kisses your cheek. “They know you wanna start decorating,” he teases gently.

“Hush, you,” you say with a laugh, flipping the page. “There was so much to do, so much to prepare; they crafted each detail with the finest of care. But...the biggest detail was still up in the air.”

Brendon squeezes your hand as he flips the page. “Either a boy or a girl, they knew they would adore, and now the day was here- they’d finally be sure.” He looks at you, a wide smile across his face. “Ready, my love?” You nod, and you turn the page together.

You’re both staring at the page and then at each other, totally enraptured when Anna begs you to read it out loud. Your voice cracks as you start, so Brendon finishes, wrapping an arm around you and holding you close. “Hooray! It’s a girl, so small and so sweet - the perfect little Miss Urie we all can't wait to meet!” His voice wavers and you can hear the tears coming. He closes the book and kisses you hard, not caring about the students’ whoops and cheers. “I’m so happy,” he murmurs against your lips, stroking your hair. “So happy.”

“Me too,” you whisper back, clinging to him. “Me too.”

-||-

She kicks again and you groan, squeezing Brendon’s hand. “I just wanna sleep,” you whimper, both of you rubbing slow, soothing circles over your stomach. “Please baby, let me sleep…Daddy needs sleep too, but he’s gonna be awake if I’m awake…”

“One way or another,” Brendon teases sleepily. “You’ll make sure that I’m awake.” He nibbles on your shoulder, rocking his hips forward so you can feel him, hard and throbbing. “I’ve got a distraction if you need one,” he purrs in your ear.

“Too tired,” you whine, your free hand moving back to caress him anyway.

“Not what I meant, actually,” he murmurs, bucking into your hand.  “Feels good though.”

You’re both silent for a moment and your hand tightens when you feel him twitch. “Feels nice,” you mumble. He nods and groans when your hand starts to move, stroking him idly, letting your palm curve over the tip and your thumb rub the beads of pre-cum already forming there.

“Oh fuck that’s - Y/n, baby - stand up.”

You whine and shake your head. “Too tired.”

“Angelbaby, movement will calm her down and you’ll get some sleep.”

“I am moving,” you point out, stroking him faster. Brendon laughs and rolls his eyes, trying not to give in to your touch, even though your hand feels so good on his cock.

“That’s not the kind of movement that will soothe our baby. Get up, honey.”

“I just wanna-“

“Angel.”

“B, please - let me take care of-“

He presses his lips to yours, kissing you firmly as he crawls out of bed and, arms around you, brings you with him. “Up we go. There’s my pretty girl, looking so sleepy…”

“What are we dooooooing?” Your voice is a soft whine and you tangle your arms around his neck, letting him hold you. He grins and kisses you again, starting to move slowly, rotating on the spot. “Are we- dancing?” The question comes out more confused than you meant, but you blush and smile when he nods. “But there’s no music,” you point out, bringing your dance to a pause.

“I can fix that,” Brendon murmurs in your ear, catching your earlobe between his teeth and tugging playfully. “What does my sweet wife want?”

You tilt your head, considering. “Your choice.”

“I love you,” Brendon tells you as your head hits his shoulder and he guides you back into the slow steps. Softly, his voice fills your ears. “Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling...The clever little glances she gives me can't help but be appealing...She loves to ride into town with the top down, Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin...She is my next of kin.”

Your breath catches in your chest and you look up at him, beaming through the tears. “I love this song,” you tell him, nuzzling back into his arms as he holds you and keeps singing.

“Your mother is the only other woman for me; Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?” Brendon winks at you as he finishes the song and pulls you in for a long kiss. “You are the only two women for me,” he tells you, one hand on your stomach. “She’s settling down, I think…”

“Uh huh,” you say, yawning and pressing close. “My ribs are no longer being used for soccer practice, so that’s something,” and you laugh, guiding his hand down over your stomach. “I think that worked...she’s shifting a bit but no violent movements...”

“Yeah? Good. Did it work for just baby or for my sweet wife too?” Brendon smiles down at you tenderly, letting his lips brush yours.

“Worked for me too,” you assure him, letting him lead you back to bed. “Think I might actually- ohhh, that’s nice,” you moan when he guides you into bed and you feel the mattress under you. “Might actually sleep a little - come here, B, please…”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he assures you, climbing into bed on the other side and taking you in his arms. “This okay?” You nod and you both sigh contentedly. “I love you bo-,” Brendon tells you, a yawn stifling the end of his statement.

“We love you too,” you murmur, catching his yawn and resting your head on his chest, letting your eyes slide shut. “Let’s shoot for at least three hours of sleep.”

“It’s nice to have goals,” Brendon says with an appreciative chuckle. “Sleep, love. I’ll be here.”

-||-

“You ready for breakfast, honey?” Brendon’s voice is soft and smooth in your ear as you stir. When you nod, he caresses your cheek. “What do my girls want to eat?”

“Toast,” you say decisively. “Peanut butter toast, please.”

As you both munch on toast, B strokes your calf with his foot and details his plan for the day. “Now that our room and the baby’s room are both painted, figured we’d go over and I could assemble some furniture. The bed you picked out for us was delivered, and the nursery furniture was too. Don’t want you to be bored though…”

You smile at him, finishing your toast before you speak. “I’ll be fine. I just like being around you. As long as you don’t mind working solo.”

He laughs and shakes his head, taking your hand. “You’re not gonna lift a finger, Y/n. You’ll be there for companionship purposes only.”  You nod and stand up, clearing the plates before both of you head upstairs to get dressed.

He hands you another one of his older, now paint-splattered dress shirts and you slip into it after tugging your maternity leggings up into place. “I don’t care what anyone says,” you announce, running your hands over your stomach. “These leggings are comfy as hell and I’m gonna wear them after she’s here.”

“If anyone judges you, I’ll punch them,” Brendon dead-pans from the closet where he’s pulling a pair of sweatpants down off the shelf. You giggle and hug him, kissing his cheek, and he turns to kiss your forehead. “I love you. You’re gorgeous and kind and clever and mine.”

“Yours,” you agree, tangling a hand in his hair and bringing his mouth to yours. “And you’re mine.”

“Everything that I am, everything that I have,” Brendon murmurs, brushing his thumb over your jawline. “Is yours.” The kiss he gives you now is long and lingering and when you pull away, breathless, you find yourself leaning into him. “My sweet girl,” he whispers, holding you tightly. “My sweet, gorgeous girl.” He kisses the top of your head softly. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

“It is,” you agree, nodding against his chest. “It is. Let’s head over to the new house, B.” He smiles and spanks you lightly, grinning wolfishly when you shriek in delight. “Naughty,” you chide and laugh when he tells you that you like it. “I do,” you agree, giggling and waiting in the doorway for him to do it again. “Need some encouragement to get moving,” you say teasingly, wiggling your hips at him.

“You are just asking for it, aren’t you?” Brendon says, amusement evident in his voice. You nod and he spanks you lightly again. “Good thing I’ll always deliver.”

-||-

“Y/n,” Brendon says, and you turn from the window to look at him. “Where do you think we want the crib?” You consider and he continues. “I was thinking under that window, so it’s the focal point of the room. That way we can have the wider dresser and changing table on the wall that backs up to our room, and the glider chair in that further corner, with the taller dresser next to the closet.”

“I like all of that,” you say, nodding. “You’re good at this.” He grins and shrugs, saying he’s just thought about it a lot. “And I love that,” you tell him, smiling. “The set really is beautiful.” You lower yourself to the floor and brush your fingers over the antique white frame.

“Babydoll, get up off the floor,” Brendon says with a laugh. “I’ll bring the glider chair in for you. You don’t have to sit on the floor.” You protest and tell him you don’t mind, but he shakes his head and carries in the pale pink upholstered glider chair, setting it in the corner you both agreed upon. “Up up, baby,” Brendon says to you, reaching down and helping you up. “There we go. Pretty chair for my pretty girl.” He kisses you softly and you drop into the chair, sighing in comfort. “It’s good?”

“It’s good,” you confirm, resting both hands on your stomach and closing your eyes. He brings in the ottoman and you lift your feet, smiling appreciatively. “Thank you, B.”

“Anything for the two of you,” he tells you sincerely, pressing his lips to yours before turning back to the crib and its assembly instruction manual. “Now...let’s see here…” he muses, before setting to work.

“Hey, B?” You get his attention after a long moment. When he meets your eyes, you continue. “Do you think we should talk about names?”

His eyes light up as he turns to you. “Yes! Absolutely. I have so many ideas,” he enthuses, beaming at you. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’ve got a favorite though. Are you ready?”

Amused, you nod. “I love that you’re so excited about this. Give me your best.”

“Actually,” Brendon says, looking around. “I think it’s best if I write it down. Hang on, one sec. Or- why don’t I just text it to you?” You nod, grinning. “Okay, here we go.” He’s typing furiously and you arch an eyebrow.

“You are typing a lot,” you observe, and he grins at you, gesturing to give him one second. When he clicks send and your phone chimes, you stare down at it then up at him. “Brendon,” you say slowly, and he meets your eyes with a level look. “What the fuck is this?” He smiles. “Brendon, this says - McKayleigh Keightlinne- is that even a name? How do you even - Mic-kay-lee Kate-linn? That’s -”

He’s beaming at you, and you stare at him. “Isn’t it great?” He shifts to his knees to kneel in front of you, taking both of your hands in his. “It’s great. I knew you’d love it.”

“Bren - no.” You shake your head, laughing. “No, it’s terrible. It’s - absolutely not.”

“You don’t love it?” He looks crushed, genuinely devastated. “Not even a little?”

“Baby, I love you. I don’t even like that name a little.”

“Y/n-“

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “No, absolutely not. No chance in hell. McKayleigh Keightlinne Urie? No.”

“Y/n-“

“Brendon, no,” you insist, your voice trembling. “Fuck - I don’t want to fight over this or cry about it but no, no, no, I hate that so much. Honest to god if you want the name that badly I will divorce you I swear to god - I will remarry you after because I love you so much but I need to make my poi-“ you’re cut off by a guttural sob and you hiccup, wiping furiously at your eyes.

“Baby, baby, baby,” Brendon pulls you to your feet carefully, wrapping you in his arms. “Honey, no, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry; I was kidding and it wasn’t funny, oh baby, my love, no, no, please don’t cry…” he sits back down in the chair with you in his lap, arms tangled around his neck and your face buried in his shoulder as you sob. His hands move soothingly over your back and he rocks the chair slowly, making soft, soothing noises. “Angelbaby, no, I’m not serious. Honey, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

You hiccup again and you take a shaky breath. “You were kidding?” You look up at him, your face streaked with tears and your eyes rimmed in red. He nods and you let out a little wail, collapsing against him again. “Oh my god, you suck,” you gasp, hitting his arm lightly.

“I do,” he agrees readily. “I do suck. I’m so sorry baby, I shouldn’t tease you like that.”

“You shouldn’t,” you sniffle, breath still shaky. “Mean.”

“It was mean,” Brendon agrees, stroking your back. “Angel, I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you. Jerk.” You mutter, nipping at his neck. “That is not - that is not a good name.”

“No,” Brendon agrees, nuzzling your cheek. “No, it isn’t. I’m sorry, my love.” You’re both silent for a minute, you breathing in his cologne and his hands stroking your sides. “Am I really forgiven?”

“Uh huh,” you mumble, drawing hearts on his chest over his t-shirt. “Wish we had a bed here.”

“And why’s that, babygirl?”

“So you could show me how sorry you really are,” you murmur, reaching down to take one of his hands from your side and move it up to your breast. “How sorry are you?”

Brendon grins, his eyes go dark, and his breathing becomes more shallow as his thumb cups and caresses the side of your breast. “Sorry enough to go build that bed in the other room,” he offers in a low voice, letting his thumb graze your nipple now.

“We don’t have a mattress here,” you counter, arching your back into his touch. He swears under his breath and closes his eyes in concentration, thinking. “Baby,” you whine now, curving your hand over his and flexing your fingers so he’s squeezing your breast gently. “I need you.”

“I’m thinking-“ Brendon tells you, eyes still shut. “We don’t have a - there’s always the shower-“

“We don’t have water turned on here yet,” you point out, and he groans, clutching at your hips. “And we don’t have towels here.”

“We could airdry,” he suggests, grunting and rocking under you when you lean over to attack his neck with your lips, kissing and nibbling and suckling all over. “But - fuck - the water. There’s no water…”

“And no mattress,” you point out glumly, your breath warm on his skin. “Our options are limited.”

“Options?” Brendon says hoarsely, trying to wiggle a hand down the front of your leggings. “We have no options. I’m not about to fuck you on the floor, Angel.” You’re silent for a minute, whimpering as his two fingers trace your entrance and he crushes his mouth to yours. “And you can’t - I won’t let you - riding me like this won’t work,” he groans, sliding both fingers in deep.

“B,” you pant, your eyes closed and head tipped back. “We cannot fuck on the rocking chair in our daughter’s nursery. We cannot - oooooh shit, baby, spread ‘em, yes, fuck yes! Oh fuck Bren I love- oh fuuuuuck-“ you hiss, sinking your teeth into his shoulder and whining as you feel your climax roll through you.

“Shouldn’t,” he corrects you in a low voice, watching you writhe and buck against his fingers, enjoying how you gasp when he lets his thumb rub against your clit while his middle and index finger flex inside you. “We shouldn’t fuck on the rocking chair in our daughter’s nursery. Not ‘we cannot.’ We shouldn’t.”

“Uh huh,” you agree breathlessly, reaching to grab his wrist and holding his hand in place so you can grind against his fingers. “We definitely shouldn’t.” You're both grinning at each other through heavy eyes, hair messy and brows shining with exertion. “Are we gonna?”

“No,” Brendon says gently, and you pout. “No, we’re not gonna fuck on McKayleigh Keightlinne’s chair.”

“Oh fuck you,” you say with a laugh, hitting his chest lightly. He grins and catches your hand with his free one before slipping his fingers from your leggings and, his other hand braced against the small of your back, stands carefully. “Bren-“ you squeal, wrapping your legs around his waist instinctively.

“Good girl, still remembers how to hold on,” he comments, both hands on your hips. “Here, Angel, gonna set you down, and - atta girl, hold onto me til you’re steady - there’s my girl,” he murmurs, kissing you gently as you find your footing. “Now...hands on the wall, darlin.”

“What?” Your eyes go wide and he grins, spanking you lightly. “I mean - okay-“

“Yes,” he confirms, watching you brace yourself against the wall. “You can rest on your forearms if that’s - is that good, honey?”

“Actually,” you muse, forehead resting against the wall too, “this feels pretty good. Doing wonders for my back - man, we should have sex like this all the - oh!” You squeal as he tugs your leggings down and drops to his knees between your legs. “Brendon, what are you- oh fuck,” you gasp as his hands grip the front of your thighs and forces your legs slightly wider so he can tease your clit with his tongue from behind. “Oh fuck Brendon, that’s - that feels so- oh fuck!”

“Uh huh,” Brendon groans, squeezing your thighs. “Make some noise for me, Angel.” He lets one of his hands wander further so he can slide two fingers deep while his tongue rolls over you; your shriek fills the air as his fingers spread wide inside you so his tongue can flick the way you love.

“Ooooh fuck,” you gasp, flattening your palms against the wall so you can brace yourself back against his tongue, your hips rocking urgently. “Oh Brendon, baby, yes, please oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!” He groans and it vibrates through you; if it weren’t for his hands around your thighs, you’re confident you’d be on the ground. You’re shaking and squealing and trembling as your orgasm pulses through you, and he moans, tongue working swiftly with long strokes.

“You good, honey?” Brendon asks, his voice raspy. His fingers flex against your thighs and you nod, whimpering. “You sure?”

“Yes,” you manage, taking a shuddering breath. “That was - oh fuck, that was good.” He chuckles softly and holds your hips; you gasp when you feel his cock brush the back of your thigh. “Please,” you say and you’re nodding already, pushing back. “Ooh!” You yelp as he spanks you.

“Patience,” Brendon says softly. “Patience, Angelbaby. Don’t you worry. I’m gonna take care of you.”

“I know,” you whine, your forehead back against the wall as your chest rises and falls with your labored breaths. “But I want- oooh!” His hand lands again, firmer this time, and you roll your hips back, wanting more.

“I know you want. And you’re gonna get, I promise.” He shifts behind you, leaning forward to bite at the back of your neck as he pushes into you. “Jesus fucking- Y/n, so - oh god- tight,” he grunts in your ear. You moan and shift so you can bite on your arm but he notices and spanks you again. “No, ma’am. Let me hear you. No muffling. Wanna hear how good I’m making my girl feel.”

“Oh fuck-“ you gasp, wrenching your mouth away from your arm, breathing hard. “Oh fuck baby, it’s so good, it’s so fucking- you’re gonna make me- oh fuck please just - don’t stop, holy shit Bren, yes, yes, yes, yes!” You’re chanting now, hips rocking back hard, hand slamming into the wall and feet spread wider for him to go deeper. “Make me come, holy - oh my god- fuck- yes, Brendon, yes! Coming!” You’re practically screaming, head thrown back and he tangles a hand in your hair, tugging gently, whispering in your ear how good you feel.

“Coming on my cock like a good girl, so good and sweet for me, fucking love you,” he groans, hips still working. “Gonna come in you, gonna come from my wife’s pussy oh god- shit- baby, Y/n, fuck you’re so- yes!” He tugs once more at your hair and slams his hips forward, breathing hard as his cock twitches and throbs deep inside you.

“Oh shit,” you whimper, squeezing around him. “You feel so- oh god, yes…”

You’re both gasping for air when he pulls out of you and carefully guides you back to the rocking chair. He tugs his sweatpants up and slides your leggings back up your thighs before settling in the chair with you on his lap. “Do you believe I’m sorry?” He asks, nuzzling your neck and placing warm, soft kisses over your skin.

“Yes,” you manage, slumping against him. “Yes, I do.”

“And am I forgiven?” His voice is soft as his hands fold over your stomach.

“Yes,” you repeat, turning your head slightly to kiss his cheek. “Now…” you murmur, tracing his fingers on your stomach with your index finger. “Can we go home? I need a shower after your apology.”

Brendon laughs and nods, promising to get you home quickly. “And if you want to take a little nap, I can come back over here and finish the crib while you sleep,” he offers.

“That sounds good,” you say, stifling a yawn. “Really good,” you add, giggling and standing carefully letting him hold you protectively. “Shower. Cuddles in bed. Nap.”

“All of that,” Brendon promises, lacing your fingers together as he guides you down the stairs. “All of that, honey. You deserve the best nap.”

“Mmm,” you agree, smiling. “I have the best husband and just had the best sex, so it makes sense I’d get the best nap.” Brendon laughs, opening your car door and closing it after you buckle your seatbelt.

“Well, I’ve got the best wife and I also just had the best sex, so maybe I’ll take a bit of that best nap too,” he says with a smile, leaning over to kiss you. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agree, resting your forehead against his. “Definitely yeah.”

[trashy-ways-to-waste-time]

Our Panic! At the Disco Concert Experience

This is a personal post guys. Hope you don’t mind! Admins Daria, Socks, and Disappointment went recently and we wanted to share our favorite parts. Enjoy! (feat. the assorted names for Brendon Urie)

Admin Daria’s thoughts

EVERYONE WHO WENT LOOKED SUPER COOL AND VERY FRIENDLY (fun fact: we started singing history maker from yoi and someone joined us ^^.)

Note: my ass has never danced so hard in my LIFE, my vocal chords did not last, and my ears could not hear for an entire day. i felt amazing

i also realized im capable of crying happy tears? more than once??

Saint Motels has the coolest sounding shit. Good vibes right there

The chick from Misterwives seemed so sweet, adorable, cool, and awesome 

Brendon: “You’re like a fucking frat house” *begins to dab viciously in imitation of a frat boy* “sUP BRAH SUP BRAH” Me: wHEEZE

Dallon was so cute oml, save me. HIS HAIR KEPT FLOPPING AROUND AND ASDFGHJKL (Im a bit sad that dallon didn’t interact much but he seemed into it so im happy that he’s happy)

After Girls/Girls/Boys, Breadbin was like “oh i don’t wanna get political…” then the little shit says “Donald Trump is a fucking idiot and he can suck my dick :))”

Old man beebo reminisces of the days his parents played vinyl around the house while they did chores

KENNETH SLAYING THE GUITAR. ALSO KENNETH ROCKING OUT THE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY GUITAR SOLO WHILST STANDING ON A MOTHERFUCKING PIANO?? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

Dalllooooonnnnn. Bless him. He was doing cute little hand movements during the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody and my heart hurts

Dallon jamming was just everything. (god, have i mentioned how much i love dallon weekes?)

Bden dancing and doing a backflip. Also, him being extra. 

DANNNNNNNN. STOP KILLING ME WITH THE DROOOMMMMSSS

the bass was so strong. and so good. can i just say that i find all instruments sexy? 

Kenneth interacted with us and gave people high-fives

tHE SAXPHONE BRO NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED

intense smirking

Brandon Urine handing out compliments made me want to cry

the goddamn crowd during Girls/Girls/Boys (im posting a pic later)

tHE BACKUP VOCALS. DALLON’S VOICE AHHHH (im a dallon enthusiast, is there a problem?)

forehead expressing his appreciation for us :’)

mah bois hips don’t lie

I legit yelled "you own my ass" out loud... kinda regret it now

Admin Socks’ thoughts

THE FLOOR WAS SO FREAKING STICKY 

 THE HIGH NOTES THOUGH 

saint motel was SO GOOD 10/10 would have gone to a concert of just them

those songs from the 70s made me feel nostalgic even though I wasn’t alive 

I was one of the few in space buns?? I expected more 

GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WITH ALL THE HEARTS 

 ok, but out of the THOUSANDS of people, I was standing in line and noticed that the person next to me was MY FRICK FRACKING CHILDHOOD MUSIC TEACHER LIKE WTF ARE THE CHANCES

OH NO there are goldfish all over the floor of my car

GOSHDARNIT THEY ALL LOOKED G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S

merch merch merch merch merch yes please

when the first opening act came on I stood there gaping for a solid minute before whispering to myself “i’m here”

everywhere we went it was like this: “oh there’s your shirt” “someone has on the same shirt as you” “darnit I see someone with the same shirt as me” “look a whole flock with the same shirt”

I shouted “yassss queen” a few bajillion times

I ACTUALLY sang the bad words *gasps* so scandalous

I saw a bunch of pride flags and that just kinda filled my heart with joy :)

Admin Daria actually cried right next to me

SHOUTOUT TO THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WHO JOINED IN ON HISTORY MAKER AND THEN GAVE US THEIR SPARE HEARTS (my heart swells for all you nice wonderful people)

I tried to listen to what I sounded like when I was screaming and it was BAD. BAD I tell you

WHEN THE PIANO FIRST APPEARED I SCREAMED “YAY BRENDON YAY PIANO”

when I got in the car my mom was like “oh I bought the whole set-list and a few more songs if you’d like to listen to them” and I was just like “afjbvjk bwkbc yes please”

contrary to popular belief too weird to live too rare to die is my favorite album so I was glad that there were songs from that at the concert

my MOM had a better seat then me ... my MOM

that place had really bad service

we were all “SUP BRAH” and unironically dabbing in the parking lot

but seriously this was one of the best experiences of my life and I actually just layed on the floor when I got home and was like “omigod omigod omigod I just saw Panic! At the Disco omigod omigod I'm gonna die omigod”

Admin Disappointment’s thoughts 

CRYING LOTS OF CRYING 

LIKE WTF WHY SO MANY TEARS

 Yelling 

Singing off key 

Low key judging the people arriving late at the concert 

Eating a bag of goldfish 

Getting sick because of the excitement 

“BEEEEEEBOOOOOOO” “I hope this doesn’t show up on the video” 

Crying even more 

“sUP BRUH”

 Terrible videography skills 

Knowing all the songs

 “Donald Trump is a fucking idiot”

 Yelling across the room saying “I like your shirt” 

“You need to stop” 

Out of control 10/10 embarrassing to go to a concert with