#brendan I’m so sorry

[hplonesomeart]

I mean this is basically how Mr. Puzzles Clubhouse went right? In a nutshell? Okay well maybe minus the cartoonishly exaggerated Puzzles here but come on still kinda close maybe?

Also bonus added silly notes I made during the sketching process I guess lol

[m--rtyr]

Brendan should’ve been Aphmau’s Childhood friend to lover storyline in PDH

[ask-idv-condemner]

"I see, I see. Fair enough!"

"Ah, sorry. You have such wonderful eyes, I couldn’t help but get distracted! You have to understand, it’s always a pleasure getting to see a nice pair of peepers like yours! Hm.. if only the color were the same shade as my wife’s… alas, I don’t think anyone will have as lovely eyes as she does."

"...Something about you doesn't seem right. What's wrong with you that I should be looking out for."

- Brendan

"Hm? Is that so? That’s quite the rude welcome.. I’m not sure what I’ve done to give off such an opinion! I only wish to get to know everyone better, isn’t that what friends- or well, teammates, should do? You are a fellow survivor, yes?"

[ @avatar-idv ]

[constarlations]

What are ur fav pokeships? Besides the obvious Ethan x Dawn lol

It’s a lot so

silver/lyra

hilbert/rosa

nate/hilda

curtis/rosa

barry/dawn

carmine/nemona (this one I’m not as multishipper with its literally them or death (but I like including Amarys too to the couple sometimes) (I like the idea of drayden being Carmine’s ex tho like they had history but broke up hence why she’s really prissy when he’s around they had history lmfao)

(Oras only) protag may x npc Brendan

barry/lucas

adaman/irida

RSE May/Hilda

Serena/Emma

moonlily

Hau/Gladion/Elio

a lot of the rival x protag ships tbh (both genders)

literally any cross gen protag x protag (gen 1-6) I’ve thought about how their dynamic would be (I consider gen 7 and beyond its own separate thing now)

lisia/yancy

rse may/lisia

sonia/nessa

leon/sonia

cynthia/me (non-negotiable)

cynthia/steven

steven/zinnia

uhhhhh idk I know there are more but I forgot

[daincrediblegg]

You know the older I get, the less star power means to me. Give me shows where the leads aren’t played by a true A-lister, who actually cares about the part they’re playing and why they’re playing it and the nuances they want to convey with that over some hollywood darling any day and THEN I’ll pay attention

[toffoliravioli]

Brendan Smith: certified elite forward

yes. yes. yes. yes…..did I say yes? cuz yes

article cred: james nichols

[holypowell]

A BIG WIN FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE (me)

[cinewhore]

Sort of gagging at the whole narrative of “oscars makes me love cinema!” and “i can’t believe i won never give up kids your dreams can come true!”

because-

That’s not what’s happening here. I used to fall prey to that whole thought process, that if i could just work hard enough someone would see my genius and I’d win so many awards but the game is rigged and it has always been rigged. Seeing “two Asians winning an Oscar in one night is breaking history” does not make me happy or hopeful. This is what, the 95th oscars? And do y’all even know the history the Oscar’s is founded on? I think I’ve come around full circle to rejecting this sense of optimism because in reality, at least in mine, it’s just not true.

like have you read the anonymous confessions of academy members yet? It’s filled to the brim with racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.

i get what it means in the grander context. I know it can bring good feelings to people for marginalized communities. I just wish there was another tipping point for us. Cause i guarantee you it’s not getting an Oscar.

[turcott3]

the set up

cole caufield x fem! reader

warnings?: alcohol, cursing, kissing, smut, unprotected sex, public sex

masterlist

-

“truth.” you spoke aloud. you were at emma’s bachelorette party, one day before the rehearsal and you were all drunk playing truth or dare like teenagers.

“i know you have a crush on one of the players, who is it?” she asks inquisitively.

“well i’ve always had a little crush on caufield.” you reply with a shrug and a light smile on your face.

“oh really?” emma giggles.

“yeah, i mean he’s just so happy all the time and he’s really handsome, how could i not like him?” you reply taking another sip of your drink.

“i mean yall would be cute honestly.” she continues, texting someone quickly on her phone.

“who ya texting?” steph asks her next to you.

“just brendan, making sure he’s not blackout drunk, you know.” she laughs, knowing the boys were also having their party today.

“oh also, i’ll have your bridesmaid and groomsmen pairings done in the morning.” emma speaks up shutting her phone off. the rest of the night was spent partying, thinking in the back of your mind that you had just admitted your crush on cole to your best friend.

-

“hello?” you groaned into the phone, a call from emma waking you up.

“did you see my text?”

“no i just woke up, i need ibuprofen before i stare at a bright screen.” you laugh lightly.

“oh did i wake you? i’m so sorry.”

“no no it’s fine, i needed to get up, ill read it in a sec.” you reply.

“okay thanks, see you in a few hours y/n!” she says.

“bye love.” you reply, ending the call and getting up, digging for your pills. you popped two before opening your phone back up to read her text. as you ran across your name you almost choked on your drink.

“cole?” you question starkly, eventually leading to a sigh.

“of course i’m with him.” you groan, now feeling pressure to look flawless to maybe impress him. you knew that you’d found him attractive for a while but you had zero clue how he felt toward you.

after many hours of getting ready and making sure your rehearsal dress was perfectly wrinkle-less, you finally were able to leave your hotel room and make your way to the rehearsal venue.

“y/n!” emma yells as you step through the door, running up to hug you.

“hope you enjoy your pairing, yall two are sitting over there for dinner.” she winks pulling away.

“you’re stressing me girl.” you laugh nervously, sitting at the small two top table by yourself. much to your demise, you didn’t get much time to prepare as cole walked into the room a mere 5 minutes later, finding his way to his seat.

“how’ve you been? i haven’t seen you in a while.” cole asks smiling.

“oh i’ve been great, how about you?” you ask, picking at your manicure.

“better now that i’m here.” he replies, turning to face the couple as they were about to speak, a blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“hey guys so, before we get to eating dinner i just wanted to go over like the order of how everything’s gonna go just so we’re all prepared for tomorrow. and i won’t be mad that it’s not perfect, it’s not supposed to be. but if we don’t have any fun whatsoever, then we’ve failed our mission of being ‘the gallaghers’ so let’s hope we can do that at least.” emma spoke loudly amongst the room. she spoke for a few minutes just running through the order of how everyone is gonna walk out, you and cole being the third “couple”.

“and one last thing, i’m not making you guys sit at separate tables, i sat you with your pairing just because i didn’t like how it looked on the seating chart so, basically you’re attached at the hip all night. sorry.” she laughs, you knew she was particular in not wanting the wedding to be old school and formal.

“you think you got that all down?” you ask, trying to make it seem like you weren’t anxious, and it was starting to work. your nerves were beginning to ease as your anxiety seemed to remember that cole wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“i think i do. and we’re about to practice so that’ll be the test.”

“i’m nervous for tomorrow though.”

“whys that?” he asks, taking a bite of the plate that was sat in front of him.

“what if i like trip on my dress or like sneeze. i’m just scared ill ruin it.” you admit.

“it’ll be fine, you’re just over thinking it.” he replies and you nod knowing he’s right.

“that reception is gonna make it worth it though.” you giggle.

“oh absolutely, that’s gonna be the best part.” he replies

“and you’ll dance with me right?” he asks, with a hopeful smile on his face.

“oh um,” you pause finishing the sip you were about to take, “yeah of course i will.”

“great, i was hoping you would.”

-

you’d spent a vast majority of the night getting to know cole, which you loved doing. he’s an easy going guy who’s very sweet and respectful, which you adored. you went to bed tonight pondering on what the day would bring the two of you. you could feel the flirting between the two of you all evening.

the next morning, you woke up feeling refreshed. you went over the details of the wedding in your head over and over until you didn’t miss a word. you grabbed onto your garment and makeup bag and fled the room, rushing to be by your best friends side as she got ready for her big day.

“so you nervous?” you ask.

“girl no, i already know im saying yes.” she laughs as she sits in the chair being dolled up by her make up artist.

“oh that’s good.” you replied unpacking your things beginning to get yourself ready with the girls. the time came quickly. it seemed like minutes passed by between the time you finished your hair to the time you were stood with the guy you’ve had a crush on for a year.

“you okay? you’re fidgety.” cole asks quietly.

“oh uh, yeah i’m okay. just nervous.” you say, his hand then softly rubbing up and down your back.

“don’t be nervous, you’re gonna be great. if you trip ill catch you. i’m here.” he replies reassuringly as you flash him a weak smile.

“thank you.”

“of course, and you look beautiful by the way.” he says before locking arms with you, prepared to walk down the aisle. you made it down without any trips and appreciated cole going the extra mile to help you up a couple of stairs. you all stood on your respective sides, admiring the couple between you, sharing occasional glances with cole from across the altar. selfishly, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and how kind he was to you just moments prior.

-

the reception started about 30 minutes ago and you’re already 3 wine glasses deep with cole. you’d been dancing for a while and finally made your way back to the table, still littered with the others. you both had grown to be decently drunk and were getting touchy with cole, which is something you wouldn’t DARE to have done about 45 minutes ago.

“cole is need to pee, will you come with me and hold my dress?” you ask, sporting proud puppy dog eyes.

“yes, come on.” he replies standing up reaching his hand out to you, you found your way to the, luckily, single stall restroom. you locked the door quickly and turn to face him.

“i actually don’t have to pee.”

“i know.”

“you do?”

“yes, you’ve been making it obvious.” he giggles.

“what do you mean obvio-“ you start and are cut off by his lips harshly on yours, but in a way you enjoy. it was a quick change in environment, the fun had subsided and all you wanted to know was how he felt buried deep inside you. you felt yourself grow wet at his hands grazing down your back and onto your ass. his lips trailed to your neck, nipping and sucking on the skin before returning back to your lips after a long moment.

“i don’t wanna ruin your make u-“ he starts.

“shut up and fuck me caufield.” you reply interrupting him, a skill you’d both acquired in the last two minutes. cutting him off. a look of shock briefly flashes across his face before a smirk takes over.

“are you sure?” he asks, his hands placed on your waist.

“what do you mean? did you not hear me?”

“no i mean are you sure you wanna do it here?”

“yes, i want you right fucking now cole, and maybe again later when you’re staying in my room with me.” you reply and he smirks, turning you around and bending you over the sink. he assists you in pulling the short train on youryour long skirt over your ass, pushing your soaked lace thong to the side.

“so wet already?” he asks dragging a quick finger through your soaked core.

“mhm.” you reply biting your lip. you looked down at his pants in the mirror as he quickly unbuttoned his dress pants, rubbing himself hard very quickly. you bit your lip as you watched him line his hard cock up with your entrance.

“nuh uh, eyes up here.” he says using his hand to push your chin back up, locking eyes with him as he ran his leaning tip through your wet folds.

“cole we have to be fast.” you complain, as if you weren’t enjoying the teasing. a sigh of relief left your mouth as he buried himself deep inside you, his tip brushing your g-spot instantly, your eyes rolling back.

“oh fuck.” you whimper, realizing you are in a very public place and have to make sure you keep your voice down. you mentally acknowledge the fact that you have no choice but to be fast in this moment, wanting to get the job done quickly. in thinking, you fucked yourself back onto him, colliding in the middle.

“god fuck-“ he grunts, placing his hands firmly on your ass cheeks, thrusting quickly, letting the fabric of your dress muffle the sound of your skin clapping.

“you’re so tight y/n.” he says, almost speeding up his already decent pace.

“oh my god cole, that’s it right there.” you whisper, tears forming in your eyes as you collapsed further over the sink. gently, he wrapped his arm around your chest pulling you up, deepening the angle of his thrusts, hitting your g-spot right on the head with each thrust.

“fucking god, i’m gonna cum.” you whine, a tear slipping from your eye.

“come on baby, cum for me. i will too yeah?” he asks with eyebrows raised in the mirror and you nod as the knot unravels in your stomach, shockwaves shooting through your body rapidly as he filled you to the brim with his milky climax, fucking you all the way through both of your highs.

“i can’t believe we just did that.” you sighed out, catching your breath.

“me either.” he chuckles behind you, pulling out slowly.

“oh fuck, here, stay right there.” he says observing the mess he made between your legs. he grabs a few sheets of toilet paper, carefully wiping you clean, tossing them in the toilet and pulling your panties back over your core.

“my eyes.” you groan looking in the mirror.

“let me see.” he replies and you turn around. he licks his fingers to fix the smudges under your eyes and around your lips, dabbing the sweat off your forehead with a paper towel.

“do i look okay?” you ask, pulling the dress back down.

“just as gorgeous as before.” he replies, readjusting his pants, making sure everything’s in straight.

“okay you ready?” he asks holding onto the door knob.

“wait hold on, can i ask you something?”

“yeah of course.”

“will you come stay with me tonight? like in my room?” you ask boldly, the buzz beginning to wear off.

“if that’s okay, yes of course i will.”

“it’s more then okay.” you smile lightly, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing a firm kiss to his lips.

“good, then i can fuck you right.” he mumbles on your lips, kissing you again.

“woah fuck y/n i’m sorry.” he says as you pull away.

“what what’s wrong?” you reply nervously and he turns you by your hips to the mirror, using his hand to turn your head to the side, exposing the dark hickey he left on your neck.

“honestly, it’s fine, really.”

“are you sure?”

“yes cole it’s fine, and besides you’ll be littered in them tomorrow morning.” you wink, kissing him one last time as you turn the doorknob. he grabs your short dress train of the floor, carrying it as you walked out of the bathroom. you hear a chuckle a few feet away from you, realizing nick was standing there and definitely watched the two of you enter the bathroom.

“emma!” you shout as cole lets go of your dress, taking your hand as you jogged over toward her.

“we’ve been looking for you.” emma replies with a smirk on her face.

“oh uh, i just had to go to the bathroom and there was a line.”

“yep mhm, a line.” she laughs, turning your chin to the side, high fiving her husband.

“what?” you ask.

“bitch, what do you mean what? yall just fucked in true bathroom at my wedding and now you’re holding hands. oh brendan we have outdone ourselves.”

“what?”

“girl, i put you with him so that THIS would happen. nick was our spy, great help.”

“you wanted us to fuck at your we-“

“well that isn’t EXACTLY what we had in mind, i was thinking like a kiss during a slow dance on the floor but this? this is fucking gold.” she laughs hugging you, as you stood confused as ever.

“so this was a set up?” you scoff.

“well, yes.” brendon pokes in.

“thanks gally.” cole laughs, a soft hand wrapping around your hip.

“now yall go have fun.” emma says waving the two of you off.

-

“what a night.” you sigh, collapsing into your bed, cole right beside you.

“yes for real, we really got set up.”

“i’m not mad about it.” you reply.

“me either, i’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while.”

“why didn’t you, i’ve had a crush on you for like a year.” you laugh.

“yeah well, now we fucked in a bathroom at a wedding, i’d say that is quite the stride.” he smiles widely at you.

“i’m fucking exhausted. i would totally love to stay up and fuck all night but i feel like maybe we should sleep it off and then maybeeeeeeee fuck all morning?” you giggle.

“whatever you want baby.” he smiles, his thumb grazing over your cheek lightly, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips

“god you make it so hard not to just wanna fuck you like a damn bunny right fucking now.” you say and he busts out laughing.

“let’s go to sleep, come on love.” he says tucking the two of you under the covers.

“we can fuck like bunnies in the morning okay?”

“okay.” you pout, poking your bottom lip out.

“goodnight pretty girl.” he says softly.

“good night pretty boy.” you smile as he presses a light kiss to your nose.

-

[backwoodsbigfoot]

So I’ve just seen the Mummy (1999) for the first time, somehow, after 25 years of being alive and loving adventure/fantasy/historical fiction films and I.

I LOVED IT.

Sure, it’s goofy and the CGI is a bit horrid, but I still loved it.

I loved the characters, I loved the gorgeous sets, I loved how EARNEST it is. It’s truly such a fun film, and I’m kicking myself for not watching it sooner.

And it’s FUNNY! Beni and Rick had me cackling. Look at Brendan’s face in this scene:

And then he’s on the WRONG SIDE OF THE RI-VER!

Also really loved the relationships between the characters. Jonathan and Evy have such a sweet sibling dynamic. They genuinely love and support each other, and that’s really refreshing.

Just Jonathan in general is delightful, honestly.

Love ya, dude.

Also everyone is so hot??? I even thought Imhotep was handsome, and I’m usually put off by bald men (sorry fellas). Look how cute Evy is!!!

BUT. Ardeth Bay? Holy shit. He is GORGEOUS. Legitimately have never seen a man who’s so beautiful. Big time crush happening over here.

I looked up Oded Fehr and he’s actually still gorgeous, it’s ridiculous.

Dude. Are you kidding me??? LOOK at him.

Anyway, really loved this movie and can’t wait to get sucked into the fandom!

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Anywhere Else Is Hollow - No Love Love Halloween Bonus Chapter

Series Masterlist

Read on A03!

Author's Note: There are so many pop-culture references in here, I'm so sorry. Title from willow by Taylor Swift.

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary/Warnings: A halloween special episode! Takes place in Chapter 25. Usual warnings.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, tooth-rotting fluff, pre-established relationship

“It’s the middle of fucking June.” Ben grumbles, adjusting his suspenders and glaring at his reflection. “And I still don’t see why I can’t just wear my damn supe suit-“

You grab his shoulders, turning him to face you and moving his hands off the straps for you to fix. “So you admit,” you grin up at him. “Your supe suit is a costume.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Shut the fuck up, people dress as me all the goddamn time-“

“But you are you. The whole point of this is that you’re not you.”

“Well, I don’t want to be this fucking pussy-“

“Rick O’Connell is not a pussy, he was my very first crush and an excellent treasure hunter. He’s like Indiana Jones, but with no commitment to academics.” 

“Well then why the fuck can’t I be Indiana Jones-“

“Because you don’t have any commitment to academics, and you’re built more like late 90s Brendan Fraser.” You run your hand through Ben’s hair, holding his glower with a fake pout. “I think you look very handsome.”

“I always look fucking handsome,” he mutters, catching your hand and kissing your knuckles. “This is still goddamn stupid.”

“If you want to go tell Ryan that-“

Your hum is cut off with a squeak as Ben tugs you forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you until you’re a little dizzy, swaying against him.

“Brat.” He presses another, lighter kiss on the corner of your lips, smirking as you chase his mouth back fully onto yours. “I’m going to do this shit, for you-“

“For me?” You raise your brows, pulling back enough to give Ben a pointed look. “Or for the blowjob and ice cream you’re going to earn for not being a massive fucking baby about this.”

He shrugs. “It’s a blowjob from you, beautiful. And if you’re going to wear this-“ He cuts himself off, scanning over you with a frown. “What the fuck is this.”

“A costume-“

The lines of Ben’s face deepen, and he rolls his eyes. “No, smartass. Who are you.”

“Evelyn Carnahan.”

“Who-“

“She’s your,” you poke Ben’s chest, and keep your face bright as you push through the description. You’d really been hoping he wouldn’t ask who you were, because you know he loves you, but it still might make you cry if he gets pissed off or freaked out by this. “Wife.”

He just blinks at you. “I’m not married yet-“

“No, dummy.” You sigh. “In the movies. Your costume is married to my costume.”

There’s a moment of silence, and it’s the longest fucking moment of your life. Ben is staring at you, looking slightly dumb-struck, and everything inside him is glowing and burning and made of ardor, but if he doesn’t fucking say something-

“If you give me a blowjob in this costume,” he mutters, scanning over your body as an insufferably attractive, cocky grin crosses his face. “I’ll jump off a fucking bridge for you.”

You flush, all of Ben’s hunger making you feel warm and high, but still manage to wrinkle your nose at him. “I don’t need you to jump off a bridge for me, Benjamin. Just don’t bitch and moan, and pretend you’re having a little fun.”

“We can stay here, and have plenty of fun in these stupid fucking outfits-“ 

“Nope.” You push off his chest, and stick out your tongue. “Earn it, Pretty Boy.” 

Ben's face falls into an almost adorable pout, but he lets you tangle his hand in yours, pulling him out of your room and apartment, down to the dining hall. 

You will admit, this whole thing is a little ridiculous. It is in fact the middle of June, but Ryan’s never had a Halloween before, and who knows what the fuck your life will look like come October. Best case scenario, two Halloweens in one year. Worst case- 

You don’t even want to think about the worst case. The worst case is world-ending, heartbreaking, and keeps you up in the dark with nightmares of cold, blue eyes and red hands that might be yours and might be Homelander’s wrapping around your throat. 

So this might be a little stupid, but you don’t care. It’s a distraction, it’s not like you have anything better to do while everyone is benched. You might as well entertain this request from Ryan, and pretend it’s October, and just have simple fun for one night, like the world isn’t ending around you. 

Bonus, Ben does look really fucking good. He’s right, he always looks good—it’s one of the most annoying things about him—but it’s a little insane right now. If it wasn’t for Ryan, and the promise you’d made to attend the party, you’d have taken him up on that stay here and have fun idea. But for now, you’re still allowed to look. Scan over his broad shoulders, his muscles rippling in his shirt, and you want to pull him down by his suspenders to kiss him all over his stupid, handsome face, and he’d trimmed his beard last night so it’s soft and fuck you love him and it’s driving you out of your mind- 

You almost trip as Ben stops outside the dining hall—you hadn’t even realized you’d arrived—and his arm shoots out, wrapping around you and steadying your body. 

“Careful, Sunshine.” He grumbles, not moving away as you regain your balance. “You said no blood, and that fucking counts you.” 

You wrinkle your nose at him. “It does not-“ 

“Yes, it does.” Ben’s snap is firm, his big, warm hand squeezing your waist. “You get hurt, we leave. Got it?” 

“Fine.” 

His eyes narrow, and he bends down to your eye level. Try again. 

I’ve got it, Ben draws back up, and you lower your voice between your heads to a mumble. You massive fucking cunt- 

He snorts, scooping you up into his arms, swallowing your small yelp with a kiss. Brat. Ready? 

Put me down, you whack Ben’s chest, and he knows you don’t mean it—the asshole is big and warm and this is the safest place in the world so you never want to be anywhere but here— because his glower doesn’t waver. 

If you’re going to fucking hurt yourself- 

I’m not going to hurt myself, Benjamin. You drop your head onto his shoulder, giving him your sweetest smile. You won’t let me. 

Damn right I won’t, he scans over your face, and slowly lowers you back down, keeping his hand in yours. Let’s get this shit over with. 

The decorating of the dining hall is abysmal. Frenchie had spray painted some bats on the walls—which had to be some kind of health hazard, but you were all way past that—and Annie had covered exactly three tables in spooky-themed cloth, but that was the extent of the efforts. Everyone seemed to be trying to make up for it with costumes, though. Even Butcher was dressed up. Granted, he did mostly just look like himself with no shirt, but it only took one assessing scan of his black trench coat, sunglasses, and gun to figure out what he was going for. 

“Terminator?” You ask as you and Ben approach the drink table—two bottles of sprite someone put red food-coloring in and a bowl of punch that you really hope Frenchie didn’t spike—and Butcher nods. 

“Right on the money, Love.” He scans you over with a frown. “Fuckin hell are you supposed to be.” 

“Evie, from the Mummy.” 

Butcher's eyes turn to Ben. “And that makes this cunt-“ 

“Rick.” Ben grunts, tugging you a little closer to his side, his glare on Butcher a very obvious, violent challenge. 

No blood, Benjamin. 

I haven’t done a fucking thing- 

It’s a preemptive no blood. If Butcher’s a dick, no killing him. 

Butcher opens his mouth, a mocking grin covering his face and Ben tenses at your side, but with either the best or worst timing in the world, MM walks thoughtlessly between them to the table. 

MM glances over to you and Ben as he pours a drink. “The Mummy?” 

“Yeah, and you’re-“ 

“Dread Pirate Roberts.” Ben’s voice is so confident that the look of exasperation on MM’s face almost makes you snort. 

“I’m Zorro, motherfucker.” 

Butcher takes in MM’s mask and black cloth outfit, and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m with Soldier Boy on this one, Mate. You’re a fuckin pirate.” 

“Lucky it’s not up to you assholes, it’s my costume-“

Ben squeezes your hand as Butcher and MM devolve in further argument, and when you glance up at him his attention is fixed on the food table. I’m fucking starving- 

Go eat, then. 

You’d meant for him to go get food and come back, but Ben pulls you with him as he stomps over to the food, only dropping your hand when he realizes he needs both to fill up his plate. 

Why are these hot dogs so fucking small. 

You follow his glare to the table, and bite your tongue to stifle your giggle. They’re pigs in a blanket. And you’ve definitely had them before 

Ben ignores the second half of your sentence. Are they good. 

I think you’d like them- 

That’s all it takes, and Ben’s plate becomes half covered pigs in a blanket. He drops down onto one of the empty tables—watching you carefully until you sit at his side—and then begins to stuff them into his face until his cheeks are puffed out. 

You can’t look at him or you’ll snort—which means he’ll probably glare at you, which will make you laugh more, and it will somehow end with Ben fucking you on the table, in front of everyone—so you scoot closer to his side and wave to Kimiko as she walks into the dining hall, wearing large yellow skirt and blue top, a large red bow in her hair. 

Snow White? You sign, and she nods with a wide smile.  

Frenchie sewed it for me. She spins around before sitting across from you. He’s coming, he wants to fix his cape. 

His cape? 

He’s something called a Frodo. Kimiko glances at Ben, still chewing, and back to you. Is he okay, he looks angry… Kimiko’s hands pause for a second. Angrier. Than usual. 

He’s grumpy. You shrug. And that’s just his face whenever he eats. He’s like a mean old dog. 

You love him so much. 

“What are you talking about,” Ben grumbles, crumbs falling onto his beard. You sigh, reaching up to wipe them off. 

“Don’t speak with your mouth full-“ 

“Answer my fucking question-“ 

“We were talking about you, Benjamin.” You hum. “And how grumpy you are.” 

“I’m not fucking grumpy-“ 

“You’re so grumpy.” You kiss his cheek, and feel rough affection spark in his chest, his scowl wavering. “And I still love you.” 

“I love you too,” Ben mutters, pressing his leg to yours and returning his attention his food, eating slightly slower. 

You resume your conversation with Kimiko, and give up on explaining what a Frodo is when Frenchie drops at Her side, giving a proud, sweeping gesture to his costume. 

“Good, non? Certainly much better than Butcher only taking off his shirt-“ 

“The fuck are you, an elf?” 

Frenchie frowns at Ben, “I am Frodo fucking Baggins. See,” he raises his bare foot up for you and Ben to see. “No shoes. A hobbit.” 

Ben makes a sour face, opening his mouth to say something that’s likely not very nice, so you punch him in the stomach. 

He doesn’t flinch, but shoots you a glare. I didn’t fucking do anything- 

You were going to call Frenchie’s costume stupid.  

It is fucking stupid. He’s wearing a cape, Sunshine, that’s dumb- 

I know, but it’s the costume. Let’s move, Pretty Boy, before you yell at Kimiko for wearing a dress when she’s Snow White. 

Ben paused. Why the fuck is she Snow White. I’ve seen her bash peoples brain in- 

She says because she wants to take a nap and likes animals and music.  

Ben seems to accept that answer, his glare turning to his empty plate, and tugs you up with him as he stands. “You promised me burgers-“ 

“I did not.” You let him loop his arm through yours, but hold him at the table. “I said Benjamin, if you want to grill burgers, I’m still banned from using the grill but I’ll sit with you.” 

He pauses, looking back to the half empty food table before grunting, “Do you want a burger.” 

You give him an amused look. “Do you want a burger?” 

“Of course I want a fucking burger-“ 

“Then sure, I’ll have one-“ 

You’re cut off with a slight squeak as Ben starts to move, yanking you to his side without breaking pace, but slinging his arm over your shoulders and half holding you against him until you’re on steady feet. 

When you reach the grill Ben helps you up onto the counter—keeping one hand steady on your thigh until you’re settled—and begins to move around, prepping the grill with an almost violent focus.  

He’s barely started when you see Ryan—bright eyes and dressed in a droopy white tunic and loose pants—bouncing over to you, a very sheepish Hughie-Mario and smiling Annie-Samus behind him. 

Ryan says your name, and Ben glances up, movements slowing as he very obviously eavesdrops. “Look!” Ryan gestures to his outfit. “I’m Luke Skywalker!” 

“Yeah, you are.” You nod, returning Ryan’s smile and glancing over him to Hughie. “No lightsaber, dude?” 

Hughie raises his hand that isn’t holding Annie’s to display a blue plastic lightsaber, and frowns at it. “It’s the wrong color, but it lights up, and blue is still a Jedi color. Actually, blue was originally supposed to be Luke’s lightsaber color, but green tested better-“ 

“Fuck yeah it did,” Ben mutters, returning to your side with his arms full of frozen packaged hamburgers.  “Blue’s a fucking dogshit, pussy color-“ 

You kick his thigh, keeping your eyes on Ryan. “But a good color for a lightsaber, right Benjamin?” 

Ben rolls his eyes, but grumbles an agreement. 

“Are you making burgers?” Ryan shuffles to Ben’s side, looking over the grill with wide eyes. 

“Grilling.” Ben grunts. “I don’t make the paddies, kid, I fucking grill them.” 

“Can you, um, can you show me how?” 

You watch them carefully as Ben freezes, his whole body tensing and his grip on the spatula growing white-knuckled for only a second before the whole thing passes, and he nods. “Pay attention, because I’m not repeating anything. And no fucking lightsabers near my grill.” 

You don’t bother teasing him with the fact that it’s not Ben’s grill, it’s everyone’s grill, because Ryan’s eyes light up and that’s what this was about. Ryan feeling cared about, and watching Ben move around and nodding along with his instructions before tentatively flipping a burger, all with an eager face. It was about how when they finished Ryan shuffled up to you with the burger Ben had let him grill himself, nervously asking if you wanted it.  

You’d never taken a plate so fast. But when you start to scoot off the counter Ben’s hand lands on your thigh, holding you in place.

Benjamin- 

He ignores your voice in his head, his attention focused purely on Ryan. “Where do you want to eat, kid?” 

“Um,” Ryan swallowed, his face a little red. “Here? It’s quiet-“ 

Ben’s hand slid up your leg, moving you a little further back onto the counter as he leaned against it himself, looping his arm around your waist as he places his plate down, holding the burger with his free hand as he examines Ryan with a drawn brow. “You need a chair.” 

Ryan blinked. “No, thank you. It’s okay to eat here?” 

“I don’t give a fuck-“ 

“Yes, we can.” You lean yourself against Ben’s back, smiling at Ryan as you kicking Ben’s leg in a subtle movement to shut him up. “Are you liking fake-Halloween?” 

Ryan nods, face eager once more. “Yeah! The costumes are, um, really fun, and Butcher said I can have extra dessert-“ 

Ben freezes mid bite of his burger, roughly swallowing the food in his mouth before grunting, “do you not get fucking candy.” 

“No, Aunt Grace says it’s not good for my teeth-“ 

“Fuck that, your teeth with be fine.” Ben glares around the kitchen before jerking his head to a cabinet. “There’s a damn year’s worth of chocolate in there. Take some.” 

“I, um-“ 

“Ryan.” Ben snaps, holding Ryan’s nervous gaze. “You want chocolate, eat some fucking chocolate. You can’t get cavities, and if Mallory and Butcher get fucking whiny about it, I’ll deal with it.” 

“Okay.” Ryan mumbles, glancing over at the cabinet. “Will anyone notice-“ 

“It’s Kimiko’s,” Ben mutters, tugging you a little closer. “She told me, and we’re the only ones that know about it. You’re good, kid, don’t lose your fucking mind over something so stupid.” 

As Ryan shuffles over to the cabinet—looking back to you and Ben with a bright, shocked face at the truly abominable amount of chocolate in the cabinet—you bump Ben’s shoulder with yours. 

What did you threaten Kimiko with to know about her secret chocolate stash? 

Ben rolls his eyes. She fucking told me, Sunshine. For you.  

Oh. You blink, titling your head at him. Why didn’t she tell me? 

I don’t fucking know, maybe she knew you’d fold and tell whoever looked sad- 

I would not fold-

Ben scoffs. You’d fold in a fucking second. Those pussies would have a bad day and you’d start handing chocolate like goddamn candy. 

It is candy, Benjamin. You wrinkle your nose at him, nodding over to Ryan. And you just folded pretty fucking fast yourself-

Shut up. 

Nope, you caved without Ryan even asking- 

Ben’s arm around you tugs you forward into a slow, gentle kiss. Brat. 

Cunt. You pull back, smiling at him. I love you, you massive fucking idiot-

You love my massive fucking something, darling. Ben winks at you, and you only get to flush as Ryan returns, his pockets stuffed and overflowing with chocolate. 

You’re here for another few hours. You think you could spend a lifetime here, listening to Ryan tell you about how Hughie had helped him get his Luke Skywalker costume right—the key is the shoes, and you have no idea what that means but Ryan sounds certain, so you nod—and watching Ben swallow his grumbles about how Star Wars is fucking dumb as cock for Ryan’s sake. You really hope you make it to this October, and the one after that, and the one after that. You want to spend a lifetime like this, with Ryan’s face full of joy and his words coming out easy instead of unsure. With Ben half wrapped around you, his outfit and face and everything making your brain go a little haywire. If October comes without pain, Ben will be wearing that again. And you’ll have more time to have fun with him—and his mouth, and his tongue, and his rough hands on your body and his hard cock wherever he wants it—before doing this again. Next time, you’ll get Ryan more candy, and a properly colored lightsaber.  

And if another year passes, this could be your whole life. A hundred more Halloweens—probably more, given the whole immortality thing—with Ben looking stupidly handsome at your side and everything being about easy, simple joy. And when you look at Ben’s stoic face and feel his love—hot and zealous and focused in your chest—you don’t think he’d argue with you. He’d be just as happy as you are to do this forever, together, maybe joined by more bright-eyed children he can teach to grill and give too much chocolate. Countless costumes for him to grumble are stupid, but wear nonetheless.  

It would be really nice to have a life like this. 

End Note: I spent an embarrassing amount of time choosing everyone's costumes, but I think I nailed it. Jensen Ackles playing Soldier Boy dressed as Rick O'Connell from the Mummy save me. Save me Jensen Ackles playing Soldier Boy dressed as Rick O'Connell from the Mummy.

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@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles @brtodd

[chukys-mouthguard]

To Have and To Hold

3.1k words

genre: smut

featuring: cole caufield x female reader

warnings: 18+ content, minors DNI

summary: cole can’t help but thinking about all the things he wants to do to you at brendan gallagher’s wedding

“Cole! Do you have my bag?”

“I’ve had it in my hands for the last 20 minutes, you know since we were leaving in 5 minutes, 20 minutes ago!”

Rolling your eyes at your reflection in the mirror, you put the finishing touches to your makeup before spritzing some setting spray to your face. Fanning yourself before opening the bathroom door to find Cole leaning against the dresser, your bag in his hand as his jaw was now practically on the floor.

“Babe, you can’t wear that.”

“Why!?”

Your face immediately scrunching to a look of disappointment, thinking you’d looked beautiful in the light blue colored dress accompanied by your hair and makeup that clearly took longer than anticipated.

“Because I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off you! And that’s gonna be a little bit of a problemmm!”

Cole pulled you into his chest, kissing you before teasingly biting at your lips. His hands roaming from your waist to your ass. Lightly smacking it before biting his own lip in approval.

“Easy there tiger! This is Gally’s big day, please don’t ruin it by thinking with your dick and not your brain!”

Lightly poking him in the temple, you grabbed your bag from him and led the way out the door and to the car. Cole trailing behind, purposefully slow to be sure he got to admired how amazing you looked in your dress. Catching his gaze as you climbed in the front seat, you scowled at him.

“Cole Caufield, pick your jaw up off the driveway and let’s go!”

He quickly jogged to the car, laughing as he climbed in to join you.

“Sorry baby, can you blame me for staring? You look fucking sexy.”

He leaned over the center console, pulling your chin close as he kissed you. What you thought was set to be a quick peck, Cole instead made a battle between your tongues for dominance. A smirk on your lips as you pulled away.

“What did I say? No thinking with your cock. Now let’s go, we are late!”

Cole’s hand rested firmly on the bit of your thigh that was exposed by the slit of your dress. His thumb tracing circles on your skin as his eyes were fixated on the road. Surely trying to control his thoughts that were all but holy. Though you couldn’t say you hated the thought of Cole being driven mad all night that he couldn’t get his hands on you. Seeing the way his body tensed as he tried to surpress the idea of pulling over and taking you in the backseat. The risk of missing the ceremony not one he cared about at the moment.

But he knew he’d never live it down if he fucked up this day, it being one of the best days of his teammates lives, and he needed to be there. So despite his urges, despite how good you looked in your dress, and how much better you’d look out of it. Cole forced himself to ignore the thoughts.

Or so you thought.

Settling down in your seats for dinner, with Cole already several drinks in, his hand immediately found its way back to the slit of your dress that exposed your thigh oh so tastefully. Enough for Cole to hypothesize what thong you’d opted for underneath.

Lace, that was obvious. But the color, that’s where Cole almost always got it wrong. Was it blue to match your dress? Or did you switch it up for something different, maybe red? God, he could only hope it was red.

“Cole…hellooo?”

You’d caught him staring at his plate while his thumb danced over the skin of your thigh, knowing he’d been letting his intrusive thoughts take over. Slightly rolling your eyes at him playfully before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“If you trying to guess the color of my panties, you’re wrong.”

Cole couldn’t help but blush, embarrassed that he was so easy to read and predictable. Pulling his hand from your thigh he tried to shake his thoughts and enjoy dinner. Though your comment wasn’t helping.

He was wrong? But he hadn’t even guessed. Was he that historically bad at guessing what color you had on that you just knew he’d be wrong this time?

Shifting in his seat he tried to disguise of any growing issues in his dress pants, only earning a laughing from you as you loved knowing the effect you had on him. His mind was surely running rampant after your last comment, and his reactions always made it so fun to tease him.

“Dance with me baby?”

Wrapping your arms around Cole’s neck as he sat and chatted with his teammates, you peppered his face with a few kisses. The alcohol in your system had your skin warm to the touch, which Cole relished in for a moment as his hand traced the skin of your forearm before taking a hand in yours.

Laughing as he turned slightly to face you, not needing his teammates to hear his response.

“If I dance with you, then we are going t’get kicked out because I’m gonna need t’take you right there on that dance floor in front of everyone.”

His eyes were intoxicated with lust more than anything as they looked you up and down. Staying a bit longer on your chest that was in better view as you were leaned down to talk to him. His tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip as his hand now rested at your hip. Wishing he could just pull you into his lap, let you feel how hard he’d become from thinking about you all night.

“Suit yourself then babe, have fun watching!”

Kissing his lips, you made sure to linger a bit. Your hand caressing his cheek as you opted to dip your tongue past his bottom lip he just so conveniently teased you with prior. Cole not bothering to fight for dominance as he was fine letting you take charge. Smirking into the kiss as you lightly tugged at his soft curls. The taste of his cocktails on your tastebuds as you pulled away, shooting him a wink before you headed to the dance floor.

Cole paying attention to the way your dress perfectly framed your ass, hugged your curves just enough but not too tight. The way your legs looked, especially the one peeking through the slit.

His eyes were focused solely on you as he sipped his drink. His thoughts surely out of control now as he needed you, bad. Point, blank, period.

He needed your dress on the floor of the hotel room, to finally see what set of lingerie you were wearing, to be able to release his strained cock from its confinements of these god forsaken dress pants.

The way your thin straps of your dress fell off your shoulders as you danced around, holding part of your dress in one hand so as to not trip. But giving Cole a much better view of your legs. Your tits lightly bouncing only making him imagine what they’d be doing later once he’d finally gotten to have his way with you.

His hand falling to his pants to try and hide his growing issue, knowing that he couldn’t wait much longer or the two of you would be fucking in front of everyone. Surely not how Gally would have imagined his big day to go, and not at all something Cole was willing to attempt. Sure he’d occasionally get handsy in front of his teammates or the crowd at the wedding, but you were Cole’s, and his alone. He’d never dare let anyone see the things he did to you, mostly because they wouldn’t believe the man Cole turned into when it came to sex with you.

Nine times out of ten, Cole liked to take charge. The way his dirty talk and direction would fall from his lips was a harsh contrast to the smiley boy everyone saw. His cockiness and competitiveness cranked up to an eleven in the bedroom, and it was fucking hot. Though he would occasionally have his nights where he let you take charge, following your direction, and doing things to your liking.

However, tonight was not one of those nights.

He knew you had been making it a point to tease him throughout the night. The way you tossed your hair back over your shoulder, exposing your neck and chest to him when intently listening to conversation at the dinner table. The way your hand rested higher than normal on his thigh during the ceremony. And the comment about him guessing the color of your lingerie, which still was on his mind.

As he took the last few sips of his drink, he’d seen enough. He’d been patient as long as possible. But with his dress pants ready to burst at the seams, he knew it was time to call it a night.

Grabbing his suit jacket, he conveniently draped it over his arm to hang in front of him, hiding himself from any possible onlookers. Making his way to you on the dance floor before wrapping an arm around your waist from behind.

“You ready to go mamas?”

The pet name rolling off his tongue like the sweetest song you’d ever heard, sending shockwaves all through your body. But most notably making your pussy throb. The way his voice was slightly hoarse, the sound of intoxication mixed with lust. Everything about it had you practically dripping for him right there on the floor.

He smirked as he knew the word had you melting for him, it being something he’d held onto for situations like these where he wasn’t able to hold himself back much longer.

Taking his hand you exited the floor, Cole having already grabbed your bag from the table, not allowing for any more wasted time as he pulled you from the ballroom.

As you waited for the elevator he couldn’t contain himself as his hand gripped your ass while the other grabbed a hold of your chin, tilting your head away from him so he could kiss and bite at your neck. His growing problem in his pants brushing against you as you softly moaned at the much needed attention.

The ding of the elevators arrival snapping you two from your public display you’d been giving. Quickly entering, choosing your floor, making sure to close the doors before anyone else could join.

Cole's lips were immediately on yours as his hips pinned you to the wall. Grinding his hard on into you as you moaned into the kiss, hands tangling in his hair as you fought his tongue for dominance. But as one of his hands came up to your throat, lightly choking you to gain control, you knew tonight Cole would be in charge. Not that you were opposed, sex with Cole when he was needy like this often was the best. The way he’d take control and turn into a different man in the bedroom always something you found so hot. His boy next door image would surely be erased if anyone ever heard the things that rolled off his tongue while he fucked you from behind.

The ding of the elevator coming once more as you’d reached your floor, neither one of you ready to pull away from the kiss, but Cole finally caved. Taking your hand in his as he was practically running down the hall while you tried to keep up. He fumbled slightly with the key card before finally pushing the door open, picking you up and carrying you inside before he tossed you on the bed.

Immediately doing away with his dress shirt while you crawled to the edge, taking care of his belt and dress pants. His eyes watched as you painfully teased him, taking your time with his belt, then the button and zipper. A groan leaving his lips as he finally discarded them, letting his hard cock freely move in his briefs as he joined you on the bed.

His chiseled arms on either side of your body as he leaned down to kiss you again, this time a soft peck as he tucked some hair behind your ear. His fingers resting on your chin as he smiled.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby.”

Any blush that was forming on your cheeks surely wouldn’t be noticed as the cocktails had already taken care of that. Cole’s cock brushing against you as he began to kiss down your neck then to your chest, where he made sure to nip and bite slightly at the exposed skin.

“Ready to show me what color you're wearing mamas?”

Again that word sent shock waves through you, and you could feel yourself grow wetter because of it. But you smirked as Cole helped you to your feet, taking care of the zipper at your back, turning to find him impatiently sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Cole, I told you that you’re wrong. Whatever the guess is, you're wrong.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

He leaned back on his hands, a cocky grin plastered on his face as he questioned you. Eyes watching as you slowly slipped out of your dress revealing you’d opted for no panties this evening. Well, that was once you noticed how fixated Cole’s thoughts had become and you excused yourself for the restroom to take them off and ditch them in your bag.

He watched as you guided the dress the floor, slightly bending over, ass facing Cole as your legs slightly spread. Revealing to him just how wet you already were. His hand immediately falling to his cock to stroke it over his briefs. The urge to thrust into you right then and there was tempting, but he knew he wanted to get you back for all the teasing you’d done.

Cole picked you up and brought you into his lap, your lips crashing with his as his hands gripped your ass. Grinding you against his cock that was desperately craving to be released from the confinement of his briefs.

“You have fun teasing me all night?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about baby.”

A playful smirk on your lips as Cole raised an eyebrow at you, flipping you over to lay you down as he did himself of his briefs. Letting his cock slap his stomach before stroking himself in preparation.

He stood at the edge of the bed, his body lightly glistening with sweat as he stroked himself. Staring down at you with lust filled eyes and a cocky grin. You were in for it, but you didn’t seem to care.

“Mmm, so I should tease you right back then huh?”

Pushing open your legs he found his place between them, licking his fingers before trailing them up your slit. Relishing the feeling of just how wet you were for him before taking a moment to taste you. Sucking his fingers clean as you bit your lip, scooting closer to him by the second. Desperately needing him to have his way with you already.

“Please Cole.”

The whine from your lips only urging him to continue, taking his cock and repeating the action of his fingers. Tracing your slit painfully slow, before slightly pushing past your folds, only to pull himself out immediately.

“Shit Cole, please. Just fuck me already. I need you.”

Your hands reached for him in any attempt to get what you wanted. Cole slid you up on the bed, making room for him to join you as his lips found yours once more in a kiss. All while he continued to tease with his cock, enjoying every whimper that fell from your lips. Then without warning he finally thrusts into you, not able to withstand the teasing anymore. Your back arching off the bed as your nails dug into his bicep.

The two of you moaning in unison, Cole pausing as he bottomed out, giving you time to adjust to the feeling before he continued.

Your legs wrapped around his waist to allow him to go deeper, his lips attacking your breasts as he kissed and bit the skin. Fingers tangled tight in his hair as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Oh my god Cole, please don’t stop.”

“Yeah? Feels good baby?”

Nodding your head you bit your lip as you could feel your walls tightening around him. He could see on your face you were close, but wanted to really work you through your high.

One hand lightly gripping your throat as the other fell to your clit, quickly circling the nub as you felt your legs shake. The overstimulation becoming almost unbearable as your felt your mind going blank.

“Come on baby, I know you wanna cum for me.”

His words pushing you even closer to the edge as you couldn’t hold back your moans, breathy as his hand left you throat to grip your hips as he you was close. His thrusts fast and sloppy as he couldn’t hold out much longer.

Cole grunting as his fingers dug at the skin of your hips, bruises surely already forming, while yours pulled at the sheets. Your release finally overtaking you.

“Fuck Cole, I’m cumming!”

“Me too baby. Fuck-“

His lips enveloped yours once again, the two of you swallowing each other's moans as you rode out your highs. Taking your time to catch your breath before bothering to move.

Cole quickly retreating to the bathroom to grab a towel, reappearing to clean you up as he places kisses along your thighs. Your body slightly flinching as you were still sensitive to his touch.

He tossed you a tshirt while he threw on some shorts, pulling back the covers to wrap you up in his embrace. Placing a kiss to your head as your fingers traced the crescents your nails had left in his arm. A giggle leaving your lips as you were imagining the comments he’d receive from the guys in the morning.

“You think Gally will notice we left early?”

Cole shook his head, eyes shut as he held you tight. “No chance, he was so hammered he’s lucky if he remembers who he married by the end of the night.”

The two of you laid in each other's arms as the tick of the clock was the only sound filling the room. Cole’s breath slowing down as you knew he was falling asleep in your arms.

“So, I guess you too tired for the after party then huh?”

Cole laughed in the crook of your neck, rolling over as he pulled you into his lap. Your hands resting on his chest as you smiled down at him.

“If you’re not too tired yourself, then something tells me we need to have an after party of our own.”

[athenagc94]

Dear Daddy Long Legs - Chapter 7

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

I'm also posting this story on AO3 which you can find here.

This is one of the first scenes I imagined when drafting this fic, so I've been very excited to share it with you guys.

Also sidenote: Y'all thought I was gonna leave out my other hyper-fixation? Have fun reading about these poor saps bonding over the Odyssey :)

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Chapter 7

The scrape of steel on steel jolted you awake. Immediately followed by a dull, throbbing at the base of your neck that sent a shock down your spine. You fell back with a small grunt as you closed your eyes once more. Starbursts painted the back of your eyelids. A train passed outside, rattling the framed pictures on the walls. It was a familiar sound that lulled you to sleep every night.

You would have remembered coming home. Right?

Carefully, you pushed yourself onto your elbows and tried again. The light on your nightstand was offensively bright. A searing prong shoved through both eyes would have been less painful than whatever this was.

“Too bright?” A voice modulator crackled. “Sorry. I’ll turn it off.”

Jesus Christ. This couldn’t be happening.

You opened your eyes despite the pain. It took a second to adjust to the darkness, but when you did, you saw him. Red Hood crouched by your head; his shoulders curled to appear less imposing which only worked insofar that he didn’t look like he wanted to kill you. It was still unnerving, having him this close. The scent of old leather and motor oil clung to his collar. You wrinkled your nose, overwhelmed.

He shifted back onto his knees, the gesture oddly shy. “Uh, hey.”

“Why are you in my apartment?”

“There was a hostage situation at Wayne Manor. You took a hit to the back of the head. I decided to bring you back here.”

His words took a second to fully sink in, but when they did, you ghosted your fingers along the soft patch of skin at the nape of your neck. It was tender to the touch—bruised for sure—but as far as injuries went, it could have been far worse.

Several memories resurfaced and slotted together like pieces in a puzzle. Mark flirting with you over a crate of booze, a knuckle tattoo, the crack of a gun, and fucking Brendan.

“I’m an idiot.”

Hood lifted his hand as if he might touch you, but he hesitated just before he made contact. You both stared at his outstretched hand, a heavy silence between you. His fingers curled as he let his hand fall. He cleared his throat. “None of this was your fault.”

“No, part of it was definitely my fault,” you admitted, “I wouldn’t have taken a blow to the head if I hadn’t drawn the shooters attention away from the target. I tried to play hero, and it backfired.”

“You did that on purpose.” His modulator pitched.

You doubled over, gripping your head in your hands. “Ugh.”

“Sorry.” He softened his voice for your sake. It only helped insofar that he wasn’t causing active distress anymore. “Why would you do that on purpose?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think. I just acted.” You groaned and fell back against your pillow. “Funny thing is, I should have been in class, but my boss called me in to train the new recruits.”

Recruits who ended up being members of a notorious gang. What had your life become?

“I should have told him to pound sand.”

“You skipped cl—” He stopped himself before he caused another pitch in his modulator. Instead, he fumed quietly, each breath sharper than the last as he curled and uncurled fists.

While this wasn’t your first lecture from him, his reaction surprised you. Hood didn’t strike you as the scholarly type—not that you claimed to know anything about him. For all you know, he could have a PhD in political science or medicine. Most of the supervillains in Gotham were well-known academics. The same could apply to morally gray vigilantes.

Finally, he said, “Why would you skip class? Couldn’t someone else take your shift instead?”

“Our veteran server quit, so it had to be me,” you countered sharply, “I’m also not in a position when I can turn down an extra shift.” With a quick wave, you motioned to your shitty studio. It wasn’t much, but you tried. He glanced around as if he were seeing it for the first time. You supposed there were more pressing things to focus on than your tastes in thrifted décor.

“Why would you bring me home? I should have stayed at the manor until the paramedics arrived?”

He fiddled with his gloved fingers. You clocked the bad habit soon after meeting him. Watching someone as comically large as Red Hood get nervous was oddly endearing, not that you were ever going to tell him that. He’d either die of embarrassment or shoot you for pointing it out.

“Your, uh, coworker mentioned you didn’t have family in the area, so I assumed you didn’t want to pay for an ambulance ride and an overnight stay at the hospital. And you’d probably hate it even more if Bruce Wayne paid for it given you…” He made a vague, flourishing gesture with his hands. “Well, considering the conversations we’ve had.”

He caught on faster than you expected. You never imagined the person who understood you was also the one who spent his nights dual-wielding guns whilst parading around Gotham. A bitter laugh crept into your throat, but you smothered the urge, knowing the effort would make your headache worse.

“Alright, you were right to make that assumption.”

“I bet you’re regretting skipping class, huh?”

You shot him with a narrow look that told him to drop it. “No need to rub it in. I didn’t want to skip.”

From the tension curling in his shoulders, you sensed he had more to say on the matter. The air fizzled and sparked between you as you waited for him to speak, but he resisted the urge. Good. You weren’t in the mood for another lecture, and he seemed to sense that.

“Besides, I think I’m already paying the price. This was a one-time thing and now, I’ll have to miss a few more days while I recover. I don’t want to fall behind on my readings and coursework, but here we are.”

Your temples throbbed, despite the reprieve of darkness. Focusing too long on any one thing made the room spin. It was nauseating. As much as you wanted to escape in a book, that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

“What are you reading?” he asked after a moment.

You motioned toward the stack on your kitchen table. Most of the books had been thrifted from the shop down the street. Your scholarship didn’t cover reading materials, and you balked at the prices at the school store.

“The Red Tent for my women’s history class and The Odyssey for my English class.”

“Which translation of The Odyssey?”

“Robert Fitzgerald.”

He made a small noise of disgust, amplified by the modulator. “He translated it well, I guess, but I prefer Emily Wilson’s take on the epic. It’s creative, but there’s a certain musicality to her prose that I admire.”

You… didn’t know how to respond to that.

Red Hood was the last person you expected to have an opinion on classical literature. Sure, it kind of made sense the longer you talked with him, but the vibes of tortured poet and rugged vigilante didn’t quite mesh in your mind. In fact, you were fairly certain this was all a concussion-induced dream. It just happened to include Red Hood.

And if this was a dream, like you assumed it was, there was no harm in playing along.

“You’ve read multiple translations of the Odyssey?”

“Duh. At least three in English, another in Spanish, and one in German. Hasn’t everyone?” He shoved off your bed and walked toward your kitchen table. “Comparison is a crucial element when it comes to translated works. People interpret language differently and it’s fun to read those different interpretations.”

He grabbed the book from your pile and flipped through it gingerly, almost reverent in the way he handled it. “Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story of that man skilled in all way of contending, the wanderer, harried for years on end, after he plundered the stronghold of the proud height of—”

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you with your readings. Take it from me, reading with a concussion fucking sucks.”

“Oh.”

Oh—that was the best response you could come up with?

You stared at your hands so he wouldn’t see your blush. An offer like that was, well, it toed a line. Which line? You couldn’t exactly say, but there had to be one given the Red Hood had offered to read to you so casually. The man was a walking contradiction of himself with the broad frame that barely concealed the raw awkwardness that lay beneath. It felt familiar, but your mind was too foggy to draw a connection.

This had to be a dream. You refused to believe anything else. There wasn’t a reality where Red Hood, or anyone for that matter, offered to read The Odyssey outside your dreams.

Fuck it.

Might as well test the bounds of your dreams.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but it’s kind of hard to listen with your…” You motioned toward his helmet. “The modulator is a little hard on the ears.”

He gave you a long look. It was moments like this you wished you could see the expression beneath. Maybe this was the line. Asking him to remove his helmet wasn’t just a risk to him, but to you as well. Anonymity to a certain degree protected you. You understood that, and yet you asked anyway.

“I’m sorry,” you started, “Forget I asked.”

A lot of things could have happened next. You shuffled through all of them in the span of a few seconds, none of which were all that pleasant. Him ducking behind the couch and laying flat on the floor was not one of the scenarios you pictured.

You sat a little straighter, only able to see his heavy combat boots sticking out from one end. “Uh… Hood?”

Several seconds passed before he said, “Is this better?”

There was no modulator this time. His words weren’t even muffled. His natural voice settled low in his chest, punching on the vowels and softened the consonants. A pleasant zing rippled through your blood.

The man had a prominent Jersey accent. While not uncommon for the area, confirming it thrilled you more than you expected. Another piece to the puzzle that was Red Hood.

The realization hit you harder than the gun had. You muffled a gasp in your palm. He removed his helmet... for you. You had no intention of seeing the man hidden beneath the mask. Knowing that he trusted you at all made you a little light-headed.

“Much better.”

“Right. Okay.” He paused. “Can I—not that I don’t, but can I trust you not to—”

“I promise not to look,” you assured him.

What went unsaid hung thick in the air and threatened to smother you. You settled on your side, pointedly ignoring the fact that Red Hood was laying on your apartment floor. As far as dreams went, this one was bizarre, but the thought of waking up and being forced to face reality hit harder than you expected.

Selfishly, you didn’t want it to end, and that frightened you.

“Now, where were we.” You heard the shuffle pages before he said, “Here we go. He saw the townlands and learned the minds of many distant men, and weathered...”

You closed your eyes to focus on the mental pictures he painted with words alone. His lilting voice read with the confidence of someone who’d read these passages a hundred times over. And maybe he had. It was easy to get lost in the story—in n the inviting warmth of his honeyed words. It wasn’t long before you succumbed to them like a siren’s song.

It was unclear when exactly you drifted off, but when you startled awake a few hours later, your apartment existed in the stillness of dawn. Thin strips of sunlight filtered through your blinds. You blinked blearily, a headache pressing down on your temples as you sat up.

As you peered around your apartment, deciding where the dream ended and reality began, you settled on the book left on your nightstand. The Odyssey. You grabbed it, flipping open to the spot that someone had marked with a crumpled Bat Burger receipt. It certainly wasn’t yours.

You flipped it over to find a hastily scrawled note on the back in red ink. Take it easy. Rest. Drink water. Pain meds as needed—just don’t overdo it. I left off on page 29, line 317. –RH

RH.

Red Hood.

Not a dream then...

All of it was real. He brought you home and watched over you until you woke up. He read books and had opinions on classic literature. He took off his helmet for you. Your flush bled down your neck and settled in your chest. That meant his damn accent was real too.

Fucked. That’s what you were.

Burying your face in your book, you flopped back on the bed. The knot at the nape of your neck twinged, but it failed to put you out of your misery.

If Hood knew what was good for him, he’d stay away. If you knew what was good for you, you’d do the same. So, you did what you always do with problems you didn’t want to deal with. It went in a box, and you tucked away in the far recesses of your mind to deal with on another day.

[bookofthegear]

You gaze at the turning gear for a good minute, wondering if you could wing it with a rock…but no. That’s probably not the best idea. You hate to be turned back in the first five minutes, though, so you start looking for a way through the tangle of roots.

If there’s a way to the opposite wall, you can’t find it. You manage to work yourself a couple feet along, hugging one of the gears, into a kind of hollow in the tangle, but then a riot of roots closes off the path. Maybe if you had an axe or were less than three inches wide, you could get through, but you didn’t bring an axe and you insist on having bones, so that’s out.

Jimmy tries to help. “I can’t tell if there’s a doorway through the roots on the wall. There’s a grate on the floor, but it’s really dark down there. I’m sorry. Maybe if I was an owl...” You reassure him that you prefer him to an owl. (Attempts to breed owl companions for adventurers largely foundered on the fact that most of an owl’s skull contains eyeball, not brain, and attempts to teach them interpretive dance generally ended with someone taking a claw to the face.)

You work your way back out, dusty and covered in bits of bark. For your first room in the labyrinth, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

As you turn to leave, you are startled to discover a large, elaborate painting on the wall, half-hidden by roots. It appears to be a portrait of a saint.

[dandylion240]

Ethan stood awkwardly in the corner of the room. He held a drink in his hands that he took occasional sips from. He turned in time to take the full effect of the angry glare Realyn was directing at him. Hastily he gulped the remainder of his drink hoping to leave before she could approach him.

“It’s good to see you” she smiled at him in a way he was sure was meant to be reassuring but looked more predatory in nature.

“Err” his eyes swept the room hoping someone would come to rescue him.

“How’s school” a deep voice asked from behind him.

“Fine” he mumbled turning around wishing he hadn’t let Evan talk him into coming. He could see in the older man’s eyes the question he wanted to ask. “I’m sorry. He hasn’t contacted me either.” An all too familiar feeling swept through him. Guilt. The disappointed slump of the man’s shoulders reinforced his belief that he was indeed the worst person alive. “I’m sorry” he repeated unsure what else he could say.

Sighing Riley nodded “it’s not your fault. I just hoped…

“Not his fault” Raelyn shrieked drawing all eyes towards her. “if he’d have manned up none of this would have happened.”

“Rae…”

“Dad you know I’m right” she snapped.

Ethan tried to maneuver around her. He should never have come. How could he blame her for blaming him when there wasn’t a day he didn’t blame himself? Maybe if he had been the man Jonah needed him to be he’d still be here even if they weren’t together.

“Coward” Raelynn hissed behind him.

“Coward” he repeated turning to face her. “I’m not the one who ran away.” The room became as silent as a tomb.

“Son” Brendan’s hand on his shoulder caught his attention. “I think it’s time we go.”

Shaking his dad’s hands off Ethan grumbled “I didn’t want to come in the first place.”

“I’m sorry” Riley apologized coming alongside them. He glared at his eldest daughter “we know it wasn’t Ethan’s fault.”

Nodding Brendan looked over his shoulder in the direction his son had stomped off in. “Ethan feels responsible…”

“He should because he is…”

“Realyn that's enough” Riley snapped.

“I’m sure he regrets how things turned out” Brendan ran a hand through his hair. “You haven’t heard from him?”

“Not in a year” he sighed “I keep hoping. Jackson keeps searching.”

Putting a hand on his shoulder squeezing “let me know if you do. I’ll do anything to help bring that boy home.”

“I appreciate that” Riley gave him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. They found Ethan grumbling to himself as he stood beside their car kicking the tires. There wasn’t much else to say as he watched the two drive away.

“Daddy” Jordan tugged on his hand “Jonah is coming home someday isn’t he?”

“I hope so” he smiled down at his son “I really hope so.”

“Me too” he threw his arms around his dad squeezing tight.

Previous / Next

[lesbiancolumbo]

Acting like Demi Moore wasn’t shamed for her pay check in strip tease is such bad faith. All you have to do is look at the razzies that year to see that she was being punished for being a woman getting paid a lot for an okay movie as if men - lets say Bruce “a million a day” Willis - don’t get to do that. Also it also is such a double standard to say she wants it too much like nobody was writing articles like that about brad pitt when he was campaigning so hard for OUATiH and everyone was tripping over themselves to give brendon fraser the oscar for the whale as a career acknowledgement! but god forbid a woman wants something!

demi literally talked about this in an interview leading up to the substance’s theatrical release too! that she wasn’t strictly comparing her career to bruce’s, but as his wife she knew damn well what he was bringing home in terms of a paycheck, and she said to herself, well, we’re doing the same amount of work. i should be compensated accordingly. and she was crucified for this! i was two fucking years old when striptease came out and i know this! what is REBECCA’s fucking excuse?

beatmywifeandkids pitt can campaign for an award shortly after beating his wife and kids and no one cares. brendan gets to act like a literal fucking make a wish kid when it came to his campaign and we all bought it up (i’m sympathetic to what he’s been through. but let’s be so fucking real. a woman would be CRUCIFIED for even attempting his kind of public narrative and campaign!!!).

remember in 2014 when michael keaton was launching his big comeback with birdman and the industry narrative was wow. this guy we love is BACK and hey, hasn’t he DESERVED it by now? we love that guy! and he would go to awards shows and give great speeches and we would all say wow. i love him. hope he wins more so he can speak more. ANYWAY I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS INTERESTING, REBECCA

remember when we effectively crucified anne hathaway for years for the crime of (checks notes) being too excited for an award we were pretty much all in agreement that she deserved, anyway? sorry for continuing to sit up on my soapbox. it gives me no pleasure. but i see this kind of sexist nonsense from men every god damn day of my life and when it comes from women my eye begins to twitch a little