#bread cousin

[goron-king-darunia]

Eggtober 16th, 2024

"Motherly" Adjaruli Khachapuri (Georgian Cheese Bread)

(Krita, Wet Circle and Soft Chalk default brushes, 12 colors, 1 slightly transparent multiply layer for shading, 1 hour.) Is it Yonic? Yes. Did I draw it overly so? No. Did I name it accordingly anyway and lean into it? You bet. God put a bread that looks suggestive with a big ass egg in it on my Firefox homepage and I said "Bet." Something something yonic, something something egg, something something femininity, something something art.

I am a simple creature. I see bread and egg with cheese, some of the most comforting shit you can put on a plate, and I see the bread shaped in such a way... How am I not supposed to think of motherhood? About the divine feminine. About the nourishing and comforting, and the center of life from which we all spiral forth into this batshit insane world.

So yes. Fuck it. I'll lean into this one. It's an egg. It's a vagina. It's a vaginegg. Blame me, but also blame the people who shape bread like this. Yes, this is probably the least amount of work you need to put in to shape bread in such a way that the fillings stay put so this is the shape these things end up being. But there's no way it's not at least a little bit on purpose. And so I am also doing it a little bit on purpose.

That said, rendering those crispy little bits of charred, crisped cheese is still a challenge. The chalk brush helps keep things matte and adds texture, but I still need to practice. My first time trying to render the cheese it was WAY too orange and looked very wrong. There's a very specific sort of golden orangey brown color that fades and mottles into the crispy blackened bits that cheese like this has on bread and I definitely need to get better at rendering it. But it was a nice freehand study that didn't give me too much trouble. Love the result. 10/10 would eat.

Also I have so many tabs open with egg references, please help, y'all doing the photographs of your own cooking are killing it this year and I want to draw all of them.

This particular piece was inspired by the cover photo in this small recipe collection. But soon there will be more eggs from the likes of my good noodle muse and a certain nekko who have been participating in Eggtober.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be over here busy in meat-space and wishing I was eating one of these egg and cheese breads.

@quezify

[tana-draws]

Shipcourse in the warrior cats fandom

[peeemsaymorebeamnotifs]

WHO'S BEEN HIT WITH THE SEYMOUR BEAM TODAY

@disgustinggf @footsteps-on-the-dance-floor @palindromordnilap @herssian @surgexs @voyagerprobe @zagreus @jame7t @xx-woozle-xx @ofswordsandpens @liquidstar @some-mossy-embers @decompose1 @satyriconmp3 @failchild @spiritflower-galaxy @shanastoryteller @peachesnturnips @brosequartz @alinkletothepast @amethysteshroud @senshigargantuanimplants @little-bitch-detector @urbanfantasyinspiration @i-am-the-broken-bride

You guys have gotten in the newest P.M. Seymour video!

[steveyockey]

the point in the conversation where people start to bring up how they’re thinking of cutting out gluten and sugar and going vegan and doing a cleanse and trying whole30 and getting an allergy test and no more alcohol and morning lemon water and supplements and vitamin subscriptions and they know people who did that and it made them feel so much better and they didn’t even do it to lose weight but they DID lose weight which is not relevant but still must be brought up and instead of quipping about how all your friends who did that turned out to just have eating disorders you say sure :) different things work for everybody :) more saintly than mother teresa

[atopvisenyashill]

do u ship reylo? 👀

[rootedincuteness]

Summer is almost over, and everybody knows what that means... various pumpkin-related confections! Now, the eternal question is... pumpkin bread or pumpkin pie? Halfred prefers the bread, with raisins added, of course. Mudpie, on the other hand, prefers pumpkin pie. Which do you think we should bake first?

[biophucker]

we sell bread, we sell loaves. bread on deck, bread on the floor.

[anon-apple]

Hot Soup and Soft Bread 12

Table of Contents and Synopsis <- Chapter 11 Read on WordPress here

Chapter 12: Instant Noodles with an Egg VI

Zhong Qiuyan held Zhou Cunqu’s hand and the two of them walked out a bit further from Breadfruit Street. That day, Cunqu told Qiuyan that he had a cousin named Zhou Pianyan who was the editor of a children’s magazine. He wanted to help A’Shan submit his story to be published.

But after Qiuyan contacted this cousin on behalf of Cunqu, she said: “Tell him to come see me himself.”

Cunqu didn’t say anything to that. Qiuyan held his hand and said: “No rush. It’s not like A’Shan’s in a hurry. He writes stories to pass the time anyways.”

Their midnight walks felt increasingly more like a date rather than a session to help with Cunqu’s recovery. After the date, Qiuyan always walked Cunqu back to the fifth floor. He would cling to him, hugging his waist and pressing him into his embrace as they kissed. Only after the kiss would he let him go.

Sometimes, Cunqu worried that Qiuyan didn’t have enough time to sleep and might have an accident at work so he would let him stay over in his room. But Qiuyan never just obediently went to sleep, instead, he stuck by Cunqu’s side and pinched and rubbed him here and there.

Because of how early he needed to get up, he sometimes would walk out of Cunqu’s room and run into Liu Xiaoying who was heading out for her morning exercises. He’d quietly sneak out of the condo, wait for Xiaoying to get downstairs, sprint up the stairs with the breakfast he bought, then open the door with Cunqu’s keys. He’d place the food on top of Cunqu’s nightstand and send a text message: Darling, breakfast is on the nightstand, don’t forget to eat it~ 

When Cunqu read the text upon waking, his first reaction was to find it both amusing and endearing. 

When Qiuyan was at work, he didn't text Cunqu much even during the breaks. He didn’t want to get distracted. After finishing his shift in the evening, he carried a bag and went to buy new books for Cunqu. The latter sent a text: Grandma said it’s almost dinner time, are you coming?

Qiuyan replied: I’m buying new books for our clever little bookworm. 

Cunqu laughed as he read the text on the phone screen. Qiuyan was capable of giving him hundreds of nicknames in a single day. Cunqu thought for a bit and texted back: Thank you Dudu baby.

Qiuyan cackled when he read the reply. 

That night, when they went downstairs for their walk, Cunqu said that he had made up his mind to meet up with Zhou Pianyan. Pianyan had a young child and couldn’t come out to see him at night. So Cunqu could only meet her during the day. To Cunqu, this was another challenge. 

Qiuyan said he would accompany him. That way if Pianyan did anything rude, then he wouldn’t be polite either. Cunqu smiled and said: “Yan-jie[1] isn’t like that.”

They decided to meet at Pianyan’s home. Qiuyan planned to drive Cunqu there. He watched Cunqu change his clothes and stand in the bathroom tying up his hair. He tied it, untied it, then tied it again. Cunqu finally asked Qiuyan, a bit exhausted: “Don’t I look quite awful right now?”

Qiuyan closed the bathroom door with his foot and hugged Cunqu as he replied: “You look great.” He then kissed Qiuyan’s cheeks and continued, “Don’t worry.”

That day was the first time Cunqu saw the staircase in the daylight. Grandma’s home was in fact quite old. Rust was prominent on the bars underneath the staircase handrail, and the walls were mottled with small advertisement leaflets. Qiuyan stood a few stairs below him and held out his arm as he said: “The pumpkin carriage has arrived downstairs. Let’s go, little princess Zhou Cunqu.” Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh.

When they reached the first floor, the “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas turned their heads in tandem. One of them said: “Who is this? Someone from our building?” “From our building?”

“You’ve seen this person before?” “Haven’t seen this person before.”

The two got into Qiuyan’s car together. The two grandpas were still doing question and answer. “Is this new resident a guy or a girl?” “Was that person just now a guy or a girl?”

The car drove through the daytime streets. Cunqu felt that his eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the bright summer afternoon sunlight. Qiuyan played some gentle music in the car and then said: “Look ge. The little ducks in Moonlake Park are finally awake. We’re going to pass by the city’s art museum soon, then we’ll arrive after one more turn.”

Cunqu squinted his eyes and didn’t say anything. When they arrived at Zhou Pianyan’s home, Qiuyan said: “If it’s too much, let’s not go up. It’s not like you are responsible for helping A’Shan submit his story.”

Cunqu stayed silent for a bit, then he turned and smiled at him. He said: “The ball is about to begin, help me down from the carriage.”

As they entered the elevator, Qiuyan could feel that Cunqu was trembling. Twenty-nine years of someone’s life would be filled with countless restless, stuffy, stretches of daytime. Unfortunately in Cunqu’s case, those daytime meomries are anything but pleasant. 

When they reached the 10th floor, Qiuyan led Cunqu out of the elevator. The door to condo 1001 was open. When Pianyan settled down, bought this place, and did the interior design, she asked for and followed Cunqu’s advice. So he was rather familiar with the layout of the place. Pianyan was leaning against the wall at the entryway. He smiled at her. Pianyan suddenly covered her mouth and started crying. She couldn’t stop crying. She reached out and hugged Cunqu as she repeatedly said: “You are so thin now, you are…” 

The baby in the stroller in the living room also abruptly started crying. Qiuyan ran over and held her. Pianyan finally let go of Cunqu and turned to look at her child. Qiuyan held the five-month-old infant and grinned as he said to Cunqu: “Ge, you want to try holding her? She’s so warm to hug.”

Even by the time Pianyan came over and sat down on the couch she was still ruminating over this, mumbling: “He didn’t say she was cute, or that she feels so light to hold. He said that my daughter feels warm….?” 

Qiuyan said: “Hold it hold it, jie. We didn’t come to have a philosophical discussion on this.”

Pianyan took a look at A’Shan’s draft and agreed that the story wasn’t bad and they could try publishing it. She placed down the papers and once again stared at Cunqu. Her eyes reddened again and she lightly said: “I was scared that you wouldn’t be willing to come. In the past two years, I was afraid to even think about you. In the past, was there anything I did wrong?”

Cunqu smiled and said, “Don’t think that way.”

When they were heading back out, Pianyan hugged Cunqu and wouldn’t let go. Qiuyan pried at her hands and said: “Ok that’s enough, enough. He’s about to break.”

Pianyan held her daughter and walked them downstairs. Qiuyan started up his car. Cunqu had his head lowered all the way until they were about to exit this residential community. Then, he turned and looked at Pianyan. His tears suddenly started falling. This was the first time Qiuyan had seen him cry like that and hurriedly drove to a stop at the side of the road.

They stopped there for a long time. Cunqu cried until he was almost out of breath. He trembled as he stared at his own hands which were basically only skin and bones. Qiuyan held his hand with one hand and helped him wipe away his tears with the other. He lightly said: “Don’t cry anymore. Let’s go home and eat something good. What do you want to eat?”

Cunqu kept his head lowered. After a while, he lightly let out a sigh. “Let’s go,” he said.

Qiuyan started up the car again. The scenery outside the car windows rewound itself. They passed the art museum, Moonlake Park. Cunqu stared blankly at the row of pig bobbleheads. He suddenly said: “I want to eat instant noodles.”

Qiuyan glanced at him and said: “No problem. Whatever flavor you want, we have it.”

Cunqu wiped away the tear stains on his face and said: “And I want to add a fried egg on top.”

Qiuyan laughed, “Even if you wanted to add my heart, I would be ok with it.”

-> Chapter 13

Footnotes

[1] Zhou Pianyan is his older cousin, and it’s perfectly normal to refer to older female cousins that aren’t your actual sisters (or any slightly older female you’re close to) as “jie” aka older sister. Same concept as “ge” aka older brother. Also Qiuyan shortens “Pianyan” to “Yan.” Side note, while I translated all the names in the anglicized fashion of a single string as the first name, it’s more accurate to Chinese to actually write them as separate syllables because each Chinese character maps to one syllable. For example, Pian Yan instead of Pianyan. Same for Qiu Yan, Cun Qu, Xiao Ying, etc.

[thawthebeez]

i was looking for recipes for brötchen because we have a german exchange student coming and i'd like to give him a little bit of comfort because north american bread is just Not It. now tell me why when i google “brötchen recipe” i get a recipe with 4.7 stars out of 200 reviews, there's 9 ingredients, one of which being shortening, and there's 14 steps, but when i google “brötchen rezept” i get a recipe with 5 stars out of 500 reviews, there's 4 ingredients (flour, water, salt, and yeast), 4 steps, and all i have to do is mix the dough, put it in the fridge overnight, and then bake it. what the fuck america

[quibblegoobe]

born to live in the west coast forced to live in the east coast im goign crazy

[trivialbob]

The best thing since sliced bread

I wonder what superlative people uttered before July 7, 1928, the day the bread slicer was invented in Chillicothe, Missouri.

This weekend I find myself in Chillicothe. My dad and I are here for a wedding. My sisters and brother, their significant others, and even some of the kids are here too.

Last night we had a bit of a family reunion dinner which I enjoyed. This branch of my family shares my enthusiasm for Australian Shepherds. My aunt even brought her young pup to dinner. One cousin and another cousin’s daughter (the one getting married) have more Aussies.

This morning I visited the Chillicothe Banking Co. The scent of freshly baked (and sliced!) bread is long gone. The building is now a museum and visitors center. It’s called the Sliced Bread Innovation Center. There’s also an Escape Room attached to the building. But why would anyone want to leave?

A big old bread slicer (I don’t think the original) is on display. Another visitor I saw mentioned the enormous loaf of slice bread on the roof. I’m glad she did, as I had overlooked it. I rushed out for a picture.

Afterwards I walked around the downtown square area. I got my picture in front of the big “Home of Sliced Bread” mural. The Donut Palace is misleadingly named. Oh they have donuts, but in a one story red brick building. Then I met some of our group at Shooter’s Taproom and Kitchen for a snack and cocktail.

Now it’s time to get dressed for the wedding. The dress code pleases me greatly: jeans. The venue is a farm that’s been converted into an event center. I saw it last night and it’s neat.

[camilledecussac]

[radioisntdead]

Accidentally stumbled onto the dark side of Tumblr again, DEAR GRACE SOME FOLKS NEED INTENSE THERAPY, or need to stop doing drugs, maybe both, my eyes, my poor, poor eyes, I need a holy water and bleach combo

Also I should watch gravity falls again

[fishdings]

Please explain everything about this AU I know you'll like it

:D!!!

Okay, Fishdings is basically an AU where Gaster is Undyne's dad and his name is Fishdings Angler!

He's still the royal scientist though, he works for Asgore and specialises in multiversal studies, coming up with ways to bust out of the underground, the CORE, SOULS and whatever mechanical bullshit the adhd mindset decides he should build today.

The canon Gaster followers are, of course, his coworkers, as are the Goners.

He had a sister named Shelley (a geologist) who reproduced via asexual reproduction twice. She had two daughters who she named Shyra and Shyren. Sadly, not long after she created Shyren, she was killed by the JUSTICE DETERMINATION child, Caper.

Oh also here's a list of the fallen human children and their soul powers:

Chara: Determination (i think)

Idyll: Patience

Antic: Bravery

Spice: Integrity

Llark: Perseverance

Caper: Justice

Revel: Kindness

Frisk: Nothing (get rekt, despite everything u continue to just be urself)

Despite mourning his sister, Fishdings was also jealous that she had children and decided he should attempt to carry out something similar! He set up in the lab basement a là powerpuff girls, and combined the powers of HIMSELF*, RAW COSMOS AND GOLDFISH CRACKERS! He was content with this mixture, but OH NO! he accidentally knocked in a flask of LIQUID JUSTICE DETERMINATION, a lá powerpuff girls! (like I said, he was studying souls)

*(he can use magic to shift between having legs and having a fish tail, and mid shift it's goopy. He used a lump of this goop)

From this mixture a five year old child sprung fully formed and immediately attempted to fight her creator. And won. Fishdings was very very proud of his five minute old daughter and immediately took her to his boss so she coukd get lessons in combat. While she attempted (and failed) to beat the living shit out of Asgore, he came up with the perfect name: UNDYNE.

Once Undyne got too tired to keep attempting to fight, Fishdings decided to take her to see her relatives. They took the ferry (obviously) and Undyne got to meet her honourary uncleaunt Riverperson.

Riverperson has legal custody of Shyra and Shyren (they and Shelley were inseparable when she was alive), but as they are busy ferrying people around half the day (and trying to build a bigger boat) they mostly leave the girls in the care of the Blooks.

Undyne meets her cousins and their babysitters: Maddy, Blankstablook**, Napstablook and Hapstablook. Maddy, the eldest at 13, is the only one who actually babysits (the others are no help) but all of the ghosts insist they babysit too.

** Blankstablook is the ruins dummy

Shyren, one, is excited to meet her new cousin and they are fast friends. They frequently run around the house together screaming. Shyren is a very musical baby and Undyne just likes yelling.

Shyra, six, is... less fond of Undyne. As her mother was killed by the justice child and Undyne is made of justice determination, she resents her new cousin a little. She eventually warms up to her though, and they grow up very close.

Shyra and Shyren live in the house that we know in the game as Undyne's, in Waterfall. The Blooks live literally right next door, making babysitting convenient. Undyne spends half her childhood here when Fishdings is busy with science stuff.

Undyne and her dad live in the top floor of the lab. It's really just a bed crammed into a corner with various photographs pinned to the walls around it, but there's a tv in the basement. So. Undyne is free to run around the lab as long as she doesn't touch anything dangerous. The other scientists become quite fond of her over time too.

A few years later, Fishdings decides that Undyne is getting too old to live in the lab with him, so they buy a house in Snowdin for Shyra, Shyrup*** and Riverperson and move into their old place. The Shy sisters are okay with this! Snowdin has way more kids their age, and there's a schoolhouse so they aren't alone at home all day. The Blooks are happy to make the trip to visit sometimes too.

*** Shyren discovered they're non binary and so is Shyrup now

When Undyne's 15 her dad falls into the CORE. How? Not sure yet. Anyway, Undyne is so filled with JUSTICE DETERMINATION her hair glows gold and she vows to find him. It takes a few years, but they eventually figure out he's trapped in the void, build a portal and send a now 17 year old Undyne in to get him out.

The only problem is Fishdings is now liquid. He lives in a vat for a while, until he's eventually solid enough (slime consistency) to move around on his own. He immediately commissions a giant fish tank on the top floor of the lab, fitted with the void portal in the corner and takes to doing multiversal/void research in there.

The other scientists are relocated to a bigger lab in New Home so Fishdings can leave his slime and half built portals all over the damn place but they still visit sometimes! Fishdings visits the other lab sometimes too but mostly stays in a fishbowl on wheels so to not drip on the carpet.

Another year or so later, Fishdings gets word of a young scientist named Alphys who built a fabulous robot, that now has his own tv show. He arranges a meeting with her and hires her on the spot, giving her free run of the basement for whatever science related shit she pleases. He allowed her to use the basement because he wasn't using it, definitely not because he saw Undyne making heart eyes at the lizard monster...

Not long after that, Shyra "falls down". Fishdings and Undyne are devastated, and Alphys vows to find a way to revive Shyra and other monsters who have suffered the same fate.

The amalgam incidents carry out as they did in canon, except this time Fishdings finds out about it. It's difficult to hide four (five? six??) goop monsters in the basement when you have another goop monster two floors up who likes to pop down sometimes (nosy).

He encourages her to come forward about it, so the Amalgamates are returned to their overjoyed (albeit slightly confused) families. Undyne and Shyrup are, of course, overjoyed to have Shyra back! Except now she's also Moldbygg and Aaron, and goes by Baked Bread.

Two humans fall into the underground when Undyne turns 24. Their names are Revel and Frisk. Will they kill everyone or will they be pacifists? Depends which fanfic Killer and I will eventually write you read...

...

So yah. Other than Gaster being a fish and present and Undyne's dad and the amalgams being free and sans not existing and Shyrup and Baked Bread being very very relevant, not much else changes.

There are aesthetic changes ofc: Fishdings puts fishy motifs into everything he creates, and being head scientist means the rest of the Underground take to using fishy motifs in their everyday lives.

Fishdings made the puzzles in the ruins (he used to go down there to visit Toriel before she decided to close it off altogether), so they also look fishy. His puzzle skillz inspired Shyrup to make a few music themed ones of her own in Snowdin. Fishdings made a lot of the puzzles in Waterfall and Hotland too so again, FISHY MOTIFS.

Mettaton is Mermatriton bc he and Alphys were too inspired by the overabundance of fishiness.

Um that's all I can think of to say for now, oh expect in the fanfictions Killer and I will eventually write, the SOUL controls Revel on pacifist and Frisk on geno. So yeah!

Sorry this took a few days for me to answer lol, had to spent a while typing.

[robinsnest2111]

just saw a recipe video for a cake that looks just like a cake my late grandma used to make and now I got tears streaming down my face oops

[mickgaydolenz]

does anyone else have that relative that isn’t actually related to you or is related to you in a different way but you still just call them aunt/uncle? i have an uncle who is actually just a really good friend of my mom’s, and i have an aunt who is actually my second cousin 😂