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bratshaws · 2 years ago

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through the hourglass 142. brb x oc

a/n: its too cold to write longer omg. ANYWAY next chapter is smut and I hope yall are ready for it...not because something bad might happen. uwu(reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/100/101/102/103/104/105/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121/122/123/124/125/126/127/128/129/130/131/132/133/134/135/136/137/138/139/140/141

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

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She was quiet later that night, when they were both in bed, he had his back to her but he was fully awake. Beatrice’s hands wrung together on the top of the covers, he could hear the sound of her skin brushing against the fabric and the quiet muttering of…something.

He arches his brow, flitting his eye to the side - even if he couldn’t see her fully - and waits until she stops for a second so he could finally speak, “Babe?” she stops completely, like a little mouse that was ready to be attacked by a bird of prey, “What are you doing?”

“Noth-” she stops, then sighs, “I’m just…thinking about something.”

“Okay.” he turns around to face her, smiling at her, one of his hands coming up to brush over her pouty lower lip, a tsk making it’s way out of his mouth, “Oh,gorgeous, why are you pouting? You gonna make me kiss you.” she laughs weakly while scooting closer to him, letting him kiss her forehead and nuzzle her hair once she has her arms around his middle, “What are you thinking?”

“...I’m just scared.”

“About what?”

“...about…the pregnancy.” she whispers, “Ev told me she had…issues because of the flight and jetlag and stress and she mentioned if she was carrying twins it’d be much worse.”

Rooster’s hand on her cheek just kept touching her skin, the back of his fingers following the curve of her jaw and ending on her chin, thumb gently brushing over her lower lip, “...and you are worried.” he finishes it for her, only for Beatrice to not, almost ashamedly, “...baby it’s okay.”

“It’s not, I’m already paranoid.”

“You are worried,” he cups the back of her head so she could nestle her face on the crook of his, rubbing the back of her skull with his thumb, ‘And that’s okay, you know? If there’s one thing the babies will know is that they were looked after even before they were born.”

“Hrrrmmm…”

“Baby.”

“I can’t help it I–” she swallows, “I even called my aunt.”

“Wait, really?”

“Well,E-Evelyn wanted me to but I also…had to ask her a few things…”

She waits until her aunt picks up, biting the corner of her thumb and bouncing her legs because now her mind was just running miles per second and she couldn’t go back downstairs looking like a crazy woman ready to sob her eyes out. She didn’t want Rooster to worry too much. It was just a simple talk to get her aunt’s perspective on…whatever was going on, that’s all. She sighs,waiting for Martha’s soothing voice to reach her ear and once it happens, Beatrice’s head snaps up.

“Darling, hello, is everything okay?” of course she knew, “Your heart is troubled. But not because of Bradley.” oh my God. “What bothers you so greatly?”

Beatrice sighed, why beat around the bush? “Just…a friend of mine,who’s also pregnant-”

“Evelyn Simpson,yes I know.”

Ignore that,Beatrice, “Yes…so, she said something about–”

“The twins.”

“Zia,I want to finish the sentence b-but…yes,should I…should I be worried?”

She thought her aunt’s pause was too long, far too long, but it was only a few seconds. She hears Martha walk around with her dog’s claws clicking behind her. A door is pushed open and the sound of birds chirping reach her ears followed by the deep breathing from her aunt, “...Beatrice,I do not know that.” her niece deflates, “But what I do know is that your little babies, all of them, are very strong. You all are.”

“Well, yes,but-”

“Do not let the fear interrupt with this trip of yours,Beatrice. You two deserve a break and peace of mind,”that last part made Beatrice blink, “You’ll be more than okay, you are protected and loved by so many people…life will be complicated sometimes but it’s not enough to worry, do you understand?”

“...yes…yes I do.”

‘The two little ones inside you are okay, they’ll be okay. Please remember that, will you? You have Bradley, he’s your protector, he’s always been your protector.”

Again with the mystical words, Beatrice just sighed but nodded even if her aunt couldn’t see it ,”Yes…yes he is.” she rubs her wedding band with her lower lip in her mouth, “It’s just a bit scary, you know? I…I don’t want to lose sleep over it.”

“Then don’t. Trust yourself more. You are a good mother, were you not, Nicole wouldn’t be this amazing beam of joy. Hm?”

“...thanks Zia.”

“You are quite welcome,oh! Also, do not think about not doing what you planned to do, your husband won’t mind it nor he will feel bad about it.”

Beatrice takes a while to understand, then her mouth parts, “Wait how did you-”

“Arrivederci!”

Beatrice looks up when Rooster says nothing, meeting her husband’s brown eyes as he looks down at her, “I know, it’s…weird.” she didn’t say the final part of their conversation since it was…a secret and she didn’t want him to know about that yet, “But I just needed to talk to her.”

“Baby,I’m not judging you.” he smiles, “But how do you feel now? Do you still feel anxious?”

“Not so much.”

He smirks, kissing the top of her head and pulling her closer to him - being careful when he neared her stomach as he tugged her by the waist- and then presses their noses together, “Did she really call me your ‘protector?’” Beatrice nods, smiling at how his cheeks darkened so sweetly because of that “...I do feel that way.”

“That you want to protect me?”

“I mean, you don’t always need protection.I’ve seen what you can do.”

Beatrice blinks at him, then smiles more, cupping his cheeks, “I think she meant…when I’m having anxious thoughts or when I’m nervous, you are with me.Always. And you manage to calm me down too, always,’ his lips press a trail of kisses from her temple ot her jawline as she speaks, “And you are with me when I’m at my worst…I think that’s the type of protector you are…and you also can beat people up.”

“I can, but I’d rather not to.” he coos, sliding his large hands under her shirt, keeping his fingers between her shoulder blades, feeling the goosebumps form on her skin, “Because touching you is much more preferable.”

Beatrice laughs breathily, wrapping her arms around his neck tighter and leaning closer to him with her body relaxing, “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I still feel bad.”

Rooster’s head lifts from her shoulder to her face and he props it up with his hand - the movement making his bicep bulge up and stretch the fabric of his thin shirt, something Beatrice still snatched her vision to no matter how long they’ve been together. He smiles more, rubbing her chin with his free hand, “You are too sweet.” he whispers, “Too fuckin’ sweet,gorgeous. You know that,right?” her cheeks turn red over his words but her smile is gentle, almost too small for him to see, “You know you can share your burdens with me. No matter how bad they are.”

“...I know.”

“So don’t feel bad, I mean you can, but don’t feel bad because you can’t tell me about it,you hear?” she hums and he tilts her head up by cupping her chin, “Baby. You hear me?”

“I do.” she murmured, leaning into his touch as she sighs, “...Roos, can I ask you something?”

“Anything, pretty girl.”

“...what were you feeling the first time you flew?” she asks softly, running her fingers through his hair as smiling when he shuddered, nosing her neck and breathing in her lavender scent. He took a while to raise his head and think about how he’d reply, eventually propping his head up again as before and pursing his lips with his eyes looking to the side.

“I was…excited, happy and about to shit through my flight suit.”

“Really?”

“Oh fuck yeah,” he chuckles, scratching his nose as he reminisces, “You know, the second I took everything in…I really almost cried, I was thankful for the helmet because holy shit,baby…it was something I wanted for so long and now that it was happening I was scared of fucking it up.”

He remembers how his hands shook when everything latched shut, when the sounds around him became muffled and how the sky appeared brighter and even more blue when he was high in the sky. He was shaking and tearing up, he was sniffling and ready to cry…but he chose to cry only when he was alone and safe from prying eyes. “It was the most amazing and craziest feeling ever.”

“...that’s amazing,Roos.”

“It was…It’s still amazing, my stomach still feels cold sometimes.” he chuckles, “Like I swallowed some…ice cube or something, but it’s a feeling I got used to. It’s still nerve wracking, I won’t lie to you, but it was…amazing.” he smiles down at her, “Why the question?”

“I don’t know,I…I never asked you I think.”

His smile softened as he tucks a few strands behind her ear, “I think it’s because you are feeling the same way.” he whispered, ‘Because of the twins. You are scared but excited and you wanted to find a way to connect what we’ve always wanted by finding common ground between us.”

The silence that took over was overbearing, but Beatrice stared up at him in surprise, “Damn, you are good.”

“I am your husband.” he snorts, “If I couldn’t read you, it’d be awful,huh?”

“It would…but you are right.” she hums, pressing her cheek to his bicep as she closes her eyes, one of her hands rubbing her stomach, “...you know, I’d be the first of my siblings to have twins.” she says, “...and…and I think it’s scary,Roos. You know how they can be, you know how much they’ll…hover and want to know more and…ugh…” she sighs, looking at her hands then back up at him, “I think I’m scared…of how I’ll be.”

“How you’ll react?”

“Yeah, I know my parents get it now, Nikki is our baby but…I don’t know,Roos. They might be worse than before.”

Rooster stares at her for a few seconds, head still propped by his hand as he adjusts himself on the bed, sliding up to his back was against the headboard, making him sit on the mattress, “C’mere.” he pats his thighs twice and she hurriedly makes her way over, sitting on his lap and placing her head on his chest as he wraps his arms around her. “...you’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?”

“More than I’d like.”

“...you know you’ll do fine,right?” he coos, kissing her scalp, “Your parents need to understand that,baby, there’s no other way to do it.”

“I know…” she pauses, “What will I do if–if you aren’t here? I-If you are deployed? I-I don’t want to bring it into reality.” she knocks the wooden headboard twice, then frowns, “But…w-what if?”

Of course the thought of being deployed came to his mind every now and again, it could happen, and the fact that it could more than likely occur as soon as they returned was something he much preferred to ignore. He inhales deeply, then licks his lips as he keeps her in his grasp, “...if that happens.” he’s not mad when he says it, he’d never be mad at her for something like that, “I’ll keep in contact with you as much as I can…you can message me as often as you like and I’ll try to reply quickly…okay? You're going to be fine even if I’m far away from you.”

“...okay.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me though, if I’m deployed.”

“I-I’ll try.” she laughs weakly, still resting her temple against his shoulder and sighing while closing her eyes, “It’s…it’s just something I thought about and…I don’t know. I know I can’t keep you here, I can’t tie you up–”

“Kinky.”

She swats his chest when he says it, but laughs alongside him, the comment breaking the tense atmosphere as she looks into his eyes, “...I’m serious,Roos.I can’t keep you tied up,I told you before I understand and I’d never get mad at you for leaving but…it’s just,I think the hormones are being kinda crazy right now.” she mutters, playing with the end of his shirt as she says that, then furrows her brows, “I don’t want you to worry about me either, okay?”

“Now that is gonna be hard because I’m not the one pregnant.” he cuts gently, then softens his gaze when she pouts again, “Baby…you are my wife, being away from you means I not only will miss you but I’ll miss our kids.” kids, plural, it felt so good to say that, “And…I hope I come back home before you give birth,I wanna see the co-pilots in person.”

“Co-pilots? Oh that’s cute.”

“Isn’t it? I thought about it this week.”

The two share another fond look before Beatrice snuggles closer to him, closing her eyes with a sigh, “...We’ll be okay.” she repeats his words, her aun’t’s words as well, “...we’ll be okay.” and her hand travels towards his, squeezing it the best she could since it was so much larger than hers.

“Yeah,” he kisses her head, eyes locked on the falling snow outside the window, “We will.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

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deludedfantasy · 1 year ago

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Trimax Vol 9 Ch 1-3

On the one hand, I'm loving the Wolfwood centric chapters because I think he's such an interesting character. On the other hand, I know what's coming and the looming presence of vol 10 haunts me the further in I get. But here are some thoughts on Wolfwood and Livio from the first half of this volume.

Ch 1

Omg more baby Wolfwood!!! And a baby Livio!!!

Damn, Wolfwood is very determined to get across this bridge. I wonder why the guard looked like he recognized him though.

Wolfwood is such an annoying big brother, just tossing things at poor crying Livio’s head. Notice though that he’s just trying to feed him and keep him hydrated. He’s always been disguising his sweetness and care as rudeness.

Oh Wolfwood, he’s just trying to give Livio’s life meaning when he doesn’t feel like he’s worth anything. I wonder how long he’s been at the orphanage to be so familiar with that feeling of being worthless that he treats it so casually. It’s certainly not as new or raw as it is for Livio.

Oh yay, Livio!! He saved that girl and now he feels accomplished!

Livio’s eyes looking all blank and empty while he’s standing in a dark alley…it’s so ominous. I really gotta give Nightow here that we haven’t spent a lot of time with young Livio and he’s already making me feel a lot of emotions about him.

Oh no. OH NO. This doesn’t get any easier to handle on second read. Livio looks so scared of himself when he sees the blood on his hands and especially the look on Jasmine’s face when she sees him afterwards.

And still, Wolfwood is defending him! Once you’re his friend, once he cares about you, that’s it. He’s in it for the long haul. In reality, he has such a big heart, and the Eye of Michael tried so hard to kill that part of him.

So, Wolfwood comes home to find it besieged by the man he once thought of as a brother, who he barely recognizes anymore. It’s pretty grim, and Livio himself looks like he has mixed feelings about being back.

Oh? I thought Livio was part of the Eye of Michael. Why was he thrown out? Also, isn’t Chapel the head? Can’t he just…reinstate him if he wants, without this whole proving himself charade? This is Chapel though so I don’t know why I’m expecting anything different.

Also more reasons I want to hunt Chapel for sport. His love for his family is what kept Wolfwood human and what motivated him for all these years. It’s the best thing about him. (Though there’s some foreshadowing to him saying these attachments are fatal…I’m gonna take a break to sob in the corner for a sec, brb)

Where did these children get a gun from??? Actually, on this planet, I don’t know why I’m even asking that question, guns are everywhere. But still.

These mercenaries are the worst of the worst. Like, calling children worthless and being so willing to kill them for just some money, just to get a rise out of someone. Says a lot about the Eye of Michael that this is who they hire.

But hey, Livio comes to the rescue! Though whether it was actually to save the kid or just to see what was going on remains to be seen.

Ch 2

So the orphanage kids vaguely recognize Wolfwood as someone they think they know, though he’s older than he should be. Thus begins the question that has been plaguing me for months: how old is Wolfwood???

Wolfwood comes in and fucks shit up, as usual. But the big thing here, as many people have pointed out, he’s giving them a chance. He’s not shooting to kill. He’s living up to Vash’s, and now his own, philosophy. To the bitter end, he’s going to try and be a better person.

But these guys are horrible. Like I said, the worst example of humanity to contrast Wolfwood (who at least in Vash’s eyes is something like the shining example of humanity in all its complexity). The mercenaries shoot their “friend” rather than save him to get a bigger share. As if we needed any more reminding what Wolfwood is up against.

Wolfwood is really playing up the action hero bit this time. And you know what, it’s so cool.

But he totally learned that fake-out shooting background trick from when Vash rescued. They’re learning from each other. (Aaaaand I’ve made myself sad again)

I love a good callback! Wolfwood once told Vash this and told him he’d have to make a choice. But now we know he was also talking about himself. He hasn’t had a lot of options over the years, especially once he joined the Eye. But now, it’s time for him to make a choice. He has to decide who he is, whose side he’s on, and what he’s willing to do to protect what he loves.

I hate to say this, but for once Chapel has a teeny tiny point. Wolfwood doesn’t have room for doubt here, and he is a man who has had a lot of doubts over the course of the story, both about Vash’s actions and his own. There isn’t any more time to run away from his situation. He has to face it head on and with surety.

Exactly, Chapel! Wolfwood hasn’t changed, he’s stayed true to himself and the man he wants to be. He’s not using his true powers because that would mean killing and above all, Wolfwood is done being a murderer. Before he was killing to protect his family, but now he’s decided that’s enough. For them, he’ll stop and he’ll save them without giving up another piece of his soul.

Okay, Chapel, I get that you want him to be an efficient killer, but Wolfwood is 100% maiming these guys to get through them. Like, they are not coming out of this unscathed, in the slightest. He’s very much putting them out of commission as well.

LIVIO CAUGHT A ROCKET AND REDIRECTED IT WITH HIS BARE HANDS???? INSANE!!!

On the one hand, yay Livio saved the orphanage! On the other hand, he did it because orders and also because Chapel isn’t done using the orphanage to torment Wolfwood.

Ch 3

Awww, the kids remember Wolfwood and think of him as a protector. Because that’s who he is at heart!!!

“We have to rely on ourselves. We cannot rely on someone who isn’t here.” BUT HE IS!!!! AND HE CAME BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS HOME SO MUCH.

Has Wolfwood been wondering for all these years what happened to Livio? Did he literally only in the last few months find out that he’s also a member of the Eye? Either way, it’s a gut punch for him to be confronted by him and realize how much he’s changed. That crybaby Livio has so wholeheartedly taken to being a killer, when Wolfwood once tried so hard to protect him from that.

Poor Livio. No Man’s Land is such a cruel world that people just beat up helpless kids for being in the way. He left the orphanage, a place where he was safe and loved, because he felt like he was a danger, because he felt like he didn’t deserve their love and care. Livio himself isn’t much of a fighter, but he doesn’t even try to defend himself. This is just what he believes a monster like himself deserves.

The Razlo notes are so ominous, but Livio just laughs at them. They’re violent but they’re also offering to protect him, and he just shrugs it off. He doesn’t want anything at all.

My favorite, though, is “I’ll be your fangs.” Perhaps like Double Fang?

As Livio is being badly beaten, he thinks of saving Jasmine, but he’s also overcome by how much he just doesn’t care anymore. He’s sick of being a punching bag and of being helpless. What does it matter now if he’s violent if at least it gets the hurt to stop?

I love that Razlo is literally represented as a dark shadow the first time Livio meets him because he’s literally Livio’s dark shadow, the part of himself he’s been afraid of for so long.

Notice how we can only see one of Razlo’s eyes, his left one. The same side of Livio’s face that’s covered in blood and the same side of his face he wears his skull mask on. He’s literally split in two, between life and death, purity and blood.

Okay, but how did Razlo know about the Eye? Was it because they’d come to the orphanage recruiting while Livio was there? But they obviously don’t present themselves as a cult of assassins when they come (at least, I assume they don’t, because I can’t imagine Ms. Melanie willing giving children to them otherwise), so how would Razlo know that they would fit in there?

I forgot Wolfwood goes for a kill shot here! Although, he knows he’s up against the Eye so it’s not gonna keep Livio down forever. But imagine reading this as it was coming out and thinking Wolfwood actually killed him! Because it certainly reads that way.

#trigun #trigunbookclub

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therhythmafterthesummer · 1 year ago

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Hello my dearest rhythm, I am back with my (still messy) thoughts on FPS part 2 🥹

First of all, i had to reread it cuz the first time that i saw it was after a day (or days) of hectic training when i just wanted to shut off my brain but i saw that u updated and my whole world sTOPPED, i swear i held my breath and thought i was hallucinating the new part 😭 i’ve been waiting for it for so long and it’s definitely worth it 🥹😭

I might babble a lot about it so if anyone hasn’t read it, pls don’t read this cuz it will have spoilers 😭

I WAS NOT PREPARED TO EXPERIENCE THE CONFLICT IN HIS HEAD WHEN THE REVEAL HAPPENED 😭😭😭😭😭 literally, i was holding my breath,, i wanted to cry too 🥹 MY BABIES, why should the world make them meet like that 😭 they just wanted to love and be loved huhu i hate u (i love u so much pls i know it hurt u too). Knowing everything that was going on in his head, gosh, I’m so crushed. I want to hold him and tell him it’s okay because he didn’t know it was her 😭 akshjsdjjdskbsjsjx

“The fact that you wouldn’t take his life puzzled him. How could you not want him dead? After all that had transpired, why wouldn’t you?” ——BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GOD DAMMIT 😭🤕🥹

“and if you’d been fine with it, he wanted to ask you to move in with him.” —nO WAIT STOP PLS,😭 i’m beyond wrecked and i haven’t even gone thru half of the story yet.

The flashback to their first date 🥺🥺🥺 i wanna scream. Knowing how both of their lives were filled with chaos, them being able to find peace and comfort with each other is just sooooo wholesome. WHICH HURTS EVEN MORE WHEN I REALIZE ITS JUST A FLASHBACK——brb gonna go sob in a corner. “If I tried to kiss you… would you let me?”——😭😭😭😭😭i love love love how they get so spontaneous and relaxed with each other. I love how you wrote about it between the lines of their stressfully calculated and rigid line of work 🥹

3 freakin’ months of no contact 😭 i wonder what happened to MC then. Although you did write a bit about her forfeiting her mission and also, technically, her spot in the Guild, I wonder what she was thinking after everything. Three months is a (kind of) long time, and I guess like Chris, she would’ve been wondering all of her what-if’s. Did she ever think about contacting him too? Did she ever considered his side of the story? idk i’m just hurting with them at this point.

—i’m gonna skip the reunion but just know that i screamed and held my breath and punched the wall and banged my head on the desk and— yeah

The honesty and vulnerability between them is just so pure. The way they both pined for normalcy with each other is just *chef’s kiss* 🤍 i love them so much, it hurts how much shit they went thru even before they met 🥺 i’m not gonna spoil much about the rest of the story but i just want you to know that i loooove how you wrote them. Their stories feel so real to me and their emotions were very well conveyed. I love how the story went and, to be honest, i don’t think i mind the ending being open as much as I initially thought. (tho i wouldn’t complain if ur brain lizard decides otherwise— 👀)

Aaaahck my babies 🤍🖤 thank you for publishing this new part!! I hope you have a really nice day :> hugs!!

~🍓

plssss this is so detailed kjfhsdjfshfdkijsjikd

that whole first scene recounting the reveal from his POV hurt me more than you can imagine. every time i sat down to write this story i felt like my heart was being squeezed (which was exactly what i was looking for sdjfhskdfh). Chris really just wanted to have that bit of peace he had with his girlfriend and it was ripped away from him ))):

as for what happened on the MC's side during those three months... i'm sure she almost called him several times, but, just like Chris, i don't think she was ready to face him. she had hurt him and tried to kill him (before she knew it was him, ofc), so she probably had to process all that, plus the fact that she couldn't finish her mission at all (which i'm sure was a whole different problem in itself). essentially, both her heart and her pride was hurt, and, honestly, if she hadn't heard those people talking about picking up her failed mission, i feel like she wouldn't have reached out at all (or at least not that "soon").

everything that happened at Chris' flat after they met again was very therapeutic to write for some reason??? idk, i feel like i was able to let a lot of feelings out writing this story in general, so i'm glad some of those feelings were conveyed well.

i really wanted to leave the ending a bit open so the reader could interpret what could happen next. they could run away together, one of them could retire, Chris could try to get the Kims to pardon her, or (for those that want a bit more angst) maybe you can even imagine she is deceiving him still, trying to fulfil her goal and that's why she came back... the possibilities are endless atp haha. all i know for sure is that i wanted to end this story with them together, so i did!

thank you for reading this, and for your thorough feedback. i'm glad you liked it💜💜💜

#🍓 anon #ask #fps ask

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quodekash · 2 years ago

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TIS WAY TOO LATE, THUS TIS TIME FOR HAPPY GAY HAPPINESS

im half asleep rn cos i just woke up (im trying a new thing where i go to sleep and have an alarm for 11:30 so that i can watch the episodes but still hopefully get enough-ish sleep) so its possible that this will be very very incoherent (more so than usual, that is)

it astounds me that they have summary flashback thingies at the starts of the second episodes of os2. like "hey remember this? remember literally yesterday? just in case you forgot, here's a reminder that wouldnt help whatsoever if you actually did forget what happened. youre welcome."

"can i please get a plane" "you deserve A ROCKET" PLEASE I LOVE THEM

brb, sobbing again.

(so theres this thing that happens sometimes where i press command+z while doing one of these posts and then it deletes everything until the first image. and it happened tonight. and i was nearly finished the episode, so now im gonna try and go all the way back and recite the stuff i said, so bear with me while i try to remember whatever nonsense i said. a lot will be missing tho because i quoted a lot of stuff rather than taking screenshots, so yeah. imma try my best tho)

"Papa!" "YES?" "YES?" THE WAY THEY BOTH RESPOND AT THE SAME TIME GJRBDGJBR THEY ARE DADS

THE WAY TALAY GETS UP SO FAST TO COME TO JIGSAW WHEN HE CALLS FOR THEM GRHEBDGHB

THE FREAKING DRAWING ON EACH OTHERS FACES

THE BONDING WITH THE CHILD

THE HAPPINESS

GJKERBDGB

JIGSAW AND HIS FOUR DADS

gotta love a nivea sponsorship

FLASHBACKS???

WHY

MY HEART IS TOO WEAK FOR THIS

WAIT

AAAAA

HES WIPING OFF THE DUST IN HIS HEART

IM NOT OKAY

"oh, but i dont think i can wash that redness off your face now" please theyre so freaking sweet what the hell

THE RAISING OF THE CHILD MONTAGE

THE PLAYING WITH THE STUFFED TOYS

THE DRINKING OF THE DRINK FROM THE FRIDGE

THE HIDE AND SEEK???

THE HIGH FIVE???

WHY DOES A HIGH FIVE AFFECT ME SO DEEPLY

HE'S SUCH A DAD

THEYRE SUCH DADS

IM NOT OKAY

DADS

I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH

THE PLAYING IN THE POOL????

HIS FOUR DADSSSSS IM SOBBING

HELL YEAH HE POOPED

NO WAIT NOT THE FOREHEAD KISS

THE FOREHEAD KISS IS THE DEATH OF ME

WHY DOES IT AFFECT ME SO DEEPLY

im genuinely not okay. i might need to just. go into a corner and scream. please.

PUEN FELL ASLEEP

I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IF THERE'S MUCH MORE OF THIS, MY POOR FRAGILE HEART

THE ZOO???? yeah someone call an ambulance, i might die

OISHI???? HELL YESSSS

i desire oishi tea probably more than i should. my quest to find it continues unsolved. but fear not, for i shall look inside every aisan grocer i can to see if i can find it somewhere (please im desperate)

THIS IS SO SWEET

THE TEA?

AND THE ANIMALS??

AND THE WHOLESOMENESS????

AND THE WAY THEY TAKE PHOTOS OF HIM???

AND HIS SWEET LITTLE SMILE

YOU CANT TELL ME YOU DONT WANT TO ADOPT THIS CHILD

I KNOW I DO

AND I HATE CHILDREN

but this child is one of the VERY FEW exceptions

you idiots you lost the child

DADS

THEY ARE DADS

THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME

honestly, fair enough

HES SUCH A CONCERNED DAD

THEY ARE CONCERNED PARENTS

GRJDKGBRKJ

I CANT TAKE IT

THEYRE SUCH DADS

I LOVE THEM

AAAAA

"let's go poopoo" that sounds like a great idea

DADS

HELLO DADS

ILY

"i think we should end this plan" che??

"im scared my sister will scold me for doing this to her kid" CHE????

so. they stole tup's nephew. to repair their friends' relationship.

nice

"Uncle Two" BRO GJERBDGHB

BRO THIS KID IS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR WHAT THE HELL?

such a good lier too

i cant wait til hes all grown up and, *sniff* committing felonies, all on his own

(a single tear makes its way down my face)

so proud

"ill bring you a doll every day" well that explains it

"but i feel guilty about doing this to talay" yeah, that makes sense, considering the whole... everything.

TWO

NOT-AOU'S HIS NAME IS TWO

TWO AND TUP

NOT UP AND AOU

HUZZAH NAMES

"i want to go home already" WAIT NO WHY, YOU WERE HAVING FUN WITH THEM

unless hes just THAT good of an actor, which is possible

OMG

AUSTRALIAN REP

THATS ME

ITS US

the like. 12 australians that watch gmmtv thai bl dramas.

bUT YEAH, ITS US, HUZZAH

tis me, australian. it feels nice to be represented

OMG A KIWI

THAT'S NEW ZEALAND

THATS AMAZING

NZ NEVER GETS REP THATS AMAZING

HAVE A GREAT DAY NEIGHBOURS

ah shoot not good

jigsaw did a silly thing

bro, talay, chill

yeah he's just ruined some important stuff, but he's a kid. hes still figuring out that other people around him have feelings that are important and stuff, he's going to do silly things sometimes. but threatening to beat him?? chill bro. physically reprimanding someone, especially a child, wont help. also thats child abuse.

"raising a kid is not easy at all." yeah, well that goes without saying. its sweat and tears and a lot of hard work. and the little gross slimy gremlins dont have a conscience yet and theyre impulsive and horrible. but that's the joy of it. this human being developing before you, and youre helping them with that, with finding who they are. the effort you put into raising a kid, because you care about them, and the results you get from that effort? that's your reward. raising a child is painful, and its difficult, and there's gonna be lots of lows. but it's beautiful and wonderful and magical, and as long as you show lots of love and care, itll be infinitely rewarding

(whatever original thing i wrote about that before accidentally deleting everything was way better but i cant remember what i said so we'll all just have to deal with that)

WAIT WHEN DID I BECOME AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER ABOUT WHY KIDS DONT SUCK

I HATE KIDS

WHAT AM I DOING

DISTRACTION! LOOK OVER THERE

phew okay

BRO YOU LOST THE CHILD AGAIN?

BRO YOU TOOK HIM TO A CHILDREN'S HOME???

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS, GUYS

well, not really. but the message still stands. lying bad.

i think

is lying bad?

let's not delve into the depths of morality and questions of life rn, i need to go to bed

honestly not even surprised anymore, the kid is magic.

PFFFT THE WAY PUEN JOINS TALAY ON THE MORAL HIGH GROUND TO TELL THE OTHERS LYING IS BAD

HSDHSHDHSHS AND THEN TALAY TELLS HIM OFF AND PUEN JUST QUIETLY GOES BACK TO SITTING ON THE BENCH WITH TUP AND TWO

i love them so much

LMAO HE OVERHEARD THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION

THIS IS BRILLIANT

wait seriously, jigsaw is such a good actor

this is some genuine raw talent

one day he'll be working with the likes of Sound Saran

he's so freaking talented

this kid is incredible

omg talay bought a giant giraffe for jigsaw and now two has to carry it home

question: do tup and two live together? (please let the answer be yes)

another question: how the hell did jigsaw get into the car without being noticed. he was between talay and puen. how did puen not see him. i genuinely need to know, DID he teleport???

and an observation: puen's still in his pyjamas.

so that's pretty interesting

(huzzah weve made it through everything i previously said! my memory actually held up really well which was a big surprise but i guess im just incredible like that. anyway, on with the episode)

JIGSAW HAS AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH THEM AND NOW HE CAN COME VISIT THEM WHENEVER

i was worried that when it was revealed, jigsaw would feel really weird about coming back and puentalay would feel weird as well and then they would barely ever see jigsaw again but im glad that didnt happen, im very happy, this is very happy

i do appreciate that the angstiest thing to happen in this was You Are Not The Father and that was it

i like it when angst is silly

when its so fluffy im crying super hard throughout the whole thing

i like fluff

OH MY GOODNESS, JIGSAW'S TINY WAVE??? GHREDGB

THE OH-AW NOISES KEEP HAPPENING WHY MUST THEY KEEP HAPPENING

i think puentalay should kiss. they havent rly done that yet.

also side note: where the hell are aou and fuse, i need them in my life

give them a special ep or something, they deserve it

"even though there's only a little pink, jigsaw completed his drawing with other colours, just like our story." NOOOOOO IM DYING CRYING VOMITING DESTROYING WORLDS WHAT THE HELL /pos

"we might focus less on our love one day, but i'll still understand you, care for you, and want the best for you." HHHHHHHHHHH

HELP

THE LEANING THE HEAD ON THE SHOULDER GHFGHBFHGFB

"i actually wasnt done with my surprise plan yet" CHE????

was he gonna propose

i hope so but also i hope not because marriage is a stupid christian thing that is way too popular and silly and is nothing but a "you can have sex now, horray". either that or it's just a legal contract for the two families to be bonded/allies. i mean yeah, marriage is for love. but have you considered: capitalism. and like, its possible to be super close to someone WITHOUT getting married to them, marriage isnt important for a deep connection to someone. i mean if you wanna get married, go ahead. and if it is a proposal, ill be insanely happy. but also marriage is silly and i could talk about it for ages but my brain isnt providing me the right words to get my point across right now, probably because its nearly 2am and i need to go to sleep, so ill shut up about marriage now

OHHH ITS THE FREAKING HOURGLASS

FJGBHFBDGHFBGHFGBGHDB

"i will take us back to where we were" literally or just like imagination. because if youre literally going back... um. how.

OMG HE HAS A GUITAR???

ARE THEY GONNA END EVERY EPISODE LIKE THIS??

IF SO, IM TOTALY DOWN AND PROBABLY GONNA CRY

this is so pretty

he has such a pretty voice

NO NOT THE FLASHBACKS WHAT THE HELL WHY MUST THEY DO THIS TO ME

THE FREAKING SHIRT

"thats not me" "i told you. where there's puen, there's talay" BRO

yes. please do.

WAIT

WHAT THE HELL

HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERS THAT???

WASNT HE DRUNK

I DIDNT KNOW HE EVER REMEMBERED THAT HAPPENING

HOLY HELL

I THINK I MIGHT JUST EXPLODE RN PLEASE

YAYYYYY KISSEEEE

THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES

HERE COME THE TEARS

FOREHEAD TOUCHING IS THE MOST INTIMATE THING AND YOU CANT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, I WILL GLADLY DIE ON THIS HILL

AND PUENTALAY'S FOREHEAD TOUCHES ARE INFINITELY INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

AND ITS SUCH A PROLONGED FOREHEAD TOUCH

IM SOBBING AS QUIETLY AS I POSSIBLY CAN

FOREHEAD TOUCHES

okay. msp trailer time. prepare yourselves emotionally, physically, mentally, as much as you possibly can in any way at all

have triple zero on hold just in case, i might be about to die

deep breaths, deep breaths

im so scared

okay okay i can do this

no i cant

yes i can

i cant

i have to

JUST DO IT BRO

okay

i have my three favourite stuffed toys. time to die.

I KEEP PRESSING PLAY AND PAUSING IT IMMEDIATELY

WHY CANT I DO THIS

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

deeeeeeep breaths

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breaths

AAAAFGHJREBSDGJHBRSHJGBVJERHBSDGHJVRBESJHDGBN

OMG SOUNDWIN

DID I WELL UP AT THE SIGHT OF SOUNDWIN? MAYBE

REVERSE TIWPOR

HOW DO YOU FREAK OUT QUIETLY

THIS FREAKING FINGER

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

GUIERHSDGIUHERDOGIHEROIDGHE09RIPDHGV09EIRHDGOIV

IM NOT OKAY

"time and reality are more than just straight lines, but a multiverse of endless possibilities. everything we choose may brance out into unrestricted truths and turn into a parallel universe, different from the one we know." im desperately hoping that this means there's gonna be season 2 of msp

that was a wonderful episode and now im gonna be waiting in anticipation for soundwin for the next five days because i am ✨mentally ill✨ but first i need to sleep

BYE BYEEEE

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #os2 #os2 vice versa #vice versa series #vice versa the series #puentalay #sea tawinan #jimmy jitaraphol #jimmysea #os2 vvs #msp #os2 msp #send help immediately please

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eightmakesonebraincell-replies · 4 months ago

Text

DON'T MIND ME REPLYING LITERALLY A WEEK LATER 🙈🙉🙊 the maknae line tropes were some of my favourite to write (me saying that about all the tropes i write) but i think this was the start of my ✨calling✨ to write angsty endings hohohoho

NOT YOU CALLING ME OUT FOR STARTING WITH STRAIGHT SMUT HAHAHA DON'T EXPOSE ME 🫵🤫

but you're right i think hyung line had the same trajectory from smutty to fluffy oop

san

no hello's no how are you's only i want you's 😍🥵

whatever san wants he gets i'm all his haha ha ahahahaa haaaa

NO FR THOUGH SAN IS LITERALLY THE GREENEST GREEN FLAG TO GREEN FLAG EVER ???? istg there's no other way to depict him in my fics he is just green flag periodt

YOU 🤝 ME 🤝 NEEDING A SAN (or just the san) TO EAT OUR MUSHROOMS FOR US

ugh YES the desperation of yearning and longing for each other when they know they won't have a future together 😭 brb gotta go sob in my corner

until you bear the last name of somebody you will still be san's RAHHHH 👹👹👹

JAEHYUN MY MANN MY MANN MY MANNN AFJKDSGH I JUST NEED BOTH MY DIMPLE BOYS IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR

hehehehehehehehehe san was really like i 👏 can 👏 fulfil 👏 all 👏 them 👏 promises 👏

mingi

ahh yes onto mingi the start of my villain arc writing sad endings >:D

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT mingi could literally brEaTHE in my direction and i'd be like 🫨🫨

i am such a sucker for power imbalances but them wanting to eradicate that imbalance uGH

mingi is just a baby boy cmere i'll sing you all the lullabies give you all the forehead kithes you need 🥹🫶

THOSE FOUR LINES ARE QUITE POSSIBLY MY FAVOURITE LINES FROM THIS AU

THE CONTRAST AND BOTH OF YOU WANTING TO LOVE EACH OTHER BUT KNOWING THAT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE IN THIS LIFETIME PLSSS

oooh yes :D things are looking too good :D how can i change things up hmm :D

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOH 😈

EATING BRICKS IS LESS PAINFUL I AM HOWLING HAHAHAHA IF WE GONNA PUT IN ANGST WE GOTTA MAKE SURE IT ANGSTS WELL AMIRITE :D

it's okay i don't forgive myself either 🫵😭🫰

wooyoung

i love how we hit woo's au and it's just like yup okay what kinda lovely menace is he going to be this time what's the drill HAHAHA

advisor lee be thinking about retirement erry day 😮‍💨🤧

WE IN CAHOOTS INDEED OHOHOH 😏

no i actually love writing atz cameos bc their dynamics are already established and the comic relief they provide? absolute gold

HE JELLY JELLY HUEHUEHUE get yo gurl wooyoung

gotta show off to everybody you're his 🫱

LORD JUST GIVE US ONE CHANCE WITH POSSESSIVE WOOYOUNG WHO WANTS TO HOLD OUR WAIST TIGHT AND KISS US TO SHOW EVERYBODY WE'RE HIS PLS PLS PLS JUST ONE CHANCE PLEASE 🙏

I WOULD DIG MYSELF A HOLE AND NEVER UNEARTH MYSELF IF I WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT

jongho

best source of comedy is the person lower on the power hierarchy to be absolutely real about the higher person's stupidity

who cares if you're the crown prince or the king you're straight up an idiot 🤨🫵

you're so real for wanting to be a sack of potatoes no thoughts head empty only being manhandled by choi jongho

RIGHT jongho make up your mind are you trying to bully reader or flirt with reader 😤 aND tAKE THE DAMN SPIDER WITH YOU

AHAHAHAH JONGHO'S AU WAS SO FUN TO WRITE SPECIFICALLY FOR ALL THE CRACK SCENES WITH THE SPIDERS

JONGHO STREAKING THROUGH THE CORRIDORS SCREAMING I BELIEVE THIS IS CANON 🤷‍♀️

Y E S i love you for noticing that he's teasing reader and pretending to be nonchalant wHILST LITERALLY BEING THE MOST LOVING unofficial-BOYFIE GIVING THEM THE BIGGER HALF AND WATER

KDJSGHSK I ALWAYS HAVE LIP BALM COME BACK HERE WITH YOUR CHAPPED LIPS CHOI JONGHO 😍

oh. I OVERUSE THIS SO MUCH FOR THAT LIGHTBULB MOMENT IN THEIR HEADS BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH HAHAH oh. 🫨

GET YOUR OWN LIPBALM AHAHAHHAHA that's true he should buy his own damn lipbalm with his bodyguard pay smh

ateez as royals who fall for you (maknae line)

read hyung line here

genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes

length: 11.3k

c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)

a/n: as much as writing royals was tricky, it's kind of 🤢 sad 🤢 to see this au end. that being said nobody ask me for a pt 2 pls i need to recover from the trauma LMAOO and as always, huge thank you to the queen of royal au's herself @sorryimananti-romantic for helping me finish the fic and for teaching me how to make moodboards using something that is *not* word doc :')

san

pov: you're forbidden lovers

“shh,” san hushes you with a teasing curl of his fingers that are buried inside you. “wouldn’t want everyone outside to know what a dirty little slut the princess is, do you?”

his other hand covers your mouth, stifling the breathy moans and desperate whines that escape your lips as you sit in between his legs, naked and pressed back to lean against his chest

there is the sound of water splashing over the edge of the bathtub when san hooks his feet around your inner ankles so that he can spread your legs wider for him

he presses the palm of his hand harshly against your clit and your back arches with a muffled worship of his name

“or maybe you like that,” he teases “you like the idea of people knowing how good i make you feel with my fingers”

san removes his hand from your mouth and lowers it to pinch your nipple, smirking against your neck as you babble incoherently

he coos as he adds yet another finger into you, “imagine that, everyone knows you as the princess who loves being fucked dumb. and by one of her servants, no less”

all caution is thrown to wind and you drop your head back to lean against his shoulder, mouth lolling open with unrestrained pleads for more, more, faster as he angles his fingers to hit that sweet spot inside of you

“cum, princess” he demands

you grip bruises onto san’s thighs and arms when the pace of his fingers doesn’t relent even after your orgasm has washed over you

his arms tighten around you as his thighs flex to keep you still in his hold

you let out a choked sob from the overstimulation, teetering between pain and pleasure

“give me one more, i know you can do it,” he coaxes

the hand that has been fondling your breasts snakes down to rub your clit

with his fingers knuckle-deep inside of your pussy and his other hand playing relentlessly with your sensitive clit, the scale tips over and your vision blurs as another wave of pleasure hits you, more intense than the first one

“princess?” and then a knock. “are you okay?”

san slowly draws out the remainder of your orgasm with lazy thrusts of his finger into you

you just know he’s enjoying himself when you have to hide the shakiness in your voice to answer back to your maid outside, “everything’s fine. i’ll be done soon”

“soon?” san smirks, lifting you up by the waist to align your folds with his swollen cock. “then we better make this quick”

because you and san do not have the luxury of time, much less the luxury of love

he isn’t just another one of the numerous servants who serve you

he is everything to you despite how taboo it is for a princess and servant to love each other

his insignificance within the palace makes it much easier for him to slip away; for nobody to take notice

but at the same time, his insignificance is the whole reason why you two must be secretive in the first place

you make sure san has safely snuck out of the bathroom before you finally exit the bathtub and stand on unsteady legs

you allow your maids to come in and help you into the elaborate attire you are to wear for the afternoon

your parents have informed you that you are going to have visitors, thus requiring you to look your best

without much time left until the appointed meeting due to your…escapade, you make your way to the great hall, catching a glimpse of san’s dimpled smile from amongst the other body servants and waiting staff in the room

you have only just settled into your seat next to the king and queen when the guard outside the doors announces the arrival of your guests - the monarchs from the neodonian kingdom

schooling your expression to one of neutrality, you watch as they enter

and then you realise it isn’t just the neodonian king and queen who have come to visit

but the prince as well

he is undeniably handsome and pleasing to the eye with his sleekly gelled hair, chiseled features and tall, sturdy build

the young prince catches you looking at him and breaks out into a friendly smile and-

he has dimples too

the king garners everyone’s attention with a clear of his throat, before he welcomes the monarchs

prince jaehyun, you learn his name is

“after much discussion between ourselves and king jeong and queen jeong, we are pleased to announce our desire for closer relations between our kingdoms,” your father starts, booming voice resounding within the hall

you can’t stop yourself from looking over at him as he speaks with purpose, a strange niggling feeling starting to twist your stomach

the tight smile that your mother passes you from your father’s other side does little to settle your nerves

“as such,” the king continues, “we shall look forward to the engagement between my daughter and prince jaehyun”

there is a roaring sound in your ears, as if you have been pushed to stand under a raging waterfall

engagement

the engagement

you

prince jaehyun

the engagement between you and prince jaehyun

it takes everything in your body not to bolt up from your seat

your hands grip the armrests of your seat with a grasp so tight you are certain you will leave a permanent imprint of your agony

instead, you look around frantically for the one person your instincts are screaming for

where is san?

you are afraid to see how much this is going to hurt him

you are desperate to tell him that you had no idea about this

you are aching to press confessions of love and reassurance against his lips

but just like the insignificance of his status, san is nowhere to be seen

over the two years that you and san have been in your secret relationship, he has gained extensive knowledge of which particular tasks allow him a greater chance of seeing you, which corridors reach you the quickest, and which times during your schedule you have a break

never would you have thought he would use this knowledge to avoid you

it continues like that for the weeks following the announcement

you have no choice but to spend time with your future fiance when your father tells you very clearly to “ensure the prince feels at home”

prince jaehyun is warm and you find yourself getting along with him like you two are friends, but that is it - there are no sparks brighter than friendship

when you spend time with him, you cannot help but compare him to san; san would’ve said this, san would’ve done that, san, san, san

jaehyun engages you in conversation, easily filling in the gaps and lulls with little comments here and there, equipped with a charming laugh and deep dimples

but it only reminds you of san’s dimples and crescent eyes when you two would race through corridors, fingers tightly interwoven as you both run away to a secluded area with hushed giggles

jaehyun points out that neither of you like mushrooms during a dinner and helps nudge the servings on both of your plates to one side

the smile as you say “thank you” does not fully grace your lips because you think about san, who boasts that he will eat all the mushrooms in the world so that you never have to lay eyes on one ever again

jaehyun offers a soft yet sturdy hand to help you down the stairs or when he notices you are walking in heels across an uneven surface

your body recalls san’s rough, calloused hands that leave a trail of goosebumps wherever they touch your bare skin as he worships your body all night long

jaehyun is handsome and he is kind, but he is not san

the night before the king officially announces your engagement with prince jaehyun arrives

and still, you have not had a moment alone with san since he disappeared during that first announcement in the great hall

hurt and longing consume you to the very core

some days it is manageable, a concealed yet incessant thought, like a sticker stuck to the sole of your shoe

other days it wraps around your soul completely like a constrictor tightening as it slowly squeezes the life out of its prey

but you know that you cannot be selfish

what you feel, san feels with an intensity multiplied several times

after all, you are not the one who must stand in the shadows as the love of your life becomes engaged to somebody else, powerless to do anything but watch and poison your own smile with lies

you are lying on your bed when a quick, sharp knock sounds on your bedroom doors

you make no move to acknowledge your visitor, having told your maids very clearly you did not want to be disturbed tonight

your last night as yourself before you become prince jaehyun’s fiance

but then the knocks come a little more urgent, a little more frantic, just like your heartbeat does as it starts to speed up in anticipation

you hold your breath as you hurry to pull open the doors-

and there he is

“san-”

he swallows the rest of your words in a desperate kiss, his hands coming up to cradle your jaw as he walks you backwards so that he can step into your room

he tilts your head and slots his lips against yours again while he nudges your door closed with his foot

it isn’t until you let out a whine as his tongue swipes over your bottom lip that he pulls back to finally look at you, both of his thumbs caressing your cheekbones

you grip the front of his linen shirt, afraid that he will disappear as soon as you let go

“san, i- i had no idea, i didn’t agree to any of this”

he shushes you gently, a painful smile adorning his handsome face

“i know. i know, so please don’t cry, love,” he murmurs softly

you don’t even realise the weeks of suppressed emotions have started making their way down your face in salty trails until san uses the back of his fingers to tenderly brush them away

“i’m getting engaged tomorrow, san,” your voice breaks as reality settles in

you are so afraid

you are so lost

above all, you are so in love with san

“i know,” he reassures again, “but until tomorrow, you are still mine”

and so you spend your last night together

time has always been precious; conversations, kisses and touches rushed and with fervour

but tonight, san takes his time with you

he lays on your bed with you cradled on top of him, limbs tangled together as he savours the taste of your lips against his

he turns you onto your back as he slowly undresses you, leaving tattoos of his love each time he bares another part of your body

he pleasures you with his fingers whilst whispering into your ears, creating a harmony with his praises and the melodious moans that leave your lips

and as he brings you both to your highs numerous times throughout the night like an ingrained dance routine, it is accompanied with confessions of i love you

san holds you against his chest under your blankets so tightly that you cannot tell where your body ends and his body starts

before you drift off, safe and protected in his arms, he murmurs against your temple, “no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what happens in the future, my heart will always be yours”

“as will mine”

you wake up the next morning to an empty bed and an equally empty heart

restless and drowning in a mix of emotions, you pace the empty corridors of the guest bedchambers

which is where jaehyun finds you as he exits his room

he is surprised but is quick to greet you kindly, “good morning, princess. what are you doing here?”

you pause mid-step

what are you doing?

“prince jaehyun,” you let the words come out of you before you can regret them. “can we talk for a moment?”

he nods, entering his room again as he pulls the door open wider for you to follow

jaehyun closes the door and then offers you a seat on his sofa, before pulling up his own chair and settling a respectful distance away from you

“i hope you don’t feel uncomfortable in my room,” he explains, “i thought that we would be less likely to be disturbed in here…considering most people know of our engagement today”

“actually, i wanted to talk to you about that”

“go on,” he encourages you with a dimpled smile

you take a deep breath

“i’m sorry,” you blurt out

and then you are admitting to the prince that he is lovely and charming and caring, but you just don’t see it working out with him

you don’t want to get engaged with him

because your heart already belongs to somebody else

“good”

“i’m so sorry, i should have been honest with you from the start but- wait, what?” you look up from where you have been nervously picking at your cuticles

jaehyun is smiling at you - a genuine smile that you did not know he had

“i’m actually relieved to hear that, princess,” he admits. “because i…also have someone that i love back home”

and for the first time, you and jaehyun truly see each other in the same light

“who is it?” he asks

“his name is san,” and then you add on, “he has dimples just like you do”

you ask him the same question

you see the way jaehyun’s expression softens with love from just the mere thought of the other

it makes you wonder whether you have the same look on your face when you mention san

jaehyun jokes, “want to be the one who tells your father we’re calling off the engagement? i don’t fancy getting executed today”

but despite what he says, mere hours later, when you are both standing in the great hall before your parents - the kings and queens of both your kingdoms - he is the one to speak up

“your majesty, we have decided to part ways peacefully and would not like to proceed with the engagement. our kingdom will always be your ally, regardless of marital relations or not”

“what?” you see veins starting to appear across the king’s forehead as he tries to maintain his temper, but the queen and the jeong monarchs seem to be taking the news much better

disappointed, perhaps, but understanding

the queen leans closer to remind the king that they had all agreed to this engagement on the terms that the decision would ultimately be yours and jaehyun’s

you suddenly speak up because this may be the only time you have the courage to

“i have one more thing to say,” you declare. “i revoke my noble status and thus declare nullified all the privileges, rules and traditions that come with nobility. i have someone i love and i wish to marry them as myself, not as the kingdom’s princess”

the king roars furiously, “that is enough! leave!” and he slams his hand against the throne’s armrest

shocked and betrayed by your father’s reaction, you rush out of the great hall with tears welling in your eyes

only to run straight into the waiting arms of san

“oh, princess,” he murmurs against the crown of your head as he engulfs you in his embrace

he doesn’t have to say anything for you to realise that he has heard the whole conversation

but you do not care about anything anymore

you are where you want to be, held by who you want to be with

“how are you here?” you sniffle

“jaehyun approached me earlier. i thought i was going to get beat up,” san’s attempt to make you smile is successful

when you lift your head up to look at him, you realise his eyes are wet as well

then you feel his body stiffen as his eyes shift to focus on something behind you

someone

he immediately steps away from you, bowing deeply as he greets the queen

you turn around to see her face adorning an endearing smile

“it’s fine, sannie,” she says, and you are not sure whether you and san are more surprised by the fact that she knows him by name or by the affectionate nickname she has used

“i’ll, uh, leave you two to talk,” he flusters

she thanks him with a teasing remark, “i won’t keep her away from you for very long”

san waits further down the corridor, back turned to give you two a moment of privacy

and then she is stroking your hair affectionately

“i am so proud of you. you’ve grown up so well and you are so brave,” she says

you don’t understand

you ask, “why aren’t you angry?”

“oh, baby,” she fondly runs her fingers through your hair, just like she used to when you were younger. “before my duties as the queen to my people, i am the mother to my daughter. i love you and all i want is for you to be happy”

your lips tremble with emotion as your mother pulls you into a hug

“does sannie make you happy, dear?”

you nod, “the happiest”

“then that is all i want. now go,” she takes a hold of your shoulders and gently turns you in the direction of san. “i’ll talk to your father”

with one last encouraging squeeze, you race down the corridor towards san

he hears your footsteps and has already turned around with open arms waiting to catch you

you hear him let out an oomph! with how hard you throw yourself into him, but he is then swaying your bodies side to side

san pulls back slightly with an incredulous look. “does this mean we can be together? together together?”

“i goddamn hope so because i gave up my princess privileges for you. no more carriages, no more assorted sweet delicacies, no more daily massages-” you fold down your fingers as you continue listing things off

he cuts you off with a tickle to your sides as he says, “that’s easy to sort out”

“first, you’ll still be my princess,” he unfurls one of your fingers so it stands upright again

“second, i’ll carry you myself so that you never need to use your feet again,” he unfurls another finger

“i’ll give you a treat whenever you want,” he kisses your lips, nibbling on your bottom lip with a teasing tug

“and, dear princess,” he pulls you flush against his body and you have to steady yourself on his chest to avoid tripping over, “i can give you hourly massages…”

smirking, he starts to lower his head to suck pretty marks onto your neck as he whispers in a low voice, “...if you can keep up”

mingi

pov: you're the prince's maid

for what you are about to do, you could very well be executed should somebody catch you

but desperate times call for desperate measures

and there’s no guarantee that you and all the other staff will not be executed anyway…

not with what has just happened in the palace

you push the door closed behind you with a soft click, using the brief changeover of guards to slip inside the bedroom of the youngest prince, unnoticed

you call out softly but urgently, “prince mingi”

when you hear him groggily murmur, starting to bubble towards the surface of consciousness, you dare to give his shoulder a rough shake

“prince mingi, please wake up”

his eyes flutter open, confusion starting to clear the fogginess in his head as he struggles to comprehend the sight of your face hovering inches from his, deep into the hours of the night

“w-what’s going on?” he clears his husky voice, “are you okay?”

you wish you could reach out and smooth the wrinkles of concern from his forehead

reassure him that everything will be okay until he falls back asleep

but there is no time

“the crown prince is dead and we must leave. now.”

the effect is immediate, like you have just driven a knife into his chest

although you suppose it must not feel very different for prince mingi right now

“the crown prince is d-” the word tastes vile on his tongue, so he asks after his second oldest brother instead. “what about prince eun?”

you must drive the knife into him once more

“he was the one who murdered the crown prince, but he has framed you for the murder. there is no time, prince mingi, we must leave now”

“the court will find me innocent,” yet he lets you tug him out of his bed

you hastily help prince mingi into a dark brown robe while you shake your head, “not when your inscribed sword is currently covered in the crown prince’s blood. we do not know who is secretly working for prince eun. until we know for sure, we do not stand a chance of clearing your name”

he knows that you’re right, even if his heart is hoping that you are wrong

the prince slides his hand into the gap between his bed and wall, pulling out a spare sword and wrapping the belt around his waist

eyes sweeping across his chamber one final time, he locks eyes with you grimly before turning to flee

you follow the prince through a back passageway - it’s not entirely a secret and it won’t be long before the royal guards come for the prince, discover his empty bedroom and give chase

but it is long enough to give you two a head start

he helps you up onto the back of his personal horse before he swings himself up easily onto the saddle behind you

with a nudge of his feet, the prince sends the horse into a gallop

you startle with a yelp, having never ridden a horse before, much less one at this pace

prince mingi presses himself a little closer to you and slots his chest against your back as he leans forward to guide your hands to hold the reins with his

“here,” he murmurs, “just follow me”

he shifts one hand to settle on your waist, guiding your body into a comfortable rhythm that dances in sync with the horse’s movements and his own

when he’s sure you’ve gotten the hang of it, the prince places his hand back on the reins, yet he stays close, keeping you safely encased within his arms to prevent you from falling off

you’re not sure how long you two ride for

but at some point the prince slows the horse to a canter

with the slower sway of the steed, the steady clack of hooves against the forest floor, and the warmth of the prince around you, you drift off to his whispered, “sleep, i’ve got you”

you wake up to find yourself on a scratchy pile of leaves

the events of last night piece themselves together when you spot prince mingi, still adorning his deep blue silk pajamas, leaning against a tree a few feet away

it would have been a sight to see if not for the fact that-

“what are we going to do now?” you sit up, and the prince’s robe, you now register, falls from around your body

the prince gives you a warm smile as you rub the sleep from your eyes with fisted hands

“we’ll head into halsburg. the town is small enough the news should not have traveled that far yet. we’ll replenish some supplies and go from there”

it’s unspoken

the fact that there is no solid plan from there

even if the two of you have managed to escape the royal guards, for how long can you two run?

plus, it will be impossibly difficult to find evidence while on the run, when the answers are within the castle walls themselves

but you push those thoughts aside as you two enter halsburg, the prince’s hood pulled up over his face

you do the bulk of the purchases, less likely to be recognised by the townspeople

it’s mainly food and water for yourself, the prince, and his horse, and a simple tunic to replace his royal pajamas - something you have been teasing him about since you woke up

later that night, hours away from the outskirts of halsburg, you two settle for a couple hours of rest

a small fire crackles away to the song of the cicadas, an occasional pop as the licks of flames cast shadows across your faces

you glance at the prince sitting across from you, who is idly fiddling with his pajama top

specifically, the royal crest of the song family embroidered onto its front pocket

your heart clenches painfully, knowing the death of a family member is hard enough to process without the additional weight of being framed for murder, much less by your own brother who is the real culprit

“prince mingi…” you start, voice low

he glances up at you, eyes softening as he curves his lips up into a small smile, “i’m okay.”

you hesitate for a split second before letting the clench in your gut pull you to your feet, and you shuffle to settle back down in front of the fire, except this time beside the prince

all the while his eyes never leave you, not even when you nudge his shoulder softly and say,

“you don’t have to be strong. not in front of me…”

and he knows

because despite the differences in your social statuses, you are the person he trusts the most

you, the girl who used to trip over the lengths of his robes that you carried, now a woman who holds herself righteously and bravely

you, who chose to risk your own life from the moment you woke him up in his chambers

you, who is still risking your life to flee with him

“only if you stop calling me prince,” he jokingly nudges you back, attempting to make the atmosphere lighter despite the wetness that is starting to paint his eyes. “with you, i am just mingi”

“okay, prince mingi,” you tease

yet, you still extend a hand out to him, palm upturned in a silent invitation for comfort should he wish to seek it, because you can tell that he isn’t quite ready to seek it verbally

mingi laces his larger fingers through yours, tucking your interlocked hands closer to his body as he draws his knees up so that he can rest his chin upon them

mingi thinks that he feels numb more than anything, but he finds he isn’t as surprised as one would expect him to be

perhaps he always knew of his middle brother’s thirst for the throne

he just never thought it would be enough to spill blood

for now though, he lets himself be distracted by your thumb tracing mindless patterns against his knuckles

he lets himself relish in the heat radiating from your side that seems to warm him from inside out, even as the embers of the fire slowly lose their glow and die out with the darkening night

the days start to repeat themselves

you two cover as much distance as you can while sparing what time you can afford for yourselves and mingi’s horse to rest

mingi has decided to travel to prince yunho's kingdom, an old and trusted ally who may be able to provide you two with protection while he pulls strings to fight back against prince eun

from his calculations, the journey will take at least another two weeks

and although mingi doesn’t tell you this, deep down he does not know whether you two have two weeks left

the threat of the royal guards catching up hangs over the two of you like a hangman’s noose

neither of you have brought up that night by the fire either

but something has definitely changed in the way you seek comfort and reassurance in each other

as if so long as you have each other, everything will be alright in the end

when you feel him tremble as he sleeps curled around you, restless from a plaguing nightmare, you hush sweet nothings and brush his locks away from his forehead until his breathing steadies out again

and when you’re seated on the saddle in front of him, you now having long grown accustomed to horse riding, he still finds himself resting a comforting hand on you somewhere - your hips, thigh or over your own hand

sometimes when he is laughing softly with you, your arms brushing against each other, you imagine a different story; one where you are worthy of loving him

sometimes when you are tucked into his chest, small exhales escaping your open lips as you sleep, mingi imagines a different story; one where he is able to love you freely

because despite the blood running through his veins that has ultimately led to his downfall, you still look at him as though he has placed the stars in the very sky that you two have spent countless nights under

and although he knows the reality is that he cannot, he tries to write his own story, even if just for tonight

you are lying in his arms, legs tangled together, when the question comes tumbling out of his lips

“will you stay with me, forever?”

he feels you still in his embrace, before you’re pulling back a little to look at him with a chuckle

“you should be asking a princess that, prince mingi, not somebody like me”

“you are a princess in my eyes”

you can’t help the endearing look that crosses over your face as you lightly tap his nose, “you know that is not how it works”

“then we can run away. for i am already as good as dead to my kingdom,” he tells you with boyish determination

“you cannot, mingi. your people need a good prince”

“but what prince would i be if i cannot even boldly love you? the person who is dearest to me?”

under his sincere gaze and the weight of his words, you allow him this moment of solace

because perhaps, you want it just as much as he does

“okay, i’ll be your princess,” you breathe out

“forever?”

“forever”

that night, it is just you and mingi - no titles that separate your world from his, no looming threat of death - just two people in love

even as an uneasy pit settles at the bottom of mingi’s stomach, a growing feeling that gnaws away at him into the early hours of the next morning

he is startled awake, your expression frightened, and he immediately understands when he hears the thunderous chorus of hooves hitting the ground towards you two

mingi had known there was not much time left, but he did not think that the inevitable confrontation would happen this soon, only mere hours after the soft kiss he had pressed against your forehead

the desperate attempt to escape once more is futile, the royal guards closing the distance within minutes

left with no choice but to stop, you and mingi demount and the guards move to flank you both in a wide semicircle

when the head of the guards, prince eun, saunters forward, mingi matches with a stride of his own so that he can step in front of you

“you killed the crown prince, eun,” mingi spits at his brother

“running and denying your actions up until your very last moments, i see,” prince eun laughs condescendingly. “and you even took a little dog with you, too”

mingi presses you closer to his back, hiding you from the leering gaze of his brother

prince eun smiles smugly at mingi’s reaction, before he takes out a scroll and unravels it

“for high treason of the assassination of the crown prince, the king hereby decrees the immediate revocation of nobility of his third son, song mingi, and for the execution of song mingi and his maid upon sighting.”

you press your nose into mingi’s back, taking one last inhale of his familiar scent

the bowmen all take aim as prince eun sneers, “any last words, brother?”

mingi turns around, and all you can see in that moment are his warm eyes and dimpled cheeks

“i love you, my princess,” he proclaims

“forever,” you reply

he brings his lips down to connect them with yours, drowning out the distinct vibration of loosening strings and the hiss of flying arrows with the roaring symphony in your hearts

you’re unsure what pain swallows you whole first - the pain as an arrowhead sinks into your chest, or the pain as you realise that this is the end of your short-lived love with mingi

you struggle to keep the smile on your face as you lock eyes with mingi, trying to memorise the loving gaze that adorns his own face

you see his mouth moving, but the pain exploding throughout your body is too loud for you to make out his words

with your last breath, you gasp out your final confession, “i love you too, mingi. we’ll meet again in the next life”

as the world starts to fade away, cold creeping into your limbs, you hope that in another story, in another lifetime, you and mingi will be able to find each other again

wooyoung

pov: you're the princess of a rival kingdom

“absolutely not, advisor lee,” your mother raises her nose in the air

“your highness, i understand but-”

“oh please, do not flatter yourself, queen cho,” queen jung spits out, “you are not the only one who abhors the idea”

you glare at the prince sitting across from you, your own gazes reflecting the tension in the room

advisor lee has suggested that your family and the jung family host a joint royal ball as a grand display of amity between the two neighbouring kingdoms, particularly between the princess - yourself - and their prince - prince wooyoung

there have been spreading rumours in town of the strained relationship between the two royal families

which aren’t entirely untrue

as a child, the two kingdoms have been loyal and steadfast in their alliance and friendship

in fact, it is not uncommon to find you joining prince wooyoung in his kitchen, begging the chefs to let you two lick the spoons

or to find prince wooyoung squatting next to you in your garden as you both look at the ladybugs

but as power imbalances emerge and political agendas start to diverge, a wedge is driven between your families

the relation is now dangerously close to severing completely, but not without the increasing attention of the towns surrounding the two kingdoms

and one of the last things both royal families need is unease and disunity amongst the commoners

which brings advisor lee to look on with exasperation as he tries to do his job - advise

except neither your mother nor queen jung look ready to accept his advice

your father nods slightly at the two of you, “you are dismissed, as are you, prince wooyoung”

you curtsy as the prince takes a slight bow, before you obnoxiously flick your hair over your shoulder and turn away on your heels

you escape to the garden, knowing that the meeting will take at least another hour before you are required to bid the jung family farewell

except, surprise surprise

who do you run into

you narrow your eyes at prince wooyoung as he steps towards you, who has one eyebrow quirked, “a royal ball, he says?”

“absolutely not,” you fold your arms across your chest

“oh please, do not flatter yourself, princess,” he sneers, not dissimilar to the nasally tone his mother had voiced her dissatisfaction earlier with

neither of you back down, daring the other to say something else

before you two break out into giggles, eyes glittering scandalously

“did you see your mother deliberately pass the salt instead of sugar for the tea?”

“and then the face my mother made when she took a sip of it-”

he pulls you to crouch behind an azalea bush as you both chortle like children, out of sight, before he brings you in for a dizzying kiss

you sigh, resting a hand on his chest

“do you also abhor the idea of dancing with me, prince wooyoung?” a teasing lilt in your voice

“absolutely,” he nods grimly, “why go to all that effort when there is a much grander and longer-lasting solution?”

“and what is that, my prince?”

he sneaks another chaste kiss from your lips, “for me to take your hand in marriage, my princess”

at his words, your smile dampens

“you know that i would say yes in a heartbeat. it is not i who needs convincing, but our parents”

because despite the growing hostility between your two families, the relationship you share with wooyoung has, ironically, blossomed into one of well-concealed adoration, intimacy and love

you two have come to learn that that one slightly lighter stone on the western side of your kingdom’s outer walls comes loose, and is the perfect size for slipping a piece of paper behind it

you two have also come to learn that every fourth week, if you ask your personal tutor enough questions about the plants laid out on the store’s table in front of you during your scheduled lesson in town, you’ll be able to drag it out long enough for you both to just catch a glimpse of each other as he and his escorts cut through the town on their way back to his kingdom

and of course, you two have come to learn the most isolated spots in your own respective kingdoms, like the second stairwell leading down to the cellar in wooyoung’s palace

and amongst the azalea bushes in the back garden in yours

which is exactly how you knew that he would appear, how you knew that he would give you those sweet kisses you have been craving so desperately

as wooyoung cups your jaw to kiss you once more, one that leaves you wanting to chase his lips forever, he bets you that it’ll only take two weeks of close-quarter meetings between your royal families before one of your mothers blow up and the ball idea falls through completely

in response, you bet him that they won’t even last two weeks - one at the most

except you’re both wrong

the meeting turns into two, followed by several more as the planning goes ahead

sometimes, the meetings are held in the jung palace

other times, their family journeys to your kingdom instead

one thing that stays constant is the malevolence in the air

the parents are sarcastic snipes and saccharine smiles

and on the surface, you and wooyoung are further extensions of your own parents’ simmering loathing for the other

but under the intricately-carved wooden table, you two are playing footsies, jeweled heels and leather shoes engaged in a playful fight

you see how many times you can slide your heels up along his shin, gradually inching closer towards his inner thigh with each coquettish touch

he has you pass him anything and everything under the guise of forgoing the help of the numerous royal butlers and maids around the room to deliberately irritate you

really, it is to accidentally brush his fingers over your hands; to see the pretty shade of rose that settles over your cheeks and ears as you both try not to break out into giggles

and perhaps, during the meals that may take place during the meetings, there have been a couple of peas flicked at each other here and there when no one is paying attention

(unbeknownst to you two, the maids and butlers alike must hide their own endearing smiles)

the weeks turn into months and you practically have a permanent glow radiating from you, now that you have been seeing the prince so frequently

(which also does not go unnoticed)

as you select a necklace from the assortment of choices to emphasise the plunging neckline of your off-shoulder gown, you wonder how the day of the royal ball has arrived so quickly

your personal maid, jihye, carefully fixes the clasp of the necklace around you before stepping back to let you look in the mirror

you smooth a hand over the soft lavender charmeuse of your dress, nervously looking at jihye

“how do i look?”

“stunning, my princess,” she assures you, before adding, “prince wooyoung will definitely love it”

“prin- he- what? i- sorry?” you say unintelligibly, before you try to salvage the situation by tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you laugh her off

but jihye just looks at you knowingly

meanwhile, prince wooyoung is already at the grand hall, the jung family having arrived two days prior for the final preparations of the ball

he and his friends, princes from kingdoms located further up north and towards the east, are lingering around one of the tables decorated with flower arrangements and elaborate candle holders, ignoring the longing glances of other attendees, women and men alike, thrown at their striking posse

wooyoung is trying to keep his gaze subtle, scanning the vast number of people at the ball without craning or turning his head, searching for one particular face

yours

prince yeosang nudges the others, jerking his chin to motion towards the distracted wooyoung

when wooyoung finally realises he isn’t as subtle as he thinks, all his friends are already looking at him with varying degrees of smirks

“just know that if there were not so many people here,” wooyoung begins with a pleasant smile, “i would flip you all off right now”

before he can try stepping on his friends’ toes in the form of petty revenge, prince seonghwa points towards the entrance as his smile grows impossibly wider

“look”

wooyoung turns around

and like any typical man who is head over heels in love, the world around him slows down

the gushing whispers spreading throughout the ballroom fade into the background

because finally, there you are, gracefully stepping past the threshold of the arched doorway in all your alluring beauty, accentuated by the way your curled locks and flowing gown frame your body

for the briefest moment, you lock eyes with him, and wooyoung feels his brain shutting down on him

“you’re going to catch a fly in your mouth, woo”

“pick up your jaw. it’s on the ground”

prince yunho pretends to dab wooyoung’s mouth with the ruffled sleeves of his cream shirt, “you’re drooling, darling”

at that, wooyoung smacks his lips dazedly before coming to a moment of realisation, blinking hard twice to bring himself back to reality

“god, you’re hopeless. just go up and talk to her,” prince hongjoong snickers. “the whole point of this ball is to show off how ‘close’ your families are anyway”

wooyoung grumbles that he knows, he’s just looking for the right timing

which, unfortunately, does not seem to come

you spend what feels like the next two hours being whisked around, feigning polite interest as you are forced to engage in dull and bland conversations with numerous men of differing royal statuses, all of whom are no doubt trying to make an impression on you in hopes of becoming a potential suitor in the future

not that you have eyes for anyone apart from the one who already has your heart

the very same person who is currently fed up with watching you converse and let your hands be kissed by men who are not him

even if he knows you are pretending, he thinks that you sure are damn good at giggling at all the right times

you are trying not to let your smile turn into a grimace as the older-aged man, lord ryu you think, boasts of his wealth to you, when wooyoung enters your peripheral vision

“princess, lord ryu,” he greets you both, before looking down at the latter, “pardon me as i take the princess for a dance”

lord ryu, visibly irked but unable to say anything to the prince of significantly higher status, lets go of your hand to step back into a bow, “of course, prince wooyoung”

you giggle, this time genuinely, as wooyoung takes your hand to gently lead you towards the center of the ballroom, where several others are starting to waltz to the soft music that is now playing

you rest a hand just below his shoulder, feeling the sturdiness of his muscles flexing beneath his shirt, as he places his other hand to settle on the dip of your waist

a little possessively, you might add

“you look beautiful today,” he murmurs lowly, away from any prying ears

“only today?” you quirk an eyebrow teasingly

his voice drops down an octave, “well it’s not every day that i can tell you, princess”

wooyoung’s eyes flicker down hungrily to look at your lips

you run your tongue slowly over your bottom lip, knowing it will drive him absolutely crazy that he cannot just take you right there and then in front of everybody

and you can see the moment his resolve snaps

“meet me for some fresh air in ten,” bringing his lips as close to the shell of your ear as he dares

and then he’s gone

you become progressively antsy as you wait out a generous amount of time after he leaves for you to also slip away from the ballroom

wooyoung pins you against a pillar as soon as you emerge in the garden, aching to kiss you and fight for dominance until you’re both breathless and light-headed

“you don’t know how desperately i wanted to kiss you in front of everyone - let the whole world know that you’re mine,” he nips at your bottom lip

you rest your hands on his chest, fingers curled around the pleated front of his satin shirt to hold yourself steady as he turns your lips into an artwork of swollen cherry reds

he tilts your head back a little more, your mouths moving in tandem, soft moans drawn out of you, when-

“what in god’s name is going on?”

you and wooyoung startle apart at the shriek

the blush dusting your faces pale almost immediately at the sight of not just your mother, but also queen jung and a few of the royal staff

it’s kind of amusing that of all things for the two queens to have the same mindset about, it is the discovery of you and wooyoung’s secret relationship that unites them, both sharing twin expressions of horror and revulsion

you’re ripped from each other’s arms as you are forced back into the confines of your bed chamber, royal ball long forgotten

your only solace is learned later that night, when jihye brings a trolley of food you have no appetite for, that the jung family have not yet returned to their kingdom

they are still in your palace somewhere

yet that does little to soothe your tears, overwhelmed by the drastic turn of events, and you do not know when you fall asleep that night

all you know is that it is to a bed too cold and a longing in your heart too gaping to ignore

“princess,” you look up to see jihye standing at your door the next morning, almost apologetic, “the king and queen request for your presence in the throne room”

as you approach the room after tidying your appearance, your breath hitches when you spot him just by the double doors

you barrel forwards into his waiting arms, uncaring of the staff following behind you

not that they have the heart to stop you either way

“i thought you would have been forced to leave,” you blurt, unable to believe that wooyoung is right in front of you

“i’m still here,” he chuckles. “i have been summoned by your parents”

your heart drops down to your stomach at his words as you realise what this meeting is about

“and i am glad they did, princess,” wooyoung is quick to interject before your apology makes it past the tip of your tongue. “i am going to ask for your hand in marriage. officially”

“what if they banish us from ever seeing each other again?” worry overwhelms you as your breathing quickens

wooyoung gently laces his fingers through yours, bringing up his other hand to cup your face and run his thumb comfortingly over the curve of your cheekbone to keep you grounded

“no matter what happens today, no matter what the outcome is,” he looks at you with the fierce determination of a man ready to give up anything and everything for your sake, “i will never ever stop fighting for you”

he presses his soft lips against yours

“for us,” he vows

your breathing evens out, and while your heartbeat still pounds inside your ribcage, you know that it marches in rhythm with the man in front of you

this time, not afraid to appear in front of the rulers of your kingdoms - your parents - you and wooyoung nod in reassurance at each other once more, hand in hand, before you both push the doors to the throne room open

together.

jongho

pov: you're under his protection as your royal guard

over the din of volunteered names in the meeting room, jongho steps forward

“your majesty, i will accompany the princess,” he declares

“choi jongho?” your father scans him up and down with regard before nodding in approval, “it is decided then”

“him? surely i need another person with me as well?” you protest

your father quirks an eyebrow at you, a subtle reminder that whilst he is your father, he is also the king

“no, you will need to travel in disguise and stay as discreet as possible. only jongho will accompany you as your royal guard”

your father looks away and starts to address the next item on the meeting agenda; it is quite clear there is no room for argument

meanwhile, jongho sidles up to you

“you trying to catch bugs or something? close your mouth, princess,” he teases under his breath

you nudge him with an elbow, “you’re the only bug i see around here”

he rolls his eyes but you both snicker in unison when one of your older sisters turns around to shush you with a dirty look

regardless, you stay silent for the rest of the meeting

you’re not sure why jongho stepped forward to take on this task

because for someone who is your main royal guard and is supposed to be loyal and obedient, he sure makes it clear that his job is about as gratifying as babysitting

(“you can’t talk to me like that. i’m the princess”)

(“no, you’re not. you’re an idiot”)

in fact, when you had been notified a few days prior that you would be traveling with one other royal guard - who had yet to be decided at the time - jongho had spent every single day gloating that he would finally get a break from babysitting you

and yet here he is

with the opportunity to hand you off to somebody else

but instead, baring his teeth at the other guards who offer themselves up for this scouting mission

he would never admit to it either, but jongho personally spoke to the king years ago about being rostered on as your main bodyguard since he’s “known the princess for the longest and so i can protect her the best”

you don’t want to travel to the border

you’re in charge of maintaining security and defense along your borders and with neighbouring kingdoms, usually dealing with complications remotely through the ministers and advisors who work for you

this time though, there has been recent unrest near the southern borders of your kingdom near denport, a city notorious for bandits and fugitives

the situation has worsened with increased risk of bloodshed, thus has the need for you to survey the borders in person

and as the youngest sibling of five, the king has made it very clear that this is your opportunity to prove your capabilities

jongho makes sure to remind you of this fact when you grumble your way through packing a satchel of essential items to take with you

(“your fluffy slippers are not essential, princess”)

(you listen and throw them back onto the floor of your bedchambers, but stuff in a few paperweights when he isn’t looking out of petty revenge because you know he’ll end up carrying your bag for you later when you ask him to)

it’s a relatively long journey to denport, so as soon as you are ready, jongho having long finished packing his own bag, you leave your kingdom with him at your side

by the time the sun is starting to set later that day, you’re passing through a small town

he suggests calling it a night and recuperating at one of the inns

you wait while he inquires about available rooms and then follow him through a small alleyway to the inn that he has chosen for the night

you take all but one look at the rotting wood and creaking sign at the entrance before you are crossing your arms like a petulant child

“there’s no way i’m staying the night in this sorry excuse of an inn”

he merely blinks

“you’re technically not the princess right now so you better listen to me or god help me, i’ll-”

“you’ll what,” you challenge, nose-to-nose

or nose-to-throat, you suppose

but before you can dwell any further on your height difference, jongho picks you up, slings you over his shoulder like you are nothing more than a sack of potatoes, and walks into the inn without a care in the world that you are screaming bloody murder

you resign to your fate and flop uselessly against his back as he carries you up the stairs

instead, when he throws you onto the bed upon entering the room, you look up at him sultrily and smirk, “ooh, now i’m turned on”

jongho shakes his head with exasperation but you don’t miss the redness that is creeping up the back of his neck as he turns around to close the door shut

“wait,” you sit up on the bed, “we’re sharing a room?”

“it’s safer. i’ll sleep on the sofa”

you scrunch your nose at the arrangement, but you do admittedly feel a little more at ease in the unfamiliar room of the inn

you start to take a shoe off before a thought flits through your mind and you point the shoe in your hand at him like a weapon, “you better not snore”

jongho rolls his eyes as he steps forward to take the shoe out of your hand, and then he is bending down to help slip off the shoe from your other foot

a thank you lies on the tip of your tongue

“you’re the only snorer in this room, princess”

nevermind.

it’s gone.

you’re settled in bed, waiting for jongho to finish washing up and turn off the lights, when you spot it

holy shit

your immediate reaction is to seek his protection

“jongho!”

the door to the bathroom swings open almost immediately as he rushes out, eyes alarmed, alert, and zeroing onto you

water drips off the ends of his hair and you can still spot suds on his exposed torso

“what’s wrong? are you okay? are you hurt?” his voice is laced with restrained panic

you point to the corner of the room and then he sees it too

his body stiffens completely

because, mere metres from the two of you, presence sinister and dangerous…

is a fucking spider

all is quiet and still for a while, your eyes flickering back and forth between your royal guard and the spider in a tense standoff

then, just as you are about to speak up, jongho grabs his bag and swiftly turns on his heels to head towards the room’s door

“where are you going?!” you shriek

he looks at you forlornly from over his shoulder, “to prepare for my execution”

“what the fuck are you on about, jongho?”

“for abandoning my duties and failing to protect you. farewell, princess. you are on your own from here-”

his sentence is cut short as the spider scuttles towards him

and that is how you two, disguised, but still a royal princess and royal guard no less, are given an eviction warning because he streaked through the corridors of the inn half naked and screaming at the top of his lungs

needless to say, the innkeeper ends up having to remove the spider for the two of you

“you’re so embarrassing,” you whisper to him once you two are finally settled in bed and on the sofa

“no, i’m jongho,” he cackles

you don’t humour him with a response, but you know he snickers himself to sleep that night

you can’t help but let the corner of your lips tug up as well

a few days later after leaving the town, you two are resting side by side against a tree trunk when you decide to grace jongho with the opportunity to redeem himself

he’s currently halving a sandwich so you two can share

“if i were trapped in a forest full of spiders and you were the only person who could save me,” you ask gravely, “what would you do?”

without missing a beat, he replies, “prepare to grieve your death and make sure your pet cat is well fed in your honour”

he passes you the bigger sandwich as you turn to look at him with the most scandalised expression

“can you at least pretend to think for a bit?” you grumble

there’s a hint of a smile on jongho’s face when he apologises, “okay, sorry. ask me again”

you hit him with a different scenario this time

“if you had to fight a giant spider who had taken me hostage, what would you do?”

he hums thoughtfully for a few seconds, unscrewing a canteen of water for you and placing it by your side

“i would say, she is all yours, your spidery majesty, and then i would bow and walk away”

“fuck you,” you shove him good-naturedly with your shoulder

he swipes the canteen before you can knock it over and presses it into your smaller hand instead, giving it a quick pat as he dismisses your insult, “sure, if you think you can handle my dick”

“like they say,” you waggle your eyebrows at him as your voice drops down lower, “practice makes perfect”

jongho’s stoic facade finally cracks when you lean in closer and he hurries to stand up and put some distance between you and him

he shifts his legs subtly, clearing his throat to say, “we should go, denport is close”

when you’ve finished off the last of your sandwich, you dust off your fingers and grab jongho’s offered hand to stand up too

“let’s go”

one thing you have both noticed is that the closer you get to the border between your kingdom and denport, the quieter and thicker the atmosphere seems to get

the small towns you pass through have less people roaming around; in fact, most people seem to flee back into the refuge of their own houses, locking their doors and closing their windows when they catch sight of your pair

and then it happens

your plan goes awry

you and jongho are harshly awoken by a commotion outside the small room you have rented for the night

there’s a sickening smell accompanied by wails of grief in the air

when you rush outside, all you can see is a huge crowd of people gathered and your ears strain to pick up on the broken hushes of information being thrown around

“his son is lucky to have been spared”

“lucky to have seen his father slaughtered by bandits?”

“i heard it wasn’t money that they were after, though”

“those damned denport devils are up to something”

that’s all you pick up on before jongho snatches your arm and leads you back into the inn, telling you that it’s too dangerous to be out there; too dangerous for you two to continue traveling

which leads to the very first argument you ever have with him

you two butt heads all the time with your own fiery fronts and hardheadedness but more often than not, he yields to you

you’re facing him in the dim room - it is shadier than that first inn you two made a stop at weeks ago, but you’re both sharing one room just like you two have done at every single inn since

“we need to go check it out!” you shout at him

jongho takes a shaky breath as he tries to keep his voice even, “no, we should go back to our kingdom, report on the situation and call for backup!”

you throw your hands up into the air, “we’re already here - we’re basically at denport! what if something blows up soon? it might be too late by the time we go back”

jongho steps in closer as his eyes narrow

you don’t cower because you know he would never hurt you, but you do step backwards because you don’t think you can keep a clear head when he is standing so close to you, proximity dizzying like the buzz of alcohol

“of all times for you to play hero and do something that you weren’t asked to, why now? why put yourself in danger?”

your back hits the wall as jongho corners you

your chest heaves, as does his, both of you overwhelmed with emotions

he holds your gaze but his eyes are rounded with agony and distress

you don’t understand why he is so against your decision

you don’t know what to say, until your eyes flicker down involuntarily at the movement of his lips parting to exhale-

“damn, jongho, your lips are real chapped. you should use some of my lip balm”

he blinks hard at the absurdity of what you chose to say

he looks at your lips

he makes a decision

“then give me some of yours,” he says, a little breathless

and then he’s pressing his chapped lips against your smooth ones, the taste of coconut filling your mouth as your lip balm smears

suddenly, he pulls back with the audacity to look shocked as if you are the one who kissed him

and then he leaves the room without another word

he doesn’t return that night and you don’t manage to sleep either

you wonder when you started becoming used to falling asleep with him in the same room

jongho clears his throat awkwardly when you open the door in the morning and find him leaning against the wall just by the doorframe

you’re not sure whether he came back not too long ago from god knows where, or whether he was actually standing guard outside all night

you think you know which one it is, even if he doesn’t confirm it

“we’re checking out,” he mumbles, shuffling briskly into the room to grab his few belongings he had left and exiting the room again with you trailing behind

neither of you say much more to each other

you think that he’s going to lead you back the way you two came, lead you back and undo the weeks’ worth of journeying and go back to the castle

but then he’s sighing, deep and burdened, and he gently takes your hand to continue on towards denport

he’s never held your hand before

not like this, at least, tenderly tugging you along with every step so that you are no more than a few inches away from his side

you want to bicker with him and chortle together like usual but you keep quiet, giving him the space that he appears to need even if he is physically ensuring you are tucked right into his side

you two walk until the sun has dipped below the horizon

from what you know, you are right along the southern border and denport will only be another half day’s walk away

jongho makes a small bonfire before he joins you to lean against a fallen log

he shimmies off his coat and drapes it over your legs and then the forest also settles into silence along with you both

it’s now or never

“why are you so against us going to the border?” you ask him

he runs his fingers through his hair

an unruly tuft of hair stays upright and you fold your arms to stop yourself from reaching out and smoothening it for him

he looks at you as he says, “i’m fine with me going to the border, it’s you i’m not fine with. you do remember that i’m your royal guard, right”

“is that all there is to your reason,” you push, “that you’re my guard?”

you both know you’re referring to more than just the argument itself

jongho’s gaze breaks away, looking ahead at the flames of the fire instead

he is silent

for once, jongho is unarmed; no immediate snark or teasing remark to toss back at you

you hear him swallow and take a breath

“i…i don’t know,” he starts. “all i know is that with each passing day, the more i want to keep you safe”

jongho looks at you again, eyebrows drawn down ever so slightly

“why do you make me feel so worried?”

at his words, your heart clenches in an unfamiliar way and you attempt to lighten the mood, “maybe you like me”

“maybe i do”

oh.

with the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes, it almost looks as though he is about to cry

“please, don’t go to the border, princess,” he begs softly

his plea remains unwavering and you find your heart doing the exact opposite

after a few seconds of silence, you say

“okay, jongho. i won’t”

the tension from his shoulders seeps out and he gently tugs you towards him so he can tuck you into his side once again

“you promise that we turn around and go back tomorrow morning?”

you nod against the warmth of the crook of his neck, then murmur, “do you think father will be disappointed in me? for returning?”

he rubs a hand up and down your arm soothingly

“of course not, princess. you’ve already done so much more than you needed to. he’ll be proud of you”

and then he adds on, “just like i’m proud of you”

this is the first time anyone has ever really validated your efforts; being the youngest of a large family means you are often overshadowed

caught off guard, all you can do is whisper out, “thank you, jongho”

he hums and you feel his smile against the crown of your head

you’ve never been drunk before, but you think that this is the closest you have ever gotten

you are intoxicated by him

“if you’re thankful,” the rumble of jongho’s voice against your cheek is pleasant, “can i ask for something?”

“whatever you want”

he eases you from the comfort of his neck and tilts your chin up slightly with a finger, cheeky grin plastered across his face

“can i have some more of your lip balm?”

#chron <3 #MOOT MOOT #crying at how long it took me to reply to this reblog oop #AS ALWAYS #THE BIGGEST FATTEST MOST LOVING THANK YOU TO YOU #YOU MAKE ME LOVE MY WORKS #YOU MAKE ME LOVE WRITING #MWAH MWAH KITHES FOR YOU <33333333

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h0estar · 2 years ago

Text

I READ IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'M GONNA FUCKING CRY MY BABY IS BACK

I WASNT EXPECTING TO SOB FR BUT IT'S NORAGAMI SO OFC THIS SHIT WILL BRING ME TO TEARS. I HAVE SM THOUGHTS AND I'M STILL PROCESSING WHAT'S LEFT OF MY EMOTIONS. ALL I KNOW IS I'M ECSTATIC THAT MY BOYS ARE FINALLY RECONCILED AND REUNITED. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR LIKE 4 YEARS BRO 😭

THE WAY YATO IS HUGGING YUKINE ANF THE WAY YUKINE IS JUST WRAPPING HIS PRECIOUS WOLF TAIL AROUND YATO GKAKXKXC I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ‼️‼️��️‼️‼️‼️‼️

BRB WHILE I GO FUCKING SOB IN A CORNER AND LISTEN TO FHE SONG I'VE ALWAYS ASSOCIATED THEM WITH SINCE THE TIME YATO CALLED YUKINE HIS BOY. He will ALWAYS ALWAYS be his boy :'))))))

#noragami 104.2 #OKAY HERE COMES THE TAGS #okay but yukine looked absolutely beautiful coming out of that fridge on his way to rescue yato :'))))#AND THE FUCKING SAKURA PETALS I WAS ALRDY BAWLING AT THAT PART #NO BC YK WHAT I GOT FROM THIS CHAPTER????????? YUKINE FINALLY COMMUNICATED WHAT HE FELT AND HE'S NOT SORRY FOR HIS FEELINGS #HE'S SORRY FOR THE THINGS HE DID WHEN HE WAS FEELING ALL THAT CHAOS AND I'M 100000000% FUCKING SURE THAT YATO COULD NOT CARE LESS #LIKE I JUST KNOW YATO DOESNT GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF HIS BELOVED SHINKI STINGS HIM TO DEATH #HE'S JUST HAPPY YUKINE IS BACK AND FINALLY WITH HIM 😭#LIKE THERE'S A LOT TO UNPACK FR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #AND THE WAY YATO FUCKING REACHED OUT TO HIM CRYING IN HIS BABY FORM CJWKCKEKFJKDC IT BROUGHT ME TO TEARS BRO I WAS FULL ON SOBBING #AND YUKINE WITH HIS PROTECTIVE LITTLE WOLF TAIL AROUND YATO VKSKCKD WHO KNEW I NEEDED TO SEE THIS #I WAS EXPECTING ADULT YATO CRADLING BABY YUKINE FR BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER 😭#ANW THAT'S ALL FROM ME IG I'M GONNA GO CRY AND LOOK BACK AT THEIR MOMENTS TG NOW #noragami #noragami spoilers #Spotify #mine

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txdxsh1 · 2 years ago

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HQ COUPLE PICTURES: YOUR BIRTHDAY EDITION !!

genre: fluff, comfort, and a lil crack

characters: ushijima wakatoshi, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, atsumu miya

important: all these take place in the timeskip unless stated otherwise !

authors note: hello wonderful people, i honestly don’t think this is going to preform very well but i hope a few of you still enjoy it <3 love you guys always

ushijima wakatoshi:

stop he is so cute

even though he tries really hard, he can’t get the day off from practice for your birthday :(

so by the time you wake up he’s already gone and you’re kind sad but understand

but you walk to the kitchen and see ALL those flowers 🥺🥺

he also left you a really cute love letter and ur basically crying cause ??? that’s SO cute ????

he calls you when they’re on a lunch break and he’s just really happy that you liked the flowers

so you go about your day doing whatever and have no idea that he got out early so he could prepare a surprise 🫢

you finally come home and hear noise coming from the bathroom (??)

you walk in to see the cute bath, candles, and champagne he prepared and AAAAA 🥹🥹

he sees your reaction and just smiles and walks over to kiss you

“happy birthday, my love”

brb sobbing my eyes out

oikawa tooru:

he really wants to be extra for you

but he’s just a broke high schooler 😭

however that does NOT stop him from doing his absolute best to make your birthday amazing

he starts off by knocking at your door SO early and ur like who the hell ??? 🤨🤨

only for you to open it and see ur boyfriend with coffee, donuts, and a gift in his hands 🥹

AND he looks so happy to see you 🥺🥺

he’s all like “hi baby, this is for you” SHUT UP HE SAYS IT SO SOFTLY AND SWEETLY

sobbing, crying, throwing up

you guys spend the morning together before he has to go but he won’t tell you where’s he off to

you don’t mind tho cause you have a plans with your close friends and he promised that he’d pick you up later on

so then the evening comes along and you’ve already such a great day

oikawa comes to pick you up and take you to his house

he turns on his lights and tell me why the other members of the seijoh 4 pop out and say “SURPRISE” 😭😭😭😭😭

THEYRE SO CUTE STOP

oikawa spent the whole afternoon trying to set up a cute little party for you with balloons, food, flowers, and your favorite flavor cake 😭🫶

and so the rest of the night is the 5 of you just having fun at your little surprise birthday party 🥹

kuroo tetsuro:

where do i even begin with this man

he wants to go ALL out pffft

honestly i don’t even know how this man did this all while you were asleep ??

but you wake up to a cake, flowers, and a bunch of balloons by your guys’ bed 🥺

he is SO happy when he sees you being all surprised and excited

“don’t worry baby, that’s just the start 😎”

it was, in fact, just the start

like he spends the whole day with you and when you guys arrive back home in the afternoon , he gives you all your presents ☹️

no cause tell me why this man hid them in the most random places LMAO

he’s pulling gift bags out of the attic and under the kitchen sink HAHAH

omg but i bet he got such thoughtful gifts too

okay but then he tells you to get ready but won’t tell you where you’re going

very suspicious coming from him 🤨

he takes you to the park at sunset and has a whole romantic picnic set up for you 😭😭😭😭

why is he so unintentionally good at being aesthetic tho ??

okay WAIT but then he reveals his last gift and it’s a PROMISE RING !!!1!1!1!

shut up i’m sobbing

sakusa kiyoomi:

okay i have a hc that sakusa is a really good gift giver

so this man just goes all out

you wake up and notice the gifts in the corner of the room like 😦😦⁉️

and then this man just walks in with cups of coffee and a little smug face

“oh good you’re awake” UWBHDBS

he hands you your coffee and just watches you open everything

omg no but he was so relieved when you said you didn’t want a party 😭

you guys spend the whole day together doing anything you wanted to do <3

then later on at night he makes you a really cute candlelit dinner 🥺

and for dessert you guys share that little cake 😭😭😭

he even sings you happy birthday which surprises u cause you’ve NEVER heard this man sing 😳

honestly it was a chill day but omi tried his best to make you feel special 🥲

atsumu miya:

okay but can you imagine high school atsumu being broke but still trying his best to do something for your birthday 🥺

he calls you the minute it’s your birthday and starts yelling (yes literally YELLING) about how much he loves you and how excited he is for you

“MY BABY HAPPY BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME I LOVE YOU”

later on he texts you the picture of all those happy meals with absolutely no context ?? 🤨 like sir ????

arrives at your door like 5 minutes later with a smug look on his face

you guys spend the afternoon munching on chicken nuggets, burgers, and fries while watching your favorite show

oh my god shut up and then not too long after, suna and osamu show up at your door with a cake 😭😭

you were informed that osamu baked it and atsumu decorated it HAHAH

tell him he did a good job PLS he was so proud of how it came out 😭😭

the boys sing you happy birthday but none of you could be bothered to cut slices so they’re like “eh fuck it” AND JUST STRAIGHT UP EAT IT WHOLE IN THE CONTAINER

it was a good day overall ☺️

reblogs are greatly appreciated !

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widowswineapologist · 3 years ago

Note

Hello again and I hope your 2022 is happy and healthy!❤️ I am in self-shipping hell (Tank and Edward are playing tug of war and I’m stuck in the middle of it help) Could you please write Ultimis Tank and Primis Richtofen mushy headcanons of their s/o cheering them up on a bad day?

AAAA SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I DELETED TUMBLR FOR A LIL WHILE BC I HAD NO SPACE ON MY PHONE-- I HOPE THESE R OKAY!!

warnings: uhhh depression nd slight suggestiveness. Also i did not proofread bc fuck that

Ultimis Dempsey:

- Okay honestly I think he's such a bitch whenever he's having a bad day. His sarcasm and overall assholery is amped up to 10. Probably gets into a lot of arguments with the crew too.

- Luckily for everyone else, you're Dempsey's pride and joy whether he's angry or not and he literally cannot help but smile at you whenever you try to cheer him up.

- He'll try to keep that gruff, tough dude persona when you start cracking jokes or being extremely sweet to him but the facade will just break after a few minutes.

- Tank totally does that thing where he cracks a smile and gets mad about it so he looks away from you.

- Literally say some stupid shit and he'll lose his fucking mind and then his mood is back to normal. You could just do some absolutely god awful impression of somebody and he'll straight up bust out laughing, it'll be cute. Do a horrible impression of one of your teammates and he'll join in. Needless to say, you both will throw SO MUCH SHADE.

- I think he would appreciate being distracted rather than directly comforted when he's having a bad day, yknow? But that isn't to say he won't appreciate a good hug or two. Just...not too many, okay? He's got a reputation to uphold.

- I personally think he's a little awkward with comforting people but he will definitely try to return the favor, to show his appreciation because we all know for a fact this motherfucker will be caught DEAD before he says "thank you for cheering me up" out loud.

- Also also,, there's another way to cheer him up if you're up for it 😳

Primis Richtofen:

- okay but when is he not having a bad day fr fr

- I imagine he's a lot more somber than Tank, but that isn't to say he ISN'T snappy. You know how bo4 Primis Richtofen is just a dick to everyone? He's prolly like that (cant blame him tho. imagine finding out everything u've been working so hard for is worthless nd ur crew wont care abt u even if u sacrifice urself to save their musty asses)

- He canonically has meltdowns (would they be called panic attacks? I've never had one b4 so I wouldn't know--) so I imagine he'd probably try to hide how he's feeling from you for the longest time bc he has to keep up that facade of he knows everything and has to do everything.

- You'd probably find out when looking for him around the grounds and you find him huddled in a corner sobbing and hyperventilating.

- Surprisingly, he'll let you hug him then. But get ready to be nearly crushed bc he's clinging to you and wont let go until he has no tears left to cry.

- Cheering him up is a difficult task bc he'll never truly feel better, but indulging him in his scientific ramblings, joking around with him, or offering to lighten his workload will make him feel better.

- But I think he'd catch onto what you're doing real quick, especially if you start asking abt wonder weapons to him so he can ramble his little heart out.

- I swear if he didn't love you before then, he would fall head over heels now. You're...going out of your way to cheer him up? When you have your own issues to deal with? Brb he's planning a impromptu wedding rn

- He won't ever forget it, and though he may be a little awkward himself, he'll definitely try to be there whenever you're having a bad day too <3

#cod zombies #tank dempsey #edward richtofen #richtofen x reader #dempsey x reader #tank dempsey x reader #edward richtofen x reader #*vomits words onto a text document and calls it writing <3*

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lowlights · 6 months ago

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Well shit that was just about the best thing in the whole world. OMG>

MOTHY. This is stunning. It's beautiful beyond words and so raw. It's so captivating to see how they get to know each other again- as adults, as survivors, as people still grappling with their pasts. Everything felt absolutely them and that every decision they made and word they said were true to who they were. I have many little bits that I loved, but here are a few!!

At night you lay in your bunk and wonder what life would be like if anybody gave a shit about you. Maybe you would have been with your parents when it all went down. You’d be a snarling monster but at least you wouldn’t be alone.

Well, fuck. This had me immediately wanting to cry. My heart just ached.

Some days you wish you were with them. Others you wish they were all dead.

I have to imagine that this would happen often, and perhaps in the same thought.

Too much of a coward to kill yourself, you wander around waiting for the cold or your hunger or a bear to do it for you.

Oh, darling reader. I think that if she hadn't ended up in Jackson soon, this would have happened. She really felt like she was at the end of her rope.

“You remember this old son of a bitch?” Tommy asks with a chuckle when he stops at the table in a far corner. And suddenly you’re face to face with Mr. Miller.

Ok first of all, I could hear Tommy say this in my head and it made me giggle because it was SO HIM. Also - Mr. Miller. YES. He would still be Mr. Miller in her head. What a perfect detail.

“I hoped you were dead every day since you left me,” you say. You can see on his face that Joel’s definitely wished the same thing.

The cold, dark truth from them both. She needed to say it but also needed to see plainly that Joel also wished for the same. This moment of stark and painful honesty was such a turning point for them.

“Joel. I forgive you,” you tell him.

Thank you for forgiving him. This really just made me fall apart.

“Sometimes I think I see her,” he chokes.

I absolutely love how you integrated this into your story. What a moment.

He presses his lips into your forehead. It feels bittersweet. A kiss you longed for for twenty years came and went.

I really love her in this story, and this moment summed it up. She didn't try to be something she wasn't, and said what she wanted to say to Joel, it felt. With this kiss also, it just made me almost proud that she was taking this moment to do what she's always wanted to do, even if it was the only time it would happen.

“It’s a dictionary,” you explain, “so you’ll quit cheating at Boggle.”

I fucking love that you went with Boggle for this scene!! I love their sweet dynamic and how Ellie was still present in their story.

He surrounds you with his massive arms and you fall asleep grateful that you don’t feel abandoned anymore.

Sobbing, brb.

“Pretty,” he says almost to himself.

Birdee can tell you, I love nothing more than when a Pedro boy calls his girl pretty. We love making them down bad, don't we?

A safe haven in the chaos, a bit of respite at the end of long years.

Get the fuck out of here this was SO GOOD. My heart is full and I ache for that old man. Job well done.

Unrequited (bfd! pre-outbreak!/Jackson!Joel Miller x f!reader)

Moth's Masterlist // follow @mothandpidgeon-updates and turn on notifications to stay updated with my fics!

pairing: bfd! pre-outbreak!/Jackson!Joel Miller x f!reader

rating: E 18+MDNI

summary: You arrive in Jackson 22 years after the outbreak only to be reunited with your best friend’s dad, the man that stole your heart and broke it when you were fourteen– Joel Miller.

contents: best friend's dad, age gap, outbreak night (nothing that isnt in ep 1), big angst, abandonment issues, brief suicidal ideation, daddy issues, grief, Joel guilt, unprotected p in v sex, reader doesn't know where Jakarta is, reader is not described physically but Joel picks (adult) reader up, moth never uses y/n.

wc: 9k

a/n: This has been a bitch to finish but I'm quite proud of where it ended up. It's the longest os I've written which makes me nervous nobody will want to read it but I hope you do.

Thank you a million times to @ezrasbirdie for making me finish this and betaing. Also thank you @lowlights for listening to me ramble on this! Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Old man, take a look at your life. I’m a lot like you. Neil Young

You’re waiting for Sarah on the front steps when she gets home. School ended nearly two hours ago and you’ve been sitting here a ball of nerves. The whole world seems to be uneasy this afternoon. You notice sirens, a team of fighter jets scrambling above. It's like your anxiety has spilled out of your chest and it’s taken life all around you.

You finger the corner of your notebook. On the inside are doodles— hearts and bubble letters. Juvenile daydreams put to paper. Your first name and after it his last, testing out the sound of who you would be if only you’d been born in a different decade. Mrs. Miller.

Sarah doesn’t look very happy to see you. It’s been two weeks since you’ve talked to her and you’ve never felt more lonely.

Her words still ring in your ears.

“It’s like you’re in love with my dad.”

“No I'm not!” you said, your whole body tingling with the heat of embarrassment. You’d never felt so exposed in your life.

“Sometimes I think that’s the only reason you’re even friends with me,” she said.

You've been ruminating on that accusation ever since. You pine for Mr. Miller the way only a fourteen year old can. It’s the kind of infatuation that makes you understand how Romeo and Juliet ended in tragedy. All-consuming, unrequited, so in love it hurts.

So maybe Sarah’s right. Your heart flutters every time Mr Miller appears in the kitchen, wearing a dark t-shirt that hugs his biceps. You try not to stare at his aquiline nose when he drives you home from Sarah’s soccer games. Sleep overs at the Miller’s house mean more opportunities to be around him, learn the little details that make him him. And there were plenty of sleep overs because your parents are always so busy fighting, they never bother to keep track of you.

But you’ve been in agony without your friend. It’s a pain sharper and more present than the yearning you’ve felt for Mr. Miller. You’ve talked to her every day since you moved to Austin in fourth grade and since this fight, there’s been an empty space in your heart.

“Hi.” You stand up, hoisting your backpack awkwardly over your shoulder.

“I’m supposed to go next door,” Sarah says.

“Can I just talk to you for a minute?” you ask.

She sighs but opens the front door with her key and lets you follow her into the living room.

“I’m sorry,” you say before you lose your nerve. “You’re right. I like your dad.”

It’s probably the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever owned up to. You wish you could explain to her that you know how silly it is to be in love with a full grown man, your best friend’s dad. It’s not like he’ll ever see you as anything other than a kid.

You can’t put into words how he makes you feel. It’s not just his broad shoulders or chocolate eyes, though it’s undeniable that he’s gorgeous. He asks about school and comes to see you in the musical. Joel is an adult that actually gives a crap about you.

You want to tell Sarah that one of the reasons you love her father so much is because of her. Because he’s such a good dad, because he raised such a cool, funny, smart daughter. That Sarah makes him better.

It’ll take years for you to find words for all of that. So you just do your best right now.

“I can’t help it. I wish I could,” you say.

That’s true. And not just because your crush has made you lose your only friend. It’s exhausting to feel such a powerful longing, to want something you know you’ll never have. It’s torture.

“But you’re my best friend. And that’s not why. I promise,” you say.

Sarah sighs heavily, her pretty hazel eyes full of remorse.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have said that. I just get jealous sometimes.”

“I promise I won’t make you feel that way ever again. I could never like him more than you,” you tell her, sitting beside her on the couch and looking her in the eye so she knows you mean it. “He’s…old.”

You both laugh.

��He’s so lame. This morning he said that Jakarta is in the Middle East,” she giggles.

You don’t know where the hell Jakarta is but of course Sarah does. You throw your arms around her. You’ve missed her so damn much. The past two weeks have felt like two decades.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her.

“Me too.” She returns your embrace. “Do you have to go home? You can sleep over if you want. It’s my dad’s birthday but I don’t think he’s going to be home until late.”

Your heart twinges at the offer and not because it means you might see Mr. Miller at breakfast. You won’t even look at him again. Tonight is about your friend.

You end up watching some corny action movies and gorging yourselves on microwave popcorn. Everything feels right again. You don’t think about Mr. Miller. In fact, you’re grateful that his double has gone over into a late night so you don’t have to be in the same room. You’ve sworn to yourself that you’ll act normal around him but you’re not sure that sheer willpower can stop you from getting butterflies when he’s right there.

At some point, you pass out in front of the tv, happier than you’ve been in a long time.

Sarah nudges you awake sometime after midnight, concern all over her face.

“Was I snoring?” you ask, groggy.

She’s looking out the window. Helicopters fly so low overhead, the whole house rattles. It’s a wonder you slept through all of this noise— the choppers are joined by the wail of a car alarm, pops like fireworks. The TV is playing a high-pitched tone and when you peer at it, you see a test pattern on the screen.

Dread settles in the pit of your stomach.

“Something’s going on,” Sarah says almost to herself.

A sudden thud against the back door makes you both jump. You swear, shaken out of your sleepy haze.

“Mercy?” Sarah asks.

You’ve spent enough time with Sarah to become acquainted with their neighbors The Adlers and their border collie Mercy. Mr Adler used to pay you each a dollar to walk him. Mercy’s frantically pawing at the glass.

Sarah goes to the door and steps into the yard. You follow, unsure you want to leave the familiar safety of the house but unwilling to be alone with such an eerie feeling in the air.

“What’re you doing out here, boy?” Sarah says, crouching down to pet the whimpering animal.

“Where’s your dad?” you ask her.

You hope the question doesn’t make Sarah think you’ve already forgotten your promise. Everything’s just so wrong. You’d feel a lot better with an adult around.

“Don’t think he came home yet,” she says. You can hear the concern in her voice. “Let’s take Mercy back. The Alder’s will be home.”

Mercy puts up a fight as Sarah pulls him across the lawn. It’s late and dark save the street lamp and a few porch lights that have been left on. You shiver despite the fact that it’s a warm southern night.

The front door to the Adler’s house stands open and inside is black. No. Bad. You want to run back to the Miller’s house and lock the door behind you but the promise of Mr. And Mrs. Adler inside keeps you moving towards the darkened entrance. Maybe Mrs. Adler will give you some cookies while you wait for Mr. Miller.

Sarah steps in first. The dog bucks and strains against her grip on his collar. Sarah fights to keep hold of him but Mercy’s thrashing makes him hard to pin down. He pulls free from Sarah’s grasp and darts away.

You have half a mind to do the same but Sarah keeps going forward. She’s scared, too, her breaths shallow as she tip toes down the hall.

“Mrs. Adler?” Sarah asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

You reach for each other without even realizing it and you enter the kitchen holding hands.

What you see there is beyond your wildest imaginings. There’s blood, a lot of it. Sarah’s shoe slides in the stuff and you grab her before she loses her balance. The room is cast in shadows but a street light streams through the window in the side door. Its beam falls over the form of Mr. Adler, limp on the floor. His back is against the door and a gush of dark blood sparkles in the sodium vapor.

You’ve never seen so much blood, never seen anyone injured so brutally. It looks like he’s been attacked by some wild animal. Mercy was acting strange but the dog couldn’t do that.

“Help me,” he rasps.

He’s speaking to you. You’re actually here. This is happening and you need to do something.

But before you can form a coherent thought, your eyes travel deeper into the kitchen. Beside the island is more blood…and more bodies.

As if seeing Sarah’s neighbor with his neck ripped open wasn’t enough of a horror, you’re now watching Nana hunched over Mrs. Adler’s corpse, her face buried in the younger woman’s neck. The scene before you makes no sense. Most of the time the old woman is barely conscious, hasn’t left her wheelchair in years and yet she’s on all fours before you looking feral.

Sarah squeezes your hand so tight you’re afraid your knuckles will break.

Nana slowly raises her face to you. Her eyes are pitch black and her mouth teems with twitching tendrils. You are staring at a living, breathing monster.

When she leaps at you, you and Sarah bolt for the door. Your heart hammers against your ribs. Sarah makes it out first and races towards the sidewalk.

Once you’ve gotten onto the front step, you slam the storm door shut behind you to trap whatever that thing is inside. SLAM. Nana collides with the door and it rattles violently. You hold it closed with every ounce of strength in you, listening to the creature behind it scratch and wail and willing yourself not to look through the glass to see its horrible face. Terror holds your muscles taught. You’re not sure how long you can stay like this, your sneakers skidding across the ground.

With a roar, Uncle Tommy’s truck pulls up at that very moment and Mr. Miller hops out of the passenger seat before its even come to a full stop. He’s a fearsome sight, broad and rippling with untamed energy, his muscular arms outlined by the headlights of the car. You’ve never been more grateful for his presence.

This nightmare is almost over. Joel’s come to save you.

“Girls get in the car!” he bellows. His voice is raw and ragged.

Just as you’re ready to make a run for it, The door flings out towards you, and you’re thrown aside as if you weigh nothing. You hit the driveway hard, your head connecting with concrete.

For a moment, you can’t hear anything but the gush of blood pumping in your ears. You’re dizzy. Suffocating. There’s a warm trickle at your temple. Sarah calls your name. Your vision is blurred but you can make out the ghoulish form of the creature barreling towards her.

“What’re we doing, Joel?” you hear Tommy ask.

There’s a thud and then quiet.

You gasp again and again but your lungs won’t fill.

Are you dying? Help. You need help. The monster lays lifeless at Joel’s feet and you pray that he’ll scoop you up and take you away from this. Your eyes finally come into focus to see Mr. Miller comforting Sarah, holding her face in his big palms, so fixated on her that he doesn’t notice that Mr. Adler has appeared in the doorway.

Mr. Adler is still covered in so much blood and his gait has become twitchy as if his legs are on backwards. He moves towards them and you want to call out a warning but you’re still choking for air. Luckily he hasn’t noticed you but he soon stands between you and the Millers.

“We’ve got to move,” Tommy says.

“Get in the car,” Mr. Miller says to Sarah, throwing a protective arm in front of her.

“But she’s hurt!”

She steps towards you. You’d cry her name but you’ve still got the wind knocked out of you and you’re too terrified to make a noise. Mr. Adler makes an inhuman sound as he advances, a croaking, growling gurgle.

Mr. Miller pushes Sarah towards the truck.

“Leave her!” he barks. “Get in the car!”

You sputter and choke as you watch Sarah, Joel, and Tommy drive away.

You wait for a long time.

As the truck pulls off of the curb, Mr. Adler is joined by his wife in the street, making chase. You’re finally able to draw breath and rouse your body off of the ground. You scramble back across the lawn to the Miller’s house and lock yourself inside. There’s enough adrenaline coursing through you that you’re able to push the sofa to barricade the front door. You draw all of the curtains and grab the biggest knife you can find in the kitchen. It’s ridiculous, something you’ve seen in scary movies, but you’re living in one right now.

You hide yourself away. Sarah’s bedroom seems like the obvious place to do it. Familiar and safe. You curl yourself into a ball in the corner, clutching your knife and staring at the closed door with wild eyes.

Sirens go through the night. Gunshots. At one point even the roar of a jet engine.

For hours your body quivers as you try to make sense of what you’ve just witnessed. Flesh-eating mutants. Gore. Death. You keep waiting to wake up from a bad dream but you don’t. They left you. They abandoned you in a nightmare.

No. That’s impossible. You can accept that a comatose elderly woman made supper out of her son in law but you refuse to believe that Joel would desert you.

He’ll come back for you. Sarah will convince him. There’s always been room for you in their family.

But as the sun begins to peek through the blinds and the noises outside fade away, you begin to lose hope.

The muscles in your body go slack, exhausted from hours of uncontrollable shaking. Your instinct for survival and your need for sleep war with each other. Exhaustion is winning.

You cautiously open the door to Sarah’s room. The house is still, more quiet than you’ve ever experienced. You creep into the room at the end of the hall. The olive green sheets on Joel’s bed are still messy from when he woke up here the day before. A normal morning. His birthday.

You rest the knife on the night stand amongst the things he emptied from his pockets— coins, receipts, a stray nail. You slip into the bed and wrap yourself up. It smells like him— spicy deodorant and sweat, fresh cut lumber like the hardware store. The scent reminds you of all those times he was close, when your heart leapt.

They’ll come back. Mr. Miller wouldn’t leave you.

He left you to die but you just go on living.

It takes some time before you’re brave enough to leave the Miller’s house and see what’s left of the world. Your parents are nowhere to be found. It’s safe to assume they were infected that first night.

You’re on your own.

A QZ is set up outside of San Antonio. They assign you to housing for separated minors. An orphanage. You never make friends, not really. Trust is too fickle.

On the worst nights, when you like yourself the least, Mr. Miller’s words echo around your skull. “Leave her.” She's not worth it. Forget her.

You don’t imagine yourself in his arms anymore. Instead you picture him and Sarah and Uncle Tommy, all happy and safe hiding out somewhere idyllic. A sweet little cabin with a stream nearby, surrounded by peaceful woods. You’ve heard some people live like that.

Some days you wish you were with them. Others you wish they were all dead.

When you turn 18, you age out of your living situation. It couldn’t come soon enough. Things are changing and it seems like all the kids that stay in FEDRA school are being groomed to go straight into uniform. You dodged that bullet but life’s not easy. Now you’re well and truly alone, scraping by to keep food in your mouth and a roof over your head.

It only lasts a few years, though. By the time you’re 21, there’s an emergency evacuation. Outbreaks are happening within the walls and with so many people living on top of each other, it’s only a matter of time before shit hits the fan. They send swaths of people to Dallas but word is, there’s no room for such numbers and they consider everyone from San Antonio an infection risk.

You’ve heard enough stories to know what that means. There won’t be a warm welcome when you reach the next QZ. So you ditch the convoy and head north.

You bounce around for years, sometimes with others, a lot of time solo. Doing what you have to. It’s not a life, just survival.

By the time you reach the wilds of Wyoming, you’ve had enough. You break off from the group you’re traveling with. You leave them this time, just decide to walk into the forest and let the earth swallow you up. You’re exhausted, sick of hanging on by a thread. Too much of a coward to kill yourself, you wander around waiting for the cold or your hunger or a bear to do it for you.

They find you. Some scouts that look mean and tough take pity on you and offer you a place with them in a commune where things are half normal.

It’s the first time being alone has worked to your advantage.

Jackson is a strange place. It has walls like the QZ but it’s quaint. There’s laughter and evergreen wreaths, happy children that build snowmen in the center of town. Some of these kids have no idea how fucked up the world has become. All they know is this charming little haven.

You spend the first few days in the infirmary, getting patched up, regaining your strength. You feel like an animal compared to the people in your new community. It’s hard to accept that they’re willing to help you, no strings attached.

Eventually you’re well enough to have your own place. They set you up with a little apartment over one of the stores in town. You’re invited to take your meals in the dining hall.

It takes you back to those first days at your new middle school after you came to Austin. Unfortunately, this time Sarah’s not there to offer you a seat at her lunch table.

You keep to yourself, overwhelmed by all of the strange new faces. Head down, you eat your breakfast. It’s the best food you’ve had in years. As your belly fills, you start to relax and try to get used to the idea of this being home.

Then you hear a familiar voice say your name. You wonder if you’re hallucinating when you see him standing in front of you.

He’s gained a few decades but he looks good. His hair is nearly shoulder length and there’s a mustache on his upper lip but that’s him alright.

“Uncle Tommy?” you manage.

“That really you?” he asks.

Tommy puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. His smile wrinkles the corners of his eyes. You nod and you’re smiling too.

You expect to be upset. Tommy was there when you were abandoned after all. But you’re flooded with relief and a small flame of hope.

“Shit. What’re the chances?” he asks, studying your face. “C’mere.”

He pulls you through the lines of tables. Your head spins with questions. How did he end up in Wyoming of all places? How long has he been here? Did you actually die out there only to be sent to this strange afterlife?

“You remember this old son of a bitch?” Tommy asks with a chuckle when he stops at the table in a far corner.

And suddenly you’re face to face with Mr. Miller.

He’s old. Grey hairs run through his stubble and curl from his temple. There are deep lines in his face. He’s still good looking despite how weathered his features have become, still broad, still with that wonderful silhouette.

It’s funny. In your mind’s eye, you’ve never imagined Joel aging. He stayed the same while you grew up.

He looks at you for a long moment and then his thick bottom lip falls agape. His eyes glitter and his dimple appears as he recognizes the woman that you’ve become.

“Kiddo,” he whispers as he stands up.

He pulls you into a hug and his wide palm smooths down your back. He still smells just how you remember and without warning you’re sobbing into the front of his flannel.

You spent hours upon hours imagining what you might say if you ever saw him again. Sometimes it was a speech biting with venom, others a confession, a question. Now, though, your mind is blank, overwhelmed that fate has brought you back together. A testament to your survival.

“It’s alright, babygirl. You’re okay,” he says into your hair. Words you needed to hear all those years ago.

You stay like this for a long time, surrounded by him. He holds you the way you wished he had as you cried into his pillow in that empty house. Eventually you pull yourself together with a shaking breath.

“Where’s Sarah?” you ask, casting your eyes around the crowd in the mess hall.

There’s a girl sitting beside Joel, her curly hair pulled back into a ponytail, watching this scene unfold. Everyone else is polite enough to pretend you’re not bawling in the middle of lunch. Can’t be the first time it’s happened.

At your question, Tommy goes stone faced. The muscle in Joel’s jaw ticks.

You shake your head in disbelief. “Infected?” you squeak out.

“It wasn’t like that,” Joel chokes.

“She didn’t make it through that first night,” Tommy says.

It’s a punch in the gut, the air’s knocked out of your chest all over again. While it had crushed you to be abandoned, part of you understood. Joel had to choose and he picked his daughter. Even if he’d been in love with you the way you used to dream about, he always would have chosen Sarah. You couldn’t hold that against him, no matter how much it hurt. There just wasn’t anyone in the world that would have saved you.

But knowing that he failed her, that he failed you both, makes you sick. All those years of bitterness come flooding back to you and your tears turn hot and furious.

“You let her die?” you demand. “You told her to leave me behind and you didn’t even save her?” You push Joel, your hands against the wet spots you left on his shirt. It’s ineffectual. He barely moves against your pathetic shove but his face crumples. You know he hates himself as much as you do in that moment but that’s not enough. You hit him as hard as you can and he does nothing to defend himself.

“Hey, hey,” Tommy says, trying a hand on your shoulder.

“You should’ve saved her,” you bark.

Heads have turned now as Tommy holds you back.

“I hoped you were dead every day since you left me,” you say.

You can see on his face that Joel’s definitely wished the same thing.

You go on berating him, your tears mixing with spit as you snarl and shout, until Tommy’s able to wrestle you out of the dining hall.

The summer comes. After a long, cold winter, everyone in Jackson welcomes the change of seasons with open arms. Everyone but Joel.

Ellie was a salve for the deep wounds on his heart. They’ll never fully heal but at least they stopped overwhelming him for some time. Since your dramatic reunion, though, those scars have been torn open once more. Especially today.

It’s warm and there’s barely a cloud in the sky. The July weather is mild compared to summers in Texas. Fresh air blows in through the open windows of the house, beckoning Joel outside but he has no desire to be in the sunshine.

“You okay?” Ellie asks.

She’s just come down the stairs. It’s early and Joel’s already at the kitchen table. Didn’t sleep much.

He and Ellie have been together long enough that she understands the wordless shifts in his moods. They’ve gotten worse since you arrived in Jackson. He does his work and patrols, sometimes he nurses a whiskey alone at the bar. The rest of the time he keeps to himself. He’s sliding back towards the man she met back in Boston. Joel’s rebuilt the walls that surrounded him, brick by brick since that afternoon in the dining hall.

“I was going to meet Dina at the mess. Want to come? Or I could stick around?” she offers.

It’s going to be one of those dark days, the kind that makes him question why he’s been hanging on for so long, and Ellie knows it. She’s giving him a lifeline, offering to be with him so he doesn’t have to ask. He should accept it, but he doesn’t want to waste his energy putting on a brave face for her when he feels so broken.

“That’s alright, Ellie. Go on,” he says.

She doesn’t push him. She never does. She just gives a sympathetic smile before she slips out.

Once seems gone, his heart begins to ache.

Sometime later, there’s a knock at the door. The last person he expects to see on the porch is you. You look a little nervous, like if he’d taken longer to come to the door you might’ve bolted.

He hasn’t spoken to you since that day that you came back into his life but the words you said play relentlessly on loop in his mind. He should have made amends by now. You were his daughter’s best friend and of all the places at the end of the world, you’ve ended up in the same town. He passes by the old pharmacy you live above just about every day, thinks about seeing if you’re in so you can have a conversation. He even knows what he’d say, but he can’t work up the courage. There aren’t any words that can make right what he did to you.

The guilt metastasized deep in his gut. His failure compounded.

So he doesn’t blame you for keeping your distance, avoiding him when your paths cross. He lets you be angry with him, as he deserves.

“Want some company?” you ask.

He recognizes the look on your face and it dawns on him that he might not be the only person struggling today. He steps aside to let you in.

Joel sets a cup of tea down in front of you. It’s not the real thing. Dried herbs from the garden Maria keeps. You’ve taken a seat across from him at the table, glancing around the kitchen so you don’t have to look at him.

“Surprised you remember,” he says.

“My best friend’s birthday?”

He shrugs as he pulls up a chair across from you. “Was a long time ago.”

“I think you underestimate the power of female friendships.”

You wear a soft smile that makes Joel’s heart ache a little harder. He takes a good look at you, seeing you up close for the first time. There are hints of the girl he knew back in Austin but she’s buried under years of hard living.

You’re the same age Sarah would have been today. The same age he was when he lost everything.

You sigh and scratch awkwardly at your neck.

“Listen, I’m sorry about…all that shit I said. It’s…” you trail off and he’s sure you’re still mad at him, deep down.

“I reckon I’m the one that owes an apology. I shouldn’t’ve left you back there. Sarah begged me not to,” he admits. “I was trying to keep her safe. But I fucked that up, too.”

“That’s not true. I was just angry,” you tell him.

“I was always so pissed at your parents for not caring enough about you. Turns out I was just as bad,” he says.

He hadn’t given any thought to the choice he made all those years ago. His priority was his family and he had no room for the rest of humanity. Joel didn’t realize until he saw your face again just how selfish that had made him. The past months he’s been haunted by the thought of it, a young thing all alone in the chaos. If Sarah’s watching over him, which sometimes he hopes she is, she’d be ashamed.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think since I got here and…I don’t blame you. I’m not your kid. It just—“ You laugh without humor. “God, it’s so stupid but I had a huge crush on you.”

Joel’s eyebrows shoot up. You fiddle with the chipped handle on your mug.

“I know. I was just a kid but I was head over heels for you,” you say.

Joel can feel himself blushing. It’s a sweet thought. He’s honored in a strange way. He remembers the gravity of Sarah’s crushes– Leonardo DiCaprio, Usher, some guy with a lip ring from one of those punk bands she listened to.

“So when you left me…I was a little heart broken.”

“Shit,” Joel says.

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know why I was so hurt,” you tell him, leaning forward in your seat. “You didn’t know any of that. And it’s not fair to hang that over your head. It wasn’t your job to rescue me.”

“Course it was,” Joel responds. “You were just a kid. I let you down.”

You look at him gratefully and a tear slips down your cheek. It takes a minute for you to fully take that in and it seems like something you’ve needed to hear.

“Joel. I forgive you,” you tell him.

A thick knot forms in his throat.

There’s a litany of names in his mind, so many people he’s failed. Henry and Sam. Tess. Sarah. He’s never expected to be absolved of any of his sins, he doesn't deserve to be forgiven. But those three words make him feel lighter, like he can stop beating himself up. At least for a moment.

He tucks his chin into his chest trying to keep his own tears from spilling over. Your hand slips over his, a gentle, reassuring touch.

The two of you stay like that for a little while, crying together, then becoming reacquainted. You talk for a long time. There’s a lot of catching up to do but the conversation keeps coming back to Sarah. It’s a gift to share memories of her, to hear stories that he’s never heard. You knew Sarah better than anyone in the world— her favorite store in the mall, what she wanted for her birthday. Her hopes, her dreams, her fears. No fourteen year old goes to her daddy with her problems. You were there for her, though. Right up until the end.

“I, um, you should have this,” you say. “Well, it’s yours.”

You and Joel have migrated to the couch in the living room as the afternoon has crept on. You reach into your back pocket, a little reluctant, and pull something out.

It’s a photograph, dog eared and creased from years of being carried with you. Joel recognizes the picture— you and him and Sarah, all three of you donning life jackets, smiling as you float on a calm river. He and Tommy took Sarah kayaking and she asked if you could tag along. It was a wonderful day. Blue, cloudless sky.

The last time he saw the photo it was hanging under a magnet on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

“How’d…”

“I stayed in your house for a while. After. Just kind of hoping you might come back. I took that when I left. And I ate all your food,” you say with a little chuckle. You wipe some snot from your nose. “I guess…well, you probably don’t have a lot of pictures of her.”

You’re right. There was an outdated school photograph in his wallet when they left that night and it had been too painful to look at for years. It still stings a little but it feels easier to share with someone, someone that knew her so well.

“You sure?” he asks.

You nod. “I know where to find it.”

He props the picture up on the coffee table so you can both look at it and meditate on that day when everything felt so perfect.

“Remember we made you play “Crazy in Love” on on repeat the whole way there?” you ask.

“I still get that goddamn song stuck in my head,” he complains.

You laugh and rest your head on his shoulder. The familiar gesture cracks something open inside of him. He’s taken back to his favorite nights when he’d watch a movie with Sarah and she’d cuddle against him. Somehow the memory doesn’t hurt as much as he anticipates.

You sit like that, looking at the picture, both quiet, your smiles fading as you remember what’s happened since.

“Sometimes I think I see her,” he chokes.

He’s never told anyone that. But it seems like you might understand, He trusts you won’t meet his admission with a pitying smile.

“How’s she look?” you ask.

He can’t help but chuckle. He nods.

You don’t say anything, you just burrow your head a little deeper into him. Joel puts a gentle kiss in your hair.

You’re a fixture in the Miller house once again, part of the family. You babysit for Maria and tell her embarrassing stories about Tommy. You and Ellie tease Joel relentlessly. You sit with him in the evenings, sometimes singing along when he pulls out his guitar, other nights neither of you speak at all.

Slowly, you find yourself falling in love with him all over again. It’s not the same infatuation you harbored when you were young. You’re both different people. And you hardly knew him back then. Not really. What did a fourteen year old know about grown men?

The two of you fall into an easy rhythm. After being alone for such a long time, it’s magical to have a companion. Joel seems grateful for the company, too. He’s there whenever you turn around, like a promise. He’s not leaving you behind even if you’re just going from the stables to the library.

Neither of you acknowledge it, this easy rapport. A light squeeze on your shoulder, holding your hand when you get misty eyed. He probably doesn’t mean anything by it but you’re pretty sure you can’t live without it. You bask in the sweetness of these exchanges, trying not to think too hard about the fact that you used to spend Saturday nights giggling on his daughter’s bedroom floor.

He’s still Mr. Miller, after all.

Autumn comes and you’re inseparable. You realize just how much when you convince him to attend the children’s choir performance in town. You expect him to demure. Watching kids being kids must be painful. But he’s by your side in the dining hall as the little ones sing “Clementine” and “Oh Susanna”.

He puts his arm around your shoulder so you can lean into him. It might just be a paternal gesture, maybe you’re still a little girl in his eyes. That’s ok with you if he keeps absentmindedly massaging your upper arm. You can’t remember the last time you felt so safe, so loved.

Afterwards, he walks you home and you’re in such a good mood, you start singing to yourself.

“Johnny Cash,” he says approvingly.

You laugh to yourself. “You know, I started listening to him ‘cause of you. You had his CD in your truck,” you admit.

You wanted to like all of the things Joel liked. He would think you were so interesting and grown up because you knew all the words to “Riders in the Sky.”

“Least I was a good influence,” Joel says, shaking his head, his cheeks turning pink.

He’s so handsome when he blushes, you feel a little giddy when you come to stop in front of the old pharmacy.

“G’night, darlin’,” he says, giving your hand one last squeeze.

He waits. He’ll stand here and watch you get inside like he always does. He doesn’t need to— it’s not like people even lock their doors in Jackson— but he’s insisted on it so fervently that you stopped arguing.

You shouldn’t do it. It’s so silly. But there’s a softness in his eyes and his gentle touch still tingles on your arm. His salt and pepper hair is caught in the string lights that line the empty street. You can’t help yourself.

You kiss him, smoothing your palms up the front of his flannel until you sink your fingers into the curls at the base of his neck. The tip of his nose is cold from the chill in the evening air but his lips are warm and sweet.

You haven’t had a whole lot of experience kissing. You’d just started doing it when the outbreak happened and things haven’t been very romantic since. This is one of the better ones. Relatively chaste but unbearably tender. Certainly better than you could have imagined all those years ago.

It lasts longer than you expect. Joel kisses you back. He rests his hand on your waist and the way it covers so much of your back makes you swoon. Soon, though, he’s pulling away, cradling your cheek.

“We shouldn’t do that,” he says.

“I know,” you sigh. You’re reluctant to break away, savoring the brush of his nose against yours.

It’s all wrong but you’re not ashamed for trying it.

“Just once. I’ve always wanted to,” you say.

He presses his lips into your forehead. It feels bittersweet. A kiss you longed for for twenty years came and went.

You wave to him from the door before you go in for the night.

That kiss confirms Joel’s fears.

He’s spent months convincing himself that this is completely platonic. He would never have feelings for his daughter’s best friend. Even if he always wants to be around you.

He’s looking after you, comforting you, protecting you. He’s making up for those years that he made you suffer through. You forgave him but he’ll never stop atoning.

And then you kissed him.

Suddenly, he’s buried in an avalanche of thoughts he’s been disavowing.

You’re pretty and soft. You're strong and you ease the pain of his memories. You make him feel a little less alone.

The warmth of your lips, your body pressed to his. He was ready to lose himself in you.

That’s when he heard it.

It was Sarah’s voice chiding him with all the reasons why this is wrong.

She’s been in his head, his inner critic since the day she died, pointing out every failure and weakness in him. He could picture her looking down on him with disgust. She’s the same age as your daughter. She was just a kid when you met her. She deserves better than you.

He’s making the same mistake as before, letting his instinct get the better of him. The responsible part of him takes control. He can’t give you any more reasons to try and kiss him again.

If Joel is good at one thing it’s denying himself.

He backs off and you can sense it, he knows you do. Sometimes he catches you looking at him and there’s a longing in your eye. It fucking kills him but it’s just another reason why he’s no good for you.

Despite whatever it does to you, you haven’t got anybody else in Jackson so you stick around. He can only imagine how much it hurts you.

“Why did I go north?” you complain when Joel opens the front door. You’re holding a scarf tight around your neck, shivering against the cold. The sky is a dismal shade of gray, snowfall on the horizon.

Joel gets you in the house with a chuckle. He starts a fire, a luxury you little apartment doesn’t afford. You shiver in front of the hearth.

“Traded for this,” you say, pulling a thick book out of your coat and tossing it onto the coffee table.

“Oh good. I was looking for some light reading material,” Ellie quips from her spot on the couch.

“It’s a dictionary,” you explain, “so you’ll quit cheating at Boggle.”

“You're in trouble now,” Joel laughs.

“I don’t cheat. I just know more words than you guys,” she says.

“Dentment is not a word,” you reply.

“Neither is thoard,” Joel says.

“Sure it is. I’m about to thoard the two of you in this game,” she says.

This should be enough. A winter day by the fire. The simple joy of a board game. Laughter. This is practically a normal life.

But each time Joel’s eyes fall on you, there’s a pang in his chest. You’re just close enough that he could reach out and touch you but he won’t. He can’t.

When the sun sets, Ellie retreats to her room. Eventually, you fall asleep on the couch, wrapped up in a quilt as the fire dies down. You look even younger, curled up serenely. There’s no worry on your brow. Usually your face is in a perpetual frown even when you’re not in a mood.

The snow is already knee deep with no signs of slowing. There’s no sense in sending you back out there.

Joel scoops you up as gently as he can. He feels his age, back straining, but he doesn’t mind. He enjoys how you nestle your face into his chest as he mounts the stairs, warm and snug in his arms. A smile pulls at his lips.

He sets you down carefully on his bed and you whimper groggily at the loss of his touch. Your eyes crack open.

“Snowing pretty bad. Sleep here. I’ll be on the couch,” he whispers.

“Stay,” you murmur.

He hesitates. Carrying you to bed was already crossing a line. He’s not worried about keeping his hands to himself. He’s been able to control himself for this long. If he lays down next to you, feeling you warming his sheets, smelling the peppermint soap on your skin, he’ll be so far gone for you, there’ll be no coming back.

But denying you this simple request feels cruel. He imagines you waking up here all alone. You’re half asleep but what if you remember asking him to remain only to be abandoned again?

He gets into bed, still fully clothed and careful to stay on his side. His jaw is clenched so tightly his teeth hurt. You give a satisfied hum and sink back into sleep, your body melting into the mattress.

Joel watches you for a moment, fights the urge to put a kiss on your forehead. He crosses his arms and stares at the ceiling, beginning to tangle with the web of emotions that accompany you. Once it gets too confusing, he drifts off as well.

When you reach out for him in your sleep, he can’t deny you. Joel tries his hardest to pretend it doesn’t feel good, that this isn’t something he’s wanted to do. So he imagines the nightmares that come to you. Reminds himself that you wouldn’t have seen any of that shit if he hadn’t left you for dead. Now that you're in his arms, he’ll make sure nothing touches you ever again. The least he can do is hold you and make sure it goes no further.

You both find reasons that you should stay the night. Neither of you acknowledge it. Joel just hands you one of his t-shirts and busies himself as you slip out of your clothes and get under the covers. It’s all rather innocent, Joel does more than rub your back even though you sometimes feel his morning wood through his sweatpants. If he wants you, he doesn’t let himself have you. And he could.

It’s fine with you if cuddling is all this is. You don’t try to do anything more than that, unwilling to upset the unspoken agreement between you. You can be satisfied with a broad, firm chest to rest your back against. Sleep is better beside him, his heart beats guiding your own. The weight of his arm draped across you makes your body feel deliciously heavy.

After a while, though, it happens.

Joel’s having a nightmare. His murmurs and restless movements wake you. His mouth twitches and his brow is creased. You smooth circles into his shoulder until his eyes open. Even in the darkness you can see the despair in them.

He blinks, coming back to reality, remembering he’s not wherever his dreams took him. You brush your fingers through his hair, gazing at one another as his breaths even out. Normally, his age is obvious– the lines in his forehead, the sun spots on his cheek– yet right now he looks young. Like a boy that needs to sleep with a night light.

You’re not sure who initiates but you find each other in the dark. At first he’s not kissing you at all, his lips are just brushing your cheek or your nose. It’s sweet and gentle. You try to hold in a moan, worried that any noise might shatter this moment.

The kisses are timid as if you’re both waiting for someone to stop this. Joel lets out a shuddering breath against you. This is a bad idea, you’re both thinking it. After you kissed him the last time, he held you at arms length. When this blows up, you’ll lose him entirely. But you need to be closer to him.

You open your mouth to him, tangle your legs between his. His hand slides under your shirt, roaming your bare skin. You thought that snuggling under the blanket was enough but now you realize just how hungry you’ve been to be touched. Really touched. He needs it too. Joel leans into your hand on his jaw with a whimper.

You don’t open your eyes. You might be the one dreaming and you don’t want to wake up.

It’s quiet, just the sound of hot breaths and desperate kisses, the swish of the sheets as you shift your hips to meet his. You keep yourself from rocking against him, try to enjoy the feeling of him without crossing yet another line, but you’re aching. His shirt has ridden up so you feel the softness of his middle, the light hairs on his chest. Your fingers intertwine with his as his mouth trails down the column of your neck and. Joel buries his face there.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes.

You’re not sure what he’s apologizing for. This? Then? The years in between? None of it matters because you want to live in this moment forever.

You shush him, pull him back to your mouth. You’re ready to lose yourself, to forget, to ignore the storm of thoughts constantly plaguing your mind. This is all you want.

You peel off your clothing, helping him slide out of his sweatpants until there’s nothing between you. Joel’s skin is warm and soft against you and you realize you’ve never been this close to another soul.

When Joel settles over you and you feel him throbbing between his legs, you shiver with nervous anticipation. You expect him to say something, to warn you that this is a bad idea, to promise this won’t change anything. But his brown eyes look as confused with need as you feel. There’s no room for thinking or it will crush this fragile moment like glass.

You tilt your hips to allow him in, already slick from being so close to him.

Slowly, he enters you, kissing you all the while. He makes a choked sound, wincing as his body stills. The noise makes you clench around him.

Together you take a moment to get your bearings and you adjust to the fullness of him. Joel’s eyes are pressed shut, his teeth digging into his bottom lip.

Before he begins to move, his thumb finds your clit, grazing it lightly. After years of solitude and now months being just out of reach of him, the sensation makes you gasp sharply.

You’ve had sex a handful of times. They had been more about fulfilling a self destructive urge than a desire for pleasure. It’s never been like this.

You start to lose sense of everything but the feelings of your body. Your core tenses and your breaths go short and you start to forget that it’s Joel whose hips are stuttering into you. It’s as if this euphoria can erase some of those awful memories.

Soon you’re shattering beneath him, a crescendo that has you tugging on his hair and gasping for air. Joel grunts into your ear. He follows after you, hissing as he pulls out of you. He pulses into his hand, his release dripping from his fist onto your sweat damp skin. Then he collapses onto you. You run your fingers through his long curls and he kisses your forehead. There might be tears in your eyes– maybe his too. It’s too dark to be sure– but when his breath evens out, it still sounds ragged against you.

Eventually he gets out of bed and leaves the room and, in that moment, you can feel everything hanging over your head again– what you’ve just done, the horrors of the world. Perhaps even more intense than before.

But Joel returns quickly. He flicks on the light on his bed side table and cleans you with a damp rag. His touch is gentle, reverent, and his dark eyes travel over your naked skin to yours. There’s a question in them, guilt, but you have no regrets. You smooth your hand out on the sheets beside you and he lays back on his pillow. He surrounds you with his massive arms and you fall asleep grateful that you don’t feel abandoned anymore.

You worry that it was just a one time thing, try to accept that it might never happen again. But the next time you share Joel’s bed, he’s pulling you into him, pressing kisses into your shoulder, nuzzling at the spot behind your ear. His hard length prods at the small of your back.

It starts like that every time. Intimate, sensual, quiet. It’s never tearing his clothes off or pushing you up against a wall. You just stay close, breath each other in, trail fingertips across skin. Neither of you ever speak above a whisper.

Joel barely talks at all except to ask, “That too much?” and “Feel good?”

You live for the moments when his hand skates over your hip, his dark eyes soft.

“Pretty,” he says almost to himself.

He’s such a beautiful man. Your fingers trace the smooth plane of his chest, dusted lightly with hair and a few stray freckles. Age has only improved him. The greys in his stubble catch the glow from the lamp on the nightstand. You study him with the same attention to detail you used in your youth. The cleft in his bottom lip, the dimples on his lower back, the scar on his temple. You’ve memorized it all.

Joel breaks open for you. He lets you see him vulnerable. He’ll fuck you with thrusts that shake loose deep emotions. Just as quickly, he’ll hold you together when it feels like you’re falling apart.

You lay with him after, sticky with the shared heat of your bodies but reluctant to roll away and break the connection.

Whatever this is, you don’t speak its name. There are too many questions and conflicts that it might not withstand. It exists only for you and him. A safe haven in the chaos, a bit of respite at the end of long years.

In his arms, you’re not his dead daughter’s best friend. He’s not the man that left you when you needed him most. You’re just two people that need to not be alone. Each time, it’s the same. The overwhelming bliss of Joel making love to you is second only to the understanding that he’s finally come back for you.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear from you. Comments and reblogs always appreciated.

#mothy this is just everything ok #fic rec #joel miller #tlou #joel miller fic #bfd!joel miller #joely my beloved #when can i be reader when is it my turn

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago

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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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bobfloydsbabe · 2 years ago

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Fuuuuuuck, I love this story so much, I never want it to end.

Ellie calling Nat mama made me tear up wtf. I’ve never been inclined towards kids, don’t want them, and generally don’t understand how anyone could, but that? That almost made me sob. I’m a chosen family trope bitch first, human second, and Nat chose Jake and Ellie. Brb I’m gonna go cry tears of happiness in a corner.

In conclusion

My Girl [Chapter 17][Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC]

Summary: Jake Seresin could be the answer to all of your dating woes. He’s the full package: steady job, mature, dependable, attractive to a fault. The polar opposite of every guy your age and he’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. But there’s one roadblock: he’s a single father to four-year-old Ellie. Jake is looking for a level of commitment you’re not quite sure you’re ready to give, and he’s not willing to bring someone into his daughter’s life who isn’t there for the long haul. And even if you are stepmom material, is Jake ready to let someone back in his life while still mourning the recent loss of his late wife?

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Lawyer Natalie West]

WC: 3.2K

Warning: Age gap, cursing, smut

Series masterlist here

Please fill out this form here to join my tag list

No matter how many mornings you spent together, waking up in Jake’s arms felt like a dream that you hoped to never end.

The three of you had created an easy routine. Jake woke up early and got Ellie dressed. You helped make her breakfast while he showered and packed her backpack, and the three of you would hang out in the kitchen for a few minutes, the adults sipping coffee, before he loaded up the Range Rover and drove Ellie to daycare as you went to your new office on the other side of town.

At night, you and Ellie would sit at the kitchen island talking and playing games while Jake cooked dinner. After Ellie was asleep, Jake would rub your feet as you drank a glass of wine and watched TV together, or he’d sit with you while you took a bath and tell you about his day. And the nights always ended the same: with Jake murmuring quietly in your ear, his hand pressed against your mouth, as he filled you up, stifling your moans with his lips as he pushed into you against the mattress, feeling you shake around him. You’d fall asleep in his arms — warm, content, happy.

And then the morning would come, and you got to do it all over again.

So when three weeks passed and Bradley and Cassie offered to take Ellie out for a zoo day and lunch, you were surprised to feel Jake step behind you as you rinsed berries at the kitchen sink, his mouth nuzzled against your shoulder.

“Hey honey,” he whispered softly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, and you dropped the colander with the berries, sinking into his embrace.

“Hi,” you murmured, closing your eyes and tipping your head back so it landed on Jake’s shoulder. That opened up your neck and Jake leaned forward, pressing his lips against the side of your neck forcing a moan out of your mouth. The sound alone made him hard, and you felt him grinding against your ass, pushing you into the counter beneath the sink.

“Fuck,” he muttered, fingers slowly untying the thin robe you were wearing until all he was touching was your blazing skin. “Need you now, baby.”

“Oh yeah?” you taunted, slipping off the robe and grinding your bare ass back against him. Jake whined at the contact, his fingers coming out and grabbing your hips tightly, pressing bruises against your delicate skin.

“Yeah,” he choked out and then his arms were gone. You turned around halfway, about to complain that he was leaving, when you saw that Jake had a grin on his face as he yanked off his pajama shorts and t-shirt, cock hard and straight as he stepped closer, pressing his warm body against yours, his lips back on your neck. “Fuck, you’re so sexy,” he whispered against your skin.

“Jake,” you moaned, reaching one hand around and threading it into his hair. “Fuck me, please.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, dipping his fingers between your legs, nudging them open as he trailed around your slit, gathering the wetness and circling your clit, causing you to bend forward, head on your forearms resting against the edge of the sink. Jake grunted behind you as your ass brushed his hard cock, and he plunged his fingers into you without warning, causing you to cry out.

“Jake!”

“I got you, baby,” he whispered, trailing kisses along your spine as he pumped his fingers into you quickly, curling upward. You started to pant and Jake pulled his fingers out just as you felt an orgasm building.

“Hey!” you argued, only to be met with the tip of Jake’s cock nudging your entrance.

“Bend over for me baby.” Jake’s hands shifted your thighs further apart before he pressed down on your back until you were at a ninety degree angle over the sink, and he leaned forward, sliding inside of you in one long motion. “Shit, Nat,” he groaned, his fingers tight against your hips. “Feel so fucking good baby girl.”

“God, fuck,” you whined as Jake pulled out and slammed back into you, forcing moans to fall out of your mouth in waves. “Yes, Jake, please, yes!”

He fucked into you hard, as your bare breasts swung against the cool edge of the granite around the lip of the sink, fingers trembling on the counter where you could find purchase. Behind you, Jake ran his hands all over your body until he reached up, gathering your hair into a pony and yanking you to standing so your back was pressed against his chest. “Fuck,” he growled, moving his hands from your hair to your chest, one wrapped around your waist, the other circling your entire breast and squeezing. “Such a good girl taking this cock.” He pressed upward, fucking into you deep and you screamed in pleasure.

“Jake,” you moaned, your fingers reaching around and brushing his thighs as he worked into you, his fingers squeezing tightly over your nipple. Your breath was ragged already. “Harder!”

To your shock, Jake dropped his arms and pulled out from inside of you. You barely had time to pout before he was spinning you around, pulling you into his arms and carrying you to the kitchen table, where he laid you down gently on your back. “Be a good girl for me, sweetheart,” he murmured, sliding his cock along your folds as you writhed in anticipation on the table.

“I’ll be good, daddy,” you begged and Jake groaned, thrusting himself inside your drenched cunt.

“Yeah, honey?” he asked, grabbing your legs and bringing them up until your feet were on his shoulders. Jake leaned forward and kissed a trail across your ankle as he simultaneously rolled his hips, pressing his cock deeper inside of you. “Such a sweet girl.”

“Please, daddy,” you moaned, Jake’s fingers gripping your thighs now, holding you close, forcing his cock impossibly deeper inside of you. “Want to feel you cum inside of me.”

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured, squeezing your thighs. You opened your eyes, watching Jake. His bare chest was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and he had his eyes trained on yours. “Touch yourself for me, baby,” he whispered. “Want to watch your face as you cum all over my cock, sweet girl.”

You reached one hand down and used two fingers to circle your clit, moaning instantly at the feeling of the stimulation in conjunction with Jake’s cock filling you from the inside, pressing against your walls. Jake’s mouth hung open as he watched your fingers speed up, pressing hard circles into your sensitive bud, a string of deep moans exiting your mouth, forcing Jake to press even faster inside of you. “Jake!” you screamed, your free hand reaching out to grip the side of the table. “Shit, Jake, please, please, please let me cum!”

“Cum for me, sweetheart,” he said and with his permission you pressed down harder on your clit, orgasm crashing over your body until you were shuddering beneath Jake as his grip intensified on your ankles, his cock drilling into you as you clenched down around him. “Fuck, Nat! Feel so fucking tight on me. God, baby, you’re so perfect. I love you so much.”

You were sobbing, tears streaming down your face as Jake’s thrusts became sloppy.

“Shit, baby,” he groaned, both hands having migrated down to your hips, tugging you off the end of the table, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the kitchen.

You felt the waves of your orgasms still coursing through you, Jake’s intense thrusts keeping the pleasure alive, and you weren’t sure what came over you as you moaned, “Make me a mommy, Jake. Cum in me.”

Jake’s eyes flew open, locking on yours, as a moan ripped its way out of his throat, and with one final thrust he filled you, fingers finally loosening on your hips as he fell on top of you, panting, sweaty skin sticking to yours.

When Jake finally regained his ability to speak, he righted himself and pulled out slowly.

“What did you say?” he asked cautiously.

You sat up on the edge of the table, covering yourself self consciously. “It was the heat of the moment,” you said quietly.

Jake shook his head, fitting himself between your legs. “So you didn’t mean it?”

You were scared to admit that you had meant it. It wasn’t the right time or the right place to tell him, but you had thought about it. You knew Jake wanted more kids. But you had never spoken to Jake about it, not really. Why did you think mid-orgasm was a good time to bring it up? “I, uh …” you trailed off.

Jake reached up one strong hand, cupping your chin lovingly, wiping away the remnants of your tears. “If you meant it, I’m in,” he whispered. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”

“Really?” you asked. “It’s not too soon?”

“Honey,” he whispered, fingers stroking over your cheek. “I am so desperately in love with you. I can’t think of anything I want more than to have a baby with you. Give Ellie a little brother or sister. Fill this house with laughing, playing kids. Spend the rest of my life rolling my eyes with you over the top of the fridge door and wrapping Christmas gifts from Santa at three in the morning and taking turns driving carpool.”

It was all you wanted. And you were finally ready to let yourself have it.

You slid your legs around Jake’s waist, drawing him in closer and smiling. “Well then, lieutenant. Guess we have our mission orders. Please proceed.”

Jake chuckled as you pressed your lips to his, dropping your hand to his cock, feeling him stiffen again in your palm as you leaned back against the table and guided him inside of you. “Shit,” Jake whispered, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you in tightly, his lips brushing your ear. “How do you fit me so perfectly? Feels like you were made for me, sweetheart. Can’t wait to put a baby inside of you.”

You smiled into his shoulder. “I love you,” you whispered as Jake thrust slowly inside of you. It was the first time you realized the two of you were in this together. You were going to start a family.

He was all yours. Forever.

***

“Happy Birthday to you.”

Ellie grinned as you and Jake carried the funfetti cake over to where she sat at the end of the table.

“Happy Birthday to you.”

The dagger squad stood huddled around Ellie, their eyes lit from the flame of the five candles on the cake as you and Jake set it down gently in front of her.

“Happy Birthday dear Ellie.”

You looked over at Jake. His eyes were trained on Ellie, the smile stretching across his entire face, one of his hands resting on the back of her chair.

“Happy Birthday to you.”

The squad cheered and Ellie’s face lit up. You leaned in close.

“Blow out the candles, honey,” you whispered and she smiled, sucking in a deep breath before blowing hard, catching all five candles, plunging the room into darkness. Someone hit the lights and everyone clapped and Jake leaned over, kissing the top of her head.

“Great job, peanut!” he said. “Alright, let’s dive into this cake.”

You stood up and grabbed the small plates, dividing the cake into slices and handing them out to the team. Bob and Phoenix sat at the far end of the table, laughing at a joke. Coyote and Payback sat next to Bradley, who had his arm wrapped around Cassie’s shoulders. Fanboy was helping to dish out the cake slices while Jake scooped ice cream onto Ellie’s plate as she giggled.

“Thanks for coming back for this,” you murmured to Cassie, taking the seat next to her.

She smiled at you, setting down her spoon. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

Cassie and Bradley had been doing long distance for three months, but you had truly never seen your cousin look happier.

“Besides,” she said, leaning toward you and dropping her voice into a whisper. “We have some news.”

Your eyes widened and you immediately looked down at her bare left hand. She caught your gaze instantly and swatted at your arm playfully.

“Not that,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. Bradley’s fingers instinctively curled tighter on her shoulder, even as he kept his body angled toward Payback as the two were deep in conversation. “But, we agreed that if we’re going to do this we should give it a real shot. So, I’m transferring to the firm’s San Diego office.”

You could barely contain a squeal, throwing your arms around Cassie and she laughed into your hair before pulling back. Behind her, Bradley grinned. “She told you?”

You leaned over and slapped his arm. “How could you keep this from us?”

“Keep what?” Phoenix called from the other side of the table.

“Cassie’s moving here!” You couldn’t keep down your excitement.

“Yay, Aunt Cassie!” Ellie cheered and you smiled. She had taken to calling them Aunt Cassie and Uncle Bradley and you secretly loved it.

Bradley stood up from his seat and made his way over to Ellie, pulling her out of her chair and swinging her into his arms. He tickled underneath her arms as she giggled. “Maybe you can come spend the weekend with us, pumpkin,” he said. “Keep celebrating your birthday all weekend long.”

“Yes!” Ellie shouted and you laughed. Bradley set her down and instead of returning to her chair, she rushed toward the end of the table, tapping Bob on the shoulder. He scooted back in his chair and pulled her onto his lap. She leaned forward and ate a bite of his cake, before turning in his arms and whispering in his ear.

Bob chuckled and kissed the top of her head as she laid back against his chest.

“Swapping secrets, Floyd?” Payback asked.

Ellie whispered in Bob’s ear again and he smiled down at her. She grinned from where she sat with his arms around her middle. “Ellie wanted me to tell you guys what she wished for when she blew out the candles.”

Bob looked at you and Jake.

“A sibling.”

Your jaw dropped open. You looked at Jake who looked equally stunned. Meanwhile, Bradley broke out into a raucous laugh, along with Payback and Fanboy. Even Phoenix had to hide the grin on her face behind her wine glass.

Jake circled the table and crouched down next to Ellie. “That’s really what you want for your birthday, sweetheart?” he asked softly.

She nodded excitedly. “I want a baby brother!”

Jake looked up at you with a knowing grin. “Well, Natalie and I will have to discuss that, sweetie,” he replied. “Won’t we, Nat?”

You gave him a smile and a small nod. “We will.”

For a second, you could almost blur out the team in the background. It was just you and Jake, staring at each other from across the room.

And then Bradley’s groan snapped you out of it. “God, get a room,” he complained and you laughed.

Later, once everyone had gone home and everything was clean, you filled a wine glass and made your way outside to the porch. Jake sat with Ellie on his lap on a rocking chair, the two of them fast asleep. Ellie had her legs straddling Jake’s waist, her head turned to the side on his chest. His fingers lay limp around her sides, falling on his thighs, and there were light snores coming out of his mouth.

You leaned against the railing, taking a sip of wine and gazing at them.

Watching Jake with Ellie made your heart swell. It was funny to think that just over a year ago, you were stopping to chat with a random guy in an aisle at the grocery store. Giving him your number, thinking he would never call.

Now here you were, settling into a life. Thinking about having a baby and expanding your little family from three people into four.

A year ago, you had been terrified to meet Ellie. You thought settling down with a guy like Jake would be a death sentence to your youth. That you’d never be able to live up the ghost of the woman he had lost. What you hadn’t realized was it was never a competition. Lizzie wasn’t your enemy. She had given you the best gift in the world. You owed her everything you had, and then some.

Jake’s snoring stopped, and you watched one of his eyes open gently, taking in his surroundings. He spotted you immediately, a slow and sleepy smile taking over his handsome face.

“Hi,” he mouthed and you smiled back.

Jake’s hands rubbed small circles on Ellie’s back as she roused in his arms. Finally, she sat up, wiping at her little eyes with her fists.

“Come on, peanut,” he murmured. “Time to go to bed.”

She nodded and Jake stood carefully, Ellie sagging in his arms. You followed them upstairs where he helped her brush her teeth and change into pajamas before settling into her pink princess bed. The two of you knelt next to the bed, tucking her in.

“Did you have a good birthday, honey?” you asked softly.

“Yes, mama,” she replied and you looked up at Jake with shock. He looked back at you with equal amounts of surprise.

“Ellie, honey,” you said, leaning forward. “You don’t have to call me that if you don’t want to. You can just call me Nat or Natalie or a nickname.”

She shook her head, blonde curls smashed against the pillowcase. “You’re my mama,” she said, sitting up. Ellie pointed at the small picture frame next to her bed, the photo of her and Lizzie. “That’s mommy,” she said, chubby finger aimed at the framed photo. “You’re mama.”

Tears started to well behind your eyes. You reached out and pressed a kiss to Ellie’s temple as she leaned back against the pillow. “OK, sweetie,” you said softly. “I can be your mama.”

Ellie smiled and fluttered her eyes closed. You and Jake stood in the doorway, shutting it softly, before turning and walking to the master bedroom. Behind closed doors, you turned to Jake.

“I promise, I didn’t ask her to call me that,” you said, afraid he was going to turn on you.

But there was a soft smile stretched across Jake’s face, a few tears glistening in his beautiful green eyes. “Come here,” he said, opening his arms.

You went to him immediately, losing yourself in his embrace, his hands stroking up and down your back, his lips pressed against the shell of your ear. “Mama suits you,” he murmurrred quietly.

You leaned back, wrapping your fingers around his neck. “I love you, Jake.”

His eyes crinkled in the corners. Jake pressed one large hand to your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek lovingly. “Nat, I couldn’t love you more if I tried.”

A/N: We have one more epilogue-style chapter left y'all!

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