#brain no likey hard tasks

[jalo-parker]

Rrrrhrhgrgrgrgrgrggrggagsgrggrgagrggrgagrggrgagaggrgrgatarhrgrgaggaaggagrrhhrrrr <- the sounds of a deranged man (he is thinking about a certain band and how badly it now wants to learn how to play a guitar) (though actually I kinda have always wanted to learn but the interest has been increased)

[neokollection]

Reaction To Their S/O Feeling Ugly While Pregnant

NCT 127 [Minus Win & Haechan]

A/N: Bc this is a genuine fear of mine Long btw, so buckle up.

Taeil:

You leant over the counter of the sink, your swollen stomach pressing uncomfortably to the cool tile- The urge to pee suddenly overcame you and the mascara wand in your hand faltered, brushing your eyelid by accident. You held a breath, before carelessly dropping it into the sink, your hands on the counter as you took a moment to collect yourself. You’d already been agitated after waking up with a sore back, and now you couldn’t even complete the simplest of tasks.

You went to the bathroom, taking your time as Taeil was still asleep.

Facing yourself in the mirror once more made a lump rise in your throat. You hated having to see yourself more than you already had too- You felt ugly and fat, face bloated and eyes wetting. You sat on the toilet lid, holding your face in your hands as small sobs and sniffles escaped you. You tried to stay quiet, not wanting to wake your sleeping husband in the other room-

“Hey...?”

He seemed to be awake already though... Soft footsteps padded across the tile from the ajar door. You ripped a wad of toilet paper from nearby, using it to blot at your eyes and cheeks.

“W-What’s wrong?”

He squatted down in front of you, his hands placed gently upon your knees before he reached on up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Nothing,” you assured, wiping your nose-

You didn’t want him to look at you, you must have looked even uglier crying.

“Baby,” he crooned gently, placing his cheek upon your thigh affectionately momentarily before he drew back.

“You can tell me-”

“I just...” you sighed, “I just feel so ugly.”

His eyes were wide, mused hair would have made his face almost comical if not for the context.

“No- No!” he shushed, “Nothing about you is ugly-”

Even with puffy eyes, smudged mascara, messy hair, and a few pounds extra he saw you as his perfect angel.

“You’re beautiful,” he assured, reaching up to cradle the lump of your stomach as he rose to his feet, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Johnny:

You retched into the toilet bowl- It’d come to the point, you couldn’t even have a simple night in without feeling sick, rushing to the bathroom. A light knock sounded upon the door. Johnny.

“Love?” he called gently, “You okay?”

“Just a minute,” you answered back, catching your breath as you sat against the nearby wall.

Oddly enough you could feel his presence still there and it was comforting, the shadows of his slippers beneath the door reminding you he was waiting for you just outside. You flushed the toilet, which Johnny took as a notion that you were finished, opening the door slowly. You quickly wiped at your mouth with some toilet paper before dropping it into the spiraling water. Johnny wore a slight pout, unhappy to see you in such a sad state, curled up on the floor by the toilet looking sickly.

“All better?”

“For now... I just want to lay down...”

He squatted down next to you, pulling one of your arms away from yourself and placing it around his shoulder before scooping up your legs.

“N-Don’t- I’m heavy...”

You’d put on not only a baby, but a few more extra pounds, feeling swollen and gross.

“You’re not that heavy,” he waved off, standing with you as you held on, “Besides, it’s not you- It’s him.”

Your fiancé wore a mock glare as he stared at the swell of your stomach. He was careful as he placed you down upon the bed, helping you situate yourself with your pillows before he crawled on the end of it.

“He’s such a troublemaker, isn’t he?”

He was already raising your top before you could stop him, eyes feasting upon the glorious bulge of your stomach. Though you may have been self conscious about revealing your new body to him, he never thought twice about it, pressing a hard kiss to the mound with a grunt- His fingertips trailed along your side lightly, tickling you.

“Such a rascal, I’ll have to teach him a lesson when he comes out-”

Before you could even counter, he was blowing a raspberry on the side of your mound, causing you to giggle before he sat back, tucking your shirt back in place.

“I’ll get you some water.”

Though it was burdensome, it was all worth it, seeing how happy the man you loved was.

Taeyong:

You had absolutely nothing to wear. You’d just begun showing- Your leggings and jeans all seemed to suffocate you or not button- You had a lone pair of black sweatpants, but you felt fat when you wore them even before there was a baby involved. You had dresses, but if you dressed up you’d feel the need to also do your makeup or hair- Which you were in no mood to do- All you needed to do was go to the grocery for crying aloud... You suppose... You could send Taeyong, but you felt like a pest- He was busy on the phone talking over some business about releases and you weren’t even far enough along yet to pull that card you felt. Huffing, you sat down on the bed, staring at your closet.

“So, maybe next week then?”

His voice was getting closer. You were in nothing but your undergarments, so decided to go into the closet, not wanting him to see you so blatantly.

“Alright- Thanks- Haha, of course!”

With a loud sigh and a sudden whoosh it sounded as if he’d faceplanted upon the bed, dropping his phone to the side before curling around a pillow.

You caught his eye as you looked over your shoulder from the closet.

“What’s up?” he questioned.

“Hmm, nothing...”

You were still racking your brain for possible solutions...

“I need to go to the store.”

He hummed along in acknowledgement, watching as you thrust hanger to hanger aside. Your huff of irritation not going unnoticed. Sensing your distance and annoyance, he stood from the bed, making his was towards the closet.

“What is it?” he questioned, leaning upon the door frame.

“Nothing, just- Can you-” you tried, wanting him to leave.

His gaze flickered to the pile of clothes of the floor before settling on you, taking in the soft swell of your belly.

“What’s the matter?” he asked again, his tone softer as he draped himself around your, letting the palms of his hands smooth over your stomach.

“Nothing fits...” you admitted, voice nearly cracking, “I have nothing to wear-”

He hummed in thought, turning to place his cheek upon the crown of your head as he assessed his side of the closet.

“How about this?”

He pulled himself away from you, causing you to miss his warmth as he plucked a stripped shirt from a stack, unfolding it to show it’s size. It made you feel worse though... You didn’t need an XXXXL size did you?

“You look cute in my clothes,” he smiled, holding it up to you, “It’s like a dress~”

Pulling it over your head you frowned, the sleeves were too long and the length was quite short.

“It’s kind of short...”

“Hm- You’re right,” he acknowledged, “I can’t have my babies going out looking like this-”

He assessed you with a quirk of his brow and bite of his lip, causing you to nudge his shoulder in turn.

“Tell me what you need and I’ll get it,” he practically sang, rolling your sleeves up.

Yuta:

You hadn’t left the house in days- Hadn’t done your makeup or hair, had simply done the bare minimum of showering and dressing yourself in loungewear. Your spirits were just down in the dumps- You'd been having cravings nearly each day, snacking late at night and munching on sugary sweets. Next to him you felt so ugly- Even fresh out the shower he was glowing, skin flawless, eyes bright, hair a mused mess he liked to rake his hands through- He was gorgeous and it’s a fact everyone knew and agreed with. Next to him you’d always tried your hardest to seem on his level, you never wanted people to think you looked out of place or an odd couple. But now... it felt inevitable. You felt fat and ugly, skin dry, hair matted, eyes with bags... How could he even look at you?

Being the keen and observant man he was your change in demeanor didn’t go unnoticed- How you’d distanced yourself from him, how your answers were curt and sighs long, how you never changed in front of him... He understood why, having confided in his sister a tad about your change and getting all the answers he’d needed. He’d wanted to lighten your mood and surprise you, have a night in with you together, watching a movie and snacking together. He’d already started the washing machine, busy hanging up the load he’d just taken out.

“What’re you doing...?”

You questioned, shifting your weight from one foot to the doorframe.

“What’s it look like?”

“Well, just... You never usually do it...”

“Come on, I’m not that bad-”

Silence ensued before he finished and came to you.

“Am I that bad?”

“No,” you shushed, placing a hand upon his chest gently with a small smile.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he quipped, taking your hand and leading you around the corner to the kitchen.

“I know you’ve been having cravings lately so I stocked up- So, you don’t have to go to the store anytime soon-”

“Great. So I can get fatter?”

It wasn’t really a question and it came out much more spiteful than you intended. He was mid-opening the pantry when he stopped.

“You’re not fat-”

“Look at me,” you whined, feeling the flood gate about the burst.

“You look the same! The only difference is this guy,” he asserted, coming to press his palms to the side of your stomach. “Look at you,” he continued, “If anything, you’ve lost weight- Maybe from the stress or sickness- but-”

He gripped your arm, showing you how he could easily touch his thumb and index finger together around the circumference of your forearm.

“I don’t want you to feel bad or hide from me- I love you- And I’m here for you.”

“I love you too,” you sniffled gently, casting your gaze downward as he pulled you into an embrace, “Did you get Oreos...?”

A/N: It long, but if you likey I can do pt 2 with Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Mark, n Doyoungie

[doberbutts]

Something that I think keeps getting missed is that much of modern dog training labels a dog "smart" when what they should label it as is "biddable" or "easy to teach with current methods" or "not easily discouraged".

I find many sighthounds ARE smart. But they are smart in ways that are useless to the way we keep dogs in our culture, so we regard them as stupid instead because we cannot use their intelligence in the way it manifests. A dog that makes an association quickly and adjusts its behavior accordingly- whether to avoid a thing it didn't like or to continue to get the thing it did like- is a dog that survives very well when out of human hands because it learns "thing bad no likey" instantly and doesn't need multiple lessons. Unfortunately that dog is also way harder to convince "hey thing isn't actually bad" because single-event learning is the bane of modern dog training and you'll see all the modern dog trainer hotshots complaining about the pitfalls of single-event-learning.

Modern dog training often makes use of drilling- whether it says it does or not- which is great for a dog that doesn't become discouraged easily and that genuinely wants to work with you to puzzle through it together. It's no wonder that we consider dogs that do well in this environment "smart" and does that think this environment sucks "stupid". I've talked before how Sushi really doesn't like drilling but she also picks things up incredibly quickly, becoming reliable after just a few positive reps. Not surprising in a breed that had to learn quickly on its feet or risk falling off a mountain. So does that make her smart or stupid? I think it shows her intelligence that she can learn something within just a few tries, even if her performance seriously backslides if I push her past that point.

However I also joke that Sushi is not very smart. Not because she's hard to train, she's ridiculously easy to train. I think she's smart enough to train well but not smart enough to question my word, not smart enough to push boundaries, not smart enough to get herself into trouble on purpose. She's smart enough to learn the rules but not smart enough to ask why those rules are in place.

Many dogs who people don't consider smart (LGDs, sighthounds, independant-hunting hounds, terriers, spitzes) are actually super smart, smarter imo than breeds easier to train. Their brains just don't work in the way that modern dog training wants to work the dog. Why should they puzzle through a hard task with you? They're very okay doing it themselves, by themselves, thank you very much. These are often dogs that learn how to open doors, climb over fences, pry open food containers, knock out screens in windows, and more in pursuit of what they want. Sit for a cookie? Why should they? They can just get it out of the cookie jar themselves.

Tldr a lot of modernized dog training, at least in western and European countries, mistakes "trainable using these methods" as "smart", and because cookie cutter training is all the rage no matter what side you sit on in the Methods Debate, you'll run into problems with that once you get a dog that needs a bit more creativity in the actual application of training instead of focusing purely on the method of which one trains.

But dogs were not domesticated to work with us in such a specialized manner. They were domesticated to exist alongside us, to help when we needed it with things like hunting or guarding, and then mostly to fuck off and do their own thing until we needed them again. Nowadays we ask dogs to wait on our every beck and call and thus both breeding priorities and training methods have undergone several drastic changes in the mean time. And you'll notice breeds and types still expected to fuck off until they're needed again are the ones people label "stupid".

idk i think having now owned two very different breed groups (sighthound v herding), which are constantly getting referred to as the low and high end of the "dog intelligence" listings respectively, and seeing how it seems like modern dog training almost exclusively caters to the latter... it's left me with a lot of Thoughts that i'm not well-versed enough in dog training to formally articulate.

[sadyeriddell74-blog]

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[ounanakos]

1. determine that's actually the problem, sometimes it's obvious--when I think that after I finish the dishes I'll feed the cat but immediately start for the cat food with a soapy plate in my hand, I know that's an executive function issue immediately. But sometimes, especially with task initiation or task switching, which are the things I'm most likey to have to troubleshoot, there can be other causes like sensory issues that can be the actual reason behind my inability to do A Thing. So step one is always make sure I've correctly identified my problem. Usually that involves asking 'under what circumstances could I do the thing?' and if the answer keeps being a sort of mental 'error: file not found' then it's probably executive dysfunction and not sensory or anxiety or something. When it's something else I can usually get a 'I could do it if it were dark out' or 'I could do it if there were no people' or whatever, and whether those conditions are possible or not, I can find a specific hang up. With exec dysfunc there is nothing to change, real or fantastical.

2. I get stuck a lot and usually the key to doing something specific is to first stop being stuck. I ask myself 'what CAN I do that's different from what I'm doing right now?' So if I'm in a chair on my tablet on tumblr and I need to pee but keep scrolling on tumblr even though I'm mentally going 'stop this, go to the bathroom. Stop This, Go to the Bathroom. STOP THIS, GO TO THE BATHROOM!' and nothing is happening, I try something else like 'change position' or 'wiggle toes' or 'put down tablet' --whatever I can change. That can also include stimming, sometimes changing sensory input is a good thing. I just keep changing what I can until I am unstuck. The hardest part is that the sort of mental repetition of what I am trying and failing to do can itself be hard to change sometimes. But the key for most things, for me, is just changing the situation I am in, that gets me out of the mental rut or bog I'm in.

3. if I'm not stuck but still can't start then it's just 'what can I do?' If I need to clean a whole room and am in the middle of it staring around going '???????' then that's the question I ask myself. Usually I can then start the task in some way by identifying a possible thing, even if what I can do isn't immediately related like 'I need to clean this room and what I can do right now is make chocolate milk' because doing a task often puts me back in a task doing mental mode. It's more immediately satisfying if what I can do is pick up a pair of shoes and put them away, something actually toward my Big Task, but again, just doing and completing a real, tangible thing usually helps. Sometimes I have to stand in the middle of the room staring around and asking myself 'what CAN I do?' more than once, because sometimes I do answer myself 'nap' or 'nothing' or something else that doesn't kick start my task-doing mode.

4. Ask for help/talk to another human in real time. I don't mean necessarily ask for help DOING the task but asking someone 'where do I start?' or just explaining to someone else what I need to do. Talking (or typing) out the 'problem' or even sometimes just the act of conversing in general can, like the other things, sort of flip the switch in my brain from '??????' to properly organized. And sometimes I just borrow someone else's exec func in a way by just asking for instructions. But even if you don't have anyone who will talk you through something you can't seem to manage, talking about anything can help. I have had talking to cats help, so it may not always need to be another human.

5. write stuff down. one time, around the Insomnia of Doom episode, I was really struggling to keep track of anything, and so I got a 5x7 picture frame and flipped the picture over for a white surface and got a dry erase maker for a diy handheld whiteboard and put all my very depleted mental effort into never letting go of it or the marker. I had a small list of essential things, like if I had fed myself and the pets and how many times I'd had anything to drink, and I just had the info with me. That was a kind of extreme situation but the idea can adapted. Rather than write down what you need to do or should do, sometimes it's better to write down what you have done. Usually you have to find a way to make it nearly impossible to forget to write the thing you did down, though, and that's the tricky part. Phones and apps may be the solution for some people. For somethings the answer may be bath crayons.

tl;dr: change. change physical position, change sensory input, change mental focus, and/or change situation.

To other autistic people, how do you handle executive dysfunction?