#brain is going in overdrive rn

[fauchart]

Knaaren OC? Knaaren OC.

Gahlen, druid/shaman that takes care of healing other knaarens when they brawl, and especially when they fall ill - that'd be too dishonorable a death for their warrior caste. They grow their own mosses and herbs, though he sometimes goes outside himself to fetch rare plants, or those that don't survive the transplant to the underground.

Despite being a healer, he's absolutely not a pacifist. He can and will and already have been into numerous fights, and he has a fair amount of kills to his name. Of course.

Close to the royal family, he has at times advised them. A fairly traditionalist knaaren, he's nonetheless not entirely adverse to change, but still distrusts outsiders - and isn't overjoyed about the revered title of Champion having been awarded to Rayman.

Why are they blue? Well I always thought knaarens looked inspired by fish, and this mere idea had me running with the concept of a Knaaren inspired by deep sea fish. That's literally it, I just think it's neat. I'll probably come up with a serious canon reason at some point lmfao Also I've put triangle motifs a lil bit everywhere in their design and I've decided it's a knaaren symbol meaning "health" or something. Yipee.

[shima-draws]

Tfw you're sitting at your computer, tablet prepped, pen in hand, READY to draw, except your brain just refuses to actually commit to something so you sit there for 20 minutes wondering which WIP you want to work on, and you want to draw you DO but your brain is like mmm not feeling it right n--oh actually wait I am, okay open a new canvas--ah. Just kidding. Motivation's gone. And you're like. GIRL,

[nepentheisms]

The way my body responds to caffeine can be unpredictable. Today, that late morning coffee was definitely a mistake.

[izzy-b-hands]

Brain won't let me publish any of the finished fics. Too nervous. Which is irritating beyond belief. On the good side of things, I've gotten more started for Izzy bingo along with some other random ideas.

Sure wish my brain would let me put them up on ao3 without immediately sending me into a near panic attack tho

[dbphantom]

you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight

[heartshapedracetrack]

Realised i'm really not patient enough to do puzzles and now i've tried my hands on diamond paintings

[eyesoftxmorrow]

would yall still love me if i started working on a pl fic

[chemmerson]

me after today

[engagedtobefree]

My dental cleaning is tomorrow and I don't know what to expect 🥲 I have no idea what is going on, and I'm not sure if I should be hopeful or just forget about the possibility of anything ever happening. I am trying my best to remain neutral with zero expectations, but my little heart can't help but hope for the best. I still don't know why Chris gave me his number and then proceeded to never talk to me. It makes no sense. My only logical guess that wasn't created from my anxiety is that he has other stuff going on. I've gone back and forth a few times on if I want to ask him why tomorrow if he doesn't just come out and tell me, but if he doesn't say anything, I am thinking that maybe that alone is my answer. I don't need details, I just need to know he wasn't messing with me.

I took off the whole day so that I could get some other things done that I need to take care of, but now I'm wishing I hadn't cuz at least with work I will forcibly be busy, whereas with my own errands and whatnot, I'm more easily distracted and wrapped up in my thoughts.

I guess the silver lining is in about 19 hours or so, I'll hopefully have some sort of resolution. I'm just hoping it's a good one.

[yumenosakiacademy]

child blessed with life, a Chosen One. the angels selected You to live. to go forth and achieve greatness.

child cursed with life, a Burdened One. you never wished for the ones above to select You.

you never wished for this. you never wanted this. you didn't want to be the One. you shouldn't be the One.

you wonder, had things been different- had some1 else had taken your place- would they have done better? where you have failed in every regard, would they have succeeded?

why were You chosen? why couldn't it have been Them?

you will never live up to someone who never existed, their potential infinitely better than the deplorable life you've lived thus far. you will never live up to the hopes that everyone placed upon you, those both of fate and of those mortal.

it shouldn't have been You.

[heerinnie]

Imagine having threesome with heehoon, like they both would tease you, and make you beg for their dicks. Tie you on the bed and fill your ass and cunt at the same time. Or cover your eyes with a blindfold and than fuck you one by one and ask you who is it? And when you tell them the wrong answer, they would go extra rough on you and make your body go numb and I can imagine them cursing alot while fucking you senselessly. Like "yeah, you like that slut. You like being railed by two dicks at the same time" "wrong answer whore, now get your ass up and be ready for the punishment"

RAH 🦅DONT EVEN because I love your brain rn.

Ngl i see Hoon and Hee as two different people in bed. Hoon seems like the kind of individual who would push you to your limits and make you feel inferior, 100% hard mean dom that punishes you even when you happen to laugh at a joke told by a guy other than him or Hee and then asking you if his joke really was funny or if you wanted to add a groupie to your roster. His behaviour could be seen as toxic in some situations but after fucking you dumb know he didn't mean a single word he said. Outside of the bedroom he really is an amazing and compassionate boyfie completely contrasting his wild and animalistic side in bed.

On the other hand, Hee comes across as someone who’s gentle with you, a soft dom if I do say so myself. He’d whisper gentle words of praise in your ear, cooing at you for taking him so well and for all the ways you'd let him have your body and mind. Now this might come out of nowhere but I must spread my heesub agenda. This man is such a switch, he’d be a soft dom in bed but the biggest brat known to man if you take control. And absolute menace because nothing beats the way your irritated brow twitched when he spoke back and he just lived when you took it out on him.

Now all of that mixed in with being in a poly relationship with these two? I don't know about you but I’m sold.

They would take turns using you one by one and revel in it. The hard thrusts of Hoon using you like a fleshlight, bruising your hips with his grip along with Hee whispering sweet nothings and telling you about how much of a good girl you are for taking him while sucking and playing with your tit would send you into overdrive, turning your mind into nothing but mush.

On most occasions things would happen the usual way as expected, the opposite parallels of your two boyfriends domming would never bore you so you couldn't complain much. However, there were some days when Heeseung's behaviour and demeanour would take a complete U-turn, surprising both you and Hoon, wondering where your sweet man went. He would align himself with Hoon's attitude, which was quite different from his usual self and he would adopt an entirely different attitude to how he treats you during sex. Same goes with hoon, there ware days where he sees your struggling and would take hours taking care of you whether it’d be eating you out until you couldn’t remember the issue or making love to you telling you how beautiful you’d look carrying his and seungie’s babies.

Back to sub hee, god when you three fuck but hee subs it’s like something straight out of porn. Moaning and whining as you play with his cock and balls teasing and edging him all whilst sunghoon fucks you in doggy like an animal in heat. Slurring degradation and praise towards you both. I’m convulsing.

I hope what you gathered from this is that their duality would be insane, I'm insane, i need them NOW.

[silentgravesdontexist]

I'm rlly over here just making these random Ace posts that I come up on the fly while my drafts are side-eyeing me so hard rn... Anyways! Here's a fluffy drabble that involves Ace and kisses. No editing just brain rot, type, and post. Here's my masterlist if you liked this~

Portgas D. Ace x GN!Reader

CW: None. Tooth-rotting fluff (i just think Ace and kisses go well together ok?)

Word Count: 885

Ace always adored how sweet and affectionate you were. Not just to him but to your loved ones as well. Ofc, with the exception that you treat him even more affectionately given that he is your boyfriend. The man melts each time you give him that warm smile of yours. He'd look grumpy and brooding at times, but he'd always smile whenever he sees you.

Most of the time, he does his best to be of service to you. It makes him feel like if he does things like that, he'll be more deserving of your love and presence. Basically an acts of service kind of guy. He also loves physical affections you shower him with. But his favorite at the moment when you kiss him after he helps you out with something.

He helped you carry some of the crates? A kiss on the cheek. Helping you out with your duties? A kiss on the tip of his nose. You were on nightwatch, and he accompanied you and even brought your favorite drink/snack? A kiss on the lips.

You trained this man for it like he was Pavlov's dog salivating at the sound of that bell. And Ace didn't even mind. He loved it. Grinning at you with that smile of his so bright it would put the sun to shame. It encouraged him all the while making him feel so appreciated and wanted in your presence.

Now, he's gotten so used to it that he will lean in for you— fully expecting that kiss already. Just like now that he helped you sort out your duties for the day and even taught you a few things in the process. A dopey-smile on his lips as he awaits for his reward.

But it doesn't come.

You said goodnight, yawned, and left to your quarters. It was already late into the night and you were exhausted. The day was a lot tiring for some reason that all you just wanted was to crash down and sleep the fatigue off. Your warm bunk already calling you as you guide through the halls.

He just stood there. Couldn't even say good night. It takes a few moments for it to settle in. You didn't kiss him. You didn't. Now, his mind is in overdrive. Questioning and wondering what, why, or how. Did he upset you somehow? No, you were probably just too tired, right? But you never forget to kiss him. Was he overthinking it or was your tone more flat?

Oh, no, it's replaying in his mind, and he's convinced he did something wrong.

Poor guy couldn't sleep a wink. Did he tease you too much? Was he careless in teaching you? Did he sound impatient? It was that look in face. Definitely. He probably looked like he was frustrated at you, didn't he? Sure, it occured to him you were probably just tired— but what if it wasn't?

Unable to take it, he jumps off his own bunk and rushed towards yours. Immediately, he's knocking on your door. Part of him did feel guilty for disturbing your sleep. The idea that he might have done something to upset you outweighed it.

You're sleepily at the door to face Ace. Hair mussed from sleep and eyes barely open while you rub the sleep away. Oh, how he wanted to cup your cheeks and pepper you with kisses bc you looked adorable— Focus, Portgas. Focus. He starts babbling on apologies about random things that might've upset you (he won't directly say he's worried you didn't kiss him bc he has a reputation to somewhat maintain).

Ofc, you barely understand him. It was what? Past midnight? And you just woke up? Eventually, it does dawn on you that you didn't kiss him earlier as you usually did whenever he helps you out. A soft and sleepy chuckle leaves your lips. Your hands hold his and press kisses on his knuckles.

"I'm not upset." With that, you guide him inside and pull him down to bed with you. "Just tired." You mumble while cupping his cheek and start peppering kisses over his face. Just trailing your soft lips over his freckles. "I'm sorry. It just slipped my mind."

Ace melting like putty in your hands. Arms wrapped around your waist as he pulls you close. He's leaning into your touch like an overgrown pet yearning for more of your affection. His lingering doubts and worries fading away at your affections.

"Does this make up for it?" You ask, pulling away to meet his gaze. A warm yet drowsy smile adorns your lips and he finds himself falling for you all over again. You were so good to him. So good. He'd do anything to keep you in his life.

"It does." Ace responds, leaning closer to capture your lips with his. The kiss is sweet and languid. As if pouring every emotion he couldn't put into words to express just how much you meant to him.

~~~~

Taglist: @captainportgasdace @that-student-that-has-homework (if its ok 'cuz you guys interact with my fics a lot)

[megistusdiary]

omg regarding your hybrid women post; i had the thought of reader being a hybrid too, so both parties also get in heat 🥰🥰

what ifーfox!reader and arctic fox!arle (youre probably tired of writing for arle LMAO) where reader gets in heat and tries to fuck with arle so shes like all teasing and degrading and shit 😅😅

that's what i like to see 😌

tbh i'm winning rn because my friends just told me how much i remind them of a fox today. basically, that means we belong together 😻😻 delusion is the solution

also, we never get tired of arle. i know this ask was from a few days ago, but since drip marketing was released, we are all UP!

fox!transfem arlecchino x fox!fem reader

dom!transfem fox-hybrid arle x sub!fem fox-hybrid reader

warnings: smut (mdni), transfem arle, wlw content, fox hybrids, fingering, penetration, mentions of heat/knotting, breeding kink

you had to admit, your lover's hands were one of your favorite parts of her. yes, her mind was beautiful, and so was her soul. but her hands were gorgeous.

clawed, as yours were, but hers were much more elegant. despite being quite large, her hands were rather dextrous.

her fingers were long and pretty. well-suited to wielding blades, playing the piano, holding a wine glass elegantly.

oh, and for stretching you out, obviously.

the way her fingers press deeper into you has your mind reeling. your brain is fuzzy already from hormones, and her touches send you into overdrive.

she can hear your claws tearing at her bedsheets, hips grinding into her hand. she uses her free hand to dig her claws into your hip, stilling you.

"someone's desperate," she comments softly, causing you to whine at her, unable to form any biting retorts. she tuts, fucking you faster with her fingers, eyes trained on the way you sucked her fingers in so well.

you were beyond drenched, slick dripping down her hand and ruining her expensive silk bedsheets. your ears were pinned back against your head, face pressed down into the bedsheets as you presented yourself to her on all fours.

she was entranced by how your hips and back arched so perfectly for her. oh, how enticing you were. just for her...

you kick your feet into the bedsheets, mumbling little pleas for her to fuck you. she leans down, her lips ghosting over the shell of your ear.

"you want my cock?" she asks, and you deliciously respond with pathetic little mewls. "shouldn't you feel ashamed at how you're behaving?" she sighs.

she nips at your neck, tutting. "look at you, ruining my sheets with how desperate you are. listen to yourself." she presses her fingers in shallowly, letting you hear the sounds of your own slick being pushed in and out.

she can feel the heat radiating off your neck as your ears flick wildly, tail hitting her side as it wiggles. she moves her hand to grip the base of your tail, biting the inside of her cheek when it causes you to cum all over her fingers.

she enjoys the mindless babbles that come along with your orgasms during your heat, how you destroy her sheets. it's all too intoxicating. she inhales the pheromones from the air, groaning as her cock strains against her pants.

the hand on your tail slides to cup over her bulge, her head falling back as you turn around, her fingers slipping out as you lean down, unzipping her pants.

once you remove her pants, her cock bobs up, allowing you to press a kiss to the sticky tip. she grunts, taking the base and smearing it across your lips to see them go glossy. "well aren't you just an eager little whore? i didn't tell you to turn around, did i?"

you quickly adjust yourself, tail swaying behind you excitedly as she grabs it, moving it away from your pussy as her cock swipes up and down your folds.

"you're going to take it all like a good girl, won't you?"

"yes, yes, please!" your voice is pathetic and whiny as she lines her cock up with your hole.

she slides in slowly, letting you feel her stretch you open as you pant into the silk beneath you. her grunts are little melodies of their own, clawed hands gripping your hips tightly as she eases her thick cock in and out of you.

her pace increases to the point where she's practically slamming you against the bed, your scent having triggered her own rut as she fucks like her life depends on it.

"you're going to have my fucking kits. i'll fill you up, doll. you're mine." she snaps, hips bruising yours as your slick coats her base with a creamy ring. her tail swings rapidly, ears flat against her head.

once she feels you cum around her, tightening up, she allows the inflated base of her cock to press into you, using the delirium from your orgasm to stretch you beyond your limits.

you whimper and whine beneath her as she cums inside of you, plugging you up with her knot.

despite the rough treatment, she soothes you quietly, leaning over you and pulling you to lay with her on your sides, kissing your cheek as she shallowly fucks you with the limited movement allowed by her knot.

[themultifanshipper]

oscar piastri needs to be fucked untill he cries and if it were up to him, it'd preferably be by his teammate <3

I daydream about Oscar getting fucked every day...

I'm on my period rn and this ask sent my ovaries into overdrive... thank you anon <3

I just think he'd look so angelic with tears running down his face while somebody (mostly Lando) pounds into him from below.

Oscar riding a dick is genuinely one of the hottest things I can imagine and my brain is melting just thinking about it.

But as athletic as he is his thighs would start to burn eventually and he'd lie down and just take it.

Oscar getting overstimulated while getting pounded into the mattress and even after coming once, the assault on his prostate never stops and he's milked for all he's worth, eventually coming dry.

Oscar crying because it's too much but he won't let go, clinging on for dear life as he goes limp and just takes and takes and takes like a good boy.

Oscar being needy and asking to be bent over the nearest surface to be used and treated like a slut because that's what he needs some days. Other days he'll try to be bratty and resist but the result is the same: he ends up on his knees begging, crying to be filled up.

Oscar's at his most beautiful in this state, jaw hanging open, tongue rolled out of his mouth, drool running down his chin and tears running down his cheeks.

Cock drunk Oscar, what a sight to behold. Eyes rolling back into his skull, back arched, as he sucks on a couple of fingers shoved in his mouth to quiet his moans. He's 100% a babbler. Nonsense spilling out of his mouth the longer he's kept on edge.

Oscar being the noisiest bottom on earth. The Mclaren employees have definitely heard what he sounds like when he whines, loud and clear behind closed doors (the walls are thin at the MTC) and he doesn't care, doesn't even realise how loud he is.

How could he when he's being fucked so good he can't even think straight?

[heyitslapis]

Hi it's been 10 hours & I still cannot stop thinking about her.

I can't stop thinking about this person

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER TWO (JEDDAH)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6k

warnings: hmmm nothing except heartbreak in several scenes lol

author's note: guys im really sorry but im pretty mean to paul here..... like it got to the point where i rewatched jeddah videos of him and physically felt ill because i was mad at him LMAO 😭 but we'll get through this together!! this was supposed to include some other scenes but it was long enough as it was sooo 😶 summary for this chapter ig is yn feels very torn between her boys, and so do i. hope everyone has a good week (it's finally race week again aaaaa) !! 💗

also i think the next chapter might be shorter because i just wanna get it out already and i don't have a lot to write about in it hehe, fingers crossed that i can finish it soon<3

(alsoooo i proofread this a few days ago but i just cant find the energy or time to do it rn, praying that there are no big issues…. if there are, i would be so thankful if you could send me an ask or message etc 🙏)

series masterlist

"i still can't believe i missed out on the top ten again. and by just three hundredths, even..."

pepe shakes his head as you both make your way out of the campos truck, dragging a frustrated hand through his hair before pulling on his red bull cap. you can't help but chuckle – he's been like this all day, and all evening yesterday. you understand it, though; finishing just outside the reverse grid pole once again must feel frustrating.

not that you can relate. with a much better qualifying session yesterday in your second-ever qualifying in formula 2, you managed to snatch an eight-place finish. in other words, you will be starting third in today's sprint race, and just the thought of the probability of getting some big points sends tingles through your entire body.

"you'll get it next time," you say with a pat on your friend's back. "i mean, look at ollie. from p-nowhere last week to pole yesterday. that can be you next time around."

you've just come out of your morning meeting – morning meaning starting at ten and ending around noon – and now you're finally getting some lunch in the red bull hospitality. even during a race weekend like this, with mostly evening and night sessions, you still managed to oversleep and almost didn't make it in time for your meeting. you didn't get to have any breakfast, you had to run all the way from the shuttle to the truck, and you even forgot one of your racing boots as well as your phone in your hotel room. thankfully, you'll still have time to go back to the hotel before the sprint race, but walking around without your phone feels like being naked.

"speaking of ollie," pepe starts as you turn left and head into the formula one paddock. "are things between you two... alright?"

your eyebrows furrow together at the pause in the middle of his sentence. "why wouldn't they be?"

"well, i..." he stops again, and it makes you want to shake him. "i heard something. but it doesn't matter."

"who are you to decide that it doesn't matter?" you scoff. "tell me."

pepe sighs – he knows fighting you over this is a losing battle. you're way too stubborn to let go of this. "i heard that you were having issues. that you aren't happy, or something along those lines..."

you stop in your tracks, brain working in overdrive to comprehend what your friend is telling you. not happy with ollie? why would you not be happy with him? "who told you this?"

pepe stops in front of you. "i heard it from kimi, who heard it from... paul."

"what?" your eyes squeeze shut as your hands interlace on top of your head. "why would kimi come to you? instead of asking ollie himself?"

"you know kimi," pepe starts instantly. "he's young and gullible. i think he wanted to go for the see-if-the-best-friend-knows-anything strategy instead of asking ollie straight out." his hands squeeze your shoulders softly and you look up at him, a hint of a pout on your lips. "i guess he was scared that ollie would get mad at him or something."

"it's just-" you sigh. "it doesn't make any sense, does it?" pepe is just about to say something more when you cut him off with a dismissive swat of your hand in the air, stepping away from him and continuing your walk down the paddock. "let's just forget about it. i need lunch."

pepe stands frozen for a few moments before hurrying up to you again. he can't quite read your mood – you look unbothered, but he can't help but notice the slight touch of redness of your ears and the way your eyes seemingly can't focus on one thing for long enough. there's no way you can be over it already.

with pepe shutting up for a little while for the first time ever, you're left all alone with your thoughts as you continue your stroll. you know you should've asked for more information; you should've asked for details, for exactly what kimi said and how he worded it. you probably should also ask kimi himself for what paul told him. but right now, it's like a shadow is clouding your vision.

how dare paul say something like that? he must've known that the rumors he made up would spread like wildfire, as they always do in the formula paddocks. the snowball effect can make something tiny become huge, which is why you're always cautious about rumors. but apparently, paul doesn't care about that.

you're far too enraged to think even straight, and that's why it takes pepe pulling your arm to make you stop walking. you frown – to be fair, your frown hasn't left since it appeared a few minutes ago – but when you realize what it is that he's pointing at, both your frown and your jaw drop.

there's a swarm of journalists and fans following a ferrari driver down the road in front of you, which isn't all that uncommon. both charles and carlos are always incredibly popular. but what blows your mind is the fact that when you finally catch a glimpse of the driver's face, it's neither of the team's main drivers.

it's ollie.

"ollie! mate!" pepe yells, his arm waving erratically over his head. it takes a moment for the brit to find the owner of the voice, but he's tall enough to look over everyone else, and he's soon making his way over to you both. "i know you're popular, but this all seems a little excessive, don't you think?"

"i don't know what happened, as soon as the news came out..." ollie lets out a chuckle before turning to you, eyebrows raised at your expression. "i've called you like a hundred times, what have you been up to?"

"i left my phone at the hotel-" you begin but cut yourself off and shake your head. "wait, what news?"

when ollie starts speaking, time slows down. the entire world around you goes dark, the only thing you can hear being ollie's explanation of how carlos needs surgery and the call he got as he was having lunch. you feel lightheaded, almost like you could faint, when he speaks his final words. "...and they said i will be the one to replace him. i'm driving the formula one grand prix tomorrow."

you don't waste any time before throwing yourself into his arms, a loud squeal passing through your lips. "are you kidding me?" you exclaim, hugging him even tighter. "this is incredible, ollie! oh my god, i..."

"i can't really believe it myself, to be honest," ollie says, shaking his head as you part from the hug. pepe slaps his shoulder, congratulating his friend. "i would love to stay and chat, but i need to be in the car for the last practice, and i have a lot to get done-"

"go! go!" you usher, softly shoving him away back towards the journalists and fans who are still waiting just a few meters away. "we will talk later, okay?"

"of course."

and then you watch him leave – your boyfriend, the soon-to-be formula one driver – with a much lighter heart. this definitely helps you forget about all of the things regarding paul.

at least for a little while.

but of course, pepe stops your train of thought. "does that mean i get the reverse grid pole?"

you've never ever been to the ferrari garage before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-practice duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the garage instead of right outside the doors.

a fool dressed in a red bull race suit, even. great.

you were in the middle of preparations for your sprint race when ollie texted you, and since you still had some time before the race started, you made it over to the other side of the paddock as quickly as you could. but unfortunately, that meant that you didn't have time to change your outfit into something more discreet.

"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.

"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"

"he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."

you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.

"sweetheart? can i come in?"

ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.

"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"

when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?

you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.

not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight of him.

"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.

"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."

it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."

ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.

"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"

"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."

you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."

a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.

he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "i really need to go, because the sprint starts in..." you shoot a quick glance to the clock on the wall. "forty-five minutes. my team is going to kill me. but go out there and show them, baby."

and that's exactly what he did.

though, that's not the only thing you were correct about; your team was indeed furious when you finally made it back to the campos garage. your main engineer, who was supposed to help you get strapped in and fix all of the last details with the car over fifteen minutes ago, was apparently so angry he left you to do everything yourself. it's not that you didn't know about your schedule; you just needed to be there for ollie before his big debut.

everything works out in the end, at least according to you, and you're soon settled in your car on the grid, waiting to go on your formation lap. however, you've barely gotten as much as a glance from anyone on your team. you can't help but press the button to activate your radio. "i'm really sorry, guys. i just... had to do something."

"hope it was worth it." the voice of one of your engineers booms through your earpieces instantly, the sternness in his tone sending a shiver down your spine. "we got a huge fine because you were so late to get into the car, so..."

another of your engineers speaks up. "let's focus on the race instead now. no need to fight."

maybe it was because you got to visit ollie right before the race, or maybe it was just starting third and having a good car. either way, the sprint race was one of your best races in a long time. not only did you pass richard verschoor starting one place ahead of you into turn one; you also overtook paul, who started from pole, before the end of the first lap and got to lead your first laps in formula two ever.

dennis came around to steal the lead from you, but just landing yourself a spot on the podium was enough for you to celebrate. when you scored a second-place finish where the guy in first place was one of your former academy members, it didn't really matter that the guy on the third step of the podium was your ex-boyfriend.

going through all media duties is always exhausting, but it's usually never as dreadful as it is today. sitting in that press conference, knowing that your boyfriend is starting his first ever formula one qualifying in just a few moments. you have to literally bite your tongue not to pull a valtteri bottas and ask the journalists how q1 is going.

when you're this busy, you don't really have any time to think about paul's rumors. though, something about it continues to loom in the back of your mind all evening. especially when he speaks in the press conference, despite how hard you try to not even look at him, and especially when he's asked about ollie.

as the press conference finally comes to an end, you're not the only one who wants to hurry out of there to watch the rest of the qualifying session. you and the rest of the podium trio find a big screen that's showcasing the session, and you all insist that you should stay and watch, despite the f2 staff members' continuous attempts to squeeze the last drops of content from you.

they keep stuffing their phones and cameras in your face, throwing all kinds of questions about ollie your way, but you refuse to budge. you won't let them ruin this moment for you.

you're sure they've gotten quite a lot of embarrassing pictures of you teary-eyed while admiring your boyfriend's results, though.

you follow the timing board like a hawk, but something breaks you out of your trance. "who are you watching?" your head snaps to the direction of the voice – the f2 instagram admin with her phone pointed to paul.

as if you all haven't been watching and chatting about ollie for the last ten minutes.

you try not to, you really do, but you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of paul. he's trying to look all innocent, hugging his trophy to his chest as his big, blue eyes blink up at the screen in the distance. a year ago, you would've just thought he was adorable – but today, this frustrates you more than anything. "i'm watching my dear friend ollie," he starts, eyes finding the camera so easily.

dear friend, huh? a dear friend is someone you spread rumors about?

the next time he speaks up, you have to physically bite your tongue to not yell at him. "the guy who gave me one position on tomorrow's grid."

you turn your head away in pure disgust. how could he say something like that? is that the only thing he cares about, places in his starting grid for tomorrow's feature race? is he serious?

you want to escape, to just storm off and never speak to him again. but instead, you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus back on the thing you're here for. ollie is doing so well; when q2 ends and he has driven his last lap, he misses out on q3 by just over a hundredth of a second. he almost even manages to knock out the legendary lewis hamilton, his fellow countryman whom he's been following for as long as he can remember, in his first-ever qualifying session.

you've never been prouder.

"honestly, as long as i can just bring the car home without wrecking it completely, i'm satisfied."

you give ollie's hand a soft squeeze at his words, fingers intertwining as your hands rest on top of the hotel cafeteria table. your other hand lifts your sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite, chewing it down quickly before giving him a nod.

you know his statement is meant as a joke, but you know it's just as much of a truth as a lie. driving an actual ferrari f1 car is his biggest dream, and even just making an alright race probably is enough to make him happy. there's no pressure on him, no one is expecting him to perform a miracle or even score some points.

but at the same time, you know he would never be satisfied with himself if he "just" brought it home safely. ollie isn't like that; he's way too stubborn, too determined, too much of a sore loser. it's what makes him. no matter what he says, there's always going to be something inside of him telling him that he needs to do better.

"i think you'll score your first points today," you tell him with a shrug. "i can feel it."

"don't say that, we don't know anything yet."

a shake of your head in combination with that smile of yours is enough to make some hope spark in him. "well, you have the car for it," you start. "and you have the skills."

ollie stays silent, letting the distant chatter of the other hotel guests having their breakfast fill the air. the cafeteria is emptying out by now, but new faces have been dropping in for a long time now, most of them walking by to give ollie a pat on his shoulder or a quick "good luck, mate".

you put down the last of your sandwich, leaving it behind with the fruit rinds and other scraps on your plate. "but don't think too much," you hum, eyes softening as they land on his. he's trying to contain his worries and anxiety as much as he can, but the slight tilt of his eyebrows and the way his gaze tends to dart away every once in a while tells a different story. "it's just driving. it's just what you always do, no problem."

you hold your glass of orange juice up to him and he gets the hint, clinging his own glass to yours before downing the last of its contents.

you're just about to speak up again with new words of affection, but an icy feeling spreads through your body at the sight of paul entering the cafeteria. the feeling soon turns into real nausea, and you can't even remember what you were supposed to say when you realize that he's making his way towards the two of you.

you want nothing more than to stay and keep encouraging ollie, but you can't take it at this moment. you stand up from your seat, giving ollie's fingers one last squeeze. "i forgot that i have a meeting soon," you make up. "so i need to go. i'll come see you before the race, okay?"

he doesn't even get to say bye before you've stormed off.

unfortunately, you have to pass paul in order to make it to the exit, but you make no effort to even recognize that he exists. you keep your gaze straight ahead.

karl, paul's physio, does a quick greeting from you though – as well as a confused look at the candle pressed into a pastry in one of the hotel's yogurt bowls – but then, you're off to hide in your hotel room until you're needed at the track for race preparations.

of course paul had to come by and ruin everything yet again.

with a good race from yesterday in the bag, you thought you could keep the momentum into today. however, that didn't turn out to be the case.

when a trident driver hit you from behind in the first lap, you lost a few positions instantly and after that, it was a bit too tough to recover. you had opportunities for overtakes, and the car was good enough to go through with them, but you never could. you kept slipping up, making rookie mistakes, and falling back even further. it even got to the point where your team came on the radio to remind you to focus on the road.

but no matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work. the entire race, something else clouded your mind.

or, more specifically, someone.

every time you even caught a glimpse of paul's silver car, it was like something in your mind short-circuited. the memory of your conversation with pepe, the thought about paul running around and spreading rumors about you in the paddock… you couldn't push the thoughts, or the anger, away.

other times, back in the day, you were always good at turning your anger into something positive for your races. if you were upset with your father for something he said about red bull or the junior program, you went out there and proved him wrong. if you heard that another driver had complained about how you just got your seat because you were a girl, you made sure to dominate the race.

your stubbornness was always your biggest strength. but today, it was like your tank had run out. as much as you wanted to completely crush paul, you didn't have the capability.

at least paul didn't have that good of a race, either.

the second you get out of your car, you storm off towards your garage. you know you'll probably get a lot of shit for your performance your entire debrief, but if you can at least get over with it sooner, then you can forget about it and refocus on the next race weekend. plus, you really want to catch ollie before he's away for his f1 debut.

thankfully, you're not the only one getting criticized during the debrief; the team is not very happy with pepe's start, nor his DNF. after they've gone on and on about how costly this weekend has been for the team for an hour, you're finally released, but not without one last reminder to "think about what you're doing here and whose time you're wasting".

it's natural to lose all energy and confidence after a race like this. but the second you're back in ollie's arms, it's like the world around you just disappears. he's always been the best at keeping you grounded.

you've probably never hugged him this tightly before, but you can't help it. the second your arms wrap around his neck, you pour everything you have into the embrace.

he looks so good, so handsome and professional dressed up in his ferrari race suit. not just his prema suit with the ferrari logo on it, but an actual ferrari outfit. he looks like a real f1 driver – and the realization that he indeed is a formula one driver now brings tears to your eyes.

"hey," he says around a chuckle. "don't cry on me, woman."

"i won't..." you reach up to wipe away a drop from the corner of your eye as you pull away slightly from his embrace, shaking your head. "i won't. i'm just so proud of you."

"why are you so sappy?" the scene in front of him brings a huge grin to ollie's lips – he finds you equal parts adorable and hilarious. "i'm just going out there to drive a car. no biggie."

"no biggie," you repeat with a scoff, dabbing your other eye quickly before doing your best to blink down your other tears. earlier today, you were the one saying all of this was no problem. and yet, now he is the one who has to convince you of it. "right. it's just your passion, the thing you love. but i'm still proud."

an engineer catches ollie's attention above your head, sending him a certain look that has your boyfriend nodding before giving you one last squeeze. "i think i should-"

"of course, go," you usher him, retracting from his arms. "i'll be here after, no matter what happens." he nods, and he's about to leave when you speak up one last time. "have fun, okay?"

"always."

who would've imagined that ollie would not only score points in his first ever f1 race, but also win driver of the day, have the most overtakes, and score a seventh place as the second best british driver of the race?

well, you had imagined everything from him coming last to winning the race by horse lengths. and yet, this was all so unexpected. if someone had told you on wednesday that ollie would score six f1 points three days later, you would've laughed in their face. but now, it feels like it's been a long time coming.

you weren't allowed to stay in the ferrari garage for the actual race – it would've been a pr nightmare for everyone involved – so your nerves were all over the place since you weren't able to hear ollie's radio messages, info about the strategies, and so on. at least you get to wait right outside the garage with jamie, chris and his dad david, being the first to congratulate him after such a good debut race.

he looks completely worn out when he finally walks out through the door, but you can almost feel the pride and happiness radiating from him. his sweaty hair rests messily on top of his head, and an ice vest is draped over his body already to cool him down from the insane heat. and, most importantly, the smile on his lips is bigger than it's been all week.

ollie looks like he doesn't ever want to let go of his dad's hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of david's neck for a long time. you can only guess what things the father is whispering in his son's ear, but when the result is ollie pulling him even closer, your heart expands in your chest.

when they part, it's jamie's and chris's times to congratulate the point-scorer, and when he pulls away from his manager's arms, his eyes land on you. you're pulled into his embrace in just a second, a giggle slipping past your lips when he lifts you up into the air and spins you both around. his strong grip around you never eases, not when he sets you down on your feet again and not when he starts speaking.

"i knew it would be hard, but..." he shakes his head, a sweaty fringe brushing against the side of your head. "my entire body is ruined. like, it doesn't hurt because i have so much adrenaline, but i'm going to be in so much pain later. my neck and my shoulders and-"

another one of your waves of laughter cut off his ramblings, and he joins in once he realizes what he's been doing. when you finally pull apart slightly and your hands come up to cup his cheeks, you're just staring into his eyes for what feels like forever.

your boy, the f1 driver.

"this is from your mum," you whisper to him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "and this is from your sister." a kiss to his other cheek. "and... this is from me."

ollie has to crouch down slightly because even when you get onto your tippy toes, you can't reach all the way up to his forehead. but once you press your lips against his skin, all of the hidden tension in his eyebrows disappears. he's like putty under your touch.

"i'm so proud."

ollie's groans are muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, head twitching when your thumbs press into some tense areas of his neck. you shush him jokingly, like a mother comforting a crying baby, but your movements never halt.

ever since he got out of that car, he's been complaining about how sore he is. especially his neck and shoulders, and all of the muscles that were most affected by the g forces. you don't blame him, however – he's got a free pass for pretty much everything for the next week, you think – but you decided to be a nice girlfriend and help him out. the strings of whines and swearwords he keeps letting out don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, though.

the lotion on your hands is enough for you to be able to glide your fingers across his upper back, along his shoulder blades, all over his freckled skin. as you're straddling his lower back, you can reach pretty much all angles of his upper body, and the knots in his muscles seem to be disappearing despite how painful your massage seems to be.

eventually, ollie tilts his head to the side, his blushed cheeks decorated with lines from the pillow underneath him. his slight pout is on full display and his tired eyes flutter closed as he speaks. "hey, y/n?"

"yes, ollie?" you reply, your thumb pressing into one especially stubborn knot in his right shoulder. ollie stays quiet for a few moments and takes a deep breath, almost as if he's gathering courage for something.

"you know that i love you right?"

the world around you stops.

everything freezes.

he loves me?

your breath hitches in your throat at the words. it's the first time he's ever said them, and though it's not the most uncommon thing for someone to tell their girlfriend of over six months, they make your head spin.

a mishmash of thoughts clouds your mind. they won't shut up for even a second. but the loudest thought is the only one you shouldn't have; it's about the only person you can't be thinking about right now.

the way that your mind instantly wanders off to paul is frankly embarrassing, but you can't help it. he's the first boy you've ever loved, the first person you've ever uttered those three words to. the only one. and no matter how badly you wish you could just forget about that and move on, he's still a part of you. he's your only real experience of love.

and this just isn't the same.

you want to say it back to ollie, you truly do. but at the same time, you don't want to say it if it isn't true – it's not fair to him.

ollie senses that something is up. your signs aren't exactly subtle, anyway; your movements have stopped completely and he can't even hear you breathing anymore. "hey, i'm sorry-"

"don't apologize," you interject instantly, shaking your head as you start to climb off his body. "you did nothing wrong. i'm the one who's sorry."

"stop that, you shouldn't be." he turns around, staring up at you with those big, brown eyes of his. "i don't expect you to say it back if you don't want to. i just..." he lets out a low sigh. "i wanted you to know, i guess."

you sit still for a few moments, before leaning down to place a kiss on his rosy cheek. "thank you." another pause. "it means a lot, you know?"

"well, you mean a lot to me."

and he does to you, too.

but is that enough?

ollie loves me.

he actually loves me.

he told me today after the race, and... i didn't say anything. i just sat there like a complete moron.

i couldn't say it back. i just don't feel what i felt for paul yet.

what's wrong with me?

why don't i race like i used to? why can't i control my emotions? was the sprint race yesterday just luck? did i really deserve that podium?

why does paul still affect me this much? why is he always there in my thoughts – when i'm racing, when i'm with ollie, when i try to sleep...

i have a perfect boyfriend and a great car, so why do i feel like everything is falling apart?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername p2 in the sprint 🥈 big thanks to the team for the hard work!! and i got to witness the rb p1-2 up close, congrats redbullracing 💙 also check slide 4 for an appearance from me and my former family on f1tv <3

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user y/n and the prema staff during the driver's parade 😭 they're so cute

→ user her referring to them as her family, byeeee

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user why is no one talking about the last slide???

→ user because i can't talk while i'm crying, sorry

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user great job this weekend y/n !!! thank you for signing my cap 🥺

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user loved to see her celebrate the red bull double podium even after a hard feature race ❤️

→ user she had to balance out the post with that max and checo pic 😭 would've been just ollie & prema otherwise

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user ollie looks like a baby in the second pic 🥲

→ user just a little boy playing with his toy cars

→ yourusername i had to hold his little teddy bear during the race to make sure it wouldn't get dirty

→ user stopppp you're so real for sharing that