#brain bad pls let me put it in rice or something.

[astramachina]

trying to bribe myself into doing something i have to do or else face horrific consequence and it not working is like. okay. what do you want me to do then??? bro you feel like you're dying now, just wait another week and see how we're doing.

[hiccupscloud-26]

Oh my gosh FINALLY! I finished it! Took a little longer than expected and lost inspiration for a bit, but it's done!

So this story was inspired by a prompt I saw on here, but I forgot who wrote it and just scrolled through all my likes for like 30 minutes trying to find it to come up with nothing😭 it was something along the lines of someone eating spicy food even though they hate it and they actually hide the pain well and are proud of themselves for hiding it, until the hiccups start. I thought this would fit Calliope and Indyko, so voila.

Idk if I like how this ends, but I'm so ready to move on to the next idea I have and I've just been staring at this for too long so I'm posting it.

(Green-haired cyclops is Indyko, I just haven't updated the picture yet, my bad)

CW:

-painful hiccups

-hiccup burps

-mentions of nausea (but no throwing up)

-loud hiccups

-let me know if I need to add more pls

And now, without further ado, I give to you:

Spicy Curry

Calliope was lounging on her couch on her phone, her legs spread out on Indyko's lap. Mentioned cyclops was reading some romance novel that seemed more like a porn, but they didn't mind it. They would forever be grateful for the situation they were in. A beautiful apartment, a beautiful girlfriend, a wonderful life indeed. If you were to ask them a few months ago if they'd expected to be here today, they'd probably shake their head and laugh it off to keep from crying.

“You ok, Indy?” Calliope asked softly, “you've been glaring a hole through that page for a while.”

Indyko blushed and moved the book down so they could see their love's beautiful face. They smiled and nodded, “yes, I'm just���feeling grateful, that's all.”

Calliope couldn't help but smile back at them. She reached for their hand and they gladly accepted it, “I'm grateful to have met you too.”

“Callieee,” Indy giggled quietly and squeezed her hand softly, looking at her as if she was their whole world.

“Indyyy~” Calliope rubbed their knuckles.

Indy smiled and brought her hand to their lips and kissed it gently. “I'm so glad you found me.”

“And I'm so glad you stayed,” the redhead smiled before slowly sitting up. “It's getting late, I better start dinner. Any requests?”

“No, anything you make is bound to be absolutely delicious,” Indyko smiled at her, releasing their hands slowly.

“Awww, such a sweetheart~” Calliope chuckled and kissed their cheek.

The cyclops giggled and planted a kiss on Calliope's cheek before she'd stood up and headed off to the kitchen.

It wasn't long before Calliope had finished cooking the meal and setting the table for two. Indyko's stomach grumbled when they smelled the different spices and chicken.

“Smells so good, Callie,” they complimented, sitting down on a dining chair, sitting in front of some sort of chicken dish with rice. “What is it?”

“It's a dish called chicken curry,” Calliope told them as she sat in the chair across from them. “I was craving something a little spicier this evening.”

Indyko blinked and froze in their spot as Calliope mixed around the rice and chicken in her bowl. “S-spicy?”

The black woman pierced her fork through one of the chicken bits and looked up at Indyko and nodded, “yeah, it's spicy. Oh shoot, is that ok? I should've asked if you liked spicy food.”

“No no, I'll be okay, I love spicy food,” Indyko reassured her, even though they knew spicy food wasn't for them.

Their first experience with spicy food had been undeniably unpleasant. They'd found some spicy noodles in the dumpster a few years back and the memories of them puking their guts out as their tongue burned remained engraved in their brain.

However, they knew Calliope had put her soul into her cooking, she always did. They didn't want to waste their food, especially knowing that there were people out there who didn't have food at all. So they decided to just suck it up. How hard could it be?

They picked up their fork and pierced through the saucy chicken bit, taking a deep breath before putting the food in their mouth. Instantly, the different flavors and spices flooded their senses. Indy smiled, “it's really good.” They were pleased to know they actually meant it.

Calliope smiled, “aww, thanks, Indy. It's not too spicy?”

“Spicy? No, I don't even taste the spiciness,” Indyko swallowed the chicken, feeling the flame burn down their throat. They almost winced, but they held it in. They couldn't show Calliope that they couldn't handle it. They'd dealt with rotten, spoiling food before.

They would get through this.

Calliope nodded, “hmm, maybe I should add more cayenne pepper next time then.”

Indyko remained silent as they gulped down another forkful of curry. Maybe if they ate it quickly, it wouldn't affect them as much. Only pausing to sip on their water, they took in two more forkfuls back to back. Their mouth felt like it was on fire, but still they were keeping it under control.

They had to admit, they were proud of themselves for being able to fight through the heat. They were doing well.

*HULP!*

Indyko's eyes widened and they covered their mouth, eyes instantly locking with Calliope's, seeing her mouth open, her fork frozen in place.

“A-are you okay?” Calliope placed her fork back on her plate.

Indyko jolted in their seat with another *HIUP!*. Their eyes started to water and snot poured from their nose.

“I got *HUP!* the hic-*CUP*s,” Indy announced before they attempted to hold their breath.

They quickly released the air, their mouth way too hot to hold it in. Their whole body jolted with their powerful hiccups overtaking them. Calliope shuddered slightly, hoping Indy hadn't noticed her strange behavior.

See, she hadn't told them about her…appreciation for hiccups, feeling embarrassed about it all. Plus, neither of them had any cases since Indy had moved in.

“My mouth *HOLP!* is on fire *H'GUP!*” Indy whined.

Concern instantly filled Calliope's face and she rushed over to her partner, all thoughts of her excitement gone at the sight of Indyko in pain.

“Indy, I thought you said you loved spicy food,” Calliope pushed their hair out of their face, her hand being thrown back against the force of their next *HU-UP!* “Hold on, let me get you some milk.”

She hurried to the kitchen, quickly pouring a cup of milk into a glass, not caring about the mess she was making. After grabbing some extra napkins, she rushed back to her partner and handed them the glass. “Drink this, it'll help with the heat.”

Indy nodded and gulped down the milk in one go. They panted, casually interrupted by their loud hiccups. Calliope noted they weren't too fast, thank goodness, but the way they moved them with such force that their whole body-

No, not the time, Calliope mentally scolded herself. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on their shoulders, “is that a little better?”

Indy looked up at Calliope with teary eyes. Their face was a red blotchy mess, but they still smiled and nodded, “yeah, a little *HULP!*-” they blushed impossibly redder, “excuse me *HUUUUP!*-ooh, these are bad. I'm sorry *HUCK-UCK!*-ah, shoot. It burns.”

Calliope frowned and hugged them close, “don't be sorry, Indy…I shouldn't have made something spicy without asking. So I'm sorry, and now I know for next time. Now…how can I help?”

“It's really ok, you *HILP!*-ah, didn't know, and um…can I *HULP!* get some more milk? Oooh, or *GUPrrrp!* ugh, please excuse me. Erm, does ice cream *HICK!* help?”

“Yeah, any lactose helps honestly,” she gently squeezed their shoulders before heading back to the kitchen.

After retrieving the carton of vanilla ice cream and a spoon, Calliope returned to Indyko, but they looked a little green in the face. She hurried over them, “Indy? What's wrong?”

They held up one finger and she noticed them trying desperately to hold their breath again. Their body betrayed them every few seconds with strong, muffled hiccups that jerked them in their seat. Calliope set the ice cream and spoon on the table before rubbing their back comfortingly. She glanced at their bouncing stomach, hidden only by a thin tee shirt. She wanted to rub her partner's pains away, but didn't want to break any boundaries.

Suddenly, she gasped, feeling Indyko gently grab her hand and place it on their stomach. She looked at them, seeing them nod their head as they still held their breath. Calliope didn't hesitate as she gently massaged their upset tummy.

Her hand was quickly thrown off by a powerful hiccup as Indy released their breath. “I'm sorry, I *HILP!* I can't seem to shake these things *HICK'M!* excuse me.”

“Don't worry about them, unless…are they hurting you?” Calliope worried as she started massaging their stomach again.

“I wouldn't say they *HUCK! HEEEKrrrp!* oh gosh, please pardon me,” Indyko covered their face, blushing profusely. “They don't hurt, per se, but *HERK!* they're just uncomfortable because of the heat, but it's slowly dissi-*HIP!*-pating.”

“Do you feel like you're…gonna throw up?” Calliope continued the gentle massage.

“Not anymore, it pa-*HACK!*-passed,” Indy rubbed their sternum and exhaled softly, being interrupted by another loud spasm.

Calliope nodded, “those are so s-strong.” She continued rubbing their belly, feeling every jolt. “D-do you wanna take this to the couch? It might be more comfortable for you.”

Indy wordlessly nodded as they stood up and grabbed their ice cream and spoon before heading to the couch. Calliope smiled and followed them to the living room, watching as they sat down, opened the ice cream, and dug in. She giggled and sat next to them.

The cyclops looked at her confused, “what? *HICuuurrrp!*-ugh, excuse me.” They covered their mouth with a fist.

Calliope giggled again as she sat next to them. “Nothing, I just…love you, is all.”

Indyko froze as they gasped and flushed a deep red. “You…you…huh?”

The red-eyed woman glanced up at them confused, “hmm?”

“You…love me?” Indyko squeaked out.

Calliope blinked as she realized what she had said earlier. She blushed and looked away, taking a deep breath before looking back at them and nodding her head. “Yeah, I do…you don't have to say it back if you're not ready, no pressure at all. But I do love you.”

Indyko teared up slightly before hugging her close. “I love you too…it feels good to finally say that.” They giggled and kissed her cheek. “I love you too.”

Calliope gasped and smiled, “I'm so glad the feeling is mutual.”

“Me too,” Indyko smiled back, then placed a hand on their chest, “oh hey, my hiccups are gone. Your expression of love must've shocked them out of me. My hero yet again~” they snuggled up close to her.

Calliope internalized her disappointment, but smiled, “more than happy to help, my dear. How are you feeling?”

“Much much better, now I can eat my ice cream in peace,” Indy chuckled and Calliope couldn't help but chuckle along with them.

One day, Calliope would eventually tell them her secret, but for now, she liked the way things were going now.

Fin

[koala-otter]

can i get some soft modern!zukka pls 👉🏻👈🏻

anon honey, you can get whatever you like

I see a lot of fics where Sokka’s comforting and assuring Zuko, and as pointed out in this post by @nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice, something really great about their dynamic is the way Zuko actively appreciates and praises Sokka’s abilities when he’s fairly insecure about them

so here’s some soft modern!zukka written with that in mind 2k+ words

The ride back home is quiet except for the rain outside, because Sokka doesn’t say anything. Usually, after a party, he makes jokes about stuffy diplomats and comments extensively on the scant spread of hors d’oeuvres, but now, as Zuko watches him carefully in the back of the cab, Sokka only sits quietly with his arms crossed, his head turned to look out the window streaked with raindrops.

He is still quiet when they make it to their building in Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring, and then when they walk up the three flights up stairs to their apartment. He doesn’t even turn on the light as he walks through the door and into the living room, pausing only to kick his shoes off on the way in. 

Zuko watches after him, flicking the light on once Sokka’s passed by in his stormy wake. He loosens his tie and leans against the open doorway of the living room as he racks his brain for something to say.

“Do you want anything to eat?” he finally asks. “There wasn’t a lot of food at the party. You must be starving.” 

“Not hungry,” Sokka replies with a huff. He sinks lower into the sofa.

Zuko widens his eyes. Something is really wrong, then. He ventures further into the living room, ready to work his subtle charms on his unsuspecting boyfriend.

“Is something wrong?” Zuko asks plainly.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Sokka says loudly. He huffs again and crosses his arms.

Zuko rubs the right side of his face before looking at Sokka once more. “You know, it’s pretty obvious when you’re in a bad mood,” he says.

Sokka gives a short, dry laugh. “Right, and you’re the king of subtlety,” he says sarcastically.

They painted the walls robin’s egg blue in the living room when they moved in because it reminded Sokka of home, and it reminded Zuko of everything but his own. The building is old, so, while the hot water never lasts long, their apartment is a vision made up of high ceilings and tall windows with original crown molding. Zuko looks at the living room walls. During the day, the way they stretch up toward the white of the molding evokes memories of blue skies dotted with curly clouds. But at night, like now, when the light fades, and the wind whistles, and the windows are barraged with rain, the walls go dark. Almost as if the room itself were overcast.

Zuko lets a breath out and leaves the room. Sokka can’t keep anything to himself for long, but he still needs time to stew. They might as well have food ready for when he finally lets it out. 

Zuko reaches the kitchen and takes his suit jacket off, draping it over the back of a chair. The rice cooker sits on the countertop, a housewarming gift from Katara, ready for use. He takes out the pot and rinses rice in it, quickly, before measuring the water up to the first knuckle of his middle finger and placing it back in the cooker. He turns around from pressing the button to find Sokka shuffling in through the doorway, pulling a chair away from the kitchen table to settle heavily there instead. Zuko refrains from commenting on how he’ll wrinkle the jacket behind him, and instead grabs a packet of Sokka’s favorite seal jerky from the pantry and brings it with him to the table. He reaches over and takes Sokka’s hand. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asks.

Sokka pouts for another moment before he’s ready. 

High-pitched, and a little whiny, he erupts, “Everyone at your work thinks I’m stupid!” 

Zuko startles away before his eyes narrow and he draws closer to Sokka. “What?” he asks, disbelieving.

Sokka waves his arms helplessly in the air and throws his head back. “All those stupid lawyers and human rights dorks you work with! They think I’m an idiot.”

Zuko almost wants to laugh, but, with a glance at Sokka’s face, thinks better of it. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he instead says earnestly. “You’re the smartest person I know.”

Sokka scoffs and crosses his arms. 

“Really, Sokka,” Zuko insists. “I don’t know anyone else getting their PhD in mechanical and aerospace engineering at Ba Sing Se, the best university in the world.” 

“I do,” Sokka says, though the corner of his mouth is tugging up into something of a smug smile.

Zuko rolls his eyes. “Right, only everybody in your lab,” he deadpans. He pauses. “There’s all the other stuff, too. Like when you help me with my work. An engineer doesn’t have to be so good at economics, too.”

Zuko works as an associate expert at the United Council of Nations for Economics, Science, and Culture. He has spent many a night dragging briefings home and poring over them at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of some graph or diagram, when Sokka will take a break from his designs and calculations to glance over his shoulder.

“Whoa, Earth Kingdom agriculture’s gonna take a real hit next year,” he once said, pointing to a data point. “That’s way too big of a cabbage surplus.”

Zuko could only gape at him, and then buy Sokka the most expensive gym bag he could find when raising the point in a meeting the next day earned him a raise. 

“It’s intuitive,” Sokka says almost humbly, looking down at the kitchen table.

“If it’s intuitive to you, you could replace everyone who was at the party tonight,” Zuko replies.

Sokka's expression turns doubtful, and he bites his lip. Zuko resists the urge to kiss it.

“They were all laughing at me,” Sokka says.

Zuko tilts his head at him. “You’re funny,” he supplies hopefully. 

“I wasn’t telling any jokes,” Sokka says sadly. 

The sound of his voice wrenches at Zuko’s heart, and he barely registers it when he rises and finds himself tilting Sokka’s face up by his chin, only able to get this angle when Sokka is sitting. He bends down and kisses him. It only lasts a second, and when he pulls back, Sokka looks no less upset. Zuko is about to try to drum up some more words of comfort for him when the rice cooker starts beeping. 

Zuko smiles apologetically at Sokka and goes back to the counter, pressing the button and opening the rice cooker. A little puff of steam rises from beneath the lid and disappears on its way to the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, turning around to look at Sokka and leaning his back against the counter. 

“Not your fault,” Sokka says with a shrug, though the dejection still reads clearly across his face. 

The torrent outside only seems to have gotten stronger. The wet leaves of the maple tree outside their building slap against their windows, the sound so loud and forceful, they can hear it even in the kitchen.

“Jeez,” Sokka says, shifting forward to glance back at the archway that leads to the living room, “that’s loud.”

Zuko spies the jacket behind him, and he immediately brightens.

“Here,” he says, coming over to reach into the breast pocket. Sokka looks up at him in confusion as he pulls out the folded page of a newspaper and a pen. “Take this.”

Sokka takes the paper and unfolds it carefully. His brow immediately furrows in confusion. “What am I supposed to do with a crossword?” he asks. The question almost sounds like a whine. He eyes the paper once more before looking back up at Zuko like he might have gone insane. “And one you already finished?”

Zuko shakes his head. “But I didn’t finish it,” he says excitedly. He points to an area of the grid. “Look, I couldn’t figure these three out. And when I got into work, I asked everyone, and they couldn’t figure them out either.” He smiles. “If anyone can do it, it’s you, Sokka.”

Sokka looks doubtful once more, but he lays the crossword on the table. Zuko moves back to the counter and hears the click of a pen behind him. This is a good idea, he thinks, grabbing a carton of eggs from the fridge and placing a pan on the stove. Now Sokka will be occupied while he makes dinner, and they’ll have food ready just in time for when Sokka feels better, and he has time to fry eggs just the way Sokka likes them, yolks so runny they practically bleed onto the rice, and then they can watch one of his favorite history documentaries, and they’ll curl up on the sofa and fall asleep to the sound of the rain, or if they don’t feel like sleeping—

“Done!” Sokka says.

Zuko whirls around, two eggs in his hand, still uncracked, to find Sokka grinning smugly at him. “How?” he demands, genuinely surprised. 

Sokka shrugs, the grin immovable. “Easy,” he says. Zuko puts the eggs down and goes back to the kitchen table, his hand landing on Sokka’s shoulder. Sokka grabs it as he explains, “‘A Northern delicacy’ is obviously roast duck. And then ‘failure to communicate,’ with the duck in mind, is that expression your uncle’s always saying: ‘Like a chicken talking to a duck.’ And then ‘skinny appendages?’” He looks up at Zuko before he cheers, barely able to contain himself, “Chicken legs!”

“Let me see that,” Zuko says, grabbing the paper with his free hand. He stares at it closely. A small scowl reaches his lips. “Are you kidding me? I spent a whole hour on the monorail trying to get these. I almost missed my stop! And it was just ‘roast duck’ the whole time?”

He looks up sharply when he hears Sokka laughing. 

“I mean,” Zuko starts, a blush creeping into his cheeks as he smiles awkwardly, “I told you you were smart.”

“Actually, I think you called me the smartest person you know,” Sokka corrects jokingly. 

“You are the smartest person I know,” Zuko insists. 

He keeps smiling at the scratchy characters of Sokka’s writing on the crossword next to the careful strokes of his own when he feels Sokka pulling him by the hand. Once Zuko is standing in front of him, Sokka throws his arms around his boyfriend’s middle and hugs him tightly, burying his head into Zuko’s ribs. 

“Thanks, Zuko,” he says quietly into the fabric of Zuko’s dress shirt. 

One of Zuko’s hands lands on the top of Sokka’s head, stroking his hair till he reaches the end of his wolf tail. Then, Zuko wraps his arms around Sokka’s neck and shoulders and hugs him back fiercely, protectively. 

“Love you,” he says, and he smiles when he feels Sokka nod against his chest. He rubs Sokka’s shoulders and upper back, trying to ease the tight muscle beneath his hands. “Do you think you might want something to eat now?”

Sokka pulls his face away from Zuko’s shirt to beam up at him. “I thought you’d never ask,” he says enthusiastically. 

After their easy dinner of fried eggs and seal jerky on rice, Zuko ends up being right; they go back to the living room and watch a documentary on the construction of the ancient air temples. They lie on the couch with Sokka between Zuko’s legs, his head on Zuko’s chest. The rain has stopped outside, but Zuko hardly notices with Sokka pressed against him. From this angle, he can pull the tie out of Sokka’s hair and comb his fingers through the soft, brown tresses, as well as the fuzz of his undercut, while the narrator debunks a theory that aliens teleported the building materials up the Potola Mountain Range.

“What do you think, Sokka?” Zuko whispers near his ear. “Did aliens build the air temples?”

Sokka’s response is a light snore against his chest. 

Zuko suppresses a laugh. There’s no way of getting Sokka to bed without waking him, so Zuko settles in behind him instead. He wraps one of his arms protectively around his boyfriend’s body, while the other stays in place to let his fingers keep playing with Sokka’s hair, enjoying the soft smile it coaxes onto his relaxed mouth. The clouds outside clear to make way for the nearly full moon, whose light spills through the towering windows into the apartment. The dark lifts from the room, the walls glow an otherworldly blue, and Zuko sinks beneath Sokka’s weight into the night’s quiet.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

What would you say are Rin and Haru's biggest flaws, individually?

Hmmm... I think when it comes to Haru, it’s firstly his stubborness, like he’s one of those people who would rather go broke, than budge from their life principles, which is not necessarily bad in my opinion, but it’s just very impractical and sometimes can lead to, well.. season 2 kind of thing, when you know... you gotta think about your future and realize that in reality you can’t be “fully free” in life, or like how you gonna pay the bills haha (like I skipped school a lot like him too, but this kind of thing doesn’t really matter if you can pass anyway, cause you smart without them and like reading, but after school you still gotta do smth, and even tho I undestand the whole “turning smth I adore into profession can make me hate it” dilemma, there’s still ways of figuring out how to go around it, which thanks to Rin he did, so it’s all ok).

But that was like s1-2 Haru’s problem, now he’s completely changed and grew up so nicely and behaves like an adult and does everything he needs to do, once he realized what his dream is, plus he didn’t even faulter after the Albert thing and I was so proud of him, I just didn’t expect such radical growth tbh, so it’s getting harder to find the flaws in him lol

The second one (and that once again not now!Haru related), but it’s been mentioned in the books too is his unwillingness to accept help. He’s like a real tough cookie, when it comes to this. Like the only two people who can make him do it and whom he allows to are Rin and Nagisa. And that's mainly because they manage to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt his dignity, I think. Cause like with Makoto for example, Haru stated that every time he tries to help him, he does it in a way, that makes him feel pathetic and weak, like Makoto is pitying him. And I don’t know if anybody ever experienced this, but when you feel like someone pities you, normal people’s pride just won’t allow to accept any help like this, and when it comes to ppl like Haru (and coming from a person like this xD), he’d rather die somewhere in a dumpster, than accept it haha. Which leads to situations like “I’ll let all Makoto’s mom food rot in the fridge, but won’t touch it, even if I starve and pass out.. cause I have my own rice, you bitch” haha

And I know it’s kinda a bad trait to have maybe, but I understand it. Plus it’s really mostly past Haru related, I mean, after the last movie, when they released a scene, when Haru himself went to ask Ryuuji to train him (well, in his own savage way, ofc and disrespectfully in the middle of the night haha, but still), I kinda think he’s dealing with this real good and gonna be okay. But in case something too drastic happens, everyone knows they should call Rin lmao, but now it’s okay, since he’s gonna be always near us anyways:)

Rin... well, his biggest problem in my opinion is the fact that he’s complitely oblivious when it comes to reading people’s feelings. And I mean, most might think that’s it no biggy and just a cool trick to have, but no needed in general, but to be honest it can really help you in life, and in Rin’s case, literally half of his problems wouldn’t even be there in the first place. 

I know, it’s very ironic, since he’s obsessed with watching melodramas and it’s really funny in moments, like when he thinks Gou is into Momo or smth like that... like him being clueless about other ppl is pretty harmless. But when it comes to his personal love life it’s just, it gets sad and just absurd. Like okay, he didn’t get that Haru didn’t want to let him go and that he was heartbroken seeing him cry (although since when Haru runs after people, and physically refuses to let them go idk), but he also apparently thought that Haru asking him to call him was just him being polite... and even after everything was resolved and Haru dropped the new team and everything, just to say that without him he doesn’t even need swimming, and after knowing that Haru wasn’t even swimming all these years... he still didn’t get what it was about. And let me just remind you, that he returned home on each holiday with a thought that Haru didn’t want to see him and when Gou said that it killed me, it seriously killed me!

He wants to call Haru, but then he doesn’t, cause “what if he disturbs him”... when Haru literally said to his face that he can’t wait to see him again, when they went to their sakura date, when Haru was all “pls come back soon”... but nah, Rin’s brain still went “he doesn’t want to hear you, let me pine here”.

He fucking thought that Haru called him and ran to him in the middle of the night... because he was intersted in Gou. I’m... shoot me, pls.

I literally know only two fictional characters who were oblivious to this extent. And the other one had to die, reincarnate, and be on the verge of dying again to realise this and only after he was told openly by another person “bitch ya blind”, so I honestly do not know how do we deal with this here lmao

The second one (and that once again mostly about past Rin and I think it’s fine in that age)... he was a drama queen, he’s like “I quit!!!!!!!!” and he throws his goggles and he kicks the trash bins and squeezes and throws cans around, but we all know that he just needs to calm down a bit and he’s gonna keep going xD And that’s perfectly fine, I mean, I have such days, too, but the problem is that many people around him actually take his words seriously, so like, idk... I get it, everyone gets emotional, but maybe be careful about throwing words like “I never have to swim with you ever again” out there, some things are hard to forget, even when they’re said in the heat of the moment. Like, did you ever like say smth in the middle of the fight that you didn’t mean, but just cause you knew it would hurt the other? This is like very common, but still wouldn’t recommend xD And it applies to both of them actually, like Mr.”What dream? What future?” is no better haha, although Rin still wins the crown, cause in s1 he was offended by literally everyone, and he was like little Godzilla all cause he thought Haru didn’t want him back lmao. Which really leads us back to his first and only problem:D

P.S. Their biggest flaws tbh were just like a normal part of growing up thing in my opinion. I just feel like they were both extra in their own kind of ways back then, but now... looking at them now, the way they talk, the way they behave.. I mean, they grew up so nicely and their characters progressed so nicely, that I don’t even know what flaws they have now.. well, except for Rin still not getting anything, when it comes to Haru’s feelings. He was like “you’re the one for me” and Haru went “same” and Rin went “hahaha well, okay, we must not say that, do you want me to show you how to put your seat down?” and then he fell asleep... yeah #EXTREMELYSLOWBURN #YOUMIGHTDIEWATCHINGTHEMBUTITSOKAY #TOTALLYWORTHIT

I’m just literally waiting for them in 2021 to have a scene from the memes:

Person A: I love you.

Person B *is heartbroken*: Who is You? Do I even know him?

Person A *points at B*: No. You. I’m in love with you.

Person B *turns around to see that there’s no one behind him and starts crying* Well, of course you’d love this beautiful piece of air, before you loved me.

Person A: Jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick...

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Onsra- Chapter 37: Where Have All The Flowers Gone

banner created by: @envity ♥️

pairing: vampire!jungkook x female reader (also vamp!tae x ga-in oc & vamp!jimin x yuri oc)

genre: E2L, romance, horror, angst, drama

warnings for this chapter: fluff, some tension between peeps, blood, death, use of guns and knives, kook is struggling, pls don't kill me.

word count: 10.8k

Onsra: ML, Previous

love you ;-;

____________________________________

“I’d rather do literally anything else but drink that.” Jungkook scowls at the bag of blood in your hands as you roll your eyes at him.

“I know, but you have to…come on.” You shake it at him until he snatches it out of your hands and turns away from you, ripping it open with his teeth and downing it in a matter of seconds. Your chest lightens with relief that he has eaten, and you pat him on the shoulder consolingly.

“Now that it’s over, we can go.” You smile and he grimaces at you, wiping his lips repetitively, the obsessive habit he has making your heart ache a little in your chest. Jungkook leaves to the kitchen to toss the empty bag and say a few words to Jin before coming back and grabbing his hoodie. He pulls it over his head and puts the hood up, effectively covering most of his skin.

You smile as he grabs your hand and tucks it into the front pocket of his hoodie, holding it protectively. “Ok, I’m ready.” He announces cutely. You hold up the book and grin, “Let’s go!” 

You two make your way onto the front porch and down the steps, moving toward the forest. You don’t miss the slight grunt of pain Jungkook makes when the sun touches his skin as he tries to adjust his hoodie. You pretend not to notice though, knowing he’ll just get more self-conscious if he knows you saw. So, you ignore the pain in your chest and look around at the little blue birds flying around, relief entering your mind when you finally reach the cover of the trees.

“Ok, race you!” Jungkook suddenly shouts, letting go of your hand and taking off into the forest. You flinch in surprise, then you glare at the back of his head before running, “You’re a cheater and cheaters never win!” You shout angrily, trying not to laugh at how annoying he can be sometimes.

Jungkook’s laugh rings out but he doesn’t slow down, quickly disappearing out of your sight. You sigh and huff out your breath, hoping an asthma attack doesn’t creep up on you. When you make it to the clearing and Jungkook is nowhere in sight, you feel anxiety tugging at your chest.

Where did he go?

“BOO!”

“AHHHH!” You jump back from Jungkook as he leaps out from behind a tree and shouts, laughing hysterically at the look of pure terror on your face. He grabs you before you stumble to the ground, “Got you.” He giggles and you slap his arm, “I swear, you’re such a brat.” You mutter in annoyance. Jungkook smiles smugly, satisfied that he was able to scare you so bad and get such a funny reaction.

You shove his book at him, making him laugh as he grabs it. Then you stomp over to the rock where you two shared your first kiss, plopping yourself on the ground and lying back against it. “Get over here and read to me before I change my mind and go hang out with Seokjin.” You say threateningly.

Jungkook giggles at your behavior, knowing you hate it when he wins all the time. He jogs over and sits down next to you, poking your cheek until you turn to glare at him, “Stop that, what do you want?” You hiss. Jungkook pouts, “I want you to not be mad at me.” You look away, irritated beyond belief that he is so irresistibly adorable even when he annoyed you a minute ago.

“I’m not mad.” You sigh in defeat and smile at him, your heart fluttering when you see his sharp canines as he smiles brightly. “Alright, I’ll read now!”

Adorable little brat.

You turn and lay your head on his lap, ready for him to take his turn in reading his story to you. The book he’s been reading to you is almost finished and you love it so far, just as he promised you would. Jungkook clears his throat and you hear him flipping the pages in the book.

“Where did you fall asleep at?” He asks and you laugh.

“How should I know, if I fell asleep?”

Jungkook chuckles at that, “Ok, what do you last remember?”

“Um, I remember her falling and hurting her ankle…?” You hear him flip a few more pages, then he makes a sound of approval, “Alright, I got it.” Then he starts to read, his voice immediately relaxing you as it whisks you into the little world he’s created with only the beautiful words flowing from his lips.

Time flies by and Jungkook keeps his steady pace as he reads page after page, never tiring.

“She felt her heart race as he stared at her. His gaze slowly shifted to her lips, then-…”

You lift your head in confusion when he stops abruptly. Then you squint at Jungkook, who’s biting his bottom lip as he reads the page silently to himself, his eyes flickering around the page.

“Then, what?” You ask and Jungkook jumps, looking up at you sheepishly. He doesn’t say anything as you laugh at his expression, “Why are you stopping at such an intense part??” You exclaim. Jungkook ducks his head in embarrassment, “I- I feel weird.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…reading romantic parts out loud is making me feel like a weirdo.”

You burst out laughing and he looks at you, his face almost pained with awkwardness. “Is it a kiss scene?!” You ask excitedly and he nods hesitantly.

“Finally!!” You shout in ecstasy, throwing your arms in the air before snatching the book from him, “Don’t worry Kook, I’ll read this part to myself.” Then you turn, hiding the book from his view as you eagerly scan the words.

Jungkook laughs quietly, knowing how much you love romance as his tummy tickles with butterflies. He’s glad you’re reading this part to yourself though, as much as he is a hopeless romantic himself, reading it aloud to someone else is more awkward than he thought it’d be. A tiny squeal leaves your mouth and he chuckles at how cute you are.

~                   ~                  ~

“Koo! Flower!” Honey shrieks when you and Jungkook walk through the front door after spending the day in the clearing. Jungkook smiles shyly and crouches enough to scoop her up when she runs into his arms.

“Hi, Honey.” He says gently, letting her pat his cheeks and kiss his forehead. You giggle and come up to kiss her head, “Hi, baby.” You boop her nose and she giggles, then you make your way to the kitchen to help Jin with dinner, leaving Jungkook to Honey. When you turn to look at them again, the sight of him placing her on his hip and asking her questions melts your heart and you feel a horrible urge to cry.

Stop being so emotional, y/n.

You chide yourself in your brain, forcing yourself to look away and go into the kitchen. “Please tell me you need help with dinner.” You say as Seokjin turns to smile at you, setting his knife down.

“I most certainly do, kiddo. Get over here and chop these veggies.” He gestures to the cutting board he was just at and you sigh in relief, wanting something to do to get your mind off certain things. Sooyoung grins at you from her place at the stove as she cooks eggs, her cheeks tinted pink when Jin reaches around her to check on the rice.

You smile back, trying not to squeal and make them awkward around each other. You turn and start cutting the vegetables that Seokjin has placed on the cutting board, making small talk with them as you three work diligently. After a few minutes, you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist, startling you as you set the knife down and turn your head to see Jungkook smiling at you.

“Kook, you scared me.”

“Again? You’re a scaredy-cat, y/n.” He snickers at you.

You’re about to respond, but then you see Seokjin and Sooyoung exchanging glances with each other, the looks on their faces showing how badly they want to tease you and Jungkook. Your cheeks heat up and you turn around to keep cutting the veggies, “If you’re going to be in the kitchen, then make yourself useful.” You scold Jungkook gently. He frowns, then he kisses the top of your head, “Namjoon hyung wanted to speak with me, so I’m going to go do that. Have fun!” Then he scurries out of the kitchen, leaving you to shake your head at him.

“You and Kook are so cute together.” Sooyoung whispers when she moves next to you, making you embarrassed once again. You smile shyly, “Thanks.” You look over your shoulder to make sure Jin is occupied, then you whisper back. “So are you and Seokjin.”

Sooyoung’s cheeks burst into flames instantly and she splutters bashfully, “H-he doesn’t think of me like that…” You smile at her gently, “Believe me, he does.”

You try to hide your amusement when Sooyoung is so flustered that Jin has to keep coming over to help her with the eggs, making her even more nervous. The two of them compliment each other so perfectly that it seems too good to be true. Jin is always so happy around her and the way she laughs at his jokes makes his face brighten all the time, not to mention the way he positively towers over her; seeming like a soft giant next to her tiny frame that’s always fidgeting nervously.

It really is just too cute.

~                          ~                    ~

“Hyung? You wanted to talk to me?”

Namjoon looks up at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, closing his book as he smiles at the young vampire. “Yeah, come in Kook.”

Jungkook walks into the study, settling himself in a chair in front of the giant desk that Namjoon sits on the other side of. “Why are we in here?” He asks curiously, noticing the map on the desk in front of the older boy.

Namjoon clears his throat, “Yoongi hyung wants to talk to everyone together at some point for the final plans and preparations, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

Jungkook nods and Namjoon continues, “We’re going to see the Hunters in three days. Yoongi hyung thinks that things are going to start setting off quickly after that. We could be following through with the plan a few days after we meet with them.”

Jungkook’s stomach twists anxiously at this news.

He’s known for so long that it would eventually come to this, but he had never had you in the equation when he thought of it. All he wanted a few months ago was to take his revenge on those that did this to them, but now he has you and the others to think about.

Namjoon sees the way Jungkook fidgets nervously, and all he wants to do is reassure Jungkook that everything will be fine. He isn’t sure how to though, because he doesn’t know how it is going to go at all. But he clears his throat again and speaks up anyway, “We just need to keep our heads on straight and things should be fine. We aren’t stupid, we’ll be well prepared.”

Jungkook nods absentmindedly, “So, what are some of the plans?” He asks, turning his gaze back to his older brother. Namjoon opens a drawer to grab a few papers out, laying them on the desk, “The last time we met, we decided that we would be luring as many vamps as we could to a certain place where we could hopefully have the upper hand if we take them by surprise. Here’s a list of all our weapons, I’ve taken careful inventory.” Namjoon hands Jungkook a paper to glance at, “We were going to decide the place when we meet again. I’m hoping they found as many Hunters that they seemed to think they would. We’re going to need every person we can get.”

Jungkook nods again at that, “And what about the girls?”

Namjoon sighs, “They’ll be staying here, as uncomfortable as I am with it. This is the safest place for them right now. If we end up finding a better hiding spot then we’ll have them go there, but for now, this is all we have.” He sees Jungkook worrying his lip so he adds in, “Seokjin hyung will be staying with them. He isn’t well enough to join us, as mad as he’ll be about that. He can stay with the girls and keep them safe.”

Jungkook feels a little better at that, but not much. When he isn’t with you himself, being able to physically see and touch you to make sure you’re safe, it makes him nervous. “I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change anything, so I guess that’s what we’ll have to do.” Jungkook sighs, making Namjoon smile sadly.

“Hope, Kook. Always have hope.”

~                     ~                   ~

“Jeon Jungkook, you need a haircut.”

“Pardon?” Jungkook looks at you like you just grew a second head, which you can’t blame him too much for, seeing as he’s very attached to his long hair. You laugh and reach up to run your fingers through his thick locks, “Just a little trim. I won’t cut too much off.”

Jungkook flinches away and puts his hands up in a defensive stance, “What the hell do you mean you won’t cut too much off? You are not touching my hair.” You snort another laugh, “Come on Kook, it’ll feel nice and refreshing to get a little trim!”

“I don’t care about refreshing!” Jungkook backs away putting his hands on his hair protectively. “Why? You don’t like my hair?” He pouts, making you smile at his cute antics. “I love your hair, Koo. I just want to make it look a little less raggedy for you.” You try to reason with him.

Jungkook looks indignant at your choice of words.

“I am not raggedy.”

You sigh, throwing your hands up in the air, “Fine, whatever! I’ll leave it be. And for the record, I never said you were raggedy, just your hair.” Jungkook looks relieved when you decide to back down from cutting his hair. He doesn’t like changes; they make him uneasy.

“Can we go outside?” Jungkook takes your hand and kisses it, wanting to get back on your good side. The weather is a bit cloudy today, the sun not shining much, so it’s perfect for Jungkook to go outdoors without his hoodie. He wants to spend as much time with you as he can since he’ll be leaving to meet the Hunters the day after tomorrow. He knows everything should go smoothly, but he can’t help the pit of worry in his stomach whenever he thinks about it.

“Sure.” Your smile brightens, instantly warming his chest.

When the two of you come in a few hours later laden with flowers, Seokjin comes out from the kitchen and laughs.

“Oh good, our other bouquets are very wilted, it’s time to change them out!” He takes the flowers from you both with a giant smile on his face, then he turns to you. “Y/n, I wanted to ask a favor of you.”

You pull off your shoes, tossing them into the closet before looking at him, “Of course, what do you need?” Jungkook watches the exchange curiously.

Sooyoung walks over and takes the flowers from Jin to put in some water as Jin turns back to you, “Sooyoung said that she heard you offering to cut Kook’s hair earlier. I need a haircut too if you’re willing to give me one!”

You honestly have never cut anyone’s hair in your life, but the hopeful look on Jin’s face makes you agree almost instantly.

“Yeah, I must warn you that I’ve never done it, and Kook didn’t trust me. But I can try!” Jin smiles at your words, making Jungkook scowl in irritation. “Oh, I don’t care what it looks like, it’s just starting to look real messy and it’s bugging me.” Jin’s windshield wiper laugh echoes in the hall and you turn to give Jungkook a smug look. He just rolls his eyes and turns away.

“Well, let’s give it a try!” Jin booms confidently.

~                  ~                     ~

Jin’s hair turns out a lot better than you thought it would.

In fact, it turns out so much better than you thought it would that you now have a line of eager boys waiting for their turn.

Jimin is currently sitting in the chair in front of you that you set up in the bathroom, his thumbs twiddling mindlessly as you work on his hair. Tae is next in line, bouncing on his feet in excitement. Hoseok is after Tae, and Namjoon is behind him. Yoongi stands idly at the end of the line, pretending he’s just watching but secretly trying to figure out how to ask you to do his when no one is looking.

Jungkook is too busy pouting in his room to see how everyone’s hair is turning out. He’s mad at himself for denying your offer but even more mad that the boys would have jumped at the chance to get a haircut whether he did it or not.

When Yoongi finally gives in and accepts the fact that all the others want to watch him get his hair done, you do his quickly and send him on his way. He has the biggest gummy smile on his face as he looks at his hair in the mirror, liking how much neater it looks already.

“C-can you cut my hair?”

You look up in surprise at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Setting down the broom and dustpan you were using to clean up all the hair in the bathroom, you give him a small smile. “It’s alright Kook, your hair looks good the way it is. Don’t feel like you have to cut it because everyone else did.”

Jungkook bites his lip, “I know, I just want to try it. Just the ends, though.” He’s quick to make sure you know not to cut it short. You giggle and gesture to the chair still sitting in the middle of the small bathroom, “I promise I’ll only do a little.” Jungkook nods and takes a seat, clasping his hands on his lap nervously.

You take the scissors and walk around to look at his hair from the back, “If it isn’t bothering you at all except the ends then it should be pretty easy.”

“Ok.” Jungkook’s voice sounds small when he answers you. You smile and give the top of his head a quick kiss before getting to work. You only take off a centimeter or two on the ends, the tips a bit broken and ratty looking. The length of his hair doesn’t look any different, much to his relief when you tell him. You move to the front, gently messing with the hair around his face as you try to figure out how to do it.

That’s when you notice Jungkook clenching his eyes shut, his lips pursed tightly.

“Koo? Hey, are you okay? I can stop here.”

“I-it’s not that.” He stutters and you realize what he means.

The dark cloud is back.

His hands start to shake, so you set your scissors down, taking his hands gently in your own. “You’re okay, and you won’t turn.” You whisper softly.

Jungkook gives a small nod, “I- I’m okay, and I won’t turn. P-please stay with me, y/n. I’m scared to be alone.”

“Always, Kookie. I’m always here.”

You sit there for a minute before his hands relax and he opens his eyes slowly. “Sorry, I just-“

“Don’t apologize, Kook. I understand…are you okay?” You brush a strand of hair from his face then you cup his cheek with your hand. Jungkook leans into your touch, craving the warmth your hand gives to his cool skin.

After you finish with his hair, which looks almost the exact same as it did when you started, just a little tamer on the ends, Jungkook smiles approvingly in the mirror. “Thanks, y/n.” You’re about to respond when you see his expression change. He seems to be examining himself, his face dropping the more he looks.

“I never really look at myself.” He whispers, “Now I remember why.”

“Kook-“

“It’s okay.” He looks at you in the mirror, his smile coming back but seeming less genuine. “I’m just saying, that’s all.”

“You’re handsome, so stop looking at yourself like you aren’t.” You huff, not aware of what you just said. When you look back up and see Jungkook smiling shyly and not looking at you, you realize what came out of your mouth.

“Oh, I- uh…”

“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers, taking you by surprise.

Then a warm feeling spreads in your chest, relief that maybe he really believes that you see him as such making you almost giddy. Jungkook turns and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, “You’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks heat up and you look away, laughing it off, “What a pair we are.” You mumble jokingly, smiling when Jungkook giggles.

~                          ~                               ~

You’re sitting on Jungkook’s bed, watching with a frown as he packs his little satchel with a few things.

“Can’t I come with you?” You ask sadly, already knowing the answer. Jungkook stands up from where he was kneeling on the floor packing, touching your cheeks gently and smiling encouragingly. “The girls need you here, little flower. All we’re going to do is talk, you don’t have to worry about us being in danger, alright?”

He catches your gaze, squinting playfully at you until you give him a small smile, “Alright. Please be careful, Kookie.” He nods, kissing your forehead before pulling you to stand.

“We should get downstairs.” He says reluctantly, not happy about having to leave you either.

“I could take Jimin’s place since he’s staying anyway.” You suggest, following Jungkook out of his room and pouting when you hear him chuckle.

“No, love. I told you, the girls need you here. Honey needs you to keep her company.” He takes your hand, walking down the stairs with you slightly behind him. With Honey added into the argument, you have nothing to say back. The small child is your weakness, and Jungkook knows that.

When you reach the living room and see all the boys minus Jimin ready to head out, you frown again. Jimin is holding Yuri’s hand cutely, talking to Tae and laughing about something that you can’t hear. Seokjin insisted on joining them for meeting the Hunters when he found out he couldn’t join them for the ‘fight’. You don’t know much about this ‘fight’ as they call it, since no one has explained much to you, but the sound of it makes you nervous.

Since Jin wouldn’t take no for an answer when accompanying them, Jimin offered to stay behind with you girls and said someone could fill him in before they leave for the actual attack.

Jungkook gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before following the older boys out, waving and smiling at you reassuringly.

When the blue van is out of sight, you decide to play with Honey to keep yourself occupied while they’re gone. Yoongi told you that they should be back late tonight, if not, then early tomorrow morning. The meeting wasn’t supposed to be long and everyone had preparations to make after it.

So, you swallow the lump in your throat and call Honey over to go and pick flowers with you.

~                       ~                          ~

“Anyone have any good road trip songs?” Jin calls out, trying to lighten the mood.

He gets a few chuckles, but no one suggests any songs, much to his disappointment. Seokjin looks in his rearview mirror and sees Jungkook in the back, staring out the window with a blank look on his face. Then it looks like he starts to whisper to himself before Jin brings his eyes back to the dirt road ahead, not sure what Jungkook is doing and not knowing how to help him.

The ride only takes two hours before they’re pulling up to an old building that looks a bit like a deserted elementary school. Jin parks the car and looks around, a strange feeling filling everyone’s tummies at the sight of so many cars parked here. A few men are walking into the building as the boys clamber out of the car. One of them waves but none of the boys recognize him as they wave back.

Just a fellow Hunter apparently.

Jungkook has his hood up, covering his pale skin and red eyes. He hisses in pain quietly when the sun touches his hands before he shoves them in the front pocket of his hoodie. Seokjin walks over to Jungkook and puts a hand on his shoulder, “Alright, Kook. The Hunters they met knew that Yoongi and Namjoon were vamps before, so they’re expecting us to be vampires. You won’t have to hide once we get in and the Hunters they met explain things to everyone else.” Jungkook nods, biting his bottom lip absentmindedly.  

When they walk into the auditorium in the old school, Jungkook’s stomach turns at the sight of so many Hunters in one place. There has to be at least three hundred, and most of them have guns, some even have sheathed swords hanging at their sides, no doubt made of pure silver. He knows they’re all on the same side, but the thought of a Hunter not realizing he’s a good guy and attacking him makes him walk slower than the rest of the group.

They find some empty seats and sit down as Yoongi says he’s going to find the guys that came up with this and explain things. Jungkook watches him walk away, then he glances around the room. One big man with a bushy mustache and a shiny bald head, glares at Jungkook suspiciously. Jungkook can’t tell if he can see what he’s hiding or not, but the man has definitely already taken a disliking to him.

The young vampire’s attention is drawn to the stage when a tall young man with black hair starts waving his arms in the air as a signal for everyone to quiet down.

“Thank you to everyone that has come today, there are more that will be joining us but aren’t here. I’m just going to get straight to the point. You all know you’re here to help us eradicate the vampires. We found an old church that we’re going to be luring the vampires to-“

“And how are you going to do that?” A voice shouts from the crowd.

The black-haired young man on the stage smiles and nods, “You’ve also heard some rumors about good vampires I’m sure, so I’ll put your minds to rest and answer your question at the same time. There are some people that were changed, but not enough to become unrecognizable. A few of them have agreed to help us by spreading the news of a vampire meeting among the enemy.”

Murmurs move through the crowd and Jungkook feels the need to sink further into his seat. These Hunters don’t sound convinced. The guy on stage waves his arms again before continuing. “I know it’s hard to believe, but it will work. All you need to worry about is showing up and helping us.”

He keeps talking, but Jungkook isn’t paying attention. He’s too focused on not letting the Hunters around him see his appearance, seeing as they’re all getting worked up.

~                           ~                              ~

“Well, that was…fine.” Seokjin muses when they’re all once again sitting in the car.

Jungkook ended up staying hidden under his hood the entire time, all of them agreeing that that was safest for now. A lot of the Hunters there were angry about the fact that they were allies with a few vamps. They didn’t seem to care that they were once people before being turned.

Mutters of agreements float through the car, but Jungkook stays silent. He just wants to get home to you and pretend like none of this is happening. He knows you’re not going to be happy when you find out that the sneak attack is supposed to happen the day after tomorrow.

It’s a lot sooner than everyone anticipated, and no one is jumping for joy over that fact. Yoongi keeps saying how he’s not pleased, but the sooner things get over with, the happier he’ll be. Jungkook can’t disagree that he wants this over.

But if he’s being honest, he has no idea what’s going to happen to him when it is.

Is he going to have to stay in hiding for the rest of his life?

The thought of living in the shadows and drinking nothing but blood, without you by his side, for the rest of forever, makes him sick. He’s been avoiding thinking about what’s happening to him, but he can tell that his time is running out.

The deep red color of his eyes was the first sign for him that he doesn’t have much longer, and now he can’t be in any sunlight without it feeling like it’s scorching him. The dark cloud is looming over his mind, growing bigger as it waits for its time to strike. And once it does, he knows he’s screwed. Jungkook can feel the control of his emotions slipping away, day by day. He can still feel his love for you constantly, but sometimes he can sense an unwanted and uncalled for anger or resentment creeping into his mind.

That’s when he tries to pull away, afraid to be near you when his emotions are so unpredictable. But he’s done his best in not letting you see that side of him. He wants his last moments with you to be happy, so he pretends everything is okay.

That’s when an idea pops into his head and he smiles to himself, planning on asking Seokjin for help when they get home.

~                           ~                               ~

“They’re home!” Yuri shouts happily, her head poking out of the curtains in the living room. You jump up from the floor where you were cleaning up a mess that Honey had accidentally made, then you run to the front door and fling it open. Running down the steps, you wait until the blue van is fully parked before hurrying over to it. You’re bouncing on your toes while the boys climb out, saying hello to each of them as they make their way inside.

When Jungkook climbs out, you throw your arms around him and hug him. He laughs and wraps his arms around you, picking you up and carrying you to the front porch where he sets you down and hugs you tightly. “I’m okay.” He keeps repeating it to you, his chest aching when he hears your sniffles.

Jungkook pulls back and brushes your hair out of your face, “Don’t cry, y/n. I’m alright, it was just a meeting.” He hates it when you cry, and he doesn’t know how to help you.

You laugh tearfully, “They’re happy tears, Koo. I just missed you a lot and I’m glad you’re back.” Jungkook smiles, giggling when you peck his lips. “Have you guys eaten yet?” He asks as he takes your hand and leads you back inside. You shake your head, “We were just about to make dinner. None of us were very hungry at all today.”

He nods in understanding, then he laughs when he sees Honey charging for him; her tiny legs pumping quickly under her as she runs full speed ahead into his arms.

When everyone is seated at the dinner table, Namjoon decides to fill everyone in on what happened and what the plan is from now on. He doesn’t hesitate and gets straight to the point.

“We’re going through with the plan the day after tomorrow.”

Your heart sinks to your feet and you feel Jungkook put a comforting hand on your thigh. You try to smile at him but end up just looking away and picking at your food as Namjoon continues.

“There’s an abandoned church we’re meeting at. It’s far from here, so there shouldn’t be much risk of danger for you girls. As we’ve decided, Seokjin hyung will be staying with you and if we don’t find any other safe house before we leave, you’ll be staying here.”

Everyone nods, the plan being pretty clear and easy to understand. You fidget anxiously, hating everything about this. You have no desire whatsoever to be involved in the fight, but you also hate staying home and wondering if your friends are alive as you sit in the safety of the living room.

It’s a terrible feeling.

In bed that night, you force yourself to stay where you are. You have an urge to get up and go to Jungkook, to try and talk out your worries and maybe comfort each other, but you don’t want to disturb him when he needs all the rest he can get.

So, you toss and turn until you fall into a restless sleep, the rest of your night filled with nightmares of cold skin, sharp teeth and blood, blood, blood.

~                      ~                        ~

“I want to take you out today.” Jungkook says shyly, holding your hand sweetly. Breakfast was a few hours ago and it’s nearing lunchtime, the day flying by while you dwell on tomorrow. You smile at him and nod, “Are we going to read, or pick flowers?” You ask, knowing there really aren’t many options for you two these days.

Jungkook smirks and shakes his head, “Neither. Go and get ready and I’ll tell you when it’s time to go.” Then he jumps up and hurries out of the living room. You watch him in amusement, wondering what on earth he’s planning.

When you walk into your room to get dressed, a soft knock sounds on the door a minute after you close it. You walk back over and open it to see Jin smiling at you, holding something behind his back.

“Hey, y/n. Sorry to bother you, but I have something for you.” He says quickly, looking over his shoulder and down the hall to make sure no one is there. You open the door and let him in, closing it behind him.

“What is it?” You ask curiously, trying to see behind his back.

Seokjin smiles brightly, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Jungkook is planning something really special, and I found this last week. I thought I’d show it to you and see if you wanted to wear it today.” He pulls a pastel yellow sundress out from behind his back and your eyes light up.

“Oh, it’s so pretty! Thank you Jin, where on earth did you find it?” You take the soft dress, holding it close to your chest.

Jin’s grin widens, “I found it in the attic, in an old chest. It might be a bit big, so I got this as well.” He hands you a brown belt, “Jungkook is really excited, and I felt like maybe you’d like to dress up a little since you never get to these days.”

Your eyes well up at how thoughtful the eldest is, and you give him a quick hug. “Thank you so much, I’ll put it on right away. Will you let me know what you think of it?” You ask happily and Jin nods, still smiling.

He leaves the room while you change into the dress, only coming back in when you call him. He walks in to see you standing there shyly, clasping your hands in front of you. The yellow dress is fairly big on you, but the yellow belt keeps it in place. Your off-white socks and messy hair completely contrasting it, but Jin knows Jungkook will love it.

“You look beautiful, y/n.” Jin looks close to tears as you feel yourself blush and mumble a thank you.

“Ok, let’s get you all ready!” Jin snaps out of his emotional state and hurries over to grab a rag, running into the bathroom and wetting it before giving it to you to wipe your face. As you clean your face as best you can, Jin ties your hair back so it doesn’t fall into your face. When he’s all finished, he takes the rag from you and steps back to admire the work you two did.

He claps his hands slowly, a smug smirk on his face. “We’ve done it. You look great!” You keep thanking him over and over again, then you two hang out in your room and talk until Jin goes to see if Jungkook is done with the preparations yet.

When you walk downstairs to see Jungkook waiting by the door with a big basket in his arms, your heart flutters.

He’s taking you on a picnic.

Jungkook’s eyes widen when he sees you, his lips turning up into a smile. You always look so cute to him, but to see that you wanted to dress up today makes his chest ache from how much he loves you.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful.” He says when you reach him, then he reaches over and caresses your cheek lovingly. “You’re so adorable.” His lips are about to tear from how wide he’s smiling, and your cheeks are blazing from the affection he’s showing.

After pulling on your dirty white sneakers, you follow Jungkook out to the porch. He puts his hood up, “Sorry I can’t hold your hand, I have to carry the basket.” He says sheepishly. You shake your head quickly, “It’s alright, I’m carrying the umbrella, so I’ve got my hands full!” You lift the umbrella to show him, making him chuckle.

“Alrighty, let’s go!”  

~                           ~                       ~

Jungkook takes you to a little pond where there are lots of trees, making lots of shade. Then he kneels on the ground and starts setting the picnic up. “I know you were excited about the picnic that day, but you didn’t get to go. I hope this can make up for it.” Jungkook is busily unfolding the blanket for the ground so he doesn’t see you wipe your eyes, trying not to cry from his kind gesture.

“I love it, Koo. Thank you.”

He smiles to himself, pulling out different foods and telling you which ones he made and which ones Seokjin had to help him with.

Jungkook really went all out.

You two spend the next few hours talking and you complimenting Jungkook on his unexpectedly good cooking skills. He just grins and watches you enjoying the food he made.

“We’ll have to cook together sometime.” He suggests, and you eagerly agree, still stuffing your face with the kimbap he made.

A quick walk around the pond using the umbrella is the last thing you do before laying on the blanket in the shade and closing your eyes.

“This is the best picnic I’ve ever been on.” You say happily, your eyes closed as you breathe in the fresh air. Jungkook looks over at you and smiles, “I’m glad.” He lies next to you.

After you play a quick game of naming the shapes of clouds, you look over and see Jungkook leaning up on his elbow and watching you with hearts in his eyes. You giggle and turn so you’re facing him.

“What are you thinking about, Koo?”

“I have something else for you. But I don’t want to give it to you yet.” He mumbles.

“Is it what you were writing in that notebook a while ago?” You ask curiously and his eyes widen in surprise. “How did you know?”

“Just a lucky guess.” You laugh and lay back down. “I don’t want to wait, I want to see it now.” You pout cutely and he laughs, scooting closer to you.

“I promise I will give it to you after I get home tomorrow.”

You’re about to ask why you have to wait until then, but you realize he wants you to know that he will for sure be coming back, so you just nod. “Sounds like a deal, Koo. You better hold up your end.”

Jungkook nods and scoots until he’s leaning over you, “I promise.” He whispers, then he leans down and kisses you gently, pulling away to look at you before going back in for another kiss. You close your eyes and try to imagine that everything is okay and tomorrow doesn’t exist.

When you hear a small sigh leave Jungkook’s lips you open your eyes to see his eyes welled up with tears. You frown and cup his face, “What’s the matter?”

Jungkook looks like he’s about to lie and say he’s fine, but he just flops down next to you and puts his hands over his face, saying nothing. You sit up and lean over him, “Talk to me, please.”

Jungkook’s voice wavers when he speaks, “It just hurts.”

“What hurts?” Now you’re really worried.

“Just-…I’m not me, and I never will be again…it hurts.”  

The despair in his voice makes a few tears slip down your cheeks, and you don’t bother wiping them away. He’s just given you a hint to what’s going on with him, and he’s right. It hurts like a bitch.

Jungkook’s time is running out.

~                     ~                     ~

“We found another safehouse.”

“What? Where?” Seokjin asks, bewildered at the comment Yoongi spews when he comes rushing into the kitchen later that night.

“It’s actually closer to the church, but it’s well hidden and no one can get in.” Yoongi is breathless as the oldest tells him to sit down and explain things to him in a clear way.

Yoongi sits in a chair and takes a few breaths before explaining, “We found an old shack that was rebuilt and completely covered in metal. There aren’t any windows and a bolt is on the door, so it can’t be opened at all from the outside when locked. We think there used to be weapons stored in there, but now it’s empty. It’s only a few miles from the church, but honestly, it’s so much safer in case things were to go badly. Trees cover it completely and no one could find it easily.”

Seokjin’s eyebrows are set in concentration as he thinks deeply on what the best decision would be. Yoongi speaks again when he sees the hesitation. “We could bring all the medical supplies and you and Sooyoung could have things ready in the chance that one of us gets injured.”

Seokjin nods slowly, agreeing that that would be a good thing to have available, but he still looks doubtful. “You’re positive that it’ll be totally safe? I’m not bringing the girls and especially not Honey into a place that could backfire on us.”

“I would bet my life that it’s safer than here,” Yoongi states firmly.

“Ok then, I guess I’ve got some packing to do.”

~                    ~                   ~

You rub the sleep from your eyes for the umpteenth time since you woke up this morning as Seokjin gives you a sympathetic look, handing you a box full of bandages. You send him a tired smile and turn to head inside the little shack.

When you reach the door, you trip over the threshold and stumble forward. A hand grabs you before you fall, and you look up to see Jungkook looking at you worriedly. He takes the box from your hands and gives you a look, “What’s going on, y/n? Are you alright?”

You nod and rub your eyes again, “I’m fine. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” Jungkook looks like he wants to reach over and touch you, wrap his arms around you, but he holds back and just sends you an understanding nod before turning to put the box on the table in the middle of the room.

You frown at how cold he’s been since this morning, it seems like he doesn’t want to touch you at all, when all you want is to wrap yourself in his arms and hold on forever. You’re sure it’s because he’s upset about having to leave later today, and he deals with things differently from you. Jungkook tends to pull away these days and you feel the need to cling to him. You need his love to feel stronger.

You blink your eyes rapidly, trying to cover your tears, then you turn away to keep helping Seokjin unpack the car. It goes on like this for another half hour; unpacking and sorting through everything, putting it all away so you can set up the little cots that were in a closet in the shack.

At one point, you overhear Jungkook and Jin fighting outside, somewhere a little way from the house.

You can’t tell what Jin is saying, but your heart breaks when you hear Jungkook shouting, “I don’t want this! I never wanted this! I wish he killed me instead. I’d rather die than keep living like this!” You think Jin says something like, “You don’t mean that.” Before you turn and go back into the shack, hating that there’s nothing you can do to help him.  

Once everything is set up for you guys to stay there tonight, you and Jin sit on the floor; exhausted. Jungkook is outside and Namjoon is in the car going over something with Hoseok. Everyone else stayed at the house, finalizing things for later.

Seokjin touches your arm gently and you look up at him, waiting for him to speak. He clears his throat, “I don’t know if this is any of my business, but I saw how Jungkook has been acting.”

You nod, a sad smile gracing your lips as you look down at your hands. Jin sighs, “He’s not happy about tonight. You know he pulls away when he gets upset, I just hope he realizes that it isn’t going to make things better. Are you okay, y/n?” He asks worriedly.

You hesitate before nodding, “I’m just so tired.”

Seokjin nods sadly, knowing that you mean so much more than not sleeping last night. This tired goes too deep to be blamed on lack of sleep, and Jin can see it clearly.

“Things should look up a little after this is over.” He says encouragingly, and you try your best to believe him, but something in the pit of your stomach tells you that he’s wrong.

The ride back home to get everyone else is silent. You sit on the far left of the back seat and Jungkook sits on the far right, looking out the window with a blank expression. You watch him quietly, knowing he’s only two feet away but feeling like you’re miles apart.

You want to ask him to speak with you, but you don’t even know what to say at this point, so you stay silent and stick to messing with your hands and listening to the older boys’ conversation.

~                       ~                        ~

“You guys ready?” Yoongi looks over everyone crowded in the tiny shack after you’re all gathered there later in the day. Honey watches curiously from one of the cots, not understanding what’s going on or why Hobi has been saying goodbye to her.

“We need to get going if we’re going to get there before the vamps.” Namjoon says, a sad look on his face.

You say your goodbyes to everyone but Jungkook, who’s been sitting on a cot and not speaking for hours. You’re screaming at him on the inside, begging him to at least say goodbye before he leaves. You’re not sure what this day is going to hold, and that makes you sick with fear. When Jungkook is like this, it makes it even worse.

When Jungkook stands up and moves to the door you’re hopeful for a minute that he might be coming to speak with you, but then he passes you by and leaves out the front door, not a single word spoken. Everyone follows the small group outside, waving as they climb into the blue van. You can’t stand to see Jungkook ignore you anymore, so you silently wish him luck and turn to go inside before the car drives away. But before you can get very far, a grip on your arm pulls you back and you feel strong arms encase you gently.

Your heart aches painfully as you turn and bury your face into Jungkook’s chest. He tucks his head in your neck, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He keeps repeating himself, and you’re not even sure if he’s just talking about giving you the cold shoulder today or if there’s something else on his mind.

“You promised to give me my present when you get back. Don’t break your promise.” You cry into his chest, feeling his arms tighten around you as he nods. Jungkook pulls away enough to look at your face, then he leans down and kisses you, pulling away before kissing you again. He keeps pecking your lips until you giggle. Only then does he pull away for the last time and smile at you, “Stay safe, little flower.”

“You too, Koo.”

“I will…I love you.” Jungkook whispers, feeling bad for not saying it earlier. You smile, warming his chest, “I love you, too.”

When Yoongi calls to Jungkook to hurry up, he frowns, then he kisses your lips once more. “See you later, baby.”

You wave to him as he climbs into the car and shuts the door, then you watch the car drive away with a sinking feeling in your stomach, sensing that something is terribly wrong.

~                          ~                            ~

It’s been a few hours since they left, and you’re sitting in the same spot on the floor, trying to concentrate on the game that you and Honey have been playing. You made little dolls out of pinecones and a few of Jin’s bandages for clothes, and Honey has been having the time of her life, finally being distracted from the fact that Hoseok is gone. The little girl had cried for a good hour when they first left, asking where ‘good boy Hobi’ went.

She’s content now, with her pinecone doll and munching on a carrot that Seokjin gave her. Yuri comes over and takes the make-shift doll out of your hand gently, telling you to go and get some fresh air while she plays with Honey. You get up and step outside, finding Seokjin sitting outside the door, his brows furrowed as he stares into the forest.

You look at the tire tracks from a few hours earlier and bite your bottom lip.

“How far is the church?” You ask suddenly, surprising Jin. He turns and looks at you, “It’s about nine kilometers from here, why?” Then he squints at you in suspicion.

“Y/n, no.” He looks at you in disbelief.

You look back at him, “I feel like something is wrong.”

“You can’t, y/n. It’s going to be dangerous, yes. But there will be a lot of Hunters to fight alongside the boys. There’s nothing that you can do to make it better.” The tone of his voice is firm and full of worry. You nod reluctantly, knowing he’s right.

Jin pats the ground next to him, signaling for you to take a seat. You sit down and will your tears not to overflow.

“They’ll be okay.”

You’re not sure if Seokjin is trying to convince you or himself, but you don’t think it’s working either way.

You sit in silence until Seokjin announces that he’s going inside. You tell him you’re going to be out here for a while, so he agrees to come and check on you in a while if you don’t come in eventually. You look back at the forest, your mind spinning with anxiety. The sky has dark clouds starting to close in and the sun is going to start setting soon.

You wonder how long it’s going to take, and if it’ll be easier or harder than they anticipated. Your brain won’t stop going around in circles. After a while, you stand up and look back at the door. It’s closed and everyone is still inside.

Don’t be stupid, y/n.

You bite your lip, puffing out an anxious breath.

What do I do?

Not whatever you’re thinking, that’s for sure.

Before you even have time to think about it clearly, your feet are taking off, following the tracks of the car as you run as fast as you can.

~                             ~                             ~

An asthma attack started long ago, but you keep running, willing your legs to go faster and not to give up yet. A few times you slow to a jog, and then to a brisk walk before running again. The tracks of the car were fairly noticeable up until a little while ago, so you’ve just been running in the direction they last pointed, praying that they didn’t make any turns.

By the time your lungs feel like they’re dried up and shriveled and you can barely stand the thought of taking another step, you see the church in the distance, across a giant field. You breathe a sigh of relief and hurry towards it, noting how fast the sun is going down.

Soon this field will be swarmed with vampires.

That thought makes you run faster, tripping over your own two feet as you charge towards the abandoned church.

Please don’t let this be a mistake.

Please, oh please.

When you finally reach the church, you could cry from relief. The old parking lot is empty, of course they wouldn’t be parking their cars here. It’s so deadly silent that the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention. You creep towards the church door, grabbing the handle and pulling on it as hard as you can.

The door creaks open and you slip inside, almost immediately bumping into a hard back. The man you ran into turns around, his eyebrows widening at the sight of you before he smiles. “You’re just on time little lady, the sun’s going down.” When he sees the fear on your face, he furrows his brows, “You’re a Hunter, aren’t you?” He asks.

You quickly nod your head, then your stomach pinches with anxiety at his next words.

“Well, we need to go and hide now. They’ll be here any minute now.”

Fuck.

You didn’t think this through.

Why are you so reckless??

The man leads you into the main part of the church where old and broken pews line up and down the room. As you’re walking down an aisle, you whisper to the man, “Have you seen anyone named Jungkook? Or Yoongi? Maybe Namjoon?”

“Ah, Joon? Yeah He’s in the choir loft.” The man turns and points at a little loft above you at the back of the church. Your heart lifts in your chest, some luck at last!

You thank the man before hurrying towards the back again to find a way up to where the boys must be hiding. You’re impressed at how quiet hundreds of Hunters can be and how well they can hide in here. When you reach the back and see a little stairwell, you run over and start to climb the steps. Just then, the church door bangs open and you here someone laughing loudly, a sneering voice saying something about the irony of the meeting place.

Vampires.

They’re already here.

You lay flat on your stomach so they can’t see you if they turn your way, then you crawl up the stairs as quiet as you can. You reach a small door and slip through it. Right when you walk into the loft, a hand reaches out and grabs your elbow, yanking you into a tiny alcove.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” A voice whispers harshly in your ear.

Jungkook.

The vampire pulls you closer into him, his chest heaving with angry breaths. You can tell he’s pissed, but you don’t know how to explain your reasoning for why you came. Jungkook roughly pushes you behind him so that you’re pinned between him and the wall, then he looks out, checking the area before turning back to you. He’s glaring at you angrily, “I swear y/n, what the fuck are you doing?”

Taehyung’s head pops up from behind a piano that’s a few feet away and he puts a finger to his lips, telling Jungkook to be quiet. Jungkook flips him off, making Tae roll his eyes before ducking behind the piano again.

You put your mouth to Jungkook’s ear and whisper, “I was scared, something felt wrong.” Jungkook doesn’t answer you, too upset that you’re here. He wants to send you back, but he knows it’s too late now. When Namjoon stands up from behind a little pew in the choir loft and signals to Jungkook, the vampire turns to you.

“Don’t move from this spot. Please, just listen to me.” His eyes have softened, and you nod, feeling guilty for becoming a burden in this situation. You just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Jungkook gently pushes you to the ground to sit in the hidden alcove, dragging his fingers through your hair comfortingly before creeping out into the open and following the others to wait by the choir loft door.

Your breath sounds so loud to you in the dead silence. Then it starts getting louder as the vampires must be filling up the church downstairs, sitting in the pews and milling around. After what feels like an eternity, you hear the little door open and the boys leave. Now you’re alone, and terrified.

Why did you come?

It was just stupid worry, nothing serious.

You hate that you made such a rash decision.

Then, as if a bomb suddenly went off, the entire place is in an uproar. Screams pierce the air instantly when the fighting begins, and you push yourself further into the wall. The Hunters really must have taken the vampires by surprise.

You clasp your hands and close your eyes, hoping for it to be over as soon as possible. Jungkook told you that there were hundreds of Hunters, and if the plan worked, most of the vampires should be here, which means hundreds of vampires too.

Please, please, please.

“Y/n?”

Your eyes pop open at the sound of his voice and your head shoots up to see Seungwook standing above you.

What the fuck is he doing here?

“Seungwook, why are you-“

“Y/n, I’m so glad you’re okay.” Seungwook kneels down next to you, smiling broadly. The commotion downstairs hasn’t subsided, but he doesn’t seem to notice it. “So, you decided to join the Hunters? I’m glad. You made the right choice.”

“What-…no, I-“

Then the door to the choir loft bursts open and people start swarming in. Vampires and men, practically clawing at each other at this point, some trying to run and others giving chase. Seungwook drags you to your feet and screams at you to run. Then he turns and starts firing his gun, the noise deafening as he hits every single vampire he aims at without missing a beat.

You take off, pushing through the frantic crowd and running down the stairs, tripping on the last step and sprawling onto the floor. You wince and try to stand up, only to be grabbed by a random Hunter and yanked to your feet.

He pushes you away from him roughly and you start running again, not sure where to go.

“Y/n! Y/n!”

You turn at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, seeing his eyes wide with fear that you’re in the throng of the fight. He’s pushing past men and vampires, struggling to get to you. When he reaches you, he grips your arm harshly, dragging you into the main church hall and sprinting down the aisles of pews, towards a back door.

Jungkook throws the door open and shoves you out into the cold night air, where still more vampires and Hunters fight desperately for their lives. “Come on!” He shouts over the noise of the fighting, still dragging you behind him. You see an old barn up ahead and you can tell that’s where Jungkook is heading.

When you make it inside, there are still more vampires and Hunters; it’s never ending. Jungkook curses loudly, not having much of a choice now but to stay here. He shoves you behind him right when a vampire lunges for you. Jungkook meets him halfway, wrestling with the stocky vampire for a minute before he snaps its neck, then plunges a silver knife into its neck and shoves the limp body to the floor.

Your heart is racing in your chest, not knowing what to do. That’s when you see Seungwook run into the barn, and when he notices Jungkook with you, his gaze turns murderous, making your stomach sink to the floor.

You never really had great plans organized ahead of time. This time; you don’t have to. The second you see Seungwook raise his gun and aim, you know his target is Jungkook.

You know that if that silver bullet hits his heart, he’ll die in under a minute.

You know all of that…and you know what you’re going to do.

Everything slows down, the screams, slashing and clashing of metal on metal, as vampires and humans fight with everything in them, become muted background static. It feels like you’re moving through syrup when you turn your head to see Jungkook’s back facing you; having shoved you behind him to keep you where he knows you’re safe. Your head turns back to the other side, slowly, inch by inch and you see your old friend again. He cocks his gun, shifts a bit to ensure he keeps his record of never missing, clean. His finger pulls the trigger torturously slow. You freeze in your spot, fear planting a seed in your heart and causing you to hesitate.

Then the battle is gone, all the blood and terrorized screams come to a pause while different images flash before your eyes:

Jungkook; crying silently on the couch before you find him. He looks up and you see the tear streaks, his deep red eyes reflecting pain and regret. “Jungkook-“ you breathe out before he cuts you off. “Y/n, I don’t want this. Y/n, I want to be a human again. I don’t want to die a monster.”

“Jungkook, you won’t die, and you’re not a monster.”

You blink in shock at the sudden memory as another pushes its way into your mind.

Lying in Jungkook’s bed with him after he refused to drink blood and collapsed. Jungkook’s arms encircle you as he whispers, “I’m too far gone if I don’t do this. For all I know, I’m too far gone anyway.” His voice cracks and you feel a tear slip down your cheek at his words. “But I need to do this, because if I die…I don’t want to die a monster.”

Your vision comes back, but you still hear his voice in your head, ringing and bouncing throughout your mind as the voices of the others join in.

“I don’t want this! I never wanted this! I wish he killed me instead. I would rather die than keep living like this!”

“P-please stay with me, y/n. I’m scared to be alone.”

“The vampire had him for too long, none of his old self is left.”

“I have to believe that he’s still in there somewhere, I have to.”

“When you’re with me. I feel human again.”

“Jungkook turned because he came back to save me, and now he’s worse off than the rest of us. It isn’t fair.”

“I hate everything that I am.”

“I’m not me, and I never will be again. It hurts.”

“Jungkook was always the shy one, but he had the biggest heart.”

“I don’t want to die a monster.”

“I don’t want to die a monster.”

One last vision clouds your sight as you stand frozen in your place.

The thunder sounds outside the abandoned hospital and your body trembles, fear coursing through you. Jungkook holds you in his lap, hugging you tightly.

“I’ve got you, little flower…don’t worry…don’t be scared, I love you.”

“I don’t want to die a monster...”

You won’t…

I’m not scared anymore, Kookie.

“I love you too, Jungkook.” With those words tumbling from your lips, you throw yourself forward, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist and holding on for dear life. 

Sorry Seungwook, not this time. 

Before his brain can register why you’ve attached yourself to him so desperately, a loud shot rings out and Jungkook’s stomach lurches when he feels your arms tighten around him.

Jungkook looks down and sees your small hands clutching to the front of his shirt, knuckles white. He stares at them for a moment, shock still coursing through his body, before he turns and catches you when you start to fall.

____________________________________

a/n: ...

tag list: @jjungkook99 @ditttiii @rubinora @xxxanimangxxx @fekitza @nikikookie @karissassirak @jkhey97 @squidyelmosquidbutt @howbizarre @adelina1299 @krystle1990 @your-best-behaviour @lettersforjoon @hopeworld-baseline @elliegrace1999tvd @jeonjungkookismyfuture

[secndlife]

noooooooo i swore i wrote smth out agshdkdkf--

WAIT. PAUSE. I REMEMBER. I WAS WRITING YOUR ASK ON MY PHONE AND THEN THE APP CRASHED HAHAHAHAHA (fml)

well, anyways, fave goses are don't lie series, but also for some reason, the ad genius one was so funny to me??? the playground one is good too tho 😭 their little skit where they brag to each other!? IT SENDS

also your song selections??? *CHEFS KISS*

okay there was a new mission, so here we go:

first of all, fire sign supremacy baby 😤 on a completely unrelated note, i saw your sims(?) layout for the mmf couple. and i lost it when you pointed out hoshi v mc's set up LOL the laptop!? plz i was cackling!!!!!

anyways, new mission time, so here are some semi-random questions :D

1. what are your top 5 fav svt choreos?

2. kiss marry kill: jeonghan soonyoung seungcheol

3. would you rather go into a tiger's den w soonyoung? or plant rice all day in a paddy w vernon?

4. if you could cast svt in a movie, which movie would you cast them in and what roles would they play? (doesn't have to be all 13 members!)

forgot to sign off again (i am not good at this anon thing LOL)

- 🍳

HIIIII BUB pls tumblr is acting out it's just so bad i've been writing my asks for my anon somewhere else then i just paste it bc it saves the trouble!

ok lemme add a cut hehe

don't lie goses are superior !!! soonyoung on the second one pls he is CRAZY I CANNOT!!!!!!!! i haven't watched ad genius yet im so late on goses 😢😢😢 maybe i'll find some time this weekend! AND YES THE PLAYGROUND ONE I LOVE IT SO MUCH especially bc they all bully mingyu and i think that's so funny even tho i feel bad for him aksdakjfsjfk

YES FIRE SIGN SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥 we're simply the best

YES IT'S A SIMS LAYOUT i'm so happy you saw it when doki and i were like done with it i couldn't stop staring and laughing because it's just SO FUCKING FUNNY like mc has a legit grown up set up like plants and candles and a laptop and an extra monitor and all that shit. and then. soonyoung. literally just the laptop and A TOY!!!!! and the rug (which was a gift from mc hehe). like i think it captures them soososososo well aksdajkdashakjfh it's not pretty but it's literally them and i loved everything about it and sorry for the rant i was just so excited about that layout asjdjakaksd

OK LET'S GET IT

for choreos

1. falling flower: who does it like her? no one. absolutely amazing. breathtaking. unbelievable.

2. home: ok i'm probably being biased but the door thingies are just so good to me and it just makes my heart so warm

3. thanks: THE CHOREO FOR JEONGHAN'S FIRST PART i think that's just so pretty and well put together

4. call call call: POWERFUL QUEEN idk it just makes me hyped and i love everything about it!!!!!

5. don't wanna cry: there's something about how idk gentle? and sensitive? and yet so poweful this chore is to me and urgh!!!!

ok kiss marry kill this was HARD bc if i'm being biased it's easy but if i take everything into account like HOW WELL we would get along then it gets hard

bc like cheol is #1 husband material out of all these BUT we would fight way too much. and soonyoung has the most kissable lips. so i got torn but

kiss: cheol (c'mon sir let's make out in the closet of a frat party)

marry: soonyoung (i can't we would have too much fun and we're really a good match for each other cof cof mmf)

kill: jeonghan (my enemy, are we surprised ????)

ok the tiger den x rice planting. THE THING IS ! none of these are too appealing for me askdjakshjad like the den is so fucking scary and soonyoung would be too excited so he'd just leave me scared and alone ! and rice planting is not my vibe at all i'm like The city girl aksdasdajdh so this was actually hard. but let's go with rice planting with vernon bc he's fun and it wouldn't be so bad

LASTLY THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!! and it tingles my writer senses ! ok so i'm not gonna do all just the ones that speak to me the most:

cheol would be great as the leading man for an action comedy movie? kinda like killers? dunno if you had watched it but it has the athetic side that he can deliver and also the romantic comedy side

jeonghan for me suits a movie like made of honor? this "i'm too good for a relationship vibe but then i fall in love with my best friend and she's about to get married fuckkkkkk". i think this dynamic is great for him. or also anything that would go for e2l KAJDAKDHADKJH

joshua can cast literally any movie he is so idk shapeable? but i mostly see him as mc's best friend? like literally the best of friends

jihoon 10/10 leading a musical. or maybe a role like kelsey in hsm? AKKLAJSDKADJ

seokmin pls go for a romantic comedy and be the cute charming neighbor that gets the girl in the end

mingyu HE CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE NO RESERVATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! god i love that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minghao maybe some new indie stuff like those b&w movies that have a very deep and substantial plot and that talk about darker things in life

ok yeah that's my take it's 10 am so maybe my brain isn't working the best yet BUT!!! pls share your thoughts who would you cast also your favorite choreos !!!

oh and i always forget about signing off too askdjakjdhs twins once again !!

[skaashis]

hunger. 

➤ you are miya osamu

wc: 2.7k 

warnings: food, op is hungry, miya osamu centric, manga & anime spoilers

note: I'm 1-2 days late to the funeral/party but pls accept this really short miya osamu character study (kind of. barely. There was hardly any studying as i’ve allowed the spirit of writing take hold of my hands for a solid two hours.) as my elegy/offering to haikyuu season 4’s finale and the 40 tabs of poetry & fics that crashed on me earlier this evening. 

You are Miya Osamu, seven years old, and eating in the new ramen restaurant that just opened up for dinner. The place was apparently highly-anticipated as it’s apparently the first Hyogo Branch for an infamous ramen chain that's apparently rated with two Michelin stars. The interior is traditional and neat. The walls, floor, and furniture are of finished wood in varying shades. The staff look old, the chefs look older. You, Atsumu, Pa, and Ma are seated with menus and gurgling stomachs, and walk out with takeout. Hands chained together, you all walk towards the parking lot and Ma lets out a squeal of satisfaction saying, “that was real good wasn't it, Atsumu, Osamu?” 

Atsumu being the dimwit brat he is, nods viciously as if his eyes aren't already drooping as a sign of an incoming food coma. He proceeds to say he’s reaaaaaaaal full! And how he really liked how soft the noodles were and how rich the broth was and how soft the noodles were. Ma hums in a smile then looks down to face you, asking you for your own opinion. You only shrug and say, “I’m full. Just not satisfied” 

Ma looks at you, mortified. Pa guffaws his lungs out and manages to wheeze out how you better be thankful that you’re out of the restaurant's vicinity for you might have gotten your first lawsuit at seven! You don't completely understand what he means but knows it's something bad. In the car ride back home, you stare out the window and wonder why. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and think that Aran Ojiro is hella cool. He’s got a hella cool name, hella cool physique, and hella cool lunch he brings to school one day. They’re pancakes. Not really the ideal lunch meal, but hella cool either way because they’re nop ordinary pancakes. They’re corn pancakes, except, as Tsumu (his new name that you both proclaimed post-meeting Aran-kun) says after taking a bite, there’s no corn in it. It just tastes like corn. You pull out your own plastic chopsticks from your bento to take a taste as Aran explains. He says there’s something his mom puts that called ‘cornmeal’. Before you could take a piece, Aran halts you and shuffles for something in his lunchbag, only to pull out a mini tupperware of freshly chopped green onions. With glimmering eyes, he recommends that you try it out with the green onions garnished above before you take a bite. You nod, take his advice, and your mouth explodes with colors. It’s beyond sweet or savory or spicy or umami. Pancakes have always been either flat or fluffy alone, never so interesting and flavorful until now. 

Ma picks you and Tsumu up later that day and you ask her to buy some cornmeal and extra green onions the next time she goes to the market to buy groceries. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and it's New Year’s. You’re also yelling at Tsumu too keep it up, who in return, is also yelling at you to keep it up. Ojiisan is chortling in endearment, Obaasan is cackling her lungs out. When the Mochi is finally done, you and Tsumu exchange glares with your arms folded in a huff. Tsumu mutters how you, Samu, is so stupid and dumb and slow, when you know for a fact that HE’s the one who’s stupid and dumb and slow. Obaasan, being the ever observant granny she is, hitches a brow teasingly and asks if her precious grandsons have changed their precious names into something else. You and (a)Tsumu splutter up a string of apologies and excuses, only for her to cackle once again, this time simultaneously hitting you both on the back as she does so. Ojiisan is the one to tell your Obaasan to calm down now as he distributes the mochi. 

Obaasan smiles with the softening of her eyes after taking a bite of the mochi and says it's good. Both your and (a)Tsumu’s hearts swell in pride. She then smiles with her dentures flashed in a wide, cheshire grin, adding how it could’ve used a little more oomph! She says it’s good because food is always good when you’re happy. And you’re happy when you make decisions for yourselves. And when you’re making decisions for yourself, you’re supposed to make a decision that you think will make you happy. You and Tsumu nod while reaching out for your own mochi and she’s right, it’s too soft. 

But you think, huh. It does taste a lot better. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and firmly believe your brother is a curse. Or perhaps it’s the other way around. You’re the curse. Ma never told you who’s older or younger, and probably (likely.) (definitely.) for the best. Though, you’re also one half of the newly infamous Miya Twins™ (synonymous with: chaos incarnate) who have recently shaken the ground of the volleyball world. The other half of the Miya Twins™ is Atsumu, who puked in the bus before the first game in your first nationals that no one, everyone, would have expected you’d win. Of course, you only reach the semi-finals, but that alone is a feat in itself. Still, on the bus ride back to Hyogo, while your eyes aren’t swelling with tears anymore, they’re mapped with veins and your heart’s the one doing the swelling, but with distraught and a promise to give it your all until the very end as one half of the Miya Twins™. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and the team that stands before you across the net is Karasuno. Whom no one, everyone, would have expected would come this far. They’re an amalgamation of rookies, geniuses, and straight up monsters. They’re an odd bunch but so is your team. You’re both standing in the court, in Tokyo, match being ingrained into the minds of every person watching whether live or through National Television that'll either last forever for them to talk to their grandkids about or just fleet away the next day. Either way, the memory of such alone is proof that they’ve come this far. So are the jerseys being drenched in sweat, bruises blooming on their forearms, and the muscles being more and more conditioned as each three centimeters of a second passes by. 

“Hey ‘samu? I’m startin’ to feel hungry.”

“Me too, ‘tsumu.”

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu, scarfing down on the third best gyudon you’ve had in your life. It’s served in the Tokyo branch of a well known gyudon chain and only the third best ‘cuz Ma’s is and will always be the best, and yours will be the second best because you’re seventeen and self-proclaimed one hell of a home cook. It’s third best probably because of the garnish or the beef’s quality or how well-cooked the rice is. Or the fact that you’re eating it right after a loss. Food is always better when it's used as comfort or a coping mechanism. If it’s decent and you’re feeling like shit, your brain always registers it as the best thing in the world for at least the next few days. But you’re smarter than Gin who’s ordering his third bowl because it's the best gyudon he’s ever had in his life. But also, food is always better when you’re happy, when you make a decision for yourself that you deem would make you happy. You’re not happy, but you’ve decided that you’re gonna be the junior Kita-san’s forever gonna brag about. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and practice the next day is grueling. Even fiercer and vicious than the already fierce and vicious practices your body had been accustomed to pre-nationals. Not completely by coach’s order, rather by the hunger born as an aftermath from yesterday's events. It’s also a water break. The mere three minutes your body is given to repair its own muscles before another set of serves. Riseki mentions how yesterday, Kita went on another one of his strange speeches in the midst of the match. He reiterates how Kita believed everyone on court were monsters and all, that's really the bare minimum Riseki’s pea brain, in comparison to Kita-san’s argentinosaurus of a brain, was able to absorb. You nod and hum in acknowledgement, after all, you thought the same too at one point of the match. But now- 

Your gaze shifts over to ‘tsumu who’s across the gym and trying to create a heimlich by punching his chest. God knows what he’s choked himself up on again this time. 

-your face twists into nonchalance. Even from the other side of the gym, you feel tsumu giving you the stink eye as Aran’s obligatorily assisting him. It's probably the twin senses. The guy’s no monster. Even if he was, monsters are supposed to be terrifying. Like the ones scaring you from under your bed. Or crawling up from a well and out of the TV screen. Or dipping fingers along with a french fry into a ramekin of ketchup in a team outing, like what Tsumu doe— Ah. 

(Later that night, he does it again. He’s no monster, just a stupid fuckin idiot.) 

(A disgrace to humanity.)

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu, it’s the week after the last Spring High National Tournament, 1AM, and you should be asleep. Instead, you’re googling: what the fuck do retired athletes do when they’re retired. Your back isn’t aching and you dont smell funny yet, but you’re a teenager and tired and your brain whirrs in the strangest of times. The search results are blurry as like does a black hole, sleep succumbs and swallows you into itself. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu, holding your brother in a headlock. The catalyst to the impromptu wrestling match in the gym was you admitting to Atsumu that you’re no longer playing volleyball after highschool. Some delusional part of yourself hoped for some kind of peaceful talk. Y’know, with puffy gowns and smiles and chamomile tea. But Tsumu’s childish and you’re apparently a FUCKIN’ [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HORSE-CRAP-LOOKIN’ [REDACTED] BITCHASS [REDACTED] [REDACTED] SHITTY SCRUB. As per usual, you throw each other, yells (Communication between the Miya Twins™ was either inarticulate yelling or twin telepathy alone and nothing in between.), and punches around. There’s no real winner or loser in your quarrels as either Ma’, the coach, or Kita-san is always quick to end it. This time, when Tsumu yells at you that when you’re in your deathbeds, he’s gonna say that lived a happier life, you grin fierce, proud, in pain, and attempt to keep tears from streaming down your eyes. There’s no winner or loser to this fight as it doesn’t, and will never end until you’re on your deathbeds trying to deem who lived a happier life. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu, sweating profoundly, and the touch of the ball your brother set to you barely quarter a second ago is faint. The Twin Quick Attack, Minus Tempo. He gives you a look that says “are ya still thinkin’ about quittin’?” You slam the ball down along with returning a look that says “fuck yeah.” The ball creates a deafening echo as it ricochets off the ground. 2014 Spring High National Tournament: Inarizaki High School vs Karasuno High School (2:1)

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu, swearing you’re about to go blind because of the continuous flashes of cameras being sent your way in your graduation. Ma’ and Pa’ are in tears, so are a few of your classmates and teammates and juniors. Some people say that they wished highschool would never end but that’s a load of bullshit. Highschool sucked. Calculus sucked. Everyone many Some people sucked. ‘Tsumu definitely sucked. Playing volleyball— didn’t suck. It never sucked. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and adult-ing sucks. Taxes, landlords, income— Never have been fond of economics and likely never will. They said that when you become an adult, you’re finally gonna be thrusted into the world of freedom and happiness. Freedom is for everyone, children and adults alike. Happiness on the other hand, is temporary and reserved for times like a good lunch, and only permanent for people swimming in bills and coins and gucci. You? You’re just some guy making equilateral riceballs for a living. The food industry is always a gamble. To make a name for yourself, you’ve gotta keep thriving. To keep thriving you require consistency in improvement. That means more branches, more flavors, and more investment while making sure the quality never drops. It's difficult and mentally taxing. It also makes the whirring of the ceiling fan seem louder than it should be, making you feel smaller, more alone, than you should feel. You take another piece of manchego and narrow your eyes into the list of potential new flavors you could sell. A high-pitched DING! from your phone causes you to lose the staring contest you’ve had with the sheet of paper in front of you. 

From: Kita-san 

I’ve prepared the rice for pickup. See you tomorrow, Osamu.

 You grin at the notification and text him a quick thanks. You stand up and flip the paper around in order to get read for bed. Something tells you you’ll figure it out somehow and soon. 

(you do. Spicy pickled cucumber onigiri is fresh and a well selling item in Onigiri Miya the moment its introduced.)

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and firmly believe your brother is a menace, but also a nuisance. Yet here he is, likely (definitely) unaware of the splatter of soy sauce his cheek is smushed upon that you weren’t able to clean up from the former customer as he’s too immersed in his own personal venting. He’s whining on and on about how he can’t seem to perfect this new special serve he’s been working on for a while now. You’re familiar with this co called “special” serve he’s trying to pull off as it’s been the only thing he’s been texting you daily about. Because you’ve heard of it a hundred-or-so times and you were also supposed to close up ages ago, until he came waltzing in with that stupid pout and blonde hair of his. He’s a menace and nuisance but also your brother, so you offer him your own two cents and fresh onigiri. The night goes on with you both talking about Kita-san and life and the time Bokkun got his hand stuck in the pipe system back over in the MSBY dormitories. As you close up the shop and part ways, Tsumu yells at you saying he hasn’t figured out the serve yet, you yell back at him that he’ll figure it out somehow. 

(he does. he debuts the new menacing northpaw serve, entitled the “hybrid serve” the next match the MSBY have.)

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and formally meet Akaashi Keiji for the first time. You recall him as one of the setters for Fukurodani, the highschool that often appeared in lists of participatory schools in the nationals as well as the former abode of your brother’s teammate, Bokuto “Bokkun” Koutaro. The dude’s nice. Probably needs more sleep, but generally nice. Seeing him and so many other people from highschool all gather up in Sendai for the match fortifies its already well-established significance. The crowd quivers and roars in awe as the MSBY win, some of shock, others of pride, many over at the Adlers side in goodbye to the sum of money they’ve pooled into bets. You quiver and roar in a grin, proud of your brother and the incoming flock of hungry customers coming over to your stand. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Atsumu and your brother is Miya Osamu. No surprise he’s 60+ and still making those stupid equilateral riceballs of his. Probably because he’s got his life up together. Definately because he’s a FUCKIN’ [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HORSE-CRAP-LOOKIN’ [REDACTED] BITCHASS [REDACTED] [REDACTED] SHITTY SCRUB. You enter the shop and the doorway is no longer one you’d have to duck for in order to enter. The place is really neat. Sumiko-chan (16, working part time) welcomes you back and says Osamu-jiisan’s break is still in an hour or so. You wave her off saying you’re just gonna get a minced tuna and spring onion onigiris to go. She nods and tells you to wait for five minutes. You do so and in those five minutes, you watch ‘Samu smile as he’s heartily making those stupid equilateral riceballs of his out of rice and love and whatever the fuck each flavor requires. 

He’s probably happy. You're probably happier. But he’s definitely happy.

[ms-marmar]

tw: pictures of food that may or may be fear foods

but also some pro recovery shit! fuck eds!

SO TODAY I SAID

FUCK U

TO MY BRAIN N WEIRD EATING BEHVAIORS AND TOLD MYSELF IMMA EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON TODAY (or as normal) AND TRY TO LISTEN TO MY HUNGER CUES, AND IF U DONT FEEL EM, EAT A BIT ANYWAY, U PROBS NEED IT, AND IF U EAT A BIT N U KNOW UR NOT HUNGRY, TELL URSELF ITS OK

Also just a reminder to y'all food is a necessity, not a reward 💕 yalls important n beautiful

IM SORRY IM TRYING TO ADD A READ MORE LINE BUT THE FUCKING TUMBLR APP GIVES SHIT FORMATTING AND I CANT EDIT IT ON MY LAPTOP BC ITS DUMB AND SO PLEASE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING PLS SKIP OVER

I ATE HALF THIS BURGER. IT TASTED OK, NTN SPECIAL, BUT I DO LOVE KETCHUP

I ATE SOME OF MY FAVORITE FISH + SOME RICE N MY LEFTOVER SPAM ONIGIRI I MADE A BIT AGO

I MADE MILK BREAD TODAY, I ATE SOME W WHIPPED CREAM N FROOT (mah favs, mango n banan n strawberry ✨)

I MADE THESE STRANGE LOOKING CHOCOLATE DONUTS TWO DAYS AGO, I ATE ONE LEFTOVER

AND TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I RLLY HAD ANY FOOD FROM OUTSIDE SO FUCK YEAH I GOT BOBA. COCONUT STRAWBERRY WUZ THE SHIT TODAY. tho I wish there were better boba places in my area, but this place isn't too bad!

so yeah hopefully you take this as some positivity ✨ did I feel great? Nope. Deep down I know I'm scared of recovery, even though I know something is wrong and I need to fix it. Ive always been scared that recovery = "letting myself go." And the fact that I gained weight during my remission period just confirmed it. But I didn't consider all the other factors going on in my life that contributed to it. Ive been refusing even just trying to believe that where I'm at with my weight is okay. Constantly I feel like I do and dont deserve to feel like I'm fat. There's too much to consider in this mess. But what i do knownis thag I don't want to tell others get better when even I'm not putting that effort to get better myself. We all know its a lot of work and it's exhausting, but we can't give up. I've been keeping secrets from the ppl closest to me again and last time it happened I rlly hurt them. Hopefully I'll try to improve so that I don't keep spiraling down like I have in the past and repeat cycles of remission/relapse. I'm lucky enough to have people support me, and I take them for granted and refuse to reach out because I know that im supposed to "get better" when that's the last thing I wanna do. Why do I cling on so desperately to something i both love and hate, and all it does is make me suffer. I pray that you have others you can rely on, have resources available, etc. because you deserve and need help. And if you got nobody else to turn to Im always here to listen.

sorry this was long I went on a rant ahaha I could probs say more or edit this but I'm too lazy

i don't mean to offend anyone, all our experiences r v different and there’s no easy solution to any of the things we face. I wish there were better ways and answers. But first we must be open to them. I know that some day we'll all eventually feel okay 💕 and I can't wait :)

[rasoir-national]

@ghostplantss

Garcin & Ines & Estelle were such an odd and amazingly dysfunctional relationship!!! i love it so much i'm so curious what you think of them? aaa how did the mosquito tablet thingies taste! i'm so curious! i'm so glad you're ok they sound a bit poisonous pls pls do tell abt the 5 other stories you were choosing between only if you'd like? 

Ok the Garcin & Ines & Estelle relationship holds a very strange place for me. See, when it comes to lgbt matters, I had what I refer to an education by omission : there was no doubt we were taught general values of diversity and tolerance, but we weren’t actually taught anything about lgbt matters. No joke, I realized it was possible not to be straight in high school, not because I rejected the idea, but because... no one had bothered explaining to me that this was a possibility. So, in the rare occasions in the meantime that I came in contact with lgbt narratives... My brain sort of registered it without actually registering it. Like, this was the thing that other people were. Not me.

Anyway, pretty much since birth my mother has had the habit of reciting classic theater plays to us. She has an amazing memory and she grew up listening to vinyl recordings of them by the Comédie-Française, so she knows most of Molière, Racine or Marivaux by heart. So some of those classics plays I was familiar with before I could even read. In that spirit, she recited No Exit to us when I must have been something like 8. And the relationship, both the lesbian aspect with Ines and the polyamorous aspect, stuck with me in a way I didn’t have the words to explain. And perhaps even more remarkably, it was all incidental. The play itself has nothing to do with homosexuality or polyamory, it’s a philosophical study of human relationships as a whole. Part of the relationships used as a subject just happened to not be straight. And “not straight” ? It wasn’t evil. The characters in the play, if you don’t know [spoiler warning] are in hell. They are demonstrably bad people. They tell you stories about themselves making it pretty clear they are supposed to be considered “bad”. But their sexuality is not part of that. Ines being a wlw has nothing to do with her being a “bad person”. The play does not treat her attraction to Estelle any different than Estelle’s attraction to Garcin. If anything, Ines actually comes off better than the other two characters. She’s certainly a badass, she’s smart, she’s controlled and she’s iron-willed. Furthermore, while the subject of the play is definitely people’s ability and willingness to torture each other, it doesn’t say for sure that these three people won’t manage to get better or to develop a positive, healthy relationship. It is kind of open-ended. Everyone says The Good Place is Kant fanfiction, but let’s be real : its basis is 100% taken from No Exit.

Anyway, No Exit is for me among those special stories every queer person has : queer stories they heard before they were given the tools to understand them properly or understand why they identified with them so much. You just were fascinated by them for a reason you couldn’t yet explain, before, 15 years later, it all came to make sense.

The mosquito killer thingie must not have tasted anything other than chemicals, although to be honest I really don’t remember, this was a story told to me by my mom. And yes, it’s definitely not a good idea to eat one of those, I guess I didn’t get to eat enough for it to be noticeably nocive for me. Plus, as I’m about to demonstrate, I have... a strong stomach, let’s say.

Putting this under there exceptionnally, because fair warning, some of those are pretty gross.

A non-exhaustive list of weird stuff I’ve eaten :

Out of competition aka eaten because of frenchness : escargots, veal thymus, beaf testicles, veal liver, fish ovum, pork instestine...

And now the real weird stuff :

- Paper. A whole lot of paper. My family is kind of paranoid about throwing away documents with identifying information on them (name, adress, banking info...) and so we were always told to tear them into teeny tiny bits and throw them in different trash cans of the house as kids. But that wasn’t enough for my anxious ass : what if someone was trying to piece it all together ? So I found my own solution : I’d eat it. Not the whole page, obviously, just the part with sensitive information on it. And... that’s about it. There’s not much gastronomical value to paper.

- Hair. A whole lot of hair. I’ve already explained I suffer from trichotillomania, so that’s all I’m going to say about this.

- Lice. Look, long story short, someone in elementary, school dared me to do it. It crunchy.

- Uncooked stuff. On top of the million of other things, I have a binging disorder. It’s mostly under control, but it tends to focus on eating stuff real quick without cooking them. I’m not going to make a dissertation on it here, just point out the funny aspect of it : I tend to eat raw pasta, raw rice, raw lentils (cronch), and to drink vinegar from the bottle. Surprise, all of this is extremely not good for digestion.

- Toad blood : LOOK I CAN EXPLAIN. No actually I can’t explain, I can provide context but that won’t do anything to actually explain it. So we were on holidays in Switzerland in this amazing isolated cabin with a huge garden, and there were quite a bit of toads toading around. So my sister and I did the only logical thing, we selected a god toad and started worshipping it, carrying it around the property on a stick to make other toads bow to it. At some point, an completely by accident, I hurt a toad with the end of the stick and it started bleeding. I took the little guy in my hands and so got blood on it. Which I promptly licked off. Did you know toad blood is blue ? See, royalty.

[tsuki-kirigakure]

My Top 10 Voltage Men

I had a really hard time in doing this I can't choose. 😥 I'm probably gonna shuffle this again next time I do this because there are still tons of guys I haven’t added. 😅 I also took hours in making this because Tumblr is being a btxh and won’t let me save nor post this. 😒

Thanks for the tag @mandyinwonderland ♥

10th: Riki Yanase ♡ [Love Letter from Thief X]

Riki is one of the guys I've been very addicted to.  I would spend my days (if I'm not at school) and nights reading his stories. He kinds of come out as an arrogant guy but he's really sweet and loving and passionate about the people he loves. He would always make them happy and safe and would put them and their happiness first. 

9th: Huedhaut ♡ [Star Crossed Myth]

When I first saw the summary or the preview for Hue’s story, I knew that I had to read it and I wasn’t wrong. This guy is a snarky hot and smart guy which rules the Zodiac sign Aquarius. He makes the best wines and all but he’s broken and refused to acknowledge love again after losing you, the previous goddess of fate, the love of his life. He sacrificed one of the stars in his life to make sure that you live. His sarcastic and funny comments would make you laugh, his painful past with the goddess of fate would make you cry, but his sweet and flowery words and gestures would definitely make you swoon. I swear.

8th: Ryota Mochizuki ♡ [Our Private Homeroom]

Before I played this story I had reservations about playing this game. Since I wasn't fond of teacher-student relationships and only went for student-student and teacher-teacher types, but boy did this story proved me wrong. I was practically smitten with him for being such a cutie and A MATH TEACHER. HE LOVES MATH AND SO DO I. We instantly clicked y’know? What’s better is that he’s kind to all of his students and cheers them on and just shows how damn good of a teach he is. Then he can like see and recognize your hard work and would totally cheer you on when you’re losing faith on yourself. He would also prioritize you, your dreams and your happiness above anything and would sacrifice his job that he loves and fight for you.

7th: Kyohei Rikudoh ♡ [Scandal in the Spotlight]

BBY KYO ❤ THIS GUY MAKES THE ABSOLUTE BEST FRIED RICE APPARENTLY HEHE JUST A FUN FACT. It was love at first sight with this guy. He’s the sexiest man alive I think? Well that’s true for me at least hihi. Kyohei loves to tease you and do sweet things for you. He would sacrifice everything for you and always put you and your happiness first. He loves seeing you blush and smile and make all those “cute expressions”. He would protect, care, love and cherish those important to him. He’s strict with work but that’s because Revance is really important to him. He’s hot and he knows it. He loves spending time with you especially alone times hihi 😉 He may come off as arrogant to other people but really, he’s just a handsome and easily jealous cutie pie. ❤

6th: Toma Kiriya ♡ [Irresistible Mistakes]

HERE COMES ONE OF MY SNARKIEST MOST SARCASTIC BUT LOVING AND SWEET AND UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORTIVE CUTIE. He loves sugary drinks tbh he says it gives his brain the energy it needs. He loves to work and he’s good at what he does, usually handpicked for big projects. He’s unstoppable with MC beside him hihi. He’s so cute when he blush like he’s such a cutie pie. He’s probably the best guy to have a conversation with, like literally he cracks me up every time and makes me happy every time I see his face. I’m in love hihi. WHY CAN’T TOMA EXIST IN REAL LIFE?! HE’S JUST SO PERFECT.

5th: Tsumugu Kido ♡ [Our Two Bedroom Story]

Here comes my awkwardly cute, blushes easily when he says or does something sweet or bold or when MC does the same, king of tightwads. He’s what you would call stingy but it’s just because of how hard it was for them in the past. He’s good with his work and has a “split-personality” hehe when he’s at work and at home. He loves the MC so much and knows how hard she works as well as how good she is at work but would never openly admit it in normal times. He’s such a cutie pie who loves strawberries and HIS SIBLINGS ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY, sazuku being the cute and sakura and mizuki being the pretty ones. I love his puns and jokes. He loves seeing you happy and would be happy knowing that you are. HE’S SUCH A CUTIE I SWEAR BRO.  

4th: Izaac Martin ♥ [Gossip Girl Party]

YOU GUYS, DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN KNOW OR REMEMBER GOSSIP GIRL PARTY? BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DO. THIS GAME IS STILL AND WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART AND MIND AND NOTHING CAN EVER MAKE ME FORGET THIS ESPECIALLY MY BABY IZAAC. Y’KNOW SEEING THE FAREWELL MESSAGES THEY GAVE US WAS DEFINITELY HEARTBREAKING. I WAS FREAKING CRYING THE WHOLE ASJAKDDGDSNVKDJBVUD TIMES I READ THAT MESSAGE. WHY DID VOLTAGE HAVE TO REMOVE IT FROM GOOGLE PLAY? WHY CAN’T WE JUST KEEP THEM EVEN IF THEY WON’T UPDATE IT ANYMORE? 😭💔 But okay let me just say that Izaac is my forever babe even if I hated one of his stories that led me to uninstalling the app and reinstalling it again right away hehe. He’s like perfect. He would tease you with his words but would also say and do the sweetest things. He loves you so much and knows you so well. He’ll support you in the things you wanna do and he’d be really proud of you. I love this guy so much you know and I miss him so bad 😭💔

3rd: My Forevs Inspiration and Smexiest Cool Baby, Kiyohito Shirakami ♥ [Kings of Paradise]

OMG BABY KIYO OKAY HERE IT GOES WE’RE DOWN TO MY TOP 3. Kiyo is what would seem to be cold and indifferent. He would also be considered as strict and is like a robot who constantly works and doesn’t feel or show feelings at all. That’s what I thought at first too but his harsh words are actually very sweet in his own ways because he believes in you. He doesn’t want you to be sad and wants you to regain the confidence you lost. His story has inspired me to overcome my anxiety and do my best in the things I thought I couldn’t do. He would tell MC to decide on her own and he would grade her as well as to go beyond because she can. The story doesn’t just revolve around sweet stuffs tbh it also includes growth in both Kiyo and MC and it’s one of the best y’know. Kiyo also loves it when MC is being honest with him and is greedy with him as well. His ways have truly changed MC and you guys his story is really meaningful. And bro age doesn’t really matter here. I even forgot that Kiyo is younger than MC. hihi. 

2nd: My Precious Hot Ninja, Saizo Kirigakure ♥ [Samurai Love Ballad Party]

OKAY LAST TWO WOHOO HERE COMES MY BABE SAIZO!!!!! Okay so this guy is one of the best. He freaking write smuts HAHAHAHAHAHA kidding aside you guys saizo would seem like a cold, heartless killing machine but that’s because he was trained to be like that. He was trained in Iga to be a fearless killing machine that would carry out missions without feeling anything. But HAVE YOU GUYS EVER READ HIS POVS?!?!?!?! BRO THAT IS NOT HOW AN EMOTIONLESS KILLING MACHINE IS BRO HE’S SO SWEET AND PRECIOUS AND WOULD GIVE AWAY HIS LIFE FOR MC EVEN IF OFC WE DON’T WANT THAT! I WOULD NEVER WANT TO SEE MY BABY DIE LIKE I WOULD CRY AND MY WORLD WOULD STOP SPINNING AGAIN @voltageparty pls don’t do anything stupid. And so Saizo loves his little lady so much even if he doesn’t say it often but he would let you feel it. Your smile would brighten up his day and maybe even his life. You’re the only reason he wants to live because he wants to go home to you. He always wants you to be safe and happy. Baby ninja, always remember that the moon is beautiful. ❤

1st and would probably be always my first, the King, Eisuke Ichinomiya ♥ [Kissed by The Baddest Bidder]

AND HERE WE ARE TO MY FOREVER BABE EVER SINCE IT WAS RELEASED. Yes you read it right, I just fell in love with him before the game was released because at that time I thought that game was too mature for my age when I based it off their trailer. But I still tried it hehe Eisuke is known as the “King”. He owns the Tres Spades Hotel and the head of the Ichinomiya Group. He’s aloof, bossy and isn’t the type to be full on honest but he has a kind heart. He’s DEFINITELY HANDSOME and is a great leader and businessman. Despite his heartless facade, women would always surround him and beg for his attention even if he wouldn’t pay attention to them. He’s easy to misunderstand for being cruel and ruthless, but don’t be fooled, he’s doing things for a good reason.During his first season tho, he thought of you as a pawn, just something that he owns to be used, but the character development after passing through that phase was definitely tear-jerking and heart melting, all in a good way of course.  Another thing that I love about Eisuke is how his stories understands and helps solving one of the social problems in the world, shaming people, both physically, emotionally and also mentally. It has helped not only me, but many other people out there to love and accept who they are and that they don’t need to change and just be themselves. I’m really glad that I got to meet and fall in love with Eisuke for this long. He has and will always have a special place in my heart. The moon is beautiful, Eisuke and it will always be. ❤

I'm still wondering why people hate Eisuke like why

[heesgf]

studying w/ lee byounggon!

hello cutest ppl of the world!!! here is a present for u <3 and pls read my scenario for bad boy gon!! or soft blurb gon

studying w/ lee byounggon                                                                                    (a bad idea)

OK SO you and byounggon have AP biology together, and somehow, by the grace of GOd himself, you’ve made it to the end of the year

It’s time for ur final exam!!! yay!!  because u can finally peace TF out of that class, but aww :’(( bc you have a final exam with 100 multiple choice  and 10 written questions 😔

some of ur ap bio shenanigans have included:

byounggon reading multiple questions OUT LOUD while you are writing the test and he literally doesn’t even notice

Like he just does it so naturally??? you’ll be side eyeing him through the divider that separates your desks

in your head, you’ll be like “AHEMMMM at LEAST read out the answers too damn ...”

He does not read out the answers :/

even tho it can be kind of off-putting, his voice is rlly deep and soothing!!!! so honestly it kind of helps your test anxiety

......but u will never admit that... he would have too much power

you and byounggon once made an animal cell out of rice krispy treats & candy

you guys left the project to the very last minute because collectively u have one brain cell

U guys started building but then u ate so much candy, you ended up puking🤮

After u had released the #barf, you and byounggon choose to cuddle up on the couch and u just chill for a couple hours

Somehow u convinced him to watch bird box????? He was DYING!!!

But it’s ok bc ur the Best Significant Other Ever and you used imdb to research every possible death scene!! and u gave him a solid 3 second warning every time

ONE TIME u were just a little bit off and he watched something a lil gruesome

U lost ur abiliity to hear from the scream that he released

“im never watching a movie with you AGAIN!”

“i said i was SORRY sodfjsdiofjsdio”

He complained for so long but then you promised you’d make it up to him with some kisses and he was like.... “hehehe ok im down”

a whole baby!!!!!

Its around 11pm now!! You and gon are cuddling on the couch, and it’s so warm, and cute, and wholesome <333

Ur running ur fingers through his soft hair and playing with his fingers; he’s just calmly humming and loving every minute of this

u start to close ur eyes and u feel kinda sleepy, so you lay your head on byounggon’s chest and just nestle in

you’re about to say “goodnight chief” and call it a night

But something feels off?

u suddenly shoot TF up and your mind is racing and ur like “thE PROJECT  !!”, real movie type shit

Ur trying not to LOSE UR MIND while byounggon is just snoring away... his arms are wrapped so tightly around u, and ur mind is still 23% asleep

honestly... maybe u should just lean back into his chest and fall asleep....

But then ur guilt complex is like ‘NO the pROJECT’

U want to wake him up but Byounggon: has left the chat

You start poking at his cheek erratically, and when he FINALLY wakes up, he’s all mumbley and tired and CUTE

U break the tragic news to him and now you’re both contemplating mental breakdowns

For the next 6 hours you guys are DEDICATED to this project

U show up to school the next morning with ur masterpiece:

(yall i rlly made that shit, respect me)

your eyes are SO unbelievably red, and for some reason, ur hair has marshmallow fluff in it????? u have to convince byounggon not to eat that shit on four separate occasions

“It looks yummy”

“PLS restrain urself”

So ur looking a little bit busted, but still cute, bc ur BEAUTIFUL nd sexy

SOMEHOW byounggon still looks perfect???? He looks like he’s just been rejuvenated by 10 hours of sleep; his skin is glowing and his eyes are twinkling... #unfair

when u guys show up to class, your teacher is sO happy with your project!!!!

but then she takes one look at you and she’s like, “(y/n) can i talk to you for a minute pls?”

“ uhh yeah ok, sure!!”

U think she’s about to tell you that she’s so proud of you both for coming up with such a creative idea, and for doing such a good job with the materials u used, but then she’s like:

“(y/n) ur eyes are so red”

ur kinda :’((( bc u think she’s about to scold you for pulling an allnighter...she’s a mama bear

“Pls stop smoking before class it’s rlly inappropriate”

Ur mouth is dropped WIDE open and byounggon is in the corner, snickering the sleep deprivation away: u want to kILL HIM!

Honestly, ur so shook, u kinda just stand there in silence while your teacher just shakes her head and does one of those “tsk tsk tsk” things and walks away

When u go back to ur desk, byounggon is like, “yea (y/n), u should rlly stop smoking at school, it’s super rude and honestly kind of distract-”

The look u give him makes him shut UP IMMEDIATELY

but then he just cranes his long arms around ur waist and smiles into the crook of ur neck and he’s like: “baby im sorry i love u”

So wholesome :’))))

Ur choked up?? And after all that work, a little bit delirious? U lean back into him and tilt ur head to the side so he can kiss u

when he pulls away he gives u this rlly uneven smirk

“even if u smoke before class”

“RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA [redacted]”

A couple weeks later, u guys have to do this lab on human heart rate and metabolism

bc byounggon is ur deskmate, he’s also ur lab partner (unfortunately)

Byounggon is RLLY SMART, but honestly u guys are just rlly unproductive when ur together bc u just want to. . .. hug him (relatable)

For one part of the lab, somebody needs to stick their hand into ice water while the other person monitors their heart rate

Byounggon REALLY passionately wants to be the one to dunk his hand in the water tank and ur just like “lmao ok calm down”

HIS HAND HAS BEEN IN THE ICE WATER FOR THREE MINUTES

@ this point, ur concerned x 3493049304930

He’s just like: “im FINE it’s FINE, keep going”

His eyes are TWITCHING

U have to forcefully yank his hand out of the water because he literally will NOT??? why is he like this

But it’s ok bc u warmed up his hand with lots hand holding and sweet lil kisses <333333

overall, bio have been a WILD ride, but byounggon has made it so much more enjoyable,,, and u guys love each other lots,,, (y/n) and byounggon for cutest couple 2k19  😘

Okay so now for the studying!!!

byounggon kind of had to beg to get you to study with him at the library

but that’s only because every time u study with him, u dont retain SHIT, bc ur too busy drooling over his jawline

U wanted to be rlly strict and firm so you could actually be well prepared!!!! But when he started whining and hugging on you,,,, what wEre you SUppOSED to DO?!?

So NOW, u and gon are at the library

U make him sit across from u

Because the lord knows, if he’s sitting next to, he will not stop kissing ur face and u RLLY need to do some learning!!! Studious Queen

twelve minutes into mitosis and chill, byounggon is pouting and using his biology textbook as a pillow

Literally byounggon is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be a rlly messy student, but he will take one look at the textbook, and get a 96%

So ofc, he’s like... “studying... who’s she?”

He’s just staring at you

In this moment, u look SO CUTE, bc ur head is burried in your book, and ur hair is adorably messy, and ur eyebrows are scrunched together bc ur rlly focused

Ur the cutest thing he ever saw?????

“Gon,,, baby u have to stop staring at me,, i can’t concentrate”

He’s so GOOFY

“im noooooooooot”

(he totally is)

It’s been about two hours?? Byounggon took a power nap, and u reviewed everything u possibly could,,, now u just want byounggon to hum u to sleep

byounggon is POWERED UP (stream power up by red velvet)  from his nap and he’s very, very, very giddy

And a lil clingy bc u haven’t cuddled him today yet :/

He’s been saying “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” for about 8 minutes,,, u would throw ur bag of hot cheetos at him but he’s just too pretty

He’s laughing AT HIMSELF

Ur shaking ur head and laughing at him too

The librarian POPS UP out of literally nowhere?? She looks at byounggon playing candy crush on his phone and she’s like “SHHHHHHHHHH!!! young man! you are being so disrespectful! this place is for students to study! U need to leave immediately”

She’s about to point her finger at you too, but then:

“Ma’am i’ve never seen this boy in my whole life” 😜

Byounggon is Taken Aback™

He rlly can’t believe u just did that

U start laughing so hard bc PAYBACK

But his mind is just thinking.. . “top ten worst anime betrayals of all time”

The librarian is so annoyed with both of you she just turns around and mumbles something like “stupID KIDS”

U have to lug byounggon outside bc now he’s #embarrassed bc of the librarian, and #hurt because u threw him under the bus

He’s still pretending to be upset by the time u guys make it back to his house, and u have to give him all sorts of compliments to make everything okay again

“ur chin.... is straight SEXY”

“i think it’s cute that u eat bananas with sriracha”

“i, for one, like the screams you make when we watch horror movies”

THE COMPLIMENTS ARE SO STUPID BUT FOR SOME REASON HE’S BLUSHING???? blushy babyyyyy 💖

u conclude with a veryyyy sweet kiss on his lips

let’s just say... he forgives u

THE NEXT DAY!!! It’s time for ur exam omgomg :’))))))

byounggon finishes that shit in 26 minutes and somehow ends up getting a 92%

it took u a solid 48 minutes and u ended up with a nice and spicy 90%

he gets the better mark bc he’s god Lee Byounggon??? U will never understand bc he rlly doesn’t even try.... U can’t relate

But it’s ok

Because he’s the cutest thing to ever exist in the world, and even if he makes u the most unproductive person in existence, u love him more than anything <333

And he loves u bby!!!!!

the librarian, on the other, loves neither of u 😔 ......

THE END ! ! ! !

i love u all!! and thank u for ur support!! hit like if u feel bad for the librarian  😔

[smittenbyschmidt]

11 Questions Tag:

I had originally tagged @trashyforkpop when I did this just the other day, but then she retagged me in her’s to answer her 11 questions!! So, that’s what I’m doing! Thank you, lovely!! 💗

I’m not gonna tag anyone or ask any new questions haha, but yeah here it is!! :)

I’m putting this under “keep reading” because it ended up a lot longer than I thought it would be, haha.

EDIT: i went to edit something on this and accidentally deleted it, so i’m reposting it lmao. good thing I had originally written it out in my notes on my laptop lmao.... deep sigh haha.

1. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?: Lol, I am lowkey such a goodie-two-shoes??? I honestly can’t think of anything really bad that I’ve done besides maybe lie to someone to get out having to do something (but it would be like??? lying to not hang out or go somewhere I don’t feel like going). lmao

2. Tell me about your day: My day was pretty good! I had a job interview this morning, and I pretty much got the job but I’m gonna be starting off doing some different jobs before I work my way up to the supervisor position I had originally applied for. So, I’ll be working at a Nursing Home/Rehabilitation facility pretty soon!! Today has been really rainy and wet and gross out, so after I got back from my interview, I chilled for a bit. Then, my mom and I met my uncle and grandmother at a farm to go and buy plants to put in our backyard garden (which was kinda gross because again… it’s pouring outside, but everything was in green houses, which was nice). I had a yummy lunch that I made (it was kinda like homemade ramen, but i used rice noodles instead because I’m on a gluten free diet right now). Now, I’m chilling again, and cleaning up around the house, before my mom and I go out to dinner later tonight with my mom’s best friend. All in all, a pretty good day so far! :)

3. What is something about yourself you wish others appreciated about you more?: My ability to problem solve and think on my feet. (sometimes, I feel like people don’t listen to my suggestions?? even though they end up doing what I was going to say/did say in the end??). *insert dramatic eye rolls here*

4.  What languages can you speak?: Unfortunately, only english, fluently. I can speak a bit of Spanish, but only really enough to kind of converse. I’d love to learn more languages though! (Side note: my brother is amazing at languages, he’s a linguistics major in college right now, and has taught himself a lot of languages, so I’m kinda jealous about that).

5. Some of your favorite emojis even if they’re not commonly used: 💫🌷🤧🆗🆒⭐️🌙🤗🤷🏻‍♀️🗣 and my favorite emoji: 💖

6. A misconception you had about kpop (for example I used to think that got7′s JinYoung was an asshole cause of all the fancams where he rejected fans love but in reality he’s the softest bean): I don’t really know? I guess, for me, first impressions are pretty strong and if I see a member that seems to be kind of “cold” or “serious” with their outside appearance during performances or in interviews, I kind of think that that’s how they are. At least until I learn more about them and realize that they are all serious softies that deserve the world. :( (specifically Yongguk, Yoongi, Taeyong, and probably a bunch more hahah).

7.  Any song recommendations?: I’m gonna go down the non-kpop route, because… well, Idk why but yeah.

“Easy” by Mac Ayres

“LY4L” by Katelyn Tarver (actually, anything by Katelyn Tarver ahah: but especially “Love Me Again”, “Hate to Tell You”, “A Little More Free”, “It’s Good” & “Love Alone”)

Literally anything by LANY (they are my favorite band), but specifically: “4EVER!”, “Someone Else”, “ILYSB” (and the acoustic vers. omg), “yea, babe, no way”, “pink skies” (!!!!!!!!!!), “like you lots”, “it was love”, ect.

“Four Walls” by Broods

“Never Be Like You” by Flume

“Drive” by Glades

“Start of Time” by Gabrielle Aplin

((probs more but that’s all i can think of right now lol))

8. Brag about yourself: (I’m deadass gonna grade you like a teacher so the more the better) lol ok this is gonna be kinda awkward because I don’t really like to brag about myself???? but, here we go I guess. I am an incredibly organized and put together person. I am honestly know as the organization queen in my family, because I can literally take anything that may be messy (a closet, a room, a cabinet, a purse, files, anything tbh) and organize it. I also really enjoy organizing, so that makes it even better to me haha. I am a very patient person (tbh I’m not sure who I got it from because my mom can be so impatient lmao, and so can my dad), so I take a lot of pride in that fact? I have always been really great a bullshitting essays? Like, I can write a pretty solid essay on topics i’m not event too familiar with in a short amount of time, and get a really great grade on it. I’m also really great at writing long papers (or papers that have to have a certain number or pages or words minimum). Like, if a professor gave an assignment where we had to write a paper that had to be at least 3-4 pages long, my essay would end up being at least 7 pages (and I almost always did really well on those papers lol). Besides the fact that I may begin working in a nursing home/rehabilitation center in the diet department, I also volunteer at my local hospital. I work under one of the RD’s in the oncology department, and I have been creating handouts for cancer patients that explain the different nutrition considerations that would benefit specific types of cancers. (Like, I just completed a handout that’s made for patients with brain tumors). Umm, I’m not really one to brag about my outer appearance, but I do think I have a great style?? Like, I really love the way that I dress on a day to day basis, and though I may sometimes dress like a grandma, I’m really proud of the cute, young adult but still 22 year old, style that i have?? idk. I also really like my hair and my eyebrows?? Like, I’m super happy with my eyebrows lmao, I take a lot of pride in them??? I also think I’m a really great listener, and I take a lot of pride in being someone that people can talk to, and I always try to give my undivided attention. I also try to give the best advice that I can (I’m not the best at it, but I really try my best to help). I am also really sarcastic and kinda witty (and I can be quite funny once you get to know me), and I really like that about myself. idk, is that enough annah????

9. Do you have any “useless” knowledge?: (pls share an “useless” fact) Did you know that strawberries and raspberries aren’t actually berries, but banana’s technically are?? Strawberries and raspberries both derive from single flowers that have more than one ovary, but a true berry would derive from a single flower that has only one ovary. Technically, bananas derive from a flower with only one ovary, making them berries. Eggplants and tomatoes too.

10. The ocean or space, and why?: Well, as gorgeous as I find the ocean to be, and as long as I have lived near the ocean, I am not an ocean person. I think that the extent and the depth of what’s in the ocean is incredible and completely fascinating, and there is so much in the ocean that we have still yet to learn about, but I find outer space to be completely fascinating. Let me just say that the extent of my knowledge on either subject is very low, but I think find space to be so interesting. There’s this whole universe out there that we have yet to discover, and there’s so much out there (like planets, life, stars, galaxies, ect) that we still don’t know about and i think that’s really awesome. I also can’t swim too well and I hate seaweed, so for that reason, I’m not big on the ocean. but I’d also never want to go to space??? so idk there are things about each I love and find to be fascinating, but there are also aspects of each that I don’t like?? I hope this made sense, hahah.

11. How are you?: (in depth response required “I’m fine” is not allowed) I’m doing pretty well! I’ve got a lot of shit on my mind lately, and I’m trying to figure a lot of my life out still, but slowly but surely, things are working out in my favor, which makes me quite happy. I definitely have my moments where I and definitely not in a great headspace, where I kinda just want to keep to myself and be alone, but currently, I’ve been pretty content. My anxiety was really bad maybe 2 weeks ago, but since then, i haven’t been too anxious or anything. Overall, I’m good right now. :)