#bracing myself for the hate
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Okay, I'm about to have a serious fandom hot take here. This may get controversial, but I really need to get this off my chest because I will go absolutely fucking insane if I hold it in any longer:
If there's one thing I've come to really hate in my short time in the IASIP fandom, it's the moralizers in the Macden community.
The entire appeal of Macden is that they're both toxic to each other, and paradoxically, it works, because while they're both so fucked in the head, that fucked-upness is in complete compatibility with one another. Even in their lowest moments in s13 and s14, doing and saying horrible shit to each other, they manage to make it through all of that and come out of it stronger (as evidenced by their improving relationship in s15 and ESPECIALLY s16).
[Okay, here's where I really start to get ranty, and potentially even controversial, so I'll put a cut right here.]
That's why I absolutely CANNOT stand it when the moralizers try to make one of them the sole villain of the two. As if everything wrong with the entire relationship is that person's fault only and the other one is a total saint. It's annoying enough when I see it from Mac moralizers, but Dennis moralizers just drive me up the fucking wall.
Trying to make it seem like Dennis is Mac's poor little victim, minimizing his role in the tumultuous spiral their relationship went through in s13 and s14, and just forcing and shoving that interpretation down people's throats as though it was the Holy Gospel. Anyone who disagrees with them is treated like an illiterate moron who is too stupid to see Mac's flaws and not someone who thinks the interpretation is making things too lopsided in Dennis' favor. The sanctimonious, condescending vibe it all gives off is so fucking suffocating.
But that's not the worst part...
The worst part is when they use actual social justice rhetoric in their interpretation (especially once it turns to sexual assault). By doing this, it automatically shuts down all the discussion right then and there. They have full control of the conversation because people are now scared into silence, scared to give a different interpretation. They're forced to agree, or else they'll be perceived as awful people who support rape culture or some other problematic position. That kind of mentality and paranoia can really eat away at a person's psyche over time if they're not careful.
This should NEVER happen in a fandom. Ever. No one should ever have to feel scared and paranoid about sharing their ideas.
This tactic is not only underhanded, but it's also dangerous, and the moralizers really need to realize that, even if they have the best of intentions.
The point of fandom is that fictional character and shipping preferences do NOT define someone's actual, real-life morality (especially not when said preferences involve putrid assholes like the Gang lol). Trying to blur that line is annoying at best and potentially dangerous at worst, and it needs to stop.
#oh god i think i'm losing my fucking mind lol#bracing myself for the hate#see this is what i mean with the paranoia#kiddo speaks#kiddo rants
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if you're someone who draws fanart you can't let spoilers get ya because sometimes you're casually looking for references of a neat background-maybe-eventually-major character and then oops they die. and you did that to yourself.
#it's happened too many times so now i just brace myself for the worst and then forget it as soon as the drawing is finished#storytime i was a late classic anime bloomer so i only watched fmab when i was like 18? maybe more#but anyway i spent all those years knowing NOTHING about fullmetal alchemist. NOTHING!#but OH the moment i want to draw maes hughes?#it crushed me so i just forgot about it#and then i got sad again#cant let spoilers ruin my enjoyment#sometimes they're harmless spoilers#like a wardrobe change or added scars#(the scars i hate tho bc it means the character i wanna draw will go through some Horrors at some point)#anyway stay strong ppl who accidentally run into spoilers while browsing ref pics! we manage we overcome and we survive!
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The very funny thing about having finally recovered from depression after being depressed for literally decades is. Even though I'm no longer depressed. My kneejerk initial reaction when I get overwhelmed is like "fuck it time to die" and then, because I have spent a lot of time and intention and money on therapy, my IMMEDIATE next thought is "no you won't babe, eat some broccoli. Go for a run. Go see ur friends" and the moment I've done any combination of those things I'm like singing showtunes about how good life is. Like ok brain i understand you spent the last fifteen years in a critical state but maybe we can do the broccoli first next time. Vegetables before defaulting to Habitual Symptoms please.
#Mental health#depression#Suicide mention#It's like when you heal from an injury.#A while back I fucked up my knee.#Limped on it for weeks#And it hurt for longer#To the point where I was always mentally bracing whenever i stood up from a chair#Ready to hurt#So that when i “graduated” physical therapy#I was still bracing every single time i moved#Ready for it to hurt. But it didn't#And like. Will that injury still tweak a little sometimes? If I Don't Take Care Of it?#Yeah. But it's almost totally gone. And for months I was shocked every time I braced to hurt and there was nothing there#So when I get stressed i like. Preemptively brace to be suicidal#to hate myself and my life again#And then .... I'm kind of surprised when I... don't.#I know my depression is cured because i know what it feels like to be depressed. Just like i know what it's like to hurt.#And the absence still strikes me sometimes#the way the sun shines through a gap in the trees that's created when you cut down something diseased and dead.#And you're like. God rays. For years there was a shadow here and now there are sunbeams.#No-- there were always sunbeams.
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bro Marcille was really having her White Woman Moment this episode.
#i forgot to brace myself for it!!!!#she's so insane#i do think most non-orcs in their universe would agree w what she said#but i don't think they would SAY IT!!#especially not TO THEIR FACE while they're talking about their people's history of hardship????#AND you're their captive?#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#marcille dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#by elise#to be clear this isn't hate i love Marcille#but she IS a white woman i feel like that's undeniable
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#sam and max#I remembered 1 of my old blogs yesterday & I braced myself for awful takes and terribly OOC artwork but it was actually very funny & cute i#made me smile#ALSO I think I have to experiment with my art style I have been hating my art lately
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I keep telling mr k all the scorched earth fb status I want to post but won’t. My current favorite is:
I wanna say you’re all dumb as hell but I think most of you are just hateful.
Honorable mention to: Always heard “money isn’t everything” and that’s obviously a lie for most of you when you're willing to sell out your friends and neighbors for *checks notes* egg prices.
also told my mom that we have no obligation to be nice to our family that voted for tr*mp because we as a country have obviously decided that kindness and respect don't matter.
#we're all just coping one day at a time#and re: the kindness thing- BE KIND!#spread kindness!#but don't feel guilty about putting up boundaries with people that voted to actively hurt you and others#you're just following their lead there- if they can vote for hate and vulgarity you don't need to feel obligated to spare their feelings wh#make them uncomfortable when you say 'i love you but i can't talk to you right now'#make them reflect on their choices (or at least hope they reflect)#its not YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to assuage any guilt they might be feeling#i'm mostly talking to myself in these tags because I was raised Distinctly Southern and have a people pleasing problem#lots of tr*mp-supporting family will be calling me for my birthday this week and i'm bracing myself and trying to prepare
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i was playing fallout the other day and shot out a deathclaw's head. it exploded, but the game bugged out and it kept charging me. i went from perfectly reasonable human being playing a video game to 'WORLD'S WACKIEST SOUND EFFECTS ALBUM 3 - TRACK 15 - WOMAN SHRIEKING FOR LIFE' in two whole seconds
#fallout 4#fo4#rochequest#i HATE it when they do that#it happened to me with a skeletal synth and i damn near shit myself#horror games? i do okay. i'm prepped i'm braced. scary things happening in normal games? mess
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If Nurf ever does ONE horrible thing or ever so slightly CONSIDERS hurting Preston in the new episodes i'm going to projectile vomit and gouge my eyes out the ENTIRE REASON HE WENT TO CAMP WAS TO BE BETTER WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE THATS HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER WH-
#camp camp#cc nurf#the concept of this character is so good but it's so apparent the crew does not give a shit about him#like come ooooooon#i love the show to death and i get that he's not supposed to be cared about because he's a background character#but he really went from a bully who turned out to be suprisingly sensitive and self aware to a steretypical cartoon bully who says#big words sometimes#like i know he wasn't going to get a big amazingly written emotional character development but even comedy wise it's just lazy#the main reason i loved thks character was because he was hilarious and unique and how he's neither of those#i knoooow i'm going to hate him so much during the up coming episodes and i'm bracing myself for that#venting#uuugh
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so, little idiot confession time, i did not clock the possibility, or make the assumption, that chester and norris are jon and martin at all until i conferred with my friends because i was too caught up in the euphoria of jonny and alex reading the statements
#i just really hate change#so i was bracing myself with all the ways protocol was gonna different#but one of the ideas i really dreaded as the most dramatic change was jonny or alex not reading the statements for some reason#also trained from other media to just assume that someone is a new character when given a new name#tmagp spoilers#tmag#tma#tmagp#the magnus protocol
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My most cancellable opinion is that i dont think kinning is real or healthy and that if you genuinely believe yourself to be a fictional character or an animal or even a different real person that is known as a delusion and you need to seek psychiatric help. Like i get having deep connections with characters but the moment you start believing yourself to BE that character you have crossed a very dangerous psychological line that needs to be reeled back. You are not komaeda because komaeda is not REAL, and thats just like, objective fact. And i dont like how tumblr treats these delusions like they should be accepted and fed into lest they compare it to actual real world bigotry
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what’s your thesis about?
It’s about how a lack of positive male representation in film leads to men not having the tools/models to live outside of patriarchal masculinity and therefore being denied their full humanity so I’m looking at films like Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, and Barbie and how in the 80s and 90s there was a wave of models of positive (albeit somewhat problematic) masculinity but after 9/11 there was a clinging to hegemonic masculinity and traditional gender roles due to global crisis and with the 2010s there was a huge conversation around toxic masculinity which was great but now there’s a generation of young men who’ve grown up thinking that to be a man is to be 1) a killer 2) killed 3) toxic so when people like Andrew Tate or people within the manosphere say shit like “you’re powerful because you’re a man” it doesn’t matter how untrue or harmful what everything they’re saying is because that’s more often than not the first positive thing they’ve heard about masculinity
Gender minorities like women get massive amounts of self help books, magazines, TikToks, YouTube videos, etc about what it means to be a woman living outside of patriarchal culture and standards but men don’t get the same thing and because of that they are trapped in this cycle and are doomed to never get positive representation because why would Hollywood grant them that when they make so much money off of toxic masculinity?
That’s a long winded explanation but that’s the gist!! I’ve got about six weeks left of writing and then I can get back to my real life 🥲
#June does grad school#bracing myself for the wrong people to find this and accuse me of hating women#or being anti feminist#anyways#go read the will to change by bell hooks pls#june screams on the internet
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Tomorrow have a tour with someone who is full to the brim with walking limitations and I have been working in my head a dozen scripts to tell them that stopping every hour might just not be possible because 1) there might just not be a place to sit, and 2) I do not have that type of availablity
#I'm so angry I don't want to do this shit tomorrow#i hate people who have a dozen limitations and book the 5k marathon equivalent of a walking tour#i cannot accomodate you#there is literally nothing I can do#so i am just bracing myself to be treated like shit tomorrow
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ok so how long do we think it's gonna be until we start seeing kendrick edits of biden
#speak friend and enter#i only say this because. well. 75+% of the white petit neoliberal coterie has listened to rap for the first time in their lives#within the past 48 hours.#so now im bracing myself for 'i hate the way the way that you talk i hate the way that you sneak diss' over images of trump 😐
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feeling a sudden surge of anxiety while thinking about finding a dentist godddd why is it so difficult to find a good one..... i've needed braces for FOREVER and im mad at my younger self for not trying hard enough to convince my dad to help me get them because i feel like it'll be way more expensive now that i'm an adult -__- i know fuck all about anything and it sucks that i dont have an adult to ask about this kind of stuff this sucksssss why is insurance so annoying why is looking for a doctor soooooo annoyingggggg i hope i die
#fawkkkkkkkkkkk#felt tooth pain and i started to get crazy anxious like what if all my teeth fall out what if im fuckeddddd#i need braces so bad . it's bad . god#why do they have to be thousands of dollars !!!! fuck !!!!!!!#why didnt i do this soonerrrrr why was i so scared lol . like im a bit scared now but like . come onnnnn#fawk#i'm feeling so anxious just thinking about it i wanna throw up#i hate that my immediate response is to think of the worst fucking situation which does NOT help with navigating the situation#bc then it just makes me want to put it off longer which causes more anxiety#im sooooo sick of myself omg . when will i be free#fuck..................#and im too ashamed to talk to anyone about dental stuff because my teeth are so bad . idk if that even makes any SENSE#WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO COST MONEYYYYYYYY#im so anxious i feel like crying idk why oughhhh god#i hate feeling like i have to take on everything on my own . ouagh#ss
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i can't believe I just watched two men (metaphysical beings?) skate around their obvious love for one another for twelve hours only for them to ask each other out, kiss, and break up within five minutes and cut to credits?!? i am physically unwell. neil gaiman you better sleep with one eye open bc i'm COMING FOR YOU.
#good omens#good omens 2#aziraphale#crowley#neil gaiman#I WAS SO CONFIDENT#my father didnt believe it could be but i looked him right on in the eyes and said father#i know these things. i see the subtext that your feeble mind is missing. those two absolutely want to get down with it#no way theyre just baiting us. neil would NEVER right??#i forced that man to wager an entire dollar that they would end up together.#AND THEN I WATCHED WHATEVER THE HELL THAT WAS WTF I HATE EVERYTHING#I BRACED MYSELF FOR QUEERBAIT NOT QUEERHEARTBREAK#how tf did i miss tumblr posting ab this and not ineffable bureaucracy???#did the site not go down out of mourning??#feels like im going through all five stages i cannot do this right now#at this point i might have to resort to watching red white and royal blue and i just know its going to be as bad as the book#sobbing and bargaining and screaming rn ahhhhhhhhhh no no no
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man i used some kt tape for my knee this morning bc it was hurting rly bad (its my problem knee) and decided fuck it why not try it! i have some! (i tape my jaw bc of pain/stability issues)
and i came across a video from an OT with hEDS talking abt how they tape their knees earlier in the day so i thought id go and dig that video up and try it. and it helped a bunch yay!!!
but i did not think i was gonna notice such a difference between my taped knee and my untaped one even tho my other one was not in pain!! like just the massive difference in stability was staggering. I super noticed it when we went out grocery shopping and therefore was walking a bunch.
I ended up also taping my knee that wasnt in pain just to have the stability.
Will be experimenting with other joints in the future.
#burnt the eggs#i think i will also be experimenting with other taping methouds bc i dont think this one is perfect for the pain im having#but its GREAT for stability#its also great bc i hate hate hate knee braces and will not wear them#and also just didnt rly think i needed them tbh#listen i didnt know my knee caps werent supposed to jiggle like they do until a WEEK ago bc no one ever told me ok#i think i will be loooking to see if there r any ways 2 tape hips i can do myself next#bc my hip pain has been BAAAAAD#but i got so much tape on me rn idk if i wanna do it like right now yknow
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