#boys manga sad

[assume-pas]

I love you.

[rissaito]

mithrun, the captain of the canaries 👁️

[poop-benedict]

CSM #168 SPOILERS

Denji getting the sexual gratification that he thought he wanted, being denied the love that he desperately needed and subsequently feeling broken and used for the gazillionth time.

[menacinmasochist]

Eyes don’t lie…

Ayato: I hate my eyes the most

Laito: I love my eyes the most

[begrudging-fudanshi]

So i stared reading windbreaker after i saw your post about it , it's wholesome manga with amazing fights

in your opinion Why didn't nii satoru reveal Sakura's past until now ? Why was Sakura alone ?

Hell yeah. Welcome to the fandom. I'm glad my propaganda has been working.

To be honest, I've been thinking about this series way too much over the last couple weeks, so this is probably going to be A Lot. I am dumping a lot of accumulated thoughts in here and simultaneously trying to keep a bunch of other thoughts from cluttering it up. If any of this feels disjointed, it's because I've been trying (I swear) to not make this like 10,000 words long lmao.

(CW: Wind Breaker manga spoilers + discussion of child neglect, trauma, feelings of worthlessness, parental loss, grief, and a suicide attempt in the context of the series. Hope you're ready for some pain.)

I'm going to answer your questions in reverse order, because I think they're actually very closely connected.

Sadly, my read on Sakura's past is really dark. Based on what we know so far, there's a lot to suggest that Sakura has been badly neglected for a long time, both physically and emotionally. Based on his lifestyle and the way he talks about himself, I really struggle to believe that he's received any genuine affection or care in many years, if ever. (I'm so glad he was able to go to Furin.)

The flashbacks at the start of episode 1 of the anime suggest he was taken in by relatives who didn't want him, and I think they basically set him up for failure in every way. They seem to have done the bare minimum required of them by the law, like sending him to school, but I can see no evidence that they did much of anything else. Like, what kind of asshole sends a 15-year-old kid to live alone in a barren apartment with literally nothing to wear except his school uniform? Caring people wouldn't let a kid live like that. (That said, I have a bad feeling that his lifestyle seen in chapter 56 is an upgrade compared to what he had before.)

Given this, it's clear Sakura really means it when he says he's always done things by himself. I think this is why he looks so torn up when his friends show him real kindness and why he's so sensitive to anyone showing affection. I also think this means that he really wants to forget his past. This is a big part of why we haven't seen it revealed yet: Sakura isn't ready to revisit it, himself.

---

Something interesting about Wind Breaker's backstories is that they all (as far as I and my notes can remember) follow a consistent pattern. They're not just lore dumps that tell us about the character's past. They actually follow each character through a process of changing their beliefs about themselves, often based on their view of the past. This is why they're all in the first person. Some of these changes happen in the present while others are part of flashbacks, but either way the process is basically the same.

In each backstory, the character starts out believing something about themselves that gives rise to a contradiction that keeps them trapped. This belief somehow keeps them from living their best life and, often, stops them from changing their ways to make their best life possible. However, someone else helps them challenge that belief, giving rise to a revelation that lets them change how they see themselves. This change enables them to see new possibilities and lets them move forward towards the life they want.

For example:

Umemiya believed his parents would blame him for their deaths, so he couldn't let himself grieve them nor believe that he deserved to live. His guilt blocked out his memory of the event, keeping him from remembering what really happened. However, a nameless(?) Furin student and Shitara helped him realize that his parents saved him and were happy to see him survive. Thus, he was able to grieve and imagine a future for himself other than his self-destruction.

Kaji believed that his rage was uncontrollable and couldn't even see himself as human. Hiragi helped him realize that he could manage his triggers and change his behavior to be able to find acceptance and live his life.

Tsubaki believed that she couldn't like pretty things or express herself how she wanted. Ito and Yui helped her learn to dress up and present herself the way she liked, allowing her to accept herself and transition. (I know she's not canonically transgender but that's still the best way I can see to describe it.)

After Yui's death, Ito believed that she might never have truly loved him. Tsubaki, Sakura, Suo, and Nirei help him realize the secret meaning of the tree that she planted in his garden, letting him live his life without worrying if she was truly happy.

What's important here is that the character must be ready to have their beliefs about themselves challenged so they can understand their full truth. Otherwise, their story of their past would be incomplete. (Consider what Umemiya's backstory would have sounded like if he still believed he was a murderer.) In fact, we already have an example of this that I'll get to, next.

Because Sakura isn't yet in a position to challenge the beliefs holding him back, he can't reveal his past, either. He has friends helping him, but it's going to be a while before they've truly shaken his most unhelpful beliefs.

---

That said, this process has actually played out with Sakura once before and I think it tells us a lot. It shows us exactly why he's not ready to reveal his past.

In chapter 1, Sakura starts out believing that he's meant to always be alone, leading him to initially reject the people of Makochi. Then, Kotoha helps him acknowledge that he does want to be accepted and convinces him to give it a shot. However, while this is great progress and very necessary for Sakura's growth, this isn't a complete resolution. He still has an even more deep-seated belief that has to be addressed.

In addition to asserting that he's meant to be alone, Sakura also lays out another belief in chapter 1 that I argue really gets to the root of his deepest trauma. He doesn't quite say it explicitly, but it underpins both his belief that he's meant to be alone and that he's worth nothing but his fists.

The closest he comes to naming it is when he describes Furin. He says it's "The lowest of the low, hated by all others, worth nothing but their fists … It's a battle to determine the trashiest of the trash. That suits me perfectly."

I have to admit, the first few times I heard and read this, I completely missed how fucked up it is for a 15-year-old kid to say this about himself. I think I've gotten so used to taking shonen protagonists' confident declarations at face value that I just didn't question it, in the same way I've learned not to question, say, 12-year-old Gon deciding to become a pro hunter and travel the world fighting adults. The way it's presented very deliberately (and, I think, cleverly) blunts the impact as well, making use of shonen stylistic conventions to disguise it as stereotypical shonen protagonist bluster. This mirrors how Sakura masks his deeper feelings about himself.

However, as I read through the rest of the manga, it became clear that this is what Sakura actually, deeply believes. He's 15 years old and he truly sees himself as trash—in other words, worthless. The only way he can imagine finding worth in himself is through his strength. Even then, this is only for Sakura himself. He can't let himself imagine anyone else ever valuing him for any reason, so he must find self-worth all on his own. To put it more sharply, he can't imagine deserving unconditional love. Based on what little we do know about his past, this belief stems from a lifetime of emotional neglect.

The thing is, Sakura's belief that he's worthless is actually, paradoxically, a coping mechanism. As horrible as it is, it helps him rationalize his life in a way that lets him keep living despite his neglect and isolation. If he's truly worthless, then he's never had a reason to expect being loved or accepted by anyone—he's always been meant to be alone. This is how he can tell himself that he doesn't care and has given up. This lets him bury the pain of his isolation and pretend it doesn't truly hurt. By believing that he has always been worthless and unable to be (to deserve being) loved, he has had no reason to get his hopes up for the future, nor any reason to question why he's been treated so badly in the past. He can accept it (has to accept it), even if he hates it, because it was always inevitable.

Notice how Sakura reminds himself that he's given up right before punching the Spaltips' leader in chapter 1. This is the story he tells himself to contain the hurt. He does something similar in chapter 56, reminding himself that he's supposed to be alone as he grapples with his friends' kindness. He bludgeons himself with this reminder as a way to push away thoughts about his past. He then shifts his focus to thinking about his growing care for his friends rather than his feelings about himself. Once again, Sakura makes himself turn away.

The trouble is, this belief is his only means of holding back an unfathomable amount of pain inside of him. It's the only way he knows how to live with all the myriad ways he's been treated like shit. To doubt his own worthlessness, therefore, is to expose himself to overwhelming grief. Because, if he isn't worthless, he then has to ask himself why he had to suffer for so long. That kind of question is too awful for him—for pretty much anyone—to face on their own. This coping mechanism protects him, but it also traps him and prevents him from finding relief.

This comes to a head in chapter 1, as the townspeople surround him and the old woman tries to tend to his wound. As she reaches towards him, he screams at her to stay away. This act of genuine kindness fills him with terror. It's not just that he fears eventual rejection—Sakura fears the idea he could be accepted at all. Remember, he's just "failed" to win the fight and, worse, ended up having to be protected because he got hurt. Sakura could accept Kotoha's kindness earlier because he "earned" it by stopping her attackers, but now there's someone trying to help him for what feels like no reason. For Sakura, who must believe that he was never meant to be loved or accepted, being shown kindness for no apparent reason feels like an existential threat. It threatens to undermine the walls that he's built inside of him to keep going. This is why he allows Kotoha to help him instead—he can still rationalize her help as transactional.

This rationalization provides his means of escape. To accept his place in Makochi, he only has to accept that he doesn't have to be alone. He doesn't have to believe that he can be valued or loved unconditionally, nor that he deserved anything better. Instead, Sakura finds a way to "earn" his acceptance: The chapter culminates with Sakura accepting Bofurin, which he shows by leaping over all the others to kick the Spaltips' leader in the face.

By showing his strength, by upstaging the heroes and claiming his place among them, Sakura proves (to himself) that he is strong enough to be accepted. Rather than accept that he could always have been valued and accepted unconditionally—that he always could have been loved—Sakura would rather believe he's earned his acceptance based on his strength.

In this way, Sakura can continue to believe in his own worthlessness, saving himself from having to face his past. Because of this, even as he's learned that he can be accepted, he still maintained his belief that he was meant to be alone from the start (again, see chapter 56). This lets him continue to justify his past suffering and minimize his own pain.

This comes back around in chapter 162, when Sakura's classmates talk about his low self-esteem. Despite their efforts to show him that he's loved and valued, Sakura ultimately still believes he's only worth his strength. We see how he rejects Umemiya's praise, unable to understand how he could be praised when he "failed". Sakura can't believe he could be valued when he couldn't even single-handedly save the town.

But, as long as he believes this, his past will remain a mystery, not just to his friends and to us as readers, but even to Sakura himself. Just as Umemiya's repression kept him from realizing that his parents loved him, Sakura's repression keeps him from realizing that he has always deserved to be loved. He cannot acknowledge, can't even recognize, the pain he's endured in his life, because he still has to believe it didn't matter. Because of this, he can't let himself grieve or admit that he has always deserved better. He's still trapped believing he must always prove his worth through his strength alone.

Of course, changing this isn't going to be easy. He will get there. His friends will help him through it. Still, it's going to be rough. I think it'll be a while yet before he's ready to tell us about his past.

---

Addendum

All of that being said, something I really love about Wind Breaker is how hopeful it is and the way it shows Sakura living despite his past. To that end, I want to note one last thing: Sakura can still smile, despite everything else. No matter what he tells himself, he still feels hope.

I mentioned above that I didn't recognize Sakura's low self-esteem at first because it's masked with stereotypical shonen protagonist confidence. I think this is very deliberate by the author. We're supposed to see Sakura as cool, confident, and badass in the beginning, only to realize that he's also hurting inside. (Emphasis: that's also, not instead. These aren't mutually exclusive.) Sakura's cocky grin is part of a mask he wears, but it's not a lie.

While I believe Sakura has suffered a lot, it's important to emphasize that he's not broken or doomed to drown in grief. What I've laid out here is what I believe is going on beneath the surface, and I do believe he's going to have to face his trauma eventually, but let's not forget that our boy can still smile after all of that. The fact that he can smile doesn't mean that he's not hurting, but the fact that he's hurting doesn't mean he only feels pain. Let's not do him dirty by miring our view of him in grief. Instead, as we acknowledge how much he's suffered, let's also be happy at just how far he's come and hopeful for how far he'll go in the future.

[everylevishot]

Levi #2176

Chapter 139.5 - 悪童 (Bad Boy)

[fadedyukii]

I’d give anything to forget this ever existed.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 777: Sohoku's sprinter

Pag 2

1: Houruaaagh

2: Buooraah

3: It's not.... “he's going to attack one more time”!!

Pag 3

1: He's attacked already!!

Pag 4

2: Fifth stage!!

He used the last curve!!

3: Feelings at full throttle!!

He got his “three seconds” in the curve and then accelerated!?

This guy has been tearing apart-

Pag 5

1: Aventador!!

Orange*!!

-road racing common sense over and over again!!

(*NdT.: Issa's attack's name)

Pag 6

4: One guy has jumped ahead as they were turning the curve

Hakogaku and Sohoku are chasing him!!

The guy who's ahead with two strong guys following him.....

Pag 7

1: I've never seen his jersey before!!

Hyaaa!!

Who's that guy!? An unknown cyclist!?

But he's here at the sprint line

Can something like that really happen!?

Pag 8

1: Words things like “of course”, “I already know that”, are like shackles that bind our thoughts

2: There is discovery in “common sense”, yon!!

4: Even so, in road bikes

5: there are two or three ways to hold the handles, so you can change your posture

Pag 9

1: and use various muscles to accelerate, yon!!

2: Three people passed the 300m point, and now it's just a straight road

Pag 10

1: There's still one person running ahead!! The two people behind him can't catch up!!

2: They can see the sprint gate already!!

3: Tch, really, he forced his way through with an ambush like this

4: But

5: My “number one in Japan” plan hasn't wavered one bit!!

Pag 11

1: Lat year's autumn

Woooah cap!!

2: Gap!!

3: Guaagh.... it's always just me saying “gap”!!

Whatcha talking about, Kabu

4: About Doubashi!! I wanna leave him “gaping”!! Me!! Since I lost to him in the summer Inter High!!

You’ve lost the ability to differentiate between the words ‘gap’ and ‘gaping’, haven’t you?

5: Huh? I was able to say this properly when I talked to Aoyagi-san

… which was it again?

6: By the way, Naruko-san, you're supposed to be a good sprinter

Supposed to be!?

Don't you have some secret weapon? Like an ace up your sleeve

7: I'm a genius, so I think if you teach me I'll get it right away!!

I really don't feel like telling you... honestly

8: No, but.... I also thought of myself as a genius, but surely I wasn't that stupid

Pag 12

1: But it's a favour to a kohai, it can't be helped

I've grown too, after all

2: Listen carefully to this “secret weapon”

When you're sprinting

3: The “cog-wheels” you imagine, try imagine them more accurately!! Until the tiniest details!!

4: The....

5: … cog-wheels!?

6: Ah? What does that mean!?

7: Be more specific, please... you're not very reliable, huh

Ugh!! This guy....

I've been thinking this since before, but me and you really don't think alike, Naruko-san...

I'll kill you....

Pag 13

1: As expected from Naruko-san

2: Aoyagi-san was more reliable (even thought he was taciturn)

What does he mean “imagine”?

Hop

3: Ohhh, amazing, Kaburagi

4: Hahaha, I know, right

6: I can do this too

Ohhhh... a blind catch!!

7: How did you do that!?

Hahaha, I'm a genius, so I can do anything just by imagin....

Kaburagi is so cool!

Pag 14

1: Imagining!!

2: Just now I did a blind catch just by imagining it!!

Do it again!

What's wrong, Kaburagi?

3: Oi oi, wait, wait- is this what he meant?

4: Does that mean it'll work? If I apply this to biking!?

6: Imagine

The cog-wheels

7: accurately

8: until the tiniest details

9: Detailed

10: Times and times again

Pag 15

1: I imagined it over and over again!!

And then my “cog-wheels”evolved into “gears”!!

2: Oi, San-na!! Do you have one more special move?

4: Tch

Pag 16

1: Buah!!

Of course!!

I need one more shot to crush you!!

2: It's “Huracan*”, which is stronger than “Aventador”!!

(*NdT.: written as “raging bull” but read as “huracan”)

3: Use it now!!

5: I, too

Pag 17

1: will pull out “golden yellow” now!!

2: If we use them at the same time, it'll make us catch up!!

3: You understand it, San-na

There's no time for complaining about it

4: This guy..... the “golden yellow” that he absolutely wanted to save until the last minute before the sprint line!!

5: We have to close the gap and line up to him now

At this rate, that guy

Pag 18

1: He'll be the first to arrive!!

2: The lead is passing the 200m sign!!

3: Who's that, Gunma!?

I thought the Gunma team was supposed to be Jousui?!

Did the team debut this year!?

There's a guy that strong in Gunma

4: Waaaa

5: That number 181 is debuting now.... but

His career and profile is crazy!!

Pag 19

1: It's Kiji Kyuui!! He's the MTB Inter High two-times champion!!

Huh!?

2: So, the two chasing him won't be able to catch up, at this rate!?

Pag 20

1: Huh!?

What was that just now

For an instant, behind those two

2: I saw blooming golden yellow flowers, and a raging bull

Pag 21

1: This year's may

2: I see

3: Please

Basically

4: Doubashi, you mean you want to race me in a serious sprint battle... now that I've become an university student!!

[shehsart]

If you really think about it he hasn't changed a bit.

[h0estar]

Yukine's journey toward acceptance of the life that was robbed of him, this time with finality, exemplifies the emotional and beautifully rendered arc that has defined his character.

Yukine finally accepting the reality of his death. Yukine stepping out from the fridge that contained memories of what was once his life. Yukine freeing himself from the shackles of his trauma. Yukine running to protect the person who cherished him the most in the world. Yukine standing up to an abusive father. Yukine wholeheartedly apologizing. Yukine's growth, and Yato tearing up as he stretches his little arms to pull him for an embrace.

Yukine's gratitude for what Yato did for him is evident throughout the series. He was given a name more precious than any other. He was treated like a human--an ordinary teenage boy. And life after that was one exciting journey after another. Now, Yukine can no longer be entirely consumed by the horrors of his past because he knows that his reality with Yato is so much brighter. Far brighter.

Yukine could break out from that refrigerator because of the true, sincere, and nurturing love shown by the only father figure in his life. Yato has said multiple times throughout the series that Yukine was his priority above all else, and Yukine was the only person he swore to protect the most. Hell, he even went straight to hug him after Yukine apologized for turning into that form! Yato did not need to summon Yukine. Yukine came to protect Yato on his own decision. As he always did.

The journey to their healing will be painful, and this chapter shows that Yato and Yukine will face it together. No more secrets and no more miscommunications. They will help and be by each other's side as they always have, not only as god and shinki but, this time, as family.

"I will not let him die. Not Yato. No matter what happens... I swear I won't let anyone take him from me!" -Yukine, Noragami Vol. 17 Chapter 67.

[wheatormeat]

Rereading old haikyuu chapters, here's a bunch of silly Akaashis

[guiltipanda]

Okay but like, the Heroes Rising movie is canon. Horikoshi made it canon with the manga. Bakugou still has embers of OFA inside him, we see him interact with All Might's vestige when he dies.

So I can't help but think....are the embers transferable? Can't Bakugou return the embers to Deku? Would that be enough for Deku to have his quirk back? I mean, why the hell not, mha has done more convoluted things than that.

[paprikaries]

"TRICKED" _ One-Panel Comics: Saint Seiya references. Just for fun. I don't have much to say. I simply should stop to think that crushes in anime are possible after 25 years old... 😅😐 Have you ever had this kind of disappointed experience?

[500zeusabody]

Osamu Tezuka's "The Greatest Robot on Earth" & Noaki Urasawa's "Pluto" parallels (edit)

[bonkingcat]

babygirl…

[everylevishot]

Levi #2179

Chapter 139.5 - 悪童 (Bad Boy)