#boys gonna be chompin at the bit

[astracora]

Dancing on Tables

Characters: LADs x gn!mc (poly lads), Simone, Tara

Warnings: Alcohol mention, Drunk MC

Written: 28th December 2024

Notes: Poly lads group chat. I like to imagine Simone enjoys bothering Xavier cause when it comes to MC he has a lot of reactions, and she finds that funny. I also think Tara is very lovely and mostly innocent, but can casually drop a bomb without meaning to.

Masterlist AO3

Bonus - Tara + Simone group chat

[absoluteocellibehavior]

looked thru your blog to try n remember what I said in that ask and came across someone saying PARKER AS THE DEATH CARD ,!?!!??!!?! FUCK that’s too good I’m gonna have to make THREE MORE NOW

I KNEW THAT ASK IS WHAT YOU WERE REFERRING TO!! Gosh that was so long ago but I was holding out hope nonetheless (especially for Noel and Dennis *coughs*). OH HOOO BOY! I'm raring to go now! Also, YES! Parker as Death is just PERFECT! I'm totally not 100% biased at all with Death being one of my favorite cards. It really is that "transitionary period" that can be good, bad, neither, or both that fits well with Parker. I mean, his death is what kicked off everything we have going on with Arthur. There are both good and bad aspects that Arthur has gotten out of it. But the most important thing is that that moment was a change for Arthur. His life was never ever going to be the same from that point forward. Parker in general throughout his time in Arthur's life represents change too. He's the one that got Arthur back on his feet. Got him a job. Got him to somewhat like himself again. He too helped Arthur through a change out of "bedrock" to a place of stability. And then that stability was ripped out from underneath him, and he had to adjust again. Augh! Can't you tell I missed this? And now I get more! Literally chompin at the bit rn!

[yanoverload]

MAIN POST YIPPEE

𝔹𝔼𝔽𝕆ℝ𝔼 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔽𝕆𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎 𝕄𝔼, 𝕃𝕆𝕆𝕂 𝔸𝕋 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℝ𝕌𝕃𝔼𝕊.

Will draw dark content that might involve NSFT so no minors please. For both of our sakes.

IF YOU DISLIKE DEAD DOVE. BLOCK. ME. IT WILL BE DRAWN/WRITTEN.

NO EMPTY BLOGS!!!

No AI art allowed!

Yanderes are what I like in FICTION. Please understand the difference between reality and fiction. If any of this behaviour seems familiar, go seek help from authorities, not me. 

ALL my OCs are Pansexual unless stated otherwise. My characters are for all peeps! (If I write stuff it will be GN)

Most if not all of them will be SUBS. There is enough dom!yandere content out there. I could I guess make way but don’t count your luck.

DO NOT take me too seriously. I am using this blog to get back into drawing and for having fun. I am cringe but I am free :’)

If you draw or write about my characters please tag me or show me!!! I would love to see it. 

I will try to add content warnings if necessary. If you need me to tag something, please ask! (but remember this blog will have triggering content prolly all the time.)

I will NOT entertain certain kinks like: scat, vomit, vore, inflation, enemas, cuckolding (TO READER OR DARLING. A yan can cheat on thei spouse with darling though for example.) and probably more I can't remember.

I might write a bit here and there but do not request any writing. 

I do not get sarcasm. I can be slow. Please respect these.

◥(ºᵥᵥº)◤ ABOUT ME! ◥(ºᵥᵥº)◤

I call myself Samhain but most call me Crow! I am 22, and I’m Non-Binary so use They/Them for me.

My main blog isn’t this one, it’s Berilemon, so keep that in mind if I follow you!

I have been in love with yandere themes and character design since highschool, but I lost that passion in college, so I am trying to get back into it again! 

I am a bit sick in the head LOL sorry in advance.

Probably will post mostly yandere OCs but I might do Yandere! Characters…. No clue yet.

I am just a silly crow <\3

Any questions? Ask! I am very patient I promise <3

My anons 💞

2️⃣ fan anon, 🇩🇪 anon, 🦄 anon, 🍇 anon, 🫥 anon, 🇧🇷 anon, 🪼 anon

Wave 1 Masterlist!

Yandere Unicorn Hybrid

Does he have heats?

"Lemme peg him."

Marrying Éliphas

Info about his magic

His "house"

Overall outfit inspiration

Is he wife material?

His fav fruit

Tsun af

Sick Darling

Electrifying punishments...

Spanks? No, inspection time!

Inspection pt2

Crying Éli

Yandere Incubus

Yandere Incubus full body ref

Yandere Incubus and matching piercings

Krampus Darling

Goth sub? Ramune.

Christmas Ramune

Karaoke

"I would kill for him."

Ramune and his quirks

Doing only fans

Duality

Spoiling you

Yandere Cow Boy

Full body ref

"Can I impregnate him?"

"You not gonna leave me on this farm." WARNING: MURDER!

Cut em. WARNING: AMPUTATION

Drabble about cutting him WARNING: AMPUTATION

Chompin him

How he loves you.

Cute but a bit mean

Yandere Serial Killer

Malewife Dae-Ho

You guys and Dae-Ho

Do what you want with him WARNING: AMPUTATION

His worship and logic.

How he met you

Gift for friend

Breaking in (drabble by my pooks)

Darling's cooking

Dreaming about him...

Omegaverse Dae-Ho

Wreck that virgin!

Snek AU

Snake AU species

"I'm a villain."

Watching you.

Titty...

Yandere Hellhound

Full body ref

Who's the stalker?

Oral fixation

Puppy, go to the crate

His siblings

Mono's diet!

Piggyback ride

"Do his flames hurt us?"

More info on his likes

Does his fire run out?

Breaking up with him

"How do you mark Mono?"

All of em!

Their character inspirations

No Nut November survivors

Them as plushies!

Yans and Christmas

Best and worst kissers

What if you bite them in public?

Their love languages!

Biggest and smallest titties

Kisses, except for Dae-Ho.

The freakiest things they like

Who would kidnap you?

Cake time!

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

December Drabbles

Prompt 11: Tradition

Characters: .....SEBEPPY I'm sorry I'm not reorganizing my prompt list to space out the Sebek and Epel stuff

-----------------------------------------------

".....You...what?"

Sebek's expression only made Epel's grin grow wider.

"Every year, everyone in the town gathers at town hall t'find the rotten apple ornament on the tree that the mayor hides. First person t'find it gets t'be Uncle Marley's tastetester for the community feast AND gets first choice of the gifts under the tree."

Sebek looked baffled, bringing a hand up to his head in bewilderment. "But it's an apple on a pine tree.....does that not stand out??"

Epel just grinned and grabbed his hand in both of his, pulling him closer to the mass of people waiting outside of town hall.

"Guess you're gonna have to see!"

There was a palpable excitement in the air. Even with many of the residents being more mature in age, there was child like enthusiasm that Sebek found himself trying to adjust to.

The mayor stood in front of the crowd, holding the small rotten apple ornament. Sebek ducked down to speak to Epel.

"I thought the mayor was meant to hide the apple ornament, why is he holding it?"

Epel paused and pouted a bit as he tried to step by another person "I can' even see the may'r yet, I dunno what he's doin'", before continuing his pursuit to make it to the front of the crowd. Sebek followed close behind, trying to be wary of the people around him. He barely noticed that he and Epel had stumbled to the front, though once he did he ducked down, not wanting to inhibit anyone from seeing what was going on. No sooner had he squatted to balance on the balls of his feet before the mayor spoke up jollily.

"Evenin' y'all! I know yer all chompin' at the bit to get things rollin' but as y'all know little Epel Felmier's got his friend over for the holidays-"

Epel's face flared red at his name being called out, and to the fact Sebek was being singled out along with him, but he had no time to protest or stop the mayor as chuckles rang out around him and a few people from the community cheered.

The mayor continued, speaking over the crowd. " 'nd I couldn't think of a better way to welcome Sebek 'nd teach'im how we do things here in Harveston than to have 'm be the one to kick off our annual tradition."

Sebek's eyes widened a bit, meeting the mayors excited look, and pointed to himself.

"....You want...me to hide the apple on the tree? I would be honoured to partake in your traditions, be as strange as they may be to me."

Epel elbowed him a bit, still embarrassed from earlier, but the mayor beamed in response.

"Come on in then young'n, I'll show ya where it was last year so y'don't put it in the same place."

Sebek straightened up a bit and glanced at Epel over his shoulder as he followed the mayor into town hall, shooting him a wide grin.

-----------------------------------------------

Once inside and the rules explained, the mayor watched Sebek hold the ornament at a few different heights against his chest. He nodded to himself once he got it to a particular point, then walked around the tree to find another ornament to hide the apple behind. At first, the mayor was confused as to why Sebek was so adamant about the height he held it at.

That was until he saw Epel's huge grin at having found the apple, and he realized that Sebek had put it right at eye level for his smaller friend.

The mayor chuckled to himself as he watched the two boys talk animatedly to each other, Sebek feigning ignorance as to how quickly Epel was able to find the ornament.

His wife came up to him, linking her arm in his and watching them for a moment with him, chuckling softly.

"I remember when we were young and in love. God bless their hearts."

The mayor looked down at her, then back at the boys, a blank expression on his face.

"They're gay?"

"Oh heavens to betsy, Charles 'course they are!"

[kenniilovesthethicc]

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about "Chow Down," from the Lion King Broadway show. Specifically, Ruggie singing some of the lyrics from it.

Here is a little funny fic about this concept

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Having a boyfriend that was taller than you had many benefits. Getting things from the top shelf, carrying you, resting his head on your shoulder; all very good. However, things got a whole lot more... spooky, whenever you were only a few inches tall while he was 5'7" and a carnivore.

You'd been dating Ruggie for some time now since having to sleepover at Savanaclaw when getting evicted by Azul and his goons. The darling boy would help cook with you, "find," (steal) little trinkets for you he couldn't afford, and those kisses he'd pepper on your cheek always left you feeling warm. Time passed on and you had forgotten his dangerous aspects. It all changed with a potion.

"Greeeaaat, just what I needed: shrink juice spilled on me," you complain as you attempt to clean up a spillage at your work desk. It had been a simple homework for potions, just using a shrink potion to compel a flower's petals to get smaller. As this mixture was intended for plants, it was dropped on using a pipette quite delicately. However, your clumsy ass spilled it on yourself, half the damn bottle. Cool, cool, this is just fine.

In moments, you magically POOF into pipsqueak form, landing on the desk itself next to the flower's vase. Ruggie, having heard commotion, came into the room to scope things out.

"Babe, you good in here? I heard something-" he takes a few good sniffs, turning to look directly at you, "...spill." He rushed over, eyes wide at what he was looking at. "You got a shrinking potion on yourself!? Are you ok?" Shyly, you step into view and start mumbling insults about yourself. "Yeah, I'm fine. Not sure how I'm gonna get access to a growth potion in short notice, but fine," you wipe the liquid off of your forehead and flump on the table. Scooping you up, Ruggie uses his bandana to wipe the little bit of droplets off of you since the residue has no more magic. "Well, the only way to find a reversal for that kind of potion would be from Crewel anyways. Looks like you're gonna be my little buddy until midday tomorrow, shishishi!"

GrrrrUUmmbl

"... I think I have juuust the spot to keep you, too ~" he teased, opening his maw ready to swallow you up. Jumping back, you growl in playful anger at him. "Ruggie! I don't wanna be stuck in your stomach for hours and hours.. it gets gross after you eat something and I'm still there..." The hyena pouted, other paw scratching his belly. "C'mooon, lil snack. It's so incredible how you're so rude-" he licks your cheek, "when you're so edible..." he nibbles your arm, "when you are food!"

Leaping from his grasp onto the bed, the chase begins. Your tiny feet gain speed as you dart across the surface, hungry hyena boy teasingly following. In the same silly songlike manner he continues.

"I'm chompin at the bit, baby," as he nearly snags you with his slightly discolored fangs. "My stomach's on the growl," as he rolls onto his back like a housecat toying with a mouse while you climb over his leg to get to the exit. Sliding down the rimming around the stairs, the beast continues his pursuit. Once downstairs, nearly out of breath, you peek into the kitchen when a giant hindpaw stomps next you you. "You've been invited on a date," he sings as he bends down and you're picked up, taken into the dining area. "Handed to me on a plate," as he places you on the same plate he ate a grilled cheese on.

Your heart is racing, eyes wide at the handsome devil who loomed over you. "Be good as gold, for you're as good as carved!" He darkly teases as his claws carefully glide across your belly, not harming you yet the thoughts still flood in. "Here, kitty kitty..." he leans in, whispering right into your whole body. "I'm starved~"

"... WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT ABOUT!?" You yell laugh at the now snickering Ruggie whose tail won't stop wagging. "Who told you songs about eating people make me flustered?? And everything else??" He propped his chin on his arms and looked at you dopily. Truly, he didn't know where that performance came from. He did know, however, that it certainly got you all red in the face so whatever he did, worked. "Ehh, just an impulse I guess. While you do look tasty right now, I haven't had dinner yet and you still gotta munch too. Howabout after I make us some chicken sliders you rest up in me? It won't be thaaat mushy inside~"

..

So now, you are tucked away in Ruggie's full, chicken sandwiched tummy for the night. It'll be hell explaining this situation to professor Crewel tomorrow, but for now, life is simply gorgling beast-twink belly.

[felixsecada]

He nods, understanding. Felix doesn't have a cover job, doesn't want on - but he respects those in the org that do. Gets it, even. It helps them out, especially in Santiago's case.

"Contemplatin'." He nods in affirmation. "They're chompin' at the bit for somethin', I know they are. Hell, sometimes I am, too." He hates what happened, how it happened, but it did crown him king. There's always a part of him that wonders how Andrea would handle it - would she hesitate, wait, plan? Or jump right in?

"So many fuckin' worries, Santi. Heavy is the head, et fuckin' cetera." He spits out a soft curse underneath his breath. "I don't want to go after the boy -" Tristan. "- He ain't scared enough yet. And now I've got the other shit with the laundromat attendant, too." He pauses, reaches for his toothpicks and chews at the end of one before speaking again. "Feels like if we don't move soon, they're gonna get cocky." Beat. "They're already cocky."

❝ Considering I spend most of my time here and the rest of it is split between home and operating rooms... no, not really. ❞ Santiago contemplated leaving his day job perhaps three times a day, but then he'd remind himself that it provided him with connections that could be good for business in the long run and convinced his spirit that staying was the better option. ❝ Are you still thinking of retaliation and the best course of action ? I know everybody's in your ear wanting action but, like I said before, it's better to take time and come up with a good plan than to act quickly and do a shitty job. Unless this is a different worry altogether. ❞ It was hard to figure out Felix these days.

[munsonhoneybaby]

Stress Relief | Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

Summary: after a long day at work, lee needs a bit of help unwinding.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: 18+ mdni, age gap (not specified, but reader is of age), smut, face-fucking/oral (m receiving), heavy daddy kink, praise kink, some degrading, light slapping, pwp

A/N:  when i say this is porn without plot, i mean this is pure filth and nothing else.

The slamming of the front door quickly let you know that you were in for a long night. When Lee came home agitated, you always were. Usually, though, you didn’t mind it. He knew exactly what you could take and he gave you just that, if only slightly more.

Stepping out of the kitchen slowly, you watched him kick off his shoes and drop his hat on the coffee table. “Everythin’ okay, Lee?” You asked hesitantly.

A heavy sigh left his lips, “Just a rough day at work is all, darlin’. One thing after another all damn day long.” He shook his head, shrugging off his coat before settling himself rather ungracefully on the couch. “Couple ‘a kids causin’ trouble. Frank Turner’s boy is finally old enough to become a deputy and he’s chompin’ at the bit. Someone new joinin’ is always a hell of a lot of paperwork and a pain in my ass.”

“Sounds like just another day bein’ sheriff,” You call from the kitchen. Coming back into the living room, you held out the beer you’d grabbed for him. “Leave work at work, Lee,” You cooed. “You’re home now, you should relax.”

“Yeah?” He set the beer aside, instead, pressing a hand against your lower back and guiding you to straddle his lap. “My pretty little wife gonna help me unwind?” A smirk curved the corners of his lips, his head tilting forward to nudge his nose against yours. “Gonna let the ol’ sheriff relieve some stress?”

“Of course,” You smiled innocently, “Anything you need, Daddy.”

He chuckled darkly. “Get on your knees then, darlin’.”

Without hesitation, you lowered yourself to your knees before him. Lee widened his stance, settling deeper into his seat on the couch as his legs spread further. Contently, you leaned your head against his inner thigh, waiting for further instruction from him. His hand cupped your face, his thumb softly stroking your cheek. He smiled, “Such a good girl, huh? My good little girl.”

Nodding quickly, you nuzzled into his palm slightly.

You watched eagerly as his large hands unbuckled his belt, unbuttoning his slacks afterward. Practically bouncing in your seat, you waited for him to pull his slacks and briefs down just enough for you to touch him. Immediately you reached for him but brought your hands back to your lap when he gave you a stern look.

“Good girls wait for permission, don’t they, darlin’?” He asked, slowly stroking his cock. Yet again, his lips split in a sly grin. He loved having you on your knees for him, seeing your lips pout and your gaze fall in shame and embarrassment when you knew you did something wrong.

“Yes, Daddy, ‘m sorry. Can I touch you, pretty please?” You rubbed your cheek against his inner thigh again, looking up at him pleadingly.

“No,” He answered curtly. “Not with your hands at least.” He grasped your jaw, pressing his fingers roughly against your cheeks. “Open that mouth for Daddy, little girl.” Obediently, you let your mouth fall open, sticking your tongue out slightly. Despite your mouth being wide open, your lips curled upwards when he slapped the head of his cock against your tongue a few times.

“You’re just fuckin’ filthy, ain’t ya, darlin’? You love your daddy’s cock, huh?” In response, you nodded as well as you could with his hand still grasping your jaw. “That’s good, ‘cause you’re gonna take all of it in that sweet mouth, ain’t ya?” You gave him another small nod.

As he slipped his length into your mouth, you closed your lips around it and slowly started to suck. He watched the way your cheeks hollowed around him, the way your fingers twitched against your thighs with the need to touch him. Lee Bodecker was a man with power, he knew that and he loved it. The power he had over you was just as enticing to him as the power he had in the office. And, just like in his position as the sheriff, he knew how to use and manipulate that power.

So, when your eyes fell shut, he placed a gentle yet firm slap to your cheek that had them snapping back open immediately. It wasn’t the first time he’d put you in your place in such a manner and it was never hard enough to hurt, but it shocked you every time. “You’d better keep those eyes on me, little girl. You know better.” With your mouth stuffed full of his cock you couldn’t respond, and he knew that, but you gave him a quiet hum of acknowledgment.

His hand moved to the back of your head, forcing you farther down on his length. Tears burned in your eyes and your throat contracted as you gagged on him. Impossibly, you managed to take all of him, the head of his cock repeatedly rubbing the back of your throat. Your forehead bumped the soft skin of the pudgy belly you’d come to love so much.

After a moment, he let you off, allowing you to take a few deep, ragged breaths. Looking up at him with glassy eyes, you smiled. “Am I doin’ a good job, Daddy?”

“Fuck yes, sweetheart. You always do such a  good job.” With his typical smirk, he guided your head back towards him again. “Now let your daddy fuck that mouth a minute longer, darlin’. Then I’ll take ya to bed and fuck ya real good, just like I always do.”

Leaning forward, you took his length between your lips once more. Along with his hand remaining on the back of your head, his hips lifted the slightest amount as he forced your head down as far as you could take. Lee seemed to relish in the sound of your gags, your eyes still on him.

Kneeling on the floor, you were quite the sight. Mascara was smudged messily around your eyes, your hands rubbed and squeezed at his thighs. You were even attempting to grind down against the floor to soothe the desperate ache between your legs. “Such a fuckin’ whore for me, huh, darlin’?”

You conveyed your affirmation in the slightest dip of your head, not able to nod completely with his length so deep in your mouth. Your hands lifted slightly to rub at his soft tummy, the bobbing of your head picking up speed without him having to guide you. The vein along the underside of his cock pulsed against your tongue, his entire length flexing as his thighs tensed on either side of you. He was close, so close.

Unfortunately, his hand tightened in your hair, tugging you off of him. “Get to the bedroom, sweetheart. Daddy’s right behind ya.”

Mumbling a quiet “okay” with a pout, you stood and headed towards your shared bedroom. As you walked, you could feel the familiar ache in your knees from kneeling on the semi-rough carpet.

A few moments later, Lee came in, his leather jacket having been shed in the other room. He found you sitting in the center of the bed, still wearing the pout that he always teased you for. “Now, what’s that frown for? Huh, darlin’?”

Looking down sheepishly, you mutter, “I wanted to make you cum.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, sweet girl. You’ll make me cum here real soon.” With a smirk, he nodded slightly towards you. “How ‘bout you come on over here, huh? I wanna get that dress off’a you.” Lee slowly walked to the foot of the bed, undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one as he did.

Obediently, you stood and approached him. With an adoring look, you let your hands rest on his chest, only the thin fabric of his white undershirt keeping your palms from his skin. “I love you, Daddy.”

One of his hands found the back of your head, guiding you into a deep, slow kiss before he spoke. “I love you, too, darlin’. Now turn around so I can unzip you.”

The warmth of his hands sent a chill down your spine as it met your shoulders. Your husband slowly tugged the zipper down until it reached the base of your spine, allowing him to graze his fingers along your bare back. “My pretty little wife. You’re too damn good for me, girl. Could’a been anybody’s, but now you’re mine. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Daddy,” You hum in return. “And there’s nobody else I’d rather be with. No other man in Knockemstiff could take care’a me the way you do.”

“Damn right, baby, and you’d best remember that. Nobody could love you the way your daddy does. ‘M gonna make ya feel real good. You deserve it after bein’ such a good girl for me.” He pushed the dress from your hips and let it fall to the floor, leaving you in simple underwear. You were slightly upset you hadn’t dressed up a bit more for him, but you also knew those last scraps of clothing would be taken off soon anyway.

His large hands grasped your hips and pulled you back against his body. “Any man in Knockemstiff would kill to get his hands on you, darlin’. I am one lucky man.” A warmth settled in the pit of your stomach and you nuzzled back against him. His nose dragged lightly along your cheek, “Now, how ‘bout you get on your hands and knees on the bed for me, sweetheart?”

As always, you followed his orders obediently, not that you didn’t enjoy it. The sound of his shirts falling to the floor was nearly inaudible, but the sound of his belt buckle following suit was impossible to miss. When you finally felt the bed shift with his added weight, your hips wiggled in anticipation and you bit down on your lower lip to stifle a grin.

His fingers traced teasingly up the back of your thigh, making you arch your back slightly more out of desperation. “Gettin’ eager, are you, darlin’? Need your daddy to touch you?”

“Uh-huh,” You whined out quietly.

“Needy little thing,” He chuckled.

You nodded, “Need you, Daddy. Need you inside me.”

Your hips jolted when he rubbed the head of his cock against your clit and yet another whiny plea left your lips. After teasing your hole with his tip for a brief moment longer, he slid in, making your head fall forward with a high-pitched moan. The stretch of him inside you hadn’t caused you pain in a long time, only leaving you with a pleasant fullness.

“Fuck, darlin’,” Lee groaned. “Always so damn tight for me. Takin’ my cock so damn good.”

“Love your cock, Daddy! Feels so good!”

His hand tangled in your hair, pulling you back until his soft stomach pressed against the curve of your back and your head fell to rest against his shoulder. “Yeah? You like havin’ your daddy’s cock in ya, babydoll? Ya sure are goin’ fuckin’ stupid for it.”

“So good, so good,” You whined.

“Just my cockdrunk little girl,” He continued. “Such a good girl, honey. Want ya to fuckin’ cum on my cock, then I’ll fill you up like I know you love.”

Each and every time he fucked you, Lee made sure that you were filled to the brim with his cum. He was getting closer and closer to forty every day and his optimism towards your chances of starting a family was dwindling more and more all the time, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try.

Desperate pleas and moans fell from your lips in a slurred mantra. One of your hands found Lee’s on your stomach while the other reached back to tug on the cropped hair at the base of his neck. He groaned as you clenched tightly around him, his fingers lacing between yours as you came.

“Yeah, darlin’, that’s it. ‘M gonna cum in this tight little cunt.” After rutting into you a few final times, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and came with a loud groan.

It took a moment for the two of you to catch your breath, the room going quiet except for your breathless pants. Lee eased the two of you down onto your sides, holding you close and letting out a satisfied sigh. “Ya always know just how to make me feel better, huh, babydoll?”

You smiled, snuggling close to him. Knowing that you helped Lee move on from his bad moods always made a warm feeling of pride and contentment settle in your chest. “You always take such good care’a me, Lee. I like gettin’ to repay the favor.”

[starrlikesbooks]

Let’s talk about upcoming books!

It’s hard to believe the year is nearly over, but it’s equally hard to believe that it’s somehow still 2020  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Either way, the new year means at least one good thing- cool new books!

Click the read more for a little on each and why I’m excited! And have a great new year! 💓🎉

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey is Gailey’s third full-length novel, and their second Adult novel. It’s an SFF story about a woman whose husband is cheating on her… with a clone of herself… which he made by stealing her research. The layers of betrayal! Obviously her and the clone have to kill him, what other choice do they have? I’m super excited for another one of Gailey’s fun, complex characters and the concept alone sounds so, so cool.

The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney I’ve already had the pleasure over reading and I am PUMPED to get other people to read it! This is a magical realism story about grief and baggage mixed with a southern (western?) gothic vibe with the town in the desert full of otherwordly “neighbors”. This is a beautiful story of PTSD and healing and as well as a lushly magic one.

The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore is another one I’ve already been lucky enough to get an advanced copy of. This is a magical realism story about the trauma of two characters’ unfortunately closely connected sexual assault. This one is heavy, and if you’re sensitive to stories involving rape and/or blackmail you may want to avoid it, but it’s well written and honestly an excellent story of healing and reflection.

Lycanthropy & Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal I…. have also already read! Sorry- I am just a very lucky reader of books! This is a really modern online friendship based story of a girl and her community of people with chronic illnesses, like the one that forced her to come back home from college. But it turns out her best friend’s chronic illness is a little… weird. I love the humor in this book, I love the characters, I love the representation of these illnesses and the online communities they form, and I honestly think that anyone who 1) like werewolves and 2) is still on tumblr will love this book.

Blade of Secrets by Tricia Levenseller combines three of my favorite things- bladesmiths, magical quests, and the author of The Shadows Between Us. A magical bladesmith takes a commission from someone far more dangerous than she knows, and winds up with an uber powerful sword able to steal secrets, on the run, and with some surprising friends. I can’t think of anything I don’t like from that, and I know I already love Levenseller’s characters, so!

Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater has… that title, but is also the sequel to Call Down the Hawk, Stiefvater’s Ronan Lynch centric TRC spin off. CDTH was incredible and ended with a massive cliff hanger, so I’m chompin at the bit for this book. More magical dreams! More disembodied voices! More murder and art theft and Declan Lynch failing at pretending not to be weird af!

May the Best Man Win by ZR Ellor has the potential to make me cry right from the get go. This is a MLM trans lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story and my God I’m vibrating. Basically it’s a battle for prom king between exes who had a messy break up because one of them ended their relationship in order to come out & transition. The cover is so cute and I’m ready for this to be fluffy and fun.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is McQuistion’s sophomore novel after Red, White & Royal Blue, so… obviously? This one is sapphic and involves falling for someone who is literally in the past. I trust McQuiston so much I’d need this book immediately even if the concept didn’t sound amazing, but I’m feeling blessed that it does!

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas is about being best friends with (and crushing on) a ghost while also coming out to yourself as trans. As an enby who likes ghost books- may I just say trans rights? This book also involved parental abuse, so beware if you find that distressing or triggering!

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury not only has a stunning cover and a main character who looks like she means serious business, but it’s a dark urabn fantasy about witches. The main character fails her ritual to come into her magic, she’s forced to kill her true love or strip her whole blood line. Ah, I love difficult choices, gray morality, and magic, so I’m already in love with this.

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson I’m astounded and super excited to know is going to exist at all. I loved the Truly, Devious trilogy, and while this isn’t exactly a part of that it is the same main character and it is still a mystery about an unsolved murder! Plus, I love summer camps, so a summer camp murder mystery makes me happy.

Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta is a sappic enemies-to-lovers about two girls on opposite sides of a war fought by giant Windups. This is a cyberpunk book of spies and pilots and gay love, and it’s also the first in a series!

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell is the third and (most likely) final book of the Simon Snow series and it’s gonna be GOOD. My only wish is for it to be about 500 pages longer because I want a full out door stopper of tying up loose ends.

The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters is the second book by the Ghost Wood Song author- which was on my most anticipated list for 2020 last year! That one was creepy and folky and queer, and this one looks to be the same. This one has a sister disappear and some strong magic to find out what happened to her, and if their mother was the one who did it.

Mark of the Wicked by Georgia Bowers is a dark fantasy about a girl who comes into her powers but has some different ideas about how she should be using them. I love morally gray or just plain dark main characters, so I’m ready to jump right on this one. This one also involves memory loss/blacking out and being framed, which always adds a cool mysterious layer!

Among Thieves by M.J. Kuhn involves queer, selfish thieves forced to band together. I have a soft spot for characters who are really flawed and don’t want to work together (especially if it leads into found family!) and this also has a slow burn sapphic relationship and a lot of possible betrayal in it, so I’ll probably go crazy from reading it.

Beyond the Ruby Veil #2 by Mara Fitzgerald doesn’t have a title yet but it does have a great plot to work off of. I loved the first book- which was creepy, had a completely awful, villainous main character, and full (I mean full) of murder- and it ended in a way that point to the sequel being just as good if not better. The first one had the quality of just watching the world burn, and I have a feeling this one’s going to be the same thing with maybe more flames. If you plan on picking up either of them, consider checking out the CWs, though!

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen got added to this immediately because Owen definitely gained my love and trust via The Merciful Crow duology, and I’m certain it’s going to be incredible solely because she’s a wonderful writer and her characters are a lot of fun- and speaking of characters, she’s already shared some drawings and info on them and they’re GREAT I cannot wait to meet them. This is a retelling of The Goose Girl story, from the maid’s POV!

Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan was originally on my 2020 most anticipated but then 2020 happened so… yeah. But it is actually coming out in 2021, as long as the world doesn’t end again (fingers crossed). Inspired by East Asian mythology, this one is about a dangerous cult, a peasant cursed to steal souls, and an exiled prince!

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta is going to be one of those cute, fluffy, feel good reads, which I think we probably all need about now. I love Capetta’s work and their very queer characters, and I love the idea of a magical baker both breaking up and then getting couples back together. Also, the MC is agender- we love to see it.

The Second Coming by André-Naquian Wheeler follows a teen with a traumatic past falling for a boy who might be the second coming of Jesus Christ. Honestly, I’m a little nervous about this one- but also I almost wrote my own queer second coming story, so who am I to talk? I don’t know much more about this book, but I’m excited to see what it turns out like!

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland

Summary:  The sequel to Dread Nation is a journey of revenge and salvation across a divided America.

After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler: Get out of town, stay alive, and head west to California to find her mother.

But nothing is easy when you're a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to a protected village called Nicodemus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880's America.

What's more, this safe haven is not what it appears - as Jane discovers when she sees familiar faces from Summerland amid this new society. Caught between mysteries and lies, the undead, and her own inner demons, Jane soon finds herself on a dark path of blood and violence that threatens to consume her.

But she won't be in it alone.

Katherine Deveraux never expected to be allied with Jane McKeene. But after the hell she has endured, she knows friends are hard to come by - and that Jane needs her, too, whether Jane wants to admit it or not.

Watching Jane's back, however, is more than she bargained for, and when they both reach a breaking point, it's up to Katherine to keep hope alive - even as she begins to fear that there is no happily-ever-after for girls like her (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ x1000

Overall: A killer sequel to Dread Nation, you’re constantly on the edge of your seat and each chapter is a new layer of stress. There’s never a moment of rest and repose because Justina Ireland hooks you with the first chapter and doesn’t let go until you’ve turned the last page.

~ Check out the spoiler-full review/plot discussion below!

The Bad: 

→ Redjack and Redfern

Geena: We’re starting with the bad because as Kae said ‘So much bad happens before the good’ and that’s the best way to describe this book. Let’s start off with our fave rogue from Dread Nation who turns out to be a WHOLE BITCH!!! Once Jane and Katherine and Co. get out of Summerland and meet up with him to plan their next move, Jane and them want to go to Nicodemus (a safe town run by a black man and a council of freed slaves and indigenous ppl). Redjack is like ‘it’s an overpopulated place let’s not’ but Jane isn’t dumb and sniffs out that there’s something else, and after Katherine and Jane both needle him we find out that… THIS BITCH IS MARRIED… AND HAS BEEN FOR A WHILE?????? ALL THE WHILE HE WAS FLIRTING AND MACKING ON JANE HE WAS MARRIED????????????? This is the start of the downfall of men in this book, it only gets worse from here… Jane confronts him about being played and he’s basically like ‘Jane you’re fun and all but like you’d never settle down, I seen you fighting and stuff just because you want to… I need a home for Lily’... and like… ok.... Jane is immediately like ‘He wanted a doormat’ and I DIED… but karma works fast and he gets bit by a shambler literally the same night lmao… and guess who kills him? JANE.. though it’s quite emotional because she had feelings for him. 

Jane also steals one of his letters when she kills him and kjnsfdskj we find out his wife is preggers but who’s gonna tell her that Redjack is capital d DEAD...  

Kae: Alright. MF’n REDJACK. This man… With his cute ass… He was just TRASH. A real fuckboy and Geena summed him up perfectly. I was like, a lil sad to see him go? But good riddance to him for playing my Janey Jane. She may be a tough-ass, but she absolutely has feelings (THAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH) but still. She has feelings. 

So now, let’s talk about Redfern’s shady ass. I’ve always side-eyed Redfern. I didn’t trust him. I had a very hard time trusting him because how you gone help The White Man ™  help enslave black and other indigenous peoples for your own gain? Like, boy fuck you. Shady ass. He’s the one that transported Jane, Katherine, and Red Jack to Summerland in the first place. So it was definitely a shock to see his fool ass in Nicodemus as the damn SHERIFF. LIKE WHO TF?

Geena: RIGHT I WAS LIKE WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE? IS HE CLONING HIMSELF??

Kae: And like, he jails Jane because when her and the gang arrive, the surviving folks of Summerland blame her for the small settlement falling to the dead. Redfern is like “Look, Jane. I know you ain’t do that shit. But I gotta jail you so they can stfu. You’ll get a fair trial.” And Jane doesn’t trust this and neither do I. Because black people didn’t get a fair ANYTHING back then. (We still don't) BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY. ANYWAAAAAAAY. Jane catches Redfern shooting the breeze with Miss Duncan and they eventually set her free. All the while, Katherine, a few homies they met in Summerland, and a few homies from Miss Prestons, are planning to break Jane out and BOUNCE. When Jane and Katherine finally reunite, Katherine is like “JANE. MY BESTIE. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” And Jane is like “Lol, yikes. We’re not even friends wtf?” Because again, Jane can’t handle feelings or people genuinely caring about her. That has a bit to do with mommy issues. NOW.  Jane has been trying to tell the council of Nicodemus that the horde of zombies will break down the wall that protects the city. But they’re like “HURR DURR SHUT UUUUP. We have machine guns. And that Gideon scientist boy has been keeping up gucci.” And Jane knows walls don’t hold forever. So she’s like we need to get TF up out of here. So she starts making a plan… And that’s when shit starts going south.

Geena: Like Kae said, Redfern is a traitor in all sense of the word… The only time he seems normal is when he’s hardcore crushing on Miss Duncan, but even then… He ends up telling Jane that he only cares about self-preservation and that’s why he’ll stab even his own mother in the back if it means he’ll be safe… OKAY HE DOESN’T SAY THAT BUT REDFERN 100% WOULD… Well kARMA GOT IT’S KISS FOR REDFERN TOO bc when Nicodemus falls, Miss Duncan also turns shambler so kjndsfkjsdfnsd

He ends up being a double agent near the end of the book, pretending to be Jane and Katherine’s ally, only to turn them over to the VILLAIN.. But then also helps them escape? A very morally questionable character and also another example of Deathless Divide saying ‘men aint shit’.

Kae: He triple crossed their asses. Triple agent mf 

→ The Fall of Nicodemus 

Kae: WHEWWWW. The fall of Nicodemus was something else. I knew it was going to happen, but damn, it was bad. So, we have bitchboy Gideon, who Jane has taken a bit of a liking to. And he wants her to convince the rest of the town to get a ‘Shambler Vaccine’ to protect them. She refuses because she has no idea if the vaccine really works. At least, not yet she does. So at some point, Gideon convinces all the people of Nicodemus to get vaccinated. But he vaccinates all of the original inhabitants of Nicodemus first, then the assholes from Summerland. But the thing is, he runs out of vaccines by the time he has to vaccinate the Summerland folk, and they’re being PISSY about it like “waaaaa, you vaccinated all the black folks before us, WAAA IM A FUCKIN BABY” so he hurries and makes a quick vaccine. Well, THIS QUICK BATCH TURNS THE FOLKS OF SUMMERLAND INTO ZOMBIES. THIS DUMBASS BITCHASS GIDEON TURNS THE DAMN PEOPLE. So he and Miss Duncan stuff them all in a barn or whatever, then DESTROYYYYYY the fence/wall in the back of the town to try to lead them out. Redfern helps too, I think. And then shit. Gets. Real. The machine gun they had isn’t holding them off and some damn zombies done came around the back entrance they created by destroying the fence, and they start CHOMPIN. 

Geena: AS KAE SAID… GIDEON AND DUMBITCH CO. MADE A WHOLE BACKDOOR FOR THE ZOMBIES IN AN ATTEMPT TO COVER UP HIS OWN MISTAKE… Reading about the fall was really sad, because this group of well meaning people WHO BTW AREN’T WHITE, that established a community where black and indigenous folk can find SOME SEMBLANCE of justice is overrun by zombies bc of a bitchass white boy’s hubris. So, the zombies get through the backdoor and as Jane and Katherine are slicing and dicing they stumble onto the group they traveled with.. Who also turned.. And Jane has to kill that little baby boy because he too, got turned into a zombie… Also, during the fall of Nicodemus Jane gets bit :( and separates from Katherine and Co. to die alone at the sheriff’s office… But then she doesn't… because back in book 1 when Gideon gave her a vaccine… it worked. So, Jane wakes up to Gideon… the last person she wants to see… who is basically gloating about his vaccine working and he’s making excuses for himself? Callie (a new friend) tries to kill Gideon, but he escapes and she ends up helping Jane instead… where Jane loses her arm :( 

Literally, a White Man’s ego can destroy a whole town built on the blood and sweat of freed slaves and indigenous people, JUST BECAUSE he thinks he knows better… 

Kae: So like, when Jane wakes up, she threatens to kill Gideon, even though she’s sick and basically puking the zombie virus out of her. While Gideon is gloating, Callie (Jane’s friend and future girlfriend) shoots towards Gideon, but misses. She then cuts off Jane’s bitten arm. The two of them spend a bit of time in the fallen Nicodemus, looking at all of the zombiefied townspeople and healing so they can leave. They both want to track down Gideon and KILL HIS ASS. Which I support. And now we venture into PART 2 OF THE BOOK BAYBEEEEE. 

The Ugly

→ Gideon

Kae: WE’RE GOING TO OFFICIALLY TALK ABOUT BITCHASS, SKANK-ASS GIDEON. Dawg, when I tell you I HAAATED this man, I mean it. I have never wanted a character to die more than I wanted Gideon to parish. This man caused the fall of not one, but MULTIPLE TOWNS AND THE WHOLE DAMN CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO. 

After the fall of Nicodemus, Jane and Callie set out to track down Gideon. On their tracking adventures, Jane becomes a bounty hunter in order to make money so she can continue on her search for Gideon. Jane is like, a hundred times more badass now. She’s a one armed, zombie slaying, bounty hunter that kills people who have done immense wrong to others. She and Callie learn through their travels that Gideon escaped safely and went on to get funded by some rich folk. In Gideon’s own escapades, he has caused the fall of another small town. And guess how he did that? This IDIOT vaccinated another town and they all turned ‘Shambler’ (zombie). Then he fucks off and escapes so he can’t get in trouble. Jane and Callie make it to California, where Jane hopes to reunite with her mother. There, she kills a man, which pisses Callie off. So while they’re shacked up in a hotel, Callie leaves while Jane is sleeping. And Callie’s punk ass takes all of Jane’s money with her, leaving Jane without anything but the clothes on her back. 

Geena: We don’t stan Callie in this house. If she loved Jane that much she would’ve left her SOME money wtf

Kae: TRUE. SO FUCK, CALLIE. LIL BIIIEEETCH. But yeah, Callie dips tf out and leaves Jane with nothing. Callie DID give Jane the option to come with her and start a new life, but Jane is kind of being fueled by her revenge and it’s blinded her. I feel bad too because Jane is also being haunted by Redjack’s ghost. So there’s that. 

Geena: Gideon the perfect example why ~intellectual~ men don’t deserve ANY rights. He’s so obsessed with his own research and bullshit, he thinks that no one knows what’s best for humanity other than him, that he brings about death and destruction wherever he goes. He’s the reason Nicodemus falls, he’s also the reason that the West Coast (which is seen as shambler free because it’s protected by mountains) also falls… BECAUSE THIS BITCH CAUSES ANOTHER SHAMBLER OUTBREAK with a faulty vaccine. When Jane and Callie decided to hunt him down I was like LIVING!!! LIKE KILL THAT WHITE BOY!! Who cares for nothing other than being successful… Also, the fact that every boy Jane has thought to be cute was trash is killing me… Girl… needs better taste HONESTLY…

Also, while trying to make himself look like a Sad Boy he forcefully injects his vaccine into Katherine… WHICH ALMOST KILLS HER, but SIIIKKEE because Katherine ends up killing him instead 😎 I personally wanted his death to be WORSE and more PAINFUL for all the shit he’s done but Justina Ireland kept it SHORT and Sweet. 

The Good

→ Jane and Katherine

Geena: THE ONE… THE ONE GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF THIS DUOLOGY… JANE AND KATHERIN’S FRIENDSHIP… LITERAL RIDE OR DIES... BC JANE TECHNICALLY DIES AT ONE POINT LMAO

Like Kae mentioned earlier, Katherine has fully accepted Jane as a friend by the time they get to Nicodemus, but Jane is still unsure (kinda thinks she isn’t a friend type of person). Katherin reaffirms that she will be there for Jane, but Jane is like Sideyes… But, as the story progresses, after Jane “dies” Katherine spends the rest of the novel constantly thinking of Jane and wishing she had said more.  ALL THE WHILE JANE is killing her way to the West Coast.

When they do meet though it kinda hurt because Jane is essentially like ‘Sorry, the old Jane can’t come to the phone right now... because she’s dead’ and Katherine is like ?????????. Jane believes herself to be a monster, because um… she’s just been bounty hunting bad people and because she’s driven by her rage against Gideon - IMO I don’t think that would’ve made her heartless or a monster, but Callie reiterates that she doesn’t like Jane like that (as a killer)… obviously, her resolve was weaker than Jane’s but n e ways. Katherine is also like ‘omg Jane killed that dude without remorse’ (Jane kills a r*pist in front of her, but Katherine doesn’t know what he did). REGARDLESS, uNLIKE SOMEONE (Callie) Katherine doesn’t give up on Jane and accompanies her wherever Jane goes because she knows she can bring back the old Jane and… when I tell you a bitch was emotional :’) AND ALSO THE ENDING WAS BEAUTIFUL though bittersweet

Kae: Okay, let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, that I absolutely adore Jane and Katherine’s friendship. Jane thinks it was built on their shared experience of being kidnapped, but in reality, it was built on their respect for each other. When Kate first saw Jane, she was SHOOK. And Jane was like ‘oh fuck, be cool. Act like you don’t care.’ and so that happened, as Geena explained above. But Katherine stuck around because that’s her best friend and you never give up on your best friend when they’re going through something. 

Jane continues to be a meanass to Kate, but Katherine ignores it to the best of her ability and pulls her knickers up and keeps by Jane’s side. In this, Katherine notices that Jane calls her by her full name instead of just “Kate”, which was something Jane always did because she knew it annoyed Katherine. So when Jane starts to let down her guard, she slips up and calls her “Kate” and this takes Katherine to the moon! She’s so excited to see her Jane coming back! But Jane is like “whoops, I'm showing feelings. Can’t let that shit happen” and she hunkers back down. 

While Jane was off being dead and bounty hunting, Katherine was on a boat (but I don’t remember doing what) with Lily and Sue (Sue is from Miss Prestons and Nicodemus) and her new friend, a man named Carolina. When they get to California, they realize that it’s not as black friendly as they’d hoped, but it’s presumably safe so that’s what matters. Katherine here’s that San Francisco might offer them a better life, so she and her gang make the trip to get there. That’s when they run into Jane and all the above happens. 

One of my favourite parts is Carolina not liking Jane because his first introduction is killing a man without hesitation. But Katherine is like “Pfffft, oh that’s just Jane! It’s FINE!” all the while internally she’s like ‘omgomgomg wtf’. And that’s when Katherine agrees to help Jane kill Gidon and also find her mother. 

In the end, they kill Gideon’s horrible ass and end up finding Jane’s mother safe and sound in a small settlement in the mountains called New Haven. Jane’s mother is happy to see Jane, but is totally dismissive of Jane's experience and all she had to do to get to her mother again. I felt really bad for Jane because she did EVERYTHING to get back to her mother and her mom was a DICK. Anyway, Jane leaves with Redfern so they can find a new place (as reluctant homies, not as a couple) and Katherine is like “AYO, YOU JUST GONE LEAVE ME WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE, BITCH? I SAID I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND SO WHERE WE GOIN!?” And then all three of them prance off into the sunset with a new goal of finding a better life and man, a bitch (aka me and Geena) were CRYIIIIING because it was so sweet and we just love two best friends who are down for one another.  

Geena: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS, the ending was bittersweet because like Kae mentioned, Jane had been searching for her mother and her Aunt Aggie hoping to find comfort in their arms. But.. when she got to New Haven, the old life she had been desperately longing for was no longer there. Aunt Aggie was dead and her mother had remarried, and like Kae said, she ignored everything Jane had been through- not wanting to share in her daughter’s sorrows. Jane quickly realized that this wasn’t the place for her, and up and leaves, and this is where the sweetness comes in because the whole scene of Katherine running after Jane 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Like I had been so scared Justina Ireland wouldn’t give them a happy ending, because how can a zombie story end happily, but this was A LOT better than what I had expected… a bitch (Kae and I SDJKFNSD) teared up.. Just wanna thank Kae for hyping up this sequel before I read it because wow… IT REALLY LIVED UP TO THE HYPE 

Conclusion

Geena: Like I said before, this is one of the best sequels I’ve read. Usually, books end up falling flat when you get to the second but Justina Ireland didn’t fall into the same trap. We finally get Katherine’s POV and get to learn why she insists on wearing a corset, and that she’s not as perfect as Jane believed. There’s heart-stopping action and Jane kicking major ass and truly being The Devil’s Bride. Overall, once I finished this I was like Head Empty because I couldn’t read anything afterwards because I had to take time to digest the wild ride the book had been. Also, one of the biggest takeaways (other than ‘white ppl ain’t shit’) was ‘Men don’t deserve rights’ and honestly? Same.  

Kae: So there we have it! The story ended beautifully and I really, really enjoyed it. I still haven’t been able to read anything after finishing it because it was just THAT GOOD. It’s been about a month since I finished it and I’m still reeling from how beautifully written it was. It was really refreshing to read about two black women who had FEELINGS and were able to express them to the reader (because they had a hard time expressing them to each other lmao) and it was just really nice. Katherine’s backstory was great about how she was born in a brothel house and her mother tried to teach her that if she found the right man, she’d be fine. But Katherine didn’t want that. She wanted a life where she could provide for herself and be independent. What she brought with her from her old life was her corset and she wore because she basically felt it would hold her together and suppress her anxiety. 

Geena: Also, reading about the corset again can I say one of my fave details was Sue helping Katherine loosen it whenever they were in a fight… like the moment Jane disappeared Sue was there to help Katherine and support her …. Sue… the most underrated character AND THE FACT SHE GOT HER HAPPY ENDING MARRIED TO A MANS!!!!  

Kae: Jane learned, unfortunately, that not all things are golden. Her old life that she so desperately wanted a taste of, had gone sour. Her mother was no help to Jane and couldn’t even give her the smallest of sympathies. Those two things were initially what kept Jane going (along with her Aunt Aggie), until Gideon showed up and started doing dumb shit. What Jane also learned though, was that people do care about her and even though Katherine wasn’t blood, she was her family and truly loved Jane for who she was, flaws and all. 

It’s a beautiful story about two black women finding themselves and forming an unbreakable friendship. It’s more than fighting zombies and more than surviving. It’s about LIVING and finding a way to deal with all of the problems and anxieties they face along the way. It's a great story and I urge everyone to read it. Yes, it’s fictional history about zombies. BUT, it is very telling of the time period it takes place in and Justina didn’t sugar coat any of the prejudices Black people and Indigenous peoples went through back then and I appreciated that. Deathless Divide is beautiful and poetic and heartwarming in the best of way. <3 

[pynkhues]

Head cannon request on Rio taking the cash and leaving the bourbon in the storage unit.

1. He’d only thought of the bourbon afterwards, walking homefrom the bar, his body still thrumming with the memory of hers.

2. Because he was always taking it back. Of course he was, heain’t ever been accused of being a bleeding heart, and more than a few milliondollars in monopoly money ain’t somethin’ he’s gonna part with lightly, notwhen he’s got legal fees pilin’ up and a crew chompin’ at the bit to get backto work.

3. Givin’ it to her in the first place had been mostly a curiosityduring the shutdown anyway. She’s fancied herself a boss before, with all herlady shoppers and however she got her hands on all that chemical shit (andreally, if he didn’t sometimes wonder how she did that), he wanted to see howmuch it would take for her to start acting like one again.

4. And he’d figured it out pretty quick, when his boys reportedstacks missing, and the bill numbers showed up in car yards and at wholesalers,and his ex had asked him what had him smilin’ like that when he’d gone to pickup Marcus, and he’d shrugged and told her she should know how much he likesbeing right.

5. He just wishes he could’ve seen her face though, directinghis boys to unload the cash from the truck, tongue darting out to lick hislips. Wishes he could’ve seen those eyes of hers widen, see if she lost herbreath, that pale neck of hers flush like it did when he usually pissed heroff, like it had when he’d buried his face in it, and he’s thrumming again,almost bouncing on his toes, because he’s going to see her tonight, and then?Then he’s back in business.

[thatslayer]

The Lesson || Michael & Faith

@hxbridized

                 Faith should be preoccupied. Vampire backed against the brick of an alley wall, and all. Game-faced and ready to tear her limb from bloody limb. She's not, though. Her fighting stance is loose and she's not paying as much attention as she should.

Doesn't have to.

    "Man, you're really chompin' at the bit to get at Dead Boy, eh? Look, this species ain't like those blue-eyed dudes. They're not all Matrix. Not all that bright, either, but they pass better as human until they go all monster-face." she gets a fistful of the vamp's jaw and slams him into the wall, again, pinning him so she can use her other hand to generally motion to his weak points, "Eyes'll blind, but they won't kill. You wanna cut the head off, stake to the heart or fire. Fire's just gonna make a mess. Best bet's a stake."

[quinintheclouds]

@indigopari​ Oh boy, do I have good news for you!!! They DO make stim toys for chewing and they are *chef’s kiss* Here’s my favorite site! It’s called Stimtastic, it’s run by actual neurodivergent people, and their line of chewelry (chewable jewelry for stimming) is TOP NOTCH. This is gonna sound like an advertisement but I love it so much so lemme fill you in on the magical world of chewy stim toys!

Stimtastic.co has a range of hardness so whether you’re a light chewer or a heavy gnawer, you’ll be able to find the right kind for you :D If you don’t know which you are, they have a handy guide here called What Kind of Chewer are You? (Also there are so many colors and designs for each, and they take suggestions for new ones!) They have options for light (here), moderate (here), and aggressive (here) chewing. If you scroll to the bottom of the site you can click links for each. And they’re super easy to clean, just hot water and soap!

The UFO is my favorite light chew, and there are little raised stars on the back which provide variety and are GREAT if you tend to rub your tongue on textures (which I do -- my tongue bleeds sometimes bc I rub it along my jagged teeth too much, so chewelry helps!) This is a light one, but I’ve chewed on it heavily before and it’s been like 2 years, and only one of the stars on the back has come off, and that’s only because I chewed it so hard lol

OOOH, they have a new one!! It’s a rainbow Lego light-moderate and now I want it :o It’s only $5, maybe I’ll get it...

I love the music notes, too! For light-moderate chewin’

Look at this cute lil jellyfish in the moderate section!

The donut ones are a bit on the harder side of moderate-aggressive (imo) and there are a bunch of colors :)

I’ve tried a couple aggressive chews, but those are a little harder on my teeth (very durable, though!!) so here’s a few if ya like chompin’ (there are more, though! Like the macaron ones)

Idk how well bracelet chews work, but I bet that pendant on the far right has some very Good textures o.o

The Phoenix Pendant looks super cool, too:

Anyway, enough of me rambling :P I hope this helps!!! Every time I use a chewy necklace I find that I can focus SO much more, and that I don’t feel the need to be constantly snacking for dopamine like OP was talking about :D

@stimtastic​ is their tumblr! Stimtastic.co is their website :)

Idk if this is an adhd thing or what (probably tbh) but anyone else just. Feel the constant need to snack whenever you sit still and do something that's not engaging enough?

Like when I'm out and doing stuff I'm fine, when I'm really focused on something I'm also fine (to the point where I'll just forget to eat sometimes) but if I just sit down on the couch to read or scroll the internet or when I do work that's not interesting enough or whatever I just. Need snack. Even if I just ate, even if I'm not hungry.

Maybe it's the added engagement I of my hands getting to do something (take the food and put it in my mouth) maybe it's engaging my sense of taste and smell and that combined with whatever else I'm doing is enough stimulation for my brain or maybe I'm just addicted to sugar and salt. Either way the solution is probably not to try to ride out the need for snack (bc I lose that fight 95% of the time) and instead just always have nuts and raisins around I guess so at least I eat something a bit healthier

[distancewillfixthis-deactiv-blog]

Coffee Shop Family Dinner: Part I.

distancewillfixthis

“Alrigh’… you guys ready?”

“Are /you?/” Stepping outside of Galway’s black Audi and closing the door behind him, Ewan gave his older brother a challenging look from over the hood of the car; brows quirked, lips curled in a smile; only to find Galway not half as amused, brows pulled together in something that looked like restrained concern.

“Alreet, alreet – divvin’ get up a height.” He clapped the man’s shoulder as he stepped past him, “mum and I ganen be canny.”

“Speak fer yoursell.” Fiona, having stepped out of the back seat beside her oldest son, stopped to gently rest her hand on Galway’s large bicep before tilting her head back as to catch his gaze. With herself punching in at 5’3 and her youngest at 5’8 – suffice it to say the height must’ve come from Galway’s father’s side of the family. “It ganen be alreet, duck. There’s nothing abou’ you fer his paren’s no’ tae like.”

“I know, I know…” he didn’t, really – but what else could his mother have to say to him? “Jus’---“

“You want ‘em tae like you. ‘Course you dee. But you’ve go’a stop worryen, alreet? It won’t dee you any good.”

“Righ’, bu’, mum…”

“Aye, aye – speek /English./” Rolling her eyes, she finally let her arm drop back to her side before following Ewan across the driveway – Galway soon to follow. “You knew, if anythen, /I/ should be a-one offended by /your/ accent.”

Having stopped at the foot of the few steps leading to the front door, Ewan crossed his arms over his chest and waited for his brother to lead the way. “If anythen, our English is more propah than theirs.”

Stepping past, Galway sighed; pausing as to give his brother one final look of warning. Perhaps, if things were being misunderstood, it was better to address Ewan speaking his own language. “Divvin’ be a workyticke’.”

With that, he smoothed over the nonexistent creases in the front of his sweater; all too used to tending to his suit; before stepping up to the front door and giving it a few soft knocks. /Please remember you promised you’d answer the door for us. Please, please, please./

ikepostle

Isaac had been expecting a text. The longer he went without one, the more nervous he became -- which was strange. The Redman's were very open to this meeting, even his mother, Jackie, who was less than thrilled her son had turned out to be gay... even she could see the importance of such a gathering, and had clucked all day making the house and meal perfect.

 /But why isn't he texting?/

 Leaning against the kitchen counter, Ike was in the process of evaluating his own text message, gauging how worried it sounded, when he heard a soft knock on the door under the gold rock'n'roll playing for the living room. Jackie turned from the stove where she stirred gravy, and Ike beamed a smile her way.

 "I'll get it." She hummed a little sound that Ike found he couldn't read the meaning behind, before he hustled from the kitchen and down the hallway to the front door. He hovered there for a second, resisting the urge to catch a look of himself in the mirror by the stairwell. /Relax/. He grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. Three gingers of varying ages and likeness stood before him, wearing similar expressions... exempting his boyfriend, who looked endearingly nervous.

 "Hey, guys..." He stepped forward to touch Galway's arm. "Hope no one's nervous."

 distancewillfixthis

A thin, tightly-pressed smile that meant nothing but nerves. “No’ too much.”

 “Who could be nervous with such a handsome gadgie welcomen them at the door, ey? Come here and give us a kiss.” Stepping forward, Fiona touched her hand to Isaac’s arm before pushing up on the tips of her toes as to place a small peck on his cheek; patting him ever so slightly when she lowered herself back down to stand on her feet. “Divvin’ you look smashen?” Turning her head, she looked to Galway over her shoulder. “Divvin’ he?”

 “Aye mum.” A small, nervous laughter and a coy glance Isaac’s way, as though meant to apologize for the attention his mother hadn’t stopped lavishing on Isaac from the moment she set foot in the country. “Quite ‘andsome.”

 ikepostle

Isaac smiled warmly, his hand transferring from Galway's arm to Fiona's, holding her steady as he leaned a little to offer his cheek in a little kiss. The custom was strange, but endearing, and he found he had taken a shine to the woman as soon as they had met.

 "Thank you, the pair of you." A soft squeeze to Fiona's arm before he searched for Ewan's gaze. "And you, think I look alright?" His modest smile stretching to a grin.

 distancewillfixthis

“Eh.” Ewan shrugged, waving his hand between them in a gesture meant to indicate so-so. “Personally, I wouldn’t dare leaven me yem withou’ me face on, if I were you.” Then, with a grin equally wide, he offered his open hand to Isaac. “Alreet, man?”

 ikepostle

Isaac was careful not to let it should that he didn't /entirely/ understand just what passed between them. But he was adept enough to read the tone of voice, and gratefully stuck out his hand to give Ewan's a shake. "Mhm. Doing alright. Better now." A little pump of their hands before he stepped back towards Galway and the slightly ajar door. In the living room, he could his father grunt as he stood up, and then the telltale creaks in the old floor as he made his way over. "Showtime.." Ike said softly, casting an encouraging smile in Galway's direaction just before Gordon Redman appeared at the door.

 "Jumpin' Jesus," Gordon said at once, his grey hair hidden under a ballcap, but his smile beaming below the brim. "You gonna keep them out in the weather, Ike? Come on in, then. Don't mind the boy's manners..." His eyes dragged up Galway and the smile remained perfectly even; an older echo of Ike's smile. "You must be the important fella, put her there, Galway." His hand out to grip his.

 distancewillfixthis

Jesus, that was strange – seeing a vague, partial version of Isaac in this man’s face -- stranger, even that a wave of relief should wash over him similar to the same sense of calm Ike induced for him. Then, suppose the answer as to why that was was an easy one – Mr. Redman was being kind, nonjudgemental – and the antsy feeling in his gut mellowed some at the kind words.

 “Mistah Redman, sir.” With a wide smile, however crooked and awkward, not unlike the smile that kept appearing on his face in his and Ike’s first date, he took the offered hand with a strong grip and shook it firmly. “Pleasure’s all mine.”

 ikepostle

"I doubt that," Gordon said companionably. "And Gord suits me better." A sturdy shake, despite the way Galway's hands engulfed the other. Another moment before Gordon looked around the group, his gaze settling on that of a short woman who held much of the beauty and /Englishness/ Gordon had been expecting. "And you must be..."

 "Fiona." Ike offered.

 "Right, thanks. Fiona." He reached to shake her hand as well. "You folk enjoying your trip?"

 distancewillfixthis

“Aye, very much so, Gord.” Shameless, lips curled in her own cheeky little smirk, the small ginger woman accepted the offered hand with a shake much gentler than that of her firstborn. “It’s absolutely lovely up here, your yem -- excuse me, your /home/ included.” A pause, only a few seconds long, as she turned her head to glance at Ewan before returning her full attention to the man before her. “Me youngest -- Ewan.”

 “Very kind’a you to have us, sir.” Hurriedly, perhaps a tad too much so, the young man extended his hand for a shake.

 ikepostle

"Wait 'til you see inside, reserve your judgement." He wasn't unaware how tacky his home could be. Due, mostly in part, to his wife and the way she collected knickknacks from thrift shops and church benefits. Little porcelain statues and too many mirrors and clocks decorated most of the walls and shelves. The smell of lavender and wild flowers often times strong enough to force Gord out on the back patio for his morning coffee. But it was home... a warning was still necessary.

 He turned to give the younger lad a good shake. "Glad of you to make time for us. Most families around here don't meet until the marriage." He tipped a friendly wink at Galway while he released Ewan's hand. "It's a treat, to be sure."

 distancewillfixthis

“O’-- uh --“ Already stuttering, Galway fiddled about with a paper bag he’d carried from the car – before retrieving a bottle of liquor and crumpling the bag in his free hand. “From us --well, from mum -- all the way from Sco’land. Best whiskey there is.”

 “Hope it isn’t too presumptuous.” Fiona added with a small modest smile of her won. “Just tha’ we’re from the northeast and, well… you knew wha' they say abou' us Limeys. We drink like we divvin’ want tae live.”

  ikepostle

"Oh, wow..." Gordon took the bottle and read over the label while Fiona spoke. He offered her a vaguely quizzical look, though his smile didn't diminish in the slightest for it. Ike was peeking over his shoulder to have a look.

 "Looks tasty. We should spread some shots around before Leah gets home."

 "Good idea, son. Thanks for this. Let's get you rabble inside now, come on. Jackie'll be chompin' at he bit to meet you."

 distancewillfixthis

With an equally quizzical look and honest smile, Fiona dipped her head in agreement before stepping closer to Gordon and gesturing her head towards the general living room area. “Lead the way then, Gord.”

 The tips of his fingers brushing only barely against the back of Ike’s wrist, Galway shot him a short look before grabbing at the hem of his sleeve and keeping him from following the rest as Gordon showed them away from the door. Voice but a hush, he breathed, “C’mere a moment…”

 ikepostle

Gordon led them inside, and Ike could hear them walking towards the kitchen while his dad explained the meal they had prepared for them later. His voice trailed off as he stepped closer to his boyfriend, bright blue eyes looking curiously up into his face.

 "What's up, babe?"

 distancewillfixthis

“Nothin’…” with a /but/ clearly soon to come, he smiled, faint and soft, before taking Isaac’s hand in his; voice still low and quiet, meant for the other’s ears alone. “‘cept me mum stole that kiss at the door…”

 ikepostle

"Oh, okay... " His hand tightened over Galway's, squeezing at him affectionately. "You're welcome to steal your own..." He leaned up, pressing a kiss to his bearded chin...

 distancewillfixthis

Dipping his head, free hand rising to caress Ike’s strong jaw, he kissed softly at his upper lip; pulling back only momentarily before pressing another kiss against his lips; and a third… and a fourth… “Missed you, you know?”

 ikepostle

His smile softening as the kisses kept coming, lips needfully pursing to take as much of that affection as possible. "Missed you, too. Weird not sleeping in our place." Because even if Galway is gone for the night, his smell is still there, all their stuff is still there... "You look really nice, too. My Mom's gonna wonder how I got so lucky."

 distancewillfixthis

Clicking his tongue in a dismissive manner at the compliment, he remained close still, mouth hovering not too far from Ike’s, fingers intertwining in his. “Stop it. I’m already swea’in’ bullets…” But a smile was stretched across his lips nevertheless, soft and smitten, and he plucked yet another modest kiss from Isaac’s lips. “Think your folks are doin’ alrigh’ with those two? I’ve told them to cool it with the accent, bu’… migh’ need a transla’or still.”

ikepostle

He laughed softly, leaning up for another kiss, which he stole. "Oh, they'll be fine...funny they should meet my mom before you do..." And then another kiss before he sort of leaned away to look at his boyfriend seriously. "You have nothing to worry about, okay? My mom... she's hard to read. Just stay just as you are, okay? She'll warm up... Especially with that booze..."

 distancewillfixthis

He couldn’t help but make his small huffy noises at that -- though he knew, however vaguely, about the complex relationship there – the fact that Isaac should still try and encourage and reassure him was exactly what he needed at that moment, more than the meaning of the words themselves – the mere notion that he was there for him, had his back. Blindly, he reached and took the man’s other hand in his as well. “Don’t worry abou’ it. I’m sort of trained to ‘andle stressful situations.”

 ikepostle

Ike laughed, and gave both of his hands a little squeeze. This was different, they both knew that. But he wouldn't say as much. He just leaned up for a final kiss before leading him back into the house. "Well, let's meet the ol' hen and get it over with... oh, don't tell her I called her that..."

 distancewillfixthis

“Me lips are sealed.” Hand wrapped tightly around Isaac’s, he followed; the faint, muffled voices of his mother and Gordon and a new, third voice coming from the kitchen. The smile remained on his face still; partially because Isaac was holding his hand still; partially because he had been instructed to remain just the way he is, and intended to do just that.

 ikepostle

Holding Galway's hand, Ike led them to the kitchen. His father sat at the round table tucked into the corner next to Fiona, then Ewan on her other side. His mother stood by the stove inspecting the bottle Galway's family at brought over. She blinked up the the men as they entered. Her grey eyes scanned over Isaac's boyfriend without expression. Ike felt his stomach twist a little. But then just smiled a little.

 "Hi, boys."

 "Hey, Mom."

 "Well, introduce us." Voice neutral, no malice to detect anywhere. She set the bottle on the counter-top.

 "This is Galway, Mom. Galway, this is Mom. Jackie."

 distancewillfixthis

“Missus Redman, ma’am.” Smile still very much fixed on his lips, very much bright and natural, he extended a large palm her way. In truth, he felt as though he were being examined; not unlike the several taxing tests and exams he had to take to get into the agency. Still, he had coursed through those; he could course through this with a smile on his face. “Thank you for ‘avin’ us all ‘ere. Been wai’in’ for this day a long while.”

 ikepostle

She reached her hand to shake his. A delicate shake, but not dainty. "Is that so?" She turned away only to retrieve a stack of shot glasses on the highest shelf.

 "Lemme get those, dear---"

 "Sit down, it's alright." She snatched them and set them on the counter. She addressed Galway over her shoulder. "You know, you're the first gentleman Isaac has ever brought home. I'm not sure if that says something about him, or you."

 "Or us." Gord added. Jackie gave him a loving, patient look.

 distancewillfixthis

“I can only ‘ope it’s the la’er, ma’am.” Though the smile was still present, he could feel his face begin to grow warm – which only went to make him more nervous which, in turn, only worsened the burning sensation that spread all the way down his neck and across his chest. The first man Isaac had ever brought home, to his religious mother… he felt the small box in the pocket of his trousers press into his hip and swallowed. Please let this night go well. /Please./

 “Isaac is the first gen’leman Galway’s ever introduced to us.” Fiona pitched in with a modest smile on her lips. “Mebbies it says somewhat about the both of ‘em.”

 ikepostle

Perhaps too old to be entirely polite, Gordon chuckled at that word and repeated it in a warm, humourous tone, "mebbies. I've taken I liking to that straight away." Jackie at once rolled her eyes in a dramatic way, her contribution to the joke before during back to the bottle of liquor.

 "Ike, dear, open this for me, would you? I was in the garden all day and my knuckles are spent."

 "Sure, Mom." He cast a smile to Galway before making his way to the counter with his mother.

 Jackie went on. "Isaac said you work for the government?"

 distancewillfixthis

The entirety of the redheads present in the room smiled at Gordon’s taking to their clearly strange ways, as Galway has been sure to make evident. Fiona gave a soft chuckle before leaning back in her seat. Galway had certainly been more a handful than his younger brother – more a workyticket – but on occasions – for example, every time he stated his profession – it seemed to be all worth it. She had done well with her boys, all things considered, hasn’t she.

 “Yes, ma’am.” Though his hands gathered in the small of his back immediately in the military at-ease position, he attempted to shift his weight to just one leg as not to appear so stiff. “Field agen’ for the CIA.”

ikepostle

"Sounds like dangerous work." She said absently, though with a touch of respect. By comparison, her children had not reached such levels. The one beside her spent more time volunteering his money than spending it. And the other, well, she was barely capable of taking care of herself. Jackie felt a touch of shame, but wouldn't let her eyes drop from the massive man standing in her kitchen. "I'm sure it keeps you busy."

 "Not too busy," Ike interjected. "He does good work. So I don't mind if he stays out late some nights." Gordon laughed politely and Jackie's mouth formed a small smile. "These are ready." The shots lined up primly. "Here you go, Fiona. Ewan." He stepped close passing a small glass to each.

 distancewillfixthis

“Much apprecia’ed, pet.” Said Fiona with a slight dip of her head; a faint ‘cheers, ma’e’ from Ewan; Galway watching Isaac lovingly but silently all the while. He had been so forgiving of his work, of the long hours and secrecy and, well… other things he currently did not want to think about -- he had to resist the urge to take Isaac’s hand in his yet again but, rather, opted to help serve everyone with their drinks.

 “Wha’ shall we toas’ to, then?”

 ikepostle

"Red-heads." Ike said at once, grinning. He moved to stand closer to Galway, touching his spare hand to the small of his back just barely.

 "Seconded." Gord said around a sniff. "Sure smells toxic. My years tell me that's a good thing. What was it you said about this stuff, Fiona? Northern delight?"

 distancewillfixthis

“I divvin’ knew abou’ deligh’…” She joked, smiling brightly at the flattering toast. “To redheads, then. And to fam’lies.”

 “I’ll cheer to tha’.” Albeit something of a wild card – Galway’s mother always seemed to know the right thing to say and, for a moment, he let the full gravity of this gathering sink down in the deep of his chest. Raising his own glass, he leaned only slightly into Isaac’s hand; watching him momentarily from the corner of his eye and smiling softly.

 ikepostle

It felt corny, the whole thing. Felt sentimental and cheesy and wonderful. Nothing from this family felt forced, and the meshing would be inevitable. Ike could see that now, as he took the shot in one healthy gulp. It burned like a bitch and he, admittedly, gave a little cough. His father made a chuckling sound a signaled for another, which Jackie moved to attend to.

 "Hey, Mom... when did Leah say she'd be home?"

 "She didn't."

 "Huh?"

 "She didn't say. 'However long it takes', were her words. You know how those things go." She handed her husband another shot and looked at Fiona and Ewan in turn. "My daughter's a drug addict. She's at one of those 12 step---"

 "Jackie---" His shot halted hovering between his mouth and the table. "Leah's just got a bed of issues. She's on the mend. Staying here until she's back on her feet."

 distancewillfixthis

There fell silence in the room, all eyes given to the three adults seated and standing by each other; Ewan utterly dumbstruck; Galway slowly swallowing the shot that has been stuck in his throat and reaching his own hand to creep behind Isaac’s back and rest finally on the curve of his waist. So that was the reason why she were staying with their folks… fuck. What did one even say to something like that?

 “We divvin’ judge.” Fiona replied simply, meeting Gordon’s gaze, then Jackie’s, with shameless confidence and honesty. “Everyone has their struggles. God knoos this fam’ly isn’t perfect.” Momentarily, she glanced at both her boys; the one by her side and the one standing beside his spouse; before leaning back in her seat and turning back to the Redman parents. “She’s here now, and she’s tryen, and tha’s wha’ truly counts. Righ’?”

 ikepostle

"We'll see." Jackie said at once. Leah had tried before, and had fallen on her ass just as many times. And at her age, you start to wonder whether she wanted to get better at all, or if it was simply easier to become a slave to this touch-and-go lifestyle. The ups and downs were as addictive as the drugs, or so Jackie believed.

 "She's a good kid, we weren't taking digs at her." Gordon resumed, casting a look at Jackie. "And you know it isn't 12 Step. Those bible humpers insist she can't ever have fun again. That's not the way to master an issue. Just makes her a walkin' timebomb."

 "An alternative program," Ike said, leaning into Galway a little. "Nothing spiritual. Think it's just sitting around telling stories and stuff. I don't know. She doesn't talk about it too much."

 distancewillfixthis

“We’ll all be ‘appy to meet ‘er, regardless.” Giving a small squeeze to Ike’s middle, Galway cast a cautious look around the room. Pausing, even if only secondly; he had to consider his words heavily. This was the worst possible time there could ever be to bring /that/ particular subject up… and yet, he felt as though there was something he had to put to words. “I mean… no’ to sound presumptuous, bu’… I mean, I love your son, Mis’er Redman, Missus. I’m… pre’y sure tha’s it for me. I don’t plan on goin’ nowhere. So… S’ppose wha’ I’m tryin’a say is, Leah’s me own fam’ly, too, now.”

 ikepostle

Another silence met the room. This one had Jackie glancing briefly to her husband, who was looking proudly at the man his son was leaning again. Ike had turned and twisted his neck to look at Galway properly.

 "That's really good of you to say, Galway." At his name, Ike's voice broke a bit, and he hurriedly swallowed, before any emotion could overwhelm him. But his eyes did prickle, far at the back, and he leaned up quickly to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

 "Very kind," Jackie said. Her smile was soft, but more warm than it had been all evening. "We appreciate that sort of kindness here. Very Catholic of you."

 distancewillfixthis

He smiled a thin smile, and though it was not dishonest; it was definitely tinged with something more other than happiness and humor. Anxiety, perhaps, at the sudden burst of honesty and emotion; perhaps simply because he had expected this bringing together of families to go… well, more smoothly. Suppose some things were out of his control; suppose this is as smooth as it got, considering the circumstances.

 “Well, mum raised us on good Christian values, ma’am.” The fact that he’d bailed on said Christianity before he were even ten was perhaps a story for a different time; and even then, it remained true nevertheless. Rubbing the curve of Ike’s waist in retort to the small kiss, his smile grew slightly broader. “An’ I’ll be ‘onored to become a part o’ this fam’ly, if you’ll ‘ave me.”

 ikepostle

Jackie cast a new look in Fiona's direction. Something not laden with jealousy or scrutiny, but something softer, something a little more proud. A Christian family, then. That would do alright.

 /We'll have you/, Ike thought.

 Gordon sat at the table still, spinning his shot glass idly. "You make the kid happy, then you're welcome to stay as long as you like." He grinned and looked at his wife. "Isn't that right, Jack? Think we could repeal that rule about girls in Ike's room? Or, gentlemen, rather?"

 "Gordon!" But there was that warmth again, as she turned from the group and attended to the food cooking in and on top of the stove.

 distancewillfixthis

Fiona met Jackie’s gaze; not so much with a sense of familiarity – but perhaps, with the slight sort of warmth that came with a shared secret. She too had tried raising her children the wholesome Christian way – and though she did not exactly think she had /failed/ in that – suffice it to say her sons, the oldest in particular, had made their own way. If anything, she felt proud of Galway in this moment – proud of the man that reckless scrawny boy had become.

 At Godron’s words, however, Galway’s smile stretched into a full-blown grin, and he made a quiet huffing sound and looked shortly Isaac’s way. His family would have him -- or Gordon would, in any case, and Jackie did not protest -- which was just as well. “Thank you, sir… Gord. I apprecia’e tha’.” Now that some of the tension had been lifted – surprisingly, by yet another of his overtly-open confessions (well, it /was/ how he’d gotten Ike, wasn’t it?) – things felt a little lighter. “Would you be needin’ any ‘elp with anythin’, ma’am?”

ikepostle

“I'm almost done. Would you boys would bring those dishes to the living room and set up..." Gordon pushed up from his spot at the table and Jackie at once turned to him. "Not you, old man..."

"Mind yourself, woman. I'm just checkin' the whiskey." He gave her side a little squeeze as he went to inspect the bottle again.

Ike untangled from Galway and grabbed some plated from the counter and gestured with his chin to the utensils.

"Grab those, would you, babe?"

distancewillfixthis

“I wouldn’t mind another shot mesell, Gord, if you’d be so kind.” Fiona’s voice fading somewhat behind them as Galway grabbed the silverware and followed Isaac to the living room. Gaze turned downwards as he arranged them carefully along each plate Ike placed on the table, his lips curled in a soft, faint smile.

“You know all I said in there was jus’ to win your fam’ly over, righ’? I mean, no’ tha’ I actually love you or anythin’.”

ikepostle

Ike laughed lowly and spared a glance over his shoulder to his boyfriend. He had appreciated how well he had handled Ike’s mother. And while he could have said nothing at all, it had meant a lot to Ike how open Galway had been.

“Deceit and manipulation? Now /that’s/ very Catholic of you.”

distancewillfixthis

“Mind, mum’s Anglican.” As in, not quite Catholic. As in, only mum. He’d expressed his disdain and disheartenment with the church from a pretty young age; and though Ewan still accompanied their mother on Sundays once every few weeks, he was pretty certain his younger brother did that mostly for Fiona’s sake than anything else. “Bu’ I figured, why ruin the moment, ey?”

ikepostle

“It’s all the same to us outsiders, isn’t it.” He spoke absently, shaken for a moment, before redirecting his attention fully on Galway. “You did really good out there. That was the first test. And I think you thawed her a bit.”

distancewillfixthis

“Babe.” Placing the last of the utensils in its appropriate place, he moved away from the table and turned to face Isaac properly, both hands reaching to rest on his hips and draw him closer. He met his gaze, not heavy-headedly, but seriously. “I meant it, though, yea’? I mean this. I love you. No ma'er ‘ow or 'o your fa'mly is or 'ow they take to me…”

ikepostle

Ike’s arms went out, wrapping around Galway’s shoulders, and never once did his eyes ever pull from his. He was happy to look at him, even if the back of his eyes were pricking a little. “I love you, too. And.. I know. I know this is a heavy night but… but it doesn’t really matter either. I love you. You’re everything.” He leaned in to peck his chin. “It’s bonus if everything goes well.”

distancewillfixthis

“Exactly.” Lips curling in a soft smile, he dipped his head as to catch Ike’s lips in his own for but a brief moment. /I love you. You’re everything./ He wanted this night to be special, memorable – wanted both their loved ones to witness this special moment he’s planned for months – and yet… he found it took incredibly amounts of self-restraint not to get down on one knee right then and there.

“For wha’ it’s worth, love – you ain’t go'a talk to me abou’ these things, bu’, if you want… you know you can, yea’?”

ikepostle

He was touched. It seemed, from the very start, it was easy to feel so moved with Galway. He knew his way in, and he knew how to stay there. He tightened his hold around Galway’s head and leaned a little closer.

“I know. I just… I don’t know what to say most of the time.”

distancewillfixthis

“That’s alrigh’.” Hands snaking their way around Ike’s middle to the small of his back, he made one little step into him; dipping his head once more as to press a soft kiss to the space above Isaac’s upper lip. “Even if you don’t say nothin'… you’re no’ alone. Alrigh’?”

ikepostle

“I know.” He said again, this time speaking through a smile as he leaned up to kiss properly at his boyfriend. he tasted like that whiskey, and, without surprise, Ike thought it tasted much better off of his lips. “Let’s get back before they wonder if I’ve kidnapped you up to my room… there really was a no girls allowed rule you know…”

distancewillfixthis

“Good thing I’m no girl, then.” Smile so wide it seemed almost painful, he stole one last, hurried kiss before finally allowing his hands to slowly drop from around Ike’s middle and back to his own sides. “I’d still like to see it… where you grew up 'n all.”

ikepostle

“Sure you’ll get a chance. After dinner or something I can take you up there. Mom got sort of creepy with it and preserved most of our… stuff…” he trailed off when he heard the front door open, gaze drifting from Galway and looking towards the entrance to the room. The front hallway intersected there and he saw a shadow on the wall. He smiled brightened.

“Leah?”

“Hm? Ike?”

“Come on,” Ike said to Galway, grabbing him by the hand and taking him towards the front door. “Big sissy is back…” The two men rounded the corner and Leah stood looking at them. She looked thin, almost gaunt, and the sight, despite how Ike had become accustomed, always startled him a little. He revealed none of that on his face. Her dyed black hair was tied back in a messy bun, unkempt curls hanging down her neck and by her ears; a smudge of makeup over each eye casting them dark, darker than her hoodie, which was a faded black. She had blue jeans on and ancient looking sneakers.

But she smiled when she saw them, and Ike smiled right back.

“Ikie…” Her voice was scratchy, like she had smoked too much and drank too little that day. And when she leaned in to hug her little brother, he got a full whiff of the cigarette scent. “Look at you, not even bothered to dress up?”

“And leave /you/ sticking out like a sore thumb?”

distancewillfixthis

In truth, she looked nothing like he’d imagined. She was gruffer than Isaac who, despite the tattoos and bleached hair and band shirts, had a soft quality to his features; his eyes and lips, mostly, promised a soft kindness… this he knew all before ever even having asked him out that morning at the café. He probably just imagined Ike shorter, with longer hair and a pair of breasts – and though realizing how foolish that had been, the difference was still striking.

It did nothing, however, to take the smile off his face or the red from his cheeks; and he waited, patiently and silently, for Isaac to introduce him; not wanting to butt in or ruin the moment which obviously meant something to the both of them.

ikepostle

“Don’t get smart,” she intoned, though there was no steel in her tone. They squeezed again and stepped back, taking the moment to look each other over. It was startling how happy her little brother looked; insane that he was even capable of such a thing. He was just like their dad – how easy it was to see as they grew up.

“This is Galway,” Ike blurted out, lacking all his usual tact. “My boyfriend.”

“No shit,” she said, though she turned her smile, somewhat dimmer, to the man next to her brother.

He was gorgeous. Tall, as she liked them. His colouring was fair, his freckles soft and worked to temper a dangerous face. But how gentle he seemed, standing politely and decently in his sweater, which did nothing to hide the hard forms of his muscles just below. He looked so damn healthy. So put together and real and far beyond anyone either her or Isaac were suited for. What the fuck?

“Hey, I’m Leah.” /No shit/. Unconsciously, she pulled the sleeves of her hoodie down, hiding the track marks along her forearms. “How tall are you?”

distancewillfixthis

“Six foot seven. Nice to meet you, too.” Sporting a crooked little smirk of his own; it took a bit of thinking to resolve that he, eventually, would not be extending his hand to her. The gesture felt too official and awkward, while a hug felt much too personal. “Ike’s been really lookin’ forward to you ge'in’ 'ere.”

ikepostle

She was relieved when he didn’t offer to shake. Hadn’t Ike said he was an F.B.I agent? Probably could read body language or something. Had to figure she didn’t want to touch him… maybe that’s why he liked Ike. There was no hiding his desires either.

“Has he?” A shadow of a playful look at Ike while she bent down to slip out of her sneakers. “You guys eaten yet?” She looked at Galway. Ike remained quiet.

distancewillfixthis

“O’ – no, we were jus’ se'in’ up the table.” Turning from her only shortly, he glanced towards the kitchen for no particular reason, “Rest o’ the fam'ly’s in there… your mum seems to be workin’ pre'y 'ard on dinner.”

ikepostle

“Trying to impress you, I’ll bet.” She stood up again and pushed her shoes aside. She seemed so remarkably small. Strange that she should, given her height, but Ike could help but think she wanted it to be that way. So small she disappeared. His heart ached a little.

She went on. “I got off the bus about six blocks down 'cause I wanted to skip this shit…” She stopped when she saw Ike’s face fall. “Not /this shit/… just the dinner. Mom watches me too much. She thinks I’m bullimic or something.”

“She doesn’t.” She’s just worried, he wanted to say.

“She thinks /something/.”

Ike shrugged and looked up at Galway, then back to Leah. “We could come grab you for dessert. Say you’re having a tub.”

“Do I need a tub?” She smiled.

“No.” It looked like there was more to say but it was strange. Different somehow, than it always had been. And not due to Galway, but due to all that stuff she was going through but never shared.

“'kay, thanks, Ikie.” She looked at Galway, was again taken back by his size. “Good to meet you. I’ll talk with you guys in a bit.”

distancewillfixthis

Suppose he couldn’t blame her. Suppose he wouldn’t quite be up to being intently observed by his mother and having dinner with a bunch of strangers that had little to do with him were he in her condition – yet he couldn’t help but feel something pinch at his heart nevertheless. Perhaps he’d gotten it all wrong. Perhaps tonight wasn’t the right night… perhaps he ought to propose privately.

Modest smile still present he dipped his head in a small, single nod. “See you la'er.”

Turning back to Ike, he kept the smile still and his thoughts to himself. “We should probably 'ead back.”

ikepostle

“Yeah,…” He watched her go and felt a little disheartened. He couldn’t blame her, but he supposed it would always be strange, seeing just a shadow of the former person. The thought brought him some shame. It ws harder for her. Scarier, too. But he just wanted her there so badly. He sighed and looked up at Galway. “Did she look okay? Like… I can’t tell anymore. I can’t take myself out of it.”

distancewillfixthis

“She looked like wha’ I would imagine a junkie looks like.” Voice kept soft and quiet, he saw no point in softening the truth; if anything, he figured Isaac would appreciate a bit of honesty. Reaching up to touch at the man’s arm, hips lips twisted in something apologetic. “Babe…”

ikepostle

He hated that word. But it was true. Maybe he had just been hoping his eyes were too critical. When he turned to look at Galway again, he was smiling faintly, and already leaning up to kiss at the underside of his chin. “It’s alright. It’s good seeing her, not matter what…”

distancewillfixthis

“I’m glad.” And truthfully, he was – because this night wasn’t about him. Or rather, it was, he supposed – but, in his mind, the whole thing was about making Isaac happy. They were good, alright – they were pretty fucking amazing, to be perfectly honest. But the guilt that had built up inside him for all the shit he’d put the man though had yet to release its tight clench of his heart – no matter how many times Ike had told him he’d forgiven him. It wasn’t about forgiveness, not at all. It was about… well, redemption, in lack of a better word. About truly making up for it… about promising he would never do it again.

Smile finding some of its way back to his lips, he squeezed and rubbed at Isaac’s arm before placing yet another kiss to the top of his head. “She’s no’ wha’ I imagined at all.”

ikepostle

Something inherently soothing about this man. He took his large, calloused palm and smoothed it carefully over the fold and creases in Ike's life until things seemed... better. He kissed at his chest. "No? What'd you think?" And then a laugh. "She's sort of /both/ my parents, isn't she."

  distancewillfixthis

“’onestly? I’m not sure.” There was something of a relief in being just the two of them again – a reassurance that had made the purpose of this night clear in his mind again. Who gave a fuck whether this dinner went well? Well -- him, obviously, Galway gave a fuck, and he was pretty certain Ike did, too -- and yet, at the same time, he found he could give no fucks at all. It was about the two of them and nothing more. Smiling, he allowed a hand to selfishly disappear in the man’s bleached-blond hair and his lips to press to his hairline. “Doesn’t ma’er, anyway.”

ikepostle

A purring noise to accompany the petting, his smile lazy and and somehow relieved. "No, I guess it doesn't. Hope she has the courage to come down later..." But he was distracted from that already, finding comfort in this man's warmth. "Have I told you how wonderful you---"

  "Was that your sister?" Jackie's voice close-by. Ike turned to look towards the kitchen and his mother stood there. He disengaged from Galway, took his hand, and led him back down that way.

  "Yeah, I think she's gonna shower."

  "I should check on her..." "

  Mom, it's alright. Just give her a few minutes." He squeezed Galway's hand. Behind his mother, he could hear his dad talking with Ewan.

  "You're still in school, I'd wager?"

  distancewillfixthis

"Just gradua'ed, si… Gord. Law and economics." Evidently as unused to a first-name basis as Galway, Ewan smiled, as happy as anyone to be an active part of the conversation. "Taken a year tae dee me internship, then gannen go back for me masters."

  "Showoff." Hand still wrapped tightly around Isaac's, Galway could not say he were all too happy for the change of topic.

  "Oi, so you're allowed tae be a workyticket?"

  "/Boys/ - behave." Though it is not without a smile that Fiona catches Galway's gaze with her own, she sighs and clicks her tongue and turns her attention back to the Redman parents. "You'd think they'd grew up at some point…"

ikepostle

"They've earned their playfulness," Jackie said softly. She was impressed with Fiona's boys, and perhaps a little to distracted with her own daughter to carefully examine her own words. "Both so busy..." She left the room, carrying the roast to the dining room table.

 Gordon picked up the slack. "So, a lawyer, then?" He laughed. "I don't know shit -- pardon me -- don't know /much/ about law school. Our rabble hardly graduated high school, and I only dabbled in trades long enough to get an apprenticeship. Never went the book-learning route."

  distancewillfixthis

“Well -- Galway only went ‘cause it was a requiremen’ tae ge’ in the CIA…” Not that it made his brother’s studies any lesser, however true.

 “Yea’. Pre’y much made meself scarce the momen’ I could.”

 “--- and I love hearen mesell talk, so I figured, why no’ make some money off it.” Not without a small, soft laughter, Ewan shrugged; the trade was not particularly interesting (well, it was, had become interesting – but it was not as though he’d /dreamed/ of being a lawyer) so much as it was safe. “Bu’ if you ever need any labor or corpora’e law advise, give us a call.”

ikepostle

"Shame. Got nothing corporate, but Jackie's been looking for a divorce lawyer for thirty-eight years now." Gordon replied lightly, loud enough so his wife, who just entered the kitchen again, could hear clearly. "Isn't that right, my dear?"

    "Would you make yourself usefull and mash those potatoes, Gord?" Jackie quipped back -- but her tension had dissolved. Gordon always managed to relax her.

  "Yes, my dear. Ike show the O'Doyle's to the table. Grab that whiskey on the way, would you.."

  "Sure, Dad. Hope you guy's are starved. Mom's made three different types of potatoes..." He stepped away from Galway and touched softly at Fiona's shoulder as she stood. "We have wine, Fiona, if you'd prefer...?"

    distancewillfixthis

"Famished. Everythen smells delightful, Jackie." Spoken at the other woman over her shoulder, Fiona then turned to look up at Isaac with a soft smile. Though her boys might have looked better /on paper,/ that was where the differences ended; she could not have been happier with Galway's choice in spouse, could not have been happier with this young man and the way he treated both herself and her son. "I'm sure I'll be alreet with wha'ever your mother's haven."

ikepostle

Ike smiled down to her warmly, his hand still touching her shoulder, though not urging her at all. Strange to say he felt part of the family the moment he had met the O'Doyle's... but he had. The pair of them had been so welcoming, so kind... almost grateful. Though Ike couldn't imagine why.

 "I'll grab some wine glasses, then." In the dining room, which in truth was just a small extension of the living room with a large oval table, Ike gestured around with a small wave of his hand. "Sit wherever. We never stay in the same place, so there's no rules."

  distancewillfixthis

“The way I like it.” Said Fiona as she followed him to the dining room, allowing her youngest to pick a seat at random before she took the chair next to his. The answer to Isaac’s questions, albeit unknown to her, were simple: he made Galway happy and, well, wasn’t a twat. Those were the only two qualities that should have ever mattered in her sons’ choice of spouses. “Hew long has it been since you moved ou’, Isaac?”

 ikepostle

Isaac stopped himself in the open door frame and popped a hip against it while he thought that over. He had moved out before he graduated high school, and had consequently flunked out. A few years later he took the courses he needed to, but that had been in another state. Suppose that was a different question entirely.

 "Over a decade and a half." He shrugged, still leaning. "Have dinner with the folks when I can, though." As he spoke, a brown fluffy cat pressed up against his ankle. He nudged the thing to make it go away and it crossed to Galway's leg to nuzzle him. "Galway, Ewan, what you guys drinking? Beer's fine?"

 distancewillfixthis

“Wey aye, man.”

 “Fine by me.” Muttering as he folded his knees under him, Galway bent down as to give the cat the attention it sought. Stroking its fur with both large hands, he looked out to the room; his (future fiancé) boyfriend, then his mother, who was speaking again.

 “It’s very… homely. I’m sure Galway told you how the boys grew up…” the tone of her voice was not quite shameful – though perhaps a bit hesitant. “It’s impor’ant to have a yem -- home -- that feels like one.”

 “’e does, mum. With me.” Smiling, Galway watched Ike from the corner of his eye.

ikepostle

With only the reluctance of a man filled with unstoppable fondness towards another man's sweetness, Ike pulled his eyes away from Galway and looked to his boyfriend's mother. His mouth opened to speak but Galway beat him to it.

 Ike found himself smiling. "You know, once I find somewhere nice. I'll get us out of that flat of his. Too modern, I say. Doesn't matter how many plants I put in there. Looks like a catalogue for niche German apartment decor." He paused. "I'd like a house someday, if we could afford it. A yard... maybe some dogs. Maybe some benches outside Dad could build before arthritis gets the better of him."

 "--- I heard that!" Muffled from the kitchen.

 Ike shrugged again, his gaze thoughtful. "A home, you know, like you said."

 distancewillfixthis

Was Ike about to propose to /him?/ It sure sounded like it, with the way he discussed their future together as though it were obvious – in some suburbia home with a couple of dogs and a garden. It’ll be a fun story to tell friends and family, certainly; though, for now, Galway kept the ring to himself, pressing into his hip through his trousers (tight around him as his knees were still bent, playing with the cat); and gazed lovingly upon his boyfriend, a faint, soft smile curling the corners of his lips.

 “That sounds absolu’ely lovely, pet.” Said Fiona, smile warmer and wider, as she looked up at Ike and reached to place her hand on his forearm and give it a short rub. “In your defense, the fla’ does seem much homier since you moved in.”

ikepostle

"Yeah?" A faint blush touched his cheeks -- at both his gentle confession, and the way it was received. An impulse with it, one he denied, but he could have hugged Fiona there, given her a thank you that wouldn't come close to the gratitude he felt towards her oldest son. "It's a work in progress."

 A soft nudge to Ike's back had him moving barely. His mother shuffled to the table and placed a roast in the very centre. A few pieces had been cut ready to serve. Behind her, Gordon appeared with his mashed potatoes. They both disappeared again and Ike followed. He brought out the scalloped potatoes with his dad brought a salad. Jackie brought wine glasses and wine.

 "Everyone sit," Ike instructed before he ducked out once more. He came back clad with four beers, and handed them out to the men respectively.

 distancewillfixthis

Galway already standing and mouth already hanging open with the unspoken question whether anyone needed any help, he did as he were instructed and took the vacant seat beside his mother’s other side; expecting, of course, that Ike would seat beside him. “Everythin’ looks wonderful, Missus Redman.” Accepting the beer with a dip of his head, he placed it beside his plate, untouched.

 “Aye, smells great, Jackie.” Fiona agreed, gaze following the Redmans as they stepped in and out of the dining room. “You shouldn’t have gan through all this trouble.”

 ikepostle

From upstairs, a gush of water signaled the shower starting.

 "It's no trouble," Jackie insisted. She poured her own glass before passing the wine bottle to her husband, who then worked to fill Fiona's glass. Ike had sat down beside Galway, and under the table gave his thigh a squeeze. He looked at him.

 "Don't be modest, babe. Seriously. Eats lots. There's dessert, too..."

 distancewillfixthis

“My, I certainly hope we can work through all this.”

 “Sure Galway’ll manage.” Said Ewan with a crooked smirk; though it seemed as though Galway was paying little attention. Legs spread some so that his own thigh may touch Ike’s, he placed his hand atop his knee and squeezed it as he gave his boyfriend a smile; doing nothing to remove his hand or loosen his grip as he turned back to the table.

 “Still. Thank you for ‘avin’ us all, ma’am.”

 ikepostle

Jackie waved away the thanks with a shake of her hand. Gordon was still standing, serving first his wife, then himself with roast. Ike had only eyes for the man next to him. It was surreal, to be there with their families, together, and so undeniably in love.

 A moment more, of touching, of looking, before Ike retreated enough to grab his beer and pull the scalloped potatoes towards himself.

  "You know, Galway and I have been discussing the prospect of going to school. Me, at least. There are some courses I could take around work... something to lead up to... I don't know. Nursing. Or counseling." Jackie glanced their way. "Just been easier to save up since I moved in..."

 distancewillfixthis

“That sounds like somethen tha’ would be right up your alley.” Fiona commented while Galway, gaze averted as he helped himself to the scalloped potatoes after Ike, said nothing, but smiled on, his knee still touching his boyfriend’s underneath the table. She had refused both her sons’ money when they offered any (though both had managed giving her some regardless of her wishes, either way); but had no trouble with the thought Galway might be the only one paying the rent. Children are not meant to support their parents at such a young age. Spouses, however, were a different story altogether.

 “An’ there won’t be anyone to disturb ‘is studies, with me ‘ours.” Galway joked, serving his mother next.

 ikepostle

Jackie frowned down into her food, but Gordon hooted a little laugh. Upstairs, the shower turned off. "I'd like a picture of the boy studying. I won't believe it until. then. God knows Jackie and I couldn't make him open a textbook up when he was in school, isn't that right, Jack?"

 "Mhm."

 Ike grinned, nudged his boyfriend under the table. "Who do you think is gonna be helping me /with/ all that studying? You make a good tutor, don't you, Red?"

 distancewillfixthis

“Don’t know if /tu’or’s/ the righ’ word… I’m good at givin’ orders an’ makin’ sure people do as they’re told.” Smile ever wider, radiant, he held his plate out for Isaac to take. “Ge’ us some of tha’ roast, will you, duck?”

 “Galway barely made it through high school himsell.” A short glance towards her son, who was still gazing adoringly at his spouse. “Only reason he did was because it was required tae get into the army. Divvin’ suppose it ma’ers much when you divvin’ get much ou’ o’ it.”

ikepostle

Ike was snickering as he loaded up both of their plates with some roast. After he had returned their plates, he passed the potatoes down along the table.

 Gordon perked up a little. "The army?" He thought of his collection of relics in the basement. He spoke to Galway. "Tell us more about that, son. I'd like to hear it."

 distancewillfixthis

“Well…” Galway didn’t tend to boast – that much his family (as in his mother, brother and hopefully soon-to-be fiancé) would all too easily attest to. However, in the same breath, he couldn’t help but admit to himself there /was/ something satisfying in saying, with a smile however apologetic; “I’m afraid most o’ it’s still classified, bu’... spen’ six years in the Bri’ish Special Air Services. Three years trainin’ as a comba’ sniper, then two tours in Afghanistan.”

ikepostle

A slow appreciative whistle from Gordon; and a modest little chuckle from Ike. With his plate full, Ike got to eating, watching his father and boyfriend talk.

 "You don't need me to tell you that's fucking impressive, Galway."

 "Gordon!" Jackie gasped.

 "Sorry, dear. /Damn/ impressive." Gord took a long pull of his beer, still speaking across the table to Galway. "I'm sure you're full of stories, even the ones you can tell." A hearty, wholesome laugh. "And I'd like to hear 'em. Isaac's grandfather, my Pop, was a military man, as well..." He trailed off, as though his mind had wandered down an old familiar path he had not been to for years. He gave his head a little shake. "The transition to C.I.A certainly makes sense, in this light."

  distancewillfixthis

Galway’s shoulders rolled in his quiet, huffy way of laughing, and he had a sip of his own beer. If only Mrs. Redman knew that the more combat you were, the fouler your language became… but not about to tarnish his record for this evening, he looked away only momentarily as he cut himself a piece of the roast. “May I ask where he fough’, Gord?”

 ikepostle

"Vietnam, wasn't it, Dad?"

 "Don't feign interest now, Isaac." With his plate full, Gordon got to cutting up his roast. "But you're right. Proves you were listening. At least a little, when you were younger." A point of his fork at Galway. "Remind me later to show you something away from this crowd. We talk on it more and Jackie'll toss us in the backyard."

 distancewillfixthis

“Understood.” Galway smiled, glancing momentarily at Ike, who was anything but inattentive when listening to stories of his past. The gaze soon returned to the Redman parents, though; settling on Jackie rather than on Gordon. “Bu’ all I’ve done all evenin’ is talk abou’ meself. I’d like to ‘ear a story abou’ Ike, Missus Redman.”

  ikepostle

"Hm." Both Gordon and Jackie uttering the same sound while lapsing into thought. It took a moment, but then Jackie smiled, however dimly. "He was never very good with reading. The doctors said it was his attention span, but we all believed he was just bored with it. Would rather sit with Gord in the backyard or garage."

  A snicker from Gordon that was so like Ike's.

  "They make it sound like I was in my teens. I was like seven." Ike interjected.

  distancewillfixthis

"Can't say I cared much for readin' meself at tha' age." Galway smiled, finally trying the roast as he glanced at his boyfriend from the corner of his eye. "Things like tha' change all the time. All depends on 'ow much you care. The roast is lovely, ma'am."

  ikepostle

A cursory perk of her smile before she tasted her wine.

  Isaac picked up the conversation again. "I did get into reading. We'll thank Mom's Sunday School for that. I would read passages to the group, stuttered my way through, too." This made Gord smile and shake his head.

  "Though he never strove to be very compassionate, despite those readings,..." Jackie said quietly.

  "That's not true." Another voice, female, from the doorway. Leah had showered, but her hair was still knotted high on her head. She wore an old band tee-shirt and a faded grey skirt that went down to just above her knees. "When Mrs. Hopkins had to go into hospice, Ike went there every day after school 'til she passed. Just so she wouldn't be lonely. I think Ike was maybe twelve." "

  Gord frowned. "I don't remember that."

  Leah shrugged the one shoulder not leaning against the door. "I don't think he told anyone but me."

  distancewillfixthis

Though Galway's head turned to look at Isaac's older sister, he said nothing; though he did not manage successfully, entirely stifling the small smile that curled he corners of his lips at the sound of that. True, he himself might have been more accomplished on paper – but it seemed, occasionally, as though his boyfriend wasn't entirely appreciated for all that he was. Though he did not know whether the case was the same for Leah – he couldn't help but feel a tad victorious at the story.

  "You must be Leah." Fiona noted, small smile on her painted lips despite the girl's somewhat grim appearance.

  "O' --- aye. Leah – this is me mum, Fiona; an' me brovah, Ewan."

  ikepostle

Leah nodded her head and lowered her eyes -- some internal animal instinct that had her somewhat ashamed of herself when everyone looked so... together. There wasn't an extra spot at the table for her, and she thought that was something of a blessing.

  She looked at Fiona after a moment. "Hi, good to meet you..." Her eyes dragged to the man next to her.

  She was startled. So different than Galway. And he looked so young! They could tell her that he was sixteen and she would believe it in an instant. "Ewan. E-wahn. Am I saying that right?" Her hand was up, casually, pulling at the hair elastic that held her bun in place.

  distancewillfixthis      

"Yew-an." He corrected with a lopsided smile on his lips, before shaking his head as though to dismiss the error. "That's alreet. Mum's fault fer haven an affini'y fer strange names."

  She looked nothing like Isaac save, perhaps, for their sense of style – older than he had expected (rich coming from him, a man ten years his brother's junior) – darker – not as well adjusted.

  "I'll second tha'." Galway smiled, giving his mother a glance and a crooked smirk before turning to look at Leah again.

  "Will you be joinen us, lass?"

  ikepostle

She tugged gently and her hair cascaded down to just beyond her shoulders. Under her breath she muttered his name correctly, thought promptly distracted to Galway.

  And /he/ was startling too. Somehow even bigger now that he was sitting. Was that even possible...

  "I came for dessert. Don't have much of an appetite." She looked at Ewan briefly, then to his mother. "Only for sweet things, it seems. I'll leave you guys alone."

    distancewillfixthis

"Please -- stay." It was Fiona still speaking, though all three sets of eyes were still given to the woman; two pairs of blue and one a strange honey color. "It won't be a real fam'ly gatheren withou' the /whole/ fam'ly here, will it?"

  Both boys nodded in agreement with their mother – Galway despite knowing how deeply rooted was the desire not to be there. He believed, despite his slight disappointment, in what he had told Mrs. Redman earlier; that Leah was now a part of his family too, that she were about to become an /official/ part of it all too soon – and selfishly, he wanted her present, if only to make Isaac happy. "We'll make some room."

  ikepostle

"It's really okay." She noted the distinct lack of coercing on her own family, and wondered at the cause. Could it be so surprising that this woman had already taken the role of leader among this small crew? It wouldn't surprise Leah.

  Or perhaps she was just sweet.

  "I'm gonna have a smoke, I just wanted to drop in and say hi. I'll see you guys at dessert." She waved, feeling embarrassed, and disappeared down the hallway.

    distancewillfixthis

"Alreet, dear. See you then."

  Though a short silence had fallen among the Morgan-O'Doyles, Galway was soon to speak again – determined to make the best of this evening yet. Even if not for the ring in his pocket, this dinner was a symbolic-enough coming together of families to make the matter of personal importance to him – not only so he could make Isaac happy. They had always been just the three of them – himself, his brother and mother (and her father, on occasion, though the relationship there was as 'well' as the one Galway had had with his own stepfather) – desperately, almost childishly, he /wanted/ to belong to something bigger.

  "You really did tha', babe? Wha' she said?"

  Wha' she said?"

  ikepostle

Ike was grateful, not only for Fiona making an effort, but his Galway, who promptly guided them back to something more overtly pleasant. He shrugged a shoulder, spoke softly around a small bite of food.

  "I guess, yeah. Felt bad for her. I used to mow her lawn. Or shovel the drive. She was a nice ol' hen."

  distancewillfixthis

"I'm sure it mean' a lo' to 'er." Soft, modest smile on his lips, he squeezed and patted Isaac's knee under the table. At that age to be so selfless was something beyond his understanding. "Didn't know you were doin' tha' sort o' thing from such a young age."

  ikepostle

A moment was afforded to the two men as everyone else around them began to eat.

  "It doesn't really seem like a big deal." And even as he spoke, he thought it sounded like some fake modesty. "I just hate the idea of someone being lonely. I mean, if I could help it."

  distancewillfixthis

There was something strangely touching about that statement – Galway couldn't quite put his finger on it, about the reason why he felt so moved – but he did, nevertheless. It were moments such as this that he felt so profoundly in love with the man, he couldn't possibly put it to words – and so just watched him for a long moment, in silence, before eventually turning his gaze back to his own meal lest he made him uncomfortable.

  "At tha' age I was more preoccupied with makin' the occasional penny than anythin' else." Different circumstances, he'd admit – and nevertheless worth mentioning.

  ikepostle

"Guess I was fortunate in that respect. I told you Mom had a job at the church, and Dad did a lot back then. Sort of a jack of all trades. Plus, Leah was... shit. I don't know. Early twenties? She helped out a bunch. I had it made, you could say." He nudged a knee under the table, playfully, affectionately, touching his boyfriend.

  Gord spoke up. "What was your first job, Galway?"

  distancewillfixthis

He smiled softly and outstretched his free hand, the one not using the fork, to rest along the backrest of Ike's chair. Poor table manners, perhaps, surely to have granted him a glare from his mother when he were younger – but he didn't care.

  At Gordon's question, however, he turned to look at the man; soft smile yet to leave his lips. "Did deliveries for a butcher in our neighbor'ood for four years, I think, before I star'ed workin' as a butcher meself in 'is shop. Stayed on for another four."

  "Things were a li'le rough financially for most o' Galway's childhood…" Fiona explained, though minutely interrupted by a soft /mum…/ muttered by her oldest son. With a reassuring look his way, she went on. "Been worken nonstop since he were eight. Tried very much to help me where he could."

ikepostle

Again, Gordon’s brief appreciative whistle sound.

Ike looked at Fiona. “Is that a good enough excuse to get him to take me on vacation somewhere? I’d hate if my man never got any rest…” The phrase, my man, startled him. Not so much that he shouldn’t refer to Galway as such, but that he would do so in front of his parents – but why? Galway had his arm around Ike’s chair, and he had kissed him earlier, plain as day. Perhaps he shouldn’t expect so much of himself; perhaps the transition shouldn’t be so easy.

A look at Galway, “what do you say… somewhere warm?”

distancewillfixthis

“I’ve go’ a feelin’ we’ll be goin’ away someplace soon.”

A tad too telling, perhaps – though he found it hard to resist. Where would they go on their honeymoon? Somewhere romantic, like France or Italy – or perhaps someplace more exotic, like Turkey? He smiled, doing nothing as to remove his arm from around Ike’s chair, and resisted the urge to kiss him right then and there, in front of everyone. Instead, he watched the man a moment longer before turning his gaze back to Gordon.

“You fish, Gord?”

ikepostle

“Haven’t for a long time. And never anything too wild.” Like Isaac, he spoke around a mouthful of food. “Back in Seattle, my pals and I would head over to Kress Lake and waste a few evenings out on the boats. Never took to river hooking though. Nor the ocean. But lakes were good picking.”

He chased his food with a gulp of beer. “You like it?”

distancewillfixthis

“Well, I ‘aven’t in the longest time, either.” More of a job than a hobby, it wasn’t anything he did for leisure anymore. But what better family activity was there? “Used to be we’d go fishin’ an’ bring it 'ome to mum at the end of the day to cook. Maybe we could all do the same sometime. Go campin’ or soemthin’.”

ikepostle

Gordon’s expression warmed as he nodded and chuckled a little. Suffice to say, he hadn’t expected to get along as well as he was with Galway, despite how much Ike had believed so. “I very much like the sounds of that. Sure it wouldn’t be too difficult to find a place in state…” 

The back door opened again and Leah appeared in the doorway. She looked a little meek, maybe even apologetic. “Maybe I will have a bite, after all. Mom, I’m gonna pull a chair beside you.” And across from Galway and his brother. “Keep talking, though, don’t let me interrupt.”

distancewillfixthis

"/You/ evah fish, Leah?" Despite the inflection in his tone, there was no mockery there; only mild curiosity and an attempt to include her in the conversation.

 "We were just sayen how we should all gan do tha' sometime." Ewan chirped in, having sat mostly silent thus far; watching the rest of the family as it engaged in conversation, though not participating.