back in kindergarten i was one of the only friends of the "weird kid" of our class. he had a crush on me. one time while we were learning how to use scissors he took them and cut his pointer finger right in the middle, he just fucking did that. he shook it around everywhere and covered me in his blood because he wanted to show me. i remember all the kids screaming and shit. my uniform, my shoes, my notebook, my desk, it all got covered in his blood and he didnt even seemed upset or anything, he just wanted to "show me" his wound
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Were you an only child? What was it like?
I was.
It's a double edge sword, though you don't realize it until the time with your parents is tapering down to a point, then only you will be there to bear the brunt of it, especially if you don't walk the straight and narrow... you'll be the only scape goat or return on investment or sunk cost in their little venture.
You're never quite a person unto yourself.
They can't separate you from what you personify.
When you get out of turn, they reveal all the wounds left behind on them by those you're descended from. They will say you are demonstrating all the worst traits of someone that's been dead for decades, especially if you've never met, then they'll say you got that dreadful disposition from the other parent-- they'll tell you all the things they despise about each other, try to excoriate whatever traces of them they see blooming in you and leave you wondering,
'Is this what familial love amounts to?'
'Surviving each other long enough for one to drop dead?'
I was the product of a mistake made by two adults that knew better, but they warmed to the idea of mistaking me into existence anyway-- choosing not to terminate things before I could be burdened with the consequences of their actions.
... Even still... being the singular progeny, you are prized and venerated for the sake of saving face, if only because not doing so would communicate more that they were failed parents than you were a failed child-- ils pourraient vous dire que vous êtes un petit garnement, un bâtard ingrat, ... but they will refuse any such accusations from others,
. . . meme si elles sont vraies...
You're trapped under the subjugation of two people who do not sympathize with you and cannot empathize with you, see no value beyond your utility, see no intent beyond what they assign to your actions.
Solitude, through it's familiarity, becomes a comfort, you adapt but like trying to mature in a tight box, you will grow malformed and... that kind of isolation tends to engender some... eccentricities that are not compatible with social mores.
Fate relieved me of them, but I found adjusting very difficult. Misery and purposelessness replaced the familiarity of loneliness as I became another invisible blight of society, a faceless ward of the system that tucks away all these unsightly human tragedies like me.
I would be lying if I said being brought to this-- to our- institution wasn't a relief-- for a short time, I had returned to a position I felt most suited to; high pressure, high expectations, leniency for the sake of no one responsible for me wanting to admit they may have made a mistake...
Then, .... He came.
You see, they had decided I wasn't enough.
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GAH i love vastedge. baldias' fake cerberus just using eddies moves cus they used its data is so funny . why the fuck does it have invite hell !
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⚽️ 🥳
Soccer themed party invitations and table decor in a variety of design styles & color themes -- easy-to-personalize text templates can be customized to suit your birthday or team celebration
https://www.katzdzynes.com/2021/04/soccer-themed-party-invitations.html
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