#boy they werent kidding that post traumatic stress disorder can COMPLEX
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just had paramedics called on me for the first time todayy
#'just' means like 9 hours ago ive been resting btw also im fine i was just scared#i was 90% sure it was a panic attack! but Both my parents having tons of heart problems was making me really dread that other 10%#that i wasnt so sure about#but i am fine it was a confirmed panic attack and nothing is wrong#i had some kind of mental revelation that ive been slowfully and painfully untangling ever since#but its going to be the literal turning point in my ENTIRE life. i am not the same person who woke up this morning#sorry everyone im late for updating you all about my newest medical history update today#no but seriously im bringing this up now because the next few days migjt be rough! for me#im going to try and keep it off the internet as much as possible but just in case i somehow end up doing it anyway i guess#hashtag rosies first honest to god panic attack <3#im fine. and i will continue being fine. i will simply need an appropriately approximated mandatory adjustment period#yeah so ummm the thing i am astounded by the most right now is#i dont think i have EVER been SO truly angry in my whole. i have never felt the need to describe myself as 'furious' until today#boy they werent kidding that post traumatic stress disorder can COMPLEX#sorry just trying to be a little bit silly its called i get a little bit silly i just need a little controlled boost dose of normalcy here#im fine.
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