#boy london legit

[redcrescentmoons]

Only You In The Room

Daniel Ricciardo x male!rockstar! reader

Summary: Everyone knows Daniel loves music. What they don’t know is his (slight) crush on the bassist from one of his favorite bands.

AN: Happy Daniel birthday gang! Legit celebrating this harder than my own birthday. Sorry for the lack of posts, I’ve been fighting some hardcore writers block and don’t have any original ideas, but i wanted to do smth for Daniels bday anyway. Hope you like it!

AN2: This is purely self indulgent im sorry

AN3: (after completion) lowkey thinking of turning this into a series, what do you think?

It was a well-known fact around the paddock that Daniel loved music. Scratch that; not just the paddock knew, anyone that knew anything about the driver knew about his passion.

While Daniel often put forward his love of country music, another genre he strongly appreciated, although not quite as much as country, was rock.

So when he found a small pop-punk band through social media, he immediately followed them, hooked from the first note.

Soon, he had every song committed to memory, and started mentioning them more around his friends.

Max quickly caught on to Daniel’s new find, and as he always did when the Aussie got excited about a new artist, he asked the older man to tell him about the band.

As Daniel spoke, Max quickly caught on to the fact one was being mentioned slightly more than his band mates.

"And what’s so great about that bassist, huh mate?" the Dutch questioned "What do you mean?" replied Daniel, a slightly confused look on his face. "C’mon man, you keep on talking about him. So why?"

Daniel’s face immediately grew red as he denied the accusation, and changed the subject quickly, which didn’t go unnoticed by Max.

Daniel had only known the band for a few months, but had the pleasure to have seen them grow considerably. He followed them throughout their first out-of-city gig, to their first show in another country, to their first tour. And in a weird way, he couldn’t have felt prouder of the group of boys.

As the london-based band announced their first european tour, Daniel felt overjoyed once he came upon the realization that with his race calendar, he would be in Europe at the same time as the band would.

He bought himself a ticket for their first show of the tour, in London, the very moment he realized it was a mere 2 days after Silverstone.

The Aussie couldn’t wait for Silverstone; despite passing it off as excitement for the race, it was clearly more.

By the time the race arrived, it had completely fled his mind, leaving him to focus solely on the concert.

His outfit was planned out, his ticket was ready, including the bonus one he bought for Max, and the anticipation was coursing through his veins.

He didn’t even take the time to properly enjoy Silverstone, just counting down the time until he saw the band he had loved since he first heard them.

When the day finally arrived, he felt so excited but there was just a little bit of nervousness mixed in there. He told himself it was nothing, but the Dutchman beside him had already figured out the cause of his anxiety.

The show was being held inside a small venue, also containing a bar. Daniel immediately downed an alcoholic drink in the hopes of calming himself down. Feeling it’s effect on his body already, he dragged his friend up to the front, where they managed to get to the edge of the stage.

As the opening band went on, Daniel found himself to quite enjoy them, but grew impatient by the end of their set.

When the lights came back on and the opener left, a couple stage hands walked out to switch out the stage. Daniel found himself blushing as he stared at the man setting up the bass; it was you.

As the people around him went to get drinks between the bands, the Aussie went in a trance watching you set up your bass pedals, chatting with the stagehands, oblivious to his watchful gaze.

As Daniel’s admiration for you grew at the way you refused to let someone else set your things up for you, he suddenly snapped out of it as Max waved his hand in front of his face, a small smirk hiding at the corner of the Dutchman’s lips.

Before Daniel had the time to question it, the lights dimmed once again and the band members walked out on the stage under colored lights.

As the applause roared surprisingly loud for the small crowd, Daniel found himself cheering particularly loud, and a large smile grew on his face as he made eye contact with you, noticing the slight blush that developed on your face.

You winked at him and looked away, turning to your band mate to get the show started. You leant into the singer’s microphone, yelling "Hello everybody! We’re Nervous Breakdown! This one’s called ‘Insomnia’ and we hope you love it!" You finished your tirade with your signature smile, a contagious cross between a grin and a smirk.

Daniel screamed some more, belting out the lyrics as they came.

As the night went on, Daniel found himself having the absolute time of his life. Even Max noticed how his smiley friend was even happier than usual.

In between songs, you would use your band mates microphone to joke around and speak to the audience, your high energy and excitement contagious, spreading around the crowd like wildfire. Not that Daniel needed it.

When you announced your last song of the night, Daniel found his happiness met with a sudden wave of sadness.

That sadness was, however, diminished when your lead guitarist announced you all would be outside after the show, if anyone wanted to stick around. Of course, everyone cheered, and you went on with your final song of the night.

Once you all had bowed, and waved, and walked off the stage, people started flooding out of the room, a certain amount waiting outside until you all came out.

Despite not seeing the band exit the venue, he could tell exactly when you and the boys walked out, as a loud wave of cheers erupted from the group of people.

Daniel sat patiently at the back, waiting to meet you, his ticket and a sharpie in hand, already rehearsing what he would say to you.

When the crowd started thinning, and you were finally visible, hair disheveled from jumping around, bass on your back, tired smile on your face, Daniel’s breath was taken away.

Max, feeling his companions nervousness, planted a comforting hand the on the Aussie’s shoulder, pulling him slightly closer.

"It feels weird when it’s the other way around don’t you think? Us waiting to get something signed?" Daniel chuckled at his remark, the Dutchman having succeeded in keeping his anxiety at bay.

When he finally got to you, he was the last one there. He had to admit, he admired you for staying throughout the whole group of people, knowing firsthand what that felt like, especially after a tiring concert.

When his eyes landed on you, the whole script he had prepared in his head disappeared completely.

As much as Daniel wanted to greet the band as a whole, he just couldn’t take his eyes off the young man in front of him, extending a slightly shaky arm towards you.

"Hi, I’m Daniel. Huge fan"

Part 2?

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

I'll come pick it up after, the end

John Egan X Female! Reader

Sumarry: It's finally their wedding day...

Warning: Historical inaccuracies/ full/ might not be accurate to real weeding speech in the 40s/ use of Y/n/

Word count: 1,2k

The day had finally come, their wedding day. She was nervous, but she was able to go to London to buy a wedding dress, with Daisy and Elodie. Her dress was simple, it stopped before her ankles and it had long sleeves. She didn’t want an extravagant wedding dress, they were getting married on the base, they weren’t Catholics, but the priest on the base was going to marry them, so it’ll be legit. She’d ask Crosby to walk her down the aisle, Buck was the best men, Elodie was the maid of honor and Meatball was going to carry the rings, with the two kids guiding him. Her hair was down, she didn’t have a veil, just a dress and heels.

He was nervous, but he was really happy. He was marring his girl. ‘’You ready for this?’’ Buck asked, coming in the room. ‘’Yeah, I’m nervous, but it’s my girl, I can’t wait to marry her’’ He sign. ‘’Let’s go its time.’’ Corporal says, as he enters the room. ‘’Thanks, Corporal’’ Bucky says. ‘’She’s a good girl, I’m happy for you, Major’’ he says. ‘’I appreciate it, Corporal, thank you.’’ They entered the room, soldiers were sat, some were still arriving. Nurses were there too, almost all the men and woman on the base were there. The priest was waiting for him at the altar. ‘’Who thought we would see Bucky tie the knot?’’ Lieutenant Dye said, even if he went home because he did 25 missions, he came back to see his friend get married. ‘’Yeah, well you did steal my previous girl, I had to find another one’’ he laughed. Right now, he couldn’t even think about Lil, the only woman that mattered to him was his future wife. When Bucky commented about their previous relationship, she bent her head down, ashamed. ‘’Don’t worry, Lil, he’s the better choice for you. I’m happy for your guys’’ He reassured her. Dye smiled to the groom and took the hand of his lady. Lil smiled and took a relived breath.

Once again, she was pacing around the room, Meatball following her with his head. Harry Crosby came in the room, smiling. ‘’Are you ready?’’ he asked. ‘’I feel like I’m going to throw up.’’ ‘’I know that feeling, but don’t worry I can recommend you to an amazing doctor’’ Crosby smiled, she laughed, it calmed her down a little. She didn’t even know why she was nervous, they both loved each other, but she was nervous. ‘’I’m really happy for you. You deserve happiness, Y/n, you both do.’’ They both hugged. ‘’You’re my best friend, Croz, thank you for everything you did for me’’ She whispered in his ear. ‘’Now, don’t make me cry.’’ They chuckled as Daisy came to get them. ‘’It’s time’’ she simply said.

When the band started to play music, Bucky’s heart stopped; she was coming. He turned around to look at his girl. She was magnificent, her dress was simple, but it was made for her. After all, they didn’t have much time to plan their wedding and their budget was small. Harry Crosby was walking her, he was grateful for him, he took care of her when he wasn’t there. When she saw him in his uniform, she started to smile like she never did before, she’d saw him in his uniform before, but he looks wonderful. When Harry and Y/n reached the groom, Crosby wanted to say something. Normally, her father would’ve give her to John, but Harry needed to say words to him. ‘’Take good care of her, just like she took care of you. Y/n smiled, hearing the word his best friend said to her future husband.

When Meatball came down the aisle, with the two boys, the soldiers chuckled. Everyone on the base knew that Y/n and Meatball came as a pair, they were together all the time. When she worked at the hospital, Meatball was there too, he made soldiers smile. The two boys handed the rings to the bride and groom. They recited the vow that the priest asked them too. It was beautiful, making them promise to each other that they will love the other, no matter what. It said that they would always be there for the other and stuff that made some people cry. When it was time for their personal vows, Y/n decided to go first. ‘’Bucky, my love, when I first met you, I thought you were going to be just another soldier that crossed my path. I was clearly wrong because, I’m now in a white dress in front of you. I did not just fell in love with you, I feel in love with your smile, your humor, your qualities and your flaws. I fell in love with each version of you, the one you show when you’re with your friends, the person you are when we are alone, the person that you’re too scared to show me, but did before you trusted me, and I also fell in love with the pilot version of you. Words aren’t enough to tell you how much you mean to me, but I’m so happy that Meatball came to me that day, so I could meet my soulmate’’ She cried, they were happy tears. Bucky was crying too, he didn’t care if some soldiers thought he was weak, that was the most beautiful thing he ever heard. ‘’My darling, my forever, I feel like the luckiest men on earth, because I get to be your husband. When things were rough, I think about you. Your smile, your laugh, your beautiful eyes and your voice. I’m not as talented with words as you are, but I can tell you this, it’s so hard for me to put our love into words, because I love you in ways, I have never loved anyone else, but I promise that I will spend the rest of my life, searching for them. I love you, my darling.’’ If the crowd didn’t cry to Y/n’s speech, they cried at Bucky’s. Even the priest was about to cry. ‘’ In the sight of God and these witnesses, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride.’’

They didn’t have to be told twice, their kiss was full of love and passion. It celebrated their love and said all the words they couldn’t find. The crowd applauded and congratulated the newly weds. ‘’I love you Mrs. Egan’’ Bucky said, looking at his wife. ‘’I love you more, Mr. Egan’’ she smiled.

After the celebration, and almost 4 songs that Bucky insisted on singing, they both pack all their things. Because has a weeding gift, the Corporal gave Bucky the right to go home. After all, he was at 23 missions, he was close to 25. And Y/n made Elodie the chief nurse, because the Corporal also gave her the right to go home. They were going home, they both couldn’t believe it, but it was the case. A smaller plane, that was made for traveling, was waiting for them on the runway. The newly weds were going back home on the same plane as Lieutenant Dye. They hugged their friends, Y/n gave Buck and Croz the phone number at Bucky’s home. That’s where they would live until they could afford a home. When they boarded the plane, they were euphoric. ‘’Can you actually believe we’re going home?’’ Y/n whispered. He shook his head. ‘’The only thing I believe right now, is the fact that you’re my wife, and my ribs are healed’’ he chuckled. She giggled when the decide to steel his watch, putting it in her bra. ‘’Come and pick it up after the flight’’ she teased with a huge smile. It was the beginning of their life together, and they would savor each second, they had together, because they both knew how easily life can change. But it wasn’t on their mind right now. The only thing on Bucky’s mind, was to pick up his watch, just like he did the first time.

A/n: It's the end y'all!!! Thank you for reading this story. I already have more ideas, for other stuff. Love you all :)

[charthurlover]

What perfume/cologne would the Van Der Linde gang wear

hi!! this is my first tumblr post, and i don’t exactly know how to do this or work the app, so forgive me if this is horribly worded or confusing.

anyways, this is my opinion on what colognes or perfumes the gang would wear. horses and cain included, since they are technically a member of the gang!!

Abigail -

something woodsy, maybe like the forest or a campfire, cedar wood, trees, plants.

examples:

- G-Water

- Tam Dao

- Snoqualine

Arthur -

tobacco, scent of alcohol, mud, outdoors.

examples:

- Jasmin et Cigarette

- Rien

- Earthworm

Baylock -

ashes, grease.

examples:

- Tobacco Blaze

- Garage

- La Yuquam Homme

Bill -

any popular male fragrances, or like gunpowder and fire.

examples:

- 9mm Ballistic Therapy

- High Noon

- Campfire Nights

Boaz -

dynamite, money.

examples:

- Wall Street

- Don Xerjoff

- 1805 Tonnerre BeauFort London

Branwen -

oatcakes, apples, water.

examples:

- Lostmarch Lann-Ael

- Be Delicious

- Cavalli Acqua

Bob -

blood, gunpowder, sweat.

examples:

- Vena Cava

- Richard Dark Side

- Secretions Magnefique

Brown Jack

pomade, alcohol, blood.

examples:

- Classic Fragrance

- Heeley Agarwood

- Molotov Cocktail

Cain -

dog, mud, grass.

examples:

- La Panthere Edition Soir

- Grass

- Zoologist Bat

Charles -

light florals, nature, clean fur.

examples:

- Coach Floral

- Super Cedar

- Coyote

Dutch -

blood, metal, tears.

examples:

- Vassago

- Spacewalk

- Rainy Season of Dresden

Davey -

snow, wood, fire.

examples:

- Waltz of the Snowflakes

- Tobacco Vanille

- Inquisitor

Enis -

whiskey, beer, grass.

examples:

- Tom Oud

- Stout ‘n Smoke

- Dune Road

Grimshaw -

sulfur, metal, cinnamon.

examples:

- Bloody Smoke

- Vanille Absolu

- Jupiter

Gwydion -

birds, leather, salt.

examples:

- Seemannn

- Black Saffron

- Millésime Impérial

Hosea -

moonshine, stew, metal.

examples:

- Moscow Mule

- Starfish & Coffee

- Santal 33

Jack -

water, horse, corn oil.

examples:

- Petrichor

- Cuir de Russie

- Seems Legit

Javier -

mahogany, cotton, musk.

examples:

- Redwood Leaves

- Lazy Sunday Morning

- Urban Musk

Jenny -

snow, wool, wood.

examples:

- Redwood Mist

- Battaniye

- Grey Vetiver

John -

sweat, musk, grease

examples:

- Flores Negras

- Silver Musk

- Cristina La Veneno Ni Puta Ni Santa

Kieran -

blood, grass, oats.

examples:

- Hora de la Verdad Sombra

- Figuier Eden

- Harran

Karen -

beer, guns, whiskey.

examples:

- Beguile

- Wicked John

- Kutay

Lenny -

blood, books, bullets.

examples:

- Seems Legit

- Diamonitirion - elixir atonit

- Moon Child

Mac -

metal, bullets, kerosene.

examples:

- Craft

- Iron Duke

- Nuvolari Rubini

Maggie -

dirt, stone, bog.

examples:

- Le Sillage Blanc

- During the Rain

- Swamp elixir

Mary-Beth -

books, ink, gold.

examples:

- Bibliophilia: Love of Books

- Supreme Vanilla

- Royal Blood

Micah -

rot, corn, mold.

examples:

- Saint Louis Cemetery #1

- Funerie

- French Kiss

Molly -

roses, grass, trees.

examples:

- Roses Musk

- Leila Lou

- Colors de Benetton

Nell II -

sweat, cows, pig.

examples:

- Amyi 3.17

- Cuir de Russie

- Hyrax

Old Belle -

carrots, beer, hay.

examples:

- Carotte

- Sónar

- Basilico & Fellini

Old Boy -

musk, tears, cow.

examples:

- Another 13

- Ozone

- Osmanthus

Pearson -

meat, vegetables, crawfish.

examples:

- Gino: Steak Scented Eau de Parfum

- Eau de Cuisine

- Wild Carrot Oud

Reverend -

whiskey, incense, coffee.

examples:

- 7 Loewe

- Bourbon e Fava Tonka

- Black Opium

Sadie -

blood, tears, gunpowder.

examples:

- Bull’s Blood 2nd Edition

- Cool Glacier

- Rendez-Vous!

Sean -

whiskey, sweat, bullets.

examples:

- Malt Akro

- Monochrome

- Amour Nocturne

Silver Dollar -

fire, wool, metal.

examples:

- Encens Pyro

- The Sheepfold, Moonlight

- Rosenrot

Taima -

deer, blood, meat.

examples:

- Ma Bete

- Trinity Blood

- Good Girl Gone Bad

The Count -

sugarcubes, peaches, pears.

examples:

- Pixie Dust

- Allure Eau de Parfum

- First Base

Trelawny -

doves, rabbits, silk.

examples:

- Ruğa Sablo

- Wet Garden

- Baklava Musk

Tilly -

bullets, baby powder, swamps.

examples:

- 266ts Pontiff’s Harley

- Cashmere Mist Eau de Toilette

- Haxan

Uncle -

manure, horse, cow.

examples:

- D’zing

- L’heure Fougueuse

- Zoologist Cow

again, this is my first post so i’m very sorry about it being bad or isn’t looking right for tumblr. so sorry.

[rues-daya]

decided to make a little part two!! part one linked below :)

part one

yourinstagram

liked by maya_hawke , josephquinn and 4,567,009 others

yourinstagram: go out there and make revenge mommy proud!

view all 6,778 comments

y/nfan00 is this a line from the movie 👀

stfans09 oh wow!

y/nfan097 Do Revenge is about to become one of my favorite movies

yourinstagram as it should :)

maya_hawke reporting for duty

y/nfan098 y/n and Maya’s chemistry on and off screen is a m a z i n g

stfans98 josephquinn watch out, imma steal your girl

josephfan07 her and only her

lilireinhart oh wow, your beauty just left me speechless

maikamonroe that’s it, marry me. marry me right now please

yourinstagram give me the time and the date baby

maiareficco this is her world and we are all just living in it 💚

y/nfan98 agree ^^^^

jospehquinn absolutely breathtakingly beautiful my love ♥️

y/nfan02 look I don’t care if his page is run by a friend or a manger either way his comment made my heart skip a few beats and it wasn’t even directed towards me 🥹😭

maya_hawke

liked by yourinstagram, noahschnapp and 5,890,321 others

maya_hawke: ms.steal your girl, sorry not sorry to a certain someone!

tagged: yourinstagram

view all 6,998 comments

stfans000 MAYA THE CAPTION LMAO

y/nfan33 look I love Joseph and Y/N but y’all should date each other instead ….

josephfan18 patiently waiting for Jospeh’s comment 👀

y/nfan123 aren’t we all

noahschnapp same, hurry up and comment already josephquinn

maikamonroe I’ll let this slide one time and one time only ….

alishaboe Eleanor and Drea 🤍

yourinstagram Maya I legit have no words, your caption is leaving me speechless

maya_hawke ;)

y/nfan34 I think maya’s post left joseph speechless

josephquinn ….

y/nfan076 yup maya’s post did in fact leave him speechless if he only commented four dots lmao

josephquinn

liked by gatenm123, yourinstagram and 2,098,003 others

josephquinn: forever proud of you, love ♥️

tagged: yourinstagram

view all 3,009 comments

y/nfan065 when is it gonna be my turn….

gatenm123 congratulations on the new movie y/n and maya

josephfan08 that should be me….

josephfan18 wait, I thought they broke up lmao

y/nfan17 broke up? they were just together like two nights ago and he was legit at the premiere, you guys will believe anything off the internet

maya_hawke I see you trying to steal your girl back but just know my post wins 👀

y/nfans11 her comment, I can’t lmao

maikamonroe her and her only

liked by josephquinn

josephfan12 I think we all collectively forgot that Joseph didn’t actually post this but someone from his team did for him lol

y/nfan18 nah secretly he posted it but he just wants us to believe he didn’t… we know your secret Joseph

yourinstagram 👀👀

yourinstagram baby 🥺

yourinstagram thank you for being by side for it all, I love you so much! my london boy 🤍

josephfan99 HER LONDON BOY… excuse me while go cry in my pillow with happy tears all because y/n called joe her london boy 🥹

yourinstagram

liked by maya_hawke, vanessamorgan and 4,889,001 others

yourinstagram: my london boy 🤍

tagged: josephquinn

view all 4,000 comments

maya_hawke okay you know what, Joseph wins because this is just so darn cute! you two deserve the whole world 🤍

y/nfan45 my parents

madelame you two are the definition of soulmates!

stfans123 Veronica Loge travels back in time to 1986 and captures the heart of Eddie Munson

y/nfan14 her london boy indeed 🥹

nattyiceoffcial 💓💓

josephfan23 his love & her london boy

liked by yourinstagram

josephquinn my love ♥️

yourinstagram my london boy 🤍

y/nfan18 adore this relationship so much and forever happy they found each other 🥺

[hausofmamadas]

PRIMOGENITAL | the Wisdom of Fredward Horniman

From The Gentlemen, Episode 1 - Refined Agression

∴

Look, you guys. He’s really suffered, okay?

He’s been STABBED in the heart, he’s been London-BRIDGED(?), he’s been FUCKED in the face, DOGGED on the floor.

And it’s true. He has, despite being the firstborn son, been relegated to the truly harrowing fate of being the most embarrassingly, painfully, mediocre progeny in the family line, that his dad had no choice but to break with 600yrs of tradition and cut him out of the will, passing everything to younger, much cooler more responsible brother, Edwina “Eddie” Horniman. And isn’t not having a bullshit title, nor the crushing debt of his father’s failed above-board business, nor having to deal with the surprise! extensive, underground potfarm on the estate grounds and all the accompanying stress and criminal hijinx with it— well, isn’t it just the most traumatic thing you can imagine???????

Now all Freddy gets to do is:

live in historic mansion with way-too-cool-to-be-caught-dead-with-him, Inexplicable-Stunt-Driver-Wife Tamasina (known by abs legendary nickname of Wham Tam) who also, when asked by Freddy in a moment of desperation if she thinks he’s a cock, rightly points out, “all men are cocks, Freddy”

pal around in chicken costume and steal cars with chill asf brother that he only occasionally wants dead, Steady Eddie who’s legit so good at everything that Freddy doesn’t have to be good at anything

go “fishing” aka chuck live grenades into lake full of salmon, a method worthy of Park-Tuna-Assassin Ramon Arellano Félix and invent Crack!Weed another Ramon-coded pasttime with bestie-botanist and lover of all things hydroponic, hallucinogenic, and Special Sauce, Jimmy Chang …. AND

Skeet shoot out in picturesque estate garden with creature-whisperer, actual live angel, and all around Dilf-of-the-manor, Geoff

Oh, the horror.

No, but honestly, I cannot summon from memory a single character I have so biblically despised on first watch, only to full 180, violently swing in the opposite direction to straight glee/appreciation for the comedic marvel that is Mr. (not!)Duke-SirFancyPants-RoyalDumpsterFire-LordSomethingErOther, the one, the only, Frederick “Fredward” Horniman aka thisprince👇

Yeah, talk about refined aggression? I had some refined ass aggression toward ole Fred, here. Like when I tell you I hated this “man,” I h a t e d this man.

All I could think the whole time, on first watch was, wowowow, y’know what’s worse than a useless, entitled, infantile, drug-addled, narcissistic man-fetus …?

A loud useless, entitled, infantile, drug-addled, narcissistic man-fetus.

My mans, Eddie is wayyy too generous here☝️and every other time he bails Freddy out of whatever pigshit he manages to shove his full face into bc I’d be throwing more than paper. That antique furniture would regrettably be sailing thru the air, straight at that fat melon of this nepo-baby dressed in DivineRightofKings drag, if only to get a precious few fucking seconds of silence.

Like the only one reacting appropriately here is Charly☝️who Freddy snarkily calls Lady Macbeth with a mix of love and contempt only a sibling can display which like, not the best? insult? To be called one of the most groundbreaking female characters of all time? But our boy is nothing if not scholarly, right. So im sure he super paid attention when the class was reading Macbeth

So, yeah. He’s basically the worst. There’s a metric fuck ton of evidence to support that. AND YET, this mf isn’t completely useless bc after my 2nd and 3rd rewatch specifically witnessing the genius that is his alter ego, plastic Russian gangster, Anatoly Givenchy Romanov who laavs orange cars and Siberian tigers let me do tell you, against my better judgment, I found myself growing to love and adore the (2nd) funniest character in an already hilarious show (crown goes to beautiful tropical fish Jimmy bc mans always proper vibin’)

And now, when I watch this scene, instead of berserker levels of enraged, I’m struck with a disorienting combo of secondhand cringe + juvenile glee??? Like instead of wanting to aggravated manslaughter my own tv, I’m just “awww, Fredward. What a little nothing you are. Look how silly you look in your lil boarding school jumper.” And it feels good(?) but mostly bad. And then I do this

like the true American scum that I am.

═

taglist: @drabbles-mc @when-did-this-become-difficult @narcolini, @ladygoatee ⇝ tagged bc even tho you have zero intention of watching, you were diligently taking notes

[vickozone]

The Magnus Archives

-S5 Notes-

<- previous notes

Handwriting translated below:

#161 old memories, tape that Gertrude should have gave them, Jon says “I love you”, they don’t need to eat to live

#162 Gertrude and Gerry bonding, Tim and Sasha talking about a very relevant subject and Jon and Martin are leaving the safe house.

#163 [VIETNAM FLASHBACKS] [BAGPIPES INTENSIFY]

#164 Gross statement about an infection in a town and Helen talking to Jon and Martin like a proud aunt is beautiful. “I knew you crazy kids would make it work!”

#165 “Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.” The Stranger statement. Not!Sasha messed up!!

#166 Martin suddenly is on a murder episode and a dude turned into a worm. Helen says “Slay!”

#167 “Yes, Martin, you are my reason.” Sweet bonding and why Gertrude didn’t have anymore assists.

#168 “I’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous!” “Why not?” Oh, Martin. Oliver Banks shall live another day and we are crossing The End domain

#169 Let’s willingly run into a burning building, disregarding your boyfriend and getting revenge together! Jude is now dead and Martin was just struggling in the background. He chose revenge over his boyfriend. Interesting. “We’re burning!”

#170 “I’m Martin Blackwood, and I am not lonely anymore!” “Oh… Hello!”

#171 No way I just spent 23 minutes listening to Jon talk about skin flowers in a botanical garden. “That your boyfriend?” “It is, actually.” “Oh.”

#172 Creepy theatre show that made me genuinely uncomfortable with The Web

#173 Where do you think all of the children went? That’s right! The Dark with Callum! Yay!

#174 Simon calling Jon killing him “rude” is hilarious and immediately dipping is iconic. Weird Vast domain with big explosions. Helen loves some good gossip.

#175 The Extinction items, hate for umbrellas, and Martin’s squelchy couch. We’re going to The Hunt next. Oh no.

#176 Adoptive uncle Trevor and Julia are dead. AWESOME HUNT STATEMENT! And we got Basira! :D

#177 ‘Dr. David’ Jon is so hot. This episode has so many trigger warnings. Helen is so silly. Basira is rad, staying with her boys. Won’t let them have a moment tho

#178 More Flesh. Gross processing line and Jon admits that the thing that traumatized him the most was Daisy going to kill him in the woods. Poor babies.

#179 Daisy is shot and killed. Basira is on her own and I have a reason to give Jon a cane.

#180 I have never felt more serene in my life. I can’t even describe it. I was smiling, giggling, and everything feels okay. Salesa and Annabelle are here and I love Salesa’s voice and HE CAN PLAY THE PIANO! Teaholding fluff, om nom nom, this episode is one of my favorites. The I-Spy game <3

#181 They decide to stay at Upton House for a bit longer before leaving. Jon feels his powers again and forgets the whole experience of ignorance. Pity. Seemed like a nice place. I like Salesa.

#182 Anatomy Class student hospital and Breekon asks Jon to kill him. I feel bad for him. :(

#183 “I’m sure I love you.” “I love you too.” THEY SAID IT!! Helen was concerned for them. She’s like a wine aunt who acts motherly to them. Also, Martin’s domain…

#184 Jon made Jordan an entity. That’s a lotta ants! Jon is just… so complicated.

#185 Ouch. Police brutality and wrongful imprisonment are rough subjects. That guy pleading out to Martin HURT. Martin is… somewhere at the end. Alone again, oh, Jonny, I feel horrible.

#186 Martin went from being a joke in Jon’s anger to being one of the most well-developed characters. He is either going to kill himself of Jon. Martin legit talks to himself. Statement made me cry. This better end with them being happy together.

#187 HELEN! D: Aw, man… I liked her. That poor woman. Calm down, Jon! Helen was their friend till the end. Dang it, that was a nail-biter.

#188 We’re in London now! Eyes, man. They’re everywhere. We grieve for Helen a bit. Did I mention EYES?

#189 MEL AND GEORGIE! OMG! They… made a cult and can hide from The Eye. Great.

#190 Fresh take on modern dating! Antichrist plus one! Archivist mocks poems, beloved pet turned monster, and a blind prophet

#191 Jon sleeps with his eyes open. Georgie wants to avenge her cat (I think I’ve seen this film before), mystery can, and Jon and Martin discuss death. Sobbing atm.

#192 Rosie is literally just going with the flow. It’s weird to see someone else’s perspective on things. Jonah’s incantation is awesome and gosh, I love Martin

#193 Elias 'high as a kite' Bouchard’s origins. Jonah’s distorted voice is hot.

#194 THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT D: After a gruesome metamorphosis statement, Jon tried to find Martin to apologize only to find he was taken to HILL TOP FREAKIN ROAD

#195 Just Basira and Jon, catching up and trudging through water. Omg. The Mr. Spider tape.

#196 Earth shattering rip-in-space time crap. Annabelle is wicked cool. Martin keeps getting sucked into things AND THE TAPES!! ASDFEKGLZMV

#197 MARTIN! ANNABELLE! TAPES! THE LIGHTER! INTER-DIMENSIONAL PIT! WE NEED TO DESTROY JONAH AND THE EYE SIMULTANEOUSLY! LES GO!

#198 If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too? Ew, bones reforming. Chill ep. Silly.

#199 Group agrees on plan after ten minute discussion. Martin consulting Jon while he cries in his arms HURT!! Also, Mel thanks Jon. This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?

#200 Statement ends.

Crying tally: |||| |||| (I cried ten [10] times listening to this stupid podcast)

[cometcrystal]

ttpd leak hot takes SPOILIES!!!!!!

out of order because this is how theyre ordered in the drive and i dont give a shit. also its really funny that swifties think these are AI generated. if they end up actually being AI generated thatll be even funnier but i doubt it

but daddy i love him - this one is fun. sure wish it wasnt about matty healy!

clara bow - idgi + sonically uninteresting + L + ratio + linus

down bad - LMAOOOO DONT TELL ME MATTY HEALY GHOSTED TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!

florida - CAN MS SWIFT GET FLORENCE ANDTHEMACHINES TO FEATURE ON ALL HER SONGS!!!!! PLEASE!!! THIS ONE WAS GOOD. but maybe she doesn't feature good artists very often because it highlights how mid her singing is

guilty as sin - straight people love to act like theyre oppressed: the song

i can do it with a broken heart - ok this one got a lil sauce to it! this is like a legit good song about her fame. anti hero if it was epic

i can fix him - a "story" song from what i gather. which is much better than what i thought it was gonna be lmao. unfortunately its not memorable

loml - boring. very strong emotionally but i probably wont listen to it super often

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - how is your conspiracy theory going, the gaylors. pretty good it doesn't seem

so long london - some RLY bad vocals on this one during the bridge LMFAO

the alchemy - patrick star asleep on couch.jpg possibly a schrucy type song if i wanted to

the black dog - SYNTH JUMPSCARE!!!! anyway "6 weeks of breathing clean air and i still miss the smoke" is a good lyric. very clean 1989-esque

the smallest man who ever lived - LMAOO THIS ONE KINDA RULES I KINDA LOVE THIS ONE....we're up to 4 songs ill add to my likes tomorrow

the tortured poets department - NOT THE SCRATCHED YOUR HEAD LYRIC. ELECTRIC CHAIR. i like the part about the ring finger + heart exploding but not enough to relisten

fortnight - not gonna lie im fucking hungry and i have no thoughts on this one im just waiting for it to be over so i can go get food

this ones about on par with midnights for me. i might like it a bit more than midnights tho because its so messy and 90% about matty healy which is so fucking stupid it wraps back around to being funny. like girl what are you doing

standouts to me are but daddy i love him, florida, i can do it with a broken heart, and the smallest man who ever lived. ill listen to the remaining two songs tomorrow

[so-bitya]

funny how much ciel came to hate london

like it was his little dream to go there and open a shop but now he hates it whenever he's called there. 40% of the curry arc is ciel being upset he was called to London again for no good reason. and like! his trauma doesn't really have to do with it I think? (other than madam red, but i feel liked he developed this attitude before then)

legit went through the 'country boy big city dreams -> london's biggest hater' pipeline

[blowflyfag]

Alright gonna be brave here’s my lil undertaker fic I think this will legit be the first one I’ve ever posted soo uhh yeah. I listened to Cemetery Girl by ICP while writing this and Sacrifice by London After Midnight. If you like it please give me suggestions on how to improve and also!!! Maybe request if u want me to write something :3

Cemetery Boy.

90s Undertaker x Male (Wrestler) Reader

The cold stone walls of the funeral parlor felt as if they actively could repeal someone, a sign to not enter without even having any words. Danger, turn back, run. But you weren’t planning on that… no. You were gonna do what no sane man ever dared to. Enter the den of the Undertaker. You’ve seen his matches, the phenomenon that was the deadman. To think of that power on your side? You could be unstoppable.

So you had to brave the trek through the cemetery that seemed to have a perpetual fog and chill in the air. Crows cawing and staring at the graves they rested on as they picked at feathers and cawed. You fiddled with the large key in your hand, shaking for no real reason… the amount of work you had to put in to even get this key was ridiculous… but it’d be worth it in the end. It had to be worth it. The key clicked in the lock and the door seemed to open on its own, slowly, ever so slowly it creaked open. You only cringed at the sound…. If he didn’t know you were in his domain… he surely did now. You took a step in, darkness, the parlor was full of just darkness and perpetual scent of formaldehyde and dust. The only thing that really stood out in the small slimmer of sun from the outside was a vase set upon a table covered in mortuary tools… at least you assumed that’s what they were. But in the vase a bundle of white Lilies. You were shocked by the pristine condition they were in, pushing yourself away from the door to walk towards them before gasping as the door seemed to slam shut. Leaving you in the darkness. You frantically looked around, eyes wide as you tried to adjust to the darkness, you frantically felt around in your jacket pocket, you always kept a box of matches on you in case of emergencies. Shaky hands struggling to strike a flame against the matchbox and once it did you could stare at the white eyes staring back to your own. Ginger hair draped over his face yet the whiteness of his eyes stood out and shook your soul.

A hand reaching out to roughly grab at your neck. You let out a choked gasp as you were hoisted in the air, box of matches falling to the floor as several spilled on the floor. You kicked and grabbed at the hand around your neck, desperate to try and get air into your lungs. His touch, even with the gloves on, was freezing, unnaturally so. As if he had just had his hands in ice.

“Why…. Are you here…?” The gravelly voice spoke. Slow and full of malice..? Was that even the right way to put it? You did kind of just barge into his home.

“J-just wanted to talk man! P-please!” You sputtered out, your face was feeling hotter and hotter as you struggled to pull enough air into your lungs… it seems he contemplated for a moment before dropping you, falling to the floor with a thud as you hacked and desperately tried to pull air into your lungs.

“I don’t care what you have to say… leave.” He spoke coldly as he turned on his foot. You managed to hoist yourself up and huffed. “J-just listen to me man! We could work together! I know you don’t need your help but I do.” You tried to plead. It was embarrassing. “I… I want to be taken more seriously by all of those assholes! They’re all scared of you. If… if you and I were to team up they’d have to take me seriously too!” You begged before watching as the form stopped, your eyes had grown adjusted to the darkness by now. He stood still… the air having a similar sense of stillness.

“What’s in it for me… you have nothing you could offer me…”

“I know that.. so I’ll work for whatever it is you want! Money? I’ll get it for you. Championbelts? I’ll do my fucking best to get them for you. I just-“ you were cut off by him speaking again.

“I have no need…. For your… monetary mortal needs… but. I’ll humor you.”

Your eyes widened. He was going to do it. He was actually going to help you. Your eyes lit up and your smile grew. “Holy shit… you’re serious! You’re going to-“

“Under one condition…”

Your eyes widened. You made a deal with the Deadman. Why did you even think this was a good idea? No no this was an awful idea… but your mouth spoke before your mind. “What is it…”

“Your soul… Will be mine.” He spoke as if it was normal. As if promising your soul to someone was just a normal Tuesday event… you needed this though right..? You needed to be able to stand out. To become something. To prove that… this was what you were supposed to be.

“It’s all yours..” you responded after a moment. Meeting his gaze you gulped and he went closer towards you. His hand reached out to touch your face. He tilted his head to the side, hair covering his face, his touch still just a frigid yet… Now it was comforting in a sense, contrasting to your heated face after the choking. His head jolted up however at a speed with which you hadn’t expected from him, just as quickly as you felt the touch you felt a different kind. A shove to your chest as you were pushed into plushness. Your eyes widened. “Hey what’re you-“ you were cut off as he held a finger towards his mouth. As if to say quiet. As he went to shut the coffin door. Your eyes widened in panic as you tried to peak through a crack… seeing however the reason why you had been hidden. Paul Bearer. You brought your hands to your mouth to cover your breathing… you felt bad for listening over the two, talking about upcoming matches… a casket match against Yokozuna…

“And clean up this mess!” Paul Bearer ended, he must’ve been talking about your spilled matchbox. You watched as he walked off.. Taker staring as he made his way off as well and once he was gone Taker approached the coffin, pulling the door open to look down at you. “You should leave…” he began before walking over towards the matchbox. Picking it up and shoving it to your chest. You quickly scrambled to grab it before nodding.

“Right… right I.. uh.. I’m… Excited to work with you Taker..” you said with a small smile.. oh it was going to be such an interesting change. The newbie with the undertaker? It’d be perfect. It’d be bigger than Shawn Micheals and his Bodyguard. It had to. You followed Taker towards the door, pushing it open slightly to let you out. You took one last look at him with a smile as you gave a little wave. He seemed confused for a moment… raising his own hand and giving a slow wave back… he had a lot of customs to learn.. but that's Alright, you had all the time to teach him. You nodded before turning off and walking into the fog of the cemetery. It wasn’t scary this time though, the fog seemed lighter in a way. Crows simply jumping around and picking through flowers for shiny bits of twine that held them together… this was just The Undertaker's home… and you’d have to get used to it, maybe you already were.

[ofbooksandteacups]

I should have done this a long time ago but here's a small recap of one of the most surreal yet wonderful moments of 2023: meeting the most thoughtful person ever, mr Samuel Kindness Barnett. I actually wrote this after meeting him and it stayed in my drafts until now. That's how good I am at social media lmao.

I decided to get tickets to see Samuel Barnett in Feeling Afraid in September because I wanted to gift myself a holiday in London. No one at my workplace made it seem like it was an issue getting days off. It was my first ever holiday alone (I'm 26, I know) and I was already excited. I got front a row ticket and I managed not to cry of joy while buying it lol.

The time came and I left from Milan after seeing Madonna live. I was shaken from the day before but I managed to get to London and see another show (which I loved). I slept like a baby and the day of Feeling Afraid came. I was legit hyper excited. I'm a playwright but going to see a show always makes me feel like this. It doesn't matter if I'm on stage or I'm seated amongst the audience: the feeling is just the same❤️

The show was absolutely brilliant. Samuel is such a versatile actor, spanning from comedy to drama in little over an hour. I laughed continuously but still managed to feel raw emotions for the most emotional parts. Samuel should be regarded as a national treasure because he's just that good. He is flawless. There's no single thing I've seen of his that I didn't like. Plus, the playwright Marcelo Dos Santos is an amazing writer, I'm still puzzled by the play. I want to be able to write that well in the future. It was absolutely mesmerising.

After the show I waited for him to come out. I'm normally very shy and I never want to bother people when going home after shows or gigs. I was lying against a wall, far from the exit, just in case I had to leave. I really didn't want to be in the way. Yeah, I'm a paranoid. Also, I was perfectly content like that: my seat was next to the stage stairs at the Bush and he sat on the stairs during the show (which is part of the play). I was sitting right next to him while seeing him perform. Pinch me in the arm because I'm still not over it.

He quietly came out of the door like he was one of the audience members and not the star of the play (such a gem, I know). There was another person waiting and they were closest to him so they went first. He then raised his head and just smiled at me. A pure, happiness filled smile. I might just burst out crying remembering this.

After talking to this person (I'm not assuming anyone's gender but if you're on Tumblr and you were there on November 25th, that's you!) I shyly came to him with my copy of The History Boys. If you know me then you know how much I love The History Boys (and I'm sorry because you probably hear me rant about it non stop) and that Posner and Scripps are my comfort characters. He was so nice about it! I lent him the copy and a pen and he started signing it in a very professional way. He saw my tags and asked if I was reading it, which led me to tell him about myself, being a playwright and an acting teacher. I thanked him for playing Posner, which is a comfort character for me as a sapphic woman.

This led him to ask me questions about myself, my life and my safety in the country where I live (I'm Italian and I'm still closeted). This part of the conversation is and will stay private until I'm ready to unpack a series of issues I have (let's say that I'm not in the best space mentally at the moment because of my life aspirations and my sexuality) but I'll tell you that he's definitely one of the most supportive people I've had the chance to talk to. Only a few people know about me in that way: my close friends, a few acquaintances and well, him. He really knows to put you at ease. He then put his hand on my shoulder in the most reassuring way (and I managed not to cry!). We then took a picture and parted ways. I don't know whether to post the photo or not because well, I'm closeted. I'll simply tell you he has the most joyful smile ever.

Weeks later I also got told by an amazing girl I befriended thanks to him (if you're here: hi dear!) that he remembered me and mentioned me to her. I'm still overjoyed now. I can't even express how happy this made me feel. He's the best, we're so lucky we get to see how amazing he is.

As you can imagine: I'm now ready to travel to the UK at any given chance to see him perform on stage (and I'll be seeing Ben and Imo in February, I'M CRYING ALREADY).

[bisluthq]

Why would CFW be treated u fairly though? Like did people have some bias against Joe even when he was with Taylor? Unless there’s some reason idk I’d assume it just want very good to most ppl but you personally liked it a lot. A lot of people find Joe boring and his portrayal of the character boring (yes I know he’s supposed to be etc) who don’t have any bias about him due to Taylor one way or the other

I think lots of people had and have anti Joe bias tbh ESPECIALLY and WHILE he was with Taylor lol like I think it’ll decrease over time. Literally every other review that DIDN’T like it made jokes about London Boy/Lover/etc so yea no they knew.

I think lots of people misunderstood the book. I say this very wholeheartedly but I saw reviews that were going on and on about how this isn’t how they imagined it/how “wrong” it is, but Sally was involved so… it’s how SHE imagined it? It’s also stylistically very in keeping with the book idk? I’m not sure what people imagined. I saw everything from Joe is “too young” to play Nick (he’s explicitly stated to be 30, Joe looked 30 in the show so idk) to Frances is too weird and awkward (that’s explicitly her personality in the book?? She’s super socially awkward, as is Nick, and that’s why they gravitate towards one another because both are overshadowed by Bobbi and Melissa generally and find they sorta can speak to one another rather).

3. I actually think people had Rooney fatigue after NP and BWWAY. She was like EVERYWHERE and I suspect that for a lot of people it sorta started to get less fresh and more annoying. I must say, I personally didn’t really enjoy BWWAY that much so like I too was perhaps a victim of Rooney fatigue and I’ve thought maybe I should reread that book in like 5 years and see what I think then. I’ve read it twice and I did like it better the second time so perhaps if I give it another 5 years I actually will legit like it. My current gripe with it are Alice’s emails, not because I dislike them individually but because I got the sense that they’re just Sally’s essays on like… life… and then she should’ve published an essay collection.

4. I also get the sense it came at a different time and was “bigger” than Normal People/a lot more hyped than that (I learned last nights one of the awards it won is being the most looked up TV project on IMDb) and that in part was Taylor related but it’s also just not a good thing because NP followed an organic thing and came out during the pandemic when we were all sad and horny and bored and so it was very zeitgeisty. (Same as folklore lol). Those two things were very pandemicy. By the time CWF came out, people had gotten vaxxed and were starting to go out so sad and boring and horny wasn’t necessarily what people wanted. Also people who WEREN’T the demographic for or hadn’t ever watched NP watched CWF and… were bored.

5. Back to the overhype/oversaturation like it’s a problem Marvel faces now. People are over it. I was watching a fairly long form piece on BBC about like Marvel’s fuckups in relation to Deadpool and Wolverine (obviously which will actually be a huge hit but which is also very different in tone/vibe than the rest of the MCU) and the one woman did say like audiences are just over Marvel and I tend to agree. I’m not sure the movies have gotten that much worse but we’re just over them.

6. I bring up all of the above because it wasn’t just Joe related obviously but like I saw criticism of essentially Lenny’s style (the hyper realism which is his hallmark) and it didn’t do well in technical categories even though it was technically phenomenal so 🤷🏻‍♀️ No, it wasn’t purely Taylor/Joe related but that didn’t help.

7. As I have said many, many times - Limited Series is probably the most competitive thing to seriously compete with these days and plenty of ones with big names and that are actually very genuinely GOOD, to use my least favorite term, “flop” but most (all based on that weird this was the most looked up thing on IMDb award) aren’t as hyped as this so people have more choice to watch it or nah.

[dilf-in-peril]

Not to get all moralistic (because I’ve definitely been laughing at the whole thing sorry Punk I love you) - someone pointed it out but deliberately fucking with his travel stuff is a form of workplace bullying and that’s legit kinda fucked up. In an unfamiliar country with a subway system that’s notorious for being hard to navigate? Hmm

Oh yeah, I think it's massively fucked up if it's intentional. Sure, it could all be a coincidence that you left your big star stranded at the airport and gave him the wrong number. But I'm guessing if Punk ever goes on a podcast again he would have many fun stories to tell.

Although he chose to take the tube on purpose? He could have called a taxi since I hope he knew the hotel and wasn't just randomly walking around London calling out for the boys.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

books can describe a person, or can they?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/entertainment/books/617196/Chelsea-footballer-author-Frank-Lampard-favourite-books/amp

omg, i had never seen this particular book rec list of his--i LOVE this, here are my thoughts

of mice and men--he cites this as one of his favorite books a lot and i'm just like jeez--i hated this book when i had to read it for 7th grade english, it's so fucking depressing, okay emo boy

tom's midnight garden--i've never heard of this but this sounds like the kind of kids' book i would have really enjoyed...something old school and quietly imaginative, it's sweet that he includes it

the making of modern britain-- "I have an interest in politics and history and I’m proud of being British" adfkad;jdfk;gkdlj this killed me... also "My father began life in post-war east London and this helped me to imagine him growing up." frank lampard go 5 minutes without talking about your dad challenge

A BOOK ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN? *needle scratch* nerd alert! "Americans don’t expect you, as an Englishman and a footballer, to have knowledge of their history so it’s good for dinner party conversations." this threw me...i highkey love that he recommended a book on abraham lincoln lol i think when he said his favorite subjects in school were history and latin he wasn't lying

andrea pirlo's book...i like that he's reading it while playing with pirlo at NYCFC, that's cute lol

a crime/spy/terrorist thriller? "I love to read crime thrillers when I’m travelling with the team and this is one I didn’t want to put down." omg this reminds me of some other interview where he talks about everyone on the chelsea bus playing video games and him writing in his little notebook !

i feel like you can legit analyze these choices so hard hahaha and also if you know anything about franko they make a lot of sense

[hysteria-things]

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

My, my, my, my

(You can't touch this)

Music hits me so hard

Makes me say "Oh, my Lord

Thank you for blessing me

With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet"

It feels good when you know you're down

A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown

And I'm known as such

And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you, homeboy

You can't touch this

Yeah, that's how we livin', and ya know

You can't touch this

Look in my eyes, man

You can't touch this

Yo, let me bust the funky Iyrics

You can't touch this

Fresh new kicks and pants

You got it like that

Now you know you wanna dance

So, move outta your seat

And get a fly girl

And catch this beat

While it's rolling

Hold on

Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on

Like that, like that

Cold on a mission, so fall on back

Let 'em know that you're too much

And this is a beat, uh, they can't touch

Yo, I told you

You can't touch this

Why you standing there, man?

You can't touch this

Yo, sound the bell, school's in, sucker

You can't touch this

Give me a song or rhythm

Making them sweat, that's what I'm giving them

Now, they know

You talk about the Hammer

When you're talkin 'bout a show

That's hyped and tight

Singers are sweatin'

So pass them a wipe or a tape

To learn

What it's gonna take in the 90's to burn

The chart's legit

Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word, because, you know

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

"Go with the flow", it is said

If you can't groove to this, then you probably are dead

So, wave your hands in the air

Bust a few moves

Run your fingers through your hair

This is it, for a winner

Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner

Now move, slide your rump

Just for a minute, let's all do the bump

(Bump, bump, bump)

Yeah

You can't touch this

Look, man

You can't touch this

You'll probably get hyped, boy, 'cause you know you can't

You can't touch this

Ring the bell, school's back in

Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me

That Hammer's just so hype

I'm dope on the floor

And I'm magic on the mic

Now, why would I ever

Stop doing this

With others making records

That just don't hit?

I toured around the world

From London to The Bay

It's "Hammer! Go, Hammer! MC Hammer! Yo, Hammer!"

And the rest can go and play

"U Can't Touch This"

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Yeah

You can't touch this

I told you

You can't touch this

Too hype, you can't touch this

Yo, we're outta here

You can't touch this

very inspirational

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

MTV Amp 1997 Big Beat / Breakbeat / Drum n Bass

Man, I *religiously* watched MTV when their electronic music show, Amp, was apparently on the air, but I legit had no idea that it ever existed until maybe a few years ago. And I've constantly chided the US arm of MTV for largely ignoring electronic music throughout their history, but evidently, I've been wrong this whole time. They just put it on when almost no one was awake to actually watch it 😁. But Amp seems to have developed a cult following among a certain set of night owls, as tends to happen with all kinds of late night programs of different stripes.

And this show had to have been, like, a portal into a different world for the folks who were fortunate enough to have seen it, because it was really like nothing else MTV had ever aired before in America, both musically and visually, as the videos were far more ~out there~ than what typically got played during the network's daytime and primetime hours.

But as good as this CD is, it actually doesn't appear to fully encapsulate the true essence of Amp, because while the show presented videos from a range of different electronic genres, this release seems to be primarily focused on just one specific type: the futuristically dystopian, post-nuclear hellscape kind that was made up of high-octane, acid-addled big beat and breakbeat tunes; hard, intense, dark, and sharp-edged; a sort of proto-Matrix sound; a post-industrial club music for dudes who sleep on beds of nails. This portion of Amp was like an electronic version of Headbanger's Ball: it had the same level of propulsive energy and angst that was so germane to grunge, some post-grunge, and metal, but it channeled it in a way that was probably far more unfamiliar to a general MTV audience at the time. But Amp also played Daft Punk.

And you have to think that, since this show debuted in 1996, this specific sound that's captured throughout this CD had to have played a role in pioneering a future-is-now electronic sound in the US, as that sonic aesthetic came to dominate the soundtracks for gobs of turn-of-the-millennium visual media that dealt with high-tech themes and gadgetry, like The Matrix, et al.

So, here it is: about an hour's worth of some of the more intense sounds that played on Amp in '96 and part of' 97, most of it deeply influenced by The Chemical Brothers, and more than two-thirds of it coming from British acts. You won't find any house or trance on here, or barely any techno either, besides Josh Wink's "Are You There?," a frenzied acid techno-breakbeat hybrid that succeeded his similarly formulated "Higher State of Consciousness" from '95. What you have here is basically a who's who of breakbeat and big beat, with those aforementioned Chem Bros, Fluke, Underworld, The Future Sound of London, Orbital, The Prodigy, and The Crystal Method, along with a small handful of tracks from the worlds of both drum- and drill n' bass, with offerings from Photek, Aphex Twin, and Goldie, as well as some trip hop-acid funk-rock from the one and only Tranquility Bass. Plus, Atari Teenage Riot, a band that fused punk rock and pummeling, high-BPM drums to yield a type of uniquely earaching sound that I definitely see the appeal of, but that I also can't fucking stand 😅.

Boy, did I really miss out on this show. What a trip it must've been to actually catch it in real time. I'm guessing most of the people reading this never got to see it either 😔.

Highlights:

The Chemical Brothers - "Block Rockin' Beats" Fluke - "Atom Bomb" Underworld - "Pearl's Girl" Aphex Twin - "Girl / Boy Song" Orbital - "The Box" Tranquility Bass - "We All Want to Be Free" Goldie - "Inner City Life" Prodigy - "Voodoo People (The Chemical Brothers Remix)" Josh Wink - "Are You There?" The Crystal Method - "Busy Child"

[weltonlasso]

legit think they changed the ending because apple wanted to make more seasons. keeping Ted apart from his Richmond family at the end only makes sense narratively to keep the door open for his return.

Truly the show has shown us that the (1) singular thing in Kansas for Ted is Henry. And the show repeatedly this season dropped hints that Henry was struggling. But the second Henry comes to London while Dr Jacob and Michelle are there? He’s having fun! Thriving! He is playing football at practice WITH AFC RICHMOND!!! Like this boy is living his dream.

TED: Hey buddy I could get paid a billion dollars do you wanna come live where the Beatles live for like mmm the next 5-10 years? Henry would have been all over that.

Why didn’t Ted have a response to that offer from Rebecca? Truly just a, “you have your answer?” “Yah, I do. Henry wants to stay in Kansas, I asked him and he’s not ready to Leave yet, so I gotta go.” OHHHH okay they had a convo and Kansas is it. That’s sad but thanks for confirming. He’s doing this because his son ASKED HIM TO.

Or instead they could just not give the audience any clue as to why it’s so important that he raise his son IN KANSAS and not in a loving place like Richmond? Hahaha I’m just??????

Oh, cause the Apple Cash cow needed a better reason to get the band back together later on. And this way it can be with (not likely) or without Jason.

Anyway!!!! Extremely bad writing or it got changed at the last minute!!!!!!!!