#boy his trust issues make me Reflect On Things

[rusted-pipe-of-wisdom]

litany against trust

[slytherinslut0]

MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twenty Five-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

Tags: 18+, Dirty Talk, Threats of Violence, Jealousy, Toxic Behaviours, Possessive Behaviours, Mentions of GunPoint (enchanted gun but still), Italian, Flirty!Theodore!Nott, Angst, Sexual Tension.

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"I don't know about this, Em..."

Giggles danced through the air, originating from your blonde companion, currently immersed in a thorough investigation of your shared closet. Her voice, laced with amusement, murmured something indecipherable, the words muffled by the solidity of the wooden door. A long sigh escaped your lips, a potent release of pure exasperation.

"This is crazy," you muttered to yourself. "Nott is going to need an entire bloody medical team when he catches sight of me..."

The enchanting red dress, a gem sourced from a privy boutique in Hogsmeade under Mattheo's explicit direction, molded itself to every contour as you confronted your reflection in the mirror. As your eyes traversed the fabric's journey, or rather, the lack thereof--there was no escaping the undeniable truth; the dress was exquisitely tight, sparing no nuance of your silhouette to the imagination.

"Doubt he'll even get the chance..." Emily replied, finally reemerging from the closet, "lover boy will likely claim his head the moment he fixes his gaze on you for too long."

Emily's cheeky response added a layer of playful anticipation to the charged atmosphere, earning an exaggerated eye roll from you in response as you fought hard to suppress your smirk.

When you'd embarked on the hunt for the ideal dress, you had brought Emily along for her valuable opinion. As your gaze fell upon this specific piece, uncertainty gripped you, convinced it might be a touch excessive. Yet, Emily staunchly opposed that notion. Her unwavering belief in its perfection became a contagion, subjecting you to prolonged minutes of relentless persuasion. Gradually, her infectious enthusiasm chipped away at your resistance until, inevitably, you succumbed--reluctantly handing over Mattheo's gifted galleons.

"And do I truly wish to burden my conscience with the death of the schools most popular Italian playboy? And not to mention Riddle's certain Azkaban sentence...all but a couple months from graduation?" you deadpanned, fingers instinctively rising to massage your temples in an attempt to alleviate the burgeoning headache. "Maybe I should just borrow something from your-"

"Absolutely not," Emily interjected, her voice cutting through your proposal with firm decisiveness. She approached you, a sparkle in her eyes, and added, "you look perfect. Trust me on this."

Meeting your eyes in the mirror, Emily's irises shimmered with a warm reassurance. She adjusted her flowy emerald green dress, a garment she had acquired at Tom's request--they were going to the masquerade together, though the status of their relationship still remained uncertain.

Emily, ever the advocate of going with the flow, a concept apparently foreign to Tom, said she wasn't in any rush to make things official, understanding that perhaps it would look a tad bit odd for him to start dating her after he'd just paraded you around to all of his friends, merely less than a few weeks go.

And as a result of this, you and Emily had a long, in depth heart-to-heart conversation where you made sure to unravel any lingering issues--the liberating honesty and the comfort of having someone in your corner again felt tangible. Although initially perturbed by the extended secrecy, Emily eventually grasped the rationale behind your discretion, acknowledging the protective measures taken for yourself and your desired career.

The depth of your longstanding friendship played a pivotal role in fostering this understanding, and you'd never been more thankful to have such a wonderful, supportive friend in your life.

"What do you think Michael will do when he spots you wearing traitor colours?" you teased, an impish grin playing on your lips as you watched Emily fix her long blonde hair, adjusting herself in the reflection.

"I reckon he'll be rather unamused," she snorted, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "But he'll be in for a real surprise when he sees you cozying up with Theodore Nott, the traitor extraordinaire."

"Cozying up with Theodore?" you retorted with a smirk, feigning innocence. "Absolutely not, I just recently cleared my conscience, I intend on keeping it that way."

"I wouldn't underestimate the Italian playboy; word on the street is he can be quite insistent..." Emily spun back around to face you, a cheeky smile playing on her lips. "My suggestion is that you tell him about Mattheo before he unwittingly finds himself sharing a bed with Berkshire."

Your expression sank, and a twist formed in your stomach. "Oh, gods, Emily, I need to change," you exclaimed, spinning around and making a beeline for the closet. "Surely there's a garbage bag or your grandmas old moo-moo hidden in here that I could wear instead, right?"

Emily's sudden snort echoed through the room, reverberating far louder than you'd expected. With swift precision, she wielded her wand, slamming the closet door shut before you could reach it.

"Come on, it's going to be fun," she teased, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Give those cocky Slytherin boys an experience they've never had before. Making them squirm is a rare opportunity--after all, they're not used to being denied anything."

You hesitated, a reluctant smile crawling across your face at her words as you silently considered the prospect. Mattheo had always made it abundantly clear that girls were typically within arm's reach for him, and he could have anyone he desired. The idea of driving him to the brink tonight, knowing he couldn't do a thing about it after explicitly instructing Theodore to ask you, ignited a rebellious spark within you.

"Alright, but this better not turn into a disaster," you responded, your internal thoughts dancing between uncertainty and a subtle thrill. "If the mafia comes after me because I smacked their most prized possession, I'm blaming you."

"You look fucking hot. Own it," she encouraged, a playful smile dancing on her lips. Turning her attention to the door, a sudden realization struck her. "I've got to run. Promised Michael I'd help him with his bloody tie--but don't forget to check the mail. Something arrived for you earlier."

With a swift goodbye, she whisked away, grabbing her matching emerald green eye mask, leaving you to contemplate the mysterious package. Not one to dawdle, you approached the table by the door, spotting a small brown box with your name inscribed on it.

With eager anticipation, you unwrapped the package, unveiling a stunningly bejeweled red mask. A note accompanied the alluring accessory, bearing the cryptic message:

"Something about me, I fucking hate the colour yellow."

A smirk played on your lips as you extracted the exquisite gift from its velvet cradle. The crimson mask lay in your hands, a stunning creation adorned with gemstones that caught and reflected the light with each subtle movement. Blush flooded your cheeks as you approached the mirror, slipping the mask on. Turning your head in every direction, you marveled at the way it enhanced your features, making you feel like a mysterious enchantress.

The beauty of the mask was beyond words, and even though the logical part of you knew it had to be from Mattheo, the sheer magnificence of the gift made it feel almost surreal.

After what felt like an eternity lost in the mirror, admiring the stunning mask, the realization hit that you needed to meet Theodore. He'd mentioned waiting for you at the entrance to your common room, so as swiftly as possible, you adjusted your dress, attempting to cover up your chest, and gracefully slipped out of your room, navigating the familiar halls with a sense of purpose.

The chilled corridor welcomed you as you emerged, and after a brief moment of searching, there, like an awakening spell, you spotted Theo--and your stomach nearly leapt into your chest at the sight of him.

"Holy shit, Nott...are you...are you actually wearing enemy colors?" Your jaw dropped as you beheld Theodore in a Ravenclaw blue suit, a sight you'd never expected in a million years. "Hold still, I need to take a bloody picture of this."

Theo's arrogant response came with a sly smirk, his dark eyes tracing hungrily over your figure. He stood before you in a pristine suit, accompanied by matching vest, and a crisp white dress shirt underneath. The ensemble was adorned with exquisite gold links and buttons, showcasing his impeccable taste. His confident demeanour suggested that he indeed cleaned up more than nicely, and this was only a slight indication of his professionalism.

"Sure, have your laughs," he quipped, an arrogant smirk playing on his lips. His eyes moved deliberately, scanning the curves of your figure. "Enjoy the view while it lasts, little bird. This suit's debut is a one-time thing—I might just set it ablaze once the night is over."

"Well you certainly know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?..." you teased, grin stretching past your ears as you took another step closer. "How honoured I am to accompany you in this suits first and only outing."

"Your wit is far too sharp for a Ravenclaw," Theo huffed in amusement, his stormy eyes glistening behind his dark blue mask. "You look properly fucking flaming by the way...do pardon my French."

You snorted, gracefully taking his arm as he offered it, intertwining yours around his. "French? I was under the impression you were Italian, Signor Nott."

"You speak it?" Theo raised an intrigued eyebrow, briefly glancing down at you as the two of you strolled towards the ballroom.

"Partially," you replied, a playful glint in your eye, your attention split between the conversation and the challenge of navigating gracefully in your black heels. Each step resonated with a confident clack on the school floors. "I dabble in a multitude of tongues...a side effect of an inquisitive mind."

"Is that so?" he said, pure intrigue in his tone. "Talk to me in Italian then,"

"Are you serious?" You snorted, far louder than you'd intended, waiting for him to say he was joking. He simply looked down at you, eyes locked on yours behind the mysterious mask.

"Absolutely serious," Theo chuckled, the breathy tones dancing in the air, a subtle spark of challenge in his eyes. "A little ball of knowledge, huh? Prove it."

A warm flush crept up your cheeks as you stifled your laughter. Theo had a charm of his own, a natural way of drawing people in much like Mattheo, although the troublemaking wizard had a slightly more breathtaking allure with those dark, intoxicating eyes and that unruly mop of chocolate curls. It wasn't a shortcoming on Theo's part--it was simply the irreplaceable magnetism that Mattheo possessed, but you couldn't deny the way Nott was making you feel.

"Alright, you want me to put my money where my mouth is, I respect that." You teased, clearing your throat as you pondered an Italian phrase that might leave an impression. After a brief moment of contemplation, it dawned on you. "Non c'è rosa senza spine."

(There is no rose without thorns.)

"Buona scelta," he replied with a smirk, his tone holding an air of both appreciation and subtle challenge. "Sei più astuta di quanto pensassi."

(Good choice; you’re more clever than I thought.)

"You underestimate me, Nott," you chuckled, a surge of pride coursing through you. "Consider that your first mistake."

"You know, the more I get to know you, the larger my desire to figure you out becomes,” he said, dropping his tone into a husky whisper as the two of you turned a corner. "You are...intriguing."

It was at this moment, as the two of you entered into the bustling main hall, that you were extremely thankful this event was a masquerade. The mask provided a welcome veil of anonymity, shielding you from the prying gazes that threatened to make you uneasy. It seemed you were blending seamlessly into Theo's arm, a part of the enigmatic allure rather than a subject of scrutiny.

"You couldn't figure me out in a million years," you retorted, a sharp edge to your tone, the corners of your lips subtly playing with a hint of a smirk. "Better men have tried."

Theo, as expected, didn't like that response. "Don't tempt me, little bird...I will make it my life's mission."

You rolled your eyes, chewing on your cheek. "You're far too sure of yourself, Theodore."

"Look at that, Bella...you're already using my first name," he quipped, smirking. "I'm making progress without even trying."

You fought the urge to smack him, your eyes narrowing in a playful challenge. "To know me, Signor Nott, I'll put you through hell...just ask Riddle, he can certainly attest."

"Mm, thats precisely the thing, little bird..." he said, his smirk holding a touch of intrigue. "Riddle's a closed book when it comes to you. Doesn't spill a damn thing, makes me wonder what secrets the two of you are hiding.”

"Quite a conspiracy, I'd say," you chuckled, relishing the light banter between you two as the distant sounds of music and laughter from the ballroom grew louder. With a nod and a playful smile, you gestured toward the entrance. "Shall we?"

Theo nodded, a playful glint in his eyes, as he released your arm and extended a hand to the small of your back, ushering you forward. "After you, milady"

Upon crossing the threshold into the ballroom, a breathtaking scene unfolded before your eyes. The room was adorned with vibrant spring decorations, an enchanting celebration marking the approaching end of the term. The fragrance of fresh flowers wafted through the air, and the soft glow of enchanted lanterns bathed the room in a warm, golden radiance. Hogwarts students from all years, dressed in their finest attire, wore a dazzling array of masks, each one a unique work of art.

As your eyes darted around the room, the search for familiar faces led you to a moment of anticipation. The diversity of masks, ranging from intricate designs to whimsical shapes, made it challenging to discern familiar faces.

Finally, your gaze landed on the only man you'd ever go out of your way to search for, his distinctive chocolate curls drawing your attention like a magnet amidst the sea of masked enchantment. The mere fucking sight of him, cloaked in newfound sophistication, sent a thrilling pulse through your veins, awakening sensations in your body that you were unprepared to face.

He stood there, like a fucking silhouette of elegance, adorned entirely in black--black mask, black suit pants, a sleek black dress shirt, and a finely tailored black suit vest. The only splash of colour adorned him in the form of a satin red tie, perfectly mirroring the shade of your dress. The entirety of your being froze in place, your throat resembling a parched desert, the sole reminder to keep moving coming from the steady pressure of Theo's hand on your back, coaxing you forward through the enchanting crowd.

As the two of you veered closer to them, the tension in your body was almost painful. Truth be told, it wasn't the singular presence of Mattheo that set your heart racing like a high-performance sports car on race day--oh, no, the true accelerant was his fucking date. The very girl from the washroom, the one you had directed him to accompany, and the vibrant colour of her long, flowing dress:

Yellow.

"Riddle, Malfoy," Theo uttered, initiating a firm handshake with each of his Slytherin comrades as they exchanged greetings. "Parkinson, Lanalock."

"Nott," Parkinson remarked, a smile gracing her features. "Never expected to see you in blue. You could easily pass for a Ravenclaw, you know."

Theo's response carried a touch of cunning arrogance, sneaking you a glance. "A choice made with utmost consideration, you might say."

In the midst of the social dance, your gaze and Mattheo's remained locked, an unbroken connection that felt more like a silent conversation than a mere exchange of glances. The unspoken tension between you two hung thick, and in that charged moment, it was uncertain if either of you had even blinked. Your heart pounded not only in your throat but also seemingly echoed in another, more intimate part of you as well.

Mattheo had never looked more fucking captivating, and the longing for him intensified by the millions--that merciless irresistible force effortlessly working to pull you closer.

Just as the tension threatened to become all-encompassing, Professor Dumbledore's voice reverberated over the lively chatter, his warm tone weaving through the air.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the enchanting Spring Masquerade. I hope the magic of the night unfolds to your desires. Now, if you would kindly make your way to the dance floor, we are about to commence the first slow dance of the evening. So, let the celebration begin."

The resonance of Dumbledore's voice snapped you from Mattheo's visual captivity, prompting a few deliberate blinks and an expelled breath laden with tension. Theo, with a gentle glance, took your hand, guiding the group to choose spots on the dance floor directly adjacent to one another. It required every fiber of your being not to steal a glance at Mattheo, aware that the mere sight of him holding another girl would induce a wave of nausea within you.

Your attention became an exclusive affair with Theo. As he placed his hands on your hips, his grip was tender, a sensation entirely distinct from anything you'd experienced with Mattheo. A sharp intake of breath accompanied the elevation of your arms, led your palms to find a gentle perch on Theo's shoulders. In the depths of his stormy blue eyes, you unintentionally delved, oblivious to the intensity of the eye contact you established--you were so lost in your own thoughts that a bomb could go off in this very room, and you were certain you wouldn't even flinch.

Then, Theo's voice broke the silence. "Little bird, are you alright?"

"Oh, yes," you blinked, your voice escaping your throat in a cracked whisper, as though each word were a struggle for breath. "And you?"

"More than," he quipped, a teasing smirk playing on his lips.

Your watchful eyes tracked the journey of his gaze, starting from your eyes, sliding leisurely to your lips, lingering provocatively before venturing lower, dipping over your chest with a seductive grace before sinuously slithering back up. The subtle intimacy of the visual exploration ignited a warmth within you, and you glimpsed his lips, recalling Emily's advice from your dorm. Make these men squirm.

"Glad to hear it," you mused, a playful edge to your tone, your fingers tightening their grip on his shoulders as he delicately drew you closer. "Wouldn't want the Italian playboy to be anything other than alright."

His grip tightened perceptibly, the sensation almost tangible as if his nails could breach the delicate fabric of your dress. The room plunged into a soft dimness, signaling the beginning of the slow dance. The shift in atmosphere was unexpected, enough to make you jump slightly. For a fleeting moment, you locked eyes with Mattheo, finding his gaze fixed on you, his hands scarcely making contact with his date.

Hastily looking away, Theo's voice reached your ear, dangerously close, "Italian playboy, hmm? Is that what they're calling me these days?"

"Don't act like you weren't already aware," you chuckled softly, the resonance carrying a hint of mischief. "Though, I must say, the rumors might be onto something."

Theo smirked, his voice a low murmur tinged with arrogance. "Well, uccellino, despite the rumors, I assure you I am a proper gentleman..."

A sharp intake of breath caught in your throat as his nails dug deeper into the fabric of your dress, compelling you closer as the two of you gracefully swayed to the music.

"How gentle you are, indeed," you mumbled, chewing your lip as you met his gaze, the two of you dangerously close together.

Theo's gaze deepened, his lean frame bending down as his lips brushed against your ear. "I may be a gentleman, Bella," he murmured, the words a seductive whisper. "...but if you keep looking at me like that--with those big eyes, biting on your goddamn lip...we might just be fucking on the nearest surface I find."

Oh, no. This was bad. Your response stammered out before you could even think to stop it, panic flickering in your eyes.

"I-I, excuse me," you stuttered, hastily breaking away from the dance just as the song was nearing its end. The abrupt departure carried a mix of flustered embarrassment and a desperate need to collect yourself.

Seeking refuge, you maneuvered toward the drink table nestled in the far corner of the room. The dim light and distant chatter provided a momentary escape as you began to slam back drinks, attempting to drown the intensity of the encounter with Theo.

As the remnants of a calm facade settled within, a subtle shift in the atmosphere stirred your senses. A tingling awareness compelled you to glance over your shoulder, only to find yourself ensnared in the dark, intoxicating depths of Mattheo's eyes. A strange yet undeniable wave of relief washed over you, despite the fact that he stood looming directly behind, adopting the guise of casualness while pretending to grab a drink.

"Mattheo," you breathed his name, the syllables escaping your lips like a breathless sin, a recognition of the forbidden allure that surrounded him. "What are you doing?"

Mattheo's breath, a tantalizing whisper, brushed against the nape of your neck, setting your nerves ablaze. "I can't stand the way he's touching you, Raven...I can't even stand the way he's fucking looking at you..."

Your lungs seemed to stall. "This was your idea, Matty..."

"I'm well aware," he hissed, the energy radiating from him palpable in the charged air. "Fuck, you look so fucking sexy...you are so goddamn beautiful, you know that?"

"I'm not sure I do..." your heart melted, a subtle heat pulsating through your thighs. "I think I need you to tell me again."

"You are so, so fucking beautiful..." he muttered, his voice a deep husk, strained with lust as it left his throat. "You are the most captivating girl in this entire fucking room...I can't stop staring at you...I can't stop needing you..." you gasped as his hand grazed over your ass, subtly, but a feeling you'd never miss. "What do you think you're fucking doing to me, hm?"

You nibbled on your bottom lip, the flush of blood coloring your face. "At this moment...nowhere bloody close to enough."

Mattheo's voice, saturated with desire, responded, "You're absolutely right, princess...and I can't wait to have you all to myself, as soon as this dumb fucking dance is over."

A soft hum escaped you as your lids fluttered, reveling in the warmth of Mattheo's body behind you. "Unless Nott gets to me first..."

As though a switch had been flipped, Mattheo's hand seized your wrist with a subtle yet undeniable warning, a silent caution against uttering anything remotely similar again.

"Don't even joke about that, Raven," he growled, the intensity in his voice cutting through the air. "I swear to Salazar himself, what I did to Berkshire will pale in comparison to what I'll do to Nott."

"So jealous, Matty..." you purred, smirking as he slowly released your wrist. You couldn't deny that his possessive tendencies did something to you, however fucking insane they were. "So angry..."

"You like that, don't you?...dirty little slut..." you could practically hear the smirk on his perfect fucking lips, your entire body vibrating with need. "Keep tempting me, princess...I'll bend you over this table, fuck you in front of the whole fucking school...I'll point my gun at Notts fucking head and make him watch, on his knees in front of you as I fuck you stupid...how does that sound for jealous, hm?"

Breath eluded you, the sheer intensity threatening your consciousness. "Godric, help you..."

"Sorry, Raven, but the only help from above that I believe in is a sniper on a rooftop..." Mattheo's voice, a deep, honeyed drawl, slipped from his lips. "And just so you're aware, I know eighty different ways to kill a man--and I can make an easy seventy nine of them look like a bloody accident...understand?"

"Fuck..." your mind struggled to form coherent thoughts. It had been days since his last touch, and the way he spoke now made you crave him more than the very air you breathed. "I don't think I do...I think I need you to tell me again..."

"I've never been a jealous man, Raven..." Mattheo's gaze swept the surroundings, ensuring no lingering gazes were watching. Satisfied, he shifted slightly, his lips now at your other ear. "I've never envied someone for what they have or who they're with, and yet, I'm damn jealous of every asshole you smile at, everyone you openly converse with...I've never fucking wanted something that I couldn't have, a girl I couldn't get...so this, all of this...is fucking maddening."

Your lungs seemed to stall, a momentary freeze as if he'd submerged you into the heart of a raging inferno. A surge of warmth flooded through every fiber of your being, an intoxicating heat.

"I need you," your voice murmured, the words dripping with a desperate longing. "I need you in every fucking way imaginable..."

"Mm," Mattheo hummed, the warmth of his touch tracing the curve of your hip. "Such a delightfully dirty mouth for a princess..."

Feigning innocence, you lifted your gaze to meet his, a coy smile gracing your lips. "Perhaps...but even princesses have their secret pleasures, don't they, Matty?"

For a moment--a fleeting, beautiful fucking moment--your eyes locked, and it was in that secret realm, where slight smirks played on each of your lips, and the tension was fucking so thick that you could hardly breathe--where you both knew you've found what the whole fucking world was still carelessly searching for.

And it was there, that you knew--no man, no job, no fucking career could ever make you feel as happy and needed and treasured as Mattheo Riddle did. In his own, crazy, fucked up way.

Mattheo blinked. "Meet me in the washroom in forty minutes.”

—————————

Chapter 26->

[goldfades]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 / 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 / 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘, 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐘?─JB⁹

TRACK 15 ─── THE ALCHEMY

TTPD CELLY MASTERLIST !

౨ৎ ─ summary | after joe and his teammates dub you his "lucky charm" after thrid win in a row. the two reflect on your past relationships and the undeniable chemistry you've found with joe.

─ word count | 2k

─ warnings | nothing but sweet fluff and some angst (past-tense tho LMAO)

YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND why you had the worst luck when it came to relationships.

Well, the singular relationship you'd ever been ever since your sophomore year of high school. It started off so good, then slowly became rocky. At first, everything seemed perfect ─ late-night calls that stretched into the early hours of the morning, shared laughter over inside jokes, and the dizzying feeling of being head over heels for each other. But as time went on, cracks began to appear.

Small disagreements turned into heated arguments. Trust issues eroded and doubts began to creep into your mind. You tried to ignore the warning signs, hoping things would get better, but they only seemed to worsen.

You found yourself constantly questioning whether you were good enough, whether you were loved and appreciated. Each day felt like walking on eggshells, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

Despite your efforts, the relationship kept deteriorating, leaving you feeling confused, hurt, and lost.

The only reason why you stayed so long was because he was the only love you'd ever known and by the time you'd realized maybe he wasn't what you wanted, everyone was already expecting you two to settle down.

You wrestled with conflicting emotions, torn between the fear of being alone and the longing for a relationship that truly fulfilled you. The pressure from others to stay in the relationship only added to your confusion, making it even harder to see a way out.

When you finally ripped the band-aid off, it was scary. It felt like everyone was against you, the people you'd known your entire life practically were now shit-talking you behind your back. Friends and family, who once saw you as a perfect match, now seemed to view you as the one who ruined everything.

After that whole mess of a relationship, you wanted to be single. You wanted to feel how it feels like to be alone, to truly relish in not having an obligation to anyone.

But that was what you were trying to convince yourself ─ you were scared of being in another relationship. The thought of opening up to someone new, of risking your heart to be broken again, filled you with a sense of dread.

That was, until you'd met Joe.

──

"Me and the boys are celebrating the win at the bar, would you like to join us?" Joe's voice vibrated against your ear as he spoke and pulled you closer into his arm. His body was sweating but you couldn't care any less, you were far too happy.

They'd won their third game in a row and everyone was completely elated. The energy in the air was infectious, and even though you hadn't been a part of the game, you couldn't help but feel caught up in the excitement.

"Yeah, of course." You replied, a grin playing on your lips as Joe reached down to grab your chin and pull you up for a kiss. His tall stature loomed over you, his presence both comforting and exhilarating.

As you pulled away from the kiss, you felt a rush of excitement coursing through your veins. There was something undeniably magnetic about Joe, something that drew you to him in a way you couldn't quite explain.

"There she is, that's our lucky charm!" Ja'marr's voice boomed as you both turned to face his teammate and friend. Joe chuckled as he shook his head in amusement.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the nickname but the smile on your lips didn't falter. "Lucky charm, really?"

"You mean, my lucky charm." Joe corrected as Ja'marr's put his hands up his mock defense.

"Why am I the lucky charm?" You asked as you glanced between Joe and Ja'marr.

Ja'marr smirked, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Because every time you come to one of our games, we win. Like the two back in October and now, we've won three of our games in a row. And you were at all three," he explained as Joe grinned. "Now I'm not superstitious or anything but that can't be a coincidence."

You chuckled at Ja'marr's explanation, finding it both amusing and flattering to be considered a good luck charm for the team. "Well, I'm glad I could bring some luck to the team," you replied with a smile.

At the bar, the entire team was celebrating with beers and laughter. You watched Joe admiringly as he joked with his friends, his laughter ringing out above the din of the crowded bar. There was a magnetic energy about him, a natural charisma that drew people to him like moths to a flame.

"Hey, hey, everyone! Can I have your attention for a moment?" Sam's voice boomed over the noise of the bar, commanding the attention of the entire group.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and amusement as you and some of the other WAGs exchanged looks. A hush fell over the crowd as all eyes turned to Sam, curious to see what he had to say.

He paused, taking a swig of his beer before continuing. "I just wanna say how damn lucky we are to have Joe as our quarterback. Seriously, this guy is a legend on the field, but more than that, he's a damn good friend."

A chorus of cheers and applause erupted from the crowd, echoing Sam's sentiment as you glanced at your boyfriend, who was now flushing with embarrassment and amusement at his drunken friend's words.

Sam pressed on, his words becoming more heartfelt with each passing moment. "Joe's always had our backs, on and off the field. He's the kind of guy who'll go to bat for you no matter what, who'll pick you up when you're down and cheer you on when you're up. And let me tell you, that's rare to find."

With cheers and laughter echoing through the bar, Joe's teammates surged forward, their hands reaching out to lift him high above their heads. Joe's eyes widened in surprise as he was hoisted into the air, the room spinning around him in a whirl of excitement and camaraderie.

He laughed heartily, his arms outstretched as he balanced precariously on the shoulders of his friends. The energy in the room was electric as Joe looked down at the faces of his teammates, he couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude.

They put him down as you laughed, biting your lips to suppress a smile. You turned around and ordered another drink, you felt Joe's hands snake around your waist and pull you closer to his chest.

He was sweaty and slightly tipsy, but you couldn't help but grin. Feeling Joe's arms wrap around you, you leaned back into his embrace, relishing the warmth and familiarity of his touch.

"You're having fun, aren't you?" Joe murmured into your ear, his voice soft and warm against your skin.

You nodded, unable to suppress the grin that spread across your lips. "Yeah, I am. This is... unexpectedly enjoyable."

Joe chuckled, his chest rumbling against your back. "Glad to hear it. I was a little worried you might not be into all this football stuff."

You turned in his arms, meeting his gaze with a playful glint in your eyes. "Well, I may not be the biggest football fan, but I'm definitely a fan of yours."

His smile widened at your words, a spark of affection lighting up his eyes. "I'll take that," he said, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes still closed before he opened them to meet your gaze. "Wanna go somewhere quiet?"

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'd like that."

With a soft smile, Joe took your hand in his, leading you through the crowded bar towards the exit. The noise and chaos of the bar faded into the background as you stepped outside, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth of the crowded room.

"You know," he began as he glanced back at you. "I'm grateful for you. And I should say it more, I know. But it's just hard for me to open again after the whole thing with..."

Her name died on his tongue as he shook his head, a sign escaping his lips. "The point is, you're different."

You listened, feeling a pang of empathy for the pain he must have experienced in the past. His honesty touched you, and you squeezed his hand gently, offering him silent support.

The both of you had been in serious relationships before you found each other and now, everything felt like it was in place.

"I understand," you said softly, your voice filled with empathy. "We've both been through a lot, but I truly believe that everything we've experienced has led us to this moment."

You glanced up at Joe, meeting his gaze with a smile. "And I'm grateful for every twist and turn that brought us here."

Joe's eyes softened as he returned your smile, a sense of warmth spreading between you. "Me too," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I wouldn't change a thing if it meant ending up right here, with you."

He pulled you closer to his chest, his breath warm against your forehead as he spoke softly, "You’ve changed everything for me, you know that?"

You blinked up at him, heart swelling at the sincerity in his voice. "I think it’s mutual."

There was a beat of silence, the two of you standing under the glow of streetlights, the distant hum of the city fading into the background. It was as if the world had quieted just for you two.

"You don’t have to say anything back," you started, your heart hammering against your ribs, "but I love you, Joe. And I don’t think I’ve ever meant it more."

For a moment, you felt like time had slowed, the weight of your confession hanging in the cool night air. Your heart raced, but at the same time, there was a calm that settled over you—like you were finally in the right place, with the right person.

Joe’s eyes softened, his lips parting as he studied you, like he was committing this moment to memory. Then, without a word, he leaned down, pressing a slow, tender kiss to your lips. It was gentle, but full of meaning, and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.

“I love you too,” he whispered, his voice raw and unguarded, like he was letting you see a part of him no one else did. "More than I can even say."

You smiled, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

“Who are we to fight the alchemy?” Joe said suddenly, his voice laced with a playful edge, though the truth behind his words rang deep. "Because whatever this is between us—it’s real. It’s like… everything had to happen this way, so we could find each other."

The word "alchemy" echoed in your mind, and you realized how perfectly it described what you felt. There was something magical about how your relationship had formed, like the universe had conspired to bring you both here—two people with broken pasts, finding something unbreakable together.

You reached up, brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead, your thumb lingering against his skin. "Maybe we shouldn’t fight it," you murmured, your eyes locking with his. "Maybe this is exactly where we’re supposed to be."

He grinned, that boyish, endearing smile you’d fallen for, and pulled you into him again, holding you tight like he never wanted to let go. "Yeah," he said, voice low. "I think it is."

As the night stretched on, the two of you stood there under the streetlights, wrapped up in each other, the world outside fading away. There was no need for anything more—just the two of you, the alchemy between you, and the undeniable certainty that this was something worth holding onto.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[ryozakidesu]

diary of the heartbreakers;

00z series

╰┈➤ Diary of the Heartbreakers; 00z series

➸ ♡ They used to be the ones breaking hearts, but when karma comes around, suddenly the don't know what to do. Navigate through college life with your favorite idiots, and read through the Diary of the Heartbreakers.

GENRES: College AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Humour

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, drug abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationships/characters, Heavy topics discussed, player!00z, Language and Violence.

AUTHOR's NOTE: I thought long and hard about making this a series, because of my commitment issues and I don't trust myself to commit to a writing project like this TT, But since I have story ideas for these characters, (00z) I just linked all of them together. SLOW UPDATE. Also my first time doing a series, how about that?!? I hope you guys like it!

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

╰┈➤ After You

➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

AUTHOR's NOTE: Oh, this one's heavy. Much serious than the other stories and quite one that's holds some sensitive topics. If I get some things wrong about certain topics, please do tell me and I'll quickly correct it. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 15k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Yours, Inevitably

➸ ♡ To say that Lee Jeno is pretty would be an understatement. The man's gorgeous. One thing he uses to his advantage, going through college getting girls he spots his eyes on. But there's one he just couldn't get. His brother's bestfriend. You can continue and avoid your feelings for each other, but eventually, it'll happen. You were someone that stayed, a constant in his life. You might not know it, but for the years you've known Lee Jeno, he slowly became yours, inevitably.

"I should've known that it was you, because no one else made sense."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Alcohol usage, Mentions of Drugs, fuckboy!Jeno, brothersbsf!reader

AUTHOR's NOTE: This story was collecting dust on my drafts for so longg! Originally I was gonna post it as a stand-alone but figured it made sense to be a part of this series. One of my faves. Also lots of other members of nct mentioned. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 13k - 15k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ The Fine Art of Rejection

➸ ♡ Huang Renjun, the sweetie of the year, is one hard star to catch. Not as easy as his other friends, he's quite difficult to have. Although he has a fair share of affairs with girls, it is considered to be a rare occurence. But you? Oh boy were you something. You were quite head over heels over him. His friends could never understand, but you were persistent to get the boy. No matter how much he refuses your advances, Its like you found art in rejection. But to what degree can you hold it out?

"I can be everything I want, but fuck, I only wanted to be yours. Even though you couldn't be mine."

GENRE: Unrequited love, Humour, Fluff, Angst, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, cheerleader!reader, Renjun is sometimes rude lol

AUTHOR's NOTE: Actually, I wanted to write something pure fluffy for Renjun, but I figured I need to put a sprinkle (more than that actually lmao) of angst. Also my favorite plot to write. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 13k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Illicit Affairs

➸ ♡ Infamous for being every girl's guilty pleasure, Lee Haechan strutted through his life shamelessly. But recently, the new girl caught his eye. Im Hayeon, who he believes that would finally tame his wreckless heart. He was confident he could get the girl. And when he did, he never expected her to have baggages. For example, you, Im Hayeon's best friend. Who suddenly, sparked an idea on his pretty little head. You're trouble-- and you're making Haechan commit Illicit Affairs.

"You're making me do bad things, very, bad things. But then again, I'm no stranger in being the bad guy."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, Infidelity, Haechan and reader is kind of an asshole

AUTHOR's NOTE: okay, for one, i don't condone cheating. its just for the story! also i won't tackle on it too much-- literally just for the plot. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 13k

STATUS: published

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

© ryozaki21 2023

[princessbrunette]

one thing about kook!pope, he’s a know-it-all — and if that’s not enough, he’s also nosy.

he’d developed an interest in you from seeing you around. quiet, reserved, sweet above all. when seeing you talking away to notorious fratboy, rafe cameron at a party — pope decided now was a better time than ever to break the streak of simply watching you from afar.

his voice appeared from behind you after what seemed to be a solid minute of watching you stare at rafe, waiting for him to give you some kind of attention from across the room. he doesn’t, continuing to shotgun beer and spill it obnoxiously on the floor solving all mysteries of why frat party floors were always sticky. “rafe cameron is a bad pick for you.” its said so matter-of-factly that it shocks you out of your trance, whipping round with wide eyes to look at where it came from.

pope stands there, arms crossed over his chest almost smugly, staring you down with a small smile. you knew of him, infact he always kind of fascinated you. total academic weapon, yet in with the cool crowd and his attitude definitely reflected this. he had to be so smart that he knew how to masquerade, you’d decided in fleeting thought.

“excuse me?” is all you manage and he takes a sip of his drink, slowly wandering round to stand at your side, the two of you observing the party. he swallows the bitter beverage with a squint, scratching above his top lip as he turns to you.

“rafe. you were talking to him. that guy will chew you up and spit you out, you know that right?” he speaks and you blink at him once more. you want to be offended at his audacity to comment on your choices but you’re too intrigued to step away.

“what makes you say that?”

he inhales slowly as he stares at the blonde boy — the two of you going totally unnoticed side by side like a pair of ghosts, pope playing wallflower with you just for a moment. “because he thinks it’s cool to do that. i mean, look at him. does he look respectful in the slightest? i’m only offering my two cents because i think you could do better.”

you’re confused, but flattered and your lip curls up just a tad. “yeah?” you ask unsurely. it felt nice to be seen. “how’d you figure? you don’t know me.”

“don’t i?” hes quick to respond with a smirk, like the mystery was exciting to him. “you were invited to this party, and if you haven’t already noticed i kind of know everyone. i’ve seen you in the library. you’re a hard worker. i can tell by the way you’re able to ignore everyone around you to get your head down to work that you’ll go places.” he praises, and you’re hooked, staring up at him for more. he turns his body to rafe, gesturing out to him with an arm. “rafe? not so much. he’s flunking every class, rumour has it he’s close to dropping out, daddy issues, coke problem, doesn’t tip waiters and he doesn’t go down on girls.”

the last sentence shocks you, but what shocks you more is the speed at which “do you?” flies out your mouth before you can stop it. your eyes widen, and he looks at you and chuckles — but not in a mean way. “wouldn’t you like to know?” he beats around the answer as he finally turns his fully body to you.

“pope heyward. am i making any sense at all with this whole warning thing?” he holds a hand out for you to shake and you smile. it’s been a long time since someone’s offered you a handshake, and from his slightly dorkish cadence this was the final nail in the coffin to prove your own theory in that he had to be the biggest nerd in high school.

“yes.” you nod jerkily as you grasp his hand and shake it before telling him your own name.

“nice, i like that.” he compliments before a group of guys begin to call his name, hollering something about beer pong. he laughs, before turning his attention back to you. “think about what i said. don’t go with an asshole like him, trust me it’s bad news. you’re way better than that. anyway, it was nice to meet you.” you don’t realise he’s still grasping your hand until he brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a parting kiss there— hand lingering on yours for a moment and letting go, taking a step past you to greet his friends.

as he leaves, he turns back to you — now standing at your other side. “oh, and to answer your question — yes. i do go down on girls. i think men who don’t should be castrated.” he speaks so simply, before just like that he’s disappeared into a sea of bro’s, a fresh drink thrusted into his palm.

rafe was staring over the crowd to check on you now, to see if you were still fawning over him. however, your eyes were on someone else now — still watching the back of popes head as the smile lingered on your face, fingertips ghosting over your knuckles where he kissed you.

[bellatrixnightshade]

RAFAL in Relation to Other People

Warning: I won't be woobifying Rafal here or really putting him as a victim, so this may offend or bother people who stan him and forgive all his faults. Additionally, this has some toxic stuff here so if that is a trigger then I recommend not going through with it. And if you will go as far as to AGREE with it just because "my blorbo could have possibly said it", then I'm afraid you are missing my point and would rather have you click off.

So we already know how Rafal is as a brother, but how could he act in different familial relationships, like being a lover/spouse or a father?

As a lover/spouse: I'm sorry, but whether Rafal means to or not, he would easily be that toxic person in your life. He always is right (and you are wrong), and he appears to be the type to disregard one's feelings. If he hurts someone, he hardly ever apologizes, but you have to apologize to him. The closest he'll come to is a bullshit excuse. ("It wasn't my intention.") He makes you question yourself and the validity of your opinions, because, again, he is right. You can never get through to him or call him out, because at the end of the day, you are the problem, you are inferior, you have a childish mind, you are too sensitive. He slowly picks away at your self esteem, which was already low when you met him in the first place. (People drawn to him tend to have confidence issues??)

You don't leave him maybe because he doesn't have bad intentions, because he instilled in you codependence and now you don't know what to do without him, or maybe Rafal somewhat regretted hurting you, so you accept that. And ultimately, you trusted him, you believed in him, so, stupid you has to face the consequences. Everything that happened is your fault because you should have seen Rafal wasn't a good person!

Rafal just seems wayy too sheltering and overprotective and he'd take away his lover's ability to make most of their own choices or have their own lives-- slowly but surely, and perhaps, unintentionally.

Not to mention, he is possessive af! Red flag right there.

I hope that any lover of Rafal leaves him and they see their own worth, instead of running back to him. Because to be honest, he seems like a hypocritical, arrogant, and insufferable jerk. (most of the time) Either that or Rafal gets his act together and has some self reflection. He isn't a vampire for crying out loud!

As a father: oh. The father who is very, very, VERY overprotective and sheltering. A helicopter parent, even. He makes you think sometimes, "why do I have this curse of a father??" and sometimes you wish something could happen like a virus doing its job and you are "free." (Please don't actually wish this on your difficult parents unless they are really shitty!) Rafal embarasses his kids but being rather ultrastrict and old-fashioned and they probably don't know much of the world because of him. Everything has to be "educational" (which isn't a bad thing in itself but for the love of whatever please don't overdo it and make it corny) so no video games, etc. Also if Rafal reads an article with research on how veggies can give cancer, your salads will be taken away!

Rafal will also go like, "I'm your only friend. You don't need friends because you have me," and he may break up some friendships you have. Oh also: no boys.

I feel like Rafal fits dad energy more, though even there he would be WAY too much. (Go away Rafal! Go adopt orphans and make their lives miserable instead of bothering other people.) But who knows? Maybe as the years go on he would cool down, or back off when they become adults. Unless they form a codependent relationship with him and he has to be the center of their lives, which is very possible. Let's watch Rafal slowly destroy a home because he's in the way! And of course, instead of giving his children's household space, he defends himself and puts himself in the right. His kids may call Rafal every day in a modern context and totally neglect their family. Or the family is going out? Rafal has to be there too, and his kid says nothing.

If Rafal comes home from work in a bad mood, I'm sure his kids try to run off because if they don't he will find something to criticize and they will get hour long lectures. I also feel like he'd lecture on other occasions and then get mad when his family doesn't care and they want to get back to what THEY have to do??

[chiffon-and-spice]

RE HC's: Attachment Style, Love Languages

(Keep in mind these are literally all HC's and if you disagree, it's not cannon so don't get your dick in a twist. This is literally just how I see the characters. Most are bisexual because… it just feels fitting to me. Idk. If you don't see a character here that you'd like me to do, please let me know.)

Characters in this Post: Rebecca Chambers, Billy Coen, Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Leon Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, and Carlos Oliveira. (if you'd like a character not mentioned here done, feel free to ask <3)

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Rebecca Chambers-

Sexuality: Bi/Demi-sexual

Zodiac: Virgo

Love Language: Becca definitely expresses her love through acts of service. She may not be all that great at expressing herself through words, and being busy with work allows her little time to be close to you in person. She will do little things like fold your clothes if they're still in the dryer, make your bed, do those chores you aren't looking forward to, and so much more. She loves the idea of helping make your life a little more easier. When it comes to being shown love however, Rebecca loves words of affirmation. She thrives best when you give her hella love and reassurance. Not being good with words, she admires how freely you can talk about your feelings for her. It literally lights up her soul.

Attachment Style: Despite a lot of the struggles Rebecca has been through, she's pretty secure in herself and the relationships she gets in. Even though she struggles with her words, she's super effective at communicating her feelings when it comes to issues. Rebecca is also really good at self-reflection and will work on herself in all the places she falters, to ensure you two have the most healthy dynamic. She's super trusting of you, and does not hesitate to give out reassurance if you ask.

Billy Coen-

Sexuality: Bisexual

Zodiac: Taurus

Love Language: Billy expresses his love through physical touch. Whether it be through gentle caresses or playful pokes and punches, he lovesss touching you in any way. He can't seem to keep his hands off of you. You go out, he will kick you playfully under the table, and in the morning he's the one to cling to you and not want you to get out of bed. Morning sex is a given with him. He loves to make you feel good, and he feels best when he's touching you. When it comes to being shown love, Billy is a big fan of quality time. He doesn't care what it is you're doing, he wants to be close. You have to go to the grocery store to do some mundane task, nothing makes him more excited than you inviting him to go. He especially loves when you take time off of work or other things to be with him. Knowing you took time out of your day and your life to make room for him makes his day.

Attachment Style: Billy hasn't had the best of luck in the relationship department, especially with his past, and it makes him weary of who to trust. He's got an anxious attachment style, and while he craves love he's also terrified it isn't genuine. Billy can be super clingy at points, and sometimes struggles when you don't seem to have time for him. He needs constant reassurance, that you're for him and only him. He realizes this about himself, and always makes sure to tell you before you start dating. When given reassurance, he is the happiest boy, and he will never tire of you showing him just how much you love him.

Albert Wesker-

Sexuality: Pansexual (this is actually not a stretch as his VA played him as a queer man Link

Zodiac: Aries

Love Language: Albert expresses his love through giving gifts. Bro is not good with words and not a fan of being touched. But if he's sees something that reminds him of you, he will absolutely get it. He will shower you in gifts. You mention needing a new set of pens to take notes, he's already half-way to the store, buying the specific ball-point or gel pens you require. Working late, he's stopping by your workplace with food from your favorite place. Have a favorite show or little obession, he will buy anything for you that relates to said thing. When it comes to being given love, Albert loves acts of service. When you do things for him, it makes his life a lot easier. Especially if it's something he's not looking forward to. Nothing impresses him more than you doing something for him, when he didn't even have to ask for it.

Attachment Style: Albert 1,000% has disorganized attachment. One minute you think he's absolutely into you, and the next he is running for the hills. He's terrified of rejection, but also craves acceptance. Albert sometimes completely shuts down and doesn't talk to you about his concerns with the relationship. A lot of the time, even he doesn't know why he's being distant. It doesn't seem to matter how good you treat him, he always has anxiety about your relationship, but if you're super patient with him he can be the most tender and loving soul you can have. Often the relationship may be confusing, and Albert doesn't really talk about his feelings. Sometimes, he can even be a little aggressive and lash out, but he always apologizes and begs for you to stay.

Chris Redfield-

Sexuality: Bisexual/Demiromantic (takes bro a lot to be romantically into you)

Zodiac: Scorpio

Love Language: Chris expresses his love through acts of service, man struggles with words like Wesker and physical touch can be too much for him sometimes. But occupying himself with things to do that'll make you happy is how he loves showing you his love. He can get physical every once in awhile, but he kinda does that with a lot of people, so it isn't exactly how he expresses his love. Doing things for you also allows him to express his love for you in a way that makes him feel comfortable. Like your coffee a certain way? Chris is working his ass off to make sure you get it. When it comes to being shown love Chris surprisingly likes words of affirmation. He can't speak for himself, so when you talk about how you feel it makes him weak. He wants more than anything to be able to speak the way you do, and that's why he appreciates when you do it so well. Using your words sometimes can be a bit much for him, and makes him want to pull away, but in the long run he does find comfort in them.

Attachment Style: Chris has an avoidant attachment style. He feels like he has to go through everything on his own, and if he isn't strong enough to do it by himself then it makes him feel weak. He can seem extremely emotionally closed off at points, which makes it difficult to communicate effectively with him. He has a bit of a negative mentality, that relationships aren't necessary and he does best on his own. Good luck getting him to talk about his feelings, because this man is closed up tighter than a shell. Most of his relationships have been in the casual/one-night stand area. Chris is the first to walk off during an argument, and can definitely hold a grudge. Being patient with him is pretty rewarding however, as he apologizes after awhile. This is very hard for him, but when he cares about you, he will try to better himself.

Jill Valentine-

Sexuality: Bi/Greysexual

Zodiac: Libra

Love Language: When it comes to expressing her love, Jill loves spending time with you. She will take breaks from work, and when she works from home she will seek you out in the house. Even if it's sitting in silence, she wants to be by your side. She's very dedicated to her job, so she can't think of a better way to show you how much she cares than to distance herself from work. She loves physical touch, and nothing makes her feel more appreciated than when you touch her. Especially on the thighs or arms. It drives her wild. Underneath that badass exterior, she's a cuddly bunny. When walking around in public, and you throw your arm around her shoulders, she never feels more loved and secure. Even if she knows she can take care of herself, having you around makes her feel secure and comfortable.

Attachment Style: Despite being a bit obsessive with Umbrella, Jill has a bit more of a secure attachment style. The most issues you may have is maybe not getting her full attention at times, but she will quickly rectify it if you point it out. She's effective at communicating her wants and needs and really appreciates when her partner does the same thing. Like Rebecca, she is also kind of patient, but she won't tolerate certain behavior past a point. If she's making a big effort, she expects you to do the same. She's super understanding of your traumas and past however, and will do her best to help you. She also encourages you not to be codependent and overall just wants you both to grow as people.

Leon Kennedy-

Sexuality: Bisexual (bro fucks a ton after RE2)

Zodiac: Leo

Love Language: Leon expresses his love through physical touch. Bro is so touch starved, he gets his cuddles in any time he can. Practically clinging to you like a koala. He loves running his hands through your hair and being big spoon to you. He covers you in kisses to, if the skin is exposed, he's going for it. Big fan of hickeys to, and loves marking you in easy to see spots. He also loves recieving love this way. When you hold his hand in public, he still gets little butterflies. Pressing yourself a little more into him, when you guys are sleeping, is the hottest thing you can do for him. Practically melts from it. He loves rougher touches to. Like you running your nails down his back or biting his lips when you kiss.

Attachment Style: Leon has an anxious attachment style, and is terrified of getting close to people. Like most of the RE men it seems. 😭 Probably cause he's seen so much death. When he does start getting close, he struggles to let go. He can be suffocating at points, with how much he wants to be around you. He wants to take every second in, because he's so paranoid about it being your last together. While Leon doesn't communicate his feelings verbally, you can easily read when things are off and after a bit of work he may reluctantly open a little. He's very hard to crack. Leon is very efficient at asking about your feelings however, and will gladly hear all of your problems. Somehow, despite not knowing how to fix his only problems, he always seems to have solutions for yours.

Claire Redfield-

Sexuality: Lesbian (cry about it)

Zodiac: Aquarius

Love Language: Claire is surprisingly great with words, and loves to show it. She expresses how she loves you through words of affirmation. She will tell you she loves you every single day, and she means it with all her heart. Claire is the type of partner to send you loving paragraphs before bed, and makes sure you get a goodmorning text every morning. She leaves sticky notes everywhere to when she thinks about it, with little things she loves about you. When it comes to being shown love however, Claire really enjoys quality time. Expressing that you want to actually spend time with her whenever you can means the world to her. Growing up with Chris, who's been very busy since she was a kid, she's always valued the little time she gets to spend with her loved ones.

Attachment Style: Claire learned a lot from Chris, which made her have the exact opposite attachment style as him. Being practically raised by him and having a good relationship with him, she's pretty secure in her attachments. Even when things get rough, she's always understanding and holds out hope. Claire has always been good at being self-sufficient, so she doesn't need to be around you 24/7 or hear from you constantly. Doubts don't really get a hold of her in your relationship, and she's super easy to connect and be vulnerable with. She'll even talk about her own personal experiences just to make you feel more comfortable.

Ada Wong-

Sexuality: Bisexual

Zodiac: Gemini

Love Language: Ada never explicitly states what or how she's feeling, she's very much a woman of action. This is why she expresses her love through physical touch. Though she's not entirely clingy with it. If you're around, it could be as simple as her feet across your lap, while you watch tv. When it comes to physical touch for her, it's not the soft little gently caresses you're used to. She likes to be rough, and she will not hesitate to pounce on you. When it comes to being shown love, Ada enjoys receiving gifts. Not being given things too frequently, it means the world to her when her partners comes to her with something they bought specifically because it reminded them of her. Hell, even if it's not something she quite understands or likes, she will try to play it cool while freaking out on the inside. Despite Ada's distant exterior, she's definitely an absolute softie.

Attachment Style: Girl has got disorganized attachment style, one hundo percent. She's hot and cold with anyone she's with, and you always second guess just how she feels about you. You convince yourself that it's part of the fun, and the second you start to distance yourself as well, she's showing right back up. Ada feels undeserving of a healthy relationship, so when she gets a good thing her first instinct is to flee. Being that she isn't entirely true to herself and is always putting up a mask, it's hard for her to make genuine connections. Ada is sick of the mask however, and is so desperately ready to let it drop and be loved. Once you have her, even if it feels like you don't, you're stuck with her. She will harass you for the rest of your life, and play it off as anything but an interest in you.

Carlos Oliveira-

Sexuality: Bisexual (he came out to me in character ai, so practically cannon)

Zodiac: Saggittarius

Love Language: Carlos loves spending time with his partner. When it comes to his work, he doesn't get a lot of free time, so the best way he expresses his love by using what little he does have with you. Hell, he'd take time off just to be with you. Despite being a massive flirt, when things get serious he isn't the best at expressing himself in a way that isn't lighthearted or teasing. So instead he shows it, by dropping everything just to be around you, if you so please. During his breaks, he stops by your workplace whether it be to give you a little kiss or something more. He checks up on you with facetime calls frequently, when he's away and can't stand when work pulls him away from you. When it comes to being shown love however, Carlos very much likes things to be physical. Anyone can say words, he knows this more than anyone being the huge flirty whore (affectionately) he is, but to actually act on these things sends his heart soaring. And not just sex, though Carlos is very fond of that aspect to, he's more into the careful and intimate touches. Being hugged from behind, soft kisses along his neck, you playing with his hair, he practically folds over it.

Attachment Style: Weirdly enough, Carlos is pretty secure in his attachments, though I think he's cautious about entering a committed relationship with someone. He doesn't just feel that kind of love with anyone, and when things do go beyond flirting and hook ups, you know you've got something special with him. Carlos might not be the best with words, but he's an amazing listener and will gladly listen to whatever possible issues that may arise between you two. Even if he struggles with how to put things into words, he tries his best to open up with you as well. Carlos's work has always kept him pretty occupied, so he's never really felt too wound up about being away from his partner or having to put some healthy distance between you to. If you can work with his pretty hectic schedule, he will gladly work with you. Carlos is also a super gentle lover when no one is looking. All his rough talk and flirts are definitely for show, and the second you start getting a little bit serious with him, he gets flustered.

[nyoomerr]

any tips for writing bingmei pov?

oh jeez, i'm not sure i'm actually all that qualified to answer this question 😅💦

bingmei is... very difficult for me to write personally, so please take all this advice with a grain of salt. a large grain of salt. perhaps keep the entire salt shaker handy while you consider this advice, in fact. that being said, these are some things that i personally try to keep in mind when considering his character:

even as a disciple, he's not actually a pure white lotus - he still spent some long, formative years experiencing misfortune and bullying. from sqq's pov this is less visible, but from bingmei's pov this reflects on his thought process a lot. he isn't going to be blindly trustful, and his predisposition to be a bit of a schemer/borderline manipulative is still there, even if his goals are different. it's just the difference between pre-abyss manipulating the disciple roster so that he's the one always available to help out sqq VS post-abyss manipulating huan hua into being his biggest supporter.

in the abyss and up until sqq's self destruction, lbh's motivations are very much along the lines of "i can fix this, so long as i have the chance to, everything can go back to how it was before." if he can just prove himself to be a righteous cultivator by making a name for himself with huan hua, then sqq will no longer have an issue with lbh's heritage. if he can just get sqq to sit still and have one solid conversation with him, then surely sqq will understand lbh the way he used to. the more things go wrong and prove that it isn't so easy to go back to the way things used to be, the more frustrated lbh is, and the more willing he is to take drastic measures (going from slowly building a reputation for himself at huan hua to allowing sqq to be locked up in a horrible prison, for example).

personally, i attribute a lot of lbh's willingness to hurt sqq to xin mo. he's willing to take more drastic measures on his own, and some things that sqq considers 'harmful' are things lbh doesn't necessarily think of as actually hurting him - for example, forcing sqq to consume his blood parasites - but lbh is truly taken off guard when something he does results in sqq being harmed in a meaningful way. that being said, because lbh does still act on those things, i think it means one of two things: either lbh interprets xin mo's influences as his own impulses, or xin mo erodes his own ability to understand consequences. either of these can make for interesting narratives, so i go with "whatever works for the specific au i'm working on," usually.

dfjgh that was a lot of rambling lmao. i wish i had more solid tips, but for as long i personally am unsure how best to write bingmei, all i can offer are the things i try to keep in mind when characterizing him 😅

also, a final tip that is purely selfish and maybe not a hundddreeeeddd percent canon driven and instead motivated by my desires to see more bingwife in the world: #1 tip is to wife that boy up / have him pursue being shizun's pretty little wife 😌😌😌

[mothgodofchaos]

Stupid

Wrote this on a whim, had an idea and had to get it out.

Darkiplier x GN!Reader, TW: none Words: 1130

You were stranded out in the rain by your date with no way of getting home, and against your better judgment, you called Dark. Shame burned inside you, not wanting to admit that you were relying on an ex-partner after failing to get a new one. But you had no other way of getting home, and the streets were far too dark and slick for you to even consider walking. You texted him the address after he hung up, going back into the restaurant as the winds continued to storm, threatening to soak you to the bone with chill rain. The poor host boy ran to get you a warm drink as you waited in their lobby, seeing you shiver. It was incredibly sweet, and you passed him what little cash you had on you for the gesture. 

Dark pulls up in front of the restaurant, and you sprint out to his car, clutching the to-go cup close to you under your coat as you clamber into the passenger seat. At the sight of you, he turns up the heat and puts on the seat warmer, incredibly concerned.

“What on earth happened?”

“He walked out on me… said he was going to the bathroom. Was I, stupid for believing him? We had only just ordered, but I knew he wasn’t coming back when they only brought out my food. And I stupidly agreed to let him drive me here.”

“No, I would not say that was “stupid” of you. Sounds like the issue was him, not you. The drive over here and ordering food is not nearly enough time for someone to make that drastic of a decision. At least he should have had the decency to tell you to find an alternative way home…”

Dark grips the steering wheel a bit tighter as he speaks, trying to both calm you down and keep his eyes on the road. The street lights reflect off large puddles on the asphalt, splashing onto the sidewalk as your tires cut through them.

“I’m sorry I called you, I’m sure you were busy.”

“Not at all, you know how I enjoy spending my evenings. Simply a few chapters into a book and about halfway through a cup of tea when you called. Something I can very easily pick back up. And I am sure you know, if I had found out you had to walk home in this weather, your inconsiderate date would have perhaps lost a few fingers, or limbs…”

It makes you laugh a little bit, the shaking from the cold finally settling. You pick up your drink, making careful two-handed sips as you don’t quite trust your grip strength after the cold made your finger joints a tad useless. The heat is turned down, making it easier to hear the rain outside and the tires against the road. Watching water droplets race down the window like when you were little. Dark glances over at you when you go quiet, his gaze softening when he sees you smile again.

“What happened to us?”

Your question cuts the silence, startling Dark a little. He waits, working through his thoughts to form a coherent response.

“We were younger, we wanted different things. No one was at fault, and I think that made it hurt more…”

“I don’t think we want different things anymore, Dames.”

His breath hitches, having not heard you call him that since your amicable break up.

“Are you done having your adventures out there? Are you really sure I am exciting enough for you?”

“You were always exciting enough for me. I was hoping you’d come with me.”

“...I am truly sorry I could not.”

The silence surrounds the two of you again, Dark adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as he focuses on the road again. You take the hint and go back to watching out the windows, the conversation not going quite as you had hoped. Maybe it was your broken heart trying to fill the void of tonight’s wound, maybe you were saying the things you wanted to for a long time. He pulls into your driveway, parking the car and taking out the keys.

“I will walk you to the door, I refuse to have you standing out in the rain, locked out.”

“Thank you, Dark.”

His larger frame blocks your back from the rain, despite the fact he’s not wearing a coat. The simple white button-down soaks in the water easily, plastering the wet fabric against his body. His tie is loosened, but clearly he never quite got undressed from his day out before heading to get you. It takes a bit of working, but your key unlocks your door and you push inside. You enter, shrugging off your coat as you turn back to Dark, him smiling softly at you.

“Would you like to come in?”

“No, I should not. But thank you, darling.”

He turns to walk back to his car, but you grab his hand. Dark turns back to you, confused.

“Something wrong?”

“Can we try again? Even if it’s just one time?”

His jaw clenches, and you can see the conflicting emotions behind his eyes. Water drips down his hair and down his face, closing his eyes as he lets out a long sigh.

“I should not. But I want to. You have always been my greatest temptation.”

“Why don’t we then?”

Dark looks away, a lone tear mixing with the raindrops on his cheeks.

“I am afraid you will leave me behind again… that I cannot be the man you want me to be. I am older now, I use a cane, my habits are those of an old man. I know this. And I do not want you to realize this a bit too late, and break my heart again…”

“I was stupid to leave you behind before. And I’m not just saying that. Leaving you here has been my biggest regret. I promise you that.”

Dark looks between your eyes, searching your mind and seeing you’re telling the truth. You know he doesn’t like to intrude, but you don’t blame his disbelief.

“Please, let me know if you get bored of me…”

“I will never get bored of you.”

You grab his tie, tugging him down into a kiss. He’s surprised for a moment at your bold move, but matches your energy as he cups your face. The two of you stand out in the rain on your front porch, soaked to the bone but you could not be happier with each other. When you part, you tug him inside, promising another book and more tea as your clothes dry together. And you’d never have gotten him back if that asshole had never left you at that restaurant. 

[rosakuma]

Feelings on FOPANW S1 Finale

Okay so the finale dropped…….that sure was a finale….Alright, let’s discuss this in full detail. Spoilers for Fairly Oddparents A New Wish finale, DO NOT READ BELOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT OR CAUGHT UP YET!

Okay so this finale is a big mixture for me for a few reasons, to which I’ll explain in detail of listing out the good and bad, before then listing out personal thoughts and what I think they’ll do for S2(if we get one, to which Y’ALL WE GOTTA LOCK IN AND REWATCH THIS SERIES IN NOVEMBER ON NETFLIX OKAY??)

The good~✨:

▪️I absolutely love that they brought back most of the new characters Hazel’s befriend and seen throughout the season come back to help Hazel in taking back fairy world. ▪️ANTI-COSMO AND ANTI-WANDA ARE BACK! It was definitely a short time, but I’m just glad they reappeared and them with Cosmo and Wanda was so funny. I love them exposing their weaknesses like Cosmo being afraid of big words or Wanda not standing seeing someone read a book upside down. ▪️THANK GOD DEV WASN’T TURN EVIL! The boy definitely mess up, but I am happy he listened to Wanda and help out in the end despite the consequences of it. It shows that despite Dev doing all of this to impress his dad, he realizes that his dad not going to change and that he’ll just overlook Dev for other people or things. Plus it nice to see that he didn’t want any the fairies lock up or to blow up, he just wanted to get back at Cosmo, Wanda, and Peri(speaking of him). This definitely marks a great start to his redemption arc that I feel next season will go into more.

▪️You don’t know how much it means to me seeing Peri fricken dying and yet, he’s still worrying about Dev. The fact he still cares about him and just only was strict on the rules because he wanted to do right by Dev..MY HEART AGHHH! THAT’S HIS DAD RIGHT THERE, HIS REAL DAD! I swear they better reunite. Le bad~⚡️:

▪️Dev losing both Peri and his memory of fairies….WHY!? I get punishing him to teach him what he did was wrong, but he recognizes it and also, HE’S NOT GOING TO IF HE DOESN’T REMEMBER WHAT HE DID WRONG! Not to mention that Dev still needs Peri, he still needs a fairygod parent because he’s stuck with a neglectful dad who thinks boots are better than his own kid and doesn’t know how to make friends with him having trust issues! Plus Peri still cares for Dev and I doubt he wanted to give him up! THATS HIS FIRST GODKID, GIVE HIM BACK HIS SON 😭 ▪️The point above gets worse when Hazel could’ve prevented that from happening by including Dev in her wish for her friends to keep their memories of her fairies and magic OR that Dev keeps Peri(which is a two for one sale as he gets both his fairy and memory). I understand Hazel is probably still upset at Dev and does think that he needs to learn a lesson, but she clearly still cares about him. Enough for her to look sad at the end when he gets poofs away and to thank him for doing the right thing. Not to mention now Dev’s growth at the end for realizing he did wrong will disappear and he can’t reflect on himself now to grow from it. ▪️Speaking of memories. So Hazel decided to let Winn, Jasmine, and her brother Anthony keep their memories of all of this. I won’t lie, I am conflicted on this as while I don’t mind too much of Winn and Jasmine to know about her secret as that allows them to join more adventures and develop from there with Hazel now that they know! But…why Anthony? I can understand Hazel wanting to share her cool fairies with him, but girl you got those fairies in the first place BECAUSE he’s away at college. Even if Anthony currently visiting right now and she can have fun with him, he’s still going back to college sweetie. Heck Anthony might not worry too much of needing to visit a lot because now he knows his sister being taken care of by Cosmo and Wanda(which is good thing, but to Hazel, she might be upset to think Anthony will spend less time with her now that she has fairies to fill his role).

Alright, I definitely got that out of my system. Ultimately despite these problems I have with this finale, I still enjoyed it and this season entirely. And I feel like the writers with what they did with Dev wasn’t to be mean spirited of taking away Peri and his memory. I believe they wanted to show Dev starting to reflect on what he has done and grow with realizing his mess up, which is why he even admits that he does deserve this and Hazel agrees. And despite Hazel not including him in the wish or wishing for him to keep Peri, she does still care about him. She’s glad he did the right thing in the end and she does look sad when Dev gets poofed away after being memory wiped. And honestly….this might be good for both of them in terms of being able to rekindle their friendship. Now that Dev won’t remember the the arguments that happen when he had a fairy, it means that his jealousy toward Hazel having Wanda and Cosmo and knowing that Hazel wished to be friends with him(to which he took personally because it seemed like their friendship was based off of just wanting to get something out of him he feels and it’s fake). The only problem is thanks to the memory wipe, we don’t know exactly how much Dev remembers. Does he only remember his fight with Hazel at Founders Day or their fight during his birthday? If the former, then did he forget Hazel being at his birthday? And if not and it’s the latter, then does Dev still remember project H but without the knowledge of Hazel’s fairies? Is he still upset at her for his father paying attention to her? Does he think they’re still friends??? Really the problem is since we’re in the dark of whether we’re getting a season two and we don’t know these details, we’re stuck unsatisfied since there’s clearly more to explore and explain here. But all we can do for now is just wait and watch the show again on Netflix when it drops while spreading word of the series. We can do this and get that season two for everyone! Seriously Netflix you better listen to Peri and greenlit season two.

[arkhamjack]

Thank you everyone for the reblogs on my "how some of the fandom sees wolfwood vs how I see him" lol I wanted to continue the conversation bc I am very annoying about this stuff and it grosses me out bc I am sensitive or whatever but um yeah 🤓

It's pretty long so TL;DR stop being weird about Wolfwood thanks 👍

I'll talking about objectification, hypersexualisation, and prejudice so a warning I guess --->

The Gaze has been working overtime on Wolfwood's ass (and tits) and it's making me a little nuts. This is not to say his character cannot be presented in a sexy way, or that he cannot perform sexuality without being problematic, it's just... ask yourself: why.

It can be subconscious, you might not even notice it, but media tropes have a way of worming into people's brains to be regurgitated into fan art, especially if the character presents or is coded marginalised in a way you are not. (I do it too!)

It starts from young. I had an adult call me a "hot head Latina" as a child LMAO (I am not even Latin)

Characters and actors that looked like me were worked into typically these roles - If feminine, desired, sexy but crazy, dangerous. If masculine, similarly sexual, either hot or ugly, suspicious.

I feel silly and attention-seeking for speaking up about this kind of stuff, especially as I feel I'm not in a place to cry 'racism' specifically because I'm more 'ethnic' than POC.

I'm a Balkan mongrel - Greek, bits from Turkey, Albania, and fuck knows what else. I've always kept my head down about people being weird to me but it comes to a point like the point of a classmate comparing my hair to an animal's, where I feel I gotta go "ok yeah lets unpack that."

Now about Wolfwood, he's our classic racially/ethnically ambiguous smoky sexy guy. Particularly in the 98 anime, he's pretty bosomy. He's a struggler - swindling Gunsmoke with his charm and portable confessional. This swindler trope, I've observed, tends to go hand in hand with 'suspicious immigrant out for your money'. Again, maybe I've pulled that out my ass and I'm being oversensitive, but I notice things. Tastes left in my mouth. Anyway. Brings to mind the time some other classmate jokingly called me a 'hustler' for *checks notes* making sure my work is submitted on time.??

Now on the subject of NSFW fanart... oh boy I am so uncomfy writing this... I rarely see him depicted.. receiving. You can place the issues here pretty easily. Give him a break. Please. Also I did note this on my original post and also completely my own opinion but PLEASE that man is not bigger than Vash, and I don't mean like not taller, like, thiccer. Calm the fuck down.

I hate having to write this bc it makes me uncomfy and reflects my own experiences of objectification by other people which sounds all very "oh noo its sooo hard being attractive :'((" but I trust y'all smart enough to see where I'm coming from.

The gaze. Othering. Marginalised masculinity (not to mention my intersecting trans identity thats a whole other unrelated convo). Hypersexualisation. Objectification.

But back to Wolfwood!! - are these tropes perpetuated by the original creator? Personally, I don't think so. (Wolfwood's design is based off a Japanese guy btw - musician Tortoise Matsumoto) The 98 anime? Maybe?? Am I reading too much into it? It's hard not to - naturally I'll latch onto the ambiguous guy and go "alright let's see how they do this" so naturally certain things stand out to me.

But when some of that fanart starts rolling out ... Jesus Christ ... MY EYES

On the flipside, I've seen great fanart out there! And I've seen quite a few Latino headcanons for Wolfwood too!(like I mentioned before I am not Latin, I am also not American in general I am a filthy freak Australian with our own colonial racist histories and intricacies) (There is also Latin diaspora here but I don't wanna speak for anyone aaaah)

I'd like to think most of the fandom is cool about him. But um. Yeah.

I said what I said but if I did say anything out of line I am so sorry and PLEASE let me know - I am using my own experiences as reference and acknowledge the intricacies my own privilege

Yap session over 👍

[robbierants]

Black Butler Rant: Alois Trancy, hate, Mental illness, and Gender roles? Spoilers for season two of the show

IM NOT HATING ON ANY OF THE CHARCTHERS

Ive done a rant on Alois b4 but idc

Alois trancy seems to be hated for various reasons, i’ve heard fans talk about what an awful character he is. He’s a whore, he’s selfish, abusive, evil ect. The curious thing is all the Black Butler Characters are immoral, only about two or three aren’t. And Alois isn’t the cruelst, or most hard hearted of any of the characters shown on Black Butler. Madam Red is Jack the Ripper, The Count Druit selling people on the black market, and Agni was a criminal who slaughtered people just becuse he had class issues. Now maybe these characters aren’t that popular, but i know of three very amoral characters who are loved by the fans who can’t stand Alois.

My one and only Love, Grell is a comedic phycopath, who murdered Madam Red, her lover, for refuseing to kill Ciel. But humor aside lets take a look at her personality, She is completly selfish, vain and takes stalking and ignoreing consent to a whole new level. Will sleep with anything that moves demon dogs included, Remember she was ready to help Ciel, becuse he promised to let her do what she wanted to Sebastian. The guy who hates and is repulsed by her. She even says dispite her feelings for Sebastion she’d hack him up and is completly serious when she says it. Grell has never showed remorse regret or compassion for anyone or anything, she has no redeeming qualities, but people still love her (including me)

2) Sebastian- Lets ignore how hot he is, although fan girls and gays do realize he’s a mutilated crow right? Another Amoral character! he is a demon who is preying on a child, seasoning his soul so he can simply have a good meal. Sebastian smirks at Ciel’s suffering and pain constantly. Manipulates and lies when it suits him and enjoys squishing humans who have no chance aginst him like bugs. In season two he violated Ciel’s trust lied to him, and once Ciel was a demon and had no soul Sebastion killed him. Proving the only warm feelings Sebastian has are toward kitties.

Lastly Ciel himself! he’s saddistic, cold, cruel and willing to sacrifice whats left of his family and freinds for revenge to avenge his pride. He has already killed two people and ordered the deaths of many more. Shows no remorse and will let his Demon be abused to suit his purposes or will pimp him out.

All these characters have personality traits Alois has been accused of or warped into by fanfiction. He does in fact share these same traits with other characters so why are they loved for them, while he’s hated? I think it has to do with gender roles and the idea of people being unable to accept, what they do not percieve as normal behavior. People hate what they don’t understand.

It all starts with media, years of watching boys and men in fiction shug off every trauma and abuse, and remain unaffected by it has made viewers forget. In real life Boys who go through half the things they go through in movies, books, and television would end up completly messed up.

Media and society stresses this idea of manly strength boys, don’t get hurt, boys don’t cry! boys can take anything! Any boy who can’t is weak.

Hence, complete contempt for Alois Trancy’s character, who gets hysterical when the lights go off and cries a lot and gets scared.

He’s very emotional, needy and immature in contrast the Ciel, who’s cold detachment, apparent machurity and calm disposition reflects the manly ideal. Ciel goes around ordering Sebastion to kill people and in fiction male characters are judged by their willingness to weild power.

Alois has power but would rather have Claude as an freind then a slave. Plus Alois likes blue bells, wears frilly nightgowns, dresses up as a girl and likes soft girly colors like pink and purple and his disreguard for gender roles and implied sexuality is bound to make anyone who’s homophobic or insercure uncomfortable. He dosen’t care about dignity, money or power like Ciel, he instead wants comfort, safety and love.

Alois is mentally ill so his behaviors and mood swings scare people, and make them feel uncomfortable, much like how people react when confronted with real mental illness. Its easier to judge then to understand.

When people see someone like Alois they feel resentful and feel the need to put them in their place.

They scream "Stop acting like that!” But thats why I love Alois. Throughout the show he was told by everyone, that he was filthy and worthless, crazy and weak, that his emotions were wrong, hell even his demon Butler Claude told him, he was unworthy becuse he loved him.

Everyone around him perfers the cold detached almost inhumane Ciel Phantomhive. Only Hannah Annafellows accepts and loves Alois for who he is, faults and all. She helps Alois triumph in the end and in the end its he who controls the fates of the oh so perfect Ciel, and both demons.

In the end he wins the game becuse he embraces his emotions and turns them into a strength beating the more manly, cold, detached, and more popular characters. Claude is also really detatched cold and calculateing and Sebastian simply uses emotion to manipulate people, underneath the mask he’s also pretty chilly.

This makes some fans angry becuse Alois character not only challanges social and gender roles with his behavior but succeeds even when it seems he’d been crushed like a bug. Grell is aloud to have the same behaviors as Alois and viewers are fine with it, becuse Grell is a trans women.

Women are suposed to be passionate and emotional according the the sterotype.

Or maybe i’m over thinking it and fans just hate Alois becuse he’s going against Ciel and they like Ciel and he put Sebastian out by makeing him unable to eat Ciel’s soul. And maybe people just love Grell because of her big chain saw. I don’t know for sure those were just my thoughts on the matter.

[laceymorganwrites]

First time calling you mommy - hcs

MHA edition

Dabi:

to tease you

needless to say it backfires

he fucking refuses to admit that he just wants someone to take care of him

because building intimate relationships just hurts even more, he´s on borrowed time anyway and knowing that he could leave someone behind to mourn him...he doesn´t ever want to put that fate on anyone

so your relationship starts out as playful and casual, no strings attached

but he finds his  way back to you way too often for his own liking, yet he can´t leave

and it´s not because of the sex, it´s because he can actually fucking sleep at night...without the nightmares. he feels safe

´naww, did mommy miss her baby boy?´ he grins when he comes back home one day, hoping to make you feel embarrassed and shy

well. joke´s on him

´so what if I did?´ you smirk, stalking towards him and doing that thing where you just look at his face, so lovingly and trace his scars. his brain seizes to function every damn time

and at that moment he really does realize he wants to be your good boy

Hawks:

when you touch his wings

look, he´s very sensitive and gets attached way too quickly

but with you he feels like that´s okay

like somehow you won´t use it against him

honestly this guy never knew anything but acceleration so for him falling in love is always a whirlwind 

he mostly loses interest quickly though

because as much as he hates to admit it, he gets bored of people easily

mostly because of his trust issues, with you it´s so easy to just fall and never let go

you´re his safe person and he always wants to be by your side

very clingy and touchy but he purrs so fucking much whenever you initiate and just hold him

his wings are a sensitive spot on his body that nobody ever really paid attention too

sure they always looked cool on TV but in privacy, especially when it comes to being intimate, people get grossed out quickly

so when you caress them so casually he is touched beyond words

Keigo always melts at your touch

´please don´t stop, mommy´

Enji:

when you order him around

he´s not stupid, he knows he likes to sub on your first date, how could he not? 

you have such an authoritive air around you, he´s completely smitten with you from the start

not just because it´s so different from his past experiences, but because he finally found what he was looking for, what he´s so scared to put into words

he´s stubborn and embarrassed to have those feelings, to be so dependant on someone, but in the end he opens up and talks to you about it

you find it incredibly cute and admire how shy he can get

listen Enji is the perfect fucking malewife okay?? actual good stay at home dad 

to be very fair he only got that way with your help and a lot of apologizing, realization, reflection and working on himself (and communication after his kids got around and saw he was serious)

´thank you for being patient with me, I don´t know how you do it but you make me feel so safe, for the first time in my life I don´t mind not being in control´

´naww, you wanna call me mommy so bad~´ you tease him because you enjoy his bashfulness a bit too much

and he blushes so hard, averting his eyes and just mumbling: ´w-would you mind that?´

´of course not, I´m into it after all´

Shigaraki:

when you scold him

this man has the weirdest mix of a degration and praise kink

I mean his kinks are on the weird side anyway cause he needs very specific things to actually get it up and cumming is a whole nother thing

but you´re so understanding of this and help him explore, figure out new things

he´s a fucking brat but he´s actually grateful to you even if he has trouble voicing it most of the time

pouty all the time when you´re in public and will cling onto your shirt 

most of the time he´ll hide behind you

he´s so clueless when it comes to initiating anything, be that romantic or sexual, you mostly make the first move but are super proud of him whenever he does get the courage to

but not everything is perfect, because he´s a brat and way too stubborn for his own good 

he just talks back too much, he gets too passionate about stupid things and is easily offended

doesn´t really get angry with you, just because he doesn´t know how to

he has a lot of anger stored in him, but it´s directed at the world, not at you

it´s rare these days that you have off days where it´s just the two of you and he´s annoyed by it all, it´s all pent up so he ends up making a few too many petty and cruel remarks

´if you keep acting like a little bitch I can just leave´ you say sternly, hands on your hips

he actually shuts up for once and looks at you with big eyes, almost crying 

´I´m sorry mommy, please don´t be mad at me´

Overhaul:

when you praise him

he´s so cute and proud to be with you

Kai´s never been interested in pursuing romance, the whole concept disgusted him

but then he met you

you were the head of another family (A/N: actually writing a fic abt that) and worked with him on a few occasions

you were the only person he felt like he could trust business wise, he had a lot of respect for you and admired you deeply

over time he realized that you were incredibly beautiful as well, he just couldn´t take his eyes off you

it got annoying when he couldn´t stop thinking about you

he never thought you´d like him back but that didn´t matter to him

he wanted to get rid of his pesky feelings and asked you to take a walk with him after work

your relationship progressed slowly and therefore you always felt safe with him and he with you

eating together, moving together and having sex or even cuddling and kissing all took a lot of time for him but he´s very glad to be making his first experiences with you

you felt bad at first that he did the most cleaning and cooking but over time you accepted that he didn´t view it as a chore but simply needed it for his well being

´you did so well today, baby. I´m really proud of you. You´re so beautiful, you know that?´ you smile after a longer and rougher session

Kai´s still in a blissful state and smiles back at you, his eyes glimmering with love

´yeah? I´m really happy I can make you happy, mommy. Because you make me so happy too´

[daddyelliott1979]

How to help your little become comfortable with Public play

One of my little ones @squirtdaboi asked me to write this as we explore public play within our dynamic.

Firstly let me define what I mean before I get shouted at for including others in kink without their consent.

In this instance we are talking padding, cute outfits and the dynamic itself playing out in public.

I'm going to break this down into a few parts

But my number 1 concern is safety, I'm never putting them in harm's way, I'm not going push them beyond what they are comfortable with.

Safety

Communication

The Play itself

After care and post outing communication

Safety

As a Daddy and Dom I'm always pushing my boys to grow, to expand themselves and be the best version of themselves (in and out of dynamics).

An example, my youngest who asked me to write this and I are starting small, he wears a pull up out, and I will low key talk to him like a kiddo.

He gets very squirmy, usually tells me to shut up (this is part of our dynamic). He gets flustered and a bit embarrassed.

I remind him no one is around and if they heard us they would have no clue what we are talking about. And I use humour to distract him.

I am never going to make him do something dumb like put his Dummy and demand he does as Daddy says; that's an overstep.

However in a recent outting he went out thickly padded, in dungarees, he took his Dummy and in a secluded place he popped it in and asked for a photo.

He felt amazing; I made him feel safe to ask for this- mission accomplished.

Know where you are and who's about before exploring public play! Always think about your little's comfort level and emotions.

I have to do this more because my little has special needs.

Communication

And this brings us to this important aspect, because of his sensory issues we have to talk and plan things more, and I'm more than happy to do.

Communication helps bring its own level of safety, each person knows exactly what's going to happen.

Discussing expectations before embarking on public play, what will.yoy be doing, how will it work and what precautions you might take! Remember safety!

Praise, Praise, Praise, Praise! Can't emphasize this enough! If he does something well, gets out of his comfort zone or does something unexpected - praise the fuck out of him!

Tell him how proud you are, tell him he's the best little boy in the world, and reward him- I buy mine little treats, but you could easily set up a reward system to support him!

Take time when it goes wrong, if he's anxious then take to a quiet space and 'check in", it's great if you have a set of questions that you always ask. This builds consistency and trust!

If you're still learning your little comfort levels you could set up a simple set of phrases where he can communicate "Green, Amber and Red" for example. Quick, no fuss communication is very beneficial; safe words aren't just for the bedroom!

Also reassure them throughout the experience! I tell my little one "doing scary things means you are brave, and being brave builds confidence!

The Play itself

This is best done in incremental steps, baby steps if you will. Start with being padded, or talking to them like a little, whilst in public.

Start with maybe a short walk to a local shop, Or grabbing changing supplies whilst at the supermarket.

Gauge the reactions of those around you and demonstrate no one cares! Reflect back how safe he is.

Be consistent, we are going to do X, and stick to it, don't change it up at the last minute. However if you have built a level of trust then a small additional extra; know your little well though, if change is an issue then don't do it!

And again praise that boy because the more he knows you are proud of him and that you got his back the more confident he's going to be!

The more he's going to want to do!

Again I can't stress enough doing different things each time, but make sure you communicate exactly what will happen! Make it fun and exciting!

After care and post outing communication

One thing to think about is having a strategy if things go wrong. That includes keeping your cool if your little one wasn't able to do what was expected or perhaps got stressed and refused.

Have an exit strategy; where are you going to take them, how will you hug in public or what will you communicate to them?

You're their Daddy, they look at you during stressful situations, they need to know you got them. Maybe they have a small pocket stuffie or comfort item. Maybe go to their favourite cafe for a hot chocolate.

And if it went well, to plan or exceeded your expectations, then praise the heck out of that boy; hesy of just broken through years of fear of repression. He needs to know how God's damn proud you are of him!

Like all aftercare you provide you know what your kiddo likes. Mines definitely about close snuggles and warm blankets, and of course quiet time to process. So he gets all of that once home.

And a bottle because it builds such a powerful bond!

Conclusion

You are building the foundations for his growth, and if you are anything like this Daddy, then you should be invested in the long game!

So little by little, pun intended, you are developing skills and abilities in him that will help in every area of his life; invest in him, and you will help create not only an exceptional little, but an incredible (little) Man!

[intairnwetrust]

Round two in defence of Violet Sorrengail because apperently she is the bad guy in Xaden's and her relationship problems.

I can't believe there are people hating on Violet. Are people serious right now? You all better fucking stop calling my girl Violet whiny.

I would like to see your reaction when you find out that your whole life, everything you believed in, was a lie. Then on top of that, you didn't even have time to process the whole thing properly.

After the revelation, Violet went straight into battle, in which she almost died! Then she finds out that her brother is still alive and then overall her being involved in the whole revolution. Violet didn't even got a break to process the whole thing properly and on top on that, in the first half of the time she didn't even have anyone to turn to. Her two dragons betrayed her and so did the man she loved and who wants to discuss relationship problem with a brother who played dead for 6 years?

Violet only really talked once about her relationship problems and that was with Imogen. She didn't even talk to her friends about it later. There were just a few sentences. She didn't cry about her problems to anyone accessible. Whenever we learned about her relationship problems it was in her inner monologue. It is completly normal, it is realistic, for someone in Violet's situation to thing about her whole relationship. If she wouldn't think about her communication issues with Xaden then it would means she wouldn't care.

Besides, it doesn't hinder the plot at all. We are shown their problems at the beginning and when she is with Xaden. I know shocking that we have come across problems that this couple is having when that couple comes into the picture.

I absolutly don't understand how people can blame Violet more than Xaden for their whole communication issue. I absolutly love Xaden but what he did here was bullshit.

I completly agree that all this running in circles between the two of them was annoying as hell and you really only saw improvements almost at the end but Xaden is much more to blame for the two of them not making progress than Violet. This whole 'ask me a question' thing is so stupid.

Xaden is the one who broke Violet trust but for him waiting for a question from Violet basically means he expects from Violet to make the first step when he actually should do it! He broke her trust not the other way around. He makes it so easy for himself when he himself said he don't mind hard work to get what he wants. Yes, then act like that.

Sorry but no this boy had the audacity to look disappointed when Violet didn't ask her question. Sirrrr you could habe simply start the conversation!

In the end, their whole problem was reflected on again by Violet and yes Violet even blamed herself partially, she was scared to ask because she feared the truth to some of her question but Xaden should have been much more accommodating all the way there. Violet's world was turned upside down, not his. Xaden shouldn't have waited for Violet to ask a question, but simply should have started the conversation.

I mean look at character 58, after the two of them running in circles the whole time, this chapter was a total satisfaction.

"I understand that there will be times you can’t tell me everything—that’s the nature of what we do as riders—but I need you to stop setting me up for failure by insisting I figure out what there is to ask."

And then Xaden's reply "Done." It could have been so simple. Because this is exactly what Xaden did with his whole question game. He, even when it was unknowingly, set Violet up for failure by insisting she figures out what there is to ask.

When you really want to be annoyed with someone because of these constant, repetitive and therefore annoying problems that the two of them had in their communication then please look at Xaden first.

[beigepillow]

God, the chapter hasn't even come out yet and people are already starting to demonize Doumeki. I'm really sorry, and it's probably not a popular opinion, but I really don't understand how Doumeki is supposed to know what's going on in Yashiro's head. He feels one thing, but says and does something completely different. We know that. Yes. But Doumeki can't read minds. Yashiro's body says yes. But in words, Yashiro also behaves sarcastic, cold and sometimes cruel towards Doumeki. Nothing changed. It's difficult to understand what's going on in a person's head. To believe that he loves you and if you open up to him again, this time he won’t leave you and you won’t get a bullet from him? Of course, I’m also annoyed by this whole situation and I want them to have a normal conversation! But to really demonize Doumeki... I can understand his behavior. How can I fully understand Yashiro's behavior. Yoneda wrote Doumeki as more than just a love interest. She created an interesting character with many good and bad qualities. With his own past and with his own traumas. Both Yashiro and Doumeki have huge trust issues. The fact that Yashiro is reflecting is already great progress!!! Doumeki keeps to himself but gives Yashiro space. They both go towards each other! Yes, not as quickly as we would like, but still. eh. It just upsets me that it feels like fans are ready to just destroy Doumeki for even the slightest bit of negative feelings towards Yashiro. As if Doumeki has no right to be jealous, offended, insolent... This makes me so frustrated(

Yeah, I understand this feeling well. I am not sure if you ever came across my blog a few months ago but I actually started out as almost a Doumeki defense blog lol. Most of my posts were about Doumeki’s pov because I felt there was a lot of harshness towards him. Ultimately I think the main issue those people have against Doumeki is that they don’t like Doumeki outside of being Yashiro’s love interest. That means Doumeki is not allowed to be a fully fleshed out character with his own insecurities and issues; he just needs to be whatever Yashiro needs him to be and he should know that even without any communication from Yashiro. Doumeki is supposed to be Yashiro’s lover, therapist and emotional whipping boy. A large part of the issue maybe certain interpretations of them as characters where there is a belief that Doumeki is this jealous, possessive man who only cares about having Yashiro at his side and Yashiro is the selfless one who only cares about doing what is best for Doumeki have influenced how we view their actions. We believe the worst of Doumeki while Yashiro is only at his mercy. The thing is Doumeki is acting in a way that Yashiro wanted in the past and pushing down his own desires to do it. He is not exactly happy with this arrangement either. Even when he was sweet, sensitive Doumeki, there was a lot of criticism towards him. There was even criticism of him for expressing he wants Yashiro to want only him. Doumeki is trying the best he can but Yashiro’s trauma goes beyond him. He can’t heal Yashiro nor should he be expected to. He also shouldn’t be expected to constantly sacrifice his own needs and desires for Yashiro and to never express any negative emotion about Yashiro’s actions. That is not an equal relationship. Some people have so much empathy for Yashiro but almost none for Doumeki. The most interesting thing is that if you even suggest Doumeki and Yashiro separate, those people would also hate that idea because Yashiro’s happiness is so reliant on Doumeki. I feel your frustration, anon. I feel like I can rant about this forever.