#boutta keep myself safe

[angelofsmalldeath011]

its kida crazy that i felt that i wqs gonna cry and puke and pass out on my way to school tiday but as soon as i got home i immediately felt better, really says something about the school system huh

[matchadobo]

KIDD; what are we?

wc: 555

summary: you ask kidd the burning question during the act.

warning/s: 🔞nsfw, afab reader, smut-fluff, actual seggs

"what are we?"

kidd blinked at you, he was frozen. he was still inside you, cock throbbing and heavy. you were holding onto his face, your eyes teary and cheeks flushed. he had his hips prying your legs open but his movements came to a stop at your statement. his face was close, so close you could see his eyes shaking.

he took a lot of staring before snorting and chuckling. "you know what we are, bunny. you just wanna hear me say it, aye?"

his hips resumed to rock back and forth, leaning back as he looked down at you. smiling as he gazed at you sinfully. your grip on his arm tightened at his impact.

he was right. you two are not in an official relationship; no vows had been made, no confessions, nor had you two moved further than keeping your beds warm. but you two are clearly aware that you two belong to each other. aware that it's only him and only you in his life. aware that nobody else other than the both of you can make you feel as good as each other do. aware that you two want to take it further but are just tiptoeing because you two don't want to break whatever you two have. that's why it's been static.

so when you two came and finished, it was quiet. contrast to the usual nights where you two never ran out of things to talk about. you wanted to say something but what? where do you even start?

"if i said i want more than sex," kidd cleared his throat. "would that change anything?" kidd turned his head to the side, full attention on you.

"i always think to myself, do those kisses mean anything or do you just want to keep my cock warm? do the kisses on my scars mean anything or you just whore over me? do the reminder to fuckin' eat as you barge in my workshop just an invitation for sex or do you actually care about me? are you being patient with me because you genuinely wanna be or just so i still grow fond of you?"

this was the first time kidd had been so vocal about your relationship. that must be why tears are streaming down your cheeks as you listened to his deep, hoarse voice. his golden eyes were burning with genuine concern and anticipation of what you're about to say.

"i care about you. i kiss you because i want to. i kiss your scars because i want you to feel safe and i want you to love your scars. i make sure you eat because i don't want you to get sick from starving yourself. i'm patient with you because i want to. i'm doing everything because i want to. because i love you." and it all spilled out of you, not missing a heartbeat.

and kidd held your gaze firmly while you do so. his cock soft on your stomach, your breasts squished in his embrace, your cunt brushing on his thigh, and your legs entangled with each other. a single tear fell from kidd's eyes.

"of course you do," he chuckled. "but it ain't always you who does the sappy shit, got it? let's have a date tomorrow, sort this all out, aye?"

tumblr formatting is kinda weird?? i don't see some buttons lol. ANW boutta reach 500 oml, i got an event prepared for you guys! i'm soooo excited to be writing again bc college welcomed me with baptism through fire honestly! so hectic. but here we are, i'd love to get my drive back and accept some requests. i hope the absences don't bore you guys ;=;. i swear look forward to the event! i anticipate your requests!

spoiler: i'll be accepting a total of 15 requests for the duration of the event, so 15 fics??? can u imagine????

[zzencat]

https://www.tumblr.com/zzencat/757903983643852800/hii-teddy-myself-asteria-im-interested-for-a-free?source=share

Hii there here for my feedback and before I proceed I'd like to apologize for being late.

Firstly I loved I mean LOVED my reading as its spot on! I love psychology and aim to do something related to it in Law where I'm able to help individuals and create a safe space for them and am on the path of pursuing it and well so glad to know that I'm in tune with my feminine side when I'm at my highest self no rather there's a perfect balance hoping to achieve that in future! Coming to my next romantic partner i have got this message before that she'll be a foreigner or will be having mixed roots unfortunately I'm not at all into guys romantically but the features you described matches my ideal type :3

Although I didn't quite understand as to what you meant like when things will seem alright and the kaboom moment. Apart from this loved my reading ♡♡ sending lots of love to youuu sweetheart 💕

hell yeah thank you for your feedback, happy to hear that you’d enjoyed it!! 😎👊 that makes a lot of sense! i was boutta say if it was a dude, he’d be hella in tune with his feminine energy but as it appears, the feminine energy has been identified 😂 thank you for the clarification! im glad things line up with you. keep that energy nice and strong!

AND for the kaboom moment, if you’re familiar with tarot terms, you had The Tower card!! watch out for that moment if it comes! best of luck to you and whenever you meet your fs! thank you for the feedback fam :DD

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5 Trial: What I Am in the Dark (#38)

“...Huh?”

“Put. The knife. Down.”

“.......”

“Wh-whoa! Where did that come from?!”

“Kishaba’s room.”

“Eats’s? Like, wait...”

We were both in the room at the time. I’m sure she can piece the clues together.

“You thought THAT was a spider?!”

“I...”

“Wait wait, you mean Itsurou lied about getting rid of everything?!”

“I can’t say it would be utterly senseless to keep one behind in the safety of his own bedroom.”

“So. Kurokame.”

I have to focus to keep my teeth from grinding. It’s a bit difficult to speak like that.

“Put the knife down. Now.” I don’t want to say it, but... “I will shoot.”

“...”

“........”

“Dude, hold up, wouldn’t that make you the killer?”

Am I not already? Excluding me from that title merely because I didn’t succeed seems a bit lenient.

But I admit that does make this a bit easier.

“Oh oh, that’s a good point!”

“Would we have a whole ‘nother trial if somebody got shot in the middle of this one?”

“Oh, um... We can cross that bridge when we get to it!”

That issue is of no consequence right now. I keep my eyes trained on Kurokame.

“If another person dies today, it will not be Kogamino. Put the knife down.”

“.......”

I assume she’s trying to gauge if I’m bluffing. I would hardly point a gun at a person’s head as a bluff. Even with my finger firmly on the guard rather than the trigger itself, I’m half afraid it will go off anyway. If it does...

“.......”

...I’m not certain Kogamino could keep from falling against the knife in her state.

I’ll simply have to hope it won’t misfire.

And that I won’t be forced to actually pull the trigger.

“Miss Kurokame.”

“You’ve established that you cannot look after your family if you are dead. Mister Attenborough has clear sights on you with a loaded gun, and we have no medical professionals left to save you if he fires.”

“So your only chance to live...”

“.....”

“...is to drop your weapon. Now.”

“....”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Kurokame begins to lower the knife. I very nearly slouch in relief, but that would certainly be a mistake. 

I nod slightly, not enough to upset my line of sight.

“Now place the knife on th—”

In a blur of pink, Kurokame goes down.

“—!”

“YAAAAAH!”

Pulse jumping, I frantically point the gun elsewhere as Yuukei, Kurokame, and Kogamino tumble onto the floor in an undignified tangle. I pick out the flash of the knife falling away, but I can’t be certain it hasn’t grazed anyone when a bit of Kogamino’s blood was on it already.

“Whoa!”

“Haha, that was fast!”

“Is... Is everyone uninjured?!”

“Somebody’s boutta NOT be... un...”

“That was too many ‘not’s and I got confused but yeah I’m good and I am totally beating Yuki up now.”

“Wh—What’s the use in that?! Just restrain her, please!”

“But I’m pissed!”

“Miss Kogamino is right there, too, in case you’ve forgotten!!”

“I’ll...!”

I narrowly stop myself from tossing the gun aside. I stow it where it was previously and cautiously approach the pile of limbs a few steps ahead. Yuukei is pulling Kurokame back by the hair as the latter struggles to twist out of her grip. Kogamino is curled up into a ball like she’s waiting out a junkyard dog attack. Not the worst possible approach, but it bars me from seeing if she’s injured.

“Kogamino!”

I can only see scattered traces of blood, so surely she can’t be that urgently injured, but���!

I crouch down and put my palm on her shoulder. She recoils hard before I have the chance to speak.

“.....” None of that, then.

I just ensure I’m stationed between her and the other two on the floor. I’m half surprised Tokino hasn’t run over to join the fray just for the sake of it.

“—!”

The room blurs. I have to grip Kogamino’s podium supports for balance.

I’m aware that I’m still fatigued, but... I can’t do this, not now. The trial isn’t over yet.

When I come back to myself, Kurokame’s been safely secured by Yuukei. Or rather, safely for the rest of us. I’m not certain how easily Kurokame can draw breath in that position.

“Ah...! The knife...?”

My vision dims a touch, which doesn’t assist with my search. But I can still hear Doppler speak up.

“It’s about two meters to your left. Out of their range.”

It takes me some time to interpret the words’ meaning, but by then I’m able to focus again. Yuukei grumbles as she clamps Kurokame’s wrists and ponytail in her iron grasp. 

Neither of them has managed to get the knife. That will have to suffice for the time being.

[PROCEED]

[krabmeat]

How do you think the characters first impression of you would be? :3

MMMMM FUNFUNFUN!!! IM REALLY BAD AT REMEMBERING ALMOST ALL OF THE CHARACTERS NAMES SO I JUST GIVE THEM NAMES BASED OFF OF THEIR CHARACTERISTICS HOPE THATS OKAY <33

Main character fella and i would probably see me sitting next to old guy after the murder spree before tug-of-war. he would be like "AYO BACK THE F-CK UP FROM HIM" and i would either be a bit sarcastic and say "damn, calm down bossman. you werent the one here keeping him safe so calm yourself you dunderhead." or id be as respectful as i could allow myself to be and just nod and walk away. eventually we would grow on each other and ally- id know him from the sugar honeycombs game and would feel like i kinda owe him for getting through sugar honeycombs and id also just think he seems like a smart ally to have because hes good at strategizing.

MY MAN ALIIII!!!! ahhh, as i said before i would meet him after killing one of tattoo fellas goons cause he was boutta kill him. ali being ali, he would feel indebted to me because i helped him out and i would try to return as much of the favors he does for me as possible! sometimes we would try to out-do the other with our kind deeds and sometimes it would get competitive like super fast.

glasses guy and i met because of having ali as a mutual close pal. glasses isnt exactly fond of me because he knows that ive got a good skillset and he was moreso distrusting or hesitant. soon enough though he came around! not as much as the other homies but to the point to where were at least well-aqquainted. the first time i got him to crack a smile after chatting with him and telling jokes mid conversation was a very nice victory for me, i would tease him and bring it up for a while.

the curly haired chick would probably HATE my guts. one of the habits that i have that has turned into things i jusy instinctually do is i mock a person when i wanna poke fun or make fun of them. and you best believe id be doing that a HELL of a lot to curly haired chick. she doesnt like my witty comments and most likely makes a racist comment about me like what she did to ali. to which i would promptly beat her a$$ but of course. though, i do hold a respect for her and how dedicated and determined she is. when she takes tattoo fella down with her during the glass bridge game i would genuinely be sad about her dying but my respect would grow. when she says tattoo guy has a small dick you would hear me from the glass pane i was on "YESS YOU GO!! CANT BELIEVE TATTOO FELLA HAS A SMALL DICK, WHATTA LOSER BAHAHAHA POINT AND LAUGH FELLAS- GOSH THATS SO EMBARRASSING"

TATTOO GUY!!! I HATE THIS B-TCHES GUTS! anyways, we would also meet a bit after the night before tug of war when he and his goons kill a bunch of people. he would probably try and get in my pants at one point- heres how that goes,

"omg hey bbygirl youre so hot and sexy and sexy and hot aha"

"oh my gosh you are too what a coincidence *vomits on him* *leaves*"

but yeah. he also most definitely talks sh-t about me and is about to fight me but is all like "lmfao forget it puny girl i have higher standards" to which i throw the punch instead before he leaves and go feral on his a$$.

AHHHH TYSM THIS TOOK A BIT CAUSE OF SCHOOL AND SLEEP BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TO THINK UP OF!! THESE WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE WHO CAME INTO MIND SO I JUST WROTE ABOUT IT WHEN I CAN ASK AS MUCJ ABOUT IT AS YOUD LIKE AGAIN TYSM <333

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[kyohiba]

snow white + prince cursing. jiang cheng and wen ning fix it post canon au

WEN NING TAKING A BLOW TO THE CHEST FOR JIN LING N JC TAKING AN ARROWN TO THE HEART FOR WEN NING LMAO

ssyifpfff🌙 i dig it, havent thot much of it tho

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but the idea of wen ning trailing behing sizhui and jc trailing behing jin ling n thm meeting while they keep their respective babies safe os *kisses filgers* DOLCE

May 16 i feel like a whole 4th eye of mine opened to that... but my mind probably wont be able to focus much. i hate how i can only hyperfixate in one or two ships at time

ISNT IT SO DOLCE? FORTÍSSIMO!

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng's hostility decreasing as they kept meeting...

yeeting patriarch perhaps wn and jc could get my ass more than jc with huaisang !?

but nothing will ever get ur ass more thn jc/happiness will it

jiang cheng n huaisang is v Aesthethic bc huaisang is a pretty pretty hoe

ssyifpfff🌙 bUT W WEN NING THERES A LOT OF ANGST

May 16 jc + happiness is all that matters

but... the sweet angst road of wn and jc...

yeeting patriarch IT CAN AND IT WILL LEAD TO HAPPINESS !?

and yea the Appeal of jc ano nhs is that huaisang is Very Pretty plus his scheming charm. but we arent given much canon background to work on this. not that it matters, lord knows we built the content when we really want to make anything

but The Flavor, of the canon background content for jc and wn Is There And It's Stronf

yeeting patriarch nevermind what i said im already ass deep into it. i love both jc and wn way too much, the appeal got me immediately

ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO BC WUXIAN DITCHED BOTH OF THEM FOR THT WANGJI D LMAO

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 them bonding over how dumb wuxian would act "he would float in the water n pretend he drowned" "yea he told a-yuan he needed to be buried in order to grow big n tall like a raddish" they look at each other n want to laugh but jc doenst know if hes comfortable enough for tht n wn doenst know if hes allowed to

May 16 yeeting patriarch REPRESSED DUMB BABIES LAUGH TO UR HEARTS CONTENTS TOGETHER :(((((

but oh god, the way jiang cheng is,

their road would be So Long

yeeting patriarch another slow burn, uh...

and then so much confusion and conflicted angsty feelings along the way when everything is better because jc was almost forgetting that..........wen ning is dead :) hes a corpse. what future awaits them. this is terrifying

yeeting patriarch ...why cant i have anything nice and just soft. i need to throw angst in or i die?

ssyifpfff🌙 its awful its a terrible idea to ship tht what r u doin

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but wen ning being a pure boy, dogs would love him, dogs would gather around him bc he has a Good Aura, n jianc cheng just observes from afar thinkin How can he be so approachable whn hes a fierce corpse

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 like it would have to start w jc thinkin wen ning is less thn a human u understand

May 16 yeeting patriarch

ssyifpfff🌙 SAJGDASDF

May 16 IM CRYING imagine one day jiang cheng finds wen ning, on the floor, on top of him there are like four different dogs all swaying their tails all that hyper bullshit dogs do.

the incident repeats quite a few times

yeeting patriarch jc notices dogs are drawn to wen ning?

ssyifpfff🌙 he notices MAYBE?? hes not a dangerous zombie after all???

May 16 he lets it slip and asks how wuxian reacted to it

as wwx is terrified of dogs

and wen ning is like. where we... spent most of our time... there were no dogs

(awkward silence timel

ah. ruined it again.

okay 2 take

when they're on those night hunts, wen ning + sizhui & jiang cheng + jin ling

fairy starts being Too Friendly towards wen ning

both jiang cheng and jin ling were initially taken aback by it

yeeting patriarch but as the time goes on... it Softens their heart

ssyifpfff🌙 iT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BC FAIRY IS A SPIRITUAL DOG N IT WOULDNT NVR BE FRIENDLY TO AN EVIL GHOUL SO IT RLY MAKES THM SEE THT WEN NING ISNT A BAD GUY

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 also take 2 on tht dog thing, wen ning is like "ah wei wuxian made me chase any dogs away, i quite like dogs but i had to" to remind jc of the puppies he had to give away bc of wwx lmao :)

May 16 yeeting patriarch THEY START REALIZING WEN NING IS THE PUREST ANGEL... and opening up, in their tsun ways, with him

yeeting patriarch i like how the canon wen ning art is him with a ginger cat, but for the sake of jiangning we made him a dog person

i honestly picture him being the snow white os mdzs, just all animals gathering around him

bird perching on his shoulders, deer eating from his hands. jiang cheng confused af

hes Prince Not Charming

ssyifpfff🌙 Prince Cursing, if u will

May 16 yeeting patriarch WEN NING SNOW WHITE OF MDZS AND HIS PRINCE CURSING JIANG CHENG IM YELLINGGFFKDJSKSK

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng going thru the trees and shit then he finds wen ning all surrounded by all animals cutely around him, the birds singing, some squirrels on the top of his head, a butterfly kissing his nose and suddenly the scene seem to have 💖Sparkles 💖 around. jiang cheng is like *rubs his eye and looks again* What

ssyifpfff🌙 "hey you... you have some animals on you" n wen ning was just super still he only focuses on jc "Oh yes. they do this sometimes. its ok i enjoy it"

May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 "everytime i wake up theres a few little ones on me, they must think im a rock or something" jiang cheng, internally, seein all the animals: CLEARLY THEY ENJOY IT TOO???

May 16 yeeting patriarch JIANG CHENG MACHINE BROKE

ssyifpfff🌙 MEAN JIANG CHENG.EXE STOPPED WORKING

May 16 PRECISELY HENSKLDGSKLS

i would like the idea of, somewhere farther into the future,

some cultivator bitch being mean to wen ning and by instinct jiang cheng ends up standing for wen 5

wen ning*

but then hes a sect leader and...

yknow how it wouldnt work

yeeting patriarch BUT A NYARI CAN DREAM!?

THEY CAN AT LEAST BE ... LIKE.... PHILTATOS

ssyifpfff🌙 MOST BELOVED

May 17 jiang cheng has responsibilities but thEY CAN BE LIKE YOU KNOW.... CASUAL

ssyifpfff🌙 they dont gotta marry. not every couple can be wangxian

May 17 PHILTATOSSSSSSSS

tbh im all in for casual couples too

yeeting patriarch not everyone needs or can have Marriage

hmmmmmm the more jc starts seeing The Light in wn, when they're at the middle of the road,

yeeting patriarch more tangled his emotions get?

he was supposed to LOATHE wen ning but then he sees what happened wasnt wen nings fault. hes angry, who to blame then? wuxian! but it also isnt entirely wwx's fault he lost the control, the dark cultivation is a dangerous path after all... and wwx had a lot on his shoulders... and most of all: it was the only path he could follow without his golden core :) the very golden core that now resides inside jc. who should he blame? who should he hate?? Himself???

yeeting patriarch goddammit can i stop with the suffering

me: snow white au hehe you, chaotic bastard: what if jiang cheng hated himself lmao

i hate specifically tht iT MAKES SENSE

ssyifpfff🌙 HE SPENT. OVER A DECADE BLAMING WEN NING N WUXIAN N TO REALIZE HE WAS WRONG, HE WASTED ALL THOSE YEARS. WHOS HE GONNA TURN THT HATE TOWARD??? HIMSELF OFC!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!!1

May 17 HOLD UP THAT I GRAB BOTH OF US TO JUMP INTO THE HELL HOLE BUT I CAN ALSO SAVE US

listen up,

one day all those feelings that keep growing and bottling up inside jc overflow and he explodes in yelling and tears and etc

wen ning, whom was with him, witness all that

yeeting patriarch and tries to soothe his state of mind

yeeting patriarch telling him that it's no one's fault. none of them couldve known what would happen. all sides had their good intentions here and there, but unfortunately fates can twist it in a way they never expected

BUT THEN jc returns with an "then why do u look like u blame yourself as well?" BECAUSE WEN NING DOES

yeeting patriarch sorry apparently the half brain cell i have working, only does suffering hours

"THEN WHY DO U BLAME URSELF"

nyari u sAID U COULD SAVE US

ssyifpfff🌙 wen ning is like "..............." jiang cheng: i know it wasnt anyones fault but then what am i supposed to feel? who am i supposed to hate??"

May 17 yeeting patriarch IM LAUGHINGS O MUCH IM NOT BRSTJINENSKS

wen ning is like No one. there isnt any1 to blame anymore

ssyifpfff🌙 im franctically tryin to make it bETTER NYARI LEND ME A HAND DAM IT

May 17

MY THROAT HURTS IM TOO BROKE LIKE (MANIC LAUGHTER)

yeeting patriarch okay lemme get myself back together and try to offer some fix it

yeeting patriarch me: *shaking, weakly offering a tiny ass pink hello kitty band aid* This Will Fix Everything (the hell hole im offering the band aid for is like 17cm)

yeeting patriarch wen ning goes confident mode again and says that he cant help it as much jc and wwx, all of them will feel guilty no matter what anyone says. they tried their best but it backfired and they will need, they have to, learn how to live in terms with it. not forgetting, but still forgiving themselves and each other

wen ning obv has the wisdom of some1 who has died, seen death, been death, and come back to life

he has an appreciation for the little things no others would have

if any1 could emotionally guide jc it wOULD BE HIM1!

ssyifpfff🌙 "i have regrets too, but theres no choice for any of us but to live w them n learn"

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 i think wen nings sensibility woULD BE SO GOOD FOR JC, hes always tense he needs a break of him just being so still tht birds can perch on his shoulders

May 17

WEN NINGGGGGGGGG

yeeting patriarch he'll literally become jc's heaven sent angel... his solace and calm

like, after that breakdown and the things wen ning said

yeeting patriarch jiang cheng actually does feel... Lighter

wen ning boutta be jiang chengs therapist

ssyifpfff🌙 its what he needs

May 17 but as jiang cheng starts dealing better with his internal demons

he starts seeing more too that wen ning isnt only light

wen ning carries his pain too, inevitably

and jc starts to help wn as well

yeeting patriarch each other's company start being the healing they needed?

woke

ssyifpfff🌙 jiang cheng teached wn confidence and wen ning teaches jiang cheng stillness and softness

May 17 i teared up here

after The Wen Ning Effect, and jiang cheng softening. people of his sect start to be... less afraid of him? AND BETTER, the respect level only grows!

jiang cheng realizing there is strength in softness too

that to be tender doesnt mean to be weak

of course his actions arent Oh, Super Obvious as he is a tsun

yeeting patriarch but u can feel The Difference on his aura

YOU HAVE TO BE SOFT TO BE STRONG JIANG CHENG

ASKJDAJSDGF

ssyifpfff🌙 I KNOW THAT WHEN LOVE IS LOST..............

May 17 yeeting patriarch I LOVE HOW IN SYNC WE ARE MY MIND ALSO WENT SOFT TO BE STRONF .MP3

ssyifpfff🌙 WE'VE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG THE TRUTH IS............ YOU HAVE TO BE S

May 17 yeeting patriarch ME, ON THE FLOOR, SOBBING, SINGING ALONF,

ssyifpfff🌙 EXTREME MOOD RN

May 17 yeeting patriarch we did done it again and again... i cannot believe it

honestly if the ppl in his sect see tht jc has the ghost general over for tea they'd be like Wow sect leader cheng rly is amazing

ssyifpfff🌙 hes so fearless

May 17 im tearing up again

HMMMMMMMMM his relationship with wen ning also being a bridge for some fixing for his relationship with wuxian...........

takes so much time and it's slow

but

after he took it all in, and especially wen nings words that he shouldn't forget to forgive, and has to live with it

he starts Understanding the events. that is was inevitable. and that the anger would not help nor be good for any of them

yeeting patriarch that for the ones around them (like jin ling) they need to... overcome it

*sobbing* wen ning even helping him to overcome his inferiority complex !?

yeeting patriarch making jc see that this and this sides of him are greater and make up for this and this other ones. that he, too, was of vital importance on here and there

tht the ppl around him look up to him, tht they dont compare him to wuxian, tht the strenght he has shown isnt just coming from his golden core but from his choices as well

from his leadership

also jiang cheng realizing yanli wouldnt want him to hate

ssyifpfff🌙 the worst part abt yanlis death is tht we dont ever hear her last words

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 she doesnt get to finish sayin thm, we dont know what she was gonna say to wuxian n i firmly believe tht if she has finished n she had said she didint blame him, thn jiang cheng wouldnt have been as hung up on hate as he was

May 17 yeeting patriarch

yeeting patriarch tbh yanli... she just Understood more. faster than the two dense dumbasses

SHE WAS SO BRIGHT

AND MATURE

ssyifpfff🌙 I MISS HER EVERYDAY

May 17 and it's like. Obvious she wouldnt want them to be that way. she would want them to understand the terms of the situation and overcome it TOGETHER

IM SO SAD SHE DESERVED BETTER :(((

but after jiang cheng learns how to deals with his demons,

and most important of all: Grows (emotionally)

he starts seeing things a bit more like his sister would

yeeting patriarch WWYLD (What Would YanLi Do)

yeeting patriarch hmm now what's left is his daddy issues

WWYLD!!!!!

sadasdfsf the fuck jiang dad

ssyifpfff🌙 can u believ wen ning is jiang chengs love+fear era

May 17 hmmmmmmmm let's say that as he watches himself raise jin ling he starts to understand his dad couldn't be easy on him. and that he Had To be softer on wwx's for his situations

i cant go deeper on this one because his dad messed up

yeeting patriarch but let's say that was really the case,

ssyifpfff🌙 yes theres no excuse for his dad, he had a soft spot for wwx n his favoritism showed

May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 its more like, its important for jc to Know it doesnt matter, he grew up to be a good leader n tht proved his dad wrong

May 17 IT'S HARD TO FIND A SITUATION OUT OF HIS DAD REASONS he messed up

BUT!!! YES!!!!!!!

learn to let go of those feelings towards his dad

yeeting patriarch and the day it finally fully clicked inside him that he became an amazing sect leader, he proved it

it's also important that he could realize having wwx golden core inside him means as if wwx really kept his promise

he stayed by his side

yeeting patriarch a very important piece of wwx will always be with him