#bottom jackie representation

[shaunaussy]

I wrote something….

During a game of truth or dare, Jackie unaware of the repercussions, drunkingly confessed that she had previously had a crush on Shauna when they were twelve and then a couple times after that. (she still does)

A couple days afterwards Taissa is reading a book in peace when she spots Jackie storming up to her in fright as if she had just committed murder. Except that wasn’t the case, Jackie was simply coming to terms with the fact she wasn’t the dominant team captain she’d thought she was.

OR

Jackie pursed her lips, paused, and then met Tai's gaze. "I think any semblance of control I believed I had has simply evaporated. Even more unsettling, I'm beginning to suspect I never had it to begin with," she confessed, letting out a deep sigh as she settled into the silver chair.

Tai, growing even more bewildered, tilted her head and regarded Jackie with a perplexed expression. After another brief silence, Jackie continued.

“Me and Shauna fucked.”

(or there was some serious need for bottom jackie representation, so here you go bottom jackie truthers i shall feed youuuuuu!)

+ this is my yellowjackets debut so everybody be excited

[tobi-smp]

well ! if I'm posting about my other interests ! have a little how-to guide for getting into marble hornets:

firstly, what is it.

that's an answer in two parts! it's a foundational indie horror web series on youtube that was beloved in its time for its mystery, atmosphere, and editing (pioneering or popularizing many of the techniques that you'll see more commonly now in the analogue horror genre, just with the budget of college students in 2009).

and it's remembered fondly Now for its fascinating representation of mental health (in how it subverts the harmful ways that horror tends to depict more stigmatized disorders, but Also in how it depicts mental and physical health in general), and the underlying queer themes that While subtext at the time have ultimately been confirmed as intentional as one co creators (and actor for the main character) has come out as bisexual!

it is Also a wildly creative and beautiful comic series. written solely by troy wagner (the aforementioned co-creator) and illustrated by jackie reynolds (a long time fan of the series and insanely talented illustrator). taking place after the events of the webseries, the comics take full advantage of this new visual medium to express the horror, atmosphere, and emotions of the series in a more visceral way. and being self published they're free to make whatever they'd like

done entirely in water color and ink, it builds beautifully on what was laid down with the original series and carves out its own identity and legacy.

it's also just very lovely seeing queer creators who were once writing subtext be able to just. Be Open about it. both about themselves and their characters. it's a horror story that happens to have queer characters mind, but it's just ! nice.

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now ! being internet horror that's sat in that weird space between args and analogue horror (nightmind would call it Unfiction, but unfortunately that term hasn't caught on as much as I'd have liked) it's not as simple to get into as just like, Watching A Show.

that's not to say you Can't just watch it, but rather I have ways to help you get more out of it :>

1: The full chronological playlist for the marble hornets web series, including the totheark replies: [Link]

this is exactly what it says on the tin ! the entire series in order, I've even included the dvd extras at the end of each season !

two notes: firstly, the full series is captioned, and I think they're very nice captions! and secondly, there's a lot of loud noises in the series, which the captions help mitigate a bit. this is due in part to the nature of the kind of horror it is (though it doesn't have straight up jumpscares), but Also because troy wagner was HoH at the time he was doing the audio editing for the series.

there's significantly fewer issues with the audio as the series goes on (troy actually got surgery for his hearing!) but for the most part it's fine just keeping it Somewhat lower. except entry five. entry five is so very loud <3

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2: The in-character twitter for jay merrick (the main character of marble hornets): [Link]

much like the youtube channel is presented as being ran by the main character/pov character of the series (jay merrick), the twitter was created to run along-side the main series! it mostly exists to give us further insight into jay's mental state and personal life that you don't get in the main series, especially early on!

it's a little cumbersome nowadays, especially since twitter doesn't Like being archival. but you kind of just have to scroll all the way to the bottom to when the twitter was created and scroll up to follow along jlkfasdjlkfdas

this is made a Little more difficult because the account got hacked in 2020 and reinstated 2021, so all of the dates are wrong now. but the account always posted when new entries were uploaded so it's easy to watch an entry, check what was posted after it was uploaded, and then see the link for the next entry and know to stop until you've watched.

you don't Have to do it this way, but I think it's the way to get the most out of it!

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3: All of the translated codes for totheark/tta listed in order: [Link]

back in the day, youtube allowed you to make Video Replies, which would be displayed Under whatever video you were responding to! this feature was ultimately removed because of the tendency to do make clickbait in response to whatever was currently popular, but it was Wonderful in this instance !

the youtube channel and twitter were presented as in character, and they took advantage of this by having a second channel created (named totheark) start Replying to the entries as they were uploaded. these videos were highly edited and contained codes and secrets that were meant as messages to the main character (and the audience)!

there was a dedicated community for code breaking throughout the show's entire life, and this list here goes through every one! I like this one in particular because it Also gives us information on How the codes were broken, in a digestible way.

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4: Nightmind's marble hornets explained series: [Link]

this is definitely Optional. it's obviously not official media, is outdated now that the comics have started, and I'd say was flawed even at its release. (it's not a spoiler if nobody knows what I'm talking about, so I'll say now that I'm not a fan of his theory with masky, and the seth theory is very famously silly).

BUT! I Do think it's a very good resource when it comes to putting certain crucial things together. as the whole point of the series is that it's a Mystery. you see nearly everything out of order and you're intentionally limited in what you know about characters and their motivations. this series works as a good jumping off point in that it helps to put things into Context and change your perspective on certain events and character With the benefit of said context!

like I said, it's not Required, it might just be helpful! a starting point to help chew on things once you've watched the web series in full for the first time.

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Comics!: [Link]

comics ! they're all available on troy wagner's personal website! (along with other goodies that are periodically available!) you can buy them either physically Or digitally ! personally I'd recommend digital, as it's cheaper, instantly available, and the digital extras are wonderful!

they come with the script for the comics, a commentary version (including comments from troy and jackie on every page), and other extras like backgrounds, behind the scenes sketches, character art, etc!

I would very much so suggest buying the comics if you're interested. this is an indie project being ran and funded by two people (and again! there's other goodies in the store that are worth looking at). buttttttt, my friends may dm me <3

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Extras! [Extras]

Anniversary streams [Link] on a few different anniversaries for the series several of the creators have done streams rewatching the series and reacting to it live ! this is a playlist where I've collected all of the instances that I could find :>

I Also included the dvd commentary here ! the format is different, but it's a similar concept so, why not ljkfsdajklfasd

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Interviews, QnA's, and con appearances: [Link] exactly what it sounds like !

I was, at one point, overtaken by some kind of madness and hunted down for every single Person Records Marble Hornets Creators Talking About Marble Hornets thing I could find, and then attempted to put it in order. this is just ! for fun. I do so adore it though, I have one con panel that was recorded on someone's 3ds.

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My silly posts:

some analysis posts I've main on my main account since having watched the series ! these all contain spoilers so I wouldn't suggest watching them until you've seen the show (though I Would suggest reading them if you do choose to watch the explained series)

this is my post going into what I think masky is supposed to be/represent, and why it's Important [Link] which I think pairs nicely with this post by tim sutton (one of marble hornet's actors) [Link]

my discussions on jay's mental health and behavior and how they're often misunderstood (which won't necessarily be needed if you've read through his twitter jlkfasdlkjafds) [Link 1, Link 2]

confirmation that jay is canonically queer :> [Link]

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Social Media

Social media for various marble hornets creatives !

Troy wagner (co-creator, actor for jay): Tumblr [Link] Twitter [Link] Instagram [Link]

Jackie Reynolds (main artist for the comics): Tumblr [Link] Twitter [Link] Instagram [Link] Linktree [Link]

Tim Sutton (actor for tim (I know)): Tumblr (inactive): [Link] Twitter: [Link]

Joseph DeLage (co-creator, actor for alex): Twitter [Link]

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and here's art jackie drew of masky marble hornets punching richard spencer in the face <3

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

Representation matters!-in TV/MOVIES.

i am, obviously, not able to type ALL here, but the ones i know and love dearly+the ones I think are most important for the viewers♥- I WILL KEEP UPDATING THIS WHEN NEEDED♥) +obvi not in any important-order!!

1. BISEXUAL-BI-REPRESENTATION (as a bi person myself I still think this should be represented more in media everywhere(when it’s done right!))

-bi boys: Jesper Fahey (Shadow And Bone), Nick Nelson (Heartstopper),  Alex Claremont-Diaz (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Timmy Andrews (The Craft: Legacy), Malakai Mitchell (Heartbreak High), Magnus Bane (Shadowhunters), Gar Logan-BeastBoy(DCTitans), Fiyero Tigelaar (Wicked (Part 1) 2024), Aki Menzies (GossipGirlHBOMax),, Salem Saberhagen (SabrinaTheTeenageWitch-90s), Li Shang (Mulan1998), Lucifer (Lucifer), Jeremiah Fisher (The Summer I Turned Pretty),  Gael Martinez (Good Trouble), Michael Guerin (Roswell, New Mexico), Evan "Buck" Buckley (9-1-1), Dustin ‘Dusty’ Reid (Heartbreak High), Patrick Zweig (Challengers 2024), Cyrus Henstridge (The Royals),

  - bi girls: Anna Taggaro (OTH-One Tree Hill), (and to me Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis(the actress said it so it’s canon!), Rachel Gatina (OTH-One Tree Hill), Nina Zenik (Shadow And Bone),  AJ Campos (Crush2022), Hope Mikaelson (TO-Legacies), Ava Silva (Warrior Nun), Katherine "Kitty" Song-Covey (XO Kitty), Missy Beckett (Heartbreak High), Yasmina-Yaz Fadoula (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory), Casey Gardner (Atypical), Noa Olivar (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Abby(Atypical), Beatrix "Bird" Castro (Finding Carter), Marissa Cooper (The O.C), Alex Kelly (The O.C),  Elphaba Thropp (Wicked (Part 1) 2024), Aneesa Qureshi (Never Have I Ever),  Lake Meriwether (Love, Victor),  Vada Cavell (TheFallout-2021), Eve (Lucifer), Stella Yamada (Lemonade Mouth 2011), Sahar Zahid (Heartstopper (sinceS2) ), Nora Holleran (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Haley Dunphy (Modern Family), Eleanor Henstridge (The Royals), Maureen Johnson (Rent the musical), Anthea (Shazam! Fury of the Gods), Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo), Sue Gilbert (Dickinson), Toni Topaz (Riverdale), Marie Moreau (Gen V), Jackie (Love Lies Bleeding), Isobel Evans-Bracken (Roswell, New Mexico), Francesca Bridgerton (Bridgerton), Helga Sinclair (Atlantis: The Lost Empire), Jules Millin & Mika Yasuda (Grey’s Anatomy Since Season 19)

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

2. PANSEXUAL-PAN-REPRESENTATION

Max Wolfe (GossipGirlHBOMax), Mazikeen (Lucifer), Mal (Descendants Movies), Josie Saltzman (Legacies,TO,TVD), Penelope Park (Legacies), Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy), Isabel (Bottoms 2023), Karen Shetty (Mean Girls 2024), Benedict Bridgerton (Bridgerton),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

3. ASEXUAL/ ACE REPRESENTATION

Raphael Santiago (Shadowhunters), Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Tolya Yul-Bataar (ShadowAndBone-Grishaverse), Tori Spring (Heartstopper), Douglas ‘Cash’ Piggott (Heartbreak High),

4. GAY/ LESBIAN REPRESENTATION

-gay:  Wylan Hendriks/Wylan Van Eck (Shadow And Bone), Prince Henry Fox (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Jack McPhee (Dawson’s Creek),  Alec Lightwood (Shadowhunters), Simon Spier (Love,Simon2018),  Victor Salazar (Love,Victor),  Benji Campbell (Love,Victor), Rahim (Love,Victor), Charlie Spring (Heartstopper), Brimsley and Reynolds (OueenCharlotte-BridgertonSpinoff), Eric Van Der Woodsen (Gossip Girl), Quincy “Q” Shabazian (XOKitty), Damian Hubbard (Mean Girls 2024), Nick Feinstein  (The Fallout 2021), Alistair Ellington (Maxton Hall : The World Between Us (2024)), Wilbur Evans (Geek Girl),

-lesbian: Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun), Diana Berrigan(White Collar), Fabiola Torres (Never Have I Ever), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It), Sammy Gutierrez (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory), Emily Fields (Pretty Little Liars),  Maxine Baker (Ginny & Georgia),  Izzie Taylor (Atypical), Calliope "Cal" Burns (First Kill),  Juliette Fairmont (First Kill), Tara Jones (Heartstopper),  Darcy Olsson (Heartstopper), Mia Karp (Vampire Academy), Meredith Beckham (Vampire Academy), Tamar Kir-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Nadia Zhabin (Shadow And Bone),  Simone Jackson (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Yuri Han (XO Kitty), PJ and Josie (Bottoms 2023), Hazel Callahan (Bottoms 2023), Madison (Finding Carter),  Kit Tanthalos (Willow), Jade (Willow), Sabina Wilson (Charlie’s Angels 2019), Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo), Winnie Black (Miller’s Girl), Janis ‘Imi’ike (Mean Girls 2024), Emily Dickinson (Dickinson), Sasha So (Heartbreak High), Monet de Haan (GossipGirlHBOMax), Shirley Honrada & Elodie Honrada(played by THE Lea Salonga!!) (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Summer Field (Time Cut 2024),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

5. TRANSGENDER PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

-Elle Argent (Heartstopper),  Anybodys (West Side Story 2021),  Luna La (GossipGirlHBOMax), Chanel (Warrior Nun), Naomi Russell (Heartstopper), Amy (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue), Ash Romero (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin),

6. Non-Binary/Genderqueer/ (they/them) Representation

-Darren Rivers (Heartbreak High), Addison (Never Have I Ever), Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy), Jordan Li (Gen V), Darcy Olsson (Heartstopper), Felix Britten (Heartstopper),

(we seriously lack the representation in popular and mostly-watched shows and movies for teenagers and young adults here tho),

7. ASTHMA REPRESENTATION

-I don’t see this represented enough in TV or Movies for Young Adults, nor Kids.

8. DISABLED CHARACTERS REPRESENTATION:

Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey & Wylan Van Eck, Genya Safin(Shadow And Bone) , Rebecca Hall-Yoshida (Never Have I Ever), Maxton Hall : The World Between Us (2024),  ,  JWCC-Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory , Wicked (Part 1) 2024,

+ MORE BELOW(and above in this entire post♥):

9. EPILEPSY REPRESENTATION

Nathan Walter (My Life with The Walter Boys),

10. DIABETES REPRESENTATION

Cassie Salazar (Purple Hearts), Abby Brown (OTH-One Tree Hill), (still not enough tho, if it’s done, it is so often shown WRONG..)

11. ADHD REPRESENTATION

Jesper Fahey (Shadow And Bone),  Percy Jackson + other Demigods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Alex Claremont Diaz (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue),  Anne Shirley (Anne Of Green Gables 80s movies), Neal Caffrey(White Collar), Stiles (Teen Wolf),  Jesus Adams Foster (The Fosters),  Sara Eriksson (Young Royals),

12. AUTISM REPRESENTATION

Sam Gardner (Atypical), James McEwan (Heartstopper), Wylan Hendriks/Van Eck (Shadow And Bone), David Kostyk (Shadow And Bone), Amanda (Change Of Habit 1969), Oskar Schell (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close), Sara Eriksson (Young Royals), Quinni Gallagher-Jones (Heartbreak High), Francesca Bridgerton (Bridgerton), Harriet Manners (Geek Girl), Toby Pilgrim (Geek Girl),

13. DYSLEXIA/ DYSGRAPHIA REPRESENTATION

Wylan Hendriks/ Wylan Van Eck (Shadow and Bone), Percy Jackson (movies + tv show as well), Donna Martin (Beverly Hills 90210), CeCe Jones (Shake It Up),  Evan Chapin (Atypical),

14. DEAF/Hard of hearing(whichever u urself use!)COMMUNITY REPRESENTATION+ the use of Sign Language

Feel The Beat 2020, Ginny and Georgia, CODA 2021, Switched at Birth (2011–2017), Echo(Marvel), Eternals,

15. LATINX LEAD REPRESENTATION

Ava Silva (Warrior Nun) , Lissa Dragomir (Vampire Academy), Wednesday Addams (WednesdayNetflix), Anna Taggaro (One Tree Hill), Maria DeLuca (Roswell 90s), Santana Lopez (Glee),  Ella Lopez (Lucifer), Pilar Salazar (Love, Victor), Victor Salazar (Love, Victor), Maria (West Side Story2021), Cassie Salazar (Purple Hearts 2022), Alex Claremont-Diaz (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue), Jackie Howard (My Life with The Walter Boys), Noa Olivar (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Descendants (2015) & Descendants 2 (2017) & Descendants 3 (2019),

16. BLACK PEOPLE AS THE LEAD REPRESENTATION

Ariel (TheLittleMermaid2023),  Elphaba Thropp (Wicked (Part 1) 2024), Raven Baxter (That's So Raven), Cyborg (Teen Titans), Antwon Skills Taylor (OTH-One Tree Hill),  Darius Bowman (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory), Calliope Burns (First Kill), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy), Starr Carter (The Hate U Give 2018), Mary (Warrior Nun), Mia Brooks (Love, Victor), Simone Jackson (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Faran Bryant (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Tabitha 'Tabby' Haworthe (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Darren Rivers /they/them/ (Heartbreak High), Toni Topaz (Riverdale), Sarah Fox (My Babysitter’s a Vampire), Wilbur Evans (Geek Girl), Tara Jones (Heartstopper), Lucy Field & Summer Field (Time Cut 2024), Ginny (Ginny & Georgia),

+ Queen Charlotte & Bridgerton

17. INDIGENOUS PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

Malakai Mitchell (Heartbreak High), Missy Beckett (Heartbreak High), Reservation Dogs, Rez Ball (Netflix, out soon), Mohawk Girls,

18. ASIAN LEAD REPRESENTATION

Alina Starkov (Shadow And Bone), Mal Oretsev (Shadow and Bone), Tamar Kir-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Tolya Yul-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Lara Jean (To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It 2020), Tao Xu (Heartstopper), Kitty Song-Covey (XO Kitty), Isabel (Bottoms 2023), Minnie 'Mouse' Honrada (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Ash Romero (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Sasha So (Heartbreak High), Jordan Li (Gen V), 

(+desi women) Edwina Sharma & Kate Sharma Bridgerton (Bridgerton), Devi Vishwakumar (Never Have I Ever), Inej Ghafa (Shadow And Bone), Zoya Nazyalensky (Shadow And Bone),  Mohini "Mo" Banjaree (Lemonade Mouth 2011), Princess Jasmine (Aladdin 2019), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix), Amerie Wadia (Heartbreak High),

 19. POLYNESIAN / PACIFIC ISLANDERS REPRESENTATION

Moana/ Vaiana 1 + 2 , Christopher Kahunahana’s “Waikiki”, Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu’s “Kumu Hina” , “Vai,” , “Patu,” “For My Father’s Kingdom,” “Out Of State,” “Island Soldier,” “Everyday In Kaimuki,” “The Land Has Eyes” , “Naming Number 2,” “Merata: How Mum Decolonised The Screen” ,

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/pacific-islanders-films-representation_n_628bfc65e4b0edd2d0199a0c

20. MUSLIM REPRESENTATION

Rahim (Love, Victor), Aneesa Qureshi (Never Have I Ever), Sana (SKAM),  Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel),  Adena (The Bold Type),

We Are Lady Parts, Ramy (2019), Ali’s Wedding (2017),

21. JAPANESE REPRESENTATION

Kenji Kon (JWCC-Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous +JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory), Gar Logan (DCTitans), Paxton Hall-Yoshida (Never Have I Ever), Jo (Running for Grace2018), Hiro + Tadashi Hamada (Bix Hero6), Stella Yamada (Lemonade Mouth 2011),

22. JEWISH PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

Seth Cohen (The O.C), David Gordon (Gordo) (Lizzie McGuire),  Ben Gross (Never Have I Ever), Cyrus Rose (Gossip Girl), Max Wolfe (GossipGirlHBOMax), Danielle (Shiva Baby), Elphaba Thropp (Wicked The Musical Broadway/West End (when played by two Jewish powerhouses Idina Menzel & Caissie Levy)) , Disobedience 2017,

23. VEGAN REPRESENTATION

Gar Logan/Beast Boy (DCTitans), as a vegan i LOVED Wicked (Part 1) 2024 !!! (..like seriously we NEED more representation here..)

24. THE MAIN CHARACTER WEARING GLASSES REPRESENTATION

Elle Argent (Heartstopper),  Elphaba Thropp (Wicked (Part 1) 2024), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix), Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo), Margot Rivers(Get Even(2020) ), Harry Potter

25. NARCISSISTIC/ABUSIVE PARENT REPRESENTATION

Nathan Scott + Lucas Scott & Brooke Davis(OTH-One Tree Hill),  Wylan Hendriks/ Wylan Van Eck (Shadow And Bone),  Pacey Witter (Dawson’s Creek), Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl), Kenji Kon (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory), Michael Guerin (Roswell90s/RoswellOG), Blair Waldorf (GossipGirl), Daisy Jones (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy)  + Disney’s Tangled +  James & Lydia Beaufort (Maxton Hall : The World Between Us (2024))+ Descendants (2015) & Descendants 2 (2017) & Descendants 3 (2019), The Royals, Cruel Intentions 2024,

26. LOSS/ GRIEF REPRESENTATION

OTH-One Tree Hill, Roswell90s/RoswellOG, Shadow And Bone, White Collar, The Last Tycoon, Reign, JWCC-Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory, Never Have I Ever,  OneDay(Movie+TV show),

Red, White & Royal Blue(2023), Wicked (Part 1) 2024, Heartstopper, Vampire Academy(2022), Fallen (2024), Fallen (2016), The Vampire Diaries + Legacies, My Life with The Walter Boys, Wild Cards, Young Royals, Dickinson, Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin/Summer School, Heartbreak High, The Fallout(2021), Maxton Hall : The World Between Us, Dawson’sCreek, All Of Us Strangers 2023, Get Even(2020), Chambers 2019, Feel The Beat 2020, My Old Ass 2024, Anne Of Green Gables 80s movies, The Royals, Agatha All Along, Time Cut 2024, Bridgerton (S2), A Christmas Secret 2014, A Biltmore Christmas 2023, Charlie St. Cloud 2010, According to Greta 2009,

27. BAD MENTAL HEALTH/ DEPRESSION/ SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/SELF-HARM

OTH-One Tree Hill, Roswell90s/RoswellOG , Shadow And Bone, White Collar, JWCC-Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous & JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory, Legacies, Red, White & Royal Blue(2023), Wicked (Part 1) 2024, One Day (Movie + TV Show),  According to Greta(2009), Better Off Dead (1985), The Beat Beneath My Feet(2014),  Rocketman(2019), Mary & George, Heartstopper,  Maxton Hall : The World Between Us,  Dawson’sCreek, Fallen (2024), Fallen (2016), Vampire Academy (2022), Get Even(2020), The Royals, Ginny and Georgia,

  28. WRITERS/AUTHORS REPRESENTATION

Anne Shirley (Anne Of Green Gables 80s movies), Lucas Scott (OTH-One Tree Hill), Wednesday Addams (WednesdayNetflix), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix+Movie), Prince Henry Fox (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue),  Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl), Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek), Ezra Fitz (Pretty Little Liars),  Cairo Sweet (Miller’s Girl), Emily Dickinson (Dickinson), Penelope Featherington Bridgerton (Bridgerton), Lucy Hardgrove (A Biltmore Christmas 2023),

29. FRIENDSHIP/ FOUND-FAMILY REPRESENTATION

OTH-One Tree Hill, Roswell90s/RoswellOG, Shadow And Bone, RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue, Wicked (Part 1) 2024, JWCC-Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous &  JWCT-Jurassic World: Chaos Theory, White Collar, XO,Kitty, Heartstopper, Love,Victor  ,Teen Titans(OG), Scooby Doo(Everything), Daisy Jones And The Six, Lemonade Mouth 2011, Bottoms 2023, Willow(2022-2023), My Life with The Walter Boys, Charlie’s Angels 2019, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin/Summer School, Heartbreak High, Dawson’s Creek, The Thief Lord(2006), Warrior Nun, Living for the Dead, Maxton Hall:The World Between Us, Legacies, Lockwood&Co, Finding Carter, Fallen(2024), Fallen (2016), Vampire Academy(2022), The Fosters, Lab Rats, My Babysitter’s A Vampire, Descendants (2015) & Descendants 2 (2017) & Descendants 3 (2019), Get Even(2020), Feel The Beat 2020, Anne Of Green Gables 80s +00s movies, A Christmas Secret 2014,

30. FOSTER KIDS/ KIDS WITHOUT A PARENT FIGURE/OR STRUGGLING TO FIND ONE/ ORPHANS/ ADOPTED/

Landon Kirby (TO-Legacies), Anya/Anastasia(1997), Michael Guerin(RoswellOG/Roswell90s), Carter Stevens/Carter Wilson (Finding Carter), Anne Shirley(AnneOfGreenGables 80s movies), Callie Jacob(The Fosters), Sam Walker (OTH-One Tree Hill), Peyton Sawyer(OTH-One Tree Hill), Christian Ozera(Vampire Academy),Lissa Dragomir(Vampire Academy),  Hope Mikaelson(TO-Legacies),Gar Logan(DCTitans),Nick(No Good Nick), SHADOW AND BONE, Heartbreak High, Fallen (2024), Fallen (2016),

[fatehbaz]

Imagining futures; escaping hell; controlling time; living in better worlds.

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What we see happening in Ferguson and other cities is not the creation of liveable spaces, but the creation of living hells. When a person is trapped in a cycle of debt, it also can affect their subjectivity and temporal orientation to the world by making it difficult for them to imagine and plan for the future. What psychic toll does this have on residents? How does it feel to be routinely degraded and exploited [...]? [M]unicipalities [...] make it impossible for residents to actually feel at home in the place where they live, walk, work, love, and chill. In this sense, policing is not about crime control or public safety, but about the regulation of people’s lives -- their movements and modes of being in the world.

[Source: Jackie Wang. Carceral Capitalism. 2018.]

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Pacific texts do not only destabilize inadequate presents. They also transfigure the past by participating in widespread strategies of contesting linear and teleological Western time, whether through Indigenous ontologies of cyclical temporality or postcolonial inhabitations of heterogenous time. [...] Pacific temporality [can be] a layering of oral and somatic memory in which both present injustices and a longue duree of pasts-cum-impossible futures still adhere. In doing so, [jetnil-Kijiner’s book] Iep Jaltok does not defer an apocalyptic future. Instead it asserts the possibility, indeed the past guarantee, of Pacific worlds in spite of Western temporal closures. [...] In the context of US settler colonialism, Jessica Hurley has noted “the ongoing power of a white-defined realism to distinguish possible from impossible actions” [...]. In other words, certain aspects of Indigenous life under settler colonialism fall under the purview of what colonizing powers define as the (im)possible. [...] Greg Fry, writing of Australian representations of the Pacific in the 1990s, notes that the Pacific was regarded as facing “an approaching ‘doomsday’ or ‘nightmare’ unless Pacific Islanders remake themselves”. From the center-periphery model [...], only a Malthusian “future nightmare [...]” for Pacific islands seemed possible. [...] Bikini Island, where the first of 67 US nuclear tests took place from 1946 to 1958, was chosen largely because of its remoteness [...]; nuclear, economic, and demographic priorities thus rendered islanders’ lives “ungrievable” [...]. The [...] sentiment was perhaps most famously demonstrated in H*nry Kissing*r’s dismissal of the Pacific: “There are only 90,000 people out there. Who gives a damn?” [...] Such narratives were supposed to proclaim and herald the end of Pacific futures. Instead [...] Pacific extinction narratives [written by Indigenous/Islander authors] conversely testify to something like the real resilience of islanders in the face of a largely deleterious history of Euro-American encounters. More radically, they suggest the impossibility of an impossible future. Apocalypse as precedent overturns the very world-ending convention of the genre. By turning extinction into antecedent, [...] [they aspire] toward an unknown future not tied to an apocalyptic ending.

[Source: Rebecca Oh. “Making Time: Pacific Futures in Kiribati’s Migration with Dignity, Kathy Jetnil-Kijiner’s Iep Jaltok, and Keri Hume’s Stonefish.” MFS Modern Fiction Studies. Winter 2020.]

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With the machinery finally installed on the property of the Manuelita estate, Don Santiago Eder launched the first industrial production of refined white sugar in Colombia on the “first day of the first month of the first year of the twentieth century.” Such deeds, mythologized and heroic in their retelling, earned Santiago Eder respect as “the founder” and his sons as “pioneers” in the industrialization of provincial Colombia. Their enterprise [...] remained the country’s largest sugar operation for much of the twentieth century. In 1967, [...] E.P. Thompson described the evolution and internalization of disciplined concepts of time as intimately tied to the rise of wage labor in industrializing England. His famous treatise on time serves as a reminder that the rise of industrial agriculture affected a reorganization of cultural and social conceptions of time. [...]. The global ascendancy of the Manuelita model of work contracts and monoculture in the second half of the twentieth century underscores the acceleration of the Plantationocene, but the historical presence and persistence of alternative [...] time should serve as a reminder that [...] futures and the demarcation of epochs are never as simple as a neatly organized calendar.

[Source: Timothy Lorek. “Keeping Time with Colombian Plantation Calendars.” Edge Effects. April 2020.]

------------

For several weeks after midsummer arrives along the lower Kuskokwim River, even as the days begin to shorten, the long, boreal light of dusk makes for a brief night. People travel by boat [...]. When I asked an elder about the proper way to act toward Chinook salmon, he instructed me: “Murikelluku.” The Yup’ik word murilke- means not only “to watch” but also “to be attentive” [...]. Nearly fifty years ago, Congress extinguished Alaska Native tribal autonomy over [...] fishing [...]. The indifference of dominant [US government land management agency] fisheries management models to social relations among salmon and Yupiaq peoples is evocative of a mode of care that Lisa Stevenson (2014) characterizes as “anonymous.” When life is managed at the level of the population, Stevenson writes, care is depersonalized. Care becomes “invested in a certain way of being in time,” standardized to the clock, and according to the temporal terms of the caregiver, rather than in time with the subject of care herself (ibid.: 134). Stevenson identifies care at the population level as  anonymous because it focuses exclusively on survival – on metrics of life and death – rather than on the social relations that make the world inhabitable. Thus, it is not namelessness that marks “anonymous care” as  such, but rather “a way of attending to the life and death of [others]” that strips life of the social bonds that imbue it with meaning […]. At the same time, conservation, carried out anonymously, ignores not only the temporality of Yupiaq peoples’ relations with fish, but also the human relations that human-fish relations make possible. Yupiat in Naknaq critique conservation measures for disregarding  relations that ensure not only the continuity of salmon lives but also the duration of Yupiat lifeworlds (see Jackson 2013). Life is doubly negated. For Yupiaq peoples in southwest Alaska, fishing and its attendant practices are […] modes of sociality that foster temporally deep material and affective attachments to kin and to the Kuskokwim River that are constitutive of well-being [...]. As Yup’ik scholar Theresa Arevgaq John (2009) writes, cultivating relations both with ancestors and fish, among other more-than-human beings, is a critical part of young peoples’ […] development  [...]. In other words, the futures that Yupiaq peoples imagine depend on not only a particular orientation to salmon in the present, but also an orientation to the past that salmon mediate.

[Source: William Voinot-Baron. “Inescapable Temporalities: Chinook Salmon and the Non-Sovereignty of Co-Management in Southwest Alaska.” July 2019.]

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[C]oncentration of global wealth and the "extension of hopeless poverties"; [...] the intensification of state repression and the growth of police states; the stratification of peoples [...]; and the production of surplus populations, such as the landless, the homeless, and the imprisoned, who are treated as social "waste." [...] To be unable to transcend [...] the horror [...] of such a world order is what hell means [...]. Without a glimpse of an elsewhere or otherwise, we’re living in hell. [...] [P]eople are rejecting prison as the ideal model of social order. [...] Embedded in this resistance, sometimes explicitly and sometimes implicitly, is both a deep longing for and the articulation of, the existence of a life lived otherwise and elsewhere than in hell. [...] [W]hat’s in the shadow of the bottom line [...] -- what stands, living and breathing, in the place blinded from view. [...] Instincts and impulses are always contained by a system which dominates us so thoroughly that it decides when we can “have an impact” on “restructuring the world,” which is always relegated to the future. [...] “Self-determination begins at home [...].” Cultivating an instinctual basis for freedom is about identifying the longings that already exist -- however muted or marginal [...]. The utopian is not only or merely a “fantasy of” and for “the future collectivity”. It is not simply fantasmatic or otherworldly in the conventional temporal sense. The utopian is a way of conceiving and living in the here and now, which is inevitably entangled with all kinds of deformations [...]. But there are no guarantees. No guarantees that the time is right [...]; no guarantees that just a little more misery and suffering will bring the whole mess down; no guarantees that the people we expect to lead us will (no special privileged historical agents); [...] no guarantees that we can protect future generations [...] if we just wait long enough or plan it all out ahead of time; no guarantees that on the other side of the big change, some new utterly-unfathomable-but-worth-waiting-for happiness will be ours [...]. There are no guarantees of coming millenniums or historically inevitable socialisms or abstract principles, only our complicated selves together and a [...] principle in which the history and presence of the instinct for freedom, however fugitive or extreme, is the evidence of the [...] possibility because we’ve already begun to realize it. Begun to realize it in those scandalous moments when the present wavers [...]. The point is to expose the illusion of supremacy and unassailability dominating institutions and groups routinely generate to mask their fragility and their contingency. The point is [...] to encourage [...] us [...] to be a little less frightened of and more enthusiastic about our most scandalous utopian desires and actions [...], a particular kind of courage and a few magic tricks.

[Source: Avery Gordon. “Some thoughts on the Utopian.” 2016.]

[that-bookworm-guy]

Trans Rep in fiction

I took these for my Instagram (that_bookworm_guy) and thought I'd share them here as well

I've split this into two photos, so swipe to see them and the labels. But I'll make sure to include all of the labels in the image description below, and update them if there are any errors. I have included some books that I didn't enjoy because although I didn't like them, someone else might. These are all the fiction books I have with transgender rep in.

Books in order, top to bottom:

📚 Symptoms of Being Human - Jeff Garvin (Non-binary main character, Contemporary YA)

Trans Masc Representation:

📚 Trumpet - Jackie Kay (Psychological Fiction)

📚 Crimson - Niviaq Korneliussen (Contemporary)

📚 Parrotfish - Ellen Wittlinger (Contemporary YA)

📚 When we Speak of Nothing - Olumide Popoola (Contemporary YA)

📚 When the Moon was Ours - Anna-Marie McLemore (Fantasy, Magic YA)

📚 Proud - Edited by Juno Dawson (Queer Anthology)

📚 We Were Always Here - Edited by Ryan Vance & Michael Lee Richardson (Queer Anthology)

Second Photo - Books in order, top to bottom:

All books contain trans fem representation:

📚 Pet - Akwaeke Emezi (Fantasy MG/YA seems to be different age range everywhere I look, non-binary author)

📚 Wonderland - Juno Dawson (Fantasy YA, trans author)

📚 George - Alex Gino & Rick - Alex Gino (Contemporary MG, genderqueer author)

📚 FreakBoy - Kristin Elizabeth Clark (Told through verse YA)

📚 The Art of Being Normal - Lisa Williamson (Contemporary YA)

 

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and ah, its just me than. Links on tumblr break half the time for me sorry bout that!

1: Mostly how it looks in the actual episode but with some changes. Its gaint, even has multiple floors, most rooms have a glass dome roof with iron railings (3-4) lining the bottom of the glass. The hallway typically have windows leading up to the roof, but the roof and both floor are a mix of materials like iron, copper, wood, and even gold. The most complex room is the Council room, which has a a higher roof than the rest, with mostly wood railings that go all the way up and lead to a circle at the top. The Council is the group that leads Mizu, they have 1 leader of every Idol to represent the different opinions of the citizens, with 1 special member that doesnt belong to any Idol, and is instead used to represent the opinions of people who either haven't chosen a idol yet, got kicked out of a idol following, and just to give a unbiased opinion most of the time. They do make most decisions, mostly those relating to topics like construction, farming, money distribution, where people can live, etc. And they also mostly agree on most subjects and don't agure, but they do have massive disagreements on topics and problems like Representation in other Cities/Kingdoms, trading, visitors and immigrants, and sometimes supply missions. 

3: Situations like taking care of his siblings (I have decided Benjamin shall have siblings) and friends, and he was also put under extreme stress as a kid in school and family life, but unlike Ranbob, he managed to successfully communicate his struggle and find coping mechanisms. Also when he went off to live by himself for a bit, he was under sudden extreme situations where he had to make split second decision. So he just learned from everything thats happened to him over time. 

8: Levi exists purely to make Watson and others go insane. People claimed it was made up because they claimed most events as unrealistic (like Doomsday, Techno escaping a death trial, Pandoras Vault (they believed it impossible for something to be inescapable)). Plus the fact it seemed cruel such young people where faced with such trauma that no sane person would let it happen, and the fact most historical important items couldn't be found, people claiming that they where made up (also cause if the land was that exposed to such devastation, it would've collapsed on itself). No to both of those, by this point their to far away from Dream for him to have a direct meaningful affect on the group, and while the residents of Kelalen know it was Dreams sword, the group does not know. Nope! Mizu came about years after Kelalen was forgotten about and shamed. And Mizu was only made because of the growing number of believers in the SMP history was causing disruptions in both the political sense and educational sense, so it was made to separate the "outcasts". Though Mizu eventually grew as big as most cities, and greatly civilized and advanced, though they where still often "forgotten" about and basically seperate from the Kingdom that set them up and became their own place (though not officially). 

They do have a friendship! Its not super close but their definitely friends. Ranbob is definitely a worrier, he heard that two of his friends almost died he immediately goes to them and fuses over them. And when their recovering he doesnt leave their side, infact Benjamin has to drag him away from the two just to get him to eat. And he refuses to sleep unless he's like directly on top of them. Yeah, Cletus challenges Grievous to a parkour challenge over a Delta Basalt, and he happily accepts. They end up giving everyone a heart attack after Cletus slips and almost falls onto a magma block. Jackie plays in soul sand and dumps a handful down Rans shirt, Watson teaches Charles and Isaac how to make gold from gold nuggets and more Piglin culture. When Cletus is cleared to be ok and Jackie stops getting soul sand in areas he didn't even know existed. They all sit in a circle and decide what they should try first, with Ran and Watson watching carefully and preventing them from drinking anything that they recognized as harmful. But other than that they just let the others do whatever. 

10: Because he couldn't use it, when Dream was a full human he used to be able to access his powers at his own will. But after his spirit got linked to his mask his power greatly reduced. To the point he relies on others for his powers, more specifically, he needs them to be exposed to him for a certain amount of time (like 2 weeks) until he can use their own essence/spirit to help his powers. When the group of people came after Ranbob left, they stayed for a long time, especially after they took the mask with them. Dream got the power back. Cause it is a "I worked to hard to give this up." Type situation. Ranbob was his first victim and the first person he had control over in decades, he considers Ranbob the puppet he was meant to have and refuses to let him go. Everyone is the nat to him, but specifically Ran. Cause Ran was the only person who survived the murders, so Dream sees him as a kill that was taken from him that he needs to fix. Everyone else to him is nothing more than an annoyance, and he's more than happy to use them as nothing more than a stepping stone to kill once he's done with them. 

13: Ran is stronger than everyone else, Jackie is faster than everyone else, and Watson is more acrobatic than everyone else. Sorry can you reword "Is Jackie considered stronger than them aside from shared tactics, or is it the other way around?"? I dont completely understand sorry. Kind of, I'll say. There can only be 3 ranking members, but it can also be 2 Corporals and 1 Sergeant. 

14: They where caught off guard, but also knew something must be going on due to the fishermen staying closer to Ranbob than normal. He never got too far, as he isnt very fast and Charles and both Isaac tend to be fast enough to get him. If the episode is really bad bringing him back can lead into physical fights but it rarely gets into that, as it seems like Ranbob really doesn't want to fight them most of the time, and holds himself back.

Well, I hope it’s working for you now, cause that sounds less than ideal, honestly.

1: Well, Mizu sounds gorgeous, quite frankly. As for the council having a member of no idol, what about that? People can get kicked out from an idol group? Why? Do some just never choose an idol? Also, how’s the housing situation there? Are there like, apartments on one of the floors, or something? Why does the council not really agree on outside affairs?

3: Not gonna lie, I’m rather curious. What kind of life did Benjamin lead to be under such heavy stress? Does he relate to Ranbob because of this? And what was he doing when he lived on his own to need to make fast-paced decisions? Also, siblings! What’re his siblings like?

8: He sounds like it.

And hm. There are several things I’ve taken from this. 

Do totems no longer exist, if they don’t believe Techno could have survived, or did that particular piece of the story just get left out over time?

Has Pandora’s vault fallen? And why would people find it unbelievable? If it’s the future, shouldn’t they have even more advanced technology than that? Or is it simply the lack of evidence that leads them to disagreeing about it’s existence? 

They don’t believe people would have been so cruel to the younger ones? Oof, um. Well, at least that says something about the future, I guess. 

Mizu sounds like it has an interesting history in it’s self. How do Ran and Ranbob feel about being in a world that basically shunned the people of what would eventually become their home? Do they ever have issues when people find out they originate from Mizu, or worship an idol? From how you put it, it seems like that wasn’t really looked upon well, since they shunted the people who did it to Mizu.

Friendships for the win! Maybe not close, but it sounds like an interesting dynamic. Charles honestly seems pretty mild, and as you said, shy, so putting him with Mr.Random And Chaotic certainly sounds like something. How did these two become friends?

And honestly, it sounds like everyone had a lot of unique experiences in the Nether. It also sounds like Ran and Ranbob were probably an inch from a heart-attack the entire time, considering the shenanigans ongoing. It sounds kind of cute that Ranbob was only sleeping when he was close to them though, and it gives me the image of a giant fluffy cat, so win-win there.

10: Interesting. Was Ranbob not enough to fully return that power to him when the Fishermen first came and took him? Or did Dream just not think they’d get that far and not react in time, when he still had that power from his puppet?

And, uh, wow. Dream was certainly off his rocker before, but that’s definitely cemented now. Is anyone aware he thinks of Ranbob in such a way? Does Ranbob know? How are everyone’s feelings on that-besides y’know, ‘gonna murder Mr.Mask Man’. How does everyone feel about being considered as ‘nats’?

13: Huh. And yeah, I confused myself rereading that. Basically, is Jackie considered stronger than those two? You said they were mostly on par, because of the shared tactics, so when it comes to cutting those shared tactics out of the picture, does Jackie come out on top?

14: So the gang could tell? If I may ask, what were the tells that gave Ranbob away?

[dovebuffy92]

Check Out my Reservation Dogs Season 1 Review!

Reservation Dogs Season 1 created by Sterlin Harjo and Taika Waititi, is a brilliant magic realism quirky comedy about a friend group of indigenous teenagers in rural Okren, Oklahoma. The mischievous friends call themselves the Reservation Dogs.

The FX television series’ creators, directors, writers, and most of the actors are indigenous. The majority of them are descendants of North American tribes like the Muscogee, Navajo, and Anishinaabe. While Reservation Dogs shows the poverty in reservations and rural communities like Okren, it heavily features the richness and joy of this Oklahoma salt of the earth indigenous community.

My only minor issue with the first season is that actress twenty-eight-year-old Devery Jacobs, who plays teenage Elora Danan Postoak is between eight to twelve years older than her fellow co-stars. Now it’s important to remember that the first season was wrapped in July 2021. D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai and Paulina Alexis are twenty years old now but were still teenagers when filming began. Lane Factor is sixteen years old, so he is the only “age-appropriate” actor.

There is also a big difference between twenty years old and twenty-eight. However, before I give any critiques, Devery does an excellent job performing as Elora, especially in “California Dreamin,” when she finds Daniel’s (Dalton Kramer) body.

I am thrilled that the actress will now be joining the season two writer’s room. The only problem is that Elora seems like an adult who doesn’t need any parental support while the other main characters feel like teenagers.

Elora is the group’s caretaker, but she doesn’t seem like a teenager who has matured too quickly. Instead, she reads like an adult relative or family friend. Everybody else whose characters are teenagers in Reservation Dogs acts like fifteen or sixteen-year-olds who goof around.

Elora’s character core controlling behavior and coldness comes from the trauma of losing her best friend Daniel, which makes some of her “adult” behavior natural. The problem is we, as the viewers, are not worried when she runs off to California.

If Cheese (Lane Factor), Willie Jack (Paulina Alexis), or Bear Smallhill (D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai ) had taken off in a car with just their archenemy Jackie (Elva Guerra), there would be legitimate concerns since I don’t think it’s realistic that they could survive in Los Angeles on their own. With Elora, she seems like a twenty-something who might struggle a little bit living in a big city but could get everything sorted. While lack of makeup and wardrobe can make Devery look like a believable teenager, it’s not enough to erase her natural maturity. Devery’s “adult” behavior makes it hard to believe that she is a minor.

Magic Realism is weaved throughout episodes bringing humor to the series while also pointing out societal issues in the community. Okren, Oklahoma, is an average, primarily small rustic community except when Native American residents interact with the spirit realm.

There are not a lot of special effects or stylized shots that make these magical beings look otherworldly. Instead, Reservation Dogs feels rooted in the real world.

The spirit guide William Knifeman (Dallas Goldtooth) visits Bear whenever he passes out or needs some advice. The awkward Warrior utters wise counsel to Bear while swearing at his horse or eating communion waivers. The spirit guide asks questions rather than directly ordering the teenage boy around. Instead of being this stereotypical silent “noble warrior,” William Knifeman appears to be this goofy guy who happened to be at the Little Big Horn Battle. The spirit guide wants Bear and his friends to help their community rather than race off to California.

In “Come and Get Your Love,” the Deer Lady (Kaniehtiioo Horn) comes to life as a vigilante who protects women and children from abusive, violent men who hurt their community. The Deer Lady legend is a childhood story in the Cherokee, Seminole, Muscogee, and the Pawnee tribes.

She can be benign but also lures promiscuous men to their deaths. The Deer Lady usually takes the form of a beautiful woman or deer. In Reservation Dogs, the Deer Lady is a gorgeous Native American woman who wears an aviator jacket, beaded earrings, and bell-bottom jeans that hide her deer legs. The Deer Lady violently kills two White robbers who knock out a cashier and threatens Young Big’s (Bodhi Linton) life during a flashback.

After speaking to the spirit as a child, Officer Big (Zahn McClarnon) learns to be a good man who punishes criminals hurting the community rather than arresting decent people dealing with rough times. The Deer Lady warns the boy not to fall into the trap of alcoholism or become a deadbeat father. She wants Young Big to imagine his deceased grandmother is always with him to inspire him to fight evil.

If he remains a good person, he won’t see the avenging spirit again. So we are left with the impression that Big will continue to be a decent man and police officer.

I recommend Reservation Dogs Season 1 to anybody who enjoys coming-of-age comedies and wants to see work about indigenous communities created by Native American artists. So many films and television shows about indigenous communities are poverty porn that ignores the culture within these reservations or small towns. Now it’s essential to bring attention to the missing and murdered indigenous women or the high rate of teen suicides in reservations.

Sadly the world is not full of Officer Bigs or Deer Ladies who can protect these teens and women. Still, it’s also vital for young Native Americans to see positive representations of themselves.

Also, the greater public is enriched by viewing indigenous people as good sheriffs, quirky teenagers, film buffs, and community leaders rather than just “wild west” stereotypes or as drunks. Watch the whole series on Hulu!

[dr-charlie-eppes]

SHOOTING MY SHOT - A RedFinch College AU

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, @kathreestars. I was your Secret Santa as part of the @newsies-secretsanta gift exchange. 

I really hope you love your gift. It is a RedFinch College AU, as per your request. I have never written either of these things, so I hope it’s good and in character (but no promises :D!) It turned out WAY longer than expected, too :P. Oopsie daisies! 

The story begins below the cut, and I will also include a link to when I have cross-posted AO3 (sometime in January).

Please enjoy!

“Shooting My Shot” - A RedFinch College AU

0000

It was the night before Albert moved out of his childhood home and went to college. He was nervous and excited and rushing through packing his boxes. Sure, he should have done this earlier, but that didn’t matter now. Folding his last sweatshirt into a box, his mind wandered.

Tomorrow was the first day of a new chapter of his life. He was about to move to New York City to study paediatrics, starting his career as a children’s nurse. It was what he’d wanted for years; he was more than happy it was coming true. All the same, he was full of nervous energy. The next few days held so many unknowns. He was struggling to wrap his head around what was going to happen next.

A small mountain of pristine cardboard boxes, a visual representation of what mattered enough to bring with him, lay before him. Each was adorned with a great many strips of duct tape to keep them shut. He hadn’t labelled any of them since he would just unpack them the second he arrived, and he only had to open them to know what was inside. It seemed like a waste of time to go digging through his things to find a Sharpie to deface the boxes.

His phone dinged twice is quick succession. One was from Jack, letting him know he was on his way over from next door. They were travelling to college together in the morning, seeing as they had made it into the same school. The second was from Race, wishing him luck.

Race had been Albert’s best friend since kindergarten. They hadn’t spent more than about three days apart since they met, living in each other’s back pockets and practically joined at the hip for as long as anyone could remember. They had planned on going to the same school, rooming together through college. However, Race had been accepted last minute to his dream school in Brooklyn and was leaving Albert, following his passion for dance. Albert wasn’t mad, not at all; in fact, he was thrilled for his friend. Brooklyn wasn’t that far, so he was sure they’d see each other often. However, without Race, he wasn’t sure who he’d be rooming with.

Continuing to pack his boxes, Albert’s mind wandered to his roommate situation. He was, admittedly, nervous. Without Race, he would be rooming with an unknown student. By the time he’d worked that out, the deadline had passed to submit a request to be paired with someone specific; He would be added to the lottery to be paired up at random with his new roommate. He was worried about that: sharing his space with a whole stranger, stuck together in close quarters, learning to get along. What if he was paired with someone disrespectful, or homophobic, or creepy, or just plain annoying? Albert knew he could be hard to get along with, tending to mistime jokes and miss queues, rubbing people the wrong way. He could sabotage their relationship without even knowing. And even if he didn’t, that didn’t guarantee it’d be smooth sailing. They might not get along, but what could they do? They’d be stuck together for at least two semesters. Dorm rooms were sometimes roomy, but not enough to avoid each other. 

The anxiety wasn’t productive: Albert knew that. He couldn’t help it. Change was hard; he didn’t feel ready.

And Jack Kelly was not helping matters. Sure, Jack was one of his best friends - basically a brother, really - but he was an ass. He would do anything to embarrass or inconvenience Albert. That was in part due to their prank war, which had started in ninth grade when Jack replaced his gym shorts with a purple tutu and was still going strong on their first day of college. Of course, he’d never miss an opportunity to get Albert back. Nothing was sacred, no object or situation safe from Jack’s interference. All things considered, Albert should have seen this coming.

Jack offered to help him carry them to the car; there were a few, and it was already late, so Albert accepted. That was his first mistake. Jack took one look at them and started goading him. 

“You should label your boxes, Al.” He said as he picked them up.

“No.”

Then, on the landing, “How are you gonna know what’s in ‘em? It’ll be a pain to unpack.”

“I know what I packed, Jack.”

“They look naked without labels.” He whined as they walked out the front door.

“Shut up.”

They started to load them into the car, slotting them in the trunk with the lightest ones on top. 

“What kind of psychopath just puts their stuff in a box and closes it up?” Jack questioned with an edge of challenge.

Albert rolled his eyes, taking a medium sized box - possibly containing his desk lamp - and stacking it on top of the others.

“This ain’t a pass-the-parcel, Al, you’re allowed to know what’s in the box.” 

“If you don’t shut up, Jackie, so help me, you’ll be trying to run without kneecaps.”

The seemingly endless prods and pokes continued as they loaded all his unlabelled boxes into the car. Jack continued his stream of nonsense, his arguments devolving into snipes and jabs. Albert shut the trunk forcefully, fixing Jack with a look.  

“I ain’t labelling ‘em,” he stated with finality, “I know what I packed, and I’ll just unpack when I get there. If they ain’t labelled, Ma can reuse the boxes for something else later without having to scratch the writing out. It’s just easier.”

Jack gave him an unconvinced look but shrugged and let it go. Al should’ve known that was suspicious. Jack never could back down from an argument. Why would this one have been any different?

His second mistake was leaving the car unlocked. They lived in a good area; there wasn’t any reason to lock it. Besides, who would want to steal a bunch of blank boxes full of sweatshirts and towels? However, this turned out to be his downfall. The lock was the only barrier between Jack and his boxes, the last defence. Without needing to steal Al’s mom’s keys, there was nothing standing in his way. He was free to wreak havoc on his things.

His third mistake was not checking his boxes in the morning. They were in a hurry to get on the road - which was not unusual - so Al planned ahead and double checked everything when he brought the boxes down. He knew he had everything he needed, saving time in the morning. Without those last minute checks, he had no chance of catching Jack's little prank before they arrived at the campus. 

Jack hadn’t let on that anything had happened. Crammed in the back seat, surrounded by his own boxes and bags, he appeared to the world perfectly angelic. Well, as angelic as Jack Kelly could be. In truth, he was the same snarky and sarcastic man he’d always been, cracking jokes like normal. Albert had no reason to suspect a thing.

So you could imagine his shock and regret when he lifted the trunk to find his boxes, all labelled in Jack’s scratchy block letters with obscene and embarrassing labels. Roadkill - California to Texas. Grandma’s ashes - This way up! (Decorated with arrows pointing to the bottom of the box, naturally). Meditation CDs - Pokémon, Ru Paul, My Little Pony. And right on the top, the Crown Jewels of Jack Kelly’s mayhem: Dildos - Size M-XL.

It was hard to embarrass Albert - it really was. He’d spent his high school years being tormented and humiliated by Jack and had grown a tolerance for this kind of thing. Carrying a box labelled ‘dildos’ across campus was far from the worst thing he’d ever had to do. However, he did worry about what his roommate might think. If he was worried about being paired with a weirdo, others must be too. This was one of those first impressions you couldn’t take back. Joy of joys.

Undeterred, he grabbed the box and braced for impact. Making his way swiftly and unashamedly to his dorm, he ignored the stares and snickers of his peers. Look at my box of dildos, folks. Take it in. They could have guessed that this was a prank, but the surprise of it still caught most of them off guard. Albert pressed on through the crowds, rolling his eyes.

If they can’t tell that this is a joke, then they ain’t smart enough for college.

He just hoped his roommate could see the humour in it.

Speaking of his roommate, he rounded the final corner with his package. The door was slightly ajar, and he could see shadows moving under the door. Taking one final, bracing breath, Albert shuffled the box onto his forearm and pushed the door, embracing his fate.

A trick of timing, the universe’s cruel joke, caused Albert to enter the doorway at the precise moment that his new roommate fired a sticky dart from his Nerf gun. The dart shot through the air. It travelled with a great deal more speed than it should, zipping through the room. No doubt it would have continued into the hall had the doorway been empty. However, it was stopped by Albert’s moving box, adhering at the dead centre of the “O” in dildos.

All movement and sound stopped as Albert looked eyes with his new roommate.

What a first impression.

0000

Moments earlier, Finch had been alone in his dorm. The last few weeks had been a blur of emotions, and he was trying to wrap his mind around it before his new roommate arrived. His first impressions were often lacking, and he hoped that he could start out this relationship on the right foot.

His decision to come to this school had been rushed. Life had spiralled out of control, leaving bad blood between him and his folks. He got an offer to move here to Manhattan, far from them, and he jumped on it. His new life was stretched out in front of him. King of his own destiny, he surveyed his territory. And sure, a cramped college dorm room that he had to share with a stranger wasn’t much of a kingdom. But the hum of the radiator sounded like freedom, and the carpet was soft. He could learn to be happy here.

He was already unpacked, all three of his boxes piled up in the corner. In his hand, he held six plastic Nerf targets. He’d bought them at the dollar store in the ninth grade, using sharpshooting as an escape from life. Since then, his skills had grown, and he frequently moved them around to give himself more of a challenge. Mapping the room, he weighed his options. He was, of course, limited to his side of the room, which made it harder to place them in a way that would challenge him. Still, he was resourceful. And maybe his new friend - he really hoped they would get along - might let him spread them around a bit.

There was one classic place, though. In all the time he’d had these targets, one place stayed constant. He went and hung the first bullseye at the dead centre of the door on the inside. He could hit it with his eyes closed, in his sleep, or with his hands tied behind his back, but he didn’t care. The target on the door had been the most stable relationship he’d had in years, always there, always within reach.

He dumped the rest of the targets on his bed, liberating his Nerf gun from his backpack. It had been his first, and it was the favourite of his whole collection. Modelled like a sawed-off shotgun, it was easy to aim and familiar. He’d carried it with him everywhere since he’d gotten it. This little green and orange eyesore was practically an extra limb, an extension of Finch himself. He’d gotten more high-power guns since, ones that could throw darts faster than he could blink, but he loved this one the best. 

Loading in a sticky dart, he aimed for the door and pulled the trigger.

In a statistically remarkable series of events, someone pushed the door open at the precise moment he pulled the trigger. They got in the path of the dart, the new target of the shot. Thankfully, the person was carrying a box - otherwise, they would have been hit square in the chest; not exactly a great first impression. The dart, however, sailed gracefully through the room and stuck to the stranger’s box with a satisfying sticking noise. It lined up perfectly with the writing on the box, centred in the middle of one of the letters. If he’d been aiming for it, Finch would have been impressed with his shot. As it stood, he wasn’t sure how to respond.

Bullseye, I guess.

0000

Both men stood, frozen in time. All the sound had been sucked from the room, leaving only a thick silence. Neither was sure what to do to break it. Albert wanted speak - he really did. Wanted to laugh, introduce himself, settle in. However, his mouth was dry, and any words died before they could reach his throat, all systems at a standstill. He couldn’t even walk through the door for fear he would break the spell.

Why? Well, the man in front of him - his new roommate, the one holding the Nerf gun - was insanely hot.

He looked like a Renaissance painting. Classically beautiful, without being plain. A long thin face that reminded Albert distantly of a horse, smooth angles that caught the light and held it. Bright pearlescent teeth and unnaturally brown eyes. He looked as if he had stolen the light from the sun, soaking in its warmth and making it his own. All his brightness and sharpness was contrasted with his soft, green sweatshirt and bare feet, the picture of domesticity. All of it was at odds with the keenness of his shot, the Nerf gun still aimed dangerously at Albert’s chest. Nonetheless, every inch of him was beautiful.

Of all the things he’d been afraid of, falling in love with his roommate was the least expected.

He was suddenly a lot more worried about his first impression.

0000

He needn’t have worried: because on the opposite side of the dorm, the same things were going through Finch’s head.

Finch had always been a sucker for a redhead; the man in front of him, with his strikingly fiery curls, was no exception. Every line of his face was beautiful - from the creases around his eyes to his goofy grin. His eyes were a sweet brown, like Nutella or hot cocoa, deep and inviting. They caught the light like a Pokémon trainer catches them all. His lips were pulling slowly out of a grin into a shocked gape. Even in his confusion, he was breathtaking. His arms cradled his moving box like Cupid cradles his bow - invitingly and full of undiscovered love. His legs were obviously strong, judging by the way his jeans were stretched over them. 

Finch couldn’t move or breathe or look away. He needed to lower his Nerf gun, introduce himself and explain, something, anything. Instead, he stood, transfixed and in awe. If this man were the moon, then Finch were the tides - unable to move without his say-so. His every thought was directed by this beautiful stranger.

His new roommate. 

His roommate.

His.

That snapped him out of it. 

0000

The beautiful stranger cleared this throat.

“Sorry!”

“Nice shot,” whispered Albert.

The stranger smiled, brushing the back of his neck. He spoke again.

“Uh, hi?”

Albert nodded. That was exactly what he’d been trying to say. 

“Hi.”

A moments more of silence settled around them. Neither was entirely sure how to come back from that introduction, and both were too transfixed by the other to risk saying the wrong thing.

Albert eventually found his courage. Shuffling his moving box onto one arm, he extended his hand in greeting.

“I’m Albert.”

Tossing his Nerf gun to his bed, the stranger followed suit.

“Patrick, but the guys back home called me Finch.”

“Why 'Finch'?” Albert asked.

“I put a bird in the principal’s office 'cause he was homophobic,” the boy - Finch - shrugged, “It’s my greatest achievement to date.” 

Albert didn’t know if he could fall more in love than he was already. His heart felt like it might explode. This adorable, Nerf-gun shooting, homophobe-hating man was all he could think about. He was distantly aware that he needed to bring his stuff in from the car, needed to put down the dildo box and unpack, but he was happy just standing in the doorway watching Finch.

However, his standing was misinterpreted by his new crush, who suddenly smacked his forehead and stepped to the side.

“Oh, sorry, I’m totally blocking the way. Come in.” He swept his hands to the side like a waiter, ushering Albert in.

He took his chance, stepping in and putting his box on the empty bunk. It tipped merrily onto one side, revealing another of Jack’s secret messages. Albert flopped his head back with a groan. Finch caught sight of the new scribble as well. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

Albert excused himself to get the rest of his boxes from the car, but also so he could get some fresh air. Finch was beautiful and badass. He was unlike any other guy Albert had met. If he blew his chance with him, well, he’d never forgive himself. He might be getting ahead of himself, but he kept wondering what Finch might look like in a tux and what song their first dance would be to. His mom had always called him a hopeless romantic, so had Jack. He was inclined to agree. He loved the idea of falling in love and marrying his favourite person ever, having a husband to share life’s moments with. And yeah, he’d only known Finch for ten minutes, but every fibre of his being seemed to think this guy was the perfect candidate. 

He daydreamed all the way back to the dorm, trying to think of something charming to say to Finch. A pickup line? Or maybe some poetry. Where was Jack when you needed him? That man could charm the pants off of anyone. Although, from memory, he and Davey met when Jack accidentally tipped his paint water out over the art room balcony and all over Davey’s head. 

As he stepped through the door of his dorm, he took a breath and prepared to ask Finch out. However, his new roommate was already speaking, pointing at the box on his bed.

“Okay, I gotta ask-“

“-It’s not dildos, I swear,” Albert cut him off.

“-who defaced your box?”

“Oh.” Wasn’t expecting that. “Um, Jack. Pain in my ass.”

Finch nodded, snickering, and gestured the box in Albert’s arms. This one read TIME MACHINE - DISASSEMBLED. 

“So is he ya boyfriend or something?”

“Oh, fuck no.” Albert laughed - imagine him dating Jack, yuck - and clarified, “He’s sorta my brother? Lived next door to me and my Ma. He’s just up the hall now, helping Davey unpack.”

“Davey?”

“Jack’s boyfriend,” Albert shrugged. He wondered what Davey saw in Jack but decided not to think too hard. Davey was a least twice as smart as Albert would ever be; he would have his reasons. He expressed this to Finch, who laughed and offered a similar anecdote about a friend called Spot who was dating some extroverted Manhattan twink with a sarcastic streak a mile wide. 

“They’re perfect for each other because no one can understand them,” Finch smiled, “the peanut butter and jelly of people.”

They continued to laugh and talk about their friends, bonding over their weird friends with weirder names. 

Albert ducked out for more boxes. He moved every crass title from his car to his dorm, unpacking them as he went to discover their real contents. Finch offered the help him carry them back to his mom’s car when they were empty.

On the way, he asked about Jack’s prank again.

“So, Jack’s a prankster?”

Albert nodded, “Yeah, we’ve had a prank war going since the ninth grade.”

“War, huh?” Finch raised an eyebrow. “How you’re gonna get him back?”

“No idea yet, but it’s gonna be big.”

Finch was sure that it would be. He told Albert as such.

“Let me know if you’ll be wanting help,” he smiled, playfully elbowing his ribs, “I’m a sharpshooter, after all.”

Albert wasn’t sure how that would come in handy, but he filed it away for later use.

0000

In their first week together, they circled around each other, teasing and testing. It was an easy tension of learning each other’s habits and personalities.

As it turned out, Finch was a troublemaker. With his keen eye and trained aimed, he and his Nerf gun could wreak all kinds of havoc. Albert found himself stuck with more darts than he’d ever seen. He learned to listen for the quiet ‘snick’ sound of the gun being loaded, hyper aware of the bright orange darts as they landed around him. 

Finch used his talents for good, sometimes, shooting bananas off the hand with a carefully modified ‘knife dart’ - which turned out to be a Nerf dart with a straightened out paper clip in it. He could also switch the lights off from his bunk with one flick of the trigger. Both were pretty cool tricks, but Al found himself loving Finch’s cheeky moves more.

He had returned to the dorm after class to find that Finch had used his posters as target practice, using strategically placed darts to block out certain letters and leave crude messages for him. The next day, he was greeted with a flurry of darts as he entered the room, Finch raining down on him with his most quick-firing gun. He also left Albert notes on the dorm door, where anyone could read them - thanks for letting me borrow your toothbrush! and Adam from the butt-lift place called - they can fix your pancake butt! and Where’s the haemorrhoid cream?

Albert loved it. In return, he reset Finch’s ringtones to weird and embarrassing sounds and short-sheeted his bed. He also stole Finch’s hats and sweatshirts, basically combining their wardrobes into one mega-wardrobe. He also replaced all of Finch’s stationery with sticks of gum, which turned out to be less of a prank and more of a genius ice-breaking hack. 

They grew closer. All the pranks led to them getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes, their insecurities and routines. The more Albert learnt, the more he wanted to know. Finch was becoming his best friend. The crush he was nursing grew into a warm and unexplainable thing. Each passing day brought new moments of friendship and growth. Finch challenged him, distracted him, entertained him. He was bright and annoying, glued to his hip like a loyal puppy and floating around him. Albert grew to love his company, loved how he would ask questions while you studied - that was more helpful than he could have known, helping Albert to identify the gaps in his knowledge. Finch was the puzzle piece he had been missing.

Finch felt the same, although Albert didn’t know that. He loved the way that Albert would respond to his cheek and snark with jibes of his own. Albert enjoyed his pranks and put thought and time into retaliating. He was quieter than Finch, happy to just share the room with you without needing conversation to fill the void. He seemed to light up when Finch asked him questions, explaining the complex medical topics he was learning. He was full of adrenaline and grace, not often static. Finch found himself following Albert’s movements when he paced, drawn in. Albert was his muse. He couldn’t get enough of the beautiful redhead.

0000

At the opening of their second week, Albert returned to their dorm with a twinkle in his eye and a bagel in his hand. Finch, with Nerf gun in hand, shot a dart into the hole of the bagel.

“You!” Pointed Albert.

“Me?” Questioned Finch playfully.

“How would you like to help me get back at Jack?”

Finch nodded, “I’m in. What’s the play?”

As it turned out, Jack had planned a secret date for Davey. They hadn’t had a lot of time since coming to college, so Jack wanted to do something nice. He’d told Albert that he and Davey were going to have a picnic on the sports fields in the evening. Super romantic, at least it was supposed to be. 

“I want to crash their party,” explained Albert, “but I need your help.”

He then explained that they needed a way to get in and out fast. If they lingered, Jack’s wrath would rain down upon them. Speed is of the element, Finchy, Albert had said. Luckily, Albert had become sort-of friends with one of the security guards. This guard, Denton, agreed to ‘accidentally’ leave the keys in one of the school’s golf carts for their use. As long as they returned it in one piece, no one would be the wiser. 

“Where do I come in, Al?” 

“I want you to get your best Nerf gun -one o’ those ones that shoot really fast. While I'm driving, I want you to spray ‘em with darts. I got some toilet paper to throw. I just didn’t think that was enough. Plus, you’ve got a wicked sense of aim. I could use a little help.”

It was a solid plan. Like Jack’s box prank, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. Albert assured him Davey would think it was funny too. He was almost as much a part of the war as Jack or Albert. If anything, he'd take it as an invitation to get his own revenge. No one’s day’s gonna be ruined. 

“I’m your guy,” smiled Finch, “when do we start.”

“We ride at six. Wear something stealthy.”

0000

Six o'clock rolled around quickly. Finch had ducked out to the dollar store, picking up some more sticky darts. When he returned, he found Albert. His crazy roommate was dressed like a cartoon cat-burglar, complete with a black turtleneck and war paint. He was hastily stuffing toilet rolls into his backpack. They were armed to the teeth with Nerf darts, toilet paper, and biodegradable party confetti. 

“Looking good, Al,” laughed Finch.

He was also dressed for the occasion, a mismatched all-black ensemble. He even opted for some fingerless gloves he saw at the store. He had never been one to half-ass a prank. Besides, going all out might impress Albert. 

“Ready?” 

“Born ready, Finch.”

“Funny, I thought you were born ‘Albert.’”

A roll of toilet paper hit him in the head.

0000

The plan was in motion.

Denton had left the cart parked by the dormitories. They were set to go, just waiting for confirmation that Jack was in position. Sure enough, Davey posted a sappy picture on his Snapchat story, toting Jack’s merits as a caring boyfriend. They were clearly on the sports field, spread out on an honest-to-goodness checked rug, picnic basket and all. The sunset painted pastel lines behind them.

As the light of sunset faded to night, they started up the cart. Crammed in with the ammo and a truly gigantic nerf gun, Albert and Finch were pressed into each other’s sides. Unbeknownst to them, both were enjoying the contact, pining for more than just the necessary contact of the cart. They drove at agonisingly slow speeds towards the sports fields, staying in the cover of the shadows of the campus. If they were caught, it would all be over. Luckily, the pair thrived on adrenaline.

Their trip to the sports fields was short and silent. Albert couldn’t help but hold his breath as if the sound of it might give their location away. It didn’t occur to him that the sounds of the cart would get them caught before his breathing would. Finch kept directing him with hand signals, guiding the cart through a maze of secret tunnels that kept them hidden.

Eventually, the great secrecy of it all got the better of them. Albert could picture them, both dressed like the bad guys in a cartoon spy movie, zooming through the campus with reckless abandon. They weren’t going fast at all - he thought it might not even bruise if he fell out of the cart. But here they were, leaning and ducking with each move as if they were in a Fast and Furious movie. Finch was holding onto the roof to stabilise himself. They were surrounded be a hoard of completely harmless weapons, yet they acted as if they were heading into a war. That last thought, along with the image of what they must look like, cause Albert to giggle. 

Once.

Twice.

A snort.

Then Finch started. 

Their silent voyage was overrun with laughter. Finch was shaking, trying to contain his sounds. Albert was hiccuping out barks of laughter. The noise grew until it drowned out the hum of engines. Try as they might, there was no stopping it. Tears filled Albert’s eyes. Finch took hold of the wheel and directed the cart as he snorted. They continued on, the most joyful caravan in the country. They couldn’t stop their noise until they saw the sports fields.

It was a bracing and sobering experience. Two weeks of thinking and planning had led them to this. The importance of their mission overcame their joy. They pulled their adrenaline back in, the noise level dropping below the noise of the cart. It was time.

The light from the fake tea light candles on the rug guided them. A moment of quiet and a few hand gestures revealed that there would be no way to sneak up on them. The cart was too big, the moon too bright. The element of surprise would be lost too quickly if they approached cautiously. Albert made the motion for ‘step on it’, pressing his palm out in front of him. Finch nodded. Mouthing the words, Albert counted down from three. He threw the golf cart into gear, shredding across the lawn at max speed.

The pickup in speed caused them both to shout. Any semblance of sneaking in was abandoned as Albert and Finch began a deafening war cry of whooping and cheering. They bounced across the field, the cart shaking with effort. One hand on the wheel, Albert loaded himself with a roll of toilet paper. Finch aimed his Nerf scope, fixed on the happy couple.

Jack caught sight of them too late. 

“ALBERT!”

A shower of Nerf darts cut off his cries. Albert hit him square in the chest with a roll of paper. Davey, shocked and excited, burst out gleefully at the shower of multicoloured confetti, picking up handfuls and tossing them at his boyfriend.

The drive-by took only a few seconds. There was chaos as they unloaded all they had at Albert’s friends. It would long be remembered as the highlight of the whole prank war. The picnic rug, previously set out romantically with breadsticks and candles, was now littered with darts and rolls of paper and a sprinkling of reflective paper strips. It was glorious. Strangely, it looked like the leftover mess from a child’s birthday party. In Albert’s eyes, this was perfect revenge.

“That’s for the boxes, Kelly!” He screamed as they sped off.

The cart barrelled across the fields and out of sight, leaving Jack and Davey in its wake. The boys, happy with their successful mission, tore off into the night in fits of giggles once more. They didn’t stop until they were well out of sight. Only when they had pulled the cart to a stop outside the security office did they finally calm down.

Pressed close and sweating awfully, they breathed through the rush of adrenaline. The whole evening had come to a crescendo. They both smiled, calming down.

“That was awesome,” Albert laughed, “Thank you, Finchy.”

Finch slung an arm around him, “Always, Al.”

They stayed intertwined for a second. Albert liked the feel of being so close to Finch, tucked into his chest safe and warm. He didn’t want to pull away, but he was becoming more aware of how close they were. This was closer than friends. He was sure Finch knew that.

Pulling back, he looked to his roommate. 

“Finch?”

“Hmm?”

He took a deep breath. It was now or never. He was going to say something.

“Would ya like it if we-“

He was cut off by Finch’s lips on his. 

Oh, yeah, let’s do that.

His brain went offline, surprised by the kiss. Finch’s lips were dry from the cold night air but soft and cool against his own. He could feel the flush of Finch’s cheeks. He gasped through his noise - a noise of shock and approval.

Finch pulled back as he tried to reciprocate. He looked him cautiously in the eyes.

“I sure hope I didn’t read that wrong.”

Albert chuckled. He pulled him in by the shirt, nearly tipping Finch out of the cart with his enthusiasm. This kiss was perfect. Longer and deeper than the other, they were chest to chest by the end. They weren’t yet used to this motion, so their chins and noses bumped as they moved, prompting little giggles between their lips. It was the happiest kiss Albert had ever had. Finch was warm and close and all his for a few moments.

Finch bit his nip with a mock growl, pulling back to smile at him. Albert looked flushed and overwhelmed. However, the smile that split his face betrayed his emotions.

“I hope that’s my last first kiss ever,” Finch whispered.

Albert looked shocked, but his smile didn’t fade. 

“Okay,” he nodded.

They tumbled out of the cart a minute later. They knew that wasn’t the end of it. Finch was sure he wanted to marry Albert, but there was more to do. They needed to get to know each other more and finish college and meet each other’s families. They weren’t at the end yet, but this was a damn good place to start. 

They walked back to the dorm with hands intertwined. No matter what happened next, Albert knew this was the start of a beautiful life.

0000

He was right, too. He and Finch got married six years later, after college. Never had there been a better couple, better friends, or better lovers. They had grown into the most badass and unstoppable team.

They drove away from their wedding with cans tied to the back of a golf cart.

0000

Again, happy holidays and seasons greetings, @kathreestars. Hope this is everything you hoped for. Best wishes, Corbin.

[letterboxd]

Chadwick.

Adam Davie pays tribute, as a viewer, to the “immense power” of Chadwick Boseman’s body of work, which features “portrayals of Black life that are true to our experience”.

“I just want to tell stories that expand people’s minds, and about who we are in the world,” Chadwick Boseman told GQ in 2018. This is how I will remember him. This is who he really was. The 43-year-old star of films such as 42, Get on Up, Black Panther and 21 Bridges (which he also produced) was more than just an actor. He was someone who was perpetually committed to positive representation, inclusive storytelling, and portraying Black excellence on screen.

He was rarely a character actor—since his mainstream breakthrough in 42 he almost always played the lead—but he was definitely someone whose character informed his choice of roles. These parts led to empathetic and intimate performances, which then informed us as viewers as we watched him battle foes both systemic and supernatural for the greater good.

As Jackie Robinson in ‘42’ (2013).

Boseman’s death on August 28, 2020, to colon cancer, is another cruel blow for humanity as we navigate a deadly pandemic, escalating racial tensions within the United States, and a multitude of other global challenges that threaten our security and posterity. In a day and age when, literally and figuratively, the United States has its knee on the necks of Black Americans, to lose such a great man who was committed to fighting these culture wars through the medium of film is a huge blow for those who appreciated his talents and his activism. It’d be tempting to say that he only played a superhero in the movies. But his performances are buoyed by his off-screen words and deeds, which emphatically demonstrate his commitment to elevating his people through on-screen performances.

“You’re a strong, Black man in a world that conflicts with that strength, that really doesn’t want you to be great,” Boseman told The New York Times’ Reggie Ugwu in 2019. “So what makes you the one who’s going to stand tall?” As an actor, he was always mindful of how Black men were portrayed and perceived in the media. And because of this, he carefully and convincingly carved out a niche for himself as someone who was determined to offer a broader spectrum of Black images and stories. In an era when Black athletes are being told to shut up and dribble, Boseman chose to take on the role of Jackie Robinson in 42 (2013).

As James Brown in ‘Get on Up’ (2014).

For Robinson, shutting up and dribbling (or swinging, in Robinson’s case) was the only option. And in this starring role, Boseman fit like a glove, portraying a man who carried the weight of a generation of Black ballplayers on his shoulders. While portraying the man who broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball, Boseman delivered a performance of quiet strength. It mirrored Robinson’s own commitment to non-aggression amid the threats he faced.

As you watch the film and learn more about the man, you come to realize that you’re not watching someone imitate Jackie Robinson. You’re watching someone step into the shoes of a man with whom he shared similar values. Because of this, the performance and the emotional impact of the film carries immense power. This impact was duplicated in much of Boseman’s later work.

With Teresa Palmer in ‘Message from the King’ (2016).

Over the years, Boseman continued to challenge himself with further roles portraying historical and iconic figures. And there was never a role that was too weighty for the Howard-educated, Oxford-trained actor. Before “Black Lives Matter” became the phrase of the moment, he was already informing an industry and an audience that—if they didn’t know already—he was Black and proud of it, as he portrayed the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, in 2014’s Get on Up.

As our broader culture continues to criminalize Black men from the womb to the tomb, Boseman chose to take on the role of eventual Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, telling, in Marshall (2017), the story of a man who was committed to the rule of law while also dismantling systems of oppression that unjustly and disproportionately impacted Black men and women in America.

As Thurgood Marshall in ‘Marshall’ (2017).

And when certain individuals—such as the current president of the United States—referred to our place of origin (Africa) as “shithole countries”, while also telling certain Americans to “go back…” to the “places from which they came”, Boseman and Ryan Coogler gave us a destination worth yearning for with 2018’s Black Panther.

I created my Black Life in Film list because I was fed up with my inability to locate a catalog of films that properly represented the Black experience, both in the US and abroad. In the four years I have been adding to the list (and its many genre spin-offs), Boseman has been out there, reinforcing its existence, by creating and starring in roles that have given me the uplifting depictions that I and so many others craved. He used his God-given talents to provide portrayals of Black life that are true to our experience, and he never, ever, wavered from that commitment.

With Lupita Nyong’o and Letitia Wright in ‘Black Panther’ (2018).

Given his acting chops and dynamic personality, Boseman could’ve easily chased the fast bucks while in Hollywood. But instead, he decided to carry the weight of his country’s history, oftentimes its original sins, throughout his life in Hollywood. And he never backed down from the responsibility that came with this challenge. It’s a burden that not too many can shoulder, but Boseman never saw it that way. It was always a blessing; an opportunity to showcase not just the best that Black America had to offer, but the best that America had to offer as well. Because his story and the story of Black resilience, innovation and heroism is the story of America too.

We are so fortunate to have the long-lasting power of cinema. Even though he’s gone, Chadwick Aaron Boseman’s legacy will live on through the timely and dignified body of work he left behind.

—Adam Davie

As Stormin’ Norman in ‘Da 5 Bloods’ (2020).

As well as his acting career, Chadwick Boseman also directed two shorts: ‘Heaven’ and ‘Blood Over a Broken Pawn’. In his final role, he plays trumpeter Levee, alongside Viola Davis as Ma Rainey, in the forthcoming Netflix adaptation of August Wilson’s play ‘Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom’.

[totallypathet]

Episode Nine

Is it just me, or is anyone else less of a Jeff Goldblum fan after that show? Very bizarre. Speaking of bizarre, can we talk about Roople's wardrobe this season? Theres been a few looks I've absolutely hated, but that look he wore on the main stage was actually heinous. I mean honestly, what is he spending that fracking money on? Bc it ain't wardrobe, hair or makeup.

Let's chat quickly about the mini challenge as well. Remember when mini challenges were fun, light entertainment sketches instead of straight up advertisements? Greed ain't a good look Roop.

The main challenge this week was a really great concept. It worked well in season 4 (except for PhiPhi, but that's to be expected), it makes sense to bring it back for another election year. I also think it was a great choice to bring it back this year, it opens the door for really important political conversations - like the struggles of being LGBT+ in conservative states, being black or a POC in the US in general, being an immigrant... I'm so glad that the space was given for the queens (Widow and Jackie in particular) to have those conversations. However, I think there was too many queens to make that debate coherent. They didn't give it enough time, the editing was bizarre, and it was really tough to follow what was actually happening and who did well/didn't do well.

All that said, let's jump into the breakdown...

1. Crystal Methyd

Crystal makes me proud every week, and this week was no exception! She just jumps from strength to strength and I love her more and more each week! Her debate was pretty good, I love that she really leant into the drag aspect, and (obviously) her mullet, and she made me laugh! I enjoyed her. And her loooooook on the runway!! She was giving me lifeee, I just absolutely loved it! I didn't get what carson was saying about it being too much at all - it was very Alyssa Edwards, like it should be too much but it just works. The hat, with the blue hair, and her make-up, I loved all of it. Great night for Crystal!

2. Gigi Goode

Gigi suffered from the edit I think this week. I get that she was going for this robotic character, but she didn't really get the time to build, it was too fast paced. But also I definitely get what the judges were saying, she's clearly not very politically engaged, which is a shame. I think in these times we all have to be a little bit politically aware - I'm not saying you have to know every detail and get news alerts every 5 seconds, but you just have to know a bit, yknow? I'm not even American and I feel like I probably know US politics better than Gigi does.

Also, we've seen the robotic character before. Show us something new.

I didn't live for her runway either. It seemed like a less good version of her entrance look. It felt lazy somehow, and I just wonder if Widow had worn it would the judges have gagged over it so much? Or did it only work bc Gigi is a skinny white queen? I dont know. I think Gigi should have been lip syncing this week - but I guess the producers know they can't pit her against Widow because Widow would wipe the floor with her.

I feel like Gigi is coasting, and it's a shame. She's better than this. I wonder if maybe she might have needed another couple of years just to really solidify her star power.

3. Heidi N Closet

The thing that confused me most about Heidi this week was that in the work room she had that really great slogan "no more closets" that she was toting, then she didn't say it once in the challenge? I didn't get it. Regardless, I thought Heidi was great in the challenge! She looked the part, she gave me that conservative Southern Belle character with her (literal) pearl clutching, I enjoyed it. She looked like she was having fun, and that's my favourite thing on this show; when I watch a queen have fun, I have fun. Loved it.

Her look on the runway was cute, she did the assignment, she looked great. It wasn't particularly creative, but I enjoyed it. Really strong night for Heidi.

4. Jackie Cox

Jackie was so so so important this week. Of course, as Persian LGBT+ representation, she's always important, but this week really opened the door for her to delve deeper into her story, and talk about how important it is to be politically aware, how affected immigrant families are under Tr*mp's presidency, how affected Muslims are, the importance of voting, what the word "American" means... so so so important. I'm so glad she told her story, and I'm so proud of her for representing her heritage.

Having said that, she wasn't great in the debate. I thought the Canadian thing was funny, but it didn't develop, it just sort of flat lined. And it was a shame, because she fully looked the campaign trail part.

Her runway look was perfect. It was so powerful, and so beautiful, and it will have touched so many LGBT+ muslims around the world.

5. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida was so good this week. I loved her character in the main challenge, it was so absurd that it was just hilarious! And she managed it being absurd and funny on the top layer, and underneath was this perfect satire and cynicism. And she was so quick! So witty! And she looked like she was having so much fun. I remember I said a few weeks ago that I felt a little bit disconnected from Jaida, but this week i felt like we were just seeing pure Jaida. She was just enjoying herself and I related to her so much. I was so happy watching her this week. She fully deserved her win.

However. I hated her runway. I dont know why! I just really hated it. Her hair and makeup was beautiful (of course!) but that outfit was just... I don't know, it confused me. Maybe that was the point, maybe it was an extension of her character in the challenge and I just didn't get that!

6. Widow Von Du

I'm so sad about Widow. I absolutely adore her, she was one of my absolute favourites from the beginning; watching her go right after Jan was so hard.

I do think she deserved to be in the bottom, which is kind of shitty because she didn't do a bad job at all! It's just that she wasn't that funny, and we all know that that's the trick to this show. She really looked the part, and she had some jokes, I just wonder if she was off rhythm because she was so tired. And then as soon as she got frustrated on the runway, we knew it was all she wrote. Which is also shitty! She was frustrated, and she had every right to be! It seemed like she couldn't do right in front of the judges. I felt like she was just airing her feelings and expressing her emotions. I don't know why the judges are so opposed to that on the main stage. Like it seems to be fine when they just demurely cry, but as soon as they have something to say about the critiques, no matter how valid it is, they get bashed for "not taking constructive feedback". I dont like that - she's upset, she should be allowed to be upset. If you dont like it that much, cut it out in the edit, but damn she's allowed to have feelings.

Also I loved her look this week. So powerful, so important, so beautiful.

I just hope she knows how incredible she is, and is able to recognise how great her work was throughout the show.

I do have a couple of other things to say about this episode (me? Have opinions? Unheard of!).

First of all, Jeff Goldblum was way out of line talking about Islam being homophobic/sexist. Jackie was making an important statement about how important representation is, and it was totally inappropriate to turn that into a religious debate. I do think it's so important to talk about LGBT+ rights and womens rights globally, but it's also really important to distinguish between culture and religion. And even more important to recognise the difference between governmental culture and social culture. It's an incredibly nuanced topic, and he clearly isn't well informed. To be honest though, even if he hadn't said it the way he said it; he shouldn't have been talking over her about issues that directly affect her. The whole thing was inappropriate. At worst, it was racist/islamophobic, at best it was tone deaf and misjudged.

Secondly, let's all just take a moment to think about how this episode dealt with politics, politically charged subjects and patriotism; and how interesting it is that the two queens who chose to represent black and Muslim empowerment were in the bottom two. Just something to think about.

[shaunaussy]

jackie taylor is NOT a top. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Your Tears in My Dreams (DamiJon) Part : 2/2

Rating : General Audiences 

Summary :

His best friend always has that smile. Bright and refreshing like a can of cold soda on a hot and humid summer. But one day, when they were walking down the halls to class. Jon stopped, and for once in Damian life, he saw Jon cried. —- Dick cleared his throat, his darting eyes finally landed on his jade eyes, “Why do you want to know now?” “Curiosity,” Damian shrugged, “I’ve never seen him cried before, that was the only time he did and I forgot why he did.” “You think it’s your fault?” “That’s what I’m trying to find out.”

Inspired by this beautiful art of Jon crying and Damian not knowing what to do by @glitter-dc

Read on AO3

Click Keep Reading to read on Tumblr.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Word count : 6k

Four days of tedious meetings with Wayne Enterprise later, Damian has finally done his duty as the League of Al-Ghul’s representation.

Now, he’s on the front gate of Kent’s farm and walking down the dirt path to the front door. The house is a typical American farmhouse. Everything is the same except the rows of potted plants on the front porch and the different paint of the house. It used to be deep blue color, now it’s creamy yellow. The wooden fences were painted blue, and now the paints mostly chipped away.

From the pathway, Damian can see the sunflower field behind the house. It looks identical as he remembered only shorter and smaller in his eyes now. It stretches from the far left starting from a barn and to the far right. There used to be two horses in that barn where Jon and he would ride a brown mare named Macey, and sometimes the white stallion Jackie.

The Kent’s farmhouse was supposed to be their vacation house. Damian had come here for summer vacation to spend time in nature and play around with Jon. His happy memories here were running into the sunflower field, playing chase. Riding on top of the tractors while Mr. Kent drives. Picnics under their favorite ginormous oak tree, while working on their summer homework. Helping Mrs. Kent hangs the laundry and playing hide and seek between the sheets.

It was a place where he allowed himself to be a child.

The front door opens before Damian gets to reach the porch. A beaming smile from a woman whose face barely changes greets him.

“Damian! It’s been so long.” The woman steps out to the front porch, with her pink apron over a checkered red dress and folded sleeves on her arms that open to greet him.

Her black hair is long now, they’re blown by the breeze and sway like the sunflower field behind her humble house.

Damian speed walks across the path and hugs her. She wraps her arms around him tightly. Though he’s taller than her now, he still feels like that small and fragile boy under her motherly arms.

“Hello to you too Lois, you’ve been well?”

“I am,” She lets go and opens the door, “Come inside, have you eaten lunch?”

“I have.”

“Coffee or tea then? Maybe a little snack? I’m baking my apple pie since I know you’re coming.”

“Lois, you shouldn’t have, I don’t want to bother you too much.”

“None of that! It’s been too long since I last saw you, you never even visit.” Lois then stopped and looks at Damian from top to bottom. “You’ve grown into such a looker!” she slaps Damian’s arm playfully.

“Thank you,” Damian flustered.

Damian walks into the house after her. The open kitchen is on the left, while the sofa and tv in on the right, just like he remembered. There’s barely any changes around. The floor plan and decoration are still at the same place, even the pictures by the walls are the same arrangement. There are only a few furniture changed to something new.

“Is Clark home?”

“No, he’s at work, but he’s coming home early today if you’d like to stay and say hi.”

“I’ll do that, thank you for welcoming me.”

“Oh don’t be so uptight! I take it you’re not here only to see us, are you?” Lois smiles lightly, warm and bright, like her son’s.

“No, I’m here to ask about Jon.”

Her pale pink lips parted and she steps back a little, “Oh? You are?” Lois is noticeably stupefied.

“Yes. I believe I might’ve said something upsetting to Jon ten years ago.”

“Upsetting? Were you fighting?”

“No, we never fight,” Despite Damian always rejecting Jon’s friendship at first, the fight was always one-sided.

“But that day, I made him cry, and I can’t remember what I said or did,” Damian admits, taking a deep breath and looks up to meet Lois’s eyes.

Her smile is no more, but her eyes warm and welcoming, giving him her full attention.

“I was wondering if he ever told you why he cried. If he told you something I’ve said?”

Lois sighed and put his hand of Damian’s arm, rubbing with her thumb.

“Wait here,” She said before walking down the halls and disappears into Jon’s room, then returns with a book in hand.

“He never told me that he cried in front of you, but I believe the answer you seek is in here,” she hands him a book with mixed patterns on the cover. It looks like a diary, and it’s definitely not a diary they exchange to each other, because Damian had never seen this one before.

“Is it okay for me to read something so private?”

“You needed it, and he’ll understand. I think he’ll even thank me.” Lois winks.

His hands hesitated, before finally taking it from Lois’ hands, “Thank you. Where’s Jon?”

“Under the oak tree behind the house.”

“Ah, our tree,” Damian cracks a smile, he misses that spot, “I’ll go see him.”

Lois clenches his hands on top of her chest, long lashes flutter before she reaches out and lands her hand on his shoulder. “Alright,” she stated weakly, as if unsure, “Alright, don’t stay out too late now!” she says clearer and smiles.

Damian spares a curl of a smile, and can only nod gratefully to her before walking out the door.

With the book in hand, Damian stops by the steps down the porch. He sits there and read the diary first before going around the house.

It felt like trespassing someone’s private life. They usually read each other’s diaries but Jon doesn’t give him this one himself.

After pondering for a few minutes, in the end, his curiosity wins. The book contains his goal and reason for going out of his way to come here. And if Lois, who knows her son the most, gave this to him to read, means that it’s really okay. He opens the cover and read the first page.

‘January 1st, 2010

My dearest diary,

From now on, we only have each other, it’ll be one of my new year resolutions. First, I can’t give you to Damian anymore, because--’

Damian looks away, already regretting reading that part. Whatever Jon writes here, he doesn’t want Damian to know, and he has to honor that. Damian just needs to know what happened on 17th November 2010.

The diary starts at the first Januar. Jon always has a new resolution every year and as suspected of most people, forgot it in mid-January. This has got to be the only one Jon followed through

Not wanting to probe any more than he needed to, Damian flips the pages and only looks for the dates. Then he finally found it, at least he thought he does. The dates jump, further and further towards the end of the year. The entry Damian looked for is the first one in two months.

November 18th, 2010

I did something stupid yesterday. I can’t believe I cried in front of Damian, and I can’t stop for the love of. I thought I’m getting better at hiding it, but at that moment everything just burst out and I’m not in control anymore. Damian told me he’s going back when he graduates high school. That’s two years away in his fancy smart class in his even fancier and more prestigious high school his mom made him enroll. I’m already busting my ass to get to the same high school, but I don’t think I can graduate the same time as Damian. As much as I HATE to admit it, I’m just not as smart as Damian!

Can’t he just hit the breaks or something? I know he’s smart, but it’s like he’s rushing to get out of my face or something.

No, Damian never wanted to leave. His mother had demanded his return as quickly as possible, that’s why he was rushing.

I was already tearing up when he says he’ll be leaving... I had hoped we can get into the same university, I thought I had more time. But then he told me he had no choice, He was bound to return and continue his family’ weird tradition of making him do these things they already set him to do. Then he told me about a fiancee that was chosen for him. He started talking about something else but I didn’t listen, because I was already bursting in tears.

I know it’s still too soon for marriage talks, we’re 15! He’s 15! But then it’s just so sudden. Damian just accepts it as it is... He’ll go with it. It’s one of those weird lists his mom made him do, but he wants to do it, and I hate that I can’t blame anyone. It just hits me hard and bad that Damian is not someone like me or someone that can never like me.

It was so embarrassing. He thought it was his fault, but I don’t know... I was just crying because

Diary, I’m so thankful that you’ll never judge me. I can say anything I want and you’ll accept me. If only I can ask you something... to tell me if I’m wrong or not, whether or not I should give up. I’m afraid, but just accepting it as it is so lonely... I don’t feel like going to school. I’m not ready to see him yet. I don’t think I can remain calm seeing him again. There are just so many things I’m sad about but  I can’t tell him about it, and you can’t do anything but listen. It’s not enough!

I just wanted to have a chance

Should I just go for it? And consequences be damned? I’m just sick of feeling hidden like this. I can’t lie well.

I’m afraid of telling my parents... the pastor always told us that

I just feel like a weirdo, like I’m broken. I’d hate it if Dami thinks I’m sick too and starts avoiding me like I’m a virus I’d rather

What am I going to do? I don’t want anything to change with Dami I just can’t and I’m lost I don’t know how

Diary, will I ever be ready?

When the time comes for me to attend his wedding, can I bear the pain of seeing someone I love marry another?

Damian stopped breathing, and re-read the last sentences. Then re-read the whole entry. And each time he reads them, something chokes him. It’s hard to hold onto the book when there’s no strength left on his hands. He exhaled a shaky breath and looks away from the letters on his lap.

He knows he promised not to read any more than what he needed. Damian already got the answer he seeks, but the next entry is the last one. Lois did give him the whole book, and Damian turns that reason for his justification.

‘January 1st, 2011

Damian used to tease me for having new years resolution. Well tough luck on him! I kept this diary from him for a year as a resolution, and I did it!

As for this year's resolution, it’s going to be harder. But I need to do this... I just need to.

I’ll confess to Damian, but I don’t think I can ever say it without incoherently stutter and sobbing and shaking like a newborn fawn taking its first step. Because this is, in a way, a first step for me... He’s going to be the first one to know, after my parents of course.

I’ve never been so sure. I’ve talked about it with my parents, and I’ve never felt so grateful to have them in my life than at that moment. I love them for not avoiding me or even worse, putting me on a camp like I’ve seen on the internet. Their love for me is so limitless that I finally have the courage to at least... confess in some way, but I’m still really scared though.

There’s where you came in handy diary. I’m going to give you to him, and he’s going to read everything I’ve been hiding from him. How it all started, all my fears, and the things I’ve been hiding, and my secret feelings for him. How I started to fall in love with him.

Oh god, my hands are sweating now and I can’t even hold the pen right. I realized now that Damian is going to read this...

I guess I’m no longer addressing this to ‘Diary’. This is for you Damian.

I love you. If you read from the first entry, you’ll know how it started, and I know it’s kinda dumb haha. But I really do love you. Sometimes too much that it hurts and I can’t sleep at night. Whenever I see you, I imagine a future where I’ll get to see your smiling face beside me for the rest of my life. I want to hold your hand like we did when we’re kids and doesn’t know any better. I want to kiss your cheek again like I did before everyone decided it’s too weird for two grown boys to kiss each other. I just want to love you and be with you.

I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same, I just hoped you won't see me differently, or avoid me. It’s okay if you reject me, or stay away from me for a few weeks maybe, I just hoped we can stay friends. Even though we won't be more than friends, I’ll take what you offer. No matter what, I’ll be your best friend, and nothing can change that but you.

I’m probably too nervous to see you. So, put this on my backpack for a no, and put it on my locker for a yes.

Feel free to write in a reply. I’ll be waiting.’

Damian chuckles that soon turns into a full wet laugh. He closed the book, with a content smile on his face, now he’s ready to meet Jon.

He walks around the back of the house.

The sunflowers are taken care of now since the Kents moved in here. Once, between the dense bright green stems that soars tall to the sky and sunflowers facing the sun, he was short enough to hide in it.

The dirt pathway that splits the field in the middle leads to a big oak tree at the end of the lane. It rooted right at the feet of the knolls that still counted as Kent’s property. It’s never changing from he last saw it as if stuck in time, or the years that passed is nothing but a blink for the ancient tree. It has the same branches, and the same leaves as Damian remembered.

In the summer break, when it was too hot to stay indoors, he and Jon would sit under that tree’s shadow with cold beverages and Lois’ apple pie with ice cream on top. Talking about nonsense, or drawing, or playing with dirt, stick, and stones. It was all nonsensical for Damian who always taught to be an adult at an early age, but he enjoys letting himself do unproductive fun with Jon and not be ridiculed. Then at night, they would climb to the top of the knoll and camp there, roasting marshmallows and watched the stars.

In this farm, that time, he was a child. He was having fun.

Under the tall oak tree, the lights that passed its many branches and leaves would land on his face, as he laid there beside Jon. Often, he would look to his side, dark hair laid to frame his pale face that blotched with hints of pink, the way his face reflected the sunlight, he looked like an angel.  His blue irises reflect lights like diamonds and a smile that outshines the sun. Jon was beautiful.

Stepping into the shadow of the mighty tree, Damian felt his heart drops to the soft pasture on his feet. The breath he exhaled shakes and he puts all his strength to hold onto Jon’s diary.

“Hello, Jon,” Damian whispered under his breath.

Despite the pain, Damian couldn’t even express a tinge of it. It’s really been too long since he last visits this place.

On the trimmed grass, Damian kneels in front of Jon’s headstone. The upright monument bevels from the five-centimeter base that’s surrounded in wildflowers. A design of light grey granite with gold linings and Jon’s name in white. A mound and flowers carved at the top and the headstone reaching just below Damian’s chest.

His name is looking towards the fields where they spent their childhood. It’s a perfect place filled with memory for Jon to rest. Where he’ll get sun, stars, nature, and family always by his side.

The day is bright and sunny without any clouds in the sky, and the sun shines on the petals of the sunflowers. They are all looking up to the sun, bringing out their golden hue.

“Is this why you came to my dreams? To make me come here and give you my reply?” Damian asked to the nothingness, and no one answers.

But Damian gave what Jon wanted anyway.

“Since I was born, I was given purposes, duties, a place to fill and expectations to meet. I have the name, and resources to get there. Most people approach to have that benefit from me, and I’ll only tend to them who I can also benefit from. You are someone who asks nothing of me but my company. Not my name, not my position, not my privileges, not my responsibilities, not my resources, just me. Everything I own, borrowed or owed from my family and ancestors, but you? You’ve been mine the moment you held my hand when you thought I wouldn’t notice. When you kissed my cheek before you’re too ashamed to be seen by others.”

The afternoon sun was too dazzling, and his vision starts to blur. So, Damian closes his eyes, and his knees gave up, making him sit instead.

“If you had asked for my love, I would’ve given it to you in a heartbeat.” Damian sighed, and all the strength in his body left with his breath. “I would’ve stayed here forever if you wanted me to, but when you left, it’s painful to stay. So I ran away from this place.”

The lights getting too bright, he’s starting to lose his balance. His head lulled from side to side, he suddenly feels tired. He scoots forward a bit and lay down on the grass beside Jon. Looking up to the veined branches and tiny dense leaves. A few lights breached through, they look like dots, shining bright light stars. Jon and Damian used to pretend they’re constellation made for them.

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited, I couldn’t... I was scared too.”

He doesn’t know when he closed his eyes, but when the lights return, he is no longer at the back of Kent’s farm under the oak tree.

It was the school's hallway. They’re in their middle school uniform, the bell just rang so there were no kids around. They talked as they were going to their separate classes.

One thing had led to another, and Jon asked, “Hey Dami? Where’re you planning to go for university?”

“We haven't even finished middle school yet.”

“Humor me! Just wanna know.”

“My mother chose that for me already, probably somewhere in Brittain.”

“Wh-what? That far?” Jon was for the lack of a better word, caught off guard like it’s so far from what he expected.

“Yes, I don’t have control over that.”

“But why? I thought your mom lets you do stuff on your own now.”

Damian laughed out loud, “Hell would freeze before that happens. Al-Ghuls forge their children as the previous generation sees fit. It was done for my mother by my grandfather, and it is done for me by her. Soon, with the fiancee of her choice, I will have a child on my own and forge them.”

“Fi-fiancee?”

“Yes, I’ve met her. She’s older than me by four years. We’ll marry when I have come of age and established a position in the League of Al-Ghuls, and you, of course, without a doubt will be my best man. There’s a list of accomplishment of what I need to do the moment I was born. The Al-Ghul family line is prestigious, and I can’t say I’m pressured when I can execute every expectation perfectly without a struggle. But, I’m pushing my mother’s patience for staying here until high school. So I have to meet her demands for university no-”

Damian realized after a few steps of his own that Jon didn’t follow. When he turned around, Jon had tears pouring cats and dogs from his sky orbs of blue. Hand clenched into a shaking fist, Jon pursed his lips and looks at Damian as if one of them just died.

Never in their years of friendship did Damian ever made Jon cry, not even when Damian had pushed Jon away before.

Seeing Jon cry as if the world falls apart, Damian didn’t know what to say. He wanted to apologize but he didn’t know what he did wrong. So, Damian did what he can do. They skipped class for the first time, and slip into the empty gymnasium. When they’re alone there, they sit by the bleachers and Damian put his arms around his shoulder as long as he cried.

There are so many things Damian wanted to ask, say, and do that are different.

He wanted to say, “Tell me what’s wrong.” His replayed memory let the word be said.

Little 15-year-old Jon looks at him, “No, Dami... I’m just afraid.”

“You claimed to know me but you don't! I don’t want to lose you too!” Damian exclaimed. His words echo meaninglessly to the imagery that long passed.

Jon said nothing. He had said nothing for a long time back then, just crying on his shoulder as Damian foolishly keeps silent.

A bright light flashed across his eyes and everything is white. When color returns, Jon is no longer in his arms.

He was in the school hallway, he remembered this feeling of dread cooking in his gut that tells him to turn around and leave, but he wanted to see Jon more. To confront him about why he cried after his restlessness finally able to break his apathy.

It was their first day of school in 2011 after the new year holiday. Damian remembered it like it just happened yesterday. He was –despite his disdain of breaking the rules- running down the halls because he woke up late. Alfred had thought he was sick and let him be, but what happened was, Damian couldn’t sleep because he’s nervous about asking Jon why he cried. It bothered him until Damian finally felt that enough is enough. He needed to talk to Jon about it, and he psyched himself to do it until 3 am.

While he was running to his class, he heard a loud bang from the end of the hall. Children were screaming as the continuous sound of what Damian had identified as gunshots, fired repeatedly like a machine gun.

Damian had just arrived, he’s near the exit and he easily turned around ran out of the building.

There’re a lot of kids following him to run outside in a panic and on their phones, Damian did that too. And the first one he called was Jon, who doesn’t pick up. Then he tried Clark, who fell on voice mail, and then he tried Lois who finally picked up.

“Lois? Where’s Jon? There’s a shooting happening, don’t come!”

“Oh, Oh dear God.., I already drop him to school.”

Damian blanked out, and the next thing he did was run back into the school building the same way he came out. Jon had AP Science for the first period, and Damian ran towards that class without a second thought.

There’s laughter growing closer down the hall mixed with pleading and cries. Quickly, before the voice grew too close, Damian hid on the janitor’s closet with the louvered door.

He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears when the weight of the situation finally settled on him. There’s a killer on the loose, and they had guns. From the shots that fired, and the sudden silence, there’s a possibility that someone could’ve already...

Damian heard screaming growing closer and running steps.

From the space between the parallel bars on the door, Damian peeked out to the halls, seeing a couple of school's running and pass. But before they could disappear from Damian’s eyesight, shots fired, and red dots appear on their back before they fell flat on the floor.

A boy giggled maniacally and ran pass the hall holding an assault rifle. The boy was a senior, someone from Damian’s class. The gunshots continue, followed by children screaming, but it’s further now. Damian’s fear of his life redirected to his fear of Jon’s life. Once again, he tried calling Jon’s phone as he steps out of the closet. The gunshots were far away now, and the school was awfully quiet.

At long last, he finally heard Jon’s ringtone.

Damian ran as quick as he can, towards the voice of the ringtone that was far away from the gunshot.

When he finally reached Jon’s class, which was empty, he sighed in relieve.

They had an emergency exit plan in case of disasters happened. Damian followed the sign that hung from the ceiling and follows the pathway to the exit. The more he ran, the more body he found. His eyes darted around the barely developed bodies lies lifeless on their own of pool of blood spilled on the white tiles.

Damian tried calling Jon’s phone again.

He heard his ring tone. A melancholic piano and a voice singing gently with his smooth voice. Damian sought that familiar melody in the dead silence of the hallway.

It was Jon’s favorite song, one among many on the CD they often play on a portable cd player when they go camping. The song calmed him, makes him focused as his feet stepped over the bodies in the halls. On accident, His feet stepped on blood once too many times in his horror. Reciting the lyrics helped himself from breaking down.

“I-I'll find repose in new ways though I haven't slept in two days, cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. But drenched in van-n-nilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night. Waist deep in thought because when I think of you I don't feel so alone. I don't feel so alone...”

The song was finally loud and clear. He made a turn to the left, and the exit is right at the end of that hall. Some bodies laid right before they reach it, those were people who didn’t make it.

Vanilla twilight is still playing, and he knows where it’s from. A dim light shines through front trousers pocket in one of the body laying down the halls.

Damian hangs up, and the light goes out too.

What was he hoping for when Damian walks closer to that body? The black-haired boy looks away from him as if sparing him, giving him a chance to look away. But Damian persists, walking towards the body that laid still on the floor with two growing red spots on his chest. Kneeling beside the body, right on the pool of red, with trembling hands, Damian slowly held his face and turns it to face him.

The skin was still warm to the touch, and the face that he adores with its soft features doesn’t even move the tiniest muscle. A few strands of his soft curls stick on his face. A pair of unmoving eyes stared back at Damian, a haunting sight how empty they were.

Every drop of blood in Damian’s body turns cold. His hands trembled as he held Jon’s face. A light came into view from the end of the hall right in front of him. He saw Jon’s pupils constrict when the lights hits.

“Jon?” Damian called, rubbing his face gently, but Jon still didn’t move at all.

The next thing he knew he was lifted by the stomach and a lot of grown-ups yelling and running from the light.

Whatever their face looks like, it’s blurry. Whatever they said, it’s wispy. What’s clear as day is Jon’s eyes on him as Damian was taken away.

“Wait!” He heard himself say, “Don’t take me away, let me stay here. Jon!” No one heard him.

He was a light tween and in shock, he barely put up a fight. His hands reached out to Jon, but the man that carried him ignored his plea.

It was the last time Damian ever saw Jon.

Damian didn’t even walk up to his casket on the funeral home, he doesn’t want to see Jon with his eyes closed.

After he finished middle school, he left to Saudi Arabia, continuing the task his mother planned for him ever since he was in her stomach. It served as Damian’s goal, a distraction, something to occupy his mind.

Years passed and he’s married to his work more than he is to his wife. To be fair, so is she. He rarely stays long in Gotham. Only a day or two for business trips, and he left as soon as he can. Then it became a habit to avoid ever coming to Gotham.

Damian was raised like an heir, but Jon makes him feel human, a kid, a teenager. The first person that ever make him feels like, well, a regular person. He got a taste of family and love. Jon taught him that it’s not shameful to be vulnerable. For the first time, Damian felt happy. Not accomplishment after succeeding a task. Not relieve when he doesn’t make a mistake. Just pure happiness.

There’s nothing left in this city if Jon is not here.

That is, until the dreams of him crying, like he’s trying to take him back here.

Damian had felt numb since Jon left. He doesn’t let himself remember the bad or the end, only the good.

He doesn’t let himself misses Jon.

But he did. Every single day since that day there has been a whole in the shape of him in Damian’s chest. And every day since that day, Damian had gotten better at ignoring it.

Even so, the past still caught up with him. Damian still can’t forget, and he can’t pretend it didn’t happen anymore.

Damian wakes up sobbing, crouching in a fetal position towards Jon’s grave. His tears flow like rivers on a rainy day. Tucked his head on his knees, Damian hugs himself as he cried out his chest over his loss after ten years of keeping it in his tight lidded heart

A hand landed on his back, and slowly, Damian looks up and see Lois with a slight curl on her lips and sad doe eyes.

“Did you ever said goodbye?”

“I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to let him go.” Damian croaks.

Lois pulls his arms up and caught him in a hug. Damian quick to latch on too, holding onto her back. Her long fingers rub the top of Damian’s head in slow languid movement. Rocking him slightly side to side.

“I think you’re here for a reason,” Lois comforts, “Why else would you come after ten years without looking back?”

Damian looks over her shoulder, to the fields of sunflowers that faces west, to the glow that starts to orange.

“The dreams. I dreamt of him crying. I just... wanted to say I’m sorry for making him cry.”

“But my son died.”

“Not to me,” Damian persists, and immediately realized what he just said, “I never... It all happened so quickly. I saw him the day before, I was here with you and Clark and Jon to see fireworks, and the next day he... I just can’t... I’m not ready to let him go just yet, Lois I can’t--”

“I know, Damian. Believe me, I know how it felt... But you’ve met now, you’re here.” Lois keeps rubbing his back.

“Do... Do you think he brought me here?”

Lois chuckled, and it puts a weak smile on Damian too. “He wanted you to know how he felt, he wanted you to mourn him, and he knows the only one that can bring you to do that, is himself.”

Jon’s crying in his memory had brought him here. Maybe the sudden reminder is not a coincidence. The sunset grows dark, and after taking a deep slow breath, Damian closed his eyes. His mind takes him back to the last scene of his dream.

The memory didn’t change, nor was it a mere dream. He can’t forget the last day he saw Jon like it’s a cursed blessing.

But now, with his eyes closed and Lois familiar smell to Jon’s, he remembers that moment even clearer and with more details.

A police officer was the one that carried Damian out of the hallways filled with dead kids. Paramedics run in from the opposite way of where he was taken. One of them kneels beside Jon’s body, while his eyes are still at him, shining like the lake under the blue sky, like how Jon always sees him. The paramedic pressed their fingers on Jon’s neck and started to press the wounds. Jon’s eyelids twitched like a dying flutter of butterfly wings still trying to fly. And Damian sees that, sees that Jon is still alive as he was taken.

Do you know why I always smiled, Damian? He heard Jon says, but his lips don’t move.

In their last moment together, even as they’re being separated, they get to see each other one last time. With the last energy he had, though it was weak and faint, Jon was smiling at him.

Because I was with you.

Damian breathes in as he opens his eyes to meet the sunset again, and tears roll down to Lois’ shoulder. Was he imagining his voice? Somehow, for whatever the answer is, Damian accepts it.

“Lois, he was alive.”

“He was critical when the paramedics found him, there’s nothing they can do,” Lois corrected, her voice cracks, “And I’m glad you’re the last thing he sees.”

Slowly, she retracts just enough to hold Damian’s face and wipes his wet cheeks with her thumbs. She looked just like Jon. His look of compassion, feminine nose and those earnest blue eyes, all he got from her.

“What am I going to do now?” Damian faltered.

“You’re going to cry your heart out until it’s satisfied, and then, you move on.”

Damian bites his lips, and eyes pooled with a new wave of tears, “I don’t want to forget him.”

“I’m not telling you to. Moving on is not forgetting. It’s coming to terms with loss, and when you remember him, it won’t hurt as much. It’s going to be a long process, especially when you never even started. But you’re welcome to come and talk to him, or just to visit me and Clark. You’re not alone, we’re going to be fine.”

What Lois said is just still too hard to accept, but the one who weeps the most was her when she drove to the school right after Damian’s call and sees Jon’s body in a bag. If she can do it, maybe it’s worth a try for Damian.

“Thank you, Lois... Can you leave me with him for a bit, please?”

“Of course sweetheart,” She complied, patting Damian on the back before she stands up and leaves.

Damian takes his attention to the knoll behind him. It’s lush from the bottom to the top. When he looks up, the gaps between leaves and branches no longer glares with light like stars since the sun is setting. The sunflower fields are dense and healthy, and the pasture around them is lush, pillowy and green. It’s a pretty sight, one that’ll never be the same.

Damian looks down to the placard on Jon’s headstone.

“Thank you for telling me,” Damian traces the name Jonathan Samuel Kent on the placard. “Thank you for bringing me here,” his fingers move down to the year, 1995 – 2011.

“My life was a script. I never mind it, but when I saw you, smiling without a care in the world, made me feel that happiness too. For a short moment, my mind went, oh, this is not so bad, maybe I wanted this. I see you, and I see and felt... freedom, that I can choose you instead of what’s chosen for me. I found happiness with you... but you left before I get to say it, before I even knew what that feeling meant.”

His tears roll down again, even after the storm he shed, somehow he still have another coming. This is the most he cried in all his life. Ten years worth of sorrow and despair. There’s going to be more of these in the future, he’ll have a hard time sleeping, and he’ll cry whenever he re-read his diary, or see their picture on his old room.

Yet somehow, Damian finds himself cracking a smile as he looks down to Jon’s grave. When he remembers Jon crying in his dreams, he doesn’t feel guilty anymore. Even though he knows Jon cried because of him, evidently, it was no one’s fault.

Jon cried because he loved him.

“I’ve loved you too, Jonathan Kent.”

[girlactionfigure]

"Magneto’s Jewishness is central to his character

His experience as a Jew – as a survivor of the Nazi death camps and a member of one of the most despised ethnic groups on Earth (not just in the United States, but in the entire world) – is the main impetus for Magneto’s actions. It’s why he is who he is." - Dani Ishai Behan

According to recent rumors, Marvel intends to give Magneto – the iconic Jewish supervillain – a fresh coat of paint. But what exactly is meant by “fresh coat of paint” here?

Put simply, it is alleged that they intend to cast a “POC” actor – or actors – as Magneto in any future appearances.

Why is this a bad thing? Well, it’s not. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. So what’s the problem?

The problem is that Magneto is a Jewish Holocaust survivor. He is already a POC, at least insofar as indigenous Middle Eastern populations are considered to be such (which Marvel undoubtedly does), and they arguably should have been using Jewish (or other Middle Eastern) actors from the get-go. However, since it’s highly unlikely that Marvel actually considers diaspora Jews like Magneto to be Middle Eastern (even though they are Middle Eastern, by definition), and since there are no other notable anti-Jewish genocides in the past 50 years to draw inspiration from, the implications of this rumor could not be more clear: they may very well end up erasing Magneto’s Jewish origins.

I’m deeply bothered that Marvel is even considering this – that the thought of it has even entered their heads, let alone their board room discussions. And I’m even more bothered that it’s being framed as a bid for “diversity”, as if this is really “no different” than changing Ariel’s race. It absolutely is different. In fact, these scenarios couldn’t be any more different if they tried to be.

There are many reasons why changing Magneto’s origins would be damaging and oppressive to Jews, especially in light of anti-Semitism’s meteoric rise and resurgence in mainstream culture. For starters…

Magneto’s Jewishness is central to his character

His experience as a Jew – as a survivor of the Nazi death camps and a member of one of the most despised ethnic groups on Earth (not just in the United States, but in the entire world) – is the main impetus for Magneto’s actions. It’s why he is who he is. Magneto is an extremist because he sees the way mutants are treated as parallel to the way Jews are treated. His realization that humans will never accept mutants also parallels Herzl’s realization that Europeans would never accept Jews. And Magneto’s proposed solution, while certainly 100x more extreme than Herzl’s (whose solution was to repatriate Jewish exiles to their indigenous homeland, to liberate it from foreign rule, and to regain sovereignty therein), is borne of a similar distrust and cynicism towards those who hate his kind.

Magneto is a Jew. That’s who he is to most fans, especially to Jewish fans who grew up with him and identified with him for much of their lives. Why take that away from us? Especially now?

Magneto embodies Jewish anger, fear, trauma, and pain like no other character, before or since. You can’t just treat that as if it’s some trivial thing, or if it’s just “white” people crying about their “privilege” (which, it must be emphasized, Jews do not have). Changing him now would be horrifically insensitive and immensely disrespectful to Jewish fans, especially to children/grandchildren of Holocaust survivors.

If it’s Magneto’s age people are worried about, I’m certain Marvel could come up with something. If they can prolong Wolverine’s life for as long as they have, there’s no reason why they can’t do so for Magneto.

And if there’s another minority out there whom they feel is “more deserving” of representation, they can simply create a new character. Problem solved.

Jews deserve representation too

Like it or not, we’re minorities too. And we don’t exactly have stellar representation, contrary to common belief.

We’re all but invisible outside of some very stereotypical characters. I mean, what else do we have besides lonely nerds, gold diggers, terrorists, bankers, and eccentric rabbis?

We have this…

Yup, that’s right. Gargamel, the main villain of the Smurfs, is supposed to be Jewish. And if his Levantine features didn’t make that painfully obvious, he also had a mezuzah in his house in his first few appearances.

There are exceptions to this rule (e.g. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman), but that’s all they really are: exceptions.

I know what people are going to say next… “But what about these Jewish actors who’ve done characters like Indiana Jones and Jackie Kennedy? They even did blackface back in the day.” Well, here’s the thing: they weren’t Jewish actors playing Jewish characters. They were white-passing Jewish actors (and usually only half or even 1/4 Jewish, like myself) playing white characters. That’s not representation, and referring to it as such is essentially tantamount to whitewashing. It is every bit as absurd as saying Indians are “white”/”well-represented” because Ben Kingsley played Adolf Eichmann (yes, that Adolf Eichmann), or that Arabs* are because Lebanese actor Danny Thomas (to name one example) did blackface and other white roles, or that Latinos are because Cesar Romero did The Joker.

*Speaking of Arabs, Jewish actors who are more obviously/visibly Jewish (particularly those who aren’t half or 3/4 non-Jewish) are very frequently cast in Arab roles. And no one even notices. Why is that?

It’s because…

Ashkenazi Jews are not white people

Non-Ashkenazi Jews exist, of course. That is undeniable. But since Magneto was born in the Jewish diaspora communities of Central Europe, it is quite obvious that he is Ashkenazi.

And Marvel’s assertion that they intend to rebrand Magneto as a “POC” is a pretty clear indication that they have a piss-poor understanding of (if not utter contempt for) who Jews are.

Magneto isn’t white. He’s a Jewish Holocaust survivor. Jews are an indigenous ethnic group and nation of the Levant, so it makes little sense to refer to Magneto as white unless A ) he is a convert (which he’s not) or B ) one views all indigenous Levantines as white, which is highly unlikely (at least in Marvel’s case). Ergo, Magneto has always been a POC.

However, all of his live-action portrayals were done by white actors, and this suggests that whoever was responsible for their casting sees Jews as nothing more than a religion. And for someone whose view is that Magneto is an “ethnic Pole” or “ethnic German” whose family “just so happened to practice Judaism”, it’s not too far of a leap (or even a leap at all) to cast white actors in that role. This view is, of course, patently absurd.

This popular narrative that Ashkenazim are “white”, and that we are therefore already “over-represented” and don’t “need” characters like Magneto, is the reason why things like this keep happening. Were it not for that, the idea of replacing Erik Lensherr with a “real” minority would have never entered their heads.

Just because we’re not black, doesn’t mean we’re white. And you can’t treat this as if it’s somehow akin to rebranding Ariel as a black woman. It’s just not comparable.

It indicates that Marvel does not see Jews as a “real” minority group

Marvel is a politically progressive company. And the progressive left has been infected with its own form of Jew-hate – distinct from its right-wing counterpart, but similar in many ways. One thing they both have in common is that they both feel Jews are “hyper-powerful” and absolutely swimming in “privilege”, and are therefore not oppressed or marginalized in any meaningful way – and that if anything, we’re the oppressors. And for this reason, it is argued that we do not “deserve” the same respect or consideration that other oppressed outgroups do, and this argument naturally extends to representation in media. After all, this isn’t the first time Marvel whitewashed a character’s Jewishness (Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver), and it likely won’t be the last.

And it is precisely this line of thinking that facilitates antisemitism and contributes to its growth.

Bottom line: Magneto is Jewish. He is a Holocaust survivor. He is an ethnic Middle Easterner. And despite his (typically) villainous portrayal, he has done more to give Jews a human face than any other character. And if there’s anything we need right now, it’s for people to see our humanity.

Source

[loving---women]

Jackie

This is just a fun photo for me. I'm wearing an adult suit but I still have my backpack on like a child. Just a visual representation of me growing I guess. No one says anything about my sexuality when I meet them but close friends have shared they knew when we first met or assumed after knowing me for a time.

I don’t have a favorite part [about loving women]. It's sort of like when you ask someone what they like about their significant other and they say everything. I grew up in a semi major city so my role as a female was rarely disrespected, but my role as a lesbian has caused stir in my family and some other settings like churches or other religious families. My sexuality is not universally accepted but I had more problems with my family than I ever did with friends or strangers, just in my city we also have Pride here which I have learned is not very common.

I was raised christian and that still sticks with me. I even went to a catholic high school (I am not catholic). Other things I think shaped me more was my upbringing. My family was in the lower middle class and most of my friends were better off so I learned humility quite early. I've also been an athlete since I was in second grade so my work ethic and attitude to adversity stems from those experiences. Finally I'm a black female this facet touched everything from refs cheating against me in basketball games to how other families saw me at my private schools growing up. There is really no explaining how being black affects everything in my life. 

Dating has always been, well, casual. I met people at school or through friends and it just would spark or it wouldn't.  My intersecting personalities always made me "mysterious" . I'm an athlete who likes books, a photographer who prefers to be in pictures, a chill person who will kick your butt in chess. and so on. I think I'm like any other person as the cover doesn't contain the whole book. 

For a while I thought I was less than others or not normal but through growing up and realizing I'm amazing I see that my sexuality does not take away from my humanity. I am still the bright young girl I was in elementary and middle school. I just know what I like now. [I want people outside the community to know] there has been a recent interest in tops, bottoms and other terms like that and I just want to say if you do not know what is is don't bother to look into it because labels mean nothing in the end just do you and keep going. 

[lostinfic]

I would like 15 or 25 with Hardy/Hannah please for the kink flashfic

Anonymous said to lostinfic: I’m convinced hardy talks dirty during sex. Can you write that? With Hannah?

#15 Desperation/Orgasm denial (there’s a bit of that)

#25 Frottage/outercourse

This is sort of a follow-up to Pearls.

➜ Kink flashfiction

Ao3

What was supposed to be a quick peck on the lips to welcome him, had quickly turned into a proper snog against the wall, with the door to her flat still opened.

After two weeks apart, they missed each other desperately. The fact that he'd arrived in London later than expected had only increased their longing.

Going so long without sex drove her crazy but it was worth it.

His mouth trailed down her neck and over her collarbone, wet, hungry kisses that had her grip handfuls of his hair.

They floundered with the buttons on each other's shirt, and burst laughing at their own clumsy impatience.

"I should've worn a skirt."

"And me a kilt."

"Oh, there's an idea."

They chuckled through another kiss.

"I love you, you muppet."

"Me too."

Hannah's phone alarm chimed.

"Fuck. We're supposed to go to that play tonight."

"Urgh."

It was Hannah’s sister’s idea to attend a representation of “Shakespeare in the park”. A year ago Hannah would have forgone the play in favour of fantastic sex, but she was trying to mend her relationship with her family. Jackie’s dislike of Hardy made things harder, so this invitation was actually a significant improvement on her part.

"D'you mind going?" she asked.

"Aye. But it's important to you."

When they arrived at the park, a substantial crowd had already gathered around the small stage. Jackie glared as if it was their fault if they had to sit so far away at the back— well, it kind of was their fault. Getting showered and dressed had proven somewhat difficult when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, even the car. In the end, they didn’t have time for more than heavy petting that left them both keyed up.

There weren’t enough fold-up chairs available so Hannah opted to sit on Hardy’s lap. He had no complaints about that.

Even if he wasn’t one for public displays of affection, the dark night and screen of trees behind lured him into a false sense of privacy. He hugged Hannah around the waist, and she relaxed against him with a soft, contented sigh.

Hardy soon found himself more interested in kissing her neck than in the play. Hannah giggled, earning a glare from Jackie. They scooted the chair a little farther back.

“Don’t mind her,” Hannah whispered, tilting her head so as to offer her neck.

The noise of nearby traffic and sporadic play soundtrack covered the wet smack of his lips.

Her t-shirt slid down her arm revealing not only her shoulder but her cleavage.

He felt like a teenager around her. Not so long ago he would have sneered at people who couldn't keep their hands off each other, and he never wanted to go back to being so cynical about love and attraction.

He noticed the midnight blue strap of her bra and wondered if it was the same she had worn on his birthday. A gorgeous, delicate piece of lingerie with a string of pearls trailing from the center of the bra to the apex of her thighs for stimulation.

The thought made him cant his hips up under her.

Hardy cleared his throat and removed his hands from her, gripping the armrests instead. But Hannah wasn’t having any of that, she placed one of his hands over her stomach, pressing until he felt the bumps of pearls under his palm.

“Did you…?”

Hannah bit her bottom lip and squirmed in his lap.

Hardy looked around him, everyone was focused on the play. He slowly dragged his foot back so as to raise his knee between her legs. Hannah’s breath caught in her throat. He felt a familiar throb in his pants. What had he gotten himself into?

-

Hannah pressed herself down on Alec’s thigh. The pearls were exactly where they needed to be. She experimentally swiveled her hips and had to bite back a moan. She moved again, this time to press her bum against Alec’s crotch. He froze under her, and she smirked.

“Careful,” he said in a low voice.

His near-growl only made her want it more. She moved back and forth, she could feel the smooth pearls getting wetter and gliding between her folds. This was so much better than Shakespeare.

Alec’s hands were at her waist, sensing the roll of her hips, anticipating them to raise his leg.

Hannah’s nails dug into his knee with the effort of holding back.

She slid her hand up his thigh, and he nearly jumped when she touched his crotch. Thank god for those tight trousers. Teasing him turned her on even more. She wondered if she could come from this.

Through her shirt, Alec tugged at the string of pearls, and her mouth fell open.

“Again,” she whispered.

He did as told, sending sparks through her core.

-

Hardy was almost painfully hard, grinding against her bum as subtly as he could in a cheap folding chair. He shouldn’t come like this, there would be an embarrassing stain at the front of his trousers. He focused on her pleasure instead.

A primitive, somewhat twisted part of him wanted to make her come like this, with all these people around.

He had an idea to get her off. She often asked him to talk dirty, especially on the phone, but he could rarely get over the embarrassment of doing so. Tonight, she made him bold.

“You’ll pay for being such a tease,” he whispered against her neck.

“Tell me.”

“As soon as we get into the car, my hand will be between your legs.”

“Yeah?”

“And it will stay there until we get home and you won’t be allowed to come.”

It was working, her eyes glazed over and her thighs clamped around his.

“Then you’ll strip for me. Show me that lingerie. That lace had better be soaked through.”

Hannah shook her head yes. He could feel her heat as she humped his leg.

“I’ll bend you over the table.”

He knew she liked that, when they didn’t even make it to the bed, and just shoved their jeans out of the way.

Hardy ran his fingers through her hair and tugged, just a little, but the effect on Hannah was unmistakable. He pulled at the string of pearls again, and she swiveled her hips as fast as she dared.

The first act of the play finished, and, as the audience clapped loudly, Hannah came undone.

[daisydallas97-blog]

Fashion Through the Decades

Unfortunately this week I could not attend the study tour but the class went to the Museum at FIT to have a curator take them through the different decades of fashion. Each decade has their own styles and trends that stand out and really represent that period of time and reflect what was going on in the world. My pictures are curtesy of a classmate, Kaylee Dibiase.

1920s :

The “Roaring 20s” is best represented to me in “The Great Gatsby” book and movie. The girls cut their hair and wore tubular silhouettes for a boyish look. The flapper girl was one of the most pronounced styles with details such as fringe. Men accented their looks with hats such as a fedora. Seen below is a great example of a dress from this time.

1930s:

This was during the Great Depression so things were scarce but cutting on the bias of fabric introduced amazing drapery of silk and other fabrics for evening wear. This showed off the shape of a woman and inspired the old Hollywood glamour that we think of today. Hem lengths were at the ankle and belts cinched in the waist. 

1940s: 

This post war time was all about hour glass silhouettes and A-line skirts that came down passed the knee. Padded shoulders were very in and this is when the first bikini debuted. Towards the end of the decade, supplies started becoming more populated after the war so there was more fabric and the ability to use more colorful patterns and even accenting pieces with different trims. Dior’s “new look” was the statement of this decade. 

1950s:

This decade was all about swing dresses that had the fuller skirts. Circle skirts known as “poodle skirts” were also popular and can be seen in a popular movie called “Grease”. Men were known as “greasers” and wore tight legged denim, converse, and leather jackets. One of my favorite trends from this time was neckties. 

1960s: 

Fashion icons such as Jackie Kennedy and Twiggy with the babydoll clothing trend were my favorite of this era. Mini skirts made their debut and the whole mod style included jumper and shift dresses. 

1970s:

The decade of the hippie style. Bell bottom jeans and disco were the statements of this decade. Women with long straight hair with a headband tied in it and men also with long hair were on trend. “Saturday Night Fever” the movie is a great representation of this time. 

1980s: 

Working out was on trend in this decade so colorful workout wear made from tight lycra was popular. Big hair and big accessories such as leg warmers and big earrings made an appearance. 

1990s:

Grunge was a huge part of this decade and the use of a lot of denim and denim sets. Matching sets overall really made an impact. Hair accessories such as butterfly clips and other things such as choker necklaces were big trends. 

Overall, there is so much to learn from history but it is cool to see some of these major trends that have been repeated in my lifetime. Fashion really is a big circle and can be seen when we pull inspiration from past looks. 

xoxo,

Daisy