#bother you again. he’d wish you well and block your number and never ever message you again even if he wants to

[hanasnx]

i love break-up fantasies, infidelity fantasies, arguments/fights fantasies, all my top top faves. and it’s so so difficult to imagine garrus fitting into any of them.

[kavikaslana]

S/O catching Setsuno, Chronostasis, Overhaul, Shigaraki, Denki, and/or Dabi cheating on them with their friend

Gotcha darling <3

My heart broke with shiggy’s with me being the simp I am, so I had to modify his a little bit.

I can’t think with overhaul right now, so you’re only getting 5 of them until I can clear my head. They also seem to get shorter as you go down the list, so sorry!

Angst | GN! reader | SFW

Shigaraki, Setsuno, Denki, Chrono (Hari), and Dabi getting caught cheating

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Dabi

He was gone for days at a time, and he never told you where he was going. His phone was always faced down when he set it down, and he changed his password. You just thought it was private information for the league. Slowly, he started to get cocky, leaving his notifications open for you to see. On the screen flashed your friend’s name and phone number.

Waiting until night, you silently followed him out the door, waiting an extra few minutes to make sure he wasn’t coming back. 

Standing only a few feet away, was your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, holding your friend like she’d disappear if he let go.

“Do you think they’ll find out?” she asked, her eyes locking with his.

“Don’t worry, I made sure they wouldn’t know. Besides, even if they did, I’d rather have you. I’m only with them for ranks.” he said. Your heart shattered like glass. Was that really why?

“I’m right here, assholes.” you said, making sure they could hear you loud and clear. Their heads instantly snapped back in your direction. “I thought I could trust both of you... I guess I thought wrong” you said quietly, trying to hold back your tears.

“Baby wait-” Dabi tried to speak, but unfortunately for him, all he got from it was a hard punch to his stomach. 

You ran away, immediately getting rid of any evidence that either of them had been in your life. The only thing you could do now was watch, leaving you to question what else in your life was fake...

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Shigaraki 

Eyes focused only on his figure as he held someone else in his arms. He promised to change the world for you, he promised you he’d do anything to make you happy. Was that all a lie?

“Shig- please tell me its a prank...” you said quietly.

He knew what he was doing, he knew it’d break your heart if you found out. He tried his best to hide it, but his “new lover” had found your number in his phone and messaged you to meet them somewhere. He didn’t care about them, he just needed the information they had. 

They spoke up. “Sorry sweetheart, guess your luck ran out! Oh well, you could always try again with someone else. Better luck next time!” they mocked, holding his hand tighter as he lowered his head in defeat. 

Your tears spilled from your eyes, soaking into the fabric of your clothes and the concrete below you. “I thought... I thought you loved me...” you said in defeat, your voice cracking as you lowered your head, refusing to met their glare. 

He let go of them and approached you, holding you like his life depended on it. “I didn’t mean it, let me explain... please! I’ll do anything! I did it for us, Y/N, I swear! Please... don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone again.” he whispered in your ear as the person behind him glared daggers at you. His tears soaked into your shirt as his grip only tightened. 

He picked you up and carried you back to your shared apartment, setting you down on the counter as he kissed your cheek, trying to fix his mistake. He shouldn’t have taken the offer, not if it meant there’d be a chance you’d leave him. His tears mixed with your own as you stayed silent, an occasional sob falling from your lips as he tried to show you that he didn’t mean it.

“It was for you, I’ll explain later if you wish. Just please don’t go, I can’t handle that...” he said softly, “I promise I’ll fix it, I promise I’ll be a better boyfriend, I swear on my life I’ll make it alright, I’ll do anything you want, just don’t leave. I need you, Y/N. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, just don’t go... please. We’ll go wherever you want, you can keep me locked up in a room for all I care, I just want you, no one else! I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” 

He went back to kissing you, stopping to wipe yours tears and his as he pulled you against him. For the rest of the night, you stood there with him, trying to process what had happened, and what he promised you. 

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Denki

You knew Denki was a flirt, you knew what you had gotten yourself into when you agreed to go on a date with him. You never thought he’d take it this far though.

He promised you that he never meant anything he said to them, he promised you that you were the only one for him, and that everyone else was just entertaining, nothing else.

Yet here he was, kissing your childhood friend, the two people you would trust with your life, had torn you apart atom by atom. 

“Why... What’d I do wrong! If you weren’t happy, you could’ve just been honest...” you said, tears already forming in your eyes as only your “friend” turned to look at you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t think we were serious.” he said, his tone casual and energetic, like he didn’t even care. 

You ran down the block, only your friend went after you.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry! He told me he was single, I didn’t know anything, I promise! If I had known, I would’ve declined his offer...” she said, tears going down her face as well. She seemed more apologetic than Denki ever was. 

“I-... I can’t just forgive you, y’know? I’m sorry, you can have him, I don’t care anymore. Just don’t talk to me again, I just need time to think...” 

All she did in response was nod her head.

You slid down the wall of a bookstore, watching people across the street, specifically couples, trying to imagine that was you and Denki instead of two unfamiliar faces.

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Chronostasis 

Hari Kurono, a respected thug, in a relationship with Y/N L/N. You knew it was too good to be true. He was pretty, he had some power, and he was a respected yakuza member, second only to Overhaul. 

You were taking care of Eri for the day, you were going to take her to an amusement park, but you came back to grab your bag. In your shared room, was Hari with another woman. His mask was off, and the girl was swooning over him. She even kissed him, and he didn’t do anything, You stood there in silence, slowly backing out, but a floorboard creaked. 

“Y/N?! It’s not what it looks like!” He frantically shouted, pushing the girl off of him and running to you. 

“Really? Then tell me, why are there lipstick marks on you? I don’t even use makeup, jerk!” You yelled back, trying not to curse since Eri was in the next room over. 

You ran out before a big scene could form. You’d deal with it later, but you didn’t want to cry in front of Eri. You picked her up and ran out, not even bothering to look back as he called out for you. 

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Setsuno

He left his mask on your bed. You thought it was a mistake, since Overhaul always made him wear his mask. After about an hour of searching for him, you decided to track his phone. Overhaul would kill him if he found out he didn’t take his mask. 

As you approached the spot he was supposed to be at, it led you straight to a restaurant, one that he would always take you to for date nights. You saw the familiar green shirt and yellow hair, but there was someone else. He noticed you right away as you dropped his mask, taking the knife that was in it. 

He chased you out of the restaurant, frantically calling out your name. “Y/N! Wait! Slow down, I can explain! Please just listen to me!” he yelled, but you continued to sprint down the street, his knife still in your hand. 

He caught up with you and grabbed your wrist. You turned back to face him as he took the knife from you, throwing it across the road. 

“Y/N, please listen to me! I-” he started, only to be cut off by a hard slap to his face.

“Toya! I trusted you! You always said how much you hated cheaters, and here you are, cheating on me with some slut! I’m fucking done with this! Tell Overhaul I quit, I don’t ever want to see you again!’“ You yelled back. His heart broke as he realized what you said, that you were right.

The thing that had broke him had broke you, and it was all his fault. He watched as you walked away, your tears dropping onto the sidewalk. When he got back, your things were already gone, and you had already blocked him on every platform you could think of. He sank to the floor as he cried, his hair covering his face. 

You had forgotten something.

Under the bed, was a box he had given you. It was filled with pictures of you two, gifts he had given you, jewelry, plushies, knives with your names engraved in them, everything. He started picking out object from the box, until he had found a small black box. Inside was ring.

The same ring he has proposed to you with, the very thing he had sworn to love you forever with, was in his hand. He had covered the box with small hearts and even put a picture of you two inside of it. It was the exact same ring, and it was still in perfect condition. He picked it out for you, and you had taken great pride in it, showing it off to the other precepts as you dragged him around with you. His heart broke into a million pieces. The only difference now, was that you were gone. 

There were so many things he wanted to do with you, so many things he wanted to experience with you. He would’ve loved to start a family with you, and don’t get him started on marrying you. He could’ve died peacefully knowing you were his partner for life. Now, he would never get to do that.

 All he had left of you was a small box, flashing memories that he wished he could have back. A constant reminder of you, the perfect lover in his eyes, were now out of his reach, all because of him.

[ushidoux]

Be My Last - Iwaizumi x Reader

Summary: You have trouble getting over a past relationship and it’s preventing you from moving forward. (~3.5k words)

Warnings: stubborn ass reader, very slight nsfw at the end

A/N: It took me a long time to write this because I have trouble with fluff and also trouble with characterizing Iwa lmfao, I might need a second watch. I hope you enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving!

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

---

“Are you serious?! Are you really saying no to this face?”

Your best friend was now leaning so far across the fast food dining table that she had practically climbed on top of it, holding up her phone just inches from your face to force you to take a better look at the picture of the blind date she had arranged for you. 

Your eyes crossed uncomfortably by reflex and you pulled back sharply to grab the phone from her and take a better look. On second glance, you had to admit that the guy standing next to Oikawa was quite good-looking, a couple inches shorter but with a sturdier build, sharper features and just enough scowl in his facial expression to intrigue you. 

In fact, he was exactly your type.

“Just one date,” your friend insisted. “You’ve been pining over your ex for almost a year now! You don’t have to fall in love but maybe a small distraction? Plus, double dates would be so fun, come onnnnn~”

Your friend was only rarely this animated so you knew she really wanted this but the idea of even considering romance again after being dumped so harshly before was so undesirable that you stubbornly shook your head instead and took another bite of your burger.

“___, please?”

You frowned, and your friend’s pout grew deeper once she realized there was a pretty good chance you wouldn’t budge about this. After all, you’d rejected every single person that so much as looked in your direction so effectively these past few months that it had essentially become an afterthought.

She leaned back in her seat, occupying herself now with picking out a particularly long fry off of the platter you were sharing, trying to minimize her disappointment. Despite how much she hoped you would say yes, she could understand why you felt the way you did.

“I’m sorry,” you offered, sipping on your drink. She let out a defeated sigh.

“Well, I’ll try to figure out a compassionate way to let Iwa now that you’re not interested. Honestly, Oikawa will probably be more offended by it than me.”

At this last comment, her eyes twinkled softly with a mild amusement and she started to text her boyfriend. However, knowing that it would possibly be a bigger deal to reject Oikawa’s best friend right off the bat than to just endure a date once, you reconsidered.

“Fine! Stop, I don’t need Tooru yelling in my ears. I’ll go.”

She smiled. You’d fallen right into her trap.

---

Exactly 72 hours later almost to the minute, you found yourself standing before the duo of childhood friends at the entrance of a town fair, your friend by your side.

Oikawa’s partner-in-crime was, to both your surprise and chagrin, even better looking in person. Kinder too, if you discounted the glare he shot at Oikawa when he introduced him mock affectionately as ‘Iwa-chan, his very best friend in the whole wide world’. You stifled a laugh as Iwa released Oikawa from a headlock, and introduced yourself politely to him noticing the very faint pinking of the ears that accompanied the softening of his expression as he shifted his attention to you.

A small fluster you couldn’t help but find cute was evident in his voice as he shared his full name - Iwaizumi Hajime. Strike one. 

Strike two was the careful distance he left between you two as you walked through the street fair, just steps behind Oikawa and your friend who trekked confidently and comfortably linked hand in hand. His questions were respectful but pointed, like he truly wanted to get to know you as much as possible, and as he listened he leaned in just so, making sure to hear you clearly over the bustle of the busy crowds.

He helped you with your safety belts as you strapped in together on small thrill rides and you could catch his furtive glances in the corner of your eyes as you laughed and screamed.

A part of you wondered if it was too quick, if it was a bad omen that he already appeared smitten with you despite having just met. However, you had missed the feeling of someone liking you genuinely and explicitly so, dating back from even before you had started having problems in your last relationship, so you appreciated it wholeheartedly.

Strike three was him immediately setting a time and a date to meet again, without the hovering presence of your best friends, which he emphasized loudly to listening ears behind you (Oikawa made his disappointment at being excluded quite apparent by groaning loudly within earshot).

“I really enjoyed spending time with you today, ___.”

It wasn’t too much, wasn’t too little and wasn’t too soon.

“So did I.” You replied with a smile more genuine than you’d had for months.

---

Date two went as smoothly as date one.

Dinner and a movie, a classic. Iwa had chosen a psychological thriller that you had been looking forward to for a couple weeks and prior to meeting you’d started to text back and forth regularly about theories, so thereafter sprang forth endless spirited debates. As the evening progressed, you noticed him yielding earlier and earlier, and you noticed that he got quieter as the night went on, preferring to sit back and watch you talk. You couldn’t tell if it was the few cocktails with dinner but soon you were distracted by eyes that rested on you easily with an accompanied smile. It was enough to make your face grow warm.

“Am I talking too much?” You asked, sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I get like this when I’m excited.”

“I love hearing you talk,” he replied with a small laugh. “No one can talk as much as Oikawa so don’t worry.”

Your smile spread from ear to ear and you could feel your bruised heart grow ever so slightly.

---

Date three, four and five had you swept off your feet and you found yourself falling between hikes, picnics and aquarium trips. 

Which was why when your friend called you to gloat about how she was right about you two all along, you realized just how deep you had fallen and almost instantly, that familiar fear that you had been nursing for the past year settled back into your consciousness.

You couldn’t bear another heartbreak. The thought of Iwa’s warm smiles becoming addictive and constantly craving the feel of his hands on your skin only to then be discarded like a participation ribbon hung heavy on you.

“I.. I don’t think I can keep seeing him,” you said, in sudden realization, despite the fact that you had been gushing about your dates just minutes earlier.

You could hear a pause on the other end of the line, and then your friend asked softly, “Is it because you still miss him?” 

The other him. Of course you did, you still lived in the apartment the two of you had shared right after college, having given yourself multiple excuses not to move out. You hadn’t even bothered to change the decorations you’d bought together and thus every part of this place reminded you of him. 

You even watered the plants he had left behind every morning. You couldn’t tell if it was because you had grown attached to them or worse - because you thought maybe, just maybe, if he ever came back, he’d want to know that you were always nursing your love.

“I’m… not sure,” you replied.

Your friend sighed audibly into the phone.

“You’re missing out on someone great, but I’ll support you regardless.”

---

Your graduate classes ended late the next evening, and you stumbled into your apartment with mild exhaustion, kicking off your shoes and slipping off your jeans before plopping on your bed.

Iwa had said he wanted to come see you, and even though just a few days ago you had been excited at the prospect of spending time with him in your own home, your stomach fluttered with a different type of alarm when you considered the fact that if you were to tell him you were no longer interested in letting whatever was between you bloom, it would have to be now.

Would it be better to tell him over text message or on the phone or in person? You didn’t want to see the look on his face when you hurt him; you knew it would change your resolve. 

If you called him on the phone, would you be able to withstand hearing the disappointment in his voice? Would he demand a reason, and would he tell you your weak one wasn’t enough?

If you sent him a simple text and then blocked his number, would you be the awful person too chickenshit to say the words to his face?

Your phone buzzed just as you were paralyzed with your choices.

I’m 20 minutes away. How was your class?

You froze.

20 minutes to make a decision. Would you have him come all this way just to drop him without a very good reason in the comfort of your own home?

You stared at your phone for five minutes longer, perseverating, only to be startled out of your trance when you saw his name flash over the front. You forgot you had read receipts on; it had never been a problem before.

“Hey, are you okay?” His voice dripped of concern. “You read but didn’t answer.”

“Y-yeah, of course! Class was good… I’ll see you in a bit.”

---

You soon wished you hadn’t let Iwa into your apartment. Now that he was here snuggled with you on the couch, close enough that you could take in his scent, all you could think of was the thought of his lips on yours.

5 dates and you hadn’t yet kissed. Maybe that was for the best, you were planning to break up with him anyway, weren’t you?

You weren’t exactly sure when you had crept so close to each other, but your head now rested gently on his shoulder and his hand had at some point snaked around your waist to pull you against him. You could feel your heart pound in your chest as you stayed close in the dark, and maybe you could feel his own heart beat, steady as his breathing despite the tension building in the air.

You had lost track of the plot of the movie on your flat screen long ago, too preoccupied with the flurry of potential ensuing scenes between you in your head.

What would stop you from going full speed ahead? The fear that you wouldn’t matter enough to him once months came to pass and he learned just how far short you fell from his perfect perception of you? Or that you would once again find yourself in darkness, wondering how many times you’d open your heart only to wish you had kept it guarded?

Or maybe it was the reality that you weren’t sure that you really wanted to move on?

Iwa was a good person, he didn’t deserve your hesitation.

He shifted ever so slightly beside you and in the backlight of the flashing scenes on the television screen, you could see his eyes settle on your lips.

“Is it okay if we-,” he started, only to be interrupted by the fact that you had already pulled him in by the shirt collar and were lost in the taste of him on your tongue. You could tell he was surprised, but Iwa leaned into your kiss, pulling you now fully onto his lap and holding you steady by the waist as the two of you made out. 

Your hands crept up to his face, fingers gently trailing then cupping the curve of his jaw, and the longer you kissed, the more of him you wanted. When his hands started to tug just slightly at the edge of your shirt to warn you he was going underneath, you tensed but nodded to allow him to palm a breast and roll a nipple between two fingers.

A soft moan left you, renewed when Iwa’s lips left your mouth to kiss a spot just before your earlobe, and his other hand pressed firmly into the small of your back to secure you even closer to him, close enough that you could feel his bulge pressing through his jeans and against your body. Knowing that you could feel him, he whispered breathily into your ear:

“I won’t continue if you don’t want me to.”

Did you want him to continue?

You pulled back from him to study his face, glowing with an earnest desire for you and suddenly you felt so guilty. 

“I… I think we should stop here,” you choked out, ignoring the warmth in your cheeks and the flicker of disappointment in his face, and you slowly climbed off him, embarrassed as you stood on your feet.

He didn’t ask why and replied with acceptance.

“Okay.”

---

What he didn’t accept was you finally telling him you no longer wanted to see him in a text message hastily conjured in the middle of the night after a particularly hard day.

He called immediately and you let the phone ring, biting your lip the entire six rings it took for him to give up. He didn’t leave a voice message, but sent you a short text.

I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Can we please talk?

You fought back the urge to cry as you turned over to go to sleep.

He called again in the morning, and when you ignored his call for a second time, the unreasonable part of you waited for a follow-up voicemail or text message which never came. Good for you. You couldn’t understand your own feelings right now and you didn’t deserve to have him sort them out for you.

At least if you acted like a bitch, he would drop you before you could change your mind.

---

“A text message? Really?”

Your friend had dropped by the following Saturday morning for brunch and while you had dreaded this conversation, you had expected it to happen and steeled yourself for the admonishment. You shrugged, avoiding looking at her in the eyes and focusing on watering the plants at your windowsill. Your friend watched you carefully, irritation bubbling within her in response to your stubborn silence.

“I wouldn’t be so insistent if I knew you didn’t like him, but you do! Everyone can see it!”

You didn’t reply, opening your blinds instead. Plants needed lots of sun in addition to water.

“___, I didn’t want to be harsh but he’s not coming back. Even if it’s not with Iwa, please… please get over him.”

You finally turned and gave her a meaningful look, tears now coming to your eyes. Your friend’s mouth fell slightly ajar and realizing just how harsh her truth had been, she got up from your kitchen table and walked over to you to envelop you in a hug as you came undone.

---

A total of three weeks passed, and you finally admitted to yourself that you missed Iwa but it was clearly too late to fix anything. Calling him up would just get you ignored (and rightfully so) and you couldn’t bear to send another text message after ghosting him. Instead you watered your ex’s plants and focused on your classes.

Your best friend had forgiven you for your cruelty even though she let you know she was still suffering from Oikawa’s wrath on your behalf, so instead you decided to distract yourself by going out with other friends and picking up new hobbies.

A girl you were getting to know from class was very excited about a new high-end gym that had opened with nice amenities including a pool and a sauna and free physical training sessions with membership so you indulged her by going as a guest on a weekend.

You had to admit that the place was beautiful, and you made a beeline for the elliptical, a tried and true contraption. She had been making a fuss about one of the instructors being attractive which you had in all honesty paid very little attention to, until she dragged you by the arm to hiss into your ear.

“There he is, don’t look too obviously.”

You turned to find yourself staring straight at Iwaizumi Hajime, physical trainer.

“Oh shit, he’s looking at you,” she whispered, but you were already making your way to the exit. “Wait, where are you going?”

Your pace had gone from a walk to almost a run.

“____!” you heard him call behind you as you scurried as fast as you could off of the premises. Embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.

His voice was starting to sound aggravated, and your run stuttered to a standstill. What were you doing? Running from someone because you told them you didn’t want to date them?

He caught up to you in the parking lot and he no longer smiled; there was a tinge of mild irritation that graced his facial expression as he looked at you.

“Please stop running from me. You don’t need to make it awkward… I... I’m not thinking about it.” He glanced away at the last statement, but you knew he was being sincere while you were being ridiculous.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, and you thought maybe you would say more but he cut you off.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Have a good workout. If you need any help, I’m available, as are the other instructors.”

Professional and curt, he bowed before turning, and before you realized what you were doing, you found yourself tugging onto the sleeve of his shirt to hold him back. When he looked back to you again, while he didn’t give you the fierce scowl he reserved for Oikawa, his expression was still harsh as he looked down at you, waiting to see what you had to say.

What did you want to say? You already said you were sorry, there wasn’t much else to add.

Words failed you and you recoiled ever so slightly. He sighed audibly, and turned fully to face you.

“___, please don’t play with my feelings.”

You deflated as he waited just a few more moments for you to come up with the courage to say you still wanted him, and when you were unable to come up with the words, he bowed again, and returned to the building. 

Moments later, you texted your friend to tell her you were sorry, but you were going home immediately.

---

It was a few minutes past 9pm and you had all but forgotten the sting of Iwa’s words as you focused on homework, listening to lo-fi music to help you concentrate. Your phone buzzed once, and you expected maybe your classmate to yell at you again for ditching her, but instead you found a message from Iwa. 

I’m sorry for speaking to you that way.

Your heart thumped hard once in your chest, and you flipped your phone over to get back to work, but it was too late. Your concentration was shot for the night.

I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say, a second message read.

What would happen if you wore your heart on your sleeve just one more time? 

Iwa called you before you could call him, and this time you picked up, breathing a hesitant “Hello?” into the phone.

“___, I like you. A lot,” he paused, as those words sank into your heart. “I’m sorry, I wanted to get that out of the way.”

“I do, too,” you replied just as quickly. 

Another pause. You swallowed hard and continued,

“I just don’t want to hurt you.”

His reply was fast. “You couldn’t if you tried.”

You frowned. “You don’t understand… I still think I have some unresolved feelings for someone else, and I just… I don’t want to wrong you in the long run.”

Another pause. You pressed your eyes shut, anticipating the worst, whatever it was. It felt as though you were on the line for ages, until suddenly Iwa finally spoke.

“Try me.”

“What?” Your shock was audible, and he repeated himself. 

“Use me if you need to.”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying. 

“But-”

“I know we’ve only been seeing each other for a short time, but I can’t explain it… I know I’m willing to risk it.” The confidence in his voice was almost shocking, and it made your heart swell. 

“Hajime…” 

“May I come over?”

---

The conversation ended with Iwa promising you that he’d make you forget your ex, your faces now just inches from each other, him hovering above you as you laid on your back in the comfort of your bed, eyes feasting on his exemplary physique. Starting up where you left off just three weeks prior, you held onto him for dear life as his hips rolled against you, his body pistoning into you carefully and precisely, his hands gentle and steady, and both of your hearts full.

If you were worried about using him, then don’t. Use him as much as you need to. He was giving you permission, is what he said.

Would you take advantage of him? 

Now that you were in his embrace, you found it unlikely: for the very first time in a year, you knew that while you weren’t in love yet, you could feel yourself falling very, very soon.

[robinofinashiro]

request by anonymous: “can i get some my hero angst. maybe where there’s an argument between them and the reader and it blows up terribly. you can decide on the rest of the details. two characters is fine!”

request status: CLOSED

characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Mirio Togata

Bakugou Katsuki: 

you two were practically a match made in heaven. it wasn’t easy to tell that you held Bakugou down without much trouble. some praised while some were just genuinely confused. 

but because of that, there were some things that did tick the both of you off. the two of you had very ‘aggressive’ sides to each other and when arguments did happen, good lord, help any person who was around to hear it. the loudness happening between the two of you could be rivaled to that of present mic’s booming voice. 

the thing that caused this argument was how Bakugou kind of didn’t like how comfortable you were around your friends (specifically the boys). you were very laid back, not caring how you talked or ate, and while the boys no problem in it, it irked Baku’s nerve. sometimes he just wished you were a bit more feminine. 

+

you were sitting down with Kaminari and Sero having coffee after class. Friday nights you usually spent your night with them, relaxing after a hard week, and really just trying have fun with each other before the week started up again. 

Bakugou on the other hand had a terrible day to say the least. he got bitched at by Aizawa, Midoriya had beat him in training, and you were just not there dotting on him as you should have. you were with Kaminari and Sero, laughing and talking with him. 

as you took another sip of your coffee, you let an unintentional burp out, not realizing how loud it was. Kaminari’s eyes widened as Sero started to laugh hysterically. you covered your mouth in embarrassment as Bakugou rolled his eyes. 

“you might as well grow a dick if you’re going to act like that.” 

you immediately looked to Bakugou, your eyes fluttering to anger and confusion, “excuse you?” you asked. it wasn’t hard to tell. whenever you got pissed off, it was easy to see the rage in your eyes and your jaw clenching almost immediately. 

“you heard what I said. it’s like you have no manners,” Bakugou retaliated. you scoffed, “please, like you’re the last one to talk about having manners Mr.I get pissed off at any living and breathing thing,” you retorted. 

Sero and Kaminari remained silent, not really knowing how to leave the situation. Bakugou, this time, laughed as you drank your coffee, waiting for his response. 

“at least I have table manners. it isn’t lady like. at least girls like Mina don’t do things like that and don’t even get me started on your mouth. it’s like you’re trying to break us up.” 

this time, your eyes widened but not in anger, in sadness. Bakugou had never compared you to someone before. he had never shown you this side before and frankly, you had no idea how to respond. 

“fine.” 

you grabbed your coffee cup, slamming it in the sink before basically charging up the stairs to your dorm room. Sero and Kaminari gave him a look before awkwardly. Bakugou had never argued this badly with you before and he had no idea that in the heat of the moment, he basically insinuated that he wanted to break up. 

Bakugou growled at himself, immediately texting you that he was sorry but what he got in return was a delivered sign before it read that he was no longer able to send or receive messages from you. you had blocked his number and honestly, he understood why. 

the next morning, he woke up in a worse mood. you were not bothering him with a million messages, his number was still blocked but the slight upside to this was that you were downstairs eating breakfast and in a better mood from what he could tell. 

he groggily made his way downstairs to see you with Kaminari and Midoriya which immediately put worsened his mood. you were still the same old you but as soon as you realized he walked, you remained silent, not speaking which threw Midoriya off but Kaminari quietly told him he’d tell him later. 

Bakugou remained in the kitchen for a while as he made his breakfast. in that time, the conversation was still going but you were practically silent the entire time and whenever you did speak, it looked like you watched what you were saying and kept your voice EXTREMELY quiet. 

he found it weird to not see you in your usual personality. you weren’t as excited or loud as you usually were. your attitude went a full 360 every time he was around you for the rest of the weekend. you had unblocked his number, him immediately apologizing as you gave him a simple ‘it’s fine’ as a reply. 

come Monday morning, all of you had class again. you had made it to class before Bakugou did as you were just hanging Kirishima and Sero. you personality was back to it’s original state but as soon as Bakugou walked in, you fell silent. he walked over to you, putting his arm around you. 

the conversation went to a few murmurs with you only speaking up quietly every so often. everyone throughout the day could tell the switch in your personality every time Bakugou was around. you went from your usual self to as quiet as Momo. 

Bakugou noticed. he would be an idiot not to see it. he saw the way you were with everyone else, loud, excitable, slightly annoying, but as soon as he walked in, you did the flip and just stayed quiet. once the day ended, he was above the point of being annoyed. he was pissed off at himself because he hurt the one person who meant the world to him. 

you had made your way to your room after class ended to get work done. you were studying for a Hero Law’s exam, dry texting Bakugou before hearing a bang on your door. you had felt yourself jump out of your skin in fright before approaching the door. 

“hey,” you said quietly to Bakugou. he didn’t say much before basically slamming your door shut, “what the fuck is wrong with you? you’ve been acting weird since we’ve fought and even after I apologized,” he stated. 

you didn’t know what to say so you stayed quiet for a moment. he huffed as you finally looked up at him, “you said you wanted someone ladylike and feminine so I became what you wanted,” you muttered. 

Bakugou sighed, of course that was why you were acting all weird. he grabbed your hand and while you wanted to pull he away, he didn’t let you, “stop. i was being a dick. i didn’t mean any of that. i was having a bad day. you’re fine and you shouldn’t change who you are because of my dumbass,” he practically begged. 

you sighed, finally relaxing into his touch. 

mirio togata: 

it wasn’t a secret. mirio was a flirt with many people. that was just who he was but as soon as he laid his eyes on you, it was over. he wanted to flirt with you and you only. it was practically love at first sight more him. 

but that didn’t stop his flirtatious ways from coming up again after a few months of dating. you saw him talking to girls the same way he did when he first showed interest in you, sometimes even flirting with your closest friend, and while it didn’t bother you at first, it slowly crept up to burning jealousy. 

tamaki and nejire had noticed your saddened expression whenever he did that and tried comforting you whenever they could but they could tell it was coming in one ear and going out the other. 

it was getting harder and harder to catch his attention and you felt that as his girlfriend, you shouldn’t have to fight this hard for your OWN boyfriends attention. 

finally, you had confronted mirio about it and for whatever reason, it blew up to an even bigger argument than you anticipated it to be. 

+

“mirio please, just try to understand where I’m coming from,” you whispered. you weren’t trying to fight with him for various reasons. one: it was extremely early in the morning and two: both of you were planning on going to a party later in the night and didn’t want to ruin the night for the two of you.

he ruffled your hair in a way that pissed you off even more. it was demeaning in a way and it irked you even more, “imagine if I flirted with every guy I spoke too? would you be upset?” you asked. he shrugged, “well yeah!” he exclaimed, “so why is it a problem when you do it and I get mad?” you asked again. 

mirio sighed, “you’re just overthinking it and letting your jealousy get the best of you. you’re no fun when you’re like this,” your eyes widened, not believing what he was saying. you grabbed your phone, “whatever, have fun tonight togata. you can fuck any girl at the party for all i care,” you yelled as you got up to leave.  

“sunshine,” he tried to say as you turned around to give him the middle finger before slamming the door shut. you practically marched to your room with one thought in your mind, “he wants to play this game? fine,” you murmured as you dug into your closet. 

the night crawled in as you finished getting ready. you were wearing something very out of your element. it was clothes you just had laying around, no intention of ever wearing but with the events from the morning and your plan already stapled in your head, the outfit was perfect. 

you were wearing short shorts, fishnets underneath them with a crop top that showed your cleavage. you felt extremely weird wearing it but the party wasn’t in the dorm building and everyone attending had to wear non-UA sanctioned clothes to get away with not getting caught. 

the party was at a house a few blocks down. you had worn a jacket that covered everything you had too until you got to the house. once you finally got there, the house was blaring music, you could see a few kids already getting drunk, and everyone packed inside. 

you gave your jacket to the host, him complementing you almost immediately. you had seen Mirio with Tamaki and Nejire in the corner but you didn’t bother to say hi as you went to your other group of friends and talked with them. they had poured you a cup of what they called Jungle Juice (take it from someone in a sorority, don’t drink that shit. it’s basically gasoline that will have you in the bathroom puking for hours), and you chugged it down as if it was water. 

“hey, ( your name ) is here,” tamaki inquired. they had known about the argument and while mirio had every intention of apologizing tomorrow, he saw the way you were dressed and made him drool, “go to her!” nejire said. 

mirio was about to get up but he saw one too many guys already surrounding you. you were basically entertaining them, laughing and giggling with them as they offered to buy you more drinks and even ditch the party with them. 

“wanna dance?” one of the guys asked. you nodded, getting up from the couch and clutching onto your drink as you joined him on the dance floor. both of you were slightly tipsy at this point and practically yelling the words to the song, “i haven’t had this much fun in so long,” you exclaimed to the boy. 

you had the boys jacket wrapped around you as you leaned into him and screamed in random drunkness. now everything was making sense to mirio. this is how you felt whenever he was this way with girls but the thing was, boys never crowded around you the way girls did with him and frankly, he hated the way they were around you. 

the boys were staring at your chest every time you jumped up or danced and he wanted nothing more than to just deck them in the nose. as he watched you entertain the boys, his nerves were getting more and more short. he saw you look at him from time to time and basically brushed him off to talk with everyone else. 

finally, you got up to use the bathroom when you felt mirio walking your way. you immediately locked the bathroom door, taking as much time as you wanted, freshening up your makeup and popping in a mint before walking out again. 

“hey!” mirio’s voice said from behind you. you gave him a simple nod before walking down the stairs, grabbing your drink from one of the boys and taking a sip, “can we talk?” he asked. 

you gave him a confused look, “nah, we can talk tomorrow. i’m having fun and you’re probably busy flirting with girls so just save whatever you have to say,” you said with no remorse in your voice, “i haven’t spoken to any girls all night,” he muttered. 

“that’s a first! you should probably get on that, huh?” you said before walking away, “see you later mirio.”  

mirio felt himself wanting to cry as he replaying the words you told him when you first got together. ‘don’t forget, you play with my heart and you’re easily replaceable’. he continued to watch you dance and sing with different people almost as if you had already moved on and forgot about him. 

the night finally came to an end as you grabbed your jacket from the boy and started to make your way to the dorm room. mirio had left the party by then and while you had known that your words were kinda harsh, he finally got a taste of his own medicine. 

you slowly walked to your dorm room but not without seeing mirio standing at the front of it. you sighed, not really wanting to deal with all of this so late at night. 

“what do you want togata?” you asked annoyed. he walked inside of the dorm with you, “i’m sorry,” he basically spat out. you laughed as you started to undress yourself and put on your pajama shorts, “i guess i kind of deserve what i got tonight,” he continued. 

“no, really?” you said sarcastically. he nodded in shame, “i finally felt how you feel when i’m that way with other girls and it isn’t fair to you,” you finally gave him a look before rolling your eyes and hugging him, “i promise i’ll try to stop girls from getting close to me and all of that.”

you nodded as you bent him down to give him a kiss, “it shouldn’t have taken me to do all of that to get you to realize it, mirio,” you said softly, “just take what i say in consideration next time instead of gaslighting me.”

mirio nodded as he held you closer, muttering how jealous he was of the guy you were with and how that should have been him. you knew at the end of the day, mirio was just an overgrown baby who could didn’t need a lot to be hushed so you took him into your bed to snuggle him, quickly changing his mind with something else.

[mcybank]

rendezvous pt. 2

( rafe cameron x female! reader )

part one

word count 1.6k

warnings angst and swearing!!

author’s note FIRSTLY, I’M SORRY. i am physically incapable of writing excessive fluff and happy endings but do i write a part three because i feel like this is so unfinished🥺

summary rafe cameron keeps on hurting the reader yet she cannot find herself letting go of the boy who isn’t even hers by suppresing her pain.

tags @poguemacking @drew-starkey @myjjbaby @pixelated-pogues @snkkat @pogue-writings @downbytheouterbanks @kitluvs1 @maybankiara​ @drewtruly​ @obxmxybxnk​ 

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          You couldn’t help but find yourself thinking about Rafe the moment you woke up, surprised that you managed to get a few hour's worth of sleep. Your mind still stuck on what he was doing, moreover, who he was doing it with at that particular moment. 

Rafe always found himself sending you a message in the morning, even after the two of you broke up and considered yourselves to be on bad terms, he never forgot to send you a good morning message. Maybe he woke up a little late, you thought, but after hours went by and the clock struck four in the afternoon, you knew he was engaged in something else. This. This was what you wanted yourself to stay away from. You can’t be, you shouldn’t be attached to him when he isn’t even yours. 

In his defense, he had forgotten. It had completely slipped his mind to message you when he woke up. He doesn’t really think of you, his ex-girlfriend when there is another girl beside him. It was difficult for you to not call him, to steer away from him and thinking about him. After all, he’s not yours. 

A few hours rolled by quite quickly, you were still taking inventory in the comfort of your messy, unmade bed with your laptop binging shows that you’ve watched more times than you can count on your fingers. It was now a few minutes past 10 at night, you had eaten a well-serving dinner that made you want to throw your brains up due to the amount of food you had consumed, but it only took one text to change your mind. 

rafe wanna come by our place? i’ve got some burger and fries

Rafe was already at the place, he knew that you weren’t going to deny his offer, especially with the food coming as a bonus. And when he saw you walking towards him wearing black shorts along with his t-shirt, he couldn’t be happier. It wasn’t on purpose, you wore his clothes out of habit since a number of them were present in your closet and looked the most comfortable. “Look at you, wearing my clothes,” he gushed, his cheeks were heating up at the sight of you, and fortunately for him, you couldn’t spot that. Your lips pursed upwards as you took inventory beside him, he wasted no time by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer, pressing a kiss near your ear affectionately. 

“Where were you yesterday night?” you asked out of pure curiosity as you chewed on the fries brought by Rafe. He felt as though his throat was stuck, absolutely nothing was coming out of his mouth. He didn’t know how to answer you without sounding like the biggest asshole. “I, um, I was just hanging around,” you knew it by the way he spoke that he wasn’t just hanging around. 

Trying not to let a frown overcome your face, your lips molded into a fake smile and looked up at him enthusiastically. He knew that you knew. It’s not difficult to see through a person who you have dated for over a year, and loved for way too many. 

Deciphering your emotions instantly, he felt the need to hold you closer than ever in order to make you feel protected. “I love you, you know that, right?” it killed you every time he said that. It made you feel there was more to it, but there wasn’t. He’d be with another girl in a matter of days, if not hours if he got the chance. “I love you more,” you mumbled as you nuzzled your head into his neck, the warmth making your mind fuzzy as you felt all your problems fade away.

It was laughable. It was laughable to you how all your worries disappeared with him around, but he was the biggest problem you were facing. 

Rafe was wearing a hoodie that was a size larger than him; it wasn’t his usual attire, but it was your favourite. His hair wasn’t swept to the side elegantly, instead it was bedraggled and it looked nothing like the usual Rafe Cameron. He didn’t look like the person who always had his guard up, the hard, least-vulnerable boy in the Outer Banks. He was in his most natural state, one which he felt most comfortable in, and it was only with you. 

He played with the ends of your hair as he stared up at the night sky. The clock was nearing 11:15 and you had no plans of leaving. Rafe’s mind was clouded with thoughts, ones he didn’t wish to entertain. He knew all too well what he did last night with another girl, but he couldn’t help but wonder if you’ve ever connected with another guy in that way after the two of you broke up.

The thought of that made him want to burst in tears. It was selfish, he knows, but he couldn’t help it. His possessive instincts couldn’t show themselves now like they did previously. Before he could muster up any words, you saw something fall from the pocket of his hood, landing on your leg. It was a plastic packet filled with white substance, of course. “Rafe,” you began, your eyes motioning down to his belonging that he believed to be his support system aside from you. “Fuck, sorry,” he mumbled hurriedly, his voice was laced with anger for some reason, and you didn’t know why. He picked it up and without second thought, stood up, nearly making you fall due to the sudden emptiness beside you. 

“I’ve got to go,” this time, he didn’t even say goodbye properly, didn’t kiss you nor hug you. He just left. For him, it was the only way he could handle this situation, no, the thoughts going on in his head. He had to run away from them. That’s what he did best. 

You just sat there, the cold breeze causing you to shiver as your eyes became glassy. These little rendezvous’ weren’t working, especially not in your favour. 

Hours flew by quickly; it was now 4 am. Your lips hovered over the ‘send’ button on your phone, trying to gain the courage to send Rafe a message. what was that all about? was the text you wanted to send. You went through a small crisis thinking about whether or not you should add a ‘lol’ or a laughing emoji at the end of the message, but you decided against it. You hit send. 

Rafe was doing what he does best; fleeing his problems, leaving them in the dust till they need to be dealt with. He was at Topper’s house, once again, but a girl whose name he didn’t even know was beside him, making lines for him. “So, what’s got you all worked up?” she inquired, her voice was calm but Rafe found it to be the most irksome voice he could hear at the moment. He was not going to talk to her about his life problems. Cutting off him before he could answer, she glanced at his phone which was placed on the table, the lightening up of the screen causing her attention. “Ooo, who’s y/n?” she teasingly spoke causing Rafe’s eyes to go wide. 

“Why’s y/n texting you at 4 in the fucking morning, dude? Begging to get back together with you or something?” Topper interjected after hearing the girl speak about you texting him. Rafe didn’t know what to do at that moment instead of lying, so he did. “Yeah, she’s being fucking annoying,” he laughed through his teeth, the lies pouring out of his mouth with no hesitance. The girl to his side let out a laugh, placing a hand on Rafe’s knee. “I’ll text back for you,” 

When you heard the notification sound for the messages app, following with the name of Rafe showing up, you felt yourself grin ear to ear. The effect he had on you was crazy, you hated it. But when you saw the profanity he had thrown your way, insinuating you to leave him alone, you surprisingly didn’t felt yourself become upset. You were numb, at this point. 

It was little things that made you become more and more weary of Rafe; the aura of perfume he’d never make use of radiating him when he came to your house with his hair disheveled and his eyes bloodshot. The hints that he mistakingly dropped about his meaningless one-night-stands which you always caught on to, but he never realised. The way Topper’s animosity went to an all time high when he saw you and when he poked fun about how much Rafe loathed you after your breakup. You knew there was a lot going on behind the scenes, and they were things you had zero control over. 

Rafe, instantly after leaving the late-night scene at Topper’s house, messaged you a plethora of sorries, telling you it wasn’t him who sent the text. He was honestly surprised that you hadn’t blocked him. Once you asked him who sent it, he didn’t want to lie, he couldn’t. He told you it was another girl he had met, and it was a mistake on his end to not give you any context. He allowed you to assume that he was just with another girl, which could only really mean one thing.

you: you left to hang out with her, right?

Maybe it was the way you wrote it. Maybe it was the way you used a comma before her, signifying perfect punctuation, something you never did on text. Maybe it was how he could visualize you saying that in real life, and his heart absolutely shattered to pieces. Rafe could play the victim card, he could say that he’s free to do so since you’re not dating, but he didn’t. He could notice how you always bit your tongue from saying something about his ongoings with other girls, and the one time you didn’t stop yourself from saying it, he knew that you were hurt. 

You couldn’t do it anymore. The times you had with him were ones you’d never trade for anything. But the way having these rendezvous’ instead of getting back with each other was bothering you. It was never going to be easy, you knew that. But it had become way too difficult to the point where it isn’t manageable anymore.

It wasn’t manageable because he hurt you, he did things that hurt you, and you couldn’t complain about it nor could you speak your mind on it because he wasn’t yours. It wasn’t manageable because you still wanted him more than ever. You can’t let go. 

[monaisme]

Day 2: “I can’t take this anymore.”

Day 2: “I can’t take this anymore.”

“Dude? Are you sure you’re okay? Ned asked for the millionth time. “Maybe you should call Mr. Stark?”

Peter refrained from rolling his eyes, wholly aware that it would definitely aggravate the headache that hadn’t dulled since, well... Flash. He pulled his binder and Spanish textbook out of his locker. “Ned, seriously, I’m—”

“...Still a loser! Isn’t that right, Penis?”

Peter barely had a chance to brace himself before Flash was slinging his arm and the entirety of his body weight over Peter’s shoulder and laughing. “I still can’t believe you didn’t see that soccer ball coming!”

Peter shoved Flash’s arm off. “Shut up, Flash.” Peter growled. “It’s sort of hard to see something coming when it’s behind you.”

Ned’s eyes widened. “But Pete?” he started, “Your Peter tin—”

How Ned had managed to keep Peter’s identity a secret so far was a mystery. “Yes! Ned!” Peter interrupted. “My Peter tinnitus!”

Ned floundered.

“Yeah, it totally sucks!” Peter’s eyes widened with panic. He definitely wasn’t getting any help from Ned. “It really only flares up when,” he lowered his voice and stared at Flash, “I’m shmucked in the head by uncoordinated teammates.”

“Who are you calling uncoordinated, loser?! That was precision at its finest. In fact, I should totally get someone to hack the school’s security system and get a copy for me! Imagine all the views on my TikTok! Oh! I know—I can loop it! The world will see your idiot face over and over and over... AND over!” Flash finally trailed off with dreams of viral video fame, then looked Peter dead in the eye. “You, Penis Parker, are the best target EVER! I don’t know why I bother with the others.”

Peter’s headache pulsed and he had to bite back a groan. “Look, can we save this for another time, Flash. I’m not in the mood.”

Flash stared at him for a second, blank faced, then quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, Parker, another time? Done. Let’s see how you feel after school, if that’s how you’re gonna be.”

“What? No way—”

“Stuff it, Penis.” Flash got up in his face. ”You’re about to be my new after school ‘appointment.’ Lucky for that foreign exchange student, huh?” With that declaration, Flash flicked Peter between the eyes and headed down the hall towards his own locker and out of sight.

Peter let himself fall back into the lockers and rubbed at his forehead with a defeated sigh.

“Peter?” Ned spoke quietly. “If you want, I can call Mr. Hogan for you. Mr. Stark gave me his phone number for emergencies and if this isn’t one then...”

“Ned, please stop.” Peter begged. “We have one more class and then I can head to the tower, take some painkillers, and forget about Flash and this crappy day.”

“But Flash said—”

“Ned, I know what he said!” Peter snapped, then took a hopefully calming breath. “Let me worry about it, alright? Flash is obviously having one of those days and you know it’s better me than someone else when he gets like this.”

Ned shook his head in disagreement. “Dude, no. Not today. You already feel like shit.”

“Well then, you can go and tell Raveed that Flash is looking for some after school entertainment!”

“Maybe if you talked to Morita...?”

“Seriously, man? Flash has the school admins by the gonads and you know it!” Peter pressed his fingers to his eyes trying to counter the pressure. “Do the iPads in the library generously donated by Harrison Thompson ring a bell?”

Ned snorted. “How someone named Harrison could CHOOSE to name their kid Eugene, I’ll never get it.”

Peter offered a fake chuckle in return as the warning bell rang. “Ugh, have fun in Comp Sci, man.” Peter moved into their handshake. “Meet you back here after class?”

“Naw, Pete, remember?” Ned’s hands followed Peter’s lead. “I’m getting picked up early. Dentist appointment.”

“Well, shit.” Peter huffed. “Wish me luck then.”

Ned bundled Peter in a hug, “Hello? Dentist?! You wish me luck!” Ned teased.”Besides, you don’t need luck, Pete. You’re Spider-Man.” And Ned left Peter standing alone in the hallway.

With no one to fool, Peter deflated.  He mumbled a ‘mierda’ and shuffled off to Spanish class.

* * * * * *

Regret.

That was all Peter could focus on as the clock ticked down through the last 20 minutes of class. He regretted not letting Ned call Happy and he definitely regretted leaving his phone in his locker. Now if he wanted to contact anyone, it was with his Starkwatch and that was not something he wanted to deal with. A text saying ‘Hey. Killer headache. Need drugs’ was one thing. Any message sent via the watch was forwarded to ALL of the Avengers—even the newly pardoned ones.

... And he sure as heck wasn’t dealing with them.

He should have listened to Ned.

Or called someone himself.

Or just drowned himself in the boys’ washroom sink to put himself out of his misery.

... And he still had to deal with Flash.

Crap.

Yup. So much regret.

10 minutes—5 minutes—2 minutes...

Time slowed to the point where he wondered if the Time Stone was in play. It was just a fleeting, silly thought, but still too soon. His stomach clenched as he thought back on the time when—

Peter jumped as the final bell of the day rang through the room.

Crap.

He swallowed back saliva, the nausea distracting from his headache for a moment. That is until Flash strutted past Peter’s desk, cuffing him across the back of the head, brightening his pain once again.

“Don’t keep me waiting, Parker!” Flash sang out as he exited the classroom.

Double crap.

He tried to drag it out, slowly packing away his school items with unnecessary care. He’d have taken forever if he could, but that dream died with Senora Ramirez’s, “Vamos, Peter! Rapido por favour!”

Smiling back weakly, he replied, “Si, Senora Ramirez. Adios.” And he skulked out the door.

The hallway was almost empty by the time Peter made it to his locker, thank goodness. While his enhanced healing had barely started to touch his headache, the exhaustion of his metabolism trying and tentative hunger battling with his queasiness were real and uncomfortable. The quiet was good.

He took some deep breaths. “Okay,” he thought, “No thinking about the stones at school.”

More focussed, Peter managed to open his locker and grab his phone as it buzzed with a new text but his attempt to read it was interrupted by a rough shove; Peter’s shoulder connecting painfully with the locker’s frame.

“What part of ‘Don’t keep me waiting’ did you not understand, Penis?” Flash grabbed Peter by the shoulder and spun him around. “This is a smart school, ya’ know. Or maybe Mr. Scholarship doesn’t understand, huh?”

Peter flushed in embarrassment. “I’m smart.” Peter whispered.

“Well, if you’re so smart, you wouldn’t have made me have to come back into the school. Or are you deaf, too?” Flash shoved Peter back into the lockers.

Peter remained silent.

Flash slammed Peter back again, his head snapping back, too. “Dammit, Parker! Why do you make me so angry?”

How could anyone answer that question?

Again, Peter impacted the lockers. “You’re so pathetic, Penis. Standing in the gym, begging me to make you suffer.” Peter slammed again. “It’s so satisfying,” Flash hissed. “You’re practically asking for this.” With that, Flash reared back his fist and slammed it into Peter’s cheek. Spider-Man or not, it hurt, and the white bursts of light behind his eyelids spoke to that.

Was he begging for it?

Peter’s thoughts wandered to the time, in that moment when he slid down the wall to the floor. Had Raveed managed to catch his bus? Was he running late? Maybe his host family had picked him up.

A rough kick to his side pulled him from his thoughts. “There. That’ll keep me going ‘til tomorrow.” Flash grinned and stepped away.

Peter exhaled in relief.

“Nah,” Flash landed another kick to his thigh. “I lied. THAT will keep me going ‘til tomorrow.” Flash turned and jogged down the hall. “See you then, loser!” He turned the corner and was gone.

Peter closed his eyes and tentatively rested his head against the locker. Okay. It was done. He was okay. Peter picked up the phone that had landed on the floor beside him—Raveed had to be gone by now.

His phone buzzed again.

3:04pm

TonyBaloney: Hey! Got Rogues in house for meetings. :(

3:07pm

TonyBaloney: Reschedule?

Peter closed his eyes and inhaled. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... and held the breath, only to lose his focus when his phone buzzed a third and fourth time.

3:08pm

TonyBaloney: Use that credit card. Buy some Thai for you and Aunt Hottie!

3:08pm

TonyBaloney: But don’t tell her I called her that!

3:08pm

TonyBaloney: Seriously, she’ll kill me.

Peter huffed out a real laugh at that. Aunt May would geld Mr. Stark if she ever found out his nickname for her. Not that he could tell her. But what was he going to do about the weekend? When Mr. Stark had invited him for the weekend, Peter was relieved. May was going away for some training conference in New Jersey and had told Peter to ask Mr. Stark to play babysitter. The spontaneous invite had kept Peter from looking like a kid and May got her wish. Win-win.

... and now none of that mattered.

3:10pm

PBWanKenobi: Np, Mr. STart. See you Tuesday?

3:10pm

PBWanKenobi: *Stark

His phone didn’t buzz again, and Peter didn’t expect it to. The Rogues tended to keep Mr. Stark pretty distracted. Besides, even feeling like hot garbage, Peter could still get excited about a suddenly free night of Spider-Manning. And really, how much energy would he expend helping little old ladies crossing the street?

* * * * * *

Hours later, Peter could ignore that deep ache across his shoulders and back and even the occasional tug as his mask stuck to the healing cut on his cheek. The headache was still a little much (read that as borderline unbearable), but he’d call the evening a win.

He was swinging and considering stopping at that new Mexican place across from the Dunkin’ Donuts for a burrito or two when his Spidey-senses flared and Spider-Man was twisting away from his original course toward an alley about a three blocks down the street.

His senses blared now. “Karen, call 9-1-1.”

“Peter, if I call now, you run the risk—”

“Don’t care.” His neck almost burned from the intensity. “Call now.”

A woman screamed in obvious pain.

“And tell them to send an ambulance.”

“Calling...” Karen responded and left Spider-Man to do what he did best. Save the day.

Spider-Man took no time to assess the situation and react: A man and a woman in a physical altercation- well, more like a behemoth of a man beating the shit out of this poor lady, oblivious to the fact that someone had joined the party.

She’d fallen unconscious, only held up by her hair grasped in his one hand as he pulled his fist back to punch her again with the other. A thwip of webbing and the man’s fist stopped in its path.

“Wha-?”

“Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?!” Spider-Man called out as he gave the webbing a yank and pulled the man away from his victim while blasting a cushion of webbing onto the concrete beneath the woman’s head.

The man’s initial confusion had passed quickly enough. He tried to remove the webbing from his right hand, but when that failed, simply went after Spider-Man with his left. “You got no business, here, ya’ freak!” He raged as he swung and missed. “She’s my woman! You got no say!” He swung and missed again.

“Dude,”Spider-Man jumped back, “Women have had the vote for, like, a hundred years! I’m pretty sure that she’s,” He jumped back again, “not your property, man!”

“She’s mine, ya’ bastard! And she knows what she did!” he raged, “She deserves everything she gets.” The man lunged one last time, going full bore on the young vigilante—and playing right into the trap. His fist came down as Spider-Man jumped up onto the alley wall. The crunch was nauseating and Peter was sure the man had to have broken at least three knuckle bones, if not several bones in his hand proper. He dropped his knees and cradled his injury, whimpering.

Spider-Man took advantage, securing the man to the ground with more webbing. He wasn’t going anywhere.

That taken care of, he rushed to the still unconscious woman on the ground. Now that he’d taken care of that dude, he could focus. “Karen, ETA on the ambulance?” He kneeled beside her prone body, better taking in her injuries.

“Two minutes, Peter.”

Okay, he could do two minutes. Her breathing was a little rough, and both of her eyes were swollen shut. He looked away, focused on the ground beside her and—were those teeth? This wasn’t the first beaten woman he’d helped, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that this one was different. He pulled in deep breath, and shook his head to try and clear it... but then this damned headache. No. Help would be here soon and she’d be okay. Yeah, she’d be okay. He was sure of it. He grabbed her hand, “You’ll be fine, lady. Help is coming.”

He pulled in a breath. He was okay.

The man in the webs sneered. “Awww, you’re so cute. Thinking that this is the last of it.” Spider-Man glared back him. The man gave a chin nod in her direction. “Who do you think is gonna bail me out?”

“No one deserves this, man! Why’d you do it? You could’ve killed her?” Spider-Man yelled. “Why?”

The man laughed, ugly and low. “You wanna know why?”

Spider-Man stared back at him.

"I’ll tell you why. ‘Cuz she’s so stupid, the bitch practically begs me to hit her. She needs to remember her place, that she’s nothin’ without me.” The man sneered, “and sometimes, it just feels so damn good.”

Flash’s words from earlier in the day suddenly echoed through Peter’s head. Yeah, Spider-Man was done for the day and Peter had a lot to think about.

“Karen, ETA?”

“Arrival is imminent. Might I suggest taking refuge on a rooftop to avoid detection by the local authorities?”

Peter looked at the bruised and swollen woman on the ground, gently placed her hand at her side, and then Spider-Man plastered a patch of webbing across the woman beater’s mouth. Peter didn’t want to listen to him anymore.

The ambulance and patrol car skidded to a halt in front of the alleyway almost simultaneously. A police officer exited his vehicle with weapon drawn and preparing to clear the alley for the EMTs to come down with their equipment .

“Peter?” Karen inquired.

“Yeah, I know. That’s my cue to leave.” And with the flick of a wrist, Spider-Man was off and away from the scene.

* * * * * *

It was past his curfew, and save for the fact that he was pretty sure he’d saved the life of that woman in the alley, stopped several muggings, a car accident, and finally caught that pickpocket that’d been targeting tourists for weeks—well, he’d regretted every decision he’d made since getting off of the subway after school.

He’d planned to stop after that man, but an inexplicable need to atone for his very existence ate at him and within minutes of stopping on that first rooftop, he was off and at it again.

And now his face still bled, his head pounded, and he wondered if his shoulder had dislocated and then corrected itself at some point in the evening. His ribs ached, his bruises throbbed, and something... something gnawed at his gut. No. Not something. Everything gnawed at his gut and thoughts were swirling around in his brain and he kept wondering why and how and if...”

“Incoming call from Tony Stark.”

Peter closed his eyes and drew in a calming breath.

“Peter?” Mr. Stark’s deceptively calm voice came over the comm. “Care to explain to me why I’m having to give the Spider-Baby a call at 1:27 on a Saturday morning when your curfew is midnight on the weekend?”

He didn’t know what to say, so he stuck to the truth, “I’m just thinking, Mr. Stark. I promise.”

“And you can’t do that from the comfort of your own home?”

Peter closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure that was the best plan, being alone in that exact moment.

“Pete? Are you going to answer me, ‘cuz Karen and FRI are both works of AI genius and I know this call hasn’t dropped.”

Peter inhaled again. That realization made it all too much. He wanted to...

“Pete?” Mr. Stark was alert now. “Pete? What’s going on?”

“I’m...” a sob fought its way free. What was Peter supposed to say? He wanted so badly to say he was good—that he was great and just taking in the cityscape before heading back to the apartment. He wanted to talk about the hot dog vendor who gives him extra sauerkraut on his hot dogs, ‘cuz it’ll put hair on his chest. Heck, he’d have settled for a story about free churros...

But he just felt so heavy.

“Peter, I’m calling up a suit now. I can be to you in two minutes.”

Two minutes? He had two minutes, and then Mr. Stark would know that Spider-Man wasn’t a superhero—he was a distraction, a target, a victim. That he existed solely for the universe to pour all of its hate and misfortune onto him for the benefit of others. That no matter how hard he tried, it would never be enough. That maybe Flash and Toomes and every punch and kick and stab were karma for Ben? His parents? That maybe if he wasn’t here...” Peter sobbed again. How could he say that all in two minutes?  

Instead, Peter whispered, “Mr. Stark? I can’t take this anymore.”

There was a silence, then, and Peter panicked at the thought he’d said too much.

“I mean—it’s okay, I just...”

“Pete. Hang on just thirty more seconds, okay? I’m coming to you, right now. Do you hear me?”

Peter nodded.

Mr. Stark chuckled, “I can’t hear you nod, kid.”

“I hear you,” he breathed.

“Okay, ‘cuz I bet there’s a lot of stuff goin’ on in that head of yours that needs some revisiting and I imagine it’s not processing quite right just now, what with the concussion you’ve been dealing with,” Mr. Stark cussed under his breath. “Kid, Karen is telling FRI that you already had that concussion when the suit went on?”

Peter huffed a laugh and looked out onto the city. “Um,” his voice warbled as he answered, “It’s been a pretty shitty day.” He could see Iron Man in the distance.

“Definitely sounds like there’s a story there, kid.” Mr. Stark landed a few feet away then moved towards him, faceplate flipping up to reveal a look of concern. “I want to hear it but first, I think you need this first.” The Iron Man armour melted away and Mr. Stark pulled Peter into his arms.

Peter tensed. The hugging thing wasn’t new for them, but Peter was convinced that he didn’t deserve this—any of this and he couldn’t... couldn’t...”

“Hey, kid, you’re safe here.” Mr. Stark soothed. “I’ve got you.”

Peter burrowed himself into Mr. Stark’s chest, then shook his head ‘no.’

His head hurt so bad and he couldn’t stop crying.

“Hey, FRI? Can he take the mask off?”

A voice spoke out from the watch resting by his ear. “I’m afraid not, Boss. There are several CCTV cameras set for specific ongoing undercover operations. This would disrupt four active stake outs and potential chain of evidence.”

“Damn.” Tony thought for a second. “Hey, buddy,” leaned to talk quietly into Peter’s ear. “I’m gonna give you a lift, ‘kay? We’ll hang out at the tower, just like we planned and have a bit of a staycation this weekend, sound good?”

Peter’s energy level was ebbing but, even still, he remembered, “No, don’t want the Avengers to see me like this.” He pleaded.

“Yeah, they flaked after the last meeting wrapped up, bud. The tower’s free and clear. It’d be you and me and bad 80s sci-fi. What do you say?”

Peter shrugged. It was all he could give.

And Mr. Stark took it. “Okay, kiddo, I’m gonna let of you now so I can get back into my suit, okay? And then I’m gonna pick you up so we can get this party started... whenever you’re ready.”

Peter hesitated, and then pulled himself out of Mr. Stark’s arms. Peter stepped back, looking unsure of himself.

With the tap of a button, the suit completely encased the man in seconds. “Alrighty, then. How do you want to do this, Pete? Piggy-back? Bridal-style?”

Peter was paralyzed with indecision. “I... I... um...”

The faceplate flipped up again and Tony took in the boy’s state, “How’s about dealer’s choice, hey?”

Peter nodded in relief and managed to not squeak when Iron Man scooped him up into his metal arms. “Why don’t you just relax. I’ve got ya’.” And with that, Iron Man rocketed off the rooftop and towards Avengers Tower.

It seemed that Mr. Stark didn’t feel as much urgency returning to the tower as he had when he’d headed over to Peter on the roof.

It was nice.

“Hey, Pete?” Mr. Stark interrupted the quiet, “I’m lookin’ at the injury report that Karen sent FRIDAY. I know you can’t be feeling great, so how’s about we make a quick pit stop at the medbay and get you checked out, huh?”

“I’m fine.” The words left his mouth before he could process it.

Mr. Stark was quiet for a minute, and then, “You know, Pete, just because you can deal with feeling bad or are even used to feeling bad, it doesn’t mean you have to settle for it.”

Peter remained silent.

“You don’t deserve to be in pain, bud.”

How could Peter reply to that? He lowered his head into the Iron Man’s chest and they continued onward.

Within moments, they were touching down on the landing pad outside of the Stark penthouse. Peter waited to be put down, but Mr. Stark walked forward, the suit dismantling around him until it was simply Mr. Stark carrying him.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Hang on, kid. Almost there.” He grunted in exertion.

They made their way to the couch where Tony gently placed Peter, sitting him down on the couch before planting himself on the coffee table in front of it.

“Okay, first things first,” Tony announced and reached forward to carefully remove the Spider-Man mask.

Peter allowed it, but kept his eyes lowered.

But Mr. Stark wouldn’t allow that. Mr. Stark cupped Peter’s cheek and guided Peter’s face upward. Peter tried to look away, but Mr. Stark refused to allow it.

“Peter Parker, you look me in the eye right now, please.”

His tears welled up again, but he did it.

“Good job, kid. Now I need you listen to me, and you listen to me good.”

Peter couldn’t look away.

“You do not need to be okay with feeling bad.”

Peter shook his head to disagree.

Tony continued. “You do not deserve to feel bad,” Tony wiped away Peter’s tears. “And you sure as hell do not need to hide from any of the people that love you that you feel bad.”

Mr. Stark moved his calloused hand from Peter’s face to brush a curl from his forehead. “If you need a list of people who love you, they include, but are not exclusive to: Your Aunt May, Ned, MJ, Rhodey—who still wants you to call him Uncle Rhodey, by the way.”

Peter chuckled.

Mr. Stark beamed, “Now where was I? Oh, yeah! Happy—just don’t tell him I told you,” Mr. Stark gave a conspiratorial wink at that one. “Pepper! And Brucie! Do I need to keep going? ‘Cuz I will. Hell, I bet that guy that makes your sandwiches loves you, kid.”

Peter didn’t know what to say.

“I’m at the top of that list, Peter.” Peter could hear the affection in Mr. Stark’s voice.

“You, Mister Peter Park, are allowed to not be okay. Sometimes life is shit, but half the fun is in getting through this together. You got me?”

Peter managed a timid nod.

“Good, so do you wanna go to the medbay and see if we have something for the killer headache you’ve got to have?”

“Please,” Peter replied.

“You’re feeling pretty bad?”

“Yeah, and, uh...” Peter didn’t quite know how to say it. “Um, I’m not okay.”

Tony shuffled closer, pulled Peter into an all-encompassing hug, and whispered, “I hear you, Peter, but we’re gonna get you there.”

@febuwhump

[uwua3]

that taichi headcannon for jealousy broke my heart :( could you do one where he finds another person? one that makes him laugh, ruffles his hair, games with him etc~ a happier one!

oh no!!! i’m so sorry here u go *offers u a new, super cool heart that is angst–proof* ♡ yes, i definitely want taichi to find ~ love ~ like he deserves because he’s such a puppy 🥺 i adore him endlessly so him having a happy alternative is Required Immediately!

summary: love came in many forms—including platonic best friends

warnings: heartbreak, unrequited love

author’s note: i actually went a bit more different route with this! i know this prompt typically means a romantic love, but i didn’t really feel like it would fit. this is a best friend! reader x taichi, and i am so happy with the message in this! go best friends!!!

love is love and you shouldn’t have to rush into a relationship to find it. your friends love you, and although it’s not the same, it’s more than enough ♡ love isn’t just what you do for others, so don’t try so hard to be loved. people will love you for you, not whatever romantic movie–based idea you have of them. i hope you know you are loved. i love you ♡

word count: 2,106

music: ily (i love you baby) – surf mesa ft. emilee

a skater gets back up.

🍁🛹 nanao taichi

taichi missed being in love

he missed writing all those heart–shaped love letters made of pink construction paper and his exaggerated, overwhelming feelings with red pen. he’d write their name in pretty cursive that took so many tries, he dotted the i’s with hearts, he color–coded it so well that it was just an explosion of valentine’s day

he missed dedicating his favorite songs to them, hearing it randomly in his shuffled mix and immediately thinking of them. he missed explaining what the songs meant, feeling all types of love when he repeated them over and over again

he missed creating playlists with them in his mind, forming it so it flowed perfectly and it was like he handcrafted the album himself. he missed sending the link and listening to it on repeat like a lovesick fool

he missed sending good morning/night texts, putting all his time aside just to fall head over heels again like he was on his skateboard. taichi knew he was a good boyfriend, that he loved with all of his heart and his feelings were real. but, he missed all of it, he missed love so much. taichi needed love

(it was so fucked up, but taichi sometimes listened to all the music he dedicated to them at night and stared up at his dark bedroom ceiling, crying just wishing he didn’t break it off. that he kept the toxic relationship going for just a bit more, just for the attention. he missed them)

so, taichi knew what he had to do. he actively started looking for love, not caring if he was going to get hurt again or if his heart was weak and broken from his last situation

(taichi’s reliance on love was so unhealthy, that even his friends got tired of his whining and eventually stopped communicating back when he went on a rant again)

(taichi didn’t mind, his dependency and need to be someone’s and be their one & only was too strong for him to even consider any other rational solution)

but you, you came out of no where

taichi was busy scrolling through his instagram following list, trying to find out if anyone cute was single. he could slide into their DMs with a fun message, be as enthusiastic as possible to avoid being left on seen. he was considering if he should start a digital conversation as he rode home from school

(he wasn’t the best multitasker. taichi was skating to the dorms, texting on his phone without looking up. he was casually skating before bam! he hit a curb, tumbling to the pavement as his phone flew a few feet away)

taichi groaned, knowing he was going to get scolded and laughed at by autumn troupe the moment he showed up to the dorms like he lost in a fight. as he moved to lay on his back, taichi rubbed his eyes as the sunlight was suddenly blocked from his vision

taichi opened his eyes and looked up, you were looking over him with wide, concerned eyes as you were saying something about first aid and asking if he was okay. taichi just blinked, not hearing you over the ringing in his ears as he stared at your face

you were cute! this could work, taichi just had to say some clever pick–up line you’d like. you would maybe find it so witty that you’d give him your number, you two would walk, form a momentary bond where he’d fall in love, and then you’d leave. taichi couldn’t believe fate finally recognized he needed a partner so it made him fall for them instead (literally)

taichi was about to open his mouth before you took his hand and pulled him up, helping him stand and he stared at your face, trying to process the situation. why were you helping? were you interested? did you want to go on a date? taichi blushed, never having someone ever be this direct to him

in reality, taichi’s sense of perception and reading between the lines was so warped. taichi romanticized his entire life, the way you touched his arm and made sure a completely random stranger was okay. this had to be the universe’s calling! but really, he just fell in love with everyone he met and pretended like his soulmate was out there

(maybe, this was all just an elaborate game to prove to himself that someone could love him. maybe, taichi just wanted to be worthy of someone’s love)

last time, he purposely fell off his skateboard to get a person’s attention. but this time, you were the one who came over to help. maybe, this could be different

“hey, hey! are you okay?!”

when the ringing subsided and he could pick up on your voice, taichi kicked his board up and swung it in his open backpack, putting his free hand out as he grinned like he didn’t just embarrass himself in front of you

“nanao taichi, great to meet you!” he exclaimed, smiling like his elbows weren’t scraped or his uniform was in desperate need of an ironing. he had a dull headache and he needed an ice pack for that bruise on his hip, but he looked so happy

you carefully took his hand, shaking it as you warily wondered how could someone be this happy after crashing like that (it was honestly a wreck, he looked like he could’ve died from the way he landed)

you said your name and the rest was history as he picked up his phone, wincing at the cracked screen, as he asked for your number

from there on, it was the start of a healthy friendship. at first, taichi tried to force this image he had onto you, convinced the timeline was basically telling him he had to do everything in his power to fall in love. but you shut him down quickly, emphasizing you guys were only friends and you weren’t about to risk this great friendship for some fling taichi wanted

honestly, it was for the best. taichi respected your boundaries and backed down (especially after you were adamant on not entering a fake relationship for the attention). when taichi took off his rose–tinted glasses and realized not every relationship he had meant pursuing some fantasy of love only he could imagine, your friendship with him became even better

taichi wrote you letters when he genuinely meant them, not because he felt like he was obligated to. sometimes, when he was so appreciative of how much you were there for him, he wrote pages of what you meant to him. they weren’t heart–shaped, but it had even more meaning because you actually read them and ruffled his hair, saying he was the bestest friend ever

you loved it! even though, he didn’t try as hard as he always did. he wrote your name normally, but you still smiled when you read it. he didn’t dot his i’s with hearts, but you still joked about how messy his handwriting was, and it didn’t bother him! it wasn’t perfect nor a representation of his lovey–dovey heart, but you loved it more than anyone else he ever did it for in his past

(his heart swelled with pride, not because he did something romantic, but because it made you happy. taichi was happy you felt loved, and were loved. was that the true purpose of letters? taichi didn’t think he could’ve wrote letters that were just plain without all the love clichés in the world, but you enjoyed them just the same without the flowery language)

taichi even sent you songs he knew you would love. you always listened to them, even sent back feedback about what you liked. but, taichi didn’t think it was romantic in any way. you appreciated that he took his time to send you something he associated with you. you always sent one back, but it wasn’t random, he always had on repeat whatever you chose because it fit him so well

he even remembered the first time he created a playlist for you on your birthday, selecting the same amount of songs as your age with thoughtful consideration. but this time, he didn’t go overboard and nitpicked at every single beat and rhythm. he just picked songs that made him think of you in a random order, and you still loved it. you even sent a video of you listening to it and shooting a thumbs up to the camera

(taichi’s heart doubled in size. you knew him so well! you knew what he liked and always paid attention to his likes & dislikes just like he did with you! you put in just as much effort with him, you really tried in this friendship and it wasn’t for the gifts he’d shower his future significant other with)

taichi always said good morning/night to you, but you didn’t yell at him when he forgot sometimes. you always said it back and even texted him first on occassion

(his heart was truly overwhelmed with all the subtle love you showed him. for once in his life, taichi felt like this was love. but he didn’t have to follow every romance movie’s rules or imitate every protagonist ever to get that love, all he did was be his true, authentic self)

taichi stopped himself from forcing love onto everyone he met. on nights when he felt like texting his ex again, or rekindling old relationships that didn’t work out for a reason, you stayed up with him, reminding him how much pain he went through and he couldn’t just put himself through hell again

taichi had to accept not everyone was his soulmate–to–be, that maybe this wasn’t his time to be in love. it took so much time to know that he’d rather be in love for a very long time than in short bursts

(not because it was more romantic, but he deserved a long–term, stable relationship that wasn’t just him begging for validation)

you taught him he was more than the people who played him in the past. he couldn’t sink to their level and start messing around just for the satisfaction, he would fall in love with someone right and it would be all worth it

(you two even once got into an argument. when taichi was going on and on about wanting a partner, you cut him off angrily, frustrated he wasn’t listening to your pleas for him to stop. you were so confused why he kept doing this to himself on purpose and if he was going to turn into some player. he kept ignoring you, whining about some partner before you gave up, telling him you couldn’t handle it today)

(that’s what it took for him to snap back to reality, taichi apologized immediately and tried his best to avoid ranting so much. at the end, you were always right and wanted the best for him. taichi had to accept that)

you provided taichi with real love that wasn’t because because he did all these romantic things, it was because you liked him for him. he stopped trying to see you as a potential lover and loved you as a friend, and that was more than enough

taichi had skateboarded to your house, rapidly knocking on your door as you came outside to see him with a boquet of flowers and your favorite candy. your heart dropped, oh no, was he about to confess when you made it clear—

“i love you.” taichi said, passing you the gifts as you stood shocked. you couldn’t believe it, you told him numerous times you two would never be in a relationship like this... you were about to object, reprimand him before he burst out laughing, holding his stomach as he hopped off his board

“oh my god! your face!!!” taichi hollered, trying to contain himself as you smacked his head with your boquet. you were genuinely so freaked out but breathed a sigh of relief once you saw he looked at you the same as before. taichi wasn’t in love with you, but—

“i just came to say i love you, as my best friend. i love you, and you taught me real love. i love you.”

your best friend, taichi, smiled just like that day he fell off his skateboard and scraped up his entire body. you hoped he never changed and stayed the same romantic nutcase as before, but for the right person

as you hugged him, taichi realized he didn’t need a relationship. he needed love, and his best friend was more than enough

[nev3rfound]

unknown match : b.b

brief summary: natasha decides it’s time for her favourite barista to be set up on a blind date, even if she has to force you to go. what you don’t expect is to find one of your dear friends waiting for a date too. 

word count: 3k requested: something based on an old piece i wrote years ago.  warnings: none that i’m aware of 

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it isn’t me. all rights reserved. - thank you to everyone who helped regarding the wattpad situation, you’re all amazing)

masterlistin’

permanent taglist

Standing in front of the glass doors you huff loudly, blowing the loose strands of hair from your forehead as sweat trickles down your cheek. “Okay, this is fine.” You mutter under your breath, trying to ignore the fact everyone inside can see you giving yourself a needed pep talk. 

As you step forward, you hesitate. After all, you didn’t want to be doing this, but then again you weren’t given much of a choice. 

“It’s one date,” Natasha sighs heavily down the line as you sit in your bed, still surrounded by empty tissue boxes and the remains of photo frames now empty of memories. “he’s a great guy, one of the best I know.” 

You lie back down, shuffling yourself further under the covers. “How come I’ve not met him then if he’s so great?” You remark, knowing she’s rolling her eyes. 

“Because you were with that dick, but now you’re not so I want you to meet him.” She explains for the fifth time since the subject came about mere days after you found out your ex cheated on you. 

Natasha didn’t want to focus on the negatives of it all. Instead, she saw this as an opportunity to pair up two like-minded people, even if they were from different backgrounds or decades apart. 

All you had to do was follow Natasha’s three golden rules. 

1. be the honest version of yourself, not the best because she’s a fake. 2. drink, but not to the point where you blackout and make mistakes 3. do not ever be late

And here you are, running thirty minutes late with ten spent mentally preparing yourself outside of the restaurant. 

Part of you contemplates turning back around and going home. If you’re thirty minutes late maybe he would’ve given up by now and left. You could happily turn back around, knowing you’re no worse off from not experiencing this date. 

However, the thought of Natasha’s wrath overrules your brain and your feet step forward, blocking out any last-minute panic. 

As you pull the glass door open with force, you can already feel the nerves biting away at your brain as your eyes scan around the bar for any lonely men. Much to your dismay, it’s flooded with them. 

“Hello Madam,” Turning your body you face a tall man with a bright smile. “May I take your-” His eyes wander down before pausing. 

You didn’t think to bring a jacket with the rising temperatures outside. “How about you take my heart for safekeeping?” You joke, watching him chuckle softly before shaking his head.

“I doubt that’ll be necessary, Ma’am.” He kindly comments. “Do you have a reservation booked?” 

Shuffling on the spot, you wipe push your hair from around your neck already feeling the heat returning to you. “I’m here for a date, but I don’t know if they’re here yet.” You explain, trying to not look around and catch anyone's eyes. “Is there somewhere I can wait?”

The waiter smiles brightly as he claps his hands, causing you to jump. “This way, love!” His tone changes instantly and you feel compelled to smile along, unable to hide from view as he guides you toward the bar. “If you need anything, I’ll be by the door.” He motions to his original spot as you take a seat and without another word being said, he returns to his station. 

Tapping your foot against the bar of the stool, you let out a deep exhale. “Something strong?” You lift your eyes up from your phone, seeing several unread messages from Natasha. 

“Sorry,” You see the bartender before you, leaning against the counter as you place your phone away. “yes, definitely strong.” You laugh uneasily and she nods. 

As the bartender returns, she places a tall glass in front of me with crushed ice. “We call it ‘The Dark and Handsome.’ You know, what every girl describes her ideal man to be.” She explains, shrugging her shoulder as a laugh escapes your lips. 

“You should’ve seen my ex.” You mutter under your lips before accepting the drink with the thin straw. “But dark and handsome does sound delicious.” You comment as you sip the drink, seeing her trying to disguise her smirk. “The drink, the drink!” You stutter after swallowing a mouthful, knowing you’re in for it if you drink another one of these. 

“I’ll have whatever she’s having.” You hear a voice call out from across the bar. “Looks pretty good. The drink too.” He chuckles to himself and you can feel your skin crawl as you turn your head to see a man hold up a whiskey glass, raising his grey eyebrows causing his wrinkles to increase. 

A gentle tap on the back of your chair catches you off guard as you turn around, seeing those familiar blue eyes you know all too well. “James?” You question in disbelief as he brings you into a hug. 

“Just go with this yeah? That guy’s been prowling girls all night, doll.” He mutters before pulling away, taking the spot that was supposed to be for your blind date. 

You watch as James orders a drink before turning to face you. “How come you’re out on a Friday night?” You question, raising an eyebrow before taking another sip from your drink, feeling it coursing through you. 

“Well, I could ask my favourite barista the same question.” James retorts, taking his drink gratefully as he keeps his attention on you. “And here I thought you had no time outside of that lil cafe.” He jokes, watching you roll your eyes. 

“I manage to get out of the place occasionally.” You remark as James sips his drink. “What’re you doing here anyway?” 

James lowers his drink, his eyes wandering around the bar and restaurant area. “Supposed to be on a date, but I think I scared her off.” He sighs and you can see how disheartened he is. His shoulders are being held forward, his posture slacking as he tries to keep his smile up. 

“Well, her loss, James.” You nudge him lightly, trying to get him to smile. “If we were at the cafe, I’d give you a free slice of cake if I saw that happen.” You tell him, seeing that smile reappear. 

“Shame we’re not there then.” He mutters sadly, secretly wishing he never bothered leaving the compound for this in the first place. 

All Bucky wanted was a chance to have something normal. He was still adjusting to the modern way of living, but one step at a time he was getting better. His favourite thing about modern society was the food and drink, but more importantly, your little cafe. 

It was tucked away, out of sight in Brooklyn not far from where he grew up. Visting your cafe reminded him of home, of everything familiar he once knew. He loved how comfortable it felt, he was never overwhelmed by the others sitting and having something to drink and eat and never felt under pressure to leave.

In your cafe, he was James, and you were his favourite barista and friend. 

Trying to lighten the atmosphere, you call the bartender over. “Could we get two tequila shots please?” You ask and she nods before wandering to get them for you. 

James looks at you with wide eyes, seeing you laugh. “I mean why not? I think my date has bailed too so why not make a night of this?” You suggest as the shots are placed in front of you both.

You lift yours up, watching as James does the same before you lick the salt from your hand and knock back the shot. A small squirm leaves your lips as you suck on a piece of lemon and you watch as James’ face sinks in. 

“So, you got stood up too?” He questions as you both settle from the first shot of the night. You nod in response, and Bucky shakes his head in disbelief. “What was the assholes name then?” 

Pausing for a second you look around. “Jackson.” You blurt out, internally swearing for picking your ex-boyfriends name, thankfully one James never had the displeasure of meeting.

“He sounds like an asshole.” Bucky mutters, wanting anything to hear you laugh and thankfully, you do. “And since you ask, doll.” He adds, looking back at you as you focus on him. “Her name was Natalia.” 

“She sounds pretty.” You comment, but Bucky shrugs his shoulder. “I’m sure she had her reasons for not turning up. I mean, I’m like an hour late but let me tell you this James,” You point to him, already feeling the after-effects of your cocktail and shot kicking in. “if a girl says 8, she really means 9.” 

James nods, seeing you looking around just in case. “Do you wanna go somewhere else, Y/n?” Bucky suggests and you turn around quickly with panic in your eyes. “I mean, we don’t have to.” Internally Bucky is wishing he could back out but watches as your panic softens. 

“I’d love that.” You tell him. “But one more shot first, for Harry and Natalia’s sake?” You suggest, and of course, James complies. Secretly he’d do anything you’d want him to, not that he’ll ever admit that aloud. 

As you finish your drinks, you rise to your feet and James holds his arm out automatically for you. “You alright?” He asks, his hand resting on your forearm with light pressure.

You try to focus on his face, already feeling yourself drifting slightly. “I’m just going to the bathroom.” You clear your throat before wandering away, finding them and quickly locking yourself into a cubicle.

Unable to stop your leg from bouncing, you dial her number knowing you’d best call rather than send her a text.

“Why are you calling me and not talking to your date?” Natasha huffs down the line and you can feel the panic rising through your body. “What did you do?” She takes in your prolonged silence, hearing you sigh down the line as you lower your head into your lap.

“So, he hasn’t turned up. Or I came too late for him to wanna wait around,” You explain, hearing Natasha swear in Russian through the phone. “okay okay!” You exclaim. “At least let me finish before you go all Russian on me.” You try to joke, but she remains silent.

“Fine.” She bluntly states.

“I met a friend, one of my favourite customers actually.” You can feel your smile returning to your face at the thought of James alone. “And, he’s so sweet we’re thinking of going somewhere else. Maybe text your friend just in case?” You suggest as she mutters your name in disappointment.

“Let me guess, is this James that you keep talking about?” She questions as you nod. “Y/n, I can’t see you nod.” She reminds you, and you chuckle under your breath.

“Yes, and good things come from my cafe. I wouldn’t have met you if you didn’t come in all those years ago!” You recall, having first met Natasha when she was going through one hell of a breakup with some guy named Bruce.

“Alright.” She speaks up. “I’ll text him, but don’t wuss out. Have fun with James, okay? And make sure he’s no Jackson.” She jokes and you roll your eyes before hanging up.

Exiting the bathroom, you see James already stood by the door waiting with a bright smile as soon as he notices you. “I know the perfect place we can go.” He mutters to you as he takes your hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

“Have a good evening, you two.” You smile to the doorman from earlier, his excitement still as electric as it was when you first entered. 

Slowly, the pair of you wander out from the restaurant, but your fingers remain intertwined with James’ - not that you were complaining in the slightest about the turn of events. 

“So, where’s this perfect place?” You speak up, watching as he lets go of your hand before whistling at a cab. 

He opens the door for you, watching as you slide in before sitting beside you. “Where to?” The driver asks, glancing with a tired expression to you both before James recites an address burned into your brain. 

“Wait, we’re going to my cafe?” You half laugh as James simply nods. 

“My perfect place.” He says with a small smile, unsure of himself until you reach down and rest your hand in his. 

*

Pulling up outside, you fumble through your bag and notice James pay before you have the opportunity to reach your purse. You shoot him a look, only for him to roll his eyes and exit the car, quickly appearing by your side. 

“M’lady.” He holds the door open and you chuckle, accepting his metal hand and stepping onto the street opposite your cafe. 

“Sometimes I think you’re from the wrong era, James.” You think aloud, not knowing the truth behind your thoughts. 

“I get that a lot.” Bucky comments, following you as you unlock the front door of your cafe and quickly wander through, switching on all the lights. 

Bucky remains still, simply looking around at the silence that he’s never known to fall in your cafe. Whenever he comes in, there’s always a conversation occurring. Whether it between you and a customer or someone on the phone he never knew the sound of tranquillity quite like this.

You walk through from the kitchen, pausing as James’ eyes remain closed and you find yourself lost in his presence. Leaning against the counter, you watch as his lips remain parted, but his body sways ever so slightly in content. 

“Basking in the unknown silence of the place?” You slice through his silence, but Bucky could never be mad about that, especially if it were you talking. “I’ve got something for you, hold on.” You say with a growing smile, and Bucky nears the usual counter he greets you at most days. 

Except you’re not wearing a small name tag or an apron. You’re dressed up, you made an effort for someone else and he was a mere coincidence. This wasn’t fate, it was just luck. 

Bucky watches as you reveal a perfect slice of sponge cake, one of his personal favourites. The flavours were simple, but somehow you made it taste like heaven on a plate. 

“For me?” He points to himself as you take the cake toward a table, pulling out a chair before passing him a fork.

“I told you, I’d give you a slice of cake if we were at the cafe,” You remind him. “and here we are.” You playfully huff, leaning back as James pushes his fork through the cake before lifting it to his lips, letting out a satisfied sigh. “I take that as you like it?” 

He nods rapidly before pushing his fork back into the soft sponge, squishing jam and cream out. “You want some?” He holds the fork up in your direction with a smirk on his face. 

“Go on then.” You couldn’t resist as he brings the fork closer to your lips. 

Bucky can’t help but keep his eyes focused on your lips as you take the cake from the fork, licking your lips as you giggle. “Good right?” He exclaims, seeing heat rising through your face.

“I made it, James.” You giggle. “You’re biased.” 

“Doesn’t mean it’s not good, doll.” He adds and soon enough the cake is gone, replaced by a different slice as the pair of you talk the evening away. 

After hours of talking, drinking cups of coffee and James helping you prepare for the start of next week you could see the sun starting to draw closer. 

“Is it bad I’m glad Jackson didn’t show?” You ask James as you sit by the window in the corner booth. 

Bucky’s arm remains around you, holding you close as you lean your head against his chest. “I know I’m glad.” He admits. “And that Natalia was a no show too.” He mentally hopes he got her name correct, having simply taken inspiration from the friend who set him up on a blind date in the first place. 

It doesn’t feel strange to him, having you so close within his embrace. Mere months ago the thought of physical contact was alarming, but it felt normal with you. 

“There’s a lot still to learn about you, James.” You speak up, drawing shapes into his chest with your forefinger as the sun filters through the blinds. “I can just see it.” You yawn quietly, covering your mouth as James simply nods. 

“You wanna stick around and hear it?” He questions, genuinely surprised how much you seem to care as you sit upright, facing him. 

He can see you fighting back sleep but watches as you nod. 

“I’ll sit around for hours to learn more about you, James.” You admit, swallowing your nerves. “Because I think I like you.” You say quietly, and James rests his hand on your chin.

“Sorry doll, you gotta be a bit louder than that.” He chuckles, watching as you roll your eyes. 

“I like you Jame-” Before you can finish, he cuts you off with a gentle kiss. 

Bucky can feel the warmth of the sun on your lips, the taste of cream and powdered sugar. 

As you pull away, your smile is infectious as Bucky brings you back into his embrace. 

“Hey, James?” You speak up, hearing him hum quietly. “Could we take a quick photo, just so I can prove my friend wrong about my date bailing?” 

“Course doll. That sounds like a good idea actually.” He agrees as you reach for your phone and turn to the camera. 

Holding your phone up, you smile brightly as Bucky turns his head, kissing your cheek as you take the photo. 

You giggle at his actions before sending it to Natasha, knowing she’ll appreciate the outcome, even if it wasn’t what she intended for your evening. 

“So, wanna get breakfast?” James suggests as you nod eagerly. “And coffee, because I don’t know how much longer you’re going to be awake.” He states, helping you to your feet as he takes your hand in his, leading you out from your little cafe. 

Unbeknownst to the pair of you, Natasha received your photo. 

What you would soon learn is that Bucky Barnes, James your favourite customer was, in fact, your blind date. And for once, chance was on Bucky’s side. 

t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio to add yourself☺️

@biss-stuff   @psychicforest  @lourightm @mywinterwolf   @justsomedreaming @stanlux17@supermoonchildbroski @xrosegoldwolfx @courtneychicken@marvelsangels @supraveng @tommy-lee-81​ @fandom-princess-forevermore

[milstrim]

All That Mattered

Day 31: Left for Dead

It was cold, but it didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter in the harshly cold bunker where he lay, still hunched, his suit sparking and fritzing. He didn't know how long he'd been there, burn marks on the wall and a broken shield glinting in front of him, but he didn't really care much. Because Steve had known. Steve had known that Barnes had killed his mom. He'd known and he hadn't told him. He'd known and he'd defended Barnes. Tony and Steve had never been the closest of friends, but after everything...

The broken hero closed his eyes in distress, grimacing at the pain. He needed to get home, but a quick glance at his arc reactor proved just how difficult that would be. Thank Odin or whatever he'd had that surgery, or else he'd be dead already, but his suit definitely wasn't going to be working anytime soon. If he could ever get up, he was sure he could fix it and fly home, that was, if he could ever get up. His bones felt too cold to even wiggle a toe.

Tony closed his eyes, still not moving and sure he wouldn't be able to get himself to move for the cold, when he heard a scuffle, followed by a gasp. A familiar gasp. His eyes snapped open, and he blinked furiously to make out the blurry red figure making its way towards him.

"-ark? Mr. Stark!" Penny Parker called, and he felt a jolt of fear rush through him. What was she doing here? How had she gotten here? She knelt down beside him, her face scrunched up in worry as she looked over his trashed suit frantically, "I-I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. That cat guy was leaving on this weird plane and I tried to sneak on but he caught me and he invited me to come with him and we dealt with that weird guy outside and he left with him. I said I'd just come and find you and you could fly, I should've--"

"Stop talking," he rasped, suddenly finding it in himself to sit up, grunting at his ribs. Penny shut up immediately, her jaw clicking audibly. He glared at her, "What the hell are you doing here? I told you you were done. You could've gotten hurt. You can get hurt. The suit can't fly us out of here!"

"I'm sorry," she said again, "I don't know, I just wanted to help. Wasn't...wasn't that why you brought me here?"

Tony cursed himself for bringing her to Germany at all. For dragging her into this and for assuming a kid who had taken up a vigilante lifestyle would ever listen to him. He was angry. He was betrayed. He was tired. And he took it out on Penny.

"No. You were supposed to help in Germany, not for you to follow me around. Where was Happy? I swear one day I'm just going to kick him to the curb. First the elevator and then--"

"Don't blame him! I have super senses, it's easy to sneak away!" Penny protested, looking incredibly upset at the idea of him firing Happy. Of course, he never would, but the kid didn't know that. Still, he only responded with an irritated look.

Tony stood up, stumbling to his feet. Penny tried to help him up by putting an arm on his shoulder, but he shook her off roughly, "The arc reactor's been trashed. There might be enough material here to patch it up, which was Rescue Plan Number One until you came along. But, since you're here, I'll have to make something to contact Rho--Happy. Grab that shield and stay out of trouble."

Penny did as told, her mouth a thine line as she nodded. She clearly got the memo that he was mad at her, and he could practically feel the way she was tiptoeing around him, following loosely behind silently, a stark contrast to the heavy thudding of his own footsteps. They headed into the room he'd been in earlier, just before the fighting had broken out. Now it was trashed, with glass and broken machinery littering the ground, crunching under his metal feet.

Tony surveyed the room, blocking out everything that had just happened in favor of letting his mind do what it did best; Work. He was great at work, at putting things together and forcing out everything that was too much.

There wasn't much in the room. It was all incredibly old, and he was sure most of it didn't work anymore, especially now that it was the remnants of a battle. If he could find some old missiles, he'd be able to fix his arc reactor. Temporarily anyway. At the very least it'd provide him with some emergency firepower, as well as keep his suit warm. It was frigid in here, and he was glad for the suit's thick padding at least.

The thought made him glance at the teenager beside him. He wouldn't be able to activate her suit's heater without contacting Friday, or fixing up her suit manually. Strangely, she wasn't even shivering. Maybe spider mutations made it easier to stay warm, like how Steve could--

He shook his head. He couldn't think about that. He had to work. He had to get home and make sure Rhodey would get the best care and braces so he could walk. He needed to get this kid home to her family so she could be safe instead of traipsing around the barren wasteland of Siberia.

The billionaire pulled out a chair that scraped against the ground, sitting down and beginning to work off his armor, "Put that shield down, kid, and help me out."

"Yes, sir," she answered, placing the shield down gently on a nearby monitor and padding over to him. He grimaced at the sir, but was too tired to even bother correcting her. Penny's super strength was amazingly helpful in taking his armor off, and despite her almost godly strength, she was surprisingly gentle. She was definitely a lot better at taking apart the armor than Butterfingers and U had been.

Once all the armor was off and laid off to the side on the floor, he could really begin to get to work, though he was considerably less warm. At least he'd been wearing a suit, and though it was torn in places, it was still better than his usual under-suit. He pried his reactor from the chest plate, the energy source flicking on and off dimly.

"Kid, go and find an AT-5 Spandrel missile. They were standard Soviet missiles, and shouldn't be too hard to find. Bring me as many as you can," he ordered as he grabbed a tool hidden within a compartment in his suit and began taking apart his reactor. He thought Penny might have mumbled a confirmation, but he didn't really hear her, instead hyper-focusing on what he was working on.

Tony's teeth were chattering by the time Penny came back with what he asked for, and he could barely work for the way his hands shook with the obliterating cold and fear. There was a loud CLANG! of metal against metal. It made him shoot up in his seat, twisting around and holding out his hand despite the distinct lack a repulsor.

The culprit of the startling sound ended up just being Penny. And a bunch of missiles. That she'd dropped.

Immediately his face turned into a scowl, glowering as the teen bent down to begin picking up the extremely dangerous explosives she'd dropped, not even saying anything.

"Jesus Christ, kid! Why weren't you watching what you're doing? And you can't even listen! I told you to stay out of the fight and now you're here! Right where I don't want you to be. I don't know why I asked you for help in--"

Tony cut himself off, plopping back into the chair with a heavy sigh. He shouldn't be yelling. He shouldn't be screaming and blaming and taking everything out on this kid. Because she was a kid. And because he'd brought her into this.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark," she whispered, her voice practically nonexistent. Immediately his head snapped up, and his whole body shot up at the sight of the kid. Her face was deathly pale, her lips bluer than the sky and her caramel eyes wet.

He stepped over to her, putting as much gentleness and reassurance into his voice as he could. He put a hand up to her forehead--even he was surprised by the fatherly gesture--pulling it back, as though burned, "Jeez, kid. You're freezing up. Sit down for a moment."

"No, Mr. Stark. I'm fine, I'm okay really--"

"You're fine when I say you're fine. Sit down," he interrupted, and he noticed that she still wasn't shivering. That was bad. That was a stage of hypothermia, right? "Okay, we're just gonna have to get you warm. You're probably entering hypothermia right now, so I need to--"

"What? Why?" Penny blinked.

"You're not shivering, kid. It's a stage of hypothermia. Now, there's a heater in--"

"It's not hypothermia."

"Kid--"

"Spiders can't thermoregulate."

Tony blinked.

"That's worse. You do realize that's worse, right? We're in Siberia, and you can't keep up a constant body temperature?"

"Not really."

"Oka, okay, okayokayokay! We'll just have to work with this," Tony panicked, shrugging off his ripped suit jacket and wrapping it around her, "Just hang in there. I'm just gonna fix the arc reactor and then I can send out a message, okay?"

"Mkay," she mumbled, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You'll get cold without your jacket."

Tony blinked. Why did she care. Why did this child with wide brown eyes and poofy brown hair care about him. He hadn't done anything for her. Had just yelled at her and dragged her around countries to fight people.

Unsure of how to respond, he just patted her shoulder and began to work again. He was aware of Penny watching him sleepily the whole time, and he wished he could just work faster, but his hands were too unsteady to get anything done. He missed Yinsen and his steady hands.

As he was struggling to put two wires together, Penny padded up behind him, offering, "I can do that, Mr. Stark."

"Go sit back down, kid."

"Your hands are shaking," she protested. Tony stared in front of him for a moment before sniffing and moving out of the way.

"Fine, but you have to listen to my instructions. Okay?"

"Okay, Mr. Stark."

Penny did...great. Due to his shaky hands he allowed her to put the rest of it together for him, under his careful instruction of course. He'd known she was smart but...damn. This girl was an actual genius. She understood every word he said, had pieced together the arc reactor like it was nothing. Needless to say he was actually considering making her internship a real one.

Once they'd put the power source together, Tony placed it back in the suit, grateful to see the suit light up clue with power and to hear Friday's ever assuring voice, though she definitely sounded a little loopy.

"Hello, Mr. Stark," Friday said, "It is good to see you're okay."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he responded, "Call me and the kid a Quinjet, would ya? I'm ready for a hot cup of coffee, and maybe a coco for the kid."

"Yes, sir."

Now all they had to do was wait.

 ---

Waiting, it turned out, wasn't too bad. The cold still sucked ass, but there were worse people to be stuck with. They told jokes and kept up mild conversation, managing to keep his mind off of the betrayal that had just occurred. Sometimes he still stared off at the screen where the video had been shown, but Penny would make some dumb pun, and then he'd be back in the conversation.

He ended up being able to turn Penny's suit heater on thanks to Friday's help, allowing for some color to finally return to her cheeks, though they were still both freezing. He blamed the cold for their eventual cuddle party, the kid tucked underneath his arm as they tried to conserve body heat. Though he couldn't deny that playing with her hair was calming in a way he didn't know had existed.

And in those few hours where they waited for the Quinjet, Steve almost didn't matter. It didn't matter that the Avengers were done for. It didn't matter they weren't prepared. And it didn't matter that Steve had almost killed him and left him for dead. Just for those few hours, Penny Parker was all that mattered.

[jjungkookislife]

What If It Hurts Me?

ღ pairing: ex!Jungkook x f. reader

ღ genre: idol au, angst, slight fluff

ღ summary: Jungkook has been struggling for the past three years to move on with his life. When he accidentally discovers a secret about you and Namjoon, you’re forced to face him again.

ღ wc: 5.7k

ღ warnings: angst! cursing, allusions to anxiety and depression, Namjoon lying, Jungkook being aggressive & threatening Namjoon, slight smut mention, flashbacks, and time skips, mentions of deep guilt, pregnancy

ღ a/n: Title Cr: Happy by Leona Lewis

ღ date: August 20, 2019

It had been three years since Jungkook had last laid eyes on you. Three years since he had fought with his members back in Malta when he had tried to escape their hold on him to reach you. Three long years that he had spent thinking about you, wondering if you still thought of him too.

Namjoon had advised him to move on, to let you go completely and focus on his career. Jungkook had tried, tried to keep you out of his head and out of his life, which was easier once you had blocked him on all platforms and made new accounts. Jungkook had no way to reach you, no way to know if you were okay or even alive at this point.

Jungkook often found himself wondering if Namjoon knew where you were at and if you had moved on, but anytime he’d question his leader about your whereabouts, he’d say you had cut off all contact with him as well.

What Jungkook didn’t know, was that Namjoon had your number saved under a fictitious name to keep you a secret. It wasn’t often that the two of you talked it had been well over a year since you had reached out to him. At first, Namjoon had felt bad about lying to Jungkook, but now that you had cut off contact with him, he wasn’t technically lying anymore.

However, Jungkook couldn’t find it in him to get over you, despite his members' best efforts. They had tried setting up on dates, tried getting him focused on work, but no matter what they did, Jungkook always found himself thinking about you. Every song he wrote was about you, every picture he took reminded him of you, there wasn't anything he did that didn’t remind him of you. You consumed him like a flame.

Namjoon had allowed Jungkook to wallow for a while but interfered when he deemed it necessary, however, that led to a massive fight that almost ended with Jungkook leaving the group. It took months for Jungkook and Namjoon to settle their strife, and that’s when everyone realized it was better for Jungkook to continue to wallow in despair as long as it didn’t affect his performance. Nobody knew how deep his scars seared his heart. Not like Jungkook would let anyone close enough to find out. No, Jungkook didn’t need anyone, not anymore, and not when you had left him so easily. How could you have just left him? You didn’t care about him enough to stay, and now he had to sit back and watch life pass him by while you were off in the world doing who knows what. He hated you, or at least, he wanted to, but every time he thought of you his heart would clench tight and his mouth went dry.

Jungkook didn’t know how to let go, didn’t know how to cope with the fact that you were never coming back. What would he do if he saw you again? Beg you to come back to him? You had already shut and bolted the door to that option, and Jungkook knew better than to grovel at your feet when it was painfully obvious how you felt about him. Jungkook hopes one day he would wake up and his heartbreak would be miraculously cured, but as the years passed him by he knew that thought was obsolete. He was sure the members thought he was pathetic, he had kept every picture, every video, every text he had from you so he could sit in his room on breaks and go through each one. Seeing you smile in videos he had filmed made his stomach turn, his emotions consuming him until he laid in bed sobbing himself to sleep, eyes raw. How many nights had he wasted crying over you? Did you know he had tried to contact you almost immediately after you ran out of his life? Did you get his messages? Jungkook had felt trapped, his members not letting him out of his sight until they were back in their rented home.

Jungkook had paced back and forth desperately, his phone clutched to his ear as he called you over and over again but got no response. Tears streamed down his face, Taehyung not being able to do anything to comfort him. He just sat back and watched Jungkook crumble. Curses rolled off the younger’s tongue, his heart cracking every time his call went unanswered. He had debated running out to the airport, but he knew he would be stopped almost immediately by one of the members or even the staff, but he had tried, anyway. Jungkook had pushed those thoughts back. He didn’t want to think about how he had rushed to the airport, only to see you walk past the gate without a look back. Jungkook had screamed your name in a panic, in a last attempt to pull you back, but it was useless, you were gone. He screamed until his throat got raw, until his vision blurred and until he fell to his knees. To this day, nobody knows where he disappeared off to, not even you.

Had he known this was the result of your night in Malta, he wasn’t sure he would do it again. Often, he would lose himself to that night, overwhelmed by the feeling of your body beneath his, your lips burning his flesh with every kiss as you writhed beneath him. That night was clear in his mind, a never-fading memory that he wished he could erase. How he regretted not staying up with you all night to keep you in his arms, to talk things out and hopefully salvage your relationship. Instead, you had run out on him while he slept, unfortunately bumping into Namjoon on your way out.

Jungkook knew there was nothing he could do to get you back. Hell, he didn’t know if you were even still in Seoul or if you had moved out of the country like you always wanted to. Maybe it was for the best if he never saw you again, it’s not like what the two of you had was salvageable.

Now that Jungkook had some time off from work, he planned on sticking in Seoul for a bit before heading home to his family and friends. He knew he wasn’t going to be doing much, but anything was better than being cooped up at home with the boys, sending him pitying looks and biting their tongues before turning away to leave him alone. Jungkook was exhausted being around everyone. He wanted to isolate himself to finally try to get his bearings so he could force himself to forget you. You were an obstacle for him to overcome and nothing more, you were a burden weighing him down and he ached to break free.

Jungkook didn’t say anything to anyone as he got dressed, gathering a few of his belongings before he walked out the door. He was only staying in the apartment a few more days before he’d be back home in Busan, and he couldn’t wait to escape the hellish atmosphere he had created.

Jungkook pulled his bucket hat down further as he stepped out into the street, his hands buried in his pockets as he walked, not bothering to look anywhere but in front of him. He didn’t speak as pedestrians bumped into him, he just continued to barrel through the crowds on his way. He didn’t have a set destination in mind, he just wanted to walk to try to clear his mind, but all he could think of was you. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t regret breaking up with you, and now he was alone and miserable.

Jungkook scoffed as he pushed forward, avoiding everyone who tried to look him in the eye as he walked. People gave him a wide berth as he walked. His icy gaze made him too intimidating to look at but he didn’t mind, it allowed him to walk faster.

Jungkook knew his apathy was becoming too much for everyone to put up with, it was too much for him to put up with, but what was he supposed to do? He felt like he was drowning and although people were around to help; he stood still, struggling, gasping for breath. Enough was enough, however, Jungkook didn’t like feeling like he was drowning and he sure as hell didn’t like giving up, not on himself. At the end of the day, all he had been himself to pull him out of this pain, no matter how many people were aching to help.

Sighing heavily, Jungkook realized he had walked to the Han River. His heart ached when he saw couples and families enjoying the afternoon. Laughter filled the air and smiles grazed everyone’s face while he simmered in his self-pity. He envied everyone’s happiness, but what was he to do?

Jungkook sat underneath a tree, his eyes focusing on the river as people walked past him without giving him a second glance. Jungkook wasn’t used to being ignored, of being left alone in public, but he relished in it now.

His hands gripped the grass, pulling at it and tossing it to disperse with the wind as he tried to clear his head. He loved you, but he hated you. He wanted you but he didn’t want you. Did he even mean anything to you? Did he ever?

Jungkook’s head lolled back against the tree, his hands gripping his thighs roughly to let out some pent up aggression. He wanted to scream until his throat ached and his lungs burned, but that would draw unnecessary attention to himself and he just wanted to be left alone.

“Y/n,” your name tasted vile rolling off his tongue as he looked back at the river. Maybe coming out here was a mistake? Seeing the couples walking along holding hands and smiling at each other just made his stomach pool with rage. That was supposed to be him! That was supposed to be the two of you! Jungkook huffed, his eyes scanning over all the families at the park, a bitter taste forming in his mouth. You and he were supposed to be together, have your own family just like everyone around him, but instead, he was alone. All alone.

Jungkook slid his hand into his pants pocket. The familiar texture of the black velvet box greeted his fingertips. How stupid he was that he could have ever gotten you back. He thought that if he could just see you again, talk to you again, everything would be okay.

How naïve he had been back then. He chuckled darkly, a sneer forming on his lips beneath his face mask. How stupidly hopeful he had been at the time; as if you would allow him a second chance, a real chance, to make things right. Jungkook had gone out and bought a ring. His giddiness had overwhelmed him because he was hopeful he could find you, reconcile and eventually marry you. He knew this life was hard, but you were worth it if only he could talk to you one more time to set things straight.

You disappeared without a trace. Even Beth had disappeared and Jungkook was at a loss, stuck with a ring that would never grace your finger. Not a single soul knew about the little black box he kept it on his person at all times, not even Namjoon. Jungkook felt pathetic enough as it was without this minor detail being out in the open.

Jungkook’s fingers stroked the box absentmindedly as he watched people pass him by, imagining what you would look like now. Had you moved on? Or were you suffering like he was?

All these unanswered thoughts had his head spinning as his eyes settled on a couple with a toddler in the woman’s arms. Jungkook felt a pang in his chest, that should have been the two of you by now. Happy with a family, walking carelessly by the river on a warm afternoon with nobody harassing him for attention, autographs or pictures.

The more Jungkook stares, the more he seemed to lose his mind as the family walked closer. If Jungkook didn’t know any better, he’d think that was you. Jungkook squinted, his heart racing in his chest as he realized it was you! He began to sweat, his hands growing clammy as he watched you set the boy in your arms down, his soft giggles making you laugh as he ran around you in circles. The man you were with smiled as well, his arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you close.

Jungkook felt his blood boiling in his veins as he watched the man hold you. He wondered if he was your husband and if that was his son. Tears pooled in his eyes as he stood, sniffling as he wiped at his face before he found himself walking in your direction. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he knew he had to see you up close just to confirm that it was you.

Jungkook felt like throwing up by the time he was a few yards away from you. His heart stopped. He froze in place, his eyes wide as he took in your beauty, your radiant smile illuminating your face as you picked up the small child and covered his face in kisses.

“Jeong-Eun!” Your voice filled the air, and Jungkook felt his heart palpitate for a moment. He knew if he continued to stare, he would draw unwanted attention, so he forced himself to keep walking right past you. You were distracted by Jeong-Eun but as you rocked him in your arms, you turned to see the man that had just walked past you, was looking at you. You met his gaze for a moment, your brow furrowed as you saw his brown eyes and you swore you saw a familiar twinkle in them before he turned and ran off.

Jungkook was panting and sweating when he slammed the door of the apartment, his chest heaving as he rested against the shut door. He ripped his hat off his head and tossed it to the floor, his hands running through his hair as he paced back and forth.

Namjoon popped out of his bedroom, his eyes landing on Jungkook. He approached cautiously, his brows knitted together as he saw Jungkook turn to face him.

“What’s wrong, Kook?” Namjoon asked, not knowing if he should get closer or keep his distance.

“Y/n! Y/n, she moved on!” Namjoon miss, knowing this day would come.

“How do you know?”

“I saw her! She has a whole family! She’s been moving on while I’ve been burrowed in my room wallowing over losing her. I feel so stupid!” Jungkook tugs at his hair as he paces back and forth.

“Jungkook, you knew this could happen,” Namjoon sighs heavily as he takes Jungkook’s hands out of his hair, surprised that the younger didn’t fight him on it. “Come on, sit down and tell me what happened.”

“I went to the river, and I was just people watching until I saw a family and I thought the woman looked familiar, so I kept staring until I was close enough to see it was her. She has a husband and a child... I lost my chance, Namjoon. I looked for her so hard and for what? I’ve wasted three years hoping for reconciliation for nothing. I’m an idiot, hyung.” Jungkook throws his head back on the couch as he slides his hand into his pocket to pull out the secret box he had kept hidden. Namjoon is confused as he sees it in Jungkook’s hand, his breath caught in his throat when Jungkook opened it to show him your ring.

“Fuck, Jungkook!” Namjoon curses, rising from his seat as he paces. “What did you expect to happen?”

“I wanted to marry her, hyung. I love her and I thought if I could just talk to her one more time, we could work through it but it’s too late now. She’s happy, she’s moved on. I lost my chance.”

“Fuck. Fuck! Jungkook, there’s something I need to tell you,” Namjoon sighed as he dug into his pocket to pull out his phone.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to expect as Namjoon hands him his phone, unlocked and in a message thread of a name he doesn’t recognize.

[Y/n]: Namjoon, there’s something I need to tell you…

[Namjoon]: Y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay?

[Y/n]: No, I’m not okay. Namjoon, I’m pregnant.

[Namjoon]: Jungkook’s?

[Y/n]: Of course, Jungkook’s! Namjoon, what do I do? I know you said it was best to leave him alone, but this changes everything, doesn’t it?

[Namjoon]: This doesn’t change anything, Y/n. This is what’s best for everyone. You can’t tell Jungkook, he’s unstable enough as it is.

[Y/n]: I see…

Jungkook is furious, Namjoon is keeping his distance as he watches Jungkook intently scroll through the messages he had kept hidden.

[Y/n]: I promised I wouldn’t interfere, but I got my first ultrasound image today.

[IMAGE.JPG]

[Y/n]: I’m having a boy! Oh, I’m so happy, Namjoon! I wish Jungkook was here for this but I won’t tell him, I promise.

[IMAGE.JPG]

[Y/n]: I wish you’d reply, Joonie. Going through this alone has taken a toll on me. I miss Jungkook; I wish he was here with me. I’m scared.

[Y/n]: I’ve picked a name for the baby. I hope you like it, it’s Jeon Jeong-Eun.

[Y/n]: I missed you at my baby shower, but I know it was a long shot. Thanks for the gifts, I’m sure Eun will love them. Here’s a picture of my baby shower.

[IMAGE.JPG]

[MISSED CALL]

[Y/n]: Namjoon! Please come back! My water broke, you’re the only one who can help me.

[Y/n]: Thank you for coming back to the coffee shop. I wasn’t sure if you would but thank you for staying with me for the birth. I know you said not to, but I thought you’d like a picture of you holding Baby Jeon.

[IMAGES.JPG]

[Y/n]: You’ll make a great dad someday.

Jungkook resists the urge to throw the phone on the floor, not wanting to lose the precious images of his child. His eyes locked on Namjoon’s; if looks could kill, he’d be 6 feet under.

“You were there for the birth of my son! You held my child before me?! You knew about my child and you hid it from me?! How dare you?! How dare you do something so despicable, Namjoon?” Jungkook’s voice is steely, it sends shivers down the elder's spine as he keeps his distance.

[Y/n]: Eun is 3 months old today! Look, he has Jungkook’s nose and that little mole under his lip. His eyes twinkle just like his father’s. Sometimes I find it hard to look at him, but I love him so much. He’s everything to me.

[IMAGES.JPG]

[Y/n]: It’s Eun’s first birthday! I wish you had come to his party but I appreciate the gifts, he loves them.

[IMAGE.JPG]

[Y/n]: I’ve met someone, Joon. It’s getting kind of serious, so I might finally move on from Jungkook. I’ll leave you alone as well, I know you’re busy on tour, but I thought I’d let you know. This is good for me and Eun, right? I bet Jungkook’s moved on; I hope he has.

[Y/n]: Joon! He proposed, and I said yes! I'm engaged! I'm so happy, Joon. I hope you’ll come to the wedding once the date is set. I’d love to see you again and I know Eun would too.

[IMAGE.JPG]

Jungkook feels his heart shatter in his chest, his lungs constricting as he finds it hard to breathe as blood boils in him.

“She’s engaged?! You knew this! You knew I was suffering without her and you kept this from me, Namjoon?! You kept my child a secret. My child, Joon!” Jungkook rises to his feet, the phone in his pocket as he storms toward Namjoon. He grabs him by the collar, pushing him up against the wall.

“Hit me, Kook. I deserve it for hiding him from you. I thought it was for the best but I was wrong. I had to do what was best for us.” Jungkook tells out his frustration, causing Jin to come to peek into the room.

“Jungkook! Let him go!” Jin shouts, but Jungkook refuses, gripping Namjoon’s shirt collar tighter, and the elder makes no effort to move away.

“Go away, Jin.” Namjoon states firmly, but Jin shakes his head before Namjoon repeats it and Jin reluctantly leaves.

“Do they know?” Jungkook asks, his voice laced with venom as he glowers at Namjoon.

“No, just me. I didn’t tell them because I knew they would tell you.”

“You’ve been lying to everyone!” Jungkook snaps, pushing Namjoon away as the phone vibrates in his pocket.

Y/n: I think I saw Jungkook today…

Jungkook bristles at the message, his body clamming up as he types a reply.

[Namjoon]: Can you meet me now? I need to talk to you.

Y/n: Namjoon, I can’t. I have Eun with me.

[Namjoon]: That’s okay, bring him. Nobody is here but me.

Jungkook tosses the phone aside with a glare to Namjoon, “get everyone out of the apartment now.”

Namjoon nods, taking off to kick everyone out. Jin bites his lip, hesitant to leave but Namjoon reassured him that he’ll be okay.

Once everyone has left, save for Namjoon, Jungkook paces back and forth as he waits for you to knock. It doesn’t take too long before you come knocking on their door, Jungkook going to hide in the kitchen while Namjoon lets you in. He can hear the two of you talking, his blood boiling as he hears his son squeal when Namjoon picks him up.

Jungkook waits a moment before he steps into the living room, your back to him as you talk to Namjoon, your eyes set on your child in his lap.

“Y/n,” the sound of your name startles you as you whip your head back, your mouth agape when you see your ex standing in front of you. You feel faint, your hands gripping the couch tightly as you turn to look at your son, who smiles and waves at Jungkook, oblivious as to who he is.

“Jungkook,” you’re aware of how small your voice sounds, your body moving closer to your son as Jungkook rounds the couch to sit on the coffee table. His eyes are fixated on his son, taking in every feature that is his.

“He looks like me,” Jungkook murmurs, his hand reaching forward to touch his son’s hair.

“You told him?” Your question is directed at Namjoon, who swallowed thickly before nodding.

“I had to, Y/n. He saw you, both of you.”

“You had no right, Namjoon!” You hiss as you rise from your seat, picking your son up and holding him in your arms.

“Please don’t go. He’s my son, Y/n. I know you’ve moved on, but I didn’t even know he existed. Please, don’t take him away from me. Please.” Jungkook’s eyes are filled with tears as he looks from his son to you. You want to cry, you want to scream, but most of all, you want to run away.

“Jungkook, you were never supposed to find out.”

“But I did, and he’s mine! Y/n, please! If you don’t love me anymore that’s fine, I’ll move on from you once and for all, but please, don’t take him from me; not when I just found out he exists.”

You can feel tears running down your cheeks and your son wipes at them with his tiny hand, his nose scrunching much like Jungkook’s. Your heart aches as you force yourself to smile for your son before setting him down on the couch. You take a deep breath, getting on your knees, eye level with him.

“Eun, baby? You know Uncle Joonie, he gave you all those toys on your birthday, remember? Koya?” Your son nods his head as he points to your bag where you take out a small version of the stuffed toy.

Eun holds it to his chest before you pull out a second stuffed toy, a pink bunny. Jungkook can hear his blood rushing in his ears as his son reaches out for Cooky, holding it to his chest.

“Do you want to go play with Uncle Joonie so mommy can talk to her friend?” Your son nods enthusiastically before he takes Namjoon’s hand and is led out of the living room to give you some privacy.

“Jungkook, I didn’t think you would find out. Namjoon thought it was best for you and Bangtan if I kept him a secret. I wanted to tell you but I was all alone and pregnant; I believed Namjoon would know what was best.”

“You said you were on the pill that night!”

“It’s not 100% effective, Jungkook. Look, I don’t regret that night, not when Eun came out of it. I didn’t want to leave you, but I couldn’t stand in your way.”

“You weren’t, Y/n. Fuck, don’t you get it? I’d have left everything for you, for Eun!” Jungkook is insanely frustrated, his tears spilling down his cheeks.

“That’s why I had to leave, Kook. It’s not just your dreams on the line here. You have all the boys’ dreams in your hands as they do yours. How could I do that to you? To them?”

“You hid my child from me for 3 years, Y/n! I’ve missed so much of his life and I bet he doesn’t even know I’m his dad. Is your fiancé the one he calls daddy?” Jungkook continues to cry, wiping at his face, but he found it useless as tears continued to fall.

“No, he doesn’t. I’ve shown Eun pictures of you before.”

“He’s going to grow up thinking I didn’t want him when I didn’t know about him! How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me, Y/n.” Jungkook is sobbing by now, his cheeks stained with tears, but he doesn’t care at all, not one bit.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. If I could take it back, I would, but it’s done.” You stop talking when Eun runs back in. This time he’s clutching a large Cooky in his hands with Namjoon running after him.

“Sorry, I was showing him the rooms, and he saw Cooky on your bed and took off before I could catch him.” Namjoon apologizes as Eun runs to your lap.

“That’s not yours, baby. You have to give it back,” you state softly making your son pout and it’s almost astonishing how much he resembles Jungkook at that moment.

“That’s okay, Y/n. He can keep it,” Jungkook smiles and Eun immediately perks up, the stars in his eyes mirroring Jungkook’s.

You bite your lip but nod as your son thanks Jungkook with a hug, and Jungkook melts as he holds his son for the first time. His heart feels heavy as he holds him, never wanting to let him go and never wanting to miss a second of his life. Jungkook meets your gaze, silently pleading with you to not take him away again.

“Eun, Jungkook is your daddy,” you state carefully as your son holds Cooky tightly. He perks up at the sound of your voice before looking at Jungkook.

“Daddy,” he tests the word out before smiling as he rambles on about Cooky and his favorite things. Jungkook listens intently, nodding as his son continues to talk about everything that fascinates him. You allow Jungkook to spend the rest of the time with him, smiling when they take pictures together. You promise to send him all the pictures Namjoon has and all the rest that he didn’t.

When Eun falls asleep in Jungkook’s arms, you deemed it necessary to head home. Jungkook offers to take you home and you agree, not wanting to travel alone with a sleeping child.

You linger in the car when you arrive, “take my number down so you can call me or text me if you wanna see him.”

Jungkook nods, taking your phone number and sending you a text right after. You allow him to carry his son into your apartment and put him to bed.

“This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out about him,” you say as you walk Jungkook to the door. He nods, clearing his throat.

“Trust me, I know.” Jungkook sighs heavily, his hand running through his long hair. “You know, I never stopped loving you and it broke my heart to see you run away that day, but I just want you to be happy. I won’t stand in your way, I promise. I just want to be in my son’s life.”

“Jungkook,” you bite your lip not knowing what to say.

“I love you, I’ll probably never stop loving you, but I won’t stand in the way of your happiness. I’m glad you found someone, honestly.” Jungkook smiles, his heart a shattered mess in his chest.

“Jungkook, I-“

Jungkook waits for you to continue but you look at the floor, your hand playing with the ring on your finger, a ring he should have given you.

“I’ve been having second thoughts about getting married. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy but…”

“But?” Jungkook prods, his brows knitted together.

“He’s not you, Jungkook. We’ve been trying to work things out, and that’s why we were at the river today, but after seeing you and after seeing how naturally you’ve taken to Eun, there’s no point for me to marry someone else. I don’t expect anything from you. Hell, you’ve probably found someone else, but I just need you to know that I love you and I never should have walked away.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say, he was speechless. This is everything he wanted to hear over the years and yet, he’s terrified that he might be dreaming. It would be cruel if he were.

“I don’t know what to say? This is what I’ve wanted since we met up in Malta and now my heart is pounding so loud I can’t hear myself think.”

You reach for him, taking his hand in yours to squeeze him before you have him sit on the couch. You sit beside him, freeing your hand for a moment before removing the engagement ring you no longer need.

Jungkook can’t help but smile, excitement thrumming in his veins as he tries to catch his breath.

“Where do we go from here?”

“Jungkook! Hurry!” You shout for your husband as you pat the seat beside you. He rushes in, his long hair bouncing as he sits beside you, his hand immediately replacing yours on your stomach. He grins widely, feeling his baby girl kick for the first time. Tears well up in his eyes as he kisses your stomach repeatedly before sitting up to kiss your cheek.

“Daddy!” Eun shouts as he runs into the room, followed by Namjoon.

“He’s definitely your son, Kook. He runs almost as fast as you do,” Namjoon huffs as he picks up your son.

“He’ll be great at everything,” Jungkook chuckles as he takes Eun from Namjoon to hold on his lap. You smile, kissing your son’s cheek before kissing your husband.

“The cleaning crew should have everything done in a few minutes and then we’ll be taking Eun with us so you two can enjoy a night on your own before the baby gets here.” Taehyung chimes in as he walks into the room.

“That was some baby shower, Y/n,” Jimin says as he joins you, followed by Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jin.

“Thanks,” you smile warmly at them as Jungkook places one hand on your stomach. You blink back the tears that well up in your eyes, knowing this pregnancy has been almost as hard as your first. You had confided in Jungkook that you had felt guilty because he had missed everything you had experienced with this pregnancy with your son. No matter how many times Jungkook told you he forgave you, the guilt lingers in your head and you found it difficult to move past it but Jungkook was at your side to help.

Jungkook wipes your tears away, offering you a soft smile. You try your best to return it, your son now in Jin’s arms so Jungkook can comfort you. The boys quietly give you a wave before they leave your home with the cleaning crew in tow.

“I know what you’re thinking, baby. Look, I’m not upset anymore. I’ve moved past it and I thought you had as well. It looks like we’re going to have to talk to Dr. Seo in our next session about this.” You nod as Jungkook holds you in his arms, assuring you that everything is okay and that he loves you.

You know he does, you wouldn’t have gotten married or pregnant if you doubted him. You hoped you could move past the guilt you were feeling though; it did nothing but hinder your excitement for your baby.

“Come on, let's get you in bed,” Jungkook rides from the couch, helping you up and taking your hand to lead you to your bedroom. You get on the bed with his help and he gets in next to you, holding you in his arms.

“You know, we still need to pick out a name,” Jungkook muses as he kisses your forehead, his hand laced with yours as you relax into his embrace.

“You’re right,” you respond as you bite your lip while you try to think of some names you were considering. Jungkook is thankful you’ve gone for his distraction, not wanting you to lose yourself in your cloud of guilt after such a beautiful day to celebrate your daughter.

Jungkook listens intently to all the names you suggest, his smile never leaving his face as he realizes he finally got everything he wanted as his eyes land on the ring on your finger. Although Jungkook didn’t know what the future held for the four of you, he was sure of one thing; he was never going to stop loving you.

Previous

© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, this includes Youtube.

[ourkarlanicoleuniverse]

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

Warnings: Implied sexual harassment

Shouta Aizawa x OC (Mai Montoya, Pro Hero Zion)

If you want to read of the events before this chapter here is the Master List 😊

“Are you sure, Ms. Montoya? Is that allowed?” Todoroki spoke up, concerned if it will cause more problems.

“Yes, I am sure. There is no problem with me telling you a story.” I reassured them, “Now, like I said, even as a pro, there are times you cross the line when trying to do good.”

And with that, I told them.

It was the end of a week-long investigation and mission against a group of drug dealers and villains. Everyone in the agency was tired and finding ways to destress. On my way out of the building, I noticed one of the interns was being harassed by Gemini. She was a young girl at most seventeen, she had a quirk that wasn’t meant for combat, but her quirk allowed her to hack into any computer or technology we needed her to hack into. Seeing the way he harassed her, how small she was compared to him, her uncomfortable expression… it set me the wrong way because that’s how he made me feel. And to top it all off, he was trying his best to physically touch her skin to use his mind control quirk on her. To make her more compliant, as he would put it.

Anger rose within me. I couldn’t just let him get away with this. I couldn’t let him victimize her. So I put my gloved upon his neck and used my quirk on him to take his away. Afterward, I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him off of her, throwing him to the wall.

It wasn’t wrong what I did. It just went against my agency’s rules and contracts.

You can not use your quirk on colleagues.

It didn’t matter if he had done it numerous times. He was Gemini, the number one hero in the United States, and also my boss. So rules didn’t apply to him. But no matter my status, it did still applied to me.

“So yeah, I saved a girl from being a victim of sexual assault and harassment, but it ended up biting me in the ass because it was against my agency’s rules to use my quirk against a colleague. That’s why I got the license suspended for a year.”

“That’s not right. He was doing villainy. He’s not a true hero. He should’ve had his license revoked.” Todoroki spoke out quietly.

“It might be unfair, but it’s a lesson I learned the hard way that sometimes your anger can make you forget about the consequences of doing the right thing. Licensed or not. So I would highly suggest finding ways to learn how to think clearly when you are passionate, to avoid getting into trouble.” I paused for a moment to look at Iida, “And maybe we should have sessions about how you were more than willing to get rid of Stain because license or not, killing isn’t allowed. So don’t expect me not to be a little concerned about you intentionally wanting to murder a villain.” He looked shocked that I even suspected that he wanted to kill Stain, but then he thought for a moment to see that he never said that he just wanted Stain to be arrested or anything, just to be ridden of. I got up from the bed, “Alright, so I’ll leave you three to talk amongst yourselves and reflect on things. I’ll be speaking with the doctors that looked after you and will be calling your parents and caretakers with them.”

I left the boys to their own devices as I decided to text Aizawa what was happening. No response was given. He was probably busy patrolling. As I went to call parents, Iida’s mom was still in Hosu, so she could pick him up and take him home. Fuyumi was busy with her teaching job but assumed her father would take care of Shoto while he was in Hosu, so I had to leave Shoto under his dad’s watch again. Who broke my heart was Inko Midoriya, she was crying over the phone, and I couldn’t really do anything to stop it.

“I want him to follow his dreams, just seeing my baby get hurt over and over again is starting to really take a toll on me. And I can’t be there with him. I am very lucky to say that you actually do care about your students. Izuku speaks highly of you, so thank you for that. Please, stay with him over the weekend until I can make it to the hospital. I know it might seem like you’re favoriting him, but…”

I interrupted, “I have to stay with them until their parents arrive anyway. I don’t mind looking after your son. With his injuries, he’ll be here the longest, so if you can’t be here with him, I will gladly be here for you and keep you updated.”

There was a pause on the other line, “Thank you so much, Ms. Montoya.”

“It’s my job to care for them and help when I can. Don’t be afraid to ask anything of me. You won’t be overstepping.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. I needed to let Midoriya know how this is affecting his poor sweet mom. “I know where you are coming from. My mom was a single mom and was always worried about me when I was in my hero training. So I will definitely advise your son to calm down and not push himself too much.”

“I don’t know how she did it.” The woman breathed out.

“Honestly? It was tough. She still worries about me.” I nervously laughed.

“Alright, well, thank you again. It’s nice to hear that you know where my worries stem from. I’ll let you go now to focus on the boys. Give them my support and let them all know. I hope they are all okay.”

“I will, Mrs. Midoriya. I’ll keep you updated on your son.” And the line was cut. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and I was transported back into time, listening to my mom’s frantic yelling at Nezu after my licensing exam…

“I told you to put her in the general course, Nezu!” My mom frailed her arms, her onyx curls bouncing in response. “Now look, she almost died taking this stupid hero licensing exam!”

“She did really well using her quirk. It allowed her to pass. And look! She’s perfectly fine. Her costume is a little wet, but she’s fine.” Nezu responded.

“The other students nearly drowned her! She wasn’t moving for two whole minutes!” There was another pause followed by sobbing, “I can’t take this. I tried my best to keep her safe for fifteen years. You don’t understand the sacrifices I made… I know I might not be the best parent or that I might seem irrational. But I know I am right about one thing. Her quirk. It’s not something that will bring her happiness. She will always be targeted for it, and I don’t feel comfortable with her having a career where she showcases it.” It’s not something that will bring her happiness…

I couldn’t help but laugh. She wasn’t wrong.

I felt a handset itself on my left knee, and I turned to see Gran Torino, “That boy, is sure, a lot of trouble. It reminds me of Toshinori.”

“Yeah. It makes you better understand why he chose him. His mom is super worried about him, though. It reminds me a little about mine.” I looked down at my feet, a little ashamed of all the crap I give my mom despite everything.

“Eh, your mom was holding you back based on her own fears of not being able to control everything in her life. Otherwise, she wouldn’t show any disdain towards everything you do.” And then there’s Gran Torino reminding me why I don’t have a good relationship with her in the first place. “Still, I have to admit, you wouldn’t be the person you are without her raising you in the first place, so she is a decent mom.”

“She’s not all bad.” I looked over at the old man who decided to sit next to me.

“Oh yeah, making your daughter feel guilty for using her quirk to help people because dear old mom and dad were going to come and find you. Even though you made friends with a long list of pros that would protect you. And then when you left for the U.S., she was angry, and even now, with the lawsuit and losing your license, she blames you for not standing by and letting everything happen. She’s nicer to others than you because she sees you as a little girl that doesn’t know anything about the world. Forgetting everything you ever went through... She doesn’t see you as a person.”

“She didn’t have the best upbringing herself. Plus, she was twenty in college when she had me, so it's hard for someone to be a parent when they’re barely an adult.”

“Doesn’t give her a right to be completely entitled and treat you like you’re lesser. This is why I chose not to have kids. I didn’t want to turn out like that and screw up my kids.”

Ding. Ding. DING. DING. I looked down on my phone to two text messages.

Unknown Number

I really wish I had you in bed right now, poppy. You were always the perfect little….

I didn’t bother reading the rest and blocked the number. It’s like he has a hundred phones.

Aizawa 🐛🐱

Are you with the students already? Gran Torino said he’d call you. Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be on my way soon to the hospital. I got stuck dealing with some villains. Hope this didn’t ruin your date with Vlad.

What a dork mentioning my date.

“You okay, Mai?” Gran Torino asked, trying to peer over at my phone.

“Yeah, I just need a new number. But Eraserhead said he’s barely on his way. Patrol got a little hectic.”

“I talked with Nezu about that. Is Gemini really still harassing you? Didn't leaving the U.S. become the best thing for him?”

“Why were you talking about that with Nezu?” I gave him a crude look.

“You don’t call me often, so I have to find some way to check up on you.” He matched my expression, “You’re my favorite kid I ever taught. Remind me so much of Nana.”

I took a deep breath. Nana Shimura. All Might’s predecessor, his mentor, his mother figure. He didn’t talk much about her to me, only little comments here and there. But with Gran Torino, it was different. Ever since the first day I met him, he always found some way to say I was like her. Unfortunately, I was never able to meet her. Sometimes I wonder if she would like me…

“You still wear your hair like hers when you’re too lazily to do your hair, I see.”

I chuckled a little as the old man ran his hand through the dark waves that didn’t fall into my bun, “I wonder if she would’ve liked me.”

Gran Torino looked at me, wholeheartedly, “With no doubt in my mind. She would’ve adored you, my little starlight.”

Time went on as I waited for Aizawa to come to check on the boys. Gran Torino got to speak with Midoriya alone before leaving himself. In the meantime, I was just with the two other boys showing them different movies on my laptop and talking more about either the incident or whatever came into mind. They seemed to calm down after a while and were finally able to relax, which made me more relieved.

We were in the middle of watching a movie when Aizawa barged in with his capture weapon in his hand and goggles on his head. “Alright, catch me up.”

I peered from behind my laptop screen in between the Todoroki and Iida’s beds, dumbfounded at the sudden intrusion. The boys looked just as surprised I was. Aizawa just stared at me like he was waiting for me to say something…. OH, RIGHT, I AM THE ONE HE’S TALKING TO, DUH! “Oh, me, sorry.” I uncrossed my legs and handed my laptop to Todoroki and let him and Iida continue the movie without me.

I walked out of the room and guided Aizawa to the hallway, “Everyone is fine for the most part. You know how our students are. Budding into things they aren’t supposed to because they want to be heroes. They ran into the hero killer, and they ended up injured, but luckily they are alive, so that’s all that matters. The police said that they’d make up a story saying that Endeavor took care of Stain so that the students don’t get charged with anything.” I mainly said everything in English and barely above a whisper to avoid eavesdroppers. I had Aizawa lean down to my level, his hair lightly tickling my lips as I whispered into his ear.

He then turned to look me in the eye. His grey eyes were looking strained and slightly redder than on most days. His face was inches from mine. “And their injuries?”

“Midoriya the usual, broken arms and was stabbed, Todoroki was the least injured, and Iida was paralyzed by Stain’s quirk and injured his left arm to the point that it’s possible that without the proper care he might not be able to use it again, but his mom is going to pick him up tomorrow and move him to heal at home with a private doctor, so I don’t think it’s a full concern right now.” His eyes were bothering me, so I instinctively went for his utility belt to grab his eye drops and handed the bottle to him, “Sorry, your eyes look really dry right now.”

My hand lingered a little too long as he took long to grab the eye drops in his palm, “Thanks. Did you come right away?”

I shrugged, “I came as soon as Gran Torino called me.”

“Did it interrupt your date? I’m assuming no because you’re not dressed up.”

“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows at him. I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. I just liked seeing his stoic nature get flustered.

“I… I … I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you look like you were just lounging around at home.” He avoided eye contact with me and then proceeded to use it as an excuse to put in some eye drops.

“I know I was just pulling your leg. Now I wasn’t really interrupted or anything. The date was over by the time Gran Torino called.” I waved my hand at him to metaphorically brush off the date topic.

“Then explain the bruise on your neck.” He grumbled, leaning his head back.

“The what?” My eyes widened in horror. I’m going to kill Vlad. I ran to a hospital window to check my neck in the reflection. And the hobo was right. There was a dark spot right on the left side of my neck. More specifically, where I had a mole. I turned back to Aizawa, embarrassed and holding my neck, “Please tell me it wasn’t that noticeable…”

“If I noticed, I’m sure other people did too.”

“Shota!”

“What?”

“You’re not helping.” I moved my hair to go in and cover the blasted hickey Vlad left me. God, Gran Torino probably saw it… MY STUDENTS PROBABLY SAW IT…

Suddenly a rumble of laughter rang through my ears like smooth waves, “I’ve never seen you so embarrassed. You’re a grown woman. Calm down.” I couldn’t do anything but glare at him, “You look like an angry tomato, come here.” He put his eye drops back in their spot in his belt and then reached a hand out for me. I reluctantly took it, and he pulled me in.

I was flushed against him and felt everything. His breath fanning me, his heart beating in between soft motions or rapid-fire speed, his fingers tight around one hand while the other hand landed on the small of my back, setting ablaze to the spot. His eyes were soft and warm… just like in high school… god, what is wrong with me? I was just on a date with Vlad and having a really, really, good time with him. But now here I am near Aizawa, and suddenly all the feelings Vlad gave me, I feel it times a thousand with the sweet nothing Aizawa is giving me. This is bad. Really, really bad.

Suddenly, I felt a weighted material falling along my shoulders. It was Aizawa’s capture weapon being wrapped around my neck, “Normally, I don’t like wrapping people I care about in this thing because it’s for solely work and to restrain villains. But I don’t have a scarf on me, so it will make due for now to save you some more embarrassment.”

Care about… My mind decided to wander to the one question that haunted me for years. “Shota…”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to answer me or anything. But there’s a question that I always wanted to ask you.” I held the weapon in my hand, feeling the material contrast with my skin, and looked mindlessly at the ground, “What made you not want to talk to me for so long? I tried for a year after I left, and you never responded. I remembered five years ago, you said you didn’t want to be a burden, but I feel like it wasn’t that… Because you said you cared about me then, and you're saying that now. And if you did, it wouldn’t have mattered if you felt like a burden because you would’ve still tried, you know? If anything… I always felt like I was the burden. So, I just wanted to know the real reason.” My eyes were slightly stinging because I wanted to avoid crying. This shit with Gemini is really hitting me. He always made sure that I was nothing and just a burden. Same with my mom, too, I guess. So, part of me always felt that I fucked things up with Aizawa like I was just a pity party…

I felt the weapon get tugged a little, and I was met with the warm grey eyes again, this time with determination and desperation. He lightly placed his hands on either side of my face, “You have never once been a burden to me, Mai. I am so sorry if I ever made you feel like that. The reason for our friendship being broken for so long was my cowardly self’s fault. Not yours. If I knew you felt like that, I would’ve done my best to be a better person for you than I was.” He wiped a tear away from my cheek, “You’re an amazing person. I shouldn’t have ever let you go. I consider myself lucky to have you back in my life.”

I couldn’t help the feeling that was coursing through me. I never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss the man in front of me… Maybe it was just my emotions getting the best of me? I'm pretty sure he felt the same way because I caught his eyes, switching their attention to my lips before back to my eyes. I looked at him with anticipation. But we both knew nothing was going to happen again. It would’ve been wrong.

I decided I would be the one to break the contact. I delicately took his hands in mine and took them off of my face, “I have to go back in there with the students. Gran Torino is with Midoriya right now. He’ll go more into detail with you about tonight.”

“Mai… I really want...” He switched our hands so that he would be the one caging mine.

“Ms. Montoya?” We were both interrupted by one of our students. Our eyes followed the voice, and it was Midoriya with Gran Torino following behind them.

Aizawa and I immediately dropped our hands, “Yes, Midoriya?”

“Sorry if I interrupted anything. Just Gran Torino and I got to talking, and I have some things I wanted to talk to you about.” Midoriya was blushing as if he caught two lovers in bed or something. On the other hand, Gran Torino had a more knowing look as his eyes shifted between the two of us.

“Oh no, it’s okay, Midoriya. Come on, we can talk on the way to the cafeteria, and we can get something before it closes.” I motioned the boy over to me and just gave Aizawa an apologetic look as he walked over to talk with Gran Torino. To be very honest, though, I am pretty relieved for the interruption. I wasn’t really prepared to hear anything that Aizawa was going to say. We love avoiding the inevitable, don’t we, Mai?

—————————————-

Tag list

@multifandoms916 @inumorph @thatgirlwithcamera @mel-sanch

[fallen029]

Missing You

She'd been slinging drinks all day, dodging compliments left and right, all while plastering that same stupid smile on her face and it was just a stressful day, honestly, for Mirajane. No more so than usual, but for some reason, it felt extra strenuous as her sister, who'd been helping during busy shifts recently, had absconded off with Natsu and Happy, which left her and Kinana to be slammed all alone.

Which wasn't a problem. Not in the slightest. Nope. Mirajane worked with a smile on her face and kind words on her tongue as the drunks and rowdy guild members absolutely wrecked the place. Master Makarov and Erza were out, the former at a conference and the latter on an S-Class job, which meant there was no chance of either arriving back any time soon and that meant, for the past day or so, that they could all act like complete fools if they so wished.

And oh, at Fairy Tail, they always wished.

Mirajane wished for things too. A lot of things. But one thing in particular, that day, as she found her eyes lingering on the door in the few moments she had to take a breath, hoping and waiting. But each and every time, as her bated breath was shattered by disappointment, whenever it was opened, the thick guildhall doors revealed any number of members other than the exact one she wanted to see.

She did find a smile truly gracing her lips, however, when after all the hoopla the evening brought died down and the place started to clear out, her younger brother came to remark how he'd stick around till she and Kinana finished closing up.

"Always good to have a strong man to walk you home, huh?" he offered and Kinana giggled while Mira, not so sure on who would protect who out of the two of them, only let a hand grace his bicep thankfully.

Elfman helped Kinana clean up around the place, making idle chatter with the mostly agreeable woman, while Mirajane disappeared into Master Makarov's office to put away the jewels for the day. And though she was in something of a rush, hoping to get home to sink into her sheets before it got too late as, of course, she'd have to be right back at the bar, bright and early the next morning, least it not be opened properly, Mirajane still found herself falling into the Master's comfortable chair, her tired feet thankful for even the littlest of reprieves.

It had been a long few weeks. Not that anything truly had changed. Not really. She held things down at the bar and watched all her friends come, go, leave, return. She listed to their stories with bright eyes, interjecting with the silliest of thoughts, ponderings, causing mystification and awe with each conversation. She took breaks with Lucy and Plue, were the celestial mage around to accomadate this, and when she wasn't, either found herself making chatter with Levy or Laki. Once, before she left on her newest S-Class job, Mira and Erza talked idly for a good ten minutes, in a way they hadn't in what felt like years.

Things had been great.

But...something was missing.

Something always felt like it was missing in Mirajane's life. And wasn't it? Loss had followed her from birth till that moment, as she sat in the too old Master's chair who, honestly, she imagined some days, when he was coughing a bit too much, hobbling far too often, and just overall looked unwell, would more than likely be the next hole she'd never be able to fill. Though it was his scent, his presence, that encapsulated the entire back office, as Mira sank further into his desk chair, it was another Dreyar that she found her mind drifting towards.

It was just hard. Sometimes.

When he went out on jobs. Especially the long ones. It was the name of the game, especially with how high ranking he was, but…

She'd thought that she'd fallen asleep. Maybe she had. But it was the sound of the guild hall doors opening and closing, a sound that echoed through the mostly empty hall, that jolted her awake, as well as the sound of her boisterous younger brother calling out, "Bar's closed for the night."

There was a pause, though not a tense one, before a simple response of, "Yeah? Well I ain't here for the bar."

Mirajane shoved up then, at the voice, and though she was too tired to rush, she did make it back into the main part of the hall in time to catch the need of Elfman's reply.

"Then what," he questioned simply, "are you here for, Laxus?"

He didn't rightly answer, the blond slayer didn't. He wasn't the type to think that he had to do much of that, answering, to those who he deemed lower than himself. And oh, Elfman was way lower than him. Still, this wasn't quite the reason he fell silent as, instead of speaking to the man, his eyes had fallen away, off to the side where, from the darkened back hallway, Mirajane emerged, surprise etched into her features.

Noting his gaze, Elfman glanced that way too. When all he saw was his sister though, he laughed, slightly, before saying, "Hate to tell ya this, but Master's out. Conference. It was just Mirajane back there."

But it was never just Mirajane, to the man.

"Is that right?" he questioned back to Elfman who, simply, nodded. Snorting, Laxus looked away from Mira's captivating blue eyes, and instead shrugged his shoulders some. "My mistake."

"Well, I think he'll be back soon," Kinana offered from where she was now, wiping down the bar. "Laxus. Oh, I know! If you're too busy to come by the next few days, just to see when he gets in, you could write it down. Or tell it to one of us. I'm sure we'll remember to pass the message along. And if it's really serious, then-"

"It's personal," the slayer offered bluntly before, again, shrugging. "I'll handle speaking to Gramps on my own. Just got into town, passed by, saw the lights still all on, and thought I'd come in and say hello to the old geezer. Speak on a few things. But since you're all around- Say, what are you all doing here so late anyhow?"

"It's not so late," Kinana offered with a slight smile. "It's rather normal, for closing hours."

"Is it?"

Elfman though, who was sweeping, huffed some as he went back to it, "Real men know how to delegate. That's why my sister has me doing this. She's a real man."

Finally finished with sticking to the shadows, the woman in question walked further into the main hall as she said, "Elf, I think you and Kinana have done enough, honestly. Lisanna is supposed to come by in the morning to help me open up. Why don't you guys head out without me?"

"Us?" Elfman dropped his broom with a frown. "No way, sis. I'm walkin' ya both home. Of course I am. Why else would I have stayed? We'll wait for you."

"It's really no bother, Mira," Kinana tried to help. "I'm just finishing up back here and-"

"I still have to mop around the pool," Mira told them simply. "It's silly for you guys to stick around for that."

"Then it's silly for you to stick around for it," Elfman argued. "I'll mop around the pool! And do whatever else you need. And-"

"Elf-"

"Hey, Elfman, I just got in town, yeah?" Laxus, suddenly, was talking again, arms folded over his chest as he stared at the man quizzically. "So, man to man, can you tell me something?"

At the sound of that, the larger man puffed out his chest, turning from his sister to the slayer.

"Of course," he bellowed. "What's up, Laxus?"

"It's just," the blond began, "I'm a man. And when I get back in town, after not seein' my woman for awhile, the only thing I wanna do is get to her. You know?"

"I," Elfman declared, honestly not even really considering the question, "know."

"If my woman was a mage even, I mean, the second she got back from a long job," the man kept up, "I'd probably be trying to get to her as soon as possible."

"As soon as possible, yep. Checks out."

"So how is it," Laxus finally asked, "that I just got back in town, with the Thunder Legion, after almost a month away, and you're sticking around here, with your sister, having her hand out chores to ya, like you're a little boy, while your woman, Evergreen, is only blocks away, in an empty bed? Just don't make sense to me."

He seemed uncomfortable then, Elfman did, as his chest deflated some and he remarked, "Well...Ever and I aren't exactly-"

"You were all she talked about," Laxus went on. "Was missin' you somethin' fierce, she said, a few times. Couldn't wait to get back to her man, she insisted. But here you are, hanging around the hall, so late at night-"

"Ever… She usually is the one, you know, to, uh, initiate… Well, she lives in the dorms and-"

"And?" Laxus clicked his tongue with a shake of his head. "My woman did, I'd be sneakin' into that place every fuckin' night. To, you know, fuck. Like a man."

"Yeah," Elfman agreed as Mirajane's eyes widened and Kinana, blushing, busied herself with wiping down the bar. "To fuck."

"Just what I was thinkin', s'all." Again, the slayer shrugged, with a sigh. "I'd be climbin' up to my woman's window, knockin' on the glass, askin' if she would let me in."

"Really? That's...what a man would do?"

"Aye," Laxus decided with a nod. "I'd say it's what a...real man would do."

Elfman paused, standing there for a second in thought. Then, with a shake of his head, saying, "I got to walk my sister and Kinana home. A really real man keeps his word, after all."

"Oh." The slayer seemed rather remorseful over this, mimicking how down the big oaf looked before, with a snap of his fingers, he said, "Say, Kinana, you live in the dorms, huh? So, Elfman, if you walked her home, she could probably sneak ya in, right? Get you right to Ever's door where, you know, you knock and all that? Surprise her?"

"Could you?" When Elfman looked to Kinana, her cheeks were still rosy, but the woman nodded regardless. "That'd be great! That- Oh. Mirajane. I said I'd walk my sister home too."

"Well, I'm here." Laxus patted at his chest then. "And since you've had this whole conversation with me, what if I, as another man, do you the honor, huh? Walk your sister home?"

"Really?" Elfman tossed an arm in the air at the slayer's nod. "Alright! C'mon Kinana! Let's get outta here."

"Take a bottle of wine," Mirajane suggested as, recovering, she had something of a knowing smile on her face. But it wasn't meant for her brother. At all. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Both of you."

They let them leave, Mirajane and Laxus did, watching as Kinana giggled and Elfman practically bounced with excitement, the pair leaving the hall together in record time. Mira and Laxus even waited a minute, just to be sure, just to be certain that finally, after so long, they were alone.

"Knock on many windows, mister?" she asked, "Knocking on doors in the middle of the night?"

"Fuck no. That's desperate shit."

"And my dragon's not desperate."

She was coming closer, as she spoke, while Laxus only shook his head.

"What's there to be desperate for?" he questioned as, the second she was in front of her, he reached for her, his jacket falling to the ground, but neither rightly caring to retrieve it. "When you're me? And got your very own demon, right there waiting for you at home?"

"You didn't always," she pointed out, but again, there was a shake of his soft, blond locks.

"What exists before me and you, huh, demon?" He was grinning, truly, not a brilliant one, but enough to bring a real one out from the woman as she stared up into his dark eyes. "Nothin' I'm interested in."

"You're gonna get my brother in trouble, you know," she thought to say. "Sneaking around the girls dorm."

"Erza'll just kick his ass right out," he assured the woman. "Make for an eventful evenin' for the guy, anyways."

"Was Evergreen even truly asking for him?"

"How should I know? When I spent every second I wasn't zeroed in on my job thinkin' about you?" One of his hands came up then, to tug her bangs down and Mirajane laughed, falling into his chest.

"I missed you," she whispered softly to the fabric of his shirt and the slayer didn't have that same, in complete control tone he seemed to take so often. "Laxus."

"I missed you too," he assured the woman. "Mirajane. I love you."

Giggling, she fell away from him some then, fighting the yawn that crept up her throat as she remarked, "I don't think we'll be doing much tonight, you know. I think it's very cute that you came all this way just to see me, but I'm so tired, I… I wish I could stay up, to do something with you, but-"

"I just wanna get you home, in bed," he told the man simply, "and fall asleep. Just so I can wake up next to you again. It's what I miss the most. When I'm away."

"Really?"

"Well," he offered and Mira found herself giggling into her palm, "one of the things."

"I want to do everything," she insisted though, "with you. Dragon. That I've missed."

"We will." He even nodded. "I'm plannin' on sticking around for a bit and we'll get to each and every thing on your list. I promise. But for tonight," and he was reaching then, to take her hand, drag her out of the place, mopping be damned, "I just want to be with you. Just next to you's enough. For now. Demon."

She snagged his coat on the way out, wishing to wrap it around her shoulders. The second they were outside, in the cool air, she found she was thankful for this, and snuggled into the garment as she locked up the thick guildhall doors.

"It will be nice," she mused as the slayer stood behind her, watching this. "I like your bed so much more than my own."

"Shouldda known. Wantin' me for my bed." He tsked some, as she was the one then, all finished up, to come snag his hand and drag him across the Fairy Tail grounds. "Sounds exactly like somethin' a demon would do."

"I want you for more than that, dragon," she assured him, but just as the man started to grin again, she said, "The jewels you bring in are a nice prize as well."

Grunting some, he held her hand tightly as they started off into the night together, headed back to his apartment for the first time in a good bit. To the woman, he remarked, "Anything good happen when I was gone?"

"No," Mira easily answered while smiling up at the man. "Nothing as good as you coming back."

[watchtheblog]

petty cache

thank you for coming to read my diary which masquerades as a blog but is actually just a vessel for disseminating my birthday wishlists. it’s like an event you show up to where the host tries to sell you a timeshare 25 minutes after some requisite, mindless song and dance.

welcome! if you’d like purchase a timeshare, scroll to the bottom. for the song and dance, look no further:

the other day i zoned out on zoom therapy and when my therapist asked where i “went” i had to lie because i had gone to the part of my brain that holds all the things i need to think about forever for no reason (i call it the petty cache — this is an umbrella term for the space that also houses my attitude cabinet) and dusted off a memory of a comment i saw on a stranger’s facebook three weeks ago that said “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”.

i don’t know either person, and that’s what i was thinking about. i spend $[redacted] a month on therapy and instead of focusing on one of my numerous unsolved mysteries, i was thinking about the nuances of this comment - like why they wouldn’t just share the news or message the person directly? or what losing their password had to do with anything? or why they would comment on facebook instead of texting or calling the person. did they not have their number? imagine not knowing someone well enough to have their phone number, but still wanting to share your good news with them!

all i want (for my birthday) is to know what the news is that this stranger has to share, and i’ll never know so i have to put that comment in my minutiae repository with all the other things that will plague me until i die from texting and driving, smoke inhalation as a result of purposely leaving a candle lit in my home overnight almost every night, consuming half a dozen hot dogs a week, or a now unnamed disease that will posthumously be attributed to my chronic inability to mind my own business.

i’m constantly concerning myself with things that are none of my concern - no matter how insignificant - because my brain is a commune of sentient pepperoni running instagram polls among themselves to discern if something is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about. and guess what? it turns out absolutely everything that has ever offended, confused, bothered, intrigued, slightly inconvenienced, or merely happened to me is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about.

because i devote so much energy to nonsense, i can often be found persecuting strangers for insulting me on the internet (and for other miscellaneous bad behavior). the information superhighway is my home so i have to protect myself (and my friends) here, and if that means spending 45 minutes to 48 hours trying to find every misstep you’ve made in your life until i have enough ammunition to spray a dozen simulated retaliatory bullets at your virtual head because you called me a “stupid bitch” on instagram, well… so be it!

i am relentless in my pursuit of wasting time, so if that doesn’t work, i will find the cold stone creamery you frequent, seek employment there, be hired on the spot, learn the craft, be promoted to manager, poison you on your birthday, gain access to your funeral, and tarnish your reputation by reading your shitty DM in front of the few family and friends whom i haven’t already made aware of the abhorrent way you conducted yourself online!

there are so many different ways strangers will try to hurt your feelings — an interesting genre of which come from men who (like me) have definitely never had sex before, and mistakenly think i care about the ways in which my body does not make them horny.

“no tits” one will say. and i’m like, how do you want me to respond to that? my boobs are indeed small, yes. did you come here to shoot facts back and forth all day? ok: you’re going to start balding way sooner than you’re prepared for, i bet your childhood dog is dead, your time on the internet should be supervised, your closet is full of vests, and you wait on line at nightclubs… good day?!

while i will obviously engage with anyone if they want to fight, i prefer when the unsolicited criticism is personalized, and not just thoughtless, lazily devised tripe.

a year and a half ago, a man who looked like he exhales smog DMed me to let me know - among other things in a paragraph long rant - he’d “lost brain cells” watching my story. knowing he had likely never had an adequate amount to begin with, it seemed like an emergency, so i started a group DM with his wife. because his message had come just three days after a “fuckkk [heart eye emoji]” response to a photo of my ass, i included a screenshot as evidence of his devolving mental state.

being - presumably - gainfully employed, neither of them responded.

luckily, the consolation prize for insulting me is that you gain residency in my brain and stay in my thoughts and prayers for all eternity, so i checked in on them a few days ago. they’d unfollowed and wiped their feeds clean of each other!!

because i’ve never “moved on” in my entire life, i fired up our long dormant group chat, and sent my condolences: “aw. sorry your trip to positano - where you were going to attempt to repair your ramshackle marriage - got cancelled because of covid and so you just got divorced instead :(” i wrote before being blocked by both of them. 

then i headed right over to my therapist’s facebook and commented “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”

i spent an entire therapy session detailing this monomania before my therapist thoughtfully suggested i “pick [my] battles”.

to which i thoughtfully responded: yeah, babe. i pick every single one.

                                                        ***

timeshare time! it’s the same list as this post, with a few additions (at top) (and edits based on availability).

places to donate food education fund pretty brown girl the okra project

some furniture stuff a side table  a pointless, laughably tiny little thing this website is calling a “drink table” a lamp one of these benches i do not want this but it’s important to me that at least 2 other people know it exists

this plant that obviously does not need to cost $165 but idk how to shop economically

air pods

gifts from the previous post - all still v much in play!

a pair of shoes (size 8 or 38) one pair, another pair, yet another, these are on sale, these are not, and a final pair

a specific clutch with three color choices they allege this color is called sand but it looks white to me, pink, green for those who do not know what malachite means (it couldn’t be me. i learned it 3 hours ago when i began compiling this cursed list)

something everyone with money to waste needs this

dresses i’ll never be able to wear until there’s a vaccine because unlike someone tacky who knows me, i won’t be having a birthday party in the middle of a global pandemic (hi, you fool) white polka dot, not white polka dot, also not polka dot, a red dress, a skirt (aka half a dress), a black dress

this sweatsuit xs in this, small in this

is sephora cancelled? i want this hair dryer which i’m sure you can buy elsewhere if sephora is cancelled, which it v well may be

this item which you may think is cheap but actually it’s not soooo a hairpin

earrings one pair, another pair, and another

this dress which i’ll never wear anywhere even when there is a vaccine because… what?! but maybe. you never know. size 34. lol when i get this far into the list i’m always blown away by how insane it is that i do this every year to no audience. so i’m just laughing alone at that. :) i am v funny to myself. another dress i’ll never wear ;)

the nicest weighted blanket you know of i’m depressed!!!!! if you can’t tell!!!!!!!

every year i have asked for a weekend bag and every year i have not received one, so alas, we try again this is not a weekend bag actually but it will do. this is!

a peloton but just venmo me the cash (@merce212) because i have a hookup

an assortment of ridiculous things a $500 body scarf a $580 beach towel with an octopus on it for no reason besides “art” i cannot tell analog time but it’s never too late to start!! how mad would you be if someone bought you a roulette table for your wrist? be honest. (THIS WATCH IS FOUR YEARS RENT!!!!!!) they won’t say how much this costs :( i’m losing my mind and must be gifted a chanel watch or else i will perish. to put my salami on when i am eating salami in my bed “24k gold crocodile [?!!) teddy bear”. the website says there’s only one left, which begs the question “why did someone buy one of these rather than buying me a chanel watch?!!” *real ‘billionaires shouldn’t exist [unless they’re buying me a watch]’ energy* to put my new watch in this is ugly but it’s on sale :) idk wtf “secret box pendant” means but i wish this necklace was also a USB with every season and spinoff of 90 day fiancé on it hi yes i’m stupid but i draw the line at $1500 connect four…

[pbjpuppy]

Walks

I’ve been going on a lot of walks recently.

‘Cause, y’know being in the house all the time isn’t really good for you. Like, y’know, cabin fever and stuff? Plus, we just did this unit in science- through the computer, they’re calling it distance learning- about indoor air pollution, and how the air inside a home can be multiple times more polluted than outside air, and how most people spend most of their time indoors (90%!), which really makes sitting in my bedroom for long periods of time kind of unappealing.

I don’t always like staying in my room anyway. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I spend most of my time in there like any other teenager does, and it’s great! I love my room. I’m even lucky enough to have my own instead of having to share it with a sibling like some people do. But still, even if you live in paradise it’s a prison if you can’t leave, so I don’t stay in there all the time. Sometimes I just wander around my house in circles instead. Or sit in my dad’s room.

Anyway- walks. Lots of them. One every day is the new routine, unless I get lazy, which has happened once or twice and I always regret it. To the end of the block, which intersects the road in a “T” shape, then I turn to the right and walk all the way until the sidewalk ends (Through the old elementary school’s parking lot- I’m always worried security will yell at me, but so far I’ve been peacefully ignored), then I turn back and walk all the way past my block again to the other end of the sidewalk, then home. It’s not the most scenic route; I live in the suburbs of Long Island and all the trees are dead because it’s only just turned April, and all there is to see is houses and road.

I keep myself entertained, though. There’s actually a lot to see if you really look. Nothing extraordinary, but that’s kind of what I like about it. I keep my eyes to the ground a lot, and you see a lot of litter on the ground: Cups, cans, cigarette boxes, packs of tissues, chicken wire, caution tape, strange boxy wooden contraptions that look busted and have been abandoned. Once I even saw an unopened condom. It’s an environmental nightmare, of course, but for the arrogant human on her walk it provides plenty of brain food. For every piece of trash there was a living, breathing human who held it, who used it, who discarded it. I wonder what they’re like and if I’ll ever meet them, what they’re up to. If they’re alive right now.

There’s not much that’s all too impressive in terms of nature, like I said, but it’s still outside, and I’ve seen a bunch of interesting nature-y things, too. On my first walk, I found a chunk of a wasp’s nest, half-rotted. Recently I found a bird’s nest too, and I wanted to go pick it up, but it was in somebody’s yard and I didn’t want to get yelled at for trespassing. Just today I passed right through a murder of crows, kind of. They were perched in a group on the trees and telephone wires, and their croaking startled me out of my daydreaming to admire them. I’ve seen a lot of things that look like bones that aren’t bones, and one time I saw something that looked like a bone that actually was a bone.

The one natural thing I don’t see on my walks is humans. Not one in a week. I would have expected to see at least one person walking their dog or something, or just doing work in the yard. I mean, everybody else has to be as restless as I am inside, right? But no, no people to be seen. That’s okay, though. The sidewalk is narrow, I like not having to share it. It also means I can text while I walk and not worry about bumping into someone. Plus, I guess it’s been kind of yucky out weather-wise. By the time I get home from my walks my nose is usually pink and runny from the cold.

I live with two other people, my dog, my cat, and my two pet rats. That makes seven living things and three living humans. The house is quiet a lot of the time. My brother and I are both teenagers- I’m seventeen, he’s nineteen- and we spend a lot of time in our rooms. My dad is usually working, or out of the house. He likes to go over to his girlfriend’s house a lot, or out to the city for the weekend before… Everything happened, and I’ll take care of myself for the evening and the following day or so. Sometimes it’s longer than that. I don’t hear from my brother those days, he makes his own food. Sometimes I’ll be home alone and won’t even realize until I walk past his bedroom and see it’s been empty this whole time.

My dad’s been away a lot this week, I think. And my brother’s been quiet. I think he’s told me he doesn’t feel well. That’s okay. I can take care of myself well enough and I think I have people online to talk to. My dog barks a lot, that’s kind of like conversation. Plus, I have Animal Crossing, that game where you live on an island with a bunch of little animal people? It’s really cute, I love it. I talk to the animals on Animal Crossing. I don’t mind being alone.

I’m on a walk, and my fingers and nose are cold and pink. I have an umbrella, but I don’t actually need it. It’s not raining anymore, the wind is just moist and cold. It’s dangling from my wrist. I liked playing tug-of-war with my umbrella against the wind, but the wind won, and my umbrella turned inside out, so I stopped. I’m coming back from the right side of the T.

There’s lots of evidence of humans. There’s so much litter, pieces of trash that somebody was holding and let go of and now it’s on the ground. I thought I smelled weed before, which is gross, but that means that somebody somewhere was smoking it, somewhere nearby. There’s graffiti on the street signs.

There’s lots of cars on the road, too. I don’t know where they’re going. Nobody’s really supposed to be going anywhere right now, I think. We’re supposed to be staying home, that’s what I was told. Maybe they’re going to get groceries. You’re allowed to go get groceries. All of them are getting groceries.

Going to school online is a weird and kind of stressful experience, by the way, did I mention that? I’ve never done anything like homeschooling, I’ve always gone to public school my whole life, ever since I went to the old elementary school that I have to pass through on my walks. I’m used to structure. There’s this bell that drones at the end of every class, and when you hear the bell you get up and shuffle to your next class, forty-two minutes every class period. I’m used to that. Now they’re so far away. The classes, I mean, like, the concept of them. It’s just kind of a vague idea that there’s work I should be doing, now. I’ve been doing okay. I set alarms every forty-two minutes and pretend I’m going to class.

I still haven’t seen a single human. I’ve been looking into the windshields of the cars as I walk and I still haven’t seen a single one. I don’t know who these cars are trying to fool, you can’t drive a car if there’s nobody in the driver’s seat. That’s impossible. But I haven’t seen a single human. Super-smart cars, maybe. I think I’ve heard about those on the news, right? Sometime before everything happened. They’re sending their cars to get groceries.

I walk past the cemetery if I want to walk farther than usual. Usually my walk stops me right by the cemetery. I like ghosts and spooky things so I like living so close to a cemetery. It’s a nice cemetery, too. I don’t go in it very much, the only dead person I know wasn’t buried in the cemetery and I don’t want to intrude on anybody who’s grieving their loved one. Walks aren’t that important and I have a different route. I don’t think I would find anybody in the cemetery, but I’m going to go home anyway. I’ve been walking for a long time.

I think a lot on my walks. My mind wanders. I do it on purpose, actually, I put on my music and let my mind wander while I walk. I like to draw and write stories, and letting my mind wander while I walk is good for inspiration. I’ve been thinking about humans and cars and crows. The crows fly away when I walk near them. I wonder if the humans are like crows and that’s why I can’t see them. Maybe I did something wrong and everybody’s avoiding me. Maybe everyone’s too busy getting groceries to be in their cars. It must be a lot of groceries.

My dad has been away a lot this week. I want to tell him about the bugs I caught in Animal Crossing. I don’t know if I’ve seen him in a while. I thought I said goodbye to him yesterday. Yesterday it was snowing, when I said goodbye. It wasn’t snowing yesterday. I wish he’d get back from whatever he’s doing. I hope he brings me back something from the grocery store.

My brother hasn’t been feeling well. He wants me to leave him alone, I think. I think he said that, and that’s why he’s not in his room. He doesn’t want me to bother him, I think. He hasn’t been feeling well for a long time. He’s such a complainer. There’s mold in the food he left in his room.

Online school is so frustrating. I’m really not good at math, and I tried to message my teacher about an exponents question, but he hasn’t been replying to me. I skipped the math problems, I think, and I can’t find the right website we’re supposed to be doing them on. I can’t find the app on my phone I used to text my teacher. I’m so forgetful. I forgot to text him, I think.

This wouldn’t be happening if everything hadn’t happened. If we were in school, I’d be able to raise my hand and ask the teacher in person about my math question. And there would be other students, too. But we have to stay home. Everyone has to stay home.

I don’t know why we have to stay home. I thought somebody told me. I can’t remember. I know everybody has to stay home. The government said so or something. That’s why I can’t find anybody. Everybody’s at home.

My dad isn’t answering his phone. I want to know when he’ll be home. He’s not supposed to be out. I forgot my dad’s number, I think. I’m going to walk to the grocery store. It’s getting dark out now, but I think I need to go. I’m going to see what all the fuss is about. Everyone’s at the grocery store, that’s why I can’t find them.

There’s not much to see in the suburbs of Long Island. The shapes the buildings make are kind of pretty, though. They’re all warped and blackened, like a giant hand smushed them like play-doh. There’s lots of litter. There’s evidence of humans everywhere. The sun is setting behind the ruined buildings and it looks red and burning. It reminds me of something awful. Maybe a movie I watched, I think, about some awful explosion. The sun is too red and it’s scaring me. I’m going to keep walking to the grocery store.

This parking lot is empty and dirty. There’s lots of litter: plastic water bottle casings, old lighters, trampled wet paper bags, turned over shopping cars, shells of cars, the grocery store sign smashed on the ground. I step on the broken glass because it makes a nice sound. It smells like food, I think. The smell of the food is making my throat hurt, I think. There’s smoke rising from the building. They’re cooking, I think. The sun is so red behind the smoke. It looks like fire.

It looks like fire. There’s so much fire. It’s reminding me of something really bad. I’m really scared, something in my brain is really scared. Something happened and I can’t remember. I don’t want to be at the grocery store anymore. I’m walking home now but my legs aren’t feeling very normal. I wish the sun wouldn’t look so red. Everything is red and warm and smoky. It’s only just April and my nose and fingers are supposed to be pink from the cold.

I’m getting lost, I think. Once I find my way home I can get my dad to hug me so I feel better. I don’t know why I’m crying. Something is making me sad and scared but I can’t remember what it is. Reminds me of a movie, I think. A big scary explosion in a movie. The air smells like smoke. I think I might be upset because of cabin fever. That’s it, I think.

I think I need to go on more walks.

[kayteewritessteve]

Secrets and Sins - 2/13

Description: You flee from an abusive situation and find yourself on the other side of the country, creating new friends and possibly finding new love. But will you be able to escape your past? To truly move on with your life? Or will everything come crashing down around you in the blink of an eye?

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3,590 ish.

Pairing: Mobster!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Lots of curse words. Brief mentions of abusive behaviour, and moments of abuse—nothing to in depth but could be upsetting to some. Plus possible other triggering thoughts and feelings described.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors.

You woke up and instantly sat up straight, heart racing, covered in sweat. Your eyes searching around the room frantically, before finally realizing you were in your apartment. Alone. On the other side of the country. He wasn’t here.

The nightmares refused to leave you be, refused to allow you to forget. Every night they plagued your mind, taunted you. Reminded you of what was behind you, following you like a ball and chain. You could never really, truly, escape him. At least not fully. Not in your mind.

You grabbed your new phone off the floor beside you to check the time ‘9:13 am’. You sighed and flopped back down onto the bed, trying to allow your heart to slow down and return to a normal rhythm. You forced yourself to focus on the noises outside. Listening to the sounds of the city helped calm you. Reminded you where you were. The sounds of New York were so different from any other city you had lived in. Yet, also the same.

The sounds of cars driving by, the occasional honk of a horn, or holler for a cab. The murmurs of voices and laughs among friends. It made you feel less alone. Less isolated. Helping to remember you were on the other side of the country, behind his enemies’ lines.

There were no messages on your phone, but that was to be expected, no one you knew actually had your new number. You had ditched your old phone before even leaving Washington, knowing he could track it. And upon entering New York you had stopped and purchased a new phone outright under a fake name, refusing a plan and opting to just purchase minutes instead. Harder to track. Easier to ditch.

Though, you wished you had woken up to a few messages, at least ones pertaining to your car—or the sale of it, to be exact. But nothing, you may just have to junk the car soon. You couldn’t risk holding onto it much longer. He’d find it.

Finally, once you were all calmed down, you pulled yourself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, needing a hot shower to help clear your mind. Clear your thoughts.

You spent the day just hanging around your apartment until it was time to head to work. Dressing in black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt and black chucks. You pulled on your leather bomber jacket and headed out the door, checking the peep hole before leaving and locking the door behind you. You stepped onto the street and pulled the hood over your head before making your way down the sidewalk. Once again listening to the sounds of the city around you.

You arrived at The Asgardian and checked the time on your phone ‘3:40’. A little early but it’s better to be early instead of late. You pushed open the big mahogany door and entered the establishment. Something you were thankful you’d get to do many more times in the future. Stability was what you needed. Structure and repetition would help you settle.

The shift went smoothly, Wanda taking you under her wing and showing you the ropes. Your experience working in the pub back in Seattle all came flooding back, which was extremely helpful. You learned that the redhead's name was Natasha, but she preferred Nat, and that her bark was worse than her bite, though, even with that said, her bite was still pretty bad. You stayed out of her way and on her good side the whole shift, not wanting to make any more enemies. Especially not new ones. You had enough enemies as it was.

You also learned that Thor was the manager, and co-owner, and that he was in fact named after the God of Thunder. Something about his parents having an intense love for Norse mythology and legend. He definitely suited the name Thor though, he was not only massive, loyal and kind, but also fiercely protective and determined. Plus he seemed to really appreciate his staff, and that was more than you could have ever asked for, in all honesty. His brother, Loki, who was also named after a Norse God; the God of Mischief. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, but Thor assured you that you’d get that opportunity soon, as Loki was the other co-owner of the pub. You gathered that he probably wasn’t around much, minus at the end of the months to go over the books with Thor and check that everything was in order. Or as Thor put it, to check that his older brother hadn’t ‘given the place away’ or ‘screwed anything up’. Turns out the brothers also owned another pub on the other side of town and that’s where Loki spent most of his days.

Wanda and you became fast friends. Exchanging numbers part way through the shift so you could chat after work. She vowed to be your tour guide and help get you fully settled in. She also informed you of the other two woman who worked there, Manti and Gamora, who you would meet eventually. Whenever your shifts lined up.

Over the next two weeks you settled in well. Wanda and you became inseparable. You ended up meeting Gamora first, who was smart but reserved, and you could tell she wasn’t someone you’d want to piss off. And then Manti who was a little ditzy but super friendly and easy going. You continued to give Natasha a wide berth, only bothering her when it was urgent. Usually receiving a raised brow or a wicked smirk in response.

You met the regulars, they all seemed nice and relatively harmless. A few got a little to handsy for your liking but a quick smack on the hand and a stern glare usually set them straight. All and all you enjoyed working there. Enjoyed your coworkers and boss, and were just happy you had found this job so quickly.

Nearing the end of your current shift, you were just cleaning up a recently vacated table when Wanda came bouncing over, a wide grin on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes.

“Hey you!” She said excitedly.

You laughed at her excitement level, “Hey Wan’s, what’s up?”

“So I was talking to Pietro, turns out he just got a job as a bouncer over at this new club called Stark. His first shift is tonight and he said that he could get us in!!” She bounced with excitement before abruptly freezing in place, “That is, if we wanted,” she shrugged nonchalantly, but you could damn near feel the excitement still pouring off her.

“Oh, I’ve heard of that place, some of the customers mentioned it, it just opened up, yeah?”

She nodded quickly, “Mhmm….So you in?!?”

She was like a child on a sugar high at all times. Much like Thor. They were hilarious when together, both feeding off each other and making their personalities even more ridiculous and loud. Many times you had to walk away because your ribs hurt from laughing.

“Ah, I don’t really have anything to wear to a fancy club—“

She cut you off before you could even finish, “I’ll lend you an outfit, we can get ready and pre-drink at my place, all the girls are coming with!!”

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” You smirked with a raised brow.

Wanda shook her head adamantly and replied with, “Nope,” popping the P for effect.

“Okay, then I guess I have no choice,” you laughed.

Later that evening you found yourself at Wanda’s. Nat, Gamora and Manti were there as well. Wanda had a few dresses picked out for you to try, settling on a dark green off the shoulder dress. It had a high low bottom and accented your skin tone perfectly.

Wanda’s jaw dropped when you came out of the room wearing it and her reaction made you feel fantastic. The other girls chimed in their approvals as well. Then you all took a few shots and headed for the club, opting to walk as it was only a few blocks from Wanda’s place.

You finally met Wanda’s brother Pietro, after hearing so much about him, he seemed nice, very reserved and quiet. But not in a creepy way, just a stark contrast to Wanda. He got you all in ahead of the line, which brought back a few dark memories. You quickly shook your head to clear those thoughts, you weren’t going to allow anything to ruin this night for you. You entered the massive club and froze, there were so many people and the music was pounding. You could feel it buzzing through your bones.

Wanda grabbed your hand and pulled you over to the first bar she could find, turns out the club had 7 bars in total, 6 dance floors and was spaced out over two levels. To say it was a huge club was an understatement. It was by far the biggest you had ever stepped foot into.

You all took shots at the bar before deciding it was time to dance. You found a booth, Nat opting to stay at the table while you all danced. Something about her not being the dancing type anymore, and that she’d rather just watch from the sidelines. Wanda just giggled and shrugged—you guessed she knew Nat wouldn’t have wanted to join, even before she asked her—then dragged you and the other two out onto the dance floor.

The four of you danced for a while before you realized you needed another drink. Excusing yourself you wandered over to one of the bars, it was surrounded by people and you knew it was going to be a long wait. You pushed up to the front as much as you could, but the bartender barely noticed you. Figures.

You decided to look around a bit, looking up at the second floor balconies, clearly the VIP section. A few short weeks ago, that’s the section you’d have found yourself in. Miserable and alone, as no one was ever allowed to speak to you, especially men. And dancing was out of the question, entirely.

You started to feel like someone was watching you, granted you were in the middle of a massive club, but it still felt like someones eyes were locked onto you specifically. You searched around, trying to see if anyone stood out to you, more so than others. Your eyes landed on a figure on the second level, leaning on the railing, staring directly at you. You could tell. You couldn’t really make out his features, but he looked massive, tall, built, well dressed. Possibly blonde hair, maybe? Whoever he was he was you could feel his eyes on you. Yours locked with his and you could almost make out a smirk on his lips.

Shit. You quickly turned around, feeling slightly embarrassed, but maybe more so you were just used to ignoring any attention from men, pretending they didn’t exist as your life actually depended on it, on you not acknowledging them. He didn’t appreciate you talking to other men. Let alone them flirting with you. That would have been a death sentence for you both.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, you finally got the bartender's attention, ordering a couple shots and two drinks to take with you. Knowing that waiting for more drinks would fucking suck. Better to stock up while your here. You took the shots right then and there, before turning around, double fisting, and heading back towards the booth Nat was guarding. Probably with her life. You pitied any fool who crossed her, she would probably knock them out then flip a damn table on them or something. You cringed at the thought. Poor sucker.

But before you could reach the table someone bumped you, and fucking hard at that, and sent you barrelling straight towards the floor. You let go of your drinks in an attempt to brace yourself for impact. However, before you could hit the floor two large muscular arms caught you, and stood you back up. You turned around to thank whoever saved you only to come face to face with the most piercing blue eyes you had ever seen.

You stood there, completely lost in the azure eyes staring down at you. You abruptly shook your head, “Ah…Thank you,” you breathed out in a whisper. Clearly forgetting just how loud the music was, like he would even have been able to hear you. Idiot.

You watched as a smirk formed on his lips, one you knew could only mean trouble. Then he leaned down and whispered, “You’re very welcome,” in your ear. The heat of his breath on your neck sent a chill down your spine as goose bumps broke out on your skin. Then he stood back up, staring at you once again.

You watched as his eyes moved down your face to look at your lips before flicking back up to meet yours again. The small action made your heart take off at a gallop, and knocked the wind right out of you, instantly. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out so you promptly snapped it shut again and instead just nodded. Unsure if your voice would even work you decided to just flee the situation entirely, you quickly moved around him to head back to the bar. But as you did he turned on his heel with your movement and kept his eyes locked on yours. You took a few shaky steps back then awkwardly waved, seeing him laugh at that, before turning around and hastily retreating away. Cursing yourself under your breath for how unbelievably embarrassing that was, from start to finish. And how awkward you truly were. Fuck.

You reached the bar, and once again stood around waiting for the bartender to notice you. Wow, deja vu. This night was not turning out like you hoped, you were spending more time waiting on a drink then actually enjoying said drinks.

To your astonishment the bartender looked in your direction, his eyes widened and he damn near ran over to you. But once he reached you, you realized he wasn’t actually looking at you, but instead at someone behind you. You slowly turned around to see the same blue eyes standing behind you now. Still with that damn smirk on his face.

You gulped. This was just all so damn awkward. You really should just go home. Be done with this whole night. With these blue eyes that made you weak in the knees. He looked down at you before stepping up beside you, and placing a hand on your lower back. You looked passed him and noticed the people next to him stepping back to give him a wide berth. Which—was odd, no one had done that when you were last standing at this bar. The opposite of that actually, they all piled into you, like a damn mosh pit. Feeling him leaning forward you refocused on him, watching as he whispered something to the bartender who nodded his response then quickly turned away to start making a couple drinks.

Even though you were watching this all unfold, all you could focus on was his warm hand on your back. It sent heat all through your body and your heart was, again, pounding in your chest. You closed your eyes for a second, praying he couldn’t feel the insane beating of it through his direct contact with you. Exhaling a deep breath you slowly opened your eyes just as the bartender placed three drinks in front of you both. One was a golden amber colour, clearly some sort of scotch or bourbon. The other two were the exact same as the two drinks you had just dropped on the floor a few moments ago. What the hell? How did he— You turned to face him and found he was already looking down at you. A blush took over your face but you ignored it and finally forced out a few words. “So, what do I owe you?” You asked.

“Owe me?” He repeated, confused. Though it didn’t seem like confusion over what you asked, but more that he wasn’t really expecting you to ask that at all.

“Yes,” you nodded, “for the drinks.” You said as you pointed to them for effect.

He appeared to think it over for a moment before he responded smoothly, “a date.”

You laughed and shook your head, thinking it was a joke. Quickly realizing it wasn’t, and that he wasn’t kidding, you stopped laughing instantly to gaped at him with wide eyes. “Oh, you’re serious!?”

He leaned in again, “I don’t normally joke about those sorts of things,” his voice was firm, deep but also had a hint of amusement to it.

“Ah, well, I um, I.” You were flustered, to say the least and you just wanted to run in the opposite direction. How this man could still be standing here, talking to you, was unfathomable. You had to be the most awkward person he had even met and the fact he just asked you on a date was fucking insane. His hand that was still resting on your back was not fucking helping matters either. You stepped out of his touch in the hopes it would help you regain some control. “Ah, what I mean is, thank you for the offer but I’ll have to respectfully decline. I can pay you for the drinks though …if you’d like.”

He raised a hand and shook his head, clearly saying he didn’t want your money.

“Well, in that case, thank you for these,” you lifted up the two drinks as if he would have no idea what you were referring to. “And enjoy your night!” You turned to leave but before you could a gentle, yet firm hand gripped your forearm and urged you to turn back around.

Once you had he leaned in again, and you could swear he knew it was flustering you, and he was getting some sort of sick twisted kick out of that, “One question,” you nodded slowly for him to continue. His hand still on your forearm and his face still right beside yours, the scent of his delicious cologne was all you could smell in this moment, “Why have I never seen you before?”

You pulled back to look up at him and before you could stop yourself you responded, ”Oh, so you know every person in this city, huh?” Raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

He smirked and nodded, thoughtfully, “You could say that.”

His response made you a little more ballsy. Happy that you had managed to overcome your previous nerves, even just a little. “Well, clearly not,” you refuted. “Or you’d know who I was.”

“What’s your name, doll?” He abruptly asked, getting right to the point, eyes still locked on you. The pet name making your heart flutter and all of a sudden it felt like you had just swallowed a handful of pop rocks. But something in his eyes both made you both weak and scared as hell. You were not looking to jump into another relationship anytime soon, not only would it be extremely dangerous for you, but also for the man in said ‘relationship’ and you refused to risk another person's life. Not this soon after running. Maybe in a few years when this whole mess dies down and you could be a little more sure of your safety, and someone else’s. No, dating was not an option right now and if you stood here any longer you weren’t sure you’d be able to actually walk away from him. So you opted to not give him your name and instead fucking run in the complete opposite direct from those piercing blue eyes. Would you regret that choice? Oh, most definitely. Would it be the safest choice to make at this time? Fuck yes.

“Find me again one day and I’ll tell you,” you said as you turned, not giving him a chance to respond, and made your way through the crowd of people back to your table. You threw yourself into the seat, and chugged one of the drinks in your hand, receiving a raised brow from Nat. “Don’t ask,” was all you said before you groaned loudly and slumped down into the seat. Why did he have to be so damn attractive. Fuck.

The other girls appeared at the table a few moments later, Wanda sliding into the seat beside you, “Where did you run off to?! I almost thought you’d left?”

“Oh, you know, just making an ass of myself. No big deal,” you shrugged and over exaggeratedly pouted. She just giggled at you as she flung an arm over your shoulders and gave you a quick reassuring squeeze.

The rest of the night was fun, but you refused to leave the booth, for fear you’d run into blue eyes again. And though you still felt eyes on you the whole night, you just ignored it. Luck was on your side as you managed to make it all the way home without another run in. You stripped off your clothes and star-fished into your makeshift bed. Exhausted from not only the long day but also from the awkward and intense run in with—whoever the hell he was.

This would be the first night in a very, very long time that the nightmares left you alone. Instead being replaced by a piercing set of blue eyes and a smirk that you just knew would only mean trouble.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang

[shewritesometimes]

Catching Up (Story)

   Let me preface this story with a little background story: I was a young 16 years old when I first met Khalil. I remember being in the hall during passing period with my friend Zhane when he walked past us, going through the double doors that led to the staircase right outside of our classroom. He wasn’t a familiar face, and in knowing that, I knew quickly that I wanted to get familiar. Zhane told me that he was in her class, which meant he was a year older than me. Apparently, he had been around because when I asked around, everybody seemed to know who he was except for me. During our second semester of the school year, we got put into a social studies class together, where he, Zhane, and I sat near each other. I don’t remember if we got to choose our seats, but I ended up just a few rows away from Khalil. It was perfect because I got to stare at him. Like they do in the movies, I used to just sit in class and daydream; scribbling his name on the side of my notes, making sure the ‘i’ in his name was dotted with a heart. He was so fine, especially when he talked. Khalil was so handsome to me and not just because he was cute but because he was incredibly intelligent. He could command respect in whatever room he walked in with his demeanor, and if he didn’t, people knew that he was someone to be listened to the moment he opened his mouth and began to speak. I learned quickly that he wasn’t the type to speak up on things he didn’t know too much about, but always made sure to share his thoughts when he was very well versed in something.

Khalil and I clicked instantly and were suddenly on a first name basis. We flirted. A lot. He spoke my language, meaning that when we flirted, it was on accident. I’d say something and he’d make an innuendo or vice versa; our chemistry was insane. If there was a wet meter for every time that I talked to Khalil, it would’ve shown “drenched” at all times. Then, when his senior year was over, so were we. We spoke maybe four times total after he graduated. When we stopped communicating, we just stopped. As life does, both of ours went on without each other. I graduated, went to college, and started my career. I thought about Khalil from time to time but figured that after all of the contactless years, he’d forgotten about me. Those last five months of high school when we became friends seemed to pass us by and we were never able to make good on the flirting that we did; it made us appear to be all bark and no bite. I didn’t think of Khalil much but when I did, I thought that maybe he was married by now. He probably had a kid or two. As smooth talking and intelligent as he was, I just knew that his life post high school was lavish and that those days were long gone from his memory. I thought wrong.

--

Summer had rolled around again meaning that I was on summer break because the kids were out to enjoy their summer. As always, I offered my services to my students and their families for emotional support through the summer and always kept my work phone on me as a result. Today, I had received two calls from rising second graders who just wanted to say hello while they were enjoying being away from school. I had just sat down with my laptop, opening Constant Contact to get ready to draft my monthly newsletter when my laptop and phone notified me that I had a text message. It was from an unknown number, asking if my number belonged to me. I was perplexed. My phone number had not changed since the summer before my Junior year in high school. Most people that had it, were contacts in my phone; aside from the weird political and scam text messages that I would get. I was hesitant to respond but figured that it had to be someone that I was familiar with.

Me: Who is this?

Unsaved number: Khalil Barker.

I dropped my phone in complete awe. Khalil Barker was texting me. I wondered how he had gotten my phone number. I knew for damn sure that he didn’t still have it from high school because it had been more than half a decade since the last time that we had talked to each other. None of my friends had told me that they had run into him, so I was really at a loss for words. I picked my phone up again and saw that the dots in the thread were animated on Khalil’s end, signifying that he was typing something to me. I exited the thread to collect myself, but I didn’t have long before my phone told me that he had sent another new message.

Khalil: If I have the wrong number, my apologies. No need to respond.

I waited another three minutes. I called my best friend on facetime to tell her what was going on.

             “Hello?”

             “Jaylin girl.”

             “What’s wrong?”

             “You’ll never believe who just texted me.”

             “Who?”

             “Khalil.”

             “Whaaaat?”

             “Yes bitch.”

             “What did he say.” I looked at my phone again, wondering if Khalil still had the same number from high school. There was no way for me to know; all of the phones that I had had back then were broken and I never bothered to get them fixed.

             “He just sent a text that said, ‘hi is this Taylor Moss?’” I kept staring at the thread, wondering what I was going to say.

             “Did you respond? What are you going to say?” Jaylin was just as intrigued as me. If anybody around me really knew how I felt about Khalil, it was her. She listened to me go on and on about all the fantasies that I had had about him in high school.

             “No, I haven’t responded yet. I don’t even know how he got my number.”

             “Ask him that then. It could be a conversation piece.”

             “You don’t think that would be too arrogant of a response? We haven’t talked since he graduated. Well, a little bit after he graduated.” I started recounting the years. Like I said, it had been more than half a decade; seven whole years to be specific since the last time we had spoken to each other. I don’t remember exactly when we had held our last conversation, but it was shortly before I started my senior year in high school.

             “Okay bitch you right. Just tell him it’s you and see where it goes from there.”

             “Thank you because I was definitely overthinking. What you doing?”

             “About to get in the shower. Mal coming over to see me.”

             “Bitch,” I smiled. Mal was Jaylin’s boyfriend and I already knew I wouldn’t hear from her for a couple of days. “Enjoy. I’ll let you know how this goes.”

             “I love you!”

             “I love you too. Thank you!”

             “You’re welcome girl. Good luck, I’ll talk to you later.”

             “Okay.” We exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone. I was in fact Taylor Moss and the simplest way to find out how Khalil was able to get in contact me was to confirm that for him. I moved my laptop off of my lap and sat with my phone too close to my face. I lowered it to my lap, using both hands to respond to Khalil.

Me: This is Taylor.

The word delivered changed to read at 2:33pm so quick that I almost threw my phone across the room.

Khalil: Hey, I know that this is weird since we haven’t talked in a few years, but I ran into Zhane and she gave me your number. That answered my question. I hope that’s okay. I was wondering if you’d like to go out to maybe go out to dinner. We could catch up.

A few years? Did this nigga not realize how long it had actually been since the last time that we had talked? Dinner? Everything was happening so fast. I hadn’t been on a date in months. My ex was still on my line begging me to talk to him and I entertained it but never to the point where we got to see each other. Did Zhane tell him that I was single? How did I even come up? I had so many questions that I wanted to ask but none of them mattered much.

Me: I’m not even going to lie to you; you texting me caught me all the way off guard. You’re the last person I thought I’d ever hear from. I’m down to go to dinner. When would you like to go?

As soon as I pressed send, I put my phone down on the black couch in my living room then walked into my kitchen to grab something to drink. I grabbed a cup from my cabinet, ran the ice machine on the outside and settled for water because I was still at a loss. Fine ass Khalil Barker was hitting me up after all these years to go out to dinner. I didn’t even feel comfortable thinking of him as fine because I had convinced myself long ago that he was a married father already. I leaned on my granite island, hunched over thinking about what the hell was going on in my world for this to happen. The last good deed I had done was a month old and that was just me giving money to someone that was down on their luck. I couldn’t imagine that this was the universe paying me back. I walked back over to my phone to see that Khalil had double texted; the messages were eight minutes old.

Khalil Barker: I’ve debated on texting you for a couple of days now because I didn’t know if you would respond.

Dinner tonight if you’re free? I can pick you up.

Tonight? He was just as eager as I was.

Me: Tonight is perfect! I deleted that because ‘perfect’ made me sound as excited as I was, and I was not trying to let this man know that. I typed a million responses before finally sending “that works for me.” I texted Zhane to catch her up on what was going on. She had told me that she ran into Khalil at a barbecue and that when he asked her for my number, she was shocked but wanted us to possibly rekindle our old flame, so she gave it to him. I thanked her for looking out for me and let her know that we were set to go to dinner that night. She wished me good luck and good dick; to which I ignored because I knew he was a married man; and finalized dinner plans with the man that I had the biggest crush on all of those years ago in high school.

We decided on dinner at seven in the evening at the Applebee’s just a few blocks away from my house. I told Khalil that I would drive myself because it just seemed easier than having him pass the restaurant to come and pick me up, just to drive back to it. He agreed and let me know when he arrived there. I was in the parking lot; fifteen minutes early because I prided myself on my punctuality to everything that I ever attended. Because we were only going to Applebee’s, I didn’t put on the grandest outfit. I threw on a maroon crop top and black dolphin shorts, paired with gold sandals that matched my bracelets, my belly button ring, and the crossbody bag that I had. I got out of the car to meet him at the entrance, nervous because of the time that had passed. When I approached the door, he was there. He was wearing a white shirt with a floral bar across the front, black pants, and black and white ones to match. He looked so good. Time had done him well. He was looking at his phone as I made my way over. The closer I got to him, the finer her appeared and I couldn’t even hold it back.

             “Wow.” It slipped. I was a little embarrassed but it was truthful so I couldn’t be too upset. Khalil locked his phone and put it in his pocket. He turned to me and smiled.

             “Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” His voice quickly reminded me of high school when I would daydream about him whispering in my ear telling me how he wanted me. That made my pussy tingle with excitement.

             “It’s good.”

             “I’m sure.” I knew he was saying that to be slick. We hugged and he opened the door for me. We were seated in a booth that looked out onto the grassy area of the mall that Applebee’s was located in. We ordered our drinks. Small talk ensued after the waitress gave us time to order. 

“What do you want to eat?” I asked. He looked up from his menu at me and smirked. 

“I’m sure you don’t want me to answer that question honestly.”

“You could answer honestly, then follow that up with a food item.” We smiled at each other then went back to silently exploring our menus. I got a burger and he did too. I wanted to know if he was just flirting with me because, or if he was trying to make something happen between us.

             “So, you ran into Zhane and just casually asked her for my phone number?” I asked.

             “That’s not exactly how it went but if you want to paraphrase it that way then it’s not entirely wrong.” The light above the table that we were sitting at made Khalil glow. I couldn’t stop looking at his arms, which were more muscular than I remembered them being in high school. The longer he talked to me about being in the service, the more I wanted to just fuck him, right there in the restaurant. By the time we finished dinner, I had learned that he was not married, that he had recently moved back home, and that he hadn’t had the best of luck in the dating world since he had returned back to North Carolina. I told him that I was a counselor for elementary school kids, that I wanted to open a school, and that I had wondered why he never reached out before. In the day and age of social media, following someone seemed more common than to ask someone for their phone number. Khalil explained to me that social media wasn’t really his thing and that he wanted to be sure that he had the right person, even though he had found my Facebook page after running into Zhane.

             “I can’t believe I got to see you tonight. It always feels good to catch up with people.” We were now leaving the restaurant.

             “True. Even better when the catching up is with someone that you want to catch up with.” We laughed as he walked me to my car. “This you?” he asked. He was referring to my car which was a dark gray two-year-old Toyota Camry.

             “Yeah.”

             “So, you’re kinda bougie.”

             “Why do you say that?” I unlocked my doors.

             “This car is nice as hell.”

             “It’s a Toyota.” There was a moment of silence where we made eye contact.

            “Damn Taylor.”

            “What?”

             “Nothing. I’m just giving you a hard time. Look,” he paused. I got nervous. “We should do this again.”

             “Absolutely. Just let me know when and we can see if we can make it happen.” He ran his hand across his head and sighed. It sounded like disappointment, but I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t ask.

             “Sounds good. Please let me know when you get home safe. It was nice seeing you tonight.” I relayed the same message to Khalil as we hugged. I thanked him for dinner and then got in my car. I watched him walk over to his car, get in and start up before I drove home. As I approached home alone, I couldn’t help but to think that maybe Khalil and I should’ve ended the night together. Pulling into my garage, I convinced myself that it was way too soon for that. I didn’t want to seem desperate, but I didn’t know how else to think about how the night should’ve ended. Even after showering and getting into bed, I thought maybe I should’ve kissed him. I started thinking about what it would be like to fuck Khalil; the sounds he made, the facial expressions, if he could handle me. I made things much worse on myself when I started thinking about the ways he would take control while fucking me. I fought every urge to text him and tell him to come to my house. I shook that thought and quickly made the executive decision to handle the urge myself. After I came, I wondered for a quick second if it was the lack of sex I was having that made me want Khalil so bad, or if I was genuinely still attracted to him. I went to sleep wishing that I had gotten my back blown out instead of making myself cum to the thought of it. 

Chapter 2

             It had been three days since Khalil and I had gone out for dinner. The last text message exchange that we had was us letting each other know that we were home safe and saying goodnight. I had debated with myself over and over about texting him and asking him to come over because I didn’t know if he was really feeling me like that. It was mid-day on a Friday, and I decided to throw all caution to the wind and find out where I stood with him.

Me: Hey, I have a question, and I apologize in advance if it comes off as lewd and forward. I’ve just been wanting to ask it since the night that we had dinner and wondering about it is killing me.”

Khalil: Shoot.

Me: Well, all bullshit aside I just want to know, at this present time, would you fuck me? I sent the message and almost blocked him immediately after. I hurried out of the thread and wasted time anticipating his response by watering all of my plants. When I came back, Khalil’s message had been received twelve minutes ago. I hesitated to open it because I was embarrassed that I even went ahead and asked the question in the first place.

Khalil Barker: Lol that’s not lewd at all. First of all, the answer to that question is absofuckinglutely. Second, I’m glad your curiosity got the best of you because I’ve been thinking about fucking you since I saw you on Tuesday. We should’ve gone home together if I’m being completely honest with you, I wasn’t trying to be that guy. Sorry if that’s lewd. I bit my lip reading his response. I was flattered because I didn’t think his answer would be yes. I quickly envisioned him having my legs wrapped around his face as he explored me with his mouth, and then I remembered that I needed to respond.

Me: I honestly didn’t think your answer would be yes. I don’t think I would’ve told you no if you asked me to come home with you the other night.

Khalil: Well if that’s the case, come over.

Me: When?

Khalil: Right now. I’ll see you when you get here. He followed that message with a text that contained his address. He lived twenty-three minutes from me. I was floored. He didn’t give me much of a choice to show up or not, so I went to get dressed about twenty minutes after he sent me his address. It was 3:19 on a Friday afternoon and I was getting dressed for a dick appointment. I put my hair in a curly bun because it was going to get messed up anyways. My outfit of choice was one that gave Khalil easy access to everything; a baby blue bandeau top that somehow fit my size 34DDD’s inside perfectly and a black maxi skirt with high slits on both sides. I debated on putting on underwear because they’d be coming right off, but I opted in for a pair of gray and blue ones that sort of matched my shirt. I put studs in my ears because I didn’t want to have to take off anything except for my clothes and shoes when I arrived. I laced up a pair of blue sandals around my ankles, put on lip gloss and packed a few things in an overnight bag that I threw in the trunk just in case Khalil wanted me to stay.

Chapter 3

I pulled up to Khalil’s house which was a blueish gray two story home. The windows had dark gray trimmings and the doors were a very rich, dark brown. I pulled into the driveway, in awe at how beautiful his home was. He opened the garage before I could call to let him know that I had arrived. The door rose, revealing him standing at the top of a two-step staircase just above the floor of his garage. He had on a black V-neck shirt, black and blue basketball shorts, and socks. I suddenly felt overdressed. I turned the car off and got out.

             “Well shit.” I stopped, pretending I didn’t know why Khalil was having the reaction he was having.

             “What?”

             “Nothing.” I continued walking through his garage, the light from the sun dimming as it closed behind me. I stepped close to Khalil, smelling whatever cologne he had on and wanting to jump on him as he allowed me into his home. He closed the door to the house, and I took a look around. He had a beautiful house; carpeted floors, a gray sectional in the living room, what looked to be a seventy-five-inch flat screen TV that was mounted above a fireplace, a white kitchen and granite counters.

             “You have a beautiful home.” I admired what I was seeing. “Did a woman live here with you before?”

             “Most people say ‘hi’ when they come in somebody else’s house.” He was joking with me and it made me smile wide.

             “I’m sorry. Hi Khalil.”

             “Now you want to speak?” He laughed with me and we hugged. “You got somewhere to be after you leave here because I know you didn’t come over here dressed like that just to see me.” He held my hand up and I turned so he could see me from every angle. When I was facing him again, I stepped closer to him.

             “You told me to come over so I’m here. I follow directions very well.” I put my hand on his chest and looked up at him. He was so tall and handsome.

             “I’ll be damned. I mean I know you asked what you asked but I didn’t know… you want a tour?” The sexual tension could be cut with a knife. I took the tour of his house although his open concept floor plan showed me most of everything. I got to see his bedroom and his guest room, which were both upstairs. When we came back to the living room, he offered me something to drink and we went onto the shaded patio that the French doors in the kitchen opened up to. Outside, there was a black and gray patio set that we sat on.

             “It’s so hot, thank goodness for this breeze or I’m sure we’d both be dripping in sweat.” I said, shifting so that the breeze hit me just a bit more. 

“Some days, it’s too hot to even be out here. I’m usually in the house playing 2K.” I took a sip of the strawberry lemonade that he offered me.

“This tastes really good.”

“I’m sure the same can be said about you.”

“Khalil stop playing with me. I can’t imagine that you wanted to fuck me before now.”

“Pardon my language but for what crazy ass reason would you think that?”

             “I mean, we were young when we used to talk about it you know? I was inexperienced so it was all talk for me.”

             “And you knew I was fucking so my statement stands.”

             “I think you’re lying; you didn’t want to fuck me until we saw each other for dinner.”

             “Taylor, I used to fantasize about fucking you on the desks in class. And remember that conference we had to go to for our final presentations? Yeah, I wished that we had sat together on the charter bus. I wanted you to sit next to me so I could do some things to you and see if you could keep quiet. The list goes on.” My mouth was left agape. I quickly closed it to smile and inquire.

             “Things like what?”

             “To start, I probably would’ve fucked you in the bathroom of that bus if we were ever on that thing alone. If this hadn’t been on my mind, you wouldn’t be here right now.” I could tell by the tone in his voice that Khalil was serious. I thought back to the one class we had together and envisioned myself getting fucked on the desks, then flashed back to the charter bus ride to and from California for the Social Issues Today conference with Dr. Rosen. I sat with Zhane and now I wished that I would’ve sat with Khalil.

             “Okay so what I want to know is why I’m just now hearing about this. The most you ever did was lick my face.” I crossed my leg, exposing my whole thigh as I waited for Khalil’s answer.

             “Man, high school was rough. So much fucked up shit was happening for me all at the same time. I wanted you, trust me I did. But I didn’t pursue you because of everything else that was going on and because of the fact that I was leaving. I didn’t want to subject you to that.”

             “I kind of figured that, but you never reached out while you were away because?”

             “I wasn’t thinking about it.” He paused, as if thinking of how he was going to explain what he just said. But I was sick of talking and I wanted him.

             “That’s fair.” I got up, grabbed my cup, and walked to the door to go back in the house. “Come on, we can finish talking inside”. Khalil came inside after me, locking the door. I went and sat on his couch.

             “Look Taylor, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t think about you while I was gone. I did. Do you know how many times I thought about flying you out so you could come and visit? So that I could finally taste you?” Khalil sat down next to me on the couch. I was on the longer part of the sectional and he was on the cushion to my right. “I lived in this apartment that overlooked a waterfall by the pool and it would’ve been romantic as hell to fuck you on the balcony with that as our view.” I moved over to Khalil, making sure to place my hand close enough to his dick that I didn’t touch it, but he would want me to.

             “I hear all of these things that you want to do, but you have me here and we’ve been engaging in conversation since I arrived. Either you gon fuck me like you wanted to on that balcony and in class or you can stop telling me what it is that you want.” I got up and straddled him. Once I was sitting on him, I looked over my shoulder and turned the TV on, letting SportsCenter run in the background as I turned back around to look at him.

             “Are you sure?” he raised his hand to my neck, gently squeezing on it. I put my hand on top of his, bit my lip and smiled at him.

             “Put your money where your mouth is.”

             “My mouth could be elsewhere, I’m sure you’d like that better.” Khalil’s free hand caressed my thigh softly. He literally had me in his hands and at his mercy. I moaned slightly as I felt his hand come closer to my vagina. He let go of my neck and had begun to lick, kiss, and bite on it at the same time that he inserted two of his fingers inside of me. It was driving me crazy. He laid me down on the couch, giving me the two fingers that were inside of me to taste. I sucked on them as if I had his dick in my mouth; that’s what I really wanted. His hand made its way back to my neck, my skirt exposed both of my legs and he positioned himself between them. He leaned down so that he was right by my ear. He was close enough that I could feel the warmth but far enough where his lips weren’t touching. “You said you follow directions very well, right?” He whispered. I gushed. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have underwear on, I would’ve made a pool on that man’s couch right then.

“Mhm.” I moaned, unable to suppress how I was feeling. He was about to make me have an orgasm without even penetrating me. I had fantasized about him being in my ear since high school and now it was happening.

“Prove it.” We started kissed and tugging at each other. It wasn’t long before all of our clothes were off and thrown aimlessly about the living room. The sun was setting outside. Khalil kissed up my thighs, kissing the crevices near my vagina to tease me. I closed my eyes waiting for him to put his mouth where he said he wanted to earlier.

             “Sit up.” He said. I was caught off guard. We were already on the couch, so I didn’t know what he wanted me to sit up for, but I obliged. “I want you to look at me when you cum.” He was talking that good shit that I wanted to hear. He kissed up my thighs again, rubbing them as he closed in on my vagina. The first lash of his tongue across my sensitive clit made me moan so high pitched that it almost sounded like a mouse. I opened my eyes and looked down at him, he was smiling at me. He had his hand wrapped around my left thigh, squeezing it. I reached for his hand, and he held it while he made me cum in his mouth. I thought that he would want to have sex after I came, but he ate me out for what seemed to be another 35 minutes. He even moved so that I could ride his face comfortably. We made direct eye contact. He made sure I watched him wipe me off of his chin.

             “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.” My voice vibrated as I bounced up on Khalil’s dick. I always knew it would be big because he was tall and skinny, but I was shocked when he pulled it out. He freed one of his hands from my hips to put one of my breasts in his mouth. I threw my head back, tightening my grip on the back of the couch. “I’m about to cuh-uh-uhhhhmmm.” And just like that, I did. I hopped off of Khalil and dropped to my knees in front of him so that I could clean myself off of him. My hair came out of the bun I put it in when we first started fucking on the couch. I took all of him into my mouth, making sure to slowly bob so that the sensation of me riding could subside. Khalil gave me back to back orgasms and it was amazing how he got me to cum on command for him. We had come together twice now. His stamina pleased me.

             “Give me this nut.”

             “You gotta take it.” I continued to suck his dick, and the longer I went, the wetter I got. It got real messy; the best way to give head. I slurped and moaned, making sure he knew that I enjoyed his dick down my throat. I reached to fondle his balls and he flinched, letting me know that I was going to get exactly what I wanted. I placed one hand around his shaft, stroking it while I focused my mouth on his baby carriers. I popped both of them into my mouth, then one at a time, and then both again. I licked the area one more time before returning his dick back to my mouth. “Shit.” Khalil tried to say it so that I couldn’t hear it, but I did and that hyped me just a tad, so I got louder with my moans and slurps until I felt him squirming under me. I focused on the tip, tightening the grip my mouth had on his dick and I used my right hand to stroke him as I continued to perform head. His dick pulsed, signaling that he was about to cum. I encircled my left thumb with a fist to relax my gag reflexes and deep throated him. He shot right down my throat. I clicked my tongue.

             “Want to know a fun fact?”

             “What?”

             “Spitters are quitters.”

Chapter 4

I woke up in Khalil’s bed. The clock next to his bed read 2:17. It was early in the morning. He wasn’t asleep, so when I rolled over, he smiled at me.

             “You good?” he asked.

             “I’m fine. Why are you still awake?”

             “I’m always usually up at this time.”

             “Have you been to sleep at all?”

             “Yeah. I just woke up maybe twenty minutes ago.” I stretched, accidentally touching Khalil’s dick when I did. “Again?” he looked at me with amorous eyes. I moved the covers off of me, reached for his hand and put it on my vagina so that he could see that I was ready to go again if he was.

             “If you want it, I want it.”

             “Bet.” When we had come upstairs from our wild couch session, I was too tired to hop in the shower, so I took a hoe bath and Khalil gave me one of his t-shirts. He didn’t have a shirt on, but he had on a different pair of basketball shorts with nothing under them. We started to kiss and soon enough, he was inside of me again.

             “It’s yours.” I sang. I was gripping the hell out of Khalil’s arms, and he was keeping me in place on the bed. My head was hanging off of the side of the bed and he was so deep in me that I thought I could feel him in my chest.

             “Yeah. That’s what I like to hear.” He slowed down to pull my whole body back onto the bed.

             “Please don’t stop.”

             “Turn around.” He came out of me to let me toot my ass up so that it was facing him. I arched my back and knew that he was about to take everything that I had left in me. He entered, starting slowly and then picking up his pace again. He reached down, grabbing my neck, and pulling my back up to his front. “This pussy so fucking good.”

             “Yeah?”

             “Yeah.”

             “Fuck.” I felt myself getting closer to my third orgasm of this session.

             “I want you Taylor.”

             “Kha….” His name faded out of my mouth as I moaned when he let me go and I was able to arch my back. He smacked my ass and it echoed in the air. He positioned his hands on my hips and pounded faster and harder with each stroke. “Oh fuck.”

             “Whose is it?” I couldn’t even close my mouth to try to form an answer for him. He smacked my ass again, and the sting made me wetter than I already was. I reached back and held onto his arm. “Whose is it?” he asked again, knowing we were both close.

             “Khalil…. Shiiiiit.” I turned before he could cum and put his dick in my mouth, cumming while he came in my mouth.

             “Fuck.” He said, twitching at the same time that he enjoyed his orgasm. I kept sucking after he came because that was just good manners. Khalil leaned forward, smacked my ass, and enjoyed the head he was receiving after giving me such a powerful climax. Finally, I stopped, and he pulled me up to tongue kiss me after. I smiled as we parted lips. We took a shower together, washing each other down while inside and then returned to bed together.

             “Good morning Taylor.”

“Good morning.” I smiled at him.

“This isn’t quite what I imagined that you would look like on the first morning that I woke up to you, but for the first time, it’ll work.” Khalil moved my hair out of my face and kissed my forehead. He was already out of bed and moving around.

             “When you get out of bed, meet me downstairs, I’m making you breakfast.” I looked at him like the white man blinking GIF.

             “Making me breakfast? Was I that good last night?”

             “You was aight.” We smiled at each other.

             “I guess you were aight too then.”

             “Na uh, don’t front on me like I didn’t have you hanging off the bed.”

             “You just said I was aight and I didn’t say nothing. I know what she’s capable of.”

             “If you’re looking for me to tell you that you put that Erykah Badu on me and changed my life, I’m not gon do it. But I will tell you that no other woman has ever gotten breakfast out of me.” I watched him disappear out of his room and heard him go down the stairs. As I lay there staring out of the window, I realized how happy I felt; happiness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I got up, used the bathroom, and grabbed my emergency “spennannight” kit to brush my teeth. As I headed downstairs in another one of Khalil’s t-shirts, I hoped that he wanted me as much as I wanted him, because he and his dick were both something that I could and wanted to get used to.

To Be Continued