#both were different scenarios but they both involved the girl who was my best friend from grades 3-5

[clowngremlin]

i had dreams involving one of my childhood best friends two nights in a row......what does it mean......

[chalkrevelations]

Oh. My god.

So, last night, I reblogged a gifset of that conversation Pete has with Pol when they’re on stakeout, tailing Vegas, sitting around in the car, and Pete wants to know who Pol thinks would do a better job – Vegas’s bodyguard or Pete? And I added this bit of commentary:

My theory on the closest thing Pete has to a sexual fantasy at this point in the narrative and his life: Pete saves Vegas's life in some kind of shootout or assassination attempt that no one else could have protected Vegas from, thereby earning headpats from Thee Vegas Theerapanyakul, who Everyone Knows is a completely detached sociopath who usually has no more use for his bodyguards than as human bulletproof vests (which is somehow different from the main family for no reason I can discern but apparently exists?). Only now, Pete has proven himself and is both Noticed By and Special To this violent, emotionally inaccessible man (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him). I mean, for whatever variables of "special" Pete can even conceptualize at this point, anyway. And I wonder how many times he's imagined this. It's Pete's very own mafia-filtered version of the Bad Boy fantasy in which you're the only one he cares about - you're the only one who can have that effect on him - and that makes you the Most Special-est Girl. C'mon, who's the most inaccessible Bad Boy in Pete's sphere? Certainly not Kinn, who'll just up and tell Pete that he trusts him the Very Most - even more than Pete's best friend! who Kinn is fucking! - the hot minute that Kinn's coercing Pete into doing something he really, really doesn't want to do. And you know Pete's daydream version of what makes him the Most Special-est Girl involves killing someone the best and quickest and most efficiently - because if he wins in the ring a fight, then the most emotionally inaccessible, violent man he knows (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him) will love him, right? Not to mention, a guy with that many gun posters doesn't get stuck on Tankhun-babysitting detail and not have fantasies about proving his worth via violence. Listen, he just spends an awful lot of time standing around in Vegas's right-hand man spot like he's trying on the position during Ep 7, is all I'm sayin'.

… in which the vague allusions to Pete’s Daddy Issues were absolutely intentional. And I’ve also commented before about Pete finding another home with an angry man at the safehouse. And yet it wasn’t until yesterday’s post rolled up on my own dashboard and I saw it again today that the Brick Of Revelation hit me in the head and I thought about this through the framework of - my god! Pete and Vegas really do play out the very scenario that Pete warns Vegas about when you’re seeking the approval of your father abuser!

In the safehouse, Pete wins. He achieves his fantasy. He pulls the thorn out of the lion’s paw, and he gets the notice and special regard of Vegas Theerapanyakul, and he gets his world rocked on top of that, and then … then it turns out nothing changes. Vegas – the guy who expected that Pete winning in the ring would mean that his father would stop beating him, the guy who continues to seek his own abusive father’s approval, who keeps trying to win against Kinn, in the hope that Kun will stop treating him as a disposable whipping boy – Vegas goes right back to physically and emotionally abusing Pete. On top of that, the fantasy doesn’t play out in reality; Vegas literally tells Pete that he’s nothing special. (I mean, lies, of course, but the fact is that Vegas says it right to his face.)

I just. This is another one of those instances where I walked up to this revelation and even walked all the way around it, poking at it, but I just never looked at it straight on until this moment - the way Pete’s experience in the safehouse so closely mirrors his experience with his father. We watch Vegas continue to recreate the cycle of abuse, and we're like, "oh, dude, you need to make some better decisions," but we've also just spent 2.5 eps watching Pete, dispenser of this very wisdom, fall back into the same patterns he warns Vegas about. Because breaking that cycle and changing your behavior and your expectations is hard. Even when your head knows better. The things this show says about generational trauma and intimate violence and patriarchal control, I just ... god. Just, don't mind me, I have to go claw at some drywall for a while.

Also, it makes me wonder if Pete did kill his father. Because if he ran from home the same way he ran from the safehouse, if we’re supposed to look at this echo forward into the present of what happened in the past, then are we supposed to think that maybe there was a similar confrontation in the past, in which Pete struck out before he extricated himself from the trap he was in and ran?

Vegas is a lot younger and more resilient (and used to being knocked around) than Pete’s dad probably was, at that point.

[c-m-stuff]

Safe Again

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are married. You two have a beautiful son, but suddenly he is involved in a school shooting.

-Warnings: Angst, having a child, school shooting (no one gets hurt, except the shooter)

-Word count: 1318

-Note: (Repost from Wattpad!) It's horrible this happens often, and I'm so sorry for the ones who have experienced this. I hope, everyone is okay and safe. Also, let's say this is around season 7 referring to the kids age. Much love <3

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

'Admit it, pretty girl. I won the game.' Derek stated, while we all were sitting in the conference room.

'Yeah, only because you cheated!' I said back, with a chuckle on my face.

'No, I didn't!'

'Yes, you did.' my husband confirmed, while the others nodded.

Just as Derek wanted to argue back, Aaron came in with a rush. We all got quiet, looking at his concerned state. It made us also worried.

'We need to leave, now.' he spoke in a serious voice, meaning it.

'Hotch, what's wrong?' Emily asked, as we all looked up at him, confused.

'There is a school shooting.' he started, as we all got up immediately, but he stopped us.

'In the school of our kids.' he finished, all our eyes wide, full of fear and concern.

Our son, Henry and Jack, went all to the same school. However, they weren't the same age. Jack is a little bit older, while Henry and (Y/S/N) are almost the same age. But, they were best friends, which is great.

We took as quick as we could our stuff, running towards the black SUV's. I sat next to Spencer, holding his hand tightly. I looked him in the eyes, with concern and fear. Spencer looked at me the same way.

_________________________

Finally, we all made it into the school, already wearing our bulletproof vests. Just as we stepped out of the SUV's, we heard the loud sound of shooting. My heart went faster and faster, worse scenarios taking my thoughts over. A single tear, escaping my eye.

'HOTCH!' suddenly Derek yelled, as just on time, he shot.

The unsub, collapsed on the ground, while crying it our from the pain. He tried to shoot at us, the first thing when we arrived, but luckily Derek didn't let him. Derek ran over to him, making sure his weapon was out of sight, and cuffing the shooter.

There was standing an officer, who probably made the call, waiting for us. We all walked, with high speed, towards him.

'Is there another shooter?' Aaron tried to ask him as normal as possible, but we could hear his shaking voice.

'That was the only one. We all heard shots a few times, but I don't know if anyone got hit.'

'Alright, Reid, Prentiss, Morgan and I, are bringing the kids in safety downstairs. JJ, Rossi and (Y/L/N), you do that upstairs.' Aaron ordered, as we all nodded, before entering.

Just like he had said, me, JJ and David, went upstairs. We first called all the children with us, saying they were safe, and that they needed to go outside. As we had all the kids, and the classrooms were empty, David offered to bring them, together with the teachers, outside. JJ and I, thanked him, and went to look for our own children, as they weren't with the rest of the kids.

We both went different directions, calling out their names, looking in every classroom. My heard raced as crazy, as I tried not to breakdown, from fear and concern.

I went inside a classroom, seeing nobody.

'(Y/S/N), Henry, Jack!' I called out, as suddenly I heard footsteps running towards me.

'Mommy! Auntie (Y/N)! Aunt (Y/N)!' the three familiar voices, making me sign out a breath of relief.

To be clear, I wasn't technically their aunt, which I don't mind. But, I've spent a lot of time with them, and they started to call me also "auntie (Y/N)" or "aunt (Y/N)", making me really happy.

I squatted down, while spreading my arms open, as the three boys ran into my arms. I hugged them tight, and pressed a kiss on each of their heads.

'Omg, there you are. We all were so worried. Are you guys okay? Are you in any pain?' I asked them, slightly releasing them from the hug.

'We don't have pain, mommy.' my son said, as they nodded their heads in agreement.

Their eyes were still filled with fear, and I could see, that they have cried.

'Everything is okay now. We have the bad guy, he can't come anymore. You are all safe.' I assured them, as they calmed down.

'Let's find your mommy, Henry, and you daddy, Jack. They are really worried about you.'

'Do you want to hold my hands?' I asked them, as they immediately took them.

I stood up, (Y/S/N) holding my left hand, while Henry was holding my right. Jack, holding Henry's hand.

I walked out of the classroom, as I just saw JJ across the hallway, leaving a classroom, only to quickly go to another. She was with her back towards us, causing me to call her.

'JJ!' she turned around, as a weight fell off her shoulders.

'MOMMY!' Henry yelled, as he let go of my hand, running in the arms of the blonde.

'Henry, I was so worried. Are you alright? Oh, come here.' she lifted him up, hugging him.

She thanked me, with appreciation on her face. I smiled, happy the two had reunited. In the meanwhile, I was holding Jack's hand with my right, as we walked closer to them.

'DADDY!' Jack yelled, as he also let go of my hand, running towards his father, who just took the stairs.

Aaron immediately lifted him up, hugging him also closely.

'There you are. Is everything okey? You're safe now, buddy.' he reassured his son, also whispering a "thank you", as I replied with a smile.

'Hotch, have you seen Spence?'

'Yeah, he's looking worriedly downstairs.'

'Thanks.'

I squatted down again, meeting our beautiful son.

'Let's go find daddy.' I said to him, as I lifted him up. I pressed a kiss on his head, still so relieved he is okay. Relieved that everyone is okay.

I went downstairs with him, as I saw, Derek, David and Emily, just leaving a classroom, still looking for the missing kids.

'Oh, you have him.' Emily breathed out a sigh of relief, they all did.

'Yeah, Henry and Jack are also fine.' I answered, as they relaxed more.

'That's good. No one got hurt, by the way.' Emily spoke out, putting a smile on my face.

'That's great. Do you guys know where Spencer is?'

'He's looking here somewhere.' Derek answered, as I thanked them, before leaving to find Spencer.

'Sweetheart, do you want to call your daddy, please?' I asked our son, as he nodded.

'DADDY!' he yelled, as Spencer rushed out of a classroom. Once he saw us, he ran towards us.

'Gosh, are you both okay? Are you hurt, buddy?' he said, worriedly, as I handed our son to him.

(Y/S/N), shook his head, while his dad hugged him tight.

'I found him with Henry and Jack, they're all fine. No one got hurt.' I assured him, as I planted a kiss on his cheek. He did the same with me, before my phone began to rang.

Seeing who was calling, I answered my phone, and putted it on speaker.

'Finally, someone picks up. Please, please, tell me the children are alright.' I heard Penelope, concern raising her voice.

'Everyone is fine, Penny. No one got hurt, and we found (Y/S/N), Henry and Jack.'

'Thank goodness, you all need to bring the kids to here, I need to cuddle them.' she joked, but deep down, she meant it.

'Will do, Penny.' and, with that, everyone went back to the BAU, with the kids.

_________________________

[theflyindutchwoman]

Hi I’m back.

But mad now.

WHY IS EVERYONE (expect Tim) TREATING MY BABY LUCY SO BAD!?

No one was in that room supporting her after the shooting.

Angela and Nyla treated her like shit, looking at her like she’s less then. Acting like her failing to make detective was actually her own fault!?

The way Nolan fucked up and ends up on fucking tv!? While Lucy “makes a mistake” at a scene and gets taunted!?

No one our girl is spiraling lately. The only person she has right now is Tim. He has been unwavering in his support.

I’m so mad 😤 and then I’m also nervous because next week it seems like they’re making Tim abandon Lucy!? And like wtf is that!? He better explain himself and not join the dark side. He’s all we have for her right now (unless we include Tamara but she’s MIA)

Who do we talk to about giving my baby a better support team and friends!? Jackson would never.

LUCY RISKED HER FUCKING LIFE TONIGHT TO STOP THAT GUNMAN AND A SINGLE ONE OF THEM SEEMED TO CARE! (Again excluding our husband Tim Bradford)

See, I don't know if it's because I saw that hospital scene first - I forgot about the time change so that's the only scene I caught live - but I didn't think they were treating Lucy that badly (or maybe I expected worse). She was the suspect of a shooting, she had to be isolated. That's standard procedure. We saw some of it in 1.08 when Nolan shot someone, killing him in the process. Talia had to secure the scene while he was waiting in the hallway alone. Same when Grey showed up. It's in Lucy's best interest that they follow the procedure to the letter so she can be cleared.

But that doesn't mean people weren't there to support her. Nolan and Aaron showed up for her. They were just waiting outside. Grey was asking how she was doing. The reason why Tim was able to go directly to her is because he wasn't involved in the orginal case or the pending IA investigation. And as soon as they got an update, Grey and Wesley immediately went to her to ease her mind. Now, Wesley's reaction seemed a bit harsh, but in my opinion, he was just trying to warn her of what could possibly happen in the worst case scenario so she could prepare herself. He didn't insist on doing the interview while it was still fresh or anything. Maybe he could have been more empathetic instead of matter-of-fact, but Grey and Tim's reactions balanced him. Especially Tim! I love that final scene of the two of them so much.

I'm going to circle back on the Angela and Nyla thing in another post (I have a couple of asks on that topic as well). But I will say that between the Pentagram killer + the shooting, I'm sure they were both very busy. And again, they couldn't be seen talking to Lucy either. But the look of horror and terror on their faces when Lucy fell down in that alley was rather telling.

Now, there is a part that pissed me off as much as you and that's Nolan getting on TV after messing up… The double treatment is so jarring. I miss the days where making a mistake had some consequences for everyone. The man is like Teflon, nothing sticks anymore.

Anyway, back to Lucy…. I don't think she's as alone as she thinks. She feels isolated, that's clear. I'm going to write about this later once I gather my thoughts a bit more but there was a small moment that I think illustrate this difference of perspective : at the hospital, when she was alone in that room, she saw Grey and Wesley look at her before turning away. We, as the viewer, know that Grey was asking how she was holding up. But I can see how, for her, it would look entirely different. She's in a bad place mentally and it's all piling up. And like you said, it's going to get worse before it gets better, with Tim going MIA. That said, this last scene at the hospital makes me believe that he will have a good reason for not telling Lucy. Most likely because it concerns a classified matter or something like that. I just can't picture the man who was rushing through the hospital to get to her, will suddenly disappear on her when she needs him the most. There has to be more to that story. But yes, moments like these really remind me how much I miss Jackson 😭 You can truly feel his absence. Lucy needs friends.

[kyrakyrakitty]

this might come off as cruel or sadistic, but i don't want walpurgisnacht rising to have a perfect ending for madoka and homura. i dont want a doom and gloom ending, either - i think the best outcome of the film would be a bittersweet ending ♡

i dont wanna flood your dashes, so ill elaborate below the cut!! and in case you dont want to read, ill wish you a good day now ♡♡

first tho, pmmm is a story of hope, and it's given that to me and so many others for over a decade now. i think everyone is touched by it in a different way, and that's one of my favorite parts of this community!! but that's also to say, i know i don't speak for everyone here, and i love seeing posts about a happily-ever-after scenario for the holy quintet ♡ i love all of these characters immensely, and i definitely understand the desire to see them finally find peace, so i dont write this with any ill intent towards the characters or all of you in this community who just want to see them happy ♡ i know many of you have just as special a place in your heart for this series as i do, and i think thats incredible for so many reasons ♡

that said!

madoka's wish and homura's wish are inherently incompatible. they're mutually exclusive. madoka cannot sacrifice herself for the greater good without devastating homura, and homura cannot keep madoka safe without preventing her from fulfilling her dream of giving everything she has to others. there cannot be hope without despair, after all.

ive always loved the ending of the og series for being so bittersweet. it says "life can be painful, but there's always reason to hope", and "you are never alone", but it doesn't promise a perfect outcome. life will hurt, and you can do everything in your power to change it, but just as you can always find hope for a better tomorrow, you can never erase all of the pain from the world. i think a happily-ever-after ending would muddle that message, and i don't think its possible for madoka and homura to live happily together - at least not as they are now.

if madoka and homura were to end up together at the end, they'd both have to undergo major character development. madoka would have to realize that as hard as she tries, she can't save everyone, and sometimes the pain you'll cause by sacrificing yourself will outweigh whatever hope you might instill. homura would have to come to terms with the fact that she cannot spare madoka from every source of pain without, herself, hurting madoka.

the happiest ending i could forsee (for madohomu, at least) would involve both of them undergoing a major event to come to their respective conclusions and move forward together with that trauma and an earnest desire to reach an equilibrium. i think the most effective way to accomplish this would be a major character death - probably mami and/or sayaka (and if both, may as well throw in kyoko and nagisa for extra angst! :) ♡) - that occurs specifically because madoka has overused her magic to help others and no longer has any to give to save her friend(s) without completely corrupting her soul gem, and similarly because homura could not prevent madoka from witnessing the death(s) of those she cherished and experiencing that grief and pain.

alternately, the two could cease to exist together. perhaps the "homura is walpurgisnacht" theory is true (i think there's a solid chance) and in order to save the world, madoka has to use all her strength to kill her and the two of them go down together kyosaya style.

another fun ending (albeit not one where the two are together) is a variation of madoka killing homura as walpurgisnacht - what if madoka had to kill homura before she becomes walpurgisnacht, in a direct parallel to homura shooting madoka's soul gem to prevent her from becoming a witch? oh how the turn tables,,,,

ooh! or what if both homura and madoka have to disappear together, but ai (clara doll #15, and our mystery magical girl if that theory holds (which i also think is likely)) lives on as a remnant of the love they shared?? then we could get a manga afterwards thats just a lil story about ai's life as a magical girl too!!

i think i forgot the thesis of this post towards the end there, but thank you for reading!! id love to hear any thoughts you have!! ♡♡ may you always find reason to smile ♡♡

[lindszeppelin]

Hi Linds!

I’m stopping by for a little ramble about one of the details that has emerged in the TIFF sitch: that Kaia and Corey call each other soulmates.

I have some thoughts.

I can genuinely think of no scenario where saying that seriously while hanging on each other is okay if you are in a happy, committed relationship. The only way it might possibly be kosher is if there was a little joking “Sorry Austin! I’m just kidding!” from one or both of them as if they knew they were just making a huge fun deal of their fabulous friendship.

Like if Will Ferrell was on a red carpet with Kristin Wiig and said that… everyone would know they were playing up and joking as part of their schtick. No one would even wonder if they were, in fact, more than friends. Or if they were in a serious interview and said something like that, they might say they were “comedy soulmates” to indicate how much they click professionally. And it would be harmless and everyone would know what they meant and that no one was a threat to anyone’s partner.

But let’s pretend for a sec that Austin and K are still a couple (🤣🤣🤣 I can barely even consider it but let’s give it a shot for the sake od conversation). While Austin would not be threatened by such a display, he seems like the kind of man who would want to make it very clear publicly that he fully supported his partner in her big movie premiere.

He would have been quite visible, I believe, in cheering her on in the run up to TIFF, including those miserable forced pap walks we got all through NYC last month. He would have taken that opportunity to make it obvious he’s her guy with smiles and hugs and easy interaction between them. Instead we got endless photos of him scrolling on his phone, hiding under trucker hats, seething with annoyance at the paps, and generally demonstrating complete disinterest and at times even contempt for her. And let’s not even talk about the birthdays! 🙄

If he were involved and participating (willingly) in her life AT ALL, then there would have been a totally different catalog of photos from that time, along with be mentions of him during her SNL press and possibly even comments from him on social media — even while filming — or at least indicators that he is checked into her “big” Hollywood moment.

But ain’t none of that happening!

Because he does not give a flying fuck about her. I think he’s off living his best creative life (with personal happiness on the horizon) and her toxic bullshit in the rear view and getting smaller by the minute.

I can understand why average folks who don’t follow this stuff might not see any red flags here or even notice it. But if you have paid attention to Austin ever, it’s so glaringly obvious that they are no longer together because even she — stage five clinger/leech that she is — is going to lengths to distance herself from the situationship.

I can’t wait to officially celebrate what I believe to already be true: that Austin is racing 180 degrees in the opposite direction from this unpleasant chapter.

Until then, I’m gonna alternate between enjoying the unfolding developments and completely ignoring them. Lol

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Love, MJ

PS. I feel compelled to say that I hope (but do not expect) this girl will get thousands of hours of therapy to get her shit together, because she is extremely unwell on several levels. I do not feel any glee over her vivid decline. But I also don’t feel sorry for her. Nothing but good would come from her seeking qualified professional help, but I doubt that’s the route she’ll take.

Hi again my friend!

There truly is no scenario in which calling another man your soulmate is appropriate when you're with a guy. Of course, this is a PRship we're talking about and Kaia never loved Austin or had genuine care for him in the first place. So long as Austin was the thing that made her in the headlines and gave her good press that was all fine with her. Her disregard for his feelings and him as a person is obvious. And same from him to her. I think he cared for her in the beginning, he's not someone devoid of care like she is. But he soon realized how despicable of a person she is. Which is why he clearly doesn't give a shit if she makes out with her friends of if she calls Corey her soulmate, because he has no regard for her or her feelings either.

Just goes to show that Kaia is distancing herself from Austin, and he from her in return. Calling another man her soulmate, the love of her life, touching him on the carpet, flirting with him, pressing her entire front into his body without a care, and saying "your parents" to ham fuel the people talking about them online...all point to one thing. The end lol

[skzhua]

i'll show you ('your eyes' series)

♡ "I need to see it to believe it."

pairing: seo changbin x reader.

genre: fluff, slight angst.

word count: 8,589

warnings: swearing, suggestive, reader is lowkey mean in the beginning.

summary: hearing changbin telling your friend, hwayoung, that he is convinced he can organize a better date than the guy who ruined hers, you can only laugh at him. persuaded he can prove you otherwise, he bets he can make you fall for him by going out with him on a date. the competitive in you accepts.

a/n: i'm so sorry this took this long for me to post!! inspiration was kind of dead these days and i've had a rough pass but i'm back!! enjoy this one, i think it might be a close favourite to minho's scenario~

SERIES MASTERLIST

Class was dismissed, which meant it was finally time for you to drag Changbin to the small ramen place you discovered the previous week. He was as much a foodie as you were, which justified perfectly why the both of you got along so well. Apart from your usual mean (but friendly) comments, you would rarely have arguments with the man.

Arriving to your locker, your roommate, Hwayoung, was crying her eyes out. Well, more like her eyes were puffy red and she sniffled loudly. Anyway, she was crying. This only meant one thing : another failed attempt at dating. She had always had the need of being in a relationship, so she tried every dating app that could exist. Her poor best friend, Jisung, had to watch all of this while crushing massively on the girl. You felt bad for the both of them. Meanwhile, Changbin pointed out her sadness with a joke.

"Your eyes are red, did you get high or something?" he laughed which earned him a small punch in his stomach from you.

Hwayoung's eyes got filled with more tears as Jisung rubbed her back in comfort. "I know I don't have much success with dating, but did this jerk have to tell me in my face that I'm an annoying piece of shit?"

Jisung winced at the sight and brought her into his arms. The first time you met the pair, you were convinced they were romantically involved since they would always be touching each other in some way. Plus, it was almost as it they never left the other's side. To say the least, you were practically shocked to learn they were only friends.

Changbin scoffed cockily from the words Hwayoung spilled. "There are plenty of other guys in this school. Even myself could take you on a proper date and treat you with actual respect."

Jisung sent a glare to his older friend, unsure on why he would be suggesting such a thing while being well aware of his feelings for the girl. "Right." he muttered under his breath.

You felt bad for the guy and, most importantly, wanted to beat Changbin's ass for making such an inappropriate comment. "As if you could date." you laughed.

"Might I remind you that I used to be very popular in high school." he said proudly.

"Used to be." you pointed out. "I haven't seen you go out even once with someone since I met you."

"I swear I'm a gentleman."

"Dude, you insult people 90% of the time."

"It's different, I don't intend on dating y'all."

Somehow, this grandly affected you. "I'm as much dateable as you are. Probably more."

Jisung let out a groan, unimpressed by your useless argument. "Guys, we have more important issues, here." he cocked his head towards the girl in his arms.

"Right." you coughed. "Sorry, Hwayoung."

"Not, it's fine. You two are much more dateable than I am, that's for sure." she whimpered.

Not knowing what to do, you threw a panicked glance at Jisung. "What do we do?" you mouthed.

"I got this." he mouthed back as he rolled his eyes. "Hey." he made the girl look at him. "How about we have a movie night together? It'll help you, I think."

Hwayoung hesitated as her eyes shifted towards you. "I don't know. Y/N and I had plans."

You shook your head vigorously. "Go with Jisung. We'll do our girls night another time."

She thanked you, grateful, and headed out, still in Jisung's arms. The boy mouthed a "thanks" as he lead his friend outside the school.

"So? That ramen place?" Changbin breathed out, turning to face you.

With a grin, you closed your locker and dragged him to the small store near campus. You had gone once with Hwayoung and you were dying to bring someone else to eat there with you, only to give yourself an excuse to spend on unhealthy food.

When reading the menu, Changbin frowned as he checked the ingredients. "Do you want me to ruin my efforts with my work out?" he pointed to the amount of calories.

"Stop being a baby." you rolled your eyes. "It has more protein than grease, I swear."

Still unconvinced, he ended up ordering the beef ramen anyway, while you ordered the spicy chicken. Waiting patiently for the food to come, you showed Changbin some pictures you had taken that week of your mutual friends. Felix was looking oddly disturbed in one, so you turned it into a meme and Changbin was living for it.

The food eventually arrived and you wasted no time to dig in, slurping loudly as you ate the noodles. Changbin was pleasantly surprised at the taste and complimented your choice of restaurant. You both had never eaten that fast and it took you no time to finish your meals. You insisted on paying since you were the one to invite him, but he was not going to let you get away that easy.

"What kind of gentleman am I if I don't pay?" he scoffed, pulling out his wallet.

"Ah, right. Because you are a total gentleman." you rolled your eyes. "You're the damsel here, let me pay."

He glared at you but you happily went to the counter and paid. You headed out to go back home with a pissed Changbin who was pouting like a child.

"Quit being a baby." you nudged his arm and he only sent you another glare in return. "Fine, you'll pay next time then?"

"No, it's not about that." he mumbled.

"What is it then? Is it because I called you a lady?" you laughed.

"It's because you really don't believe me when I say I can be a perfect gentleman. I swear I was such a catch in high school." he whined.

"Yeah, it's because you whine like this all the time that I don't believe you." you chuckled, gesturing to his childish behaviour.

"I swear I am."

"Uh, uh."

"I'm not bullshitting, Y/N."

"I need to see it to believe it."

"Then let me show you!" he exclaimed in frustration and you stopped walking to stare at him.

You perked an eyebrow, confused on whether you had heard him right or not. "Repeat, please?"

"Let me show you I can be a perfect date. I bet you could fall in love with me right after that."

You huffed in pure disbelief, but the look on his face remained serious. "Dude, you're not being serious."

"Never been more serious."

"Is this about your pride or something?"

He smirked. "Totally is about my pride."

You laughed as he kept a straight face. "I'm so ready to not give you that satisfaction. Alright, deal. Take me on a date and we'll see if you're really all that great."

Changbin grinned wickedly. Little did the both of you know this was probably the worst idea ever, but neither was ready to lose in front of the other.

A month or so had passed and neither of you brought the subject up again. It was like it never happened, and you were more than pleased to ignore it. Frankly, you didn't want to go on a date with Changbin. He was handsome, you would never deny that. However, you could not see him romantically ever. Thus, you doubted he would even succeed in making you like him.

Coming into the local store, you waved at Eunhee, the worker who was doing nothing other than watching a movie on her phone instead of working.

"You're alone today?" you asked while you searched for your favourite candies.

"Jeongin's on his break, he's in the backstore."

"I see." you nodded your head slowly before walking up to the beverages. "Did you guys receive any new drinks?"

Eunhee checked her inventory list real quick before shaking her head. "We have those nasty ass juices, though." she pointed at the bottles to your left.

"Ew, no thanks."

You picked your usual drinks and came to the cash to pay. "Are you almost done with your shift?" you asked while she typed something on the computer next to her.

"I finish in an hour." she groaned.

"Stop complaining, I do the night shift today." Jeongin said as he came from the back. "Hey, Y/N." he waved at you.

"Night shift? Rough." you commented. "We're having a little get-together just now."

"The beers are for the boys?"

"Yeah." you shrugged. "But mostly Changbin."

You finished paying and left the two workers to head back to Changbin's flat. He welcomed you with a big hug before helping you with your bags. Analyzing your surroundings, it felt nice to know the boys did clean once in a while. For the first time, you could actually see the colour of the floor.

"Did Chan force you to clean up?" you joked, putting the drinks in the fridge.

"No, I simply thought it wouldn't hurt to put our dirty clothes away." he shrugged. He opened one of the beer pack, and held one out to you. "Want one?"

"You're already drinking?"

"It's literally the first time I get to relax since the week started, let me live!"

Chan came out of his room and waved briefly at you as he still had his phone against his ear. He hurried the caller to hang up. Changbin snorted as he took a sip of his beer. He dropped on the couch, patting the spot next to him to invite you to join him, but you shook your head as a refusal.

"You're going to stand there all night?" he lifted an eyebrow at you.

"I'll take a seat eventually, jeez." you breathed out.

Chan finally ended the call, and sighed in relief. He took a beer for himself and sat next to Changbin, throwing his head back in exhaustion.

"You good, there?" you asked him.

"School things, nothing much." he said, drinking his beverage.

"Men." you snorted upon watching the pair drinking lazily, even though it was barely 6pm. "Are Ji and Hwa coming tonight?"

"Jisung confirmed, but I believe Hwayoung is going out with Junsoo." Chan answered.

The name sounded familiar. You searched through your mind where you had heard it before. Unsure, you opened your social medias to look the name up. The moment you clicked on a profile, your eyes grew bigger.

"This jerk?" you exclaimed, shoving the screen to their faces.

Changbin frowned. "Isn't this the guy who tried to get you in his pants at the party last year?"

"I'm amazed you even remember, Bin. You passed out on that night." you clapped your hands slowly, earning a glare.

"She's going out with this guy?" Chan huffed. "Should we tell Jisung?"

"He'll go crazy if we do so." you dismissed his suggestion. "I just hope she'll be fine by the end of her date."

Jisung and Minho were the next ones to arrive, followed by Sora not too long after. For the night, you settled on simply hanging out in the living room, put some music, and drink while chatting. Sora, getting more intoxicated as time passed, fell asleep on Chan's shoulder.

"Someone needs to watch her alcohol consumption." you laughed out as you took another sip of your own drink.

You repositioned yourself on your seat and stumbled by yourself, almost falling on Changbin. "Look who's speaking." he laughed as he caught you in time. "Should I get you back home? I know you work tomorrow morning." he asked softly, stroking the locks of your hair.

"You're no fun." you pouted and he raised an eyebrow at you. "Fine, I suppose you are right."

Your things were near where Jisung was sitting. He had not included himself much during the night, as he had his eyes fixated on his phone. As you approached him, you noticed he was in call as he said Hwayoung's name with a frown on his face.

"Hwayoung, baby, where are you? What did he do?" he stood up so suddenly.

You and Changbin stepped aside as he started to grab his belongings in a hurry. He then suddenly stopped what he was doing.

"Of course, we don't mind. Come right up and I'll make you some tea. Does it sound okay for you?" he asked, and you assumed Hwayoung answered on the other side of the line. "Come up quickly."

Changbin sent him a look, as the rest of you were doing. Jisung looked uncomfortable as he was now the center of attention.

"You can go in my room, if you want." Chan offered. "I'll sleep at Minho's instead."

"When did I agree with this?" Minho argued, until Chan glared at him.

"Thank you. Can I use your boiler to make her some tea?" Jisung replied, earning an approval from the older man.

As he was preparing the things for the girl, she knocked at the door and Jisung almost drowned her in a hug. You and Changbin took this opportunity to leave the place quietly, waving briefly at the others.

The weather was nice. There was a cool breeze, but not too cold for you to be freezing. Anyway, you were already hot as it is, still having alcohol in your system. Nonetheless, Changbin still brought you closer to him.

"I swear to God, Hwayoung needs to stop going out." you whined. "Why is she doing this to herself? To be fair, the boys here all suck." You turned to look at Changbin, not even a bit stunned by how close your face was to his. "Why do you suck?"

His gaze went down on your lips for a brief moment, but he shook it off with a cough. "I told you I'm a good candidate for dating."

You scoffed, sending the smell of liquor to his face. "You're still onto that date thing?"

"I was being serious. I'm convinced you'll see how I actually am a great guy."

"Bin, you're a good friend, but you're a man. And men are assholes."

He couldn't deny there was a lot of truth in what you were saying. He, himself, had seen his older sister struggle with that aspect and, frankly, he couldn't believe how they could be such jerks.

"I'm not like that."

You whistled in a teasing way. "Binnie having his quirky moment."

He deadpanned at you. "Shut up, you know what I meant."

"Fine." you finally agreed. "This time, for real, we're going on a date."

"Good with me." Changbin affirmed. "When do you want to do this?"

"Tomorrow?"

You surprised yourself with your boldness and he was even more shocked. You had already got to your dorm, so you waved him carelessly goodbye before heading inside, leaving him no time to argue. Your cheeks were flushed and you weren't so sure if it was because of the alcohol anymore. You still went ahead and took a long shower to freshen up.

When it was time to go to bed, you heard a notification sound coming from your phone multiple times. You didn't bother checking who was being so insistant, being too tired from your evening. Before you knew it, you were sound asleep.

Regret. You would say you never regretted anything in your life. You genuinely thought you could only learn from bad experiences and embrace them as part of your life. But now, you could only feel regret.

And that, ever since that morning, when you saw the messages Changbin had sent you. The same ones you had decided to ignore the previous night.

Changbin: Tomorrow? You do realize this gives me so little time to prepare an actual good date?

Changbin: Y/N, answer me!

Changbin: Did you fall asleep yet?

Changbin: Alright, tomorrow it is, then. I think I can manage to organize something.

Changbin: Do you like something simple or extravagant?

Changbin: Don't answer that.

Changbin: Well, I guess you are sleeping... I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

You were in panic, to say the least. You would been just fine if you two hadn't brought up the topic of the date again. But here you were. Why were you even being nervous about it? You should be feeling okay with it, you're the one who said he wouldn't be able to woo you, so you didn't understand why he was already having this effect on you without even doing anything yet.

"Stop biting your nails!" Hwayoung slapped your hand away from your face. "You keep getting distracted, are you okay?"

You deadpanned at her, not believing she was the one asking you if you were okay while she was crying her eyes out the previous night. "Am I okay? Hwa, you were literally crying a river yesterday, but you agreed to go on a date the next day. Are you good?"

"Minyoung seems nice." she shrugged.

"That's what you said for all the other guys, but sure." you mumbled under your breath. "Anyway, help me pick an outfit." She started to laugh uncontrollably, leaving you confused. "What did I say?"

"You want me to help you dress? We dress nothing alike, Y/N." she kept on giggling. "And might I remind you this is a date with Seo Changbin."

"It's still a date."

"Fine." she snorted. "What are you two going to do?"

"I don't know, I ignored his calls and left him on read since this morning."

She froze from your words. Out of all her friends, you were one to never be good with romance or anything of that sort. If anything, she considered you as a lost cause. This only confirmed her thoughts.

"You're so dumb, I swear." she sighed desperately before stealing your phone.

"Hwayoung!" you yelled out, trying to get your phone back.

She opened it easily since she knew your password and went ahead to look at your messages. "It's in an hour and forty five minutes at his parents' place." She frowned before looking up at you. "You've been to his house before?"

"Yeah, like once, but it was only because he had to get his mom's soup and I happened to be hanging out with him when she called."

"Uh." she nodded her head, deep in thoughts. "Alright, then I suggest you wear one of my skirts with that pretty shirt of yours that you wore last time we went to the bar together."

Before you could say anything, she threw your phone back at you and went to her closet, searching for a certain piece of clothing. She then shot at you her red plaid skirt, which earned a glare from you.

"What?" she exclaimed, defensive. "It's cute, and it matches with your top."

You grunted, throwing your head back. "Okay, I'll wear this. But I hate you."

"Stop lying, I'm literally saving your life right now."

You stuck out your tongue at her before leaving the room to get dressed. When you came back, Hwayoung squealed at the sight of you. She insisted on doing your makeup and hair, and you obliged. She wasn't giving you much of a choice anyway. Once satisfied with her work, she hurried you out of the dorm, almost like a mother who had prepped her daughter for her first day of school.

"Don't be home too late, or at least text me if you sleep over at his place." You glared at her for the hundredth time of the day. "And use protection!" she added.

"You're insufferable, even more than Bin."

"Have fun!" she ignored your comment before she closed the door.

Left alone in the hallway, you took a deep breath. You had no choice but to go now. You left the building as you checked the buses near you so you could get to Changbin's house as soon as possible.

While you were on the bus, he had called you again. You felt bad, but you really didn't want to talk to him just yet. Plus, it might ruin the element of surprise if you talked to him beforehand.

You got there sooner than you had anticipated. There was no car in the parking lot, meaning his parents must have left to leave the house available. You took all of your courage and walked to the door. After knocking, you waited for an answer. However, there was none. You tried again, but were left outside as it seemed there was nobody in the house. You took a chance by walking around and dared to go in their backyard. The moment you took a sniff of some food getting cooked, you didn't hesitate to open the gate.

There he was, Seo Changbin, in all of his glory. He dressed nicely with a white buttoned shirt and with his hair styled. Still, you couldn't help but laugh as you saw him with an apron on. This caused the man to shoot his head up, finally seeing you.

"Hey, Y/N! I didn't expect you to actually come." he chuckled.

You stopped laughing as you gave him a small smile as a sorry. "I had some stuff to do, I didn't get the time to reply."

"Glad you could make it." he said as he approached you. "You look beautiful, by the way. Skirts suit you."

You wanted to curse at him for saying something like this, but you couldn't. Changbin had come close enough to kiss your cheek and place his hand on your back, leading you to the table. You felt your heart stop for a bit, until it started to beat again when you saw the setup he made. He had laid out the utensils and plates beautifully on the table and he had arranged the place with some lights to give a romantic ambiance. He had already started to cook the steaks, and the smell was undeniably delicious.

"I am actually impressed." you said after he pushed your chair to sit comfortably at the table. "Are you always like this to girls?" you snickered.

"I am, I told you." he smiled as he went back to cooking the meat. "And I told you already, this is a proper date. Forget that we are friends for tonight."

This stuck in your mind. Forgetting that you are friends implied that he was going to treat you differently. Proof was how he had welcomed you, which had made your stomach flip around. You came here to prove something but you were already failing. You just couldn't lose in front of him. So you were going to act as well.

"Alright, handsome." you winked at him, which had seemingly worked to take him aback.

"R-Right." he stammered before letting out a small cough.

You could see from afar his Adam's apple move as he gulped, probably out of shyness. He proceeded to put some music on to fill the silence in the meantime that the food gets grilled.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"It was fine. I worked on some homework and cleaned up my dorm for once. I also hung out with Hwayoung a bit before coming here. The usual..."

"That's nice. Was Hwayoung feeling better?"

"She was. She actually got herself another date so, it's going for her..." you trailed off. "What about your day?"

He shrugged while starting to put away the meat on a plate. "It was fine, other than I was a bit stressed with setting up all of this." he admitted while gesturing the whole backyard. "I asked my mom and my sister for some help. I hope it's to your liking."

You were not used to him speaking to you like this. And it didn't help that he looked so fucking good while cooking and casually taking some sips of his water. When did he get this handsome?

"I love it, thank you." you smiled at him warmly.

He brought the food on the table and proceeded to present each dish, not forgetting to mention on why he chose each of them as they reminded him of you. If this is not peak domestic life material, you don't know what it is. But you liked it. A lot.

"The dessert is a surprise."

You frowned as you started to serve yourself. "Can't you tell me right away?"

He shook his head. "Enjoy your food for now."

"Alright. Thank you, Binnie." you chuckled.

You took a piece of the steak and ate it with some edamame he had prepared earlier. As soon as it touched your tasting buds, you couldn't believe how tender and yet buttery it was. You took another piece, just to be sure you were tasting it properly, and your eyes widened at the flavour. Changbin was looking at you expectedly, unsure if your reaction was a result of disgust or satisfaction.

"And?" he asked, biting his lip in nervousness.

"Where the fuck did you learn how to cook?"

He blinked a few times, processing your question. "I just followed my mom's recipes, to be honest."

"Well, tell your mom she makes great food. But since you were to one to cook tonight, I'd like to send my compliments to the chef."

He grinned at your words. "I'll let him know, thank you."

He then suddenly got up and told you to wait for a minute before he went inside the house. You were going to deduce a few points for leaving his date outside alone. Still, the food in front of you was enough for you to not complain. As he came back, he was holding a bottle of wine with two glasses.

"Trying to make me drunk on the first date?" you joked.

"Y/N, we aren't friends right now." he gave you a serious look. "Act as if I'm an actual guy who asked you out, please."

"Sorry..." you mumbled. "What kind is it?"

He let out a small laugh as he rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know, actually. It was in the fridge and my mom told me I could take it for tonight. Do you want a glass?"

"For sure."

Like a professional, he served you a glass, before serving himself, and he brought it up in the air. "Thank you for agreeing on going out with me."

You copied his action. "And thank you for planning out all of this. I'd have to say, not a lot of guys would go all the way from making the food to even do the decorations. It's very sweet."

You clang your glasses together before taking a sip each. The taste wasn't that bad, but it wasn't good either. You never were one for the wines, anyway. You were still in your Smirnoff sugary drinks era.

"What is your ideal type?"

This was a surprise. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. The question was too bold to your liking.

"What's yours?" you managed to say.

He smirked at you, and you just knew then that you shouldn't have said that. "You, of course."

"I'm flattered." you played along, ignoring the beating of your heart getting faster. "But I'm genuinely curious."

He thought for a moment. "I'd say someone simple who doesn't take life too seriously. Kind of like how I am, actually. I do like physical contact, so someone who's comfortable with that. And I like when someone is being themselves, it's the most attractive thing in my opinion."

You debated internally whether he was describing you intentionally for the whole purpose of the date, or if he was being sincere. You decided to opt for the second option, trying to make yourself believe there was a possibility he liked you. But you didn't like him, no. You only wanted to think that for your pride.

"For me, I'd say something similar to yours. But I want someone I know I can trust. Though you can never be sure on who to count on, I think your lover is supposed to be the first person you think of when wanting to talk about, I don't know, a stressful day or situation."

"That makes sense, yeah." You chuckled at his words, and he frowned. "What is it?"

"I don't know, you seem to be agreeing easily."

"I'm only being honest." he shrugged. "And now, I'm hungry." he breathed out as he stood up.

You hadn't even noticed you were done with eating by then. "You want more food?"

"The dessert." he simply said before walking to the grill again.

He searched in the box next to it and pulled out long metal sticks. Searching again, he then pulled a bag before showing it to you.

"This reminds me of when we all went camping last summer. I don't know why, but that night, when we decided to make marshmallows, I just thought you were breathtaking with the fire as the only source of light for me to see you. And then, you shared yours with me because I burnt mine... I think this was the rise of our friendship."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, you wanted to cry. You still refrained yourself from doing so since Hwayoung had put mascara on your lashes, but it was hard not to.

"I remember it too. We drank a lot." you laughed. "I slept in your tent that night."

He let out a nostalgic laugh, before taking the marshmallows out of the bag to put them on the sticks. "Yeah, you did. You fell asleep right away. I just knew then that I'd want you around for as long as possible."

The unexpected shift from a simple dinner to this deep conversation was too much for you. Changbin had won your stupid little deal. Everything he said brought you back to memories with him that you had never shared with anyone else. Even with Hwayoung, who you'd consider your best friend at that point. He was a constant in your life, and you'd be absolutely torn apart if he ever disappeared from it.

"Me too. We just got so much closer from then on, it felt right." you said, and he smiled at you.

"I'm glad we did. Now, do you want to help me with this? Because I might start a fire." he laughed out.

"You must have improved since last summer. Go ahead. You're the gentleman, after all?"

"Are you the bossy one when in a relationship?" he lifted an eyebrow at you.

"You could say that." you smirked.

And as predicted, he did burn the marshmallows. It was hilarious and added some fun to the evening, easing the mood after the deep conversation you shared. The night went on smoothly. Some jokes here, a few flirts there... You hated to admit it, but it was the best date you had gone on. Even considering the ones with your exes.

"I hate to break the mood, but I'm kind of cold."

"Oh." Changbin let out. "I know this is the first date only, but do you want to go inside? It might warm you up a bit."

You nodded your head, and he immediately led you inside. You had gone inside his house before, so it wasn't so weird. You opted to sit on the couch comfortably to continue your chatting.

"Damn, this couch is comfortable as hell." you exclaimed, feeling yourself melt into the cushions.

"I know, right?" he laughed.

You repositioned yourself a little, and then realized you were slowly getting closer to Changbin. He didn't seem to mind. Having mentioned he liked physical affection, it didn't surprise you much. But you wanted to test the waters. So you got even closer.

"Bin?" you said, tone soft.

"Yeah?"

"You said to forget we are friends tonight, right?"

"Yes." he responded, though he was not exactly sure on why you were asking this while getting dangerously close to him.

"So, we can agree tonight is kind of a free pass? Like, we won't talk about it other than if you did a good job or not at taking me on a date?"

He frowned as he bit down his lip. "I mean, if that's what you want, yes."

"So then, is it okay if I-" you stopped yourself for speaking any further.

You didn't need to anyway. You were too far close to his mouth that he understood what you meant. He gave you a small nod and you attached your lips to his in a matter of milliseconds. He tasted sweet because of your shared marshmallows mixed with a bit of wine. Though the combo sounds horrid, it was an addictive taste and you just could not get enough of it. Soon, you found yourself on his lap, hands playing with his hair as his were squeezing your figure. He made his way to leave a trail of kisses on your jawline before attacking your neck. You could tell he had experience since he found your sweet spot almost immediately. Startled, you unintentionally let out a soft moan.

"Fuck, Y/N, are you that sensitive?" he growled, and then proceeded to suck on your skin again.

"Fuck you."

"If that's what you want." he joked. "That skirt really does something to me."

He went back to kissing your lips, hungry for your taste. He was needy, but remained gentle.

"Thank Hwayoung for that." you said in-between the kisses, breathing heavily.

"I'd have to apologize for ripping it apart too, yeah."

He had walked you back home safely that night. You would have stayed at his place, but that if the situation was different. This wasn't genuine. You had slept together only as a result of a fake date. Was it good? Damn yes it was. Did you wish you would be waking up to his naked figure as the sun hit his perfect face? Yes, you did. But there was an agreement. Only for that night.

So that's what happened, nothing more. The next day, by some magic, you got the courage to reach out to him and exchange in a call.

"How was it?" he asked.

"The date or the sex?" you pondered and he chuckled.

"Both."

"Both were good, but both were missing something." you lied. "I'm sorry, Seo, but you lost. No feelings there."

He laughed. "I saw it coming. Alright, but you have to admit that I am a good first date."

"I'll give you that at least, yeah."

"See you at school?"

"Yeah, see you."

Things went back as normal quickly. You had silently agreed to not tell the others. You were more than okay with this, not wanting to face the teasing from your friends. Although things were okay, they were not at the same time. There was visibly an unspoken tension between the two of you, but you acted as if it didn't exist.

A week had passed when he called you to tell you he and Chan were hosting, yet, another of their hangouts. After confirming you would be present, you rushed to the convenience store to get the drinks, as you would always do.

"What are these?" you hummed at Eunhee, holding a bottle containing a dark purple liquid.

She lifted her head up from her book and shrugged. "I think it's some sort of fruit punch juice with alcohol."

You read the label and frowned. "It can't be so bad, I suppose."

You paid quickly for your things and, soon, you found yourself in Changbin's apartment with him hugging you tightly as you had just stepped foot inside.

"Hey, Bin." you whispered in his ear.

You let go of him as you made yourself at home. You started to unpack your groceries and you noticed Sora hanging out on the sofa.

"Hey, Sora!" you waved at her.

"Hi." she waved back. "What did you get for us?"

"Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." you shrugged while showing her the weird liquor. "And I got this for our Jisungie." you said while holding up the Fanta he would always ask for.

Changbin shook his head. "About that, he won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."

You and Sora exchanged knowing looks before she got up from the couch. "Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." she sighed before snatching it out of your hand.

It didn't long for Chan and Minho to join the lot with food. You went to help them out and then sat next to Changbin. Minho asked about Jisung's absence, and you went on to discussing about the poor man's love life.

"Alright, I'm blue this time!" Changbin exclaimed as you decided to start playing the board game he had prepared.

"I wanted blue." you mumbled, looking at him taking the pawn.

He flickered his eyes from you to the piece of plastic in his hand. Why had you this much effect on him?

"I'll be green, then." he sighed.

Your eyes glowed, taking the pawn from him to place it on the board. The game went along, simarly to the previous week. Some chitchatting, a couple of laughs... It was pleasant, until Chan and Sora started to discuss. You could feel her tense while he kept on bragging about Eunhee, his new friend.

She nodded her head along what he was saying, visibly uneasy. "Right. Sorry, I have a headache. Minho, do you mind helping me get some medicine?"

"No, of course." Minho immediately answered as he sat up.

Chan frowned. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." she exclaimed, cutting him off. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."

Her and Minho left the room while you and Changbin looked at each other. Chan went on his phone, and since Sora was up next to play the game, the two of you moved from sitting on the floor to the loveseat behind you.

"So? How was work today?" Changbin breathed out as he stretched his arm behind you.

"It was fine. I just couldn't wait to come here, though." you chuckled.

As you took a sip of your bizarre drink, he shifted his position to get a better look at you. "Ah yeah? You wanted to see me that bad?"

"Not everything is about you." you laughed out. "But essentially, yes." you admitted.

He froze. Gulping his saliva, he felt his heart clenching.

"Give me this." he shook his head, taking the bottle from you.

While you were fighting him to get it back, he searched for the percentage of alcohol on the label. Understandably enough, it had more than 10%, and you drank more than needed.

"Y/N, jeez. I thought you hated alcohol."

You shrugged, taking it back. "It tastes like grape juice. Plus, it's only my third one. I'm fine, I swear." you snorted.

"Sure you are, babe." he joked, but you blushed.

"This fake date got into your head too much." you said in a quieter tone.

"You're right, it didn't leave my mind once."

By then, Sora and Minho had come back and were seemingly about to leave. Chan argued with her a little, until he gave her a hug as they opened the door.

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" she waved at the two of you.

You helped the boys to clean around and do the dishes since you were pretty much done with the night.

"Do you mind if she stays the night?" Changbin eventually asked Chan, as if you were not in the same room as them.

"No, it's alright." he nodded before leaving the room.

You huffed, making the man turn to you. "I would have gone back home, you know?"

"Come on, it's not the first time you sleep in a bed with me." he winked, but you slapped his chest.

"Chan could hear you." you shushed him. "And it wasn't the same kind of sleeping. I'll be fine in the living room."

You were about to get some blankets, but he took your wrist to stop you. Perplexed, you frowned at him as he stepped closer to you.

"It could be a different kind of sleeping." He lifted his free hand close to your cheek, and gently tucked your hair behind your ear. "You should know I give great cuddles, too."

You hummed, not being able to think about anything to respond. He was way too close for you to be able to compute anything in your brain.

"Come with me, okay?"

You nodded, and he led you to his room. He didn't bother getting ready for bed. He simply pulled you into his arms and brought the covers to engulf the both of you. He was warm and soft, which was something you hadn't expected. Being the buff man he is, you would have thought it'd be feeling like laying on a rock. But no. This was the most comfortable you had felt in a long time. Before you knew it, you were already dozing off to sleep.

You would be lying if you said Changbin hadn't become a constant in your trail of thoughts as time went by. Everywhere you went, you'd spot something that reminded you of him. It was crazy how he made you feel like this in such a short amount of time.

"And hear this: he didn't even text me afterwards. Can you believe it?" Hwayoung complained to you while you watched Changbin get your orders at the counter.

"He'll do it eventually, don't worry." you tried to reassure her.

Changbin arrived with your latte and served Hwayoung her muffin she had asked for. She unwrapped it eagerly before shoving it whole into her mouth. You looked at her in disbelief.

"I would have never guessed that Jisung was the one who put you in this state." you huffed.

"Not my fault he ghosted me after he kissed me." she spat out, her mouth still full. "You should talk with someone when something like this happens instead of ignoring the issue. For real, it's like you fucked a close friend and then never establish what happens next. And sex is a big deal, as much as kissing is."

You felt Changbin glancing at you, but you remained unfazed. In a reassuring manner, you rubbed Hwayoung's back while she kept on cursing Jisung out.

"He might come to the party tonight. Take it as your chance to talk with him." you suggested.

However, she shook her head violently. "Forget about him. I'll just have fun tonight."

"This will go well..." you heard Changbin mutter sarcastically under his breath, making you laugh.

Afterwards, while Hwayoung wanted to go back to your dorm to get ready, you didn't feel the need to freshen up. You friend was stubborn, though, and wanted for you to look at your very best that night. She did the same as when you had your date with Changbin and she lent you one of her dresses. Good enough for you, it wasn't as short as what she, herself, wore on a daily basis. Still, it remained a dress nonetheless.

"I hate it." you said in a bored tone as you looked at yourself in the mirror. "Why do my boobs look like this? And why do you look gorgeous and I'm like a potato?"

She laughed at your words, visibly amused by your pain. "You look stunning. Changbin won't be able to look at anyone but you."

You turned slowly and sent her a questioning look. "What did you say?"

"Oh come on, Y/N, we're not blind. We all know the two of you fucked on your 'platonic' date. It was obvious."

You scoffed. "As if we didn't know for years you had a crush on Jisung." you spat out back.

"I said we forget about him." she rolled her eyes. "Now, are you going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"That you love him?"

"Are you?"

She whined, getting frustrated with you. "I don't love Jisung. Just answer my questions."

"Fine." you huffed. "I do love him. I'm just scared I guess... I don't want to ruin what we have. I can't do that to us."

"I suggest you talk to him tonight."

"I'll do it, if you promise me you will with Jisung."

She groaned. "I'll see? I don't know."

Sora was the one to greet the two of you when you arrived. With no Changbin in sight, you stuck closely to Hwayoung. The latter was already taking a few shots and she headed towards where people were dancing. You watched her, totally in disapproval. She eventually came to fetch you, leaving you no choice but to participate in her sensual dancing. When you felt a hand place itself on your hip, you didn't think twice before hitting the person in the balls, not in the mood of having hands all over your body. Hearing a loud familiar groan, you shot your head towards the man, only to realize you had just punched Changbin.

"Fuck, Bin, give me a warning, will you?" you said frantically as you helped him walk away from the dance area. "Your room?"

He nodded quickly and he leaned on you as you led the way. He plopped himself on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. You would have loved to help him soothe the pain that you caused, but it wasn't necessarily the best placement.

"I'm sorry." was the only thing you thought of saying.

"It's okay." he chuckled. "I suppose I could have said hi beforehand."

"Yes, please." you laughed with him.

You took the time to check him out subtly. He had a buttoned shirt again, but this time, he left more skin to be visible with three buttons undone. His hair was a messy fluffy and he had put on a few rings and chains. You assumed he took them from Chan since he wasn't so much into jewelry.

"You look good." he said, seemingly checking you out just as much. "Is this Hwayoung's dress?"

You nodded. "You look great, too. I love the shirt."

He hummed a small thanks and then invited you to sit with him. You did so and he took your hand in his. You felt intimidated, to say the least.

"Are you going back to your parents' place this summer?" he asked.

"Most likely, why?" you tilted your head to the side.

"They still live far, right?"

"Like two hours from here." you shrugged. "It'll be nice, I mean, I haven't seen them that much in the last year."

"I see." he breathed out heavily, which made you frown.

"And you?"

"They leave close by, it's not much of a difference." he laughed and then paused for a moment, deep in thoughts. "Are we still going to see each other?"

You rolled your eyes dramatically. "You act as if I'll move away for eternity. I did the same last summer, remember?"

"It's not the same."

You scoffed. "How so?"

"I didn't like you back then."

And here it was again. The fast beating of your heart, the weird sensation in your belly, and the lust in his eyes. You were convinced he was messing with you, so you only laughed it out. His stare, however, was still serious.

"I didn't expect you to feel the same." he managed a little laugh. "You know? Because you said you didn't fall for me... I know it's stupid, but I think..."

He stopped himself again. He wanted to be careful with his words. This might be had been the only chance he got to tell you this if he wasn't going to see you for months.

"I lied." you said in a small voice.

His eyes went big as he leaned closer to you, searching for any signs of uncertainty. "Did you?"

You nodded your head embarrassingly. "After that night, I don't know... It felt so natural when it happened and I couldn't understand how you were so gentle and attentive." You let out a chuckle. "I think I was scared to lose you if I told you the truth."

He huffed. "Or were you just scared of admitting you lost?"

"That too." you smiled. "I like you too, Binnie. I'm sorry for not being honest from the start."

"So am I."

He got the hint as you shifted closer to him to kiss you and he did in a hurry. Unlike the last time you were being this intimate, it felt like he was hungrier, more needy. You moved up on his lap, and he winced in pain.

"Sorry." you laughed.

"It's not that..."

Looking down, you understood easily what he meant by that. Smirking at him, you kissed him again as he grabbed you by the ass. Slowly, he made his way to kiss your neck, and then your collarbone. He sucked on the skin only to make you let out a gasp.

"This dress is no better than the skirt from the other day." he said, voice raspy. "But I rather see it on the floor."

You were damned. He had no right to have this much effect on you. Lost in the moment, you didn't respond before he started to tug the top of the dress down, the intention of making his way to your breast.

"Changbin?" you heard someone knocking at the door, a voice similar to Jeongin.

You grumbled curses as you got off of Changbin so he could get to the door. "What is it?" he asked once he opened the door.

"Party's gone wild a bit, and Chan and Sora are fighting in the kitchen."

"What?" you exclaimed, standing up. "They never fight."

Jeongin shrugged his shoulders. "You should really go take a look. And sorry, I didn't want to interrupt..." he trailed off.

"It's fine."

The three of you walked back to the living room and, indeed, people were going wild. You spotted Hwayoung who was grinding on a man while Jisung watched from afar, jaw clenched. You made your way to him while Changbin attempted to diffuse the tension Chan and Sora were building.

"Are you alright?" you asked the man as soon as you stood next to him.

"I literally came here to tell her about, well, I assume you know?" You nodded before encouraging him to continue. "I don't get her." he sighed before drinking from the bottle in his hand.

"Hwayoung truly loves you. Honestly, I think she's scared of things changing between you two. And tonight means nothing to her, I can tell you that."

He scoffed. "I guess I understand, but I can't always be that guy. The one who's around whenever she needs it."

"I get that."

Changbin soon joined you and he quickly placed a peck on your lips. Jisung watched the two of you before scoffing again.

"Alright, lovebirds. Rub it in my face."

Changbin chuckled. "We've only just confessed."

"Yeah, well, at least your girl isn't being a total idiot..." he muttered before walking away.

Changbin brought you closer by the waist, a grin displayed on his face. "My girl, uh?" he smirked.

"You like it a bit too much I think." you laughed.

He shook his head. "I'll worry about that later. I'd like to continue where we left off if you'd like it too."

He came close to kiss you again, this time deeper and in a more sensual way as he pulled away with biting your lower lip. "Fuck you, Seo."

"Say please?"

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @fairywriter-oracle | @xhazmania | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[evelhak]

📚

Since some people have evidently found my books through Tumblr despite of me not being very active on the Finnish side of it, I thought: why shouldn't I post about my books? It doesn't matter they are not available in English (yet, anyway) because I would be curious enough to read about stuff my mutuals do even if I couldn't read the actual material.

So, I plan to make a post about every book I write, do cover art for, or am otherwise involved with. Best case scenario is someone finds something new to read, worst case scenario is someone is bored.

This time, I'll introduce you to my debut novel:

☁️ Unitytöt ☁️

(dream girls)

Published: 2021 by Nysalor

Genre: New Adult, Fantasy, Slice of Life, LGBT+

Certainly not the first book that I wrote but this is my first published novel and my first cover project. ✨ I wrote this book in 2017 when I was about to graduate university, trying to juggle a full-time job as a mail carrier, nearly daily ballet training and writing both my original work and fanfiction which I also started doing the same year. The schedule turned out to be too much for my autistic brain and physical conditions. Regardless, I'm so happy I wrote this book!

It's a story about a technically bodiless creature, Venna, and a human, Aiju. Venna's species lives in people's heads or musical instruments because they need music to live. Venna is an outcast, and has been living in a wind chime to avoid people and their overwhelming array of feelings, which Venna's kind experiences directly in the human brain they are living in. Circumstances force Venna to move into the head of a young woman, Aiju, who is starting her studies at a temple (=a magic university). Unlike Venna's previous humans, Aiju can hear and feel Venna and is curious for, rather than scared of a new friend in her head. Aiju is also able to control and create elaborate dreamworlds where she and Venna can meet in their own separate forms. The two begin to live their life together, studying, enjoying music, maybe even falling in love when an older student is intrigued by Aiju's peculiar behaviour. It's a story about sharing a body and partially a mind, about merging, sense of self, neurodiversity and particularly sensitivity, and also abuse and healing. It's a slow love story, a fantastical exploration of the subconscious, a fantasy focused on characters and dreams that also touches on the larger context of the universe and existence.

I wrote this book because I had read many body sharing stories and was dissatisfied with the lack of portrayal of the ordinary every day experiences that would come with it, as well as I was with the ease with which body shifting creatures always seem to adapt to their new circumstances. I wanted to see more of the reality. I wrote this book because I had briefly introduced and later edited out a music eating demon in another fantasy story of mine, who possessed a girl and made her dance in a tavern until she fainted. I was curious what a story about a similar but gentle creature would be like. I wrote this book because themes of merging and separating your sense of self were relevant to me and I wanted to explore them through a fantastical world but also reality based concepts.

I was so much more nervous about the cover project than I was about actually publishing the story. I had zero experience apart from my personal cover doodles, no graphic design studies, and had only recently started learning Photoshop. Thankfully I'm still pretty happy with the cover, although there are technical details I would do differently. The most glaringly obvious one is the ginormous bar code. It was hard to tell how big it would actually look and my publisher had warned me not to make it too small, so I overdid it. My publisher is small so there are no resources to make test copies of the books, and it's due to the smallness of my publisher that I even had the opportunity to design the cover myself despite having no experience, just some visual skills.

I still like the cover art itself, the only problem which I did suspect back then too, is that in an attempt to make the cover dreamlike, it turned out a bit like children's literature. I was the only one who was worried about it, but in some libraries people have clearly thought this is aimed at 12-year-olds. I'm sure some of them would enjoy this, but it's a bit off. A lot of people have told me not to underestimate children, but it's not that I'm doing that, I'm simply aware that this book is not written in a way nor does it contain themes or life events that are relevant to very young people. It's a very psychological story and its issues are the most relevant to people in their late teens and early twenties. It's not that there's anything in this book that a 12-year-old couldn't handle, it's just going to be boring for most of them because it would be a lot to ask from a child's attention span to be interested in stuff they can't relate to for 400 pages. Even if many 12-year-olds still like to read about characters older than them, characters they can look up to, this book is written with people in mind who can relate to 20-year-olds. Of course there are exceptions. I probably would have loved this book as a 12-year-old. But I'm sure 90% of my peers would not have cared enough to finish it.

The cover seems to have done some of its job well too, because I know some people (adults) bought this book because they thought the cover was pretty, so that's good at least. Most of the feedback I've received has been really positive, the book seems to have found some of the readers it was clearly meant for. Some relevant criticism has also come my way and I believe I've learned some things since writing this book. The only really negative review I came across so far contained so many factual errors that it seemed the reviewer had been too busy to actually process the book. From that perspective it seems like the cover has also worked well enough to draw mostly the intended people towards the book.

The most memorable experience in its publication process was probably how it was chosen for an interview at the biggest national book fair by high school presentation/communication students who hold interviews on one of the stages there every year. It was such a good interview because the two students interviewing me clearly loved the book, related to it, and were excited to talk about it with me, and asked really thoughtful questions. I couldn't imagine a better first interview as an author. It was also the day the book officially came out. It was also my first time at that book fair (I don't often visit the capital) and I was the first author from my publisher to land an interview there, so I was really very nervous at first. I was unfortunately a COVID debut author so this was the only place I was able to present my book physically that year, which obviously affected its already marginal distribution. But it was such a lovely event for me that it is the more memorable for it.

I wish this book would find more readers who love dreamy, character driven and fairytale-esque fantasy. It's not without plot, mystery, or danger, but it's definitely not the best pick for someone who needs an epic, fast paced and world-shaking chain of events from their reading experience. This is for the other sensitive dreamers out there who just love to drown in characters, experiences and subtle magic, and would rather stop to contemplate it than to rush forward at all times.

[birgittesilverbae]

ok so. i know we're mostly just. glossing over why bea and lilith got divorced in the first place but. may i perhaps toss my hat into the ring as it were? perhaps it was a bit of a marriage of convenience? like they'd been friends forever and thought each other were hot and all, so why not date and then that went well and suddenly they were married and had a kid. and like. it was fine. but perhaps it wasn't really love anymore? like. they were still friends but there wasn't any desire to stay married, and (i believe the reason bea has primary custody hasn't been stated, but i've guessed that lilith travels for work based on literally nothing) so they just. got divorced. and now with ava in the equation being all very much in love with both of them they're seeing each other in a bit of a different light? and oh. Oh fuck why am i having feelings for my ex wife (sorry about this absolutely ridiculous ramble, it very much got away from me. feel free to ignore it lmao)

@random-french-girl and I went back and forth and ended up here:

tfw they're much better divorcees than they ever were wives, when they can be Extremely Capable under different roofs instead of under the same one

when Lilith isn't letting Bea down by putting work first and Bea isn't at Lilith's throat over the pettiest shit that has built itself up because she hasn't confronted it head on.

the two of them bringing the absolute WORST in each other. beatrice with all her Mentoring Instinct trying to tell lilith what to do and teach her how to do things and that always ends in the WORST fights... especially when it comes to Libby, "she's my daughter too, Bea, I know how to take care of her". lilith with her cutthroat ambition and need to prove herself The Best Most Valuable

but throw Ava in the mix and suddenly: Lilith has someone who literally could not give a shit about being the Best because Ava's self esteem has never been dependent on what other people think of her

and they're so careful to keep it out of their interactions with Libby directly but they can feel it starting to bleed through and they know they need to pull the ripcord before they damage Libby the way they're trying to hurt each other

this is when they decide to get a divorce - and why its amicable: when they both realise the situation is hurting their daughter, and they won't ever allow that

and it would be SO hard to be separate at first, because they have been in each other's lives/ each other's ONLY confidant for so long BUT. they're also soooo much... happier? freer? lighter? that they know it's the right thing to do, but it still continues to feel a bit out of balance until ava silva enters the ring

and then the casual touches with ava become casual touches with each other again and there are heated late night convos because whatever they do it has to last, they can't keep switching on and off when Libby's gonna be affected by whatever happens.

like it's all fun and games when it just involves the two of them trying to out-top ava (neither of them wins, btw. i guess ava is the winner in this scenario) but when it slowly sinks in that this affects their relationship and their child and they need to figure it out??

[noa-ciharu]

Stuff like this always make me laugh. Because at the end of the day:

Just what is "problematic ship"?

Now, on one side you have clearly messed up ships that involve incest, age gaps where one is a minor, grooming, any type of abuse, kidnapping etc. etc. - we all agree those are aspects that make ship "problematic"

But then, is ship between 20 and 30 year olds problematic? What if they've known each other for years but only started dating when younger one was 20? How about 25 and 45 year olds? How do I know someone with "dni if you ship problematic stuff" in bio won't bother me for something like that? How about 16 and 19? My best friend had that age gap with her bf back in the day, they're still together and one of healthiest couples I even had luck of knowing. And yet there are people online who adamantly insist such age gap make relationship inherently abusive cuz power imbalance induced by age difference. And yet I've seen a relationship between 15 and 18 year old where 18 year old guy had to escape from this possessive jealous irrational 15yo girl

What about all the action TV series or animes where characters are on opposite sides and tried to kill one another? Enemies to lovers trope? Or if just one side attempted to murder or harm other? That's still abuse right? Or if A murdered B's family member? Would you call shipper an apologist? Or if one of characters is a bigot? Is any fan automatically a bigot? What if two characters didn't have abusive relationships but mistreated someone else? What if they had a bad fallout and one character psychologically suffered because of indirect actions of another? Where is the line what amount of 'abuse' is tolerable in a ship?

What about those fandom made found family tropes where 'son' is 21 and 'mom' 29, do we get called pedos for shipping two adults that ain't even related but fandom views them as such? How about shipping characters that appear to be asexual or aromantic in canon? Do ace shippers get called aphobic for that? How about two characters that were shipped for years but only at the ending of the series author reveals they're related? Should we stop shipping them, delete all fics and arts of them? Or when both characters are 16 and there's fanart or fanfic of them doing something other than holding hands and kissing lightly (since y'know, kids those ages do experiment with each other irl)? Do we throw half of every shonen fandom for daring to ship underage characters? What about immortal characters? Who are they 'allowed' to get shipped with? Or if characters ages are never mentioned so we don't really know if they're around 17 or 23?

I could go on and on but naming every possible scenario isn't the point. Point is that for almost every ship in media that isn't made for small kids and isn't bland af there will be something "problematic" about the ship if you're persistent to dig deep enough. How do I know if you will? When I see "if you ship problematic ships dni" even if I don't have any ships that fit first category of ships I mentioned, I still don't know if you'd view one of "normal" ships I have as "problematic" because of xyz and attack me for that

[skenekidz]

Hey! Just saw this so sorry for the late response but wanted to respond. I am the “Unpopular Opinions” Person btw

OBVIOUSLY all the respect is meant. You are a genius <3 love your work, this is just some commentary

- Brennan IS a worse person than Killian because Killian really… doesn’t have THAT much agency in his life. Idk maybe I’m being too soft on him but I’ve always emphasized w/ children who make bad/objectively ambiguous decisions as the result of a turbulent life. Therefore, where Killian and Brennan made the SAME level of bad choices, Killian was genuinely a good person who was just trying to be a teenager/live his life in this “Fish out of Water” scenario he was put in. Brennan, meanwhile, came off like he had A LOT more agency and… strength, so to speak, not only in his own life but who he was in general. Therefore it’s a lot harder to excuse him for the stupid shit he puts himself in (like involving himself w/ the Principal’s son AND getting drawn into the bad/rebellious crowd, etc.). Therefore, Brennan is a worse person because generally those people (the reckless people who know they can make different, better choices and CHOOSE NOT TO), don’t tend to make the BEST decisions for their loved ones as well. Like I could see Brennan pulling some real dick behavior and causing shit for the people he cares for. Meanwhile, Killian? I highly doubt it. It’s the difference between “all bark but no bite” (Killian) and vice versa. One is just better.

- I agree on that! I’m just saying that IRL, the friends that stick will stick around. No amount of distance can TRULY crush any friendship. No doubt. Meanwhile… him relying on his friends as his family? Idk. There’s a difference between “My friends are my family” and “my friends can replace my family.” One is a MASSIVE cope and the other is just having close platonic/non-traditional family relationships. I still say Ireland would’ve given him time to grieve, properly, and become a more stable/stronger person. Just because something is harder to do doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice.

- They are healthier!! You’re so right. And yeah, Staz and Ethan are similar but not the same people BUT… Will ALWAYS gave me the wrong vibes. I don’t vibe w/ hypocrites, and he is a MASSIVE one, considering him and Jude are EXTREMELY alike (Will just have the advantage of not having a horrible relationship w/ his Mother, otherwise I GUARANTEE he would’ve made similar if not the same choices). HOWEVER, the dynamics are EERILY similar. Two soft boys from subtly troubled homes change the perspective of two much more damaged, aggressive boys? Yeah, apologies if this wasn’t the correct read in the slightest, but both couples sort of gave me those vibes tbh. Although not ENTIRELY, clearly, as they are both complex enough to not be carbon copies (I realized this might’ve been insulting and so sorry if it is. I’m not trying to say that at all, they just follow the same TROPES.)

- You were an EXCELLENT writer (I mean your characters than were ten times more complex than mine are NOW), I just think the plot needed the characters to do what it needed them to do and there wasn’t a lot of time for diversions. Also, it really isn’t your fault if they were “a nightmare.” Hollywood/etc. LOVES the dysfunctional friendships. Just look at Riverdale! White Lotus (if you need a more updated example)! Gossip Girl! Literally any superhero movie. It’s just more fun for friends to sort of hate each others guts, unfortunately. ESPECIALLY in Young Adult media. Benji is still a bad friend to Ethan and Gideon tho… I will DIE on this hill (plus Sonnet and Ethan are the platonic soulmates we never got to see).

And that’s it! Thank you so much for your time!! I hope I never veered into disrespectful or rude while writing this. I feel like I did at multiple points so if I have, I am extremely sorry, clearly not my intention. I have a HUGE amount of respect to you and obviously, these are tour books, I just was curious to see if you would hate these tbh. All the love <3 Have a great day/evening!!!!

Cheers :)

This was super respectfully worded and I really appreciate the perspective! As the writer, it's sometimes hard for me to imagine how things can be interpreted differently than I intend, so I appreciate these kinds of honest perspectives. It gives me a lot to consider when writing in the future! Thanks for sharing! :)

[ahatintimestorybook]

Hopes and Friendships Chap. 20-A Witch's First Day of School

Hey guys! I’ve been on a roll this month with fanfics! Getting this one worked on after RHPC and while working on Indie Kids, which I also finished.

Thanks to @gigilefache for being my beta reader!!

Enjoy!

~~~~

It was the first day of school. Mu looked at herself in the mirror wearing the outfit Luka and Harriet had bought for her during their shopping trip. She sighed in disappointment and sadness knowing that she would be entering a new school that doesn’t involve magic.

Many anxious scenarios played her head as she trotted downstairs to have breakfast with Harriet and Luka. What if magic just somehow happens?  What if no one likes her? Not wanting to show her nervousness Mu took a deep breath and gave a smile as she approached the kitchen.

“Morning!” Mu beamed.

“Morning Mu, how did you sleep?” Harriet asked.

“I slept okay, thanks for asking,” Mu replied as she sat down next to her best friend. Luka placed a plate of waffles topped with berries and whipped cream in front of Mu. She smiled in delight. 

Taking her fork, Mu sliced a bit of the waffle and took a bite out of it. She smiled seeing it tasted sweet, and kept on eating. 

“Is it good? It’s my dad’s secret recipe.” Harriet mentioned. Mu nodded and kept on eating.

“You're gonna need your appetite for your first day of school.”  Luka mentioned as he prepared the girls lunches.

“So any questions about human school you’d like to know?” Harriet asked.

Mu thought which questions would be good to ask as there were far too many questions she had in mind. “How are human world schools different from magic schools?” Mu asked.

“Well to start, no magic and no crazy teachers that want to kill us,” Harriet mentioned. Mu sighed, but Harriet wasn’t sure if that was a sigh of relief for no evil teachers or a sigh of sadness for a lack of magic.”But, you’re in the same class with me.”

Mu’s eyes widened. “Really?” She asked. Harriet nodded. “But how? Is that not difficult to achieve?” She asked.

“Dad has a way!” Harriet replied.

“I won’t say who, but your teacher this year was an old friend of mine. I told them how we took in an exchange student from another country and to make sure you're not separated they put you in their class.” Luka explained.

Mu felt a wave of relief wash over her. She wouldn't be separated from her best friend. Once she and Harriet were done eating they grabbed their lunches and backpacks, but before they could leave Moonjumper and Boss looked at the girls hoping to come along with them.

“Sorry guys, you have to stay home with Dad.” Harriet told them.

“Aww…” Moonjumper sighed looking down.

Boss sighed in relif. “Good. I’ll just relax.” He replied as he went to Harriet’s bed and slept.

Moonjumper then latched himself on to Harriet and gave his partner the biggest puppy dog eyes. “Come on, can we please go with you?” He asked.

“You’ll be fine at home. Dad will take care of both of you.” Harriet told him.

“I can be a plush toy! I’m good at it!” Moonjumper explained.

“I’m sorry Moon, but don’t worry. I’ll be back home soon.” Harriet gave Moonjumper a hug and put down. “See you later!” She beamed, grabbing Mu’s hand as they ran out of the house too. They made their way along their path, Mu smiled and laughed, trying to catch up to Harriet’s speed.

Once they made it to Starshine Elementary, Mu became starstruck at how big the school was. “This is your school?” Mu asked.

“Yep!” Harriet replied. She smiled as the two saw a green and blue blur running by, “And here’s one of my closest friends!” She beamed. Mu saw a girl around their age come running down before them. Jumping at Harriet and giving her a big hug.

The girl had dark skin, dark brown curly hair tied with a light blue ribbon, purple eyes and wore a green blouse with a light blue skirt, along with white cat socks and black boots. “Harriet! I missed you!” The girl beamed.

Harriet giggled. “I missed you too Brandy.”

“How was your summer?” Brandy asked.

Harriet giggled. “You could say it was magical,” she replied.

Brandy giggled. She turned to Mu. “Who’s your new friend?” 

“Oh right, Brandy this is Emily, or Mu as she likes to be called. She’s an exchange student dad and I took in over the summer.” Harriet explained, going along with the story her dad told her. “Mu this is Brandy, we’ve been friends since Kindergarten.”

“N-nice to meet you.” Mu replied, stuttering a bit.

Brandy giggled. “Hi there, any friend of Harriet is a friend of mine!” She beamed, taking Mu’s hand.

Mu was nervous to reply but managed to give a warm yet shaky chuckle. Harriet nudged her witch friend and gave a wink. “If you like me, you’ll definitely like Brandy. She's really cool and fun.” Harriet mentioned. 

Brandy giggled. “Guess what, Harriet,” she asked. “I’m in the same class as you this year!” 

Harriet squealed. “That’s great,” she beamed, “the three of us should sit together!”

“You read my mind!” Brandy replied. With that Harriet grabbed Mu’s hand as the girls went inside the classroom.

Once inside, Harriet and Brandy reunited with all their classmates and started to talk about their summer together. “So Harriet,” Brandy whispered, “tell me about your magical summer.”

Harriet nodded. “A lot has happened you see-“ Harriet was then cut off by the bell meaning class was about to start. “I’ll tell you at lunch.”

Once everyone was in class, the teacher came in. Harriet’s eyes widened as she recognized her from previous interactions. The teacher wore a light blue dress, brown pants and black shoes. Her rose red hair was tied into a side braid. She faced the class with a bright smile on her face.

“Good morning, and welcome back!” The teacher said happily. “I’m Miss. Rose, I’ll be your 5th grade teacher for this year!” 

Harriet quickly got up from her seat. “It’s nice to meet you W-I mean Miss. Rose!” She blurted out.

Miss. Rose giggled. “Harriet, I know your dad knows me, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get special treatment to call me by my full name.” She explained. 

The class giggled, which made Harriet laugh alongside them, just a tad more embarrassed, as she sat back down. “Sorry, sorry, I’m just excited for this year that’s all.” She explained.

“Well, it seems like you guys did have a nice, long, exciting break.” Miss. Rose explained. “So as a starter, why don’t we spend this morning getting to know each other before you guys go meet with the elective teachers.” The class agreed. “Alright, to start, why doesn’t the exchange student take the lead.” She said pointing to Mu.

The witch knew the teacher was talking about her and stood up nervously from her seat. “Uh… hi… I’m Emily, but I like to be called Mu.” She started. “It’s nice to meet you all.” Mu sat down and sighed in relief.

The class smiled, which made Mu smile. “Feel better?” Harriet whispered. Mu nodded and the two listened to the rest of their class each talk about themselves and their favorite moments about summer.

After a while, it was Brandy’s turn to speak. “Well, I’m Brandy, and my summer was alright. I got to visit my aunt in the city.” She explained.

She then looked at Harriet giving her a turn to speak up. “I’m Harriet Kidd, and during my summer I-“

“Was stuck in your fantasy world again?” A young boy asked, causing his little group to laugh.

“No!” Harriet snapped. “I was-“

“Pretending to be a witch!” Another boy in that same group cut Harriet off, which started to get the class except Mu and Brandy, to laugh.

Harriet went quiet and sat back down, but Mu was angry and she got up. “She and her dad visited me!” Mu yelled, getting the class quiet. “Harriet and her dad went traveling and I met them! That’s why I’m here!” Mu yelled. Harriet looked up at Mu and smiled seeing her friend stand up for her. Even if what Mu said wasn’t true it was something better than what she could’ve come up with.

“And don’t you pick on Harriet, Dylan!” Miss. Rose pointed to one of the boys. “I heard from your 4th grade teacher about your behavior towards her and others. I will not tolerate it.” Miss. Rose explained.

Dylan groaned and crossed his arms. Mu glared knowing Dylan would be on her nerves and looked at Harriet before whispering in her ear. “If you need me to get back at him let me know.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” Harriet whispered back as the two girls giggled.

The rest of class was normal and uneventful. Afterwards, the students got to visit all of the elective classes for the year. Mu was excited to try out all the classes. During the tour, Harriet kept on getting bumped and teased by Dylan, who would later act all innocent when someone else looked at him. 

Mu glared and had her wand hidden under her sleeves when she whispered a spell that caused Dylan to trip on his shoelace and fall on his face, causing everyone to laugh. Mu smirked and Harriet looked up with a smile. 

“You're horrible,l Mu.” Harriet whispered and snickered.

“I was just born that way.” Mu replied, giving a shrug. The girls giggled as they walked back to their classroom to work on their lessons for the day.

Since it was only the first day of school, the lessons were simple, so at times the kids asked Mu questions about her old school, and her life.

“So what kind of school did you go to before coming here?” One girl asked.

“A private school,” Mu replied.

“Have any friends? I’d love to meet them.” A young boy asked.

“Yep! I have a few, plus Harriet.” Mu answered, giving a nod.

Harriet smiled seeing Mu was adjusting well with everyone. She then felt a tap on her shoulder which made her turn towards Brandy. “I have a question about Mu, can I ask you very quickly?” She whispered.

“Sure what is it?” Harriet asked. Brandy leaned in Harriet’s ear and whispered her question. Harriet reacted with a cat-like smile. “Ask her at lunch. I won’t say.” She replied. Brandy smiled and gave a nod.

Lunch rolled around and Mu, Harriet and Brandy sat down at a table away from the rest of the kids. “This is where Brandy and I usually sit.” Harriet explained. 

Once the group was seated, Brandy didn’t hesitate to ask her a question. “You're a witch are you?” Brandy asked. 

Mu spit out her drink in surprise and coughed. “N-no!” She yelled. “What makes you say that?”

Harriet sighed. “Mu, remember when I said you’ll like Brandy?” She asked. Mu turned to her friend. “Well Brandy also likes magic like I do, so she’s safe to tell her you're a witch.”

Mu sighed feeling relieved. “Well to answer your question; yes I am a witch.”

Brandy’s smile widened and she hugged Mu tightly. “That is so cool!” Brandy beamed. “What kinds of magic can you do? Do you have a cat? I know witches have cats! Ooh tell me tell me!” Brandy was so excited as she wanted to know everything about Mu, the real Mu..

Mu chuckled. “Okay, okay. I can show you the magic after school. I do have a cat named Boss, he keeps me in line most of the time.” She explained.

“He’s also cuddly.” Harriet added. 

Brandy giggled in reply. “I’m guessing you didn’t travel to another country, but a witch world?” She asked, looking at Harriet.

Harriet nodded. “Yep! Speranza.” She replied. “Plus I even found clues about my mom.”

“That’s amazing!” Brandy beamed in reply. “So is she home safe?”

Harriet frowned and shook her head. Brandy frowned in reply knowing it wasn’t good news. “Turns out my grandma, who is also the headmistress, took her away from me and turned her into a monster.” Harriet explained.

Brandy frowned and hugged her friend. “I’m sorry, Harriet.” She said, before turning to Mu. “I guess you got stuck here too?” Mu nodded. 

“So now we’re trying to find a way to get back to Speranza to save my mom!” Harriet beamed.

Brandy smiled. “Um…if you want, I can help.” 

“How can you help?” Mu asked.

“I have a lot of magic-esq stuff at my house.” Brandy answered. “Maybe there’s something I have that could help.”

Mu and Harriet smiled seeing they were slowly making progress. “Alright. We’ll go!” Mu answered.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Yes.

British sitcoms have a lot more of what I call "bunkmate banter" scenes where you will just have two or more characters bickering with each other or sharing hilarious anecdotes. I call it that based on the show Red Dwarf where most of the best scenes, especially in the early episodes when the budget is tighter, are when the two leads are sharing bunkbeds and just talking to each other. Father Ted, Vicar of Dibley, Only Fools, Mighty Boosh etc - they all have their silly slapstick moments but most of the charm comes from the scenes where you just have the characters talking.

American comedies are more "situation" based, some unexpected scenario happens and the comedy comes more from watching the characters handle it and the slapstick that follows. Don't get me wrong, US sitcoms can have funny conversation scenes too - Friends, Seinfeld, Golden Girls and Frasier being the most obvious - but even then it tends to feel a bit more fast paced while British comedies feel a bit more laid back - though that might be my bias talking, I grew up with a lot more of the British shows and they feel more relaxed and nostalgic to me. But this does sum up the different vibes of the two Ghosts shows.

I love that more ideas are explored in the US version. Given the shared involvement from the producers, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the things we see happen in the US version where originally ideas for the British show but were never used because of lack of time. UK comedies tend to only be six episodes a series while obviously with a dozen or twenty that's a lot more time to focus on plot as well as funny banter. I wish we'd got to see Alison do some of the things Sam does like see if the ghosts of her parents are around, or the whole thing about some kids seeing ghosts as imaginary friends (they do this with a baby but I prefer how it's done with the revelation of Thor and Hetty's past), I wish we'd got to see Mike bond with the ghosts the same way Jay does. One thing I am glad about is that possession was never explored in the UK version but that's just a personal squick.

But on the other hand the UK version will always be my favorite because they do focus more on the history of the characters and their (platonic) relationships with each other. I would disagree about character development being undone. The characters have definitely developed more from where they started out due to opening up more to each other. Captain is not the same "prat" who was totally on board with murder in S1, not to mention his slow but sure Coming Out. Robin has gone from scaring people just to stop himself going mad with boredom to confronting his trauma to save Mike and being ready to accept moving on. Mary coming out of her shell lead beautifully into her moving on. Thomas learns to be humble by crediting the poem to Fanny and learning what it means to be appreciated by those around him, not just for his poems. Not to mention Alison coming to appreciate more what she really wants from a family rather than just a project to make money or a long lost blood relative. There are gut punching funny lines in the US version too but no interaction between the cast members gives me the same warm fuzzies as watching Captain and Kitty or Robin and Julian or just any of them when put together. Friendship moments in the US version are cute but then in S2 it feels like they shift more with pairing the ghosts off into romantic couples and I'm just not a fan of that.

Tldr, yeah, different styles but both have their strengths and weaknesses. I'm rewatching the US version at the moment and am glad the jokes still land on rewatch. It's a nice fluffy salve until the UK Christmas special rips my heart apart.

So one thing I’ve kinda noticed about both Ghosts series is the pacing. Like, both have good pacing, it just goes in such different directions.

The US Ghosts has fairly normal pacing from my (American) point of view, but the UK version seems so stagnant. Like, the ghosts have no real agency and are just at the mercy of the universe; moving on is random, who becomes a ghost is random, not everyone gets a ghost power, ect. The only ghost with a real goal that is worked towards is the Captain and that’s never really externalized.

The UK series focuses more on the ghosts’ pasts and how they got there, and there is no future, meanwhile with the US series it’s the opposite. Most of the ghosts have specific goals and externalized character arcs. While all progress done in the UK series is typically undone by the end of each season, the US version very clearly moves forward and is more future oriented, which is typical for American shows.

Don’t get me wrong, I love both, and neither pacing is wrong or bad writing, but I just find this curious. Is UK Ghosts pacing typical for British sitcoms? Are they usually so reflective and past-oriented?

[dancingamongstdust]

MHA Scenarios - First Meeting (Part 4)

Requests are still open as of this post.

Shigaraki

You hadn’t meant to cause that level of destruction. It was an accident.

But they hadn’t seen it that way.

Their words followed you even when they could not. You could hear the accusations ringing in your head whenever you used your quirk – for better, or for worse. It became easier to ignore as you slowly learned to stop caring.

Until your quirk went out of control again.

You woke up in a dark room with a pounding headache and exhausted limbs. The doctor who was looking after you (a man you were relatively certain had no actual medical knowledge) had gotten very close and asked how much you remembered. When you informed him that it wasn’t much, he had smiled.

“Well, you certainly drew attention to yourself,” he had laughed. “Perhaps you should consider yourself lucky that the heroes didn’t get to you first.”

“I guess so…”

Something warned you that this situation was more dangerous than it seemed. Your eyes drifted over the covered windows of the room and you stared at the door. “Why did you help me?”

“Well that’s hardly for me –“

He didn’t get a chance to answer before you dashed for the exit. The doctor’s quirk didn’t allow him to grab you and his alarmed shout was all you heard before you were darting down the hallway. You weren’t going to stick around and get experimented on.

You turned the corner, heart pounding in your chest. They must have given you something because you felt drowsy. The entire world was spinning.

But you had to nearly trip yourself up to avoid running directly into somebody as you sprinted down a different hallway.

This was hardly your first time dealing with villains and many of them had odd quirks, to say the least. It shouldn’t have shocked you to see somebody with a human hand on their face but maybe the medication was lowering your tolerance because it was terrifying.

“Who are you?” you snapped out, immediately on the defense. You took a step away, ready to run or fight, whichever seemed easiest.

The man didn’t seem too bothered by your snap at least; the one eye that you could see watched you steadily from behind his hand mask. “I’m sure you’re not meant to be running around here,” he said. “But you’re no hero so you must be here for your quirk. Do you still have it?”

Your heart skipped a beat.

It wasn’t unknown in the underground that there was a man who stole quirks he liked. Nobody knew what he did with them but it wasn’t unheard of for villains to wake up with nothing. And you would never get them back.

You could feel your quirk was still there. It pulsed under your skin like a warning.

“My quirk?” you repeated. “I have my quirk.”

You did a random gesture, summoning all of your past acting experience to appear horrified when nothing happened. Again and again you tried before looking around in shock and horror.

The guy bought it and he shrugged. “Then there’s no reason to stop you.” He brushed past you and continued walking. “Not like you could find the exit anyway.”

The moment he turned the corner, you dropped the act and bolted again. This place was a maze but you found the exit and avoided any encounters with a practiced ease. Before leaving, you looked back up at the building and grimaced, hoping to never see it again.

Toga

It was late at night when you had the strangest encounter of your life. Not that that was a bad thing necessarily but it was something that occurred, nevertheless.

You had been feeling quite exhausted from a long day of fun with your friends. They had headed off to get a cab when you had realised that you needed the bathroom and disappeared to go find one.

There was a public toilet not too far from the street though it certainly wasn’t as clean as you would have hoped. Not to be deterred, you slipped in and found a sight that, even to your exhausted mind was uncomfortable.

A girl stood in front of one of the mirrors, blood staining much of her face. It covered the counter beneath her fingers and seemed to be coming from her lip.

“Are you okay?!” you asked, panicked.

She looked up at you, startled. Her dark hair covered much of her expression but she seemed a little out of it. Maybe she got hit on the head or something.

“I –“ she paused, her voice croaky and sore. She brought her hand up to rub her throat. “I think so.”

“Just wait, let me help you,” you said. You rushed into one of the stalls and gathered up some toilet paper. “Do you need me to call somebody or?”

“No,” she said quickly. “No. Thank you.”

You offered some of the damp tissue to her and she started wiping it away from her mouth. While she dealt with that, you cleaned the blood that she had left on the counter, making sure to get it out of all the cracks in and around the sink. “What happened to you?” you asked. “Did somebody attack you?”

“I slipped,” she said. “The tiles are really slippery and I think that I hit my mouth on the sink. It’s all kind of blurry.”

“Don’t worry,” you said, digging through your bag and grabbing some headache tablets. You offered the bottle to her. “Take two of those just in case. Even if it doesn’t hurt now, you don’t want to wake up with a headache tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Do I still have any blood on me?”

“Just on your jaw,” you pointed out. “Come on, my friends and I are getting a cab. We can call one for you also if you need.”

She took one last glance in the mirror before leaving. You had forgotten your own need for the bathroom and it was for good reason also. If you had hung around for a little longer, you may have seen blood trickling out from one of the stalls. Perhaps then you wouldn’t have been so worried about this stranger hitting her head.

“What’s your name?” you asked as you looked around for your friends.

“Toga,” the girl said, though she didn’t seem too happy with having told you. The words must have slipped out without her meaning to.

You gave her your own name and went up onto your toes to look around the crowd for your friends. Eventually you spotted them and waved but when you spoke to Toga, she didn’t respond.

She had disappeared into the crowd.

You went back into the bathroom and checked but she was long gone. Just like how the blood has escaped your notice earlier, you didn’t see the blonde watching you from the other side of the street, her head tilted a little.

Dabi

It was a rare day when you found yourself alone without at least one person to watch your back. You didn’t always need the protection but sometimes, it was nice to have.

But you had given your word and it wouldn’t do to back out of this now.

The building where everything had been organised was old and crumbling – its ancient nature hidden on the outskirts of the city and slowly becoming overtaken by countless plants. It wasn’t somewhere anybody with good intentions would find themselves.

You liked to think that your work was good. It benefitted many and took only from those who could afford to lose it. Unfortunately though, rules had to be broken for the best results, and sometimes what was classified as ‘wrong’ turned out to be needed in order to achieve a goal. It wasn’t quite in line with what you believed but it had to be done.

Did working with villains make you uncomfortable? Of course. But it was hardly going to be something that stopped you from moving forward.

The two members from the League of Villains that had been sent to meet you were both men. You didn’t bother with greetings, just holding up the briefcase that you held.

“I’m looking for a specific artwork,” you said. “I’ve been told that you might be able to help?”

“An artwork?” the one asked. He wore a white and black mask that concealed most of his face and an extremely gaudy costume.

“Not just an artwork,” you explained. “It has something of mine hidden in the canvas. Normally, I would just get the police involved but if they found it, it would be quite problematic for me. The group that stole it won’t listen to many but the League of Villains, I’m afraid. They have a few good quirks and they’re extremely cocky for it.”

“We’re not lapdogs,” the other man said. “Especially not for whatever agenda you’re pushing.”

“I don’t pay lapdogs,” you acknowledged. “Consider me a sponsor.”

Flames cackled into existence in his hand, surprising his colleague enough to jump a little. “Chances are, they’ve already found your thing. Even if they haven’t, the league can hardly go around picking fights with random gangs.”

“Shigaraki did ask –“

The masked man was cut off by a glare. Blue flames sent flickering light through the air as they waited patiently for your answer.

“If it’s already been discovered or if it happens to get damaged during the process, then I don’t plan on getting anything out of our deal. It’ll simply be a loss on my side.”

The flames slowly flickered out and you allowed yourself to breathe again. Confidence was a requirement for these deals but you didn’t quite have the nerves of steel that you portrayed. It was always a fight to keep your reactions in check.

“I guess if we happen to bump into the group, we can check around for your shit.”

You knew his bluff as well as your own. The League of Villains had always worked well with those who had money. They required funding and wouldn’t say no to being able to flex their reputation around the underground. It was almost needed with the way rumours were circulating.

It was less than a week after that encounter when you found your artwork sitting outside your home. Charred on the edges, it was damaged enough to make the art itself worthless. But your items inside were perfectly unharmed.

Not bad for your first time working alongside the League of Villains. It was worth the cost… you should do it more in the future.

Twice

When you had been called in for this job, you had no idea that it was going to turn into a fight of the magnitude you experienced.

Flames tore along the streets. They melted lamps and trapped hundreds inside buildings – the screams for help becoming almost deafening as you broke down yet another wall to get civilians out. It was the third building you had had to smash into and there were more yet.

Nobody could get out and, if they remained trapped, they wouldn’t survive much longer.

When your partner and you had realised you were dealing with the League of Villains, you had immediately called in the big guns. What you hadn’t realised was that doing so would result in a brawl of sorts in the streets. The League of Villains didn’t care about collateral and honestly, sometimes you wondered if the heroes did.

You were starting to overheat. The amount of fire swirling around was getting to you, drawing the breath from your lungs and slowing your movements. Its angry blue nature hinted at its abysmal nature.

The next building’s walls took even longer to get through but you managed it and a few people scrambled out. You ushed as best as you could although it was starting to get hard to speak.

But then you noticed a dark figure lying in one of the rooms

Outside, the fire roared and smacked against the walls but you couldn’t just leave somebody there. You stepped over the rubble and made your way to the figure.

It was hard to make out details with the flames. The heat seemed to be getting worse as you approached – soon identified as being caused by the gaping hole in the wall. It radiated around the room in waves. You covered your mouth and nose the best you could, creeping forward to reach where the person was.

When you arrived, it took you no time to recognise that you weren’t saving an unfortunate civilian but rather a member of the League itself.

You hesitated for a second before hooking your arms under his and beginning to drag him away from the danger. This was the type of thing that lost reputation for heroes. Civilians didn’t like seeing villains being rescued but you honestly didn’t care.

If he was left there, he was probably going to end up dying.

Though he had seemed unconscious, when you got him out of the building, he muttered something and moved. It was enough to make you jump back but he didn’t attack or anything. He just touched his face and then let his arm go limp again.

You moved back cautiously. His suit had been ripped on the one side, missing its arm and half of the torso. You checked his pulse, relieved to feel that it was still going, even if it was unsteady.

“Can you hear me?” you asked.

He didn’t respond and you reached up to remove his mask. His hand immediately snapped up to grab your wrist and you prepared to activate your quirk but all he did was push your arm away from his face.

Alright then. No touching the mask.

You bandaged the open wound on his side as best as you could. It looked like he had gotten launched through the building. Once he was as stable as he could be, you moved him to a safer area and jumped back into the fray. A ton of rescues later and the heroes had won, at the destruction of much property.

And, rather unsurprisingly, the villain you had saved was long gone.

Overhaul

There was a new drug running around the market. You had heard of a number of small-time villains taking it – most of them dying shortly after consumption. It wasn’t unheard of. If something had even the promise of a good time then it would attract thousands.

But what was a problem was that you had lost several of your newest underlings as a direct result of this drug.

Given how picky you were about hiring, this was going to be a problem.

You tracked the source to none other than the Shie Hassaikai. They were an old branch of the yakuza, sitting on the edge of a downward spiral into irrelevance. Rumors followed that their boss had fallen quite ill and now, it was only a matter of time until they fell completely on their faces.

So you didn’t feel too nervous when you approached the house that fronted their main base. Even with the members watching you from the bushes, you kept a straight line.

You weren’t unknown. It would do them a great disservice to attack you.

And they knew it.

You walked in the front door with absolutely no resistance and remained unsurprised when two masked men came out to greet you. They didn’t ask about your business or enquire as to who you were. Instead, they led you into a sitting room and gestured for you take a seat.

Instead of that, you walked around the room and picked up everything that looked interesting. Nothing was hidden around but you hadn’t expected there to be.

“Please don’t touch things without gloves on,” a smooth voice interrupted your curiosity. “Cleaning this entire house is rarely needed and I’d rather you didn’t change that.”

You turned around to find somebody considerably younger than you had expected for the head of the Shie Hassaikai. He wore their signature mask and a feathered coat, almost his entire body hidden in some way.

“Not a fan of germs?” you enquired.

“Not at all.”

You shrugged and made your way to the couch, sinking down into it. “Guess that means no drinks or anything? Oh well, that’s too bad.” You gestured for him to sit.  “So, you’re not who I was expecting.”

“You’ve never worked with our organisation before,” he said, sitting on the edge of the chair opposite you.

“No. You’re not in the same line of work as me and I don’t care too much about the Yakuza.”

“Then why are you here?”

You straightened, aware that you were about to get into the most dangerous part of the meeting. “Your drugs have been getting into my areas. Now, I don’t care all too much about how you distribute stock but it’s not just coming into possession of low-life criminals. My men are getting practically gifted it.”

His eyes narrowed. “We need to test it somehow. Besides, that sounds like a problem for you, no? Have better control of your men.”

“Keep your test tube shit out of my territories.”

A small staring contest took place – a test to see who would break first. You had been in almost a hundred of these over the course of your career. They didn’t bother you much at all in anymore.

Eventually he waved his hand through the air. “I guess we could stop supply to traders in your areas but this isn’t a charity.”

“I could kill your men.”

“But you would lose your own in the process. Wouldn’t it be easier to do this the peaceful way and maybe even establish a relationship between our two groups?”

“You have my attention. Don’t waste it.”

Kurogiri

There are those days when everything begins so well only to rapidly spiral into a situation out of your worst dreams. This was something like that.

You had gotten horribly caught in the crossfire of a battle between heroes and villains. It all occurred faster than you could have ever imagined – flashes of light and explosions of sound. People were screaming, the sound coming through a haze as you tried to get a grasp on what had happened.

Blood was trickling down your arm but you felt no pain. You slowly lifted your head. Something had hit you, you remembered that now as your brain caught up to the dull ache coming from your ribcage.

You tried to move, finding that you couldn’t. The ache became worse and a heavy, scraping sound interrupted your attempts to crawl away.

It was a piece of concrete, heavy and painful, pinning you effectively to the ground. A smaller chunk was holding it up and stopping you from being crushed. But if you moved too much…

You forced yourself to take a deep breath, nearly choking on the dust that filled the air. Maybe if you shifted slowly.

A crunching noise made you hiccup.

Alright, so that wasn’t going to work either. You strained your eyes to see through the carnage but you couldn’t make out any heroes. They would come eventually; you just had to wait patiently and try not to move too much.

The concrete seemed to get heavier still and you fought the desire to cry.

There was a crunching sound. You couldn’t just wait around.

Slow as you dared, you began to inch forward. The rough surface snagged at your clothing and made every centimeter feel like it was going to end with you crushed. Worse still, the more you moved, the more apparent the injury on your back became.

The blood that had been trickling down your arm was now creeping along your torso. It pooled in your clothes and made everything sticky.

You tried not to think about it but it made you light-headed regardless.

About half-way out, you spotted somebody nearby. It was just their silhouette but still, relief flooded your veins and you cried out desperately for help.

The figure made its way over to you, soon revealing that the man was almost entirely made of smoke. He wore a suit and tie but his body swirled as though only somewhat solid. Bright yellow eyes stared at you – any emotion behind them was completely unreadable.

His eyes traced your shape. “You’re not who I’m looking for.”

“Please help me. This thing’s going to crush me.”

He paused, the swirling darkness that made up his face shuddered as though it was unsure how to respond. “I should leave you here,” he mentioned. “You’re of no consequence to me or to my cause. If anything, I should add pressure to the piece of rubble and make sure the fatality numbers are higher.”

You caught of whimper before it could escape. “Please.”

His smoke shook again, almost as though he was struggling to keep hold of it. Then he raised a foot and placed it on the concrete.

You screwed your eyes shut and tried to imagine the best parts of life.

A loud horn blaring made you open them again and a surprised yelp escaped as you saw tires race past in front of you. People were shouting, their voices loud and nearby. Bright lights surrounded you and the air was clear once more.

The last thing you remembered seeing was a panicked nurse rushing over to you.

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[interact-if]

Day 2 of Pride Month interviews! You know them, you love them…. give it up for Ames!

Ames, author of Attollo and Metamorphosis

Pride Month Featured Authors

“…and it was a singular, terrible thought, which burrowed itself into your mind like an engorged maggot. This was not a man nor a monster. This was a concept, an ideology, a terrible myth, which had personified itself to stand before you now.You were, to put it simply, screwed.”

After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend.

Too bad it’s never so simple.

Demo: Attollo, Metamorphosis (TBA)

Tags: cybernoir, thriller

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

Attollo is a cyber-noir horror set in a walled city off the coast of the Atlantic that’s been a victim of a nuclear disaster. After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend. Too bad it’s never so simple. Attollo is a 17+ game that deals with heavy topics and a lot of moral questioning; from cults to corrupt government, it has no shortage of monsters in the dark—both metaphorical and literal.

Metamorphosis is a crime/horror story based in the world of crime scene cleanup, where there are three simple steps: Get the call, clean the scene, and don’t ask too many questions. These are the rules that you live by under the employment of Noctua’s Crime Scene Services, and you credit them for keeping you alive.

However, after a routine house call brings forth nightmares of memories that are not your own, you find yourself pulled deeper into Noctua—a city of both monster and man—in a bid to find out the truth behind the murder of Deirdre Callow, and better yet, how her memories came to be yours. Your job mandates that you don’t dig too deep—but could this finally be the exception?

Metamorphosis is 18+ and will have explicit content; follow the last moments of a stranger to find out not only who took her life, but how this connects to the underbelly that Noctua works so hard to hide.

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Lmaoo, oh man. I think it really all began last summer when I first found examples of interactive fiction. I don’t even remember how I came across it, it might’ve been that I saw it mentioned in a post or I saw it as a tag on Itch.io, but at some point, last summer I began to investigate it more. I think what really drew me in was the ability for the player to control the narrative; it was like playing an old RPG, but modernized, and the fact that I could see a story unfold that was influenced by my decisions was so fascinating to me. Not to mention that IF allows so much more character depth than regular novels, in my opinion.

I’m 99% sure my first exposure to interactive fiction was through the game Crème de la Crème (a fantastic game, by the way) and I just enjoyed it so much that I went haywire for the genre. Then Temple of the Endless Night came out (another fantastic game that I’m looking forward to!), and that was really the turning point for inspiring me to give it a go. Now, almost a year later, here I am working on my own two games!

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

My bisexuality doesn’t have much of a major influence on the game, but I do think it contributed to the way that I view and write relationships. I figured out my sexuality around high school (I kissed a girl in high school and found out I liked it just as much as when I kissed a boy) and since then I’ve been very involved in the LGBTQ+ community of both my hometown and uni town.

I think this involvement, like being able to hear about other people’s experiences and share my own, has made me feel a lot more comfortable writing some of the characters in the game. Although Attollo and Metamorphosis both don’t focus heavily on relationships (both have murder in them, which I feel is a bit more pressing), I do keep the option for any RO’s to be romanced by anyone, regardless of gender or preference, because that’s simply what I’ve become so attuned to. In terms of side characters relationships as well, I think my involvement and my own experiences have allowed me to write far more diverse relationships than I might have, and I think that this has also allowed a more fulfilling experience for players when reading through.

I also have incorporated some struggles that I’ve faced before because of my identity into the games. For example, I and a few others have faced issues with religion due to who we are, and I incorporate this into both games. Dreamwalker, Pariah, and Sysba from Attollo all have shadows of this experience in their character origins, and Ilali and Ariston from Metamorphosis has a major point involving identity and beliefs. Both games also have undertows of ostracization and division between groups, which is also something I’ve experienced in the past. Being able to grapple these moments and control them via a narrative has been eye opening for both myself and others involved, and I’m hoping it can be a learning experience for the readers as well.

Q4: What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction?

I think, now, the amount of progress in LGBTQ+ fiction is expanding at a wonderful rate. There are so many interactive fictions with options to select sexuality, select gender, select beliefs, etc. However, despite this expansion, there’s still a good deal of backlash against some aspects of LGBTQ+ fiction.

For example, as a bisexual woman who has dated men, I know there are some individuals who may not consider me a part of the LGBTQ+ because of this aspect. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, but it’s a viewpoint that I think should be educated against, and fiction is a fantastic pathway to do this. Another example I can think of is a friend of mine who identifies as asexual but is sex-neutral rather than sex-repulsed. Most people can’t believe her when she says this, and she often faces backlash for this declaration as well. This is another thing that I think that, with exposure through a medium such as fiction, can be worked on.

What I’m trying to say here is that I think LGBTQ+ fiction can be a brilliantly educational platform—if used right. Although it already teaches so much with what it has, I think having that representation of different subgroups of sexuality, of their experiences and beliefs, so people can become aware and knowledgeable of these options, is something I’d like to see more of.

Q5: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Oh man, I struggled to list off inspirations because I know I have some, but as soon as someone asks me who they are my brain just goes ‘brrrrrr’ LMAO.

In terms of the games that I write and the worlds that I build, I think David Lynch and Robert Chambers are probably the two that I somehow incorporate. Attollo and Metamorphosis both have a lot of surrealist horror, which are what these two really specialized in. Shirley Jackson is also another person who inspired me a lot when it came to the writing and creation of Attollo, especially the intrapersonal relationships between the characters.

In terms of life, this is something else I really struggle to answer. I don’t really have celebrity inspirations or anything like that, but I do get inspired by my close friends and sister a lot. Seeing them go through the struggles that they face and absolutely thrive really drives me to push through my own struggles. They’re the strongest, most brilliant group of people that I know, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I can be a part of their lives. Not only that, but we also all collectively encourage each other to push further and to chase our dreams (as cheesy as that is LMAO) and that’s something that I think is another stroke of good fortune. I struck gold when I met them, and they’re some of the biggest inspirations in my life.

Q6: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

For Attollo, I’d say ‘Home is where the heart is.’ For Metamorphosis, to quote John Berendt, ‘Always stick around for one more drink.’

Q7: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

What advice would I give to you all? Oh my, I’m not exactly a wise woman here, but I’ll do my best to give you something lmaooo. I think what I really want you to walk away with, from both my stories and this interview, is that if you’re passionate about something, then share it with the world. Don’t let anyone deter your passion.

I remember listening to this painter once who commented to his friend how he ‘really liked painting’, and his friend’s first response was ‘but are you good at it?’. He then compared this to the scenario of walking; would you say, ‘but are you good at it?’ to someone who said, ‘I really like walking’? No, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, and it doesn’t make sense to say that to anyone who’s doing something out of passion.

To put it simply—if you love something, then don’t let anyone take that passion from you. I began writing these stories because I’m passionate about Attollo and Metamorphosis; I love each character, each bit of lore, and I share it with you because I want you all to enjoy it as well. Am I the best writer? God, no. Does everyone like what I write? Definitely not. But will I let this stop me from writing, from enjoying what I’m doing? Never, and I want you to do the same.

Explore your passions, embrace your passions, and let what makes you happy continue to do so