#both r beefy and can kill
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oakdrawss · 1 year ago
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People need to get weirder about dwarves
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wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 8 months ago
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Beautiful Stranger
I've Never Seen a Mouth That I Would Kill to Kiss (2)
Mommy!Wanda x Beefy!Fem!Reader
Summary: You've been helping out with the boys for a few months and getting closer to Wanda
Word Count: 3.8K
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Thigh riding (W to R), R is referred to as Daddy, fingering (R to W), subspace, Dom/sub dynamics
A/N: Here is part 2 because this is all my brain can work with at the moment is fixing this up for you guys~
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August 28,2023
The end of summer flew by as you continued to babysit the boys on occasion while Wanda worked out things with her soon to be ex-husband.
Wanda hadn't told you when you first met her, but she did eventually when you woke up in her bed one morning to her throwing up in the master bath. Rushing over to hold her hair and sooth her by rubbing her back.
“Did you eat something bad last night?” You asked with concern in your voice, but she shook her head, looking at you with tears in her eyes. Some of them rolled down her cheeks, staining them with makeup from the night before. You helped wipe them away enough that she could calm down and say it,
“I'm pregnant.” She told you letting you know it had happened before her and her husband had talked about divorce. She was about three months when you found out.
You grabbed a cool face cloth, dabbing her face, wiping the new tears that had formed and finally cleaning her mouth. You leaned back against the sink counter, holding her hand.
“We'll figure something out. Whatever it is,” You shrug, letting your thumb brush against the back of her hand a soft smile on your face. “I'll be here for you Wanda.” Wanda started crying and you blamed it on the hormone because you didn't think much about what you said, but in that moment it was exactly what Wanda needed to hear. That someone, anyone was on her side and you? You were on her side the moment you met her.
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September 11,2023
As you started up college and the boys started up school you came over every weekday morning to help get them off to school.
Wanda was starting to show ever so slightly, especially when she still wore these tight tank tops from the heat. She was currently leaning over the kitchen island talking to the boys as you tried not to stare at her boobs that were practically spilling out of her tank top.
“Okay boys. Off you go. Y/N will pick you up from practice and I'll be home at six for dinner.” Wanda tells the boys.
“I'll be making dinner so think about what you want otherwise I'm picking!” You call as they head out the door.
Wanda and you both had a few hours before having to go your separate ways. Recently it felt like the two of you were closer than ever with tantalizing brushes here and there against each other. She'd find excuses to brush past you, her ass rubbing against you, making you want to just grab her and fuck her.
It honestly made you wonder if it was her pregnancy hormones. You had read about it affecting your libido so maybe Wanda was just as horny as you were?
You moved over to Wanda, helping her with the dishes, bending over as you stacked the plates from the bottom rack and moving around Wanda to go put them away in the cupboard next to her.
“Oh sweet girl you don't have to do that.” Wanda says.
“I know Wands, I want to help you. I told you I'm here for you.” Wanda bit her lip looking away,
“Pretty girl?” Wanda's voice was soft and gentle, making you turn towards her.
“Hm?” You asked, realizing just how close the two of us were as you looked down at her. You were almost a whole head taller than her. She looked up at you still biting her lip. You just want to…your hands moved with your thoughts, setting on top of her hips and pulling her against you. “What is it beautiful?” You’re surprised by your own forwardness. You'd never called Wanda a nickname other than Wands. You saw the blush on her cheeks as she tried to form words, taken aback by your words.
“Y-you think I'm beautiful?” She asks in utter disbelief.
“Do I think you're beautiful? Of course I do, but more than just beautiful. You're gorgeous, you're intelligent, you're kind and caring, and an amazing mother. Wanda you are so many things I can't even begin to get into it all right now because it would take me all day to count the ways that I think you're amazing.” You confess, Wanda licks her lips and you cup her cheek.
“Please…” she pleads softly.
“Please, what beautiful?” You ask, tilting your head.
“Please kiss me.” She does not have to ask you twice as you lean down to capture her lips and suddenly it's like everything is right with the world. Like your world was in black and white, but now with this kiss you can see in color. The pieces of a puzzle coming together to fit perfectly and fireworks are going off to celebrate.
We pull apart for air, but you lean your forehead on hers. She leans up giving you small, soft pecks until you can't stand it, you lift her up by her thighs, setting her on the countertop. Keeping her just at the edge so You can grind into her. She moans into your mouth.
“Ah…ah…Y/N…Y/N/N...” fuck hearing her moan your name with that accent. You let your hand slip past her waistband finding her panties soaked as you rub through them.
“That's not fair, beautiful using my nick name like that.” You growl against her neck, trailing kissing. “There was a reason I told you not to use my nick name with those pretty lips of yours.” You had Wanda moaning and mewling for you as you pulled back to look at her. “Fuck…you are absolutely gorgeous…” You captured her lips once more, rubbing small circles against her clit through her panties.
Just as the two of you were getting into it there was a knock at the door making both of you freeze up before Wanda’s eyes went wide.
“Fuck...it’s Vis. I forgot he was coming by to finally grab the last of his things.” Wanda whispered.
“I haven’t seen him come by once all summer and now of all days!?” You whisper hiss more to the air than to Wanda as she got down from the counter.
“Just stay here. Continue with the dishes and go along with what I say, okay? Can you do that pretty girl?” She asked cupping your cheek and you nodded. Going back to the dishes keeping your back to the kitchen’s opening as you heard the two of them talking faintly before the two voices got louder and your anxiety rose.
“Wanda who is this?” He had an British accent, finally you turned around. He didn’t look happy, but you felt comfortable saying that he didn’t have any height on you and you definitely had more muscle than him. He was dressed in a suit, light brown, blonde hair, and blue eyes.
“Oh this is Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N from next door.” Wanda tells him. “She and her parents moved in at the beginning of the summer. She’s been the boys babysitter throughout the summer and she’s also helping with them after school before I get home from work.” She tells him.
“So why is she here now?” He questions, he’s clearly upset.
“Oh I was just finishing up the dishes before heading off. I have class in an hour so I told Wanda I’d take care of this so she didn’t have to stretch and bend so much.” You told him, a fake smile plastering your face.
“Well she could use the exercise.” You felt your face physically twitch at his response. Biting the inside of your lip and your fist clenching up. How fucking dare he?
“It’s no trouble at all. I really enjoy doing dishes.” You somehow manage out. Wanda is staring at me shaking her head. She must see it on your face how you just want to punch him. “Well anyways I know you two need a moment. I’ll finish up soon and head off so please don’t mind me.” Another fake smile before turning away. Grabbing the silverware as the two made their way to Wanda’s room and you finally let out growl that was deep in your throat. “Fucking bastard.” You muttered under your breath finishing up before leaving, probably slamming the door a little harder than intended, making note to apologize to Wanda tonight.
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“Go Billy! Go Tommy! Come on you got this boys!” You called out from the stands as they played a practice game of soccer.
“Are the twins yours?” An older woman asks.
“Oh uh, no not really, I’m good friends with their mom.” You tell her. “I pick them up from practice for her because she works late.” She nods.
“They’re lucky they get to have you cheering for them.” As she said that you turned your head back to the field as Billy took a shot and made a goal.
“BILLY! WAY TO GO BUD!” You called out as he smiled big at you.
As the boys finished up Billy ran up and you picked him up, putting him on your shoulder. “Billy Maximoff makes the goal and wins the game! The crowd goes wild!” You bounce up and down making Billy laugh. He’s come out of his shell and Tommy comes over You wrap your arm around him. “Alright boys what do we want for dinner?” You ask.
“Mac and cheese.” Tommy says.
“Chicken nuggets and fries.” Billy says.
“Okay normally I would say no to making two meals but those are both incredibly easy to make so we’ll let it slide for tonight. Let’s stop at the grocery store so I can grab some things to make for your mom and I for dinner and you two can pick out what you want.” The boys are overjoyed as you let Billy down the two scrambling to your car, getting inside as soon as you unlocked it.
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When Wanda gets home she mentions all the different scents as she walks to the kitchen in a lovely looking pantsuit. You smile at her in your tank top, sweat pants, and apron. “Welcome home.” You say, “It’s going to be a little bit longer for our dinner. I let the boys pick two different things for dinner. We had a hard time deciding when we were at the store if we wanted regular mac and cheese or the fun shapes for Tommy then Billy couldn’t decide if he wanted the dino nuggets or the star shaped ones and which fries he wanted to go with them.” You explain to Wanda as you move to the stove stirring the contents of a home made stew, adding a bit more of a rue to thicken it up.
Once September hits you get in the mood to make all different soups and stews. Wanda walked over, wrapping an arm around me, the boys upstairs working on their homework. You melted slightly into her.
“It seems like Daddy had a day with the boys.” She whispered in your ear, making you throw your head back against her shoulder, rolling your eyes to her,
“Oh don’t do that right now. I can’t even take you right now.”
“All the more fun later when you can.” She kisses you quickly. You groan in response, You were impatient and wanted her now after your little interruption this morning.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I almost jumped the island when he made that comment.” You apologized.
“No it’s okay. He isn’t wrong.” You turn your whole body to face Wanda now, backing her into the island. “Y-Y/N?”
“Don’t. Don’t you even for a second entertain his idiotic, red flag walking, ass of comments about your appearance. Remember what I said this morning? You’re beautiful and gorgeous and so many other things Wanda. Please don’t listen to his words.” Your hands are gripping at her hips, You swear You might leave bruises from how tight you’re holding her right now.
“Y/N...” Her voice is breathy. You lean in and whisper in her ear.
“Tonight I’ll show you just how beautiful I think you are and I’m not going to stop until you agree.” You kiss her jaw just by her ear as you hear the oven go off. “Oh that would be Billy’s nuggets and fries!” You turn on a dime turning back into the house-dad role you’d been in, leaving Wanda reeling as you pull them out, taking one nugget and fry to test them. “Okay those are done for him,” You look at the mac and cheese in the shape of SpongeBob characters, “That is also all done.” You take a taste of the stew, “Mmmm needs a little more paprika.” You mumble, taking a pinch and adding it.
“My favorite.” Wanda kisses your shoulder.
You get everything set up with Wanda and call the boys down for dinner. As you all sit down and start eating you tell Billy to tell his mom about practice today. Wanda being thrilled to hear about it.
Soon enough it’s 8pm and the two of you are tucking the boys into bed. You tuck in Tommy, Wanda gets Billy then you switch. “Mommy? Y/N?” Billy asks as the two of you are at the threshold of their bedroom.
“Yes Billy?” Wanda answers for us.
“Now that you and Daddy aren’t together anymore are you and Y/N going to get together?” Billy asks and Tommy laughs.
“Billy they’ve been together all summer!” He answers his brother and you chuckle. Wanda give you a playful smack.
“Boys, Y/N and I aren’t together. Yes she spends a lot of time here, but her and I are still figuring things out. Daddy and I just ended things so Mommy would like to be able to think about things.” You knew Wanda was making excuses, but it still hurt a bit.
“We’ll let you boys know if anything happens. If fact you two will be the first to know, okay?” You tell them, both of them smiling, looking at each other.
The two of you were finally able to leave the two alone, you head back down stairs while Wanda goes and takes a shower. You clean up the mess of the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and cleaning up papers from the boys, take out the trash.
All while thinking about what Wanda said, having your music playing just loud enough that You wouldn’t disturb the boys. The song ‘Nothing Hurts Like a Girl’ starts playing and I’m singing and dancing while cleaning up.
“I hope you aren’t singing about me.” You hear Wanda’s voice, making you jump, gripping the counter.
“Jesus fuck!” You hiss. “Don’t sneak up on me.” She laughs as the song continues to play. “Also excuse you that is a song about loving woman and yes also about getting hurt by them, but damn it women are hot and a shit ton better than any guy I’ve been with.” You admit Wanda crosses the kitchen until her body is pressed against yours, she isn’t wearing a bra, a loose shirt and sleep shorts.
“How many people have you been with?” She asks and you feel like this has to be a trick question. “I won’t get upset. I don’t mind if you’ve been with a lot of people.” She reassures, wrapping her arms around your waist.
“Promise?” Wanda nods. It takes you a moment, tilting your head back as You list them in your head, using your fingers to keep track. “Uh off the top of my head, not including nights where I blacked out and woke up with someone 10.” Wanda looks surprised, but not upset.
“All your age?” She asks and you nod.
“Yeah nothing ever lasted all that long. It’s like I had this attraction until I had them I guess. Then I’d kiss them and be like nah this isn’t it, but I’d still end up sleeping with them. I usually wouldn’t even let them touch me.” You find yourself explaining to her. “With you though it’s been different. Your touch feels addictive, it’s like fire dancing on my skin. I can’t get enough of you. I felt like I was broken before I met you.” You tell her, looking into her eyes.
She blushes and laughs letting me guide her and kiss her getting her up on the counter next song to come on is perfect, ‘Taste of You’
You let your hand into her shorts brushing her clit, “Y/N/N don’t you dare tease me right now.” She growls in your ear and your eyes roll back.
“Oh beautiful it’s cute that you think you’re in charge.” You put pressure on her clit. “You aren’t calling the shots right now; I am. You were the one that called me Daddy earlier beautiful.” You let your teeth scrap her neck, nibbling on her ear lobe. “Daddy’s in charge. Understood?” Wanda nods, “Words beautiful.”
“Yes Daddy.” She speaks softly, voice shaking.
“You’ve never done it like this have you beautiful?” You ask, picking her up by her thighs which she’s a little surprised You can do still as You bring her to the couch, sitting with her in your lap. She shakes her head, cheeks turning scarlet. “I’ll be gentle and you tell me if you want it harder or faster. You can set the pace. I like to use the color system of safe words. Green means you’re okay and we can keep going, yellow is slow down, red is stop no questions asked.” You explain and her face gets even more red, burying her face into your neck, making you smile. “Can you repeat the colors for me beautiful?” You ask while rubbing her through her panties, feeling how wet she’s getting from just talking about all this.
“Green is keep going, yellow is slow down, red is stop.” She repeats.
“Good girl. Can you tell Daddy what you want?” You ask softly in her ear.
“I-inside...” You push her panties to the side, letting your fingers slide over her wet folds, enjoying them until she’s shaking a bit, pushing two fingers inside her pussy, your fingers being wrapped up in her as she moans against your skin.
“You’re absolutely soaked beautiful. You took Daddy’s fingers so well.” You kiss her neck.
“M-more...” She whines.
“You want another finger?” she nods.
“F-fill me up Daddy...” You add a third finger moving a bit faster and a bit rougher instinctively. She bites into your shoulder to stop a moan ripping through her. Her hips are rocking against your fingers as she bites and sucks on your skin. You knew she was leaving marks on your skin.
“Oh that’s my beautiful girl. Look at you moving against Daddy’s fingers so well. Maybe next time you can take Daddy’s cock, would you like that? Daddy to fill you with her cock?” Wanda moans, nodding as she covers her mouth. If the boys weren’t asleep upstairs you’d be upset with her for stopping her moans like she was.
“Yes...yes Daddy, please...I’m gonna cum...” Her eyes are blown out from lust,
“Not until you tell me you’re beautiful.” You slow your movements much to her dismay, mewling, moving her hips to try and keep the high going. “Tell me that you’re beautiful and I’ll let you cum and we can keep going until you tell me to stop.” You tell her, she bites her lip.
“I-I’m beautiful...Daddy I’m beautiful, Daddy’s beautiful girl.” You smile, leaning up to kiss her.
“That’s right beautiful girl. Now cum for Daddy.” You pick your pace back up until she has to once again muffle herself by biting into your skin. You feel her tighten against your fingers, gushing, but you don’t let up your movements,
“D-Daddy...I came...” You smirk.
“I know beautiful girl. You can give Daddy another, right?” You ask and her head nods. “Good girl.” You keep your movements up making her cum again, soaking your hand and thigh. She’s a shaking mess in your lap. “Such a beautiful good girl. Daddy is so lucky.” You whisper holding her against your chest. You keep whispering praises in her ear, she’s moving her hips against your thigh, rutting into it and you chuckle. “Oh my beautiful girl do you still need more?” You ask and she looks up at you, you can see it in her eyes. You’ve dropped her so deep into subspace, somewhere she’s never been.
“More Daddy please...it’s been so long since I’ve cum...please...” She begs pulling at your shirt, tugging it up over your head, your breast bouncing a bit as she leans down, playing and sucking and biting.
“Mmmm good girl.” You let your head tilt back against the couch. You’ve never felt like this with someone and it sinks in that you never actually loved any of those people. Well you loved some of them, but not like this. Not like how it feels with Wanda.
Wanda’s hand finds its way past your panties as she continues to rut against your thigh, rubbing you as you let out a breathy moan. “Good girl. Make Daddy feel good while you rub against her.”
Wanda builds you up along with herself until we cum together. You have to cover her mouth as she doesn’t have the thought process right now to do so herself.
You slowly pull her out of subspace, getting her off of your thigh, grabbing a nice fluffy blanket, grabbing some water for both of us, and turning on a comfort show of Wanda’s as you pull her back against your chest.
“You did good for your first session Wands.” You tell her, kissing the top of her head. You can see her smile before she looks up at me.
“Y/N?” She asks.
“Wanda?” You tease back, kissing her nose.
“I love you.” Your breath hitches in your throat. “When you had me admit that I was beautiful. I knew that you meant what you said all day. I actually think I’ve loved you for a while, but it wasn’t until that moment that I realized it fully.” She rambles and you pull her into a deep, passionate kiss.
“I love you too Wanda. I’ve love you basically since I met you, but seeing you like this for me, making me feel good like no one ever has...I can’t deny it anymore.” You feel tears pricking the sides of your eyes and blink them away. “I don’t care that you’re older than me. I don’t care that you’ve already got kids, I don’t care that you’re divorced. Wanda Maximoff I love you and no one is going to stop me from loving you.” You admit. “I want to be here every day with you, with the boys, with this little bundle on the way. I want us to be a family.” Wanda is crying and smiling and You kiss her cheeks. “I mean it Wanda. I promise.” She nods.
“I want it too Y/N. I want you here with us. I want you to help me with the boys and live life together if you’re sure you want all of this with me.”
“I do.” You kiss her with everything that you are.
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thekats · 6 months ago
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2AM thoughts
CW: suggestive content, mentions/discussion of SA/rape
I just saw (again) a post with that Lae'zel-Halsin banter that's like 'has he killed more or fucked more in his 350 year alive?' and he goes 'chimera has 3 heads but does it count as one creature?' Then Lae'zel says 'must have been a challenging kill' and he replies 'yes... kill' (sorry, my palm brushed the back button and the post was lost from view or I'd have done this as a reblog, but again it's 2am, I'd scrolled for a while until it popped up and I'll have forgotten by the time I get up again).
Now, I see three potential readings for this and I'm not saying any of them are more or less valid, just wanted to package them into wordsies:
A) Halsin is doing a funny. From banter with Shadowheart (for example) we see that he does have a funny bone. I'm thinking in particular the animal noises she offers to make to make him feel more at home in the shadow-cursed lands and him going 'you bleat well enough as is'. Yup, can absolutely be read as 100% serious, but doesn't really match his character. Think also the 'you're so big and strong and muscular and huge hunky-hunk-man for an elf' dialogue option in camp. His reply 'really?' is, for a split second, convincingly genuine, but he instantly reveals that 'ha-ha! Tricked you, of course I know I'm a big beefy himbo guy for an elf, we have fun.' Not to play the autism card, but this humour is very popular among autistics, I don't make the rules. Allistics frequently don't get it, especially because we use it with such earnestness that it can be tough to see the intention of a joke.
The chimera banter does fit that pattern.
B) He did fuck that chimera, he is a monsterfucker. Obviously, this is the favourite option for both Halsin-stans and Halsin-...crams... it's 2.19am, fuck off.
Him horny, him 'old', him horny and old, he fuck monsters. We don't know when he did it, how he did it, why he did it. Maybe he really was just horny and he put all of y'all's hear-me-outs to shame (I'm not a monsterfucker, personally, I can't even bring myself to fuck Halsin in bear form, so I don't have any hear-me-outs). Maybe there was something external at play. Maybe it's Maybelline(TM R C and such). Honestly, good for him. All we know for sure is that he checked in with that chimera to make sure it was all consensual beginning to end. Absolute king. I'd believe that a chimera would get the hots for him. He can get it.
3) He did have sexual intercourse with a chimera, but it wasn't consensual on his part. "But Kats," I hear you scream (I don't, humour me), "why would he be so chill about it then?!" The drow. He says himself in his Sharess' Caress afterglow dialogue that the way he speaks of the events now isn't necessarily representative of the severity of the events. Ffs he reports being raped, a sex slave for three years, and still 'some of it was done willingly'. My bro, my boo, son. N.O.! Just because it was "in their nature" as lolth-drow or some shit does not make it excusable! Just because you got a hard-on, a natural bodily reaction that has nothing to do with willingness or consent, does not mean you have to downplay what happened, even if that makes it easier in your own mind. Therapy. You, me and someone qualified. And Astarion. And Gale. And Derryth Bonecloak, honestly... NOW!
I would not be any more surprised than with the other two options if this were the tale behind that... story. Martel, I am running out of vocabulary here, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, again, I don't consider any of these more or less true/likely than each other. Perhaps there's even other options? Perhaps there's official info on it that I haven't come across yet bc I've had the game for 3 weeks and there is just so much content all of the time. Yeah, just wanted to lay down my 2 cents. Okay, nighty night!
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vampnyx · 2 years ago
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When I say I ran to grab my headphones to listen to the songs.
Stuck on the Puzzle is not typically something I would listen to but it was nice and had very comfy vibes. I would put it in a playlist for a rainy day reading sessions.
Sick Obsession is something that would probably come up in one of my daily mixes tbh. Love the low whispery way it sounds, 100% fanfic inspiration. I actually had two other characters come to mind that it would fit nice for a yandere au.
As for getting paired with Lycaon 🥴 werewolfs are so yummy too. For "omg big puppy" [insert some kind of exasperated response appropriate for their personality] reasons but also 👀 reasons
And hell yeah I would poly ship 😩 I'll take as many as I can get. Though if it came down to it I'd still pick Diaval for obvious reasons ♡
-Diaval simp anon
Stuck on the puzzle is very much from my 2015 sad girl era so I haven't listened to it in ages... The problem is that Lycaon is an old soul that probably listens to jazz and classical- nothing less than 100 years old. That is exactly what I don't listen to so I went for some indie instead bc it's on vibe lol. Anyway maybe someone needs to help him branch out his music taste to something made this century lmao
I made a playlist for Diaval ages ago and it's a lot of rap and r&b and then his character developed a bit for this version of him. Sick obsession was one of the only songs that I still feel is on vibe for him. I don't think he's actually all that yandere but for his beloved I can see him getting possessive and he doesn't really care for humans enough to not kill one if they're in his way...
Hehe anyway glad you like both of them ❤️❤️ Diaval is definitely beefy himbo but Lycaon werewolf form is the hugest so if we're going for size 👀
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pythiaswine · 2 years ago
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[Knock at the Cabin spoilers!!!]
I havent read the book (going to do so now that I've heard some commentary from people who have) and I went to see the movie without knowing a single thing about it AT ALL.
towards the middle and closer to the end I was HOPING and PRAYING it'd be ambiguous, like a we-don't-really-know-who's-right sort of a thing, I wanted to see them struggle with (no matter the outcome) not knowing whether they could have or if they truly had prevented the apocalypse. I wanted them to question whether four people plus all those involved in the global disasters died in vain.
the middle of the movie SO PERFECTLY made me doubt and made it clear the characters were very well doubting. You're in a fucking echo chamber! Online message board? You are feeding off of each other. A rage-filled bigot, a beefy bartender, a devoutly religious nurse, and an impressionable line cook all creating a false narrative to justify breaking and entering and cult-suiciding! Can't you see how crazy this is? There's no cell service out here and you cut the phone lines on purpose. You planned ahead. The TV isn't live, you're checking your watch obsessively, you're "predicting" a pre-recorded news story.
ALL THAT, just for the apocalypse to unequivocally be real? the only ambiguity left is WHY???? And don't you dare tell me Andrew would shoot Eric, even if he begged him to. Even if the sky was fucking falling. If it's not real, how could he live with himself? If it's a real scorched earth, fuck it, we deserve to live. Sorry, I'm much more of an Andrew. I'm atheist and never in a million years would I believe the horsemen weren't just insane suicidal cultists who met on r/apocalypse. To have that be the case, undeniable to both the viewer and the characters who make the ultimate decision, it feels like the set-up of the entire movie has crumbled! It's all for nothing!
Don't get me wrong, I loved it. I loved what it was set up to be and as disappointed as I am in the ending, it made me cry and laugh and ik there is some sense of valor in sacrificing yourself bc you believe it will make the life of your child better, even if Eric didn't care about the rest of the world. And the No, kill me. Please. Kill me instead. True love right there. Again, both for the partner and the child. But come ON! if I'm going to be unhappy by the end of the film, I want to at least doubt the validity of the events.
And no, seriously, I don't think I CAN get over Eric making the decision he did or Andrew agreeing to it. Sorry, I'm dragging my partner out of there and fighting tooth and nail for them to stop asking me to do something so stupid like choosing to kill them to save the world. bullshit.
I need to read the book because OP's description of it is 100% what I was thinking by the end. WHY WOULD A LOVING GOD MAKE THEM CHOOSE? FUCK THE WORLD. but idk i'm an idealist like that. also would never be able to kill my partner and on that note, I wouldn't give my own life to "prevent" an "apocalypse." on so many levels. even if I knew it was real. nah. guess that means I'm built different.
okay, here's the other thing. sacrificing to save all of humanity isn't something that really happens. "sacrifice" is a relative term that comes subsequent to shitty events to justify, soothe, or deify what was lost. nobody should have to sacrifice their own LIFE, not truly, and the false narrative that sacrifice is good is as old as the oldest armies fighting for land or the earliest iterations of later-worshipped religious prophets and believers sacrificing themselves for their beliefs. To be clear, I'm not trying to say people who've laid down their lives shouldn't be remembered for their noble causes, rather that the fact that people die to fight on one side of history or the other is insane. this is very closely related to the queer allegory written into the Cabin story. Theism vs. atheism. Do we sacrifice for what they say is good? Are we supposed to lay down our lives for old-testament punishment? WHAT KIND OF A GOD WOULD MAKE US SUFFER LIKE THIS? Is there even a god? are they telling the truth? Do we sacrifice loving one another to comply to their beliefs? Do we sacrifice our fucking LIVES for a world that hates US, that would see us die for them?
It's bullshit. even though i loved the actors and appreciated the idea of the story. I'm gonna go read the book.
Knock at the Cabin (+ spoilers for Cabin at the End of the World)
Keep reading
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archived-kin · 3 years ago
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hi there !!! how r u?? so um, i hope i dont mind me rambling here about a obey me x genshin crossover i kinda came up with- basically i was imagining genshin characters as the exchange student in devildom- like how would they react to venti? maybe he would pretend to be a human and only reveal his true powers if he'd get attacked- or what about xiao? would he try to attack them? (yknow cuz he kills demons xD) uh that's it for now (im running out of space) !! thanks for listening xD
hello!! i’m doing alright, got a bit of a cold but it’s relatively mild ^^
this is an interesting premise!! jotted down some ideas under the cut ^^
xiao’s based in chinese culture so the kind of demons he conquers aren't quite the same as the theological demons that the om demons are based on, so he wouldn’t automatically sense and attack them or anything, but he’s still very cautious (levi thinks he’s the coolest because he’s like a badass anime character complete with tragic backstory in real life)
knowing who supposedly ‘fathered’ the om brothers, they’d probably be very unsettled by having a god among them, so if any of the archons ended up being the transfer, they’d be best off keeping their godhood a secret until they’re more familiar with everyone
asmo and lisa would be best pals. two pretty best friends. they have like little gossip sessions over tea and asmo helps lisa make excuses for skipping work in return for her providing cool electro lighting for his photos
lisa would also get along with satan - she's a librarian and he loves reading, and he can understand why she's so strict about books being returned on time. that aside he also respects how clever she is
xingqiu, however, would NOT get along with satan, despite the two both being bookworms. they'd get into heated debates over their books and would absolutely brawl over it
(xingqiu pulls a sword out of nowhere and suggests they 'take this outside like gentlemen' while satan just straight up flings a chair at him)
satan would also immediately take diona under his wing if she was the transfer student. he just adopts her as his kid and can and would beat up anyone who looks at her funny (would also be 100% willing to help take down the wine industry with her)
mammon and zhongli have a mutual lack of money and mammon keeps attempting to drag zhongli into money-making schemes while the gentleman is completely oblivious to what he's up to
childe keeps challenging beel to battles because he's got the physique of a good fighter and childe wants to know if he could realistically beat up someone that beefy without his vision
xiangling is intimidated by the sheer amount of tall men at first but soon enough settles right in and is fascinated by devildom cuisine. beel never wants her to leave because she is literally incapable of making anything that doesn't taste good to him
luke and barbara become best friends (simeon jokingly comments that they look like a set of twins). they cook and bake together and barbara teaches luke some of her simpler dance routines and they just have a lot of fun
yanfei is capable of talking circles around lucifer and diavolo for hours so she never gets into trouble for anything. satan enjoys listening to her law lectures because he finds the subject genuinely fascinating, while belphie’s mainly interested in getting her to help him prank lucifer without consequence
venti keeps thinking he’s being addressed whenever someone talks to barbatos and he jumps out of his skin whenever it happens because no one down here is supposed to know that he’s a god (they all just think he’s some very young-looking music nerd)
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toorumochi · 4 years ago
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Hello~ I created some KaruShuu Headcanons for you guys~ hope you enjoy ❤️🧡 (Questions ain’t mine, I just answered them) Also some of them are based off fanfics I have written/read.
Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?
KARMA IS A BITCH AND IS ROCKING THE FERRIS WHEEL SEAT WHILE SHUU IS HOLDING ONTO THE POLE FOR DEAR LIFE
Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?
Hm. Both. Lmao
Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?
Karma is the sexy time, always time and Shuu is the relaxing time one BUT. That doesn’t mean he isn’t playing along with Karma
Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?
Karma. Karma walks around at least half naked maybe some boxers - and it’s not like shuu doesn’t enjoy watching his manly man walking around the house beefy af and flexing his muscles without even trying but he still tells karma to put some clothes on
Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?
I DONT CAREEE HOW SOFT THE ARGUMENT WAS. KARMA SLEEPS ON THE COUCH.
Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?
BOTH DO. BOTH DO TAKE PICS OF THE OTHER ONE AND THEY TEASE THEM WITH THE PICS LATER ON
Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?
I would say that Karma was the first one who said ‘I love you’ and the ‘bc I love you’ feels like smth Shuu would say
Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?
Shuu likes to wear Karmas, and then:
“...shuu pls give me my clothes back I swear I have nothing to wear-“
Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?
Karma would be the one with cool dreams and wake Shuu up but since Shuu is a supporting bf/husband he will listen to him ❤️ and when it comes to nightmares, I would say that Shuu gets them but Karma is always there to comfort him ❤️❤️
Who is more likely to cheat?
No❤️ but if it’s in a video game- karma. He is a little bitc-
Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?
NDNSNSNSBD KARMA WOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT LIKE
“Wait whattt??? You have a crush on me? Omggg stahp I’m blushing now”
“......Karma we are dating-“
Or better!
“What? Omg- really? You actually have a crush on me? Damn Shuu why didn’t you tell me”
“...Karma we are marrIED-“
Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?
Karma is a little bitch and he would start with maybe splashing some water onto Shuu and then Shuu turns to face him with a straight face “oh it’s on”
Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?
Both initiate duets; anywhere and everywhere - and Shuu is the better singer. Karma sounds like a bitch
Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?
Hmmm maybe Karma would take it easy with the hand holding; like he would start taking Shuus hand when they are at home and when it comes to public he lets it be and waits for Shuu; cause if he is ready to hold hands, Karma is ready too.
GRABBING BUTTS- OMG PLS. KARMA. KARMA WOULD. AND AND HE WOULD TEASE SHUU ABOUT BEING HEAVIER THAT HE IS AND SAY THAT HIS ASS IS 4KG HEAVIER.
AND THE ARM SLIDING AROUND THE WAIST- *slams fist on the table* KARMA WOULD DO THIS ANYWHERE LITERALLY ANYWHERE.
AND THE BELT LOOPS- SHUU. SHUU WOULD THIS BUT LIKE HE WOULD DO IT AS A SIGN THAT HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND WANTS TO LEAVE SO HE SHOWS IT TO KARMA THAT WAY AND I THINK ITS ADORABLE.
Who likes to write the others name on their wrist?
Karma would doodle his own name on Shuus arm during study sessions or so ksksksks bonus: Shuu does NOT wash it off, when in the shower, he has this one hand stretched out so the water won’t touch the doodle.
Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?
Shuu. Both is Shuu. Pls.
Who is more protective?
Karma is pretty protective- but not in an obsessive way, more like taking care of Shuu and his health as well as his eating habits and sleep
Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?
Karma would just talk and talk till Shuu falls asleep but karma KEEPS ON TALKI-
Who drives and who has the window seat?
Karma drives bc he is the most terrain oriented and besides, Shuu likes to drink from time to time (like coming back from parties or so) so there is no way that a drunk Shuu at the steering wheel would survive.
Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?
Shuu would fall asleep in Karmas lap (DURING SHREK MARATHONSSS 🥴 Idk if anyone gets that but in my fanfics on Wattpad Karma is OBSESSED with Shrek lmao so Shrek marathons >>>) and Karma would carry him to bed.
Who cuts the others hair?
I would say Shuu would cut Karmas hair, pls he is perfect at everything. (.......except cooking and baking *clears throat*)
Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?
Shuu is hella bad at sexting, but when he is drunk he is the god of flirting lmao
And the encouraging ones- hm... both djdjdjd
Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?
AAAAAA NOOOO *war flashbacks: “You’re my Moron” fanfic ending II”*
Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?
KARMA KARMA KARMA WOULD. KARMA WOULD START TO RANDOMLY SLOW DANCE WITH SHUU IN THE KITCHEN AND THEN KISS HIM AAAAA
Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?
KARMA DOES THIS IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE TIMES PLS
Who kissed first?
OH OH!!!
I think!!! That if maybe Karma was the first one to confess bc come on, Shuu has a reputation so yea, but when it comes to first kiss- Shuu would. Shuu would be the one who kisses Karma like totally randomly, maybe hanging out at each other houses and watching a movie and then Shuu leaNS IN AND KISSES HIM AAAAA-
Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?
JDJSJSHS KARMA WOULD ORDER TAKE OUT BUT ONLY WHEN THEY ARE MAKING MOVIE MARATHONS AND THE FOOD RUNS OUT- AND THE THREE AM WATER GETTING IS SHUU BC HE IS JUST SCARED OF THE DARK YES.
Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?
YES. THIS. SHUU WOULD. Since he plays many instruments, he finds himself creating love songs for Karma butttt he wouldn’t give them to him bc he would be too embarrassed ndndndnd on the other hand, Karma would write poetry and stories for Shuu like very dorky ones and cute and Shuu finds it adorable on the inside but he has to keep his reputation and standards and stuff like that up so he just says it’s stupid but let me tell you, that boy loves Karmas poetry and stories
Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?
KARMA WOULD TRY TO IMPRESS AND THEN BAM. HOSPITAL.
BUT. JUST BC KARMA IS A DORK, IT DOESNT MEAN THAT SHUU ISN’T. IMAGINE SHUU TRYING TO BAKE SMTH FOR KARMA FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE FUCKS UP SO BADLY THEY HAD TO CALL A FIRE DEPARTMENT-
Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?
KARMA WOULD WEAR GLASSES BUT HE WOULDN’T BE EMBARRASSED BUTTT SHUU WOULD FIND HIM EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE
who worries about what they will look like when they are older?
BOTH, they worry that they won’t be good looking enough for the other one
who hogs the blanket?
Karma is a hoe.
who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts?
Pls, Shuu would rather die than not eat his own pizza left overs butttt Karma sometimes wont finish them and Shuu gladly accepts 😩❤️ (also a fanfic reference, bc Shuu loves pizza in that one fanfic so yea-)
who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?
BOTH BUT WHEN THEY ARE WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER AND ITS SAD THEY WONT ADMIT NOR SHOW IT
who talks while playing video games?
KARMA WOULD CONSTANTLY TALK AND THAT WAY HE CAN BEAT SHUU BC HE DISTRACTS HIM BUT SHUU ALSO TALKS BC HE HAS QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GAME
who sings along with the radio?
KARMA SINGS BUT HORRIBLY AND SHUU IS THE TYPE TO HUM TO THE SONGS
who would enter them both into a talent show?
KARMA BUT NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, RIO WOULD FORCE THEM TO DO THAT BEFORE KARMA CAN EVEN THINK OF IT
who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?
DO I NEED TO ANSWER THIS? 💀 (Shuu.)
who would throw the other into a pool?
KARMA WOULD THROW SHUU INTO A POOL. IDC. HE WOULD. B U T SHUU WOULD QUICKLY GRAB ONTO KARMA AND THEY BOTH LAND IN THE POOL. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.
who shops for groceries?
THEY BOTH DO BUT KARMA IS MORE ORIENTED DJDJDJ
who kills the spiders?
PLSSSS SHUU IS S C R E E T C H I N G AT THE SIGHT OF A SPIDER. KARMA IS THERE TO KILL/GET IT OUT TO SAFETY BUT BEFORE THAT, HE CHASES SHUU AROUND THE HOUSE WITH IT
who is the morning/night person?
SHUU IS A MORNING PERSON AND KARMA A NIGHT PERSON. BUTTTT ON SOME DAYS- *EHEM* SHUU ISNT A MORNING PERSON BC THEY HAD S-
whO PROPOSES?
KARMAAAAAAAA
I thinkkk that I have more of those- as soon as I find them, I’ll post them here 😩✨
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jockvillagersonly · 4 years ago
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2020 Drama Round Up!
Jock’s Alphabetical Watched List
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Ancient Detective
Rating: 🧣🧣🧣🧣🧣 5/5 cozy winter garments
Watch Status: done! ✅
The Good Stuff:
The MC is, objectively, the coziest man alive
MC said “simp rights” and honestly...good for him
I guessed the ~final twist~ really early, but it didn’t dampen my enjoyment of each individual case or the show as a whole!
Any Bad Stuff?
The last few episodes are like...oddly homophobic? With a queer-coded character presented in a somewhat grotesque stereotype? SAD!!
🌸 more reviews under the cut 🌸
Ever Night (S1)
Rating: 🌂🌂🌂🌂 4/5 inexplicably magic umbrellas
Watch Status: ...like 30% done
The Good Stuff:
Some of the BEST fight scenes I’ve seen
Lots of interesting world building!
My queen Meng Ziyi 👑
Any Bad Stuff?
God the MC’s hair is UGLY 😔 pour one out 😔
Guardian
Rating: 👬👬👬👬👬 5/5 gays
Watch Status: done! ✅
The Good Stuff:
It doesn’t get any gayer than this folks
Really this is some of the queerest media I’ve ever seen
Also the main and ensemble characters are all endearing and fun 🐍
All I know is have diarrhea and be hindrance
Any Bad Stuff?
The middle portion of this show DRAAAAGS
Also ZYL’s hair makeover is awful and someone needs to say it !!!!!
Legend of Fei
Rating: 🌰🌰🌰🌰🌰 5/5 dog safe chestnuts
Watch Status: still airing
The Good Stuff:
The pure yibotonin in this show could power a city or at least one depressed viewer (me)
Zhou Fei could and frankly should kick my ass
I love her your honor
Any Bad Stuff?
Has the odd effect of each plot arc feeling both way too long AND like you’ve been crammed way too full of information
Maiden Holmes
Rating: 🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️ 5/5 superior detection skills
Watch Status: one night and 15 episodes in
The Good Stuff:
The main pairing is so fucking cute guys. He loves her so much. He thinks she’s so smart 🥺
Includes one of the purest archetypes of a himbo on screen today 🤌
Crime solving! Hidden identities! Bisexual panics!
Any Bad Stuff?
One episode includes a pretty long assault scene / near r*pe of a main character - the scene is flashed back to throughout the episode, as well
Oh My General!
Ranking: 💪💪💪💪 4/5 beefy lady biceps
Watch Status: like 25% done because FUCK it’s long
The Good Stuff:
Literally EVERYONE in this show is bi. I have the screenshots to prove it. It’s glorious
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to serve my general. clean for her. cook for her and everything i do is for her. and if she cheats? that is on me! she caught me slipping and i will apologize and do better.
Any Bad Stuff?
My only complaint so far is the romance takes awhile to pick up? I’m pretty tired of the main love interest being rude to his objectively incredible wife >:(
S.C.I.
Ranking: 🐭🐭🐭 3/5 mouse archetypes
The Good Stuff:
The pacing is quick! Sometimes too quick? I got lost a lot @___@
Bai Yutong is simply TOO ripped
Any Bad Stuff?
Honestly this show is a bit of a poorly edited, problematic dumpster fire with not even a passing understanding of what psychology is
...but god if it isn’t fun to watch
Silent Criminal
Rating: 🥸🥸🥸🥸 4/5 conveniently disguised emperors
Watch Status: done! ✅
The Good Stuff:
They’re gay and in love your honor
Honestly the two leads really grew on me! I found myself wanting to rewatch their interactions
Not a whole lot of actual crime solving :(
Any Bad Stuff?
Yet another example of the tragic underutilization of female characters with potential 😔 justice for the ladies of this show
There is an assault scene (a character straddles a main character and forces a kiss while he protests). Easily skippable and not referenced again
Sword Dynasty
Rating: 🐛🐛🐛🐛 4/5 divine silkworms
Watch Status: just started (like 3 eps in)
The Good Stuff:
The fight scenes are very wuxia and very fun
Idk what the fuck is going on, but I’m pretty sure the emperor deserves to be stabbed, so go off I guess!
Any Bad Stuff?
Honestly I have barely begun this so ... idk yet!
Tale of the Nine Tailed
Rating: 🦊🦊🦊🦊 4/5 immortal foxes
Watch Status: mostly done
The Good Stuff:
Lee Yeon is very hot and that’s a fact
Nam Ji Ah (main female lead) is SO powerful and SO amazing and LITERALLY my queen
She stabs her fake mom when she’s , like , 5!
The communication b/w the leads??? Iconic
Any Bad Stuff?
This is just me, but I truly cared so little about the Imoogi. I just. Wanted an episodic monster of the week with all the same characters. Pls
The Lost Tomb Reboot
Rating: 👨‍🦰👨‍🦰👨‍🦰 3/5 bad mustache disguises
Watch Status: I stopped watch once [SPOILER] Wu Xie was cured, because I just ... don’t care about the mob politics? So for me that was where the show ended
The Good Stuff:
Zhu Yilong is like ... way too fucking pretty
Also the Wu Xie & Pangzi friendship is so FUN in this show!!!!
Everyone is 2 hot 2 handle
Any Bad Stuff?
Not nearly enough Iron Triangle hangouts >:(
Shockingly large amounts of white collar crime, shockingly few tombs
Every lady is CHRONICALLY underused and/or murdered. Yawn.
The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty
Rating: 🎩🎩🎩🎩 4/4 detective hats
Watch Status: I’m always on / off with this show 😔 I’m like 2/3 done now
The Good Stuff:
Crimes !! Solving crimes !! Gay domesticity !! What more could you ask for
One of the best OT3 set ups in the business
Any Bad Stuff?
Silly hats
For folks with secondhand embarassment issues, the main lead can be ... hard
The Untamed
Rating: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 5/5 soft bunny metaphors
Watch Status: Done! ✅
The Good Stuff:
Everyone in this show is so pretty I’m convinced it’s illegal
Like if this didn’t pass censorship it wouldn’t be because of the obvious gay longing but rather because it’s setting unrealistic expectations for beauty
Also: the gayest longing around. And murder!
Any Bad Stuff?
Nothing this show is perfect in every way
(Except like maybe don’t kill or write off all your women ... thoughts)
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gingus-arts · 4 years ago
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AH YES ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!!! with my thoughts again ajdjsj- this is one of my favourite ships so i had to
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tIME FOR ANOTHER SHIP "ESSAY." this time on keishima >:) again, the heights r just what i found on the wiki (i think it's cool that mishima is taller than keiji, his height fits him) and their sexualities & ages are a mix of what i've seen and what i think fits. which is to say, i saw this neat fanart of mishima being gay sjdhfns. generally i think they go together really well so let's start!
1. big spoon vs. little spoon — i just think keiji would want to be the big spoon asjhfshfn. mishima wouldn't be too set on either but he'd default to being the little spoon most of the time just cos keiji likes to be the opposite
2. lends clothes vs. borrows clothes — i think it'd be harder for mishima to lend keiji clothes with keiji being such a Beefy Boi, but he'd be totally okay lending whatever would fit him, generally stuff like ties and other accessories. i could also see mishima borrowing clothes once in a while, like if he forgot to do laundry and needed a dress shirt for work (it's not ideal because it'd be a bit baggy, but it's better than nothing) or if he wanted something comfortable to wear at home. he'd probably always ask keiji before he borrows things despite keiji saying that he doesn't need to, and he starts asking less as they're together longer (since he doesn't do it often anyway)
3. doesn't use pet names vs. uses pet names — mishima just doesn't seem like one for nicknames or pet names KFJSJDN. keiji absolutely does though— i think keiji would be more likely to flirt overtly in general so it just makes sense that he'd use pet names more. he'd probably stuff like "babe" a lot lol. but also, mishima would use an occasional "my love" whenever he's feeling lovey dovey (also this bouta sound hella cheesy but the way he says keiji's name sometimes is a term of endearment in itself)
4. extroverted vs. introverted — i think keiji would be kind of extroverted in the sense that he likes being around people (even if he's not particularly talkative, he can hold a conversation decently) and would prefer that to being alone, mostly because being around other people makes it easier to distract himself from his thoughts. i don't think he'd be drained by social situations either, but moreso envigorated by them (most of the time, anyway). that last part goes for mishima too! i think mishima would be significantly more extroverted than keiji just cos he seems extremely open to talking with everyone and seems to connect easily with them (and, he also seems more likely to persuade or push people into conversation than keiji is) though mishima is comfortable with having time alone too.
5. affection thru words vs. affection thru actions — i think keiji would generally have a hard time getting out affectionate words, so he just settles for doing small things like getting mishima food when he's @ work and kissing him or putting his arm around him. i think mishima would say really sweet stuff to keiji sometimes (though it's often more subtle & poetic than a straight up "i love you") and also compliment him often, so he'd be pretty comfortable voicing his affections, though he also does stuff with his actions.
6. confesses first vs. waits for confession — mishima just has a lot more confidence and self-esteem than keiji so i think he'd feel more comfortable opening himself up to rejection,,, though he would get the same nervousness about it that everyone gets. keiji distanced himself from even the possibility of being /friends/ with mishima, there's no way he'd think mishima would want to handle the burden of being his s/o, and it's possible he would just flat out deny that mishima likes him even if it's really obvious, if mishima doesn't say it upfront. so, he wouldn't even be waiting for a confession, he'd just try to get rid of his feelings (he'd probably feel somewhat guilty for "spoiling" their friendship with his feelings.) there is a small, small chance he'd tell mishima in a very unceremonious, way too casual sort of way, but this would definitely be an impulsive decision and he'd decide against doing it if he didn't blurt out in the minute he considered it (if that makes sense)
7. screams about bugs vs. squashes bugs with shoe — i just think it'd be funny if mishima was afraid of bugs LOL, tho i think it'd be more accurate to say that he's intrigued by bugs as a knowledgeable person (fr he just seems like he'd know a bunch of random ass information about a shit load of things) but likes to keep his distance from them. even though he's unnerved when they get too close to him, though, he makes an effort to not kill them. keiji does not care lol he'll just squash
8. drives the car vs. can't drive lol — i don't think keiji would necessarily be a bad driver, but i don't think he'd be good at it for one main reason– anxiety, or specifically, ptsd. the loud noises that sometimes come with driving, honking horns, the sharp rush of air and tires on gravel when a car passes you by, i think, could get overwhelming if he was in a relatively busy area. i don't think he'd be too good at concentrating either, he seems like he'd be somewhat prone to zoning out. mishima would Definitely be better at concentrating at keiji, and even if he zones out a bit, he's driven more than keiji (assuming,, he drives 2 work) and isn't bothered by loud noises. i don't think keiji would be too keen on admitting his problems with driving but mishima would probably pick up on it after it then call keiji out on it, /then/ he'd insist on driving most of the time.
9. can't cook for shit vs. makes dinner — i Actually Have a specific cooking hc for keiji which is that he can cook pretty basic things just fine, but he doesn't really feel the need to cook for himself so he barely cooks. like, if he was living alone, he'd probably live off of fast food and microwave meals KDJSJDN. now, if he was living with mishima- i think he'd moreso let mishima take care of the cooking, considering that mishima is Actually Good At It, but would offer help getting ingredients out or anything else mishima might need. if he wants to surprise mishima or give him a break from cooking, he'll order something to eat instead of cooking bc 1) his cooking ranges from mediocre to kinda bad and 2) he knows how to cook like 4 meals tops and 3) he doesn't want to embarrass himself lol (tho he won't admit that he doesn't want to..) mishima may coax him into at some point, though, and in that case, he'd try it out.
10. dislikes pda vs. loves pda — i think mishima would like to stay professional & within social norms in public, but he wouldn't be opposed to holding hands or a kiss on the cheek. keiji, on the other hand, has Less Shame and would nearly make out with mishima if he let him lmao- i think keiji would like teasing mishima with pda to some extent
11. overprotective vs. chill going — overall i think they'd both be pretty protective over each other! mishima seems like a protective person in general, (presumably that kinda comes with how nurturing he is) so i think that'd go doubly for his boyfriend with mental health problems up the wazoo who DOES NOT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF NEARLY ENOUGH.... i think keiji might get annoyed with mishima's overprotectiveness but mishima stands firm in it and keiji eventually comes to recognize it less as a lack of trust & babying him, and more as a sign that mishima cares about him (and occasionally, is concerned about him.) i also think keiji would be protective over mishima, just as a base level of people he cares about, but less so than mishima is over him because mishima's pretty well adjusted and generally doesn't need protection from anything (except bugs maybe, lol)
12. has more relationship experience vs. has NO relationship experience — ok so,, i'm a little conflicted on my takes here, because if i was going with canon, it wouldn't make sense that mishima is gay because he was skeptical of kugie's same sex relationship, /unless/ he hadn't figured out his sexuality yet, which is not entirely implausible (or, if it's the internalized homophobia hittin-) i still want to headcannon him as gay so imma go with those explanations. however, if that's the case, it doesn't make sense to have him date any younger than he is now– unless, he had a serious case of comp het, which is also plausible. that may have helped him understand how relationships work, but they wouldn't be truly fulfilling if he's gay. if we're taking the relationship experience to be inclusive of platonic relationships, though, mishima would definitely have more experience than keiji. and whether we're talking platonic or romantic with keiji, i don't think he'd have very much AJDHDJ. i think he'd have like 2 or 3 girlfriends when he was younger, but nothing serious, and i don't think he'd have any really strong friendships either, in school i think it'd mostly just be the type of friends that u don't rly hang around with too often after school & then you kinda just don't see them afterwards, and in adult life it'd be coworkers, so like,, even less of a purely friendship thing. i think not having a support system would really jack him up when the trauma hit bUT i'm getting off topic so let's move on!
13. HORNY LEVEL — keiji is a horny fool don't @ me, mishima is a functional level of horniness
14. AWKWARDNESS LEVEL — so, if this was general awkwardness levels, i'd put keiji's a lot lower and mishima's a bit higher-- HOWEVER. i'm taking this 2 mean their awkwardness levels in the context of a relationship and that's why they are what they are. i would think keiji is pretty awkward in romance due to his constant deflection and tendency to distance himself– mishima would be better suited to it but A Bit Unsure either because he hasn't had relationships before or he hasn't had relationships with men before. figuring out gey things. ah but yeah i dunno, i didn't come to a conclusion in my previous rant on this :')
15. JEALOUSY LEVEL — i think keiji would b jealous mostly because he's insecure and feels like he's not enough for mishima. he wouldn't voice it and would just try to get over it, though mishima would probably notice him pouting or being a little distant. mishima, on the other hand, is quite secure in himself, and even when he isn't, i don't think he would feel particularly jealous. i feel like he'd be really happy when keiji gets close 2 other people and makes friends and stuff because that'd be good for him.
48 notes · View notes
edwardsvirginity · 5 years ago
Text
And now... I introduce my best friend to Eclipse! 
--0000000--
[riley’s first appearance]
Friend: who's that
mike?
(the rest of the commentary for the movie is under the readmore!)
--0000000--
[bella reciting the opening monologue: some say the world will end in fire…]
Friend: wow…drama queen
--0000000--
[Edward and bella in the meadow]
Friend: is this real or is this more of her crazy headspace
--0000000--
Edward: marry me
Bella: I have an English final
Friend: wow……. Rude
--0000000--
[Charlie grounding bella]
Friend: charlie…. is the only sane character tbh lmfao
he knows an abusive relationship when he sees one
--0000000--
[Edward sabatoges bella’s truck]
Friend:  Y I K E S
A B U S I V E
this is not romantic lol
--0000000--
Renee: I just want to make sure ur making the right choices for you
Friend: she's NOT
--0000000--
[renee gives bella the quilt from all their trips]
Friend: awwww
except she's selling out her fam for bloodsuckers
--0000000--
[all the cullens wait for Victoria in the forest]
Friend: is it whatshername
the redheaded bitch
--0000000--
Friend: i'm just gonna say….alice and carlisle are the only valid vampires
Me: whyso?
Friend: idk anything about jasper and emmett, edward is weird, who else even is there
--0000000--
Me: [pauses movie because a spider has appeared by my head and I’m freaking out]
[it lands on my laptop and I scream and close it]
Ok… we can resume
Friend: what happened?
Me: [explains]
Him: ? ? ? why didn't you kill it?!
Me: killing it requires getting close enough to touch it, and that's Too Close
i don't kill spiders
anyway
Him: what?!? lmfao
you don't kill spiders
Me: killing them is too scary
Him: i'd rather kill it and know it's dead than wonder where it is
wow
me: i just scream until someone else comes to do it for me
him: that's a lot to take in
--0000000--
[jake confronting Edward about being on their territory]
Edward: I was trying to protect u by not telling u abt Victoria
Friend: mmmm yikes
bella just needs to move tf back to florida
this is….Too Much
--0000000--
[bella goes to lapush]
Friend: tbh i like his pack
--0000000--
Leah: if ur here to torture jake some more u can leave
Friend: oooooh
burn
--0000000--
[movie introduces imprinting]
Friend: tbh i think that whole concept is insane™ and i dont get it
bc it like absolves you of your own…actions
& removes the other person's choice
it's really fucking creepy
--0000000--
Friend: also it would be soooo weird to be able to read people's thoughts
Me: i know it would freak me out
i would hate being able to hear everything my packmates thought
Friend: i don't need anyone else to know how horny i am
--0000000--
[Jacob arguing with bella about the cullens]
Jacob: theyre not even alive
Friend: "they're not even alive" y i k e s
--0000000--
[riley creeping in bella’s house]
Friend: man i'd be sleepin with a shotgun lmfao
& like 12 dogs
--0000000--
[Edward yelling at bella abt bella disappearing with jake]
Me: he’s so overprotective
Friend: she needs it tho
Me: because she's such a danger magnet?
Friend: um….yeah
& she is a fucking damsel in distress
she has no power of her own :((
--0000000--
Friend: he's so…ugly
me: Edward?
Friend: yeah ……….
--0000000--
[Jake appears shirtless]
Edward: doesn’t he own a shirt
Friend: “doesn't he own a shirt"
LMFAO edward voicing my thoughts
--0000000--
[Edward kissing bella before passing her off to jake, who immediately hugs her]
Friend: the way they …. fight with each other by using her body :|
--0000000--
Friend: what do native americans think of this?
Me: [explains]
Friend: so what is the redeeming quality of these movies exactly lmfao
Me: they’re… fun?
Friend: i guess
like indiana jones
racist trash, but fun(?)
--0000000--
Me: I hate his sideburns in this movie
Friend: don't think they're that bad
his whole face tho is not great
especially pale af
--0000000--
[nonconsensual kiss scene]
Jake: ill fight until ur heart stops beating
Bella: u wont have to wait for long
Friend: YIKES
--0000000--
[Edward and Jake fighting post-punch]
Jake: she’s not sure what she wants
Friend: Y I K E S
--0000000--
[Carlisle bandaging bella]
Friend: carlisle is so hot
i wanna marry dr. carlisle
the way he medicines everyone up…
wow
 [..]
edward is useless
seduce Carlisle
 [..]
edward's been alive 100 years and hasn't become a doctor??? c'mon
--0000000--
[Rosalie killing her rapists]
Friend: LM FAO
love that
W O W
that's a more interesting story than bella's LMFAO
--0000000--
[Rosalie trying to convince bella to stay human]
Rose: there’s one thing you’ll want more than Edward… one thing you’ll kill for… blood
Friend: ohhh….
SHE REAL
--0000000--
Friend: & also bella's assumption that Edward is That Great
she's 18….. she hasn't even TRIED college boys
 [..]
has she even had sex with anyone, ever?
--0000000--
Friend: Evil Dakota Fanning is ….. scary af
--0000000--
Friend: i'll say what i want about stephanie meyer being a fucked up mormon…. but her music taste is p good
Me: she didn’t do the soundtracks
Friend: ummm…i remember stephanie meyer specifically thanking Muse in her books
in the "acknolwedgements" section
 or did you, the twilight princess, not read that part
--0000000--
[graduation party]
Friend: I feel like there should be a twilight spoof..
where a high school girl has to choose between dating a furry and a goth
bc that's what this feels like to me
--0000000--
Friend: he freaks me out
the beefy one
--0000000--
[training scene]
Friend: jasper's kinda sexy too
well, everyone looks good next to robert :|
--0000000--
[jasper’s backstory]
Friend: jasper was a confederate soldier?!?!??!
what?? lmfao
confederate vampires? thanks i hate it
--0000000--
Friend: didn't he have like a life and morals before becoming a vampire or
i mean i guess he's a confederate so maybe not but
--0000000--
[jasper’s backstory]
Friend: he just listens to her lmfao
his Evil Mexican Bruja
--0000000--
[about Victoria]
Friend: she should just make someone sexy a vampire and fuck them tho
she has the power here
--0000000--
[about Jacob]
Friend: is there a REASON he never wears a shirt?
--0000000--
[Jake trying to convince bella she has feelings for him]
Jake: you can love more than one person… like sam, Emily, and leah
Friend: thruple!
that's the only resolution here
jacob & edward need to fuck each other and get over it
there's too much tension between them
--0000000--
Alice: you and Edward will have the house to yourself tonight
Friend: oooooo
Alice: you’re welcome
Friend: LMFAO
alice is a bro
--0000000--
Bella [immediately after the scene with Alice]: hey dad, I was wondering
Friend: hey dad… i was wondering. do you have any condoms
--0000000--
Bella: dad I’m a virgin
Friend: not for long….
--0000000--
Friend: but like honestly it's all so deeply unclear to me
he has like no blood, right?
HOW does he get hard
Me: he’s always hard
Friend: i don't think that's how that works
--0000000--
[Edward and bella in edward’s room]
Bella: I wanna ask u something
Friend: "can we fuck"
--0000000--
Friend: i feel like "becoming a vampire" is just a metaphor for "losing virginity"
--0000000--
[Bella tried to jump Edward]
Edward: bella…no
Friend: ???????????
they already kiss and stuff?????????
Me: yeah
i think he's worried he'd like. fuck her to death
idk… her vulva is delicate i guess
 Friend: they could do some Other Stuff
Me: yeah i know
edward is just…. too old school to understand anything but piv
Friend: fuck her to death…with his flaccid vampire dick
 [..]
this is so………Weird
?????????? sex is not a sin
--0000000--
[Edward talking abt how he would have courted bella in 1918]
Friend: ???????????? i dont believe that at all
people fucked in the 1800s
edward is a fucking weirdo
[Edward starts his grand speech]
Friend: Ew
this is…. a Lot
tbh it's Not Sexy that he can't adapt to a more feminist era
[Edward proposes]
Friend: this is…… a Lot
he Keeps Asking
[bella accepts]
Friend: she's only saying yes because she's horny!!!!
--0000000--
Friend: also….tbh it's sad that these vampires have to deny their instincts and have no control over themselves
like ….maybe they should just be euthanized
 Me: :O
Friend: is it fair to deny them their nature???
we don't force tigers to be vegetarians
what is the difference
Me: because… they're sentient and intellectual and can decide for themselves not to eat humans
Friend: i'm not sure i buy that
Me: you think they're not smart enough to make their own decision not to eat humans?
Friend: it seems like they have to be rehabilitated to deny a very natural instinct that they have no control over
are the cullens themselves a metaphor for mormonism?
 Me: yeah but carlisle CHOSE a vegetarial lifestyle… no one forced it on him
Friend: i guess
but at what cost
lmao
--0000000--
[tent scene]
Jacob: I am hotter than u
Friend: LMFAO
--0000000--
Friend: why didn't they bring more blankets?????
how fucking cold is it
Dumbasses
--0000000--
[Edward and jake arguing over bella]
Friend: idk bella….
i'd rather fuck a hot wolf than a freezing rock hard PussyDestroying Vampire
those wolves are HUGE…. huge dicks im sure
--0000000--
[Edward talking about how he doesn’t want bella to be a vamp to jake]
 Friend: i feel like they're Bonding
over their inability to control this woman lmfao
--0000000--
[jake and Edward fighting over bella]
Friend: bella is not that interesting? ? ? ?
--0000000--
Edward: if you weren’t trying to steal bella I might actually like u
Friend: wow
THIS is where they should fuck
t h r u p l e
look deep into each other's eyes
--0000000--
Friend: she'd warm up if they were having sex
--0000000--
[post tent scene]
Friend: she's not even wearing a hat rn
bella…what the fuck
--0000000--
[Edward and bella talking about being engaged, jake overhears]
Bella: it’s the 21st century
Friend: yeah, it is the 21st century…. marry them both
--0000000--
[bella asks jake to kiss her]
Friend: what the FUCK is happening
--0000000--
[bella and jake making out]
Friend: she's not even wearing anything warm
--0000000--
[battle]
Friend: carlisle…. kung fu master
Me: renaissance man
Friend: only breaks the hippocratic oath when absolutely necessary
--0000000--
[confrontation with riley and Victoria, Edward trying to convince riley to turn on Victoria]
Edward: think about it riley.. .you’re from forks… you know the area
Friend: "you're from forks… who would want that"
--0000000--
[Carlisle healing jake]
Friend: god…..my sexy, classy dad
… so smart….. so kind
--0000000--
Bella: I’m not normal
Friend: bella….you are SO normal
the reason every middle school girl read these books and thought they were like bella is bc you are just THAT normal
--0000000--
Edward: I guess we should start planning the wedding
Bella: no… something more difficult first… more dangerous
Friend: is she still talking about her virginity
29 notes · View notes
fanfoolishness · 5 years ago
Text
Steven Universe: Future thoughts
Spoilers for the first four episodes below the jump!  All sorts of rambling ahead!  Please message me or reblog to share your thoughts, I wanna talk about it all!
I’ll try to organize things by episode.  I won’t be able to rewatch them until they go up on Apple TV so this is all off the cuff.  AHOY!
1x01 Little Homeschool
Steven has White, Blue and Yellow essences in his bathroom cupboard.  Maybe keep a bottle of your own spit just to be safe?  You never know? 
Aww Cherry Quartz is cute.  Did she actually get named? I assume that’s who that is.
I had thought that shot in the trailer was going to be Pink Smoky Quartz.   I was wrong, but then we DO get Pink Smoky Quartz next episode ahhhh!
We all know Steven drew that picture of himself and the Diamonds on the brochure.  
I like to think that Steven keeps up with his drawing during quiet times, and while he isn’t technically great, most 16-year-old artists aren’t great per se.  What’s important is that he keeps doing it and he’ll keep getting better!
Little Homeschool looks awesome and I want to go make some morps with Vidalia.  Wait, were Lapis and Peridot there? I don’t remember.  They should be!
I’m so glad Jasper isn’t the big bad!!! And I love that she’s just antisocial but not actively harming anyone (beetles and grass aside).  
Still no explanation for the blanket, I love it
STEVEN GO OFF, YOU TELL HER NOT TO HURT THAT BEETLE
Whoa Steven, that rage is juuuuust below the surface these days, isn’t it?  I get being annoyed at Jasper and I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve had this discussion but he really does just go off on her pretty damn quickly, and several times.
I am concerned that he referenced her corrupting herself.  I DON’T WANT CORRUPTED STEVEN Y’ALL, this better not be foreshadowing!!!!!
Honestly Jasper just needs to get into wrestling, I’m shocked Amethyst and Steven haven’t pointed this out to her
I’m dying at her attacking all the Earthlings in her little radius
Awww Steven, at first he’s really intrigued by Diamond Mode and wants to learn how to use it better.  So optimistic!
Except you totally killed about 10 conifers and only healed one, so way to hurt the forest dude
Am I the only one wondering how conflicted Dr. Maheswaren must feel, knowing Steven can heal all this crazy shit and that a) she’s toiling at doing it the old-fashioned way, b) he could really help her patients, and c) he isn’t?
Looking forward to seeing Steven and Jasper talk again, but I really hope it’s not because Steven’s been corrupted and is trying to get over it.  Urrrgh no ;_;
I do want to see if she has tips for how to control anger.  Or how to use it and learn from it.  But I’m not sure she knows either.
Steven is a shark.  Because if he’s not swimming, he’s sinking.  And swimming to him is helping people.  If he can’t do that, if he can’t do what he’s supposed to do in his mind, what is he doing?  He’s gonna sink this season and it’s gonna be FUCKING SPECTACULAR.
1x02 Guidance
Amethyst is so proud of herself!  It’s awesome!
Steven is clearly a little uncomfortable that he didn’t come up with the idea, isn’t he?  He also has a hard time figuring out that there are ways to use what you’re made for instead of having to run from it.  Of course, that isn’t true for everyone.  Little Larimar did love screams and children more than ice.  The best lesson is that people are different, some are comfortable working in a certain zone whereas others need to struggle past it to feel complete.
Amethyst was sitting in front of the Teens of Rage video game.  I FEEL THIS WILL BE SIGNIFICANT Y’ALL.
I’m just so glad Mr. Smiley finally isn’t understaffed. He could take a day off and go visit Mr. Frowny!
Uncle Andy is back!  Yay!  And he’s getting involved with Beach City in general, I’m really happy to see him putting down some roots.
Smoky Quartz is back!
PINK SMOKY HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THEM GO
Love love love the pink/purple asides for the Steven and Amethyst debate while being Smoky Quartz
TIME SLOWING/SUPER SPEED POWERS??? I WAS NOT PREPARED
The roller coaster exploded IN THE OCEAN I can’t EVEN
So far both Steven and Amethyst are intrigued and impressed by Diamond Mode, and sure, it seems harmless now... 
Steven is worried he’s losing his touch helping people.  That makes me worried that that’s part of a bigger feeling, not just this particular snafu.
Amethyst being so direct is often the one who gets closest to Steven talking about his feelings.  He started to go there, but then Little Larimar showed up again with their terrifying talk about screams....
1x03 Rose Buds
I’m really glad Greg and the Gems aren’t giving Steven shit about not wanting Rose to be looming over him in portrait form.  Now if y’all will also TALK to Steven about how he feels about it... but at least they’re okay with him removing the portrait.
HOOOOOOLY SHIT Y’ALL
I’m so happy J-10 and Y-6 are back!
OMFG they are NOT over Greg and it’s amazing
GAH-REG HOW COULD YOU
I’m glad the Zoomans are in control of their own destiny and able to go where they wish!  
no no no no no no no no no no we all know what’s coming here
Coming face to face with Rose Quartzes = instant KO for one Steven Universe
I almost had a panic attack with him as the Roses clustered around him and the music got tenser and tenser and the camera zoomed in on his face and that was fucking INTENSE PEOPLE
Greg seeing the Roses and just noping the fuck outta there, amazing, everyone in this family is so repressed
Poor Garnet and Pearl hiding in the bathroom
“Yeah, it’s weird”
Poor Rose Quartz-who-most-looks-like-our-Rose-Quartz, it’s clear she is much more emotionally in tune than the other two (due to her belly gem placement?)
STEVEN GOT NEW PAJAMAS
but let him sleep shirtless you cowards!
Also he just looked... so GROWNUP in that scene by the warp pad?  His proportions were just no longer little kidlike?  And he is still cutely beefy but not really little-kid chubby anymore and teen me would have had it BAD for him at this point, I’m just sayin’
Steven is S O O O O   S T R E S S E D   R I G H T   N O W
he’s eating his fucking blanket in an attempt to not talk about his problems I CAN’T
also HAVE WE NOTICED that Steven will eventually end up telling strangers at least some of what’s bothering him, but never the people who actually love and care about him
this episode was so damn tense it is masterful
I’m glad they managed to talk things out a little
but clearly Steven is still, as always, just scratching the surface, this poor kid just needs to GO OFF.
did he go pink in this one from stress for a second?  Or was that the next one? 
1x04 Volleyball
You cannot tell me that that white coat is not a hand-me-down from Dr. Maheswaren, it is CANON IN MY MIND
also damn how many Gems are cracking themselves right and left that this needs to happen regularly?
seriously though Steven, you might just want to get a spittoon and start sending one to every hospital ever, you would undo A LOT of human suffering....
Steven honey I’m so sorry your mom did you so wrong and I’m so sorry you’re so scared of everything to do with her and NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT OKAY
but maybe also you need to learn how to face some of this stuff so it doesn’t scare you so badly
Poor Pink Pearl!
Volleyball? Seriously Steven? so insensitive how do you know Pink didn’t throw a volleyball at her head
Poor Pearl and Volleyball feeling so jealous about each other
Volleyball is 8000 years old??  damn how old was Pink?
oooooooh the Reef!  so cool and mysterious!  Look at all those Pearl possibilities!
So Pink damaged her Pearl, and she sent her to the Reef for repair.  They fixed her gem, but when she reformed, the trauma was still so severe that she reformed with the crack.  Oh man :(
Now again I don’t want Corrupted Steven but you could probably wrangle that into support for the theory.
I prefer to think that Steven will do something different than straight-up Corruption to himself, but we could see something like the crack form instead of Corruption.
Willing himself into a monster form only works if he thinks of himself completely as a monster.  Right now he thinks Pink is the monster, and he thinks, finally, that he isn’t Pink.  So either he’d have to really hurt somebody and then view himself as a monster, or, my preference, he would develop something like a scar or pink eyes or stay pink all the time or something until he’s figured out his issues.
I JUST DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE HORNS, YOU GUYS.
Pearl WAS protecting Volleyball from Steven oh NOOOOO
STEVEN SONIC SCREAM
So we’ve got Diamond Mode Strength, Super Speed, and Sonic Scream, man oh man oh man
this finally makes sense because all the other Diamonds have such well-developed offensive powers
Pink must have been like “no those are dangerous I don’t want them, what else can I do” and developed her healing powers secretly
I always wondered why the Diamonds never recognized Rose Quartz’s healing tears or shield as belonging to Pink
And it must be that she never showed it to them
They maybe only knew about her offensive powers
MEGA PEARL IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND WISE AND HER RIBBON DANCING IS SO MAGNIFICENT AND I LOVE THEM JUST TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER YOU TWO
I can’t believe we got a new fusion so quickly!!!!
Fuck that bitch Shell amirite
look, someone help Steven.
Please help Steven.
HELP. STEVEN.
No new trailer for next week???? COWARDS
omg someone please please scream about all this with me
62 notes · View notes
minecraftoworymode · 5 years ago
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newtons third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and so while doodlingcubes has created an incredibly valid and stannable human reuben i, master of sin and the dark arts, have created the most invalid and questionable human reuben
below the cut is something of an explanation for how this trainwreck happened hghfdlghldkfh
so like romeo creates most if not all of his own problems right? he’s a disaster who sets himself up to have a terrible time constantly and keeps getting nerfed because he blames things not working on others instead of looking at his own behaviour. this is canon piece of evidence 1/2.
reuben can handle himself faced with an armed opponent (to borrow from the tvtropes bc im too lazy to find a clip, “If you choose to say nothing when Reuben has been kidnapped by a butcher, Reuben will give you a brief Disapproving Look before proceeding to beat the crap out of the butcher himself.”). this is canon piece of evidence 2/2.
ok. so.
five seconds into playing saints row IV i started coming up with an mcsm au for it bc the thing practically writes itself, with jesse being the boss and romeo being that zenyatta guy or whatever. and i was having a great time pairing characters until i got to the matter of the boss’ best friend, this guy johnny guitar, who was such an impressive warrior that zumba had to imprison him several years before sr4 started just to make sure that earth’s biggest threat wouldn’t stop him from invading. and like. jesse has a lot of friends, but the one character they actually repeatedly refer to as being their best friend is
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this lil guy. and i was like. ok i cant make johnny cash reuben, that’d be weird. but i can’t not make him reuben. 
BUT THEN i had a jimmy neutron-style brainwave that ended up spitting out this (in my au the choice of champions wasnt petra and jack but rather radar and jesse- this is from the jesse line)
THE ADMIN: you know, i couldn't help but notice that- despite the loads of fun we've been having- you've been looking a little glum. so, i decided to find you a little something to cheer you up!!
JESSE (ohhh shit here we go again) (awkwardly and strained): listen, admin, the first fifteen laser swords were really cool but-
THE ADMIN, poofing a stage with curtains covering it into the room: (weird shushing noise a la “abedup”) can i get a drumroll, please! (he rolls the r in drumroll bc hes extra like that) (he gets a drumroll, obviously, though there are no visible drums)
THE ADMIN (announcer voice like in the challenge room): he's pink, he’s big, his lack of co-operation got him turned him into a pig, iiit's your best friend-
(the curtains pull open, revealing a very confused, very pink, and very beefy human facing the wrong way and looking like he just got pulled out of a fight bc he's fuckign ready)
THE ADMIN: reuben!!! :D
JESSE, trying not to cry because now they miss their friends even more: uh... (why does this keep happening) i- thanks, really, i really appreciate it but- reuben was a pig?
THE ADMIN: (melodramatic sigh) do you really think i'd make the same mistake hadrian did? (jesse starts- they hadn’t been expecting him to know so much about the details of that particular adventure. of course he couldve just read lukas’ book (which he did) but it still takes them by surprise) this is the real deal, jesse.
REUBEN, turning around: ... jesse??
(jesse and reuben make eye contact, like in that one trope where they just KNOW it’s the other person- jesses like ‘id recognize those soulful eyes anywhere.’ n- well, jesse’s jesse, but both dont really dare to hope that it’s true. still, the admin is grinning widely, looking super pleased with himself even as reuben stumbles forward and pretty much collapses off the stage)
REUBEN: the- the witherstorm, it- where is it? we have to-
THE ADMIN, waving his hand: hah! don't worry your pretty little head about that, champ- er... champ. (very short awkward pause ok MOVING ON FROM THAT) jesse here managed to slay it aaall by themself! oh, you should've seen it, it was SUPER epic-
JESSE: wait wait wait, you're- you're telling me THIS is reuben?
THE ADMIN: the one and only! (fondly) he was a real hero back in the day- almost as promising as you are, jesse! only... very, hmmm... disobedient.
(shot of the admin and reuben looking at each other. there is A History here.)
THE ADMIN: 'course i couldn't bring myself to just kill him, so i decided i’d turn him into something so cute and harmless no one’d ever want to cause him trouble! (proudly) and more importantly, he wouldn't be able to cause trouble for himself. (laughing, but kind of through gritted teeth) because he was very, very good at that. (pause) and it worked, (off to the side) up until you dragged him into a fight he had no business being in, (back to jesse) but it all worked out in the end, didn’t it! (laugh) maybe i should try this ‘being generous’ thing out more often.
REUBEN: THAT'S what you call-
THE ADMIN: anyhow, i'm sure that's all water under the bridge now, 'ey? it’s not often i respawn people, you know, so if i were you i'd make the most of this second chance and not muck it up. (meaningful, threatening pause) well, i'm sure you two've got a LOT to catch up on, so i’ll leave you to it. toodles! (vwoops away)
n jesse and reuben are both like
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anyway im not sure he actually would look just like johnny gat but @simple-mooshroom-herder​ told me to draw it anyway so here we are.. thanks for coming to my tedtalk hgldhflghdlfhg
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shellheadtm-a · 4 years ago
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A, M, N, D /  K R S
A.) What is their preferred class? (Battlemage, nightblade, spellsword, ect) he’s a spellsword.  his favoritest most developed form of magic is destruction - specifically storm and fire magic (honestly did no one else see that coming?).  he’s a one-hander with a blade, and does actually prefer a blade, maces are no fun.  contrary to this, though, he’s a heavy armor wearer.  and i mean full heavy armor, he’s the kind that wears his helmet with the whole kit.  it makes his ears hurt where it pins them to the side of his head, but he doesn’t like being picked out for a mer in a crowd.  he also dabbles in conjuration magic a little, likes to summon flame and storm atronachs, and knows a shitton about soul trapping.  he only uses white souls, doesn’t think using the black ones are moral (considering those are the souls of sentient beings), and he’s got a drawer full in the mage’s study of the house full of black soul gems of various kinds that he’s keeping to see if he can figure out a way to get the souls out without sending them to the soul cairn.
M.) What specific individuals do they consider their enemies? calcelmo.  he hates calcelmo so, so much.  he sees him and that’s it, he’s Ready To Kill.  he doesn’t, obviously, that would be Wrong, but boy he rubs tnathas the wrong way completely.  for one, he’s totally wrong about literally everything.  two, he’s an arrogant prick.  three, he’s got that museum with people’s shit on display and his whole attitude is...how would you like if i robbed your family’s grave and put it up like decorations in my house???  ulfric’s a close contender, he’s an asshole.  that’s it, that’s all, tnathas has no time for him (that’s right, ulfric, you’d have to schedule an appointment that never would happen if you wanted to talk to him, how bout them apples).  those are the two big ones.  like there are people he just flat out doesn’t like for petty reasons, but those two make him so damn mad.
N.) What specific individuals do they consider close friends? he’s on...okay terms?  with serana?  they met when he was running with the dawnguard (well...i say that like it’s past tense, he’s still dawnguard, but you know).  urag gro-shub at the college he’s cool with.  there’s etienne (you know, stephen strange) at the college, even if etienne is never invited over ever.  uhhhhhh, he’s okay with most of the thieves guild.  lamashtu and lahar, who must be protected at all costs.  he’s on friendly terms with a lot of blacksmiths, considering.  but i’d argue overall that while...he’s nice enough, he’s friendly enough, he doesn’t...necessarily get close to a lot of people, and he has his tiny circle of what he considers family and he’s content and satisfied with that.
D.) How is their love life? is there we you just want me to sing sven’s praises, because that’s literally all i can do here.  it’s going very well, thanks for asking.  hooking up with a werewolf is weird, but he’s gotten used to it.  there’s probably lots of nudity around the house.  not even the sexy kind, we talked about how he’s a hedonistic little caligula, right?  he’s content.  he’s as happy as any version of tony ever really gets, probably.  i mean, it fucking took him long enough to realize sven was being very direct about what he wanted, but now that that’s all sorted out...He loves one (1) werewolf, and that’s that.  I’m not gonna sit here and like...Tell you about his azure eyes or anything, okay, you already know all of that bullshit.  
K.) What are classes they are interested in but have no talent for? alchemy.  he’s balls at it.  and balls at growing plants.  he makes terrible potions, he just...can’t make gel, he’s more a blacksmithing and enchanting kind of guy when it comes right down to it.  but he still goes into a cave or walks along the roads and comes back with like.  loads of ingredients and dumps them on sven because he cares.
R.) Vampire, lycanthrope, or neither, and why? And if either, what type of lycan, or are they a vampire lord? so...funny story, he’s almost become a vampire twice now!  i mean you knew that but not everybody knows that.  sven’s saved his ass both times, because sven pays attention where tnathas does not.  tnathas is not personally interested in being either/or, it’s not the kind of upgrade he’d go for given the chance.  he’s not a big fan of vampires in general, considering he’s a member of the dawnguard, and as for werewolves...well.  he’s got sven.  that’s enough of that.  he’s dwemeri.  he’s not interested in giving any kind of daedra power over him, because he cannot and will not acknowledge them having power of him.  he doesn’t think they do.  augmentations that require some kind of pledge of fealty are an auto-no from him all the way around.
S.) What's their preference in terms of romantic partners? must be tall, blond, beefy.  have like 0 patience and still manage to be a ray of sunshine.  must be blunt to the point of causing suspiciousness in squirrelly mer.  nice shoulders are a bonus.  sven.  you have to be sven.  in all seriousness, though, that trait of handing his heart to anyone that looks at him for like .2 seconds still is there, he’s just a little more skittish?  and like...coming right out the gate the idea of romance or sex or any of that was literally the last thing on his mind, you know, he was busy reeling from...everything.  he did...uh.  have a few encounters.  with who is none of your business?  before he even met sven, but w/e, it is what it is, you must be one (1) wolf boy at this point for him to give a shit, it’s really very sad.  the hearteyes are so fucking real.
@involuntaryspy​ / abcs for barbarians / accepting
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askmyboys · 5 years ago
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The Family (their not ACTUALLY related tho I’llexplainintextshh)
Names: Luke, Alan, Scott, and Wyatt | Genders: Male | Ages: Unknown | Heights: Luke is 7'3", Alan is 5'0", Scott is 6'2", and Wyatt is 7'1" | Species/Race: Human | Hair Colors: Alan's hair is Peanut Brown (his hairstyle is Tapered Sides + Messy Comb Over),  Luke's hair is pitch black (his hair style is fairly lengthy, curly/stringy and honestly it looks very scraggly, it looks like he barely e v e r combs it or anything), Scott's hair color is Ginger (his hairstyle is: Shaved Sides + Long Parted Hair), and finally Wyatt's hair color is Hickory Brown (his hairstyle is Cool Textured Thick Hair + Short Sides) | Eye Colors: Alan's is Denim Blue, Scott's is Forest Green, Luke's is Seal Gray, and finally Wyatt's eye color is Charcoal Black (their eye colors are mostly the way they are because of the colors meanings) | Appearances: Let's start off with Alan... he usually wears sweaters, turtlenecks or hoodies most of the time- complete opposite to the others for sure, he'll wear some ripped jeans to go along with them and some regular boots, nothing TOO fancy- he just likes the comfy feeling of sweaters/turtlenecks/hoodies n such mostly, he does wear them bc of that but also to cover up all his scars- I'm going to get this out of the way already, all of them wear animal masks tbh- Alan's mask is a mouse, Scott's mask is a bull, Luke's is a wolf, and Wyatt's mask is a Fox, Alan has a circle beard, Scott has a short boxed beard and both Luke and Wyatt have full beards. Scott usually wears tank tops and ripped pants, combat boots included as well, he's not really much for fashionable looks- just whatever fits and is easy to throw on usually, he also has a ton of scars on himself as well, the most prominent one is over his right eye however it doesn't seem to affect his vision- oh he also wears fingerless black leather gloves with spikes on them- I do gotta also say- Alan's a skinny not so strong looking dude, Scott looks a bit chubby but he's definitely beefy and could probs take out 5 people at once if he so desired, Luke is pretty beefy considering those kinds of standards- he doesn't look TOO strong but he could definitely take some people out if he wanted, Wyatt is a large chubby man but don't underestimate him- he can EASILY kick your ass too. Luke's main outfit is a long sleeved black t-shirt along with overalls over them, and he also wears combat boots as well- if he's not wearing his overalls- he'll wear a ripped denim jacket (a simple white t-shirt underneath it), ripped up blue jeans and- well- okay the combat boots stay either way, he gotta have those- and he wears dark brown punk rave gloves (I have an image ref if ya wanna see- just ask and I'll show ya) he has scars on his arms, legs, chest, back- and especially his face- although they don't seem to bother him in the slightest tbh. and finally Wyatt usually wears ripped denim jackets as well, again a simple t-shirt underneath, and his boots look more punk like than anything really, he also wears fingerless/knuckle-less leather driving gloves on both hands (all the lads that DO wear gloves have them on both hands btw), he also has a bunch of scars all over him but like everyone except for Alan, his scars don't bother him- in fact he's happy he's got them- its proof of just how strong he is. | Personalities: Let's start off with Alan once again, he's the surprisingly "sweet one" of this fucked up bunch- he's shy, he hardly talks because of that fact but also the... "outsiders" as his "family" calls them (fun fact: their not actually related at all in the slightest, they just... consider themselves this kinda weird, fucked up family if you will-), so the outsiders terrify him- he's worried they'll corrupt him or worse, hurt/kill his family, he can't let that happen... So, despite his shyness n such, he WILL kill someone if it means protecting his family but that's the only way he'll kill or torture e v e r, he's the sweetest one compared to the others however so long as no one tries to corrupt him or hurt/kill his family then he's chill, he just isn't good at conversations because of his shyness and fear of corruption, he does genuinely care for his family however, they all do- they'd protect each other with all their dying breaths for sure. Scott is cold, uncaring, and pretty much the brawn of this group- sure, Luke n Wyatt are also pretty strong as well BUT- Scott still counts as the brawn, he's completely silent- doesn't ever speak a word- he's not mute actually but he just chooses not to speak, words waste time when he can be causing mindless carnage ...so long as Luke or Wyatt give him the okay that is, he HIGHLY respects them both as the leaders essentially in a way, as for Alan... despite his cold and uncaring attitude towards the outsiders, to his family he is respectful and even... friendly actually- he tries to toughen Alan up on occasion- not because he thinks Alan is weak, he just doesn't want him to be... left behind in a way- he wants him to be able to defend himself if the outsiders come into their territory. Luke is cold as well, he also rarely speaks- only when he needs to truth be told, he h a t e s the outsiders but loves his family, he won't hold back at all most of the time when an outsider comes into their territory- Wyatt has to tell Scott to restrain Luke when it comes to them, he also tries to help Alan out along with Scott, he wants Alan to have not only a strong body however he also wants him to have a strong mind- the outsiders... he'll give it to em begrudgingly, their smart... too smart, they could easily corrupt such a young fragile mind like Alan's and he won't e v e r let that happen, he has a high respect for Wyatt, Wyatt is like the true leader of this family- and finally Wyatt... Wyatt is a fuckin lunatic im just gonna say that right now, he's mysterious and unpredictable- you never know what his next move is going to be no matter how much you try to get a read on him, he's v e r y cryptic with his wording and well various other things as well (he's p much the cryptid of their territory at this point), he's cold, calculating, and cunning- he's pretty much the brains in this here family, always makes the plans when outsiders venture into their territory, he's ALWAYS prepared just in case, can't have a n y o n e ...well, anyone that isn't w o r t h y inside... but to be honest, most outsiders aren't worthy, they aren't f i t to be let inside, those that are however... Well... It's best to just wish them luck, that's all you can do at this point, because after he finds the worthy ones, there's not much hope for them afterwards... | Side Facts: Before I talk more bout them, let's talk about their territory that's referenced so much... So, their "territory" is pretty much a deep part of the woods, they have a fairly big log cabin, its a very old and dirty looking house both on the inside and outside in fact, there's lots of things on their property, lots of it looks like junk in a way, junked up cars even, honestly- it looks like something out of a horror movie which in a way is fitting given their personalities n such, you can tell your getting close to their home when you see lanterns hanging on the trees and that's a sign you should turn back and r u n, that is... If you can, there's usually one of them ALWAYS patrolling EVERY inch of their territory. Tbh- their territory is also gated off anyways and for a g o o d reason, so crossing the gate is of your own free will- so you'd p much be putting yourself in harms way willingly so yeaaahh... Now onto the lads, what do they do in their spare time when their not patrolling or keeping close eye on the new outsider that wandered inside, etc? Well, Alan usually spends most of his time inside and reading or he's making and inventing things and new weapons for the rest of his family, he's always happy to give them a new weapon when one of theirs breaks down or help out when they need (but first, lemme say that their MAIN weapons they have around the property and like to use is, well... Alan likes to use a simple baseball bat, Scott uses a hook/chain, Luke has an axe, and Wyatt will honestly use whatever he wants, in a way- their kinda similar to slashers when they start bringing out the weapons n such), when Alan's not doing any of that- he usually explores the woods, well MOST of the woods... He's always heard from the others not to explore the d e e p e r parts of the woods and of course he listens despite his curiosity. Scott usually helps Wyatt hang up more lanterns on some of the trees bc a lot of those outsider nuisances for some reason grabs the lanterns and usually winds up dropping them on the ground out of fear n other bullshit, they keep those lanterns there for a r e a s o n... aside from that, he'll borrow Luke's axe and chop some firewood (they dont have electricity, they dont really care for technology or any of that), mostly aside from doing work around the property- he'll exercise more with Luke, carrying and lifting heavy objects- gotta keep their strength up, he'll also help Alan try this as well ...he has on occasion panicked bc Alan was struggling so much with one object, it looked like it was about to crush him, Wyatt has warned both Luke and Scott to start small and then go for the much bigger objects, you can't rush these things. Luke usually also does some work on the property, he hunts food more so for the family than anything, he's a good hunter and damn good tracker, of course- he uh, uses a gun for the hunting not an axe lmao, he'll bring back the food to get them through the harsh winters and just to get by in general, he's also good with telling which plants/berries would be safe to eat and which are not, he patrols the area ON OCCASION along with Wyatt but, his self restraint to go and rip them apart needs to be stronger in order for him to patrol- he needs MORE self control than that, like Scott- he also helps Alan out with not only strength of the body but also mental strength- he knows those... book thingies, albeit usually an outsider item- will help him gain more knowledge, Wyatt has told him however that, even books can be mistreated by an outsider, they take stuff for g r a n t e d... Which is foolish, but he'll still help Alan out himself as well. and finally... the big finale of this long ass post, Wyatt, the l e a d e r of this fucked up family... He usually spends his time outside, keeping an eye on the property and ready to help one of his "brothers" as he calls them (again, just in case its been forgotten, they are not ACTUALLY related, they just think of themselves as this weird lil fam) if they need, he's essentially the overseer of them and of course their property, he makes the plans if outsiders come into their territory OR... if their worthy enough, he'll help them... see the light so to speak, he'll help them see the true meaning... blah blah ya know all that cryptic shit, he's been to the... D E E P E R parts of the woods before, he knows a l l about it... He tries to keep his brothers shielded from it, they don't deserve to be put through a n y t h i n g like t h a t, he's warned Alan himself before too of course like "Now brother, don't'cha dare go wanderin' into them deeper parts of the woods, it ain't safe... Not for a young fragile soul such as yerself..."
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itsanerdlife · 6 years ago
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All I Have 14/15
Pairing: Biker!Peter Parker x Reader
**Reminder: I write ANDREW GARFIELD as my Peter Parker **
Warnings: Language. Parental abuse. Arranged marriage. Shitty parent. I Guess Boarder line cheating. Lying. Secrets. Sneaking around.
Your daddy has a plan for you. He’s a strict man, with a belt and gun. You know better than to stray from the path, from the rules he set out for you. You’re promised to a good man,but not much of a man. Secretly your hear beats for bad boy, biker Peter Parker. He’s been hounding you for a date, a ride on his motorcycle, for one word; yes. You keep turning him down, because if your daddy finds out about Peter, he’ll kill the both of you. But Peter isn’t backing down that easy. He knows what you want and he’ll get that yes.
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You play with the coffee mug in front of you, thanks to Aunt May who brought over a round. You fiddle with the spoon next to your cup, before Peter placed his hand over top of yours. You sigh, looking up at your grandfather.
“He told me you were Momma’s daddy. That you set up their marriage, and after momma passed, you didn’t want anything to do with me.” You shrug.
“He told me you didn’t want anything to do with me and asked me to stop calling and dropping by.” He nods.
“He said you knew about my arranged marriage.” You chew the inside of your cheek.
“To him?” Your granddad smirks looking at Peter.
“No, Sir. Someone else. She agreed to this one on her own.” Peter nods.
“Jesse Folts.” You explain. Your grandfather rolls his eyes, you almost choke on your coffee.
“That boring ass family?” He scuffs. “Your daddy must want your trust.” He sighs. Peter leans in towards you.
“Told you.” He smirks. You shut your eyes, shaking your head.
“Shut it.” You warn him. “Why didn’t I know about my trust?” You ask.
“I assume because your father’s business is drowning in debt. He needs that money.” Your grandfather nods.
“I get it at eighteen?” Your head tips.
“A portion.” He nods.
“Portion?” You and Peter repeat at the same time.
“Your momma set it up, so you get a portion at eighteen. When you get married you get another, and when you have your first child you get the rest.” He nods slowly.
“One question.” You hold up a finger. “My college fund. Did you take it?” You grip your coffee cup hard.
“No.” He scuffs. “I took it from him, when I was noticed he was attempting to dip into it when you were sixteen.” He shakes his head. “Little girl, everything is in your name, when you turn eighteen you get it all. Your college fund, your trust.”
“I’m so confused.” You squeeze the bridge of your nose.
“What happened to your face?” Your eyes snap up, swallowing hard you drop them to your coffee mug.
“Her daddy’s a drunk that beats on her.” Peter bites out.
“So she ran away, to be with you?” A brow is lifted.
“Yes.” Peter nods.
“Tell me about you.” Your granddaddy, leans back sipping his coffee slowly. “I assume you want to marry my granddaughter. Her daddy’s not worthy of permission, maybe you should ask mine.” Your eyes move from one man to the other.
  “What do you want to know?” Peter asks sipping his coffee.
“Age. Schooling. Career. Family. The kutte.” Logan smirks watching him.
“Eighteen almost nineteen. I skipped two grades and tested out early.” He winks at Y/N, who rolls her eyes. “I own my own tattoo shop, with my little brother and our best friend Sam.” Peter nods.
“I lost both my parents at eight. Drunk driver. I was adopted by my dad’s best friend and his wife. My little brother is from them.” He smirks as Aunt May comes over, filling coffee cups again. “My aunt May is pouring coffee into your cup.” He chuckles softly. Logan nods, thanking aunt May. “She and my uncle Ben own and run this diner.”
“I am apart of Sinner Disciples. My dad was apart of it. My dad, brother and as well as my best friends are apart of it as well. No drugs, nothing illegal. We run a fight ring, all legit thought.” Peter picks up his cup sipping again.
“Explains the scarred knuckles.” Logan nods slowly.
“Yes, Sir.”
“So neither of you knew about the money?” Logan glances between the two of them.
“Not at all.” Y/N shakes her head, disbelief on her face.
“Never thought about it.” Peter shrugs.
“Does it make you want to marry my granddaughter more?” Logan pins him with a look. He was a beefy old guy, he looked well put together, but he gave off a faint ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe for an older guy.
“Nope. Changes nothing for me.” Peter looks over at Y/N. “Was never the reason I started chasing her in the first place.”
“What if I don’t want it?” She looks at her granddaddy and back to him.
“What you want, I support it.” He nods at her.
“Interesting.” Logan smirks watching the two of them.
“I want one thing.” She turns towards her grandfather.
“Tell me.” He nods.
“Sign the papers, consenting to me getting married before my eighteenth birthday.” She stares at him. “If you have to think of it in a different way, think of it as you helping keep my daddy from dragging me back to the house of horrors and possibly killing me before I can get out.” She was throwing a hard ball at him.
“That’s all you want?” He sighs, picking up his coffee cup.
“Can I change the conditions of my trust?” Her head tips, curiosity in her eyes.
“Anything you want.” He nods.
“I’d like to think it over and set it to my terms.” She nods.
“Dinner next week?” Logan looks between them.
“For my birthday.” She smiles.
“Now, Peter you own your own shop? Your aunt owns this diner?” Logan looks around.
“Yes, Sir.” He nods.
“Perhaps you show me around, while my granddaughter asks sweetly for the rest of the day off.” Logan smiles.
“Take it. Run.” Wanda walks past the table, as if it was the most normal thing to do.
“I just need to change.” Y/N laughs. He pulls her from the booth, helping her up.
“You love her.” Logan nods as he stands with him.
“Like you have no idea.” Peter nods.
“You leaving?” Aunt May pauses next to him.
“Yeah, I’m taking Y/N with me.” He leans in kissing her cheek, before slipping cash into the pocket of her apron.
“Okay, don’t forget to tell your momma a day for this wedding. I plan to close the diner to be there.” She gives him a squeeze.
“I know aunt May. Working on the bumps. I’ll make sure you know.” He grins.
“I’d like to be apart of the day as well.” Logan clears his throat, adjusting his jacket.
“If she wants it, I wouldn’t dream of taking anything away from her.” Peter nods. Logan grins nodding, his hands in his pants pockets.
“Okay. Where too?” Y/N bounces up to him. He takes her bag, before taking her hand.
“I’d like to see the shop you own.” Logan nods. Y/N grins, as she starts to babble away, Logan smiles nodding along as the three of them head out of the diner.
Everything Peaches 8/23/18: @mo320   @all1e23 @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @alyssaj23 @elle88531 @allyp1023 @itsemmyb @joannie95 @kgbrenner @violinbetty @jade-taillia @sarahp879   @raquegp02 @rileyloves5 @flashfanfics @pigwidgexn @bfuckjames @pcterpvrker @bluebird214 @wandressfox   @amandab-ftw @henrietteoaks @bettercallsabs @queenforatime @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @freakingnerd99 @sweet-honey15 @mellxander1993   @geeksareunique   @spookygrantaire @supernatural508 @mariekoukie6661 @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @petersunderoos96 @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @justmeinthisworldblr   @nerdyandexhausted @kingarthurofslytherin @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx   @ssweet-empowerment @writingaworldofmyown @villainsaremorerelatable @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @extreme-supernatural-lover @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @teenagetragediesforeveryone   @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked   @stupendoussciencenaturepanda       @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety
Peter Parker: @ariminiria @coley0823   @dkpink123   @everthenerd @crayonwriting @bellamouse16   @paranoiadestroyah   @kiss-the-stars-goodbye @supernatural-strangerthings-1980
All I Have: @eliza-kat @coley0823 @teller258316 @imcerealouslystevie @crumpets-are-better-with-jam
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adashofstarshine · 5 years ago
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ToTS Original Characters Inspired by Cards
As I’ve finally tracked down one of the pieces of art I was thinking about, I would like to share some card inspiration for some of the OCs in The Terrors of Tin Street. This covers characters we’ve met before, those we’ve only just met, and ones we’ll learn about next chapter but won’t meet until War of the Spark.
Edvin (a.k.a Tasia’s fiance.)
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If you played Arena during Guilds of Ravnica and Ravnica Aliegance, you may have seen these flying Simic friends on your loadscreen. Unfortunately, the loading screen changed and therefore I lost all reference to this art. Now I found it, turns out I remembered it a bit wrong. 
 So whilst the circled figure actually looks like a vedalken hybrid, I remembered them a as a merfolk hybrid. That’s what Edvin is. He has the butterfly-looking glider wings to match Tasia, who is an elf-moth hybrid. (The inspiration for Tasia is all the pastel-mermaid fashion that seems to exist at the moment.)
Mia (a.k.a Vraska’s Finisher)
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As soon as I saw this card and its art, I wanted to know who this gorgon was and how well she knew Vraska. As we were never going to get this in canon, I gave her a name and a backstory. (I also went as far as explaining why her hair is blue, but we’ll see that next chapter.) At the moment in ToTS, Mia is 16. It’s about a year and a half until War of the Spark so she’s going to grow up a bit in the meanwhile. Howeve,r her fondness for wearing black, and her muscular build are already evident as a teenager. 
Vraska’s Finisher, the card, does not have Deathtouch, which I thought strange as most gorgon cards do. Gorgon-wise, I attribute the deathtouch keyword to their petrifying gaze.  This led to a headcanon that Mia has particular trouble with her petrification magic, and her other inheritable skills are stronger to make up for this. Mia possesses all the skills of an assassin, but she relies on her stealth and unique invisibility to drop out of nowhere and kill someone. Just like her card. c:
Eliza and Emil (a.k.a Who are these Random Gorgons?)
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Whilst looking for cosplay references, I looked up the full art for Vraska, Swarms Eminence. I was rather surprised, not only by the sheer number of gorgons in this art, but also by these two friends in the foreground.  Most particularly by the knife-wielding gorgon on the left.
This gorgon has a particularly 'strong’ chin and a general facial structure most commonly seen on male characters. (Think Gideon, or any other particularly beefy male hero.) Of course, this gorgon may just have particularly chiselled features compared to Vraska, and their companion, who have more pointed softer  features often used to stereotypically depict women.  However I looked at them and immediately wondered - is that a male gorgon?
According to the artbook and Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica, gorgons are defined as monstrous beings that resemble human women. I also went through scryfall and there are no depictions of male gorgons on any card. By these facts, they can’t be a male gorgon. However, that didn’t stop my mind leaping immediately to a better conclusion.. We do have a male gorgon in this picture, he’s trans. Ravnica has an entire guild of bioengineers. If they can’t help a gorgon boy out, and let him get the slightly more chiselled facial features he desires, plus help him through his transition, then they’re terrible doctors and bioengineers.
Enter Emil and his twin sister, Eliza. Eliza is the gorgon running alongside him. Without too many spoilers, I can reveal that the pair do end up working personally for Vraska when she becomes Queen. That is why they are at the forefront with her, rather than the masses behind her.  The pair are currently 17,  but we won’t see them until they are 19 during the prelude to War of the Spark. I love these two, as they show Vraska, very well, that a gorgon can be talented at far more than killing or violence. They are both very creative people and great assets to her revitalised guildhall.
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