#both finishing some of my kits and for the first time ever also trying cross-stitch

[le-jardin-inculte]

not dead, just completely consumed by a manic crafting spree

[markleesthighs]

Can you make a part 2 for “Forbidden Moonlight”? I’d like to see some gun fighting, some car chasing, some actual mafia jaemin action with the “I would die and I would kill for you!” kinda spirit? I mean the one who requested it has great theme ideas, it is definitely chef’s kiss and I don��t think it should be left off in just 1 part. We gotta know what the ambassador offered to jaemin.

-i'm on a break, so i finally got a chance to write it! I Sorry requests have been taking long, haven't gotten a chance to write in a while. I hope you all enjoy!

read part 1 here

You missed school for the rest of the day. You didn't even have a chance to explain your situation to Jaemin, feeling guilty. In your limo ride home your dad kept scolding and yelling to you about Jaemin. He went on and on about how stupid you were. To be fair, you had no idea Jaemin was associated with the mafia as well as your dad so you brushed off his comments. When you arrived home you didn't bother to talk to your parents as you stormed up to your room.

"There you are, m/n."

"JAE-"

Jaemin rushed to shut your mouth with his hand.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I have a tracker on your phone." "You psycho."

"But you love this psycho."

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought since you've had a pretty shitty day that you'd want to come with me to a drag racing competition."

"Jaemin, you know I'd love to but my parents-"

"God, have you never snuck out before? Just do the thing in the movies where you use pillows to make it seem like you're in bed sleeping."

"Fine."

You piled up your pillows and covered them with a blanket and added a wig to really sell it.

"Let's go."

Jaemin climbed down the lattice below your window that had vines growing on it. You rolled your eyes figuring that's how he got up here. You also saw the busted circuit breaker box, showing how Jaemin got past your tight security. Jaemin jumped over your gate and helped you up and over for your escape. He pulled you onto his motorcycle and you both rode off to the underground drag race arena.

When you arrived it was everything you imagined. Intimidating guys and girls left and right. The security stopped you (clearly since you didn't fit in with your preppy outfit) but Jaemin reassuring the guard saying you were with him. You were expecting Jaemin to be one of the top betters or backers behind a driver but Jaemin started to get changed into a racer uniform. Part of you was worried and Jaemin could tell.

"Don't worry baby, I've done this a dozen times."

You still pouted.

"And yes, I've won every time, and I'll win again for you."

He pecked your lips.

"You better."

He chuckled at your comment as he got into his car. You were standing among his mafia members will visibly worried.

"On your mark racers!"

You heard the loudest rumbling you've heard come out of a car, covering your ears.

"Get set!"

The smell of burnt rubber came towards your nose and the cars became even louder.

"Go!"

The cars sped off with a huge cloud of smoke blowing behind them causing you to cough.

"First time?"

A very tall handsome guy looked down at you that looked like he could tear you to pieces in a second. You nodded in response.

"You must be m/n. Jaemin's talked a lot about you, I'm Johnny one of his members in his...company."

"I know he's in the mafia business, you know?"

"Oh, well at least he told you the truth."

Your conversation was interrupted by the sound of the cars approaching you heard all the screams and cheers as you saw Jaemin's car approaching. But you also saw the other one not too far behind. It was intense watching the cars quickly approach the finish line, your heart was beating rapidly with adrenaline. Jaemin was leading before the other car caught up and they kept going back and forth it was causing you to have anxiety. But at the last second, you saw Jaemin pull ahead and crossed the finish line. You and the other members screamed loud cheering and hooting. Jaemin got out of his car and you ran up and hugged him.

"I was so worried."

"Aw, my baby was scared? What did I tell you I'm a professional."

You saw people exchanging money and people cashing out after betting on Jaemin, you assumed everyone bets on Jaemin. Suddenly gunshots were fired and you heard cop sirens getting closer.

"Fuck, which one of you called the cops?!"

Jaemin grabbed your hand along with the other members following you to the back alley where their motorcycles were. A few gunshots were fired in your direction and Jaemin blocked you from the shots. You saw a bullet hit Jaemin.

"Fuck!" "Jaemin! Are you alright?!"

"I'm fine, m/n, if it came down to it, I would die for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Can you two lovebirds quit it for one second!?" Mark yelled.

You hopped onto Jaemin's motorcycle as he sped up getting ready to leave. Johnny and others were yelling at him to go ahead and that they'll hold the cops off. Jaemin thanked them and you two sped off into the streets and onto the highway back to his house. Luckily, you both arrived safely at the house with Jaemin's guards being attentive. You sat silently in his living room awaiting the other members who were slowly trickling into the mansion. You saw the maids rushing to give Jaemin a first aid kit before he brushed them off saying he could do it himself. Jaemin was struggling to reach the bullet on the back of his shoulder and he was cutely trying to reach to remove it. You giggled telling him you could remove it for him.

"Are you sure m/n?"

"Yeah, I'm studying to become a doctor so don't worry. "

Jaemin stared as you remove the bullet from his shoulder as he hissed you apologized kissing his cheek. He looked at you stare at his shoulder with such care as you delicately dabbed his wound with rubbing alcohol. As he thought about it he never had someone who cared for him this much, most of them wanted him for sex, money, or reputation. You'd always ask him if something hurt and warn him about you stitching up his wound for him. You wrapped his arm up and you looked up at him to make sure he was ok and Jaemin looked at you with pure love in his eyes. He smiled at you and softly kissed your lips.

"God I love you."

You laughed "I love you too, Jaemin."

He kissed you passionately, leading your kissing to become faster and deeper. As Jaemin was about to take off his shirt, one of his members interrupted the two of you.

Jaemin groaned screaming "What the fuck is it now?! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"It's Mr. y/l/n."

Jaemin immediately froze, got off of you, and basically commanded that you stay where you were. But you weren't about to miss a showdown between Jaemin and your father, so you followed shortly after. You eavesdropped around the corner of the entrance where your dad and his associates stood along with Jaemin and his associates.

"I know you have him. I want my son back. I don't need someone like you to ruin his future."

"Funny, because last time I believe you offered me a lifetime get out of jail free cards, airway travels, and millions of cash whenever I asked."

"You know that wasn't the deal Jaemin, I told you to leave my son alone for those offers, but you don't seem to hold up your end of the bargain."

"What can I say? Despite you being a complete dickhead, your son is quite a lovely darling."

"Well, would your 'lovely darling' like to see this?"

Your father pulled up a video on a laptop his associates were holding, it was Jaemin and his buds in a club, but you can clearly hear what they were saying.

"Jaemin, I heard you 'found the one' you lucky piece of shit," Johnny spoke.

"Yeah, he's been treating him to everything, it's funny how those lovebirds act around each other," Taeyong added.

"There's no way Na Jaemin found someone to 'settle with', boss you're basically a god, you can get whoever the hell you want." Jaehyun drunkenly spoke.

"I can't believe you got lucky with m/n, he's basically the ideal leverage we need to take this gang to the next level," Lucas said.

Your heart stopped, leverage? What the hell was going on? Jaemin was still silent at this point.

Ten then jumped in "There's no fucking way you're actually in love with m/n right? He's not even that good-looking."

"Fuck yeah, the only thing good about him is his daddy" Haechan responded.

"Don't worry guys you know the only reason I'm keeping m/n is so I can milk out m/n's daddy of his money like a cash cow," Jaemin spoke.

You felt the tears starting to pool up in your eyes as they silently fell down your cheek. Is this what Jaemin really thought about you? What the fuck? So all of this was a joke? You were just fucking money to him? You hated yourself for thinking Jaemin actually loved you. Your dad was right, you didn't need a liar and manipulator like him in your life.

After Jaemin's words were played your father's laptop closed.

"What's wrong, Jaemin? Why so silent?"

"You can't do this."

"Who's going to stop me, think about it, it's my word against yours."

"Blackmail is a fucking cheap way to get what you want."

"How else did you think I got to this position? Beating those who get in my way. Now got get my son, get him for me, or else I'll send this to him to watch for eternity."

"...Yes, Mr. y/l/n."

"Oh and for the future Jaemin, do not think about seeing m/n ever again. You know the consequences."

"...Yeah yeah."

You quickly scurried back to the couch and wiped your tears off your face. You pretended to lie down and be asleep. Jaemin shook you to wake you up.

"Hey, baby?"

"Jaemin? What's up?"

"You...you have to go..."

"W-why?" You said trying not to break in front of him. You gazed into his eyes, is this really someone who didn't love you? You can't trust anyone anymore.

"Your dad is a ruthless man, and he has leverage on me, it's something that will change the way you look at me forever. To spare you the pain, I have to let you go now."

"J-Jaemin...fuck you."

You got up immediately but Jaemin grabbed your wrist.

"m/n...just know that I still love you, I sw-"

"You're just a fucking liar, I hope milking my dad's cash cow was worth losing the person who loved you most."

Jaemin realized you heard everything and was stunned. He watched you walk over to your father who embraced you in his arms with fake responses saying how he was so worried and other bullshit like that. Jaemin ran out to the front in hopes of you turning back. He wanted you to turn back, he doesn't want to lose the love of his life. He didn't want your dad's money, he wanted you.

"m/n! Please! I'm so sorry!" Jaemin was crying pleading on his knees.

He looked up at you, the full moon was behind you, beaming through your beautiful hair, reflecting off your soft smooth skin, just like the first night he met you. But this image was different. The moon shined on your tears and the streaks that fell down your cheek. He saw you with endless tears as each drop sparkled like a crystal in the light. You looked down at him and slapped his face.

"Fuck you Na Jaemin, I hope this was worth it."

You hopped into your car with the moonlight shining through your window as you took one last glance at Jaemin. He was broken and defeated. No wish on the moon could save him now.

[kaylaxwrites]

Defending Matt

Pairing: Matt Murdock/Reader ft. Jessica Jones Words: 900 sorry Request: “Do you think you could write a Matt Murdock x Reader where she argues with Foggy and Karen about Daredevil and how whether they like it or not Matt Murdock is Daredevil And that’s who he always has been? Where it hurts for her to see him hurt but she loves him, Daredevil & all. Pre-Established Relationship with Matt Murdock. It honestly just hurts in Defenders how they treat Matt as an addict for being a vigilante. Like our boy didn’t need to feel like that on top everything Please & thank you” AND “Can I get some Matt Murdock x Reader with Jessica Jones? Like Matt Murdock and reader are together and like some interaction with Jessica Jones because I loved Matt’s and Jessica’s interaction in Defenders. I wish they met each other again afterwards” A/N: first of all, I’m so sorry this took so long. Second of all, I’m sorry it’s so short. I felt so bad that I had been sitting on it for so long and I just wanted to push it out there, even if it’s not the best I would have wanted. but I hope you at least think it’s okay anyway! (and for the jess request: sorry that just kinda got like thrown at the end. If I feel up to it sometime in the future, I’ll try to write one that fits that better and has more jess/matt interaction but for right now I’m kinda blocked on it lol)

It was well past three in the morning when Matt found his way home after a night of vigilante justice. He tried not to wake you up, but the three hard hits he’d taken to the head and gash to his ribcage that night had him stumbling into the counters and knocking things off of shelves. It was the drop of the aspirin bottle that had you startling awake.

“Matt?” you asked sleepily as you leaned over to switch on the lamp, a warm glow pushing back the cool blue shadows from the billboard outside.

“Sorry—sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Matt replied from the bathroom. He was resting the majority of his weight on the sink, trying to bend over to retrieve the dropped bottle, but unable to due to his injuries.

You pulled the bedsheets off your body and swung your legs over the bed. “You’re fine, Matt. I’m just happy you’re home. Are you okay?” You stepped into the light of the bathroom then and took stock of Matt’s injuries. Obviously not. He was not okay.

“I’m fine,” he answered.

“You don’t look it.”

Matt moved to sit on the closed toilet seat while you prepared the first aid kit you had stowed under the sink. You also gave him a glass of water and pressed the aspirin bottle into his head. He took as many as he could before laying his head against the wall, closing his eyes. You cleaned up the cuts and scrapes all over his body. Matt let you, used to the routine the two of you developed ever since you moved in with him a few months ago. He let you move his arms around as you needed to, silently checking him over for any hidden injuries. You moved to stitch the widest gash last. He suffered through it mostly in silence, only letting out a few pained hisses and groans here and there. When you were finished, you helped him change clothes and get into bed. You listened to him fall asleep until you drifted to sleep as well.

Foggy and Karen gasped when Matt stepped into the office the next morning. Matt’s bruises and black eye certainly looked more harsh under the bright glare of the cheap overhead office lights. You winced as well, as you stepped through the door behind him—they certainly didn’t look like this at home.

Foggy sighed and put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. “Matt, I thought we’ve been over this,” he said, exasperated.

“More or less,” Matt answered. He tried to make his way through to his office, but Karen blocked his path.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” Karen said.

“We’re all going to die sooner or later.” Matt shrugged, sidestepping Karen and into his office, closing the door behind him. He did not feel like having this argument this morning.

Karen crossed her arms and marched over to you. “Why do you let him do this? ‘We’re all going to die sooner or later’? That’s practically suicidal!”

“First of all,” you answered, “I don’t let him do anything. He’s a grown man; he can make his own choices! Second, he’s smart and fast and lucky and he’s not going to get himself killed.”

Foggy jumped up from his seat. “Yeah, well,” he started, “that luck’s going to run out one day and I’m not going to stand by and watch my best friend die. Again.”

“I don’t want to see him die, either!” you cried. “But, Foggy, listen to me. We all know Matt. We know who he is, what he stands for. And—like it or not—he is Daredevil. That’s who he’s always been, even before he knew it himself. And because we know Matt, you and I both know he would rather be dead than stand aside uselessly when he has the ability to help innocent people. That’s why the two of you started your own firm. To defend the innocent. And that’s what he’s doing—defending the innocent where lawyers can’t.”

Foggy and Karen were silent. What could they even say against that? They knew it was true. They had already heard the stories of Matt stepping in to save a little girl from an abusive family, the numerous times Matt had saved victims of human trafficking. They knew all the good Matt brought, even to the detriment of his own health. They knew all this, so how could they deny it?

After a few moments, Foggy chuckled humorlessly. “You ever thought about law school?” he asked, shaking his head. He sighed once more. “The least he can do is have someone out there to watch his back, maybe come home with half the bruises.”

You smiled. “That can be arranged.”

Matt nearly groaned when a woman land next to him, having jumped from the alley a couple stories below. “Hey, asshole,” she greeted.

“Jessica,” Matt replied curtly. He stood from his crouch and turned to face her. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

Jessica scoffed. “Your girlfriend called in a favor. Asked me to watch your ass so your friends don’t kill you if you die.”

“And you said yes?”

“It was a big favor.”

“Right.”

“Look, let’s just get this finished and over with so I don’t have to look at your dumb hat anymore.”

“It’s a helmet.”

“Sure.”

[skeeter-110]

Just Dropping in

Tony Stark was all alone. Which was fine, he knew that's how it was going to be when he purposely disappeared years ago. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart. What he wasn't prepared for, though, was a teen boy in red pajamas breaking into his apartment and bleeding out on his couch.

Remix of Apartment 43B by ironfamjam for the @irondadremix

Read on AO3

Tony was awake in a flash when he heard a loud crash and bang coming from his living room. He sat up in bed for a second, waiting and listening to try and figure out what the noise was.

It didn’t take long for him to hear footsteps shuffling around and for it to dawn on him that someone had broken into his apartment.

A thousand different thoughts began to run through his head as he scrambled out of bed; a thousand different scenarios of what truly could be happening.

Had someone found him? Were they here to kidnap and hold him for ransom? If they were they were going to be extremely disappointed when they realized that no one was going to actually pay to save Tony.

As quietly as he could, Tony grabbed the crowbar he kept in his toolbox - thankful that he forgot to put his toolbox back in his workshop - and began to creep down the hallway.

Tony was fully expecting to see a group of men trying to rob him of all he had, but what Tony wasn’t expecting was a body just laying there on his couch.

Carefully, Tony approached the person, holding the crowbar up in a defensive position just in case it was a trap and the person was just pretending so they could attack.

When he got closer though, it wasn’t hard to see what was wrong.

The Spider-Man that Tony has been seeing all over the news and internet - that Tony had been keeping recent tabs on - was lying there unconscious and bleeding out on his couch.

“Oh, shit.” Tony breathes out once the image clicks in his brain.

Tossing the crowbar to the side, Tony all but ran over to the vigilante’s side, looking him over to try and see what exactly was wrong. Although, the blood pooling around the guy’s leg and seeping into Tony’s couch was a big giveaway.

“Alright, guy, don’t punch me for this, but you need help and I can’t do that with your clothes in the way,” Tony mumbles as he turns the living room light on.

Spider-Man didn’t even stir as the light filtered through the room, which both settled and unsettled Tony; it settled him because at least he wasn’t going to have to strip this guy and fix him up while he was awake, but it also unsettled him because the guy could very well be more than just unconscious.

Slowly, in case he had a head injury, Tony took off Spider-Man’s mask - if you ever wanted to call it that - gasping a bit when he saw the man underneath. Or, rather, the boy.

“Ah, shit. Of course, he’s a child because why wouldn’t he be?” Tony curses before shaking his head to snap out of it.

Quickly and gently, Tony began to take the make-shift superhero suit off of the teen, stopping short when he got to the gear on the kid’s wrists. The scientist in him couldn’t help but look over the cartridges, noticing that they were now empty.

"Well, that explains the webbing. Somehow I don't know if it’s better knowing that stuff isn’t coming out of him or not.” Tony mumbles to himself as he continued to strip the vigilante, cringing when he got to the teen’s leg and saw that’s where the worst of it was coming from.

Tony got up and went into his bathroom, praying the kid would stay asleep while he grabbed his first aid kit. The last thing he needed was for the kid to wake up and freak out.

Tony was just thankful that he's had one too many late-night workshop accidents and knew exactly how to stitch someone up

“Stay asleep. Please, stay asleep.” Tony begs as he approaches Spider-man once again, hoping and praying the kid didn’t wake up while he was in the middle of putting him back together.

Tony continued to repeat those same words as he worked, thankful that whatever higher power that’s out there heard him and kept Spider-Man completely unconscious.

After checking the kid’s pulse and confirming that yes he was still alive and didn’t have any other life-threatening injuries, Tony pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and used it to cover Spider-man up.

Tony stood there for a bit, just staring and marveling at how young the vigilante really was. Tony quickly concluded that there was no way the hero knew what he was doing and that he might as well help him out in more ways than one.

Going to the bathroom, Tony began preparing a whole separate first-aid kit for the teen to take with him whenever he left. He made sure to put everything the kid could need, hoping that it would be enough in the future.

Looking at the time after he finished, Tony sighed and began heading back to his bedroom, figuring that he might as well get a few more hours of sleep before having to deal with what would inevitably be one of the most disastrous mornings of his life.

*   *   *

When he woke up, Tony actually almost forgot completely what had happened a few hours prior. Almost.

That bliss didn’t last long though because once he was fully awake, the memories began to flood through his mind.

Tony just groaned and threw his arm over his eyes, giving himself two more peaceful seconds before forcing himself out of bed to check on the body on his couch.

Sure enough, when he got out to the living room, Spider-man was still lying there on his couch fast asleep.

Tony walked over to the teenager, checking his pulse one more time before going into the kitchen to start the coffee pot up. It was way too early to be dealing with any of this without at least three cups of caffeine in his system.

While waiting for his coffee to finish brewing, Tony tried to think about where to go from here. Should he wake the kid up? There has to be someone out there looking for him, right?

So many different questions and thoughts were running through Tony’s head, and not for the first time, the idea of getting charged for kidnapping crossed Tony’s mind.

After all, if someone really was looking for Spider-man, it would be extremely difficult to explain how he got in Tony’s apartment without some sort of kidnapping allegation popping up.

After finishing up his first cup of coffee, Tony figured that the kid was going to be asleep for a little while longer so he began heading to his bedroom - not without his second cup of coffee though - to get dressed and ready for the day.

Hearing groaning coming from the living room, Tony made sure to make it quick, walking back out to see Spider-Man staring down at his bandaged leg with confusion.

"Morning Spider-Man.” Tony greets, leaning against the entryway with a faux nonchalance. The teen in return let out a very childish manly squeal and tried to cover himself up more with the throw blanket Tony had given him.

Tony could help but snort in amusement as Spider-Man began to look him up and down. For a split second, Tony worried that Spider-Man recognized him from before he disappeared, but the moment passed when the kid’s eyes began to dart around the rest of the apartment.

“Who the heck are you? Where’s Harry?” Spider-Man questions. Tony just took another sip of his coffee, hoping that if he stayed calm about this whole thing then Spider-Man would stay calm also.

“I don’t know who ‘Harry’ is, but I’m Tony.” Tony introduced, staring at Spider-Man for a bit longer as he tried to decide what his next move should be. Anything that could avoid getting charges pressed against him by whoever “Harry” was. “But the real question is who are you? Considering you just broke into my apartment in the middle of the night and then passed out on my couch - you left an impressive bloodstain, by the way. It was pretty gross.”

“Oh my god.” Spider-Man groaned before burying his face in his hands. Tony watched the exact moment that panic began to set in Spider-Man, noticing when his breathing began to pick up a bit.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Crazier shit’s happened to me, trust me.” Tony tries to reassure, walking over towards the teen with his hands up, trying to placate him like he was some wild animal. Considering Tony isn't really around teenagers very often, he might as well be.

Spider-Man removed his hands, looking up at Tony with wide and slightly terrified eyes. Tony could understand why he was terrified, though.

Here he was sitting in a random man’s apartment, injured, and said random man now knew who he truly was. It was a terrifying situation, especially for someone so young.

“And don’t worry about your secret identity. I can keep a secret.” Tony adds, miming zipping up his lips and making sure to grin comfortingly after.

Spider-Man just continued to stare Tony down with a wary look before looking back down at his injured leg. Tony watched as the teen lightly touched the bandages before wrapping the blanket tighter around. Slowly but surely, Spider-Man looked back up at Tony and began to relax back into the couch.

Once Tony was sure the teen wasn’t about to have a breakdown he got up and went into the kitchen, preparing another cup of coffee. The kid sure looked like he could use a couple of cups.

“Thanks.” Spider-Man quietly says as he takes the offered cup out of Tony’s hands.

“I can’t survive a day without at least three cups so I can’t imagine what it’s like for a super kid,” Tony says just to ease a bit of the awkwardness and to have something to talk about other than the big elephant in the room.

"You’d be surprised how much energy I’ve got. My Aunt considered buying me a hamster wheel when I was younger just so I could run it all off. Now I’m more of a hot chocolate kinda guy.” Spider-Man jokes making Tony chuckle. The kid was charming, that’s for sure.

“Well, if you’re going to be stopping bad guys, all that pep must come in handy. A full stomach probably helps, you hungry?” Tony offers, figuring the whole conversation about “why” would go over a bit smoother if the kid had something in his system.

Instead, Spider-Man quickly threw his legs over the side of the couch and attempted to stand up.

“Hey, hey, you gotta go easy on that leg of yours. It’s very delicately put back together.” Tony says when Spider-Man ends up hunching over and hissing from the pain.

Quickly Tony sat his cup on the table and gently put his hands on Spider-man’s shoulders, easing him back down onto the couch. Once the teen was sitting again, Tony examined the bandage, noticing that blood was beginning to seep through it.

“Yeah, that probably needs to be changed.” Tony sighs to himself, thankful that he left the first-aid kit out in the living room last night. Tony had a sneaking suspicion that Spider-Man would try and escape if he was left alone.

Tony made sure to be quick when unwrapping the bandages, unsure if the sight would make the kid queasy; to be honest he didn’t want to find out. It was already bad enough there was a bloodstain on the couch, Tony doesn’t need to add throw-up to the mix.

“Wow. Mine never look like that,” Spider-Man says, admiring the work done on his leg. “Are you a doctor?”

“Oh, God, no. All that schooling? No thanks. I’ve just picked up a few things. Some of it comes in handy. Though, I admit, I never thought I’d be doing this.” Tony absentmindedly says, his main focus on cleaning around the stitching without hurting the kid.

“I’m sorry again.” Spider-Man apologies, although Tony wasn’t really focused on that because his words from a split second ago finally sunk in.

“Wait- did you just say you do this yourself?” Tony asks, a bit horrified at the idea of someone so young and untrained trying to professionally stitch themselves up.

“Only sometimes! And it’s fine because I heal really fast so it never really matters. I’m fine.” Spider-Man defends. All Tony could do was stare blankly at the teen, not even knowing where to begin with that one.

“I’m exhausted just hearing that,” Tony deadpans before returning back to Spider-Man’s leg. “And you’re lucky I got to this when I did. I don’t even want to think about you going at something as messy as this.” Tony says, shuddering a bit at the thought.

“Yeah… I’m sorry you had to deal with me yesterday. Last night was… it was really stupid. And I couldn’t get away without coming here. My friend Harry lives here and I thought I got the right apartment, but, obviously, I’m really bad at counting or something. It’s just - this place looks so much like his that I never even noticed.” Spider-Man rambles. Tony just sat there and listened with amusement, trying to take everything the teen was saying in.

“But, really, Mr. uh, Mr. Tony, it was totally an accident and I’ll cover the washing costs for your couch if that isn't too gross. I could buy you a new one too! But, that might take a while ‘cause it looks expensive and the paper pays me the absolute lowest they possibly can, but I’ll try my best.” Spider-Man continues, his tone of voice getting more and more frantic as he went.

“Woah, kid, take a breath. It’s fine. You’re fine. Who hasn’t broken into a stranger’s house and passed out on their couch? It’s a coming of age experience.” Tony tries to soothe, hoping his teasing tone would be enough to settle the teen.

“And don’t worry about the couch. All the furniture is a rental from the complex; that’s why your friend’s stuff and mine look the same. Guess we’re both too lazy to decorate ourselves.” Tony says, giving the bandages one last tug.

“Well, he just moved out of his dad’s place, so that was probably the last thing on his mind, to be honest,” Spider-Man explains, reminding Tony of why he never even bothered to get new furniture in his place.

Because when he first moved in here, when everything was falling apart and Tony wanted nothing more than to run like a coward and disappear, the last thing on his mind was getting new furniture also.

Tony quickly snaps out of the memory, taking care of the bandages around him.

“I bet he isn’t as good at making omelets as I am. You like peppers?” Tony pushes past the moment, standing up to go into the kitchen when something makes him pause. “And it’s Stark, by the way. Tony Stark. But you can just call me Tony.” Tony introduces, figuring that if the kid hasn’t recognized him by now, then his full name wasn’t going to make any difference.

“No, really Mr. Stark, it’s okay. I don’t want to bother you more. I already wanna die.” Spider-Man sheepishly refuses.

“I did not just patch you up for you to die in my living room,” Tony says before looking at the clock in the kitchen. “Besides, don’t you have school or something? You can’t be more than - what - fourteen?”

“Sixteen.” Spider-Man corrects, pulling an exasperated look out of Tony.

“Ahh, yes, the big difference between a child and a slightly bigger child.” Tony patronizes as he pulls out everything needed to begin making breakfast. “So, what’s a kid like you doing going around fighting crime anyway?”

“My, uh, my uncle died, a year ago.” Spider-Man answers, Tony pausing his slicing in order to turn around and face the teen.

“I’m sorry, kid. That’s hard.” Tony sincerely says watching as Spider-Man just shrugs it off.

“Yeah… it, uhh, it really sucked. Especially because I had already gotten my powers and I could’ve… I could’ve saved him. But I didn't know how at the time. And I just knew, at that moment, that I had to make sure something like that never happened again. I can’t live knowing that I had the power to stop something bad from happening and I chose to do nothing.” Spider-Man continues explaining.

Tony couldn't help but sadly smile, remembering all the things that he could’ve - should’ve - done sooner to stop so much damage from happening. But it was too late now. Way too late.

“Yeah. I get that.” Tony practically whispers before - once again - snapping himself out of his memories by turning around and beginning to crack some eggs into a bowl. “Well, I hear you make quite the impression. So I’d say you’re doing a bang-up job, Underoos.” Tony says, forcing himself to sound light-hearted as he poured the mixture into a pan. Now was not the time to wallow; wallowing was strictly a before-bed routine.

“I hope so.” Spider-Man sighs before realizing what he was just called “Underoos?” He squawks.

“You’re basically wearing PJ’s, kid.” Tony points out, smiling to himself when Spider-Man continued to protest.

“They’re- They’re not PJ’s!”

“If you say so.” Tony continues to tease as he plates the omelet, pouring a glass of orange juice to go along with it before walking into the living room.  

“Mr. Stark, you’re amazing. Thank you. I’m sorry.” Spider-Man stumbles over his words as Tony hands him the breakfast, causing Tony to roll his eyes in return.

“So, while you were comatose on my couch, I noticed your cartridges were empty. You make that webbing stuff yourself?” Tony begins to question once he was comfortable in the armchair with - yet another - cup of coffee.

Spider-Man just nodded, in the middle of shoveling the omelet in his mouth. Tony just whistled in response, completely impressed with what this teen was able to do.

“The tensile strength of that stuff is off the charts. How’d you come up with it?” Tony asks, once again not even bothering to keep the scientist in him from coming out.

“Trial and error, and error, and error,” Spider-Man begins to reply after washing down his food with the orange juice. “I’m good at chemistry and I get to hang around the school lab a lot so it’s easy for me to just,” Spider-Man continues to answer, miming pouring a bunch of things together.

Tony couldn’t help but bust out laughing, the realization of how ridiculous this whole thing was fully sitting in. Spider-Man really was a young child.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me the ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ makes his web-fluid in a high school lab ?” Tony asks, laughing even harder when the kid gave him a look as if he had just sucked on a lemon.

“It’s not funny! Where else am I supposed to make it?” Spider-Man protests, Tony just shaking his head as he tried to regain his composure.

“Well, what about you? It’s fully working hours and yet here you are.” Spider-Man points out as if he really was doing something there.

“Yeah. Here I am. In my own home that I pay for.” Tony replied dryly, only softening up and shrugging when he realized that he might have embarrassed the kid. “Don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Well, what do you usually do?” Spider-Man asks and wasn’t that a loaded question. Tony smiled a bit as he ran through his head what he should say. He couldn’t tell the whole truth about working with the Avengers - not without giving himself away and defeating the whole purpose of disappearing in the first place - but he didn’t want to necessarily lie either.

“Let’s just say I’m an over-glorified mechanic. Or, I was anyway. Now, I just do my own thing. I fix people’s stuff.” Tony simplifies.

“Oh cool, like their cars and stuff?” Spider-Man asks as he continues to devour the plate of food. “My friend Ernest - well, he’s not really my friend, but he’s this guy I know ‘cuz one time these guys were holding his shop up and I went in like ‘Hey! This is automatically a crime!’ except they didn’t get it, so I wrapped up faster than usual.” Spider-Man rambles, pouting a bit when he brings up the criminals not understanding his joke.

“Yeah, they didn’t get it because that’s probably the worst pun I’ve ever heard.” Tony teases.

“Hey! You try coming up with good one-liners while fighting off three guys.” Spider-Man squawks.

Several memories began flooding through Tony’s mind -memories of multiple fights he was in, bad-mouthing all of the criminals - the man having to snap himself out of it before he got sucked too deep in it all. “I guarantee I’d still come up with better.”

Like the child he was, Spider-Man just stuck his tongue out in return before reaching down and setting his empty plate on the coffee table.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I, uh- I really appreciate what you did for me. You didn’t have to, but I won’t forget it.” Spider-Man shyly voices his gratitude.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. And I know you won’t listen to a word of this, but be careful out there. It’s all fun and games until you get stabbed.” Tony fondly says as he got up. He quickly walked into his bedroom and grabbed the first-aid kit.

“I made you a kit. There are some instructions in there because sometimes you just really don’t have the spare minutes to go through pages of Google searches before you bleed out or something.” Tony explains as he walks back out of his bedroom. Sitting down next to the teen, Tony opened up the box and began to take out some wipes.

“Use these to disinfect your leg every so often and make sure to change the bandage or it’s really gonna suck. There’s also some stuff in here to stitch yourself up, but, I have multiple instructions - with pictures - so you at least somewhat know what you’re doing. I put some Advil in there just in case, but I’m not sure if it would work on you; it wouldn't hurt to try, though. And the Vaseline in here is for bruising. If you put it on a few minutes after the injury happened, it won’t bruise.” Tony rambles, wanting to make sure the teen had everything he needed.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. This is so cool. Thank you. But this is too much. I literally broke into your house and you’re being honestly way too cool about it; it’s freaking me out.” Spider-Man jokes, clearly extremely grateful even if he was trying to seem nonchalant about it. Tony just snorted and fondly ruffled the kid’s hair.

“I can’t in good conscience let you walk outta here without at least that. It’s bad for my heart condition.” Tony says, hoping that if he made it about him it would help the kid ease up on it. Although he quickly dropped the teasing and light-hearted tone in exchange for something a bit more serious so Spider-Man would listen to the next part Tony had to say and take it to heart.

“But if you’re ever in trouble, or you need a place to hide, or you’re too stubborn to go to a hospital like a normal person, you can always come back here.”

“I can’t do that, no, really. It’s okay. Thank you, though, Mr. Stark, but I’m okay. Really. This was just a fluke. A complete one-off, once-in-a-lifetime event. Promise.” Spider-Man adamantly refuses the offer, going so far as to even wave his hands to get the point across.

“You’ve already violated the sanctity of my door, what’s one more time.” Tony jokes, smiling when the teen buried his face in his hands.

“Mr. Stark.” Spider-Man draws out causing Tony to throw his head back and laugh.

*   *   *

Tony wasn’t actually expecting Spider-Man to show up again at his apartment. Not with how embarrassed and adamant the teen was that nothing was going to happen again.

Tony accepted that he was never going to see the teen again as soon as he was able to leave the apartment. All Tony could really do was hope that the kid was following instructions and was cleaning his leg like he was supposed to.

It wasn’t until late the next day when Tony was coming back home from work that he saw a sign of Spider-Man stopping by once again. Right outside on his balcony was a little plate wrapped up in saran wrap.

Curious, Tony walked outside and saw that Spider-Man had left him a plate of cookies while he was out.

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head, grabbing the plate and walking inside with it.

Of course, the kid would do something as silly and wholesome as leaving him a plate of cookies as - what he was assuming was - a thank you.

Tony took the cookies and put them in his own Tupperware so he could give the plate back, popping one of the cookies in his mouth as he did so.

Humming appreciably, Tony put the plate back out on the balcony before walking back inside and grabbing more bandages. Tony set the bandages down next to the plate before writing out a note for the kid.

You better be disinfecting that leg kid.

Tony figured he would get a kick out of that one, plus hopefully, it’ll drive the message home and make Spider-Man listen if he wasn’t before.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

Tony hadn’t heard anything else from Spider-Man, hadn’t even gotten a sign that the kid was around other than the fact that he took the plate along with the bandages. Which was okay. Tony prepared and expected this.

That didn’t stop him from worrying though. And, of course, his worry led him to the same place it always does; his workshop.

Every time he had another worry come up - like how he had no idea if the kid was still hurt, if the kid was alright now, or if he had gotten hurt all over again - Tony continued to add more and more to his project.

While he worked, Tony tried telling himself that Spider-Man not showing up in a couple of weeks was a good thing. It meant that the kid most likely wasn’t hurt and didn’t need Tony to patch him up. That thought was the only thing bringing him comfort.

Telling himself that working on his project was also a good “just in case” thing and that he most likely won’t even need to give it to Spider-Man in the first place helped comfort him also.

So, yeah, Tony wasn’t expecting to see the vigilante again.

Tony also wasn’t expecting someone to knock on his front door one random night.

Almost as soon as Tony heard the knock, he jumped up to his feet.

Several different thoughts began running through Tony’s head making him paranoid and switch between stopping halfway to the door and actually walking up to the door.

What if it was Spider-Man and he needed Tony’s help again? No, Spider-Man would have come through the balcony, he wouldn’t be knocking on the front door.

What if it’s Pepper? What if Rhodey is in trouble? No, Pepper wouldn’t come here and Rhodey still isn’t comfortable being out in public.

What if it’s one of the Avengers? What if they found him? What if Ross found out about him and what he did? About what he used to do?

Taking a deep breath in and steeling himself, Tony finally managed to push his body the rest of the way to the door, swinging it open.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was standing there in street clothes this time, holding his left arm in his hand.

“So, I, uh, I broke my arm.” Spider-Man greets as if the way his arm was limply laying wasn’t obvious enough.

“Yeah. I can see that.” Tony dryly says, still trying to internally calm down his racing heart now that he knew there was no threat. Tony stepped aside and waved Spider-Man in. “Come in, Spider-Kid. Let’s see what I can do.”

Spider-Man slowly shuffled inside, awkwardly walking over to the couch and practically collapsing once he reached it. Tony watched as Spider-Man’s breathing began to stagger, the adrenaline most likely draining from the kid now.

Tony gave the teen a sympathetic frown, gently taking his arm into his hands to look and feel where the break was and how bad it was.

“You’re gonna be okay, Bud. We just need to snap it in place. It looks like a clean break to me.” Tony tries to reassure. Tony continued to look all over the teen’s arm, trying to remember everything he learned about snapping a bone back into place.

It didn’t look like there was too much fluid building up, it wasn’t bleeding, and the bone wasn’t poking at the skin so it should just be a simple snap-it-in type deal.

“Ready?” Tony asks once he’s done analyzing everything.

“No?” Spider-Man hesitates, making a grin slip out of Tony.

“That’s the spirit,” Tony says, and that was the only warning Spider-Man got before Tony was snapping his arm into place.

Almost instantly, Spider-Man began to scream through his teeth, making Tony snap into action.

“I’m going to get you some water, just take it easy, Kid,” Tony says over Spider-Man’s deep breathing, quickly getting up and getting the kid a glass of water from the kitchen.

When Tony came out, the kid’s eyes were still closed, but his breathing was coming in short pants. Recognizing when a panic attack is about to start, Tony practically ran the rest of the way over to the teen and grabbed a hold of the teen’s chin so he had no choice but to look at Tony.

“Hey. Look at me. Breathe, one two three.” Tony begins to coach, smiling softly when Spider-Man followed his instructions, “There you go. You’re right here. Don’t go anywhere else. You’re right here.” Tony continues to soothe.

Spider-Man just stared into Tony’s eyes while he tried to calm him down, almost as if he would float away again if he looked away. Almost as if Tony’s intense gaze was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.

Spider-Man’s breathing soon began to slow down, the teen eventually able to take in a long slow breath.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, his eyes slowly fluttering shut now that all of his adrenaline truly was gone.

“You can kick everyone’s ass except your own brains sometimes.” Tony sighs sadly.

“You get them too?” Spider-Man blurts out. All Tony could really give in return was a tired look, before agreeing because even just the thought of his almost daily panic attacks was enough to suck the energy out of him.

“Yeah.”

“Did they… Did they get better, though?” Spider-Man hesitantly asks, almost as if he was scared to hear the answer. Which should have been enough to tell Tony to sugarcoat his answer, but sometimes his brain and his mouth aren’t wired together.

“Not yet,” Tony says, being quick to amend his answer when he saw the teen’s face fall. “But that doesn’t mean anything for you, kid. You just keep working on it. And drink your water.” Tony instructs, smiling fondly when the teen did what he was told.

“You okay?” Tony asks after Spider-Man had a couple of sips and looked physically calmer.

“Yeah. I’m good. Promise.” Spider-Man honestly replies. Tony continued to stare at him for a little bit longer, debating on whether or not he should give the teen what he’s been working on recently.

“Well, are you ready for a surprise then?” Tony asks once he’s finally made his mind up.

“Surprise?”

“I made something for you. If you’re interested.” Tony clarifies, before grabbing the metal case that held Tony’s recent project.

“Really?” Spider-Man shouts excitedly, sitting up straighter on the couch before he begins to remember himself and quickly protests the gift. “Wait. You can’t give me anything! That’s-That’s too much!”

“Hush, child. Children should be seen, not heard.” Tony quiets, not really wanting to go through a whole song and dance just to get the kid to accept the case.

“Excuse you.” Spider-Man gasps dramatically, making Tony smirk before tossing the case onto the couch cushion next to the vigilante.

“Go on, open it.” Tony permits, trying to hold back his chuckle when Spider-Man just gave Tony a firmly disappointed look.

Despite being "displeased" with it all, Spider-Man still pulled the case into his lap eagerly, quickly opening up the top of the case.

As soon as the red suit inside popped up, along with all of the semantics that were surrounding it, Spider-Man gasped. The teen couldn’t take his eyes off of the suit, and when he did manage to look away, his eyes locked firmly onto Tony’s.

“Is this- Is this what I-” Spider-Man breathlessly stutters, Tony taking pity on the poor boy by cutting him off when it was clear that the teen’s brain had practically self-destructed.

“A brand-new, superhero-worthy Spider-Man suit, equipped with all sorts of anti-bad guy goodies? Probably.” Tony answers for the teen, a warm and proud feeling spreading through his chest when he saw the biggest grin form on Spider-Man’s face; although he made sure he didn’t show it, he refused to show his soft spot.

“Holy shit! This is so cool! This is literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life; oh my God! Ned is going to flip!” Spider-Man gushes as he pulls the suit out and examines it.

“I just thought about you running around in your glorified sweats and I couldn’t sleep. So enjoy the suit, kid. It has its own AI and everything.” Tony nonchalantly says as if that wasn’t one of the biggest things to the teen.

“There’s an AI? Holy shit .”

“An AI who’ll - hopefully - help you be careful out there. She can help you navigate the city and deal with whatever shenanigans you get yourself into. The material of the suit itself should keep you - more or less - resistant to the kind of attacks you’ll be dealing with. It’s also fireproof, but I’d really prefer you didn’t go testing that out.” Tony begins listing off everything he put into the suit.

“Are you kidding? I’d never risk burning this. This is literally the best thing ever! I’m going to look so cool.” Spider-Man continues to gush making Tony snort at the teen’s clear excitement.

“Hell yeah, you are.”

Gently, almost as if he was going to destroy it then and there, Spider-Man folded the suit up and placed it back into the case, and closed it up.

“This is really awesome Mr. Stark and I really appreciate it but… are you sure? This must have taken a lot of time, and I don’t even know how much it cost-”

“It’s a multi-million dollar suit.” Tony interrupts, hoping that if he just quickly glossed over it, it won’t become a huge deal. “But I want you to have it,” Tony reassures.

“Did you say multi-million? As in more than one million? As in millions ?” Spider-Man gasps. “Mr. Stark, the most expensive thing I own is a forty-dollar sweater from this Star Wars merch site; and technically I got it on sale.” Spider-Man continues to breathlessly ramble.

Tony couldn’t help it when he threw his head back and laughed at the teen’s reaction. He’s never had someone react like that towards his work. The Avengers sure as hell weren’t even nearly half as impressed as Spider-Man was.

“Trust me, kid, I wouldn’t have made this for you if I didn’t think you deserved it.” Tony earnestly says, watching as Spider-Man stopped completely and widened his eyes, almost as if no one’s complimented him about this kind of thing.

Which, now that Tony thought about it, that was most likely the case. The teen probably hasn’t been told that he’s been doing a good job with everything for the same reason he comes to Tony’s apartment; because there’s no one else there to do it.

Tony once again decided that it was up to him to step into that role.

“I think you do good work, Underoos. And - more importantly - I think your hearts in the right place. With some more experience and some better tech, you’ll be able to do some amazing things.” Tony compliments. Spider-Man just blushed and ducked his head shyly in return, which managed to pull a fond smile out of Tony.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. That’s… That’s really nice of you to say.”

“You’ll be one of the greats one day, kid. No doubt about it.” Tony confidently says, making sure his tone of voice left no room for disbelief. It must have worked because Spider-Man cracked a small smile in return.

Then he whispered a sentence that made Tony’s entire body seize right up.

“Like Iron Man?”

So many thoughts and questions began to race through Tony’s head.

The first question was: did this kid know?

No. He couldn’t possibly know. No one but the people in his old life knew. No one from the public knew or even had close to an idea.

The next question was why in the hell did this kid look up to Iron Man of all heroes? Why did he have to think that Iron Man was what he should be living up to?

Didn’t this kid know that Iron Man is the reason Tony now has nothing? No friends, no girlfriend, no company, no one to live with but the dust bunnies in the corner of his apartment.

Of course, he couldn’t possibly know all that, but that wasn’t going to stop Tony from trying to persuade his thoughts otherwise.

“Mr. Stark?” A tiny voice breaks through all of Tony’s thoughts. Snapping his head up, Tony realized that he had gotten too far into his head and quickly shook himself out of it.

“Nothing, kid. I’d just… shoot higher than the tin can.”

“Are you crazy? You can’t shoot higher than Iron Man! Iron Man is Iron Man! He’s the best.” Spider-Man protests. Tony wasn’t sure what his face looked like right now, but he knew it had to be a look of disgust because Spider-Man just continued to ramble about the ex-hero.

“Hello! The battle of New York? He flew a nuke into a wormhole and then the Avengers closed the portal on him - which was totally uncool by the way - and he still came back anyway. And he defeated the Mandarin after all those bombings happened and then there was that whole thing with the terrorist in Afghanistan and stopping that guy from Stark Industries and rescuing-” And Tony couldn’t help but groaning and rubbing his face when Spider-Man stopped mid-sentence.

Because Tony knew - could pinpoint the exact moment one of his identities clicked inside the teen’s head.

“You're Tony Stark. Oh, my God. I’m in Tony Stark’s apartment,” Spider-Man gasps, “I bled on Tony Stark’s couch. Oh, my God. How did I miss that? Holy-”

“Are you done?” Tony interrupts the revelation, glaring at the - once again - rambling teen.

“No. No, I am not done. I can’t believe I didn’t reconsider you before. Oh, my God. You’re the CEO of Stark Industries.” Spider-Man continues to freak out.

“Ex-CEO” Tony corrects, rubbing his temples to try and stave off an oncoming migraine.

“What?”

“I gave it to my old assistant Pepper. She’s better at it anyway. I told you, I’m just an over-glorified mechanic now.” Tony explains, causing Spider-Man to sputter in return.

“B-But why? You were the most famous inventor of all time until you just… disappeared.”

“If you think fame and notoriety are still the most important things in the world, you’ve got some growing up to do, kid.” Tony lecture. Although it wasn’t a very strong lecture with how tired and done with it all Tony sounded.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way I just… I go to a super nerdy school and I’ve been into tech my whole life. So, I - uhh - I totally followed your whole career when I was younger. It’s why I like Iron Man, too. He made himself into a hero, you know? He saw that things needed to change and so he changed them himself." Spider-Man explains.

Tony just stood there and stared at the teen, trying to process everything he was just told.

Tony had to keep reminding himself that Spider-Man didn't know; that no one knew. No one knew about his secret identity and that it was just a coincidence that Spider-Man happened to look up to Tony and his alter-ego.

That didn't make it any better, though.

Tony hated the fact that Spider-Man looked up to them. That he wanted to be like them. The kid needed to shoot higher for something, needed a better role model than Tony and Iron Man. Which was the conflicting part because this kid really needed a mentor and the only "hero" he just so happened to stumble upon was Tony.  

"I'm not the kind of guy you want to look up to, kid. Neither is Shellhead. Trust me." Tony voices out loud before turning and walking away. He figured the kid knew his way out himself. "Enjoy the suit."

*   *   *

It was until later that night when Tony's hunger got the better of him and he figured that Spider-Man had left a while ago and it was safe for him to that Tony left his workshop and came back out into the living room.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was gone when Tony reached the living room, and the only sign that the vigilante was in his home in the first place was the note sitting on his coffee table.

I think you're selling yourself short ex-CEO or not - Peter Parker

(Now you know my secret identity too. I only thought it was fair)

Tony didn't quite know what to do with that, but if Tony ripped the first part of the note off and kept it in his desk drawer - well - no one had to know.

*   *   *

It was another couple of weeks and, once again, there was no word from Spider-Man.

No, not Spider-Man. Peter Parker.

Almost as soon as Tony got his name, he went back down into his workshop and began researching anything he could find on the kid.

He found out that he went to Midtown, which in itself was pretty impressive, but he even managed to find all of the teen's robotics and decathlon awards, and his grades and GPA.

Okay, well, Tony didn't happen to stumble onto all of that, he probably did a little bit more hacking than he should have, but he was curious. Sue him.

Although the straight-A's and 4.0 really explain a lot about how Peter was able to get around doing all of this hero-ing and how he was able to go for so long without the proper resources. The kid was smart.

But, Tony also found some not-so-fun stuff. Like three specific death certificates.

He wasn't so shocked to find the death certificate of Ben Parker since Peter had already brought his Uncle up, but he was shocked to find death certificates for Richard and Mary Parker.

Something tight settled into Tony's chest when he found those and realized that the teen was an orphan just like he was; albeit a little younger.

After that, Tony stopped his stalking background check and decided that he would get the rest of whatever information from Peter himself.

Two days after he started his research, another knock came from Tony's front door.

Once again, Tony couldn't help but be paranoid at the sound, but quickly forced himself to relax when he reminded himself that the only person who comes to visit him is the Spider-Kid.

Sure enough, when Tony opened up the door, Peter was standing on the other side of the door, holding up a bag of cheeseburgers in one hand and a bag with a bunch of drinks and snacks in the other.

"There better not be mushrooms in that thing," Tony says in lieu of a greeting.  

"Excuse you. This is an all-American cheeseburger. There's lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, meat, and cheese and that's that." Peter scoffs.

"I've never respected you more, honestly," Tony says as he widens the door and steps aside so Peter could walk on in.

The teen gave him a big grin in return as he made his way into the apartment, quickly settling onto the couch like he had been coming over for years. Which considering the kid only really comes over when he's severely injured, Tony is beginning to feel like he's aged a few years.

After the kid hands out the food to both him and Tony, he began to make his way into the kitchen and pour them both a glass of water.

Tony couldn't help but watch with amusement, kind of shock, and touched at the same time that Peter was no longer afraid to make himself at home. Maybe it means the kid is going to start coming around more so Tony doesn't have to constantly worry about whether or not he's dead in an alleyway.  

Almost as soon as Peter set down the glasses of water, he was sitting down next to Tony and practically inhaling his burger.

"So good. A-plus. Really made the robbery worth it." Peter talks around the bite of burger in his mouth, completely missing the incredulous and somewhat angry look Tony was giving him.

"You got these at a robbery?"

"When you see a Shake Shake being held up, you gotta intervene. And if the owner gives you free food as a thank you then," Peter shrugs as he sets his bottle of sprite down, "the friendly neighborhood Spier-Man would never be impolite enough to say no."

Tony couldn't help but huff and shake his head at the teen's antics and the audacity he had to actually look smug about it all.

"And we can't have that, can we?" Tony continues the light banter they have going.

"No, sir," Peter replies, both of them instantly laughing once they caught each other's eyes.

"So, fix anything today?" Peter asks as Tony settles down onto the couch right next to the teen.

"Neighbor downstairs had her car malfunction; took a look at that for her today. Nothing fancy. How's the suit.?" Tony quickly changes the subject, hating talking about himself more than he needed to. That usually led to very important - very secretive - stuff getting out by accident.

"It's incredible! Like, seriously, Mr. Stark. It's the coolest thing ever, and it works so well, and I've been getting so many compliments. Did you see me trending on Twitter? That was so cool!" Peter bursts out, almost as if he was holding all of that in until Tony said something.

"Yeah, I saw that. Might have contributed to a few on the conspiracy theories." Tony smiles the weird warmth in his chest once again spreading at the sight of the happy teen.

"Are you serious? Mr. Stark." Peter groans. Tony had to try and choke down his laugh at the sight.

"My personal favorite was 'Spider-Man steal Daredevil's suit and cuts off horns'" Tony continues to tease, earning a whining type noise in return. "Hey, you'll grow. Probably."

"I retract my compliments effective immediately." Peter dryly says, making Tony give the kid another smirk.

"Sorry, no takebacks. Can't erase this memory." Tony says as he taps his temple before finally reaching for his weird robbery burger.

"Hey, Mr. Stark?" Peter hesitantly asks, gaining Tony's attention. "Why'd you sell your tower to the Avengers?" Peter asks once he was sure Tony was paying attention.

Which... that wasn't a question Tony was prepared to get asked.  

Tony stopped eating his burger and cleared his throat before actually answering. "They asked and I agreed. I was planning on moving SI operations anyway."

"So, it isn't true that you did some work for them?" Peter continues to question. Tony's heart instantly began to pound. He couldn't help but feel nervous as to where this line of questioning was about to go.

"Why do you say that?"

"Twitter." Peter shrugs before returning to his burger. And, of course, of course, Twitter would figure out viable information like that.

"You know, it's constantly surprising to me that more national secrets aren't revealed on the internet every day." Tony deadpans, causing Peter to gape at him.

"So you did?"

"I consulted on some of their tech. That's all. No biggie." Tony sighs, already knowing that Peter was going to make a huge deal about it and he was going to have to talk about it more than he already wants to.

"No biggie? It's a huge biggie! Did you work on their suits?" Peter rapidly questions, gasping when something dawned on him. "Is that how you were so good at mine? Did you work on the Iron Man armors?"

"Can't a man keep any secrets anymore?" Tony asks in the hope to be able to drop this conversation completely.

"Not if they involve the Avengers." Peter was quick to deny. All Tony could do was stare at this teen in annoyance.

What did this kid see in the Avengers that gave them all of his awe and respect?  Didn't he know that the avengers are some of the worst people out there? Apparently not, and tony was going to have to be the one to tell him.

"Why do you even care about the Avengers so much? Because I'm telling you, they're nothing to be fanboying about. They were dysfunctional, aggressive, and uncooperative. They preached about teamwork but were the first to turn on each other when the going got rough. And when things got bad, when people started dying because of their actions, they decided their own self-righteousness was way more important than the will of the entire world." Tony began to rant, getting so into finally being able to let out all the pent-up rage that he didn't even notice when Peter's face began to fall.

"They were called 'Earth's Greatest Defenders', but in the end, what did it all matter when everything that mattered to them disappeared. When even their so-called family didn't matter more to them than their pride." Tony finishes spitting down, Peter looking down at his lap with discomfort and hurt in his eyes.

"Just because they weren't perfect doesn't mean they weren't still great. Everyone has their bad side, but they still tried their best." Peter tries to defend, making Tony nod when he realized he was going to have to break this down and make Peter see his point.

"Okay, but what if what's right and wrong stopped being so simple? A guy starts a fight in the middle of the street; that's wrong. So you break it up. Easy right? Aliens invade the Earth. That wrong, right? So you defeated them." Tony waited until Peter showed he understand before continuing.

"But, what if, before they were defeated, you saw that you only got rid of one percent of the threat. That beyond them was something infinitely more terrifying just waiting for the perfect moment to attack. What if you knew that threat was imminent. What do you do?"

"You build your defense. You prepare." Peter confidently answers.

"But here's the thing; what lines do you cross to prepare? What boundaries do you have to set? The Avengers were a group of superpowered people thrown together without any foundation so when questions like those popped up, they didn't have enough faith in one another to resolve them without breaking apart. So, tell me then, what were they really thinking about? Their hearts? Or their pride?"

"The Avengers split up because of the Accord, didn't they?" Peter asks, slowly getting to the root of the real problem.

"The Accords were just the catalyst. In the end, it was betrayals on the inside that made them irreconcilable and what made half of them go into hiding and the other turn into fugitive still playing a vigilante on the down-low." Tony huffs before crumpling up the take-out bag in his hands, just to have something to do with them and to make his next admission easier.

"I've been around too many superheroes to be blind to the costs of it. And no one lost more than Iron Man."

"You know what happened to him?" Peter gasps. Tony just gave a wry smile as he nodded.

"He lost the love of his life, he lost his team, he was betrayed by his best friend, he lost everything until all he had left was a suit. But what purpose did that serve? When everything he fought for had slipped right through his fingers." Tony vents, trying as best as he could to reel in his emotions afterward.

"That's terrible," Peter whispers as he shrinks into the couch.

Tony doesn't really say anything after that, too shocked with how much better he felt. He finally feels like the tight knot that constantly sat in his chest has loosened; even if it was just the tiniest bit.

Tony hasn't once talked about everything that's happened. He's never brought up his and Pepper's breakup, what happened to him during the Accords, or even what happened after he went after Steve. No one knew.

Except now for this random-ass kid. And even though he thought it was about Iron Man and not Tony, having someone actually know and understand surprisingly helped Tony.

Maybe it was time for Tony to accept what had happened and call Rhodey.

"If you...," Peter tries to begin before clearing his throat and trying again, "if you hate superheroes so much, then why- why did you make me a suit?" The teen finally gets out. And for the first time since Peter began asking him about superheroes, Tony actually felt confident and sure of his answer.

"I've met a lot of heroes since my time with the Avengers. I've met magicians and aliens and enhanced, but I've never met anyone like you. If the Avengers had half the heart you did, I think the world would be a different place right now." Tony certainly says, giving a small and soft smile when he saw the teen blush under the blatant compliment.

"I'd given up on superheroes. I guess the jury's still out now, Peter."

"I don't know if I deserve that," Peter whispers, shaking his head.

"You want to be as good as Iron Man and I'm telling you you're better."

*   *   *

After that, it's like Tony can't get rid of Peter.

The teen quickly began to pop in weekly, just to check-in; or at least that's what he says it is.

And Tony would deny it to his last dying breath that he actually enjoyed the kid's presence. If anyone asked, he was annoyed every time but accepted it anyway. But secretly, deep down, he really did enjoy having Peter's company every week.

Tony hadn't realized how long he's been alone until he finally had someone to interact with.

Slowly but surely, Tony begins to learn a bit more about Peter and what makes him tick.

Peter lives with his Aunt currently; although she knows nothing about his "extracurricular" and he preferred to keep it that way. He had three really close friends -  Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, and Harry Osborn; let's just say Tony was a bit - read a lot - dramatic when he found out Peter was friends with an Osborn. He also found out that the kid was in tenth grade, which didn't help with the guilt Tony felt for actually encouraging Peter's behavior; although to make himself feel better, Tony just kept reminding himself that Peter was doing this way before he dropped into Tony's life, and if anything he was doing everyone a favor by helping out.

Taking everything into consideration, Peter seems to be a typical teenager. But there's still something behind the scenes, Tony's noticed.

There's always something a little lingering - wanting - behind Peter's eyes sometimes. Something a little dark behind all the shy looks Peter gives when Tony compliments or praises something good Peter has done.

Tony hates it - no one that young should look that haunted - and is officially deadset on making it all go away one day, or at least making it better and easier.

Currently, Tony was working on a project in his workshop, waiting for JARVIS to let him know when the teen got to the apartment.

By now, Peter is no longer shy about just waltzing into the apartment through the balcony door, and Tony has since stopped caring and learned to just leave it unlocked so the Spider-Kid could come in, but he still was working on something extremely delicate and the kid was too light-footed for Tony's liking.

The last thing Tony needed was for his location to be outed just because he got startled by a teenager and blew the whole building up.

'Sir, Spider-Man is requesting access.' JARVIS finally chimes in, the heads-up causing a small smile to form on Tony's face.

"Great! Tell him I'm waiting for him and let him in, J." Tony adjures while patting Dum-E on the head and taking the smoothie the bot was offering.

And Tony had tried to pay attention to when Peter walked into the lab, wanting to see the kid's eyes light up when he saw what had to of been a wet dream for the teen, but that was until Dum-E started trilling and trying to go after the smoothie he had just handed over.

"Don't you dare," Tony stops, holding a finger up to keep the bot in place. "Step away from the smoothie, Dum-E."

Dum-E just continued to chitter, nodding his head while Tony insistently shook his. "Nope, you already perfected it without the motor oil. That's overkill. You trying to kill your Dad?" Tony continues to argue with the bot.

"Aww Mr. Stark, he's just trying his best, aren't you?" Peter coos, alerting Tony to his presence.

"Hey, you, knock it off or you'll positively reinforce this nonsense." Tony scolds, although the overly-fond look he was giving took away most of the seriousness.

"You into chem now?" Peter asks once he gets over to the worktable Tony was at and looked through all the magnifying glasses.

"Actually, I'm trying to make exploding webbing for you," Tony announces, "but the process isn't going as smoothly as I thought," Tony admits. Peter on the other hand was practically bouncing out of his skin with excitement.

"Are you for real right now?"

"Realer than real, kid," Tony replies with faux seriousness.

"This is so crazy. I'm science-ing with Tony Stark. Ned's going to lose it." Peter continues to marvel.

Tony couldn't help but grin at the teen's excitement, handing him a pair of safety goggles. "How is he anyway? Has he gotten over dying from the suit?" Tony questions, making Peter snort.

"No way. He went on about that for weeks, but he's valid." Peter answers.

"And school? No trouble in minor paradise?" Tony continues to question, adding that as his contribution to the darkness in the kid's eyes for the day.

"No different than normal." Peter shrugs, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Tony.

"I take it 'normal' isn't usually slap your knee fantastic?" Tony aims for light-hearted.

"It's nothing. Just high school." Peter brushes off while fiddling with a screwdriver. That sad look was beginning to return in Peter's eyes, making Tony's mentor - not parental thank you very much, he didn't have any of those - instincts go haywire.

"You know," Tony begins, picking up a wrench and fiddling with that also, "I used to get bullied too when I was younger," Tony admits, figuring that this was what this was.

"No, you didn't." Peter denies, scrunching his face up in disbelief.

"Genius kid with a smart mouth and at least four years younger than everyone else in his classes? I'd be more surprised if I wasn't pushed around." Tony snorts.

"That sounds way worse. My thing really isn't a big deal." Peter defeatedly says.

"If it bothers you, then it's a big deal. Spill, kid." Tony genuinely says, poking Peter in the side with the wrench to try and get him to start talking.

"Honestly, Mr. Stark, it's nothing, it's just this kid... Flash," Peter finally begins to open up, "He's just mad that I 'stole' his spot on the Decathalon team and he thinks that making fun of me will make me leave or something, but it won't. But it doesn't make it any less sucky, and I thought that all the stupid stuff he said didn't bother me, but sometimes..." Peter trails off.

"You hear the stuff he says when you're already feeling kicked around?" Tony finishes for the teen, his voice sympathetic.

"Yeah. Exactly." Peter agrees, finally looking up at Tony.

"Yeah, that's the way that kinda stuff goes. No one's immune to thing like that, Pete, no matter how much we say we don't care." Tony says, and his point must be getting somewhat across because the teen looked back down at his lap, lip firmly tuck between his teeth.

"With that said though, everything that Flash kid told you? Automatically tossed in a trash can based purely on the fact that nothing a kid named Flash says can be accurate in any way." Tony teases to ease some of the tension in the room, smiling a bit when it seemed to work and got Peter to smirk. "Sorry not sorry, that's just a fact. It's all purely bullshit."

"But what if it's not." Peter blurts out, dropping his head right into his hands. And that - the fact that Peter believes some of the things this asshole says - that doesn't sit right with Tony.

"I guarantee non of the things he says about you are true. You said it yourself, he's jealous that you got something he didn't; and with a name like that, he's probably used to getting everything he's ever wanted his whole life, so the second it doesn't go his way, he throws a tantrum. It's not even about you. Not really. It's all about him and his own insecurities." Tony calmly rambles, wanting anything for this kid to realize his worth.

"Yeah, but it still sucks! It sucks, and I hate it, and I wish he'd just leave me alone!" Peter shouts, taking Tony back a bit. He's never heard Peter yell about something before, and Peter must have realized that because he instantly began apologizing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just- I'm just so frustrated. And I'm so over it, and I've never even done anything to him. And he just doesn't leave me alone."

"Hey, it's okay." Tony comforts, gently squeezing the teen's shoulder. "That guy's a jerk. Be upset. We can build a dummy right now and you can have at it after we tape his face on it." Tony continues to soothe.

"I don't think that'll help to be honest." Peter snorts.

The self-deprecating look in Peter's eye still lingered, sending thousands of alarms bell of in Tony's head telling him to fix it fix it fix it. Someone so good and kind-hearted shouldn't ever have this look, it killed Tony inside to see it. So, Tony did the only thing he knew how to do; he began to ramble.

"Peter, you fight crime as a hobby and still play Legos with your friends. You have a big heart and you're ridiculously smart. You're literally every parent's dream child and you're the only teenager in the world that's actually likable.  You're killing it on all fronts. And if you want me to go down to that asshole's house and scare him with some avengers tech, I'm game, but if you want to do cool science stuff he'll never be able to do in a million years, I'm game for that too."

"I'm the only teenager you know," Peter responds, the watery tone in his voice telling Tony that his point finally got across, but it was just better to focus on something else at the moment.

"Excuse you, I'm a well-connected man. I know teenagers. And they're all terrible." Tony jokes, taking the bait and allowing the subject to change.

"Except me." Peter points out, finally cracking a grin.

"Except you." Tony agrees, poking Peter in the forehead. "You're a cool kid, Peter Parker."

Peter just groaned and pushed Tony's hand away before arguing. "Do you know how uncool it is to be called cool by a senior citizen?"

"Banned. Blocked. Unfollowed." Tony says as soon as the forbidden "s-word" left Peter's mouth, pointing at the door.

Although, it was hard to be mad when the kid's infectious laugh rang throughout the walls of the lab.

*   *   *

It wasn't very often that Tony thanked his mind. Nine times out of ten his mind was betraying him and either sending him into a spiraling panic or into a spiraling depression; there really wasn't an in-between.

But every now and then, Tony's brain will supply him with an idea that he can't help but be grateful a million times over. Putting an AI into Peter's suit was one of those times.

At one-fifty-three in the morning, Tony got an alert from JARVIS, saying that Peter's AI in his Spider-Man suit was trying to reach him.

Tony quickly sat up in bed and demanded that JARVIS put her through.

"Karen?" Tony calls out, only slightly cringing at the random name Peter gave the AI.

'Mr. Stark, as per the baby monitor protocol I am to inform you that Peter's heart rate is currently at 148 beats per minute.' Karen informs, making Tony's heart sink at the news.

"What? Why? Is he hurt?" Tony questions, quickly hopping out of bed and putting clothes on.

'Peter currently is unharmed, although it appears that he's having what you would call a panic attack.' Karen informs, making Tony curse.

"Is he on his way here?"

'Yes, he is approximately thirty-eight seconds away.' Karen says, and sure enough, by the time Tony ran out to the living room, Peter was flipping onto the balcony.

Tony opened up the sliding glass door before Peter even had a chance to, hating the scene he saw before him. He hated that the kid had to go through all of this so young.

"Hey, kid." Tony lamely greets.

"Mr. Stark. I can't." Peter rasps. Tony just gives the kid a sympathetic smile before lightly placing his hand on Peter's arm.

"Yes, you can, but let's sit down first," Tony says, gently leading Peter over to the couch.

While Tony made sure the sliding door was just and the curtains were closed, Peter all but flopped on the couch and ripped his mask off of his face, gasping as if the thin material was suffocating him.

Before Tony could even get over to the teen and help him, Peter began to struggle out of his suit. The teen's jerky movements were doing nothing to help him though, instead, making the suit stick even more to his skin.

All it took was one swift tug, and the next thing they both knew, the suit was ripping clean in half.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Mr. Stark, I-I- the suit- your suit- I-" Peter began to gasp, Tony quickly brushing away his shock so he could walk in front of Peter. Honestly, the suit really was the least of his worries at the moment.

"Kid, hey, kid, listen to me." Tony tries to calm, grabbing Peter's face in both of his hands in an attempt to ground him.

"It's okay. You're okay. The suit's okay. Everything is okay." Tony firmly says. Peter just shook his head, effectively pulling it out of Tony's grasp. Tony's heart ached so deeply when he saw the tears pooling in the teen's eyes.

"No, it isn't. No, it isn't." Peter insists, dropping his head in his hands. "I messed up, Mr. Stark. I messed up really bad."

"Every single problem in the universe has a solution, Peter. We'll find it." Tony confidently says and his heart actually felt like it was shattering when he saw the tears begin to drip down Peter's wrists.

Figuring it was better to let Peter get it all out of his system and calm down before talking, Tony got up and made his way into the kitchen.

He started the usual tradition he and Peter had slowly developed, making sure a pot of coffee was beginning to brew and a kettle of water was boiling on the stove.

Once he was sure everything was being made, Tony went into his bedroom, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt for Peter to get changed in. They might be huge on the scrawny boy, but anything had to be better than sitting in his boxers.

Returning back to the living room, Tony exchanges Peter's suit for his clothes before heading right back to his lab. He looked over the suit while he walked, looking over the rip to see how bad it truly was.

He still honestly couldn't believe that the teen ripped it in half. It was defiantly going to take some fixing, but at least it'll keep Tony busy for a while.

"It's a quick fix. Trust me, the machine will sew it right back up." Tony reassures Peter about the suit once he heads back to the kitchen once again.

There wasn't a response, not that Tony was really expecting it, so Tony just made himself busy by making himself a cup of coffee and a hot chocolate up for Peter. He even made sure to add extra marshmallows in the cup along with some whipped cream, hoping that even the small gesture would be enough to help Peter feel better.

Tony took his familiar seat in the armchair across from the couch, holding out the mug of hot chocolate to Peter.

"It's not the suit that's bothering you, is it?" Tony guesses as Peter begins to take the offered mug.

No one said anything for a while, which was fine. Tony was more than happy to just sit there and wait for Peter to calm down and gather all of his thoughts. He just sat there and allowed the silence, occasionally turning his attention onto his coffee every now and then.

Eventually, Peter took a tentative sip of his hot chocolate - which Tony considered a huge win - before clearing his throat and whispering, "There was a fire today."

Tony just looked at him, making sure the teen knew he had his full attention.

"Karen told me about it and I went there as fast as I could, but when I- when I got there-" Peter continues, stopping to collect himself before he fell completely apart again, "the fire was- it was so big, Mr. Stark. It was- I'd never seen anything like that before and I just..." Peter trailed off.

"You froze." Tony finishes for the teen, having a hunch that was exactly what was happened. He's been there himself enough times to know for himself.

"Yeah, I froze. But then people were yelling and someone was screaming about their sister and I just- I just ran in there. And it was so smoky and everything was on fire and it was so hot, I thought I was going to die." Peter says, refusing to look up at Tony.

"And then I heard her screaming. And I tried to get up as fast as I could using the elevator shaft, but when I got to the third floor, I didn't- my senses were going haywire and I couldn't- it took me so long," Peter chokes, "when I found her-" Peter tried again, gasping and covering his mouth like he was trying to swallow the words back down. Tony just sat patiently, trying everything to hide his shattering heart from the teen; the last thing he needed was to make Peter feel guilty for something else he couldn't control.

"When I found her, she was on fire too." Peter finally gets out, the tears fully coming out along with the words. "She had passed out from the smoke and I just panicked. I was so scared- I didn't know what to do, but Karen just started listing off protocols and I rolled her in the carpet to put the fire out and then I grabbed onto her and I broke through the window, and I got her down, but her face-" Peter spits out all at once, almost as if once he got the words out he wasn't about to stop.

"She was my age, Mr. Stark. And now she has to go to school with burns all over her body because I couldn't get to her in time." Peter whimpers.

Tony just stared for a bit at Peter in awe. How could someone so small take on the guilt of the world? This kid was beating himself to a pulp because some girl now had scars. He didn't even care that without him there the girl wouldn't even be alive right now.

Tony couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't sit here and listen to this kid destroy himself anymore.

Slowly, Tony sat his coffee cup on the coffee table and made his way over to the couch. Almost as soon as Tony was sitting down next to Peter, he was pulling the teen on for a hug without even thinking.

For a second Peter just sat stock still in Tony's arms, making Tony think that maybe this wasn't the best idea. He's a grown man hugging some random teen and - yeah - maybe they've been getting closer lately, but he still was thirty-some years older; Peter probably thought he was some kind of creep.

But then Peter suddenly wrapped his arms around Tony tightly, burying his face into Tony's neck and officially breaking down.

Tony just held Peter in his arms, allowing him to get his grief out. The poor kid's shoulders trembled with how hard he was sobbing causing Tony to look up at the ceiling to make sure he didn't start crying with the kid.

He felt so helpless just sitting there while Peter was going through all this turmoil. The kid really deserved so much better and Tony had no idea how to give it to him.

Eventually, Peter's cries began to tamper off and his breathing began to slow, his body finally crashing from the lack of adrenaline and all the emotional distress he had just gone through.

"You saved that girl's life." Tony finally says once Peter's breathing settled enough for him to pay attention to what was being said. "If you hadn't been there, it would have been too late. You gave her a chance, Peter. Nothing in the world is more important than that." Tony earnestly says, wanting nothing more than to have his message get across.

Peter was at least hearing him because he tightens his arms around Tony once the words were floating out in the air.

"You did your best, kid. That's all you can ask from yourself." Tony continues to drill.

"But what if your best isn't good enough?" Peter wavers and - shit - wasn't that the million-dollar question? That was the same exact question Tony's been asking himself since Afghanistan.

Tony just took a deep breath and gave the answer that he wished everyone else would have given him when he asked the same thing.

"Then we keep on trying anyway."

*   *   *

"Where did the Avengers go?" Peter blurts out one night while they were working on web formulas together.

Tony didn't mean to, but he practically froze at the question. He's been trying not to freeze up every time Peter brought up the Avengers - because let's be honest, the teen is constantly talking about them - but usually Tony could tell when a conversation was steering over towards that subject.

He didn't even know what to do when Peter just blurted these kinds of questions out.

"No one knows. That's why it's called being in hiding, kid." Tony tries to brush off, forcing himself to relax and get back to work; although he was no longer focusing on the task at hand.

"You worked with them though - you know them - you don't have any idea?" Peter continues to push.

"If I had to put money on it, I'd say they were in Wakanda, but the hell if I know." Tony huffs, tugging his goggles off and tossing them onto the workbench.

"Thor's in Asgard, though; that I can tell you for sure. And Bruce..." Tony trails off as he thinks about his long-lost friend. As he thinks about the past two years without him, about where he could possibly be, if he was even still alive. He honestly missed him, even though he tried his best not to think about it too much since it always led to memories about them.

"Were you two friends?" Peter cuts through Tony's thoughts, making the scientist look back up at the teen. Tony just stared a bit before huffing, multiple memories of him and Bruce flashing through his mind.

"Yeah, we were. We worked on some projects together. It was fun." Tony says, giving the bare minimum of information like always. Except, like always, Peter continued to gush and talk about the subject.

"That's so cool! Dr. Banner is, like, the biggest expert on gamma radiation ever! That must've been crazy!" Peter practically drools over this bit of knowledge, slowly getting Tony excited about all the good memories he and Bruce had.

"He was really good at the tech stuff, too," Tony adds, his smile slowly growing as he continued to think back on his time with Bruce. "And he was really funny. He didn't mean to be half the time, but there was just something about him."

"Do you think that... do you think that any of them will ever come back?" Peter hesitantly asks, once again bringing up a question that Tony constantly thought about to himself.

Tony stopped to think about it for a second, about what it would be like if the Avengers came back. On one hand, it would be great to have a backup if that threat from above came down, but on the other hand, Tony knew they wouldn't be much help anyway; they would probably be too busy arguing with each other to even save a single person.

"I don't know. A part of me hopes they do, a part of me hopes they don't." Tony honestly answers before turning towards the teen. "Do you?"

"The world needs the Avengers, Mr. Stark. It always has." Peter replies without even needing to think about it.

A sick pit of dread began forming in Tony's stomach when he realized that this was probably the answer most people were going to have towards the Avengers. That, yeah, there were several thousand people who hate the Avenger's guts and everything the Avengers stood for, but there's also probably several thousand people who look up to the Avengers. Who's counting on the Avengers to be there when another threat attacks Earth; and none of them were to be found.

They were going to let several thousand people down once again. That was enough to make Tony want to run for the hills again.

"I think they'll come back." Peter confidently says, breaking Tony out of his downward spiral. "They're heroes. They're the heroes. If something happens, there's no way they can just sit back. That's not what heroes do."

"Not everyone who wears a suit is a hero, Pete. Pretty sure Captain America said that." Tony says, repeating the - unfortunately - familiar words.

"Well, then he doesn't know what he's talking about because the Avengers are heroes even without the suits. I know it." Peter firmly says, a silence falling on the two afterward.

The weird warm sensation was spreading in Tony's chest once again at the thought of Peter actually thinking Tony was something worthy of the hero title; even if he didn't actually know that he was inadvertently talking about Tony.

"And I don't know if I can do it alone. What if something big comes against and it's just... me?" Peter questions in a small voice, not even looking up at Tony. Tony was kind of glad, though, that Peter wasn't looking at him because he knew that he wouldn't be able to give the comforting look the teen was looking for.

He didn't want Peter to know the truth; that he was terrified of that exact situation happening.

"Then we'll figure it out." Tony eventually answers.

"We? No offense, Mr. Stark, but you being on the scene would just stress me out more." Peter huffs, and despite the matter of the subject Tony couldn't help but crack a small and knowing smile, finding the fact that he could be out there with Peter and the teen would have no idea amusing.

"You'd be surprised, Pete."

*   *   *

To say they were all surprised three months later when a gigantic spaceship appeared across the sky was an understatement. Well, Tony wasn't as surprised as he was terrified.

Tony was at work when he just felt a shift in the air. Dread was quickly filling up throughout his body until he could no longer ignore the paranoia and had to look outside.

As soon as he got outside, a ring of sparks began to form, making Tony jump back a bit; especially when a man began to walk out of the sparks.

"Tony Stark? I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me now." The man announces in a no-nonsense tone.  Tony just continued to stare at the man in complete shock, unsure of what the strangest part of this whole thing was; the fact that the guy's actual name was Strange, that he just walked through an actual portal or the fact that he was dressed in a tunic and cloak.

"Oh, uh, I know you're Iron Man, by the way." Doctor Stephen Strange adds as if that was going to make Tony want to go with him even more than before.

"I'm sorry, who the fuck are you, exactly?" Tony questions, his heart sinking at the idea of someone knowing his alter-ego.

"We need your help. It's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."

The next thing Tony knew, he and Bruce were being reunited, another wizard was telling him some messed up version of the big bang, and now they were fighting aliens in the park.

The threat - the threat - that Tony has been worrying over for almost ten years is here, and Tony really didn't know how to feel about it.

Part of him was relieved - the wait was over and he no longer had to live with the anxiety of guessing what day it was going to happen - and part of him wanted to throw up and keel over because the wait was over - it was here. Everything Tony has been preparing for was finally happening.

All of a sudden, one of the big aliens with a hammer knocked Tony out of the air, slamming him to the ground and getting ready to bash his armor in. Tony made sure to turn his back to the gigantic hammer, hoping that would help with the blow a bit, but the blow never came.

Tony quickly whipped around, trying to see what stopped the alien, sighing a bit when he saw Peter clad in his Spider-Man suit, holding the alien's hammer back.

Tony doesn't even know why he was shocked about the fact that Peter was out there to help, they've literally had discussions about Peter helping against the next threat and his fear of not being enough.

Tony just hates that Peter has to get roped up into something so big at so young.

"Iron man?" Peter whispers in shock once he turned around and actually saw who it was that he saved.

"No time for intros, Kid," Tony says, pushing Peter out of the way of where the alien's arm was swinging.

"Y-Yeah! Of course!" Peter agrees, webbing the alien up so Tony could blast him with his repulsors.

"What's this guy's problem?" Peter questions.

"There's a wizard with a very important necklace and these guys wanna steal it." Tony dryly replies, watching as Peter got flung by a well-timed punch. Before Tony could even react completely and make sure the teen was okay, Strange was zooming past them completely unconscious and on a slab of floating concrete.

"Kid, that's the wizard. I'm going to need you to grab him, can you do that?" Tony instructs, still trying to focus and destroy the stupid alien in front of him.

"Yeah! On it! I won't let you down!" Peter assures, quickly swinging off after Strange.

Tony continued to blast the alien with his repulsors, getting more and more frustrated as time continued and he wasn't any closer to defeating the damn creature.

"Mr. Iron Man, sir? I-I'm being beamed up!" Peter calls after a bit, shooting fear all throughout Tony's body.

"Hang on, kid! I'm coming." Tony promises, zapping a statue in half, hoping that it falls on the alien would be enough to knock it out.

Thankfully, sensing the urgency, Strange's sidekick sucked the alien into a portal to some other place, giving Tony the chance to blast off in the air and chase Peter.

"Mr. Iron Man? I don't- I can't breathe." Tony hears Peter gasps, the fear building the higher they went. The last thing he needed was for the ship to go too far up into the atmosphere; his suit still could only fly up so far no matter how much he worked on it.

"It's the air, it's thinning out," Tony explains, mostly to remind himself that something needed to be done right then and there. "You gotta let go, Pete. I'll catch you." Tony says as a last resort.

Tony knew as soon as he said Peter's name, the kid would put two and two together, but he couldn't find it in him to care as he continued to push his suit to its limits.

"Mr... Stark?" Peter wheezes out before falling off the side of the ship. As soon as Tony saw that Peter was falling he commanded JARVIS to let loose the nanite Spider-Man suit he's been working on for the past couple of months.

Tony didn't let himself even breathe until he saw the nanites wrap around Peter and the teen was laying safely in Tony's arms.  

"I got you." Tony breathes out, quickly flying them and landing back safely on the spaceship. Figuring that the jig was up, tony flipped his faceplate up and began looking Peter all over to make sure he was okay.

"Kid, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Me? What about you? You're-You're Iron Man! You've been Iron Man this whole time and you never told me!" Peter accuses causing shame and guilt to wash over Tony. He never wanted to lie to the kid, but admitting who he really was just wasn't in the cards at the time.

"I know, and we can talk about it later. But, right now, I have to go grab Strange and you need to go home." Tony sternly says, making sure there was no room in his tone for arguing. Not that that ever stopped Peter.

"No way! I can't leave you here. I-"

"You've done enough, kid. And I can't let anything happen to you." Tony says as he ruffles Peter's hair before pulling away. "JARVIS?" Tony calls out, and before Peter could continue to protest, a parachute is bursting out of the back of his suit, causing him to fly backward and back to the ground.

Once he was sure that Peter was gone and wasn't going to head up to space with them, Tony turned back to the wall of the spaceship and began lasering a hole that he could get through.

Tony quickly began walking all around the spaceship, eventually finding the middle of it where Strange was. The weird Squidward-looking alien was ranting about the stone around Strange's neck, pushing sharp crystals into Strange's skin.

Tony's attention was ripped off of Strange when he felt a tapping on his shoulder, making him whip around and get his repulsor ready. Tony sighed a bit when he saw that it was only Strange's cloak from before, but it didn't do much to settle him. Especially when a familiar Spider-Kid began to slowly drop down in front of his face.

"Peter? What the hell are you doing here?" Tony all but screams.

The reality of the situation quickly began to sink in, leaving Tony breathless. Peter was here. On this spaceship. That was currently in space.

There is no going home after this, this is it. Tony was fully ready to die up in space, seeing this fight to the very end whether he makes it out alive or not. But everything changes with Peter here. He couldn't prepare to die when he has an actual child to look out for and make sure he gets back to earth safely.

"I couldn't just leave you! How could I do that?" Peter basically cries, giving Tony a pleading look; although Tony wasn't going to give in to it.

"Peter, this isn't a trip to Coney Island. This is a one-way ticket, and now you're-"

"This is a fight for the world. That's why you're here, aren't you?" Peter continues to push, making all of the emotions that were brewing inside of Tony bubble over.

"I'm here for you. I'm here because I've known this day was coming for years and it's been taunting me in the back of my mind for ages, and when Bruce and Strange found me I knew I had to do something, but I also knew that it couldn't be you." Tony rants, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath in, trying not to blow up too much at the kid. "You've been talking so much about being worried about doing things on your own, and I knew if you saw this ship, you'd come running. And I couldn't let that happen. But, now you're here anyway and this is just another prime example of me being a Class A screw-up."

"I thought I'd given you this whole hero shtick, you know. After everything happened with Steve and the others, I couldn't do it anymore. And, now, I finally feel like I have a reason to put this suit on and believe in something and now you're here risking your life, and do you see how this is a problem?" Tony stresses, needing Peter to see it realistically instead of having his hero-complex clouding his judgment.

"Mr. Stark," Peter begins, his expression faltering as he tries to hold it together long enough to get his point across to Tony, "that's how I feel about your life too, you know. And I know you want to protect me, but who's going to protect you?"

And, damn, what was Tony supposed to say to that?

He was so far from being used to having a team that actually wanted to have each other's backs instead of every man or themselves. If he had someone this determined on his team, including Strange - who was also extremely stubborn - maybe this could work. Tony would just keep as close of an eye as he could possibly have on Peter.

Anything to get the kid back home to his Aunt after all of this.

After a few moments, Tony relented, pulling Peter close and brainstorming a plan with the teen to get Strange free. For once, the kid's pop culture references were coming in handy, because they were able to suck the alien out through the wall and save Strange.

Now they were on an express route to Titan. A whole 'nother fucking planet. With Peter right by Tony's side.

This is going to be a shitshow. That was all that went through Tony's mind on a loop until a few hours later when Peter finally nudged him in the shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me you were Iron Man?" Peter finally asks the question Tony was preparing for since they got on this stupid ship.

"I was done with it. I tried to save the world and it cost everything. So I tried to run." Tony admits.

"But if you hated superheroes so much, why did you help me?" Peter asks in a tiny voice, making Tony's heartache once again over the fact that the teen still didn't understand what Tony saw in him. As if Tony hasn't been trying to drill it in the past couple of months.

"Because you're someone who deserves the title." Tony smiles, figuring It was time to tell Peter the truth of how he knew about Spider-Man before even meeting him.

"I'd been looking into you before you crashed into my window. I keep tabs on all the new heroes that crop up, just to make sure they're coloring between the lines, so to speak. I guess maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better like the world wasn't going to die without us punching our way through all our problems. I felt like the city was in good hands, and then I met you, and I knew it was." Tony says, sparing a glance at Peter and having to look away when it looked like the kid was about to start crying.

"The Avengers disappeared because of all sorts of reasons. Thor left to find infinity stones, Bruce ran away because he was afraid of the 'monster' inside of him, Natasha needed a family and I wasn't enough, Clint broke the law, and Steve and I lost all trust so he left and took everyone with him. And when they left, I couldn't look at the suit anymore." Tony continues to word-vomit, finally catching Peter's eye.

"I lost sight of what made me put it on in the first place until you came in. The world is in danger and I can stop it. So I have to do something about it." Tony can't stop the smirk from tugging on the corners of his lips after that bit. "Sound familiar?"

Peter just gave a watery smile in return. "A little."

"I've always been better when I have someone to fight for. I want to protect the world, but I also want to protect you from all this," Tony waves his hand towards the window that showed nothing but empty space, "you don't deserve to be here, Peter. You should be out living teen life, worrying about Spanish tests and girls, and I'm going to make sure you go home to it." Tony promises.

And even though it was a gigantic promise, Tony was willing to give his life to see it through.

"We'll both go home." Peter firmly says, his tone of voice leaving no room for argument. "Because we both deserve it. And I'm sorry about everything that happened with the Avengers, but I'm not going to go anywhere. It's my turn to be there for you now Mr. Stark."

And what the hell was Tony supposed to say to that?

All Tony could do was ruffle Peter's hair and try to push aside his breaking heart with only one thought running through his brain.

I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to.  

*   *   *

Just being on Titan was enough to have the hair on Tony's body standing on end. Just the reminder that they were in space, that this is the same place Tony saw in his nightmares, was enough to have his anxiety through the roof, but the dread in his body only got worse when Thanos arrived.

The mad titan was exactly that; mad. Almost as soon as Thanos landed on the planet, he was raving about his lost home on the same planet they were standing on; although Tony couldn't care enough to listen to his whole "tragic backstory villain spiel" and apparently neither could everyone else because Stephen was quickly rising with magic swirling around his hands.

Taking that as his cue, Tony blasted off in the air, throwing an entire metal column right on top of Thnaos' head. In retaliation, Thanos began to attack Tony with thousands of black projectiles, which was apparently enough to fuel Peter's fury because the teen began to launch webs into the mad titan's eyes.

Tony tried everything he could while everyone else began to fight to keep an eye on Peter and make sure the teen wasn't getting too deep into the fight. He didn't want to get in the middle of what Peter was doing so he didn't accidentally get him hurt, but it was impossible not to step in once Thanos grabbed the teen by the throat and crushed him into the ground.

Tony instantly saw red and was no longer accountable for his actions. He quickly began to blast Thanos, throwing a bunch of explosives all around him, seething, even more, when he threw Peter away like he was nothing.

Thanos used one of the stones to redirect all of the explosives back at Tony, causing Peter to get amped up once again and run back over to where they were. The teen webbed up Thanos' gauntlet to limit his use of the stones, once again getting thrown to the side.

Tony grabbed a huge chunk of the spaceship and threw it right in Thanos, causing him to tumble to the ground.

Once everyone realized this was the exact moment they needed, they jumped right into action. Strange wrapped the gauntlet up in his magic, Quill threw in a device that pulls Thanos' other hand apart so both his arms were spread out, and Peter began to web up Thanos' chest to try and keep him down.

As soon as Tony was sure Thanos was under control, he flew down and grabbed onto the gauntlet, fully ready to begin yanking on it.

"Sleep." Mantis commands after sitting on Thanos' shoulders, holding her fingers over his temples to make him fall into the trance.

"Peter, get over here. We gotta be quick, she can't hold him much longer." Tony instructs once Thanos for sure stopped resisting it all. Peter dropped his webs and ran over to where Tony was, both of them pulling on the gauntlet with all of their strength.

"Not so strong now, are you?" Quill gloats as he begins walking up to everything, making Tony roll his eyes.

"Alright, toot your own horn later, space-boy, come help us pull this thing off." Tony grits, the gauntlet still only moving an inch off of Thanos' hand.

"He has my girlfriend, I want to know where she is," Quill explains, making Tony's frustration reach its boiling point.

"He won't be answering anything right now, the second we have this thing, though, you'll be able to as him whatever you want. Come on, already!" Tony screams, knowing if something didn't happen right now, this whole plan was going down the drain.

"Quill, I can't hold on much longer." Mantis gasps.

Finally realizing that he needed to give it up, Quill clenched his teeth and reluctantly began helping Tony and Peter yank on the gauntlet. It slowly began to move further, but Tony knew he was going to need a bit more manpower to get it completely off.

"Hey! Blue!" Tony shouts, gaining Nebula's attention. "Wanna help out?" Tony rhetorically asks.

Nebula quickly got the message and ran over to them, helping them all give one last pull. The gauntlet finally came off, causing all four of them to go flying backward.

For a while, Tony just laid on the ground with the gauntlet wrapped firmly in his arms, just trying to process what had exactly happened.

"We did it," Tony whispers in disbelief, "holy shit.

The victory was short-lived, though, because Strange's voice quickly rang through. "Stark! We can't let him get hold of it again."

Knowing exactly what Strange was telling him, Tony got up on his feet and chucked the gauntlet up in the air, grabbing Thanos' hand to help hold him down afterward. Strange didn't waste any time to fly forward and grab the gauntlet; disappearing in sparks of orange once it was all in his clutch.

For a moment, nothing happens. No one really dares to move, trying to figure out if they really did it or not; if it really was that easy.

Tony was looking over his shoulder when it happened - when Quill began to question Thanos once again about his girlfriend - looking Peter up and down just to reassure himself that Peter was still there with him and that he was successful in keeping the teen safe-ish.

All of a sudden, a fight begins to break out, Tony turning back around to see Quill and Drax shooting their guns to try and stave off Thanos' fury.

Thanos - having realized that his gauntlet was now gone - was going on a rampage, tossing everyone who tried to attack him away like they were nearly a piece of paper. He even managed to throw Mantis directly into the ground so hard that the gravel underneath her splintered.

"Stay back, Peter. I mean it." Tony sternly commands. He spent all day making sure the teen made it out of this alive, he wasn't going to risk everything now that they were so close to being sone with all of this.

Tony had his faceplate materialize back over his face, taking a deep breath before going in on Thanos.

Tony made the ovular knife he built within the suit appear out of his wrist, slashing at the mad titan before him. While he was doing that, Tony made all of the missiles loaded in his back shoot at Thanos so he wouldn't be aware of the rest of the attacks coming his way.

Taking Thanos' confusion as his opportunity, Tony threw a souped-up widow's bite at Thanos, making him crumble to his knees. Tony didn't waste time in punching Thano's through some of the rocks there, creating a punching match between the two of them.

Eventually, Tony was able to get a strong enough hit in, sending Thanos to the ground right in front of Nebula. The poor, blue girl didn't even hesitate before taking her sword and stabbing her father clean through his heart, and ending the fight once and for all.

Tony loomed over the purple body, panting and trying to hold himself up now that the adrenaline was leaving him.

Before he could stumble to the ground, Peter was right there, holding him up and giving him a look of adoration and raw love.

"You did it, Mr. Stark. We did it." Peter says, and all Tony could do was pull the teen in for a tight hug and let out a short huff of disbelief.

They did it. It was officially over.

Tony's nightmare that has been living with him, breathing over him, controlling his life, for the past six years, was finally gone.

They did it.

"Yeah. We did." Tony breathes out, still shaking his head in disbelief. "We did it."

"Now let's go home."

*   *   *

Tony was in trouble almost as soon as he got back.

Rhodey and Happy were both waiting for him once he and Peter got back to his apartment, both men looking worried beyond belief.

Rhodey just lectured Tony about how stupid he was going into space alone and how worried they all were while Happy silently agreed and wrapped up all of Tony's injuries.

Rhodey was still lecturing Tony even after Happy finished bandaging him up, making the scientist huff and pull his oldest friend in for a hug. That managed to successfully stop Rhodey from berating him anymore and just left him thankful that Tony was there, alive in his arms.

Since everyone was a bit more settled, Tony was able to finally introduce Rhodey and Happy to Peter, only slightly regretting it when Rhodey pulled Tony to the side and demanded to know if Peter was his secret love child or not.

Eventually, everyone left, needing to get back to responsibilities that the battle only made worse, but Tony was a bit surprised when Peter came back the next day; he figured the kid's Aunt would want him to stay in the apartment for months on end considering he disappeared for the whole day of the battle.

Peter explained that there were quite a few people injured by all the flying debris, though, so his Aunt has been working overtime at the hospital trying to get everyone taken care of.

Of course, that sent Tony into overprotective dad mentor mode - despite him still being bandaged up on the couch - making sure that Peter was comfortable and had everything he needed; even though the kid was adamant that he was able to care for himself for a bit while his Aunt was gone and he only really wanted to check and see how Tony was.

Before they could really even get settled, though, Pepper was barging into the apartment completely unannounced.

Tony just stared at his ex-girlfriend, who stared back, confused about why she was there until she began to shake her head.

"You wonderful idiot." Pepper finally says, plopping down on the couch next to Tony and grabbing his hand.

"I'm so glad you're okay. When I heard about everything that was going on here I just knew that you were going to get involved with it and I just had to get on the next plane and come out here to see if you were okay." Pepper admits, stunning Tony into silence and prompting her to continue.

"I always knew you weren't going to stop until everything that was haunting you was taken care of, and as much as it killed me having to watch you constantly put yourself into the ring of fire, I'm so glad to be able to see you become the man I knew you always were," Pepper says, gently taking Tony's hand into hers.

"I'm so glad to see you be able to rest, now."

Tony wasn't even sure if he could say anything to that, his throat closing in response to all of Pepper's kind words and with the realization of how much he truly missed her presence.

It's not until later on in the day - several hours later when he and Pepper ran out of things to catch up on and Pepper had sent him to bed - that Tony realized Peter had left.

Although, Peter didn't allow too much time in-between for Tony to begin missing him, because the teen was back the very next day and was adamant about taking care of him.

"Kid, I'm fine, I promise." Tony exasperatedly says as Peter brings out an omelet and a cup of coffee made exactly how Tony liked it.

"Any more of this overbearing nonsense and I'll have to go find another bad guy's ass to kick." Tony threatens once Peter begins to change his bandages. Although, Peter must not have appreciated the faux threat because he glared right at tony as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Don't even joke," Peter says before settling down on the couch next to Tony, stiff as a board.

Tony just continued to stare at Peter, watching as the teen would glance at him before looking away and fighting his shirt, only to repeated the process.

"What?" Tony huffs.

"Nothing! It's nothing!" Peter tries to deny it, deflating a bit when he saw the unimpressed and unconvinced look on Tony's face.

"Okay, it's not nothing, but it's not a big deal," Peter relents a little, hunching in on himself as he asks his question. "I was just wondering if... if this means Iron Man's back."

Which, out of all of the questions Peter had about Iron Man, this was the easiest one for tony to answer.

"Yeah. I'm back." Tony replies without hesitation. "I used to think it was about the suit, that that was the special thing. The heroic thing. But it isn't. I am Iron Man, and I always will be." Tony honestly says, letting Peter in on what he was thinking about for the past couple of days.

Looking over at the teen, Tony saw Peter smiling so wide at the conformation that Tony was almost positive the kid's face would split in two. The reaction just made Tony huff and roll his eyes, fully ready to dismiss everything he had said.

"Plus, someone has to keep an eye out on you. I have a heart condition, you should know that by now." Tony teases, making Peter fake groan.

"Oh, my God, you just want to babysit me!" Peter pretends to complain, the happiness shining in his eyes giving his true feelings away.

"What can I say? You're a handful, Parker." Tony continues to tease, grabbing the cup of coffee Peter had made for him. "Sorry to cramp your style." Tony apologizes, despite not actually feeling sorry.

"Nah, you fit just right, Mr. Stark."

*   *   *

Two Months Later 

*   *   *

'Mr. Stark, it appears, Peter's vitals are entering dangerous levels.' Karen chimes in, making Tony put down his soldering iron.

"Pull up his vital readings for me, will ya, baby girl?" Tony asks, sighing when he read over Peter's vital signs. "Put him through for me, please, Karen."

"Hey, Mr. Stark!" Peter greets as soon as Karen connects them, trying to keep a smile on his face to convince Tony that he was alright.

"You can quit the charm, I see your oxygen levels decreasing by the second," Tony replies woodenly, completely unimpressed with the teen at the moment. Of course, Peter just continued to chuckle awkwardly, still trying to convince Tony that everything was hunky-dory.

"It's fine. Everything's fine! I'm just- you know - on the back of a helicopter. But it's chill! Haha, get it." Peter jokes, wincing when there was no response.

Finally, realizing that if Peter was already that far into it, he wasn't going to be able to let the whole mission go, Tony sighed.

"Bring 'em down, Spiderling, and then come over so I can check on you." Tony eventually relents.

"Yes! Okay! Gotcha!" Peter agrees, nodding so hard to show his understanding Tony was surprised his head didn't pop clean off.

"Be careful, kid," Tony warns.

"Always, Mr. Stark!"

Tony sat there for a second after the call ended, rubbing his face and letting all his worry flow out with the deep breath he released.

"Karen, connect with JARVIS and give me a live feed of the fight," Tony commands as he begins putting his tools away, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to focus on anything else other than making sure Peter was safe.

‘Will do!’ The A.I agrees, a holographic video popping up right after.

Tony didn't tear his eyes off of the video for even a second, watching every movement to make sure Peter was doing okay; he even had one of his suits on standby just in case Peter needed him to step in and help.

Once the fight seemed to be wearing down, Tony made his way out to the living room and began ordering some take-out, knowing for a fact that the spider-kid was going to be starving and attempting to eat him out of house and home if he didn't do so.

Timing it perfectly had Tony paying for the take-out just as Peter was coming in through the balcony.

"Is that Thai? Yes!" Peter cheers once Tony turns around, making the older man tut.

"Ah, ah, ah, first, injury report."

"I'm fine! Promise. Even ask Karen." Peter groans, Tony looking the kid up and down just to be sure.

"Fine, I'll believe you. But I will be checking later." Tony relents, only because he watched the video and didn't see anything too life-threatening occurred. "Now, go grab some plates; I'm starving."

"Where's Miss Pepper? She's usually home by now." Peter points out while doing what he was told.

"She has her hands full with the whole 'Iron man is revealed to be yours truly' thing." Tony frowns, shaking his head as he takes the offered plate. "I swear Stephen did it on purpose; dropping us in the middle of the city like that."

Peter just snorted before responding, "I really don't think that was what he was thinking about. I feel like it was more the infinity stones he had? The ones he had to scatter to keep the entire universe safe? Remember that?"

"Details." Tony brushes off as they began to dig into the food and pile their plates as high as they would go.

As they did so, Tony couldn't help but begin to think about everything. About every single little thing that he had now all because of one little thing.

How his biggest nightmare - the thing that constantly dictated every decision in his life - was finally over, how he and Pepper were finally able to talk things out and get back together, how he was happily Iron Man and people actually knew and were happy about it. How he was no longer so lonely that he had no idea how he was going to get by day by day. All because of one little thing.

All because some random ass kid from Queens broke into his apartment and almost bleed out on his couch.

Tony couldn't hold his laugh in at the realization even if he wanted to.

"What?" Peter questions, making Tony laugh even harder at the defensiveness in the teen's tone.

"Nothing. It's nothing. I'm just remembering that you broke into my place and then tried to offer to buy me a new couch."

"Hey! I was stabbed and I was tired and, in my defense, you have the same exact apartments!" Peter defends before looking back down at his plate and mumbling, "And I totally would've bought you a new couch."

Looking at the teen, Tony couldn't feel any more grateful than he did right there. Peter saved him in more ways than one and Tony was almost positive the kid had no idea about it; which didn't sit right with Tony.

"I was dying when you met me. I know I didn't look it, but deep down, where everything counted, I was a mess. But you inspired something in me, kid. And I think it's important you know that. I wasn't alright, and now," Tony gave the stunned teen a small smile, "well, I think I'm doing pretty okay."

Tony didn't even have time to prepare before Peter was launching himself at him and wrapping him in a tight hug.

"You changed my life, Mr. Stark. Even from way before I met you. And I never say it, but thanks for always being in my corner. You've never let me down. Ever. And you're the only- the only one who gets it. Really gets it, I mean." Peter rambles in return, Tony holding the teen as close as he could.

"Jesus, when did this get so mushy." Tony jokes. Just because everything else has changed and Tony was getting better, doesn't mean that he was getting better with feelings and emotions.

"Well, you started it." Peter laughs as he pulls away.

"Hush you. And hurry up and finish, I have a cool project in the workshop waiting." Tony dangles the offer, making Peter perk up instantly.

"Do we get to make things explode?"

"Of course we are. What do I look like to you, a heathen?" Tony replies as if suggesting any other type of project was completely preposterous.

"Okay! Okay! I'm almost done."

"God, finally. Then I'll get the hot chocolate started and-" Tony begins to say.

"-I'll make the coffee." Peter finishes, making Tony smile once again.

Later on in the day, when they've made enough explosives to blow NATO out of the water, Peter decided that them actually managing to get a couple of lines of code written was a good stopping point.

Tony watched as the kid began to put on his backpack, deciding that it was now or never to give him the envelope he's been holding onto for weeks now.

Peter just stares at Tony curiously, which meant that Tony got to see the exact moment what was in the envelope clicked in Peter's head.

Peter quickly began to rip the envelope open, sucking in a quick breath of air when he pulled out a key.

"I figure it was time to stop breaking in whenever you want to come over. Consider this an official open-door invitation." Tony shrugs, hoping that if he remained nonchalant Peter won't make it a gigantic deal.

"Mr. Stark, that's-"

Tony instantly held up a finger to stop Peter from finishing his sentence, knowing exactly what the teen was about to say. "If you say it's too much I might have to throw out all your hot chocolate."

Peter just laughed at the fake threat, knowing Tony wouldn't even try to do anything of the sort. "You wouldn't. But what I was going to say before you just assumed you knew everything was finally. Scaling the building every time was getting really lame."

"You know what, I take it back. Give it here, Parker." Tony teases, pretending to hold his hand out expectantly. In return, Peter let out a cackle as he jumped away from Tony, practically booking it out of the lab.

"No take-backs!" Peter yells, turning back around right before walking out the door completely. "And I'm coming over early on Tuesday to help you with your dinner party thing, don't forget!" Peter reminds.

"Well it doesn't matter, does it? Just let yourself in." Tony says, his chest warming at the smile the teen gave him in return as he left Tony alone once again in his workshop.

For several years, Tony had been alone. He knew he was going to be alone the day he decided to disappear and to run away from all of his problems until they all eventually caught up to him. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart.

But now, as he stood there all alone in his workshop, for the first time in a very long time, Tony felt anything but.

Tag List: @spideyspeaches @lost-lunar-wolf @joyful-soul-collector @i-love-my-selfinserts @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm

[thisisawonderfulusername]

let's save the world

season one, episode four

five hargreeves x reader

summary: after the break in, five comes back with information, and you two go to check it out.

trigger warning: cursing, drinking, a fluffy moment 👉 👈

word count: 2.5k

a/n: damn, already part four O-O. i don’t really have much to say, so, enjoy!

after getting attacked by the commission assassins, you had gone up to five’s room and passed out on the bed, not even taking the time to clean or patch it up. you told yourself that it would be fine for the night, though there was a nagging voice in the back of your head, warning of the possible infection, but you inevitably pushed it away.

your morning wasn’t too great. you were shaken violently to be woken up, and you sat up quickly, hissing and grabbing onto your leg when you felt the pain the coursed through it. looking up at five, you glare at him. “what the fuck?”

“i take it you didn’t find any clues?” he questions, the smallest hint of a smirk on his face as you groan softly. of course he would do this. you knew it meant sitting in that van all day, he actually found something, and he was ready to rub it in.

leaning on your arm to reach for the med kit, you don’t meet his eyes. “no, i didn’t.” you mutter, opening the box and pulling out the supplies to finally patch up your leg. “i assume that you did?”

glancing at him as you doused a clean rag in rubbing alcohol, you raise an eyebrow. “yup.” he grins, and you roll your eyes, pulling your skirt up a bit to pull the make shift tourniquet off and reveal the wound from the glass that so rudely decided to cut through your flesh.

“how did that happen?” five questions, cringing slightly at the sight of the injury that you quickly placed the soaked rag over, biting your lip harshly to hold back the cries of pain from the stinging pain.

once the pain settled, you took a deep breath and looked to him. “long story. people, from the commission, i’m sure of it.” you threw the rag to the side, grabbing the needle and stitching thread, quickly putting it through and getting to suturing the puncture.

he watched as you stitched the wound, staying quiet for a moment, before he decided to speak again. “remember the guy we talked to? at meritech?” he asks, and you nod simply, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, “well, he’s definitely doing something sketchy. so we need to figure out what.”

you finish the stitches before throwing the needle to the side, looking back to him. “seriously? if this leads to another dead end, i’m going to kill you.” you grab some gauze and quickly wrap it around your leg, sighing softly as you toss everything back into the medical kit.

“i’ll deserve it if i am. but i’m sure of this.” he tells you, standing from the bed beside you and holding out his hand to help you up. it hurt a bit to stand on your leg from the pain, but you had endured worse, so you could suck it up.

-

waiting on the street, you leaned against a building, following five’s gaze and staring at one of the cars that lined the street. “how do you know he’s here?” you question, crossing your arms over your chest.

“i followed him, and when he went into the vet, i figured i had time to get you.” he responds, neither of you risking a glance away from the vehicle. “there he is.” he mutters as the man walks to his car, putting his dog in the backseat and getting in himself. five grabs your hand and the next moment you’re in the car, sitting by the dog.

smiling slightly as you give him a pat, your attention is brought back to the situation when the man turned and jumped at the sight of five right next to him. within a millisecond, a knife is held to his throat. “one chance.” he snaps at him, and you purse your lips, leaning forward in your seat. “you’ve got one chance to tell me what is going on in that lab.”

obviously terrified, since he was held at knife point, the man quickly speaks. “i manufacture prosthetics for fake patients.” his eyes are wide, staring straight into five’s, “i bill the insurance companies then sell them on the black market.”

resting an arm on the head rest of his seat, you lean towards him. “including eyeballs?” you press, and his gaze flickers towards you before back to five.

“yeah-” he stutters out, his head shaking slightly, “they’re my biggest seller. i’ve got a list- a wait list- probably twenty buyers!”

five nods, “so the serial number i told you?” he raises an eyebrow.

“yes, it- it could’ve already been bought.” he tells him, his breathing shaky.

as five stared into the guy’s eyes, you swore he could see into his soul, and though you had seen it multiple times, it still unsettled you. “i need that list, lance.” the knife pushes against his skin slightly, and he visibly flinches, “names and numbers, i need it now!”

“i don’t have it,” you can see his eye’s glossing, and you don’t blame him for being close to tears. “the only copy’s in my safe at the labs.” he quickly adds on, probably praying to himself that he wouldn’t die today.

smirking, you slap a hand on his arm, and he jumps at the sudden touch. “alright then, start the car, bud.” you lean back against the seats, petting the dog again. “we’re going on a trip.”

-

stopping the car just a street away from the building, all of you get out, you and five both holding onto lance’s arms to make sure he wouldn’t make a run for it. he could probably easily push you guys away, as you were practically thirteen years old, probably no muscle at all, but you assumed he was too afraid to even think about running.

as you rounded the corner, the building up ahead, your eyes widen. flames engulfed the lab, smoke pouring out of the windows. your heart practically stops. your only clue to go off of, was totally destroyed.

you could only stand in shock as lance slipped out of your grip after five ran forward, both of them looking up at the burning building. as five stood in front of the entrance, there was a sudden explosion, sending him flying back into the road.

that got you moving, quickly running to his side and crouching down next to him, ignoring the burn in your thigh. “holy shit, are you okay?” you question, slightly panicked, as it definitely wasn’t a simple fall to the ground. first of all, it was the middle of the road, concrete, and he had been knocked back pretty hard.

pushing himself up as he nods, five looks at the building. “there goes the only evidence we had.” he mutters, and you sigh softly.

standing up, you hold a hand out to him to help him up, which he gladly takes. “guess we better get to searching for another lead, then.” you glanced to the lab, pursing your lips at all the rubble that surrounded the entrance where it had exploded.

“i guess so.”

-

you sat on the floor of the library, the glass looking down at the lower floors behind your back. books surrounded the two of you, scattered around as you tried to search for any clues inside of them.

bottles of alcohol also surrounded you, which you guys weren’t holding back on. with your only piece of evidence gone, you were ready to give up and just let the world turn back to the rubble it had been when you first got stuck, as long as you didn’t have to be in it again. you didn’t know if you could handle that like you did the last time.

“you know, i thought we’d be able to figure this out faster.” five mumbles, breaking the silence between the two of you. his words were slightly slurred, from the alcohol. he sighs softly, flipping the page he had been reading to move on to the next.

taking a sip from the bottle you held, you lean your to the side to rest your head on his shoulder. “so did i.” your words are just as jumbled, maybe even worse. “but i guess the world is just... against us.” you close your eyes, feeling tired. you weren’t sure if it was from trying so hard and failing miserably, the alcohol, or actually being tired. you didn’t care.

five stayed quiet for a moment, his gaze still trapped on the book, until he glanced to you. “remember the first night? at griddy’s?” he questions softly, tracing the lip of the bottle with his finger as you nod. “you were saying something about how you felt when we were both separated in the apocalypse.”

you remembered that moment very clearly. even with a hazy mind. you had been preparing to tell him about the feelings you had had for him, before those guys crashed the party. you weren’t sure why you didn’t tell him after. probably slipped your mind after the big fight. “oh.” you sigh softly, eyes still closed as you thought, “yeah, i was just going to tell you that i used to like you. in more than a friend way.” you chuckle, sitting up and shaking your head.

“it’s so stupid.” you look at him, your head tilted to the side, “when we got stuck and i couldn’t find you, i felt like i lost the whole world- well, i guess i did, but not in the literal way.”

his eyebrow’s were furrowed at the information you gave him, probably processing it all. “you liked me?” he questions, a hint of confusion in his tone.

“well, yeah.” you take another drink from the bottle, frowning when there was only a tiny bit left. “i guess i stopped once i found out you went crazy and fell in love with a mannequin.” you laugh, motioning to the mannequin that he had brought along and sat between you two, looking up at the lights on the ceiling.

pursing his lips, five nods, humming in acknowledgment at what you said. “find anything that might help us?” he asks, and you groan, looking back to him.

“i don’t know if we ever will.” you felt like this whole mission was hopeless. you had been ready when the two of you first made it back, prepared to do whatever it took to keep the world safe, but now, all of that confidence and hope was gone. you were close to just giving up.

setting his now empty bottle down, five leans back against the glass. “maybe.” he mumbles softly, and another silence falls.

you don’t even realize when you fall asleep, slumped against his side.

-

when you wake up, it takes you a bit to feel the arms holding you up, your body bouncing slightly with each step they took. your eyes shot open, and you sigh in relief when you see that it’s just diego.

“it’s not secure.” you hear luther’s voice behind him, turning your head to see him walking behind with five in his arms. “those psychopaths could come back at any moment.”

“hey.” you mumble as your eyes fall closed again, and you groan as you feel your stomach churn. it probably wasn’t the best idea to drink that whole bottle, but your mind would clear up once it’s effect wore off a bit, and it would leave you with a killer headache. that was something to worry about later.

you hear five speak, but you can’t focus on his voice, only hearing fragments of what he says. something about puberty. and the end of the world. when he asks what they had been talking about, luther sighs. “two masked intruders attacked the academy last night.”

“they came looking for you!” diego says, the accusation clear.

sighing softly, you let your head hang, “hazel and cha-cha.” you inform him, words jumbled together, “assholes from the commission.”

“best of the best.” five adds on, chuckling, “other than us, of course.” you grin, nodding slightly.

both of the men seemed to be annoyed by your lack of genuine answers, but it’s what they get for thinking that questioning to drunks was a good idea. “the best of what?” luther urges, glaring at five.

“you know, delores always said she hates it when i drink.” five ignores the question, patting the plastic woman on the head as you groan loudly.

you grab onto diego’s arm slightly, “fucking delores. stop talking about her!” you pull yourself up a bit, looking at diego, “he’s in love with a fucking mannequin? can you believe it?” you grin, shaking your head and letting yourself fall back again.

“hey!” you jump as diego suddenly yelled, apparently down to his last straw of patience. “i need you guys to focus.” he stops in his tracks and turns so he could see five as well. “what do they want? this hazel and cha-cha.” his tone is firm, and you’re surprised he’s still expecting actual answers.

you see five’s amused grin and you laugh, but the two men don’t seem nearly as entertained. “we just want to protect you.” he adds on, tone a bit softer but still demanding.

five lets out a mocking laugh, and your grin is obvious. “protect us?” he derides, leaning forward in luther’s arms. “we don’t need your protection, diego. do you know how many people we’ve killed?”

“we’re the four fucking horsemen!” you laugh, throwing your arms up slightly, “the world is ending, and the apocalypse is coming. there’s nothing you can do to help.” you glare at him.

you hear five heave and throw up, and your nose scrunches up. “that’s fucking disgusting-” you can’t stop yourself from doing the same. both the men look at each other in irritation.

-

taglists

main: @horrorklaus​

tua: none at the moment

five: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official​ @insatiable-ivy​ @coffee-e-addict​

let's save the world @aspiringwriter1​ @thetrashypanda423​ @lilacs-lavender @academy-umbrella​

if you’d like to be added to any taglists, just ask!

[okaywitheverything]

Cooking Diaries with Kiba: Kiba x Reader

A/N: i know its been long but I am waiting for requests tbh. So don't shy away babies. Also we hit 250+ on check ups and 50+ on world's worst best men so yayyyy! Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol and go enjoy!

Based on this tumblr prompt:

Today had been a long day, and you were to curl into bed and go to sleep at this moment right now. It had been one of those tiring days where you would skip dinner for a moment of shut eye.

With Kakashi as the new Hokage, much work had to be done to get the necessities in order. You and Shikamaru almost spent 14 hours a day at the office to help Kakashi. But you knew that within a week or two things would normalize and set into order.

When you got home it was 10 PM, and even though you had only had a salad for breakfast with 12 granola bars distributed at odd intervals during your day, you were in no mood to eat. Honestly, that sounded like too much effort right now.

But then why did your feet take you to the kitchen? It was probably the copper smell in the air that got you worried. It could also be Akamaru barking with disapproving tones. Yes, you might have learned a thing or two about Akamaru in the past year.

With barely awake eyes and a really dazed mind, you entered the kitchen to find your boyfriend’s back to you, him facing the stove and your adorable little puppy barking continuously beside him. However, as soon as you entered Akamaru turned towards you, now wagging his tail and striding towards you. You smiled down at him, not actually having the energy today to pick him up and play with him like you usually did, hoping he’d understand. He was a smart pup after all.

With barely awake eyes and a really dazed mind, you entered the kitchen to find your boyfriend’s back to you, him facing the stove and your adorable little puppy barking continuously beside him. However, as soon as you entered Akamaru turned towards you, now wagging his tail and striding towards you. You smiled down at him, not actually having the energy today to pick him up and play with him like you usually did, hoping he’d understand. He was a smart pup after all.

You would have greeted Kiba like you usually did but before you could utter a single syllable, Akamaru jumped at you. You let out a short squeal which most definitely caught Kiba’s attention as he turned around looking surprised.

Akamaru however didn’t mean to play as you expected but instead his teeth nibbled on the wrist of your long sleeved top, and then he slightly dragged you to your loving boyfriend.

The thought that Akamaru was playing matchmaker to your already established relationship crossed your mind but that train of thought immediately went out the window when you saw Kiba’s palm sliced in half, the wound almost a centimetre deep.

Your lidded eyes opened and widened as you grabbed his hand and carefully looked at the gash, the amount of blood surprising you. He had, of course, survived worse injuries than this but why in the world was he bleeding so badly, when he was in Konoha instead of the battlefield, having spent the entire day at home with only laundry on his chore list. Also, you were protective of him because it didn’t hurt to care about your boyfriend a little.

“What the fuck, Kiba?’ you exclaimed and grabbed his hand, being as gentle as your anger allowed you to be, taking him the bathroom and nudging him to sit on the marble counter top. You grabbed the first aid kit from the shelves and started working on his hand. Halfway through, when all that was left was to bandage his hand, you had finally gathered your thoughts, pushing your sleep aside, which was easy considering Kiba gave you a rush of adrenaline as soon as you entered home, and looked at him worriedly.

“what happened Kiba? You know how worried I was?” Your disappointed mom look tugged at his heartstrings as smiled sheepishly with his uninjured hand rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m sorry darling, I was just hoping to cook something nice for you, you’ve been working yourself to the limit lately and don’t think I haven’t noticed you skipping meals.” His apologizing tone turned accusatory midway and you gulped.

“You could have ordered takeout baby. I really appreciate the gesture, I really do but don’t you know that the cooking stunts are to be performed in supervision only?” You slightly joked and giggled as he broke out into a toothy grin as well.

You finished bandaging his hand focused on knotting it/taping it at the end as his palm rested in two hands as you inspected it for the last time. Hopefully he didn’t need stitches so that was good.

Out of nowhere his other hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you towards him, your face crashing in his toned chest as you let out a yelp. When you pulled yourself back and looked up at him, his eyes were already focused on you, gazing at you so lovingly that you felt you were in paradise. You just wanted to grab his face and kiss him all over his face, starting at his nose and ending at his-

As if reading your thoughts, his injured hand’s index finger and thumb held your chin so delicately, with a feather like grasp and his pillowy lips crashed onto yours. You devoured each other, his eagerness showing how much he missed you, how aware he became of your absences these days and him not liking it one bit.

Needless to say, you were quite awake now.

You both ran out of breath and pulled away but your gazing constant didn’t end until a few minutes.

When Akamaru’s bark broke you both out of your trance, you intertwined his fingers with yours and pulled him upstairs with you towards the bedroom.

“Shouldn’t you eat something first? I will order some-”

“I’m hungry, but a lot more tired. Cuddle with me?”

“I’m offended you would even ask that.”

You both snuggled under the heavy duvet, with him spooning you from behind, Akamaru coming to lay at your feet.

“What were you cooking anyways? The gash was pretty deep.” You asked with closed eyes.

“I was planning on making pudding, it’s a good snack and a light one-”

“Babe, I’m pretty sure there is absolutely no step that requires a knife though.”

“I think you missed the step of breaking an egg using the ever helpful knife-”

“What the fuck do you mean you were trying to cut open the eggshell?! What even- You know, I can’t- Again what the actual fuck, Kiba?” you stumbled over your words, as you jerked out of his embrace and now faced him, with the most confused expression ever and your eyes as horrified as they can be. Your eyebrows scrunched in disbelief with your mouth so wide open that Kiba would have laughed at your adorableness was he not astonished at the piece of information he received.

“Are you sure (Y/N) bec-”

“Yes, I’m pretty fucking sure Kiba.”

“Well the recipe said to break three eggs and thought a knife would work but the egg rolled away while my hand came in between so….”

“So you chopped your hand off while doing the stupidest thing ever? I think it is the easiest step in any recipe, right after boiling water.”

Kiba lightly chuckled at that and replied, “Well, I’m your idiot anyways honey.”

“That you are. Please be cautious baby. How am I supposed to not worry when you are away on missions if I can’t even trust you in the kitchen?”

“Sorry for worrying you (Y/N).”

You lightly smiled and pecked his cheek, returning to your original position of being the small spoon.

“Hey Kiba?” You mumbled with closed eyes, right on the brink of falling sleep.

“Yes baby?” He asked, nuzzling in your hair, taking in its sweet scent.

“Please watch a fucking tutorial next time.”

 A/N: So I did get a few requests and I’m so happy that you guys are responding. I will write the requests but I might take some time so bear with me. Also if you wanna be friends dm me cause I don’t bite I promise. If i gather enough active people I might make a group of close knit members where we might share others IDs, a safe place sort of thing but that’s wayy in the future. 

Until then, show this post some love babes.

Meet you soon with another post my cookies.

[deathduty]

Sew What || Deirdre & Irene

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Sew La Ti Do PARTIES: @threadofheart & @deathduty (special mentions to Angela Lansbury) SUMMARY: Deirdre strips. Irene does her job and nothing more. They both do what they know best.

Deirdre never considered herself to be a sentimental person. Yet, with her dress torn up the side, she found herself more willing to find the nearest tailor than to get a new one. She’d had the thing since moving to White Crest, and was certain at that moment that no other dress could make her look as good. More than that, though, she had things to do. Places to be. As much as she liked being nude, a torn up dress simply wasn’t acceptable. If she could just get the thing stitched up, however crude, she’d be on her way. “Hello?” The banshee called out, poking her head around the shop, trying to find someone to assist her. “I need–“ and at that moment, as someone emerged, Deirdre waved them down. “Do you work here? I need some help,” Deirdre pointed to the tear in her dress. “Just something to make it presentable enough. Can you do that?” 

Irene sat at her computer, finishing up some paperwork for a few of her orders, when she heard the front door of her shop open. Quickly getting up, she walked out to greet whoever it was and spotted a new face. “Hello, yes, how can I help you?” she responded as she made her way to the front counter. It would be one thing to assume that this person was looking to get something fixed, but Irene had encountered a fair number of strange asks (like “Where’s the closest Pizza Hut?” and Irene had to bite her tongue to not inform them that she was not a map). At the question, Irene leaned forward and noticed the tear on the dress. Her brow furrowed as she studied it before she stood back up. “I can definitely get that properly sewn back together for you. Uh when would you need this by and, perchance, are you… um are you dropping off the dress right now?”

“Right now.” Deirdre said, twisting around to reach the zipper. “And I’ll wait; I can wait. I just need this done immediately.” Getting the dress half off, dangling from her bare shoulders, Deirdre considered that maybe stripping inside a store was not acceptable conduct in human society. It was fortunate then, that she didn’t care about human society. “Here,” she handed the dress off, standing about in her underwear. “Do you mind if I watch you work? I’d be bored otherwise.” Deirdre’s smile was wide, her best attempt at being friendly. The last tailor she had gone to, she murdered. Of course, because he was going to die anyway, but murdered all the same. This tailor was, however, much prettier than the last. And she wasn’t a murderer anymore. For now, anyway. “That won’t be a problem, will it?” She beamed, “I’ll pay double. Triple, even. And I am very pleasant to look at.” 

“Wait!” Irene immediately held her hands up before the customer fully stripped right in her shop. She blushed slightly when half of it was already off as the seamstress walked to her desk and grabbed her long coat. “I-I don’t have any spare clothing in the shop right now other than this.” Her arm stretched out, offering it over as she averted her own gaze while her other hand reached for the dress. The moment her fingers found purchase with it, Irene noted that the material was quite nice and thankfully was something she had worked with before. “Oh, um, of course that’s no problem.” Normally, she would have politely informed her customers that she would need at least a day to complete something like this but this didn’t seem too difficult. And the prospect of being paid extra for this wasn’t unalluring… “Feel free to take a seat,” she finally decided with a small smile. Setting the dress down on her counter, Irene quickly began looking for the tear. “As much as that may be true, I’m afraid I can’t look back at you while I fix up your dress,” she indicated with a light tone as she began to pull out some tools from her cabinets. And she had been so caught up in this sudden exchange that only when Irene began to get to work did she realize that she was picking up some strange emotions from the woman. Not strange in the sense that it wasn’t reflective of the scenario but… dulled? Her brow knitted and she tried to shake it off. The last thing she needed was to mess up the dress in front of an audience.

“Oh no, I like being naked.” Deirdre tried to explain, but with a sigh, she took the coat offered and put it on. Humans could be such prudes. This human was fixing her dress though, and so she figured she might as well cover up. Though, at mention of taking a seat, despite knowing exactly what the tailor meant, she hoisted herself on the counter and took her seat there. “A tree branch got me, you know,” she said, offering an explanation for the tear. She smiled wide. A tree branch did not get her. It was, rather, the hand of a dying man, who’d managed to claw at her dress before she could leave. “I’m Deirdre,” she said, insisting on being a nuisance. “Why tailoring? It certainly can’t pay well, and it seems like such an unappreciated art…” 

Irene managed a stiff smile in response to the woman’s comment about being naked, but the seamstress really did not want to explain having a naked person in her shop should anyone pass by her windows. A sigh of relief escaped her when the woman took the coat, though tension twisted her stomach once more when she noticed the guest hoist herself up onto her worktable. “Please be careful of the pins and other uh sharp objects on the counter,” she offered tersely as her hands continued to address the garment. “A tree branch… sounds dangerous. If you need any first aid, I have a kit in the back room I can grab.” Irene wasn’t certain she believed that especially as she picked up a dull feeling of smugness that seemed to emanate from the woman. Or perhaps she was really proud to be struck by a tree; Irene was not one to judge. “Lovely to meet you, Deirdre. I’m Irene,” her response flowed automatically from her lips. It was certainly taking a bit of effort for the seamstress to hold her tongue. “It’s actually a family business so I inherited the skills when I was old enough,” she briefly explained.

Deirdre watched the seamstress work, doubtlessly skilled in her work. Her great-grandmother had taught her to sew, still enraptured by the idea that a proper lady must know how to embroider, but she’d only ever enjoyed the feeling of sticking the needle through. “Oh no, I’m okay, you should've seen the tree though, Irene,” she smiled at her own joke, leaning into the woman’s work. It looked boring to her, but there was something about the ability to mend that always caught her attention; weapons never could learn to heal. “Like a duty?” She leaned back, “like some obligation to run this shop? Do you enjoy your work?” Deirdre watched the woman some more, graceful fingers finding what they wanted with ease. “I guess I’m in something of a family business myself…” she trailed off, looking out the shop window at the people passing by, living their own obligations. “But of all the things…” She turned back to Irene, “you’re not one of those people that wish to be a fashion designer, are you?” Not that there was anything wrong with that. 

Having an audience while she worked normally wouldn’t distract her, but Irene found herself a little on edge with this woman, probably because she had initially wanted to stand around the shop naked. “Poor tree couldn’t put up much of a fight? What did it do to deserve such ire from you?” she replied with a small chuckle as she tried to imagine such a scene. Her mental image came up with something rather absurd and cartoonish, causing her to let out another quiet laugh. Irene paused, both to check on the progress of her sewing and also to consider the questions. “It was an obligation and now it’s what I know best. I enjoy it as much as one can enjoy their work I suppose. There are good days and bad ones.” Her fingers deftly finished up what she was able to hand-sew before she got up to move to her sewing machine. “Fashion designer? It’s something that’s crossed my mind a few times but it’s not a particular passion of mine. I do have a lot of respect for designers though. The pressure to constantly create something new or avant-garde that hasn’t already been created, I can’t begin to imagine it.”

“Oh, you know how it goes, it looked at me the wrong way…” Deirdre trailed off, grinning toothy and lopsided. She had started the process of trying to think of something else to say, something to make the woman uncomfortable, when she continued. Deirdre’s grin faltered, and from her position nosing into Irene’s work, she leaned back with a frown. She was not so deluded on ideas of passion that she didn’t understand practicality, but the way the woman described it sounded…sad. Or, at best, Deirdre would unknowingly insult her. “What you know best?” She repeated, hoping Irene would correct her. “What you know best and what you enjoy are two different things.” Deirdre stared at her, completely having intended to ruin her day and yet being struck with confusion instead. “Irene,” she began, “is there some other thing you imagined you’d be doing?” She sighed, she could understand duty and she could understand obligation. She could even understand knowing something too well to not make anything of it, but like this? Deirdre stared around the shop, nose wrinkled; was it really worth it? “It’s just an odd way to word your sentence—‘what I know best’ what I know best is murd—“ Deirdre froze. “Uh,” she turned to Irene, “Mur—Murder, She Wrote! The show! Love it. It’s what I know best, but, it’s not…uh, it’s not what I imagined I’d be watching. It doesn’t satisfy my life’s hunger.” 

Irene expertly adjusted her machine, her movements second nature after years of working in this profession. As she ran the dress through the machine, she chuckled again. “I have noticed that some trees do make some devious faces.” The playful banter was easy enough to maintain as the seamstress worked, a trait she picked up early on when she had to mend her sisters’ clothes while they chattered away beside her. But then the sudden shift in tone surprised her, almost causing the woman to completely stop in her work. She swallowed hard, her lips pursing into a small smile despite her facing the machine and not her customer. “In the end, it’s all semantics,” she replied quietly before clearing her voice. There were many things she had tickled in pursuing: places she’d considered visiting or even living in, career paths she might have enjoyed, goals she’d like to achieve. “What I enjoy most is making sure my family is doing well and is safe and happy, and this happens to be the way I am able to achieve that.” The fabric slid through her fingers and past the thrumming needle of the machine. Her brow furrowed once more at the way this conversation unfolded from this curious woman. “I suppose that’s a thing about life, though, isn’t it? If Murder She Wrote doesn’t satisfy you, there are so many things out there that might do the trick.” With a satisfied sigh and a more genuine smile now, Irene finished up her repairs, snipped the loose thread from the dress, and held it up to examine. “This should be all good to go and ready for another battle with any tree that gives you the wrong impression.”

Why did it bother her? Long after Irene held the dress out, signaling the end of their little tête-à-tête, Deirdre stood and stared at her. She was dissatisfied; with Irene’s answer, her amiability and her lack of disdain at Deirdre’s general demeanor. It was spiteful. How dare the woman feign happiness in her face? It was tragic. How dare she answer honestly? And then it was pointless; why did it bother her at all? Irene was being practical, smart, safe. What could she possibly find a flaw in? Perhaps it was just that, the perceived perfectionism of the whole thing. Deirdre’s expression soured quickly. “Is that so?” Deirdre got her little inside glance at the woman, watching her words bounce right off. She had no hook, no control; friendly people disgusted her. A saccharine grin greeted Irene as Deirdre yanked the dress from her grip. “I suppose your family are all grateful. Where are they? Out back or…?” Perhaps it was the whimper of feeling blooming in her stomach; sadness, or something like it. “Aren’t you the hypocrite? Deluding yourself into thinking this satisfies you. At least Murder, She Wrote has Angela Lansbury.” From her boot, she drew out wrinkled hundred dollar bills, offering no explanation for either action. One hundred. Three hundred. Five hundred dollars, slapped down in front of Irene. “I’m taking your coat.” She announced with a huff, finding it to be the apology she deserved after Irene ruined her evening with her politeness. “And you!” she jabbed a finger at the tailor, throwing her dress over her shoulder. She stepped to leave, eager to free herself from Irene’s bullying. “If I peel back those layers of lies and professional, am I going to find a woman who fights or flees?” 

Despite the muted emotions Irene picked up from Deirdre, she managed to pick up something akin to frustration. From the very beginning, this whole exchange presented to be a challenge. Why was Deidre frustrated when she had bulldozed Irene from the moment she arrived? Her gaze flickered momentarily at the questioning, each interrogatory a sharp, yet familiar, stab. Everything Deidre was saying was not incorrect. In fact, Irene was certain her sisters would likely agree. But, unlike Deidre, Irene made peace with her own reality, a reality she had resigned herself to for quite some time. “My family--my sisters are where they wish to be.” Was that so bad? That she prioritized their happiness over hers? It was her duty, always has been her duty, to take care of the family. As the money slammed onto the table, far more than was needed to pay, Irene made no move to collect it. “I suppose you and I will find out if that happens.” Each day in White Crest forced Irene to face that question: was she here fighting for something or was she actually fleeing? She lifted her head, swallowing hard and finding it harder to maintain a professional front. It was too early in the day for her regularly scheduled existential crisis. “Well, thanks for your patronage; I hope the dress is to your liking,” were the last words, auto-piloted by habit, she managed to say as she finally reached to collect the money dispensed upon her work surface.

Deirdre reveled in the sort of annoyances she could spur in others; she desired to control their reactions to her. If she forced hate, she would beat them all to the punch. But there was a special sort of person she could never crack: those that desired to be polite, kind, friendly. Those who refused to stoop to her level. Those, much like Irene. Her grievance all along might just have been envy. If only she had half a mind to be as optimistic. “I hope for your sake,” Deirdre said as she lingered at the door, “you find out sooner rather than later, the kind of person you are.” Without so much as a thank you, she was gone, and the store fell back into the silence that didn’t know her. One day, Irene would be dead, and her legacy was her own concern. It didn’t bother Deirdre one bit. Not at all.

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

This Night

Summary: After the Winchesters rescue her from the clutches of some no name demon, she has trouble facing the dark alone. Dean decides to try and help her take her mind off the memories that haunt her dreams. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size!Reader

Word Count: 5.7K+

Warnings: Language, descriptions of torture, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, post traumatic stress, angst all around

Square Filled: Road Trip

Author’s Note: Written for @spngenrebingo . This fic was inspired by Luke Bryan’s “I Don’t Want This Night To End”, it doesn’t have exactly the same feeling but it gave me the idea so...I love comforting Dean with all my soul. Also, not sorry about the another plus size reader but I can never find any when I look so this is my furthered contribution to the collection of them. xo Alex

Check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

The tip of the angel blade poked between the buttons of her blouse and with a small flick of the demon’s wrist, it popped the seam holding them in place. Her blouse fell open further revealing her chest to the demon.

“You know, I never quite understood why the Winchester ever kept you around.” He seethed, running the blade over the swell of her left breast and breaking the skin. Warm blood trickled down her abdomen. At this point, her body had become almost numb to the pain he was inflicting on her. This had nothing on the punches to her jaw or the kicks to her ribs. Each breath she took felt like someone was shoving a hot poker in her chest. It didn’t even compare to the other cuts that littered her body between her fingers, on her neck, face and body. The one across her stomach would still trickle blood if she moved too quickly.

“You’re not a good hunter. And they certainly don’t keep you around to look at.” He gestured non committedly at her plump figure that hung from the shackles raising her arms above her head. The chains were holding up most of her weight, only her toes had contact with the ground. 

“Fuck you.” She spit down at his feet, the blood mixed with her saliva splashing against the dirty concrete. Her words were weaker than she was hoping, her body too far into survival mode to care about talking. 

“Oh, hit a nerve there on that one didn’t I, princess? So who is it? Which one are you holding a torch for?” The demon stepped up close to her, their chest nearly touching as he searched her face. The corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to read her expression. “Maybe it’s Sammy boy and those freakishly long legs?” He paused to gauge her reaction before continuing. “Or maybe it’s the brooding and pensive martyr, Dean-o?” 

She couldn’t help the way her eye averted from the demon, giving her away completely. “Ah, it is Dean. Should’ve guessed it sooner I suppose. Girls like you always want what they can never have.” She cried out when he gripped a chunk of her hair and forced her head back to open up her neck to him. He sniffed against her sweat and blood soaked skin before nuzzling his nose against her pulse. A grimace crossed her face as a chill ran up her spine. 

“You’ve seen the sluts that Dean takes home from the bars and fucks in seedy motel after seedy motel. How could you ever think he would even look twice at you?” The demon’s voice was barely above a whisper as he poked the tip of the angel blade into the hollow of her cheek. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes to prepare herself.

“So why waste your time protecting those idiots. Tell me where they are and what they are up to and I’ll let you waltz right out that door.” It was a tempting offer, but she doubted that the demon would hold up his end of the bargain. No, she would die protecting the Winchesters. After all, it was like he had said, she had nothing else to offer them except to maybe give them a little more time to finish the trials. That would be her gift to the men that she called family. The two idiots that she loved. 

“Yeah right, I do that and you kill me anyway. I’ll bid the Winchesters some time so your ass rots in Hell forever.” It took everything in her to muster up the false bravado now on display for this no name demon. 

“Have it your way.” He growled before swiping the blade across her cheekbone. The sound of her shrieks reverberated off the solid walls. 

 Y/n sat up straight in her bed, her chest heaving with every breath and her sweat soaked pajamas clinging to her clammy skin. It took her a second to take in her surroundings and determine she was still in her bedroom of the bunker and not back in the hands of that demon. She closed her eyes and tried to take deep breaths to calm her racing heart. 

Why she thought tonight would be any different from the rest, she wasn’t exactly sure. The same nightmare had plagued her every night since she had been saved by the Winchesters, and every night she woke up in a cold sweat. This time she could only hope that her body was exhausted enough that she wouldn’t dream at all. She had been wrong. 

Climbing out of her bed, she stripped herself of her soaked pajamas and grabbed her robe and a change of clothes. The bunker was quiet as she made her way to the showers. Sam and Dean had gone to bed before she had and even though she didn’t check her phone, she was sure that it was still the middle of the night. 

She started one of the showers, turning the water as hot as she could stand it and stepped under the spray. The steam in the air and the heat of the water against her skin helped to relax her tense muscles. She took her time in washing away the sweat from her skin but didn’t bother with her hair this time. When the water began to run cold, she decided it was time to get out. Grabbing a clean towel, she patted her body dry before wrapping it around her torso. She padded over to the sinks and wiped away the steam from the mirror. Her hair was tossed over one shoulder as she leaned forward to inspect her face. The large scar on her cheek was still an angry red color. Being a hunter, scars weren't anything new, but this one was refusing to fade and only served as a constant reminder of those few days she was held captive. The demon’s words were still fresh in her mind as if he was still standing next to her and whispering them in her ear. 

“How could you even think he would ever look twice at you?”

~

Dean appeared almost instantly at the rear door, pulling it open as it squeaked in protest. He held out his hand for her but she resisted. Instead she opted to drag herself out of the impala. The frown on his face at her refusal didn’t go unnoticed by the hunter. 

“Dean, I’m fine.” She got out through her gritted teeth as she tried to hide the grimace on her face. She used the door to haul herself to her feet, but even she wasn’t strong enough to hide the whimper that fell from her mouth as she tried to stand up straight. 

“Oh, yeah, you’re perfect.” He mocked. “Please quit being stubborn and let us help you to your room.” Y/n bit the inside of her cheek as she contemplated his offer. On the one hand she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep for a few days. On the other, every fiber in her being was trying to pull away from both the Winchesters. It was irrational, she knew that, because deep down she trusted these men more than anything, but the words of the demon were still too fresh in her mind. That was kind of the whole point though, was to sow the seeds of doubt in her mind. She just hated how well it had worked. 

Y/n nodded, her movement slight as she threw her arm over Dean’s shoulder so he could help her inside. Careful not to put too much of her weight on him, she let him guide her to her room. It was easier for her to move with his help, though she wouldn’t admit it. 

“Sammy, can you grab the first aid kit from the infirmary?” Dean looked over his shoulder at his little brother, who nodded and headed the opposite way without a word. Dean helped her sit down on the edge of her bed, his jaw ticking as he noticed her flinch again. 

Y/n kicked off her shoes, letting them fall wherever in her room as she rolled her shoulders in an attempt to pull the kinks from her still stiff muscles. Her head perked up as she heard Sam coming back down the hall. She watched as he handed the kit off to Dean, who nodded ever so slightly before closing the door behind Sam as he once again retreated. Her eyebrows scrunched as Dean turned back around.

“Take your shirt off, kid.” Dean indicated as he set the kit on the bed next to her. 

“Excuse me?” His words had caught her off guard and she blinked her eyes as she tried to focus herself. 

“Come on, your shirt is stained in blood. I know you are covered in cuts, just let me stitch you up.” Dean didn’t even look at her as he began taking items out of the kit. Alcohol, gauze, thread and a needle. All of it screaming at her as his words sunk in. 

“I’ve stiched myself up before, I’ve got this.” She tried waving him off and reached for the alcohol. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, halting her movements.

“Damn it Y/n, stop being so stubborn. You can barely move. I’m doing this, end of story.” His tone left her no room for argument. Normally, Dean didn’t phase her, she wasn’t one to back down from him. But now, she would do anything to keep him from raising his voice more than he already had. She knew that there was no way he could know what his words would do to her, so she couldn’t blame him for just being Dean.

“Fine.” Her voice was barely audible as her shaky fingers undid the last few buttons the demon hadn’t popped on her blouse. She pulled the ruined material from her body, pieces of the fabric sticking to her injuries where the blood had begun to dry. Now, in just her flimsy bra, whose material left little to the imagination, she felt more exposed than ever. 

As she finished taking off the offending fabric, Dean grabbed a towel from the kit and wet it down in the sink that sat in her room. He squatted down in front of her, dabbing the cool towel against the wound on her breast. She flinched from his touch, her body going rigid. His gaze was set on his task as heat crept up her cheeks and she was thankful that he was refusing to make eye contact with her. 

In all the times she pictured Dean getting her out of her shirt, this certainly was not one of them. Right now, she felt nothing but shame. Shame at the rolls that sat on her abdomen, shame at bruises forming under her ribs and the second gash on her flabby stomach. But mostly, shame that she ever let a demon get the jump on her in the first place. She was a poor excuse for a hunter, and now the Winchesters felt like they had to nurse her back to health. 

Dean moved on to the one on her stomach, cleaning away the blood on it as well. “These two aren’t too deep. I should be able to clean them up with some alcohol and let them heal.” He set the towel down and traded it for alcohol soaked gauze. Y/n hissed when it touched her open wound.

“‘M sorry.” Dean frowned, actually looking up at her this time. She didn’t respond to him, her eyes flitting away from him as the tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. Really, she wanted to ease his guilt by telling him it wasn’t his fault, but she couldn’t make her mouth form the words, not when she didn’t really believe them herself. That only made her feel guilty too. 

When she first stumbled upon the Winchesters, she had heard the stories, she knew what kind of fate followed them and those associated. Beside her better judgement though, she fell for those stupid loveable boys. They became too much like family for her to walk away, and that had become her undoing this time. So while it wasn’t actually Dean’s fault, she couldn’t help thinking how she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for those damned Winchesters. And sure, as a hunter she wasn’t naive to the fact that her life would consist of nothing but blood and death, but she had never experienced anything on this scale. She couldn’t help wishing that the demon had just finished the job. 

Dean stood up and grabbed the towel again, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he pursed them. This time, he sat on the edge of the bed next to her, his fingers turning her head so he could see the gash on her cheek. 

“This one is pretty deep though, I’m going to have to stitch it up.” He commented as he cleaned away the dried blood. Y/n closed her eyes, she had figured as much, but that didn’t make the affirmation any easier. When the demon had but the blade against her skin, she had known it was worse than the others. In his rage, he had done some real damage, and now she was going to have to live with that reminder on her face everyday for the rest of her life. 

“This is gonna sting.” He added, touching the gauze to her cheek before she could react. Y/n bit the inside of her cheek as he disinfected the wound. This wouldn’t even be the worst of it. 

“We don’t have anything to numb it either, unfortunately.” Dean added once he exchanged the gauze for the needle. 

“Mm, on my desk.” Y/n got out, her hand waving towards the wooden piece of furniture. Dean furrowed his brow and looked over, seeing what she was insinuating sitting there in the corner. He got up to fetch the whiskey and handed it over to her. Her fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle and she tipped it back, taking as much as she couldn handle into her mouth and swallowing. The burn down her throat was harsh, but the instant numbness that spread through her body was welcomed. Having an empty stomach certainly helped as well. She took another long pull before offering it to Dean. He took it without word and copied her actions, handing the bottle back to her.

With one last drink from the bottle, she shook her head and let out a long breath. “Okay, I’m ready.” Dean nodded and sat back down. Y/n closed her eyes in anticipation. She tried counting in her head as she waited for Dean to start, anything to focus her mind away from what was to come. 

A grunt forced its way up her throat and out her nose as the needle pierced her skin. Her tongue was caught between her teeth now as she fought everything in her to not scream. It would only serve to mess Dean up, and she would end up more mangled than she already was. Instead, her hand flew to Dean’s thigh, her fingers squeezing into the jean clad limb. 

With all her strength put behind the action, she knew she had to be hurting him, but the hunter never even acknowledged that she had touched him. Dean took all that she had to give him without even a blink of his eye. 

The tears in her eyes spilled over the corners and ran down the inside of her cheeks. Dean’s thumb came up and brushed away the one on the cheek he was working on. 

“I’m done, kid. You can let go of me now.” There was a hint of amusement behind his soft tone as he kept her jaw cradled in his hand. Her eyes flew open, heat once more brandishing her cheeks as she let go of him like she had been electrocuted. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” Dean smiled at her, their eyes locking together for a moment before he cleared his throat and began to clean up. “Uh, you’ll have to keep that dry for a few days, so uh… just be careful when you take a shower.” He rambled on as he tossed the bloody gauze before moving to rinse the towel out in the sink. 

“Thanks, Dean.” 

Dean turned back to her, his own eyes gleaming in the low light of her room. “Anyday, kid.” 

~

It wasn’t news to her that Dean was out of her league and no matter the torch she held for the hunter, she had resigned to that fact a long time ago. But there was something about having her own thoughts reaffirmed out loud by a total stranger that managed to break her. Now she has this hideous thing on her face and all hope she ever had was lost in the wind. 

With a sigh, she rubbed in some of her scar diminishing cream and pushed the thoughts out of her mind. Once she could get some control over these nightmares, she was out of here anyway. There was no reason for her to stick around. If she was being honest with herself, she was just scared of being picked up again for more information on the Winchester because she knew in her heart that she would do the same thing. She would defend them with her life, but she wasn’t sure that her heart could handle being rescued again. It was these moments in the quietest hours of the nights that she wishes she had never been saved at all. Though she was quick to swallow them down deep and hide them away for another night. 

Y/n ran a comb through her hair and tossed it into a heap on top of her head before getting dressed. As she exited the bathroom, she ran straight into a solid form. Dean’s hands flew out to steady her. 

“Sorry.” She mumbled, not meeting his eye. He frowned at her as he took in the scene in front of him. There was humid air falling from the room behind her and he caught the distinctive scent of her body wash. Her favorite old concert tee was tucked into the front of her high waisted jeans. 

“It’s fine. Did you just take a shower?” He let his hands fall from her shoulders. She glanced behind her and chuckled a little. 

“Oh yeah, sorry if I woke you.” the apology slipped past her lips before she could think twice about it. It was a bad habit that she had developed since she had been saved by the boys, though she wasn’t exactly sure where it had originated from. 

“You didn’t, it just… it’s two am Y/n/n.” Dean’s tongue pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“I was a little gross, didn’t feel like waiting ‘till morning. No biggie.” Y/n made a move to side step Dean but he put himself back in her way. Her eyes scrunched closed as her body tensed and Dean instantly felt like an asshole, he should have known his movement would have triggered her. 

“Listen, I have a proposition for you. Meet me at Baby in ten?” Dean lowered his shoulders and took a step out of her personal space. 

“Dean, I-” 

“Please?” He interrupted her train of thought. With a sigh, she nodded her head and went for her room. She slipped on socks and a pair of shoes and grabbed her flannel. Once she was satisfied that she had what she needed for whatever it was that Dean had planned, she made her way down to the garage. To her surprise, he was already there, loading that old green cooler into the back seat. 

Dean smiled when he noticed she had entered the garage. “Hop in, sweetheart.” 

“Where are we going?” Her curiosity peaked as she climbed in the passenger seat.

“For a drive.” Dean shrugged his shoulders and pulled the impala out into the night. He stuck in her favorite cassette tape and turned it down to a reasonable level.

“I know that, but where to?” 

“Will you just trust me?” Dean turned to her and smiled for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. 

“I trust you with my life.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. She could see out of the corner of her eye the way Dean’s jaw ticked and she wished she could take it back. 

These last few weeks had been hard on the Winchesters too. Both of them felt overwhelmingly guilty for her capture and she knew that. Once Dean had stitched her up, he could barely look at her. She assumed it was because of how mangled and frail she looked after a week of being in the demon’s capture. Really, it was the guilt he felt in his heart every time he saw the way she grimaced when she moved or the scar across her face. Sam wasn’t any better either. It took Y/n snapping at him to ‘shut up already’ when he had apologized to her for the thousandth time. None of it was their fault, really and she knew that, but what she wanted more than anything was to just move on and they were not making that easy for her.

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, only the purr of the impala’s engine and the soft lull of the cassette playing to keep them company. Y/n’s gaze was fixed out the window, watching the passing landscape and counting the stars. She had never taken a good look at the countryside of Kansas on their many trips away from the bunker. The plains spanned out from the two lane highway, a beautiful piece of undisturbed Earth. Right now, she could imagine herself laying down in the middle of one of the fields, the plush greenery underneath her body a perfect cushion as she closes her eyes and succumbs to the darkness. 

The soft click of the song changing caught her attention. The soft melody was instantly recognizable. Dean’s eyes flickered to her as she leaned to turn the song up, a ghost of a smile passing her lips. He couldn’t help the smile that now graced his own features as she mumbled along to the lyrics. It was the first time since they had brought her home that he had noticed the tension dissipate from her shoulders. 

Dean came in on the chorus, his voice only a fraction of a decibel louder than her own, but it got her attention. Her head snapped to him, her eyebrows raised on her forehead before both of them put their all into the song. 

By the time the song faded, Y/n was giggling in the seat next to Dean. The sound gripped his heart in it’s fist, it was the most amazing thing he had heard in a long time. Even under its iron grip, it was like music to his ears. He wanted to spend all night just making her laugh. That’s when he got the perfect idea. Really, he had no plan other than to just drive when he shoved her into the passenger side of the impala, but now he understood where they had been headed the whole time. 

It was someplace he had discovered not long after they had found the bunker. He had needed a moment to cool off and went on a drive much like tonight and stumbled upon the deserted clearing. Actually, he hadn’t been back since. Life had become hectic, leaving little time for leisure and eventually the place had slipped his mind. Now, he knew it could be exactly what Y/n needed just like it had been for him all those years ago. 

As he turned down the gravel road, he noticed her interest peaked at his change of course. Her eyes were even more focused on her surroundings, darting back and forth as they passed under a canopy of trees. When the foliage cleared, the lake made its appearance, the moonlight bouncing over the soft waves on the surface. 

Dean pulled the impala as close to the dock as he could and put her in park. “Come on, kid.” He leaned over with a smile and patted Y/n’s knee before climbing out of the car. The warm late summer air had a tinge of humidity. Sounds of insects and the water rolling onto the shore hit both of them as they walked towards the small wooden dock that extended into the water. 

“What are we doing here?” She asked him as she followed behind him. The old wood creaked under their weight, causing the water to splash around its base. 

“We,” He smirked as he began to shrug off his flannel. “Are going for a swim.” Dean toed off his boots, pushing them away with his discarded flannel. 

“We’re what?” She couldn’t help the rise in her voice as she watched him continue to strip. First his t-shirt before he moved on to his belt. Y/n swallowed, the action caught in her throat as he shimmied his jeans down his thighs. He stood back up, now only in his dark briefs. 

“Swimming. That’s a lake, people do that in lakes.” Sarcasm was heavy in his words as he stepped to the edge of the dock. Dean winked before turning his back to her and diving into the dark water. Running to the edge she peered into the abyss, unable to make out anything in the night. A scream of his name was on the tip of her lips just as his head broke the surface. 

Dean shook the water from his head, his grin wider than a kid in a candy store. “Come on, kid. Jump in!” He hollered to her as the gentle waves around him splashed upon his face. She could tell from her vantage he was standing on the sand below, but the water was almost veiling the entire spanse of his broad shoulders and that meant that she would need to be on her toes to keep her own head above water. 

“You are insane, Winchester! I am not getting in that water!” 

“Chicken.” He taunted her.

“Uh yeah, you’re right. I have this thing about jumping into bodies of water that I can't see the bottom of.” She wasn’t lying to him, but she also wasn’t telling him the whole truth. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to strip down into her bra and underwear in front of Dean. And she certainly wasn’t jumping into the water in them. 

“If you don’t jump, I’m just going to have to come up there and pull you in, clothes and all.” He jested. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Her smile fell, knowing full well that he would. Dean cocked an eyebrow before moving to the edge of the pier. He reached up, the muscles in his arms rippling as he began to tug himself up. “Ah! Okay, okay!” Dean halted his movements but didn’t back off. 

“I hate you so much.” Her chide remark lost on a triumphant Dean. Y/n bit the inside of her cheek as she turned away from him and began to undress. Her fingers were shaky as she tossed the items aside. It was too late to go back now that she was only in her bra and panties, but for some reason the idea of taking the plunge somehow scared her even more. 

“I’m waiting.” Dean sang out from below her. 

“Alright, hold your horses.” She barked and moved back to the edge. Screwing her eyes shut she leapt from dock, the cool water surrounding her as she slipped under the surface. The water was just cool enough to be refreshing, but it was also able to clear some of the fuzziness in her head before she broke back above the gentle waves. She wiped the water from her face and blinked a few times, finding Dean just inches in front of her. 

“Holy..” She breathed out. Somehow Dean knew exactly what she needed. It was like a light switched had been flipped in her head. Something about the way the dark water enveloped her body was comforting in a way she never remembered it ever being. Maybe it had something to do with the night sky above her, or even the solitude of the moment.

“I know.” Dean smirked, that air of arrogance once again crossing his features. As much as she loved the hunter wading in front of her, he could be such a smug man. She hated it and loved it at the same time. It was all a part of the Dean Winchester charm. 

“Alright,” She rolled her eyes at him. The last thing she wanted to do was give him the satisfaction. Dean flicked the water between them at her face, surprising her. She retaliated, giving a bit more force behind her action and sending water cascading over his face. Dean threw his head back and chuckled.

“Oh, kid you do not want to start.” 

“Hey! You splashed me first.” She defended as Dean pursed his lips. A smirk appeared on her lips as she figured she had won this fight, only for Dean to use both hands to splash her. The force of the wave sending her underwater for a second. 

“Winchester!” She spit the water from her mouth once she breached the surface again. Dean was laughing again and she grit her teeth. He asked for this. Y/n leapt onto the tall hunter, putting all her force into dunking him under the water. Dean flailed under her for a moment before his hands found her waist and he pulled her under along with him. After a beat, he brought both of them back to surface. Dean shook the water from his hair as she wiped it from her face. Both of them bust out laughing again as they got their bearings in the water. Dean still had his hands around her waist and on instinct her arms had gone around his neck. 

For a moment, Dean’s plan had worked wonders. All of the memories and worries haunting her mind had slipped away. It was just the two of them giggling like children in the cool water. That is until she realised their proximity to each other. Even in the light from the moon, she could make out the mixture of gold and emerald in his iris’ and the sheer number of freckles that adorn his cheeks and nose. Dean was gazing right back at her, taking in the barely visible flush in her cheeks and the way the water dripped from the edges of her lashes and the tip of her nose. It took her clearing her throat and glancing away to break him from his trance. 

Tightening his grip around her waist, Dean’s hands slid up her back to push her body as close to his as he could. He nuzzled his nose against hers as she gasped, the noise sharp in the quiet night. 

“Dean.” Her breath fanned over his face and Dean closed his eyes.

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?” Dean didn’t respond with words, instead choosing to show her. He knew that she was fully aware of his intentions, but that she was more worried about why. Why he chose her, or more importantly to him, why he would keep choosing her. Dean’s lips brushed against her own, the pressure almost non existent. He still wanted to give her the option to stop him. When she didn’t, he pulled away and kissed her again with a little more force. Then again, and again, and again, until she was meeting him in the middle. Her blunt fingernails were now digging into the skin at the base of his skull as she pulled him to herself, all hesitation floating away with the waves. Y/n tilted her head back and opened her mouth to him, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth and move against her own. There was something about the way he tasted to her, there was not one thing she could pinn down, all of it intoxicatingly Dean Winchester. 

As she began to slip out of his grasp, Dean’s hands flew to the back of her thighs, encouraging her to wrap them around his waist. Too drunk on his mouth against her own, her body complied of its own accord. Her whole body clung to him like he was her life line, which she supposed he was. Even with everything she went through and all the doubts in her head, she knew with all her heart that if she let go of Dean, she would drown. 

Dean pulled his lips from hers, his chest heaving as he fought for air. “Damn, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Honestly?” She nodded. “After we finally found you, you were so broken. I couldn’t help but feel guilty about that. Guilty about not protecting you. And you had changed, rightfully so. You weren’t the same girl I had stupidly fallen in love with. I didn’t know how to help you, hell I can’t even help myself out of that hole half the time.”

“So what changed?”

“You did. You bouncing your head to the beat of the music in Baby. It was you trying to drown me in a lake and laughing like the world was no longer on your shoulders. I’m sorry but I couldn’t keep this feeling in any longer.” He ran his hand over her wet locks. 

“Don’t be. Thank you Dean, for all of this. I don’t want this night to end.” Her words lowered into a soft whisper as she made her confession. 

“It doesn’t have to, kid. I’m here now.” Dean’s lips were soft but demanding as he stole her breath away one last time, pouring all his emotions and promises into his movements. He would be damned (again) if he ever let her go again. 

Forevers: @spn-impala​​ @22sarah08​​ @turtlepad​​ @callmekda​​ @chaldei​​ @hobby27​​ @cowboysnwinchesters​​ @tranquility-or-chaos​​ @pikabootoyouchu​​ @dawnie1988​​ @grease222​​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @polina-93​​ @clarinette07​​ @moonlight-babeh​​ @suckerforfanfics​​ @witandnargles​​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @geeksareunique​ @akshi8278​

[blissfulalchemist]

Don’t know how but this came in as a submission Stella way back when. Either way it is finished after so long!

“is that blood?”, “yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “you are literally bleeding.” + red brooks bros

It was always a good thing to get out of the house, especially to a place that felt like some kind of home. The tension at the ranch was starting to become too much and Cat just needed a little air to breathe. She was still attempting to wrap her mind around the idea that Raf didn’t hate her or find her completely out of her mind for her stunt a few weeks ago. The alcohol took the fall for that kiss which was fine with her so long as she didn’t have to be reminded of that moment for the rest of her life. Not that Lance was helping any as the two took a break at his temporary house, Cat lying against the couch letting her mind wander as Terminator 2 played. 

“Think I should start making some kind of dinner for us?” Cat asked hand feeling the kernels of the now empty bowl of popcorn. 

“Was under the impression we were doing pizza,” Lance said, eyes never leaving the television, “Thought your boyfriend Rafael was bringing some?”

Cat rolled her eyes, Kill me, “Yeah when he was planning on coming over,” she sat up, setting the bowl on the coffee table, “he canceled, remember.”

Lance took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand, a smile playing on his lips, “Not good boyfriend material if he cancels like that.”

“Would you stop with that?”

“Just looking out for you is all,” Lance laughed as a throw pillow came for his face, “That boy may think he’s perfection but-.”

“He’s still human and therefore impossible to be perfect,” Cat finished, tone laced with mockery. “I know that,” she scoffed, “but that stuff would only really matter if he was interested in me. He’s fine with our relationship as is so therefore I am too.”

Lance laughed, spitting up a little of his drink, “And I’m set to win the lotto.” Cat narrowed her eyes, mouth ready to argue when the sound of a bike overtook the sounds of gunfire from the movie. Lance let out a sigh, “I sure hope that kid slowed down to park in the garage this time.”

“Wes? Slowing down?” Cat smiled, “The day he does you better buy a lotto ticket.” 

She opened the front door, hearing the clattering of a shelf falling, “How in the hell does he manage to hit the same damn shelf every time?”

Cat looked up at Lance, raising a brow, “Maybe you should move it Old Man.”

“I have,” he let out a breath, “Come on let’s go get him.” The two walked into the garage, watching as Wes pulled off the helmet, shaking out his hair, “I thought you were a pro on that thing?”

“I am,” Wes answered looking at the fallen shelf and its contents, “It jumped out at me.”

“Uh-huh, sure Wes,” Cat laughed, eyes assessing him, widening in horror, “Oh my god!”

The two men looked up at her change in pitch, “What?”

“Wes-. You-. How-. Wes- You’re-.” He lifted an arm looking down his body, meeting her eyes as he pointed to the dark stain on his shirt, “Are you? Is that blood?!” 

He gave a shrug, Lance moving to take a closer look, “Probably.”

“Probably. Wes! You are literally bleeding!”

Lance gave a small shake of his head, “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is-.”

“Is I took down that big ol’ YES sign,” Wes finished triumphantly.

Cat’s shoulders sagged, “Let me guess you’re homemade explosives?” Wes nodded, Lance pushing him towards the house. “Wes,” she glanced up to the mountain watching as the black smoke rose, heart falling as she placed a smile on her face, “Good job taking that eyesore down.” It's not that she didn’t want to see that Hollywood wannabe gone but it did mean John would be in an even more sour mood. Never a danger to herself, but it didn’t make for very pleasant conversation either given her friendships. 

If Wes noticed anything a miss with her, he didn’t get much of a chance to voice it, “What I was going to say was that we need more of an actual dinner,” Lance continued, ushering his two children inside.

“You want to go and get pizza,” Cat asked.

“I’m going to get pizza while you clean him up,” Lance picked up his canvas jacket and car keys gesturing to Wes, “Now before you say anything you can stitch him up just fine. I’ve shown you how and seen you do it.” 

“But-.”

“If you mess up I’ll just open them and do it myself,” Lance lowered his voice, eyes watching as Wes took out the first aid kit, laying the towel out on the couch, “‘Sides I think you should talk to him. He’s holding something in and he ain’t going to talk to me about it.”

Cat exhaled through her nose, nodding, shutting the door behind Lance, gathering a bowl of warm water and some rags. “You think it's a good or bad thing that you know exactly what to do when you come over after your injuries?” Cat joked, sitting next to Wes on the couch tossing the dirtied shirt to the side.

“Depends on who you ask really,” Wes paused the movie before he moved, giving Cat a better look at the wound. It wasn’t as deep as the amount of blood would indicate but still was a few inches long moving along his right ribs. Cat set the bowl in his lap, gentle in her movements as she cleaned the blood away, “Might be some shrapnel still.”

“I’ll pick out what I can,” he flinched, letting out a yelp, making Cat jump. Wes laughed, “Don’t do that,” she chastised, lightly hitting his arm, “You know you’re just gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.”

“You were being too serious,” Cat picked up the tweezers spotting the small glimmer of metal.

“Cause I’m concentrating,” Cat pulled back grabbing the bottle of alcohol, “This is gonna sting.” Wes sat still as she brought the soaked cloth to the open wound, “I’m still not one hundred percent used to this kind of first aid.”

“Here I thought you were certified.”

“Yeah for the basics,” she snorted, “Other than that it had to be left to the real medical staff.” She gave a small smile, “Only thing I can really claim competency in is healing the mind.” Wes grew silent, turning his head away from her as she gathered the needle and thread, Cat’s smile fading, “You know you don’t have to keep it all in. Suffering alone isn’t a good thing.”

“You let Raf do it,” he countered, lifting his arm to rest on the back of the sofa.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t or won’t get on his case too,” she winced as the needle pierced his skin, pausing to take in Wes. He stayed still through it, calming the shaking wanting to start in her hands, “And if we’re being honest I let you get away with a lot more than him.” He gave a smirk, “So the YES sign,” the smirk evaporating quickly, “You and John still-.”

“Don’t,” he said quickly, “I’m not talking about that.”

So much for Lance’s belief, Cat nodded, “Okay. We don’t have too.” Silence fell as she worked on the stitches, slower than was necessary, but she didn’t want to make a mistake forcing Wes to have to go through the process again. She was nearing the last two needed when Wes shifted, “Careful, I don’t want to hurt you on accident.”

“You ever think about us?”

“Like what we’ll do after this whole thing is over,” she gave pause, pursing her lips, “Or do you mean that night?” Cat glanced up at his face, unreadable, “Because I thought we were never going to talk about it.”

“Guess it does play into it,” he mused, “But no. I mean us as in you and me. Together.”

Oh, Cat concentrated on the last stitch picking her words carefully, “Why does that matter to you all of a sudden? Did it get real bad with John this time?”

“Humor me,” he answered, ignoring her question.

Cat let out a sigh, wiping at the now closed wound, “Guess I’d be lying if I said it never crossed my mind.”

“Had ample opportunity to act on it,” he tilted his head, eyes following as she put everything away.

“I said it crossed my mind,” she gave a smirk, “not that it was anything more serious than that.” Cat got up from the sofa quickly hiding the small blush that was coming to her cheeks, grabbing a new shirt for Wes, tossing it his way, “I don’t think we’d work out in the long run in a romantic way.”

He pulled the shirt on, careful of the stitches on his ribs, “What makes you say that?” 

His face took on a hurt expression, hands looking for something to mess with, shoulders slumped over. Her face softened, lightly touching his shoulder as she sat next to him, “I say that because you deserve better than me.” The corners of Cat’s lips turned upward into a quick smile as she watched his mouth start to open in protest, “Let me explain what I mean before you start trying to correct me.”

His golden eyes glanced her way before giving a quick nod, Cat settled herself more going over her thought process. “Don’t get me wrong Wes, we’d be happy, on top of the world, and so in love that people would get cavities just being in proximity,” she grabbed his hand, “But that love isn’t sustainable, not for either of us. When you love someone like that, you have to feel like there’s a balance in all aspects.” 

“I feel like you do sometimes,” Wes said softly.

“And there it is, sometimes. Wes it has to be all the time. You and I don't have balance where it’s most important.” Cat paused, “We both are very giving in nature and in turn will take whatever is given back to us because we need to feel some kind of connection. We would have too much of that and we need people that will tell us when to stop.” She turned his face towards hers, “Wes I can’t ever really say no to you and that’s not what you need in a long term partner. Sure from a friend it's okay but not when it comes to life long commitment. Does that make sense?”

Wes gave a shrug, “A little.”

“In essence you need someone that will challenge you, make you see life a little differently so you can grow into it the way you were meant to. I’m more of a support while you figure that out, I can try but I know I won’t be the best at it, not in the way that you need.” Cat looked down to his hand in hers, continuing, “I’m also not someone you deserve because there are some things about you that I could never fully and truly understand. I can empathize with so many things Wes, but there are some life experiences that I can only sympathize with and you need and deserve someone that can.”

“Someone like, John,” Cat nodded, “It doesn’t feel the same with him, not like how you love me.”

“No two loves are going to feel the same, Wes,” she countered, “I love both you, Raf, and Lance the same amount and I’ll tell you now each one feels different. Lance is protective, stable, and parental like my own dad. That feeling of being noticed when you’re lost from your parents at a busy mall, you trust them because they have kind eyes and stay until your parents come back for you. Raf is structure, helpful, and,” All consuming, “consistent. Like testing to see if a video game has fall damage and then the relief when you find out that it doesn’t because you now know the parachute is going to open each time just before you hit the ground. It also feels like light that someone left behind just for you.”

“You though,” Cat looked up into his eyes, “that love feels soft, warm, hopeful, and like peace, our own little treehouse overlooking the field behind a house. It's hard to describe just right but it's something you come back to because there's a sense of safety in it that can only come from that one place. That’s what it feels like for me to love you.” She smiled, “I bet if you really look at all the people that you love and care for you’ll find that each one feels different in some way and that’s okay. That’s kind of how it's supposed to be.”

“How do you know which one’s the right one?” Wes looked at her expectantly as Cat searched for the feelings that had her marrying Theo. Searching for the right word that would convey the unique feeling into something that could resonate with Wes. Some way that would be easy to understand and simplify the complexity.

“You’ll feel….some kind of….whole.” 

“Whole,” he repeated.

“Yeah, whole,” she smiled as his face showed signs of disbelief and confusion, “Every person that you love and loves you in return contributes to this puzzle that is you, but there will be spaces open for that one person that will complete the whole thing. That can be yourself, a friend, or a romantic partner. Once they’re there, you won’t really feel like there are any open spaces left, you’ll feel whole.”

“You think people can find it again if they lose it?” Wes asked eyes flicking down for a millisecond to the leather bracelet Cat moved to cover up on instinct at the question. 

Her fingers playing with the metal circle, “I want to believe so. That answer though is up to you at that point.”

Wes let out a huff sitting back in the chair, eyes turned upward at the ceiling, “Not really meant to be simple is it,” Cat stayed silent, watching him, “This is why feelings are the worst.”

“Well we have them and we can’t really put them back,” Cat laughed, “Just give it some time Wes. You’ll figure it all out in the end, just have to remember to not run away this time.”

“Nah, couldn’t do that to you Catnip,” he turned smirking, “Pretty sure you’d follow me and drag me back.”

She shook her head, “Not what I meant, Wes. You’re right, but not what I meant.” Wes waved her words off, Cat exhaling slowly, “Well I think that’s enough therapy for the night.” Cat stood moving to the table holding stacks of tapes and dvds, “Music or movie while we wait for dinner?”

“Movie? You pick though.”

“Your suffering Brooks,” Cat mumbled, looking through settling on The Goonies. “Here this one shouldn’t be so bad.”

He glanced at the summary on the back of the case, “A bunch of kids go treasure hunting?”

“Yeah,” she answered, loading the movie, “So many quotable parts about that movie! Trust me you’ll have a good time.” Wes shook his head settling into the couch more as Cat took her place laying her head in his lap. His fingers started to run through her hair as the car chase began in the movie, “Wes, you may forget your worth and what you deserve, but I never will,” she looked up to his face, “So I’ll remind you until it sticks in that big brain of yours.”

[valeriethepussycats]

Assemble

Chapter 5

Pairing- Loki x Reader x Steve (one side)

Warning- cursing 

Your thoughts and other characters are in italics.

Flashbacks are in bold

Your favorite TV show- y/tv

Your Harry potter house- y/h

After Ororo kisses Y/n’s forehead she starts running away trying to make it out of the woods so she wouldn’t be Capture by the Weapon X Program. When Ororo makes it out the woods she comes across a  small town.

What have I done I left her when they after me was

This was Ororo’s only thought.  She had to fight the impulse to run back into the woods and save her daughter. Apart of her knew that her daughter was already gone. What is the point of both of us getting taking said  a darker another part of her. Feeling conflicted about everything Ororo starts to cry.

“You should listen to yourself it would’ve been pointless if you both would have gotten caught.” Said a voice behind Ororo.

Turning around Ororo see a man in a wheelchair. “Who are you?” Ororo questioned.

“I’m Charles Xavier and when came out the store I felt  overwhelmed  sadness coming from you I wanted to make sure cyou were ok but clearly you’re not....what is the matter?” Charles asked.

“These people they were after me and now they have my daughter. They experiment on mutants..... I have to do something to find her.” Ororo explained.

“How would you do it? If you had the power to stop them you would’ve.” Charles stated.

“May you can. Can you help me save my daughter please I’ll do anything.” Ororo pleaded as she wipes her face.  

“There’s not much I can do I’m just a man in a wheelchair who want to create a world were mutant can walk outside without fear.” Charles declared.

“What about my daughter I’ll never see her again.” Ororo sobbed.

Charles lay a comforting hand on Storm’s shoulder. “You never had a daughter Ororo your here because you want to help with your Mutant abilities.” Charles lied as he planted a thought inside  Ororo’s head.

Ororo stops sobbing and looks at Charles In curiosity.

“My school is for mutants who can’t control their powers or want to be around other  people of their kind.” Charles informed Ororo. “Does that seem like a place where you want to be?”

“Yes it does sound like a place I would want to be.” Ororo said with a smile.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

On the Helicarrier Tony and Bruce are working on their monitors to find the Location of the Tesseract.

“That’s the guy my dad never shut up about? Wondering if they shouldn’t have kept him on ice.” Tony remarked.

“The guy’s not wrong about Loki. He does have the jump on us.” Bruce agreed with Steve.

“What he’s got is an ACME dynamite kit.”  Tony mocked. “It's gonna blow up in his face, and I'm gonna be there when it does.”

“And I'll read all about it.” Bruce replied.

“Uh-huh. Or you'll be suiting up like the rest of us.” Tony disclosed.

“Ah, see. I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed, like a nerve. It's a nightmare.” Bruce  explained.

“You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart. Tony started then points at the mini arc reactor in his chest. “This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a... terrible privilege.”

“But you can control it.” Bruce pointed out.

“Because I learned how.”

“It's different.” Banner tries to read the computer screen, but Tony slides the  data aside with his finger so the two can see face-to-face.

“Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have  killed you.” Tony put forth.”

“So you're saying that The Hulk... the other guy... saved my life?” Bruce asked. “That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?”

“I guess we'll find out.” Tony replied.

Banner and Stark get back to work at their respective computers.

“You might not like that.”

“You just might.”

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Y/n walks into the room and uses her powers to cover up the cameras with a small little cloud she walks over to Loki so he has his back to her and waits for her to speak.

“Where is the Tesseract?”  Y/n question.

“35 minutes that’s how long it taken you to finally come in here. Loki announced. “See me you felt some thing when you first saw me like your world slow down and all you saw was me.”

How the hell does he know that .....ignore his question that’s what he wants to take the tension off of him

“Where is the Tesseract.” Y/n repeated her question.

“I don’t know where is but if you want to take a look inside my mind I wouldn’t object.” Loki said with a smirk daring wanting Y/n to do it.

Not trying to show her shock she starts to walks around Loki’s cell.

“So you don’t know where it is when you’re the one who took it.”

“Yes.” Loki said Dead serious.

“You’re a real piece of work you know that. Why did you let yourself be captured come on let’s be honest if Thor and his friends can hold their own in a fight I damn well you can.” Y/n proclaimed.

“It was a fair match I was over powered.” Loki lied.

“Bullshit. You expect me to believe that you got caught nah. You want this to happen you want to be here and I wanna know why because your prize possession ain’t here.” Y/n pointed out.

“You got me.  Something told me that you were going to be here I let myself get caught so I could finally met you in person.” Loki answered.

“Why would you do that?”  Y/n wondered.

“You are beautiful beyond measures and you’re nothing like anyone I ever met before You’re different like me.” Loki announced.

“You don’t know me.” Y/n informed sassily.

“I know everything there is to know about you Y/n L. Munroe.  I also know that you want information about what truly happened that night.” Loki commented.

“How do you know that.” Y/n questioned walking up to the glass of the cell.

“A trickster never reveals his tricks.” Loki answered with a smirk.

“Why do I feel this pull towards.....like everything inside of me is screaming to break this glass just to be close to you.” Y/n said touching the glass.

“Then why don’t you.” Loki whispered as he placed his hand where Y/n is on the glass.

“Because your the enemy. You want war.” Y/n Replied as searches Loki mind for the Tesseract.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

“What do you know of Agent Munroe?” Loki asked Clint.

“She is a powerful mutant that can control the weather and read minds.” Clint answered.

Loki calls over two Shield agents. “I want you to tell Dr. Selvig to take the Tesseract and find his opening.” Loki ordered then walks out the underground to get an eyeball.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Damn it he doesn’t know where the Tesseract is.

“I want to be a King and every King needs a Queen.” Loki breathed his words at Y/n.

I understand why eve ate that Fucking Apple

“I need to go.” Y/n rushes out the room and bumps into Thor.

“ You. Me. Talk. Now.” Y/n pulls Thor into The nearest room and close the door.

“What the hell you mean he’s here because of me?”

“I forgot you could read minds.”  Thor stated.

“It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose.” Y/n assured Thor.

“You and my brother are meant to be it’s been written in the stars of Asgard it’s a great honor.” Thor explained.

“What!?”

“My mother told me after Loki died or least we thought he did. She created a spell to find Loki a true love and it’s you.”

Is that’s why I feel the way I feel about him.

“Enough about Loki tell me about you how have you been. Have you seen Jane yet .” Y/n asked taking a sit on on the couch.

“No I haven’t I don’t think I will.” Thor answered taking a sit next to Y/n.

“Because after you leave here you have to go back home.”  Y/n expressed.

“It will be to hard.” Thor replied with a sad smile.

“I understand  it’s ok buddy.” Y/n said as she lays her head on Thor’s shoulder.

“How about you anything interesting happened after our last encounter?” Thor asked.

“I found out my mother is alive.” Y/n answered dryly.

“That’s........Amazing.” Thor proclaimed.

“She left me at the hands of people who hunt and experimented on mutants.”

“My.... apologies”

“I was five I loved her she was my world. All we had was each other. I.....I blamed myself for her death I thought if I would’ve just stayed awake or kept running....” Y/n trailed  off.

“Things would’ve ended differently.” Thor finished for Y/n.

“Ya.....what are we gonna do about Loki.” Y/n said getting up from the couch to pace back-and-forth.

“I was hoping you do something.” Thor proposed.

“I read his mind he gave the cube to Erik and told him to find an opening.”  Y/n answered.

“How did he know about your powers?” Thor questioned.

“Agent Barton told him.....Look I’m gonna go get some sleep I’m over working my brain.” Y/n said in a tired voice.

“Already.”

“I really did miss you Thor.” Y/n said with a smile.

“And I you.” Thor returned the smile.

Y/n walks out the room to her Temporary quarters Y/n lays down in her room she closes her eyes and drift off into a deep sleep.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Y/n wakes up and see she’s not in her bed she gets out of the bed and walks to the nearest window and pull back the curtains and see a city made of gold.

Asgard

Y/n smiles as she looks at every detail. Seemingly built into the rock, large structures with sweeping terraces top many of the cliffs; gleaming pyramids, statues, and columns surround Odin's palace. Another notable feature in Asgard is the-

“The Rainbow Bridge.” Y/n Announced.

“Actually it’s called The Bifrost Bridge.” Said a voice behind Y/n making turn around fast.

It’s Loki. But he looks different he doesn’t have that evil look in his eyes there soft.

“Loki.” Y/n whispered his name. “What are you doing here? What am I doing here.”

“You’re in my mind,when you saw me for the first time we became linked.” Loki explained.

“Oh.”

“Will you have breakfast with me?” Loki asked.

“Breakfast?” Y/n said with a smile.

“You must change.”

Just then two ladies comes walking in the room with to dress then they lay them on the bed and bow at Y/n.

“Don’t you think this is a little too formal. It’s just breakfast.”  Y/n stressed.

“These are Asgard customs.” Loki Informed Y/n.

“Ok I’ll be down in few minutes.”

Loki bow his head then walks out the room.

Why are they bowing at me

Y/n  walks over to the dress on the bed. The one on the left is a long and green with cross stitching on the chest. But the one on the right was long and tan light with red sugar Maple Leafs climbing from the bottom of the dress to around the neck leaving the upper chest expose. Y/n  picks up the dress and smiles.

I not really a dress girl but who could deny this one

Y/n  puts the dress on and walks over to the mirror.

Damn I look good

Y/n walks out the room not bother to fix her hair but it was already in her favorite hair style. The ladies that brought the dresses in the room walks Y/n  to the dining hall. When she gets there she see Loki waiting for her. Loki take Y/n’s hand and walks her to her sit.

“This is all so much.” Y/n  said taking a sit.

“Nonsense anything for you.” Loki said pushing Y/n’s sit in.

”Thank you...I’ve only seen Asgard from Thor’s memories but this is beautiful.” Y/n

“This is my memories.” Loki told Y/n as he takes his sit.

Y/n looks around the Grate Hall in  amazement. There’s two tables a shorter one thats the one Loki and Y/n are at then it’s the longer one where Loki has every earth breakfast food on it.  As Y/n is distracted by the architectural structure of the Castle Loki is looking at her noticing every detail of her face.

“This is really beautiful Loki.” Y/n Praised.

“Not beautiful then you.” Loki remarked.

When Y/n finally looks at Loki she see that he’s giving her the “looks” you know the see into your soul look.

“Loki, what am I doing here?” Y/n wondered.

“I want to know you better is that a crime.”  Loki answered.

“No it is not but I know there’s more to it.” Y/n disclosed.

“I want to know everything about you in exchange I’ll tell you about the night your mother disappeared.” Loki proposed.

“Ok. What do you want to know?” Y/n asked.

“Anything.” Loki breathed.

“Well I find nature relaxing, best years of my life was when I lived in New Orleans with  Gambit, November 18  is the day I control my power l just remember this overwhelming sadness that I couldn’t control.  I caused a state wide earthquake and black out even some city in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Connecticut had black outs. Think I care to much. I’m passionate about everything I do. When I’m losing control of my powers I think of my time with Gambit and it always seem to work. I think I watch y/tv  to much.  My house is y/h . You remain me of Professor Snape a good guy in disguise.

“Who’s Professor Snape is he someone important to you?” Loki asked.

“He’s important to everyone who reads Harry Potter. You see Professor Snape was portrayed to be a bad guy but he never was he was an asshole yes  but not a bad guy. He cared for Harry because he was a piece of the woman he loved.....I’m sorry I really the loved books and movies Gambit used to read them to me.” Y/n stated with a smile.

“No it’s fine you said you were passionate about everything.”  Loki said with an fond look.

Y/n  smiles and starts to eat her pancakes. As Y/n is eating some syrup gets on the corner of Y/n’s mouth. Loki looks Y/n in the eyes as he reaches over and slowly wipes the syrup away from Y/n’s mouth with his thumb. He  then puts the pad of this thumb into his mouth. Y/n is shocked by Loki sudden movement.

“You had syrup on your cheek.” Loki told Y/n

“Um....thanks....Um the view is amazing.” Y/n  gets up and walks over to the balcony needing to put space between her and Loki. But it was in vane Loki walks up behind her.

“I’ve seen something far more amazing.” Loki

“Why are you doing this are trying to put me under your spell?” Y/n wondered.

“No I would never.” Loki said serious voice.

“Then what’s going on.”  

“I just want to be here with you.”

And in that moment Y/n  knew that Loki  was serious even asked all the times he told her he was she finally believed.  Y/n turns around and smiles at Loki she ledes in and kisses him. She then starts to get flashes of Loki’s childhood and smiles into the kiss.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Steve, with all his might, slides the heavy iron door and stealthily walks in. Secure storage 10-C is a large warehouse, filled with Metal crates stacked. Steve looks up, seeing another level. He leaps up high and holds onto the catwalk railing. Steve continues to move forward.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Inside this particular van, Selvig and a few other soldiers are  driving inside a long tunnel. With the CMS device inside, Selvig carefully picks up the small cylinder shape Iridium with metal prongs and lightly places it a slot within the CMS. The CMS Accepts it and Selvig looks at it, devilishly smiling.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

After “accepting” Charles offer to be be apart of this school Ororo went on to be known as the X-Men Storm somewhat of a caretaker of the children at Charles’s school. This was every day routine for Ororo waking up teaching children taking care of them and then probably go out scouting for more mutants with Jean or Scott but this time Charles had a different approach he paired her up with Logan. Yes you heard right the mutant with an unstoppable healing power, adamantium metal claws and no-nonsense attitude and one of the most ferocious heroes in the universe.

Logan and Ororo walk into Cerebro and see Charles. “You wanted to see us Chuck?” Logan  asked.

“There’s this mutant in Manhattan with a the power that can take the potential energy stored in an object and convert it to kinetic energy thus “charging” that item with explosive results. I need you to find him he has information on a mutant that  I need to find.” Charles informed Ororo and Logan.

“What’s he’s name Professor?” Ororo asked.

“Remy LeBeau but he also goes by Gambit.” Charles answered.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Gambit is at a bar late night drowning his sorrows in whiskey. Thinking about all the choices that led to him being here at a bar in Manhattan drinking he’s life away. He missed Y/n more then anything she was his daughter.

Gambit nod at Nick then  walks over to Y/n. “I guess is the end of the road.” Gambit commented.

“Can you promise me one thing?” Y/n Asked.

“What is it?” Gambit wondered with a curious tone.

“Don’t forget about me.” Y/n said with a sad smile.

“Never in a million years.” Gambit promised in a fatherly way.

Y/n hugs Gambit like her life depended on it.

“I love you.” Y/n sniffled.

Gambit pulls back from the hug to wipe Y/n’s tears “I love you too petit.” Gambit replied.“ This isn’t goodbye you’re gonna see me.”

Gambit shakes his head not wanting to remember what he said it makes him feel like a liar. He hasn’t seen her in years apart of him wonders if she would see him would she remember him? Gambit didn’t want to think about that he didn’t want that to be a Possibility. Gambit orders and another glass of whiskey and just when the bartender hands him he’s drinking two people approach him.

“I’m in no mood to fight so whatever business you have with me can it wait.” Gambit announced.

“You Remy LeBeau?”  Logan asked.

“That depends on who’s asking.”  Gambit stated.

“Charles Xavier he wants to know what happened in Canada with you and a mutant.”Ororo explained.

“And who might you be?” Gambit questioned as he turns around and see Logan and Ororo.

“Storm.”

“Stormy. You know my real name but I don’t know your.”

“And that’s how we like bub.” Logan Chimed in.

“No it’s fine I’m Ororo Munroe.”  Ororo told Gambit.

“I figure you were.” Gambit  downs his drink then pays for it and walks out the bar with  Ororo and Logan following closely.

“You asked nice now it’s my turn.”

Gambit pulls out a deck of cards and charge them. “Looks not looking for a fight ok you want to know what happened in Canada.  A little girl woke up in a cell across from mine crying out for her ma. Experimented on her and made her into a powerful mutant. The black out that happened on November 18 her I no doubt.” Gambit explained. “If you came here thinking I know where your daughter is you are mistaken.”

“What’s he talking about?” Logan questioned.

“I don’t know? I have a daughter?”

“I would seem that the good old Professor did more then help you crop. Look I’m not mad at you because you’ve getting me something I never knew I wanted.” Gambit said walks away.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

On a Shield monitor is a photo and record of Jane Foster. Thor looks at her, remembering all the moments they had together.

“As soon as Loki took the doctor we moved Jane Foster. We've got an excellent observatory in Traunsee. She was asked to consult there very

suddenly yesterday. Handsome fee, private plane, very remote. She'll be safe.” Agent Coulson informed Thor.

“Thank you. It's no accident Loki taking Erik Selvig. I dread what he plans for him once he's done. Erik is a good man.” Thor declared.

“He talks about you a lot. You changed his life. You changed everything around here.” Agent Coulson told Thor.

“They were better as they were. We pretend on Asgard that we're more advanced, but we...we come here battling like Bilchsteim.” Thor replied.

“Like what?” Agent Coulson asked.

“Bilchsteim? You know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?” Thor wondered.

“Don't think so.”  Agent Coulson answered.                      

“They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path.” Thor walks over to the side of the ship and looks out the window, lamenting about what has happened and what may come. “When I first came to earth, Loki's rage  followed me here and your people paid the price. And now again. In my youth I courted war.”          

“War hasn't started yet. Nick Chimed. “You think you can make Loki tell us what the Tesseract is?

“I do not know. Loki's mind is far afield, it's not just power he craves,it's vengeance upon me. There's no pain hat would prize his need from him.” Thor explained.

“Loki is a prisoner he can’t do anything to here I won’t let it happen.” Thor proclaimed.

“Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?” Nick questioned.

Thor doesn't answer.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

When Y/n woke up from the dream world she was both relieved and upset. Loki had her flustered and that’s what made her upset. So Y/n walked to the combat room and turns one one of the drone.

“Who would you like to fight?” The drone asked.

“Surprises me.” Y/n answered.

The combat room changes into a living room of a middle class family house.

“Not the living room scenario.” Y/n protested.

The drone takes form of Sabretooth. A feral mutant named Victor Creed, his an animalistic mutant who possesses superhuman strength, mobility and cat-like claws and teeth and  He’s also Wolverine's brother.

You got to be kidding me I fought him one time

Without warning Sabretooth throws Y/n crashing her coffe table in front of the sofa.

“Why is it always the table and never the sofa.”

Y/n kicks Sabretooth in the chest,knocking the big man into a table on the right wall, where he crashes into the  Vases and slides to the floor in a tumult of glass shards and water. Y/n springs to her feet and swings at Sabretooth, again and again, her fist whooshing through the air. Sabretooth grabs Y/n's right wrist. With no room to dodge, Y/n drives her head forward,smashing Sabretooth's face with a glorious headbutt.  As Sabretooth staggers back, Y/n picks up a broken leg from the table and points it at Sabretooth’s neck.

“You know there’s an easier way with dealing with-“Natasha turns off the simulator and the table leg disappears out of Y/n’s hand “Anger.”

“I’m Frustrated Nat. Loki knew I could read minds so he had the cube sent somewhere without him knowing.” Y/n explained.

A red glow starts to form around Y/n. Masking her worry Natasha walks over to Y/n. “You know what’s happens when that part of you takes over.”

“But what if the Phoenix taking over stops Loki and no one gets hurt?” Y/n questioned.

“Y/n there will always be collateral damage in anything that involves saving someone or saving everyone.” Natasha told Y/n.

“Your right......I’m gonna go check on Bruce and Tony in they lab.” Y/n about to walk out the room but Natasha’s voice stops her.

“I was told to find you and give you this.” Natasha hands Y/n a folded piece of paper.

“It’s your Remy LeBeau.”

“Thank you.”  

“Don’t thank me thank Director Fury.”

Y/n smiles at Natasha then walks out the combat room.

Part 6

[rannadylin]

For the end of the year asks, 5, 10, 12, 25, 32, 34, 70, 93, 94?

So many, thank you!

5. Something you enjoyed about lockdown?

Drinking more tea than I usually can on a school day! (Both during the initial spring lockdown when I was teaching from home, and during the recent remote phase we did where teachers were at school but kids stayed home…I have really upped my “brewing tea in my classroom” game in the last six weeks…) Also, just all the peace and quiet. And for the part of lockdown where we taught from home, being able to sleep in a little more!

10. Favorite lockdown activity?

Knitting! I’m not sure if this is a fair answer since that was my favorite pre-lockdown activity too but hey, lockdown means I got to do more of it. (Also, my favorite lockdown activity might just be…having an excuse not to leave my house very often…I still haven’t actually got tired of that part.)

12. Any new hobbies you tried out during lockdown?

Well I intended to try to crochet some flowers – bought patterns and supplies back in the spring and haven’t yet started on them. Likewise there’s a cross stitch kit waiting for me to attempt it. XD Not quite new hobbies though as I’ve learned to do both of those in years past, I just prefer knitting most of the time now. So, new hobbies…uh…no, it’s really just all knitting and sometimes cooking/baking…

25. Favorite online shop?

So that’ll be a tie between the three that my parents wisely sent me birthday gift cards for since we couldn’t gather for birthday gift exchanging: Knit Picks for yarn, Jeni’s for ice cream, and Adagio for tea! (Best lockdown birthday ever.)

32. Favorite book you read that year?

Return of the Thief, last of the Queen’s Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner!

34. Favorite movie you watched this year?

Um, most of what I watched was CritRole and baking/cooking shows. Actual movies? Well, I just finished watching all three Back to the Future movies since they’re leaving Netflix at the end of the month (I had previously only seen the first one) and that was pretty awesome. :-D

70. Any weird coping techniques you developed during or after lockdown?

…if they’re weird I haven’t noticed? Honestly, lockdown is just a much more Ranna-friendly environment than I would have expected so I don’t think I have.

93. NYRs you kept?

I never make any. I might make a resolution to change behavior sometime during the year if I see a need to but I never do it for New Year’s specifically. It’s the middle of a school year. I have no attention to spare for changing any behaviors in January.

94. NYRs you have for next year?

See above. XD My main resolution is to survive one more semester of pandemic teaching, especially since the corporation wants us to basically do hybrid teaching this semester as if the system we had going for most of first semester wasn’t stressing teachers out enough.

End of the Year Ask Game

[lynneshobbydomain]

Memories To Last (OwaMiki Week 2020 Day 4)

((Damn I’m late. I will possibly come back to this and polish this to a better look. Also please, please, please be wary of the tags. The prompt was angst and I came prepared with angst. Please if anything is triggering for you don’t touch it! This will include Major Character Death as well. Thank you so much for OwaMiki Week 2020 for hosting this event!))

Prompt: Angst/Soulmate-Au

Rating: T (16+)

Summary: The said that high school romances don’t last long, and they were lucky that they lasted as long as they did. MIkan thought about how she met Mondo and how they said their inevitable goodbyes.

You can read under the cut or here at my AO3

They said that high school romances don’t last long, and that they were lucky to have lasted for as long as they did. Mikan supposed that was an accurate assumption, as most high school romances did die after graduation. After the initial rebelling against fate and the words that were etched on everyone’s skin, they would unintentionally find their soulmate as they went out into the world. The statistics of finding one’s soulmate in a high school setting was astronomically low. 

She had met hers in the courtyard during lunch. Mahiru, Ibuki, and Hiyori were waiting for her underneath a shaded tree. Mikan had been trying to restock the nurse’s office, as it was her Ultimate and she was shadowing the former Ultimate School Nurse to practice her talent. Today the Nurse was absent, and Mikan had been allowed to miss school until she came back in order to practice and take care of the students. Mikan didn’t doubt that it was an early practical test since taking care of real patients would determine more than a dummy would. 

She was going to have to eat lunch quickly and go back to her job so that if someone got sick or hurt, they would be able to find her. She rushed out of the school and without looking where she was going, slammed herself into a hard wall that made her fall to the ground, hitting her rump and lower back. 

“Shit are ya okay?” She opened her watering eyes to see a hand being held out to her, and a tough-looking gangster standing above her. Her eyes widened in fear before she scrambled up, ignoring the burning on her right forearm as she got onto her feet. She missed the scarred words turning red in acknowledgement until much later that day.

“I-I’m o-okay. I’m so so-sorry!” Mikan apologized profusely. “P-please let me g-go.” Before he could say anything, she grabbed her things and ran away from him. 

It would take days before she would speak to him again. She knew that he was her soulmate, and she felt so ashamed of herself for just running. Of course she would get someone terrifying as a soulmate. Of course it was going to be someone that would probably hurt her. She knew that soulmates were supposed to be good for each other, and that they were supposed to bring out the best in each other, but...she wasn’t sure about this. Gang members never were kind and they were always in dangerous situations. Mikan didn’t want any trouble. She just wanted him to stay as far away from her as possible.

Mikan now would roll her eyes at the teenager that she was. It took Mondo coming into the nurse’s office with a good gash on his head, bleeding and bruised. As if he had just come out from a scrap. She nearly toppled over her supplies in shock when she saw him, bent over against the frame of the door. Both of each other looked, and the scary-looking bike leader was about to leave.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Mikan called out after him, getting to his side and grabbing his arm. “You need to rest and that cut looks dangerous. You need to sit down.”

“Ya don’ want anythin’ to do with me.” Mondo said gruffly. “I can handle it myself.”

“Now’s really not the time to put on a tough guy act.” Mikan panicked. Head injuries were no laughing matter. The slightest bump could be fatal if it was hit in the right place. She dragged him over towards a bed and made him sit down. “I’m going to ask you some questions now and I need to be honest with me and tell me what you think the answer is.”

“What is this a fuckin’ math test?” Mondo asked, his voice raising a little. Mikan flinched, but she had a feeling that he was worried about his own memory. What kind of signs he’d show. 

“Please?!” Mikan wasn’t above begging. “Please. I’ll do anything if you’ll just answer.” Wrong choice of words, but...it got him to stop and clamp his mouth shut. “What’s your name?”

“Mondo Oowada. Nice to fuckin’ meet you I guess.”

“Oowada-san.” Mikan said slowly, “I’m Mikan Tsumiki. It is nice to meet you too. Do you remember what day it is?”

“It’s a monday ain’t it?” Another raised pitch, he didn’t like being unsure of himself. 

“Good, but I was looking for a date.” Mikan prompted as she started to wash the wound. It was a shallow cut, nothing that would need stitches, but it liked to bleed. “Can you tell me that?”

“....Not really.”

“Okay. We can work with that. What’s the capital of Japan?”

“Tokyo. Obviously.”

“Where do you go to school?”

“Hope’s Peak Academy. Am I in the clear, nurse?” Mondo asked gruffly.

“You’re in the clear.” Mikan assured him as she finished putting the bandage on his head. She was grateful for no lasting damage, but she really hoped this wasn’t going to be a common occurrence. She fidgeted with her hands and she felt her throat tighten. She couldn’t let him leave without knowing how serious this was. “I-if you start feeling bad you need to come back here or go to the hospital. Headaches are probably going to be common, but if you start to get a migraine that doesn’t go away after a few hours, or if your stomach starts to get upset, then you want to consider emergency action. You need to have someone watch for you as you recover.”

“That’s it?” Mondo grinned. “Hell yeah. I was expectin’ somethin’ far worse than that! Thanks, doll.”

“Do-doll?!” Mikan stared at him before she remembered that a) this was her soulmate and b) she was going to have to get used to whatever pet name he gave her. “O-oh. Yo-you’re not upset wi-with me then?”

“Upset with you?” Mondo stared at her for a long moment before he looked away. “Look, I probably scared you when I asked if you were okay. I didn’t mean for my voice to get that loud and I was a bit nervous. Sorry.”

“N-no. I do-don’t blame you fo-for getting upset.” Mikan looked away, fidgeting. “Yo-you probably wo-would be an-angry that your soul-soulmate was a clutz li-like me. I do-don’t blame you for ha-hating me.”

“What the fuck?” Mondo looked up at her and Mikan bit her lower lip nervously. “Who the fuck am I punchin’?”

“Huh?!” Mikan immediately got worried. “No, you are not punching anyone! You ju-just got out of a fi-fight! You nee-need to rest more than, more than anything right now!” 

“No one should be sayin’ shit like that to you. Jesus Christ if I find out you’re-”

Mikan wasn’t sure if she should be touched with the fact that he was willing to fight someone on her behalf despite just meeting her and knowing tha she was his soulmate, or be worried that it was his first response. “I-it’s no big deal.” She assured. “Ri-right now you sho-shouldn’t be punching an-anyone. If you are I’m, uh, I’m going to b-be really m-mad at you.”

They both kept a look at each other and Mikan wanted to hide underneath a table or apologize. He was injured though, and she needed to stay on somewhat of a firm foot. He couldn’t jeopardize his health like that. Finally he looked away and got himself up. “I’ll keep an eye out on my injuries.” He said after a moment. “Thanks for lookin’ out for me Mikan.”

“An-anytime Oowada-san.”

“Mondo. Call me Mondo.”

It was supposed to be the end of that, but they continued to run into each other after that. Mikan was too worried about him to let him go, and he kept getting hurt every other week. Nagito would call it the best luck ever to have hit her and most of her classmates would agree. Of course, with Nagito’s superstition about his luck, whatever good happens, bad wasn’t too far behind. 

Of course all relationships had their ups and their downs, Mikan wouldn’t say that Mondo’s and hers was anything that was sweet and perfect. They fought. He was stubborn, she was a worry-wart, they both argued on the occasion about her getting hurt and her friends and in turn they’d argue about him and his bike riding and the fights that he would get himself into. He gave her more than enough heart attacks throughout high school, and the one time she wound up in the hospital herself made him snap.

“You’re comin’ home with me.” He said when he sat down next to her. The machines next to her beeped insistently. She had small gifts on her bedside table. If anyone wasn’t familiar with Mondo, they would’ve thought that he was trying to intimidate her with how close his chair was to her bed and how he sat, ready to get up on his feet and knock someone’s light’s out. His hands were already balled into fists, hanging on his lap. His expression is too serious to take lightly. 

Mikan didn’t have the heart or the energy to argue with him this time. She was lucky to have been able to crawl to the telephone and ask for the ambulance. She was used to being tortured and made fun of. She was used to having her hair pulled and yanked around. She was used to getting slammed into walls and being looked at. Being used in more ways than one. She deserved every little bit of it, she believed. Yet this time...this time she knew that they crossed the line. She broke her arm down the stairs and she couldn’t walk. She knew she tore something inside of her and she was right. 

As much as they hated her now, they were under arrest and the kit was done and the evidence was gathered. Mondo must’ve heard that she was stuck here through the grapevine. She didn’t doubt that Mahiru or Peko might’ve had an idea of what was going on. Peko considered that she was part of the yakuza and listened in on police scanners. Mahiru because if she was absent for anything, it was because she wasn’t in great shape. 

“O-okay.” Mikan murmured. “I’m so-sorry.”

“Not this time, nurse.” Mondo assured. “Nothin’ to be sorry. We’ll get it right.”

She still had no idea what that meant, but she could understand the implication. Mikan gathered what little she had and she did move in with the Ooada family and she had to learn fast to get used to loud voices. Every single one of them were loud. Yelling was a common household theme. 

They did their best to soften around her and they did their best to make sure that they weren’t overly obnoxious, but there were times where she heard Mondo’s mother knock a couple pans out of the way and made her flinch, and where she heard Mondo and his mother talk as though they were arguing when in reality it was just another conversation. 

Mikan brought her hands together and rubbed them against her forehead, trying to keep her heart from breaking further at the memories that were playing through her mind. Their first date. Their first kiss. The first time he called her “babe”. The moment he proposed to her and married her. 

“What do ya think of kids?”  

Mikan was trying to help wash dishes and hadn’t expected the question. The plate slipped out of her fingers dropped back into the soapy water, splashing at her mercilessly. Mondo laughed and she let out a sharp whine giving him a look. “Yo-you did that on pu-purpose!” She was getting better at trying to bicker with him. It was how he showed he was close to people and it didn’t do her any good to apologize with a head bowed low. He inspired her to be confident, and in turn their apartment wasn’t filled with banging doors and softer expressions of affection.

“Nah. I was actually just curious. I was just thinkin’ about it and was wondering your thoughts. Not expectin’ an answer though. I’m damn happy to be where I am now. No pressure.”

“Kids.” Mikan mused as she reached for the plate and started to scrub it again. She let her mind wander as she tried to picture the family. It would have to be a big one, Mondo wasn’t the type that would go for just one. If he was then that would be a surprise. She thought about where they were in their lives. Mikan worked extremely long hours and she barely got to be home. Mondo worked as a carpenter, but still rode his bike on occasion with his gang since they got married. Between the two of them they made enough to be comfortable, and it’d stay like that if they had one or two. “I…” She trailed off. “Maybe.” She said in answer.

“Again there’s really no fuckin’ pressure.” Mondo looked at her. “I’m happy as we are.”

“Y-yes, but…” Mikan trailed off. “I do wan-want to be a mot-mother. I ju-just don’t kno-know how good of one I-I’d be. W-we could d-do it if w-we wanted to.”

“I get it.” Mondo said quietly as he took the plate from her and started drying it. Mikan panicked a little inwardly, trying to think of where she might’ve gone wrong in her statement. “I don’t know how good of a father I’d be. My dad ditched my mom after I was born. Mom had to raise me and Daiya by her lonesome.”

“I-I don’t thi-think you’d leave.” Mikan assured. “I-if any-anything yo-you’d stick so close t-to me we wo-would be att-attached to the hip.”

“Hell yea.” Mondo flashed her a grin. “So you in or you out?”

No pressure. Mikan smiled thoughtfully. “In.” She said, mustering all the confidence in the world to say it.

Of course that was the start of the problem wasn’t it? It was the start where everything that went wrong could go wrong. Mikan nor Mondo ever really told anyone about it. It had happened so quickly, and they were internally grateful that they both had thought to wait on announcing anything when it happened.

Mondo and Mikan threw themselves into work, but they also threw themselves together when they were able to meet again from long work hours, trying to recover from the loss. They talked here and there about trying again, but the moment always felt wrong to them both. As if they were trying to replace something that couldn’t ever be replaced. 

Now this and Mikan was devastated. She looked up from tracing the words on her arms as she looked at Mondo’s lying form in the hospital bed. It had been a wreck. She was on call for thirty six hours, and she had just barely started her shift when she was told to get off the clock and get into the waiting room. There was no way she could help, it was unethical practice and she was too emotionally attached to the patient. All she could do was pray and pray and pray…

But praying didn’t work here and his mother was sitting on the other side of him. Brain dead, they said. He was on life support, but there was no way that was going to continue. There was no way it was going to last. Mikan twisted her rings, trying to come up with something to say but she couldn’t.

How did she miss her arm turning black?

“Hey babe, me the boys are going to go on one last ride around the town.”

Mikan looked up from reading and she grinned at him. It had been a hot minute since he thought about going with his friends. “B-be safe.” She told him sincerely.

“Always.” He walked behind her and gave her an upside down kiss, cupping her cheek and stroking her hair, just the way she liked before he moved off of her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mikan beamed.

Of course it wasn’t every day the last words spoken were going to be loving ones. She saw blackened words of hate and of ambiguity. She saw how her patient’s lovers and friends all felt remorse for the things that they said, things that they wish they could say. She was grateful that Mondo didn’t live like that. 

He lived with saying everything that he needed to say. There wasn’t a person in their friend group that could have remorse. More conversations? Of course, that would be the most common regret. More hangouts? More invites? More being around each other? Mikan knew those kinds of regrets wouldn’t sit well with the biker. 

“I-is it okay if…” Mikan let out a shuddering breath, trying to hold herself together even though she wanted to burst into tears. Later. She could fall apart later. “If I...called his friends? L...let t-them-”

“Of course.” Her mother in law said quietly. It was the first time and the only time Mikan ever heard her talk so soft. As though she was afraid that she was going to wake Mondo up. Mikan wanted to assure her that Mondo could sleep through anything, but...that was the point now. She stumbled upwards and went into the hallway. 

She didn’t go to the phone at first, she went straight to the bathroom and turned on the faucet as loud as she could get it. She burst into tears and collapsed onto her knees. She as all alone. She was going to be all alone. She wasn’t going to go to the apartment and see him. She wasn’t going to hear him yell for her across the  apartment. They weren’t going to bicker over little things like dinner plans and dates. They weren’t going to cuddle on the couch and watch something stupid on the television. They weren’t going to….

She cried until her heart couldn’t take it and her stomach hurt. She cried until her body ached and she just wanted to go home and wrap herself in a blanket. She wanted to pretend that this was all a bad dream and that he was going to be at the apartment. This was just a nightmare and she was going to wake up. 

She was going to wake up?

She stood on wobbling legs and she held herself steady on the sink. Her face was splotchy and her eyes were swollen and red. She looked like a mess and she couldn't bring herself to apologize for it. Not even to her reflection. She turned the water off, not needing it anymore to hide her sobbing and crying. She tried to find a way to pull herself together, but every time she thought she stitched herself up correctly she wanted to fall apart again.

She needed to call his friends.

Taka.

Makoto.

She needed to call them especially. She stumbled out of the bathroom and headed towards the phones. She apologized over and over again, her voice breaking. She couldn’t remember exactly what she said, or what she was told...but she knew that the message got across and…

Taka was there within an instant. She knew it took him much longer than that, but he was there within a good few minutes. Makoto wasn’t far behind. It...was hard to be there with them. Taka was unashamed in his emotions and she burst back into tears as he cried. They both hugged each other, trying desperately to comfort each other but at the same time understanding that the loss was going to be inevitable. Makoto also shed tears, and was dragged into a hug as well. 

They tried to swap stories, share memories, but it was raw. It was hard. Mikan felt like it was poking at a bruise that had yet to heal, still fresh. She thought about him in the nurses office and all the times in between with wounds and a smile. He was bulletproof until he wasn’t anymore.

She went back to her apartment soon afterwards, unable to keep her eyes open and knowing she needed the strength for what would come next. The plans, the goodbyes, the event. Mondo would want all of his friends there, his ex-gang. They undoubtedly felt ashamed for what had happened, and she couldn’t...bring herself to hate them. It was easier to forgive. 

She sat on the bed, trying to keep herself together but knowing that she was going to fall apart. She was alone. The apartment felt empty and devoid of life. She rubbed her arm again, tracing the black words as she tried to keep her sanity. The only positive thought that went through her mind was what her friends had told her a long time ago. That high school romances didn’t last long, and that they were lucky to have lasted as long as they did. 

[writtingsparxx]

Gun in My Hand

Title: Gun in My Hand Pairing: Reader/McCree Rating: Mature, eventually explicit Notes:  Please be aware that this story contains graphic depictions of violence, gun use, blood mention, and PTSD symptoms. Reader discretion is advised Summary:  What happens when a young combat medic who believes above all else to do no harm meets the Blackwatch team, and specifically a young sharp-shooter by the name of Jesse McCree? Also available to read on Ao3

The first time you ever shot a gun was because of Jesse McCree. You had been a combat medic with Overwatch for just over two years when you met the rambunctious young man. He was a member of the elite strike team known as Blackwatch, led by Commander Reyes. You had heard a little bit about the team, but it wasn’t widely spoken of. The only people who knew really anything about the team were a handful of cadets who were borrowed by Commander Reyes from time to time to help to put a mission into action. You weren’t even supposed to meet Jesse or Reyes, but a series of events put you on a path that changed your life. 

A week prior to meeting both the Commander and Jesse you had been approached by one of the fellow doctors in the medical wing. Since you weren’t on any missions for the next couple of weeks they had been wondering if you could take one of their shifts. It was their wife’s birthday and Angela had been so busy with everything else she was in charge of that she had accidentally scheduled the doctor that night. Unfortunately everyone else was either working that night or was coming off a long shift. Never one to pass up an opportunity to put in some hours in the medical wing, you gladly accepted the shift. 

At the same time, Blackwatch’s commander was in a yelling match with Strike Commander Morrison over a medic that had been transferred to the team. The medic in question was still so new that they had no real knowledge on how to do anything. Morrison was stating that they had no other recruits that they could spare while Reyes was arguing that the cadet was going to put his team’s lives in danger. Finally, after an argument that was going in circles, Morrison conceded enough that if Reyes and the rest of the Blackwatch team weren’t comfortable going to their healer they could use Overwatch’s medical team as well. But only in cases of emergency. 

The day of your shift in the medical bay, the Blackwatch team was returning back from a particularly dangerous mission. You had been at the nurse’s station when Genji bust open the door asking for help getting Commander Reyes and Jesse. Angela had rushed to his side, going to get the commander before calling for you to help. You couldn’t help but notice that as she was rushing past, Angela’s hands lingered on Genji’s for just a moment, making you smile. As the two of you ran out followed by a few nurses with a gurney and a crash kit, you noticed that Commander Reyes was trying to fight off Commander Morrison. Reyes had his hand pressed up to the left side of his body, applying pressure to his ribs and yelling that Morrison needed to stop worrying about him and focus on Jesse. 

Jesse McCree looked like he was dead. The team had managed to get him onto a stretcher, but that seemed just about it. There were lacerations and gunshot wounds and blood everywhere. The dressings that had been crudely applied were completely soaked through and no one was applying pressure to the one in his upper chest that was gushing blood. McCree’s normally tan skin was pale, his eyes closed, his breathing shallow. Almost immediately upon seeing him, you threw yourself toward him, putting your hands on the wound.

“I need a new dressing!” you shouted at the nurses who were rushing over to try and help stabilize the gunslinger. You were handed a wad of gauze and quickly pressed it to the wound, putting as much pressure as you could. “Keep them coming. We need to set up a transfusion and a saline drip. Once we get this bleeding under control we can move him to medical,” you ordered the nurses who rushed off. “Why the hell did no one take care of him in the field!? Where’s your medic!?” you barked at Reyes over your shoulder. You were pissed beyond belief. You knew they had to have a medic. It was protocol when sending a team on a mission. It was to avoid situations like this. 

“Why don’t you ask Commander Morrison that?” you heard Reyes growl. Even without looking over your shoulder you knew that Reyes would be glaring at Jack, only inches from his face. You knew that this was a deeper issue that you would have to focus on later. Right now all you could focus on was getting Jesse stable enough to move back to the medical wing. 

It took some time, but once Jesse was stable enough, Angela took over and rushed Jesse to surgery. As you stood, covered in his blood you turned to Reyes and Morrison. “Both of you with me, now,” you demanded, pointing towards the medical bay. Despite both of them being upset with each other, Morrison supported Reyes to a private room where you forced him to sit down on the exam table. “Now, tell my why the fuck one of your teammates is almost dead because of you guys?” you asked through gritted teeth as you placed a few healing bots on Reyes’ wrists. 

“She froze,” Reyes said simply. “We needed a combat medic and she fucking froze seeing Jesse get shot,” Reyes replied. He winced slightly as you started to feel along his side, trying to see if there were any broken bones. When the bots on his wrists were done with the superficial cuts you forced him to lay down, wanting to get an x-ray of his side. 

“Look, I know that you can’t really talk about the mission because I’m not a Blackwatch member, but that combat medic… was her life in danger? Was it someone she knew? There’s absolutely no reason as to why she should have froze. McCree could very much die because of this,” you said simply, turning to look at Morrison while the x-ray ran. 

Morrison sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. “Their medic is too new to be out on the field. Reyes had brought this to my attention, but I didn’t know that it was this bad,” he said softly. 

“Then you better figure it out,” you said simply before turning back to Reyes to finish helping him. 

That night Jesse was in surgery for well over six hours. After you were sure that Reyes was patched up as well as he would let you, you joined Angela in surgery, helping to try and get Jesse as stable as possible. When the two of you were done, she talked about staying the night in the ICU with Jesse in case anything happened. You were about to agree to it when she made a throw-away comment about wondering about how well Genji was doing. You knew that Angela had a soft spot for the man, and you thought it was sweet that she was worried about him, so you offered to stay the night so that Angela could get some sleep. 

“Oh, I couldn’t let you do that. It’s my job as the head of the medical wing!” she insisted. You waved her off and was basically pushing her out the door toward Genji’s room. Finally, as you were about to slam the door on her and lock it to keep her out, Angela turned to look at you and smiled softly. “Thank you, dear. I appreciate you doing this for me.”

“Of course Angela. You enjoy your night,” you said with a smile before pushing her out the door. You wandered back toward the nurse’s station, grabbing the holopad that contained Jesse’s information. With the exception of tonight, he was typically not seen too often in the medical wing. However, when you were in surgery you couldn’t help but notice that he had a lot of scars that were from crude stitches and bad healing, and you couldn’t help but wonder where they came from. Obviously if those scars came from someone in the medical wing it was an issue. After all, if this was a fellow doctor here at Overwatch, you needed to launch an investigation into the situation. 

You took the holopad and made your way to Jesse’s room, going to check on him. You figured he would be waking up from the anesthesia soon and would be confused about what was going on. Sure, you weren’t a familiar face, but at least you would be a face that he saw coming out of the anesthesia. When you entered the room it was quiet, kind of peaceful. You looked at Jesse, your breath catching a little. When he wasn’t covered in blood he looked absolutely stunning. You quickly looked away, looking down at his chart and going to sit in the chair next to his bed. Over the past years there had been several patients to come through the medical wing but you had never found any of them as attractive as McCree.

As you settled into the chair, you pulled your legs up under you, scrolling through the holopad as you tried to finish some paperwork. It wasn’t long before you heard some coughing and movement in the bed. You looked up as McCree started to come to. Quickly you stood up and went over to the edge of his bed. “Hey… Jesse?” you said softly, trying not to scare the man. 

At the sound of his name, Jesse opened his eyes and looked up at you with hazel eyes. He coughed for a second before a lazy smile crossed his lips. “I must’a died. There’s an angel in my room,” he joked, his voice low and gravelly before he coughed and closed his eyes again. You watched him wince in pain for a second before reaching over to adjust one of the machines. 

“Sorry to disappoint, Jesse, but you’re neither dead nor am I an angel,” you said with a smile. 

Jesse’s eyes opened slowly, that same lazy smile coming across his lips as he looked up at you. “Well, you could of fooled me, darlin’,” he said before he closed his eyes again and went back to sleep. 

You smiled and went back to your chair, hoping to catch up on the rest of your paperwork by the time that your shift was over. The night was pretty uneventful. None of the other patients in the wing were as critical as Jesse was, so you got to spend most of the night in his room. There were a few times that he woke up only to ask for water or to make sure that you were still there with him. Other than that, Jesse slept and tried to recover. When the next shift came in that night, they found you still curled up in the chair next to his bed with your holopad clutched to your chest as you slept. 

Jesse was in the medical wing for just under a week. And you kept finding excuses as to why you needed to visit him. You mostly told people it was because you wanted to check on how Jesse was healing. After all, you were the one who did most of the work on him when he was first taken off the drop ship. Truthfully it was because you enjoyed being around Jesse. He was funny and he was always fun to talk to. When he was doing well enough to sit up by himself he even taught you how to play a few card games. You would spend any time that you weren’t working sitting in that chair next to his bed in order to spend time with him. 

“And then when Ashe told me to the left, I ended up ducking to my right and ended up topplin’ over all the boxes of moonshine we had been smugglin’. I never heard the end of it from her,” Jesse said, laughing as he reached over, pressing a hand to where his stitches were. You were so worried that one of these times when he was laughing loudly that he would tear his stitches open, but at least you were there in case. 

“Is that really how you got all these horribly done scars?” you asked, running your fingers along his arm to all the poorly healed stitches that you noticed the first time you saw him. 

“Bein’ in a gang wasn’t easy, darlin’,” he said simply, his stupid lopsided smiled appearing on his face. Every time that he would smile like that you couldn’t help but swoon a little bit. 

“Yeah, well with how I found you the other day, being in Blackwatch isn’t easier either. What the hell happened that you got shot so badly?” you asked, sitting back and watching McCree for a second. 

He shrugged a bit, looking down at the cards in his lap. “Our cover was compromised. There was shooting from all directions. And our medic… She ain’t as good at her job as you, darlin’. When the shoot started, she froze. She didn’t know what to do. And all I saw was an omnic comin’ at the poor girl, and I had to act,” he said simply.

You stared at Jesse for a second, taking in his story. “You jumped in front of an omnic in order to save her?” you asked slowly. Jesse shrugged again and looked away from you, obviously trying not to catch your gaze. “Jesse, have you been sleeping with the combat medic?” you teased, trying to break the tension in the room.

That was obviously not the question that he was expecting because Jesse blushed and turned to look at you, pink across his tan cheeks. “It ain’ nothin’ like that! You learn quickly to keep your people safe in a gang, and she’s my people. I would do the same thing for Genji or Reyes or you darlin’,” he said defensively, laughing a little bit. 

Smiling, you laughed with him. You were trying to hide your own blush at his comment about doing the same thing for you. “Well, you don’t have to worry about taking a bullet for me. I’m strictly Overwatch’s medic right now and you are free to go later this afternoon,” you said happily. You had been sitting on the news all morning, not wanting Jesse to get too excited about going home and have him end up hurting himself by pushing himself past what his body could handle. 

“Well, damn. Does this mean I won’t be seein’ your pretty face any more?” Jesse asked, causing you to blush this time. “Because I really enjoy bein’ around you darlin’.”

You laughed a little, smiling. “You’re not just saying that because I saved your life, right?” you teased. 

“Naw darlin’, that’s just an added bonus,” he said with a wink. 

Three months later, you were sitting on a drop ship with the rest of the Blackwatch crew returning from a mission. The last couple of weeks you had been working with Blackwatch instead of Overwatch solely because Blackwatch didn’t have a capable combat medic. The medic that had been working with the team before wasn’t learning fast enough to keep the guys protected in the field, and more often than not you would have to patch one of them up when they returned to base anyways. So, you decided to put in a transfer request so that the current medic could have a little bit of practice with Angela and the rest of the Overwatch team before trying to get back out into the field. You had gone directly to Commander Morrison with the request and he immediately agreed that it would be in Blackwatch’s best interest to have you on their team. You knew that this was a good decision for both the team and yourself, but you couldn’t help but feel a little selfish at why you wanted to transfer as well. You wanted to spend more time with the Blackwatch team. Over the last couple of months the two of them had become good friends of yours. Even Genji was starting to open up a little more about things with you. It was nice to have good friends who worked with you… and possibly would be down to murder someone if you asked nicely. 

It was probably your third or fourth mission with the group when you had to shoot a gun for the first time. All four members of the team were out on a mission together. It was supposed to be simple: Go to New Mexico, find out who was supplying guns and other weapons to a notorious gang, return to base with the information. However, Jesse, who was taking point on the mission for having some familiarity with the area, made a bad call and it put all four of you in danger. He decided to move the group further into the Deadlock Gang’s base, figuring that they would be able to receive better information. However, you pointed out that you weren’t exactly good at stealth missions. Hearing this Gabriel left the decision on what to do to Jesse. Either they were going to have you stay behind or they were going to take their chances and have you come into the base with them. 

In the end Jesse wanted a compromise between the two options: You were going to follow the rest of the team, further back but still with them. Jesse didn’t feel comfortable leaving you at the drop ship with only the coms just in case something happened, and they didn’t want you with the rest of the team if they were going to stealth ahead. When Jesse made the decision Reyes just huffed and turned away, but didn’t say anything about it. You thought that it wasn’t the smartest decision and was about to offer to stay behind when Jesse told the group to move out. 

Jesse knew the area like it was the back of his hand. You would later find out that it was because the gang that you were spying on was the same gang that Reyes had plucked a younger McCree out of a few years prior. But, as Jesse led you through the canyons and back trails that got you to the hideout, you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that followed you. Jesse insisted that there were no security cameras in the area considering that the gang was too poor to afford things like that. But if they couldn’t afford security cameras, how the hell were they getting the supplies?

As the rest of the team went ahead, you waited back at an old bar, perched on top of the roof, ready to head in if you got a call from the team. However, about ten minutes into the mission, and hearing Jesse and Reyes argue over the com, you felt cold metal pressed to the back of your head. 

“Now, we can do this the easy way…” a female voice drawled, pressing the gun harder into your skull. 

It felt like your entire world came to a screeching halt. All you could think of was the gun pressed to the back of your skull. You were urged to get up off the ground, which you happily obliged to. The woman who had the gun to your head was stunning with white hair and an angular face that seemed to be in a permanent scowl. She had two gang members flanking either side of her, both with guns in their hands. Before you knew it, the woman in front of you threw a punch at you, hitting you square in the jaw. You reached up, grabbing where her fist made impact, a sudden wave of anger and panic surging through you. 

You weren’t sure why you did it, but you lunged at one of the smaller men flanking the woman. Looking back at it you guessed it was because the only other option was to stand there and get shot. You were able to knock the small and scrawny guy over, hitting him across the jaw three times. At the same time the girl tried to kick you in the ribs to get you off the guy. You winced at the impact of her boot to your bones, but kept hitting the guy over and over again. The time it took for you to reach up and grab your ribs was enough for the scrawny guy to flip you over and start hitting you wherever he could. 

��                With you on your back, trying to catch your breath from being repeatedly hit you noticed the gun the was thrown to the side, obviously forgotten about in the scuffle between the two of you. You reached out, struggling to try and grab the gun, hopefully to scare the guy off. As soon as your fingers wrapped around the stock of the gun, you raised it up, trying to pistol whip him more than shoot him. Apparently this was enough time for him to punch you again, this time in your throat. You gasped loudly, every inch of your body hurting. All you could focus on was coughing and getting the guy off your chest and throat.

              Without much thought, one hand went to your throat, the other bringing the gun up. There was a shot followed by red everywhere. You were pretty sure that you screamed as you scrambled to your feet to try and get away from the body, the gun falling from your hand. You were getting ready to run when you saw the girl raise her hands above her head, her rifle still in her hand. The other guy dropped his gun, raising his hands as well. 

              "Now Ashe…. You already lost one of your men. I suggest just comin' with us and leaving with your boy and your life,” you heard a familiar drawl from behind you. In your panic you whirled around, your fists up and ready to start swinging. “Now, I suggest you follow your boy’s lead and drop Viper. We’ll get your other boy the help he needs long as you cooperate with us,” Jesse said simply, taking a few steps forward, his Peacekeeper pulled out in front of him. 

Genji and Reyes were both a few steps behind, their weapons drawn. You looked at them for a second, trying to take a few steps forward, but it felt difficult to move. Suddenly both Genji and Reyes were rushing past McCree, going to take both the girl - who you would learn was the Ashe that Jesse had talked about in the hospital months ago - and the guy into custody. By the time you blinked again, McCree was standing in front of you, his hands on your arms. You could see that his mouth was moving and he was talking to you, but the ringing in your ears was too much. You couldn’t make out what he was saying. Almost instinctively you reached out, bracing your hands on McCree’s forearms as your knees gave way from beneath you. “Woah there,” you heard McCree as he helped lower you to the ground. 

McCree let you sit there for a few seconds as Genji and Reyes led the two captives to an undisclosed location. After what felt like hours, you finally looked up at McCree. He was staring at you, still wide-eyed and gripping onto your arms. You looked up at Jesse for a second before looking down at yourself, covered in the blood of someone you had shot before turning to the side and throwing up right there on the roof. “Woah, okay,” McCree said, pulling back and just letting you get it out of your system. Once you had recovered enough to stand, he gently took you by the arm. “Come on darlin’, let’s get you back to the ship,” he said softly, leading you down off the roof and back to the dropship.

Reyes and Genji were nowhere to be found when you got back to the ship. You figured they would be keeping the two prisoners somewhere else for now. The whole time you two were walking back to the ship McCree kept his hand on your arm, helping guide you back. The whole time you were quiet, trying to piece things together. You had never fired a gun before, let alone shot someone like that. Normally when it came to Overwatch missions there were five or six people in the strike team, meaning that you always had someone with you. Even when things became dicey or there was an attack on the team, you were never the sole target of an attack like that. There was always someone there to protect you. Which, in a way Jesse was, just a little later than you would have liked. As soon as you sat down in an actual chair Jesse was about to pull his hands away from you when you reached out and grabbed them. “Thank you,” you said softly before letting go of his hands. 

Jesse smiled softly before nodding slightly. “Of course darlin’. I couldn’t leave you behind,” he said quietly. He stood up, looking you over for a second before turning away. "I'm gonna get you something so you can clean up. You got extra clothes?" he asked, looking away. You figured that this wasn't easy for him either. Not only was it his decision to leave you on the roof by yourself, but those were some of Jesse's men at one point. The gang that you had been hunting down was the gang he used to run with. It must not have been easy to see one of his guys get shot like that. 

              "No," you said in response to his question, shaking your head. You watched as Jesse started to walk off, most likely to try and find a rag or something, but you reached out, grabbing his hand. "Jess… did I kill him?" you asked softly. You needed to know. 

              "Nah darlin' but you fucked up his shoulder somethin' bad," Jesse said, his trademark lopsided grin appearing on his lips. It was such a comfort to see him smiling and cracking jokes after something like that happened. You sat there and watched as he went and found a rag and got a bucket of water, coming to set it down on the table next to you. "Look darlin' I know you're used to being the one to fix people up, but I think this time you should let me take care of you," Jesse said softly, dipping the rag into the water. 

You were still so stunned from the events that just happened that you just sat there, watching him. You knew enough that you knew nothing was broken, but you were definitely still shaken up by the events that had transpired. Your throat hurt from the punches that you had taken, and your ribs were sure to be bruised in the morning, but you were still breathing. And you felt better knowing that the guy you shot wasn’t dead, but just had a bad shoulder from now on. Still, even though you knew you were okay you winced when you felt the rag on your skin, wiping the blood away.

How long it took for Jesse to wipe off your skin, revealing small cuts and bruises, felt like a lifetime. Luckily the two of you were comfortable with the silence that fell over the two of you. Neither one of you had much to say about the situation. You kept replaying it over and over again in your head, trying to figure out if there was something that you could have done differently, or even if there was a warning about the group approaching that you hadn’t paid attention to. The only time you got out of your own head was when Jesse finally pulled away and went to dump the now orange water out. As he got up and started to walk away, Jesse paused and looked at you. "You never shot anyone before have you, darlin'?" he asked, turning to look at you again. You couldn’t tell if the look he was giving you was pride or pity, but either way, the look tugged at your heartstrings. 

“I had never shot a gun before,” you said, chuckling slightly at how absurd this situation was. 

McCree chuckled slightly, that same stupid grin showing up on his face. “Well then darlin’, you’re a lot more dangerous than you look,” he said with a smile. You smiled weakly back at him, enjoying the little moment in all the chaos.

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

Our Gifts in all Their (Tacky) Splendor

The holidays are already over, but Yuan still has half a mind to finish up his present for the Yggdrasills. Whether they would be good presents were another matter entirely.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Yuan Ka Fai/Martel Yggdrasill, Mithos Yggdrasill Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: @talessecretsanta2019 gift for @prettysailormimi ! I'm sorry for the lateness, but here's a short holiday story! I really wanted to include 'ugly sweater contest' into the story in some way, and for some reason, my brain could only do it within a modern AU. I hope okay, but I'd be happy to rewrite something else if it's not to your liking! But I sincerely hope you enjoy, and Happy Holidays!

--

Mithos peered over Yuan’s shoulder with a curious stare. “What are you doing?”

“Gah!” Yuan jumped, which was more than embarrassing for him. "Oh, Mithos. You just…startled me."

"I seem to do that quite a bit to you, don't I?" The young boy smirked, blue eyes glinting at what Yuan held in his hands. "Are those knitting needles?"

Yuan looked to his lap, as if he had never seen the objects before in all his life. "Suppose they are…"

Despite knowing Mithos for a few months now, Yuan still had trouble gauging the boy's behavior at times...but if Martel had trusted him enough to watch over her brother as she went out on errands, perhaps he was overreacting over nothing. The two siblings had a small place on the outskirts of the city, one that Yuan needed to take two-hour long train ride to. But even with the tiring commute, just arriving at their home was enough to revitalize him. He had truly begun looking forward to visiting each week.

Yet he had wondered for a while if Mithos actually liked him. The boy kept staring at Yuan, expecting more explanations out of him, more answers. Few adults would stare him down such as this.

So Yuan held up the knitting needles, where streams of green yarn streamed from their tips. "I'm making a sweater. For the holidays."

Mithos tilted his head. "That was last week, Yuan."

"W-well, a belated holiday accessory then!" Yuan sputtered. "Knitting helps pass the time, you see.”  

“Hm, well, I guess belated is better than nothing.” At this, Mithos grinned. “Sis is still waiting for you to give her that present!”

Yuan once again lost his sense of composure, nearly dropping the needles onto the carpet and only having enough sense to catch them at the very last second (and nearly pricking his fingers as he fumbled for them).

Mithos, seeing the reaction, could only laugh. “What? You didn’t think I’d notice? You’re using  green  yarn! Like I wouldn’t know her favorite color?”

“I can also like green myself, you know!”

“Sure.” Mithos then walked off, apparently bored. “Anyway, she called earlier and said she’ll be home about an hour earlier than she thought. So you might want to hurry up on that.”

Faster than the human eye could follow, Yuan gathered his needles, his yarn, and his sense of urgency as he frantically tried to will his hands to go at mach speed. He would have to just make sure he got every stitch right the first time!

Why did he always have to be so late with presents?

--

When Martel came home, she expected Yuan to greet her at the door like he usually did, always so happy to take her bags full of food, clothes, hardware tools, (the house roof had been leaky lately and it needed fixing!), first-aid kits (for when Yuan would try to help her with said roof work), and even a few extra treats she’d get from a local shop to give to her little brother.

But instead, she went inside to see an empty living room. There were still remnants of a few holiday decorations - such as small pine tree, decorated in a multitude of angel figurines that Mithos had been mostly in charge of while Martel had placed the star topper. Wrapping paper still littered the ground, for when she and Mithos had exchanged presents with one another. Nothing too expensive or fancy, but the holidays had always been a special time for them both to spend the days with each other when there was no work or school. She had wanted Yuan to be a part of it too, considering how much he had visited them lately…

Taking a closer look, she saw the living room wasn’t exactly empty - for Mithos was there, laid out on the couch that was also half-covered in old wrapping paper, so engrossed with a video game that he pressed the screen a bit close to his face. “Mithos? Is Yuan still here?” Maybe she had taken too long and he had gone back home? 

“Ah, he’s around,” he said absently. Then he swiveled his gaze to his sister with a smile. “My guess is that he’s hiding.”

“Hiding? Oh! Are you two playing a game? It’s so nice to see you both get along.” Martel was beaming as she carried her bags with ease as she began to set them down at a nearby table. (She had never needed help with carrying her things as Yuan would assume, but it always seemed to cheer him up when she would let him). “Are you having trouble looking for him?”

“No, he’s upstairs hiding in a corner of the hallway.” Mithos laughed then. “That’s why the lights up there are off!”

“Mithos! How could you- agh!” The voice that floated from upstairs hiccuped in mid-sentence.

“Ohh, I was wondering about that,” Martel mused with a giggle. She clasped her hands, looking expectantly up the stairs where darkness spilled over the steps. It would almost be rather ominous if she hadn’t heard Yuan’s voice just a moment ago. “Have you gotten lost up there, Yuan?”

Mithos was still laughing, his voice as light as his sister’s own laughter. “He probably hasn’t even finished it yet.”

“Mithos, please!”

“Finished what? I want to see!” Martel was now looking up the stairs expectantly. “Please, Yuan?”

Even so, Yuan couldn’t hide forever. After a brief silence, there followed the slow plodding of steps as he finally descended. “I haven’t even finished casting the sleeves yet…”

With a sigh, facing Martel, Yuan held up his late present in defeat. Martel gasped, while Mithos put on a scrutinizing gaze to the proffered item.

“I sincerely hope you do actually like the color green,” Yuan muttered.

“You still have your knitting needles there, you know,” said Mithos, being as helpful as ever.

“I-I wasn’t done! And now these darn things are stuck…”

Martel paid no attention to the argument, reaching out to take her present - a lovingly woven sweater, as green as the tree in her living room, as green as her hair, her eyes, and even her dress - and honestly, holding the sweater only emphasized all that green so much. Yet it looked like Yuan had even designed something on the front. As she looked over it, Yuan held up his hands. 

“It’s… it’s a bit of work in progress! I know it seems a little-”

"‘Feeling just  pine’," Martel read aloud, seeing the words stitched into the front, alongside a depiction of said pine tree. She laughed, the sound as soft as jingling bells. "Yuan! You are so clever!"

Yuan couldn't get any redder if he tried. Mithos was grinning. Somehow, in some way, he felt he was the butt of a joke that he had foolishly started. 

“And I love trees! How did you even know?”

“Probably due to all of the trees you’ve planted in our backyard…” Mithos answered, but he knew it would go unheard. His sister was falling head over heels for Yuan again. A brief roll of his eyes, but he was smiling.

“This is so lovely! I’m going to wear it right now.”

“Martel! The knitting needles are still there…”

And even though it was quite clear that the sweater was very much not finished - the sleeves were mostly unravelled and the hem of the sweater looked quite a bit frayed, stitches not exactly tightened as best as they could be - Martel could barely wait to put it on. The knitting needles were carefully placed to the side while she showed off her new present to her brother. “Mithos! Did you see? Ask me how I’m feeling? Come on!”

Mithos sighed. “How are you feeling, sis?”

“I’m feeling  pine! ” Martel placed a hand against her mouth, laughing at the word play. Yuan looked like he was about to faint with all that blood rushing to his head.

“Maybe I should have picked a different pun…”

“Don’t see why. Looks like you’ve gotten my sister the perfect present,” Mithos conceded. Maybe he had slightly doubted Yuan would have gotten something done in time, but he should have also known that Martel wouldn’t have cared. Yuan could have gotten her a sweater from Martel’s own closet and she’d still be so thrilled. 

“Ah, that reminds me,” Martel said and strolled towards one of the bags she had brought back home, already rummaging through its contents. “I got something for you too, Yuan!”

“What?” Yuan said dumbly before smiling even  more  dumbly… somehow. At least that was how Mithos viewed it.

“Yes! And it makes me happy that you would have a similar idea… but I don’t have any knitting skills.” With that she handed him off something soft-looking, a deep azure color, and with… little lights attached to it. “I’m late with your present, but I finally had time to shop for one. I hope you like it!”

“You  also  got him a sweater?” Mithos said, barely able to contain his laughter.

Yuan was staring before then taking the gift in shaking hands. “Are those...string lights?”

“Yes! And they form a picture of a snowman! Isn’t it adorable?” Martel was stunning in her radiance, while Yuan was just stunned.

“Looks like a fire hazard,” Mithos said in a low voice while standing next to Yuan, low enough that he was sure his sister couldn’t hear him. Louder, he crossed his arms and goaded on the man. “Well, put it on!”

“I think this might be too big…”

And, well, it was. The sweater practically draped across his shoulders as he put it over his head, and the hem nearly dropped to his knees. But one good thing! The lights sewn into the sweater worked perfectly, and they blinked out a festive design of a snowman, happily smiling to match with Yuan’s own nervous smile. But even then, Martel didn’t seem to notice. She took Yuan’s hands, entwining them within her fingers. “We match very well, Yuan! This has been the best holiday for me in so long.”

Yuan, in his own embarrassing attire, could only sigh. He didn’t let go of her hands. “Martel...I just wanted to tell you that-”

“Hey, I just realized,” Mithos knowingly interrupted. “You never got me a present, Yuan.” At this, Mithos pouted. “I guess I’m just not as important.”

Mithos expected another sputter, another deflection of words - but this time, Yuan only smirked. “You shouldn’t underestimate me so easily, Mithos.”

“...What?”

Even Martel was surprised, blinking at Yuan. “Oh? Did you get him a present as well?”

Yuan unlinked their hands so he could head back upstairs. “Be right back!”

“Wait, hold on.” Mithos narrowed his eyes, not trusting Yuan’s sudden mood shift in the slightest. “Why would you be done with my present before Martel’s anyway?”

“Because you’re smaller!” he called back from above. 

Mithos did not like that answer, but Martel nodded in understanding. “Makes sense!”

“No, it doesn’t…”

But when Yuan came back from the top of the stairs, he already had in his hands another sweater, this one looking much more complete than Martel’s. “Go ahead. I figured you would like this.”

“...I don’t-”

“Oh, it looks adorable! Go on, Mithos…”

Now Mithos was having an idea of what it was like to be in Yuan’s place just moments before.

There were no electric lights on this one that continually blinked like Yuan’s did, nor were there dreaded holiday puns - but it did have something on its front. A design on it, one that on first glance, didn’t really look too bad until -

“Is this me in an angel costume?” Mithos asked blankly.

Martel was smiling so wide. “Oh, that suits you perfectly, Mithos!”

“What? That’s not true!”

“I just observed and made some artistic liberties,” Yuan explained, sounding really smug for someone in a lit-up piece of wool. 

Mithos then realized that this sweater was only partly for him anyway - it was still mostly for his sister, who looked like she was in heaven right now.

“Aren’t you going to wear it, Mithos?” she asked curiously. “We should all take a picture for the holidays!”

“But the holidays were a week ago!” Mithis once again argued, but then turned to the side. Still, he had rarely seen Martel this happy before. She was typically content, or calm, but Yuan’s stupid presents were having quite an effect on her…

Swallowing his own pride, he slipped on the sweater, sporting an angelic version of himself in the front. “There,” he said, hoping that would be it. “Why are you smirking now?” he then asked Yuan.

“I wasn’t doing anything of the sort,” Yuan said, all while he was definitely smirking. 

“Come on, you two! I already have the camera ready. We can mail this out to everyone!”

“Wh-” Yuan turned to Martel in lightning-fast speed. Clear enough, she had her phone camera, ready to publicly broadcast the three of them to the world. “Are you sure about that?”

But Martel would not answer, already selecting the right portrait size and filters. Still, at least Mithos would give one final protest. “Everyone’s gonna think we’re having some kind of ugly sweater contest or something…”

“Oh, that’s perfect! We can send a picture of us and ask people who to vote for! I really hope mine will win!” Martel was quickly gathering the two near her as she held up her phone overhead.

“Ha! She called your sweater ugly, Yuan.”

“No! That’s not-!”

“Alright, everyone get close!”

“Martel, I don’t think you can even see our sweaters from this angle…”

“Good idea. I’m gonna hide a bit more in the back then-”

“Mithos! Since you’re shorter, I think it would be prudent for you to be in the front.”

“That’s a great idea, Yuan! Mithos, come stand by me.”

“Thanks a lot…”

But even with some grumbling, some flushed and embarrassed faces, and maybe a few hairs getting caught onto the lights from Yuan’s sweater, Mithos couldn’t help but find himself smiling as the camera’s light went bright, definitely blinding a few eyes here and there.

The holidays were last week, and he and Martel had already given their presents to each other, but somehow, with Yuan’s help, things felt extra special now. Maybe keeping this ugly sweater wouldn’t be so bad. He’d only wear it during the holidays after all.

[kurtwarren54]

My Birth Story with Duke

My birth story with Duke started differently than Otis. With Otis I went into labor on my own and with Duke I was induced 1 week before my due date. Both were equally incredible experiences. I feel these moments are forever embedded into my memory. What a time to be pregnant during a global pandemic because of Covid-19 and also deliver a baby during this time. I will say my experience at the hospital was incredible and we felt 100% cared for and safe. Keep reading below for the story of Duke’s birthday.

Leading up to birth

Let’s rewind back to my 37 week appointment. At this appointment, I had my first cervix check and was at 2cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -2 station. My doctor also discussed with me that she wanted to induce me 1 week early at 39 weeks based on my 2 risk factors being age and IVF. Since I was already dilated and progressing on my own, we both agreed that induction would be a great option since my body was already naturally preparing for birth as well. WILD!! I didn’t think we would be scheduling an induction but I felt comfortable knowing my body was already on its way. At my 38 week appointment, I was at 3cm dilated, 70% effaced and -2 station but with a very engaged head. My dr gently stretched my cervix (not a full membrane sweep) to help get things rolling. I was starting to get excited and nervous at the same time wondering if the baby was going to show up before my induction or not! Otis was 4 days early but I was much more dilated this time earlier so it was all up in the air. I think because the idea of induction being different from going into labor naturally was a new idea for me, I was a bit more nervous leading up to it. But, it was also a very great thing to have the luxury of planning with Otis and to prep him for birth and us being away. The night I came home from my 38 week appointment and cervix stretch, I lost my mucus plug. So the wait was on and luckily I made it to my induction date! 

July 7, 2021 / 12:30 AM – Induction 

Our induction was scheduled for 12:30 AM on 7/7/21 so basically the middle of the night. I had to call 2 hours ahead of time to make sure they had beds available and confirm we could come in. So we called at 10:30 and crossed our fingers and were happy to find out, IT WAS GAME TIME. Our friend came over to swap in for Otis duty and we grabbed our hospital bags and we were OFF! Since we were vaccinated, we did not need to do a covid test for the hospital so that was very nice. If so, we would have done one in advance of our induction.

Since last time I was in active labor, going to the hospital not in active labor was different. I was also strep b positive, I needed to get my IV right away to start my antibiotics to protect baby before birth. So by 1:17am, my IV was done and they had drawn my blood for our cord blood kit (we did CBR again to collect cord blood and tissue and we did the same with Otis.) We then waited to finish some antibiotics before starting anything else. At this point, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. A nice thing was because we were both vaccinated, we didn’t have to wear a mask in our delivery or postpartum rooms. Only when we were in the hospital hallways. Since the rules were constantly changing I didn’t know what to expect but that was a nice surprise.

July 7, 2021 / 2:37 AM – PItocin

We started my pitocin at 2:37 am. This was the medication that would jump start my contractions to continue my dilation and get labor started etc. I wasn’t feeling much for a while. Just waiting… to see when things would pick up. At 3:27 am they increased my pitocin. I started to feel contractions but nothing major and mostly just discomfort. At 6:06 am, we increased my pitocin again. I was contracting every 3-4 minutes and feeling them more and was not able to rest at all at this point from the discomfort. I was still around the same dilation etc and the nurses informed me that anesthesia was going into a planned c-section so the plan would be to call them in when they were finished. I was ready. My blood pressure was a little bit on the low side so the plan was to get some more fluids before anesthesia came to do my epidural. So at 8:07 am I got my last big dose of fluids before getting my epidural.

July 7, 2021 / 8:34 AM – Epidural 

I had ZERO birth plan except for deliver a healthy baby and have a healthy mama… and get the epidural if I could! So now that I was in alot of pain and discomfort, it was time to call in Anesthesia. I WAS READY. This time around, everything was going ok but while we were doing my actual epidural and he was placing everything properly, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Since my blood pressure was so low, I was in bad shape. I thought I was going to pass out on the floor. This was the opposite of my first epidural experience with Otis but let me tell you, it was NOT fun. Finally everything was placed and in and I was just glad it was over. I had ice on my forehead and started to feel better. I was just happy to know my epidural was in and now it could GET BUSY.

July 7, 2021 / 9:20 AM – Break my water 

The laborist on call was able to come and break my water at this time. This is what would speed up and intensify my contractions to help dilate me quicker. Everything went fine and with my epidural, it was easy. No real pain just pressure and done.

July 7, 2021 / 10:05 AM – Cervix Check and Bloody Show 

Around this time, we did a cervix check and I was already at 5cm. So this was great news that I was progressing. I also had what they call my “bloody show” so the nurse said this was all good signs pointing toward labor. At this point, my contractions were starting to get way more intense and it was a little strange because I was feeling A LOT and still very uncomfortable. I told the nurses about it… didn’t think much of it. They pushed the button on my epidural to get some more medicine flowing. In hindsight, I should have called the anesthesiologist back. Basically my epidural was NOT working well… I mean maybe it was working a tiny bit.. But essentially I was still feeling everything. 

July 7, 2021 / 10:43 AM – OMG I am in so much pain 

Um wow. Things progressed VERY quickly. From 10:05 to 10:43 am I went to 8cm and 90% effaced and 0 station. I was feeling ALOT of pressure which is why the nurses checked me again. When I tell you I was in so much pain… I was gripping the bed basically laying sideways telling the nurse I didn’t think my epidural was working. The pain was INTENSE and I was moaning… it was.. Not how I envisioned feeling with my epidural. HA!

July 7, 2021 / 10:55 AM – GO TIME!!! 

I was feeling MISERABLE and in so much pain and had so much INTENSE pressure in my lady parts. I had to tell the nurse I literally felt like the baby was coming. They checked me again and she said, “YOU ARE READY!!!” Holy crap in 10 minutes I had gone to 10cm and was ready to push. At this point, I was having such intense pelvic pressure constantly. They called my dr to come immediately. She was at her office which was a 5 minute drive. The nurses were bustling around the room getting everything together. No one envisioned me getting to 10 cm this quickly so everyone was rushing to get things prepped and ready. We kept losing the baby’s heart rate on the monitor because he was just so low trying to get OUT. It was INSANE. I was basically holding my legs together afraid that the baby was literally going to come out. My epidural felt non existent and it was never able to catch up. I think at that moment, I realized that hey… this was happening whether or not my epidural was working. 

My dr arrived soon and I could barely focus at this point from the pain. Once she was ready and in position, I basically pushed for 3 contractions (each time pushing 3x) and baby was out in less than 5 minutes!! HOLY CRAP!!!!! Blake was trying to coach me to help me with my breathing and pushing because I just couldn’t focus so I feel I likely could have pushed him out faster if I was more focused but WOW. He came so fast and all of a sudden… he was here!!!!!!!!! 

July 7, 2021 / 11:20 AM – Happy Birthday Duke Ray Lapides 

Duke Ray Lapides was born at 11:20 am at 7lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. His cord was wrapped around his neck when he came out but my dr worked fast and all of sudden my baby was on my chest and I am telling you whether you have had a baby before, it’s one of the most life changing, mind blowing things to ever happen to me. Ever. The shock of baby finally being on the outside, here, breathing and moving on my chest… it’s just one of my life’s most powerful moments. I had a very small tear so after delivering the placenta, I got stitched up and then we were done.

Recovery

We got to snuggle our special guy for some uninterrupted time before the nurses came back to measure him, and do their tests etc. We got rolled to our recovery room and I was able to breastfeed right away which was incredible. The second time around I felt a sense of calm and confidence when it came to approaching breastfeeding and it went so smoothly and I am SO thankful that it did. I will say that the uterus cramping second time around was a lot more intense. Especially when breastfeeding the cramps were really bad. I made sure to constantly stay on top of my pain meds (rotating motrin and tylenol) and not miss any doses. Second time around though, we were ready to get home to Otis. We stayed in the hospital for a little over 24 hours to ensure Baby Duke was healthy and ready and I was medically cleared. 

After being home, I stayed consistent with my pain meds and for the first 2 weeks the pain and cramping was worse than I remembered with Otis. But it was all signs that my uterus was shrinking back down to its normal size. I actually stopped bleeding between 2 to 3 weeks postpartum which was amazing. All in all the worst part of the recovery tends to be a quick blur thankfully at least for me. I had to include this side by side picture of Otis and Duke in the hospital. Love seeing how similar their sweet faces were at that newborn moment!

So there you have it. Happy Birthday sweet little Duke. After the years of struggling with fertility, I have this overwhelming sense of peace leaving that chapter behind us and moving forward with our lives. This past week I was able to stop by my fertility clinic with notes and a small gift physically and figuratively say goodbye to this intense chapter in our lives. It has been filled with some of the darkest moments of my life, but also some of my brightest. I will forever be grateful to modern medicine for aiding us in our journey to become a family of 4. For anyone struggling with infertility, my heart aches with you. I know it’s a tough road no matter what your struggles are but I want you to know you are not alone. Linking my IVF related articles below. I shared a pretty in depth look at our process and I hope it might help to support you if you need it.

I wrote a few posts on infertility and IVF and you can find them below:

IVF 1 

IVF 2 

IVF 3

Prepping for FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Preparing for IVF egg retrieval 

How to support a friend going through IVF

IVF book resources

Covid-19 Cancelled My Embryo Transfer

Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer

FAILED FROZEN EMBRYO TRANSFER #3 – FAILED IVF

IVF FET ROUND 4 (THIRD TIMES THE CHARM) IM PREGNANT!

The post My Birth Story with Duke appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2021/09/14/my-birth-story-with-duke/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

My Birth Story with Duke

My birth story with Duke started differently than Otis. With Otis I went into labor on my own and with Duke I was induced 1 week before my due date. Both were equally incredible experiences. I feel these moments are forever embedded into my memory. What a time to be pregnant during a global pandemic because of Covid-19 and also deliver a baby during this time. I will say my experience at the hospital was incredible and we felt 100% cared for and safe. Keep reading below for the story of Duke’s birthday.

Leading up to birth

Let’s rewind back to my 37 week appointment. At this appointment, I had my first cervix check and was at 2cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -2 station. My doctor also discussed with me that she wanted to induce me 1 week early at 39 weeks based on my 2 risk factors being age and IVF. Since I was already dilated and progressing on my own, we both agreed that induction would be a great option since my body was already naturally preparing for birth as well. WILD!! I didn’t think we would be scheduling an induction but I felt comfortable knowing my body was already on its way. At my 38 week appointment, I was at 3cm dilated, 70% effaced and -2 station but with a very engaged head. My dr gently stretched my cervix (not a full membrane sweep) to help get things rolling. I was starting to get excited and nervous at the same time wondering if the baby was going to show up before my induction or not! Otis was 4 days early but I was much more dilated this time earlier so it was all up in the air. I think because the idea of induction being different from going into labor naturally was a new idea for me, I was a bit more nervous leading up to it. But, it was also a very great thing to have the luxury of planning with Otis and to prep him for birth and us being away. The night I came home from my 38 week appointment and cervix stretch, I lost my mucus plug. So the wait was on and luckily I made it to my induction date! 

July 7, 2021 / 12:30 AM – Induction 

Our induction was scheduled for 12:30 AM on 7/7/21 so basically the middle of the night. I had to call 2 hours ahead of time to make sure they had beds available and confirm we could come in. So we called at 10:30 and crossed our fingers and were happy to find out, IT WAS GAME TIME. Our friend came over to swap in for Otis duty and we grabbed our hospital bags and we were OFF! Since we were vaccinated, we did not need to do a covid test for the hospital so that was very nice. If so, we would have done one in advance of our induction.

Since last time I was in active labor, going to the hospital not in active labor was different. I was also strep b positive, I needed to get my IV right away to start my antibiotics to protect baby before birth. So by 1:17am, my IV was done and they had drawn my blood for our cord blood kit (we did CBR again to collect cord blood and tissue and we did the same with Otis.) We then waited to finish some antibiotics before starting anything else. At this point, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. A nice thing was because we were both vaccinated, we didn’t have to wear a mask in our delivery or postpartum rooms. Only when we were in the hospital hallways. Since the rules were constantly changing I didn’t know what to expect but that was a nice surprise.

July 7, 2021 / 2:37 AM – PItocin

We started my pitocin at 2:37 am. This was the medication that would jump start my contractions to continue my dilation and get labor started etc. I wasn’t feeling much for a while. Just waiting… to see when things would pick up. At 3:27 am they increased my pitocin. I started to feel contractions but nothing major and mostly just discomfort. At 6:06 am, we increased my pitocin again. I was contracting every 3-4 minutes and feeling them more and was not able to rest at all at this point from the discomfort. I was still around the same dilation etc and the nurses informed me that anesthesia was going into a planned c-section so the plan would be to call them in when they were finished. I was ready. My blood pressure was a little bit on the low side so the plan was to get some more fluids before anesthesia came to do my epidural. So at 8:07 am I got my last big dose of fluids before getting my epidural.

July 7, 2021 / 8:34 AM – Epidural 

I had ZERO birth plan except for deliver a healthy baby and have a healthy mama… and get the epidural if I could! So now that I was in alot of pain and discomfort, it was time to call in Anesthesia. I WAS READY. This time around, everything was going ok but while we were doing my actual epidural and he was placing everything properly, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Since my blood pressure was so low, I was in bad shape. I thought I was going to pass out on the floor. This was the opposite of my first epidural experience with Otis but let me tell you, it was NOT fun. Finally everything was placed and in and I was just glad it was over. I had ice on my forehead and started to feel better. I was just happy to know my epidural was in and now it could GET BUSY.

July 7, 2021 / 9:20 AM – Break my water 

The laborist on call was able to come and break my water at this time. This is what would speed up and intensify my contractions to help dilate me quicker. Everything went fine and with my epidural, it was easy. No real pain just pressure and done.

July 7, 2021 / 10:05 AM – Cervix Check and Bloody Show 

Around this time, we did a cervix check and I was already at 5cm. So this was great news that I was progressing. I also had what they call my “bloody show” so the nurse said this was all good signs pointing toward labor. At this point, my contractions were starting to get way more intense and it was a little strange because I was feeling A LOT and still very uncomfortable. I told the nurses about it… didn’t think much of it. They pushed the button on my epidural to get some more medicine flowing. In hindsight, I should have called the anesthesiologist back. Basically my epidural was NOT working well… I mean maybe it was working a tiny bit.. But essentially I was still feeling everything. 

July 7, 2021 / 10:43 AM – OMG I am in so much pain 

Um wow. Things progressed VERY quickly. From 10:05 to 10:43 am I went to 8cm and 90% effaced and 0 station. I was feeling ALOT of pressure which is why the nurses checked me again. When I tell you I was in so much pain… I was gripping the bed basically laying sideways telling the nurse I didn’t think my epidural was working. The pain was INTENSE and I was moaning… it was.. Not how I envisioned feeling with my epidural. HA!

July 7, 2021 / 10:55 AM – GO TIME!!! 

I was feeling MISERABLE and in so much pain and had so much INTENSE pressure in my lady parts. I had to tell the nurse I literally felt like the baby was coming. They checked me again and she said, “YOU ARE READY!!!” Holy crap in 10 minutes I had gone to 10cm and was ready to push. At this point, I was having such intense pelvic pressure constantly. They called my dr to come immediately. She was at her office which was a 5 minute drive. The nurses were bustling around the room getting everything together. No one envisioned me getting to 10 cm this quickly so everyone was rushing to get things prepped and ready. We kept losing the baby’s heart rate on the monitor because he was just so low trying to get OUT. It was INSANE. I was basically holding my legs together afraid that the baby was literally going to come out. My epidural felt non existent and it was never able to catch up. I think at that moment, I realized that hey… this was happening whether or not my epidural was working. 

My dr arrived soon and I could barely focus at this point from the pain. Once she was ready and in position, I basically pushed for 3 contractions (each time pushing 3x) and baby was out in less than 5 minutes!! HOLY CRAP!!!!! Blake was trying to coach me to help me with my breathing and pushing because I just couldn’t focus so I feel I likely could have pushed him out faster if I was more focused but WOW. He came so fast and all of a sudden… he was here!!!!!!!!! 

July 7, 2021 / 11:20 AM – Happy Birthday Duke Ray Lapides 

Duke Ray Lapides was born at 11:20 am at 7lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. His cord was wrapped around his neck when he came out but my dr worked fast and all of sudden my baby was on my chest and I am telling you whether you have had a baby before, it’s one of the most life changing, mind blowing things to ever happen to me. Ever. The shock of baby finally being on the outside, here, breathing and moving on my chest… it’s just one of my life’s most powerful moments. I had a very small tear so after delivering the placenta, I got stitched up and then we were done.

Recovery

We got to snuggle our special guy for some uninterrupted time before the nurses came back to measure him, and do their tests etc. We got rolled to our recovery room and I was able to breastfeed right away which was incredible. The second time around I felt a sense of calm and confidence when it came to approaching breastfeeding and it went so smoothly and I am SO thankful that it did. I will say that the uterus cramping second time around was a lot more intense. Especially when breastfeeding the cramps were really bad. I made sure to constantly stay on top of my pain meds (rotating motrin and tylenol) and not miss any doses. Second time around though, we were ready to get home to Otis. We stayed in the hospital for a little over 24 hours to ensure Baby Duke was healthy and ready and I was medically cleared. 

After being home, I stayed consistent with my pain meds and for the first 2 weeks the pain and cramping was worse than I remembered with Otis. But it was all signs that my uterus was shrinking back down to its normal size. I actually stopped bleeding between 2 to 3 weeks postpartum which was amazing. All in all the worst part of the recovery tends to be a quick blur thankfully at least for me. I had to include this side by side picture of Otis and Duke in the hospital. Love seeing how similar their sweet faces were at that newborn moment!

So there you have it. Happy Birthday sweet little Duke. After the years of struggling with fertility, I have this overwhelming sense of peace leaving that chapter behind us and moving forward with our lives. This past week I was able to stop by my fertility clinic with notes and a small gift physically and figuratively say goodbye to this intense chapter in our lives. It has been filled with some of the darkest moments of my life, but also some of my brightest. I will forever be grateful to modern medicine for aiding us in our journey to become a family of 4. For anyone struggling with infertility, my heart aches with you. I know it’s a tough road no matter what your struggles are but I want you to know you are not alone. Linking my IVF related articles below. I shared a pretty in depth look at our process and I hope it might help to support you if you need it.

I wrote a few posts on infertility and IVF and you can find them below:

IVF 1 

IVF 2 

IVF 3

Prepping for FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Preparing for IVF egg retrieval 

How to support a friend going through IVF

IVF book resources

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