#both as a joke but also im usually the youngest person in a room

[windypuddle]

WHO ARE THE GAY ENSTARS MEN ?! THE ONE WITH THE BLUE HAIR ?? THEIR ROMANCE WAS WORLD SHATTERING? ! I AM DESPERATE AND DEHYDRATED WHO ARE THEY

alright. i know you asked me this because im the Enstars Person you know so while i am not the expert on this i will try my best to answer! also drink water bestie

ok so im assuming you are talking about wataei because of the ship wars thing. and theyre the only ones i can think of that ive seen described like that recently.

alright so theres a common joke that eichi (blond one) started the war (massive social and school politics effort to reform the idol system in yumenosaki academy) because he had a crush on wataru (blue hair one). this is not true eichi started the war because he loves idols and wanted to make a fairer system for them.

this reform effort actually happened in two stages: the war was the first stage, where eichi made the five eccentrics the scapegoats for all the vices of the school, which worked because they were so good at being idols everyone saw them as otherworldly and not one of the rest of the human students. eichi, with his power as both student council president and Local Hella Rich Guy, orchestrated a battle of the bands system where he and his unit, fine (usually in this period referred to by fans as ex-fine) defeated each of the five eccentrics and brought supposedly equal chances for the students at the school. the main part of this rhetoric relied on framing the eccentrics as godlike beings, and fine as just regular humans, to show the student body that with hard work, even regular people can rise to great heights.

part of this whole situation was wataru. Wataru was one of the original members of the five eccentrics, and eichi greatly admired him and his skills. a secondary motivation, for eichi specifically, was to raise himself to the same level as wataru so they could communicate as equals. so like yeah he had a crush on the guy but that wasn't his main motivation.

wataru is a fascinating character. he has layers (like an onion) and he is always acting and rarely shows his "true self" and often talks about narratives and such in a very meta perspective (eichi talks this way a lot too, which is why theres so many monologues in enstars, but eichi views himself as just some guy while wataru views himself as the ultimate actor). wataru was also the last of the eccentrics to be defeated by fine. natsume, the youngest of the eccentrics, caught onto the fact that wataru was acting according to the "script" of the war (because he agreed with eichis ideas of reforming yumenosaki), so natsume wrote his own script where the eccentrics won. unfortunately, wataru discarded the idea, essentially For The Sake Of The Narrative. (natsume ended up burning the script, which is an interesting parallel to tsumugi burning the records of the deeds ex-fine did during the war, but thats another matter.) so wataru lost, as he was Supposed To, and eichi and ex-fine won the war for yumenosaki.

up until now eichi and wataru have been distant, only interacting occasionally (including one conversation where wataru has stuff to say about acting, or whatever. its all very meta of them). but after this, eichi is hospitalized, and rips out his IVs and such and refuses to let any of the nurses treat him. Wataru climbs in through the window of his hospital room to find him like this, and essentially asks him: What Now? they start talking about the results of the war, and the future, and they essentially write a script for how yumenosaki can change further for the better: this is Stage Two, trickstar's revolution. only when they plotted it they didnt know it would be trickstar, or the extent to which they would change things. because eichi, in the war, made himself and ex-fine powerful enough to defeat the eccentrics, which gave the students hope; but he did this through the power of being rich and also student council president, and other things like tsumugi's connections to basically everyone in the school. so he ended up having the school in basically a tyrannical rule, but that still wasn't the best environment to encourage idols to grow. so eichi and wataru wrote out a plan for an idol group to overthrow eichi himself, and bring about full change.

basically wataru and eichi combined have orchestrated the majority of the narrative of both the war era and the ! era stories. also they both know each other so intimately on a psychological level. youve probably heard people talk about wataei proposal and that is referring to the last story of the ! era game, where wataru and eichi met on the roof of yumenosaki one night and had a deep conversation-- i dont know all the details because i havent read it in full, but wataru offers eichi one of his theater masks and eichi recognizes the gesture as wataru offering him all of himself, to be wholly known and understood. eichi accepts the mask and yeah you get the point theyre so in love its ridiculous

[pjsk-writin]

(HEY!2x)

I love your youngest sibling request cause it’s so cute and wholesome. Can you do it again, but make it male twin prompt with Emu, Mafuyu, Mizuki, and An? p.s I’m the youngest, so I can relate but I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have another younger sibling.

HII!! and im glad to hear it!! but oo okok, and FAIR im personally the oldest so... but I hope you like this!! <3

♡ TWIN - Emu Otori, Mafuyu Asahina, Mizuki Akiyama and An Shiraishi x Reader

Emu:

I think there's nothing funnier than imagining Emu's twin being either the opposite or the same as her, so let me go over both-

If you're very similar to Emu, then congrats! The Otori twins are infamous for being loud-

Tsukasa and Nene will get headaches, they'll be absolutely reeling from the thought that there is not just Emu, but a twin that looks and acts exactly like her-

You two are just an absolute force of chaos, and you two always seem to understand things that nobody else does

Now, on the other hand, if you're opposites? It's also just as hilarious to witness-

Imagine a very bubbly and happy girl bouncing around with her very chill/calm twin just standing there

She will try to drag you into her silly plans, which usually turns into complete and utter chaos whether you're involved or not-

Mafuyu:

Mafuyu’s twin would probably have an...Interesting life, to say the least

She's a golden child through and through, so it's likely that all of the expectations that she has are put on your shoulders as well

The two of you compete in that field, but there's no malice behind it. You both are just trying to survive in that aspect

Whether or not your childhood impacts you the same way it does with Mafuyu, you still have the same childhood. She seeks refuge in you because of it

You're one of the few people who are allowed to see her with her guards down. She knows you've seen her true self, so she doesn't bother hiding from you

If you end up pursuing a certain passion, she'll watch you with interest. She does think that you deserve to have passions, she just wishes she had some of her own

You're also one of the few people who have seen her genuine smile. It's a nice privilege!

Mizuki:

Being Mizuki’s twin is...Also very interesting

You two grow up together just fine, if anything the two of you get along really well! They tease and joke with you all the time

But then middle school hits. And suddenly Mizuki is not the same

They're very reserved all of a sudden, refusing to tell you what's going on whenever they lock themselves in their room

It took a while for them to come to you, but you've never seen them be so relieved when you tell them that you support them no matter what <3

They start to become more and more confident in themself, and eventually, they evolve into the Mizuki you know and love today!

They definitely trust you a lot, and have made you model for them multiple times. They like to give you gifts in appreciation <3

An:

Being both An's twin and Ken's son, you are surrounded by musicians!

However, neither of them will force you into music, or even working at the WEEKEND GARAGE! An in particular is very adamant that you explore your own passions

She's a very friendly person, so if you're someone who doesn't like to socialize, chances are that she'll do all the talking for you-

She's always happy to have someone else around, and will constantly hang out with you whenever she can!

The two of you definitely learn each other’s favorite foods/drinks, and you have mini competitions to see who can make the nicest dish/drink for the other

An will go to you and ask for your help on a lot of things. She finds that you're a nice person to practice singing in front of!

She's just very sweet overall, she definitely invites you to all of VBS' performances!

[decodad]

assumption: you are baby

Anonymously tell me your assumpmtions about me and I'll confirm or deny them.

this is just fact

[the-kinnie-in-me]

hi!! this is like my second time sending a request- and i’m not very familiar with like how requests are supposed to be phrased? if that makes sense? 😭 sorry smdbkskhdf anyways i hope this request makes sense :)

could you write something (it could be headcannons, a oneshot, an imagine, or anything like that) about the reader being peter parker’s little sister + the youngest avenger who’s also spider-girl? i really hope that made sense ahjshkdsjhd- some things that i’d like to be included (but you don’t have to if you can’t find a way to include them) are:

- wanda and nat being like mother figures

- vision because he’s funny and i love him

- bucky and sam, because i see them as honorary avengers 😁😁

- TONY HAVING A SOFT SPOT FOR THE READER

- peter being the best big brother ever

- clint teaching the reader how to use a bow and arrow

IM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS 😭😭 I DIDNT REALIZE HOW LONG IT WAS GETTING, thank you! :)

A/n: This took up 3 pages in my google docs 😃 .DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH OR THE EXTRA THINGS- it help me have more ideas! I really hope you enjoy this-

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫:

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

If you both got your powers around the same time-

There would be some public attention that there are 2 people in masks swinging around NYC in the same area, at the same time

Which just makes the process of being recruited a lot quicker

The both of you would be clueless that it was the other person

Since you didn’t want him to worry

And he didn’t want you to worry

That basically went on until you were both recruited for the Avengers

“That was you?!” “That was you?!”

“Did you both seriously not know that?”

“Did you tell Aunt May??”

“Of course not! Did you?”

“No-”

But if you got your powers later than him and started fighting crime-

You’re both still gonna be clueless about the other person's secret identity

He’s gonna want to learn more about your alter ego and investigate them

You both crossed paths from time to time

It basically became a race on who can go to the scene 1st

He was kinda surprised since even if his suit is more advanced, there were times where you beat him to it

But he did start to question it when you came home later than usual and the topic of Spidergirl was a bit touchy

You noticed the same with him but with Spiderman and with more suspicious stuff

He didn’t let you in his room

He became more secretive with you even if you both used to tell the other person everything

The fact that this all started when he got the Stark Internship

You found out when you saw Spiderman enter your brother's room in your apartment on your way home from fighting crime

You decided to confront him and that's how you both found out the other person's identity

He’s gonna help you with your powers now

Back to the general headcanons-

You’re both trying to hide it from May but one of you slips up

She’s having 2 heart attacks back to back

Please be a good wingman for him

At least be better than Ned

If you’re not as smart as him-

Don’t worry, he’ll try his absolute best to help you and not rub it in your face

When the both of you are in the Avengers-

You’re both radiating “I'm just happy to be here” energy

You understand all of his references and respond with another one

The others are just like “????”

While Peter’s being trained by Tony

You’re being trained by basically EVERYONE so jokes on him!

They were all training you for different scenarios since you’re the youngest and no one really wants anything to happen to you

Nat’s training you for hand to hand combat

While Clint’s training to use a bow and arrow

“Why do I even need this? I have my powers you know”

“Because you need to work on your aim”

“My aim is completely fine-”

“You remember what happened last time?”

“I missed an object while swinging and almost fell to my death….”

“And?”

“Tony had to activate my built-in parachute.”

“Exactly.”

Whenever you’re not training, you hang out with Wanda and Vision

You never seem to be surprised when Vision phrases through the walls due to your spider senses

He’s trying to understand your references with Peter- please explain it to him

Wanda likes having you around since you don’t really see her powers as something of mass destruction and instead look at it with curiosity

Which results in a maternal soft spot

Even if some of the questions you ask about her powers are a little concerning

“Can you like- create your own reality? With your powers I mean”

“I haven’t tried it??”

She will

The way she really shows it is to check if you're doing ok mentally

Natasha’s doing the same thing except she makes sure you’re doing well physically

Tony also has a soft spot for you-

You basically have favorite child privileges with him

You get away with more things at least compared to the others

If you ask him for something he’ll say yes

If you show interest at something, the next day it's at the tower waiting for you

“I’m gonna order some take out-do you want anything tinier Parker?”

“Some pizza sounds nice”

“Okay then”

“Yeah, it does-”

“Order your own food Barnes.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna buy some food at the store-”

“Do you have enough money?”

“Not sure-”

*Gives 100 dollars*

“Here.”

Can't say the same for Sam and Bucky tho-

They don’t hate you-

It’s just that if they had to associate you and Peter with a song it would be Teenagers by MCR

Peter’s always looking out for you during missions

You’re one of the only family members he has left- of course, he’ll look out for you

You’re also looking out for him for the same reason

But also because May would be devastated if something happens to even one of you

There’s basically nothing in this world that can break your bond

If someone wants to see Peter REALLY pissed off- they should try harming you in any way

[sora-suna-rin]

hi^^ i saw that requests were open and you were also obsessed with encanto atm so i thought id give a request a shot:) since im a vvvv indecisive person ill just toss out 2 ideas and you can pick whichever you prefer? not really sure how this works but goin with the flow lmao

1. fluff!! bruno x male reader (or gender neutral reader) where dolores overhears one of them (bruno or reader) talking to themselves about how much they like the other and want to confess etc but have no clue how to, so dolores comes up with a plan (maybe involving the other grandkids) to get them to confess^^ ik its a common trope but i love it so

2. not fluff.. nsfw... bruno x male reader on this one too. im not sure how the plot would work (if there is any) but one where bruno is a little shy and ends up grinding on reader('s thigh?) to get off maybe with some themes of overstimulation tossed in?

and for both i kinda headcanon that bruno's eyes glow green when he feels really intense emotions so maybe incorporate that if possible? yeppp

again, dont write it if you dont feel up to my ideas! always write what you want^^ and ty:D

Hello lovely person!

A/n: So my original plan was to write both, since my ask box is kinda empty... but I don't know how to write it. Sorry. But thank you for this ask! And I did gender neutral reader cause yes. I also wrote this while like half asleep(still am) so I hope you enjoy!

Bruno X gender neutral reader

Vocab: nibling is the gender neutral term for niece/nephew

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Secrets to be told

Night dawned on the magical house as the Madrigal family finished cleaning up from dinner, everyone going back to their rooms or other activities. It was normal for the youngest triplet of the Madrigals to head up to his room after dinner to check on his rats and give them some food as well. But, unlike always, his reason was a bit different. He sighed heavily upon reaching his door, the sound of a few rats scattering around filled the air. He walked in and took an arepa from his pocket, handing it to his rats as he plopped himself on his bed with another sigh. He looked over at his rat friends as a warm smile crept on his lips. "If only…"

From not too far away, Dolores halted her movements abruptly. "What's wrong?" Mirabel asked. Camilo, Mirabel, Isa, and Dolores were all hanging out in the nursery, talking about random things they didn't have time to talk about at dinner. 

"It's Tio Bruno… he's- talking to himself?" She questioned herself. Each gave a questioning gaze, watching as Dolores tried to catch what his mumbling.

"Well? What's he saying?" Camilo asked, their patience to know began fading. Dolores eyes went wide, her mouth agape with a light gasp

"If only I could tell you…," Dolores began to repeat. "The way your eyes sparkle, the way you smile at every joke I make. Or the way you watch my telenovelas so intently, almost more than Dolores, which is saying something… " she frowned a bit,, continuing to listen. "Just wish you could know... I wish I had the guts to tell you…" Dolores blinked a bit, smiling brightly. "Tío Bruno has a crush!" She quietly squealed, the rest of her cousins grinning widely. They were all happy to see Bruno finally find someone that makes him feel things that can only be described as love. The small celebration was taken aback when a voice cut through.

"Wait-" Mirabel cut in. "Didn't he also say he didn't have the guts to ask them out?" She asked, gaining a nod from her other cousins. Isabela gasped, attention turned to her.

"What if we help him? You know, get his person of his desires." She suggested.

"Yeah, that wouldn't be such a bad idea." Camilo added, the rest of their cousins nodding as they all began to plan.

Back up in Brunos tower, however, was less eventful. He watched his rats perform shows(just them running around aimlessly on a makeshift stage) that usually turned up his mood, but his thoughts still lingered to his person of interest, Y/n. Y/n was definitely an interesting person, coming off as strange at the first glance. They tended to stay quiet and kept together, but were anything but that. Chaotic might be a way to put it, but loving was how Bruno saw it. He loved to look into their eyes and have his rats perform for them. The way they lit up seeing him made his day, or the way they rambled on about random things. He could go on and on about his person of interest, but his thoughts were cut short by a knock. He got up and opened the door to reveal Camilo with a unreasonably big smile. "Camilo? Is something wrong?" He asked his nibling with a confused look. Camilo shook his head.

"No, don't worry Tío. I just need to show you something." They said. Bruno raised an eyebrow out of confusion, following the teen out of his room and Casita.

"Where are we going?" He asked as he looked around. It looked like they were around a secluded part of the river, which wasn't usually seen by wanderers.  Camilo didn't answer, only continued to walk up to Isa and Mirabel. They joined them with a bunch of smiles plastered on their faces. "What's going on?" He asked and Isa shoved a small bouquet in his hands.

"We're helping you out." Isa said, slipping behind Mirabel, her smile still remained. Camilo began to push him forward a bit before returning to a halt. Bruno stood confusingly as two figures approached. He squinted, trying to make out who was approaching them. Once the figures came into the light he flushed red with fear, he knew what his niblings had been up to. 

"Hi Bruno!" The voice is soft and sweet, making Bruno's heart flutter. "Dolores told me that you needed to tell me something?" They ask.

"Uh- I-I…" He began looking around nervously. Isa cleared her throat, catching his attention.

"Give them the flowers." She whispered to him, in which he complied. 

"T-this is for you. I thought you'd like them." He mutters. Y/n smile and take them from him, a blush and smile occupied their face.

"Thank you Bruno! They're lovely." They said, admiring the flowers. Bruno stood there awkwardly as silence once filled the air again. 

"Ahem," Mirabel now took the time to catch Bruno's attention. "Ask them." She whispered a bit too loudly.

"You wanna ask me something? Y/n asked like a curious puppy. Brunos heart melted at their questioning figure, all worry leaving him.

"Um, well…" He began for a short bit. "W-well, I was wondering if you wanted too…" He cut himself off again. They kept giving him the same worried look.

"Come on, you can do it." Dolores silently cheered, giving him the power to build up all the confidence he had and just say it. 

"YNIREALLYLIKEYOUWANDWANNAGOONSDATE." Or yell… it seemed to have worked though. Their smile turned into a soft one, the moonlight hitting perfectly against their glowing energy. 

"I'd love to, Bruno." It was the happiest of Bruno's life, and the first of many plans for the Madrigal kids. For their uncle was troubling with love, and he just got on a long Rollercoaster...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's the end! I hope it's not too bad. I was like half asleep when I wrote this, and haven't read over it. Please comment any feedback. Thank you for reading!

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

[babybirdgyeom]

you, me and bertha | pjy

genre: neighbors!au, farmer!au, lots of bickering and alcohol

word count: 30k

summary: when you moved to your uncle’s farm you expected a lot of things - but not to fall in love with your handsome, yet very annoying neighbor park jinyoung, whose favorite hobby was to tease you.

note: i posted parts of this before but never finished it - so i rewrote it all and here it is, the finished story! 

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Walking the long but yet very pretty way towards the small village that, from today on, was supposed to be your new home you felt a bit indifferent. While you were sure that it was time for you to start a new chapter of your life you still were anxious about taking such a big step. Moving to the farm that belongs to your uncle seemed like a good idea to you, the place held such special memories and as a child you always wanted to live here, working on the farm, supporting your uncle and his son, Bambam.

The big city you grew up had nothing to offer you anymore – so now, you wanted a cut in your life. There was nothing you loved more than sneaking out with your cousin at night, secretly meeting up with your friends, going for a swim in the small, but yet very charming lake next to your house. You wouldn't trade those memories for nothing, cherishing each and every one of them.

It's been such a long time since you visited the town, you actually felt a bit nostalgic when you arrived in the center of the town. The residents liked to call the marketplace at the beginning of the town „the heart“ of the city. Ever since your last visit many years ago nothing has changed. Basically, it was a round and rather big circle, surrounded by a small café that has been there all your life, right next to it the library that was owned by the Kim's, the parents of Bambam's closest friend, Kim Yugyeom. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered how you used to hide in the library, reading the same few books over and over again. Opposite of the library was the old restaurant – every single rather important event was celebrated in that restaurant, may it be birthdays, anniversaries, New Year's Eve or whatever other reason there was.

It was so popular not only because of the delicious food they had but also because it was literally the only restaurant around. Your uncle and your neighbors, the Park's, were providing them with the food they needed, so you usually always got food for free which lead to you and Bambam spending a lot of time at the restaurant, no matter how often your uncle insisted he could cook dinner for you.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the little pub that you never actually were allowed to spend time in since you used to be too young. The Im’s, the owners of the place, were very strict about that. None of you and your friends were ever allowed to be inside the pub as long as you were minors – even their son Jaebeom rarely ever saw it from the inside.

As you stood in the middle of the marketplace you couldn't help but smile as the last sunrays of this warm late summer day were falling right onto the pub, making it look a bit more beautiful than it actually was. The paint on the outside was splintered and the sign that simply said ‘The Im’s Pub’ was slowly falling apart - somehow all of this gave it a certain charm though. The mentality of the village always made you feel comfortable. There were about 150 people living here if you had to guess and the next supermarket was a twenty-five minute drive away but the people seemed so happy, not worrying about a lot of things.

You decided that a short stop in the pub before you’d go home to your uncle’s house wouldn’t hurt anyone. After all, you were way too curious to finally see the place everyone always used to go after work ended.

As you carefully entered the door you felt cheerful - it looked exactly like you always imagined it to be. Most of the furniture was made out of old wood, the bar was long and it was the first thing one would notice as they came in since it was on the opposite wall of the entrance.

Your smile was a mile wide when you spotted the one man you hoped to find standing behind the bar. Of course, Jaebeom was the bartender by now, it was always his plan to work here, to him it seemed to be the coolest thing ever to be a bartender, especially in his own bar. For a second you studied him, he looked dangerously handsome. Certainly a lot taller than the last time you had interacted with him and his face looked more mature, a sharp jawline and high, defined cheekbones, his hair styled back making him look almost evil with the combination of the tight and dark shirt he was wearing and the nose ring shining in the light. If it wasn’t for the two moles under his eyebrow you would have to look twice to be sure it was the same Im Jaebeom you spent so much time with as a child.

The expression on his face as he recognized you, the young lady from out of town, was priceless - his whole relaxed and cool facade vanished immediately as he looked at you with his eyes wide open, a questioning glance as he saw you. He was caught off guard, his mouth slightly open.

“Just the man I hoped to find. Im Jaebeom, you look good,” you flirted as you walked towards the bar, “I’d like to have one beer please.”

Within seconds he was walking away from his place behind the bar to come and embrace you in a tight hug before mustering you, shortly studying your face to make sure you were really the person he thought you were.

“(Y/N), live and in color? I thought you forgot about us,” he joked cheesily, his hand holding your chin.

A joyful laugh came out of your mouth as he walked back behind the bar, opening both, you and himself, a beer.

“You could’ve called, you know? No need to surprise me like this. My old heart can’t take those kinds of surprises anymore.”, he sounded lighthearted, just like you remembered him.

Immediately you felt ten times lighter, clicking with people you haven’t seen in a long time was one of the purest things in existence and you were more than relieved to see that you and Jaebeom were equally as excited to be reunited after such a long time. Not getting along with your old friends, especially Jaebeom, was one of the many fears you had about moving here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think Bambam would actually keep quiet about me coming back.” you admitted.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?”, he asked as he was leaning against the bar, his whole attention on his former best friend, still having an obviously hard time to believe that you were actually sitting in front of him right now.

Before you could give him an answer someone else started to talk from behind you and you immediately recognized his orotund voice, “Six long years.”, your cousin said while he and another familiar face walked up to you.

Bambam pulled you into an even deeper hug than Jaebeom did and you felt home within seconds. Yugyeom was right beside him, of course, where else would he be than next to Bambam? The two of them still were inseparable apparently.

“How did you manage to not say anything?” Yugyeom said in shock before looking at you, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I can’t believe Bambam didn’t tell us.”

You were almost amazed at how much he grew, his chin could easily rest on your head by now, something that you would’ve never thought could happen. Yugyeom has always been the youngest and smallest kid back then and now he was the tallest in the room.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d actually come. Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Yugyeom,” he teased his friend, still nagging about the crush he had on you when you were five years old. Yugyeom rolled his eyes at his comment before bringing his attention back to you and Jaebeom, sitting down on the stool beside yours.

“So, how long are you going to stay?” Jaebeom asked suddenly.

For the first time, you actually had to say the truth out loud, making it feel much more real.

“I’m not planning to leave again,” you sounded more confident than you thought, the nice encounter with your old friends almost making you feel like you had nothing to worry about.

There was a moment of silence, both of them not knowing what to say, broken by Bambam when he let out a laugh.

“You know, I never saw you speechless until now,” he said amused.

“You mean-”, Yugyeom started to form a sentence but dropped it, not knowing how to continue.

“You’re moving here?”, Jaebeom asked, wrinkles on his forehead as his brows narrowed in confusion. As you slowly nodded his concentrated expression vanished and changed into a grin. “You’re actually moving here.”, he repeated breathlessly, more to himself than to you, slowly nodding to himself as if he had to progress the new information, “Welcome home then, (y/n). Let’s celebrate a bit.”, he said while pouring shots into a few glasses in front of him.

Time went by fast and you had fun learning about what happened in the last six years. It didn’t sound like a lot has changed though, they were still as close and as fun to be around as last time. Every time you looked at them it hit you how fast time flew by, it felt like a few months ago that all of you were playing hide and seek in the middle of the night while your parents had no idea you sneaked out. Those teenage boys were adults now, or at least on their way to becoming some.

A few hours and many shots later, you and Bambam walked home, the night sky was breathtakingly clear and full of stars - a sight you could never see in your hometown. You forgot how special it felt to walk under millions of stars.

Walking home with Bambam was your favorite part about today, you definitely missed him the most. He told you a bit about how Jackson and Mark are thinking about taking over the old restaurant because the owners are getting too old to manage everything and about Yugyeom and Youngjae being into the same girl, without knowing that Mark is dating her secretly.

As you arrived at home your uncle was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch in front of the old farmhouse.

“Uncle Minwoo,“ you almost shouted out as you saw him, jogging over to where he was sitting.

Minwoo always was your favorite uncle and you were his favorite niece, much to the dislike of your siblings.

“(Y/n),” he laughed as you hugged him, “you smell like you had a good time in the pub.”

“We actually have a small surprise for you,” Bambam told you to follow him.

He lead you to the old little cottage that has been on the farm for as long as you were able to think – back in the days it was mainly used for storing tools and electronics that shouldn’t be exposed to the rain. A bit confusion coming over you, your uncle handed you a key and you opened the small hut. Stepping inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Welcome home,“ your uncle said as you observed the comfortable room. A small kitchen, a couch and a TV in the living room, a bed on the other side of the room. They painted the walls white and decorated a bit, making you feel touched. You were sure you could stay here forever, it looked so cute and welcoming, like a real home. Not a thousand words could describe how much you appreciated them for putting in so much effort, just to make you feel comfortable.

As you thanked both, Bambam and your uncle, you sat down and all of you talked a bit until your uncle told you to go to sleep. Work wouldn’t wait for you and you were thankful for any second of sleep you could get.

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Waking up the next morning, you immediately regretted the alcohol you were having yesterday. Your phone said it was currently six in the morning and while being woken up by the sound of chicken and cows was way more relaxing than your alarm clock you still would have preferred to just sleep in.

Walking outside a few minutes later you inspected the farm – it was a giant property with two big houses on it. Half of the farm belonged to your uncle, he took care of the animals, the other half belonged to the Park's, in charge of the harvest.

Starting the day with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs was one of the easier tasks you had to face today since it almost didn’t require any kind of skill. While you were picking up another egg you suddenly heard someone scream at you from behind.

“Hey! Put the eggs back! Who in the world steals eggs these days?”, the deep voice belonged to a man but before you could turn around to find out who was screaming at you, he held your wrists behind your back, not giving you any space to move.

Your attempt to free yourself was almost embarrassing, you had no chance.

Turning your head around to scream at the stranger you muted as soon you met his eyes - the words you wanted to scream wouldn’t come out as you looked into the familiar face of his.

His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his dark eyes were piercing you, filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance - he was staring at you and waiting for an explanation.

“Par-,“ your voice died and you fastly cleared your throat, “Park Jinyoung?”

His annoyed expression changed into a confused one as you called him by his name. You couldn’t believe he was accusing you of stealing eggs.

“Let go of me!” you demanded but Jinyoung wasn’t planning to listen to you.

“Who are you?”, he asked harshly, “You’re not from here. How do you know my name?”

The grip on your wrists became tighter and actually started to hurt a bit.

“I’m (Y/N). Minwoo’s niece,” you replied just as harsh as he asked you, “Didn’t Mrs. Park teach you any manners?”

He let you go and you immediately grabbed your own wrist just so he couldn’t grab them again. A small pout formed on your lip as you looked at them, trying not to let him see that it actually hurt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you.

Now you were facing him and you had to stop for a second to take in his beauty. As he was holding you, you didn’t really manage to study his face since you were too busy trying to free yourself but now you started realizing how handsome he became.

It's not like he was ugly before, you and him just never clicked and that’s why you never gave his face any kind of attention. Jinyoung wasn’t a bad guy, you knew that because Jaebeom repeatedly assured you that he was actually a very loving person once you get to know him. Personally, you just never really got the chance to, since he definitely wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with you. Not in a mean way though, he just didn’t seem to care about the girls in town, especially not the one who always came over the summer break and then left again.

Glowering at you, he was waiting for an answer. You, on the other hand, didn’t dare to look him into his eyes, instead, your eyes were studying the rest of his face. His features were sharper and manlier now, his brows thick but he still had the same wrinkles around his eyes. For a second you wanted to look at his lips but you stopped yourself, not wanting him to get wrong ideas.

“What are you doing here?” you asked in retund instead of giving an answer, “Didn’t you always say you wanted to leave this place?”

He rolled his eyes as you avoided his question.

“I asked first,“ he said, making it hard for you not to chuckle at the very immature conversation you were having.

“I am working here. Don’t you have some vegetables to take care of?” you asked coldly before turning your back to him.

“You better get used to my face, if you scare me like this one more time I might have a heart attack.”, you added as your attention back to feeding the chickens.

But instead of leaving Jinyoung was walking to stand right beside you again, “You’re working here? How come?” he asked. It never was a secret that Jinyoung wanted to leave this town, he used to talk about it a lot back then already and, even though he still was here, apparently, he still wanted to leave.

“I’m supporting my family,” you shrugged, not looking at him. You really didn’t want to be cold to him but you were tired and you knew how Jinyoung was, he’d either be totally rude or uninterested.

You could see him shake his head in confusion as you were continuing with your work, “Okay, you go milk those cows and churn that butter if this is what fulfills you, (y/n). I’ll go back to work,“ he pointed at the field of tomatoes on the other side of the farm your families shared and left you alone again.

Walking over to the cows, you couldn't help but wonder why he still was here. He was a very clever guy, he could easily go and leave this town to study and open a business or whatever it was he wanted to do. Glancing over to him one more time, you tried to milk the cows.

The field of tomatoes he was currently working on was not too far away but luckily far enough to give you a bit of privacy. He seemed to be very invested in picking the best tomatoes he could find, a concentrated glance on his face. And you really should try to concentrate too, since you haven’t milked a cow in years.

But you failed miserably. To your desperation, no one was around when you went looking for Bambam or your uncle to help you. Trotting back to the cows you sat down on a small stool in front of one them, giving it another try.

You groaned at the cow, laying your head back and closing your eyes in frustration.

“Just give me your stupid milk, please,” you mumbled while taking a deep breath, your eyes still closed.

“Are you sure this is the right job for you? If you can’t even milk Bertha maybe you should reconsider,“ Park Jinyoung’s voice startled you, making you jump a bit. The grin on his face clearly was teasing, full of satisfaction because you were struggling, “Do you need help?”

“Please,“ you didn’t care about the triumphing grin on his face, you were more than willing to take his offer. Any kind of help was good. And in the end, you didn’t dislike Park Jinyoung, you just weren’t close to him.

He nodded before telling you to wait for a second as he walked towards the little shed. Coming out again he held a strange looking machine in his hand while attaching it to the cow’s udder.

“We haven't milked them by hand for years,” he explained to you as he took your wrist once again, this time more careful though, and slightly pulled you towards the cow’s udder, right next to him. “Watch closely, I’ll show you once and if you can’t follow, you’re on your own,” his words sounded harsh but you didn’t take them that way. The fact that Jaebeom was his best friend was something you two had in common and if Jaebeom wanted you to give Jinyoung a chance you would do that. For Jaebeom, but also for you. After all, Jinyoung was your neighbor and, in addition, he was a handsome man, you wouldn’t mind being able to look at his face whenever you wanted at all.

You saw the way he acts around the guys and you saw that he indeed had a very soft heart, maybe he just had a hard time showing it.

“Hey! Are you even watching?” he asked annoyed while glancing at you, “I know how to do this, I am not the one that has to learn. I’m being nice here, don’t waste my time.”

You chuckled a bit at him losing his temper so easily. “Yes, Jinyoung, I’m watching," you said grinning, “Wasting your time was not a task on my list today.”

After he rolled his eyes at you you could swear you saw a small smile on his face, “You’re really annoying,“ he insisted while starting to milk the cow.

You tried to concentrate on how exactly he does it, what movements his hands made and so on but you kept on finding yourself thinking about how good his hands looked – what in the world was wrong with you? It's not like you've never seen an attractive man before so you had no clue why your hormones were playing a game with you.

After you started to try milking the cows yourself you felt more than relieved that you actually managed to do it right. Letting out a small ‘thank god’ under your breath you realized that Jinyoung still stood right beside you, watching your every move.

“You know, you can go back to the toma-,” you started to say before he interrupted you in the same moment.

“Just a tip for you,“ he said, not sounding cold for the first time, “Don’t dress up for farm work. You’ll ruin your clothes. You can still wear cute outfits after you’re finished here. But while working just wear something old,“ he said as he was just about to turn around before you had to take the chance to annoy him one last time for now.

“You think my outfit is cute?” the grin on your face was wide and you were way too amused.

As a response he gave you a death glare, knowing that you’ll probably never stop teasing him about it.

“Please don't,“ was all he could whisper frustrated under his breath.

“What a softie you are,“ you said, playfully poking his upper arm, “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

He let out yet another sigh, sounding almost whiny, “Are you always this awful?“

“Dear diary,“ you said in a nagging tone, “Today Park Jinyoung gave me a complim-”

Before you could end your sentence he was covering your mouth, shaking his head in disbelief slowly, “I’ll go back to work, (y/n). Don’t forget to churn the butter. The wooden pitcher we use for it is in the shed,“ and with that, he walked back to his side of the farm again.

Just a second before he arrived he glanced over to you again, screaming so that you could hear him, “I didn’t compliment you okay? Don't let it get to your head.“

Waving at him from the shed, you nodded your head. “Sure. Talk to you later! Your outfit looks cute too by the way”, you screamed back. Maybe working next to Jinyoung wasn’t so bad after all, if he was always such an easy target to provocate you'd at least have your fun.

When Bambam came into the shed with the tools to take over a few hours later, you were churning the butter, cursing under your breath. Sweat was dripping all over your forehead and it was seriously tiring, every single muscle of your arm hurt. You weren’t sure if you could manage to do that on a daily base. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about a gym membership anymore.

Your cousin stared at you confused, a sly grin in the corner of his mouth, “What exactly are you doing?“

“I’m churning the goddamn butter. Why is it so hard?” you complained while looking up to him. He was holding two beers in his hands, handing one over to you before starting to laugh at your action.

“Why would you use that old thing for that? We have a machine that churns it for us,“ he laughed, “I don’t know why we even still have that old thing.”

“Fucking Park Jinyoung,“ you cursed under your breath, leaving Bambam even more confused.

“You met him?” he asked while sitting down in the hay beside you.

“I did," you hissed, “He was the one who told me to do it this way.”

Bambam’s smile grew wide as he tried to contain his laughter, “A typical Park Jinyoung move.”. He almost sounded satisfied that you were getting fooled by him, “He likes you if he teases you.”

The only response you could give him to that was an eye-roll, “Well, that’s not a very nice way of showing it,“ you took a big sip of the beer, knowing that you probably deserved it for all the teasing earlier, before continuing, “You didn’t tell me he became handsome though.”

Bambam’s eyes widened immediately as you confessed and you could tell he was trying not to spit out his drink out of shock. He fastly swallowed, “You have a crush on Park Jinyoung?”

You shook your head scoffing, lightly kicking his leg, “A crush? How old are we? I just think he’s very attractive. But he was pretty rude though.”

Bambam pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking into the sky, „His father died two years ago. He became a bit cold since then. But he opens up sooner or later, just be patient with him.“

You gulped at the news, “What a sad loss, Mr. Park was such a ray of sunshine, always ready to help.”

Bambam nodded, “He was. Olli was only six years old when his father died. But dad took a lot of care of them since then.”

There was a short silence. You still remembered little Olli, Jinyoung’s younger brother. The last time you saw him he was barely two years old.

“I can’t believe he’s your type though. I thought I really wanted to set you up with Yugyeom,“ Bambam broke the silence before you could think about it any longer, almost offended. You laughed at him. He was close to Jinyoung, you knew that, but he always wanted you to date Yugyeom, only for the purpose of having him as an official family member.

“That won’t happen, Bam.”, you broke it to him, much to his disappointment.

A deep sigh came from him, “Well if you want Jinyoung so bad, come to the pub with us. I bet he’ll be there too tonight. We are meeting at eight. What do you say?”

“I don’t want him, I simply said that he is good looking.”, you hoped he wouldn’t tease you all the time about this from now on, already starting to slowly regret that you even brought it up in the first place. And as much as you would like to go out to the pub with the others you had a date with your bathtub that you wouldn’t want to miss for anything else tonight.

“I’ll pass though. I’ll come next time,“ you promised, standing up and walking towards your door.

“I can’t wait to tell Jaebeom that you and Jinyoung are going to become a couple. How exciting!” he yelled after you, making you laugh out in frustration. Sharing your opinion on Jinyoung’s look with your cousin probably wasn't the best idea.

It fastly got dark outside and you were lighting the candles in your bathroom, the bathtub slowly filling up with hot water. Exactly what your muscles needed after churning the butter all afternoon. Putting a bit of milk in the bathtub, you wondered if you had some honey in the farmhouse by any chance. As you wrapped the first towel you could find around your body, you wanted to hush over to your uncle’s house to check. But what stopped you from your plans was a shadow you saw walking past your window, making you freeze until someone rang your door.

Opening it, no one else than Jinyoung was standing in front of it, his work clothes traded into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, a basket in his hand and his eyes fixed on your exposed legs. The towel you were wearing luckily covered all of your breast and bottom but that was about it. And, as if it couldn't get worse, it also had a lot of fairies on it - it used to be your favorite towel when you were about five years old. Still, you didn’t need Jinyoung to see you wearing it.

“Jinyoung?“ you asked him, unsure why he was visiting but he was still looking at the exposed parts of your body, not doing a good job at hiding the fact that he got distracted by your legs. You barely noticed though because your thoughts wandered to this morning. “How dare you not telling me that we have a machine for the butter? Are you crazy?” you raised your voice at him.

“My arms hurt so much,“ you added, too tired to fight him so you decided to whine.

Coming back to reality, he laughed at you, his eyes now looking at your face, “You seriously did it all by yourself?”, he was lucky the wrinkles around his eyes were so cute whenever he laughed, otherwise you would have killed him right there, “You must be pretty strong then.”

This time it was your turn to give him a death glare, “What do you want?” you asked him annoyed before you saw his eyes wandering down to your legs once again.

Not missing out on the opportunity to nag him, you chuckled, “Do you like my outfit?” as you struck a small pose, you had to be careful not to expose any parts he shouldn’t see.

Rolling his eyes he handed over the basket, “Seriously, you’re so annoying.”

You grinned, thinking it’s quite funny how easy it was to annoy him, “But you still think I’m cute, so it doesn’t matter.”

There definitely was a smile hidden on his lips that he tried to hide at all cost, but you could see it reaching his eyes, “This is for you. My mum put your favorites in it. Tomatoes, cherries, peaches, blueberries. She asked me to bring it to you,“ the man said, trying to sound as uninterested and unbothered as possible.

“That-“ you started to say, feeling very touched about the little gift but a bit confused as to why Jinyoung brought it to you, “That’s so nice of her. I’ll come over tomorrow and thank her.”

He immediately focused on you again, “No, it's fine. I’ll tell her. She’s kind of sick at the moment, she needs to rest, Olli is not even letting me go near her because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick, so I doubt he would let you come over.”

You mustered him suspiciously but decided to leave him be, you surely teased him enough for today and didn’t want him to actually dislike you.

“Alright, Jinyoung. Thank you,“ you gave him a soft smile as you were about to close the door.

“Wait,” he stopped you before you closed the door and you waited for him to say something, “Are you planning to go to the pub later?“ - if you didn’t expect him to ask one thing than it was this one. Why did he care suddenly?

“I don’t think so. Churning that butter has really worn me out, you know?” you said, laughing lightly, “And my bathtub is already waiting for me.”

“Oh alright. That’s cool. See you soon, I guess,“ he said before awkwardly giving you a small smile and leaving again. What a strange yet interesting guy he was.

Something about him made you look forward to your future on the farm. But before you could let it get to your head, you were interrupted by a text from no one else than Jaebeom.

[Jaebeom, 22:29]

Glad to hear you're getting yourself a man! Jinyoung and (y/n), how sweet.

You let out a small laugh before finally meeting your only date for tonight: Your bathtub. Though you had to admit that the handsome face from next door was coming to your mind every now and then.

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After a week you slowly got used to the daily work on the farm, your body was finally starting to react differently, your arms weren’t getting as sore anymore and waking up early was bothering you less and less. It was a sunny Saturday which means you had to gather all of the stuff your uncle wanted to sell on the market the next morning. Picking out the best eggs, milk, wool and cheese was pretty boring, especially since Bambam left early because he was going on a date tonight with some random girl you never heard of. But since you wanted him to be happy, and also because his teasing about Jinyoung was slowly but surely making you go insane, you told him it would be okay if he let you work alone today. It took you about an hour until you were finally done with carrying all of the boxes into your uncle’s car as you saw Mrs. Park, Jinyoung’s mother, and decided to help her quickly, she looked like she was struggling.

His mother was a beautiful and lovely lady, always has been. Her black hair was long and even though there were a few grey strands in it by now she still looked as young as ever.

“Mrs. Park, let me help you,“ you shouted while jogging over to her, “Where’s Jinyoung? Letting his mother carry all the heavy boxes of fruits and vegetables alone is not a nice thing to do,”, you disapproved, one box already in your hands.

She let out a laugh and you were reminded of how warm her laughter was, it sounded like the giggle of a small child.

“It’s fine, I told him to rest for today. He always works so much,” she let out a worried sigh, “I’m very thankful, I know helping me on the farm was not what he wanted to do with his life but he does it for me.”

You never really thought about it that way before - this might explain why he’s still here despite always hating the small village he was born and grew up in, it was probably hard for him to leave his family behind after losing his father. While carrying a box full of blueberries you ate a handful, not able to hold back. The Park’s blueberries have always been your favorites, none of the ones back at home could compare to the juicy fruits you'd get here.

“You still love blueberries, I see,” She hummed joyfully as she was carrying the last box to the car.

“I am obsessed with them,” you answered, “Oh- I still wanted to thank you for the little basket full of fruits you send to me. I was in heaven, your peaches were even better than I remembered.”

Mrs. Park looked at you in confusion for a second before getting a grip of the situation, the confusion vanished while a different kind of expression came to her face, unable for you to read at first.

“So he can actually be charming,“ she mumbled to herself with an almost mischievous smirk and within seconds you knew exactly what she was talking about.

Scoffing, you wondered why Jinyoung wouldn't just admit that the little basket was a present from him, not from his mother – who would do something so sweet without wanting to let the other person know? But then, on the other hand, you knew it wasn't like Jinyoung to play the nice guy.

“Mum,” you heard his voice while he walking out of the door to their house.

When he saw you he froze for a second, “Oh, hey, (y/n),“ he said with a slight and not really convincing smile, it almost seemed forced.

You nodded towards him, ready to go back to work and leave them alone, as his little brother came running outside, chasing after Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung,” he let out a scream as he tried to jump on his back. He was surprisingly tall for an eight-year-old, almost managing to get to Jinyoung’s shoulders if he jumped high enough, “Can I come with you? Please?”

Before Jinyoung could answer, Olli’s attention was shifted somewhere else. Or better said, on someone else. To be precise, you caught his attention, the girl standing in front of his mother and brother, a stranger he’s never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously, studying you exactly, “Are you the niece of Minwoo?”

You kneeled down to be at an eye to eye level with him, shaking his hand, “Yes, that’s me. I’m (y/n). It's nice to meet you.”

He had a big grin on his face, “Hi, I’m Olli,“ after introducing himself to you he turned around to his big brother, “Did you make the basket for her?”

Jinyoung shushed him within a second, giving him a warning glance before trying to cover up his story, “Yes, I did it because mum asked me to.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh, making fun of her son, “Sure, Jinyoung. It was totally me asking you to do that.”

A heavy sigh fell from Jinyoung’s mouth before shaking his head in disbelief, “Where is your cousin? He promised he’d help me picking up our new couch.”

“Oh, I am afraid he forgot. He’s on a date right now,“, you informed him.

Jinyoung let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple, not believing that Bambam completely forgot about him. Now even more frustrated, he started mumbling, “It’s always the same with this kid.”

“I’ll help you,“ you volunteered determined, not even bothering to ask him first, knowing he’d say no anyway, “I’m done with work for today and I don’t mind coming along.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go alone,“ he insisted, clearly mad at Bambam, before walking over to his car. Not caring you decided to follow him, hoping that he’d be nice to Bambam if you helped him instead, even though you had little hope, considering the fact you were talking about Park Jinyoung but it was worth a try.

“Stop being so stubborn,“ you said to him as you opened the door and sat down inside the car, “Just accept my help.”

And much to your surprise, he did accept it, not bothering to start another discussion with you. Maybe he was just too tired of the constant bickering going on between the two of you.

As the two of you drove out of town the sky looked like it was painted in golden colors, the sun slowly setting but the air was still warm, brushing the arm you held out of the open window.

“Where are we even going?” you asked the obviously bothered boy beside you.

“It’s not far away, the dude I’m buying the couch from lives like twenty minutes away,“ he answered, his eyes glued to the street, „You really didn’t have to come. I could’ve easily done it alone.”

Slowly but surely, you were starting to get mad at Jinyoung. You couldn’t tell why his constant attitude was getting to you but it did. Of course, he didn't have to like you and honestly, maybe you did go a bit too far with the teasing but after all, you were neighbors, co-workers and also shared the same group of friends. Being nice to each other was the least you could do.

„Dude, you’re the worst. Can you keep quiet for once and accept help? Stop being so rude all the time, being nice every now and then won’t hurt you, you know? You can take your bad mood out on Bambam later.”, you snapped at him, not even intended to sound so mean but it just happened.

He peaked at you, his eyes grew wide in shock at your rant. Even though your voice was still low he clearly heard the frustration in it, “What do you mean? I am being nice all the time. I told you that you shouldn’t wear your good clothes to work in. That was a piece of nice advice I gave you for example.”

You scoffed at him not knowing if he was being serious, “You also attacked me because you thought I was stealing chicken and made me churn butter.”

He chuckled amused as you brought the churning up, “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“My arms still hurt. You’re an asshole,“ you rolled your eyes, not in the mood to put up with Jinyoung being, well, himself, when you were just being nice, “If that is your interpretation of being nice I’m beyond sorry for your future girlfriend.”

“Hey, now you’re the one being mean,“ he said, acting offended and honestly, a bit confused, not knowing why the two of you were fighting. You weren't even mad at him, you just felt fed up, craving at least peace between the two of you.

“Well, maybe you just need a taste of your own medicine,“ you shrugged, calming down a bit as the discussion started to become more playful than serious.

But before you or Jinyoung could fuel the fire and add anything into the it, you let out a small scream as he was turning right with full speed, making you feel like you were about to crash, holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.

“For fucks sake, where did you learn how to drive? Do you not know that you’re supposed to slow down before turning?” you asked him, gasping for air.

“If this is already scaring you, I’ll give you the nice advice to not drive with Jaebeom.”, he laughed out loud as he parked his car in front of a big house, “Ready to use the strength in your arms built up from churning butter?”

It took you about twenty minutes to carry all the parts of the couch from the third floor to the trailer on Jinyoung’s car. When you were done it was beginning to become dark outside and the weather was cooling down, making you shiver a bit. All done, you sat back inside Jinyoung’s car as he was securing the trailer so you could drive back home safely – or at least as safe as a ride with Jinyoung could be.

“If you’re cold there’s a blanket on the backseat, I'll get it for you,“ he screamed from outside before coming getting inside the car, a blanket in his hand, “See how nice I am? So caring, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

You shook your head amused, „What a gentleman you are.”

The drive home was more peaceful, no discussions this time. You looked outside, seeing a big and bright star in the sky, pointing to it excited.

“I can’t get over how beautiful the starry night sky is here. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,“ you mumbled, almost sounding dreamy, eyes glued to the sky. It wasn’t even completely dark outside yet, but the first stars were already sparkling brightly.

“Isn’t it the same in your hometown?” Jinyoung asked a bit perplexed as he looked over to you, wondering how you could be so excited about some stars.

“Not at all. The big city lights drown them. You can barely see some, and if you can, they are not as bright as here.”

“I suppose Ilmon isn’t all bad.”, he shrugged, his glance wavering to the sky every few seconds.

You hummed in agreement, “Except for this terrible guy living next to me I quite enjoy my time here.”

He chuckled, enjoying the little game you two were playing, „Must be really hard to live right next to such an attractive young man. I bet you have a hard time.”

Laughing, you were impressed at his wittiness, “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

Before you could let him answer your favorite song suddenly started playing in the radio, making you turn up the volume instantly, “You need to shut up now. This is my all-time favorite song.”

But of course, Jinyoung didn't shut up. He did the opposite, trying to sing along as loud as he could just to ruin the song for you – and he had way too much fun doing it.

“I didn’t know you could sing,“ you said, giving him an approving look.

A smirk formed on Jinyoung's lips, “I'm a man full of surprises.”

The rest of the drive the two of you were singing along to the radio loudly, having genuine fun together for the first time since you arrived. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit, even though it was only a small step.

Driving up to the farm, you already saw Bambam sitting on the porch. He immediately stood up, walking over to the car, already apologizing without you really arriving yet, “I’m so so sorry mate. I completely forgot. I owe you a beer next time we go out.”

Jinyoung chuckled as he turned the engine off, “Doesn’t seem like his date had a happy ending, considering he’s home already.”

“Good for me,“ you shrugged, “I’m way too tired to carry the whole couch inside anyway.”

You were the first to get out of the car, making Bambam narrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing in Jinyoung’s car?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m doing your fucking job, Bam,“ you shot him a mean glance.

As you were walking towards your home you were stopped by Jinyoung holding your arm, making you turn around.

“Thank you, I suppose,“ he said, pressing his lips together, obviously feeling awkward, “Just trying to be nice.”

You gave him a genuine smile, “No problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, (y/n).

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Waking up a few days later you were almost shocked to see today’s weather. Yesterday the sun was still shining while today it was pouring like never before. The sky was dark and grey and your whole farm seemed quite sad, making you wish you could just stay in bed all day, just being lazy, reading, eating and maybe fantasizing about a certain someone.

Checking your phone you saw a text from Bambam: it’s going to storm today, you have to make sure all the animals are in the barn and safe, please. i’m getting food for tonight. see you later, favorite cousin.

You immediately threw on a thick cardigan and brushed your teeth, hurrying to get things done before the weather got even worse. Looking in the mirror you scoffed for a second at your sad reflection - your hair was in a very messy bun and your under-eye circles were almost black. But there was no time to pity yourself right now, you could do that after work.

After you fed and, of course, petted the chickens and made sure that all the windows were closed tightly you ran over to the barn where the cows and goats were in. Your clothes were completely drenched even though the way between the barns was very short, the heavy rain was so strong that there was no way you could’ve stayed dry.

Entering the barn your eyebrows narrowed as you saw that the light was on and the food for the cows was already laid out.

“Uncle Minwoo?”, you screamed loudly, the rain was so loud that otherwise, no one would hear you.

“Oh thank god, there you are,“ the owner of the voice was coming out of the little shed you kept your tools in, throwing one of the milking machines over to you. You barely had time to catch it because Jinyoung was throwing it without caring if you’d catch it or not.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him skeptically as you sat down to the cow next to the one he was currently milking.

He glanced at you with an annoyed expression on his face - but only until he saw how wet you were from the rain. Right then, he bursted out into laughter, “Why are you not wearing a raincoat for fucks sake?” he asked you, enjoying the sight in front of him a little too much.

“I don’t even own one,“ you admitted a bit hesitant while shrugging, knowing he’d make even more fun of you.

And of course, he did.

“How can you not own a raincoat? Seriously, (y/n), you’re something else. Who on earth doesn’t own a raincoat?” he shook his head in disbelief, still laughing.

You simply pressed your lips together, coming back to your actual question, “But why are you here? Certainly not because you wanted to help me.”

“Hey, maybe I’m not as bad as you think and just wanted to be friendly for once?” he said, acting offended, “Since you’re always complaining.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,“ you answered.

Suddenly you heard a loud thunder outside, making you jump - you usually were not afraid of thunder but the sudden loud noise startled you for a second. What really scared you though was the reaction of two of your cows, immediately after they heard the thunder they let out the deepest and loudest sounds you’ve ever heard of them. They sounded terrified.

Jinyoung immediately jumped up from his stool and walked over to Bertha, the small brown cow, petting her face.

“Shhhh, it's okay,“ he tried calming her down before looking over to you, “I’m always here when it storms. Bertha and Marnie are deadly afraid of the thunder, so I accompany them. It calms them down.”

For a second you thought he was fooling you but before you could say something another loud thunder was heard followed by loud sounds of the cows once again. God, you weren't sure if you ever could get used to the sounds they made.

“Wait,“ you interrupted confused as you saw Jinyoung pet Bertha once again, giving her a small kiss on the side of her face, “You’re serious?”

He looked at you with a grin, “Of course I am. Go, pet Marnie a bit. She loves getting pets right under his chin, she’s such a lovely cow.”

You did as he said but not really trusting him yet.

“I didn’t know he had feelings, Marnie, did you know?” you asked the cow sarcastically.

Jinyoung chuckled, shaking his head, “I only have feelings Marnie and Bertha.”

Bertha was walking away from Jinyoung to the hay he just put down for them to lie down for a bit, something you barely ever saw them doing,

“When I first looked into Bertha’s big brown eyes I fell in love.”, he stated lovingly, petting some of the other cows while Bertha was still lying down, „Her eyes are just too pure.“

“That’s adorable.”, you had to admit, “Didn’t expect that from you.”

He scoffed at your remark, “Are you aware that just because I’m telling you you’re stupid because you don’t own a raincoat or work on a farm with a goddamn Gucci shirt doesn't mean I'm an asshole? That’s my way of helping.”, he said confidently, “You just seem to not know exactly what to do, so I’m trying to help.”

„You're still being mean while doing it,“ you insisted, not giving in.

“Whatever,“ he walked over to Bertha, who was resting on the ground, lying down next to her, “Just go inside and relax, I’ll take care of the cows.”

“No way,“ you sat down next to him, “I’ll not leave you alone with my cows. I don’t trust you.”

Of course, that was only an excuse to spend some time with the pretty boy from next door but he didn't need to know – his ego was big enough already. Both of you were now starting to relax slowly, leaning against Bertha, petting her every now and then.

“So, farmer girl, how do you like it here?” he asked you after a few seconds of silence, seeming to be actually interested in you for once.

“It’s nice,“ you shrugged as he was peaking over at you, “I like the fact that I finally am allowed to go into the pub the most.”

“I remember when we first were allowed to go in, it was like Harry Potter seeing Hogwarts for the first time,“ he remembered laughing, “and now we’re the ones that get drunk in there while the younger kids are jealous they can’t.”

“Some things never change, right?“ your eyes darted to Jinyoung, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be truly relaxed in your presence for the first time since you arrived. He was using his arm as a pillow, a smile on his lips - for once a genuine smile, not the usual teasing one he gave you. The rain was pouring so hard onto the roof of the barn it sounded like applause. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, exhaling a breathy scoff through your nose, not believing that Jinyoung actually had a soft side.

“What's so funny?“ he asked curiously, still with closed eyes.

“I just love the sound of heavy rain.”, you said, also getting into a comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Jinyoung let out a hum, agreeing with you before yawning, “Me too. It’s cozy.”

Your eyelids started to feel heavy, you didn’t have much sleep last night and your body was shivering a bit because of your wet clothes. Jinyoung was snoring lightly beside you within a few minutes and before you knew it you were asleep too. You wouldn’t have expected the barn to be such a comfortable place to sleep in.

The sound of someone calling your name, you couldn't quite identify who it belonged to yet, woke you up. As you were slowly starting to realize where you were, you were just as perplexed as Jinyoung, who was still beside you, seeming to just have woken up too, according to his dreamy gaze.

“Did we fall asleep?” he asked you, yawning and stretching his arms from his body.

As you looked up, Bambam was standing in front of both of you, confusion was written all over his face, “What the hell are you two doing in here? How do I keep finding you two together?”

Jinyoung shrugged, sitting up as you were doing the same, “What does it look like? We obviously fell asleep.”

“Okay but why were you here together in the first place?” he asked, a smirk on his lips, “Did you make out in front of the cows? They are too young to be exposed to such wild and unholy behavior.”

Chuckling at his remark, you rubbed your eyes a bit, “Don't be noisy, please. I’m having a headache.”

“You two are just too cute,“ he teased a bit before telling you the reason he was looking for you in the first place, “Dinner’s ready. We’re having some meat with different salads and corn. Feel free to join us, Jinyoung, your mum and Olli are there too.”

“I don’t know,“ he replied, a little unsure, “I still wanted to meet with Jaebeom and Jackson later.”

Bambam narrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you ask me to join, you jerk?”

Jinyoung laughed at Bambam, standing up, surprisingly offering you a hand to help you get up from the ground, “I’ll eat dinner with you and then you can come with me, alright?“ he proposed to Bambam.

Your cousin agreed happily and the three of you walked over to the big house Minwoo and Bambam lived in.

“Did you find her?” your uncle screamed from the kitchen as he heard the door open.

“Yes, I’m here,“ you shouted back as you took off your shoes.

Walking over to them, Mrs. Park was surprised to see her son, “Oh, Jinyoung. How lovely that you’re here,“ she smiled as cute as always, “Where have you been?”

Both, Jinyoung and you felt a bit awkward telling them where Bambam found them, not wanting anyone to get a wrong idea. But, of course, your annoying cousin was faster.

“They were sleeping in the barn together,“ he smirked as he told your family, enjoying every minute of it, “You two seem to get along better by now.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “We were literally just taking care of the cows.”

You nodded, “It’s not like we met to take a nap in the barn.”

Uncle Minwoo and Mrs. Park both giggled a bit at the bickering between their families,.“Stop teasing them. They are already flustered,“ she said lightheartedly.

Everyone sat down on the table as your uncle brought the food to the table. It smelled like you were sitting in a restaurant and you could feel your mouth watering as you saw the food.

“Thank you for letting us eat with you,“ Jinyoung politely said.

“Oh, Jinyoung!” Minwoo exclaimed joyfully, “You’re always welcome. We’re like family.”

He nodded thankful as all of you started eating. The food was truly delicious and the conversation was nice, all of you participating in it, talking about current events and life on the farm.

You weren't sure if it was because your families were there but Jinyoung was unusually nice to you, not even nagging you once. He passed you the salt when you asked him to and he even asked you about your job back at home.

It was a nice evening and you cherished it, knowing that it probably was a once in a lifetime experience to have a normal, peaceful conversation with Jinyoung in the same room as you.

About an hour later you started walking from the big house to the small hut and even if it only took a minute or two Jinyoung walked right beside you, not leaving your side. Maybe he truly wasn't as bad as you made him out to be – the two of you might have had some difficulties but thinking about it now he seemed to open up to you more and more. As the two of you stood in front of your door, you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how to react to being all alone with him.

“Don’t let Bambam drink too much tonight. I need him to be fit tomorrow. It’s my day off,“ you joked.

“I promise to stop him if he drinks too much,“ he smiled brightly, the wrinkles around his eyes showing slightly, “I’ll see you around?”

A scoff escaped your lips before you could hold it back, “Considering the fact that you can look inside my living room from your window I think so yes.”

And with that, he started walking towards his house but even after he was gone you still couldn't stop smiling.

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The few next weeks were pretty unspectacular, working on the farm was part of your everyday life by now and your work was a routine, knowing every small step of it. But still, today you woke up with a smile plastered on your face - it’s not like anyone besides Bambam and Minwoo, maybe Jaebeom, would know it’s your birthday today but you still loved your special day. It didn't matter that no one would know, you were quite happy that to everyone else this day would be just another day. You, on the other hand, had tons of self-care plans for tonight.

The first thing you did that morning was checking your phone, happy to see that your friends from home - or more like what used to be home to you - thought of you and send you very nice birthday greetings full of love, telling you that they missed you. In no time you got up and dressed to go over to the main house.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Bambam asked you as you had breakfast with him and your uncle. Despite you telling them that they shouldn't worry about you, they still made you some scrambled eggs and cut a lot of the vegetables from the Park’s farm, Bambam even managed to go to the heart of the city to buy some buns for all of you.

Stretching yourself, tiredness still washing over you, you thought about Bam’s question, “I actually don’t know, I thought I'd just do some sheet masks later and watch Netflix,” you said shrugging before eating a piece of cucumber, “Why? Any ideas?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends over, (y/n)?” your uncle suggested but you’d rather not. The problem with inviting people over is you can’t leave early since they are literally at your own place and you'd never kick them out, not wanting to be unfriendly.

“No way, I don’t even think most people know about my birthday. I’ll stay lowkey about it,“  you denied your uncle's request, just wanting to have a nice night on the couch after you took a long bath - an ideal night for you, “Why don't we have a movie night?”, you suggested to your two family members but they didn’t seem to show much support to your idea.

Uncle Minwoo immediately stopped you, “I’m not letting you stay at home with your old uncle and cousin on your birthday.”

“I’d love that though. We hadn’t had a movie night in a long time,“ you pouted, hoping to convince your uncle despite knowing you had no chance against him.

“Bambam, take her to the pub, alright?” he instructed his son who was currently not listening to the conversation and instead was texting someone.

“Sure,“ he agreed with his father before looking up from his phone, “I’ll take you to the pub later, (y/n). No discussion.”

So a few hours later you found yourself in your small bathroom, putting on a real full face make-up for the first time ever since you moved here, you almost forgot how pretty you could be.

Bam said to make sure that you looked your best since a lot of other people would be there, including the girl he ‘sometimes takes out’, as he liked to call it.

Even though you were still not fully in the mood, you started to warm up to the idea of going out as you got ready. In the end, you knew it wouldn't hurt to doll yourself up and go out every now and then - and maybe, just maybe, Jinyoung would be there too.

Bambam picked you up from your place at around eight in the evening, the sky already pitch-black.

“Hey birthday kid,“ he said lovingly, “I didn't know you could look this lovely. I bet Jinyoung's eyes will fall out when he sees you.”

Throwing him a glare that was about to end his life you were ready to hit your cousin if he wouldn’t stop mentioning your attraction towards your neighbor. You prayed he didn’t tell Jinyoung about it, his ego was big enough and you didn’t know if you could survive if he’d become even cockier. Jinyoung knew how handsome he was and that he could probably get just any girl if he wanted already so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t shut your mouth,“ you threatened him even though you knew that nothing could stop Bambam's teasing ever.

Arriving at the Pub, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot - all of your friends were waiting inside, a whole booth decorated just for you. Jaebeom was the first to welcome you, hugging you tightly, “Happy Birthday, princess,“ he almost whispered into your ear before the other people were waiting for their turn to congratulate you.

Jackson and Mark were there, including Mark’s girlfriend, that you hadn’t met before. Yugyeom, of course, was there and even gifted you some sunflowers, “Those are my favorite!” you told him excited, to which he replied that he knew.

Bam introduced you to his almost-girlfriend and she seemed to be a nice girl, almost as tall as him, with cute glasses, short blue hair and a nose ring that she pulled off like no one else could, not even Jaebeom. Speaking of him, you noticed a girl sitting next to him and you made a mental note to ask him about her later on – you bet she was more than just a friend. And last but not least Park Jinyoung was standing in front of you, trying to look cold and unbothered like always, but his eyes were sparkling a bit, giving away that he wasn't as cool as he wanted to be.

“You’re here!” you gasped, genuinely excited to see him, “I feel honored.”

He shook his head joyful, “Don’t let it get to your head. Happy birthday, farmer girl,“ for the first time ever Jinyoung hugged you, and you hated to admit that it felt quite comforting - the hug didn’t feel awkward or forced at all, he even had his hand on your head, right in your hair.

Jaebeom and Bambam, who were standing behind Jinyoung, were inspecting the hug you shared, drawing hearts with their fingers in the air for only you to see as you turned almost as red as the Park’s tomatoes.

“(Y/n), we got a present for you! Come on, sit down,” Jackson happily ordered from the table and Jinyoung let you go, way too early for your liking, but you weren’t complaining – you appreciated what you got this far. As you sat down beside Jaebeom, Jinyoung sat right next to you, pretty close since you were sitting on a small bank with five people.

The booth was decorated with a paper chain that spelled “Happy Birthday”, a few presents were waiting for you on the table, right next to many glasses and several bottles of alcohol.

“This one is from me, Jackson and Youngjae,“ Mark said excited, handing you a present. Opening it you couldn’t help but pout at their heartwarming idea: They gifted you a framed picture the four of you when you were little, you were maybe around three to four years old.

„God, we were so small,“ you chuckled, studying the picture.

Jackson smiled wholeheartedly, “There’s a little wheel on the side that you have to move,“ he explained and so you did - as you turned the little wheel more pictures of your friends and you appeared, all of them from different years.

“I love it,“ you smiled at them, “I'll find a special place to display it, I promise.”

“Open our’s next,“ Jaebeom said, an untrustworthy smirk on his face. “It’s from me and Bam.”

Just because you knew the two of you too well, you didn’t trust them at all.

“I bet it’ll get also a very, very special place at your home,“ Bam assured you and you just knew at that point they probably got you something very stupid.

And they did - you let out a deep breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Thanks, I really needed that,“ you said sarcastically as you hold the box of the vibrator they gifted you in your hand.

Both of the boys bursted out into laughter, making you sigh, „You think you're so funny, don't you? How old are you? Fourteen?“, you snipped both of their foreheads but still, a chuckle managed to slip out. Not really because you thought the present was funny but more because the boys were so amused by their own idea.

“We know the nights get lonely here,“ Jaebeom said, still laughing like a teenager, “Much fun with it. Just call Jinyoung if you need any help with it.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I think I can handle that on my own,“ you quickly responded before anyone else could join their nagging, “I really need a shot now. Otherwise, I won't be able to deal with you.”

Jaebeom immediately poured a round of shots for everyone, “To our little (y/n).”

All of your friends clinked glasses and downed the shot. Within a few hours, one shot became quite a few, too many to count them. Bambam and his girl were making out heavily in the corner of the pub – much to your disgust. While you were happy for your cousin you still could imagine better things than seeing your family member's tongue in someone's mouth.

Jaebeom, you, Youngjae, Mark and Jinyoung were currently playing a card drinking game that you not only never heard of before but was also killing you at a fast pace.

“(Y/n), your turn,“ Jinyoung glanced at you, raising his eyebrow – his cheeks were red and the sloppy smile on his face gave away that he also was at least a bit intoxicated by now, “Red or black?”

That was the whole point of the game, basically the only rule. You had to say a color and if the card didn’t have the color you had to take a shot. Youngjae said it was the best game to get really drunk really fast, and boy, he was right.

“Red”, you answered or to be exact, mumbled since you had a hard time pronouncing your words clearly by now.

And, of course, luck wasn’t on your side - as Jinyoung turned around the card it showed black. “Jinyoung,“ you let out a whine as he laughed, “I literally cannot drink this shot or else I’ll throw up.”

Your head was turning and your stomach felt warm and tingly, a part of you suddenly felt playful and giggly, which was pretty unusual for you. Looking at Jinyoung you felt something deep down in your stomach – the way his rather long hair fell into his face and his tanned skin was glowing was a beautiful sight. God, you really wanted to blame it on the booze but deep down you were aware that you were just fooling yourself.

“You’re no fun,“ he almost whined before taking the shot, “I’ll take it for you since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,“ you nudged him.

“Just trying to get drunk,“ he shrugged laughing before downing the shot as if it was nothing.

Your glance waved over to Yugyeom, who was maybe the drunkest, his eyes slowly closing. “Yugyeom!” you poked his upper arm, not sure if you should laugh or be concerned, “Are you passing out?”

“Hmm?” he responded, trying to open his eyes but failing, “Oh no. I’m just taking a nap.”

You peeked to Jinyoung beside you, questioning him what to do, “Are you going to babysit him?”

He scoffed, “That isn’t my problem to deal with.”

About two hours later you decided that it was time to go home, having to admit that you did have fun despite wanting to stay home at first. You thanked everyone and grabbed your bag.

“What about you?” you asked Jinyoung who was sitting on his phone, texting someone with his eyebrows furrowed, “You’re staying?”

His eyes met yours as he looked up from his phone, “No, I’m walking you home. Give me a second.”

You decided to wait outside, in need of some fresh air to sober you up.

Slowly, you started to walk towards your home, knowing Jinyoung would be able to catch up in no time. And he did, of course.

“Oh!” Jinyoung looked at you with wide eyes as he arrived by your side, before opening his bag, looking for something, “It’s your birthday!”

“No shit, Sherlock,“ you responded unimpressed at his sudden realization, walking through the little city at night, still not used to how beautiful the stars were here, „You just got that now?“

“No, wait. I actually got you something,“ the boy mumbled and you thought you heard wrong for a second. At least until Jinyoung handed you a box, a rather big one.

“Are you serious?” you asked surprised, suddenly feeling shy. This morning you were convinced he didn’t even know it was your birthday but now he was standing in front of you, with a present that was neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, please,“ he rolled his eyes as you two walked through the dark night, only a few lanterns on your way home, “Just open it. It felt wrong not to get you anything. I mean, we’re neighbors now, and also co-workers.”

Your arm nudged him, playfully asking, “Maybe even friends?”

His laugh seemed to be even louder and happier when he’s drunk, “Says who? You wish!” before immediately adding, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe even that. Now open it. Let’s sit down.“

Your neighbor gestured at the bank on the side of the way, a few steps away.

He took out his phone to turn on the flashlight so you could see, sitting dangerously close to you. “Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” you asked him curiously.

“You know, I gotta keep my cool reputation in front of them,“ he joked.

“Ah, can’t let them know that you have a crush on me?”, you blurted out, trying to flirt, knowing you would never say those things if it wasn’t for all the shots you drank earlier.

“You’re a pain in the ass,“ he mocked you a bit, “Will you please just open it now? There are a few smaller things.”

As you ripped open the wrapping paper you let out a laugh, impressed by his first present, “A raincoat? I could’ve seen that one coming.”

“I still can’t believe you don’t own one. Look underneath, there’s also a shirt you can use for work so you won’t ruin your good clothes,“ he said, almost proud of his idea and it was adorable.

The shirt was grey and oversized - and also, there was a picture printed onto it. Jinyoung let out another laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to stop him from laughing harder, before you could see what was on it.

As he shined his flashlight on the picture you were not only extremely amused but also very amazed that he did that for you, even though he obviously was trying to be funny, you genuinely liked it - the picture was a selfie of Jinyoung, giving a thumbs up, right next to his favorite being on this earth, Bertha. Underneath the picture the sentence ‘(Y/n), you can do it. I hope.’ was written in big letters.

“You’re seriously the worst,“ you joined his laughter, wondering how in the hell he got this idea. The atmosphere was almost friendly – a new step for the two of you. Not that you didn’t like him before, you just thought that he didn’t like you back.

“I think you’ll look quite good in it, (y/n),“ he smiled proudly, definitely satisfied with himself.

“You’re such a flirt,“ you said sarcastically.

The last gift in the box really got to you though - it immediately brought back a lot of memories, cherished ones, of your childhood. An overwhelming rush of sentiment came over you as you couldn't believe your eyes.

“Jinyoung, I,”, you were looking for the right words to say but none came to your head, “is it what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s your old music box that played Somewhere Over The Rainbow over and over again, then it is, yes,“ he replied, playing it cool as if it wasn't a big thing.

You totally forgot about it until now, back in the day you always used to play it before going to bed, falling asleep immediately to the soothing sound of it – back then it didn't matter where you were: you wouldn't fall asleep without the petite woodbox playing your favorite song.

“Where did you even get this?“ you asked him, gulping.

“Oh, Minwoo gave it to me to calm the cows on thunder days,“ he said amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,“ you chuckled, still inspecting the music box. It seemed to be even prettier than you remembered it.

“Do you like it?” he asked, turning towards you, “I know how obsessed you were with it as a child so I thought you’d like to have it back. The cows didn’t like it anyway.”

Your eyes met his, not knowing what to say. He was so cool about it when to you, this might be one of the most meaningful presents you've gotten in a long time. The fact that he even remembered how in love you were with this music box and how thoughtful of him it was to give it back to you. Slowly you put the box down, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was probably stupid, for him it was just a simple present and you were overreacting, right? But still, it was so much more than you would’ve expected. Especially from him

“I love it, Jinyoung,“ you assured him, the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. “Thank you so much.”

Before he could say something to ruin the moment you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his collar. It took him a few moments to realize what was happening, a hug was something he didn’t expect at all, but it did feel nice. His arms carefully found your waist and hugged you back.

You could see how red his cheeks were as your hug ended but for once you decided to not tease him, not wanting to ruin a genuinely nice moment. The two of you didn’t have those very often.

“Shall we go home?” Jinyoung asked softly as he stood up, waiting for you to join him.

The two of you were walking for a while, way slower than usual. It might be the alcohol in your veins or simply the secret desire to spend some more time together, alone and outside of the farm.

“Be honest,“ you started carelessly, it almost sounded like you were singing it, “You do think I’m cute.”. Looking up to Jinyoung you saw that he was smiling and didn’t seem to care about your teasing anymore.

“I do think you’re cute. That doesn’t make you less any annoying though,“ he replied, his tone almost playful. As you were walking your shoulders were lightly brushing every now and then, a rush of excitement going through your body every single time.

“Now you be honest. You were totally checking me out when you saw me on the day you moved here,“ he countered, the conversation light.

You let out a small scoff, “I maybe would have if I hadn’t been to busy trying to free myself from your grip since you thought I was stealing your chicken,“ you snapped at him and Jinyoung let out a laugh at that memory. Even though it wasn’t long ago it felt like years, considering how much your relationship developed since then.

“Your turn. You would’ve gone home sooner but you were waiting to walk me home,“ the vibe Jinyoung gave you told you it was okay to dig a bit deeper.

“Now you’re just being overconfident, (y/n),“ he laughed and you thought about how his laugh is so different than his mum’s. His mother's laugh was light and charming while his laugh was deep and full of joy, almost bold and loud.

“If you say I’m wrong you’re lying,“ you insisted while looking up to the beautiful night sky, not letting loose. Even though you were a bit cold you didn’t really care, you could walk and talk for a few more hours without complaining.

“I never said you’re wrong,“ he answered quietly, now more soft and serious, “But don’t let it get to your head, I know my mum would kill me if she heard that you had to walk home alone.”

“You’re so in love with me dude, how gross,“ you joked, not able to stop your usual nagging. By now it seemed like that was Jinyoung’s and your’s thing somehow. It was an open secret that there was something between the two of you, whatever that was. Maybe, you and Jinyoung were still denying it but your friends weren't completely wrong when they talked about your relationship to each other.

“I really don’t know if I wanna shove you off this bridge or kiss your annoying ass,“ he stated shamelessly, trying to sound annoyed but his mood was just as good as yours and the cheeky flirting was something he missed over the last years. It’s been too long since he met someone he liked so much that he didn’t have to care about what he said. Spending time with you made him feel careless. The night air and the sky that was full of stars just loosened up the mood even more.

Even though your heart was beating faster at his comment you tried to remain cool – he said it so casually as if the topic of kissing you was something completely normal to him, making you realize that maybe Jinyoung and you were indeed becoming something more than friends, “Oh, can I pick?”, you grinned at him.

“No,“ he answered easily while pushing you towards the edge of the bridge you were currently walking on, making you gasp a bit, while trying to balance yourself so you wouldn’t fall over the low wooden railing.

What exactly was he doing? Just in the right moment, he held you, his arm around your waist, being a bit too close to you which was making your heart beat insanely fast. As you looked at him your eyes were opened wide, the shock written all over your face.

Jinyoung still was holding you close, giving you the brightest smile ever, his expression full of joy, “Did you really think that I’d let you fall?”

“Yes!“ you almost shouted out of shock, a hundred percent sure that he’d actually do something like that, “If anyone in this town would then it would be you.”

He acted a bit offended, as he pulled your body a bit closer to his again, your intestines feeling all over the place. Half of your body was still bent over the bridge as Jinyoung’s hold was the only support that stopped you from falling right into the water. His face came near yours and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on yours.

“Well, if you think that lowly of me,“ he started, before pausing his sentence, you could swear that you could feel his breath tingling on your lips and see his eyes wandering down to look at your them - but before anything else could happen you started losing balance as Jinyoung let go of your body, making you fall right into the lake behind you.

Of course, he’d do something like that. You should've guessed that.

As you came up again you were drenched. The water was at least still warm enough to not make you shiver while climbing up to the bridge again. Jinyoung was laughing wholeheartedly, his one hand once again covering his mouth, while holding his other hand out for you so he could help you. You immediately took his offer, taking a tight grip on his hand before getting your revenge – within seconds Jinyoung forcefully joined you in the water, his eyes popping out when you completely caught him off guard.

“I should’ve seen that coming,“ he admitted, now also completely wet but still amused, “I deserved that.”

The two of you were chuckling, no one of you seemed to want to get out of the water for now. “Remember the one time we were having a contest here about who can stay underwater the longest when we were children?” you asked him thinking back to older days, one of the few memories you had with him.

He nodded while walking towards you, leaning his back against the bridge. His body was close to yours, his face facing yours, “I remember you and Bambam being afraid because you thought I fainted because I let my body swim on the surface with my head under the water still.”

Hitting his chest, you squinted your eyes, “You were the worst, seriously! Why would you do this to me? I was so afraid.”

His arm found your hip, resting lazily on it - you wondered if he’d also do that if he was completely sober, “To make good memories.”

“Well, that’s also about our only memory because you always avoided me when we were younger,“ you stated, a bit salty.

His laughter sounded different this time, if you didn’t know better you’d almost say there was some kind of admiration in it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he apologized, putting his hands up in the air, still laughing before looking at you once again - it’s like you completely forgot about being in the water now in the middle of the night.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked you, whispering as if you had to be careful to not get caught.

“Always,“ you answered eager as your eyes widened in excitement.

“I avoided you because I had the biggest crush on you and Jaebeom always said girls suck and if anyone of us ever kissed a girl they’d be kicked out of the gang,“ he admitted, smiling back at the memory.

“Okay, but Jaebeom was literally my first kiss,“ you confessed to him, “I think he knew exactly why he told you that.”

Now it was Jinyoung who was in shock, not you. “You’re kidding me,“ he sounded offended, “I can’t believe he’d play me like this because of some chick.”

“Hello? I’m right here,“ you growled, shaking your head amused.

“Oh, I bet you’d rather be where Jaebeom is, huh?” he stared you down for a second before breaking character and starting to laugh, “But seriously, he never even told me. He knew I’d fight him about it.”

“It must be hard to always be as dramatic as you are,“ you scoffed, as you got out of the water again, starting to shiver a bit, “Let’s go home, I’m cold.”

He got out of the water too and you tried hard not to stare at his chest that was completely showing through his white shirt.

“You should have put on a jacket,“ he shrugged, acting as if it's your fault that you were completely drenched and cold.

“You little shit,“ you countered as the two of you were walking towards your home, “I’m only cold because you pushed me into the lake.”

“I had fun tonight,“ you admitted to him as you were standing in front of your door once again, “You’re not awful.”

“Thank you?”, he laughed unsure before he continued, “You’re also not awful, (y/n).”

“I mean, you were not the nicest in the beginning, I thought you hated me. But now, I think you tolerate me,“ you said, a winning smile on your face.

“Believe it or not, I think you’re pretty cool,” he mirrored your smile, nodding.

“I’ll let my diary know about that,” you assured him.

He just stood there for a second, looking at you. Both of you didn’t want to part, enjoying time with each other but you didn’t want things to get awkward.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,“ he mentioned, laughing while apologizing.

You rolled your eyes at his half-assed apology, “Yeah sure. You better make up for that.”

He nodded, “I will. Good night, (y/n),“ suddenly you felt him hugging you, not expecting it once again. Three hugs in one day were something you didn’t expect at all when you woke up this morning.

“Sleep well,“ you told him as you closed the door behind you, removing your make up, changing into comfortable clothes and letting yourself fall into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your lips. You were definitely making progress.

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A few days after your birthday and the situation with Jinyoung it was about time to talk to someone about your confusing feelings. Jaebeom was the first person that came to your mind, definitely not wanting to talk to Bambam about it. As the two of you were sitting outside on your porch, drinking a beer and enjoying the sunset slowly going down, you decided to tell him about what happened after you and Jinyoung left on your birthday.

“He gifted you your old music box?” he asked confused, almost shocked, “That’s so much better than the vibrator we gifted you, dammit.”

You let out a laugh, “Anything is better than that.”

“Well, apparently you won’t be needing it any time soon if you and Jinyoung continue to fall in love at that pace,“ your best friend gave you a small wink.

“Jaebeom,“ you let out a pout, “I really don’t know what I should do. He was about to kiss me by the lake but instead, he let me fall into the water.”

He was trying his hardest to contain his laughter as you told the story but he couldn’t help it, “You really think he’s the one you want? I bet not even Yugyeom would behave that awkward.”

Chuckling, you shrugged, “I guess I just like a challenge.”

Jaebeom nodded, “He definitely is one. Bear with him, it’s been some time. His last girlfriend and him broke up quite some time ago.”

When Jaebeom mentioned the word gilfriend you felt curiosity awakening inside of you, “How was she?”

Taking a sip of his beer, he glanced at you, a bit pitiful, “Are you sure you wanna do this to yourself?”

“I’m just curious,“ you assured him, „No hard feelings.“

Before Jaebeom could start telling you about her you were disturbed by your cousin, who just finished his work, a beer in his hand as he sat down on the free chair on your table, „What are you talking about?”

“My hopeless crush,“ you said, laughing.

“What else,“ he shrugged, unimpressed, “You could still date Yugyeom, you know.”

You shook your head before turning back to Jaebeom, “So, tell me about her, I can’t imagine him with a girl at all.”

“Are we talking about Elly?” Bambam asked confused, trying to catch up with your conversation.

“Yes.”, Jaebeom said, trying to start once again before getting interrupted by Bambam, also once again. “She wasn’t shit, (y/n). Don’t worry about her. I never liked her. They weren’t even really a couple.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, “She wasn’t all bad, Bam. She was actually quite nice at the beginning. She’s from the town next to ours, the granddaughter of the owner of the library - we were friends with her back then when she still visited every weekend. I guess she was into Jinyoung from the first second and he was, well, frustrated. So they became friends with benefits. Nothing too serious at first.”

“(Y/n), I really don’t get why you’d wanna know. You’ll just hurt yourself,“ your cousin seemed to worry, clearly disagreeing with your curiosity.

“They broke up so I won’t be hurt, I just can’t imagine him in a relationship at all. I need some information for research,“ you argued.

“He was a good boyfriend, I guess,“ Bambam thought about it, taking a big gulp of his beer, “Like he visited her often and made sure to bring her to every event or birthday. But one of them would always start a fight and it got so annoying over time. Every time he brought her I was afraid to say anything to him because if I only said one wrong word she’d start to discuss with him.”

Jaebeom now interrupted him, “Well, it wasn’t only her who started fights, to be fair. Jinyoung often enough started one too, whenever he was in a bad mood he’d always find a reason to fight.”

A scoff came out of your mouth, “I already thought he’d be one to pick fights, to be honest.”

“Speaking of the devil,“ Jaebeom nodded towards the house of the Park’s and as you turned around you saw Jinyoung jogging over to you. He seemed to be in a good mood, a smile on his lips, something rather unusual.

“Why are you having a nice evening and no one cared to call me?” he asked as he arrived in front of you, holding up a big plate with many different pieces of cakes on it, “I brought cake.”

Bambam immediately took the plate and set it down in front of him as Jinyoung sat down on the free seat on the bench beside you.

“We were just talking shit about you,“ Bambam started, getting up to get some forks from inside.

“Why? What did I do?” he asked, already sounding offended, ready to defend himself without knowing what even seemed to be the problem.

“I just told them about how you let me fall into the lake,“ you huffed, salty, not letting it go easily.

“Why would you do that?” he asked in a whiny tone, “Aren’t they teasing us enough already?”

“I don’t care about that. I still can’t believe you’ve done that. I could’ve caught a cold.”

He now crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You didn’t though, right? I brought you cake as an apology, just to find you hanging out with our friends, without me?”

Jaebeom let out a laugh at your constant bickering, “Young love must be so nice.”

“Be quiet,“ you gave Jaebeom a warning glance before you turned back to the real enemy here, “You think cake can just fix the trust I lost in you?”

He let out a laugh, “You’re being overdramatic.”

Actually, you couldn’t care less that he let you fall into the lake. It was just fun to pick fights with him, “You’re being an asshole.”

He scoffed before continuing your discussion in a mocking voice, “Wanted me to kiss you so bad that you can’t get over the fact that I didn’t?”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting his comeback. Jaebeom and Bambam were both trying no to laugh watching the two of you fight.

“If you think that, you’re truly delusional,“ you stated, even though everyone here knew he was right, “The only reason I didn’t kill you right then was because I was so relieved you didn’t kiss me.”

He snorted, not ready to give up yet, “Sure, just keep on telling it to yourself until you start to believe it.”

And this is how you spent the rest of the evening. Three of your closest friends, cake, one or two or maybe even more beers, a beautiful pink sunset and most important - in the place you loved to call your home.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

“(Y/n), give me a hand, please,“ your neighbor screamed from the other side of the farm, struggling to put up the pavilion that was supposed to cover the tables from the weather. It was a warm autumn day but you knew that it could basically start to pour any second. Quickly you jogged over to Jinyoung, leaving Bambam alone with the other preparations for the big harvest festival that was held once a year on the farm. It was a tradition you used to love as a child and you were more than happy to participate again this year.

As you walked over you couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing he looked once again. There was sweat dripping down his face while he gave you a light and exhausted chuckle, holding up one side of the pavilion with his rather strong arms. The white shirt and grey sweatpants he was wearing might as well be the death of you. Oh god, you definitely hated being attracted to him. 

“What’s up, Park?” you asked, desperately trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

He, on the other hand, continued to smile, shaking his head, “Can you please hold up the other side over there?” he asked, pointing to it, “I’ll do the rest.”

You went over and held up the other side, having to stand on your tiptoes. “Are you excited for tonight?” you asked him, desperate to make conversation with him. Even though by now Jinyoung was being very nice to you, at least as nice as Jinyoung could be, you were still always trying to make him like you. Even though Bambam and Jaebeom assured you he likes you quite a lot by now you still wanted him to admit to it. His attention was your favorite thing at the moment.

He shrugged while concentrating on a screw he was currently trying to get in, “Not really. It’s not gonna be different than any other year.”

“I’m here now so it is gonna be different than before,” you said, making him look up from his work for a second, his eyes finding yours.

“So, you’re going to make the harvest festival interesting again?” you saw the smirk on his face before continuing, “Don’t get up my hopes.”

“Share a bottle of liquor with me and I bet we’ll have a lot of fun,” you stated boldly, immediately embarrassed at your way too obvious flirting. At this point, you were sure that Jinyoung was very aware of your obvious crush on him - he was many things. Rude, annoying, sometimes even a bit mean but delusional wasn’t one of them.

“Are you flirting with me, (y/n) (y/l/n)?” he asked almost a bit teasingly.

“I am,” you said, trying to sound confident but you were pretty sure your now deep red cheeks were giving you away.

He seemed to be amused and he shook his head in what seemed to be joy. 

“Not bad,” was all he said, shrugging before his full attention was back on building the pavilion. 

You looked around the big farm as Jinyoung was working. It looked beautiful, there were a lot of tables with benches, all of them had some flowers and candles on top of them, you could only imagine how cute it would look as soon as the sky was dark and all the candles were lit. Bambam was currently preparing some baskets filled with eggs, milk, some wool, all different kinds of fruits and vegetables and even some feathers you picked up from the pond where the ducks stayed as a lucky charm - your uncle and Jinyoung’s mother would sell them later on, the people always loved those little baskets. Jinyoung’s mother was inside, preparing food for the night. She was overdoing herself, cooking four different kinds of soups, baking too many loaves of bread for the visitors to eat, she even has been baking all kind of cakes since yesterday night. 

“Your mum is an angel,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him but Jinyoung still heard you, laughing a bit.

“She just really loves the harvest festival. But yes, I agree, she really is,” he answered without looking at you, “There’s gonna be plenty of leftovers tomorrow, I’ll bring you some if you want.”

You nodded even though he didn’t see, “I’d love that.”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Gus, the owner of the restaurant, came up to you. He drove up here in his truck, the whole back of it filled with different meals that he contributed for tonight, “Where should I put the fish and meat?”

Jinyoung told you that you could leave and help Gus for now so you showed him where the food was being served. There was a long in the middle of the farm, where Gus’ and Mrs. Parks’ food was going to be sold later on. It was opposite to the little dancefloor your uncle built earlier, he even got a pretty good sound system for the night. You already anticipated seeing all of the older people dance later, it was always very cute to you. All the tables to sit on were placed in between the dancefloor and the food. 

As you were helping Gus’ to carry the food you saw Jaebeom and his parents coming up to you. It was a funny sight, seeing how much taller Jaebeom was than both of his parents.

“Hey cutie,” your best friend greeted you as he put down the three beer crates he was casually caring like they didn’t weigh anything, “How are things going?”

“I’m really excited for tonight,” you cheered with a wide smile on your lips, “My last harvest festival was years ago, I still had to go to bed at eight o’clock at that time.”

He let out a laugh, “Oh, that’s when the fun is just starting.”

You only managed to finish all the work an hour before the first people came to the festival. Within no time the whole farm was filled with people as the sun was slowly going down.

You didn’t expect so many people to actually show up. Not only the whole village was attending tonight’s fest but a lot of them also brought their family from out of town, a lot of faces you’ve never seen before. It luckily didn’t rain yet and you were hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. The sky was dark now and all the candles were lit, making the atmosphere cozy. People were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves, some even danced to the 80′s music that was playing already. You were sitting on the side of a table, just looking around and appreciating everything as a few of your friends came up to you.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” Yugyeom asked you, nodding towards the table with the food, “We were just about to grab something, join us.”

“Let’s also grab a drink or two,” your cousin, who clearly already had more than just ‘a drink or two’, his bright pink cheeks exposing him, shouted as he came up behind Yugyeom, Jaebeom and Jaebeom’s girlfriend.

Your mouth watered as you saw, and especially smelled, the food that was offered. Now you were very thankful that you didn’t have the time to eat all day. All the food looked amazing and you didn’t even know where to start. Jackson and Mark both went for the meat but you wanted to start with something more light for now, looking at all the soups Mrs. Park made.

“Try mum’s Italian wedding soup, it’s the best,” you flinched lightly as Jinyoung suddenly came up behind you out of nowhere, his arm casually resting on your shoulder. 

You tried to play it cool in front of your friends but inside you were all tense, just because of Jinyoung being so close to you. “I’ll have that then,” you agreed, telling his mother who was handing out food tonight. Both you and Jinyoung offered her to help out earlier but she insisted that you should just enjoy the evening.

“Of course, darling,” she poured some of the soup into a big cup, giving you and her son a wide smile, “You two look just adorable together.”

You felt yourself blushing but you were pretty sure that no one would notice in the dark. 

“Right? We’ve been telling them the whole time,” Jackson joined, excitement in his eyes, agreeing with his friends’ mother. You heard a deep, frustrated groan from Jinyoung.

“Guys,” he squinted his eyes at both of them with a warning glance but he still was resting his arm on you, not even thinking about removing it, “Can you mind your own business? Just for once?”

Jaebeom chuckled at the two of you, knowing exactly that you were trying your hardest to keep your cool, “You know they won’t leave you alone until something happens.”

He was right. But you weren’t sure if and when things would happen. And what those things even would be. When it came to Jinyoung you felt more clueless than ever before. Not even your math class in senior year seemed that confusing.

“Yeah, because no one in this town knows how to respect the boundaries of other people,” Jinyoung bitterly said through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed but everyone just let out a laugh, not taking him seriously, thinking it’s funny that he gets so worked up over some simple teasing.

“I’m sorry (y/n),” Mrs. Park turned towards you, apologizing, but you could still see a little amused smile on her lips, “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind at all,” you assured her, “Don’t apologize.”

“I’ll go and get us something to drink,” Jaebeom offered after he got some food, his lips already pressed against his girlfriend’s neck again before turning to you, “Save us a seat.”

You waited for the rest to get something to eat and wondered what was suddenly going on with Jinyoung, he wasn’t leaving your side at all which was pretty unusual for him. Last week he was still too afraid to give you a birthday present in front of the boys and now he was suddenly even touching you in front of everyone?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered for only you to hear as all of you were looking for a table to sit on. On the way, he let go of you but still was walking right next to you. Not that you minded, you enjoyed the sudden attention he was giving you, you just had to get used to it. 

“What for?” you asked him, shrugging lightly, “I don’t care if the guys tease us. They think we’re into each other, they won’t stop anyway.”

“Well, they aren’t so dumb after all, huh?” he still whispered to you, chuckling a bit as he turned around to the others, pointing to a free table, “Let’s sit down over there.”

This little shit was flirting with you. 

The soup was amazing. The alcohol was pouring. The atmosphere was loud and filled with banter and laughter. Jaebeom and his girl were making out in front of everyone in no time, literally being all over each other. Jackson, Yugyeom and Bambam were screaming along to ‘Come on Eileen’ playing in the background, doing those stupid fortnite dances to the old music, constantly motivating each other to do stupid moves and having the time of their lives. Mark was talking to his girlfriend, the majority of your friends still had no idea that they were actually dating and you wondered how they managed to keep it a secret in such a small town like this. You were just laughing, enjoying everyone’s presence - an evening like this was exactly what you needed, full of friends and possibilities to make amazing memories. 

Looking back at the fact that in the beginning, you were so afraid to start a new life here was ridiculous by now - this was your home, you were doing the thing you love with people you wouldn’t trade for anything. Not in a hundred years would you have thought that you’d find your happiness in this small town.

You carefully dared to look over to Jinyoung, hoping he wouldn’t catch you staring - you felt tingly, it might be the wine or the butterflies in your stomach but you felt so much comfort and happiness that you wanted to explode. The way he was laughing was making you go insane - you got lost in the wrinkles around his eyes and his side profile that seemed to be the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. It was so nice and rare to see him letting go, being completely relaxed and warm. The longer you looked at him the more you craved something deep down in your stomach.

It felt like you were in a movie, the world around you blurred and slowing down while all you could concentrate on was the guy next to you - the guy, that used to be so cold to you and opened up step by step, going from thinking you were stealing chickens to flirting with you in front of everyone. You secretly hoped that the two of you were figuring out the future of your relationship sooner than later, slowly growing impatient. It was obvious to anyone who’d spent only five minutes around you: There was an undeniable tension, a chemistry that both of you felt.

Still staring at him while everyone was laughing and talking he stole a glance from you, seeing that your attention was already completely on him. His features softened as soon as his eyes met yours and the big laughter on his face turned into a small but impactful smile - immediately you felt a rush of confidence running through your veins, your heart beating faster. You hated how you were literally melting for him but you knew exactly that you couldn’t fight it so you might as well let him in.

His eyes were still locked with yours, no one daring to break eye contact. You wondered how this moment could feel so intimate when there were literally 200 people gathered around you - it felt like you were all alone, everyone else was busy cracking jokes while the two of you were busy falling in love. Or at least that was what it felt like. 

He gave you a small nod before sitting a bit closer to you, your thighs now touching. “Stop flirting with me. I might just break my cool character and blush,” he joked, making you chuckle before the two of you brought your attention back to your friends who were currently cheering for Bambam and Yugyeom, both trying to down their beer faster than the other one. You shook your head, letting out a laugh at them being messy. Jinyoung’s hand sneakily rested on your lower back and you hoped it would stay there for a while.

Bambam finished first and laughed at Yugyeom, who was still drinking, “Oh, I can’t believe you thought you could win against me. I’m the king when it comes to drinking,” he bragged.

Jaebeom, who was for once breaking free from his girlfriend, shook his head at Bambam, “You’re overconfident. Jinyoung, finish him.”

Jinyoung let out a groan, “Don’t make me do this.”

“Let’s go Jinyoungie, I bet I can beat you easily,” Bambam challenged him, knowing exactly how to provoke his friend.

“Dude, don’t do this to yourself, you’ll lose,” Jackson yelled, “No one can beat Jinyoung, you should know that.”

“I trained. And Jinyoung didn’t show off his skills in a long time, I think you’re underestimating me,” he insisted, opening another bottle of beer and putting it down in front of Jinyoung.

“Bambam, take it easy. It’s your fourth beer in what? Twenty minutes?” you interrupted, “I don’t wanna clean up all alone tomorrow because you are dying.”

“It’s harvest festival (y/n),” he whined while opening another bottle of wine for you, pouring something into your glass, “You gotta start learning how we do it here.”

Jinyoung shook his head, letting out another deep sigh, “You have no chance against me,” he held up his beer and waited for Bambam to do the same.

Bambam had a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to give it his all, “I’m going to fight for your title.”

Jinyoung let out a laugh, “That’s cute. Much luck trying.”

All of you were counting down from three and the guys started chugging down the beer like it was a life or death situation. It was stupid and childish but all of you were enjoying it, rooting for Jinyoung. If all of your friends could agree on one thing then it would be that Bambam needs to be taken down back to earth every now and then.

You looked at him, your mouth slightly open. One thing you definitely didn’t know about Jinyoung was how fast he could drink. He always seemed like the most reasonable and mature guy so you were kind of taken by surprise to see how he downed the bottle in the matter of a few seconds.

“Ha!” he let out, laughing as he put his bottle down, “You’re a fool, dude.”

Bambam let out a laugh, shrugging, “Never thought I had a chance, just wanted you to drink a bit. Who’s the fool now?”

“I didn’t know you could drink like that,” you turned to Jinyoung.

“This guy used to get so wasted every weekend, he just acts all pure in front of you,” Mark exposed his friend laughing.

You raised your eyebrow at Jinyoung, “Oh, let’s see who can handle more then, shall we?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened surprised, not expecting you to challenge him when it comes to drinking, “You might regret that.”

“I don’t mind regretting a thing or two,” you poured the two of you some shots.

“That’s the spirit,” Bambam cheered, opening another bottle of beer.

Jinyoung and you were clinking glasses, “To Bertha!” he mentioned his favorite before both of you downed the shots, making a grimace as the bitter liquor went down your throat.

“That shit tastes horrible,” you stated, making him laugh.

“No one said getting drunk is easy,” he countered before immediately pouring you another shot, “But you wanted this. We can stop if you can’t take it, you know.”

“Definitely not,” you scoffed raising your eyebrow at him and holding up the shot glass, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

“Oh, don’t promise what you can’t keep,” he flirted amused, laughing at you before getting ready to down the next shot, “To you and me.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile, “Whatever that might mean.”

You didn’t know what was faster: The time flying by or your alcohol level rising. It was around midnight now and the night just started. All of you were still drinking eagerly, sharing stupid stories and daring each other to do even more stupid things. The music was loud and the older people were dancing like there’s no tomorrow while you were still sitting at the table, playing cards and taking videos and photos of each other.

Some other girls around your age joined your group, you didn’t know them but the rest did. It was a nice group of people overall.

You still were watching the elders dance, smiling to yourself as your uncle and Jinyoung’s mum were dancing with each other, seemingly having the best time.

“Aren’t they cute?” Jinyoung turned to you with a grin, his hand resting right above your knee, slightly squeezing it. You could tell the alcohol had its impact on him because he was getting more touchy by minute, his eyes sparkling. 

You nodded, feeling a bit nostalgic seeing them together. They always have been close, both of them lost their significant others early and were left with their children and a whole farm to manage. “It’s nice that they’re having fun. I wish they’d take a break more often.”

Jinyoung hummed in agreement, his thumb caressing your leg, “I’m happy Mum has Minwoo. They are always there for each other and talk shit about me and Bambam,” he joked, his eyes still glued to his mother.

He was clearly adoring their little dance while you were adoring him.

“He’s really grateful you’re here.”, you didn’t expect Jinyoung to be so serious, a new side of him showing.

“I like being here. Wouldn’t go back,” you told him as you put your hand on top of his, appreciating the moment.

His eyes met yours, not thinking you’d hold his hand in front of everyone, even though no one could see, “You do? I didn’t think you’d fit in or like it here at first if I am honest.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You were very vocal about that if you don’t remember our first encounter as I came back.”

He joined your laughter, giving you an apologetic pout, “I’m sorry. I was being a bit rough, wasn’t I?”

You nodded, “Didn’t expect anything else though. You never opened up towards me when we were younger,” you explained to him in a soft voice, you didn’t want to hurt him with your words.

“I just wondered why you’d move here. I thought it was stupid. What does this little town offer you?” he asked curiously, his eyes glued back to your family.

“This, for example,” you gestured to them, “It’s very heartwarming here. You might not realize because you’ve always been here but this town is full of love.”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyebrows a bit, “I bet the actual reason you like it so much here is this cute neighbor of yours.”

You scoffed at his confidence, “Oh, you mean that Jinyoung guy? No, he’s just too busy loving himself, I doubt he could ever make time to let someone else in.”

He opened his mouth a bit, acting shocked, “Didn’t you hear?”, he asked you, turning his body to you now to completely face you, “Everyone says he’s a total sucker for you.”

Playing along, you slightly brushed your knees against his, “I don’t think so,” you let out a sigh, “Last week he had the perfect chance to kiss me but instead he threw me into the lake.”

He grinned, not expecting you being so witty. “I’m sure he was just nervous and regrets it very much.”

“I wonder what your sources are. They don’t seem very trustworthy. You know that guy, he has a heart made of stone.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” he came closer to whisper in your ear, “He’s actually a soft man inside.”

“(Y/n)!” your cousin screamed over to you, clearly drunk, ruining your little moment with Jinyoung, “Let's go, dance with your favorite cousin.”

You sighed heavily, knowing that refusing won’t work even though you didn’t want the playful banter with Jinyoung to end. So a few seconds later you found yourself on the dance floor, jamming to the old classics with your favorite human in town. Jinyoung and Jaebeom might be close, but no one would beat your family.

The two of you danced around like crazy, exaggerating every move, having fun without any worries for a few songs.

That was until you saw Bambam looking over to the rest of your group, his eyebrows narrowing, a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes - his jaw clenched as he was glaring somewhere. You followed his gaze to see Jinyoung talking to a girl you didn’t know. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he didn’t seem very close to her, maybe even a bit uncomfortable.

“That little shit,” your cousin raised his voice, looking at you, “He better doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You threw him a questioning look, no idea what was going on, “What do you mean? They’re just talking.”

He shook his head, “That’s Elly. Elly and Jinyoung are never just talking.“

His ex. What did this mean to you? You didn’t feel jealous somehow. The evening was fine, Jinyoung was clearly giving all of his attention to you, the two of you weren’t dating, you didn’t even kiss yet. Of course, you hoped that this would change sooner or later, your feelings for him were undeniable at this point and part of you thought that they weren’t one-sided.

Before you said anything, Bambam was losing his temper, “He can’t treat you like this, (y/n). I’m going to talk to him.”

You laughed at his clearly drunken state, shaking your head, “No no, I can manage my relationships alone, don’t worry.”

He tried to look you in the eyes, failing slightly. You were pretty sure that if you’d ask him to touch his nose right now, he’d miss it by miles. 

“Why, of all people, Jinyoung? He’s too cold for you. I love this dude but I don’t want you to go through a hard time because of him,” he pouted, suddenly wanting to discuss your love life with you.

You knew you shouldn’t laugh, Bambam was being sincere and caring about you right now but his state was so fucked up that you couldn’t help it, “Let’s get you some water.”

Letting out a heavy sigh because you ignored him, he followed you to the Im’s table where they were selling drinks.

They immediately let out a laugh, “Oh, Bambam,” Jaebeom’s mother said amused at his clearly fucked-up state.

“Can we have a water, please?” you asked her as you held Bambam, wishing he’d stay still.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to convince you, “I could do a cartwheel without a problem.”

“Please don’t,” you laughed at his confidence, giving him the cup of water and thanking Jaebeom’s mother, “Should we go back to the table?”

He nodded and you walked over to your group of friends, handing Bambam over to Yugyeom. Looking around you saw that Jinyoung was missing. Just as his ex-girlfriend.

Of course, you couldn’t know if they left together. Maybe Jinyoung just went home without saying goodbye. Checking your phone to see if he maybe texted you just disappointed you even more. You hated that you suddenly felt so vulnerable. The evening was so much fun up to this point, the fact that such a tiny thing could ruin your mood completely made you feel foolish.

Not daring to ask Jaebeom if he knew where he went or if they left together, knowing he’d try to comfort you, making you feel even worse, you said your goodbyes to your friends, claiming you were tired and needed some sleep.

Walking over to your home luckily was only taking you a minute, considering that the harvest festival was held on your farm. The worst thing about all this was that you didn’t know how to feel. Technically, you had no reason to be mad or jealous, Jinyoung and you never did anything more than flirting. On the other hand though, you liked him, so of course, it hurt you that he was probably enjoying himself with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your head hurt from all the alcohol and overthinking. You wished he would at least have said goodbye to you. Maybe, after all, he wasn’t into you as much as you thought. Today would’ve been his chance to make a move otherwise.

Opening your door you almost got scared to death. Your heartbeat was going crazy fast and you were even more confused than before. Just as you accepted the fact that Jinyoung left the party with his ex-girlfriend, he was sitting on your sofa, playing games on his phones, waiting for no one else than you.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you almost screamed, still shocked by the thought that someone broke into your house at first.

He laughed, simply stating, “I know where your spare key is.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “But what are you doing here? Why are you just sitting on my sofa?”

“I wanted to leave the party. But I still wanted to spend time with you.”

 “What about Elly?” you blurted out, your eyes immediately widening after you asked, realizing that he and you never talked about her.

He looked at you in shock, “W-What?”, you never head him stutter before, “What about her? How do you know?”, the confusion on his face vanished a bit, sighing heavy, “Jaebeom told you about her, right?”

You nodded, “It just came up once in a conversation we were having. And when I saw you with her I just assumed you left with her.”

He laughed, looking at you like you were crazy, “Why would I do that?”

You shrugged, not having an answer to his question. “What do I know? Maybe you missed her.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d waste your time like that. And my time also,” he said softly, “Forget about her. She came up to me as soon as you left, trying to talk so I left.”

You nodded, understanding what was going on now, “So, you decided to break into my house?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want me to.“

“That’s not what I said,” you rolled your eyes. Suddenly, there was a pause. Neither of you were saying anything and you felt unsure of how to continue.

“Shouldn’t we clean outside a bit already?” you asked Jinyoung, trying to break the silence so you’d get out of this overwhelming situation. 

Jinyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be very relaxed, he almost felt at home on your sofa. He stood up, coming closer and closer to you, “It can wait until tomorrow.”

When he stopped, he was right in front of you, your feet were almost touching and if someone would push you at this moment, you surely would land on top of him, which actually sounded pretty nice to you. You nodded, trying to sneakily take a deep breath to calm down, you had no idea why you were so nervous. He’s by far not the first guy you kissed but he might be the one kiss you anticipated the most.

His hand slowly ran up your arm, then down again, giving you goosebumps all over your skin, his gentleness making you fall for him even more. His hand found yours and you looked into his eyes, wanting to drown in them as your stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

A small smile formed on Jinyoung’s lips as you locked eyes, not able to have a single clear thought. By now you were sure that tonight would be the night you’d finally have him where you wanted him. All for yourself.

Coming nearer, you felt his upper body almost touching yours, his head was leaning in and you saw him slowly closing his eyes as his free hand found your hip, bringing you even closer to him.

The moment before the actual kiss was already breathtaking enough. The mixed smell of his cologne and the alcohol the two of you drank earlier was making you feel dense. The touch of his hand was already burning but as his nose brushed yours slightly, a rush of adrenaline was sent through your whole body, making your stomach turn and you suddenly felt hot in places you didn’t know he had an impact on until now. It was rather quiet, the only sound you could hear was the muffled music from outside, but you couldn’t figure out what song was playing, only feeling the bass of it. Your heart was beating so fast, you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

But all those little and unimportant things around you vanished as soon as you felt his soft lips, pressed onto yours with the perfect amount pressure. The kiss developed from something shy and soft into the projection of what both of you had been craving secretly for so long in no time. No one dared to break the kiss, not wanting it to be over.

His hand wandered all over your body, from your hip to your waist, to your arms, to your neck, right back down to your lower back until he held onto your thighs.

“Jump,” he mumbled hectic, his voice deeper than usual, between your kisses, not wanting to stop.

“Are you sure?” you asked him carefully.

He chuckled into your kiss, “Never been more sure.”

So you did as he told you and jumped up, your legs now crossed around his hips as he held you up like it was nothing, deepening the kiss once again, your tongue playing with his. Being with him like this was more exciting than you ever could’ve imagined.

Your hand found the nape of his neck, burying itself in his soft hair, as he was carrying you to the sofa he was sitting on just a few minutes ago.

So there you were, on top of Park Jinyoung, straddling his muscular thighs, feeling a heat in your core that you haven’t felt in such a long time but missed so much. The way his hands were exploring your body while his lips were busy kissing every single spot on your jaw and your neck was making you feel like you were going insane, leaving you wanting every single part of him.

A small, rather quiet groan came out of your mouth as he pulled you closer to him, not able to suppress what you were feeling any second longer. He chuckled once more, clearly satisfied with the feelings he was giving you, before giving his attention to your lips again.

His one hand was now on your neck, supporting every movement between the two of you, as his other hand was resting on your hip, slowly making you rock back and forth on him, the tension in both of your pants growing.

Slowly, his hand started to wander under your shirt, to a place where you needed him desperately. He was caressing the skin under your shirt carefully, teasing while taking his time. You wanted nothing more than for him to move them upwards towards your breasts, giving you more and more. 

His lips were doing its magic on your neck again, kissing and nibbling on a soft spot under your ear as his hand slowly wandered up until his thumb finally found your nipple under your lace bra, the contact making you flinch a bit because of the intense feeling. 

He let out a deep groan, sending shivers down your body and an undeniable friction in your underwear grew, making you rock your hips into him once more.

You started to wonder if you were prepared for what was about to happen, the two of you were just starting and you already felt like a mess, wanting him so much more. But he took his time, enjoying every single second of you on top of him.

His hand was now kneading your breast, the pressure just exactly right as he brushed your nipple every now and then, already knowing its effect on you. Every time he touched your bud lightly you couldn’t help but moan.

You let out a small whine as your breast lost contact with his hand, not wanting him to stop. But as you realized that he was only stopping to pull up your shirt you were more than willing to give him what he wanted. Within seconds you were not only shirtless but also braless, as Jinyoung was throwing your bra away to the floor.

He studied what you looked like, wanting to never forget this moment. Leaning back on the couch you saw a satisfied smirk on his lips as his hand found your nipple again. He now was looking right into your eyes and you held eye contact with him, trying not to break it as you got wetter every time his thumb was caressing your nipple.

He enjoyed watching you trying to contain yourself for sure. The smirk on his lip was growing now and his glance was filled with a mixture of lust, adoration and mostly, anticipation of what was going to happen next.

You put your hand on his shoulder to support yourself as you started to dry-hump him, letting out a moan, a louder one this time, as you felt his erection under you.

“Shit,” he moaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

All of a sudden he stopped you from your actions, holding your hips down with both of his hand as he looked at you, frustration all over his face, “(Y/n), are you sure about this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we started.”

Your heart skipped a beat, appreciating his question but you immediately gave him another kiss, this time a bit softer, kissing him deeply, before whispering into his ears. “Don’t you dare to stop now, Jinyoung.”

You could hear his chuckle, his breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. “Thank god,” he said before lifting you up without warning you, making you scream a bit, afraid he’d let you fall.

“Be careful, you scared me to death,” you laughed as you were being carried towards your bedroom.

“You think I’d let you fall?” he said amused, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you countered, making him laugh as he arrived in your bedroom, letting you down on top of your bed - now you were under him, lying down as he was still sitting on his knees, taking in the view of your naked upper body right in front of him, for him only.

You did the same - and what a beautiful view it was. He was hovering over you, your legs between his as he was pulling his top over his head, throwing it away before unbuckling his belt as you were running your hand over his toned chest.

Not long until both of you were only left in your underwear. Jinyoung slowly removed your pants, before coming back up to you, supporting himself on his elbows as he gave you a deep kiss, adding tongue and caressing your cheek before looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile.

Jinyoung gave you a small smile back, his eyes soft, “I love that smile.”

Before you could think about his compliment, one that he never gave you before, before you could get flustered or say anything back he suddenly changed the game completely, fastly pulling your underwear to the side and sliding one finger inside of you while his thumb was rubbing circles against your clit.

Taken aback by his sudden actions, you let out a loud moan, almost a scream, making Jinyoung smirk a bit before his lips wandered down to your neck once again, taking his time with you as he pumped his finger in and out in just the right rhythm. You moved your hip into his movements as his lips kissed down to your chest, his free hand holding your breast while his mouth teasingly played with your nipple, licking it and twirling his tongue around it, making you a moaning mess already.

Your hand was lightly stroking his dick through his boxers, leaving you wanting more. God, the things you wanted him to do with you were unholy.

The way he glanced at you as he was kissing his way down to your core looked like living art. Your whole body wanted him so bad, just the thought of where his mouth would travel to next or how it would feel when you’d finally feel him inside of you was making you go insane. Never before have you wanted something as much and at the same time hoped he’d take his time before.

Arriving at his destination he let out a moan, definitely being into all of this a bit too much too. He started to slowly kiss your inner thighs, holding your legs up a bit, teasing every part around where you wanted him the most.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, wanting him so much more than you currently had.

He chuckled against your core, the warm air making you flinch, “I thought that’s our thing,” before licking along your wet folds and then adding another finger, his tongue giving all its attention to your clit.

The pace in that he was going down on you was making your knees feel weak. He looked so handsome, his forehead in wrinkles as he was concentrating on pleasing you completely, moans vibrating against you.

It didn’t take long for the two of you until you were having sex, the two of you completely concentrating on the sensational feeling for the next moments.

After you finished you laid down on your stomach, not able to really move, as Jinyoung let himself fall right next to you, giving your nose a small peck. He was not only out of breath but also still in trance of what had just happened, “I didn’t expect this,” he breathed, calming down from his orgasm.

You giggled a bit, “What? Us having sex?”

The smile he gave you made your heart race like crazy, his messy hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not complaining though.”

For a second you were lying there, letting Jinyoung catch his breath and calming down. You felt your legs shaking from the intercourse you just had.

“Feel my legs,” you ordered chuckling, his hand on your thigh in a second as he felt how much you were shaking.

“Glad you liked it,” he laughed before getting up, “I’ll get you a towel, be right back.”

As you were waiting for him to come back you realized what had just happened. After all the flirting and teasing Jinyoung and you actually ended up in your bed. The thought made you dizzy, but it could also be from the alcohol you drank. It seemed too good to be true.

Cleaning you up, you suddenly heard a laugh as he grabbed your ass, “I may or may not have left some marks. I’m sorry.”

You turned you head back, squinting your eyes at him, “You’re lucky no one else sees that part of me. The others would tease me to death about that.”

Slowly, he climbed back up to lay next to you, both of you on your stomach, his hand caressing your side, “Apparently they have a bet going on about when we’re going to end up together.”

“I’m not even surprised. Sounds like them,” you closed your eyes, enjoying Jinyoung’s affection, “This feels nice.”

He hummed in agreement before giving you a small kiss, his forehead resting next to yours, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Then stay,” you offered, still not opening your eyes. Jinyoung was getting a blanket, throwing it over both of you so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t leave. Stay here.”

“You want me to?” he asked, his hand now playing with your hair, “Alright, I’ll stay then. Sleep a bit, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I will, just give me one more kiss, okay?” you asked him, feeling yourself getting more tired by any passing second.

He chuckled as he came closer to your face once again, holding your face in his hands as he softly pressed his lips onto yours one more time, your naked bodies touching. “Good night, (y/n).”

Falling asleep, everything seemed too good to be true. Jinyoung beside you, his scent in your nose as you slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

As you woke up he was gone. First, you thought you had dreamed about yesterday's events but after a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t a dream. You got drunk, you had sex, you fell asleep next to him. And now, he was gone.

Standing up, you wrapped your blanket around your naked body, looking for the man that you spend the night with but he was nowhere to be seen.

Well, maybe it was too good to be true.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

It’s been five days. Five days since you shared your bed with Jinyoung. Five days and your goddamn sheets still smelled like him - or maybe you were hallucinating at this point, wanting just something that reminds you of him around you. The two of you talked to each other casually when you met on the farm. You said hi and talked about the weather. Shared awkward smiles. And that was about it. It’s not like he was cold to you or anything, he seemed to feel just as helpless and awkward about your drunk night together as you. As much as you loved the night and what happened, you definitely hated the aftermath.

Talking to Jaebeom about it didn’t help, sadly. While you appreciate that he always listens to you and is ready to give you advice at any given time, you still had hoped that he’d suggest something else than to give him a bit of time.

The current tension between you was even worse than the sexual tension between you before. You didn’t care if you and Jinyoung wouldn’t end up as a couple, of course, you’d like that very much and still hoped that things were going into that direction, but the two of you developed too much to just destroy the nice friendship you built because of feelings getting in the way.

So you decided to visit him that afternoon, feeling anxious as you were walking up the front porch of your neighbors. You barely remember how their house looked like from the inside since it’s been so long since you been inside. The front door stood open and you knocked against it, not wanting to be rude.

“Mrs. Park?” you called for her as you slowly stepped inside, looking if you could find her but there was no sign of her being home.

Walking up the stairs, you tried to remember which room belonged to Jinyoung until you were distracted by something odd and unexpected - suddenly your ears were filled with a beautiful but rather sad piano melody coming from the room on the back of the corridor. Curious, your feet walked towards the source of the sound, your heart suddenly felt heavy, the sad melody immediately managed to impact your mood, making you feel blue. A part of you wanted to turn around and leave Jinyoung alone, just like he probably wanted you to – if you figured out one thing about him over the last few months than it was the fact that this man was a complicated person, hard to read and even harder to talk to, but you decided to accept that. There were only two options: Either you’d work it out with him or you wouldn’t.

You stood in the open door, looking at the back of the man your heart wanted so bad, sitting in front of a big, wooden piano - for a second you couldn’t even believe that he was able to play such a heart touching piece of art, sitting in his room all alone. What a waste it was for him to play all alone, with no one around to hear. It made your heart sting for a second, at this point you liked him too much to go back. Just looking at him being at peace was making you crave to be the woman beside him. After all, he was Park Jinyoung, the one man that managed to surprise you over and over again.

As quiet as possible you walked into the tidy and light room, not wanting to give him a heart attack by creeping up on him but also not wanting him to stop playing. It was a beautiful sight, the way his hands were gliding on the big instrument so smooth and without thinking. You couldn’t see his face yet but you were already swooning over how beautiful he looked.

He looked over his shoulders as you cleared your throat, continuing to play even without paying attention to the keys, giving you an unreadable smile. You sat down on his bed that was placed right beside the piano as he stopped playing.

“Didn’t expect you to come visit me if I am honest,“ Jinyoung admitted, almost sounding shy. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly that he finally had to face the night you shared a few days ago.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be able to play the piano so skillfully but yet, here you are, doing exactly that,“ you countered in a soft tone, not wanting him to feel like you were mad at him, “That sounded beautiful.”

He chuckled and you were happy to see him relax a bit, “You think so? It was rather depressing, wasn't it?”

“Matching your mood?” you dared to ask him carefully, trying to address the whole situation somehow.

He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down next to you on his bed, “It’s my dad’s birthday today. He taught me the song I just played.”

His voice was full of love while talking about his father but you could hear the hidden sadness behind it. You didn’t know about that and suddenly, you felt guilt rushing over you. While you were wondering why he didn't try to solve the obvious problem between you and him he had something way harder to deal with. Looking up at you, he forced a small smile, “Mum and Olli are visiting his grave but I didn’t feel like going.”

Trying to give him any kind of comfort you nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line. You were surprised that he was opening up to you but as sad as the situation was, it was relieving you that he finally talked to someone about it. According to Bambam and Jaebeom he tried to avoid this topic as much as he could.

“Why did you stay here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going and show him your support. What you didn’t want was overwhelm him with questions, so you slowly started to see how comfortable he was around you.

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s such a sad place. I feel like we shouldn’t be sad on his birthday, if that makes sense. We should eat his favorite food and drink a beer and stay up too long, playing guitar on the porch. Mum and he always sneaked out at night on his birthday, taking drunk walks. They thought I didn’t notice but they were always coming back, laughing loudly. I miss celebrating his birthdays. But it’s hard to be happy on his birthday without him here.”

He laid down on his bed, his head right next to where you were currently sitting. You studied his face, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, not daring to look at you, the woman he hurt by leaving her after having sex with her. The sun outside was setting, leaving Jinyoung’s whole room in a golden light, his tan skin was glowing and his light-brown hair shimmering. While he seemed to be sad on the outside you could see that talking about the memories he made with his father was making him feel lighter. It was nice seeing him talking about his dad - they always have been very close, you still could recall that.

“I still remember him so vividly. He always gifted me self-made marmalade before I left the city and no other marmalade, literally not a single one at home was comparable to his,“ you shared your memory with Jinyoung, looking out of the big window in his room, admiring the sun, “He has a beautiful soul.” - When you came over you wouldn't have expected to talk to Jinyoung about his father but you knew that everything else, every problem and unsolved question, between the two of you could wait for now.

“I wish I was more like him,“ his voice was nothing more than a mumble, almost inaudible. The sudden craving to hold him came over you, to comfort him in your arms, to kiss him until he felt better. But you held back, as long as you didn’t talk about the obvious.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, daring to lay down beside him - luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The two of you didn’t touch or cuddled, you just were lying there, on his bed, having a serious and meaningful conversation.

“He was so kind and positive. He told my mother different reasons why he loved her every night. Even after a long day of work he still took his time and practiced the piano with me every night and then brought Olli to bed, reading him a good night story or playing him songs on the guitar until he fell asleep. He taught me so much but still, I could never be so full of love like he used to be.”

“You think too low of yourself, Jinyoung,“ you said determined, meaning it, “I don’t think you see how much your mother appreciates everything you do for her. She knows that you didn’t plan out your life like this but you’re staying here for her. And Olli looks up to you so much, you could do nothing to let him down.”

He shrugged, looking at you for a second, “I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

Feeling heartbroken about hearing him talk so bad about himself, your hand found his in between the two of you, linking it with yours, now it was you who didn't dare to look into his eyes, “Look at us then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked you, confused.

“Since I moved here you gave me so much joy and helped me everywhere you could. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me since I came here, complicated tensions between us or not,“ you meant every word.

He scoffed lightly, “I attacked you on your first day, made you churn butter and let you fall into the lake in the middle of the night on your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his words, “Well, yes. And I could still kill you for all of those things. But,“ you started, turning your body towards him to look into his eyes, “You also helped me calm the cows during the storm. You gave me the most meaningful birthday present I could’ve thought of. You brought me a basket full of my favorite fruits even though you still deny that you did-”

He let out a soft chuckle before interrupting you, “That wasn’t me,“ he insisted once again with a grin on his face.

“Sure, Park,“ you rolled your eyes at him picking up this discussion again, “You might think you’re being cold but you’re not at all.”

Now he turned to face you too, both of you lying on the side, looking in each other’s eyes. His brows narrowed as he tried to say something to you, the expression in his eyes seemed to be hurt, maybe even guilty.

A heavy sigh came from his lips before he closed his eyes, “I just left you. That morning. I just got up and left.”

Those words made you freeze. After all, you came here to talk about exactly that but it seemed so wrong right now, “We don’t have to talk abou-”

“I just left,“ he repeated, seeming disappointed with himself, “I never just left someone after having sex with them. There were people that meant way less to me and I still stayed the morning after. I am being a complete asshole to you all the time and still, you don’t hate me. You’re here, trying to make sure I’m okay.”

Keeping quiet was the only thing you could do at that moment. Jinyoung’s words seemed harsh but the tone in his voice sounded guilty. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything - you had no idea what Jinyoung was trying to say.

“Jinyoung,“ you finally started after a few seconds, his full attention on you, “This day is hard enough for you already. We don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be though. I know, I am pretty amazing but not even such a godlike man like me shouldn’t treat you like this,“ he joked but both of you knew it was his way of comprehending because he didn’t know how to handle the conversation you were about to have since he always struggled to talk about his feelings, especially sober.

“Why did you leave then?” you asked him the one question you asked yourself over and over again. There could have been millions of options in your mind. Maybe, he regretted it and it was just a drunk mistake. Maybe, the feelings you thought he had for you were just sexually. Maybe, he simply had to go and do something early in the morning. So many maybes that have gone through your head without any idea if any of those maybe’s were right.

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t,“ he bit his lip nervously, not looking into your eyes anymore, afraid to see your reaction, “Maybe I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted to know the answer. You felt many emotions when it came to Park Jinyoung. You felt happiness, joy, hope, possibly love. On other days you felt powerless, insecure and confused. What you never felt was being afraid. Pretty sure, you actually felt safe around him.

“I’m not as flawless and strong as I constantly try to convince you I am,“ he sighed, pressing his lips into a straight line, “I couldn’t stand to hurt you because of my own problems. But I still did.”

Slowly you nodded as your heart was sinking deeper and deeper in your stomach, “You’ve got to talk to me, Jinyoung. What are you thinking about?”

Jinyoung hated this probably even more than you did. He was good in so many things - he was a good friend, a better brother and the best son. He was an amazing cook and apparently, an amazing piano player. He could flirt like no tomorrow and crack jokes around his friends that would make everyone laugh. He could drink a lot and he could make your heart beat faster. There were countless things he was able to be and to do without any problem. But when it came to talking about his feelings and showing his vulnerable side he failed. You knew that just as good as everyone else but if he wouldn’t talk, you couldn’t continue to work on your relationship.

“I,“ he started but stopped, looking at you sternly while clenching his jaw a bit. His eyebrows furrowed and his expression looked almost pained, trying to find the right words, “I think that I loved the night with you. I did, really. But maybe, it was a bit thoughtless of us.”

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you regret it,“ you stated, trying to just get this conversation over with, hoping he couldn’t see or hear that you felt like he just put a knife in your stomach.

„God, no,“ his answer bursted out of him like a bullet before he started mumbling to himself, „I am truly terrible at this.“

You gave him a few seconds to gather his thoughts even though the silence was deafening. This wasn't how you expected to spend your first time in Jinyoung's bed at all.

„I like you, (y/n),“ he then spoke, determined, „Obviously I do. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope you do. But we were drunk and desperate when we had sex and I wanted it to be special.“

You couldn't help but pout at his helpless confession, adoring him even more than before. Within seconds all of your doubts vanished – as long as Jinyoung liked you too you would find a way to work everything out. Trying not to let your overflowing happiness show, you gave him a small smirk, „You thought about us having sex?“

Luckily, his body relaxed too, an annoyed smile appearing on his handsome face, „All the time,“ he scrunched his nose, his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

„So, what you're saying is that you ignored me for days because you didn't like the way it happened?“ you asked him, coming back to the actual topic.

Frowning, he sighed, „When you put it like this it sounds stupid.“

„Because it is,“ you insisted, squinting your eyes at him, „I thought you avoided me because you hated me or something like that.“

„I'm so sorry,“ he apologized again, his face coming closer to yours, „Apparently, I'm very bad at this.“

„So, what are we doing now?“ you asked him, feeling a bit anxious even though Jinyoung just told you that he liked you too, so you had nothing to worry about.

„First, I want to kiss you if you're fine with that,“ his fingers were drawing little patterns on your waist, „and then I'd like us to become something serious.“

Nodding, you did as he asked and gave him a kiss, his soft lips feeling just as good, if not better, as you remembered them. You felt something like butterflies in your stomach and you thought that Jinyoung would probably make fun of you if he knew how jolly he made you feel.

Breaking from the kiss, the most handsome man you've ever seen stared you down for a second, not saying anything.

„We should celebrate,“ he suddenly suggested.

„What do you have in mind?“ you asked him curiously, not once escaping his gaze.

„Let me take you out to dinner,“ his voice was sweet as honey and you were sure you never heard him talk in such a soft tone – it might be the rest of guilt he still felt towards you or the fact that now you officially knew about each other's feelings but you could get used to it. You wanted to get used to it.

„Right now?“ you asked him, wondering if it would be okay considering it was his father's birthday.

„I don't wanna wait a second longer,“ he smirked at his own cheesiness, getting out of his bed to get ready to go.

You joined him, „Stop being so loving. God, where did my cynical Jinyoung go?“

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, walking down the hallway with you. „This changes nothing,“ he gestured between the two of you, „You're still terribly annoying even if we're together now.“

„I could get used to the sound of that,“ you scrunched your nose as your eyes met before you repeated his words, „We're together now.“

Even though he tried to hide it, he was just as excited about the label as you were. You could feel it in the way he touched you and the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.

A few minutes later you were sitting outside of the restaurant in the heart of your city, the marketplace was pretty quiet as it slowly got dark outside, a candle lit on your table.

The owner of the restaurant greeted you, raising his eyebrow and smirking as he saw the two of you together. „Oh, what a nice sight to see the two of you here together. Is this a date by any chance?“

You let Jinyoung answer, not knowing if he was okay with telling people yet.

„It's still a secret so you have to keep quiet, please,“ he answered with a proud smile on his lips and you could swear his chest was sticking out a bit.

„What a pretty couple,“ he sang as he went back inside, giving you a bit of time to read the menu and decide on what to eat.

Even though it was almost autumn it was still warm outside – you loved those kind of late summer evenings. Without even having a single sip of alcohol you felt almost tipsy, the man opposite of you making you feel all light and smitten.

„This is the downside of living in such a small town,“ Jinyoung started, his skin glowing in the candlelight, „We have zero privacy.“

„I don't mind,“ you shrugged, „They're going to find out sooner or later. It's the charm of towns like ours.“

„I just would like to take you out on a date every now and then without one of the guys crashing it because they see us,“ he explained, „But you're right, it's not as bad here as I make it out to be.“

He took your hand that was resting on the table, caressing it with his thumb. Every touch you two shared make you shiver in anticipation for more. Even though you already knew you were head over heels for him you felt yourself falling deeper every time you touched.

Time went by way too fast for your liking and before you knew it you two had your dinner, your dessert and even some drinks afterwards. The atmosphere was light, both of you enjoying each other's company after not talking for some days.

„I don't want this night to end just yet,“ you pouted. Before you dared to take his hands you glanced around to see if Bambam was anywhere to be seen, not wanting him to disturb your peace.

Your new boyfriend, still a weird thought to call him that, nodded, „I can stay if you want to.“

Before you could say anything he fastly added, „I don't have to though. It's your decision. I can leave too.“

You gave him a weird glance, „You're acting like this would be a first for us.“

Not saying anything he almost froze in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, staring at your door. For a few seconds you mustered him, waiting if he'd say something but nothing came out of his mouth, which was pretty unusual for him.

„Oh god, you're nervous!“ your grin was a mile wide and you clapped your hands amused, „Park Jinyoung is nervous because of me. I can't wait to tell my diary about this.“

Frustration was written all over his face as he closed his eyes as if he couldn't believe himself. „Your diary must be full of my name,“ he mumbled under his breath before looking at you again, the satisfied smile on your face provoking him, „Stop making fun of me.“

As you were searching for your keys in your back he hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss against your hair, “Let’s drink some beer and watch a movie.”

Nodding, you stole a quick kiss from his lips and opened the door, letting the both of you in. 

“I’m going to get a blanket,” you informed him, “Get some beers, I’ll meet you in the couch in a minute.

„What do you wanna watch?“ he asked you a few moments later, one leg bent while the other one was spread out on your sofa, his arm spread on the back of it, just waiting for you to join him.

The sight of him comfortably sitting on your sofa gave you the most domestic feeling you've felt in a long time – he seemed to look even better than before somehow.

„Let's watch an animal documentation,“ you responded, sitting down next to him. The blanket you brought from your bedroom spread over the two of you, you dared to cuddle yourself up to him and he seemed to enjoy it as much as you, giving your head a quick kiss, your face resting on his chest.

„You're weird,“ he muttered, „Let's watch a horror movie instead.“

Giving him an unimpressed glance, you sighed, „How cliche.“

You could feel his chuckle going through his chest, „At least it would give me a reason to stay for the night.“

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, his glance already on you, „Why? Because you're too afraid of horror movies? Because I am certainly not.“

„I have such a brave girlfriend,“ he acknowledged in a sarcastic tone while opening two beers, handing you one, „Here's to us, babe.“

Clinking your bottles, you took a sip of your beer, „So, you're a babe kind of guy? Wouldn't have thought that.“

„I can call you asshole if you prefer that,“ he said seriously before starting to laugh at his own joke once again.

And with that, the rest of the evening was just as perfect as the first part. It was just you, Jinyoung, some beers and Netflix. Every now and then you shared kisses, sometimes those kisses were a bit more passionate and longer, turning into full make-out sessions before Jinyoung started to whine because he missed the plot of the movie you were watching.

“God, I’m so happy,” he told you softly as you were slowly falling asleep in his arms, relaxing completely under his touch, “I wanted this for so long.”

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You and Jinyoung managed to keep your relationship a secret for about two weeks. It took you only two short weeks to decide that it didn’t make any sense to keep it from them. Not only were both of you pretty sure that the relationship between you was serious but also, like always, none of your friends stopped their teasing, making it difficult to stay hidden because their eyes were always on you.

“We have to tell them,” your boyfriend looked at you, “It’s a miracle they didn’t find out yet.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his, “I guess you’re right. But they are going to be so nosey about it. I hate it already.”

It was a late summer Saturday evening, probably one of the lasts warm days for this year and Bambam decided to gather your friends and your family together for one last barbecue.

Walking outside, you linked your arm with Jinyoung’s, something you’ve never done before in front of other people. A part of you almost felt nervous to let the rest know.

“You’re ready?” he asked you, giving you a small wink as you walked towards the big table next to the barbecue grill. Your families were already sitting down on the big table while Jaebeom and Jackson were struggling to get the barbecue grill to work. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was still high but was about to sink, the warm summer breeze felt refreshing and the big table in the garden was full of drinks and food, from meat to salads to bread to vegetables. Jaebeom’s parents were there too, currently mixing some cocktails.

Bambam was the first to spot the two of you walking out of your cottage, giving you a confused glance, his eyebrows narrowed. He stopped telling the other a story he was in the middle of, wondering about the sudden skinship. Immediately, everyone turned their heads to where he was looking, wondering what made Bambam speechless.

As you arrived you said nothing, waiting for anyone to say something.

Jaebeom looked at you with a big grin on his face, “What is that supposed to mean?”, he asked, pointing onto your linked arms.

“You are fucking with us, aren’t you?”, your cousin asked suspiciously, “Ha Ha. Very funny.”

“No Bam, for once I’m serious, you replied, amused because he didn’t believe you, “Are you really surprised?”

Mrs. Park and your uncle looked at each other, a smile on their faces.

“Jinyoung, are you serious? You can’t trick your old mother like this, don’t make me excited for something that isn’t true.”

Jinyoung chuckled at his mother, nodding, “Don’t worry, mum. I’d never lie to you.”

Bambam still didn’t seem to believe you, “If you’re not kidding you gotta kiss,” he insisted with a sly smirk, thinking that he exposed you now.

You looked at Jinyoung, giving him a questioning glance, not knowing if he’d be comfortable kissing you in front of everyone. But he didn’t seem to care and just shook his head amused before he came closer to give you a short, but still very adorable, kiss on your lips, his arm now around your waist, before turning to Bambam, who looked like he was about to faint.

“Who do you think you are just dating my cousin without asking me for permission?” he yelled angrily, getting ready to fight Jinyoung.

You, Jaebeom and Jackson started to laugh out loud as Bambam started to chase after Jinyoung.

Sitting down on the table right next to Jaebeom’s seat he pinched your cheeks lightly, “Congratulations, finally trapped him, huh?”

You nodded, “Was about time. I was slowly going insane.”

“In a more peaceful minute, you need to tell me all about how it happened, alright?” your best friend said with a satisfied smile on his lips, “And don’t forget me now that you’re in love.”

“How could I ever?” you promised, laughing as Jinyoung came back to the table, out of breath from running away from Bambam.

“Your cousin is crazy, (y/n),” he breathed heavily, shaking his head, “Maybe I have to reconsider becoming part of your family.”

“Well, too late now,“ you shrugged as Bambam joined the table again too, a goofy smile on his face as he turned to you.

“So, I assume I can’t try to set you up with Yugyeom anymore, right?” he joked, sitting back down on his chair and opening two cans of beer, one for himself and the other one for you.

„You better watch your mouth,“ your boyfriend warned Bambam, giving him a warning glance.

A few hours later, the sky was pitch-black by now and the stars sparkling, you noticed that Jinyoung was gone for quite some time now and decided to go check up on him - you saw him going to the barn earlier.

As you walked over to Jinyoung he already noticed you but didn’t look at you yet. Instead, you only saw his back as he was busy giving Bertha some kisses.

“Oh no, don’t worry, Bertha,“ he talked to her, “You’re still my favorite cow, just don’t tell (y/n).”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing, “You’re trying to make me jealous?”

He turned around, acting as if he didn’t realize you coming on, “Oh no, (y/n),“ his voice was mocking, “You shouldn’t have seen this, I can explain, I promise.”

Laughing at his own joke, he came over to you and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Trying to give you a kiss, you freed yourself from his grip, giving him the cold shoulder.

“No, go and kiss Bertha, if you love her so much,“ you huffed and held your chin up high, trying to stay serious but Jinyoung wasn’t having it. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around you once again, now tighter than before so you couldn’t escape if you wanted.

Pulling you into a hug, he locked his eyes with you, a joyful smile on his still so beautiful lips, “You’re so annoying.”

Scoffing, you avoided his eyes, still playing hard to get, „I thought we're over the whole 'you're annoying me' phase.“

„Actually, each time I told you that you're annoying I fell in love with you a bit more,“ your boyfriend confessed, still hugging you tightly before smirking, „But you still were a pain in the ass.“  

You gave him a quick and small kiss before resting your forehead against his, “I want to spend the rest of my life annoying you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes closed. “Oh, that’s good,“ suddenly he picked you up, giving you no other chance as to hold onto him, your legs around his waist as he was holding you up, his arms tightly around your waist, “Because I want to spend the rest of my annoying life with you.”

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the end! if you read this whole thing i wanna thank you. this is my first long scenario and it took me a lot of time to finish it. of course, i have a lot improvement to do but i hope i could at least make someone happy with it. :)

[megalony]

She’s a good girl- Part 3

Here is the third part of my murderer! Ben Hardy series, I hope you are all liking this series so far, thank you for the lovely feedback.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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(Y/n) had a secret.

For once in her life, she had something that only she knew, she had someone that only she knew about. (Y/n) has a secret from all of her family that wasn't some petty little idea or present she was keeping secret for someone's birthday or for Christmas. She had something that was totally hers and not shared by Joe or found out by Cora or frowned upon or childishly praised by her parents.

Ben was her secret and (Y/n) could keep him all to herself without having to share or witness him being taken away from her like a new toy that Cora would always snatch away after a while.

Ben was someone that (Y/n) could message and smile to herself when he replied, he was someone she could call or go out of the room to take his call so no one would listen in or try and involve themselves like her parents always thought they should. He was something that was entirely (Y/n)'s, he was her boyfriend and she had no obligation to tell anyone in her family about him, he was hers and that felt so, so good.

When (Y/n) went out with him she either didn't tell anyone where she was going or she lied and said she was going out with a friend. When she went to his club to start work there last week, she didn't bother saying where she was going and it sent an exhilarating feeling flowing through her veins.

She had a job. She didn't have a boring job that was the same day in and day out like before or like some of her friends. When she started on the first day she was sitting behind the desk in reception, letting people in and out of the club, checking their membership and signing them in. The next day Ben let her do some of the books with him, checking the finances and helping sort out the wages and it was so fun to her, counting and writing the notes and making sure everything was correct and in order. Ben said she could do the stocks next week and order the new stock they needed, he was letting her try everything and see what she liked best.

She even had a lanyard and an ID badge that opened the doors in the club so she didn't have to be buzzed in. Of course, if her parents found this they would see where she worked- they would see that she worked, so she had the lanyard safely tucked into her bag down the lining so it wasn't visible or able to fall out accidentally.

"(Y/n), where are you tonight?"

Her father's voice brought her out of her thoughts very suddenly and she realised she must have been deep in thought because she seemed to have been smiling while her thoughts were drifting.

"Sorry, I was miles away." The smile on her father's face told her he wasn't complaining about her being lost in thought but they were about to have dinner so drifting away when they were going to have a conversation wouldn't be the best idea and (Y/n) knew it.

With a small, inaudible sigh, (Y/n) took the bowl of carrots and the bowl of mash potato and made her way from the kitchen into the small back room they called the dining room. The table was nothing large or grand, it was very dark brown oak in a rectangular shape that seated six people if they all squashed up together. (Y/n) placed the bowls down as her mother brought the beef and Cora brought in the peas and gravy.

Without Joe here for dinner it meant that everyone had one side of the table to themselves without having to have an odd number around the table. (Y/n) sat down on her usual seat with her back to the wall, Cora sat opposite her and their parents sat at either end of the table with Paul on (Y/n)'s right and Linda on her left. This was the usual set up but if Joe came round for dinner he sat opposite (Y/n) next to Cora with Paul on his left.

Everyone bowed their head when Paul said a very quick grace before they all leaned over to help themselves to dinner.

"My apprenticeship will be up next month and Tommy says that they'll hire me." There was a certain snobbish tone to Cora's voice that grated on (Y/n)'s nerve. She sounded so prude and the way she tipped her chin up and stuck her nose in the air made her seem like she was going to be hired as a lawyer like Tommy when she was only a glorified secretary in reality. For the first few months all she did was sit in on meetings and go get the tea but it made Cora feel like she was high up in society.

Even (Y/n) could see that her new job at Ben's club was better than being someone's personal assistant or secretary.

If (Y/n) wasn't the good girl she had been brought up to be and if she hadn't grown up biting her tongue to stop her comments she would have said something rude by now. She would have stated the obvious, that Cora only got that apprenticeship because she was dating Tommy and they were only going to hire her because of his persuasion. Cora wasn't the best at instructions, she got so confused with the simplest of things and she was a klutz, (Y/n) wouldn't hire her as a secretary. She most likely took down the wrong details when she was on the phone with a client.

(Y/n) knew she herself only had this job because of Ben but at least she didn't go around bragging about it. Apprenticeships were harder to get and Cora got one at the drop of a hat without even having to go through the interview process- which she hadn't informed their parents about to make her seem more glorified.

"Oh that's wonderful honey, you must be doing very well there."

The rest of the conversation seemed to blur in (Y/n)'s ears, she couldn't keep up with what praises were being thrown Cora's way or how she talked about her job that was positively boring to (Y/n) who had heard it all before. The little stories Cora had heard second-hand and not be told direct that she polished up as if she was actually meant to hear it. The jokes about the people she worked with and the compliments (Y/n) truly doubted she was receiving.

Cora was too fake for her own good.

"Well, aren't you going to say something to your sister? Don't you think she's done well for herself?" Linda nudged her elbow into (Y/n)'s arm to prompt her to say something. The way Linda pressed her lips together tightly and narrowed her eyes on her youngest child made (Y/n) shiver.

"Well done, I thought you did well just getting the interview and surprisingly getting the job in the first place." (Y/n) knew all too well that Cora wouldn't realise she was taking a jab at her actually getting a job but the way that Cora's face hardened when the interview was mentioned was enough to make (Y/n) smile sweetly.

She could feel her mother smiling and nodding her head, approving of her answer and her father patted her arm kindly like (Y/n) was so sweet and considerate. But Cora's lips were almost snarling and her head ticked side to side, silently telling her younger sibling not to even dare bringing up the interview again. The only reason (Y/n) knew about the interview situation was because Tommy had told Joe about it in idle passing, who then told (Y/n). It was something both siblings held over Cora when she got ahead of herself.

"Thank you, I have done well, much better than that boring job at the sweetie shop you had." Cora liked to refer to the corner shop as the sweet shop because that was the only reason any of the siblings ever used to go in there for.

"Actually, I have some news too." (Y/n) swirled her fork around her mash potato, feeling her heart pounding against her chest as she wondered if she was really going to do this.

One the one hand, this was going to raise eyebrows and not gain the best of feedback, (Y/n) knew this. She wouldn't be as accepted as Cora was once she told their parents she had a job. But on the other hand, it meant (Y/n) would be more free to actually go to work and to go out with Ben without having to keep lying or making them angry by just not stating where she was going. Her life was going to get a lot harder now Ben had walked into it, she should try and make it easier for herself where possible.

"Oh?" Paul leaned his elbows on the table, eating a carrot as he turned his head to look at (Y/n).

Sometimes it felt like her parents- or at the very least, her father, was trying to turn her into a protege. He was always getting her to help with church events like he wanted (Y/n) to follow in his footsteps or grow up to work within the church. As much as (Y/n) had her faith, that was all it was. Her faith was not going to be her life. Linda was more making (Y/n) into a little doll, dressing her up, parading her around, she wanted (Y/n) to be something she could be proud of, to do well but also to be the good girl that went places.

(Y/n) didn't know where she wanted her life to go but she knew that it was not in either of those directions.

"I got a job."

(Y/n) pressed her lips together as she waited for their reactions. Linda didn't say anything but the way her eyes narrowed and her lips parted showed she wasn't jumping for joy like she was when both Joe and Cora told her about their jobs. Paul on the other hand was smiling with intrigue, wondering why (Y/n) didn't tell them she was even applying for a job or thinking about getting a job so suddenly.

When her eyes looked across at Cora, the elder daughter had confusion in her eyes and thunder on her face from (Y/n) taking away the conversation from her.

"You... where?" Cora shook her head, holding her fork in the air like a wand as she looked very surprised and like she was going to snort in disbelief.

"Now don't be like that Cora, this is great news. Where do you work, honey?" Paul rubbed (Y/n)'s hand for a minute, his smile very calming and his support meaning a lot, even if that support would disappear if she told him the truth about where she worked and how she got the job.

(Y/n) made sure the smile on her face didn't waver or disappear as she thought hard to think of a job she could tell them that they would be happy and content with. She couldn't tell them the truth and being vague wouldn't work but if she said she worked in a gym they wouldn't be pleased. They would tell her to aim a lot higher than that and (Y/n) didn't want their lectures or disappointment tonight. She knew her father was one step away from persuading her to get a job working with him in the church and that was the last thing she wanted.

She tried to think what other businesses were close by to the club to give herself a fake job. (Y/n) would be going in that area anyway for work so if anyone ever offered her a lift or saw her round there they wouldn't question it.

"I'm interning at J&C in town... for journalism and reporting." The lie rolled off (Y/n)'s tongue so quickly she felt the cross hanging round her neck burning into her chest. 

It was the first thing that came to mind when she thought about any businesses that were near Ben's club. It was two streets over from the edge of the town where Ben's club was but it was somewhere that none of (Y/n)'s family would go near and it wasn't somewhere they could pop in to see how she was doing if they ever thought of going that far.

"Really? Oh, my girl's going to be a reporter..." Linda trailed off as a smile formed on her lips, she seemed to be nodding to herself as she spoke. This was a career path that she would agree with, she could boast that her daughter was a reporter or a journalist, it was respectable and if (Y/n) even had this job it could give big opportunities.

If only it were true.

"That's certainly a surprise, but it's lovely that you've gotten yourself a job honey. I hope you're still going to help out at the church though." Paul smiled encouragingly before he went back to finishing his meal.

"Of course I am."

(Y/n) could feel the guilt and the pain pooling in her stomach a the thought of keeping this lie going and how it would progress. If only her family were more understanding of her and more encouraging, if only they didn't care about any high class jobs or how they could boast about their children or about making sure (Y/n) was a proper good girl. Their angel as they always used to call her.

If their family were a bit more relaxed and laid back then this would be so much easier and (Y/n) could find it in herself to tell them the truth and to tell them about having a boyfriend.

But Paul was high-achieving. He became a Reverend when (Y/n) was six and they moved to this church and it was a high status in the religious world. It made him want his kids to strive for the same high achievements, even if they didn't get involved in the church with their jobs he still wanted them to be high up. Joe was always going to be the favourite in both parent's eyes in the sense that he had a high praising job but he didn't choose to be an officer just to please them, it was what he wanted to do. Cora was pretending to be high in society and they were going along with it and praising her.

And (Y/n) was their protege, she was their angel they were raising to be such a good girl and they wanted her to score big. Working in a gym that doubled as a backstreet business, working and being in a relationship with the murdering manager was not something they would take lightly.

She would be disowned for choosing this way of life.

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"What's the long face for, doll?" Ben turned his head to glance at (Y/n) sitting in the passenger seat on his left. He noticed she seemed a bit quiet today at work but she seemed even quieter and more shut down now.

"I told my family I was interning at J&C." (Y/n) blurted the words out very quickly but when Ben looked back over at her, she was looking down at her hands that were tightly clasped together in her lap. He could faintly see a glimpse of a smile on her lips but (Y/n) turned her head to look at him in shock when he laughed. (Y/n) soon realised that Ben was very stern and cold when he was at work, except for when he was with her and showing her around, everyone else at work seemed to fear him.

But around (Y/n) Ben was laid back and relaxed and he laughed a lot more around her. He didn't intimidate her like he did everyone else, (Y/n) was nervous around him but she was still at ease and calm around Ben, so much so that she still couldn't fathom how he could hurt people with the way he was so sweet and affectionate with her.

"The religious folk don't agree with working in a boxing club, huh?"

Ben leaned his chin on his right hand with his elbow resting on the door as his left hand loosely held the steering wheel he had full control over. He couldn't blame (Y/n) for lying and it didn't anger him in any way, he knew how oppressed she seemed to be in her family and if she lied to them about him and him being in her life it only showed how controlling they were and also how much she liked him. Surely she wouldn't lie about him if she didn't particularly like him very much.

"My whole family is high-achieving, I don't think working in a gym slash boxing club is as high up as they would like for me. And if I told Joe he would know I was seeing you and he'd tell my parents."

"Ah well, our little secret then."

"You... you're not mad, that I lied?" (Y/n)'s heart jumped into her throat when Ben reached over and held her hand reassuringly as he tried not to laugh again.

"Baby why would I be mad? I'm sorry but I don't really fancy meeting your folks, at least not right now. What you choose to tell them is up to you, I'm just pissed that they smother you to the point you have to lie to them."

It didn't bother Ben that (Y/n) didn't tell her family about him, he wasn't hoping to meet them anytime soon. Ben wasn't religious and something told him her parents wouldn't be happy with (Y/n) being with someone who was atheist. Nor did he fancy getting to know people who raised their children in such smothering and strict ways that made them terrified to do anything they really wanted. Ben couldn't meet Joe either unless he wanted a fight to start and Cora didn't sound like the best of sisters.

Being (Y/n)'s secret made Ben happy, it made him feel like he had some kind of power over her family and it just did something weird but good to his heart to think he was special enough to her for her to keep to herself like this.

"Take me somewhere else."

"What?" Ben chuckled through the word as he looked over at (Y/n) again, biting his thumb in a way that made (Y/n)'s heart skip a beat. She turned in her seat to face him properly, letting go of his hand when he moved to grab the gear stick, still confused as to what she was talking about. He was meant to be taking her home. Ben said that whenever (Y/n) was at work he would finish the same time as she did so he could drive her home instead of her either walking or getting the bus since she couldn't drive and didn't have her own car yet.

He had so far been dropping her off at the corner of the church so her family wouldn't see him or his car and they wouldn't suspect anything. Ben pulled up at the side of the church, turning so he could look at (Y/n) with a bright but intrigued smile. It was six in the evening, Ben knew her family would be getting worried if she wasn't home soon.

"I don't want to go home, I'm eighteen I can go out and be with you and do what I want without having to tell them anything. Take me somewhere, surprise me, please?"

(Y/n) shouldn't have to tell her parents every move she made and every place she went to and who with. She wasn't a child or a little girl anymore, she was her own person and she wanted to do whatever she pleased. Ben was helping her out of her shell and she wanted him to help her now. If he had nowhere to be and nothing else to do, she wanted him to drive her anywhere and stay out with her. She wouldn't call her parents and tell them anything, she would be rebellious.

Leaning over the gear stick and arm rest between them, (Y/n) skimmed her hands over Ben's neck as she leaned her forehead against his own, her bright eyes pleading with him when she didn't have to.

The mischievous grin on Ben's face told her he had agreed the moment she asked and he already had somewhere in mind to take her. Ben closed the distance between them and pressed a fierce but loving kiss to her lips before he pulled back, grazing his hand over her hip before he motioned for her to sit back in her seat.

"Your wish is my command, doll."

Anticipation and adrenaline coursed through (Y/n)'s stomach and chest and Ben could see her squirming in her seat out the corner of his eye and it made him grin like the Cheshire cat. He could see the smile on her lips and the way her eyes were lighting up as she looked out the window, unsure where they were going but she liked not knowing. She like the feeling of surprise and wonder, curious as to where Ben had thought of to take her so suddenly.

Just less than twenty minutes passed of music filling the car and silent smiles being exchanged before Ben finally pulled to a stop. He took off his belt and turned to look at (Y/n), wanting to see her reaction. He watched the confusion, surprise, excitement and wonder flood her eyes before she turned to look at him.

"Where are we?" He could tell by her voice that she had an assumption of where they were but she thought she better get some clarification.

"My house. I know you don't really go out too much, this way there won't be anyone else hanging around and you can feel more relaxed, have a drink."

It was Ben's turn to be surprised when (Y/n) leaned over and kissed him before she practically jumped out of the car and headed over to the front door, waiting for Ben to catch up. The thought of Ben taking (Y/n) to his own home didn't even cross her mind but it was better than anywhere else she could have imagined.

Bringing her here meant that (Y/n) wouldn't be overwhelmed in a restaurant or a bar or a nightclub since she didn't go out to those places very often. It also meant she could feel comfortable and she could relax and be alone with Ben, they could watch tv and have a drink or watch a movie. (Y/n) could finally see where Ben lived and it made her feel like much more of an adult rather than the child her parents pretended she was. She would love to move out and have a house of her own and being in Ben's home would make her feel like they really were a couple.

The thought of Joe clawed at the back of her mind but the thought disappeared almost as soon as it entered her mind. Joe wouldn't want her to go into the house of a murderer, especially when no one else knew she was here. But (Y/n) would take the very slim chance that Ben would hurt her because she wanted to be with him and she very much doubted he would do anything to hurt her.

When (Y/n) stepped inside Ben's house she felt her eyes become saucers and her heart jump in her chest as she took the time to look around. She didn't really know what she was expecting Ben's house to be like, maybe nothing on the walls, no family photos hanging around or specific or classy wallpaper. (Y/n) couldn't imagine Ben living in a house with paintings or any special frames hanging around the house to add a homely feel or any decoration.

But when she looked around, she saw the wallpaper was a mix of grey and black stripes in the hallway and when she ventured into the living room the walls were painted grey and there was one feature wall with black and white pictures of famous places with lightning in the background. His house looked very well designed, (Y/n) somehow didn't think he would care to have it look anything special considering how much time he seemed to spend at the club rather than at home.

Looking back into the hall, (Y/n) followed Ben down into the kitchen that had black marble counter tops and grey tiles on the walls.

"Would you like a drink?"

Ben rested his hands on the counter tops, arching his back a little as he looked over at (Y/n) with a smile when she nodded. He didn't know if she would go for alcohol or not but if she did, he couldn't guess what her drink would be.

"Surprise me." (Y/n) pressed her lips together to stop her smile from spreading too wide as she watched Ben think for a moment before he wandered over to the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of wine she couldn't quite read the label of and two glasses, showing it to her for her confirmation before he poured the glasses.

Ben watched with delight when (Y/n) studied the drink for a moment and smelled the strong wine before she dared to take a sip. There was a bitter, sour taste to the wine that seemed to change taste when it slipped down the back of her throat but it wasn't unpleasant, it was rather bittersweet. (Y/n) took another sip of her drink, watching as Ben drank a rather large gulp of his own before a thought dawned on (Y/n).

"Does this mean I should be walking home tonight?" (Y/n) tipped her head in the direction of Ben's drink with a small smile on her lips.

She set her glass down when Ben placed his on the counter before he walked over to her. His arms easily slid around her waist like snakes wrapping around her and pulling tighter so he could reel her closer. Once she was pulled flush against him, Ben leaned down until their foreheads were touching and the closeness sent shivers up and down (Y/n)'s spine.

"Who said anything about you going home tonight? Why don't you stay here with me, it'll get you even with your folks... and I really don't want to let you go tonight.

(Y/n)'s breath hitched in her throat when Ben's lips moved until they were pressing against her jaw before they kept trailing lower. He kissed down her jaw and then down her neck, nipping at her skin as he went which he could feel becoming flushed under his very light touch. (Y/n)'s breathing stopped and a squeak passed through her lips when Ben's hands travelled round from her waist to her ass. Her hands held his shoulders in a bruising grip that almost matched his own as she tried to process what he was saying and form some kind of coherent response.

She didn't want to go home tonight.

What better way to get her parents to see how grown up and independent she was than to stay out all night without informing them? A small part of (Y/n) would feel guilty if she didn't let them know that she was staying out or at the least that she was okay, but she wanted to stay with Ben. She had been smothered all her life and told how much of a child she was and she was brought up to be a good girl. But she didn't want to be a good girl, she didn't want to be an angel, she wanted to be different.

"Will you stay with me, baby?" Ben whispered the words in between kisses as he started a trail back up her neck until he could press a bruising kiss to her lips causing (Y/n) to moan quietly against him.

"I don't want to go home." (Y/n) barely managed to get the words passed her lips before Ben was back to kissing her, unable to stop himself from smiling into the kiss. His hands moved down to hold the back of her thighs until she got the message and pushed up so he could pick her up and hook her legs around his torso. He pressed her back against the wall next to the door between the kitchen and the hall, making sure (Y/n) wasn't about to slip down as he pressed his body into hers so he could feel every ridge and edge of her body.

"Good girl." (Y/n) closed her eyes and tipped her head back when Ben kissed the corner of her mouth.

Somehow, when those words fell from Ben's lips instead of her parent's, it felt like the best nickname in the world.

[jflove]

Taekook/Vkook: From things I gathered so far

First of all, it’s just my thinking, I could be wrong. So if im wrong, then just think of this post as a fanfic. So, I started listening/watching BTS just this week. Yeah i know, very late for the party. but i dont usually listen to K-pop, so I came across them simply because they’re everywhere recently. 

They amazed me like most of the world right now, i started to watch their interview or v-live vids just to know them better. 

Then i saw a old news about they almost break the group in 2018, i was really shocked, so i watched the 2018 festa, heard that V talked about Suga write a long massage to him and end with I love you. then Suga said he also sent to another person. 

then Jungkook raised his hand.

i found it a bit weird why he didn’t say it earlier, wait till Suga pointed out another person? But i didn’t think into it. the news commented that Suga cared for the two youngest members, and said the almost disbanded reason was pressure from the fame.

Then i came across those Taekook vids, lots of them with detail analyse, those were too many i can’t repeat. i grow up with Japan’s boy groups, those were K-pop’s beginning, so im no new to those fan service behavior. But I really feel this wasn’t the case.

The first one really bring up suspicious, is when Jimin asked if JK was happy, then JK said yes and thank fans.

I was really shocked to see that, because Jimin actually lower his voice, it doesn’t sound like a joke. 

And also JK’s answer... i have to say hes not the best improviser on cover up. He stop for a sec then said something in a weak tone....

He didn’t ask why Jimin say that or anything, like a normal person been wrongfully accused. Just really nervous laughing.

Cute, but boi.

Then theres that famous sleeping together on a boat:

And also those v-live busted:

Jungkook wasn’t wearing clothes when V came, but they exchanged some shady text before. So theory was probably V told him hes coming but didn’t say he would bring the cam, so... poor JK.

Anyway there are lots of them, so im not gonna go threw everything. Just my theory: I would guess they probably started just good friends, they both has the same weirdness, and similar age. And JK said he think V really good looking a lot from the beginning. V would pet JK like a puppy and hug him every chance he got.

Though other’s like the little bro too, but clearly they were the closest.

And most of all, V likes(or needs) to hug something to sleep, and little JK didn’t like sleep alone. So they just naturally sleep together all the time. And other hyungs were used to it. they know each other more than any other members too.

 at first I guess they started to make out around 2017, but now i think probably 14-15. I have to keep changing the timeline earlier because more i dig, more i think it happened very early. 2013 When the group started, Jungkook looked so shy and everyone teased him. V’s teasing a bit different, more intimate or inappropriate even. Like the pic above, JK often looks shy and tries to get away. There’re also a vid (I forgot where i saw it) everyone sit down talking, V held JK under his arm and grabbing his nipple, JK looked so uncomfortable and low key tried to get away.  But that dynamic soon changed, JK suddenly more confident, can tease back, and possessive of V. i think they started to make out during that time. explain why JK used to so awkward when V teased him, because he got aroused by those joking behavior and embarrassed. But after confirmed that the feeling was mature. He’s all exciting and totally in love. But I don’t think they really consider the other one as lover till 2016, could be when V left the group for the movie shooting, the separation made them realized their own feeling. if i can be a bit pervert, i would say before that could just jerking, making out, normal stuff. but 16 or 17 are the time they really doing it and become lovers.

this vid was form 03.24.2017, i saw it from other people’s great vid. pls go watch it, so informational. In this vid you can hear some kissing sound. I used to think this time was they first build up the real sexual relationship so they couldn’t control themselves. But now i think maybe because company were(are) pressing them, so its their way to get back. So as those sneaky tease, it’s their way to express their feeling under the company rules.

Maybe at first was boys fooling around, but it turn to real general love very quick. It’s not just some dazed and confused, they supported each other in a high pressure industry full with adults. Train together, work together, live together. That would definitely create a strong bond. And I believe them made each other grow a better person. V becomes more thoughtful, discovered his ability on dancing, singing, and song writing. And the very capable JK becomes more caring, confident, and found his mental support he can always rest his head when he really tired.

The another shock for me was the behind scene of Winter Bear.

first of all, JK isn’t in the credit so why was he there lol? Second, that phone lol. JK’s symbol is rabbit. so no matter who that phone is all quite suspicious.  Although there’re some camera sound, but it doesn’t looks like another person was shooting, the sound and camera shift could edit in. or just ask the camera person leave the camera after couple shoots. Anyway, i think the camera was on the bed was the tiny movement matched their move so it could be just mattress bouncing. But the important thing i want to talk about was this:

That damn boi was freaking jerking off right?! His top all opened up, his left hand was under the cover, and there were some tiny panting and chest movement... i watched like at least 20 times, its gotta be. And there’s a cut couple sec later, changed to JK singing winter bear with a smirk face.

cus he freaking knew the song is about him.  yeah. I think V made that song cuz JK. He said before that JK really hates people waking him up. so i guess kinda like a bear?

 Then there’s the walking with JK’s dog scene. Before the behind scene came out, people argued about whether JK was involved. But now, yeah, i would say he probably the person filming since he already filming V a lot on his personal account “golden closet film“... do i even need to say anything about the name?

Back on the bear. 

V only held one bear, and the finishing had two bears.

Two bears, how could that be any more obvious?? Two bears, two boys likes to sleep together. do the math.

do you even wanna talk how close he and the person filming? don’t think a professional would film like this. and the look in V’s eyes, the tiny smile on his lips... im tired to go over this, why do i even need to point out? use your eyes.

So, conclusion, I think they were in love since 2017. And the other members all know about it. There are so many slips i wouldn’t gonna talk about it. it’s already a super long post.

Next, it’s the interfering phase. 2018. 

Anyway, Korea is not a gay-friendly country. And they have mandatory military service, which V and JK haven’t done. if you’re gay in Korea military, you could face jail time. And not to mention coming out in anywhere would be hard. The company started to separate V and JK, they won’t be in the same vid, even arrange different schedule for them. If it’s a group activity, then they couldn’t stand next to each other without others cut in-between.

I imagine its not a great job for the hyngs, probably why they talked about disband. Yeah, I went back to the first question i got and finished my quest. i think i found the real reason. and it explains why-->

See when Jin said it, V was looking at another person on his right side with that intense look, tell me that's not a look you look at someone you love but couldn’t be with.

And V all broke down, finally JK couldn’t watch it anymore.

I can’t find a close up, but i remember seeing in some other vids. JK was holding his tear and put on a calm face but you can see how hard he gritted.

it’s hard to find because they all got ban by the company. maybe my post would too... i heard there was a vid on YouTube point out the same thing and got ban by bighit. so... anyway. if you think im right, you can make a copy of my post and re-post it. don’t worry about copy my words, i don’t mind. if a lot of people did the same thing, then there would be no point to ban.

IM NOT DOWN HERE!!

That’s talk about this v live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfHecRN_dLk

if you didnt watch it, go find it on youtu. This vid are so... all over the place. I didn’t understand till some great analysis (see the link above). i couldn’t go throw all the details why how or what... if you don’t believe, why you even read till here? 

Simply says, company wanna hide that JK and V was staying in the same room, so they probably ask V to leave the room, but V came back in the middle, everyone was super awkward, so Jin and Jimin left. V looked sad and pissed. He wouldn’t leave, so company sent someone to ring the bell, and told JK to ask V to leave.

see how uncomfortable that JK had to ask V to leave. i feel so bad for them both, had to follow those company stupid rules and pretend their relationship. How would that feel when you have the love one so close to you, but you can’t touch, can’t hold each other, can’t even say how important that person meant to you.

They’re in their 20s! they should be having fun with each other, posting those sweet pics and showing off their boyfriends, having the best. Instead, they can’t even stand together in public photo shooting.

People even thought they have issue with each other, can you imagine how insult that would be? have to see your fans pairing you and your lover with other people, but couldn’t say anything.

Then, that’s talk about the new album. because i think they’re not gonna be quite for long. remember RM made a speech in UN about not just love yourself, also need to speak yourself? I think they are gonna speak, that’s why RM hinted in this interview:

yes form the same youtuber, go find the vid.  He say something big could be coming, i do think definitely could be JK and V coming out. see how serious JK’s face? this kid got frown lines in just a year! People were shock that he looks much grown up in “ON”, i just feel sorry for him. hes only 22, he shouldn’t have to grow up so much. But love would do this to you, the things you do for love age you. V seems much older too, i couldn’t imagine how much pressure hes under. 

And we have to talk about the songs.

First, Jungkook’s My time. He said the same thing about have to grow up fast. Of course industry would do that to you, but he was always quite happy till couple years ago. love do make us weak and hurt, some love just harder than the other. In his song, he said don’t know what’s his time, I think maybe he was thinking about when to come out? But eventually he definitely will, because his song was for V, the lyric mostly was easy to understand, but 

Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present (one time) Two time for the past (two time) these three lines i think sun means V’s name? probably means even against what V wants? but the one or two im not sure, how many times he disagree with V?

And time, my time, does that mean sexuality? or just simply means he couldn’t have time with V? so many possibility...

But i really wanna talk about V’s inner child. That’s the reason why i spent 4hrs writing this long ass post with my broken english. Not even sure would any one even bother to read... Because after everything i know and believe about V and JK, when i read the lyric i see a totally different song. a heart break love song for someone he knows for so long, when they both young. (im tearing up again) OK, call me imagine things all you want, if there’s a small chance they really are lovers and this song was for JK... just pretend that and read+listen the song again.

At that time, we had it tough While looking up at those stars in the sky, too far out of reach You at that time, didn't believe in galaxies But I saw it, a silver galaxy It must have hurt, it must have been so difficult I ran towards the endless light 

The first part is the beginning of their story, they wanna be like those stars, but JK wasn’t sure about himself. V believes they can make it. so they went for it, even have to go through all those lies and suffering.

and the chorus... 

It tingles, that summer day's air The cold sounds of the grey-lit streets I draw in a breath and knock at your door We gon' change 

maybe how things happened? Not sure the summer is a  metaphor or a real time though. this change means they fell in love.

Now I wish we would smile more It will be okay, because today's me is doing fine Yesterday's you, now it's all clear I want to hug the many thorns in the budding rose The smiling kid, the child who was always laughing brightly When I see you like that, I can't help smiling

The second part is breaking my heart. I think hes telling JK not to worry about him. He doesn’t mind those thorns(all the obstacles they have to face), he want  the rose(JK or their love relationship). And the smiling kid part just makes me cry every time. The line “Yesterday’s you”, Im not sure means he can sees JK’s grown up, or... When i sense that their relationship might be the almost disband reason, i think probably one of them wanted to go against the company, open their relationship. But the other one refused. That’s why they end up still the same. I thought was V wanted to open, because he’s more don’t care about what people think kinda person.  but now i think might be JK. That’s why V was crying so hard on the stage, because hes the one hiding. He felt sorry for JK, and JK held him showed he support his decision. And if that’s true, then the whole “yesterday you” could means that V understand why JK want to go public now. Another thing why i suddenly think JK is the one wanted to come out, is the “Golden Closet Film” name. And It’s started at 2017.11.08... probably the time they talked about coming out, but decided not to, he was frustrated and felt been pressed by the company into this glamorous closet.

the chorus this time means another change, maybe they broke up, or put a hold on their relationship. but i would think... maybe when V made the song, he didn’t know what would happen. this song was what he wanted to say to JK, so he could bring this song to JK and play or sing to him. See what would he choose.

Therefore comes the next part which is dancing in my tears: 

Tonight, if I reach my hand to yours Can you hold that hand? I'll become you You just have to look at my galaxies Be showered with all those stars I'll give you my world The lights illuminating your eyes, they're the me of now You’re my boy, my boy My boy, my boy, my boy

Is V asking JK to come out with him? i couldn’t figure out every single words mean but i don’t have to, that’s something V said to JK, the meaning belongs to them, we can just shared a bit of his emotion. there are just so many love and begging, calling for the boy he deeply in love with. every single word hurt me deeply because they are so real and pure.

If someone wrote something like this song to you, you need to grab that person tight. You might never meet another person could love you more than that.

I don’t know if JK hold V’s hand, like I said in the beginning, i could be all wrong and this is just a fanfic. But it’s the ending, if you still with me. let me make a wild guess...

If they come out on one of the coming concert, that would be epic.  I worry for them of course, I wish them nothing but happiness. I truly don’t want to see this great kids suffer anymore. So maybe its a good thing if im wrong, or the storm might swallow them all. No matter what, i will keep supporting them, hope most of the army too. 

[you-did-well-moon]

Seventeen reaction to S/O learning how to play the harp and Guzheng/Zither

Type: Pure fluff uwu

im sorryyy i accidentally deleted the ask so ima have to type it out

@that-lost-carat-unicorn asked Hii :3 How are you?? Is it okay if I make a request for Seventeen where they S/O is learning how to play harp and Guzheng/Zither???

A/N: After 6 months its here. I know it really did take a long time and im very sorry about that. It wasn’t until recently I got time to actually write it. Anyways, the only time I won't accept requests is if it says so in my bio!! This was actually a pretty cool request for me since I got to discover, see, and hear two new very interesting and beautiful instruments. please don't be afraid to talk to me or to request!!~Moon

S.Coups

The leader had managed to escape and get a ride to your company building. He hadn’t seen you in a long time due to your most recent world tour. He made sure his face was covered as he got out of the vehicle thanking the driver. He went to your group’s practice room only to search all the member’s faces and not find you. One of the girls saw his confused and worried face through the mirror as she smiled turning around. He was informed that you were down the hall practicing for a special performance you were asked to give at MAMA this year.

Curiosity tugged him down the hall to the practice room you were currently in only to grow when he heard different music than what he was used to hearing. He could tell it was an instrument, and he cautiously opened the door peaking his head in. He saw you sitting in a chair with the harp in front of you, and an older woman placing your hands on certain parts of the instrument. You looked up at the mirror spotting him. Smiling you excused yourself standing up and walking towards him. 

Sungcheol reached his hand out and as you took it he bought you into his embrace. When he grabbed your hand, he felt a weird sensation. Bringing your hand closer to his face he saw calluses and marks lining your finger tips. “Do they hurt?” he asked. You shook your head saying it only stung for a bit. Kissing your fingertips he told you to be careful. He opted to sit down to the side  and watch as your hands grew sure in their movements. He had a proud smile on his face, and he basked in the moment. His girl was talented, and no one could deny that. 

Jeonghan

Surprisingly, Jeonghan had gotten home ready to fall asleep with you in his arms after so long. Only to open the door, and not find you at your usual spot on the coach reading a book or cuddling with your cat, Han. He figured you were probably in another part of the house. He looked in the kitchen, the bedroom, and the restroom not finding you anywhere. Quickly getting tired of the where’s Waldo game, he picked up his phone calling your number. The phone rang, and you didn’t pick up. He felt an inkling of worry prick at his chest, but he chose to wait a bit getting into the shower in the meantime. 

As he was drying his hair, he heard the front door open and close. Opening the door he left the towel in the bathroom, and he walked into the living room space. There you were hair out of place, the tip of your nose pink from the wind.  A bright smile on your face as you placed a big case on the floor and your coat along with your scarf on the coat hanger near the door. As you saw Jeonghan your eyes seemed to light up, and you scurried up to him grabbing a hold of his hands and jumping in excitement.

"Hannie, you won't believe it but I'm learning how to play this really cool instrument called a Guzheng and-" Jeonghan instead bought his hand to the back of your head bringing your face into his neck. At that moment he really didn't care about anything but the fact that you were safe. "Let's go to bed" he said leading you into the bedroom. Your disappointment was clear on your face, but Jeonghan wasn't looking at you. You thought he'd be more exited. You pouted the whole time as you got ready for bed. By the time you got into the warm covers Jeonghan was on his side falling asleep. He seemed to feel you seeing as he turned around throwing an arm across your tummy. He called your name, and you hummed in reply. His hand reached for yours holding them in a loose grasp. "I don't care what you do as long as you're happy. As long as you smile at the end of the day you can do anything." You fell asleep with a content smile on your face.

Joshua

Everyone said it was better to learn how to play an instrument at an early age, but your parents never really thought to put you in any kind of lessons, and you were too busy being care free to really put any thought into things like that. Now that you were older, you regretted it. Being young, living alone, and a aspiring author didn’t really take much out of your schedule. In fact, your schedule had been empty for days except for writing and the occasional going out to the market or for a walk. In the end, you had seen an add for harp lessons and now having both the money and the will for it, you decided to go and check it out.

The classes were given inside a prestigious school for the creative arts, so there were also people who had played the harp their whole lives. At first, everyone was welcoming and kind. Until Jian and her two friends arrived with their instruments in studded cases and backpacks decorated with medals and badges they had won from various contests. They had begun to berate and make fun of the beginners (including you), and since the others didn’t seem too keen on standing up for them, it left you to put your foot down and take the worse of the cruel words. It was worth it when your peers came to thank you after class.

No one had ever stood up to Jian, until him. He had come one day to class meeting up with his friend, one of the best harp players in the school. You hadn’t noticed him because you had been talking back to Jian after she had told the class we couldn’t play the instruments to save our lives. “Jian, how many times have I told you that if you were a better person I would actually consider even befriending you.” Both you and Jian had looked at the person with shocked faces. After sputtering out a thank you, you would come to learn his name was Hong Jisoo, and you would continue to build on your relationship. He was a man with a kind personality and a soft heart. You had been walking around a park cheeks flushed from the cold when a hand first brushed against yours only to eventually encase yours. Your head snapped in his direction not being able to find his eyes since his head was bent towards the ground. “You know, I think it’s really brave of you to try something new. Braver than I could ever be. I think, give it a few more days, and you’ll be better than half those students in the school.” You had laughed throwing your head back hooking your arm through his, and putting your head on his shoulder. “You’re too much sometimes Joshua Hong.”

Jun

At a young age you had loved playing the Zither ravishing in the way it’s sound rang around the room at the pluck of the strings. The beautiful instrument began to collect dust as your life went on, and your life got busy with school. You soon forgot the feeling of the strings against your fingers, and by college any memory of the instrument was pushed away by the heavy notion of the real world and it’s struggles. 

Jun was helping you pack, you getting ready to move out of your childhood home and into your new apartment. This was a big milestone for you, and you and Jun spent the day laughing and joking around. Although jokingly told not to touch anything, he couldn’t stop himself from opening the photo album of you as a todler. As he looked at the pictures he saved certain ones getting ready to tease you for them only to stop when he came across a picture of you holding a familar instrument. He heard a a sigh behind him turning around to find you with a longing look on your face. You shook your head pulling him up so he could help you pack up the last of your belongings.

No matter what he did, the picture and the big smile on your chubby cheeks woudn’t leave Jun’s head. He felt the oppurtunity of something more when he thought about the lovely instrument, besides, your birthday was coming up. When he gave you the present, and you instantly recognized the shape of the box he couldn’t stop the skip of his heart and his sheepish smile as you glanced at him with a fondness shimmering in your eyes. As you tested the strings and the familar sound echoed in your ears he placed his hand on your knee lovingly saying what he thought was right at the moment,“I fully believe you can do amazing things with this, and I won’t stop supporting you.”

Hoshi

You were a single independent woman. With a job as a journalist speaking out against the injustices of humanity. A independent woman who currently had to take care of her sister because her parents had conveniently chosen to go on a cruise, and dumped their youngest on the unsuspecting oldest. You were a women who had bills that weren’t going to pay for themselves, but those could wait. You had a sister to spend some quality time with. Your schedule was more packed than it ever had been, but you couldn’t really say you hated it. It made the days go by faster and tired you out easily. Plus, you felt like you hadn’t seen your sister smile so brightly in so long. 

Now you even had a little hobby to show off when people asked you questions about yourself. After a few classes you came to realize that you were the only relatively young person in the class. Great. It wasn't until one day when the class was interrupted by a short guy who you hadn’t seen before come in with Gayu (a boy who came regularly with his father) close behind him. Because of his loud conversation with the class instructor you found out he was simply bringing Gayu to class in place of his uncle. Gayu and your little sister, Lyn had gotten quite close, so the younger boy had come to sit in the seat to your right next to Lyn. That left the only open seat to your left. You silently cursed not planning on meeting anyone, especially this cute, today.

He turned around eyes searching for Gayu only to find him sitting next to a pretty girl, hands tracing her instrument in wonder and curiosity. You saw the boy come in your direction a flustered smile adorning his lips. While at first, he was a bit shy he quickly got more comfortable as the class passed revealing his loud endearing self. You couldn’t say you weren't falling for him, but then the next class came and Gayu’s father came. No sign of the handsome young man was seen. It was like he never existed. It wasn't until the end of the class that Gayu’s father confronted you asking for your number. You were shocked. He had a wife. Seeing your wide eyes the male quickly back tracked telling you it was for Soonyoung. You agreed and it didn’t take much for you two to get close. The time went by fast, and your parents came back. Not having Lyn meant you didn’t have to go to the classes anymore, but you really liked playing the Zither. When you told Soonyoung this he responded with, “ The instrument has become a part of you holding a special place in your heart. At the end of the day if it puts that lovely smile of yours on your face, I would say it’s worth it”

Wonwoo

You were a child raised in a home of warmth and kindness. Your parents were both musicians playing the harp for events and a famous orchestra. You had your differences, but in the end they were your parents, and you adored them. You were wrecked when they were killed in a car accident when coming from a show. You didn't eat much or sleep because of the constant nightmares. Soon you would avoid anything that reminded you of them including their beloved instrument. You didn’t listen to music much always avoiding it. The only time you allowed yourself to go on memory lane was when you would visit the book store they had always bought you to as a kid. You could say you were surprised when you fell in love with a musician you had met there. 

Of course you had tried to avoid any romantic feelings,  but Wonwoo was persistent and eventually won over your heart. Although he always wondered why you refused him so harshly, he didn’t press. Spending time with Wonwoo and being his partner exposed you more to music than in the last few years of your life, and in a weird way it allowed you to heal. As the anniversary of your parent’s death rolled up you took a leap, and you decided you were ready to let go of all the pain you had kept after your parents departure. 

Feeling the harp’s strings against the pads of your fingers bought a sense of comfort, and every time the harp’s gentle sound rang around the room you could hear your parent’s voices telling you everything was going to be okay. When Wonwoo questioned you, you simply told him you had grown a bit bored and needed something to spice things up. It wasn’t until one day you told him to get in the car, and you drove to the cemetery. Walking up the hill you stared at the gravestones introducing Wonwoo to your parents. As you told him everything Womwoo smiled at you eyes shimmering with what you could only describe as pure adoration. Bringing your joined hands into his coat pocket he said “It may sound cheesy, but you continue to amaze me every day, and I fall more in love as well. What ever you do, I will always be by your side.”

Woozi

Being a main producer of the group Woozi was a but busier than the other members. That also meant that he wasn’t able to spend much time with you, but you were fine with it knowing it’s what he truly loved. Of course, you guys texted but even that was limited. You guys hadn’t had a chance to really talk in such a long time, so Jihyoon had no idea you had picked up on playing the Zither, a musical instrument of Chinese origin. 

He didn’t find out until one day when he came back to the apartment and tripped over the instrument’s case which you had left near the door in your haste to dive into the covers of your comfy bed. He was confused at first not knowing what it was until he opened the case seeing the instrument. He felt guilt wrap around his heart, but he gently closed the case making his way into the room to get ready for bed. Even when you guys did manage to meet up for dinner you didn’t tell him seeing his tired eyes. You were blissfully ignorant to the fact he indeed did know about your newfound passion.

You didn’t find out until the day you were on your way to the Pledis building ready to pick Jihyoon up for a day spent together since he had a free day. The radio host came on in a fake exited voice announcing Seventeen’s new song. You felt a light smile tug at your lips as you listened to the song, but you heard a familar sound in the instrumental of the song. Having spent so much time being the one behind the strings, you could recognize the Zither’s unique sound anywhere. When you questioned him about it he just shook his head fondly saying “Anything that makes you happy makes me happy. You should have let me know sooner.”

Dk

Seokmin made it a point to give you at least two phone calls everyday. One in the mornings, and one at night. You had just finished college deciding to take a brake until you submitted all the resumes you had prepared for life after college. Having nothing to do and always wanting to play a instrument you signed up for classes forgetting to tell your dear boyfriend in the midst of all the chaos. Coming to classes you expected an old man with a grumpy attitude. You didn’t at all expect a young man around your age with a bright smile on his face. His name was Zuhi, and you quickly became almost like siblings.

Seventeen had just finished promotions for their newest comeback, so Seokmin had some free time. He drove to your apartment ready to suprise you, and take you on a date only to find you gone. He called your phone only for his heart to launch into his throat the moment he heard a unknown man’s voice. You had been struggling with a particular chord all week, and being so close you told Zuhi to anwer your phone when it rang not thinking it would be your boyfreind on the other side. Seokmin asked the man if you were there and where you were with Zuhi responding that yes, you were in fact there on the verge of breaking his prized instrument, and the adress of the practice lessons.

Seokmin’s head was clustered with voices of insecurity circling all the way to the building. Seokmin knew you loved him, but that didn’tt stop the doubt inching it’s way into his heart. He had been texted the floor and room number, so he made his way anxiously tapping his foot as he waited in the elevator. He didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door but it was certainly not you grumbling to yourself as you closed a case and an unknown man snickering on the other side of the room as he sweeped the floor. As soon as you saw him your face was overtaken by a huge smile as you ran into his arms. He also couldn’t stop the beam stretching onto his face, any doubt dissapearing. He waited for you to pack up giving the man a nod as you walked out hand in hand. You exitedly told him everything about the lessons, and he listened with tentitive ears only replying with things like “Keep going to the lessons. Find something that makes you happy. Don’t worry babe you’ll get it in no time.” 

Mingyu

You were a university student being a vital part of the orchestra group there since you were one of the best violin musicians there. You loved your instrument and had actually never grown curious about the other instruments. You didn’t really care for them, and learning how to play them seemed like too much of a hassle. You already had something you were good at, so why stray away from it. Maybe the harp had caught your eye a few times, but Dani was the leading musician for that, and she was very good at it. She had given you a few lessons, but you always went back to your beloved violin.

Then, Dani being as clumsy as she was, had to trip when going down the stairs of the orchestra hall effectively spraining her wrist and rendering it useless. Dani had been the only harp player in the orchestra, and with an important event coming up and you being the only one with even a little experience, the orchestra instructor had no choice but to make you learn how to play the harp. You knew it wasn’t anybody's fault, but you couldn’t help and get cranky and snappy with the added stress of college life. Luckily, you had your boy friend to help you through it. Coming home to warm dinner and a clean house definitely calmed your sour mood.

You couldn't say you hated the harp. In fact, you quite liked the way it's strings felt against your fingers, but the timing could have been better. One day when Mingyu had called you, and your voice seemed off he decided to pay a visit. Getting there he couldn't help but shake his head fondly at you. The corners of your mouth were turned down, but there was a softness in your eyes that increased when ever the harp seemed to create the sound you wanted it to. Leaving the bag of take out on the desk near the door he grabbed a stool placing it next to yours. His thigh touched yours and as you finished he reached out tilting your head laying it on his shoulder. “I’m proud of you for coming this far. It will all pay off in the end, I promise. Whatever instrument your hands choose to play just know you will always have this hand to hold.”

The8

You didn't know what to do. Being a trainee at pledis seemed easy, and you were never one to get distracted from your ultimate goal of debuting. But Minghao came with his rare smile and passionate eyes making your heart skip a beat whenever you saw him. You had been friends for a long time, and you figured you’d rather take rejection than spend your whole life hoping for something that would never happen if you didn’t grow a pair. You really liked Minghao, so go big or go home right? Yeah you were trying to learn how to play an instrument from his home country.

MInghao was confused. His best friend who usually had some spare time, now had a packed schedule. He was not talking about Jun. He was talking about you. His dearest friend with shimmering eyes and a smile that made his heart do weird things. His best friend. Anytime he tried asking you about what was keeping you so busy, you always came up with the weirdest excuses. Something about helping your grandmother or feeding your dog. Your grandmother lived on the opposite side of the country, and the only pet you had was a hamster. It wasn't until you forgot your phone on the rare occasion you did find time for him, that he got to see how you were really spending your time.

He could hear the unique sound of the familiar instrument before even opening the door to the practice room a staff member had informed him he would find you in. He was impressed when he saw it was you behind the calming sound, but was much more focused on the red hue creeping into your cheeks when your eyes landed on him. As you explained to him why were you learning how to play the delicate instrument, he couldn't help but to duck his head to hide his own reddening cheeks shaking his head as he reached out for your hand smiling brightly. “I would have liked you no matter what you did. As long as you like it, you should really think about continuing it. I’ll support you no matter what.”

Seungkwan

You and Seungkwan didn’t really have a problem with your relationship going public, and if you got any hate it would probably disperse as time went on. Carats were a loving and kind fandom, so Seungkwan trusted they would accept you when the time came to let them know. For now, your relationship would only be known by close friends and management. You were a student for a small creative arts college, and you were currently learning how to play a unique instrument called the Guzheng. Seungkwan always made you play for him, even when you were barely starting. At the end he would always praise you teasingly squishing your cheeks and cooing at you about how much of a fast learner you were.

Sometimes he would even sing a song that went along with what you were playing (usually a ballad). He was the voice, and you were the instrument. That being said, he was not the instrument. Can you imagine his surprise when they were presented with his girlfriend’s instrument on a variety show, and whichever team got the Guzheng to sound closest to the song would get food. As they went on to their 7th try with no one even coming close, Seungkwan found himself wishing you were with him. He wanted to make a joke about the irony of the situation, but he couldn’t because your relationship wasn’t public yet.

Everyone was getting frustrated, and although Seungkwan was used to his member’s teasing, combined with the frustration of not being able to play your instrument and missing you, he snapped. Right after Hoshi threw a light hearted jab at him, Seungkwan started yelling about how if you were here they would have already lost a long time ago, and he at least had a girlfriend that he could go home to. Everyone was shocked at the sudden reveal of his relationship, and news about it spread fast. You weren't upset instead just cooing at your boyfriend about how cute he was when he was angry. He only replied with “It’s not my fault I have such an amazing and talented girlfriend.”

Vernon

You were a person of the creative arts, just not the musical arts. You liked drawing and painting more, but your parents wanted you to be like your sister, so they enrolled you in classes for harp. From the start, you felt a lot of bitterness towards your parents making you hate the harp and anything to do with it. You were stubborn, and although you complied with the classes, you always had a frown tugging at your lips. Even after seeing you upset your parents forced you to take the classes. You surprisingly continued playing the harp all the way up to college while secretly taking art classes on the side. You actually also played at a little café a few blocks from your university.

That café is where you met Hansol, your present boyfriend, who you told about your situation right off the bat. He always suggested just telling your parents you weren't interested in the instrument, but you always rejected the idea. To be honest, you had grown quite fond of the harp over the years. Even if forced to lean it’s various strings and sounds, it had grown on you. You were at a crossroads, not wanting to pick between the harp and the brush, and you didn’t have to worry about the choice for a long time.

You didn’t have to worry about the choice until a friend of your sister’s who attended your college and had an art class with you told your sister who in turn told your parents. Your parents then called you demanding for you to choose one then angrily hanging up. You went to Hansol in tears in a panic over not knowing what to do. He simply wrapped his arms around you rocking you from side to side before leaning back and wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs. He smiled at you and said “Why don’t you just choose both? I know you y/n, and I know you can easily take both because of how deep your love for both runs.”

Dino

Throughout Chan’s life, he had many crushes, but he was sure they had never been as strong as the one he had on you. Your father was one of the managers, and you often came to visit him since you hadn't seen your dad in a long time because of your stay in America. Visiting your dad meant you also often spent time with the group, and it didn’t really take much for Chan to fall for you. He found you interesting, and you had a personality that always attracted him. You were also one of the only ones who treated him as an adult instead of the innocent maknae who used to have duck hair.

He was especially fascinated when he found out you were learning how to play a Chinese instrument called the Zither. Since your father wanted you close, you could often be found practicing with your instrument in one of the Pledis practice rooms. Coincidentally the room you used was close to the room Seventeen used. This allowed Chan to always peak when he was passing by. He always thought you looked beautiful when you played the instrument. Well, Chan always thought you were beautiful, but that’s not the point.

What he didn’t know, was that you knew he would peak when ever you were practicing thanks to the mirror opposite the room’s door. You also knew about his crush on you, and you returned his feelings. It wasn’t until one day when he was watching you play with heart eyes that you turned around towards the door and told him to come in. Chan was shocked when you “caught” him, and he continued to be shocked when you said you knew about his crush and he should hurry up and confess. He managed to come out of his surprised state when he sputtered out a “I like you”. He continued after that with “You’re just amazing and interesting, and- even though I'm not your boy friend I'm really proud of how far you’ve come. You never gave up..” The both of you stayed in the room talking, and you came out hands joined with bright smiles on your faces.

[way-veee]

yān yǔ

pt. 3

today you had to go grocery shopping. 

you and wayv were going to go out and buy ingredients for a filmed dinner making segment. the segment started at four, and you were to be taking notes the whole time. what a great way to spend an afternoon. 

it was just around lunch time, so you decide to go out and get something to eat before you have to leave. the confides of your quarters were crushing, you couldn’t stand the structured day schedule for one more minute. 

you knew a ramen place close-ish by,and it sounded like a nice break from everything.

you were more than excited to leave as you stick to the corners of the halls not wanting to explain yourself to any managers. 

you thought you were alone on your adventure outside, but you were sadly mistaken. xiaojun, lucas and winwin were following you from behind. they saw you leave and being presidents of the we hate y/n club, they had to follow you to see what you were doing.

you round the corner and open the door, you feel the fresh air on your face and rejoice.

“hey!” lucas yells in a bird like voice. “where are you going!”

you jump, startled again. god, this day was supposed to be fun. “ i was just going out.”

they look confused.

“alone?” winwin says. it was like the whole concept of independence was new to him.

you nod looking at these boys. then you remembered the promise you made to yourself.

“i.. i’m going to a ramen place for lunch. would  you like to come?” you muster up your best relaxed smile.

“no,” xiaojun says.

“yeah that sounds boring.” lucas replies.

winwin just looks at you with a face of disgust and you assume he means no as well.

you were so glad you were a nice person.

“when you guys usually go out how many guards do you need with you?”

they look you in the eyes now, aware of what you’re doing.

“we need at least two at all times, if there’s filming then we bring over 10 people.” lucas replies.

“ i know it’s not my place to say this, but even if you wont tell me i know you guys want to be alone outside. no one wants to be caged up.”

they know you’re right. but they also know that the’re rules that they need to follow.

“you shouldn’t be caged up. do you hear me?”

they stay quiet. maybe they shouldn't have talked to you at all.

“im going,” you say sternly. “you should come.”

then you walk off, breaking your facade and breathing heavily from fear. if they tell on you you’d be off this report immediately and would probably be fired. 

but for some reason you know that they won’t. 

“were you actually gonna follow her!” winwin yells at lucas. 

“well, yea for a second i was.”

“why!” winwin whispers yells still not wanting to be caught and hurried back into their rooms.

“you know she’s right,” xiaojun says, serious. 

winwin quiets, you were right. then lucas begins to speak

“listen, i know that we hate her and she’s annoying and a bunch of other things, but i still think we should go with her. we won’t get another chance like this for a while.”

“i want to go too,” xiaojun says, siding with lucas.  

xiaojuns pleading eyes completely destroy whatever counter argument winwin has.

“fine,” he says, a hint of excitement in the back of his throat. “but if she sells us off to sasaengs or tries to kill us, it’s on you guys.” 

“im gonna put on my travel pants!” lucas yells galloping back to his room.

when they catch up to you, you were relieved, excited and a little bit confused on why lucas kept on talking about “travel pants”

you stay silent and let them talk in hushed tones. this was an alliance between you both and you didn’t want to wreck it.

when you get to the ramen place you speak to the waiter in hushed chinese for a table in the back.

“i forgot she could do that,” winwin says to the boys, saddened by the lost prospect of talking about you while you were with them.

you get a table at the back, the boys sit facing the wall side, just so no one would notice them. 

they were surprised that no one had discovered them yet. was going out really that easy?

“i’ll get one of those please, “ you say to the waiter.

“and i’ll get a ramen bowl with shrimp, tofu, green beans and rice.” lucas says with a dazzling smile on his face. 

“um, the tofu and rice are part of a separate meal, so what you ordered would be enough for three people, are you sure you don’t want something else?” 

lucas eyes the waiter definitely not impressed. “i know what i said.” he never blinks once. the waiter gives up with an indignant huff and walks back to relay the orders to the chefs.

“xiaojun what drink did you order?” you question, inspecting his brownish drink.

he triumphantly lifts up his glass and says, “this is pepsi, coca cola, sprite and fanta!”

you vomit in your mouth, that sounds so disgusting. “why... why do drink that?”

“well, i really like all of those drinks and it would be gross to order 4 drinks at once, so one day i thought, hey why don’t i put them together?”

he gestures proudly to his drink. so proud in fact that he lifts it up for you to look at it but instead spills it all over your sweater.

you stand up gasping, “my sweater!”

“oh my gosh im sorry!” xiaojun yells embarrassed.

“do you have a change of clothes or something?” lucas says concerned at your shirt stained brown.

“i could go back to my room, but that’s far and i-”

“miss?” the same waiter says snooping in on the conversation. “we might have something for you in the back?” he gestures past the kitchen and you of course follow him not wanting to sit in a carbonated sweater.

“that sack was ugly anyways” winwin snickers as you leave.

xiaojun and lucas nod, both agreeing.

was this all they had? it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t what you normally wore when reporting. it was tight and dark blue with buttons. 

you weren’t about to leave your lunch because of three- no, one drink crazy idol.

you walk out and sit back down. they had just brought out your ramen and you start to eat it.

you feel them all staring at you. this wasn’t some movie where you wore a winter color palette and let your hair down and all the guys fall for you.

“you look even worse!” winwin exclaims, not impressed.

“it’s better than the sack” xiaojun shrugs.

“is it?” lucas says looking at xiaojun “is it really?”

“hey im sitting right here,” you say while waving your hands.

they didn’t seem to mind at all.

the rest of  lunch went surprisingly well, lucas ate enough for four people when you decided to give him the rest of your bowl. and the insults at each other became jokes and teasing. 

the boys couldn’t believe it. they were actually enjoying your company. people usually wouldn’t talk bad about idols to their faces, but you really didn’t care. your company was refreshing. 

not to mention the way you looked in the shirt you had to wear. you actually looked pretty not wearing a sack shirt. it was quite surprising.

“we better go back,” you say looking at your wristwatch. “filming starts in under an hour.” 

you look at the boys. they looked like they could stay there forever. they looked so normal and happy like when you had seen them the other night.

“and action!”

“okay!” kun yells at the boys with a giddy smile. “we have to find the ten items we want in 3 minutes, then we’ll choose the dish according to the rules of the game.”

the boys break out into indistinct crazy conversations as the bright lights of the grocery store and camera crew illuminate their foundation padded faces.

you watched admiringly from behind the camera. they were wearing new clothes again, probably some that they’d never wear again. but at least they looked happy, or happier than they had been in restricting suits.

“one two thr-” before kun can finish counting hendery and ten breakout into a run down the grocery store aisles completely ignoring kun’s authority as a leader. you chuckle.

you had to give it to them, they were really funny on camera and entertaining to watch. you understood now why so many people liked them. 

then the camera goes zooming past you as the other boys break away running to find food for the challenge. you scribble down more notes back with the film crew.

the boys were energetic. if there was a more powerful word than energetic i’d use it right now, the boys were driven by the prospect of food and nothing could derail them. they are after all young men. 

“aah!” lucas yells, you gasp, had he hurt himself or fell?

 then you see him run by with three loaves of bread in his hands and at least four cans of beans in his pockets. ten then follows yelling at lucas that he took his beans.

the rest of the grocery store segment had much more chaos and yelling like before. 

 the youngest members teamed up against the oldest and they stole all of their chicken and seaweed. then ten and lucas also sided with the younger members so it was really just them yelling and stealing food items from kun and winwin.

at one point hendery decided to do a back flip down the aisles which ended surprisingly well, but then lucas tried and knocked off a whole shelf of rice which he then had to clean up.

when it was over you hadn't written many notes down because you couldn't draw your eyes away from them. you were inexplicably drawn to them and their personalities. 

you also found them quite entertaining.

“y/n did you write down that i did a back flip!” hendery says out of breath running up to you.

you nod slowly, “i did, good job with that by the way.”

“thanks” hendery says while pushing his sweaty hair out of his face.

‘i’ve been practicing on a chair and on my bed and then i just run really fast and do an air somersault. you know?”

you look at him in shock, was he okay?  but then you remembered, no, he’s just a member of wayv. that was reason enough for you.

you took a separate car to the kitchen where the boys were gonna be filming at. it made you sad, you kind of missed their presences, even if it just was them pestering you.

when you finally got to the restaurant they gave you a chair to sit on as you watched them. 

they had the food laid out on the table and they were gonna make scallion pancakes and congee. it was a weird combo but they insisted on making it.

you enjoyed the filming, watching the boys joke around and horribly make food. 

at one point you see one of their managers try to signal at winwin to move. for some reason he wanted winwin on the sides not in the center? 

but winwin didn’t see the gesture, or ignored it. either way he stayed in the middle.

 it was fine by you, the boys looked unconcerned by winwin’s presence so why should it matter.

the show ended with the boys trying to eat their creations but laughing too much and then having to throw it out because it wouldn’t unstick from the pans.

as lucas walks away to get changed he whispers “im glad we ate at lunch because i don’t think that food was even edible.”

you look at lucas who was trying to actually have a nice conversation with you.

“good thing you ate enough for four people,” you joke.

then you look behind lucas’s shoulder to see the manager sternly talking to winwin. winwin looks visibly upset, but the manager wouldn’t stop. it was probably about the incident earlier.

lucas follows your eyes and his face falls. “y/n, don’t.”

but the second the manager stops talking, winwin runs away and you follow. you had to see if he was okay.

lucas doesn’t try to stop you anymore. he just goes and get changed. stuff like this has happened before. what could he do about it?

you follow him. he doesn’t run for much longer and stops, sitting in one of the many dark hallways of the building.

he’s crunched on the ground crying. winwin has always been visibly strong and outgoing. now he’s not.

you don’t know what to say or do so you just sit beside him on the ground, listening to his shallow breathing.

he looks up at you after some time. 

“i should’ve just moved.” 

his eyes were red and wet from crying. that was no way to treat another human being. you couldn't do anything right know, but you wanted to yell and curse at all of the managers at SM.

winwin’s hand was atop his knee and you slowly put your hand on top of his. he stops shaking almost immediately and you just sit there with him.

“i’m afraid they’re gonna get rid of me again.” 

you didn’t know if he was talking to you, or just in general. so you just listened.

“i don’t know what to do anymore.”

 you can hear him  start to cry again.

“why don’t they like me?” 

you wondered how many times the boys have been upset or cried like this. you wondered how many hours or days were spent hating their management. it made you sick.

you grasp winwin’s hand a little tighter. then wipe the tears off of his soft cheeks.

“i like you” you say smiling at him.

“no you don’t” he says through his knees.

“i do. you’re a talented person, and you’re nice. i couldn’t hate you if i wanted too.”

“you’re lying” he says. but then he grips your hand even tighter in the dark hallway and you smile.

when you arrive back to the boys they immediately ask winwin so many questions. they were so concerned about him. 

it made you happy to see people care about other people in such a way.

“thank you.” xiaojun whispers while walking by you. apparently he can give up hating you for a second to thank you. that made you happy too.

after some hugs and hushed words kun approaches you.

“so y/n. we had an idea, can you help us with it?”

“umm, probably? can you tell me what it is?”

kun smiles a short smile in the hallway of the building.

“it has to do with an article, us and our company-”

“i’m in.” you say automatically.

pt. 4

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather: Chapter 12: You’re Invited, But Your Friends Can’t Come

August 1985

It was My Bazzar Magazine Fashion New York Shoot today and I was very excited. I never thought I would get to this point. My Sports Illustrated Magazine shoot gave me more opportunities. I was getting more calls to do more magazines and more calls for movie auditions next year. I was making more money then I could imagine, and Tamara was over the moon with how I was presenting my self.

Speaking of Tamara, she had no clue about what happened with me when I went out with the Motley boys. And I wasn't planning on telling her.

"Hey girl you ready for your shoot?" Lisa asks walking into my change room.

"Just about." I smile.

"Don't smile." The glam team states as there doing my make up.

"Sorry."

I was finally done and I was ready to go. I looked amazing. I walked over to Lisa who was holding a camera. She wanted to take a picture with me. And I was happy to. We walked out of the room and into the hall. She looked like she wanted to say something but was a bit hesitant to.

"What's wrong Lisa?" I stopped her and asked.

"Its nothing it's just.... I haven't heard from Vince since the after party and.. I mean.... well... he told me he would call me." She shrugs.

I should have told Lisa this is how they behave. They sleep with girls and take off. You can't expect a real relationship to come from any one of them. Not even Tommy who is gaga over Heather.

"Look I'm going to take my pictures and then when Im done we'll talk more about this." I continued walking.

"Ok. It could probably be because Nikki got you high and drunk. Maybe that's why he's avoiding me." She crossed her arms.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at Lisa with wide eyes. What did she mean by Nikki got me high and drunk.

"Wait Nikki said I drank too much punch that had whiskey in it." I stated.

"You did buuuut when you were alittle tipsy he gave you brownies that had weed in it. And then got you high and took you to the bar and ordered you cranberry juice and jack. And that got you drunk." She giggled. "I thought he told you."

My breathing started to get heavy. I should have known that he would do that. And what makes it worse is that he was busy calling the hotel begging to speak me. And I let his call come through and spoke to him. He was talking casually to me like he didn't do a single thing. Every time I think he's a good guy something always comes up to tell me other wise. I even went as far as to thank him for taking care of me while I was drunk. Not knowing that he was the one that actually got me to that point.

"Mani....Mani." Lisa hit my shoulder.

"Sorry I'm good let's just go." I continued walking out to the set. I was to be taking a picture beside a white stallion in a barn area of some sort out side. I felt agitated and annoyed. I was suppose to be focusing on this shoot but instead I was focused on how much I was starting to hate Nikki. And hate is a strong word that we should not be using. But I'm using it, and it's being used on Nikki Sixx.

"Alright Miss Darlington grab the horse." The photographer shouted. I grabbed the horse with thoughts of Nikki in my head. Is there a reason why he didn't tell me that he was the one that got me drunk. Questions were running through my mind and I needed answers.

"Alright that's a wrap". The photographer shouted.

I headed towards my dressing room and just sat there looking at my self in the mirror.

Nikki Sixx equals trouble. ________

September 25, 1985

I have been waiting for this week to come by and it is finally here. New York fashion week. It was being held in Manhattan at the skylight Clarkson Square. I already booked 15 shows and was paid a lot of money for it. I walked down the aisle with my head held high owning it. Tamara actually cried, I was shocked. But she was so happy to see me up there.

My whole family showed up for the show. And also some friends. I called Slash and his family to see if they could come but unfortunately he wasn't able too. However he did have some good news for me. He found a band in July. He was trying to get a hold of me but I was so busy it was hard for us to talk. I think the bands name is Guns N Roses. He told me that they were playing in LA at clubs like the Whisky a Go Go, Trabadour, and The Roxy. After im finished in New York I'll head down to LA to check out there gig. I'm very happy for him.

Also Motley Crues Theater of pain album has been climbing to the top of the charts. So much for Vince saying that the album sucked. Speaking of Vince, I invited him to come and watch me walk my first runway. But not just for that, today was the last day of fashion week. But it's also my Birthday, and I'm having a party well actually a dinner. Vince agreed not to tell the other guys seeing as my family was here and I didnt want anything bad to happen. My mom really liked Vince. It turns out that Vince was quite the charmer. My sisters even liked him. Me and Vince agreed not to say anything about Vince being in the band Motley Crue.... for now. We settled on him being Lisa's date. And yes I got Vince to call Lisa, I felt really bad. But is it weird that I was starting to like Vince..... a lot.

As for Nikki he called and tried to talk to me but I confronted him and ended up hanging the phone on his lying behind. He's been calling non stop after that leaving crazy messges. Personally, I think he's psychotic. He should have just told the truth. But knowing him, its always lies that come out of his mouth. And I wasn't going to beleive a single thing he had to say.

We ate dinner and everyone got along well. I finally had somthing go right... for now. _______

October 18, 1985, Toronto Canada

12:00 pm

A couple days after my first runway and birthday I headed home for a bit of a much needed break. Especially because I was doing interview after interview and commercials. Me and my sisters just got back from shopping we bought alot of things, well I bought alot of things. Just to have some sister time felt so good. Since I became famous we haven't spent alot of time with each other so it was nice going out.

We started taking our clothes out of our shopping bags and trying them on.

"This dress is really nice I should wear it when we go out some time." I looked over at Selena she's the oldest but shes really short. She put on a short blue dress and it really looked nice on her.

"I think so too. I like this skirt and top." I say putting the clothing on the bed matching them together. "You guys care too much about what you wear it's annoying." Felicia my younger sister is a tom boy she likes wearing mostly T-shirts and sweat pants. Where as Selena and I like dressing up. Maya the youngest was 2 so we usually dressed her up.

"Iman phone!" My mom yelled.

"Who is it?" I asked

"Vince!"

I ran to go get the phone. "Vince hey what's up!"

"Hey Mani, guess what?"

"What?" I said,

"Motley Crue is in Toronto baby!"

He shouted with excitment. I thought he was joking but when I looked and saw the number on the phone. I realized it was a number at one of the hotels downtown.

"No way, oh my God we have to chill."

"Hell yeah we do girl. So uuuuh can you call up some of your friends and come down to the Maple Leaf Gradens show today?"

"Is that where you guys are playing?"

"Yeah you should come watch us. This show is gonna be fucking crazy!"

"Considering what happened last time when I went to go see you guys in New York and ended up a drunk mess in Nikki's room. I think it would be a great idea to pass on that. I can meet you before the show and we can go out. I know some really fun places."

"Oh yeah sorry about that."

"We'll talk more when I see you, what hotel are you staying at?"

"The Hilton. Meet me there for about 4."

"Sounds great."

"Listen I didnt-"

(Loud yelling)

"Hello, hello, Vince?" All I could hear was loud yelling and the phone being hit around.

"Hello.... Vince?"

"Mani?"

I can't even tell you how fast I dropped the phone. It was Nikki. And I had no intention of speaking to him. ________

3:15 pm

I called up some of my friends and we drove down to the Hilton. My crew was Mia, Ashley, and Anna. We met in elementary school and stayed friends. They have always been there for me. We had other friends but us four were the tightest. We were ride or dies. They were so excited to meet Vince. My friends are like me but a bit worse. I won't lie they're very judgemental divas and would never settle for less. Oh like me, so never mind. I told them about the rest of the Motley boys. But they weren't interested in them especially because of the way they looked. We finally made it to the hotel and I called Vince from downstairs.

"Hey there sugar!" Vince shouted.

"Hey Vince!" I shouted back. I ran and gave him a big hug. We both walked backed to my friends. They started giggling and smiling as if me and Vince were a couple.

"My friend Mia drove so were going to go in her car and go to this wings place." I smiled.

Vince put his arm around me and smiled with all teeth. "That sounds great sweetheart."

"Yeah that does sound great." We heard a voice behind us and we all turned around. It was Nikki and Tommy.

"Oh h..hey guys. Uh we were just heading out." Vince said in a nervous voice. Nikki was glaring at me. It was a look that I couldn't even read. But I knew he was angry. And so was Tommy.

"Hope we can join you. I mean we weren't invited." Tommy snorted and glared at us.

"Theres no room in my car. It only seats five people sorry." Mia stated and smirked at Tommy.

"Sweety we don't need your cheap car we have limos. Were rockstars." Nikki and Tommy pushed passed us and walked out.

This was going to be a very chaotic afternoon. ______

We arrived at Wings Palace and everyone ordered what they wanted. The boys were so loud and ordered alot of alcohol. They started getting very rowdy and people were staring at us. Some were disapproving of them while others were taking pictures of us. Young fans came over to ask for autographs and some girls would even go as far as to ask them to sign there breasts. And I mean lift up there shirts right there with no bra. Yuk.

"So why the fuck weren't we invited out hmm?" Tommy asked looking at me.

"Uh well..... I didn't know if you wanted to come." I scratched my head. Wow Iman great lie Tommy's down for anything.

"I smell a bullshitter." Nikki snorted looking at me.

"What ever Nikki." I rolled my eyes. Nikki sat right beside me in the booth he was on the right I was in the middle and Mia on my other side. Vince sat across, he was in the middle Anna on his right and Ashley on his left he had both arms around them. They were in heaven. Tommy sat in chair pulled up to the table.

"So Vince what's it's like being a Rock Star. I see the whole bad boys behaviour on TV but you honestly don't look the type." Ashley smiled.

"Pfft." Nikki snorted "Vince is just as bad as us."

"Probably, but he looks better that's for sure." Anna cooed.

"Why cause he's a blonde hair bitch." Tommy and Nikki laughed.

"Y'know jealousy dosen't look good on you two." Ashley sneered.

"Neither does your hair cut." Nikki laughed.

I turned and glared at Nikki. "knock it off." I hissed.

"Fuck off." He said flipping me off.

"Here are your wings boys." The server said as she brought our wings. She looked over at Nikki and smiled.

"Thank you bye now." I shooed her away.

"Jealous are we." Nikki smirked.

"I would never be jealous of a girl that wanted to talk to you." I snorted.

"You know Iman at one point I actually thought you were a cool chick, but seeing as you didn't even want me and Sixx around to meet your stiff friends I think your a fucking bitch." Tommy says waving his hands at me.

"Wow real classy I can see why she didn't invite you two losers." Mia said as she bit a wing.

"Fuck you stupid cunt!" Nikki shouted throwing wings at Mia.

"Nikki stop!" I shouted.

"Get these losers out of here. You think because your rockstars you can talk to people any how you want!" Mia shouted.

"Ok woah guys now calm down." Vince raised his hands up.

"This is why I didnt invite you two. Everytime I go out with you two something always happens. Your either drunk or high or both!" I yelled and pushed Nikki out of the booth.

Nikki got up and thrashed the table throwing all the food to the floor and spilling the drinks every where on everyone.

"Fuck you bitches! I heard you were hear and I wanted to say sorry for what I did last time!" He gestured to me. "But I change my mind, you deserved to look like a drunken whore at that party!" Nikki yelled in my face.

My eyes went wide. I didn't know whether I wanted to slap him across the face or kill him. Instead, I got out of the booth and ran out of the building. I had enough of this guy and I wasn't going to put up with him any longer.

"Iman wait!" Nikki shouted and ran after me.

I picked up my pace and ran faster with tears filling my eyes and running down my cheeks. I didnt want to see any one, I just wanted to get as far away from them as possible. I ran straight inside the downtown Library were I knew I wouldn't be found.

"Iman!" Nikki shouted, or I thought I wouldn't be found. I ran up the stairs and stood in the corner of the library. Taking my hands and rubbing my wet face.

"God Nikki just leave me alone!" I shouted.

"No!" He shouted back.

"Shh" we were both startled by the librarian who came over to us "This is a quiet library not a place for you guys to be yelling. You can do that outside." The librarian hissed. We both looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

"Please just leave me alone Nikki." I whispered.

"No." He argues. "Not until you hear me out." I rolled my eyes.

"Look princess I fucked up at the party when I got you drunk ok and I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because... because I knew if I did you would never speak to me again. And I didn't want that for us."

I sighed."Nikki I would rather you tell me the truth than lie in my face. It makes me wonder what else you actually lie about."

"Ok you want to talk truth. Well why did you invite Vince to your first runway and Birthday? You didn't even tell me, Tommy, or fucking Mick about it? What kind of bullshit is that?" Nikki raised his voice turning me to face him.

I should kill Vince for saying anything to them. I told him not to and now I have to answer for it.

"Well me and Vince became close we talk now and then. I tell him about things I'm doing and he tells me about the things he's doing." I say looking at my feet. I looked back up and Nikki and he just had a sad expression on his face.

"And you can't do that with me? That's what your basically trying to say right?"

"No Nikki I cant! And I don't want to!" I said that with a harsh tone. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt my feelings back at Wings Palace and for every other place he had hurt me. But when I looked into his eyes he looks like he could cry right now. And I felt a bit guilty for what I said. Until his face changed into the angry Nikki I was used to seeing.

"Fine fuck you then!" He snapped and walked away.

I met back up with my friends and we hung around later then I expected. We stayed for the show which turned out to be great. I had to call my mom from the arena so she wouldn't freak out. But she wanted me home anyways. We said our goodbyes to Vince and Mick. Tommy and Nikki ignored me and my friends. So that was a great night. Not!

_____ 3.22 am

I was in my room sleeping when all of a sudden a car horn started going off outside and someone started screaming my name at the top of their lungs. It was probably a crazy fan. All the lights went on and everyone ran out of their rooms and headed to the front door. I looked out the door and..oh my God it was Nikki. He was smiling drunkenly at me with his Jack Daniel's bottle in his hand. He was still in his stage clothes and he looked like a mess. Tommy was with him grabbing him trying to get him back in the car. How the hell did they know where I lived.

"Oh there look T bone! Awww theres my princess! Look how fucking beautiful you are!" Nikki slurred.

I moved and hid behind the door so he wouldnt see me again. I can't believe this guy came here like this. I'm so embarrassed.

"No! Mani baby please I'm sorry. I just...I'm a mess!" He slurred and fell on the ground with his bottle spilling.

"Who is this man?" My mom yelled "call security right now and get these dirty drunks off my property now!" My demanded. "Get off my property or I'll call the cops!" She yelled in there direction.

"Look im really sorry I'll take him home please don't call the cops!" Tommy shouted back.

"Mani baby just wait for me please. I'll get my shit together I promise! Just dont break yours!" Nikki shouted as Tommy picked him up and through him in the back of the car.

"I'm really sorry!" Tommy shouted and waved. He got in his car and drove off.

My mom shut the door and looked at me with a straight face. "Start talking now!" She shouted at me.

"I don't... I don't know those guys." I said with a hesitant voice.

"Do not lie in my face. Cause if I find out that your involved with any guy. You are done with your career. Especially if he looks like that pile of junk outside! They look like a bunch of leather head rock stars! Well not for my daughter! You will get a good Catholic man!" My mom pointed in my face.

"I don't know him, it happens in LA a lot when I'm on the streets." I whispered. I was terrified of my mom. I felt like I was about to pee in my pants when she gave me that look. The sweat was drizzling down my face and in my Pitts. My breathing was heavy and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Good for nothing rock star junkies is what they are." She walked away and my sisters looked at me then walked upstairs to there room. I hated lying to my mom, but this lie had to be told.

I walked up to my room and I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I thought about the promise that I made to Nikki. A promise that unfortunately I would have to break. My mom would never accept Nikki. Even if I ended up falling in love with someone like him. She could never accept him for all his chains and leather.

[e8luhs]

i am very excited for refactoring!! i already love the characters. can you tell us more about the main cast? like personality and interests and stuff.

AW YES IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE EXCITED!! i got this ask this morning and it seriously made me want to stay home from school and just infodump. im putting this under a cut since it will probably get a bit long i just kind of wrote down some fun tidbits and etc

mavis

absolute jock-passing nerd. she dresses like she Does Sport even though she did like quiz bowl and whatnot instead.

shes quite chill and thoughtful (its the taurus rising) but gets easily bored and needs constantly new forms of stimulation to stay motivated. she loves a challenge and basically feeds off of that kind of stuff. this really only cancelled out when its something deeply stressful (like being teleported to an entirely new dimension and all that). she CAN settle down into one spot and feel comfortable with that so long as she isnt BORED because GOD FORBID SHES BORED.

mavis likes science but especially astronomy, and despite everything shes actually really into horror movies and the paranormal too. a definite Halloween Enthusiast and also listens to lemon demon dare i say.

whenever shes stressed or frustrated or anxious her knee jerk instinct is to try and joke about it and move on. she isnt really direct about how she feels and whatnot and when she IS its usually via punchline.

silas

silas is probably one of the easiest people to read in the cast. its basically impossible for him to lie or say that hes doing well if he isnt. hes a very honest person and expects that kind of honesty from others also, and it becomes really frustrating for him when people arent direct about how they feel

BECAUUUUSEEEE hes also very empathetic. both of the hao siblings are but he goes about it in a very different way than catriona. hes much more like “I have to know everything about why you are upset or else ill die” because if he sees someone sad and doesnt know why it basically eats him up inside until he knows.

hes also a bit of a jokester not about his feelings or anything but just in general! rather than using it as a defense he just really enjoys making people laugh. silas is very sociable.

sometimes he can be a bit of a try hard.... he is really doing his best and i love him. him and lea and mavis all share a need to establish themselves as something greater than they are and his mainly stems from Youngest Sibling Syndrome with a side of boredom with his own life too. mavis and silas really bond over that but silas didnt really take on any escapist tendencies like mavis did. he pushes himself to take action and try many things and considers many paths.

catriona

she has a teddy bear in her room that she hides in a reading cubby because its still important but she feels that her image as Mature and Put Together matters too much to really share that soft side with others. and i think that basically sums her up as a character.

really just needs some fuckin sleep. she is fueled by various caffeinated beverages (her favorites being an overly elaborate coffee order and arizona green tea). shes articulate, but because shes usually running on 4 or 5 hours of sleep she can sometimes miss small details or starts talking faster than her own thoughts+stumbling over her own words.

shes a bit suspicious of other people because shes had her trust tested a lot. catriona is very like kind and warm still though its just that like... you know. if you wrong her its very hard to win her back and she likely wont trust you with anything again.

shes also much more of a “fix it” kind of person when it comes to problems. she will absolutely provide a shoulder to cry on when you need it but at the end of the day she provides very practical support by trying to provide options. she takes the same approach with her own feelings too.

kirabo

basically like “*softly* dont”. they are very cautious and dont take a lot of risks unless theyre absolutely sure that it will work out and there will be a benefit. however, theyre still optimistic and theyre always able to see the best in other people and in any situation. not really in that toxic kind of positivity way... but as in like they are able to appreciate the small things and whatnot

^ that world view is basically why they are so into botany. its very precise but its something small that you can really appreciate and see your own success in little by little. they also like arts and crafts.

they are incredibly diplomatic despite their initial virgo stubbornness. theyre really open to other perspectives and theyre very patient/understanding. kirabo and catriona are basically opposites in this respect and so they balance eachother out a lot here.... they are like bestest buds.

they are very big on like Emotionally Productive Self Care. kirabo WILL put on a face mask and will be like “dont @ me i am chillin”. and they will be like “enough is enough i am going to knit a fucking scarf a second”. they just have a lot of little hobbies to keep them busy like that because they are super fidgety. anxious energy... the mercury-ism

minka

absolutely hates being underestimated in any capacity. minka is fully aware of her intelligence and capabilities and expresses no qualms with it whatsoever. alot of her insecurity ends up lying in her social life and etc. shes just been through a lot and really just wants to share her passions with other people.

really likes to decorate and APPEARS messy but is super organized. she has that sort of “chaotic order” thing going on where she can locate something even if its under a huge pile of random stuff. she has lots of stickers and lots of color-coding methods too.

will do the “are we there yet” thing and the “why? why? why?” thing. mostly out of curiosity to see how far she can go. she is always so curious about how far she can go with everything. so once she finds company she basically never wants to be alone. shes very talkative and inquisitive.

a baby bi.... she is still figuring it out a little though

lea

a little >:3c and i like love that for her. she has a lot of charisma and energy and those are things that she really NEEDS TO HAVE with being a video game streamer and all but deep down shes just really mischievous and playful too.

i consider her a vriska by technicality. she has a lot of issues revolving around her identity and how people perceive her because so much of the time she deals with people projecting an idea of what shes like onto her. so alot of her thing is allowing herself to just be rather than feeling like she needs to put on a show.

^ shes actually probably one of the hardest people to read in the cast because of that. its not that shes not being herself... its just that she feels like she needs to be a pretty altered version of herself. the neptune in 1st struggle. she also kind of tends to have one foot out the door on everything but it makes her very adaptable. pretty much opposite to mavis in that its hard for her to settle down in any sense.

has a scorpio mercury but a libra venus so basically like “good luck my deep lovecore affections for you will be hidden behind several proxies”. also it just makes it to where she comes off very Intense at first as is the scorpio placement way. but really its fucking great and i love her.

trinity

well theyre a scorpio sun AND a scorpio moon aka theyre like “i will know everything about you but you will never know anything about me ever” and also theyre like *rebirth* *rebirth* *rebirth*

despite what the emotional constipation and capricorn rising may tell you they are seriously A Lot. they make very quick decisions based on any instantaneous assumptions that they have so deep down theyre just very emotional and impulsive. AND intuitive which is partially because they are analytical of others but all around theyre mostly guided by like Vibez.

their precognition is kind of like if you randomly started having dreams during the day and only saw them through your left eye. so more than anything they get kind of like... weird deja vu when they talk to people or go to places that theyve seen in their visions.

really they are just like. okay in theory by first impression they would be a vriska but in actuality they are a rose lalonde because like. come on. theres a certain self-aware yet chaotic and dramatic and repressed je ne sais quoi here

[bi-dazai]

2000 words on soukoku romance-coding in episode 26

i’ve talked a lot on here about how there’s a lot of romance-coding in the canon content featuring dazai and chuuya. here’s a rundown of my base theories here

i didnt add this in my original above post, but ill say now that diegetically chuuya and dazai are usually quite levelheaded and manipulative - both are the two youngest port mafia executives in history. even when dazai is annoyed with other characters (such as kunikida or atsushi) it is clear that he is play-acting. chuuya, meanwhile, is extremely level-headed and doesnt get upset at all - even when yosano and kenji appeared heavily armed. dazai is only slightly upset by shibusawa and dostoyevsky. the only person to genuinely get a rise out of both chuuya and dazai are each other. even so, their arguing has, from the beginning, been petty on the surface, yet upon reading into dialogue and animated/written/illustrated facial expressions show deep hurt at each others actions, particularly on their 4 year separation and dazai covering up his loyalty to chuuya by betraying his trust in episode 21.

i have two more points to add on concerning their non-diegetic relationship. firstly, that official merchandise and posters almost always depict chuuya and dazai either ogling each other (theres a trend of dazai ogling chuuya’s ass in particular) or doing something romantic together (for example there’s a poster where they are depicted hanging around together with no other characters near a christmas tree - christmas is considered a romantic holiday in japan. the same coding is given to many canon fictional couples in japan, and to another studio bones production pairing in bnha kiribaku, which has a similar level of gaycoding).

the second non-diegetic point you should understand about soukoku: it’s one of the most popular ships in japan, and japan’s anime industry tends to be a lot more open about showing same-sex relationships/gay-coding than the west is.

--- 

and for a note on my authorship - i admit that i do ship soukoku, and that this gives me a bias. i am also bisexual and am much more sensitive to noticing homoeroticism than many straight audiences. however, to counter this point id like to clarify that it takes a lot to make me believe a same-sex ship has even the slightest chance of being canon. also, id like to say that i am an author in my second year of a creative writing degree and my first year of a film studies minor. these degrees both involve analysing text within production and authorial context (a lot...). in my free time i read a lot of papers and articles on the production context and general views of lgbt representation in different countries’ media, in particular the usa, australia, and japan. i consume every piece of media i view with an intensely critical eye and i specialise in connected diegetic elements with non-diegetic elements in terms of production, authorial, and social context

---

*NOTE* im going to be doing things out of order here for no other reason than that i realised them in that order as i thought about the episode analytically

today i want to talk about something extremely specific that came up in episode 26, and it has to do with the use of symbolism and shot composition. it’s just a short, short sequence but to me it speaks volumes, both for their canon relationship and their coded romantic relationship.

specifically this sequence. this is just one shot and to me it portrays soukoku’s dynamic as explicitly romantic in a mise-en-scene sense.

before we like to go in, id like to clarify that the dialogue doesnt matter - it’s mainly expository stuff.

the first sc is the first shot we see of dazai and chuuya ‘alone’ in this scene. it’s unclear where mori is exactly. even though mori is clearly orchestrating the two of them and this entire scene’s dialogue, he isn’t in this shot until the very end. this defines the soukoku relationship, as well as their first meeting being entirely incidental, as being something that was supposedly orchestrated by mori but on a deeper level something they created and grow themselves. it is their relationship from the beginning, not mori’s. even though we know that mori is orchestrating this, we are told that this story will be about chuuya and dazai, not mori’s plans. along with that, it’s also the first shot of open sky we get in this scene, and it’s with just chuuya and dazai looking at each other, silent. it’s open and refreshing and new, but there’s something there already - which i will discuss now.

so. let’s talk about the vapour trail. the vapour trail has no real relationship to the scene or story at all. it would be perfectly logical to just place clouds here, or even place the vapour trail somewhere else. but this vapour trail is very specifically placed to form an arrow to comes from dazai’s heart and reaches towards chuuya, passing over mori’s head narrowly. mori watches the trail, dazai and chuuya watch each other. mori knows the middle part - that they will be tied together to be a device of violence of his own making. but at the other ends dazai and chuuya are tied together in a way that goes above and below mori’s knowledge. this symbolises their future together, and indicates a subtextual level to their dynamic.

the choice i want to focus on here, however, is the choice to have this arrow reach from dazai’s heart. as a writer, if i was trying to symbolise the general strategic soukoku dynamic i would have this arrow go from dazai’s head (the brains) to chuuya (the recipient and conductor of dazai’s plans). in fact, i have a dynamic im writing right now that is similar to this, in which one is defense and one is agility. however, these two also end up in a same-sex romantic relationship together later on. in order to code and foreshadow this, as well as add romantic subtext, often when using symbology i adjust my symbols to fit a romantic context subtly. as an author myself, this shot is a clear hint of adjusted symbolism in order to code dazai’s feelings for chuuya.

and if i’m to read further, i would even say that the fact that the arrow flies over chuuya’s head suggests that dazai currently has romantic feelings for chuuya that chuuya does not yet return (but comes to, something that i have discussed in my linked post above).

---

secondly, tumblr user @cream-and-punishment made a fun joke post about dazai and chuuya “exchanging wedding vows” at their first meeting. firstly, it’s funny as fuck and when i first saw the post my reaction was just “haha it does sound like that!”. however, i keep looking at that post, keep returning to the script and that scene, and my reaction is now “wow. it does sound like that. like. exactly what soukoku wedding vows sound like. huh.”

for the lazy here’s the script (translated by the funimation subtitle team):

Dazai: You’re a cocky, overconfident child. You’re the kind of person I hate the most.

Chuuya: And I hate condescending pricks like you more than anything in this world.

and because im thorough, i ignored my english subs and listened the original japanese script as well (with my limited japanese to basically check for anything that could be translated differently or means something in japanese that is culturally untranslatable). what i found was that the english subs are right, and capture the original lines quite well.

dialogue can function as a tool for multiple results. in this two-line exchange, neither of the lines are meant as views into the character’s true interiors. instead, the purpose of this interchange is meant to be foreshadowing, specifically into the fact that this is how chuuya and dazai spend the rest of their relationship (up until the current point in the canon manga plot) expressing their opinion towards each other. it mirrors the kind of dialogue we see in episode 10 in which dazai and chuuya’s dialogue works as exposition for their past and their base dynamic, and here it is used to foreshadow what is considered backstory in the main plot (if that makes any sense?).

however, chuuya’s response to dazai is where im interested. im gonna pull my writer’s card here and say that if i was, again, just foreshadowing hatred and frustration as well as cooperation, i would cut chuuya’s line to something like this:

Chuuya: And I hate condescending pricks like you the most/just as much/etc.

“more than anything in this world”, of course, could just be incidental. but considering how a lot of soukoku’s dialogue is clearly double-entendre (read my original post linked above), it makes me consider a second option: that we are already putting that romantic double-entendre into their dynamic. if we refer to the future soukoku dynamic, in particular in episode 21, we are shown multiple times that chuuya genuinely cares for dazai’s well-being (secondary to rimbaud’s hat of course hahaha). chuuya would be genuinely upset if dazai died, and its implied (though still up to interpretation as opposed to the explicitness of chuuya’s shown feelings, however i would argue that dead apple is fairly explicit in dazai’s trust and feelings) the vice versa is also true.

going off that, often how both of them express concern for each other is by making ‘hateful’ comments towards each other. in episode 9, it’s clear there is uncomfortable tension in the room. there is 4 years of unspoken confusion lingering and chuuya is clearly, clearly upset. so dazai, in referencing an unchanging nature of what makes them them, calls back to one of his first mocking entries - how short chuuya is. it’s funny and it’s mocking, but the blows they trade are familiar and even when theyre brawling, despite being on opposite sides they take genuine pleasure in each others company. considering both of their personalities and histories as well as their trauma, both of them tend to struggle with interpersonal relationships and opening up. but chuuya and dazai canonically feel comfortable with each other, and know how to read each other well enough to both bounce off each other while also understanding what lies beneath.

so when chuuya says something like “i hate you more than anything in this world” we are pulled back to the present (in the plot), where chuuya says these things but moments later is concerned or worried for dazai’s wellbeing. chuuya in this line prioritises dazai as the foremost person in his life within minutes of meeting each other. diegetically (to the characters) we know this is them exchanging tense negotiation. non-diegetically (to what we know of the script and their future, as well as this entire exchange being mostly foreshadowing), we are clearly meant to interpret this to mean that chuuya will, eventually, hold dazai to be incredibly important to him, and vice versa. 

of course, we also have the fact that the phrase “more than anything in this world” is yet another soukoku romantic double-entendre. as i mentioned with things such as “the silent treatment” and mentioning drinking heavily when someone abruptly leaves you, it’s clear that these are used almost entirely as romantic tropes. i’ve discussed this before so i wont get too much into it, but just say that this scene adds yet another line to that long list of soukoku double-entendres.

---

considering at least the first 3 episodes will be related to exploring the soukoku backstory, ill be trying to post an analytic of soukoku for each episode of the 15 adaptation. furthermore, these posts won’t be explicitly about the potential of canon romantic chuuya/dazai, but will analyse soukoku scenes in a focus that i see fit for each episode. whether this is examining it like this post again, or examining it for foreshadowing or cinematographic details etc, will be decided once i watch each episode.

anyway lol! yet another rambling analytical of something nobody cares about haha

[thearrangment-phff]

LXV.

September 2018

“Archduchess Isabella and Prince Harry have been in Switzerland since the beginning of the month with The Duchess of Sussex’ family. The two were spotted at the wedding of Archduke Franz Ludwig to Mathilde Vignon. Archduke Franz Ludwig is a first cousin of The Duchess. A vast number of Habsburg and Bourbon royals were also in attendance.”

“King Philippe and Queen Mathilde of Belgium along with the Grand Ducal couple of Luxembourg, Hereditary Prince Alois and Princess Sofie of Liechtenstein will attend the Heads of State of German-speaking countries get together in Switzerland. Many believe that Archduchess Isabella will attend as a guest of her uncle and aunt, the Grand Duke and Duchess of Luxembourg.” 

“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are expected to stay in Switzerland until the mass to commemorate the 25th anniversary of King Baudouin of the Belgians’ death in Brussels. The Belgian royal court confirmed The Duke and Duchess of Sussex would be attending. King Baudouin was the great-uncle of Archduchess Isabella and his wife, Queen Fabiola of the Belgians was her godmother. Archduchess Isabella’s eldest son The Earl of Ross who was born earlier this year carries the name Baudouin in honor of his great-grand-uncle, the former Belgian King.”  

“Where is your father?” asked Yolande to Isabella.

“I have no idea,” answered Isabella.

“I’ll go find him,” said Marie Astrid as she left the room to find her husband.

“Are we going to be late?” asked Harry.

“I don’t think so. My grandmother made us all get ready an hour earlier than everyone else,” replied Isabella.

“So we’ll be early?”

“Yes.”

“Belle, darling, can you help me stand up?” asked Yolande. Isabella went to her grandmother extending her hand. The elder women leaned on Isabella’s hand and got up. She walked towards Harry and patted his chest because that’s how far she could reach, “How are you?”

“Uh... fine,” answered Harry.

“While Charlie and Bertie are a dream, I only have 15 great-grandchildren with Kathy, Luisa, and Marie Christine’s children coming soon. When are you and Belle going to give me more great-grandchildren?”

“Wait. Did you just say, Luisa? She’s expecting?!” asked Isabella.

“Did you not know?” asked Yolande.

“No! I didn’t. How far along is she?”

“6 weeks possibly, maybe 8. I can’t remember Belle! I’m an old ask your mother.”

“How many people knew before I did?” asked Isabella.

“Well, obviously Luisa and Alex, me and your parents. The royal house is going to make an announcement soon,” answered Yolande.

“Will the baby be in line for the Belgian throne then?” asked Harry.

“Yes! All descendants of Albert are in the line. Since Alexander and Luisa got permission to marry from the king and government her children are the only ones in line. Remember Amedeo didn’t get permission to marry Elisabetta,” explained Yolande.

“I can’t believe he is finally having a baby. Everyone finally has a family of their own,” smiled Isabella.

Before anyone else could say anything Isabella’s aunt and her family came in. The Liechtenstein family of five said hello to Yolande, Isabella, and Harry as soon as they entered the room.

“How are you?” asked Margaretha to Yolande.

“Wonderful! 2 new babies, with Kathleen due soon and Christine in December. It’s all so wonderful. Alex and Luisa are also expecting so it’s all very exciting,” beamed Yolande.

“Yes, all very exciting. If only mine could give me some grandchildren,” joked Margaretha and her children all seemed to roll their eyes at the same time.

“I don’t think we were supposed to say anything about Alex and Luisa Mamie,” interjected Isabella.

“We’re family,” spoke Marie Astrid, Isabella’s cousin.

“I think he wanted to tell us all together, another time. Probably when we’re all in France at the end of the month,” added Josef-Emanuel.

“Josef is right. We can’t mention this to Alex. It’s his and Luisa’s special moment,” nodded Isabella

“So lets me get this right. Kathleen in October, Marie Christine in December, and Alexander in spring? Of course, Charlie and Bertie were born 4 months ago... that’s a lot of kids born in a short time,” said Harry.

“It’s the joys of growing up in a large family. You can all have kids around the same time,” smiled Marie Astrid.

“We better get going,” interrupted Nikolaus, Isabella’s uncle by marriage.

“Are you coming with us?” asked Margaretha.

“Not yet. Marie Astrid went to go find my son. Once they come back, we’ll go.”

“Well, we’ll see you at the church then,” smiled Margaretha. One by one, the Liechtenstein family said bye to everyone with kisses on the cheek and half-done hugs.

It took a couple of seconds until Harry asked a question, “Where are the rest of your brothers and sisters?”

“Marie Christine, Imre, Christoph, and Gabriella don’t really go to these things. They prefer to stay out of the view of cameras. Usually, Alexander does too but since he married Luisa he’ll have to be more in the spotlight. He’s here, he’s just with her and the Austria-Este family,” answered Isabella.

“Why didn’t more people come?” asked Harry.

“Many people did but some of them have real jobs and not ones were in ‘work’ for an hour a week.”

“That felt like an insult.”

“Not an insult. Just stating facts,” replied Isabella.

“Belle!” Isabella turned around to find Charlotte walking steadily towards her with the rest of her family behind her.

“Charlotte! Hi!” Charlotte towered over Isabella when giving her a hug, “Ferdinand?”

“Hi Belle.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I invited him,” answered Charlotte.

“Yes. I got that, but... are you two a thing?”

“Well... yes. It hasn’t been long,” answered Charlotte.

“And you invited him here?” asked Isabella.

“Ferdinand means a lot to me so I thought inviting him to this would show that.”

“Charlotte, I’m not judging you. I would be the last person to do so. Ferdinand is family and you are as well. It was simply a surprise that’s all,” replied Isabella.

Isabella’s parents Carl Christian and Marie Astrid finally entered the room, “He couldn’t find his tie anywhere.”

“Tie? You are making us late over a tie?” asked Yolande.

“The king gave it to me. I wanted to wear it today,” answered Carl Christian.

“We should get going. We don’t want to be late,” said Yolande earning nods from around the room.

The car ride was short from the castle to the church. Yolande, Harry, Isabella, Marie Astrid, and Carl Christian had ridden in one car while Guillaume, Sibilla, Charlotte, Leopold, and Paul Louis in the other. When they got out of the car, Harry could swear the screams got louder. There was that thought again. The one about how Isabella changed his life once they married. Years ago, would he have imagined himself at a Catholic church in Brussels paying his respects to a dead Belgian King surrounded by the Belgian, Luxembourgish, and Liechtenstein royal families? Of course not.

Harry was now on friendly terms with the Belgian king and Luxembourgish Grand Duke since the beginning of his marriage. King Philippe was a godfather to his son, Isabella was a godmother to the king’s youngest daughter. Queen Fabiola was godmother to Isabella. The ties were never going away and they were all Harry’s. He had spent years in the shadow of his elder brother seeing how William was the future king and Harry was the spare. But things had changed, Isabella had changed him.

Isabella smiled back at the crowd but no waving because she saw that as disrespectful at an event like this. Harry looked back at the crowd for a couple of seconds before turning back to Isabella and her family. Liechtenstein, Austria, and Luxembourg all within a couple of feet of him.

“Harry, come on. We have to go find our seats,” said Isabella with Charlotte by her side.

Harry took one last look and went inside. The service lasted about an hour and a half. The Royal Family and the other guests gathered at the Royal Crypt where all the former Kings and Queens of the Belgians who have passed away are buried. The King and Queen laid a wreath at the grave of King Baudouin and Queen Fabiola. Isabella let out a single tear when she saw the picture of her great-aunt and great-uncle on their tomb.

“Are you okay?” asked Harry.

“Yes. It’s just that I wished they both lived a little longer, that’s all.”

They met with the public in which Harry and Isabella were paired next to King Philippe and Queen Mathilde. Grand Duke Henri and Prince Louis left immediately after laying the wreath so they could get back to Luxembourg. There were a lot of questions from the public to Harry and Isabella since their sons were 4 months old now.

“Your Imperial Highness, how does it feel to be back in Belgium?”

“Wonderful. Belgium has always felt like another home to me.”

“Prince Harry! How are the twins?!”

“They are strong. Big boys thanks to their mother,” joked Harry.

“Your Majesty how does it feel to be godfather to the Earl of Ross?!”

“Very honored. Belle is godmother to my Eleonore and being godfather to Charlie is a blessing.”

Of course after everything the press went wild with their stories. The ones who annoyed Isabella the most were saying that she and Harry didn’t belong in Belgium and William and Kate should have been there instead.

“They are my family! Mine! I had every right to be there!” yelled Isabella.

“Of course you do Belle-”

“Those stupid little nothings make money off of my name. I have the ties to Europe, not Harry!”

“Exactly why-”

“No! God, I am sick and tired of them saying that I married the 6th in line! I brought back royalty to this family. Me! Nothing but a bunch of ungrateful people who would rather have commoners as their king than gods” ranted Isabella.

“That is enough Isabella! Quiet down before you say else something you’ll regret,” warned Harry.

“These are the times I regret marrying you! You and your peasant family have been nothing but a thorn in my side,” argued Isabella.

Princess Charlotte of Murat took this opportunity to slap Isabella across the face, “Your husband is right. While you gave him blood, he gave you validity. You would be good to remember that.”

Princess Christine, Countess Gaelle, and Countess Olympia were left speechless. Gaelle was the first to act by putting her arm around Isabella, “I think it’s time for prayer-”

“No! I will not be praying to some stupid imaginary thing I don’t believe in. Not anymore!” yelled Isabella.

“What she needs is a drink,” interrupted Olympia.

“No. She will have no more alcohol. I don’t want that,” said Harry.

“I won’t be going back to London or Balmoral with you.”

“Where do you think you’ll go?” asked Harry.

“Zeno’s christening is at the end of the month. I’ll be at Berg castle with my family until then. We were supposed to go to France with my family after that and I’ll be right with them,” answered Isabella.

“You will not do that Isabella. You have spent too much time outside of London. You haven’t been doing anything but seeking refugee with your family since Charlie and Bertie were born. You need to do more.”

“Maybe I should just divorce you now and end my misery before I hang myself in our children’s room,” threatened Isabella.

“You will do no such thing!” yelled Charlotte as she went to Isabella and grabbed her face, “You are a stupid little girl and I will be damned if I let you ruin everything.”

“Charlotte let her go!” yelled Christine.

Charlotte continued her hold on Isabella’s face, “You will do what all your betters have done before you. You will give birth to all the little royal babies your body will handle and die in this marriage. Do you understand me?”

Isabella ripped her face out of Charlotte’s grasp, “You were nothing before me. I gave you importance so don’t talk to me like you better. You married for a title, you married for money, but I was not an impoverish countess, I am an Archduchess of Austria.”

“I’ve had enough of this. I am going back to London and I have engagements in the Netherlands in a week. I would hope that you would come but at this point, I would rather you not. I’m taking the boys back with me to London,” explained Harry.

“The boys need me. I am their mother,” argued Isabella.

“You aren’t breastfeeding them anymore. They don’t need you and besides you rarely ever took take them, Gaelle and Olympia did.” Harry walked away and Isabella grabbed the nearest thing and threw it in his direction. The glass shattered on the wall near his face and he flinched, “Did you really just do that? You are unbelievable Isabella!”

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Who’s Crushing on the New Manager? [7]

Monsta X

Im Changkyun (I.M)/Reader [F]

Words: 3.5k

Genre: Fluff

Others: Intro / Shownu / Wonho / Minhyuk / Kihyun / Hyungwon / Jooheon / IM

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m Y/N, I’ll be in your care.” 

Her voice was just as soft and warm as her smile.  It didn’t take much, but those few seconds.  He already knew that that soft fluttering in his stomach was none other than a small crush, ready to blossom into so much more.

Changkyun quietly cleared his throat as he cupped his fist over his mouth, eyes widening a fraction before looking away from you before his cheeks warmed a bit too much.  He listened to you talking to the official next to you as he introduced him to you.

“The Maknae here is pretty shy when it comes to cute girls, don’t misunderstand him,” Changkyun heard the official tell you with a slightly chuckle in his voice.  Changkyun looked at him quickly, glaring a bit.

“I am not shy.” You chuckled at his hissing reply as the official just waved him off and with a few more words to you, left you two alone.  You bowed towards him before turning towards the youngest member of the team in which you’re now in charge of.  You only kept eye contact with him for a brief moment before he slightly shifted it to look at your chin instead, proving the fact that he was indeed shy.

“Well,” you started, “you may be a shy one, but I’m not the prettiest, so you’ll grow out of that real quick.”  Changkyun looked up to your eyes for a moment once again, ready to deny what you said, as you were probably the most beautiful person he’s had the pleasure of laying his eyes on, but once again was shied away.  

“So, the guys?” He questioned as he motioned behind him, turning slightly to signal that he was ready to take you back to them.  You nodded as he started off, you trailing after him.  Changkyun kept running through different ways he could try and start a conversation, but every one was deemed unacceptable by him, and by the time he realized it, they stood in front of the studio doors.

He grabbed the knob, turned it and opened it without hesitation, and let out a laugh as he looked at the chaos going on inside, but with his laughter there was a bit of cringe worthy emotion that made him want to just shut the door like he never opened it.

Minhyuk was running around, chasing Jooheon for God knows why.  Hyungwon was sitting on the couch, seemingly normal, until you notice the lump that is under his rear was most definitely not the couch, but Wonho’s back.  The younger boy pushing the older into the cushions. Shownu himself looking glum as he rested his head on the table; seemingly done with his team of children he had no control over at the moment.  And Kihyun had emerged dramatically with his iPad in his hand, belting a note that was stable, but coming from him, was rusty in sound.  

Changkyun had half a mind to run in and join the chaotic mess that is his Hyungs, but didn’t, or rather, was stopped before anything could even begin to happen.  He heard a clearing of a throat before he was jumping away from you and covering his ears in a sudden rush of fear from the noise you just produced into the room.  

You took a breath and, with all your might, pushed your voice out to scream at the highest octave your throat could take.  It was almost effortless to create a scream that sounded like it just came out of a horror movie, being a female with a higher voice range did wonders sometimes.  Once you let your scream rip and spread into the room, the chaos turned to panic.

Jooheon, who was originally running from Minhyuk, screamed at your scream as he then ran towards the chaser and clung to him.  Minhyuk frantically looked around until he saw the girl at the door with Changkyun.  Wonho basically threw Hyungwon off his back as Hyungwon jumped and fell unceremoniously to the floor before scrambling to get up.  Kihyun threw his iPad on the, now unoccupied, couch as his body jolted and covered his ears.  All while Shownu just jumped in his chair, and looked up, seeing you screaming.  

Once you cut your voice off, there was silence.  All eyes were on you and Changkyun, who stood next to you still, uncovered his ears and just looked at you.  Your face proud, happy and smiling.  You looked at all their faces, from the floor, to the duos hugging, to the man in the chair, all wearing the same expression.  You looked at Changkyun, to see the same face as the others: pure terror mixed with an overall emotion that just screamed “why?”.  

“What?” You spoke to Changkyun. He just gave you this look asking why the hell you decided to do that.  “I needed to get your attention.”  

“A different solution didn’t present itself to you for the few seconds you were standing in the doorway?”  

“You know, that’s the most you’ve spoken to me since you picked me up.”  

“That, most certainly, is not the point right now.”  

The members watched the two of you went back and forth before Jooheon, who still held onto Minhyuk, piped up.

“Um, so uh-”  you looked at him as you smiled, like you didn’t just verbal attack everyone’s senses and second nature on what to do when they’re faced with sudden danger.  

“Oh, I’m Y/N.  I’ll be your new manager starting today.”  

“She also happens to be a banshee apparently,” Changkyun piped up, earning a small swat from you, which he bent out of the way from.  

“Just because you’re talking to me now doesn't mean you can be smart.  I’m still older than you.”  After the small spat, the members all took their time to introduce themselves, as well as make you promise not to scream like that unless you’re being mugged in an alleyway and need help, because they didn’t want to go through that sudden panic again.  After promising with amusement not to do it again, things fell into place. You’re dramatic scream seemed to be a pretty useful icebreaker.

------------------------------

It had been 8 months since you started working with the boys. It was currently a busy afternoon for you, sitting in the passenger side of the van the boys take, scribbling away on your notebook on what do add and remove from their online schedule that was on your laptop you had stupidly forgotten back at your apartment. Your headphones were on your head, but turned up just enough that if someone needed you, you could hear mumbles and take them off to properly hear them.  You were taping your pen on your paper as you grabbed your phone to check the time when you heard a faint knocking to your right.

Sure enough, Changkyun was stood outside the locked van door, knocking on the window.  He waved to you slightly as you pulled your headphone down around to rest on your neck, and rolled the window down.  

“Yes?”

“Coffee time, my girl.”  You didn’t know how, but the shy boy who turned into a joking Maknae when you first met turned into practically your best friend.  The remnants of the shy boy who wouldn’t even keep eye contact with you was completely washed out by the natural, witty and clever Changkyun.

“Is it already noon?”

“Yes, now get out of the vaaan.”  He whined as he stomped around by the door, making you scoff and roll your eyes.  You checked the time, and watched as the 11:59 turned to 12.  You shut your book, stuffing it in your bag as you unlocked the door and stepped out, slinging said bag on your back now.

Changkyun and you had a ‘tradition’, as he called it.  After the first few months of you being with them, he had ran into you on his day off at a small little hole-in-the-wall cafe not many people know about on the second floor of a corner buildling.  He decided to crash your party and the two of you sat talking for at least 3 hours, losing track of time.  So, after you both enjoyed it, you did it again and again and soon Changkyun was meeting you, or taking you, to the cafe at least 2 times a week.  

“It’s tradition now, every Tuesday and Thursday are cafe days,” you still remembered when you tried to tell him you were busy on a Tuesday and so you ended up going with him after he marched to your apartment and drug you out.  It was nice to get out and enjoy some coffee or a tea or even a pastry if you were feeling like treating yourself, even if you were busy.  

As you two walked, you talked about different, random topics.  To stupid politics, to opinions on how mosquitoes are misunderstood insects, to even how toes are just different colored dwarf potatoes stuck on human feet.

When the two of you arrived, you went to grab the table you two always sat at, the one in the corner with a giant fake plant and a window.  He already knew what you wanted, and insisted on paying this time, so you decided to let him.  As you sat and waited, Changkyun watched you, smiling as you pulled your notebook out again.  

The familiar woman at the desk only smiled at him as he approached the counter.

“Same as usual?”

“Of course.”  He smiled to her as she punched in what they always got, and asked for his money, which he handed over.  He moved for the next person and stood away to wait.  He wished you knew how much these days meant to him.  

These hour, or so days where you just sit with him at a table and drink coffee while you rant, or he rants, or even if there’s just silence, is something he didn’t know what he’d do without anymore. They were relaxing, heart warming, and tension relieving.  It wasn’t really a secret that he liked you, but he wanted little to no one finding out because then he’d never hear the end of it.

Then again, if someone were to ask him about it, he wouldn’t deny it.  That’s how Jooheon found out anyways.  He was playfully teasing him on day as he stopped by his studio and saw him stop working to text someone every so often. 

“What, you texting Y/N?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Jeez, you don’t hesitate to reply to her, but you keep us on read for like hours.  I’m starting to think you like her.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“.... Wait, seriously?”

“Oh shit,” and from there, it was an hour long interrogation and multiple promises from him not to blab his mouth out to everyone about it.  He made him pinky promise as well as swear on different things he loved that he wouldn’t tell anyone, because all he wanted was a simple life; one where he wasn’t getting teased or poked fun at because he’s got a crush on his manager.

As he took your drinks and walked to the table, he watched as you scribbled yet something else down, replacing it with a different set of words.  He silently considered these small outings as dates, even if they weren’t, it was a nice thing to imagine at least.

“It seemed like a coffee over tea day,” he told you as he set your coffee in front of you.  “And this can go away for a while too,” he shut your notebook and slid it towards himself as he sat down, putting it in the chair next to him and finally plucking your pen from your hand. You thanked him and the two of you began your usual chatter.

The hour passed by, once again, too quickly for either of you as you two stood, him giving you back your book to stuff away and toss your empty cups before you left.  On the way back, he watched as you went to head back to the van to grab a few things before following him to set, so he followed.  

While you dug around in the van Changkyun leaned on the door, keeping it open. Getting what you needed, the two of you were off to set.  The day went as it would from there, working, shooting, make up, props until the boys finished, stripped from the stylist clothes and into their own before piling into the van.  

They all said goodbyes and goodnights to you, as you had your own way back to your home. Jooheon had picked you up, swinging you around as he said goodbye, earning a slight shove from Changkyun as he set you down and piled into the van.  

“No need to shove.” You chuckled at him as he hugged you last.  

“He thinks he can outshine my world class hugs.”  

“Trust me, you’re hugs are the best.  Well, maybe Hyunwoo’s are pretty close, buutt, you know”

“I’m the best and you so know it.  Don’t lie to yourself like that.”  You laughed at him as he hugged you one more time and piled in last.  With a final wave to them, you shut the van door and watched them drive off as you adjusted your bag and walked to the nearest bus stop to your apartment.

The next day was a day off for you and the guys, but after talking with Hyunwoo to make sure they were resting, you found out that Changkyun had moved to his studio for a while to work on some songs.  You figured he would, this was typical of him.  Always wanting to work on music, even when he should be resting.  

You got dressed, and headed over to his studio, but not before picking up something for him to at least snack on while he worked.  He had a tunnel vision while he worked, forgetting to eat and even pushing off going to the bathroom as long as possible.  He once called you to get your opinion on something and he ended up telling you he had to pee so bad it was starting to hurt.

When you got there, jacket on and plastic bag in hand, you punched in the code to get inside and shut the door behind you.  He had his headphones on, as you just walked up to him and set the bag next to him on the desk, making him jump a bit.  He turned in his swiveled chaired and let out a breath at seeing you and not some maniac. He pulled his headphones down as you smiled to him.

“Hyunwoo said you were working, so have some snacks.”  He took the bag and poked around it in, pleased with the selection you presented to him.

“What a goddess.”

“Yes, I am.  Thank you for noticing.” You peeled off your jacket in the warm room and sat on the small cushioned chair he had over against the wall, even slipping off your shoes.  Even if he was busy, you know that he’d enjoy just knowing he had company.  “What you working on?”

He cleared his throat, almost coughing as he just sniffed to make it seem his throat hurt and turned to the computer, “it’s... a secret.”

“Secrets are forbidden in this friendship Kyun.”  

“Well, deal with it.” You just rolled your eyes as you pulled out your phone and he slipped his headphones back on.  You wished he had a crappy pair that let you hear the sounds even if they were on, but to no avail.  

It was only 20 minutes into your visit when you heard him move his headphones down again and turn to look at you, lounged on the chair.  Legs over one of the arm rests, sitting sideways and your back resting on the other.  

“I’ll be back, gotta pee.”  You scoffed as you thanked him for the tidbit of information and he left.  You hopped up quickly as you plopped into his chair and put his headphones on.  He opened the window he had minimized and began to listen to it.  Whatever he was hiding you’d listen to and you were already ready to be met with some sick beats, but no.  That wasn’t what you were listening to at all.  

You were surprised to hear him talking into the mic, maybe trying out lyrics for a rap?  But, they didn’t seem like something he’d rap to.  You knew he sang for fun sometimes, but they just didn’t seem like lyrics.  It was like something he did just to talk.  He was literally talking to himself, and you figured you should stop as it would be an invasion of privacy, but then you heard your name.  

Your curiosity got the best of you so you sat straighter in the chair and pushed the cups of the headphones closer to your ear as you listened.  As you listened, he was pouring out all of his feelings, almost like he was confessing.  But, that’s exactly what it was.  It was him confessing that he liked you, almost too much as he put it.  He loved your coffee ‘dates’ every Tuesday and Thursday and they always cheered him up and gave him something to look forward too when things sucked.  

He explained about how he thought the way you scrunch your nose when Minhyuk would come to you with a lame joke, or how you would swat at Kihyun when he picked on Jooheon, making you protect the younger boy from the older what too cute for words sometimes.  He also said that he didn’t like that he was jealous over the others at times because they got more time with you, or they got to hug you more than him or whatever the reason may be.  He knew he shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t help it.  

He was pouring his heart out all to vent into this one voice recording on his computer and by the time it cut off, you heard the door click open as you pulled the headphones off and turned in the chair to see him, now just gawking at you in his chair and his headphones around your neck.  His eyes flashed up to the open voice recording window as he seemed horror-struck.

“You didn’t… did you?”

“Um, yes?”

“You just can't keep your nose out of my computer, can you?” He didn’t say it in a mean, angry tone like you were expecting.  Instead he seemed to joke with it, as he shut the door behind him and crossed his arms. He seemed so calm and cool headed about it.  You, on the other hand, were floundering on what to do, or what to say.  You just sputtered out what may have been words, or just random noises as you pointed to the computer, then to him and then to yourself as he just walked towards you.

He grabbed the back of the chair, turning you to face him as he leaned down towards you, his hands on both of the arm rests, practically trapping you in the chair unless you slid down the leather seat of it like a liquid. Which maybe you would’ve done if you weren’t froze in place.

“Well,” he tilted his head a bit with a smile, “now that you know, how about we go on a real date then?”  You started sputtered again, as he just rolled his eyes. “It’s a simple yes or no sweetheart.”  You kicked at his shin, making him wince as you then flicked at his forehead.  He groaned at his sore shin and now tingling forehead. “What was all the for?”

“That was for making me sound like I can’t speak like an average human.”  You just pulled your knees into his chair as you started swiveling back and forth, trying to hide your practically glowing face.

“Soo, is that a yes?”  You thought about it and smiled as you nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go on a date.”  He jumped up, ecstatic.

“Really?!”  You smirked as you pushed the headphones on again.  

“Just lemme listen one more ti-” you were interrupted as the mouse was ripped from your hand and Changkyun quickly put the computer to sleep, knowing you didn’t know his password to get into it.  

“Absolutely not.  Do you know how embarrassing that was to make?”

“Awwn, how cute is that!”  

“Just go on a date with me woman!”  He left his work behind that afternoon, locking up and spent the rest of the day with you.  When he came home to the dorms that night, he ran to Jooheon’s room, jumping onto his form that laid on the bed with his phone in his hand before he rambled off.  

“Hyung, I got a girlfriend!” Jooheon gasped.

“Y/N?!”

“Hell yeah!” The two rappers celebrated his new relationship as the rest of the member’s gathered to know the news, and the next morning, when you woke up, you had spams from the group chat you were in with the guys, as well as individual texts ranging from ‘congrats’ to ‘hurt him and you die’.  You laughed as you finally read the good morning text filled with sickening sweet words all from your perfect, new, rapper boyfriend.