#books that give young kids weird gender feelings

[tozettastone]

Fantasy Novels Recommended By Vibes

A note about warnings and assumptions: I have given no content warnings, but most of these books have them, usually for violence or sexism. Except the middle grade books. I have assumed everyone knows who Tolkien and Jordan and Le Guin and GRRM are and does not require me to recommend them once more. I have also assumed that everyone following me has read and enjoyed the trashiest of fanfiction at some point or other.

Now, let's go.

"I want something that feels like reading the unhinged fanfiction of a 16 year old girl, but written by and for adults so the sex scenes don't make me feel deeply uncomfortable."

Oh boy. Okay. Don't worry, I've got you.

The Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. High fantasy. If you like to categorise things you will love the worldbuilding in this. Weird and gender essentialist, although not in the way you might expect.

The Merry Gentry series by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Degrades in quality over time. I would say: read the first two, and then continue at your discretion depending on your tolerance.

"Do you have a version of this that is not quite so focused on sex as worldbuilding?"

I do, I do. Not everything that reads like unhinged fanfiction must automatically contain smut.

A Deadly Education and The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik. It's billed as adult fantasy, but it reads like YA. If you like 2010s fanfiction and wish it were better written more often, you'll love these two.

Any book by Mercedes Lackey will read exactly like fanfiction. I make no comments as to technical quality, but if you like hurt/comfort idfic, you will like these. If you're looking for a zero-romance, one-book introduction to these books, I'd try Brightly Burning.

"That's still a bit too adult. I want something that's fine to read with kids, too!"

Sure! Fantasy loves YA and kids' books, haha.

The Dark Is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper. Middle grade fantasy, leaning heavily on English folklore.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn. Young adult urban fantasy. Concerned with the legacy of slavery in the US.

The Old Kingdom trilogy by Garth Nix. Young adult high fantasy. The pacing is strong, the worldbuilding is rad.

Tithe by Holly Black. Young adult fantasy. Her later books are better loved but I reread Tithe and then went and read The Cruel Prince for the first time this year and Tithe is better.

The Tortall books by Tamora Pierce. I like The Immortals, but reasonable minds will differ on this one. Middle grade high fantasy.

The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan. High fantasy, young adult.

"Okay, now I want young adult fantasy like that, but weird."

Weird. Hmm. Okay. Try:

The Tooth Fairy by Graham Joyce. Horror and fantasy, young adult, but not like... too young an adult. Give it to a 15 year old, not a 10 year old.

"That's... too weird. Put some weird back. I want something suitable for teens that's committed to the aesthetics of weirdness, but is not actually weird."

Alright, here are a couple:

Anatomy: A Love Story by Dana Schwartz. Historical fantasy, definitely young adult. The grizzly aesthetics of 19th century graverobbing are a gossamer veil over a cute, but not particularly sophisticated, YA novel.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Middle grade fantasy. Less weird than it thinks it is, but still fun to read.

"Enough kids' stuff. I want fast-moving urban fantasy!"

Urban fantasy occupies a weird nexus between fantasy and detective noir, which I'm kinda into. Here are my suggestions:

I think everyone who wants urban fantasy is probably aware of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, but I'll put it here anyway because there's a big fandom for the Dresden Files so if you stick it out for a bit you get access to all the fics. The first one will take you 3.5 hours and if you don't like it, move on — the writing doesn't really change. Also has a TV series.

The Felix Castor novels by Mike Carey. Urban fantasy, a little more grim, but definitely better written.

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. Urban fantasy. Main character is a police officer. I recently finished the first of these books and it was pretty fun, but I can't speak to the remainder of the series.

"Tozette, I fucking loved True Blood."

You're in luck, I can make this a whole category.

I bet you've heard of the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris already, but if you haven't, it's what the TV series was based on. Urban fantasy, but actually kind of rural.

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Another LKH series that starts fun and degrades rapidly. The first three are fun, they come in an omnibus. I was obsessed with this series when I was 17, which both is and isn't a recommendation. Again, this series has a large fandom.

Dime Store Magic and Industrial Magic by Kelley Armstrong. Urban fantasy. The rest of the Women of the Otherworld series is hit or miss for me, but I do recall liking No Humans Involved.

The Blood Books by Tanya Huff. Urban fantasy. Read if you've ever wished Harry Dresden was female. Also has a TV series!

"Do you have some traditional high fantasy recommendations that aren't Tolkien, Robert Jordan, GRRM, or Ursula K Le Guin? Please?"

Absolutely. Of course. One hundred per cent.

The Elenium trilogy by David & Leigh Eddings. High fantasy. Technically there's also a sequel trilogy, but it's not as good.

The First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie. High fantasy. Lots of high fantasy politics.

Urshurak by The Bros. Hildebrandt. High fantasy. Extremely Tolkien inspired but with more amazon women in metal bikinis.

The Books of Pellinor by Alison Croggon. High fantasy. There's four of them and while I wouldn't say they're my favourite books ever, I do think they're a solid, competently written high fantasy series that will stop you from contemplating the horrors of reality for at least three days.

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. High fantasy. A great rearrangement of European folklore. I struggled with the representations of women, personally, but they're well constructed stories.

"Recommend something that's fantasy but feels like a totally different genre."

Okay. I can do that. Here you go:

The Chronicles of the Crystal Singers of Ballybran by Anne McCaffrey. It's a trilogy that's set in space and therefore engages with a sci-fi kind of vibe, but if you scratch the surface, the trilogy is fantasy all the way down.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by HP Lovecraft. Horror, but also historical fantasy.

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde. The first three books of the Thursday Next series are gold, actually, but start here. This is about a literary detective living in an alternative history setting. Fantasy, but ideal for people who are going to get the rapid fire literary references.

"Tozette, what if you just recommend a single fantasy book, writer, or series, with your whole heart?"

My WHOLE heart? Okay. Here:

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, Johannes Cabal the Detective, and Johannes Cabal: the Fear Institute by Jonathan L Howard are each different subgenres of fantasy, and all three of them are absolute fucking bangers. They are the best books on this list according to me. I love them.

[rrat-king]

For Bee Applebees (I'll take any excuse to hear about your trans!Bucky headcanons, so please feel free to answer as many or as few of these as you like!) 🏳️‍⚧️😇👻👽💝🫂💔🪢📓👗🍫🖕

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I COULD TALK ABOUT BEE FOREVER I LOVE HER!!! (also thank you @allthecastlesonclouds for introducing me to this headcanon originally <33)

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

she is a trans girl! she uses she/her pronouns!! bee kinda always knew she was different from her brothers and the other boys in church with her, but she didn't really have a chance to understand or accept who she was until she got to aguefort and got the chance to be around different types of people and realize that difference isn't evil

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

i know a lot of folks want her to join kristen in following cassandra but i personally think that casssandra and like letting in doubt could be a part of her finding a way to worship helio in a way that feels good to her. similar to the way that tracker follows and influences galicaea, i see bee devoting herself to a reformed, more inclusive helio. we've only ever seen a very extremist standpoint of the harvestmen side of helio worship, but bee, worshipping the god of the harvest, of change and growth as a trans girl? i think thats lovely.

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

bee is so scared of the fact that their is so much that she just doesn't know. where kristen was so curious and excited coming into aguefort, bee is just scared cuz that's what she was taught to be. it's hard especially cuz she sees so much of herself in this stuff that she doesn't understand, and she was taught to hate what she doesn't understand

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs

she is super particular about stuff being designated as 'hers' especially with the amount of things that she has to share with her brothers. she has to sit in the seat behind the driver's seat in the car, she has to use her yellow plate and if she has her comic book mug that no one else is supposed to use

💝 A headcanon about their love language

she is little miss words of affirmation. a lot of her growing up was seeing her sister being so praised and cherished in the church so when someone would take a moment and give her a little bit of affirmation too she just. melts.

🫂 A friendship headcanon

she joins the gsa in sophomore year and she becomes fast freinds with torek. she's kinda obsessed with the fact that torek is not traditionally feminine by human helioic standards but still is like confidently and obviously a girl as well as torek just being cool as shit and not taking any crap.

💔 An angsty headcanon

pretty much her entire life she existed in kristen's shadow and for so long she used to wish that she could just get a little bit of that attention, that she could be *special*, but then all of a sudden kristen is gone, and she is getting that attention she thought she wanted but she realizes really quickly that it's not good attention. she has to deal with all of this pressure from her parents while realizing what her sister had been going through, and all through it she doesn't know whether to feel bad for her sister or hate her for leaving.

🪢 A headcanon about their family

her and bricker are the closest in age so they did a lot of activities together as kids just cuz it was easiest but they are such total opposites. they were on a peewee soccer team together as kids and while bee was on the field trying her best and failing miserably, bricker, who was the best kicker on the team was sitting on the sidelines eating grass. they also shared a room until kristen left and it was a constant battle between bricker who is a slob and bee who Is Not

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

she is a cub scout! she's been a scout since she was pretty young, used to be part of the kinda helioc version some folks at her church ran, but she eventually grew out of it and had to beg her parents to let her joinng the elmville scouts but they eventually let her. she loves camping, hiking, general outdoorsy stuff as well as all the folks in her troup

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

before she transitioned, she was a pretty typical polo and khakis church kid, but as she was able to wear more fem clothes and experiment a little bit, she is a lot more drawn to looser, more flowey and floral materials. a lot of her stuff isn't necessarily explicitly feminine cuz a lot of the girls in her life aren't really tradionally fem so she doesn't force herself to do more than she's comfortable with. also she fucking loves cardigans

🍫 A headcanon about food

she cannot cook to save her life but she isn't half bad at baking. she's great at following directions and it was one of the things that she got to do alongside her sister growing up when their family needed to bring something to a bake sale or a potluck. she has made so much cornbread in her life she can do it without even having to look the recipe she could honestly do it with her eyes closed

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

the applebees household was not a place that allowed for tears, so growing up she was taught the only appropriate way to deal with negative emotions was through anger, so she is just so angry all the time and even though she hates it, it's hard for her to rewire her brain to think about it any other way. for a while she tried to just shut down, figuring if she doesn't feel anything than at least she's not angry but it just festers till she explodes. as she kinda deconstructs and reconstructs her religion and the righteous anger that seems to go with it hand in hand she quickly realized that anger can be used as a tool, those emotions leading her to let her feel that anger and then move with it and past it to fix the problem.

ask game here

[maeofthenoldor]

Lotr character hc's, GO!

You have given me too much power....

*pulls out my 50 page google doc*

warning: These are my less serious list, and are completely random but I think these are the most entertaining :D

-before the quest, sam would leave flowers at Frodo's door and he never knew who it was so he would press them in a book. He only found out after the quest and he used a few pages of the flower book into the red book of the westmarch

-Aragorn likes to collect rocks when he was a kid to show eleond and he was always like "Thats nice awww" and all that. He is 87 and he still does this.

-Arwen is a split image of her ancestor luthien, but Elrond says that she looks a lot like maglor with her hair.

- The children of the shire would play pretend with Bilbo's adventure, often led by Frodo and the tooks. Sam was old enough to start playing with them before they grew too old, and Frodo let him play Thorin one time, and him as course as Bilbo. This memory sticks with Sam too this day.

-Boromir is Aromantic

-Pippin convinced boromir to wear a skirt with him (It was Legolas's skirt) and he did not admit that he actually liked it.

-Pippin wears more fem clothing which really confused Denethor

-Legolas and Gimli eloped on the quest (Aragorn was their officiator)

-Eowyn starts a program in Rohan where she teaches young girl to sword fight & protect themselves.

-Frodo is a good artist and used to draw portraits of Sam, Pippin and Merry. After the quest, he stopped drawing people and focused on sketching out the landscapes that they passed by on the journey. Yet they were always creepy, and slightly distorted in an uncanny way. Elanor finds his old sketchbook one time and gets nightmares of weeks after.

-Arwen taught Eowyn how to embroider tapestries

-Frodo would love to climb the oak tree that bilbo grew in his garden. he never knew where it came from...

-Boromir and Aragorn would argue on who would give the hobbits piggy back rides

-Legolas is rebellious by mirkwood elven standards because he refuses to drink. It causes quite a scandal that thrandruil, the king and biggest drinker, has a child that does not even want to get even a little typsy.

-Bilbo would tell merry and pippin how to do pranks because it reminded him of fili and kili-

-Legolas is nonbinary and uses (they/he) pronouns

-Merry had a big crush on Eowyn, and never knew that the feeling were mutual

-Aragorn talks to trees because he is a gremelin, while legolas actually speaks the languages of the trees. This is how they become best friends

-gandalf big naturals

-Gandalf spent those 15 years between bilbos 111th birhtday and the quest going to village to village tran-sing peoples gender

-Faramir is trans and gandalf was able to give him the right treatment and binders when he was kid before denethor found out. Boromir was happy to have a brother.

-Merry learns how to knit so he can make baby Elanor hats.

-Gimli is the hottest dwarf of Erebor by dwarven standards

-Sam makes Frodo fried mushrooms because he knows its his favorite.

-Lobelia and bilbo have wlw and mlm rivalry

-Merry and Pippin love really weird food combos. Mushrooms and honey? delish. Cherries and salt? yummy. Vinegar cake? even better.

They force every one of the fellowship to try one of these combinations. Aragorn doesn't notice anything bad, Sam eats it because he is polite, Frodo doesn't mind the mushrooms and honey, Boromir throws up, Gimli tells him he should add more meat and Legolas never felt more betrayed in his life.

-Rosie cotton met Goldberry once and they had a sort of relationship where they kissed. She never saw her again, and she thinks it was a dream.

-Tom Bombadil and Goldberry are qpr

-Elladan and Elorhir wanted to adopt merry and pippin until they realized they were ADULTS.

Thats all I have for now! Theres so much more but these are the only ones I can think of without getting into a whole essay on what means what and all that. Thank you smm for the ask anon!!

[uncivilcivilservice]

Louis or Daniel for the character ask prompt :)

Have both! First up is Louis

Sexuality Headcanon: So I know as far as canon is concerned, Louis is as bi as the rest of them, but honestly both mortal and vampire Louis give me gay asexual vibes. I don't think sex/equivalent blood drinking intimacy really occurs to him on a regular basis, but that's not to say he can't enjoy it when the occasion arises. I also just don't see him as particularly attracted to women (I know canon practically refutes this with Babette et al but still)

Gender Headcanon: Soft dusty gentleman. He's a man who is also a beleaguered wife and mother

A ship I have with said character: Armand/Louis is probably my main Louis ship? We deserved more elaboration on their time together, both in the past and present, in canon, and I will happily eat up any content that fills in the gaps there because their dynamic is interesting in terms of what it reveals about them

A BROTP I have with said character: Louis and Daniel. Something drew them together the night of that interview, and I love drawing parallels between them and just in general it feels like they either match really closely with some of their traits, or they contrast really starkly, and I think that can be interesting to play with. I also think Daniel is one of the other more human of the vampires. My Trinity Gate Book Club Boys.

A NOTP I have with said character: I would say Claudia but I've read some great fic that explored that uncomfortable relationship so idk if that counts

A random headcanon: He doesn't know what happened to some of the vampire cosplay items he was wearing during the interview, and he secretly worries they might turn up at some point because Daniel would make his life a living hell with them if he got the chance 🧛‍♂️

General Opinion over said character: He's soggy and dusty, he's the most beautiful thing most vampires have ever seen, he's the Finances Spouse, he doesn't know his times tables, he's catatonic, he's committing arson. Nobody is doing it like him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then my boy Daniel 🩵

Sexuality Headcanon: Again, canon wise I suppose he's bi, and I mostly agree with that, but I think he leans heavily towards romantic and sexual attraction to men. I don't think he ever really saw himself settling down with a woman and having kids and leading a normal heterosexual life

Gender Headcanon: Pretty much a cis guy, though he finds it fun on occasion to experiment with different presentations and fashions, especially for events and themed clubs etc. And I have a headcanon of him and Bianca going clubbing together while cross-dressing

A ship I have with said character: Armand/Daniel obviously, but also Marius/Daniel because goddammit my boy deserves all the devoted, ancient sugar daddies he can get okay

A BROTP I have with said character: Oh god so many, but since I already mentioned them, Daniel and Bianca! And I can make it angsty, as I headcanon that they got to know each other best while Daniel was still living with Marius, and Armand is happy to see them get along but feels weird about not having been there to see it develop

A NOTP I have with said character: Does 'whatever is happening in that show' count as a NOTP? 😅

A random headcanon: Oh god I have so many, I guess one would be that I view him as having been born in Ireland and his family having immigrated to the US when he was young, and his earliest memories are of the boat journey over

General Opinion over said character: He's my son, and my brain worms love the taste of his flesh, next question.

[crabonfire]

I'm out right now, and tonight I have to study for finals, so no big fic/request done (sorry)

so, here are my personal, tf2 sexuality, and interest headcannons.

Scout, as I've mentioned, is trans (ftm) and bisexual. Because, yeah. Mhm. He's into comics, specifically superhero ones like Marvel and Dc. He loves Spider-Man, Captain America, and Shazam. He started transitioning when he was 20. His mother was always supportive of him, plus she knew, he was super masculine when he was young, influenced by all his older brothers, plus, he never really liked the feeling of being a woman anyway. (He/they)

Pyro is transfem, I usually use he/they for them in my work, but that's cause I don't usually put my headcannons in my work. But I think I'll start doing that :)

Pyro uses any pronouns, likes mlp duh, and also has a weird obsession with motorcycles, totally random but it started when engie got him a motorbike one day and then she got super into it.

Soldier doesn't realize it, or cares, but he's pan. Made out with demoman a bunch drunk at a party so everyone knows, but he doesn't ever remember. When asked if he swings both ways, he will give you a slightly confused look. "YES! I GO LEFT, AND RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?" (He/him)

Demo is bi, that man cannot be straight I'm sorry. Bi, kissed a boy once as a teenager and since then on he's had very strong feelings about men. Feel like he would be kind of androgynous in terms of how he dresses if he had the chance to, idk.

Also he likes books that teach on certain, very specific topics. Hes a weirdly cultured man. (He/him)

Heavy, I feel like would be demiromantic bicurious? like he's thought about it, he doesn't really get along with much people on a personal level, due to him always having to work, and always being feared. And he's had feelings for men, he just always sorta, denied it? in denial, even though the closet is made out of glass.

Heavy likes to woodcarve, and weirdly i think if he tried, hed be good at painting. (He/him)

Engineer is trans (real.) ftm, pansexual. He started transitioning when he was a bit older. His parents weren't supportive at first, but in the end, were proud of the man he became. He likes those wooden sets you buy where you construct your own object with wood! (Music boxes, animals, buildings, I did one of these, it was a music box, and I definitely know he'd like it as a stress reliever or gift. (Any pronouns)

Medic is not straight don't start w me. Androsexual, (if you don't know, androsexuality is being attracted to anything masculine no matter the gender. The opposite is gynosexual, attracted to anything feminine no matter the gender.) He's into masculinity, me thinks.

Likes bird watching and has a weird interest in the strange and unknown, like if YouTube existed he'd be the type to watch those long documentaries on the sea while he works or something. (Any pronouns, but mostly refers to himself as he.)

Sniper, panromantic demisexual. Don't know how to explain, so won't. Also likes to carve with wood, discusses it with Heavy a lot. Started when he was a kid, he'd get bored, go to the woods, and just carve a bunch of stuff. He also likes sweets. won't explain. (Any pronouns)

Spy is bisexual, genderqueer (omg same) does not gaf abt his gender bro, she'd look stunning in a dress. Has an interest in corny poetry, would never admit it, but it's true. (Any pronouns, but mostly He/She)

Ms Pauling is not straight. I don't? know her canon sexuality, I know it was confirmed she isn't straight so...bi? she seems like a bi queen to me 👍 (bis unite) but if I'm wrong definitely correct me

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hiya I’m here for the redacted matchups thing? If you’re still doing it that is (“^^)

A breakdown abt me is I have I’m an friendly introvert which has allowed me to deceive a lot of people into thinking I’m extroverted- I’m not I actually need very long hours of recharge after social outings. I’m an infp and I’ve been described to have “black/ginger cat energy” (tsundere and bites people according to some)

For the questions

- currently there’s been 2 songs stuck in my head. Into my arms by the Maine- there was this one specific part that’s goes she had the most amazing…smile. Bet you didn’t expect it she made me change my ways… and the lyric play was really cute. It was sung as if intending to say smthg sexual but he just went ‘smile’ instead and ties it in with how the listener prolly didn’t expect him to say that either implying that she “changed” him. It’s funnier considering later on he comments abt how she had “legs that went on for days” it gives a “I’m more well versed and mature now but at the end of the day im still a Man (/pos)” I found it really cute. Oh and Cupid is so dumb from Cupid by fifty fifty cause mood

- I love ytb essays! I watch movie critiques or essays on certain animes I watch and why they’re great/sht. Oh also shanspeares stuff

- i had a childhood friend called Casper. He was this “protector” kinda friend that would hang out with me talk to me.

- asmr. (no surprise) aside from sleep aids I actually dabble more into traditional tapping scratching or pampering soft spoken stuff when the insomnia hits.

- there is a character from Rick riordans magnus chase series, their name is Alex fierro. I had a very weird relationship with gender?? Aesthetics?? You could say? When I was young. I just had a lot of moment where I didn’t really like my long/short hair or jsut how I looked too fem/masc. Alex (other than being a total badass and child of mischief) was gender-fluid and I looked up to them a lot so ye.

- oh that’s hard I like a lot of them ;-;. I guess the highest I can possibly think of rn is inversion’s more than a promise and right here. I just love the deep conversations asher and David and Damien and Huxley had amidst all that chaos. And how they were there for each other. The voice acting was chef kiss and I was crying.

- …Sam. I used to i really did but now he and darling feel more like characters is ship than me being darlin being with him

- heroes of Olympus and book of life

- Huxley. He is so friend shaped.

- onigiri, ramen and a drink! (Could range from boba to juice to jsut coffee)

- a playlist that seems like it’s for long distance relationship but it’s really abt being in love with someone fictional and being really hurt they’re “far away”. And few other dedicated/inspired by characters I like. There’s one for denki kaminari I really enjoy and it’s just songs with the general “you’re way out of my league yet I still got you how tf-?” Vibe

I’m so sorry for talking so much.

Oh, this is easy. I’ve thought actively about the parallels between BNHA and Redacted characters, and Asher Talbot is the Denki Kaminari who’d love a black/ginger cat partner.

First things first, I like your music taste for him; you seem to like really fun music that brings you joy, and I think Asher would always vibe with it, you know? I can easily see him singing along with “Into My Arms” while y’all are riding along in the car and giving you this cheeky grin when that verse comes on. He feels charming, clever, and cute singing it even though he didn’t write it, but goddammit, he is really cute though.

Another fun thing is that I think you’d both like a lot of the same things! Asher definitely strikes me as having been a Percy Jackson/Magnus Chase kid, playing Camp Half-Blood campers with the other Shaw kids, deciding who would be in whose cabin. Asher’s one of the Redacted bois who I can see as an anime fan- BNHA, One Piece, Naruto definitely but not ashamed to watch a little shoujo, a little Horimiya perhaps.

Song:

Angels danced the day that you were born/ Oh I'm so sure/ They celebrated when you arrived/ You're so bright/ I swear you swallowed the Sun/ And I am so in awe/ Just basking in your light

One, this song is super cute and romantic and singable. It’s a sweet, little bop; I highly recommend it. Two, it’s a song about Tamaki Amajiki being in love with Mirio, an introvert in love with their comfort, sunshine, golden retriever extrovert. It works beautifully.

Runner-Ups:

You know who definitely watches anime and would love anime-related video essays? Guy, and he knows the obscure shit- anything but horror. Now, hear me out- the Casper thing would be a really cute basis for a relationship with Regulus if he weren’t insane, I’m just saying-

Note: Have you heard the song “When Someone’s In Love With Me” by Jacob Oman? It’s literally a love song that sounds like it’s pining over a ex, but it’s actually about fictional characters setting your standards too high, it’s really good. Also, you could never talk too much. Let your words be heard; they’re lovely ❣️

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[the1975attheirverybest]

Banned books is a trending topic on tumblr atm.As a student of literature what's your take on it ?

That’s a great question! Thanks for asking it and giving me a chance to share my diatribe.

Yeah, it’s trending cuz the American library association just released their list of banned books for the year.

I think that banning books is VERY dangerous and a sign of socio-political oppression. Cuz, like, if you look at the list that ALA just put out, what’re you seeing?

“genderqueer” “All Boys Aren’t Blue,” “The Bluest Eye” etc. do you know what all these books have in common? They are solid, complex representations of marginalized voices that, at least in the US, are currently under threat. Women’s rights to their own bodily autonomy, trans rights to gender affirming healthcare, and queer expressions. Like, these books are not getting banned because they’re “hate speech” or some other reason. They just threaten the status quo, center voices other than cis, het, white men, and expose readers to realities beyond their own.

WHICH IS ONE OF THE MAJOR FUNCTIONS OF LITERATURE AS AN ART FORM!!!!

Second to being out in the world and interacting with their surroundings, kids will learn about otherness and get exposed to cultures, genders, social circumstances that differ from theirs through the art that they consume. Reading is EXTREMELY formative to young minds (and I would argue, even adult minds). So, by banning books like this, we are not only oppressing marginalized communities even more, by preventing them from being able to claim space and tell their own stories, we are creating the next generation of bigots by closing the minds of young people away from stories that can be different from their own.

You know what else? It doesn’t WORK! the way you raise thoughtful kids isn’t by putting them in a bubble away from any experiences that they’re not ready for. It’s by instilling the right values in them so that when they do encounter new, ‘weird,’ unfamiliar, or different ideas, they have the skills and the ability to react positively. You can’t just lock their minds up and throw away the key. That’s not gonna work. Anyone who has ever been a young kid and tried to do something behind their parents back will tell you this. It’s dumb and futile.

And don’t even get me started on a young queer, black, trans, etc kid who’s confused and lost and doesn’t have the words and feelings for what they’re experiencing who is now going to miss out on finding strength, community, compassion, or understanding that they WOULD have found had they been able to access and read these books and discover that 1. They are not alone and 2. There’s nothing wrong with them.

So, all in all, this is a ROYALLY FUCKED UP IDEA to censor literally. Not only that, but it’s a symptom of the larger white-supremacist mindset of our current society.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[confused-n-queer]

Afab Gender-fluid(?) stuff

Idk I’m questioning shit.

This will be continuously updated it’s for me and my therapist but if you see this feel free to share yours

The visceral reaction I had to my father talking about giving the ring that's been passed down to the first born son in his family for generations to his great nephew (who we are all very close to and is the only boy in the family) instead of me because despite being his oldest child "I'm a girl" so it wouldn't make sense. My inital though wasn't "it's not fair he gets this even though he has no real attachment to it" it was "but I'm your son" which gave me pause ngl.

In the same vein being told that i "wouldn't want" any of my grandfather or great uncle's jewelry except maybe a dainty chain after they passed because "it's men's jewellery". I would probably want want a stuffed animal made of their shirts or another sentimental item like a book. I wanted that jewelry because it was men's jewellery. I wanted something strong and masculine. It's what i aspire to be!

Hating being called girly as a kid. I hated that I was the weakest and smallest. I wanted to be big and tough and seen as one of the boys and people pointing out I was small,effeminate,weak and ultimately not a boy pissed me off.

I internalized a lot of the same shame around crying and being seen as weak boys do, even though it wasn't directed at me. Like I saw that messaging and went "oh this applies to me". But also I was raised a girl so I had those pressures forced on me too. Yay.

I related to and was obsessed with every cross dressing girl and tomboy in history and fiction.

Feeling most like myself playing vampires and werewolves and roughhousing with my boy cousins*. The only time I was allowed to play rough and treated as and equal were the holiday parties we went to. I was able to hit bite scratch snarl and be cunning.

*they were family friends or very distantly related

I liked martial arts for the same reason. I wanted to be the biggest and the strongest. Not to prove girls could fight, I knew that they could and had some interesting feelings experiencing that firsthand. And it wasn't quite that I wanted to prove I "wasn't like other girls" even if it sometimes manifested that way. I wanted to, I needed to prove I wasn't a girl.

I was dreaming I was talking with Billy Hargrove (fuck off I didn't get a choice in relating to both the Hargrove-Mayfeild kids) about our home lives at the park by my childhood home because he saw into high school me's perception of my family. I forget the exact lead up but at some point in the conversation I ended up screaming "but I'm not a girl" at him. And It was true. Like I don't know in my waking life if it's true but i felt it in that moment in my gut that I was being honest and he had forced it out of me. He asked if it was true/did they misunderstand what I was saying and I froze up. I couldn't talk. I tried to say it wasn't true but I could taste the lie and it rang flat and false. It got weird after that, and I had a whole ass panic attack and hurt myself on accident which was not fun. Side note I unknowingly wrote this whole thing using they/them for Billy before I changed it back to he/him while editing because in the dream he was feeling the same way I was just in the opposite direction. So its safe to say I was definitely projecting my issues onto him.

Freshman year having a young girl ask her mom if I was a "girl or a boy?" which made me so happy I skipped home.

OK so weird tangential thought When I wanted to get off in middle/early high school I would use my reflection. Not in a narcissistic way but for a number of layered increasingly fucked up reasons. The first reason was obviously curiosity which is fine and normal. The second was because girls are pretty but I don't have a way to look at other girls my age and I felt disgusting and predatory imagining my peers that way. I was ready to off myself for being gross just accidentally seeing my crush in her underwear for 0.3 seconds in the locker room so my catholic ass wasn't gonna let my "sinful mind" replay that shit to get off. And finally because I felt like I had to practice being hot for men. By that point I was convinced sex appeal was the only thing I had going for me. I mean all other boys and men thought I was good for were my tits and legs...

... No wonder why I latched onto this lanky fucker.

But yeah my body hasn't felt like anything other than an interesting science project or something pretty to look at on occasion. It's never been me.

It got so bad recently that I had to cut off all my hair because i felt like I was wearing a massive wig all the time. Like it felt like being half in drag at all times. Buzzed my hair and boom no more dysphoria.

This also happened before when I was like 14/15 and I made my hairdresser cut my hair as short and boyish as possible because I wanted to look androgynous.

Growing up I loved "crossplay" (cosplaying the opposite sex) and wanted to be able to transform into guys like TTBret and many other cosplayers here and on YT. (Spoiler alert most of them were trans or genderqueer individuals.) I was elated what I got my face right with makeup but hated the rest because my body wasn't right. So it made me really fucking dysphoric and I've given up cosplaying guys and doing drag because of that.

Hilariously cosplaying Chrissy Cunningham was euphoric in a weird way, granted body dysmorphia was still a bitch and I felt my boobs and stomach were too big (I'm aware of the irony) but pretending to be a pretty girl was fun! Mostly because it was just exploring a part of me and something aesthetically pleasing but it wasn't me. Like I'm not a pretty girl but I can be pretty and dress up like one. It felt more like drag than "crossplay" ever did.

Mad I can’t walk around shirtless even in my own home

My boss and coworkers talking about how they where uncomfortable with the idea of working with a guy/don’t think a guy could do as good a job in our field (we work in bridal fashion). “Even if he was gay”. And not only did I think it was bs (not the feeling unsafe around dudes I totally get that but that a guy couldn’t be professional and sew well) but I felt a deep sinking fear in my gut about being found out. About what (liking girls,feeling like a boy) I don’t know but all I knew was that I was suddenly terrified of these women who I considered friends and of loosing my job if they realized something was wrong with me.

I had also tried lowering my voice into its natural register when answering the phone instead of doing that high pitch thing I was taught to do as a girl and my oldest coworker asked what was wrong with me and my voice. I had to panic and say I was tired and hadn’t realized I wasn’t talking right.

[radlymona]

At one point in time, you people have to admit you didn't actually read the books (or did so with your eyes closed):

Lily feels no remorse, nor does she think it's wrong to half-smile at the bully who’s targeting your so-called friend.

We know that they're already on the outs by this point in time because Snape has been hanging around would-be Death Eaters who are implied to have attacked her friend, Mary MacDonald. She's obviously a lot less sympathetic to him because he's changed from the boy she originally met.

This type of hazing was pretty common during British schools in the 1970s. Many teenagers would have found this funny because it was so normalised. It's almost as if a) Hogwarts is meant to satirise aspects of the British school system and b) show that Lily wasn't a perfect person despite what Harry might have conjured in his head. She was just as capable of having a mean thought/reaction. Because that's how teenagers act, they can often be pretty nasty to even close friends. Harry was a wee bit distracted with what his dad was doing to give it much thought. You have to look at characters/relationships in the context they were written in rather than what you personally think they should act like.

She portrays Draco Malfoy as an irredeemable, terrible character because he’s a rich kid spoiled by his parents, using his power and influence to bully those weaker than him. Yet, she gives James the benefit of the doubt, even though he behaved exactly the same way: a rich bully who used his status and his friends to gang up on the vulnerable.

I think one of the reasons why so much recent HP criticism falls flat on its face is that fails to remember that the series is written from Harry's point of view. Obviously JKR's authorial voice can be seen in the books, but Harry's values and perspectives are written from the point of a teenage boy.

Harry is going to be a lot less sympathetic to Malfoy, who he's personally witnessed years' worth of racism and classism from, than he is to his own father that he knows sacrificed his own life to protect him, worked in an anti-Voldemort organisation, and who he knows acted as an extraordinarily loyal and loving friend.

From early interviews, Rowling claimed Pansy Parkinson is practically the reincarnation of Satan, even though, of all the antagonists, Pansy is probably one of the least relevant and harmless. This is simply because Rowling projected onto her the stereotypical “mean girls” who mock those who read and study—something Rowling clearly couldn’t stand

It's almost as if early on, Pansy was a more important antagonist, given that schoolyard feuds dominated the series pre-Voldermort's return? It's almost as if authors draw from their own experiences, and that a schoolyard bully rather than a genocidal maniac is going to be a lot more relevant for most kids reading the books. It's almost as if when JKR was conducting these interviews, the true recipient audience was meant to be children.

In Rowling's world, there are always two kinds of women. When it comes to younger, adolescent characters, there are the "good" women—those who don’t fit the typical feminine mold, the weird ones (like Luna), the tomboys who are “one of the guys” (like Ginny), or the overly studious ones who don’t have time for frivolous things like reading magazines or talking about boys (like Hermione). In other words, the cool girls, the ones who are supposed to be role models, are those who "aren’t like the other girls." But not because they’re deconstructing gender roles consciously—they just happen to embody the fantasy of the woman who can give you kids while still being one of your bros.

It's interesting that you pick three very different female characters who have no real common interests or personalities and who get along and clash at different times and yet consider them to be one type of female character. It's almost as if in children/young adult fiction, social misfit-type characters have always been the central focus because authors know that these kids are far more likely to be their audience.

And it's also isn't even true? Ginny is a cool girl, she's a great quidditch player, pretty, popular, and known for being great at offensive magic though she isn't a prodigy or a genius. If anything, she's sort of a breath of fresh air in that she isn't this super-skilled character for the love interest to glorify, but a regular if not talented girl whose spirit and nerve are what makes her stand out.

On the other hand, she glorifies characters like Ginny, who has a pretty nasty attitude towards any girl she doesn’t consider cool or "not like the other girls." Ginny treats Fleur like a witch when Fleur has done nothing wrong—her only crime is being incredibly beautiful, knowing it, and not constantly apologizing for it.

This must be projection at this point because she just doesn't do this "towards any girl...", she is mean to (1) adult woman who she obviously feels insecure towards for being exceptionally beautiful. You know...because she's 14. And the story immediately contradicts Ginny when Harry reminds her that Fleur was good enough to be a Triwizard Champion! It's almost as JKR writes a tongue-in-check about the experiences of being a teenage girl, through characters like Hermione and Ginny.

These are "manic pixie dream girls," hiding a deeply internalized misogyny as they are presented as individuals opposed to the “other” women—the “other” being less cool because they lack traditionally masculine traits, and thus are less than.

Again, nothing in the text actually supports this. None of these girls have deep internalised misogyny, beyond what a normal teenage girl might have. Just because they don't get along with every other teenage girl in the vicinity, doesn't mean they secretly hate other women. The manic pixie dream girl is actually a very specific male fantasy from male-written stories, that doesn't apply to every vaguely gnc female character you come across. You're projecting your own expectations for how non-hyperfeminine female characters might act.

We see this not only with how Fleur is treated but also with the disdain or prejudice Hermione shows towards girls like Lavender or the Patil sisters, just because they act like normal teenagers instead of validating themselves through academia to compensate for their inferiority complex (cough, cough).

The way Lavender and the Patil sisters are viewed, is because the series is from Harry's point of view. And surprise, surprise, teenage boys have a tendency to think teenage girls are either one dimensional or so emotionally complex that they need a manual to figure out. Hmm, I wonder what point JKR is making here? Perhaps she is poking fun at teenage boys' perspective here?

You're like so close to getting what JKR is trying to say with Hermione but so very far away. JKR is making fun of herself and the way she acted as a know-it-all kid in school via Hermione. She's blatantly said it more than a few times. Hermione alienates her friends throughout the books because of her too-logical approaches and lack of empathy. Just because the books don't come out and say it, doesn't mean it isn't there. When Lavendar's rabbit dies, Hermione pretty coldly tells her off for believing in Trelawney. JKR leaves it up to her teenage audience to realise that maybe swallowing your words and being empathetic to a friend in need is more important. It's almost as if there are implicit lessons in these books for literal children, that you seemed to have to miss.

I'm going to hold your hand gently when I say this- being an unfeminine girl, who isn't considered pretty, and whose self-value entirely rests on their intelligence is a very alienating experience for a teenage girl. Especially one from the pre-2000s. That is what Hermione represents, and just because she isn't the sanitised picture of "girls supporting other girls" type feminism, that doesn't mean her characterisation is worth nothing. You have all the sympathy in the world for "cool girl" type characters who rarely suffer socially in real life, and little sympathy for Hermione-like girls who are socially ostracised throughout school. If you don't understand this very core concept to Hermione's character, you're unsurprisingly going to misunderstand what JKR is trying to say through her.

Then we have the adult female characters, where Rowling’s toxic and incredibly conservative view of motherhood kicks in. Except for McGonagall, the rest of the adult women who are seen in a positive light are either already mothers or end up becoming mothers. And for them, motherhood is everything. They are mothers first and women second, in every case.

I know this going to be hard for you to understand, but JKR was raised in a very transitional period for women in human history. She was attending school just as women were mass entering the professional workforce and leaving the domestic sphere. She was also writing the books after just having become a single mother, and reflecting on her relationship with her own mother. Ergo, there is a significant and very affectionate role mothers play in the books.

Molly as the matriarch of seven children in a poor family is obviously drawing upon the experiences of British working-class housewives in the late 20th century. The seemingly cool, distant and refined Narcissa is obviously based on perceptions of upper-class British women. JKR plays with many stereotypes and tropes in British culture, the books are sort of built on them. But she does her best to add complexity to supporting characters she doesn't have the page time to add in-depth storylines for.

She does so by having Molly enter the Order and fight Bellatrix one-on-one in the final battle. Narcissa making the single most important choice in the entire series, was her way of showing that people we consider to be cold and cruel are capable of deep love and affection. JKR giving these two important moments to Molly and Narcissa wasn't done to keep them in a conservative box, but to show her deep love and appreciation for women of an older generation who were traditionally stuck in the domestic sphere. Contrastingly, Tonks going out to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts two months after giving birth is a nod to a new generation of working mums.

Lily's sacrifice for Harry contrasts male-centred media, where the father would traditionally be the most important parent. Even the books deconstruct the initial focus on James to switch to Lily later on, even highlighting that Harry's much more like his mother in nature despite everybody's expectations of him. JKRs' portrayal of motherhood is thus her own exploration of the changing role of women and mothers in the latter part of the 20th century. It's about her context, her feelings about a very complex role that even many otherwise, progressive millennial women find hard to dissociate from and remain wholly distinct individuals.

She presents characters she sells as "good," whose attitudes are absolute trash, yet she continues to insist that they’re good and perfect.

Quite honestly, I don't think you understand how to write a complex, layered character. People aren't going to be good or bad 100% of the time. JKR does not tell us they're good and perfect, in fact there's about seven books worth of deconstructing how Hermione's lack of emotional intelligence is a complete hindrance to how she interacts with her loved ones.

Ginny is probably a projection of who Rowling wishes she could’ve been, and Luna is the quirky girl who isn’t “threatening” to other women, and is treated with a condescending, paternalistic lens. They are either Rowling’s aspirational figures or archetypes that don’t bother her, or they’re reduced to filler characters who are mistreated by the narrative.

You have made this up in your head. Looking at two very female different characters with layered personalities and storylines and reducing them to archetypes/filler characters is your misogyny talking. Ginny's growing bravery and sheer nerve becomes important when she becomes a central DA member and later one of the three leaders defying the Death Eaters at Hogwarts. Luna's out of the box thinking encourages Harry and the others to think creatively. She is someone who helps Harry process his grief and makes him feel less alone, without any romantic undertones which is actually a very progressive male-female friendship for the early 2000s. Are Ginny and Luna ultimately supporting characters? Sure. But so are Fred, George and Neville and they are treated with a very similar level of complexity/development. There's just not as central to the storyline unlike the golden trio...like almost every other character in the book series.

I didn't even include "Hermione is a self-insert" because it's a very common thing for authors to have an Author Avatar, but people (read: misogynists) only seem to have a problem when female authors do it, even when they are lovingly poking fun at them.

When it comes to Lily, the problem is that Rowling spends half the saga painting her as some kind of Mother Teresa. She’s the quintessence of motherhood—but not a conscious, modern motherhood, but one rooted in traditional Judeo-Christian ideals. This is the kind of motherhood that can do no wrong, the one that represents women because, in this view, a woman can’t be fulfilled unless she’s a mother.

No she doesn't. You again made this up all up in your head. The whole point is that Harry tragically knows little about his actual parents, because the Durseys told him next to zero and the adults who were their friends can only tell him a romanticised version of who his parents actually were. This is a sort of common thing when it comes to talking about dead people- you're much more likely to focus on their positive attributes. Talk to anyone who's lost a loved one like ever.

Clearly, she must be a saint, because everyone describes her as such. And while the narrative does question James’s perfection, even if vaguely and unsuccessfully, it doesn’t do the same with Lily. Harry questions his father’s actions but never his mother’s.

He doesn't know her. She's dead. How the hell are you going to question the morality of a dead person who you've only seen a few memories about (most of which he sees in the last portion of the series)? It's almost as if one of Harry's most important characteristics is that he's an orphan whose greatest wish is to know his family and that apparently went completely over your head. Incredibly media literacy going on over here.

He never stops to think about how problematic it is that his mother almost laughed at Severus or refused to hear his apology, or that she couldn’t empathize with what he was going through, knowing full well the kind of situation Severus had at home.

2. I'm sorry but why the hell would he? This is not yourfaveisproblematic.tumblr.com circa 2013. This is a teenage boy who's been bullied by a grown adult for five years. A few glimpses into a poor childhood isn't going to change that. Especially when a) Snape has been pretty cruelly delving into his own memories and b) does so even more intensely straight afterwards.

Rowling is obsessed with showing her own moral line through her characters and doesn’t realize how incoherent it is to portray Lily as someone who always does the right thing when what we actually see of her suggests that, if she really liked James all along, not only is she a hypocrite, but she’s also quite superficial with questionable principles

Again, the tragedy of Lily is that she's dead. She died at 21. We don't what changed between her and James for her to fall in love with him, nor the extent to which he bullied Snape (and how mutual it was). Their whole point is they act as the ghosts looming above the main story. In fact, their last appearance has them literally return as practically ghosts. What's not clicking. We're not supposed to really know who they are beyond broad strokes. Otherwise, it would be less of a tragedy.

But Rowling brushes all this aside, as she does with so many other things, because to her, Lily was a role model, despite the fact that anyone with common sense can see she was just a terrible friend who got tired of justifying why she hung out with a poor, scruffy kid and ultimately decided it made more sense to date the rich, handsome bully.

No, she didn't. Lily isn't a glorified role model. She did what many loving parents would do by sacrificing herself for the sake of her son. Parental sacrifice has happened commonly in wars globally throughout all of human history. Molly, Arthur, Remus, Tonks, Lucius, Narcissa, also make sacrifices for the sake of their children. It's actually almost anti Judean-Christian (a term that's practically a misnomer in itself) because if you've read any part of the bible, you'll see that it's patriarchs sacrificing their sons (Abraham-Issac and later God-Jesus). This tends to happen when you have a pop culture knowledge about important literary influences.

The actual reason Lily hung out with the poor kid is because he's the only magical person she knows before Hogwarts. They even have a fight during their first conversation. The reason they stop being friends is because he's hanging out with the wizard equivalent of Hitler Youth and then later calls her a slur. Which you seem to have tiptoed around throughout this whole stupid post. Which seems to be a long, uninformed cover story for the fact that you don't like that Lily was slightly mean to Snape one time when they were 16.

More than anything, you seem fixated on "show don't tell" but what you really want is the author to spell out everything according to your own set of values and principles. You want every complex question answered for you and seem utterly clueless to the lessons contained in the book, and the culture and tropes JKR is referencing.

Tldr: Examine characters and relationships in the context they were written, not from your own perspective of what you think should happen. i.e. Have media literacy.

On an unrelated note, please never write a book.

Lily doesn’t seem to think she’s done anything wrong by insulting his poverty and aligning herself with his abusers - only Severus is remorseful, and the trauma that caused him to lash out was considerably worse than the trauma that caused her to lash out. She believes he deserves it, as apparently she believed his abuse was amusing. And I’d be totally fine with this from a character perspective because it’s the teenage condition to be self-centred and poor at self-reflection. But the *narrative* (and the author in interviews) doesn’t believe Lily was in the wrong here. And it believes Lily made the correct moral judgment on the two boys when she casts Severus off for his crime and falls in love with James despite his. But I just don’t buy into that framing, and I didn’t even when I was 10. The use of the word ‘mudblood’ while in considerable distress is not a greater sin than sexual assault.

Lily feels no remorse, nor does she think it's wrong to half-smile at the bully who’s targeting your so-called friend. She doesn’t even consider that this might be why your supposed best friend insulted you in the first place. But here’s the thing: this isn't Lily's fault. It's J.K. Rowling's fault, and the way she portrays ethical dilemmas throughout the series, blurring the lines between what's morally right and wrong. Now, if you’ll allow me, before diving into the dynamics between Lily and Severus, I’d like to provide some context as to why I believe the biggest issue with many of the characters’ attitudes in the series lies in Rowling’s constant attempt to project her own moral compass through her writing. In doing so, she falls into repeated inconsistencies and creates a narrative that’s all over the place when it comes to how certain characters are treated.

Rowling is never consistent. She portrays Draco Malfoy as an irredeemable, terrible character because he’s a rich kid spoiled by his parents, using his power and influence to bully those weaker than him. Yet, she gives James the benefit of the doubt, even though he behaved exactly the same way: a rich bully who used his status and his friends to gang up on the vulnerable. From early interviews, Rowling claimed Pansy Parkinson is practically the reincarnation of Satan, even though, of all the antagonists, Pansy is probably one of the least relevant and harmless. This is simply because Rowling projected onto her the stereotypical “mean girls” who mock those who read and study—something Rowling clearly couldn’t stand. On the other hand, she glorifies characters like Ginny, who has a pretty nasty attitude towards any girl she doesn’t consider cool or "not like the other girls." Ginny treats Fleur like a witch when Fleur has done nothing wrong—her only crime is being incredibly beautiful, knowing it, and not constantly apologizing for it. And this treatment of female characters throughout the series deserves a proper gendered critique, because they fall into every stereotype and archetype set by the traditional male gaze.

In Rowling's world, there are always two kinds of women. When it comes to younger, adolescent characters, there are the "good" women—those who don’t fit the typical feminine mold, the weird ones (like Luna), the tomboys who are “one of the guys” (like Ginny), or the overly studious ones who don’t have time for frivolous things like reading magazines or talking about boys (like Hermione). In other words, the cool girls, the ones who are supposed to be role models, are those who "aren’t like the other girls." But not because they’re deconstructing gender roles consciously—they just happen to embody the fantasy of the woman who can give you kids while still being one of your bros. It’s a common male fantasy, where women abandon the graceful, ethereal, delicate image to fit into a set of needs the modern man has. These are "manic pixie dream girls," hiding a deeply internalized misogyny as they are presented as individuals opposed to the “other” women—the “other” being less cool because they lack traditionally masculine traits, and thus are less than. We see this not only with how Fleur is treated but also with the disdain or prejudice Hermione shows towards girls like Lavender or the Patil sisters, just because they act like normal teenagers instead of validating themselves through academia to compensate for their inferiority complex (cough, cough).

Then we have the adult female characters, where Rowling’s toxic and incredibly conservative view of motherhood kicks in. Except for McGonagall, the rest of the adult women who are seen in a positive light are either already mothers or end up becoming mothers. And for them, motherhood is everything. They are mothers first and women second, in every case. Lily is Harry’s mother, who sacrifices herself for him. Molly is the Weasley matriarch, whose entire life revolves around her kids—she hasn’t even looked for a job (which wouldn’t be a bad idea, considering the family’s financial situation), nor does she have any aspirations beyond knitting sweaters and worrying about her children. Even Narcissa, a negative character throughout most of the saga, earns her redemption solely because she loves her son and is willing to risk everything for him. Nymphadora Tonks, a 25-year-old woman, ends up pregnant by a man 13 years older than her and goes from being an independent Auror with her own life to a passive housewife waiting for her man, who is off having an existential crisis. The adult women in the saga aren’t independent individuals—they’re extensions of their children. And any woman who isn’t a perfect, self-sacrificing mother (like Merope Gaunt) is either a psychopath or portrayed as a terrible person.

What I’m getting at is that Rowling is far from impartial in the moral narrative of the story. In fact, she’s absolutely inconsistent. She presents characters she sells as "good," whose attitudes are absolute trash, yet she continues to insist that they’re good and perfect. This is especially obvious with her female characters, because throughout the seven books, she constantly emphasizes her ideal of the "perfect woman" in terms of tastes, motivations, and behavior. Hermione is a self-insert, Ginny is probably a projection of who Rowling wishes she could’ve been, and Luna is the quirky girl who isn’t “threatening” to other women, and is treated with a condescending, paternalistic lens. They are either Rowling’s aspirational figures or archetypes that don’t bother her, or they’re reduced to filler characters who are mistreated by the narrative.

When it comes to Lily, the problem is that Rowling spends half the saga painting her as some kind of Mother Teresa. She’s the quintessence of motherhood—but not a conscious, modern motherhood, but one rooted in traditional Judeo-Christian ideals. This is the kind of motherhood that can do no wrong, the one that represents women because, in this view, a woman can’t be fulfilled unless she’s a mother. Lily dies for her son, and that love creates a divine, protective magic. She’s beautiful, popular, and one of the most popular guys at school is after her. Clearly, she must be a saint, because everyone describes her as such. And while the narrative does question James’s perfection, even if vaguely and unsuccessfully, it doesn’t do the same with Lily. Harry questions his father’s actions but never his mother’s. He never stops to think about how problematic it is that his mother almost laughed at Severus or refused to hear his apology, or that she couldn’t empathize with what he was going through, knowing full well the kind of situation Severus had at home. When a narrative tells you something but never shows it, and worse, never questions it, that’s a problem. Something doesn’t add up. Rowling is obsessed with showing her own moral line through her characters and doesn’t realize how incoherent it is to portray Lily as someone who always does the right thing when what we actually see of her suggests that, if she really liked James all along, not only is she a hypocrite, but she’s also quite superficial with questionable principles. But this is never addressed, never explored. It would be fascinating if it were, giving the character more depth and making her more relatable. But Rowling brushes all this aside, as she does with so many other things, because to her, Lily was a role model, despite the fact that anyone with common sense can see she was just a terrible friend who got tired of justifying why she hung out with a poor, scruffy kid and ultimately decided it made more sense to date the rich, handsome bully.

[vacuum-cranium]

There was this story I read back when I was maybe seven or so that I randomly think about from time to time; it was about a boy who was told that if you kiss your elbow you turn into a girl who, invariably, does exactly that. I remember thinking that was really a cool idea. I recently found it again! "Marvin Redpost: Is He A Girl?"

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/900499.Is_He_a_Girl_

[ristoranteivorykeys]

holding your newborn baby 02 – headcanon

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: the boys holding their newborn baby for the first time ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ ft. the Octavinelle trio, Rook Hunt, and Malleus Draconia

: ̗̀➛ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: reader is made gender neutral; these are two separate requests combined together due to the same prompt being requested; part 1 can be found here 

𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐝 𝐋𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡

✧.* When he first lays his eyes on the newborn child in his hands, the first thing Floyd does is to frown and ask: “Why is it all so wrinkly?”

✧.* The baby is so red and wrinkly, absolutely tiny in his hands, and Floyd can’t help but be confused. Are all human babies like this? How do land people coo over such weird-looking entities? Were he and Jade like this when they were tiny eels? 

✧.* Before you were going to smack him for such a reaction, the baby’s eyes open, looking up at their new papa, and Floyd’s face morphs into one of surprise. A pair of eyes, one gold eye and one olive eye, look up at him. They hold the innocence that a baby possesses, but he knows more than anyone else that those are his eyes.

✧.* The baby starts to giggle – perhaps Floyd’s face looked funny to them? – and Floyd quietly gasps. Their teeth have yet to grow out, but he recognizes the little wrinkles in the way they smile. He’ll always recognize those little details that your smile always possesses, small things that he etches into his memory every time you smile. 

✧.* It’s your smile paired with his eyes in this small wrinkly red face of this baby, and Floyd realizes that this is his child with you, and they have his favorite features of you together with traits that came from him. Right then and there, his mood switches from confusion and disgust to quiet wonder as he gazes at the baby. 

✧.* This is his child with you, a child worth more than a trove of treasures untold. And Floyd swears to give them the best life where they can have fun in a world that can make such wonderful things. 

𝐉𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡

✧.* There’s something about holding the small child in his arms that reminds Jade of the terrariums he grows, and yet, it feels so different from that.

✧.* In the months leading up to the coming of the baby, Jade would mostly mask his excitement, but said excitement leaked in the questions he asked out loud and in his head: what kind of person will they be? Will they thrive in the sunshine or in the darkness? What sort of gadgets and gizmos will they collect? Will they flip their fins or jump and dance with their legs? What sort of conditions will they need to truly grow? 

✧.* The child looks like a young sapling that barely sprouted from the soil, dainty and delicate, and in a way, that brings familiarity to the situation. Yet, he can’t ignore that this is the baby that he shares with you, and that’s what makes his heart thrum with more thrill than he’s ever felt while watching any plant grow out of the soil. 

✧.* There’s a tiny part of Jade that worries, for they look so small and fragile, an easy prey to the weeds and the weather. But as quickly as it comes, he shuts that part of himself down: he will make sure that his child is well-taken care as best as he can and raised to be able to overcome the dangers that the outside world contain. 

✧.* As he holds the newborn baby in his arms, Jade can’t help the smile that grows on his face. A smile reserved only for the people he truly holds close to his heart, a tender look that a father would give their child. “I do not know what you will become... but I will make sure to nurture you well.”

𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

✧.* The newborn child is crying as Azul shakily takes hold of him, and he can’t help but feel panicked as he tries to calm the baby through rocking him back and forth. 

✧.* He’s dedicated months into researching on how to be a good parent, from reading How to Parent For Dummies books to asking other parents about how they raise their kids. But at this moment, all that knowledge has completely flown out of the window the moment the crying newborn child is handed to him. 

✧.* In the midst of his panic, a memory comes into his head. A time when he was a tiny octopus, leaning onto his mother’s touch as she puts him to rest with a lullaby. Calming himself down, Azul starts to hum the lullaby, soft enough for only the little child to hear. He could almost feel the lyrics on his tongue: I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know something's starting right now...

✧.* It takes only a couple of seconds, but the cries of the baby cease. The infant’s face gradually relaxes, and their eyes open wide in awe, their lips curving upwards into a smile even as Azul ends his lullaby. As the final note leaves his lips, that’s when he really sees the baby’s face. He recognizes the child’s eyes anywhere because those eyes are your eyes. And those very same eyes are on a face that he once despised looking at in past photos. 

✧.* It hits him right then and there. If anyone were to tell his younger self that he will not only meet someone who will accept and love him wholly but also have a family with them, Azul would have claimed that he doesn’t believe it. But he would never admit how much hope those words would have filled him because there’s that part of him who wants it. He may scoff at the idea of love, but deep down, he wished that the Great Seven above would smile down on the bullied little octopus and grant him that happy ending. And now, he is a father to a child... his child. The child that he shares with you, someone who has learned to love him even at his worst. 

✧.* Don’t cry now, he tells himself, don’t you go crying now. He’s dedicated years to building his mental walls because he hates it when he cries. Even in his adulthood and in his married life, Azul can’t cry without reminiscing the humiliation that he faced in his childhood every time he was laughed at or spat at for sobbing endlessly. But immediately, he feels the the familiar sensation of tears spilling before his body shakes and aches with his own sobs. Great Seven, he doesn’t feel like he deserves this, but Azul will do his best to be the parent that his child needs.

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭

✧.* Rook is silent, and his hands are very careful as he takes hold of the baby for the first time. 

✧.* Anything to this hunter is beautiful, but there’s something about apples that tugs something at Rook’s heart. Perhaps it is the influence of the Beautiful Queen, but it’s not just that. Knowing the way the apple tree starts from a small seed, soon sprouting from the soil as a tiny sapling. Then it grows, facing each storm and drought, and it could have perished from what the world threw at it. But the tree remains strong, its leaves glowing green with a smile and a song, making it all the way to the time everything is in tune and it’s spring. And at some point, its branches will bear fruit, starting from the daintiest flower to the reddest and juiciest apple it can bear. 

✧.* It reminds Rook of his love for you, of everything he went through with you, all the difficulties you faced together. And now he’s here with you, and he holds the fruits of the love you share together. The child that shall now become the apple of his eye. 

✧.* His eyes hold the same gleam that he always has when looking at the beauty around him, yet it’s different. It’s not the exciting look he gets when observing the odd behaviors of others, but rather, it’s a much more tender gaze reserved only for you – and now, for the child you two share.

✧.* His lips start to move, and a sweet voice leaves his mouth. With a smile and a song, Rook starts singing as he cradles his child in his arms. Life is just a bright sunny day. But as he continues singing, his voice starts cracking, and his eyes start glistening with tears that start to form. And by the end of the song, Rook lets out a sniff and a quiet whisper. “No number can define your worth and beauty. I shall make sure you are loved and cared for, mon petit pomme.”

𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚

✧.* Few things in life can take Malleus down, and the sight of his newborn child with you is one of them.

✧.* His knees threaten to crumble beneath him as he is given the baby to hold in his arms. This was a moment that had once been a figment of his dreams, a moment he would have never expected to happen for real. 

✧.* It’s not that Malleus never expected to have a child in his life– after all, he will need an heir someday to take over the throne. But he had always known that he would be arranged to wed someone chosen for him for their political status, and that’s why he did not – could never – act on mere notions like love. Yet you came into his life and learned to love him despite everything the rest of the world said, a gift that he never thought he deserved. And now, in his arms is the small child that he shares with you. 

✧.* As if that isn’t enough, the newborn child opens their eyes. Malleus swears he could fall onto his knees anytime soon because he recognizes that look in their eyes, an oh so familiar gleam that he sees in your own. A gleam of pure happiness that he wishes it stays no matter what stage of life his child may be in. And by the Great Seven, he will do anything to give them a much happier life than he led. He’ll let them explore out to the world, let them find friends, and watch them grow into a person as splendid as the Sleeping Beauty in the Valley of Thorns’ folktales. Whatever life may throw at their family, all Malleus wants is for that gleam of happiness to remain in his child’s eyes, one that no power on earth shall steal or break. 

✧.* Instinctively, his hand hovers above the child, and the room starts to fill with the familiar power of magic. Except this isn’t the booming magic one would expect of the King of the Valley of Thorns, but rather, it’s soft and tender, like the touch of rose petals. “My Little One,” Malleus speaks tenderly, “my gift to you shall be...”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Bella and Beauford (your version of Beau) are twins, similar features (brown eyes), similar chip on their shoulder, similar flowery language, and Ed can't read either of their minds and both smell like grade A beefcakes. Both move to Forks. What kind of mess do you think will go down? 030 Does Eddie boi get the harem he's never wanted? How much can we destroy the B&B team self esteem? Find out on today's episode of the What if Muffin chronicles~! - Sw

Beauford is a reoccurring guest star on this blog.

Think Bella directly plastered onto a boy: absurdly pretty, still clumsy, still terribly introverted and awful socially, and smells like heroin to one Edward Cullen.

With that, onto your question

The Rules

To set some ground rules that are set in the post, I'm presuming both, somehow, are Edward's singer. Now, given that it's Bella and Beauford (fraternal twins), I'd say this is highly unlikely. Singers are rare, and Charlie and Renee don't notably smell like high quality heroin to Edward. More likely, Bella would be the singer, and Beauford would just smell generally nice (but not murder all of Biology nice).

It's also unlikely they'd have the same exact gift, or a gift that expresses itself in the same manner, blocking Edward out of their minds.

But the rules are set, both are Edward's singer, and both have Bella's absurdly powerful gift.

They're for all intents and purposes the same fucking person that somehow got stuffed in two different gendered bodies. The real genesis of this AU: Renee was abducted by aliens while pregnant and her unborn child experimented on. Beauford is, in fact, Bella's identical twin. Beauford is actually Bella's male clone grown in the womb.

After Bella and Beauford reach sexual maturity they'll be beamed back up into space and put into a zoo on Traflamador. (Except not because that would derail this post... The test pilot on Traflamador blew up their planet before Bella and Beauford could phone home. It's not important.)

Bella, Beauford, and the Time Before Forks

Bella and Beauford are probably frightfully codependent for a few reasons that go by the name of Renee. Renee's still out to lunch parenting, and it falls to Bella and Beauford to take care of adult responsibilities from a very young age.

Bella and Beauford come home from school to an empty house, are the ones to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, pay the taxes, do the laundry, pretty much anything that has "adult responsibility" stamped on it.

As a result, they don't really have time to make friends with kids out of school, and they quickly realize that they're the only ones they can depend on in their lives. More, they're the only ones who get each other on any level.

They're both social outcasts, both not what their mother wanted, both have to deal with their mother, and if they ever get in trouble then it's their sibling that they're going to call. Because no one else will ever be there.

I imagine both Bella and Beauford cling to each other tightly with both hands.

Which, of course, makes things weird.

There's getting along with your twin sibling then there's... only getting along with your twin sibling.

Bella and Beauford have lunch together, by themselves, every day in Phoenix. They partner together on everything and are very displeased if they're forced into a group project with anyone else. They participate in all the same activities and if one isn't allowed to do it then the other quits (yes, Beauford tried to get into ballet class, when Renee put her foot down Bella quit right then and there). They wear each other's clothes, if they can't, then those clothes never get worn (Bella never wears the few dresses in her closet). They actually remember their made up secret twin language and lapse into it accidentally from time to time. They're anxious when they're not in the same classes and meet up after every single class to walk down the hallways together. Rather than have any friends, most of their free time is spent at home reading the same books in the same room. They don't even talk about how amazing Heathcliff is, because they know the other knows.

I imagine they channel such the twins from The Shining. Absurdly good looking, beautiful, kids but good god what is wrong with them?

The Decision to Move

When Phil enters the picture seriously, he's not just a new boyfriend, Bella and Beauford sit down to discuss their options. Neither is quite sure how they feel about Phil.

He's awfully young, but he seems to be good for Renee, and is actually capable of paying his taxes (unlike Renee). He can probably be depended upon not to run off and to make sure Renee is taken care of.

However what about Bella and Beau?

With Bella and Beau going to school, they can't travel across the country every few weeks following Phil. Now, in theory, Renee could abandon them to follow Phil. This wouldn't make much of a difference in their daily lives (might, in fact, make things easier in a way as then Beau/Bella can just handle all the cooking rather than Renee even attempting to). However, Renee would never want to admit she's been leaving her kids to their own devices for years, and would feel horribly guilty to leave them behind.

As it is, they've already told Renee she can go on and travel with Phil and she refused, stating she had to be there for her kids.

There's also that Phil keeps trying to bond with Beau especially. As if he thinks it will be easier to bond with the teenage stepson vs. the stepdaughter. That hasn't been going well, Beau would like to avoid that if at all possible.

On the other hand... Forks, wet, cold, and being the children of the police chief's runaway bride.

Ultimately, the pair come to the same decision Bella came to in canon. They want their mother to be happy, feel desperately like third wheels, and if making Renee happy necessitates going to Forks then to Forks they shall go.

At least they'll have each other, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

Arriving in Forks

Bella and Beau arrive in Forks and receive the same reception they would otherwise. But more so. Holy god, the high school population says, it's the Cullens 2.0.

Eerily pale, beautiful, siblings, who are both sensitive intellectuals (and are also weirdly incestuous acting). All the guys want to date Bella and all the girls want to date Beau (some vice versa but they're not admitting that in a public high school in 2005).

The guys (Mike, Tylor, Eric, etc.) aren't all that thrilled by Beau's presence, he's major competition and day one is attracting all the attention. However, they see him as a way to get an in with Bella, he can set them up on a date and put in a good word. If they become his best friend, they have an excuse to go to his house, where Bella will be.

The girls (even Lauren who was initially very pissed off about Bella's sudden popularity) are much the same. Bella's overrated, but good god, that beautiful brother of hers. If they become Bella's best friend, they can have sleep overs, and might be able to see Beau without a shirt on. No matter Bella's stuffy personality, that hot brother is worth it.

Lunch that first day, as a result, is even more awful than it was in canon. Bella and Beauford, while generally oblivious about themselves, are very observant when it becomes to the behavior of others regarding their sibling.

They have an emergency meeting in the truck after school and come to the same conclusion: Bella/Beau, this entire school of hicks wants in your pants. Dump them all.

Both Bella and Beauford end the day supremely annoyed but reconfirm their commitment to this Forks plan. Beau predicts than in six months they'll be losers again and they'll go back to having lunch by themselves.

But what about the Cullens?

Edward, The Cullens, and Biology

As in canon, both Beauford and Bella notice the entrance of the alien procession into the cafeteria and ask "what the fuck?"

Nobody's thrilled about answering, because no one wants to lose Bella/Beauford to the Cullens of all people (the girls sigh with relief as, at least for them, all the lady Cullens seem to be dating one of the other guys. Beau is safe. The possibility of Edward/Beau is one they dare not contemplate in those five seconds.)

Still, Jessica reluctantly gives the run down. These are the Cullens, they moved in two years ago, are absurdly wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly not actually related. They're all dating each other. No, seriously, they are. Except the hot ginger, Edward, but don't bother because he's an ass.

Both Bella and Beauford think Jessica doth protest too much about Edward and internally give the Cullens the same bisexual Bella ranking: Rosalie, Edward (after a bit of thought), and then the rest of them.

Edward, for his own part, notes that he can't seem to hear either's thoughts. Weird. He concludes that the pair are highly overrated and he can't believe the school's so agog over the pair of them. Stupid teenagers.

Then Biology happens.

The pair open the door and good god, Edward Cullen is a demon. Luckily for them, they have each other. There may be an open seat next to Edward Cullen but Bella and Beauford go "NOPE". You see, teacher, we always sit together. No, really, we ALWAYS sit together.

The teacher is weirded out but it's so weird he actually has nothing to say to that. There's only one immediately open seat anyway, and two new students, so they're clearly in trouble with seating arrangements anyway. So he says, "Um, sure, go sit with Angela I guess." Angela is now in an overcrowded table with both Bella and Beauford, her original partner gleefully goes to sit with hottie Edward (then is in dismay sitting with Edward because this guy looks terrifying today). The twins, throughout Biology, are staring down Edward Cullen.

Edward, of course, has smelled the scent of the gods and is going through his personal hell on earth. He devises his many schemes of how he's going to murder Biology before he can get to the pair of them (Angela, for the record, gets smashed into a wall for the honor of being in Edward's way). Then, he doesn't know which he'd start on, he can't tell which scent comes from which. He tells himself he'll toss a coin, heads the boy goes first, then tails the girl.

Still, thinking of Carlisle's sad, disapproving, face as Edward massacres a room filled with children allows Edward to hold on through Biology. He'll murder them after school. Then of course he's able to clear his head and flees to Alaska.

In the meantime, thanks to being hyperaware of their sibling, and now having someone to talk to and confirm their suspicions with: Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy. This guy is creepy, dangerous, and in that moment it looked as if he was going to kill one or both of them. Bella/Beauford would be alright, though disappointed, if they were murdered then left in a dumpster. But their sibling die and meet that same awful fate? Not ever allowed to happen.

Bella and Beau have the world's most tense drive home and tense night taking turns taking guard and sleeping in the same room. Every time one questions if they're, maybe, just maybe, a little paranoid about this, the other confirms that "NOPE, THAT DUDE WAS SCARY".

They can't tell Charlie, he wouldn't believe them and they have no evidence, but when Edward tries to climb through their window maybe one of them will get in a good hit with the baseball bat (they won't, they're both debilitatingly clumsy).

The next day, to their confusion and relief, Edward Cullen isn't at school. He's not there the day after that either, or the day after that...

Beau and Bella start to relax, if only a little bit.

Edward, Alaska, and the Prodigal Son Returns

Edward in Alaska calms down and goes through the same thought process he did in canon. He keeps picturing the twins' faces, his obsession beginning to blossom, and convinces himself that he can't let these unremarkable humans get in the way of his life and his family.

After a week of brooding, much to Carlisle's horror, Edward returns to Forks and goes straight back to school. Specifically, he wants to do damage control with the twins and see just how much they actually noticed.

This goes worse than in canon.

First, Edward has to approach their shared table with Angela like a loser. There, Bella and Beau clearly don't want to talk at him, at all, and both clearly vividly remember exactly what happened last Biology class.

Edward barely gets a word in before he has to go to his seat. When he notices Bella, Beau, and Angela get their lab done as quickly as him (thanks to Bella and Beau), he tries again.

Bella and Beau both ask to go to the bathroom. (Yes, teacher, at the same time. Don't question this.) They don't come back. Edward, after ten minutes, also goes to the bathroom. He finds the pair in their giant, red, truck in the parking lot, deep in conversation (trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Edward Cullen).

He approaches them again, being as charming as possible. This has the opposite effect. Directed towards only them, Beau/Bella would probably let this slide. Directed towards Beloved Sibling, their "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON" sirens are blaring in their head. Beau floors it, and the pair tear out of the parking lot as fast as the truck will take them, they're telling Charlie they're taking a sick day. What will they do next Biology class? FUCK IF THEY KNOW.

Edward, standing in the parking lot with his mouth open, feels very very embarrassed and ashamed. He is a man eating demon and these two are perfectly aware of it. The rest of the Cullens find him there not long after, they find this both sad and hilarious.

Bella and Beau Get Hit by a Van

Well, this would all be well and good. Edward tells himself that if the pair are so determined to avoid him then he'll just avoid them. Problem solved. More, the pair don't seem to be chatterboxes, there's no weird rumors spreading about Edward Cullen or his siblings. At least, no more than usual.

Instead, it seems that everyone's trying to ask the twins to the dance, and are very confused when the twins say that they're going with each other. Sibling policy. You see. (They don't see, nobody sees, this is weird.)

Then it happens. Bella nearly gets hit by a van, Edward saves her, with Beau as a full not-concussed witness. FUCK. Bella and Beau travel to the hospital, Edward driving along behind them, and then after Carlisle checks Bella out they have their awkward talk.

Bella wants to insist that Edward was clearly the one who saved her, with his strange superhuman strength, but thanks to twin telepathy (which either is actual telepathy or is just reading twin body language, who even knows) knows that Beau wants her to shut up. They say nothing, the truth isn't important.

Instead, Beau states that he was the one who pulled Bella out of the way, Bella's just confused. Edward stares at Beau like he's an alien. Beau just smiles, thanks Edward for his concern, then throws Edward out of the room.

Bella and Beau madly discuss that Edward's clearly not human. More, while he saved her life today and that was very noble of him, neither has truly forgotten how he was in that first day of Biology. More, did you see him now? He clearly wanted, desperately for Bella to not remember what happened. He crushed that van like a pretzel, what if they told him that they saw him? What would happen to them? Beau doesn't want to take chances, not even for the truth, and in retrospect Bella doesn't either. Now is not the time to look gifted horses in the mouth.

Given Bella's injured, Beau's on full guard duty that night.

Meanwhile, the Cullens have their vote. It's even more dramatic, because instead of just one innocent, injured, witness, there's two witnesses and one was completely uninjured. Carlisle is utterly appalled that Rosalie genuinely suggests murdering them both so she doesn't have to move. He's more appalled when Edward reveals that he believes the twins may believe that Edward... wishes them harm for having witnessed his heroics.

Because the irony being that the twins are right, the family is voting on this very issue right now. And what does that say about all of them?

Thankfully for Beau and Bella, the vote goes very similarly to canon. Jasper's not convinced until Alice has her vision.

And she drops the bomb. Edward's in love with Bella, Beau will be Edward's best friend and Bella Alice's, and both Bella and her brother will be turned and join the coven.

(Now, what Alice doesn't tell Edward is that, actually, Edward's in love with them both. It's safer to say that Edward's in love with the woman, as that's what Edward will far more readily accept. Throwing Beau into that mix would just make things very messy, if Alice wants her best friend and Edward's happy ending then she has to be smart about this.)

The family has a similar reaction. Carlisle gives his, "Well, alright then" and the family doesn't move. Edward, in despair and self-hatred, heads to the Swan house to see sleeping Bella for himself.

And lo and behold, Beau has been waiting for him. Beau tries to smash Edward's face in with a bat. Unfortunately, a) Edward's a vampire, b) Beau misses.

Beau and Edward end up talking, man to man, while Bella is sleeping. Edward decides that, yes, oh woe, he is in love with Beauford's sister and confesses as much (while also confessing that he might, you know, actually be dangerous). Beau suggests that Edward stay far away from his sister.

No, there's nothing Beau can do to stop Edward. Yes, he is just a pathetic human even more pathetic than most, but he promises that he will make Edward and his family's life hell on Earth if Edward ever thinks of assaulting his sister.

Edward protests he would never, Beau points out that Edward just climbed through his injured sister's window in the dead of night. Edward... tries and fails to explain away that one.

He actually does succeed in that he explains that Bella was in danger from... his siblings. Edward had come to protect Bella, to make sure none came to harm her. It's not necessarily his siblings' fault, it's complicated but... Well, Edward was trying to be somewhat noble.

Then something strange happens. Edward finds himself fascinated by this Beauford Swan. Such courage in the world's weakest, no most delicate, body. Look at those eyelashes, his big dark eyes, his perfectly shaped features. This boy is beautiful, as beautiful as his sister, and just as courageous as she is. And look at him now, nobly facing down a demon he knows he cannot win against for the sake of his sister.

How virtuous.

Edward tells himself that what he's feeling is kinship and admiration for Beauford Swan. Bella could not have a worthier brother. Edward leaves with the promise that he'll respect Beau's wishes (Beau doesn't believe that for a second).

The next morning, Beau tells Bella that Edward's the world's biggest creep and that the Twin Watch is not stopping anytime soon. They're going to need to make a big purchase of coffee.

Edward and His Torment

As in canon, Edward decides he should nobly stay out of Bella's life. He'll see if either twin really does talk (they don't) and then he'll ignore them until they disappear. They will forget him.

They don't, but they do discuss him. See, after much pondering, the twins realize that Edward truly is a Grade A hottie. More, he's so mysterious and inhuman. In retrospect, his saving Bella's life goes a long way, and for all that he's been... menacing, he's never truly threatened them and does seem intent on protecting Bella. More, he seems to be keeping his promise: he's staying out of Bella's life and he hasn't been back to the house since (he has, but they haven't caught him, Edward waits until they both crash until he can sneak in and stare at them both).

And he's never lied about being dangerous. Their glares soften into pondering glances, wondering just what the truth of this Edward Cullen and his family really is, and wonder what it'd be like to let him into their small, insular, world that no one before has ever managed to breach in the way he has.

Bella doesn't believe he's truly interested in her, despite Beau's insistence, and wonders if he's interested in Beau. Beau, for his own part, doesn't believe Edward's interested in him and insists that he's clearly very interested in Bella.

Reluctantly, the pair conclude that Edward is something likely very dangerous, against Edward's will, but benign. Whatever it was they sensed from Edward that first day, it was not something in his control.

Helping this is Edward enabling the mysterious mystery by breaking. He can't stay away from the twins. He tells them that he's tired of staying away from them, that they shouldn't be friends, that he doesn't want to be friends (but wants to be something hint, hint, wink, wink). Except he's convinced he and Beauford are friends, dual protectors of the angel Bella Swan. If he stares a little too much at Beau's perfect figure then that's because he's the perfect, male, version of his perfect sister.

Anyway, the twins go to Long Beach with the others and the twins are now just too curious. Edward's giving them nothing and they must know. Bella flirts with Jake for information, Beau is appalled that this works, and they hear the cold ones story. That night, they both have the prophetic Slayer dream: Edward is a vampire.

Bella tells Beauford that she knows three things. One is that she's in love with Edward. Beau's not sure how to take that for a second but, being Bella's twin and on the same weird wavelength, he gets it. He's in love with Edward too.

Neither finds it strange that they both confess to being in love with the same demon and that they see no conflict of interest in this.

The pair go to Port Angeles to help Jessica and Angela pick up dresses. (Angela and Jessica aren't sure why a man is coming, but they've learned not to question this twin thing). Bella and Beau ultimately decided not to go to the dance, too risky giving the deluge of invitations they received, and instead they'll be headed to Seattle that weekend. They claim this is not a date, Angela and Jessica just stare.

Due to Beau being with Bella, though the pair get hopelessly lost looking for the book store, Bella doesn't get followed by rapists. Edward shows up anyway, as Alice saw the possibility, and takes the pair of them to romantic Italian dinner. It's weird.

He then drives them home and Bella blurts it out. Edward's a vampire, she and Beau know. Edward has his miniature meltdown and realizes that these pair of siblings forgive him this. Beau, beautiful man that he is, is giving Edward his beloved sister and Bella is giving not only herself but her wonderful brother's hand in friendship.

Edward invites them both, that's right, them both, to the meadow. Neither thinks this is strange. And when they get there. Boom, it's over, any chance to question this is gone. Both Bella and Beau are seduced by Edward's sparkling chest and his quotes about lions.

He rests his head on Bella's chest but puts his right hand on Beau's. They sit like that. For hours.

The Cullens (Again)

Well, this went from weird to fucking weirder. It was weird enough when Edward became obsessed with this rando teenage girl. Now, it turns out that Edward's a horn dog panting after bisexual twins, clearly intending to romance them both at the same time.

Carlisle dearly tries to have an intervention. He sends Esme to do it, as in canon, this doesn't work (Esme is perfectly fine with Edward's twincest fetish and thinks it's wonderful).

Alice tells a dubious Jasper that Edward and Beau are just friends. Jasper doesn't believe her, but he's not sure what to even say.

Emmett is desperately holding in Edward sandwich jokes. Desperately.

When Beau and Bella are invited to the house (together of course), the entire family has no idea what to say to them. At all. They don't know how to process this. Rosalie is actually there this time, because somebody needs to warn these two about what Edward really wants, but then they're too weird.

It's all just too weird.

And... the rest of canon happens.

The baseball game occurs, James dies, Victoria's not sure which Swan she should target and so she targets them both anyway. They're in the same damn place so it makes 0 difference.

Bella and Beau joint hallucinate Hallucination Edward, somehow, and get even weirdly more codependent in their zombie fugue state. This tanks their popularity as now there's no denying the incest. Bella and Beau don't care.

Bella and Beau reach out to get Jake to build them the motorcycles. Jake doesn't necessarily want Beau around, the dude's weird and getting in the way of Bella time, but alright. Bella and Jake's friendship doesn't take off because Bella's codependent on Beau.

They do learn about the wolves though thanks to Jake's crush on Bella. Jake never realizes that he's coming in third place not only to Edward Cullen but to Beauford Swan. He thinks he has a chance. That poor boy.

Bella and Beau jump off the cliff together, convinced they weren't committing suicide.

Alice returns, gets Bella and Beau to go to Volterra, because Edward has to see that they're both alive. There's a joyful reunion, Aro is really weirded out by this whole damn thing and has a five second pause after touching Marcus' hand. "Well." he says afterwards, "You and your brother are close. I see."

They get to go home, Aro insists they turn. Eclipse happens. Edward proposes marriage to Bella. Neither Beau nor Bella are thrilled (mostly about the marriage and also about the question of how the twin enters this equation) but ultimately Bella accepts. Bella and Edward marry publicly.

Beau is invited for the honeymoon. Edward, Bella, nor Beau question this. Everyone else does. A lot. On Isle Esme, the three confirm their commitment to each other: they have a secret marriage. Edward and Beau are both convinced they're not in a relationship. Bella and Beau are convinced they're not incestuous.

Sex is had by... someone. Unclear who.

Bella gets pregnant, this seems to confirm Edward must be the father but... Bella and Beau are both very strange, almost alien, and very gifted. There is some red in their hair. Questions the Cullens dare not speak aloud are thought, Edward doesn't seem to notice.

TL;DR Basically, the books still happen but Edward is cuckolded and enables twincest.

...

I did not see this one coming guys. I swear. I did not.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Okay! I did it! I renewed my library card after a pandemic-and-then-some's worth of years, and I read now.

Which I think means keeping a record or something, probably. If only to keep track of things I do and don't like, for future reference!

Books I've tried to read in the past two weeks, in roughly chronological order:

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir -- never have so many people whose taste I respect disagreed so forcefully on a work of fiction. Plus I had a free epub of it on my harddrive from a Tor thing ages ago, so it seemed like a good place to start. I found it genuinely enjoyable! Gideon was a fun headspace to follow along, and while I absolutely did not go in expecting 'Agatha Christie locked mansion murder mystery, with lots of bones', I was down for it when it happened. A solid choice.

Tooth and Claw, Jo Walton -- DID NOT FINISH. Another random free Tor download. Got about a chapter in and then decided that there was too much cannibalism going on in the weird Regency-esque dragon religion for me, thank you no.

The Way of Kings, Brandon Sanderson -- DID NOT FINISH. I was sad to not like this one! Tumblr keeps raving about Brandon Sanderson! But man, once you've hit the fifth chapter in a row (sorry, third chapter, there were two prologues first) with a brand new narrator, and one of the previous narrators is dead and you're pretty sure you'll never see two of the other POVs ever again, and you've had three timeskips and you're a hundred pages in and maybe the story is finally actually starting, and there have been a whole two female characters so far (well, one female character and one 'sprites aren't supposed to have gender but this one has boobs so I'll give her female pronouns') and we're supposed to like this one because she's Inappropriately Witty in a way her brothers like but her nursemaids scoff at, which mostly seems to consist of arch remarks about how men don't want to date her...big nope!

A Dead Djinn in Cairo, P. Djeli Clark -- A fun (queer) detective novella, prequel to one of this year's Nebula novels. The worldbuilding was very cool -- 1912 Cairo in an alternate history where magic has recently entered the world, very very grounded in its place and period while doing interesting things with magic and djinn. The mystery felt pretty bare-bones and formulaic in itself, but it was a short novella, without a lot of space for twists. An easy read, and you've got to love a dapper lady detective in a suit.

Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir -- I am now officially Up To Date with my various tumblr friends who raved about these books. I enjoyed it! I enjoyed it slightly less than Gideon, I think -- I liked a lower percentage of the characters, and the ones I liked were present a much lower percentage of the time, plus Harrow is just so miserable for so much of the book that it's less fun -- but 'enjoy' is slightly different than 'appreciate', and I did very much appreciate it. Not going to go rabid over the series any time soon, but I'll probably check Nona and Alecto out when they happen.

The Wolf of Oren-Yaro, K.S. Villoso -- DID NOT FINISH. Oof, another one I wanted to like, a random browsing pick when I went to grab a hold from the library. The protagonist of this book feels incredibly realistic and relatable as a woman who got married young to a man her family chose, who fucked off and left her with the kid and the family business after an argument, and then showed back up after five years with divorce papers because he wants his 50% of the communal property she's been taking care of the whole time. Which is cool! Unfortunately, said 'communal property' is an entire kingdom, and the protagonist makes zero sense as a queen. She's BAD at her job, in a way that could be interesting to explore as part of her youth/shitty support network, but it really feels like the author does not get just HOW BAD she is at her job. Or what basic logistic decisions could have been made to imply that the progatonist or literally a single member of her staff were even marginally competent. This could be a great setup for a novel about a merchant or a homesteading farmer or a clan leader, but it flopped hard for me.

A Master of Djinn, P. Djeli Clark -- Sequel to the aforementioned novella, and Nebula award winner! This one was, like its prequel, fun, and the imagery and really excellent worldbuilding is 100% its best part. It's very much a detective novel, with certain conceits. None of its characters are particularly layered, everybody is improbably good at sword-fighting, and there was definitely a point at which I was tallying up just how many different incredibly dapper, well-tailored suits in dazzlingly fashionable colors our heroine had worn so far, apparently bought on her civil servant's salary. But at a certain point, you just open yourself up to the joy of an extremely dapper lady detective with a sword cane and a bowler hat and an Extremely Hot Girlfriend who is sometimes a thief. There's an underground jazz club which functions as a speakeasy for no apparent reason but features a brass band direct from New Orleans. At one point Kaiser Wilhelm II shows up. There may or may not be a mecha. Again, the mystery itself is nothing to write home about (a lot more intricate and interesting in the middle than the prequel but still somewhat predictable in bits, and the bad guy at the end was pretty obvious), but the book is fun. Shouldn't dapper lesbian lady detectives get to have that?

In Other Lands, Sara Rees Brennan -- I enjoyed this way more than I expected! I read The Demon's Lexicon years ago, and was DEEPLY unimpressed (I mostly remember it as a mediocre British Supernatural AU made more boring by the process of filing the serial numbers off), but it looks like Brennan and I have both grown as people, because I liked this a lot. It sidesteps the low-hanging fruit of 'why do fantasy lands always need kids to save them? isn't that kind of fucked up?' and goes right for the throat of 'what the fuck kind of sociopolitical system is implied by this child soldier bullshit in the first place, and why is it so easy to be okay with it?'. I found the whole elven reversal of gender tropes grating sexism somewhat wearing, but I liked Elliot as a protagonist a lot. Here's a kid who knows down to his bones that he's bad at people, that he's abrasive and mean and judgemental and impatient, who still values people on just the most fundamental level. Kid's got a -2 to charisma and is still the party face because he's the only person in the entire system who wants to talk first and stab never. I appreciate that, and I appreciate him.

The Unspoken Name, A.K. Larkwood -- An interesting book! I read the whole thing and liked most of the beginning third and most of the end third a great deal, and the middle third well enough with a smidgen of 'I'm a little too ace for this, the Love Interest showed up and it's boring now'. It's a story about...isolation? Abuse, but not the kind that recognizes itself as abuse. In some ways the story feels very scattered, thematically -- a lot of theme going on but I'm not sure how much some of it actually resolves -- but I did really like it. Most of the relatively few relationships in this book, be it friendship or co-worker-ship or acquaintanceship or even just the relationship of a person to a place, are brief and thin, negative or unhealthily one-sided, or just absent, which isn't exactly my taste but does make Csorwe and Shuthmili's mutual understanding the sweeter for it. Fans of Gideon the Ninth would probably like this, although it felt a little less original than I think it might've had I not read that first, and the interplay of traditional fantasy language and extremely casual modern talk felt a lot more uneven. All in all, I think it's a rec if you're into vague unsettled feelings about gods and stories that are more about learning to stand up and leave your abuser than about said abuser ever getting any sort of comeuppance in return. Plus, stubborn lesbian orc girl with a big sword, always a plus.

I have a pile of recs from my last post! I will continue to collect recs! Toss 'em my way, I'm beginning to remember that, oh right, last time I regularly read books I read them voraciously. This is FUN.

[pokidragon]

I wrote another rant about the School for Good and Evil, my thoughts on fixing the queer baiting, so ignore if you don’t care bout that

I’ve been thinking about it some more because the movie pissed me off so much and come up with a solution to The School for Good and Evil’s queer baiting problem. Make Agatha or Sophie a boy. Then change absolutely nothing else about the plot - except for the antisemitism in the evil school obviously.

This movie/book is trying the whole progressive “friendship is just as important and powerful as romance!” thing - which is true - they just went about it in a dumb and homophobic/heteronormatice way. Girl power is all we ever see in fiction, why can’t we see a platonic friendship between a boy and a girl that stays platonic forever and is proven to be more powerful than romantic love?

However, gender swapping one of the characters creates new problems like the boy always saving the girl or the boy being drawn to the dark and evil side - but there are solutions to this as well! If the movie is actually well written and displays its themes and characters much better than it did then such tropes aren’t a problem. Additionally, if Sophie is actually seduced by the dark side instead of kinda sorta being manipulated into it then the gender of the character is irrelevant. Or, u could have it that she jumps at the chance to be evil only to realize that isn’t what she really wants and that she is hurting the people she loves - that way her agency is still in tact. No manipulation required, the choice is always hers. That would honestly be a more compelling story and show kids that they will make mistakes in life but it is never too late to change course and make it right. I think the problem with the movie’s portrayal is that it is between these two extremes. If it picked one and went all out it would have worked better thematically.

I personally like the AU that Agatha is a boy. Not only does this allow young boys in the audience to see an incredibly soft and compassionate prince who is fiercely good in comparison to all of the shallow princes in the good school, it also shows them that these are not qualities reserved for girls - and gives them a gay relationship they can look up to! Girls have a number of queer relationships they can look up to but young gay or bi boys rarely see themselves in fiction designed for kids (outside of the parents of side characters). Give me a soft boi prince who is genuinely good for once. One so devoted to his friend that he ignores his own desires just to get her away from the toxic environment that is poisoning her. In this AU, b!Agatha still falls in love with Tedros. He is still jealous of Sophie spending time with him and trying to woo him and this time, the audience’s natural inclination is to think he has feelings for Sophie but no! That’s his best friend! b!Agatha still gets flustered around Tedros and they have all those stupid meet cute moments like they do in the movie. In the end, after Sophie has broken away from evil’s grasp on her own like in the movie, she sacrifices herself for b!Agatha and Agatha’s kiss on the forehead* is what brings her back. They save each other. They cannot defeat this evil alone. Then b!Agatha makes out with Tedros and the two go home. The end. Boom

Power of Friendship accomplished.

No queer baiting.

Accomplish subverting hetero normative and romance beats all tropes.

It is that easy.

You literally don’t need to change anything about the plot.

*a kiss on the lips has very specific narrative inclinations in fiction. There is a reason Maleficent kisses Aurora on the forehead. Cuz it would be weird as fuck for an adult mother figure to kiss an adult child figure on the mouth. A kiss on the mouth is coded as inherently romantic in fiction. If Boy Agatha kissed Girl Sophie on the mouth, not only would people assume it is romantic, people would also start screaming about consent. The only reason this doesn’t happen in the movie (by straight people that is) is because Sophie and Agatha are the same gender.

[proserpina-magnus]

hey, could I request a James Potter fluff where he and the reader are either talking about their future together, or an actual fic of their future and like they have kids and stuff. super fluffy? :)

Hey! thank you so much for requesting! You are the first person to request and I squealed when I saw your message! ( Also, this is a really cute prompt and i enjoyed writing it!) I wasn't sure whether you wanted a female reader, so I tried to make it as gender neutral as possible (except a few moments in the fic). I hope you like it. 

108 [ James Potter x reader ]

word count: 2067

[ warning; sorta female reader, fluff, mention of sex once (the word was mentioned), hand holding, kisses, pet names such as “love”, talk about children (mention of pregnancy), talk about marriage, bad interpretation of English slang, RESPECTFUL JAMES POTTER!!! ] 

James had shimmered out of his quidditch dress robes, quickly pulling on his sweatpants and a maroon-coloured long sleeve. He ran his hand through his mess of hair, shaking it with his fingers as he tried to make it look a bit neater.

He smirked in the mirror, soon Sirius coming up behind him and posing in the mirror. James pushed at Sirius's shoulder, trying to get back in the spotlight of the mirror. The push started a small fight between the two boys, pushing and giggles exchanging between the two friends.

"Thinking I'm gonna go sneak into Hogsmeade, ya coming prongs?" Sirius asked, shaking out his damp hair as he ran a towel against it.

"S'gonna go hang out with my miss's" James replied, accent heavy and thick as he proceeded to shove his dirty robes into his bag.

"Ah, real serious between you two?" Sirius asked, smiling all goofy as he watched James go all swoony at the question.

"Course it's serious, I'm gonna marry her" James replied, red on his cheeks as he rubbed his nape.

As the words left his mouth, James potter almost had heart eyes as he thought about marrying you. If James loved anything more than quidditch and pumpkin juice, it was you.

"Alright alright, don't get sappy on me prongs. It's like 3rd year all over again" Sirius teased as he stood up and draped his bag over his shoulder.

James joined Sirius to the walk out of the changing rooms, bumping his shoulder as he shook his head towards the ground at the memory.

"That's different than now," James said.

"How so?" Sirius asked.

"Cause I know this isn't just love, it's forever" James replied, confident in his answer as he smiled bright towards Padfoot and Sirius couldn't help but smile back.

"The sex good?" Sirius asked, which made James shove him off to the side as he laughed.

"You absolute wanker," James said while laughing harder, almost falling forward which got Sirius clutching his stomach from laughing too hard at the sight of a stumbling James. After a few more steps and laughs, they both calmed down with their giggle fit.

"Alright, I'll see ya later" Sirius waved goodbye, separating ways as James headed towards the library.

James laughed through the halls, getting looks from passing students but he couldn't care less. He was giddy, he always got an excited nervous feeling in his veins as he saw you.

His heart almost exploded when he saw you pressed over a book, quill in your hand as you wrote down the information for a class you took.

When your head turned to see James, he watched as your eyes lit up and smiled towards him.

"James!" You called out, keeping your voice light as you didn't want it to travel through the quiet room. James felt like he was on liquid luck, he couldn't believe he had gotten someone like you all to himself.

"Good afternoon love, care for a walk around Hogwarts with me?" He asked, cutting off the distance as he walked over to you. He looked over what you were reading, a book about astrology with your notes scattered almost everywhere.

"I'd love that, but I just need to write down one more thing. Do you mind waiting?" You asked him, turning back to your page.

"Course not, I'll wait forever if I had too" he concluded, pulling out a chair as he sank down next to you.

James watched as your eyes darted towards the book then your quill, he watched as your hand began to move as you wrote down a few more notes. He was at peace, his lips quirking upwards as he watched you work.

His hand came up to push against your hair, pulling the strands behind your ear before gently guiding his knuckle over your cheek in an affectionate way.

You smiled at him, bringing your hand up as you guided his hand to your mouth. You placed a gentle kiss against his knuckle, before going back to writing.

James knew he should wait to say 'I love you, your relationship with him was only a month-long now, it was a bit too soon for the words to leave his lips. But James wanted to say those words so bad, he thought you were absolutely perfect in every way.

"Alright, I'm done!" You chimed, sliding the book back to where you found it as you gathered your notes together.

"Awesome, you can just leave your notes in my bag if you want," James said, standing up as he pushed in his chair, along with yours.

"Okay, thank you" you smiled at him, handing him your notes as he gently put them in his bag, not wanting to ruin them.

"Ready to go?" He asked, taking your hand into his as he joined your fingers together. You leaned against his shoulder, smiling up towards him as you nodded.

"Of course," you told him, both of you leaving the library as you go down the moving stairs. At one point you almost tripped, but James had grabbed your arm and hosted you upright.

"What would you do without me, love," James said while giving your a wink, making your giggle as he slid your hand back into his.

"I don't know James, I don't think I could live without you" you replied as James lead you out through a door towards the outside grounds.

The air was beautiful, a breeze shifting over you now, while bees and butterflies fly around. The flowers swayed perfectly, they baked in the sun glow.

You made James stop at a specific flower patch, your favourite. They were all sorts of colours, changing from white to dark blue as they stood up proudly.

"They're pretty" you concluded, head leaning on James' arm again as you smiled down at the flowers. Watching as bees sung around them.

"They remind me of someone" James replied, kissing your forehead as he watched you get awk-struck by some simple flowers.

"Oh James, you're such a flirt" You teased, taking your gaze away from the flowers as you gave your full attention to him. He pulled you along the grass, his hand squeezing yours once in a while.

"I know, only for you love," he said, guiding you down the doc as he stopped at the edge. Looking out at the deep lake, he let you sit first, helping you down without falling.

"The water looks clearer today," you told him, letting your legs hang off the side as your shoes hit the edge of the water.

"Is it? Looks the same to me, though can't really trust my eyes can we?" James said while pointing to his glasses, making you laugh as you leaned against his shoulder.

"You're funny James, I hope you never change"

"I won't, I'll be the same, even when we're 108 and almost dust," James said, his head leaning on yours as he took a comforting breath.

"108? No way will last that long, I'll give it until we're 80"

"80? That's too young!" James exclaimed, making you laugh as you pulled back from the embrace.

"What?" James asked, confused at your sudden movement as he watched you smile at him. You couldn't stop staring at the man in front of you, he was absolutely perfect.

"If I could, I would spend eternity with you" you whispered to him, your eyes soft and doughy as you felt the warmth of love fill you.

James was shocked, it took a moment for him to reply to you as he felt like bursting into tears. He felt the happiest he could, he knew he would marry you. There wasn't any doubt about it.

"Even when the world ends?" James asked, voice quiet as he leaned closer to you. He watched as your eyes softened.

"Of course James," you said to him, watching as his eyes shut quickly. Your eyes fluttered shut as well, feeling his lips connect with yours.

His hand held your face, cradling it as he deepened the kiss. He pulled away, eyes casting downwards as he locked eyes with you.

"I love you" James whispered, he knew he should have waited, but what's the point in hiding it? Everyone knew James Potter was in love with you.

"I love you too" you replied, whispering with him as you kissed him once more before turning back to look at the lake.

"Are we going to have a big wedding?" You asked him in the silence, you could almost hear the way James' heart was starting to pound against his chest.

"Of course; we're gonna invite everyone! Then, we'll go to Paris or Rome and travel for our honeymoon." James explained, he had thought about it quite a lot. Not in a weird obsessive way, the thought just crept in without a doubt and it stayed.

"Paris sounds nice, I hear they have good food" you chip in, smiling at the water as a wave crashed against your shoes.

"Oh they do, my aunt and I went a few years ago! You'll love it" he says, he was so sure about it. James picked up on likes and dislikes pretty easily, he could read anyone like an open book.

"I suppose Sirius would come over quite a lot, won't he? You both are basically brothers" you asked, you didn't mind Sirius; he was nice and unique.

"Oh defiantly! Who's gonna help out with our kids?" James said, confident with the fact Sirius would be an excellent role model.

"How many are there gonna be?" You asked, you weren't opposed to the thought of baring James children. James was perfect and kind, he would be an amazing father.

"As many as you want, but I wouldn't mind if we had a few, so they wouldn't get lonely" he explained, he began to play with his hands. When he was nervous, James would run his thumb over lines and veins on his hands.

You placed your hand into his, pulling it into your lap as you smiled towards him. This man was an angel, an absolute angel.

"How about 8?" You asked, watching as his eyes opened with innocence and happiness.

"Could we? Please they would be so cute!" James became wide-eyed, his heart was going rapid at the thought of it. His head was going fuzzy from the thought about it. He was so happy.

"Well, probably not 8, but around 3 or 5 I wouldn't mind" you conclude, happy with your answer. You haven't given much thought about marriage or children in your future, but dating James had started to make you wonder about your wants and needs.

"That's fine with me. If we could, I would love to adopt." James thought out loud, happy with the way his life was going. James Potter desperately wanted a huge family, he wanted to be a dad and he wanted to be the best at it.

"Of course, the more the merrier," you say, leaning into his chest as it began to grow colder. You shivered, sinking back into James' warmth as you held his hand tighter.

"Perfect. It's getting cold love, let's go inside before you catch a cold," James said, standing up before helping you up. His hand still laced in yours as he walked back up towards the school.

James started to swing your hands together, humming in contentment at the fact he would one day be married to you.

"Hey, think about it. [y/n] Potter. It sounds pretty catchy if you ask me!" James said, continuing to run the name through his head.

"It sounds nice, rolls right off the tongue. What about Mr. and Mrs. Potter! That sounds just as right too" you say, smiling like a goon. You felt like floating, everything was so light and carefree. It felt good to be with James.

"I like the sound of that!" James said, passing by the flowers you liked so much. He smiled, looked over at you and nodded to his realization. You were like a flower, pretty without an effort. Though James Potter didn't just like you for your beauty, your elegance and life energy were easy to enjoy as well.

As much as he loved his life at Hogwarts, James couldn't wait to grow up and start a new beginning with you.

[treesandtheirberries]

Dad!Harry talks to his daughter about her questioning sexuality

A/N: might make this into a blurb series? so presh. if you have any concepts around this, send them my way. 

wc: 2,249

June was Harry and Y/N’s first baby, their biggest accomplishment before they were soon having another child. June was currently 13, the awkward age of Middle School, puberty, and overall questioning of identity. Y/N and Harry wanted this weird stage to be a smooth transition. They always encouraged her to express herself, with clothes, in hobbies, with their conversations. Although their first child, they both felt as though they managed to get through the difficulties of becoming a parent easily (thanks to the massive amount of parenting books, from birth to adolescence, that Harry kept buying while June was still in the womb). 

Yet, there is only so much you can prepare your child for, and surely you can’t be there to guide them through every difficulty. Harry and Y/N weren’t sure if June would question her sexuality as both of them weren’t straight, they didn’t know if the process was the same for heterosexuals. But they never skirted around the topic. If anything, they encouraged watching same-sex couples in movies and such, even having many friends who had families with someone of the same gender (or a partner that was non-binary). 

Harry hoped that this would be an excellent way to acclimate their children to the varying diversity of the world. Y/N grew up with racial diversity, but anything deviant from heterosexuality or cisgender was heavily frowned upon. They hoped that with their lack of omission of the varying aspects of identity their children would have the opportunity to understand themselves easier rather than constantly question their identity. 

They forgot to take into account that this was simply a stage in adolescence they had to endure though, as Eric Erickson put it: a fight between identity and role confusion. And June was currently right at the center of it.

June, even as a child, was usually calm and they rarely had problems with her being fussy like they do with the twins, Mazzy and Mick (named after the artists constantly playing on their home turntable). Thus, any changes were quickly noticed in her behavior. 

-------

Picking up the kids from daycare and June from school was on the top of Y/N’s list of things to do for the day. She adored seeing everyone’s faces after a day at work and seeing their warm smiles and tight hugs always brightened her mood. 

Today, things seemed different. 

June jumped into the front seat with a grunt, a frown, and even went as far as throwing her bag onto the floor of the car forcefully. This was generally out of character, except Y/N and Harry have noticed these bursts of anger more recently. 

“What’s eating at ‘ya bug?” Y/N calmly asked, wanting to maintain a balance of emotions although knowing June was perhaps all over the place as most teenagers are. 

June rubbed her hands on the top of her thighs and noticeably took a few deep breaths; a calming tactic her father taught her when she was younger to calm herself. She took a few more breaths until facing her mother to talk. “Sage didn’t want to hang out this weekend,” she finishes, the frown being found on her face once again.

“Oh, is she busy? Thought you two were having a sleepover at home?” Y/N inquired. She knew Sage and her daughter were best friends since the beginning of sixth grade, and she hoped they would maintain their friendship although she knew the ups and downs adolescents faced it might not be possible.

“She said she’s going to the mall with Rye.”

“As in the bread?” Y/N chuckled, trying to lift the mood.

June rolled her eyes, another behavior that has risen in frequency. “No mom. A boy. That she likes.” She grumbled crossing her arms and sinking further into the seat.

“Oooooh I see what’s going on here, Sage is going on a date!” She rose her voice to a pitch of puppy love, which didn’t sit well with June. 

“We promised we wouldn’t date boys in Middle School. They’re all so stupid and ugly. I don’t get why she’s ditching me for him.” 

Y/N was a bit surprised by this. Harry and she have talked about the day they’d have to worry about June’s infatuation with others and they were dreading it. Hearing that June didn’t have interest in it now was a relief, but of course, this whole conversation was concerning. 

“I understand, not the nicest to make plans with someone when she already made some with you. But June-bug, you guys are teenagers. Of course, she’s going to take an opportunity to go on a date with a freaking boy!”

“Language momma!” Mick yelled, the three-year-olds’ well acquainted with naughty words.

“I guess. Just rude s’all.” June finished with another grumble. She wasn’t known for throwing huge fits, and her outbursts were usually this short. 

Still, Y/N knew that this would be something that would affect her for the rest of the week. Her daughter is calm but incredibly sensitive, and the two parents have learned how to work through her internal struggles. She decided to ask the usual question during June’s turmoils: “wanna talk to dad about it?” 

“Yes please.”

--------

Harry was finishing washing the plates as Y/N was getting the twins ready for bed. The small domestic moments like these reminded Harry of how lucky he was to have a family like his. He noticed June’s mood as soon as everyone entered the house, and once Y/N confirmed they would need to talk later, Harry was preparing himself to support his daughter through her problems. Y/N and he were definitely lucky with their firstborn being like June. Sometimes he’ll credit his efforts in teaching June meditation early, and depending on the day, Y/N agrees. 

As he dries the plates to put back in their cupboards, June walks in. 

“Hiya bug. C’mere give Poppa hug.”

June rolls her eyes (he’s having a hard time adjusting to these teenager habits) and walks closer to her father. Although she’s extremely close with both of her parents, there is a timeless connection she has with her father. “Not a child anymore dad. And please, do not call yourself poppa again. You’re not that old yet.” She mumbled in his chest, clearly needing the affection.

“Mom said you wanted to talk? Want her there?”

“Uhm. Maybe we could just talk in my room please.” 

“Of course, let me just put these plates all back” Harry smiled, only letting go of the hug once he felt June move away. A small trick he learned from his mother after she attacked him with countless parenting trips: never let go in a hug with your child, let them determine when the hug is over. It gives them more comfort and stability in their lives and although he saw this as minimal, he understood its significance.

“I’ll help.”

----

As they walked to June’s room, they caught Y/N walking back from the twins’ room. “Hey baby, twins are done for. I’ll be in the room. “ She pecks Harry quick on the lips and turns to June to wrap her in a hug. “Love you cutie,” she winks at June as she goes to her room.

“Love you momma” June smiles, happy that she has a supportive family like this one. 

“I’ll be there in a bit,” Harry smiles, his arm going back to June’s shoulders, giving it a squeeze. 

Once they get to her room, both take a seat on June’s bed. Her back is on the headboard while Harry sits at the edge facing her, cross-legged. Every once in a while June would request to speak to Harry, Y/N,  or both of her parents on the issues bothering her. Harry and Y/N were proud of having a daughter that felt comfortable enough to communicate with her parents, and they always were looking for new ways to enrich themselves with the issues kids have a different ages. 

“Speak to me June, what’s on your mind lady?” Harry starts, initiating the push. He can tell that she’s struggling to bring her thoughts to words.

“Did you....well. How did you ... realize you didn’t like ... uhm, just girls?” She hesitantly asked, too flustered to look at her father on such a strange topic. 

Oh, it’s happening, Harry thought. “Well, I was pretty young, I guess around your age, and I realized that I just wasn’t fully straight. It developed from there I guess, I talked to a few friends about it, spoke to your grandma, and eventually met a boy I really liked. It was really scary, I’m not going to lie, figuring out my feelings at that point. After that, it wasn’t a big deal and everyone in the family understood. I just knew something like gender wasn’t a big deal to me, and if I liked someone I liked them. But it’s different for everyone. Your mom can tell you how she found out she’s bi.”

June was soaking in the information her father gave her. She knew both of her parents weren’t straight, but hearing how they found it out was something entirely different. It wasn’t that she was foreign to the concept, but in personal terms, it was utterly confusing. 

She finally looked to her father, giving him a small smile at the personal information he shared. They were a very open family, but something about this felt even more personal. “But, did you ever think you were faking it?” 

“Not really, but you already know how pretentious your father is,” he chuckled, lighting the mood. “Your mother, as she’ll tell you, had a completely different experience. Said she struggled for years thinking she was either faking it or actually completely gay! She once told me that she just couldn’t disclose it with anyone, and that led her to a lot of contemplation. But if you’re feeling this way too, I need you to know your mother and I are here to support you in any way we can.”

“Dad,” June scrunched her eyes looking down at her crossed legs. “I think I might like girls. Or at least, I think. After Sage told me she’d ditched me I just realized I don’t like her just as a friend.” 

At this moment, tears began to form in her eyes from all the confusion. Instantly Harry brought her into aa encompassing bear hug, keeping her safe in his chest. It hurt him to see her going through this dilemma, the inter-workings of adolescents were never fun. 

“It’s just,” June suddenly choked on a sob, grasping her dad’s hoodie. Harry began to rub her back for support. “I like her I think. Like really like her dad. I don’t want her to date a boy, I want to date her. But she won’t like me and...I don’t know! Why did this have to happen to me!” She continued, clearly soaking his hoodie.

“Oh baby, please don’t ever think this is a bad thing. Sexuality is a spectrum, many of our friends are somewhere on it, and you already know Elizabeth and Mary are married. This is a beautiful thing to discover baby. But yes, I won’t lie to you, it’s going to be hard. There may be times you like someone who doesn’t like girls but bug, that’s simply life.”

“What if I am dad. I don’t know if I like boys at all.”

“Then you are. As simple as that. You can label how you feel or not, it’s all about what feels most comfortable to you. As you know, your mother and I will be here to support you in any way we can. If you like girls, so be it, you’re still our daughter and you know that. If you like boys, which I mean yuck,” he imitated a gagging noise, rising a laugh out of June “then okay. Both or everyone? It’s all okay bub. I do want you to think about it, It might take some time to accept it but we’re accepting you any way you are. You’re so beautiful and strong, and your sexuality doesn’t diminish that in any way.” He made sure to hug her tightly as he said this, expressing his full support. 

“Dad, thank you.” June exhaled, releasing herself to wipe her tears. 

“Of course, June. I’m so happy you were able to tell me this, I know it must’ve been hard.”

After a deep breath, June looked calmer after her small crisis. “I knew you guys would be okay with anything but it’s just, much harder than I expected to really like your friend who doesn’t like you.”

“It’s hard, so so hard. Ask your mum, seriously I swear she told me she also liked one of her friends at your age. Universal gay experience perhaps?” Harry pondered. 

June gave a small laugh to that. “Yeah, I’ll ask. I don’t want her to think I left her out of this, it’s just that I’ve heard about your sexuality in the media more.”

“Pesky things, but I understand. It was so hard for your mom in comparison to me. Do you want me to let her know first, is it okay that I let her know you might be questioning?” He gave her daughter a sincere inquisitive look, valuing consent over everything. 

“Yeah, of course. Probably talk to her tomorrow after we drop the twins off. I really appreciate it, dad.”

“No problem bug. Let’s get you tucked away.” 

__________ part 2

OH MY GOD this is my first I HOPE YOU LIKE. please any feedback would be so sexy.