#bookmark for shrink

[angelwithwings23]

i need to find my people. in person.

but i don't think this is where they are.

the people i've had here, with whom i can be myself apart from my job and my family, have all left. before they left I cut myself off from them, because someone told me to. even if they knew more people here, i don't. now i just have family and work.

i love my family. they bring me joy in so many ways. but, i must be only a certain part of myself when i am with my family, and there are things i should never do or say with them. i am not free to be my entire self

once i loved my work. i was stimulated, interested, engaged. i was excited to learn and practice and improve and grow. there's more to me than my career, though, and those things that ignite me come further apart. even if they were daily, there are huge swaths of my personality that never put on that uniform. i have to fit myself into my employer's needs

so what do i do with this part of me that isn't acceptable at work and isn't appropriate at home? i just

[fuckinglevi]

em!!!! i miss u and i love you and idk if it makes more sense to send this to u on ur personal or ur hq blog but !!! thank u for sticking around for as long as you have, im so, so glad we met way back when and even tho we don't talk all that much, i still think of u and wonder how ur doing; ur writing will always inspire me <3 whatever you decide to do with all that creative talent, i know it'll be beautiful.

i hope that holidays are kind to you, and if they're not, im here for u to rant (if u need/want) or just to give you as many virtual hugs as you need.

i love you so very very much bby <333 thank u for being in my life! muah!

WTF I JUST SAW THIS JUST NOW…..WTFFF i love u i love u i love u!!!!! getting compliments from u is crazy cuz ur fics are literally the best like …. the greatest of all time(GOAT) is complimenting my writing right now …. this is gonna give me an inflated ego ….

so glad to have met u and experienced ur creativity and to still know u <3 every time i see u on my dash i feel very happy i love seeing all the things u do <3 will always comment on ur posts cuz ily<333 im so happy to see how active u are on this new blog like !!!! it inspires me!!!! i hope ur having the most fun. pls message me and tell me about ur life or talk about ur stories!!!! i hope ur having happy holidays and that it isnt too cold where u live!!!!(its freezing here im shivering my toes off)!!!! i love u i’ll eat u!!!!!!

[taikoturtle]

Just found two more deleted bookmarks on my ao3 favorites and I’m so sad. I don’t know which ones they were, but they were from 2017 so it was an older one. Maybe a POI or power rangers fic I think.. 😢

I’ve gotten in the habit of downloading fics but man… still hurts.

[lycorid]

Mic works.

Stand hasn't broke yet but I completely understand why people say it's trash just by looking at it. I'm keeping the styrofoam case the mic came in so I have a safe spot to put it in where I don't have to worry about it rolling around or more likely, forgetting where I put it.

The next issue is my monitor. I'm using a 21:9 (2560x1080) which... is really annoying for Twitch. I love having a giant monitor for working in stuff like L2D since it gives me a lot of room with less visual clutter, but stream wise it requires more tweaking.

The most common solutions I've found are

Using OBS's scaling filter to force it into 16:9. It squashes the video in a way I dislike and leaves some black bars on the sides of the screen. The latter isn't as much as an issue since I can just put stuff there but the squashing is not something I can ignore.

With aspect ratio filter (left) and default (right)

2. Shrinking the capture in OBS itself and using other stuff to fill the space.

This is more reasonable for me, though I still dislike it somewhat; that dislike is likely due to not having something to put there yet. I imagine I could just put my socials, the song currently playing or some kind of custom banner, but it feels a bit weird yanno? It's like... you KNOW what stream you're on. The About page has all the info you'd care about.

It's also a strange size to put chat on. Some streamers have like, 3 lines of chat on screen, but it's still a small area and not a strip a mile wide.

I could put those chat shimejis there LOL.

I guess I'm not really sure what to do since I don't have a good comparison right now. I could get a monitor in 16:9 that's larger so I still have that space and would make moving forward easier in general, or I could figure something out for that black bar space. The former allows for more customization since I could just shrink the capture to allow for the latter to happen as well, while the latter restricts me more.

semi related rambling below cut

I would like to have lots of chat interaction type stuff and make heavy use of channel points (free currency you get for watching videos.) I'm not a personal fan of "pay money to do x" (though I understand it being required for large streamers) so I'd like to make much more use of points besides the standard "highlight my message/unlock an emote" stuff.

VTS has plugins you can use for this such as T.I.T.S (I know) that let chatters spend points to throw shit at you; VTS P.O.G that creates new parameters for VTS that link to TTS; VTS React that allows chatters to trigger stuff in VTS such as animations, expressions, toggles, etc; VTS Image Gacha that lets users pin things to your model using redeems. There's a lot.

And all this shit is really cool and I think I've already gushed about it before but I'm going to do it again. I think one of the coolest things ever about streaming is the chat interaction and I really like people who take full advantage of what that means. People like DougDoug or Shindig who use/create scripts that allow chat to actually interact with the game they're playing or the model they put on screen? Sick.

I'm no programmer nor do I have much interest in learning to code so there's things I'm limited to, but fortunately there is lots of plugins and tools other people make that I can do things with.

Like Shimeji- I mean Stream Avatars. I think this is what ScottFalco uses. It's cute. It's also an excuse to do more art since now chatters can actually use that art to make little avatars for interacting with stream. Again, very cute.

Also I can let chatters beat the shit out of each other for my amusement.

I believe channel redeems require you to be an affiliate so I do actually have to be making them money before I can do cool stuff but that's what plugins are for :) they can mimic the things I don't have access to.

Anyway all this rambling is what makes me consider sticking with 21:9 and keeping the black bar rather than just immediately going straight to 16:9 to make my life easier. Again, I COULD go 16:9 and swap between full screen and black bar depending on what I'm doing. I don't know. I've used my UW so long I'm comfortable with it so change feels weird, but my tablet is 16:9 so it's not like I don't have a comparison.

I think I'll do some looking around to see how other streamers make use of the space.

[monstersholygrail]

im horny help

Your Monster bf looks up from his book, a bizarre and astonished expression on his face as he looks over at you. What was once a peaceful night in with a calm atmosphere has now been struck with a lightning bolt of lust.

He calmly slides his bookmark into his book and you watch that long hard bookmark slide up and down the crease of his thick book and you shiver in your seat at the opposite end of the couch. Monster bf tosses his book on the coffee table and you jump as deep thump that rings out as it makes rough contact.

You wait with anticipation for him to come to you. To take you and satiate all the need that’s roaring inside of you. But he doesn’t and it has you whimpering and squirming in place. Instead he leans back into the couch, crossing his legs as if he has all the time in the world. Glancing over at you he raises a brow.

“Is that how we ask for help, sweet thing?”

You shrink back further into the couch. Wanting to look away from his piercing stare but you know you can’t. Know that when he looks at you like that… you’re not allowed.

“No, sir,” you whisper. Arousal wells up inside you as his mocking laughter fills the air around you. You can’t help getting so deeply turned on the longer he denies you.

“So why would I help a needy little slut who’s forgotten something as simple as their manners?” he grounds out and you moan louder, throwing your head back in agony and pleasure.

The temptation to grind into the couch is growing by the minute. Your body is hot and so fucking desperate you’ll do nearly anything at this moment.

“Look at you, making a mess of my couch, embarrassing yourself, and moaning like a bitch in heat.”

“P-please, sir—!”

“Oh look, they’re learning!“

Monster bf pushes off of the couch, his tall and imposing form towering over you as he walks over to your end.

“Now what are you asking me so nicely to do? In what way would you suggest I so graciously fuck you back to brainless?”

He kneels before you, roughly grabbing your knees and jerking then apart. Leaving your bottom half wide open for him. He grins wickedly, knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. Knowing you can’t possibly talk when you’re so damn horny and his closeness is clogging up all your senses full of him. He raises an expectant brow.

“Speak up, pet, or I’ll leave you here. Pathetic, useless, and leaking on my high-end furniture…” As he leans in closer, his hands trailing up your thighs, and teasing right where you need him most, a feral glint passes over his expression. “Forced to desperately fuck yourself on your hand, praying for an orgasm that will never come because I’m the only one who can ever give you what you need.”

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Yay!!!!!!! 5K!!!!!! This is such a cute way to celebrate!

May I please request something for BBF? Like a beach day with Jake and both Bradshaws (or maybe the whole dagger squad, idk it’s up to you!) and Jake can’t keep his eyes off of Baby Bradshaw? It could be before or after they admitted their feelings!! Your choice!! Congratulations on hitting 5k!

Ahh this is a super cute request! And thank you so much, lovely :D Here we go, beach day with the Bradshaws: this scene takes place before they get together (and before Jake realizes he has feelings for Baby B).

5k Weekend Bash Drabbles

Brother's Best Friend - Beach Day

Jake Seresin x Reader

Jake is out of the water in five seconds flat when he sees some random guy approach you back on the beach.

“Dude!” Bradley calls after him. “The ball, man!”

But Jake has no idea where the ball’s gone because he doesn’t even turn around to look for it. He doesn’t know why it bothers him that this guy is showing interest in you, but it probably has something to do with how little you’re wearing. All he knows is, you’re off limits to anybody who approaches you while your ass cheeks are barely contained by your tiny-by-comparison bikini bottoms.

“What’s going on?” Jake says sternly, stopping at the edge of your beach towel after jogging over.

You’re lying down on your stomach and Jake tries his best to keep his attention squarely on your face when you look up at him rather than your aforementioned butt.

“We’re just chatting, man,” the guy – who’s obviously a fucking moron – replies as though Jake had been addressing him.

Jake shoots him a threatening glare. “She’s reading,” Jake remarks, gesturing to the book in your hands which you’re actively setting aside.

“I’ve got a bookmark,” you say, sliding your book away and sitting up on your towel.

Jake grimaces at you. How could you possibly be enjoying this guy’s advances when he’s such a nuisance? “Still rude to interrupt,” Jake reasons.

You narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms over your chest. Jake promptly looks away because your tits are, as a result, squished together and Jake has no interest whatsoever in ogling his best friend’s baby sister’s tits. “Rude to interrupt, you say?” you ask, raising your eyebrows at him.

Jake glances back at you in surprise. He hasn’t considered that he’s the one doing the interrupting.

“You’re dripping on my towel,” you note when he doesn’t respond.

Jake makes a face. “It’s meant to get wet.” Before you can argue that fact, he changes the subject, “Are you wearing sunscreen?”

You look down to examine your chest. “Why, am I burning?”

Jake winces inwardly as he attempts, once again, to refrain from staring at your cleavage. He crouches down to grab some sunscreen out of the beach bag and hands it over to you. “You’re burning,” he confirms. Burning, scorching, extremely fucking hot. It’s all the same.

“Sorry,” says the guy who’s still just awkwardly standing there. “Didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.”

Jake looks between you and your new friend as he starts to walk away. “No, he’s not –” you start, but the guy just shrugs and takes off down the beach. “Fuck,” you mutter, spreading a thick layer of sunscreen over your stomach.

Jake, who feels unexpectedly pleased at being referred to as your boyfriend, scratches his brow in thought as he watches the man shrink in the distance. Then, he shakes his head distastefully. “You can do better,” he finally declares.

5k Celly

[sungjinhos]

BF! WONWOO hanging out on lazy days 18+ mdi

lazy sundays were you completely favorite. everybody hated sundays, the dreaded week lurking the feeling of the rest day just ending.

but you learned to love sundays. sundays meant late and lazy breakfast in bed, it meant snuggle in hoodies all day, it meant not getting out of the house, it meant laying in the sofa all day reading with your boyfriend between your legs.

you started reading a book that your boyfriend and also bookworm gifted to you; "I just thought you would enjoy it" he said while giving it to you as he arrived from his last leg of his tour "I brought in a pretty bookshop in New York, it has a nice coffee in it, you would love it, we should go together in your next vacation" and your heart sweell nicely thinking about your boyfriend just going around New York thinking about you.

wonwoo rubbed himself against your stomach, claiming for your attettion. "this book is boring" he said, leaving the book on the floor. "I mean it's not boring but I already know who is the killer" he continued, putting his hand inside your hoodie and on your skin, making your heart buzz a little and making you shrink a little.

"mine is pretty fine, you made a good choice" you said ignoring your boyfriend lifting his hand to your rib cage and depositing a brief kiss against the line of your sweatpants.

"yeah? did you liked you present baby?" he said while his hand travelled through your body, his fingertips touching the valley between your bobs and resting against your neck. "i always think of you when i see pretty things."

"you know i liked wonu, i almost cried when you showed me the whole bag you brought back full of presents." you saying running your fingers thought his short hair, he almost never used liked that and you dont know why but made you more attatched to it. wonwoo laughed, that almost scoffing sound full of air.

"that's what my baby deserves" he kissed your stomach and retreated his hand just so he could grab you by the hips with both hands. "I'm such a nice boyfriend, and yet you leave me bored out of my mind because of a book." he said playing with the hem of your pants.

"you are acting like I ignored you for an hour." you finally bookmark the page of your book knowing that it is a lost fight. You are not reading a sentence anymore.

"not a hour" your boyfriend finally gets off the sofa just so he can take off your pants, he lays between your legs again and he presses a kiss against you clothed pussy making you catch your breath. "a few minutes at least"

"not even five minutes baby" you complain while opening more your legs so your boyfriend gets comfortable, he just squirm a little and plant his big hands in your thighs.

"more than twenty for sure." he says while he travel his fingers against your clothed pussy, putting more pressure at your clitoris making you whimper pathetically.

"not that much." somehow even to yourself your voice sound pitiful, wonwoo barely did anything to you and somehow you are almost begging already.

"did so." he says without leaving his fingers against your pussy, and you can almost feel his fingertip through the cloth, the way your wetness is spreading somehow makes you feel that the cloth is getting thinner, almost disappearing but still not enough. "I love watching you." he pauses and presses a kiss in your pussy, and you feel his wet tongue against you. "you are so pretty all over, I just can't take my eyes off you" he says as he presses his fingers against your entrance.

"not fair." you protest while your fingers find solace in the pillow by your head.

"what baby?" he tuts. "cant i find my girlfriend pretty?" he says while he finally pushes your panty to the side. he pinches your pussy. "so fucking pretty and so fucking messy."

"wonu" you protest again feelling a little faint, a little dumb like you always gets when wonwoo talks to you like that, with his voice low like he is telling you a secret making your insides coil.

"fucking love your pussy" he says before finally putting his mouth against you, hot breath fanning over your pussy until you feel his tongue between your folds. and its like being submersed in a way, searching for air but not getting enough. wonwoo pushes your legs up and you come back to reality a little bit, the way his fingers presses against your flesh anchors you.

"god" wonwoo murmurs. "i could live like that" he says while his fingers left your thigh and comes to grope at your pussy, pressing his palm against your puffy lips. "could live eating you out" he says against your thights while you feel his fingers at your entrance, and he push just a little, making you go a tad bit crazy, putting your arms above your head and arching your back, trying to make his finger go in just a little bit more. "don't worry baby I will give It to you."

And you just feel a little bit more out of your mind, a little more hot, a little more denraged, the way his speaks to you just make you squirm because his voice is so full of adoration, like every word is just full of lust that make you clench and you just give up feeling his hot mouth against you, his tongue going against your folds. He keeps lapping at your pussy like he is getting so fucking drunk, you lock eyes with him and he just suck your clit while you feel his second finger aagainst you.

"baby please-" you finally beg and you dont even need to finish because wonwoo just knows what you need and his just put his second finger in you, and in a way it feels so much but not enough, you feel so tight, like every muscle of your body is working. You give up, you just need a little bit more, so you trail your hands against yourself, searching, you put your hand inside your hoodie, finding your boobs and squeezing.

wonwoo mouth leaves your pussy and you whine, his free hands lifting up your hoodie so he can watch you playing with yourself. His eyes travel between your hands and pussy like he can't make a choice. "fuck" he laughs a little "you are just so hot." and he just bite the skin at your hips. "so wet and taking my fingers so well" he changes his position and presses his hand against your tigh so you open your legs for him. "look at you" he coos "you have such a pretty cunt." He says while he keeps fucking your with his fingers. You whine again, feeling desperated, hasty, but you are just at the end of the cliff almost falling and wonwoo just know, he takes his other hand and just pinch at your clit making your moan. "come on baby, you can do it, just a little one and i give you my cock hun? just know you gonna take it so well gonna split you open in a little bit."

and you just fall apart thinking about the way his dick would feel.

[milimeters-morales]

pavitr x miles is a lesbian couple (the sorcerer turns me into a cardboard cutout and carries me off the stage) and miles x pavitr x gayatri is a message from the gods (the sorcerer shrinks me to the size of his hand and uses me as a bookmark for the rest of eternity)

[unculturedmamoswine]

Fiddauthor Recs

Ya want a Fiddauthor rec list??? You got it. This is just some fiddauthor I have in my bookmarks, in no particular order. I’m not adding warnings, so pay attention to the tags and such. If a fic is a WIP, I’ll let you know. And please DO add your own recs in comments or reblogs, especially if you know of fics that aren’t on AO3!

 If you read these fics, please consider leaving kudos and comments for the authors!

We’re Still Here by hellmandraws

Not fic, but a fan comic starting with college fiddauthor and going all the way through post-series. So great and really worth a read!

rumination: a guided tour by gesso (1.9k words)

Author’s summary: For all the words, expressions, languages he knows; for all the intelligence, experience -- sometimes it's just easier to show, rather than tell. And maybe that means using the mindscape to just pull up very specific memories in a certain order. Because Stanford Pines would much rather take the most convoluted route possible, especially if that means he can avoid plainly talking about his emotions (past and present). [Unlike the other drabbles in this series, this is not complete, and cuts off kind of abruptly at the end of the draft I have]

This fic is sooo worth a read. Technically a WIP, but don’t let that dissuade you.

Somnus Idigus by Abyssalzones (2k words)

Author’s summary: It's hard to sleep, still, nearly a full year after Bill's defeat. Ford manages to be coaxed to bed by kind words and gentle hands, and wonders just what he did to deserve this kind of understanding. (AKA: Ford has nightmares, keeps trying to put off sleep, Fiddleford manages to lovingly wrangle him to bed.)

Sooo sweet! The exact kind of post-canon snuggly Fiddauthor fic I need in this world!

Intricate Rituals by HazelnutofFortune (1.5k words)

Author’s summary: “Fiddleford,” Ford says. He hates asking for help. 

“Mmm?” Fiddleford asks, looking up, scalpel still raised. 

“ Um, could you show me how to get at that big clump next to the Aorta?” How humiliating. Why did he even ask. Except-

“Well, sure,” Fiddleford sets down the heart and takes Ford’s a little gingerly. My heart is in his hands, Ford thinks. Fuck. 

Extremely cute! A WIP! College Fiddauthor and Ford is soooo smitten.

Jersey Boy by Fordtato (110k words)

Author’s summary: Ford does not want to be at Backupsmore University. He should be in California, at West Coast Tech, showing the world that he's more than a freakish waste of space from Jersey; showing the world that he's more than the scrawny, brainy half of a dynamic duo. He's angry, sure, and he's sure-as-fuck tired of being just one-of-two-Stans.

But who isn't angry right now? The world is in turmoil, they're sending our boys to Vietnam and if it wasn't for this stupid school, Ford would have probably been sucked into the draft himself.

But then he meets Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and everything is different now.

A slowburny fic that really digs into the historical side of college Fiddauthor. It doesn’t shrink away from the tougher, uglier stuff that being a poor, gay, Jewish college student in the seventies would mean for someone. Features an angry, confused Ford who is having a Hard Time. Also has a whole host of interesting OCs! Also a WIP. This fic takes a turn or two that I really didn’t expect and I’m very excited to see where it goes, as the author is on record saying that they WILL finish it.

if you love me, come clean by Athgalla (105k words)

Author’s summary: This is pretty much just a collection of various moments and possible events throughout Fiddleford and Stanford's relationship that I felt like exploring, starting with their first proper meeting in college on to post-Weirdmageddon events.

Without further ado, on to the tragically star-crossed nerds!

iylmcc spans Ford and Fidds’s first meeting through post-series. It’s so interesting, and so sweet, and has so many wonderful details! Just a great take on their relationship that you deserve to read, dear reader. Treat yourself!

Maybe It’s Not Too Late by GinAndShatteredDreams (main fic is 82k words, whole series is 110k)

Author’s summary of the main fic: Overall: A post-weirdmageddon asexual Fiddauthor fic in which revelations occur, a confession goes awry, some unfinished business reemerges in the form of a raging pterodactyl, and chaos ensues. (vaguely romantic - hugs/hand holding/cuddling/comfort, no kisses - just adding that so I don't disappoint anyone who's hoping for it - or maybe for the sake of people (like me) who sometimes like to read something without ;))

(Edit - No romantic kisses. There's a forehead kiss between family members at one point.)

*It would probably be good to mention that most of this was written before the journal came out and even after, I tried to keep true to the ideas formed before reading it with one exception that is noted later.

So as you can tell, I linked you the whole series. A both super angsty and very sweet fic with wonderful asexual post-series Fiddauthor! I’ve never read anything quite like it, totally check it out.

Romance is Overrated and Living Confusing by 3HobbitsInATrenchcoat (25k words)

Author’s summary: Stanford and Fiddleford started out as college roommates and over the years grew into something more than friends but just to the side of what others would consider a "normal relationship." But honestly, is it really anyone's business what they are as long as they care deeply for each other?

Scenes from Stanford's life as he tries to figure out where he fits in a world built for romance and traditional family dynamics.

This fic is restricted– you need an AO3 account to read it. Also, it’s part of a series, but the other fic is Stan-centric so it’s not a part of this rec list. Aaaand also it’s a WIP. Okay, with that out of the way, this is another Ace!Fiddauthor fic, which you know I’m all about! This fic is more about college and research-aged Fiddauthor, and it’s as delightfully fraught as you could hope. The author also does a cool thing regarding Fiddleford’s time in Oregon, while still keeping it canon-compliant. My hat is off to them.

To Struggle For Dreams And To Hunger For More by Voidfish (8k words)

Author’s summary: “Am I gay?” Ford reads the quiz out loud, before clicking to begin. To his frustration, most of the questions are simply asking him if he has had sex with men (he hasn’t), if he wants to (he isn’t quite sure), or if he ever will (the jury is still out). Nothing defines attraction, no one clarifies if the burn in his stomach is love or gastrointestinal issues, and nothing leaves him feeling any better on the subject.

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Stanford Pines has never loved a woman but, he realizes with a painful jolt, he can’t say with certainty he’s never loved a man.

Aaaaaa I love this fic. I love it sooo much. Post-series and Ford is trying to figure out his sexuality and his feelings for Fidds. Plus a scene where he comes out to Stan! Just a delight.

And Shifty Makes Three by Sarelle (13k words)

Author’s summary: Ford Pines and Fiddleford McGucket deal with the ups and downs of relationships and parenthood in 1970s Oregon. A task not much aided by the fact they have to keep secret the true identity of their shapeshifting alien grub son, from friends, family and the Feds.

Based on WDW's Shiftyverse, can be read as a standalone.

I fucking LOVE this fic!! Aaaaa the little details about Ford and Fidds and their relationship! Their alien son!! This fic is so up my alley it’s bonkers.

queer clan in the middle of the woods by toosolidcuuj (series is 23k words)

Author’s summary of the series: *to the tune of "our house" by madness* queer clan in the middle of the woods, queer clan in the middle of the

Canon-divergent AU in which Stan and Ford make up, adopt an alien, and gradually amass an extended queer family.

This is ALSO a Shifty-adopting fic! With Fiddauthor! This one also has Stan, and focuses a lot on Stan and Ford fixing up their fraternal relationship in addition to the Fiddauthory bits. I haven’t reread it in a hot second but I remember it being very fun but also taking Shifty’s trauma quite seriously, which I thought was interesting and cool to read.

(There's a) Half moon rising in southeastern skies by orphan_account (17k words)

Author’s summary: A series of memories, all compiled in convenient cinema-reel format. It’s all here, folks, the good, the bad, the sexy, the emotionally distressing. Next to nothing left out.

Sad that this fic was orphaned– I love it. It’s in second person, and I’m all about that! Fiddleford looking back at his fractured memories post-series and also reconnecting with Ford. Absolutely wonderful characterization. Author, if you’re out there, I love this fic!! I hope you are happy with it in your heart!!

Syncing Phases by toosolidcuuj (5k words)

Author’s summary: Stan has gone his whole life never imagining he had a twin, let alone an android twin who can shoot cannons out his hands, makes money appear out of thin air, and has a close relationship with a werewolf named Fiddleford McGucket. Even more surprisingly, FORD needs Stan's help erasing a world-ending computer virus. But BILL has allies in many places, leaving the Stans uncertain who they can trust.

WIP. This fic is SUCH a fun and interesting concept!! Only child!Stan, Werewolf!Fidds, Robot!Ford??? Yes, please! A totally unique fic that is so fun to read!

[teabreakpancakes]

hello!! i absolutely love your writing and cant get enough of it!! the fics with jack is so cute ;;!! is it okay if i request norton, jack, michiko, joseph (or anyone else!!) with an energetic s/o being able to shrink like the explorer and it gives them a heart attack like “oh my god where are they—WHERE-“ “STOP DONT JUMP OFF THE SHELF-“ “ARE YOU INSANE I NEARLY STEPPED ON YOU-“

Fun-Sized Ball Of Energy Norton, Jack, Michiko, Joseph, and Antonio with an Energetic S/O

Genre: Fluff

𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋

often times, he finds it hard to keep up with your energy

luckily, you like it when you're smaller, and it's much easier to catch you when you're smaller

"Not another peep out of you" the prospector chided, covering your mouth with his finger. You squirmed in his hand, attempting to break free, earning an eye roll from your lover, he had enough of your energy for today—he wasn't going to chase you around again.

he's considered purchasing a tiny bed for you, along with more tiny furniture

one time, the hunter almost stepped on you, but before they could, he pulled them away

oh boy, you were in for a scolding

"Idiot!" Norton yelled out, forcing the hunter to collide with the church's walls. He vaulted over the open window, picking you up with one of his hands before running off to the open exit gate. Onyx eyes glared daggers into your tiny form as you tried getting away from his sight, burrowing into yourself.

STOP HIDING FROM HIM, HE JUST WANTS TO TALK

Your heartbeat raced, not because of the hunter, but because of your lover. You pressed your body up against the kitchen island, hoping that he wouldn't see you at all costs. An angry Norton was a scary Norton after all.

"(Name) come out! i'm not that mad anymore, probably" he hollers, a somewhat eerie smile plastered on his handsome face. He roamed the halls, entering the kitchen. Where were the others you ask? well, they all had a match, you simply had to hide until your boyfriend hopefully stopped.

he's asked miss nightingale to design costumes and clothes for your tiny form despite knowing that your clothes will shrink down with you in matches

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑

he thinks it's pretty interesting, a pain in matches though

he likes putting you in his breast pocket

Jack hummed, roaming the manor with a small smile. He steps outside, taking a seat in the garden on one of the many garden benches. The smell of earth soothes you, coaxing you into leaning into the soft material of his suit.

He brings out a book, flipping it to where his bookmark was fixed at. Your arms hang outside his pocket, reading along with him and listening to his hushed voice. He truly was an excellent narrator.

please stop climbing up shelves or walls without him watching over you

"Dear!" the hunter exclaimed, visibly alarmed. You had almost fallen off the shelf you were climbing up. A small pout graced your face as he told you off, "I promise to not climb anything without you around, can I go now?" you whined, nearly laughing when he lets out an exasperated sigh at your antics.

he tends to caress you as if you're a little doll, you sure are as fragile as one

he likes dressing you in doll's clothes

"These types of clothes suit you" he crooned, smoothing over the fabric of the tiny apparel. He picked you up gently, placing you in front of his vanity mirror. You stared in awe—you truly did look like a tiny doll. "I look pretty" you whispered to yourself, bashfully twirling around in a small circle. Jack chuckled softly, "You always do darling" he spoke, smiling down at you.

you're so small he's actually afraid of accidentally crushing you

he asks you to be his muse often, your small size adds a touch of surrealism to his paintings after all (i'm well aware that surrealism began in the 20th century and that the ripper is from the 19th), roses held nothing against your beauty.

𝐆𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀

she thinks you're even more adorable when you're tiny

she often worries about the chance of you getting hurt when you're shrunken down, so you tried lessening your tiny adventures

"Please be more careful about roaming about while not being your normal size, you could have gotten seriously injured" she spoke, sounding very disappointed and worried. You couldn't bear to look at her, not when she already sounded so upset.

Noticing your downcast gaze, she approached you, embracing your smaller form. "Don't be upset, I only worry because I care about you deeply" she soothes, rubbing your back gently.

you remind her of a cute little porcelain doll

she enjoys crafting clothes for you: regular sized or doll sized

Michiko appears to be engrossed in her sewing—making sure to pay a great deal of attention to every detail on the miniature clothing. Various types of fabric surround her, along with mini and regular sized tailor's mannequins.

she has a small chair for you that's always on her coffee table for when you and her have tea parties

"It seems that it's taking you a while to finish your cookie, would you like me to make it smaller?" she inquired with a teasing smile. You shook your head vigorously, turning away from her while still munching on the large cookie in your lap.

you like playing hide and seek with her in her room

𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐇 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐋𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐒

you are going to be the death of him

the amount of heart attacks this man experiences within a day is outstandingly concerning

"Honey! catch me!" you shouted from above the staircase. Joseph looks above him, onyx eyes widening upon landing on your figure. Just as you jump off, he rushes to catch you, making sure to not scratch you with his long nails. "Ne refais plus jamais ça mon amour!" he scolded, holding you to his chest. Inky tears trickled down his cracked porcelain-like cheeks as he pressed a small kiss to your small head. That was the moment you vowed to no longer put yourself in any kind of danger.. outside of games of course.

you are cute but troublesome.

STOP HIDING IN HIS POCKETS, YOU MIGHT GET HURT

Joseph chaired the gravekeeper, the last survivor before getting sent back to the manor. Whilst walking down the halls and towards his quarters, he hears a soft yet familiar giggle coming from inside the inner pocket of his coat. He pauses, placing a hand on his temple and closing his eyes in preparation for the upcoming headache.

Using his other hand, he gently fishes out your figure from his pocket. You wave at him, kissing his hand with a sweet smile. Good god, how was he going to get mad at you if you were this unbearably adorable.

you have taken a liking to hiding in cookie jars

The photographer reaches for the cookie jar in his bedroom, opening it to be greeted by the sight of you nibbling on one of the cookies. "My, and what is this delectable treat doing amongst these common pastries~" he teases, picking you up with a smirk. You freeze up, avoiding his gaze. A deep and rich chuckle was drawn from his lips as he closed the distance between you and his face,"Why don't I give you a taste then?" he whispered.

tiny doll's clothes—not including your normal clothing—fills up the drawer of his bedside table

he likes taking pictures of you, he always brings a camera with him in order to document your tiny adventures: walking through the garden's flowers and even on the kitchen cupboards, you can have an adventure everywhere if you're tiny!

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐓

antonio is amused by your ability to shrink, seeing as he literally examined you from head to toe the first time he witnessed it... he deadass held you in front of his face by your ankle.

he adores you both ways

he babies you when you're shrunken down, treating you as if you were made out of porcelain

"Name! darling! don't lift anything larger than you in that form, you'd likely injure yourself!" Antonio berated, lifting up the teapot, peeling away your tiny limbs from the ceramic. His chucked the crockery behind his head, cradling you in his hand. You blinked owlishly upon hearing the porcelain shatter, opting to instead lean into his touch.

he lets you sit on his head when you're in your smaller form. it sure is nice to have a tall lover, unless you have a fear of heights

he gets you a tiny violin it's just a violin that was shrunken down mysteriously

"'TONIOOO! is this for me?" the survivor questions, shooting an expectant starry-eyed look towards the hunter. The violinist nods, lifting the tiny survivor up to his face using one of his hands. "You seemed rather interested in one and since you're often in your smaller state, I decided to get one appropriate for your size—of course, it can grow to back to it's regular size" he spoke in a hushed tone, not wanting to be too loud because of your close proximity. You squealed happily, hugging his face. "Thanks Toni" you whispered, kissing his cheek.

he accompanies you on your tiny adventure, playing music so it seems like you're in your very own show. he actually enjoys listening or even joining you in your monologues

"As the brave adventurer wanders through the gigantic forest," you monologue, weaving through the tall grass. Antonio played a piece suited for adventure, adding more drama than necessary; his playing was more gentle—telltale sign that it was you he was playing for. A soft smile branded his face as he watched you pretend.

"But alas, the adventurer had to stop midway, for their beloved waited patiently for them to come home from their journey" Antonio butted in, gesturing towards the food spread out on the picnic blanket. They gasped mutely, growing to their regular size before lacing their arms with their lover. "Let's take a break, adventuring can be done later—after we eat!" they beam, causing the violinist to chuckle, amused by their quick change.

of course, you guys don't get back into adventuring after since you both end up taking a nap. always

when you sleep next to him in his bed in your tiny form, he swaddles you in his hair so you don't fall off the bed

you aren't able to wander off this with man, his hair is wrapped around you at all times as long as it's outside matches

[angelwithwings23]

i don't know what to do with myself anymore i just want to be happy and happy and happy and happy with myself

[lacefuneral]

ok i've seen some posts about the tumblr alternative cohost but none that were actually helpful so!

(disclaimer: i am very new to this website. users who have been there longer can and should chime in with additions and/or corrections)

Cohost Introduction Post

What is cohost?

Cohost is a fledgling website that is essentially a tumblr clone, but with its own culture and site-specific features. It is also very much a work in progress. You are encouraged to talk in the cohost forum to suggest changes for devs, report bugs, and upvote other people's suggestions. This website WILL grow and change over time. And as such, I do not know if/when the information I share here will be outdated. Edit: To answer an ask I received, anyone can join cohost without an invite. It used to be invite-only. It is not this way anymore.

Is "adult content" allowed there?

Yes. Cohost is not on the app store, meaning that it is not subject to Apple's specifications. You can post illustrations, writing, and photographs (cohost does not support any video formats at this time, just gifs). Cohost has an elaborate filtering and trigger warning system (moreso than tumblr), and you can disable adult content for your entire account or for individual tags. I actually don't engage with the adult content at all on there. Visual CSEM (both real and fictional) is specifically forbidden (although frankly I think the guidelines could be stricter wrt written content. Still, does seem to handle this better than AO3 does, going as far to say that written content about real minors is forbidden.)

How are minors protected?

The minimum age to join cohost is 16, and requires proof of parental permission to join. Users who are under 18 are automatically age-gated and cannot view adult content.

If cohost isn't on the app store, how is it used?

You can, of course, use cohost on a computer, but it is designed with mobile in mind. Opening the website on any IOS browser, clicking "share", and then "add to home screen" will install an app for you to use. The same can be done on an android. There is a guide here.

How does cohost work?

First, you create an account. Then you wait for approximately two days (read: weekdays) for the account to be activated. This is done to prevent spam bots. In the meantime, edit your profile. List some interests, your pronouns, your other social media links. Give yourself an icon. Note: icon and banner file sizes are small. You may need to shrink and compress images.

After the two days are up, make your first post! Write a basic introduction (with what you feel comfortable you feel sharing) and list some interests you like, maybe some hobbies, media, etc. And then tag this post with "#welcome to cohost". This will let existing members know that someone new has joined, and they may initiate conversation and/or follow you.

Next, go to the search and type in "The Cohost Global Feed" and click on the tag. Bookmark this tag. This is essentially one giant community space where you can find random users. (There is currently some discourse on the website as to whether this tag existing is a "bad thing" or not because "cohost isn't supposed to have a global tag". Just ignore that lol). Next, go back to search and type in things you like. TV shows, maybe. Video games. Music. Anything. See if people have posted in the tags. Follow them. Comment on their stuff. Click "like" to bookmark the post if you want to.

Most crucially, make sure that you bookmark the actual tag so you can look in that tag again later without having to manually type it each and every time. Also, you get a feed called "bookmarked tags" which allows you to scroll through all of them at once, which replaces the "for you" feature other websites have.

You can "share" a post (called "rebug" in user slang) which serves the same purpose as a reblog on tumblr. In a rebug, you can add your own tags or comment in the body of the post. Cohost users do not talk in tags as much as tumblr users - they tend to prefer to speak in the body of a rebug, or in the comment section (replies). At this time, you cannot view all reblogs. But you can view all comments in the comment section. Any post that is rebugged will preserve the tags of the OP, with any additional tags added being attributed to you. Rebugs are named after the website mascot Eggbug, a purple bee-like insect.

Posts are called "chosts" - and shitposting is called "shitchosting." Two examples of global shitposting tags are "#css crimes" - which is when a person does goofy things with the HTML/CSS editor to make colorful text, fake chat windows, and such - and "#shitchosting" which is a general shitposting tag. I've also seen people use tags like "#random".

If a post makes you laugh, check out the OP's profile. See if they post frequently, and if you have any common interests. If you realize you want to block or mute someone instead, you can.

You can send asks just like on tumblr, but your inbox must be manually opened first. So remember to do that.

How do I look at my own blog?

This is one of my gripes about the UI. You would think, intuitively, you would click here (at the top of the screen). But you would be wrong!

It is ACTUALLY under the sidebar menu, called "Profile." And I'm not the only one to to complain about this. (To get back to your dashboard, by the way, you click on the cohost logo.)

Are there sideblogs?

Yes! Each sidepage (sideblog) has its OWN set of likes AND followed pages (blogs). This allows you to easily switch between multiple sets of dashboards. A lot of users use this to have a SFW dashboard and an adult content dashboard. But it works like tumblr, too. You can have a side page/dashboard for whatever you'd like. Maybe one of your pages is for programming. Maybe another is for photography. You switch between your pages by clicking the arrow next to your icon/username at the top of the screen. ("Ohhhhh.... THAT'S what that's for.")

What's the userbase on there like?

Mostly programmers. Trans people. Furry artists. Plural systems. Furry trans plural programmers. Certainly a lot of shitposters. The website is trans-run and, as such, has zero tolerance for TERFs. Everyone seems pretty friendly from what I can tell. And there's very much a culture of "follow someone randomly based on their vibes" that doesn't happen as much on tumblr. Tumblr is more like "I really like this TV show, I'm going to follow 40 blogs about just this interest." Because the cohost community is so much smaller, there is a lot less content overall, especially fandom content. You can't follow 40 fandom pages because your fandom tag has a total of 3 posts, all made by one person approximately a year ago (well. for me anyway).

Cohost, then, actually has much more in common with real-life socialization. You seek out people with interests that may be very different from your own, and to find a common interest is very exciting! Unlike tumblr, you are encouraged to tag as much as possible. This allows your posts to be seen, to find common interests. And, of course, don't forget to look in "#Welcome To Cohost" too! You may find some new friends there.

What file formats can I post in?

Currently, I am aware of basic image formats working (like jpeg, png) animated gifs, and mp3s. You currently cannot upload videos to cohost. I believe the reason is not related to server costs, but rather as a way to curb the uploading of copyrighted content.

How does cohost make money?

There are no ads, and yet, as far as I am aware, cohost is operating comfortably. There is, however, an entirely optional "cohost plus" that is $5 USD a month. Currently, there are a few perks, but not enough to convince me.

What if I think something about cohost should change?

Cohost has a forum where users can submit ideas for features and other users can discuss/upvote those ideas.

Here is a list of posts made for newcomers to read:

[tajmutthall]

Link to my ever-growing (sometimes shrinking) AO3 List OF ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CAPTIVE PRINCE FAN FICTIONS.

I had hoped that simply marking "rec" for the ones I really liked would narrow it down for myself and others. But after doing that for a while, I am approaching 500 stories and I don't really want that many in my "absolute favoritest" list. So I am slowly going back through them and adding the ones that really stick with me to this collection , Taj MuttHall Capri favorite fanfiction. Enjoy!

(and let me know if there are stories I should check out that aren't on either of my lists.)

Taj_MuttHall Captive Prince favorites | Archive of Our Own

:readmore:

Some are long, some are short, some are incomplete, some are agonizing, some so happy, some are a similar mix to what the original books had… mostly they all have the qualities that they are true to the original characters and themes in some way and that their writing is excellent and that I would read them again. for each story, you can check my bookmark for more tips about it (i try not to do spoilers)

I don't do incest or ABO. there are a few "major character deaths" stories, but I don't generally include ones where the last thing in the story is that somebody dies and it's left for the shock value. No no no. That's cruel and pointless. In my opinion.

[o-sn4pple]

hi this is an unfinished rough draft of a (technical?) sequel to my scara x reader fic, against the kitchen floor

someone had left a bookmark idea of how wanderer would be with reader after the wipe, and though they had discussed how reader would be missing something, i went with what would have been changed had i written into jeht's story quest

so yeah, hi

The Wanderer does not like the desert.

The sand is not kind to his joints, the sunlight harsh upon his eyes, and yet he forces his body faster and faster, fighting against the tearing winds to the hidden encampment within the dunes. Even he feels the scratch of grains whipping against his eyes. He only grits his teeth and charges ahead. 

“I can’t be in two places at once!”

The map marks the Temples Forsaken as his target, though the sand seems to have been cleared as of late. Glowing statues seem to flicker in the harsh light, familiar structures that mean little to him now. The sand is dusted white, and though the Wanderer does not need to breathe, he does so anyway. A plume of condensation escapes him.

This can’t be good. He doubts his internal hardware enjoys freezing over, either. Already, he can feel his capacitors shutting off, limbs stiffening in protest.

“Trust me, I would have asked Cyno, but I don’t have time to waste!”

The Wanderer grits his teeth and moves deeper. Despite the risen walls, the wind only seems to grow stronger, bitter and blinding. He keeps one hand tight on the brim of his hat, attempting to scan through the howling winds for something of note. The closest he finds is a suspicious lump half-buried in snow - a body, he discovers. The Eremite has no visible injuries, but their jaw seems half-frozen in visible shock, fingers tight around their axe. The several dozen others are in similar shape. 

Finally, he finds another, more familiar uniform buried in the mix. The Fatuus’ armor has splintered, chest caved in and dripping all over the ground. Just seeing his face makes the Wanderer scowl, and he steps back to squint through the storm. With all of the snow howling around him, it takes him a moment to remember just where he is. 

“They’re in trouble!”

He opens his mouth, but before he can speak, a blur flies at his side. He throws his arms up, fingers catching a jagged edge before it can pierce his chest. It isn’t enough to stop the momentum, and he is swept right off his feet by an insect twenty times his size. 

“Gh-” The Wanderer grits his teeth as the insect trills, each click like thunder in his ears. He twists to push the beetle aside, momentum bouncing him off the giant scarab’s head as it whistles past. When it rights itself, he throws one hand up. Razor wind arcs at its giant horn, glancing off its icy exoskeleton. 

Another furious trill rings in the puppet’s ears. This time, its horn catches beneath his feet and hauls him up. He kicks and thrashes, tearing himself free before the beetle can fling him into the ruin walls. He knows this creature - its size, not as much, but its enraged rattle sounds just like an overwound toy breaking free from its shell.

“Pot of Greed!” 

The giant scarab freezes, hovering over the ruins as it clicks and chirps. The Wanderer scowls and rights himself, shaking the frost from his face. He doesn’t understand what it’s saying, but he can already see it shrinking. “The Traveler sent me,” he shouts over the howling blizzard. “Where are they?” 

Pot of Greed trills, but when it lands on its legs, its entire body shudders. Its icy exoskeleton slides off in sheets, puffing into mist before it can hit the ground. All that remains is its mechanical body, which hits the ground back first with its legs in the air. 

“Huh?” The Wanderer steps forward, ready to pick up the catalyst when-

BANG!

-something pierces his thigh. 

The Wanderer hisses, hand flying to the hole now burning its way through his leg. A quick diagnostic reveals it missed the major wires that control movement, but his pain receptors don’t seem to care. It hurts, it burns, and he bares his teeth as he follows its trajectory. “You-”

Another bullet whizzes by. This time, he rounds on the angle with Anemo at his fingertips, then freezes. 

It’s you, head wrapped in your floral scarf and armed with a Skirmisher’s flaming rifle. Your left arm, normally hidden with a sleeve, bares its scars to the open air, your actual sleeve wrapped around your right leg and the shaft of another Skirmisher’s hammer. You’ve squeezed yourself into a crevice in the ruin walls. From the drag marks under your legs, the Wanderer can only assume you dragged yourself there to protect your back. 

Your hands move like a seasoned veteran, and by the time the Wanderer’s mind catches up to him, you are already firing another shot. This time, it whizzes past his ear. Something tells him that your next shot will not miss. 

“Enough!” The Wanderer flies forward, seizing the barrel before it can fire. You shout and lunge, but he tears the gun from your fingertips and throws it aside. “Calm down, it’s-”

A frost-coated fist slams straight into his stomach. He doubles over with a hiss, and it’s just enough for your other hand to shoot put and grab a fistful of his coat. 

And in the memories the Wanderer has of you, both old and new, you never seemed like much for roughhousing. At least, the current you always carried yourself with dignity whenever he sees you walking around the Akademiya before turning the opposite way. 

Then he recalls all of those foreign memories he’d seen in the Akasha System, how you used to be with the General Mahamatra, and is slammed into the dirt with enough force to make his vision flicker. 

You get in a lucky strike before he finally throws you off, pinning you on your back. He snatches your wrists as you thrash, using his knees to hold down your shoulders as you scream. “STOP!” he shouts over you. “I’m not your enemy!” It doesn’t work. Your one good leg kicks blindly, knee bumping his back. This time, he grips your cheeks tight, forcing you to meet his eye. “It’s me, you idiot! From the Akademiya!” 

For a moment, he doesn’t think it works. After all, he’s barely spoken to you unless directly summoned by Nahida. Outside of the first interaction (or reunion, for him), he’s avoided you as best he could. 

But from the way your eyes widen, his body almost softens with relief. You relax under his grip, one hand weakly pulling on his own as your bleeding lips move.

“Water,” you rasp. “Please…too long…water…”

That is all you get out before your eyes roll back. 

“Huh?” The Wanderer grips your jaw tight, shaking you out of instinct before the rest of the Traveler’s words come to him. 

“It’s been a week, they’re both missing, please, just help me!”

A week. 

He looks around, eyes zeroing in on the rapidly melting snow. It can’t be safe or sanitary, but he also knows humans can only last three days without water at most. The Wanderer doesn’t have time to be picky, nor embarrassed. He simply holds the snow in his mouth until it melts, centers your head with one hand on your chin, and presses his mouth to yours. 

He keeps his fingers against your jaw, using the heel of his palm to force your swallows. When he pulls back, he only allows himself a second to gasp before grabbing another handful of snow. Again and again, he forces water between your cracked lips, counting each swallow like a pulse under your skin. 

The puppet stops when your tongue finally feels moist, dragging his sleeve against his mouth to dry the errant droplets on his lips. Already, the snow around him is beginning to melt, no longer aided by your fury. He understands that a Vision can influence the biological stasis of the human body, but he doubts you enjoy wet clothes sticking to your skin. 

He resorts to tearing off the coats of a Fatuus, their water-resistant design leaving its interior dry and soft. With your clothes, he is far more careful to peel them away, wrapping your shoulders the second they are exposed. The floral scarf remains secured around your head.

Fire, he thinks once you are propped against one of the ruin’s chess pieces. Clothes do not last long, and everything else is too waterlogged to be useful. He resorts to flying out of the ruins, returning with arms full of wood broken from a nearby Hilichurl encampment and tumbleweeds. He sparks the dead branches with your rifle, and as the embers begin to catch, he throws more and more until the entire clearing is glowing. 

The Wanderer almost regrets it when he returns to you. The fire highlights your sunken face and dirtied skin, drowning in the giant coat he’d wrapped you in. Your breaths come in weak, shallow pants. He needs to get you back to Sumeru, but can you even handle the trip? 

Better yet, can he? He can feel the frost creeping along his insides, 

[gojozaiacc]

SHIRT, satoru gojo

Satoru Gojo x fem!!reader Summary: After returning from a long mission Gojo finds that one of his good shirts had gone missing from his cupboard- since only one other person had a key to his room he already knew the culprit. tw!! flirting, FLUFF, cringe dialogue? angst if you squint, Gojo might seem ooc (I'm trying I promise). notes: I am obsessed with this man.

y/n glanced up from her book when a knock sounded on her dorm room door. She wasn't expecting any visitors today so her eyebrows pulled together.

Bookmarking her page, she sits the book to the side and stands up from her bed to walk over and pull open her door. Her dark brown eyes lock onto the familiar figure of Satoru Gojo.

Her heart clenched at the sight of him. She hadn't seen the sorcerer since he left a month ago for a mission.

"Hey I just got back but I can't find my-"He suddenly pauses, an amused smile appearing on his face when he notices what she's wearing. --"Is that my shirt?"

Her eyes widened and she glanced down at the oversized black shirt she wore, acting like a deer caught in headlights. Pursing her lips, she slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"Uh...no?" She lied, flashing him a non-convincing toothy grin. Satoru only tilted his head to the side, his arms folded. --"Really? so whose shirt is that?"He hums, pointing a long finger to the shirt that hung on her shoulders.

Swallowing, her lips form into a pout as she glances down at the shirt again for a millisecond. --"Mine."She squeaks out without missing a beat.

Now Satoru really did look amused. Lifting a hand to tap a finger against his chin, his blindfolded gaze made her almost shrink back. --"You wear shirts three sizes too big for you?"He muses dramatically.

y/n was certain that her face was the reddest it had ever been but she attempted to not have the nerves affect her behaviour. --"Yeah."She responds in an almost shaky voice.

Attempt failed.

Satoru only chuckles and takes a step forward, inviting himself into her room which in turn prompts y/n to take a nervous step back. His hand replaces hers on the door so he can shut it behind him.

"Alright enough of the cat and mouse game- why are you wearing my shirt?"He questions, hoping her answer would somehow stroke his already inflated ego.

y/n only frowns and glances down anxiously, folding her arms over her chest. --"You left it here last time you stayed over to watch a movie with me..."Is her quiet response.

"That doesn't explain why you're wearing it, sweetheart."He muses again, his voice slow and teasing. A frustrated sigh leaves her lips and she lifts a hand to rake through her dark hair nervously.

"Y-You were away a while..."She trails off, pausing to calm her racing heart down. --"And I missed you so..." She shrugs her shoulders pathetically, gesturing to the shirt she was wearing.

Satoru hums and strokes his chin with his index finger and thumb, pleased with her answer. He almost wanted to tease her but couldn't fight the soft smile that was appearing on his features.

"Aw-"He scoffs softly and advances towards her- his arms outstretched. --"I missed you too, sugar."He tells her in a tone that said 'I'm going to tease you about this for the rest of your life but I seriously did miss you' whilst engulfing her in a tight hug.

y/n was embarrassed but that didn't stop her from lifting her hands to grip his back tightly, worried that if she didn't squeeze hard enough he would just disappear. Satoru rested his cheek against the top of her head, arms over her shoulders and down her back.

"So...what exactly did you miss about me?"He asks in a firm teasing voice. y/n groans against his chest and shakes her head, instantly moving away from his grasp.

But Satoru wasn't going to let her go that easily- he kept a tight grip on her wrist as she shook her head, fighting the urge to crack a smile. He smirked confidently as he tugged her back towards him by her wrist.

"I hate you."She spoke- though the smile on her face was a dead giveaway that she was lying. Satoru only grinned, his hands moving from her to wrist to lace their fingers together affectionately.

"You hate me yet you missed me?"He teases, voice slow and filled with affection. Her tongue pokes against the side of her cheek, still trying desperately to hide her smile and flushed cheeks.

"You're so annoying."She mumbles with a scoffed laugh only making Satoru's smirk widen. He chuckles and lifts a hand to pinch the hem of the shirt she was wearing teasingly.

"So..."He pauses for dramatic flare. --"Is my shirt comfy?"He asks, a sudden flirting tone to his voice. y/n purses her lips and glances down to the shirt with a nod.

"I dunno...maybe you have a comfier shirt I could steal?"She hints, her tone also incredibly flirty. He chuckles and pulls her closer to him by their joined hands.

There was a certain sentiment on his features as he tugged her closer to him until their chests were practically touching, their hands fitted together between their close bodies. Lifting his other free hand, he rests it against her cheek, smiling down softly at her.

"I really did miss you."He spoke, a lopsided smile on his face. Her cheeks go red as she leans into his touch, her thumb pad stroking against the top of his hand unknowingly.

Satoru and y/n had known each other for a little over 2 years now and for as long as anyone could remember they were tiptoeing around each other in regards to 'feelings'. They were almost opposites attract in a way- she is reserved and doesn't like to speak to more than maybe 2 people a day- whilst he is open and loves hanging out with his students at any given chance.

It hadn't taken either of them long to develop feelings for one another but they never discussed those feelings. They danced around the subject and never addressed them- no matter how many times their friends would point it out.

y/n had noticed her feelings long before Satoru had. She was the girl that fell in love easy so she knew exactly what it felt like to yearn for someone. It only became more noticeable to her when Satoru would disappear for a month to go on missions and each and every time she would cuddle her pillow as though she was in mourning.

Safe to say she noticed her love for the sorcerer incredibly quickly.

Satoru on the other hand, hadn't noticed until a couple of months after y/n had. He noticed that whenever he would leave to go on a mission he would find some way to pick her up a souvenir and bring it back to her. Usually, that wasn't a dead giveaway for feelings to him but it happened frequently to the point that even if the thing he was buying her cost him all of the money he brought with him- he'd still get it for her.

They are both aware of their feelings. They just chose to ignore them out of fear and nervousness.

Satoru pulls her closer to him, his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he embraces her tighter than before. y/n accepted the hug without a second though, her arms locking around his waist and squeezing.

A soft sigh leaves his lips as their bodies pressed flush together. For once in his life, he seemed to hesitate before speaking. --"y/n?"he mumbled against her head of hair.

She hums in response, her cheek pressed against his chest. Again, he hesitates for a moment. --"Why are we fighting this?"He asks her bluntly. Her eyebrows pull together, her head lifting upwards to look at him, her chin on his chest.

She didn't have to ask what he meant by that. The intimate setting and position they were in was a no-brainer to her. Swallowing, she shrugs her shoulders.

"I'm scared..."She responds. The room was quiet enough now that Satoru could hear the ragged breath she took. He frowns.

"Of what?"He murmurs to her though he already knew her answer. She still hadn't moved from his grip. --"That you'll break my heart."Is her whispered answer.

A long silence passes through them as he lifts both of his hands to cup her face. --"I would never break your heart."He mumbles, the pads of his thumbs stroking up and down her cheekbones.

She shivers under his touch, brown eyes wide with affection as she stares up at him. --"You promise?"She whispered, tilting her head to the side a little.

A soft smile appears on his face as he finally leans down, pausing for a second as their faces are an inch apart. The pupils in her eyes dilated as she stared at were his eyes would be if they weren't covered by his blindfold.

And after a nearly unnoticeable nod by her, their lips meet in a soft touch. Her brown eyes fluttered shut as his grip on her cheeks tightened a little so he could pull her face closer to his as his mouth moved almost bruisingly against hers.

The kiss was over quicker than it had begun. Satoru had been the first one to pull back, his forehead resting against hers as she purses her lips and shuts her eyes nervously.

"I promise."

A soft smile appeared on her face, her heart fluttering as she opened her eyes again to stare up at him- pupils completely dilated by this point. --"Maybe I should steal your shirts more often..."She trails off with an awkward chuckle.

A soft laugh bursts from his lips as he nods, his hands sliding to play with the hem of the shirt she had stolen from him. --"You look good in them."He tells her, a small smirk on his voice.

A soft look appears on her face as she suddenly rises onto her topes, arms going around his neck as she hugs him the tightest she'd ever hugged him before.

"Please don't ever leave for that long again..."She mumbled into his shoulder as his arms go around her waist, a soft smile on his face.

"I'll try."

notes: so, this was my first try at writing for Gojo so I'm sorry if he appears out of character- I tried really hard :((

[ofstoriesandstardust]

the one where they go camping (b.r.b.)

a/n: i started sending thoughts about the one bed trope with @gretagerwigsmuse​ and it suddenly turned into a full-fledged fic. also, there’s a playlist for this fic!! this is probably a full-fledged disaster but idk i enjoyed it. 

summary: You spend your spring break camping with your friends from UVA. Cue the most awkward five days of your life when it turns out you and Bradley will have to share a bed. 

flight risk masterlist | UVA cast of characters

warnings: swearing, alcohol, one bed trope, cuddling, arguing, food mentions, there’s a knife but it’s only used in a cooking context, the word bitch is used in a derogatory context, canon death of a parent, body insecurity, reference to former toxic relationships, sunshine needs therapy, this is semi-researched and semi my imagination, man i sure do love those fucking commas

word count: 10,612

The sound of keys being tossed on the table catches your attention. You look up from your book, catching a glimpse of Bailey, pulling out a chair next to you. From across her is Madison with Bradley, who is pulling the chair out across from you. You squint in the sunlight, offering him a soft smile. 

"Hey Sunshine.” He says as he sits, tugging his backpack off his shoulders. 

“Hi.” 

“Any fun plans for spring break?” 

You pick up your bookmark, shutting it in the book and setting it on the table as you shake your head. “No, I’ll probably just hang out here. Sleep maybe.” 

Bailey’s head flies up from where she’s looking through her bag. “What?” 

You furrow your eyebrows. “What you do you mean what?”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond as Tommy approaches the table, Eli behind him dragging two other chairs from another table to where you’re sat in the courtyard. It’s a warmer than usual day for March, letting you study outside for the first time in months. 

“Are we discussing camping over here?” Tommy asks, sitting down between Bailey and Bradley. Eli wedges himself in between Tommy and Bradley, barely fitting in the group. 

Bailey nods absent-mindedly, still staring at you. “I thought you were coming camping with us.” 

“Oh- I didn’t-” You swallow, feeling the itch to pull the sleeves of your UVA sweatshirt down around your fingers. “I didn’t realize I was invited.” You mumble, cheeks going hot. 

“What do mean you didn’t realize you were invited? Madison and I discussed it like, six times in front of you.” 

You shrug. “I don’t have any gear to go camping. I’ve never actually even been camping.” 

“How have you never been camping?” Eli asks incredulously, eyes going wide. 

You shrug again. “I don’t know, we always did backyard campouts. My parents couldn’t really afford to take the time off of work.” 

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t think you’d be invited.” 

“I don’t know Bailey, it- it wasn’t an explicit invitation.” You stammer out, wanting to shrink down in your chair. “My parents always told me to never assume I’d been invited places or to invite myself to outings or trips. I didn’t want to assume I’d been invited and have nobody want me there.” 

The table falls silent at the words and you resist the urge to squirm. Madison grabs your wrist, forcing you to look at her as she says your name softly. “You’re invited. We want you there. You don’t need to worry about gear or anything; Tommy and I are already compiling all of our stuff.” 

“Okay.” You say softly, as she gives you a bright smile. 

“Cool beans, cool bean.” She says, punching a laugh out of both you and Bradley. 

“Didn’t you do Girl Scouts?” Eli asks, still frowning. “I’m still struggling to comphrend the fact that you’ve never been camping.” 

You shrug. “Yeah, but only for a few years when I was little. It just got expensive, especially cause my siblings had their own extracurriculars and whatever. Never really got to the age where we did the whole camping thing. Who’s all going on this trip?” 

“You, me, Bails, Mads, Eli and Bradley. I thought Kade would join us but he has to work.” Tommy responds. 

“What about Anna?” You ask, eyebrow raised. “Or Blake, I know he likes camping.” 

Tommy coughs awkwardly. “Yeah, well Blake is busy I think. Anna is going to Oregon to see her boyfriend.” 

“Oh, gotcha.” You glance at the time on your watch. “Anyways, I have to go to class.” 

“We’re leaving on Sunday at seven am sharp! Four days and five nights. Madison will pick you up. Bring clothes to swim cause we’re going to the lake.” Bailey says, pulling a notebook out of her bag. 

“Are you guys still camping at Lake Shenandoah? Why leave so early?” 

“Only gonna be there for five days. We have to maximize our time.” Madison says authoritatively, pulling her sunglasses down on to her face. 

“There can’t be that much to do.” You mutter as you stand up from the table.

“What was that?” 

“Nothing!”

-

Someone calls your name, making you turn. It’s Tommy, running out of the office you’d just walked past. “Hey Tommy.” You say, turning to face him. You have to look up to make eye contact with him, his lanky body towering over yours (and everyone else’s). 

“Hey, I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to talk to you about camping actually.” 

You raise an eyebrow, trying not to suck in your bottom lip to chew on it nervously. 

Did they not want you to go anymore? 

“So, we’ve done some preliminary packing and it turns out there’s not going to be enough room for Madison to drive you.” You swallow, waiting for the inevitable. 

Sorry, we just don’t have room. Maybe next time? 

He continues on however, not noticing your sudden panic. “Anyways, Bailey and Madison will be in Mads car together, but the only other person who’s car will fit all of us is Bradley’s, cause my truck will only fit two people and Eli refuses to drive his quote ‘nice, expensive car to a camp site’ so we’re left with Bradley’s. Anyways, are you cool to ride with him?” 

You nod, even though the thought of being in a car with Bradley for a whole hour feels like the worst idea. 

At least there would be other people? And, given the hierarchy of the friend group, you’d probably end up in the back. 

It would be fine. 

He smiles. “Great. Bradley has your address, right? He’ll pick you up at eight. Eli vetoed the leaving at seven thing.” 

“Oh great, a whole extra hour.” 

Tommy chuckles. “He was originally pushing for eleven.” 

“And that somehow got negotiated down to eight?” 

“Bailey threatened to key his car if he didn’t stop being difficult.” 

“Why do you hang out with him again?” 

“He’s cool.” 

“Yeah, remember when Bailey told you you were frat bro-adjacent? She was right.” You say, turning on your heel. 

“See you Sunday!″ He calls from behind you, smile clear in his tone.

-

You’re sitting out on your front porch, fiddling with your shoelaces nervously as you wait for Bradley. The sun is still rising, just peaking over the horizon. Your head is tucked up into your knees, admiring the sky when Bradley’s car emerges from around the corner. 

You lift your head, up, noticing it's just him in the vehicle as he parks in front of your house. “Where’s your annoying buddy?” You call as he steps out of the car, the door slamming shut behind him. 

He sighs, rounding the vehicle. “Oh boy do I have a story for you.” 

You give a half-laugh, standing up from the step as he walks up the sidewalk towards you. “What? What happened? What did I miss?” 

He shakes his head, not answering the question as he picks up the duffle bag that was siting by your feet. You double-check that the front door is locked and then follow him to the car, where he’s setting the bag in the back with his stuff. “Hop on in.” 

You pull the front passenger door open, sliding in the seat. “Can we stop and get road trip snacks?” 

He pauses from where he’s putting the key in the ignition to look at you. “It’s an hour drive.” 

You shrug, pulling your seatbelt on. “Well, you don't have to get anything but I’m hungry and didn’t eat breakfast. Plus, I love a good road trip snack.” 

He sighs, starting the car. “Yeah, I didn’t eat anything either. We can stop at McDonald’s, if you want.” 

“That works.” 

“Thank you for putting your seatbelt on, by the way.” He says, starting to pull out from your driveway.

“With this friend group, no one goes anywhere without it on.” 

“I know, but I DD for the frat parties and you would not believe how hard it is to get drunk frat boys to put their seat belts on.” 

You chuckle. “I could guess.” There’s a pause as you consider your next words. “You know, I always forget you’re in a frat because you don’t act like a typical frat bro.” 

He turn his head, half towards you, still keeping his eyes on the road. “Oh yeah? Why is that?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know. Frat bros are certain type of people like...” You trail off, searching for how to describe the guys he hang out with without also insulting the people he’s around so often. 

“Like Eli?” He asks, a smile growing on his face. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out, returning his smile. “Like Eli.” 

“I’m kind of annoyed at him at the moment, so you can talk shit, it’s okay. I know you don’t like him.” 

“Bailey doesn’t like him.” You correct. “I really don’t mind him. I know you guys are best buds. Why’re you annoyed?” 

He grumbles as the two of you pull into the McDonald’s parking lot. “I’m annoyed with all of them. You missed the packing disaster that happened last night, but to make a long story short, Tommy ended up having to drive and didn’t want to drive alone. It would’ve made sense for him to just come grab you and have the two of you drive in his truck since Eli and I live together, and I could’ve driven us but no, you were too far from Tommy’s and Eli wanted to hangout with Tommy and drive with him so somehow Eli ended up spending the night at Tommy’s and now we’re here.”

“So the short version is our friends are pains in the asses?”  

He chuckles, turning to look at you as he pulls into the drive-thru line. “Pretty much. What do you want?” 

-

You shift in your seat, trying to get a better look at the place as Bradley pulls into the driveway. “Bailey and Madison did good.” 

“How the fuck did they beat us here?” 

You pull your gaze from the small but cozy-looking cabin, to where Bradley’s eyeing the other cars in the driveway. Sure enough, there’s Tommy’s truck and Madison’s white Chevrolet SUV that somehow always felt larger than necessary. You shrug. “I don’t know, we did stop for McDonald’s.” 

“Yeah, but when have you ever known our friends to leave on time?” 

You tilt your head in acknowledgement of his question. “True.” 

The two of you climb out of the car, Bradley grabbing the bags out of the back as you trek up the driveway. The front door opens before you can even knock, revealing a grinning Bailey. 

“You guys finally made it! Bradley, the boys are upstairs, if you wanna take y’alls stuff up there.” She grabs your wrist, already moving you towards the kitchen. “Let me give you the full tour.”

The cabin is two-stories, with a small kitchen and a dining table just big enough to fit all six of you. She shows you the back area of the house from the French doors in the kitchen, where there’s a wonderful lake view and a fire pit. There's a smaller living room, with a loveseat and a recliner in front of a fireplace. She takes you up the stairs, where you realize with a sinking heart that there’s only three bedrooms. 

“So this is the master, which is mine and Madison’s, because Madison planned the trip and I found this place. That’s Eli and Tommy’s room down the hall, with the two twin beds. Which means...” 

“I’ll be sharing a bed with Bradley.” You sigh. The bed isn’t very big, a double if you had to guess. 

Fuck. 

You turn slightly, shooting Bailey a look. “You did this on purpose.” You whisper as the boys emerge from the room down the hall. 

She sighs shaking her head. “No, we weren’t expecting Eli to be such a pain in the ass about the sleeping arrangements.” 

You raise an eyebrow, doubting her words. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really Bailey?” Madison asks, appearing over Bailey’s shoulder. “He’s the reason we’re in a cabin and not camping camping.” 

“There’s dirt!” Eli shrieks as Bradley wedges himself in the doorway, realizing what the three of you are discussing. He gives you a brief glance, offering you a nervous smile. 

“We’ll make it work. Only four nights right?”

-

You glance up from your book but quickly pull your attention back down once you catch sight of Bradley in nothing but his boxers.  

He was trying to kill you, you were convinced of it. 

Your eyes remained firmly planted on the page, even though they aren’t absorbing any of the words, becoming a blurry mess as you focus really hard on not looking back up to see practically naked Bradley. He flops down on the bed, only shifting up to turn the lights off, flooding the room in pitch-black darkness. 

“Goodnight Sunshine.” He mutters, rolling over on the bed to have his back facing you. 

“Hey, I was reading!” You protest, fumbling on your side of the bed for the switch to your lamp. 

“Stop studying, we’re on spring break.” He says, hand blindly reaching out to grab the book out of your hand. He rolls over to put it on his nightstand with a rather loud thump. 

You gape at the faint outline of his figure, barely illuminated by the light under the crack of the door. “You’re a pain in my ass. I won’t even know where I stopped. ” 

“Yes, you will, because you always write in your books. Go to sleep.” 

You huff, but comply, setting the pen you are in fact holding on your nightstand and pulling the covers over you as you roll to have your back face his. You shut your eyes, listening to the only sound in the house of Tommy washing the dishes downstairs. 

It’s not long after that the light downstairs and in the hallway gets shut off, Tommy being the last one up and apparently going to bed for the night. The room does become pitch-black, the house falling silent. 

You aren’t sure how long you lay there, eyes squeezed shut as sleep continuously escapes you. 

All of the sudden, Bradley lets out a loud snore, causing you to jump. You shift up, looking over to him. As your eyes have adjusted to the dark, you see the faint outline of his chest rising and falling continuously. You let out a soft groan, palms of your hands reaching up to press themselves into your eyes. 

It was going to be a long night. 

-

The first thing you realize when you wake up is the fact that you’re abnormally warm. 

It’s March and you’re in a cabin in the middle of the woods. For as much as you had all played with thermostat the night before when the darkness had settled in, and with it the colder temperatures, you hadn’t gotten it to be very warm in the cabin before giving up and going to bed for the night. 

The second thing you register is that there’s a steady weight across your stomach and something tangled in your legs. You slowly let your eyes open, taking in the sunlight filtering in through the blinds, the sound of the coffee maker on downstairs. Tommy must be awake already. 

You turn your head slightly, following the arm thrown around your center. The steady weight is connect to the person next to you who’s...

oh shit. 

You wince, realizing what’s happening. 

Bradley-the-human-furnace-Bradshaw is cuddling you. 

Worse yet, you think he’s still asleep, which means he isn’t conscious of what he’s doing. At all. 

That’s what you tell yourself as you begin to panic, unsure of what to do. Did you wake him up? Did you tell him to get off of you?

You had to admit that it was nice, the way he was holding you. The way his arms around you made you feel protected. Safe. It felt a little like being home, if you were honest. 

You’d never felt that before. 

You take a deep breath to center yourself, remembering that you and Bradley weren’t even friends. You were just two people who knew each other because of a mutual friend group. You were just two people who’d been invited on this camping trip and got stuck sharing a bed together. 

It meant nothing. He didn’t mean anything by it. 

He stirs, shifting slightly on the bed. You quickly turn your head, trying to ignore the way he’d looked with the golden rays dancing on his skin, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Maybe you could pretend you were still asleep and the two of you would never have to talk about this and could pretend it never happened. 

Yeah, that was a good plan. 

He shifts, arm tightening around your middle as he rolls closer. You can practically feel his breath on the crook of your neck. “Morning Sunshine.” 

The words take your breath clean from your throat as you tense, willing yourself to be very still. Maybe he thinks you’re still asleep. 

“I know you’re not asleep.” The smile is clear in his voice and you move your head a little, looking back at him, swallowing when you realize how close he is. How good he looks in the morning. 

“Hi.” You whisper. 

“Hey.” He says, but then pulls his arm back, untangling his legs from yours. You instantly feel cold. “Sorry about that. I’ve been told I’m a cuddler in my sleep. Probably should’ve warned you.” 

“It’s fine.” You say, the words physically painful to squeeze out. He sits up, comforter falling around his hips to reveal his naked chest that is bathed in golden sunlight. You turn back around, squeezing your eyes shut once more at the sight of him. 

“What are we doing today, do you remember?” 

“Um.” You swallow, throat scratchy. “I think we’re going hiking I think Madison said.”

Behind you, you can feel him move off the bed, his weight disappearing. You can hear him move around the room, walking to where his bag is sat and unzipping it. “Sounds good. I’m gonna get changed. See you downstairs.” 

“Yeah.” 

You hold your breath until you hear the bedroom door click shut, and then begin to count backwards from 20 by 2s as you try to regulate your breathing. 

Then you sit up, not bothering to grab clothes to change into as you dart out of the room and down the hall, grabbing Bailey’s arm as she steps out of her room. Her eyes scan your face, searching for a sign of something being wrong. 

“What? Is everything okay?” She asks. The two of you are squeezed in the doorway as Madison stands on the other side in the room, listening to the conversation. 

“I woke up to Bradley cuddling me.” You mumble, eyes flickering to the door of Tommy’s room opening. 

Her frown changes to a smile, growing wider. “Oh yeah? And then what? You two finally bang it out? Have sleepy, cuddly sex?” 

You shoot her a look. “Fuck off that, will you?”

Madison snickers, causing you to also toss her a withering look. 

“Whatcha girls talking about over there?” Eli calls, Bradley appearing over his shoulder. 

“The stick up your ass.” Bailey calls back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the room, slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Smooth, B.” Madison mutters. 

Bailey ignores Madison, turning to face you with her hands on her hips. “Tell me everything. Now.” 

You faceplant on the bed with a groan. “There’s nothing to tell. I woke up to him cuddling me in his sleep and then he said ‘Sorry, I’m a cuddler in my sleep’ and then got up and left.”

The words are muffled into the comforter of the bed as your legs dangle off the side. It goes quiet in the room and you almost wonder if they didn’t hear you. Finally, you lift your had, pushing yourself into a seated position as you bring your legs to sit criss-cross. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to be normal around him now. He literally wears nothing but his underwear to bed. I just have to look at him like that after he cuddled me in his sleep and somehow be normal?” 

“So don’t.” Bailey says with a simple shrug. “Grow a pair and tell him. Tell him that you have a huge raging crush on him and then bang it out and become the world’s cutest couple so the rest of us can stop doing this dance with the two of you.” 

“You don’t have to sleep with him, like that.” Madison adds, sitting down on the bed. “But you should tell him how you feel about him.” 

You groan again, moving to face-plant once more into the comforter but Madison’s hand shoots out, keeping you upright. “He doesn’t like me back, I told you that.” 

“You’re the only one who thinks that.” Madison says firmly, giving you a little push so you’re upright. 

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” Bailey says flatly with an eyebrow raised. 

“It’s not denial, Bails. He doesn’t like me like that. I don’t even think he’s sees us as friends. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m annoying.” 

She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You’re impossible.” She says, turning around to the door. 

“Will one of you switch rooms with me, please?” You beg, turning to Madison first, knowing that if anyone will switch with you, it will be her. Her eyes flicker over to Bailey, who shakes her head. 

“Do you honestly think any of the other guys would’ve accidentally cuddled you in their sleep?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, he did say this is normal for him.” 

Bailey sighs, taking another step back closer to the door. “I don’t think he’s the only one making excuses.” 

“What does that mean?” 

She ignores the question, hand on the doorknob. “Give it one more night and if you’re still uncomfortable, you and I will switch.” She opens the door, slipping out into the hallway. 

Madison squeezes your shoulder. “Tommy just made us a pot of coffee. Do you want me to pour you a cup while you get dressed?” 

You look down, realizing you’re still in pajamas. “Yeah, that’d be great.” 

She nods standing up from the bed, as you fall backwards on the bed, the heels of your hands once again coming to press into your eyes. 

You were so screwed. 

-

You squint, the bright sun overhead filtering in through the trees as the sounds of your friends yelling at each other causes the birds to fly away from the treetops. 

“I told you, we’re lost!” Bailey shouts, throwing her hands up in frustration. “And it’s all your fault, because you ignored Madison and said you knew where you were going!” 

“I do know where we’re going! I’ve made this hike a hundred times!” Eli shouts back. 

“Okay, both of you, cut it out. Bickering isn’t going to change the fact that we’re standing on the edge of a cliff.” Tommy said, wedging himself between Bailey and Eli. 

“I’ll push him off the edge of the cliff.” Bailey says, hands moving to her hips a she stares daggers down at Eli. 

“You’re a bitch.” Eli shoots, causing Bradley’s head to fly up from where he’s watching you kick a rock. 

“Hey!” He shouts. “Uh uh, we don’t talk about women like that.” 

“Don’t bother Bradshaw, I take pride in being called a bitch. “ Bailey says smugly. 

“Oh, of course you do.” Eli snarks, rolling his eyes. 

“Where the fuck is Madison going?” You mutter, watching her disappear off the trail and into the bushes. 

“The right way probably.” Bradley mutters back. 

“Should we follow her?” 

He tilts his head in consideration of your question. “We could. Or, hear me out-” He says, holding his hands out. “-we could go back to the cabin and play cards.” 

You bite your lip, nervous about the prospect of being all alone with him since this morning, but one look back to Tommy keeping Bailey and Eli form ripping each other’s throats out is enough to have you nodding. 

“Done deal, Bradshaw. Lead the way.” 

The two of you walk down the path from which you came, the shouting and bickering of your friends slowly tapering off into the distance. It’s quiet for a minute as you follow his footsteps, crunching over the leaves and dirt along the trail. 

“So... you excited about graduating?” 

He shrugs, pulling back to fall in step with you. “Kind of. This trip is making it all sort of real for me you know? This is the last time it’ll ever be like this.”

“Any grand post-grad plans?” 

“I’m enlisting.” Your head flies up at the words. 

“You- wait, you really are?” 

He nods, offering you nervous smile. “Yeah, I sent in my paperwork the morning I came to pick you up. I’ll have a better idea in a little while of where I’ll be going in a few weeks, but it’s happening, pretty much straight away.” 

“Wow.” You mutter. 

On the one hand, you’re thrilled for Bradley to get everything he's ever wanted. For as long as you known him, the Navy was the dream. Everything he’s worked for would soon be coming into fruition for him. 

On the other hand, you’re terrified. Terrified you may never hear from him again, that Bradley Bradshaw may become nothing more than a memory to everybody who’s ever known or loved him. 

Because that was it, wasn’t it?

To know Bradley Bradshaw was to love him. 

And maybe that didn’t scare you as much as it should’ve, the thought that you might be in love with this boy. 

But what did scare you was what could happen to one of the kindest human beings you’d ever met. 

He catches your look, reaching out to gently nudge your shoulder. “Hey now, don’t worry Sunshine. I’ll be as safe as can be.” You offer him a smile, nodding. “So what about you? Going anywhere fun for the summer? Tom and Bailey mentioned something about you going to D.C.?”  

You shake your head. “Nah, nowhere fun. The D.C. trip kind of fell through and I couldn’t really afford it to begin with. I decided to renew the lease on my house with my roommate. I’ll just be working. Maybe doing research if my proposal gets approved.” 

His face brightens. “Hey, that’s great Sunshine! You get paid for that?” 

You nod. “Through the school, yeah. And that’s if they accept me.” 

“I have no doubt in my mind that they will.” He sighs, looking at you before biting his lip. “Hey Sunshine, about this morning, if I made you uncomfortable or-”

You shake your head. “No! No, I-” You cut yourself off, unsure of what to say to assure him that it wasn’t him, it was you. 

“I just wanted to apologize in case I made you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I would want to do.” 

You take a shuddering breath at how kind he is, the way it makes your heart do silly little things, like want to reach over and kiss him, before you can bring yourself to respond. “Nope, you’re all good Bradshaw.” You say, forcing a smile. 

And you'd make it be good. 

-

“Sunshine, what are you doing?” 

You look up from where you’re setting up the pillows to Bradley, who’s just walked through the door. He’s wearing sweatpants tonight (albeit still no shirt) but you’re grateful nonetheless because maybe with pants on you’ll be able to maintain some semblance of normality around him. 

Kind of.

“Sunshine?” He asks again and you shake your head, looking back down at the decorative pillows you’d grabbed from the loveseat earlier. 

“I’m building a pillow wall. So that way we, you know, both get our own side of the bed, and there’s no accidental cuddling or anything.” 

He clears his throat awkwardly, an unusual blush rising on his cheeks. “Sunshine, I told you I was sorry about that.” 

You shrug. “And I told you it was fine. But problem solved.” 

Really, truly, honestly - it was boundary for you and you alone. You were afraid that if you woke up one more time to him cuddling you in nothing but his underwear, you do something stupid. Like kiss him or tell him about your stupid crush on him. 

Still, his jaw tenses, his hand twitching at his side. The two of you stand in awkward silence for a minute before he finally sighs. “Okay. Whatever you want.”

He walks the few paces towards the bed and then climbs in, pulling the covers all the way up to his chin, leaving you to get the lights. You sigh, walking towards the door and flicking them off. You walk around the bed to climb in on your side, curling up all the way at the very edge of the bed. 

The tension hangs in the room, his body stiff. You wait for him to tell you goodnight like he had the night before but he says nothing. 

It’s not long that the two of you are laying there before a loud cheer erupts from downstairs. 

Your friends had long passed the line between tipsy into drunk and both you and Bradley had tapped out when they started creeping into drunkenly obnoxious territory. 

“What the fuck are they doing down there?’ You ask, shifting slightly to look back towards the door. 

He grunts.

“Sorry.” You whisper, turning back around. “Good night Bradley.” 

“Night.” 

-

When Bradley wakes up, you’re all too aware of it, having tossed and turned all night long. You were surprised he didn’t kick you out of the bed from how much you had rolled around, although you’d tried to sit very still for as long as possible. 

At one point you even went to the bathroom just to sit so as not to bother him. Unfortunately, Eli came in not long after to puke so the reprieve was short-lived. 

A quick glance at the digital clock on the nightstand next to you tells you it’s only 6:10 am, far too early for Bradley to be up, and much less any of your friends who are definitely going to have hangovers. You shift slightly, watching as he sits up, pulling the comforter off of him. 

He gently pushes himself off the bed and softly pads towards the door, shutting it behind him with a gentle click. You hold your breath, waiting for him to return to the room, thinking he’s just peeing, but it’s only when you realize it’s 6:31 am that he’s not coming back. 

You groan, rolling back over as an ache settles in your chest. 

Maybe now you’d finally be able to get some sleep. 

-

When you’re awoken again, it’s to the sound of the door opening and someone saying your name. You groan, rolling over to the offender. You’re greeted by the sight of Bailey standing there with the door wide open. 

“Good. You’re alive.” 

“The fuck do you want?” You say through a yawn, a quick glance to the clock showing you it’s 11:17 am. 

“Everyone minus Madison is downstairs eating breakfast and then we’re all going to the lake.” 

“Where’s Madison?” You ask, not moving from the bed. 

“Violently hungover. Eli quote ‘puked and rallied’, but Tommy and I can hold our alcohol. We also had way less to drink than the other two.” 

You hum, but still make no move to get off the bed. She nods her head towards the downstairs. “C’mon, up and at ‘em.” 

“Can’t I join you guys later? I didn’t sleep very good last night.” 

Her eyes skim over the pillows next to you. “I can imagine, what with the great pillow wall of Lake Shenandoah. That Bradshaw’s idea?” 

“Mine.” 

She blows out a breath. “Explains why he was up at the ass crack of dawn. Even beat Tommy up. C’mon, he made sure we saved you some breakfast and a cup of coffee.” 

With a final groan, you push yourself off the bed and follow her into the hallway and down the stairs. The boys grin at the sight of you, Bradley even offering you a small smile over the rim of his coffee cup. 

“Hey sleeping beauty, thanks for joining us here in the land of the living.” Tommy teases. 

“Good afternoon.” Eli says, a smirk on his face. Your eyes flicker to the time on the oven (11:21 am) and then back to Eli’s face. 

“Fuck off, it’s not even noon yet.” 

“Practically could be.” 

“Good morning.” Bradley says softly as you approach the stove, picking up the coffee cup that’s sitting next to him. “Here, I save you the last cup of coffee although I wasn’t sure what you liked in it. And I made sure we saved you some breakfast: eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns. There’s also toast.” 

You don’t even have the heart to tell him that Bailey had already told you all of this, what with the way he’s looking at you so genuinely, so earnestly. “Thank you Bradley, really.”

Tommy clears his throat, standing up from the table. “Alright well, I’m ready to go down to the lake, if everybody else is.” There’s muttered agreement, your friends moving from their various places in the space. 

“You’ll come down and join us when you’re ready, right?” Bradley says, a little concern filtering into his tone. You muster up a smile, hands wrapping tighter around the coffee mug. 

“Will do Bradshaw.” 

You watch them from the window for the next hour, puttering around the kitchen as you clean up the dishes from breakfast. It’s the least you can do considering everyone else cooked. 

You were definitely not stalling, suddenly nervous to go outside to the lake in a bathing suit with all the boys, knowing they’d be looking at you. 

You still couldn’t forget the way Noah’s eyes had roamed over your body, saying it might be a little too much. 

That you were a little too much. 

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you braced yourself against the counter. 

You didn’t do that anymore. You hadn’t done that in months. They were your friends and they’d never make you feel small or uncomfortable or-

ugly. unwanted.

You’d packed both bathing suits you own, one more risqué than the other. Both were one-pieces, easy to cover-up in, but the words you ex-boyfriend had said to you about the one that showed off your chest and had an open back lingered in your mind, reassuring you that the simple suit was the much better option. 

You pull your hair back, sighing as you try to work up the nerve to go downstairs and outside. 

“Hey.” 

You turn, seeing Madison in the doorway. “Hey. You don’t look as awful as I thought you would.” 

She shrugs, leaning up against the doorway. “I think if I went outside, I’d throw up. But other than that, I’m definitely feeling better than I was at 9 am. Cute suit.” 

You look down, adjusting the strap of the blue-green clothing. “Thanks.” 

“I still like the red one better though.” 

“Yeah?” You ask, your teeth catching your bottom lip. 

She nods. “Yeah, I like the back on it and I think the color suits you a lot more.” 

“Should I change?” You ask, turning back around to look at yourself in the mirror. 

She shrugs. “Up to you. I’m going back to my cave of darkness.” 

You sigh, turning back towards your room to change into the other suit. 

You’d packed shorts and a t-shirt to go over the suit in case you did get insecure (you knew you would) and well- no one said you had to get in the lake, right?

You groan as you pause at the doors, suddenly wanting to turn around, go back to the bedroom, slip under the covers and hide. 

Because Bailey was Bailey. She had always reminded how pretty you were even when you couldn’t see it. 

And Tommy was Tommy. He saw you as a little sister, someone he could goof around with and build Legos with. 

And Eli could choke. 

But Bradley? 

It was important to you what Bradley thought of you. Especially in a bathing suit, because apparently you were twelve again, wanting the approval of the boys at the pool party.

You sigh as you slip out the French doors and out across the grass to where the group is located. Tommy’s a ways out, disappearing beneath the waves with every passing moment, brunette curls sticking his face. Bailey and Eli are stood on the edge of the shore, bickering. 

And there’s Bradley, sat in a camping chair, beer in hand. 

“Hey.” 

He looks up at you, face squinting from the bright sun overhead. “Hey. Why aren’t you changed?” 

You glance down at the t-shirt from your high school with the word S E N I O R S spelled out like the Friends logo. “Oh, I did, but I figured the lake might be cold...”

You can’t help but let your eyes roam over his body, the way his tan skin looks in the sunlight of the day. Where his once-wet curls are slowly drying, curling more than usual, especially around the nape of his neck. You can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to reach out and run your fingers through them. 

“It’s not that cold, honestly.” 

You nod absentmindedly, watching as Tommy swims closer to shore. You bite your lip as Tommy hoists himself up on the deck that sits out over the lake. 

These were your friends, but even you weren’t blind to the fact that they were all a great-looking group of people. And they’d never make you feel small. But it was hard not to feel insecure standing next to guys and girls who got everyone they wanted, Bradley included. 

“You coming back out Bradshaw?” Tommy calls. He looks up to you, pulling his sunglasses off. 

“Depends. You gonna join us?” 

You blow out a breath. “Yeah, I guess I could come sit for a little while.” 

The two of you head down towards the dock, as you try to remind yourself that it doesn’t matter what Bradley Bradshaw thinks of you in a bathing suit. You woke up to him cuddling you the other day; how could it get any worse?

You follow him down towards the lack, the grass beneath your feet tickling slightly. 

Memories of summers spent in your back yard, running through the hose with your siblings, flash through your brain. The nostalgic ache for the familiar itch of grass on your bare legs and laughter settles in your chest as you watch Bradley cannon ball into the lake with Eli.  

You swallow as Bailey tugs your arm, dragging you further on to the deck. “C’mon, get in the water with me.” 

“Um-” You say, eyes flickering back over to the boys, Tommy diving into the water and popping up next to Eli and Bradley. “What if they say something about-”

You cut yourself off, unable to bring yourself to say the words, but you know she understands anyways. 

She raises an eyebrow, giving you an unimpressed look. “I’ll cut their dicks off if they do.” 

The words punch a laugh out of you, some of your nerves going with it. You had known Bailey long enough to know that that was a threat she’d follow through on. 

You shake your head, already reaching to pull your shirt off. “Okay, okay.” You pull your shorts off, walking further down the deck with Bailey by your side as the boys attention drifts to you. 

It takes everything in you not to shrink back as you watch Bradley’s eyes go wide. Eli catches the moment, whispering something only him and Tommy can hear, causing Bradley to punch his shoulder before tipping his head back into the water. 

Your mouth suddenly tastes sour, your self-consciousness rising through your stomach and up into your throat as you near the edge of the deck, realizing they’re all watching you. 

It almost makes you want to turn around and go back into the house, but you don’t get a chance as Bailey is grabbing your hand. “On the count of three, okay?” 

“Wait-”

“One.”

“No, Bailey-” 

“Two.” 

“I don’t want to-”

“Three!” She shouts, leaving you with no choice but to jump with her for fear of being tugged off the deck if you didn't.

The water is cold against your skin as you preemptively scrunch up your face, hoping to keep the water out of your eyes. 

You gasp for breath you break the surface, hair already clinging to your back as you blink, searching for your friends. 

A splash of water catches your attention, causing you to turn your head. It’s Bailey, popping up after you. “That was fun.” 

“For one of us.” 

She lets out a little laugh, offering you a shrug. It’s quiet for a minute as the two of you try to catch your breath before she nods towards the boys, signaling to head over to them. “Thanks for joining us on this trip.” 

You nod as the two of you move towards the boys. “Thanks for inviting me.” 

“We’re happy to have you here.” 

-

A few hours later, you watch the sun begin to set in the distance, the orange hues settling across the lake in ripples. You take a deep breath as you admire the view, the distant conversation not even distracting you. 

Until there’s a particularly loud splash of water. 

You turn, spotting Eli swim away from Bailey as fast as he can. 

Bradley floats over to you as you watch Bailey try to shove Eli under the water as she catches up to him. “Hey, your strap is all twisted.” He says, pointing to the top of your suit. 

You look down, realizing it’s twisted all the way to the back. “Oh shit. Do you think you could untwist it for me? I don’t think I’ll be able to get it.” 

He nods, swimming a little bit closer to reach out for your shoulder. “It’s a nice suit, by the way.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, the color looks good on you.” He says, pulling away and offering you a small smirk.

You think your cheeks are as red as the suit adorning your body. 

-

You pad down the stairs, wet hair falling over your shoulder where the water seeps into your UVA t-shirt. Bradley’s alone in the kitchen, cooking dinner. He looks up at the noise, smiling at the sight of you. “Hey.” 

“Smells good.” You say, walking further into the kitchen. He nods. 

“Yeah, I wanted to do something a little bit more involved for dinner tonight since I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in our friend group who can actually cook besides Madison and she’s still hungover.” 

“You want help?” 

“Actually, yeah, could you help me cut the bell peppers? It would really speed things along.” You nod, taking the knife from him, even though you have no idea what the proper way way to slice a bell pepper is.

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

You stand there, examining the vegetable in your hand as you debate the best way to approach this, desperately wanting to not fuck it up. 

“You know what you’re doing there?” He asks, eyebrows raised. You point the knife at him. 

“Hey, I might not have the cooking skills of Madison but I think I can figure out how to cut a bell pepper.” 

There’s a pause as he stares at you. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Here, I’ll show you.” His voice is void of a condescending tone, which you appreciate. 

He takes one of your hands, curling your fingers inward. “See, you always want to have your fingers curled inward, otherwise you run the risk of chopping your fingers off.” You nod as he takes the hand, setting it on the bell pepper while the other hand guides the hand the knife is in. “You’re just gonna cut the bottom and top off like this.” He says, demonstrating the movements. 

His skin feels warm against yours as you desperately try not to lean into him, his chest pressed against your back. “Where’d you learn how to cook Bradshaw?” 

The question is meant to be teasing but your tone ends up being more genuine as you feel him chuckle, chest vibrating. “My Mom. She always made me help her cook growing up. It was a way for us to bond. Food kind of brought us together, I guess.” 

“She sounds like she’s a great woman.” You whisper, tilting your head just enough to look in his yes. 

A flash of pain crosses his face, even as he returns your smile. “She was.” he says softly. “I wish you could’ve met her. She would’ve loved you.” 

You swallow, realizing how close the two of you are. How vulnerable he’s being and how much you just want to reach up and-

He clears his throat, ducking his head. “Anyways, um, you just cut the inside pieces of like this and then cut it into slices.” 

You nod, blinking at the sudden change in tone and body language, the wya he had rushed walking you through the second half of the process. “Alright, thanks.” 

He gives you a small smile, stepping out of your space. “No problem.” 

The two of you work alongside each other, the only sound coming from Bradley humming to the ABBA songs playing from the small speaker in the corner of the kitchen. As you cut the bell peppers, you think about the way Bradley hasn’t called you Sunshine since before “the great wall of Lake Shenandoah” as Bailey insisted on calling it, the way he’d made sure to keep his distance. 

In an effort to keep yourself under control, you’d somehow managed to make things worse.

Yet, he’d still saved you breakfast and was teaching you how to cut bell peppers. The kindness in his eyes whenever he looked at you made your chest ache, and honestly all you wanted to do was to make things not be weird. 

“Hey, do you think you could-” 

“Bradley, I’m sorry I made things weird or like- awkward between us.” 

He pauses from where he’s fiddling with he stove, eyes going wide. “What?”

You sigh, gaze dropping down to the knife sitting on the cutting board. “I’m sorry if my- my stupid pillow wall made things weird between us.” 

He shrugs, turning back to the stove. “We’re good.” 

“We’re not good. You haven’t called me Sunshine since before our walk back to the cabin yesterday after the failed hike and I don’t know- it feels a little strange.” 

He huffs out a breath, keeping his back turned to you. “Fine, Sunshine, there we go, easy fix. Can you please get the sour cream and cheese from the fridge?” 

You comply, setting the food on the counter before you walk over to him, standing next to him in front of the tiny stove space. “Bradley-” 

He sighs, keeping his eyes trained firmly on the cooking chicken and veggies. “Sunshine, I just- The last thing I ever want to do is make you feel uncomfortable. I know it’s not any of my business, but I know Noah wasn’t-” He pauses, jabbing at the mixture in the pan. “I know Noah wasn’t good to you and the last thing I want to do to is put you in a position to feel like you have to put up with a man who makes you uncomfortable for the sake of your friends, like you did with him.” 

Despite yourself, you let out a little laugh. “Bradley, what?” 

“It’s not funny.” 

“I mean, it is, honestly. It’s laughable because you and Noah aren’t even in the same stratosphere of human beings-” He shoots you a look, cutting off the laughter bubbling out of you. “Oh, Bradley, c’mon I’m serious. You’re actually a good person, not like him who was just born as an asshole.”

“Sunshine, I’m serious.” 

You feel like you forget how to breathe with the way he’s looking at you, suddenly ignoring the cooking food. 

“Okay, I-” You pause, trying to take a deep breath. “Bradley, I didn’t keep him around because of my friends.”

“Yeah? Not even after he dumped you and broke your heart?” He asks, frowning.

You bite your lip, looking down to the browning veggies. “I- Yeah, okay I did. But I- if you made me uncomfortable, especially like he did, I never would’ve agreed to come on this trip, much less share a bed with you.”

He turns the stove off wordlessly, pulling the food as he sets it to the side before turning to look you in the eye. “You promise?” 

You sigh, stepping forward to rest your hands on his biceps. “I promise.” 

-

You can hear the laughter echo from the cabin, all the way by the French doors as you slip out, Madison offering you a thumbs up and Bailey and Tommy giving you all-knowing grins. 

You roll your eyes, pulling your jacket around you tighter as you lightly pad down the steps and across the grass to the fire pit where Eli and Bradley sit. You can hear the low mutter of their conversation as you approach, almost making you second-guess yourself. 

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” 

Both boys turn in their chairs to face you. Eli offers you a small smile, shaking his head. “Not at all Sunshine.” His voice is teasing, the nickname sounding strange coming from someone who wasn’t Bradley. “I was just headed back inside.” 

You nod, taking Eli’s place next to Bradley as he passes by you, walking back towards the cabin. Bradley doesn’t say anything, just kicks his feet up to sit on the edge of the fire pit. The only sounds come from the birds above and the crackling of the fire in front of you. 

“You know what I like about us?” 

You hum, eyes still watching the flames dance in front of you. 

“I like that no matter what, we can always sit in silence together and it not weird or awkward, it’s just comfortable. I can just be.” 

You lift your head to smile at him. There’s another pause as he opens another beer from the cooler by his feet. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

He nods, taking a sip of his drink. “Anything, Sunshine.” 

“Why are you so fond of Eli?” 

He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head at the question, and lets out a little chuckle, almost nervous. “I’m gonna tell you a story, Sunshine, and it’s not one that I tell very many people.” 

You nod, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m listening.” 

You almost think he whispers “I know.” under his breath before he sighs, shifting to rest his arms on his knees. “When I came to UVA, I was in a pretty dark place. I’d just-” He cuts himself off, mouth beginning to frown. “I’d just been dealing with a lot of family issues and personal stuff. Which is vague, I know. Um- to save you the pain of listening to my issues, I can sum it up with the fact that my Mom had just died, just before my senior year. I was alone and on my own and I knew it. But uhm- there was that kid on the first day of Spanish 1, my partner for the icebreakers. And I didn’t want to share or really even talk to this kid, but there was just- No matter how upset I was, he just- man Sunshine he just kept making me laugh.” 

He pauses as he takes a sip of his beer. “Those are the best kinds of friendships.” You whisper. 

He nods. “They are. They’re my favorite kind. But-” He says, tilting his head again in acknowledgement of his words. “I get that he’s not like that with everyone. We gelled from the very beginning and I’ve never thought twice about him. His family has welcomed me into their home and their vacations, into their lives and love. He’s always had my back, no questions asked. But he’s a dick to a lot of people and I do know that.” He takes a deep breath, shifting on his chair. “He’s a dick to you, and I know that.”

You shift on your chair, suddenly uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going. “I didn’t mean to make this about how he treats me-”

Bradley shakes his head, cutting you off. “It’s not a justification but- Eli’s family, they come from old money. And I mean like, old money. And the way he was raised- the sheer competition to be better, always better, it bleeds into who he is as an adult. He likes people who can challenge him—I think it’s why he keeps going back to Bailey despite all the bickering—but I think in all the worst ways possible, you remind him of his sister. Younger and yet somehow always better. Always destined for more.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, watching him lean back in his chair. “He’s a good person at his core. He knows when people are in need and he does his best to help them. But—and again, this isn’t to excuse or justify it—it doesn’t change the fact that you’re brilliant Sunshine. You have the whole world at your feet and we all know it. And for whatever Eli ends up doing, he knows that you will do more.”

-

You rub your lips together as you snap the lid on the chapstick shut. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror, your UVA sweatshirt pulled on with a pair of old sweats before flicking the light off. 

You move to open the door, to head back downstairs and outside to join all your friends at the fire pit , when you hear the door down the hall open, the sound of Eli and Bradley arguing following it. 

“-Bradshaw, all I’m saying is that, if you were to have feelings for her, I think you should go for it.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, stepping closer to the door. You felt a bit bad, eavesdropping on their conversation, but the thought Bradley might have a crush on some girl made your stomach churn in the worst ways. 

He wasn’t yours to lose and yet- 

Your train of thought is cut off by the sound of Bradley groaning, his footsteps stopping at the top of the stairs. “Where the fuck is this even coming from, Eli?” 

Eli’s footsteps stop and you hear him sigh. “She’s really good for you Bradley.”

“Okay?” 

“I just think you’d be better off admitting that you have feelings for your Sunshine. Even just to yourself.” 

Your entire body freezes. 

“I don’t like her like that!” Bradley exclaims and you swear your heart stops beating for a minute. 

Distantly, you realize they must think you’re outside with the group, or they’d never be having this conversation with you near. 

“You’re fucking impossible Bradley, you know that? Sunshine is halfway in love with you and you won’t even entertain the possibility of it?” 

“Entertain it? I don’t like her like that. She’s my friend.”

Eli snorts. “Sure, keep fucking tell yourself that Bradshaw. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” 

The words trigger a memory, words Bailey had said to you at the very beginning of the trip. 

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. 

Horror and embarrassment floods over you as you realize they had set you up. They’d taken your crush on Bradley and had set you up.

The whole trip had been a set up. 

“It’s not denial. I honestly don’t even know if I’d classify her as my friend. I’d say she’s probably more Tommy’s friend than anything.” He says the words so casually, yet you’d been around him long enough to recognize the defensive tone hidden in his words. 

Still, it makes your entire body go cold as you realized you’d been right all along. 

Eli sighs, and then there’s a long pause between them as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, tears pricking at your eyes. 

“Whatever Bradshaw, it’ll be your loss when she’s the one who got away.” 

Bradley splutters but he follows Eli’s footsteps down the stairs. 

You strain your ears for the sound of the French door shutting before you let yourself breath, mind whirring at what had just happened. 

Part of you desperately wants you to believe that this hadn’t been a set-up, something done to embarrass you. That your friends wanted you here, not what they thought you could be for Bradley. 

Part of you wonders if it had all been a joke, a gotcha moment while they laugh at your humiliation. 

You become more horrified as you play the trip back in your head, realizing it wasn’t that Bradley hadn’t wanted to make you uncomfortable.

He didn’t want you to get the wrong idea. 

You begin to feel empty as the words play on repeat in your head, realizing that without a doubt, no matter what you felt for him, Bradley Bradshaw felt nothing for you. 

-

You hear the door to the bedroom open some hours later as you squeeze your eyes shut, clutching the comforter around you tighter as if it can protect you. 

After overhearing Eli and Bradley’s conversation, you had gone back to your room, slipping under the covers as you suppressed your tears. You hadn’t want them to come back into the house and find you in the state you were in. 

Eventually, the emotion had left you, just leaving you emotionally exhausted while unable to sleep. 

“Sunshine?” Comes the whispered voice of Bradley as light floods the room. “You awake?” 

You measure your breathing and he must buy it, because he shuts the door, slipping into the bed next to you, smelling distantly of campfire. 

You resist a shudder, almost instinctively wanting to lean into the smell and roll over and cuddle him. Let him pull you close like he did that first morning. Let him run his fingers through your hair and tell your everything will be okay. 

It’s quiet in the room as you beg sleep to come to you, yet it is painfully out of your reach. Your brain won’t stop replaying the words from earlier, how Bradley had said we’re just friends, but really if anything, she’s Tommy’s friend.

You hear the sheets move as Bradley shifts, rolling from his side to his back. The movement pulls you from your thoughts, forcing you to steady your breath, as you will yourself to be still. “Are you awake?” His voice is barely a whisper, not wanting to wake you if you’re asleep.You can’t be sure, but you almost think you hear his head move to face your back. You bite your lip, wanting to ignore him, but it’s his soft “Sunshine?” that makes your resolve crumble. 

“Yeah.” You finally whisper back. 

“You wanna go look at the stars?” He asks in the same quiet tone. You finally turn, almost rolling over on to his hand that’s splayed out on the sheets. He is looking at you, you note. 

“Yeah.”

You aren’t sure what you’re doing, knowing what was said that night, but there’s some part of you that’s aching to be closer to him. To reassure yourself that you were still friends and maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance. 

And that was the part that was winning out. 

“Grab a jacket.” He whispers as you slip your shoes on. You slip the jacket around your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold you know you’ll be stepping out into. You are both quiet walking down the stairs, catching sight of the lights on under both sets of doors. He gently opens the door, holding it open for you. “After you.”

You snort, stepping out into the chilly air of the night. “And they say chivalry is dead.” 

“You wanna go for a walk by the lake?” He asks, shutting the door behind you. 

“Yeah, sure, why not.” 

The night is quiet, the stars twinkling overhead as the two of you walk. 

“Orion was my favorite constellation growing up, probably because it was the only one I could recognize.”

You’re not sure why you’re sharing the information with him, knowing you originally told yourself you’d keep your distance from him. 

He smiles at you. “It was one of the first ones I learned in Boy Scouts.”

“You seem the Boy Scouts type.” 

He snorts. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” 

You shrug one of your shoulders. “It’s just a neutral thing, I think.” 

He nods. “Hey, thanks for coming with us on the trip. It was fun to have you around.” 

You swallow at the words, wanting to tell him he was a liar and he knew it. 

Instead you shrug again. “You know me, just happy to be invited.” 

“I think it’s good for me to be surrounded by good people you know? Especially before I leave in a few months.” 

You hum, not trusting your voice. 

Good people. He meant Tommy. Tommy and Madison. Tommy and Madison and Bailey. Tommy and Madison and Bailey and yes, even Eli. 

You wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking he meant you. 

“Can I admit something?” he says, voice suddenly small. It catches your attention, causing you to look up at him. 

“Of course.” You whisper, stopping to watch him. 

“Is it weird to admit that I’m scared?” He asks, voice a little breathless. 

“Scared... of me?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“No. No!″ He almost shouts, holding his hands out. “God no, never of you. I’m- It’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“It won’t.” You say firmly. 

“I’m terrified of my future. I- I know I was the one who choose it but- what if I’m not good enough? What if-” He ducks his head, sucking in a breath. “What if this is it? What if this is the best I’m ever gonna get?” 

The wind feels knocked from your chest as you stumble forward, reaching out for him. “Bradley.” You whisper, taking his hand. “Bradley, no.” 

His shrugs, eyes watering. “I’m just scared.” 

You offer him a sad smile squeezing his hand. “I think- I think it’s okay to be scared. You’re doing something scary! Going after your dreams is the most terrifying thing in the world, but if you didn’t, if you never knew, you’d always wonder what if.” 

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, not meeting your eye. “Thanks Sunshine.” 

“Bradley, you deserve the whole world. You are going to accomplish so much and the rest of us are just lucky to know you and your greatness. We’re all better for knowing you.” 

He lets out a choked chuckle, pulling you into a hug before you can even protest. His grip is tight around you and you hesitantly reach up, wrapping your arms around his larger frame. 

You frown into his jacket as you stand there, knowing in your heart that no matter how Bradley Bradshaw feels about you, you will always love him.