#bookkbaby

[destieltaggedfic]

Soul/Profound Bond - Part 11

Occursus – PallasPerilous   Ao3

Set Post S15.  Reunited in heaven, Dean asks if he can finally see Cas’ true form and offers to show Cas his soul in return, only to find out that Cas has always been able to see it because of the bond that formed between then in hell.

Word Count: 4k                                 No Sex

Under My Skin (Deep In) – BexTra   Ao3

Set S5.  Witches looking for angel grace kidnap Dean who apparently has some stuck to his soul from where Cas rescued him.  Cas isn’t happy that the witches are trying to take what is his.

Word Count: 6k                                 Graphic Sexual Acts

Fusion - ami_ven   Ao3

Set S14.  Cas told them about his deal and so the Winchesters are researching how to break it.  Maybe if he can be given a piece of human soul it will work.

Word Count: 1k                                 No Sex

Take Your Human Charge To Work Day – FallenAngelOfThursday   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe.  For the past few weeks things have been tense between Dean and Cas, but Dean doesn’t understand why.  Frustrated when Cas tries to leave, Dean tells Cas to take him along on his hunt. They end up in LA in the hunt for a cursed pendant.  Cas meanwhile knows exactly why things are tense and knows why Dean doesn’t remember.

Word Count: 34k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Bond – Bookkbaby   Ao3

Nonspecific Timeframe.  Instead of fighting against the unnatural intrusion, Cas is overwhelmed when Dean’s soul welcomes his grace and is unable to stop them melding together to form a bond. 

Word Count: 4k                                 No Sex 

[profoundbondfanfic]

ARO/ACE/DEMI WEEK MASTERLIST

Now that our aro/ace/demi week is finished, we've created a masterlist of all the posts so it's easier to navigate. In total, we shared 8 posts with 55 fics, including several fics we haven't reviewed on the blog before. You can check them all out here:

[Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

But, dear mods, you might say, what if I'm specifically looking for an Aro!Dean fic? Do I have to go through all eight parts?

In that case, you can read below the cut of this post to find all the fics sorted by tags (without summaries, unfortunately).

Next week we'll be going back to our regular schedule with daily reviews. Our mods, @casblackfeathers @casloveshisfreckles @dothwrites @kitmistry @peanutbutterjelly-pie @valandrawrites and @wednesdayadddms, hope you enjoyed this special event and hopefully found a new favorite fic.

**Please note that due to the size of this list and Tumblr's link limitations, we were unable to include links to the authors on this post. All links are on the original posts we shared over the past several days, and for this list, every fic has both the name of its author and which part it was included in. We're very sorry to have to do this, but the list would be too big for a single post otherwise.**

Ace!Castiel

Inside Jokes by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 5,9K] [Part 1]

He’s a Little Bit Country by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 8,5K] [Part 1]

How to Ignore Your Soulmark and Be Happy by broken_ankle [Teen, 4K] [Part 1]

everyone for someone by sharkfish [Teen, 1,4K] [Part 2]

Enough by Bookkbaby [Teen, 1,3K] [Part 2] Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi [Teen, 1,8K] [Part 2]

spinning verse by sharkfish [Mature, 5K] [Part3]

like january by sharkfish [Explicit, 8K] [Part 3]

Aces by Flatcoke [Teen, 32K] [Part 3]

Like An Old Fashioned Song by MayQueen517 [General 2K] [Part 3]

Dear Virgo by K_K_TiBal [General, 9,9K] [Part 4]

honeysuckle by sharkfish [Teen, 3,9K] [Part 4]

Lover by casbean [Explicit, 27K] [Part 5]

Wants and Needs by Castielslostwings [Mature, 6,4K] [Part 5]

Kindred Spirits by Liron [General, 887] [Part 6]

Aesthetics verse by bloodandcream [Explicit, 12,4K] [Part 6]

hold me (just for tonight) by kitmistry [Teen, 1,5K] [Part 7]

Moonflower by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 18K] [Part 7]

space(dust) & fine metals by quillquiver [Explicit, 5K] [Part 8]

Typecast by mnwood [Explicit, 74K] [Part 8]

Unbroken by SailorChibi [Teen, 3K] [Part 8]

Ace!Dean

reckless, not reason by sharkfish [Teen, 6K] [Part 2]

A Soliloquy for Two by Inferification [Mature, 9,8K] [Part 6]

Kindred Spirits by Liron [General, 887] [Part 6]

Love's Touch verse by angelofthequeers [Teen, 4K] [Part 6]

rejoining by sharkfish [Mature, 8,6K] [Part 8]

Aro!Castiel

How to Ignore Your Soulmark and Be Happy by broken_ankle [Teen, 4K] [Part 1]

Smells Like Love by shiphitsthefan [Teen, 1,5K] [Part 4]

Love's Touch verse by angelofthequeers [Teen, 4K] [Part 6]

As The Clock Ticks by bideanie [General, 2,3K] [Part 6]

We're the New Romantics by almaasi [Teen, 8K] [Part 7]

First and Only by almaasi [Explicit, 35K] [Part 7]

Unbroken by SailorChibi [Teen, 3K] [Part 8]

Aro!Dean

Staccato by mnwood [General, 6K] [Part 1]

How to Ignore Your Soulmark and Be Happy by broken_ankle [Teen, 4K] [Part 1]

Fucking Hollywood by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 1,8K] [Part 2]

Like An Old Fashioned Song by MayQueen517 [General 2K] [Part 3]

Decompression Therapy by TheAuthorGod [Explicit, 6K] [Part 4]

Never Trust a Skinny Baker by mnwood [General, 11K] [Part 4]

Ace=/=Aro by Unforth [Mature, <1K] [Part 4]

Smells Like Love by shiphitsthefan [Teen, 1,5K] [Part 4]

The Truth (And Dry Kisses and Unbeating Hearts) by broken_ankle [Teen, 15,7K] [Part 5]

Partnered by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 28K] [Part 5]

Wants and Needs by Castielslostwings [Mature, 6,4K] [Part 5]

Easy by mnwood [General, 911] [Part 7]

Coming to Terms by Unforth [Explicit, 169K] [Part 7]

Aesthetics verse by bloodandcream [Explicit, 12,4K] [Part 6]

As The Clock Ticks by bideanie [General, 2,3K] [Part 6]

Typecast by mnwood [Explicit, 74K] [Part 8]

Unbroken by SailorChibi [Teen, 3K] [Part 8]

Demi!Castiel

When the Magnolias Bloom by Flurry_X [Explicit, 129K] [Part 1]

Let's Stay Together by Castielslostwings [Explicit, 12,5K] [Part 1]

Obey His Word by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 33,8K] [Part 2]

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi [Teen, 1,8K] [Part 2]

For Science by shiphitsthefan [Explicit, 6K] [Part 3]

Intangible by tiamatv [Explicit, 13,9K] [Part 3]

Grooming Instincts by jemariel [Explicit, 26K] [Part 3]

Halflings by Unforth [Explicit, 103K] [Part 4]

Sparks by vipjuly [Explicit, 21K] [Part 4]

Triquetra by Ltleflrt [Explicit, 46K] [Part 5]

Partnered by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 28K] [Part 5]

Wants and Needs by Castielslostwings [Mature, 6,4K] [Part 5]

Just Your Heart, In Exchange For Mine by noxsoulmate [Mature, 46K] [Part 6]

Loose Lips & Bucket Lists by NikkiSage [Teen, 114K] [Part 6]

a human heart by sharkfish [Mature, 3,2K] [Part 6]

First and Only by almaasi [Explicit, 35K] [Part 7]

First and Only by almaasi [Explicit, 35K] [Part 7]

The Graveyard Shift by PurgatoryJar & riseofthefallenone [Explicit, 620K] [Part 7]

Checked Out by whelvenwings [General, 27K] [Part 8]

As You Walk On By by MercyBraavos [Explicit, 23K] [Part 8]

Demi!Dean

honeysuckle by sharkfish [Teen, 3,9K] [Part 4]

Sparks by vipjuly [Explicit, 21K] [Part 4]

Still Falling For You by Casloveshisfreckles [Mature, 35K] [Part 5]

Plain and Tall by destielpasta & mtothedestiel [Explicit, 69K] [Part 8]

[mixtapebookclub]

Episode 39, Demon Dean, is now available! Come join @malmuses and @ellen-of-oz as they chat with guest author @rupertgayes about fics where Dean is going through his little demon phase. (Regretfully little, in some people's opinion!)

Direct website link to the episode.

The main fics we discuss in this episode are:

where everybody knows by @rupertgayes help i've fallen and i can't find my grace by @jadstiel Where There is Love by @bookkbaby Fata morgana by @robotmango

You can listen to the Mixtape Book Club podcast on our website, http://mixtapebookclub.com, or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Podbean, and most other popular podcasting apps.

Enjoy!

Do you love Supernatural? Are you a fan of Dean and Castiel, and their relationship? Do you enjoy reading Destiel fanfiction? This is the podcast for you!

You can find our Mixtape Book Club Ao3 collection here, containing the stories we’ve discussed on the podcast so far.

A warning: adult themes and swear words are mentioned in this podcast.

MBC is a positive fandom space. You will not find negative reviews, fandom trashing, or negativity beyond some good-natured mocking of the show itself here; we only feature fic that we like. Please keep that in mind when reaching out to us or interacting in our social media spaces.

[theraincanttouchus]

Got tagged by @oddishblossom thank you so much <3 🥰

9 People You Want To Get To Know Better

Last song you listened to: Tolerate it by Taylor Swift. I used to be a veeery casual listener but I loved Midnights and I've been really liking her music, lately. Also I love Hell's coming with me by Poor man's poison. I love songs that tell a story.

Currently watching: I'm starting Ginny and Georgia, just on the second chapter but I like Georgia.

Currently reading: Right there with you on the way too much fanfiction. I'm also reading MDZS for the first time, now that I have all the volumes. I have watched the live action, the donghua and read some of the manhua and heard a couple snippets from the audio book but I've putting off reading the novels because I'm still on my SVSSS phase, and I'm still reading all the fics I can find.

Current obsession: MXTX and, more specifically, SVSSS. And what do you mean you have written a fic for SVSSS? How is this the first time I hear about this?????? I need a title or a link please.

Btw, not to toot my own horn, but, if you like reading about LBH's perception of SQH... here's mine... "A God's wrath" (don't feel pressured to it though)

Tagging: @tangledupblue @princesandromeda @bookkbaby @trinityscar @kacchanmybeloved @moonlitserenades

Again, thank you so much for tagging me <3 🙃

[aeternallis]

tag game, from @venagrey! <3<3 thank you, my dear!

last song: Sand by Promise and the Monster (this song was used on one of The Borgias' season 2 trailers, and it reminded me so much of the vibes from KP i.e. crime family, intrigue, etc, that it's basically been on repeat for me the last 3 days, lol)

last movie: Clue (1985)

currently reading: Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross (just started a few days ago, so far pretty interesting! apparently it's enemies to lovers, so we'll see how well that's pulled off, lol)

currently watching: Nothing at the moment! I tend to get into hyper fixation mode relatively quickly, so once I've watched a show (in this case, KinnPorsche) that just really clicks with me, I like to savor it and take my time interacting with the fandom content, as well as the canon story. XD

Idk when the hyper fixation with KP will end, but once it does, I would like to eventually get back on the danmei train, since there's a couple I'd really like to get into~

current obsession: thrift store shopping (even the small purchases do add up, //sobs), Kimchay, looking at old 90s decor, downloading a bunch of new brushes on Clip Studio Assets

Tagging (no pressure though! <3): @nyxelestia @califlair @radishayuan @bookkbaby

[porcupine-girl]

Tag Game

Tagged by @stultiloquentia!

Three ships: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, Dean/Castiel, Jack Zimmermann/Eric Bittle

First ever ship: Brad Taylor/Ted McGriff from Hey Dude

Last song: Hmmm. I have no idea what the last one I actually listened to was (other than my video I just posted), but the one that's been stuck in my head all afternoon/evening is Penny Tai and Liu Yuning's performance of Night After Night on Our Song

Last movie: Everything Everywhere All At Once

Currently reading: Yufa! A Practical Guide to Mandarin Chinese Grammar by Wen-Hua Teng 😅 Also my library hold of the audiobook of Hero of Ages by Brandon Sanderson just came in, so I'll be getting back to finishing that soon.

Currently watching: I made my sister watch Our Song S3 over winter break, is that current enough?

Currently consuming: Water

Currently craving: Sleep

Stultiloquentia tagged five people so I guess I will, too: *promptly forgets every mutual I've ever had* @running-rabbit @ltleflrt @wwx-lwj-ai-ni @bookkbaby @iamwestiec

[virtu4l-archieve]

𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐥)

1. let me do this for you || artichokeflower

2. taking one for the team || artichokeflower

3. never praying away || sillynegan

4. the dummies guide to hand-holding for buddies || minxyone93

5. a couple of first || faithlesshunter

6. and this, your living kiss || opal_bullet

7. satin and sawdust || ltleflrt

8. the dean winchester beat sheet || saltyfeather

9. it’s all very complex || artichokeflower ⭒

10. magic fingers || chiyume ⭒

11. scratchmarks || bookkbaby ⭒

12. against the wall || la_rubinita ⭒

13. spoiler alert: they kiss! || eyes_of_a_tragedy, queerwerewolf, tfw_cas ⭒

14. el olor de amor || notreallyaroad ⭒

15. being led home || someonetoanyone ⭒

16. as cold as ice || balder12 ⭒

17. final fantasy. || orange_crushed ⭒

18. right where you left me || outdean ⭒

19. parking lot confessions || desirae ⭒

20. do it for sciene || robotsnchicks ⭒

21. i thought you only liked me for my cardigan || imyourhoneybee ⭒

22. the man who drank too much (and proposed to an angel) || black_cat_autumn

23. any pacifier will do || questiel (quefish)

24. stand by me || whelvenwings

⭒ indicates i still haven’t reviewed the fic!!

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

I’m sorry it took so long

Destiel fix-it, 3k, rated T, takes place during 15x19

read on ao3

By now, Dean Winchester had the act of getting utterly shitfaced down to a science.

See, if you just guzzled the liquor as hard and fast as you really wanted to, you’d just wind up throwing it all back up; but if you worked your way through a bottle steadily, over about an hour or so, the alcohol soaked all the way in and made you really good and numb. 

So Dean had parked his ass at the table with a full bottle of whiskey in each hand, not really listening to the sounds of Sam herding Jack down the hall to bed. By now, Sam knew better than to try and talk to Dean just after he had - had lost Cas.

Dean’s jaw clenched as he carefully poured a tall old fashioned of the whiskey, bothering only with a glass because it kept him from just putting the bottle to his lips and tipping it back until it was empty. Not even Dean’s iron stomach would accept that, and he was in no position to waste good liquor right now.

His hand shook as he brought the Jack Daniels to his mouth and forced himself not to gulp it down. 

The burn was familiar, if not exactly comforting. Dean didn’t think that anything on earth could comfort him tonight, not when the earth was utterly, terrifyingly empty. And really, Dean knew he should care more about seven billion people getting Thanos-snapped out of their lives, he should be dwelling on the guilt for letting that happen, for not stopping Chuck sooner, how it was all his fault for not being smart enough or fast enough, but -

Tonight, Dean didn’t care about the loss of seven billion humans. If that made him a shitty person, well, what else was new.

Dean’s unoccupied hand slid aimlessly - he told himself it was aimlessly - across the smooth table surface until his fingertips brushed up against the coarse shape of a C.

The carefully blank mask on Dean’s face crumpled, and he closed his eyes.

Every time he lost Cas, Dean thought it would have to hurt less this time, because he’d already done this. He’d grieved Cas over and over. He’d done this exact same routine of drinking the grief into submission over and over; shouldn’t it get at least a little bit easier with practice?

Nah, of course not. Because this time -

Dean’s jaw clenched so hard he thought his teeth might fracture, but he pried it open to throw back the rest of his glass. 

The words, all those words that Cas had said and Dean hadn’t, were tucked into a box in the center of his chest, some of them laid within with the utmost care, some stomped down until the lid would close. Dean had been putting his shit in boxes for decades, it was how he survived, but this - this was no ordinary box, and matter of fact, it really wouldn’t stay tightly shut.

I love you.

The words echoed through Dean’s head again as he reverently traced his fingers across the A.

He wanted to doubt what that meant, question what kind of love an angel might feel, dissect and analyze every word Cas had said until he could rationalize and explain them all away into shapes that could fit inside Dean’s fucked-up head. But twisting and reasoning what Cas had done for him, said to him, into something small enough that Dean could deserve it, would disrespect the sacrifice Cas had made. 

Another glass of whiskey, more steady swallows putting it away. 

For the hundredth time already, Dean wondered what he would have said if he’d just had time to say something. He’d tried, he’d opened his mouth, but the words were like fucking boulders lodged in his throat, impossible to get out. If he could’ve just had a few fucking minutes to think -

The glass smacked down on the table too loudly in the silence.

Silence. Everything had been so silent since Cas said Goodbye, Dean, since he’d looked into the Empty’s oily black jaws with that beatific smile on his face. Cas had died smiling. And Dean wanted to rage, to scream, to tear through the bunker breaking things, because Cas deserved better, he deserved so much fucking better than being happy over the likes of Dean. Cas deserved to be happy because he was loved; loved by someone who could actually say the words without choking.

Dean’s breath was hitching wetly in his throat as he lifted the next dose of alcohol to his lips. He was making good progress on the bottle - maybe drinking it just a little too fast, actually, but these were extenuating fucking circumstances if ever there were any.

There’s happiness in just saying it. Dean thought about that idea, and for one brief, ugly second he envied Cas. The way he’d just… said everything, it had seemed so... easy. Like so much weight had fallen off him through the catharsis of giving the words over to the air. Like it was… freeing.

Dean opened his eyes to watch his fingertip trace the sharp curves of the S, and he thought.

He was just drunk enough that it sounded like a good idea. After all, it worked last time.

The scrape of the chair legs was like a scream in the quiet, but Dean barely noticed. He just let his clumsy limbs slide down onto the floor, folding onto his knees and leaning his forehead on the cool wood of the table’s edge.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispered. “You got your ears on?”

The drink was still in his hand, so he took another swallow. 

“I don’t - fuck, I don’t know if you can hear me in there. Maybe you’re asleep, or maybe you just - can’t, in there, but.” Dean’s throat closed up for a long second, before he was able to unstick his voice with a coarse growl. “You stupid son of a bitch. How could you just -”

No, fuck. He couldn’t - Cas deserved better than that.

Dean’s eyes squeezed shut, and he gave a hard shake of his head. He tossed back the rest of the whiskey, then let the glass go skittering across the floor so he could press both trembling hands flat to his thighs. What… what he would have said, if he’d had the chance.

“You think - you think you haven’t changed me, man? You and Sammy, you’re the only two things I’ve ever had faith in. You pulled me out of hell, you saved me, and - and you never stopped. Every time you come back, it’s like -” 

Dean was gasping with the dizzying rush of honesty, with the cracking of a wall in his chest and the flood of words pouring out from it. Like a plug had been pulled, and now he couldn’t have stopped if he’d tried. 

“You said that good things happen, but - it was you, Cas. You were the good thing that happened to me. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Not - not what you do or - or the wins you get us, but just you. Just you, being here, saves me. I was just -” His hands curled into useless fists. “I was a fuckin’ coward. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I could never get the words out. And then it was always too late.” 

Dean gave a ragged, humorless laugh, and grabbed the bottle for a desperate swig.

“I’m sorry,” Dean groaned, wrecked, “I’m so sorry. I should have said something so long ago. I should have…” Dean shook his head.

“But.” An aching swallow scraped down his throat. “You’ve come back for me so many times, Cas. Just one more time, please. Just give me one more chance to say it back. I won’t waste it this time, I promise. Just.”

Dean’s eyes squeezed shut, spurring a pair of tears to finally slide down his face. “Please, Cas. Come back to me one more time.”

The rest - he couldn’t say the rest to an empty room, and besides, he was crying too hard again to get any more words out. Dean had been right, it was freeing to just say it, to say it, but it was like the freedom of blood running loose from slit wrists. 

Dean slumped to the side, his numb legs sliding out from under him, and you know what, fuck the science of getting drunk. He brought the whiskey bottle to his lips and tipped it all the way back.

***

“Jack!”

He’d almost let the kid walk away, because - because it was fucking weird, alright. The spawn of Satan that Dean and Sam and Cas had raised as their own son was God now, and sure Dean was glad to have somebody with a good heart wearing that title, but - look, it was just weird. He didn’t know what kind of God’s-dad special privileges he had in asking for things.

But he couldn’t just say nothing.

Jack paused, half-turned back, waiting.

Dean swallowed. “Cas,” he said roughly, working to breathe around the terrifying hope in his chest. “Can you bring him back?”

There was a whole universe in the moment that Jack simply stood there, but then the kid just smiled.

Dean opened his mouth to ask “What the fuck does that mean,” but Jack had disappeared in a golden glow before he could get the words out. 

***

As Dean pulled up in front of the bunker, he kept his eyes staring resolutely straight ahead. 

Because he - he could see a smudge of tan in his peripheral vision, and hope was a raw, starving mouth under his breastbone. If he looked and it - it was real, then he’d -

Dean wasn’t sure how long he sat there, motionless, white-knuckling the steering wheel, but eventually Sam cleared his throat. He said something about calling Eileen, then fled the scene as gracefully as someone the size of an elk was capable.

That beige shape moved, came closer, and it was blurry now not just because Dean was refusing to look in that direction, but because his eyes were filling with tears.

Dean looked.

For one long, heartstopping minute, he just looked. Just let himself see Cas standing there in one whole piece, his arms awkwardly hanging by his sides and a dumb, anxious smile on his face as he looked back.

All of Dean’s stillness shattered, and he was scrambling to open the door, to bail out on legs that tried to buckle, stumbling onto his feet and not caring at all what he looked like, how desperate and needy he was. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered except Cas standing there alive and whole in the sunlight.

Dean froze again, both his hands clutching the Impala’s doorframe, because what if Cas hadn’t heard him? What if -

Like he knew, Cas dipped his head in a single nod.

That nod seemed to flip a switch, unlock a deadbolt, and Dean was moving. His feet were crossing the distance between them with quick, forceful strides, and Cas was smiling at him, a big, goofy, gummy smile that had Dean’s heart pounding like a fist on a door. 

It wasn’t destiny or fate or inevitability that brought Dean’s hands up to cradle Cas’s face; it was a choice. It was the first thing Dean Winchester ever got to do with the knowledge that he had free will, that what he was doing was real. 

The second thing he did was cover Cas’s mouth with his own.

As first kisses went, it was maybe a little too frantic, clumsy, like they weren’t sure if they were trying to make out or eat each other alive, and they were both kind of crying. Dean was clawing at Cas’s trenchcoat and Cas was trying to say “Dean” but he wouldn’t give up enough room for it to happen. Their teeth bumped together and their rhythm didn’t quite match, but -

But none of that mattered, because now they had the chance to figure it out. There was nothing biting at their heels, threatening to tear them apart at any second, so they could take as long as they needed to get it exactly right. This wasn’t the only, it was just the first.

And besides, it was still the best kiss of Dean’s life.

One hand wrapped around the back of Cas’s neck, Dean just - just kissed him for one infinite moment, eyes screwed shut and lips molded to the soft warmth of Cas’s mouth. He wanted to say everything with touch, a language he spoke so much more fluently than anything verbal, but that - no, he’d begged for one more chance, and he couldn’t chicken out this time. Not when he knew that Cas actually wanted to hear it.

Dean pulled back, finally, and - fuck, right, he kind of needed to breathe. They were both panting, staring at each other openly, holding on so tight there wasn’t a speck of air between their bodies and wouldn’t be anytime soon.

Looking at Cas’s face, so close and real and fucking beautiful… suddenly, it was easy.

“I love you too,” Dean breathed out, the same time as Cas said, “I’m human.”

“What?” they both said.

Dean blinked, and watched Cas’s throat work with a swallow. “You’re…?”

“Human,” Cas said again, though his voice was rougher this time. “I - I asked Jack to do it. I thought, maybe…”

The hope in Cas’s eyes was enough to break Dean’s heart all over again.

“You’re such a dumbass,” Dean rasped, “for ever thinking you can’t have me.”

Cas laughed, he smiled brighter than Dean had ever seen before, and if there were tears on his face, well, it wasn’t like Dean’s eyes were dry either. He looked so happy, and Dean still couldn’t believe that happiness was because of him, but he was done pushing Cas away. He was done being silent.

Smiling, oh hell, he was smiling so wide and he couldn’t stop, Dean dropped his head forward until their brows leaned together in peace.

If he could make Cas happy, then maybe Dean could let himself be happy too.

***

Dean’s alarm woke him up at the usual time, and he groaned but didn’t bother hitting the snooze before dragging himself up. It wasn’t like he was getting up at six or anything, it was only nine, but lately Dean’s body seemed to be trying to make up for a few decades’ worth of sleep deprivation. 

The dead guy robe was waiting, thrown over the back of a nearby chair, and Dean slipped it on while sticking his feet into his fluffy slippers. Sam had called him creepy for taking the robe with him when they moved out of the bunker, told him to just buy something new, but Dean liked it, okay. And Dean was trying to get used to having things he liked.

He had bought some new things for the house, though, like the coffee maker that could be programmed to turn itself on and have the coffee already waiting when you woke up. It was awesome. 

Dean still liked to make breakfast the old-fashioned way, usually, but he always went and got the coffee first thing. Shuffling to the kitchen before he was even really awake, pouring the coffee, and shuffling back to the bedroom was how Dean’s days started now.

And like he did every morning, Dean set the coffee on the nightstand and then carefully sank onto the edge of the bed.

He liked to just sit here and watch for a minute. Turnabout was fair play and all that, yeah?

Cas’s face was buried in his pillow, the blanket drawn up so high that only a tuft of dark hair was visible, but Dean was kind of crazy about seeing that unruly mess of hair in his bed every morning. 

Their bed. Dean was also still getting used to believing that Cas was staying here, really staying here, that Cas’s name was on the paperwork for their home and the Roadhouse right next to Dean’s. Not that it was his real name, because the Kansas municipal government didn’t accept paperwork written in Enochian, but hell, Dean thought that Cas Winchester was just as good. Probably better.

Sure enough, like clockwork, the lump under the covers stirred and grunted an inquisitive noise after about thirty seconds of coffee perfuming the air. Dean smiled as a squinty face peered over the edge of the blanket.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Dean murmured, reaching up to run his fingers through that riotous bedhead now that he wouldn’t get snapped at for it. His other hand grabbed Cas’s coffee mug and brought it within easy reach. Cas had decided he like mornings even less his second time around as human.

The former angel made a sound that could have, conceivably, been Morning as he sat up on one elbow and eagerly accepted the coffee with a loud slurp. Dean smiled wider, laughed softly, and leaned in to press his lips into that tousled mess of hair. 

Yeah, Dean was whipped, he acted like a mortifyingly smitten fool a solid eighty percent of the time, but it was like the sleep deprivation thing. He had years to make up for.

Dean made sure, now, that it was the last thing Cas heard before he went to sleep and the first thing he heard when he woke up. Made sure that he said it, for his own sake, over and over again, hoping that one day it might start to feel like enough times, wondering if it would ever stop feeling like the first time. 

“I love you too.”

[thetiredstuff]

Hello! I saw your post about 15.18 and you said something about /knowing/ Cas comes back in ep20? I could really use the hope right now, so can I ask why you're so sure? (I was devastated yesterday because a lot of the things MIsha said kinda sounded like yes, this was it, that was actually Cas's last scene, even in the private one-on-ones.)

Hi!! I don’t have definitive proof but overall the consensus in the meta circles (I am not a meta writer to be clear) and just the Tumblr corner I am in is pretty clear that Misha will be in Cas. It’s the small things (yet this is turning out to be fucking long so buckle up):

Finale: Misha apparently said he was in the finale (however I don’t remember this)  

Contract: Misha said during a meet & greet all the way in the beginning of season 15 that he signed on for 15 episodes. Right now as of episode 18, he has only been in 14, so there should be one more.   

Another reason: the bury your gays trope. Bury your gays is such an overused and insulting trope and it is extremely, extremely fucking lazy. It’s awful. It is a well-known trope within fandoms, so it has to be extremely well-known within the small-knit writers' units in Hollywood. Don’t get me wrong, there are enough who still go for it. But I doubt Bobo would ever write an episode with that trope because at the end of the day it overshadows a character’s entire arc. If you go with the bury your gays trope, you sully the entire story that character has gone through and you eventually overshadow their coming out. Since Dabb took over, the queer subtext within Supernatural definitely was kicked up a notch due to the writers he surrounded himself with. A while back, a fan gifted Dabb a book about Destiel and he apparently kept that book because when a writers��� assistant came in as a new hire, she posted a picture of that book with the caption along the lines of “required reading”. Point is: They’ve taken Destiel extremely seriously. They've fought for years to get the queer subtext through and to get it as outspoken as it was in this season. Because this season’s plotline A is allllll about Dean and Cas’ relationship. You don’t go through that entire fight, only to end up with bury your gays overshadowing all your efforts. Another important thing to remember is that Misha had his online panel yesterday. He asked a fan what the response to the episode was and, in particular, was concerned about the bury your gays trope. He is an outspoken ally of the LGBTQ+ community, I doubt he’d be happy to contribute to such lazy and awful writing that hurts the LGBTQ+ community. It also sounded like both Jensen and Misha had more of a say in Cas’ love confession than you’d expect. Misha even said that he was concerned that if Jensen was against it, they wouldn’t go through with it. That’s a lot of leeway for two actors who should normally just act out what’s being written. I doubt Misha would go for it, if this was Cas’ entire end. For instance, The Magicians season 4 (I think) went all bury your gays and the backlash was huge. I don’t watch it but from what I gathered even the actor who played the buried gay character spoke out against the plotline.  

Just ending: Honestly, the way we know how Bobo and Dabb have run Supernatural the past few years. They are very much about recognizing the hero and going against all odds. They’ve poked fun at Game of Thrones’ finale (I don’t know if you’ve seen it but it was a fucking sad and depressive shit show and mostly awful for the majority of its characters). Bobo has even said on Twitter that GOT is totally different than SPN. They believe in a fit-for-a-hero and deserving ending. It won’t necessarily be the happy ending we want but it’ll be a fit and deserving ending. I’m sure of that. In order for it to be deserving and fit, Cas needs to be alive.  

Dean: Even if we didn’t have all that, just look at Dean as a character. In season 13, when Cas was killed, Dean was shown grieving as a widower and even killed himself, he was perfectly fine dying. He gave up because Cas was dead.  You could say that he lost a lot of people then which is true but Sam saw the major shift in Dean when Cas came back: “It’s good to see you smile.” And Dean said it himself “Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That’s a pretty damn big win.”  We then had 15x09, which Bobo our Destiel king wrote and really hammered it home. In that episode, we saw Dean losing Cas again (momentarily) in Purgatory. The thought of losing Cas again made him fall down on his knees and pray to Cas not even knowing if he could hear it, while simultaneously tearing up. But more significantly, in that same episode, Chuck is torturing Sam and showing him the future. In one of those flash-forwards, we see Dean trying to plead with Sam to just give up, that hunting monsters is an uphill battle. He shouts at Sam over the fact that he had to bury Cas in the Ma’lak Box. That episode hammered home twice, in the present as well as in the future, that Dean gives up when he loses Cas. Dean loses his will to live when he loses Cas and that results in him killing himself due to giving up.  So that is three times within three seasons that they showed Dean losing Cas and the fallout it had on Dean. Now add episode 18 and that is four times in three seasons that they showed Dean losing Cas. Now that entire mini-essay I just wrote, was all to circle back to my fourth point: They are going for the opposite of the GOT finale. No doom and gloom here. In order to not have a doom and gloom ending, Cas needs to be with Dean. Because if Cas isn’t with Dean, Dean gives up and kills himself doing so. If Dean kills himself, Sam isn’t gonna be happy (obviously), and neither will Jack. So by Dean losing Cas, the entirety of the main leads will be unhappy. That is not the ending Bobo and Dabb are writing.   

Misha: What you’re referring to about Misha’s panel, i completely understand that but and that’s really important to remember, he can’t spoil the following two episodes. What’s one thing that Supernatural is known for (besides being gay). It’s that nobody ever dies. If he would say outright that Cas doesn’t come back, he spoils that we won’t be seeing him anymore. If Cas does come back, he can’t spoil that either. The only thing Misha did was being fucking doom and gloomy. I love him but he needs to wind back the depressive shit.  For over a year, he kept it a secret that Cas was gonna confess his love to Dean, which he knows would be a massive relief to a lot of fans. Instead of spoiling that, Misha gave the most depressive answers for that entire year and honestly brought a loooooot of fans down because it sounded like he was looking at an awful ending. So now he’s again going all doom and gloom but I’m not falling for it.   

Dabb and Bobo both recognize what Misha has done for this show: keeping it on the air for this long (obviously not alone). They wouldn't write him off for the last two episodes.   

Oh one more thing: if you look at Dean and Cas’s arc it’s repeating itself:

Season 12: Cas and Dean are a married couple who bicker, towards the end Cas chooses Jack and Dean is angry, then Cas dies

Season 13: Dean is a widower, Cas comes back, Dean acts like he is the personification of happiness when Cas comes back (he was so cute in “Tombstone”)

Season 14: Gonna be honest it kinda felt like maybe someone higher up said to dial back the outspoken Dean and Cas. End of season 14 (which was after it was known that s15 was gonna be the last), Dean and Cas are having a dispute again. 

Season 15: Further (marital) dispute, Cas dies (again lol), and now what .... They’re recycling what they did in season 12 and part of season 13 to tell Dean and Cas’ relationship in season 15. I can’t blame them, it makes for great storytelling. All of that is to say: Cas needs to come back and do season 15′s “Tombstone”, which will be the finale. However, this time the higher-ups aren’t gonna hold them back. (I hope)

This was long jesus hahaha

[destieltaggedfic]

Angel Mating - Part 5

Oh those angels, with their different customs about taking a significant other

Sister Jo - Piper_Halliwell1979   Ao3

Set S13 AU. When they find an angel/human couple, Dean and Cas discover that other angels believe they are essentially married because of the nature of their profound bond.  They may need to talk it out once they get home.

Word Count: 2k                                 No Sex

Wait For You - casuallyneurotic, HesitateDisintegrate   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe.  To get Dean out of hell, Cas had to claim him as a mate, but has never mentioned it.  When Dean stumbles across Cas with his matted wings out – grooming is something only a mate can do – the truth is going to come out.

Word Count: 11k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

The Cabin - Bookkbaby   Ao3

Set S8.  Over the years for his molts Cas has developed a safe space in a cabin to make his nest, a mating nest built with his feathers and Dean’s clothing.  When Dean is in danger the only place he will be safe is the cabin, but what is going to happen when he finally finds out about the nest?

Word Count: 16k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Building Home - aloha_cowgirl   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe. Dean’s stuff has been disappearing, but it isn’t until a specific object vanishes that he gets really upset.  Sam doesn’t know what he’s talking about so it must be Cas.

Word Count: 1k                                 No Sex  

Grooming Instincts – jemariel   Ao3

Nonspecific timeframe.  Going through what can be best described as a molt, Cas is grumpy and taking it out on everyone.  When Dean offers to help and things get a little out of hand he finds out that what he has been doing is similar to angel courtship.

Word Count: 26k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

[profoundbondfanfic]

Here's more of our favorite aro/ace/demi fics!

Part 2

Fucking Hollywood by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 1,8K, Aro!Dean]

“Okay…” he started, aware that the only way out of this conversation was through. “So I admit, I don’t know a whole lot about,” he gestured vaguely at Sam. “That. But me, personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between romantic and platonic love.” “So like aromanticism.” “No, what?” Dean glanced at Sam who was looking at him weirdly. “I don’t know. But one of the only ways I know how to confirm the difference is with sex.” Or the boys have a discussion about media theory and Dean learns a new word.

reckless, not reason by sharkfish [Teen, 6K, Ace!Dean]

“When I requested a — you know. ‘Companion.’ I was just being selfish,” Dean says. “So fucking selfish that I didn’t even think about what it would be like for you.” “Don’t worry,” Cas says, almost as if from outside himself. “It was either you or someone else. Perhaps someone worse.” “It’s a big deal to my dad for me to get mated. He’s always trying to match me with some asshole or another, and I — I can’t, Cas.” He drops his head into his hands, rubbing furiously at his eyes. “I’m fucked up, I guess, because I just — I can’t be a mate to someone, not for real. I can’t — consummate, or whatever.”

Enough by Bookkbaby [Teen, 1,3K, Ace!Cas]

“If I am… not enough,” Cas starts, voice hushed but quick. “Please, just… just tell me before you find someone else.”

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi [Teen, 1,8K, Ace!Cas]

"We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's… it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure.

Obey His Word by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 33,8K, Demi!Cas]

When Castiel was ten years old, he was cursed to always be obedient. Now he’s a hunter—not the best one at his job, admittedly, since he’s always forced to comply with the monsters that beg for their life. Everything changes on one such hunt, when an angel named Dean saves his life, and tells Castiel that he’s searching for his missing brother, Sam. His naive callousness about humans and give-em-Hell attitude is off-putting, but Dean ends up being exactly what Castiel didn’t know he needed. As he grows closer to Dean, he tries to keep the secret of the curse close to his chest—but the past always has a way of exposing the truth. Curses are hard—but trust is harder.

everyone for someone by sharkfish [Teen, 1,4K, Ace!Cas]

Dean holds Cas, firm but gentle, until Cas pulls away. “How was that?” Dean asks quietly. “Very nice,” Cas says. “It’s been — a very long time, since someone hugged me like that without expectation.” “I hear that a lot,” Dean says, resting his hand on Cas’s knee. “It’s easy to forget how lonely we are.”

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

I don't think I am emotionally prepared to handle it if they do another video like Lockdown. I can't with how MARRIED they are. "Goodnight, angel" I'm screaming

Are we emotionally prepared for another such video? No.

Do we want another such video? YESSSS :D.

[theraincanttouchus]

Username song game!

Tagged by @tangledupblue thank you Sam!!!!! <3 🥰

This is going to be long ':)

T: The Heart of Everything by Within Temptation

H: Hell's coming with me by Poor man's poison

E: El mañana by Gorillaz

R: Responde by Diego Boneta (I found this song like a month ago and oh the nostalgia was so strong I almost died.)

A: Anti-hero by Taylor Swift

I: Inalcanzable by RBD

N: Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance

C: Colour me in gold by JP Cooper

A: Attention by Charlie Puth

N: Niña amada mía by Alejandro Fernández

': 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

T: The funeral by Band of horses

T: Tres regalos by Los Dandys (the amount of songs I wanted to put that started with T is unreal)

O: Ojalá Nicho Hinojosa

U: Under pressure by Queen and David Bowie

C: Circus by Britney Spears

H: Hero by Skillet

U: Unholy by Sam Smith and Kim Petras

S: Skin by Alexz Johnson

Yes, I cheated with the '.

Anyway, I’m tagging @oddishblossom @trinityscar @bookkbaby @kacchanmybeloved

And anyone who wants to do it. Sorry its late and I know in forgeting people 🥲

PS: Sam, you should listen to Colour me in gold, I feel like you'd like it

[tohellandbackanthology]

I just realized I never filled out the confirmation form for my address; is it too late to do so? (Problem is I know I bought one of the anthologies but I can’t find my order number, which is why I think I haven’t filled it out yet, I keep getting stuck on the first question)

While we technically did put out a last call for address confirmations already, Covid-19 restrictions prevented us from beginning the packing process so you can still submit the form, provided you do so ASAP!

Simply email us the full name under which you bought your book, and we can send you your order number/contribution number in order to fill out the rest of your form. 

We begin packing and printing labels this weekend so if anybody else wants to verify their shipping details, please contact us at tohellandbackanthology@gmail.com as soon as you are able! 

[thebloggerbloggerfun]

I have no idea what your DCBB is about but I'm already super excited for you to post

Ahhhh thanks so much!!! That’s so nice!!!!

My current log line for it is: Reverse!verse meets Ella Enchanted

Which is a wild concept that I’m really hoping works 😅