#book hangover in progress

[ijustkindalikebooks]

From Pachinko by Min Jin Lee.

[sweetbans29]

Teach Me: The Tragedy of Conflict (vi) - PB

Pairing: Paige Bueackers x Reader

Previous Part & Next Part

Summary: You and Paige have been best friends for the last 6 years. You trust her completely. And it is because of that trust that you ask her a rather forward question. AKA - You ask Paige to teach you.

Warnings: suggestive, tiny pains, bigger pains

Word Count: 4.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist & Teach Me Masterlist

AN: You knew it was coming soon.

Over the next few weeks, Paige's internal battle continues to grow. If she thought she was struggling before, each growing day continues to add even more thoughts and doubts that she has when it comes to you. But that isn't the only thing growing, her craving for you has exponentially increased since the last lesson.

Paige thinks about how intimate the two of you were at the most inconvenient times. She pictures you lying on her bed, half naked when she is studying. Her mind replays the sounds you made when her lips were on your neck while she was conditioning in practice. She closes her eyes in class and sees your back arching and hears you saying her name over and over again and all she wants is more.

But the last few weeks have been dry. No lessons, no 'practicing' as you would like to call it, just Paige longing for any touch she could get from you. Even those felt scarce.

Paige is studying with Azzi when she feels like she is going to combust.

"I need something, anything. I have been itching for weeks now," Paige says. The same book has been turned to the same page for the entirety of their study session. Azzi on the other hand was making good progress on her paper.

"Paige. I have been telling you for weeks to tell her how you feel. You are the one who has chosen to ignore any and all of my advice." Azzi says.

"It is not that simple - we freaking live together. What if she doesn't feel the same? That is how many years of friendship thrown away?" Paige says in frustration. She is getting heated.

Azzi laughs.

"What could possibly be funny about this?" Paige says pushing Azzi's computer.

"It is that simple. Just tell the girl you love her and I am sure it will all work out." Azzi doesn't know how much more blunt she can be without flat-out saying that you love Paige. Azzi's suspicions were confirmed that night you walked out of the bar with tears rolling down your face.

"F-that, I will not be the one to talk first," Paige says fed up with the conversation she initiated. She begins packing up her things.

"Where are you going? You haven't even started your assignment." Azzi says as she watches her frantic friend.

"I am going home to change and then WE are going out," Paige says.

"Paige, I don't want to go out tonight," she says.

"Come on, drinks on me," Paige says trying to bribe her to come.

"Fine, drinks AND food on you," Azzi says as she saves her paper and starts to get ready.

The two of them go to Paige's favorite local spot and meet up with some other teammates. They are all having a blast - drinking a little (or a lot) more than they should be for a Tuesday night but no one cared. Practice the next day wasn't until the afternoon so they could sleep in and nurse their hangovers all morning.

It is just after midnight when Paige gets a call from you.

"Hey B, where-are you at a bar?" You say when you hear Paige pick up the phone with a lingering 'hello'.

"Indeed I am!" She yells. "You are the smartest," Paige says with a giggle.

"I am coming to get you," you say as you rummage around your room to find something to throw over your PJs.

"Okay, I will sit right here until you get here," Paige says as she sits on the stool of someone else's table. The people give her a questioning look. "Oops, maybe not there," Paige says moving. "I will sit right here until you get here," Paige says as she is sitting one seat over but still at the same table.

"Did you get that? I moved." Paige says making sure you know where she is at. It doesn't matter as none of what she is saying is adding up since you can't see her at all.

"Okay B, don't move," you tell her.

"Imma be a statue," Paige says as she thinks she is staying still as a pole but is actually swaying to the music.

You let out a little laugh, "I'll see you soon."

You hang up and find Paige's location on your Find My app. You head to the bar, parking right out front and leaving your hazards on. Walking in, you immediately regret the decision to throw on just an oversized sweatshirt of Paige's and wish you would have opted for some sweats as well.

As you make your way through the crowd - which is surprising for a Tuesday night, and find Azzi and Evina first.

"Have you guys seen Paige?" You ask looking around.

Evina shakes her head no. Azzi nods her head over to the little stage in the corner as Paige steps up to sing karaoke. You are also now shaking your head as you watch your best friend make a fool of herself. The more you think about it in the seconds before the song starts, you think it is better to have her upset with you rather than videos of her singing karaoke drunk in a bar circulating the internet.

You weave your way to the stage and grab her arm, removing the mic from her hand. She yells your name in excitement until she sees you are taking her away from the spotlight.

"Let's get you home B," you say as try to get her off the stage.

"No, I wanna singggg," Paige whines.

"You can sing in the car, let's go." You pull her off the stage then wrap an arm around her waist to steady her. "Trust me, you will thank me later."

Paige lets you guide her out of the crowd, her arm now around your shoulder as she waves to her other teammates. You just shake your head and laugh as the girls follow the two of you.

Once you get back to your car, three girls pile in the back as you stick Paige in the passenger seat. You drive them back to your apartment building and begin to part ways.

"Thank you for coming to get us," Evina says with a hiccup.

"Always," you say as you wave goodbye to them.

Paige is asleep and you know once drunk Paige is asleep, she is not the easiest to get to do things.

"B, wake up. We need to go inside," you say shaking her arm. She brushes you off and turns the other way.

"B. I want to go to bed, can you please get moving." You beg the girl who makes no movement to move from your car.

Finally, you get tired enough to grab her arm and pull her out of the car. Her eyes only open a little as she now has to hold her own weight Her arms come to wrap around you, hugging you and nestling her head into the crook of your neck.

"Hi B," you say as you rub her back with one hand and close the door with the other, making sure to lock your car in the process.

"Smell like heaven, favorite smell," she says as her breath tickles your neck.

"Thanks B," you chuckle as you try to shift her to one side of you so you can walk the two of you up to your apartment. Her head stays hidden in your neck as she is now sidestepping with you as you lead her home.

Once the two of you are in your apartment you take her to her room.

"No," she says like a little kid.

"B, you are the one who was just about to sleep in my car." You say.

"Want yours," she says with a pout.

You roll your eyes. At this point you let her go and she puts her hand out to steady herself on the wall. You walk away from her and remove her sweatshirt. When you do, your shirt rides up giving Paige the perfect view of your bare back before you pull it down and walk into your room.

Paige instantly follows you into your room and plops down on your bed - her mind tells her she wants you but her body is exhausted.

She rolls over as you come to her. You start by taking her shoes off and placing them on the ground. She then lifts her arms.

"Flip over," you tell her as she rolls back over so she is lying face down on your bed. You pull at the sleeves of her jacket and remove it. She is left in her pants and tank top. Good enough, you tell yourself as you go to turn the light off.

When you finally lay down you feel Paige shift over to you. Her arm comes to hang around your waist.

You sigh.

Paige's head comes to find the crook of your neck again, her lips painfully close to the sweet spot on your neck.

Little to Paige's knowledge, she has been on your mind as much as you have been on hers.

You lean in just enough to have her lips meet your skin and you release the softest moan. Paige's hand grips your waist as she brings you closer to her, lips starting to move on your neck.

You savor her movements as she begins to pepper kisses up towards your lips.

Before her lips meet yours, you snap back into reality and remember she is not in her right mind.

"We shouldn't do this," you whisper. Paige's movements continue - not hearing what you said.

You place your hand on her cheek and bring her face up to yours. She leans in wanting to feel your lips on hers.

"You're drunk, B," you say. "You should go to sleep."

She looks into your eyes with what you believe to be love but tell yourself it is the alcohol.

She holds your gaze then kisses your nose and curls back up into your side.

The next day at practice Paige struggles and Geno is not having any of it. By the end of it, Paige looks like she has taken a beating. Everyone goes into the locker room to shower and head out but Paige stays back to go through more reps.

"B, you need rest." You say as you walk back out to see her working on her midrange jumper.

You know she isn't going to stop until she is content with her shot so you stand there watching her shot.

After about 10 minutes she finally takes a break.

"Adjust your thumb, it is going to lax when you release." You tell her.

She goes up for another shot, making the change you recommended. It goes beautifully into the basket. She shakes her head.

"I still don't know how you do it," she says a smile finally dawning her lips. "And why didn't you say that when Geno was drilling into me, huh?"

You laugh. "Because then you wouldn't learn to not drink in the middle of the week."

She looks at you with disbelief. She throws the ball at you and you catch it, dribbling it then shooting it.

Paige watches you in awe.

"Do it again," she says. You shake your head no, not really sure why you put it up in the first place.

"Please," she says as she brings you another ball, stands right in front of you, and places it in your hands. "Please."

You close your eyes and proceed to do a shootaround, Paige feeding you the ball. She watches you, eyes never leaving you. When you are finished you are slightly out of breath. You didn't miss a single one which even you found impressive.

Paige walks over to you.

"That was incredible - why did you ever stop?" She asks, not realizing what she is asking.

You sigh and sit on the ground. Patting the spot next to you. She sits across from you, wanting to see you.

"Before we met, I was set on going to UConn to play ball - there was no doubt in anyone who saw me play. They all knew I was going to play for the best," you say referring to Geno.

Paige bites back the joke she wants to make about how much you are hyping yourself up right now - she doesn't want to jeopardize your comfort in this moment.

"And no, I am not just bragging about myself - you can ask Coach yourself. He came to watch me play when I was in 7th grade, already counting down the days until I made my debut here." You say.

"That all changed when my mom left us on my 13th birthday. I woke up that morning excited for the day only to walk downstairs to see a single piece of luggage and my parents fighting. They kept yelling about me and what was going to be my future. She said she was tired of losing her daughter and that I cared more about basketball than I did about her. It was ironic because it was her and dad that taught me how to play. She was my mother and she believed I didn't love her and chose the sport over her. To be fair, I loved the sport more than I loved a lot of things, but never her. She cursed out my dad for ruining my life, saying things about how he was going to break me and I would never make it under his pressure. She didn't understand the relationship my dad and I have. I destroyed my parent's marriage and was the reason she left." You say and quickly wipe away the tears. Paige has scooted her way to you and has taken hold of one of your hands.

"I watched her walk out that day - what was meant to be the best birthday turned into the worst. I was sitting on the stairs as she walked out. She turned to look at me but didn't say a thing. She had said all she had to say. And she walked out."

"My game changed after that - had me in my head. I quit shortly after that. Quit playing that is, started learning the why behind all of it. Behind every play, every move, as many players as I could. I thought understanding the why behind the game would help me understand why my mom left. It didn't of course, but I was still just a kid you know? I didn't understand it fully - I still don't understand it fully."

"My dad saw me deep dive into learning the game from a different perspective and saw how I was excelling in learning the game faster than I learned how to play it. We both sort of just threw ourselves into it - neither of us knowing how to cope. It is how we connect with one another."

"I have started shooting again - but it still hurts. I don't know if there will ever be a time when I am shooting that I don't think back to that day. It is like a blessing and a curse. I feel free when I have a ball in my hand but am reminded of the cost. It clears my head but also opens old wounds."

Paige sits there and listens to every word you say. Out of the 5+ years of friendship, you have only ever mentioned your mom once. Paige remembers when you told her about your mom in the park but you never mentioned this. She feels tears well up in her own eyes.

Her hands come up to hold your face. You can't look her in the eyes so you just close them. She pulls you in and holds you.

She doesn't say anything - not that she would know what to say. All she knows how to do is hold you.

Once the sun begins to set and the gym begins to darken, the two of you head back home.

The team decided to hit the town that weekend after the game. You tag along, knowing you could use some fun. You stick to your classic while the team does a whole variety of different shots and drinks.

"Take a shot with us!" Evina yells as she orders another round.

"You know she doesn't, she likes her classic," Paige answers for you. You push past her, already feeling the effects of your first drink.

"No, I'll take one," you say, already shooting it back before Paige can stop you. She just watches you in surprise. You grab hers and throw it back.

"Ok, I think someone needs to slow down," Paige says and tries to grab your drink. You just box her out and tell her no.

"Let me have some fun B," you say. "I need a little fun."

Paige puts her hands up and lets you do what you want.

You make your way to the dance floor and start dancing with anyone and everyone. Paige watches you from a distance.

"Go dance with her," Azzi says as she comes up to Paige.

"Nah, she can have her fun," Paige responds and takes another sip.

Paige hates seeing others hands on your body but she isn't going to do anything to stop them. Rather she is going to find her own distraction.

By the early hours of the morning, Azzi can't find Paige anywhere and takes it upon herself to make sure you get home safely. When she takes you to your apartment, she realizes you don't have your key and is forced to take you to hers. You sleep on her couch.

You wake up to a major hangover, wanting nothing more than to be in your own bed. As you make your way out of your friend's apartment and stumble to your own, you come across the same realization that she had last night. You are keyless.

You knock hoping Paige is home. You are about to give up when you hear the ruffling of the lock.

When the door opens you are not met with your best friend, but some girl you believe is on the cheer squad.

You look at her with confusion and walk right past her. Even in your hungover state you know the first rule you and Paige had about the apartment was to not bring anyone back after a night out. All flings were to be done anywhere but there. You are quickly sobered up as you walk into Paige's room expecting to find her asleep in her bed but she is not. You walk back out into the living room - she's not on the couch.

"She's in her room," the girl says as she wraps herself in one of your sweatshirts. She probably thinks it's Paiges. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. She points to your room.

You push the door open slightly to reveal a sleeping Paige, naked in your bed. Clothes scattered throughout the room.

You grab a few of your things, desperately trying not to look at her.

"I don't think she will want you to take her stuff," the girl says as sees you packing some things into a bag.

You ignore her and finish grabbing what you need.

"Hey! I was talking to you!" The girl says loud enough to cause Paige to stir.

"Babe, why are you yelling?" Paige's sleepy voice cuts through the air., as she turns in time to catch her eyes meet yours before walking out.

Paige begins to scramble to her feet, forgetting the fact that she is butt naked, and attempts to go after you but you slam the door and are long gone.

"Paigey, come back to bed," the girl says, already lying in your bed. She's ready for another round.

Paige tunes her out, as all she can think about is how royally she messed up.

Paige is pacing the apartment trying to figure out what happened the night before. She swore she and the cheerleader were heading back to her place. The thing is, Paige doesn't remember being that drunk. She can pretty much remember everything.

Paige sent the girl away after you had left, making sure to get your sweatshirt back from her before she did.

Paige knows she messed up - you guys really only had the one rule and she had broken that. Not only that but she has brought another girl back to your room. What the hell was she thinking?

She tried calling you multiple times but it went straight to voicemail. She then tries calling all of her teammates to see if you went to any of them - only two of them answered.

"Don't worry P, she's probably just sleeping off the hangover from last night - she was super wasted." That was the only real response she got.

Paige decides to go to Azzi's to see if she has seen you. Azzi peaks her head through the door. Once she sees it's Paige, she steps outside and closes the door.

"Azzi - I know she is in there, let me see her," Paige says.

"Paige, I don't think that is the best idea," Azzi's voice is soft.

She tries to go by her but Azzi grabs her arms and looks in her eyes.

"Just give her some time, okay?"

"I don't know what happened," Paige says in defeat.

"I know P, I've got her. Just go get some rest okay?" Azzi says.

You don't go to the apartment for the next few days. You avoid going to any place Paige might be - that includes staying away from the team. The first time you see her is at practice on Tuesday, seeing that you weren't there on Monday.

The team is in the gym and Paige is anxiously waiting to see if you will be there. When you walk in alongside Geno and the other assistant coaches she is relieved but also now extremely nervous.

You don't give her any attention throughout practice. Paige even tries altering her shot to get you to come over to tell her how to fix it but you never do. All she gets is Geno yelling at her to focus or he will make her do suicides.

At the end of practice, you slip out before the girls leave the locker. Little to your knowledge, Paige never went in and was waiting in the parking lot for you.

She calls your name. You hesitate but keep walking. She runs to you and grabs your arm.

"Don't touch me," you say pulling it away.

Paige is taken aback, losing her words.

You look at her waiting for her to say something, anything really. When she doesn't, you speak.

"Okay if you won't talk, I will. I told you the darkest part of me - a part of me that less than a handful of people know. I opened up to you because I love you. I love you, Paige. I thought you felt the same, I thought I saw it in your eyes but then coming home the other day and seeing you brought another girl home. There was a fire that burned within my veins that fizzled out leaving nothing but disappointment. It wasn't that you slept with another girl because that wasn't the issue. The issue was that we have one rule. One rule. Not relating to our lessons but to our home. Our one rule, thrown out the window. See it might have been different if I walked in and you weren't in MY bed. But that is the only thing I can see in my head Paige - what the two of you were doing in my safe space."

Paige wants to say something but nothing comes out.

You sigh. You feel defeated.

"I don't know what to say B, I don't have the energy to fight with you." You look at her for the first time in days - your eyes are tired. "I forgive you. But I need to make myself clear when I say I need space."

Paige wants to argue, tell you how big of a mistake she has made and how much she regrets it. She wants to tell you she loves you and has for years now. She wants to tell you she isn't going to leave you. That the girl meant nothing and all the girls over the years have been a distraction for her - a distraction to get you off her mind. But none of that comes out.

You nod and get in your car and drive away.

Paige watches you leave. She doesn't know what to feel more, the peace of knowing you love her or the pain in knowing you are so much better than she is. She doesn't deserve you - that is the thought that clings to her.

She doesn't deserve you but needs you to survive.

AN: It almost feels worse when forgiveness is given instead of asked for. Let me know what you think. And as always, thank you for all your love and support 💙

[cozage]

The Moss that Grew in Gloom

Chapter 5: A Secret Code

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Masterlist | Read on AO3

Word Count: 1.6k Characters: female reader x Zoro

The next morning, you woke up far later than usual, your head pounding from last night’s wine. You could have laid in bed all day, but a specific knock came from your door: your father’s secret code. 

 “Come in,” you mumbled back, turning your head back into the pillow. 

You heard the door turn and your father’s almost-silent footsteps approach your bed. 

“You certainly chose to sleep in.”

“Tired,” you groaned, still face down on the pillow. 

“Up late last night?” your father asked. “I suppose the book you were reading was entertaining.”

“Captivating.” It was too early for a conversation. You needed breakfast, water, and a good bath before you took on the day. 

“I thought we could train today. Are you up for it?”

You resisted the urge to outwardly cringe at the thought. “Raincheck?” you asked, finally looking up at him from the bed. “Roronoa asked me to help him today.”

He stared at you for a long moment, but finally nodded. “Let me know when you would like to train, then. I’ll be ready.”

You gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Zoro didn’t knock on your door until noon. His green hair was unkempt and disheveled, and his eyes looked tired, but he was awake. 

“Ready to train?” you asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

You rolled your eyes. You had done your best to shake off the hangover, but the lasting effects were still there. Your head still pounded softly and your movements were sluggish, but you were mostly okay. 

You grabbed Nikko and passed by him, heading out of the castle. When you stopped in the courtyard, he looked around as if he was missing something. 

“So, now we need to work on maintaining your levels of haki for long periods of time,” you started. “We’ll have to build up a tolerance and-”

“Why are we here?” Zoro asked, interrupting you. 

“What do you mean?” you asked. “This is where you like to train, isn’t it?”

“Well normally, sure. But-” he glanced back at the castle. “I kind of liked your spot better.”

You chewed on your lip, thinking. It was possible that the baboons would sense your weakness today and be more willing to attack. If that were the case, you wouldn’t get much training done. But if you stayed here, you knew your father would be watching your every move, critiquing how you were training. 

“All right,” you finally said. “Let's go to the ruins.”

The walk to the ruins was tense. Your eyes were constantly darting around, watching for any sudden ambushes the baboons may try to pull on you. It had been a while since one had tried to challenge you, and you knew it was only a matter of time before one became bold enough to try. 

“Seems like that wine really got to you last night,” Zoro quipped. “You’re quiet today.”

“Huh?” It took you a moment to process his words, and you chuckled softly. “It’s been a while since I drank that much.”

“What, can’t handle your alcohol?”

You almost snapped, but when you looked at him, you could see the ghost of a smile on his lips. He was taunting you.

You shoved him lightly, your lips jerking upwards for a moment. “I’ll make you regret those words, Roronoa Zoro.”

His smile grew wicked, and you could see his eyes light up for a moment. “I’d like to see you try.”

You rolled your eyes again and pushed deeper into the jungle, heading for the ruins. As much as you wanted to respond to his words, his gaze had your heart racing and thoughts muddled. 

Thankfully, the ruins were just up ahead. You wouldn’t have to focus on him during your time training. You could just focus on his progress. That would be much easier. 

You sat in silence most of the day, Zoro barely spoke. You offered gentle guidance and little words of encouragement, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. By the time the sun was setting, you could hear him grunting in frustration. 

“Let’s go back. I don’t like to be out after dark.” Your father didn’t either. He would certainly come looking for you if you stayed much longer. 

“I haven’t mastered it yet,” Zoro said, gritting his teeth. 

“You can train tonight,” you offered. “While you eat, while you sleep. Honing that ability and building up your stamina is what’s important.”

“My stamina is perfectly fine!”

You scowled at him. “You’re not used to being critiqued, are you?”

“I know my limit,” he growled, wiping the sweat off his face from a day of concentration and effort. “And I’m not at it yet.”

You were so irritated that you leaned forward and flicked his forehead. “You need to calm down, Roronoa. And maybe consider eating something if you’re going to be so moody. I’m trying to help you here, but if you don’t want it, I have better things to do.”

He grabbed your wrist as you began to pull your hand away, causing you to tense. You could’ve easily gotten out of his grip if you wanted, but you let him keep you there, waiting for whatever he would lash out about next. 

“I told you-” He looked into your eyes. “-it’s Zoro.” 

“Well, Zoro,” you hissed, finally pulling your arm from his grasp. “Stop being an ass and take some constructive criticism.”

He rubbed at his eyes, clearly exhausted. “Will you help me train back at the castle?”

You gave a nod. “As long as you listen to my advice.”

“All right then.” The edginess from his voice seemed to disappear. “Let’s get back before the sun goes down. I’m starving.”

The two of you trudged through the woods and back into the confines of the castle just as the sun dipped behind the ocean. The smell of a delicious meal invaded your nostrils as you stepped through the door, but you could tell something was off. 

The castle felt oddly…empty. Your father never hid his presence from you, but you couldn’t sense him anywhere in the castle. You pushed your observation haki out further, tendrils reaching to find his comforting presence. But there was nothing. Only the negative emotions surrounding Perona up in her room. 

You stopped abruptly, causing Zoro to bump into you. “Something’s wrong,” you whispered softly, your eyes darting around the room. 

“Huh?” Zoro looked around, eyeing the room. “Nothing seems off to me.”

You rolled your eyes, though you knew he couldn’t see you do it. But Zoro seemed unbothered by the silence in the castle, and he pushed past you to find the food that you could both smell. 

“Come on, let’s eat. At least someone left us food. You think it was Mihawk?” he asked, heading for the dining room. 

“Probably. He likes to cook.” You followed him cautiously, scanning the area for anything out of place. 

“How do you all know each other anyway? Surely there's a story there.” Zoro rounded the corner to the dining room and his eyes lit up. “Hey! Looks like there’s a whole feast! That’s great, because I’m starving!”

You followed quickly behind him, your eyes scanning the table. It truly was an immaculate dinner that your father had prepared. Your eyes fell to a piece of paper sitting in front of your usual chair. 

A note. 

Zoro beat you to it, but he squinted his eyes in confusion as his eyes scanned the page. Then he glared at the bottom of the note and mumbled something too soft to hear. 

He handed the note out for you to read. “This doesn’t make any sense. It’s just a bunch of nonsense.” 

Not nonsense; you knew that. You and your father had created your own code of communication, so nobody could ever impersonate you. Only the two of you knew it. If it was ever written in any other language but your created code, it was not to be trusted. 

You snatched the paper out of Zoro’s hands and your eyes ran over the jumbled letters. The words you knew were from your father read:

I have been called away by the World Government. I will return in three days. Do not leave the castle while I am gone. Try not to pamper the guests too much. Enjoy the food, I’m sorry I could not stay to share it with you.

Written in common language at the bottom, it read:

P.S. Roronoa - STAY OUT OF MY WINE. 

You smiled slightly at the words left for Zoro and pocketed the letter. The feast had been intended as his farewell meal. Even though he would only be gone for three days. Your father was always one for the dramatics. 

“Well?” Zoro asked, looking at you expectantly. 

You sat down at your seat. “Mihawk has been called away on World Government business for a few days.”

You weren’t sure why you called him Mihawk. You should’ve just said he was your father. But that hadn’t come up in conversation with Zoro, and you didn’t feel like discussing it now. You would tell him, it just didn’t feel like the right time yet. 

Zoro gave a fiendish smile. “Sounds like tonight would be a great time to raid the wine cellar.”

You frowned slightly at that. “He told you to stay away from the wine.”

Zoro began walking toward the cellar, giving a taunting chuckle. “Do you always listen to what he says?”

You scoffed at his comment, but you found yourself following Zoro down the steps, picking out a red wine that would pair perfectly with the steak waiting for you upstairs. And then you grabbed a few more bottles, just in case you felt like drinking more tonight.  

You had never broken your father’s rules. Not once. Not until the day Roronoa Zoro fell out of the sky.

[amortentia-over-ice]

The Remedy - Garreth Weasley x F!MC

SUMMARY: Garreth knows the exact cure for your hangover. And plot twist: it's not one of his potions.

Warnings: 18+, Characters aged up. Mention of Drinking. Smut. P in V.

Word Count: 2.5k

You stumbled back into the Gryffindor common room, bleary eyed and forcing yourself not to look at your pocket watch. It hardly mattered, however, considering that you could already see the sneaking suspicion of the sunrise as purple streaks colored the sky through the tower window. 

You were still absolutely pissed off of your face, courtesy of the giggle water and fire whisky, so you thought nothing of it as you started stealing pillows off of the common room couches. Giddily, you found a corner of the room and stacking them around each other. You giggled as you looked at your work of art in progress.

YOU were going to make a PILLOW FORT...NOT sleep in your own bed like some regular loser. This (your drunk mind decided) was a far better option. 

Clumsily, you army crawled your way in once every pillow had been added to the massive pile, wrapping your robes around you to serve as a blanket you let out a contented sigh, shoving one last pillow against the hole you crawled through, promptly falling asleep in your cushioned little hovel. 

A few hours later…

“....Did the house elves do that?”

“A little redecorating perhaps...?” 

“Redecorating? Gar. Please.”

Garreth Weasley was hardly listening to Leander prattle on as he thoughtfully regarded the odd pile of pillows in front of him. It was interesting, he noted, that the pillow pile had magically appeared the same morning that Natty had mentioned to him you hadn’t returned to your dorm last night. 

He had already been worried that Sebastian had somehow kept you too late...or worse...that he had somehow snuck you into the Slytherin dorms instead. 

But then...as he heard a faint snore emanate from within the pillows, he gave a slight, but relieved, grin. 

“Right, then.” He sighs as he sits down patiently in front of the pillow fort, conjuring two mugs with steaming hot tea.The smell of peppermint drifts into your cave, your favorite.

You stir with a groan due to your monstrous headache, and the next thing you hear is Gar’s cackle right outside this odd structure you had found yourself in. 

Naturally, you had a very foggy idea of how you ended up in a pillow fort.

You poked your head out to find Gar grinning at you, holding out a mug to you in offering. How could he look so endearingly at you while you were SURE you looked like a pile of hippogriff dung? 

“Er– morning! By the way, I’m going to kill Sebastian for this.” He says in a  light voice entirely too cheerful for your current headache. You smirk at the slightly out of character threat to your mutual friend. Sebastian had been known to get the both of you into similar states more than once in the past. 

You sigh and shake your head, “It’s not totally his fault. I can’t ever resist a dare from that Scottish fool. Which I guess makes me one too.” You conceded in jest, but still  you accept Gar’s offering gratefully.

Your lean on your elbows, taking a gratuitous sip of the peppermint, sighing at the warmth as it soothes your throat. 

He raises his mug to yours, as if in a cheers before taking a sip as he cracked open his potions book. Most of the students had left at this point as classes had already begun, but clearly Gar must have guessed you’d be here a while. 

Finally you spoke, eyeing him suspiciously, “You’re being awfully nice to me for someone who just woke up in a pillow fort. No questions you want to ask over there?” 

He chuckled before shaking his head, taking another sip of his tea patiently as he continued to read. 

Your eyes narrowed further. 

“Does the book mean you’ll be here a while then? You might be waiting a while before I leave this cave, just so you know. The levels of shame are high.” 

He smirked again, taking another sip.

“Oh me? Just drinking my tea.”

You laughed ruefully, “Right, so I can assume you're not just here to gloat at my hungover state then?” 

This time, he slurped his tea even louder. 

“Gar.” At that accusation you glared again and he laughed as he ducked the spare pillow you threw at him. 

“Relaxxxxx.” He teases as his lips curl in another grin,  “Seems like we may be here a while. Perhaps more tea?” He says smugly as he refills his mug, and you give him another eye roll. 

“You know...I’m going to have to get you back for that. And no amount of tea is going to keep you safe from me.” You add teasingly from your pillow throne. 

But then, his eyes meet yours with just the slightest bit of mischief glimmering behind all that green as he says, “...And what if I don’t want to be?”

Your smile matches his, playing along with him as you softly ask, 

“Be what, Gar?”

You watch as he smirks, sets down the tea and crouches down to you at eye level. Up close you can almost count his merry freckles, even as curl falls in his face his eyes stay on yours.

“If I don’t want to be safe from you, silly.” 

Your grin deepens as you reach forward to tug him down by his tie. 

“Careful. I bite.”

“In that case, move over.”

He doesn’t hesitate before he’s following your tug, crawling right into your space, arms and legs all a tangle as you both laugh at the fact there is not a single graceful way to maneuver yourselves with the limited space in your pillow cave. 

His breath is hot as he laughs mere inches from your own face, and you fall over off balance, but his arms are quick as they snake around your lower back and tug you close.

“C’mere.”

His voice is playful, but his hands are firm as the sudden and eager movement makes you lose your breath as a small laugh escapes to match his own. 

“So bossy today.” 

You cuddle into him, following the line of his body and letting a deep sigh go as you find the spot you’ve fit into many times before. 

Gar lets out a contented hum, just as pleased at the feel of you against him, settling back against you as he runs an idle hand through your hair. 

“So lazy bones, shall we just hide in here all day?” He says softly into your hair as your fingers play at his collarbones. 

“Why? Have somewhere to be?” 

“No…not any place I’d rather be, anyway. Perhaps I should have brought you one of my new concoctions to help that hangover.” 

He murmurs so close to your ear, that he feels you shiver against him and he smiles. 

“...Or perhaps another remedy for you today...?” His hand trails up your side slowly, until it finds your chin, your lips. His thumb draws across your lower lip slowly, and all of a sudden you are very, very awake. 

“I’d much prefer the second option. Your potions always have a weird aftertaste of grapes.” You whisper as you scrunch your nose, and he leans forward to nibble it. 

“Tsk, Play nice.” The look in his eyes as his mouth hovers near yours is anything but hurt, especially as they flicker down to your lips. 

“I can do that.” You breathe slowly as you lean forward, wrapped in his arms, and in the warmth of your cave, your lips touch his without a care in the world…hangover forgotten. 

He presses back immediately with a small sound, his lips part for yours slowly, as if taking his time to taste you. His hands wrap into the fabric of your shirt tighter, while quickly moving to tug the fabric upward to reach the warmth of your hips.

Your half working brain is already going: yes, yes, yes.

Your torso mindlessly arches into his palm that continues to touch every inch of you slowly and gently. He makes a grateful noise as you move against him.

You and Gar were friends, after all. The very best of friends. The type of friends who could do this…. And do it well. 

“Someone seems to be feeling better,” He mumbles, giving you a half smile between your kisses, that are far from stopping, as he lifts your shirt over your head, and you tug the buttons from his. He pulls back quickly, only to help you shrug it off his shoulders, before he is back on you again, devouring your neck. 

You gasp, leaning back for him as his lips are preoccupied with hot, open mouthed, kisses along the column of your throat, and finally your hands are in those wild red curls as you hold him there. 

“Gar!” You sigh in surprise, and he just stops to give you a wicked grin before coming back to your neck, your ear.

“What? You asked me to help you feel better didn’t you?” 

As his hushed tease brushes against your ear, his hand sneaks down your stomach, to your thigh, casually bunching up the fabric of your skirt in his hands. 

“Yes.” You manage to breathe out, and it’s an answer to two questions. At your words, his palm hooks your fabric to the side, dragging up the wetness already there with a sigh.  You rock into his hand greedily and he obliges with a finger slipping  into you gently. Now you’re moaning, and he’s rocking his own hips against you.

Somehow, you manage to note that you DID build a good pillow fort as it’s somehow staying together despite the way the both of you are climbing all over eachother, with no regards to much except tearing your clothes off.

Your hand reaches towards his trousers and she shifts for you, tongue slipping into your mouth as he enthusiastically slips a second finger into you, the feel of him stretching you causing more of a mess as your hands reach for his cock. 

He’s already impossibly hard and ready. You. swipe your thumb along the bead of moisture from his tip with a smile, and he jolts into your touch. You use the stickiness of it to drag the moisture down his shaft and he moans into your mouth. Cheekily, and because you can, you use your other hand to cup his balls and bring him closer into you. 

“M-merlin, you can’t keep doing that,”  He mumbles in a rush, his breath mixing with your own panting, as his fingers continue to get the same reaction from between your own legs. His fingers become slightly less gentle, pressing deeper and faster inside you. You fight a moan as it slips through your lips, your hands accidentally tugging on Gar’s curls. 

He makes a noise, and your eyes snap open your words rushing out, “I-I’m sorry I-”

Gar’s mouth catches yours to cut off your protest, “No, don’t stop. Please.” 

He enjoys the feeling of your fingers in his hair, eyes rolling slightly  back in his head as he feels your nails. Then he realizes he doesn’t know who needs the “remedy’ anymore. You. Or him. 

He feels his skin flushed all over from everywhere you're touching him and he takes in a shaky breath before moving clumsily to get closer to you, removing his hand from you to snake down to your thigh to shift you open to make room for him. You oblige, shifting for him, leg lifting to hook around his hip. He hungrily comes back for your mouth, but you move at the same time.... you both accidentally bump heads. 

“Oops.” You whisper, you both giggle, and he finds it so adorable that he can’t help but kiss your lips again as his hands fight to tug his belt off, trousers down. Suddenly, he sinks back against you, his hard cock pressing between your legs as his hips rock, teasing, to rub against you. 

“Oops.” he whispers back with a wicked grin, and you only respond by tugging him closer by his hair again for another hungry, open mouthed, kiss. 

His hands find your face, a hand gingerly wrapping around your cheek. Everything pauses for a moment as he finds your eyes. A long breath before a subtle nod from you, and you don’t look away from him as you feel him press into you. 

Your mouth falls open, face twisting in sweetness and his expression conveys the same. He breathes out slowly, feeling your warmth close in around him. It's almost too sweet for anyone to bear, and yet he is the one lucky enough to try.

His forehead falls against yours, and your lips rise to meet his quickly between your huffing breaths as he moves deeper.

“Are you oka-”

“Yes. Merlin yes.” 

After some resistance, you find your body is not only taking him, but begging for more. 

You can hardly breathe before he tilts your jaw back to him, for another kiss, before his hips begin to move further. 

The sounds of the both of you fill the small space with shaky breaths, your bodies finding a rhythm as you rock back and forth amidst all the pillows. In the secret space, there is only you and him, and whatever cure you were looking for, you don’t think anything is better than this. 

Your breath comes faster, and his name fills your lungs. 

He loved the sounds you made, so much that he’d already lost himself in them. His strokes become steadied, determined, his free hand wraps around your lower back to anchor you and keep you against him and his pace. He sank into you again, and again your name a breathless whisper into your ear. You can do nothing, but lift your hips to meet him. 

At the slight change in angle, your eyes flashed as your body twisted in pleasure, 

“Gar.” Hearing his name from you in such a way elicits a choked “fuck” from him, before a rush of breath as he instantly recognizes the need in your voice. 

His thrusts became less steady, more demanding, a low groan from his mouth watching you under him, his hair wild and falling in his face as he doesn't dream of stopping. 

Your body seizes, nails digging into his skin, and nothing can compare to the wave of nerve endings firing, penetrating each of your senses. 

He holds you through it, pressing deeper into you as you writhe against him 

And then suddenly he slams flush against you, a groan of your name as he comes hard and fast. The arm that holds him up is shaking as he huffs, a few tremors working through him in the aftermath. He falls against you in an ethereal haze. 

You're both recovering, lost in the haze, the smell of the both of you taking over your small hideaway. 

He turns towards you, his smile uneven. You smile back, brushing his hair gently out of his face. 

“.....I do feel much better now.” You whisper cheekily, and he huffs a small laugh, 

“Mhm.” He tugs you back over for a few more cuddles, glad to hide away from the rest of the world with you as long as you could. 

[magpiefngrl]

halfway through 2024 book review

June isn't over yet but I'm looking at a couple of very busy weeks so it's unlikely I'll read a gazillion new books or something by end of month. So we do this now!

books I enjoyed so far

Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series, set in a post-apocalyptic Paris with fallen angels and magic and dragons in the Seine. I didn't quite love the three main novels, but I enjoyed how unique the world-building was. However, I REALLY loved the last two novellas about Asmodeus and his husband Thuan, who are a delicious pairing. The novellas are: Of Charms, Ghosts and Grievances and Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders.

Pacat's Dark Heir, which I enjoyed so much that I went back to reread Dark Rise and then again, Dark Heir. I liked the second novel a lot more than the first (and I actually ended up appreciating the first novel more on my reread). Needless to say, I am very, very impatient about the end of the series.

A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel. KJC has done it again. The sequel to her Doomsday Books series is fantastic, with a vivid cast, an excellent main pairing, and superb pacing. Couldn't put it down. A great historical m/m romance.

The Warrior's Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold. I'd heard a lot about Miles and it was fun seeing him bullshit his way across the galaxy.

The Mountains of Mourning by Lois McMaster Bujold. A novella in the Vorkosigan saga. Very touching and emotional and a great character study of Miles. Really loved this.

Newcomer by Keigo Higashino. This dude is seriously amazing at crafting unusual murder mysteries. This one is structured as vignettes of shop-owners in a Tokyo neighbourhood and, as the stories progress, more light is shed on the mystery of a strangled woman.

Faithful Place and The Secret Place by Tana French. Fantastic prose, absorbing murder mysteries that are more like deep character studies as well as an incisive portrait of contemporary Ireland.

The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski. This is pretty grim at times, ngl, but it has a daring structure with lots of POVs, switching between numerous timelines, a frame device, lots of found materials (essays and chapters from fictional books). All that worked for me very well. I love some experimentation with craft. I wouldn't say it was my fave read, but I'm happy that I finally reached the end; completing a series always gives me a dopamine rush so yay

progress on my reading goals

A reminder that my two goals for the year are:

to read (some or all of) the Vorkosigan saga

to read less or no US authors

I'm doing pretty well on those two scores. Read a few installments of the Vorkosigan saga, and (besides Bujold and a poetry anthology by Maggie Smith) have read no other US-based authors. My intention was to diversify my reading and, indeed, so far, I've read French, Japanese, Polish, UK, Australian, Irish, and currently reading a Ukrainian author.

fics I loved

I've not read as many books as I normally do so far, esp in the last couple of months, but I read a lot more fic than recent years. I've read some fab stuff in a variety of fandoms. The fics I'm going to rec below are the longer ones that I read on my ereader:

Tarnished Gold by Prim_the_Amazing (bingqiu/svsss, M, 118k) Inventive premise. Couldn't put it down.

Memory (T, 23k) and Out of the Dead Land (M, 62k), both stucky, both orphaned by one of my top authors ever. The second one gave me the worst fic hangover I had in ages. I had to go and rewatch Captain America.

contrapasso by damagecontrol (jegulus, E, 41k) Very horny. I like that.

Fire Burn and Caldron Bubble by pastapug (jegulus, E, 40k) Lush language, fascinating setting.

Beholden by Faith Wood (faithwood) (drarry, E, 123k) Gave me all the drarry feels.

Shout out to @hoko-onchi-writes's WIP: To Hold You in the Earth's Unholy Din, which I am loving <3

That's all, folks. Here's hoping for more wonderful reads till December!

[lolitakirstein]

Hey Neighbor Pt 9

Part 8

WC: ~1.5k

AN: I'm so worried about writing longer chapters in case they are too boring. but I hate splitting things up when I'm on a roll. ha

You watched as the man you had run into exited Toji’s house 30 minutes later. Unable to hear what the two were discussing you relied on their body language to give you some hint as to who he was. The men seemed formal towards each other yet relaxed; Toji with his hands in his pocket or across his chest, the other guy casually lighting a cigarette while showing his back to toji. There must be some level of trust between them, then. Before the man leaves, you notice him gesture towards your house. You draw back further from the window, afraid of being seen.

Once the car is out of sight and Toji returns to his house, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Should you ask Toji who he was or was that being too nosy? Not like i’ll get a straight answer, he refuses to tell me anything, you think, settling on being nonchalant about it.

Fortunately, you had work to keep you focused. And most fortunately, your hangover was minimal. Nothing more than a slight throb thanks to the pain meds Toji had offered you. You become robotic as you scan, sort, and shelve books and answer the same boring questions from customers. 

Before you can notice, it’s your lunch break. You sit in the small cafe that the bookstore offers, downing a hot chai latte and checking your phone. One message from the work group chat and one from Toji that was sent a few hours ago

Toji: You ok?

You fight back the urge to send, “I can’t tell you right now, it’s not the right time,” instead, pocketing your phone and playing hard to get. You clock back into work, ready to start the second half of your shift. 

 Wait, am I wanting him to chase me or something? This guy who knows things but won't tell me? Why am I trying to act like this is a dude i’ve swiped on Tindr? This guy has secrets, deep ones. Ones I probably don’t wanna know—

“Excuse me,” a soft voice snaps you out of your internal monologue. You spin around and are met with a man. His dark auburn hair is close-cropped at the sides while the top fashionably brushes just above his deep brown eyes. A soft shadow of stubble peppers his strong jaw. 

“Oh, hello. Can I help you?” you quickly revert to the robotic motions of a customer service provider.

“Yeah, I was looking for your classical section.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular,” you ask after leading him to the designated section of the store. 

“What would you recommend?” 

A question every worker hates. “Well, can never go wrong with Doestrevsky.” 

“Ah, yes, I read Crime and Punishment in school. Incredible prose,” he responds. 

Your heart lifts at finally being able to discuss books with someone. “Indeed, if you like that, you might like The Idiot. Same themes of human nature and society.” You grab a copy off the shelf and hand it to me. 

“Well I’d be an idiot if I didn’t take the advice of such a beautiful, well-read woman,” he says coyly as you walk to the counter.  You internally groan but also can’t help but blush at the compliment, though the joke was indeed awful.

“Let me know how you like it?” you say after ringing him up and bagging his purchase. 

“How about we discuss it over dinner sometime,” he cocks an auburn brown.

“Oh,” you stammer, thrown off by the sudden offer. It’d been so long since you’d been on a date you forgot what it was like to be asked out. “Sure!”

“Great I’ll keep you posted on my progress,” the man who you now know as Connor pockets his phone after you exchange numbers. “I look forward to discussing it with you and hearing your beautiful thoughts.”

Ok, he was laying it on a little thick but you don't mind. The only interaction you had had with a man for the past few months had been with Toji. And those interactions were hardly civil, much less flirty. Though Toji tended to tease, it was mostly to throw you off the topic of his secrets. 

The rest of your shift goes by quickly and you arrive home before the sun goes down. As you get out of your car, you notice Toji sitting on his porch steps. You try to ignore him but ignoring him is like trying to ignore a bear about to devour you. You give a wave, walking fast to your house. 

“You ok?” Toji asks, still sitting on the steps. Damn, he either can’t take a hint or is just stubborn. 

“Yeah, thanks,” you respond fumbling your keys out of your pocket. You drop them. Cursing yourself for being so easily intimidated by him you stoop to pick them up. Toji’s feet appear in your line of vision. You look up at the giant man standing over you. You want to feel afraid, but you can’t deny the absolute feral part of your brain at the sight of him standing over you. 

“Why didn’t you text me back?” the possessive tone didn’t help dampen the submissive part of your psyche. Damn, why do I have to be such a whore for crazy men?

“I was working,” you squeak out, picking your keys up and walking to your front steps. 

“I wanna talk,” Toji says behind you as you march up the steps and unlock your door. 

“It’s fine Toji. Nothing to talk about,” you turn around, Toji is standing at the bottom of your porch steps. 

“There is,” Toji huffs a breath. “A lot, actually.”

You were not in the mood for this. Your day ended on a good note and you intend for it to stay that way. “Look, whatever it is. I don’t care.”

“Yes you do,” Toji takes one step up. 

You shake your head, even though you were screaming yes in your head. You will not let him win. “Nah, I’m good. I really couldn't care less what your little secrets are. I don’t even know you.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—”

The notification on your phone interrupts the moment. You reach into your pocket for it and notice a text from Connor. 

Connor: I hope you had a good rest of your day. I must say, you made mine :) 

Oh, the cringe was off the charts with this guy. But you can’t keep the stupid smile from appearing on your face. Followed by a giggle. Shit I’m giggling over a guy. I need laid 

“Who’s that?” Toji asks sharply.

“No one,” you shake your head.

“No one huh,” Toji takes another step up, finally standing in front of you. “‘No one’ got you smiling like a goof?”

“You have your secrets, I have mine,” you shrug.  

“You don't blush like that for just no one,” Toji teases, he steps so close you can feel the heat off of him. “Now who could possibly be making sweet little y/n blush so much besides me?”

You crane your neck up to look at him, refusing to show he’s affecting you. “I can’t tell you. It’s not the right time.”

Finally, you manage to knock him off his game by throwing his words back at him. He steps back, putting some distance between you. A scowl wrinkles his brow and his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. You smirk, pleased with yourself. “Good night toji.”

Toji

Toji stares at the door you slammed in his face, stricken dumb by the sass you dished out. He had expected this to be a moment of confession, finally getting it all out in the open. Now standing at your closed door, Toji has no choice but to retreat back home.

After dinner and tucking Megumi into bed, Toji collapses onto his king-size bed. He turns his head to the window, towards your house. The lamp on your bedside table creates a soft glow from your window. He watches as you enter the bedroom. Your eyes on your phone, smiling. 

Toji clenches his jaw. Here he was ready to start having an honest conversation with you, and you were too busy with this mysterious ‘no one.’ He hated being this way, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a sense of protectiveness over you. 

He watches you throw your phone on the bed, the giddy smile still on your lips—perfect lips, soft delicate lips he’s thought about kissing on multiple occasions. With your back to the window, you remove your shirt and toss it to the chair before you begin sliding your pants down. As much as Toji would love nothing more than to watch, he has enough decency to look away, he’s not THAT much of a pervert. 

He reaches into his back pocket, depositing the contents beside him. 

First is his cellphone which he text Shiu–I need to borrow a few of your tech geeks.

The second, is a sealed envelope. No address, no street names or numbers. Just 3 words written in delicate script:

il mio agnellino

[i-can-read-to-him]

The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Reo's writing!

Socials: @reonnex (Tumblr) | Reonnex (AO3)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today? 

A: I've honestly been writing for as long as I can remember. I've always loved creating stories or thinking of ideas I would change in the books I've read. As a kid, my dad and I would read all types of books together at night before bed, which had always sparked my interest. And whenever I was given my first phone and introduced to online media and more fandom spaces, I realized I could write what I wanted. In middle school being a theater kid, most of that consisted of writing musical fanfics.  The drive to keep creating is what keeps me going. I am in the process of trying to write my own original book, And while I have barely started it or even figured out a plot  I want to be able to be the person who can make others feel seen in my words. 

Q: What are some recurring themes you’ve noticed in your writing?

A: I tend to get really into the character's heads. I will write their internal monologue sometimes more than the actual scene itself. I notice that sometimes I may write a good 100-200 words purely on how that character is feeling. Sometimes it can be good, but also it is a habit I am trying to break to keep the pace going and not make the fic seem “stuck.”

Q: What kind of music do you like to listen to while writing

A: Honestly all different types. I have character playlists that I listen to while writing for a specific character if I really want to channel them internally, but the songs can range from Jhariah, Noah Kahan, Alex G and many more. I have to get myself into their mindsets for me to write them or I am stuck on a blank page for hours.

❀

Part Two: Selected Works

I'm biting my own tongue, I am my fathers lost son

Mature | 70K+ (WIP) | Wylan-centric, Wesper Whump, Torture, Torture aftermath, Recovery, PTSD

Reonnex says: This is my pride and joy. A what-if scenario that Wylan was the one captured instead of Inej at the end of Six Of Crows. It is still ongoing but I am almost finished with it. As of now I should be wrapping it up in two more chapters plus an epilogue! 

Who’s a heretic child?

Teen | 19K (Completed) | Matthias and Wylan's friendship Alternative first meeting, Implied child abuse

Reonnex says: This was my first Six Of Crows fic, and what a bold take I went for. It was way out of my comfort zone, but I loved it. This is an alternative first meeting/universe where Wylan was still with his father as Matthias was broken out of Hellgate and has him go undercover as a guard for Wylan after rumors spread about the boy.

Lay your secrets on my lips dear

Teen | 6K (Complete) | Wesper Medical abuse, Drunken confession, Hangovers

Reonnex says: Wylan and Jesper both get drunk together, and as the night progresses, Wylan begins to share more of his past. I love this fic so much as I really wanted to dive more into Wylan’s trauma around those trying to cure him. I focused on the types of tonics based around the 1800s.

A family of trees wanted, to be haunted

Teen | 5K (Complete ) | Inej-centric, Wylan and Inej friendship Referenced Child Abuse, Referenced Rape/Non-con, Panic attacks

Reonnex says: This fic discusses both Inej and Wylan and their traumas. I had a lot of fun writing in Inej’s POV. This fic takes place the night before the Pekka showdown, and I wrote it due to wanting to know why Wylan wasn’t there. 

Paint me like one of your Saints

Teen | 3K (Complete) | Wesper, Jesper-centric ADHD, Paintings, Domestic, Fluff and Humor, Sexual Humor

Reonnex says: Jesper agrees to become a muse for Wylan to paint. I wrote this fic for Jesptember, and I have already fallen in love with it as one of my favorites. As someone with ADHD as well, I feel really connected to Jesper and wanted to show that internal battle of wanting to please others, but also struggling do go through with it.

❀

Part Three: Author's Recs

flowers on burning ships (i know i’m the one you want to forget) by sunshineriptiee

Gen | 30K (Complete) | Wesper Breakups, Second chances, Exes to lovers, Post-Crooked Kingdom

Reonnex says: This includes a Wesper breakup, but also such a sweet ending. I really loved how this fits into Six of Crows so well. Wesper is growing older, and so are Wylan and Jesper. It was a refreshing touch to see how things may not all be perfect, and that there has to be time to figure yourself out.

this town is fake (but you're the real thing) by hopeisbloody

Teen | 50K+ (WIP) | Wesper Fake dating, Actor!Jesper, Influencer!Wylan, Modern era

Reonnex says: I have become so obsessed with this fic so much. It’s a modern AU of Jesper becoming an actor, and Wylan a famous celebrity. The two agree to fake date, but then that becomes into something more.

Shoot from the Hip by @nerdlingmerchling (AKA dandelionpower)

Explicit | 83K+ (WIP) | Wesper Developing Relationship, Past Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Reonnex says: An amazing fic by the talented @nerdlingmerchling. This is the second work in the series Slow Burning Gunpowder. It is a lens through Wesper for the show, including scenes from it, as well as creating new scenes that fit so well into cannon.

❀

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[takeariskao3]

Day 4: Red using my taylor hangover to try and catch back up with #SeveralSunlitDaylights & @corneliaavenue-ao3

this is an extension (prequel?) to my hand's at risk (i fold) aka slytherin!harry

The platform bustled with nonstop conversation and chaos. Owls hooted, cats mewled, and frogs attempted escape from their owners. Friends and housemates greeted each other with cries of joy and claps on the back. Second years cackled as they darted between clusters of mums and dads and grans. It was the typical sort of mess Harry had come to expect from the first of September.

Only this time it was different. Because this time would be his last send off on the Hogwarts Express. He tried not to feel too nostalgic about it, but he couldn’t help taking it all in one last time. He was going to miss the clamor and excitement of a new school year. 

He’d miss school too, but he resolved not to think about that yet. He still had the whole year ahead of him, after all. 

His gaze scanned the colorful crowd, a warmth building up in his chest… until he realized more than one set of eyes stared back at him, and his parents, with awestruck expressions. Which just left him fidgety. 

He definitely wouldn’t miss the staring. 

“Write often,” Mum instructed, reaching out to adjust the collar of Harry’s jacket. “Just because you’re of age, doesn’t mean you don’t have to write anymore.”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry agreed half-heartedly. 

“Oh, that’s encouraging,” Dad deadpanned. “At least promise your poor mum she’ll get one letter a week?”

Mum rolled her eyes. “As if you don’t wait around for Hedwig at the kitchen window every–“

“Sure you didn’t forget anything?” Dad interjected loudly, changing the subject before she could reveal more. “Books? Quills? All those new pants your mum got you for your birthday?”

A snort, barely covered with a cough, sounded from just behind him, and Harry darted his gaze sideways to see Ginny Weasley ducking around the outskirts of their little group on her way across the platform. He watched her progression through the throng toward a large group of redheads a little ways away. Ron, who was in Harry’s year, was being fussed over by his mother. While the twins, who had already left Hogwarts, were handing out catalogs to any student that walked by. 

When Ginny reached her family, she glanced over her shoulder once and met Harry’s eye in an instant. Her hair was longer than when he had seen her at the end of last term, but her bright eyes were the exact shade he remembered. Like warm summer honey. Like dragon barrel brandy. Like glowing amber. 

A split second of impending confrontation passed between them. The kind of feeling that preceded a duel, the kind that narrowed his focus and set his nerves alight.

Then, she looked away, her gaze landing on something to his right, and the spell was broken. He allowed his eyes to linger on her for one extra moment, and noticed her cheeks held the faintest hint of pink. 

Wrenching his line of sight away from what the slight flush did to her freckles, Harry also glanced right to see what had caught her attention. He found his dad watching him with a knowing smirk. 

Of course, Ginny Weasley was staring at Dad. Everybody always stared at Dad. Or, at least, they stared at James Potter, Captain of the Tutshill Tornados. And they stared at Lily Evans Potter, author, activist and the best potion developer in generations. Which generally meant people stared at Harry, too, for having the audacity to exist as equal parts of both of them. 

“The Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, eh?” Dad asked in a mock whisper, reaching out to ruffle Harry's hair. 

Harry scowled at him and smoothed it all down again. 

"Go talk to her," Mum urged quietly and Harry nearly expired on the spot. 

"N-no!” he stammered in reply. “I don’t–it’s not…”

He trailed off as his parents exchanged barely concealed smiles. 

“You’ve got the wrong end of it,” Harry said in a rush. “She threatened to hex me into a jelly last year.”

If possible, Dad's grin stretched even wider. "Glad to see inter-house rivalry hasn't died completely."

Mum hummed thoughtfully as if she didn't quite agree. “Did you deserve it?” 

Harry shrugged, remembering the night he and Ron Weasley had accidentally disrupted a very private, very secret, passageway. “Does it matter? She’s still trouble.”

Dad slung an arm around Harry’s shoulders as the train bellowed out a warning whistle. “Not all trouble is bad, mate.”

[caeli0306]

Hello! Welcome to the unhinged record of my writing and other obsessions

Hello! I'm Caeli. I'm 23 and a journalist by day, rabid Fourth Wing/Empyrean and Star Wars fan by night. FW got me back in to reading fantasy, and then IF left me with a crippling book hangover. I turned to writing fanfiction for the first time to try to get my mind off of it, and now I spend my days writing... and then go home at night and write some more.

My fics (all posted on AO3):

Completed:

Tales from the Airport Bathroom - Xaden/Violet spy/soldier AU almost entirely from Xaden's POV where Violet is Stab Happy and Xaden is a Simp, the meet cute is on an airplane, and Xaden gives wife guy vibes as Violet destroys her enemies. Completed, four chapters, 19.5k words. (1)(2)(3)(4)

the present, the past, and you in between - VERY angsty one shot from Xaden's POV where he reflects on his lifelong love for Violet. Completed, 1k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Shots? - One-shot College AU where Xaden thinks his feelings are unrequited but has to look out for Violet on an evening where she goes a little crazy with the Fireball shots. Completed, 10k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Roadtrip? - A short prequel to Did Someone Say Shots? based on the RQ War Games drabble prompt fics that were getting posted for the 1 year anniversary. Completed, 1.1k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Vacation? - A sequel of sorts to Did Someone Say Shots? that can be read on its own, where Xaden is vulnerable, Violet is emotional intelligent, and 🌶️. Completed, 12.7k words (1)

Violet Sorrengail's Guide to Spinning a Scandal - Xaden/Violet Modern Day AU where Violet is a political crisis consultant and Xaden is running for office. Mutual hatred turns to mutual pining, and of course, scorching sexual tension. 🌶️ eventually. Completed, 71k words. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

cold woman - A very short character study one-shot of our favorite Lilith Sorrengail. Spoilers for end of Iron Flame. Completed, 1k words. (1)

In-progress:

castles crumbling - Xaden/Violet assassin-spy/soldier AU, aka the extended version of Tales from the Airport Bathroom. In-progress, chapter 18 posted 11/12, 142.1k words and counting. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)(11)(12)(13)(14)(15)(16)(17)(18)

Danger Zone - Xaden/Violet Top Gun AU. In-progress, chapter 2 posted 10/28, 11.5k words and counting. (1)(2)

Xaden Riorson's Guide to Surviving a Scandal - aka VSGTSAS from Xaden's POV. While this can be read separately from VSGTSAS, it would be better if you read it after reading the original fic. In -progress, chapter 1 posted 10/25, 5.4k words and counting. (1)

On hiatus:

Swan Song - 2nd gen fic following Xaden and Violet's second daughter, Fen, as she tries to figure out who - or what - killed her sister Nora in a world where Tyrrendor is independent and the venin have been defeated for 25 years. Featuring the fan favorite Aidan Matthias, Rhiannon's adopted son with Tara, a brand new squad, and a squad leader with a very familiar name. Chapter 13 posted 4/14, 72k words and counting, on hiatus indefinitely. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)(11)(12)(13)

Addendum - Companion piece for Swan Song. A series of one-shots expanding on the background of my Swan Song fic and giving perspective from different characters' POV's, especially Nora's. Chapter 3 posted 3/5, 4.6k words and counting, updated sporadically depending on story needs. (1)(2)(3)

Things to know:

Update Schedule:

I don't have one! Like I mentioned in my intro, I am a journalist by day, which means I already do a lot of writing on a daily basis. I love it, but that also means that during busy news cycles I might not have the time or the desire to write. I do this for fun and because I love sharing the worlds in my head with other people, but my first priority will always be myself. If I haven't updated in a week or two, that doesn't mean they'll never be updated! I will always put a note on my Tumblr if I'm putting something on hiatus, along with an estimate for when I plan to start updating again.

What I post about

In order to keep myself accountable, I post frequent updates on my writing progress here. As I said above, I write these stories because I love them, but also because I love sharing them. This helps me stay on track, while also letting people know the general progress of the next chapter.

How long will castles crumbling be?

TBD! Tales from the Airport Bathroom was no plan, just vibes. castles crumbling is the extended version, so it will obviously be longer. While I do have a general plan for this here extended version, I don't have a chapter-by-chapter outline the same way I do with Swan Song. This is partially because I'm still going back and forth on how parts of this story will go, but also because I want to try writing in a bit of a less structured way than I have been doing. I can't imagine it will be shorter than 25 chapters, but honestly, who knows? I'll update this when I have a better idea.

When will you update Addendum again? When should I read the different Addendum chapters?

I created Addendum because I wanted to give people insight into Nora without interrupting the flow of Swan Song. I expanded this concept by adding in a Violet POV chapter as well. These provide context to certain interactions, foreshadow future events, or otherwise flesh out the world in which Fen and the other characters inhabit. In short, it will be updated as needed.

Nora's First Addendum - Read after Chapter 4 of Swan Song

Nora's Second Addendum - Read after Chapter 7 of Swan Song

Violet's First Addendum - Read after Chapter 9 of Swan Song

Lastly, I love hearing from people who read my fics. Feel free to message me whenever, whether its to provide constructive criticism, ask a question, offer up a writing prompt, or just to say hi!

[clumsiestgiantess]

Writing Master Post!

I’ll continue adding to this as I put out more stuff.

Alexis & Erica’s story, the Other-world Universe.  In the midst of a thunderstorm, Alexis falls into another world entirely too small for herself.  Misconceptions and hijinks ensue:

Chapter 1 - [They were trees]

Chapter 2 - [Walking is difficult when you can't see your own feet]

Chapter 3 - [Two figures, one dark alley]

Chapter 4 - [The power of a pile of free cash]

Chapter 5 - [From everything to nothing]

— — — — — — — —

Erica pov Chapter 5 - [When you think you’re alone, someone’s watching]

— — — — — — — —

Chapter 6 - [The truth comes out]

Chapter 7 - [Progress is progress, I guess]

Chapter 8 - [A little rain never hurt anyone]

Chapter 9 - [Hangover? I hardly know her]

— — — — — — — —

Erica pov Chapter 9 - [Invisible friends and flying cars]

— — — — — — — —

Chapter 10 - [What Could Go Wrong?]

Chapter 11 - [Deer don’t carry phones]

— End of arc one —

Chapter 12 - [Who all this was for]

Chapter 13 - [Is Stealing Still Illegal?]

Chapter 14 - [Is now a bad time to say I told you so?]

Chapter 15 - [Throw caution to the wind]

Chapter 16 - [The Smallest Sensations]

— — — — — — — —

Erica pov Chapter 16 - [A love larger than life]

— — — — — — — —

Chapter 17 - [Round One: Fight!]

Chapter 18 - [Sympathy, Speed, and Safety all start with S]

Chapter 19 - [Inspiration Strikes]

Chapter 20 - [Testing the Waters]

Chapter 21 - [Calm Before the Storm]

Chapter 22 - [Round Two: Knockout]

Chapter 23 - [Welcome to the Real World]

Chapter 24 - [Round Three: Rematch]

— — — — — — — —

Erica kicking ass - A cool animation

— — — — — — — —

Chapter 25 - [The Consequences of Your Actions]

Chapter 26 - [Uncharted Territory]

——————————

Erica pov Chapter 26 - [Unrestrained Exploring]

——————————

Chapter 27 - [Love in all Shapes and Sizes]

Chapter 28 - [Road Trip]

— AUs —

List of potential AUs

AU masterpost

*bonus stuff*

Size Swap Episode - Takes place in the middle of chapter 28, but barely mentioned.  I wonder why…

THE GIRLS THE GIRLS THE GIRLS - A silly little animation that I love <3

What happened to the people who were abducted? - Bad stuff, that’s why I left it out of the main story.

Stolen Story Lore - Lore taken right off the desk of a character in the story.

The poor soul who fell into the normal-world (aka Alexis’ and our world) - Unfortunately, falling into strange worlds goes both ways.

Refs - The main three + the founders! (I will add more refs later)

Refs ver. 2 - canon heights in the other-world universe (my hand for scale)

A&E’s relationship - A bit about their love languages and how they connect

A&E’s insecurities - Every character has their flaws. (Might add more characters as they’re introduced)

The GEMS - Each holds a different weapon.

(Kaijune Book - A bit suspicious that I’m putting this near the other-world stuff, isn’t it?)

Shrinking Cabin series:

Shrinking Cabin - Daniella inherits a cabin from her late uncle.  Little does she know the cabin has a much smaller connecting counterpart.

Shrinking Cabin pt 2 - Living in a cabin that can be peered into at any moment isn’t very fun. Daniella tries to get her point across, but now things are so much worse.

Shrinking Cabin pt3 - How long will Daniella be stuck here? Things would be so much better with a friend around.

Shrinking Cabin pt4 (finale) - After one problem finally gets solved, Daniella can focus on the several other problems that aren’t.

Disappearing Cabin series:

Disappearing Cabin pt1 - Back to where it all began. Can Daniella reverse the affects of the cabin, or will she be stuck small?

Disappearing Cabin pt2 - From big to small then back again, Daniella can’t seem to keep any one size!

Winter’s Everlasting:

Winter’s Everlasting - A freezing world where wolves can talk, fairies and dragons exist, and- oh! The circus is in town!

Winter’s Everlasting Creature Index

Language barrier g/t:

Takeover Scenario - A dying Earth meets a slightly better (and bigger) version of itself.

Takeover Scenario pt2 - Learning what works between worlds.

little bonus snippet

Takeover Scenario Future - A different story that takes place after Survivors become the norm.

Takeover Scenario Future (part two) - Ritchie decides to take home a survivor, but is the little human willing to stay?

Takeover Scenario Future (part three) - (If you’re here wondering why I didn’t put this on my master post when I made it… that’s because I forgot…)

Takeover Scenario Future (but it’s the past) - Julie and Ronele’s backstory!

DNAliens stories:

List of everything - Covers the heights, mutations, living spaces, and a bit of backstory of the DNAliens that live/have lived on Earth

Short stories masterpost - A list of all the (mostly) short stories I’ve written about the DNAliens so far.

Promptober/Inktober 2023: Month-long list - A conglomerate of DNAliens, Other-world Universe, and free-standing content.

Fantasy/Reality:

Plot Map - A long story I’ll never fully write, so take the bulleted list of plot points.

Promptober short - A snippet of events that happen after the story.

The Walls Won’t Be There Forever:

The Walls Won’t Be There Forever (1st half) - A pet borrower accidentally reveals her sentience to her captor. She expects the human to hurt her, or even send her off to a lab, but they’re.. apologizing?

The Walls Won’t Be There Forever (Part 2) - Wren is finally free! Now the pet across the hall has freed herself too! Surely only good things can come of all this freedom! Surely.

Bonus oneshot - Takes place in the same world as the main story, but has no correlation with it.

What if half the population just.. shrank? (aka Thanos Snap Doomsday Crisis Scenario):

main story - (eventually…)

Bonus Scenario 1 - Tinies don’t tend to last that long when they’re barely big enough to see…

Bonus Scenario 2 - Can the universe postpone the upheaval of everything as we know it until after the first date, please?

Poll story:

Master list of all parts

CREATURE LORE - Some info on Ralyr’s species and its kin.

Creature Concept Pages

Random Prompts:

g/t brainrot - Something short I posted on a whim.

Role reversal - This time giant is scared of tiny.

Dad bros bonding prompt - Pretty much what the prompt says. A human and a borrower finding some common ground.

You Get What You Wish For - It’s not fun being cursed to live as a doll, especially when it’s you who cursed yourself (and your family, but they don’t know that).

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Tall boi gets smol - What if I create a dude who’s 6’4? What if I have him drink something weird once that makes him shrink smaller and smaller in intervals in front of his fiancé? What if little dude finally stops shrinking at 1 & 1/2 centimeters tall? What if I put him into some situations?

pt 2, another situation - Not only has he lost his only way of communication, he HIMSELF got lost. Here’s hoping he makes it back in one piece.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Giant as unlimited resource prompt - Would you like to be an unwilling supplier of a new self-sufficient nutritional meat product for the rest of the world? Trick question, it doesn’t matter! You’ve been selected!

Landfill Apocalypse - Inspired by a post about tinies living isolated from humans.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Freezing Weather prompt - A borrower ends up stuck in a freezing car. His only way out? The car’s human owner.

Freezing Weather prompt (part 2) - Wow, Alice seems really stressed out. Surely it’s not the tiny man who ran away into her walls that’s causing all that stress, right? It’s exam week, after all; everyone’s stressed.

Freezing Weather prompt (part 3) - Finally, with Alice knowing the truth about him, Fen can rest. Or can he…?

Freezing Weather prompt (part 4) - Time for Alice’s pov! A recap of the first two episodes, but experienced from the ‘giant’s’ perspective.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

“You too” - Something I felt compelled to write after seeing a silly comic strip.

Uncanny Valley - Quick drabble about the idea of an uncanny valley giant.

Alien Abduction horror (but make it g/t) - Two guys chillin in a rental house in the middle of a desert known for ufo sightings. What could possibly go wrong?

A couple g/t dreams - Some dreams that had pretty decent story plots that I quickly wrote down, then expanded on.

Tinies as figurines - The story of a beautiful music box (inspired by the one in this music video)

Tiny stuck outside -> tiny stuck inside - A story inspired by this post.

Consciousness trapped in a video game - What happens when you use a real person’s memories to create a life-like AI

Fatal Vore Horror Story - Pretty much what the title says… Someone’s about to have a bad time.

Celestial Body g/t - My first and only story about my celestial body ocs

[bloody-wonder]

starting new series

in order to balance my reading i like to track the progress i'm making with old series vs how many new series i'm starting. my loose goal is usually to finish/catch up on at least five and start at least ten new series in a year - which turns out isn't as difficult as it sounds bc we're not even halfway through the year yet and i already hit the latter mark! here's an overview of what i read and my opinions :)

series that were so good i immediately read all the books available:

doctrine of labyrinths by sarah monette (book one: mélusine). okay so this was life-changing. not sarah monette inventing dark aroace romantasy in 2005! they hated her for her slay so much she had to start writing cozy fantasy under a pen name! this story is so weird and unique i honestly have no idea how to pitch it except to say that fans of books like the locked tomb, mdzs and captive prince will very likely enjoy it too. the fact that it's not a depraved booklr cult classic by now is a travesty. but we can still make it happen so if you fall into this particular reader category (and wouldn't be put off by the fact that someone may or may not want to fuck his brother a little bit) please do yourself a favor and read this series! check the trigger warnings first tho

the cemeteries of amalo by katherine addison (book one: the witness for the dead). i liked the goblin emperor, didn't love it, but after binging doctrine of labyrinths in less than a week i sorely needed a cure for my book hangover so i decided to pick up this spinoff series and wouldn't you know it - i binged it too lol. ig february was my monette/addison era. amalo felt like course correction after the goblin emperor and, while it's set in the same world and written in the same tone as that book, many of its aspects reminded me more of doctrine of labyrinths which is probably why i ended up liking it more - and was surprised by that too since i typically don't like this slow meditative writing style in fantasy but ig sarah monette just brings a certain je ne sais quoi to her books (emotional whump). the third book is coming out next march and i'm very excited to see what the saddest gay priest detective will do next👀

the stolen heir duology by holly black. to be completely honest i don't think these books are necessary. ig it was cool to return to elfhame several years post tfota and see some of my favorite ya fantasy characters from outsider pov but i found the main couple quite bland, especially in the second book where they are predictably overshadowed by jude & cardan in every respect. jude & cardan are simply The Power Couple, i love them and i appreciated the opportunity to revisit them in their 20s. madoc, everyone's favorite worst dad, has some nice scenes too but apart from that this installment was neither adventurous nor action-packed nor particularly romantic. it's clear now that holly black plans to continue writing in the elfhame universe and i sincerely hope she will try to shake things up by going full adult and/or changing the genre (i have this galaxybrain idea of a wwdits style mockumentary about madoc's exile in the human world which i'm trying to telepathically plant in holly black's brain as we speak)

evander mills by lev a. c. rosen (book one: lavender house). lavender house was the first book i read this year - i picked it up on a whim, honestly not expecting much, but ended up liking it a lot. in many respects it's a pretty basic closed circle murder mystery but with an all queer cast, whereas the second book has our gay detective investigating blackmail. the fact that the story takes place in the (homophobic) 50s and the queer victims are not protected by the law whatsoever adds an interesting spin to the whole idea of seeking and serving justice. i never thought i'm a serialized detective story type of person but ig if you make it queer enough i'll read anything lol so now i'm eagerly awaiting the next andy mills mystery which will come out in fall.

series i'm maybe going to continue reading later:

aubrey & maturin by patrick o'brian (book one: master and commander). seeing all the old man yaoi on a boat memes on tumblr rapidly propelled this series to the top of my tbr. now i have finally read the first book and,, liked it? lol idk the prose was very good, aubrey & maturin's friendship was sweet and the reading experience was cozy, with funny moments here and there, but overall i wasn't gripped by the plot nor did i particularly connect to the characters. i'm glad i read it but rn i'm not planning to continue this (extremely long) series any time soon. the book did have a delightful nautical atmosphere tho so there's a chance i might return to aubrey & maturin's adventures one day, if the mood strikes

page & sommers by cat sebastian (book one: hither, page). this one i didn't like at all tbh. i think cat sebastian just isn't the author for me and i should quit trying to read her books. however, i am both blessed and plagued by completionism and this series only has two books so i might read the second one this year just to appease my demons lol

series i'm not going to continue:

adam binder by david r. slayton (book one: white trash warlock). someone on tumblr recced this book to me ages ago and i wanted to read it ever since - purely bc of the title tbh😅 something i failed to consider tho is that urban fantasy is probably my least favorite subgenre of fantasy. and this book unfortunately didn't feature any memorable character moments or mind-blowing plot bits that could have broken through my unimpressedness with the urban fantasy setting🤷‍♀️

rook & rose by m. a. carrick (book one: the mask of mirrors). okay now we're entering the Dislike & Disappoint territory. i got interested in this series bc i heard it being compared to gentleman bastard but the similarities end at the renaissance venice setting and a conperson protagonist. the mask of mirrors completely lacks the rizz and swagger of scott lynch's writing and its characters just don't have the oomph of locke lamora and his team. so that was disappointing. on top of that the book is extremely long and convoluted with a worldbuilding that bothered me a lot and i couldn't put my finger on why until i read the themes section on its wiki page - ah yes, the us politics, again, using a foreign setting as a window dressing, again. listen, ik the us politics are important for the us authors to write about but when i pick up a book inspired by the italian renaissance what i want to get is themes and motifs representative of that time and place, even if we modernize them by (honestly lackluster) queernormativity and gender equality. i was mildly curious about the identity of the rook but now that it's been revealed i see no reason to continue this series.

the masquerade by seth dickinson (book one: the traitor baru cormorant). i intended to finish this book last year and leave it there but it was so unbelievably boring it put me into a reading slump for like two whole weeks and i ended up finishing it in january. i noticed that books about colonialism often try so hard to strike this solemn literary tone and say something profound that characters and plot just get bulldozed over by that dedication to conveying this very serious theme. admittedly, baru isn't as bad as that - i'm just biased bc she was pitched to me as a character in the same category as lymond and tyrion lannister so i was disappointed on that account seeing as it was the only reason i decided to give this book a try. i will say the general concept of the story and the plot twist at the end were indeed good but the overall reading experience was so aggressively meh that they just weren't worth it for me and so when the Big Thing happened i was still underwhelmed.

emily wilde by heather fawcett (book one: emily wilde’s encyclopaedia of faeries). i wrote a long ass goodreads review about why i disliked this book so much but let's see if i can be concise for once (ha, as if). i'm a big fan of olivia atwater's books so based on all the buzz around emily wilde i thought i was picking up a similar faerie story. turns out this was more like an "elevated" cozy fantasy version of ali hazelwood's books featuring howl in leather pants (tweed pants?). where atwater uses faerie tale tropes and fae lore to explore classism, neurodivergence and nuanced romantic and platonic connections, fawcett seems to write from a perspective that is decidedly normative. just like emily wilde, half a soul has a heroine who reads as neurodivergent but the narrative is always firmly on her side, whereas the moral in emily wilde seems to be that she has to smile and socialize more or smth. just like emily wilde, a thousand stitches features a faerie as a love interest but in this case he indeed reads like a whimsical magical being, so similar to humans and yet so different at the same time, whereas mr cheap howl knockoff reads like a quirky human man who is an asshole sometimes and can do magic. atwater's books are fairly popular but emily wilde is the book that has mass appeal and ig i shouldn't really be surprised bc when have the stories that question the status quo ever have been more popular than the ones that reinforce it? so i'm not really surprised but i am bitter. this book left a sour taste in my mouth and made me feel really bad about myself which was something i hadn't reckoned with when i picked up this cozy fantasy. tbh i initially was going to masochistically read the sequel out of morbid curiosity but then i remembered that i can read literally anything else instead lol the hater gods spared me just for once😅

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[burningvelvet]

I completed Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey in one day yesterday. I'm in a book hangover, but here are my initial thoughts on the novel, as well as on Anne:

- Anne is an underrated Queen, but I already knew that from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, her second novel. If only she hadn't died at 29! Agnes Grey was her first foray into novel publishing, and proves how much she developed her talents in the interim between itself and Tenant, which most people would agree is much better.

Yet, for a debut novel, Grey is nevertheless impressive. Her acute observations and descriptions of social experiences are some of the most clear I've ever read, and she was as adept in her satire as Jane Austen. After reading both her novels, Emily's only, and more than one of Charlotte's (Jane, and currently 1/4 through Villette) I can say she's certainly the most moral and progressive Brontë, and maybe even the most socially intelligent. There's a lot of humor in this book, and despite some of the dark themes, it never feels miserable.

Anne was a remarkably resolute woman, which comes through in both her heroines; even when they are oppressed and trapped in the most dire situations, they consciously refuse to adopt a victim mindset, instead trusting in their own strength and resilience. After enduring much suffering, both heroines trust in their faith, focus their energy on creating good lives for themselves, and by doing so achieve happiness in the end.

Anne Brontë's heroines are true examples of female stoics in the original philosophical sense, capable of great empathy and feeling as well as self-control and self-discipline. The Anne Brontë heroine has a quiet confidence about her. She champions moderation and common sense, not because she is boring or easily written off by the misogynistic epithet of "prude," but because she has witnessed true chaos and experienced true misery, and these things have served to make her more calm because she does not internalize them but triumphs over them. She has decided to learn from life's lessons and seek a life of tranquility, simplicity, and faith.

- This novel has everything! We've got the (literally designated) not-so-reformed rake in Sir Thomas Ashby (and what a rakish name that is), we've got some demonic children, we've got a sexy country parson, religious discourse, depictions and poignant criticism of classism, sexism, marriage, animal abuse, etc.

- Mr. Hatfield is basically Mr. Collins from P&P. Matilda rejecting him was golden.

-- The beginning of this novel, summarized: "I can't wait to meet these amazing children I've heard so much about! Gee, I really hope they aren't sociopathic animal torturers! What are the odds, am I right?"

-- No wonder the Brontë's didn't succeed in setting up their own school -- being a governess or teacher was simply horrible back then, as it largely still is today, and I think for the most part some of them simply weren't cut out for the job to begin with -- which is saying nothing bad about them or their abilities. Maybe if they lived today they would have done well as teachers or professors with a little more modern structure and having workers rights, etc...

-- I like the short length of this novel! It goes by very fast, and I read the first 100 pages or so myself very quickly, and the rest in audiobook format, but this is very rare for me. I've become accustomed to the Brontë family "language." I'm glad I didn't start with this novel though; I think it's easier to appreciate Agnes Grey after reading their "greatest hits" (Tenant, Jane, and Heights). It definitely isn't my favorite Brontë novel but then again I don't have a favorite. They each fulfill slightly different functions yet have many overlapping themes, so it's difficult to rank them.

-- I think one of the reasons this novel may not be as popular as it could be is because the first half of the novel is generally bleak and this may cause people to give up. The narrator's life generally improves in the second half of the novel, but still, Grey does not have as much dramatic "umph" as does what I hereby dub the "Brontë Greatest Hits Triad" (Heights/Tenant/Jane) which all will prefer. Still, the novel is worth reading for any Brontë fans as it is good and contains many of the Brontë tropes we all know and love. It also stands as a marked contrast to Anne's second novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, and makes me appreciate that novel so much better.

[nexionswild]

IN WHICH reader defend bill from micah's mockery.

includes: bill williamsom x reader

content warning: micah is his own warning, but nothong crazy, fluff, bill's real name "marion", no pronouns. [GN]

a/n: bill doesn't get enough appreciation imo.. i mean poor guy everyone bullies him.

word count: 1, 375

You're not the confrontational type.

Like Mary-Beth or Hosea, you like to sit back and relax as you enjoy the songs of the wildlife while reading a nice book about the fantasies of the world or the events of some author's life, and nobody bothered you about it. Aside from drowning yourself in words or games, everyone knew that you know how to handle yourself, perhaps from time to time you had to be the one in distress but it was remotely easy, given the fact that you already got the dirty work done, hence granting the gang members an easy access to get to you. All of that to say that you're not messed with, and despite Micah's barking, do you really care? No, and it infuriates him how boring your reactions were, there was no flavor, no taste. Slowly, his annoying bickering slowly drifted onto Bill, and you've noticed how increasingly loud he's become.

Each times he'd strike a conversation with him, he'd sarcastically reply or straight up mock him while claiming he was just "messing around" when obviously he's desperately pushing all of his buttons to get him riled up and fuming in nothing but pure anger, and fortunately for Micah, he was aiming at a man who's temper is as fragile as a flower. And though Bill knows he shouldn't be easily driven up into madness knowing Micah's intention, he can't help it. He can't just ignore it, why do you think he keeps replying to his mischievous questions? You couldn't help but feel bad for Williamson, all he does is quietly finishing his job then drinking himself to death if not for Micah's teasing, otherwise he'd be playing Dominos or Poker, or make sure he has ammunition and check if his equipment's clean.

Recently, you've been noticing his drinking habits has been progressively worse to the point where he deals with a massive yet agonizing hangover the next morning. You've been trying to help him through it, but being full of himself, he'd often brush it off and claim he'll be fine without bothering you too much. You're a pacifist, and he knows. That's why he doesn't snap at you like he does with others who try to reason with him or smack some sense into that thick brain of his. Today is another day where you sit quietly in your corner as the crackle of the campfire plagues your ears with the laughter and the drunken slurring sentences of the gang. Like usual, you use the light source of the campfire's dancing flames to keep track on what you're reading with a bottle of beer by your side, there's nothing to do around these hours really, so the least you could do is entertain yourself with fancy words and overly detailed description of an item that could be something as simple as a silver spoon.

Usually your mind gets foggy and automatically cancels out noises to focus on your activity, but your concern for Bill has hit a point where you'd willingly stop your reading to look over, then slide your eyes back to the dirty, yellow pages of your novel. "Got yerself a bodyguard, Marion?" Micah's voice spoke up with a harsh tone as he looked over to Bill, who'd been peacefully drinking his whiskey before grunting at the man's new attempt at making his blood boil. You'd relax on your back, watching it unfold to figure out the best moment to put an end to it. Bill stared before taking a deep breath as he was looking in silence. "What's yer deal, Micah? Always pickin' on me for nuthin'... what is it?"

You'd take a sip out of your bottle as you glanced over, switching your gaze to whoever's talking. And soon enough, the conversation slowly built up with tension as Bill's grip on his bottle increased to the point where you could see the cracks forming on the glass as he sneered back. And Micah? He was sickly enjoying it. You could tell by the smile on his face as he seemed to be analyzing Bill's expression while he spat all the possible insults that came up in his head. "I was just playin' around, Marion. Just playin' and yappin' as usual, f'course.. no need to be cryin' bout it, Williamson."

"You little—" Bill got up as he gripped on his holster where his gun hid as a twitch became noticeable on his face, a vein popping out of his neck while his eyes narrowed in fury.

"Micah, you'd be cryin' on your knees if Dutch told you to shut up and walk away. Ya think we ain't seeing ya lickin' his boot like a dog everytime you spoke to him, Mr. Bell?" You'd talk back with nonchalance as you slowly put your bottle down, your brow raising as you tilted your head to the side. It was new, because you never searched for any problems with anyone, and picking a fight with you was quite difficult since you'd quietly brush it off as if whatever they say to you in an effort to get a rise out of you was nothing but a mosquito bite. Micah would stare at you, caught off guard before bursting in malicious laughter. "Have I angered the little slacker? Oh, how wonderful.. my, oh my, how nasty."

"The only nasty thing here is yer mouth runnin' wild. Why don't you put those cocky lips to work and start gettin' it on with Dutch? Since he's so great, and amazing.." you'd quote him. You know damn well how it goes with him and his tendency of pleasing and swaying Dutch by saying the most ridiculous of compliments to gain more affection points from his part, you've been keeping a low profile, yes, but you've been listening to everyone in silence too, it felt like knowing everyone's secret being in your position. Your head cocked to the side as you watched with your bedroom eyes, your lids falling slightly revealing nothing but boredom. You weren't entertained by this, you didn't get the thrill of an argument like Micah. Obviously you weren't as bright as him and he knows. He'd stare for a couple of minutes before laughing, coughs interrupting in as he hummed. "Yer a clown, real funny. Fine.. apologies for touchin' yer prince. Cowpoke." He grunts with a distasteful smile, before eventually walking away. Bill could only watch in dreadful silence before huffing as he groggily sat down on his seat, an exhausted sigh purring out while he messily took a sip from his bottle.

You didn't expect a thank you from his part, and he isn't in the mood to express his pitiful gratitude right now. He'd cough for a while as if to fill the void between the two of you before tilting his head down where his hat would cover half of his face, only revealing his beard and dry lips. His body was burning hot with anger and the alcohol he consumed. "You.. you didn't have to do that, y'know?" He mumbled under his breath, his fingers twitching and fidgeting around his whiskey as he cleared his throat before looking back at you. You'd stare at him in a haze, your brows raising slightly before blinking. "It wasn't for you."

You'd lean on your seat as you spoke. "I was just makin' sure big bad Bill wouldn't be killin' anyone." You said, boring into his eyes as he kept his head slightly low. There was another moment of quiet, but then suddenly you'd hear a choked out laugh, sounding like an overheated kettle as he snorts. You'd chuckle along with him, figuring you've put him at ease for now.

"Fine, I guess you were right for that." He blurted out, looking away for a moment before his eyes dragged back to you. He seemed way more calm and relaxed, it was seeing him that way. Usually he was always grumpy or stayed in his own corner, where he'd be doing nothing but chopping wood or picking a fight with everyone, or even sharpening his knife and prepping his guns.

"Thank you."

He said. You look up, surprised. But a warm smile rushed over. "Sure, you're welcome, Bill."

[pingnova]

I want to know more about the Christian Bible but don't want all of the conservative riff-raff. What should I read?

A friend posed this question to me, so here are my suggestions.

Firstly, my biases: progressive politically, American, white, protestant/ELCA Lutheran, queer/gay/LGBTQ. The stuff I recommend is going to line up with these.

Quick aside on different ways Bibles are translated and interpreted

When translating an ancient language to modern English, there is no "literal" translation; that is, no translation that will be word-for-word the exact same meaning. If you have used Google Translate, you've probably noticed there are nuances that a "literal" word-swap machine translation misses. This is especially true with the Bible.

So be wary of any translation (or person or movement) that claims they follow the One True Literal Translation. That doesn't exist, and you'd be the chump in that situation. (Looking at you Evangelicals.) Conservatives and progressives are guilty of falling into that fallacy.

^ Above: A funny example of how a machine word-for-word translation misses a lot of meaning. "My dog has a hangover" machine translated to German and then back to English becomes "my dog has a cat." x

There are three main buckets of Bible translation. IMHO---and many scholars will agree---the best translation to read will actually be two or three translations. One for each method. The Bible is messages ("facts" meant to be passed down, history) and art (poetry, storytelling, song), which need their own special treatment to be understood in another language.

Some translations focus on the individual words (word-for-word/Formal Equivalence), some focus on the sentences or chunks of meaning (thought-for-thought/Dynamic Equivalence), and some try to balance the two with context a modern reader would understand (paraphrase). I won't detail it all here, but I highly recommend reading this Logos article which goes further in depth. I've included their helpful graphic below which breaks this down into four buckets, but you get what I mean.

Additionally, know which Christian tradition you want to approach this from because they include different books in their Bibles. Catholics also have a set of books called the Apocrypha, but most Protestants exclude those books. Bibles from other parts of the world have different books...

So look up the list of books you want to include too. I think it's great to read them all, but be aware that if you went to talk to someone about this they might not know what the hell you're talking about if you've read the Apocrypha and they haven't.

So tl;dr: No single Bible translation is ever going to give you the best understanding. The Bible is in an ancient language, so you need multiple perspectives to understand what it's saying as a modern reader. Modern translators and politics also influence which versions of the Bible people read, to the point of excluding whole groups of books. At least two different Bible translations that you can compare side by side is the best place to start.

A funny post by @enriquemolina that really cuts to the point.

On to the actual Bible recommendation.

Which Bibles to read

I personally use The Lutheran Study Bible by Fortress Press. It's NRSV, which is a moderate translation (mix of word-for-word translation and meaning-for-meaning) that includes supplementary materials for new learners. It's the official Bible of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (not actually evangelical but that's another long story), which I'm part of, so I'm biased. I felt like it was a solid translation to grow up reading with a focus on helping you understand what it's saying and to think about the meaning for yourself, vs dictating the meaning to you. It is not a poetic translation however, so it wasn't until I was an adult that I learned the bible was also full of songs and poetry, which today I think of as just as valuable.

I don't have a good rec for a more poetic version unfortunately, but many people still enjoy the King James Bible when they want something flowery. I too have taken verses from there for decorative purposes. BUT: it was commissioned to support the reign of King James VI and thus has decent bias written into it. It is conservative by modern terms as well.

@blessedarethebinarybreakers has a post of good recs as well. They explicitly recommend AGAINST the NIV, NIT, and ESV. Look up a conservative church near you and check which versions they recommend. Then don't read those.

Bible Gateway is a good place to read different versions side by side. Look up quotes you like or that bother you in multiple translations. It may help you decide which ones you want to ultimately buy.

I have not actually read these versions but I wanted to include them so you know your options. These were created with specific intent against bigotry, so they have a strong bias. Not that I find that problematic in this case - there's a crap ton of Bibles that were made intentionally to perpetuate bigotry. So I'm just choosing which bias I prefer.

First Nations Version: An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament by Terry M Wildman <- Native perspective (paraphrase)

The Queen James Bible <- KJV edited to remove or explain core clobber passages, very popular with queer Catholics

The Inclusive Bible: The First Egalitarian Translation by Priests for Equality <- gendered language and other instances of bias edited out, tho I think it's still anti-gay?! (paraphrase)

Resources for inevitable encounters with bigotry

Many people avoid the Bible because the people and movements that claim it really lay the bigotry on thick and justify it with this dusty old book. If you have the interest to learn more about the Bible, very quickly you're going to encounter this bigotry in the translations and supplemental materials.

I'll tell you now on no uncertain terms: Your interpretation of the Bible does not HAVE to include bigotry, despite what many outside entities may try to tell you.

I always say, "The Bible is so big and so varied that you can 'make' it say anything. The true test is what you choose to make it say. Something hateful? Or something loving and affirming?"

It says a lot more about someone when you remove the excuse that the Bible fundamentally is full of bigoted beliefs. If you believe that racism and slavery are good and natural because it's in the Bible, as early American slavers claimed, then you're actually just human garbage. Any modern sane person knows its presence in an ancient text has no weight on today. It's the same for anything else on its pages.

Conservatives "cherry pick" meaning from the Bible that they prefer to believe, but it's just as true that so do progressives. The Bible is huge and contradictory because it's a bunch of very old texts written by a ton of different people playing a game Telephone over a few thousand years. It's full of stories, poetry, and history---with some bigotry baked in, and some applied in modern times. The stories are full of complex characters (heroes, villains, antiheroes) and history is not always pretty. The books of the Bible literally argue with each other.

^ Above: I've always enjoyed this graphic, which maps all of the times the Bible contradicts itself. That's a lot! Good thing the Bible isn't to be taken literally, that would be impossible. (Evangelicals: .....) x

Nobody is meant to replicate what's in the Bible or use it as a guidebook for how to live life to the letter. You're meant to read the arguments and come up with your own answer. (Personally I think the winning hint is how many times the protagonist talked about loving one another.)

tl;dr: If conservatives are cherry picking the Bible and progressives are cherry picking the Bible, who is flying the plane?! You are. So make the choice that doesn't hurt anybody.

Anti-Semitism and the Old Testament

I am an advocate for reading Old Testament translations (and interpretations) very critically. I'm sure all are aware of the anti-Semitism baked into Christianity. A lot of it stems from interpretation of the OT, which includes major portions of the Tanakh, the Jewish core religious text. The OT and the Tanakh are not one and the same, but they are entwined, and cause a lot of grief for everyone involved when not treated with the proper care.

Read the Old Testament separately from the rest of the Bible (the New Testament). I have really enjoyed using the free (!!) website Sefaria, an online library of Jewish texts. You can compare the Tanakh translations and commentary there to the same of the OT in your Bible of choice. (Also please throw them some money when you can, they're truly one of the great joys of the internet and operate as a nonprofit, keep them online forever.)

Beware any (Christian, New Testament) Bible translations that claim to be Jewish. There is a kind of Christian that calls themself a "Messianic Jew" that claims to recognize Jesus as the Jewish messiah. It's all very offensive, so please do not engage. Check the sources of websites and books to make sure you don't see the word Messianic. There are true academic texts by Jewish scholars that engage with Christian thought, but it will be very clear that they are not a Christian themself.

Speaking of... Another resource you must read is Better Parables. This is a website by a Jewish scholar who interprets the famous (and infamous) Christian parables of Jesus through the paradigm of Jewish academic dialogue. Many Christians have never heard non-anti-Semitic readings of a lot of New Testament content so this site offers refreshing perspective to get you out of that mindset. Particularly if you grew up with Christianity, I consider this mandatory reading.

Queer affirmation in the Bible

Personally I have moved beyond the fight against clobber passages (Bible verses interpreted to support homophobia) towards actively affirming readings of the Bible. I have tons of these resources, so I'm just gonna make a list.

Websites

Queer Theology - podcast, classes, and theological resources

Queer Grace Encyclopedia - succinct articles and links on common questions

Blessed Are the Binary Breakers - podcast and long running Tumblr blog @blessedarethebinarybreakers

Supplemental Bible interpretation

The Queer Bible Commentary by Deryn Guest, et. al. - if you can get it used for cheaper, this is a must have while reading the Bible

Take Back the Word: A Queer Reading of the Bible by Robert E Goss, et. al. - if you can't afford the above commentary, this has only a few chapters from the larger book for a better price

For your inner child

What Is God Like? by Rachel Held Evans - I literally cried reading this children's book, I'm man enough to admit it. This is what we all should have been taught about the Christian god as kids.

[shsenhaji]

📚 August Reading Round-Up 📚

While I may not have read or finished that many books this August, I was able to read some very good ones. Books that genuinely touched and moved me, in a way that hasn't happened in a long while. A small but mighty reading month 😊

A special shout-out to Seasparrow (picture me at work, at my desk, holding back tears or almost laughing out loud, and then left to suffer for the rest of the day with the biggest book hangover)

- Seasparrow by Kristin Cashore (So good and emotional!!!! Teared up many times; I was right about LV!; liked that they were all in the survival story together; the healing and the ending!!!!)

- Running Close to the Wind by Alexandra Rowland (Very good, emotional but mostly profound, funny and irreverent and ends with such a bang, loved the characters and their growth and the plot)

- Fire by Kristin Cashore (Re-read, felt there was perhaps a bit more plot than I did my last read, cried a bit at the end, feel like the audiobook might’ve hit harder but still enjoyed it, definitely some slapping a table because it’s so good moments)

- The Suffragette Scandal by Courtney Milan (Brilliant, loved the MC, delightful (but not long enough) ending, loved the relationship and its progress and the plot)

- Secrets of Blackthorn Hall by Cassandra Clare (Re-read, fun, enjoyable, loved the illustrations and the Kickstarter physical edition overall, got really invested in the plot and didn't want to stop reading)

[thethistlegirlwrites]

Muscle Memory

When Emma Cole snaps back to awareness, her hands are stained with blood. 

Her former partner is lying underneath her, thrashing feebly, hands pressed to the bloody slashes on the side of his neck. The red is pooling under him, warm and tempting. She could tear his hands away and suck the life from his veins so, so easily.

But she shouldn’t.

It’s the first training session she’s successfully mastered both flipping over someone pinning her down and ending the move with her stake positioned to be driven through her attacker’s heart. Her legs are still wrapped around John Stoker’s waist, her fingers clenched on the stake hovering an inch above his chest.

He’s grinning at her, proud.

She’s his first trainee since his transfer to Chimera, and she’s doing well. Progressing fast, mastering the skills and physicality that will keep her alive in the field. She’s a credit to his performance.

But she knows he doesn’t care about that.

He’s proud of her because he sees her as a friend and a partner.

“Nice work.” He reaches up to push the stake aside. “Hope you never have to use this one, but that shouldn’t mean you don’t learn it well. That split second of muscle memory could save your life.”

It didn’t. Nothing could have prepared her, could have prepared any of them, for facing a member of the First Circle. 

But it just might have saved John.

Because that move was a part of the real Emma Cole. Muscle memory enough to crack through the walls Arion has been building in her head between who she used to be and what she is now. Enough to stop her from finishing the job she started with her claws at John’s throat. 

A job Arion desperately wants her to finish.

A pain like the hangover from hell is building in her head, behind her eyes, like someone has grabbed her brain and squeezed it in their fist as tightly as they can.

She’s not following the script.

Arion thinks he can force her to. And when he realizes pain isn’t going to convince her, he’s going to override every part of the real Emma Cole still left in her until she’s just a shell under his every whim, doing his dirty work.

He turned her. He most likely killed Adam. But he isn’t stopping there. Arion doesn’t like unfinished business. He doesn’t intend to leave until he’s destroyed everyone with the audacity to come after him.

He doesn’t like to lose.

But tonight, he’s going to.

Finish the job. Kill him, my child, and join me. 

“Get. Out.” Emma hisses aloud. You’re not welcome here. She’s not sure that will do any good, but she never did give Arion permission to be inside her brain.

I made you. I can unmake you.

Fine then. Do it. Then come kill him yourself instead of being a coward who hides behind the faces of his friends. 

She knows why Arion wants her to do this. John wouldn’t hesitate to stake the ancient vampire, but Emma is someone he knew. Someone he trusted. Someone he was willing to kill to protect. And to die to protect.

His hesitation almost cost him his life.

She knows without a doubt that if she attacks again, even if he manages to stake her, it will be the end for them both. 

Get out of my head. You don’t control me.

Foolish child. You’re barely a week old. You cannot hope to challenge me. I have centuries on my side.

And you’re a damn drama queen. She knows that line. It’s something Dracula said in the book John’s ancestor compiled, the record of the people who defined hunters as they’re known today. The people whose legacy he’s part of.

And her too.

And if there’s one thing she remembers from that book, it’s that even a vampire’s influence can be turned against them.

I’ll finish the job, alright. I’ll find you and I’ll find a way to kill you.

Fledglings can never kill their sire.

Oh, but that’s where you underestimate me. I was a hunter, Arion. I know better than to ever work alone. Maybe I can’t kill you, but I can find people who can. And lead them right to you. When they come for their own fallen teammate, I will show them exactly where you are. 

They’ll kill you first, for what you have done to him.

They want you more. If they stake me afterward, so be it. But if I die, I’m taking you with me.

The connection goes dead in a white-noise static, like the radio in John’s car hitting the edge of a station’s reach.

Emma collapses onto the concrete, half on and half off John’s body, with a keening gasp. 

“Em?” John asks, weakly, struggling to sit up with his hands still holding his blood inside him the best he can. She can hear engines, tires, brakes screeching. His SOS was routed to the nearest patrols. They’re coming to get him like she knew they would.

She can’t lead them to Arion now.

And despite her bravado, she doesn’t really want to die.

Not yet.

She strips off the black leather jacket she’s been wearing since the hunt where she died, the Chimera’s head embroidered on it stained with blood and earth. 

She presses the inner lining to John’s neck, repositions his hands over it, and then scrambles to her feet and bolts into the darkness, leaving the last pieces of her life as a hunter behind her.

It’s time to find out who Emma Cole is as a vampire.

(You can read this story and more from this universe on my WorldAnvil here!)

@catwingsathena @nade2308 @the-one-and-only-valkyrie @telltaleclerk @ettawritesnstudies  @writeouswriter