#boo!! or booze but no one calls her that they just got used with boo

[flovoid]

when an alcoholic single dad with a messed up past have three kids that are named after alcohol beverages…

[tarydarrington]

"Alright, everyone," Veth says with authority, and everyone else quiets down. "Tomorrow is the big day."

Caleb sighs and ducks behind his drink. There is a speech coming. This is exactly the sort of ceremony he had hoped to avoid by having this get-together at his home rather than the bar Veth had suggested. It's only five of them, tonight; Beauregard and Yasha are always in town, and Veth had insisted on coming. And Essek, of course. He's not sure when the elf's presence at his side became an of course, but in a careful way, he likes it.

“As the person in this world who cares the most about Caleb--”

Essek silently quirks an eyebrow at that, and it doesn’t get past Veth.

“Alright, come on, just because you got him into bed and I didn’t doesn’t mean--”

Caleb clears his throat loudly, and Veth’s smile snaps back into place.

“As Caleb’s oldest, dearest, truest friend,” she says, and Essek manages to look dignified even while rolling his eyes, “it is my humble duty to tell you all how amazing he is on this momentous occasion.”

“You know, I am starting a new job, not getting married,” Caleb murmurs in her direction.

“And we’re all very proud of you!” Veth replies.

Caleb takes a long drink as the others chime in with agreement. Yasha shoots him a sympathetic look, and he returns a tight smile.

“Come on, man,” Beau says from where she leans against the table, “aren’t you excited, at all?”

He takes a long breath. Excited is a word for it. Ready to vomit at a moment’s notice is perhaps more accurate. The Soltryce Academy is tricky. He’s been back there a few times in recent weeks, for interviews and preparation, and each time, it’s felt like walking through a dream of a place the mind could not quite capture properly.

For whatever purpose, Trent has always wanted Caleb - Bren - to follow in his footsteps. Those footsteps feel a touch too literal in those hallways.

“Caleb?” Beau’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “You still with us?”

He shakes his head. "Ja. Entschuldigung. There is a lot to think about."

Veth lowers her glass, frowning. "Nobody threatened you, did they? Because I'll have words with them."

"No, nothing like that." Not lately, anyway. He sets his own drink down on the table. "Just a bit worried, perhaps."

"Worried about what?" Beau asks flatly.

Caleb lets out a long breath, looking down at the floor. Where to begin? He’s worried that everything will go wrong. Worried that he’ll turn up with his clothes on backwards, or spill coffee down the front of his shirt, or trip over his words before the lesson even starts. Worried, most of all, about what comes after.

“I hope that I will not…” He searches for the right words. “I hope that I will be able to serve my students well enough,” he settles on. “The examples I have had were, ah….” Trent Ikithon is not one he wishes to emulate.

Essek frowns. “Carve your own path,” he says. “Someone as brilliant as you are needs no one to emulate.”

“Ja, well, that is fine for throwing together a spell or two, but I imagine the students will need a little more structure.” These are young minds. Any mistakes he makes will stick with them. He, of all people, knows just how much.

“Maybe you could ask them what they want from you,” Yasha pipes up. “You know, make sure you’re doing alright.”

Caleb lets out a long sigh. “Ja, maybe. That is a good idea.” Of course, it also requires that the students in question trust him enough to give him a straight answer.

They sit in relative silence for a moment, working away at their drinks. He hopes Veth doesn’t resent him for stepping on the atmosphere.

“Seriously, man, you’re gonna be great.” Beau knocks back the rest of her drink. “You’re already the best professor I’ve ever known.”

“I do not think the owl counts as a point of comparison,” Caleb deadpans. “Regardless, I will settle for not making a fool of myself for a first impression. That will be difficult enough.”

Beau shrugs, and reaches over to refill her glass. There’s a devious look in her eye that makes him nervous. "So why don't you practice?" she asks.

Caleb looks at her warily. "Practice?"

"Yeah, man." She gestures at the others. "Here's your class. Teach us something."

Before he can object, she’s already begun to pull an armchair toward the coffee table in the center of the room. Soon enough, three more seats have joined it, all on the same side. She throws her arms wide with a challenging grin.

“First day,” she says. “Don’t be late.” With that, she flops down onto the rightmost chair.

Transfixed in bemusement, Caleb watches as Yasha and Veth rush to occupy the next two seats in the makeshift classroom. The Expositor commands a room, it seems.

“Are you comfortable with this?” Essek murmurs as he brushes past as well. “I am willing to be the, ah... wet blanket, if need be.”

Caleb sighs, briefly twining their fingers together and squeezing once before letting him go. “Not comfortable, no, but it’s not a bad idea.”

Someone wolf whistles from the peanut gallery, and Caleb turns a fond glare on them all. All three of them are, of course, the picture of innocence. He shakes his head as Essek settles down primly in the last remaining chair. It’s not exactly the picture of an academic setting, with their glasses of half-finished booze still on the table in front of them and the lot of them draped over armchairs and ottomans.

“Alright,” says Beau, who has not even bothered to put her drink down. She makes a trilling sound that he thinks is probably meant to emulate a school bell. “Hit us.”

"We will be brutally honest," Veth promises. "Which means we will tell you honestly how perfect you are."

"Or if there's anything you could do better," Yasha adds.

Caleb stares back at them. It’s nothing he hasn’t gone over in his own head a hundred times. Even once or twice, to a captive audience of cats. It’s a short class. It will be over before he knows it.

The others look up at him expectantly. Watching him. Waiting. Caleb clears his throat.

"I, ah... feel a bit silly,” he admits.

Without a word, Essek waves a hand, and the familiar faces before him shift to those of strangers.

It’s almost embarrassing how much it helps. Caleb takes a deep breath and lets it out, running through the lesson plan in his head.

"Guten Morgen, class, I am, ah… Professor Widogast." It's the first time he's said that particular pair of words out loud.

"Whoo!" the student who is not Veth shouts.

"Yeah!" the student who is not Beau chimes in.

Caleb gives them a look and straightens his coat. "This is Introductory Transmutation, in room 142, so if you are all in the correct place--"

"Professor?" The student who is not Yasha raises her hand.

"Ah, ja, Miss…"

"Lionett."

Not-Beau slaps a hand over her own mouth and mutters, “Holy shit,” into it.

“Was that too much?” not-Yasha whispers.

“Babe, it was so hot,” not-Beau hisses back.

Caleb clears his throat. "Miss Lionett, do you have a question?"

Not-Yasha seems to suddenly remember her role, and she folds her hands in her lap. "No," she says, "I have to use the bathroom."

Caleb pinches the bridge of his nose as not-Beau bites back a giggle. “Ja, okay, go.”

“Don’t let her go!” not-Veth interjects. “She knew it was almost time for class; she should have gone earlier.”

“Dude, if she has to pee then she has to pee,” not-Beau protests.

Pointedly, not-Essek raises his hand.

Caleb lets himself sigh with relief. “Ja, Master…?”

“Gross, Professor, we don’t need to know about your weird sex dynamics,” not-Beau says.

Not-Essek’s face blooms red, and Caleb presses a hand to his face to hide the same. “You know very well, Beauregard, that it is an honorific.”

Not-Beau shrugs, looking very pleased with herself as she takes another sip of her drink. Not-Essek glares very polite daggers at her before clearing his throat.

“Thelyss,” he answers.

Beau cups both hands around her mouth and boos.

“No, it’s better that he’s honest,” Veth says. “We already know he’s a terrible actor.”

“Herr Thelyss,” Caleb says, raising his voice above the heckling. “Do you have a question?”

Essek leans forward, resting his elbows on the table in a gesture that’s much too endearing. “I wondered what you will be teaching us today, Professor Widogast.”

Caleb tries not to dwell on the way the title hits differently on Essek’s voice, instead straightening up and waving one hand behind him. An illusory chalkboard appears in the air behind him to polite applause from Veth and Yasha. Back on track.

“Well, this is your first day,” he says. “So I know that - Beauregard, please remove your feet from the table - I know that most of your other teachers will be spending time going over the material that you will be covering this semester, but, ah…” What is he meant to be doing with his hands? They feel limp if they’re at his sides, but too formal behind his back and too awkward in front of him. Perhaps he should have a lectern? Somewhere to rest them, or shuffle with papers?

His gaze drifts back to his “students,” who all blink back at him expectantly. Essek inclines his head as though to prompt him on. He clasps his hands in front of his chest, hoping it will do for now.

“Right,” he continues. “Ja, so I thought we would take a look at something more practical to start. We will leave the reading for tomorrow; you have enough of that today.”

He waves his hands again, and behind him, a set of runes and diagrams appears on the chalkboard. Above it is written the word Prestidigitation.

“So, ah, partner up,” he orders. “Introduce yourselves. If there is someone on their own, a group of three is perfectly acceptable.”

“I call Miss Lionett,” Beau shouts, grabbing Yasha’s hand.

“Can I go to the bathroom, first?” Yasha asks.

Caleb gives her an incredulous look.

“I really do need to go,” she says.

He gestures towards the hallway, and she shuffles off. In the meantime, Veth and Essek scoot their chairs closer together. Caleb’s gaze lingers questioningly on Beau, who shakes her head.

“She’s not learning anything tonight, man. Go ahead.”

“Ja, okay,” he says distantly.

It feels silly, explaining the spell to this motley crew. Beau has leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, eyes glassy, clearly not paying an ounce of attention. Essek has produced a piece of paper upon which Veth occasionally scribbles, though the way he periodically nods approval at Caleb’s points betrays his own prior knowledge of the subject. After a few minutes, Yasha returns and attempts to take down notes of her own.

“Is everyone following along?” he asks after a while, knowing it’s a futile question.

“Yep,” Beau lies.

“Hmm.” Yasha hums.

“Perfectly,” Essek says.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” Veth confirms with a wink.

He continues, running them through the various applications one by one. Beau gives him an occasional “uh huh” that he believes not one bit. At one point, he catches Essek take a passing glance at Veth’s paper, widen his eyes, and lean forward to murmur something to her. He isn’t sure he wants to know what that’s about.

“Let’s keep focused, please, everyone,” he reminds them.

Essek waves a hand to signal him to continue. Nothing too scandalous, then. He goes through the final few points, then comes to stop in front of the chalkboard, hands awkwardly clasped again.

“Okay, that is it,” he says. “You have as much time as you require to finish the spell, and when you are finished, I would like one person from each group to demonstrate.”

He gives the others a questioning look. It’s one of the points he’s most worried about. A way to take pressure off some of the slower students could just as easily be a way to unintentionally foster competition and resentment. But none of them objects, so he gives them another nod.

“I suppose we should skip the demonstration portion,” he mumbles.

“I can do it,” Yasha chirps. Without warning, she swings the massive greatsword from her back and sinks the tip into the table, making the others jump. “I made a small mark.”

Caleb covers his eyes with one hand. “Ja, will it go away in one hour?”

Yasha silently places her drink down over the indentation. Caleb sighs. It isn’t as though he has very many guests, anyway.

“I can probably swing producing an odor, for you,” Beau offers. “But I figure you probably don’t want that.”

He ignores her, and instead gives Essek a tight smile.

“Well, would my second group care to demonstrate?”

Beau jerks a thumb in Essek’s direction and fake-coughs to Yasha, “Teacher’s pet.”

Essek ignores her and sits back, fingers working in those little patterns he draws when something has piqued his curiosity. “I believe so,” he says, and nods to Veth.

Caleb raises his eyebrows as all eyes turn to Veth. Though Essek had the courtesy to leave her a halfling, her features and coloring are entirely different - but that wide smile as she stands and rubs both hands together would give her away, no matter the face it was set in. And as Beau swears under her breath, Yasha and Caleb look on wide-eyed, and Essek watches with a smirk, she pulls her hands apart to let loose a shower of sparks.

“You… learned the spell,” Caleb says numbly. He hadn’t imagined any of them were actually paying attention.

“It was an excellent lesson!” Veth replies.

As she takes her seat again, Beau and Yasha give her a smattering of stunned applause. Essek clears his throat pointedly.

“And I guess, maybe, Essek gave me one pointer,” Veth amends with an eye-roll.

“Hey, so your partner system worked,” Yasha points out.

It had. The lesson had worked, the procedure had worked - his teaching had worked. There’s still a little voice in his head reminding him that Veth is brilliant, and an adult, and perfectly capable of learning things like this without even so much as his help - but he can’t deny that it’s his guidance that taught her this particular spell. ‘An excellent lesson,’ Veth had said. In this moment, he’s inclined to believe it might be half true. Caleb realizes very suddenly that he’s beaming.

With a snap of his fingers, Essek dispels the disguises. The soft smile on his face - his real face, and Caleb always misses it dearly when it’s hidden - says he hasn’t failed to notice Caleb’s relief.

“Danke, all of you,” he says sheepishly, waving a hand to vanish the chalkboard.

“Thank you!” Veth says. “For the shiny new spell and for the masterclass in professoring.”

“You were really good,” Yasha agrees. “I’m, uh... I’m sorry about the table.”

He dips his head to hide the way his face is flushing. They exaggerate, the lot of them. But there is something to be said for having friends who will say such things. “Ja, well,” he says, “I am not convinced it will translate to an actual class, but I will hope.”

Beau takes another swig of her drink, wiping her mouth afterwards. “Dude, we were the worst and you still managed to teach somebody something,” she says. “Those kids have nothing on us. You got this.”

He offers her a smile, retrieving his glass from the table as Yasha, Veth, and Essek do the same. He hopes it’s true. He hopes that, separate entirely from his ability to teach them the how of magic, he will be able to keep them safe. That he will be able to keep from passing on any damage he received in his own time in those halls.

He catches Essek’s eye, and the knowing look there puts some of the anxious buzzing to rest. He will be better. He will struggle, most likely. He will stumble, inevitably. But he will give better than he got. He’s been practicing that part for years.

“To Professor Widogast!” Veth shouts, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Professor Widogast,” the others echo, and Caleb smiles.

“To my very good friends,” he replies.

“To the hottest professor the Soltryce Academy has ever seen,” Veth shouts in response, and Caleb nearly chokes on his drink when Essek casually clinks his glass against hers with a nod.

They drink together. Caleb thinks, just a little bit, he might be excited.

-

thanks @peregrintook for reading this over and telling me it wasn't the worst thing i had ever written (in much more generous words than that), and @saturdaysky for catching me red-handed last time i deleted it and being so kind about it 💜

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Exactly What You Wanted

CW: Drunk whumpee, referenced drug use, abuse survivor lashing out, low-level ptsd, rough recovery drabble, some references to dubcon and noncon

Timeline: During the years of Kauri’s Poor Life Choices

“Come on, baby,” Kauri says, in a voice like a deep rumbling purr, tilting his head just right, putting all that heat and warmth he doesn’t really feel into his eyes. He’s a good liar, he’s a great liar, and the booze in his veins and whatever that guy gave him two hours ago make him feel unstoppable. “Take me back.” He pauses, then giggles, and he knows they love to hear him laugh, they always love to hear him laugh.

He can laugh with a knife to his throat, he can laugh with his legs spread, he can laugh when every other trainee would be screaming, if they were in his place.

Jake, though, Jake doesn’t like the laugh. He doesn’t like the heat in Kauri’s eyes. He doesn’t like the voice, or the head-tilt, or any of it. He just sets his jaw, looking around the bar as if checking for witnesses, and Kauri can’t stop laughing at how comically serious he is. 

“Oh my god.” Kauri giggles again, puts his hands over his mouth. The bar is spinning around him, the colors are liquid bleeding into each other, he can feel the air move over his skin, like someone touching him. “You look like you ate a lemon.”

“I have class tomorrow, Kauri,” Jake says, voice sharp and flat somehow both at once, and he grips Kauri by the arm, pulling him towards the exit. A few of the guys at the table Kauri was sitting at boo loudly at the loss of Kauri’s sparkling brilliance - or maybe just at losing the way he’d been sitting in their laps one by one just to feel their arms around him. “I don’t mind taking you home-”

“Not my hooooome,” Kauri singsongs, but he lets himself be pulled. Jake’s hand on his arm feels nice. All of it feels nice, all touch, anyone’s hands mouth whatever they want on him, it’s nice. 

Means he’s wanted.

Means he’s real.

Jake exhales, rubbing his free hand over his face. He looks tired, doesn’t he? Kauri can suddenly see those dark circles under his eyes, the way his hair is all mussed up from a pillow. 

“I woke you up,” Kauri says as they leave, the stale heat and booze-smell from inside the bar giving way to cooler, fresher air outside. He lets Jake pull him down the sidewalk, looking up at him. He nearly walks into someone going the opposite way, until Jake pulls him to the side. “You, you were asleep when the phone rang.”

“Yeah,” Jake says roughly. His shirt’s on inside-out - Kauri hadn’t noticed that before, either. He must have rolled out of bed and changed out of his pajamas without even taking time to check. 

Kauri called for a ride and Jake didn’t waste a second.

“My car’s a few lots down,” Jake says, not looking at him as they walk. Kauri hums, taking in the beauty of the streetlights with their halos like angels hovering over the road, lighting the sidewalk. Someone calls his name and Kauri waves, trying to go give her a hug, but Jake’s grip on his arm stops him. It stops him, and makes his heart beat faster. “If we hurry, we can get back by 3, I can sleep til 6:30 if I pay for parking tomorrow instead of taking the bus.” He sounds like he’s already worked this all out for himself, and maybe he has. Maybe he talked through it the whole way here.

Kauri thinks of Jake talking to himself, planning out his day at a stoplight, and starts laughing again. Once he starts laughing, he can’t stop. They pass a small park, a kind of courtyard between two businesses, and Kauri puts up a hand, collapsing onto a bench. He can’t stop the giggling bubbling up out of him.

Jake all serious-faced, checking his phone, I can be asleep by 3:30, I can do this, I can do that, his whole planned life and his classes and Kauri is drunk at a bar and he’s high at a bar he did some stuff with a guy in a bar and he’s calling for a ride back from the bar-

“Kauri, come on.” Jake’s voice is weary, not just tired, not just sleepy, but exhausted. By the night, and by Kauri himself. “I don’t have time, I have to go to sleep.”

“You’re as stupid as I am,” Kauri says when he can get control of himself enough to speak, and there’s still laughter edging his voice, slightly breathless. “You know that? You’re a fucking moron just like me. Doing this. You’re so fucking stupid, we’re both so fucking stupid, Jake.”

“Kauri, you’re not stupid. I’m not talking about this here with you-”

“Why do you do this? Huh?” Kauri shakes his head, sweaty black curls sticking to his forehead in a sudden chill as a breeze ruffles them. He can feel his hair at the back of his neck, too, pressing there. Not the weight of a collar, but a memory of one anyway. “Why do you answer when I call?”

Jake swallows, rubs at his face again. “Because I want to-”

“No. No, that’s not it. No, you answer because I’m your fucking... your charge, right? Your ward. Because you feel sorry for me.” Kauri giggles, but there’s no real humor in it now. “I’m pitiful.”

“It’s not like that. You’re in pain-”

“Oh, shove your fucking psych-talk, Dr. Stanton.” Kauri shakes his head, leaning his back against the metal curve of the bench, looking straight up. In the city there are no stars, only a faint glow of lights making even the night sky just a little orange around the edges. “That’s what it is, right? You feel sorry for us, so you get to be the big hero, and we’re the pretty little pets grateful for whatever crumbs of mercy you throw-”

“Kauri. Stop it.” Jake’s voice snaps, and he leans in closer, and Kauri breathes in the fear that hearing an angry male voice lights in him, lets it spark his nerves with the booze and the everything else already there. “I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for anyone. Okay? Get up, we’re going home.”

“It’s. Not. My. Home.” Kauri meets Jake’s eyes this time, his own a sparkling, crackling blue flame, and Jake’s stony silent ocean, nearly gray in the darkness. “It’s not. You like this, huh? You like getting to show up and save the damsel in distress? Yeah?”

“Kauri, I would give anything to be fucking asleep right now-”

“But you didn’t. You got right up when I called, and that’s why you’re as stupid as I am. I’m brainless because they beat all my brains out of me, Jake - beat and fucked and drugged ‘em all out, left me all sweet and pretty and pointless for whoever paid the price - why are you stupid? Huh?”

Jake’s jaw works. “Kauri-”

“You’re stupid because you think I’m gonna stop being like this. You’re stupid because you think I can get better.”

“You can-”

“No, I can’t. I like me this way.” Kauri snorts, looks down his hands, but they’re shaking a little, and he doesn’t like that. He can’t feel them shaking but he can see them shaking. 

“I don’t think you do,” Jake tries, but his voice is getting ragged along the edges, and Kauri knows he’s pushing too far but he can’t stop himself now. “I think you want to get better and you just need more time.”

“Time?” Kauri laughs, and people walking by look over at them briefly, at the mess on the bench and the big tough man leaning over him. Kauri gives a little wave, I see you eavesdropping, assholes, and they hurry past. “Maybe this is fucking it, huh? What you see is all that’s left of me. What do you do then?”

Jake stares down at him. “I keep coming to pick you up anyway.”

“Oh, you’re just the best. Huh? The absolute pinnacle of fucking manhood. Jake Stanton, guardian angel and patron saint of the fucked-up messes that fall on your doorstep,” Kauri sing-songs, clapping his hands together in a mockery of prayer, eyes rolling back to the sky. “At least I’m nice to look at, huh? Got that going for me. I mean, it’s pretty much all I’ve got going for me, good fucking looks and pretty mouth and my tongue knows how to do that thing-”

“Kauri-”

“Used to be popular, in training,” Kauri says, leaning forward now, licking at his lips. Like Jake is the prey this time, like Kauri for once isn’t the one being held down but the one doing the holding. “Used to be a favorite. Only one way you get to be anyone’s favorite in training, Jake, and it’s not by being smart. Face it, Stanton, you got a hopeless case on your hands, you’re a big saintly perfect hero getting in your car after midnight to get your chaste savior rocks off with a fucking whore who won’t stop, who can’t stop, who will never get any better than this-”

“Kauri, for the love of God, stop it!” Jake’s voice raises finally, and Kauri flinches back against the bench. Adrenaline pulses all at once through his veins, heart racing, and he feels a mix of terror and a mean, cruel, small victory. 

Made him mad. I made him mad. Now he’ll be just like everyone else. Now he’ll hurt me. Now he’ll see why Owen had to.

But Jake doesn’t get closer, doesn’t shove a finger in Kauri’s face, doesn’t grab him by his shirt or his arm or his hand, doesn’t slap him doesn’t hit doesn’t scream. All he does is sigh, and look away, down the street in the direction he must have left his car. His shoulders shift. Kauri can see the anger in him, but it doesn’t rise, it isn’t wielded. It... fades, after a second, and leaves behind a weary look. An emotion Kauri can’t read. “Kauri. I’m not doing this. I’m not having this fight, not this late, not now. If you want to argue this in the morning, fine, but... god. I need to go home, okay?”

“Then go home,” Kauri says. He feels tears in his eyes, suddenly, and he can’t understand why. “Leave. No one’s stopping you.”

“You called me to come get you,” Jake says, but he knows where this is going, Kauri can see it in the way his shoulders slump, in how his hand moves into his pocket to dig his keys out. “Just come get in the car, okay? If you want to argue all the way home, it’s fine, but-”

“I already told you it’s not my fucking home. Go, Jake. I’m sorry I called. I won’t call you again.”

“Yes, you will.” Jake looks at him, an expression of almost comical confusion and hurt, and Kauri’s heart aches. “You will, right?”

But he sets his jaw. “No, I won’t. Don’t worry, I can handle myself.”

“Did you call me out here just to start a fight, Kaur?” 

Kauri doesn’t know how to answer, because he hadn’t, but now that he has started a fight he doesn’t want to admit it was an accident. He just swallows back the apology that tries to find its way out, forces it down. He sits back against the bench and shrugs, crossing his arms in front of himself. 

The silence draws out. 

As though the silence in itself said something - and maybe it did, really - Jake nods, finally, and pulls his keys out from his pocket. “Fine. I’m sorry it went this way tonight. Please... please call me.”

Kauri doesn’t answer, because if he opens his mouth, he’ll apologize for doing this, he’ll beg Jake not to hate him for it, and he can’t do that. He doesn’t know why, but there’s a rock in his mind blocking him from taking the first step to mend the break he made.

“Get some sleep, Saint Stanton. Maybe I’ll be pathetic enough to call you in the morning. We can go back to pretending you give a fuck about who I am as a person and not just as the little rescue who needs you. Make up for whatever fucked you up before that makes you want to work with us.”

That hits home. Kauri sees Jake wince, sees his hurt feelings written all over his face. Sees Jake consider arguing, give up. Sees the second Jake decides to stop trying.

That’s right. Stop trying. I’m not worth it. I don’t deserve you.

Kauri tries to feel that sense of victory from before, but all he feels now is cold - and as Jake turns and walks away, the cold slips from his heart into his fingertips, all the way down to his toes.

Cold, and alone.

“Congratulations,” He whispers to himself, watching Jake’s back as he walks away, until he turns a corner and is gone. “Good job, Kauri Grant. You got exactly what you wanted.”

Now all he wants is to take it back.

-

Tagging: @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @orchidscript @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @wildfaewhump @whumptywhumpdump 

[sunnypogue]

rafe plays college hockey (headcanon)

for all y’all who requested college hockey rafe. i’m just tryna manifest something over here.

warning: cursing, drinking. the sunnypogue special.

y’all met because of hockey.

okay actually y’all technically met because of your 8 am american lit seminar, but the only reason y’all spoke to each other was because of hockey

it was 7:57 am on a Thursday, you had a hangover from your weekly wine wednesday event (which always devolved into walking two streets over to your favorite bar, ordering a round of shots, and getting absolutely shitcanned), and your big ass mouth got you in trouble when you sat down.

“we have a hockey team?” you whisper-yelled, nudging your equally hungover friend as you pointed towards the sweatshirt in front of you

your friend laughed as the guy in said sweatshirt turned around (and his friend next to him, also wearing a UAH HOCKEY hoodie). “your reading comprehension is off the charts.”

you gaped, half embarrassed, half enraged - “okay, well don’t blame me for being surprised - it’s alabama for christ sake.”

“we’re like the token school in the south with a hockey team - how did you not know that?”

you, refusing to back down, argued with him until your professor came in - he got the last word, “alright, well we have a game tomorrow night. might be time for you to branch out and try new things outside of whiskey row.”

(you waited until he turned around before flushing and quietly asking your friend if you still smelled like booze - her answer was an unequivocal yes.)

anyways, that’s how you found yourself at a hockey game, alone, in huntsville, alabama, on a warm october night.

you were NOT dressed for the occasion (fully planning on leaving at whenever it was they took a break to meet your friends at whiskey row) rocking a little flowy halter and high waisted flares - instantly freezing your ass off as you sat on a bleacher towards the back.

he caught your eye immediately, one of the taller ones on the ice, “cameron 19” sitting on his broad shoulders, bucket loosely clasped as he skated around the ice

the game started quickly, and despite your shivering, you rather enjoyed yourself, picking up the cues on when to cheer (this crowd LOVED it when the players checked each other) & when to boo (literally whenever the refs breathed) - it was fast, and fun, and that asshole from your lit class? he was GOOD.

you didn’t even realize you had stayed the whole game until the buzzer sounded, signaling a UAH win. the boys on the ice were hanging around, chatting with local fans - you pocketed your phone (which was blowing up with texts from your friends, wondering where you were) and mustered up the courage to go say hi to the guy from your class

he skated up towards the glass as he saw you descend down the bleachers - grinning and gesturing to shift over to the empty bench, where you wouldn’t be obstructed.

you hugged yourself. “good game, I guess.”

his tongue slid over his teeth before he smiled one hand holding his helmet, the other pushing his sweaty hair back. “you guess?”

you huffed. “I mean, I don’t know, it was my first hockey game and it was really fast and really cold and I didn’t know what the fuck was going on but...yeah. it was good.” you paused, before looking up at him through your lashes. “you were good.”

you rolled your eyes as you watched his chest puff up - men - before you continued, “well, I gotta go...I’m freezing my tits off in here. but thanks for the kinda-invite, I guess.”

you started to turn, when his voice called out “hey! you know, we have a game next week. same time - consider this a formal invitation.”

and that’s how you found yourself at your second-ever hockey game, dressed slightly more appropriate (although the girls were still perky - had to show a lil something), cheering rafe on (you finally got his name after he asked you for your number after class) as he sped down the ice like a wrecking ball, slamming opposing players into the boards, cross-checking when the refs weren’t looking his way.

you were dying - how had no one told you how hot this sport was? you actively had to stop yourself from biting your lip every time he hit someone.

and then he scored - and you were a goner.

after the game, you went to meet him (per his instructions) outside the locker room, friends in tow

“must have been your lucky day, ladies, this guy never goes bar down!” a guy you knew as “top” yelled, arm hooked around rafe, who was a little red in the face.

“gotta show off for your fan club, huh cameron?” a voice crowed from just inside the locker room.

“shut up, kelce.” he yelled, pushing the door shut, before turning your way. 

you gulped, looking up as he towered over you in his skates. “hey, uh, thanks for coming girls.”

your friends giggled, offering their congrats, before gracefully bowing out - “come meet us at whiskey, babes!”

you blushed. “you had a great game. and, uh, a great goal. y’all call them goals, right?”

he laughed, tugging on his gear. “yeah, we call them that. thanks again for coming. who knew you had two hockey games in you?”

you smacked him on the arm, before giving him a coy smile. “hey, after that performance, I think I have a couple more in me.”

he couldn’t ask you fast enough to come grab a bite to eat with him. - “I’ll be out in like, 10...like 8 minutes.” he said, already heading towards the door to the locker room. “just wait - wait here.”

(he was showered and changed in 7 minutes - you were impressed.)

he took you to a local mexican place, known for their beeritas and carne asada tacos - y’all sat there for three hours, getting to know each other.

(you learned he was from the outer banks, fell in love with hockey because of his mom’s dad - a huge rangers fan - and ended up at UAH because it was the only school that recruited in north carolina. he had two sisters - one he tolerated, one he adored - and had a pipe dream of making it to the show one day)

he offered you his sweatshirt (the same one that you had made fun of, that one morning) and drove you home (his huge hand spanning the width of your upper thigh, a light, possessive grip the whole ride)

you kissed him twice (once in the car, soft and sweet, and once on your front porch, where he pinned you to the wall and slipped his tongue into your mouth, long and slow, biting your lip when you finally went to pull away) and spent the rest of the night curled up in your bed, still wrapped up in his warm hoodie, thinking about him.

you kept thinking about him the whole weekend, exchanging texts (some naughty, some nice) & FaceTiming once (you were hammered in the whiskey bathrooms, whining about missing him - he laughed, before reminding you to be a good girl)

it wasn’t until your tuesday 8 am when you saw him again, chest going all warm at the sight of him (rocking a patagonia instead of his usual hockey hoodie, which was laying at the foot of your bed)

he offered you a wink as he walked in, making his way over to his seat, before turning and sliding something on your desk

it was a magnet, with the UAH hockey 2020-21 schedule on it, his face one of the centerpieces. you giggled.

“hey, didn’t know if you had heard, but UAH has a hockey team - wanna come to a game?”

[cloud9in]

Encounter (Mc x Veronica)

Summary: Veronica goes out for drinks one night and finds herself in a situation where she needs saving. Good thing Bea exists right?

This fic was highly inspired by my boo @fundamentalromantic. Thank you so much for the idea and I hope you enjoy it.

Word count: 2,300

Warnings: Violence, implied sex, but 80% banter 

Tags: @samanthadalton @satrinadia @clowneryme @thedaft1 @alccaddsccup @penda-bear (tagged some people who I thought would like to read)

 A day before moving into Belvoire, Veronica decided she should get a feel of the area. New York was far different from the usual quietness of her small hometown in California. But on the bright side, the vlogger would get a ton of content for her Youtube channel in the buzzing city where people never sleep. The first few days of exploring involved bar hopping and recruiting Chloe to help her film in Soho and Chinatown for beauty week. Poppy took part in Veronica’s tour as well, and on Thursday the girls decided to check out the newest night club that opened up.

 Veronica stepped out of the car in a sparkly thigh-length dress with a slit, and black Louboutin heels. It definitely caught the attention of people standing outside the club, a few guys even attempting to approach her in their drunken state. Chloe basked in the attention, flirting with a blonde-haired guy who was clearly overdressed (in her eyes). Poppy dragged Chloe with her and the three girls walked swiftly past the long line of people and up to the bouncer. It didn’t take much effort to have him open the door for them, being as they were the three hottest people on the block, but Veronica also did have a killer reputation at just about any place she stepped foot in.

 An hour into partying and Veronica held her phone up as her livestream watched them all do a round of colorful tequila shots. The vlogger definitely felt the warm buzz of booze swimming through her veins as her muscles started to relax. New York was the place to be right now and more eventful than all of the years she lived in Cali. Veronica was excited to continue her career and studies in a place like this, but her peaceful thoughts are quickly cut off when someone approaches her, the smell of cheap alcohol invading her senses.

 “What’s a tigress like you doing in a raunchy place like this baby?” Veronica rolled her eyes at the hideous effort of flirting by a man who reeked of “just got divorced and into younger women”. His friends (who were probably part of the same club) seemed to laugh around him, encouraging the unwanted behavior. She shook her head and turned away from him in her chair. Don’t let some idiots ruin your night V, have some fun.

 She immediately stiffened when he wrapped his arms around her from behind, the wet feeling of his alcohol soaked beard grazing against her cheek. Veronica  jerked up abruptly, shoving the man away from her and placing her arms up in defense. “Get the fuck off of me.” 

 At this point people started to stare at them, Poppy and Chloe already standing by the Zeta’s side with anger. Veronica had left her phone on the table but the stream kept going, capturing the voices of patrons in the bar getting increasingly louder. The bearded man watched her with a predatory look on his face, well aware of the crowd that was forming around them. He grunted and turned away after realizing he probably couldn’t take on three women at once, atleast not in the way he imagined. Chloe scoffs loudly, crossing her arms, “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re scared of us. Pathetic piece of garbage.” 

 Yeah....bad idea Chlo.

 When he whipped around to face them, Veronica finally noticed just how large his muscles were, and how they were straining against his shirt. Oh shit. 

 “What did you say to me bitch?”

 Veronica shot a nasty glare at Chloe before facing the stranger once again, her arms slightly trembling. “Look, let's just forget all of this and move on with our night. Don't mind my friend...she’s just..” Veronica leans closer, mocking a whisper, “it’s that time of the month.” The guys laughed at her comment and she silently breathed a sigh of relief, hoping this would make them back off. The last thing Veronica needed was to get her ass handed to her on live, with thousands of people watching. Poppy stood there eyeing the men, her hand already on the tip of her phone, ready to speed dial her dad, or the cops...or her therapist if things went awry. 

 Chloe sneered at Veronica, her awful balance making her stumble as she stepped closer to the men. She clearly had too much to drink. “Oh please, I’m not sorry for anything that comes out of my mouth, even if it includes vomit!” She points a finger in their direction, “give me your best you motherfuc- mmh!”

 Poppy clamps one hand straight onto the blonde’s mouth before she can spit out any more profanity. Her face a mixture of annoyance and fear as the men start to lose their smiles. Veronica can see the bearded man getting ready to lunge at her and her flight or fight instincts seemed to kick in at the last second. She dodged the hand that tried to grab her, but he caught her leg as he was spent sprawling down on the ground from something behind. She yelped and kicked free of his hold before catching the gaze of a woman who stood a few feet away from her. Their eye contact was immediately broken as the stranger glared down at the man, “hands off the lady.”

 Two men from the group with buzzcuts tried to grab hold of the brunette’s arms but she spins easily and kicks one right in between the legs, making him fall in pain. The other guy tried to knock her down from behind but she locked his arm in an odd and excruciating position, “do you really want to do this?” His persistence led her to pull on his elbow, eliciting a scream from the man until he surrendered and scurried away, along with the rest of their crew.

 The brunette swiftly kicks the bearded man in the abdomen after seeing him trying to get up, “stay down you asshole.” 

 She wipes a trickle of sweat from her forehead and huffs out, “I’ve wrestled pigs bigger than these guys, but damn that was a workout.” Unbeknownst to the woman, it was all caught on tape and would be everywhere, including Belvoire’s hottest gossip blog the T. But she doesn’t have to worry about that because she doesn’t go there, right?

 Veronica gapes at the girl who single handedly became her hero, in tight leather pants. The curly-haired woman noticed the speechless expression on her face and smirked. “Well if I were you guys, I’d leave this place before the cops miraculously show up.”

 “Somebody should call the police! These- these bimbos tried to kill us-”

 Chloe earns another hand on her mouth as Poppy starts to push her towards the exit, “Oh yeah the only bimbo here is YOU, go and sit in the car before you end up in a jail cell.” 

 Veronica turns away from the chaotic scene and notices that the brunette has gotten closer to her. She can feel her throat starting to heat up, and it was enough to take her mind off what just happened. The Zeta girl tries to take a step and immediately feels her heel slip sideways, but the woman captures her hands and steadies her before she can fall. “Woah- careful there. Maybe we should walk outside? This club is starting to get crowded.” 

 They step around the man sprawled out on the floor. Yeah someone will probably come get him, no worries. Veronica lets her lead the way until they both step out to the curb. The brunette helps her sit down on the edge of the sidewalk before taking a seat next to her. “You know, I can’t keep living life without knowing the name of my savior.” 

 The mystery girl barks out a laugh as she siddles closer to her. She holds out her hand, hoping that Veronica would grab it, “Bea, Bea Hughes. And you?”

 Veronica stares at her wide-eyed, a not so sarcastic gasp escaping her lips, “You-you don’t know who I am?”

 “...Should I?”

 Bea scrunches her eyebrows in confusion before snapping her fingers, “Oh wait! You’re a Kardashian..!” That earns her a hard smack to her leg but she can only laugh teasingly. 

 “I think that was the most disrespectful thing someone has ever said to me....You’re very lucky you’re cute. Oh and it's Veronica.”

 Bea bites her lip shyly, “You’re too beautiful to be one of them...Veronica. And you definitely look all real to me.”

 “Okay if you’re trying to seduce me, this is NOT the way to go Hughes.”

 They both bust out laughing and Veronica wraps her arm around Bea’s, letting herself sink into her side. “Thank you by the way...I mean, not like I couldn’t handle it myself.” She shrugs and looks down at their entangled arms, squeezing tighter, “I owe you one.”

 “You don’t owe me a damn thing Veronica. I’m just grateful I was there as well. This ain’t the first time those goons have harassed women in the area.”

 “Judging by that southern accent and fighting skills, I’m guessing you’re not from here?”

 Bea smiles down at Veronica, studying her bright hazel eyes and luscious lashes. “No I am not, but….if you want to know more about me, how about over a drink? If you want to.” 

 The Zeta girl laughs softly, nudging her, “Oh so you do know how to flirt Hughes. Let's do it! But um..it might be a little difficult to do that because my heel is broken.”

 Bea peers down at her stilettos which seemed to be way past 7 lives now and smiles to herself. In one swift motion she scoops Veronica up in her arms bridal style. The vlogger gasps in surprise before wrapping her arms around the brunette’s neck. “Our problem seems to have disappeared already. And you are incredibly light like a feather.” Bea teases the Zeta, lifting her in an up and down motion.

 “That’s because I’m 40% alcohol right now, but do keep me in your arms, perfectly convenient for me.”

 “You mean I get to carry a stunning woman in my arms free of charge? This must be heaven..”

 “Okay Ms. Flirt, keep walking I’ll direct you where to go.”

 Bea fought the urge to tease her about trying to be dominant but the voices of Poppy and Chloe caught their attention. She approached the car where Chloe sat…wailing hysterically..?

 “I don’t want to go to prison! Don’t let them take me Poppy please!” The blonde grabs Poppy’s dress and doesn’t let go, desperately looking around. When Bea finally stops in front of them, Poppy looks over at the two women and rolls her eyes, clearly fed up.

 “Poppy what the hell is happening with Chlo?!” Veronica breathes out, even though this is the last place she wants to be.

 “Chloe thinks I called the cops on her and she said she doesn't want to sleep on a concrete bed with two other women in a prison cell.”

 Bea raises an eyebrow as she watches the two Zeta girls stare at each other like they’re used to what was happening right now. Veronica gives Poppy a stern look, essentially telling her “leave me alone, I’m trying to get laid”, and the strawberry blonde catches on quickly. She turns away, sighing heavily, “Go, I’ll deal with this. But be at the house tomorrow, it's our first day back.”

 The Zeta grins and blows her a kiss, signaling for Bea to carry on down the sidewalk as she lays in her arms barefoot. Poppy watches them walk away and roll her eyes.

 “So, should I ask?”

 “I think you would appreciate it if I didn’t tell you.”

 The brunette laughs easily, crossing the now empty street. The more she walked the direction that Veronica guided her to, the more quieter it got. “Um… V. Where exactly are we going..?”

 “You’ll see. It’s a secret spot. Kind of like a speakeasy, except it’ll just be the two of us and we can do whatever we want.” Veronica flips her hair seductively, catching Bea’s gaze as she bites her lips and winks. The brunette can feel her heart starting to beat faster, her breath hitching in her throat. She barely can move her gaze off of Veronica’s hazel orbs, her cheeks reddening at the girl’s shameless comment. 

 Lucky for Bea (or maybe not), their night was just getting started, and Veronica would have her blushing again, but this time on her knees. 

 ***

 Veronica saunters confidently into the gates of Belvoire on move-in day, watching as others run around campus with luggages and bags. She sips on the iced latte in her land, eyes glued to her phone on the other hand. She eventually finds Chloe yelling at some assistant girl and immediately turns around, not wanting to deal with it. A woman with a suitcase and a grey Henley shirt approaches the blonde, reprimanding her for her rude behavior. The video of the fight last night appears on the T just as Veronica looks at her phone again. Bea’s leather jacket appears on-screen and knocks the man down. Veronica smirks as she watches the woman take on 3 men effortlessly. People around start to point at the brunette while looking at their phones, and Veronica doesn’t look up until two voices that appear to be arguing, get louder. She nearly drops the cup of coffee in her hands when she sees the same face that was between her legs the previous night. 

 And as Poppy approaches Bea, the brunette catches a glimpse of familiar hazel eyes and ombre colored hair and her eyes go wide. “...Veronica..?” Oh shit.

[bisexualkiecarrera]

4 times JJ complimented you + 1 time you complimented him

JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

wordcount: 3.5k+

warnings: just drinking, smoking and cursing!

1. 

Hanging out in a group of only hot guys and your best friend Kie wasn’t always easy. You loved your friends dearly and normally, any day spent with them was a good one. There were just some days that you just couldn’t bring yourself to have fun when all you could think about was how you looked in your bathing suit. 

You’d explained it to Kiara during a sleepover once when she asked why you hadn’t come in the water that day, opting to stay on the boat in your baggy t-shirt. She didn’t really understand but she tried her best to be helpful whenever she saw you get in your own head after that. John B and Pope were either absolutely oblivious or smart enough to know not to push the subject when you answered their concerned questions with “I’m just a little tired, don’t worry about it.” JJ knew without you ever muttering a word, familiar with the feeling of being uncomfortable showing people your body, even if it was for a completely different reason. 

The day in question was the hottest day of the year so far, and even though you were sitting in the smallest bit of shade the HMS Pogue’s tiny driving console provided, you felt a line of sweat drip down your spine. 

“Babe, come in! Seriously, it’s way too hot for you to not be in the water!” Kiara called as she swam up to the side of the boat, head barely resting on its edge. Your eyes skittered over to the boys, treading water several yards away, but the only one who seemed to be listening to your conversation was JJ. He gave a small encouraging smile before turning back to the two boys splashing each other like children. 

You bit at your lip for a second, mulling over your decision before realizing it really was too hot to stay dry. You mumbled out a “fine” as you went to slip your arms out of your sleeves, “but go back to the boys and I’ll meet you over there.” Kiara gave you a wide smile before pushing off the boat, swimming gracefully back towards the group. 

You shed your shirt quickly and got in the water, trying your hardest to make as small of a splash as possible. You sink your head under the water, wetting your hair as you make your way towards your friends. You take a look at Pope now floating peacefully on his back and make eye contact with a smiling John B. “Hey, little minnow. Nice of you to join us.” You roll your eyes fondly at the nickname, leftover from when you were kids. Back before you the world taught you to be self conscious, it was nearly impossible to get you out of the water and back into regular summer clothes, and so your fishy nickname was born.

You wink at JB before swimming quietly towards Pope, who still had his eyes closed as he faced the sky. You get close before stilling for a second, letting the waves settle around you. You lean in towards his ear and let out a “boo!,” sending the boy flailing. The three others laugh off to the side as you and Pope begin a splash fight. Not long after, JB can’t help but join in, followed by Kie. You take this as an opportunity to wade over to JJ, who’s looking at you with pride mixed with something you can’t quite place. “What’s the look for, J?” He takes a second to look over your face again, brow furrowed slightly in confusion. 

He shrugs a little as he answers, meeting your eyes. “You just look really pretty like this, all happy and back in the water.” You feel heat unrelated to the temperature cover your face as your eyes dart back to your friends, Kie now hanging on Pope’s back. 

“You’re just glad there’s finally someone who can beat JB in a race in the water.”

2.

A movie night at the Chateau just isn’t complete without an all-out pig fest, food scattered on every counter and table. Kie is generous enough to supply you all with enough fries from The Wreck to last a lifetime, and Pope brings along some ice cream, but always the cheap kind that his dad is willing to part with. John B mans the grill, making you all hot dogs and cheeseburgers while JJ provides the bud and whatever beer he can steal out of his fridge or convince his cousin to buy for him. Over the years, he’s also claimed the spot as your assistant, hovering over your shoulder as you move around the Chateau’s already cramped kitchen making brownies. 

It’s been years that you’ve been making what you call “kitchen sink” brownies for you and JJ and JB. They appear at every birthday and holiday and whenever someone is especially sad. They’re really just boxed brownies with whatever snacks you can find thrown into the batter, but JJ loves to be the one who gets to crunch up the toppings and sprinkle them, and you figure that the world owes JJ Maybank every second of happiness he can find. Tonight, the search through your kitchen at home proved especially successful, coming away with not only chips and pretzels, but also mini oreos and a pack of m&ms. 

JJ walks around the counter to see your finds spread out on the counter and his jaw drops. Your giggle tears his eyes away from the assortment and he raises one eyebrow in question. “You’re sure your parents are cool with you taking all this stuff?” The question makes you laugh, and you lean in like you’re about to tell JJ a secret.

“If I’m gonna be honest,” you drop your voice to an almost-whisper, “I think my mom bought extra snacks this week just for this.” A small smile appears on his face, and if you hadn’t known him for so long, you would have no clue that there was a little sadness behind it, thinking of his own parental situation in comparison to yours. “C’mon, J. Batter’s done, pan is greased. All I need is your supreme topping skills.” 

What seems like forever, but in reality is only 30 minutes, passes by before you slip back into the kitchen to take your brownies out of the oven. The raggedy oven mitt JB leaves on the counter for you is barely hanging on by a thread so you grab the extra cleaning rag to wrap around your covered hand for protection. The second the pan touches the oven, JJ is there behind you, looking over your shoulder. You turn to him, eyebrows raised in scolding as his hands fall to your hips. You place your hands on the plane of his chest and push gently backwards, shaking your head. “I’ll put a five minute timer on. Go sit, you know they’re too hot right now.”  He allows you to guide him back to the couch before you pull out your phone and set the alarm, pulling you to settle into his side. 

The timer goes off and JJ jumps so quickly it genuinely startles you. You all share a chuckle at how fast his feet moved, and in no time at all, he’s back next to you, a brownie on a paper towel in each hand. He extends one out to you and you gladly take it. “Hey, man, thanks for getting me one too, really thoughtful of you,” John B says as he makes his way to the kitchen to cut one for himself and Kie and Pope. JJ’s mouth is already full of brownie and there’s a smug smile on his face as he swallows. He shouts a “yeah, of course, buddy!,” after your friend’s retreating figure before turning to you. 

“You know these brownies are ring-worthy, right? Like, SO fucking good I’m considering proposing right now.” 

You giggle at the statement as crumbs fall from his lip. Your only answer is “JJ, you know you did half the fucking work, right?” He laughs at your response and wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Guess that makes us both wifey material!”

3. 

By far, your least favorite part of your friendship with JJ is tending to his various cuts, bumps and bruises. Between JJ’s general recklessness, his ongoing beef with Rafe Cameron, and Luke Maybank himself, it felt as though you spent every other day standing between his knees as he sat on your bathroom counter. This time, a particularly heated run in with the kooks had thankfully left JJ with nothing but a busted lip, bloody knuckles and an adrenaline high. His mouth was running a mile a minute, recounting every step of the fight despite the fact that you’d witnessed it all first hand. 

“Did you see the look on Rafe’s face when he hit the ground? Absolutely unreal!” You let out a frustrated huff as he waved his hands wildly, not noticing your own hand outstretched to grab his. 

“Yeah, J, I saw but please give me your hands. I need to put antiseptic on.” Your voice is a little pleading and he quiets at your request, laying his wrist in your hand and watching your face as you get to work. You dab at the cuts with a soaked cotton ball, and it doesn’t escape either of you that JJ no longer flinches at the sting. Once you’ve moved on to the other hand, his stare intensifies as you carefully move his rings around to make sure there’s no hidden nicks underneath them. When it’s time for you to move onto his face, he places his hands gently in his lap and lets you inspect his face closely, turning it from side to side with a finger at his chin. Your demeanor lightens a little when you’ve decided the damage is as minimal as possible. “Really glad you managed to keep Rafe away from the money maker this time. Well, mostly.” You punctuate your point by pressing the cotton to the tear in his lip and the pressure makes him hiss. You pull your hand away and grab the vaseline, smearing a small amount over the cut as gently as possible. “You really should ice that, J. Keep the swelling to a minimum.”

You realize a little belatedly that he hasn’t taken his eyes off your face the entire time you’ve been working and your eyes raise to meet his. The look in his eyes is a little confusing and a little startling, and his voice is gentle when he says “Thank you for patching me up. You always take the best care of me.” 

You let out a deep sigh before patting his leg gently and moving towards the door. “I think I could find work as a school nurse with all this experience you’ve given me.”

4. 

A boneyard party used to be your absolute favorite way to blow off steam on a Friday night. The sand, music, booze and weed were the easiest way to melt away the stress of a long week, but lately, the stress of seeing your best friend sneak off with some random had you absolutely dreading stepping foot on the beach. Most of the time, you had a pretty easy time keeping your less than platonic feelings for JJ at bay. You always rationalized swallowing your emotions down by telling yourself that you both needed each other as a friend way too much to jeopardize that. It was getting harder and harder to listen to your own advice lately, and partly because you weren’t quite sure what he was feeling. He’d been especially affectionate lately, not giving second thought to curling his body around yours on cold nights around the fire. His compliments had become less silly and teasing, and sometimes when he looked at you, it felt like he was staring straight into your soul. 

Tonight, you’d allowed Kie to pick you out an outfit from your closet, not wanting to spend time debating with yourself and getting yourself stressed. She’d picked out a pair of high waisted denim shorts and a cropped white t shirt, topped with a yellow scarf to tie around your ponytail. It was simple enough that she knew you’d be comfortable but cute enough that you’d feel confident. 

Secretly, she’d also seen the way JJ eyes had dragged slowly over your figure when you’d worn those shorts the week prior. Neither of you had spoken to her, or Pope or JB, about your feelings for the other, but they as a group had all witnessed the gentle way you handled each other and had their suspicions that one of you would break soon. She’d driven you to the boneyard, promising to stay sober enough to relocate you all back to the Chateau at the end of the night. She pulled your hand along, heading straight to where she knew your friends would be congregating, just behind the keg. JB and Pope each had a full cup in hand when you approached and JJ had a joint hanging from the side of his mouth. “Gentlemen, let’s get it going,” Kie startled the boys, a giant smile across her face. 

A few hours into the party and a considerable amount of beer later, the realization hit you that JJ hadn’t wandered off to find someone to mack on yet. He’d even turned down the touron who approached him first, despite her tiny skirt and flawless makeup. It had to be some sort of record for him, usually his presence at these parties was fleeting. You thought back to just the week before when you’d watched him lead a beautiful curly-haired girl back to the Twinkie. You’d felt nauseous watching them flirt, his legs parted as he sat on a low hanging branch with her settled between them. Her hands rested on his chest as she stared up at him from under her eyelashes and you had to rip your gaze from the pair when he slid from his perch and wrapped her hand in his. You kept your eyes on the ground as they passed, but like a train wreck you couldn’t help but watch, you were unable to stop yourself from throwing a last glance in their direction as they approached the van. He’d turned to look at her with a sly smile on his face and must have caught your eye over her shoulder. His smile dropped quickly and something looking like an apology crossed his face for a second but when you looked away again, focusing on holding the burning tears in your eyes back, he recovered and smiled back at the girl, pulling her into the spacious backseat. 

Even just the memory had you tense, and JJ felt the uneasiness radiate off of you from his position by your side. He called your name gently so as to not call attention to the two of you and you turned your head quickly, blinking away your thoughts. Your eyes focused on the concerned look on his face. “You alright? Did someone upset you?” JJ’s eyes were already scanning the crowd for who could have possibly upset you and it pulled a small smile to your face. 

“No, J, I’m alright, just thinking. All good now.” His face turned back to you, a small pout gracing his lips. He asks if you’re sure and when you nod in agreement, he turns his attention back to your friends. The two of you watch Pope and John B argue about if Gatorade was actually better for you than regular water or not for a few minutes before you turn back to JJ. “Hey, JJ?” Your voice is small and it surprises the boy beside you to hear you so timid. When his attention is turned on you completely, you start your question. “Is there a reason you turned down that girl before? She was like, stupidly pretty.” You’re finding it a little hard to meet JJ’s eyes as you ask, so you fiddle with the strings on your bracelet instead. 

A small chuckle leaves his lips before he replies with “I got the prettiest girl at the party standing next to me already. Why would I leave?” Your eyes meet his and there’s no humor anywhere on his face and you can feel yourself get hot under his gaze. You’re left speechless for a second before the sound of Kie’s voice pulls you from the moment. You clear your throat and turn back to your friends, mumbling under your breath. JJ replies with a “hmm?” and you repeat yourself a little louder this time, so he can just hear you.

“Kiss ass.”

+1

Somehow, Kiara had managed to convince her parents to allow you to come to Midsummers as her guest and by an even greater miracle, you’d managed to save enough babysitting money to buy yourself an appropriately fancy dress, floor length and blue with pretty flowers embroidered on it. You arrive at the Carreras’ house early in the afternoon to begin getting ready, helping Kie put her hair up with some flowers pinned in. You chose to keep yours mostly down and let your best friend weave some braids in, tiny beads sprinkled down the length of them. Neither of you put on very much makeup, but it was still more than you’d worn in recent memory, and it felt nice to look in the mirror and actually feel pretty and put together. Kie comes up behind you as you look in the full length mirror and wraps her arms around your waist, chin resting gently on your shoulder. “We look fucking good, don’t we?” She giggles and scrunches her nose up as you meet her eyes in the mirror. 

You nod emphatically before turning to face her, a wide smile on your face. “Hell yeah, we do, baby! The lady pogues know how to clean up good!” Your response makes her laugh, head thrown back, and it makes you wish all your friends would be in attendance, despite how much you love girl time with just you and Kie. 

Your dreams of being able to spend the night with all of your friends almost came true, spotting John B on Sarah’s arm from across the room upon your arrival. The night became even sweeter when you saw Pope standing next to his father, but even as the five of you stood together at the edge of the party, people watching and laughing, you couldn’t shake the feeling that JJ was the piece you were missing most. Kiara and Sarah left to make their way to the restroom and Pope was pulled away to help his dad, leaving you and JB standing in the corner. “You should go see him, you know. Skip out early, I’m sure Kie wouldn’t mind.” You turn to look at your friend, confused at his sudden idea. You had a feeling you knew exactly what he was saying, but you waited for clarification, fiddling with the glass in your hand. “JJ is at the Chateau and before I left, he seemed pretty upset that he wouldn’t get to see you in your dress.” 

He holds out the key to the twinkie and your jaw drops a little, and it makes JB chuckle, shaking his head slightly at your obliviousness. It really hits you all at once, exactly what JJ’s recent change in behavior meant. The intense stares, the end of his slew of meaningless hookups, and especially the sincere compliments that you’d been taking as a joke. You knew you had to see him, so you looked up at JB and handed him your glass, taking his keys from him. “Tell Kie where I went, please.” You turned and started to make your way through the crowd and you heard John B’s cheer through the noise of the party, smiling as you reached the door. 

You don’t even bother turning the radio on when you get in the van, the pounding of your heart loud enough. When you get to the front door of the Chateau, you can hear the television on and it takes a second to see JJ’s outline resting on the couch. The front door slams behind you and JJ doesn’t turn right away. “Jeebs, why are you ho-” The question catches in his throat when he turns and sees you in the doorway instead of John B. He breathes out a quiet “wow, hi.” You move towards him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders so that his hands fall at your hips. 

“JB told me you wanted to see me in my dress, so here I am.” You look up at him teasingly as a blush spreads across his cheeks. “Plus, I couldn’t really have any fun at the kook party. The cutest boy in town wasn’t there.” It’s JJ’s turn to be left speechless and it makes you giggle. The sound pulls him out of his trance and its milliseconds before his lips are pressed to yours. You snake your fingers into his blond hair and you feel his hands squeeze at the meat of your hips as your lips part and he licks into your mouth gently. It feels a thousand years before you pull away, resting your forehead against his. “You’re my favorite person, JJ Maybank. I think you always will be.”

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 4

Oh they're at court.

Also she's not a commoner. She's the daughter of a Viscount.

Another Daphne brag moment, but homegirl really got the juice. She's bagging mfs over hand holding and dancing.

Violet dgaf. She's hungry now, damn it!

Oh he's buying jewelry already.

Ooooooh the way she imagines the Duke behind her. Honey yes. That scene was hot.

Too bad she came back to reality.

Hyacinth is my spirit animal.

Lady Whistledown ain't ready to write Simon off yet. She's waiting on the Dukes Hail Mary.

Shit. So am I.

I have never seen someone look so depressed in such an exquisite piece of jewelry. It's like the necklace chokes her. Testament to the acting and script for that though. It truly represents a trap.

Awww Simon is wearing that heavy bag out. I would say poor Simon, but he made this damn bed.

I love Alice and Will. They are the kind of wholesome love I need to keep my heart steady watching this damn show. She's his rider and I love it.

Alice roasting Simon over Daphne. Get. Yo. Girl. Mane.

I always cringe when a man tells a woman to smile.

Poor Marina. Portia is determined to find her the oldest mf. She's playing smart though.

Those damn dingbat sisters.

Maybe Penelope does care.

Well at least the least mean sister got a caller. They're awkward/cute.

Eloise girl, I love feathers in hair. Your one dimensional preaching is wearing me out again.

A boxing match date? I'd be down.

The prince legit seems like a nice guy. And Daphne is trying....but she's CLEARLY hung up on Simon.

Oh look Simon's losing focus on his friend because he's too focused on Daphne and the prince.

Ok mf! Take that shit off and roll them sleeves up. It turns me on too sis!

Oh look at the sweet family talk with the prince. Girl he'd give you any and everything you wanted.

But you and the Duke are just ATE TF UP about each other!

Mondrich for the win!!!!

Oh Benny. You've got a new friend. But what kind of friend? Give me more of this.

Well Anthony is smug and pleased as punch. Simons courtship of Daphne has ended. She has her perfect suitor. And Simon is leaving England to go rake and fuckboy about.

Though Simons hard slammed shot when the prince approached says he's anything but happy.

Violet always worries about the wrong shit.

Hyacinth always wants to know the good shit.

Be Hyacinth.

Oh fuck the prince is ready to propose. That shit escalated quickly.

SIMON!!!!!! Now would be a good time for that Hail Mary.

Good job Anthony. Way to realize that the women in your life have agency over THEMSELVES.

Violet always beating around the damn bush.....but she is still 100% #teamduke

Aw Daphne you're gonna break down snitching on yourself.

If it wasn't real with Simon you wouldn't be so ate up about it, and you would be rocking tf out of that necklace from the prince instead of crying.

There's a reason for the black in her outfit. For Daphne, who is normally all pastel blues, that black is her mourning. It's her 'attempting' to put to death her feelings for the Duke. And also I think mourning the loss if the bond they shared. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But this seems like a very deliberate show with it's details.

Danbury ripping Simon open before she sends him off. Big energy.

She knows everything you thick headed mf. Why won't you just listen?! You letting your rank ass daddy live rent free in your soul.

He's so jaded it hurts.

Ayyyye this Trowbridge party looks like the real deal.

Oh gawd. Marina and the old man.

Mr. Finch and the cheese frock. Jesus who wrote this. I love it

Cressida you have been Daphnes biggest hater all season and now you're mad that she's with the prince. He was never gonna marry yo basket headed ass anyway.

Oooooh shit Simon sees the 'intimate painting' and has 2nd thoughts.

Go. Get. Yo. Girl.......Bitch.

Ooooh Benny's at the new homies spot and it's lit!

Naked models, easels, mingling between the classes. Yes indeed.

2nd sons having fun. Hell yes.

Damn Even Sienna at the ball...as a performer of course.

And Anthony looking tongue tied.

Violet....you need to chill. There take another sip.

Portia trying to shade Lady Trowbridges style is comical. Both of y'all bitches gaudy as hell.

Oh shit Phillipa lost her man.

Wtf is wrong with Lord Featherington?

And wtf are you doing Eloise?

Ayyye she just let her have it. You think servants have the time to be Lady Whistledown? I'm dead.

"Get out."

Ok Penelope with your saucy ass.

Well fuck! You just pushed him right to Marina. You played yourself boo.

Oooh the prince is about to shoot the big shot and Daphne keeps running away.

She done spotted Simon. Its over.

Fuck off Cressida.

Rip that mf necklace off girl.

Simon followed her ass outside.

"Miss Bridgerton." Motherfucker, call her Daphne.

"I came to say goodbye." Man. Go to hell.

Daphne serving those barbs. You not ready to keep playing with her.

Damn, Simon. If you're not gonna give her what she wants, get out the way.

Tell his ass sis.....even if you don't believe it yourself.

Really Simon? You stand there quiet as a mf church mouse whiles she's pleading with you to say something.....then you take off after her once she walks away from your shit

I swear.....men.....yall mfs really do shit like this. Speak up! Or...LET. ME. GO.

She's really cracking on his ass and I'm here for it....but wtf us up with his "I forbid you." Who tf are you to me? I'm glad she ain't playing with his ass.

Ooooh he called her Daphne and grabbed her.

Oh honey this is what fulfillment feels like, isn't it?

He's definitely fulFILLing her all the way up!

Oh shit Anthony caught them.

At least he finally landed some decent blows on Simon.

This RAKE ass mf still won't marry her.

Oh Simon.....for once.....Anthony is in the right and you the wrong. You are really about to die over your fucking daddy issues. Boy bye. Again.

Poor Daphne.

Wait, how did Cressida know she was in the garden?

That can't be good.

At least Benny is having a good time.

Dearest Portia, when you go looking for shit, it usually falls in your lap.

Marina keeps carrying on about Colin and Penelope is crushed.....or scheming....or both.

Aww Penelope let her hurt feelings cause a fight with her bestie. Her jealousy is seething.

Daphne still out here having to educate Anthony....though I get the need for the duel. And he still thinks he's running something.

Ooooh this is why they brought up 2nd sons.....Anthony is prepping Benny to take over. Well Benny, at least you had one good night out.

Colin caring for drunk Violet is parenting goals one day.

Oh great, now yall wanna bring Colin into the shit.

Simon raiding Wills spot for booze was so uneccesarily loud.

So Berbrooke alludes to her dishonor and Simon caves his fucking head in. Simon legit dishonors her and he's just like ,"Kay, guess I'll go get shot now." Someone get this man some therapy.

Oh great Anthony is back at Siennas door with more of his bullshit. Girl. Close that door.

No, not after you've let him in and climbed his torso. I guess y'all fuckin again.

He lost all the money and now he's fucked up.

Her face while he cried, is literally the face of every woman sick of a mediocre man's shit.

Oooh now they're all riding off into battle like the fucking idiots they are.

Colin is so pure.

I knew that Cressida shit would come back.

Well at least Anthony was willing to care for Sienna in his death....but damn mf, treat me right while WE'RE here.

Oh the dramatics of drawing a gun.

Nobody is here for Simon's weak ass apologies and I'm okay with that.

Hurry hurry Daphne.

Daphne down....but she's alright.

Call them idiots just like they are.

Simon still being a hoe about this shit. You really about let her be ostracized because you're a fuck boy.

Ultimate fuck boy line...I can't be with you because I love you too much. Fucking hell.

They do obviously love each other though.

Hold up.......you CAN NEVER, or WILL NEVER give her children. Don't play this like you have a reproductive issue.

So your reason for not marrying her is that you "can never" give her children and you know that's what her heart desires.

You playing with fire, Simon.

I wonder how much shit I let slide with his character just because he's portrayed so well by the phenomenal Regé-Jean Page.

No, I do love Simon's damaged ass. He just makes me so mad.

So the duel resumes......or not.

Daphne said, "Fuck them kids, give me my husband." Or something like that.

Well. This us an uncomfortable arrangement even though both of these idiots are in love.

Simon's evasion will most certainly come back to bite him in the ass.

But I'll be here with my popcorn and tissue, rooting for these cool kids to make it!

[hydroponicjj]

you’re so drunk

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: 6 & 7 from this prompt list! basically just joking with jj while you’re drunk

word count: 1.5k

warnings: drinking, swearing, typos??

a/n: i’m so sorry that this is kinda short. i’ve been trying to write really cute fics but they all turn into shit and this is something that i’m kinda proud of. hope you enjoy <3

                    「 ₊˚.༄ 」

“And that’s when I stuffed it in my mouth. No way he’d be able to see it there.” JJ joked, causing the tourons listening to erupt in laughter.

Every single time that there was a kegger thrown at the boneyard, JJ would tell the same story about how Heyward almost caught him smoking weed in Pope’s room.

Having heard it at least 17 times that night, it was easy to say that you were sick of the story that was exaggerated to gain a bigger, better reaction from the crowds listening.

“I’m going to go get a refill.” You excused yourself, removing the arm that JJ had draped around your waistline.

Nodding his head, he continued to explain the story, “It tasted like shit.” You heard his voice slowly mesh with the countless others at the party as you slowly made your way towards John B.

“The guest of honor.” He saluted, throwing his arms up.

You rolled your eyes, “Actually, the guest of honor is over there. I’m just his significant other.” You pointed, watching as John B’s gaze wandered to JJ surrounded by a group of at least 15 tourists.

“Shit. That’s at least 3 more people than last week.” He observed, reaching for the red solo cup that rested in your right hand, refilling it.

“Yeah,” You sighed, “I need to get drunk to hear him tell that damn story again.”

Looking around, you spotted Kie in a mosh-pit like dance circle. You had to admit; she knew how to blow off steam while partying, an attribute you wish you acquired.

“Thanks,” You grabbed the cup back from JB, taking a sip.

“My pleasure.”

Giving John B one last smile, you approached Kiara. She saw you almost immediately and excused herself from the cluster, “What’s wrong?”

Another amazing trait that Kie had was being able to tell when her friends were annoyed, disappointed, sad. Basically any emotion that wasn’t happy.

You didn’t respond, just gestured to where JJ stood. He had at least 4 more people listening to him than the last time that you checked.

Kie shook her head, “He’s telling that dumbass story again, isn’t he?”

“Yup.” You smiled.

“C’mon.” She grabbed your wrist, dragging you into the swarm she exited seconds prior.

Dancing was something that you didn’t do often, acknowledging that you were awful at it but, at least you had rhythm and Kie’s encouragement.

You downed your drink. You would need alcohol coursing through your veins to help you forget about your surroundings.

“I’m getting another drink, want one!?” Kie screeched, trying to be louder than the speaker that was blasting music mere feet away.

“P-Please,” You called out a response then watched as she navigated through the sweaty bodies.

                    「 ₊˚.༄ 」

Fast forward one hour and you had at least 2 more cups plus a few shots provided by Kie.

“I-I’m like, on cloud nine right now.” You hiccuped, shrugging your shoulders as you laid in the sand next to Pope.

The later it got, the more people filtered in and out of the boneyard. There was still a suitable amount of people, but not nearly as many compared to when the event first started.

“I’ll go get JJ.” You had been talking to Pope for a while and that was the first thing he had said throughout the entire conversation.

“You go do that, bud. I’ll be right here.” You sluggishly replied.

While Pope searched for JJ, you took the time to rest your eyes. Your body was not tired but your eyes were beyond exhausted from walking through clouds of smoke to get to this side of the beach.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you okay?” You shot up instantly, startled.

“Shhhhhh, d-don’t be so loud.” You took a deep breath, “I’m fine, I feel on top of the world.”

“Is she high or drunk?” Pope whispered.

“A mix of both, I dunno,” JJ replied, groaning as he took a seat in the sand next to you.

Pope excused himself from the situation, feeling like he had done his part by letting you blabber on about absolutely nothing for 10 minutes.

“How much did you have to drink?” You rested your head in his lap, looking up at him with the biggest grin.

“Well, I had a little before leaving your meet and greet and then I had like two others with Kie-Kie.” You hummed the chorus of In My Feelings by Drake.

“Meet and Greet?” He questioned.

“Oh and don’t forget the shots.” You added.

“Y/N, stay focused, please. What do you mean by ‘meet and greet’?” He repeated himself.

“Yeah, I was scared shitless that Heyward would notice that I wasn’t speaking.” You mocked, lowering the tone of your voice while throwing your hands up in the air, almost slapping JJ.

“Oh, come on. It’s a funny story, not my fault that people love hearing it. Plus, I don’t tell it that much.” He defended himself, chuckling at your poor imitation of him.

“You told it to the same group of people, twice.” His face turned red, knowing that you had him trapped from the beginning.

“Wait, babe, help me up.” You tapped his shoulder, instantly forgetting about what the two of you were talking about. Inspiration had just hit you like a truck and you couldn’t ignore it.

Walking two feet away, you picked up a bone. It was most likely dragged down by a dog that belonged to a touron.

“I’ve got a bone to pick with you,” You threw the object in his direction, erupting in laughter.

Usually, such a stupid joke would come from him, not you but booze brought out your inner JJ.

“Boo!” He used his hands to amplify the sound, throwing small handfuls of sand in your direction.

“B-babe,” You hiccuped, “Lemme, lemme try again.”

Trotting over to a pile of sticks, you picked up one in your right hand, “Looks like I’m in a sticky situation,”

You cackled, finding the joke hilarious. Again, JJ wasn’t finding it funny, but he gave you the benefit of the doubt, “You’re cute.”

“What can I say except, you’re welcome!” You belted, scaring yourself with your awful singing capabilities.

“Come on, let’s go.” He rolled his eyes playfully, walking over to you, gently wrapping his arms around you so you could walk without losing your footing.

“Wait,” You stopped in your tracks, “Were my jokes really that bad?” You questioned, lip poking out.

“Do you want me to lie or tell the truth?” He joked, turning his head so he didn’t have to see your expression.

“Whatevaaaa.” You scoffed, continuing to walk in the chateau's direction with him.

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Cock in a Box (part 1)

How they convinced me I’ll never know. Well, that’s not true. The allure of free alcohol after dropping nearly $17k on my upcoming wedding certainly helped fuel my willingness to participate in this embarrassing contest.

Without going too far into a back story that I’m sure you guys don’t care about, this past weekend was my bachelor party. I was taken to Atlanta by a group of my good buddies and the 7 of us in total were living it up for a long, 3-day weekend in and out of bars, hotels, and strip clubs. It was our first night there when Kevin heard about a bar with an unusual game: Cock in a Box.

The gist: there’s basically a line of glory holes that you stick your junk through for the audience to vote on which they like best. All participants get 2 free drinks (well, of course; no top shelf stuff) BUT the chosen winner gets free drinks all night, whatever they want.

The downside is that if you’re chosen to be the winner, you have to accept the award so everyone would know it was YOUR dick. Apparently pictures are allowed at this bar. 

With enough liquid courage in us we all reluctantly agreed to give it a go, some of us probably more excited or terrified than the others. I thought to myself, I’ll get two free drinks and some people will have a picture of my dick but no way to link it back to me. I mean, my cock was fine, Sarah didn’t seem to have any complaints, but I knew I was average at best. I assume the crowd will go for the biggest one and I wager one of my buds is packing something bigger. I’d hate to be them. Or would I? I guess I wouldn’t mind a couple extra inches.

Anyway, we got to the bar and it became clear pretty quickly that this wasn’t a bar catering to female clientele. 

“It’s a fucking gay bar, guys!” Brad exclaimed when we got there.

“Well,” Rodger said, “I guess that makes sense. I’ve never really seen a lot of women vying to see a bunch of dicks.”

“That’s not the impression I got from your wife,” Dan joked.

“Oh ha ha ha.”

I spoke the first words of hesitation, “do we still want to go through with this?” It was one thing to be showing my dick to a bunch of female strangers, it was another thing for them to be gay men.

Kevin doubled down, “It’s still free booze. Who knows, someone might even buy me some drinks in an effort to get lucky!”

The group razzed him on that and how not even a troll would find him hot, but I did have to admit he had a point. Our group was, generally, good looking. We’d all taken care of ourselves in the  years following college sports and while some of us packed on a few pounds since the glory days we were all still big. I knew gay guys liked that at least.

“It’s Ben’s big weekend, let him make the choice,” said Mike.

Sean, my little brother, was the last of our group to speak, “I’m not a big fan of this idea either, but if Ben’s in… brother solidarity.”

I leaned into the crap Sarah was always spouting out about ‘live in the moment’ or ‘enjoy the ride of life’ and said, “fuck it. Let’s get some free drinks.”

At the front part of the club, Kevin expressed our interest to participate in the game. It quickly surfaced that we were a bachelor party of straight guys and that seemed to tantalize the person taking covers. He let us in for free!

Once we were inside one of the staff ushered us over near the back of the club and explained what we were to do. Apparently we had arrived just on time as the game starts around midnight on Fridays only.

There were 10 boxes near the back part of a stage where I assumed drag shows or beauty contests or something went on. You could get into them from behind the stage so no one could see which one you got into. They were basically just telephone booths made out of plywood. Not super appealing but I guess did the job.

The staff member said once we were in there the MC would start the show and more or less we’d be told what to do from there. They would narrow down contestants by number, which was painted on the outside of the boxes as well as the inside so we knew what number we were.

The guy checked us all out, salivating, and recommended we play with ourselves a bit when we get into the booth to ‘fluff up a bit.’ That idea sort of grossed me out and I knew I wasn’t going to be winning anyway so I already decided this crowd would be getting a soft, limp anonymous dick in exchange for free booze. 

It’s probably worth noting that all my buddies and myself included are white(ish). I’m not racist, I swear, but at the small Tennessee college I went to there weren’t many people of color. I say this only to demonstrate that I felt like I had a good level of anonymity since it would be my dick against 9 other dicks that probably looked like mine.

The staff guy said to choose a booth when Sean asked where the other 3 guys were. There were 10 booths and we only made 7. “Oh,” he said, “when management heard you seven were together and straight, he decided to make it just you guys.”

We looked at each other and silently decided if we were still okay with this but I guess what does 3 other dudes matter. I guess now we knew one of us would be getting free drinks. That is, if they accepted their win.

We all walked up and into our respective booths. Kevin was beside me to the left and Dan was to my right. The other guys filed in. When I got in and drew the curtain behind me for privacy, I realized that I was NOT in box “3” like I thought I would be but “5.”

I heard Kevin yell, “I guess they randomize the box order too.”

Then Sean called out, “That’s good, I was worried you’d be sad when they talked about how small #2’s dick was and we’d all know it was you!”

Laughter among the guys, including myself, rang out.

In the box, there wasn’t much and not a lot of room. There was the infamous hole on the front side about three and a half feet up. I wondered what shorter dudes would do but then I also saw the wooden blocks stacked up on the side. I guess that’s for them to stand on if they don’t reach the hole.

The hole.

I looked at it timidly. My nerves were starting to climb as I realized what I had signed up for. What we had all signed up for. The plywood had been sanded smooth around the lip of the hole so my fear of splinters was gone but not my fear of the unknown number of gay dudes on the other side eagerly awaiting to look at our dicks. MY dick!

I was starting to second guess this whole thing and chicken out. The guys may not let me live that down. Well, I’m not going first at least.

The music faded out after the end of the song and someone cleared their throat into a mic.

“Gooooood evening, queers, steers, and bears. Oh my! Welcome to this week’s Cock in a Box competition. I’m your host, Anita Gudphuck, and we have a super special treat for you men tonight.”

My palms were getting sweaty.

“For you see, tonight we only have 7 contestants…”

Boos erupted from the crowd along with vocal pleads that they wanted to see more dick. I swear, gay people.

“But the seven we have are… straight guys on a bachelor party weekend!!!”

The original distaste for the limited offering turned into an uproar of cheers and whistles. What’s the deal with gay guys liking straight guys so much anyway?

“But, we’re all in for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if we all agree to play by some secret, sexy rules. Will you all play along?”

More cheers from the audience. What did he mean by ‘secret’ rules?

“Okay, now, no one shout out the secret rules as we don’t want our mystery men to know. Up on screen there, you’ll see what to do.”

There was a few moments of silence and then some laughs, some ‘oh my goods,’ and a ton of applause and cheering.

“Do  you think you can all follow those rules?”

“YESSSS!” the crowd yelled.

“Okay, well then let’s play Cock in a Box! Straight boys back there, are you ready?”

I didn’t want to shout out but I guess none of my buddies did either. Maybe that would reveal us when we had to go out and get our drinks.

“I’ll take silence as a ‘yes, ma’am!’ Now, get your cocks in hand and ready to be judged! I recommend a few pumps and shakes to liven the guy up.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. How did I let Kevin convince me to do this? How did he convince all of us to do this? I undid my jeans and shucked them down my thighs. Looking at the bulge in my boxer briefs I took a deep breath. There’s no way I can do this right? No way any of us could do this, right?

“Okay boys, Let’s! See! Those! Cocks!”

I stood there for a moment, unwilling to be the first in case this was some sort of prank. The seconds felt like eternity.

“Are all you straight boys shy? Or are you just embarrassed by your tiny dicks?”

The audience laughed and started to call out things along the lines of ‘show us what you’re working with.”

I was sure we had all gotten cold feet when the crowd started applauding.

“There’s our first contestant! Ooo and what a nice dick!” Whistles in the audience agreed with her statement.

“Oh and another! And another! That’s three straight boy dongs right there.”

They’re actually doing it. Fucking hell. Well, tipping my metaphorical hat to Sarah’s dumb slogans, ‘when in Rome…’ I reached into my briefs, pulled my dick out and stepped forward, guiding it through the hole. 

Even more cheers through the audience, louder than the others it seemed like. 

“Four, Five! That’s some nice looking -- oo Six!”

“Come’on last guy, don’t be shy. Your friends all took the plunge.”

I wonder who was getting cold feet. I noticed now that there was a mild warmth on my dick which I now wagered was spotlights making sure people got good looks.

A final round of applause, “and there he is. Nothing to be ashamed of there, number 8.”

And just like that, we all had our dicks out to a crowd of gay guys on my bachelor party weekend. I didn’t necessarily want to be on the other side, but imagining the site was ridiculous. A long plywood wall with seven cocks sticking out of it with numbers crudely painted above them.

Dicks of straight men in a gay club, selling out the exposure of our junk for a couple free drinks. This would make a weird story to tell in the future I guess, at least among ourselves. I wasn’t planning on sharing this with anyone else.

Little did I know how weird, embarrassing, and hot the night was going to go.

[matchacloudz]

Lotus Inn

Daniel Seavey x OC (Kora King)

Requested: No 

word count: 1.8k

Masterlist

 Not my gif

With a final groan, the radio cut and the car had finally given up on us. “I told you we should have gotten it looked at” I said to my best friend sitting in the passenger seat. Knowing I was right, all she could do was glare my way and unbuckle her seatbelt. “Yeah, yeah, now help me push this to the side” she said. I put the car into neutral and got out to help her move the piece of shit to the curb.

“You have your CAA card right?” She asked as we started slowly pushing the car, “mom never lets me leave without it” I said. “Man, why did this have to happen? We’re literally in the middle of our trip” she moaned, trying to push the car with me. “Need I remind you, I told you to check what the engine light was all about” I groaned with her. We were barely making any progress, but after a few minutes we finally got the car to a safe-ish position on the side of the road. “Let’s just call CAA yeah? See if we can’t get ourselves to a motel or some shit” she said, leaning on the boot of the car.

40 or so minutes of waiting in the heatwave, we finally saw the tow truck. “Is there anywhere I can drop you girls off?” The driver said as we grabbed our bags out of the trunk. Ella and I looked at each other, we had reservations at a hotel that we were nowhere close too. “Not unless you’re willing to drive us 4 more hours to our hotel” she joked, earning a laugh from the worker infront of us. “That’s a bit out of my pay range, but I know a place I can take you – always looking for new customers” he said. With no other options in site, we climbed into his car and were soon on our way to the mystery location.

-

“Here you are girls, Lotus inn, best local hotel on this side of the coast.” “Thank you for all your help, we really appreciate it” Ella said handing the man a 50. “No problem, we’ll get back to you on how much the car will be – hopefully you’ll be able to make the rest of your trip with no issues.” We nodded to him in gratitude and with that we went our separate ways.

“This place looks pretty nice” Ella commented, “yeah, let’s hope its in our price range” I tell her.

Surprisingly, we were able to book a room for a while – having enough money and having to splurge some what into the emergency stash we took. “Well, considering we can’t make it to anything else – feel like going to the pool for a while?” I offered once we settled. “Why not, maybe find something to do” she agreed.

The pool was near empty, people were lounging about – sunbathing, drinking and not a single kid in sight. “Did we get lucky?” I asked plopping myself on one of the lounge chairs. The two of us laid in silence, trying to decompress from the day we just had, I on the other hand was just excited to be out of the passenger seat after 5 hours. “Hey, don’t look now but that guy across the pool is totally checking you out” she said, I looked at her – but due to her sun glasses I couldn’t tell if she was bluffing or not. Deciding to investigate for my self, I flipped to my back and looked across the water – sure enough, a group of five guys were across from us and the bleach blonde one was subtly looking in our direction. “What do you think, out of 10?” I say looking at her. She glanced up once more and then back to her book “I give him a solid 9” she said.

I laughed at her response and headed to the bar. “Hey, two cranberry vodkas please” I tell the server, however I was trying to see if the blonde had followed me or not, sure enough – when I looked one more time, he left his friends and started making his way to the bar. Wanting to talk to him, I took a seat, placing my foot on the one next to me.

“This seat taken?” He asked putting his glasses on his head. I couldn’t help but smirk when he came by – totally a ten in my books. “Not at all” I tell him, grabbing my drinks from the bartender. “So I couldn’t help but notice you from across the pool” he told me, placing his arms on the bar in front of himself. “Oh, so you weren’t just checking out my ass?” I tease him, biting my lip. “Couldn’t help it, you caught my eye” he admitted smiling at me. “I’m Kora, my friends Ella” I tell him, “Daniel. I’ll introduce you to my friends later” he says.

Conversation flowed easily between the two of us, that was until Ella came up and interrupted us. “I take it that’s for me?” She asks referring to the second cran vodka sitting between us. “Oh, shit sorry, uh Ella this is Daniel. He’s in a band” I say emphasizing the last fact. She wasn’t surprised however, “and you say you don’t have a type” she mutters nudging my shoulders. “So what brings you two to the Lotus inn?” He asks, including her in the conversation. “Her car broke down, sort of a last-minute kind of thing – you?” I ask looking him in the eyes. “Me and the guys come here a lot, sort of a hidden gem to everyone, great for a get away once in a while” he said. “Hey Daniel, we gotta go” a taller boy with curler hair said coming up to us. “So much for a getaway – hey we’ll see you at the bonfire tonight right?” He asked pointing to a poster hung up behind the bar. I look to my best friend but before she can refuse anything I agree. “Cool, here’s my number by the way.” He writes 10 digits on a napkin before leaving with the curly haired boy.

-

Later that night as we get ready for the bonfire Ella cannot stop with all the questions about Daniel. “What’s he like? You guys were literally there for 40 minutes. Is he sweet? Does he seem like a douche bag?” I can’t help but laugh at her – its been way too long since she’s seen her boyfriend and now she’s living right through me. “He seems really authentic? I guess I can say, I mean, we literally lost track of time. He’s so charming” I say as I finish curling my hair. “Well what are you going to wear? You gotta wow him” she says going through my clothes. “I’m going to wear a this set and we’re going to go” I say pulling my outfit out for myself. “I’m not going to dress up for someone I just met and will probably see ever again” I tell her, “boo, you’re no fun” she said shuffling over to her own bag.

The sun had started to set by time we make it to the bonfire. Everything is in full swing, but I don’t see Daniel anywhere or the guys he was with. “Come on! Let’s grab something to drink!” I turn to Ella and she places a lei on my neck as well as handed me some glowsticks. “Where in the world did you get these already?” I asked sliding them to wear as bracelets “It’s a bonfire! They’re just being handed out!”

Daniel

The guys were taking their sweet time getting ready for the bonfire and I was getting impatient, wanting to get out their and meet up with Kora already. “Dude chill have some pre-drink” Corbyn said handing me a red solo cup. “What are you guys even doing? Let’s just go” I said, chugging the beer.

After some more complaining we finally made our way to the bonfire and I found Kora and Ella dancing in front of the fire almost immediately. I stayed with the boys while they grabbed some drinks. Kora looked over at me and winked, earning a blush – which she would never hear about. “That her?” Zach asked as I handed him a beer, “yeah with the flower necklace on” I tell him. I couldn’t help but just watch her for a while, she looked absolutely perfect swaying her hips to the music playing loudly. I downed my drink and went to grab another one when I felt someone grab my wrist. Looking back I saw Kora with a big smile on her face. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked bringing me to the dance floor, “just admiring the view” I whisper in her ear. I noticed the shiver roll down her spine. “you keep talking like that and I think we both know how this night is going to end” she said.

Kora handed me her drink as Elle came up to give her a refill and grabbed my free hand. I slowly twirled her around and brought her back to my front, keeping her with me and telling other guys to fuck off. “So mr. Rockstar – I take it I’m yours for the rest of the night?” She whispered in my ears, “I mean, if you’ll take me” I tell her.

Elle and the boys soon crowd around us making a semi circle. I can’t seem to look away from Kora however, the sunset hits her face just perfectly. Her eyes are highlighted by the golden rays and she’s glowing. “It’s getting dark – do you guys want to get out of here?” Zach suggested to everybody. “Yeah, we don’t have anywhere to be in the morning” Ella said for us – clearly smitten with the brunette beside her.

We all take some booze from the party and make it back to our suite. “Shit you guys rich or something?” Ella jokes as Zach takes her hand leading her to the couch. “I mean, Daniel did say they are a band” Kora said, her hand never leaving mine. We all disperse around the living room; Jonah setting up spotify on the tv, Corbyn grabbing some glasses, Zach with Ella, Jack with Corbyn and Kora always by my side. “So, we partying or what?” Jonah asked as the music started playing.

The next few hours are spent with booze flowing, jokes being made and games being played. It was only midnight, and a few more people showed up making the hotel room a little crowded. I had opened the door to let the salty sea air cool us all down, and looked towards Kora.

She made her way to me and grabbed my hand. “Baby, come with me” she said leading me out the doorway.

  To be continued?....

[shirtlesssammy]

2x11: Playthings

Then:

These brother have seen some things

Now:

This episode starts off real comforting. Aside from the exposition of a family moving out of an old inn, we’re greeted to a room FULL of creepy old dolls. A show doesn’t even have to try when dolls are thrown in the mix. The room of dolls belongs to Tyler, one of the little girls in the house. She has a dollhouse --a replica of the inn-- that would have made a younger me faint with jealousy. 

The dolls in this dollhouse move around mysteriously though. One moment she places a doll in a rocking chair, and the next he’s sprawled on the floor in front of the stairs --head on backwards. 

She hears a scream and comes out to see her mom calling 911, and the moving guy near death on the floor in front of the stairs. 

(Sidenote: Anybody remember reading The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright as a kid? I loved that book.) 

The brothers, meanwhile, are trying to find Ava. Typical Sam can’t just sit and spin his wheels, and wants to work a case about deaths at an inn in Connecticut. Dean wonders why Sam doesn’t want to wallow --”more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows”. AND I HAVE TO STOP AND POINT OUT THAT DEAN HAS DONE ALL OF THIS WHEN HE’S THOUGHT CAS DEAD. Projection looks awful on you Dean. 

They get to the inn and Dean’s pumped about working a haunted house case ---possibly running into Fred and Daphne. Bby boy eventually DID run into Fred and Daphne and I have EMOTIONS. (But, like, real ones. Our little show got a crossover with Scooby-doo!? It’s still surreal to think about sometimes.) 

Sam notices a powerful charm warding off enemies outside the inn. 

The brothers check into the inn. Susan, the owner, tells them that the inn is closing and asks if they’re in the area “antiquing”. Dean readily agrees to go along with their cover. She then asks if they want a king sized bed. Sam corrects her and she apologizes, but poor, poor, repressed, stressed Dean can’t let it go and asks her, “What’d you mean we ‘looked the type’?” 

They get room 237 --and Dean, film buff and noted Stephen King fan-- has no reaction. Boo. 

Sam reviews the deaths so far: a realtor and mover. Someone doesn’t want this family to leave. Dean is more focused on the vibe he’s sending out to the world that makes them think he’s into dudes. Sam succinctly sums it up by saying, “Well, you are kinda butch. Probably think you're overcompensating.” Dean’s nervous reaction kills me every time. 

Walking around the inn later, Sam finds more hoodoo markings. They then go to talk with Susan. In order to talk with her more, Dean sees her collection of antique dolls and tells her that Sam’s a collector.

Sam checks out the dollhouse and notices the doll with the twisted head. Tyler comes in and Sam asks about it. She said that she found it like that. She says that neither Maggie or her would do that because Grandma Rose would be mad. These are all her toys. 

Grandma Rose is upstairs, in a wheelchair, and Sam is forbidden to talk to her about the doll collection. The brothers set to digging up dirt on the grandma. 

Susan learns that the new owners plan on demolishing the hotel. 

Tyler has a tea party while the visiting attorney sits on his bed. There’s a doll sitting on the dollhouse bed as well. Both the dollhouse door and real door to the attorney’s room open. Tyler looks over to the dollhouse and sees the doll hanging from the ceiling. 

The doll’s real life counterpart is likewise occupied. 

Sam watches as the guy is hauled away in a bodybag. Dean asks Susan about what happened. 

He then finds Sam, who is REALLY DRUNK. Sam’s upset he couldn’t save the guy --and Ava (lol, are you sure about that one Sam?). Sam’s deeply upset about Dean’s earlier confession about saving him or killing him. In a moment of clarity, Dean tells Sam that John should never have laid that on them. Sam gets a promise from Dean eventually though. 

Dean heads to the bar and finds Sherwin (the butler?). 

He asks Sherwin about the history of the hotel. Sherwin walks Dean around and shows him pictures of the family in “happier days.” Sherwin notes that Rose will have to live in a senior facility and the only home she’s ever known will be demolished. They look at old pictures, and Rose’s nanny also sported a hoodoo symbol on her pinafore. 

The next morning, Sam’s worshipping at the porcelain throne. Dean checks that Sam doesn’t remember his promise to kill him and then proceeds to tease him mercilessly, Big Brother Style ™. 

The Winchesters head up to talk to Rose, who lives in the attic not-at-all-creepily. (Note to self: live in the attic when I’m extremely old and infirm and invest in a good, old, creaky rocker.) Rose can’t talk, which seems to rule out hoodoo on her part (which requires motor and speech control).

Susan finds them and kicks them the hell out. 

Back inside, the two girls are playing together and not packing. Susan tells her daughter that her friend (!!!) is IMAGINARY!!! Yesssss creepy ghost child time, baby. 

Susan is 100% DONE with Tyler’s buddy Maggie and tells her she’s too old for an imaginary friend. (Somewhere, young Sam is shouting HOW DARE.)

Later, Tyler plays with her dollhouse when the swing on the swingset starts to move.

A cold breeze blows across Susan as she packs the car and she notices the swings moving on the real swingset outside. The teeter-totter starts to move and that’s DEFINITELY NOT THE WIND. While she’s distracted by the haunted playground, her car heads straight for her. It’s R-E-D-R-U-M time. 

Sam saves Susan just in time. They all head straight for the booze. Dean tells her their theories: they thought it was hoodoo but now their money’s on ghost. In response, Susan takes a big swig of liquor. #Relatable

Now their theory is that Grandma Rose was using hoodoo to ward off a malicious spirit, but couldn’t once she had a stroke. Sam tells Susan that she needs to clear the house, including her two daughters. RECORD SCRATCH. Susan only has ONE daughter! They race off to find Tyler and her imaginary friend.

Upstairs, Maggie confronts a terrified Rose. 

Maggie’s going to keep Tyler for herself. MuaHAHAHAHA. “We can have lots of tea parties. Forever and ever and ever….”

Upstairs, the adults are met with a horrifying scene of unbelievable carnage.

For Someone Had Fun with Eyeballs Science:

Susan remembers that her mother had a sister. Would you say a………..twisted sister? Maggie died in the pool and her ghost now haunts the place. 

Cut to Maggie and Tyler dangling from the balcony railing over the pool. Tyler’s scared, but Maggie promises that after she jumps they can be together forever. The adults arrive at the pool just in time to see Maggie hurl Tyler into the pool. Tyler gets tangled in the plastic pool cover (SHUDDER) and breaks free only for Maggie to duck her back underwater. 

Suddenly, Maggie hears another voice! It’s a young girl calling for “Margaret.” Maggie fades out. Sam breaks the glass at last and dives into the pool to save Tyler. 

He hauls Tyler out and to the edge of the pool. There’s a lot of slow motion sorrowful looks between the adults (instead of instant first aid smh) when Tyler spits out water! She’s alive! Tyler reports that Maggie’s gone from the pool. 

Up in the attic, Maggie talks to Rose. They’re striking some kind of deal in order for Maggie to let Susan and Tyler go. “You kept me away for so long,” Maggie says. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” She caresses Rose’s cheek.

A little while later, Susan screams from the attic room. Rose is dead! The paramedics declare it another stroke. (A stroke of MURDER.) After Tyler and Susan head out for their new not-at-all-traumatized life, the Winchesters head off as well.

(I planned to put in a caption where Dean comments on Sam getting some MILF action and then Dean just comes right out and SAYS it right in the goddamned script.)

At the Impala of Feelings, they talk about the good times: the case is solved! And...the bad times. Sam reminds Dean of his promise to kill him. 

Back in the house everything is super fine and extra great. Two girls play in the family apartments while Maggie’s doll looks on fondly. 

The Dollquote Murders:

Son of a bitch. … Maggie said it first!

I just figured after Ava there'd be, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows…

You are kinda butch. Probably think you're overcompensating

You're bossy. And short

That car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did, technically

Think you could have hooked up some MILF action there, bud

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[narcoleptic-drag-queen]

For the ask game thingy: Branjie 15 Z and for Z Drunk Girls meeting in the bathroom at a club 🌸

I took this and ran away with it - turns out, Vanjie’s POV awakens something within me. I hope you like it!! <3

15 - “Don’t cry, your makeup looks way too good.”

Z - Other (specify)

-

Vanjie loves parties.

She loves dancing, she loves the epilepsy-warning circus of blue and pink lights, she loves the booze and the girls and the guys and the music. She loves hanging out with her friends and coming home unable to use her voice because she spent so much time screaming over loud bass. Vanjie loves parties.

Doesn’t really explain why she’s spending most of her night in the dingy bathroom with a girl who could rival Wonder Woman with the way she’s built, but then again: the girl is built like motherfucking Wonder Woman.

Vanjie is about to get rawed by Wonder Woman. As soon as she can get Wonder Woman to stop weeping into the broken sink at the very end of the room.

“Don’t cry,” she says, by way of introduction. She doesn’t really know how to navigate the situation, especially when she’s completely off her ass on tequila shots and a margarita, but dear lord is she going to make the effort. 

“Don’t cry,” she repeats, because she doesn’t think Wonder Woman heard her the first time. “Your makeup looks way too good, boo.”

“Does it even matter?” Wonder Woman whines. “I put all this effort in and then - and then nothing.” She sniffs to mark the end of her sentence, her slurred words making it clear that she’s maybe even more plastered than Vanjie. Which is, frankly, a feat.

“Oh,” Vanjie mutters, mostly to herself. “You got somethin’.”

Wonder Woman lifts her head. Her mascara is a little streaked, but it doesn’t distract from the fact that her thighs are muscular and would probably feel really, really good wrapped around Vanessa’s head. 

“What?” Wonder Woman says pathetically, and Vanjie feels her heart twinge for her. She’s been in this situation - drunk, crying into a piss-stained sink - and it sucks ass. This girl needs a rebound - bad. 

Vanessa thinks she might know someone.

She sighs, shaking her head. “Wonder Woman, you don’t even--”

“‘Wonder Woman’?” the woman frowns, giving Vanjie a strange look. It’s the most sober she’s sounded all night. “My name is Brooke Lynn.”

“Well, hello Miss Brooke!” Vanjie says, and she gives Brooke Lynn the sweetest grin she has on her. She hopes her lipstick isn’t too smudged. “I’m Vanessa, but you can call me Vanjie, if you like.”

“Vanjie,” Brooke smiles. The tears are dry - step one of Operation: Get Laid: success. Vanjie’s never been more grateful for the rapidly swinging emotions of a drunk woman. “I like it. It’s cute.”

“Just like me!” Vanessa tells her, and Brooke laughs. Vanessa’s stomach does a little twirl at the sound, something like pride welling up within her at her success with getting Brooke to smile. “And not like that other bitch who you got all dressed up for.”

Brooke frowns, and Vanjie unconsciously mirrors it, her stomach dropping a little when the brief brightness in Brooke’s eyes dims again. “Yvie’s so cute,” she says, pouting. “She’s just more into redheads, I guess.”

“I bet it’s box dye,” Vanjie says drily, and Brooke snickers.

“Oh, definitely,” she says conspiratorially, and she leans close to whisper drunkenly into Vanjie’s ear, and Vanessa shivers as goosebumps erupt all over her body. “And she definitely stuffed her bra.”

Vanessa shrieks. “She did?”

“Well, she needed to,” Brooke shrugs, her voice growing a little mean. Vanessa likes it.

“What, got a problem with a small chest, Miss Brooke?” Vanjie teases, glancing down pointedly at her low cut crop top, and she grins when Brooke follows her gaze and raises an eyebrow. 

“Not at all,” Brooke says, which makes Vanessa giggle, and then she tacks on a ‘just with hers’ that has Vanessa screaming.

“Get her!” she hollers, and Brooke presses a finger to her lips, but her giggles ruin the effect. “Fuck that ho!”

Brooke nods, looking back at the mirror and doing her best to wipe her mascara tear tracks away with her spit. “Yeah,” she says, determined. “Fuck that bitch!”

“Fuck that bitch!” Vanjie hoots. “You can fuck me instead!”

She half expects Brooke to blush again, to turn to her with wide eyes and say ‘what?’ with a shocked tone, but instead she gets silence, Brooke giving her a look through the mirror that has Vanjie squeezing her thighs together desperately.

“Well,” Brooke says, after a moment. Her voice has gone down at least an octave. Heat plunges into Vanessa’s underwear. “I’m not going to say no.”

Vanessa blinks, suddenly unable to think of literally anything other than the way Brooke’s lips are curling into a smirk. “Good,” she says, after a too-long pause, and Brooke raises an eyebrow, although another blush is creeping across her cheeks even with the seductress act she’s putting on. Vanessa thinks she’s the cutest human being she’s ever seen.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Vanjie says, her shock wearing off and allowing some of her confidence back in. “You wanna give them a show? Show Yvie what she’s missing?”

“Fuck,” Brooke breathes, and she turns away from the mirror to look Vanessa dead in the eyes. Vanessa flushes from her head down to her pinkie toes. “Can I kiss you?”

Vanessa tilts her head. “Bitch, I ain’t flirtin’ with you not to be kissed!”

Brooke bites back an obvious smile, but as she leans in to meet Vanessa’s lips, her expression quickly morphs into one of pure lust. Vanessa is melting before their lips even meet, and when they do, she can’t stop the low moan she lets out at the feeling of Brooke against her, at the feeling of her hands in her hair and her teeth on her lip. Vanessa skids her hands down Brooke’s sides to grab her ass, breathing in the scent of tequila and expensive perfume. Brooke sighs into the kiss, making Vanjie’s toes curl with pleasure.

It is, hands down, the best kiss Vanjie has ever had in her life. She thinks she might need more than this.

Like, more after tonight more than this.

Brooke is the one to pull away first, catching her breath desperately as she stares at Vanjie with wide eyes, the glint in them making Vanessa extra horny. “Aren’t we supposed to be putting on a show?” she asks, and Vanessa cackles.

“You’re right,” she says, because as much as she loved that kiss, she thinks she’ll love kissing Brooke Lynn even more if it’s making someone jealous. “Let’s go out there and show them who’s boss.”

“Fries after?”

Vanessa’s heart does a kickflip routine in her chest. “Yeah,” she says, and she doesn’t mean for her voice to be so soft. “I’d like that.”

Brooke Lynn’s eyes crickle, little flecks of mascara still lingering on her cheeks. She’s gorgeous.

“I’d like that too.”

send a pairing, number, and letter!

[vixxenfox]

Things I’ve noticed after watching the pilot over and over again

And things I just find amusing

- is it just a coincidence that when Charlie says “I wonder if it could be me” the center angel’s face lights up?

- not important but the “F*ck you heaven!!!” Sign is hilarious

- I hate Valentino with a burning passion, look at him texting Angel

- people drop from the sky to get to hell, more importantly without clothes which means each flippin person has to get specially made clothes for their weird demon bodies like sir pentious needs clothes to fit his snake body and stuff... idk just interesting

- the place beside the “we couldn’t come up with a catchy slogan but we sell hardcore drugs” building is called “begg slut”

- imagine dying, going to hell, and realize that you’re an egg

- egg #23 is the best

-one of the eggs like does a weird walk thing with their hand on sir pentious’ tail

-Cherri Bomb’s clothing is so asymmetrical and I love it like she is literally wearing a high-heel boot on one leg and like a tiny shoe on the other

- really just poor Tom he’s great

- Vaggie says “it’s all highlighted” but none of what we are shown is highlighted

- Also read the parts of the list we can see, it’s adorable

- “I don’t touch the gays” I find Katie great

- Jeffrey Dahmer obviously (Also the sticky note saying “who approved this show?)

- When Charlie scans the crowd another tv head just says ‘words’

-The person Vaggie punches isn’t in the crowd

- I love Razzle and Dazzle TvT

- Those two owl demons in Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow are most definitely references to Timber

- CHARLIE YOU JUST KILLED A PUPPY

- I love that there is a boo section

- Tom watches Angel Dust’s stuff confirmed

- I love the sonic spring noise when Angel launches an egg into the air

- Sir Pentious probably has a son that might be in hell so look out for another snake

- Do you see how happy Cherri Bomb is near Angel Dust, best friends! :D

- Aawww Angel pushes Cherri out of the way

- Angel didn’t just sprout a third set of arms, he also pulled an entire gun out of his body sooo... what’s with that

- I think you would just stop existing if you died in hell Angel

- That creepy fan has a body pillow of Angel

- Charlie takes off her pink... jacket(?) in one scene and the next she has it on again (you see her wearing pink in the closeup)

- Lilith is an absent mother

- There goes everyone’s fanon about how Lucifer acts (why couldn’t we get a nice stupid one T~T)

- I think they changed Alastor’s knock but I’m too lazy to check

- They fixed Alastor’s disappearing monocle

- I like that the mic has an eye sometimes it’s cool (how many “sentient-ish” things does Alastor’s have, first the shadow and now this)

- Alastor can teleport at least short distances and he appears as the shadow for a second

- They really make Alastor a very animated character and I love it

- (we knew this already but) Alastor clearly puts himself on a different level than the other sinners, he thinks of himself as justified and better (he doesn’t say “us sinners” he says “loathsome sinners” w/o him in the picture)

- Valentino, Rosie, Lilith (obviously), the girl from the porn studio, and the tv head dude (Vox, thanks @lavipsi) are all some of hell’s “strongest demons”

- TV head (Vox) is in the middle and top so he must be very powerful and behind him there’s also a green and red demon that reminds me of the wolf/fox demon from the bar scene

- Husk is very blocked out by Vaggie’s face but he’s clearly in the picture with Alastor (it looks like a fight but I don’t want to assume) like we know they know each other and stuff but it’s just weird that Husk is in the art when Vaggie says he’s “a dangerous Blahblah” and has entire speech of how dangerous he is

- I love the symbols that float up when Charlie isn’t looking and then the squeak as he turns to a more “innocent-like” Alastor when Charlie looks back

- Alastor rolls his eyes at Charlie when she says “No trickster, voodoo strings attached.”

- Talked about this before but the way his smile gets wider when Charlie says “for as long as you like”

- Why does Charlie have at least 2 posters about alcohol up if she didn’t want it in her hotel?

- I love how Niffty comes in and her bug-like noise when she appears

- You can see their reflection in Niffty’s eye during the closeup and Charlie is too adorable in it, Angel and Vaggie look ready to kick her out XD

- Everybody’s reactions to Niffty rambling on is beautiful, just watch them go from defensive to confused

- Alastor just following Niffty’s every movement as she zooms around

- Please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t immediately see Husk as a cat? I honestly thought he was a dog for a while because he looks sort of like a Husky and his name is Husk, which got me thinking about the contradictions with Alastor not liking dogs... then I realized Husk was a cat.

- “are you sh!tt!ng me” “no I don’t think so” and “you think I’m just some clown” “..maybe” are some of my favorite lines

- Was I just supposed to know that on the bottom of Alastor’s boots (shoes? Hooves?) there were deer prints?

- So did Alastor really just teleport two sinners and basically copy part of the bar Husk was at and it’s just going to be there forever? Like you can see where the bar’s like territory ends because it’s walls are green while the hotel’s is red

- No like seriously Alastor you can copy a part of a bar but you can’t make the walls match the rest of the hotel’s walls?

- Husk seems slightly taller than Alastor

- Also Husk also has yellow teeth and if we go by Alastor’s teeth are yellow because he’s a cannibal, Husk might have been a cannibal when he was alive

- Husk clearly knows Alastor, he’s not afraid of him (to an extent, he was still a little shaken by the... Sir Pentious thing). Husk obviously voices his complaints without restraint and isn’t afraid of Alastor hurting him (I guess), and even when he was shaken up he was still the second person to follow Alastor back to the hotel.

- The entire relationship between Husk and Alastor is very intriguing to me! Husk doesn’t fear Alastor, Alastor called him a friend (obviously another jab at Husk but still), and they were in the same picture when Vaggie talked about Alastor being dangerous. I’m guessing they were probably friends once, maybe the picture is them both fighting another demon or fighting each other in like a fall-out.

- Vaggie is very exaggerated when she’s complaining about the bar and it’s beautiful

- Husk in the background as a still image just chugging booze is beautiful

-Angel’s angry face as Vaggie complains about the bar just before he leaves to lunge at her is beautiful and my favorite face

- 27:46 Alastor flipping FLUTTERS HIS EYES AT VAGGIE and you can hear a small sound effect of it and I just thought that was beautiful

- At the same moment Charlie is just rubbing her cheeks and it’s cute

- Right before Alastor starts singing, he throws some red... fire in the air and Charlie follows it with her eyes and she just so awed by it

- The fireplace in the background has an eye and a top hat above it and it just reminds me of Sir Pentious

- Alastor’s song has so many Friends on the Other Side vibes and I love it

- There are so many Christian symbols (and Satanic symbols) in the background of this song and I just don’t want to spend that time looking at each one :l

- Alastor’s shadow is also here further nailing the Friend on the Other Side vibe (not to mention the other shadows and voodoo doll things)

- Poor Niffty, she should never get hurt

- When Sir Pentious is talking and it shows the chibi characters, Charlie, Angel, and Niffty are looking at Alastor and when it zooms in for a split second Angel’s face is the most innocent bab ever

- There’s a building in the background with (again) one eye and a top hat, there’s also a cat building right next to it

- You can see heaven as a planet with a halo...

- There’s also a sun(?) or moon(?) or planet(?) with a pentagram on it

- I know that Egg Boi #OUCH is just a joke, but what if after 666, Sir Pentious just started giving them stupid names like that?

- Again, religious symbols float around Alastor that I’m not going to look into because I’ve taken so much time T_T

- Niffty is actually unfazed by Alastor summoning tentacles and destroying Sir Pentious’ ship. Really she has a normal smile and face and she immediately follows Alastor when he walks back to the hotel

- Angel is still flirting with Husk

- Charlie reassuring Vaggie is adorable

- Are we not going to talk about the carousel and gigantic steam boat that’s just protruding from the hotel

- I also love how the windows at the top of skull designs <3

- There’s an eye on the top of the building and the sign of Happy/Hazbin Hotel could also look like a top hate (why are there so many one-eyed top hats like Sir Pentious’...?)

- Stay tuned TM

- Not from me but, Alastor changes the name to Hazbin Hotel and Hazbin means something that was great before but is terrible now or something that is meaningless

- So Alastor liking terrible jokes is now canon? The dad joke thing wasn’t just a stream thing, it’s actually canon?

- Alastor actually has a red ‘X’ on his forehead, you can see it right after he destroys Sir Pentious’ ship

- The art in the credits shows Cherri Bomb having a tattoo

- I would like to talk a little about the design that’s in the background during the credits. So in the middle is an apple that’s being held by two sharp hands, there are three snakes coming out of it with only one snake fully out but still seems to have originated from the apple. The snake that’s completely out is on the top and has some designs around it that emphasize it, making it look more like a king (the devil, duh). The other two snakes are going down (probably referencing Adam and Eve maybe? Even though they also seem evil I just think of Adam and Eve.) Under them is another snake head. There are two sets of eyes around the top snake, one set has a line going down the middle of each eye like a scar while the bottom set has eyelashes. Even though the bottom set looks more “girly”, it reminds me of Lucifer because of the dots under them. If you want to grasp at straws the complete bottom snake’s tongue sort of looks like the bottom part of the symbol of Lucifer. The three snakes that clearly originate from the apple in the middle can also look like “Three snakes and one charm” if you squint. The symbol above the top snake looks like the infinity symbol combined with the cross, but it’s not the leviathan cross, so maybe just eternal... crucifixion?

- The smoke coming from the pit that Alastor made has souls in it

- I think #23 is depressed because he really wants to be shot... and he was just sitting there next to a bunch of dead hims

- Vivziepop said on a stream something about Lucifer being “generally goofy, but it depends on his voice” or something like that, please correct me if I’m completely wrong. This makes me things that Lucifer is going to have multiple voice actors.

-The Loading Crew “Everything We Know About Hazbin Hotel” brings up a point that it seems like the only things that can kill demons and sinners are the Exterminators’ weapons which are sometimes left behind that demons scavenge, Vaggie also appears to have one. I recommend watching his video, it’s very quick but also brings up points I haven’t addressed. 

And yeah, that’s all for now! ^_^ comment if you have something else to add or think I should change something

[nodesiretogrowup]

LET’S GET READY TO RE-CAAAAAAAAP

“I have numerous science-based questions” I mean, same. It also sets up that Huey is gonna be out of his element this episode

SCROOGE HAS NO TIME FOR SCIENCE

“I AM THAT CHAMPION.” A bit full of yourself there. I couldn’t hear this line without saying “I’M. THAT. HERO.” Oh VeggieTales, you’ll always be with me

THEY ALL LOOK SO ADORABLE!!

I like that Louie does a finger gun when Scrooge gets to him

Like I said earlier, I DO NOT care Scrooge already putting pressure on these kids

Poor Dewey seems like he’s the unfavorite, which is probably how Donald felt as well

Huey makes a good point and I do NOT like how dismissive Scrooge is of the twins

That being said...they totally killed someone in battle

SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION!

Why didn’t Launchpad crash? I know he can land w/o crashing but it’s usually when he lands in water. THIS FEELS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW though it probably isn’t

“THEY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE RAINBOWS BETTER!” God, I love Webby

“This is the best day.” WEBBY, YOU ARE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS OF ADORABLE

Birds with beards look odd

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Poor Huey, magic and mythology aren’t his strong point

I love that it says Odin’s Closet over the shirts. It’s the little details

“Guess Louie knows what Louie’s doing today.” And then he disappears into the shirts. I can appreciate someone who knows what they’re about

I want ALL the shirts from this episode!

“WHOA, IT’S WRESTLING!” He looks so dang happy, it’s ADORABLE

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Chanting is fun

“So these guys just copied professional wrestling?” Huey, you’re form of logic is not welcome here

Does that mean Scrooge told someone about his battles and inspired them to create pro wrestling? I’m gonna go with that

“And they will love me for it!” Dewey, sweetie, that’s only how it works half the time

I loved all the man-snake stuff. Made me giggle

Man snake be THICC. HOT DAMN

I love the little pig ref. HE’S SO CUTE

Jormungandr knows how to pump up a crowd

So, like, is everyone in the audience technically DEAD?! That makes this episode slightly darker. I dig it

 I wonder if Jormungandr sees Earth’s destruction as a good thing for Earth. Like if he genuinely thinks they’d be better off in Valhalla. Or if he’s just a bastard who wants to watch the world burn

Scrooge is a bit too into playing the heel

The way Scrooge moves and the faces he makes as the Millionaire Miser remind me of Glomgold

“I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly.” “Wait, while?” This exchange always cracks me up

“Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time.” “Huh, I guess not everyone thinks so.” I feel like this is foreshadowing later events

RIP Announcer Puffin

“DIBS ON ANNOUNCING!” A dude just got KO’d bro! Have a bit of respect

And the return of the dynamic sports announcer duo. Glad Huey got his badge

I NEED MORE WRESTLING ANNOUNCER LP

Strongbeard is DOPE

“How did you know that?” “Just calling it like I see it. WRESTLING!” The real reason Launchpad knows is because he’s actually Thor but doesn’t remember. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

FEAR THE BEARD

“What matters is I’m doing the right thing.” I don’t know, you really seem to enjoy being a heel

This whole match is great

Dewey, there ARE NO RULES IN WRESTLING. Plus you aren’t the ref, so you can’t make that call

I have very inappropriate jokes go through my head when only one arm absorbs the beard energy

“I am so confused.” CONSTANT MOOD

DID SCROOGE NARUTO RUN AT STRONGBEARD?!

I like that Scrooge dives onto him the same way he dives into his bin

LP is so excited he pushes Huey out of the way for NO REASON

HOLY FUCK THAT DUDE THREW A CHAIR AT A CHILD!

All the bone cracking in this episode made me uncomfortable, as in my bones hurt during it

“He is such a good guy.” I’d say he’s a fair guy, not necessarily a good guy

“Which two of you will fight for me?” Webby has been waiting for this moment her WHOLE LIFE

Louie, always taking time to make that money

Who gave him a shirt cannon?!

I love that the dude comes up wearing the shirt

Dewey just slaps Scrooge in the face

Champ POPular! Too cute! I love his hair and outfit. Though I don’t think Champ POPular’s “too popular to hate.” If anything he might annoy people due to his popularity

I thought he was gonna pull out yo-yos as his “finishing touch” and I was sad when it was lollipops even though that makes more sense. BRING BACK THE YO-YOS!

“Do all the fighting and make sure he doesn’t die.” That is a valid concern

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! I’D KNOW IT ANYWHERE

Huey taking notes is adorable

“Just in time for the tag-team round.” “Wait, they’re playing tag now?! MAN!” I love how Danny says MAN

How does Huey not know what a tag-team is? It’s a pretty common term

I love Launchpad’s reading face

Dewey has red, blue, and green lollipops. Cute

“HE’S THROWING LOLLIPOPS BECAUSE HE THINKS WE’RE SUCKERS!” That took me off guard and I laughed so hard

“I’ve known you my whole life, I kinda knew how this would play out.” Louie is genre savvy. Perhaps too savvy. He’s gonna figure out he’s in a tv show

“More like Champ POP..ulation zero because he has no friends...in Friendtown.” I fail to see how that was any worse than LP’s “more like Champ UN-POPular.”

“WE HATE YOU NOW!” Tough crowd

Huey’s face after that. I just want to pinch his lil cheeks

WEBBY DON’T NEED NO WRESTLER NAME

It TOTALLY went over my head that they censored Hela with Hecka (at least they used her better than the MCU did. WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BETTER)

I would let her pin me to the mat and crush my skull in

“Oh, COME ON, THIS is what you like?! A creepy goth and her pet dog!” SHUT UP, DEWEY, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT! I’m surprised Webby didn’t slap him for the “creepy goth” comment seeing as Lena is goth and misunderstood

“HECKA YEAH! HECKA YEAH!” SHE’S SO COOL AND SEXY AND SHE HAS A DOG

Poor Huey, he’s doing his best. Hope he takes a shower later because he got pretty sweaty

HECKA COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D SAY THANK YOU

Why did Huey have all those corn puns?

“YOU’RE THE WORST! YOU’RE THE WORST!” It’s just not Huey’s day

“You don’t have to try to make it sound great, it already is.” Did this remind anyone else of Dewey’s “don’t overthink it” advice to Launchpad from Double-O Duck? He’s doing his best to help Huey

I WANT HECKA TO DESTROY ME

“EMBRACE THE BOOZE BOOS.”

Poor Dewey

WEBBY IS A BEAST! SHE WAS BORN FOR THIS!

“EMBRACE YOUR INNER HEEL!” Cuz being a heel is fun!

DUDE, WEBBY TOOK DOWN THE GODDESS OF DEATH WITH NOTHING BUT HER LEGS AND THIGHS! WE STAN!

I like that Fenny has knee pads on

“AW, YOU’RE SO DANGEROUS AND CUTE! I JUST WANT TO PET YOUR LITTLE BELLY!” WEBBY IS ME

“A classic ‘who’s a good boy?’ gambit!” AND I’D FALL FOR IT TOO! SUCH A GOOD BOI

“Wait, am I the Launchpad here?” Bitch, you WISH

“YOU CAN’T GIVE CANDY TO A DOG!” This is why you don’t have a pet, Dewey

“WHOA, back from THE DEAD for the QUEEN of the DEAD!”

Kind of a dick move, Louie

AIR GUITAR!

Jormungandr looks like a Masters of the Universe knock-off toy

WHO’S A GOOD BOI? YOU ARE!

“With a toxic personality” I think you’re projecting a bit, Jormungandr 

How does Huey not know what a battle royale is? That is a very common term! Hell, there is a well known book and movie with that title!

“I’m just a humble, noble snake man of the people.” Why does the term snake man make me laugh so much?  

WOY REFERENCE FTW

Dewey needs a hug! And some therapy would probably be a good idea

Scrooge’s speech started on a good note then went downhill FAST

“And lastly, I’ll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea.” DAMN

“TOO FAR!” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAR ENOUGH! TELL HIM HOW YOU WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD

FUCK YEAH BEAKLEY!

SHE GAVE HIM THE CHAIR! I think this CONFIRMS Beakley as a wrestling fan

“I know we’re supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder if maybe we’re not cut out for it?” YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WONDER THOSE THINGS AT ALL! 

Louie’s like WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

“Be LP” My new mantra

Aw, Louie sees Dewey as a hero. Like how LP saw Drake as a hero. I think @drakepad is onto something, this scene and the fight scene seem WAAAAY too much like Drake’s intro to be just a coincidence

I keep saying this, but Louie should consider a career in motivational speaking. He knows what people need to hear

“Let’s do this!” “I don’t know.” “Let’s Dewey this?” “I’m in.”

“I’LL SHED YOUR SKIN FOR YOU!” If he hadn’t of had an old man back moment that would have been a BRUTAL CUT

OMG WAS LAUNCHPAD WEARING THAT THE WHOLE TIME? You see his clothes fly off when he jumps in the ring

“Whoa. In a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED TWIST, the announcer was Captain Crash THIS WHOLE TIME!” LP does underground wrestling matches in his spare time, TELL ME I’M WRONG

“YOUR CATCHPHRASES ARE FORCED!” I agree, Dewey could have done WAY BETTER

I like Louie just GLARING at the dude who insulted Dewey’s catchphrase

LP looks so proud of Huey

“I don’t care at all, why should I?” Methinks the snake man doth protest too much

I like how Jormungandr’s pupils are thinner during the climax. It shows off his true nature

Dewey should have been the one to do a spin attack, ya know, cuz he’s Sonic? I’ll go now

“The Pop never Stops.” That was better

WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHAIRS COMING FROM?!

I LEGIT thought Strongbeard was gonna throw Dewey his axe and I was like Dewey wouldn’t be able to lift that

SUPER SAIYAN DEWEY! Also was that a TIGER SNARL?

I like the ice pack on Launchpad’s head. Just because he can take a lot of damage doesn’t mean that LP is immune to pain

I like that the crowd CHANGED THEIR BANNERS! Nice

LOUIE AND WEBBY LOOKED SO CUTE!

LP tearing up

“A true people’s hero” I feel like that phrase will come back in relation to other characters (cough DW cough)

Scrooge is such a little shit, it’s kind of adorable

THAT END SHOT! THAT SONG!

This was a SUPER FUN EPISODE! I couldn’t really tell where they were going and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I wish we had gotten Huey in some wrestling gear but maybe next time. I like the message that doing the right thing isn’t always popular but I kind of feel like Dewey getting the crowd on his side muddled the message somewhat. Poor Dewey needs therapy or something so he doesn’t feel like he needs CONSTANT approval. Again, he’s 11 YEARS OLD and shouldn’t be put into such a serious position. LP was VIP this episode. I’m bummed we’re on hiatus again, but WHAT an episode to end on!

[bellamygateoldblog]

rate best to worst parental figures of the 100

worst → best (I tend to ramble throughout this, sorry!)

19 — Nia : I mean I don’t think an explanation is needed here lol. She burned Echo’s parents alive, it’s implied she then renamed her Ash, before forcing her into the identity of another child and filling her life with assassination and espionage. Mother Of The Year?

18 — Aurora : so firstly we have Octavia- who’s existence shouldn’t be. It was so incredibly irresponsible and selfish to subject her child to this life. If the ark hadn’t been dying and Octavia never caught, would she had been expected to grow old and die under the floor? Would Bellamy have spent his life, even after Aurora was long dead, being nothing more than his sister’s keeper?

And Bellamy- to manipulate your six year old son into believing it’s his responsbility to protect and care for his sister, so engrained into his mind and sense of self that he still lives by this mantra well into his 20s, to treat Bellamy being Octavia’s whole world as normal, having him go through his life with this small girl attached to him, entirely dependent on him, placing such a heavy weight onto a child- it’s UGH. No words, just a grunt.

He gave up his education and his personal life and he became a father when he was six years old. She took his life away.

This early family dynamic is at the root of ALL of Octavia and Bellamy’s major character traits, struggles and flaws, it drives them still, it’s effects are still felt and reinforced. BOO.

17 — Raven’s unnamed mother : And here is where I go off on a rant criticising the writing more than the actual mother. Just like Octavia, Raven was raised by another child, except in this case her mother is emotionally absent and said child is the same age as her (or younger) and thus i expect their experience and maturity levels are matched through their lives. Could this have bourne some co-dependency? Perhaps, but it’s never talked about i think because Raven’s backstory is practically a Schrödinger’s cat scenario with all the retconning that goes on. Like here- we recieved some more information in season six that directly contradicts what was already established of their mother-daughter relationship: “she never used me.”

*deadpan narrator voice* She did, however, use her.

That’s if we choose to accept this one as canon and not that one, god this writing is atrocious. Raven’s mother was neglectful, so much so that the only way she ate is through a boy sharing his own rations with her. Raven believes “she only had [her] so she could trade [Raven’s] rations for moonshine.” SHE DID USE HER DAUGHTER.

Furthermore, in season one she defended her mother (context: when a remark was made about selling sex in exchange for supplies), she tells her not to “dare talk about [her] mother that way” and i get the impression she at least respected her, but in season six she straight up calls her “a drunk who sold herself for booze.” In fact in season six she goes from being deluded one second- “she never used me”- to being scarily desensitised by a harsh reality the next, the same way she was in early seasons, speaking casually of her mother’s alcoholism. WHAT IS THE TRUTH? None of what we know of Raven’s family and backstory can coexist and yet here we are, talking about Raven’s family and backstory as if the writers ever cared enough to make it actually coherent.

16 — Murphy’s unnamed mother : did love him once, very much so, but let her grief poison her and turn her against her son. Another alcoholic/addict mother to add to the collection. We don’t have a lot of details about her, but the knowledge that she blamed her vulnerable little boy who had no control over his own health for the death of her husband who made his own conscious choice is enough for me to place her down here. The source of Murphy’s lack of self worth, *implied* intrusive thoughts, and difficulty connecting with others, and just in general sometimes being a total jackass. Yeah, it’s all her fault.

15 —  Clarke : like mother, like daughter. She electrocuted her child,  but what I find to be remarkably horrific about this is the simple fact  the device is the same one used to torture her in the  beginning of the season, the same one used by the so-called ‘villains’. She felt and endured the pain herself, and then decided subjecting her own daughter to that same treatment was an acceptable and necessary choice-  before leaving that decision completely redundant later by switching allegiance  and having Madi lead the army afterall. Madi was dependent on Clarke, the silent agreement is trust and respect, and this one singular  action showed Clarke violating everything it means to be a guardian and  protector. Also, she never apologised to Madi for this, nor did their relationship experience strain as a result when both of those  things absolutely should’ve happened. That’s my main gripe with the  relationship, the other being that it’s bourne of the same strain of  co-dependancy as the Blakes.

Something about Madi wanting to go to  school and be a regular child and Clarke responding to that with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me. At this point nobody cares about the Commander. Nobody- literally every single grounder is asleep- and, as her mother, Clarke has the right and the power to have Madi take out that damn flame to preserve her safety and youth and she doesn’t. She continues to let Gaia train her 12 year old for a dead position. Clarke is just as much culpable for the Sheidheda fiasco as Spacekru are for putting the flame into Madi’s head in the first place. That thing should’ve been removed as soon as it was no longer necessary. Clarke’s young, she had a child practically sprung upon her, and i want to give her the benefit of the doubt- but I won’t.

14 — Abby : I had no idea where to put Abby on this list and I think i’m being too generous but she’s a tricky one because I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad mother, not compared to the others on this list anyway, but the harsher aspects of her personality along with the high-stakes environment leads to the natural break down of her relationship with her daughter. I got the impression they were once close; Clarke is seen reaching out for her mother for comfort and validation multiple times during the first couple of seasons and she’s devastated and betrayed at the knowledge of what was Abby’s culpability in Jake’s death. Over time this falls apart. Abby never harms her biological daughter, but does have a very weird rival-like relationship with her, imo this being because they’re so similar. I can see so much Abby in Clarke and vice-versa. And they clash because of it, and Abby just doesn’t have any authority over Clarke, and over time their relationship distances to a point it lacks emotional value and other characteristics that make mother-daughter dynamics unique and meaningful. They love each other, no doubt about that, Abby’s been prepared to throw others to the wolves for her daughter a few times, just as Clarke does later in life. But the relationship between Abby and her daughter is strained from the beginning of the series, which makes her position as Clarke’s mother complicated.

Upon meeting Abby, Raven instantly viewed her through an almost idolistic lens- “relax, it’s a compliment, Abby’s a badass”- making me believe she latched onto this idea of The Mother She Never Had, and Abby’s first thoughts when encountering Raven were literally that she reminded her of her own daughter- “reminds me of someone.” This dynamic is absolutely intended as mother-daughter. While a mother-figure to Raven, though, Abby has directly and intentionally caused her harm. She’s electrocuted her, she;s then tried to avoid acknowledging her wrongness for that action- Raven in this moment of torture is as betrayed as Madi was by Clarke- she’s also hit her and while in a systematically higher position than her no less. These instances automatically make me wince away from the relationship because in no way does it come across as comfortable and safe for Raven. On the other hand, they’ve had a bunch of heartfelt moments even though they’re disguised as harsh jabs taken at one another. They’ve expressed the hard truth when nobody else will in times of the other’s vulnerability.

There is a stark contrast though between how she treats Clarke and how she treats Raven and the lack of biological relation, i think, is a buffer for Abby. IMHO i think her care for Raven is conditional, but unconditional for Clarke.

I don’t know what i should be feeling about her motherly-ness.

13 — Kane : I didn’t pay much attention to Kane’s dynamics, honestly, because I just didn’t like him, but as far as I’m aware he tried to do well by Octavia, Bellamy and Clarke, somewhat self-righteously and blaming, but trying is trying and he is always framed as in the right and morally superior so I guess that’s gotta count for something. This was all ruined during season five, though, with him attempting to have every one of them killed among other things. He didn’t appear concerned or reluctant- or anything about any of them.

12 —  Hannah : I think it’s safe to assume Monty had a good relationship with both of his parents pre-show. Hannah came across as misguided and manipulative towards Monty often, though, which i think came from both a place of love and desire to protect, but also, at points of most controlling, from a place of desperation and fear having already lost her husband. Honestly all I remember is not liking her very much so i’m placing her here in the middle/neutral area with Indra and Jaha.

11 — Indra : I place her here because we don’t actually have a lot of information about her relationship with Gaia. And I view her relationship with Octavia as mentor-mentee and eventually friends. They’ve had some sweet heart-to-heart moments, but i’ve always struggled to see the maternal connection. Octavia might be the daughter Gaia never was to Indra (I think Gaia might’ve even said this in the actual show?) but such a fond and pronounced memory of Aurora still exists within Octavia and with her very narrow-minded vision I don’t see her prepared to replace her or at the very least share that position with other people in her life. Indra is a stoic character, but it’s almost as if her emotional expression is reserved for Octavia. This speaks something of the closeness of their bond, but also tells us the climate between her and Gaia is more distant and troubled. There’s love there though- she was, afterall, planning to die so Gaia could live. Is this the only intended motherly sacrifice we’ve seen on the show?

The Blodreina of it all, while on one hand strengthened one dynamic, shattered the other. Indra is someone Octavia respected, trusted and listened to. I have to believe she was in the position to guide and advice her through the entireity of the time jump, but instead we saw her stand by and let Octavia slip further and further into her own darkness before turning on her in the most critical moment. And she might’ve tried and nothing worked, but really? You want me to try to make sense of this myself? The writers were on a quest to villainise Octavia and the fall of this relationship was a product rather than an intention.

10 — Jaha : he created a treasure, i’ll give him that. Admittedly we don’t know an awful lot about Wells or about his relationship with his father, but we do know he risked his own life to take care of Clarke, similar to Bellamy and to Raven who both also came to Earth to protect someone they loved. Both of those examples had terrible parents, so Wells’ goodness doesn’t necessarily mean we can credit Jaha, and as far as i can remember Wells never actually defended his father against the angry delinquents. Does him choosing to follow Clarke over staying with his father in space mean he must really love Clarke, or could it ellude to a certain father-son relationship not being as comfortable as it could be? When Jaha’s handed another child later on, he stops Kane giving him extra food because of something along the lines of: ‘he needs to learn the world’ so I think his parenting style may be more of the tough love and respect type. Wells is practical and strives to maintain order and squash rebelliousness thus his butting heads with the rest of the delinquents, but he has people’s best interests at heart (letting Clarke hate him rather than Abby, for example) and those are very Jaha characteristics i can see he inherited/observed and imitated.

9 — Monty and Harper : we only have a handful of information on this. Jordan has fond memories of them, but so does Octavia and Bellamy about their mother and we all know the truth about that one. Jordan is a backwards Octavia. Monty and Harper were all he had growing up, he wasn’t forced into hiding, but I can’t imagine it was a fun existence for him to grow up in isolation- watching the faces of other children behind the glass and never being able to wake them up to play. BUT his childhood is different to Octavia’s in a few ways that make a big difference and land them further up the list: 1) he’s clearly educated, 2) he has two loving parents even if they are all he has, 3) he has knowledge about the Earth, it’s story and the people from it so has a much stronger and more complex understanding of morality, meaning he’s less judgemental, and he’s also better prepared to interact with others by the time this oppurtunity arises.

They get points for leaving him in Bellamy’s hands, but are automatically relegated a few places for making Clarke his god mother.

8 — Bellamy : yes Bellamy is on this list because yes he is Octavia’s father and nothing you say matters. So every child he’s ever ‘adopted’ has died, but he tries his best to think of these children when nobody else was ever doing that. Octavia’s damaged and her more toxic traits have a tendancy to become amplified in times of high emotion, especially in the vicinity of her brother, but he was just as much a victim in all of this as she was and Aurora is entirely to blame for the disaster that is the Blake sibling relationship (I mean neither of them even had a frame of reference of what siblings look like, how were they to know how to relate to one another?).

He tries. He’s more equipped to and committed than most on this show to helping vulnerable people, he’s proven time and time again he’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect and love his sister, he gets it wrong sometimes, his efforts can be misguided and recieved differently than he might’ve intended them to be. But the facts are: he understands what it means to be a parent, he knows what it’s like to lose their child, he knows what it’s like to pour himself into someone else and hope for the best of them.

7 — Luna : she founded a clan and those people were, in a sense, her children. She kept them safe for years, it was peaceful, life was simple and fulfilling. Clarke observed her interactions with the actual children that lived there and they loved her, she was good with them. Her people respected her.

6 — Monty’s father : yet another heroic father to add to this fucking collectio-

5 —  Ginger dad : in one of the most heartbreaking scenes on this show to date, he does the David Miller thing, or i guess David Miller does The Ginger Dad Thing, and sacrifices his own life to pump more air into his child’s lungs.

4 — Murphy’s unnamed father : in a place you’ll be executed for petty crime, risking it all and stealing something as valuable as medicine just to give your son a chance at more life is commendable. He loved his son (literally) to death. It’s his memory and his sacrifice, like with Raven and Clarke, that pushes him to survive.

3 — Jake :  I think the show has demonstrated quite nicely that Clarke is a daddy’s girl. Jake The Good Engineer, Jake The Good Father, Jake The Hero. He inspires Clarke so much she goes to prison for it. And, like Sinclair-Raven, Clarke’s consciousness dreams him up whenever she’s in an intensely stressful situation and/or feeling hopeless about life and void of direction in general. This was a comfortable and secure bond, and his death marked the beginnings of Clarke’s entire story.

2 — David : easily one of the best fathers on the show, i mean he gave up the oppurtunity of claiming a spot in the bunker just so he could give his son better odds of surviving, he gave up the possibility of being in the bunker with his son. Another fatherly sacrifice for the collection. He loves Miller unconditionally, even when Miller himself feels like a disappointment.

1 — Sinclair : this was an obvious retcon, but still good as long as I don’t think about it. A cute father-figure, the mentor that took a chance on her, the first (or second) person to pick her. Everything about this relationship is sweet and healthy, a nice diversion from the usually exhaustingly complex dynamics. Their relationship was so meaningful, in fact, that it was him who Raven’s dying mind manifested to encourage her to go on living. 10/10.

(and don’t think i don’t peep that bad/cruel mothers, good/heroic fathers pattern here. These writers WACK…)

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 27

Last time: Awful ‘finale’ moments happened, the EEC count finally updated, and iTunes decided to be a jerk and leave me with an incomplete show in my videos tab for eternity. Onwards!

And we’re back, with Season Two/the next cour/however this crazy show is split up! We left off with some very annoying threads dangling (Ed/Ling/Envy crossing realities, Al and Greed about to meet The Big Bad, ect.), so let’s get to it! ...this is not the unresolved issues being resolved, this is a happy-go-lucky peasant bonfire. What does this have to do wit- BEARD! The Beard has been sighted, lurking on the fringes of the festivities. Is this where Papa Elric’s been hanging out after walking out (again) on his son all those episodes ago? What does he even do to pay the bills? (Besides being the ‘secret’ bad guy, I mean). GOOD, be sad and lonely as you sit over there, instead of being an actual father and oh my Leto who is this lady? Are you actually hooking up with someone else instead of taking care of… your… Pinako? I know that name… NO. PLEASE NO. AAAARGH IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT WE’RE STUCK IN A FLASHBACK EPISODE BUT NOW BEARD IS GETTING PROPOSITIONED FOR DRINKS BY GRANNY ROCKBELL WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND HE’S SMILING NO NO NO DO NOT DO THIS TO MY SHIP LETO SAVE ME

*ahem* I apologize for that. Let’s move on. New intro! A metallic arm reaching up from a field of white flowers, funky guitar music as the title comes up and we see it’s Ed lying on his back looking sad before Angry!Ed comes back and he beats up a poor flower and gets back up. Now he’s facing Titan!Envy, Gluttony, big dude who I guess is Sloth, Wrath… wait, what? Why is… *gets up, pulls off and throws down headphones, rushes to Tephi’s room* “Tephi?! Why is Ling wearing black? Why is Ling standing next to the goths?!” “*shrug* You should keep watching and find out.” AAAAAAAHHHHH. Ed looks about as pissed as I am right now, rushes forward before getting the crap beaten out of him. Roy in a white coat? Another flashback to the Ishvalan Civil War? Now FIRE EVERYWHERE as someone stands above the ashes oh hey Mister Smiley, I remember you from when you murdered the family of the guy who’s Determinedly Frowning onscreen now, I sure hope he comes across you someday! Roy looks into a fire then camera pans to stand next to Hughes (whyyyy), having a staring contest with Bradley. Back to Titan!Envy as he gets a visit from Dentist!Al, a TC making a Philosopher’s Stone that’s eaten by some smug dude in a white suit and fedora (It’s after Labor Day, dude. Get with the program.) More flashes of the now-defunct-Conspiracy in their white Civil War outfits looking sad INCLUDING MUSTACHELESS THE MIGHTY ARMSTRONG CRYING HOW DARE YOU SIR and a flash of yup I got a glimpse of Father not being in shadow at this point, that is clearly Beard without his glasses. Joy. And then they drive the point home with an eye zoom that turns to Glasses!Beard looking at a picture (hmmm, I wonder what picture it is? /[sarcasm]) at a campfire. Now dude with gun arm, sunglasses guy, giant tank and HELLO who is this lady? She just waved her sword and lo, there was an explosion thanks to her tank. New Badass Lady character? Ok, she’s standing at the head of the two guys who just showed up and a bunch of other dudes in fur-collared coats. Oh, hold up! Way back when Ed was talking about the neighbors of Amestris, how up north across the mountains there was a place with a shaky non-aggression treaty with them. Please tell me our boys get their own army.

Now lots of screaming people and a poor horse getting eaten by Gluttony, Ed staring down the Gate of Truth, that terrible scene of him getting pulled away from his brother in the in-between place, Al fighting and getting grabbed by white hands, Ed snapping out of his daydream back in the field and again going to smash the ground… but pausing at the last second to spare the little white flower. Alright, a good intro! Plenty of interesting moments, I’ve got high hopes for this next stretch of episodes. Episode 27 - “Interlude Party” We’ve got the happy-go-lucky plucky string music playing as peasant couples dance around the bonfire and Pinako drinks with Beard in the shadows, making me cry at the terrible terrible implications for my poor ship and saying it’s nice to let loose every now and then. Beard just drinks in silence like the socially-awkward absentee father he is, so Pinako rambles about finding happiness whenever you can, especially in a war-hungry country like Amestris. Just take Ishval, for example... [Lust(?)]: “And no matter how many times it happens they never learn. The human race is made up of violent, miserable fools.” RIOT TIME! Hold on, isn’t this the town that the Goth’s drove crazy after Father Cornello turned out to be a false priest? Ok, now it’s Ishval with the cannons going off and the Blue Eyes marching in. Some dude’s remarking Ishval and Liore have been crazy lately oh hi Hughes! Hmm, looks like flashbacks to all the mentions of Amestris’ conflicts, Ed talking about skirmishes with “Aerugo to the south and Creta to the west” and there it is, the northern country of Drachma! Come on, hurry up and get moving north you kids, I wanna see more of our new Intro characters! Back to the bonfire, a little girl has run up and asked Beard to dance with her. Aw! But he says he’ll just sit there, Pinako needles him about being old until the little girl gives up on the lost cause. [Pinako]: “That girl, so bossy. Weren’t your two boys around her age? When they started planning to bring back their mom?” Wait, what? But- Hold up, I remember this scene of the boys sitting at the grave, didn’t they follow Little!Winry back home for supper right after that? I definitely remember the argument between Ed and Granny Rockbell over supper, and she was just a little bit older then. What’s going on here? Wow. You’re just gonna go “Nah, no point in trying to talk to the boys about committing the Ultimate Taboo to try and bring back their dead mom and my dead wife. More booze, please!”. Father of the Year, everyone! Yup, we are definitely in a recap episode now, presumably this came after a good gap between this and the last cour to remind everyone of all the happy, cheerful times this show has given us! Like Dismembered!Ed crying out over the loss of his younger brother, witnessing the brief existence of the Thing in the TC, and sacrificing his arm to make Al into Soul Armor. Scenes of the Elric Brothers seeking the Stone, discovering the damning secret ingredient for the Stone… the bonfire collapses and the music gets melancholy as Beard looks on. Uh, something’s up with the shadows… “It’s remarkable how weak they are.” Aha, fabricated memory or somesuch! I knew the timing was off with Pinako’s age, this is all some sort of internal dialogue in Beard’s head! My ship is still safe! Huzzah! Ok, so there’s a split between Beard and Father, is what I’m getting here. Beard is still sitting in his rumpled brown coat nursing some booze, while Father is standing with face partially out of camera in nicer clothes, chiding humanity for their weakness and talking about their “one good use as a natural resource”. Aaaand Beard’s glasses are opaque again, he’s back to being Evil. Mid-show cards of Van Hohenheim (still gonna call him Beard) and Pinako Rockbell. Back to flashbacks! Ed’s found the secret Stone-making TC under the Fifth Laboratory, that great fight scene between Ed and the Brother Armor (one of the funniest scenes, too), Ed swearing that he sees Soul Armors as being human too and swearing he will never take the life of another person, #48 about to spoil the plot before Lust shuts him up, Ed encountering Goths for the first time, sudden jump at mention of “important sacrifice” to Gluttony cheerfully taking Al to see Father, Bradley mentioning that Teacher might be a worthy candidate as well (boo!), Lust “killing” potential sacrifice Roy, and Marcoh himself in his cell. Now it’s Hughes… with his last discovery before the Goths silenced him. Marcoh saying his (and my) theory of turning the entire country into a TC like Mr. Freeze did back in Episode 1. [Pinako]: “You’ve always known about their plans, haven’t you? Well, Hohenheim?” Beard finally admits to- wait, what? [Beard]: “Even if I’d spoken up, warned them, it wouldn’t have changed anything.” What do you mean, “warned them”? Of course you wouldn’t warn them about your own scheme, what is Figment!Pinako talking about?

Beard is saying he’s watched humanity for a long time now (How long? And just how is Beard so long-lived? I get he created the Goths, or at least I thought so before Pinako’s line just now…), and he just sees them make the same mistakes again and again- uh, some of the dancers just bumped into each other and exploded, scattering blood on some very confused girls. [Beard]: “They’re so fragile… how could they not break?” Flashes of the Homunculii healing/hulking out, Gluttony going Gate, Bradley revealing his status to Greed as Wrath and kicking his butt, Roy getting tricked by Raven (jerk) to Bradley’s “so let’s discuss potential human sacrifices, my military officials” meeting, the first flashes of Father as Beard talks about how humans lack the strengths of the Goths, they can’t defend themselves. [Pinako]: “But that won’t make us give up. We will never give up!” You go, Mental Pinako! Kick his arguments to the curb! Ha! It’s working, Beard is admitting that it’s a human characteristic (flashes of Badass Roy killing Lust, Ed defying Greed and working out his weakness, Al arguing with Scar in defense of Alchemy, Scar’s brother protecting him from Mister Smiley’s attack and giving his own arm to save his life, Lan Fan giving up her own arm just to distract Wrath after Ling saved her life…) [Pinako]: “They can put us through hell, but it doesn’t matter! Nothing they can do will make us give up! And some day we will win!” Damnit, now Father’s in on the debate, Beard’s vanished for this argument. Father’s saying Pinako can’t change anything, everyone will die and she’ll be left with nothing. He says the only smart thing to do is grab what’s important and run away, suddenly he’s seized her and [Father]: “You act like you have a conscience, but you’re just being sentimental. Isn’t that right, Hohenheim?” Pinako!Mask removed to show Beard, not very happy with this new development. [Father]: “You think you can change things? You honestly believe one act of caring will make you human?!” Beard is gasping for breath as Father rants about how humans are just a resource, left unchecked they will spread like weeds, their basic nature can’t be changed. Beard… Beard slowly leans forward, glasses going opaque. His hands still- Someone’s grabbed his hands, a young woman with short brown hair. [?]: “We will change. Because we can change! I know it. We may be weak, but we just have to be. If not, then we wouldn’t have any reason to go out, to get strong. I know that it may seem futile to you, but it’s not. Because we are getting stronger with every step we take.”

*credits music has started up* [Roy]: “And in turn they’ll protect the ones they love. It seems like the least we tiny humans can do for eachother.” [Ling]: “I-I wasn’t ready for this. Lan Fan was, though. She made the decision that I was too weak to make.” [Al]: “I’m sick of watching people die! And I can’t just sit back and take it anymore! I won’t let anyone else get killed! Not when I can protect them!” [Ed]: “I won’t run away from this.” [Ed]: “We’ll knock that jerk Truth on his butt!” [Ed]: “Al! Al, come on! Please! Hurry, Al!...” [Ed]: “Alphonse! Look at me! I’ll come back! Just you wait!” [?]: “You see? I’m sure we can change! Because we’re weak. And because we die. We have to fight in order to live! And that’s what will make us strong. And if that’s not enough? If you’re still not convinced that we can change?” Yes, yes, I know this can’t last because we have so much show left but Leto damn it if it isn’t awesome to see Beard’s glasses clear again [!!!]: “Then think about us.” It’s Mama Elric! [Mama Elric!!!]: “All of the days we spent with our family in Resembool.” And now Beard is sitting on a moss-covered log in daylight, green grass around and petals slowly falling. He has a blank look on his face, seeing Pinako and Mama Elric and his boys and so many other people standing in front of him. Little Al’s shirt hardly fits him as he clutches Mama Elric’s skirt, Little Ed stands arms crossed trying to look tough- Then geese fly by, and Beard wakes up. He looks over the pristine lake and mountains he made a campfire at, gives a slight smile at the realization he was dreaming, and moves on- after he pauses, looks back at an empty bottle of booze, and says “Thanks for all the help.” ...so, good recap episode, but what the Leto is going on with Beard? Isn’t he supposed to be lurking under Central? Ooh, new credits! We’re at Rush Valley, zoom in to Atelier Garfiel where Winry’s hard at work, looks up and smiles to a lens flare for ok sure, totally necessary for her unzipped uniform while she moves boxes, moving on. Or I guess that’s just staying tied down as she tinkers with tech and banters with customers, now she’s happily talking on the phone with her friend Ed (NOT Al- edited for an earlier typo, thanks TonyC) based on how she’s suddenly screaming into the receiver before she grumpily subsides and then blushes(!). New girl! Lan Fan, rocking the empty sleeve look. May Chang happily walking along with Shao May. Back to the closed automail shop where Winry is still working (get some sleep for Leto’s sake!), now opening the shutter the next day and greeting the sun. Man, I wish I was that happy to work in retail.