#bonnie harder to draw than i initially thought

[shaibonbon]

What’s ur favorite type of horror?

Probably mascot horror bc of childhood, or physiological horror

[metanarrates]

since youve finished isat, id love to hear if post-act 4 changed your mind on any aspect of the game! (character/overall game rating, theories, opinions on certain things, anything you didnt expect to enjoy as much as you did, etc)

i liked the game post act-4 a lot! the characters really ended up growing on me. i think a lot of my initial dislike of parts of the game came down both to personal taste and the game being perhaps a little clunky in its beginning stages. I'd certainly recommend it now to anyone whose personal taste is a little less averse to certain types of prose and to found family plots than my own taste tends to be. it's got some great stuff in it!

spoilers all below

theorywise I was guessing all through act 5 what siffrin's wish was, and it clicked for me during the mal du pays scene. i was actually a little surprised that the king's wish wasn't one of the wishes that contributed to the loop - I had been thinking that the time loop was likely a result of vaugarde's wish to be saved and the king's wish for eternity almost canceling each other's out, and siffrin's wish to stay with his party creating sort of a paradox state where all three wishes were fulfilled via the loop. id figured that the king getting frozen in the final fight took his wish out of commission which is part of why the loop was able to end. but that doesn't seem to be part of it, which is fine.

the ending scenes were pretty good btw! there were some parts of the end conversations with the party that were a tad cloying for my taste, but I felt like mirabelle saying that they'd hash out being mad at siffrin later smoothed it over enough where I accepted it as an ending. I did end up being touched more than expected than everyone trying to help siffrin. odile stopping them from looping had me straight up cheering in voice chat! and i felt it was the right ending for this story for everyone to stay traveling together :)

I was spoiled on the loop stuff beforehand due to a mutual blogging about the game a bunch (everyone say thank you @entryn17 for getting me into the game and to enthusiastically letting me chat their ear off in dms about it!) but i was still SHOCKED at how great it was. i already loved that freak but now they're an all time fave. person who is Not Normal about their clone getting out while they just get fucked up. also person who says this as they're about to attempt murder <3

I'd been pretty vocal about my dislike for siffrin as a character (not a fan of characters who quip all the time to Hide Their Feelings; i find it gets annoying easily) but now i think they're pretty great. he's got a lot of traits I find unenjoyable, but there's plenty of stuff I love if I look past the stuff that isn't to my taste. absolutely loved everything with them losing their home and their desperate desire to hold onto the people they care about and also their spiral into self destructiveness. i thought the entirety of act 5-6 did excellent things with his character. (the king parallels went CRAZY.) I wouldn't consider siffrin a favorite, but I really do see why someone would.

speaking of unexpected favorites, odile's relationship with siffrin actually ended up being my favorite in the game! I'd already liked her character a ton, but completing the side quest where she finds out that siffrin is a time traveler cemented her as a favorite, and her dynamic with siffrin as one of the most interesting in the game. she cares for him in a far blunter way than anyone else does, and her proclivity for noticing things and not allowing bullshit creates a relationship that draws such interesting character facets out of each of them. they're parallels, they're friends, and they're both travellers who lack roots. it's good!

both bonnie and mirabelle also had great stuff in acts 3-6, though I admit to thinking that both of them could have had the knife twisted a tad harder in act 5. i super love mirabelle, and the last conversation she had with siffrin was by far my favorite in that segment. yes girl open up to people and demand honesty from yourself and those around you! and a lot of bonnies jokes in the last segments made me laugh a lot more than I expected to.

still an isabeau disliker </3 I'm less negative on him than i was, but I just don't like most romance so I didn't enjoy his last scene. sorry isafrin enjoyers. i thought him in protector mode during both the king and Big Siffrin fights was unexpectedly great. he's just not my taste as a character, but I have no real quarrel with him being in the game. I just wish there was more I liked about him.

but overall the game was very good! the music and art in the last bits were especially excellent. i actually apologize a bit for being overly snarky in my first parts of the game - I was having some personal stuff going on, which I think caused me to be a little less open to looking past things that annoyed me than I otherwise would be. now that I've given the game more of a chance I had a blast playing! and i would officially consider myself A Fan now :)

[nerdtrash-iteration]

(Re)watching Doctor Who: series 9

So this is where the infamous pair Heaven Sent and Hell Bent reside. You’ll see my feelings on the latter are rather lengthy. Let’s see how we did here. Series 9 (Twelfth Doctor)

9.X1: Last Christmas I loved this Christmas special. I thought it was a great homage to both the Alien franchise and Inception. The guest cast were really fun (especially Santa Claus), the plot kept me interested and there were many very sweet character moments. Loved Danny Pink’s brief return and the sleigh scene at the end especially. Bit awkward at the end with the fake-out of Clara leaving, you can really tell it was a rewrite. But I really enjoyed this one. 9.1: The Magician’s Apprentice Excellent opening episode. A cold open that immediately grabbed me, love the confirmation of Clara’s bisexuality and Missy is very welcome back. I wasn’t a huge fan of how they found the Doctor, felt a bit too contrived for my liking. Also wasn’t fond of his guitar antics and the whole notion of his last day alive. Felt a bit ehh. But I love all the character interactions here and the reveal of Skaro was fantastic. 9.2: The Witch’s Familiar A great 2nd part to the first story of this series. I adore Missy’s interactions with Clara, I highkey ship them but I do also ship Missy with everyone. It was also really interesting to see the Doctor and Davros have a civil-ish conversation. I still haven’t watched the classic era yet so I currently only know Davros from the series 4 finale. He didn’t really wow me there but I quite like this more complex portrayal of him. The Daleks are quite fun here, especially when Missy messes with them. It was a bit disappointing to see Davros double-cross the Doctor, I really thought they would try something different with him. Also sad that the Doctor just knew the whole time, made the interaction seem more fake. I feel the connection to the opening is a taaaaad tenuous with how old Davros is influenced by it, wish that had been a bit clearer. But I’ll allow it. 9.3 + 9.4: Under the Lake + Before the Flood I was so disappointed in this story. It’s hard for me to judge the two episodes separately so I’ll just talk about the story overall. I was quite bored throughout. Found the ghost design quite generic and not scary, the explanation of the mystery was absolutely batshit and I really didn’t care for it. I thought the plot resolution was pretty good and kinda cool how the Doctor transported himself to the future. Also cool that 2nd half took place in the past and ended up causing the flood. I love a good bootstrap paradox. But the reveal that his ghost was a hologram really felt like a cop-out. The guest cast were initially quite awkward but did grow on me in the 2nd part. I also was glad they wrote a deaf character with agency and made her the leader of the team. I saw Toby Whithouse wrote this, so I wasn’t surprised both the Doctor and Clara referred to the pilot as “he/she/it”. He has written some lowkey transphobic lines in the show before. That one isn’t that bad but just sounds so awkward. No-one uses the pronoun “it”. And just say “they”. Overall quite a disappointing story for me after that great first one. 9.5: The Girl Who Died I set my expectations a bit lower after that previous story. But this one was quite fun! Nice to have something a bit more light-hearted. Aschildr was fun but I didn’t feel she was very well-developed at this point. Kinda the generic “I’m not like other girls” trope used here. The Mire were an interesting race in how they survived on their reputation. The ragtag amateur feel of the finale was fun, with the use of electric eels. I thought Aschildr using the hologram technology to project the image of a sea serpent was a biiiit of a stretch though. Also some of Clara’s interactions just feel a bit awkward here. I thought the decision to basically make Aschildr immortal was very ethically dodgy on the Doctor’s part but I’m curious to see how it plays out in the next episode. 9.6: The Woman Who Lived Ah I loved this episode! It was so fun. I appreciated how simple its plot was and that it largely focused on the Doctor and Aschildr’s interactions. She was a lot more interesting in this episode, with some really great dialogue between her and the Doctor about immortality. Sam the Swift was really fun too. A really enjoyable episode. 9.7 + 9.8: The Zygon Invasion + The Zygon Inversion This is a very flawed story but one I still really enjoyed. Really felt like a proper sequel to the Zygon subplot in Day of the Doctor with how big in scale and budget it was. Really love to see Osgood(s) back and Kate Stewart. I really like the horror vibe the first part has especially with building in suspense. I think Osgood’s refusal to be defined as human or Zygon is thematically brilliant and her interactions with the Doctor are great. Love the Doctor calling Bonnie “Zygella”. I do find some of the plot details quiet frustrating though. Like the mechanism for the Zygons keeping a human form was very confusing. Also the radical Zygons’ plan just seemed really stupid? Like the humans outnumber you by a lot, they will kill you and your plan will be pointless. Also a bit disappointed in how Kate’s cliffhanger was resolved. Just shooting the Zygon in front of her, wow. But the speech at the end, damn. The two boxes and everything the Doctor said was amazing. Loved that. Overall a very enjoyable if flawed story. 9.9: Sleep No More Yiiiiiiiiiikes. I was warned this episode was underwelming and yeah, it be. It doesn’t make me angry though, just disappointed and confused. I absolutely adore the premise. Late-stage evil space capitalism not even letting workers sleep, absolutely brilliant. I can even roll with the idea of the change in brain chemistry making sleep dust into monsters somehow, sure. But all of the bonkers twists and attempts at being meta really frustrated me. It was just too many ridiculous ideas that we were expected to just accept and appreciate. Twists don’t necessarily make your story better, especially if you’ve just put one in to try and get a reaction from the audience. They work when they make sense in the story and add texture to it. The Doctor said it best: “None of this makes any sense”. 9.10: Face the Raven Oh faaaaaaaack. I hadn’t been watching Doctor Who for a while as I hadn’t been super feeling series 9. While I have enjoyed many of the stories up until now, I was frustrated by the lack of season arc. Felt like it wasn’t really focused on anything, besides vague notions of the Doctor’s confession dial and the Hybrid. Then just today I got in the mood to try to continue. Yeah this episode was a massive punch in the gut. I was immediately grabbed by the premise and the setting and having Rigsy and Ashildr back. I got so excited when they used trap streets!!! I just learned about them recently, they’re so fascinating. I loved the street itself and how Ashildr keeps the peace. It was really ruthless but narratively very interesting. I found the plot a taaaaaad contrived. Surely there were easier ways to get the Doctor and his confession dial and TARDIS key. But for character interactions were spot-on. Also I knew this was when Clara dies but the scene where they realise it left me a weeping mess. Like tears streaming down my face. Also the soundtrack in this episode was a bop. Fantastic episode, great way to pull me back in to Doctor Who. 9.11: Heaven Sent Okay so I’ve had this episode hyped for me for a good while. I’ve seen Doctor Who YouTube commentators call it their favourite episode. Personally there are episodes I enjoy more just because they tap into what I personally love in a story. But this still really impressed me. I love how good the episode looks, it really does feel special and cinematic. The twist is absolutely genius and I could not have predicted it. Everything about the harder-than-diamond wall was great. The ending montage was so emotional. Not my favourite but it certainly earns its reputation. 9.12: Hell Bent I was honestly tempted to just key-smash with this one because what the faaaaaaaaaaaaaack. In contrast to Heaven Sent, I’ve had others warn me that Hell Bent was their least favourite episode. And yeah, this ain’t it. I tried going in with an open mind but there are just too many things that annoy me. I personally really dislike the Time Lords as a presence in a story as they often do not feel like real characters. Just a vague annoying bureaucratic threat with very empty lore tied to them. “We must stop the Doctor, he bad, for reasons” is the feel I often get with them, it’s very annoying. The motivations of the various Time Lords and Sisters of Karn used here were also very unclear. One minute some are helping the Doctor, the next he’s against them all. Things were just happening too fast to keep up. Also why is there barely any significance made of the Doctor finally returning to Gallifrey???? Clara even asks “How did they get unfrozen?” and the Doctor says “I didn’t ask”. Just felt like the writers saying “Yeah we’re bored with this really important character arc that was set up all the way back in 2005, never mind”. I just thought the performance of the woman in the barn was really silly, with her wordlessly gesturing to the Doctor to come to the door to see the soldiers. I hated seeing a Gallifreyan crowd just surround the Doctor and silently applaud him like a hive mind for drawing a line in the sand. The whole thing with the soldiers going to the Doctor’s side one at a time just felt silly to me. That is a good idea in a story but something about the execution just felt off. It was cool to learn that the Cloister Bell in the TARDIS was likely linked with the basement cloisters on Gallifrey. But the cloisters themselves felt very underused and just thrown in there. After a lot of thought and seeking other hot takes on the episode, I see the Doctor’s real plan had feck all to do with the Hybrid (now a cursed word for me) and was just to save Clara. Which isn’t a bad idea necessarily but the choices so many characters make just felt so silly. Something about the script just didn’t work, like the actors were kids playing pretend and making up their own lines as they went. I really liked Clara as a companion (especially in series 8) but she had a good death in Face the Raven that fit her character, let her be. I really love the relationship between her and Twelve (especially how it’s the focus of series 8) but I think this is just a stretch. To shoot a Time Lord to kill, to go as far as he does, it just didn’t ring true. The rehash of the memory wipe from series 4 annoyed me, and there was a throwaway line as to why it was necessary and it just didn’t feel right. It just felt like “Ummmm we need a sad and dramatic end, this will work!!!”. And it just felt so unsatisfying and empty. Again like kids playing pretend and then they decide a character dies or gets amnesia to be dramatic. I was already not a fan of the series arc here (or lack thereof) and this really cemented it as the worst arc in revived Doctor Who so far for me. I see why RTD’s mystery box phrase might not be for everyone but at least they all led to something. “The Hybrid” was just a phrase that kept be dangled over our heads and ultimately meant nothing. It’s like a McGuffin but worse. It’s not an object to move the plot, it’s just nothing. “Oh no, Clara, through my selfish actions, I see now that I am the Hybrid!” No. It just felt like a contrivance made to get the Time Lords angry with the Doctor and it turns out they caused their own problems by bringing the Doctor to them and he ended up being their worst nightmare. There should be something poetic or ironic in that but it didn’t feel concrete enough for me to care. Ummmmm things I liked: -Another gender-swap regeneration, that was cool. Also T’nia Miller! I recognised her from Sex Education. -I always like seeing Ashildr and the Doctor muse over immortality. I liked seeing her at the end of the universe, even some of their musings over the Hybrid were kinda interesting. -Some of the Doctor’s dialogue before losing his memory was funny, like never eating pears. 9.X2: The Husbands of River Song This was quite a fun special! Definitely needed after how series 9 ended. The robot with the replaceable heads was fun, didn’t know this was when we first meet Nardole and it was nice to have River back. Her characterisation felt slightly off to me, like she was a bit too zany. But it’s probably just been a while since I’ve last seen her. Her not recognising the Doctor felt a bit too drawn out for me but the scene where she realises it is lovely. As is her ending scene, even if it sliiiiiightly goes against canon but whatever. I don’t know how to feel about her certainty that the Doctor never loved her. I myself did doubt their romantic connection as it more so felt like we were being TOLD they were a couple rather than believably showing it. I do believe the Doctor can fall in love but that it’s very rare and probably in a manner that humans might not appreciate. I think he was a monolith who loved her back but probably just not to the extent she wanted. So series 9 didn’t feel as cohesive in theme compared to series 8. I really liked many of the individual episodes but it didn’t feel like the series was really about anything. And that’s confirmed when we learn the Hybrid is basically nothing. I wish Clara got a better send-off, seeing her fly off in her own TARDIS with Ashildr just fell flat for me. We still got some great stories here if you just ignore the Hybrid arc.

[syafdesigns]

Planning 2 - Independent Narrative Project

Pre-considerations

I am aware that I have somehow limited drawing ability especially when it comes to drawing people or faces. Instead, I find it easier to draw objects. Therefore, I consider of using objects as main tools to tell my chosen narrative and these objects would be a representative of something; in other words, they serve as signs as taught in the fourth lecture (semiotics). 

Moreover, I am also intrigued by colour theory, typography and composition as I always love the dynamism of colours and I have yet to experiment the other two in my previous projects. As such, for this project, I would be focusing on these four aspects (semiotics/abstraction included). 

Evaluative Research  

Brainstorming of Ideas

Initially, when I thought of typography, I thought of a lyric video because I believe that visuals help audience gain better understanding of songs. This is imperative as whenever we listen to songs, we are hooked to the beat & rhythm and we would end up overlooking the lyrics as well as the meaning behind it. 

Then, the first song that came into my mind was Robbers by the 1975 which is inspired by the movie True Romance. The song revolves around a couple having a toxic relationship — they love each other so much at the expense of their relationship with other people in their lives. Despite that, they insist to stay together and love unconditionally but hiccups are bound to occur — one party would start to doubt whether this is worth all the risks. 

After delving into the storyline, I realise how this “toxic relationship” has often been romanticized in pop culture. Bonnie & Clyde become one of the ideal relationship because it seems “exciting”, “adventurous”, “adrenaline inducing”. Other recent example is Batman’s Joker & Harley Quinn where people refer them as “Relationship Goals” especially when the movie Suicide Squad was released last year. This then sparked a controversy which can be found here and here. 

Therefore, I chose this song because I feel the lyrics and the storyline could perpetuate the glamorization of “toxic relationship” especially towards the end of the song where she decides to stay although deep down she wants to leave. 

I have decided to solely focus on the third verse and here is my analysis of each line of the lyric:  

Well, now that you've got your gun 

Gun represents violence and a tool to kill something. For this case, the girl has a gun and she intends to end her relationship (as inferred from the next line) because it’s getting too toxic & destructive.

It's much harder now the police have come 

It’s hard to end the relationship and to revert everything because what they have done is undoable. And the police here serve as reality which highlights the destructive impact of their relationship have become apparent, it’s hard to ignore it. 

Now I'll shoot him if it's what you ask 

Despite everything, he wanting to “shoot” shows how he still loves her unconditionally as interpreted from “if it’s what you ask”. Therefore, he still wants to continue the relationship. 

But if you just take off your mask you'd find out everything's gone wrong.

To reiterate the second line where their impact is irreversible. The mask here suggests how she is sheltered from seeing the reality whilst being in love. The mask also functions as balaclava (stated earlier in the song) which alludes to robbery (reiterates the song title).  

Now everybody's dead 

It’s a metaphor for the end of their relationship with other people in their lives. Thus, they don’t have anyone else except one another. 

And they're driving past my old school 

Old school serves as a flashback of their old memories, their old selves which could be inferred to their innocent times. 

He's got his gun, he's got his suit on 

This reinforces how he still wants the relationship and refused to end it 

She says, "Babe, you look so cool, you look so cool, you look so coo-o-o-oo-oo-ool. You look so cool, you look so cool, you look so coo-o-o-oo-oo-ool."

Upon realisation of her impact and being persuaded by him, she decides to carry on and follow him. The quote “Babe, you look so cool” is directly taken from the movie True Romance. 

Conceptualisation

As such, I want to change the ending of the song where she would leave the relationship instead of staying so as to convey the message that it is necessary and in fact, it is possible to leave a toxic relationship. 

On top of that, using a lyric video would be useful as it would bring up the meaning of the song through the use of visuals. This would not only help to impart the message of the song easily but it would also serve as a reminder to be aware of the such songs that could bring about negative messages. If we are not mindful of it, we may end up subconsciously accept these messages. 

Overall, the whole idea is to illustrate how strong love can be that it can be at high costs on others and especially oneself. The worse part of this is that one may not realise it until it’s too late. The power of love could therefore be a double-edged sword and boundaries need to be set. 

With this, I would be focusing and emphasizing on the detrimental impact of their relationship. To achieve this, I would be using signs&symbols as I have pre-planned. 

I would be focusing on objects such as gun, fire and blood as it altogether signifies destruction. I would also be using warm colours (which would be further elaborated later) to underscore the destruction and add another layer of their relationship ie strong passionate love. Lastly, I would be adding words (typography) around it, making it seems like a frame by frame lyric video. 

Goals & Objectives

There are two main goals: 

Conveying the moral of the story: Love could be the best thing but it could be the worst thing if it’s not controlled. Thus, I hope this narration would prompt people to give thought on their relationship and reflect if there are any underlying cracks that need to be addressed before it’s too late. Also, I hope this narration would encourage those who are in fact in a toxic relationship to leave or at least seek for help. 

I hope from this, people would realise the meaning of the song and see how powerful visuals could as an instrument to convey song messages effectively. We always take songs for granted and I hope people would now listen to songs in depth and with awareness.  

Audience Identification

The audience for this case is music listeners especially amongst teenagers & young adults as they are culturally pop-centred and the song is based on teens falling in love. This lyric frame by frame could be converted into a video and put on youtube – a platform where music videos are posted. 

Design and Layout

Layout

I have decided to put this on a black paper and using the rule of third ratio (2:3), I would spread 4 frames on an A4 paper. Since I need 8 frames, I would need 2 A4 Papers. At first, I wanted to condense everything on one paper but I realise how small it would be considering I need to put words on the frames. 

Font & Typography

I am going to use sans serif for my typography so that it would be easier to read and it would be in capital letters so as to make it informal and reader friendly. This would make it more appealing to the targeted audience. 

I am inspired by the font DK Liquid Embrace. 

Although I could make use digital typography, I have decided to do it handwritten so as to make it more authentic and I hardly experiment with hands-on typography. As such, I would be trying to follow the font above. 

Colour

As mentioned, I want to be using warm temperature colours such as red and orange. 

Based on research, Red is known to represent love, passion and it is characterized to be daring, determined and aggressive. Orange would further reinforce it as they are whispering colours so they share similar characteristics. These characteristics complement the nature of the toxic relationship — when it’s “too much”, can be aggressive. 

However, I would be using red and orange deliberately for certain instances. I would not be using it throughout. Instead, for generic drawing, I decide to use white against the black paper. The reason why I choose it to be on black paper instead of white is because I want the narrative to be negative-concentrated rather than positive-concentrated so it sets the backdrop of the storyline. 

DRAFT 0 (sketches)

DRAFT 1

There is a constant use of typography to put the lyrics on each frame and the visual would reflect the lyrics, adding value to the meaning & making the meaning more apparent to the viewers.

Low angle (Gun) vs High angle (Couple): Former suggest low power, harder to execute whilst the latter shows higher power. This reflects her difficulty to end her relationship as she deep down still wants to continue. | Rule of 3rd: Gun is placed diagonally across two points to add emphasis to the object.

Scale: Large(fire, destruction) vs Small (them): Former to emphasise the extent of destruction and the latter shows how powerful and dangerous they are together despite being ‘small’. | Colour: Orange – reflects their burning passion relationship. | Figure & Ground: them vs fire – latter acts as  backdrop, the gist of their relationship. | Rhythm & Movement: Could be seen on typography and the fire which lowkey creates harmony in their relationship.

Low angle (man) vs High angle (gun): Former suggests low power and latter suggests high power which is controlled by his unconditional love for her. | Symbol: Heart-shaped gun bullet – emphasise that his decision is mainly powered by love. | Rule of 3rd: diagonal & emphasis that is further reinforced by the continuity of the bullet.

Negative space (girl) vs Positive space (mask): Shows how the mask which represents her relationship shelters her from seeing the reality. Negative space on the girl (removal of the mask) reflects her seeing the reality (beyond her relationship).

Lines & Symbol (downward spiral): Often alludes to a situation where something continuously decreases or gets worse.

Lines (to create a form): Line of heart beat also serves as the “roof” for the school” which suggests liveliness as juxtaposed to the previous frame. To compare past and present.

Scale: Large scale to emphasise the two objects: gun and suit in relation to the lyric.

Scale: Large scale of the words to emphasise the meaning of the words especially when it is taken from the movie True Romance. This is to underscore her compliance to continue the relationship as she realises she still loves him.

[readbookywooks]

12. Staying quietly in bed is harder after that. I want to be doing something, finding out more about District 13 or helping in the cause to bring down the Capitol. Instead I sit around stuffing myself with cheese buns and watching Peeta sketch. Haymitch stops by occasionally to bring me news from town, which is always bad. More people being punished or dropping from starvation. Winter has begun to withdraw by the time my foot is deemed usable. My mother gives me exercises to do and lets me walk on my own a bit. I go to sleep one night, determined to go into town the next morning, but I awake to find Venia, Octavia, and Flavius grinning down at me. "Surprise!" they squeal. "We're here early!" After I took that lash in the face, Haymitch got their visit pushed back several months so I could heal up. I wasn't expecting them for another three weeks. But I try to act delighted that my bridal photo shoot is here at last. My mother hung up all the dresses, so they're ready to go, but to be honest, I haven't even tried one on. After the usual histrionics about the deteriorated state of my beauty, they get right down to business. Their biggest concern is my face, although I think my mother did a pretty remarkable job healing it. There's just a pale pink strip across my cheekbone. The whipping's not common knowledge, so I tell them I slipped on the ice and cut it. And then I realize that's my same excuse for hurting my foot, which is going to make walking in high heels a problem. But Flavius, Octavia, and Venia aren't the suspicious types, so I'm safe there. Since I only have to look hairless for a few hours instead of several weeks, I get to be shaved instead of waxed. I still have to soak in a tub of something, but it isn't vile, and we're on to my hair and makeup before I know it. The team, as usual, is full of news, which I usually do my best to tune out. But then Octavia makes a comment that catches my attention. It's a passing remark, really, about how she couldn't get shrimp for a party, but it tugs at me. "Why couldn't you get shrimp? Is it out of season?" I ask. "Oh, Katniss, we haven't been able to get any seafood for weeks!" says Octavia. "You know, because the weather's been so bad in District Four." My mind starts buzzing. No seafood. For weeks. From District 4. The barely concealed rage in the crowd during the Victory Tour. And suddenly I am absolutely sure that District 4 has revolted. I begin to question them casually about what other hardships this winter has brought them. They are not used to want, so any little disruption in supply makes an impact on them. By the time I'm ready to be dressed, their complaints about the difficulty of getting different products - from crabmeat to music chips to ribbons - has given me a sense of which districts might actually be rebelling. Seafood from District 4. Electronic gadgets from District 3. And, of course, fabrics from District 8. The thought of such widespread rebellion has me quivering with fear and excitement. I want to ask them more, but Cinna appears to give me a hug and check my makeup. His attention goes right to the scar on my cheek. Somehow I don't think he believes the slipping-on-the-ice story, but he doesn't question it. He simply adjusts the powder on my face, and what little you can see of the lash mark vanishes. Downstairs, the living room has been cleared and lit for the photo shoot. Effie's having a fine time ordering everybody around, keeping us all on schedule. It's probably a good thing, because there are six gowns and each one requires its own headpiece, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, setting, and lighting. Creamy lace and pink roses and ringlets. Ivory satin and gold tattoos and greenery. A sheath of diamonds and jeweled veil and moonlight. Heavy white silk and sleeves that fall from my wrist to the floor, and pearls. The moment one shot has been approved, we move right into preparing for the next. I feel like dough, being kneaded and reshaped again and again. My mother manages to feed me bits of food and sips of tea while they work on me, but by the time the shoot is over, I'm starving and exhausted. I'm hoping to spend some time with Cinna now, but Effie whisks everybody out the door and I have to make do with the promise of a phone call. Evening has fallen and my foot hurts from all the crazy shoes, so I abandon any thoughts of going into town. Instead I go upstairs and wash away the layers of makeup and conditioners and dyes and then go down to dry my hair by the fire. Prim, who came home from school in time to see the last two dresses, chatters on about them with my mother. They both seem overly happy about the photo shoot. When I fall into bed, I realize it's because they think it means I'm safe. That the Capitol has overlooked my interference with the whipping since no one is going to go to such trouble and expense for someone they plan on killing, anyway. Right. In my nightmare, I'm dressed in the silk bridal gown, but it's torn and muddy. The long sleeves keep getting caught on thorns and branches as I run through the woods. The pack of muttation tributes draws closer and closer until it overcomes me with hot breath and dripping fangs and I scream myself awake. It's too close to dawn to bother trying to get back to sleep. Besides, today I really have to get out and talk to someone. Gale will be unreachable in the mines. But I need Haymitch or Peeta or somebody to share the burden of all that has happened to me since I went to the lake. Fleeing outlaws, electrified fences, an independent District 13, shortages in the Capitol. Everything. I eat breakfast with my mother and Prim and head out in search of a confidant. The air's warm with hopeful hints of spring in it. Spring would be a good time for an uprising, I think. Everyone feels less vulnerable once winter passes. Peeta's not home. I guess he's already gone into town. I'm surprised to see Haymitch moving around his kitchen so early, though. I walk into his house without knocking. I can hear Hazelle upstairs, sweeping the floors of the now-spotless house. Haymitch isn't flat-out drunk, but he doesn't look too steady, either. I guess the rumors about Ripper being back in business are true. I'm thinking maybe I better let him just go to bed, when he suggests a walk to town. Haymitch and I can speak in a kind of shorthand now. In a few minutes I've updated him and he's told me about rumors of uprisings in Districts 7 and 11 as well. If my hunches are right, this would mean almost half the districts have at least attempted to rebel. "Do you still think it won't work here?" I ask. "Not yet. Those other districts, they're much larger. Even if half the people cower in their homes, the rebels stand a chance. Here in Twelve, it's got to be all of us or nothing," he says. I hadn't thought of that. How we lack strength of numbers. "But maybe at some point?" I insist. "Maybe. But we're small, we're weak, and we don't develop nuclear weapons," says Haymitch with a touch of sarcasm. He didn't get too excited over my District 13 story. "What do you think they'll do, Haymitch? To the districts that are rebelling?" I ask. "Well, you've heard what they did in Eight. You've seen what they did here, and that was without provocation," says Haymitch. "If things really do get out of hand, I think they'd have no problem killing off another district, same as they did Thirteen. Make an example of it, you know?" "So you think Thirteen was really destroyed? I mean, Bonnie and Twill were right about the footage of the mocking-jay," I say. "Okay, but what does that prove? Nothing, really. There are plenty of reasons they could be using old footage. Probably it looks more impressive. And it's a lot simpler, isn't it? To just press a few buttons in the editing room than to fly all the way out there and film it?" he says. "The idea that Thirteen has somehow rebounded and the Capitol is ignoring it? That sounds like the kind of rumor desperate people cling to." "I know. I was just hoping," I say. "Exactly. Because you're desperate," says Haymitch. I don't argue because, of course, he's right. Prim comes home from school bubbling over with excitement. The teachers announced there was mandatory programming tonight. "I think it's going to be your photo shoot!" "It can't be, Prim. They only did the pictures yesterday," I tell her. "Well, that's what somebody heard," she says. I'm hoping she's wrong. I haven't had time to prepare Gale for any of this. Since the whipping, I only see him when he comes to the house for my mother to check how he's healing. He's often scheduled seven days a week in the mine. In the few minutes of privacy we've had, with me walking him back to town, I gather that the rumblings of an uprising in 12 have been subdued by Thread's crackdown. He knows I'm not going to run. But he must also know that if we don't revolt in 12, I'm destined to be Peeta's bride. Seeing me lounging around in gorgeous gowns on his television ... what can he do with that? When we gather around the television at seven-thirty, I discover that Prim is right. Sure enough, there's Caesar Flickerman, speaking before a standing-room-only crowd in front of the Training Center, talking to an appreciative crowd about my upcoming nuptials. He introduces Cinna, who became an overnight star with his costumes for me in the Games, and after a minute of good-natured chitchat, we're directed to turn our attention to a giant screen. I see now how they could photograph me yesterday and present the special tonight. Initially, Cinna designed two dozen wedding gowns. Since then, there's been the process of narrowing down the designs, creating the dresses, and choosing the accessories. Apparently, in the Capitol, there were opportunities to vote for your favorites at each stage. This is all culminating with shots of me in the final six dresses, which I'm sure took no time at all to insert in the show. Each shot is met with a huge reaction from the crowd. People screaming and cheering for their favorites, booing the ones they don't like. Having voted, and probably bet on the winner, people are very invested in my wedding gown. It's bizarre to watch when I think how I never even bothered to try one on before the cameras arrived. Caesar announces that interested parties must cast their final vote by noon on the following day. "Let's get Katniss Everdeen to her wedding in style!" he hollers to the crowd. I'm about to shut off the television, but then Caesar is telling us to stay tuned for the other big event of the evening. "That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!" "What will they do?" asks Prim. "It isn't for months yet. We turn to our mother, whose expression is solemn and distant, as if she's remembering something. "It must be the reading of the card." The anthem plays, and my throat tightens with revulsion as President Snow takes the stage. He's followed by a young boy dressed in a white suit, holding a simple wooden box. The anthem ends, and President Snow begins to speak, to remind us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion. These words could not be more pointed, since I suspect several districts are rebelling right now. President Snow goes on to tell us what happened in the previous Quarter Quells. "On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." I wonder how that would have felt. Picking the kids who had to go. It is worse, I think, to be turned over by your own neighbors than have your name drawn from the reaping ball. "On the fiftieth anniversary," the president continues, "as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes." I imagine facing a field of forty-seven instead of twenty-three. Worse odds, less hope, and ultimately more dead kids. That was the year Haymitch won... . "I had a friend who went that year," says my mother quietly. "Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned the sweetshop. They gave me her songbird after. A canary." Prim and I exchange a look. It's the first we've ever heard of Maysilee Donner. Maybe because my mother knew we would want to know how she died. "And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," says the president. The little boy in white steps forward, holding out the box as he opens the lid. We can see the tidy, upright rows of yellowed envelopes. Whoever devised the Quarter Quell system had prepared for centuries of Hunger Games. The president removes an envelope clearly marked with a 75. He runs his finger under the flap and pulls out a small square of paper. Without hesitation, he reads, "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors." My mother gives a faint shriek and Prim buries her face in her hands, but I feel more like the people I see in the crowd on television. Slightly baffled. What does it mean? Existing pool of victors? Then I get it, what it means. At least, for me. District 12 only has three existing victors to choose from. Two male. One female ... I am going back into the arena.