#bones complains about how damn long spock's hair is and how long it takes to dry but she loves combing it out so much

[dustykneed]

post-the search for spock but it's a yuri slice of life comic <333 nothing as good a bonding activity as lovingly combing out your vulcan wife's hair as you fondly bitch about your other wife 🩵💙💛

[i-m-screaming-very-loudly-inside]

this probably isn't a hot take, but whenever I get to the point in a conversation where I'm talking about Star Trek characters playing DnD (it would probably always happen, I need the other person to let me talk long enough), I always get real hung up on explaining the concept that

Bones will always play Cleric, and complain about it.

I'm not done,

He will complain about the nature of the spells, he will complain about his friends getting injured, he will complain about being the only healer, he will complain if the party don't rest, he'll complain about spending all day tending people and then going and doing it all again, in the break room after work in a pretend fantasy world!

and they cave, and even Jim starts to think maybe it's a little unfair, and isn't sure how Bones got trapped in this anyhow.

Jim makes a half-elf cleric with sparkly hair and a backstory about their family being eaten by mermaids. Spock makes a druid to fill out the spells a bit so they don't run out, Scotty makes a fighter called Worp (second name might sound a bit like Core, but shh), and Uhura is playing her openly declared favourite class which is a bard.

The stage is set for another DPS.

Bones plays a Ranger.

he. cannot. stand. it.

ten minutes he's already twitchy, thirty minutes and someone makes the mistake of mentioning rangers get spell slots at a higher level and he keeps surreptitiously asking when that is.

2 tortorous hours later and he gives up.

Sorry Bones, we weren't healing right x)

...damn right u weren't, he smiles because he knows tho.

the party had never been so healthy in hp, but next session they all know Bones is loving every minute.

anyway yeah, if you met someone irl who tried to explain this chances are they were me, congrats on finding my blog lol

I may try again if I think it didn't hit hard enough or summat or I have more to say, be warned x)

[starfleetbotanist]

Physician, Heal Thyself (But Not Always)

🌹

It had been stupid, even he would admit that. Academy students were typically supposed to avoid bar fights. But Cupcake had been talking smack, and he'd had a few too many, so he had allowed the inevitable to happen. What he hadn't expected was for six other cadets to decide to use him as a punching bag. More surprising, though, was Bones.

He'd vaguely heard Bones trying to reason with his assailants before the roar in his ears drowned him out, but a fist to the stomach is a much more pressing matter than a pacifist doctor trying to tell you logic you don't want to hear, so he'd more or less written him off. That is, until he saw a cadet fall at his feet and turned to see his friend wading- and punching- through the crowd towards him.

He leapt at one of Cupcakes cronies as he landed a solid punch to Bones' face, causing the man to stumble back, a protectiveness he hadn't felt since Tarsus rising in him. But Bones regained his footing and gave as good as he'd gotten, before finally reaching Jim. Then he grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and dragged him from the bar, much like a mama cat with her errant kitten.

He stared at him, stunned, the entire way back to their room, Bones loudly scolding him about safety and rules the whole way, wiping blood from his now evidently broken nose. A sick feeling overcame him. What happened now? Was Bones going to leave, like Sam had?

He found himself dumped on the couch in an ungraceful heap as Bones' angry footsteps carried him to the bathroom and back. He sat on the coffee table, and Jim was relieved to see his medkit resting on his knee. He was (mostly) a model patient as Bones scrubbed at his cuts with antiseptic before using the portable dermal regen.

"You've got too damn good a brain, Jim, to go and get it knocked around by fools like that, y'hear me?"

He blinked. No, he hadn't heard him. Upon realizing that, Bones rolled his eyes before reaching over and lightly slapping his head- a move too gentle to actually hurt, and which he immediately followed with an affectionate ruffle of Jim's hair.

"This, your brain. Use it."

With that, he got up and headed back to the bathroom. Jim followed on his heels.

"That's it? You're not... More angry?"

"Jim, I knew when I signed up to be your friend there'd be risks. If a bar fight's the most danger we get in together I'd be surprised."

"But you got hurt!"

"Yeah, and you owe me for that."

He stopped in front of the mirror, opening his case again and finding the regen and a hypo. He reached up and, with a grunt, popped his nose back into place. He swore as he turned the hypo on himself, eyes watering.

"Scratch that, you really owe me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," Jim replied. He meant it. He hated seeing Bones hurt.

"Just-- use your head next time. Okay?"

"Yeah-- yeah, okay, Bones. I promise."

"Good." He washed the blood on his face and hands before turning back to face him. "Then we can forget about it."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Okay. Thanks, Bones."

"Anytime, kid."

🌹

Nyota held her wrist to her chest, waiting in the academy clinic. She had hurt it in combat class that day, but thankfully not too badly. The clinic was understaffed that day, and she had told Christine she was fine waiting. It was just her and two other cadets in the waiting room, after all. Not everyone was quite so patient, though.

One of the others, a command cadet, was complaining loudly, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair, and bouncing his leg in agitation.

"How much longer is this gonna take?" He asked when Christine opened the door to call another patient back.

"Doctor McCoy or Doctor M'Benga will be able to see you soon, sir," she answered. "We will get to you as soon as we can."

Nyota prided herself on her ability to read people, and what she saw from the other cadet was not encouraging. He jumped up to his feet, crossing over to Christine with surprising speed.

"You can't just come back here!" She said, positioning herself between the cadet and the door.

"Watch me!" He snapped, grabbing her shoulder and shoving her out of the way.

Nyota rose, but she didn't need to interfere. Just as he was stepping into the hallway, he ran face first into Doctor McCoy, summoned by Christine's shout.

"Didn't you hear the lady? She said you ain't gettin' in here!" He snapped, though Nyota could see him running a clinical eye over the cadet. "Easy now. Looks like you're in withdrawal. How many stims have you taken?"

"None of your business!" The man snapped, and before anyone could stop him, caught McCoy on the side of the head with a right cross.

Christine leapt in, then, getting him into a safe hold and grabbing his arm to pin behind him as McCoy called for M'Benga to bring a sedative.

"Dammit," he swore as the other doctor handed him the hypo. "Sucker punches harder than he looks."

Once he was sedated, security called, and a treatment plan discussed for the over-use of stims to get him through the command courses, the cadet was taken to Starfleet Medical for a proper detox.

"You okay, Chris?" McCoy asked. Nyota had come to Christine's side as the cadet was taken away. The two had been friends since their first year.

"Just fine," she promised. "Didn't even fall. What about you?"

"I'll be fine," he shrugged. "Happens sometimes. Nothin' the regen can't fix."

"You might want to get on that before it swells too much, Len" M'Benga said. "I can finish up here."

"It'll hold," McCoy insisted. "But you can take that patient we just called back. C'mon, Ny, I only need one eye to see the swelling in that wrist."

"Only if you fix your eye, too," she threatened, following him back to one of the rooms.

"Wrist first," he said, taking out his tricorder. She answered his questions, let him strap the regen unit to her, and stared him into submission until he began treating himself while they waited.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked once they had both finished.

"Ain't that my line? Any residual pain?"

"None, thank you. Now answer me."

"I'm okay," he promised. "Not my first rodeo with someone hyped up on stims, and it won't be my last."

"Can't say I envy you."

"Yeah, well, it happens. Now, you be careful in that combat class, okay? Stretch right, and be careful which moves you use on which partners."

"I will. Thanks, Len."

"Sure, Ny."

🌹

"Scotty."

He looked up from the manual he was reading at the sound from the bathroom door.

"Ah, Doc! What can I do for you?"

"You can take a break from straining your eyes and come have some coffee."

He laughed, lowering the PADD he was reading from.

"Aye, that sounds good. What're you doin' up so early?"

He followed him into his room, where he could smell fresh coffee brewing. Like many things, McCoy seemed to prefer real coffee, and while Scotty tended to be more of a tea man, he never turned down real foods or drinks.

"Haven't been to bed yet- don't tell Jim or Spock."

He poured them both a cup, handing Scotty one of them and motioning to the sugar and creamer he'd set out.

"Aren't you the one always telling the crew the importance of a good sleep schedule?"

"Yeah, and that's why I'm askin' you not to tell on me," he grinned.

"Can you not sleep?"

"No, not really. I've been goin' over that last accident in Engineering. I've written up a few training proposals, and wanted you to read through them and tell me which you think'll work best before I submit them."

"Have you been working on this all day?"

"Since my shift ended, yeah."

Scotty saw him take two tiny pills from a bottle on his desk and take them before rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, headache. Ibuprofen. Been at this a little too long, I think."

"Why push yourself like this, then?"

He scanned the proposals, an interdisciplinary first aid course specific to Engineering and the various injuries and accidents that could happen, a triage proposal to better prepare medical staff for what to expect when an accident is called in, and new safety guidelines and equipment inspection schedules.

"Well, every second counts, you know that. The sooner we get this smoothed out, the better. It could be life or death, and I'm not about to play games there."

"You never do," Scotty grinned, picking up a stylus and making a few notes. "I like this so far. I hope you made a lot of coffee, because I have a few ideas, too."

"I hoped you would," McCoy grinned, and the two sat down to begin work.

🌹

"You called me, Doc?"

"Mr Sulu, perfect timing!"

Doctor McCoy was standing by a selection of plants, studying them intensely.

"The botany department sent these up. They're medicinal. But the labels got mixed up, and we don't really know what's what."

"That's unusual," Sulu grinned, looking down at the selection. "She's usually more organized when making deliveries."

He began to catalogue the plants, calling to mind their uses.

"Fever few, plantain... Several of these are for stopping bleeding."

"Yeah, that's what we're hoping for. We're training our medics to learn other ways to heal in the field."

"Good idea," Sulu nodded, fixing the lables.

"Thank you for the help," McCoy grinned. "Oh, Lieutenant Lyle brought another plant, but I'm not sure what it does. It was bigger than the others, so I set it in the office. Little bastard scratched me, too."

Sulu laughed, plucking a plantain leaf and handing it to him.

"Chew on that for a minute and put it on the cut, that will help."

He heard McCoy's thanks as he went into the office. He gasped. On the desk was a rare Andorian Passionflower- spiked where its Earth counterpart was not, and blue instead of purple. In place of a label there was a note, and he recognized the handwriting.

"Ben?"

"Surprise," McCoy said, stepping in. He had the chewed leaf against his finger. "We were asked not to tell you anything."

He opened the envelope. It was handwritten anniversary card. He smiled, warmth filling him.

"Happy anniversary, you two," McCoy said, patting him on the shoulder. "There's minutes on my computer for subspace communication. He's waiting for you to call."

"Thanks, Doc," he answered, wiping sudden tears from his eyes.

McCoy patted his back again before leaving him to his call.

🌹

"Doctor?"

"Mhm?"

"Why did you do it?"

McCoy looked at Chekov, who was eyeing wound on his arm with deep concern.

"Reflex," he lied, finishing ripping his uniform shirt into bandages. He turned his eyes away, focusing on tying off and tending the wound until the ion storm ended and they could contact the Enterprise.

"Captain Kirk is right. You are a terrible liar, sir."

He snorted, tying off his makeshift sling. He'd taken a rather severe cut from a spear from one of the inhabitants of this supposedly uninhabited planet. The spear had been aimed at Chekov, but he had managed to push the kid out of the way just in time.

"Captain Kirk can mind his own business."

"Doctor..."

McCoy sighed, leaning back against the cave wall. Chekov joined him, still looking at him with wide-eyed worry.

"You remind me of Joanna."

"Huh?"

"I did it because you remind me of Joanna."

"Who is Joanna?"

"My daughter. My whole world. I don't get to see her often, but she's my pride and joy."

"And I remind you of her?"

"Yeah. Can't explain it. It's probably because you're so young, or some misplaced guilt about not being there to protect JoJo that makes me want to look out for you instead that the psychologist really doesn't wanna think too much about."

He shrugged, closing his eyes.

"That, and I'm a doctor, and your senior officer. Not gonna let you get hurt if I can help it."

Running for their lives had worn him out, it seems. Chekov studied him for a moment before placing his head on his shoulder.

"You are very much the papa I always wanted. My grandmother, she told me stories about him. He was a good man. If he was... If I had known him longer, I would have liked for him to be like you, Doctor."

He felt a strong hand ruffle his hair.

"Get some rest, kid. I'll keep watch."

Chekov smiled, allowing his own eyes to close. He fell asleep wondering if McCoy would laugh or be angry that he had become, as the captain said, a "mama bear."

🌹

Spock stood beside Captain Kirk's hospital bed, arms folded behind his back. He had come to check on the progress of McCoy's serum on their friend. But, also, he was here to check on McCoy. Nyota had expressed worry over him that morning after visiting.

"You want a seat, Spock?"

He turned as the doctor entered the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a PADD in the other.

"No, thank you, Doctor."

McCoy set the coffee aside, moving to the bed to compare the data on the PADD to the biobed readings. As Spock watched him, he began to really notice the state the doctor was in. His eyes were bloodshot, ringed in dark circles, his hair sticking at odd angles, as though he had run his fingers through it many times. He hadn't shaved, and was looking rather gaunt.

"When did you last sleep, Leonard?"

"Does it matter, Spock?"

"I think it would matter to the captain. And... I admit to a concern, as well."

"May miracles never cease," McCoy muttered, and they both knew what miracle he was praying for.

"Doctor, you must rest. The captain's status is unlikely to change in the time it would take for you to eat and sleep."

"I can't, Spock. Not right now."

"Why?"

"Because he needs me."

"He needs all of you, Leonard. Not a shell of yourself."

McCoy's shoulders sagged at that.

"I don't want to leave him," he admitted. "I promised I wouldn't leave him."

"You do not have to leave him. You could bring a cot into this room, perhaps. Shower in the en suite, and eat the meals Nyota has been bringing you."

"When I try to sleep, Spock, all I can see is him in that chamber. In that damn body bag in my medbay. It... It hurts, Spock. In a very human way, it hurts. It- this grief, it's like a wound, Spock."

"As you so often tell me, Leonard, you are a doctor. You treat wounds, better than most. You are healing the captain. The best way to heal that grief is to continue to do so. But if you damage yourself with overwork, you will not be able to care for him to the best of your abilities."

McCoy was silent for a moment before nodding.

"You're right... Thank you, Spock."

"It is... My pleasure, Leonard."

When he visited again that night, he found McCoy asleep on a cot not far from Kirk's bed, PADD still in hand. He had showered and shaved. The plate Nyota had sent him was now empty, and someone, presumably nurse Chapel, had covered him with the knitted blanket that he usually kept on the couch in his office.

Spock allowed himself to feel relieved, and quietly retreated, turning down the lights as he did so. The next morning, Kirk woke up.

🌹

"He may be a little disoriented when he wakes up," M'Benga told the assembled officers. "It was touch and go there, and we nearly lost him a few times. But I do believe he will make a full recovery."

"You are sure?" Chekov asked, his face pale. Sulu had his hand on his back for support.

"Yes. He is stable. Now all he needs is rest."

"Thank you," Kirk spoke up, gripping one of McCoy's hands from his place beside his bed. "Bones couldn't have been in better hands."

"You remind him of that when he wakes up," M'Benga laughed quietly, his calm manner helping ease the tension in the crowd. "You can talk to him now, too. Even if he doesn't hear you, it'll help him to have friendly voices around."

Scotty coughed to hide a relieved sniffle, and patted Kirk's shoulder amiably.

"Why don't you start, Captain?"

Kirk nodded, thinking.

"Bones, you know we all love you, right? So you've gotta come back to us. It's not the same without you here yelling at me."

"Indeed, Doctor. Your colorful metaphors are... Missed." Spock looked down the line of visitors expectantly.

"Da, and you promised to let us talk to Joanna next time she called you!" Chekov watched the sleeping man eagerly.

"Yeah, she and Demora are going to space camp together," Sulu pitched in. "If you don't wake up soon, who's gonna tell them how dangerous it is?"

Nyota laughed at that, and everyone (save Spock) grinned.

"Aye, Len. And you're gonna have to be the one to tell Jaylah what happened, you know," Scotty said. "Otherwise the lassie's likely to steal a ship and come all the way from Earth to make sure you aren't still hurt."

"What about you, Uhura?" Kirk asked. "You know how he likes to hear you sing. Why don't you sing one of his favorites."

"Good idea," she nodded, thinking. "I know just the one."

Soon the medbay was filled with her soft, comforting voice.

"I'll keep you safe..."

🌹 This was a long one! Thank you for reading! This was based on a prompt by @hlabounty96 ! I hope you enjoyed! 🌹

[trade-baby-blues]

In Sickness

Pairing: Spock x reader

Word Count: so many (2680 to be exact)

Warning: Death, dying, serious health conditions, pretty gross health conditions, I think one swear

A/N: Requested by an anon!: “Spock x female reader where they are secretly married...but the team finds out when she gets injured on a mission...” Idk if you can tell but I have watched a TON of grey’s anatomy recently which might be why I spent so much time researching the medical stuff lol. This has absolutely NOT been edited because it’s 3:30 AM and it’s my birthday so I’m going to bed. I will (maybe) edit it later. 

Cold was not a word you would have used to describe Spock. The other crew members gossipped about how emotionless he was, but you knew better. You knew where to look. In soft touches in the hallway, meals sent to your lab when you forgot to leave for lunch. No, Spock wasn’t cold. He was the one spot of warmth on the whole damn ship.

When he asked you to marry him, you were over the moon. Literally. The ship had made an emergency stop at Derna after an influenza outbreak. Half the ship was bed-ridden, and you were working yourself to the bone trying to find a cure. Spock found you unconscious at your desk from a fever you’d neglected to mention to anyone, and, after a long, stern lecture he’d asked if you would be his wife. 

That was almost two years ago now and it had been the best two years of your life. You didn't even mind keeping it to yourself, because it made everything feel more special - and he more than made up for it when you spent nights together. There wasn't a doubt in your mind that Spock would move heaven and earth for you if you asked, and you knew he would be completely undone if anything happened to you.

That’s what made you hesitate on the shuttle down to the planet’s surface. You absentmindedly played with the ring hanging around your neck as the emergency transport descended to the next unknown planet. Well, not completely unknown. You knew one thing about the planet: the flora was poisonous to humans, which is why you were zipping up your decontamination suit and pulling your mobile lab down the ship’s loading dock. It whirred to life behind you as soon as you were clear, receding back into the ship as it prepared for take off.

This was your choice. You reminded yourself sternly. You told Jim not to beam them up. Not to send anyone down with you. The fewer people exposed the better. You rolled your shoulders and neck, easing some of the tension you could feel building there, and started walking toward the emergency triage station that was already set up.

There was a small boulder that had been outfitted as a desk for you to work on. Samples from the plant that caused all the trouble were already laid out. Your eyes scanned them quickly, looking for anything that signaled danger. There were no thorns, no pollen, no sap - even the colors were subdued. You lifted a flower to smell, expecting a nauseating rotting meat smell like some other carnivorous plants, but even the scent was beautiful.

“He’s arresting,” an ensign called. She was hunched over a man on the ground, another ensign. Matyas. He worked with the chemists. It was his first away mission.

Someone grabbed your elbow roughly. “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help him?”

“I’m - I’m not a doctor. I’m a microbiologist I don’t-”

“Damn it I can’t find a pulse.” A doctor had joined the ensign and taken over. Going against warnings to avoid touching Matyas, the doctor was alternating compressions and mouth to mouth while an assistant dug through a bag for a hypo. The needle clicked and everyone held their breath but Matyas didn’t move. It almost felt like your heart was picking up the slack for him with the way it was pounding in your chest.

The doctor sighed. “Time of death, 15:02 Federation Standard Time.” The nurse immediately waved a tricorder over the doctor, scanning for any signs of infection.

You made your way over to Matyas, sample collection kit in hand. While the nurse checked the doctor, you checked the ensign for any obvious signs of disease. Despite only being sick for an hour at most, his face had lost all color and his eyes were dark. Even with gloves on, you could feel how brittle his hair had become. You cut off a few strands and dropped them in a sample bag. Next came the blood draw. You expected it to be the easiest part, but the blood came out much thicker than it should have, almost gelatinous. As if he’d been dead for hours and his blood had started clotting. You chanced a look at the doctor, whose worry was written across his face.

“Can I borrow your tricorder for a sec,” you asked. You accepted it gratefully from the nurse and ran it over Matyas. Each result seemed more concerning than the last: “Skin rash, cardiomegaly, ambient temperature, early signs of rigor mortis.”

The doctor grabbed the tricorder from your hands. “That’s not possible.” He scanned the corpse again, yielding the same results. “We scanned him twenty minutes ago and there was no evidence of cardiomegaly. The only symptoms were a rash, fever, and minor heart palpitations and now….”

“And now the scans show he should’ve been dead for hours, not minutes,” you finished. You wanted to comfort the doctor, who seemed to be getting more anxious by the second, but there was nothing you could say when he was sitting in front of the corpse of a man who might have just infected him. You couldn’t say how long the symptoms would take to start showing, because it was impossibly to know when Matyas was infected. You didn’t even know what caused it. It could be the flower or it could be something in the grass or the trees or even in the air. The only piece of good news you could give came from Bones calling to say the quarantine rooms had been set up.

You went straight to work when you were back on the ship, running the blood through every test you could think of and examining every inch of the plant under microscope. It was harder doing it by yourself, but you insisted your team stay away in case there was something poisonous in the plant. Of course, you hadn’t told Spock you were working alone or that you weren’t working in a decontamination suit, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. It was quicker without the burden of the suit anyway.

Bones kept you updated on the status of all the patients. Neither the doctor nor the ensign were starting to show signs but Commander Oni, a member of the security team of all people, was complaining about abdominal pain and facial swelling and the leader of the expedition, Lieutenant Mavek, had a severe fever. They were both being monitored closely.

You focused your attention back to your work. Sure they were stable now, but Matyas was stable when you were first called and not 30 minutes later he was dead. You just hoped half an hour was enough time for you to make some kind of headway with a cure.

Every minute that passed was torture. Ten minutes in and you had nothing. You were starting to sweat. From nerves, you told yourself. Not from disease. Fifteen minutes passed and Bones called to tell you Oni had blood in his lower intestine now, and his liver seemed to be shutting down. Twenty minutes. Mavek fell unconscious, heart beating erratically. Thirty minutes. His heart stopped. He was put on bypass. Forty minutes. Oni was experiencing multiple organ failure. 50 minutes. Dead.

You threw everything off your desk in anger. Nothing was adding up. The blood had been poisoned but there was nothing poisonous from the plant. The people in direct contact with Matyas were fine but the people who were nowhere near him are dead and dying and you had no more time to come up with a solution to save Mavek.

You scratched subconsciously at an itch on your arm until you realized your fingertips felt wet. When you looked down all you saw was blood. You could still make out the edges of what looked like the same rash Matyas had among the blood and skin that was hanging off your arm. It appeared necrotic, a symptom none of the others had presented. You poked at it lightly in horror, half expecting your entire arm to fall off, but you felt nothing. Aside from the skin falling off of your arm you felt fine.

Then there was a flash of heat so intense you had to sit down. Your vision was white and it felt like your temperature jumped from 98 to 103 with no warning. Waves of nausea hit you as you reached for the comm but you ended up knocking it to the floor in a daze. You fell to your knees to get it, trying desperately to call in a 911 to Bones. Your throat tightened as your heart sped up. You didn’t know what was anxiety and what was a symptom.

The tile flooring felt much cooler against your knees and arms and your nausea lifted briefly. You reached for the Comm and froze. There. Sitting on top of it. What looked like an insect. You forced yourself to concentrate on it, ignoring the white creeping into the edges of your vision. You fumbled for a sample jar, knocking several over before you managed to grab one large enough for the bug and the Comm.

The insect seemed to sense it’s freedom was being threatened, because it jumped from its perch on the Comm and started running towards the door. You threw yourself at it, clapping the cup down full force against the ground. It scuttled frantically around the cup, stabbing what looked like a small stinger against its plastic prison. You slipped the lid underneath and sealed the cup before making your way back to the desk. You grabbed your Comm on the way, dialing Bones as you picked up a pair of scissors.

“Please tell me you’ve got something.” You could tell he was tired.

You stabbed a small hole in the top of the jar for air. “Insect sting. Best guess is it’s essentially Chagas disease but sped up by a few years. Oh, and symptoms also include some kind of dermal necrosis.”

“None of the patients have exhibited signs of necrosis. There’s rashes but not…” You heard Bones curse.

“Yeah. If you could send a gurney my way it’d be much appreciated, doc. I’ll try to meet you halfway.” You hung up before Bones could say anything. There was only one voice you wanted to hear right now and it wasn’t his.

“Ashalik,” Spock said, “I thought you would be too busy to call.”

“Yes, but I found the cause of the illness,” you said, leaning against a wall to catch your breath. Your chest felt tight. “I’m heading to MedBay now to give the results to Dr. McCoy.”

“Are you all right? You sound a little breathless.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Always am around you.” You slid down the wall, energy draining from you quickly. You could almost picture Spock sitting in the Captain’s chair while Jim dealt with the emergency in MedBay. His eyebrow quirking up, cheeks tinged green. You hummed softly at the thought. “Tell me you love me.”

“You know I do. Tal-kam, is there something wrong? Are you-”

“No, I want to hear you say it, Spock. It always sounds better when you say it.” You could hear a slur in your voice and you knew Spock would hear it too. There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke.

“I ayasha du.” Spock said something else, but you weren’t quite sure what. Your eyes had slipped shut by now and the only thing you could hear was a soft ringing in your ears. You felt yourself tipping over but couldn’t do anything to stop it, doomed to lie there until the medics found you unconscious, smile still playing around the corners of your mouth.

You woke up to a stinging pain in your arm and a scratching in your throat. You coughed lightly around a tube and it felt like your entire chest was on fire. You tried to ignore it, breath around it, but it felt like you were choking until you heard your door open and a nurse ran to your bedside to take it out. You smiled weakly at her as she moved to adjust your feeding tube.

“Gave us quite the scare,” she said with a smile. “Though I suppose not as much as you gave him.” She nodded to your left and you tilted your head as far as you could to see Spock curled up in a chair asleep. “Hasn’t left your side in days. Not since he and Dr. McCoy worked out a treatment.” You smiled.

Your gaze seemed to rouse him, because he began to stir. He was on his feet the second he saw your eyes on him. He clasped your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your temple before leaning his forehead against yours. He said nothing, but you didn’t need him to. You understood.

Of course, Bones didn’t understand the intimacy of the moment and barged in with a tricorder and a hypo. Most of the symptoms were gone, but the arrhythmia seemed permanent so far just as it had with Mavek. It would require some more testing and medication but would be manageable.

“Until we’re sure it’s arrhythmia and not an extension of the symptoms, I don’t want doing anything strenuous. You can go back to work as long as you stay in a wheelchair that someone else pushes. Outside that, we’ll run a few cardiac stress tests in the lab, but you shouldn’t do any running or fighting or basically anything that would raise your heart rate.” He said the last few words pointedly towards Spock.

“I’m not sure why you’re addressing me, Doctor. I have no control over what-”

“He’s talking about banging,” Jim said, all smiles. He was leaning against the doorway like he’d just won the lottery. “No more early nights or late mornings or quickies down in the lab. That is, where you went all those times, right?”

The tips of Spock’s ears turned soft green. “I’m sure I don’t know-”

“How long have you guys been married,” Jim turned his questioning to you. “I mean, come on. I didn’t even know you guys were together and now lover boy over here is pining at your bedside and you have a ring around your neck. What’s it been? A few months?”

“Give or take a couple years,” you said, still smiling.

Jim stepped into the room fully, smacking Bones on the arm as he passed. “A couple years? Did you know, Bones?”

“None of my damn business,” Bones grumbled, smacking Jim back.

“Well then,” Jim said, rubbing his arm lightly, “I say it’s high time to celebrate then.”

“You deserve congratulations for discovering a new species of insect, especially one so deadly,” Spock said. “The discovery will save countless lives if future voyages are ever attempted.”

Jim threw an arm around Spock’s shoulders. “Is he always this boring? Because I definitely meant I’m throwing you guys a bachelor and bachelorette party.”

You laughed, but, with your throat still raw from the breathing tube, it came out more like a croak which lead to a cough which lead to Bones shuffling everyone but Spock out of the room. He pulled his chair closer to your bedside again and dropped his face in his hands. It looked like he’d aged a decade in the past week.

“I’m sorry I scared you, ashayam.” You ran your fingers through Spock’s hair. His shoulders shook softly but he made no noise and you wanted so badly to hold him. “Come here.” You tugged gently on his hands until he looked at you. You scooted to the edge of the bed, and Spock took the hint, crawling onto the biobed with you until you were just a tangle of limbs and tubes and tears.

“I ashaya du, k’diwa,” you said, still stroking Spock’s hair as he laid against your chest. “In sickness and in health.”

Tags:  @outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @mysteriously-lost-forever @feelmyroarrrr @yukki-art  @pabegay1 @bolontiku  @brooke-taylor0323 @anotherotter

[wooolfies]

In another life

Fandom: Star Trek TOS (aka Star Trek)

Summary: Years ago a war completely destroyed the population of Freyeon V. Now, Commander Spock sends teams to the surface to learn more about the extinct people. Including Markus Weiss and his daughter Johanna "Joan" Weiss.

Tags: Drama, Family, Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, Oneshot,  Original Character(s), Leonard McCoy, James T. Kirk, Spock

Warning: Hurt / Comfort, Injuries, swearing

Words: 2524

Betas: @sternenfall96​ and @ambermondfisch​

Translated and Beta: by @dirajunara​

Masterlist

A/N: This is my result of the 120-minute challenge that @fuckyeahtreknation posted.

I adhered to all the rules and had nothing planned in advance. As a starting sentence, I chose "I won’t leave you alone." And if someone wants to complain about the length, I am a fast typer but still had to correct a lot of typos.

For those who know "Up"/”In Richtung Oben”; don't worry about Joan's profession here, that was AOS, TOS here is quite different, including my own characters.

Inspired by: x    x    x     x

Enough talk: Have fun reading!

"I won’t leave you alone!", Joan cried out in despair and tried to somehow lift the steel beam with a metal bar.

"Fuck, it's better if you try to bolt."

Joan looked up to the gigantic heap of rubble and debris. Her father was buried up to his chest under the pile.

"Damn, I should have been a doctor, as Mama always said."

"No. It wouldn’t change a thing." Markus spoke softly, breathing shallow.

***

24 hours earlier

"The sensors have found traces of an extinct civilization on the fifth planet of this system. According to the first scans, they were in the atomic age when two different groups of people started a war against each other. The ignition of several hydrogen bombs led to the complete extinction of all intelligent life in this world. I suggest we send down an away team to find out about the lost people over the next few days," Spock looked to the captain, who nodded.

"I will organize teams that will look after specific areas. I've already put together a list of people I would like to discuss with you if that's all right."

"Of course, Spock. Go on."

"Ms. Paris and Lieutenant McGivers, as historians, will investigate, evaluate and summarize how the war could happen. I would be interested in architecture by Johanna and Markus Weiss. Lieutenant Uhura and Ensign Stojanović are expected to look over their language. Doctor M'Benga, Lieutenant Syl and Petty Officer Perf, I have used to find out everything about the physiology and personality of the breed, and Reynold's team is supposed to find out everything they can about culture and religion. Of course, the teams will also have to work together. Ensign Hong and I will deal with the lost science of this people. "

"That sounds very good, Spock, you can start the preparations. Tell me if you need anything else. "Kirk nodded contentedly.

***

Meanwhile, in the engine room: everyone was busy.

"Hey pa, can you give me the phase checker?"

Lieutenant Markus Weiss looked up and turned away from the console to take the required tool out of the box and hand it to his daughter, who was holding her hand out of the opening of a Jeffries tube.

"You're welcome."

"Thank you," said the muffled female voice, and the hand disappeared again.

Markus sighed with a smile and went back to work.

"Chapel to Weiss," a female voice rang from the communication system.

Markus sniffed contemptuously and went to take the call.

"Here Weiss, what's the matter?"

"You and your daughter are allotted for a physical exam. Both of you have to report at the medical bay for a medical exam today."

"I understand, I'll tell her," He let go of the Comm and walked over to the opening. "Jo!?"

"Yes?"

A head of shaggy hair appeared out of the opening. Markus repeated what nurse Chapel had said.

“Alright."

"I'd suggest you get up there right away, I'll get your work done, and then we'll swap places."

"Sounds like a plan. I can also inform Commander Scott on the way," She slid forward, then climbed out of the tube and wiped the coolant from her hands on her red overall. When she went to the door, her father called after her, still grinning.

"One more thing. Can you please not torment Doctor McCoy with questions again? Just let him do his job so you're done early and get back down here."

"Aye," Joan left the room.

***

The next morning at 0700 the participants of the away team  met in transporter room 2. All participants were briefed about the respective objectives and other necessary information.

The landscape of the planet was a spectacle. Buildings and ruins had been overgrown with plants over the years. Nature had reclaimed what civilization had taken from it. According to Spock's analysis, the radiation had fallen to a safe value over the years. To the north of the landing location a bridge had collapsed. It had broken in the center, between the pillars, and now the fragments rose like ramps.

"Okay, let's start with the city down there," Markus suggested.

Joan nodded and kept an eye on her tricorder.

The group parted and each team went to do their respective tasks.

The star of this system was a main star and was almost at its peak.

Markus and Joan began to climb down the hill only to find themselves in the overgrown streets of a former metropolis. Rusty vehicles were scattered all over. Most of the buildings were still almost intact. Evidently, in here the radiation had killed the beings because the damage had been caused by the disintegration. The air was mild and humid, birds and other creatures inhabited the thicket and the trees.

The two stopped in front of a high-rise, about 50-level high, which, apart from the vines on the walls and the trees on the roof, seemed completely intact.

Joan looked at her tricorder.

"What do you say, should we go in?" Markus asked, looking up from his readouts.

"The building is safe," Joan looked into the face of her widely grinning father

"Come on, my Vulcan," He took the front and went into the building through the missing windows.

"Pa, that was a little racist now," She followed him.

"It wasn’t meant to be, you just sounded like Spock," He looked around the former entrance hall.

From what they could take of the arches of the ceiling, everything had been round in form, round, just like the bar-like stone table, which seemed to have survived the time, even though he was clad with vines.

"This building consists of a steel core which is probably encased in concrete for fire protection, but also a metal is built into the walls, which has hexagonal shapes.”

"Like the honeycombs in beehives?"

"Yes, it is obviously a common behavior that intelligent species are copying from nature," He turned on his torch.

The two took the stairs to look for further reasons why the building was still so well preserved despite various weathering.

In the upper floors they encountered the first mortal remains of the former indigenous species, but after all these years they were little more than bones.

Joan was not a xenobiologist, but to her the skeletons looked similar to those of mammals on Earth. With a few differences, of course, but posture and walk could have been easily like that of humans, even though their skulls showed strange excrescences. But it was not Joan's job to examine these creatures, so she turned back to the building.

"Any idea what this building could have had for a purpose?" Markus asked.

"I have a guess. The distribution of the rooms and the large number of deaths as well as the remains of the furniture indicate that this might have been a kind of hospital. "

The furniture seemed to be mainly made of a kind of plastic, which needed a long time to rot, and here in the core of the building was not enough light for plants, so the rooms seemed to be still quite similar to their original condition. In the central core of the building was a spiral staircase, which seemed to enclose a kind of elevator shaft.

The two decided to go up to the roof, even if it would cost a lot of effort to do so.

On the roof grew trees, which had not reached high due to the lack of nutrients. The roof was spacious and there was something on it that seemed to be a separate building.

The view was exhilarating. The hospital was not the tallest building in the area, but one of the larger ones and the view was better than from the landing field. Looking around, Joan couldn’t help but feel wonder and, despite the destruction, amazement.

"I believe the stable construction supports my theory. You do not want the hospital to give in for a light earthquake. "

"Right. Now look at this, Jo,” Joan's father stood by a small house with a flat roof, that had been build on to of the hospital-roof, "According to the concrete used, this building was later erected as the building on which we stand. It is also completely different from the construction method and has only one floor. "

He ran his hand over the plaster and touched one of the plants tenderly, the leaves trembled, and the movement seemed to pass through the sprout axes and spread out in waves.

Carefully he entered the extra building through a round, door-like opening.

"Look at this,” he said.

Round windows pointed towards the city, an apparatus looking like a circuit diagram was built up, hundreds of plastic tubes connecting everything. Nevertheless, nature had spread here too, the ground was strewn with roots that had rattled in cracks.

Joan just peered through the door, then shrugged.

"You better come out. As we said: Not. Completely. Stable."

"Yes, on my way.."

He moved toward the exit and took a few more scans when he caught his foot on one of the roots. He shook his leg out of reflex to get rid of it, but this strong pull moved through the roots into the walls that began to crumble. Dust dripped from the ceiling. The plants seemed to amplify the vibrations unbelievably strongly, letting them echo again and again. A peculiarity of this world.

Precious seconds passed by before he had finally freed his foot and fled towards the exit. On the threshold he caught on again and fell to the ground. It was too late, the roof of the additional building broke and collapsed with a loud row.

Frightened, Joan had jumped back. Her father had found place under a steel beam and the two were wrapped in dust.

"Oh, shit." Joan fell to her knees before him to take a closer look on the situation.

The dust had settled quickly, and she spotted the extent. The beam was thick and looked heavy.

"Hey, mouse," he breathed with a forced grin.

Markus's face was unharmed except for a small laceration. Up to his chest he was covered in rubble. Except for the beam, who held him captive, but did not rest upon him with his full weight, it was only 'light rubble'; Stones and concrete from the masonry and roofing.

"Where does it hurt?" Joan asked.

"What are you doing" He countered, and Joan watched him grow paler.

She sighed, "You're in a shock. Again, where does it hurt? "

"Abdomen."

"Where is your com?"

"Belt."

But the belt was buried under the rubble. And if she moved the debris, more could follow.

Joan had to force herself not to panic, had to tell herself to stay calm, again and again, but her hands were already trembling.

"Go, leave. Who knows what triggered the vibration? Surely, you'll find another team that can call the Enterprise to catch the signature of my com and beam me up. "

"I won’t leave you alone!", Joan cried out in despair and tried to somehow lift the steel beam with a metal bar.

"Damn it, it's better if you try to bolt."

Joan looked up to the gigantic heap of rubble and debris. Her father was buried up to his chest under the pile.

"Damn, I should have been a doctor, as Mama always said."

"No. It wouldn’t change a thing." Markus spoke softly, breathing shallow.

"I'd think of something," Joan said, messing up her hair.  She began to move the debris from her father despite the danger of more rubble. She knew, if she’d run down the stairs and tried to find someone else in this huge city, it would certainly take longer. She was terrified, her hands trembled, the blood rushing in her ears. She had removed the last chunk and dug herself under the steel beam, and after about ten minutes of strategic digging she had pulled the Communicator out of the dust.

A moan of her father made her turn her head. She had increased the weight of the steel carrier by removing the substructure material.

To her relief, the Communicator still worked, he had been exposed to the least force.

"Weiss on Enterprise. Medical emergency."

"Prepare for transport," Uhura ordered.

No, shot through her head. "Wait! He might have internal bleeding, if you beam him, the blood can flow unhindered, now it’s still under pressure. "

"I'll give you McCoy," Uhura said, forwarding Joan.

Fuck, she thought.

"Joan, explain the situation," McCoy's voice came from the communicator.

"My father is caught a thick steel beam, he complains about pain in his abdomen, I can’t see anything else. Besides that, he seems to have a shock. "

"I think I have to throw up," muttered Markus.

"Prevent this, it can aggravate the condition," the doctor said sternly. "Can you scan his abdomen somehow?"

"No, he's buried up to his chest."

"Okay, it still seems that your feeling proves to be right. I'm preparing everything up here, keep him awake for two more minutes."

You could already hear him working away.

Joan put the Com to the side, but let it stay activated.

"Pa. I have a question.What do we really want to do when we are back on earth?"

"Oh, Joan, not now.."

"Come on, tell me!"

"I would go to Russia with you and your grandpa, what Chekov tells sounds fabulous. I would like to see that with my own eyes."

"Sounds good. But Russia is big, where would you want to go first?"

"To see the endless forests of Siberia, maybe see some wild bears ..."

He turned quieter and seemed to fall asleep.

"Hey, hey, hey. Come on, stay with me." She put her hand on his shoulder.

"No, I’d like to sleep, little one."

"Leonard, do something, he’s drifting away."

"Damn, be ready for transport."

***

After about four hours of waiting in her room and a half-hour second checkup, which was standard after missions on foreign worlds, McCoy ordered Joan into the intensive care unit of med-bay.

Markus was still asleep.

"Thanks to you, he's going to be fine. Seriously, if we would have beamed him up right away, he had died, because the preparation for such a procedure would have taken too long. You did good, you could have taken a medical profession," he said.

"Maybe in another life," Joan actually had to smile, because somehow she could imagine herself in this profession.

@commandersaru

[auduna-druitt]

After Tarsus IV Headcanon (pt. 1)

(Graphic by @theenchantedgalleryofstories)

Word count: 2510

Tags: @mccoymostly, @outside-the-government, @yourtropegirl, @pinkamour1588, @wonders-of-the-enterprise, @thevalesofanduin, @starshiphufflebadger, @lurkch, @gracieminabox (Sorry if I forgot you! Can’t remember who all wanted tagged.)

Jim didn’t talk about what happened on Tarsus. He just wanted to forget. He wanted the memories to go away. He wanted the pain to go away.

Before Tarsus he’d wanted…no, he needed someone to take care of him.

After Tarsus, he care take care of himself. His new priority was looking out for number one. Everyone else lied.

Uncle Frank told him he wouldn’t be gone long.

His rescuers told him he’d see his kids again.

His mother told him she wouldn’t leave him like that again.

Everyone lied.

The kid that always wanted to his mother happy was broken. He got in fights, he caused trouble, he had a problem with those in authority.

When his mother would leave he would grab the little backpack he kept in his closet and he would go out and hide himself away from uncle Frank. It was the one good thing to come out of his experience on Tarsus. He was an excellent hider.

He’d stay hidden away until his mother returned. Uncle Frank didn’t complain, he didn’t have to deal with him and his mother didn’t know.

When he turned eighteen he moved out of uncle Frank’s house and into a little room at the back of the bar where he worked cleaning up after closing. He quickly learned that alcohol helped to numb the pain.

He had forgotten the names of his kids a while back but their thin little bodies and scared faces would never leave him. He presented himself as being strong, confident, and cocky; while on the inside he was still a fragile little boy.

Floating around came naturally to him. Never staying in the same place for too long. Another result of his time on Tarsus. He always eventually wound up back home. He would always go back for his mother.

The day came when a girl didn’t fall for his usual charms and he ended up in yet another bar fight. An older man he’d never seen before cleared the bar leaving just the two of them and the bartender.

Jim stared at the man sitting across from him when he told him he was his father’s son. He’d heard about his father and been compared to his father his whole life. This man didn’t seem any different from the rest.

“I dare you to do better.”

Six little words. That’s all it took. Six little words from the man from Starfleet. The man who saw something no one else had. The man that knew there was more to Jim Kirk than what was on the record.

He boarded the shuttle the next day. He didn’t say goodbye to his mother. He planned to call her in a few days and tell her he was okay but he couldn’t tell her yet. She might try and talk him out of it.

He sat down and strapped in and a scruffy looking man plopped down beside him. He looked about like Jim felt.

He made a friend out of the scruffy doctor. They were a lot alike and having a doctor for a friend had its advantages, especially for someone who wound up in the campus clinic a lot.

Come finals time Jim was in the clinic more and more but not for stress or headaches or simple exhaustion like most. He wound up in the clinic after he passed out on lawn.

When he came to his best friend was standing over him. His blood sugar was low, his blood pressure was low, his heart rate was elevated, and he was dehydrated.

His friend just looked at him and shook his head. “You aren’t thirteen anymore Jim, you have to eat.”

He didn’t say it to be mean. He didn’t know. Jim told him everything. Bones was the first person other than his mother that he ever told about Tarsus.

He promised his friend that he would take better care of himself, but Bones wanted to be sure. They became roommates at the start of their second year so Bones could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t end up in the clinic as often.

Jim was glad he had a friend like Bones. He kind of reminded him of the little boy he had befriended on Tarsus…

At the insistence of his friend he’d gone to see Captain Pike. He’d become a sort of mentor to Jim and he would go see him whenever he was struggling or needed advice. The captain always seemed glad to see him and even went out of his way to drop in on Jim on occasion just to check on him. Jim was glad to finally have a father figure in his life. To have someone who truly cared.

When Bones said he was going to make sure Jim took care of himself he wasn’t kidding. When he could tell Jim was getting stressed out he would stick notes around the dorm reminding him of the simple things. “Keep you chin up”, “take a deep breath”, “Don’t forget to eat”, and “Drink WATER” were just a few.

While studying for his finals the second year Jim would open his books and find notes stuck to the pages at different intervals reminding him to eat, get up and stretch, go outside for five minutes, “dammit man, take a shower!”.  

He’d laughed out loud when he saw that one. He made up his mind then that he want Bones to be his CMO when he got his ship. He wanted to return the favor and take care of his friend for a change.

When he took the Kobayashi Maru he wanted Bones at his side, just in case. He was disappointed that he didn’t pass but Bones assured him that “No one passes that damn test!”

When it came time for survival training Jim proved he was a natural at leading. His team arrived back well before any of the others. He’d enjoyed taking care of his team, teaching them to forage, showing them the best way to build a fire, and how to find the best shelter. Tarsus hadn’t been something he wanted to remember but some of his experiences were proving helpful.

Bones hadn’t seen Jim like that before. The kid was in his element out in the middle of nowhere. Jim was actually happy, he was smiling while everyone else was miserable.

Kobayashi Maru. AGAIN. Third time’s a charm. Granted he did have a little help. He was called before the board. They wanted to punish him. He was the first person to beat the test and they wanted to punish him. They said he cheated.

Bones couldn’t help him.

Pike couldn’t help him.

He was on his own.

“You of all people should understand…”

That pointy eared bastard. What did he know?

An emergency on Vulcan.

Academic probation.

Not assigned to a ship, grounded until further notice.

Bones was assigned to Captain Pike’s ship but it didn’t really matter which ship he was going on. He was still going without him, he had to go without him. It was Sam all over again. But then Bones came back. He grabbed him by the arm and took him along. Sure he was drugged and kind of out of it but he was going too.

He hadn’t expected to fall in love with a ship, but the moment he looked out the shuttle window he knew. She was the most beautiful thing he’d seen. His place was going to be with her and he knew.

Bones was keeping his word. He was still taking care of him, he’d snuck him on the ship, and he was still taking care of him. No one had ever risked so much just to help him before.

But something was wrong.

A lightning storm in space.

He’d heard stories about that since he was a kid. He’d read Captain Pike’s dissertation. He knew what this meant, he knew they were in trouble, but he had to make 100% sure.

She confirmed his theory and he had to tell Pike. He had to warn him. Bones stayed with him and took the blame. They tried to send him away but he wasn’t going to let it happen. He had to save them.

Pike knew him. He knew him well enough to know that he was scared. Pike prepared and they dropped out of warp.

Jim was right.

But they were too late to help the other ships and no one could help them. They were on their own. A feeling that was all too familiar to Jim by now.

Pike asked for volunteers, he took Jim too. He had a plan to help the planet below and Jim might as well be a part. He knew the kid was a quick thinker and he knew he was good in a fight. If anyone can pull off what he had in mind, it was Jim Kirk.

Captain Pike also knew what potential Jim had. He even promoted him to first officer when Jim was a stowaway and should have been detained in the brig. No one would benefit from that and Jim had raised the alarm after all.

Jim performed the duties given to him and he saved Sulu. He couldn’t let him die if there was anything he could do to save him. He couldn’t go back alone.

Just like every other time, he managed to make it out by the skin of his teeth.

That pointy eared bastard went down there alone. He went to save the elders. He went to save his parents.

He got most of them out, but his mother didn’t make it.

Jim knew how much that hurt. While hiding in the cave on Tarsus he had convinced himself that his mother didn’t miss him and didn’t want him. He had lost count of the number of times she had left him with uncle Frank and how many times she cried just from looking at him. He still loved her though and would be heartbroken to lose her like Spock had lost his mother.

Jim felt bad for the kid at the controls. He’d tried to save her but she’d slipped away. There was nothing he could do or say that would change it or even make it better. Jim remembered the pain he saw in the eyes on the littles in his care on Tarsus. He saw a similar pain in the eyes of the curly haired young ensign.

Vulcan was gone.

Pike was taken.

They needed to go after him. They had to get pike back but Spock wouldn’t listen. He was going to meet up with the rest of the fleet while the Romulans escaped.

Then that pointy eared bastard stranded him. Bones didn’t defend him, he didn’t even say anything. Jim could understand why but it still hurt. He had to fight for what he knew was right. Even if he was the only one to see it.

Marooned.

He had been marooned on a freezing cold planet in the middle of nowhere. Best part about it? The giant fucking monsters that wanted to eat him!

Running into a cave he was only just saved by an old man that seemed to know him. A man that called himself Spock.

The man showed him who he was and how he got there. He was overwhelmed by emotion he was unsure whether it was his or the man calling himself Spock. 

The other him knew his father.

His parents were together.

His father was proud of him.

But that wasn’t him. That wasn’t his life. It was someone else’s.

He and the older Spock headed for the nearest outpost, hoping to find a way off the planet. With a little help from an engineer he managed to get back to the Enterprise.

He was taken to the bridge and had to poke and prod the acting captain in an attempt to gain control. He hated the words coming out of his mouth. He hated making the other man feel any more pain than he already did. He was doing it for Pike and for Earth.

It worked. Spock relinquished control and Jim changed course for Earth. They were going after the Romulans. Jim was in his element. He was leading them and he was going to save them. He had to save them.

They managed to catch up with the Romulans and he and Spock got on board. Spock took the ship containing the red matter while Jim went after Pike.

The plan worked and they got Pike out and crashed the ship into the Narada. Nero and his ship went down and the Enterprise returned to Earth.

A few months later Jim is made captain and is ordered to report to Admiral Pike for relief of duty.

“Congratulations Captain. Your father would be proud.”

Jim couldn’t help but smile. Pike had no idea how much Jim looked up to him let alone that Jim viewed him as the father he never knew, the father he always dreamed of.

They set off on their first mission shortly after that and it wasn’t long before they found themselves in hot water. They stumbled on a planet that was experiencing some difficulties with their main food supply. The main problem being that their crops withered and died and their bodies couldn’t process any of the native animals.

Jim had a panic attack on the way back to the shuttle and Spock had to assist him the rest of the way to the shuttle. Once on board he crawled to the corner and curled up in a ball muttering to himself about feeding his kids. “The littles need food to stay alive. I’ll be alright. They can have my share.”

With the Enterprise and Doctor McCoy unreachable due to interference in the atmosphere  Spock did the only thing he knew to do. He placed his fingers on certain points on Jim’s face and took a deep breath.

Hunger.

He’d never been this hungry before but he has to keep them safe. He has to feed them.

The kids. His kids.

Starving. Scared. Safe.

He is their protector.

Spock removed his hand and looked at his captain. His friend. Jim’s crystal blue eyes looked back at him with tears welling in them. Spock stepped back and waited until he moved to stand before speaking.

He apologized.

For everything. Jim sighed deeply and nodded. “I guess it’s something you should know about.”

“I am sorry.”

Leonard knew and now Spock knew.

Jim straightened his shirt and smoothed his hair before stepping back out of the shuttle. Spock went to the medbay to speak with Leonard about what he had seen during his mind-meld with Jim. Leonard filled in some of the blanks against his better judgement but since Jim was reluctant to talk about it he was the only other option.

There was a silent agreement among the three of them not to discuss it.

[jamest-kirk]

What if Jim threatens to quit one day because everything feels like too much and his crew/family is there for him? + Mckirk?

It doesn’t happen often, but Jim is just so tired. After everything they’ve been through, sometimes it’s just too much. He remembers the names of every crew member who died under his command, and though he’s okay on most days, there are nights when these dead crewmembers haunt him. Relentlessly, all night, keeping him awake. The one thing that calms him down is when Bones turns around in bed, and Jim finds an arm around his waist. Most nights, finding Bones press himself against his back is enough to have him calm down. But sometimes, that still doesn’t stop him from staring out the bedroom window at the passing stars, guilt bothering him until morning.

It all goes spiraling out of control when the Enterprise is under attack again the second time York Town is under fire by a violent alien race - hellbent on destroying that “giant floating snow globe”. It’s not just his crew that suffers, a lot of people die that day. They save the city, but it’s a hollow victory. Being called a hero doesn’t feel genuine when so many people didn’t make it. Jim Kirk’s not a hero, he just happened to stop the bad guy. A little too late, but he stopped him nonetheless.

“I got a job offer in York Town,” Jim says. Bones is reading a book next to him. “You get job offers all the time,” Bones says. “I’m thinking about taking it.” “Sure you are,” Bones says, and Jim frowns. “I’m serious.” “Uh-huh.” “Bones,” Jim stresses, “I need you to take me serious, here.” At last, Bones puts his book away and sits up straight. Studies Jim’s face for any sign of a joke, or something. “Why would you want a stationary job?” “Too many people died. I think maybe I’m not fit to be a captain anymore.” “What? Jim, none of those deaths were your fault.” “You say that,” Jim says, “but we suffer so many more casualties than any other ship. Maybe it isn’t a coincidence-” “You’re damn right it isn’t. It’s because we keep being assigned to the most dangerous ones, since we’re among the only ones standing a chance of actually making it through in one piece.” Jim smiles lightly at that, and Bones leans in to kiss his forehead. A gentle gesture, but one Jim really appreciates right about now. “If you really want to resign, then you should. But think about it, first. Make sure you know what you want.“

Spock is surprisingly gentle with Jim their next shift, and that makes Jim wonder whether or not Spock and Bones talked. Bones loves that kind of gossip, after all. But as endearing as Spock being gentle is, it doesn’t feel home. Not until he says something so illogical that Spock kind of bursts and lectures him about his leadership choices for at least an hour. Jim’s initially annoyed, then thinks about how hard it would be to give this up for a desk job somewhere safe.

Bones has a night-shift and leaves Jim by himself one night, but then Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu show up in his quarters and refuse to let him sleep early. The four of them drink and watch movies together, though they’re mostly gossiping about husbands, boyfriends, and, in Chekov’s case, whichever alien he’s dating now. Sharing popcorn, stories, and watching old clips filmed by Uhura and Chekov, seeing as both of them like to record even the most mundane things. From Sulu teaching Spock and Uhura gardening skills, to Uhura catching Bones and Jim quietly enjoying a beer in the bar. “I know you are all doing this to keep me here,“ Jim says, and Chekov shrugs. “No,” he says, “we are to spend time with you, in case you do leave.” “What are you going to do exactly when you resign?” Sulu asks. “Admiral,” Jim replies. “That’s not a bad position to have,” Uhura replies, “Pike was very good at that job. You’ll be, too.”

Jim thinks about Uhura’s words later that night when he’s in bed by himself. She wasn’t begging him to stay, just… knowing that they’re there for him, regardless of what he chooses to pursue in the future. And just that is comforting to know, though it simultaneously makes the decision making process much harder. He doesn’t want more deaths, potentially​, but he doesn’t want to be without his crew, either.

He pretends to be asleep when Bones gets back, just because then he can quietly enjoy the sight of Bones tiptoeing around, getting undressed and freshening up for bed. Only when Bones slips in bed with him, Jim turns around to look at the other. He smiles lightly, sliding an arm around Bones’ waist. “Long day at work?” “You’ve got no idea,” Bones says, “if I have to listen to Spock complain about my methods one more time I might throw him out of an airlock.” Jim laughs at that, smiling fondly as the other cups his cheeks and kisses him. “So,” Bones continues, “we arrive in York Town tomorrow. What are we going to do?” “We?” Jim asks. “If you resign, I relocate to a stationary position in York Town, too,” Bones replies, “you don’t think I’m going to go out into space while you’re out here, enjoying faux-fresh air, real food, and bars that don’t run out of alcohol?” He asks, and Jim huffs. “You belong on the Enterprise, Bones.” “No more than you do,” Bones replies, “home isn’t where I am, it’s who I’m with.” “You’re so cheesy,” Jim laughs, running a hand through Bones’ hair, before settling in a comfortable position, closely pressed against the other.

“Have you given our offer any thought, Mr. Kirk?” Commodore Paris asks him when Jim’s arrived at her office. He’s been looking around, taking in her office. He could own the same thing. Windows overlooking the city, a big desk, unfamiliar stats running down her PC screen. “I have,” Jim replies. “I understood you were more considerate of our offer this time.” “I took my time thinking about it,” Jim says, “too many deaths have been on my account-” “Even more might have been, had you chosen a different profession, James. You can’t blame yourself for situations you’ve got no control over. That won’t change in your new position, should you choose to accept it.”

Standing up, in front of the window, Jim glances outside. The bustling city life, still there because the Enterprise put itself between the space station and the enemy. “Do you think you could feel at home here?” Paris asks, and Jim smiles lightly. Thoughts of Bones, and Spock, of the nights with Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu. How Scotty drives him nuts on most days. But he really wouldn't have it any other way. “I couldn’t. Home isn’t where I am,” he says eventually, “it’s who I’m with.”

[heartsywritesthethings]

Story Time

A/N: Alright! It’s time for Tickle Planet Series 4! Honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this but it took me ages to actually get to writing it so I’m just putting it up. I hope y'all enjoy it!

Word count: 1,283

~~~~

“Captain, there’s an incoming transmission coming from Starfleet command.”

Not missing a beat, Captain Kirk orders, “Put it on the view screen, Lieutenant.”

Moments later, Admiral Pike appears on the view screen before the Enterprise crew, data PADD in hand. The Captain addresses, “Admiral. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

Turning the PADD he’d been holding to face the screen, Pike smiles and says, “Well, this is a bit more of personal call, though I would like to discuss this wonderful mission report you sent a couple days ago.”

Jim tilts his head in confusion before realization hits and heat immediately rises to his cheeks. He bites his lip before asking, “We should move this call over to my ready room, don’t you think? Lieutenant could you-“

Pike interjects, “Oh no that won’t be necessary, son. In fact, I think your crew could help out in this conversation. So sit back down, won’t you?”

Reluctantly Jim lowers himself back into the captain’s chair, while the bridge crew continues wondering what’s going on. Once Pike is satisfied in the level of curious attention he’s receiving, he looks back to the report in his hand. He hums while looking it over before asking, “Where’s the newest addition to your crew, Jim?”

Sulu and Chekov both look to each other with mischief in their eyes, now aware of just which report the admiral was viewing. Before Jim can mumble an incoherent reply, Sulu adds himself to the conversation, asking, “Did you mean the tickle monster that Captain Kirk practically begged to keep? And names Smores? The one that basically has its own spot in the Captain’s chair? Yeah he’s either in the Captain’s lap or his quarters.”

Chekov –with a quick look behind him– confirms, “He is in fact in ze Keptin’s lap, Admiral.”

The subject in question purrs as he nuzzles into the spluttering captain’s stomach. Jim’s cheeks are steadily getting redder under the scrutiny of a laughing admiral. Despite the embarrassed smile on his face, Jim attempts a glare at his two friends. Sulu and Chekov smile innocently back at him, prompting a muttered, “Traitors.”

Pike reclaims the crew’s attention with an amused clearing of his throat. However, Jim’s attention remains averted from the older man as he absentmindedly pets the small bundle in his lap. Unperturbed by the lack of heed from the young captain, Pike prompts, “Jim, I do want to hear about this mission, but off the record. I’ve already heard Captain Kirk’s account. I’m far more interested in what my boy Jim though of the adventure and his new friend. And I promise that I ain’t make fun of you… too much. I’ll keep it to a minimum, but only because I know I can trust that McCoy has a majority of the teasing covered.”

Brushing a hand through his hair, Jim chuckles, agreeing, “Yeaaah. He definitely does.”

There’s a quick flutter of fingers over the back of Jim’s neck as another voice adds, “You’re damn right I do. Someone has to make sure this kid’s head stays down on Earth with the rest of us.”

“Doctor, the Captain could not possibly be kept in Earth as we are all currently in another system entirely.”

McCoy groans. As he pushes away Jim’s hands in order to continue tickling behind his ears, Bones argues, “You know exactly what I meant you hobgoblin. Stop pretending not to understand normal phrases just so you can point out the illogicalness of us primitive humans.”

“Not to ruin your fun, but I suggest stopping you bickering and leaving Kirk be; the kid has a story to tell.”

The two officers begrudgingly cease their typical quarrel and Jim is allowed to breathe freely once that devious hand retracts. Though it takes an extra moment or two to get Smores to back off. Of course when he’s settled down, he becomes aware of the many expectant looks he’s receiving. With a quick clearing of his threat, Jim begins, “This is all completely off the record. You read the official report so you already know the basics of what all happened, especially because Bones actually wrote a majority of it for me, but you probably realized that.”

Chris nods his head, confirming, “Yes I am well aware of that especially considering you would never admit to your enjoyment of tickling in general much less in an official report.”

“Wait WHAT?! Bones what the fuck?”

“It’s not my fault you never actually read what I wrote up for you before you signed it, kid.”

“Oh hold on you two. Jim, you seriously never read this report that I’m holding? Really? Son… you goofed. I think I should just read you the exact part I’m talking about.”

This statement is met with cheers of encouragement from a majority of the bridge, an approving nod from Spock, and adamant refusal from Jim (who is ignored). Chris readjusts his posture, leaning toward with the report, he jokingly chides, “Alright calm down children. You need to be quiet for story time.”

At this point, Scotty has made his way onto the bridge thanks to a quick comm from Uhura. Sitting himself on the arm of the captain’s chair despite Jim’s protests, Scotty chirps, “Oh I love story time. Perfect timing, innit?”

Uhura calls out, “Now lets all be quiet so we can listen to the undoing of our beloved Captain.”

“How ‘bout we don’t? Let’s not.”

The crew finally stop their chatter in order to allow Chris to begin. Jim is only quiet because of the hand Bones has clasped over his pout. With everyone’s attention, Pike starts, “Now this is a short story; only one sentence. So pay attention, I don’t like repeating myself. Ahem. ‘It was discovered that the species do, in fact, enjoy tickling others, especially if the target’ –which in this case was our dear Jim– 'also enjoys the activity.’ AKA Captain James T. Kirk admitted he enjoys being tickled in an official, signed report.”

The crew laughs and applauds while Jim takes the chance to try disappearing into his chair, which is impossible. But dammit he is gonna try. It’s Uhura who takes note of Jim’s behavior, noticing he’s beyond the embarrassed stage and more uncomfortable. As she’s in charge of communications, she’s able to ease Jim’s nerves with what she knows. “Kirk, the mission was assigned to us specifically by Admiral Pike, so the report went straight to him. No one else saw it.”

Pike adds, “She’s right. No need to worry, the rest of the fleet still thinks you’re a trouble making bad boy. How that is, I’ll never know. It’s quite the opposite. I’m proud of you, Jim.”

Jim’s blushing from both the embarrassment and the praise. He complains, “You just did a total 180 from making fun of my to saying you’re proud of me; that’s so weird.”

Bones is quick to swipe a finger behind Jim’s ear to draw out a squeak. “We can definitely go back to making fun of you.”

“Nohoho! That’s okahay.”

Chris let’s out a laugh as he watches each member of the crew try to get a hand in to tickle Jim. Smiling fondly, Pike speaks above the noise, “Well I’m gonna be signing off now, you children. I’ll talk to you more another time. And let me just say, you’re the weirdest jumbled family. Glad to be a part of it. Pike out.”

Through his laughter, Jim manages to shout a goodbye. It’s not long before the crew leaves Jim to catch his breathe. Though it’s not much longer until they’re poking at him once again.

[speedygal]

Do you want to see what my five times fic deleted scenes are? well you are going to see it right now

Before McCoy knew it, Spock and Jim had weasled him into their union. He should have taken the hint years ago when Spock had dropped the 'starting a family' nonsense. He should have known. The stardate was 2293. He should have known the pain and the misery that would come from it. Watching Jim fall apart from Spock's sacrifice. A shell of a man he once knew. It hurt McCoy too, living with  Spock's katra in his head for  hours. The space whales, genesis, David's death, Saavik's betrayal against Star Fleet to thwart the Khitomer treaty, and watching his two best friends be in disarray.

"I need a break," McCoy said, leaning against the wall.  He was in his white regulation sirt.

"Break?" Jim suddenly came out of thin air with a much more than amused expression on his face. Admiral Kirk, he was known then. His brown hair was slowly turning gray and the curls were more evident. He looked up toward the younger man. "Saavik was . . ." The admiral was unable to finish it. "I. . it is hard to get over that."

"She was like Spock's daughter in every way," McCoy said. "what if we had adopted her?"

"You would not be able to handle it, Bones," Jim said.

McCoy sat down into the chair.

"You are right," McCoy said. "did we make the right choice?" he looked up toward the man.

"We had to get out of the penal colony," Jim said.

". . . And how about the time you had sex with another version of yourself?" McCoy asked.

"Bones," Jim said. "I did not have sex with myself. We talked."

"That is what Nixon said!" McCoy said.

"Nixon never did that," Jim said.

"I have made my point," McCoy said. Jim laughed, taking the jacket off tossing it to the nearby chair.

"Really, Len?" Jim asked, coming over to the doctor.

"Really," McCoy said, as Jim lifted the man up to his feet. His hands wrapped around the doctor's thigh.

0000000 "I need a goddamn retirement," McCoy said, when a pair of Romulans cornered him and Pavel on a trip to Vulcan to visit a ailing Amanda. 000

"I need a damn retirement without being abducted," McCoy grumbled,  his arms folded in the brig alongside Pavel. 0000

"I need a retirement without gettin' hurt and bein' abducted," McCoy complained to himself, tending to Pavel who had a shoulder injury.

SECOND FIVE TIMES SCENE THAT NEVER WAS FINISHED

They had discovered several new planets.

A couple worm holes.

The home planet of some new species that had reached warp capabilities.

"Pavel, Spock," McCoy said. "I can't seem to find Jim."

"We did not just the kaptain two hours into a away mission," Pavel said. They were underwater in swimming gear complete with helmets and a suit that outlined their figures and were comfortable to be in. McCoy could feel Spock's concern for the captain. Jim's curiosity had gotten to the better of him and now he was terrified.  All eyes went on Spock then into the direction they had came.

"We must go find him," Spock said.

"Lets not split up," McCoy said.

"Sounds like a good idea," Pavel said. "six eyes are better than two."

Spock held his two fingers out and the doctor completed it feeling a shiver of arousal coursing through his body. An image of Spock pinning him against the rock sunk into the man's body. He could feel the Vulcan's need to mate with him through the  bond---McCoy froze in horror. They had to find Jim right now. Their Vulcan was about ready to go into Pon Farr. McCoy returned a smile sending a image back of the Vulcan inside a cave being given a proper McCoy suck. Spock's last had an addition to it: Kirk. McCoy had refused to add his last name to Spock. It had been seven years since their first five year mission. It was mind boggling to think of it that way.  Spock's face turned a shade of dark green.

"Yes," McCoy said. "Six eyes are better than two."

"Indeed," Spock agreed.

"Let's go," Pavel said.

The search for Jim Kirk went on longer then it actually should. McCoy called out for Jim

"Jim!" McCoy called. "James Tiberius Kirk, get your bubble ass out!"

McCoy had his hands on the side of his waist.

T'nash-veh ashalik, Spock called through the bond, where are you?

McCoy turned around.

"Shhhhit," McCoy said. He tapped on the side of the helmet. "McCoy to Chekov!"

::Doctor!::

"Hey Pasha--"

::Ve been looking all over for you. Where did you sneak to?::

McCoy looked around curious.

"Not sure," McCoy said.

second storyarch that never was

Until his happiness ended. "Ow," Pavel winced. "Do not move yourself, Pasha," McCoy said. "Doctor," Pavel looked over to see the doctor had been growing a stubble.  "how lon'. . ." "A day, probably," McCoy said. "the shuttle craft crash landed against a small little mountain that did a lotta damage," the doctor had a long pause. "I could not find the other security officers," Pavel lowered his head. "It's like the sharks smelled their blood and feasted on them. We were in the front so the sharks could not get to us." Pavel noticed that around his right black pant leg was a blue sleeve that was tied and knotted. He could see that it was stained. "Have you tried makin' contact with the Enterprise?" Pavel said. McCoy took out his broken communicator. "Uh, the commander?" Pavel asked. "Apparently, I am Psi-Null," McCoy said. "I used to be psi-positive until that awful mind probe on Galax Twelve," he shook his head. "whatever she did to my mind it was pretty irreversible and extensive." "Doctor. . ." Pavel said. "you could have told us that." "Pavel, no one can help me with that," McCoy said. "What about the Vulcan healers?" Pavel asked. "Spock gave it a go," McCoy said. "there is nothin' that can be fixed." "I am so sorry," Pavel said. "When I first woke up. . .  I was terrified," McCoy admitted.  Now Pavel understood why the doctor had returned to drinking lately at the bars. He used to be so blissful and happy despite his complaining demeanor.  "I saw them. I didn't feel them. I could not feel the bond. It was as though it was never there." "It makes you worry more about them than yourself," Pavel said. "Back where I started," McCoy said. The doctor sighed. "No," Pavel said. "you are not where you started." McCoy cocked a brow back. "What makes you think that?" "They love you," Pavel said. "that should count. And they don't care about a bond." "I wish that were true," McCoy said. "ya see. . . Spock's clock is up this year.  It was goin' to be our first . . ." McCoy felt himself become emotional. He stopped himself, recomposing himself, his hands clasped together. He felt fury, anger, and sadness, all at the same time. "now off about me." he looked off toward the  Russian. "I heard that you, Ben, and Hikaru are considerin' again making a child." "We are considerin' it," Pavel said. "Ben is willing to forego his career to become a full time father." "That is good," McCoy said. "But Hikaru is more concerned about Ben than about the child," Pavel said. "is he goin' to be happy bein' home and not doin' what he loves the most?" Pavel sighed. "The last time I talked to Ben, he vas determined on resolving  Hikaru's concerns."

AND THE CAT ONE. That inspired these two to tackle on a cat!McCoy story. I showed it to them. @frostedej @theconsultingconstableinabluebox

Climbing a mountain was one thing. Running through a mountain area was another story. In all regards, no one really anticipated the surrounding climate to be rocky and made of mountains that ranged in height making to the clouds with few flat planes coated in grass, trees, and a small pond. The nearby area where a federation colony had just been established was several kilometers away along a man made path. Climbing to get a dream accomplished was a easier story then going down said mountain area. Humans were determined on chopping down a entire mountain. In the past, it took years and years of work that very people took the challenge. A challenge that usually lasted a lifetime by focusing their work day in and day out on chopping it away. Large rocks laid in the way could always lead someone to fall down onto the ground and get some cuts on their hands and knees. Such as, say, part of a away team running from threats. Namely Scotty and McCoy. It was 2272, and nothing was different about exploring space. Not at all. Scotty and McCoy were fleeing from a attack party. Scotty came to a stop seeing the mouth of a cave then bolted in. McCoy came to a abrupt stop looking in both directions. Scotty came speeding out then took McCoy by the arm leading him in. The two were in the darkness of the cave watching the werewolf like natives run past the cave. It almost looked like they were bouncing against the surface of the ground compared to how people usually walked. "Question," Scotty said. "is it me or does the captain dramatically skip when he runs?" "Not you," McCoy said. Scotty looked over to see the natives were gone. "I think we can get our communicators back," Scotty said. "Nah uh," McCoy said. "you saw what they did to Robert." "Poor lad," Scotty said. "They killed him when he came back to rescue us," McCoy said. "I am sorry but I am not ready to die," McCoy looked at the exit. It was a stupid idea to establish a federation colony here without fully looking around to find the  Calhouns. "Jim and Spock better not have not gotten themselves killed rescuing the colonists." "In all respect, you would kill them if they did somethin' stupid," Scotty said. "Uh huh," McCoy said. "Somethin' feels off about this cave." "How off?" Scotty asked. "Like a bear is hibernatin' here," McCoy said. "or a dragon restin'. We should find a better cave." "What if that cave has a dragon?" Scotty asked. "It won't, Scotty,"  McCoy said. The two poked their heads out of the rounded rocky mouth opening looking onwards to see that there were a series of other caves from across where heavy rounded boulders lay blocking view of what lay behind it. Scotty had learned to trust the doctors gut as it has spared their lives too many times to count. Scotty had been on many away missions with the younger man. Sometimes the young had better gut feelings than him. Scotty had none what so ever, but, they did only kick in when it came to mechanical related scenarios. Scotty and McCoy were drinking buddies, shared the same bathroom-turned-liquor-cabinet and took turns sharing the bath tub. Sometimes, you got to trust your doctor. There was a deep, threatening growl from behind the two men. The ground trembled beneath their feet. The pair ran into the next cave. The Calhoun natives heard the ground crack beneath their feet as a ten feet tall dark dragon with thick wings and a muscular build came out appearing to be pissed. The dragon roared knocking down a large boulder shattering it to pieces. It released gravel from the ground firing it at the Calhouns. The Calhoun's fled screaming running away from the dragon. The dragon snorted then went back into the cave. Scotty and McCoy panted once reaching the deep inside of the second cave. McCoy relaxed, looking around to find cave paintings dotting the walls. There were tools that once had been long ago laying about the rocky scenery. There were small cubbies covered in cobwebs, a several small stools, and the scenery was highlighted by the glow in the dark. "Did we nae just leave their base?" Scotty asked. "We did," McCoy said. "probably thousands of years old," he gestured toward one of the paintings. "look at the pointy ears and the terrible bowl cut representation," Scotty squinted his eyes. "and the long robes,"  Scotty rubbed the back of his neck almost gasping when he finally saw what the doctor was seeing. "Vulcans came here because someone started warp drive, but then the natives destroyed it, and sent them runnin' showing their lack of interest of being warp capable and workin' with those different from them." "Ah, but look at the attire," Scotty said. "that looks like Romulan." "Romuans change their outfit designs more frequently than Vulcans," McCoy said. "they have terrible sense of fashion." "True," Scotty said. "And look," McCoy said. "they have a lump behind the head." "A hood," Scotty said. "Vulcans are mysterious, calm, and 'no emotions bein's," McCoy said. "Romulans are neither of the three," he pointed to another picture. "and look at that terrible hood. It makes them look like monks." Scotty laughed. "It does," Scotty agreed. "what if Vulcans inspired the dressware for Monks on Earth?" McCoy paused, considering it rubbing his chin. "I would not put it past them," McCoy said. "Ye know Vulcans are the most stubborn species," Scotty said. "a ignorant race would nae deter them from becomin' allies and helpin' them in what little way they could tae allow them develop at their own pace." "Just like they did for us," McCoy said. "probably was somethin' big." "Don't say anythin' appallin'," Scotty said. "Spock would find this fascinating," McCoy said. "and so many historians," he lifted his medical tricorder up and turned the settings for the camera mode up then held it out in the direction of the paintings. "like, this could be somethin' that the Vulcans refused to give us a heads up." "Or they forgot about the planet," Scotty said. "Ah no way," McCoy said. "they are a stickler for rules." "They lost information," Scotty said. "remember in the history lessons that they lost Surak's original teachin's." "They have made great advancements to what they are as of this century," McCoy said. "For the best," Scotty said. "I heard they were ignorant." "I can't believe I am sayin' this," McCoy said. "but  I am overjoyed that Spock has a open mind." Scotty nodded. "What do you think of the new Vulcan lieutenant?"Scotty asked. "Xon," McCoy said. "nice kid." "Kid?" Scotty asked. "he is a genius." "Confused and tryin' to feel his way around about blendin' in a human work environment," McCoy said. "not a a genius as Spock praises him to be." "He is just a newbie to servin' on a starship like the Enterprise," Scotty said. "Personally?" McCoy said. "he would make  a great addition under the command of the next captain." "Aye," Scotty said. "he has a bright future. . . if he gets the right advice." "Ya kiddin' me?" McCoy said. "are ya implyin' that he won't get it?" "He ended up insulting a crewmen and gettin' suspended," Scotty saaid. "I wasn't there," McCoy said. "I was busy with an issue that Pavel was experiencin'. I only got to talk with Xon regardin' thermal mechanics of a dryin' machine  bein' backward engineered into a medical device that deals with dry skin specifically and smaller than the one in the market." Scotty laughed. "Poor, poor, poor Xon," Scotty said. "So I had to politely ask him to buzz off by gettin' him to another crewmen because he wouldn't stop talkin' about it," McCoy said. "He does small talk terrible," Scotty said. "That was small talk?" McCoy said.  "That was more of an essay!" He grunted. "I tried changin' the subject numerous times but that only made the topic go into different directions. Now, I didn't know until now that they have too many star beasts reboots but that was completely unnecessary." "I am torn about what to feel regardin' you attractin' science officers," Scotty said. "Everyone I have befriended, other than the command team, are science officers," McCoy said. "I wonder why it is that way." "Are ye kidding me?" Scotty asked. McCoy looked over toward Scotty raising an eyebrow. "Nevermind, Len," Scotty said, patting on the man's shoulder. McCoy eyed at the drawings on the wall when he heard the thud of the body alongside him. He looked over to see Scotty on the ground, unconscious. "Scotty!" McCoy came to the man's side then checked for a pulse. Scotty was still alive, thank god. Scotty groaned. The doctor breathed a sigh of relief. "Hello, healer." McCoy looked up feeling his skin run cold to see the familiar figure belonging to a Calhoun member. His gray eyes staring through McCoy's soul. The hair on the back of his neck rose up. McCoy felt like he was a cat that had been caught in the middle of trying to catch fish with its pats. His stomach twisted inside as he experienced a strange feeling that he wouldn't walk away the same from this encounter. Others came out of the darkness surrounding them. He recognized Charless. McCoy knew what the man wanted. Charless was in a dark cat suit that fit his skin and body type, it seemed comfortable a bit like spandex. "Charless," McCoy said. "You are at a disadvantage," Charless said. "it looks like the deputy took your 'ray gun'." "Phaser," McCoy corrected. "Same thing," Charless twirled his finger. "You won't hurt him, right?" McCoy asked. "You read my mind," Charless said. "not even going to argue?" McCoy glared back at the man. McCoy stared back with a defeaning serious expression on his face not speaking a world. "so that is how you are going to handle this." McCoy took off his jacket. He  placed his medical knap sack alongside the scotsman then left the man's head up and tucked his folded jacket under the man's head. He got up and then we can hear the sound of footsteps walking away. Honestly, it was the second painful thing McCoy had done in his life. He didn't want to do it. But if he wanted to leave his friend alive rather than dead:  sometimes  tough things have to be done. Jim was going to lead a rescue team to bring him back. Jim was the kind of captain who went back for his men. Now, honest to god, McCoy hadn't expected that Jim came back with Spock and Pavel and lieutenant Jacklyn Jefferson. Pavel was leaned against the wall humming to himself a tune. The song could not be pinpointed as it didn't repeat a melody. It was like a song that never ended.  Jim was pacing back and forth in his own cell. Spock was in the other cell. Jacklyn had died on the field protecting the Russian. Charless came in  with his colleagues holding a small box in his arms. His colleagues were Bar'ess, Lew'iss, and Tur'iss ranging in ethnicity. The calhouns had different nationalities just like humans but they were not noticable at first except for the color of the face in terms of shade.  Jim's hair was slowly turning brown.  "Captain Kirk," Charless said. Jim stood up, abruptly, appearing to be alarmed. "Did you find him?" Jim asked. Charless shook his head. "We only found. . . what they did to him," Charless said. "tattered uniform." Spock  raised an eyebrow. "almost destroyed but you should see it for yourself," In reality, McCoy was a gray and white cat sitting in Spock's lap being stroked by the man. The box was handed to Jim through the bars. He opened the side ways box. "you should plan a escape before they plan your execution for coming back." "We didn't know," Jim said, as he sat down onto a bench. "we didn't know." "Thank you, Mr Charless," Pavel said, as Spock had stopped stroking McCoy. Spock wanted to reach out and comfort the captain. The bars were stronger than the Vulcan's strength. Jim rubbed his forehead, upset. Instead, Spock opted to send through their bond a wave of comfort and sympathy. "I am not gone," McCoy wanted to say. "but you should be!" Didn't it not click to Spock? Or to Jim of all people? Had they not been noticing the man's interest in him? Why, they were in another world, technically, not in the room. He wanted to tell Jim, "I am not dead. Stop actin' like I died." All McCoy had been thinking about was being petted and how soothing it was. He hadn't thought of Spock by rank or by his name directly. He was careful with his thoughts being touched by the Vulcan. He was touch telepathic after all. Spock had once voiced to McCoy years earlier about, "If you are dreaming of tea, why not get it? It's highly illogical to bait yourself with beverages. Teasing, at most." McCoy hadn't laughed like that in years. Spock had tilted his head, baffled, on the doctors reactions. He would miss that. Winning a majority of their arguments and baffling him. "Goodbye, Captain Kirk," Charless said, then turned away heading back in the direction of the door. "I am deeply sorry for your loss," Bar'ss said, apologetically. Ashaya, Spock said through their bond, the doctor would want one to you to make a mistake that you will regret. Jim saw the tattered remains of McCoy's white shirt in the medium sized box. But what about the colonists? Jim asked. The colonists have no stake in the loss of the doctor, Spock replied. "Keptain?" Pavel asked.  We have to do something, Jim replied. Jim closed the box as McCoy leaped off the Vulcan's lap. Perhaps, Spock replied, in honor of the doctor's memory we leave and do not interfere. I am sorry, Mr Spock, Jim replied, . . . I never faced death until now. We have broken the prime directive with this rescue mission that has failed, Spock continued, Mr Scott is currently blaming himself for getting knocked out. He shouldn't do that, Jim replied. But he is, Spock said. Jim briefly closed his eyes then reopened them to see the cat on his lap. "Meow," McCoy mewed. Jim stroked the side of McCoy's ear and rubbed along it. "We are going to get out of here," Jim said. "and we are going to make sure that Charless pays for disobeying the rules of his own kind." "What rules?" Pavel asked. "Murdering an outsider," Jim said. "we are outsiders. And eyewitnesses." He rubbed the doctor's forehead.  "We have circumstantial evidence." "That makes sense," Pavel said. "Why murder a doctor?" Spock asked. "That is illogical." "No one knows why people cill," Pavel said, with a shrug. "He was acting . . . odd. . . around him." "Tortured to death . . ." Jim muttered. McCoy loudly howled, feeling pain coming from his head. It was a chip in his head. Charless had voiced his interests in having a cat like McCoy to his collection of cats. He had too many cats. McCoy suspected they were all aliens from different planets as some of them had unusual features like ridges on the forehead of some cats.  They could not speak to him. No one understood each other. And some did not have fur but they had an unusual tint to them. He leaped up to the window that had bars. He turned in the direction of Jim, meowing back, flickering his tail. He looked over toward Spock feeling a strong tug in his brain. He stared back at the Vulcan. "You better take care of him," McCoy thought to himself, then off he went after Charless.   Spock and Jim came out of the court room surrounded by media coverage. It had been a tough week trying the case. The first day had to be redone because half of the jury were stained by bias about outsiders. The second day was Spock explaining to the court room regarding McCoy's character and heavy dislike of people hitting on him in a very unsettling manner and god if he hadn't been a cat he would have been red to the face. The third day, Spock, acting as the prosecutor, argued against Charless's defense lawyer about the evidence of his gift. Charless was a morguetician.  The fourth, Scotty testified avout Charless's pals. Spock nearly broke down on the stand. McCoy wasn't alone on the attendance of the trial, he was surrounded by other cats who were victims, but they always had to go home and be cared for by Bar'Less.  And the other friends of the man. Sure McCoy had free will. He just couldnt't  work himself up to reveal himself. It was like any time he was clearly going to work on his typing skills, all that came out was gibberish. How does a cat attempt a way to reveal? Reaching Spock proved to be difficult. Spock was too focused on the trial to listen. And on Jim, mainly. McCoy was getting more cat like day by day. Slowly losing his notable huma half.  His thoughts were changing from coherent to things about 'LETS CATCH THAT RAT' and 'CATCH THAT LASER'. Charless had told him that there wouldn't be any other way to turn him back. He gave him an example. The other cats retained their characteristics while McCoy was not. Perhaps it was because they did not have the chip in their brain. Charless had also admitted he would remove the chip once the rescue team had left. And he was losing hope that he would come back. He wouldn't come back whole. McCoy rested on a rail, purring, to himself.  Pavel came over to the row of cats. "Hello, cittens," Pavel said. McCoy's feline baby blue eyes looked over in the direction of Pavel. "Meow," McCoy mewed. "Aww," Pavel said. "you are so cute," He butt his head against the man's head as he felt the klingon like cat climb over him onto the russian's arm then onto his shoulder. Then the other cats climbed onto the russian to his shoulders and head. "I wish I kan take you back to the ship . . .  but," Pavel slowly took the cats off his shoulders. McCoy rested on the rail glaring grumply at the crowd. "Star Fleet has rules about cats." "Meow," the cats mewed. Pavel rubbed on McCoy's forehead. "Wish I could take you," Pavel said, sadly. He took his hand off the cats forehead then made his way down the stairs. THE ONE THAT WAS HEADING DOWN THE MCCOY TURNS INTO A MEDIUM ROAD RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING AND I WAS ABE TO SPOT IT BECAUSE OF THE PREMISE! The stardate was 2293. The crew went their seperate ways except for Jim, Spock, and McCoy. The Enterprise A had finally been decomissioned. Scotty had accepted admiralcy after their last away mission that involved saving a entire planet from being eaten by a gigantic planet eater. No more running for their lives. No more running from danger. No more splitting up. No more away missions. Though McCoy suspected that with Jim around, that couldn't be helped. It had been a long time since they sat down and enjoyed the silence. McCoy was peacefully resting in the back seat while Jim drove the hover craft.  McCoy could feel emotions that were not his own running through the dream. "T'hy'la," Spock said. "you are going the wrong way." "I did?" "Mr Worf insisted the right way was a turn to the left from the carnivores plant with leaves around the heigh of a child," Spock said. "and I am still unable to find the sound reasoning in visiting him." "Because we can," Jim said. tldr: Leonard McCoy worries too damn much and gives worst case scenarios. I have another one, from the five times fic, that is being turned into a one chaptered story and will be posted onto ao3 because the idea god damn it seemed interesting and  McCoy is demanding I FINISH IT OUT AND POST IT.

[youre-on-a-starship]

Prompt: “would you ever write a fic where you had to take care of an injured/sick Bones?” -Anon

Word Count: 2,932

Author’s Note: Sorry this one took a little longer than expected. I’ve had this idea running around for a long time and I got a little carried away with it. I really hope you enjoy it!

---

Focussing on the pulsing whoosh of blood through your ears helped you focus on the moment at hand. The heat from your coffee cup started becoming too much to bear and you placed it on the table. You ran your fingers through your hair and looked up at the clock. It was going on hour twenty-three.

Two nurses sat across from you, each on their PADDs scrolling through a collection of their messages from each other and from home, trying to collect their thoughts during their brief respite.

“Doctor McCoy?”

You turned at the voice. Christine was in the doorway, a timid look on her face.

“What’s going on?” you asked, standing, already knowing somehow.

“He’s awake.”

“Thank God,” you breathed as you rushed out of the room after her.

You stuck your hand in your pocket to feel for your tricorder as you approached the closed door of Leonard’s room.

“Can you let Captain Kirk know that he’s up?” you asked as you overtook Christine.

“Should I let him in right away?” she started falling back, turning for a computer terminal.

“Let me gauge him first, just keep Kirk outside for now,” you nodded your thanks as you opened the door.

Leonard was laid out under a thin sheet. His arms rested on the top of the sheet, a thick bandage wrapped from wrist to shoulder on his left.

“Hi,” you said, watching as he stared at you, trying to get his bearings. “You with me?”

“I think so,” he groaned. “Havin’ some trouble seein’ you, though.”

“It’s probably the morphine,” you said, pulling out your tricorder and beginning your scan at his head. “Your vision should be alright, you didn’t sustain -”

“Banged my head real good,” he said, his eyebrows twitching. “You ain’t supposed to be doin’ that.”

“I wouldn’t trust anyone else with you,” you said, pausing your scan for a moment and meeting his swimming hazel eyes.

“What happens when I die?”

“Don’t you start,” you snapped, resuming your scan. “That’s exactly why I couldn’t let anyone else have you. I trust myself.”

Leonard was quiet while you finished your scan. You were aware of his eyes on your face the whole time, reading you for clues about his condition. You were careful not to give anything away, keeping your jaw set and your eyes trained on the tricorder readouts.

When you put the device away, Leonard finally spoke again.

“Am I gonna live?” he tried to sound nonchalant, but you heard the dead tone in his voice.

“I think so,” you winked at him. “Lee, can you remember anything about what happened?”

“I remember the fall.”

Of course he'd skip to the good part.

“Can you tell me what lead up to that?” you prodded, stepping to the computer terminal and inputting the tricorder’s readouts.

“I was with Spock, we were running from their security team. Spock called for evacuation, and then they started firing,” Leonard took a deep breath. You looked back at him and he had his eyes screwed shut.

“Leonard?”

“I thought I was dead, Y/N,” Leonard said.

You stepped to the side of the bed and gently laid a hand on the side of his face.

“You’re not dead, Lee,” you breathed. “You’re right here.”

“I know,” he mouthed, blinking in place of nodding. “They started firing. I took one to the leg. I went down, I rolled… Rolled right off a damn cliff.”

“You didn’t hit the bottom,” you said.

“No?” he looked up at you, eyes swimming with morphine and worry and relief. “I blacked out when I hit the outcropping.”

“Scotty got you.”

Leonard let out a small puff of air like a laugh.

“So what’s the damage?”

“It’s not good, Lee,” you set yourself gingerly on the side of the bed and stroked his hair with your fingertips. “You hit that cliff face really hard.”

“Am I going to walk again?” he asked, seeming to sense where this was going.

“I’m optimistic,” you nodded. “You broke your spine in two places, snapped your femur clean in half…”

“What about this?” Leonard looked down at his arm, the bandage contouring to the definition of the limb.

“Surprisingly, you didn’t shatter it. Cracked the humerus in two places, nothing serious. You tore the skin right off most of it. We did a graft and we’re giving you periodic treatments with the dermal regenerator. It’ll heal the fastest,” you reached down and touched your fingers to his. “You got a nice bump on the head, but no lasting damage as far as we can tell.”

“Who’s ‘we?’”

“M’Benga’s been keeping an eye on me.”

“So my back…”

“We bridged both points and we’re getting promising readings so far,” you looked down the length of his body, “Can you wiggle your toes for me?”

Leonard sucked in a deep breath and you saw tiny twitching movements under the blanket.

“You might just walk again, McCoy,” you smiled softly at him, tracing your eyes over his face. “How’s the pain?”

“Can’t feel it, just uncomfortable.”

“I wish I could move you,” you stroked his hair again. “Is there anything you want, Lee?”

“I’m not going to be able to get back to work any time soon, am I?”

“Not for a little while. If you’re good and do everything we tell you to we might be able to get you back behind your desk within the month. But you’re sure as hell not doing anything physical for a while, yet.”

His eyes glazed over with tears and he tried blinking them away. He looked down his body and you saw his jaw tighten as he grit his teeth.

“Hey, Lee?” you murmured, standing and leaning over his head.

“Yeah?” he looked up at you with these wide, childlike eyes.

“I need to go talk to Jim, he wanted to know when you woke up.”

“I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“I won’t let him in, then,” you dipped your head and waited for his eyes to flutter closed in consent before you touched your lips to his. “And Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for not dying.”

“Anytime,” the corner of his mouth tugged up slightly as you stood up. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Anytime,” you smiled at him as you strode to the door.

“He’s awake?” Kirk greeted you on the other side. You made sure the door was closed before you stepped away from it.

“He’s awake, yeah,” you said, rubbing your face before carding your fingers through your greasy hair.

“Can I see him?” Kirk had wild eyes.

“He’s asked for privacy right now,” you stuffed your hands in your pockets, realizing you left your tricorder in Leonard’s room. “He’s just not up to it yet.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Kirk nodded, staring pointedly at the ground before looking back up at you. “How bad is he?”

“He’ll live, I have no doubt about that,” you said, ushering Kirk back to the coffee room. “He fractured the spine in two places, but we’ve successfully bridged that. Snapped the femur, but we set and bonded that. We got the bullet out of his thigh. Broke the humerus in two places, we bonded that, and we grafted the skin on his arm and he’s responding well to the regeneration treatments, so I’d say it’s only a matter of time until he’s back to his grouchy self.”

Kirk nodded as you sat across from him at the break table. The nurses were all gone; it was just the two of you in the small space.

“How are you holding up?” he asked after a moment of silence.

“I’ve been better,” you nodded. “I… I really thought I lost him, Jim.”

Kirk reached across the table and you took his hand, leaning your other arm on the table to support your head as you bent over, letting the hours that lead up to this moment catch up to you.

“I thought marrying the CMO was the safe choice,” you breathed into your sleeve.

Kirk just rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand.

“That’s why I did what I did, Jim,” you lifted your head and looked at him through rippling eyes. “I couldn’t let him die.”

“I know,” Kirk said. “And if it comes down to it, I’ll make a case for you. I know no one in this medbay could’ve done a better job, ‘cept the man himself.”

“I couldn’t let him die,” you breathed again. “It’s not that I don’t trust anyone else, it’s just that I… I had to know that if he did… if he did die that everything had been done to prevent it. I had to know.”

“I understand,” Kirk said. “And trust me, it sounds like you did everything right. Would you… would you consider stepping down now? Letting M’Benga take over?”

You nodded.

“It’s just rehab now,” you mumbled.

“Exactly. I don’t want to have to explain more than is necessary.”

“I’m sorry for making this difficult for you.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining, I agree with you. If it’s not Bones working on me, it’s you I want. I mean, he and I have history, but you’re amazing.”

You smirked.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Jim?” you asked, withdrawing your hand and drawing yourself up to full height, rubbing your face again as you yawned.

“Just let me know when he’s ready to see me. I don’t just want to talk to him about the report - that’s the least of my worries - I just want to see him for myself. Make sure he’s alright, you know?”

You nodded and tapped the back of your chair with your palm as you stepped to the door.

“Goodnight, Jim.”

“Good afternoon, Doctor.”

Touching the access panel to Leonard’s room, you waited for the door to slide open quietly before stepping in.

Leonard’s eyes snapped open, readjusting to consciousness.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” you smiled, stepping to the computer terminal and grabbing your tricorder. “Left this.”

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you stood next to the bed, looking down at his swimming eyes.

“Will you stay with me?”

You nodded, leaning down to kiss him again.

“I’m going to go back home and take a shower first, alright? If you need anything, M’Benga’s taking over.”

“You handed me off?”

“It’ll make the reports easier. Jim’s already going to have to make some serious arguments to make up for my role in your case.”

“I guess,” Leonard’s fingers twitched as he thought about moving to touch you. You laid your hand on his instead.

“I’m going to go take a shower and then I’ll come back, alright?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll be as fast as I can,” you bent and kissed his forehead. “Rest.”

--

You woke with Leonard’s fingers laced through yours and his sour breath cascading over your face.

“Morning,” he mumbled as you stirred.

“Morning,” you twisted yourself so you could see his face. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Hell if I know, I’ve been in and out.”

You groaned as you sat up. Your chair was several inches lower than the bed, and now your back had seized up.

“How do you feel?” you croaked, stretching your arms over your head.

“Like I’ve been hit by a transport. You?”

“Like I’ve been hunched over for a couple hours. Has Jim been by yet?”

“No, he’ll probably burst in any minute.”

“Great,” you let your arms fall to your sides. You reached up and laid one hand on his hair and the other on his hand. He wound his fingers through yours and squeezed.

“Thanks for saving me,” he murmured.

“You said that already.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“You’re welcome, my love,” you stood and hovered over him watching his face.

His eyes danced around your face before he let them slide shut and the tendons in his neck tensed. You pressed your lips to his with a soft smile.

When you pulled back Leonard tensed his fingers around yours.

“I love you,” he murmured.

As you opened your mouth to respond, the door opened and Kirk walked in. You sat back in your chair and watched as Kirk’s face changed from his usual pleasant resting expression to one of shock.

“Oh my God, Bones,” he breathed, looking at the bandage on Leonard’s arm that was slowly growing pinker the longer he lay there.

Leonard looked down his body, avoiding watching Jim scrutinize him.

“What’s going on Jim?” you asked, trying to draw his attention away.

“Huh?” Jim looked at you, vacant for a moment before shaking his head. “Right, sorry. I’m here to see you, actually.”

“Is this about..?”

“Yeah. Can we step outside?”

“Jim, whatever you have to say you can say here. I’ll just end up telling Leonard anyway.”

Jim sighed and clasped his hands behind his back.

“You’re up for court martial.”

“Shit,” you hissed.

“Are you kidding me?” Leonard raised his voice, wincing at the pain.

“I’m sorry, I really tried -”

“Don’t worry about it,” you waved him off. “I expected this. Can I chose my own JAG lawyer?”

“We’ll have to talk about that privately,” Jim said hesitantly. “I just wanted to let you know right away.”

“Alright. I’ve got someone in mind, anyway.”

“Y/N, I can’t lose you -” Leonard let your fingers go and wrapped his hand around your forearm, gripping like you were about to walk out of the room forever.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“If you get discharged…” there was a panicked warning note in his voice.

“I’m not leaving you alone out here, alright?” you lowered your voice. “You’re hurting me.”

Leonard relaxed his grip but he didn’t let go.

“I’m not leaving. Remember Asha?”

“Yeah,” his voice was small now.

“She’ll help me. Don’t worry about it, alright?”

“We’ll talk about this in private,” Jim said again, eyeing Leonard’s arm. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit, Jim,” Leonard said, still watching you.

“He’s going to be fine, Jim,” you turned to look at the Captain. “It’s going to take time, but he’s going to be right back to normal. I promise.”

“Yeah,” Jim rubbed his temple. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you later, Bones. Y/N.”

Jim turned on his heel and left.

“Fuck,” Leonard hissed.

“He’s just not used to the roles being reversed: he’s supposed to be where you are on any given day.”

“I don’t care about him right now, what are we going to do?” Leonard started squeezing your arm again, although gently this time.

“Like I said, I’m going to try to get Asha as my lawyer.”

“And then what? You can’t lie and say you didn’t operate on me.”

“No, but I only did it because it was an emergency. I can use that as a defence.”

“It’s a bad defence,” he growled.

“She’s done more with less. She’s had a few of these cases in the past, that’s why I want her. Not because she’s my best friend.”

“I can’t lose you,” Leonard squeezed hard once before relaxing again, wincing with the effort.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” you laid your other hand on his. “We’re going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere. You think I didn’t consider this when I took the reigns? I took a calculated risk, Lee. And you’re going to be okay because I did what I did.”

Leonard opened and closed his mouth several times before looking away.

“I don’t know how to be on this end of it.”

“I know,” you rubbed your thumb back and forth on his hand. “Just relax. Sleep if you can. I’m going to figure out what time it is and I’ll see when your next round of regeneration is gonna be. You’ll feel better after that. Are you hungry?”

“I can’t tell.”

“Alright, I’ll find you something,” you lifted his hand from your arm and set it back on the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Leonard nodded and watched as you turned around to leave.

When the door whooshed shut behind you, you leaned back on it, covering your face with your hands.

“You screwed up.”

“I know, Jim.”

“I can get you the lawyer you want,” you felt his hand on your shoulder, “but you’ve got a hell of a fight ahead of you. The Admiralty is pissed.”

“I know,” you let your hands fall to your hips. “Take care of him for me, alright?”

“I will.”

“He’s not in a good place, Jim. He’s scared. When’s the trial?”

“It’s set for two weeks from now.”

“Can we keep this between us for a few days?” you asked, looking up at him. His lips were pursed.

“I can keep it between us for two weeks if you want me to,” Jim squeezed your shoulder.

“He’s just overwhelmed,” you hung your head. “If we can just get some of these injuries off his plate he might feel more up to dealing with… with my mistake.”

“I wouldn’t call it a mistake,” Jim said, “I mean, look at him, he’s alive because of you. It was just one of those decisions. Look, I’m going to be called to testify and I’m gonna do everything I can to -”

“Thanks, Jim,” you said, straightening yourself back up and shrugging his hand off your shoulder. “Is there anything else you need?”

“Not right now.”

“Alright then. My husband needs something to eat and I need a goddamn cup of coffee,” you brushed your uniform straight and strode past Jim to the medbay door.