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rinbylin · 1 year ago

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li xiangyi, yin, and femininity

we all know that li xiangyi is a character of fractured identities. and li lianhua is an unreliable narrator to his own story. these make him not the most straightforward character to study. but I've believed in treating li lianhua as a part of li xiangyi, rather than separates. and there must be a common thread that ties all of him together. thus, I offer what I have found to be the most useful lens to use to view him as a cohesive whole, regardless as li xiangyi, li lianhua, or any other identity he may reinvent into: his 阴 yin qualities. (yin of yinyang)

this framework suggested by the drama's text itself has helped clarify to me his strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and struggles. by identifying this constant, too, makes it so much easier talking about what has changed in him.

[to the, hopefully growing, boli lhl hivemind @markiafc @ananeiah]

there are some notes on the concept of yinyang and chinese conceptualisation of gender I have to preface with.

[disclaimer: of course, I'm not even trying to cover a tip of what experts have extensively studied and debated in a depth it deserves. all I'm doing is try to parse the broad, fundamental ideas that are needed to explain my blorbos through my own spotty brain filter. so there bound to be nuances I've overlooked or some degree of my own interpretation. pretentious but needs to be done.]

阴 yin and 阳 yang are concepts characterised by passiveness, darkness, gentleness, femininity etc, and proactivity, light, toughness, masculinity etc respectively. a very key and handy concept to have in mind is their relationship to each other - which I'll not attempt at explaining better than literal scholars have:

Yin and yang exist only in relation to one another internally as the way warmth-coldness only exist relative to one another. Furthermore, when using yin-yang as an organizational schema, achieving balancing harmony is always the goal, not domination nor subordination of one to the other. [x]

while yin and yang can be symbols of femininity and masculinity, it doesn't mean all female are yin and all male are yang. it's certainly not a strict 1-to-1 equation. the concept of gender in chinese context is more social than biological. this suggests room for fluidity, and shaping of identities, often through social rituals as one journeys through life. it also means that there can be femininity in the masculine, and vice versa - in fact, that's only healthy because you need a good balance of the two worlds. no one part is better than the other. if you think of the two components as relative to each other, they are always interacting and affecting each other, rather than being strict and inert binaries. simply put, it needs to be kept in mind that there are greater nuances in applying yin and yang to the definitions of gender, and to avoid at all cost a simplification of this framework into a binary.

sure, the show has implied that lxy's powers and energy are yin-coded. but femininity is only one of the multiple attributes of yin. so how are we extending lxy's yin to femininity specifically? it's in the text that substantiates and qualifies lxy as feminine. dead women being used as proxies to his character. being literally dressed as a woman in order to put himself into their shoes and feel what they've felt. adopting a name that happens to be very, very feminine - 莲花 lianhua (lit. lotus flower) (it must be caveated that chinese names are NOT gendered. but there are just some names that are more feminine than others.) him coming to lead a life revolving around traditionally feminine, domestic things as li lianhua. him having interactions with the women around him like he's in his own element - no pressure and tension at all, unlike with all the other men.

as such, I'm more willing to use yin and femininity interchangeably in discussing lxy (while it's not necessarily applicable to every point that will be mentioned albeit there being some degree of implied association). and it's for the sake of elucidating what I feel is an intention or very plausible reading of the canon text in parsing feminine experiences in lxy's character. and thus, his queerness.

one last note is that taoism is going be mentioned quite a bit as well because of how much it as a philosophy honours the yin quality. its key tenets include valuing passiveness and inaction as a form of action, and submitting to the nature of things. and we will see how those come up in lxy's life too. (though I'm not gonna attempt to deep dive into it here beyond broad strokes of it.)

a huge part of li xiangyi's yin actually manifests in him being a passive person. this applies not just to li lianhua, but also li xiangyi. I know. ok wait hear me out. the idea of yinyang is after all components that can change and are relational to each other: thus, there were points in li xiangyi's life when he was less passive than other points, but they ultimately don't match up to the degree of aggression displayed by other men around him. so relative to their display of proactivity and aggression, he can be considered as passive. the best example is that of shan gudao proposing to launch an offensive on jinyuan alliance, while lxy - as much as he was arrogant about it - was standing his ground on not taking action in favour of peace.

it has already showed up in his childhood as well. he wasn't a particularly competitive child: 从来都没有谁要和你争 nobody has ever thought of competing with you over anything, he told sgd as he recalled of their times growing up. it was in fact sgd who was desperate to control and override lxy's presence. baby lxy did not hesitate at all over giving up on winning in favour of protecting his only rare few close relationships left in the world (given how hard-earned relationships are when they're non-familial !!!!). as much as I resent the one-dimensional writing of sgd, he has served as a very strong marker to highlight on lxy's yin.

I've harped on it several times before but this is the time I finally get to explain it proper: my own theory is that li xiangyi became an unparalleled swordsmaster because of his yin/feminine quality, not in spite of it. an interesting point that had been out in the open unclaimed until it was brought up in our friend group is that, li xiangyi does not actually fit anybody's conventional image of a 武林盟主 wulin mengzhu (ie. ruler of wulin). it would most likely have been some burly, muscular, ultra-masculine dude. even if they don't look like the demonic monk, it should be someone more like di feisheng. but. it's li xiangyi, the boyish, delicate-looking kid, who came to the top. (no wonder people - mostly men - love or love to bully hate him like weak men hate powerful women??)

"why didn't they cast someone who looks more like a wulin mengzhu (read: traditionally manly)?" no, no that's precisely the point. nobody said wulin mengzhu have to look manly. and also who is to define the manliness required to be in a place of authority? (or in my other meta, we would ask, who is to define anybody gets to have the authority over anyone else at all?)

by taoist ideal, gentleness is the most refined form of strength. li xiangyi has been haunting and distracting me in my chinese calligraphy practices lately because I'm thinking about how this must be the closest to what it felt like lxy becoming the best swordsman in jianghu. (so pretentiously brainrotten of me, I know, BUT IT'S REAL and I'm suffering.) mastering a chinese art is essentially about mastering a delicate balance between force and gentleness; being able to draw force from softness 柔中带刚 and an ability to maintain this balance. a beginner will instinctively hold a brush for the first time with brute, unrefined force. some fairly reputable contemporary calligraphers, according to my teacher, can be seen as being either too soft or too forceful - but are still able to pass off as good enough. it's then, the master of masters who will have the sophistication of a firm yet flexible control of the brush with the appropriate use of gentleness/laxness that produces a harmony of strokes. this idea extends to any other sort of chinese craft or practice including traditional chinese medicine, and I believe, swordsmanship too. I'm taking a fucking leap of faith here to say this because I practise NO sort of (chinese) martial arts, I must caveat. (someone who does may want to say something...) but theoretically that should be how it works.

it is not for no rhyme or reason, or *handwaves* that lxy emerged to the top AND is almost undefeatable. among a competitive, forceful (ie. yang) wulin, li xiangyi stood out with a power and energy defined by yin (ie. gentleness and stability) that led him to create his signature 扬州慢 yangzhouman. it is characterised by 慢 slowness (my calligraphy teacher says to us all the time to take it slow), and also described by dfs as 中正绵长 - which I would best describe by painting a picture of a steady and stable stream. these precisely speak of the essence of a mastery of gentleness as strength to me.

conversely, dfs's way in mastering power is very largely premised on taking action because he literally had no other choice in the environment he grew up in. both of them develop in opposite ways. it was the case of gentleness for lxy clearly because he grew up in a safe, nurturing environment that had allowed him to be slow and steady at his own pace, drawing on his natural gifts.

now top of the wulin world at 17, li xiangyi founds sigu sect. li xiangyi, the boy before becoming menzhu and li xiangyi the leader of sigu sect are not the same.

how then did a (relatively) passive boy like lxy end up founding sigu sect. this lxy is the one who was fostered into competition - though not in an abusive, twisted way. in fact he was raised in a rather taoist way by his shifu: to be honest with yourself and respect your opponent. so he honoured whatever powers he had been bestowed with by nature. he gives into it. even so, at another level, I just have a sense that shifu and shiniang's competitive marital spat had an insidious effect on the boys...though the detrimental effect was more on sgd than lxy. baby lxy feels like a sweet-natured kid who was just in his own zone, you know - some (aka sgd) would say, too much of him even, to have not realised what was wrong at all with his shixiong for years.

that's not all of course. I've always gotten the vibes that his attitude behind forming sigu sect felt more like, this is what all the good men of jianghu do and I will have to do it now especially that I'm the best. it didn't feel particularly personal to me, but rather what would have been expected of him by the social climate of wulin jianghu (eg. lxy saying to 光耀师门 bring honour to his teacher). it's definitely not an expectation from his shifu, who explicitly told him that he was never expected to become a noble figure of any sort, but just to be alive and contented. as concluded by the man himself as li lianhua: "有些人入了江湖是为了立心，而有的人入江湖为的是立命。我却不知道自己真正想要的是什么。some people enter jianghu for the cultivation of the mind, others for a cultivation of a meaningful life. but I never knew what I truly wanted." he was ultimately, unwittingly a passive player in his own story of becoming the great sigu sect leader.

(at this point, as a side note, I do wonder if there were any other similar sects or alliances that function the same as sigu sect that came before it. because I'm damn well sure there must be something, as likely as there must have been generations of wulin legends who came before lxy. but of course, this is not what the story is concerned with at all and I'm ok with that.)

it's crucial to point out that, even despite this being the phase of his yang in the display of taking action and enacting firmness, lxy had still done sigu sect with the sole purpose and manner of upkeeping peace and order (in the way of the pro-universal love, anti-aggression mohist 侠 xia leader of the people). he's still very characterised by yin in my books, especially when vis-à-vis to sgd.

a li xiangyi full of himself and made himself too useful to the people was only bound for a great asteroidal fall, in the concept of 物极必反 - or in taoist lexicon 反者道之动 (ie. anything that has reached its limit will only start developing in the opposite direction). if you think you're above all, you can only go down.

this manifests during the next time he took action - and it was one so forceful that it overpowered even his opponent, dfs who ended up being the passive, receiving party in this case - was in initiating the battle at donghai 10 years ago... and gee oh boy. it didn't end well - for both of them, but even more so for lxy. (dfs was like 'tis but a scratch (shrugs)' as compared to him being ripped off his tendons by jiao liqiao like nezha did to the dragon prince. truth is he had to go into a 10-year healing retreat served by his entourage. :p) ok, I digress.

xiao zijin was quick to attribute sigu sect's fall to lxy's arrogance - in turn setting the stage for lxy's 10 years of self-hatred and the framing of lxy as a villain? irresponsible figure? by jianghu. (god forbid girls do anything! ok for legal reasons, this a joke.) lxy lost his mind in ways I believe he never had in his life there and then upon seeing his shixiong dead. so, you could say he led the jianghu world to ruins out of love (using this term loosely). but it feels inaccurate to say it's due to arrogance. he did not do that out of self-importance or ego, especially when the revenge for sgd was a collective decision made by sigu sect as we know from the flashback. so when llh pinned all fault on himself for being arrogant in the past, it is with caution to take his words because that's the unreliable narrator in him speaking.

anyway, it's precisely li xiangyi that is capable of bouncing back from such a fatal crisis, equipped with his yin and a mastery that gave him the power of flexibility.

it's extremely vital to re-establish that literally the only thing that was keeping li xiangyi alive, physically, as li lianhua is yangzhouman. (monk wuliao literally said that to lxy even though he did facilitate in saving him.) it's the yangzhouman that was drawn from lxy's mastery of yin. without yangzhouman, li xiangyi would not even have the chance to become li lianhua and undergo any needed process of transformation. without li xiangyi, there would have been no yangzhouman. no li xiangyi, no li lianhua, get it?

the point is not to deny the change li xiangyi wants to make and has made. but to acknowledge that change isn't about complete erasure and destruction. something from you survives. something in you had kept you alive to have you come so far, regardless of all the bad bits that you want to denounce of. you've always been worth it.

bringing back the thing about his new name: the distinction must be made that he did not pick it because it was feminine but it just so happened a feminine name had resonated with him. (read: he didn't necessarily identify as a woman but identified with femininity. at least within the parameters of canon text.)

he also made an interesting choice to retain his surname for someone who was desperate to sever ties from his past. hmm. or maybe he wasn't that desperate? when li lianhua says li xiangyi is dead, I believe it meant that li xiangyi the sigumen menzhu is dead rather than li xiangyi as an entirety. li lianhua is a returning to the path lxy could have gone if he did not establish sigu sect, the path that shifu wanted him to take. when he walked to the doors of sigu sect in the aftermath, nothing was actually stopping him from going back (people were still around and alive, instead of all dead people, you know)... except for himself. taking that action would have been too much for him. so he went with the flow of life giving him a chance at rebirth and walked away. there, inaction as a form of action.

zhan yunfei and qiao wanmian have said to li lianhua, oh that doesn't sound like li xiangyi at all. but has it been considered that, maybe it was sigu sect's lxy who wasn't the real lxy? sigu sect lxy was one big performance of the values of masculinity and heteronormativity that llh had came to an awareness of, and eventually struggle with again and resist against in the final year of his life. there had only been some glimpses of his true nature allowed (validated by fang duobing talking about lxy at his altar).

imho, most flashbacks of lxy during that period felt impersonal and more like a template of a hero expected to marry his girl at 18. going through all the motions and steps of a normative life even before he was old enough to grasp and explore his own identity and what it meant in the world. no wonder he denounced so much of what he had done as lxy including liking girls. walking away then also meant a walk away from those duties and expectations. li lianhua is li xiangyi liberated from masculine duties and heteronormative performance.

in doing that, he had the opportunity for the first time in his life to explore what he truly wanted, at least within the parameters of what he could afford to do at that point. he could go on to build a domestic, feminine life within the space of jianghu (as I've established here). it's a kind of feminine lifestyle that doesn't quite exist in mainstream society - being a woman there meant to stay put in a domestic space without much room to move socially. nor did it exist in wulin jianghu because even the women there like shi-guniang and jlq were expected to be masculine, aggressive, competitive. so building a mobile home in the space of jianghu is his way of defining the life he wants and can have. li lianhua is the extension of femininity in li xiangyi - and one that can be free.

it's also worth talking about in my opinion what is one of the most important and a favourite dihua moment: when dfs said to lxy that his greatest weakness was to like being a hero. and a swordsman should be without weaknesses. I'm forever wrapped up in how many layers this can be read in. was he mad at lxy for liking to be a hero or having weaknesses, or both? if the former, it was dfs criticising, based on lxy's public reputation, lxy's oversized illusions about being a hero - a figure of masculinity with an unrealistic sense to uphold noble goals eg. saving the world etc. that is actually perfectly logical coming from dfs, the straightforward, no-nonsense, morally neutral guy with no illusions about heroism (in this case, he feels more like a yin). but at the same time, we should understand that lxy's motivations behind the donghai battle are more personal than noble. if any, it was actually the opposite of noble - it was like he was acting out of the role of a caretaker of his family, and at a cost of the peace and order of jianghu he was set on guarding(!!) dfs also knew that lxy was there just for his shixiong. and so, dfs, who happens to be the epitome of yang, can be read as a symbol of masculinity disapproving of lxy for being sentimental and emotional; for having the "feminine" desires to simply want to defend his family (not saying those are exclusively feminine traits but they have been conventionally associated as feminine). I think both layers of reading are correct and should work together to contribute to the complexity of their characters. (we can see how it contributes to lxy and dfs being the perfect yinyang halves to each other, which I will come back to briefly touch on later.)

for 10 years he lived a life of seclusion and staying-in-his-own-lane a taoist would be proud of. he knew he was dying and has always been ok with dying, as he claimed. but did he want to die? to think of it, it was the opposite. because in those 10 years when he could have 100% just taken action to take his own life, he didn't. in fact, he lived on and took care of himself in the way shifu wanted him to. he had simply preferred letting nature run its course. if bicha didn't take him, he wasn't gonna do anything. but if he died one day very soon, he would be ok with it too. sure, he was maybe banking on a lead to sgd's whereabouts to appear during his last years alive but that clearly wasn't the only thing on his mind for NINE years because he didn't actively go out seeking for that either. this is basically him telling dfs that he would just lie in the sun and wait for the sweet release of death, if dfs were to force him to fight. not even the mortal threat from dfs was enough to move him into action of fighting back or killing himself.

time and again, lxy as llh was dragged into fdb's cases but not only that, he also maintained an impersonal distance with them. it's starkly different from the usual (wuxia) hero archetypes (for eg. fdb) who would be more impassioned and personally invested in the plight of the victims- or unlike most seemingly aloof protagonists who would somehow grow emotionally invested over time. one of the many things I love about llh is that he never tries a second time to persuade people out of their decisions he finds unwise (eg. him just wanting to move on in response to the girls in 女宅 insisting on staying behind with their slave master at first.) he will not interfere in other people's choices made in their own lives. it's not his business. he didn't even want to be there, to be honest.

however as the story progresses, more and more people - especially men, his past, and the leads to the truth came back to demand and taunt him into doing something. they vary from well-meaning people without any harm intended such as fdb intruding upon his private space completely uninvited and qwm wanting him back; to dfs merely seeking him as a mean to an end initially (eg. I only need him to live long enough to have one last fight); and finally, on the other end of the spectrum, outright aggressive and hostile people like sgd and xzj who wanted him to die. under all this pressure, he tried his best to deflect, but he does waver especially when it comes to matters concerning the people he cares about aka his obsession wish of 10 years of looking for sgd's remains that had lied low until fdb entered his life, and then later on taking revenge for his shifu.

looking for sgd became his final bid at taking action. he was operating on a slim chance of getting some emotional closure from finding out his shixiong is dead for real, yes. what a good plan. but objectively unnecessary. or surprise! uhhh...finding out his beloved shixiong is actually alive and would strangle him for one corn chip? AND OH NO IT GOT WORSE- uncovering a devastating truth about his shifu's death that he could have totally gone on with life fine without knowing if he had continued not caring.

but it is sometimes just impossible not to care - it is only human to care. and he is human, not an icon in the image of a hero. so he took a chance, once more, and it killed him in unprecedented ways. it's donghai all over again. things in life don't go as planned. you fuck around and it fucks you back. finding out the truth behind his shifu's death and his family background from the past did nothing for him as li lianhua living in the present.

it's no wonder that this lxy decisively relinquishes the desire to take action in the end. he goes back to letting nature run its course. and this time, stands firmly to it despite everyone begging him otherwise. wangchuan flower could only give him a recovery (or survival?) rate of 30%. there's a 70% chance of failure and even in the 30% he was not sure what he was to become. in comparison, dfs took a 10% chance game of survival in a heartbeat, and it pushed him to new heights. that's how they differ: he thrives by taking risks and action while lxy the other way round. so, something like that has happened before and he wants none of it again.

he leaves lotus tower, only taking his horse and a sack - relinquishing almost every other material belonging he had - and sets off on a journey. before xzj interrupted...where to was he going?? I wonder. we don't know for sure, I think? and are we allowed to know? that makes the scene he had with xzj an understated inflection point in the very last part of his journey. yes, he was already on his way to...maybe die? but not necessarily. you don't have to travel distances with your belongings for that, right? or speak to dfs personally about not wanting to fight? (borrowing one of @ananeiah's takes.) regardless, he was definitely leaving behind jianghu - not only wulin jianghu (he already did that 10 years ago), but also the jianghu space he had carved out in the last 10 years.

what sparked the decision to jump off the cliff in him was dfs's words from the night of their wedding 10th donghai anniversary: 横扫天下容易，断相夷太剑不易 conquering the world is easy, breaking xiangyi sword is not. in the original context, dfs was talking about defeating lxy being harder than conquering the world. but when it came to this scene, it was to lxy about forsaking the very last worldly possessions he had after already giving up on lotus tower and hulijing (including releasing his horse), especially his only connection left to swordsman lxy.

perhaps it had dawned on him that, wanting things at all was bad for him. in the last 10 years, he lived a life of seclusion, wanting very little. but he had still wanted things. there were still things he couldn't let go of that had led him to this state. despite having lived on an identity inspired by a buddhist teaching for 10 years, maybe it was only at this point that he was finally the closest to reaching an understanding of it. (I wish I was knowledgeable enough right now to dive into the possible buddhist reading here but alas. I'll leave it to our resident expert @markiafc)

it doesn't quite matter in the end where he was going after all. what mattered was that he literally went where the water took him and we're not supposed to know where it ends. I'm not seeing this in a bad and pessimistic way though. I think the relief in all this is that he had tried his best to within his abilities. also it's a form of enlightenment in relinquishing a desire, an obsession, a need to take any more action in order to live well. thus his ending felt to me relatively tender, empowering, and kind - albeit bittersweet and heartaching - than other possible kinds of ending, in a story where it was very possible for him to have died under the knives of his opponents or bicha at any moment, outside of his control.

if you've come so far in this post, congratulations! but also a reveal is that... you're not immune to the dihua propaganda threaded throughout this post. :P

as mentioned, other men like sgd and xzj in lxy's life were incredibly hostile to him. their yang nature overwhelmingly powers his yin. but dfs is different. dfs is the yang counterpart that fits perfectly to his yin.

dfs's yang is one that contains yin, that mirrors lxy's balance of yang in yin. it was suggested in text they are yinyang-coded meant to complement each other, given that whenever wangchuan flower's yin vs yang properties were discussed, the two men were always spoken about in the same breath. more importantly, as with the above few analyses of dfs's words playing a big role in shaping of lxy's choices with multiple meanings - as well as their day-to-day interactions - we can see that they constantly play off each other.

dfs's yang energy has been used to help lxy prolong his life (though not saving him entirely), while lxy has used his yin energy to save dfs and subsequently helped him attain his breakthrough. dfs has also helped lxy in his breakthrough of yin but not in the same way as dfs's cultivation of his combative powers, and rather, it's for lxy an understanding of his own path to take in life - a cultivation of the mind (both times 10 years before and after). given how significant dfs is in the shaping of lxy's realisation of the yin path - alike his shifu has, it's no wonder that they were the only two people lxy had imagined in his last sword dance of a farewell to jianghu.

with each of them coming together to form the perfect yin-yang model, they're a harmony of yin and yang representing the cosmos. what I also love is that they didn't start out as a perfect fit, but only towards the end of the story was the harmonisation completed, which makes sense for two components that are always in a flux influencing each other. the fact that they were number 1 and 2 of wulin, and being the only ones capable of understanding each other in a level nobody else could... it all reinforces the cosmic sense of their relationship. they're the halves to a whole, fitting in a specific way nobody else can.

(I mean. technically this is going into the space of extrapolation based on a tangential interpretation of canon text, so do take it with a pinch of salt. but of course this pinch of salt can do wonders for a shipper's feast... :P and this certainly could have been a meta of its own expanding on dfs's side of the analysis, but this is it for now in this context.)

to think of it, li xiangyi has actually died more than that one time that turned him into li lianhua. first was a death of him as a nanyin royalty - I resent having to bring up nanyin like it should hold any weight to the narrative as far as I'm concerned, but the point being that he had a completely different (familial-based) life before that still stands. then he had a rebirth as li xiangyi, disciple and swordsman to his shifu and shiniang, and later died again when li xiangyi the sigu sect leader took over. lxy the sigu sect leader died at sea in the battle 10 years ago and came back as li lianhua. (just like nezha, died after battling at east sea and rebirthed from the lotus) li lianhua then dies by the end of the drama.

there can be a myriad of interpretations as to what exactly happened to him, including the possibility that he's still alive. regardless, we can agree that li lianhua as an identity has ran its course, and he had to evolve again. but into what form?

in the line of thought of yin and femininity, and how his transformation has been in an increasing degree of presentation of femininity - even way back when I was watching the show, I had the idea of him living socially as a woman post-li lianhua. I don't know what he would be realistically doing or what could be practical for him in such an identity. but conceptually it was sensible and compelling to me before diving deeper into the details. (I have more elaboration to do on this that I won't be talking about here publicly but it is in the same strain of idea as this other comparative meta I wrote.)

I think the next possible identity lxy can assume - alive in the material realm or not - is one that will be beyond a material being. a nameless entity. once you've gone through the phases of life - from not knowing to knowing, and perfecting knowledge, then to the surpassing of knowledge - you surpass all worldly existence, and become one with the cosmos.

I end this off with an excerpt from Tao Te Ching's Chapter 41 (I'm not pretending to have read the whole book ok but I couldn't resist including this):

明道若昧，进道若退，夷道若纇 [...] 道隐无名 The bright path seems dim; Going forward seems like retreat; The easy way seems hard [...] The Tao is hidden and without name. (x)

the character translated into "easy" is the same 夷 yi of li xiangyi's name. somehow this seems to encapsulate the journey of his life: one that seems blessed and smooth-sailing but ending up to be rocky and turbulent. but at the end of the day, after all that he had been through, he will become hidden and without name.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhl #lhlmeta #my posts #a big win for the inaction fandom. lxy would have been patron saint #this inevitably turned into a 'lhl is a taoist and buddhist story if not a very chinese story' meta hbhjbjhbhjjb #the last thing i do before going to sleep is write this meta. the first thing i do after waking up is write this meta.#i feel so insane writing this. it kept growing like a monster. do you think this is a joke it's like my part-time job now #but it's one of the few times in my life i have confidence in my insanity. so.#crazier thing is. this meta is approaching 6k words yet i still think there must be things i haven't covered.#the last section is so nuts idk how i even wrote it guys i think i was possessed #it's also like the most pretentious way to put that he's dead in this world ok hjbjhbhjbhjbjbh #to be clear iirc the drama didn't say LXY'S POWER/ENERGY IS YIN in the same way it literally said dfs's energy is yang #but it's definitely implied by the explanation of the flower's healing properties for both of them. on top of yangzhouman #also fuck. another reason he didn't choose to save himself was so dfs could have the yang flower which he believed was what dfs wanted #thank u frens mark and ana for indulging my brain in the first time i brought the lxy as woman thing up. for it to have come this far #ofc disclaimer is that a lot of this is my own reading. it doesnt have to be agreed by everyone #i would be very happy though if any part of it resonated with anybody #also a good part of the analysis is based on my memory of the show. though i did revisit parts selectively to verify. sooooo. yeah.

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marvelshifter111 · 28 days ago

Text

Incorrect quotes

- In my marvel dr

On a meeting:

Tony: so the next mission is in Vienna

Luna, sleep deprived: ...Vienna?

Tom, rolls eyes and sighs: Bech

Luna: ohhh

On training:

Pietro, trying to piss me off: c'mon, speed up Luna

Luna, alredy pissed off: Kako? Nemam raketu u guzici da letim tako brzo, idiote. (How? I don't have a rocket up my ass to fly that fast, idiot)

On night patrol:

Steve, over the phone: how's night patrol going?

Luna, tired: ja ću se upišat, povaraća mi se, puši mi se cig-.....Is that man stealing that car? (I'm gonna piss myself, I'm gonna throw up, I'm wanna smoke a cig-)

Luna, talking to a dog: Ó, kapsz egy puszit, olyan aranyos vagy (oh, I'm gonna kiss you, you're so cute)

Mattheo: why are you telling that dog about pussies?

Luna: puszi means kiss you idiot

Luna: if you don't understand me then jebiga

Texting:

Luna: boli me kurac (literal translation: my dick hurts, meaning: i don't care)

Antonia, google translated the sentence: Luna you don't have a dick

Luna, at the enemy: mrš u pičku materinu (go back in your mother's pussy)

Thor: what does that mean?

Yelena, knowing what it means: it means "i love you"

Making paprikash with Wanda:

Luna: if you can't stand my paprika get out of my kitchen

On a meeting:

Steve: the guy we're looking for is in Budapest-

Natasha: Budapesht

Bruce: no, it's Budapest

Luna: It's Budapesht

Antonia: it's Budapest in English

Natasha, Yelena and Luna trying to pronounce Budapest

Clint, already knows this will take forever: okay, okay, it's Budapesht

Luna: thank you!

Clint, tired: let's just finish this meeting

Dunno, I'm bored

I wrote it in latinic because if i write it in Cyrillic everyone will think I'm Russian

#shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting community #reality shift #shifting #shifting realities

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sca-rian · 2 years ago

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Trafficblr 2022 AO3 Wrapped

Dive deep into the tags and ships you loved the most this year, brought to you by Tumblr user @sca-rian! (inspired by this bird app thread)

Data collected from both the Hermitcraft SMP and 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series* tags.

(*Note: this data does not take into account that some works contain both tags and therefore would be counted twice when looking at each tag individually)

First, let's look at the ratings! In total, the tags combined had 3.709 Teen And Up, 3.362 General, 1.293 Not Rated, 756 Explicit and 694 Mature fics.

In 2022, you loved and made many blorbos suffer! Some, however, were the ones you wrote about the most. Let's look at who those poor souls were!

Of course, in 2022, you also got attached and wrote about many different duos. Regardless of your preference to writing them as romantic or not, it's clear that two specific block men stole your heart!

This year, you may have written and read many different things, but looking at the most popular tags, it's clear that we have an established pattern—suffering, first and foremost.

Your fanfic taste doesn't fit into a single recommendation list, but we want to try anyway—by clicking here, you'll have access to a Google Forms where you can send your favorite fanfics of the year!

... And that's a wrap! Our very silly, likely inaccurate 2022 retrospective is done. Now, I'd like to use this space to thank every single one of the writers who took their time to write HC/3rd Life/LL/DL fanfic this year; I hope you can feel that your work, passion and creativity is loved and appreciated <3

And, of course, a big thank you as well to all the readers out there! 2022 was the year I got back into writing, and that wouldn't have been possible without the support of such amazing people

(tired of typing with proper capitalization why did i do this. this post was very fun—if not a little annoying—to make, and maybe i will be back in the future? with more silliness? i definitely learned a lot about the silly goofiness of collecting useless data......)

#boli talks #trafficblr #hermitcraft #3rd life #last life #double life #dlsmp #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #graphic design is my passion #guys i suffered so much.#had my phone. cracked editor app and a dream #i TRIED #wrapped #llsmp #also dont ask me how tommyinnit got in there. im not even sure myself hes supposed to be there but i mean.......#scarian

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metamatar · 11 months ago

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I was talking about this yday but Sanskrit revivalists in India quite openly admire the revival of Hebrew in Israel, viewing Hindustani and all khari boli languages as being infected by Persian and other undesirable Muslim languages that must be replaced by a Brahmanised Sanskrit.

One country, One race, One religion, One Language, in the Savarkar formulation.

This article is by someone uncritical of Sanskrit revival in general.

This is Sri Aurobindo Society's journal, one of the many movements that disseminate Hindu nationalist culture.

#hindutva zionism alliances

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bolithesenate · 3 months ago

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I have. So many questions about your version of Tarre but I will try to keep it short

How did the Mando's react when they found out that he was a Jedi?

How did his first Jedi Master die?

Did Tarre manage to finish the tapestry (the one he was trying to finish before the meeting) before the due date or?

Did Tarre one day look up and ask his close circle of Mandos if he was the Mando'alor and said circle had to awkwardly tell him he had been the Mando'alor for a while and they were technically his advisors?

HOW was your Tarre adopted by the Jedi - assuming he has always been a Mando even if he did practice much of the culture? Did he accidentally run away as a toddler and end up in a cargo ship across the galaxy in enemy zone? Did he accidentally set fire at 3 separate houses in the Vizsla Clan and they decided to set him against the Jedi (and did it work even if only for a temple)? Tell me pleaseeee

Also sorry if this is stupid I assume that Tarre has always been a Mando or is he a convert (and if so was it via the god haunting him or was it after he went on the self-imposed exile while everyone thought he was dead)? I'm asking this to make sure I understood everything correctly

okay okay okay. well, let me preface this with saying that I am 1) INCREDIBLY stoked to see someone as invested in cringefail jedi Tarre as I am and 2) I have an incredibly detailed account of Tarre's life in my mind (that I might one day write down in fic form) so you don't know the beast you just unleashed

how did the Mandos react when they found out he was a Jedi?

well, it depends a bit on which Mando. the guy that for a while was his Alor and then became his second in command figured it out on his own after Tarre was a bit too weird about certain things for a bit too long. He mainly was put out that Tarre never trusted him enough to tell him (even tho Tarre himself probably assumed he'd just left the jedi order at that point). Also, it explained just a lot of the general weirdness of the guy, so if anything it cleared things up.

The rest of their inner circle figured it out some time afterward when Fay just appeared in the middle of their dining room, calling him out on his bullshit. I think they were too mortified to see her immediately do a 180° and start a custody war with a literal force-deity to react, really. And again, Tarre being a Jedi explained more questions than it raised (at that point he'd had probably a literal decade of raking up a history of being That Weird Guy TM)

And the rest of Mandalore's populace... I genuinely think many of them might never have known? At least not during their or Tarre's lifetime?

There might have been rumors, sure, but again, Tarre had already collected a lot of weird ass rumors about him by that time, so it kinda was just another one of those? At least this version of Tarre never went out and proclaimed he was a Jedi in some grand sort way. He was way too busy for that. Which I think would explain quite nicely how all subsequent generations of Mandalorians seem to put all emphasis on Tarre being Mand'alor and never really seem to mention his ties to the Order.

2. How did his first Master die?

His first Master, a rodian crèchemaster named Yuumba Doksa, died on a mission where they were supposed to investigate a sudden epidemic amongst settlers on a newly colonized planet. It turned out to be a bioengineered virus commissioned by the Sith, and despite the Force, Tarre had to watch his Master die before an effective treatment could be found. He himself also got infected with it, but because his genetic material was such a wild blend of things, his immune system was a lot more resistent to the virus.

3. Did Tarre finish the tapestry before the meeting?

No.

In retaliation, he just took his loom to all subsequent ones. That was the first in a long list of Weird Things He Just Does I Guess.

4. Did they have to tell him that?

Of course they did.

Actually, and this is getting down into the nitty gritty of my personal headcanons and worldbuilding around Tarre Vizsla, "Tarre Vizsla" started off as two people: Tarre on one side and Marek Vizsla (his alor-turned-second-in-command) on the other. Through a bit of a miscommunication at some point, the spokesperson persona the both were operating under got the name Tarre Vizsla, even though Tarre at that point wasn't a member of aliit Vizsla. House Vizsla yes, but not the Clan. That came later.

So for way too long Tarre just assumed that all these things they were doing, he was doing under a shared name, sure, but they still were two people and Marek was the higher ranking one of them, so naturally he was the one the Mand'alor title actually belonged to.

Until they all had to tell him that 'no, you idiot, you are the one doing all the work here, it's your position. Marek is just here to yell at people and, if necessary, shoot them.'

5. & 6. I'll have to answer together because they share a lot of commonalities

I'm firmly in camp 'Tarre was a convert' (in the end) (kinda).

It's quite possible that one of his parents was a Mando, simply because of the smoothie blend that his genetic are, but they were not around to make decisions when he first exhibited Force powers. So he went through a normal(ish) jedi childhood (minus the truly being bad at jedi-ing) until he went to ilum and came back with an old god as his saber.

But since this was the old republic and things generally were a lot stranger back then, no one - Tarre included (plus, he still was a child back then u know) - really questioned it. Tarre just was one of those Jedi with a weird colored lightsaber. Happens from time to time, right?

(as for why Kad Ha'rangir chose Tarre... who knows what the gods think, right? especially a god that literally is change. The Force works in mysterious ways)

Him properly becoming a Mandalorian was.... well, who can say when exactly it happened. Maybe he was one from birth, just 'temporarily misplaced' due to external circumstances, maybe he became one when a mandalorian god called dibs on him, maybe it happened when an old weaver lady whose backyard he crashed his shuttle in also called dibs of her own, or it's possible it happened when he got his first set of beskar'gam, or when he officially became mand'alor, or when he properly got adopted into Clan Vizsla or perhaps even at some other, small junction of his truly strange life.

Or maybe it never really happened at all? Who knows. I don't think anyone ever made him swear to the resol'nare (if that even existed in that form back then), they just looked at him and said 'yes, this is what peak mandalorian-ness looks like' o(￣▽￣)👍

(half of them were looking at Marek when they said that. that's why the statues look nothing like Tarre)

And I think if you had asked Tarre at the end of his life what he was, he genuinely might have answered with "a Jedi"? Because that's still the thing he grew up with and he only (temporarily) fled from it due to of his own anxieties. Like. All the work he did on Mandalore was because of the things he learned as a Jedi - to help where he can and strive to make a better galaxy for the people around him.

It just so happened that the people around him technically were the Order's mortal enemies.

#uhm. so. yeah #i said this was a beast #sorry not sorry #tarre is a bit of a blorbo of mine and one i rarely get to talk about #but i hope this answered your questions!#if not. well. my asks are always open XD #but yeah #cringefail jedi tarre my beloved #i will acknowledge that half of this is me bending over backwards to kinda unify the little bits of canon we have with my own headcanons #but also. tarre vizsla is so free real estate that i am not at all sorry about it #and ive seen so many fanon depictions of him predominantly being mando #that i. as a known jedi lover. simply HAD to make him predominantly jedi #even if he is bad at it #and i also think making him distinctly nonviolent reluctant ruler just puts much more of an interesting spin on the canon timeline Vizslas #and their rhetoric of why they have some sort of hereditary right to rule #because then it literally is all lies #they took his legacy and used it for their own gains #random boli thoughts #star wars #me writing #answering asks #tarre vizsla #star wars headcanons #long post

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psychicvoidtale · 8 months ago

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BLOB OPERA!!!!!

(They are all something like orphans, they are fish and they spent most of their lives in a fish tank, they are mutants, I love them)

Bancy has always been interested in music, in he free time she is practicing how to improve her voice and be better every day! He likes to watch records related to music and podcasts, he is very shy with people, he is currently dating a computer girl

Baldo is not really that excited about the opera itself, the'y does it because the'y does not spend as much time with his brothers as the'y would like, the'm works too much, although the'y is very grumpy the'm has his good moments and loves his brothers unconditionally.

Since Bob joined the world of opera, he was nervous at first but then he got used to it. He always tries to be as friendly as possible and it doesn't bother him. He gets along very well with the other people in charge of the show. He likes to take photographs.

Barry always wanted to be appreciated by people, in fact, at first he liked the idea of being an actor, he could never do it well, Bob encouraged him to take him into this world of music, he is always happy to talk to his fans or part of the rest of the show

Boly has always been somewhat envious, he really likes to show off that he is very popular, this is his defense mechanism, he is afraid of being ridiculed, sometimes in his free time he likes to do crafts, apart from that he is the one who focuses the most on his work secondary

Bambi was very energetic, he once suffered an accident and almost died, thanks to several surgeries, he managed to survive, he is a bit dumb, since his brain underwent a couple of changes, but he is still excellent at singing, most of the time he is taken care of by one of his friends

Bam is the tallest of all, he is quite cold with people and his fans, he doesn't care what they say about him, he is the most responsible of all, he is the only one with a driver's license, he knows how to know very well, he has a car and he has a doctorate, he is quite affectionate with his brothers even though he is very cold

At the beginning, Babi was extremely important to everyone, that was quite stressful for him, and that affects him now, every time he suffers a lot of pressure he feels like crying, he has a second job in cartoons, he likes his jobs, his safe place is his bed and his brothers

Blob is just joining the opera, he feels very bad about his face, he had several accidents before mutating, all his brothers support him too much, his second job is taking care of pets

Bap Is new!

Thank you for reading

sammy, my characters (mark, daisy, doldy and joey) and any other characters will not be available for questions until further notice, they are the main ones now

#blob opera #my characters #This is a mini project #just open comics from them #bancy #baldo #bob #barry #boly #bambi #Bam #babi #blob #fish #yay #raibow #bap

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dreaminofu · 6 months ago

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How do you think our boys are counting down the days until Ruisrock?

Do they have a specially calendar or a completely different approach? (Bonus points if you add JO boys and/or Kä crew)

Apparently, I’m unable to give a short answer to anything…

Jere isn’t one for calendars or anything concrete like that. Every morning he’s like ”only 11 gigs until Bojan❤️” or ”only 30 sleeps until Bojan❤️” and keeps counting down the days in his head like that. (But he gets really frustrated at least once when he gets the days wrong. Wdym it’s still 13 days to go and not 10??)

Bojan has one of those countdown apps on his phone. But the countdown (on his lockscreen) doesn’t say Ruisrock, oh no no no, it simply says ”Jerč ❤️” and has a picture of the two of them. One where Jere is licking him in Tavastia as Bojan keeps manifesting some more licking and groping action for when they’re going to perform their new collab. This is trululu until proven delulu

All the JO boys seem to really like Finland, so they’re all really looking forward to Ruisrock, but it’s Nace and Kris who keep gushing about it to each other. They talk about going to the sauna and experiencing the Finnish summer, but that’s just a front, because what they’re really looking forward to is their reunion with Jere. They’re among his biggest fans after all, but just more subtle about it compared to Bojan. Also, Jan is mostly just counting down the days until he gets his next fix of ananaslonkero…

But the truth is that neither the other JO boys nor the JO and Kä crews need to count down the days. They know that the closer they get to Ruisrock, the more hyper and insufferable Jere and Bojan will become. They have no need to look at the calendar, they don’t even bother to look at it, because they’ve experienced this before.

As the day approaches, no matter what his crew says, Jere starts blurting out more random shit to them. Like when someone says they need to use the bathroom, Jere just goes ”we go to toilet with Bojan” or when someone says they’re knackered, Jere comments ”I put in bed for Bojan and wrap him in formulalakanat”. He does all this in English, of course, as he’s already in his Bojan-mode <3

Bojan, in turn, is often heard singing ”Vse kar vem in kar znam, je, da ne boli, ko me tvoj objem zakriva” under his breath with a stupid grin on his face <3

Their crews know that the day has arrived once Jere and Bojan have reached a certain level of giggles and heart-eyes and when they won’t shut up about each other. A month before Ruisrock, both Jere and Bojan mention each other to their crews a few times a day. Around the fifteen day mark, it already happens every hour and on they big day, it’s non-stop babbling until they’re in each other’s arms again <3

#thank you for the ask <3 #bojere #asks

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charmwasjess · 8 months ago

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ill gladly help you procrastinate u know that

23 & 17 👀

Boli, you are simply magnificent. I've spent upwards of thirty minutes not working while I was writing this up. 17. there should be more of this type of fic/art This isn't a problem so much as a good sign of the thriving fandom economy where people are writing big, rich, interesting stories - AUs, fix-it, time travels, what ifs - and I read those fics avidly. But I've been really craving the old "slice of life" one shot recently. Let me hang out with your dudes (gn) just doing their thing for a couple thousand words. Small moments, ordinary daily things. I love it. Same for art. Little domestic snapshots just get me. This is also a chance to say something I like about your writing specifically, Boli, because you incorporate a lot of this kind of scene into Mud fic while balancing the bigger plot elements. Thinking of that great bar scene. <3 23. ship I've come around to Syku is probably the big obvious one here since I spent so long (decade) waffling on writing Dooku in any kind of romantic thing. Then, reason slipped from my nerveless fingers and shattered. I dissolved About Them. But you poor people watched that happen to me in real time so I won't go on and on about it. No description can match the experience of watching me daily embarrass myself on here over them.

You know what one I weirdly have come to love? Obimaul. At first I was like "oh sw fandom, you'll ship anything lolol" and then I watched the Maul Clone Wars episodes and I was like... okay... okay... yeah, so, I get you want to specifically murder him and everything, but the way you're keening "Kenobi" right now...

It's kind of really fucking sad? Like Maul is this person who had been literally broken in half, and that's before you get to the metaphorical damage of being essentially enslaved by Sidious his whole life. I mean Maul's origin story makes Dooku's kid trauma look like a trip to Disney World. This person who fundamentally does not know about love, having been fed a diet of pain and hate all his life, getting into the murderous jealous one-sided sexual obsession with Obi-Wan, which is part inability to distinguish hate from lust, and part a pure desire to be Obi-Wan because he's representative of everything that was taken from Maul. He embodies every chance Maul never got. The (loving) Master. The community of people like him. The family. It's so dark and doomed and fucked up, but also so sad.

But I realize I'm not here to talk about shipping normal things, since my problematic main ship somehow manages to be both a Fridging and a Kill Your Gays trope...

#thank you thank you Boli this was so fun!!!!!#still playing if anyone else wants to keep me from my dayjob #kind of went off about Maul there for a while sorry about that #obimaul

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sparkles-oflight · 11 months ago

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Vse Kar Vem

"Vse kar vem in kar znam, je, da ne boli, ko me tvoj objem zakriva. Kaj je prav me ne bremeni, ker s tabo svet ne izpodriva me."

Synopsis: It's one of the last nights of JO in Slovenia before moving to London and Bojan is in the midst of an anxiety attack with a recently awakened Kris by his side.

(Originally this was going to be in London, but then Maks dropped the "oh yeah, they are living together" confirmation bomb)

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Sensible topics: Homophobia

- You aren’t asleep. – Kris reached for Bojan’s hand which was on his heart.

- Uh? – Bojan looked at the guy next to him who was opening his eyes slowly – Oh sorry...Did I wake you up? I’ll be quiet.

- That’s not necessary. – He yawned, which Bojan found adorable – I’ve been awake for a while. I saw you scrolling...

- Sorry, I was trying to get distracted.

- You should really try to sleep though.

- I will, don’t worry.

Kris tried to close his eyes again... but his hand made him realize Bojan’s heartrate was skyrocketing.

- Wanna talk about it? – he finally opened his eyes.

- No, no, go back to sleep.

- Do you want me to turn on the lights? – he rubbed his eyes.

- No, no...

- What do you need?

- I just...

Bojan stopped for a moment to hear his heartbeat... It wasn’t good. His hands were numb and so was the area around his mouth... He was in pain. He felt like dying.

- Could you please distract me?

Kris looked around.

- Okay, what’s 5 things you can-

- No, I’ve already done all of that. I can spot the light of the phone, the light of the television, your ass, the light of the alarm clock, and the sheets.

- What was that?

- I need something different. – he avoided that conversation – Tell me about your day.

- Bojan, we spent the day together.

- Recap it for me.

- Aaah. – Kris sighed.

He decided to change his position to face the ceiling as Bojan was doing.

- It all started during the morning-

- Kris, you and I both know that you wake up at 13 because you hate mornings.

- I woke up at 13, the perfect time for a... – he tried to find the word. It wasn’t a lunch or breakfast it was a...

- A brunch.

- Exactly. – he smiled – I washed the dishes from last night since your lazy ass couldn’t do it.

- Hey! Don’t call me lazy. – he pointed with his finger – I was busy going for an early morning jog.

- 10 in the mourning is not “early morning”.

- I hate mornings. – that made Kris smile a bit – Besides, I took the trash out!

- Our shores distribution is imbalanced.

Kris looked at Bojan for a while before proceeding.

- I made us a quiche with stuff I found lying around and updated our grocery list.

- It was delicious, though you ate the most part.

- I made it, I eat what I want. – Bojan gripped Kris’ hand that was trying to find his – After a shower, we went to the studio...to revise some stuff before moving to London.

- I took my nap at 17.

- I would know that. I took a picture of you drooling.

- What!? Tell me more about it.

- Tell me more about you watching my ass.

- Fair enough. – he shut up.

- Then we decided to have dinner together, the five of us, in Ljubljana one last time before departure.

- I can’t believe we are moving to London!

- I can’t believe you won’t let me finish a story.

Kris decided to lay sideways, to face Bojan properly who did the same.

- We went out to party, to drink, to smoke... – he looked at Bojan who pushed his hair away from his face – To look at people under the neon lights.

If the lights were on, Bojan would have seen Kris blush. He didn’t need to, though. The light coming from the television was just enough to make out his silhouette in the dark. He could piece together on his own how Kris’ face looked.

- Did anyone catch your attention in particular?

- A brunette.

- Oh, really?

- Beautiful singer, actually.

- Tell me more about it.

- They also have big brown eyes.

- Any cons?

- A bit annoying...

- Ah, that can be hard to handle.

- I don’t think that person is any singer honestly.

- Why is that? – Bojan smiled.

- They are *my* singer.

Bojan couldn’t help but smile from one ear to another.

- Can I snuggle with you? – Bojan asked but he was already scooting closer to Kris.

- You are unbelievable... – Kris enveloped Bojan in his arms – You are cold.

- Yeah, I little bit.

After a while of hugging each other - Bojan smelling Kris’ clothes, Kris petting his hair - the smaller one decided to break the silence.

- Do you think London is going to be this cold?

- Of course, not. It’s colder.

- That’s not what I meant. – Bojan decided to dig his face out of Kris’ sweater – Are the people going to be this cold?

- I don’t think I understand what you are talking about. Are you implying that-

- No, I love my country and its people. That’s not what I mean. – Bojan sighed – You know this? Is this going to be better?

Kris was way too tired to understand fully what he was talking about.

- Be more specific.

- Kris, we are living together, sharing a bed, and hugging each other in the middle of the night.

- And?

- Kris, we are guys.

Then a light bulb hit Kris. Sometimes even he forgets that’s not considered “normal” for countries in the Balkans. Hell, in most countries around the world.

- I forgot.

- You forgot!? – Bojan was wondering what exactly he forgot, and how?

- I don’t know if London is going to be better. Maybe not.

- Kris, you are supposed to say, “It’s going to get better”.

- But why would I lie?

- You are bad at this “reassuring” thing.

- Well.... – he hugged Bojan tighter, back into his sweater – I can’t guarantee that is going to get better. But I can at least guarantee you I’ll be there to hug you.

Bojan really really wanted to see Kris’ face. Sometimes Kris just says stuff so bluntly and he finds it so adorable. He loves teasing Kris over it. He loves to see him being so sincere. He loves when Kris just says...stuff. He loves-

His pain was gone... He hadn’t even realized it.

Because all he knows is that he doesn’t feel pain in Kris’ arms... Because is not worried about what is right, because with him the world is not displacing him.

- Can I get a good night kiss?

- No.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

No, I didn't have this idea last night when I was feeling cold, shut up.

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Official Visualizer

#i've been on a bokris roll lately #tbf they are easy to write #joker out #joker out kris #joker out bojan #kris gustin #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #bokris #polaroid photos universe

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