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violentdelightsandviolentends · 2 years ago

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Wishbone.

You meet Bucky and Steve while on the run. The three of you quickly learn that nothing is more violent than love.

Based on the poem Wishbone by Richard Siken. Lines taken directly from the poem are in bold. If you're interested, you can read the full poem here.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - 18+ - blood, cursing, guns, sexual content. this is a little dark. your media consumption is your own responsibility.

Word Count - 3617

Author's Note - my god I had fun writing this. wishbone is my favourite poem ever, and I reread it a few days ago and had a vision of nomad steve and bucky on the run and just had to turn it into something. if you haven't read the full poem, I'd highly recommend!! this is darker and a bit more jagged than my usual fluff but you know, versatility and all that. I strongly believe that Steve was feral while on the run - he has to crack at some point. I mean you can only be squeaky clean for so long, right? as always, thoughts, questions or requests, send them my way! feedback is massively appreciated always <3

Masterlist. Requests.

You saved my life he says I owe you everything. You don’t, I say, you don’t owe me squat, let’s just get going, let’s just get gone.

You met them on a bridge in the middle of the night somewhere in Europe.

All three of you running from your sins.

Steve and Bucky had bolted the minute they refused to sign the accords. They were under the impression they’d all go together – Team Cap, side by side.

Wanda and Vision left them first. Natasha next. Lastly, Sam.

Steve and Bucky were the only ones remaining. It started with just the two of them. It would end with just the two of them.

Your ankle cracks and splinters as you barrel forwards over the bridge. Gunshots rain down around you, like some sort of lethal meteor shower. You don’t know how they found you. These remainders of the past won’t leave you alone. They’re shooting at you, four of them, these grown men firing their guns at this runaway girl.

The broken bones finally give way, and you slam into the concrete, head bouncing off the surface. The road is warm under you, and you relax into it, ready to surrender to your fate.

A fate which never comes. A strong, metal arm grabs you by the bicep and pulls you up, your ankle sending strokes of pain lashing through your whole body. You’re screaming, and you’re thrashing, and there’s blood pouring into your boots. Your cries for help are ignored as the man throws you over his shoulder and starts running at an inhuman speed.

He keeps sprinting, heavy shoes hitting the ground with every step, the impact rattling up into your bones. Everything is hazy and nothing makes sense and the lights of the city are blinding you as you’re carried by the stranger. You don’t know if he’s saving you or kidnapping you or both or neither.

A blond man appears, running next to the brunette with the metal arm. You’re thrown from one man’s shoulder to the others, as if you weigh nothing. As if you’re worth nothing. Just a girl caught in the crossfire. A victim. If only they knew.

Your shoes are filling with your own damn blood.

You passed out sometime on the journey, the men’s heavy steps lulling you into unconsciousness.

One minute, you’re being thrown around like a ragdoll, and the next you’re waking up on the floor of a dingy motel. You think you might be in Berlin. Or was it Brussels? It didn’t matter anyway. Doesn’t make a difference.

The carpet is sticky and caked in dirt and patterned like it was made in the 70’s. You wake with a jolt, gasping for air. The blond man is nowhere to be seen. The brunette is sat on the edge of the bed, watching you with careful blue eyes.

“Why am I on the floor?" you ask, venom dripping from each word. “You couldn’t throw me down on the fucking bed?”

He scoffs and shakes his head.

“Your boots are filled with blood,” he spits. “Better on the carpet than the sheets.”

He crosses the room and kneels down in front of you. He cautiously unties your left boot and pulls it off. Then he unties the right one, the broken one, and yanks it off with a careless hand. You grit your teeth and hiss, hand flying out to fist into his shirt.

“Asshole,” you mutter. “That fuckin’ hurts.”

“Yeah, no shit,” he replies. “It’s fractured. Smashed to pieces, actually.”

He grabs your boot and walks over to the tiny sink in the corner of the room. Turning it upside down, he watches as your blood pours out.

“Shit, girl,” he mumbles. “How are you still fightin’?”

You think you hear a New York accent. Brooklyn, maybe. It seems to come out in waves, a slight twang every now and again. His raspy drawl vibrates through your stomach, right into your core. He’s handsome. He’s battered and bruised, clothes ripped, hair mussed. But he’s handsome.

“I’m tougher than I look,” you retort.

He chuckles, and it makes you want to rip your clothes off.

He comes back to your place on the floor and yanks you up by your arms. He throws you onto the bed unceremoniously, ignoring your groans and protests. He grabs you by your chin and forces you to look at him.

“Stop fuckin’ wincing,” he snarls. “I’m trying to help you.”

You figure his help is better than nothing. You go pliant, and let him assess you, only whining when he presses his thumbs into a sore spot.

I’m always saving and you’re always owing and I’m tired of asking to settle the debt.

Steve has always loved playing the hero. It’s the role he falls into naturally. Bucky does too. After everything he’s done – been forced to do – it makes him feel good to save people now.

Maybe that’s why they saved you.

They watched you run from those men, four vigilantes out for blood. Bucky and Steve had gone out to kill them, to get them off their backs. As soon as Bucky had seen you fall, he was moving at the speed of light, barrelling across the bridge to scoop you up and out of the crossfire. Steve just watched, shaking his head. Buck had always been a sucker for a pretty girl.

They don’t question why you were out there, fighting men with your bare hands. They don’t wanna know. Frankly, they don’t care.

“What the fuck?” Steve asks when he swings open the door to the motel room. “She’s still here?”

“Her ankle is all messed up,” Bucky replies. “There’s no way she’s walking. We can’t throw her onto the street. The rest of them will come for her.”

Steve’s rolling his eyes as he walks over to where you’re unconscious on the bed. He grabs the front of your shirt and pulls you up level with him. You startle awake, and stare daggers into his pretty face.

“What did they want with you?” he spits.

You glare at him for a solid minute, but he doesn’t crack. He wants answers.

“Pissed them off, I guess,” you snicker. “They tried to hurt me. Hurt them right back but harder. They didn’t like it.”

Bucky’s watching the two of you interact, his head tilted to the side. He’s not quite sure how this is going to play out. He can’t wait to see.

Steve surveys you, eyes scanning your face methodically. God, he’s tired of playing nice.

He grabs your chin firmly, forcing you to open your mouth. He stares into your soul, as if daring you to defy him, before he spits onto your tongue, never once breaking eye contact. You swallow, holding his gaze – goading him into making another move. He slams his lips onto yours, shoving his tongue into your mouth, claiming you as his. You suppose you owe him this, at least. He did save your life, after all.

I say I want you inside me and you hold my head underwater, I say I want you inside me and you split me open with a knife.

This is how it always goes. Your new normal.

The three of you run from city to city, country to country, never staying in one place for too long.

They marked their claim on you that day. All of you without a place to call a home – so you found it in each other. And what a fucked up home it was.

Somewhere along the way, you realise you’ve changed. Not just mentally, or emotionally. But physically. You’re taller, stronger, able to run faster. You’ve gone through some sort of metamorphosis and you don’t know what it is but you like it.

You’re in Colombia, in a motel room, naked from the waist up and sat in Bucky’s lap. You can’t tell where you end and he begins. Just the way you like it.

“I’m different,” you tell him, and he nods his head.

“Why do you think we saved you?” he replies.

He straightens up to sink his teeth into your shoulder, right next to the bite mark left by one of them the day before.

“You are different,” Steve tells you as he walks through the door. “It’s our fault. Sorry, sweetheart,” he says, with no real apology in his voice.

Both you and Bucky turn to look at him. Where did that cut on his cheekbone come from? Blood is dripping down his face, and your mouth waters. You want to lick it off.

You crawl to the end of the bed and rise onto your knees, before grabbing Steve, both hands twisted in the front of his shirt. You run your tongue from his jaw to his temple, savouring the taste of copper. Fuck, he tastes so sweet. They both do. You’d drink it if you could.

Steve moans, and the sound makes your legs weak. He fists a hand into the back of your hair and yanks, exposing your throat to him. Then, with no gentleness whatsoever, he scrapes his teeth along the side of your neck, bruising as he goes. You’re purple and red and tender and sore and your big doe eyes are looking at him like you want him to eat you alive. It takes everything in him not to devour you whole.

Bucky doesn’t possess the same amount of self control.

He yanks you back by your wrists, pinning you underneath him. He crawls along your body, and catches your underwear in his teeth, dragging them down and off. He looks hungry. No, he looks feral. It’s animalistic, this connection the three of you have. It’s sharp and bloody and jagged and raw and it makes you want to cut them open from head to toe so you can live inside them forever.

You hate this life and the fact everything is temporary and you hate that you have nothing. Not really. You’re not even one hundred percent sure that these two men wouldn’t leave you if they got offered something better.

But for now, you let them get lost in you. In each other. It’s all you can do to stay sane, in this life spent running and hiding.

Will you let me kiss your neck, baby? Do I have to tie your arms down? Do I have to stick my tongue in your mouth like the hand of a thief, like a burglary like it’s just another petty theft?

You’re in another motel room. This time, Argentina.

The three of you are sat on the bed. The wound in your side is gushing, and Steve has his hand practically in your rib cage, trying to quell the opening.

“Fuck, baby,” he murmurs. “It’s alright, it’ll stop soon. The advanced healing will kick in any minute now.”

Advanced healing.

It’s something you’d known for a while. Something you’d never brought up with them, just in case. But here he was, telling you like it was nothing.

“I’m a super soldier, aren’t I?” you gasp out between raspy breaths. You’re not actually in that much pain, you’re just panicking. No one should be able to lose this much blood and heal like nothing ever happened.

Bucky nods his head from where he’s sat behind you, chest pressed to your back. His strong arms are keeping you still while Steve plays doctor.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear.

“It was probably Brazil that did it,” Steve chimes in.

Brazil.

Bucky had been shot and you’d been stabbed and Steve was bleeding for some reason too.

You’d crawled to Buck, throwing yourself on top of his body. Your wounds were both open and your blood was mixing together and you couldn’t tell whose flesh was whose.

You’d stuck your tongue in his mouth and he drank you down, blood and dirt and sweat be damned. Steve yanked you both up and threw an arm under each of you, practically dragging you to safety. You were painted in crimson and dripping with the evidence of your love.

Yes. It was definitely Brazil that did it.

“I didn’t even know that was possible,” you utter in disbelief.

“Honestly, neither did we,” Steve replies.

“But now you’re one of us,” Bucky murmurs. “The three of us. The same.”

He’s kissing your shoulder and you’re squirming because you can feel your skin healing, patching itself back together slowly.

“Let him kiss you, baby,” Steve urges. “Do I have to tie your arms down?”

“Yes,” you beg. “Please. Do it. Please.”

Bucky twists your arms behind you and locks them into place with his metal hand. You can’t go anywhere. You don’t want to.

Did he find that one last tender place to sink his teeth in?

One day, somewhere in Alaska, Steve finds you crying in the bathroom.

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror, and you don’t recognise what you see. You have scars scattered across your face, your hair is darker than it’s ever been, and it’s shorter from where Bucky took the scissors to it. Who are you? What have you become?

“Now isn’t the time to have an identity crisis, darling,” Steve says when he enters the room in his boxers.

You nod, and smile, and sniffle, taking a deep breath.

Steve walks over to you, placing you effortlessly to sit on the counter. He stands between your legs and cradles your face in his gun calloused hands.

“Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he reassures into your mouth.

Leaning forward, he runs his tongue up your cheek, catching the tears as they fall. He grabs your chin with one hand, and tugs your pants off with the other.

“You’re so fucking pretty when you cry.”

It feels like love when he sinks his teeth into your neck so hard, he draws blood.

and with this bullet lodged in my chest, covered with your name, I will turn myself into a gun, because it’s all I have, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own.

You crack on a random Tuesday afternoon in Bulgaria.

You’ve been shot at one too many times. It’s not something anyone should ever have to endure. The bullets have carved you out and left you hollow. There’s only so much blood you can lose.

The three of you are sat with your backs against the door of the dingy motel room. Just minutes prior, there had been men banging on the wood, demanding to know where Captain America was hiding.

You hadn’t heard that title in a while.

America’s Golden Boy. If only they knew.

If only they knew how he craved the taste of blood now.

If only they knew how he’d lick the sweat from your neck and keep on going.

If only they knew how the fear turned him on.

Being on the run had taken Steve’s golden blood and turned it black. He didn’t mind. Neither did Bucky. Neither did you.

This was out of your wheelhouse, though. Bucky had gone through wars, been on the run more times than he could count. Steve, too. You, however, were different.

You weren’t 100 years old. You’d been a super soldier for a matter of months. You’d gotten into trouble, pissed off the wrong guys, and it had spiralled out of control. Now, you’re hiding from six armed men with Captain America on your left and The Winter Soldier on your right. How times change.

It all explodes suddenly, and you can’t contain it anymore. You jump up, gun in hand, tears sprinting down your cheeks. You’re pointing the weapon at them, and you’re not sure why. But you’re angry. And upset. And so in love with the both of them it’s driving you crazy.

“Tell me you’re not going to leave me,” you threaten, pressing the barrel of the gun against Steve’s chest.

“Sweetheart-“ he starts, but you cut him off.

“No. Tell me you’re mine. Promise me you’re not going to leave me.”

You’ve still got the gun pointed at Steve, but now you’re grabbing Bucky by his hair, forcing him to look up at you.

“Both of you. Promise me.”

They aren’t looking at you like you’re crazy, or unhinged. They’re looking at you like they’re proud of you. Like they want you. Like they love you.

Steve kicks you hard in the shin, making your legs give way. You’re flat on your back now, and Bucky’s moved to pin your arms above your head. His full weight is pressing into you, and his blond counterpart has crawled to yank your head into his lap.

“We’re yours, baby,” Bucky murmurs against your lips.

“We’re not leaving,” Steve adds from where his forehead is pressed against yours.

“And you look really fucking hot pointing a gun at Steve,” Bucky smirks as he kisses along your neck, sucking a bruise as he goes.

“Asshole,” Steve retorts, but he’s smiling. Not that golden, Captain America smile that everyone’s used to. No, this is different. This is a dark, jagged smile, that’s equal parts cunning and broken. It makes you shiver. But you’re not scared. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’ll be your slaughterhouse, your killing floor, your morgue and final resting, walking around with this bullet inside me ‘cause I couldn’t make you love me and I’m tired of pulling your teeth.

Somewhere in Croatia, you watch Steve and Bucky almost die.

Bullets are raining down, and you’re surrounded on all sides. You can’t see past the swarms of armed men, and you’re bleeding but you’re not sure where from. Steve and Bucky are trying their best, but they’re losing. You’re all losing.

You don’t know where it comes from, the rage. One minute, you’re down on your knees, breathless and sweating. Next minute, you’ve elbowed a man in the face and stolen his machine gun. You’re gunning down men left and right, ignoring their pleas for mercy. The ceiling is raining blood and you’re dripping crimson. You’ve never looked more beautiful.

By the time you get to Bucky and Steve, the abandoned garage looks like a slaughterhouse. You’re stepping over bodies like you’re in a cemetery, your eyes glued to the two people you did all of this for. They’re looking at you like they’re scared of you. Finally, you think. They see me.

If you love me, Henry, you don’t love me in a way I understand. Do you know how it ends? Do you feel lucky? Do you want to go home now? There’s a bottle of whiskey in the trunk of the Chevy and a dead man at our feet staring up at us like we’re something interesting.

The three of you hijack a cabin in rural Canada.

You’ve been walking through the forests for days when you come upon a small wooden lodge with smoke pummelling out of the chimney. Respite.

Bucky shoots the man point blank when he answers the door. You leave him dead on the porch and make your way inside. It’s cosy, all flannel patterns and fur rugs. You could get comfortable here.

You shower while Steve cooks you dinner. Buck finds decent whiskey in a cabinet, and the three of you take turns drinking it straight from the bottle. You all sit on the floor, legs tangled, warming up by the fireplace. Steve falls asleep, and you step outside to get a breath of fresh air.

The dead man is still on the porch, staring up at you.

“He looks peaceful,” you say to Bucky, who’s appeared silently behind you in the doorway.

“He probably is,” he replies. “God knows anything is more peaceful than this life.”

You charge at him, and bite his lip so hard he whimpers. He takes you right up against the front door, frosty cold biting into your back. Steve watches through the window.

This is where the evening splits in half, Henry, love or death. Grab an end, pull hard, and make a wish.

When Steve and Bucky get called back to SHIELD, you get scared.

You’re not exactly an upstanding citizen. You’re the furthest thing from an Avenger. SHIELD are going to take one look at you and lock you up for the rest of your life, you’re sure of it.

The boys won’t let that happen.

The two of them argue about going back for days. You get caught in the crossfire. You’re used as an excuse, a bargaining chip, a distraction. You’re a tactic, both of them trying to use you against the other.

Eventually, Bucky cracks. Maybe it’s because your lips are on his neck and Steve’s are on his stomach. Maybe it’s because he’s tired of fighting.

“Fine, Stevie. Fine,” he sighs. “But if it all goes wrong, I’m taking her, and we’re running. I ain’t dealing with all that shit again.”

Steve nods in agreement, and shoves his tongue in Bucky’s mouth.

The three of you decide you’ll go back together. You make a deal – you’ll refuse to be separated. If you have to fight, you’ll fight as one. No one’s going to tear you apart. Not even death.

Steve cuts his palm first, then yours, then Bucky’s. You join hands, and promise that no matter what happens, you’ll always choose each other.

Blood drips down your wrist, and Steve catches it with his tongue.

Both men look at you with their big blue eyes, and you know nothing is ever going to hurt you as much as love does.

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twstgameplay · 1 year ago

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General Chapter 6 Advice

We have gotten a lot of asks for team building advice for chapter 6. The most important thing we can emphasize is to build your cards.

Teams for story battles do not need amazing synergy in order to progress. The tower battles require you to do both history and alchemy lessons to build your cards because you cannot rely on support cards.

You do not need a team of full SSRs in order to beat the towers. Mod Furoido did it with only SRs and Rs from the permanent pool and you can read about it in this post. You can also check out the #chapter 6 help tag to see the teams we have put together for other people.

You can complete the towers in any order but I suggest you start with the tower that has your weakest team. Do not use auto if you want to minimize your frustration with RNG. If you have trouble with 6-66, I suggest that you either rethink your teams or build your cards more for 6-67.

Each tower has a section where you have to find the correct node. You can go back and do the extra battles for some more character dialogue.

Correct codes for 6-66

Correct codes for 6-67

Selecting and Building Cards

Story battles do not need amazing buddy synergy but having a little bit does help. If you are unfamiliar with team building you can see the list of recommended cards at the end of the post.

You need to build at minimum 15 cards for the towers. You cannot use the same character for multiple towers. You can read about the character restrictions here. You can switch the characters you pick between 6-66 and 6-67.

The cards do not need to be fully built but we recommend that the cards be at least Lv50 5/5. 2 ATK + 1 DEF cards is a good starting point for picking cards. I would only do at most 2 defense cards if you do not have a fully built ATK SSR card because you will very likely struggle for damage. High level defense cards or cards with heals/debuffs are good when you are waiting for duo spells to appear or you need more turns to end the battle.

Prioritize spells with have the advantage elements for that tower. Prioritize ATK cards, heal spells, and duos spells if the duo partner is on the team.

On the character select screen, it tells you what is the main element is for each tower. The main element does not change so if your team is well built, you can use the exact same cards for both 6-66 and 6-67.

In addition, before you enter any battle you can see the elements for that battle in the upper left hand corner.

Recommended cards

The list only includes permanent SSR, SR, and a small handful of R cards. If the card is not listed, it does not mean it's a bad card for the towers. You would have to check the elements and synergy with the other characters on the team that are not mandatory.

The ones in bold are the ones that we strongly recommend because they have strong spells and/or good synergy with one of the required characters for the tower.

Team 1: Pomefiore (Against Flora)

Required Characters

Vil: Dorm, Robes, Lab

Rook: Dorm, Lab, Robes, School Uniform

Epel: Dorm, Robes

Others

SSRs: Dorm Ace, Dorm Cater, Dorm Jack, Dorm Idia

SRs: Robes Ace, Robes Deuce, Lab Jack, Robes Jade, Lab Kalim, Robes Idia, Robes Lilia

Rs: PE Floyd

Team 2: Leona & Jamil (Against Water)

Required Characters

Leona: Dorm, Robes

Jamil: Robes, Lab

Others

SSRs: Dorm Trey, Dorm Jack, Dorm Ruggie, Dorm Floyd, Dorm Kalim, Dorm Sebek

SRs: Robes Cater, Robes Jack, Lab Jade, Robes Kalim, Robes Ortho, Robes Malleus, Robes Silver

Team 3: Riddle & Azul (Against Fire)

Required Characters

Riddle: Dorm, Robes, Lab

Azul: Dorm, Robes, Lab

Others

SSRs: Dorm Deuce, Dorm Trey, Dorm Ruggie, Dorm Jade, Dorm Ortho, Dorm Idia

SRs: Lab Ace, Robes Deuce, Lab Trey, Lab Ruggie, Robes Jade, Lab Floyd, Lab Idia, Lab Sebek, Lab Lilia

~ 👑

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst gameplay #twst strategy #chapter 6 help #anemone viru

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hpowellsmith · 7 months ago

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March Reading

I read a lot of books this month, and had great luck with how much I enjoyed them! Favourites are bolded.

Brute: Stories of Dark Desire, Masculinity & Rough Trade - ed. Steve Berman

A collection of dark erotica stories about queer men: a variety of horror, thriller, and character studies. Some didn't entirely land for me as they were just a bit too gruesome for me to entirely enjoy, but I did love 'Dark, Firm, and Dry' by Rien Gray, 'Dick Pig' by Ian Muneshwar, and 'The Boy Who Went Forth To Learn What Fear Was by LC Von Hessen'; 'Suitcase Sam' by Tom Cardamone was horrific enough to disturb me afterwards. There were a few trans guy protagonists but amid a lot of lovingly-described gigantic cis men, trans men didn't get described as objects of desire; it made me realise how much I'd like to read more erotica or steamy romance where a trans man is written in the lavish/idealised/thirsty way a lot of the cis men were in this collection. It was also interesting that most of the protagonists were strongly submissive; it's sparked off a lot of offline conversations about erotic fiction and depictions of kink therein, and my own thoughts about how I write erotic scenes (though I don't consider what I write intensely kinky). I'd enjoy writing more about this subject but I'm not sure Tumblr is the place for it; maybe a blogpost one day?

Love Kills Twice - Rien Gray

I adored this high-heat F/NBi romantic suspense book. The characters were hot and appealing, with a lot of substance and groundedness to them along with it. The plot was tight and I devoured the whole thing at top speed. Much recommended!

The Salt Path - Raynor Winn

A memoir about a fifty-year-old farmer and her husband who became homeless and walked England's South West Coast Path. Powerful and evocative in places: I enjoyed it, though some of the descriptions and dialogue of the people encountered melted into one another a bit. I'm realising that I rather like these people-hit-rock-bottom-and-walk-in-the-wilderness-about-it books. They always inspire me to look outward and get outdoors, albeit in a lower-key way.

The Eye in the Door - Pat Barker (reread)

This was quite nostalgic for me, because I read it a long time ago (before the first in the series, actually). I like elements of it more than Regeneration - getting to know Billy Prior better, the city scenes, depiction of queerness and homophobia beyond what Siegfried Sassoon talks about in Regeneration, some of the socialist politics and class consciousness - but the main plot hadn't fully stuck with me. I think I see why: there are several long sequences that I found hard to focus on, and some of it is a bit strange, veering into depictions of multiple-personality-disorder that have been pretty debunked nowadays. Still, I enjoyed revisiting it. The sense that William Rivers is on the verge of breakdown feels palpable and gripping.

Love Bleeds Deep - Rien Gray

Justine and Campbell are on a not-so-idyllic not-exactly-honeymoon in France, growing accustomed to life together and the combination of enjoying a private life and Campbell's deadly occupation. This doesn't shy away from the psychological damage both leads have suffered, while also showing exactly how much they mean to each other. Again I loved it just as much as the first one.

Love Burns Bright - Rien Gray

So many romance books focus on the sexy getting-together part, and sequels don't always keep the spark going. But this series is so good for that and for keeping the emotional connections between the gorgeous characters. In this one, we meet Justine's family, which is already fraught as Justine wasn't in a position to be in touch with them for a long time - but things soon get complicated. I loved it.

A Love So Dark - Rien Gray

Such a good finale for an amazing dark queer romance series! The relationship between Justine and Campbell is beautifully drawn and as hot as ever - no weird misunderstandings or other relationship-drama nonsense - but their situation is anything but settled as some consequences from earlier books come back to haunt them. What a fantastic series this is! Some of the books I've read about nonbinary characters treat them as learning opportunities, or as nice best friends, or as a vehicle for positive rep, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see a fully-formed, hot, flawed, adult nonbinary character making their way through excellent thriller plots. I love Campbell and Justine and I'm sorry to see them go, but it was an amazing ride with them.

Valerin the Fair - Rien Gray

A beautifully-written fantasy novella, the first in the Out of True series about sapphic knights. The details are so lovely - they remind me of what I loved about the prose style in Spear by Nicola Griffith - and the intimate scenes are stunning. You can download this for free, so if this sounds like your cup of tea, do give it a look!

#bookblr

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moookar · 10 months ago

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could you tell me about ur ocs? i don't know like anything about them at all but they seem super cool! /nf

GWAAH thank you for the ask <33 i love any opportunity to infodump, this made my night

all the important stuff is here! that's the short version, it mostly focuses on characters which i recommend reading first i think. It's kind of out of date though </3

i figure i can go over some of the plot here :] but first some lore notes: generally 1820s-ish, takes place in a kingdom named Wralan, magic is a thing although im in the middle of redoing it

the first Important plot thing that happens is the duke and his eldest daughter's death. Caparal is left in line for succession, but he *really, really* doesn't want to do that--he suffers from really severe social anxiety & never expected this & is currently mourning & is genuinely not good at the skills needed for this & & &.

*Lionel*, on the other hand, has wanted literally nothing more than to make a difference his whole life, and is actually a competent, intelligent charismatic person--a strong leader.

(He's also 19 years old and has severe anxiety, paranoia, and isolation issues.) (He's a better duke, but it's not healthy.)

Caparal giving this role to his younger brother made him a mild laughingstock at best, embarrassing to be associated with at worst.

Caparal and Lionel were really only close when they were younger teenagers. (oooh i wrote a short story about them at this time, after i finish the 3rd draft i could DM it to anyone curious). They strongly drift apart after Lionel becomes duke, partially due to the massive amount of stress Lionel is under (his #1 coping mechanism is isolating himself) and partially due to the fact Caparal is extremely busy with his work in alchemy and is hoping Lionel will come to him if he needs help.

4 months later, after Lionel has established himself as duke and realized that he is frankly Fucked because of how irresponsible with money his father was, a very polite person representing a prolific bank in Wralan very nicely offers to help him :) out with this rough financial situation :) just giving him a little money to help him get on his feet :) (bold faced bribes. Lionel is near forced to accept, and so begins his fraught relationship with Tiguuak Prasad, evil bbg of the century)

8 months later, lionel comes to believe caparal is planning to usurp lionel's place; Lionel genuinely doesn't understand why Caparal wouldn't want to be duke, for one, and assumes it's some sort of 3 steps ahead move he doesn't understand, but more importantly he thinks he has evidence. i don't know for sure what this "evidence" is yet--it's contingent on me finishing the magic system--but it's something that Lionel, someone who was already expecting something bad, can make a hasty judgement about.

Caparal remains.. completely unaware of this. He completely misses every cue. sorry king

So like. when Caparal turned down being duke that kind of messed up his social standing right. so ahaha his fiance's (Andrea Munteanu) family doesn't want to form that connection with him anymore. but terminating that relationship would be a boldfaced insult so their marriage is just kind of ???? indefinitely postponed

MEANING. Lionel literally cannot just kick Caparal out. Caparal moving somewhere else without his fiance's family's consultation would also be seen as terminating that relationship which is a blow Lionel Really can't take right now so they're kind of just ? stuck in the same fortress??

Anyway Lionel's fear gets much much worse over more months and basically just boils over into you know what FUck this. He hates being in this limbo. He's just going to kill him first.

So while Caparal is out on a trip, out of Lionel's sight (and therefor a death he can't see), he hires an assassin.

VERY MUCH unfortunately for Lionel a person named De Witte would very much like to fuck over the bank that's bribing him (for reasons I will not go into because this post is getting way too long)

So they hire a merc company to make sure Caparal doesn't get assassinated :) and the mercenaries on the job (well, more like mercenary) are Delayne and Rye! our other two protagonists!

And around here is where book 1 begins!

<3333 thank you for the ask mwah mwah mwah. I love political intrigue if you couldn't tell. anyway i shall leave you with 1 song that i think describes the characters lyrically

Lionel: Ship in a Bottle. Caparal: Good as it Gets. Rye: Worst Case Scenario. Delayne: Numb Little Bug.

Rye and Delayne are the fan favorites (/j, they are my friends' favorites though) and I did them dirty here <////3. Sorry guys. I'll post more about them soon i prommy

you can find all art of them in the "#exiled ocs" tag! <33

#moo's words #moo's asks #exiled ocs #caparal winslow #lionel winslow #tiguuak prasad #screechingsandwichhologram

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ethicallysourcedtink · 1 year ago

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ʻNO WOMAN SHOULD BE MADE TO FEAR THAT SHE WAS NOT ENOUGH.ʼ ↪ dialogue from the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon. ⁽ᵖᵃʳᵗ ⁰¹/??⁾ change pronouns/gendered terms as needed.

you know how i loathe the summer here.

i would break my fast. good morrow.

you're plainly a fool, and i have no interest in befriending fools.

you can be very wise, my friend.

as you decree, your majesty.

you look radiant.

there are shadows under your eyes.

my soul is touched.

come forth and face your enemy of old, or watch your city burn.

you have been forced to join me in my exile, and i've been poor company.

if i should hear of any whispers, i will bring them to your door.

i have no love for your queen. in fact, i roundly despise her.

you presume too much. far too much.

i am not yet recovered enough from seeing a corpse by my bed to discuss its use for childing.

i know we planned to go together, and perhaps you will hate me for the rest of our lives, but it is better this way.

you took him somewhere safe. what happens now is up to him.

trust me. you can do nothing here but die.

i strongly dislike visitors at this hour. or any hour.

you show an innocent face to the court, but i believe you have another one.

all the world is a cage in a young girl's eyes.

sleep has eluded me of late.

what do you think of his eyes?

they will hail us as legends one day.

you stand on equal ground with whatever i am.

now i know your secret, and it reeks far worse than mine.

i see what's in your heart. it's the same as what's in mine. ambition.

i have no interest in why you are here.

you seem devout. i suggest you pray.

you dare judge me for seeking help elsewhere?

her pride would never allow her to ask for aid.

did the bells wake you?

i shall not speak another word.

do you have any notion of what they do to outsiders here?

she may be sick in love, as young maids often are.

i don't think i'm at all well, you know.

you are a witch. you practice sorcery. i saw it.

you know why this is happening. everyone tried to warn you.

here. i will give you the rest if you behave.

you don't really believe in talk of alchemy and sorcery.

only a soulless husk could hate poetry.

i've always rather fancied an adventure.

all stories grow from a seed of truth. they are knowledge after figuration.

you have a quick tongue as well as light feet.

not all dreams should be pursued, especially not dreams conceived on the featherbed of love.

he must have escaped while the sentinels were distracted.

how does his royal highness mean to forge such an alliance?

i have had precious little entertainment in this place.

i come to give you warning.

better a mouse than some louder beast.

this is not courteous speech. who are you?

i am no green child to believe what i am told without proof.

i do not fear you. your threats have as much weight as smoke.

they say he was in love with her.

my word, but you are a lucky wretch.

fear will make you fight.

this may be too bold, but you seem not to be in high spirits today.

i have no desire to condemn him to death.

do you think me a halfwit?

oh, do shut up.

this mission may not seem survivable, but you never know. we may return from it as princes of the world.

we must do to our enemies what they would do to us.

fire has no power over me.

something is afoot.

you had better start praying for salvation.

i possess sufficient wit to dress myself.

spare me from baseless gossip.

flattered as i am, i seem to remember you are already wed.

stop involving yourself in matters that could undo you.

it will be a pleasure to fight against a warrior of your skill.

i have an interest in survival. i recommend you nurture one, too.

you have been a loyal servant at court.

i would sooner plunge my sword into my own heart than see thy blood water the earth.

i hope all goes as you desire.

i am unworthy of her love, but love her i do. it hurts my soul.

may i ask your name, since i have you to thank for sheltering me?

pray continue.

if her majesty was displeased, i am sorry for it.

remember, no matter how far you travel, i will always be your friend.

he is comely enough.

i doubt he liked her overmuch.

a risk is needful if we are to know the truth.

no duty comes above our service to the crown.

your plot is heresy.

i beseech you, do not expose our transgression.

he should speak to you with more respect.

you know a secret of mine. we are bound by a vow of silence.

wherever i am, i am with you.

you're not in love, then.

i pray she understands. that she forgives me.

this is a mission of the utmost importance.

i will not hear of him.

i took the same oath.

we ought to speak about our… situation.

how are you always so wise?

i know you are mocking me, sir.

please don't tell anyone, or i shall be ruined.

i meant no such insult.

apologies. a poor choice of words.

as i said, i have no interest in your mission.

i confess my mind has been elsewhere.

i have been too forgiving.

she is someone for whom i would die a thousand times, whose name i cannot tell. someone who is the light in my life, the breath in my breast.

what an honour it is to be received once more at your court.

i will always keep you safe.

we have tarried here for long enough.

let us pray that, someday, she weds someone with a backbone.

i shall not involve you any further.

that is the problem with stories. the truth in them cannot be weighed.

i see through your mask. i see what's in your heart.

your pardon, my lady. it was a jest.

i thought i heard you talking. have we met?

#memo to self: chapter 10 #sentence meme #sentence starter meme #rp meme #sentence starters #rp prompts #sentence prompts #long post

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thegrapeandthefig · 1 year ago

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Thank you for answering about why you chose Thasos. You said you could do a whole post on the UPG and the inscription alone. No rush but when you have time I'd love to read it!

(This took me much longer to put together than I wish it had, my apologies for the wait. Fair warning to everybody who isn't the anon, this is a follow-up question to this post. I strongly recommend you read this preliminary post first for important context).

Let me start with the inscription, since it requires a bit of commentary. Here is my translation (from French to English; as it was published without the full ancient Greek text):

For you, an open-air temple, enclosing an altar, and its cradle of (grape)vine, O prince of the Maenads, a beautiful evergreen cave. That is, Dionysus Bakkheus, what Timokleides, son of Diphilos, founded; and for the initiated, a venerable oikos where to sing evohe, and the wave of the Naiads Nymphs with pure radiance; this is what with your grace, willing to mix the sweet nectar that pauses the worries of men has consecrated your priest, O blessed one; and you, in your turn, keep a physician in Thasos his homeland, keep him safe, you who always return young from year to year.

*the Greek term here is θυηπόλος which means “who performs sacrifices”, “priest” but also “diviner/soothsayer”. The French translators chose the term “minister”, and I’m choosing “priest” for simplicity’s sake, but while Timokleides was clearly the one performing the sacrifice that is linked to this dedication and this altar, but it’s impossible to say if he was a “Priest” from the term alone (as in city, temple-bound priest).

To give some background: This inscription was found in Thasos and dates back to the 1st century AD. It gives us information on the dedicant - Timokleides - who self-describes as a local doctor. The overall context, which is supported by other, more fragmentary, inscriptions from Thasos is that the island was the home to private dionysian associations (thiasoi, but not always) whose presence on the island span between the 1st century AD to the 3rd century. What hints at an associative context here is the mention of “the initiated”. The altar Timokleides was dedicating was both for his personal use and the use of the member of the association he was a part of.

But what made this inscription stand out to me isn’t the associative context. It was those first few lines: “For you, an open-air temple, enclosing an altar, and its cradle of (grape)vine, O prince of the Maenads, a beautiful evergreen cave.” and it is precisely this description that led researchers Jaccottet and Wyler to write a dedicated article about it. Before I start summarizing their analysis on the matter, let me explain where my UPG comes in the picture.

My UPG was specifically a very vivid (lucid) dream in which the setting corresponds to the description given, with emphasis on the words I’ve put in bold. If I were to choose a picture to illustrate it, I’d choose something like this:

Except it was denser, wider, taller and seemed endless. I can recall the yellow-green colour of a harsh sun hitting the leaves, very much like on the brightest parts of the picture above. He was there, mostly silent, if not for a sentence about a ring on his finger that was of a stone sharing the same hue of bright green.

So when I read that description, a good few months after having this UPG, it rang a massive bell, but as I said in my last post, I had no clue what to do of the information and let it simmer. And it also didn’t come to me to check the location the inscription was linked to at the time.

Then I found the article, titled ‘‘Le bel antre toujours vert’’ : une architecture éphémère, entre texte et imaginaire by Anne-Francoise Jaccottet & Stéphanie Wyler. It was impossible to miss, because “un bel antre toujours vert” is the French translation to “a beautiful evergreen cave”. In this article, the authors focus on the ephemeral quality of certain altars, and especially the ones for Dionysus. They contextualise the important role of the idea of a cave in Dionysus’ myth (think the cave in which Semele gave birth, and then where the nymphs raised him.) They argue that the Ancients, in order to replicate the mythical idea of the verdant cave of Nysa and to link themselves with the Dionysian retinue (maenads and satyrs), have found architectural alternatives to create a vegetal “cave”, which has taken various forms throughout the centuries.

Now, concerning the Thasian inscription in particular, the authors come to a very similar conclusion to the one I ended up with through my UPG:

“Si ce temple en question n'a pas de toit en dur, le feuillage vert de la vigne se charge de lui en fournir un dont la nature sied particulièrement au dieu que l'on y compte honorer, Dionysos, dieu de la vigne et du lierre. Que cette structure, couverte de l'entrelacs des pampres, comme une tonnelle, soit reprise dans la dédicace par les termes d'"antre toujours vert" ne saurait dès lors paraître incongru. La verdure de la couverture végétale du temple fait écho au qualitatif aeithales, alors que la forme extérieure de l'ensemble, structure bâtie pour sa base et couverture de pampres, se conçoit assez naturellement comme une métaphore de l'antre.”

“If the temple in question does not have a hard roof, the green foliage of the vine provides it with one, the nature of which is particularly suited to the god it is intended to honour, Dionysus, god of the vine and ivy. The fact that this structure, covered with the interlacing of vine branches, like an arbour, is referred to in the dedication as an "evergreen cave" cannot therefore seem incongruous. The greenness of the temple's plant cover echoes the qualitative of aeithales*, while the external shape of the whole, a structure built for its base and covered with vine branches, is quite naturally conceived as a metaphor for the cave.” *ἀειθαλής = evergreen

The article itself is a call for historians to revisit the existing archaeological evidence with the knowledge of the existence of this type of structure, which might have been hard to notice.

So there it is. The full explanation of how I lost my mind trying to make sense out of this mess. In hindsight, I am glad it all spanned over several months to get from the UPG to Jaccottet's thesis to the last article I summarized, because otherwise the overload would have been real. It's only after all this that I decided to dig deeper into Thasos as an island, which links back to what I described in the first ask you sent. I am typically wary when it comes to sharing UPG because it is intrinsicly subjective, but this is a case where I feel I have enough material outside of it to justify why this isolated inscription was the turning point in my (very) personal practice.

#thasian recon #upg #very sorry if there are typos #I've finished writing this after a day of work and it's late and I'm tired lol

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aza-trash-can · 11 months ago

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Abbey by Mitski has been a cornerstone for my writing process with both versions of my baby Neuvillette fics (although more prominently the second one, and I think we can guess why), as well as various angst wips and ideas that will likely never get written centering around our dear dragon. And it’s been on my mind for a while: why do I think this song resonates so strongly with Neuvillette?

Well, first and foremost, the tone. It’s almost purely vocals, initially quiet and slightly haunting, but mostly just sad, and it crescendos as more tracks get layered and her singing gets louder. The quieter portions are tinged with melancholy, which if that doesn’t perfectly fit Neuvillette, I don’t know what does. As the song grows louder, there’s this desperation to her singing, which combined with the lyrics feel very fitting for him (I will get into this when I analyse the lyrics). It then draws back and becomes quieter once again, a dejected resolution to the desperation previously expressed, which again I feel fits Neuvillette’s character spectacularly. He feels deeply, believes deeply and has strong convictions, but won’t hesitate to put his feelings aside if he believes it’s for the greater good. Dejection and a refusal of his own emotions despite a passionate desperation for something more.

And for once, I have listened to the lyrics of a song (big mistake for me, I feel even more upset when listening to it now, but I digress), and god if these lyrics don’t hit hard for his character. I’ve put all the lyrics in bold underneath, and I’ll go about analysing them in sections (I also highly recommend giving this song a listen if you’re in the right headspace for a Mitski song, it is so beautiful, and try as I might to convey my thoughts and feelings about this song and Neuvillette in words, nothing can beat listening to it.)

I am hungry

I have been hungry

I was born hungry

What do I need?

These lyrics, at least in relation to Neuvillette, are more metaphorical than literal. I consider the ‘hunger’ here for Neuvillette to be a hunger for knowledge and, more importantly, understanding. I believe he’s a being that craves to understand himself and his emotions, but can’t. I also believe that he craves the connection and interaction that humans have with each other, but he doesn’t realise it. He’s a dragon sovereign that has never met another dragon and likely hasn’t met many vishaps, much less made connections with any that he did find. At least, deep connections like he sees between humans. He lacks connection with his own kind (if he even thinks he has his own kind. He’s a sovereign but he has a human-like body, stuck somewhere in the middle), so he hungers for a connection with someone, anyone, who would be willing to give that to him. But he doesn’t understand that that’s what he wants, he doesn’t know what he needs and craves. He goes about isolating himself because he believes that’s what’s best, but we also see how he doesn’t hesitate to care for the melusines and create strong connections with them. (Perhaps he sees them in the same situation as him, in a way: craving an understanding of this human world they find themselves in, not fitting in all that well with the humans but still wanting some form of connection. And if we go the route of Neuvillette being self deprecating/undervaluing himself, which we see with how he doesn’t recognise what he’s done for Fontaine and says it was simply his duty, then perhaps he feels that since he is neither fully dragon nor fully human, he can at least allow himself to associate freely with creatures who are neither dragon nor human as well.)

I am something

I have been something

I was born something

What could I be?

This feels core to Neuvillette’s struggles with understanding himself; who he is, what he is, what he’s meant to do. He certainly is something, and he knows to an extent what he is, but what does that mean for him? What does being the reincarnation of a sovereign dragon mean in a world of humans? What does it mean to be born into a body that’s his but possibly doesn’t feel his own? What is he supposed to do, both before and after he gained (or regained, but reincarnation is too tricky for me to fully wrap my head around so I’m treating him like an heir to the power and a separate being from the original hydro sovereign rather than them being one and the same. Although, if they were the same being, that could compound this, because then who is he as Neuvillette? Is he even his own person/being anymore? Too tricky for me, but food for thought for those willing to think through difficult things more than me) his sovereignty? What does being the sovereign mean? He knows he’s something, but he’s not entirely sure what that entails. What could he be?

There is a light that I can see

But only, it seems, when there’s darkness in me

There is a dream that I sometimes see

That only appears in the dark of sleep

This section is interesting to me. I feel the ‘light’ for Neuvillette could be his emotions or his comprehension/recognition of them, and the ‘darkness’ could be any overwhelming negative emotion. It rains when he’s upset, which is perhaps the clearest indicator of his mood. Perhaps for the longest time, the only way he could concretely understand and recognise a shift in his mood and why he’s feeling the way he does is because the weather outright tells him that he’s upset, or grieving, or what have you, and he can then link that rather easily to something that happened that day given when the rain started. It can be harder to see the light and understand where it’s coming from when the sun is out, after all.

As for the ‘dream’, I believe that this could be the memories of his predecessor. He only gets glimpses when he sleeps, fragments of dreams that are really memories from a life he doesn’t remember, giving him only slivers to work off of when it comes to knowing and understanding who and what he is. They aren’t consistent or coherent either, so really he’s just left with random pieces to put together whenever his deepest sleep grants him another shard of a memory.

I am waiting

I have been waiting

I was born waiting

For that something

Just to want something

I was born something

I was born

When has Neuvillette not waited, in terms of understanding himself, that is. This dragon stuck in a human-like body has spent centuries as the Chief Justice of Fontaine, waiting, hoping for something to finally click for him. He has probably spent centuries chasing the fragmented memories of his predecessor in whatever sleep he can get, waiting for the day that they fall into place and finally make sense. He was waiting for his understanding to finally become complete, and it has in a way, after the archon quests. But imagine with me that he has spent all this time waiting, just for one last piece to be missing. Just for him to still crave something, and he doesn’t know what but he knows there’s something he’s still missing, he’s still craving. (I believe this ‘something’ to be a deep, genuine connection with someone.) The best connection he can make to this feeling of missing and wanting something is that perhaps he still doesn’t have a full grasp on who he is and what he’s meant to do now that he has all of this information, personally that is. He knows his duties and will continue to carry them out, but what does understanding himself mean to him, as Neuvillette, as a person? He’s not sure. All he can be truly sure of now is that he exists, and he will do what he can to fulfil the duties that he understands the ‘something’ that he is, whatever it is that he is (yes, he knows he’s the hydro sovereign, but I believe even after regaining his sovereignty he still struggles with who he is as Neuvillette, as an individual, especially since as I said before, he is a dragon in a human-like body. He knows what he is, but since this body doesn’t match that, he still feels more like a ‘something’ rather than having full confidence and comfort in his own skin as the reincarnation of the hydro sovereign), must carry out.

There is a light, I feel it in me

But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me

There is a dream and it sleeps in me

To awake in the night, crying “set me free”

And I awake every night, crying “set me free”

The first two lines here are quite similar to the section I analysed earlier, but I feel the key difference here would be that Neuvillette has grown to have a better understanding of his emotions (being able to feel it rather than see it, implying a deeper connection to his emotions rather than simply watching them analytically), however the rest of the ‘light’ and ‘dark’ analysis remains the same.

As for the ‘dream’, I feel the meaning here has shifted from his predecessor’s memories to the sovereignty of the hydro dragon (which for the purposes of this analysis, this will be before the archon quests take place). The sovereignty lies dormant within him, fragmented and incomplete. This ‘dream’ is crying out, begging to be restored to what it once was, to be set free from the shackles placed on it by being broken apart and fragmented. And while I do believe he would be feeling this nearly constantly in some form or another, perhaps it grows loudest after a dream where he experienced the memories of his predecessor, the sovereignty in him remembering a time when it was complete and yearning for that once again.

And the last line. Perhaps these memories masquerading as dreams wake him up at night, and he is left craving that same freedom his sovereignty begs for, and cries out for it in tandem (I say cry out, but I feel Neuvillette would more so whisper, if he spoke at all in those times). Perhaps he’s seeking out a different kind of freedom, a freedom to be himself, whatever that means. Perhaps a freedom from his position as Chief Justice, which he knows wears on him but feels he must do and cannot get himself to leave it, not yet. Perhaps, after the archon quests, a freedom from Fontaine itself, now that he has to stay there lest the nation fall into an indefinite blackout. Perhaps a freedom from a world ruled by Celestia, the usurpers who killed his predecessor and thus demanded of nature, which still bends to the sovereigns, that he be born. Perhaps he doesn’t even know what he means when he asks to be set free, but it’s a phrase so deeply ingrained into his being without him even knowing why that he can’t help but say it when he wakes in the middle of the night, disoriented and with the wisps of a claustrophobic fear still clinging to him.

#neuvillette #my guys this has been brewing in my mind for so long #i admit a good chunk of my interpretations/thoughts here are likely headcanons but like #god damn i just had to share it #aza's character musings

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the---hermit · 2 years ago

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Selvaggia by Rosalia Radosti

If you know me, you know I love a good fairy tale, and I love one in particular when there's new spins on age old tropes. This is your typical princess story but with some twists. Selvaggia, our main character lives up to her name (which in Italian litteraly means wild) although she is a princess. We see her having fun, playing with toads in the mud, and overall being very outspoken. As every princess story there comes a day in which she is told she will have to get married, and believe it or not, she is excited about it. This is a detail I really enjoyed, because after having the old passive princesses who did nothing and had a happily ever after with a random marriage that seemed to be their only reason to live, we finally started having princessed that were strong and independent and that for this reason avoided relationships in every form. This is not a bad thing, I was incredibly happy when Disney came out with Brave, where Merida finally shows absolutely zero interest in getting married, but I am happy we are finally working with in-betweens. In this graphic novel we have a more complicated character that show us that there are not just two rigid options of "passive and happy for marriage" and "independent and strongly against having relationships". I was really happy to see a bold, proud and outspoken princess who also gets excited about the idea of being with someone who shares her interests. Anyway from then on we follow her story form looking for a husband, and then dealing with whoever she will end up marrying. This is a bittersweet tale that mixes old tropes with new ideas, and it was overall really enjoyable. I particularly loved the illustrations, and the author also included a playlist to listen to while reading which is a lovely addition. I really recommend checking it out if you like graphic novels and fairytales, it's also a really pretty obect to own in my opinion, the cover is stunning.

#2022 book #book #books #graphic novel #book rec #book recommendation #book review #graphic novel rec #graphic novel review #graphic novel recommendation #italian book #selvaggia #book cover #bookish #pretty books #mine #the---hermit

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vonkarma2 · 10 months ago

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10 + 24 + 27?

What's your favorite book?

Good question :3 I think a lot of the books I’ve read in the past like 2 years r common tumblr dot com recommendations, so saying them makes me sound very unoriginal like wow you liked frankenstein and piranesi and house of leaves. so did everyone else. annihilation. bold today arent we. I know this is favorite all time but I wanted to think more recent bc 1) all time is heavily skewed towards kids books 2) all time is such a broad statement I’d rather say like my favorite from the past 2 years. I want to say The Dispossessed but despite being good overall it took me a long time to get through and there’s aspects of the portrayal of sexual assault I really do not like. In terms of emotional impact I think the perks of being a wallflower might be up there 💀 sorry. Yeah it’s kind of corny but even so. He’s just like me FR. I think my answer is genuinely like there’s a lot of books I think are good or resonated a lot personally but none strongly enough that I would commit to calling them my favorite 👍 which is kind of nice bc it means I’m still actively looking for that yk

Your favorite pet name from your partner? (baby girl, honey, brat, etc.)

Brat being on the list?? What was op cooking. Anyway. I’m too shy to answer this 😔✌️ im pleading the fifth sorry king should’ve sent the first kiss one

3 things you love about yourself

This one is so funny bc I’ve sent it to people bc I think it’s nice to force them to be nice to themselves. but now that I have it myself I don’t want to do it. it would be so funny if I didn’t answer a single one of these questions. ok well I think Im decent to good at close reading things or at least willing to try ✌️. Ummm I like to think I’m understanding + willing to communicate + apologize if Im wrong. And I had good music taste for a 1.5 month period in 2021 followed by a 2 week period in 2023 👍

#thank you for asking :))#I messed up not counting graphic novels for my list of books I’ve read in 2023 #I should have counted Persepolis at least

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obey-me-headquarters · 2 years ago

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Thank you so much for replying to my silly thoughts!! Beware, this will be so long...:(🤡

Satan is my favourite so I'm definitely biased because I strongly sympathize with him, but yeah, his writing is pretty much a failure, especially after Solmare decided to revise the earlier lessons and eradicate certain character traits. You can still see it in his dialogues (home screen+interactions+unedited Devilgrams) - he's extremely snarky, playful and something is deeply wrong with him because he seems lonely (he says "You're late. I was about to go out looking for you." when returning to the home screen and "How bold of you. Are you sure you want to be stuck with me?" is his reaction to being gifted the limited item [handcuffs] on Valentine's Day, for example). He secretly gets a kick out of people being angry and is implicitly interested in having Simeon, who is a high-ranking angel, indulge in his sin ("Wouldn't you be curious to see what Simeon's like when he's angry?"). Plus, I think he's also deeply ashamed of his "circumstances" ("Do you ever sometimes wonder if Mammon is the most decent of all of us?") and thus very much eager to prove himself at every given chance (the incident with being transformed into a Little D, admitting that he's never beaten Diavolo at chess [and yet still trying] and he confesses that he think that he hasn't found a talent or passion so far [Devilgram: Be You] . Nowadays, he's just a cat-loving bookworm whose said to be smart but...never actually utilises it :( Everything is about cats and he's being treated like comic relief and cats are just his punchline.

I think the Nightbringer writing is pretty well-done, too, especially because they know what kind of success they'll reap (the original storyline was pretty obviously supposed to be done after lesson 20 with maybe individual routes beginning, but the game became too big too fast imo). I just hope that Nightbringer will introduce Lilith's alternative storyline to us, because logically, she should be alive in the human world since she "lived a fulfilling life as a human" after Diavolo saved her because Lucifer pledged his eternal loyalty to him. That's all I want tbh!! 🥹 I'm just so bitter that they're discontinuing support for the original game (meaning that there won't be any new lessons coming out and that the anticipated adjustments of difficulty in later lessons would be cancelled) but the pay2win aspect of gacha games will still be a vital mechanic, somehow??? They're not stopping VIP memberships or implementing some kind of progress transfer, but expect players to put up with the same micromanagement again...just in a game that is supposed to be "a continuation" but so far mirrors the first game too much to be truly innovative. I'm a 100% free to play player, I don't care about predatory gambling mechanics in the end because I'm not responsive to them in any way (I have other problems 💀🪦), but I know that many people just get sucked into these things without a way out. They're whale players and that's how these companies make money (and honestly... I fear that Solmare is slowly morphing into EA Sports or something 🤡). Plus, (this is just anecdotal and the devs aren't personally preying on people like that) the people most at risk of running into a »non-gambling« gambling addiction are cluster b disordered peolple who are already isolated... the comorbidity rates are abnormally high in those cases (I recommend Parmar's 2018 study [Indian Journal of Psychological medicine], they look at all personality disorders across the board and break them down by type of addiction, then rank them by rates of risk)

I don't blame them either and indulgence in food it's less of a red flag than depicting uncontrollable, chronic and incurable alcoholism but sigh you put it into words! Beel lacks secondary characteristics and there's no clear way of defining him. Most of the time, he doesn't even converse all that much because he's pretty quiet among the entire cast. And I agree, I loved Beel's character arc and just how devoted he is to his family. He's blooming with love and care for his brothers 🥺 and I think that's so sweet, plus the insight given when Solmare explored just how guilt-ridden he is was beautiful (and so painful rip). His vices seem to hold a death grip on him and that's just never given another thought.

If I could change a thing, I would have intentionally given each of the brothers a redeeming quality from the get-go and having it clash with their sin - Maybe divide the corresponding Seven Heavenly Virtues among them and have them struggle with it (Mammon seems to be written that way??? He practices charity and sacrifices himself but doesn't want others to know it [see the Devilgram in which he reveals why the witches abuse and exploit him, I sadly forgot the name rip]), but I agree that Beel's particular kindness should have stood out way more. He shines so brightly compared to the others when it comes to sincerity and I think you'd be spot-on with your take on the brothers' jealousy! Canon Asmo still wants to preserve the image of the Jewel of the Heavens and tries to be angelic and beautiful all the time. Satan is the only pureblooded demon in the house, I think that's what already gives him identity issues - an angelic Beel is just the cherry on top. And, ironically, the opposite of Belphie, who looks sweet and harmless but is so bitter and manipulative.

I think Lucifer's in an awkward spot with everybody, kind of. They are all aware that they love each other, but everyone thinks that Lucifer is the scariest person in the world. They're terrified of him 💀 when facing their respective fears (I can't remember which lesson or event maybe (??) :((( sorry), Mammon sees an enraged Lucifer and Satan sees Angel Lucifer... that's telling 🤡

Tbh Nightbringer Lucifer should exude Icarus energy - I've never thought about it but you're absolutely right.

Sorry I didn't comment on everything, but you've given me so much to bounce off of its incredible. Your ramblings>>>>>>

And, again, sorry for the spam and for this long long long long ask omg I'm so sorry (especially the Satan bit but I'm passionate about my boy)

!!! No problem! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! :D I really like talking about my guys, and potential stories!!

Ah, Satan, I love him but I can definitely see the flaws in his writing.

I'm kinda..... weird well it comes to stories. If given the choice between consuming a well written perfect story, and a story that has so much potential but didn't stick the landing, I will always choose the story that didn't stick the landing.

Which is crazy! I know! But I noticed that stories that have potential stick with me a lotttttt longer than ones I have nothing to change. I think it's because people are creative, they like thinking about what they want in a story, and so when you give them potential they want to mend that potential into a story they like.

All this to say, I'm surprisingly not salty about the bad writing decisions in Obey Me lol. Solmare is giving little hints of characterization they wouldn't follow through on, and I take those crumbs and make my own story with it lol.

I completely forgot about Lilith's alternative storyline! Omg, yeah Lilith is still alive!!! Gosh, I really really hope they do something with that.

I'm kinda torn on whether I want Lilith to become apart of the family again, since I liked the acceptance of grief that took place in the original game. I don't think Solmare should undo that by having her reunite with her brothers and everything being fine. But I do hope that Solmare does something with that storyline.

I'm upset that there isn't going to be a continuing story in the original game too 😔 though I do wonder if that's going to remain the case. I mean, I don't think Solmare is going to discontinue the game, seeing as players kinda need to play it to get Nightbringer. I'm crossing my fingers here, but I hope that Solmare eventually does something with the original game. They say there are still going to be events, so I hope that the events are longer. I know a lot of people liked a lot of the events, the pirate one, for example. So it'll be interesting if the original game focused on those, expanding the worlds they already created.

Having the difficulty adjusted for these longer events would fall in line with their plans to change the difficulty for the main game. Plus, it could still be paid to win since events still make quite a lot of money, with new cards and everything.

They could even, fingers crossed they don't but they COULD is the scary part, introduce a new currency for these longer events that open up an alternative route. Kinda like what they already have with the event keys but more predatory.... (A lot of gacha games already do this, the Arcana comes to mind)

!!! I've been meaning to talk about the Seven Heavenly Virtues!! I know that if I would ever do something with the 7 Sins, having the 7 Virtues be an aspect was always the plan lol.

Though, in my mind, it'll be interesting if these Virtues are their own characters, and each Sin and Virtue has their own unique relationship. Do they absolutely hate each other? Do they have a weird friendship? Do they want to murder each other? A dredging respect for the other? Madly in love?

Giving each brother a redeeming quality relating to a virtue sounds really interesting! And I didn't even notice that they kinda already did that with Mammon!

Having an angelic Beel with a strong sense of right and wrong is angsty, but it can also be played for comedy. Satan coming up with a scheme to hurt some demons and Beel is like ":( but that's wrong tho." And Satan is like "you're absolutely right, little brother, I don't know what I was thinking." And gently pushing him outside of the room. Once gone Satan turns back to everyone and is like "so they we get a buzz saw and-"

Morally upstanding Beel could also have a really interesting relationship with Simeon. I kinda feel like Lucifer is the only one allowed to have interesting relationships with the other characters outside of his family. His loyalty to Diavolo, his dislike of Solomon and his constant asking for a pact, and his complicated relationship with Simeon. He and Simeon could butt heads a lot, with Simeon believing that Beel can still be saved, and thinking that the only reason Beel is stuck in the Devildom is because of his loyalty to Lucifer. Luke could also believe this, and try to help Beel overcome his sin (while also accidentally causing Beel to hurt himself by starving himself) to try and make Beel into an angel again.

Idk, there's nothing in game to suggest this, but I just think it'll be interesting for Simeon and Beel to have a more strained relationship. It adds layers to Simeon's relationship with Lucifer, and Beel's relationship with Lucifer.

Maybe in the Celestial realm, the two of them were always butting heads on how to handle things. Simeon could be passive-aggressive toward Beel, believing that he was always meant to fall because of his bad decisions in the Celestial Realm, while still seeing that he's the most angelic of all the brothers, and thus can still possibly be "saved".

Give me Beel getting mad at Simeon for choosing goodness over his family. Give him loyal Beel who has a golden heart, but will walk with his family into Hell because he will never abandon them! Give me the two of them arguing over what's more important, morality, or family?

Lucifer giving Icarus energy is such a good idea! Give me Lucifer trying his best and still failing. Give me my fail husband Luci <3

Don't worry about not commenting on anything! I'm pretty sure tumblr has a word limit on how long a comment can be anyway, and all you can tell, we both like to ramble lol.

Don't apologize for long ramblings!! I love to hear them and bounce off of them!

I'm happy with getting new asks, if you want we can dm and ramble about this? It just might be quicker than asks lol. If you have a Tumblr account, that is, no sweat if if you don't! Like I said, i like getting your asks!

#obey me #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me critical #ask

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catboy-beb0p · 2 years ago

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sorry for the weird timing but ive meaning to ask for some time: what are the new things that came along with this synthv update ?

id love to know your thoughts man !!

Oh boy lemme tell you!

So the new SynthV update brings a whole bunch of new features. Some of the more boring ones include support for midi inputs and things that go along with that and some UI changes.

Now onto the big changes, update 1.8.0 introduces engine changes, including Diffusion Probability Models. After the fiasco of HDVM, I was pretty wary about this, but after testing the beta voicebanks for a bit, I can confidentially say the new update is INCREDIBLE. Voices are notably more realistic, voicebanks are more stable in their lower ranges (way less of this), HDVM is now working like it's supposed to, and cross-language synthesis is now way more clear. I've been told An Xiao's been let out of the washing machine but has gained a British accent, but I can't confirm this. The AI banks have finally been de-Weinafied, except, I've heard, for Weina, who's still got some spotty quality.

Speaking of cross-language synthesis, you're now able to select the language on a per-note basis, so if you have a multi-language song you don't have to mess around with groups like you used to.

Both Koharu Rikka and Eleanor Forte have gotten vocal modes, meaning all AI banks now have them. Rikka's are Kawaii, Soft, Pops, Emotional, and Ballade, and Forte's are Melancholic, Solid, Warm, Powerful, Dark, Clear, Tender, and Bold (meaning she's now tied with Solaria for most vocal modes). I don't own Rikka, but I do have Eleanor Forte and I can say that a lot of her vocal modes are really samey, but she finally has access to the strong voice I've been hoping for.

Dreamtonics has also released a new voicebank for free to people who own the full software, Mai.

youtube

She's a little bit too on the poppy side for me but I can sing her praises for her quality. She sounds incredible, her English is almost indistinguishable from a native English bank, and her auto-pitch is actually good. To anyone with access to the beta Pro editor I strongly recommend her.

Extra minor changes: SOLARIA's finally gotten her original voice tone back thank god. ANRI and Eleanor Forte sound way better now Stardust's [uh] phoneme finally sounds right and her Cool vocal mode functions properly now. SynthV is now a lot more caviler about rendering "the" as [dh iy] and it's only slightly killing me.

Onto downsides. I've noticed the change in how low notes are handled also effects standard banks, and GENBU's range has shrunk significantly, which is a pain for me.

Also a new bug on mac has made it so that occasionally the editor will crash when changing to certain voicebanks on some projects. I've no idea what causes this to happen but I hope it, and some optimization issues, will be fixed once the full editor releases.

Overall, it looks like Dreamtonics is finally fixing the mess that was the 1.7 updates and not letting Vocaloid steal their thunder. I'm finally excited for SynthV again.

#synthv #synthesizerv #nerd.txt #asks.txt #consciouschunkofmoss #long post #we've re-entered the synthv win era

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nepofm · 2 years ago

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happy sunday everyone ! we hope your first week into the new year was a good one . the admin team is here with another GUIDELINES UPDATE . please be sure to read the ENTIRETY of this post as it contains some important information . additionally , please LIKE THIS POST to acknowledge that you’ve read and agree to these terms

thanks for your time ! more information can be found below the cut .

GUIDELINES UPDATE. bolded + italicized is what has been updated !

more information can be found under the OUT OF CHARACTER section of our guidelines

AS OF 01/08/2023, we will be implementing a three-strike system. this means you’ll be given three chances should you break any of our guidelines. if you reach three strikes, the admins reserve the right to dismiss you from the group. this can include: ooc drama, failing to make activity, asking for an extension to make activity and not posting, rejoining after going inactive, etc.

as a gentle reminder , we strongly recommend giving the guidelines page a read if you haven’t done so already ! ❤️

#nepofm.admin

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cha2sourcing · 2 months ago

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Exploring Jin Jun Mei and Lapsang Souchong: A Tale of Two Chinese Black Teas

Chinese black teas have captivated tea enthusiasts around the world with their rich flavours and unique processing methods. Among these, Jin Jun Mei and Lapsang Souchong stand out as distinguished varieties from the Wuyi Mountains in Fujian Province. Though they share a geographical origin, these teas present contrasting profiles and characteristics that reflect their unique production techniques. This article delves into the origins, processing, taste profiles, and brewing methods of these two exceptional teas.

Origins and Historical Background

Both Jin Jun Mei Tea and Lapsang Souchong hail from Tongmu Village in the Wuyi Mountains, an area renowned for its ideal tea-growing conditions. The region's misty mornings and fertile soil contribute to the exceptional quality of its teas.

Lapsang Souchong, known as one of the earliest black teas, dates back to the Qing Dynasty. It is notable for its pioneering role in introducing Chinese tea to the Western world. The term "Souchong" refers to the larger, coarse leaves used in its production, while "Lapsang" denotes the traditional smoking method. This tea was initially produced as a more robust variety, and its smoky aroma has been a defining feature for centuries.

Jin Jun Mei, a more recent development, emerged in the early 2000s as a refined variant of Lapsang Souchong. Its name, meaning "Golden Eyebrow," reflects the delicate, tender buds used in its production. Unlike its predecessor, Jin Jun Mei is known for its luxurious and complex flavour profile, which has quickly garnered acclaim in the world of fine teas.

Production Techniques

The processing methods for Jin Jun Mei and Lapsang Souchong are quite distinct, contributing to their unique flavours.

Lapsang Souchong undergoes a traditional smoking process. After the leaves are withered, rolled, and oxidised, they are placed in bamboo baskets over burning pine wood. This smoking imparts the tea with its characteristic deep, smoky aroma and flavour. The method also enhances the tea's longevity, allowing it to age well and develop more complex flavours over time.

In contrast, Jin Jun Mei is produced using young tea buds harvested in the spring. These buds are withered, rolled, fermented, and then baked, without any smoking involved. This careful process helps preserve the delicate nature of the buds and highlights their natural sweetness. Jin Jun Mei's production requires meticulous attention to detail and is more labour-intensive compared to Lapsang Souchong, resulting in a tea that is both rare and prized.

Flavour Profiles and Aromas

The flavour profiles of Jin Jun Mei and Lapsang Souchong are as distinct as their processing methods.

Lapsang Souchong is renowned for its intense smoky aroma, which can evoke images of a campfire or charred wood. When brewed, the tea presents a bold, full-bodied flavour with notes of pine resin, spice, and wood. Its deep reddish-brown liquor reflects its robust character. While its strong smokiness might be an acquired taste for some, many tea enthusiasts appreciate its rich, earthy qualities and its ability to complement savoury dishes.

On the other hand, Jin Jun Mei offers a more delicate and refined tasting experience. The tea brews to a bright golden colour, and its aroma is often described as floral with hints of honey. The taste is smooth, with subtle notes of dried fruit and a touch of malt. Unlike Lapsang Souchong's bold smokiness, Jin Jun Mei's sweetness is gentle and nuanced, making it a preferred choice for those who enjoy a lighter, more sophisticated flavour.

Brewing Recommendations

To fully appreciate these teas, proper brewing techniques are essential.

For Lapsang Souchong, use water at a temperature of 95-100°C and steep the leaves for 3-5 minutes. The high temperature helps release the tea's robust smoky flavour. It is common to brew Lapsang Souchong strongly, but it can also be steeped multiple times for a milder taste in subsequent infusions.

Jin Jun Mei, being more delicate, requires a lower water temperature, typically between 80-85°C. Steep the leaves for 1-2 minutes to avoid overpowering the tea’s subtle flavours. Jin Jun Mei can also be enjoyed through multiple infusions, with each brew offering a slightly different perspective on its complex taste.

Conclusion

Jin Jun Mei and Lapsang Souchong are two remarkable examples of Chinese black tea, each with its own unique characteristics. Lapsang Souchong, with its smoky, robust flavour, offers a historical and intense tea experience, while Jin Jun Mei, with its refined sweetness and floral notes, provides a more subtle and elegant taste. Exploring these teas allows for a deeper appreciation of the diversity and craftsmanship inherent in Chinese tea culture, offering something for every palate.

#drinks

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