#bobby is buck's dad in every universe

[hippolotamus]

Seven Sentence Sunday 🥂

tagged by @weewootruck @eddiebabygirldiaz (definitely go check their snippets!)

Still in the rework phase. Please take this snippet of come close (let me be home) (prev snippets here) under the cut for the sake of your dash 😘

“I know it’s tough, kid. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you,” Bobby says, leading them through the crowd to a table near the back. “Athena won’t steer her wrong, though.” “I don’t doubt it, Lor- Bobby. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult, honestly. I want her to be happy, but–” “You want to keep her safe.”  “Exactly!” Evan accepts a champagne flute, noticing Bobby takes a lemonade for himself. “I guess I always felt like I had no say before, even though I knew Lord Kendall was a terrible choice. It’s difficult not to want to be more involved this time.” “That’s understandable. Commendable even.” Bobby pauses to take a sip of his drink before cryptically adding, “Sometimes no matter how much we try to protect the people we love, it’s never enough.”  Evan thinks there might be a story there, but doesn’t press for more information. He’s not going to ruin any trust being built by prying into his host’s past. He also tries not to think too hard about how true Bobby’s statement has been in his own life. Instead he shifts his focus back to where Maddie is talking with Athena, smiling at all the right times and looking like she’s genuinely enjoying herself. He walks with Bobby to rejoin their small group, handing a glass to Maddie.  “Anyone promising?” He asks, when suddenly a familiar face catches his eye across the room. It’s the man from the park, surrounded by a mob of enthusiastic socialites not so subtly shoving their dance cards at him.   “I know him,” Evan murmurs without thinking.  “Viscount Diaz?” Bobby questions.  Athena cuts in before Evan can answer. “I didn’t realize you had met. I know I certainly didn’t make the introduction. Bobby, did you?” “Not that I recall, my love.” “I, uh-” Evan gulps down the last of his champagne, feeling his cheeks flush. Apparently his etiquette has slipped his mind, causing him to forget how important it is that any introductions are made through Athena or Bobby. “I must be mistaken then.”  “He is handsome,” Maddie whispers, leaning in close.  “Y-yes, I suppose he is,” Evan mumbles, feeling his cheeks flush.  His sister’s observation isn’t wrong. Still, something about her acknowledging the obvious fact, coupled with the man – Viscount Diaz – being here at all doesn’t sit right under his skin.  “Your sister could do much worse than the Viscount,” Athena comments, looking quite pleased with herself. “He’s an honorable man with plenty of land and income. I daresay he would make an admirable choice. In fact, I’m not sure why I didn’t consider it before.”  “May I have this dance?” A gentleman – thankfully not the Marquis or the Viscount – approaches Maddie, extending his hand. He’s of average height and build with mousy brown hair and a forgettable face. As far as Evan can tell there is absolutely nothing noteworthy about him. Nevertheless, Maddie smiles and accepts his hand, letting him lead her to the floor as the music begins.

so many of you have recently posted so absolutely no pressure tagging @shortsighted-owl @stereopticons @elvensorceress @disasterbuckdiaz LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @vanillahigh00 @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @callmenewbie @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @steadfastsaturnsrings @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @fortheloveofbuddie @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life @buddierights @911onabc @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @gayedmundodiaz @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @maygrantgf @statueinthestone @indestructibleheart and anyone else who wants to share 💖

[hyperfixationships]

Some thoughts on a non-romantic relationship as I rewatch 9-1-1 and cry hysterically:

Bobby Nash lost his WHOLE family. Lost his kids and his wife and he never once forgave himself for it. But he took one look at Buck and it was like, "Oh, that one. It's him. That's my son." He took one look at Buck and saw him. He noticed Buck struggling, he noticed Buck pain and being lost. And he didn't know why, and he kept his distance because of his own kids, but he still took care of him. He still did everything in his power to keep him safe and fight for him even when Buck made it hard. And Buck did make it hard in a way, (not because he's hard to love, but because he's convinced he's expendable, he's convinced he doesn't matter, he's self-destructive and hard to keep safe) but despite it all, Bobby cares. He saw this sad, broken mess of a boy and they clicked right away. It was like it was meant to be, despite Buck not being from him he was meant to find Bobby and be his kid. In any lifetime and in any universe.

And Buck? He is self-destructive. He thinks his only worth is helping others, even if it's self-destructive and kills him. And who did that to him besides Margaret and Phillip? Who treated him like he was expendable, who only had him to save their other child and it failed. He was born to save others and it's all he can do now.

(Oh, you want to know why I'm in therapy? It's because I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment. You want to talk about our jobs? You think my job is dangerous? I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you! That is why I'm in therapy because nothing I ever did was good enough!

We tried but you always-you never made it easy on us! Either one of you!

We were supposed to? We were kids!

Evan, I don't know what you expected us to do!

Love me anyway)

Buck is self-destructive, and kind and will help anyone he can, even if he goes about it the wrong way. Buck has been made to feel small and useless if he's not saving others even if it kills him and Bobby sees that. Buck has the mentality of a teenager and will do anything and everything for attention. Who desperately wants to be loved and cared for, but no one ever stays. And Bobby? He stayed and he fought for him and he cares. Bobby sees a hurt kid who is so easy to love despite Bucks' flaws. Bobby notices the flaws and hurt but loves him anyway. Even if Bobby sometimes handles Buck's tendencies the wrong way. Buck gave up on a family a long time ago, but Bobby gives him one. He gives him the 118 and himself and Athena. Bobby sees this abandoned boy and thinks, "Yes, this one is mine." And Buck doesn't fully process that he will always have Bobby. (Even after the lawsuit. When Buck was convinced Bobby was abandoning him, Bobby was terrified of losing him. He was trying to protect his son.) Bobby gives him Hen, Chimney, Eddie, and Athena. He lets him into his home when it's the 118 and when Bobby moves in with Athena, Athena gives him a home. Athena knows Buck is theirs and gives him a place to go whenever he needs. Bobby and Athena see through him and love him anyway. They're hell-bent on showing him, "We see your flaws, we see how hurt and angry you are and we love you anyway." And Buck doesn't always know how to handle it. He thinks he's expendable, like he doesn't matter if he's not saving others. And Bobby? No matter how angry Buck makes him, he forgives him always. He loves him despite it all. Bobby who rushed to the hospital despite his frustration when he thought Buck was hurt. Bobby lets Buck control the pace of their relationship, Bobby who is patient loving and will always help his son when he can. Bobby is hard on Buck, because he cares. Bobby doesn't want to lose another kid. Bobby who makes Buck one of his lucky numbers.

(Mom brought two kids into this marriage, you brought one.)

Buck isn't used to being fought for, loved or cared for. And Bobby knows that. Bobby will always have a home for him and will always love him despite everything. And Bobby will always love him, and Buck is learning that. Buck is learning that Bobby loves him even when he's angry and lashing out. They'll always find their way back to each other because they're a parent and child. No matter how old Buck is. The whole 118 is Bobby's family, the first one since his died. But Buck? Buck is his son, and nothing can beat that. And everyone will always know that. And Buck? Buck helped teach Bobby to trusting open again. He taught him it's okay to have a family again. And Bobby needed that. Bobby saw a kid lost and adrift with a terrible family and wants to help, but feels so guilty. But Buck helps hold and support him when Bobby relapses but sees a dad in him anyways. And Bobby needed him just as much as Buck needed Bobby. They needed each other. They found a family in each other and found it.

[diazsdimples]

Rb this post with your favourite Dad!Buck fics!! This is to spread love to authors and also give me a handy little reading list. I'll start it off:

Heal - @perfectlysunny02/ perfectlysunny

If you had told him when he had first moved to LA to be a firefighter that almost five years later, he’d have the most beautiful daughter, he’d have laughed in your face. Buck wasn’t meant to be a father, he was reckless, running headfirst into danger, not stopping to think of how he could be hurt, or how he could die. He didn’t even know how to be a father; he didn’t have one of his own. But he wouldn’t change it, wouldn't change his daughter, for the world.

and here, too, am i - @cal-daisies-and-briars/ Daisies_and_Briars

Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

with every heartbeat I have left - iriswests

Buck and Eddie were expecting to have a little girl. When their baby girl is born a baby boy, instead, Buck is suddenly confronted with everything he’s been ignoring since he learned about Daniel every time he looks at his son. -- or; buck and eddie have a baby boy, and buck spirals a little bit

Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home series - @cal-daisies-and-briars/ Daisies_and_Briars

Affectionately known as the Nicoverse, 3 fics of which involve Buck and Eddie's son, Nico, and a whole lot of Grandpa Bobby vibes (I hope this summary is okay, Cal 😅)

Buck's Baby (By Accident) - @diazsdimples/ diazsdimples (shamless self promo)

Buck's life is turned upside down when a newborn baby is placed on his doorstep, with allegations that it is his child. Buck quickly steps into his new role of "dad", with the help from his family and friends. Follow Buck, Aidan, Eddie and Christopher as they navigate new babies, blossoming relationships, illnesses, injuries and making their own little family.

build my world of dreams around you - @woodchoc-magnum/ woodchoc_magnum

A series of flash forward fics, comprising scenes in the life of Buck and Eddie - as fathers of Christopher and twin girls, still surrounded by their extended family and friends, and making their way through life's ups and downs.

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Light Verse Project Complete!

As many of you know, Iron & Wine is my absolute favourite artist of all time. So when he released a new album earlier this year - Light Verse - I decided to do a fic for each song. And it's done! Here is the collection.

For anyone who is curious, here is what I did!

Track One: You Never Know

Fic: you could make light

Full lyric: You could make light, be the silly word Sitting on a tongue You could make nice or beat a drum

Summary: When a sudden blackout leaves May and Buck trapped for hours, the two find themselves getting a lot off their chests, and bonding over several important parts of their lives.

Track Two: Anyone's Game

Fic: no one can be born too many times

Full lyric: Anybody born knows how to play this little game No one can be born too many times First they kiss their lucky dice and then they dig themselves a grave They do this until it's killing them to try

Summary: When Ravi's younger brother shows up at the station unexpected, the 118 gets a better glimpse into his life, and Ravi gets a better perspective on both his families.

Track Three: All In Good Time

Fic: i told my future by reading your lips

Full lyric: All in good time, our plan went to shit I told my future by reading your lips You wore my ring until it didn't fit All in good time

Summary: In 2018, on their way to a call at a child beauty pageant, and feeling a little strange, Buck and Eddie are suddenly thrown into a fast-paced look at some key moments from their future. And, what they see? Well it can only lead to one logical conclusion.

Track Four: Cutting It Close

Fic: time likes pulling my teeth

Full lyric: Time likes pulling my teeth I never knew how many teeth I would need So it goes and it goes It doesn't matter but it's cutting it close

Summary: Buck is enjoying the last day of a family vacation with Eddie and Christopher. Over and over and over again. And Eddie seems determined to keep it that way.

Track Five: Taken By Surprise

Fic: i've seen a couple suns that set forever

Full lyric: I know this kind of moon It looks too full to come back down And I've seen a couple suns that set forever

Summary: Freshly home from Texas and faced with the prospect of his dad's feelings for Buck, Christopher's abandonment issues surface. A conversation with Bobby, and realizing the parallels between Buck's relationship with Bobby, and his relationship with Buck, gives Chris the perspective he needs.

Track Six: Yellow Jacket

Fic: a cold world for such a long life

Full lyric: Doves are losing lucky feathers in the sky Appaloosa's in the moonlight going blind What a cold world for such a long life Dogs are barking on the record every night

Summary: Eddie befriends Bobby's estranged older brother in a virtual support group for queer adults struggling to come out. The only problem? He has no idea that's who Charlie is.

Track Seven: Sweet Talk

Fic: Sweet Talk

Summary: Eddie asks to crash at the loft while Christopher is gone, struggling to be on his own. Only problem? There's only one bed, and no couch.

Track Eight: Tears That Don't Matter

Fic: are you not the lost and found?

Full lyric: Fly right, eat a rainbow Speak of the devil when gods in the details Meet the moment, kill kindness Finding and keeping that pot you can piss in

So are you or are you not the lost and found?

Summary: In which Bobby has the opportunity to meet an alternate universe version of his daughter, who has lived to adulthood, but her life has not been without its own complications - including their relationship.

Track Nine: Bag of Cats

Fic: treat an opportunity like it's treating you

Full lyric: Treat an opportunity like it's treating you Another plum thumbing for a ride Love is only fair 'Til all its favorite hair is falling out, falling out Falling out, falling out, falling out

Summary: After losing his leg as a result of the fire engine bombing, Buck is presented with the opportunity to have a service dog donated to him.

Track Ten: Angels Go Home

Fic: all our bruises beg for a chance

Full lyric: All our true believers break like fever All our bruises beg for a chance, beg for a chance

Summary:

Buck is adjusting to life living with Eddie, Chris, and his service dog Cranberry, when his parents visit for the first time since he lost his leg.

OR:

A Cranberry-verse take on the events of Buck Begins.

---

I am thinking of doing this for more albums! This was such a fun project!

[unhingedoveractivemuse]

A Blessing

Tags: Bobby Nash & Evan "Buck" Buckley. Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure

Notes: Flufftober #22 Heirloom

==================================

Bobby Nash knows that no matter what universe he resides in, he will always love his family, welcoming them with open arms whenever they need him knowing they'll do the same in return. 

It does not mean he isn't filled with worry every time one of his family shows up on his doorstep unannounced. 

Especially when it's Buck. 

It also doesn't help that Buck exudes anxious energy, practically vibrating out of his skin. 

“I want to ask Eddie to marry me,” the younger man says when they finally sit down and Bobby gently asks what's wrong. 

Bobby isn't surprised. At least not about Buck wanting to ask Eddie for his hand in marriage because he's seen Buck glancing at Eddie's hand a lot and not-so-subtle browsing wedding pictures recently. 

He is also surprised, though, which is a pretty uncommon feeling when it comes to Buck and Eddie. The only time he was truly surprised by anything that has to do with them is when Eddie first joined the 118. One, he hadn't expected Buck to be so hostile. Two, while he scouted Eddie to be partners with Buck and knew they'd complement each other, he didn't expect them to get along so well to the point that everyone knew it was only a matter of time before they grew into something more.

It's one of those moments when he was reminded that, as is with everything, God always has a plan.

It took a while between repression and their needing to realize the part of themselves that loves each other exists, but when Buck and Eddie finally got their act together and saw what was right in front of them, they've been so, so happy. He honestly can't say if he's seen them happier than when they've been together.

So, he is surprised Buck came in such a panic. 

There's only one reason he can think of. 

“He'll say yes,” Bobby reassures. 

He's seen these two grow as best friends and as individuals. Buck has become calmer and more settled thanks in no small part to Eddie, and Eddie has been more relaxed and more willing to lean on others because of Buck. He’s seen them with different partners - all nowhere near compatible with them (not that Bobby ever told them that directly) than they are with each other - until they were ready to come together to be something more, and he can say for sure he's never seen Eddie look at anyone with so much love other than Buck. 

There's no doubt in his mind how unshakable Buck's place in Eddie's life is.

Eddie will say yes. 

(He ignores the part of him that says “Or else.”)

“But what if he doesn't want marriage? What if he only says yes because he feels obligated to? I mean, after what happened to his last one, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want to get married again and I can't force it on him… and I can't exactly ask without giving it away.”

He's a good kid, he thinks for the nth time since he's met Buck. Even in the face of not having what he wants, he will always think of others first. 

Bobby is glad nothing that's happened in the past couple of years has changed that, and it makes him feel all the more confident about the decision he's made.  

“I have something for you, Buck. Sit tight, alright?”

He returns minutes later, sliding a little velvet drawstring bag across the table to Buck, who looks very curious about it but doesn't move. 

“It's for you, kid,” Bobby clarifies. “It might need resizing but it's yours to use if you want.”

Blue eyes widen at the implication, and Buck reaches out towards the bag, opening it cautiously before his mouth falls open. 

“You're giving me a ring?!”

“Yes. It's tradition to pass it down when your son is ready to propose, so, just like my mom gave it to me and my grandmother gave it to my dad, I'm giving it to you.”

He honestly doesn't know in which generation the ring originated from, but he knows the tradition of passing it on from mother to son when he's ready to start another chapter in his life has been going on for at least four generations. His brother should have gotten it as the older one but Charlie didn't want it, so his mom had given it to him when he was ready to propose to Marcy. 

He had asked her how she had known he was planning on proposing, and all she said was “I just knew. And I'm sure Marcy will know one day, too, when your future children are ready.”

Bobby might not be Marcy and Buck might not be Robert Jr. but he knew. 

Buck looks teary-eyed but manages to stutter out, “I-I… Bobby, I can't. T-that means this w-was Marcy's. And even…what about Harry or May?”

He had thought for a long time about whether he wanted to do this. The ring was one of the only things he had left of Marcy, saved from the deadly fire that had taken his family from him by chance of being at the jeweler for annual maintenance. Naturally, he had kept it but never thought he would continue the family tradition. 

Until Buck came into his life and wiggled his way into his heart, making a home for himself next to where Robert Jr. and Brook still live. 

The question was if he was willing to give up the little he still had of Marcy. 

But when he brought it up to Athena, she had given him a look and said, “I think you know what you want to do.”

“Marcy would give her blessing,” he tells the man that he sees as his own kid. “And Harry and May won't mind.”

“Y-you're sure? They won't get mad?”

“You know what May told me once?”

Buck shakes his head. 

“She said that Athena brought two kids into the marriage and I brought one. You're her brother, and I'm sure Harry feels the same.”

He watches as Buck swallows, taking out the ring and staring at it. “Is this your way of giving me your blessing and saying it'll go well?”

“You're ready, kid. You both are.”

=========================

Two weeks later, when Buck turns up unannounced at the door again, this time with Eddie adorning the engagement ring that Bobby gave Buck, worry floods him again especially seeing the nerves on Buck's face.

But the soft smile on Eddie's face should have assured him it wasn't anything terrible. 

In fact, it's…

“Will you walk me down the aisle?”

…it's a blessing.

[film-in-my-soul]

Cannon divergence- Buck/Eddie??

I hope you liked this one!

.⋆｡°✩ Eddie becomes a paramedic instead of a firefighter but his and Buck's paths still cross. ✩°｡⋆.

The worst part, Buck thinks, laying on the sidewalk struggling to breathe, is that he's not even on the clock. At least when the universe decides to hand him his ass on a silver platter, he's getting paid for it (if he ignores Abby, and Taylor, and Ali...). Still, it could be worse; Bobby can't get mad at him for getting sideswiped by a car pulling a kid out of the road.

Side on fire and wind still knocked out of him, Buck makes the choice to stay on his back. It's a decision based upon years of training and the fact he thinks he'll lose his breakfast if he tires getting upright. The people in his periphery are making a scene, calling for help, but none of them are actively checking on him, and he's too focused on breathing to hear what they're saying or care. 

Just when Buck thinks of closing his eyes and passing out until an ambulance arrives, a small hand lands clumsily on his non-screaming shoulder, and his attention is forced to shift, eyes sliding unbidden to the side.

A tear-stained face, messy honey-brown curls, skewed glasses. It's the kid Buck had seen tipping sideways into the busy street, his crutches catching in a half-hidden crack in the pavement, sending him topping over. Buck does his best to smile around his grimace.

"Hey buddy," he hopes there's no blood on his teeth. He hopes he's not bleeding at all.

"I'm sorry," the kid says, light eyes wet and redrimmed, his bottom lip trembling hard. He's patting Buck like a cat that needs to be soothed. It twists up Buck's heart, and he wishes he could sit up to comfort him, show that, really, this isn't the worst he's been put through the wringer, but he can't. Buck does try to shrug, though, and bolstered by the need to not be the reason the boy cries even harder, he manages a better grin.

"Hey, don't be. It's not your fault-"

"Chris!" Much louder than the crowd still hanging around the edges, a voice breaks over the murmurs, and Buck feels the kid's (Chris's, he's sure) hand squeeze him hard.

"Daddy!" Chris calls back, and Buck watches from his position on the ground as, at first, a shadow falls over both him and the boy, and then a man comes into view, kneeling over Buck, but whose every bit of focus is on Chris.

"Christ, Mijo, what the hel- what happened?"

"Dad, you gotta help him. He got hurt pulling me away from the car. You gotta-"

They're talking over each other, and Buck feels as in the middle as he is, but the awkwardness is quickly swiped away when Chris's father tips his head down, blocking out the midday sun, and Buck is hit full force by how beautiful the man is. Soft brown eyes edged with the tease of crow's feet and smile lines, thick dark brows to match his swept-back hair, and the promise of stubble at the edge of his jaw. Buck is struck with an immediate attraction so powerful it rivals the impact from the Tesla that he's pretty sure sped away from the scene.

"-ir, sir, can you hear me?"

Buck blinks back into the moment, nods, and immediately regrets it.

"Oh shit, don't do that, okay, you need to keep yourself still until the paramedics arrive."

"No, I-" Buck swallows, trying to clear his suddenly tight through, "I know. Firefighter." He'd point to himself, but Chris is still clinging to his undamaged arm, and the idea of shifting just to make it clear he's not delirious is both daunting and directly in opposition to his claim of knowing better.

The man smiles, and it's devastating how it brightens every corner of his face.

"Good to know. Someone's called 9-1-1, so I'm going to make sure you're alright until the ambulance gets here. I'm a paramedic." He tacks on the last bit like an afterthought, like he should make it clear that the gently probing hand suddenly on Buck's flank isn't for nefarious purposes.

"You sure you're not an angel?" It slips out, easy like breathing still isn't, and Buck can't find it in himself to be cowed at having said it.

The man, whose gaze had slid down to watch as his fingers worked, snaps his eyes back to Buck's face, expression wide with surprise, and Buck hears a soft giggle from Chris.

"Uh, no," he says, a satisfying splash of color coming onto his cheeks, "Just Eddie the paramedic."

Eddie. It fits. Buck likes it. He also likes how Eddie's clearly trying to tuck his bashful smile away and get back to the task of ensuring that Buck isn't bleeding internally.

"Coulda fooled me," Buck can't help himself, rewarded again by Chris's laughter, finally done with crying, it seems, and Eddie's soft chuckle and headshake. He flusters easily, and Buck can't help imagining pushing his luck just to see how much he can get the rosy color to spread over his tan complexion.

He doesn't get the chance, and before Eddie can reply, the sound of the ambulance is there, and then two paramedics descend upon them, one going to squat beside Eddie.

"Diaz, thought you were off duty today."

Eddie rolls his eyes, and Buck wants to comment that, really, are civil servants ever off duty? But then the other paramedic waves a penlight in his eyes and starts asking him questions, carefully dislodging Chris from his place by Buck's shoulder so she can get a collar around Buck's neck.

When they leave and return with the stretcher, Eddie helps load Buck on, and Chris fists his hand in Buck's shirt when they try to wheel him toward the flashing vehicle.

"Chris, we have to let them take Buck to the hospital," Eddie says, coming around to his son's side. Buck smiles, something twinging in his chest that has nothing to do with being jostled forward. He opens his mouth to assure Chris he'll be okay, that as long as Chris is fine, it's all good, but Chris beats him to it as he turns his face up to his father and asks, "But can't we go with him?"

The request floors Buck, and it seems to leave Eddie equally stumped. Chris uses the opportunity to continue.

"It's my fault he's hurt. I want to make sure he gets to the hospital okay."

Something flashes in Eddie's eyes, something that implies a story underlining Chris's words. If he could, Buck would wheel himself into the ambulance and away from what probably needs to be a private conversation. He can't, though, so he sits silent, trying to communicate to Eddie with his eyes that, really, they've already done enough, Chris with his getting Buck's help and Eddie putting up Buck's brazen flirting.

The female paramedic at the head of the stretcher, amused and unhelpfully, adds, "We've got the room."

Between that and Chris's blatantly pleading pout, Buck watches Eddie sigh and momentarily hang his head before he looks back to Buck, smiling small and crooked.

"Only if you don't mind the company. It would... it would mean a lot to him."

Buck wonders if he plays his cards right; he might be able to get that 'him' to become 'us.' He smiles.

"The more the merrier."

Ficlet Bingo! (Still Squares Left!)

[try-set-me-on-fire]

maybe fall in love

rating: G | words: 1,802

Morale is flagging here at the ass end of a 24 hour shift where they'd been bounced all around the city for a never ending stream of calls. The first week of summer is always like this, every kid in the district flooding out of the confines of the classroom and stretching their wings in the form of minor traffic accidents and what Eddie's heard Athena refer to as "stupidity induced injury." It's not just the kids either, the frantic energy spreading to even the oldest citizens. They'd had to confiscate illegal fireworks from a retirement home some uncountable amount of hours ago, Bobby doing his best stern dad lecture at a man 30 years his senior. Nothing's been too drastic, no death or mass destruction, but it's three AM and they're at their fourth block party fight mop up in a row and even Hen and Chim are snapping at each other and Eddie can actually see Bobby thinking through damage control.

"Buckley, Diaz."

Buck and Eddie are loading gear back into the truck, still sweating in the dead of night because the June gloom settled thick over the city has just trapped the heat in, turning the air into an oppressive muggy sludge. Eddie doesn't have the energy to respond, just turns generally in Bobby's direction. Buck, behind him, leans against the engine.

Bobby sighs, fishing around in his pockets to pull cash from his wallet and press it into Eddie's hands. He nods over at a couple of food trucks down the street that still, somehow, have lines. "Get food. Anything."

So Buck and Eddie shuffle down the road, more distance between them than usual, the normally comforting brush of shoulders suddenly an unpleasantly sticky concept. The options are bougie cheeseburgers with lobster or kimchi or peanut butter and jelly piled on them, or a fried chicken truck with an obnoxiously flashing neon sign on the roof. Buck raises an eyebrow in a question and Eddie shrugs, and they get in line for chicken.

Buck stands with his hands in his pockets and Eddie feels his palms sweat just looking at him. He's holding his arms slightly away from his torso, begging from the universe a breeze, trying to escape his own body heat. The neon flashes red and that makes Eddie feel hot too, the burning color of fire washing over Buck's features, swallowing his birthmark whole. It makes his face look strange, young and unfamiliar, and Eddie doesn't realize how intently he's studying him until Buck makes surprised eye contact. He raises an eyebrow, Eddie shakes his head with dead-exhausted eyes, Buck nods and stares back out at the street.

"How're Peppa's dates going?"

Eddie barely resists groaning at the question. Bad, is how they're going, and Buck knows that because Eddie calls him after each one to complain about it. He hasn't hit it off with a single one of the women his tia keeps plucking out of her mysterious bottomless pit of single young hopefuls, because he doesn't like their job or their interests or their laugh or the way their hand feels on his arm. Manicured nails, soft skin. Buck's head tilts lazily to the side, a little grin pulling up one side of his mouth, and the sound of the neon feels like it's buzzing around the inside of Eddie's skull.

read the rest on ao3

[les-pompiers118]

What a cruel thing to pretend

1000 words | rated Teen | Hen & Buck

A 1x03 coda ficlet for @911hiatus's prompt, "cruelty." Song title from Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple.

“I didn’t even know Chimney was going to propose,” Buck says, just to break the silence that’s been hanging over the table for too long.

Hen hums into her coffee cup in acknowledgement, but her eyes stay fixed on some point across the cafeteria. Her sandwich sits abandoned in its plastic clamshell with only a couple bites taken out of it. Buck scarfed down his own in about ten seconds flat and he’s thinking about getting back in line for another. But he shouldn’t abandon Hen, not when she still looks so wrung out.

Chimney’s out of his coma, which should be cause for celebration, Buck thinks. He’s choosing to be optimistic���inside his head anyway, because every time he says it out loud, Bobby and Hen feel the need to lecture him about long recovery timelines and the complicated nature of traumatic brain injuries. Hey, it won’t hurt to put some good vibes out into the universe, Buck figures. And besides, Chim seems like the kind of guy who never lets anything keep him down for long.

Hen slides her sandwich across the table with a loud sigh. “Go ahead. You’ve been staring at it for five minutes.”

Buck protests, but accepts it anyway. Ham and cheese. There’s a pile of baby spinach under the top half of the mushy croissant, which he picks off before taking a deliberately big bite. Hen shakes her head at him with a hint of a smile, which Buck returns. That’s better.

“So his family’s all in Korea?” he asks.

“Yeah, his dad and his stepmom,” Hen replies, fiddling with her empty cup. “His mom passed away a long time ago.”

“Do you think they’ll come to see him?”

Hen shakes her head again. “It’s not a good relationship.”

“I get that,” Buck says thoughtfully, then grins. “Hey, if I ever get hurt, do not call my parents, okay? Even if I’m on death’s door with my guts hanging out and only five drops of blood left in my body. Just don’t.”

Hen frowns, even though he tried to say it in a joking kind of way. She looks like she’s about to ask questions—ones that Buck definitely doesn’t want to answer—so he crams the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Her frown turns into a grimace of disgust.

“We’re in public, you know,” she chastises him.

“So? I’m sure they’ve seen hungry firefighters here before,” Buck says through his half-chewed mouthful. “Should we bring something back for Bobby?”

“Just coffee, he said.”

Buck piles their trash onto the plastic tray and pictures Bobby sitting alone in the ICU waiting area. Three rows of empty chairs and a TV with a cable news network on mute in the corner. “Tatiana’s really not coming, is she?”

“I don’t believe so,” Hen says tightly.

“Geez. There’s his answer, I guess.”

“Yup.”

“Ouch. Maybe he should have given that decision a little more thought.” Buck notices the disapproval in Hen’s face, and it’s not directed at him for once. “He didn’t tell you he was gonna ask her, did he?”

“Nope.”

Buck huffs. “I thought you guys told each other everything.”

“So did I, Buck. So did I,” Hen sighs. “They’ve been dating less than a year. I don’t know what got into his head.”

“He was afraid she would leave him,” Buck finds himself saying with sudden certainty. “It was a Hail Mary.”

“He tell you that?” Hen demands.

“No, but it makes sense, doesn’t it? He hardly ever mentioned her except to say he didn’t understand why she was dating him. I mean, besides the firefighter kink. It’s kind of like he knew, deep down, that she wasn’t in love with him.”

Hen’s eyebrows shoot up. “That is surprisingly perceptive, Firehose.”

“Okay, okay,” Buck says, holding up his hands. “You know I’m not doing that anymore. As a matter of fact, I got asked out on a date last week—an actual date—and I said no.”

“Did you now?” Hen looks totally unimpressed. She wrinkles up her nose and asks, with feigned sympathy, “Was she not hot enough, Buckaroo?”

“No, I have no idea what she looks like! We’ve only talked on the phone a few times, and she’s really nice. I just—”

“Don’t know if you want to date her?” Hen finishes for him.

Buck shrugs. He doesn’t want to repeat the excuses he gave Abby, because he has a feeling Hen will never, ever let him live it down if she hears him describe himself as irresistible. Truthfully, he’s not even sure he knows how to start a serious relationship, much less sustain one. Confidence and decent looks can only get a guy so far—no further than a quick fuck in a fire engine, it turns out.

Let’s not ruin everything by actually getting to know each other. It felt like a small, casual cruelty at the time, but now Buck thinks it was probably for the best that she didn’t give him her number. How messed up is he, gorging himself on meaningless sex? Chimney and Tatiana’s sudden nosedive doesn’t exactly make Buck eager to give it a go, either. Almost a year wasted trying to hold onto a woman who was probably never in love with him. Who wants that?

“You know, I think I’m steering clear of women altogether for a while,” Buck says, at last, then changes the subject. “So, how long have you been married?”

“Six years and counting,” Hen answers.

“Happily ever after?”

She chuckles. “That’s not a thing in real life, Buck. There are always bumps in the road, sometimes right from the first date. Big, big bumps. That doesn’t mean it won’t work out, though.”

“Right from the first date, huh? That sounds like a story,” Buck says with an expectant grin.

“Oh, it is. Come on.” She waves her hand at the tray on the table as she stands up. “You take care of that. I’ll grab some coffee for Cap. And then I’ll tell you on the way back to the ICU.”

“Have you told Chim the story already?”

“Chimney is the story, at least for our first date. Actually,” Hen laughs, “he’s more like the punchline.”

Buck laughs, too. “That’s Chimney for you.”

“It certainly is,” Hen agrees.

[made-ofmemories]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @jesuiscenseedormir

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

153,084

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively writing for 9-1-1 at the moment. Have written for many others in the past.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

All of these are 911 + Buddie or background Buddie

You can feel it on the way home (You are in love) || words: 23k || T || Buck moves in with Eddie after the loft is destroyed

I built a home (for you, for me) || words: 6k || T || Eddie shows up to work wearing one of Buck's shirts. Assumptions are made and revelations are had.

Just go with it || words: 9k || T || the 5 times someone thinks Buck is Chris' dad + the 1 time it's official

What's up with A shift || words: 3k || T || A shift knows no peace. B shift live in fear of the day they have to cover for them.

Feels like home || words: 1.5k || G || In which Buck stays for dinner, Eddie decides to be brave, and Chris just wants to do his homework in peace.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm allergic to sad endings so I don't really have any, but I'd probably say Eddie is in the room, just because of the nature of that fic but it still has a somewhat happy hopeful ending it's just closer to angst than anything else I've written

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I'd probably say Just go with it, because the entire last segment of that one is very domestic bliss kinda vibes

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't so far

9. Do you write smut?

No, I'm not against it I just prefer writing other things and haven't written a fic where it felt necessary

10. Craziest crossover?

Marvel, The Walking Dead and Supernatural for a crack fic exchange I used to do with my friends every Christmas

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once years ago but by the time I was alerted, it had been dealt with

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'm open to it

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

Yeah I write with @ladydorian05 all the time!

14. All time favorite ship?

Favorite at the moment is Buddie but I don't know what my favorite of all time is, it changes too much

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will

I have a tendency to go back to stuff after months of ignoring it so I'm never really sure. I also have a lot of stuff I know I won't finish but don't really want to right now either I'd say the one I'm having the most trouble with right now is a 5+1 of the 5 times the 118 bet on Buck and Eddie getting together + the 1 time someone wins the bet just because I feel like there's lots of ways for it to go wrong and I keep overthinking it. I also have a fic about Buck, Bobby and Chris at the zoo that I'd love to finish but I never have any ideas to flesh it out with so I never write it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fluff. Probably fluff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue, correct punctuation and I also tend to be very overdramatic and cheesy especially if I'm writing angst

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language

Love it but I try to avoid it unless I'm working with someone who is fluent in said language

19. First fandom you wrote for

Supernatural probably but I don't remember exactly

20. Favorite fic you've written

An unlikely friend from the Eddie Diaz and the Universal Cat Distribution system series It was purely self indulgent and I really had a lot of fun writing it, I also enjoyed the process of trying to write something that took place alongside canon for the majority of the time

Tagging: @loveyouanyway @nmcggg @ladydorian05 @inell @agirllovespancakes

[wellcollapse]

hypothetical Eddie coming out first sandbox. Buck is still acting insane because of that behaviour was about Eddie and not anyone else, but Eddie doesn't really see it like that because that's just Buck, and Eddie knows Buck's Issues and he gets it, that he's going to have to be a bit reassuring to get it through Buck's head again because he gets a little dense.

Anyway. It's a little like canon where he's being wooed and being taken to fights and vegas etc. maybe this guy clocks Buck's behaviour and makes a comment that he's not sure he could ever still be that close with an ex--Eddie doesn't really catch it, not until later, after the guy finally makes a move and tries to kiss him, because then Eddie's laid awake at night turning it over in his head and reexamining every single interaction they had. He realises he's basically been dating this guy, thinks back to how he'd described Chris' date "like when he hangs out with his guy friends". He maybe panics and then represses that panic. Breaks up with Marisol the next day--feels like a hypocrite for lecturing Chris earlier on. He's stopped talking to the guy, but he instead spends the better part of a week analysing everything and living in his head trying to figure it all out. Buck clocks that something's wrong, presses to make sure he's okay. Eddie blurts out that he thinks he's queer, because Buck has always been able to get him to spill his guts with just a look.

Eventually he starts talking about it with others, maybe at a dispatch catch-up or something he ends up talking to May and she talks about Michael and how now she's got Bobby and David in her life. Reassures him that it won't end Chris' world. Eddie sort of realises how he feels about Buck then, but maybe not fully--because he can't picture anyone else but Buck as a bonus dad like Bobby or David for Chris

all of this!!!! i definitely agree that tommy would still clock buck and eddie’s dynamic in this universe LMAO and i love the idea of tommy’s observation completely going over eddie’s head bc he thinks that what he has with buck is just Normal Boybestie Behavior™️

and i’m obsessed with your eddie-may conversation!!! i’ve read a lot of fic where eddie talks to michael but honestly i think this would be even more healing for eddie because imo he’d be much comfortable talking to her than a relative stranger (dispatch eddiemay i miss you…) AND he’d benefit from hearing the perspective of the child in a situation like this. 10/10 no notes!!!!!

[the-amber-raven]

Oohh I've always been fond of fics where Chris picks up some habits from Buck! Aside from the jackets, what other habits/headcanons you have for them that wasn't included in the fics?

This was a surprisingly difficult one to answer, since thanks to the (asides) I use in this series and the flashbacks in I once was lost, I've actually been able to include a lot of them!

(Also, I didn't say the hoodies tidbit wasn't going to be in the fic ;) Just sayin')

I've been trying to think of the ones I struggled to shoe-horn in though, so here's a selection:

Bobby had a Reputation at all of Buck's schools. After his first parent teacher interview at their school in LA, he organised a meeting with the principal. She attempted to fob him off to someone else but he insisted it had to be her. So she diligently collected information from all of his teachers and went to this meeting prepared to discuss what she was sure would be his concerns about his son potentially having ADHD. She had a list of psychologists to refer him to and everything! And then he hands over a folder and starts explaining to her very seriously that the school is barely meeting fire safety requirements and here is a list of all the things she should do to improve their adherence to code and ensure student safety. She passes this information on to Evan's next school, which has a very frantic principal running around quadruple-checking fire safety standards before the first day of school.

Related to the above - Buck is diagnosed with ADHD in this universe, although he never ends up taking medication for it. Bobby is more concerned with making sure Buck is taught in a way that works for him (see "Mr Stugley said that I need explicit instructions" in oh captain my captain) and he has no patience for teachers who just tell him to get his son medicated. The revolving door of sports is also to help Buck manage his need to keep moving and stay active.

One of the first gifts Evan ever got for Bobby was a horrendously ugly mug. Bobby did not care about how ugly it was and used it anyway. Buck got in the habit of giving increasingly tacky mugs, a part of him morbidly curious about where his dad would draw the line. Bobby is suspicious that his motivation is to test him (as is Athena when he starts doing the same thing for her) but actually he doesn't really care because he is that much of a Dad that he will happily use a #1 Dad mug no matter what it looks like. This was actually really close to being in the story, so have this little snippet I wrote: Bobby had wondered sometimes if Evan was subconsciously testing them to see if they would still be willing to use the gifts when they were so over-the-top. Ultimately, though, it didn’t really matter because he had loved every one of them purely because they were from his kid and had taken great joy in using them. 

Lily (the paramedic in Minnesota who treated Evan after the fire) holds a grudge against Bobby for counseling her to stop getting involved when he then subsequently GOT INVOLVED AND ADOPTED THE KID. She gets her revenge by teaching Evan about just how much of a pushover his new dad is and she is the main reason that baby!Evan knows exactly how to soften Bobby up.

Eddie was pretty happy with how things ended in that last chapter of the mortifying ordeal: sure, Hen and Chimney teased him relentlessly about the miscommunication but they actually seem pretty happy to hear he's dating the captain's baby. And then it's Buck's first day at the station and he is suddenly reminded that Evan is in fact the station's baby and he realises he shouldn't be so complacent just yet. There are many, many speeches involved.

Christopher has found their silken ropes in their bedroom once, after they forgot to put them away properly ("it was a long shift and we had a tiny window of alone time, okay, it was a totally normal mistake!" Eddie insisted to a cackling Hen later.) Buck spun a very elaborate story about how someone at the station had gotten a new cat and he had read about DIY cat toys you could make with rope and so he wanted to give it a try but he was just soooo tired that he'd given up and fallen asleep. Chris very kindly offers to to help instead since clearly they can't let the poor kitten not have any toys! The crew laugh when Buck bemoans the loss of the ropes. ("They were expensive!" he mourns, getting laughter from the crew. "And they were so good because they never left any visible marks!" Bobby is visibly traumatised by the conversation.)

Evan got so used to Bobby's cooking that he forgot that there are people who aren't as good at cooking. The first time the 118 have to look after Evan for an extended period of time (because Bobby is in the hospital, badly injured but not on his deathbed, which creates plenty of heightened emotions) Chimney burns their dinner, Sal makes something ridiculously bland, and Tommy uses a store-bought spaghetti sauce. Evan is very judgmental. (Hen and Karen do fine, of course.) Bobby feels very vindicated when he gets to go home and gets a cuddle from Evan alongside a speech about how much he missed his cooking.

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Buddie 611 Meta - The Sun & The World

*aka the cosmos/universe theme strikes again*

Buck has been accused of being self-centered several times in the show, especially in past season. Basically every main character at one point or another has made this claim about him. That criticism became lodged in Buck’s mind over the years. How could it not?! The people around him saw his attention-loving daredevil behavior among other things as self-centered (affectionate, because “Buck’s gonna Buck”). With Eddie, we saw him make this claim to Buck specifically about their relationship and the strain it caused several times during the lawsuit arc in s3. I think through the previous seasons, Eddie was the most vocal with this criticism and was pretty much the only one to ground this criticism in his PERSONAL relationship with Buck.

In 305 Rage, the infamous grocery store argument:

Buck: Look, man, why can’t you see my side of this?

Eddie: ‘Cause that’s all you see!

And in 306 Monsters during their reconciliation at the firehouse:

Eddie: Lotta “I”s in there. Your actions, your choices, they impact the rest of us. That’s what it means to be part of a team.

And in 309 Fallout during THE Kitchen Scene:

Eddie: Seriously? You’re gonna make it about you, again?

Basically, Buck took that past criticism to heart, like you do when you care about the people around you and you care about what they think of you to a healthy degree. That brain weasel surfaces in an interesting way in 611 via the coma dream. 

But that old criticism takes on a different flavor in coma land, because the dialogue in the episode evokes the idea of a planet circling its star, which lifts it out of the realm of just Buck’s ego and places it firmly in the Cosmos/Universe symbolism that’s so interwoven with the Buckley Diaz Family!

In 611, Buck is talking to Hen and Chim about Bobby and then Buck’s mind takes and interesting turn:

Buck: My not being at the 118 is what pushed him over the edge.

Hen: Or maybe it was just some random butterfly effect and the entire world doesn’t revolve around you.

Buck: Eddie Diaz.

Hen is Buck’s “reality” check. In the coma dream, as an echo of Buck’s own thought process, she tries to humble him. But somewhere in Buck’s mind he also knows that he is deeply loved and that he matters. The whole episode was about him starting to consciously realize and accept that fact so that he could return to his real life and thrive. He’s working to replace his bravado (ultimately a performance on some level) with an understanding that he actually does matter.  So, in Buck’s coma dream, when Hen evokes the idea of Buck as the sun and everyone else as the world revolving around him, she both echoes old ego wounds AND she creates space in Buck’s head for him to figure out that he’s not the center of the universe in any grand sense but that he does bring light and love to his loved ones just by being himself, a bright sun. He doesn’t fully get it in terms of Bobby until the end of the ep, but dream!Hen’s criticism initiates the workshop process of Buck truly seeing his influence in other people’s lives.

After the Bobby realization starts to percolate, Buck immediately asks about Eddie. It matters that it is immediately after Hen’s comment about the world not revolving around Buck. I’ll come back to that.

Hen: They said that Diaz was unfit. That he couldn’t be a firefighter and a single dad. He tried to bring him to the firehouse a few times, but Captain Righetti said no.

Buck: [flashback and then] Carla. He never met Carla.

Buck eventually saw his role in Bobby’s life but he dropped the ball with Eddie! Buck thinks that Eddie would have lost Christopher if he never met Carla. Our guy removes himself from that equation entirely. Despite the fact that up to the flashback point in the coma dream, Buck was the one who introduced Eddie and Carla in the queerest way possible! Buck was the one who assuaged Eddie’s fears about Chris during the earthquake and took Eddie to pick up Chris after the earthquake and went to the hospital with Eddie when Abuela broke her hip!!! Buck, it wasn’t Carla who changed Eddie’s life; you did that, my guy!! But Buck can’t see it. Not yet. 

Back to my point about Buck immediately thinking of Eddie after Hen tells him the world doesn’t revolve around him. So, this is Buck’s deep dark subconscious. I took that whole exchange to mean that Buck’s world does in fact revolve around Eddie and Chris. In reality, Buck has centered Eddie and Chris since he and Eddie took vows to have each others’ backs in 201. Buck has been doing The Most since that day. He faltered in the lawsuit arc but came back strong and hasn’t wavered even a little since then, dropping everything when needed to be there for his family. The Diazes are the center of Buck’s world and some part of him knows that but that part isn’t conscious yet, hence the Chris of it all asking him to help him find his dad plus Chris’ words to him being the signal to his coma brain that he needed to get back to the hospital in order to wake up.

It’s also super important that Buck’s thought process while talking to Hen in the coma dream is about Eddie as a single dad in particular. He didn’t think of it as Eddie being without resources/support. No. He framed it as him being a single dad. That means that Buck was aware on some level that he was stepping up and stepping into a co-parenting role for Chris with Eddie!! Some part of Buck knows that he buffered Eddie against the fallout of being a single dad. Abuela had health issues and then moved back to Texas. Tia Pepa had circumstances that limited her involvement with her nephew and Chris. Carla is a paid professional (echoed in her distraction technique with the nurse!) but Buck is Eddie’s actual partner in every way. He is the one who’s keeping Eddie from truly being a single dad. Based on Buck’s coma dream, I repeat: some part of his beautiful brain knows that!!

Going back to the fandom read that “Buck is the sun” - Eddie and Chris love Buck and he’s their light especially in dark times. We’ve seen it repeatedly. It was featured in the scene where Chris and Eddie visit Buck in his room. He’s illuminated by the lamp above the bed while Eddie weeps in the dark. Even in a coma, that man is lighting up their life! But in that particular scene, Buck is a distant sun and Eddie is struggling to feel the light. Chris isn’t though. He’s right there next to the sun drawing him back out. Stars and planets, baby! Between Buck showing up for them in every way and the constant interplay of light and shadow in their scenes, Buck as the sun is pronounced in this episode. I would argue that the reverse is true as well but Buck hasn’t had the full realization that the Diazes are his sun and his family yet. *sigh*

Buck is working out his issues in 611 so that he can show up for himself AND for his family in a fully conscious way. If Chris is the Universe that energizes and holds all things in the Buckley Diaz Family, then Eddie and Buck are worlds, circling each others’ star. I may be taking the metaphor too far but I don’t care lol. Buck is moving from the subconscious awareness that Eddie and Chris are his family to a conscious awareness. It’s so damn beautiful it makes me weep.

[whateverthedragonswant]

Eddie: "Well, the rain finally started." (aka the other shoe finally dropped as expected)

Buck: "It's kind of weird but it ended up being a really nice night. Kind of felt like we were an actual family."

Eddie: "You are an actual family."

Buck (with that little familiar smile and duck of his head): "It never felt that way before."

Bobby: "So maybe you all made some progress there. That's good. Life's too short to take those relationships for granted."

Eddie: "Sounds like your family had your back on the whole donation thing. That's definitely progress."

Buck: "No, they, uh, they totally thought that was an idiotic decision. They just weren't going to let Chimney's dad have the last word on it.

1, Eddie has no idea what he's about to be in for.

2, Eddie hasn't been in much of the episode which would be weird given how he was emotionally supportive and present for Buck back in season 4 when Buck's parents came around & it would be even weirder to bring Albert back for it but not Eddie. However, I see what they're doing here. This is about Buck, as we all know, and he & Eddie are not on the same page as evidenced not only be the sweat shirt/suspenders from the turnout gear locker scene but also Buck not being honest with Eddie about his parents' actual reaction to the donor news. Which would be weird considering again what happened in season 4 and how he had no problem being honest with Eddie (or Bobby) then, but this is all setting up Buck to go on this journey that we're about to see so he can come full circle in his arc himself. And he needs to do that himself in order for there to be the full growth/development he needs to experience in order to get to Buck 4.0 and set him up for his future (aka Buddie). So it's no coincidence that he's not being completely honest here with Eddie or Bobby (his father figure & the person that sometimes mirrors Eddie himself).

3, The universe is about to get very loud again. Buck isn't listening to it and it's obvious because of him just saying what he said to Eddie even though we the viewers know differently (and thus we are supposed to question just why Buck is telling Eddie and Bobby something different when we know Buck is probably over the moon about his parents' real reaction, primarily Eddie since they are facing each other & his answer is directly to Eddie's statement). Buck had no problem admitting that it felt like they were a family to Eddie and Bobby who both commented on it. But Eddie was the only one to bring up the donor issue (which means it's on his mind & most likely what's bothering him, just like in 6A when we saw the four-way phone call, also notice no Hen or Chim in the engine at this point, Chim who would call bull on what Buck just said & Hen who Buck confided in before everyone else about the donor decision) and that's when Buck gives him that line. The sperm donor issue isn't just an issue for Buck; it's an issue for Eddie, too. This cements it. The fact that Bobby doesn't comment on it or say anything akin to Eddie shows just who this issue is going to affect/impact moving forward. And I think iirc there was talk about a possible dating scenario for Eddie in this back half of the season? This all jives exactly with that scenario if it happens. Buck and Eddie need to get on the same page first before anything can happen.

4, Bobby! Life is too short to take those relationships for granted??? While it's being made obvious that Buck is still holding something from Eddie and vice versa? You're killing me here. Do I really have to wait another week to see how this is all going to play out with what's coming? Especially for Buck's life? 911 writers, have mercy!

5, for those who say Buddie isn't a real thing, it won't go canon, and whatever else: the fact that the universe (aka the writers/show) has gotten involved each and every single time when it comes to these two guys and their arcs means they're moving towards it. Accept it, love it, live it, and move on. The whole roadmap has been set out before us; season 7 is going to be lit.

[rqgnarok]

lights will guide you home

read on ao3 

Buck runs.

Despite how he’s running towards his life, towards his family, he has to leave them behind to get back to them.

He leaves Bobby, high and drunk and somehow still fundamentally wise because that’s who he will always be to Buck: someone to lean on, to learn from, to seek comfort in. A parent, in every way the Buckleys never were.

He waves Chim off, the slightest bit relieved when he hears he and Maddie have met and even if this world isn’t real if it’s a universe where everything is absolutely wrong, Maddie and Chim find each other. They gravitate to each other and become one of the couples Buck admires the most in his life, has watched and understood more about love than his parents or his partners ever taught him.

He has to lean in and kiss Hen on the forehead, finding his footing amidst all the adrenaline when he comes to the realization that she’s the one thing that hasn’t changed. She made gentle fun of him the second she saw him even if he was a total stranger, helped him despite her better judgment, and brought him closer to coming home. She smiles at him, hits him on the chin gently with her knuckles, and tells him, knowing. “Go home, Buckaroo.”

He almost doesn’t stop for his parents. They look at him the way he’s wanted to his entire life, soft and loving and with their arms raised prepared to keep him and embrace him as they’ve never done before. He doesn’t feel that pull towards them but he does give them his forgiveness, for himself more than anyone else.

He stopped holding a grudge a while ago without even realizing it. How could he not, with the family he’s built? Bobby and Athena, Maddie and Chim and Jee, Hen and Karen and-

Buck does stop for Christopher. He feels lighter, suddenly, almost knocks himself off his feet when he sees that toothy grin directed up at him like sunshine itself. He kneels on the ground and Chris falls into his arms like Buck was made to hold him, like there was always an empty space carved out inside of him he didn’t understand until Eddie brought his kid into Buck’s life, gave him to Buck like the most precious gift, like-

Like Eddie’s own heart. Like a declaration of something Buck hadn’t been ready to hear.

“Can we go home now?” Chris asks against his sweater, and Buck hides his face in his little curls that somehow still smell like fruity shampoo, a detail not even the most powerful lightning was able to scratch from his mind.

Like the memory of Eddie’s go get them, cowboy. Like the fundamental premise that even after someone loses their memory after a coma, they don’t forget how to breathe. Buck woke up confused and dizzy and knowing Eddie has his back, always.

“Yeah,” his laugh is wet as he kisses Chris’ hair, the same hair strangers have confused for Buck’s genes in this smart, wonderful firecracker of a little boy. And yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course.

He helped make Connor and Kameron’s kid, but that baby isn’t his. This one, in his arms, that he didn’t meet until he was 11 is, and Buck knows it like he knows the sky is blue and dirt is brown and he’s coming home to Eddie and Christopher Diaz whether his subconscious wants him to or not.

“Come on, buddy, let’s go home,” he draws back to smile at his kid, wiping his tears with his shoulder. “Let’s go get your dad.”

Chris’ laugh is bubbly, and when Buck starts to run again, he doesn’t follow him. That’s okay, Buck thinks. That’s okay, I’m coming. I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming-

Daniel says all the right things. If Buck hadn’t learned what he was supposed to in here he might’ve caved. He might’ve believed him and stayed in a world where his job didn’t threaten his life and his parents loved him and his sister’s smile was always slightly off and he didn’t know any of his friends and the parents that stepped up, his partner and their kid.

But Buck knows. He does know, he doesn’t need to have a life-altering accident to know that any world without his family is not worth it. Not for anything in the world.

Buck breaks the glass, and he breathes.

He breathes, and breathes, and breathes.

________

finished the ep and realized I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF IN THIS HOUSE. hope you enjoyed!

read on ao3 / message me about commissions!

[capseycartwright]

11. mistletoe <3

Eddie should have known that the downfall of this whole fake-dating plan was going to be mistletoe. Its cliché – but cliché for a reason, he supposed. In every silly, cheesy Christmas movie about faking a relationship for the holidays, the two main characters ended up stuck underneath mistletoe, forced to kiss, so they didn’t blow their cover – and Eddie had been naïve enough to believe they could escape it, despite the station looking as though someone had vomited the decorative contents of the North Pole onto every available surface.

Listen – it had been a mutually beneficial thing, to pretend he and Buck were dating. The moms – and a few dads – of the kids who’d come by for the toy drive had been drooling, and while Eddie was usually completely oblivious to the attention, Buck was clearly more uncomfortable with it than usual, fresh off a breakup with Taylor. Taylor, who had come by the station to report on the annual LAFD toy drive.

Really, the universe was a vindictive bitch. The only thing that would make all of this nonsense worse, was if Ana were to walk through the door – and Eddie didn’t dare voice that thought out-loud, for fear that it might actually happen. You know, because the universe was a vindictive, snarky bitch who was out for blood.

“Hey, look!” Chimney declared, with a level of glee Eddie felt deserved a slap. “The lovebirds are stuck under the mistletoe.”

It was a credit to how much they loved Buck – or had disliked Taylor – that Chimney and Hen had gone along with Buck’s feeble excuse of being with Eddie, now, trying to excuse himself from a catch-up coffee with his ex-girlfriend, but they had been too enthusiastic about it, frankly. Hen had launched into a detailed story about their fake-first kiss, and Chimney had told a bare-faced, but quite convincing, lie about how Buck and Eddie had a family photoshoot planned for their first annual Buckley-Diaz Christmas card (“They’ve got matching Christmas sweaters,” Chimney said, committed to the lie in a genuinely impressive way. “It’s very cute.”)

Eddie swallowed, glancing above them. The bastard of a plant in question was dangling over their heads, and not for the first time that day, Eddie cursed the over-eager way that Bobby had approached station decorating that year. There was hardly a corner free of mistletoe, and it had made for an afternoon of ducking, and dodging, and trying not to get caught.

Except –

Except, it was the end of the day, and Eddie was a little giddy, from all the candy canes he’d snuck, and he was a lot giddy off the high of the crackling Christmas spirit that had invaded their station, and he’d forgotten to check for mistletoe before he’d sided up to his best friend, about to suggest they carry on their Christmassy day and bake sugar cookies with Christopher, when they got off shift.

“Sorry,” Eddie said sheepishly. “I forgot.”

Buck shook his head. “Chimney, don’t be stupid,” he gave Eddie a reassuring smile. “We’re not going to kiss for an audience.”

“Why not?” Taylor asked, one perfectly tamed eyebrow raised, and God – okay, yeah, Eddie was doing this. Eddie was a good best friend. Really, he was. He’d helped a drunk Buck into bed more than once, and he listened, carefully, to his best friends worries, and insecurities, and he liked spending time with him – and he was not about to let Buck get caught out in a silly lie he had told to save himself from the world’s most awkward latte run.

Rocking on his heels, Eddie leaned in, noting the look of surprise on Buck’s fake before he squeezed his eyes shut. It would be better, not to see, Eddie decided, and he leaned in a little further, and he kissed his best friend – in front of their colleagues, the rest of the 118 and their families, and a not insignificant number of strangers from the greater Los Angeles area.

It wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined their first kiss going – and Eddie, he’d imagined a lot of potential scenarios – but it was still a good kiss, Buck’s mouth warm, and pliable against his own. Buck wasn’t running away, or pulling back, which was a good thing, Eddie supposed. He let the kiss linger a little longer than strictly necessary – but if this was going to be the only time he ever got to kiss Evan Buckley, he was going to damn well enjoy it.

Buck was smiling, as Eddie pulled back, his eyes crinkling at the edges as the happy expression took over his face. “You taste like candy canes,” he mumbled, his cheeks flushed pink as he spoke, both of them unwilling to move away from each other – not yet, at least.

You taste like the rest of my life, was what Eddie wanted to say – but he restrained himself, for now, returning Buck’s bright grin. “You taste like hot chocolate.”

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