#bobby is buck's dad in every universe

[hippolotamus]

Seven Sentence Sunday 🥂

tagged by @weewootruck @eddiebabygirldiaz (definitely go check their snippets!)

Still in the rework phase. Please take this snippet of come close (let me be home) (prev snippets here) under the cut for the sake of your dash 😘

“I know it’s tough, kid. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you,” Bobby says, leading them through the crowd to a table near the back. “Athena won’t steer her wrong, though.” “I don’t doubt it, Lor- Bobby. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult, honestly. I want her to be happy, but–” “You want to keep her safe.”  “Exactly!” Evan accepts a champagne flute, noticing Bobby takes a lemonade for himself. “I guess I always felt like I had no say before, even though I knew Lord Kendall was a terrible choice. It’s difficult not to want to be more involved this time.” “That’s understandable. Commendable even.” Bobby pauses to take a sip of his drink before cryptically adding, “Sometimes no matter how much we try to protect the people we love, it’s never enough.”  Evan thinks there might be a story there, but doesn’t press for more information. He’s not going to ruin any trust being built by prying into his host’s past. He also tries not to think too hard about how true Bobby’s statement has been in his own life. Instead he shifts his focus back to where Maddie is talking with Athena, smiling at all the right times and looking like she’s genuinely enjoying herself. He walks with Bobby to rejoin their small group, handing a glass to Maddie.  “Anyone promising?” He asks, when suddenly a familiar face catches his eye across the room. It’s the man from the park, surrounded by a mob of enthusiastic socialites not so subtly shoving their dance cards at him.   “I know him,” Evan murmurs without thinking.  “Viscount Diaz?” Bobby questions.  Athena cuts in before Evan can answer. “I didn’t realize you had met. I know I certainly didn’t make the introduction. Bobby, did you?” “Not that I recall, my love.” “I, uh-” Evan gulps down the last of his champagne, feeling his cheeks flush. Apparently his etiquette has slipped his mind, causing him to forget how important it is that any introductions are made through Athena or Bobby. “I must be mistaken then.”  “He is handsome,” Maddie whispers, leaning in close.  “Y-yes, I suppose he is,” Evan mumbles, feeling his cheeks flush.  His sister’s observation isn’t wrong. Still, something about her acknowledging the obvious fact, coupled with the man – Viscount Diaz – being here at all doesn’t sit right under his skin.  “Your sister could do much worse than the Viscount,” Athena comments, looking quite pleased with herself. “He’s an honorable man with plenty of land and income. I daresay he would make an admirable choice. In fact, I’m not sure why I didn’t consider it before.”  “May I have this dance?” A gentleman – thankfully not the Marquis or the Viscount – approaches Maddie, extending his hand. He’s of average height and build with mousy brown hair and a forgettable face. As far as Evan can tell there is absolutely nothing noteworthy about him. Nevertheless, Maddie smiles and accepts his hand, letting him lead her to the floor as the music begins.

so many of you have recently posted so absolutely no pressure tagging @shortsighted-owl @stereopticons @elvensorceress @disasterbuckdiaz LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @vanillahigh00 @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @callmenewbie @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @steadfastsaturnsrings @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @fortheloveofbuddie @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life @buddierights @911onabc @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @gayedmundodiaz @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @maygrantgf @statueinthestone @indestructibleheart and anyone else who wants to share 💖

[hyperfixationships]

Some thoughts on a non-romantic relationship as I rewatch 9-1-1 and cry hysterically:

Bobby Nash lost his WHOLE family. Lost his kids and his wife and he never once forgave himself for it. But he took one look at Buck and it was like, "Oh, that one. It's him. That's my son." He took one look at Buck and saw him. He noticed Buck struggling, he noticed Buck pain and being lost. And he didn't know why, and he kept his distance because of his own kids, but he still took care of him. He still did everything in his power to keep him safe and fight for him even when Buck made it hard. And Buck did make it hard in a way, (not because he's hard to love, but because he's convinced he's expendable, he's convinced he doesn't matter, he's self-destructive and hard to keep safe) but despite it all, Bobby cares. He saw this sad, broken mess of a boy and they clicked right away. It was like it was meant to be, despite Buck not being from him he was meant to find Bobby and be his kid. In any lifetime and in any universe.

And Buck? He is self-destructive. He thinks his only worth is helping others, even if it's self-destructive and kills him. And who did that to him besides Margaret and Phillip? Who treated him like he was expendable, who only had him to save their other child and it failed. He was born to save others and it's all he can do now.

(Oh, you want to know why I'm in therapy? It's because I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment. You want to talk about our jobs? You think my job is dangerous? I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you! That is why I'm in therapy because nothing I ever did was good enough!

We tried but you always-you never made it easy on us! Either one of you!

We were supposed to? We were kids!

Evan, I don't know what you expected us to do!

Love me anyway)

Buck is self-destructive, and kind and will help anyone he can, even if he goes about it the wrong way. Buck has been made to feel small and useless if he's not saving others even if it kills him and Bobby sees that. Buck has the mentality of a teenager and will do anything and everything for attention. Who desperately wants to be loved and cared for, but no one ever stays. And Bobby? He stayed and he fought for him and he cares. Bobby sees a hurt kid who is so easy to love despite Bucks' flaws. Bobby notices the flaws and hurt but loves him anyway. Even if Bobby sometimes handles Buck's tendencies the wrong way. Buck gave up on a family a long time ago, but Bobby gives him one. He gives him the 118 and himself and Athena. Bobby sees this abandoned boy and thinks, "Yes, this one is mine." And Buck doesn't fully process that he will always have Bobby. (Even after the lawsuit. When Buck was convinced Bobby was abandoning him, Bobby was terrified of losing him. He was trying to protect his son.) Bobby gives him Hen, Chimney, Eddie, and Athena. He lets him into his home when it's the 118 and when Bobby moves in with Athena, Athena gives him a home. Athena knows Buck is theirs and gives him a place to go whenever he needs. Bobby and Athena see through him and love him anyway. They're hell-bent on showing him, "We see your flaws, we see how hurt and angry you are and we love you anyway." And Buck doesn't always know how to handle it. He thinks he's expendable, like he doesn't matter if he's not saving others. And Bobby? No matter how angry Buck makes him, he forgives him always. He loves him despite it all. Bobby who rushed to the hospital despite his frustration when he thought Buck was hurt. Bobby lets Buck control the pace of their relationship, Bobby who is patient loving and will always help his son when he can. Bobby is hard on Buck, because he cares. Bobby doesn't want to lose another kid. Bobby who makes Buck one of his lucky numbers.

(Mom brought two kids into this marriage, you brought one.)

Buck isn't used to being fought for, loved or cared for. And Bobby knows that. Bobby will always have a home for him and will always love him despite everything. And Bobby will always love him, and Buck is learning that. Buck is learning that Bobby loves him even when he's angry and lashing out. They'll always find their way back to each other because they're a parent and child. No matter how old Buck is. The whole 118 is Bobby's family, the first one since his died. But Buck? Buck is his son, and nothing can beat that. And everyone will always know that. And Buck? Buck helped teach Bobby to trusting open again. He taught him it's okay to have a family again. And Bobby needed that. Bobby saw a kid lost and adrift with a terrible family and wants to help, but feels so guilty. But Buck helps hold and support him when Bobby relapses but sees a dad in him anyways. And Bobby needed him just as much as Buck needed Bobby. They needed each other. They found a family in each other and found it.

[theamazingannie]

I know they’re not just gonna drop the fertility plotline but I was so hoping once everyone found out they would talk Buck out of it

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

[film-in-my-soul]

Cannon divergence- Buck/Eddie??

I hope you liked this one!

.⋆｡°✩ Eddie becomes a paramedic instead of a firefighter but his and Buck's paths still cross. ✩°｡⋆.

The worst part, Buck thinks, laying on the sidewalk struggling to breathe, is that he's not even on the clock. At least when the universe decides to hand him his ass on a silver platter, he's getting paid for it (if he ignores Abby, and Taylor, and Ali...). Still, it could be worse; Bobby can't get mad at him for getting sideswiped by a car pulling a kid out of the road.

Side on fire and wind still knocked out of him, Buck makes the choice to stay on his back. It's a decision based upon years of training and the fact he thinks he'll lose his breakfast if he tires getting upright. The people in his periphery are making a scene, calling for help, but none of them are actively checking on him, and he's too focused on breathing to hear what they're saying or care. 

Just when Buck thinks of closing his eyes and passing out until an ambulance arrives, a small hand lands clumsily on his non-screaming shoulder, and his attention is forced to shift, eyes sliding unbidden to the side.

A tear-stained face, messy honey-brown curls, skewed glasses. It's the kid Buck had seen tipping sideways into the busy street, his crutches catching in a half-hidden crack in the pavement, sending him topping over. Buck does his best to smile around his grimace.

"Hey buddy," he hopes there's no blood on his teeth. He hopes he's not bleeding at all.

"I'm sorry," the kid says, light eyes wet and redrimmed, his bottom lip trembling hard. He's patting Buck like a cat that needs to be soothed. It twists up Buck's heart, and he wishes he could sit up to comfort him, show that, really, this isn't the worst he's been put through the wringer, but he can't. Buck does try to shrug, though, and bolstered by the need to not be the reason the boy cries even harder, he manages a better grin.

"Hey, don't be. It's not your fault-"

"Chris!" Much louder than the crowd still hanging around the edges, a voice breaks over the murmurs, and Buck feels the kid's (Chris's, he's sure) hand squeeze him hard.

"Daddy!" Chris calls back, and Buck watches from his position on the ground as, at first, a shadow falls over both him and the boy, and then a man comes into view, kneeling over Buck, but whose every bit of focus is on Chris.

"Christ, Mijo, what the hel- what happened?"

"Dad, you gotta help him. He got hurt pulling me away from the car. You gotta-"

They're talking over each other, and Buck feels as in the middle as he is, but the awkwardness is quickly swiped away when Chris's father tips his head down, blocking out the midday sun, and Buck is hit full force by how beautiful the man is. Soft brown eyes edged with the tease of crow's feet and smile lines, thick dark brows to match his swept-back hair, and the promise of stubble at the edge of his jaw. Buck is struck with an immediate attraction so powerful it rivals the impact from the Tesla that he's pretty sure sped away from the scene.

"-ir, sir, can you hear me?"

Buck blinks back into the moment, nods, and immediately regrets it.

"Oh shit, don't do that, okay, you need to keep yourself still until the paramedics arrive."

"No, I-" Buck swallows, trying to clear his suddenly tight through, "I know. Firefighter." He'd point to himself, but Chris is still clinging to his undamaged arm, and the idea of shifting just to make it clear he's not delirious is both daunting and directly in opposition to his claim of knowing better.

The man smiles, and it's devastating how it brightens every corner of his face.

"Good to know. Someone's called 9-1-1, so I'm going to make sure you're alright until the ambulance gets here. I'm a paramedic." He tacks on the last bit like an afterthought, like he should make it clear that the gently probing hand suddenly on Buck's flank isn't for nefarious purposes.

"You sure you're not an angel?" It slips out, easy like breathing still isn't, and Buck can't find it in himself to be cowed at having said it.

The man, whose gaze had slid down to watch as his fingers worked, snaps his eyes back to Buck's face, expression wide with surprise, and Buck hears a soft giggle from Chris.

"Uh, no," he says, a satisfying splash of color coming onto his cheeks, "Just Eddie the paramedic."

Eddie. It fits. Buck likes it. He also likes how Eddie's clearly trying to tuck his bashful smile away and get back to the task of ensuring that Buck isn't bleeding internally.

"Coulda fooled me," Buck can't help himself, rewarded again by Chris's laughter, finally done with crying, it seems, and Eddie's soft chuckle and headshake. He flusters easily, and Buck can't help imagining pushing his luck just to see how much he can get the rosy color to spread over his tan complexion.

He doesn't get the chance, and before Eddie can reply, the sound of the ambulance is there, and then two paramedics descend upon them, one going to squat beside Eddie.

"Diaz, thought you were off duty today."

Eddie rolls his eyes, and Buck wants to comment that, really, are civil servants ever off duty? But then the other paramedic waves a penlight in his eyes and starts asking him questions, carefully dislodging Chris from his place by Buck's shoulder so she can get a collar around Buck's neck.

When they leave and return with the stretcher, Eddie helps load Buck on, and Chris fists his hand in Buck's shirt when they try to wheel him toward the flashing vehicle.

"Chris, we have to let them take Buck to the hospital," Eddie says, coming around to his son's side. Buck smiles, something twinging in his chest that has nothing to do with being jostled forward. He opens his mouth to assure Chris he'll be okay, that as long as Chris is fine, it's all good, but Chris beats him to it as he turns his face up to his father and asks, "But can't we go with him?"

The request floors Buck, and it seems to leave Eddie equally stumped. Chris uses the opportunity to continue.

"It's my fault he's hurt. I want to make sure he gets to the hospital okay."

Something flashes in Eddie's eyes, something that implies a story underlining Chris's words. If he could, Buck would wheel himself into the ambulance and away from what probably needs to be a private conversation. He can't, though, so he sits silent, trying to communicate to Eddie with his eyes that, really, they've already done enough, Chris with his getting Buck's help and Eddie putting up Buck's brazen flirting.

The female paramedic at the head of the stretcher, amused and unhelpfully, adds, "We've got the room."

Between that and Chris's blatantly pleading pout, Buck watches Eddie sigh and momentarily hang his head before he looks back to Buck, smiling small and crooked.

"Only if you don't mind the company. It would... it would mean a lot to him."

Buck wonders if he plays his cards right; he might be able to get that 'him' to become 'us.' He smiles.

"The more the merrier."

Ficlet Bingo! (Still Squares Left!)

[try-set-me-on-fire]

maybe fall in love

rating: G | words: 1,802

Morale is flagging here at the ass end of a 24 hour shift where they'd been bounced all around the city for a never ending stream of calls. The first week of summer is always like this, every kid in the district flooding out of the confines of the classroom and stretching their wings in the form of minor traffic accidents and what Eddie's heard Athena refer to as "stupidity induced injury." It's not just the kids either, the frantic energy spreading to even the oldest citizens. They'd had to confiscate illegal fireworks from a retirement home some uncountable amount of hours ago, Bobby doing his best stern dad lecture at a man 30 years his senior. Nothing's been too drastic, no death or mass destruction, but it's three AM and they're at their fourth block party fight mop up in a row and even Hen and Chim are snapping at each other and Eddie can actually see Bobby thinking through damage control.

"Buckley, Diaz."

Buck and Eddie are loading gear back into the truck, still sweating in the dead of night because the June gloom settled thick over the city has just trapped the heat in, turning the air into an oppressive muggy sludge. Eddie doesn't have the energy to respond, just turns generally in Bobby's direction. Buck, behind him, leans against the engine.

Bobby sighs, fishing around in his pockets to pull cash from his wallet and press it into Eddie's hands. He nods over at a couple of food trucks down the street that still, somehow, have lines. "Get food. Anything."

So Buck and Eddie shuffle down the road, more distance between them than usual, the normally comforting brush of shoulders suddenly an unpleasantly sticky concept. The options are bougie cheeseburgers with lobster or kimchi or peanut butter and jelly piled on them, or a fried chicken truck with an obnoxiously flashing neon sign on the roof. Buck raises an eyebrow in a question and Eddie shrugs, and they get in line for chicken.

Buck stands with his hands in his pockets and Eddie feels his palms sweat just looking at him. He's holding his arms slightly away from his torso, begging from the universe a breeze, trying to escape his own body heat. The neon flashes red and that makes Eddie feel hot too, the burning color of fire washing over Buck's features, swallowing his birthmark whole. It makes his face look strange, young and unfamiliar, and Eddie doesn't realize how intently he's studying him until Buck makes surprised eye contact. He raises an eyebrow, Eddie shakes his head with dead-exhausted eyes, Buck nods and stares back out at the street.

"How're Peppa's dates going?"

Eddie barely resists groaning at the question. Bad, is how they're going, and Buck knows that because Eddie calls him after each one to complain about it. He hasn't hit it off with a single one of the women his tia keeps plucking out of her mysterious bottomless pit of single young hopefuls, because he doesn't like their job or their interests or their laugh or the way their hand feels on his arm. Manicured nails, soft skin. Buck's head tilts lazily to the side, a little grin pulling up one side of his mouth, and the sound of the neon feels like it's buzzing around the inside of Eddie's skull.

read the rest on ao3

[les-pompiers118]

What a cruel thing to pretend

1000 words | rated Teen | Hen & Buck

A 1x03 coda ficlet for @911hiatus's prompt, "cruelty." Song title from Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple.

“I didn’t even know Chimney was going to propose,” Buck says, just to break the silence that’s been hanging over the table for too long.

Hen hums into her coffee cup in acknowledgement, but her eyes stay fixed on some point across the cafeteria. Her sandwich sits abandoned in its plastic clamshell with only a couple bites taken out of it. Buck scarfed down his own in about ten seconds flat and he’s thinking about getting back in line for another. But he shouldn’t abandon Hen, not when she still looks so wrung out.

Chimney’s out of his coma, which should be cause for celebration, Buck thinks. He’s choosing to be optimistic—inside his head anyway, because every time he says it out loud, Bobby and Hen feel the need to lecture him about long recovery timelines and the complicated nature of traumatic brain injuries. Hey, it won’t hurt to put some good vibes out into the universe, Buck figures. And besides, Chim seems like the kind of guy who never lets anything keep him down for long.

Hen slides her sandwich across the table with a loud sigh. “Go ahead. You’ve been staring at it for five minutes.”

Buck protests, but accepts it anyway. Ham and cheese. There’s a pile of baby spinach under the top half of the mushy croissant, which he picks off before taking a deliberately big bite. Hen shakes her head at him with a hint of a smile, which Buck returns. That’s better.

“So his family’s all in Korea?” he asks.

“Yeah, his dad and his stepmom,” Hen replies, fiddling with her empty cup. “His mom passed away a long time ago.”

“Do you think they’ll come to see him?”

Hen shakes her head again. “It’s not a good relationship.”

“I get that,” Buck says thoughtfully, then grins. “Hey, if I ever get hurt, do not call my parents, okay? Even if I’m on death’s door with my guts hanging out and only five drops of blood left in my body. Just don’t.”

Hen frowns, even though he tried to say it in a joking kind of way. She looks like she’s about to ask questions—ones that Buck definitely doesn’t want to answer—so he crams the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Her frown turns into a grimace of disgust.

“We’re in public, you know,” she chastises him.

“So? I’m sure they’ve seen hungry firefighters here before,” Buck says through his half-chewed mouthful. “Should we bring something back for Bobby?”

“Just coffee, he said.”

Buck piles their trash onto the plastic tray and pictures Bobby sitting alone in the ICU waiting area. Three rows of empty chairs and a TV with a cable news network on mute in the corner. “Tatiana’s really not coming, is she?”

“I don’t believe so,” Hen says tightly.

“Geez. There’s his answer, I guess.”

“Yup.”

“Ouch. Maybe he should have given that decision a little more thought.” Buck notices the disapproval in Hen’s face, and it’s not directed at him for once. “He didn’t tell you he was gonna ask her, did he?”

“Nope.”

Buck huffs. “I thought you guys told each other everything.”

“So did I, Buck. So did I,” Hen sighs. “They’ve been dating less than a year. I don’t know what got into his head.”

“He was afraid she would leave him,” Buck finds himself saying with sudden certainty. “It was a Hail Mary.”

“He tell you that?” Hen demands.

“No, but it makes sense, doesn’t it? He hardly ever mentioned her except to say he didn’t understand why she was dating him. I mean, besides the firefighter kink. It’s kind of like he knew, deep down, that she wasn’t in love with him.”

Hen’s eyebrows shoot up. “That is surprisingly perceptive, Firehose.”

“Okay, okay,” Buck says, holding up his hands. “You know I’m not doing that anymore. As a matter of fact, I got asked out on a date last week—an actual date—and I said no.”

“Did you now?” Hen looks totally unimpressed. She wrinkles up her nose and asks, with feigned sympathy, “Was she not hot enough, Buckaroo?”

“No, I have no idea what she looks like! We’ve only talked on the phone a few times, and she’s really nice. I just—”

“Don’t know if you want to date her?” Hen finishes for him.

Buck shrugs. He doesn’t want to repeat the excuses he gave Abby, because he has a feeling Hen will never, ever let him live it down if she hears him describe himself as irresistible. Truthfully, he’s not even sure he knows how to start a serious relationship, much less sustain one. Confidence and decent looks can only get a guy so far—no further than a quick fuck in a fire engine, it turns out.

Let’s not ruin everything by actually getting to know each other. It felt like a small, casual cruelty at the time, but now Buck thinks it was probably for the best that she didn’t give him her number. How messed up is he, gorging himself on meaningless sex? Chimney and Tatiana’s sudden nosedive doesn’t exactly make Buck eager to give it a go, either. Almost a year wasted trying to hold onto a woman who was probably never in love with him. Who wants that?

“You know, I think I’m steering clear of women altogether for a while,” Buck says, at last, then changes the subject. “So, how long have you been married?”

“Six years and counting,” Hen answers.

“Happily ever after?”

She chuckles. “That’s not a thing in real life, Buck. There are always bumps in the road, sometimes right from the first date. Big, big bumps. That doesn’t mean it won’t work out, though.”

“Right from the first date, huh? That sounds like a story,” Buck says with an expectant grin.

“Oh, it is. Come on.” She waves her hand at the tray on the table as she stands up. “You take care of that. I’ll grab some coffee for Cap. And then I’ll tell you on the way back to the ICU.”

“Have you told Chim the story already?”

“Chimney is the story, at least for our first date. Actually,” Hen laughs, “he’s more like the punchline.”

Buck laughs, too. “That’s Chimney for you.”

“It certainly is,” Hen agrees.

[canonicallyobserving911]

undefined

Buck & Eddie: Is Buck the biological father of C&K’s baby?

Full disclosure: After 6x9 “Red Flag” aired, other than to reference it in my blog posts that included a related topic and in one or two of my fanfics, I stopped posting about Buck’s sperm donation mainly because I didn’t like it in 6A and I still don’t.  But while I was creating GIFs for a post about Bobby, Buck and Chris, I noticed all the pregnant women in the scene I included at the beginning of the video (GIF below of the scene) and my curiosity was peaked.  I had questions and I wanted answers, so I analyzed the scene until I could figure out what the show may have been trying to tell the audience. After breaking the scene into three sections, I thought about Buck’s sperm donation along with all the mishaps he experienced every time he went to donate.  Then I considered his parents INITIAL reaction to it in 6x10 “In a Flash” and I think I may have finally figured it out.  Therefore, this is a speculation post based on the metaphors included in that scene.

In 6x11 “In Another Life”, while Buck was in his coma, he spent the majority of his time trying to fix several things before he ran out of time.  Eddie told him in 5x4 “Home and Away” he’s the guy who always likes to fix things and Bobby told him in 6x11 he was surprised Buck wanted to leave a place where he could fix everything to which Buck responded, “Not everything”.

The entire episode was filled with metaphors, foreshadowing and callbacks but there were two main themes included in it that related to Buck’s arc, family and fatherhood.  In his coma dream, he was trying to find answers to figure out which of his family members he needed to help so that he could return to his real life to fix it.  Even though he said he wanted to go back for himself, based on his response to Bobby about not being able to fix everything while he was in his dream, it appears he left his coma dream thinking he couldn’t fix the fact that he’s not a biological father to any children.

Buck is still MISUNDERSTANDING THE ASSIGNMENT since he is already a dad to Chris and he’s been co-parenting him with Eddie for five years.  Chris looks like Buck; they have the same hair color blonde/brown and type curly and they have the same eye color, blue. If someone didn’t know Eddie, Buck and Chris, it would be easy for them to assume Buck is Chris’ biological father the same way someone could assume Bobby is Buck’s biological father since they look so much alike. In Buck’s mind, he thinks he has to have children of his own to be a dad but that is so far from the truth especially since he’s been a parent for years.

Since Buck hasn’t realized he’s already a father, it’s likely he will need someone to tell him that he is the same way May told Bobby he’s Buck’s dad.

There appears to have been a lot of foreshadowing with regards to Buck’s sperm donation included in 6x11 but before each section is analyzed, there are two important things to remember. First, Buck donated his sperm in 6x7 “Cursed” and the episode title alone includes foreshadowing about his donation, i.e., IT’S CURSED.  The universe kept screaming at him every time he tried to make his sperm donation but he WOULDN’T LISTEN.  Second, in 6x10 “In a Flash” the Buckley parents were acting weirder than usual and it seemed like they were acting out of character especially with the way they changed their demeanors after Margaret saw the picture of the sonogram over Buck’s shoulder.  Additionally, it kind of seemed like they were hiding something from him about his own conception that may have something to do with his ability to have biological kids of his own.  Hence Margaret’s response to him of “You were a miracle baby...” which was even weirder especially since she never treated him like he was a miracle when he was growing up.  Buck told Bobby and Eddie while they were riding to the McArthur Park Apartments that his parents thought his decision to be a sperm donor was idiotic.

It appears Buck’s sperm donation is CURSED; his parents think his decision to donate was IDIOTIC and it seems like they could be HIDING SOMETHING from him about the way he was conceived to save Daniel.

Reminder, the episode was supposed to be “trippy and filled with mind puzzles”, and even though it was, most of the puzzles included in it required viewers to do several rewatches to determine what they meant.  The GIF above includes the first scene where there was a set of nurses and a set of orderlies who were dressed exactly alike and they also wore identical hairstyles.  At first glance, they appear to be twins but since their faces weren’t shown up close, it’s too difficult to tell.  The male orderlies dressed in the tan scrubs appeared several more times throughout Buck’s coma dream and it’s possible they represented something significant with regards to Buck’s sperm donation.

When Buck saw Bobby and he ran away from Hen and Chimney, he ran past the same two orderlies.

After Athena sent Bobby out of Buck’s hospital room, she walked over to his bedside and started talking to him.  She said, “That man has lost two children and he cannot survive losing you.  So, WAKE UP DAMN IT! Wake up.”  Buck responded to her from inside of his coma dream and said, “Uh, yeah, I’m trying. I just need to figure out what to fix to get back”.

When he responded to her, he walked past two men, a Caucasian and an African American, who were sitting in the waiting area next to the windows and there were two empty chairs between them.

Right when Buck and Bobby walked past the two men, the two male orderlies from earlier in the episode were standing still in front of two glass doors. They didn’t start walking until Buck and Bobby walked past them and just like they did earlier, they walked away together.

When Buck said, “I just need to figure out what I need to fix to get back”, he walked past four pregnant women.  All of them looked like they were in labor and were about to give birth at any moment.

Speculation

It appears the two men sitting in the waiting area were there to represent Buck and Connor.  Since there were two empty chairs between them, they were NOT sitting right next to each other and those empty chairs could represent the number of days between the last time Connor and Kameron had relations and Kameron’s IVF treatment. Why is this important?  Well, according to several fertility websites, a woman who has “unprotected relations” can have a spontaneous conception from sperm that could have survived within her reproductive system for several days.  Connor is not sterile, he said he has a low sperm count which means some of his little swimmers still work.

The two orderlies that were constantly walking past Buck throughout his coma dream appear to have represented both Buck’s and Connor’s swimmers since every time they were shown, they were walking right beside each other which could represent how Kameron may have been pregnant when she got her IVF treatment done but it wasn’t caught by the doctor because it had only been a couple of days.  Reminder, Kameron got pregnant really fast since Buck donated in 6x7 and he got the call from Connor that she was pregnant in 6x9.

The four pregnant women who were in labor, appeared to represent the reveal of the possibility that Buck may not be the biological father of Connor and Kameron’s baby but it wouldn’t be determined until after she gives birth.  Depending on the time jump that occurred during the hiatus after November 2022, she may be ready to deliver sometime before the end of season 6.  After she gives birth, the biological father will be revealed.

If the Buckley parents know something about Buck’s inability to conceive children, it would explain why they were shocked when Buck said he helped his friends conceive. Reminder, they didn’t change their response about his decision and say he was a miracle baby until after Mr. Han spoke up and said something to them about it.  Is it possible there’s another Buckley family secret that has yet to be revealed👀👀?

Alternative Speculation

It’s possible the two orderlies could represent Kameron being pregnant with twins but if that is the case then it doesn’t support the narrative the show has been pushing all season long.  Buck’s supposed to learn and grow after he realizes being a child’s father doesn’t require biology.  Therefore, if Kameron is pregnant with twins from the possibility of a dual conception with both Buck’s and Connor’s sperm and one of the babies is Buck’s biological child and the other one is Connor’s and they decide to give Buck the baby that’s biologically his, then how will he learn that him being Buck is enough?  He won’t because he’ll keep trying to fix things for everyone else just like he did in his coma dream instead of him focusing on the real issue which is Buck thinking he’s enough for Buck not for everyone else.

Summary

Buck left his coma dream still thinking he couldn’t fix having kids of his own but he already has a child and his name is Christopher Diaz.  It appears one of Buck’s issues with accepting the fact that he is Chris’ second dad and not just his legal guardian if Eddie’s dies, involves the need for someone to tell him he’s Chris’ dad so that he will believe it.  That’s what happened with Bobby because it’s apparent he’s known he is Buck’s found dad for six years but him hearing May say it made it real for him.

One of the things Buck NEEDED to FIX is the fact that he’s already a DAD!  Athena said Bobby couldn’t survive losing Buck well Chris and Eddie wouldn’t survive losing Buck either and that was evident when Eddie couldn’t even look at Buck when he was in his hospital room.  Also, when Chris asked Buck to help him find his dad while he was still in his coma, it seems like Chris may have been asking Buck to find himself since he’s Chris’ other dad.

Bobby’s and Buck’s lives parallel a lot especially when it comes to fatherhood and for the entirety of season 6, the theme has been about FAMILY and FATHERHOOD along with whether a child needs their biological, found or their own family to feel love and support.  Buck has been co-parenting Chris with Eddie for years and they’ve built the family they have together.

The video includes several scenes of Buck and Chris that illustrate the way he’s already a dad and the scene from 6x11 of him looking at the Ferris Wheel while he was in his coma dream includes Chris screaming for him while they were in the Tsunami (the scene was added to the end of the Tsunami clip to illustrate how Buck heard Chris calling for him during his coma dream).

Is Buck the biological father of Connor and Kameron’s baby?  If the speculation for the scene with the two men, the orderlies and the pregnant women is correct... the answer to that question is NO!  Can the narrative change, ABSOLUTELY!  Also, it appears the sperm donation storyline changed a lot after 6A so it remains to be seen what the outcome will be but Connor already reappeared in 6x12 “Recovery” and he didn’t have the chance to tell Buck why he stopped by since Josh knocked on the door.  Kameron is “supposed” to return sometime in the future and so is Connor, therefore it’s unclear what the outcome will be.

Will Buck find out before the end of season 6 if he’s the biological father of their baby?  Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[made-ofmemories]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @jesuiscenseedormir

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

153,084

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively writing for 9-1-1 at the moment. Have written for many others in the past.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

All of these are 911 + Buddie or background Buddie

You can feel it on the way home (You are in love) || words: 23k || T || Buck moves in with Eddie after the loft is destroyed

I built a home (for you, for me) || words: 6k || T || Eddie shows up to work wearing one of Buck's shirts. Assumptions are made and revelations are had.

Just go with it || words: 9k || T || the 5 times someone thinks Buck is Chris' dad + the 1 time it's official

What's up with A shift || words: 3k || T || A shift knows no peace. B shift live in fear of the day they have to cover for them.

Feels like home || words: 1.5k || G || In which Buck stays for dinner, Eddie decides to be brave, and Chris just wants to do his homework in peace.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm allergic to sad endings so I don't really have any, but I'd probably say Eddie is in the room, just because of the nature of that fic but it still has a somewhat happy hopeful ending it's just closer to angst than anything else I've written

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I'd probably say Just go with it, because the entire last segment of that one is very domestic bliss kinda vibes

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't so far

9. Do you write smut?

No, I'm not against it I just prefer writing other things and haven't written a fic where it felt necessary

10. Craziest crossover?

Marvel, The Walking Dead and Supernatural for a crack fic exchange I used to do with my friends every Christmas

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once years ago but by the time I was alerted, it had been dealt with

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'm open to it

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

Yeah I write with @ladydorian05 all the time!

14. All time favorite ship?

Favorite at the moment is Buddie but I don't know what my favorite of all time is, it changes too much

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will

I have a tendency to go back to stuff after months of ignoring it so I'm never really sure. I also have a lot of stuff I know I won't finish but don't really want to right now either I'd say the one I'm having the most trouble with right now is a 5+1 of the 5 times the 118 bet on Buck and Eddie getting together + the 1 time someone wins the bet just because I feel like there's lots of ways for it to go wrong and I keep overthinking it. I also have a fic about Buck, Bobby and Chris at the zoo that I'd love to finish but I never have any ideas to flesh it out with so I never write it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fluff. Probably fluff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue, correct punctuation and I also tend to be very overdramatic and cheesy especially if I'm writing angst

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language

Love it but I try to avoid it unless I'm working with someone who is fluent in said language

19. First fandom you wrote for

Supernatural probably but I don't remember exactly

20. Favorite fic you've written

An unlikely friend from the Eddie Diaz and the Universal Cat Distribution system series It was purely self indulgent and I really had a lot of fun writing it, I also enjoyed the process of trying to write something that took place alongside canon for the majority of the time

Tagging: @loveyouanyway @nmcggg @ladydorian05 @inell @agirllovespancakes

[wellcollapse]

hypothetical Eddie coming out first sandbox. Buck is still acting insane because of that behaviour was about Eddie and not anyone else, but Eddie doesn't really see it like that because that's just Buck, and Eddie knows Buck's Issues and he gets it, that he's going to have to be a bit reassuring to get it through Buck's head again because he gets a little dense.

Anyway. It's a little like canon where he's being wooed and being taken to fights and vegas etc. maybe this guy clocks Buck's behaviour and makes a comment that he's not sure he could ever still be that close with an ex--Eddie doesn't really catch it, not until later, after the guy finally makes a move and tries to kiss him, because then Eddie's laid awake at night turning it over in his head and reexamining every single interaction they had. He realises he's basically been dating this guy, thinks back to how he'd described Chris' date "like when he hangs out with his guy friends". He maybe panics and then represses that panic. Breaks up with Marisol the next day--feels like a hypocrite for lecturing Chris earlier on. He's stopped talking to the guy, but he instead spends the better part of a week analysing everything and living in his head trying to figure it all out. Buck clocks that something's wrong, presses to make sure he's okay. Eddie blurts out that he thinks he's queer, because Buck has always been able to get him to spill his guts with just a look.

Eventually he starts talking about it with others, maybe at a dispatch catch-up or something he ends up talking to May and she talks about Michael and how now she's got Bobby and David in her life. Reassures him that it won't end Chris' world. Eddie sort of realises how he feels about Buck then, but maybe not fully--because he can't picture anyone else but Buck as a bonus dad like Bobby or David for Chris

all of this!!!! i definitely agree that tommy would still clock buck and eddie’s dynamic in this universe LMAO and i love the idea of tommy’s observation completely going over eddie’s head bc he thinks that what he has with buck is just Normal Boybestie Behavior™️

and i’m obsessed with your eddie-may conversation!!! i’ve read a lot of fic where eddie talks to michael but honestly i think this would be even more healing for eddie because imo he’d be much comfortable talking to her than a relative stranger (dispatch eddiemay i miss you…) AND he’d benefit from hearing the perspective of the child in a situation like this. 10/10 no notes!!!!!

[beforeastorm]

Awake, Arise, or be Forever Fallen

Awake, Arise, or be Forever Fallen by Beforeastorm

Buddie | Teen and Up | Complete

65,996 words

now complete!

Characters: Evan Buckley; Eddie Diaz; Hen Wilson; Chimney Han; Bobby Nash; Athena Grant; Maddie Buckley; Pepa Diaz; Taylor Kelly; Carla Price; Christopher Diaz; Margaret Buckley; Phillip Buckley; Marcy Nash; Robert Nash Jr.; Brook Nash; Doug Kendall; Shannon Diaz. Tags: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence; Canon-Typical Violence; Minor Character Death; Light Angst; Whump; Additional Warnings in Author's Note; Getting Together; Kidnapping; Adopted Evan "Buck" Buckley; Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent; Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure; Firehouse 118 Crew as Family; Eventual Fluff; Past Child Abuse; Family Secrets; Non-consensual drug use; Doug Kendall is his own warning; eventual happy ending

Summary:

Robbie “Buck” Nash Jr. is living the life. He’s a firefighter working under his dad, he loves his life in LA, and there’s something brewing between him and the hot new firefighter. Plus, his dad and Chimney are having whirlwind romances of their own. It’s all great, except… he’s still living in his ex(?) girlfriend’s apartment, the new firefighter’s wife is dragging her heels on their divorce, and oh, his dad may be lying about everything that happened twenty-two years ago which led to Buck’s adoption.

It seems like every week, their firehouse is responding to yet another kidnapping, and the feeling that his dad is keeping secrets grows. From missing documents to laced brownies to nosy reporters and even little black books, the evidence mounts and finally forces Buck to decide: pull on the thread and make his whole world unravel, or continue to stitch everything back together and give up ever knowing the truth.

Buck pulls on the thread

[the-amber-raven]

Oohh I've always been fond of fics where Chris picks up some habits from Buck! Aside from the jackets, what other habits/headcanons you have for them that wasn't included in the fics?

This was a surprisingly difficult one to answer, since thanks to the (asides) I use in this series and the flashbacks in I once was lost, I've actually been able to include a lot of them!

(Also, I didn't say the hoodies tidbit wasn't going to be in the fic ;) Just sayin')

I've been trying to think of the ones I struggled to shoe-horn in though, so here's a selection:

Bobby had a Reputation at all of Buck's schools. After his first parent teacher interview at their school in LA, he organised a meeting with the principal. She attempted to fob him off to someone else but he insisted it had to be her. So she diligently collected information from all of his teachers and went to this meeting prepared to discuss what she was sure would be his concerns about his son potentially having ADHD. She had a list of psychologists to refer him to and everything! And then he hands over a folder and starts explaining to her very seriously that the school is barely meeting fire safety requirements and here is a list of all the things she should do to improve their adherence to code and ensure student safety. She passes this information on to Evan's next school, which has a very frantic principal running around quadruple-checking fire safety standards before the first day of school.

Related to the above - Buck is diagnosed with ADHD in this universe, although he never ends up taking medication for it. Bobby is more concerned with making sure Buck is taught in a way that works for him (see "Mr Stugley said that I need explicit instructions" in oh captain my captain) and he has no patience for teachers who just tell him to get his son medicated. The revolving door of sports is also to help Buck manage his need to keep moving and stay active.

One of the first gifts Evan ever got for Bobby was a horrendously ugly mug. Bobby did not care about how ugly it was and used it anyway. Buck got in the habit of giving increasingly tacky mugs, a part of him morbidly curious about where his dad would draw the line. Bobby is suspicious that his motivation is to test him (as is Athena when he starts doing the same thing for her) but actually he doesn't really care because he is that much of a Dad that he will happily use a #1 Dad mug no matter what it looks like. This was actually really close to being in the story, so have this little snippet I wrote: Bobby had wondered sometimes if Evan was subconsciously testing them to see if they would still be willing to use the gifts when they were so over-the-top. Ultimately, though, it didn’t really matter because he had loved every one of them purely because they were from his kid and had taken great joy in using them. 

Lily (the paramedic in Minnesota who treated Evan after the fire) holds a grudge against Bobby for counseling her to stop getting involved when he then subsequently GOT INVOLVED AND ADOPTED THE KID. She gets her revenge by teaching Evan about just how much of a pushover his new dad is and she is the main reason that baby!Evan knows exactly how to soften Bobby up.

Eddie was pretty happy with how things ended in that last chapter of the mortifying ordeal: sure, Hen and Chimney teased him relentlessly about the miscommunication but they actually seem pretty happy to hear he's dating the captain's baby. And then it's Buck's first day at the station and he is suddenly reminded that Evan is in fact the station's baby and he realises he shouldn't be so complacent just yet. There are many, many speeches involved.

Christopher has found their silken ropes in their bedroom once, after they forgot to put them away properly ("it was a long shift and we had a tiny window of alone time, okay, it was a totally normal mistake!" Eddie insisted to a cackling Hen later.) Buck spun a very elaborate story about how someone at the station had gotten a new cat and he had read about DIY cat toys you could make with rope and so he wanted to give it a try but he was just soooo tired that he'd given up and fallen asleep. Chris very kindly offers to to help instead since clearly they can't let the poor kitten not have any toys! The crew laugh when Buck bemoans the loss of the ropes. ("They were expensive!" he mourns, getting laughter from the crew. "And they were so good because they never left any visible marks!" Bobby is visibly traumatised by the conversation.)

Evan got so used to Bobby's cooking that he forgot that there are people who aren't as good at cooking. The first time the 118 have to look after Evan for an extended period of time (because Bobby is in the hospital, badly injured but not on his deathbed, which creates plenty of heightened emotions) Chimney burns their dinner, Sal makes something ridiculously bland, and Tommy uses a store-bought spaghetti sauce. Evan is very judgmental. (Hen and Karen do fine, of course.) Bobby feels very vindicated when he gets to go home and gets a cuddle from Evan alongside a speech about how much he missed his cooking.

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Buddie 611 Meta - The Sun & The World

*aka the cosmos/universe theme strikes again*

Buck has been accused of being self-centered several times in the show, especially in past season. Basically every main character at one point or another has made this claim about him. That criticism became lodged in Buck’s mind over the years. How could it not?! The people around him saw his attention-loving daredevil behavior among other things as self-centered (affectionate, because “Buck’s gonna Buck”). With Eddie, we saw him make this claim to Buck specifically about their relationship and the strain it caused several times during the lawsuit arc in s3. I think through the previous seasons, Eddie was the most vocal with this criticism and was pretty much the only one to ground this criticism in his PERSONAL relationship with Buck.

In 305 Rage, the infamous grocery store argument:

Buck: Look, man, why can’t you see my side of this?

Eddie: ‘Cause that’s all you see!

And in 306 Monsters during their reconciliation at the firehouse:

Eddie: Lotta “I”s in there. Your actions, your choices, they impact the rest of us. That’s what it means to be part of a team.

And in 309 Fallout during THE Kitchen Scene:

Eddie: Seriously? You’re gonna make it about you, again?

Basically, Buck took that past criticism to heart, like you do when you care about the people around you and you care about what they think of you to a healthy degree. That brain weasel surfaces in an interesting way in 611 via the coma dream. 

But that old criticism takes on a different flavor in coma land, because the dialogue in the episode evokes the idea of a planet circling its star, which lifts it out of the realm of just Buck’s ego and places it firmly in the Cosmos/Universe symbolism that’s so interwoven with the Buckley Diaz Family!

In 611, Buck is talking to Hen and Chim about Bobby and then Buck’s mind takes and interesting turn:

Buck: My not being at the 118 is what pushed him over the edge.

Hen: Or maybe it was just some random butterfly effect and the entire world doesn’t revolve around you.

Buck: Eddie Diaz.

Hen is Buck’s “reality” check. In the coma dream, as an echo of Buck’s own thought process, she tries to humble him. But somewhere in Buck’s mind he also knows that he is deeply loved and that he matters. The whole episode was about him starting to consciously realize and accept that fact so that he could return to his real life and thrive. He’s working to replace his bravado (ultimately a performance on some level) with an understanding that he actually does matter.  So, in Buck’s coma dream, when Hen evokes the idea of Buck as the sun and everyone else as the world revolving around him, she both echoes old ego wounds AND she creates space in Buck’s head for him to figure out that he’s not the center of the universe in any grand sense but that he does bring light and love to his loved ones just by being himself, a bright sun. He doesn’t fully get it in terms of Bobby until the end of the ep, but dream!Hen’s criticism initiates the workshop process of Buck truly seeing his influence in other people’s lives.

After the Bobby realization starts to percolate, Buck immediately asks about Eddie. It matters that it is immediately after Hen’s comment about the world not revolving around Buck. I’ll come back to that.

Hen: They said that Diaz was unfit. That he couldn’t be a firefighter and a single dad. He tried to bring him to the firehouse a few times, but Captain Righetti said no.

Buck: [flashback and then] Carla. He never met Carla.

Buck eventually saw his role in Bobby’s life but he dropped the ball with Eddie! Buck thinks that Eddie would have lost Christopher if he never met Carla. Our guy removes himself from that equation entirely. Despite the fact that up to the flashback point in the coma dream, Buck was the one who introduced Eddie and Carla in the queerest way possible! Buck was the one who assuaged Eddie’s fears about Chris during the earthquake and took Eddie to pick up Chris after the earthquake and went to the hospital with Eddie when Abuela broke her hip!!! Buck, it wasn’t Carla who changed Eddie’s life; you did that, my guy!! But Buck can’t see it. Not yet. 

Back to my point about Buck immediately thinking of Eddie after Hen tells him the world doesn’t revolve around him. So, this is Buck’s deep dark subconscious. I took that whole exchange to mean that Buck’s world does in fact revolve around Eddie and Chris. In reality, Buck has centered Eddie and Chris since he and Eddie took vows to have each others’ backs in 201. Buck has been doing The Most since that day. He faltered in the lawsuit arc but came back strong and hasn’t wavered even a little since then, dropping everything when needed to be there for his family. The Diazes are the center of Buck’s world and some part of him knows that but that part isn’t conscious yet, hence the Chris of it all asking him to help him find his dad plus Chris’ words to him being the signal to his coma brain that he needed to get back to the hospital in order to wake up.

It’s also super important that Buck’s thought process while talking to Hen in the coma dream is about Eddie as a single dad in particular. He didn’t think of it as Eddie being without resources/support. No. He framed it as him being a single dad. That means that Buck was aware on some level that he was stepping up and stepping into a co-parenting role for Chris with Eddie!! Some part of Buck knows that he buffered Eddie against the fallout of being a single dad. Abuela had health issues and then moved back to Texas. Tia Pepa had circumstances that limited her involvement with her nephew and Chris. Carla is a paid professional (echoed in her distraction technique with the nurse!) but Buck is Eddie’s actual partner in every way. He is the one who’s keeping Eddie from truly being a single dad. Based on Buck’s coma dream, I repeat: some part of his beautiful brain knows that!!

Going back to the fandom read that “Buck is the sun” - Eddie and Chris love Buck and he’s their light especially in dark times. We’ve seen it repeatedly. It was featured in the scene where Chris and Eddie visit Buck in his room. He’s illuminated by the lamp above the bed while Eddie weeps in the dark. Even in a coma, that man is lighting up their life! But in that particular scene, Buck is a distant sun and Eddie is struggling to feel the light. Chris isn’t though. He’s right there next to the sun drawing him back out. Stars and planets, baby! Between Buck showing up for them in every way and the constant interplay of light and shadow in their scenes, Buck as the sun is pronounced in this episode. I would argue that the reverse is true as well but Buck hasn’t had the full realization that the Diazes are his sun and his family yet. *sigh*

Buck is working out his issues in 611 so that he can show up for himself AND for his family in a fully conscious way. If Chris is the Universe that energizes and holds all things in the Buckley Diaz Family, then Eddie and Buck are worlds, circling each others’ star. I may be taking the metaphor too far but I don’t care lol. Buck is moving from the subconscious awareness that Eddie and Chris are his family to a conscious awareness. It’s so damn beautiful it makes me weep.

[innytoes]

JATP Gilmore Girls AU

Because apparently sooner or later I create a Gilmore Girls au for every fandom I am in... All the blame goes to @hawkguyhasstarbucks who sent me ‘emily patterson 🤝 emily gilmore’ and I have not known peace since.

-When Luke has Rory, he decides to name her Lorelai after himself. That way, there will still be a Lorelai in the family after he transitions so everyone can suck it.

-Luke is constantly baffled by his daughter being like, the opposite of him in every way. Except really she isn’t. He is all about music, she is all about books. He loves and supports her even if he doesn’t really get it.

-Luke still runs away to work at the Independence Inn. But besides cleaning rooms, he also mans the piano or guitar during dinner. If you tip well enough, he will play requests. If he thinks your request sucks, he will keep your money and play something better. If you want him to play Piano Man, it’s 100 bucks.

-Bobby, Rory’s father, did not run away with them even though Luke asked him to. When Luke is cleaning rooms several years later, he hears a very familiar song on the radio.

-It’s said to be by Trevor Wilson, but Luke knows that voice.

-Let’s just say that for the sake of their kid, Luke doesn’t sue the pants off of Bobby. He’s been dealing with his shitty broken promises to Rory for years and trying to keep from badmouthing her other dad. But this is one bridge too far and it’s burnt.

-He lets Bobby know if he ever tries to steal another song of Luke’s, Luke will not only sue the pants off of him, he will tell Rory everything. Rory who at eight is already smarter than both of them put together and the most fair-minded child in the universe.

-Bobby takes this threat very seriously and indeed never steals another song of Luke’s. His first album is a hit, but all his next ones are kind of flops. He does pay Luke some money, so he can move and get a house for him and Rory.

-Luke moves to his own place in Stars Hollow with Rory and they are quickly adopted by the town. They have breakfast almost every morning at Reggie’s, the diner in town. It’s run by Reggie, who is just a ray of sunshine, and Alex, who complains about how much coffee he and Rory drink but also always pours it for them anyway.

-Luke and Rory move next door to the Molinas, who are pretty awesome and have a daughter about Rory’s age. Julie and Rory are best friends and Luke is so thankful to have some Adultier Adults nearby when he has parenting questions like ‘how young is too young for a child to read Russian literature’ and ‘how did I explode the microwave trying to make soup for my daughter, no it’s fine it’s not on fire... anymore’.

-Okay and also maybe Luke looked up to Ray a little about how to be a Proper Father because he was just winging it by going ‘how about I take everything my parents did and do Not That’.

-When Ray realises he makes sure to tell Luke that he’s doing everything right and Rory seems like a well-adjusted, happy kid. Luke manages to keep it together until he’s home and only then cries about it, because that’s all he’s ever wanted, was for Rory to be happy.

-Reggie inherited the hardware store from his dad and turned it into a diner. He immediately invited Alex to join him because 1) Alex knows coffee better than Reggie ever will and 2) they were best friends and Alex was on the verge of either being cut off from the family or forced into a marriage with a Girl, Any Girl.

-Yes the Mercers did cut him off because he started living with a man and they were both like: lol but we aren’t even dating.

-They lasted like, 2 or 3 years of ‘we’re totally not dating we’re best buds’ before finally confessing they were totally in love.

-The next morning while opening the diner, Miss Patty and Babette took one look at the two of them and exchanged money. (Babette thought it would take them at least another six months and was hoping for a Dramatic Christmas Confession instead of a ‘dramatic random March confession.’)

-Tía Victoria is 100% Miss Patty’s right hand woman. Together (when Taylor isn’t looking) they rule Stars Hollow. She had her money on New Years.

-Yes Reggie baked Rory a coffee cake for her birthday. Alex is the one that grumpily informed her she was sitting at the wrong table, before nodding to the table he and Reggie decorated with balloons.

-When Rose died Luke and Rory were devastated and they did their best to help. Even if that meant ‘we know better than to try and make you a casserole but we did buy one of everything you like at Reggie’s so here you go.’

-Luke has 100% covered for the Molinas with Victoria. No no that extra plate is totally for me Victoria I promise. You know I just freaking love Ray’s spaghetti so much.

-Rory gets into Chilton and they have a small party before Luke realises that they aren’t eligible for the scholarship money. Ray offers to loan him the money but he just can’t. Ray’s fighting to keep Julie in her own music school, he doesn’t need the extra stress.

-So he goes back to his parents.

-Can you imagine how fucking painfully awkward Friday Night Dinners are. Just sit with that a moment. On the one hand Luke has Unsaid Emily running through his mind, on the other, Emily is scolding him for not wearing sleeves and trying to talk Rory out of going to Harvard and go to Yale instead and all he wants to do is run away and hide at Reggie’s diner or possibly the Molina’s studio.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Eddie: "Well, the rain finally started." (aka the other shoe finally dropped as expected)

Buck: "It's kind of weird but it ended up being a really nice night. Kind of felt like we were an actual family."

Eddie: "You are an actual family."

Buck (with that little familiar smile and duck of his head): "It never felt that way before."

Bobby: "So maybe you all made some progress there. That's good. Life's too short to take those relationships for granted."

Eddie: "Sounds like your family had your back on the whole donation thing. That's definitely progress."

Buck: "No, they, uh, they totally thought that was an idiotic decision. They just weren't going to let Chimney's dad have the last word on it.

1, Eddie has no idea what he's about to be in for.

2, Eddie hasn't been in much of the episode which would be weird given how he was emotionally supportive and present for Buck back in season 4 when Buck's parents came around & it would be even weirder to bring Albert back for it but not Eddie. However, I see what they're doing here. This is about Buck, as we all know, and he & Eddie are not on the same page as evidenced not only be the sweat shirt/suspenders from the turnout gear locker scene but also Buck not being honest with Eddie about his parents' actual reaction to the donor news. Which would be weird considering again what happened in season 4 and how he had no problem being honest with Eddie (or Bobby) then, but this is all setting up Buck to go on this journey that we're about to see so he can come full circle in his arc himself. And he needs to do that himself in order for there to be the full growth/development he needs to experience in order to get to Buck 4.0 and set him up for his future (aka Buddie). So it's no coincidence that he's not being completely honest here with Eddie or Bobby (his father figure & the person that sometimes mirrors Eddie himself).

3, The universe is about to get very loud again. Buck isn't listening to it and it's obvious because of him just saying what he said to Eddie even though we the viewers know differently (and thus we are supposed to question just why Buck is telling Eddie and Bobby something different when we know Buck is probably over the moon about his parents' real reaction, primarily Eddie since they are facing each other & his answer is directly to Eddie's statement). Buck had no problem admitting that it felt like they were a family to Eddie and Bobby who both commented on it. But Eddie was the only one to bring up the donor issue (which means it's on his mind & most likely what's bothering him, just like in 6A when we saw the four-way phone call, also notice no Hen or Chim in the engine at this point, Chim who would call bull on what Buck just said & Hen who Buck confided in before everyone else about the donor decision) and that's when Buck gives him that line. The sperm donor issue isn't just an issue for Buck; it's an issue for Eddie, too. This cements it. The fact that Bobby doesn't comment on it or say anything akin to Eddie shows just who this issue is going to affect/impact moving forward. And I think iirc there was talk about a possible dating scenario for Eddie in this back half of the season? This all jives exactly with that scenario if it happens. Buck and Eddie need to get on the same page first before anything can happen.

4, Bobby! Life is too short to take those relationships for granted??? While it's being made obvious that Buck is still holding something from Eddie and vice versa? You're killing me here. Do I really have to wait another week to see how this is all going to play out with what's coming? Especially for Buck's life? 911 writers, have mercy!

5, for those who say Buddie isn't a real thing, it won't go canon, and whatever else: the fact that the universe (aka the writers/show) has gotten involved each and every single time when it comes to these two guys and their arcs means they're moving towards it. Accept it, love it, live it, and move on. The whole roadmap has been set out before us; season 7 is going to be lit.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Okay I have a lot of non-writing things to do today but I’m going to list out all my WIPs here and y’all can send me questions about them or tell me to write a sentence for one of them or a scene you’d like to see or whatever and I’ll work on them for wip wednesday

Proposal fic

Eddie proposes after Buck wakes up from the coma, despite them not being romantically involved at all. About them falling in love but also about Buck, like, working through trauma and gaining the power of self respect as he deals with lasting repercussions of being struck by lightning. Also this is secretly set in the same universe a few years in the future.

Proposal fic sequel fic (dear god why, finish the main one you fool)

Conversations Eddie has with fathers. First Michael about coming out later in life, then Bobby about how frightening it can be to care about Buck sometimes, then a shovel talk from Chimney, then coming out to his own dad, then coming home to Buck.

ER nurse Eddie au

Nurse Eddie Diaz sees firefighter Buckley many times over the years. Snapshots of (almost) every emergency on the show that lands Buck in the hospital seen from Eddie’s perspective.

take you in and make you mine chapter two

Buck and Eddie wake up, get a little handsy and a lot sappy, Maddie stops by with breakfast and is surprised at first that her presumed-straight brother and his best friend are giggling and holding hands (is that a… hickey on Eddie’s neck…..) but then is so so happy for them and like… duh Buck and Eddie… of course, buckandeddie…

with love comes strange currencies

A sequel to take you in and make you mine. At the firehouse Eddie has a conversation with Hen about the joy he finds in being horny in a gay way, and Buck has a conversation with Bobby about how happy he is to be in love in an Eddie way.

Quilt shop au

Eddie works in a quilt shop run by Pepa (and his abuela until she moved back to Texas recently). Buck comes in for quilting advice about making a baby blanket for Jee-Yun. Buck’s beginner’s luck improv adhd disaster method of working stresses neat and tidy and crisply ironed Eddie out, but both of them end up learning from each other, and, of course, falling in love. Also him and Shanon go on twin journeys of gay awakening and love and support each other very much.

I think that’s all of them sdfgsdf there’s other scraps of aus floating around up there but these are the ones I’d like to focus on currently