#blue haired girl is a bada$$ bro

[scoups4lyfe]

she's crying D:

>:(((

damn homegirl doing parkour and shxt

I'd like to see you try mfer >:o

GOT'EM

baby secured <333

[uncle-jj]

Alright, I have decided to write my own lyrics for one of my favorite FNF mod songs:

Little Man!

BTW, the bold lyrics represent the Boyfriend, and the italics represent Tankman.

TW: swearing, suggestive content, slurs, and reference overdose

I'm tired of being such a little man

I wish I could be the biggest in the land

Little Man, why are you feeling so grumpy?

Ain't my fault that you are a little stumpy

Everybody's always picking on me 'cuz I'm short

One day I'll show them the real pain that they're waiting for!

All that because Dream murdered Ron just to challenge me?

What do you think I am, just some blue-haired butt monkey?

Fuckin' tired of being such a little man!

I will soon become the biggest in the land!

Little Man, there ain't no reason to be grumpy

Ain't my fault that you are a little stumpy

Everybody's always picking on me 'cuz I'm short!

One day I'll show them the real pain that they're waiting for!

It's okay, my little dude, for I am short as well!

But that don't mean you gotta be happy by raising hell!

I'm a fuckin' gaunlet, baby! And my bars are super crazy!

Everybody better run away from me or they'll be gravy!

I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout

I just wanna help a friend out!

I may be tiny, but I am mighty

Everybody will shudder once they all hear my own name

Good luck on that bro, but fuck, how should I know?

All I know is that this song is kinda like a mind game

I may be just a fuc-king little man, kid

But I've done more damage than you ever did

Little man, violence is not the right answer

You think I am the cause of mental cancer?

Everybody in the world will all know my name

And I'm gonna kick their ass in all of their games

You can say all the mean words straight up at my face

Ain't no excuse for being the size of a niche fanbase

Yes, I'm Little Man, I got a big plan

To takeover the whole world!

I beg your pardon? Have your veins hardened?

Don't cast your swine before pearls!

I'm tired of being such a little man

I wish I could be the biggest in the land

Little Man, why are you feeling so grumpy?

I'm sorry that you are a little stumpy

Everybody's always picking on me 'cuz I'm short

One day I'll show them the real pain that they're waiting for!

All that because Dream murdered Ron just to challenge me?

But that don't mean you gotta kill a guy to be happy! (Hold up and sit!)

Meanwhile, I'm-a find you a map to your girl's wish, 'cuz she's like-

"Oh, XML! Yeah! You are my papi chulo!"

Ha! Ho! Aw yeah! You don't know 'bout her! (Yeah?)

She's my fucking life! Now go to your corner and fucking cry! Like-

Oh, please! Kiddo, jeez! This gon' be how we play?

Meanwhile, Bobby...he found out Ron's gay! (NAE NAE!)

Yeah, don't worry...about...ME! D:< I won't spout-

All that shit to the motherfucking Twitch community?

Meanwhile, I'm with my girl giving her my treat! (YEET!)

Yeah, relax. Now sit back while I do my emails, eh? (WOOOOOOOO! >:D )

I'm tired of being such a little man!

You want me to be the biggest in the land?

Dude I know you hate your-self for being short

But give me a real challenge; what'chu waiting for?

*Glass breaking*

Listen up, don't make me use my force

Or else you'll suffer beyond the worst

Gee, you're cute for being so angry

Like Marshal the marshmallow squirrelly

Hey, wait a sec, I remember when a spider would sing this silly song with me!

Bada-bang! Bada-boom! Bada-bam-ba-lam! (2x)

Little Man, use your words! This ain't no dank meme!

You're just mad that your pal was onslaught by Dream!

*Accuses BF of killing Ron in explosions*

You're mistaken! I did not kill off your dumb old pal!

Are you sure you want to kill me in front of my gal?

*Glass shattering*

B R U H

BOOM!

I'm tired of being such a little man!

You want me to be the biggest in the land?

Little Man, why are you feeling so grumpy? (Boom!)

I'm sorry that you are a little stumpy (Boom!)

Everybody in the world will all know my name (Boom!)

And I'm gonna kick their ass in all of their games (Boom!)

There's no way, my little dude, I'm gonna play your games (Boom!)

And besides, I play on PS1 'bout every day (Boom!)

BOOM! (4x)

I may be tiny, but I am mighty

Everybody will shudder once they all hear my own name

Good luck on that bro, but fuck, how should I know?

All I know is that this song is kinda like a mind game

Everybody's always picking on me 'cuz I'm short

One day I'll show them the real pain that they're waiting for!

All that because Dream murdered Ron just to challenge me?

What do you think I am, just some blue-haired butt monkey?

I vent my sadness by posting dank memes

I don't care, didn't ask. + ratio (lol)

Come on now! I'm not making a big joke!

Sadness ain't funny, so please don't you laugh!

It's okay, man, to be sad and share your feelings! Yeah-eah~!

I can't get these melodies outta my head, like a sticker I put on my laptop

Nanana, na, everyday, you're like an iPod stuck on replay!

I may be just a fuc-king little man, kid

But I've done more damage than you ever did

Little man, violence is- (FART!)

...Six piece chicken nuggets.

What'chu know 'bout rolling down in the deep?

When you brain goes numb, you can call it mental freeze

When these people talk too much, but that shit in slow motion, yeah

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, yeah

*Glass shattering*

You may try, but you won't get a hold of me

Because I'm Little Man, stupid! Can't you see?

Dude, I know that you are such a little man

Who wants to become the biggest in the land

Everybody in the world will all know my name

And I'm gonna kick their ass in all of their games

You can say all the mean words straight up at my face

Ain't no excuse for being the size of a niche fanbase

*Argues in glass breaking and BRUHs*

I may be tiny, but I am mighty

Everybody will shudder once they all hear my own name

Good luck on that bro, but fuck, how should I know?

All I know is that this song is kinda like a mind game

Everybody in the world will all know my name

And I'm gonna kick their ass in all of their games

You can say all the mean words straight up at my face

Ain't no excuse for being the size of a niche fanbase

Ayo, the pizza here!

OH FUCK! I'M FALLING! BOY! I AM BAWLING!

Somebody call the doctor so that my legs can be fixed!

DUDE! ARE YOU OKAY?! I AM SO SORRY!

I didn't mean for this to happen to your poor legs!

OH MY GOD! MY EARS BURN 'CUZ A SKIPPED A STEP!

I'M IN NEED OF ONE BIG EXPENSIVE MILKSHAKE!

WHAT THE HELL?! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT SHAKE'S EXPENSIVE?!

I CAN ON-LY GET YOU A CHEAP ASS MILKSHAKE!

I JUST WANTED TO BE LAZY AND PLAY VIDYA GAMES!

WHY THE HELL DOES THIS DAMN SHIT ON KEEP ON HAPPENING?!

OH MY GOD! DUDE, I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS!

BUT YOU AIN'T LISTENED UP! COME ON, THAT'S NO FAIR!

*Glass shattering*

FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck

DickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDickDick

ShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShit

BIG BIG CHUNGUS BIG CHUNGUS BIG CHUNGUS

BIG BIG CHUNGUS BIG CHUNGUS BIG CHUNGUS

I'm waiting every night to finally succeed in life

I just look for foes to beat up with raps that sound like beeping

(Hey, hey, hey, hey!)

Hey! You! What's up with your 'tude?

You're a bab who's sus! Don't you cross my lines, boy!

Come on, Little Man! Dreamy is the real imposter!

So find him and kick him for me!

You may try, but you won't get a hold of me

Because I'm Little Man, stupid! Can't you see?

Little Man, why are you feeling so grumpy?

I'm sorry that you are a little stumpy

Everybody in the world will all know my name

And I'm gonna kick their ass in all of their games

It's okay, my little dude, for I am short as well!

But that don't mean you gotta be happy by raising hell!

I will not put up with being little, man!

I will soon become the biggest in the land!

Dude, I know that you are such a little man

Who wants to become the biggest in the land

Everybody's always picking on me 'cuz I'm short

One day I'll show them the real pain that they're waiting for!

All that because Dream murdered Ron just to challenge me?

But that don't mean you gotta kill a guy to be happy!

*Glass shattering*

What's up there my little friend; want to funk and juggle funny rap swiftly?

When I look at your girlfriend, makes me wanna go, "UGH!"

How'd you get here, army scum?! What gives you the right to come at me?

I once beat you at your game, so don't act all funny!

*Glass shattering*

Want a break from the ads?

If you tap now to watch a short video,

You'll receive 30 minutes of ad free music.

Yes, really! If you tap now to watch a short video,

You'll receive 30 minutes of ad free music.

B-b-b-b-bitch!

*Glass shattering*

That's all I have for today. Like if you want lyrics to part 2.

[capjump]

MEET THE MUSE.

Rules: don’t reblog, repost. Tagging: n/a tagged by: Stolen from @sternenhelden​!

( reply as muse talking )

► NAME ➭ “It’s-a me, Mario! Hello, everybody! Hello! Hello--!” ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ “Single? Ehh... I... yes?” ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ “I’m-a feel great!” ► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭  “Ehh... no?” ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ “...I, I’m-a suuuure sure they are! Mama and-a papa love-a each other very much, I’m-a know they always-a wanna be together!” 

This question is a bit hard to swallow considering he hasn’t seen his parents in a long, long time. Who even knows if they’re still alive to be married today?

🍄 FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ “Brooklyn, New York! What a place - skyscrapers as far as-a the eye can see! Hoohoo!”

He says he’s from Brooklyn, but the truth is, he doesn’t remember being born upon Shooting Star Hill from the Star Spirits. As far as he’s ever known, he’s Brooklyn-born.

► HAIR COLOR ➭ “Red, like-a my mama’s! Hehe, mama always used-a to tell me, ‘Red hair suits-a you very much, il mio patatino.’” ► EYE COLOR ➭ “Blue! Azul! Azzurro!” ► BIRTHDAY ➭ “My birthday, eh? Ahhhh... hmm... September-a 13th!” ► MOOD ➭ “I’m-a feeling pretty good!” ► GENDER ➭ “I���m-a big boy!” ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “Ooh, I’m-a love-a the summertime! Cold-a lemonade, sand between-a your toes, bright-a sunshine... ahh...” ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “Hmm... morning! Morning, morning, morning, mm-hmm!”

🍄 THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE?➭ “Well... y-, ya see... the princess, sigh, she’s-a so beautiful! She make-a my heart go bada-bing bada-boom bada-baa...” ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “Hmm...” 

He’d be hard-pressed to say he didn’t, admittedly. He fell hard, and fast.

► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ “My last-a relationship... well, gee, heh, that’s-a--, heh-. My last-a relationship was-a with a swell girl named-a Pauline - you may have-a heard of her, she’s-a the mayor of New Donk-a City! When we were-a together, she was-a just your average lady, but she was-a studying hard to-a become-a the mayor! It’s-a hard to focus on-a love when you’re-a working so hard!” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “I’m-a don’t think so!” ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ “I’m-a never step down-a from a promise!” ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK?➭ “Oh, yeah! Why. just-a yesterday I hugged-a my bro - nobody is-a better at giving hugs than-a Luigi!” ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ “Oh yeah, lots of-a them! I’m-a always getting-a super duper fanmail-a from em, I hope-a they know I’m-a appreciate them very much!” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ “...Wha-?”

🍄 CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ “Love, yep! Love is-a love is-a love is-a... oh, sorry, next-a question!” ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ “Aw, why do I have-a to pick? Can I just-a say both? ...No? Mhhh, well, I’m-a really like-a tea...” ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ “Everybody is-a my best friend! Princess-a Peach is-a my best friend, Princess-a Daisy is-a my best friend, Miss-a Rosalina is-a my best friend, Geno and-a Mallow are-a my best friends, Luigi is-a my best best-a friend, Bowser is... what? Next-a question? Sorry! Heheh...”  ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ “Ooh, I’m-a think both are-a fun!” ► DAY OR NIGHT  ➭ “Let’s-a go, daytime! Daytime is when-a my friendses are awake and-a ready to play!”

🍄 HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ “Ehh... uhh...” ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ “I-, well, heh, ahh... mmm... maybe...?” ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ “…Well, I’m-a guess I’m-a just want-a my friendses to-a be safe.”

🍄 PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ “They’re-a both super duper!” ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ ...Clears throat. ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “Eh? S-, Sorry, can you-a repeat the question?” ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “What was-a that last one? Ehh, never mind, ehm - relationship, please!”

🍄 FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ “Me and-a Luigi get along like-a peanut butter and-a jelly! He’s-a my partner in crime!” ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “...Ehhh, well-, it’s... eventful...?” 

All things considered, yes - he does have a messed up life. He would rather not admit to it, but he’s seen things no single man should ever witness, and he’s been through more frightening and traumatizing things than he cares to speak up about.

► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “I’m-a don’t gotta run away from-a home!”

The only time he ever truly ran away from home was during his family’s collective escape from the war.

► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “Have I been-a kicked out? Of-a my home? I’m-a don’t think so...”

🍄 FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “I’m-a don’t hate any of-a my friends! Not even-a Bowser! I’m-a don’t like-a to hate.” ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “My friends are-a my bestest, bestest, bestest of-a buddies!” ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “All of-a my friends are-a my best friends! But I’m-a gotta say, Luigi is-a my bestest best friend.” ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “My bro, Luigi! He knows-a me more than I-a know me, hehe...”

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 09.10.17 lb

“SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO GET IT” - please shivaay, who do you think you’re kidding, we fully know you got this report and subverted the legal system the way you usually do; the time-tested and winning combination of bribery and threats.

what is anika even doing in the room rn? didn’t we see her storm out, as witnessed by pinky???? and now she’s back as if this is a continuation of that scene? kuch bhiii. 

look at these two huddling behind the couch like a coupleeee of idiot childrennnnn. MY IDIOT CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh no, can pinky hear his khusar pusar???? OUFF SHIVAAY WHY ARE YOU THE ABSOLUTE WORST AT THIS GAME?????????????

OMFG ANIKA SHUSHHHHHHHHHHHHH

greaaaaaaaaat time for hair to get stuck in his watch. 

OUFF THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC MOMENT YAHAN JAAN PE BAN AAYI HAI AUR TUM LOGON KO O JAANA MOMENT SOOJ RAHA HAI

it’s not even her real hair anyway 🙄🙄🙄🙄

KABHI NA AANE WAALA POLITENESS ANIKA SE AAJ PHOOT PHOOT KE BAAHAR AA RAHI HAI RIGHT IN TIME TO GET THEM CAUGHT

lmaoooooooo the way he hit her on the head exasperatedly/affectionately. ugh these two are so adorable. 

omg she’s so cuteeeee. i can’tttt handeeee when she’s being this stinking cute. GODDAMNIT SHIVAAY, WIFE HER AGAIN. ONE MORE TIME. SHE DESERVES IT. 

hubs is talking about something else, but wife’s mind is all on the ROMANCE. 

“kyunki meri nayi nayi shaadi hui hai, isliye mujhe romance sooj raha hai.”

unsaid: ‘also, my husband just straight up abandoned me on the wedding night, so i’m horny af.’

“mujhe kisi mahapurush ne kaha tha... actually apne ghar pe woh om hai na, ussi ne kaha tha... ki sabar ka phal meetha hota hai.”

yeah let’s see how you like that concept when she cockblocks you the next time you’re in the mood. 

koiiiiiiii blushhhhh kar raha haiiiiii

um, where’s tanya???? is this while she went out to make her call to her bairi piya, bada bedardi (henceforth known as BPBB)???

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THISSSSSSS STUPIDDDD MILLLLLLLLL BS WE HAVE A MILLION OTHER PROBLEMS LIKE ABHAY BEING WEIRD AND GAURI HAVING LEFT AND RUDRA HAVING GONE FULL ON BATSHIT INSANE

lol ok anika you’re the worsttttt at this. i relate with shivaay’s parde ke peeche waala frustration. 

why do punjabis seem to take getting sick as a personal offence like it’s some kinda moral failing on their part? we all have immune systems that fail us occasionally. no shame in that! 

JHOOOOTI REPORTTTTTTT. OUFF BILLU KAHIN SE REPORT UTHA LEE AAYA HAI AUR WOH BHI FARZIII

tanya doesn’t like it when the tables are turned on her.

lol billu’s going to get one whole generation of oberois arrested. 

OOOOH BHAVYA’S GONNA KICK ABHAY’S ASS. YOU GO GIRL!

like he cute and all, but he diiiiiiiiiiiirty. i’m fully on my girl’s side.  

look at this insouciant motherfucker. so dapper. much stylish. wow. 

BITCH DON’T TRY TO PLAY BHAVYA PRATAP RATHORE. 

oh damnnnnn, abhayyyy’s gooood. 

damn, abhay and bhavya kiiiiiiiiiiiinda make a cute pair? already more chemistry in this takraar than any scene she’s had with rudra.

abhay’s maniccccc eyed look is taking some of the cute sheen off him. 

bromance toh suna tha, lekin this boy has a serious case of brobsession. 

song dedication from gauri kumari sssarma to omkara singh oberoi: 

no she’s not gonna pick up. stop being a pain in her ass. 

ooooooooooh shivaay’s here. he’s going to find out (eventually) what this fucker did to his little chiraiyya and he’s NOT. GOING. TO. BE. HAPPY. 

LOOK AT THIS FUCKER: 

“haan bilkul! sab theek! i didn’t call my wife a philandering adultering whore and make her dump me or anything ahahaha ohgodimdeadhesgonnakillmewhenhefindsout”

yeah you best convince him everything’s fine, awfulkara singh oberoi. 

pyaar??? shivaay don’t waste your breath, this fucker doesn’t know shit about pyaar. 

THE DISAPPOINMENT AND JUDGINESS IN SHIVAAY’S EYES AT OMKARA. I AM LIVVVVVVVVING FOR IT. YAS BADE BHAIYYA. YOU REP YOUR CHIRRAIYA. 

omkara you fucking idiot did you not listen to her when she said she went for those classes on recommendation from shivaay? ugh. men. 

ok shivaay, if YOU knew that omkara didn’t care, they why did you put her in the classes in the first place? 

ok i know why you did but... whatever. ab gade murde kyun ukhaadna. 

“AS A HUSBAND, YOU FAILED!”

YAAAAAAAAAS SHIVAAAAAAY, READ HIM THE RIOT ACT FUCK HIM UP, THROW SOME PUNCHES EVEN!!!!! 

also you know you fucked up maaaaajorly when SHIVAAY of all ppl says that you are a failure of a husband in bold italics underlined voice. 

“koi nahi. galtiyaan sudhaari bhi jaa sakti hai.”

unsaid: ‘yeah like, look at anika and me! we’re in love now! and you didn’t even threaten to blow up her mom or anything! this is totes fixable, bro!’

“GO AND GET YOUR WIFE BACK. NOW. OR IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. COZ I HONESTLY LOVE HER MORE THAN I LOVE YOU.”

lmaooooo please om, like you and rudra have everrrrr been helpful in such matters. shivaay’s been handling this shit alone since day 1. and now he has anika. you losers would just get in their way and slow them down.

time for dil boley oberoi part two??????? 

UGH I DON’T WANT HER TO TAKE YOU BACK

ok why are all these asshole desis juding bhavya? 

whut??? gaddaaar? how? 

lmao what nonsense. an officer of the bhavya’s stature doesn’t need to live in someone’s house as a paying guest. she’s an ACP. she’d be given her own (rent free) quarters as part of her job benefits. 

god i hate judgey desi community sooooo fucking much. 

fuckkkkk abhay and rudraaaaaa soooo much. ugh. I HATE SUCH CREEPY BRO CODE FUCKERS. 

EVERY TIME ABHAY SAYS “APNE BHAIYYON KE LIYE MAIN... KUCHHHHHH BHI KAR SAKTA HOON... KUCHHHHHHH BHI”, I LOSE A YEAR OFF MY LIFESPAN 

omg you guys, he does the phone spinning thing like shivaaaaaaay. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEANNNNNNN?!!?!?!? 

if shivaay was a little older, i’d be willing to put money on the fact that he was shivaay’s secret son or something

ok not gonna lie, heart twinged a little to see that asshole singh oberoi has picked up and brought those threee pieces of the card and reads it over and over. 

DETERMINED HAIR FLICK. 

damnnnn son, blue is yourrrrrr colour. 

it’s that time of the day when i send up thanks to the lord for sending this fine fine specimen of manliness down to bless us all. 

“aaj aisa achaanak kya ho gaya jo shivaay ne humein ek saath bulaaya hai??”

LMAO WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????? SHIVAAY CALLS THESE FAMILY MEETINGS EVERY THREE DAYS

what a way to make an entranceeeeeeee

judgey look of judging: ‘what the fuck did you old motherfuckers doooo 25years ago??? i can’t smash with my wife thanks to this fuckery. i’ve had a raging case of blue balls for over 6 months now.’

WHY IS HE DOING THIS IN THE FUCKING LIVINGGGG ROOOM, LIKE TANYA IS RIGGGGHT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE

look more shadyyyyy, jhanvi. 

sound more shadyyyy, shakti.

lol tej and pinkyyyy’s totally casual shrugs. so believable. 

yeh ladka toh inko jail bhijwaaake hi maanega. and i for one, AM THRILLED. THESE FUCKERS HAD IT COMING. 

lol pinky v/s dadi face drama. 

oh wow, they actually remembered that whole custom of “the oberoi men fast too” from last year and are keepin it consistent this year! 

WHUT? DADI REMEMBERING THERE’S A DOOSRI BAHU GAURI IN THIS HOUSE AS WELL? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! 

tanya’s here to demand some sargiiiii as well. girl, go ask your bairi piya’s mummmy. 

lmaoooooooo even pinky is likeeee WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

LOLOLOL PINKY’S EYEROLL

... isn’t this the bathroom???? why is she just... strolling in so casually??? WHY DIDN’T HE LOCK THE DOOR????

LMAO HER CACKLE. I AM SCREAMING. 

snort, the buttons are on allllll wrong. 

haaaaye what a sharmeeeela billuuuu. he can’t deal with wife’s total lack of boundaries and sharam. 

I AM LIVING FOR ANIKA INTIMIDATING HIM VIA TEASING

my suspicions are confirmed. hubs has moved into this guest room with wife. 

i can’t stop laughing at that one biggggg loop the shirt is making. 

“aap bhi toh mere hi hai na?” awwwwwwwwww!

he’s speechless from the sweetness! so cute! 

“baahar operation theater ki tarah laal batti thodi hai” hahahahahaha

I AM TRULY LIVINGGGGGGGGGG FOR ANIKA TEASING THE FUCK OUTTA SHY SINGH OBEROI 

“mujhe pata nahi tha ki mera aap pe AISA asar hota hai” - pointed look downwards. OMFGGGGGGGGGGG

“upar. neeche nahi dekh rahi, upar.” LOLOLOL

SHE’S GONNA UNBUTTON HIS SHIRT AND FIX IT FOR HIM!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! LORD ABOVE I’M NOT READY FOR THIS OH GOD I’M NOT 

anika’s recovered admirably and is chattering away to a dozen but husband is paralyzed with lust and shock. mostly mind-numbing lust though. 

lmao she actually had to SHAKE him outta ittttt. 

OMGGGGG IS HE ACTUALLY SCREAMING FOR KHANNA’S HELP. IN THE BATHROOM. TO COME SAVE HIM FROM FEELING HORNY FOR HIS WIFE.

MATLAB.... AT THIS POINT, JUST TELL ME WHAT’S *NOT* IN KHANNA’S JOB PROFILE COZ THAT’LL BE A SMALLER LIST. 

“merry karwa chauth! karwa chauth... mubarak?”

how very secular of you, shivaay. 

oh no. challllllllllenge. underestimating of fasting abilities. shivaaaay you’re gonna regret this. 

what even is your face, you fucking idiot???

both you fuckers are gonna fast and you know it. 

OUFF TANYA GIVE A MAN A MOMENT OF PEACE IN THE BATHROOM AT LEAST! 

lmaooooooooooooooo his impression of talking on the phone. 

“DON’T LOOK DOWN!” 

how can one not look down when you’re shoving your phone in your pants like that? 

god shivaay, you’re acting sooooooooo shaaady. you’re so terrible at this. 

what? why was that tub fullllll of water when everyone’s bathed and done for the day???? 

thank god for this mysterious caller forever saving their asses. 

ok shivaay calm the fuck down, i’ve never seen you panic like this the million times you shoved her into THE POOL?????????

“MAIN DALOONGA UNGLI!!!!!!”

omfg this man has lost it. caring ki bhi ek hadh hoti hai. 

“I’M PUTTING YOU IN A HEADLOCK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

pft silly anika, ceiling pe spiderman chipakta hai, superman nahi.

thanks for confirmation and backup, shivaay.

“kyunki tumhari andar meri jaan hai.”

wife is not leaving any mauka to do awwwww and tease husband today. 

yup this def. looks like abhay who’s tanya’s BPBB to me.

tanya’s reached the end of her rope and is like fuck your mission. i like. you tell him girl!!!!! 

“yeh jo vrat rakha hai lambi umar ke liye, yeh lambi umar qaidddd na ban jaaye” 

lmaoooooooo pinkyyyy

this is soooo shivaay’s plan to get the truth outta the buddhelog, and lmao tej face be like YEH LADKA TOH MARWAA KAR HI CHODEGAAA

lol this poor servant gets yelled at every time she comes with fooood

why isn’t tanya calling pinky MUMMMMYYYYYYYYJIIIII

arre, shivaay doesn’t consider her his wife acc. to the drama. she still is in the house as shivaay’s wife??? why would she not fast?? 

OMFG THIS FUCKER TAKING TANYA’S SIDE. 

“billu? kya chal raha hai tum dono ke beech mein???” “kuuuuuuuch bhi nahi??? aur vrat toh bilkul bhi nahi!”

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

“waaah kya khushboo hai! khushboo se yaad aaya mera conference call hai!”

snort. fuckingggg idiot. 

omg shivaay’s actually feeding some servant HAATH SE. this man has fucking lost it. 

also poor khanna has been tarsofying for such a display of affection from his shivaay sirrrr. why isn’t he getting any love? bechaaara. 

GAURI’S HOMEEEE! 

ughhhhhh this MAAAAAAAAAA is so irritating. 

this pooor girlllllllll, lying through her teeeeth to her cluelessss mom. *sighs and holds gauri forever, while cussing out omkara’s existence and wishing the plagues of egypt upon him*

anika, you’re FASTING. how do you have so muchhhhh energy to be snoopinggggg? i don’t have energy for basic life functions even on a full stomach. 

also, could please stop ruining the dude’s piss poor attempts at surprises (or in this case, falling into a trap that he’s setting for you.)

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 14.09.17 lb

it’s so strange to not have anika around. like... the ghar/room/show actually seems khaali khaali. i didn’t feel like this when nakuul went on vacay. hence proved that surbhi is the actual jaan of this show. 😌😌😌

itne dino baad yeh banda kuch kaam kar raha hai, yeh rudra ka bachcha woh bhi nahi karne dega. 😒😒😒

i’m already giggling at shivaay’s face. 😂😂😂

“yeh waali problem thodi ajeeb hai.” 

bhaiyya is intrigued. 😯😯😯

“it’s about my... performance, bhaiyya.” 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA THE HIGH PITCHED “HUHHHH?!?!!?” SHIVAAY LET OUT HAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“mujhe bhavya ko prove karna hai!!!” “kya?” “KI MAIN BACHCHA NAHI HOON! MAIN MARD HOON! PAR MUJHSE KUCH HO NAHI RAHA!!!!!!”

hahahaha shivaay’s like I LOVE YOU BABY BRO BUT I REALLY DON’T NEED TO KNOW THIS 😫😫😫😫

love that even in between the convo, shivaay did that standard hindu gesture of reverence to the dropped file, and indicated to rudra to do the same. like, it’s just an inbuilt habit for me to do that to books/paper/people if i accidentally touch them with my foot. it was suchhhhhh a hard thing to explain to white people when i was in usa. 😐😐😐

hahahahahaha poor shivaaaaay. such a jhatka he’s getting this early in the morninggggg. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO ANIKA KYA BATAYEGI... TUNE KUCH KIYA KAHAN HAI BATAANE KO. 😆😆😆

“main chahta hoon jaise anika bhaabi khush hai, waise bhavya bhi khush rahe.”

lolololololol trust me rudy, any “khushi” she’s getting isn’t from your bhaiyya here. *cough* apna haath, jagannaath. *cough* 

lmaoooo shivaay is FREAKING the fuckkkkkk outtttt 🤣🤣🤣🤣

okkkkkkk finalllllllllly. matter is clear. 

HIS RELIEFFFFFFFFFFF HAHAHA

waise i feel so bad for boys if they can’t discuss such things with each other. this is why i am so overwhelmingly relieved to be a woman and have girl friends i can talk about everything from my period flow to lord knows what ever the fuck else weird shit my body is up to that day. 😗😗😕😕😕

bhaiyya is just confirming, ki... sachhhh mein “uss area” mein issues thodi hai? 😟😟😟

“tujhe koiiiiii problem nahi hai, i am so happy!!!!! TU MUJH PE GAYA HAI!” 

ew! yeh bhi koi genetic trait hai proud hone waali? lord. men. ugh. 🙄🙄🙄

eh le, bulbul is just in her standard kapde? shivaay told you to look hottttttttttt, girl! 

godddd that stupidass kurtaaaa of his. exhibition ke din toh dhang ke kapde pehenta, om!!! 😣😣😣

i haven’t seen om look this animated in foreverrrrrrrr. 😕😕😕

he looks so happy to see her! awwwwwwwww, my heart! 😍😍😍

is he holding his hand out to her? please don’t be gesturing to something behind her!!! PLEASE! MY HEART WON’T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT. 😯😯😯

ok no, it IS to her. thank god. 

is she dreaming all this? oh god is this a dream? MY HEART WON’T BE ABLE TO TAKE THAT EITHER. 😯😯😯😯😯

i can’t stop freaking out. coz i know SOMETHING has to go wrong so everyyyy damn action of his is seeming shady to me. 😖😖😖

WAIT WHAT? IS THIS A FUCKING DREAM OR NOTTTT I NEED IT TO BE CONFIRMED THIS ISN’T A DREAM COZ I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE IMMA THROW UP RIGHT NOW 😫😫😫🤢🤢🤢😥😥😥

YUP.  KNEW IT. 

ok don’t tell me bulbul is feeling insecure coz the other ladies are in western. comeeee on girl, you look good! 

ok shivaay please, just give us a get rich quick scheme, we don’t have time for a whole MBA course from you rn. 

the amount of times shivaay has had to clarify that’s he’s NOT SUGGESTING RUDRA DABBLE WITH PROSTITUTION is amazing. 😐😐😐

“create a need” - wow, spoken like a true MBA asshole. i would know. i’m one of them.

bhaiyya is still oddly fixated on rudra’s plumbing. FUCKING LET IT GO SHIVAAY. TU APNE SEX LIFE KI SOCH. APNA TOH KUCH HO NAHI RAHA EK SAAL SE, RUDY KE LIYE BADA PARESHAAN HAI... FUCKING IDIOT. 🙄🙄🙄

back to bulbul. girl hold that head up high, you’re the most beautiful human being in this room by a factor of 10. 😌😌😌

oh boy is she going to get insecure seeing om talk to the girl in the blue dress? 😬😬😬

oh ho bulbul, omki bhi toh desi chirota banke aaya hai. no need to be overly paranoid. just chill. 😶😶😶

her anxiety is ramping up MY anxiety. 

ok vrinda’s acting is hella bad and killing me. behen, lines ratta maare hai, theek hai, but aise elocution mein poem ki tarah kyun jhaad rahi ho?  

ok bulbul, he didn’t even knowww you were here. 😦😦😦

OK VRINDA YOU BITCH, DON’T YOU MAKE THAT SNOTTY FACE AT MY GIRL. 😠😠😠

oh god. what evennnnnnn is this idiot going to do? apne saare gym equipment kabaadi ko bech raha hai kya? 😐😐😐

lmaooooooo i love these two idiots. 

bhavya honestlyyyy, do you not have anything better to do in life? like... sultan’s still loose... SVETLANA’S STILL IN THE HOUSE... MATLAB, KUCH TOH KAAM KARLE, MERI BEHEN. 😗😗😗

using govt. services and resources for personal use. nice. 

wow. chubby’s a good marketer. 

OK FUCK OFF YOU FAT SHAMING ASSHOLE. 😐😐😐

ok rudra, stop being mean to chubby. he’s the only one helping you out right now. 

omfg chubby is so cute “training karna hai toh mujhe contact karna, i’m a ready punching bag” what a cupcake. 😭😭😭😭

ok om, don’t be an asshole to her. please don’t be an asshole. 😣😣😣

this is.... gauri. (............................) 

oh just a random woman named gauri standing next to you huh??? 😒😒😒😒😒😒

ok, come the fuck on, why would gauri be awkward about shaking hands? kuchhhhh bhi. awaiii making the character look like a country bumpkin when she’s not! 🙄🙄🙄

why are ppl willing to pay TWICE the price rudra is starting at for a USED punching bag? kya chutiya log hai. 😣😣😣

omg, flashback to baby rudra and shivaay. 

ok they messed up the ages of the kids tho. shivaay’s 10 - 11 years older than rudra. the shivaay should be at 20ish, given that the baby rudra looks 10ish.

aw, rudra was bullied for being chubbbbby. 🙁🙁🙁

ok very abrupt end to that scene. damnit, show me more of my boys as babies! i wanna see overly serious and business minded baby shivaay!

awwwwwwww no, why’d you selll thaaaaaaat rudraaaaaaaa?!?! 😥😥😥😥

also god bless chubby. what a good friend. i love him.  💘💘💘

did he make the 25k?????

ohhhhhhh boy, press is being intrusive assholes as usual.

OMFG WHAT NONSENSE, THE PRESS WOULD NEVER LAUGH LIKE THAT AT SOMEONE ASKING TO BE SPOKEN TO IN HINDI. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK EVEN???????? 😑😑😑😑

what stupidassssss questions. and i don’t wanna watch this scene it’s giving me tooooo much michmichiiiiii

ok i’m fwding coz i actually CANNOT handle it. i hate when they make such BS issues outta nowhere. 😫😫😫😤😤😤😤

lol rudra ke 25k aaaye nahi ke paise maangne waale bhi aa gaye. welcome to adulthood, rudy! 🤑🤑🤑🤑

ok om to the rescueeeee.

damnnnn, assertiveKara is hottttt as hell. 😍😍😍😍

from assertiveKara to just an ASS in 2 seconds flat. ugh, whyyyyy om? 😩😩😩😩😩

blah blah blah ruvya nonsense, fwding, coz i really don’t care. 

bitchy vrinda’s back. and being a bitchy again. 😤😤😤

YAAAAAAAAAS OM! TELL HER OFF! DEFEND YOUR WIFE! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

woulda been nice if you would have done it when she was still here though. sigh. 

wow, one ruvya scene that didn’t make me cringe and want to dieeeeeee.😯😯😯😯

AAAAAAAAAAND THEY RUINED IT WITH A SONG SEQUENCE. LORD WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. UGH. FWDING. 

... IS THAT BHAVYA’S ISSUE? THAT SHE’S 4 YEARS OLDER? SIS, THAT’S THE LEASTTTTTTTTTT OF THE ISSUES IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 😕😕😕

oh gauriiiii. my babyyyyyyyy. noooooo. *hugs her super-tight* 

OH THANK GOD. SHIVAAY IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIVAAY IS HERE!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shivaay and anika are the only ones from this family of circus freaks that deserve gauri’s blessed presence in their life. only they REALLLLLLY care about her. fuck all the rest of you oberois. 

if one year ago, you’d have told me that SHIVAAY SINGH OBEROI sits on the floor to talk to and comfort this random non NKK-possessing girl who managed to find herself in this house through the strangest of circumstances, i would have told you that you were out of your godforsaken mind. but *sigh* i’m so happy at all the fates that conspired to bring these two into each others’ lives. 😪😪😪😪✨✨✨✨

SHIVAAY, TALKING ABOUT HOW SOCIETY IS FUCKED UP FOR JUDGING PEOPLE ON THE LANGUAGE THEY SPEAK. I AM DESTROYEDDDD. THE GROWTH THIS MAN HAS UNDERGONEEEE. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

ok i am legit crying at him adamantly telling her that there could never be a girl more perfect for om. fuck, my hearttttttttttttt. 😭😭😭😭😭

“main sab theek kar doonga, gauri.” 

aaaaaand now i’m weeping. like loud heaving sobs. great. 😭😭😭😭😭

ok don’t show me this ruvya garbage after the perfection that was that shivRi scene. like, honestly, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.

whut? billu’s getting champi? other people are allowed to touch his hair now???? 😐😐😐😐

billu, i hope you’re using that phone to sext. or you know... TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. YOU STUPID FUCK. 😩😩😩😩

ooooohhhh, billu’s getting inspired by dadi’s old-school romance stories. 

ok please dadi, stop singing. please. 😬😬😬

lmao shivaay’s like dadi you sing even worse than meeee. which is true. she’s that terrible. 😆😆😆😆

ugh such cute. 

lol dadi’s embarrassing billllu with her lovey doveyyy nonsense. 😅😅😅

ugh. pinkyyyyy. god knows what khichdi she’s pakoing now. 😒😒😒

wow, dadi just came down strong on pinky. ek chaanta toh already pada hai, don’t force dadi to bust out the belan. 😧😧😧😧

rudra seems to be going through jekyll and hyde kinda issues here. okaaaay??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

what’s tejjjjjjj up to now? 

i looooooooooooove his shirts man. i love them alllll. 😊😊😊

buddhon ka romance. 😏😏😏

but wow, first time i’m seeing tej seeming contrite. please god, reform his character. i don’t like having to hate mahesh thakur, who has the most positive, puppy dog-ish face ever. 😌😌😌

dangggggggggg svetlanaaaa, why so pretty?! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

lol billu’s ~~DEMANDS~~ for the paper to write his premmmm patraaaa on. 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO DADI CAUGHT HIMMMMM. DADI LET THE POOR BOY LIIIIVE. 😆😆😆