#bloodhound gang fic

[jackassbrainrot]

the drug you can't deny [jimmy pop x gn! reader]

desc: there's a party at Castle Bam and a new musician friend of Bam's catches your eye

a/n: inspired by the anon that asked for jimmy hcs!! cocky jimmy back at it again. I was writing this with the idea of an age gap with reader being around bam's age, so like a 5-6 year age gap but if you're not into that, just ignore it, it's not mentioned anywhere.

warnings: smoking, drinking, suggestive content, shotgunning

word count: 842

The Castle was packed, loud bass thumping through the walls and the ground almost shaking from the stampede of people running around the house. Phil and Ape were out of town, so Bam, still mentally a teenage delinquent, decided to throw a party and invite half of the state. You weren't going to complain though, free alcohol is free alcohol.

Pushing your way through the crowd, you searched for your friends, not paying any mind to the new faces around you. You notice Dico and Raab sitting on the couch and just as you were about to make a bee line towards them, a familiar hand gripped yours, pulling you in the opposite direction. "Speak of the devil!" Even though you were slightly annoyed that Bam had stopped you, you couldn't resist entertaining him when he looked at you with that beaming smile. "Jimmy, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Jimmy. He's got this kickass band, Bloodhound gang, and he knows Ville and-"

"Nice to meet you, Jimmy." You said, finally cutting off your best friend's ramblings. You could've sworn the guy, Jimmy, looked you up and down the moment you were in his line of sight, but you chose to ignore it, giving him a friendly smile. "Likewise." He said with a little smirk playing on his lips and a glint in his eye that you couldn't quite read. "I'm gonna go talk to the guys, catch you later!"

Jimmy's eyes followed you as you made your way through the crowd, ignoring whatever Bam was rambling about now. You sat down next to Raab, pushing yourself into his and Dico's heated argument over what the best Wawa order is. You checked out of the conversation as your thoughts started drifting to Jimmy, and so did your eyes. You didn't realize you were staring until his eyes met yours, a cocky smile spread across his face. You averted your gaze, suddenly feeling flustered.

"I need a drink." You announced to your friends as you got up, walking towards the kitchen in hopes of getting a moment to yourself. The kitchen was surprisingly calm compared to the rest of the house, filled only with mountains of bottles, some empty, some not.. You picked up a few, pouring an absolutely diabolical concoction into your cup to calm your nerves. Just as you were about to take a sip, you felt someone walk up behind you, caging you against the counter with their body. You turned around, an unamused expression on your face, expecting to see Bam or Novak.

"Hey." The word dripped from Jimmy's mouth like syrup, accompanied by a cloud of smoke spilling from his lips. His hand was on the counter, dangerously close to your hip, while he plucked the cigarette from his mouth, holding it out to you. There was something about him that made you feel like a little schoolgirl, your usual confidence melting away under the heat of his gaze. You took the cigarette from his hand, bringing it to your lips and taking a drag, before giving it back to him.

"Want a drink?" You gestured to the bottles you'd just used, trying to appear unaffected by his presence and the heat of his body so close to yours. "I came here for you, actually." His tone was playful, overconfident, and at that moment you knew he knew exactly the effect he was having on you. "Bam sent you to find me or somethin'?" Your gaze fell from his eyes, you couldn't bare the feeling of him seeing right through you, as if the lack of eye contact was going to help.

He chuckled, bringing the cigarette to his mouth again and inhaling as his hand finally moved from the counter to your hip, pulling you towards him. Before you could react, his lips were on yours, smoke flowing from his mouth to yours as your lips moved in tandem. Your hands gripped at his shirt, trying to pull his closer as the kiss got sloppier, more desperate. The edge of the counter was digging into your back as he pinned you against it, caging your body with his.

Suddenly, Bam's voice boomed over the music, calling for Jimmy. He pulled away, giving you an apologetic smile before dropping the butt of his cigarette in the sink. He fumbled with his pocket, pulling out another cigarette and handing it to you before snatching your cup from the counter. "Promised I'd get him a drink." He explained, turning on his heels and leaving you standing stunned in the kitchen.

Just as you were about to light the cigarette he gave you, you noticed black writing on it. His phone number. You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you giddy. You pocketed it, praying to every god that it was the only one in the pack with his number on it, that he'd written it specifically for you. You knew you'd be calling in a few days, eagerly awaiting another meeting with Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali.

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[mono-moonchilds]

For Glory │KNJ

⤑ pairing: underground boxer!namjoon x fem!reader

⤑ genre: angst!!, smut, some fluff ig but also not really but yes??

⤑ rating:explicit (18+)

⤑ word count: 3.2k

⤑ summary: A fight to the death. No rules, no refs, and nowhere to run.

⤑ warnings: descriptive depiction of boxing, illusions of death, mentions of a stabbing, ig just violence in general fr, arguments, anyways on to the smut part of these warnings, fingering, emotional sex, missionary, riding, namjoon has a buzz cut, feel free to let me know if I missed anything but I think that's all folks

⤑ A/N: I watched Bloodhounds a few weeks then just had to make a boxing fic because I loved that show so much. hot men + fighting = sign me up.

The room was full to capacity, nothing but sweaty drunks that were hollering over each other while letting out rowdy cheers filling the place. Despite it all, it felt like you could hear everything. Every punch, every kick- each blow that landed on his bruised skin rang a thousand times in your ears. The fight had only been going on for fifteen minutes —probably less— but it felt like much longer. Both of their bodies already so badly beaten —bright red blood spewing from their wounds and covering the once pristine mat.

This was your first fight and it showed. Your hands clenching the worn wooden benches, breath hitching at every movement. You usually didn’t come to these events, and you didn’t see how anyone could. They were barbaric and rough -no gloves, no rules, and definitely no safety measures. They couldn’t use weapons but that was about it. Everything else was free game and however the match ended was how it ended.

Whether it was in a K.O. or stone-cold murder was all up to the victor.

‘Fight To The Death’ was what they called it. A sixteen-by-sixteen ring, surrounded by wired, ceiling-high fences, and absolutely no referees. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and nowhere to escape. Neither party could call a time-out either. Once they were in the ring they were stuck there until the horn blew signaling the match was over.

“Fuck!” You jumped up from your seat. That was a mean one. The punch knocked Namjoon straight on his back allowing the other to climb on top. Luckily Namjoon was able to bring his arms up and get into a protective huddle, but it was still barely any help. Lee Do Yoon was evil, and his hits were ruthless. Even in the regular matches, he had a reputation for playing dirty.

This wasn’t even supposed to be his fight. For two years Namjoon had been out —he owned a gym and had a regular life that didn’t involve the underground fighting scene. For two beautiful years, you were able to see your boyfriend come home the way he left. No bruises, no busted lips. Just a clean face and a happy smile.

All of you had told Jungkook to lie low. That bragging and arguing with The Vipers was something he did not want to do. Despite your efforts to keep out this scene and the business that went along with it even you knew that Do Yoon and his little gang were nothing to mess with. Of course, Jungkook didn’t listen. When did he ever?

The night of your anniversary was when you got the call. You and Namjoon were on your way home from dinner when his phone rang.

Jungkook had been stabbed. They did him over three different times before leaving him for dead in the middle of an alley. Thankfully Jungkook had been relatively fine, but he was in absolutely no shape to fight. He could’ve pulled out but all of them had way too much vengeance to let the incident go unchecked, letting The Vipers have another by default victory. The other man had done this before and the only reason none of them ever got him back was they were all too consumed with their grief.

Hoseok had offered to fight in Jungkook’s place and so had Taehyung but either of them getting in that ring with Lee Do Yoon would’ve been like signing their death note. It’d been years since their last fight. And even though both of them were still in amazing shape they also had way too many injuries to even stand a chance of winning.

Of course, Namjoon never told you his plan though. He kept quiet, carefully dodging your suspicious questions until tonight.

“It’s okay- he’s okay. Namjoon’s got this,” Jungkook tried to comfort wrapping his arm around you, but you shook him off sending a mean glare.

You knew it was unfair to still be angry with him, but you couldn’t help. Sometimes you just wanted Jungkook to grow up —for him to mature and think with his head. Yeah, he knew how to step but he also needed to know when to fall the fuck back. He was twenty-five and everyone was still cleaning up his messes as if he were a kid.

“Joon!” You screamed out your hands banging against the gate. Instead of grabbing your boyfriend’s attention, you grabbed Do Yoon’s. A bloody grin filling his snake-like features as he turned towards you.

“Come on Joon—” he cooed mockingly, “you gone let your girl stand there and just watch you get put down like an animal? I thought you were supposed to be something. That’s what they told me.” Do Yoon got up from on top of him swinging his leg back hard before pushing it forward kicking Namjoon straight in the side. It sent all the air out of his body making Namjoon curl into a ball as he let out a loud cry. “Your nothing,” Do Yoon hacked a bloody lob right onto his face. “Just a washed-up piece of shit.”

Do Yoon yanked his head back. Namjoon had no time to react before the other man's hard fist clocked him dead in the face six times before dropping him back on the mat. Even though the match wasn’t over Do Yoon jumped around the ring as if he’d already won the crowd hyping him up like the depraved monster he was.

“Please,” You begged. Namjoon was still down. He kept trying to get up, but his body was wobbly and failing him.

Do Yoon crouched down in front of you. His tongue dragged against the nasty wire fence as he licked it. “Once I’m done imma have a nice time with you—” he reached down groping his flaccid dick in his shorts. “me and my boys. We’re going to-”

Before he can finish the sentence Do Yoon’s face is smashed against the fence before being dragged back. Namjoon is the one on top now. His punches unrelenting as he attacks every part of the man underneath his body. For once you understood how everyone else in the arena felt. A loud cheer came from the depths of your soul as you threw your arms up. Do Yoon was able to get a few good punches in, but it wasn’t enough, newfound energy filling Namjoon’s entire being.

It should have terrified you. The way Namjoon looked -his eyes cold and distant but it didn’t.

With one last heavy punch the match was over, Do Yoon’s arms falling flat to his side. For once the audience was quiet. Everyone was waiting with bated breath to see if he would get up. Strings of swearing erupted from his goons, their hands shaking the cage wall as they yelled at him. It was too late though.

The loud countdown over the speaker started.

Ten!

Nine!

Eight!

Seven!

Six!

Five!

Four!

Three!

Two!

One!

The horn blared.

“The winner of this year's Fight to The Death: Kiiim NaaamJOON!”

As soon as the gate rolled open you were gone. Jumping up you wrap your legs around Namjoon’s waist, his strong arms lifting you into the air. The crowd fickle as ever rang out in cheers, shouting and chanting Namjoon’s praises. Your boyfriend took it all in, a loud roar erupting from his throat as he bounced up and down.

It was over.

It was all finally over.

Namjoon walked out of the venue with a limp and somewhat clean face. Though he was still marred with bruises and cuts, Seokjin had managed to patch him up well. Before the two of you got into the car, he called over Jungkook handing him one of the leather briefcases. With a shake of his head, the younger immediately declined, pushing it away.

“Take it,” Namjoon pressed shoving it into his chest. “Pay your debts and stay out of trouble.”

“I’m sorry Hyung,” Jungkook broke down into tears. “I’m so sorry,” He repeated looking at you this time. “I will. I promise I will.”

“I know,” Namjoon said pulling Jungkook into a hug. “It’s over. don’t think about it too much.”

Throughout all his goodbyes Namjoon kept a stoic face. It was only when the two of you crawled into the backseat of Hoseok’s car that he let out a loud sob. Hoseok looked back at him through the rear-view mirror but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Reaching over you grabbed his hand and leaned over resting your head on his shoulder.

“I did it. I fucking did.” Namjoon whispered but you knew he wasn’t talking to you. He wasn’t talking to either of you. Instead, his focus was on the golden boxing glove chain that was around his neck.

Yoongi’s old necklace.

When the two of you entered your shared apartment the story of what had gone down just hours before was all over the place. The space is messy littered with broken objects that you’d thrown around in a fit. Before you could finish making your way over to the kitchen to grab the broom Namjoon grabbed your wrist stopping you.

“We’ll clean it up tomorrow. Come on,”

Sitting down on the bed Namjoon pulled you a top of him. Your legs spread on either side of his body. “Didn’t think you would come,” 

“Called Jimin last minute. He rushed me over.”

“How come?”

You shrugged sucking in a sniffle. “I just couldn’t bear the thought of you being in that ring thinking all that shit I said was true. I didn’t mean it Joon. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Namjoon, as understanding as ever nodded his head. “Baby I know you didn’t. I know you were just angry and you had every right to be.” That made you cry. You never would understand what you’d done in life to be able to call someone like Namjoon yours.

Gingerly grabbing your brown cheeks between his palms, Namjoon pulled you in for a kiss. The remnants of dried metallic blood danced on your tongue. It reminded you of your first kiss. How the scars made his lips rough and how swollen they felt against yours. You should’ve been used to this but for some reason, it all felt so foreign. Haven got so used to your new normal you’d completely pushed down the old one.

The staying up to the wee hours of the morning wondering if he was going to be okay, sometimes having to patch him up or force him to go to the hospital when things looked too bad.

“Come on,” Namjoon hushed pulling you back in. “Stay with me,”

Flipping the two of you over he laid you down on your back. His hands instantly falling to the hem of your leggings as he pulled the tight fabric off of you. Namjoon’s lips found yours once again, a soft gasp-like breath leaving your mouth as you felt the outline of his hardening cock pressing against your lower belly. Freeing you from the confines of his hoodie Namjoon latched onto your neck, his mouth sucking hard at the exposed skin as his fingers slowly trailed down your stomach and to the place you needed him most.

It was crazy. How with just a mere touch from him you were soaked. Panties clinging desperately to your sodden pussy. Letting out a low chuckle Namjoon pulled his fingers from your panties showing you the slick digits. “Thought you said you hated me?”

Letting out a whine you rolled your eyes. “Please,” You quietly begged. You knew Namjoon was just trying to make light- show you in his own little way that he wasn’t mad at you, but you couldn’t do it tonight. You didn’t want to relive any of the shit you’d said to him.

Sliding from off of you Namjoon laid down on his side while pulling your thigh up onto his hip so that now the two of you were laying down on the bed facing each other. Pushing his hand back between your bodies his fingers made their way back into your panties- the calloused tips rubbing against your sensitive clit.

One by one he pushed his middle and ring finger into your needy hole. Forcing another low gasp from your mouth as you leaned forward burying your face into the crook of his neck. Namjoon kept a slow pace. Dragging his fingers in and out, ever so slightly curving the digits to rub them against that little spot that always made you lose it.

“You know I love you,” Namjoon breathed against your neck. You nodded. “I was always gonna come back to you. Nothing could keep me away from you.”

Your body writhes, your right hand flying up wanting to tangle into Namjoon’s dark locks but there was nothing there. Just like it was when you’d first met him his hair was once again completely buzzed leaving him with practically little to nothing. So instead, you settle for grasping at the back of his neck, practically fucking yourself onto the digits, your hips having a mind of their own as they rolled and jerked.

You wanted nothing more than to say something back, tell Namjoon how much you loved him too but you couldn’t. The pleasure over taking your body so much that the only thing you could do was let out low swears followed by the call of his name. It always embarrassed you how just with a few touches Namjoon could have you speechless and clinging to his body in desperation.

You could hear the wetness. Your slick undoubtedly leaving the bed sheets along with your inner thighs a mess. “Look at me,” Namjoon mumbled a faint smile filling his lips as you followed his command. “You know I like looking at you when you cum.”

Namjoon’s fingers sped up. The squelches from your pussy fill the quiet room. “Shit,” You swore. That familiar feeling rising up in your lower belly. You could feel your legs tightening up, the heel of your foot pressing into the back of Namjoon's calf.

“That’s right. Let go for me baby,” You don’t need to be told twice. Your vision crossing a little as your body shudders against his. “There we go. Always so pretty. My pretty baby,” Namjoon encourages his fingers not letting up even for a moment as he fucks you through your orgasm. It feels like forever before he finally pulls away, shoving the slick digits into his mouth.

Pulling away for just a moment Namjoon sits up and pulls his own hoodie off. Even though you know it's against your better interest you can’t help but look. His bare chest was exposed showing all of the bruises that littered his once clear skin. They were everywhere. There wasn’t a bare piece of skin that didn’t have Do Yoon’s dirty prints on it. “nuh uh—” Namjoon murmurs tilting your chin up. “Don’t look at that. Look at me. Just stay here with me,” Kissing your tears away Namjoon rolled the two of you over so that he was back on top of you. In one swift movement, he pulled down his gym shorts and boxers allowing his thick cock to spring free from its previous confinements.

Grabbing the length, Namjoon began to pump it, smearing the creamy white beads that’d spurted from the tip into the rest of the skin. “Joon,” You breathed needily, your cunt throbbing desperately in your panties. Even though your boyfriend just shushed you he didn’t tease much longer, the head of his cock pressing into your pussy slowly splitting you open.

Despite Namjoon’s thrusts being slow they were hard. Each push knocking the wind out of you as you begged for more. Dipping his head down Namjoon wrapped his full lips around your brown nipple suckling the pebble into his mouth.

“Right there,” You moaned, eyes fluttering closed at the overwhelming sensations that racked through your body. Letting go of your nipple Namjoon’s face falls onto your shoulder, low grunts and groans falling from his lips with every thrust.

“Fucking love you,” Namjoon whispers so low that you weren’t even sure he’d meant to say it out loud. Wrapping your legs around his lower back, you pull him deeper into you, making a low hiss fall from Namjoon’s mouth as you accidentally press into a bruise.

“’m sorry,” you slur out.

“S’okay,” He grumbles kissing your collar blade, his wet tongue dragging across the skin. Pulling away Namjoon looked down at you, a small smile filling his face as he stared. Even though he didn’t say anything you knew exactly what he was feeling because you felt the same. The happiness. The relief. Although Namjoon had given promises of winning before he left the two of you both knew very well the fight could’ve gone either way.

Gradually his eyes drifted downward, first falling on your bouncing breast but then inevitably ending on your belly causing tears to fill his eyes. This time you pull him out of it, your hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him down for a kiss. “Lemme ride you,” you say.

With a nod of his head, Namjoon changed positions causing you to let out a lower whimper. He always felt so fucking deep in this position, like his cock was right in your stomach. “Shit—” Namjoon’s eyes got wide. “do you think we’re gonna—”

“Joon—” You cut him off with a laugh already knowing what he was about to ask. “You’re big but you're not that damn big. Just give me a minute.” You finish a moan tumbling for your lips as you roll your hips just a bit to help get used to the stretch.

Instead of placing your hands on his chest you lean back grasping his thighs, eyes fluttering close as you rock back and forth. Namjoon’s hands found purchase on your waist helping you grind a little bit faster, his hips rising a little to match your movements. Lifting yourself up you drop back down, the loud sound of skin slapping together filling the room as you repeat the movements.

“Don’t think I gonna last—” Namjoon chokes out. “feel too fucking good.”

You nod your head in agreement, already feeling the sensation building. “Just a lil faster baby.” Namjoon whimpers. “I need a little more,”

As you follow his directions, Namjoon’s head falls back. His lips forming into a ‘o’ as his eyebrows furrow together. He was almost there and so were you. Reaching down you rub fast circles onto your clit, your body shaking as your orgasm hits you hard. It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to follow, a loud groan escaping him as his cum paints your inner walls white.

The two of you pant, barely allowing the other to catch a breath before you find your lips on each other once again. Carefully you slide off him and fall to the side. Wrapping his arms back around you Namjoon pulls you in once more. His hand finds rest on your belly rubbing at the barely there bump as his eyes flutter close.

“Don’t know what I would do without you,” You whisper.

“And I don’t want to find out.”

⤑ A/N: I really loved writing this couple and I kinda wanna write the prequel to how they met and also Jungkook and Yoongi's story. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

[irl-w0lverine]

.ೃ࿐the bad touch.ೃ࿐

Pairing : Tate Langdon x fem! Reader

Content : smut with basically no plot

warnings : kinda rough sex?, use of y/n, NOT PROOFREAD!

A/n : this is not the smut that was meant to be written but i heard the song and decided to make a fic about it 😓. I am still writing the other its just hard to thing of how to

This is my first time actually writing smut so i apologise for how poorly written it is and if some wordings seem silly, i couldn't keep a straight face at all

SEXUAL CONTENT! IF YOU ARE BELOW THE AGE OF 18 AND REAS THIS, THAT IS YOUR FAULT NOT MINE!!

Mere minutes ago, you and tate were just sat on your bed, listening to music on your record player until a certain song came on and things began to get... Heated. Skip to now, you were straddling tates lap while both of you took turns removing items of eachothers clothes as the tune blasts from your record player, your lips staying connected as much as they can.

'I want you smothered, want you covered Like my Waffle House hash browns'

Your hands matted in his hair as he trails harsh kisses and nips at your neck,his hands trailing down to your shorts and unbuttoning them at a messy pace. you both are fully naked within seconds, him laying you down on the mattress as he slides down your body, his hands following down to your thighs.

You were already soaked and eager, squirming once you feel two of Tates fingers slip into your hole, stretching you out imediately.

"holy shit Tate" you manage to breathe out, your hands balling the material of your bed into your fists as he doesn't waste a single second. His digits pump in and out of you, curling inside of you right against your 'special spot'.

You push his hand away, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge the faster he goes with his skilled fingers. He looks up at you with his big brown eyes tinted with confusion and slightly worry, hoping he didnt do anything wrong.

"i need you Tate. Right fucking now." you huff, pulling him up by his hair while a devious smirk spreads onto his lips. Your hand reaches out and picks up the headshell, dropping the needle back onto the record so the song restarts.

Without any warning, he slides into you, letting out a groan as he does so. His hands grip your hips, giving you a few seconds before his hips begin to move at a slow pace, quickly becoming a much faster pace once he knows your fine with it.

"Oh my god y/n. You feel so good!" he grunts as his balls slap against your ass with each sharp thrust, every single one hitting your g-spot.

'you and me baby, we aint nothin' but mammals so lets do it like the do on the discovery channel'

"im way too turned on by this holy shit!" Tate goans. Your nails dig into his shoulders, leaving deep crecent marks in place of them. Your legs wrapped around his waist, tilting your body upwards ever so slightly and giving him the perfect angle to continuously slam into your g-spot.

"T-tate, im gonna cum if you keep it up like that," you practically squeal, the shaky feeling in your legs getting more powerful. Within seconds your seeing stars, Tates thrusts not slowing down at all, his hips still relentlessly pounding into you. You feel your tight walls getting overstimulated, small whimpers slipping from your lips as tears prick your eyes.

"Agh! Fuck!" Tate grunts into your ear, soon pulling out and pumping his member. His sticky, warm ropes of semen making a mess on your stomach and breasts.

Tate collapsed down besides you, pulling you into a hug and taking a deep inhale of your hair, helping him come back down to earth.

"ew your sweaty!" you joke, letting out a small giggle as you wiggle around, trying to escape his tight and humid grasp.

"mmn.. I wanna smell your hair." i pouts playfully, hugging you tighter and burrying his face into your neck.

A/n: thank you to that one person that gave me the encouragement to make this!

Thanks for reading! <3

[deejadabbles]

My ding-ding-dong (Fives x Reader) Humor

Summary: after a bad week at work, your boyfriend just wants to make you breathless.

Rating: T+

A.N: Everyone please go read A Question of Seman-dicks by @dystopicjumpsuit it's hilarious and reading it this morning got me into writing gear to pop this insanity out! @freesia-writes I'm determined to help you make this kind of fic a thing 😂

Word Count: 962

Songs to ~set the mood~ Ding Dong Song by Gunther and Bad Touch by bloodhound gang

Warnings: crude humor, cursing, Fives being Fives, suggestive situations

“I swear to the maker, one of these days!”

Fives watched as you cleaned up the kitchen, putting dishes away in the most aggressive manner he had ever seen as you vented about your week. He wanted to reach out and rub your back in comfort, but the way you slammed the cabinet shut made him think better of it.

“And I know why he’s decided to start drama with me,” you continued, grabbing the knife you had used to cut up dinner, “it’s because I stood up to him, because I didn’t take his condescending, mansplaining, bantha-shit attitude and put him in his place when he tried it on me.” Despite being nowhere in striking distance, Fives still took a step back when you kept the knife in hand as you raged. “So now he’s determined to make me look bad- well game on, bitch! He hasn’t even seen my ugly side yet!”

Fives half expected you to impale the knife into the counter like a declaration of war, but thankfully, you just tossed it in the knife drawer and slammed it shut. Finally, when you ran your hands over your tired face, he closed the distance between you and put an arm around your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, babe, he’s a shithead and doesn’t deserve you as a coworker.”

Warmth filled his chest when you leaned into him, melting at his touch as you blinked up to meet his eyes. “No, I’m sorry,” you let out a defeated sigh, “your shore leave just started and here I am whining about work when I should be focused on you.”

He kissed the top of your head, “Stop that, mesh’la, you needed to vent, you were under a lot of stress this week. I would have held you sooner, but figured it was best to wait til you weren’t armed with serrated kitchenware.”

That made you chuckle a little and the warmth in his chest grew. He wanted to hear a proper laugh from you, a real one that might melt your troubles away.

Oh, that could work. He could practically see the light bulb that went off over his own head as an idea came.

“Hey,” he mumbled as he kept kissing the top of your head, “want me to make you forget your shitty week?”

You turned in his arms, an interested, knowing smirk on your pretty mouth, “Oh, I’d love that, handsome.”

Making sure to put on his best smolder, he took your hand and guided you across your apartment until you got to the bedroom. “Just lay back, beautiful, I’m going to make you howl,” he said, choosing his words very carefully.

The way you raised a brow just a little said you caught it, but you sat on the bed all the same. He followed, pecking your lips as he gently pressed your back to the mattress.

"I'm gonna make you feel soooo good, sweetheart," he said running his hands up your sides in a way that had you biting your lip.

He couldn't wait to have you gasping from the words his mind was thinking up. Just a little more teasing to set the mood...

Fives trailed his mouth down your neck, then back up to your ear, nipping it before he whispered, “Are you ready?”

“Yes-”

“Ready for my trouser snake?”

You choked instantly.

“Wut?”

Fives leaned back, smile bright as he rolled his hips dramatically, “Come on, baby, my man meat is right here.”

That’s when the nervous chuckles started, “ ‘Man meat?! What are you-?”

“My love sausage is ready to serve.”

“Oh my god!”

He rubbed his thighs in a mock of a seductive pose, “You know my little soldier is standing at attention for you!”

That’s the one that had you busting out in a full laugh, double funny considering there was nothing ‘little’ about Fives.

“You can ride my disco stick aaaalllll night!”

Your hand flew up to cover your face as the laughter became more ragged, the other hand holding your side. Oh, Fives wasn’t done yet, not even close!

He started fumbling with his belt in exaggerated movements, “Let me just unleash my custard launcher.”

“Custard- Fives STOOOOP!” it came out a wheeze, and he saw some tears of joy collecting in the corner of your eyes.

“What?” he leaned over you again caging you with his arms as he looked you over, “I thought you loved my massive king kong dong!”

You couldn’t form words anymore, just slapping weakly at his chest as you tried to draw breath into your lungs between strained laughter. Now to move in for the kill.

“My tallywacker,” he leaned in closer, dropping his voice, “my wiener,” then lips to your ear and in his most seductive tone, “my ding-a-ling.”

When you shoved at him, Fives pulled back, smiling at his handy work as you rolled over, clutching your sides and trying to breathe through the delighted wheezing. Well, you certainly weren’t thinking about work now, and Fives thought a smug ‘mission accomplished’ to himself as the fit continued.

He watched as your breathing started to even out, a few happy tears wetting your cheeks, smile bright, eyes alight.

“Damn, you’re beautiful when you laugh,” he said and this time, his tone was completely genuine.

Now that you could finally form coherent thoughts again, you rolled onto your back again and grinned at him, “Then I guess it’s a good thing I have a man who makes me laugh.”

He couldn’t help it, he dove in and kissed you, long and deep this time, loving, doting. Kriff, he adored you.

“Thank you,” a content whisper against his lips, “you always make me feel better.”

“Can’t be a perfect boyfriend without skills like that,” he hummed, then, “now, are you ready to get breathless for a whole different reason?”

You threw your arms around him giggling as you pulled him in for another kiss, “Please.”

.

Tag list: @blueink-bluesoul @anxiouspineapple99 @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @commander-sunshine @dystopicjumpsuit @wolffegirlsunite @sunshinesdaydream @arcsimper5

[spnregular]

do the shampoo fic

like my wafflehouse hashbrowns is the second installment in my "bad touch" series, named for the bloodhound gang song. this is a dom!dean fic where lol you just have to hear me out!!!!!!! dom!dean is a silly concept but when the stars align it like rlly hits. tagging @ragdollsammy bc they asked about this as well!

Dean cobbled a shopping list together in his mind while running his fingers through Cas’s chest and arm hair. It was nice that Cas slept now. Dean could look at him in peace.

crucially dom!dean is about cas btw, this is about cas thinking it's hot

Once he really couldn’t deny the need to piss, Dean finally got up, pressing a kiss to Cas’s temple as he rose. Dean knew Cas wasn’t going too far. He’d be waiting when Dean came home. 

In my perfect world, cas and dean have the bunker to themselves. Dean is in full housewife mode nesting and making sure everything is perfect for his man and his boys when theyre in town. Also dean knows everything ok, no one gets anything by him bc he buys everything! Also i despite how i get on dean’s case all the time, i spend a lot of time also thinking about how soft destiel can be once dean lets go of other things. like once he stops hunting and isnt around sam all the time.

Dean paced up and down the aisle grabbing at dumb shit. Sam and Eileen were in town for the weekend so Dean knew he’d have to pick up some extra stuff. For all that Dean stole a little ointment from time to time, Sam was a fucking menace with hair stuff. Dean couldn’t believe how much product went in to maintaining that fucking mop of his. Equally unbelievable, was how prissy Sam could get about brands. It all had to be good for the environment, no chemicals n’ shit. All code for expensive. Dean sighed before taking his phone out.

Dean and gender….. Also dean really does believe sam is a lil self centered lmao he’s so crazy

Sam huffed out a laugh, “Dean, you still use three-in-one. That stuff sucks.”

“Then tell me why I was always running out of it for the entire year of 2013,” Dean clapped back.

So dean uses three in one bc men shouldnt have more than two soaps at a time obviously and 2013 is an attempt at referencing sam’s s8 hair because he was soooooo beautiful lmfao like they should have kept that stylist around.

Dean blinked. Cas was terrible at shopping. “Whaddyou mean ‘Cas got you some stuff’?”

Remember when cas knocked over half a gas station trying to put together an apology basket for his man….

“He, uh,” Sam hesitated, “He’s already got some stuff that’s really good. Organic and local.”

When cas showed sam how to jerk off the plant, sam almost had a heart attack bc i believe that cas was jerking that thang silly. Actually sam’s reaction is what clued cas into it being akin to an erotic experience for humans (cas would already find it erotic). But here, sam does not want dean to know that he found cas harvesting the plant super horny bc dean can be a lil possessive. That’s dean’s angel u kno…..

“Whatever, Dean,” Sam said, “See you back at the bunker. You’re out of Cheerios, by the way.”

I like to laugh abt cereal discourse

“You remembered the bags this time,” Cas said, smiling more with his eyes than his mouth, “Sam will be pleased.”

Dean grunted in response before leaning in to kiss Cas on the cheek, “Y’wanna help me get this all put away?”

“Of course, Dean,” Cas placed his book face down, splayed out along the already cracked spine.

“You know, he ain’t gonna be too pleased when he sees you been practically spatchcocking his books,” Dean said as he worked, mentally cataloging each dry good and dairy product. This should last a few days despite the few extra mouths. 

“Oh, well,” Cas said, not pausing a bit as he moved through the kitchen. 

They both love sam a lot, but also cas doesn’t give a shit what sam thinks whereas dean kinda does.

Dean snorted. They moved in the sort of quiet that only came from hard-earned understanding.  The sort of trust you had to fight for. What they had wasn’t perfect– still plenty of bumps in the road, still plenty of loud fights and disappearing and saying shit they didnt’t really mean– but they fucking worked for it. 

Dean smiled to himself when they finished. Everything was squared away where it should be: snack cupboard overflowing, fruit bowl filled for Sam, and Dean’s hip glued to the back of Cas’s ass as he pulled him in for a hug.

Everything is by dean’s design….. As it should be obviously…..

“Hey, you gone shopping recently?”

Cas pulled back to look up at Dean, “No. You hate when I go shopping without you.”

Dean does not think cas is capable of getting the right stuff at the store and has Made This Known. Not great lol, but cas is fine to defer to dean’s greater wisdom of humanity anyway.

Cas tilted his head, “He’s not mooching, Dean. There is plenty to go around. You’re welcome to some if you’d like. I’ve noticed that you like how it smells.”

Dean felt his neck heat up, “You noticed me sniffin’ you?”

Cas nodded, doing that eye smile thing again. Dean’s stomach swooped. 

“It’s comforting,” Cas said.

I got really soft in my chest writing this bit because well, theyre in love…. And doing cute things….

What Cas called a garden, most would call a patch of weeds. It sat about a quarter of a mile away from the bunker, nestled away in the woods. When Cas said he wanted a garden, Dean pictured sunflowers, rose bushes, maybe some zucchini. Something more like what you’d see in a Thomas Kincade calendar. The greenery that Cas cultivated… was a little different from that.

So gardening is a total made up fanon cas bit that i employed just to make this fic work. Im not opposed to most fanon cas headcanons like gardening or reading i just think that if you do it it should be weird. Like i think cas would be so intimately aware of what he puts in his compost and would like watch it decompose. Another thing he would find erotic.

Dean could never make heads or tails of it. Cas insisted that most everything was native to the area, no invasives, whatever that meant, but it just looked like a mess of weird leaves and nasty mushroom logs. Sure there were flowers, but nothing Dean knew the name of. Once, Dean asked if anything was poisonous and Cas told him not to touch anything. Didn’t have to tell Dean twice.

Cas clearly seemed to know where and what everything was because he led Dean through it all, all confident. He quietly instructed Dean to watch his step every so often. Don’t touch those flowers. Be careful of the bees. There were mole holes there, be careful.

Yeah, Dean didn’t get it but it made him fuzzy inside that Cas did. 

Have you heard that dean thinks cas is a cute lil guy…….

“This thing’s from Hawaii?” Dean leaned in over Cas. It did smell really good, “Thought you were doin’ a native only garden?”

“The plant originates in South Asia, if I recall,” Cas trailed his thumb up and down the fat, thick ridges of the pinecone. Dean blinked fast when he saw Cas’s thumb coming away shiny, “And mostly native.”

I didnt add this detail but cas uses what’s left of his grace to keep the garden going. Keeping a shampoo ginger plant alive in a heavily shaded forest would be nigh impossible without divine intervention.

Something flashed in Cas’s eyes, “Generally, I come to you for a ‘little tug’. But, yes, I harvest the gel for my hair regularly.” With his clean hand, he dug into his pocket to pull out an empty bottle. He rubbed his hand along the rim, collecting what he could and letting the rest fall.

This may be a dom dean fic, but honestly cas does know how to push dean’s buttons. Like theyre dog4dog you know. Also i feel like i did cas a lil ooc with the “i come to you for a lil tug” line bc i dont think cas is one for wordplay but i wanted to get him flirting

Dean raised an eyebrow. Cas was pulling out all the stops here, big blue eyes, mouth parted, hair tousled, just begging for Dean’s fingers to grip and run through it. The fucking kneeling on the ground. Dean was getting played, he knew he was getting played. 

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean said, a lazy smile slowly sprawling across his face, “Where do you want me?” 

Cas absolutely knows that dean gets a kick out of teaching him stuff and well cas likes it too.  Nevermind that cas is a capable person (debatable in dean’s mind), cas likes knowing that he’s doing what dean wants.

Cas angled the bottle to follow their hands, collecting what he could. Almost seemed pointless. The plant was so wet, just gushing out in a constant stream of sticky, tacky fluid. Dean took in a sharp breath when Cas rearranged their fingers, so slightly, just to run his wet thumb along the broadside of Dean’s wrist. Their hands were almost at the tip, so close, and the bottle was almost full. Some of it splashed onto Dean’s boots and the ground beneath them was soaked, the liquid pooling deep. Dean’s mouth parted to exhale, his tongue heavy between his teeth.

So, i love to make the mundane erotic and i get so horny about plants lmfao.

Dean placed his other hand on Cas’s head and dabbed lightly at the gel collecting along his hairline. Cas looked up at him, his face open and eyes wanting. They closed so slowly when Dean’s hands moved, scratching his scalp and cupping the back of his head. Dean’s dick twitched at the sight.

Cas grunted and threw his head back, clearly reveling in the feeling of Dean’s touch. More gel fell down his forehead and neck. Dean’s hand tightened in his hair and he tugged lightly. 

“Don’t move unless I say you can,” Dean said, pulling Cas’s head forward.

Ok here’s where the domming begins. Dean LOVES to take care of things. He knows what’s best and he likes knowing that he can do something other than hurt people. He looooves to provide. But, you gotta follow the rules, you gotta do it right. Also dean loves to Look at the Angel. Especially when he’s covered in plant come (see title: i want you smothered want you covered like my wafflehouse hashbrowns)

“You know how I take care of my things. Keep ‘em clean, fine tuned,” Dean said, “Just like Baby.” 

Cas’s eyes widened, nodding in agreement with Dean.

“You like that?” Dean asked, his eyes hooded.

Cas nodded again. His eyes were so beautiful, framed in dark, wet lashes. Fuck– Cas was so beautiful, face flushed, sopping, dripping wet, hair mussed and wrapped around Dean’s fingers. He was looking up at Dean like he was waiting for a miracle to unfold. Dean bit his lip.

“I’m gonna take care of you just like that, okay?” Dean said and tugged on Cas’s hair, finally pulling him closer, “You gonna let me?”

Cas, jaw slack and shoulders relaxed, whispered out, “Of course.”

So the baby comparison lol. This seems to be why people love this fic and i must confess, this is an idea inspired by the issues series by everandanon. In the third installment of the series, cas is watching dean fuss and smile over trinkets from his childhood and cas wants to be something that dean cherishes and covets and keeps tucked away in a similar way. And then they have very very intense sex, you should read that series it’s very good. But reading that was sort of a eureka moment for me like cas wants dean to want to keep him. He wants to be dean’s special guy and he wants dean to care for him like a special treasure. And what possession does dean care for the most? His car. Dean’s car is like a religious idol to him, he worships it. So now cas is hearing that he’s in the same category as dean’s most precious and most reliable possession? He’s finna bust a nut.

Dean ran his hands through Cas’s soapy, wet hair so slow. When you had the opportunity to take care of an angel, you had to do it right. Dean scratched harder when Cas moaned, rubbed softer when Cas moaned. Dean was driving, but Cas was wayfinding. 

Before long, Dean couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t washed every inch of Cas’s head at least three times over. He couldn’t ignore the ache in his groin either, the way his dick pulsed with every little sound Cas made.

Dean also washes baby like this, over and over and he gets aroused by it. Caring for things makes him feel so good, so important. He likes to think he’s the only one who can really take care of the ones he loves in the right way. Doing stuff like this helps him feel that way.

Cas opened his mouth wide to fit as much of Dean as he could in his mouth. Dean’s dick lay on Cas’s tongue, undoubtedly heavy and fat. The wet heat of Cas’s tongue, the tiny movements pressed against the underside of Dean’s dick, had Dean feeling lightheaded. Cas didn’t move, didn’t suck, didn’t bob his head. Dean moved his hand in Cas’s hair again, prompting a long moan from Cas. The vibration of it took the air right from Dean’s lungs and he tugged on Cas’s hair. It was a fuckin’ feedback loop; the more Dean pulled and massaged the more Cas moaned and groaned and the more Dean pulled and his chest heaved. 

“Fuck, angel,” Dean said, “Keep it together.”

The short cockwarming portion of this fic is bc i like to think abt dean having trouble maintaining an erection. But the combination of cas’s mouth and cas doing what he’s told?? He’s got this one. Also this is very fun for cas bc he wants to go to town on that thang so bad but the tension and anticipation of dean telling him what to do just wins over.

“I’m gonna keep drivin’, okay?” Dean said, “Don’t. Don’t move, okay?”

Cas nodded so slightly, barely moving his head, but even that small action had Dean’s balls aching. 

Driving a car is like having sex to dean and vice versa of course. Drivers are the ones in total control and it’s their job to be in charge and keep everyone safe and happy.

Cas’s hands gripped the bottoms of his jeans, and even though that counted as moving, Dean let him have it. Sent a rush through Dean how much Cas liked it, how it made him handsy. When they first got together, Dean was afraid to touch the guy– thought he’d smother and choke him. Imagine if Dean realized ten years ago that Cas wasn’t above breaking any rules, if it meant he’d get to touch Dean. 

Destiel always gets me bc dean thinks he’s gonna hurt everyone but he doesnt realize that cas is a glutton for pain. And well yeah dean hurts cas a lot but cas….. He wants it lmao. Dean’s love IS smothering, it’s like freakin smoke, pervasive and you can really choke on it. But that’s sort of what cas is looking for, something all consuming that he can commit his entire being to. Two guys who love codependence…. well dean doesnt like it per se, but c'est la vie

“Stay with me, sweetheart,” Dean said, “Move your hand.”

“W-Wha–” Cas breathed out.

“On the red thing,” Dean said, slowing his pace on Cas’s dick, “Jerk off the flower for me.”

Purely horny reasoning here. Dean really likes watching cas engage in sexual acts even if theyre not with him (see life skills by ilovehowyouletmefall). Dean has such complicated feelings towards sex. This flower thing is perfect to watch bc it’s like a dick so dean can see his own dick in cas’s hand but ALSO it’s a flower…. Delicate…. It can get really beat up if you’re too rough with it…. Having a gender moment…..

Cas immediately latched onto Dean’s neck, sucking and biting hard. Dean sharply inhaled, his heart hammering in his chest. He reached his hand further into Cas’s pants to cup his balls. Things were so tight, Dean wasn’t sure how he hadn’t busted his load yet. He moved his hand back to Cas’s dick and squeezed hard again. Cas moaned into his neck and bit at the at bend of Dean’s jaw, licking and sucking like his life depended on it. His hand still worked hard at the plant, bruising its red flesh. Dean didn’t think Cas would be able to reuse this particular bloom again. The ridges were crumpled and the whole thing was falling apart. Cas shook under Dean’s hands.

Dean likes to be KISSED and LATCHED onto…. Mommy moment….  And he likes that cas is fucking the flower up, losing control (this is a thing for me, i love when cas loses control with dean)

“Come on,” Dean whispered into Cas’s ear, nipping at the lobe, “I got you.”

Cas moaned Dean’s name. The sound was almost a sob, but Dean couldn’t see his face to be sure. Dean squeezed Cas’s dick harder, back to that same crushing pressure. Dean’s hand was starting to chafe, but he didn’t want to let go of Cas to get more gel, didn’t want to stop touching him, didn’t want to stop hearing him cry out and tremble. 

This is a thing for them both. Dean HAS cas. Like cas belongs to dean meaning dean is gonna take care of him and dean is gonna make sure that it’s gonna be okay even when things seem overwhelming.

Cas’s arms immediately wrapped Dean and he pressed their lips into a crushing kiss. Dean let him have his way, opening his mouth wide. He rubbed Cas’s back, up and down, up and down, all soft and shit. Every time it got intense, they always made sure to follow it up with the soft shit. Turned Cas into angelic pudding every time. 

It’s not “aftercare” (it is) but dean doesn’t know bdsm rules. They have never negotiated a kink onnce in their lives. They just know it feels nice to be sweet on each other. :)

Dinner was great, as it always was when Dean had any control over it. He made something for everyone, letting the pride wash over him as everyone smiled into their plates, getting up from the table with full bellies. Even though Sam always gave Dean shit for unbuckling his belt at dinner, Dean caught him doing the same fuckin’ shit. It was good.

Everybody helped clear the table, but somehow Sam and Dean got stuck doin’ dishes, Cas and Eileen making themselves conveniently scarce when the time came. Secretly, Dean was pretty okay with that. Reminded him of all the small and simple moments they used to have, between all the bullshit. 

Dean’s rose colored glasses on the past lmao. Also dean believes he knows what everyone wants and it only gets worse when he’s right.

“Yeah, but you tell her you were jerkin’ it with, Cas?”

“Dean!” Sam almost dropped the plate in his hands.

“Hey, I don’t have any problems with it!” Dean shrugged, biting the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing, “But maybe Eileen might not like you fondling some aka pooki plant with my man.”

Dean thinks it’s funny bc obviously sam knows the optics of the situation. If dean had walked in on cas giving sam a demonstration he would have no reacted so well imo. Ive written a smubble where sam and dean share cas, but that is something i think works best in a pre season 9 world.

“Now you’re being racist,” Sam said. “Oh, now I can’t call out my brother when he plays slippery pickle with a guy I’m fucking,” Dean said, rolling his eyes, “Because of woke.”

absolutely ridiculous of me but i love thinking about dean as a sort of modern archie bunker type character. he knows the whole thing is ridiculous here but he loves to push sam's buttons lol

[psychozenni]

Intro post cuz l've been on this site for years without posting and most definitely need one :V

Val/Vince/Vic | Trans masc Genderqueer & Achillean

l use any pronouns, but preferably he/they/vamp in a more platonic way !!

Audhd + BPD and prolly some other shit that I refuse to look into D:

Main interests/Hyperfixations include: Creepypasta, The Eltingville Club, Sally Face, Criminal Minds, and Sonic

Special Interests: Social Justice, Sociology, Psychology, Criminology, and Patterns

I am a yumeshipper !! My main men are Ticci Toby, Jerry Stokes, Steve Harrington and Sebastian (sdv) !!

I only have a ship name for Toby (Bloodhound) and Jerry (DiceDresser) tho :C

I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEE ANIME !! FMA, TDLOSK, Blue Exorcist, Black Butler, Dandadan, JJK, MHA, Fairytail, and too many more to count =~=

Also I draw sometimes, but it's usually only traditional, and I LOVE writing :D I have so many fics just rotting in my notes app so if anyone ever wants me to write smth | will :3

Music wise I kinda listen to anything, but my main artists/bands rn are: Mitski (saw her live 1/27/24), Chase Atlantic, Bloodhound Gang, WayV and Stray Kids (whenever l'm using my cd player)

I stan a LOT of groups, but my main ones include:

Stray Kids, PHarmony (saw em live 5/17/24), Nmixx, Ateez, TxT, Girls Generation, CLC, Cherry Bullet (rip) and like a bajillion more...

Gonna put some of my oc/persona art for The Eltingville Club here, my art style ain't really good but I also don't care so !!

Anyways, intro done erm I love my brothers Zion, Aya, and Will and I love my friends Momo, Ife, Star, Jasmine, Ash, Jace, Ica, Robyn, and Aksel :3 (half of em don't even know I have this acc el em ay oh)

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

I wanted to share some of my writing after. Not doing anything creative for Months so, this is what I have of a fic I’m working on! Or plan to work on!

Dutch was in a bad way.

You'd known him to be from the start. Something about that man and the way he spoke, did things, just never sat right with you. Only then you didn't have a basis for your unease toward him. But now, after everything that happened in Blackwater and the absolute mess it'd caused, hell, even during it… Now you did. The two deaths of fellow members had cemented that fact for you, even if you hadn't known them well. It set the picture for an eerie future and an even worse fate. 

Although you'd never known Dutch to be a liar, and with all of his talk of having a plan, you didn't think he was lying. He meant it, you could tell. Somewhere in his increasingly troubled and sick mind, he told himself he had one. Warped, convoluted and confused that plan may be, but to him, with his brain being the same way as it, nothing seemed clearer. More obvious. But even then, he was still telling people to have faith in a plan they didn't understand, couldn't make sense of. Inadvertently, he wanted them all to have blind trust. And for some, that came easier than others. 

Micah was the first person to come to mind. With Micah though, it didn't seem like real blind trust. It was something else entirely. Maybe the illusion of it, you weren't sure. You didn't trust him, at all. He sniffed out vulnerability like a bloodhound, and there was plenty to be found within Dutch. He sought out the weak and sick to feed off whatever they had left to give. And Dutch had a high inheritance. Javier, though, seemed to have more of an innocent trust. He was obedient and had faith in Dutch as a leader because of the authority that title held. Inherent respect. Inherent obedience without question. A guard dog and its handler. 

Arthur used to serve that role, only it lacked dignity. Maybe he said it did, but his serving of the gang leader was never done with pride or honor. It felt more like a quiet shame. Like he had to disconnect from himself, his mind, his heart, to do the things Dutch asked of him. They were never pretty things. But he never expected them to be pretty, and that was why he kept doing it. 

What, really, did he expect? For peace to follow the trail of blood he left? He could dream of it, make it the softest of dreams, but they'd always remain that way. Dreams. He saw them in the clouds when he looked up, and he saw them again when storm clouds sunk low over the abandoned town of Colter.

_____

"How're you holdin up, Simon?"

"Fine, considering." 

Simon was you. Or at least, that was the name you gave people. You were an academic, a scientist in the making. Attending college while riding with a gang would be made all the more difficult if you gave your full name to register. Or stayed long enough to be notable.

"Good. And that chemistry set of yours? Makin progress with that too?" Arthur asks. You liked him. He wasn't much of a social man, but he was always very pleasant to you when you did talk with him.

"Yes, that too. I'm going to need more supplies soon, but I've made some good advancements. I'll have this medication ready for testing shortly." 

Arthur nods, rolling his shoulders before sitting down next to you on a cabin's porch stairs with a quiet grunt. He dusts the snow off his pants and kicks it from the toes of his boots. 

"Y'should make a cure for bein cold next,"

"I'd say there is one already. Blankets and suitable shelter, but…" You motion to the state of your current camp, and Arthur's gaze follows your hand. 

"But we ain't got none of that. Yeah, I know." 

No one had changed their clothes in days. They went to sleep in their full winter gear and stayed like that throughout because it was so cold you could see your own breath constantly. And that might've been fine for a little while, but if the gang was expected to keep functioning at the same rate it had been, it'd need supplies or someplace else to go, fast. You knew Arthur was thinking the same.

"…How much longer are we going to be here, Arthur? We can't stay. People are going to start getting sick. Especially the little one, Jack." 

Arthur nods as you speak, and turns his head to stare down at the snow below his feet. You can see his sigh more than you can hear it.

"I know. I'll… Talk to Dutch, I guess. But with John back, I reckon we'll be moving along soon enough."

"'Soon enough' might be too late. Especially for John as well, because he's already in a bad state from those wolves." You say. "I'll go with you on a supply hunt, Arthur. Even if we don't end up needing them now, we always will in the future."

He scoffs, and you feel yourself inwardly bristle up like an upset cat. 

"You? Doc, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you can't hardly shoot a gun, let alone be trusted to hold yourself in a fight." 

"Maybe not. But that's why I'd be going along with you. Besides, I know what we need and what would help us the most out of everybody." You say. "I'm not completely useless." 

"I didn't say that, Jesus." He huffs, shaking his head. You can see the beginnings of a smile play across his lips. 

"You imply it." 

"Just cus you're smart don't mean you know everythin about what a man's thinking, Doc."

"Well, you don't hide your thoughts very well." Arthur watches as you stand up with an inconvenienced huff, smoothing your feathers-your coat-out. "Are we going out or not?" 

"Fine, fine. I guess. Cmon." 

The mountains felt even colder away from signs of humanity, how little of a sign your gang showed in Colter. You weren't sure how the horses felt, with the snow directly against their thin legs, but it couldn't have been pleasant. They would need blankets too, not just the human members of the group. You were certain, actually, because they'd be staying outside in the stables.

"Even the horses are getting cold." You told Arthur, moving one of your hands from his waist to the horse's flank, its muscles twitching under your light touch. It felt like the snow around it. Not even lukewarm anymore.

"Well…" He began, shifting his weight on the saddle. "I'm sure they might be, but we got more important members of the gang to look after right now."

"You can't go anywhere without horses, you know."

"I don't think they'll drop dead because of a little cold, Simon." 

You just huff and bite your tongue to resist the urge to argue any further. It was difficult, sometimes, to have discussions, because you both had to be right at all times, even for the stupidest things. You were sure constantly butting heads like that made you both even denser. And even less aware of that fact.

The area you were riding through didn't look too different from Colter, only more desolate and isolating. Ignoring that you could easily die out here and be covered up by more snow in a matter of minutes, it was almost peacefully melancholic. The trees stood looming over everything they watched, silent guardians for the thin, delicate intricacies of nature's balance. If things became unorderly, the snow from atop their branches would drop amidst the suffocating silence, calling attention to the wrong and unwelcome creature that was you.

You'd always respected nature in that regard. Nature was not wholesome, but she was not evil, either. 

The concept felt familiar. 

[sheree-says-stuff]

What are your favorite South Park headcanons? 🖖🏻

It took me ten million years to respond to this because I don't really have SP headcannons (besides my AU fics) so I had to make a list!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR ASKING, I LOVE GETTING ASKS!!!!

Kyle

i'm an average-height kyle truther. he's no shorter than 5'9" but no taller than 5'11".

horror movie fanatic but probably threw up while watching midsommar (and never finished it).

^ also a giant Scream fan. owns so much ghostface merch.

probably chubby.

straight as a board. he is so heteronormative, it's not even funny.

favorite bands are Bloodhound Gang and Insane Clown Posse but his guilty pleasure is Conan Gray (and cartman makes fun of him for it)

insomniac. bro CANNOT sleep ‼️

Kenny

tall kenny is the only valid take for me. he is 6'2" for sure and he uses his height to be intimidating when he wants to be.

when he's older, he moves to Italy with Cartman (don't ask how either of them afford it, just go with it)

he for sure writes fics about himself on a burner account.

is really good at school without having to study. naturally quick to learn.

is straight but will do anything for money (hey, $20 is $20!)

can talk to the dead and/or supernatural. can tell when ghosts are around.

COVERED in scars

Stan

short and skinny. i'm talking 5'6".

idkw but i imagine him being mexican, or at least partially mexican.

chronically depressed (and probably has OCD) but not an alcoholic or substance user.

hates weed because he grew up on a weed farm.

you cannot convince me that he doesn't watch Family Guy.

will sleep anywhere in any position.

closeted bisexual.

Cartman

is really good at playing instruments, becomes a famous lead singer in a pop band

is actually really intelligent but refuses to apply himself in school.

sent to boarding school, came back unrecognizable

football player, probably a quarterback

i really like the intersex cartman theory

doesn't believe in evolution or science

probably has a lot of trauma

Other characters:

Butters is blind in one eye from the Weapons episode

Butters is also extremely Type A as he grows up

Wendy, Heidi, Nicole, and Bebe don't have social media for feminist reasons

Jimmy can rap better than Eminem

Tweek loves true crime but is scared of FNaF

the only person who loves b@relyhuman more than Tweek is Craig

[fruitybashir]

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

i do still think kris and bojan both forgetting about valentines day was pretty hilarious but ill be honest, i think the most recent fic title is the funniest ive done. at least im having a good laugh about it

like the whole song as a vibe but then especially that line as title bc its so fitting its just. exactly my kinda humour lol

also shoutout to @itskrejsaitsparty bc i was contemplating fic titles til the very last second and was like haha would it be funny if i used that song and then we both simultaneously thought of the same line like--- fate

[chaos-monkeyy]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Tagged by @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, thank you!! 😍 I so love a good excuse to look at ✨stats✨, this was really fun!

AO3 writing stats

215,218 words over 96 fics (including collabs 💕)

Average of 2,241 words per fic

Also this year I broke 1 million lifetime words on AO3 🎉

I wrote at least one fic in every category! (in order from most to least: M/M, Multi, F/M, Other, Gen, F/F)

Top 5 works by kudos

That thing (Venom)

Sweet Silence (OFMD)

Take me to bed (Good Omens)

Ease the Need (Venom)

Kept Waiting (Loki series)

Fandoms

I wrote for 15 different top-level fandoms, or 25 if I break it down into sub-fandoms:

Baldur's Gate III

Cosmere - Mistborn, Stormlight Archive, Sunlit Man, Warbreaker

Cytoverse / Skyward

Dresden Files

Echoes

Good Omens

Legend of Vox Machina

MCU - Loki series, Venom

Original Works

Our Flag Means Death

RPF - Bloodhound Gang

Sandman

Star Trek - Strange New Worlds, Discovery

Star Wars - Andor, SWtoR, Thrawn series + Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy

Stargate SG1 + Atlantis

Witcher

Most-written fandoms:

Stormlight Archive (29)

Stargate Atlantis (15)

Star Trek Strange New Worlds (10)

Stargate SG1 (9)

Tags and more

Most-written characters:

John Sheppard (13)

Evan Lorne (11)

Chris Pike (10)

Adolin Kholin (8)

Most-written ships:

Evan Lorne / John Sheppard (9)

Loki / Mobius (6)

OMC/OMC (5)

..annnd then it's a five-way tie 😂 3 fics each for Ronon Dex / John Sheppard; Cam Mitchell / John Sheppard; Shallan Davar / Adolin Kholin; Kaladin / Teft; Renarin Kholin / Teft

Top Additional Tags:

Blow Jobs (16)

Masturbation (14)

Alcohol, Age Difference, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot all tied for third place (11)

Ratings breakdown:

Explicit (71)

Mature (12)

Teen+ (8)

Gen (5)

--

Tagging @trainofcommand because I know how you feel about stats and excuses for graphs and such 😏 And anyone else who sees this and wants to do one too! Copying the rules / guidelines from my tagger:

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

[jackassbrainrot]

could u PLEASE write hcs/ story about jimmy pop dating a girl who’s like of the cky/ viva la bam persuasion? Like she was in the cky movies or whatever and now she’s dating jimmy ❤️ lots of love, ur writing is bomb

a/n: oh I've been waiting for this one! I love writing for Jimmy so much and this gave me inspo for another fic so thank u sm anon. could be read as gn!reader as well

jimmy pop + cky gf hcs

literally the funniest couple ever (so much banter)

calls you his favorite groupie

most guys would be concerned when their girlfriend fucks up a stunt but jimmy? he laughs his ass off every time you get hurt

"I don't think they got that, you should go again" "fuck you jimmy"

so much pda it's disgusting

he will literally shove his tongue down your throat in public, he does not care

will basically dry hump you every time you bend over

"you two are fucking disgusting" - all of your friends on any given day

being in bhg's music videos!

going to all of his PA shows

so secure in your relationship neither of you get mad when someone flirts with you

"why'd you reject her!" "because I'm with you?" "but she was hot!"

a bunch of your inside jokes making it into his songs <3

doing his "gay voice" when giving you compliments

hitting on you constantly even though you're together

"are you a baker? because those buns are hot!" "we're breaking up"

suddenly having not one but two groups of men trying to annoy you 24/7

"you are NOT making my boyfriend kiss vito" "but it'd be funny :("

truly one of those "best friends first, partners second" relationships

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist Vol.2

Decided to just remake the ship playlist I made a while ago instead of editing it because I'm lazy I got a lot of new songs to add and I don't want the original list to stay buried under all of my other nonsense posts. Will keep it pinned until I bother making my blog navigation masterpost

Special thank you to everyone who offered me song suggestions, whether in DMs, replies to the OG post, or in my ask inbox! I've really enjoyed a lot of the music I've come across because of you guys, both for ship reasons and in general. Consider this playlist a group project you helped put together! (And please feel welcome to keep sending suggestions, the list is ever-expanding and I actually will come back and update this periodically)

🔺Burning Spice's POV

🧀Golden Cheese's POV

Bold = song is particularly ship-coded imo

(*) I just think it's cute/funny/I like imagining them dancing/singing to it together

(**) non-English song, look up English translation for ship feels plz

(***) wrote a fic inspired by the song at least to some degree haha

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺***

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺*

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀**

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺***

Jack Black - Peaches🔺*

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀***

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺*

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺***

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺***

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - The Death Of Peace Of Mind🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - Favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch 🔺*

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺**

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(🧀 at some parts)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺

Buerak - Культ Tела🔺**

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - Baby One More Time🔺*

Blue Kid - Have To 🧀

Queens of the Stone Age - The Way You Used to Do🔺

Meg Myers - Desire🔺🧀

Blooom - Be Around🔺🧀

Carla's Dreams - Scara 2, Etajul 7🔺🧀**

Mondays (feat. Lucy) - Crazy For Love🔺*

Stela Cole - Love Like Mine 🧀

blackbear - queen of broken hearts🔺

Maneskin - I Wanna Be Your Slave🔺

Jason Derulo, Michael Bublé - Spicy Margarita🔺

Maretu - New Darling🔺**

Biz x ZERA (feat. SARM) - Schadenfreude🔺**

"Twiddlefinger"🔺 (I am flabbergasted that a goddamn Friday Night Funkin' meme mod song is so BurningCheese-core this is fucking ridiculous)

Maroon 5 - Animals🔺

PLVTINUM, Tarro - Champagne & Sunshine🔺

Carla's Dreams - Beretta🔺🧀**

пневмослон - меня это не страшит🔺**

[neveralarch]

deepest apologies but I have a burning question about one of your fic series— does the title for “If you, among the armies of Holofernes,” reference a specific work/piece of media? It’s a line that’s lived in my head for ages. Thank you!

hey sorry for the late reply on this! this was a dez title so i had to ask her:

and then she tracked it down to if on a winter's night a traveler by Italo Calvino :) this is how you can tell its a dez title bc like half of my titles are either lyrics from ICP or Bloodhound Gang

[aquilaafterdark]

Square: B2: Bestiality Title: Ain't Nothin' But Mammals Rating: E Word Count: 1,121 Ship(s): Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags:  Crack Treated Seriously, Inspired by Music, Chores, Dream of the Endless is a Horny Little Weasel, Crimes against feather dusters, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Summary: Dream arrives at Hob's apartment to say hello, but finds himself aurally assaulted by raunchy music. He learns that this is Hob's chore playlist, finding him dusting in the bedroom. Dream has no interest in doing chores, but does want to do Hob. Thanks, Bloodhound Gang!! Link: On AO3

NB: No actual bestiality in this fic, not even discussion of the act.

@dreamlingbingo

[aquilathefighter]

Aquila's Fic Masterpost!

Here's a quick reference to all of my Dreamling fic!

Writing tag: #aquila writes

Ananke, God of Compulsion | Mature | Incomplete | 11,002 words

Lieutenant Hob Gadling is planning on deserting before his deployment. He has everything planned from faking his death to getting to the US. However, a wrench is thrown into his plan when Captain Morpheus Endeleas asks him to be his assistant for the week leading up to the company’s deployment. Now under close watch by a man Hob thinks despises him, he cannot escape his duty. What will come from a week working closely with Cpt. Endeleas?

Hold Me Closer | Teen | Complete | 26,471 words

Fluffbruary 2023 prompts! Just some soft and happy dreamlings because I can't hit them with a hammer all the time.

Smapril Showers Bring Smutty Flowers | Explicit | Incomplete | 7, 148 words

Smapril 2023 fills, prompts by staroftheendless A variety show of Dreamling smut, in whatever universes come to mind.

Dreamling Bingo Fills

Watching You Dance | Explicit | Complete | 347 words

Hob has a side job as a stripper. He invites Dream to come watch him, knowing that his boyfriend's possessive streak will be activated when he's surrounded by the lustful daydreams of the patrons. 2023 Dreamling Bingo Fill for #DB215 square E5: Stripping Smapril Day 3 Prompts: Possessive | "Come over here."

Earl Grey, or: the Tiny Grey Cat | General Audiences | Complete | 768 words

Dream ends up in Hob's flat a bit before the man actually arrives, and meets a new addition to Hob's living space: a kitten! The King of Cats talks to the young kitten and finds out that children of all kinds are poor keepers of their caregivers' secrets. When Hob arrives, Dream and the kitten are formally introduced and Dream is forced to relax for once in his life. Dreamling Bingo 2023 fill for #DB215 April Monthly Prompt: Adoption replacing Square E4

Ain't Nothin' but Mammals | Explicit | Complete | 1,121 words

Dream arrives at Hob's apartment to say hello, but finds himself aurally assaulted by raunchy music. He learns that this is Hob's chore playlist, finding him dusting in the bedroom. Dream has no interest in doing chores, but does want to do Hob. Thanks, Bloodhound Gang!! Dreamling Bingo 2023 fill for #DB215 Square B2: Bestiality NB: No actual bestiality in this fic, not even discussion of the act. (See notes!)

Swashbuckling Fantasie | Teen | Incomplete | 1,344 words

Boatswain Hob Gadling is a pirate obsessed with a different kind of treasure: stories. He goes looking for fantastical tales at every port and bothers his crewmates daily for them. When he is told of a merman who lives in a dreamlike cove who is the greatest storyteller ever, he has no choice but to seek him out. He meets this mysterious man who transports Hob to a realm of his own, where Hob can seek out new adventures and create a story of his own. But between the adventures and Hob's persistence, this misanthropic merman begins to see humans in a new light, falling deeper and deeper for his pirate. Chapter 1 fulfills the Dreamling Bingo Monthly Prompt "MerMay," replacing #DB215 Square E1: Rape/Non-con!

I just really, desperately want to be your next poor decision | General Audiences | Complete | 210 words

Dream asks why Hob has done everything he has done in the interim since 1889. Hob tells him and makes a (what he deems) subtle love confession. Dreamling Bingo 2023 fill for #DB215 June Monthly Prompt: "Why did you do it?" replacing Square E3: Stargate

Hunger for the Blade | Explicit | Complete | 1,535 words

Hob had thought it would be a good idea to ask Dream to spar during their weekly Dreaming date night. How hard could it be, he’d thought. I have centuries of experience. What he’d forgotten, he’s now learning, is that his lover has millennia of experience. That he contains every single swordsman’s dreams since swords were invented on top of the glut of fictional swordplay. That had been his first mistake. His second was the bet they’d made: the winner gets to have the loser in whatever way they’d like. -- Or, a sparring match turns into a very messy blowjob. Dreamling Bingo 2023 fill for #DB215 Square E2: Knife Play