#blood went literally everywhere it was such a pain to clean up

[killlavendr]

A CRISPP hard slap. Like an apple 🍎

[shotgunbunny]

.·:*¨༺𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲༻¨*:·.

Ex! Soldier! Ari x Prostitute! Reader

WC:4.6k+ GIF by steve-kemp

"Who saved you?"

"The soldier boy. He had fallen in love with his whore. He followed me everywhere. He rushed in the minute they left."

{Warnings: angst and fluff, like a heavy angst moment in this but then there's so much fluff, ignorance of safe word, olderman and younger woman, Ari being 6'7 and huge, Ari being a sweetheart, daddy kink, size kink, prostitute!reader, spit kink, Ari is literally the best part of this, REALLY NASTY SCENE WITH BJ AND VOMIT BUT NOT FULL DETAIL!!!!! ARI IS THE GOOD GUY IN THIS!!! RANDOM GUY THAT'S HARDCORE BDSM N READERS LIKE NAH!!!ARI IS READERS SAVIOUR.}

The war was finally over and the boys were sent home to their beloveds and families. It was hard when they didn't come home, or didn't find their beloveds waiting. But the worst was Ari Levinson.

He had worked tirelessly in the war, shooting, stabbing. He was drenched in blood and would have no way of ever wiping it clean from his skin. He only had a few scars, he deemed himself lucky for that. He deemed himself lucky for surviving. Yet when he returned there was no one waiting for him. No beloved and no family.

His mother had passed away while he was fighting, his sister had moved away into a house with her husband so she could start a family, and his father died years ago. So when he came home, there was no one there to ease his pain. He simply wandered hoping that maybe a childhood friend longed for him and would run into his arms.

When he looked down at his arms all he found was his suitcase and a letter saying he was relieved of duty. And because he didn't have his lover, he was empty. He fought so hard and lost so many, and he didn't even get some love for his hard work. He was just stood looking at the dullness of life that surrounded him.

He remembered how excited he was to step off the train and be brought to the arms of an endeared one who would smother him in kisses. And he remembers when he stepped off and how the flood of women and families all gathered around the other soldiers, crying and hugging them. And most importantly, he remembers watching everyone leave the train station, so that it was just him clutching his stuff and waiting for someone that would never arrive.

After a few hours he gave up. He went to his mothers house which she left him, and went to bed with an aching heart. He had never felt such loneliness like this, and all it did was make his stomach turn and his mind race.

Everyday after he stepped off the train and returned home, he would wake up in his old room and go downstairs and eat his breakfast alone, before dusting the house and staring longingly at the family photos. And then he would sit and read the news paper until hours had passed and he decided it was time to drink his pain away. Then when he was stone cold drunk he would get up and head to bed. And repeat that routine until he got a letter from his dearest friend Sammy, inviting him out for a drink at the bar which he hastily accepted.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

"Hey! There's my pal!" Sammy shouted proudly from his seat at the bar before he quickly got out and hugged Ari, making sure to pat his back and remind him that he was there for him. With a grin, he led Ari to the seat next to his at the bar. They both orded their drinks and began talking.

The aching that was in Ari's heart silenced for a second and allowed for him to focus on his friend and their companionship. Every word uttered between the pair, eased Ari's desperation second by second. Until the topic moved onto women and that dreaded ache came back full swing.

"Me and Rachel are getting married soon pal. I want you to be my best man. What do ya say?" Sammy said with a grin on his face, he saw Ari's quick grimace and watched as the taller man nodded his head slowly. Sammy knitted his brows together and stared before he began speaking again.

"Woah buddy, what's wrong with ya'? Ain't you got a girl?" Ari gulped and looked down at his callous hand before opening his mouth and letting a quite rumble of 'no' out. Sammy's eyes widened. He had no idea, he always thought Ari had a girl. Sammy then looked around making sure no one was listening into the conversation.

"Listen man, between us, I know a place where you can kill your loneliness for the cheap." Ari raised his head and looked at his friend with furrowed brows. "What do ya' mean?" Sammy sighed and began speaking in a hushed tone.

"Rachel told me that some of the guys that came home without a woman went to a private house where the women's lovin is cheap. You just go in and pay and then if ya ever need a woman again, ya pay them and they'll take care of ya." Sammy smiled and patted his friends back.

A beat of silence passed, and Ari downed the rest of his drink. He remained seated allowing for the information to sink in and then with a sigh he turned and spoke in a hushed voice. "Do ya know the address?" Sammy chuckled and wrote it down on a small piece of card before sliding it to Ari.

Ari took it hastily and harshly patted his friend on the back, forgetting his own strength. He muttered a thank you, and started heading to the address, hellbent on eradicating his desperation for human touch.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

He knocked on the door and a woman dressed in a beautiful robe opened it and looked him up and down before speaking, her voice soft yet deep. Authority dropped off every inch of her and he respected that. "What are ya after sir?"

Ari gulped and then spoke softly, hating the fact that he had to speak his deprivation for human touch aloud. "I'm looking for a woman to spend the night with? A friend told me I could kill my loneliness here ma'am. I'm just after some soft loving." After speaking he tilted his head down, a blush coated on his cheeks while the woman cooed at him.

He raised his head and watched her moved to the side to let him in. He walked in as gentle as possible as she closed the door behind him. "I got the perfect gal for you." He smiled, finally able to have woman even if it was temporary. She gave him the price and he paid in full. She smiled at him "Down the hall to your left, there should be a white door that has a dove on it. That's where you're going angel." He smiled and bowed his head.

His heart raced as he took the direction and stood outside the door with a small black dove painted on it. He saw that the other doors all had different things painted on them. The door next to yours had a dog painted on it and the other one had a heel painted on it.

Ari let out a breathe and gently knocked on the door. "Come in." He heard a soft voice say from inside. He opened the door and closed it. He turned and looked at where the voice came from. There you were. Dressed all pretty in a white slip nightgown. Ari was in heaven just looking at you. You were so utterly beautiful that it stopped the aching in his heart and made it swell.

You smiled at him and put your hand on your hip. You stared at the man. He was very nervous you could tell from the way he was tapping his foot and playing with his hands. He was a big fella, a guy you'd have dreamed about. He stood at about 6'7 and completely dwarfed you. He was muscular, you could tell as the shirt he was wearing was holding onto his bicep so tightly you wouldn't be surprised if it left an indent on his skin.

He had beautiful blue eyes, yet they were looking at the floor. His hair was long but nothing messy, it was just the right amount and it matched with his full beard perfectly. You then noted the blush on his cheeks and giggled drawing his attention back to you. You made eye contact with the beautiful man and your heart raced.

"What's wrong suga' this your first time?" He spluttered and shook his head. "No ma'am. It's just my first time paying for company, and it has been a while. They don't allow us to bring women to war." He said the last part trying to lighten the mood, try and tell a joke to hear your pretty laugh again but all he got was you slowly walking towards him and placing you soft hands in his calloused ones.

"You're a soldier?" You whispered it so gently that Ari felt safe. "Yes ma'am." You stared at this shy man. "You ain't cheatin' are ya?" Ari blushed again. "N-No ma'am. I was just looking for company. There was no one waiting for me so I'm just trying to fill that loneliness and heartache." You raised your soft hand to his cheek and gently stroked it.

"I'm sorry darling. You know, if I knew you before the war I'd have waited for ya." Ari closed his eyes before any tears could slip out. He let out a cough and opened his eyes again looking down at your heavenly face. "You can call me Ari. I think I'll be here alot." You smiled at him.

"Well if that's right, I'll make sure Miss. Haferton does half off Ari. A soldier like you shouldn't be paying half price for the pleasure you deserve. You can call me whatever you want." He smiled and took your hand from his cheek into his own admiring how small it was compared to his. His eyes glimmered as he stared down at you. "I'll call you my little dove." You beamed at him.

"Cmon Ari, it's time to loosen up." Before he could even question what you meant you got on your tip toes and pulled him down kissing him. He was shocked before gently kissing you back and leading you towards your soft red bed.

After the night was done, you were both sweating. You curled up on Ari's chest and spoke to him about your life, and he spoke about his. Letting you know every detail about him. In that moment when it was just you two cuddled up and wrapped in the bed sheets, you both felt peace for the first time since before the war.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

A month had passed and you were swept off your feet. Ari would sleep with you every other day and you were always so happy that he did, but his possessiveness could be such a nuisance. He knew you were a working girl but sometimes he got so locked up in a fantasy where you were his wife that he forgot that you had sex for money.

Which is why you had decided to change the schedule and only have Ari sleep with you twice a week. You needed to make sure that all your clients had a reason to come back whenever they could, and it was incredibly difficult when Ari took up half of those days. So as much as it hurt you to bring sorrow to the soldier, you decided it must be done.

With a sigh you sat on your bed, clad only in a red lacey night dress when you heard the familiar soft knock of the gentle giant. A smile graced your lips at his politeness. "Come in Ari." You watched the door open and close. You raised an eyebrow and he stood next to the door and dropped his hand from the handle. There was a furrow in his brow and he looked at you.

"I was speaking with the lady at the door and she said that my schedules changed and I now only get two nights." You sighed and stood up. "She's right Ari. I had to change the schedule. I need more clients so I can make more money." "I can give you more money. Please I adore our time so much, don't limit me." "I have to Ari. Business is business whether you like it or not. This is what it's like. Either deal with it or find a new gal."

He stared down at you, anger flashing through his eyes. "Alright I'll deal with it, but we're not being soft. I'm gonna be rough with ya." You rolled your eyes and headed towards the bed when suddenly Ari picked you up and threw you on the bed.

He quickly crawled on top of you and helped you pull your dress off leaving you naked for his eyes to feast on. "Fuck, look at this perfect body. So small compared to mine, don't know how I came even fit my cock in ya. But you don't care do ya? You just want daddy's cock in ya, you want daddy to fuck you stupid til you come all over his big cock."

He stared down at your body and licked his lips. He kissed your neck, allowing his tongue to graze your skin but never suckle it. He knew the rules, no marks and no cumming inside. He kissed all the way to the valley of your breast before he quickly took your left nipple into his hot mouth and began to suck on it and let his tongue circle the bud.

All the while his large hand was travelling up between your thighs right towards your pussy, he smirked when he felt how wet you were before he plunged a finger in and began thrusting. You whined at the feeling of his fat finger that was soon joined by another finger. He switched to your right tit and began suckling that one, making sure that both your nipples were covered in his spit before he blew cold air on them so that they perked up even more. He groaned at the sight of you covered in his spit.

He added a third finger and watched as your pussy opened up more for him. He made sure you were used to his finger holding you open before he unzipped his pants. His cock jumped out angry and big. You stared down and watched as he grazed your folds with his tip. He then got to your entrance before pushing all the way in, knocking the breathe out of you. He smirked looking down at your blissed out face.

"Fuckin' look on your face dove. Only I can give you that look, like there's no thoughts in your head except daddy's cock. Good girl, fuckin' made it fit didn't ya. Makin daddy so proud takin his cock like a big girl. But you're not a big girl are ya? No you're just a dumb little whore who will gladly have her tiny pussy stretched for daddy's cock."

He grabbed your face and turned it to the side before spitting on your cheek and then doing it to the other side. You whined and he began moving, making sure his thrusts were slow but firm so his cock dragged across your gspot perfectly. He then began to thrust faster before grabbed your face, "Open your pretty little mouth dove, open it for daddy." You did as he complied drunk off his cock and he spat in your mouth.

Your eyes rolled back and you felt him drag his hand down to your clit and began doing small and fast circles. You began to thrash under him and the pleasure he giving you. A loud moan left your lips before you came all over his cock, your thighs shaking and your toes curling. You held onto him and as he began to fuck you through your orgasm. He squeezed your hips tight making sure there would be a bruise meaning he would leave a mark. He groaned at that thought and pulled out, cumming all over your stomach. You cuddled into him and smiled kissing his cheek and he smiled down at you.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

Eventually Ari came to terms with the fact he couldn't take up all your time, but he settled for the time he could. In or out of work. He soon became like your shadow and nearly all the girls fawned over him. Over how soft he was for you and how he practically worshipped the ground you walked on.

All you could see was problems though, he was so lonely that he would accept any company and turn it into adoration. Including a whores. You had to swallow your pride everytime Ari asked you to be his and tell him that it won't work. You were a prostitute and you slept with him for money and every time you said that he would softly ask with you nestled up to him.

"Would you sleep with me if you weren't being paid?"

In a heartbeat you always longed to say but you remained silent every time. You didn't want him to know you had fallen in love with him. This shy soldier had become your world and you didn't know what to do other than try and get more clients in, hoping and praying that the more men that fucked you the further Ari would be from your mind but everytime you were wrong.

Thankfully today was you day off, so you decided to go to the towns market and look around. You smiled at all the folks you passed recognising some of them and ignoring the judgemental stares of others. You began walking around the market and looked at the fresh fruit and vegetables. Just as you were buying some to stock up the house, a large hand shot past yours and paid for you.

While the man packed your fruit and vegetables you turned and saw Ari. Stood with a smile of his sun kissed face and his eyes shining. You giggled at the giant who was disguising himself as a teddybear. "Good morning soldier." His smile widened and he leaned down to place a kiss on your cheek. "Good mornin' little dove." When the man went to give you your shopping, Ari took the bag in one hand and offered his arm to you.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "C'mon dove, let's do some shopping for the house." You glanced around shocked that Ari would be so open about his relationship with you. "Are you sure Ari?" He chuckled, "I am not ashamed of you dove, I am just ashamed that I can't snatch you away from where you work. But other than that, I am completely carefree especially with you beside me." You blushed at his affectionate words and giggled. You then linked your arms with his and began shopping.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

That was just the first of many helpful adventures. Everytime you went out shopping Ari would tag along and help you. With either getting something from the top shelf in a store or carrying your shopping after the market. Truly he was becoming domesticated for you.

He was trying to enchant you to join him and his house by making you go shopping with him and helping him choose ingredients, and it was working. You were so close to choosing him over any form of work.

But then today happened, you were already in a bad mood since you didn't get any sleep due to the new neighbors revving their motorbikes to show who's more dominant. And then your first client of the day decided to cum all over your brand new silk bed sheets (gifted by Ari.) And now you had to wash it and all the other girls laundry.

You were ready to tear your hair out when you saw the house was out of washing powder. With a groan you headed out the house and went to the closest store. And surprise who was waiting in your shadow, Ari.

You were so tired and frustrated with today that you couldn't handle him following you around like a lost puppy. So you turned on your heel to look at the tall man. He smiled down at you and looked at you as if you were the sun. You almost felt bad for you snarky tone when you spoke to him.

"What do you want from me Mr. Levinson?" You put your hand on your hip glaring up at him. Yet it doesn't deter him as he continues his loving smile down at you. "I thought it was obvious. I want you to have my last name and be full of my babies." Your sighed frustrated and glare up at him. "You need to stop with this delusion Ari! I'm a whore! A harlot! Which, incase you were simple, mean I'm not wife material! Just leave me alone."

You grab your washing powder and throw the money of the counter before leaving. Ari stared shocked at your words. His heart hurt a bit, but if there was something that the war taught him, it was when things are bad to persevere through it and the sun will come out. So Ari took a breath in and swept his hair from his eyes with his hand and soon followed you back to the house.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

The second you got in you were swamped with a new client. A particularly harsh one, you'd only had him once. And afterwards, Ari came in and rubbed some soothing oils onto the slap marks he had left on your ass. This man was hard, and everything he did was to inflict pain for his pleasure.

You took a breath and went to put the powder away, when you saw Harriet walk into the room. She jumped when she saw you and then began speaking with her feminine French accent. "You scared me little mouse. Don't worry about the washing, I'll do it." You smiled at her and kissed her cheek, she giggled. "Thank you so much my angel, I don't know what I'd do without you." She smiled and waved you away.

You headed to your room and when you opened it, there he sat. The man as tough as nails and as hard as ice. You saw that he held a flog with sharp, pointed stubs on it. Your heart raced as you also saw the rope next to him. You looked back up at him distressed and he let out a cold chuckle. "Do not worry little kitty, none of this is for you. This is for Doreen. You're just warming me up."

You gulped, you'd heard about his 'warm ups.' How it was meant to be a simple blowjob but he made it something so much worse. You didn't want to find out but you knew he payed excellent money. So with racing heart you got on your knees and he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out.

As you were deep throating him, he grabbed your hair and pulled it towards his hips. Your scalp burned at how hard he was pulling and tears filled your eyes immediately as you couldn't breath. Your nose was against his skin and his cock was down your throat. He smirked and groaned as you gagged and threw up on his cock but he didn't pull away forcing you to swallow it. Soon he came in your mouth and pushed you away.

You were crying, your voice horse as you repeated the safe word as loud as possible. He cleaned up and took his toys to the other room. He opened the door and bumped into a body. He looked up and saw Ari. Ari stared down at you, he noted the distress in your eyes and the tears streaming down your face. Then he heard you whispering your safe word.

Ari took one look at the man before he pinched him hard in the face. He immediately broke his nose but it wasn't enough. Ari headbutted him and watched him fall to the floor before kicking the shit out of him. Ari stood with a menacing look plastered on his face as he watched the man cough up blood.

He brought his gaze to your and it immediately softened but his voice didn't. His voice was deep and firm. "Get your things. You're coming to live with me. No room for arguments. You are coming with me woman." You nodded and Ari stepped over the unconscious body and began helping you pack.

All the while security had come and seen the mess and Ari began speaking to them about hearing you repeating your safe word and your muffled cries. Soon Miss. Haferton came around the corner and Ari began explaining how you were quitting. Your stomach filled with butterflies over Ari's dominance. You couldn't help but like him being all demanding, and when you realised that you knew it was time to give up the job and finally choose your soldier.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

Ari smiled as he stepped off the train. He had been visiting his sister to see her new born, just like she did when he had his newborns. It had been 5 years since Ari had met you and he kept true to his words.

He wanted you to have his last name and be filled with his children and so far you'd been married for 4 years and had 2 children with number 3 on the way. God he was so excited for baby number 3, he hoped it was girl as so far he had 2 boys and as wonderful as they were, they were absolute mama's boys. And who could blame them, with a mother like you he could see why they were. But now he wanted a daddy girl, someone he could spoil and fight all the guys for.

Ari chuckled as he stepped off the train, he looked down at his hands and saw a suitcase and a bag full of stuffed toys he got for his children on his visit. When he looked up his heart raced. There at the train station stood a heavily pregnant you with your two toddlers in their prams.

Ari rushed over immediately, and kissed you. After all he did miss you immensely, but it was the fact that you remember him talking about how isolated he felt when he first stepped off that train and no one was there for him. And now he had a family waiting for him. He looked down and nuzzled your noses before he quickly took the heaviest pram and babbled at his children.

He chuckled at their "dada's." As you both began pushing your children back home, he turned to you. "How are you feeling Mama? You okay?" You giggled at him. "Everythings okay Ari. The baby will come out when it's ready." He let out a huff, "I know it's just I'm eager to meet our beautiful little girl." "How do you know it's a girl?" "Trust me dove it's a girl, if not I'll buy you that pearl necklace you want so bad." You smiled, "And if it is a girl? What will I owe you?"

Ari turned and stared at you, admiring how you glowed in the sunlight. He paused and you did too. He leaned down and whispered gently in your ear, "You owe me another baby, That was the plan afterall Mrs. Levinson." He then kissed your cheek as you blushed and laughed at him.

You were so glad that your soldier came and saved you, he truly was your saviour and the love of your life and you couldn't be more thankful for him and your beautiful family. And he was thankful that he finally had you, he finally had someone who would wait at the train station for him.

[graysnetwork]

⊰Mr. Nonchalant⊱

info- spent half of the day writing this cause I was out of ideas but also bored and stuff. And i still have some requests i still have not done but for some reason i just get stuck. So i'm sorry if you requested and i've never done it.

warnings: wounds mentioned (cut/gash), blood

Summary: Keegan is only ever sweet with you, and it's finally dawned on him that, he likes you, a lot.

Keegan is so sweet with you.

He’s literally so nice to you, helping you with anything you need. And everyone on base fully believed you two had a thing going on because he was only nice to you, until you stared at them in confusion because you had no idea what they meant. There was nothing going on between you guys.

You thought he was just a nice guy who liked to help everyone, but you were wrong, kinda. He was a nice guy who did like to help, just you. 

He was a dream though, he helped you with everything; from training, to grabbing things from high places for you. And to add to that, he was handsome. He had those beautiful icy blue eyes, and he was always clean shaven, he had downturned lips, and short messy black hair. He rarely took his mask off, but with you he did. Barely anyone knew what he looked like. Only the people he trusted knew what his face looked like. You had only joined the team as a medic for them this year so the rest of the team  thought it was surprising he let you see his face since more than half of them have only ever seen his mouth when he lifted his mask to eat.

In Keegan’s perspective, he knew he was being very nice with you. There wasn't a particular reason. He just always wanted to be nice to you. You were pretty and super kind to him so he wanted to be kind to you as well. He was asked constantly by his teammates if you two had something going on and he denied everything, though, he wouldn't deny you if you wanted something to go on.

He was starting to realize his stomach did flips whenever you were around, and his face got hot under his mask when you stared at him through your lashes, and his mouth went dry when you asked him a question. His pupils would be blown out at the sight of you, or just the thought of you.

And he was such a serious guy, but for you…

He would even try to crack a joke or two when you were around just to hear a giggle come out of you. And he had very, very dry humor, and all of the jokes he told you were terrible but that's half the charm.

When Logan finally asked Keegan about you, his cheeks went red, and he stuttered like a kid presenting in front of a class. He was a total mess when it came to you, as a topic. When he was actually talking to you, he was totally fine. But Mr. Nonchalant was acting very chalant about you.

–

You sat in front of keegan staring at the wound on his side, you began stitching him up. His face contorted into an expression of pain, his groans intensified as you reached the middle of the slit.

“m’sorry… but i'm almost done” you whispered and he groaned back as a response. “S’fine sweetheart, dont worry about it, just hurry.. please” he whispered, You nodded and finished stitching the wound. Keegan sighed as you finished, he closed his eyes, sat back in his seat, and relaxed. “thank you..” his voice barely above a whisper. “are you okay?” you asked and furrowed your brows “im great, feeling better already” he muttered back, “good, i'm gonna go get you ice” you smiled and went over to the fridge and grabbed an ice pack. His eyes followed your figure, and your voice, he smiled and watched you.

“y/n, can we talk?’’ he muttered again, “of course, About what?” you perked up your brows, “..us..” he whispered, his stomach felt empty and he felt like throwing up. “what about us?” “well, i uh.. I need to talk to you about something” he gulped and he took his eyes off of you as you sat back down in front of him, he couldn't look at you anymore now, his eyes wandered everywhere except towards you.

“about what keegan?” you asked and placed the ice on the wound. “I-” he let out a shaky sigh as he sat up again trying to relax as he kept the ice on his slit. “I love you y/n” he whispered, your eyes widened and heat ran up your neck to your cheeks, you felt hot, not in a good, sexy way. Like you were having a fever.

“Oh wow..”

That was the only thing that could come out of your mouth at the moment.

“Yeah.. I love you. And it's fine if you don't even remotely like me back, because i love you so much that i just want you to be happy” he got up slowly from the chair, still keeping the ice against himself “ even if that means i don't get to love you, but i want you to be happy, and if that means no me in your life then that's fine, super fine, not fine with me but if it makes you happy, then i'll say it's fine…” 

“I want you” you gulped and stood up in front of him, “really?” his brows perked up and his stomach did flips. “Really.” you nodded and took in a deep breath and exhaled deeply. “good were on the same page..” you gulped once again, “yeah.. So, do you wanna go out some time” he asked, "sure, " you smiled sheepishly. “When we go out, i promise i'll actually have flowers for you and i'll tell you ‘i love you’ properly, y’know, flash mob and everything” he smiled “don't do that, please” you giggled.

He stepped closer,put his hand on your cheek,

And he leaned in and kissed you.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him back, gosh, he was a great kisser. His other hand found its place on your waist and he didn’t pull away, neither did you. It seemed that the two of you didn’t want this moment to end.

Nobody, if they were in this situation, would ever dare to pull away from this euphoric movie scene. You could probably pitch this as a movie scene, handsome shirtless soldier kissing a medic after admitting their love for each other.

Gosh, he was a good kisser.

[babygirl-riley]

Can we get a little pt 2 to the breakup fic? Maybe even just a small Drabble of when Simon finds out what she did?

Hehehe you asked for it ❤️

Haunted Pt.II

Simon messaged you 2 days after the break up to talk things through. Only to find out that won’t be the case.

“I just wanna hear you. Saying, "Baby, let's go home" Let's go home. Yeah, I just wanna take you home.”

Warnings: mention of suicide, swearing, LITERALLY DEPRESSION, angst, drug mentions, alcohol consumption

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst

Previous part

Alternative Ending

0300

Simon sat on a chair with bourbon sitting next to him and a cigarette in his fingers, in a broken apartment glass everywhere, holes in walls, broken chairs, tv. It looked like someone broke in and just destroyed everything. Simon had a rage fit, tears falling down his face, screaming till his throat felt raw.

Why the fuck would you do this? Why would you…You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. He felt numb as he sat there drinking his life away, filling his lungs with cancer. Nothing won’t take this pain away. God you were alone. By yourself. Only if he didn’t kick you out, only if he was there to save you. To hold you. He sat there thinking how those days went, where he could have done something.

0800

Simon was upset the fact that you didn’t text him back. It’s been almost two weeks since the break up, usually when both of you would take a break, you’d come back and talk things through. Toxic? For sure but you are always on his mind, even the bad times.

He wished everything was handled better that night, maybe he should have sat with her and explained that he just hadn’t felt anything emotionally. That he didn’t mean to push her away. But that would be opening scrapped up wounds. Reopening them like a child playing with their scabs.

He didn’t know the events that happened after the break up. Simon just moved slowly, getting back to the single life scene being alone. It wasn’t until Soap brought up a news article.

“Aye have you heard about the police findin’ a body in the car last night? News been sayin’ it’s a druggie.” He said looking down at his phone.

They were waiting for a meeting, they just got back from a mission last night, and needed to go over somethings that happened during it. Simon was looking at his phone periodically.

Buzz buzz buzz

Unknown number popped up, he denies it as he listens more. “Did they say who they were?” Gaz asked leaning back in his chair.

“Nah, just says that the body is a week or more old. Poor thing.” Soap said putting his phone down.

Simon always remembered how scary it was to find his brother all fucked out by drugs. Helping his mother through the process of getting him clean. It was a fucking nightmare. He felt bad for the poor bastard’s family.

Buzz buzz buzz

He picked his phone up again with the same number. He denied it once more, as Price walked through the door. He should have answered. He should have left it alone at the same time.

1900

The number didn’t call back again after that but left a voicemail. He waited till he got home, pour a whiskey out for him as he stared at the voicemail. He grumbled under his breath as he pressed it, putting it on speaker.

“Hey son,” His heart dropped, he knew that voice. That was your father. He hated Simon, that was one of the many other reasons why they stopped talking to you. Simon felt his blood boil. “I-,” It went quiet for a moment before he heard a sob in the background. “You need to meet us at the hospital in downtown. As soon as you can.”

He snatched his phone and dialed his number. The ringing kept going. His heart racing. What happened to you? What did you do? Are you alive? Please be okay. He thought of the worst of the worst. Maybe you were kidnapped? Maybe you were assaulted?

“Simon?” Simon froze as he gripped the glass.

“Where is she?” Simon asked making it to the point.

“You should just come here son,” He responded his voice trembling. “We will talk here.”

He sighed and agreed. Maybe you drank too much, got back into that habit. You both will figure it out together, it is fine, you’ve done it before you can do it again. The drive there made his heart thump, your parents were always disappointed in your drinking. That was the second reason. You were not a nice drunk for sure but Simon knew the real you.

“Why do they hate me?” You cried as you threw the last tequila bottom across the room. Simon stood still as he watched you pace back and forth. “They told me to never come back home. They don’t like the fact I am with you OR my drinking. I don’t have a problem Simon.”

He knew why you drank, the depression, the PTSD, the pain of your surgery. It was too much for you beautiful brain. You took pills for depression but it seemed to not help lately. Simon shouldn’t have let it go this far. He has seen it with soldiers, being discharged because of the problem.

“Little one,” He said walking cautiously to you. “Maybe we should come up with a plan.”

You scoffed. “What plan?” Your eyes were wet, not all there, distant.

It reminded him of his dad, not that you were beating him just the face. Face of anger mixed with sadness, you were in pain. His sighed cupping your face. “To stop drinking,” You were about to object before snapping your mouth closed. “Doing this to yourself isn’t gonna work sweetheart.”

“Are you gonna leave me?”

2000

That rang through his head as he stood in front of your dad. Confused. No you wouldn’t. “Where is she?” He said looking up at your mom.

She was a mess, sat in the room that were for patient’s families when their loved ones pass away. Your mom had tissues in her hand as she kept sobbing. He snapped his head over to your brother. “Where is she?” Simon asked again.

Your father placed his hand on his shoulder. “Simon,” Simon brushed his hand off. “Simon listen. Did she stop taking her pills?”

Simon laughed genuinely laughed. “No I made sure she took them every day.”

“Did she act different,” Your mom stood up. “Did you notice ANYTHING different with her?!” She rose her voice which made Simon’s blood boil. “All her things were in her car! What did you do?”

Then it hit him. Not the last couple of weeks did he make sure. He kicked you out that night. His heart stopped. “We fought that night, nothing crazy.” He mumbled looking away.

“Nothing crazy!” Your mom yelled. Your brother walked to her whispering to her. Trying to calm her down.

“Allison,” Your father whispered. “Enough, son take her outside for a moment.” Your brother nodded walking her out as she sobbed. It was eerie quiet. He killed her. Simon killed her. If he didn’t kick her out she would be here. She would be in bed with him. Not being examined by strangers. “Simon,” Simon didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He killed his baby girl. His child. “Simon this isn’t your fault.”

Simon scoffed. “I kicked her out.”

It was quiet yet again. “We disowned her for stupid reasons.”

2200

It was a few hours before a doctor came in, letting them know that it was a drug overdose. Irony. This was irony. Your mom sobbing harder, brother holding her, your father now crying, and Simon still as a rock. You were gone.

The doctor mentioned that they were aloud to see you. That you were cleaned up enough to say their goodbyes. Simon wanted to scoff at that statement. He let your family see you first, he didn’t think he could see you. Or deserve to.

He watched as your mother and brother walked out, your father walked to him. “You should go back there. She looks…” His lip trembled. Simon looked away and nodded, your father patted his shoulder.

2243

The nurse took him back to the room you laid in. They haven’t covered you yet, he stood in the doorway as the nurse walked in. You were pale, your skin having no color. The color that brought you life, the lips that once was moving and smiling.

He walked all the way in, feeling his skin tingle, his heart racing, his chest tighten. Simon swallowed the bile quickly before it came back up. The nurse stood on one side of you as she looked at the taller man. “We are going to have to take her in less than an hour sir. Police want to look more into the toxicity.”

Simon wanted to throw the small lady, she was doing her job for sure. He just didn’t want her to take you away, secretly he would hope that you would take a quick breath and say jokes haha. But you laid still.

Simon walked to your side and placed a hand on your cheek. “I will leave you alone.” The nurse said as she walked out.

Why did you do it? What were your last thoughts? “Come on sweethear’, just open them.” He whispered running his finger down your cheek.

It was his fault. He kicked you out. He pushed you away. He left you alone knowing damn well you had nowhere else to go. Was it because he didn’t believe that you would leave? That you would be home waiting for him begging to talk about it?

Simon knelt next to you and placed his head on your hand. You can’t be gone. Please. Please don’t be gone. “Let’s go home baby. We can forget all about it. I know you didn’t mean to, I know you love me,” He looked back up to your face. Unmoving. Pale. Cold. Alone. He felt the sting pinging his eyes as water started to blur his vision. “I need ya, please just wake up. I’m sorry. ‘m so fucking sorry.”

The nurse found him laying next to you holding you as he sobbed. Combing through your hair, whispering sweet things. Begging for you to come back to him. The nurse left him alone with you for a few more hours, letting the cops know that your family was still saying their goodbyes.

0304

Simon sat there numb. Tears still spilling. He just wished you were here instead of being alone. He wished he never kicked you out. He wished that he would have been able to tell you his emotions. He wished for you to be here, in front of him.

None of that was going to happen. Simon won’t be able to make you laugh one last time. Simon won’t be able to laugh with you as you made a competition of you can stuff more grapes in your mouth. Simon won’t be able to feel your warm skin against his. Won’t have the chance to talk about children. Marriage. Fuck even retirement with you.

And it was his fault. It was his fault that you took your life and the last thing on your mind was that you were unloved and alone.

He wished he could go back to when you were here. Alive. Maybe in another life you two were happy, alive, and not fucked up. But that wasn’t the reality. Reality was that you were gone and he was here. Alone.

[roninishere]

Like what you see?

Sanemi Shinazugaea x Female Reader

Warnings: cuteness overload! A little of terrible grammar.

Summary: after an incident with a demon, the Wind Pillar takes care of you.

||

You cried out in pain and agony multiple hands tried to hold you down. Pain pain pain. All throughout your left side of your body.

A patrol around the village near the Masters Mansion went terribly wrong. You weren’t a rookie, you had encountered stronger demons even not as a demon slayer. It went south when a pregnant mother with her son had gotten in between. As you successfully helped them escape to safety, it came at a big cost.

Before you could cut the demons head off, you had suffered multiple broken bones on the side of your body along with deep cut in your thigh from a branch, to your luck just missing an artery.

“Hold her down!” Shinubo yelled at her fellow Hashiras as she tried bleeding from your thigh.

All available hands pinned you down as Sanemi tried to calm you down “Y/N, Y/N Doll, take deep breaths.” He brushed your hair out of your face trying to whisper comforting words to you to try and help ease the pain. ‘Deep breaths’ ‘Try and think of your happiness moment’ ‘You’re gunna be okay Doll.’

“I-it hurts Nemi! hurts-s soo f-fucking much!” You cried out as Shinubo started rebreaking your bones.

Seeing you like this hurt him, it should’ve been him, not you.

Your harsh uneven breaths got worse as you started burning up. The excruciating pain only increased greatly as she started on your forearm. The worst part about it was you weren’t on anything help with the pain, you were feeling all of it.

“I know it hurts, just breathe.” He encouraged as his fingers ran across your cheek and chin as tears fell uncontrollably.

Pain. Pain fucking everywhere.

A scream pierce the room when she got to your shoulder, and you whimpered begging for it to stop. It was hard to hear for the others, but they knew that this was better THAN death. The more you screamed and was in pain, Sanemi continued on with his words of encouragement.

“Alright Y/N last one,” Shinubo placed her hands on Y/N hip bone “this one’s gunna really hurt-“ “O-oh really? That’s fucking great.”

Your smartass comment made some laugh especially Sanemi who laid a kiss on your sweaty forehead before he gave Shinubo a nod. You didn’t know if it was the worst one because you passed out at the unbearable pain.

Sanemi didn’t sleep that night, he told Shinubo that he would clean you up as you slept. Once he got the blood off, he held your right hand as he laid his head softly in your stomach, faced to watch you sleep. Your chest moved up and down more than normal as shaky painful breaths left your lips. Despite his own stubbornness, he couldn’t help but to fall asleep.

||

After much convincing, Shinubo that it was better for you mentally to come home with him, it definitely was better than staring at that damn ceiling. The healing process was slow but steady; about a month into the healing process. Half way there.

But none of it would be possible if it wasn’t for Sanemi. Literally taken the role of caretaker, no complains. Normally he was only soft and gentle with you in private, but ever since that night, he refused to leave your side, even to go out and grab ingredients and food for just twenty minutes. Not that you didn’t love it, it just made you think, your incident scared the fuck out of him.

You knew about his younger years, and you knew that despite not on talking terms currently with his younger brother; you and Genya mean everything to him.

It was one morning you managed to escape Sanemis hold on bed and with your crutch, made your way to the kitchen. Now the pain wasn’t gone, but with your pain tolerance, you still tried your luck. You tried to be as quiet as possible while cooking.

Subconsciously going to hold your body close to his, his eyes shot open when all he felt was cold sheets. Immediately jumping out of bed, he thought the worse, as he grabbed his sword, he heard you in the kitchen.

Setting it back against the wall, Sanemi rubbed his face groaning with his hands slightly irritated with you, your stubborn ass was gunna make your injuries worse. Walking quietly down the hallway, he prepped himself to lecture you.

Hearing you hum the same lullaby that he’s hummed you the past few weeks, brought such warmth to his chest almost causing him to forget about your irresponsible action. Entering the kitchen and seeing that you hadn’t noticed him, he leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest observing you in the kitchen.

Believe it or not, he taught you how to cook, and though you’d try really hard, you failed miserably sometimes. Funny as hell, yet cute.

“Are you gunna flip that?”

Completely taken by surprise and scared shitless, you nearly jumped almost slipping “Nemi! How long have you been standing there?”

You were all flustered, face bright red, you had been caught red handed and he scared you.

“Long enough to watch you struggle with making coffee and almost burn this.” He took the deformed pancake off the pan, examine it with a huff, and set it with the rest of them. Catching her trying to pour the coffee into mugs with one hand, he took it out of her hands doing it for her. Hearing a frustrated sigh, he pulled her chin up to face him “You know this is stupid right?”

Yeah. Nodding, she shrugged nonchalantly admitting “I know…I just wanted to do something nice for you…I know it hasn’t been easy lately…taking care of me and stuff…”

“Thank you for that, but taking care of you is the least I can do. You’re not a burden, just really a pain in my ass because you’re stubborn. The hardest thing was just seeing you in pain like that, I wished I could’ve taken it all away, but I’m grateful that you were alive,” his thumbs brushed against your cheek as he rest his head against yours before kissing your forehead “but don’t fucking scare me like that again.” You gave him a hum.

Feeling him leave kisses all over your face, you giggled with a smile until you felt his lips on yours. So you had support, he pressed you gently against the counter before he pulled away, giving you a tight side hug. He did like this though “I could get use to this.”

“Me too.” You agreed, taking him a bit by surprise. He was certain that you’d wanna go back to work as soon as you healed, and he had been dreading that conversation. Now he doesn’t have to have it. Looking down at you, he waited for a ‘I’m kidding’ but you never said it. A wave of relief ran through his body as his eyes fell upon your wedding ring that was on a chain around your neck.

Everything happens for a reason.

Ever since he met you, you never stopped moving, working, training, he was the only thing that kept you grounded so you could rest and stop to enjoy life. Now with you done with all of that. It was the perfect timing.

“How did you manage this? You know, I don’t even wanna know,” Sanemi teased as you blush. He wiped the pancake batter off your cheek before giving you a huff “Go sit down and rest while I finishing up.”

Your hip WAS starting to hurt a bit now that he mentioned resting. Siting at the island, you leaned your elbow on the counter, resting your head in your hand, watching him loving. You knew he had felt your eyes on him when his cheeks got bright pink.

“L-like what you see?”

Oh you always managed to get him all flustered up “Actually I LOVE what I see.” You winked at him causing him to blush harder.

“You’re an idiot.”

||

Had this idea pop in my head so hope y’all enjoyed! I had wrote a Kyojuro Rengoku a while back, but it was my first time doing a character x you, and I accident kept putting the words her and she so I’m redoing it now haha. I’ll post that when it’s ready.

Love ya! 💚

[dia-land]

fem sakamakis hcs?

FEMALE SAKAMAKI HEADCANNONS 🍷

------------------------------------

💤 Shu 💤

She is the laziest girl you'll ever know. When shes at home, she'll be sleeping, when she's in the limbo she'll be sleeping, when she's in school she'll be sleeping. Just everywhere!

And she's always got her headphones in her ears, whenever you see her.

You may think, all girls like to keep tidy and they all love dressing up and flirting. But Shu? All she likes to do is sleep and lay around. She puts no effort into dressing up, cleaning, and cooking NOTHING. And flirting? Nahhh that is just a waste of time as well.

No matter how lazy she is she still gets a lot of guys. Yep. By doing nothing. She is very attractive to all the guys and they all wanted her. When they tried to talk to her. She'd just look at them coldly until they went away.

Speaking about looking, her eyes were a very icy blue colour. If you ever make eye contact with her, you'd freeze. Literally.

Her hair is really long and wavy. She still thought it was a hassle to keep it long but it was a hassle to cut it off too. So she couldn't care less for her hair and just always just has them down. If she did tie them up, it'd be a messy bun. Her hair is VERY tangled.

Her height is kinda tall around 5'7'.

She is very p3rverted. She may look bored and not interested in anything at all but she is secretly really perverted. Once, she teleported into the boys P.E changing room and snuck behind one of the lockers and looked at guys changing. And it wasn't only guys. GIRLS TOO.

She would also try to peek under the girls skirts. But no one really noticed her p3rverted side due to her laziness.

🔬 Reiji 🔬

STRICT MOMMY. 😩

Ok no seriously, she is the strictest girl you'll ever know. She does not like having fun at all and takes everything really seriously.

She loves to keep everything tidy and clean.

If you DARE disobey her, she'll punish you HARD. No matter how tall or stronger you are than her she'll still easily have control over you.

Her glares are the s3xiest yet scariest thing ever. Her magenta eyes that always seem to be boiling with anger can pierce through your heart and keep you shivering . And her long black hair is always smooth and beautifully straight.

Her height is tall, around 5'8'.

If you ever mess with her, you'll be in a lot of trouble. Her punishments are so painful you'd be crying for your mum. Whips, scratches, bites, knives, chains, poison. Take everything seriously when you're with her.

When she calls you to have tea with her, you won't know what to say. If you say yes, the tea may be poisoned but if you say no, she'll punish you. Dealing with her is really hard.

Never bring up anything about her past to her. Unless you're in for another punishment. But there's one more thing that you should NEVER talk to her about. You guessed it, Shu.

If you know Reiji, she hates Shu's guts. Everything about Shu disgusts Reiji.

She always tells off her sisters for almost everything but for Shu, it's on another level. Girl won't even let her breathe.

Her lectures are long as fck. Like you'll just be sitting there as she goes on muttering nonsense.

I wouldn't say she's really that p3rverted but when she's in the mood, prepare yourself.

For example, if you were studying or just sitting down, she'll come and sit on your l@p and play with your hair or something like that. You'll get the hint that she's in the mood for it if she does that's cause she usually never does that.

🏀 Ayato 🏀

SHE. IS. SO. ANNOYING.

She's like that fly that doesn't go away.

No matter what you do she'll come back chanting for your blood. Yep, just like a fly asking for blood instead of buzzing.

She calls herself 'yours truly' and will ask you to call her that too. Seriously at this point she's gonna make you call the police. But I'd doubt they'd do anything as well.

When she isn't annoying, she's probably just playing basketball or just doing something to distract herself. She is very talented at basketball. Like if you walk into her room, you'll see trophies and medals all over the place. She thinks that she's the best at everything and is very narcissistic and selfish. But sports is like the only thing she's good at, anything else like, maths, science, history, music. She'd fail all those subjects.

Sometimes if she's busy or just doesn't wanna do her homework she'd ask someone to do it for her, and if they don't do it, she'll be ready to fight.

When shes playing basketball, her long red hair keeps coming on her face. She NEVER ties up her hair. Even some teachers ask her to tie up her hair due to how long it is but she never listens.

She is really popular. Mainly in sports and cause everyone thinks she's cool. Her uniform is always put on wrong. She usually leaves the top buttons open. But if she did have the buttons done, they would be all over the place. Like the top button would be on the bottom buttons place. But she really can't care less.

Her eyes are a lot more calmer than the rest of her tomboyish appearance. They remind everyone of nature and beautiful leaves and flowers. They are just calm to look at.

Her height is 5'5'.

She is really rude most of the time and has a lot of demands. You better give her what she wants.

She's also known for being really cheesy and flirty with people. She always winks at people she finds hot and talks to them.

She loves food. Mainly takoyaki but she'll happily eat anything.

She doesn't only annoy people from school but also her brothers. She gets along mostly with laito.

Reiji always has to scold her cause she's always yelling and breaking things around the house purposely.

She is really p3rverted. She would try to touch you where she wants anywhere. At school, home in front of her sisters, out shopping, ANYWHERE. She simply doesn't give a damn about what other ppl are thinking, she doesn't care.

🐻 Kanato 🐻

She's a soft girl.

Whenever you look at her, it'll look like she's really sleepy and weak. But if you know Kanato, she's anything but weak.

Watch what you say to her cause if you make the wrong move, she'll be ready to slice your throat. Regardless of her height.

Talking about her height, she's only 5'2'. Her sisters always mock her cause of that. Sometimes, Ayato takes teddy and throws it to laito and they play with it throwing teddy around. It really frustrates Kanato but she can't really do anything about that cause of her height.

Forget about her height, she's still very strong. Especially to humans. No matter how tall you are, she'll still be stronger but she will have difficulties slapping you or doing anything to your face cause she's just too short.

Her hair is mostly in pigtails or just some cute style but sometimes when she's not motivated her hair is opened.

And her eyes. They're a confusing greyish purple colour. They look very dull yet interesting. What's under her eyes are eye bags, cause she has difficulty sleeping that's why. It may not exactly suit others but it's somehow attractive on her.

She loves to dress up as fairies and princesses. And she likes to pretend that she's having tea parties with her teddies. She loves all her toys but there's one that she'll never ever throw away. Teddy. Teddy is her oxygen. She would kill someone for her precious teddy. But again, it's hard for her to do that when she's, y'know. Short. So sometimes she just harshly punishes whoever touched teddy cause it's too hard for her to just kill them.

She's not really a p3rverted or h0rny person. But when she is she's really physical. And will force you if she wants it.

🎩 Laito 🎩

She's uncontrollably p3rverted. 24/7.

Unbelievably, she's even more annoying than Ayato sometimes.

She's so annoying sometimes you'd just wanna take a knife and stap her, but that won't work cause shes immortal.

She'll make you wanna call the police but she'll somehow act innocent and persuade the police to believe her instead. There's no escape from her.

Her hair is very silky. And her bangs are really long. You often can't see them because she wears a hat.

Her eyes are kinda similar to Ayato's but darker. They look more mischievous too. They kinda look like green venom something poisonous.

She's really flirty. She'll start flirting with anyone she sees.

It is really hard to not fall for her but the more you spend time with her, the more you fall in love. But don't get fooled, cause she might seem like she loves you too but realistically, she doesn't know real what love is. She only believes it's physical, not emotional.

Whenever you bring up the fact that being physical isn't love, she'll just laugh and force herself upon you even more. It's hard to deal with her about this.

She's the same height as Ayato but sometimes she looks taller cause she wears heels. But her real height is 5'5'.

When she isn't p3rverted. (Thank god.) She likes to play crosswords or play the piano. Those activities kinda distract her from her usual p3rverted actions.

When she's in a really good mood, she'll play especially for you! It'll put you in a good mood knowing that she's more than just p3rverted.

⚰️ Subaru ⚰️

A lot of people from her school call her emo and they don't like her. Honestly she acts like she doesn't care but whenever that happens she's really insecure and sad from the inside.

She needs someone to tell he that she's perfect.

She mostly wears black and and acts depressed, that is why everyone call her that.

Her hair is not that long but it goes a bit bellow her shoulders. She always has one side of her hair over her eye. Her eyes are a deep red colour. Like a red apple.

Her height is 5'6', but cause she wears buncky shoes it makes her look a bit taller.

She has serious anger issues that she finds hard to control. Telling her to stop would just make her even more scarier and angrier. Reiji always tells her to stop but she'd do it again and again.

Ayato really gets on her nerves. And laito. Forget it, all the triplets piss her off.

Ayato is just too annoying. Kanto is just like a baby. And laito is just a p3rvert.

She didn't really mind Reiji but if Reiji keeps telling Subaru off for things, she gets pissed off.

Shu is the only sane person in the family to her.

Subaru acts really quiet and uninterested in most things but if she loves you, she'll be ready to give you the world. It could be if you're just friends or lovers.

She also secretly loves listening to rock metal music. Once Ayato found out about it and made fun of her for listening to that, so from that day, Subaru didn't really listen to music any more. If she did, it would be in her earphones. (That she hardly uses).

Shes not a horny person at all. In fact, if you talk about anything relating to the topic, she would just blush and try to run away from you. But if she is in the mood, it's different. She'd act like she doesn't wanna do anything like that but she would secretly want to do the wildest things ever. It's pretty confusing when you're with her.

--------------------------------------------------

((I'm so sorry I answered this late! I hope you like it though. 😊💕))

[lilliathshifts]

Oh my god guys, I forgot to give y’all a little life update 😔

I had an ultrasound done on my thyroid about a month ago and they found a lil nodule on my thyroid which isn’t a big deal at all and is completely normal but when one is found, it’s standard to do a biopsy on it to make sure it’s nothing and luckily 99%+ of the time it’s nothing which yippee.

Today I woke up a 4 am to get ready and head to the hospital for my biopsy and I was a little nervous on my way there I went on my local news stations Facebook and found out my moms cousin got 99+ years in prison without parole bc he’s a multi offender and was caught cooking coca cola so that was a fun thing to wake up to. Anyway get to the hospital and the news is going and they mentioned him. He’s a celebrity. Jk.

So I get admitted and I meet my nurse. He was a dope guy and I genuinely thought he was gay but guess he wasn’t. He started my iv and he said my blood flow was incredible 😮‍💨

But there was so much blood everywhere. I wasn’t expecting to see that when I turned my head. He laughed at me and said “sorry didn’t mean to make this look like a murder scene”. Afterwards he was like “you took this way better than a lot of people, for a second I thought you just weren’t feeling any pain but then I saw that you were gripping your feet and you’re face was wide eyed” 😔

ANYWAY he put saline in the iv to “make it pretty and clean it out” LOL but he said that some people can actually smell the saline as they put it in AND I DID IT WAS SO WEIRD. We talked for a bit about our COVID experiences and I talked about how I got it on my 14th birthday and haven’t had my smell since (yippee 😔) and he said he has never met a person who completely lost their smell and never got it back. He left for a bit and came back and said “girl your labs came back in they’re literally perfect, I’ve never seen anyone who had labs this good” so I’m special I guess.

He gave me this calming med (forgot the name) and it made me feel so dizzy and and the room was SPINNING it was weird then I went back into the operation room.

I want to give a trigger warning but I don’t know WHICH one so just be weary I guess

It was awful and I hope I never go through this again. So I got in the room and my nurse was just talking about me and how I had COVID on my birthday and never got my smell back anyway so the biopsy started and the numbing medicine hurt like hell. It felt like someone STABBING my throat over and over and over again then practically the whole time and the person stayed the biopsy and I didn’t feel that but I did feel her pressing on my throat which was weird but the numbing meds were the only thing I could think about. The pain was horrible and I cried the whole time. They were telling me to pace my breathing bc it was really rapid but I couldn’t because it felt like someone was slicing my throat open. Then it was over and I just stared at the ceiling and they thought I was just high but I was actually just traumatized 🫶

the moment I got back into my room I started bawling. I wasn’t in pain but I was a little sore. My mom got my a cookie and my nurse brought me a water. I stayed in the room for about 30-45 minutes just waiting for all the meds to wear off and I was wheeled out to my car. I got Dutch Bros caramelizar (OMG IT WAS SO GOOD) and my mom got my Whataburger and I got home and watched Supernatural with my mom before going to sleep bc I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

I just woke up from my name to Kallmekris and CelinaSpookyBoo playing and thought “you know, I should probably tell tumble about my day” and so I am. Also after all this today, they LITERALLY slapped a bandaid over my neck 😭

Anyway peace out dawgs

[devinescribe]

If They Hurt You on Accident Pt. 2

Chota

• He'd feel so bad

• Doesn't care that it was an accident, He'd probably apologize for months to come

•Like you have forgotten about it, but he has not

• It was probably something really stupid like him getting scared by you, dropping glass, and in trying to help you, your hand got cut.

"Hi sweetheart," you greeted your boyfriend while he was doing the dishes.

He jumped and dropped the glass he was holding. It shattered on impact, glass shards spilling everywhere on the floor.

"(N/N), are you alright? Im so sorry," he said quickly, kneeling besides you. "Yes, im alright. Its ok Chota," you said with a smile, giving him a quick kiss. You were picking up the bigger pieces of glass. He tried to help, but one of the pieces he held went against your skin. A line of blood trickled at first. Then more and more blood came. "Ugh. My hand itche-... Chota babe, could you get me the broom... and the first aid kit?" You said, finally noticing the rather large cut on your hand.

He freaked out, running to get both things. He set the first aid kit on the counter, and helped you over. He began sweeping all of the glass as you cleaned and dressed your cut.

"I'm so sorry (N/N)... this is all my fault," he muttered as you two lay on the couch. His arms wrapped around you, intertwining his fingers with yours. He brought your wrapped hand up to his lips and gave it a kiss.

"Chota it really isn't your fault. Plus, it could have been worse. I could have gotten glass in my eye," you mentioned, turning to face him. You smiled and kissed his lips. "How can I make it up to you?" He whispered. "Kiss me and I'll consider us even."

Karube

•Dumbass wasn't looking, and went to put his cigarette out, accidentally pushed it onto your arm

• He feels so bad

• Literally gave him a small amount of trauma, will not put cigarettes out without double and triple checking that your arm is not in the vicinity

"Karu~ When can we go home?" You whined, stretching your arm out. "Whenever that man leaves," he responded. You played with his hand, comparing how big his was to yours.

When the man finally left, Karube began cleaning up, lighting a cigarette. You helped wipe down tables as he  organized all the alcohol at the bar.

You were done, so you sat down, arm stretched out once more. Except you didn't notice it was right next to an ash tray.

"Alright I'm done here," he said, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and putting it out on what he thought was the ash tray.

You yelped in pain, pulling your arm back.

"Karube Daikichi, what the hell was that for!" You yelled,  rubbing your arm. "(Y/N), I'm so sorry are you alright?" He said panicked, grabbing your arm.

"Karu~ That hurt," you whined, as he inspected your arm. It was only a mark, it would heal easily seeing as it wasn't left on long.

"Didn't know you were such a sadist," you teased. He kissed up your arm, gently rubbing where he had burned you. His warm hands felt nice against your cold skin.

"I'm so sorry baby," he muttered against your injury. "Its ok! Really, I mean it was an accident," you said, smiling. You grabbed his hand in your own. "Now take me home, I'm tireddd," you complained with a laugh. He laughed, sliding over the counter. "Of course princess."

Banda

• Mother fucker doesn't even notice he hurt you

• Sits there and smiles while helping you clean up.

• Sadist but for real

• you probably were walking past him, and he just so happened to have a scalpel in his hand.

Oh how your boyfriend loved being in the borderlands. He was always planning something. A master manipulator in the games

"Oi, Banda, do we have to go to a game tonight?" You whined, being tired from the past game you had played. You had at least 17 days on your visa. Maybe even more, considering Banda forced you to go with him.

"Hmm... I guess we could take a break," he sighed. You walked past him, not noticing the scalpel in his hand.

It pushed against you, creating a fine line across your arm. Or at least that's what you thought it was.

What you didn't realize was how deep the scalpel had actually gone.

"Ne, (N/N), you're bleeding," he said, grabbing your arm. "Oh.. yeah! I passed by you... the scalpel. It's no more than a paper cut, promise," you said with a smile. He smiled back. Grabbing your arm, pressing his hand into your wound making you hiss in pain. "Does that feel like just a paper cut love?" He whispered into your ear. You shook your head.

"Ok ok Banda you win, help me," you said finally. He smiled brightly, sitting you down to clean up your wound.

"It will sting," he said, before pouring some alcohol directly onto the cut. You jumped, trying to pull your arm away from the source of pain. "Ah ah ah, stay still love," he tutted, a shadow going over his face. It was times like these you remembered his true nature.

"You're a fucking sadist," you hissed after he had bandaged you up. "Oh, but you love me for it. My sweet (Y/N), you enjoy it just as much as me."

"Mm... kiss me and consider us even."

"With pleasure."

Enji Matsushita [Jack of Hearts, in case you're wondering]

•Little emo looking ass mother fucker [i say as if I didn't have the biggest crush on him]

• Would laugh, because he thinks you were being dramatic until you tell him what actually happened

• Then he feels bad because oh no my loving Girlfriend who actually helps me do everything around here smh

• Then he goes to worry that you'll hate him forever

• Oh, but you're just so precious, he can't stand it, he just has to make you feel better

• Something that could actually potentially literally break your hand, like a fucking cell door getting slammed onto your hand

"Enji, do I have to?" You complained, watching your boyfriend tinker with something.

You had to help him test things for his game. And honestly, the fear you had of his little experiment going wrong was through the roof.

"Ah? (Y/N), it'll help me greatly... I promise you'll be safe," he whispered.

Today was testing out the closing of the cell doors. If someone could get out it was no fun.

You two walked over to the cells and you sighed. "You owe me big time Matsu," you muttered, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled softly. You were glad that in times like this, he was still soft and kind to you.

You stepped into the room, still having your hand on the door frame. Suddenly you heard creaking behind you and a slam.

After, you screamed in immense amounts of pain, doubling over. You heard your boyfriend laugh. Tears welled up in your eyes.

"I didn't know my princess didn't like being locked up by herself," he said, still giggling like a maniac.

"En-enji, open the door, my hand," you said, choking on your words, trying to distract yourself from the pain. "Your ha- shit!" He cursed.

You felt pressure relieve itself off your hand, and you yelped.

"(Y/N), oh I'm so sorry," he said putting his arms around you, helping you over to the medics station inside the penitentiary.

"You fucking asshole!" You screamed, tears rolling down your face, as you tried not to look at your hand. He lightly flinched at you tone. "I know, I know I'm so sorry," he whispered, inspecting your hand. Surprisingly, no broken bones from the feel of it. 'I'll have to make it stronger then... not that I want her to break her hand, but since it didn't. It need to be heavier and stronger.'

Even in a time of crisis, he was still focused on his game.

"Close it and open it for me," he instructed. You did, biting onto your lip from the pain. You could still move them, meaning that the worst was the bruising and the pain. He still bandaged it up tightly to help with the pain. And to stop you from living it too much

"I'm not testing out any of your shit anymore Matsu," you mumbled as you two walked back to where you were. He held your uninjured hand and nodded.

"Alright. What can I ever do to make you forgive me my sweet?" He said as he let you sit down on one of the chairs.

He got on his knees in front of you, making you blush. "Enji... it's alright, it was an accident I-"

"Accident or not... you're my darling girlfriend, I have to make it up to you, tell me what can I do?"

"So dramatic my love..."

"Only for you..."

Ahahahahahahaha

Also, the last 2 were requested by people, so if you're wondering why they are here, that is why. If they are ooc, my bad they had like 10 minutes of screen time and personality check. I've read the manga and it is about the same over there so... yeah

[the-amalgam-house]

Fuck the fucking thoughts! The last memories I have of my dad pre-addiction pre-anger explosions were literally worn I was SIX years old... he became a cop with I was 8, I have no idea where 7 went, and he started drinking and being incredibly angry and just.

He'd been that way ever since. I know it's PTSD. It manifests in anger and alcoholism. Even now he has so much trouble keeping away, even if overall he's softened on the after part.

My brother never really got to see him without the drink and without the anger. His whole entire self aware life had just been that version of Papi. He never got to see the man I knew. There's still a good bit of that man in there and you can see it in his tender/sober/stable moments. He loves children and he's always had this sense of pride and being self sufficient. But my siblings never really got to see the non angry man that was our dad. I was old enough to remember.

The drinking poisoned him...or, well, the police force maybe did it first. Idk. He hurt us so much, and honestly I can only be but so mad at him now, knowing that he himself was hurting. Hurt people hurt people after all. And you can never again be a previous version of yourself, so there's no real use in wishing there was. It's just grief that keeps coming back, over and over again.

I can remember him setting up a little treasure nap game in the back yard. Michael was in a carrier and Nina and I were given a hand drawn map to figure out where the hidden items were. I remember Papi going outside in the cold when I couldn't just to build a snowman while I watched in the window. He'd throw snowballs at that window to make me laugh. I remember when he helped me to not be afraid of the sharks in the aquarium by carrying me and holding close while we got closer, and realized the glass was keeping us safe. That Papi would keep me safe from the sharks. He did the same with me for thunder storms, tho I was too young to remember that one.

I remember how utterly severely upset I was when he had to go back to NY for 2 weeks after we moved to VA. I felt like I would never see him again. Probably the second most traumatic thing I'd faced in my life up to that point, the first being invasive and painful allergy testing when I was...idk, like 5. I remember him when he was initially softened by having kids. That was probably roughly the last time I remember all of us being as close to completely happy as I was able to comprehend.

I remember the time he and Mami got into one of their many screaming matches. Mami was made to walk outside, Papi locked the door. Mami banged on the door for what seemed like forever, and I went out of my room to try to help. But Papi was still awake, and threatened to hit me off I didn't go back to bed. I froze in fear, until he gave in and told me to open the front door. Mami had to hide her anger and sadness when it was me who opened the door and not him.

I remember calling for his help when Mikey was hitting me. I was crying already and Papi was the only adult in the house, but he was sleeping. 12 and 14 hour shifts as an officer, and the rule was not to wake him up. But who else could I have cried to for help? So he woke up, hit me with a belt for waking him up, then hit my brother 5 or 6 times for hitting me. Mikey doesn't remember it, but for me it's clear as day.

I remember Papi completely trashing our room (Nina and I shared a room our whole life then), just because we didn't clean it like ye wanted. My cute hand made candles had been crushed under the bookshelf they had been decorating just outside the bedroom, now sitting in a heap in the middle of the floor. Michael said it happened twice, but I only remember once.

I remember the times he would punch walks, Break Michael's door, throw and break glass. Blood everywhere. From age 9 to 22. Flying into a rage at the drop of a hat, everyone being so afraid of him even if he didn't physically hurt us (not after age 10). When she was at her lowest, Mami did the same to him. It didn't help, but she reached her limit. I remember her worry when I punched and broke my flimsy tin closet door. She was going to chase him, but the sound scared her and she came to me instead.

I remember, only after being reminded by my brother, when they were both out drinking and promised to be back to make dinner and couldn't come back, so I had to come up with dinner instead. I had to be maybe 11 or 12. I still don't actually fully remember it, because it wasn't me, but it's a vague feeling in my mind now.

I remember feeling so worthless and hopeless that I couldn't get to my baby brother, having to be alone in his own room, while Nina and I had each other to cry with. I remember two years after he left the force, and the same year he almost died, was the first time I truly wanted to kill myself. I'd always thought about running away before, but couldn't leave my mom and siblings behind. I'd thought about telling my dad I hated him, but it wasn't true and I was afraid anyway. I thought the only solution would be if I just stopped existing cause I couldn't take it anymore. How sad is that? A freshman in high school wanting to die cause the drunk father they once looked up to became unbearably abusive.

He wouldn't call it abuse though. He had it much worse, as he would often bring up. He was abused, but wouldn't call it abuse either, at least not what his mom did. She used to be a really rough woman, tho I've only known her to be soft and sweet in my lifetime.

I remember when I found out what really happened to my dog, my best friend, Tymber. How Papi was so angry after a long shift that he threw my dog against a wall and broke his leg. That I never got to see my only friend again cause the vet didn't want to send him back to an abusive home. That happened just before I turned 12, and I didn't learn the truth until about 19-ish. Do you know how devastated I was? I still have a picture of him somewhere, my little puppy, barely a year old and terrified of my dad, just like the rest of us.

I do remember some good times too. He tried to make up for all the work time with high quality time together. We watched DBZ every week. He took us on father-kid trips both in a group and individually. He liked taking us to amusement parks and carnivals when he could. He danced with me at my sweet 16, and took me to walk around downtown after. We did have some good times, and I love him.

I just hate everything he did to us. I hate that he can't even remember it. I hate that alcohol has eaten away at his mind for over 20 years and you can see how it's poisoned him. I hate what his family did to him.

[krombopulos-mercenary]

If Micheal had had the time - if he'd had the oxygen - he'd have the presence of mind to try wiping the blood off of the knife handle. It all just made everything too slippery, his serrated graspers couldn't find the purchase necessary to tug the damn thing out of the corpse.

The drone was on him too quickly, and his grip was crushing.

Mike could not only feel but hear his own chitin begin to creak and even crack as the pressure mounted. His bleary eyes stared into the face of the blood thirsty Bezerked out asshole who'd finally be the one to lay claim to his life after so many had tried and failed. What a way to fucking go. As much as Krombopulous Micheal tried to fight his fate, it seemed the Federation would be the death of him after all.

His own Beserker state left the defector feeling only rage and annoyance at this, instead of crushing despair. It was all he could do to struggle and gasp in that iron grip, his end seemingly imminent as Mike's very chest felt like it was about to give-

SHUNK!

Tunneling vision focused in on that knife that had sunk itself into the Drone's skull. Shining gold for the golden boy of the Federation. Scrimblo Kenneth made his enviable entrance. To Micheal's tremendous luck; the defector barely managing to land and keep on his feet once released from his would be murderer's literal death grip. Mike quickly finds the wall once more, leaning on it for support as he watched the Grand Leader of Outpost 8 stick his landing. The assassin just trying to get his breath back, his still struggling lung making him audibly- and painfully - wheeze with each breath.

Their difference in state couldn't be more different. Micheal hadn't even realized he'd sat down on the ground, back still on the wall, until his knife was being skid towards him and Kenneth was ordering him to his feet. It would only be much later on, when allowed actual time to think, that Micheal would feel so sour about just how quickly his Beserker self followed Ken's command. Regardless of their current situation, the way the killer would grab up his weapon, force himself to attention on his feet, and step into formation with Scrimblo on order would just not sit right with Mike once back to his regular mind.

But in the moment, it's all a nonissue. Micheal stepping into position at Kenneth's side and trying to take measured breathes, as if to force his bad lung to work properly.

"How many more? Everyone else I was with is headed up in the elevator. We were on the way to route M." He gasps out quickly, wiping his knife off on whatever clean segment was left on his shirt.

==

It was like a scene from one of those stupid horror movies. The ones where a character goes 'It's right behind me, isn't it?" right before whatever monster they'd been trying to outrun finally ends them. Except it wasn't a movie. It was reality.

And yet Amy could do nothing but lay there and watch it all unfold before her, all the same. Fear and survival instinct making her go still and silent as the bullets kept flying and bouncing around the elevator. Knicking Rick right on the fucking cheek and either killing or injuring others in the space in varying degrees. Amy was one of the lucky few to not get a mark- yet.

It's a relief when finally the gun was empty, but it was short lived when they all realized that the bullet hailstorm had NOT ended with the little void creature shot to bits. Tension mounted as everyone who could looked around in anxious horror, all of them finding the tiny lizard person just as Rick was following it's spit trail and looking up-

Amy let out a small whimper, her pale faced fear mirroring Rick's own. She was still frozen still as she witnessed that horrible alien thing let out it's hungry little war cry and leap for it's target of choice. Her red faceted eyes going wide as it bit onto the human's hand and Rick started to , understandably, freak the fuck out!

His blood went everywhere as the drug dealer stumbled about in his blind, pained panic. Tripping over bodies and corpses in the small space and splattering the walls in red blood. Finally, finally Amy got into action when some of that blood splattered across her face. Her mouth and nose protected thanks to the bandana she still had tied on.

It was too much. A switch flipped deep in her mind, down in the primal recesses. And she was up and on her feet with the knife from someone's belt in her hand before anyone else in the space would realize she was even moving. Amy was not a Bezerker. Had never been trained to become a Bezerker. But she did have the same blood as her brother, that potential for crazed strength was there.

And right now her body was pulling out all the stops, moving more quickly than it had in literal years- almost as if she'd suddenly reverted back to her prime. Her narrowed glare a one for one comparison to Micheal's own in that moment.

Just as the young soldier would shakily raise his gun, Amy was moving up on Rick. Her knife raised high. The human was moving erratically, but that didn't mean his movements weren't trackable. All she had to do was wait for his arm to swing back around and -THERE!

She swung, aiming for the little lizardperson's spindly neck in order to just decapitate the damn thing! The knife was sharp, it's blade unyielding, and the creature was weak and new to life. Barely having it's first taste of blood. It should work-!

X

[hamstergiukie]

Treat you better K.HG

REPOST from my old account !!

genre: angst, slight fluff, childhood friends to lovers

warnings: blood, a lil violence

song rec: treat you better by shawn mendes

notes: this is my first attempt at a ‘full-length’ fic for onewe so i’m sorry if it’s actually garbage lolz. my friend and i literally screamed coming up with the plot for this, we loved the prompt so much:( anyways i hope you enjoy! and thank you to the person who requested this i much appreciate it:’)

“it’s Hyungu, leave a message!” a few tears escaped your eyes, “Hyungu, Kyle just got home and he’s so drunk. He’s really scaring me, i need you to come pick me up.” you whisper into the phone, “i don’t know what to do, please help me.” behind you a loud crash was heard, you whipped around to see what had happened and found your boyfriend lunging towards you with a piece of a broken vase in his hand, you backed away quickly but the shard of glass cut your cheekbone. you whimpered in pain. your phone beeped loudly. ducking past your now ex-boyfriend, you ran out of your apartment.

it was dark, cold and you forgot your jacket but you were away from Kyle. passing by sketchy looking alley ways and dark shops you reached a park. you sat, shivering on a swing set for what seemed like only a few minutes. before you knew it, the moon was high in the sky and an out of breath Hyungu was running towards you like a mad man.

Kanghyun bent over to catch his breath, “y/n!! i was looking everywhere for you and,” he had straightened up, “you’re bleeding! are you okay???” his hands reached out to cup your cheek, before you could react you had flinched away from him. his hand fell to his side, a frown on his face. “what did he do to you? i should have beat him up more when i was there.” he mumbled the last part to himself but you still heard him. “Hyungu, what did you do?” you stood up from the swing set, your legs a little shaky and your shivering only increasing. Kanghyun’s eyebrows knit together, he pulled off his hoodie and put it around your shoulders.

you snuggle into the soft fabric, your nose buried in it. Kanghyun smiled softly at you, “when i said i went everywhere i meant it, i should have expected you would come here. this is where we came all the time as kids.” you smiled at him, he opened his arms for a hug which you happily dove into his arms for.

the hug was warm, full of love and gentleness. “i’m sorry i missed your call, i’m so sorry. you deserve so much better than him, you deserve the entire world. i could treat you better, i would pull the stars from the heavens for you.” he whispered into your hair, you pulled away from the hug slightly, so that both of your noses were brushing slightly. “i love you Hyungu, it’s always been you. i just, i thought that if i dated other people i could get over you, but i couldn’t. i was scared my feelings would ruin our friendship and-” Kanghyun cut you off with a gentle kiss.

“it’s okay love, it’s all okay. i’m yours now, i love you so much.” Kanghyun gently kissed your forehead, “let’s get you somewhere warm, and clean up that cut!”

•

Bonus:

later at Kanghyun’s apartment, he cleaned up the cut on your cheek and you spent the rest of the night cuddled up together. talking quietly under the covers, his fingersran gently through your hair. deep in your hearts you both know, a lifetime of happiness awaits you. and soon a deep sleep overcame you.

[neeharlow]

The amount of do as I say not as I do in this house is insane. Now I love my in-laws. They are the most amazing people. They literally saved my life when the doctor was going to deny me transplant. But omfg. I’m. Not. A. Maid. And after having what my surgeon called “one of the most brutal procedures to recover from..” I shouldn’t be having to do this shit one week out. Now to preface this I have a HUGE problem asking for help and I often times will deny it if offered (thanx dad! >:( )

Father in law: Make sure you always clean up your mess in the kitchen and leave it ready for the next people to use. 

The past week, and even before I went into the hospital, they make dinner and leave everything out. Don’t clean the food they didn’t eat off their plates after eating, leave the trash from food prep all over the kitchen, leave the dishes everywhere (in the sink, on the stove, on the table) and just leave the kitchen in utter chaos. Now they work hard. 7 days a week. They own two quilt shops and are burdened by a ton of stress so I completely understand leaving it over night and taking care of it in the morning. But when it sits there for days, that pisses me off. Especially if I or my husband were to do the same thing, I’d sure the fuck hear about it. With either a note about the it being a community kitchen or a lecture. 

Now due to Father of the Century aka my POS emotionally abusive father who would scream at me until he was hoarse over the littlest messes, I have bad, bad, bad, anxiety about messes. So I end up cleaning their mess just so I can calm my own ass down. Plus I always feel like I’m never doing enough, (even though I’m 3rd stage liver disease, end stage renal disease and heart issues who is waiting for transplant and has rarely any energy to feed myself let alone clean other people’s shit.) so not doing anything just adds to the anxiety. 

Now, I admit, I am not the cleanliest person. My husband and I’s room is such a disaster. (He’s a hoarder and we both have ADHD) that we have moved temporarily into the guestroom until we can get our bedroom sorted out. And honestly, it’s been sitting there for three months untouched because my husband works nights and has stressed induced narcolepsy. So he walks in, sees the mess, gets stressed out and gets over whelming tired and I barely have strength half the time to do anything.

Back to the kitchen. A week ago, I go into the hospital and get what is called a spleen embolization. That is where when you have an enlarged spleen that keeps stealing all the blood and hoarding it, they can go in and insert metal coils into it cutting off the blood supply, basically killing off pert of it so it will stop being an asshole. This is the second time I’ve had this. So I know when the doctors tell me it is one of the worst and painful experiences I know they aren’t fucking around. It was working for 4 years, everyone was hoping I’d have been transplanted before they had to do it again because the risks the second time around are much worse. From infection to the spleen becoming just a giant mass. But unfortunately my meld score (liver disease sickness score) isn’t high enough for me to be very high on the wait list. 

Anyway, I get home.. there are no glasses, no plates, and no bowls. Now I know the bowls are my husband. He takes them into the room and they never come out. But seriously? No glasses? They said there just wasn’t enough to run the dishwasher. Which okay, I understand that. I’ve been home three days and the kitchen sits looking like a scene out of Hoarders. I finally get pissed enough that I doubled my Norco (bad! very very bad! I have been addicted to opioids before, actually the last time I had this procedure is when I became hooked on dilauted, an opioid ten times stronger than heroine.) and cleaned the kitchen. Not a single thank you. Not even an acknowledgement that hey, you’re NOT supposed to be doing ANYTHING right now.

Two weeks in and I’m still the only one cleaning the kitchen. My husband gets on me constantly for over doing it. And he’s offered more than once to help me or even do it himself. But because my ass is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning (the plates are stacked by colors and size as are the silverware and glasses) so even if he did it I’d still be in there redoing whatever he did. My mother-in-law was a professional maid for a period of her life so when she cleans, she is damn good at it. 

Today was the straw that broke the camels back. One of them thought it would be a good idea to store two slushes in two zip-block baggies IN THE FRIDGE. Nope, not the freezer where they wouldn’t melt. But the fucking fridge. I go to make my husband some food because he has a migraine and there is this red liquid all over the middle shelf. It’s sticky and all the food on the shelf is sitting in an inch of it. I find the two bags. One white one didn’t leak. But the I pick up the red one and it starts draining all over the fridge. I’m fucking LIVID. Due to having to do so much I’m on my last norco. So after cleaning their dinner mess I now had to clean the fridge. When cleaning out the fridge I found a ton of expired food. Which I can’t throw out because fucking CA has this thing where food waste can’t be put in the trash, it has to go in the green waste. However, my father-in-law’s fear of animals getting into the green waste I can’t. So I just throw everything into a garbage bag and threw it right back in the fridge. Not. My. Fucking. Problem. 

So now I have zero pain pills left because I went through them like they were water in order to actually clean and take care of shit because no one else would. And I’m terrified of getting more because 1) my past history with pain killers & 2) It’s too soon and I don’t want to be flagged as an addict at the doctors office. It was difficult for me to get off them back in 2020, I have three generations of addicts in my family. So there is nothing for me to do other than just suffer through it. Due to my liver/kidney issues I can’t have normal OTC stuff like ibuprofen or Tylenol. Gonna be a fun rest of recovery. :(

[fuckzachariah]

aleburton​:

Her head careened, glinting eyes staring right back into his. She sneered. It was impossible contain in light of his remark. Death seemed like an untroubled option. It would be swift and all of the Earthly problems that plagued him here would not follow in the afterlife. Remaining with Alex, however? Was there a grimmer fate? Especially now, aware that though they may have loved each other deeply, it was not sustainable. In some twisted tale of star-crossed lovers, they would be forced to watch the other move on or at least try to. She always wondered what her life would look like several years from now. When she had asked Zach that evening in the hospital the same question, it was not without purpose. She wanted to see the design for his life. Compare and contrast. Did they have a future together? Could they be anything other than what they were? Toxic, violent, fiery, and tumultuous. With no response from Zach, it remained unclear and somewhere buried inside of her, she still wanted more. She understood now that perhaps a fairytale was unconscionable, but was peace? Out of all things she had been afforded, that was one thing she could never quite get her hands on, and it was free of charge. Go figure.

She watched the way his gaze swept over her and smiled, but only momentarily as he scolded her for moving once more. She had half a mind to reach between them and wreathe her fingers around his cock. It could have been much worse. Had he forgotten already the many times she was able to force him into submission with just a few soft strokes? Alex wasn’t quite as willing to fall back into their nasty little habits and so she fended off that urge. Instead, she cradled his chin in the palm of her hand. Her tone saccharine sweet, “And what did I just fucking say? I’ll remind you just in case you’re thinking with the wrong head. You should consider asking me a little nicer.” He would continue his masquerade, all the whilst violating another boundary she erected. Zach kneaded the sensitive skin of her thighs, seemingly self-assured as ever judging by the rich tone to his voice. She shook her head softly, prepared to reprimand him for it until the game resumed. Luke shared the challenge with their audience who once again luxuriated in this salacious experience. It didn’t matter what your relationship status was, your sexual orientation. Nothing and no one were off limits. Alex hadn’t considered that she would be chosen again so soon.

She also presumed that they would all heed Zach’s subtle warning. Sharing was not his strong point. Even allowing Aubrey to taste her for those few minutes was clearly agonizing. Offering her up to someone like Luke? It was inconceivable. Aubrey planted the suggestion, and the group was swift to impose it. Alex looked amongst their faces, genuinely baffled at how they had come to decide upon her. Maybe it was some sort of test to see if they were as unbothered as they pretended to be. Zach’s fingertips nudged further into her skin, accompanied by a quiet curse only she had likely heard. She wasn’t sure what he wanted or how to respond. It wasn’t like she had any opportunity to consult with him. At least, not with a hoard of sexually aroused bodies surrounding them. Luke had struck gold tonight, earning the ability to be serviced by not one by two of their Leading Ladies. She turned to look at him as he approached, his fingers outstretched to usher her into a quiet, darkened space. Alex waited for Zach to answer, to end the game right then and there but he didn’t. His hands loosened from around her thighs and suddenly, she was Luke’s for the taking. Alex was aware she too had another option. The chance to take a shot and simply call it a night, but she was taken aback by his lack of effort to protect her. She nodded her head slowly, gathering her lip between her teeth as she attempted to make sense of . She rose to her feet and didn’t bother looking back. Was there something to feel bad for? He had helped her to make this choice, after all. She refused to hold Luke’s hand, pushing it aside as she flashed ahead of him. “Okay, damn,” he murmured, following behind as she led him toward the powder room. She would honor the dare, but of course, on her terms. She knocked gently into the door, entering into the same space she’d consumed that delicious half a tablet only an hour ago. Suddenly, she felt the urge to ingest more to help cope. If only she’d come better prepared. Before he could attempt to make good on their agreement, she interrupted. “I don’t know you very well, Luke,” she spoke into the darkness. “And while I’m sure this is likely never an issue you come across with most girls, it’s kind of an issue for me.” Ale monitored her tone, aware that she could come across as rather cutthroat without trying.

“Okay,” he breathed, maintaining a safe distance between them. “What do you want to know?” She pressed her back against the sink, tapping manicured half-moons delicately against porcelain as she considered. “I’m just trying to figure you out. That’s all. If you are who you portray, or if you’re more complex than that.”  Luke cleared his throat, hesitant with his response. Undoubtedly, this was not what he anticipated when he agreed to the challenge. It was safe to assume, however, that he too had his own presumptions about her. A stuck-up, little bitch? Control freak? A complete downer? She had after all ruined their night of chaos following Lola’s album release. Maybe this would allow them to clear the air. Come to an understanding of some sort, especially if she were to join him on Zach’s upcoming tour. “What’s with you and Sarah? What does she make of all of this?” Alex kept her voice low, aware there may be small gathering right outside the door, ready to react upon their exit.

She seemed bothered, countering him over her shoulder with a look that once upon a time spelled trouble. It spelled a fight, or hate fucking, or grovelling, or you’re spending the night alone tonight. Which he was anyway, so fuck it, right? His head lolled back as she went, a defeated groan rippling through him. In truth the back and forth teared a giddy hiccuping in his stomach, but still he battled with the urge to chase after her, have it out then and there. Do you want autonomy, or not? He had to keep reminding him it was his decision to invite her back into his life on these conditions, and remind himself of the more painful fact that it was unlikely she would’ve agreed if not for the stipulations. Given time alone to think of them together in there, his blood grew legs and shifted around inside him like a lumbering predator, waiting to take him alive. He knew Luke, and all the foul things he would to do Alex if given the opportunity. Zach trusted Alex more than he trusted himself, though - she wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want to do, or anything she wasn’t in control of. Except maybe when it came to Zach.

The door latched behind them and Aubrey set a timer on her phone, giggling as she turned away to continue the game. Not before, however, ghosting past him, tickling her wiggling fingers across his should and whispering to him. “You sure are brave, Z-baby. Remember last time you let Luke loose on one of your little girlfriends?” She pouted dramatically, then cackled and twirled away. His whole body went rigid as though experiencing that years-old pain freshly again. He could’ve knocked Aubrey clean out. It would only take one, easy swing. He tried to ignore the swelling anxiety before it could bloom into something worse, something violent. But another problem immediately arose - with Alex out of sight, she no longer a pinnacle on which to hone his attention, and drugs were left unattended quite literally everywhere. His body almost shook with tension, chin hiking suddenly, sniffing as he glanced around at the multitudinous possibilities. One bump and all this inner conflict would seem so simple. He’d be one track, happy, ignorant. Peaceful. He stood very suddenly, only for Ryan’s hand to land hard on his shoulder in an attempt to sit him back down. Zach looked at him, but did not relent under his strength. “You good?” Ry queried, innocent enough to any eavesdroppers, but his timbre sagged with the weight of his implication. He knew just from Zach’s body language how he was feeling, what he was searching for. Zach glanced rapidly over his shoulder, watching as Tasha and a couple others indulged so easily in what was namely controlling his life at present, snorting lines from the backs of iPhone cases. “Sure,” Zach answered curtly after a beat of silence. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Ryan’s eyes darkened as he shot him a pointed look. Zach noticed suddenly that Ryan, too, had not touched the stuff tonight. Now he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Ryan getting high at all since Zach returned from hospital. He wished he wasn’t agitated enough right now to be grateful for his loyalty. Instead, it only irritated him. Easy for you, is it? Eden joined them, mumbling low enough for only the three of them to hear. “What the fuck are you and Ale doing, by the way?” her tone was light, teasing, but he knew her curiosity was genuine. “Aren’t you supposed to be broken up, and, I don’t know… staying that way?” Zach stretched, cracking his back in an effort to appear absent distracted, bones popping all down his back. “We are. You think I’d be letting that,” his thumb gestured over his shoulder towards the sealed bathroom door, “go down if we were together?” His smile was pained and false. His eyes were everywhere. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure he needed something. If he snuck away, just for a…

“Zach,” Ryan reprimanded firmly, understanding without a word having been communicated what was going through his mind. “What?!” Zach exploded suddenly, his hand coming down hard on the table. He retracted immediately, regretting his outburst. His neck lurched and his eyes rolled as he fought to reign himself in. When his face came back up, he was smiling warmly, and his voice was level. “Sorry.” He glanced between the two. Arguably his best friends, sans Alex. He often wished that people loving him didn’t carry so much responsibility. “I just kinda feel fucking insane,” he admitted, a rare moment of total honesty, his face plainly communicating its truth. If he were to continue in this candidness he’d add another disclaimer; I just fucking miss her even though she’s right here with me and I don’t wanna fuck this up but it feels like the only thing I know how to do and the only way I know how to work through those feelings is by fucking with her or maybe just fucking her or snorting four lines before the seven minutes is over and praying for the best. But, instead, he twisted his face up into a bitter kind of acceptance and looked at his friends, then said, “you know?”

Eden nodded slowly, glancing at the bathroom door and leaning closer to her friends as though telling a secret. “Not that I have an agenda…” she began tentatively, her eyes flitting between the boys. Ryan smiled faintly. “But…” he encouraged. She nodded. “But, you know, I think she feels the same. Insane, I mean. You’re winding her up on purpose, right? It’s working. She had my hand in an iron grip during your dare with Tasha. Not that I think that was necessarily the smartest technique if your goal is to earn her trust back.” Zach stared at her, wordless and blinking. “Look, all I’m saying is, I don’t think winning her back is totally out of the question. And I only just got her back, so… I’d appreciate you didn’t send her running all over again.” Zach’s instinct was to shoot Eden down for having dared assumed his feelings, or feeling she had any right to speak on them. Him. Alex. His teeth sank into his inner cheeks to stop himself from lashing out, saying something too cruel. This was one benefit to his abstinence - the ability to hold his damn tongue.

His eyes flew skittishly to the door once again, stomach warping imagining the picture that may exist just beyond it. Alex didn’t care for Luke, but Alex had once hated him, too. And look how that turned out. He shivered. “Uh oh,” Ryan muttered, faintly teasing. “You said something wrong, babe,” he said to Eden. Zach grabbed his arm very suddenly, startling Ryan out of his easy manner. He didn’t always mean to be aggressive. It was just his nature - and he felt trapped, desperate. “I need to drink something hard or I’m five seconds away from loading up on so much coke I give myself a brain bleed. Or I go in that bathroom and make a huge fucking mistake.” Ryan pulled back to meet his eyes, trying to gauge his sincerity. Zach stared openly back at him. Ryan flipped his arm out from Zach’s and in turn grabbed his wrist, hauling him to the corner bar, muttering. “Fine, but I hope you know I’m fuckin’ pissed about it.”

[prettyeyesnof4ce]

hey, i have a request. matt accidentally yells at reader and she slips into a panic attack and matt has to bring her back to reality

Adtrita

Matt Murdock x GN!reader

A/N: Hello! I hope this didn’t drag on longer than expected, I went above and beyond to make this prompt work like I thought it deserved. Also, I hope making the reader gender neutral is ok. Otherwise, enjoy. 

WC: 2.8k

Warnings/Tags: typical argument about daredevil, use of y/n, panic attack, heavy angst with comfort, mentions of blood and injury, and as always matt’s guilt.

Read on AO3 Masterlist

Awaking beside your significant other was something anyone could get used to. It was supposed to be an experience you’d happily take advantage of, soaking up those little moments before slipping away. 

However, for you two, those moments always had room for arguments.

Matt’s skin was heated, which was a given, having awoken pressed against his back  Nose hovering just above his shoulder, your eyes minded the light in the room, breath steadying as every other sense adjusted.

Matt was still in slumber. You squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to disturb him, “desperately needed the rest” you thought. However, those humble, sweet thoughts were just the calm before the storm. 

The damp sensation hit you first before you found where it came from. Red, as deep and carmine as ever.

It wasn’t the blood itself that scared you at all, what really frightened you was the absence of reaction. Desensitized, for lack of a better word. 

Only, yes, it did warrant a reaction, causing words that had been bubbling inside you for the longest to climb the walls of your throat.

Your deep exhale alone was what had awoken Matt, if the sudden loss of your warmth against his backside wasn’t enough to do it. Taking a step back, you gawked at the round stain just beneath his torso.

He’d sustained this wound just hours ago, yet the way he stitched it was way too shallow to have kept it stable through the night. The blood had seeped through, spilling over his side and down his back, smeared thanks to your presence behind him. It was firmly permeated on your night shirt, covering the entire lower half of your torso, almost lurching onto your thighs. How you didn’t notice through the night was baffling. 

“Mmm” Matt was beginning to stir, reaching his left arm out toward you as he shot awake to the unmistakable scent of copper. He pressed his palm flat against the wound, wincing as he steadied himself to sit up. You could only watch with no semblance of emotion, only a ball of tension settling in your throat silently. 

“Fuck” He muttered, feeling around the area and then figuring out that his blood had spread onto you.

You were peering down and then back up at the staining while he faced you and attempted to speak. His mouth teetered from open to shut. Somehow he could already sense the discomfort building in you, almost accompanying his own.

“Are you ok?” He hesitated for a moment before speaking, taking note of the way your breath was low, almost trembling.

“...are you?” You barely managed, only a small whisper emerging in the sea of your thoughts. It was impossible to appreciate Matt asking you that first, it only elevated the way in which you ached after him.

“Yes, I’m fine, just a little blood–”

“It’s not just a little blood, Matt” The words finally came to light, choking back a sob as your eyes couldn’t help but focus on the now dried blood that was spread seemingly everywhere. Any thought of helping him restitch it or cleaning him off was overshadowed by the obvious sadness you felt. 

Sadness representing that you were fucking tired, the way tears collecting in your ducts let Matt know that pain within you without needing a descriptor. Your chest caved and filled with oxygen again and again, big heaves preparing Matt for more.

“It’s a lot, it's too much” Your words transcended the literal context, yet Matt refused to acknowledge it that way just yet. He knew exactly what you meant beyond the surface.

The environment that the tension created was thick, too thick for 7 in the morning. But, this was a unique disposition, it wasn’t everyday that a relationship had the propensity to barrel toward chaos at all times because of one partners’ occupation. It was an unconventional thing that threatened either of your wellbeing, a whirlwind of emotions was expected. The same way you expect thunder on a cloudy day. Like a timebomb that kept getting reset to its former. This wouldn’t be the first time a rude awakening such as this one warranted yet another argument. 

“So what, it was a bad job, I’ll do better next time–” Matt began, beginning to get off the bed.

“What if there is no next time…” you switched back to a mumble, prompting Matt to scoff. Your chest suddenly felt heavy.

“Sweetheart–I’ll be fine” He began, about to reach out with his right hand in an attempt to comfort you, but you leaned backward to dodge it. His mouth flattened at your reaction, the glint of impatience becoming visible in the way he blinked rapidly.

“What if you like the way you hurt, Matthew?” Your voice elevated higher than a mumble, sternly stating your concern. Even if his expression roused fear in you, you were exhausted from witnessing his pain. The blood that Matt shed from his righteousness was now spreading onto you, a weight that you feared would never settle correctly. It was clotting and stalling the bloodstream of this union. 

“W’makes you think that?”  Matt’s head was 45 degrees to the left and his eyebrows furrowed. He was standing now, his body slanted due to the wound’s effect. Seeing the red that damaged the gray fabric of the pants he wore was too much, somehow worse than gazing at the deep cut that lay across his middle itself.

Sometimes you didn’t recognize him, both in the suit he donned and when he was home. When he was home he was supposed to be your boyfriend, not some man questioning the faith he had in himself and what he was doing. At this very moment, you couldn’t see your lover, what you saw was a bloody mess, consequences of an unruly life even. 

“You brush this off like its fucking nothing…aren’t you tired?” Your hands gestured outward, looking up and down at him almost disgusted. 

“Baby…” Matt wanted to tread as light as his mind would allow, hiding behind names that he’d call you any other time to steer this growing argument into some semblance of calm. It came out more condescending than comforting.

You tried to steady your breathing as you remained on the opposite side of the bed. 

“You can’t keep doing this–” you began on a choked breath.

“Stop it! this is my life!” Matt barked, his tone deep and frightening. Those words rolled off his tongue with such ferocity, voice velvet-deep yet insecure, without any hesitation. 

With your body jolting suddenly, your heart rate then shot through the roof. 

Matt was stuck on the words he’d just yelled for a moment until he steered his mental focus to your body. You’d gone quiet yet your chemistry was nothing short of alarming. The intensified rate at which your blood pumped reverberated in his ears, breathing pattern letting him know the unmistakable. 

You were caught in a panic attack. This was the first time he’d ever bore witness to one of yours, and it was like one giant sucker punch to his radar. He could deal with the guilt he felt toward his actions later, right now he had to focus on the consequences of the argument. Raising his voice turned out to be deadly.

“y/n?” He felt his own heart boom louder in his chest, a whirlwind of things to take in as he listened to your breath quickening.

You grunted in panic as you struggled to breath in a timely fashion, that detail filling him with more dread than any other signal your body was giving him. Those labored breaths were singled out in his head, the thud of the tears meeting your cheeks accompanying them. It was a horrific cacophony for Matt, eventually piecing together reality and what he needed to do.

The utterance of your name on his tongue got sucked into the void of your brain, fading away as everything around you didn’t feel real. You were staring blankly, arms at your sides until you noticed Matt coming around the bed, expression laced with concern.

“Are you ok?” He extended a hand out by your shoulder as he hovered in front of you.

Hearing those words yet again would’ve sent you into a frenzy in the context of the previous argument, instead they weren’t recognizable anymore. He was desperate to try and get to your conscience, but right now it was stowed and buried in a deep crevice far away. All you could do was freeze in place as you continued to struggle with breathing. 

Matt took matters into his own hands, placing hands at either of your shoulders and motioning you to turn. He wanted you to take a seat on the bedside, which was difficult due to your body going stiff.

“I’m here, I’m here–” He reassured through silent whispers. Those words were slowly making their way through the drum of your heartbeat to get to your thoughts, it was hard to focus on anything else but the empty feeling inside you. Once you focused back on his face, they rang clear and you grabbed the hand he extended in yours. The warmth his grip provided was calming, eventually letting your body defrost so you could move again. 

He took a seat beside you after you firmly sat on the bed, hands returning around your tensed shoulders. They began to settle down once he prompted more words of aid. 

“Count your breaths with me…can you do that, sweetheart?” Matt continued to whisper softly, almost feeling inclined to press his forehead to your temple. He thought the presence of his being close to yours would help you come back quicker. To restore the warmth that escaped your body as you rode out the attack. 

The hyperventilating scared Matt, as if he had to endure this ordeal as well, experiencing it vicariously through you. He tried not to let it deter him from comforting you.

You nodded fervently, your upper half rocking ever so slightly, challenging the compressed way at which Matt was holding you.

“Ok, ready?...one…two…three–” Matt began slowly, taking note of how your heart rate was beginning to steady after the first couple counts. It took a second to adjust to repeating it in unison, but slowly you found profound comfort in hearing his smooth voice counting alongside yours. It helped with bringing you to the surface, the reality that your partner was right there crading you in his arms, and that he wasn’t some monster who was out to hurt you. 

Matt had convinced himself he was one, in more ways than one. That was for another time, though. Right now his only job was to reel you back into this world that he’d accidentally thrown you out of.

You’d both gotten up to twenty before he checked back in with your delicate state. It relieved him to hear your beats had slowed significantly, normalcy now replaced your once ragged breaths. Your head was now in the crook of his neck, nuzzling into it further once you felt comfortable.

“I’m right here, y/n, I’m not going to hurt you” Matt said in repetition, even repeating it in his own conscience as a way to reassure the guilt now well-settled in his chest. It stung like an impossibly cold frost, despite the heat of you pressing into him tight. Heat that was supposed to make him feel better in reciprocation but it only helped you. For him it was like a blazing reminder of the mess he’d made, thinking of the words you’d expressed about, well, everything. 

You were tired of this life, this life that he’d incidentally roped you into. Matt pondered that every night, yet hearing you cry out in anger about it confirmed those thoughts he often lost himself in. 

That guilt of condemning you to this pain burned a cross-shaped hole in his heart, repenting for this sin would prove impossibly difficult. He wanted to punish himself a thousand times over, more than he already did as Daredevil, to make it up to you. Maybe you were right, it was consuming him whole, leaving little to no room for at least one non-selfless act. He didn’t believe in giving up that valiant part of himself, he’d cling to it with his dying breath if it came to it. 

Matt sighed, both at the relief of your now silenced body, and in response to those harrowing thoughts. He had to carry out his duty, thinking of next steps. The realization that either of you were still covered in blood dawned on him. 

“Matthew?...” you began, the ability to speak having returned after the worst being over. Shaking due to the aftermath, your hands finally came up to the arms wrapped around you, finding stability to cling to as your vision unblurred.

“Yes–I’m here” Ambling in a whisper, Matt closed his eyes and took in your scent, sifting past the blatant copper scent to get to your recognizable one.

“I’m sorry”

His heart sank even deeper at your hesitant apology, he couldn’t fathom it, almost scoffing at your sudden selflessness despite him being the cause of all this. You were too good for him, and that realization sliced like a hot knife.

“No, I’m sorry” He stated promptly, releasing the embrace and shifting so he could cup your face in his hands. Those sightless eyes stared back at you, finding purchase in the hazel hue. You searched for any words to say while silently accepting his apology that spoke to you in the form of his body language. The way he held you spoke of intense remorse, understanding that he understood the nature of what had transpired. His caress on your face was enough to keep you wordless, eventually getting cut off by his next words.

“We need to clean up…do you trust me to clean you up?” He asked, expression still riddled with complication yet it was in effort to remain gentle.

Despite your weakened state, you mentally rolled over at his intrepid selflessness again. He was sitting here telling you he’d clean you up even though he was the one bruised and frankly slashed. The twist in your gut from the earlier argument arose again, thinking back on it, yet folding it over and letting it sit for another time. Self preservation was the best way to tread on this situation. Right now, you couldn’t refuse just this one act that you knew would absolve some of the guilt coursing through him.

You gulped. “Yes, I do” 

He’d sat back up, holding a grunt back due to the wound yet again. Matt held his hands out to grasp yours, helping you stand back up. And stand you did, until he stepped to your side.

“Here, let me carry you” Matt gestured.

“What about that?” He knew you meant the injury. Staring back at his side threatened to upset you the same way it had before, trying not to focus on the blood. Your question made him rush to reply, knowing you were bordering on that fear again because of the spike in your heart rate. 

“Don’t worry, angel–” He began.

“I’m fine” It was a stern reassurance that attempted to put a thin band-aid over the obvious figurative bruise. He followed your footsteps of dodging any and all tension, focusing the energy on repairing whatever could be repaired. You had to carry on with what this hard morning had thrown your way.

With that, you allowed him to pick you up bridal, the weight of you being slightly difficult to adjust to given his state. He’d steadied eventually, his muscles flexing deftly under your arms which were wrapped around his neck. You squeezed your eyes shut as he walked toward the bathroom. 

A shower, huh, what a metaphor.

The guilt was seeping into you now, but you tried to remind yourself that you had no choice but to let him do this on his own accord. To deny his caretaking would be like offending that beautiful nature he possessed. All he could do was give all of himself, give, give, give, until there was no shred of sanity left. 

With Matt’s blood washing away under the water’s descent on your bodies, you sunk into his chest, soaking in the way he held you close. Turning to the side, you found comfort in the gray tiles, Matt accompanying that feeling with barely there hums. The longing you felt for him was incomparable, and you had no other option but to melt into the generosity. It was both excruciating and tragic, but who were you to deny his most preferred way to express himself. The only way Daredevil knew how.

~

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! feedback, likes and rbs are optional yet appreciated.

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prettyeyesnof4ce © 2022

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[bigdumbbambieyes]

Season of the (Love) Witch Harringrove Week 2022

Prompts - Witches x Online Dating & 2020s

tw murder, blood, minor character deaths

—————

Well, there goes another one, Steve thinks with a sigh, his brows pinched and upturned.

Feeling forlorn is something he’s slowly becoming used to, especially as he holds his bloody athame to his chest and watches Tommy bleed out on his bedroom floor. He can feel the warmth of blood slowly trickle down his hand and arm, taking a deep breath before turning to clean the mess they’ve made. 

I should’ve known, he laments to himself as he wipes his dagger off, he was a Pisces.

Wrapping the body up in his shower curtain had been harder than he expected, the guy was heavy, but Steve managed to get him downstairs and outside, burying him just under the flowerbeds beside his house.

Perhaps he’d make a better fertilizer than he was a boyfriend.

Perhaps he’d make a better fertilizer than he was a boyfriend.

With another gentle huff, Steve peeled his gardening gloves off and tossed them into an empty bucket, going back inside his house. It was an old thing, with shutters on the windows and almost a century old, settled quietly in a secluded area. It was littered with dried herbs and flowers, empty vials lining his pantry and a small cauldron resting on his stovetop.

If anyone were to come in here, they’d call him a witch. And they’re not wrong, no. But he’s not a witch witch.

He’s a love witch.

Because that’s all he wants: to love and be loved. It’s a desire unlike anything else - something even more powerful than the ache of hunger and the call of sleep. It’s like a biological function; love keeps his broken heart beating.

Nobody gets it, which is the most frustrating thing. He’s gone on plenty of dates back in Chicago, he spent literal hours on Grindr sorting through profiles with no pictures and guys who only wanted to fuck. They all want one thing: sex. And while love and sex could and did coexist, the balance was skewed and Steve often found himself aching for more.

He didn’t want just carnal pleasure - he wanted to be held, to be seen, to be heard, to fucking love. He wanted it to be all-consuming. He wanted it reciprocated, most of all.

Because he knew what it felt like to have it not be. He knew the pain of having his heart and soul ripped out of his body by the betrayal of a loved one, of wandering eyes and hearts. His ex-boyfriend had abruptly left him for someone else and he’d been spiraling ever since.

Perhaps it was pathetic, but he had to leave after that, so he left his busy lifestyle in Chicago and traded it in for a sleepy town hours away - in Hawkins, Indiana.

With access to his trust fund, the world was his oyster. He’d taken his car and drove, letting himself go wherever the road took him, and once he’d passed the ‘Welcome to Hawkins’ sign...he felt it. Something was different here, it was in the air and in the ground, like it--like it called to him. Here, he’d find the one. He’d find himself and his greatest love. 

It wasn’t until he moved in and discovered an old book in the basement that Steve learned the power of Love Magic. Perfumes and colognes to entice, potions to mesmerize, mantras and spells to manifest and attract. Everything he believed in when it came to love aligned that day, and he was eager to start his ‘hunt’.

The dating pool in Hawkins was small, especially when it came to bisexual or gay men, but that didn’t deter him. He was certain he’d find love here. 

He had to.

+

Missing posters went up around Hawkins and Steve was miserable. Everywhere he went, he saw his ex! Poor Tommy Hagan, gone without a trace.

Steve sits down in the local coffee shop and opens Gindr again.

Someone with the name ‘You&MyCamera’ messages him, and it’s a little intriguing. Camera? Perhaps he’s into photography? Perhaps he’s the opposite of Tommy and is exactly what Steve needs?

“Hey - are you using this?”

Steve glances up from his phone and blinks, catching sight of the bluest eyes he’s ever seen and a lovely spiced scent invades his senses at the same time. Very nice cologne. Blond curls, lightly freckled nose, cute ears, a silver ring on his hand that’s resting on the back of the extra chair at Steve’s small table.

He manages a small shake of his head with a small smile, “No, I’m not.”

The blond gives him a quick once-over and Steve straightens his back a little, admiring the way the other man smiles at him and mumbles, “Thanks.”

Steve doesn’t look away even as the blond takes the chair and slides it over to the next table, where a younger girl with red hair is sitting and pouting. He can’t really look away from the blond, either, not until his phone vibrates and he looks down to find that Mr. Camera has messaged him about meeting up.

+

It turns out that Mr. Camera is actually named Jonathan, and he’s very much into photography. In fact, when they first meet up, he wants to take pictures of Steve - artsy stuff, too, with shadows and silhouettes, something a little dark. They talk openly about what they want from life and about their fantasies over strong cocktails in Jonathan’s living room.

Which works for Steve because he himself is a fantasy, or at least tries to be. He wakes up early to take care of himself - he’ll pamper his body in a bath with pressed oils and homemade soaps, skincare from the earth, cologne he made himself, and he wears his clothes well. Tailored to his body, as they should be. His hair is always a perfect mess, too. Ensuring that he looks good always makes him feel good.

Jonathan is...not so much into those things. He brushes his teeth and brushes his hair and doesn’t even bother wearing cologne. He’d rather stay up late watching old films or developing his photos, or learning about cameras and how to get the perfect shot. He’s passionate, but other than that, they don’t have much in common at all. 

And Steve is irritated. He likes Jonathan well enough, he’s shy and cute, he’s good in bed, but he’s just...distracted. He should be loving Steve every chance he gets, not fiddling with silly old cameras or telling Steve that he can’t go out with him because his friend Nancy needs his help with something important.

But, not to worry. Steve knows how to fix it. He flips open his spell book at home and gathers his ingredients, following the recipe as his cauldron gently simmers. He invites Jonathan over that night and pours the dark, shimmering liquid into some tea, smiling as he smells the earthy scent of it before it’s gone, masked by the mint and flowers in the tea.

“I didn’t think you’d want me over so late,” Jonathan admits as he settles down on the couch with a smile, “What’s the occasion?”

Steve carefully brings the small tray over to him, smiling at the other man before giving him a little pout, “Am I not allowed to miss you and want you around whenever I want, Byers?”

“I suppose not,” Jonathan laughs softly, taking one of the cups as Steve offers it.

He watches Jonathan take a careful sip, wary of the temperature, but then his eyes cloud over a little and he takes another sip, humming in approval, “’S good,” he mumbles.

“I know,” Steve smiles, leaning back against the couch and brushing his hand over Jonathan’s soft hair, “Drink up.”

Jonathan finishes the tea before it even cools and if Steve could, he’d purr in satisfaction.

+

Things go...well. 

The potion works like a charm, for maybe a week. Jonathan is attentive and wants Steve around all the time, he even takes them out to the pumpkin patch one sunny Saturday afternoon - without Nancy, for once.

It’s a cute date, they take pictures with an old camera and pick out pumpkins, Steve holding his small green pumpkin against his chest as Jonathan goes off to fetch them some hot apple cider - his treat, of course. 

It should be a perfect afternoon and yet Steve is still irritated.

He has no idea why. He stands in his spot, pumpkin held against his coat, and watches Jonathan stalk away in his plain jacket and old jeans, so eager to please Steve now. He’s like an eager puppy and he’s sweet and shy and yet--

Steve jolts forward suddenly, bumped from behind, and whips his head around with a frown - only to blink in surprise.

The blond, from the cafe.

“Oh, shit - my bad,” the other laughs quietly, “I was looking over at the pumpkins and not where I was going—wait,” he furrows his brows a little as a knowing look slowly crosses his handsome face, “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“Briefly,” Steve finally says once he’s regained control of his tongue, admiring how that denim jacket sits on the other man’s shoulders, “You stole a chair from me at the cafe.”

“Stole?” The stranger grins, amused, “Pretty sure I asked before taking it.”

“Hm,” Steve hums with a playful look, feeling a cool breeze against his face that carries the strong scent of cologne, something spiced with musk and a bit of floral, and his brain goes blank.

“Billy,” the blond introduces himself after a moment of the two of them just staring, holding his hand out, “My name’s Billy.”

Billy. Steve smiles as he reaches out and takes his hand, feeling the firm grip and the warmth it provides his cold fingers, “Nice to meet you, Billy. My--”

“--I’m back!” Jonathan announces from just behind them.

Steve pulls his hand away from the blond and turns around to smile at his date, about to open his mouth to say something when Jonathan pushes the cup of cider into his cold hands and presses a kiss to his cheek. Steve blushes and glances over at Billy, curious to see the way those blue eyes stare at Jonathan, who is pretty oblivious to the blond as all of his attention is rightfully on Steve.

“C’mon, we can go get lost in the corn maze while we drink these,” Jonathan smiles, tugging on Steve’s arm, eager to go.

And Steve loves that idea so he nods, but casts one last look at Billy, who’s gaze slowly slides from Jonathan and back over to him, lifting a brow in question. But, he says nothing. He shoves his hands into his jacket and gives Steve a small, tight smile before nodding his goodbye, turning on his heel to head back to wherever he came from.

No matter how hard he tries, Steve can’t get that look out of his mind.

+

A week or two passes.

And Steve is annoyed because he’s run out of an herb and so his potion isn’t as strong. Jonathan starts to become distant, stops coming around whenever Steve asks him to, he starts staying home again and skipping dates in favour of hanging out with Nancy. He starts treating Steve like he isn’t a priority.

Sick of it, Steve finds another recipe in his book and realizes that he can get one of the ingredients locally. With a sense of renewed hope, he rushes off to the local flower shop, which is run by a lovely lady named Chrissy. She welcomes him warmly and smells just like a rose, directing him towards the back of her shop where the dried items are kept.

When he gets to the back, he runs into a familiar face, which stops him dead in his tracks.

Billy looks over at him and smirks softly, holding a small packet of dried elderberry as he hums playfully, “Are you stalking me or something?”

“Or something,” Steve chuckles with a small shake of his head, going over stand next to Billy and see what dried goods he could find, continuing to speak, “Although I’m starting to think you’re stalking me.”

“Relax, pretty boy,” Billy hums as he puts the elderberry back and reaches for the rosebuds, “I have better things to do with my time than stalk you.”

Steve rolls his eyes and grabs the pouch of rosebuds that Billy was reaching for, delighted to have Billy looking at him again, even if it’s a sharp look. He smiles with a little shrug, “I dunno, I think I’m worth stalking.”

Billy lifts a brow, barely even blinking as they stare at one another, “You think so, hm?”

“Mhm,” Steve nods, and then gives the blond a curious look, “What are you buying rosebuds for, anyway?”

Turning to face him, Billy smiles meanly as he speaks, “My sister wants them, if you must know. She’s in school right now and Chrissy’s shop has weird hours so I’m grabbing them for her.”

“Aww,” Steve coos just as mean, enjoying this little bit of strange banter as he fails to keep a small smile off his face, “Such a sweet older brother, aren’t you?”

There’s a darkness in Billy’s eyes, blue like a stormy ocean as he smirks at Steve and shakes his head ‘no’ slowly, muttering, “I’m not as sweet as I look.”

Steve licks his lips, feels his stomach flutter as Billy comes closer and that same spiced, floral musk fills his nose. It has him whispering as he stares into those blue eyes, “Yeah...you don’t look very sweet to me, I take back what I said.”

“Good,” Billy hums, and then plucks the pouch of rosebuds right out of Steve’s hands, looking very pleased with himself as he steps around him, “See you around, pretty boy--”

“Steve,” he interrupts, all but whipping around to watch Billy stop and glance back at him curiously from over his muscled shoulder. Steve clears his throat, “My name is Steve.”

Billy looks him over again, slowly, with purpose, until he smirks and says, “I like ‘pretty boy’ better.” And turns to head to the front of the shop to buy the rosebuds, leaving Steve to stand alone and stare.

+

He’s certain Jonathan is in love with Nancy and she is just as in love with him and it hurts.

What does Nancy have that he doesn’t? 

He even considers the possibility that Nancy has whipped up her own potion for Jonathan, but he knows that she is no witch, she’s just a smart girl with a lot of passion. When they had first met, they’d discussed a lot of things - one in particular being love.

“Love is nice, but it’s not something I’ve ever really obsessed over,” Nancy had said as she lifted her teacup to her small mouth, looking at Steve as she did, “There’s so much more to life than romantic love.”

And he had wanted to scoff, to roll his eyes, because obviously there was but everything paled in comparison. Instead, he indulged her as he plopped a sugar cube into his tea and asked, “Like what?”

“Your career, for one,” she said after a long sip, “Your hobbies, traveling, reading - plenty of things.”

Apparently four things was ‘plenty’ to her, but Steve just gave her a small smile as he stirred his tea, glancing over at Jonathan to see clear admiration in those dark eyes as he stared at her.

What did Nancy know about love, anyway. She never spoke about past loves or what her ideal partner would be - although Steve had a sneaking suspicion on what or who that might look like. While she did complicate Jonathan and his relationship a lot, she also never made any moves on him, and Steve had to wonder if she ever would.

Perhaps it was cruel and mean, but he liked having what she didn’t. What she couldn’t.

That was, until he’d caught them, on a Sunday afternoon a few days after purchasing his dried herb.

Steve had spent all morning cooking up the new potion and infusing it within freshly baked lemon squares, eager to see the effect this recipe would give. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t seen Nancy’s car out front, too busy fussing with the little box in his hands as he opened the front door with the hidden key under the mat.

When he had opened the door, he heard a squeak, like a mouse, and looked up to see Jonathan pressing Nancy into the wall, his mouth on her neck and her fingers digging into his shoulders, a look of pure desire across her face.

He’d dropped the lemon squares onto the floor and the two broke apart, calling after him as he rushed out of the house, pinching the bridge of his nose to hold back tears.

It wasn’t fair. Even with the use of magic, he was unlovable.

He got back into his car and drove aimlessly for a long time, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, taking long drags until it burned his lungs a little. He drove with it pinched between two fingers on the steering wheel, his brows also pinched as he thought. 

There was something here, still calling to him, but what was it?

Perhaps he was wrong, or maybe his intuition was messed up. Maybe Hawkins was a bad idea.

The sun is beginning to set so he decides to head back home, rounding a curve and nearly slamming on his breaks as he almost rear ends another car parked on the side of the road.

“What the--” he huffs as he pulls over just ahead of the old Camaro and looks in his rearview mirror with a frown, but his eyes widen as he spots a familiar head of blond curls in the driver’s seat.

Billy. 

Steve parks his Beamer and gets out, watches as Billy looks up from his lap and a smile appears on that handsome face.

“Well, well, looks like my knight in shining armor has arrived,” Billy chuckles as he pulls himself out of the car and looks Steve over.

That familiar cologne is in his nose again before he’s even near Billy, almost like he’s expecting it now, and he stops just a few feet away. His eyes go down to the tires on the car and spots the problem: one of the rear tires is completely blown. He glances up at the blond again, quirking a brow, “Haven’t called a tow truck yet?”

“Phone’s dead,” Billy sighs and clicks his tongue, because isn’t that just shit luck, before holding up a paperback for Steve to see, “Been trying to pass the time until someone drove by, and lucky me, someone finally did after two hours.”

“Two hours?” Steve frowns, “What are you doing out here, anyway?”

Billy smirks, “I could ask you the same thing.”

Steve purses his lips, looks away, because the hurt is still fresh and raw and Billy quickly catches his change of mood because he clears his throat and asks, “Could you give me a lift back home so I can grab my spare?”

And who is Steve to leave a man stranded?

+

Having Billy as a passenger is probably the best thing to happen to Steve. The entire drive back to town, they talked - about everything. Where they were from (Billy was from California), what they were doing here (Billy was the legal guardian for his younger step-sister until she finished high school), where their family was (Billy said his father and step-mother were six feet under and his mom wanted nothing to do with him), what they liked to do in their spare time (Billy liked to work out and garden and read), and there wasn’t even a moment where they fell into awkward silence. 

It was easy.

And once he pulled up to Billy’s house, the blond had reached over to place his hand on top of Steve’s on the steering wheel, giving it a gentle squeeze in silent thanks. It made him smile, and he nodded his head towards the house, “Go on, I’ll be here.”

It was odd, to be so willing to help Billy like this when he could be nice and cozy at home, but...he also didn’t mind. He liked helping - he liked being useful, no, needed. He loved feeling needed and wanted.

And Billy needed and wanted him.

So much so that when Billy had finally put his spare on and Steve had chatted his ear off the entire time, the blond had asked him to dinner with a soft, shy, barely-there smile and Steve had sighed a soft ‘yes’.

+

The desperation he felt for Jonathan had lessened and lessened as the days went on, especially when he had Billy.

It could have something to do with the fact that he’d put a curse on the new happy couple, but, it was definitely because of Billy.

The blond was everything he had ever wanted. Strong, smart, masculine - to start. Billy had a burning fire within him, Steve could see it in his eyes, and he was entranced by it. Billy was attentive and caring, cold to everyone else that he didn’t care about, and Steve adored him. He loved it when Billy would stop by with either a book or movie and some wine or beer for them to share.

Steve’s favourite thing to do was put on some gentle background music and drink Billy’s homemade strawberry wine while the blond read to him. It was romantic and thoughtful and everything Steve wanted. It was everything Billy wanted, too.

But, as the days turned to weeks, Steve felt…insecure. Billy was an absolute dream and if his previous loves had fizzled out, maybe Billy would, too - and he couldn’t have that.

So, he made his potion. The herb had grown back better than ever so he cut a few leaves and brought them inside, pulling out his faithful spell book and cauldron.

He knew it wasn’t the best idea, to give Billy this potion when the blond already seemed so invested, but he didn’t want to lose that. He couldn’t risk Billy not loving him.

+

It’s a Sunday night when Billy comes over again, Steve greeting him at the door with a smile and a kiss, letting himself get wrapped up in the blond’s affections and quiet tenderness. Billy murmurs how he’s missed Steve, right into his ear, and Steve melts in his arms.

“We saw each other, like, two days ago,” Steve can’t help but laugh softly, feeling the brush of Billy’s lips and moustache against his neck as he’s kissed there.

“Mm, doesn’t matter,” Billy mumbles, sliding his palm down the curve of Steve’s back, slowly, until he’s grabbing a handful of his ass and Steve pushes him away with a playful look.

“Hands to yourself, bub,” he grins, still letting Billy grab his wrist and pull him back in, although he does rest his hands on Billy’s chest where his shirt is unbuttoned wide open, “You want a drink?” He hums.

Billy nods, smiling softly as they stare at each other for another moment and Steve takes a deep breath of that spiced cologne and sighs dreamily, feeling safe and warm and loved just like he’s always wanted and deserved.

“Tea?” Steve murmurs, peeling Billy off of him with a grin as the blond continues to paw at him, making Steve laugh again, “Enough! I need to make the tea!”

“Alright, alright, princess - don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Billy smirks, giving him a smack on the ass before heading over to the living room to sit down and wait for the tea.

Which, of course, contains a few drops of the new potion. Steve watches it shimmer in the tea, stirring slowly, and places the spoon aside to bring the small tray over to the living room - where he finds Billy touching his neck and wrists from his spot on the couch.

Billy abruptly stops, his eyes wide like he’s been caught, until he spots the teacups and pats the spot beside him. A silent ‘come here’, and Steve eagerly goes, noticing the small bottle Billy shoves back into his pants pocket.

“What’s that?” He asks as he sits, placing the tray down on the coffee table in front of them.

“Just my cologne,” Billy answers, “What kind of tea is this?”

Steve picks up Billy’s cup and hands it to him carefully, letting rough hands take the porcelain. “It’s just mint tea, picked it myself,” Steve smiles.

Billy’s brows lift at that, like he’s impressed, and he lifts the teacup to his mouth but freezes as he gives it a sniff just as his little bottle of cologne tumbles out of his pocket and onto the floor.

Steve’s immediately on it, bending forward to grab it off the hardwood and bringing it to his lap - and he freezes, too.

It’s a potion bottle. Just like his, but smaller, more portable. The liquid is a shimmering red-orange, like a bottled sunset, and he looks up at Billy to find the blond staring down into the tea.

“Is this—”

“Are you—”

They snap their mouths shut and look at each other, eyes wide in disbelief.

Billy’s the one to break the silence first, asking quietly, “What’s in this tea?”

And that makes Steve worried, because most people don’t notice the small shimmer and earthy scent just under the sharp mint. But Billy did the second he lifted the cup to his face.

Maybe it’s immature or stupid, but Steve doesn’t answer - instead, he holds up the bottle in his hand and gives Billy a questioning look, “I’ll tell you if you tell me what this is.”

Surprisingly, Billy looks…embarrassed. Just a little, because he sets the tea down onto his lap and looks away, his brows furrowing as he thinks his answer over. After a moment, he clears his throat gently and says, “It’s a…a love potion. A cologne, meant to entice the person meant for me.”

Steve blinks, shocked.

“Hold on,” Steve adjusts himself in his seat so he’s facing Billy head-on, holding up the bottle between them, “This is what I’ve been smelling for months? It was you?!”

Billy gives a small shrug, “I mean - yes? Unless someone else has placed a charm on you.”

No, Steve certain no one hasn’t. But then again, he didn’t expect Billy to be using love magic on him.

So, he opens the bottle and gives it a sniff - and yeah, that’s it, the spiced cologne he’s been smelling since they had first met in the cafe.

“Wait,” he says as he corks the bottle again, “When did you start this?”

“Just before you came to town,” Billy mutters, “I was working on manifesting and meditating when I saw a, um, sort of…vision. Messy brown hair and big doe eyes. I found a recipe that’s meant to help with attracting the person meant for me so I used it, and the next day, we met at the cafe. And then we kept meeting, almost by chance.” Billy pauses and lifts the tea again, staring down at it as he mumbles, “And now you’re…making me drink a…potion?”

Steve winces, because yeah, he is. “It’s the first time,” he blurts out, “With you. I…I haven’t used any magic with you because I didn’t want you to leave me. But I haven’t had to. You seem to like me as I am.”

Billy looks up again, this time in disbelief, because he says in a matching tone, “Of course I do. Stevie, you know this. I’m here every chance I can get, you don’t need to put me under a spell to make me love you.”

Love you.

Billy loves him.

“You love me?” Steve asks in a quiet, tiny voice.

And Billy gives him a tired, affectionate look. Smiles gently and nods. “You know I do.”

“And I love you. So, let’s stop this,” Steve says definitively, “No more cologne and no more love potion. Okay?”

“Okay,” Billy agrees with a small smile.

As if to prove it, he sets the cologne in front of them on the coffee table and takes Billy’s cup from him, going to the kitchen to make him a new one.

And that should be the end of it. No more potions, charms, colognes.

But Steve can’t stop.

He puts a single drop into the new cup of tea. Billy has to love him. Steve can’t let him go.

Perhaps it’s better this way, he thinks as he returns with the new cup and sits down, watching Billy take a sip, sealing their fate.

When he picks up his own cup from the coffee table, he notices a shimmering liquid in it and a spiced scent just under the mint.

He takes a sip and thinks, yes, definitely better this way.