Series Synopsis: The story of how you, the bastard daughter of the Hiiragi clan, gain power in a country at constant war — and how, just as quickly, you lose it, too.
Chapter Synopsis: The morning after your encounter, you meet a strange gardener with an even stranger name. That night, you strike a risky deal with the ninja.
Series Masterlist
Pairing(s): Otoya x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 6.0k
Content Warnings: sengoku period au, character death, angst, sad ending, implied abuse, lots of political content, violence and war, the characters will probably be ooc a bit (as is to be expected when you put a bunch of soccer freaks into the warring states period), they are all morally questionable AT BEST, i promise i don’t hate your fav if they act heinous it’s just that someone has to, the prose here is so purple you might confuse it for reo mikage, i may or may not include original characters, i do try and do a bit of research but this is a bllk reader insert fanfic so please keep your expectations for historical accuracy and whatnot at a minimum, possibly a bit suggestive eventually
A/N: hello eita nation i hope you all are doing well on this fine day!! as i am sure you will be able to tell by this chapter i was born to be w karasu and forced to be w otoya 😩💔 JKJK dw guys there will be no second lead nonsense going on here trust 🤞🏻
When you next awoke, it was to a sore back and a rough feeling in your mouth — a dehydrated and papery sensation to your tongue, which lay heavy against your palate. You sat with your elbows digging into your thighs, your cheeks warm against your palms, your nightclothes clinging to your body in a film of sweat.
Last night had been the worst of them all, though it had begun so wonderfully. How had your mind thought of such horrible circumstances, in which you had promised Reiji’s life in exchange for your own? That assassin, or ninja, or whatever he had called himself…why had you dreamt of him? What did any of it mean? This was the first terror which had not culminated in your mother’s death. Were they evolving in nature? Would it now be your own demise which you saw?
Staggering to your feet, you began to ready yourself, clinging to the daily routine as a sort of stability. It hadn’t been real. The assassin, Yukimiya’s betrayal, none of it had been real. It had only been a dream. He would awaken soon, that Mister Kenyu Yukimiya, and he would be as kind and gentle as you had remembered, and once the negotiations were completed, he would marry you and take you to his manor and you would finally be freed of the names L/N and Hiiragi alike.
Dipping your fingers into a pot of herbal treatment, you swiped them across your face and waited for it to soothe your frayed nerves and inflamed skin. The treatment was a rare luxury that you had been given by your father — he spared no expense when it came to your beauty, for your face was a man’s first greeting and last farewell, and if an alliance was to be made, then both needed to be pleasant. After waiting for the prescribed time, you soaked a clean rag in water and dabbed it away, careful to ensure that you did not rub too harshly and undo the effects entirely.
During this process, you saw that there was something unsightly on your neck. Furrowing your brow, you leaned closer to your mirror, angling your chin away from the mark and rubbing a finger against it, hissing at the contact, which stung more than you had anticipated.
It was a shallow wound, so ugly and precise that it could only have been made by a blade. Falling backwards, you scrambled away from your dressing table, looking wildly around the room, searching for any signs of disturbance.
There was nothing. Of course, if he had been hired by a clan as high-profile as the Yukimiyas, and for such a delicate undertaking, then it stood to reason that he would not – that he would not have left anything behind. Anything but the fright which curled over your heart like a fist and the laceration on your neck, which had almost spelled your death.
Despite your efforts to convince yourself otherwise, you were now faced with the fact that it had not been a nightmare. You really had almost been killed. You really had promised your half-brother’s life away to that person — your half-brother! How could you have done that? You were the one who had killed a star, the one who was a bastard, the one who was unwanted. If Reiji died, then the Hiiragis would be lost, left without an heir, at a time when your father was far too old to produce another. And you — you were nothing. If you were to die, then what? It would not matter to anyone.
You could only stare at your reflection in the mirror, at the scarlet stroke against your neck, and wonder at the grave evil you had committed. You had to tell someone. At the earliest convenience, you had to warn your half-brother and father about this plot against your family. If they knew, then they could increase their defenses, protect the manor until the Yukimiyas and their retainers were dealt with, until that ninja was found and brought to task.
Reiji cared not for the propriety of knocking nor announcing his presence, not when he was in a fury, as he was today. He stormed into your room while you were lost in your thoughts, stopping with his hands very near to your throat, as if he had considered choking you but found no merit in it at the last moment.
“What did you do?” he said.
“I know not of what you speak,” you said.
“Yukimiya,” he spat, the name falling from his lips like the venom of a snake. Well, Hiiragis were serpents, weren’t they? You understood that comparison better than anyone. “He has vanished in the night. What did you do to him? How did you chase him away?”
“You believe that it was my doing?” you said. “That I, whether out of malice or ineptitude, drove him away?”
“What else could it be?” he said. “The cursed daughter of the Hiiragi…do you know what they call you in the village? The laughingstock you are? Perhaps it is that he came to know of your vile nature and was duly terrified. For that I cannot blame him, though it was a cowardly act to flee without warning. Now, an alliance is all but impossible, and it is your fault.”
“I cannot claim to even understand the affairs of the daimyos,” you said. “So how could I have meddled with them?”
He was blaming you. His own would-be murderer had been foiled, wholly thanks to your actions, yet he was accusing you of a crime, of dooming an alliance which had only ever been a farce. You wanted to tell him these things, tell them to him well, but something made you pause before the words could come.
“Insolent witch,” he said, and then his eyes zeroed in on the column of your neck. “You have been injured?”
You wished that he was asking out of concern, but in fact it was nothing but an appraisal. Were you, his father’s precious asset, damaged in some way? Or was this injury some clue towards Mister Yukimiya’s flight from the estate? These questions flickered across the pale seas of his irises, and you pursed your lips.
You could say it now. You could tell him what had happened, the truth of it, and you sensed that he might believe you. Reluctantly, unwillingly, and perhaps not entirely, but he might believe you enough that he would take the threat seriously. The manor would be fortified within the hour. An army would be amassed and sent to the Yukimiyas before the moon’s cycle was complete. You had that power. You could save your half-brother, save him as well as yourself.
Though, would it be fast enough? The ninja could be anywhere. He could even be in the manor already, and you were certain that your betrayal would not go unnoticed if that was the case. You’d be dead as soon as you tried to warn him, and Reiji’s end would inevitably follow.
Something coiled in your stomach, something like a pit of serpents which writhed in a frenzy as you came to a sure conclusion. It was not an attractive one, but you were so certain of it that, in that moment, it became an unavoidable truth.
No matter what you did, Reiji would die. It was written, was set in stone, and you could not change it even if you wanted to. Your choice, then, wasn’t between saving him or not saving him — he was no longer a person that could be saved. The one who still could be, the one whose life hung in the balance — it was you.
“I rolled onto a stone,” you said. “I have since cast it from the window. I am saddened to hear of what happened with Mister Yukimiya, but I swear to you on my life that I had no involvement in it.”
“What good is your life?” he said. “Swear on something of a greater value.”
“Then I swear it on yours,” you said. “I am telling you the truth.”
“I shall have you banished if I find you are lying,” he said. “Banished or executed. To make such a claim on my honor...you are shameless to say the least, Y/N.”
He left with a flourish, his robes billowing behind him, the painted screen obscuring his figure as he stalked away. You swallowed as you watched him leave, your cut burning with the sin of the lie.
The manor was in a disarray after Kenyu Yukimiya’s disappearance, and it was all you could do to sneak some food from the kitchens and then tiptoe outside to the gardens to eat. Reiji’s anger would be pale in comparison to your father’s, and though your father was less likely to turn his ire upon you, he was not the sort of person that one preferred to be around when he was in such a mood.
Sitting on a bench swing, hidden from the path by a grove of ginkgo trees, you pushed off with your feet so that you could sway gently as you ate. The rocking motion must’ve been something like being on a boat, you believed, though you could not know for yourself. You had never left the manor, were not allowed to, and so the ocean remained a mystery, albeit a beautiful one.
Still exhausted from the previous night, you closed your eyes once you were finished with your semblance of a breakfast, folding your hands in your lap, though you did not allow your head to loll back as you longed to. You could not sleep in such a place, but this dignified form of repose would be acceptable even if you were caught by Reiji or your father.
“Are you asleep, lady?”
What felt like only moments later, you were startled to consciousness by a voice which was as tentative as it was foreign. Your eyelashes fluttered open, slowly and then all at once as you realized a man your age stood before you.
“Ah, who are you?” you said, still blinking the grogginess from your vision. He was dressed in the garb of a gardener, and true to form there was mud flecking his uniform, but for some reason he held a wooden sword at his side. When he realized you had noticed it, his face reddened, and he bowed his head in surrender.
“You may punish me as you see fit, Miss Hiiragi,” he said.
“Excuse me?” you said, genuinely confused. “I was only asking your name because I found you unfamiliar…and do you mean to mock me with that address? Miss Hiiragi?”
He had an open and honest tone, with a twang of a simpler accent than the one which you had grown up around. His features were fine, still unweathered from the sun and wind, angular in a way which belied his true youth, and both his hair and his eyes were dark, though they had an iridescence to them — like crow-feathers or beetle-wings. It was impossible to describe the effect, for when you listed these attributes in your mind, it felt as though you were speaking about someone quite plain, but all in all he actually had a pleasant appearance. One might even consider him handsome, if they were so inclined.
“Mock you?” he said, his knuckles white against the grip of the training weapon. “I did not. Is it — is it that you are the Lady Hiiragi? I beg your pardon for the offense. ”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “You’re new, are you not? When did you get here, and from where are you from?”
“I am,” he said. “I came this week, from a village nearer to the river. My father is — was a foot soldier in the employ of a samurai, but he was killed in a skirmish, and so I was sent to study in a temple.”
“This is not a temple,” you pointed out. He gave you a wry grin.
“It wasn’t a life I found suitable,” he said. “I left as soon as I could, and I have been in search of work ever since — whether as a foot soldier like my father, or an even less glamorous occupation, it mattered little to me. Lord Hiiragi was the first to hire me despite my name.”
“Your name?” you said.
“Tabito Karasu,” he said.
“The traveling crow?” you repeated. When he nodded, you could not stop yourself from snorting. “Is that really it? It cannot be. Surely you jest!”
“It is a title as much as it is a moniker,” he admitted. “I was only ever known as Karasu before my father died, as he was before me. It was after I escaped the temple that people began to call me Tabito. The traveler. The crow without a home.”
“You tell a good story,” you said. “Though I fear I cannot take you at your word quite yet, Tabito Karasu.”
How could you trust him? Karasu, whose arrival coincided exactly with the Yukimiyas’ plot and the ninja’s threat, who held a sword in his hands despite his status as a gardener. He was not your assailant from the previous night — you would not forget that voice so soon, and anyways you believed the ninja had been slenderer than Karasu, leaner and of a smaller frame, at least based on the way his body had felt against your own. Yet it was not an impossibility that they were in league, that Karasu was meant to observe your actions and report back to the ninja, so it would be folly for you to lower your guard.
“Because of the sword,” he said. “And my error in addressing you. I apologize for both, Lady Hiiragi.”
“Lady Hiiragi is dead,” you said. “The mother of my half-brother. He tore his way out of her womb and left her a lifeless husk. You are lucky my father was not around to hear you call me that; he’d have your head for the assumption. You were closer when you referred to me as Miss Hiiragi, though not exactly on the mark. Have the other servants truly not warned you about me?”
“They shun me,” Karasu said. “I could not tell you the reason why. Perhaps it is that they have not warmed to me yet. Perhaps they never will.”
“Servants take after their masters,” you said, taking pity on him. “Those in the Hiiragis’ service will not accept you, an outsider, until you have proven yourself to be one of them. If that is the extent of your ambition, then I should advise you to keep out of trouble — if it is possible for a person like you, traveling crow.”
You gestured at the sword. His fingers twitched, but he did not relinquish his hold on it. You were not sure whether he was embarrassed or angry; regardless of which he felt, he straightened his back, standing with the pride of a samurai, which was incongruous with his humble background.
“You were surprised that I had not been warned about you,” he said. “Yet I cannot see anything about you which would merit warning.”
“Supposedly, I am cursed,” you said. “Y/N L/N, the daughter of a servant, whose birth was marked by the death of a star. The laughingstock of the village and the manor alike, I am told. But Lady Hiiragi died before she could give my father a legitimate daughter, so I have in some sense adopted that role.”
“I see,” Karasu said. “Will you be consoled if I tell you that I have in fact heard some whispers in the kitchens about you? However, they painted you in a far more monstrous light. I was expecting the infamous Miss L/N to be an altogether hideous beast, but you are entirely a normal girl.”
“It is good to hear that my notoriety has not faded any,” you said bitterly. “Enough about myself, though. What are you doing in these gardens with one of the samurai’s swords? Is your work not of a tamer nature? There are no enemies to slay amongst the flowers, I am sure.”
“In this season, gardening is an easy task, so I have an excess of free time. I spend it training, for it is as you said — this is not the extent of my ambitions,” he said.
“That sword is not yours,” you said. You waited for him to deny it furiously, but to your surprise, he shrugged and then nodded.
“It is not,” he affirmed. “That is why I told you you can punish me as you see fit. I have stolen from the Hiiragis for my own personal gain, and I do not even feel guilt for my actions. It will be better for my constitution if you make me regret it; I am certain I will not without your intervention, and indeed I shall continue in the manner I have been should you leave me be, so I shall take whatever punishment you dole out with gratitude.”
You let out a delighted laugh. He was a brazen man, this Tabito Karasu, though he hid his boldness under a guise of duty and deference. Uncrossing your ankles, you stood and smiled at him, not out of submission but in recognition. He eyed you warily, but you swept past him, continuing on the path back towards the manor, though not without looking over your shoulder at him one final time.
“Consider yourself lucky that it was me you stumbled upon and not Reiji,” you said. “Verily, I remain unassuaged as to the truth of your identity and motives in coming here, but whatever the case may be, I have no desire to see you bloodied and beaten. Continue as you have been, then, though I implore you to be more and more careful. A snake never lets a bird out of its jaws once it has it there; you’d do well to remember that you are one such bird, Tabito Karasu, and you have found yourself in a nest of serpents with eager mouths.”
He might’ve thanked you, fallen to his feet and groveled, even, but you did not give him the chance to, and neither did you think it to be in his character. You left him standing by the ginkgos, the wooden sword balanced expertly in his hands, a thoughtful expression on his face as he swung it against the trunk of one of those ancient trees, over and over until you were well out of sight.
“Miss L/N!” Anri said, as soon as you re-entered the manor. “There you are! Lord Hiiragi has summoned you to his study. I have turned the estate upside down searching for you!”
“I was having breakfast in the gardens,” you said, omitting your conversation with Karasu. “And then I suppose at some point I fell asleep. It is harder to have nightmares in the sunlight, so it was a peaceful rest, which I have not had in some time. I’m sorry for the trouble.”
You both walked at a brisk pace towards the study, which was at the heart of the manor due to its importance to the lord. Anri’s face was flushed, though she had no reason to be worried; were it anyone else who had been summoned, she’d have been blamed for the tardiness, but it was you, and if there was anything the Hiiragis enjoyed, it was finding fault in any and all of your actions.
Your father sat cross-legged on the floor at his desk, a brush stained with ink in his right hand, the damp bristles wavering over a piece of rice paper. He was not writing, however, and as you watched, a droplet of ink splashed onto the pale expanse of the blank sheet, blooming into a black mark the size of your thumb. He scowled and returned the brush to its holder, balling up the ruined paper and tossing it in the wastebasket.
“Lord Hiiragi,” Anri said. “I have brought Miss L/N.”
His gaze snapped up to meet yours. “At long last. What was the cause of your delay, daughter?”
“I thought you would be far too preoccupied with other matters to care for my whereabouts, so I entertained myself in the gardens. I see now that it was a misguided assumption,” you said, kneeling on the floor across from him.
“Has Reiji informed you, then?” he said.
“Of Mister Yukimiya’s disappearance? Yes, he told me this morning,” you said. “What shall we do now?”
“I have sent a carrier pigeon to the Yukimiya estate demanding an explanation,” your father said. “Until then, we do nothing but wait.”
“An explanation? Have you not the slightest clue what might’ve driven their decision?” you said incredulously.
“It would be unwise of me to jump to conclusions,” he said. “An alliance is our end goal. If we move too hastily, then we risk losing that.”
The Hiiragis were a great clan, and their power was coveted by many simply due to the sheer amount they had. Should your father command it, the Hiiragi army could bring even the Yukimiyas to their knees, though it might take a toll on their forces. Yet it remained not to be an impossibility, and you could not understand why your father did not see the need to act at once.
“We ought to make a show of strength,” you said quietly, softly, knowing that, as always, your father would dismiss your suggestion in turn. “What the Yukimiyas have done is a grave insult to the Hiiragis, even if it was not intentional. Should we not, then, remind them of who they parley with?”
It was your attempt at warning your father. You could not call him to arms and tell him that the Yukimiyas had all but declared war upon your family, not with the ninja’s threat looming over you, yet neither could you stand by idly and watch the destruction of the Hiiragi clan — a clan which had never treated you well but was yours nevertheless.
“The relationships between daimyos are too complicated for you to understand,” your father said. “You are thinking entirely too simplistically. We cannot bare our fangs at every ruffled feather; we’d exhaust our resources before doing anything of significance. It is just as likely that Kenyu Yukimiya grew frightened of his future bride as it is that the clan has some or another scheme up their sleeves. Our duty is to rule out any other explanation before we ready ourselves for war.”
Of course he would say that — to him, Mister Yukimiya’s disappearance was still a mystery. An abnormality. He didn’t know what you did, that the entire purpose of the visit had only been to assassinate Reiji, your father’s only heir. If he had that knowledge, then he would surely take your side, but how could you give it to him in a way that did not invite further questioning?
“Can we not make preparations in the meantime?” you said. “The worst is that we will have to dismiss the army, but it’d be better if we are ready, should the Yukimiyas prove traitorous.”
“Were it that simple, I’d already have done it,” your father said coldly, in a voice which meant that he would not entertain further discussion on the matter. “Every single movement that the daimyos make is subject to scrutiny. Gathering forces in earnest will not escape unnoticed by the peasants, and from there, word will spread. The conflict will grow far more than it needs to.”
You wanted to tell him. You wished that you had the ability, that you could lean over that desk and shake him by the shoulders. You are a Hiiragi, you would shout if you could, behave as a Hiiragi must. His forebears would not have been so cautious, so cowardly — your father’s insistence on peace, on alliance, would’ve been admirable in another time, one that was more conducive to such goals, but now it bordered on witless. Of course he did not know the extent of the situation, but even then, as a daimyo, and the head of the Hiiragi clan besides, he was supposed to be ready to take action at any moment. He was supposed to give up anything for the honor and justice of his family.
“Very well, father,” you said. “I apologize for meddling. It was not my place.”
What else could you do? It was your week of terrors, after all. Even if you could say something, even if you did not live in fear of that ninja and his kunai, you doubted your father would believe you. What man would summon an army at the word of his ill-fated daughter? Perhaps the witless one was you, for thinking that speaking to him would’ve had any effect on what was to come.
“Correct,” he said. “Focus on your own shortcomings — of which there are many. Leave the work of the clan to Reiji and I, who are doubly well-suited to it.”
“Yes, father,” you said, standing and bowing. “By your leave.”
“Study today,” he said, a command, not a request. “If your body and face are not enough to keep a husband, then your mind and conversation must make up for them. Do not take lunch; study until supper, and then go straight to bed, so that you do not appear haggard when the next suitor comes.”
“As you wish, father,” you said, bowing at him one more time and then exiting the study, your nails digging into your palms so hard you were shocked that they did not come back bloody.
After the third hour of study, the characters swam before your eyes, endless blurs which you could not hope to decipher. You spent more time gazing out at the gardens, admiring the butterflies and wondering if that strange boy was still practicing his illicit swordsmanship, than you did actually working. It was not to your detriment; you were already far better-read than most your age. It had not been a lack of education which drove Kenyu Yukimiya away, and furthering your knowledge of history and the arts would not by any means change what had occurred or prevent its repetition.
The sight of Anri made you faint and queasy, but in a grateful way, for she in that moment represented a liberation from your torment. You were glad, too, that it had been her sent to fetch you and not your half-brother, who surely would’ve jeered at you in a manner you did not at present have the wherewithal to face with decorum.
Dinner was terse and strained, beginning and ending without conversation. Your father and half-brother both exchanged glances frequently, as if they were in on some private secret that you could never comprehend even if you were to hear it. There was a camaraderie between them, a relationship you could not hope to have with either, so you supposed it wasn’t out of the question, but this time, you did not feel as put-out as you once might’ve. You, too, had secrets of your own now, secrets which were far riskier to hold than anything they could’ve kept from you. It vindicated you to think that, in some sense, you had something over them both, despite their superiority.
“There will be more suitors,” your father said when you got up to return to your chambers. “The Yukimiyas are not the only clan in the area, and far from the most powerful. Another man will come for your hand soon enough, daughter, and when he does, you must ensure that he does not run with his tail tucked as Kenyu Yukimiya did.”
From what you knew of him, Kenyu Yukimiya had never tucked his tail a day in his life. He didn’t seem the type. You wagered he had pranced all of the way back to his estate with his head and spirits high at the success of his clan’s half-baked plot.
“Yes, father,” you said, sounding like a lost bird which could only repeat one mournful note. Yes, father, yes, father. When you were with him, it was all you could say. He huffed and then waved his hand at you obliquely, a clear dismissal that you would be hard-pressed to refuse.
Scurrying back to your room before Reiji or your father could call you back and place more inane demands on you, you readied yourself for the night, watching your window in fear all the while. What if you had not done enough? What if, in attempting to warn your father, you had revealed too much? What if this was your final night alive? Your heart pounded like drums in your ears, so fast and harsh it felt as though it might leap out of your throat.
Crawling under your blanket with trepidation, you lay on your back with your eyes closed, though sleep did not come readily. This was not a surprise — no person could rest in such conditions, when every breath they took had the chance of being their last.
“Don’t open your eyes.”
The voice was the same, and before you knew it, a familiar kunai was pressing against your neck. This time, though, it was the flat of the blade which he held to your pulse, so that it was more a reminder meant to intimidate than anything.
“It’s you,” you said.
“Hello,” he said, oddly cheerily. “Are you surprised?”
“No,” you said.
“I am,” he confessed. “I thought you would’ve run to your half-brother as soon as the sun rose into the sky, bawled to him all about your terrible experience and used the cut on your neck as proof. Yet you didn’t; in fact, when he approached you about it, you lied.”
“I suspected you remained in the manor, or nearby. The moment I told Reiji anything, you’d have killed us both,” you said. “No matter how swiftly my father raised his forces, it would not be enough to save us. Save me.”
“What a sad business it all is,” he said. He seemed unnecessarily amused, though then again, he had been like that last night, hadn’t he? Your plight was nothing but a pastime for him. Spiderwebs crisscrossed the back of your eyelids as you cursed him internally. “Your father, I mean. Ignoring his poor daughter like that…I’m sure he’ll come to regret it one day. It’s admirable that you tried for as long as you did.”
“My father — did you follow me the whole day?” you said.
“That gardener boy is handsome,” he said instead of answering the question. “Do you fancy him? It seemed like you did.”
“How did I not notice you? The entire day, and yet I had hardly a clue that you were there at all,” you said, your skin crawling at the thought that he had kept such a close eye on you without you noticing. He hummed thoughtfully.
“It’s my trade,” he said. “Why would I tell you my secrets? Suffice to say you will never know when I am there and when I am not; neither will you ever realize just who is willing to betray you for a few coins.”
“Do you mean to kill my half-brother tonight?” you said.
“Not particularly,” he said.
“Why do you prolong this?” you said. “Won’t the Yukimiyas be upset with you?”
“They’re the ones who erred first, so they can’t be,” he said. Though you could not see, it felt like he must be shrugging flippantly when he said that. “The Yukimiyas know better than anyone the value of patience. They’d wait for years if that was what it took for me to complete the job in the way they specified.”
“But you could complete it at this very moment, should you so please,” you said.
“Of course, I could do many things,” he said. “Yet I have found some diversion in this manor, and as I am so rarely excited by anything nowadays, I have decided to indulge myself in this new interest for as long as it keeps my attention.”
“And what might that diversion be?” you said. He poked you in the forehead.
“How far will you go, I wonder?” he said. “Most of the highborn, especially those altruistic ladies, are willing to give up their lives at the slightest provocation. I have never met any noble so reluctant to part with their existence as you. To think you would even give up your own half-brother, bastard as you are, for it! It’s interesting. It’s definitely interesting, that you add nothing of value to this world, and yet you are the one so determined to remain a part of it.”
“That’s all?” you said. “My life and how I lead it is nothing but an experiment to you?”
“An experiment, or a game, or a gamble,” he said. “Whatever you want to call it.”
“Yet games and gambles are better played with pairs,” you said, an idea forming in the back of your mind, one based solely on his curious personality, your last effort at salvaging something of this mess you were in. “There is no equality in things as they are.”
“Do you have a proposition?” he said, voice ticking up with intrigue. You swallowed, your throat bobbing against the metal of the kunai.
“If, within a moon’s cycle, I can find you, then you must change your allegiance and become mine,” you said.
“Yours?” he said. “Not the Hiiragis’?”
“Mine,” you repeated. “I have nothing to my name. Can I not at least claim your loyalty if I manage such an arduous task?”
He scoffed. “Very well. And what if you do not succeed?”
“It will be as we initially agreed,” you said. “I will give you leave to kill my half-brother, and then I shall help you escape this estate unharmed.”
“Alright,” he said, not even taking a moment to mull it over. “This game is even more exciting than the one I conceived of. I have a stipulation, though.”
“What is it?” you said.
“You cannot search for me in the night,” he said. “Once the moon rises, you must keep your eyes closed until daylight.”
“Do you mean to continue visiting me, then?” you said.
“It’s lonely, living in a place where no one can know you exist. Speaking to you is the only method I have of staving off that isolation,” he said.
“I accept your stipulation,” you said after a moment of consideration. It was a relatively harmless request, wasn’t it? You had no plans of running around the manor in the middle of the night, anyways.
“Try your hardest, Miss L/N,” he said, removing his kunai. “Though you must know that I only allowed this because I am assured of your failure.”
You exhaled. To some, this might have seemed a dangerous proposal, but in your mind, it was the only thing you could do. Besides, if you failed, then was there even a consequence? None that you were not already prepared to handle. Your half-brother’s death was something that, only hours ago, you had decided was inexorable. You had grieved it already, so it mattered little to you if you saved him or not.
That wasn’t why you were doing it, anyways. It was for yourself more than anything; you could not bear the paranoia of knowing that he was your enemy and was ever-present, ever-waiting with that kunai of his. You wanted him on your side. You wanted this ninja to belong to you, for you had this inkling that you would be a different kind of invincible if you had him, a kind of invincible that you could never dream of being otherwise. With him, you could reach the status which your father and half-brother enjoyed by virtue of their birth alone.
“I won’t fail,” you said, though you were unsure if he was gone by this point or not. “I cannot.”
There was a soft sound, but you could not tell if it was a chuckle or the wind blowing against the window. Either way, after that it was silent, and you knew he had finally left you alone.
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