#bleary eyes

[tamago-aki]

🎶CERVEZA CRISTAL 🎶

also thought it would be funny if the kyber Cristal was just. floating in the beer

context....

[inchidentally]

we all know Oscar speaks to media in carefully rehearsed and self-approved soundbites rather than risk impromptu vulnerability. which as a total side note is so fascinating bc he and Lando both call themselves over-thinkers but it manifests for Oscar in choosing to risk potentially being misconstrued as reserved or even cold/apathetic over giving the media/unkind public any part of his heart or soul to play with - whereas with Lando, he'd rather maintain the freedom of authenticity and then weather the brutal storms of being misunderstood - or accidentally misrepresenting himself. Oscar has no interest in becoming known as Himself, he just wants to be there in the racing history books with the people he's always admired and measured himself against. Lando wants to write his own story and have it be remembered by those who matter to him, Oscar wants to keep himself to himself and only focus on the parts of his career that matter to him and those close to him.

it's such a unique distinction between them and is equally laudable and authentic, but it's also so much a part of how they just Work So Well despite not taking a single one of the obvious easy methods to establish a friendship/bond or using any of the obvious easy ways to maintain it. (and even more notable bc unlike Lando with Carlos and Daniel where there was the age/life/hobbies difference and Lando had to adapt to the older guy's interest and friend groups, Lando and Oscar could've easily rolled with already sharing mutual friends, starting out in the same karting company, the same video games, same generation and references, and crucially Lando's best friend for life. the way they could have utilized all of that to push the great new bromance but didn't. that Max comfortably brings up Oscar on his stream so it's not like there's any issue there. it was a deliberate choice for them not to lean into something - at least publicly! - that the public would absolutely eat up.) like, they started from the mutual respect for what they're both trying to achieve in this sport and their own personal struggles and have built entirely off of that foundation. idk that fact and the way that get caught tilting their heads and smiling fondly at each other still just akjkkasfgagfagjflsagflj)

and like, Lando's deep pride in what they've built together as teammates and the history they are creating together and him finding his leadership and his strength in no longer being the kid, the little brother or the fanboy.

ANYWAY SORRY Oscar's soundbites are in no way fake or PR or advised by anyone else, it's that they're pre-rehearsed and parsed for anything a stranger could get their fangs into. he doesn't want any of his life with Lily out there for consumption so he lets her take the couple photos for his IG and he has his "my girlfriend would say/think/do" lines ready to go where they can be inserted and satisfy people wanting more of his romantic life. and the safety of Mark Webber as yes a supportive/father figure in his life but also a good source of harmless media humor. he has his "thanks to the fans and sponsors" "good to see all the fans out there" "my main focus is to improve my own performance" etc etc ready to go when talking about racing and what is owed to the people allowing him to have this rarified career. bc all of that is his Adult Life and happened after he became aware that gaining notoriety and sharing bits of his life would inevitably have it's very bad side. even tho he met Lily and Mark in his teens, his career and life trajectory were much closer to what his life is now than his life at say 14/15/16.

but he avoids or stumbles when talking about his own family, how he feels about the team in his garage who so closely represent people he doesn't want to disappoint, about Lando, about guys like Logan and Liam who he's spent significant parts of his childhood with, has only once mentioned Max F despite them being wrapped up in COVID protocol together and Max confirming that their relationships is still really good. the threads to childhood and a time when his privacy was never an issue are way too live and charged with those topics - to different degrees and different ways, but it's the same reason why he clams up and often doesn't have a handy soundbite ready.

WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS holy shit I cannot fucking stop rambling - is that him constantly saying how Baku meant more to him than Hungary and that Hungary was about ticking a box but Baku was when he knew how it felt to truly win - is because sometimes the soundbites are for necessity and to avoid further probing. the sponsors, his romantic life tidbits, the way he's trying to improve himself - sometimes they're specifically so that he can offer up a pink, beating piece of his own heart to show to people while never putting it directly in their hands.

Lando, their relationship, their teammate dynamic, what they talk about, the emotions they feel about each other, what happens behind that shared doorway of theirs - all of that is Off Limits and even the soundbites are incredibly rare. (the tiny glimpse of their solidarity against DTS with the "no, I'm with my team" "fuck 'em" and the intensity of looking into each other's eyes while they mutually process things being both a little eerie but so <3 !!) equally he will NOT talk about how he loves or feels about his mum, dad and sisters or any feelings and the soundbites are even rarer.

there's something to be said about neurodivergence and the decisions over what feels intimate in a controlled, safe reliable way (Lily, his own race performances, Mark Webber, funnily enough now in a smaller way Carlos who he admires/gets uniquely annoyed by) and what feels intimate in a don't-have-full-control, tied to childhood emotions, kinda scary way (his family, Lando, the impact he has on his team/McLaren) and it not at ALL meaning that one is more or less or important than the other, just different - but that is wayyyyyy too overstepping even for me to go into/even be able to go into or theorize. it's just kinda... (wild gesturing) there.

but Lando, Hungary, Baku… those have dark, visceral blood running through them. those things slot directly, terrifyingly into his hidden most intimate childhood feelings about dreams, ambitions, sacrifices, passions, insecurities, pains and joys etc (Andrea kissing both their heads lovingly?? feels so indicative and expressive on it's own of what was going on). Lando as a person and a driver pushing so fully into Oscar's attention and his ambition from literally age 13/14 - and not in the usual pre-F1 likes/comments that we as fans knowingly blow up into something deeper than it is - but in a oh wow he truly notched Lando into his own personal measure of ambition and also just found him fascinating/cool in a way he didn't do with any other driver! and it remained fully consistent up until he had Lando in his day-to-day life and didn't need to follow him any other way anymore! but it's unchanged from telling his mum he won't have to face such harsh expectations his first season bc Lando is so good to just recently saying he's proud to have The Best as his teammate to measure against. that's just !!! that's perilously close to an open heart!!

so when he cultivates soundbites for these things to present to the media/public, it's far from him dulling them down or acting dispassionate: in that case he could choose to just cultivate a white lie or a bland enough fib to get people off his back. it's actually because he so badly wants the world to know that he /knows/ Hungary was a mess and that neither he nor Lando ever had a hope of not being as vilified by one side as they were angrily defended by the other. that the relief of Baku that was evident in BOTH of them is something Real To Him. he will NOT say he didn't earn Hungary and he will NOT say that he ever would have expected Lando to be okay with giving back the lead bc neither of those things has ever been a question for him. but he very much does want people to see him authentically and feel the warmth behind the words when he says that Baku is for him The Win he wants to talk about and it's for the reasons we can easily assume. that if he speaks any more plainly than the soundbite then Lando's fans could rip into it or his own fans could rip into Lando over it or F1 fans could start claiming he's a cold blooded winner OR a teammate simp who doesn't have the killer instinct needed.

no, he won't hand that over to the media or the masses. he'll give a private little smile, add a warm, soft knowing lilt to his voice and return to Baku 2024 as the moment when his childhood earnestness hugged his adult ambition and that Lando and the Team and Andrea and his family are all tied up in that in ways that anyone with basic empathy can imagine. if someone needs it spelled out, if they are too biased or too dense or too emotionally undeveloped to learn human beings based on anything except dumb, deliberate invasiveness then they're precisely the people he's intending to keep at the gate. (*because it's precisely those people who have also latched their teeth onto Lando's vulnerability, claiming to be his biggest fans, storming around the internet and comments sections speaking for him and about him with an authority they never earned and being just as misguided and wrong as the people who only want to hate him)

idk just, every time he talks about Baku and gets that sweet smile on his face and I remember Lando striding around with sweet freedom filling his lungs and leaping up to shower Oscar in champagne at the group photo and the utter giddiness shared in having that awful shadow's chill off of them… like, it means SO much to him <3<3

[oriley42]

The face that launched 24k words of fanfic...

Read Weekend in the Poconos on AO3!

[sentientsky]

hey do u ever think about how crowley's eyes (a feature he's worked to hide nearly his entire time on earth) were fixated so so so firmly on aziraphale during the final fifteen, to the point where he followed the tiniest of movements, even as tears began to form in his waterline? even as his not-quite-human-heart was splintering in his chest?

CAUSE I DO

how was this permitted to be aired???? knowing full well that angsty queers like me would be sliding down the wall sobbing about it???? (also, if u want to read more about crowley and his eyes, i am once again recommending one of alex's metas: x)

anyway! full gif below the cut!

yippee!

[milflewis]

[altarfates]

respectfully looking at that indestructible body.

[muhnow]

🤧

[cb-writes-stuff]

Cat*

Kibbie :3

(Part 2/2)

[shreddeddescent]

i have drafted 4 chapters...... idk how much ppl wanna read at once, we go to the next 3 things on the timeline 😵‍💫

[irlvernon-moved]

im in this carat shit for life. i love them so much

[valeress]

ramble

[hinamie]

closing csp Before 11pm?????? maybe there is hope fr my sleep schedule yet...

[oriley42]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: House M.D. Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gregory House/James Wilson Characters: James Wilson (House M.D.), Gregory House, Stacy Warner, Lisa Cuddy Additional Tags: Voyeurism, premise inherently contains dubcon-y implications, but breezing by that with the power of denial, Peeping Tom-itis played for laughs (and lust), House/many different people, Season 2, Jealousy, Pining, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, variety pack of sexual acts, Getting Together, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Happy Ending Summary:

Wilson had a voyeurism problem. AKA the one where Wilson watches House have all kinds of sex.

[wearenotasfarwest]

New username

meandmypagancrew -> wearenotasfarwest

[diremoone]

one down, one to go!!

[beware-of-you-98]

Happy shay 3AM chapter posting to those who celebrate